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Chapter 7: Group Bonding Activity I'd Love to See Me From Your Point of View (HP) Tom Riddle x OC

18+ blog • minors dni

word count: 5.4k

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Following Thea’s revelations, the pair moved on to discussing Thea’s knowledge of Tom that she had learned from the books and her own research which included her previous trip to Little Hangleton. The lingering flames continued to spark inside Tom and showed no signs of death even as time ticked away, a welcomed warmth coursing through his veins that comforted him and emitted his sense of peace to the surrounding air that he was almost certain Thea could feel it. She had created a space that made him feel safe and he could only wonder how his eyes looked as he gazed at her; adoringly fond, perhaps? That same emotion reflected similarly in her eyes and, for the first time ever, he kept the eye contact not to assert confidence nor to read minds, but because he yearned to be the subject of those feelings she held. As his mind raced with appreciation for Thea – the flames crackled stronger with every thought – he hadn’t even realised that he had subconsciously tuned out his other senses until he saw the amusement etched onto her face and took notice of her upturned lips that had stopped moving.

Tom blinked twice in rapid succession and Thea took that as an indication that he was returning to reality. “You feeling alright there, Tom?”

“Apologies, I hadn’t meant to get distracted.”

She waved his apologies off easily. “Happens to the best of us.” Her unfailing kindness only pulled out a slight smile from Tom which only widened her own. “As I was saying about the Riddles, they’re filthy rich. They own much of the land in and around Little Hangleton which means they’ve got plenty of properties and the potential to create more. So, hypothetically, if they had a son, their son would inherit all their assets as per the law. And hence, hypothetically, if you were to show up on their doorsteps one day without the Trace tracking you, just having a chat with the family could, say, make them accept you? You do, after all, resemble Tom Riddle Senior so, what would stop them from doing so? Then, once they sadly die in a tragic accident or of old age somehow – hypothetically of course – you would have full reign over the use of these assets either in the muggle world or the wizarding world. Let’s say, for example, a home that cares for orphaned or unwanted magical children? With proper and humane adoption, foster, and care practices, of course.”

Thea gave Tom some time for him to jot down the ideas and his thoughts onto his notebook. Only when he had paused in his writing did she pipe up again. “I do advice against the Imperius spell, however. There’s a handful of people in the manor and keeping up the curse consistently for all of them – at least until their memories have been tweaked – would only drain your magic before you can even tap into their minds.”

“What do you suggest, then?”

“The Confundus Charm.” Thea grinned when she received a sceptical eyebrow raise from Tom and continued, “it has – or rather, it would have in the nineties – worked successfully on the Goblet of Fire with no hassle. It’s an underestimated charm, really. It’ll work nicely to confuse the inhabitants of the estate enough to hear you out and be rendered absolutely defenceless against you manipulating their memories. The spell is a one-time-cast spell so you wouldn’t need to maintain it for an extended period of time, and hence, it’s a more viable option for your case – at least I think so.”

Tom ran the idea in his head a couple of times before coming to the same conclusion as Thea. His hands moved continuously as Thea proceeded to relay everything she knew about Little Hangleton and the Riddles that would immensely help his plans, from the identities of the staffs of Riddle Manor to the stories she had heard circulating in the small town.

“So, my mother had thought that he would love her if he found out that she was birthing his babe… and hence, she ceased bewitching him with Amortentia.” Tom had only repeated Thea’s words and shot her a bemused look when she frowned. “Is that not right?”

“No- I mean, yes! That is what I said… but I just remembered that it was simply a speculation from Dumbledore – and perhaps Morfin might have thought it too; claimed that it was more likely that she had used a love potion than the Imperius Curse because it would have been more romantic in her eyes. If that was the case, however, I do wonder where she would’ve gotten the potion or ingredients from.”

Tom gave a hum as he, too, questioned the circumstances. “The Gaunts certainly had no assets to spare, and you mentioned that Merope sold the locket only once she had been abandoned. She couldn’t have easily found pearl dust nor powdered moonstone either which meant that she would have had to have purchased them somewhere.”

“And those aren’t cheap goods! Moreover, there’s no record of her attending Hogwarts nor had there been any news of her enrolment in any other schools, so she must have been home-taught magic. Marvolo wasn’t exactly the best in spellwork but if there was anything he was at least somewhat proficient at, they would be jinxes and curses.”

“Like the Imperius Curse.”

“Exactly.”

They shared a look of deep thought for a moment before Thea popped the bubble with a wave of her hand as she shrugged, “either way – whether you had been born under a love potion or not – you’re still very much a whole person who can love. Just as love potions can’t manipulate genuine infatuation, Magic has no right to meddle with a person’s gift to love. If you have to learn, then so be it! I’ll teach you myself if Dumbledore is so adamant that Magic conquers love – which is ironic considering how much he goes on about love being the strongest power of all.”

Thea – bless her – averted her eyes and stared into space as she nonchalantly muttered nonsense about ticking off her mental list of topics she should discuss with Tom as a way to stall time for the latter, who had gone unresponsive. His hand had stilled in place with an inked quill in his grip above his notebook while his eyes glazed over as he retracted into his mind unintentionally. Teach me herself? What does that entail exactly…What was it that she had said earlier?

‘If given the opportunity to have grown up in a loving household where there was someone who loved them, these children would have learned that love was a beautiful thing, not just a potion that led to disasters.’

Hence, to learn to love, was to be loved? So, if Thea had just volunteered to teach Tom to love, had she also given her say that she would willingly love him? Did she even know what she had just insinuated? …Perhaps he was thinking too much about it.

Regardless, the thought spun continuously in his head persistently and he was forced to be subjected to the idea that there was someone out there who thought that he could be loved and wasn’t too opposed to love him herself; and it wasn’t just anybody, it was Thea. The girl who constantly reminded him of home despite the fact that he had never had one to turn to for comfort. The only person in his life, thus far, who had invoked new feelings in him that he used to deem plebeian and worthless. The more he grappled with the concept of being loved by Thea, the more he found the notion appealing but unfathomable. After all, why would someone as sweet as her want him?

What would it be like, he wondered, to be loved by her? Then, her voice rang in his head and the image suddenly didn’t seem so impossible.

‘‘Cause I like you, of course.’

To have said that even with the other-worldly knowledge of his mistakes and flaws… To want to help him because she believed that he deserved it…

It poked his mind that perhaps – just maybe – he was already starting to learn.

A minute or a few had already passed by the time he had escaped the maze of tempting thoughts. He cleared his throat to signal his readiness for the conversation to continue and Thea paused in her mumble of deriding Dumbledore to turn back to him. “Oh, right! Where were we?”

Tom quirked the corner of his lips up amusedly at having caught the last bits of her contempt for the transfigurations professor. “We’ve just discussed the nature of my birth.”

Thea snapped her fingers in remembrance. “Of course! And with your birth, comes your status as the heir to the Slytherin name.”

“I’ll be honest, I’m still not too convinced that I’ll be accepted to hold the title.”

“That’s fair,” Thea shrugged, “it has been a concerning number of generations since the last time the House had accepted a member so I see where your worries lie. I suppose, we’ll just have to see how your meeting with Gringotts go once you’ve come of age.”

“Speaking of meetings, may I trouble you for a favour?”

The plain innocence and lack of apprehension in Thea’s expression as she indicated for him to continue was doubtlessly something he would have to get used to – and the others would have to too, if the favour he was about to ask for goes well. “Seeing as I now know that you aren’t against our ambitions, I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time to arrange a proper introductory meeting between you and the rest of the men? Your insights have been tremendously helpful and I figured that the others might demand for the source herself if I were to update them with the changes in the plan.”

“Oh?” Eyes wide in surprise at the unexpected proposition, Thea rolled her head to the right as she considered the potential outcome of such a situation. She would get an opportunity to say her piece to the boys and she could see for herself just the type of people they were. In conclusion, no drawbacks! “Yeah, I could do that! When and where would work for all of you?”

“This place has been fairly private, especially with the addition of the privacy ward, so I was thinking…”

They spent the final couple of minutes planning for an appropriate setting to conduct the meeting at before wrapping up their own current discussion so that they didn’t miss dinner seeing as they had already taken up an ample bit of the evening by then. Almost a week of seeing the new norm of the pair walking together had eased up the rumours going around the mill but that hadn’t stopped her year-mates from hypothesising scandalous tales about them whenever they came across the ‘mismatched’ partners. Nonetheless, both objects of the stories had no issue ignoring the whispers; though Thea often found herself receiving side-eyes wherever she went, it mattered not if she was in her dormitory or in the courtyard. On the other hand, the snakes knew better than to treat Tom – and by extension, Thea – the same way. If Thea had noticed that there were significantly less glares from the Slytherins, she shrugged it off as a mutual understanding that the green and silver house, too, had had their fair share of receiving unjustified contempt.

Following their shared double potions class the next day, Thea and Tom led the way to the library as Avery, Rosier, and Mulciber tagged along behind them. Tom had extended his favour to his circle the previous night and they had all expressed their anticipation in getting to know the girl that had caught Tom’s eyes – not that they were frank with the last bit. As expected, when the group had made it to the same plenty-deserted rectangular table in the library, Lestrange and Nott were already present and sat across each other. The boys shared greetings as Mulciber and Avery joined to the right of Lestrange, Rosier sat left to Nott and was joined by Thea to his own left, while Tom headed one end of the table adjacent to Avery and Thea. As the one who had assembled the group, everyone looked to Tom to commence the conversation.

“I thought proper introductions were due and have, therefore, set this up. Thea,” the aforementioned girl perked up at Tom’s call and she turned to face the others when Tom gestured around, “in front of you, in clockwise direction, is Lazarus Avery, Dylan Mulciber, Eugene Lestrange, Gallagher Nott, and Edward Rosier. Lestrange and Nott are seventh-years while the others, you’ve seen in shared classes.” Then, he redirected his hand towards Thea, “boys, this is Theana Grace.”

“It is wonderful to meet the heirs to the most ancient houses of Wizarding Britain.”

Caught off-guard at Thea’s use of their jargon and her purposeful omittance of the ‘noble’ title, the boys had to swiftly rethink their responses to reply accordingly. Some ended up stumbling over their words at the hesitance of discarding one aspect of their house title while others kept it in nevertheless. Once the greetings were done, the formalities went away with it and Lestrange addressed Tom, who had erected a privacy ward around them. “What’s on the agenda today? You spoke of nothing last night and only mentioned that all would be revealed here.”

Tom shared a glance with Thea. “As you all know, there’s been a halt in our plans due to Thea’s unexpected arrival at the end of last year and ever since, we had yet to determine if she was an ally or a foe.” At this, Thea sported a sheepish grin. “That has changed as of yesterday and after much deliberation with Thea, the plan has changed. As it turns out, she is more than a mere ally and I imagined that you would all request to speak with her had I, alone, shared with you the new plan. Thus, here she is in advance.”

Clear suspicion was shared amongst those unfamiliar with Thea despite their unwavering trust in Tom. “And how has the plan changed?”

Eyes followed Tom’s as he looked towards Thea. The pair had discussed how they were to approach this beforehand and, as agreed, Tom had given Thea the autonomy to speak. Thea clasped her hands on the table and started with a harmless smile, “horcruxes;” Rosier nearly spluttered beside her, “nasty bit of soul magic right there, wouldn’t you say so? There’s not much that’s been written about it seeing as Herpo the Foul was – or is – the only one in history’s record who has created one. In the paraphrased words of Adalbert Waffling’s first Fundamental Laws of Magic, messing around with your own soul breeds negative consequences one probably can’t even fathom. In other words: if you fuck around, you find out.”

Rosier wasn’t alone in choking on air out of sheer astoundment over Thea’s candour this time. Having heard her vulgarity previously, Tom was only slightly nonplussed. Brushing off the reactions she had gotten, Thea simply continued, “as it so happens, I’ve seen the effects of horcrux magic on a person before and it really isn’t pretty.”

Then she regaled the circumstances in which horcruxes had destroyed the brightest of minds and had rendered him a tyrant consumed with blood purity ideals despite his half-blood identity. She told of how the creation of such objects had drove him insane and inhumane in every way while still retaining the mentality of a teen despite the decades that had passed, the way he had gained an obsession with a mere boy just because a prophecy – that he hadn’t heard – had spelled out his doom – which had come true, no thanks to his own actions – and how he had been so- “-stupid! I mean- really?! If you were to come face to face with a baby who you aim to kill, what would you do?”

The sudden detour of her discourse combined with her heated tone took all of them by surprise and Avery, being the one who Thea had locked eyes with at that moment, could only answer truthfully. “The Killing Curse?”

“What is it with y- no! You lift the baby up and drop them out the damn window! Or better yet, just to counter the possibility that accidental magic may levitate them down safely, you snap their necks and get it over with! Honestly! If you get the chance to meet the person who you think would cause your downfall, why would you use something as unpredictable as magic?! Granted, in the tyrant’s defence, no one could have seen the ‘love is magic’ bull coming – which I really do think is just blood protection magic – but I’m telling you, if you ever encounter such a situation, you might be better off just dealing practical, physical damage. After all, the night the boy had killed the tyrant, the tyrant had actually hit the boy with another Killing Curse and- voila! He didn’t die! But of course, the tyrant couldn’t have known he had come back to life because the Killing Curse leaves no physical signs that harm has been inflicted – beneficial in some cases, not in this situation. If only the boy had been stabbed or- I don’t know, gutted? The tyrant could’ve easily seen that the boy had been very much alive when he healed up magically; or perhaps the boy would actually remain dead if the damage couldn’t be reversed – the Killing Curse doesn’t exactly affect the victim physically, besides stopping their life, so there was nothing that had to be ‘reversed’ and the boy could just up and go! Not to mention his idiotic lau- wait. That’s not- what was I talking abou-”

It was only then that Thea had realised her digression of topic and she clicked her mouth shut immediately. Silence fell upon the table at the cessation of Thea’s rant and as the nearby clock ticked away, Thea felt the creeping heat approach her cheeks and ears and subconsciously brought a hand up to shield her fluster from the gobsmacked faces around her. Averting her eyes only made matters worse when she ended up turning to her left; upon her sights landing on Tom, she was reminded of the fact that the person she had been disparaging about had once been his future self and she had to use up all her willpower to not bash her head against the nearest surface. No drawbacks, my ass- I’ve made a fool of myself.

Tom, meanwhile, could only regard her with desire and need lighting his every cell aflame; now more than ever, he wanted her to teach him how to love so that he could love her in all the ways she deserved and nothing less. Salazar, he yearned to give her everything he could provide and more. Oh, how he longed for her to love him for- nothing could ever amount to her willingly-given love.

He had spent the previous night with thoughts of what could have been plaguing his mind and, by morning time, he had learnt to separate Voldemort’s identity from his own current life. Every – justified – critique that Thea had just thrown at Voldemort was of no offence to Tom and he, himself, agreed with her perspective the more she shared about the plain stupid rules that Voldemort had played by. Tom’s appreciation for her only grew the more she condemned his alternate life’s future actions because she had been unashamed in conveying her disappointment for the un-whole soul of a man and yet she could look at Tom with utter pride and admiration.

Thea was a blessing in person and- Merlin could not save him if he was to fuck up after all that she had done out of the goodness of her heart.

A clear of her throat and a quiet, shy, “sorry,” brought the entire table back into reality from their own respective thoughts but the silence remained as everyone struggled to piece together their words.

“You’re alright, love.”

The flummoxed expression of five men stood no chance in swaying Tom’s composure against the embarrassed but grateful countenance of the one woman in front of him. He countered her smile with a reassuring one of his own and turned to regard the others with a raised eyebrow. That seemed to snap them out of their speechlessness – whilst simultaneously adding into their incredulity – and they switched their attentions back to Thea.

“Say, who… exactly… is this person you’ve been talking about? The entirety of your story wouldn’t have been swept under a rug and yet records have named Herpo as the only person who has ever dipped into horcrux magic.”

The return to the topic in hand quelled the flush in her cheeks as Thea grinned playfully and extended a hand in Tom’s direction. “Who else could it be, if not Tom had I not interfered with fate, of course!”

The ludicrousness of the situation was incomparable to any other events in the boys’ life as they stared at Thea for a brief moment, before rotating their heads to face Tom in comical unison, the absurdity clear in their eyes only intensifying when Tom kept up his unbothered façade. With a casual shrug and two words, he sent everyone into a ruckus.

“It’s true.”

“What the actual fuck do you mean-”

“You’re not actually being serious.”

“How-”

“Since when were you a tyrant?!”

“You failed to kill a baby?!”

When the noise didn’t die down after the first round of bizarre accusations, Tom called out with a grimace, “alright- settle down, boys- settle down!”

Thea had to stifle her laughter at the obvious restrain the boys had to pull up to quieten down and faked naivete when all of them sent her varying degrees of suspicious looks except Tom, who only watched her with fond exasperation.

“As impossible as it sounds, yes, Thea was referring to an alternate me in those recounts. Just as she has claimed, had she not barged into fate’s space and woven the thread herself, I would have gone down the exact route that would have made me an insane, diabolical tyrant.”

“‘Lord Voldemort’, so he would call himself,” another giggle almost left Thea at the cringe Tom gave and she settled, instead, into a wide beam, “I’d tell you the inspiration behind the name but it would send me to an early grave at the hands of dear Tom.”

Without a pause, Tom shot back easily, “oh, I could never harm you, darling.”

“Is that so, sweetheart?”

There were certainly more terms of endearment shared between them in the span of the past five minutes than in the entire week prior. Judging by the softness of Tom’s gaze and the upturn of Thea’s lips, however, there was no doubt, even to the spectators, that the pair had found a fancy to this new level of familiarity in their relationship. They were quick to remember their audience, howbeit, and they resumed their discussion with a fresh lightness in their psyche.

Thea spared them a light-hearted apology, “sorry for the mystification caused by my presence thus far, boys. That was unintended.”

“But- I still don’t understand how you could have known all that!”

Mulciber had been the first to handle disregarding – for the meantime – the new side to Tom that Thea had brought out and had expressed his befuddlement. The rest of the snakes proceeded to follow suit and mumbled in agreement at the unanswered mystery. “How did you know?”

“Oh, I’m a clairvoyant.”

The indifferent manner in which Thea had finally cleared up the misunderstanding made it so that her words almost slipped past the boys’ comprehension. She received blank stares all around and only cocked her head to the side which snapped them all out of their daze.

“No shot-”

“Alright, we’re not doing this again- yes, she’s a clairvoyant. I’ve checked with her and she’s proven herself trustworthy.”

Tom had been the one to suggest disguising her source of information as a divination vision she had gotten to minimise the risk of her secret, of remembering her past life where the current world was fictional, falling into the wrong hands. Seers were highly sought after in the magical world and there existed people who would go to far lengths just to obtain one such gifted being – how much more would Thea’s circumstances be coveted by those people? While Tom had vouched for the boys’ occlumency competence, he had deemed it safer to divulge only a part of her true nature and Thea was all the more agreeable when she considered the possibility of some mad magical scientist kidnapping her to dissect and experiment on her.

“Right. Okay. So- Grace is a seer, who has seen the bleak future in her foresight abilities, and had decided to prevent it all from happening- by giving you book recommendations?! You’ve seen how grim and bloody the future could be and you chose to stop it by sending a note!”

“Well- if you put it that way…” A lopsided smile painted Thea’s lips as she thought about her actions in hindsight before shrugging offhandedly. “And it worked, didn’t it?”

They all looked at her in disbelief but relented at her proven success. “I mean- I guess…”

Now that the long-awaited clarification of her intentions had been declared, the group soon moved on to divulging the newly renovated plans that Thea and Tom had concocted.

“…hence, we will continue to seek out people who would side with our mission in the shadows for the meantime. If I do end up inheriting the Slytherin lordship come the end of the year, we won’t have to stay as hidden as I’ll imagine the ministry would call for my attendance in the Wizengamot as the lordship would come with a seat at the court. Following my coming of age, too, will be my visit to the Riddles where I will have them officially name me a successor to all their assets.”

Tom paused unhesitatingly when he noticed a frown on Thea and gave her his full attention. “Is there something wrong, love?”

“Hm?” Having been listening to his words intently, Thea belatedly processed his unexpected address of her. “Oh- no, it’s nothing- okay well, not nothing actually, but…” She gave herself a momentary break to fully form her words and inwardly thanked Tom for his patience. “Okay, so- when you mention that you’ll seek people out, do they include women?”

A couple of blinks from everyone told Thea all that she needed to know. She gave an audible wince but nodded in understanding. “Right- so- this may sound biased considering… you know, I’m a girl and all… but I do actually come from an objective standpoint when I say that I highly suggest you recruit the ladies too.”

That earned her a mix of intrigued and doubtful looks. Nott was the latter when he asked, “they don’t exactly have any influence in the stance of the houses, though. But then again, you’ve yet to make an unreasonable point so far.”

“Ah, but that’s not quite right, is it? Let’s say, while you, men, are chatting politics in a soirée, what do the ladies talk about?”

“Gossips?”

“And how do you feel about Simon Yaxley?”

“A disgrace!” Just as Thea had expected, an outburst came from Lestrange. “Honestly, how could he?! To treat his wife so violently and callously, has he no sense?! That’s no man right there – he’s an absolute disappointment to his house.”

Rosier piped up next, “and he still has the gall to request for the other houses’ support for his intention to campaign as the next minister. He should be thanking Merlin that his in-laws opted not to avenge his wife for all the disgusting acts he’s done.”

The others looked just as furious as the two men as they nodded along. An expression of content flitted past Thea’s face and she internally patted herself for a job well done in luring them all into her trap. “Yaxley had all the support he needed prior to this ordeal, didn’t he?” When they confirmed affirmatively, she continued, “so he had lost everything when it was revealed that he was a domestic abuser… enlighten me, how had you been made aware of Lady Yaxley’s distress?”

“Well, my mother brought it up at dinner- oh…”

The others looked to Avery curiously when he lit up in realisation mid-sentence. Before he could resume, however, Mulciber cut in, “oh, wait, was that also after Lady Black’s tea party? Because my mother did that too! Our fathers had a Wizengamot meeting the next day and word had already spread about Lord Yaxley by then somehow- oh… wow.”

More confusion.

“Now that you mentioned it, that was also the same day I learnt of Yaxley’s misdeeds! My father had gotten so pissed off that he nearly flooed over to Yaxley’s that night!”

“Hold on- I think we’re in the same boat?”

“Same here! What’s going on?”

Thea took pride in the approving smile Tom shot her as she basked in the disorientation of the boys. “Boys, boys, boys.” That recaptured everyone’s attention. “What do your experiences that day have in common?”

“…Lady Black’s tea party,” Mulciber replied sheepishly.

Dots began connecting in the rest of the boys’ head and they turned to Thea, dumbfounded. Rosier then adds in, “wait, how did you even know about it?!”

“Hm? I didn’t.” Thea snorted a laugh when some of them dropped their jaws. “You said it yourself; the ladies gossip. I figured Lady Yaxley would’ve confided in a fellow lady of her status or higher, seeing as men tend to dismiss women a lot,” At least they had the shame to not argue against her pointed look, “and the news about Yaxley did appear out of nowhere, so it made sense that the mothers could have devised a plan to overturn his standing overnight. That was all just my theory though; and you’ve kindly provided the proof.”

Silence, then- “what are you?”

Thea shrugged. “A woman.”

When no one had more to add in – too caught up in questioning their beliefs – Thea took the opportunity to add oil into the fire. “Honestly, you boys would not survive one day in high society in the heels of a lady. To live through the circulating slanders and scandals that eye your every move and come out of the battlefield winning? That takes impressive skills. Those innocent fronts that hide schemes and strategies could fool even Grindelwald – and have, mind you – and I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve got blackmail over a handful of people each. These women have had etiquette drilled into them by other women ever since they were babies. Experiences on top of experiences have been passed on to them and they have established their own social circles even by this age- really, you should consider yourself blessed if they would even give you the time of the day.”

The questions and doubts came in after that and Thea had no trouble deflecting them on the fly. The focus eventually shifted to inbreeding – which Thea had more than a couple words to say about – and then they had somehow started to discuss squibs.

“Oh, I’ve actually included that in the list of texts that I’ve suggested to Tom.”

“Funny, I had planned to bring that up this weekend too.”

“I guess I may as well make your life easier and tackle that now while you’ve got me to help you. Right, boys, are you aware of the evidence that has traced muggleborns back to pureblood lineages? Research has suggested that the more inbred you are, the likelier you’d turn out to be a squib, and that muggleborns are simply descendants of these people whose inherited magic has activated after generations of staying dormant in the blood.”

Needless to say, Thea and Tom had found themselves busy with changing the purebloods’ inherent denial and prejudice that evening and they ended up having an interlude when the bell had rung and the five of them had to leave for transfiguration. Thea sent Tom her best wishes – and amusement – when they parted ways for dinner as she would be unable to support him when Tom had to handle resuming the discussion afterwards in the Slytherin common room.

All in all, the meeting had gone great! And when Thea noticed the boys engaging in conversation with Druella Rosier and Walburga Black later that week, she felt a kindling warmth in her heart.

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matryosika · 4 years ago

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shoot me, chapter VI

pairing — changbin x reader

rating — 18+

genre of the overall series — smut, angst, fluff if you squint

prologue chapter I chapter II chapter III chapter IV chapter V chapter VI

word count for this chapter — 4.1 k

warnings — mentions of alcohol and emotional abuse

note — this chapter has no smut in it. still, the love-story gets completely developed here. next chapters will be filled with smut and angst so stay tuned! i haven't read this chapter because i wanted to upload it as soon as possible, so it may contain grammar mistakes. i will check it later since i have to go out with my family to have dinner! <3 hope you enjoy

taglist:@cozyblues @ahgasearmyfan @binnie-m00n @minaamhh @pinkishwen @spilledtee

[changbin's pov]

"so?" you asked him, modeling one of the dresses that you had previously selected from the expensive clothing shop "what do you think?"

she looks like a goddess.

"good" changbin limited to reply. "is that the last one?"

"c'mon you are not helping at all" you grunted, turning around slightly on the mirror to see the full silhouette of the dress "this might be the one, don't you think?"

i think so. i think you look perfect in all the things you have tried on, actually.

"it's alright" the dark-haired man reply "just take that one and let's get this over with"

"jesus, changbin" you whined "you are such a pain in the ass. if you were in a bad mood then you shouldn't have accepted to drive me here so i can buy a dress for the wedding"

you had been in korea for a month and 2 weeks now, your relationship with changbin growing unconciously intimate as you often engage in sexual encounters with him. you wouldn't say the both of you were close, but each day that passed by you could feel how you learned more about him just like he learned more about you too. you wouldn't consider him a good friend, since hostility made a presence every now and then between the both of you, but you had learned to spend time with him without feeling the need to put plugs into your ears and a blindfold to stop acknowledging his existence.

"if you needed help picking a dress" changbin interrupted, standing up from the seat he had been occupying for the last 45 minutes "you should've asked hyejin or ryujin to come and help you out, not me"

"hyejin is busy" you were quick to respond "ryujin had work today and you were the only other person i know that owns a car"

"cabs exist"

"yeah well" you made a pause, swallowing hard "i don't like cabs"

"you could've asked arthur to lend you his private driver" changbin tilted his head slightly.

"i get uncomfortable with strangers" you answered after a few seconds of being completely silent, changbin's gaze making you incredibly nervous.

"really?" he inquired, one of his hands traveling all the way to the pocket of his jacket as he pulled his wallet out. "why won't you just admit that you wanted to spend time with me?"

"fuck no" a grimace of disgust was quick to appear on your face "don't get confused. i would rather be dead than to spend more time with you than i already have to"

"yet you are still here" he teased "maybe i'm not as unbearable as your mind is trying to convince you i truly am"

with lazy steps he took the bunch of dresses that were piled up on the chair next to him, putting them all over his shoulder as he walked to the counter. "what are you doing?" you asked, still wearing the last dress you tried on.

"you are indecisive and i am starving" he said without even looking at you "i don't need to spend another 45 minutes here looking at how much you struggle to pick between 5 dresses, just have them all and pick one when you are alone"

you looked at him in desbelief "do you have any idea of how much just one of them cost? are you stupid?" you almost yelled in astonishment, looking at the figure of changbin slightly turning around to face you.

"i am not stupid" changbin reply "like i said, i am just hungry"

and currently thinking about how beautiful you are looking right now with that look of amazement on your pretty face. if i could, i would buy you the entire world just for you to destroy.

[y/n's pov]

"i will pay every single one of those dresses back before i leave" you mumbled, eating your food as if you had been starving for days "i had money, i didn't need you to come and rescue me as if i was some sort of damsel in distress"

"you were in distress though" he added, taking a sip of the drink he ordered "you took almost 30 minutes just to pick one dress to try on, you are really undecisive"

"yeah well, it's not like i had anywhere else to be" you replied.

"isn't arthur going to have a small gathering at his house today?" changbin inquired "like a pre-celebration of the wedding or something?"

you shrugged your shoulders "i don't know and i don't care. i am just here for the wedding and then i will be finally free"

you kept on eating your plate of food, confused as to why changbin's gaze stayed fix on you. "what, do i have something on my f-?"

"are you leaving right after the wedding?" he asked in a very hostile way, almost as if he had completely forgot that you were not going to stay forever.

"not right after but that's the main reason i came here, yeah" you replied, having a mixture of feelings inside your guts.

you couldn't deny the fact that you missed tsukuba, but living there meant to be trapped in the university dorms 24/7 just studying. but still, the lifestyle you have had for the past time was absolutely something you could get use to it: ryujin, hyejin, going out on the weekends, being free from school, changbin...

changbin?

"i still don't know the exact date though" you added "school doesn't start for me in another months so..."

"how is your life?" he asked, earning a weird look from you as you couldn't quite understand his question "in Japan, i mean"

you sighed. you had thought that living in japan was really good and you felt utterly comfortable living there until you arrived to korea and discovered a whole new life style that you had already learned to love. not only that, but leaving everything here was going to get you a bit nostalgic in the future. "it is great, better than people say it is honestly" you responded as he nodded "i live at the university dorms so life is pretty much everything but rushed. i spend my days at the library studying, i sometimes work as a shadow teacher for like 4 or 5 kids and on weekends i go and visit my mom and her partner"

"your mom got married after divorcing arthur?" changbin followed, just in time as he finished his dish of food.

"uh, it's complicated" you gave him a smile "she lives with someone and she is very happy"

"and are you?"

you were about to answer the question when you felt a pinch on your heart. a month ago you would have replied "yes" without a doubt. you thought you were happy living in japan, you thought you were happy when you visited thea, your mother, and reiko, her girlfriend. you thought you were happy when reiko made you her special coffee and you thought you were happy when they ocasionally visited you on winter nights at your dorm. you thought you were happy when you worked with children and spent time with them. you thought you were happy when you rode your bike from school to work and you thought you were happy when ryejin visited you and your mom on the holidays.

however, you had learned a new definition of happiness here.

"are you?" you fired back.

changbin slightly tilted his head as he laid completely back on his seat "i could be"

"what is exactly stopping you from being happy?" you asked him, intruiged.

"even if i explained it to you" he mumbled "i don't think you will be able to understand it"

"ah, there you are again" you scoffed, slightly rolling your eyes "your god complex has not show all day. i guess you missed it."

"c'mon" he grunted, raising his hand at one of the waiters at the restaurant "let's go somewhere else"

"where exactly?" you laughed "to your place? your car? a motel? jesus changbin, you can't really go a day without fucking, can you?"

"that's not actually what i had in mind" he replied, taking out his credit card as he saw the waiter approaching the table "but i mean if you want to fuck i won't say no"

"you had something in mind?" you asked, faking excitment "for me? you planned something for me?"

"if you want i can drop you at arthur's place right now so he can force you to have dinner with him and his bride. it's up to you"

you weren't really feeling like spending "quality time" with your father, and you also knew that hyejin was probably not going to attent the dinner, so there was no point of you being there. but at the same time, the thought of spending time with changbin doing non-sexual activities was something that it always made you nervous for an unknown reason, and you were feeling particularly nervous today.

"whatever"

the evening went on peacefully and that alone was unreal. he drove you to the center of seoul and suggested to take a walk around the most popular avenues because "the city looked better at night", something you have always believed too.

changbin was attractive and, even though your personalities crashed every damn time, you couldn't deny the fact that there were some sort of intimate bond going on between the both of you since that very first night at the bar. still, you wouldn't accept it. you wouldn't accept that the one person you disliked the most was starting to change your mind.

and you couldn't get yourself to trust him either. you couldn't trust any men, for that matter.

