#althea dawnwind

[escritorian]

How to (not) be an Adventurer by Althea Dawnwind Chapter 2 - Role models

All right, so I figure if he’s going to hear all this the first time around, anyway, I may as well keep recording.  Or...asking him to transcribe, I guess.  We talked about it.

While I take no offence to your choice of pronouns, I feel I should remind you I have no gender.

Gotcha.  Sorry.

No need to apologize.

Thanks.  Still sorry.  Wait, so is all this side commentary getting transcribed, too?

Yes.

Lovely.  Perfect.  All right, whatever.  Let’s go.

So there are a bunch of new people at the house.  Most of them are super cool, but one of them’s a total creeper.

Predictably, Julia’s hot into the creeper. (Ugh, her taste) But whatever.  Her romantic graveyard.  Let her dig it.  Besides, I’m sure Galen would never let this guy actually hurt Julia. (If he could actually hurt Julia).  It does make me wonder about why he lets this skeezeball travel with him, though.  I mean, I guess he’s not always the most perceptive, but-

Whatever.  I’m getting off topic.

Can journals be said to have an incorrect topic, properly?

Shush.  Anyway, they were all just here, suddenly, talking about the pact and my plague and my future. I wanted to scream, but I was just so tired and scared. I think I’d have accepted anything that gave me hope at that point.  

Okay. No. Wait. Not anything. They were saying in some alternate past (?), they thought I was about to make a pact with some god of entropy? And honestly, that just sounds bad all around. Like sure, okay, I was pretty sure mine wasn’t one of those cases of spell plague you live through, you know? But some things are just worse than death.

Honestly, I was- am really offended that they thought so little of me. Okay not “they,” really. I barely even know most of them, but Galen…I really though at least he’d have some respect for my integrity. I thought maybe he could see me as more than just the little sister who needs protecting and can’t be trusted to make her own decisions I only even made this pact because everyone seemed so sure it was my best shot. And I- I mean, I wanted to live. Guilty, okay? Who doesn’t?

I felt the same, Althea

Yeah. So… yeah.

It is not wrong to wish or fight for life.

Thanks, Sha- uh, do you have like, a nickname I can use or anything?

Shadhavar is the only name I have ever known.

Wow, that’s…kind of sad. For the record, you can call me Thea. It’s what everyone in the family calls me.

I thank you, Thea.

Ha. Ummm. I was about to say I was smiling, you know, to transcribe it? The idea? Feeling? But, what is it, really? Can you even smile here?

There is no physical form or structure here to demarcate itself into what you call a smile.  The underlying ideas and feelings that cause the smile, however, can be recorded.

Oh. Cool. I mean, no really. Seriously. Cool.  Anyway, what was I saying?

Is this question rhetorical?

Um, yes? I mean it was, but you can- you know.

Those who found me presented you the possibility of a pact.

Yeah, that’s pretty much it, and I said yes.

Do you regret having done so?

Pfff, no. I’m not going to pretend I understand the full implications of having formed a soul bond with an ancient, sentient sword-bridge-focus thing born from both the feywild and the shadowfell? But it’s for serious better than the alternative. I can say that with total confidence right now.

Anyway, most of Galen’s new friends seemed like they really cared for me despite having just met me. It was weird, but also kind of nice? Oh! And Galen’s girlfriend. (!)  Apparently she left after everyone else but flew here the whole way to catch up!

Bad.

Ass.

And they all helped him defeat a death priest (or something) who was after me. I mean, okay. Julia helped. That…doesn’t count for nothing, I guess. I know mom and Nicon have trained her a lot and she’s freelanced a bit without telling mom. But now I have this whole group that seems like they’re sticking around for a bit? And maybe giving me some lessons?

This. Is going. To rule.

I also intend to provide you with instruction regardless of anyone else’s actions.

Really?!

Yes.

That’s…Ioun’s Wisdom, I don’t even know what to say! This is…am I going to cry? Fuck. No. I’m not going to start crying in here. Quick. Help me out.

