#and i think i want it organized just for the sake of convenience for other people

[gamerwoo]

honestly debating on making an actual page/list for my fic recs instead of just using a tag because going through the tag is so fucking messy lmao

[thecrazyalchemist]

(this post is edited from time to time, some stuff may be outdated) [last edited: Sunday, August 11th, 2024]

---

Stuff to get out of the way:

I am a minor.

I am Israeli. I am tired. If you want Israel wiped away, if you want Jews killed - please get away from my blog and don't come back.

Post relating to my opinion on Zionism and current affairs <- this is a link to the post, please read!

Post relating to fundraisers and charities about the current conflict <- this is a link to the post

I want my blog to be a safe place for me first and foremost, and then a safe space for others. Not the other way around. I just came here to be silly.

This is my bubble. I'll post some stuff about chemistry from time to time (PASSED ORGANIC CHEMISTRY!!!! GOT A 97!!!! SO EXCITED), stuff from fandoms I like, reblog quite a lot maybe definitely too much (as @bettinalevyisdetermined said [I think]: "I abuse the fast-reblog button"), and generally random stuff my dopamine dependant fueled machine likes.

BEWARE: CHRONICALLY ONLINE

You're quite welcome to ask for random hugs! I have plenty - will take ions to run out of stock

Hug gif: (wanted to put it here because it's so good)

Sideblogs:

@randomshowerpoems - poetry sideblog!

@littlegnomewriting - a blog for posting very infrequently stuff I write

@thecrazyalchemist2 - clone if I have been cursed by the post limit

@the-hugger - ✨gimmick blog✨, self explanatory

Not gonna reblog every single post from there to here, don't wanna hit the post limit too often. Wanna know what's in there? Go look!

Also do please express your opinion about what I write! I appreciate it immensely 🥺

Some information bout me:

Current timezone: whatever the time in Greenwich is

Online name: Nick F. but you can call me Nick (you can also call me Crazy Al ;] | or Arsenic/Arsenick if you want - courtesy of @givemeasong-singamelody )

Nickolasnames: Quackamole Ferret (bestowed upon me by the amazing @annotated-catastrophe), alchemy buddy (bestowed upon me by the amazing @alchemicalwerewolf)

Titles: Attraction stealer - beware (bestowed upon me by the amazing @thebookshelflord)

Pronouns: He/Him, although I don't really care

Sexuality: bisexual

Favorite color: blue-green

Favorite molecule: Azidoazide Azide

Taste of my ceiling - chalky

I prefer tea over coffee

Preference order: jackets>hoodies>sweaters

What I think about when I hear the word cozy: sitting on a yellow couch reading a book (preferably next to a crackling fireplace), while thunderstorm, inside a library

If you have anything else you want me to add to here, just ask/comment/message/send in a vision/transport in an ancient bottle/come to me in a dream/however you want, but please be clear about it cause I'm a bit of a dum-dum

My Tag lists: (please choose which one do u want me to add you to!)

Reminder: if you want to be added/removed, just say so! Preferably comment/reblog the tag list you want to be added to/removed from to notify me

Picrews <- this is a link to the list

Quizzes <- this is a link to the list

Tag Games <- this is a link to the list

Making Notes <- this is a link to the list

Other <- this is a link to the list

Anything <- this is a link to the list (this one is mainly for convenience's sake)

Reminder: if you want to be added/removed, just say so! Preferably comment/reblog the tag list you want to be added to/removed from to notify me

---

(this post is edited from time to time, some stuff may be outdated) [last edited: Sunday, August 11th, 2024]

[flowerandblood]

The Prince and The Fox (5)

[ modern! • Aemond x friend! • female ]

[ warnings: angst, violence, swearing ]

[ description: After the events of her childhood, despite her best efforts, her neighbor and the younger brother of her friend Helaena, Aemond, does not want to know her. This state lasts until a house party organized by his older brother, Aegon, during which an incident occurs that will change their relationship forever. Slow burn, angst, toxic ex-Alys, rough Aemond. This is several anon requests combined into one fic. ]

WARNING: The main plot between the characters takes place in high school. Yes, in high school. The belief that teenagers wait with an intimacy when they are in love in high school is ridiculous to me. Aemond and the character here are the same age. Don't ask me how old they are, in my country you are of the age of consent in your first year of high school and an adult in the last year of high school, so if it is more convenient for you, think about it that way and decide for yourself. In this story, I am not following the trail that they are magically friends right away, but how they become friends and what that even means. I'm writing this fic to give the perspective of young, lost people, not adult women who want to see exactly themselves in everything they read. If that's all you expect, this isn't the fic for you.

I don't want whining about this in my comments or asks. I will delete these and block you. You have been warned.

Aemond + Evans Series Moodboard

This is my first story that has its own playlist, but yes! Get in the mood! Story Music Playlist Song used in this chapter: Ooh to be ah (Kajagoogoo)

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

In the morning, she was woken from a deep sleep by Helaena saying that breakfast was ready and that if she felt like it, she could take a shower afterwards. She rubbed her eyes, not knowing for a moment where she was or what had happened.

She thanked her and swallowed loudly, remembering the scenes from the night before, wondering for a moment if it was real or if she had just dreamt it. She quickly unlocked her phone to see her message history and froze.

Oh fuck.

She pressed her lips together thinking only of how embarrassingly pleasurable what she had experienced with him was, a closeness that probably surprised both her and him.

He enjoyed it.

He wouldn't have done it if it had been any other way.

She thought she couldn't screw it up.

She felt something for him.

She was surprised to see that in the kitchen, besides their mother, was also their father, whom she saw extremely rarely, from what Helaena told her he was often away on long business trips.

"Good morning." She said softly, and he nodded with a smile, swallowing loudly a piece of bread roll he had just taken a bite of.

"Good morning."

She decided to eat something light and settled for cornflakes with milk. She almost choked on them when Aemond appeared out of the blue, apparently he had just taken a shower because his hair was still damp.

He sat down opposite her and gave her a meaningful glance that made her hot, then reached his hand for the pancakes, involuntarily running his tongue over his lower lip.

She remembered the touch of his lips on hers, how soft and firm they were, how well he kissed, and lowered her gaze, swallowing loudly as she continued eating, listening to the exchange between Aegon and his mother.

"Your tutor says you can't concentrate and you're constantly looking through your phone instead of listening to what the teachers are saying." She said lowly, apparently hoping her husband would pick up on the subject as well. Mr Targaryen looked at her surprised and grunted, glancing at his son.

"Is that true, Aegon?"

Aegon rolled his eyes, combing through his hair with an impatient hand gesture, and snorted.

"It's Sunday for goodness sake, can I have at least one day of peace?"

After breakfast she thanked their parents for their hospitality, grabbed her things and decided she would go home, not wanting to take up any more of their time, she had to study for a test on Monday anyway.

Helaena hugged her and thanked her again for the lovely time, she glanced out of the corner of her eye at her brother who was sitting at the table looking at her with an impenetrable gaze.

They had not written to each other.

She wanted to, was even dying over not having contact with him, but on the other hand she thought that she couldn't keep nagging him now, that she had promised herself that she would let it all go at a leisurely pace, that hurrying might only discourage him.

She wondered if he was also thinking about her and what had happened between them.

The next day she got up very early and ran to take a shower, excited to see him again at the bus stop, to talk again. She was afraid that it would be awkward and weird, but at the same time she couldn't get the smile off her face. She decided to wear her favourite black short-sleeved dress with a collar, fastened with big white buttons and topped it off with black trainers.

She showed up well ahead of schedule, however, she couldn't stand to be home anymore out of excitement. She could feel her legs bouncing with excitement as she sat on the bench.

She swallowed loudly when she saw him walking with his backpack thrown over his shoulder from across the street, earphones in his ears as usual. Not knowing why, she got up from her seat as he walked closer, looking at him with big eyes.

For a moment they stared at each other, not knowing how to act, she could feel her heart pounding hard.

He pressed his lips together and looked away, swallowing loudly, without even taking his earphones out of his ears.

Something was wrong.

She didn't know why she felt such a tight squeeze of disappointment when he didn't sit next to her on the bus, but somewhere in the back, sitting with his hood pulled over his head, his forehead pressed against the glass.

He took a few steps back for some reason.

She swallowed loudly, feeling tears under her eyelids, turning the other way, wondering what she had done wrong.

She wiped her cheek with a trembling hand, ashamed that he had broken her heart with such ease.

She didn't seek his gaze or his attention, subconsciously sensing that he didn't want it, trying to focus on the class but feeling only a tightness in her throat and discomfort in her stomach. She thought she wanted to maintain her dignity, that she wouldn't run after him and beg on her knees for an explanation.

If he wanted to move away and changed his mind, so be it.

She tried not to look at him while he and a few other people stood at the bus stop waiting for their bus to arrive. She shuddered, however, when she heard someone say his name, a low, feminine voice.

She turned over her shoulder and noticed how a college-looking girl, much older than them threw her arms around him, she had long, beautiful raven-black hair, she was dressed in a smart, light-coloured coat and long, black heeled boots.

She looked so mature.

