#and i saw coldplay too! they opened with this one!

[lukemichaelcalumashton]

18, 28, & 88 ♥️

hello annie ❤️ let's see what you got

18.

28.

88.

[abbyshands]

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fix you by coldplay makes me think about ex gf!abby anderson criminally speeding down a highway. it’s raining, it’s freezing, and she shouldn’t be doing this, but she is. you were seconds away from saving what you had with her, but too late, it was over, she didn’t want you. then she went home, approached her door, and she saw you. saw the times she picked you up in her muscular arms, kissed you like you’d fade if she didn’t as she dragged you inside. she saw you on her couch when she got into her living room, sprawled across her lap as you rambled to her. tried to sleep it off in her bed, but she didn’t see you this time, she felt you, cuddled up in her arms as she kissed you to sleep. and then she cried, she bawled, because she had lost you. she had been an idiot, because how could she have let you go? then she left the house, got into her car, and fucking sped. rain falling down all around her, battling to get to you as fast as she could. like someone, someone wiser, who would never let you go, would get to you before she could. and she couldn’t allow it, she wouldn’t. you didn’t open the door at first when you heard her knock. you were numb, exhausted, sick. you couldn’t speak to a soul, not when you were like this. not when you had lost the only person who could make you feel what you did for abby. and who could even be here at this hour? but her knocking is deafening, goddamn incessant, and you can’t ignore it. you get up from bed, walk to the door, and your heart drops. it’s her. and your eyes are red. your heart is frigid, vacant. you can’t feel a thing but the cold, rainy wind on your cheeks as soon as you open the door. and abby’s there. blonde braid soaked, face red. she’s been out here for a while, obviously. but she couldn’t leave, not when you were at stake. “abby?” you’d mumble, and she wouldn’t even answer. she cups your face in her hands, pulls you close, kisses you. and when she pulls back? “baby,” she whispers, and it’s sweet, and it’s endearing, and it’s sorrowful, but it’s home. her kiss says sorry. what she calls you only yells it. and when she pulls you into her arms, embracing you like she’ll never let you go again, because she won’t? she doesn’t need words to explain it. “i promise you i will learn from my mistakes.” because she would never make the same one again.

and just to add in this lyric: ���tears stream down your face, when you lose something you cannot replace” abby anderson could never replace what was irreplaceable. you were everything to her. you were perfect. all that she wanted. all that she craved, come hell or high water, no matter what happened. and she’d be damned if she ever let you slip from her fingers again.

[withwritersblock]

Feelslikeimfallinginlove

~feelslikeimfallinginlove by Coldplay~

Author's Note: Requested! this isn't my proudest work but it has been a minute since I've written anything. It's more about the beginning part of falling in love with someone, maybe infatuation Summary: Quinn finally meets the beautiful girl in the lobby. Warnings: a bit of a cliffhanger I guess? Word Count: 3,125 Quinn Hughes x fm!reader

Quinn usually kept to himself, especially when he was in season. Being captain came with a collection of team bonding and leadership he had to do during the season. But outside of the team and his family, he usually was alone. 

He never wanted to cross the boundary of getting to know the people in his building, he usually tried to avoid any interaction at all. Until the girl in the lobby. He hasn’t spoken to her yet, but they’ve smiled towards one another a handful of times. 

Quinn couldn’t figure out if she lived in the building, worked in the building, or knew someone who lived there. And he hoped it wasn’t a boyfriend. Today was the first game of the season and he was nervous. The team had a tough playoff exit and they had even higher expectations this season.

He took a deep breath as he adjusted the collar on his brand new black undershirt. He wasn’t sure if he liked it. He usually wore the same three suit styles over and over again. This was new. He took a deep breath as he reached for his keys and his water bottle and began jogging towards the door. He pulled the door open quickly stepping out. He shut his door, quickly locking it. He lifted his gaze to see the same girl walking out of an apartment. 

Quinn paused for a moment when he saw a guy several inches taller than himself walk out behind her. Quinn’s small smile on his lips faded as he saw the pair, which quickly turned into a trio as another girl steps out of the apartment. He watched the other girl lean up towards the tall guy and kiss him on the lips. 

Quinn would be lying if he didn’t take a sigh of relief. He finished locking his door, keeping his gaze on the floor. He began reluctantly walking towards the three of them. He needed to pass them to reach the elevator. 

“No way! You’re Quinn Hughes!” the tall guy said as Quinn stared walking. Quinn lifted his gaze, looking towards the three of them. He forced a smile on his lips. 

“Yup, that’s me,” he said awkwardly, a nervous laugh leaving his lips. 

“Y/N, you should’ve told me you live next to the Captain of the Canucks?!” he continued.

“I didn’t want to tell you because of this, Corey,” she motioned towards the guy, a giggle leaving her lips. “We’re sorry. Good luck tonight!” Y/N said excitedly, the same kind smile on her lips. Quinn met her gaze, his lips curled up softly.

“Not a big deal at all,” Quinn said, awkwardly shoving his hands into his pockets. 

“See, sis, not a big deal at all, can we get a photo?” he asked. Quinn nodded, “Here,” he shoved his phone towards Y/N. She laughed. Quinn felt his heartbeat quicken, it was a beautiful sound. He didn’t want to hear anything else ever again. All he ever wanted was to hear her laughter. 

She gladly took the phone and began to take a few steps back. Quinn cleared his throat as he gladly stood beside the man, putting on a forced smile. Corey pointed towards Quinn, his jaw dropped excitedly. 

Y/N slowly pulled the phone down away from her face, a wide grin on her lips. Quinn’s forced smile became more genuine. Quinn cleared his throat as he pulled away from her brother. 

“Thanks man, good luck tonight!” he said. Quinn nodded before he looked towards Y/N. Their eyes remained connected for a moment, perhaps too long, before Quinn began to walk towards the elevator.

“Thanks, enjoy the game,” he muttered as he walked towards the staircase near the elevator. He began walking down the steps alone, trying to hide the grin forming to his lips.