"have you thought about which dress you are going to wear tomorrow?" he asked so casually, his hands inside the pockets of his jacket as his gaze diverted from building to building.

"no" you replied, trying to get back at the trail of thoughts you had been threading since you left the restaurant with him. "have you?"

"have i thought about the dress i am going to wear tomorrow?" he laughed "i don't know, it will depend on which one you lend me"

"i got distracted" you admitted "but i will try on all the dresses tomorrow morning and i will give you the rest of them so you can return them to the store"

"i won't do that" he clicked his tongue "i bought them for you"

your heart skipped a beat after hearing those words and it was everything but pleasent.

"i don't want them"

"you can't reject a gift" he mumbled "that's the whole point of a gift"

"i will sell them on the internet" you threatened.

"do it, at the end of the day they are yours" he gave you a side look while smirking "but i wouldn't sell them if i were you. you look good in them"

"oh so you want to give opinions about the dresses now, huh?" you asked, mildly annoyed "you could've help me back at the store but you chose to be grumpy"

"at least i am helping you now"

"you are unbearable" you whispered.

a bright smile was quick to appear on his face. a genuine smile, as if he was enjoying the conversation. not only the conversation but the whole moment: you and him, walking around the city and talking about something so casual and trivial like which clothes you were going to wear tomorrow or which dress he liked best on you.

and for a moment it felt nice.

you felt safe.

"the red one was pretty" he added. you looked at him confused, once again lost in your trail of thoughts. "the red dress, the one that you tried on last"

"good" you responded "i'll make sure not to wear that one"

"you hate me that much?" he teased while a faint chuckle left his lips.

"oh changbin, you have no idea" deep down knowing it wasn't more than a vile lie.

you looked in the mirror one last time before you heard hyejin calling your name once again "y/n, how long will you take? i need to stop by the bakery to pick up the wedding cake"

"i'll be out in a minute" you replied, noticing how your hands got sweatier by the second.

you were quite nervous, but couldn't really understand why. maybe the sole thought of your father having his "happy ending" made you jealous because you knew that he did not deserve that at all; he didn't deserve the love he had.

the emotional abuse your mother and you suffered throughout your childhood and adolescence was not something that could be fixed in a month or two and you were certain about it. no matter how happy your father was, you couldn't help but to feel jealous about how he never had to suffer like you and your mother did.

and even though you got over your negative feelings towards him, the scars and aftermath of an abusive household still caught up on you: the mistrust, the negativity, the hostility and the lack of commitment were things you had to deal with on a daily basis.

of course he was the one to blame. but you were an adult now, and you were supposed to deal with all those issues by yourself. no one was going to fix them for you.

"jesus y/n, we are running late" hyejin busted the door open "are you ready now?"

"yes" you were quick to respond, grabbing the purse on your bed and trying to quickly divert from your sister's gaze.

"wait" she mumbled, gripping both of your shoulder as you intended to the leave the room "why are you tearing up?"

"i am not" you replied "i yawned"

she didn't look convinced, but still decided not to push any further "i'll meet you in the car, i just have to grab a few things"

you nodded and made your way through the hallway. because of how rushed she was, you didn't have a chance to tell hyejin how gorgeous she looked. she was wearing a golden shiny dress that embraced her body just fine and carrying a maching clutch with it. she was really pretty, maybe the prettiest woman you had ever seen, and not only that but she was also very smart. any guy would be head over heels for her, but she still decided not to engage in a "silly love story" as she called them because "it is a waste of her precious time, and time is money"

you wished you had the same mentality as she did, but you grew up getting educated on how love was portrayed in books, movies and television. it was ironic how you were the first person on earth to deny that love actually existed, but you were still a hopeless romantic after all.

[changbin's pov]

"changbin, are you too far from the church?" haeun, his mother, asked desperately as changbin picked up the phone.

"i'm right outside" he grunted "i told you i was not going to be late"

"we are sitting on the second bench at the left of the altar" the old woman added "hurry up"

changbin hung up the phone and cursed under his breath. the weather today was maybe too nice for his own liking and his clothes were a bit too uncomfortable to be wearing them under the sun.

as quickly as he could, he closed the door of his car and started walking towards the entrance, making sure that the ceremony hadn't started just yet so he wouldn't make a scene.

"did you bring the gift?" jang-yeop inquired as he sat down next to him and changbin nodded "did you also bring your mother the pair of shoes?"

"yes" he responded "how long is this going to take?"

"40-45 minutes?" his father replied "i have no idea, what time is it?"

"7:02 p.m." haeun was quick to answer "now, the both of you shut up"

right after she mumbled those words, music started to sound on the church. changbin, being in a rush to get to his seat before the ceremony started, didn't notice that arthur was already standing up next to the altar and waiting for his soon-to-be wife. changbin's gaze was fixed on arthur, then it diverted into the bride walking down the aisle and then returned to arthur once again. he never thought about marriage or building a family. hell, he never thought about having a romantic relationship that would last longer than a few months actually. but as he grew older, and as he experienced new stuff, he wasn't sure if he still had the same mentality he used to have last year.

to changbin, arthur seemed genuinely happy. his half-lidded eyes along with that bright smile he was wearing indicated that the man was living one of the happiest days of his life. and as changbin witnessed that romantic scene, the question that popped up in the conversation he had with you last night grabbed his attention once again.

what exactly is stopping me from being happy?

and before he could respond himself with words, his eyes had already found the answer: standing on the bench at the right of the altar and wearing that promising dark red dress that could drive any man insane, the woman he never dreamed of looking just as beautiful as the very first day he met her.

not being able to have her completely.

[y/n's pov]

after the ceremony, a big party was held at a very elegant event hall located in one of the tallest buildings of seoul. you were not particularly excited about having to see arthur's side of the family, but you still managed to keep yourself together the whole time.

"you are wearing the red dress" a sudden voice whispered into your ear as you were counting the tables that were still missing their dinner plates, an order given by hyejin. you slightly turned around to meet changbin's breath dancing on your neck and nape, goosebumps filling every single inch of your skin due to the proximity.

"congratulations" you sighed "your vision is crystal clear"

"i have been watching you since the ceremony" changbin added "i can't help but think about how pretty you are going to look when you are taking that dress off for me"

a spark of electricity traveled around your whole body and directly into your core. you immediatly looked around and notice a few people who worked for arthur's company sitting not that far away from the both of us "do you really want to do this here?" you asked "aren't you scared of being caught by any of arthur's friends?"

"are you concerned about that now?" he chuckled "that didn't seem to bother you at the company's elevator"

"c'mon" you whispered, your back slightly pressing against his chest "i have to help hyejin with some stuff"

changbin slightly gripped your hand and guided you to the dancefloor that was crowded with couples dancing around "i am sure that she can handle all of this by herself"

before you could protest, you took out your phone and sent her a message with the information she asked for. you had no idea what changbin was up to, but you still decided to follow him.

changbin positioned his hands on your waist as he gracefully dragged you across the dancefloor, looking for a spot in the middle of the crowd so it would be easier for the two of you to get lost.

"you are spending the night at my place" he mumbled over the slow songs that were now playing. it wasn't a question nor a petition, it was an order.

"yeah right" you chuckled "if you are too desperate to fuck we can do that, but i am not fond of sleepovers"

the thought of you spending the night with him was terrifying, but you would've been lying if you said that you hadn't think about what it would be like to wake up next to his him.

"i wasn't asking" he responded. "tell me when you are ready to leave".

with a swift movement, your whole body was pressed against his, his hands resting on your lowerback as you both swinged from side to side, following the rythm of the song. this was a whole new side of him that you didn't know it existed, and you couldn't deny that you were loving every second of it.

"who thaught you how to dance, huh?" you asked, your gaze fixed on his eyes that looked even brighter because of all the lights adorning the hall.

"there is so much about me that you don't know" he replied.

"oh i know everything there is to know about you, changbin" you scoffed "but let's see if you can keep surprising me"

it wasn't even midnight but people were already starting to get completely intoxicated with alcohol. arthur had spent the night dancing with ara and, after she was done being the unofficial wedding planner, hyejin ended up getting wasted with the small group of friends she invited to the wedding. you, on the other hand, spent the night dancing with changbin and eating your dinner with him.

it was not unusual to see the both of you together since you spent too much time at the company, but tonight it was sort of different. the looks he gave you, the way you two danced for hours on end, the way he was treating you... it felt different, a little bit more personal and intimate. his parents probably noticed this too, since they made a lof of comments about "how happy they were about us being really good friends". if only they knew.

"i think i am ready" you said to changbin after telling hyejin that you were going to spend the night somewhere else. she nodded her head and agreed to say, if asked, that "you were at ryujin's" even when she wasn't invited to the wedding in the first place. you just smiled at her and nodded, not leaving without telling one of her sober friends to look out for her.

"don't worry" the pretty pale girl mumbled "she will stay at my house tonight"

you glanced over to arthur and ara who were still having the greatest time of their lives on the dancefloor, and proceeded to walk away from the party with changbin. "you parents will stay here?"

"yeah, they will leave in an hour or so" changbin replied "i told them that you wanted to go home and that i was going to drive you"

"perks of living alone i guess" you joked.

the walk through the empty corridors of the building felt eerie as the loud sound of the music were still ringing in your ears. even though you were walking on your own, you could still feel changbin's ablazing touch on your body and that only provoked your heartbeat to go even faster.

as you waited for the elevator to open their doors, changbin's lips unexpectedly crashed against yours. it wasn't a passionate kiss, and it wasn't rushed either. it was just a kiss, an innocent kiss, a kiss you give to your significant other as a demostration of how much you love them. his soft lips dragged against yours as his teeth bite softly your bottom lip, earning a small whine from you. his hands, that were now located into your waist, guided you to the insides of the elevator once the doors were opened.

"you look so beautiful tonight" he whispered interrupting, his breathing getting faster each second that passed by "i can't get you out of my head"

his lips left yours to meet the sensitive spots on your neck, peppering soft kisses all over the surface. your gaze found the reflection of the scene in the mirror of the elevator, looking at how changbin was tasting every inch of your skin with his eyes closed, his rushed hands traveling all the way from your waist to your lower back trying to memorize every single trace of your body.

"i don't want to hurt you tonight" he continued "no roughness, no pain, no petnames. i want to make you completely mine, in the most pure way"

and for the night, you agreed to let your feelings out and let go.

no fear and no mistrust, you were ready to face the overwhelming feelings that had been building up inside you since the day you met him.

even if you could potentially regret it later...

#stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids x reader #changbin x reader #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #skz oneshots #stray kids oneshots #seo changbin smut #kpop smut

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jbuffyangel · 4 years ago

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The Bermuda Triangle: Arrow 1x13 Review (Betrayal)

Time to deal with this love triangle and all the ways it is awful.

Let’s dig in...

L*uriver vs. Merlance

I frequently say to myself as I rewatch Season 1 that the triangle makes sense in theory. The writers have all the components, albeit clichéd, that should create a love triangle full of juicy drama.

Man wrongs woman in another life thereby destroying any future together

Woman falls for secret identity without realizing it is the same man who hurt her

Man “gives up” woman for her own good

Man and best friend are in love with the same woman

Best friend changes his ways and becomes the perfect boyfriend

Woman no longer wants best friend and instead lusts for secret identity bad boy

And round and round we go. The problem is this doesn’t really tread any new ground. How many times have we seen this type of love triangle play out? MANY TIMES. Not saying a tried and true trope can’t be repeated, but if you’re going to use it then try to inject some new life into it.

Arrow stays stubbornly in between the lines on this one, which means there are no real surprises. We know exactly where this is headed. Everyone is just waiting for L*urel to choose Oliver. Hell, even Tommy knows it is coming someday.

This brings us to our second problem. L*urel choosing Oliver is so inevitable it doesn’t require a lot of character growth for either of them. L*urel and Oliver have not dealt with ANY of the issues that caused their demise. Yes, Oliver cheated on L*urel, but there were reasons why he cheated. Those have yet to be discussed.

We’re supposed to accept that since Oliver is wearing the hood and is out saving the streets as the vigilante then he is “worthy” of L*urel again. We’re supposed to be waiting with baited breath for L*urel to discover Oliver’s secret identity, realize he’s the man in the hood she’s been lusting after, and fall back into his arms where she belongs.

I think not. Don’t get me wrong. I love me a good triangle. I loved The Vampire Diaries. Two brothers in love with the same woman. Interesting. Woman looks exactly like the lost love that destroyed their bond a hundred years earlier? MORE INTERESTING. And kinky.

I enjoy exploring the varying ways love is expressed in different relationships and what it can reveal about the characters. There isn’t always a right or wrong choice. There’s just a choice and it reflects the kind of love you need to live.

But I understand the complaints about love triangles. Oliver, L*urel and Tommy are the PERFECT validation of those complaints. It’s a tired way to insert some drama that has a completely predictable ending. The even bigger problem is there’s barely enough heat to melt an ice cube. L*uriver is frigid. Merlance is better, but they certainly aren’t an inferno.

“Betrayal” does an excellent job of highlighting all the love triangle problems which plague Season 1. We’re all waiting for L*urel to see that Oliver is a changed man. If only she knew he was The Hood! Her anger and hurt over Sara blinds her ability to see those changes. He needs to wear the mask, so L*urel can see who Oliver truly is. God that sounds good doesn’t it?

IT’S NOT GOOD.

Sara was a symptom of much bigger problems between L*urel and Oliver. He did not want to be with L*urel, so he blew their relationship up in a fairly spectacular display of self sabotage.

Why doesn’t Oliver want to be with L*urel? Well... welcome to Oliver’s mind. He’s been asking himself that same question for the last five years. If he wanted to be with L*urel then he would have never left town. He would have never cheated on her with Sara. Then Sara would be alive. His father would be alive. EVERY ounce of guilt Oliver Queen carries is connected to that one single choice of leaving L*urel.

So, it’s fairly easy to understand why Oliver thinks being with L*urel will fix everything. If he can fix things with L*urel then he’s truly forgiven. It washes away the sins of the past. It’s like it never happened. At this point, this is what Oliver wants more than ANYTHING. He can’t bring Sara or Robert back. But he can resuscitate his dead relationship with his ex-girlfriend. Close enough. The man isn’t choosey after five years of misery.

Unfortunately, Oliver hasn’t changed at all when it comes to L*urel Lance. Oh I know BUT THE HOOD. Listen y’all, throwing on leather accessories and playing Robin Hood doesn’t equate to relationship therapy. Sorry writers. I need more than crime fighting to believe Oliver can be the perfect boyfriend now.

He continues to make all the same mistakes. OLIVER IS STILL LYING TO L*UREL. He lies to her every day. He lies when he’s wearing the hood. He lies when he’s not wearing the hood. LIES LIES LIES LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIESS. Oliver continues to hide who he truly is from L*urel. Different outfit. Same problems.

This brings us to SO. MUCH. MISOGYN. Lance is using the phone The Hood gave L*urel to trap him. Whenever we are looking at betrayal and the Lance family it’s important to grade on a curve. It’s a dirty move on Quentin’s part, but far from the gold medal of betrayals this family achieves.

Source: @laurelsource

Everyone finds out that L*urel is working with the Hood and by everyone I mean Tommy. Quentin follows L*urel with a battalion of police officers to her meeting with The Hood. He’s gathered information on a newly released crime boss, Cyrus Vanch. When Oliver realizes they’ve been busted he holds L*urel by the throat as cover so he can jump off the roof. BuT tHeIr LoVe Is iS hEaLtHy.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

As L*urel rants to her current boyfriend (yes I use the word “current” on purpose), he pieces together that she’s been lying to him about working with The Hood.

Source: THEARROWGIFS:

L*urel: He's been lying to me for weeks.

Tommy: Yeah feels like crap doesn't it?

Are we surprised L*urel fails to see the hypocrisy in her little rant?

We are not. This is why Tommy was always the better man for L*urel. He actually had a pair and would call her on her BS. Oliver was incapable of doing until well into Season 2, but I digress.

So, Tommy goes to his best friend Oliver for relationship advice. I know this is a television show, but why in the ever living mother of Zeus do L*urel and Tommy think OLIVER is the best person to ask for relationship advice?

Oliver: Tommy, every time you want to talk to me about something, and that something is L*urel, you look like you’re about to tell me you have some terminal disease.

Me: He does have a terminal disease. It’s called L*URIVER.

Tommy: She’s been working with The Hood guy.

Oliver: What? You’re letting her work with that crazy person? She could get hurt Tommy.

Tommy: I’m not letting her do anything. I only just found out about it.

I know this episode aired in 2012, but talk about some patriarchal bullshit. The entire episode is filled with language like this. Quentin, Oliver, Tommy and The Hood all act like L*urel needs their permission to go to the bathroom. New flash fellas: If L*urel wants to engage in nightly rendezvous with a serial killer that’s her business.

L*urel says something to similar effect, but is summarily blown off by whatever male she’s speaking to. She meets up with The Hood after he and Lance save her from Cyrus Vanch.

Source: BJ-HUNNICUTTS-BLOG

It seems The Hood didn’t think through all the ways talking to L*urel on a phone and meeting her secretly on rooftops would put her in danger.

Source: BJ-HUNNICUTTS-BLOG

L*urel: I knew the risks.

The Hood: Now I know them and I’m not willing to take them with you.

L*urel: What does that mean?

It means he wants to bone you, L*urel. Get a clue.

Holy hell, these conversations make her look stupid. L*urel, do you know a lot of six foot men with similar build and facial hair to Oliver Queen?

Maybe she would take issue with his infantilizing if she stopped speaking like a three year old whenever The Hood is around.

Source: LAURELSOURCE

She has this dazed expression too. I know L*urel is so overwhelmed with all the ATTRACTION and LUST that her eyes dilate and the bosom heaves, but I’m starting to think a taser gun is how they forced Katie do scenes with Stephen.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

The point is nobody is all that interested in L*urel’s agency – INCLUDING L*UREL. I understand “secret identity” is a very common trope in hero’s stories, but it never makes any sense to me. Shouldn’t the “true love” be the first person to know who the hero is and not the last? Oliver keeps saying he can’t tell the people he loves who he truly is because it will put them in danger. So, he doesn’t care if Diggle gets killed? His logic makes no sense. If this was truly about protecting people then why did he need a partner?

And no – you can’t use John can protect himself. We just watched L*urel throw down with that umbrella. She was lethal.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

Oliver is the king of compartmentalization. He does not know how to merge his two selves yet. He cannot fathom showing Thea, Moira, Tommy and L*urel his darkest self because that means being honest about what happened the five years he was away and what it did to him. That will be a hard pass from our leather clad hero.

My other issue with the love triangle (in addition to all the lying and misogyny) is Oliver comes off like an asshole. He manipulates Tommy with statements like, "L*urel is lying? That doesn't seem like her” and “ have an honest chat with her” like there is something in their relationship causing her to lie or that Tommy is responsible for L*urel’s behavior. He’s slowly pecking away at the Merlance walls until it crumbles. DIRTY POKER OLIVER QUEEN.

But then we arrive at this gross fest:

Tommy: There’s some sort of infatuation thing going on here. We both know that she has a pretty strong track record of being attracted to guys who are dangerous, who break the rules. Show me a more dangerous rule breaker than The Hood.

Oliver: I just think you need to have an honest chat with her. Find out the real reason she’s keep secrets.

Tommy: I just can’t believe that L*urel of all people would lie to my face. I guess that’s the way it is with the people you are closest to.

Oliver: I know, but talk to her anyway. And fix this before it becomes something that’s unfixable.

Did this conversation actually happen?

Does anyone else find it weird that Tommy and Oliver psychoanalyze L*urel’s dating preferences?

And even weirder they are ACCURATE?

Credit where credit is due. L*urel likes bad boys right up until they become good boys. Then she’s off to find the next asshole that will lie, cheat and disappoint her. (We could do an entire novel’s worth of L*urel Lance’s toxic dating choices).

Even worse, Tommy concludes she has the hots for The Hood like it’s nothing. Like it’s completely normal and okay behavior.

Holy hell man! Tommy, maybe L*urel has beaten any self respect into the ground, but IT’S OK TO EXPECT YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO NOT BE INFATUATED WITH OTHER MEN.

What’s really gross is Oliver lies straight to Tommy’s face (no differently than L*urel did) while using the secret identity to engage in inappropriate flirting with his best friend’s girlfriend. He uses the hood to say things to L*urel that he would NEVER say as Oliver Queen. And L*urel never tells The Hood she has a boyfriend or to back off. In fact, she encourages the behavior. THIS. IS. CHEATING. Maybe not physical, but it sure is emotional.

Let’s also never forget L*urel started sleeping with Tommy as a way to stick it to Oliver. She wasn’t expecting to develop real feelings for Tommy, and I do believe she loves him, but that doesn’t erase the toxicity of this cycle that somebody needs to end.

There’s just no good here, my friends.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

The writers are relying on an empty “they are supposed to be together” promise without providing any evidence why. Neither L*urel nor Oliver has changed in a meaningful way to support giving their relationship another try. The problem between them wasn’t whether or not Oliver fought street crime. The problem was honesty. Between all the lying and just-on-the-line cheating, I’d argue they bring out the worst in each other. Nuclear winter has better chemistry. Need I go on?

Ok. I will.

The only one who has shown any growth is Tommy. This is change L*urel encouraged in Tommy, but then he became dependable and honest, so she started lusting after The Hood. Both Oliver and L*urel are lying to him about a variety of things. With friends like these who needs enemies?

L*urel is treated like some prize, but is she a prize they really want to win? Neither man is given a reason to love L*urel beyond she’s who they are supposed to want.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

Don’t get me wrong. I am a Merlance shipper, but it is hard to root for their ship at this point. If the writers just left them alone and let them be adorable then it would be fine.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

BUT. THEY. KEEP. INSERTING. OLIVER.

And where is L*urel’s character? We’re thirteen episodes in and she’s too busy flip flopping personalities for me to nail her down to one specifically. For arguments sake, let’s say the hot and cold behavior IS one of her main traits. It only surfaces in relation to Oliver. L*urel flips on him which causes her to flop on Tommy. L*urel’s actions are simply a reaction to Oliver. That’s not agency. That’s a prop.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

It’s almost like the writers can’t be bothered with more. She’s a justice seeking, self sacrificing attorney who works pro bono. TA DA! Character is complete. Nothing more to see here!

Well, if that’s the criteria then why isn’t Joanna in the running for hero’s true love? Throw Annie Ilonzeh in a room with Stephen Amell. Let’s see if the chemistry is any better.

The writers haven’t constructed L*urel’s character beyond a hockey puck for Tommy and Oliver to pass to each other until we reach the inevitable conclusion of L*urel “choosing” Oliver. It’s like watching a train speed toward a brick wall. I know the crash is coming, but I’m not apprehensive about it or grotesquely fascinated or even scared. I’m just want out of this Bermuda Triangle.

Quentin and L*urel

The only real interesting facet of L*urel’s character is her relationship with her father. I love the raw pain between them. It is always just under the surface. The writers throw those problems like grenades in their scenes together. Katie isn’t given much to work with, but her best material is always with Paul Blackthorne.

Source: LAURELSOURCE

Quentin using his daughter as bait was brilliant, but shadey. Super shadey. It also had the unintended consequence of getting her kidnapped by a mob boss. Oops. I sort of love that Quentin had to eat crow and call The Hood for help once he figured out there was a dirty cop feeding Vance information.

L*urel is in a rage after being held hostage by The Hood. (He can use her as a human shield because he loves her. No problems here. Nope nope nope!) Quentin really hoped L*urel would appreciate his fine detective work, but she’s pretty pissed off about all the guns pointed at her. She feels her father has lost his perspective on this particular case.

L*urel: Are you gonna find another criminal? Someone else to blame for mom leaving, for Sara dying, for your drinking?

The gloves come off! Daaaaaamn. The booze? We’re going there? Meow.

I agree Quentin Lance has an addictive personality. He directs his rage and grief into an outlet he can control. Hmm… who else does that?

However, L*urel’s indignation is a little much. She is cavorting with a known criminal. The same criminal her father is investigating. L*urel does nothing to help the investigation and one could argue she impedes the investigation. This is called obstruction of justice, Counselor. L*urel actually commissioned the crime The Hood is perpetrating this week, so she could also be charged as an accessory after the fact. Maybe even aiding and abetting. So, her horror at the police pointing guns at her is somewhat ludicrous. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.

Source: LAURELSOURCE

L*urel spends much of the episode fighting the rampant patriarchy and misogyny of the men around her by firmly accepting the danger of working with the vigilante. She is prepared to take those risks.

Source: LAURELSOURCE

But then L*urel is appalled the second she’s put in any danger and holds all the men responsible for not keeping her safe.

She can be mad her dad lied to her, but stop clutching the pearls. If L*urel wants to play the vigilante game then she is going to be used as bait and occasionally get kidnapped. That’s what everyone means by danger, girl. You’re either in or you’re out. If you’re in then you don’t get to blame anyone else for danger knocking on your door. Own your choices honey. THY NAME IS AGENCY.

Oliver and Diggle

This is week 323 of Diggle arguing that Moira is guilty as sin and Oliver ignoring the massive pile of evidence supporting that belief.

Ok, it hasn’t been that many weeks, but it feels like it. Thou Shall Not Question Diggle. He is always right, but Oliver digs his stubborn heels in. So, John offers to drive Moira around for a week and bugs her. As one does.

Oliver: You bugged my mother?

This is how OTA shows their love, Oliver. Diggle knows Moira is a slippery snake and can wiggle out of any question Oliver asks her. She even burns the copy of the List Felicity gave him after Oliver confronts her with it.

Moira insists she never associated with the people in Robert’s book and knew it only as a list of people who owed him favors. Oliver believes his mother is trying to protect her children from Walter’s fate.

So, John gets Moira ON TAPE discussing The Undertaking with Malcolm Merlyn and the sabotage of Robert Queen’s boat.

We’re going to ignore that Moira’s voice is perfectly identifiable, but Merlyn’s is about ten octaves lower. The point is these are information diamonds Diggle unearths and Oliver FINALLY agrees to pay his mother a visit as The Hood.

Flashbacks

The best part of the flashbacks is meeting all the people who helped Oliver Queen become The Hood.

Source: @olivergifs

Hello Slade Wilson! He’s a massively important character in Arrow and it is fun to rewatch how he came into Oliver’s life.

Slade and his partner, the man who tortured Oliver, are Australian Intelligence who came to Lian Yu to free Yao Fei. Slade and Yao Fei have been monitoring an air field so they can escape the island, but he cannot take it alone. There is always a reason behind all of Yao Fei’s actions, but it takes Slade a minute to figure out why he sent Oliver.

Slade: You have no skill. No strength. No training. To say you fight like a girl would be a compliment.

I’m equally indignant and amused by that line. Slade doesn’t believe Oliver will be any help to him because well… he met him. If Oliver is ever captured again he could reveal Slade’s location. So, he decides to behead Oliver. It’s the nice thing to do. It won’t hurt a bit. What can I say guys? It’s Lian Yu! These are how the memories are made.

Oliver dislocates his shoulder and punches Slade in a vain attempt to defend himself. Yao Fei may be a softer judge of character, but he’s not wrong about Oliver’s survival instinct. Slade sees the fight in Oliver’s eyes and finally understands why Yao Fei sent him. They need Oliver to survive as much as he needs them. He might not be much to look at now, but Slade Wilson is just the man to harness Oliver’s will and turn him into the fighter they all need him to become.

Stray Thoughts

David Anders is like my personal Kevin Bacon. He's in everything I watch. #Arrow #TVD #Alias #OUAT

I was never all that jazzed when L*urel was the damsel in distress and I love that crap. Another clue I didn't ship it. Source: LAURELSOURCE

Do people on this show not realize you can’t touch evidence? JFC.

Twenty four arrows in the quiver. Good to know.

“It doesn’t mean I have to read the bastard his rights though.” IF YOU WANT THE CHARGES TO STICK YOU DO.

I am so confused on what type of law L*urel practices. Her firm works for a victim’s advocacy group, but she also prosecutes criminal cases. This feels like a radiologist performing heart surgery.

KC is just really bad at action scenes. It's always so awkward.

Musings of the Kiddo

Kiddo: Does he ever run out of arrows?

Me: He has extra in the car.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me.

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

#arrow #arrow review #arrow 1x13 #arrow reviews #anti laurel lance #anti lauriver #merlance #anti katie cassidy #quentin lance #arrow rewatch #arrow season 1 #season 1 episode review #season 1 episode reviews #tommy merlyn

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bloody-wonder · 4 years ago

Note

Every time I come across one of those posts or fics about how Andrew should feel bad about choking Kevin/how it was bad writing for Nora to have Andrew do it, it always seems to be Kevin superfans who are upset that Kandreil didn’t make it into the final draft. And every time I’m just baffled. How can people possibly feel so slighted by the exclusion of a pairing that Nora has said wouldn’t have made sense or been healthy in the final story anyway? The entitlement is just ridiculous

wowowow some juicy unpopular opinions are on the menu today!

i have a lot to say so buckle up. it’s gonna be one of those rants.

i have answered an ask about choking already. to sum it up: is choking kevin an acceptable mature way to express frustration at your bf being kidnapped by the mafia? no. is it in character for andrew? yes. will andrew apologize for it? no. will he and kevin still be friends? yes.

first of all, i personally don’t see why kandreil would be unhealthy. i haven’t read nora’s statement about it but she didn’t elaborate, did she? it would be interesting to know why she thinks so but that’s unlikely to happen seeing as every word she utters about the characters she created gets her unproportional amounts of hate.

that being said, i totally see why kandreil would be out of character for the versions of kevin, neil and andrew that we see in the books. the relationships between kevin and the other two are certainly intense but i wish i didn’t have to suggest in the year of our lord 2020 that relationships can be intense without being sexual or romantic.

lets look at neil who’s canonically demi which means he has to have a profound emotional bond with a person in order to feel something like that for them. he has developed this bond with andrew throughout the books because they have similar backgrounds and are uniquely positioned to understand each other but more importantly because neil was put in a situation where he had to constantly actively communicate with andrew. andreil dialogues take up a large part of the books and enable us to see how andreil develops and works. nothing comparable happens between neil and kevin. they have a different dynamic altogether where neil looks up to kevin in the beginning for his exy skills and in turn kevin looks up to neil in the end for his being feisty in the face of imminent doom skills. neil chose to throw his anonymity away in order to stand up for kevin at kathy’s show which must mean he values kevin a lot, but he also antagonized him throughout the books, faulted him for not getting over his trauma in a timely manner and said the meanest things to him. a great and complex dynamic by all means. i have no complaints whatsoever and certainly don’t see them falling in love.

now lets look at andrew who isn’t aspec and has probably checked kevin out seeing as kevin is conventionally attractive. kevin & andrew is one of the most complex and interesting relationships i’ve ever seen in fiction. when we first encounter them their interactions are so intense that many readers (and neil) have interpreted them as a couple (because like i said before we tragically live in a society where tension is always seen as sexual). kevin and andrew met at such a time in their lives when they sorely needed something only the other was able to give: for kevin it was someone to stop him from returning to an abusive environment and for andrew it was someone who could see his real potential and worth behind his hostile manic exterior. so they started this weird co-dependent non-friendship which didn’t turn into anything else because - my big guess - neither of them wanted it to. andrew knows when he wants to fuck someone and knows how to arrange it but he didn’t with kevin because he already was a more important person to him than, for example, roland. the risks outweighed the benefits. but andrew did “arrange” it with neil probably because neil had something to offer which kevin had not. unlike kevineil where extensive relationship development had to take place in order for it to happen, kandrew could happen just because one of them suggested it. but guess what neither of them did and it’s canon. i for one am very happy that this unique exciting relationship wasn’t spoiled by romance.

finally lets look at kevin who isn’t a pov character like neil nor a character who’s constantly in neil’s focus of attention like andrew. we don’t have a comparable amount of information about kevin’s inner world so we have to surmise a lot of it just based on what neil cared to impart. so naturally the interpretations will differ. i personally see no signs of kevin being attracted to any person or any gender at any point in the books. there’s thea of course but she’s such an obvious last minute addition that i don’t even want to consider her. the kevin i know is living his best life as an unmarried childless aroace exy legend surrounded by friends and family and friends who are family. i’m aroace and imagining kevin single and happy is very important to me. it’s probably equally important to kandreil shippers to see some good polyamorous rep which is only slightly less rare in media than aroace rep. but the difference between me and kandreil shippers is that i have a magical ability to disagree with the author without cursing the very earth she walks upon.

ah yes, another difference is of course that they have an argument set in stone - kandreil was canon in earlier drafts. but do you know what else was there in the earlier drafts? jean was dead in them. so was erik in some of them which made nicky a different person altogether. also i distinctly remember nora writing that she has been developing this story for so long that she has shipped all the possible pairings at some point or another. kandreil aren’t special in that sense. what i am getting at is that in order to have a productive discussion we have to choose a particular draft of the story and stick to it, so if it’s a kandreil draft we have to know what else was different in that version, and if it’s the books then well kandreil isn’t canon in them end of story.

that of course doesn’t mean that people can’t write absolutely stellar kandreil fanfics but it does mean that they have to dial down what you called “the entitelment”. because aftg means different things to different readers and if you insult the author for writing it the way you don’t like you also insult the readers who see themselves represented in the way the story is written. and kandreil fans are so aggressive. it’s smart of you sending the ask on anon cause otherwise they’d come for you so fast you wouldn’t know what hit you. just the other day i saw a post which basically said that the reason kevin is portrayed in fics in such a reductive way and writers don’t know what to do with him except make fun of his exy obsession and alcoholism is because andreil is built on the bones of kandreil and, being excluded from this relationship by the author, kevin can never be happy. this take right here illustrates very clearly that the shipping culture damages human brain in such a way that a fulfilling life outside a romantic relationship becomes inconcievable. fic writers diminish kevin to those things not because nora decided she wants her final draft to be about andreil, but because most of them aren’t able to write about a character unless they’re in a relationship. maybe some day fanfiction will develop past that but today is not that day.

i have read some kandreil fanfiction to see what the fuss is all about and my expert opinion is that all of it is ooc. clearly in order for kandreil to happen some manipulations with the existing characters have to be made. i consider myself a kevin superfan but i mean the kevin as he is in the books (and in my awesome hc). the kevin in kandreil fics i don’t know, he’s a character from a book i didn’t read so he can do whatever and date whoever, i don’t care either way. i only care when people insult the books, andreil or nora because they’re bitter that their ship isn’t canon. what a way to live in the year of our lord 2020.