Focus your mind on a task. You’ve mentioned these friends of your brother, but only just. Describe them.

Y-yeah. *sniff* Okay, yeah.

Breathe deeply and slowly.

Nono, I’m okay. It’s okay. Thanks. I’ve got this. Okay, strong feelings first. Let’s start with that creeper.

So, Creeper Creepzoidington is basically like a broody shadow who shoots everyone dirty looks, and I don’t say he’s a shadow because he’s drow.  Like, that’d be rude and also really inaccurate.  I say it cause this guy loves shadows.  Like, he loooves them - practically lives in them. They’re his home and they keep him safe and warm. Nicon says he’s already stolen from them, and I think the only time I’ve heard him talk was to swear. So yeah, whatever his deal is, I am not training with him.

Then there’s this other drow, Phaedra. I mean, I only point out they’re drow because they’re supposed to be really rare.  Surface elves are, too, but not as much? And I think I’ve only ever seen one of them. And now? Bam. 3 drow. More than I thought I’d ever met in my life, and everyone’s reaction has pretty much been, “Oh, hm! What a perfectly normal occurrence!”  It's just a little bit surprising.

Anyway, Phaedra, she’s about as different from Slimeus Slimeballius as you can get. She’s really elegant and nice. She came by later that night to see how I was doing. I didn’t feel much like talking, so…um…I didn’t, but she was really calm and polite about it. I could tell she knew I wasn’t really fine, but she didn’t press it. She just…did her best to be reassuring then left me alone. I kind of didn’t want her to go, but I appreciate that she did.

And how she moves! I mean, okay, so that probably sounds weird, but you should see her! She’s like floating silk or flowing water. She doesn’t even seem human, sometimes. Well, I mean, she’s not human, but you know what I mean.  She’s just ridiculously graceful, like she’s dancing in slow motion all the time, and my brain wants to learn the secret to it so much it can’t look away. So yeah, her I would totally train with.

Then there’s this younger drow, Tsabura.  (Tsubara?  Someone keeps messing up her name, and it’s really throwing me off.)  I thought she might’ve been be their kid or something, but even without speaking the language, I picked up that was not the case real quick.  She’s super cute but really quiet, and – I mean, I don’t know if the same standards culturally apply (nor am I sure whether or not it’s rude to consider that) - she has such nice skin.  She seriously just glows. Her skin is literally, physically lustrous.  But she’s just so angry.  Like, all the time.  Also?  Really sad.  I hope we can be friends.  I guess that’s a bit random, but it’d be great to have someone to relate to on a different level while on the road (more on that later), and maybe having a friend will help her not be so sad and angry.

It's weird, though. Like, no one’s saying anything about her, but she doesn’t seem like she’s been taking lessons from anyone, and she was pretty much dressed in rags? Mom tried to give her some of my old clothes, but that didn’t go so well. Maybe that’s why she’s in rags. Or maybe it’s a religious thing? Either way, I should probably stop calling them rags. When I tried talking to her, she barely even looked at me.  Honestly, I’m not sure I didn’t just imagine the brief glances she did give me, either.  I just...I want to know why she’s deliberately making herself so distant.  It’s like a mystery my brain needs to solve.

Moving on, there’s this really cheerful gnome named Tielka.  She’s...interesting.  She’s covered in armor and has a sword that drips frost but somehow seems super approachable?  Paradoxically, that makes me kind of nervous to approach her.  She also sounded really smart.  So I guess she’s...what?  A friendly warrior scholar?  I don’t know.  I mean, the image I’d always had of paladins is super stiff and serious, all thees and thous, but this?  It’s a weird vibe.  I mean, she looks like she’s 20, but she’s got this really motherly aura making me unsure if I want to befriend her or make sure she doesn’t catch me at mischief, so she’s got that, “inspiring the best behavior in others” thing down, I guess.