“How could you not tell me you lived next to Quinn motherfucking Hughes?” he overheard Corey say. Quinn laughed as he walked down the steps while shaking his head. 

~~~

The game was close but the Canucks ended up winning and Quinn got three assisted on the night. He couldn’t stop smiling the whole drive back towards his apartment. He parked in his usual parking spot to see Y/N climbing out of her car. He pressed his lips together to try and stop the smile forming to his lips.

He slowly climbed out of his car, keeping his gaze towards the ground. “Great game!” she called out towards him, standing in front of her car. He lifted his gaze as he smiled towards her. 

“Hey!” he expressed as he walked towards her, she met him as they stood together in the center of the parking garage, “Thanks, it was a bit close for comfort,” he mumbled as he shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets. 

“I’m Y/N, I don’t think I said that earlier,” she offered, “And you guys were in control the whole time,” she said confidently crossing her arms over her chest. He chuckled nervously.

“Y/N, nice to meet you finally,” he said. He wanted to punch himself in the jaw. Why did he say that. Finally. As if he was waiting for them to meet. His eyes widened slightly and her smiled widened as she tilted her head to the side. 

“Nice to meet you too,” she said while adjusting the bag on her arm. He cleared his throat as he pointed behind him. She nodded as she began walking side by side with him. “Thank you for earlier, by the way, you made my little brother’s week,” she explained.

“No problem at all,” Quinn offered as he pulled the door open towards the lobby. Y/N smiled towards the front desk night host as the pair walked towards the elevator. “Does he live with you?” he asked, glancing behind him.

“He’s a freshman at UBC and lives at the dorms. He wanted me to take him and his girlfriend to a game. Obviously keeping the knowledge that we lived in the same building to myself,”

The elevator doors open quickly, allowing the pair to step inside. Shoulders bumping slightly as they stepped into the small space. “This is going to sound like I have a huge ego or whatever-purely just curious,” he began rambling as he pressed the button to reach the floor they shared. “If you knew who I was, why didn’t like ask for a photo or something?” he said a small laugh leaving his lips.

“I didn’t want to make it awkward,” she said while laughing.

“It wouldn’t be awkward at all,” he mumbled, turning his head towards her. She turned her head to meet his gaze, a grin on her lips as her eyes scanned his features.

“Well, now it would be be awkward,” she offered as the elevator doors opened to their apartment floor. She stepped out of the elevator first, spinning around to meet his gaze as he stepped out. 

“Why’s that?” he asked teasingly.

“You’re a completely normal person to me now,” she teased. 

He rolled his eyes playfully, “Oh really?” he asked as his gaze scanned her frame. She was beautiful. 

“Uh huh, you are simply Quinn Hughes, my neighbor, who happens to play for the Canucks,” she explained as she stopped beside her door. Quinn bit his bottom lip as he fought the grin forming to his lips. 

“Well, uh, Y/N last name I don’t know, my brothers also played tonight. I have yet to know how the game went. Would you like to come over and watch the game with me?” he asked, taking a small step towards her, his hands still in his hoodie pocket. She squinted her eyes slightly as she scanned his features. She nodded.

“Y/L/N,” she said.

His face scrunched together, a grin still evident to his lips, “A simple no would’ve sufficed,” he said while laughing.

She grinned as she rolled her eyes playfully, “It’s my last name, you ass,” she delicately pushed his arm back. “Is it okay if I take a quick shower before I come by?” she questioned.

He nodded, “Of course, I’ll see you in a bit?” he asked as he began walking backwards towards his apartment. She nodded before she spun around and began unlocking her apartment. He watched her walk inside. “Yes,” he whispered excitedly as he hopped slightly back towards his apartment door. He quickly unlocked it.

Stepping inside, he took a deep breath as he jogged towards his bathroom to quickly take another shower. He took one at the arena but he always takes a quick one when he gets home from games. He looked into the bathroom mirror as he giggled nervously. He glanced down towards his phone to see Luke was calling him. It was probably a good sign that they won.

He quickly brough the phone to his ear. “Lukey boy, did you guys win? Haven’t seen the score,” he asked as he clenched his jaw slightly as he tilted his head back.

“We won, it was close, also what the hell was that text you sent me earlier? No context nothing,” Luke said, a small chuckle leaving his throat. Quinn let out a sudden chuckle as he shook his head.

“Remember the cute girl in the lobby of my apartment?”

“Uh yes, sure, why?” Luke mumbled out. 

“She’s coming over in like twenty minutes,” he let out excitedly.

“How’d you manage that? I thought you were terrified to speak to any girl since your breakup,” he said jokingly. Quinn rolled his eyes.

“When’s the last time you spoke to any girl who weren’t dating one of your friends?” Quinn countered.

Luke laughed, “Alright, hot shot, enjoy your night. Tell me in the morning in as little details as possible please,” Luke mumbled before he hung up the phone. Quinn smirked as he quickly threw off his clothes as he jumped into the shower. 

After twenty minutes, Quinn shot up from the couch at the sound of a knock on his door. He smiled as he walked towards his apartment door. He peeked through the peep hole to see her standing outside of it with a bottle of wine in her hand. He unlocked the door and pulled it open. He felt his chest ache at the sight of her. His entire body felt hot as he examined her features in a short moment. 

“You didn’t have to bring anything,” he offered as he stepped to the side allowing her to step inside. 

“I wanted to,” she mumbled as she nervously stepped inside, “Are you allowed to drink during the season? I should’ve thought about that before I brought this over,” she rambled as she tightened her grip on the wine bottle. 

“We can drink,” he let out as he held out his hand for the bottle. She nodded as she gave it to him gladly. “I only do it every once in a while though,” he mumbled as he set the bottle on the counter. She nodded as she nervously twisted the small necklace pendant between her thumb and index finger. 

“What kind of glass would you like? A big glass or a bigger glass?” he asked. She chuckled.

“A bigger glass would be great,” she mumbled as she looked towards the tv, it showed the game about to start in a few minutes. Despite it being a recording. 

“Coming right up,” he expressed as he popped open the bottle. 

“Do you watch every game your brother’s play?” she questioned as she watched the camera pan towards the starting players on the ice. She didn’t recognize any of them. 

“I try, it’s always hard when we play on the same day, but I try,” Quinn explained as he poured the glasses. Making sure the glasses were a bit on the fuller side. “If I don’t get a chance to watch the full thing, I’ll watch the highlights or something,” he explained as he walked towards her, handing her a glass.

“Thank you,” she mumbled as she followed him towards the couch. “That’s really awesome,” she said as she sat beside him. He nodded.

“It also helps watching the other team play against my brothers because I know how they play so I get to figure out how to work against the other team by watching them with my brothers. It’s kinda fun,” he explained. Her gaze was on him the entire time, admiring the way his face light up as he spoke. He shifted his gaze, meeting her eye for a moment. “Sorry,” he mumbled dropping his gaze.

“Don’t apologize, I wanna hear more,” she said tapping his knee excitedly. He chuckled nervously as he glanced towards the screen. 

“Hear more about what?” he asked as he met her gaze. She felt her lips curl up slightly as she tilted her head to the side.

“You,” she mumbled. He nodded as he brought the glass of wine towards his lips.

~The next morning~

She left around one in the morning. Despite, being together for several hours, nothing romantic transpired. They chatted as they watched the game. Learning everything and anything they could during their evening together. 

Quinn stood in his kitchen, propping his phone up as he answered the FaceTime from Jack. “Quinny!” Jack shouted into the phone. He had already been up for a handful of hours while Quinn just woke up. The time difference was something they were still getting used to, despite both being in the league for years.

“Damn, lower your voice,” Quinn mumbled as he poured some olive oil into his pan. 

“Lukey said you had a girl over last night, you putting yourself out there again?” Jack asked excitedly. 

“I-uh I guess, I don’t know,” he mumbled as he lifted the pan up and watched the oil spread around. “All we did was talk,”

“About what?” he asked teasingly. 

“I don’t know, just anything. It was nice to just talk to a girl without feeling any pressure to hook up or whatever,”

“So you don’t want to hook up with her?” he asked, a small chuckle leaving his lips.

“I didn’t say that,” he chuckled, “I just want to get to know her,”

“God, you’re such a romantic,” Luke shouted into the phone from somewhere in their apartment. Quinn rolled his eyes as he looked towards the phone to see Jack laughing up a storm. 

“Just because I want to get to know a girl before I think about hooking up with her doesn’t make me a romantic,” Quinn let out, “It makes me a decent guy, which apparently you two are not,” 

“Oh whatever, Quinny,” Jack said while laughing. “Are you going to light candles and have rose petals on the bed for your first time together?” Jack teased. Quinn rolled his eyes as he fought off the smirk forming to his lips.