#asks #aftg mine #kevin day #andrew minyard #neil josten #all for the game #i won't hesitate to block people #so before writing something in the notes #think about whether you actually have something meaningful to say #aftg ask

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escritorian · 4 years ago

Text

How to (not) be an Adventurer by Althea Dawnwind Chapter 2 - Role models

All right, so I figure if he’s going to hear all this the first time around, anyway, I may as well keep recording. Or...asking him to transcribe, I guess. We talked about it.

While I take no offence to your choice of pronouns, I feel I should remind you I have no gender.

Gotcha. Sorry.

No need to apologize.

Thanks. Still sorry. Wait, so is all this side commentary getting transcribed, too?

Yes.

Lovely. Perfect. All right, whatever. Let’s go.

So there are a bunch of new people at the house. Most of them are super cool, but one of them’s a total creeper.

Predictably, Julia’s hot into the creeper. (Ugh, her taste) But whatever. Her romantic graveyard. Let her dig it. Besides, I’m sure Galen would never let this guy actually hurt Julia. (If he could actually hurt Julia). It does make me wonder about why he lets this skeezeball travel with him, though. I mean, I guess he’s not always the most perceptive, but-

Whatever. I’m getting off topic.

Can journals be said to have an incorrect topic, properly?

Shush. Anyway, they were all just here, suddenly, talking about the pact and my plague and my future. I wanted to scream, but I was just so tired and scared. I think I’d have accepted anything that gave me hope at that point.

Okay. No. Wait. Not anything. They were saying in some alternate past (?), they thought I was about to make a pact with some god of entropy? And honestly, that just sounds bad all around. Like sure, okay, I was pretty sure mine wasn’t one of those cases of spell plague you live through, you know? But some things are just worse than death.

Honestly, I was- am really offended that they thought so little of me. Okay not “they,” really. I barely even know most of them, but Galen…I really though at least he’d have some respect for my integrity. I thought maybe he could see me as more than just the little sister who needs protecting and can’t be trusted to make her own decisions I only even made this pact because everyone seemed so sure it was my best shot. And I- I mean, I wanted to live. Guilty, okay? Who doesn’t?

I felt the same, Althea

Yeah. So… yeah.

It is not wrong to wish or fight for life.

Thanks, Sha- uh, do you have like, a nickname I can use or anything?

Shadhavar is the only name I have ever known.

Wow, that’s…kind of sad. For the record, you can call me Thea. It’s what everyone in the family calls me.

I thank you, Thea.

Ha. Ummm. I was about to say I was smiling, you know, to transcribe it? The idea? Feeling? But, what is it, really? Can you even smile here?

There is no physical form or structure here to demarcate itself into what you call a smile. The underlying ideas and feelings that cause the smile, however, can be recorded.

Oh. Cool. I mean, no really. Seriously. Cool. Anyway, what was I saying?

Is this question rhetorical?

Um, yes? I mean it was, but you can- you know.

Those who found me presented you the possibility of a pact.

Yeah, that’s pretty much it, and I said yes.

Do you regret having done so?

Pfff, no. I’m not going to pretend I understand the full implications of having formed a soul bond with an ancient, sentient sword-bridge-focus thing born from both the feywild and the shadowfell? But it’s for serious better than the alternative. I can say that with total confidence right now.

Anyway, most of Galen’s new friends seemed like they really cared for me despite having just met me. It was weird, but also kind of nice? Oh! And Galen’s girlfriend. (!) Apparently she left after everyone else but flew here the whole way to catch up!

Bad.

Ass.

And they all helped him defeat a death priest (or something) who was after me. I mean, okay. Julia helped. That…doesn’t count for nothing, I guess. I know mom and Nicon have trained her a lot and she’s freelanced a bit without telling mom. But now I have this whole group that seems like they’re sticking around for a bit? And maybe giving me some lessons?

This. Is going. To rule.

I also intend to provide you with instruction regardless of anyone else’s actions.

Really?!

Yes.

That’s…Ioun’s Wisdom, I don’t even know what to say! This is…am I going to cry? Fuck. No. I’m not going to start crying in here. Quick. Help me out.

Focus your mind on a task. You’ve mentioned these friends of your brother, but only just. Describe them.

Y-yeah. *sniff* Okay, yeah.

Breathe deeply and slowly.

Nono, I’m okay. It’s okay. Thanks. I’ve got this. Okay, strong feelings first. Let’s start with that creeper.

So, Creeper Creepzoidington is basically like a broody shadow who shoots everyone dirty looks, and I don’t say he’s a shadow because he’s drow. Like, that’d be rude and also really inaccurate. I say it cause this guy loves shadows. Like, he loooves them - practically lives in them. They’re his home and they keep him safe and warm. Nicon says he’s already stolen from them, and I think the only time I’ve heard him talk was to swear. So yeah, whatever his deal is, I am not training with him.

Then there’s this other drow, Phaedra. I mean, I only point out they’re drow because they’re supposed to be really rare. Surface elves are, too, but not as much? And I think I’ve only ever seen one of them. And now? Bam. 3 drow. More than I thought I’d ever met in my life, and everyone’s reaction has pretty much been, “Oh, hm! What a perfectly normal occurrence!” It's just a little bit surprising.

Anyway, Phaedra, she’s about as different from Slimeus Slimeballius as you can get. She’s really elegant and nice. She came by later that night to see how I was doing. I didn’t feel much like talking, so…um…I didn’t, but she was really calm and polite about it. I could tell she knew I wasn’t really fine, but she didn’t press it. She just…did her best to be reassuring then left me alone. I kind of didn’t want her to go, but I appreciate that she did.

And how she moves! I mean, okay, so that probably sounds weird, but you should see her! She’s like floating silk or flowing water. She doesn’t even seem human, sometimes. Well, I mean, she’s not human, but you know what I mean. She’s just ridiculously graceful, like she’s dancing in slow motion all the time, and my brain wants to learn the secret to it so much it can’t look away. So yeah, her I would totally train with.

Then there’s this younger drow, Tsabura. (Tsubara? Someone keeps messing up her name, and it’s really throwing me off.) I thought she might’ve been be their kid or something, but even without speaking the language, I picked up that was not the case real quick. She’s super cute but really quiet, and – I mean, I don’t know if the same standards culturally apply (nor am I sure whether or not it’s rude to consider that) - she has such nice skin. She seriously just glows. Her skin is literally, physically lustrous. But she’s just so angry. Like, all the time. Also? Really sad. I hope we can be friends. I guess that’s a bit random, but it’d be great to have someone to relate to on a different level while on the road (more on that later), and maybe having a friend will help her not be so sad and angry.

It's weird, though. Like, no one’s saying anything about her, but she doesn’t seem like she’s been taking lessons from anyone, and she was pretty much dressed in rags? Mom tried to give her some of my old clothes, but that didn’t go so well. Maybe that’s why she’s in rags. Or maybe it’s a religious thing? Either way, I should probably stop calling them rags. When I tried talking to her, she barely even looked at me. Honestly, I’m not sure I didn’t just imagine the brief glances she did give me, either. I just...I want to know why she’s deliberately making herself so distant. It’s like a mystery my brain needs to solve.

Moving on, there’s this really cheerful gnome named Tielka. She’s...interesting. She’s covered in armor and has a sword that drips frost but somehow seems super approachable? Paradoxically, that makes me kind of nervous to approach her. She also sounded really smart. So I guess she’s...what? A friendly warrior scholar? I don’t know. I mean, the image I’d always had of paladins is super stiff and serious, all thees and thous, but this? It’s a weird vibe. I mean, she looks like she’s 20, but she’s got this really motherly aura making me unsure if I want to befriend her or make sure she doesn’t catch me at mischief, so she’s got that, “inspiring the best behavior in others” thing down, I guess.

She’s also got a huge dog named Axle with the best leg. I mean, omigosh, okay. So his natural leg would’ve been the best leg, of course, but out of potential replacements? This thing is, literally, divine. Like, it’s full of clockwork, but it makes almost 0 noise, and it moves with him. It doesn’t just sit there. I really want to know how it works. I mean, I’m guessing the answer will be something like 50% divinity, 40% magic and 10% mechanics, but still.

And then there’s Max. I’m getting to her last, but she’s easily the biggest personality of the group. (As befits a bard.) She’s pretty much the polar opposite of Broody Broodfacerson. She’s super friendly. She’s always smiling the brightest smile. She has a siren’s voice and sings all the time. She has a whole troop of animals who follow her around, all of whom I’m pretty sure she actually talks to. (I think they’re all named Annie for some reason?) And she’s so pretty. Seriously, everything she does is extra charming. There’s just something about how she moves, how she talks. Just like, everything she does is so captivating. There must be some lesson on mannerisms in bard college that teaches you how to keep people’s eyes on you cause there are like hooks on her gestures that grab the brain and don’t let go. Basically, what I’m saying is she definitely made the right career choice. Honestly, I wish she were a little quieter, but, well, no one can have everything, you know?

sighs

“You know.” I have to stop that.

This is your fifth time using that phrase in this entry.

Fuuuck, really?!

Yes. Would you like me to alert you when you use it?

Nooo. I mean- auuugh, Vecna blind it! Yes. Yes, please do.

Very well.

Thanks. Anyway, moving on...actually, I think that’s about it.

Oh! And Galen. But you know about Galen. Well, I know about Galen, but will you, hypothetical/theoretical mystery future person, know about Galen? I guess I should talk about Galen. I mean, honestly, though, it feels like it’s enough to say he’s the best oldest brother anyone could want. Aforementioned rudeness aside, that is. He’s just, I mean, he’s always giving me his time and teaching me the most interesting things, and he’s smart enough The Academy was too slow for him. So he just, you know, decided to go adventuring and-

That’s six times.

What?

That you’ve used the phrase, “you know.”

Ugggghhhh. All right, you know what? My brain’s clearly tired. He’s great, and I might end up going adventuring with him, which would be the best. The end.

…

Sooo, how do I stop...

You can do so in the same manner as you did last time.

Yeah, I’m not really sure what I did last time.

You need simply to “feel” your intent to stop.

Okay, so kind of like-

#That Which Once had Never Been #Althea brain journals #althea dawnwind #julia dawnwind #galen dawnwind #antiope dawnwind #the dawnwinds

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deandeclan · 4 years ago

Text

TRIAL CLAIM FORM

It seems as though we are in a time of trial claims lately. It’s exciting to see. With this form having been looked over by the administration and the necessary filing completed, I am happy to announce that this trial claim has been approved. Congratulations.

Effective immediately MEREDITH FABRAY will move into THEA BAKER’s accommodations.

Name(s) and Age(s) of Dominant or Switch: Thea Baker, 37

Name(s) and Age(s) of Switch or Submissive: Meredith Fabray, 30

Education Completed:

THEA: A complete education at Devereux, and five years teaching experience.

MEREDITH: 3 full years of Devereux as a Switch. Still in year one as a Submissive.

Length of Relationship:

Since reconnecting, five months. However, they’ve known each other much longer than that, dating back to when they were both students. They roomed together, and carried on a relationship for almost a year and a half before Meredith entered her trial claim with Henry. That trial claim as well as Meredith’s mark both contributed to the end of that relationship and their falling out of contact.

Why would you like to enter into a trial claim?

THEA: I have stayed away from claims all of this time because I’ve never been in a place or with a person when it felt like the right thing to do. When I could trust myself completely with another person, and embrace one side of my mark over the other while knowing that the person in question would be willing to let me explore the other side at my leisure. Meredith Fabray is that person. We were students together, we were roommates together. Now we’ve become something more together. I know her as well as I know myself, and I believe that we’re ready to take this next step together. She is the person that I both trust to have in my life and am honored to be a part of hers. We’ve both lived our lives alone, and I believe that we’ve both discovered that they’re better lived together.

MEREDITH: Everything feels right. Finally. It feels the most right when I am with Mistress Thea. Knowing I belong to her gives me this sense of joy and stability that, I can say with certainty, I’ve never experienced before. When I got my remark it was definitely a shock to the system but in the best way possible. I think I’ve always known that a big piece of my heart stayed here with Mistress Thea when I left. I want to enter into this trial claim because I honestly can’t see myself belonging to anyone else. She’s taken this journey with me of rediscovering myself and who I truly am. I feel like we learn and grow together so well, as we always did. I want to explore life with her every day for the rest of my days.

Do you feel you know your partner well enough on a personal level?

THEA: I supposed I should have rambled less about this in my previous answer, but yes. Our time as roommates was one of the most influential of my life. When I made a friend who I believed I would know all my life, and that friend became more. I know that spicy food comforts us both. I know that in her little space she likes an elephant onesie and the stuffie that I bought her. I know that when she’s cold in her sleep she makes little snuffling noises that only stop when a blanket’s put over her. She knows things about my family that I’ve never told anyone else, and I know the same about hers. I don’t know that, outside of her own family, there’s anyone in the world who knows Meredith the way that I do. And in the five months since our reconnection I’ve been privileged to learn more about what her needs are as a submissive and what I can do as a Domme to help fulfill them. We’ll never stop learning, but I believe I know her well enough to claim her.

MEREDITH: I believe I do. When we were roomies back in the day I made it my mission to know anything and everything there was to know about Mistress Thea. We know each other’s favorite things, likes, dislikes, food preferences, allergies, fears, dreams, quirks, pet peeves. I know her family history and she knows mine. Though some of that has shifted, as things do over time, most of it has stayed the same. We’ve both grown since then and this time together has been spent getting to fill in the blanks. I now know my Domme’s wants and needs as her submissive, not just as her roommate, lover and friend. I never believed that I would sync with someone to this extent where I intuitively feel what they need and react accordingly. It’s been an eye opening experience. I love learning more about her and about us each time I see her.

Do you feel as though you have learned enough about you and your partners limits and expectations of the relationship as a whole?

THEA: I do. Between our time as roommates and the period since our reconnection, I’ve seen the evolution of Meredith’s limits and expectations. I know what will make this relationship work for her, and I know what she expects of me in it. We have established clear and honest communication, and that’s never faltered at any point. I know that in each of mental states from little to big there are things she needs and requires of me in this relationship, and I am always prepared to give them. I believe that I can fulfill her expectations and needs without ever pushing against her limits - at least without further discussion beforehand.

MEREDITH: I know that my Mistress’ hard limits as both a Domme and a sub are scat, vore, permanent marks, and excessive blood- with the addition of watersports as a submissive. Her safeword is Daily. I know one concern that Mistress has always had, not just in our relationship, but in general, is that she is a true Switch. She doesn’t lean one way or another. I love that about her. I’ve made it clear from the beginning that I am all in. I know who she is and I accept all of her. I know she has the need to submit just as much as she has the need to see me on my knees for her. I know what she expects from me and I am more than happy to meet those expectations. We are still discovering things as our relationship grows, so sometimes expectations shift but we have open and honest communication always.

Do you feel you both are well versed in what a claim will be outside of the trial period?

THEA: I should certainly hope so. Not only did my parents, bless them, have a solid claim, but I’ve been teaching years worth of students what a claim looks like and what to expect and know in order to build a solid foundation for one. I understand the real world ramifications of a permanent claim, and the weight and importance that comes along with one. I know what would be expected of me in the real world as well as what would be expected of Meredith, and I know that we’re both capable of doing all that a legal claim requires of us.

MEREDITH: Yes. I’ve been in one. Although I was on the Dominant side of that claim, I know what a claim looks like in the real world. I understand it from both personal perspective of experience as well as studying the law and all the legalities surrounding it. I realize the importance and responsibility that comes along with such a union. Unfortunately, I also now know the signs that a claim isn’t working. I believe Mistress Thea and I would be capable of going forward with such an important legal bond and would only continue to grow and thrive together.

Do you believe you are comfortable enough with each other and the fundamental levels of BDSM as a whole?

THEA: I do. I never got the chance to learn BDSM at home, because I spent too much of my childhood trying to recover what was mine from a guardian who was only ever interested in my money and not the education I should have been having. But I was absolutely lucky to attend Devereux, and learn from the best Academy in the country from the ground up. And to have my education not end, but grow when I graduated, becoming a teacher and needing to learn a curriculum that changes every year. I have the chance to debate and discuss with each year of Switch students who come through my doors, and learn from other faculty who are more wise than I could ever be. As for my comfort with Meredith…there isn’t a human being on the planet I’m more comfortable with. No matter what the scene, no matter what we explore together, I know that we will be safe and consensual together. And that she will always be honest with me in the context of BDSM.

MEREDITH: I have never been more comfortable with another person before in my life. With Mistress Thea I feel loved and safe and stable and cared for. I trust her with my heart and with my life. As far as BDSM fundamentals go? Yes. Most definitely. Growing up in the Fabray household you had no choice but to learn about them. My parents claim was the perfect example for nearly everything I strive not to be. That said, my schooling has also taught me a lot. Although I am taking all of my classes as a first year Submissive, I went through three full years of training here at Devereux as a Switch and I didn’t let those years go to waste. I still have binders full of all of my meticulously organized notes from every single class. I’m thrilled I get to take classes I wasn’t able to fit in before and I’m learning so much from them.

Rules

Meredith will address Thea by her title in public at all times.

Meredith will address the students and faculty of Devereux with the proper respect and titles at all times; her presence in little or middle space will not be tolerated as an excuse for violation of rules 1 or 2.

Meredith will be expected to take responsibility for the cleanliness of the apartment

Meredith will be expected to be clean and hygienic

Cooking duties will be split between Thea and Meredith, with Friday nights reserved for takeout.

As such, Meredith’s Friday nights are to be reserved as date nights unless there is a pressing need on either her part or Thea’s to change their plans.

The care and responsibility for any future pet will be Meredith’s.

Should she make plans with others, Thea will be notified of Meredith’s plans at least four hours in advance.

Any plans made by Meredith, outside of family, school, club and sport obligations are subject to Thea’s approval - which may be rescinded as part of a punishment.

Meredith will be expected to start each day by kissing Thea.

Rewards

Meredith will be given a take out order of spicy food, from any restaurant she would like.

Meredith will be allowed to choose a new stuffie to order

Meredith will be allowed to claim Thea’s lunch hour for cuddles.

Meredith will be allowed a scene with no limit on her orgasms.

Meredith will receive new crayons and coloring books for her little self.

Punishments

Meredith will be denied orgasms for a period of three days.

Meredith will have to watch Thea pleasure herself without touching or being involved.

Meredith will be denied lunchtime cuddles.

Meredith, in her middle space, will write lines.

Thea will administer an appropriate number of spanks, between ten and twenty, as the offense dictates.

#trial claim #approved

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austencello · 5 years ago

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Leap of Faith - Arrow Music Notes 8x03

This episode is about family as Oliver and Thea go on a quest to find more about the Monitor (amidst a scavenger hunt with Talia and the Thanatos Guild), Lyla and Diggle rescue their future adopted son, and Mia tries to protect William in her decision to attack the JJ and Deathstroke gang.

Oliver, Thea, and Nanda Parbat

Oliver arrives in Nanda Parbat to ask Nyssa what she knows in League legend about the Monitor and finds Thea alone. Much of the music for Nanda Parbat, the League of Assassins, and Talia in this episode is represented by the duduk, an Armenian wind instrument first used with Nyssa in 2x13 “Heir to the Demon” and percussion, particularly wooden and drums. The duduk starts the episode as the audience is shown that Oliver is in Nanda Parbat and the percussion plays as he fights with someone who is revealed to be Thea.

Oliver and Thea catch up on what has happened over the past year or two as a guitar harmonics and harp version of “I forgot who I was” (1x05) plays in the background. This is a quiet subtle version, using an instrumentation which is rare for this melody but been a part of Oliver’s instruments from the beginning. It harkens to the deep bond they have as siblings with a melody that has been used for their family in both good and painful times. They have had to overcome lies and change with this theme from 1x07 when Moira tells Thea that they have to accept Oliver as he is instead of who he used to be, to 3x03 “Lose you forever” when Oliver tells the truth about their Father killing himself and how much he needs her, to 6x16 when he says goodbye to Thea as she leaves on her quest “Take Good Care of Her.” It is fitting that the same theme that was used for the last time they saw each other should be used as they reconnect. It plays again in cellos with a harp accompaniment as he tells her about his upcoming death. Thea is unfazed since he has cheated death several times but Oliver tries to convince her that this is different. This theme has been used several times with goodbyes: to William, to Thea, to Moira (both in dream and real worlds). Oliver is preparing to say goodbye again.

However, they have a quest to complete first as they find Talia (with ney flute and the duduk) and then they look for the tomb of the first Ra’s. Interesting enough, Talia’s theme was not used in this episode at all. However, one theme that did return was the Ra’s al Ghul theme in the crutales (tuned cymbals) just as it was in Season 3 “Ra’s al Ghul.” This appeared as they found, read, and burned his scroll revealing the ball with the map on it.

After a run-in with the Thanatos Guild, Oliver asks Thea to stay behind which she doesn’t understand. A version of the Arrow theme plays in the piano (Oliver’s instrument) as he tells he that he cares and he is trying to protect her. Piano is used for key emotional moments and reflects both his heroic and depth of concern for anything to happen to Thea. The Arrow theme is heard again, this time in the female voice reflecting back to “The Climb” 3x09 and “Merlyn Brings News” (3x10) as he approaches the mountain where he had been stabbed by Ra’s. The piano Arrow variation plays again as Thea finds Oliver after being knocked out and betrayed by Talia.

Oliver and Thea have another heart-to-heart while climbing up the mountain. This time, “Not Black and White” (4x23) accompanies them as Oliver admits that he questions his decision about leaving his family and that his over-protectiveness was activated by seeing a world destroyed where Thea died because Oliver wasn’t there to help her. His current driving force is to have all the members of his family safe. Thea responds that she had been thinking a lot about their parents and how their decisions in trying to protect their children for the most part failed but yet turned them into the heroes that they are today. Love and family is complicated, accentuated by “Not Black and White” which often plays as Oliver recognizes the schism between darkness and light most frequently in himself, trying to be a hero for others both when he was a mayor and the Green Arrow. It played when he gave a press conference in 5x21 where he shared the truth about his father “Truth about my father” and in Felicity’s speech to William about what it means to watch Oliver being a hero “What your Dad is.” (6x11). Even though their parents were trying to act out of love to protect them, they were also acting out of fear and let darkness take over. However, Oliver and Thea have turned those struggles through darkness into light to protect others throughout the world.

Ra’s theme returns in the crutales as they enter the tomb, low choir sings (also used for the League in more mystical elements) as they open the coffin/crypt and the duduk theme for “The Black Wedding” (3x22) plays as they head toward the Phoenix trying to avoid being burnt up. The duduk (Talia) and harp (Thea) play as Thea challenges Talia to a duel as the Heir of the Demon for the original sword of Ra’s. The duduk plays one last time in the end after Thea defeats Talia as Talia tells her that the sword and what it means is Thea’s destiny. Thea rejects that however to create a League of Heroes as brass and string patterns play, inviting Talia to help her.

Oliver and Thea say goodbye again as Oliver plans to stop the Monitor and Thea goes to create the League of Heroes. As they hug, “Purest Heart” (2x21) plays in the piano and violin. This theme is primarily how Oliver views and loves his sister since Walter told Thea “your brother loves you more than life itself” in 2x21. This is a love reinforced from Oliver himself and reciprocated by Thea: “There has not been a day that I did not cherish you as a sister” (2x21), “I will always see you as my big brother” (Thea to Oliver, 3x03), “I love you. Don’t ever forget that, ok?” (Oliver saying goodbye to Thea in 3x20), and as Oliver visits Thea in the hospital both in 4x12 and 6x01. In this scene, neither one wants to let go from their hug as Oliver believes this is the last time he will see her and while Thea doesn’t want to believe it, she does miss her brother every day. The slow version of the Arrow theme plays in the violins as Oliver and Thea say goodbye possibly for the last time.

Diggle and Lyla

Diggle and Lyla end up on a mission to rescue Connor Turner and his mom. They have a few moments to reflect both on the past and the present. Part-way through the episode, Diggle doesn’t want Lyla to put herself in harm’s way which confuses her since he isn’t usually this cautious. He admits that seeing a universe disappear changed him and that he couldn’t risk losing her. This moment is accompanied by their main love theme in the piano and hammered dulcimer since 3x01 when Sara was born. It played during their proposal in 3x08, Oliver telling them to go on their honeymoon in 3x17, and talking about going on a mission as a second honeymoon in 7x03. This couple has been through many high risk moments from the army to ARGUS but their love still shines through. This theme then returns at the end after they rescued Connor as Lyla asks John to always hold onto the good memories and John responds that he won’t have to because he’s not going anywhere and neither is she.

Future Team Arrow

Meanwhile, Mia decided that the best way to stop JJ and his Deathstroke gang is to attack their lair and go on the offensive. The rest of the team think this is a reckless move but follow her lead. The harp/guitar harmonic combination returns for Mia and William which is a lovely move to use for both generations of Queen siblings. Harp for William and guitar harmonics for Mia. William echoes what Zoe had mentioned earlier in the episode: Mia shouldn’t make her strategy based on the fear of losing her brother. The instrumentation may be familiar but the theme is new as Mia tells him that she can’t lose the only family she has left.

Unfortunately, things end up poorly as Mia gets cut in the neck by JJ and Zoe pushes him out of the way only to be stabbed herself. As she dies in Mia’s arms, she tells Mia to tell her Dad that she loves him. The theme in the piano is “Rene’s Loss” from 5x13, first heard in the flashbacks when Rene discovered his wife was using drugs which led to Rene losing his wife and Zoe put into foster care. It played a few times in Rene and Zoe scenes especially when he was struggling with trying to bring her home in Season 5. The use of the music of what tragically changed their life when the audience first sees Zoe to be used in her death scene is heartbreaking. She went through some bumpy patches with Rene but she always loved her Dad. Not only is it Rene’s loss but a loss to the whole team as they grieve her death.

Harp and future-like high electronics (glissandos up and down) play as Oliver and the Future Team gets beamed into the bunker in 2019, giving it an other world or time sound. The music continues with a version of the Arrow hero theme but mostly filled with string patterns and atmospheric fluid sounds as it leads to a climatic moment as William, Mia and Oliver look at each other in shock.

Extra Notes:

I am so excited for the reunion in the next episode between Mia, William and Oliver!

You can tell this is the end of the series because the lack of accessible gifs is staggering.

@dust2dust34 @dmichellewrites @academyofshipping @herskirtsarentthatshort @smoakmonster @withgraceandlight99 @almondblossomme @jorahandal @green-arrows-of-karamel @ah-maa-zing

#arrow 8x03 #oliver queen #arrow music notes #thea queen #nanda parbat #zoe ramirez #dyla #john diggle #lyla michaels #blake neely #nathaniel bloom

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lands-of-fantasy · 5 years ago

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To Save Our Cities

Oliver's crusade grew, changed, and was bound to outlive him, so he needed to entrust it to others. Here you will find a bunch of his thoughts pre-Crisis as he ponders about his fate, fears, and what he is fighting for, finding strength and happiness among friends and allies and unexpected blessings... The multiverse might have asked a great deal of Oliver Queen, but it didn’t just take. It gifted him too.

I don’t really do fanfic but I felt the Need to write something about Oliver’s feelings in season 8, so... Here are some things going through his mind Pre-Crisis!

(This might be a little messy as I kept adding stuff but here it goes)

……………………………………………..

(Part 1: His people)

Oliver Queen’s life hadn’t been nowhere near “normal” for years but ever since The Monitor the crazy really went next level. As if magic, meta-humans, time travel, aliens, parallel earths and reality-changing forces weren’t enough, now he had a personal deal with some sort of cosmic deity.

His routine suddenly went from hunting down criminals to running mysterious errands across the Earth(s) in hopes of saving them and guarantying a future for his family and friends. His family…he thought with a sigh and a weight on his chest. His kids. He hadn’t spoken to William in months, what with him never responding his calls. Mia had just been born. He barely got any time with her. It seemed cruel of the universe, to take him from his family like that, and leaving things as they were. And Felicity. He missed her. A lot. But she was away with Mia and he had to focus on the now and ahead.

John got to him a while ago, and now they were among their team again. They always had his back, even when he told them not to. He felt a little warmth inside and a tiny smile on the corner of his lips. The tension on his shoulders giving in somewhat. He didn’t have to do this alone. At least not yet.

When exactly did the impossible became mundane in his life? Not much seemed impossible these days. Sometimes he thought it was a curse. But he knew it wasn’t. Just as he had seen supernatural forces threat his city and hurt his friends, he also saw plenty of them who protected, and saved. Even more than he did to be honest, even with all his hard work. Oliver had met all sorts of extraordinary people through his life, super powered or not, but it still amazed him every time he got to know a fellow vigilante. Not only met, but know.

Once he saw that the person under the mask was actually fighting for others, it pleased him. It made him feel at least a little lighter. To know others were out there doing the same as he was. That they cared. He knew the pain and the evil that people with ill intentions or twisted ideas could do to those who could not defend themselves. To know people just as capable - no, even more capable were fighting them made him feel like they could do this. They could keep people safer.

But now the worlds were ending. His family was in danger. Everybody was in danger. This was way beyond everything the they had faced before, and yet, he could still help save them. Except he would die in the process. And then…?

Felicity would look after Mia and William. John would look after Felicity, and vice versa…

Thea. She could look after himself, but she had already lost so much…He sighed, shaking his head. He couldn’t help but worry about his little sister, but he knew how strong she had always been, and how stronger she had become. If she needed support, he knew the others would be there. Even Sara would show up…. And if everything worked out, Roy too. Oliver wished he could help him work out his problems - it pained him to think he couldn't - but this was bigger than them and his time was running out. He had faith in Roy though. And deep down he had a feeling that whatever happened, Thea and Roy would eventually find their way to one another again, and be there for each other. It was a calming thought, really.

Rene and Dinah would be fine too. Basically, the team would take care of the city, and of one another, as always. He still hadn’t told them all, and the ones he did tell were refusing to accept it… Which he knew was proof of their bond, but it worried him too.

Dig was being ever stubborn. Thea refused to take it seriously. He frowned. As if he would be any different if the roles were reversed. But that was the problem. This might make it harder for them later. Losses always are… But they would go on. They all already lived with the loss of loved ones. After all they’ve been through, they could take it. At least this time he warned them. He would tell the others too. Eventually.