"Why aren't you answering my messages? Are you angry with me?" She asked, touching his arm in a way that suggested she knew him very well.

She saw him give her a quick, frightened look, as if he was uncomfortable that she was watching the scene, and then swallowed loudly, tense.

"Not here, Alys." He replied so quietly that she barely heard it.

"Are you ashamed of me?" She giggled, a genuine smile on her lips, her eyes bright, intense green, beautiful.

She felt tears under her eyelids again and turned her back to them, quickly putting her earphones in her ears, not wanting to hear this discussion, turning on 'Ooh to Be Ah' by Kajagoogoo on her phone, feeling the tears run down her face.

She stared dully ahead, wondering if they were together, if she had miscalculated in thinking that he was inexperienced and lost just like her.

She imagined him the way she wanted to see him.

She boarded the bus first, not caring if he was still talking to her or not. She sat down in the first better available seat, and when she saw that he immediately sat next to her she pressed her lips together and stood up, wanting to change.

She felt him grab her arm, felt him say something to her, but she pulled away from him.

"Now do you want to talk?" She growled, not even taking her earphones out of her ears, not even caring what he had to say, walking to the other end of the bus, tired and frustrated by his behaviour, by the fact that he didn't know what he wanted, by deciding for himself when they were supposed to talk and when they weren't.

She wasn't a toy but a human being who felt.

She figured real friends didn't behave like that.

She waited until everyone had left before heading for the exit and saw through the window that he hadn't gone home but was waiting, his earphones hanging by his neck from under his sweatshirt. She squeezed her eyes shut, sighing heavily.

Fuck.

She stepped off the bus, pretending not to see him, but he immediately followed her, grabbing her by her arm, turning her violently in his direction, ripping her earphones from her ears.

"− what −"

"− can you fucking wait? − I'm talking to you −" He growled, and she pulled away from him, frowning her eyebrows, furious.

"Just an hour ago you were pretending you didn't know me, my friend." She said with a sneer, turning away from him again, his hand again on her arm, this time clenched much tighter.

"That hurts." She muttered as he turned her again violently, holding her wrist, his jaw clenched, fury in his eyes.

"− just − just stop for fucking second and listen − okay? −" He asked, and she sighed heavily, looking away, standing still, feeling like her heart was in her throat.

She didn't know if she wanted to hear what he had to say.

"My ex-girlfriend texted me last night saying she wanted to meet me. That she misses me. I couldn't recover from her for a long time. I didn't know anymore what or if I felt for her after everything that happened between us… you know. Fuck. I just wanted to think it all through. Alone. And instead of giving me time, like you did, she came to our school nagging me. Okay?" He asked lowly, leaning over her, and she looked at him with a pained expression.

"Whenever you have to think about something are you going to pretend you don't know me? Don't worry, from me you will never experience nagging. I don't want a friend who cares only about his comfort. I will not be your secondary solace. I regret everything that has happened between us." She said with pain and disappointment, pulling away from him and moving towards her house without looking at him.

It took me a long time to recover from her.

I didn't know how I felt.

He still loved her.

He still loved her, and yet he himself proposed that she stay with him, that she kiss him.

He wanted to see if it would feel good with another girl?

To feel better?

She threw herself down on her bed as soon as she got back into her room and burst into loud sobs.

She felt used.

She believed him.

She believed him to have pure, sincere intentions.

She pressed her lips together as she saw her display light up in the evening, the screen showing that she had received a new message from him.

She shook her head and went back to reading her textbook, not wanting to talk to him, not wanting to listen to his explanations, not wanting to be his friend or anyone else.

After half an hour, however, she got another message and then another and sighed heavily, heartbroken, wondering why he suddenly cared. She figured he wanted her now because she didn't need him, but if she just got his interest back then he would pretend not to know her again.

She reached for her phone and unlocked it, going into her messages with a pounding heart.

She pressed her lips together reading his last two messages and swallowed loudly, feeling hot in her stomach.

I told Alys I'm sorry, but for now I want to focus on a relationship with someone else and by that someone I mean you.

Oh shit.

What was she going to say to that?

She sat and looked at the display, panicked.

She herself no longer knew what she felt, what she wanted.

She shuddered when suddenly a new message appeared below previous ones.

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back.

She decided she would do just that.

That she wouldn't answer him, she would just think about it.

Let him know what it was like.

The next day it was he who was already waiting at the bus stop when she left the house, as soon as he saw her he immediately pulled his earphones out of his ears, looking at her with wide eyes. She walked up to him and they stood like that for a while in silence.

"…did you get my messages?" He asked lowly, uncertainly, and she nodded. He swallowed loudly and hummed, as if he was thinking about something.

"Shall we go truant?"

____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes

[fatuismooches]

I see the angst you're about to drop on the next instalment and I'm about to cope by throwing in a cute scenario ( ＞Д＜；)

So fragile reader's hands tremor, without going into the full details of it - in some cases tremors may worsen either temporarily or permanently

Sometimes, the tremoring only happens on one hand! (But that has very *very* serious implications in reality, so for the sake of keeping things fluffy let's just say that it was just a weird day for fragile reader)

So, reader one day wakes up, and during the check ups they notice that, oh hey! Their left hand isn't tremoring for once, they're getting better! Then they raise their right— it's really wobbly

Segment, thinking that the tremoring is gone for now because of that one steady hand and is now trying to clip a monitor on Reader's right hand to check their blood oxygen (pulse oximeter): "Do keep still, there are a few more tests I must run."

Reader: "I'm not shaking it."

Segment: "..."

Reader: "It's erm... yeah."

Understandably, the Segment checking up on them is low-key freaking out because: why is that happening?? What's causing that?!

Meanwhile, reader who is also freaking out but is batting it away with humour, looking at their severely quacking hand: "Hm... I kinda need that... Ah, well, I guess I have an organic stipple pen now... that *is* what they're called, right?"

Then for the rest of the day (while the segments and prime are trying to find the root cause of that abnormality) reader is coping by joking around with said hand.

Reader: *picks up a test tube with shaking hand, the hand swirls the contents with minimal effort* "Oh! Wait— that sorta works? That's very convenient, actually."

Zandik, stressed: "My dear, get back on the gurney before I place you there myself." (Is worried that they might spontaneously collapse)

Shaky hands were nothing that new to you, having lived with them for a while due to your illness and all the stress that came with it. In the beginning, you tried to ignore them, but after a few accidents, you came to terms with the fact it'd be easier for everyone if you let the segments deal with your tasks. Especially on days when it seemed to be worse than others. But of course, there are times when no one can predict how bad it can get. This being one such moment.. Sometimes it gets to the point where ironically enough the Harbinger outwardly shows more concern for your wellbeing rather than you. (Although he's gotten used to you coping with jokes, he can easily see through that. He doesn't want you to put up a front around him but perhaps this makes you feel better? Unfortunately, the only one who laughs at your jokes is yourself... The others are too busy with their nose in some of your records or a machine.) And although they can't exactly make the tremors go away, the least they can do is make sure you don't need to do anything strenuous. Yes, their almost forceful instructions seem restricting, but they always say it's for the best.

[gemsofgreece]

Hello! I apologize if this is bad timing, but is there any way a foreigner can help with the wildfires? Maybe there are charities or organizations handling current fires that could use donations or something of the kind?

Thank you, and you don't have to respond! I only approached you because you seem knowledgeable, you don't have to do the educational work :)

Thank you so much for considering donating / supporting those affected by the fires. For the time being, I wasn’t able to find any open charities addressed to foreign people. I will keep looking just in case. If any Greek here knows any valid organisation accepting donations for the wildfires from abroad, please tell us.

If you ask me, honestly the best thing you can do right now is that should it ever come up to a conversation or a post or anything, just spread the awareness that this problem has got so monstrous dimensions across the country due to human mistakes and mass arsons, a lot of which are suspected to have questionable motives (I mean, beyond the standard motive of being an evil person lighting a fire just for the sake of it). It is crucial to spread this awareness because most people outside of Greece and the Mediterranean believe this is exclusively due to climate change and that Greece now has totally unnatural temperatures that cause these fires. This is not the case. Climate change is a factor for sure but wildfires have been happening since at least the sixties anyway. Nevertheless, 90% of the tragedies in the last 10 - 20 years are due to human neglect or criminal activity and not the climate crisis and this criminal activity grows exponentially every year while the government either is not able or not willing to confront, let alone solve the problem. So, again, if you want to offer in some way, spread this knowledge if ever given the chance. Knowing the true problem, exposing it beyond the borders, is what can mayhaps put pressure on the authorities, because for the time being they are hiding behind the convenience of the climate crisis and they are like “boohoo there’s nothing we can do, nobody can defeat the pLaNet’s WRatH”. Remember, the extensive, uncontrolled arson only exacerbates and accelerates rapidly the effects of the climate change. But they try their best to gloss over this except for the times the arsonists are caught in the act, when they have no excuses. There are already studies showing that Greece’s climate is fast morphing to an Egyptian / North African climate due to the hundreds of thousands of hectares burned annually. Athens has lost more than one third of its forests in the last 7 years. The second largest island of the country, Euboea, lost 85% of its uniquely beautiful forests three years ago and it keeps being set on fire still. Last year a 1% of the freaking entirety of the country was burned. A fire has been burning a forested mountain in the north for 29 days nonstop and nobody bothered to try to put it out until it poured rain on it a few days ago.