“Alright, bye Jack, bye Luke,” he let out in a sing-song way while he ended the FaceTime call while shaking his head. He cracked an egg as he let it fell into the pan before he tossed out the egg shell. He stared at the egg beginning to cook as he heard someone knocking on his door. He quickly turned his stove off as he jogged towards the door. He looked through the peep hole to see Y/N standing outside his door. 

He smiled to himself as he pulled it open, “Good morning, Y/N,” he said as he stepped to the side letting her walk inside.

“I can’t stay long, I have to get to work but-” she paused as she met his gaze, smiled towards his sleepy expression. “I never got your number last night,” she mumbled. He tilted his head back as he grinned. “And I figured if we are going to keep hanging out, I am going to need your number,” 

“Why are you going to need it?” he asked crossing his arms over his chest.

“Didn’t I just say?” she asked teasingly, trying to sound annoyed but failing. “I don’t want to keep appearing out of nowhere at your door, you know it’s weird,” she explained, fighting the grin on her lips. 

“Oh I see,” he let out as he held out his hand for her phone. She gladly handed him her phone. “You’re just going to miss me when I go on roadies so you want some way to contact me,” he said as he typed his name in her phone and his number. 

“I met your yesterday, like I could miss you already. That would be crazy,” she let out.

“Right right, so crazy that you decided to do this bright and early in the morning, instead of our planned hang out later tonight, right,” he teased as he slowly handed her phone back. She rolled her eyes playfully. 

“Oh whatever,” she said dramatically, “I’ve gotta go,” she said as she began walking towards the door.

“You don’t want to stay? Maybe kiss a little?” he teased. She rolled her eyes as she let out a sudden laugh. 

“I’m running late,” she said as she pulled open the door and began to walk out of the apartment. The door was slow to shut. He quickly jumped into the opening, propping open the door a little as he peeked his head out.

“That wasn’t a no!” he shouted towards her. She spun around and began to walk backwards. She had a huge grin on her lips as she shook her head. 

He returned the smile before he slipped back into his apartment. He shut the door behind him and laughed nervously as he walked back towards his kitchen.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket while he walked in front of the stove. He pulled it out to see an unknown number calling him. He smiled as he brought it towards his ear. “Hello,” he dragged out. 

“Did I hear you right, Quinn Hughes?” Y/N said on her end of the phone. 

“What’d I say?” he asked with a smirk toying to his lips. He hasn’t felt giddy like this in months, maybe even years. He missed the feeling. 

“Hmmm, that you wanted to kiss me,” she offered, a smile evident in her tone. 

“Did I say that? I don’t know if I said that,” he teased, “Are you sure you didn’t imagine it?”

“No, no I definitely heard you say it,” 

“Maybe you imagined me saying that because you wanted to kiss me too,” 

She let out a sudden laugh, “You just admitted you said you wanted to kiss me,”

“I don’t think I did. I guess you’re just gonna have to come over and find out,”

[one-piece-aus]

Hii I hope your day is going well ! I was looking through your masterlist and saw your music hcs from a few years ago for the straw hats and I don't think you did the followup for supernova trio? I was wondering if i could request that myself or even music hcs for all supernovas if possible? Thank you :)

Ahoy! I sorta haven't been getting around to it like many of my other hcs and requests, but I am in the mood to do music related stuff! Also I've broaden my music tastes a lot since last time so I might need to update the Strawhats' later, but for now we're here for-

Music Genres/Artists the Supernovas Listen to (Headcanons)

Law

If your first thought is that he listens to the most edgiest emo music there is, you're absolutely right!/hj

Okay, but being real here, he's gonna be picky about the edgy music, I'd say it leans more to moody rather than depressed

Songs like that would be Something in the Way and Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana, Paint it Black by Rolling Stones, Natural, Bones and (maybe) Enemy by Imagine Dragons, Heathens and Stresssd Out by Twenty One Pilots, Losing My Religion by R.E.M. , Crying Lightning by Artic Monkeys, Duvet by Bòa

Crazy by Gnarls Barkley was 1000% played a repeat nurmous times

Can be found at 1 am - 3 am listening and sometimes singing Wake Me Up Inside/hj

Oblivion by Dirty Palm on the other hand is played here and there but he's not too much a fan of bass songs unless he is at the club drunk and dancing all that stress & trauma off (love that one rave Law fanart )

Viva La Vida by Coldplay is a classic favorite for him

You know, he probably listens to Maneater by Daryl Hall because Dr. Heart Stealer gives those vibes

Enjoys the SIAMÉS album Bounce Into The Music but would also find comfort in their album Home

His go to genres would be soft rock or alternative rock but isn't opposed when it comes to certain pop songs like Don't You Worry Child (catch him at the right time and he will get emotional over that song)

Enjoys the older stuff & independent artists (I remember reading Law is German so many he'd like German music?)

Artists he listens to: Nirvana, Coldplay, Three Doors Down, Franz Ferinard, Artic Monkeys, The Score, Imagine Dragons, and Fall Out Boy

Kid

Metal Music

Was that not obvious?

Loves the classics

Metallica, Guns & Roses, Thrasher, Black Sabbath, Rob Zombie, Three Days Grace, Smashing Pumpkins

He enjoys rock

The Offspring, Foo Fighters, Skid Row, Rolling Stones, Finger Eleven, Ozzy Osborne, AC/DC

He enjoys some new bands like Yungbund, Blacklite District, and Goku Luck

I know there's pirate metal but he gives more viking metal vibes (does listen to both)

You know he's jamming out to the second Death Note opening & Kaiju No. 8's opening

Traitor by Daughtry and Unstable by Chaotica

He might like phonk

Says rap is crap (who's gonna tell him Goku Luck is hiphop)

Allergic to Country/serious

Is the kind of Metalhead that says Nu Metal is not Metal

Psst, can I let you in on a little secret? He secretly listens to Lady Gaga, don't tell anyone or he'll kill you

Killer

Listens to most of the stuff Kid does but also has his own tastes

Nickel Back, Coldplay, Valley of Wolves, Unsecret, Skillet, One OK Rock, Meatloaf, Opal in Sky, Okamoto, The Cranberries, and Man With a Mission

Killer is more familiar with sea shanties than Kid

He enjoys listening to Uta (Ado), his favorite song of hers would be Gira Gira because he does relate to the lyrics (he really wanted to go to her concert but the crew probably got caught up doing business on another island and missed it)

Secretly would go to a 90s pop rave, waving glowsticks as artists like 2 Unlimited blast through the speakers/silly

Is the kind of Metalhead that says Nu Metal is Metal (not in front of Kid though)

Also allergic to country/serious

Hawkins

Dark Academia and Goth Ambience

He enjoys the somber pianos, it's peaceful and helps him study

Organ pianos are pleasing to him as well, if played right

He might be able to play piano but the violin (which is another instrument he enjoys listening to) is tricky to find the rhythm he prefers

Does love classic violin yet finds the epic violin music videos on YouTube to be appealing

And if he’s not listening to that, meditation/ambiance music is playing

Unironically listens to background music from video games such as Minecraft or Genshin Impact

Moonlit Night from the Death Parade OST is one of his favorites

If you can't tell, he enjoys soothing instrumentals

Is a big fan of Tchaikovsky

Enjoys music from 90s Disney (Cinderella especially)

Absolutely listens to Phantom of the Opera! Look at this man! You can't tell me he doesn't!

Probably enjoys French love songs

Apoo

DJ Apoo is in the house and you know he's all about the funky music!

80s, 90s, 00s, 10s, and even 20s, he loves all the rave & bass boost songs

Eurodancer, Daft Punk, 2 Unlimited, it's all a bop

Hip-hop & Rap are his jam (his taste for that would not be mine so you may list them here)

Apoo is pretty organized with his playlists, being a DJ and all, has most of them separated by genre

He thinks listening to music from Anime, Movies, and Video Games is stupid (*hands you your baseball bat*)

Drake

His ass is boring

He listens to whatever is playing on the radio

Not much of a music guy so he doesn't have any custom playlists

He might be fond of a few songs that come on the radio

Music to Drake is mainly just background noise when driving

While he doesn't mind someone playing their music, he prefers if he can understand the lyrics

Drake will easily get flustered if he hears spicy songs being played, especially if someone else is there, if he’s alone he’s instantly changes the station

Bonney

Popstars by KDA

I think her taste leans to rebellious as in "Fuck you, I do what I want"

So her taste can go from Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time by Panic At The Disco, to Seven Nation Army by White Stripes

Artists she listens to on the regular would be The Offspring, Panic At The Disco, BTS(?), P!nk, Fallout Boy, Cozmez, Fake Type, UNSECRET, and Eminem

Maybe a few Kelly Clarkson songs like Stronger and Since You've Been Gone

She does not like others putting on music, you can expect her to make a fuss if you try putting on something

Auxcord hog

Bege

The Godfather OST/hj

But for real he does like Italian instrumentals

Has a taste for soft love ballets

A few French and Spanish songs are appealing to him

He doesn't like pop, hip hop, rock, metal, or rap, and doesn't understand why the youth enjoy it so much

Except for 80s J-pop, he can see the appeal for songs such as Airport Lady by Toshiki Kadomatsu or Telephone Number by Junko Ohashi

And soft rock, specially the love songs like Just The Way You Are by Billy Joel or Can't Help Falling in Love With You by Elves (he just loves his wife, guys)