And if his sacrifice was only a step towards the end of Crisis…or if long after it was done some other disproportionately big threat appeared… He paused. Those were rather unpleasant thoughts, but they didn’t seem to go long without imminent danger and potential disaster - and after last year the world, or rather the Multiverse, seemed much bigger. He couldn’t even imagine what threats could be out there! Oliver took a deep breath. Hopefully nothing as devastating as this upcoming Crisis… Anyway.

Whatever menace came up after he was gone, he already knew how it would be solved. He asked himself those questions one year before, when he decided to make the deal - perhaps in not so many words, but that didn’t change the answer.

Barry. He could do it. He was sure of it. It could be too much even for him, Oliver knew, but he wouldn’t be alone. Kara. They were the answer. Together. And they would have the teams. They could call Sara and the other Legends. Call Batwoman. All hands on deck. There was no way they wouldn’t win this. They wouldn’t have it other way. He knew them. He knew some more than he knew others, personally, but as heroes? Oliver knew what they were willing to do and what they were capable of.

“No” he thought. “I’m sure they’re capable or things I haven’t even imagined yet”. For what could The Flash and Supergirl not achieve on their own, let alone together? That’s why he made the trade. All that power, and the two of them focused them on helping people. Which is why Oliver knew their biggest strength were in their hearts. They were good people, willing to make a change. That’s what mattered the most.

Barry was one of the best men he had ever known. A true hero, and a close friend. Having become a vigilante first, Oliver saw how Barry respected his input, and he had always done his best to share his experience with the speedster. But the truth is Oliver admired Barry. His resilience, his goodness. He trusted him. The things he had been through and overcome… Oliver might have gotten gradually used to “crazy” as Green Arrow, but that always had been The Flash’s normal. Huh. It was a good thing he got to tell Barry these things last year. It would be hard to say it now and not sound like a farewell.

And while he might not be as close to Kara, he knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t stop at anything to protect people (not to mention it would take a LOT for anyone to get close to stop her). He saw in her eyes and her actions how much she cared. And even back when he had his doubts, when he first met her, he knew she had to be good - because Barry trusted her. Those doubts were quickly and long gone. Earth 38 sure is lucky to have such a champion. She wasn’t even born there, but adopted the planet as her own. And as if that wasn’t enough, she had already risked herself for their Earth twice. He didn’t forget that. It was a lucky day for Earth 1 when Barry Allen met and befriended Kara Danvers, which allowed her to come to them in their time of need. A lucky day for them all to have met her. She was… inspiring. They both were.

Come to think of it, both Kara AND Barry had been facing threats from different universes long before the Monitor. Oliver chuckled. Those two were really on their own level. He was glad. Glad to know they would be there, after the Crisis. Glad to have them on his side. Glad to have known them. Meeting such Good people made him feel more hopeful for the world(s) in general.

And he hadn’t forgotten Sara, of course. She might not have those kind of super powers, but when has that ever stopped her? or any of them, for that matter? He knew perfectly well how wrong anyone would be to underestimate her. He knew he could trust her with anything and she would be there to deal with it and get the job done too. She had already given her life in a mission before, and that didn’t make her step away when she came back. She was still out there, fighting the good fight - only in different places, in different TIMES. Whether as Canary, White Canary or Captain Lance (as her team called her these days)…That’s just what she does.

It made him smile again. Once they were both irresponsible teenagers in Star City…and now she was a time traveler hero! He knew Barry could travel in time but that was Sara’s daily life. Sara and himself were very alike in many ways, but also very different in others…But it had always been easy between them. Just like with Thea, he felt bad for leaving her after everything she lost already, even if they rarely saw each other these days. Family is family. The Queen and Lance clan were getting another blow. But he knew they could take it. Besides, Sara had the Legends by her side, and he knew they were good to her.

Basically, between his team and the others, Star City and the Earth(s) should be safe. He nodded, taking the words to heart as he thought of every single one of his friends and allies.

Oliver didn’t really hesitate in trading his life for Barry’s and Kara’s on the year before. He obviously didn’t want to leave his family, but once he saw it was necessary, he went for it. He needed those two to be there… And that was only the reasoning behind it all. They were his friends. He couldn’t just watch them die and do nothing! It was what first sparked in his mind to take matters in his hands. The other motives soon followed, and he knew what he needed to do. No one else had to die. Mar Novu guaranteed him. That was the deal.

He hadn’t told them either, but how was he supposed to? He knew they wouldn’t take it well - he wouldn’t. They had to focus on the fight, not on him. He did wish he could at least warn Barry, but that wasn’t possible without explaining it…He would be upset, his heart was too big. In fact, it could also cause a different problem… He might take the job too seriously. Their mission was important, obviously, but Oliver didn’t want Barry to bury himself in it - he was dedicated enough to the cause as it was.

Suddenly he feared his friend might exert himself by trying to compensate for his death, burdening himself with too much. For years Oliver thought they couldn’t have both lives, while Barry tried to tell him they could… Fortunately they had already settled that, but what if the speedster got too shaken by the recent losses or he took the deal the wrong way? Oliver couldn’t take the risk. He should make it clear he wanted him to continue living normally too. Hmm. Maybe he should leave Barry something. Something to remind him of his own advice…Yes. That seemed right. He would arrange that. And however Barry took his death, he was a hero of his own. He too would overcome it and find his balance again.

Oliver didn’t regret making the deal. It did however take him months after it to truly come to terms with the decision. He knew it was better for the world, and therefore, for his family… But he couldn’t help feeling the sorrow of leaving his loved ones so soon. Specially in the present circumstances regarding his family.

……………………………………………..

(Part 2: Their fight and legacy)

Some time later, the universe bestowed on him a gift. In the middle of it all, as doomsday approached way too fast and he was slowly saying goodbye to his loved ones, even to people he never thought he would see again… THEY appeared. His children. Not the way he knew them, growing teenager and an infant, but two resilient and capable young adults, coming straight from the future, right in front of his eyes. Oliver could barely believe it.

It took him a while to accept they could actually take care of themselves now and that he couldn’t - and shouldn’t - stop them from coming on missions with him. It was dangerous, but they could look after each other, just like his team had always done.

Besides, having them around meant spending time with them - and there was nothing Oliver wanted more than that. Time with his family. Sadly Felicity couldn’t be there with them, but again, she was taking care of baby Mia. At least she would be there for them in the future. This? This was all he had. Here and now. In the mess of emotions, Oliver was also happy. Very happy and so very glad. He got to see his kids grown. He got to reconcile with William, talk to him, hug him. And Mia. He got to meet Mia.

William’s issues with Oliver, while recent in Oliver’s time, were long gone in this grown William’s life. With Mia, however, things were more complicated. She was tough. And bitter about Oliver’s sacrifice. Which he could understand, but at the same time, he wished she understood he only did it because it was necessary. Otherwise she and William wouldn’t be safe. She was very hardheaded…

But he couldn’t judge. She reminded him too much of himself. Which was hard, in a way - he knew he could be a difficult person, but now it seemed he could feel what it really was like to deal with him, first hand. Damn, John really was a well of patience. And goodness, to have insisted on him even back when they barely knew each other. But there was a good side in this as well: he had some ideas on how to reach to her. He would give her some space but aso help her no matter what. Besides, he could share his own experiences with her, showing her how he dealt with his troubles. Hopefully they would get there.

To add to their worries, his kids brought some dire news from the future, which shook the team. Apparently even if they saved the Earths the city was still at risk.They quickly decided they wouldn’t accept it. Not all of it, at least. The future wasn’t set. They knew what was coming in that front, so they could prepare. Besides, with his kids there, things were already different. That was encouraging. It still saddened Oliver to know Mia and William hadn’t met until recently, though. But it also made him happy to see how well they got along and how close they became in such short time. They could finally be there for each other. And yet more good news: They got their own Diggle! Or Hawke. Anyway, Connor. The kid seemed strong and tactical, and loyal to a t. He was a good man, as expected from Dig’s son. And he was friends with his kids! At least something went as he wanted. JJ however… It was hard to think of it, he could only imagine how it was for John. And Rene. Zoe Ramirez was also part of the team but such tragedy stroke, which stang them all… two more things to stop from happening. They simply couldn’t let it happen. They wouldn’t.

Oliver’s heart weighted again with all the potential pain in the future but again, he had to compartmentalize. He couldn’t despair. Fortunately the others did too, as they assured each other they would do better. Rene and John managed to focus - not like they needed extra incentive to give their all, Oliver was aware, but the news of this version of the future certainly fueled them into making things work out the best way possible. As if Oliver needed to be reminded of the value of his partners.

Rene, born and raised at the Glades, had not grown bitter of the city, but instead, had only love and will to improve it. He and Oliver had vastly different backgrounds but they had become rather similar in how they looked to their city. Dinah came to their police force and worked for them to fight alongside the vigilantes, which was particularly good after Quentin was gone, while also carrying on the Canary name. Better yet, they had two Black Canaries again, as even Laurel was with them in this - though the circumstances were the worst possible. The anti-matter wave was already in motion and she lost her entire world… But that’s why they were doing this. They had to stop it. At least she was alive.

Roy was also back and his circumstances were more fortunate. Oliver just wished the younger archer had talked to Thea properly before coming, but those two would have to work it out later. Right now, the older Queen was glad to have his old partner around (to even see him again!). One of the actually good news from the future was that he could manage his condition. That didn’t surprise Oliver, but Roy needed to hear it. It was soothing to be able to help him in his return after all - he thought he wouldn't have the opportunity. Good thing Dig reached to him. The team would help him recover. It occurred to Oliver part of the problem was Roy’s fear in hurting others, perhaps more than his lack of control. The news and the company would give him back his confidence and make him sharp again.

As for John, he had been his rock and his brother in this journey since the beginning, and through it all he continued to be - there was no one Oliver trusted more than him. The former soldier would still help a lot of people, he was sure of it. Lyla had been fighting on her front for a long time too, and still was, even if she, shockingly, was entangled with the Monitor…more or less like himself. He got it. He knew what it was like. They were all just trying to save their families.

Which was also what Felicity was doing in that exact moment, even far from them. He admired her strength in doing this on her own. Their success would make it safe for her to raise their baby daughter out of isolation, close to their friends and hopefully to William; it would also allow her to get back to the fight the way she wanted. He knew she could handle it, but he didn’t want her to be alone much longer. The vision never left his thoughts, and so it kept him going.

He was really lucky to be surrounded by such quality people. He started all of this on his own and planned to do it all that way, but that changed rather quickly, even if initially against his will. It had been a long time since he started fighting alongside several heroes, and as years passed, he met many more. He wouldn’t have it any other way. Oliver was happy his journey as the Green Arrow brought them together.

As a team they did more good than he could ever do on his own - and not only in Star City, but out there in the world as well. This was far from the first time he thought of that, but every now and then it hit him again - the thought of how extraordinary it was for them to be united in this, whether they were in the same city or far apart. They all made him a better man, and while they were all fine and capable people on their own, he knew he had helped them too. He certainly did his best.

He had a good team. And they would keep going after he was gone, in Star City and also far beyond it. The heroes he knew would keep helping people in Earth 1, 38, and even others, if it came to that again. Someday they might even live a quieter, more peaceful life! Now that was quite a thought….

But first, they had to fight. They had to save the future for their kids and for their cities. They had to save the Earth for everybody in it. As many Earths as possible, as they had just as much right to live. Not to mention Kara’s Earth. They couldn’t let her lose her people - which she already did once, he was aware of it. Laurel too. He couldn’t even fathom their losses. If it was possible to get Earth 2 back, he would do it. He would get justice for her. He was happy he at least managed to get her out of there in time, despite the Monitor’s warnings. He couldn’t lose another Laurel.

There was just too much at stake, even if the threat didn’t involve the entire multiverse. Oliver just had to trust his team. His friends. That, he already did. Now to do his part, he had to stay focused. With every reason to succeed in his heart, he continued to prepare for the fight ahead.

……………………………………………..

(Part 3: Gratefulness)

Crisis was ever closer, and so was the time for them all to make the impossible happen and save the multiverse.

It wouldn’t be a first. It was thanks to the impossible that Sara and Thea were still alive. That he was allowed to still talk to Laurel, even if she wasn’t the Laurel he knew, and to see her protecting Star City. That he saw Tommy again, even if a different Tommy, among so many other extraordinary encounters…

And weren’t the things Barry, Kara and even Sara did daily something he once believed to be impossible? He wouldn’t have befriended Barry if he hadn’t gotten powers, as the alternative was the speedster’s death! Instead, the universe gave the scientist the power to be the hero he could be, and gave Oliver another friend. He wouldn’t even have met Kara if it wasn’t for dimensional travels! Together they and the others had already saved the Earth before. They would do it again. Just…in a bigger scale. The possibilities of what they all could do had already proven to be endless.

And last but not least, despite having to die to help save the worlds, it was thanks to the impossible that Oliver could see his kids before it was too late. He even had enough time to get closer to Mia! For all that, Oliver was beyond grateful.

He gathered all his strength for the fight ahead. He had made peace with his losses and bid goodbye to his loved ones. He trusted his family would be alright and that Barry, Kara, Sara, John and all the other heroes would take care of each other and keep the worlds safe.

As he and his grown daughter hugged for the first time, he thought of Felicity, William, and all the people he loved and cared about. He thought about the friends who would be by his side until the end, and the future they would all fight for to guarantee, even after he was gone… And as the sky turned red, Oliver might have felt fear, but he also felt stronger. Knowing full well this would be his last battle, he wouldn’t stop fighting until he fulfilled his part in it. Nothing would stop him from saving his family nor his friends. He was ready.

……………………………………………..

Notes:

This was originally supposed to be a drabble about Oliver being grateful for his extra time with his kids but then it turned into him recognizing how some extraordinary things in general were a gift in his life, what with Barry and Kara coming into play, as well as the resurrections and doppelgangers… And then it became about him trusting the rest of the trinity with the Multiverse and I couldn’t let it be without bringing up Team Arrow and Sara too… So here we are

I know there’s some stuff I didn’t elaborate much, and I’m pretty sure there are some inconsistencies (I only watched the episodes once) but anyway. This is already MUCH bigger and elaborated than initially intended, I just kept writing XD I don’t think Oliver should have died, but here’s a shot at his thought process as he came to be in peace with it. I hope I managed to do the character and his relationships some justice

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alexsfictionaddiction · 5 years ago

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12 of the best feel-good books

I think we could all do with a pick-me-up right now. We’ve been in some level of isolation for over a month and we’re perhaps being forced to accept a new normal. However, we’re still seeing frightening and tragic headlines all day every day (ration your news time, if you’re not doing so already), so of course, fear and hopelessness is going to set in. If you’re not used to spending time alone, loneliness is also a huge possibility but we know that books are a great source of solace in times like this.

Maybe you want to do your own research and discover how far into the realms of science-fiction we’ve got. For you, I have compiled a list of the best books that pandemic fiction has to offer but if you’re looking for something more light-hearted, I’ve got the perfect tonic. Whether you need a laugh, to be comforted or to simply remember what life used to be like, here are some books that will help you escape the current face of reality. Above all, remember that it’s perfectly natural for your mental health to be suffering at the moment. Do whatever you can to look after yourself and stay safe.

1. The Flatshare by Beth O’Leary

Remember when you could just move in with a stranger without worrying about keeping two metres apart at all times? Tiffy and Leon share a flat and even a bed but due to entirely opposite work schedules, they manage to not even meet for months after Tiffy moves in, only communicating via texts and notes left on the fridge. But Tiffy’s controlling ex-boyfriend and Leon’s innocent prisoner brother ignite a connection that is fuelled by basic human kindness and a touch of romantic attraction, of course! This quirky rom-com has been a bestseller for over a year now and it’s not hard to see why. It’s a celebration of love, friendship and the unexpected happiness that can come from taking calculated risks. Beth O’Leary’s second novel The Switch has also just been released, so there has never been a better time to read her debut!

2. Wonder by R. J. Palacio

A beautiful story of empathy, kindness and acceptance, Wonder has fast become one of the most popular and widely read contemporary middle-grade novels. Auggie Pullman was born with a facial deformity and he’s attending mainstream school for the first time but of course, kids can be staggeringly cruel to those who are different. Wonder kickstarted a global kindness campaign and spawned a film adaptation, which is one of the best and most faithful I’ve ever seen. It has already given so much to the world and I know you’ll get a lot of joy out of it too.

3. The Long Way To A Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

Of course, not all sci-fi is doom and gloom. This is the first instalment in Becky Chambers’ Wayfarers series and it’s laugh-out-loud funny. It follows a misfit crew of space travellers and their wonderful smile-inducing relationships. Celebrating the coming together of a variety of races, sexualities and personalities, it features a lot of loveable memorable characters who begin to read like dear loyal friends. If you’re looking for quirky, light-hearted sci-fi in a similar vein to Star Trek and Firefly, you’d be wise to start here.

4. Less by Andrew Sean Greer

Arthur Less is a struggling writer about to turn 50 and the love of his life is engaged to someone else. To say that he’s not feeling too hot right now would be an understatement but he has been invited to a range of literary events around the world, so he does the logical thing and accepts them all. We can’t travel right now but with Arthur, you’ll visit Paris, Berlin, southern India, the Moroccan desert and Japan. You’ll also go on a journey of self-acceptance, learn how to love the life that you have and appreciate the time you have left.

5. Hot Mess by Lucy Vine

It’s rare that a book makes me guffaw out loud in public but Hot Mess did exactly that, when I read it a couple of years ago. Ellie is a single woman who hates her office job and is absolutely nowhere near having her life together. However, she does have some great friends and a lovely relationship with her dad Alan, whose drafts of a romance novel are truly side-splittingly hilarious. We see Ellie through terrible dates, trauma confrontation and a quest for true happiness that is hugely satisfying. It has been described as a modern-day Bridget Jones but I found it much more relatable and actually quite a lot funnier!

6. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion

It’s the first in a trilogy of novels that explore the trials and tribulations of finding romance when you’re genetics professor Don Tillman. Don likes facts, logic and reason and he applies all of these things to his latest endeavour, The Wife Project. He knows exactly the kind of woman he wants to marry but then he meets Rosie, who ticks none of his boxes and he’s forced to accept that perhaps true love doesn’t always follow the rules. Don and Rosie’s relationship is such a heartwarming, mutually beneficial one that will make you laugh and leave you with a big bag of warm fuzzy feels.

7. The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien

There is a huge chance that you will have read The Hobbit but what better time to revisit a funny, charming favourite? Re-embark on the quest to retrieve Smaug’s treasure, take back the Lonely Mountain and make a plethora of fantastic friends along the way. As well as relating to Bilbo’s personal growth throughout the novel, I think the idea of facing epic threat and mortal peril in unknown environments and yet still returning safely home to a quiet comfortable life is the reassurance we need that this too shall pass. Of course, it will also be an intoxicating nostalgia trip, so there’s really no reason to not pick it up again!

8. The Bromance Book Club by Lyssa Kay Adams

I read this over the Valentine’s Day period and was so enchanted by it. Gavin is a top baseball player for the Nashville Legends and he has recently discovered that he has never given his wife Thea a genuine orgasm and it’s threatening the relationship. So he does the logical thing and turns to his team mates, who actually double as a secret romance book club. They suggest taking a leaf out of a smutty Regency paperback to save his marriage -what could possibly go wrong? Funny, heart-warming and touching, it’s a great choice if you’re looking for a rom-com with a difference.

9. My Pear-Shaped Life by Carmel Harrington

If you’ve spent a lot of self-isolation being wholly unproductive and perhaps not looking after yourself too well, you may be feeling that you’re simply not good enough. Especially if your social media is full of happy healthy people doing just about EVERYTHING. Meet Greta, a struggling actress who is used to playing the role of the funny, overweight girl in all areas of her life. That’s ok as long as she laughs with everyone else, right? But things have been pretty rough lately and it’s only when she hits rock bottom that she begins to realise that maybe things need to go a little bit pear-shaped sometimes. With joy and despair in equal measure, this new novel, populated with an array of wonderful characters, will teach you that true happiness comes from simply being you.

10. A Boy Made Of Blocks by Keith Stuart

Eight-year-old Sam is autistic and struggles to make sense of the world. His dad Alex has also lost himself somewhere along the way and needs to change. Minecraft offers a place where father and son can rediscover their bond and put the family back together, block by block. I reviewed this incredibly moving, uplifting story when it was first released a few years ago. It’s actually inspired by Keith Stuart’s real-life experiences, which I think give it an extra dollop of heart-warmth!

11. The Black Flamingo by Dean Atta

The entire focus of this fantastically written YA novel is on embracing your own personal uniqueness and on not being afraid to let it out. Michael is a mixed-race gay teen who has grappled with his identity for his entire life. On arriving at university, the idea of becoming a drag artist causes everything to begin to slot into place. Told in verse, The Black Flamingo will show you how your boldest brightest colours can shine through the darkest of times. Highlighting the power of words and challenging all forms of homophobia, whether it be external or internal, this is a book that I’m sure will become a staple of LGBT+ literature in years to come. As for now, it will simply inspire you to live your very best life, regardless of who tries to prevent it.

12. Reasons To Be Cheerful by Nina Stibbe

As the title may suggest, there is plenty to smile about in Reasons To Be Cheerful. It’s chiefly a coming-of-age novel about a young woman called Lizzie living in 1970s Leicestershire. She has just got a job as an assistant to a work-shy, racist dentist who is desperate to join the freemasons. Navigating this new position alongside a relationship with her alcoholic writer mother, a boyfriend who doesn’t seem terribly interested in her and a few unlikely friends, Lizzie’s life makes for some pretty amusing anecdotes. Whether it’s the simple retro setting or small cast of eccentric caricatures, there is something quite other-worldly yet familiar about it. There is a lot of detail that is relevant to the period it’s set in, including the blatant social prejudices that were so rife at the time. I am too young to have experienced 1970s Britain but it certainly feels authentic to what I know. I have no doubt that those that were there will get even more enjoyment and nostalgia from Lizzie’s life than I did.

#feel good #books #recommended #recommendations #uplifting

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raywritesthings · 5 years ago

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In the Dead of Night 5/9

My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Laurel Lance, Oliver Queen, Sara Lance, Nyssa al Ghul, John Diggle, Tommy Merlyn, Malcolm Merlyn, Thea Queen Pairing: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen (Eventual) Summary: Oliver Queen returns to Starling City after five years away, three years after Sara Lance was found and rescued by her mother. More troubling to him is Laurel’s abrupt and unexplained absence from the city for the same length of time that her sister’s been home. Three years into the past, Dinah Lance makes a terrible choice. *Can be read on my AO3 or FFN (links to both accounts are in bio)*

Three years ago

They arrived in Seoul, wearing regular clothes for the first time in months. Laurel didn’t get too excited about it, though; when Nyssa had given them to her to change, she had informed her they were part of the League’s general supplies and would be taken back when they returned to Nanda Parbat. Once they had set up in a hotel, Laurel was given the name, photo, and address of her target.

“You’re not coming with me?”

“This is your assignment. I am here to ensure your arrival and extraction, nothing more.”

Laurel changed into her uniform and left the hotel alone that night, sneaking to her target’s home in the Yongsan district. She kept her breathing even and her hands from shaking as she snuck past armed security up to the fifth floor, where a light remained on in an office. She picked the lock on the window and pushed it in, stepping through just as her target turned around.

He gave a gasp and dropped the phone in his hand. Laurel crushed it with the blunt end of her staff, and moved forward until he had backed into the wall. His hands were thrown up over his head, and the little she could understand of his speech was obviously begging for his life.

There was a knife in her belt. She was meant to take it out and finish the job. But she couldn’t. How could she? This wasn’t peace, this was murder.

“Go. Take whatever you can carry and leave this city. Don’t tell anyone.”

The man’s eyes went wide, and his lips moved as if to speak.

Laurel stepped forward and put as much menace in her voice as she could muster. “Go.”

He reached towards his desk, eyes on hers through the thin slit in her face covering. It was a briefcase he grabbed and hugged to his chest before inching along the wall to the door. With one last terrified look at her, he fled.

Laurel left out a breath and sagged in relief. The next instant she was hurrying to the window. It would be disaster for her to be caught here, especially after what she had just done. When she returned to the hotel, she didn’t say a word to Nyssa and merely climbed into her own bed.

This worked for her next three assignments, or so she thought. Laurel woke one night in their temporary lodging to moonlight streaming through the window as Nyssa re-entered the room. She shed her coat and quiver of arrows as Laurel sat up.

“Where were you?”

“Dispatching our assignment,” Nyssa answered in a clipped tone. “As I have done for the last three assignments. Did you really believe I was not watching, Taer al Aswad?”

The color drained from her face, and Laurel scrambled out of bed. “They’re all dead?”

“Of course they are. That is our mission, and if it was known that we had begun issuing pardons, the reputation of the League would be at stake and the whole world order would destabilize. My father would be furious.” She sent Laurel a cutting look. “You are letting your own sense of self blind you to your obligation to the League.”

She crossed her arms. “So why haven’t you reported me to your father?”

“Because I know the terms of your servitude as well as you. The destruction of an entire city for your disobedience seems unconscionable to me, and I would think you would feel the same.”

Laurel looked away. She knew what was at stake, but it just wasn’t fair. Why was she forced to compromise her morals, her very self, just to keep others alive? Others who would never know or care what she had prevented. If it was just her own survival at stake, there was no question that this nightmare would already be over, one way or another. She wished the thought horrified her more than it did.

“You did not join us of your own volition, and I question my father’s decision to bond someone whose loyalties will never lie with the League,” Nyssa continued. “But I have also known what it is to be an unfavored child.”

Laurel turned back to Nyssa in surprise. She had never considered what her teacher’s childhood must have been like, growing up surrounded by this cult. Whether she’d had siblings or a parent who cared for her. It was obvious Ra’s was dismissive at best.

“I’m sorry.”

Nyssa stiffened. “I did not tell you that for pity.”

“No.” Laurel took a step closer. “My failure on the assignments would mean your failure, right? I was ignoring what could happen to my city, but I also didn’t think about how my actions might affect you.”

Nyssa stared at her for a long moment. Then she glanced away. “You will have to do better on our next assignment.”

“I know.” Dread seeped into the pit of her stomach and she sat on the edge of her mattress. She would have to take a life, and not for her own protection.

“I was going to be a lawyer,” she said, and Nyssa looked over at her. “Yeah, I was entering my last year. My dad is a cop, too. He always used to say that no one needed to go outside the law to get justice.” A wry smile twisted her lips. “If he could see me now.”

“Laws are not a universal concept, nor are they absolute,” Nyssa remarked.

“Maybe not. Maybe it doesn’t matter. These people I’m assigned are going to die either way, aren’t they?” Laurel looked down at her hands lying in her lap. “But if I don’t do it, a lot more people are going to die. I wish I knew what the justice in that was.”

She turned away and climbed back into bed before Nyssa could answer.

In the morning, she still felt shame at having been caught, and also for making her and her city Nyssa’s responsibility. Laurel had undergone the League’s training in the belief that it was worth sparing all the innocent people back home; it was inevitable that she would have to carry through on that belief, and that wasn’t any more Nyssa’s fault than it was her fault she’d been forced into this situation. She rose early and took their rations to make breakfast. Since there was no actual cooking involved, she felt fairly confident she could manage it.

Nyssa rose just as she’d finished, and she walked over to the other’s bedside to hand it to her.

“Good morning.”

“You seem in an oddly better mood than I expected,” Nyssa remarked.

“I don’t know about better. Resigned, maybe,” Laurel admitted. “I wanted to thank you for covering for me. When I was first brought to the League, I thought you hated me. I guess I wish I’d realized I had a friend sooner.”

Nyssa stared at her food, and Laurel had a feeling the other woman didn’t know what to say.

They finished up, and she hefted her supply pack onto her shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go back.”

---

Present day

Oliver felt himself shaken awake, and he clamped a hand down on the other person’s.

“Ollie, there’s someone in the bathroom,” Sara whispered.

He sat up. “What?”

“The door’s locked from the inside, and I can hear breathing in there.”

John was waking up across from him while Tommy snoozed on with his face against the window. Oliver exchanged a look with Digg and they both stood, heading to the back of the plane.

The door was locked as Sara had said, so he looked to John and nodded. His friend kicked the door in as Oliver prepared a stance.

“Ahhh!”

He froze. “Thea?”

His little sister scrambled up from where she’d squeezed herself in between the sink and the wall. “You couldn’t try just knocking first?”

Oliver gaped at her for a moment, then regained enough sense to demand, “What are you doing here?”

She shrugged. “I wasn’t sticking behind with mom this time. I’ve been through that before.”

“So you snuck onto a private plane?” Sara asked.

“Yeah. Stayed over at a friend’s last night and they gave me a lift to the tarmac first thing in the morning. So, where are we going?”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Oliver stated. “You are staying on this plane until we land back in Starling City.”

“Oh, so it’s fine for you to leave mom while she’s grieving and go have fun, but if I do it—”

“This is not for fun!”

“What’s going on?” Tommy had woken up, it seemed, and he walked over, stopping short at the sight of Oliver’s sister. “Uhh, that’s Thea.”

“Hey, Tommy.”

“...how’d she get here?”

“She snuck on before we boarded,” Sara said.

“Yeah, so where are we going? And what about it isn’t fun?”

Oliver could not believe this was happening. He’d accepted that he needed Tommy for the plane and Sara for directions, but Thea? He couldn’t explain the real purpose of this trip without revealing his identity as the Hood, but he needed to be able to get to Nanda Parbat. Oliver looked to Digg and Sara both for some kind of answer.

It was Tommy who did, however. “Well, Ollie’s making us hike mountains, so I’d say that qualifies as ‘not fun’.”

“Hiking?” Thea turned to him. “Since when did you hike?”

“The island,” he deadpanned. His sister had the grace to look sheepish.

“Look, why doesn’t everybody who doesn’t want to hike just stay down in one of the villages at the base of the mountain?” John suggested, and Oliver found himself in awe of that stroke of genius. “We’ll pick a meeting point and a time to be there, then head back to the plane.”

“That sounds perfect,” Oliver said. “Tommy, Thea, I’m gonna send Digg with you since you’ll be in the village.”

“Right, while you and Sara go on a hike together,” Thea continued for him with a roll of her eyes. She left the bathroom and brushed past him, going to sulk in one of the chairs.

“I’ll try talking with her,” Tommy muttered, and headed down the aisle after her.

Oliver took a deep breath in and out. The plan could still work. And truthfully, maybe having some familiar faces on the plane to greet Laurel wouldn’t be such a bad thing. If that was what she wanted. It was hard to know what to expect.

They touched down and everyone was happy to climb off the plane and breathe in the open air. Oliver and Sara went with the others as far as the village, then split off and headed up a dirt path into the hills at the foot of the mountain.

“After a certain point, the League starts stationing a guard. I’ll have to leave you there, because if they see me, they’ll consider that our family breaking the deal.”

“Right.”

“Ra’s is the leader, and he’s the one you need to release Laurel, but there’s also his daughter. Nyssa. She was the one that found me and saved my life. You could probably get her on your side.”

“Nyssa,” he repeated just to be sure. Sara nodded.

They fell silent as they climbed further. There was no real point to expending breath on talking. Especially when he didn’t know what to say.

On the one hand, he sympathized. She had experienced more horrors under Ivo’s capture than he could imagine. It would be hard to turn down any opportunity to put more suffering to an end. But on the other hand, it had been wrong. Neither of the Lance sisters deserved this situation, but to knowingly allow her mother to trade away Laurel’s freedom was inexcusable. Dinah should have left Nanda Parbat and sought help, not made a rash decision on the spot, one that had ruined both her daughters. He could see the toll the hike was taking on Sara; she hadn’t been taking care of herself the last three years, and she was tiring. But she pushed on.

With no warning, she reached out to grab his arm and tug him to a stop. “Once you round that boulder, they’ll be able to see you and hopefully they’ll come to talk.”

“If not?”

Sara grimaced. “They are assassins.”

“Right.”

“I’ll wait here.” She held on tighter when he started to walk away. “Ollie. Bring her back.”

“I will.”

He walked on alone, keeping his eyes peeled for any sudden movement. He noticed the guard the second before he emerged from hiding, landing in Oliver’s path and holding him at sword point. Even knowing it had been coming, it was hard not to flinch at the sight of the Dark Archer’s uniform; that defeat still sat heavy with him, and it fueled his desire to do better this time.