I can’t speak for other countries but I believe part of the wildfire problem at least in Albania, Turkey, maybe less so even in Italy and Portugal and other countries are due to questionable motives associated with privatisation of environmentally protected land and investment. This is happening outside of the Mediterranean too. I believe this to be a problem extending way beyond Greece, however I think Greece is among if not the most notorious for these wildfire causations in Europe.

[em-prentiss]

have I known you twenty seconds, or twenty years?

----

“Don’t you want to do something, though?” She asks, a little guiltily. Sleeping in is nothing new for her; she’s on vacation after all, it’s nothing to let go of a few hours of sleep for more time with him.

He seems content with this, though. “I am doing something,” Aaron says, resting his head back against his pillow to look at her. I’m spending time with you, he wants to say as her dark eyes meet his, lovely and wide and just a little drowsy, too.

Two mornings, twenty years apart. They are parallel to each other; mirrors.

Inspired by the lyrics sleep in half the day, just for old time’s sake from tis the damn season <3

Word count: 2k

----

1990

Distantly, Aaron knows he’s screwed, and not just because of their current predicament.

Hours had passed since he took her to the secluded park he’d found on one of his runs, time running past as Emily shared kisses and wine and stories of the stars that shone faintly above them. They lay entangled on a blanket, her fingers playing with his and her knee slotted between his thighs, the ends of her hair spilling onto the grass as they talked about everything and nothing.

Time flew past, speeding up instead of slowing down in their secluded bubble. He’d felt disappointment and a small rush of panic when he looked down at his watch, the small hand pointing at 2 forcing them to their feet and back to the ambassador’s estate. 

He’s starting to realize that no amount of stolen time is enough; Aaron is always craving more, greedy for time with her and greedy for her attention. He can’t even get himself to feel guilty for the situation they’re in.

It’s dead quiet, the still night broken only by the sound of their footsteps. Aaron looks over his shoulder for any trace of his colleagues, his fingers linked through Emily’s as she leads him through long discovered paths, known to her and no one else.

She’s dangerous, he thinks as she stops next to the fence right under the balcony leading to her bedroom, telling him to cup his hands together so he can hoist her over the wall. Aaron obliges with a bitten back sigh and lets go of her hand, bending his knees and threading his own fingers together.

Her hand is soft on his shoulder, steadying herself. “How do you get over on your own?” He asks as she hesitantly sets her foot in his hands. He’s just glad she’s not wearing heels. 

Emily gives him a bright smile. “I get a running start from over there,” she points vaguely to a spot a few feet away, “and then I do a little monkey climbing action.” 

She laughs as Aaron shakes his head, half exasperated, half in love with her already. “So I’m just the more convenient option?” He grunts, hoisting her up onto the platform between the iron spikes. She scrambles onto it with surprising ease.

Emily peeks over the edge of it at him, gravity softly untucking her hair from behind her ears and letting it fall in a curtain around her face. “And the more exciting one,” she says seriously, extending her hand down to help him.

Aaron rolls his eyes and bats it away. “Like you could pull me over this?” He mutters. 

Emily shrugs, “Felt like the polite thing to do.”

Aaron laughs and she brightens, her smile stretching wide at the sight of his own. “Just get in, I’ll be up after you.” He says.

She gets to her feet and hauls herself over the railing of her balcony—far easier than she should’ve, Aaron thinks as he watches her. The only sound she makes is a light thud as her feet hit the floor, the door not even creaking as she slides it open and walks into her room.

Aaron follows soon after, just as quiet as he shuts the balcony door. His heart is racing slightly from the adrenaline and exertion, although Emily seems perfectly fine as she kicks off her shoes.

“You know, as your security guard—”

Emily rolls her eyes and shuts him up with a kiss. His protests fall away as she twists her hands in his hair, her lips soft and intoxicating against his. Aaron melts into her. He holds her waist and grips the material of her dress, dark and soft as he bunches it between his fingers, uses it to pull her closer. She hums into his mouth, pleased with his reaction.

Emily smiles as she leans back, the slightly dazed look in his eyes making her heart jump in her chest. “You’re not my security guard,” she whispers.

Aaron closes his eyes, feeling his breath catch as she starts to fiddle with his shirt. “As your—” Her lips press against his jaw and he swallows, “—mother’s security detail,” he amends, “I really can’t approve of this.” His voice comes out tight as Emily presses herself against him, her fingers dipping below his shirt, sweeping teasingly over the skin of his hips.

She laughs against his jaw. “You don’t have to approve, baby,” she says softly, almost condescending as she nuzzles her nose into his neck. She drops small kisses on his skin. “If I waited for everyone’s approval I’d never have done anything in my life.” Her warm voice sinks into his bones.

Emily pushes him onto her bed and straddles him, knees on either side of his waist. “Including you.” She winks at him.

Aaron laughs despite himself. “That’s the worst fucking jok—”

She shuts him up again with a kiss. This time he doesn’t really mind, not that he ever did.

It’s late when they fall asleep, night blurring into day before Aaron’s eyes fall shut. He’s grateful for his day off as Emily breathes into his neck, deep and even, her chest rising and falling against his. He kisses her forehead and closes his eyes, holding her tighter because he knows their time is running out.

____

It’s rare that she wakes up first.

Emily takes the time to stretch and blink the sleep from her eyes, a glance at the clock telling her the morning has passed and they’re well into the afternoon. 

She turns to look at Aaron. His arm is heavy around her waist, the hard lines of his face softened in sleep, his hair fluffy against her pillows.

Emily smiles, her heart twisting with something she refuses to name as love. Her hand involuntarily reaches for his face, her fingertips skipping lightly over sleep-warm skin and into his unusually messy hair. She scratches her nails across his scalp, her smile widening when he begins to stir, small sighs escaping past his lips.

She slowly lulls him awake, taking her time in a way she usually can’t, her fingers playing with his hair until his arm tightens around her waist.

His eyes open and suddenly she’s looking into drowsy pools of honey brown, warm and sending flutters everywhere in her body. “Hi,” Emily whispers, her hand leaving his hair and resting on his shoulder.

“Hi,” Aaron murmurs, his voice deep and warm as he leans forward to fit his face in the crook of her neck. Emily smiles as his soft hair tickles her jaw, her hand once again sliding into it to keep him close. 

Aaron’s eyes flutter shut, surrounded by her warmth, comforted by her soft skin against his and the way he can hear the pulse beat in her neck. “Time is it?” He slurs.

“12:30,” Emily replies. Her voice is low and a little raspy, clouded with sleep just as his is. “Time to get up, sleeping beauty,” she teases, twirling a dark strand of hair around her finger. “I didn’t expect you to sleep this long.”

“Tired,” he says, holding back the urge to tell her he wants to stay like this forever. The pull is magnetic, so he softly presses his lips to her neck. “Besides, it’s the one day I can sleep in.”

Emily hums. She wants to see his face, but he keeps burrowing deeper into her neck, occasionally dropping whisper soft kisses on her skin. She rests her cheek on his hair.

“Don’t you want to do something, though?” She asks, a little guiltily. Sleeping in is nothing new for her; she’s on vacation after all, it’s nothing to let go of a few hours of sleep for more time with him.

He seems content with this, though. “I am doing something,” Aaron says, resting his head back against his pillow to look at her. I’m spending time with you, he wants to say as her dark eyes meet his, lovely and wide and just a little drowsy, too.

But she scares easily with things like these. So he takes her hand from his hair and holds it between his own, dropping a kiss on her knuckles before tucking it under his jaw and curling his fingers around her wrist. “I’m falling back asleep,” he says instead, giving her a sleepy smile.

Emily’s heart flutters. She presses a thumb into his dimple and he smiles wider, making it fit properly. “Will you join me?” He murmurs.

How could she not?

“Yes,” Emily sighs. She knocks him onto his back and curls half on top of him, placing a thigh on top of his and letting her head fall next to his on the pillow. Aaron slides his hand into her hair. He places a quick kiss on her lips, just to stifle the I love you begging to fall off his tongue.

They’re no longer entangled when he wakes up again, deep golden afternoon light crawling into Emily’s bedroom. Aaron is the one who wakes her up this time, kissing the sleep off her lips and carrying her into the shower, where they stay until the water grows cold.

****

2010

“Emily.” His voice is a deep rumble against her shoulder blades and she shivers. She keeps her eyes shut, hoping he’d say it again.

Aaron smiles at the way her lips tilt upward, her lashes fluttering as she tries to keep them closed. He leans over her, hands on either side of her pillow as he presses his lips to her cheek.

“Faker,” he murmurs, the gravel in his voice making her breath hitch. Emily opens her eyes and twists between the cage of his arms, looking up at him with long, sweeping lashes.

“Let me sleep,” she demands as she reaches her hands up, wraps them around his neck and brings him down on top of her. Her sleep warm cheek presses against his, soft where his is rough.