Urouge

So basing this off one of his hobbies Oda has confirmed

He loves seductive music, whether it’s playing in the background or he looking for something to listen to

Most played songs is Careless Whispers

Jazz and spicy pop are his top genres

Prime examples are: Mirrors by Natalia Kills, Sway by Michael Bublé, Pause by Pitbull, One More Night by Maroon 5, Stalker's Tango by Autoheart Lent

I could make playlists for them if y'all want but for now, do what you will with these headcanons, make your own playlists ✨️

[tipsynight0]

Ghosts in the code

Paring - ben drowned x female reader

Synopsis - reader dies on a mission, in ben's grief he makes her in the digtal realm to cope.

Trigger warnings: death, shooting, guns, blood, grief, i think that's all but its super sad so be warned??

Word count - 2.1K

Author’s note - so I woke up at 7:45am and decided to finally write this damn story, I had made it in the draft but never completed it. I thought, huh they’ve had too much fluff and to much Jeff the killer. Soo I hope you guys like being emotionally traumatized this early in the morning <3

It was supposed to be an easy mission. Jack was off to find his next meal, and (Y/N) just had to make a target disappear—another loose end tied up. She could’ve handled it alone, but Jack insisted on tagging along. And Ben, always the overprotective one, had been unusually tense, practically forcing her to let him come. That last mission had shaken him. He hadn’t been able to let go of how close she’d come to dying.

"Jesus Christ, Ben, I’ll be fine," (Y/N) snapped, stuffing long sleeves into her bag, her irritation spilling over.

Ben hovered near her, eyes clouded with worry that he couldn’t hide, no matter how hard he tried. He wasn’t his usual laid-back self—not this time. "You almost got yourself killed last time, (Y/N). This isn't something to brush off," he muttered, his voice low and laced with concern.

She rolled her eyes, zipping up her bag. "I know. But I can handle this. I don’t need you breathing down my neck." She sighed, softening a bit as she saw the tension in his face. "I’ll be back in no time. I love you, okay?"

But Ben didn’t respond. He just stared at her for a long moment, his face hard, jaw clenched. Without a word, he turned and walked out of the room. The door shut softly behind him, but it felt like a wall slamming down between them.

(Y/N) exhaled, the weight of his silence settling on her. She hadn’t meant to fight with him before leaving, but it always seemed to end like this when it came to her missions. Shrugging it off, she grabbed her bag and headed out with Jack.

The house was old, creaky, the kind that seemed to breathe with the wind. The floorboards groaned beneath her boots as she crept down the dimly lit hallway, gripping her knife tightly. The air was thick with tension, heavy with the kind of silence that made every noise echo louder than it should. She was looking for a blue door. Inside, a scared twenty-year-old kid was hiding, a witness who’d seen too much—a fleeting glimpse of the mansion’s dark secrets.

It was routine. She’d done this a thousand times before, but something felt off. Her skin prickled with unease as she approached the door, the silence pressing down on her like a weight. Then, a scream—low, guttural—pierced the air. The door flew open with a crash, and she froze.

The kid stood there, trembling, his wild eyes locked onto hers. In his hands was a shotgun, shaking as violently as he was. Fear twisted his features, but before she could react, he pulled the trigger.

The blast was deafening. In that moment, time seemed to slow, her world narrowing to the sound of the explosion and the searing pain that followed. It hit her square in the chest, a force so strong it knocked her off her feet, her body crashing into the floor.

Her back slammed against the hardwood with a sickening thud, but it was the burning that consumed her. The heat spread through her chest like wildfire, every nerve screaming in agony. She gasped, choking on the blood that filled her lungs, her breath coming in shallow, ragged bursts. The room spun, her vision blurring as the pain became unbearable.

All she could think about was Ben. His stupid, overprotective warnings. He had been right. He had been fucking right, and she never told him. He didn’t even say “I love you” back.

Tears welled in her eyes as she coughed, blood sputtering from her lips. The taste of iron coated her mouth as her hands clawed at the floor, trying to grasp onto something—anything. But she was slipping, fast. Her vision grew darker, the ringing in her ears louder, drowning out everything else. Ben’s face flickered in her mind, that crooked smile, the way he laughed when he beat her at video games, the warmth in his touch when he wasn’t being so damn stubborn.

A final breath rattled in her chest, and everything went black.

Jack pushed through the wet forest, his steps heavy and labored, (Y/N)'s limp body cradled in his arms. His hands were slick with blood, her blood, the smell thick in the cold air. He moved as quickly as he could, but her weight, combined with the dread gnawing at his gut, slowed him down. He knew—he could feel it—that this wasn’t just another injury. This was different. Worse. The kind of wound you didn’t walk away from.

Her pulse was barely there, faint and fluttering, like it was already halfway to giving up. Her skin had turned ghostly pale, and the blood, it just wouldn’t stop. It soaked into his clothes, warm and sticky, every step leaving a trail of red behind them. The mansion wasn’t far, but it felt like miles, and with every step, Jack’s fear grew.

He burst through the mansion doors, frantic, his voice hoarse as he shouted for help.

Jeff and Ben were on the couch, immersed in a game of Mario Kart. Ben, still brooding from their earlier fight, didn’t even look up. His anger kept him rooted to his seat, eyes fixed on the screen.

But Jeff’s gaze drifted to the hallway, to the trail of blood that smeared the floorboards. The sight made him drop his controller, his face twisting in confusion and horror as he followed the crimson path to where Jack stood, soaked in it.

"Ben…" Jeff’s voice was tight, like he already knew what was coming. Ben ignored him at first, too wrapped up in his frustration to care. But when he finally turned, his blood ran cold.

(Y/N) lay cradled in Jack’s arms, her shirt torn open, exposing the gruesome mess of her chest. Buckshot wounds peppered her torso, blood oozing from every gash. Her chest barely rose, barely fell, and her face—oh god, her face. She was so pale. Too pale.

Ben stumbled forward, his legs weak beneath him, until he collapsed at her side. "No. No, no, no, no, no!" His voice cracked, raw with panic and disbelief. He reached for her hand—her hand that had once been so warm, so full of life. Now, it was cold, stiffening with every passing second. His fingers curled around hers, squeezing, as if he could force life back into her with sheer will.

"Jack, what the fuck happened?! You had one job, one fucking job! You were supposed to keep her safe!" His voice rose, laced with fury and heartbreak. But there was no answer. Jack stood frozen, guilt etched in every line of his face.

Ben’s anger melted into desperation as he cupped her face, brushing her blood-matted hair back, pressing frantic kisses to her forehead, her cheeks, her lips—anywhere he could. "Please, don’t do this," he whispered, his voice shaking. "I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I love you, just—please. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me, (Y/N)."

But her chest had stopped moving. Her pulse had gone. (Y/N) was gone.

She died wrapped in Ben’s arms that night, her body slack against him as the life drained from her. He held her tighter than he ever had, as if he could somehow hold her soul in his embrace, keep her from slipping away. But there was nothing left to hold onto. Jeff and Toby had to pull him off her, restrain him as he screamed her name, his voice raw and broken. He fought against them, desperate to stay with her, but they carried her body out. The Operator spoke of capturing her soul, of preserving her somehow, but the words were meaningless to Ben. Ben had spent countless days and sleepless nights locked away in his dimly lit room, the walls closing in around him as the weight of his grief pressed heavily on his chest. The world outside felt like a distant memory, a place where laughter echoed and sunlight broke through the darkness—a world that no longer existed for him. Instead, he found himself drowning in a sea of despair, surrounded by his computer screens, each one a window to a digital realm that was both a refuge and a prison.

He scoured the internet obsessively, combing through files, piecing together fragments of code like a mad scientist trying to resurrect the dead. Hours turned into days as he meticulously recorded long sessions of every proxy’s voice—voices that had once brought him comfort now echoed with haunting reminders of what he had lost. He captured every laugh, every snarky remark, every heartfelt confession, determined to weave them into the fabric of his creation. It had to be perfect. It had to feel real.

The others in the mansion watched him with a mix of concern and resignation. They agreed to his demands, knowing he was lost in his pain, hoping that his obsession might bring him some semblance of peace. But Ben wasn’t looking for peace; he was searching for a way to bring (Y/N) back. He wanted to trap her essence in this digital world, to create a sanctuary where she would never leave him again.

The night finally came when he felt ready. With trembling hands, he slipped the cartridge into the console, his heart racing as the screen flickered to life, illuminating the room with a soft glow. The title appeared, its letters swirling in hues of blue and green, memories end. He pressed play, and the familiar loading screen unfolded before him, sending him spiraling into the depths of his creation.