“You have trespassed on the land of the Demon Head.”

He had no weapons save the knife tucked into his boot, as Sara had said that would maximize his chances of not being killed on sight, so Oliver held up his hands. “I know.”

Behind his mask, the guard’s eyes narrowed. “Why have you come?”

“My name is Oliver Queen, and I seek an audience with Ra’s al Ghul.”

---

Thea walked along the village’s main road with Tommy at her side and Mr. Diggle trailing only a few paces behind them. Every so often, she glanced back, but there was no sign of Oliver or Sara. She frowned to herself. What was even going on there? She’d hoped when Oliver came back that he’d have learned from past mistakes.

The thing was, Thea had always liked Laurel. She was everything Thea had ever imagined a big sister could be. When the news had come out about the Gambit, Thea had been devastated not only to lose her brother and father, but to learn that her brother hadn’t been just a harmless troublemaker. He’d caused real hurt to people in their lives. Instead of being able to grieve together, Thea had been convinced Laurel would never want anything to do with their family ever again.

Yet Laurel had proved her wrong. Though she’d stopped coming by the house like she had been, whenever Thea happened to run into her out in the city, Laurel always had a kind word. She’d even used to send her a birthday text, the first two years after, anyway.

And then one day Laurel had just vanished. Thea didn’t know exactly when. Only that, when the news had reported Sara found alive, Laurel hadn’t been there. Sara had come to apologize to them at the house for not being able to tell them anything good about Oliver or her dad, and Thea, impetuous and nearly fifteen, had asked her if she’d apologized to her sister yet.

Sara had flinched. “Laurel’s not here anymore. And she wouldn’t want to see me right now, anyway.”

Sara had moved away with her mother after that, and Thea hadn’t missed her. It had been Oliver’s fault bringing her on the yacht in the first place, but why did the Lances get to have their prodigal daughter back while she and her mother had nothing?

Of course, Ollie had eventually come home. He’d been distant and sometimes explosive with his temper, nothing like what Thea remembered of the brother she’d lost. He wouldn’t open up to anyone, and wistfully she had had the thought that if he might to anybody...but there had been no point. Laurel had still remained away.

Then they had learned that wasn’t necessarily of her own choice. Thea had been at a loss. She’d been so consumed by the tragedy that had hit their family that she hadn’t even noticed the disappearance of another friend. Laurel didn’t deserve to be stolen away like that; she’d never done anything wrong to end up with all the heartbreak life had dealt her. Thea had felt much better back when she’d believed Laurel had simply decided to leave them all behind. She would have had every right.

And now Oliver was back and Sara was here, for some reason, and it just gave her a bad feeling. Was he really trying to start something with her again? Did he just see Sara as the next best thing since her sister was gone?

Thea was never very good at handling these things quietly, so she finally asked, “So, how long do you think it’s gonna take them to start screwing around up there?”

“I’m not sure it’s what you’re thinking, Speedy,” said Tommy. “Oliver didn’t actually want Sara to come along, and they both seem pretty tense around each other. They were arguing about something.”

“What, whether or not to just continue disrespecting Laurel’s memory?” She glanced over the contents of another vendor’s stall. “I’m not stupid. People don’t usually come back from years of being missing. We got lucky with Ollie and Sara, but — Tommy?”

She looked back to see he had frozen in place and was staring off into the distance. Mr. Diggle came up to his side.

“Something wrong?”

“No, it’s just — is that my dad?”

Thea turned and tried to follow his line of sight. Sure enough, Mr. Merlyn was cutting a path through the other end of town while wearing the strangest outfit. All black and sort of medieval-y. Yet weirdly familiar for some reason...

“What’s that on his back?” It almost looked as if he was carrying a quiver and bow. But that was crazy.

“He’s headed for the mountain,” said Mr. Diggle. He frowned and put a hand over where Thea knew he kept his gun. “You two head back to the plane. Now.”

“Wait, what?”

“No way,” Tommy argued. “If something’s going on with my dad, I need to know.”

Mr. Diggle frowned, his eyes darting to the path Mr. Merlyn was rapidly disappearing down. “You’ll stay behind me the whole time. And if I say to run, you do so.”

“You think it’s really dangerous?” Thea asked.

“I don’t know yet, Miss Queen. But I do know that he’s wearing the same clothes that Dark Archer had on at Christmas.”

It clicked in her head then, where she’d seen his strange attire before. Tommy was gaping, and she doubted she was faring much better.

Mr. Diggle started off at a quick walk, and they hurried to catch up.

“What’s your dad doing here?”

“I don’t know. This doesn’t make sense. Why would he have followed us here?”

“Well, we’re the ones following him now,” she pointed out.

It was weird. Mr. Merlyn kind of always did give off a creepy vibe — if she was honest with herself, Thea had never liked the way he seemed to hang around her mom ever since her dad and Oliver had vanished out at sea. But stalking them to another country while dressed, if Mr. Diggle was right, as a crazed murderer? How was this happening? And why was it happening when they had no idea where Ollie and Sara were?

Thea stumbled over the rocky path once or twice — she really wished she’d known to wear sneakers or something more practical, but she’d been banking on Ollie running off to some ski lodge where she could rent boots — and Tommy took her arm to help her along. Mr. Diggle kept a steady pace, pausing occasionally to peer ahead, and Thea was reminded that her brother’s bodyguard had been to war. If he was this tense already, what were they walking into?

He raised a hand to signal they stop, and they all picked up Sara’s voice just over the next ridge.

“You can’t come through here, Mr. Merlyn.”

“You think you can stop me?” Mr. Merlyn asked, far more menace in his voice than she was used to hearing. Thea exchanged a wide-eyed look with Tommy.

“I can see you’re with the League. But this is the only chance I have to free my sister, so no one’s coming through here till Ollie gets back with her.”

Thea only just held in a cry of shock. This was about Laurel? And Oliver was getting her? What was going on?

“If Oliver thinks he can best Ra’s al Ghul, he’s a bigger fool than you are.”

Mr. Diggle charged up over the ridge, gun drawn and pointed. “She’s got backup. That’s more than I can say for you.”

Tommy scrambled up after him, and Thea was right on his heels. “Dad!”

Mr. Merlyn had an arrow drawn and pointed at Sara, but he turned his head back to them with a sharp hiss of, “Keep your voices down! They’ll hear you.”

“Who?” Thea demanded. “What the hell is going on, and where are Ollie and Laurel?”

Mr. Merlyn seemed to realize Mr. Diggle had him covered, for he lowered his bow and tucked the arrow back into his quiver. Then he walked over to them with his hands raised, beckoning to Sara to join them.

“We are only a stone’s throw from the first guard stationed to protect the fortress of Nanda Parbat,” he explained in a lowered voice. “So it would do all of us well to keep our voices down.”

“Fortress of what?” Tommy asked.

“Nanda Parbat,” Sara repeated. “It’s why we’re here.”

“I suspected as much when Oliver told me where you were going. I’m not a big believer in coincidences, and there were just too many lining up when it came to him and Starling’s new vigilante.”

“Wait, what?” Thea had to wonder if she wasn’t still asleep in that plane bathroom and dreaming up this bizarre situation. “You’re not saying—”

“The Hood’s arrival coincided with Oliver’s return. His hospitalization coincided with my encounter with the Hood. And now he has adventured here to the home of the League of Assassins,” Mr. Merlyn stated.

“But dad. You’re not — I mean, you wouldn’t just hold a bunch of people hostage at Christmas,” Tommy argued. “That’s crazy.”

“There’s a lot about me I haven’t told you, Tommy,” Mr. Merlyn replied. “A lot about the lengths I am willing to go.”

“Like traveling all the way to the Himalayas to put your rival in the ground?” Mr. Diggle guessed. He was still aiming at Tommy’s father, and given what they now knew, Thea was glad for it.

But Mr. Merlyn shook his head. “I didn’t come here to hurt Oliver. I came to save him. To stop him before he could reach the League.”

“The League of Assassins,” Thea repeated just to be sure. When that got a nod from three of their group, she threw her hands up in the air. “Why is there a League of Assassins? And why do we know about them?”

“And what do they have to do with Laurel?” Tommy added, to which Thea gave her own approving nod.

“The League is an old order. It’s been around for hundreds of years. When I left you after your mother was killed, Tommy, I wandered the Earth totally lost. And then I found my way here to Nanda Parbat, where I was taken in and trained. That is how I know of them and how I know that Oliver is in danger.”

“Then how do we help him?” Mr. Diggle asked.

“The only way we might hope to do that now is to infiltrate another way. The catacombs. Follow me.” Mr. Merlyn turned and took a path that led down into some brambles. Thea was thankful she’d at least worn long sleeves, though her hair was another matter as it got caught once or twice.

“So why the change of heart about the Hood?” Mr. Diggle was asking. He still eyed Mr. Merlyn suspiciously.

“I didn’t know who he was before. Now that I do, I hope to reconcile with Oliver and persuade him to my plan along with Moira.”

“What do you mean along with my mom?” Thea spoke up from near the back. “What plan?”

“My plan to save the city.”

“Why does it involve hostages?” Tommy asked.

“Look, does any of this matter right now?” Sara demanded harshly. “We can sort it out once we get in and out with Oliver and Laurel.”

“Yes, how did your sister become mixed up with the League?” Mr. Merlyn had brought them to what looked to be a rock wall, but he reached into a crevice and then one of the rocks slid aside to reveal a dark tunnel. How did that work? They were rocks. “Quietly, if you don’t mind.”

They all filed in while Mr. Merlyn took a torch from the wall and lit it, and it was silent for long enough that Thea wondered if Sara was ever planning to answer. At last, she muttered, “It was my fault.”

“Let’s leave it at that,” Mr. Diggle said before anyone could ask. “I don’t think everyone can be expected to keep quiet about the rest of it.”

Thea looked between the pair of them with curiosity that burned hotter than ever. Her brother was for some reason somehow the crazy vigilante everyone was talking about back home, Mr. Merlyn had beat him up over Christmas, and yet there was somehow still more she didn’t know. That shouldn’t have been possible.

But it was something about Laurel. And Sara seemed to think her sister was still alive. If there was one thing today that Thea wanted to be true, that was it.

Mr. Merlyn paused, and so did the rest of them. There was a faint sound somewhere over their heads, like a sort of clanging.

“We’re too late.”

“Dad, what do you mean? What about Oliver?”

“He’s engaged Ra’s,” was all Mr. Merlyn offered in explanation. “Nothing will save him now.”

Thea stood there, shivering in the chilled air of the tunnel, and willed herself to wake up. But it didn’t happen. This was real.

#lauriver #laurel x oliver #laurel lance #oliver queen #arrow #my writing #green arrow #black canary #blackbird

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smkkbert · 6 years ago

Text

Mothers know best

Summary: Since they have been kids, they have been best friends. Since they have been friends, their mothers wanted them to be together. After coming back from the east coast, Felicity takes over a position at Queen Consolidated, the company her best friend will soon take over from his father. Their mothers still push for them to be together, and they seem closer to that goal than ever because wedding bells are ringing. The only problem is that they both plan to get married to someone else.

Rating: Explicit

Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

Chapter 6 of 22: Torschlusspanik

= The fear of losing opportunities because of age, especially concerning women when they want children (German)

Lifting his forearms in front of his face, Oliver absorbed the punches his friend threw at him. Though John’s hands were wrapped in thick boxing gloves that cushioned the punches, Oliver’s forearms burnt like fire. No matter how hard he tried to fasten his stand, he couldn’t stop himself from taking a step back to get a little bit of distance between him and John.

“Are we going to talk about the wedding now?”

John’s question almost threw Oliver off. He lowered his arms for a moment, frowning at his friend. Not a lot had missed and John’s next punch would have landed right in Oliver’s face. By the last second, Oliver managed to lift his arms back in front of his face to shield it though.

While John’s fists were thrumming down on his forearms once more, Oliver wondered what exactly his friend wanted to talk about.

Oliver didn’t remember how long he and John had been friends now. It was probably since he had started working as the Head of Security for his parents’ property. In a lot of ways, John had been the best friend he had had in Starling before Felicity had returned here. The friendship that connected him with John was quite different from the one he had with Felicity though. They had this male bonding thing where they didn’t talk a lot and rather spent their time training their asses off in the gym.

When they talked, it was usually John giving him the kind of advice, any therapist would probably take several thousands of dollars from him. John’s advices were quite inexpensive in comparison to that and they were probably a lot more effective too.

John certainly had some good advices on marriage since he was happily married himself. Oliver doubted that John wanted to give him advice on marriage though. John never handed advice out just like that. He only advised Oliver to do something if Oliver was asking for an advice or if a problem had already occurred. He was his friend and not his therapist after all.

“If you want to talk about why I didn’t make you my best man, I have to tell you that you just don’t compete with Felicity. To be fair, nobody does. Besides, the only reason Thea accepted the fact that she didn’t get to be my best woman is because I told her that I know Felicity longer than I know her.”

Oliver grinned to himself, but his amusement didn’t distract him enough to miss John’s reaction. There was an expression in his friend’s eyes that told him there was something about it that bothered John or that made him prick his ears at least.

“If nobody compares to her, does that include McKenna?”

It took Oliver a moment before he remembered that he had said nobody could compete with Felicity. He often caught himself talking about Felicity without really realizing it. It just came natural to him because she was such an important part of his life and had been such an important part of his life for years already.

“You sound like my mother.” Oliver rolled his eyes. “Felicity and McKenna are playing in completely different leagues. I mean Felicity is my best friend and McKenna is my fiancée. That’s not comparable at all.”

John released the kind of sound that Oliver didn’t know how to interpret. It was a mixture of a hum and a sigh, maybe with a little bit of a chuckle underneath. Oliver had no idea what that was supposed to mean.

“So you are sure about your engagement with McKenna?”

“Of course I am,” Oliver replied without a beat of hesitation. “We’ve been together for a while now. It’s only normal to take the next step.”

“How romantic.”

“You know me.” Oliver chuckled. “I am not the most romantic person.”

Taking in a deep breath, Oliver decided it was time for a counterattack. Just when he wanted to throw a punch back at him, John spun around and landed the final punch right against Oliver’s shoulder though. With a groan of frustration, Oliver lifted his hands in defeat and took some steps back.

“You win.” Oliver sighed though it mixed with a chuckle. “Again.”

“And I will win the next lap again,” John simply said and Oliver could almost hear an unsaid because your head’s not in the game being added to it.

“I know you will.” Oliver nodded his head and released a long breath. “But first I need a break.”

John nodded his head in agreement. “Fine.”

Turning to the benches where they had placed their towels and their bottles of water, Oliver opened the hook and loop fastener with his teeth. He pulled the boxing gloves from his hands, dropping them to the floor, and took some huge gulps of the cold water. He let some more of the water pouring down on his scalp and his face.

Training with John, no matter how exhausting it was, always managed to clear Oliver’s head. These last days had been exhausting because Felicity was just incredibly enthusiastic about their work at QC. At times, he had felt like his head was exploding. Felicity was processing data and basically every type of information just so much faster than he himself did which made professional conversations with her really hard. She was basically two to five steps ahead of him all the time.

“Now, why are you rushing your wedding with McKenna?”

Moving his fingers through his wet hair, Oliver frowned at his friend. “Why would you think I am rushing my wedding?”

“Three months ago, we had a conversation about marriage and you said that it was the last thing you wanted right now.” John crossed his arms in front of his chest and dipped his head forward slightly to take Oliver in thoroughly. “Suddenly you changed your mind and now you can’t get down the aisle quickly enough.”

Oliver held John’s gaze for a moment before he looked away. He hated when he looked at him like that. In some way, it always felt like John could look right through him or read in him like in a book.

Felicity had the same power he guessed, so maybe he was just easy to read.

“I am not rushing the wedding, John,” Oliver replied eventually, shrugging his shoulders. “It doesn’t feel rushed. I mean people are moving on and moving forward, so I guess I have to think about my own future too. I can’t stay in the past, and things between me and McKenna are good, so that feels like a good starting point for a future.”

He put his towel and water away back to the bench, taking a moment to stay turned away from John. He had no idea where this question had come from, but he decided not to let that get to him. Either John was going to tell him if there was a deeper meaning to his question or Oliver would just forget about it.

As soon as he turned back around and found John still looking at him with that intent expression in his eyes and his arms crossed in front of his chest tensely, Oliver released a long sigh though.

“Just spit it out, John.”

“Spit what out?”

“Whatever you want to ask but aren’t asking yet. Before you choke on it.”

John narrowed his eyes slightly, amusement showing in his eyes. Oliver had never met a man who was able to say so many things without saying anything. It just seemed written all over his face.

“When you say ‘people’ are moving on, do you have anyone particular in mind?” John asked and though he seemed like he wanted to sound casual, Oliver didn’t miss the meaningfulness in his voice. “Or is it just a weird coincidence that you changed your mind about getting ready after your dad told you that Felicity didn’t drop everything that she was working on the moment she got a position at QC offered.”

Oliver felt his stomach twisting slightly. He couldn’t deny that there wasn’t a germ of truth in this. He had made the decision to propose to McKenna that very same day his dad had told him that Felicity hadn’t taken the offer the moment it had been proposed to her.

Still, that hadn’t been the reason he had proposed. He had thought about it for a long time, but he knew that the one thing wasn’t the reason for the other. They had occurred at the same time, but they hadn’t determined another.

“Felicity’s decision just reminded me that I have to think about my future,” Oliver said and went past John to where he had dropped his boxing gloves. “At the end of the year, I will be at the head of the company. Professionally, I will have reached a lot, so it’s time to work in my private life.”

“If that’s what you are thinking.”

“It is what I am thinking,” Oliver said. “I wouldn’t get married if I wasn’t a hundred percent sure that it’s the right decision.”

John nodded slowly and released the quietest of a sigh. “If you say so.”

From the tone of John’s voice, Oliver guessed that his friend actually had a lot more to say. He stayed quiet though, so Oliver did the same.

He knew that his timing for the proposal was weird, but the thought that Felicity wasn’t going to come back to Starling had just reminded him that he couldn’t live in the past any longer. He wasn’t a kid or a teenager anymore. His best friend was still important to him, but they both had their own lives now and that was what was right.

Felicity was getting married to Carter. He was getting married to McKenna. They would work together and still stay best friends, but it was different now that they were adults.

Oliver punched his cushioned knuckles together a couple of times before he turned back to John once more.

“Are you in for another lap now?” he asked. “I have to leave in half an hour.”

John nodded slowly, putting his bottle of water to the bench and strolling over to Oliver. He put his boxing gloves back on like Oliver had before.

“A lunch date with McKenna?”

“Kind of,” Oliver replied. “We meet with my mom, McKenna’s mom, Thea and Felicity to plan our wedding.”

John nodded slowly. “I guess it’s time. The wedding is only a month away.”

There was a slight provocation in his voice, but Oliver ignored it. He just punched his fists together once more.

“Are we going to train now or are we going to talk?”

John lifted his fists in front of himself. “You start in the offense.”

Oliver nodded. “Sure.”

* * *

As soon as the motorcycle came to a stop in front of the mansion, Oliver rushed towards the door. He took off his helmet quickly, put it to the small sideboard in the foyer and continued his way to the living room.

“Sorry,” he said when he stepped in, already lifting his hands in a peaceable gesture. “I am so sorry. I lost my sense for time during training and the traffic has been hell.”

Walking around the table, he got himself a quick overview of where they were with the planning process. Several points on his mother’s list were already checked, but he couldn’t read her small, squiggly handwriting. From the open sample books, he guessed that they were currently talking about decorations.

With a soundless groan, Oliver figured that he could have been another ten minutes late. He really had no freaking idea what decorations were supposed to look like for a wedding. He didn’t even know what decorations were supposed to look like at home. He was sure the penthouse would be completely free of any decorations if it wasn’t for McKenna.

“Hi,” he said softly and kissed McKenna’s cheek before he sat down on the chair next to her. “Sorry.”

McKenna smiled and nudged his side playfully. “Don’t worry about it. This way I could make all the decisions without you.”

Oliver chuckled. He took McKenna’s hand under the table top and squeezed it gently. He was more than grateful that she wasn’t angry with him. He really didn’t want to seem like he wasn’t interested in the wedding because of course he was interested in it. He just wasn’t good at being on time, but he guessed McKenna already knew that.

He doubted that he had ever been on time for any date. Even during their first date he had been almost ten minutes late. It was a miracle that she had still agreed to go out with him after that.

“Where is your mom?”

“She had to cancel,” McKenna replied. “She has a migraine.”

Oliver shot her a comforting smile, knowing how close McKenna and her mother were. He was sure she would have liked her mother to be here for the planning too.

“I am sorry.”

McKenna shrugged her shoulders before she leaned closer to him and whispered, “At least that means we only have one mother trying to dictate what our wedding is supposed to be like.”

Oliver released a quiet hum and leaned even closer to McKenna. “I guess we should have hoped that my mother would have suffered from a migraine then because she’s certainly the one who’s going to make all the calls now.”

McKenna looked at him with a soft expression in her eyes that told Oliver that she didn’t mind much. He was actually sure that McKenna and his mother shared a similar taste, so maybe the fact that she was trying to take control in the planning McKenna didn’t mind as much as other brides would be bothered by it.

With the way McKenna looked at him, her eyes so full of warmth, there was a part of Oliver that wanted to ask her if she thought their wedding was rushed like John had suggested. She had never said anything like that, but he did wonder if he felt the same way now. He didn’t get to ask the question though.

“As I was just saying,” Moira, who was sitting at the head of the table and looking at Oliver with strict eyes, said before McKenna could reply, “the time to plan the wedding really isn’t much. I am confident that we will get the planning done in time though.”

Oliver was sure that his mother had overheard what he had said to McKenna. He knew her well enough to know that she didn’t mind though. She knew better than anyone else that she loved to call the shots. She loved to be in control because it was when she felt safest, and Oliver didn’t really mind. It was one day in his life. His mother could gladly make all the decisions about it.

He nodded his head and rubbed his hands together eagerly. “So, where are we at? I am ready to throw myself in here.”

McKenna smiled, happy about his enthusiasm it seemed. She pulled some of the sample books closer. They showed flowers, table sets and some light arrangements.

“Since we don’t have a lot of time, we decided it was best to let the wedding take place here,” she explained. “The mansion is a great location. We will have the ceremony outside in a white tent. I know it’s winter, so it’s going to be cold, but we will use patio heaters. After that, we will have the reception inside.”

Oliver nodded his head. He couldn’t exactly see this yet. He hadn’t been to a lot of weddings yet, so he didn’t have much experience with what weddings were supposed to be like yet. This sounded like a nice plan though.

“We picked some decorations,” McKenna added when Oliver didn’t say anything. “I decided that something simple but romantic was the right way for us.”

“Alright.” Again, Oliver nodded. “Have you decided on the food yet?”

McKenna chuckled. “I wanted to, but Felicity said that you would definitely want to have a say in that.”

“Oh, how right she is. And that’s why she’s my-“

Oliver stopped when he noticed that Felicity wasn’t focused at all. She had her head propped up onto her hand and stared out of the window. The expression in her eyes was empty though like she was staring without seeing anything. Her thoughts seemed to be somewhere far away from here.

“Felicity?”

Oliver cocked his head at her, but Felicity didn’t reply. She really seemed to be somewhere completely else. Frowning, he lifted his hand and waved it in front of Felicity’s eyes.

“Felicity?”

Saying her name in the slow way, syllable for syllable, like he usually did when he wanted to stop her from rambling. Felicity blinked several times until she looked at him, really looked at him. Her eyes were focused, the wordless question what was going on readable in them.

“What?” She fumbled with her ponytail briefly. “What were you saying?”

Oliver’s frown deepened slightly. Felicity was often preoccupied, but it was usually a hectic way of preoccupied. She had a thousand things in her head and tried to handle all of them at the same time. This felt different though.

“Is everything alright?” he asked.

“Yes,” Felicity replied quickly and put on a smile that didn’t reach her eyes at all. “Yes, everything is fine. Of course it is.”

Her answer confirmed what Oliver had known already. She wasn’t alright. She was far from being alright actually.

Oliver wondered if Carter was finally giving him a reason to punch him in the face. If he had hurt Felicity, he would certainly do that. Nobody would hurt Thea or Felicity unpunished as long as he got any say in this. He knew that neither of them needed a protector, but he couldn’t stop himself from feeling like he had to protect them.

“I’d say we continue with the dinner,” Moira said before Oliver could say more. “I already contacted some of the caterers we order food from for our charity events. They sent me some samples of three to five course menus.”

“Menus?” Oliver asked with a frown. “Don’t you think some canapés and a buffet are enough?”

“I would actually prefer a menu,” McKenna said, looking at him. “It’s just more comfortable for everyone than getting to the buffet.”

“At least everyone is replete when there is a buffet.”

Oliver had muttered the words, knowing the kind of caterers his mother usually hired and the tiny dishes they served. From the way McKenna was looking at him with pleading eyes, he knew that she had heard him though.

“Don’t worry. I am not going to let you starve,” she told him, rubbing her hand over his thigh. “If necessary, I will even leave all my food to you. I know you are obnoxious when you are hungry.”

“True, but as long as there is a Big Belly’s around, I could never starve anyway,” Oliver said. “Right, Felicity?”

Turning his head to look at her, Oliver saw Felicity flinching slightly at the mention of her name. Again, she looked like she had been somewhere completely else ten seconds ago. With eyes full of confusion, she looked at him.

“What?”

“I just said that-“ Oliver stopped himself, shaking his head slightly. “Nothing.”

Felicity smiled apologetically, and Oliver smiled back at her. As soon as she turned her eyes away from him though, he frowned and took her in thoroughly. She looked a little bit pale and there were slightly darkened rings under her eyes. He guessed she hadn’t slept much last night which only made him worry more.

Knowing that he had to address this at some other time when it was just him and Felicity, Oliver turned away from her and back to the conversation about the dinner for the wedding reception.

“So, do you agree to a menu, Oliver?” his mother asked.

Oliver nodded his head, glancing at Felicity with worry once more. “Yes, of course.”

Deciding what they could possibly order took a lot longer than it was supposed to. McKenna’s taste was quite different from his and neither of their tastes met what Thea or his mother envisioned. At the end, he just gave in to whatever McKenna, Thea and his mother wanted though.

His head just wasn’t in it. He was shooting nerves glances towards Felicity every now and then. She was staying out of the conversation as much as possible. Whenever someone asked her for her opinion, she just smiled tiredly and answered shallowly. She didn’t even sound like herself, especially given that she usually loved to talk about food.

Though she didn’t speak – or maybe because she didn’t speak – Oliver just knew that something was wrong with her. Felicity was hardly ever quiet. There was no way he could focus on any conversation as long as he didn’t know what was wrong with her. A thousand different scenarios flashed through his mind. Each one just made him more nervous.

At the end, they decided on a five-course menu with salad, a soup, three different entrees guests could choose from and a dessert.

“I will make sure that the menu cards will match the color scheme of the rest of the party,” Moira said and turned to Thea. “Do you want to help me with the layout?”

“How about I do the layout all on my own?” Thea asked. “You know I know my way around something like that way better than you do.”

“That’s true,” Moira agreed with a smile. “Felicity, would you-?”

“What?”

Oliver’s frown deepened as Felicity was pulled back from her thoughts again. Even Moira seemed to catch up on the weirdness of this now. She frowned slightly and cocked her head at her. Worry was visible in her deep blue eyes, the same worry that were there when Oliver or Thea weren’t feeling well.

“Felicity, Honey, are you alright?”

The question filled the room with heaviness. Nobody said a word while they were waiting for Felicity to reply. She was visibly nervous about the fact that everyone was staring at her. Her hands over the tabletop slowly, soothing the wrinkles from the tablecloth. Her eyes followed the movements.

Just when Oliver wanted to whisper her name again, Felicity grabbed her empty glass and lifted it.

“I need more water. I will head to the kitchen to get some.”

Before anyone could stop her or tell her that there was a full carafe of water on the table, Felicity had already gotten up and escaped the room.

“Is it just me or does Felicity seem a little off right now?” Thea asked. “I mean more off than she usually is?”

Oliver just nodded his head absentmindedly. Thea was right. He couldn’t agree more. The only time he had ever seen Felicity like that it had been when she had been sixteen years old and had thought that she had seen her father on the streets. That had led her to freak out and act just as weirdly as she had right now.

“You should follow her,” McKenna said quietly. “Maybe she needs help.”

Oliver shot McKenna a brief look. There was no doubt or hesitation in her eyes though, so he nodded quickly.

“Yeah.”

Kissing McKenna’s temple, Oliver got up and rushed out of the room. With held breath, he made his way downstairs into the kitchen.

He felt his anger increasing with every step he took. He didn’t even know what was going on yet, but something told him that it had something to do with Carter. Carter had done something to Felicity. He had hurt her or upset her or anything like that. Even without Felicity’s confirmation, he already knew it was true and he knew he would punch Carter in the face at the first opportunity given.

Oliver stopped in front of the kitchen door to squeeze his eyes shut and took in a deep breath. He clenched and unclenched his fists a couple of times until he felt some of the tension fading away from his muscles. He had to relax to talk to Felicity.

It took him at least two minutes before he felt ready to face her. Stepping into the frame of the door, his eyes found Felicity immediately. She was sitting at the kitchen island, her face hidden in her hands. She was taking deep breaths, but they sounded trembling.

“Hey.”

Felicity gasped for breath as her head snapped up. With her hand over her heart, she turned around to him. Her eyes were widened and full of shock. She really hadn’t heard him it seemed.

“Oliver,” she said, still sounding breathless. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to check on you,” Oliver replied honestly and took some steps closer. “You seem a little… off.”

Hesitation was written all over her face as Felicity seemed to consider what to do. She avoided his eyes for a moment like she needed to focus just on herself to decide what to do now. When she looked back at him, she was smiling. It didn’t reach her eyes though.

“I am fine,” she ensured. “All this wedding planning just reminds me how much work is still ahead of me and I don’t want to say too much because I don’t want you to snap away my ideas of a perfect wedding and-“

“Felicity.”

Oliver’s voice was soft when he interrupted her. He had stepped right in front of her and was rubbing his hands over her shoulders in a soothing way. Her eyes were completely focused on him now, her lips slightly parted as she was panting quietly.

There was a long moment of quiet. Oliver wasn’t sure if he should say what was on his mind. Eventually, he figured that he just had to ask her though. He wouldn’t have a quiet moment until he had gotten an answer that he could really believe.

“Felicity, did Carter do anything to you?”

“What?” Felicity frowned. “No. God, no. Of course he didn’t.”

Oliver bit down on his tongue, unsure if he should believe her. Maybe she was just covering for him or something. Felicity seemed to sense his doubt because she released a long breath. She pulled her hair tie from her ponytail and moved her fingers through her hair.

“I- I am just-“ Felicity took in a deep breath before she looked at him once more. “I am just so exhausted. Moving and learning the ropes and everything… it’s just been a lot lately and I feel like I am getting sick, so…”

She shrugged her shoulders and released another deep sigh. Her fingers moved through her hair once more before she tied it together into a messy bun. She pulled the sleeves of her shirt longer until her hands were disappeared inside completely. She crossed her arms in front of her chest then, but it almost looked like she was hugging herself.

Oliver looked at her closely, making Felicity avoid his eyes. Oliver when he put his hand to her shoulder, she lifted her gaze back to his.

“I think I need to go home and just lie down to rest a little.”

Oliver nodded his head. “Yes. Of course. I will drive you and-“

“No!”

Now it was Oliver who almost flinched. Her answer had come so quickly and so vehemently that he was actually startled by it. He frowned slightly, but Felicity chuckled though it just sounded tired.

“No, really.” She cleared her throat. “I should go home alone and you should be planning your wedding or they will make a limited list of drinks during the reception. No alcohol.”

Oliver groaned. “I am not attending anything that doesn’t offer a good scotch.”

Felicity smiled tiredly. “See? You are needed here. I will get home safe.”

“Okay,” Oliver agreed though he didn’t feel exactly safe about it. “But you will text me when you are home, so I know that you got home safe. Right?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Oliver nodded slowly before he wrapped his arms around Felicity and hugged her tightly. He rubbed his hands up and down her back to spend her a little bit of warmth. His lips brushed against the top of her head.

“I’d offer to get you anything you need, but I guess you are in good hands with Carter, right?”