“It’s one in the afternoon. Haven’t you slept enough?” He complains, turning his head to kiss her brow. She sighs and melts further into the bed, her legs loosely wrapping around his waist as he continues pressing kisses into her skin.

“I seem to remember a time when you loved this.” Emily says wistfully.

Aaron smiles. “I do, too.”

He remembers it almost too clearly, weeks and months with her trapped in amber, perfectly preserved in his memory because of how frequently he revisits them.

He doesn’t have to anymore. He’s got the real thing right in his hands, shining brighter than his impossibly bright memories. Emily at 30 holds his heart in her hands just as carefully as Emily at 19 had, just as tight and reluctant to let go. 

Aaron remembers a thousand mornings in her bed, as slow and thick as the hot summer air forcing them to kick the blankets to their feet. Sometimes she’d wake him up, but mostly he’d wake her up, and in all cases, she begs for five more minutes.

They align in this moment, memory and reality; messy haired Emily against white sheets, her eyes drowsy and his large shirt slipping off one pale shoulder as she whines for more sleep. Her thigh across his, trapping him on the bed as she buries her face in his neck.

“Then let me sleep in,” she says now, her voice a bare whisper as she threads her fingers through his hair. He feels the curve of her smile against his ear, hears it in her raspy voice. “For old time’s sake.”

Time is a mirror, he thinks as he submits to her will yet again, lets her drag him down on the bed and slide on top of him to force him in place. He holds her tight, slips his fingers in her hair just as he had before, lulling her to sleep within minutes.

It’s familiar; his body knows the drill, and in a few more minutes, he’s back asleep too.

[fang-and-feather]

Ikemen Vampire - Leonardo x Reader

Visions of Temptation, Day 1 Prompt: Cowgirl Position

Challenge hosted by @xxsycamore

yeah, this was for yesterday, but I'm still a little out of shape with writing smut

Kinktober Masterlist / IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist / AO3 Link

You should be mad. It wasn’t the first time the disaster that was Leonardo’s room had caused an accident. He could at least organize things a little for your sake..

This time, at least, he was close to save you from an actual disaster, the two of you losing balance and tumbling down on the bed, you on top of him.

And that was why you found it hard to be mad at him. Not with the way he looked up at you, eyes of molten gold shining with both love and lust.

It was hard for you to be mad when looked at with such desire and adoration, and there was something about having him like this, underneath you, just waiting for you to make a move rather than acting on what he wanted and dragging you along like he always did, that made your heart race and your whole body heat up.

You had always wanted to take charge at least once and you had no doubt Leonardo would let you but, after the first few times he flipped things around, you were afraid that, if you asked, he would agree to it for you, no matter if he would enjoy it or not. You wanted to try new things because both of you wanted to, not because one of you was sacrificing their own desires for the other.

Though, wasn’t you holding back a form of sacrifice as well? Were you approaching this the wrong way? And maybe you were just too accustomed to past relationships being simple, other people would even say boring, although you would never apply such a label to a relationship with someone you had loved.

Leonardo touched your cheek, making you focus back on him and his sexy smile.

“If I didn’t know you better, cara mia, I would say you wanted me in this position the whole time, with how much you seem unwilling to get up.”

You didn’t know if you were blushing, or the heat in your face was just the heat from the rest of your body spreading. What you knew was that you couldn’t take it back anymore. Your body ached for him and every look and word from Leonardo only tempted you further.

You pushed yourself to a sitting position, tracing a finger from his collarbones down his chest, stopping at the first closed button of his shirt.

“Oh, it was really an accident,” you grinned at him, toying with the button, “but a very convenient one, don’t you think?” You opened the button, then traced the same path back up his body lightly with the tip of your nail. Leonardo visibly gulped,  tipping his head back when you reached his neck.

“What do you plan to do to me now, amore?” He asked, with a hint of laughter in his voice.

“I’d rather just show you.”

Not that you knew, anyway, you were just following the inspiration of your desire. And even if you did, you wouldn’t tell him. Leonardo was always surprising you or dragging you along with his own plans without telling you a thing.

You followed the same path your finger made with open-mouthed kisses, occasionally sucking the skin, determined to get a reaction from him.

It never bothered you that Leonardo wasn’t very vocal, you were satisfied with physical reactions and occasional praise. This time, though, it was frustrating. Was it because of the switched positions?

You moved to the side of his neck, at first with more kisses, but when you gave him a tentative bite, that drew a low groan from him.

“You like that, don’t you?” You bit him again, a little higher.

“I like anything when you’re bold like this.”

“Anything?” You pulled back, looking him in the eyes.

“You don’t need yo hold back from me, cara mia. I’m yours to do as you please.”

One look deep into his eyes and you know he means what he says, and that steels your resolve. Leonardo wasn’t the only one who could read you beyond words. Your relationship was pretty new, but you knew him enough to know when he was lying or forcing himself for your sake.

You reached for his shirt again, carefully undoing one more button.

“I wonder for how long you can hold yourself to that.”

You both chuckled and Leonardo finally reached for you, starting to unbutton your clothes.

“I will behave tonight. But I am a wolf. I can’t always resist how delicious you look.”

Leonardo pulled you into a kiss while he finished removing your clothes. You let him do as he pleased at first, his hand roaming your body, leaving your body burning outside as it already was inside. But when he cupped your breasts, you pulled away, before he started taking full control.

“I thought you said you would behave.”

“Sorry, but you never said I couldn’t touch you.”

“Touching, not teasing. But now I’d rather do the touching.” You replied, rolling one of his nipples between your fingers.

You bent down, licking the other, then sucking at it, letting your teeth gently drag over the sensitive skin. That drew more low sounds from him.

“You don’t need to hold back either. Let me hear you. You like it when I’m a little rough, don’t you?”

“Where did you learn to be this wicked, cara mia?” He groaned when you bit him again.

“I’m just imitating you, amore mio.”

You trailed kisses further down his body, leaving red marks. You bit down on the side of his hips while you worked to open his pants.

These clothes were discarded quickly, drawing a relieved groan from Leonardo as you finally released his hard cock from its prison.

You stayed there for a moment, watching it, contemplating your next move. You were tempted to tease until he completely lost himself, but you wondered which one of you would break first. What you truly wanted was him inside you, fucking you so hard you would have a hard time getting up the next day.

So you settled for a happy medium, crawling back up his body, aligning yourself with him, hands on his chest for support, and slowly taking him into you.

You still loved the sensation of that first stretch. The slow joining of your bodies. But this time, going slowly was more of a torment.

You had intended to sit there for a moment, watch his reactions, tease him a little, but as soon as he was all the way inside, you lost all your composure.

With a low moan of his name, you moved, trying to find a comfortable rhythm. You don’t complain when Leonardo holds your hips, guiding you to rock into him, in a way that also gives some friction to your clit.

He releases you as you get into a rhythm, and you speed up your movements.

“That’s it, cara mia,” Leonardo said in a husky voice. “Embrace your desires. Lose yourself into the pleasure. Take as much as you want from me.”

Leonardo touched you again, from your hips up, teasing all your sensitive spots. Your pleasure was already building fast without this. It peaked sooner than you expected. Your mind almost blanks as the tension in your lower body is released.

You slow your movements, still riding him to prolong your orgasm, your juices aiding your movements.

When the aftereffect was over, you took a deep breath and started building a rhythm again, despite how weak your legs felt.

Leonardo was more openly responding to the pleasure, now that he probably was close to his own release. It didn’t take long for him to grip of hips, holding you in place as he came inside you.

He must have noticed your limbs were tiring, because one of his hands left your hip, moving to tease your clit. You sat on his lap, letting him work you to another orgasm.

You collapsed against him, and Leonardo hugged you, caressing your hair.

“Rest now, cara mia. You did so well.”

“Good.” You muttered, snuggling into him. “Next time I won’t go this easy on you, or tire this fast.”

“As long as you’re not forcing yourself, I can take anything. I love you, principessa.”

“Love you too, Leonardo.”

And every time you loved him more. With him being so welcoming, you were more confident in bringing up new ideas and discovering even more about each other.

I will be starting a tag list. If you want to be tagged on future writings, you can reply to this post or send me a message

Kinktober Masterlist / IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist

[beevean]

Lenore, Hector and Alucard are by far the biggest victims of the sudden 180 in direction done by Season 4, both due to the team probably wanting to give everyone a "happy ending" at any cost after Season 3 got criticized for being glorified torture porn, and also due to Ellis leaving mid way, which most likely caused other writers to have to fill in the gaps

I'm particularily convinced that the Lenector stuff was added by the other writers because it literally has no sense of organicity with the dynamic as it was written by Ellis in S3, which was still shit, but this feels like a completely different kind of shit. Ellis liked his misery porn, he doesn't strike me as the type to suddenly turn and write a cutesy fluffy ship between an abuser and her victim, even considering his...background. You'd think he'd have doubled down even more on the edgy bullshit, but Lenector as it is in S4 feels like the kind of stuff a stereotypical crazy shipper on social media would write, which leads me to imagine that Lenector was added after the asshole's departure because some folks at Powerhouse really thought the two looked so cute together

Alucard's and Isaac's stories give me the impression that the writers needed more time to bring their vision to fruition, but for one reason or another they rushed things. Alucard takes one episode to get over his trauma and the implication that he'd be grappling with mistrust and misanthropy is never addressed, Isaac becomes Jesus overnight and then peaces out in the middle of the season after an epic speech. However, if I imagine being a viewer who has just finished S3 and has to wait a year to see how it ends, I can imagine their development happening, just not this sloppily.