As he traversed the digital halls of the mansion, a sense of anticipation mixed with dread washed over him. Every pixel, every shadow had been crafted with care, echoing the real place they had shared so many moments. It was both exhilarating and gut-wrenching to see her face again—her features rendered flawlessly, as if she were just a breath away.

Then, he entered his bedroom, and there she was, standing in the center of the room, bathed in the soft glow of the digital light. His heart raced, a wild mixture of hope and anguish surging through him as her voice filled the air. “Ben, I have to go on my mission today. Don’t be mad, please.”

The sound of her voice pierced through the haze of his grief, and he felt a fresh wave of tears stinging his eyes. It was her—his (Y/N)—and yet, she wasn’t really there. This was a simulacrum, a mere imitation of the vibrant person he loved. He plastered on a smile, forcing himself to believe in the illusion, even as his heart ached with the reality of her absence.

“Of course, I could never be angry with you,” he said, his voice catching in his throat as he stepped closer. He reached out, gently brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear, the familiar motion bringing a warmth to his chest that he had thought lost forever. But as his fingers met her cool, pixelated skin, a rush of sorrow flooded him.

This wasn’t real. She wasn’t real. She was just a ghost, a whisper of what had once been. The weight of his actions crashed over him like a tidal wave; he had trapped her in a prison of his making, and for all his effort, he was still utterly alone.

“Ben, are you okay?” she asked, her eyes wide with concern—so genuine, so achingly familiar. But he could only nod, fighting to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. “I’ll be back soon,” she continued, that same playful smile he had loved so much lighting up her face.

And yet, the more she spoke, the more he felt the chasm of loss stretching between them. Each word was a reminder that no matter how perfect this world was, it could never replace the warmth of her laughter, the touch of her hand, the way she had always known how to pull him out of the darkness.

“Just be careful,” he whispered, his voice breaking, a crack in the facade he had built. She smiled at him, and for a fleeting moment, the ache of his heart softened. But as he gazed into her eyes, he realized the painful truth no matter how many times he played this game, no matter how much he crafted her voice and presence, it would never fill the void left by her absence.

[sunriserose1023]

Ignite Your Bones

PAIRING: Bucky x Avenger!Reader WORD COUNT: 10k SQUARE FILLED: Bleeding Through the Bandages WARNINGS: Canon-level violence, injuries, explicit mentions of blood and bleeding, medical terminology, medical situations, angst AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've been working on this one for quite some time. It's a fill for my @badthingshappenbingo card, along with a little enemies to lovers vibe. Title taken from "Fix You," by Coldplay, which definitely fits the last section of this story.

You slammed the door as you walked into the compound, narrowing your eyes at the questioning looks from the people on the couch in the common room. 

“The next time you send me on a mission with him, expect him back in pieces, Captain.”

Steve opened his mouth, closing it again when you stomped out of the room. Two seconds after your boots stopped clicking on the kitchen floor, the door slammed again as Bucky made his way into the common room. 

“Never in my life have I dealt with anyone so reckless, so … stupid, and I grew up with you, Steve!” “‘Stupid?!’”

Bucky muttered “Goddamn it” under his breath as you stomped back into the room, a bag of Doritos in one hand, orange dust-covered finger poking him in the chest. 

“You think I’m stupid?” “Running into a building of heavily armed combatants—“ “Ooh, breaking out the big words, Sarge.” “Get that finger out of my chest before I break it off.”

You dragged your dusty fingers through the stubble on his cheek, smiling wickedly at the disgust on his face as he lifted a hand to wipe off Dorito dust. 

“You’re disgusting.” “Kiss my ass, Barnes.”

You turned and walked away before he could say another word, and Bucky glared in your direction before he turned back to the couch. 

“Next time you want to send me on a mission with her, don’t.”

Bucky walked down the hallway, muttering under his breath as he rubbed a hand over his jaw. Back on the couch, Steve studied the floor and beside him, Natasha rearranged herself, toes crawling under his thigh until he sighed and shifted, picking up her ankles and setting her feet on his lap. He started massaging her heels, finally looking over, making eye contact with her, seeing the joy in her eyes. He shrugged as he spoke. 

“So maybe I did that on purpose.” “You know they hate each other.” “‘Hate’ is a strong word.” “Hiding an even stronger emotion?”

Steve smiled, popping her toes. 

“Guess we’ll just see, huh?”

“Of all the rude, idiotic, downright miserable human beings … I mean … he’s such an asshole! Right?”

You turned around, the pure white cat sitting on the floor behind you. She tilted her head, tail swishing back and forth across the tile floor. She gave a questioning meow and you nodded. 

“Yeah, Bucky Barnes. I never thought I’d say this, but he’s the bane of my existence. I can’t even breathe right around him. Can you believe that, Alpine?”

She meowed again and you nodded back. 

“Trust me, you’d hate him, too. But I’d never subject my best girl to the likes of him. He’s awful, Alp. Just awful.”

She stood up, stretching her paws, arching her back. She walked over to you, weaving her way in and out of your legs, her tail looping around your calf. You bent to scratch your nails on her head, and she bumped her head against your hand. 

“Don’t worry, Alpine. We’re better off without Bucky Barnes in our lives. I promise.”

Bucky aimed his gun and fired, turning slightly towards his right before firing again. He straightened once his targets had fallen to the ground, seeing Natasha and Clint on the roof of the building, hearing the steady idling of the quinjet. He heard a distinct sound in his earpiece, watching Natasha turn towards it and he blew out a breath, running towards the east. He shook his head as he saw his target recoil from the punch he had thrown, cursing under his breath as he raised his gun and fired again, the target crumpling to the ground. Bucky tucked his gun away as he slowed to a walk, shaking his head as he loomed over you. From your place on your back on the ground, you slowly met his eyes, squinting your eyes as the sun glared behind him. Bucky sighed, offering a hand. 

“You know … sometimes I think you like getting punched.” “Oh, shut up.”

You laid a hand in his as he helped you to your feet. You groaned, lifting a hand to your forehead as Bucky held your shoulders.  

“You okay? Seeing double?” “God forbid. If I had to deal with two of you…”

You shook your head, going still and groaning again. 

“Take it easy.”

You moved to lean against him, and Bucky wrapped an arm around you, laying his metal hand over your left ear. 

“Talk to me. What year is it?” “It’s, uh… oh god.”

You pushed him away and Bucky stepped back just in time as you threw up at his feet. He wrinkled his nose and turned his head, closing one eye as he looked up to Nat and Clint. He turned back just in time to catch you as you fainted, shaking his head and lifting you into his arms. 

“I don’t get paid enough for this shit.”

You laid on your couch with Alpine on the arm at your feet, watching as she licked her paw. 

“You know we have a room you could use specifically for bathing.”

She didn’t dignify you with a response, and you sighed as you gingerly rolled your head towards the television. Netflix was playing softly, the documentary you’d tried to watch long since lost your attention. You sighed and turned the TV off, tossing the remote to your coffee table and gently turning your head. You closed your eyes, pulling the blanket up to your chin, exhaling as the throb in your head made itself known again. You gave a quiet moan, smiling when Alpine crept over and curled up on your stomach. You took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. 

“Miss Y/N, Sergeant Barnes is requesting entry.”

You gave a quiet moan at the soft voice sounding through the speakers of your apartment. 

“Let him in, F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

He was just going to have to fend for himself, because your head was hurting too badly for you to do anything except nap. You heard the door unlock and then open, heard it softly click shut. You grunted when Alpine used your belly to launch herself to the back of the couch, tail swishing as her blue eyes studied the intruder. 

“I didn’t know you had a cat.”

His voice was soft, and you answered in turn, not opening your eyes. 

“Her name is Alpine. She’s very self-sufficient and she adores Happy. He takes care of her for me when we go on missions.” “Huh.”

You heard Bucky’s careful footsteps as he walked to the couch, giving a sigh when his shadow fell over your face and hid the light. You cracked open one eye when you heard a distinct purr, finding Alpine preening under his gentle touch, moving her head to keep in contact with his hand. 

“I think she likes me.” “She has questionable tastes.”

Bucky chuckled as he stepped back, Alpine meowing in protest. You moved your eye to follow Bucky and he nodded to you. 

“Sit up.” “No.”

He blew out a breath. 

“I’m here to help you.” “My head throbs when I move.” “I know. Bruce sent a pill with me to help that.” “I don’t want—“ “I know. It’s just going to knock you out. Your concussion isn’t that bad. Just painful. Come on.”

You moaned and groaned as Bucky helped you into a sitting position, and he managed to roll his eyes only a few times. You gripped his flesh arm as waves of nausea rolled over you, the throb in your head seeming to echo with every heartbeat. 