At his question, Felicity pulled out of the hug and nodded her head with a still so tired smile.

“Yeah,” she whispered then, nodding her head once more. “He’s going to take good care of me.”

“Good,” Oliver replied though he didn’t want to imagine what that would possibly look like, “because I would kill him if he didn’t.”

Felicity didn’t reply to that. She almost looked like she was close to fainting, so Oliver felt even worse about letting her go alone. Felicity just brushed her hand against his forearm and went past him though.

“See you,” she whispered. “And have fun.”

“Thank you.” Oliver replied quietly, letting his gaze follow her to the door. “Take good care of yourself.”

“I will.” Felicity shot him one last look over her shoulder. “Bye, Oliver.”

“Bye, Felicity.”

With that, Felicity left. The bad feeling in his stomach stayed though. Something was wrong there. He just didn’t know what it was yet.

* * *

Tapping his fingers against the case with the chicken soup, Oliver watched the small numbers on the display over the doors. He had struggled with the question whether or not he should go to visit Felicity all day. He was still kind of struggling with it to be honest and he caught himself blinking at the button to take him back to the ground floor when the elevator stopped at the fifth.

When the doors opened in front of him, Oliver straightened his shoulders and stepped out. With a brief look around, he turned to his right and followed the hallway down to apartment 5E.

All day, he had had to think about Felicity. She had looked so terrible when she had left the mansion this afternoon that he had known that he just had to check on her. Of course he could have done so by calling her too, but he had the opportunity to visit her again now, so he would do so.

Before Felicity had moved to Boston for MIT, Oliver had always visited her when she had been sick. A lot of times, her mother had been busy with working in her shifts. She couldn’t have taken care of Felicity all the time. Felicity had known that, so she had always pretended that she wasn’t as sick as she was feeling around her mother. With him, she had been honest though.

Even back in that time, Oliver had always brought Felicity Raisa’s special chicken soup. Even when he had been a kid, she had always cooked it for him and later for Thea when they had been sick. It had always been better than any medication, so Oliver was sure that it wouldn’t be any different now. Felicity would be happy about it.

The fact that he could make sure Carter was treating her right was just an additional bonus.

If things were going great, Oliver would find Carter taking good care of Felicity. He could just leave the soup to them and leave to spend his evening with McKenna, knowing everything was alright. When he found out that Carter wasn’t taking care of Felicity the way he was supposed to though, he would push past the soreness in his muscles for a moment and punch Carter.

The thought almost filled his chest with an excited anticipation. He just couldn’t get used to Carter, so it was hard to pretend that he liked him.

When Oliver stopped in front of the door, he took in another deep breath. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. Maybe it was just because he had never gone to visit Felicity at Carter’s apartment before and the fact that Carter being in Felicity’s life actually made Oliver feel a little bit insecure. He couldn’t say why that was.

With a shake of his head, Oliver pushed that thought away and knocked at the door softly. He held his breath while he was waiting for the door to be opened.

The door stayed closed though and there were no sounds coming from the other side of the door. Oliver just knocked once more.

This time, steps were to be heard at the other side of the door. Only a moment later, Carter opened the door. He was looking weirdly casual in his jogging pants and the dark shirt. He almost looked like a normal human being. Maybe if Moira saw him like that, she would finally stop seeing a God in him.

“Oliver.”

Quickly, Oliver cleared his throat. He guessed that Carter had taken the day off early, so he could take of Felicity. He might be a real enrichment to Felicity’s life after all. She deserves someone who took care of her.

“Hi,” Oliver said and cleared his throat once more. “I just wanted to bring Felicity some soup.”

Oliver held out the case of soup for Carter. He looked down at it for a moment before he met Oliver’s eyes again with a soft Oh. He didn’t take the case form him though, making Oliver almost feel like an idiot.

“Felicity’s sick?”

Oliver frowned. “Shouldn’t you know that the best? I mean she’s probably lying in bed and sleeping, right? Maybe she was really just exhausted, but she looked like hell, so I figured that she could use some soup. Raisa always made it for us when we were kids, but I am sure it still helps now.”

Again, Oliver held out the case of soup for Carter. Again, Carter took a brief look at it but didn’t take it.

“Is everything alright?” Oliver asked eventually. “I mean Felicity is okay, right? She’s not too sick, is she?”

Felicity had never been sick often. Oliver remembered some times she had been sick, but it had never been too bad. Most of the times, she had had a flu or a stomach flu. It was annoying and stressing, but it had never been too bad.

“To be honest,” Carter said slowly, “I don’t know because Felicity does not live here anymore.”

Oliver frowned, now completely confused. “What?”

Carter sighed quietly. He opened the door a little further and leaned into the frame of the door. He looked uncomfortable talking about it, but Oliver couldn’t be considerate of that. He didn’t want to either.

“Felicity and I broke up.”

Oliver’s frown deepened. Two days ago, they had celebrated their engagement party. He and Felicity had left which had gotten him in a small fight with McKenna. Carter had seemed absolutely okay with that though. He hadn’t reproached Felicity for leaving their party or anything like that. Felicity hadn’t mentioned anything like that either.

She hadn’t even mentioned anything about this breakup when Oliver had talked about Carter earlier today.

“You- you what?”

Carter’s face showed even more uncomfortableness now. He shifted slightly, his muscles tensing. He looked back over his shoulder like he wanted to disappear.

“I think Felicity is the one who should tell you this.”

“Carter, if this is about the fact that we left during the engagement part, that is all on me. I was the one who convinced her to go. She didn’t want to. I have always had a bad influence on her, but I promise to try harder now and-“

Carter lifted a hand, making Oliver stop. He took in another deep breath and released it with a sigh. He didn’t look angry or particularly sad. It was hard to say what was in his face. It made him a lot calmer than Oliver thought a guy should be when his engagement had just been broken off.

“You should really talk to Felicity about this,” Carter said firmly, “and tell her to get well soon.”

Oliver nodded slowly, still not really understanding what had just happened. He guessed Carter was right which he didn’t even like to think. He stepped away from the door.

“Bye, Carter.”

“Bye, Oliver.”

Before Oliver had even turned around, Carter had already closed the door. Frowning, Oliver turned around and walked back to the elevator slowly.

After Felicity and Cooper had broken up years ago, he had been the first person she had called. The moment she had been out of his dorm room, she had called Oliver to tell him everything about it. They had stayed on the phone all through the night. They had watched movies together and eaten ice cream together despite the thousands of miles that had been between them.

He didn’t like that she had been keeping this from him. There had been too many secrets between them lately it seemed. Maybe the long distance that had been between them had had more effect on their friendship as Oliver had been able to see before.

As the elevator doors closed behind him, Oliver pulled his phone out from the back pocket of his jeans and dialed Felicity’s number. The dial tone rang several times before she took the call.

“Oliver. Hey.”

Felicity’s voice sounded a little raspy and Oliver could hear the tiredness and exhaustion in it. Although he was a little bit angry with Felicity for not telling him about this and though he was confused about everything Carter had just told him, his worry for her took over.

“Hey,” he said with soft voice. “Were you asleep? Did I wake you?”

“It’s fine,” Felicity said and released a long groan, telling him that she was probably stretching out her arms and legs. “Carter is probably coming home from work soon anyway.”

Oliver released a low sound. Felicity was holding onto that lie it seemed.

“Well, I guess I am going to let him spoil me with a lot of good food then,” Felicity added. “I mean it’s a good fiancé’s task to-“

“Felicity, I know that you and Carter broke up.”

“Oh.”

As Felicity fell silent, Oliver bit down on his tongue. He hadn’t wanted to ambush her with that, but he also didn’t want her to lie to him.

“Yes,” he said quietly. “Oh.”

Oliver could hear Felicity shift. Her breathing was shallow and uneven. Even through the phone he knew that she was uncomfortable.

“Can we meet?” Oliver asked. “I want to talk to you, but not on the phone.”

Felicity didn’t hesitate. “I am at Hochman Hotel, Room 5213.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” Oliver said. “See you.”

“Yeah.”

Oliver hung up and stepped out of the elevator. With fast steps he hurried over to his car and got inside. With the case of soup on the passenger seat, he drove through the city to the hotel.

The entire time, his thoughts were revolving around that one important question. Why had Felicity and Carter broken up?

Oliver hadn’t liked to admit it so far and he didn’t like to admit it now, but he hadn’t thought that Felicity and Carter’s relationship had been the one that had had a rough path in front of them until the wedding. Unlike him and McKenna, Felicity and Carter had always looked so in tune with each other.

Maybe the fact that they had decided to get married so soon had just gotten them into trouble. They had barely known each other, so maybe that had led to their break-up now.

Oliver could imagine how Felicity was feeling. She and Carter had been so happy, and now it was ruined. He might even understand why she had kept it to herself. Talking about it just made it official and, hence, true.

When Oliver reached the door to apartment 5213, he didn’t waste any time and knocked at the door immediately. It didn’t take long for Felicity to open, and Oliver just wrapped her into his arms, hugging her tightly, immediately. Felicity seemed surprised because it took her a moment to wrap her arms around him to and snuggle up to him. As she did, her the tension faded from her body though. She seemed a lot more relaxed.

Relief flushed through his veins at the feeling of holding Felicity in his arms safely. He angled his head forward and brushed his lips against the crown of her head. His nose nestled against her hair and he breathed her in deeply.

When Felicity leaned her head back to look at him, Oliver saw tears in the corners of her eyes. Frowning slightly, he brushed the tears away with his thumbs. He felt her sadness echoing inside of his chest the way he always did when Felicity was feeling sad.

“What happened?” he asked quietly.

With a deep sigh, Felicity stepped away from Oliver. He wanted to hold her against him, so he could comfort her more, but he understood that she needed some room. As he let go of her, Felicity went more into the small room. When she sat down on the bed, Oliver closed the door behind them and joined her there. He sat down on the mattress across from her and laced his fingers through hers.

Felicity lowered her eyes to their joint fingers and watched his thumbs stroking over the back of her hands. She stayed quiet, avoiding his eyes.

“Felicity.”

Oliver’s voice was soft. He didn’t want to pressure her, but he just had to know what had happened. He’d only get more worried with every second he didn’t know what had happened between her and Carter.

When Oliver squeezed her fingers encouragingly, Felicity lifted her eyes to his with a sigh. Looking at him, she shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know,” she said and to Oliver’s utter surprise it really sounded honest. “It just didn’t fit. I mean we barely knew each other and we might have had chemistry and we might have gotten along well, but it’s just not enough for a marriage.”

“Of course not,” Oliver replied quietly. “You need love and same goals and whatever else.”

Felicity nodded slowly. “Yeah, and I think we wanted something completely different out of life. We just didn’t know that until now. It’s good we found it out so soon though. I mean better now than after the wedding, right?”

Oliver smiled softly. It was quite rational of her to think that way, but he knew she was right. Once you were married, it was just harder to break all ties. It was still possible and easier than ever in modern times, but it was still hard.

“Of course,” Oliver said. “Of course it’s better.”

A long moment of silence spread. Oliver and Felicity looked at each other. He could see the same feeling of relief he was feeling in his chest being mirrored in her eyes. They both just felt the safest and the most comfortable when there were no secrets between them.

“What do you have there?” Felicity asked eventually, nodding towards the case Oliver had placed on the bed. “Did you bring me food?”

Oliver chuckled. “Of course I did. It’s Raisa’s special chicken soup. I thought you were sick, so it sounded like the best choice.”

“I love Raisa’s chicken soup,” Felicity said. She opened the lid of the case and smelled at the delicious food. “It smells as great as it did when we were kids. It smells like childhood.”

Oliver smiled. “I guess now that you are not sick, ice cream would have been the right food to bring though.”

“A whole bucket of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Yes.”

Chuckling, Oliver shook his head. Felicity’s desire for mint chocolate chip ice cream had always been strong. He was sure that she could live from that ice cream and nothing else for the rest of the world and it wouldn’t bother her. Well, maybe she would miss Big Belly’s Burgers.

Narrowing his eyes at her slightly, Oliver leaned forward. “So how about this? I will go and get everything we need to get you through the night – ice cream, wine, thrilling movies and everything else – and then we will have all the fun in the world.”

Felicity smiled, excited about the idea. They had had sleepovers so often and they could both probably recall a lot of great memories of those nights.

Before she had said anything, her smile fell slightly though. She frowned, cocking her head.

“Are you sure McKenna would be alright with that?” she asked. “I doubt that most women want their fiancé to spend a night away, especially with some other woman.”

“McKenna is not like that,” Oliver assured her. “She knows you’re my best friend, so you hardly count as some other woman.”

Saying that, he tapped his forefinger against the tip of Felicity’s nose. She scrunched up her nose slightly, but she chuckled amusedly nonetheless.

“I’ll be back in half an hour,” Oliver told her. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

While Felicity made herself comfortable in the pillows, Oliver walked to the door. He turned back to her there once more, winking at her. When Felicity smiled, he smiled back at her and eventually left the room.

As the door fell shut, he released a long breath. He guessed he could still punch Carter for something else then.

* * *

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thelaughingduchess · 5 years ago

Text

Hope For Everything

SPOILERS: Basically an AU ending for season 3. Takes place post 3x20, The Fallen, and then picks and chooses storylines from the remainder of the season.

DISCLAIMER: Arrow belongs to DC Comics. Title from Euripides.

AUTHOR’S NOTES: While doing a little work on another story, I found this drabble I'd written in 2015 sitting on my hard drive. It's kind of a silly alternate ending for Season 3 and I'm not sure it's post-worthy, but realityisoverrated, my incredibly talented sister, read it and said I should, so here we are.

The familiar piece of dialogue towards the end is blatantly stolen from 3x23, My Name Is Oliver Queen.

LINK:

AO3

Nothing is hopeless; we must hope for everything.

~Euripides, Hypsipyle

Felicity's apartment is empty. Which is a good thing because it should be. Having just come back from Nandar Parbat it would have been bad if someone had been inside when she'd gotten home. Very bad, actually. But still. The silence of her apartment seems loud.

Ray had stayed over the night before their lives had blown up, and his water glass is still sitting on the nightstand in her bedroom, along with his tablet. He'd been struggling with some coding before they'd fallen asleep, but she sees the solution to the problem as soon as her eyes run over it. She picks up the phone to explain what the fix is, but the pang of guilt twisting her heart tells her not to call. He's a smart guy. Surely, he's solved it by now.

She walks through the rooms of her house aimlessly. It's odd to feel the absence of someone who hadn't ever been there before, but flashes of a life she never had keep popping into her head. She can see Oliver there. See him fitting so perfectly into her space. He should be there.

She shakes off the idea because should be doesn't mean he ever will be. They hadn't said goodbye, but it was still what they'd done. The odds of escape had been overwhelming, but it had been his choice to stay in Nandar Parbat. The plane had been less than a mile away- so close and yet so far. It's the story of their relationship in a nutshell.

There's not enough ice cream in the world to process this. But there's a bottle of tequila with a few shots left in it and she drinks it fast, standing over the kitchen sink, letting the burn rush through her and then fade before she finally lets the tears fall.

She'd had everything. For one fleeting moment they'd belonged to each other.

And now she was back to square one.

He'd told her to live, so that's what she decides to do, starting with rebuilding the lair. She goes back to the Foundry and heads down the stairs with nervous steps. There's nothing really left to salvage since Captain Lance had seized everything they needed to function as Team Arrow. Her chair rests on its side on the ground so she rights it and then sits, spinning around and around while she thinks. They could always break into the SCPD warehouse and steal everything back. Her feet lift off the floor and she smiles softly, letting the momentum carry her in slow circles. She wonders what Oliver is doing. Maybe, a half a world away, he's dreaming about her.

The chair slows and eventually stops. Sitting directly in her line of sight is the stupid plant she'd bought in a moment of whimsy the previous September. She'd been at a farmer's market picking up the last of the sweet summer corn when she'd seen it. Something had told her to buy it, had told her that Oliver needed a little more life down there in the darkness. She'd been happy that morning, excited about working with him to get back QC. She'd had no idea how thoroughly the rug was about to be ripped out from under them.

She rises from the chair and picks up the fern, a few fronds falling off as it moves through the air. The soil is loose around the base and she pats it down until the roots are covered. It's a miracle it's survived- god only knows the last time someone watered it.

It feels wrong to take it out of the Foundry, but it feels more wrong to leave it. In the end, she thinks Oliver won't mind if it comes to live at her house for a while.

She tucks it under her arm and climbs up the stairs, pausing in the empty doorframe. Her free hand grips the splintered wood. "We're never coming back here," she whispers into the silent air. "Never."

She doesn't look back.

Thea is a handful. She doesn't understand why they're not moving heaven and earth to get her brother back. In all honesty, Felicity doesn't either. Diggle had said something about respecting choices and figuring out a long-term plan and Malcolm had been firm about not making a move until they had a strategy in place. She's not sure when he suddenly got a vote in their decision-making process, but somehow he has and it doesn't sit right. Thea doesn't seem to like it either.

It's odd to finally spend time with her. Thea has always been a vague blur in Felicity's mind, an interesting puzzle whose pieces never quite lined up. She owned two Birkin bags, but was in love with Roy. It was all kinds of confusing. Since they'd returned from Nandar Parbat, she and Thea had been talking every day, the two of them forming a tentative bond over how much they missed Oliver. Now that she's starting to see the measure of the girl, Felicity finds that she likes her.

Thea is still feeling her out.

"You want to do what Oliver asked, but what he asked is ridiculous."

"I know."

"My brother is kind of an idiot."

Her first impulse is to defend him, but Thea's not exactly wrong. "Based on what I've seen, that kind of goes hand in hand with being a hero."

The brunette rolls her eyes, dismissing Felicity as she walks to the fridge in the loft. "So, you're what? Some sycophant who does whatever he tells you? Oliver needs a girl with some fight in her."

Felicity tries not to let the words sting. Thea doesn't really know her. Not yet.

Malcolm Merlyn stands at the island in the kitchen humming while he chops up vegetables for their dinner. He looks completely at home and it's the creepiest thing Felicity's ever seen. Oliver wouldn't want him there. She doesn't either, but she can't exactly run him out of town with a pitchfork and an angry mob. At least not yet.

"I think Miss Smoak has more than enough fight in her to keep Oliver on his toes, Thea." He smiles at Felicity and oh man does she need to retract her previous statement. A smile being sent her way by Malcolm Merlyn is absolutely the creepiest thing she's ever seen. She'll be having nightmares for months.

She opens her mouth to argue his point because agreeing with a mass murderer is something she'll be comfortable doing never, but it would be counterproductive to do so in this case. "We can't move until we're ready. There's nowhere to run, Thea. Ra's wants his heir and Oliver's the only one that fits the bill."

Thea slams her hand against the stainless-steel door of the fridge, her eyes flashing hot. "That's not true."

It's possible that Thea's anger is a side effect of being resurrected via the world's worst in-depth spa treatment, but it's also possible that Felicity's reading into these outbursts. Maybe there's nothing more there than a sister missing her brother. "It is true, Thea. I wish that it wasn't. He'll find Oliver, or he'll come after-"

"That's not what I mean."

Malcolm Merlyn stops chopping. "Thea," he warns.

Felicity stands, feeling like something is about to change and hope blooms in her chest. "Tell me."

"Oliver isn't the only one that can fulfill the prophecy. I survived Ra's' blade too."

A joke about a souvenir t-shirt being the only thing they'd gotten for their troubles flits through Felicity's mind and she almost laughs. Not from the joke- that was terrible, it's just that this revelation is the opposite of helpful. Thea being the heir would be an even bigger nightmare. Oliver would burn down the world to stop it from happening.

Felicity shakes her head. "But you're not a man. If Ra's won't accept his own daughter as the heir, I'm pretty sure he won't accept you."

Malcolm changes his grip on the knife and for a moment Felicity feels threatened as if he's deciding whether or not he needs to kill her because of what she's just said. It's weird because it's not like Felicity is about to go telling anyone that Thea also fulfills the prophecy. "And technically, you did die from his blade. Totally flatlined. It was modern science that saved you. That really doesn't mesh with ancient prophecies."

"Yeah, well ancient prophecies are bullshit," Thea says.

"Ain't that the truth," Felicity says softly. Merlyn eyes her for a long moment and Felicity fights the urge to shiver. He finally goes back to chopping, but goosebumps continue to break out over her skin as she rises and slides on her coat.

Thea crosses to her quickly. "Please stay." There's desperation in her eyes, as if she knows that Malcolm is more devil than dad. "There's enough for all three of us and you said you'd tell me about your trips to Lian Yu."

Thea tilts her head and the movement is so like Oliver that Felicity's breath catches. "Sure."

Thea hugs her tightly. "Thank you," she whispers and that isn't like Oliver at all.

The new lair Felicity sets them up in is an abandoned subway tunnel that's blocked off on one side by rubble. Something feels right about starting over in the location that was central to the mission that had brought them all together in the first place. It's dark and damp and dirty as hell, but it also has high enough ceilings for a salmon ladder. She's not embarrassed to admit it's the first thing she thought of.

She redirects power from the buildings above them, and then builds a new system with computers generously provided by Palmer Technologies. And by generously provided she means stolen, but it's not like Ray would have said no if she'd asked him. It's nowhere near as flashy as the basement of Verdant, but it makes getting around the city easier and the first night Laurel and Thea start sparring on the mats behind her, Felicity smiles. If she closes her eyes, it almost feels like home.

Oliver returns on a Tuesday and whatever joyful reunion she'd imagined in her own mind is wiped away by the cold, calculating look in his eyes as he shoots a second arrow into Nyssa. He's definitely been brainwashed. Felicity should have learned by now not to get her hopes up.

She's never been afraid of him, though. Not once. Not back in the beginning when he was a killer and not ten minutes ago when he'd used her as a shield to escape the threat of Digg's weapon. She won't be afraid now. As soon as she fears him it's over.

He lifts his bow at Laurel and Felicity doesn't hesitate as she steps between them, her arms stretched out as if she can create a safe space on each side. "Oliver. Stop!"

Nyssa is badly wounded, the arrows through her thigh and shoulder dripping with blood. The metallic smell of it hangs in the air and good god, when had the scent become more familiar than alarming?

Laurel picks up on Felicity's cue and decides to ignore Oliver as she kneels down beside Nyssa. Her hands fumble a little as she unzips her jacket but her voice is strong as she orders the other woman to stay still. She peels away the leather and then whips off her shirt as Diggle cautiously makes his way to them, his gun in his hand but not aimed at anyone. Laurel uses her top to make a tourniquet around Nyssa's upper thigh and Diggle rests the gun on the ground before cutting off the tip of the arrow.

Nyssa curses at Oliver as Diggle lifts her. At least Felicity assumes that's what she's doing. It's in Arabic, but the sentiment seems clear enough.

When Felicity turns to fully face him she finds that Oliver hasn't moved. His bow is still taut, the arrow ready to loose and she knows the muscles in his arm must be burning. "Oliver. Put down your bow."

She can hear the crunch of gravel behind her as Diggle starts walking away and then she hears the zip of Laurel's jacket. She doesn't look back at either of them. Laurel walks towards her and Felicity shakes her head at the sound of the approaching footsteps. "Laurel, go with Digg."

"I'm not leaving you with him."

Oliver raises the bow a fraction of an inch, and Felicity knows he's calculating a way to shoot around her. It's comforting in a very strange way. He's still in there.

She turns away from him and looks at Laurel. "I'm fine. You should go."

Laurel's eyes dart back and forth between them before she nods. "Come back to us, Ollie. We need you." She spins on her heel, running off before he can respond.

They're alone on the street now, just the two of them. And it should feel scary, but it mostly feels amazing. He's alive and he's there and she can still feel the ghost of his hands on her body.

He lowers the bow. "You shouldn't have interfered."

"Surprisingly, all evidence points to the contrary. What are you doing?"

Oliver's head drops and the contrast between the defeated pose and the menacing uniform is a little bit funny. His head comes back up and she can see the coldness sliding back into place. "She still calls herself the heir. I have to kill her."

"There are a lot of things you might think you have to do, but I can tell you right now that is not one of them."

He shakes his head and it's unnerving not to be able to see the lower half of his face. At least with the mask, she could read him. Now it's all darkness.

His hand flexes tightly around the bow, the leather of his glove creaking loudly. "Next time I won't hesitate. Not even for you."

"I don't believe that for one second."

Instead of arguing he stalks off. She can't physically stop him or fight him or get him to do what she wants, but she does have a hold on him. It's the same hold he has on her and she's not afraid to use it. "I love you, Oliver."

He stops in his tracks and then turns back to face her. "Oliver Queen is dead. My name is Al Sah-him."

"You can call yourself Barney the Dinosaur for all I care. I love you. And I'm not giving up."

Oliver's head cocks to the side and somehow she knows that he's fighting a smile behind that mask. At that moment she decides- she's going to win. "You'll have to live with your actions, so don't kill anyone else if you can help it. I'll see you soon. I promise."

He walks away without comment. The moon is large and bright in the sky above and a few pigeons fly off the ledge of a building as he goes. Felicity waits until the night is still before heading in the opposite direction.

"Sara lives."

Felicity's head snaps up from her computer as a recently healed Nyssa seems to magically appear in the lair. It would be super cool if it also weren't super annoying. She needs Cisco to make them some sort of perimet- "Wait. What?"

"Ta-er al-Safar is alive."

"That's what I thought you said, but then I thought you couldn't have said that because Sara is dead."

"No."

It's too much to hope for. "Nyssa," she says gently. "This wasn't like the other times when Oliver just thought she was dead. I saw her. I washed the blood out of her hair with my own hands."

Nyssa stares at her for a long moment, taking in this information. Her eyes soften before she speaks. "My father has gifted me her life."

Felicity doesn't need to ask how. The world seems to spin and she slumps back heavily in her chair, which actually does start to spin. Not that the world isn't spinning too, because it is, all the time, but she can't feel that. The movement of the chair, however, is too much. She grabs the edge of her desk because if she doesn't she's going to vomit and she can't embarrass herself like that in front of Nyssa. "Why?"

"I will give him the thing he wants most in the world."

Felicity had thought that was Oliver. What more could Ra's want? "And what exactly is that?"

"The price does not matter."

Felicity nods, because what else can she do? Sara is alive. Their Sara. She picks up her phone and calls Laurel.

It takes almost a day to travel to Nandar Parbat, but this time when Nyssa, Diggle, Laurel, and Felicity walk up to the fortress, there isn't a throng of people waiting for them to arrive. The place feels eerily empty.

Malcolm and Thea are back on the plane, waiting to hear if they can be useful and it's odd to feel comforted by the fact that they're there. Thea hadn't wanted to stay behind and so she had come as a way to ensure Malcolm wouldn't betray them at the first opportunity. Felicity just hopes the idea won't come back to bite her in the ass. While they're apart, Malcolm could always steal Thea away to somewhere they can't find her and Felicity's pretty sure Oliver won't love her all the more if this plan goes awry.

Nyssa blends in with the dark of the landscape and Felicity takes a deep breath, the air cold in her lungs as the four of them approach the imposing doors of the fortress. She hasn't seen Oliver in weeks and she can't help the nervous excitement that fills her at the idea of him being close by. She'd shaved her legs before leaving Starling City. It was a ridiculous thing to have done, but she had to have hope. Last time she'd been there she'd been sad not to have on cuter underwear. You never knew what could happen.

Dig seems calm enough when they come to a stop, but Laurel is bristling with anxiety, her hands clenching and unclenching as she waits for something to happen. The moment Nyssa steps forward the doors creak open. It feels to Felicity as if she willed them to.

When they pass through the threshold Oliver is waiting and it takes all her strength not to run to him. His hood is pulled back and, with his now close-cropped hair and minimal stubble, he looks thinner. His eyes scan over her without emotion but he almost blanches when he sees Laurel. He turns to face Nyssa. "You shouldn't have brought them. I told you to wait."

"I am no servant awaiting your orders."

"But you will be my wife."

"I fail to understand what one has to do with the other," Nyssa snaps.

"I'm sorry, what?" Laurel asks and Felicity couldn't be more grateful to have her there because her lungs have stopped working and that is an excellent question.

Nyssa turns and faces them, her lips twisting into a smirk. "In exchange for Ta-er al-Safar's life, I have agreed to marry Al Sah-Him."

Diggle coughs lightly and Felicity almost smacks him. "Oliver?" she asks, too shaken to be ashamed of the way her voice cracks over his name.

Nyssa steps towards her, placing her hand on Felicity's shoulder. "There is no need to mourn for the loss of your love, Felicity. I will name you his consort."

Digg does more than cough this time and Oliver takes a menacing step towards him, which is ridiculous. But not more ridiculous than what Nyssa is saying.

"It is a great honor. You will help raise our children," Nyssa continues.

Laurel slaps a hand to her own forehead and turns in a circle, clearly wondering what terrible thing she'd done in her life to end up there. "Sorry to intrude on your little soap opera over there, but where exactly is my sister?"

Oliver hesitantly steps towards her and it's then that Felicity knows something is very, very wrong. "Laurel," he says, his hand wrapping around her elbow. "You shouldn't be here."

"Take me to her," Laurel says, yanking her arm from his grasp. "Now, Oliver."

Feral is the only word to describe her. Their Sara is now a monster trapped in a sunken pit at the center of a room that must have been some sort of amphitheater. Sara's hands are covered in blood, her fingernails ripped out by her attempts to claw away at the door and there is a chain around her neck. When she sees them watching, she howls.

Laurel goes very still, but Nyssa collapses down hard onto one of the curved stone benches. Felicity is stunned by the show of emotion. In all honesty, her first instinct is to fall apart too, but she slides her hand into Laurel's and squeezes instead. "Thea had some trouble at first," she tells her softly. "Not this much trouble, but she jumped out of the Lazarus Pit like a flying squirrel and attacked Oliver. It passed in a few days. Sara was dead a lot longer than her. She probably just needs more time."

Laurel nods and takes a deep breath, her eyes never leaving her sister. "How do I get down there?"

Oliver leads the way.

"I want to take her to Star Labs," Laurel announces later, when they're sitting in Nyssa's room.

"It's a good idea," Felicity says. "But we can't right now." Laurel's eyes narrow at her, but she waits for Felicity to explain. "There's some stuff going on there involving some truly bad people. We don't want Sara to fall into the wrong hands. Not again."

Laurel's eyes fill with tears. "She can't stay here, Felicity. She can't stay in that hole."

"I know."

Oliver stands guard in one corner without offering any words of comfort and it's this silence that starts really pissing Felicity off. "I can't believe you let them put her in there," she lashes out, not even attempting to hide her disappointment. He hasn't apologized once, hasn't offered up any explanation for how or why Sara had been left in the dirt and the dark. For three days she'd been in there, terrified and alone. The idea that Oliver allowed it scares the hell out of her.

He doesn't explain himself. He just turns and walks out.

Digg stops her from rising with a hand to her shoulder. "Let him go, Felicity."

She's afraid that he doesn't just mean for right now. "Keep an eye on Laurel," she tells him and Digg's hand falls away. She's out in the hallway chasing after Oliver in the blink of an eye.

"Oliver!"

He doesn't slow down.

"Oliver!" She runs, her legs shaking with anger and adrenaline as she races to his side and grabs at his arm.

He wrenches it away. "Not here."

"Fine." She falls in line beside him, refusing to shorten her strides or to let him take the lead. He's not the heir to anything in her mind and she'll be damned if she's going to scamper after him.

He pushes open the door to his room and walks in and when she shuts it behind them her anger falters. She'd come to him with wildly different intentions the last time she'd been there.

Oliver yanks off the outer leather coat of his League uniform, tossing it onto the small red sofa, and she swallows hard, refusing to take any enjoyment from the way his shirt skims over his body. "You'd better start explaining."

"The Heir to the Demon doesn't explain himself to anyone."

"Well Oliver Queen does, so start talking."

He stalks towards her, which is all hot and manly, but she's not going to focus on that. No she's going to focus on the fact that he's being a jackass. And not even a regular jackass- a huge jackass. A super huge jackass who is also slowly backing her up against the door they'd just walked through. "What are you doing?"

Her back bumps the wood and he rests a hand on either side of her, trapping her in place. He stares at her with dark eyes and she waits for them to soften, for him to show her some sort of sign that it's Oliver she's dealing with and not Al Sa-him. The coldness doesn't dissipate, though, even when he glances down at her mouth.

"I hate your hair," she whispers defiantly.