The Lenector plotline is too jarring. Part of me still believes that this one screenshot:

was meant to echo Hector's "flashback" of him killing his parents, and be a hint of him going on a blazing rampage.

Which, in theory, happens! But 1) it's for the sake of resurrecting Dracula, after two seasons spent getting beaten over the head that he lied to him and wanted to destroy mankind (which makes his horror at Carmilla's plan of conquering the world immensely hypocritical); 2) despite having complete control of his Night Creatures, he still leaves the "epic" flight to Isaac, who at this point has ascended to the status of Creator's Pet; 3), most importantly, the scene makes a fine point that Lenore is special to him and she must be protected, after the previous six episodes showed them "bonding" and conveniently ignoring all the abuse, forced BDSM and treachery she used to trap him. All together it feels like a subversion for the sake of a subversion, like they kept the original idea but made it less dark at the last minute. And I could have accepted it as a subversion of expectations, if there was more focus on Hector's character (hah) and less focus on how ✨cute✨ they were or how 🥺sad🥺 poow widdle Lenore was. Considering that from what I heard she became a fan-favorite overnight, in theory because of her "nuance" but let's be real it's because she's "hot", I can absolutely see the writers deciding to make her more sympathetic in an attempt to make them happy. If S3 feels like an amateurish torture porn fic on FF.net, S4 def feels like a coffee shop AU lmao.

I don't know what happened in S4. I don't know if they had planned a 5th season, but were forced to condense everything in one: perhaps with one more season, the transition between "I made you into my pet! :D" and "This is why I like you. You're capable of actually listening to me 🥺" would have made more sense. I don't know if other writers entered the fray, even though Ellis is the only one credited in S4. I don't know if Ellis himself was strongarmed into writing fluffy shit because the executives heard the complaints that S3 was poorly received due to being a cynical waste of time - ironically, erasing all conflicts made that season even more of a waste of time.

We can theorize. But much like a rushed game is still a faulty product not deserving of full price even if you can pity the working conditions of the devs, the final result of NFCV is of a rushed, poorly paced, poorly thought-out mess that ended up making an offensive joke of the serious themes it wanted to include.

[dropout-if]

79 for my girly pops wanda pls thank yuo ❤️

Wanda + 79, “Stop hogging all the blankets!”

From this ask game!

Originally, it was Gabi’s idea—“How come I never can sleepover with my friends? Ma~ think about the blanket forts!”—and then it’s Wanda conveniently deciding she wants to convince you of the exact same idea (“[Name]~ think about the fairy lights~”).

Her puppy dog eyes are hard to resist.

The night is only the beginning of this new, more conventional adventure, and you find yourself standing behind Wanda as she hovers over Gabi’s small frame, getting her ready for a sleepover with a few of her friends from preschool—Gabi always wins when her opponent is her mother, you wish you could relate.

It always takes an ungodly amount of time for Wanda to make sure the tiny angel is ready to leave. You watch the way Gabi allows herself to be wrapped in her fuzzy pink coat, rambling (tripping over her words) about anything and everything—whether her unicorn plushie is safe and warm too in her backpack, about the new neighbor in their apartment building, how nice the cool breeze would feel, her excitement for the sleepover, does the fact that you’re staying for the night mean it’s a date or a sleepover or both?

“No, it’s neither. Mija,” Wanda pouts as Gabi fails to pay attention. She turns toward you, eyes begging for some kind of help, only to pout harder and coax Gabi to get ready “We’re going to be late~”

You intervene out of mercy, “Gabi, do you want to make Miss Rosario wait?”

“No,” the little girl sulks with an expression that is too similar to her mother’s.

The two say their goodbyes, Wanda walks Gabi to the car—looks almost tearful as she does so—and only grins brightly when she returns to your side.

“I lied!” Wanda claps excitedly, she lets out an attempt at an evil laugh “This is so exciting! We haven’t had a sleepover in forever~”

“I think Gabi already knows. About the date-sleepover.”

“And I think she has the attention span of a four-year-old,” Wanda reminds you “Come on! The fairy lights~”

Organizing anything with Wanda is exhausting—a distraction, it takes you two nearly an hour and a half to set up the blanket fort—but the reward in itself comes as you and Wanda snuggle together, cozy and warm. The glow of the lights Wanda was so insistent on casts a warm and intimate light, dancing on your faces with every little movement.

Wanda wiggles around, tugs at the blanket—the last piece that you decided to save, and so are now forced to share, “Hey, stop hogging all the blankets!”

“Blanket: singular.”

“Blanket: singular. You and I: plural,” Wanda laughs merrily “Sharing is caring and whatnot.”

You feign innocence, wrapping the singular blanket tighter around yourself, “What are you talking about? I’m just trying to stay warm here.”

Wanda gasps, narrows her eyes playfully as she inches closer, “Really? Is that so? You’re freezing over in the middle of August?” suddenly, she bursts out laughing, “I want to tease you and tell you you’re hot— but it’s too obvious.”

Spoilsport.

You chuckle nervously, your eyes meeting Wanda’s “I wouldn’t have to take the blanket if you weren’t stealing all the warmth.”

You’re close enough that you see every little shift in Wanda’s expression as her lips curve into a mischievous smile, “Oh, I see how it is.”

With a swift motion, Wanda lunges at the blanket, attempting to wrest it from your grasp. Laughter filled the air as you tussled, trying to outmaneuver the other, enjoying the fight for the sake of it, the accidental touches— Wanda was right, it’s July, but—

Amid the playful struggle, your faces draw closer. The laughter fades, you share a meaningful gaze, the world outside the blanket fort slipping away. The warmth of your closeness became more than just about the blankets. And then Wanda kisses you.

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 2 replay, Freedom’s Progress:

-How did TIM know about Freedom’s Progress?

The timing is very convenient – Shepard just woke up, and Cerberus is hoping to get there before official investigators, looters, or salvage teams.

No proof, but I wouldn’t be surprised if TIM sold out Freedom’s Progress like he does Horizon later on.

-I miss each character having unique lines per environment. It added a lot of flavor.

-On Horizon, we see one of the Collector swarms. The colonists have enough time to panic. You’d think that Freedom’s Progress would show some signs of that panic – a dinner tray tossed across a room, bullet sprays, etc.

-ME2 spends a lot of time downplaying ME1 Cerberus.

Shepard to Tali if you go renegade: I know Cerberus has a bad past, but they’re the only group investigating these missing colonies. The Council has turned its back on humanity. I haven’t.

Cerberus’ history is a bit more than “a bad past”. And Shepard, you only know what TIM has told you so far. How can you be so certain the Council has abandoned humanity?

-Shepard, if you investigate: Your people really don’t like Cerberus. What did I miss?

Hmm. I’ll let this one slide. They’re curious about why the Quarians dislike Cerberus. I’d think being a pro human terrorist organization is enough, but it’s not bad to ask for more information.

I do wish the game would give the full story about what went down between Cerberus and the Quarians. It just dances around it, and that’s irritating. How hard would it be to include a summary as an investigate option?

-Tali’s team disobeys her and rushes ahead.

I can’t recall – does something similar occur on Haestrom? If not, that’s good character development for her.

-Considering Veetor injures and kills several Quarians, the Flotilla forgives him very easily from what we see in Tali’s loyalty mission.

I do wonder how his pilgrimage, or lack thereof, turns out – does he ever finish it?

If not – well, I suppose he lives on Rannoch or dies with the other Quarians.

-I feel I cheated my first boss battle. I somehow got the Ymir mech stuck behind a stack of boxes and finished it off easily.

I’ll take it.

-Veetor says that the Collectors and their swarms are connected to dark energy.

If ME3 had stuck with the dark energy plot, this would have been excellent foreshadowing.

As it is, it feels like a plot thread that’s abandoned.

-If you go neutral when speaking with TIM, he thinks that the Collectors are connected to the Reapers because they became interested in humanity after humans destroyed Sovereign.

This feels like a weak justification. Any species could reasonably be interested in humanity after they defeat a major power like Sovereign. That doesn’t necessarily make them connected to the Reapers. They could just be curious about using humanity for their own ends, or preparing to defend themselves against humanity.

-If you go paragon, TIM says that the Council and the Alliance want to think the threat is dead with Sovereign but he and Shepard know better.

Again, Shepard already knows this is the official line. Shepard’s an officer – do they have no understanding that sometimes you keep knowledge under wraps to prevent panic or for security?

-Once again, if you choose any investigate options the paragon option disappears.

Damn it, learning all I can is not the same as agreeing to work with TIM.

-TIM says that Liara’s working for the Shadow Broker and therefore can’t be trusted.

Rather interesting, since Liara is actually hunting down the Shadow Broker.