“Just breathe.”

You whimpered, leaning into him, allowing your head to rest on his shoulder. He leaned his head on yours, shushing you softly, the stubble on his chin tickling your forehead. 

“You okay?” “I think so.” “Let me get you some water.”

You nodded, eyes closed as he walked into the kitchen, filling a glass and walking it back. He put the glass in your hand, setting the pill in your other hand. You opened your eyes, wincing as you did. 

“What is it?” “It’ll help.” “Bucky.” “I’m not a doctor, but a doctor gave it to me. We trust them, remember?”

You snorted. 

“Them I trust. You, not so much.”

He rolled his eyes, but smiled. 

“Just take the damn pill.” “What if I’m allergic to it?” “That’s why I’m here, and I’m staying until we see how it affects you.”

You gave a shake of your head, moaning softly. 

“Nat busy?” “Yes, and Wanda was, too. Sorry, kid. You’re stuck with me.” “I’m not a kid.” “Then take the damn pill.”

You sighed, putting the pill in your mouth and quickly drinking. You wrinkled your nose at the bitter taste, finishing the water. 

“Atta girl.” “Don’t patronize me, Barnes. Let me sleep.” “That’s the plan, cupcake. Lay down.” “Do not call me ‘cupcake.’” “Just lay your ass down.”

You did, rolling onto your side and closing your eyes, doing your best to ignore the throbbing in your head. You felt the blanket cover you, but you couldn’t open your eyes again. You felt Bucky’s gentle touch to your forehead, heard his soft murmur to get F.R.I.D.A.Y. to turn off the lights, and your headache started to ease as you drifted to sleep. 

Bucky stood over you, shaking his head as your breathing evened out, your eyebrows relaxed, and the pain that had been evident on your face disappeared. Bucky watched you sleep for a moment, turning and going into the kitchen to put the soup Wanda had sent with him into your fridge. He turned and stopped, staring at the cat in the middle of the kitchen floor. Her tail swished back and forth over the tiles, blue eyes locked onto him. 

“I come in peace. Even though your mom would probably disagree.”

Alpine chirped back at him and Bucky’s eyebrows raised. 

“So you’ve heard of me.”

Alpine turned her head and Bucky chuckled. 

“I’m sure she’s bitched about me to you, but I’m not that bad, I promise.”

He knelt down and Alpine walked to him, sniffing the hand he held out before bumping it with her head. Bucky smiled, petting the cat. 

“See? You can tell I’m a good guy. Well, I mean … might not go that far. But I’m okay.”

He moved to sit on the floor, sighing as Alpine crawled into his lap. 

“Your mom just brings out the worst in me. I don’t know why. I mean … you know how she can be, right?”

Alpine chirped and Bucky nodded. 

“Exactly. You get it.”

Alpine leaned closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. Bucky moved his hand to scratch under her chin. 

“She’s really not so bad. It’s just easy to get her riled up. And now we’ve just always acted like this, so why change, you know? But she …”

Bucky glanced towards the living room, where you were softly snoring on the couch. He sighed, shaking his head. 

“She’s got to stop being so stupid in the field.”

Alpine gave a quiet hiss and Bucky looked at her with wide eyes. 

“I didn’t mean anything by it, but she doesn’t think. She just goes balls to the wall and one of these days she’s going to get killed. I swear to God, she's just like Steve. I’m like a magnet to little bleeding heart do-gooders with no sense of self-preservation.”

Bucky lifted a hand to rub over his face as he sighed. He shook his head, gently ushering the cat off his lap, smiling at her offended glare. 

“Come on. I’ve got to stay at least another hour to make sure she’s alright.”

He walked back into the living room, finding you sound asleep and breathing fine. He grabbed a book from your bookshelf and sat in a chair, smiling when Alpine jumped into his lap and curled up, purring when his metal hand began gently petting her. 

“I swear to God, if you don’t get your hand off my back, I will break it off and shove it up your—“ “Easy, cupcake. We’re supposed to be deeply in love, remember?”

You smiled as you and Bucky passed a couple in the hallway. You gave the woman a nod, laying your hand against Bucky’s shoulder. When the two of you rounded the corner and it was apparent you were alone, you dug your nails into his neck, pinching right at the pressure point. Bucky’s knees buckled and he stumbled as he cried out. 

“Son of a bitch!”

Bucky jumped away from you, blue eyes flashing as he lifted a hand to his neck. You looked at him with wide, innocent eyes, blinking once. 

“What’s wrong, dear?” “You’re an insufferable witch.” “Ooh, watch it, cupcake. We’re supposed to be in love, remember?”

Bucky stepped closer to you, the hand you expected was going for your throat gentling as voices could be heard just before people rounded the corner. Bucky stepped even closer, his nose brushing against yours as his hand came to rest on your shoulder, his words muttered under his breath. 

“I loathe you.”

You gave a breathy giggle. 

“Right back at you, toots.”

The people walked away and Bucky stepped back from you, straightening his suit jacket. 

“Can we just get the intel and get the fuck out of here?” “It would be my pleasure. Just—“ “Stay out of my way.”

You blinked as Bucky walked away from you, narrowing your eyes as you followed him, heels clicking on the marble floor. 

“Priscilla! Oh, there you are darling. You look lovely!”

You took her hands as you accepted the kisses to your cheeks, smiling at the heiress before you. 

“Amelia, it’s so good to see you.”

Amelia didn’t even try to hide her blatant perusal of the man beside you and she gave him a demure smile. 

“Amelia Weatherford.” “Of Weatherford Jewels?” “Handsome and intelligent. My favorite combination.”

Bucky smiled as he took the hand she offered, pressing his lips to the back of it. You blinked at the sudden flame of fury you felt roll down your spine, shaking your head as he straightened. 

“Nicholas Rockefeller.”

Amelia’s eyes widened, as did yours when you turned to Bucky. He winked at you, offering his arm. 

“Miss Weatherford—“ “Amelia, please.”

Bucky nodded. 

“Amelia, will you excuse us? I promised Prissy a dance.”

Amelia grinned, nodding her head and stepping back, allowing the two of you space to walk to the dance floor. Bucky turned to face you, taking one of your hands, settling his other on your hip. You dug your nails into his hand, setting your other on his shoulder. You put a smile on your face, leaning in closer. 

“Rockefeller? Are you out of your goddamned mind?” “You pull out a Rockefeller, no one questions it.” “Maybe that worked in the olden days, Grandpa, but these days that shit can be verified in a few seconds.” “Would you relax and get your fucking nails out of my skin?”

You loosened your hold on him, pulling him closer and studying the room over his shoulder. 

“So how’d you cross paths with a jewelry heiress?”

You smiled, murmuring just as softly as Bucky had. 

“Undercover op in Ibiza, years ago. I’m actually surprised she remembered me.” “Well, it was Ibiza.” “Good point.”

Bucky moved his hand to the small of your back, eyebrow raising at your sudden intake of breath. Your eyes met his and you shook your head. 

“Don’t even. You just took me off-guard.” “Mm-hmm.” “I still can’t believe you went with Rockefeller. That’s not who we agreed on.” “Sometimes you’ve just got to go with whatever strikes you in the moment, cupcake.”

You scoffed. 

“Stop calling me cupcake. And don’t ever call me ‘Prissy’ again.” “It’s a common nickname for Priscillas.” “How many Priscillas do you know? You know what? Don’t answer that.”

Bucky chuckled, pulling you closer, smiling when you gasped quietly again.

“Quit it.”

He chuckled again, cheek brushing against yours when he saw a figure over your shoulder. 

“He’s here.” “Who?” “You know who.”

You slowly nodded, pressing your temple against his. 

“You want to take this one or me?” “I’ll do it. Let’s meet up in ten minutes, cupcake. Don’t be late.” “Fifty bucks says it takes longer.” “I’ll take that bet.”

You giggled, pulling back and staring into his blue eyes. You ran a finger down his nose, tapping his lips before turning away.

“Amelia!”

She rushed to you and you took her hands. 

“Do you know where the ladies’ room is?” “Of course!”

Amelia winked at Bucky.

“I’ll bring her right back, Mister Rockefeller.”

Bucky winked back at her, and Amelia giggled as she leaned closer to you, touching your forehead with her own. The two of you began walking away, and you glanced over your shoulder to see Bucky making his way across the room. 

“Fifty bucks richer.”

You shook your head, crossing your arms in the cool night air. You glanced around, then went back inside, shivering at the sudden temperature change. You walked to the doorways and looked into the ballroom, quickly scanning the room and coming up empty. 

“Yeah, this was a great op to refuse comms. Stupid boy.”

You looked around the hall, hearing a metallic clattering from a room nearby. You shook your head, a sneer on your lips. 

“Five to ten odds he’s banging a waitress in the back alley.”

You looked from one end of the room to the other, lips twisting as you murmured to yourself. 

You shook your head, putting a smile on your face and making your way through the ballroom. In the hallway, you looked right and then left, before deciding to go left. You stepped to the side when a man in a suit rushed past you, nearly running into you, and you narrowed your eyes at him before you continued on your journey. You rounded a corner and let out a breath. 

“There you are.”

Bucky was standing with his back to you in the middle of the hallway. You shook your head, dress swishing on the ground, heels clicking on the floor as you rounded to stand in front of him. 

“‘Let’s meet up in ten minutes, cupcake. Don’t be late.’ And what happens? Cupcake shows up like always. Grumpy Old Man flakes, as usual.”