Oliver's mouth is on hers in an instant, fierce and strong as he kisses her deeply. Felicity is still pissed, but that's no reason to not kiss him back. His hands slide through her hair roughly, getting caught in some tangles as they travel but she welcomes the tugs- at least she knows she's not dreaming. She steps towards him, wrapping her own arms around his shoulders, her hands skimming his head and then roaming wherever they can reach. He's alive. He's alive and he's there and she loves him. It's enough somehow, even though there's no way it actually can be.

The need for air eventually causes Oliver's lips to still and they both breathe deeply as he tips his head forward. He rests his forehead against hers and closes his eyes. "It's good to see you," he murmurs.

Felicity couldn't agree more. It's good to see him, too.

Felicity wasn't joking with Ra's when she said she'd go to war to get Oliver back, but now that she really knows what she's giving up if he stays, her focus seems sharper. Her mind races with ways to take the man down. She's already got feelers out for the League's bank accounts because there's nothing she'd like more than to wipe that balance to zero. She imagines stranding the League in Nandar Parbat and smiles at how satisfying it's going to feel. She won't even leave enough cash to keep them in candles.

Right now though, she needs to bide her time and lay low. Somehow Ra's Al Guhl doesn't know he has visitors and Nyssa and Oliver both want to keep it that way.

She sits on Oliver's bed and watches him dress, fascinated by the shift in his personality once the uniform goes back on. Oliver has always been fluid, but this is crazy. It's like he has a Pavlovian response when the coat zips closed. A minute ago he was nuzzling her neck, but the warmth is gone now. He's still him. But he's not. She doesn't get it at all, but then she's never been good at compartmentalizing.

"Don't leave the room," he says gruffly.

She nods, even though she has no intention of obeying him. She needs to talk to Diggle and Laurel and she wants to check on Sara at some point.

Oliver pauses at the door, turning to look back at her and she smiles at him softly. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

He nods his head but she knows it's not a promise he intends to keep either.

Ten minutes later Nyssa knocks on the door. "Oliver is to be titled today. As his future bride, I am expected to be there."

"Sounds like a hoot."

"The entire League will be in attendance. It is an optimal time for me to remove Sara."

Felicity nods, a bubble of nervous excitement starting to rise. "What can I do?"

The other woman smiles.

Nyssa has some serious explaining to do.

That's all Felicity can think as she and Oliver stand together at the head of a room full of assassins. Ra's Al Guhl sits on a throne a few feet in front of them watching whatever is going on with interest. Felicity is wearing the bulky leather garb of Nyssa's uniform and her face is covered, her hood pulled down low and her mask pulled up high. This is not what she'd signed up for.

The priestess lady she'd stolen the knock out powder from on their last trip is chanting something and wafting a bunch of smoke over them and Felicity is pretty sure that Nyssa has lied. This doesn't really seem like an official Heir To the Demon naming ceremony. If she didn't know better, she'd say this was a wedding.

She is not going to panic.

The chanting cuts off and the lady steps in front of her. After a few seconds, Oliver shifts beside her in the silence, the leather of his own uniform creaking with the movement. They're clearly waiting for her to do something.

The lady repeats herself, which isn't helpful at all because Felicity has no idea what she's saying. She catches Ra's al Guhl's ringed hand sliding to the hilt of his sword and she swallows hard. Nyssa had told her to say something if prompted. She hopes she gets the pronunciation right.

"أنا افعل" She says quietly.

Oliver's posture shifts instantly, going from at ease to attention at the sound of her voice. He turns his body slightly towards her as the priestess addresses him, but, with the hood pulled so low, Felicity can't see anything more than his leather-clad chest.

When the priestess stops talking again, Oliver reaches over and takes Felicity's hand. "أنا افعل," he says.

The moment feels huge.

One of the priestess' minions pulls out a leather cord and starts binding her wrist together with Oliver's and oh god, this is a wedding. She totally just got married. Her mother is going to kill her.

She gulps in some air, sweating a little under all the leather as the enormity of what's going on sinks in. Her heart races in her chest as Oliver squeezes her hand gently.

She needs to calm down. It's not so bad, really. There are millions of women who'd agree to marry Oliver Queen no matter what the circumstances. Besides, it's not like the marriage is legal or anything. They hadn't had a blood test for one thing, which was kind of ridiculous on Ra's part. Surely, he wanted Oliver to start popping out some mini heirs to the demon and what if it turned out they were related or something?

Oh god. There's no way they're related, is there?

She runs down her family tree in her mind as the minion ties off the binding and decides that even though her dad's side is a bit hazy, it's safe to assume that they're not. Ra's doesn't know that, though. He's leaving an awful lot up to chance. Except, it suddenly dawns on her, he isn't, because Nyssa is the one supposed to be marrying Oliver. Ra's thinks she's Nyssa. Oh, god.

The minion pulls her and Oliver forward and when he places their clasped hands on a giant slab, Felicity's heart leaps into her throat. It all seems very ominous.

The priestess whips out a small blade and every instinct in Felicity's body starts telling her to run. Oliver must know what she's thinking because his hand slides to her wrist and tightens around it like a vice as he holds her in place. She can feel his panic over her reaction and she screws her eyes shut, thinking she'll handle it better if she can't see.

The cut, when it comes, is exactly as painful as she thinks it will be and Felicity bites her lip hard, knowing she absolutely can't scream. Her eyes open in time for her to see the knife slashing down onto Oliver's palm and then their hands are being pressed together, their blood mixing.

The priestess pulls their hands apart before sprinkling some sort of powder onto their gashes. The burn of it makes Felicity's knees buckle. The wound on her hand seems to seal in an instant, leaving a deep red scar permanently seared along her lifeline.

She's panting behind the mask now, the leather making it difficult to breathe, and she stands in a daze as Oliver reaches over to undo the cord around their wrists. The priestess takes it from him and then throws it in the air. Felicity looks up and watches as it bursts into flames.

Her hood falls back and the hall erupts into chaos.

Oliver grabs her hand and they run, but they don't get far.

Ra's is behind them, and then suddenly in front of them, his sword whirling as Oliver dodges and parries with his own. It's weird to see him without the bow, but it's not like he's bad with the sword.

He's just not as good.

She takes the first opportunity that presents itself to run for backup, ignoring the guilt of abandoning Oliver as she shouts for Diggle. She weaves through the maze-like halls and her relief when Dig comes flying around a corner is palpable. He has his gun out already and she reminds herself that a gun trumps a sword. At least she hopes it does.

Laurel is behind him and the three of them race back towards the sound of the fighting.

When they get back to Oliver, he's no longer fighting alone. Malcolm Merlyn and Thea are beside him, the three of them fending off attackers as they pour into the space like a swarm of bees.

Felicity circles around, feeling useless without a weapon and is just about to yank a torch from the wall when a pair of arms wrap around her.

She knows it's Ra's, because of course it is, and in her mind she travels back to the way it felt when Slade held her like that. Back then she hadn't panicked. Of course, back then she'd also had a plan.

Ra's shoves her against a wall, and she stumbles as she turns, watching in horror as his sword flies up. She's going to die. She's going to die thousands of miles from home in Nandar Parbat. Hopefully her mother will take some comfort in the fact that she'd died a married woman.

Felicity shuts her eyes, but the sound of metal hitting metal clangs loudly in front of her and her eyes fly open again.

It's possible she's dead because what she's seeing can't be real. Sara stands between her and Ra's, her escrima stick knocking the sword from his hand.

Felicity had dreamed of this type of moment more than once in her life, but it had always seemed ridiculous. She'd lost a lot of people and none of them had ever come back.

Well, Cooper. But she didn't really count him. The guy running around in her first love's skin was a totally different person than the one she had mourned. A lesser person, actually. And it wasn't like he'd come back for her.

Sara cracks her staff across Ra's' face and he whirls with the movement, completely off balance. Nyssa is behind him and she raises her sword to strike, but he uses his momentum to dodge the blow. Still, he can't get away from them.

Sara is a whirl, with long blonde hair and toned arms that haven't lost their muscle definition in death. She looks pale and wild, but it's clearly their friend. None of them had ever thought they'd see her again. Felicity is beyond glad to be wrong.

The three of them fight, and there is something so strong about Sara, so powerful that it strikes a note of fear in Felicity's chest. This is Sara, their Sara, but the Pit has also made its mark.

Oliver is beside the younger Lance sister in an instant and Felicity knows that he must be fighting a wave of emotion, pushing it down so he can focus on the fight at hand. Later, things will hit him. Later he'll let himself feel.

He attacks mercilessly, the two of them driving Ra's backward towards Nyssa, who suddenly lunges towards her father and drives her sword through his chest. Blood starts pouring out of his mouth.

It takes Felicity a moment to realize she doesn't want to see this. She turns away, only to find Diggle standing beside her. He wraps an arm around her shoulder and it's the safest she's felt in months.

The din of the fighting dies off as everyone focuses on the history being made in front of them. Diggle whispers her name and Felicity looks up. Ra's is dead on the ground, Nyssa standing over him with a smile.

Another attacker charges towards them but then falls to his knees in front of Nyssa. All around them members of the league are dropping their swords and falling down in supposition. Nyssa turns to Oliver, who lays his sword at her feet and kneels like a knight from a storybook.

Malcolm Merlyn snarls.

"Who knew he'd be so easy to get rid of?" Felicity asks later, stepping beside Sara and Oliver as they watch Malcolm exit the heavy doors of the fortress.

"I doubt it's the last that we'll see of him," Sara says.

Oliver nods. "He was supposed to be Ra's. We'd made a deal. He's not going to accept this."

Nyssa approaches them slowly, a bag slung over her shoulder. "I do not fear Malcolm Merlyn."

Felicity doesn't share her confidence. Malcolm scares her to the depths of her bones. Ra's, for all his brutality, never came close to inspiring the same level of fear in her. He'll be back someday and she's not looking forward to it.

Nyssa stops in front of Oliver and drops the bag at his feet. "Your time here is over, Oliver Queen. Do not return."

Oliver smiles sharply, his eyes glinting steel in the dim light. "Don't give me a reason to."

They gather up Digg, Thea, Sara, and Laurel and the six of them head to the jet. The entire walk there, Felicity fears that Malcolm will have stolen it, but when they make their way around the final bend, the plane is still sitting there waiting.

Sara hesitates as Digg and Thea make their way on board, looking back in the darkness and searching for something. Laurel takes her hand and leads her up the steps. "You'll see her again, Sara. Just come home for now." They follow Thea into the plane.

Felicity and Oliver stand in the moonlight of the desert, the wind lightly sliding around them. She smiles at him. "You ready to go home?"

Oliver tenses and looks out at the horizon. "Felicity, I need to tell you something."

She raises her newly scarred hand and shows him her palm. "We got married, right? That's what this means?"

Oliver takes a deep breath, his eyes wary as he nods. "Yes."

There's an odd rush of excitement in her, a flutter of joy, but she tamps it down quickly. They'd been given no choice- it was a marriage forced onto both of them. She wants to be with Oliver, maybe someday she'll want to be with him forever, but not like this. "Should we fix that before we go? I'm not sure we can get a quickie divorce in Vegas for a marriage made in Nandar Parbat. We didn't even get any paperwork."

Oliver shifts on his feet. "It can't be undone."

It makes sense, she supposes, except that it really doesn't. "That priestess lady can't just say a few words and dissolve it?"

Oliver crosses his arms over his chest. "No."

Felicity nods, trying to wrap her mind around it. She's married to Oliver. Once upon a time, it would have been her wildest fantasy, but now it's the most terrifying thing that's ever happened to her. "Guess we're stuck with each other then."

Oliver grimaces as he gives her a curt nod, which only serves to make anger flare in her belly. It wasn't her fault they were married. Nyssa had tricked her. "Nyssa didn't tell me what was going on, Oliver. She told me it was like your coronation or something. I'm sure none of it is legal. It doesn't have to mean anything."

Oliver reaches for her hand. "What if I want it to?"

Felicity's heart stutters in her chest as the blood rushes to her head. For a second the world doesn't make sense, but then she remembers. Oliver loves her. "Oh."

Oliver takes a step towards her, crowding in closer. "I know I have a lot to explain and that this isn't the way either of us would have wanted it to happen, but…"

Felicity nods waiting for him to continue. When he stays silent her anger surges. Oliver loves her and she loves him, but they can't stay in the same limbo they'd been living in. Things could be good, but only if he'd try.

Oliver takes a deep breath, his free hand coming up to cup her face. "Every night since the mountain, I've had the same dream. You are pleading with me not to go face Ra's and I listen to you. Sometimes the dream still ends badly; I still end up with that sword in my chest, but most of the time we escape and we're just driving. And all this seems…it seems so far away because it's just…it's the two of us."

It's a nice thought and his sincerity is clear, but it's just a dream. A fantasy. "That's not the real world though, Oliver."

Oliver's thumb strokes over her cheek. "But what if it could be?"

It would be so easy to indulge him, so easy to say yes to leaving everything behind and just driving off into the sunset. But it's not him. And it's not her, either. "Oliver, I would go anywhere with you, you have to know that, but we can't just walk away. The bad guys don't stop just because we need a break. Malcolm will-"

"Why does it have to be us? There's Laurel, and Digg, and Sara now too. There are other people who can do what we do." He leans in to brush his lips against hers. "Come away with me."

This is the moment. The moment she'd imagined for months now. Oliver deciding that he wanted her more than the mission. But what would they be without a city to save? Would they even work?

Oliver is looking at her softly, his eyes full of hope and it stuns her to see the truth. What he wants more than anything, is her.

"Where would we go?"

Oliver shakes his head. "Anywhere. I don't care, so long as you're with me."

Felicity smiles. "Then let's go."

#olicity fic #olicity fanfiction #olicity fanfic #arrow fanfiction #arrow fanfic #arrow #olicity #my fic: hope for everything

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laurabelle2930 · 6 years ago

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At Last... An Olicity fic inspired by @mel-loves-all

Okay so my dear and amazing friend @mel-loves-all has been making these amazing mood boards. I was so inspired by this Mood Board that I asked if I could write this fic. She agreed so here it is! The song “At Last” is by Etta James. The mistakes are all mine and once again the idea came from Mel!

Link to the Mood Board is posted above and below:

https://mel-loves-all.tumblr.com/post/175888837918/olicity-modern-au-moodboard-oliver-queen-owner

Read it here or on AO3

“At Last”

Two Months...

That’s how long Oliver Queen had been troubled, beguiled, inspired and, tortured by the woman at the end his bar… Oliver felt Tommy’s hand fall over his slumped shoulder before a soft, “Ollie are you ever going to give Clive back his weekend shifts?” left his signature smirk.

“It’s complicated,” Oliver managed to croak before his forehead fell to his forearm and, everything around him began to slowly blur….

Two Months Ago…

Every story has a beginning and, this tale was no exception. Oliver’s problem began about five years ago when he and his best friend Tommy Merlyn decided to thwart their parents expectations and, go into business together. Tommy’s father was Malcolm Merlyn and Oliver’s was Robert Queen. Both men were CEO’s of global companies and, both men wanted their sons on their respective thrones.

Oliver and Tommy both graduated with honors from Yale business school even though they both found the business world unbearable. They both wanted to make their father’s proud but, neither of them wanted the life that was laid out before them. It was a random act of fate that created the life they now thrived in.

The idea for the club was formed when Oliver met his father at an abandoned factory before they went for a late lunch. The building then was a condemned pile of steel and drywall but, all Oliver could see was the potential for more. Robert’s plan was to encourage Oliver’s creative thinking skills. Robert hoped that Oliver would find the buildings business potential. Robert never thought his son would see Verdant; Starling City’s most popular jazz club in nearly twenty years.

The details for how both Robert and Malcolm were convinced to loan them the seed money was long and tedious but, needless to say the money was granted and, both men were determined to succeed.

Now after five years Verdant was thriving. Oliver and Tommy had been smart enough to book established acts while also encouraging unknown talent. Weekends we're for the big names like the “Lyla Michaels Experience”. On the weekdays they held open mic nights for the local artists who were hoping to spread their wings by singing/performing for a live audience. The club itself was a two story building with wide open spaces and, windows to spare. In order to give the club a more intimate feel they’d filled the empty spaces of the first floor with oversized leather couches and comfortable oversized chairs to match. The cement floors were covered with dark hardwood panels and the walls were painted with hues of black, gray and green. The front doors had stained glass panels that glittered in the sunlight and, even glowed in the moonlight. The entire back wall was filled with floor to ceiling windows that let the world in both during the night and the day.

Up against those windows was the stage. The dance floor of course was in front of the stage with small tables positioned at the edges for ease of access. The second floor held Oliver and Tommy’s offices, the employee break room and, another 40 tables for the patrons who’d rather listen than dance.

They had a small but, responsible staff that was made up of friends and family. Sara Lance bartender and server extraordinaire was the younger sister of Laurel Lance who had once been in a relationship with Tommy. The romantic relationship between Laurel and Tommy ended but, the friendship between Laurel, Tommy and even Sara remained. Sara and Tommy had over the years become the best of friends. They’re bond was even strong enough that they eventually became sometime roommates whenever either of them was newly single. Clive their weekend bartender was an old classmate and Oliver’s college roommate. Oliver’s younger sister Thea was a server, her husband of a year Roy was another bartender. Even Laurel the attorney by day picked up a serving shift for extra cash about twice a week. Oliver and Tommy served as both bartenders and servers when needed but, the club while large always felt small and, intimate.

The night everything changed began with Oliver in a panic. No scratch that Oliver was just plain pissed off. His stormy blue eyes fell to his watch as the phone rang for the third time. He mumbled as the small hand inched toward the small, italic five. The front door’s were beginning to swing back and forth steadily as the night crowd began to move through the dimly lit room.

His soft mumbled, “Of all the nights for my bartender to be sick,” went unnoticed while the room around him slowly began to fill.

The phone rang for the fifth time. Oliver’s patience was nearly gone when to his dismay a very sick sounding voice gargled out a weak, “Ollie please don’t be mad…”

His heart sank to his stomach as a whispered, “Please don’t tell me you and, Clive are both sick?” fell from his frowning lips.

The voice on the other end of the phone coughed out a weak, “Yes and, before you ask no.”

Oliver’s frown grew. He knew what that no meant and, yet he still groaned, “Oh come on Tommy! Sara can’t still be angry about that? It was one drunk guy and, we both had him thrown out!”

His sick friend and, business partner let out a weak sounding laugh as he replied, “She is and, you’re not the one she’s currently living with!

Oliver’s brow crinkled when he realized what he’d have to do. “You realize I haven’t had to bar-tend in almost three years don’t you?

Oliver’s question must have fallen on deaf ears because the only reply he received was a soft, “You got this…” before the line went silent.

Oliver hung up in defeat as the once silent room began to almost glow with the sounds of laughter and, excitement at what the night before them could hold. The only person who wasn’t excited was him.

With resignation Oliver began to set up the bar. He checked to make sure the booze was out and each bottle was full. He had a selection of white wines chilling and, a selection of reds placed along the back of the bar rail. The kegs were full, the bar snacks were out, and each station had a full array of bar napkins and sipping straws.

He glanced at his watch, it was now 5:15. The rush wouldn't begin until after 6. Oliver than glanced towards the stage. Lyla and her husband John were already getting set up for their first set. Lyla was in her signature dark green, strapless dress. Her short brown hair was gelled back, her makeup was minimal and as always she looked stunning. John wore his signature black vest with a white button up shirt underneath. His ebony skin glowed beneath the green and white spotlights that would change color as they went through each set.

As he watched them he marveled at the depth of love and respect that seemed to flow through every movement they made. When he first booked Lyla she was a one woman show. She packed the house but, Oliver always felt that she seemed lonely. About two years after they opened Oliver hired John to play the piano for the weekday open mic performers. They only met because Lyla stopped by to check out her local competition. The moment their eyes locked Oliver swore their hearts began to beat as one. Lyla waved when she caught him staring. Oliver smiled and waved back. She then went back to what she’d been doing and, Oliver did the same.

Around 5:45 people began to arrive in droves. Oliver had Thea and Sara serving the upstairs patrons with Roy posted as their upstairs bartender. Oliver handled the main bar and the droves of thirsty customers. Thankfully, Laurel offered to come in and handle the downstairs tables which Oliver gladly accepted. Even though he was busy Oliver caught the first few lines of Lyla’s opening song before he was lost in the crush of incoming drink orders that seemed to swirl around him like an impending Typhoon. Oliver remained lost in the violent storm until he heard her first words...

“So what's better? A vodka cranberry or a Cosmo?”

Oliver's glance shot upwards from the sea of tickets and towards the sound of heaven. His heart slammed along his chest like thunder roars through the skies when he saw who owned the voice that silenced the storm all around him. She wasn't breathtaking, she was beyond that. She was love at first sight and, Oliver was stupefied by his reaction. He couldn't believe that she'd literally stolen his heart with a few simple words. He was drawn in by how her bright, pink hair fell along the angles of her oval shaped face in short ringlets. Her lips matched her hair, her blue eyes swam with warmth and amusement as they continued to stare at the other in an oddly comfortable silence. Oliver gulped as his own blue eyes traveled along the lines of her slender yet toned figure. Her black leather pants made her pink, leather halter top pop as she slowly placed her pink nails along the edge of the bar rail.

She smiled as she cocked her head and his heart dropped down to his aching toes. Her blue eyes glittered in amusement as she breathed, “Since you've gone silent I'll take the Cosmo,”. Oliver gaped but, nothing more occurred. He seemed to be frozen while the woman before him was beginning to walk away. He saw her fingers slipping along the edge of the bar. His heart suddenly was lodged in his throat. She moved them down off the rail and towards her purse. She then fished out a ten and a five dollar bill. She placed them on the bar, her tempting fingers were within reach and, all he could do was gulp as she whispered, “That should take care of it.”

By the time Oliver could manage a simple, “Okay,” she was already seated at the end of the bar. Oliver made her drink and then flagged down Laurel so she'd deliver it.

Laurel gave him an odd look which he shrugged away before returning his attentions to the other patrons around them. The night wore on like an endless wave as they very carefully traded hidden looks. He'd glance at how she swayed along the bar stool. She in turn seemed to smile secretly everytime she rebuffed any man or woman who was brave enough to even say hello. Yes Oliver watched her throughout the endless night. He watched as she ensnared her many victims only to leave them longing for the simple caress of her passing glance.

As the night came to close and, the club was beginning to empty Oliver felt something burning along his skin. He ignored the prickling sensation until his skin nearly erupted into flames. When he finally dared to seek out the source of his oddly enjoyable pain all he could find was a pair of sparkling blue eyes...

Current day…

“And that's how's it been every weekend for the past two months. This damn woman floats into my life like a flame and by the end of Sunday night she's gone,” Oliver lamented while once again “The Lyla Michaels Experience” began to take the stage.

“So you’ve taken Clive’s shifts so you can what feel her gaze fall upon you throughout the evening?” Tommy quired in utter amusement.

Oliver’s eyes rose to the ceiling in exasperation. “So what if I do. I’m addicted to how she makes me feel and I’ve yet to even share a single word with her…” he breathed in relief.

Tommy's mouth fell open with the obvious solution until Oliver swore he could see the tops of his expanding lungs. “Don't say it…” Oliver begged. “She's turned down everyone…’

“You're kidding?” Tommy quipped as Oliver's pink leather wearing siren song began moving through the front doors.

Oliver felt the familiar fire of her glance beginning to travel along his arched spine. His heart fluttered as her voice broke through the growing crowd. “Cosmo as usual,” she stated before she slipped her payment towards his waiting hand. He nodded and began to gather his necessary supplies. Tommy watched as the nameless woman took her usual seat and chuckled when she shot down two men in five seconds.

“Does she always look like that and, does she always pay in cash?”

Oliver mumbled a gruff, “Yes…” then once again flagged down Laurel.

Laurel appeared with her knowing smirk yet remained mum as she took the chilled glass to a pair of waiting lips.

“Does she always stare at you like that?”

Oliver was about to shout back “Yes, why do you think I’m taking these damn shifts” but, was stopped when the ache along his spine began to burn through his veins. He risked a glance…

His heart thudded madly when he saw her lips curve into a very soft smile. “She's gonna rip me to shreds…” Oliver lamented once he realized he couldn’t avoid her any longer.

“Yeah,” Tommy agreed before he softly added, “or she's going to let Clive bar-tend again on the weekends.” Oliver glanced at friend begging for mercy. Tommy simply pushed him forward with a smirk and a stern, “Falling in love wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world would it?”

“I'm going to regret this….” Oliver breathed before he took his first step towards fate.

Lyla's voice moved like silk through the air between them. He began to measure his steps as John's fingers began to dance along the ivories. His pink haired temptress kept her eyes locked on his own as he slowly began to move toward her. She bit at her lower lip as the room began to grow quiet.

Oliver's stomach rolled when the chorus of his life for the past two months began to fill the room with spontaneous energy. Oliver glanced at the few couples dancing slowly as Lyla gently began to sing…

“At last, my love has come along. My lonely days are over and life is like a song…”

“Etta James is always a brave choice for any singer don't you agree?”

Oliver gulped as he placed his timid hand along the bar. She batted her bright, blue eyes while she slowly cocked her head. “Are you always this timid or are you trying to lure me into a false sense of security?” she asked once a minute of silence had passed.

Oliver mumbled, “Yes to the first and no to the second.”

“So you can speak,” she teased as Lyla began the second verse.

Oliver's eyes fell to the floor. Hers remained locked on his downfallen face while he murmured, “And you can apparently carry on more than a two sentence conversation.”

He felt her gaze washing over him. His skin burned as she slipped her index finger along the rim of her cocktail glass. The silence between them grew into a heated exchange once Oliver dared to meet her gaze. The air around them crackled as Lyla’s voice began to reach the climax of the song. Oliver's heart raced, his skin blazed with unseen flames as she searched his soul with her eyes. He felt exposed, naked and, afraid as she slipped through his heart and began to travel through his soul.

The crowd began to clap as Oliver's breathing began to increase. He nearly begged for her next words but remained frozen as her lips slipped into an delighted yet playful smile. “I can carry out a conversation if the person I’m talking to is the right one…” she offered before she slid her used bar napkin forward.

“What game are you playing?” Oliver breathed as the cold pads of her fingers gently moved across his own.

She smirked coyly, “Let's see if you can figure it out,”

Then like lightning had split the ground between them she left leaving him sputtering for the words to make her stop in her wake. Oliver quickly unfolded the paper. His fingers slipped over the condensation filled paper as his eyes scanned over her delicate print.

There was one word… and it was the only word he needed to be motivated to run…

Oliver swept through the crowds of happy people around him. He heard Tommy and Sara teasing Laurel about her latest disaster of a date. He saw Thea and Roy holding hands in the back corner as they watched the patrons before them. He felt a thousand eyes falling all around him as he came barreling through the front doors and, out onto the damp street.

Oliver scanned the crowds of future guests and, even a few who’d chosen to leave for the night. His feet skimmed over the surface of the rain covered streets until once again his skin began to prickle before the burn of anticipation moved through his suddenly very steady heart.

Oliver’s heart once again quickened as he hollered out the sole thing that had made him run… He hollered out a breathless, “Felicity!” once he caught the sight of her pink curls bouncing along the nape of her delicate neck.

Felicity froze, which caused Oliver to once again run. He ran as the weather once again turned to rain. He ran and didn't stop until his forearm was securely around her waist. Felicity turned until they were face to face. Her dazzling blue eyes made the world around him fall away as she said, “So tell me bartender boy why did I choose you after I rejected so many others?”

Oliver slid his fingers along the curve of her delicate cheekbone until he had his thumb pressed along her quivering bottom lip. He grinned almost proudly. Felicity’s tongue darted out along the pad of his thumb making his heart quicken and still all at once.

“Are you always this confident?” Oliver pressed once he felt Felicity’s arms beginning to encircle his waist.

She pressed a chaste kiss to his thumb pad as she whispered, “Does it always take you two months to make a move?”

Oliver’s forehead fell to the crown of Felicity’s head, “If I’d known you’d accept my advances I might have given my bartender his shifts back…” he breathed as his eyes slid shut.

Felicity’s fingers squeezed along his sides. Oliver heard Lyla’s voice floating through the open doors of Verdant. The rain around them started to quicken, the once pleasant drizzle was becoming an all out downpour as Felicity’s lips began to move along his skin. “If you’re not the bartender who are you then?” she asked for once in genuine wonder.

Oliver bit back a chuckle as they began to sway beneath the falling rain. “I’m the guy who met a girl who’s heartbeat matched my own…”

Felicity moved her nose along his, “Nice line,” she smirked.

“Well it only took me two months to say,” Oliver chuckled swiftly.

“True,” Felicity mused before adding, “but, that doesn’t tell me who you are?” Her assertions came as she moved her hands up the sides of his now drenched black shirt.

Oliver placed a timid kiss to her cheek then breathed, “I’m the owner of the club and my name is…”

“Oliver Queen,” Felicity supplied as they each lifted their eyes towards the stormy skies.

“You knew this entire time didn’t you?” Oliver asked almost breathlessly.

She nodded her forehead along his own as she breathed, “I’ve been coming to the club for years. I’d seen you but up until about two months ago you’d never seen me…”

Oliver’s stomach once again flipped, “Well you’ve clearly made up for lost time,” he moaned as their bodies began to sway to the beat of the falling rain.

“I thought the confidence would spark your interest,” she laughed as her lips slid along his jaw.

“You’re not going to make this easy are you?” Oliver breathed as something inside his stomach began to flutter with the unknown feeling of contentment.

Felicity wrinkled her nose as she leaned forward. Oliver closed the distance between them slowly as she answered with a soft sounding, “You’re the one that made it complicated…”

Oliver’s lips began to cover hers while he murmured, “How did I do that?”

She kissed him softly and, Oliver’s heart nearly plummeted to the ground. He felt her laughter through his skin as she whispered along his upper lip, “You made it complicated when you took two months to say a damn word…”

Oliver was about to refute her claim but, before he could form another word the heaven’s above them opened leaving them drenched and, smiling while Felicity continued to kiss him as they simply danced in the rain.

Tagging:

@michealajulius @blondeeoneexox @relativelyobsessedfangirl @thebookjumper @emmaamelia95 @hope-for-olicity @coal000 @missyriver @supersillyanddorky06 @mel-loves-all @love2luvyyou @memcjo @smoakingarrow19 @independent-fics @green-arrows-of-karamel @blondiegrl00 @it-was-a-red-heeler @diggo26 @charlinert @oliverfel4 @swordandarrow @scu11y22 @vaelisamaza @ireland1733 @redpensandgreenarrows @emmilynestill @rivaroma23 @miriam1779 @jaspertown @marytagus @onceuponarrow @lalawo1 @pleasantfanandstudent @alemap74 @kathrynelizabeth89 @sweetzcupcake @jedichick04 @nalla-madness @quiveringbunny @mrsbubblelee @olicitylovemaking @almondblossomme @befitandchase @pimsiepim @andjustforthismoment @anonymiss118 @thelockpickingvictorian @yet-i-remain-quiet @lexi9515 @marniforolicity @myhauntedblacksoul @myuntetheredsoul @felicity-said-just-in-case @i-m-a-fan-world @danski15 @emilyp05 @missafairy @cainc3 @captainolicitysbedroom @yespleasehawkeyee @tdgal1 @wherethereissmoak

#olicity #olicity fic #felicity and oliver #oliver and felicity #moodboard #mel-#inspired #jazz club au #soulmates #love at first sight #fluff #happy ending #eye contact

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jbuffyangel · 5 years ago

Text

Second Chances: Arrow 8x04 Review (Present Tense)

Holy frack there is a lot to unpack.

Ha! That rhymes. Let’s dig in….

***Skipping the Quick and Dirty because this review is very late, so I figure y’all know the basic plot from other sources by now.

Oliver and William

Let’s start with the simpler of the two relationships between father and child. Oliver is still reeling from Mia’s, “Dad?” when William runs into his arms because he is the softest bear to ever live.

Source: norahasotherstuff

He’s missed his dad so much and it’s pure, overwhelming joy that propels him forward without a minute of hesitation. I love how free William is with his emotions. He’s a bursting ball of light and love. Reminds me of someone.

Oliver’s understanding of who this is sinks in when he feels his son’s arms around him. SOB.

Source: olicitygifs

William is the first of anybody to understand they are in the past. Or present. Or something. The lack of crappy makeup and horrifically bad wigs in the first tip off, but the fact Oliver isn’t six feet underground is the primary clue for this Hardy boy.