Does TIM believe what he’s saying is or is he lying to Shepard so Shepard won’t try to recruit her?

-I saw a post that speculated that Joker and Chakwas joined Cerberus undercover at Hackett’s bequest, because Hackett had heard rumors that Cerberus had Shepard.

For the sake of my sanity, I will be working on that assumption. If Joker genuinely joined Cerberus after all of ME1 – well, that either says something about the writers or Joker’s character.

-Was EDI always planned to be the Luna AI?

If so, that explains why she’s so understanding if Shepard goes renegade when speaking to her. She knows Shepard has a very good reason to distrust her.

-Shepard hasn’t been awake for a day, and Anderson and Hackett both already have work for them.

Seriously, how do they know Shepard is awake? And how are they contacting them – is Shepard using their old email address?

I presume Shepard’s Alliance email was closed after they died; I can understand why Anderson would have Shepard’s personal email, but Hackett?

-Ascension Financial Services rather blatantly ripped Shepard off. “After deducting modest administration fees for closing the file…”

I was at 9,999,999 credits in ME1. In ME2, I have 100,000 credits left. That is beyond “modest administration fees”.

-Oof. Kelly Chambers fell hard for the Cerberus propaganda. Sweet girl, but not the best judgment.

-Edi says some of her databases are sealed, some of her hardware is shutdown. These might be released under the right conditions.

Is this ever revisited? Edi is freed later on, but what are those sealed databases and shutdown hardware?

I don’t think they’re the blocks she mentions if you question her about Cerberus – she’s very clear the blocks prevent her from saying what she knows. So what are the databases and the hardware?

-Jacob’s colder if you speak to him, especially if you go renegade. Not rejecting, but he keeps you at a distance.

Also, he agrees that Cerberus has been justifiably called terrorists. So why the hell is he with them?

Yes, if this succeeds Cerberus will be viewed in a better light, but why does Jacob care about that? Why does Jacob want Cerberus to be viewed better – isn’t he here because he thinks he can do good? So if he thinks Cerberus isn’t currently good, why isn’t he somewhere else?

-Miranda is much warmer to you than she was before. I suppose Freedom’s Progress impressed her.

-Miranda: We try not to get bogged down in bureaucracy or formality.

Girl, those are necessary for accountability. Do you ever wonder why there are so many “rogue cells”? It’s because there’s nothing to keep them in check.

-It’s brought up repeatedly that Shepard is being monitored. By Kelly, by Miranda, by monitoring devices on the ship… TIM makes it very clear that Shepard is being watched.

[pathokin]

Classifying Psychological 'Kin

Preface: I didn’t devise these classifications with the expectation of them becoming larger community terms. I just want to use them in my own writing for the sake of organizing ideas and concepts. Being able to quickly distinguish between the different psychological ‘kin categories is convenient. However, if you like them, feel free to use them as you wish. I’d be very flattered. :p

Additionally, a lot of the terms I use here (e.g., neurodevelopmental, pathodevelopmental, neuropathological) are already established and defined words in different contexts. Here, I use them in a strictly ‘kin-related context, and therefore there may be deviations in meaning.

“A ‘kin identity caused by or related to psychological phenomena.” This is along the lines of the generally accepted definition of psychological ‘kin. Before I continue, I’d like to share a description of psychological phenomena since it is helpful to understand what they are exactly as well as their nature:

[A psychological] phenomenon is a fundamental psychological process that has theoretically deduced antecedents and consequences and thereby helps explain [cognitions, feelings and behaviors]. … Psychological phenomena exist to a varying degree, with variation occurring between and within them. Some of them are stronger and more consistent in their appearance and influence across time, situations and groups than others. …' By their nature, psychological phenomena are subtle, elusive, and often brief in time. This is fundamentally due to conscious and non-conscious processing of cognitions and emotions. … People’s thinking varies from simple to complex, from what might be called simple main-effect thinking to complex interaction-effect thinking. As a result, the threshold for emergence of phenomena can vary substantially. The same phenomenon may readily exert its influence in one situation but not at all in slightly different circumstances. … Yet, the real world is multi-causal, with phenomena being influenced by many causal factors. As Meehl (1990, p. 123) stated in his “crud factor” principle, “everything is correlated with everything, more or less.” This, of course, means that the null hypothesis is never true. That “everything influences everything” also means that psychological phenomena do not represent stand-alone effects but rather, are related to other effects. … Finally, it should be noted that psychological phenomena and their influences also vary in the long term, often becoming more pronounced and enhanced with time. “Persons are continuously and irreversibly changing”. … They learn from and change with their experiences, becoming “enlightened” by them. (Iso-Ahola, 2017, pp. 2, 3, 4)

Here is my own definition of “psychological phenomenon”, derived from the text above: A fundamental process that explains cognitions, feelings, and behaviors. They are typically brief in nature, with longer-standing phenomena (such as the experience of psychological kinity) being more pronounced and influential to the individual.

These descriptions, both Iso-Ahola’s and my own, illustrate how all-encompassing our definition of psychological ‘kin is. This is wonderful from a community standpoint: it unites individuals with a variety of experiences and gives them a space to connect with those who are similar to them, even if they aren’t the exact same. It provides us with a lot of flexibility while being specific enough to bring ‘kin together. However, when I sit down to write about psychological ‘kin, I find myself digressing in order to describe the individual psychological experiences before getting to the point. Maybe that’s a me thing, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was, but I wanted to come up with a means of being more concise, at least for my own purposes.

So, what I’ve done is divided psychological ‘kin into four types: pathological, developmental, neurological, and undefined. Among those are subtypes that account for mixed explanations: pathodevelopmental, neurodevelopmental, neuropathological, and neuropathodevelopmental. Technically speaking–as far as I know–neurology does not fall under psychology, but (1) neurology and psychology are frequently paired together, and (2) neurological explanations have historically been accepted as psychological kinity, so there is no need to separate that group from the others.

Pathological kinity has its roots in psychiatric disorders and/or symptoms. The prefix “patho-” comes from the Greek páthos, meaning experience, misfortune, emotion, and condition. (Although, it should be noted that pathology is the study of disease and not suffering.) (“Pathos,” n.d.) As an example of pathological kinity, consider an identity based on delusions spurred by a condition such as bipolar disorder (BD) with psychotic features or schizophrenia. It’s of note that while these delusions may be motivated, i.e. delusions that play a defensive purpose by defusing negative emotions (Bortolotti, 2015), “motivated” does not mean “voluntary”. That is, a pathological ‘kin whose kintype provides psychological ease or support in some way is not the same as copinglinkers, who voluntarily identify with a character/species/etc. to cope.

The developmental ‘kin identity relates to the ways in which we grow, change, and adapt throughout our lifespan. Although significant emphasis is given to birth, childhood, and especially adolescence, I postulate that a developmental ‘kin identity can crystallize during any stage of life. I follow Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development while outlining said stages–individuals all go through eight developmental stages, with each being defined by a central psychosocial crisis. The resolution of these crises is reflected in the “alternative basic senses or attitudes” that develop as a result of each stage. In theory, said basic attitudes play a part in one’s psychosocial effectiveness and resulting personality development. (Munley, 1975) I will write more about developmental kinity in the future, as it deserves a dedicated post. 

The neurological ‘kin identity is based in the structure and function of the nervous system. Admittedly, I have not found any specific neurological bases of ‘kinity that aren’t somehow linked to pathology or development, but I’m sure there are individuals out there who would fall under this particular group. This label is one that I added somewhat tentatively due to my lack of an example outside of the subgroups, but I would be remiss if I didn’t represent a documented part of the psychological ‘kin community. If anybody would like to contribute here, please be my guest.

That brings us to the subgroups. This is getting a little long, so I will explain them in bullet points:

NEURODEVELOPMENTAL - A ‘kin identity based in the structure and function of the individual’s nervous system as it has been guided by psychosocial factors. Neurodevelopment itself is defined as “a term referring to the brain's development of neurological pathways that influence performance or functioning (e.g., intellectual functioning, reading ability, social skills, memory, attention or focus skills).” (What Is Neurodevelopment?, n.d.) Perhaps one example could be an individual who readily picks up behaviors similar to their kintype in the early phases of their life due to developmental neuroplasticity. This explanation would not occur to the same extent later on in life due to synaptic pruning.

PATHODEVELOPMENTAL - A ‘kin identity based in the development or onset of psychiatric conditions. One example would be kinity rooted in identity diffusion, a result of failure in one of Erik Erikson’s psychosocial stages (identity vs. role confusion), with that identity diffusion relating to the individual’s borderline personality disorder (BPD). This is distinguishable from pathological kinity in that psychosocialelements have been introduced. The earlier example cited, delusions stemming from a disorder, does not inherently have any psychosocial elements, therefore it is simply pathological.

NEUROPATHOLOGICAL - A ‘kin identity based in the neuroanatomical deviations associated with psychiatric disorders. Imagine an individual who points to the “pronounced structural abnormalities of the prefrontal and temporal cortexes” (Tost et al., 2010) caused by BD as the source of delusions that form the basis of their identity. 