Bucky didn’t roll his eyes. He didn’t shrug and turn away from you, like just the sight of you was enough to make him sick. He didn’t make any movement at all, which made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. You glanced at his feet, going still at the drops of blood by his shoes. You moved a hand to gently touch his shoulder. 

“Buck? Hey. What’s wrong?”

He blinked, slowly moving his eyes to yours. Your eyebrows furrowed at the look on his face, paler than usual, paler than you were comfortable with. Your ears perked up at the sharp exhalation he gave, and you shook your head as your eyes combed over him. 

“What happened? What?” “I think … I think he stabbed me.” “What?”

Your eyes widened, and you grabbed the lapels of Bucky’s suit jacket, opening it and gasping when you saw the crimson spreading over the right side of his stark white shirt. 

“Oh, shit.”

You pressed a hand against his side and he gave a quiet moan. You looked over his shoulders, then behind yours and he shook his head. 

“He’s gone. I didn’t … I didn’t get—“ “It’s okay. Can you walk? We need to get out of here.”

Bucky nodded, and you stayed beside him, hand pressed against his side as the two of you took a step together. Bucky shook his head, reaching to grab hold of your arm. 

“Damn it, that hurts.” “Hang in there, Buck. Just one foot in front of the other.”

He nodded, looping an arm around your neck. He grunted with every slow step the two of you took, sweat breaking out over his forehead. You could feel your hand getting wetter as the bleeding continued, but Bucky refused to stop until the two of you were outside. You looked around, speaking as you scanned the parking lot.

“Let me get a cab.” “No, I—“ “You can’t walk all the way to the hotel.” “No, but I can’t bleed all over a cab either.”

Your mind was racing, and you turned your head to look at him. 

“Do I need to call an ambulance?” “No. Just …”

Bucky blew out a breath, blinking wide eyes before exhaling again. 

“Do you know how to hot-wire a car?”

You narrowed your eyes. 

“Do I look like a natural-born idiot? Of course I know how to hot-wire a car!”

Bucky grinned, sweat rolling down his pale face. You swallowed as you looked at his side and he nodded. You helped him take his jacket off, balling it up and pressing it against his side. He moaned, squeezing his eyes shut, nodding as you moved your hands away and moved his to hold the jacket in place. You ran through the parking lot, ignoring the shaking in your hands as you found a nondescript dark-colored SUV, easily picking the lock on the driver’s side door and quickly hot-wiring the car. You drove to where you’d left Bucky, helping him into the passenger’s seat. You pulled open the glove compartment and almost cried in relief. 

“Look! First aid kit.”

You pulled it out and opened it up, finding the biggest bandage you could. Bucky gritted his teeth as he lifted his shirt and you pressed the bandage to his skin, doing your best to ignore the immediate spread of blood under it. You shook your head, pulling his shirt down, going to the driver’s side and climbing in, speeding away from the gala and towards the nondescript motel you were staying. 

“Are you—“ “I’m okay.”

You nodded, both hands tightly gripping the wheel. You kept your eyes on the road, shaking your head. 

“I thought you had the serum to heal you.” “I do, but it’s not always … instantaneous.”

You bit your bottom lip hard, making yourself smile. 

“You don’t have to try and impress me with big words, you know.”

Bucky barked a laugh, but it trailed into a groan. You white-knuckled the steering wheel, breathing a sigh of relief when you saw the motel. 

“Thank god. We made it.”

You looked over to see Bucky with his eyes closed, big body slumped against the door. 

“No! No, Buck, stay awake. Bucky!”

He jumped when you threw an arm over, smacking his shoulder. He blinked wide eyes and you shook your head. 

“Don’t go to sleep.” “Okay.” “I mean it, Bucky. Stay with me.”

He nodded, groaning as he pressed a hand to his side. You parked the car and jumped out, running to help him out of the car, looping his arm around your neck, helping him lean onto you as the two of you hobbled into the room. He immediately collapsed onto the bed and you stood over him, ripping his shirt open and giving a shaking breath. 

“Jesus, Buck.”

You bit your tongue as you saw the blood-soaked bandage you’d placed on him. He nodded, wincing as he squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Fuck, it hurts.” “I know. Let me …”

Your words trailed off as you ran into the bathroom, gathering towels and wetting one. 

“My … suitcase.”

You poked your head out of the bathroom to see Bucky pointing and you unzipped the front pocket of his suitcase to find a bottle of rubbing alcohol. 

“Thank God.”

Bucky nodded as you hurried back into the bathroom, gathering the towels and the alcohol and heading back to him. You walked into the room to see Bucky with his eyes closed, blood-covered hand hanging over the edge of the bed. 

“No! Bucky, no.”

He jumped at your sharp tone, eyes sluggishly opening. You shook your head as you dropped your supplies onto the bed before looming over him. 

“You stay with me. Do not close your eyes.”

Bucky smirked as you turned away. 

“First you … rip my shirt off, then you … boss me around. Keep … keep it—-“ “You can’t even talk, much less pretend like you could get it up. Don’t even.”

Bucky laughed, groaning when you pulled the bandage off his side. You tossed the blood-soaked bandage off the bed, pouring alcohol over his wound before pressing the wet towel against his side. You increased the pressure and his groan grew louder, metal hand moving to grip your arm. 

“I’m sorry.” “Don’t. You’re … fine. Don’t let me hurt you.”

You nodded, trying your best to clean the wound. Blood continued to bubble out and you shook your head. 

“God, there’s so much blood.” “Might’ve n … nicked the liver.” “No, there’s got to be … oh, fuck. Fuck, Bucky. He got you twice.”

Bucky rolled as best he could when you tapped his shoulder, and you gave a quiet whine when you saw the wound to his back, inches from the first wound. You shook your head as you moved the towel and pressed both of your hands to both of his wounds. 

“Goddamn it, Y/N.” “Don’t give me shit right now. I’m trying to save your life.” “I know. I’m just …”

He wheezed out a breath, and you quickly set a thick bandage on the wound on his back. Bucky rolled back to his back, wincing as you put another bandage on his front. 

“Just breathe.”

Bucky nodded, widening his eyes. You shook your head, leaning over him. 

“Come on, bionic man. You’ve got an arm made out of the strongest metal in the world and you’re going to let a little prison shank take you out?”

Bucky wheezed out a laugh, his metal arm moving to cup your elbow, thumb rubbing over your skin as his sleepy eyes met your own. 

“I’ll be … fine.” “Please don’t leave me, Buck. Stay with me.”

He nodded, eyes drifting closed. 

“No, damn it. No! Open your eyes and keep them open. Bucky, please. Oh, look what you’ve done. You got blood on your dog tags.”

He blinked his eyes open at that, looking down to see your blood-covered fingertips grab onto his dog tags before letting them sit in your bloody palm. He shook his head, your thumbprint perfectly outlined on the smooth side of the metal. 

“You did that.” “Prove it.”

Bucky groaned, head falling back on the pillow. 

“Fuck.” “I know. Just hold on.”

Your eyes widened when you looked down at the bandage, blood seeping out from under it. You swallowed and pulled the bandage off, cleaning the blood as best you could before finagling a piece of gauze and taping it to his skin. Blood quickly soaked through the gauze and bubbled around the tape. 

“You’ve got to … stitch it up.”

You looked up and met his eyes, shaking your head. 

“What? No. No, I …I can call for—“ “For what?”

You looked at his pale face, watching his eyes slowly blink open, the icy blue dull around his widening pupils. He gave a slow shake of his head. 

“They … won’t make it.” “Buck, I can’t.” “You … have to. You … you’re my only … hope.”

You squeezed your eyes closed, shaking your head. You opened your eyes again and he gave you a small smile. He nodded and you blew out a breath. 

“Oh, god.” “You … can do this.”

You nodded, stepping back from the bed and to his suitcase, pulling out a sewing kit. You blew out a breath, shaking your head. 

“Goddamn it.”

You grabbed a needle and some thread, moving back to the bed and picking up the bottle of alcohol, pouring it over the needle. Your hands shook as you tried to thread the needle, stilling when you felt metal fingers gently brushing your elbow again. You looked at him and Bucky smiled. 

“You’ve got this.”

You shook your head, staring into his sleepy eyes. 

“I’ve never sewn anything before.” “Nothing … to it. Just … back and—back and forth.”

You nodded again, doing as he instructed, listening to his murmurs as he walked you through how to knot the thread. You blew out a breath and wiped the towel over his skin, cleaning away the blood. 

“Pinch the … skin together.”

You did as he said, doing your best to ignore his wince. He shook his head. 

“Don't … pay atten—attention to me. Just do it.” “Okay, Nike.”

He gave a breathy laugh, groaning as you took the opportunity and pushed the needle through his skin. Your eyes were wide, mouth open when you saw what you’d done to him, the stark black thread standing out against his skin. 

“Oh my god.” “Keep—keep going. In and—“ “Out. In and out.”

Bucky nodded, groaning again as you pulled and tugged, pushing the needle into his skin, pulling it out, closing the wound on his side. You tied another knot in the end of the thread, helping Bucky move the slightest bit onto his side. You couldn’t stop the whine from escaping your lips when you saw the blood-soaked bandage on his back, pulling it off and cleaning the wound as best you could. You licked your lips and cleared your mind, focusing only on the task at hand, going through the same motions as you stitched up the other, albeit smaller, wound. You gave a sigh of relief, laughing softly. 