She’s also got a huge dog named Axle with the best leg.  I mean, omigosh, okay.  So his natural leg would’ve been the best leg, of course, but out of potential replacements?  This thing is, literally, divine.  Like, it’s full of clockwork, but it makes almost 0 noise, and it moves with him.  It doesn’t just sit there.  I really want to know how it works.  I mean, I’m guessing the answer will be something like 50% divinity, 40% magic and 10% mechanics, but still.

And then there’s Max.  I’m getting to her last, but she’s easily the biggest personality of the group.  (As befits a bard.)  She’s pretty much the polar opposite of Broody Broodfacerson.  She’s super friendly. She’s always smiling the brightest smile.  She has a siren’s voice and sings all the time.  She has a whole troop of animals who follow her around, all of whom I’m pretty sure she actually talks to.  (I think they’re all named Annie for some reason?)  And she’s so pretty.  Seriously, everything she does is extra charming.  There’s just something about how she moves, how she talks.  Just like, everything she does is so captivating.  There must be some lesson on mannerisms in bard college that teaches you how to keep people’s eyes on you cause there are like hooks on her gestures that grab the brain and don’t let go.  Basically, what I’m saying is she definitely made the right career choice.  Honestly, I wish she were a little quieter, but, well, no one can have everything, you know?

sighs

“You know.”  I have to stop that.

This is your fifth time using that phrase in this entry.

Fuuuck, really?!

Yes. Would you like me to alert you when you use it?

Nooo. I mean- auuugh, Vecna blind it! Yes. Yes, please do.

Very well.

Thanks.  Anyway, moving on...actually, I think that’s about it.

Oh!  And Galen.  But you know about Galen.  Well, I know about Galen, but will you, hypothetical/theoretical mystery future person, know about Galen?  I guess I should talk about Galen.  I mean, honestly, though, it feels like it’s enough to say he’s the best oldest brother anyone could want. Aforementioned rudeness aside, that is.  He’s just, I mean, he’s always giving me his time and teaching me the most interesting things, and he’s smart enough The Academy was too slow for him.  So he just, you know, decided to go adventuring and-

That’s six times.

What?

That you’ve used the phrase, “you know.”

Ugggghhhh.  All right, you know what?  My brain’s clearly tired.  He’s great, and I might end up going adventuring with him, which would be the best.  The end.

…

Sooo, how do I stop...

You can do so in the same manner as you did last time.

Yeah, I’m not really sure what I did last time.

You need simply to “feel” your intent to stop.

Okay, so kind of like-

[escritorian]

So sorry. tumblr ate the forward, somehow. The below is a little story featuring one Althea Dawnwind, beloved NPC in a campaign I'm running. I write little vignettes like this for the players from time to time, and I'll keep writing them as long as they keep liking them, so if you like them too, rejoice! There are probably more in all our collective futures.

How to (not) be an Adventurer, by Althea Dawnwind

Chapter 1: All right, I guess let’s start this thing

So what follows is-

*laughs*

What is it even? I mean, a journal, I guess? But, “What follows is” makes it sound like it’s for someone else. Like, a playwright or archivist who stumbles across it in some long-forgotten ruins. I mean, I know what this is, obviously, so that opening line isn’t for me, and how would anyone else get their hands on this, anyway?

Ugh, Ioun’s wisdom, it almost feels like someone should be able to reach out and grab it. It’s just…so there. Like, my thoughts weren’t like this before, were they? So loud? It’s like, I can hear myself? Like I were listening in the audience of a well-designed auditorium (not that I’ve ever been in one) while also up on stage reading this clearly but not in words. But…this is in my head. Being recorded in my head.

Somehow.

Wait, okay, let’s start at the beginning. It being recorded in some way does suggest there would be some method of retrieval so let’s…

Let me

Start this from the beginning. As Galen would say, “For posterity.”

So, I’m a warlock.

Okay, I guess that’s not exactly at the beginning. Lemme try again.

*deep breath* (???)