Source: feilcityqueen

Oliver and William are given some time to catch up back at the apartment. Oliver’s immediate instinct is to call Felicity and tell her what is going on.

Look my friends! The writers remembered there are things called PHONES on Earth 1.

Isn’t honest and communicative Oliver so refreshing? It’d be so nice if his wife could enjoy it on screen.

William shuts down getting in touch with Felicity because he doesn’t know the time travel rules.

Are we Back to the Future or Avengers Endgame? William doesn’t know, so they shouldn’t contact Felicity yet.

Honestly, this entire conversation is just to address the perfunctory, “How do we handle MIA Emily Bett Rickards?” question.

For the record, I think Oliver not calling Felicity even once onscreen is bullshit.

But here’s the thing – Emily is not part of Arrow Season 8 until the finale. End of discussion. We’re going to get lots of Felicity references and I think the writers have done a marvelous job of giving us content so far despite an unavailable actress. Could they write one-way phone conversations or throw texts up like Jane the Virgin? Sure, but this is Arrow and simple/logical resolutions aren’t their wheelhouse.

Regardless, they certainly aren’t going to deal with the EBR issue every week in every episode. The fans watching the show have to accept at a certain point that Emily Bett Rickards left the show and this is the reason why Felicity is not doing X, Y and Z. We do not need it spelled out for us every week.

Source: olicitygifs

Olive is desperate for some good news in the future. This is such a fucking Season 7 mood.

William obliges and tells him that he’s a billionaire corporate tech tycoon. So between his son and Felicity it no longer matters that Oliver signed over his children’s inheritance to a woman he banged one night in Russia. (I added that last part in).

Source: olicitygifs

Oliver is so proud he cries. I sob whenever my child accomplishes pretty much anything, so I feel this is a very accurate representation of parenthood.

It also opens the door for William to come out to his father, which he never had the chance to do.

My favorite part was when Oliver confessed to William that he and Felicity knew he was gay… because parents always know whether they can admit it or not.

Source: tylerposey

Oliver cries again (right there with you buddy) and it’s a lovely scene. The basic takeaway is just love your kids.

Source: olicitygifs

Bless William for being excited about what I am excited about – they have a second chance to get to know each other. It’s easier for William and Oliver because they already built the foundation. There’s a lot to catch up on, but the bond between father and son is established. William has spent the last 20 years wishing he could talk to his dad and he’s not wasting this opportunity. No matter how bizarre it is.

William is the one to tell Present Team Arrow about how awful the future is and again, we’re already changing the future if this, in fact, Back to the Future rules. Rene knows his daughter dies and he becomes a corrupt politician. Oliver knows that Star City is still going to hell in a hand-basket despite all his sacrifices.

Barry gets a coffee and the key to the city in the second season. Oliver has been hero-ing for eight years and things still turn out crappy in the future. Sometimes it really sucks to be an Arrow fan. And yet I stay because I am a masochist who enjoys pain and excruciatingly difficult hero’s journeys. Something is seriously wrong with me.

Oliver is deep in brooding mode, sharpening arrows, after Mia yells at him for “playing dad” and leaves with L*urel. William wants to know why he didn’t stop her and the truth is Oliver thinks she’s right. He chose to leave. He has not earned the right to be her father. Not like he has with William.

But Oliver is forgetting he went through this with William. He blamed Oliver for his mother’s death.

Yes, William is a child and Mia is an adult. Yes, Oliver had to break his promise. He physically walked away to save their lives. But he remained devoted in his love and all the rest all remains true. The only way to earn being someone’s parent is to be their parent.

William’s grief over losing his mother was overwhelming. He was angry with Oliver, resented his choices and the way he was parenting him. Oliver and William had a very rocky start, but those rocks are the foundation of their relationship today. It’s the reason why Oliver and William know they can start again because they have done it before.

All of William’s pain and suffering has made him into exactly the kind of brother Mia needs now. He understands her anger at Oliver. He also knows that despite her anger and whether she can admit it or not, Mia desperately needs Oliver.

William’s experiences also made him into the kind of son who can guide his father’s hand. William is saying, “Hey. You’ve been here before. Remember? You found the way with me and you can find the way with Mia.”

Felicity would be proud.

This also gives William the opportunity to hash out some remaining issues with his father because things are not all roses with them either. Oliver is still hurt William left to live with his grandparents, because it happened a few months ago. William is the weathered soul in this war and has gained an interesting perspective on the experience.

Oliver: I thought you hated my guts.

William: I hated you for abandoning me.

Oliver: I tried.

William: True, but I wanted you to try harder. Push a little more. I think that’s all any child wants from their parents.

Oliver and Felicity can argue William moving in with his grandparents was the best thing for him at the time, but I refuse to believe anyone is better for him than his parents. William has realized deep down he never wanted his dad and Felicity to let him go. Kids test their parents and this was a particular test William wished his father fought harder.

And I have to agree. I thought it was insane that Oliver and Felicity let William go live with his grandparents. I can’t remember if S7 Jen thought that, but S8 Jen sure does.

The reality of their living situation hadn’t really changed all that much from when Oliver first became William’s primary care giver. He was the Green Arrow the entire time. That’s why they hired Raisa. A couple bad guys break into the apartment and they ship the kid off? William is ticked at Oliver for going to prison, so he decides to LEAVE? How does that make sense? And why are we letting the 13 year old call the shots? I honestly couldn’t believe they agreed.

And we all know Oliver and Felicity’s reasoning is faulty because the writing doesn��t make any sense. The worst thing about these flash forwards is William not knowing who Mia is in order to keep the reveal a shock. They really expect us to believe Felicity never comes back for William? Gimme a break. I’m all for surprises, but not at the sake of the story.

The writers are trying to clean up the mess and resolve some of the drama, but it is Oliver and Felicity who unfortunately end up holding the bag. It doesn’t make either of their characters look great, but I can ultimately forgive it as well because it feeds a much larger truth about parents and their children.

Parents – you’re going to screw up.

Kids – you have to decide how much those screw ups will screw you up.

This is why Thea’s words to Oliver last week are so important. He was going to make mistakes whether he stayed with his family or not, but those mistakes do not diminish his love for his children. It all forms who his children will become. And hey – nobody is as messy as Robert and Moira Queen and the Queen siblings turned out okay.

Oliver and Felicity made a mistake by letting William leave. They aren’t perfect parents. Nobody is. The point is to learn, keep trying and fight harder. Ultimately, it’s up to William and Mia to decide whether or not to forgive their parents for being human beings. Every child must come to terms with the mistakes their parents make, weigh it against their intentions and love, and then decide whether or not to forgive them. This is part of becoming an adult.

Oliver: I’m sorry.

William: It’s ok. Dad, I’m glad that you’re in my life. Then and now. And Mia will be too.

William chooses to forgive his father. It’s a beautiful and honest moment between father and son. This is exactly the kind of bonding and healing I wanted Oliver to have with his children – a second chance.

Oliver and Mia

Let’s keep in mind the last time Oliver saw Mia she was in her crib, so seeing a fully grown young woman before him requires some adjustment,

Source: lucyyh

but Papa Bear rebounds nicely. Stephen Amell mixes pride, confusion, joy and love in this perfectly delivered line.

Source: olivergifs

In typical Oliver fashion his first question is if the kids are okay. He steps toward Mia to hug her, but she is in complete shock and totally overwhelmed.

Source: olicitygifs

The barrier between her dead father and her very much alive father is breaking down with the reality of their situation, but Mia cannot accept it yet. Her pain is almost immediate and she steps away from Oliver. A line in the sand is drawn. He can’t come closer. It hurts too much and she’s not ready. Reminds me of someone.

It hurts Oliver just as much as when Felicity did the same thing.

Mia should have been wearing The Red Coat of Pain.

Source: olicitygifs

Look, if my 34-year-old daughter time traveled from the future to the present it’d be a puzzler for sure, but cool as hell and I’d smush her perfect face in a microsecond. Way to represent Oliver.

Rene and Dinah are extremely confused why Oliver has a daughter and he’s all, “Oh yeah. Cool story.” He’s explaining to Thing 1 and Thing 2, but Oliver is really talking to Mia. He doesn’t take his eyes off her and he shares the story of her birth. SOB.

Source: olicitygifs

I love Diggle’s they-told-me-because-I’m-not-just-anyone look here. Oliver apologizes to Dinah and Rene for finding out about Mia like this and they immediately understand why he lied and have zero problems with it. It’s your basic personality lobotomy because this is the final season (kumbaya) and there’s no time for the newbies to be their usual toddler selves.

Rene wants to know when the kiddos can fill them in on all the 2040 gossip and hey that’s a good point. (Holy hell I’m agreeing with Rene. It’s the end times my friends). Dinah and Rene don’t find out about Mia until twenty years later, so the future has already begun to change. Oliver wants the kids to share all their Back to the Future goodies once they’re comfortable.

Spoiler alert: They’re not comfortable.

Connor tells Mia and William he was about to kill his brother (there’s your confirmation if you were in any way unclear about Connor’s intentions). Mia has zero problems with Connor killing JJ, but is angry he escaped. Yup, this tracks with Mia’s morality since she’s basically Season 1 Oliver. William reminds her that it doesn’t really make a difference now because JJ is five and they can’t Baby Hitler him.

I saw that look Mia Smoak Queen.

Source: amunetblack

She decides as team leader they should keep their mouths shut because nobody wants to tell Diggle his biological son goes all evil and kills Rene’s daughter. I mean… yeah… tricky conversation starter. Do you do it over coffee? Vodka. I feel booze could really help the situation a lot.

This means that FTA is going to lie to OTA and William correctly asserts this plan is insane because this is Original Team Arrow. They aren’t dummies. Well sure, now they aren’t but oh kids. Do I have some stories for you.

Oliver takes the kids back to his apartment and Mia gets the first real sense of what it was like for Felicity to live with Oliver.

Source: olicitygifs

I know Felicity had pictures of Oliver in the cabin, but this is their life before Mia. A life she was not part of yet. My mother once took me to the house she grew up in and the owners allowed us to look around. It was so wonderfully odd to put a place to all the stories I heard growing up, but nothing was like I imagined it.

The shock is wearing off and this is the first moment Mia’s anger bubbles to the surface. This was supposed to be her home, where she grew up with her father, mother and brother. None of that happened because Oliver “disappeared” according to William.

It would seem like a simple answer - wouldn’t it? Felicity took the children to Oliver’s grave. One can naturally conclude this means he is dead, but William says he’s not sure what happened. Y’all, if you are still stressing about Oliver remaining dead after this show goes off air then turn your attention to the Grand Canyon sized back door the Arrow writers just wrote in. They can’t even say he is dead.

Oliver has been pondering his mortality for 12 years, and particularly now, so he absorbs this information extremely well. But the hits keep on coming as William fills him in on the rest – how he didn’t grow up with Mia and never saw Felicity again until 20 years later.

Mia chimes in with a bitter, “Yeah it was just me and Mom at the cabin.” Oliver’s pain when he realizes his “disappearance” is the trigger for his precious family splintering apart is just gut wrenching.

Source: feilcityqueen

Yes, he saved their lives, but it was not the life he hoped for any of them.

Oliver wants to catch up on 20 years of history, but Mia’s not looking to hug and cry and learn and grow. The chill when she leaves the room to go to bed let’s Oliver know exactly where he stands with his daughter. She’s freezing him out.

Oliver is worried Mia will never give him the chance to get to know her, but William reassures his father. Mia is stubborn and hard to read. I’d like to add distrustful, moody and impulsive.

As Oliver’s mini me it’s perfectly acceptable to hold him accountable, which leads to some warm and good-natured ribbing between father and son.

Source: olicitygifs

Mia reassures Present Team Arrow the Deathstroke gang isn’t a problem in the future after they blow up the hospital. Deathstroke gang? Pfft. Never heard of them. I’d also like to add liar, liar pants on fire to the personality traits Mia shares with her father.

And since they’re on a roll, Mia and William also reassure they are still friends with Zoe and she’s farting sunshine and rainbows.

Source: renesramirez

Ugh. Brutal.

Mia and Connor are convinced JJ is the leader of the Deathstroke gang. William tries to reason with them. He suddenly has a gang and is organized enough to start blowing up buildings within a few hours of arriving from a different time period? When you talk it out it doesn’t make sense. (She says to Last Week Jen who totally though JJ was the leader of the Deathstroke gang in present time too).

They go to the original Deathstroke hideout and discover it’s really Grant Wilson. It’s a nice tie into the Legends of Tomorrow’s “Star City 2046” which is the first time we met the wonderful David-Joseph Jones.

Present Team Arrow shows up to save their asses and Oliver gets to rescue another Smoak female from a bomb.

Source: felicitysmoak

Ah… memories.

When all the lies come tumbling out it’s not pretty.

Rene picks Zoe up and plans to work his way through a pint of mint chip with her, which is an extremely valid life choice given the news he’s just received. But could you get the kid some ice cream she actually likes? I agree disliking mint chip is MADNESS, but she’s going to die in twenty years so chocolate it is.

Dinah meets up with Rene and tries to convince him the future can be changed.

Rene: How am I supposed to wake up every morning knowing how many days we have left together?

Dinah: By trying to change what happens. Trying every single day.

Arrow is known for their less than subtle cuts and what immediately follows Dinah’s statement is an argument between Oliver and Mia.

Source: Paige

She is unable to sit on the sidelines anymore while the team researches Grant and his Deathstroke gang. Oliver wants to help Mia with her grief, but she can’t even admit her grief let alone desperately needing her father.

What’s so sad about this scene is Oliver is right. He’s been there. He understands exactly what Mia is feeling. All of Oliver’s loss and suffering have made him into the man and father his daughter needs. But Mia won’t let him in and a large part of that is because she’s just like him. It’s like a mirror of himself eight years ago is being reflected back at him.

Oliver and Mia are put their cards on the table. She is right. Parenthood is earned. It is not something that is magically created from biology. Anyone can have a child and call themselves a “parent”, but a real parent puts their child above their own selfish needs and wants.

And that’s what Oliver Queen did. There is no place on earth Oliver wanted to be more than in the cabin with Mia, Felicity (and William) for the last twenty years. If Oliver was a selfish man, he would’ve spent the rest of his days with them and let everyone perish in the Crisis. Oliver was going to die no matter what, so why not hold on to the only peace and happiness he’s ever known? At least they’d be together.

But Oliver could never make that choice because he is selfless. Mia is right – Oliver is a hero, but his need to be recognized as such is not the reason he left her. Oliver wanted Mia, William and Felicity to have the life they deserved – even if it meant one without him. He is willing to die for them.

His decision cost Mia her father, but it was a price Oliver was willing to pay. The only thing more unimaginable to Oliver than missing out on raising Mia is Mia not being part of this world. Oliver put his child’s life above his own because his precious, remarkable, beautiful, strong, and smart Mia is his world.

Do I think Mia is being cruel to Oliver? No. I think she’s being honest. This is how she feels.

Children have a remarkable way of blaming themselves for decisions their parents made.

Oliver is fighting the good fight like it’s any other day. There must have been something deficient in Mia that made moving on from his daughter so easy.

Source: arrowdaily

Mia may be grown, but she’s still a child in so many ways and particularly when it comes to father. All she can see is the man who chose to leave her. All Mia can feel is what she lost.

We cannot cheapen the depth of her grief by expecting Mia to be okay with her dad dying. Yes, he’s saving the world (and she is in the world), but Oliver didn’t need to save the city or the universe to be Mia’s hero. Nor can she accept the why because the result is the same.

Oliver missed Chrismukkah, trick or treating and birthdays. He missed snuggling on the couch and reading stories. He missed teaching Mia how to tie her shoes, ride a bike, shoot an arrow, defend herself or drive. Oliver missed comforting Mia when she was sad and sick. He missed making her laugh. He doesn’t know when Mia took her first steps, or her favorite food, or the name of her kindergarten teacher, or the grades she got in school, or the first boy who broke her heart. Oliver missed twenty years.

Mia didn’t lose a biological parent. She lost a man who loves her with every cell. Mia lost a man who would’ve shown up for her every day. She lost a man who would’ve protected, taught and loved her unconditionally. Mia Smoak Queen lost her DAD.

She’s supposed to what? Get to know Oliver? Mia’s supposed to accept all the stories Felicity told about her father were real, so the depth of her loss can be driven deeper because now she knows how wonderful he is?

Uhhh… pass. It’s easier for Mia to hate him. Of course, it’s easier.

It wouldn’t be a Queen family reunion without a little physical violence. Mia threatens to throw down with Daddy if he doesn’t get out of her way. Honestly, letting her get a couple good swings in Oliver might be highly therapeutic. I clearly didn’t study psychology, but I’m just here thinking my thoughts.

Oliver must be “some guy in her way” because the alternative, letting her father all the way in only to lose him again, it’s unbearable for Mia at this point.

Source: miasmoakdaily

Oliver decides to try harder with Mia after William harnesses his light, which means FATHER/DAUGHTER IN THE FIELD TIME!

Oliver’s protective dad mode is fully activated, but Mia has other plans. She’s about to take Grant Wilson out when Oliver ties him up with an arrow rope. Undeterred, she switches a knife for an arrow and takes aim.

Oliver calls out to Mia in his deep, growly Arrow voice, which gets her attention because it’s scary and it gets everybody’s attention. IT’S STERN DADDY TIME! YASSS!!!

Oliver physically steps in front of Grant Wilson because this is road he has gone down and as long as there is breath in his body he will not watch his daughter go down it too.

This is what is so satisfying about Oliver Queen's story.

He has learned from his mistakes and can be the hero, and father, his daughter needs now.

Mia can hate him all she wants, but Oliver will not let her kill anyone.

Mia listens because what she needs more than anything right now is her dad. It’s a real and honest moment between the two where Oliver uses everything he’s learned to help Mia make the right decision. And Mia, whether she can admit it or not, wants to learn from Oliver. He earns being her dad by being her dad.

Stick a fork in me because I AM DONE. Do you know this moment is everything? Because it is EVERYTHING. First, Mia may not let Oliver hug her, but she lets him ask if she’s okay and even answers. This, my friends, is what we call progress. Mia also has to know Oliver’s history and she doesn’t want her father to think she didn’t have the stones to kill someone.

But it’s what Oliver said in return that is so meaningful because he knows after killing someone all that is left are the dark questions that haunt you. Did I do the right thing? What kind of person does this make me?

Of all the terrible holes Oliver had to crawl out of, this was his darkest. This was the secret Oliver feared was true. This lie was so easy to believe because Oliver blamed himself for Robert’s death. What kind of person kills their own father? What kind of person keeps killing? It was so frightening for Oliver to confront that he lost Felicity to avoid it. Then it was forced out of him only after being tortured for days by Adrian Chase.

Mia would’ve killed Grant Wilson because she thought it was necessary. She believed it would serve the greater good and save lives. But it doesn’t mean Mia would’ve enjoyed killing Grant Wilson. It doesn’t mean she is undeserving of love, unforgivable or irredeemable. It doesn’t mean Mia is a monster.

The questions are already haunting Mia. Oliver can see it in her eyes, but he has the answers for her. Oliver tells his daughter who she is and Mia knows he truly sees her. And her wall starts to come down.

Source: oliverxfelicity

This show began as a story between father and child and, for better or worse; this is where it will always return. Arrow is about family, generational sin and atonement. It will always come back to Robert Queen.

Oliver takes Mia to her grandfather’s grave because this is where the violence, loss and guilt all began. It swallowed Oliver whole for so many years. It was an agonizing hole to climb out of. He wants Mia and William’s life to be better. Oliver didn’t truly understand his father until after he was dead. He wants it to be different with his children.

Source: oliverxfelicity

Mia’s journey started with the “death” of her father. Just like Robert. Her mother is “gone.” Just like Moira. Zoe died protecting Mia. She was the hero Mia was trying so hard to be. Just like Tommy. Mia made a decision and it cost someone their life. Just like Shado.

And on and on it goes. All that’s left is the crippling guilt of survival.

All Oliver can offer Mia is the truth.

It’s a truth he’s learned the long, hard and painful way.

“This guy's walking down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, "Hey you, can you help me out?" The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out." – Leo McGarry, West Wing

Oliver knows the way out of the hole Mia is in because he’s been there before. Her father reaches for his daughter’s hand and she reaches back. Oliver had to find his light these past eight years, so he could be the light for his children. Hopefully, her father can make Oliver journey a little easier and a little brighter for Mia. That’s all any parent wants to do for their children.

Source: olivergifs

Oliver makes his world famous Monte Cristo for William.

He introduces Mia to them the same way Felicity introduced William to these delectable late night snacks.

Down to the freaking mannerisms. Well done Ben Lewis.

These are the kind of stories Mia heard, but never experienced. These are the moments she and Oliver missed. The moments neither of them thought they’d ever get back.

The wall comes down. Not all the way, but enough. Mia lets her dad make her a snack. And begins their second chance.

Source: olicitygifs

Diggle and Connor

I said last week it’ll be interesting how Diggle reacts to a son he doesn’t even know he’s going to have. Well… it was a lot like this in the beginning.

Ouch. Sorry Connor. In Diggle’s defense this is a mind blower and the kids don’t know when they’ve landed. Connor doesn’t understand why his father can’t recognize him as a son, but Diggle hasn’t adopted him yet. The last time Diggle this child’s perfect face was when he saved Connor and Sandra, his mother.

The whole custody issue is problematic and John has to download a lot of information, with some sobering realizations, to comprehend what happened. Put it this way. If you discovered you have a kid that you didn’t know about it would take more than a few minutes to sink in.

It does eventually sink in, but Diggle and Connor are still a little uncomfortable around each other. Unfortunately, Mama Lyla is unavailable to serve as wing man during the uncomfortable getting-to-know-you phase. Diggle offers a very sweet, “We always wanted a brother for JJ.” HOW ABOUT A SISTER? (side eyes Barry Allen).

Connor responds to Diggle’s attempt at bonding by lying through his teeth about JJ. Sure, Dad we’re best friends. No Diggle brother curse in the future? Noooope.

Although, from Connor’s perspective, John’s remark could be taken from a slightly different slant. Diggle’s first real moment of warmth was connected to JJ, his biological son. The son he has a relationship with already. John is leaning into what he knows as he navigates this new relationship - not unlike what Oliver is doing with William and Mia.

But John must look at Connor through a JJ lens in order to act paternal towards him. Diggle didn’t do anything wrong and he certainly didn’t mean anything by it, but this doesn’t put Connor at ease. Particularly since he almost murdered the only son Diggle knows and loves. It’s easy to see why he’s keeping that information close to the chest.

Dinah hears through the door Connor calling Grant Wilson JJ, which is a pretty weak plot point, but it gets us where we need to go. Connor tries to cover his lies by telling Dinah she doesn’t know what she’s talking about, but we get a very stern Papa Diggle in response.

John: Then you tell me Connor.

This is the first glimpse we’ve seen of John being the firm disciplinarian who holds his sons accountable for each other’s actions. It was hard to imagine Diggle this way when JJ and Connor were reminiscing about their childhoods, but David Ramsey made me believe it in one line.

This is the father Connor knows. Nothing like a little parental authority to make a kid crumble like dominoes. He comes clean and we get a little history too. Grant Wilson did bring the Deathstroke gang to Star City, but JJ eventually inherits the leadership position and is the craziest of all the cray.

Rene is understandably heartbroken over Zoe, in a rage over JJ, and a little pissed off at John. I’m always uncomfortable when this show makes me sympathize with any member of NTA, but here we are, nonetheless.

Diggle just found out his son is a murdering psychopath, so it hasn’t been a great day for him either. However, it seems Diggle is the only one who watched Back to the Future and believes this horror show we affectionately call the Flash Forwards can change. It could even be the reason why the Monitor sent the children to the present. Jesus, let it be true.

The writers wouldn’t have brought it up if they weren’t going to change some things about the future. I still don’t think we’ll avert the twenty-year separation. (Can the writing gods be that kind?) But Present Team Arrow will help Future Team Arrow become better heroes. Zoe will survive and JJ, by not killing Zoe, will become a redeemable villain. I’m sure some other stuff will change too, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Connor: It was like I stole the love that should have been his.

UGH. Kiddo that is so not how parenting works. Connor is overwhelmed with guilt over JJ and completely blames himself for his actions. It’s not difficult to understand why he feels this way. This is how John raised them. When one brother did something wrong the other was held accountable. But now Connor and JJ are flipped from their childhood. The “good brother” became the “bad brother” and vice versus.

Diggle: What do you want me to say?

Oof.

This is not Diggle’s best parenting moment, but let’s juts call a spade a spade. The reason why Diggle is not acting like a father to Connor is because he doesn’t feel like his father. John and Lyla haven’t adopted Connor yet. Diggle doesn’t know him. The stranger standing before him now has lied from minute one about the only son he does know.

He has a nice heart to heart with Dinah once he’s calmed down. It took John all of 5 seconds to draw the Andy comparisons, so he’s just piling one guilt on top of another and blaming himself. Hmm… I wonder if that’s where Connor gets it from?

Dinah: Knowing what’s happened can either destroy us or save us. We’ve seen our worst. Now let’s be our best.

Damn. This is a seriously great speech. Holy crap I enjoyed a Dinah moment. I can’t remember the last time that happened.

If you think this series is ending with the future destroyed and everyone being their worst then I’ve taught you nothing. Follow the yellow brick road. We’re almost home.

Diggle can finally see through his anger and pain when he watches Connor at his best. John can finally see who Connor is when he defuses the bomb.He sees Connor’s intelligence, composure selflessness and bravery. Diggle sees his son. And Connor is everything Diggle dreamed a son could be.

Diggle: You read to go home?

Connor: You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to be a reminder of everything bad that happened to JJ and to your family.

Source: Paige

It’s everything Connor needed to hear and more. Father and son find their way to forgiveness and it’s a path to a second chance.

And because Arrow loves us this means shirtless father/son training session. Well, half shirtless. This is the content I am here to see.

Source: Paige

L*urel L*nce

L*urel goes with Mia on recon so she doesn’t slug her dad in the face. She also knows Mia is going to kill Grant Wilson.

L*urel: Clearly no one has informed you that I used to play for team villain. And I can spot a murderous intent a million miles away.

Is L*urel’s background and history being used for a plot point in a way that makes total and absolute sense? The mind reels at the possibility.

Mia’s reasoning for killing Grant Wilson is sound. They tried locking him up in the future, but he always escapes which helps earn his cult status and JJ’s admiration. Mia believes if she kills Grant Wilson then Zoe will live. The guilt she feels over Zoe’s death is too much to bear. She will do absolutely anything to fix it – even if it costs Mia her soul.

Damn… I wonder where I’ve heard this story before.

L*urel knows a thing or two about vengeance and tries to reach Mia by explaining how Felicity was once in a similar position. L*urel talked her out of killing Ricardo Diaz and SAVED THE DAY!

I’m not gonna say anything. It’s fine. Inaccuracies happen all the time in this show. I can let this go

No, I can’t let this go.

This isn’t exactly how things went down with L*urel, Felicity and Diaz. Yes, L*urel gave Felicity a similar “once you let the darkness in it never comes out” speech in early Season 7. However, she wasn’t overly vexed about Felicity doing some violence. In fact, she was damn near proud of her every time Felicity crossed a line. And L*urel was right there with her. when she did.

Nor was L*urel the reason Felicity didn’t kill Diaz. The first time she pointed a gun at Diaz was when she finally captured him. Felicity was about to pull the trigger when Laurel came in and said she made a deal with the Feds. Oliver would be released from prison if he helped the FBI with their case against Diaz. Yes, L*urel told Felicity she didn’t want to kill Diaz, but she was not the reason Felicity put that gun down. Oliver was.

The second and final time Felicity threatened to kill Diaz she convinced herself. Felicity realized he was no longer a threat. She decides not to kill Diaz because she’s stronger than him. Felicity Smoak is a BAMF and nobody gets to take this moment from her.

I’m not saying L*urel doesn’t deserve any credit. She does, but in typical arrogant BC form she beats the self-congratulatory drum too loud and makes herself the sole savior of Felicity Smoak. No, honey. Not even close.

It’s also frustrating because I wish it was Felicity telling this story to her daughter and not LL. Just one of the many “It sucks that Emily wasn’t in the episode” moments.

Source: dcladies

At least L*urel recognizes Felicity and Mia are not “women who allow themselves to be talked out of anything.” But this statement negates the “Because I talked her out of it” nonsense she was spewing 15 seconds earlier. Sigh. So close yet so far.

Can we just have one episode where this character makes total and absolute sense? Just one episode we hit on all L*urel cylinders. An episode she feels relevant, doesn’t act like a judgmental, hypocritical, ungrateful asshole, and her history isn’t blatantly ignored for the sake of plot contrivance, and doesn’t contradict herself every five seconds? It would just be nice.

Stray Thoughts

Nothing makes me sadder than the director choosing a more toned-down delivery of Ben Lewis’, “Excuse me what year is it?” than the one in the promo because the line in the promo was hysterical.

Dinah wonders why The Monitor didn’t bring L*urel back to Star City too - once again highlighting how annoyed The Monitor is she’s still alive and how inconsequential she is to any of his plans. Snort.

To be fair, (because I am for neutral reporting here and Something To Live For) Rene wonders why The Monitor didn’t bring Zoe and JJ back. He probably would have if she wasn’t dead and JJ wasn’t evil.

Connor’s, “Hey are you okay?” to Mia was so soft and nearly identical in tone to whenever Oliver says “Hey” to Felicity, which this means he wants all the babies with her. That’s the maths.

Did they blow up the doctor?

Oliver bragging William is a billionaire to Rene was the cutest to ever cute.

“You’d be proud.” William’s emotional double meaning requires beaucoup de tissues. Yeah, I’m tossing some French you’re way. Gotta keep things fresh.

“Ugh. Curtis. I did not miss you. Not even a little bit.” From my notes watching live.

I feel like this Councilman Rene thing kind of came out of nowhere in the present time, but I’m not actually invested in it so whatever.

“I cannot believe that is your son. I can however definitely believe that is your daughter.” Okay, this was funny and only made funnier by Oliver’s annoyance. Curtis is there for a hot minute and already bugging him. Dude so much same.

Yes, canaries are plural Dinah. Nobody is happy about it.

The Canary set up for the spin off was LAME.

Connor: There’s a Canary network in the future.

Dinah & L*urel: Let’s eat French fries dipped in milkshakes (trademark LL bonding) and create a Canary network.

Soooo… killing Vinny isn’t a thing anymore? When did that not become a thing? Dinah and L*urel have barely spoke this season and now they are besties? I see shoehorning canaries into plot because of contractual obligations will continue in the spin off. Yippee.

“At least we didn’t die.” Oliver Jonas Queen, God gave you a daughter just like you because He is a just and fair God.

I cannot call it Original Team Arrow because they are missing an original member so it’s Present Team Arrow until Felicity’s return.

“I’m not exactly a big fan of your father’s. He’s kind of a dick.” Should’ve let her fry, Oliver.

“John, we’re good. You too, Connor. I can’t be mad at either of you for something I will never let happen.” WHY ARE ALL THE CHARACTERS MAKING SENSE AND SAYING THINGS I LOVE? I’M SCARED HOLD ME.

I am Oliver. My twenty-something friends are William. LOL Source: felicitysmoak

How has Mia not watched The Shawshank Redemption?

"Mom really liked playing fast and loose with the fourth amendment huh?" WILLIAM’S. BEST. LINE. EVER.

They brought in Curtis to usurp William's skills. Yup, he really is Felicity 2.0.

Has Mia been wearing a Green Arrow suit the whole season and I never noticed or was she just in really great leather this week? I can’t tell on my TV screen.

OMG this moment gave me LIFE. I will be abusing that gif of William. Source: arrowdaily

If Connor learned what an intervalometer bomb is from John then did John learn it from Connor? Wrap your noodle around that time travel mind bender.

Mia’s hair was so extra this week. Source: miasmoakdaily

All I wanted this entire episode was for Mia, William and Oliver to bake cookies. So I will take payment in the form of Monte Cristos. I’m getting my way a lot this season, so I would also like to ask the Arrow writers for a million dollars. Thanks a bunch.

“Or we make our own hope.” Deathstrokes are off the board for the time being. The future is getting a second chance too. You can’t hear me but I’m singing the times they are a-changin’

A very special thanks to Muriel for editing all the gifs. You are a live saver and I am so grateful for your help!

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 8x04 gifs credited.

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