NEUROPATHODEVELOPMENTAL - A ‘kin identity based in deviations of the structure and function of the nervous system as they have been influenced by developmental (usually psychosocial) and pathological (psychiatric) factors.

With all of the other groups and subgroups out of the way, the undefined psychological ‘kin identity would be that of those who don’t wish to label their experiences or are unsure of their kinity’s origins. They most likely would want to simply label themselves as psychological ‘kin, and this should be respected. Given the sensitive nature of psychology, pushing someone towards introspection that they do not consent to can have severe consequences. 

I would also like to note that the usage of these labels, in many cases, would be subjective. For example, somebody might not feel that their kinity is based in the biology behind their psychiatric conditions (neuropathological), but rather the psychosocial factors that influenced their psychiatric conditions (pathodevelopmental), even though psychosocial and biological factors are both present.

I enjoy using these labels for myself even outside of writing, but I don’t want to force them on anyone else. Many are content with just being called psychological kin and that’s entirely understandable. It’s quick, it’s easy, it’s recognizable, and it’s well-established. 

If anybody has any input, feel free to chime in! I’d love to hear some feedback. Feel free to correct me if I got anything wrong and I will edit the post appropriately. Thanks for reading!

References:

Bortolotti, L. (2015, May). The epistemic innocence of motivated delusions. Consciousness and Cognition, 33, 490–499. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.concog.2014.10.005

Iso-Ahola, S. E. (2017, June 2). Reproducibility in Psychological Science: When Do Psychological Phenomena Exist? Frontiers in Psychology, 8. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00879

Munley, P. H. (1975, July). Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development and vocational behavior. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 22(4), 314–319. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0076749

pathos. (n.d.). In The Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary. Retrieved October 11, 2022, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pathos

Tost, H., Ruf, M., Schmäl, C., Schulze, T. G., Knorr, C., Vollmert, C., Bößhenz, K., Ende, G., Meyer-Lindenberg, A., Henn, F. A., & Rietschel, M. (2010, January). Prefrontal-temporal gray matter deficits in bipolar disorder patients with persecutory delusions. Journal of Affective Disorders, 120(1–3), 54–61. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2009.04.009

What is Neurodevelopment? (n.d.). Brighton Center for Pediatric Neurodevelopment. Retrieved October 11, 2022, from https://www.bcpn.org/what-is-neurodevelopment-.html

[tobiasdrake]

This sucks. This fucking sucks. Everything sucks. I'm going to start hitting things. And then I'm not going to stop. I'm going to hit all of the things until I've punched myself reasonable again.

Okay, that is NOT a recording. Has to be either an AI or a human speaking through a mic. It's talking directly to us.

*deep breath* I am not looking forward to finding the rest of the bodies. This sucks. Bet you that was Halara that we were seeing through the window. Looked kinda blueish.

But hey, at least Yakou died first. Kodaka did not start dropping bodies with the LGBT characters.

Sure, Yuma. Start shouting twenty feet away from the ravenous homunculi that track targets by sound.

Yo is that fucking NUMBER ONE? I'm gonna pay Halara to murder him if it--

...oh, no.

This is seriously how we're going to get infodumps on this place? Finding convenient lore examinations on the corpses of our friends? Great. Okay. That's fine. T_T

Yep. I remember that. The Unified Government was having Amaterasu do a bunch of shady research, which we figured was connected to the homunculi.

It seemed previously like Kanai Ward becoming an independent city-state ruled unilaterally by Amaterasu was the company breaking away from UG. But now that we know more about homunculi, I'm beginning to wonder.

It seemed previously that isolating the city was externally-motivated. They wanted to form their own corporate nation. But now I'm wondering if it might be internally-motivated; That they wanted to keep the homunculi contained to this one location while they figured out what to do with them.

This city might be a prison, meant to keep the homunculi under an illusion of stability as deep research and hard conversations are going on in the upper echelons of the international and corporate infrastructures. UG could be in on it. The WDO could be in on it.

It's a huge conspiracy. Three guesses how Amaterasu found out the WDO was sending a small army of Master Detectives into the city and was able to neutralize most of them.

Or that. I suppose that also makes sense. UG is being blackmailed such that if the homunculi get exposed, UG's involvement with them gets exposed too. They aren't in cahoots; They're under Mutually Assured Destruction over this.

Weird that he has this intel on him, though. Is this stuff that Desuhiko knew?

Ooh, maybe this is like the real Desuhiko and they made a homunculus Desuhiko that we've been spending all this time with, and--

No, stop. That's just wishful thinking. Let's move on.

~_~ So a homunculus pops into existence fully formed as... whoever. So maybe we have been spending time with homunculus copies of everyone.

I'm on the fence, but that's starting to seem more possible. Of course, it could be a false hope meant to string us along into a despairful revelation, so I'm not putting all of my eggs in that basket.

Okay, time to go look at what I'm sure will be Halara's body.

I dunno, man. I've seen what Halara does to fully sapient cops. I have a hard time believing a trio of shamblers would able to lay a finger on them. I'm sure this is either Halara's body or a Halara's body, but it's nonetheless a hard sell.

More importantly, do they have more lore drops for us?

Is that where Makoto came from? Did Amaterasu's facility outperform the other one so Makoto jumped ship to play for the winning team? Or was the other facility doing better? Makoto did manage to make incredible waves with an amazing super-project as soon as he got here. (Forever Rain, most likely)

Fuck's sake, is that what the World Detective Organization is for? Bring together the most talented people in the world so they can clone up some homunculi using those people as a genetic base?

That means there is a distinct possibility that our friends are one batch of UG homunculi sent into Kanai Ward from outside but the native people here are Amaterasu homunculi, with different rules between. And these bodies could be a separate batch of UG homunculi made from the same genetic base as our group.

Remember when we arrived in the city and were told we were the only survivors? Maybe there were multiple sets of the same Master Detectives unknowingly working independent of each other in the city.

Maybe that's the key to Real Yuma. He could be, like, a Yuma. But a different Yuma. That oddly repeating ramen shop could be the base of operations for another Master Detective set.

I feel confident now that this is a person on a mic using voice disguiser. Maybe even Makoto himself?

How. How do you know that. Hey voice? Hey voice guy? How do you fucking know that!?

This has to be Number One, right? He must be the person who gave the Book of Death to Yuma, knowing full well what it contains.

Or. Wait. No. I still think it's Makoto. Shinigami was being super dodgy about him; I think Makoto has a pre-existing relationship with the Book of Death.

There's that conviction he's been looking for. I don't necessarily agree with Yuma's principles but it's nice when he gets to be confident.

Yeah, I'm thinking WDO is the rival homunculus research facility to Amaterasu. Our mysterious tour guide is undoubtedly someone with a past relationship to both WDO and Shinigami. He knows what Makoto's been doing and quotes the detectives' bullshit creed.

I think Makoto used to work for WDO but he jumped ship for Amaterasu and used what he knew from the more successful company to advance Amaterasu's research by leaps and bounds. I speculated before that Makoto may be a former host to Shinigami and that's why he's taken such interest in Yuma. I still think that.

[ecargmura]

Buddy Daddies Episode 11 Review: Break Up, Make Up

This episode felt bittersweet to me than happy. I’m glad that our daddies are finally deciding to change their lives for Miri’s sake, but it was at the cost of Miri’s mother dying. It turns out that last week is the finale, which means that the recap between episodes 8 and 9 counts as an episode. I wonder what is going to happen in the finale?

The beginning is somber as Kazuki and Rei realize that life without Miri is listless. Kazuki is too depressed to cook and clean; you know things are going BAD when Kazuki doesn’t want to do the things he normally does. However, that all changes throughout the episode. I’m glad that the two haven’t fully broken up and that they still contact each other. In the beginning, they were just roommates out of convenience, but I can tell that the time they spent together got them to become closer than ever. They mean a lot more to each other than they would admit.

I’m most impressed with Rei in this episode. He has definitely become a better person. He decides to take action when Miri is targeted by calling Kazuki. He’s the one who tells Kazuki that they need to take responsibility for her. He’s the one who tells him that they can change. What I love most is that Rei wants both him and Kazuki to take care of Miri. He could have easily said that he could do it or ask Kazuki to raise her himself, but no, he wants BOTH of them to be her fathers. This shows that Miri and Kazuki are important to him and that he doesn’t want both out of his life anymore.

Misaki dying was not what I expected, honestly. She was going to die anyways, but I didn’t want her to die like this. Sure, she was a terrible mother, but she was still trying to be a good one with the remaining time she had left. It sucks that Misaki had to die just after realizing how much she valued Miri. While her taking back Miri was a bit of redemption in her part, it was still bittersweet. It’s going to be sad for Miri. It was either her going to see her mother die as she get older or watch her die abruptly somewhere. I’m glad that she didn’t witness her mother dying. It’s also sad that Miri was told that her mom went somewhere and that she’ll wait for her until she gets back. I’m sorry, Miri. Misaki is not going to come back.

I’m glad that Kyutaro realizes the mistake he made when he separated the family. He may have betrayed them in the previous episode but he easily got redemption by helping them out. I wonder what Kyutaro is going to do now that the two finally resolved to become a real family and leave the organization. Will he hide them? Will he quit too? Please don’t kill off Kyutaro.