I started to develop sorcery but then started to develop spell plague which sucked and hurt a whole bunch until my brother Galen stopped by from his adventuring to cure me with an ancient, magical, sentient sword (or at least make it survivable if not curing me) by my making a pact with it, which I did, which sealed the plague away but also made me wreck the house while simultaneously focusing my magical powers.

Aaand, I think that covers it? The real beginning part?

I mean, I guess I could clarify I didn’t go nuts on the house, thus wrecking it. After I sealed the pact, blue fire came pouring out of my mouth and burned a hole in the roof. I don’t really remember it much. I mean, it sounds really cool, but also? Kind of terrifying? And it probably hurt a lot. It always did before. I think that’s the best part. I mean, being able to summon a magic sword? Cool as all hell. Not feeling your insides boil while choking on fire from time to time? Fucking essential.

Fuck

Hell

Shit

Huh

I guess I can swear in here as much as I want, huh? It’s weird. I’m always watching my words in person. I can see how they affect people? What they’re thinking when I talk? Not like, magically or anything. I just...get what they’re thinking, you know?

“You know.” Ha.

Why yes, Althea. Yes, I do know. I do know how they’d look at you when you don’t talk like they feel you should. When you’re too different. How now you get side-eyed with a these-aren’t-the changes-womanhood-is-supposed-to-bring-out-goodness-child-why-are you-so-different look. Well, I’ve always been different, but maybe now it’s a good thing.

And I guess? That’s important. It’s significant now. So, I want to save it. The process. The story? Sooo...this.

Whatever this is.

I’ve wanted a journal for like, forever. Just some place to put my thoughts down and maybe make it easier on my head, you know?

(I’ve got to stop that)

But I learned pretty early on spending your only allowance on paper? Apparently kind of a big deal. Gets noticed. And then keeping your innermost secret thoughts on said paper? I’m not going to say it’s the worst idea ever, but it’s at minimum a waste of good paper.

(And no, Mom. You being proud doesn’t make it better.)

But this...this is different. For one, it has no physical substance.

(Pull this out from under the mattress, Julia!)

It’s...what would it be? Metaphysical? Apparently, it’s being recorded in this brain space (spirit space?) thing where lives the previously mentioned talking sword. I don’t really know what all of that means, to be honest. He keeps a well-appointed spirit study with the finest spirit quills, spirit ink and spirit paper upon which this will be written before being moved to a place of honor within his grand spirit library? Who knows? I don’t think even Galen knows, and he’s the smartest person I know.

It means that within the liminal-

IOUN FUCK!

Pardon?

Don’t- you can hear me in here?!

Yes. Forgive me. I thought you were aware, as we’ve communicated in this manner before.

Yeah, but I didn’t...can you not listen to me in here?

Removing my ability to perceive communications from within my being is not-

But I’m not communicating. I’m just...ruminating.

There exists no distinction between those concepts in this space

But…wait, so…wait…

At your convenience

Okay. No. Shut the fuck up. All right, so let me get this straight. My thoughts, when I think loudly like this

(which I guess is all the time now now that I think about it?)

The place where they’re being recorded is in a place where you can’t not listen to them? Inside you?!

We exist inside of each other, in a sense. Therefore, there is no distinction akin to “your head and my head "or “soft thoughts and loud thoughts I can hear and cannot hear.”

Let me get this straight: This is all getting recorded inside you because that’s also inside me. Inside us.

Correct; though, perhaps you would prefer to know your thoughts aren’t spontaneously being recorded. It is more accurate to say I am transcribing them; though, even that suggests a meaning that, at its literal interpretation, is inaccurate.

So all my thoughts.

Yes?

You can hear them.

Yes.

No.

My apologies. I did not intend to rob you of the comfort of pedantry.

This is the worst.

A possible resolution: I can go without commenting on such thoughts or answering questions unless you specifically address me in the future while still continuing to preserve them with any others intended for journaling.

The literal worst!