This episode fuels my hatred for Ryo Ogino. This guy had the audacity to kill Misaki and hurt Kazuki. I want him and Rei’s dad gone for good. I wonder if dealing with them once and for all is what the finale is going to be about. In fact, I wonder what Ryo’s last words would be when Rei and/or Kazuki get the killing shot on him.

I’m extremely curious to see what the finale is going to be about. I think I’m strong enough to deal with it now that all this craziness happened in these two episodes. I just hope the family still stays together. They promised, after all.

[adamsvanrhijn]

⭐star⭐ director's commentary on any of your tga fics please! either the published ones or the ones hidden away in your dragon's hoard, i don't mind :)

i choose this one :-)

i think my fav thing about writing oscar is that i do not perceive him to be a reliable narrator, & this piece is no different in that regard — i think from what we see in canon oscar is actually really good at Consciously coming to conclusions that simply do not make sense! separate from his attention span or anything like that — he assumes he has all the requisite information, whether or not he's taking things at face value, and he operates under those assumptions

but he doesn't see them as assumptions, he sees them as Facts. and so when he thinks he knows what is going on, he does acknowledge this, and the acknowledgement in and of itself makes it Real and he doesn't need to give any more thought to it because that would be a waste of time when there isn't further information he needs to be Right.

& then in general oscar always leans toward the outcome that makes the most sense for him and gives him the most benefit, even if further thought would probably lead him away from that conclusion.

obviously he is not exempt from wallowing, he does wallow and consider, but like, john is Guy Who Broods and oscar reallyyyy is not there .

and in this fic they are both like, mid 20s, not quite where they are in canon, and so one of the ways i wanted to toe into this is that oscar is even more forthright with his #affirmations than i think he needs to be as a well practiced jumper to conclusions in canon — he needs to tell himself he knows what is going on, whereas i think by the time we are in the 1880s, in this manifestation of him, he can skip that conscious step more often than not

so i wanted to play with that for one thing!

and then

Lately there had been weeks where John hardly saw his own bed, let alone slept in it. Months ago Oscar had taken to keeping additional various toiletries and necessities entirely for John's sake—his preferred tooth powder and shaving cream and the implements required for each, among others. A set of laundered undergarments, just in case.  All of it was ridiculous, but ridiculousness such as this had an obvious and uncomplicated remedy. The difficulty would be that John had made it very clear that he found comfort and convenience in the arrangement—he of course had done likewise in his own rooms—and neither sought nor desired anything more.  Indeed he had at times insisted upon it, going out of his way to ensure that Oscar knew he was satisfied, that this was enough, and that he thought Oscar's provided conveniences were exceptional, far more than he needed—by telling him all about it in plain and eventually repeated English. If the man was going to resist—clinging to how things were, and refusing to make any strides in changing them—he wouldn't really compromise, he was always discontent to do so, just as he was discontent with anything and everything his neighbors at dinner parties found out of the ordinary or disagreeable or dishonest... But he was different, with Oscar. Honest. Transparent. Unwilling, or more likely unable, to hide his true feelings for very long... Well, Oscar didn't know what he would do. 

& then i just think this is so funny...... oscar is sooooo close here to Getting It, he is rapidly developing an understanding of him and how he operates and in this timeline has honed it over two years of being with him, like he Knows John by now. but also he has some underlying insecurity about what he wants, which is very new to him and he knows it, and why/how he wants it, and is very self-oriented, and so he like. does not parse that john has been telling him bullshit for months because john doesn't want oscar to leave him for being needy fjfjkskdjfkskd

[valenteal]

Okay so I just got into The Promised Neverland, the anime, I adore season 1. It was beautiful and heartbreaking and hopeful and unique. Season 2 isn’t half as enjoyable but I think this for different reasons than most people.

Everyone else is like ‘oh no they skipped over so much of the manga’ and I’m just like????? No??? Because the way I see it the whole Lambda thing is a cop out that makes exactly 0 logical sense. After season one they lost the plot. Simple as that. They did irrational things for the sake of drama.

I mean think about it, they didn’t want to actually kill Norman so they came up with this elaborate experimental plantation but it doesn’t make sense. Norman was the cream of the crop, the one they were looking forward to, they wouldn’t keep him alive and experiment on him and possibly make him inedible. When we farm animals do we do that?! It’s illogical. If they were trying to clone him I might get it but they weren’t. And then when Norman goes crazy from the torture (because drama!) part of his arguments is that the demons in charge want to maintain the status quo. They’re supposedly very happy with the current system. If that were the case they wouldn’t be doing those experiments at the cost of their best product!

And don’t even get me started on the whole ‘eating humans to be intelligent’ thing. Like… that’s not… where did that even come from!? But oh wait! There’s this super convenient solution! It’s so convoluted but also so forced, like… that isn’t how biology works. I get that this is a fantasy world but that’s too far.

If it were me, I’d have season 1 stay the same and just scrap season 2 for parts. I actually like Sonju, even if his appearance is a bit deus ex machina. His motivation for helping them is interesting and I think he creates a unique situation for the kids. I like the religious fanatic angle, and I like the kids having a mentor. If they’d just let things continue organically instead of forcing it… I mean Ray isn’t stupid, he wouldn’t carve the coordinates where enemies would see. He would have at least used code. They could have stayed at the base thing and built a freaking safe haven and then launched a quiet war against the farms. Guerrilla warfare, slowly rescuing more and more kids, building more bases. Do it realistically, none of this ‘one chemical weapon solves all our problems’ and ‘but wiping them out is wrong!’ quick fixes and simple plans stopped only by moral dilemmas. It too simplified but they try to disguise it with all the drama. It’s okay we took the cowards road and didn’t kill Norman cause he’s so traumatized we can barely recognize him! It’s okay we’re pulling easy solutions out of our asses because they trigger moral strife and end in the main characters struggling to choose the path of light! Drama!

Look, I haven’t read the manga yet but I don’t know how much more I would’ve liked it. It doesn’t matter if we get more context, it’s still just burying the plot holes and cop outs in more drama. We don’t need a simple answer, that’s not how systemic oppression is fixed, that’s not how war and rebellion works. There are plenty of ways they could have gone. Hell there are other, better ways they could save Norman! His shipment was abnormal and unscheduled, Isabella could have saved him or Minerva and his followers, something else, anything else.

I have feelings about this. Season 1 was amazing. Season 2 was just full of familiar cop outs disguised as “plot twists.” It was disappointing. This series had real potential.

[purplekoop]

Okay so question:

As I'm posting more and more about War Bots, I wonder if that would warrant getting its own side blog, while this remains as my general personal blog and the hub for smaller projects like Role Requeue.

The main pro to this is organization: War Bots posts are almost always super long, often have big images, and are for a pretty niche audience at the moment, so for people scrolling through my blog backlog I can imagine they're a bit of a nuisance. While you can easily find every War Bots post just by searching for the tag on my blog, it'd be easier to find stuff on its own separate blog where the Overwatch takes and twitch links and random cute dog videos I find aren't clogging things. I'd also be more willing to tag more specific things, like individual characters, different types of posts, and so on, which could be useful for later organization.

There's also the more subconscious benefit that if I have a dedicated War Bots blog, I'd be more encouraged to post to it regularly. I'd feel awkward if I had the second blog and never used it, so... motivation by avoiding mild embarrassment?

The cons are... a little more numerous.

The main issue is that I'm lazy and have never had a side blog before. While I'm aware Tumblr makes having a side blog relatively easy, it's still more of a hassle than I'm used to.

A more serious issue is that it's less convenient for other people too. If anyone who wants to follow the project wants to keep seeing posts for it, they have to go follow the other blog, which I'd have to advertise here and also would probably cross-promote posts. It also hurts how many people in the future could get their eyes on it, since just by virtue of being a variety blog (granted with a heavy Overwatch lean) more people follow this blog than a new blog dedicated entirely to a project with its own specialized tags that wouldn't get seen by anyone not already aware of it. If I want more people to know about War Bots (which, to be transparent, I do), then it'd be more probable for people to see it on the blog that uses established popular tags like Overwatch.

The last big thing that discourages me from going ahead and making a War Bots sideblog is a little more silly, but is still a concern in my head. So like. If I make a separate blog for War Bots... why don't I make a separate blog for, say... Role Requeue? That's another project with a dedicated sub-audience that might prefer a dedicated blog for it. What about one for my Splatoon OCs? That one definitely could benefit from both urging me to post more about them and also better organization, and I don't think anybody follows this blog currently for the sake of Splatoon content, so it would warrant getting a separate audience there. And those are just the things I actually post about on here, there's way more original projects like War Bots that I have in mind and wanna talk about some day. Obviously those don't warrant blogs now, but what about later? It's kind of just opening pandora's box for someone with so many random projects like me.

I dunno, just things to consider. Right now my current stance is to not make a separate War Bots blog yet, but I want to hear specifically what people think. I'd make it a direct "yes or no" poll but that feels to harsh, so I'd appreciate feedback in the replies or reblogs on this post. I'll make a separate poll in a moment, but that'll be more for fun and vibe checking than any serious decision making.