“Okay. Okay, that’s it. They’re closed.”

You rolled Bucky back to his back, the breath catching in your throat when you saw his eyes closed. 

“No, no, no. Bucky? Buck, open your eyes.”

He didn’t do what you said this time. Your hand gently slapped his face, and you let the tears come when he gave a soft moan, trying to move away from you. You nodded, your hand resting against his cheek as you brought your knees up, resting your elbow on them as you put your forehead against your wrist and cried. 

After a moment, you sniffed and stood up, going into the bathroom and staring at yourself in the mirror. Your gown was stained with Bucky’s blood, your hands were covered in it, it was caked under your nails. You even had blood on your forehead. You closed your eyes, opening them again to see your blood-soaked reflection staring back at you. 

“Carrie. I’m Carrie at the prom.”

A laugh bubbled from your lips and you lifted a hand with the intention of covering your mouth. The laughter died as you gasped instead, staring at your hand. You took in a shaky breath, glancing over your shoulder and watching Bucky’s chest rise and fall a few times. You walked to the shower and turned it on, not even bothering to check the temperature before you walked into the shower fully clothed. 

You sat on the side of the bed, eyes focused on Bucky’s chest as it rose and fell. You’d at least combed your hair when you got out of the shower, leaving it in wet ropes around your head. You’d pulled on a pair of sweatpants before rifling through Bucky’s bag and stealing one of his Henleys.

You’d felt so cold ever since you’d gotten out of the shower. 

You looked down at the phone in your hand, taking in a breath before letting it out slowly. You tapped the screen until you found a number, lifting the phone to your ear. 

“Hello?” “Hey, it … it’s me.” “Hey, you. How’s it going?”

You looked to the bed, shaking your head as your bottom lip wobbled. 

“Not … not great.” “What’s wrong?” “Bucky got stabbed.” “Jesus. Is he okay? Where are you?” “We’re at the motel. Clint, I had to sew him up.”

You couldn’t fight back the sob, and you put your forehead in your hand as you heard Clint murmuring through the phone. 

“Y/N, it’s Steve. Is he alive?”

You nodded until you trusted your voice. 

“He’s unconscious, but he’s breathing. I had to sew up the wounds and I’ve never done that before. You need to come get us and get him to a doctor.” “I’m sure you did fine.” “There was so much blood.”

Steve didn’t say anything after your whisper, and his voice was shaky when he spoke again. 

“We’re on the way.” “We didn’t finish the mission.” “That doesn’t matter now.”

You nodded, closing your eyes as Clint came back on the line, telling you they’d be there in a few hours. You hung up the phone, moving to the other bed, lifting a shaky hand to brush through Bucky’s hair. 

“They’re coming, Buck. Steve’s coming and he’s going to help you. You’re going to be okay.”

Bucky muttered nonsense words, and you shushed him, hand coming to rest against his cheek. Bucky murmured again, leaning into your touch before settling down again. 

You sat on the other bed and watched as Steve ran in, hitting his knees beside the bed where Bucky was still sleeping. Clint pulled up a hologram of Helen Cho, who praised your stitches and instructed the boys to get Bucky to her cradle ASAP. They were loading him onto a stretcher when Wanda walked in, kneeling before you. 

“Hey, you. Let’s go home.”

You turned your head to meet her eyes, your own eyes narrowing. Even though you’d been watching and hearing everything that was happening around you, you felt far away, like you’d been watching television instead of real life. You swallowed, giving Wanda a nod when she murmured your name again. She held out a hand and you grabbed onto it, holding tighter than you realized. You blinked when you noticed Sam grabbing your suitcases. 

“The … the dress.” “What dress, honey?”

You blinked as you looked at Wanda again, like you weren’t entirely sure if she was there. 

“The dress for the gala. It’s … it’s in the bathroom.”

Wanda nodded to Sam. 

“We’ll take care of it. Come on, sweetie.”

You followed her lead, still gripping tightly to her hand as she led you to the quinjet. 

Two weeks later, Bucky walked into the kitchen, heading for the fruit bowl. 

“How are there never any bananas? I swear to god, I put them on the grocery list yesterday.”

Natasha’s eyebrows raised, but she didn’t say anything as she spread peanut butter over the piece of bread in her hand. Bucky blew out a breath, muttering to himself as he picked up an orange instead. 

“Nat, are you stealing all the bananas?” “Do I look like a banana thief?”

Bucky shrugged his metal shoulder as he peeled his orange. Natasha glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. 

“We have knives for that, you know?”

Bucky grinned at her with a section of orange in his mouth and she rolled her eyes. She finished her sandwich, leaving the room without a goodbye. She made her way down the hall, knocking softly on a door, hearing F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s announcement of who was at the door. At the click of a lock, Natasha walked into the apartment. 

“Hey, I brought you some lunch.” “Just a sec.”

Natasha walked into the kitchen, hearing you curse under your breath. She sighed, looking at the pile of banana peels at your elbow. 

“Y/N…” “Hey, Nat.”

You scrambled to hide whatever was in your hands from her and Natasha narrowed her eyes. 

“What are you doing?” “Nothing. Did you say something about lunch? I’m starving.” “It’s just a peanut butter sandwich.” “Ooh, my fave.”

You pushed your chair away from the table, turning your back to Natasha quickly so she wouldn’t see your hands. 

“What are you trying to hide from me?”

You faltered at that, pausing a moment before walking to the sink. 

“Nothing.” “Y/N—“ “Drop it. Please.”

Natasha sighed, setting the sandwich down and crossing her arms over her chest. She waited until you walked back to the table, staring you down until you sighed and sat in the chair. 

“What’s going on with you?”

You put your head in your hands in lieu of answering her. Natasha shook her head. 

“Come on. You’ve been avoiding the team ever since you got back from that mission with Bucky. Steve’s about ready to mandate therapy for you.” “Steve can’t do that.” “He’s the Captain. He can do what he wants.”

You snorted and Natasha sighed, sitting across from you. 

“Come on, kid. Talk to me.” “It’s nothing. I’m fine. Can I have my sandwich now?”

You let your hands fall by your sides. Natasha stared at you, but you stared right back, and she eventually sighed and nodded. You slid the plate closer to you and took a bite out of the sandwich. 

“So you’re the one that’s been stealing the bananas?” “I thought this was lunch, not an interrogation.” “The evidence is overwhelming.”

Natasha rolled her eyes at the way you spoke with your mouth full, then motioned to the banana peels at your elbow. You swallowed the bite you’d taken, lifting your shoulders. 

“I’m really into smoothies?”

Natasha just cocked an eyebrow and you blew out a breath. 

“I made banana bread last week.” “I know. Clint kept making perverse comments about how good it was.”

You smiled at that, looking down at the sandwich. You gently pushed the plate away, your sandwich with one bite missing staring back at you. 

“Hey.” “I’m not doing anything illegal or unmentionable with the bananas.” “You know I don’t care about that.”

Natasha reached over and laid a hand on your wrist. 

“I’m worried about you.”

Her eyes softened when you lifted tear-filled ones to her. You shook your head and she tightened her hold on you. You gave a shaky exhale and shook your head again. 

“I’m sorry about the bananas. I’ll make my own grocery order or something.” “Honey, that’s not the point.”

You tugged your hand away from her, wiping your eyes. 

“I, uh … I’ve really got to clean out my bathroom. It’s horrible. Can’t even remember the last time I mopped it.” “Talk to me.” “I’m just busy, Nat. I'm fine.” “You’re not—“ “Can you lock the door on your way out?”

Natasha sighed as you walked away, closing a door down the hall. She closed her eyes, hanging her head as she exhaled again. She picked up the sandwich you didn’t eat, biting into it herself as she left your apartment, locking the door behind her.

“No.” “Come on, Wanda. It’s for the greater good.”

Wanda raised one eyebrow as Sam tried to hide his smile. Natasha was unperturbed, taking one of Wanda’s hands. 

“Something is going on with her. She hasn’t been to movie night or game night or even dinner in two weeks. Almost three! You know how she is.”

Sam tilted his head. 

“You know that last mission took a toll on her.” “I know it did, but she usually bounces back quicker than this.”

Wanda laid her other hand on top of Natasha’s. 

“You didn’t see what we saw when we picked them up, Nat. She just needs time to process this.” “It’s been two weeks. This is past ‘processing time.’ This is mentally fucked up time now.”

Wanda looked to Sam, who stared back at her, a silent conversation passing between them. Wanda sighed, turning back to Natasha.

“I don’t like this.” “Let the record state she doesn’t like this.”

Sam rolled his eyes, but smiled. Wanda sighed again, standing up and brushing off the dress she was wearing before making her way down the hall. She stopped outside your room, putting her ear to the door, closing her eyes as they began to glow red. 

“And pull slowly … there. Perfect.”

Wanda turned her head slightly as she listened to your thoughts. 

You can’t even see it! That’s a surgeon’s precision there. “Excellent work, Agent. Do you want to try the chicken now?” 

Wanda blinked her eyes open when she heard the second voice. It sounded different, further away, and she thought the voice had to be coming through your phone or computer. 

“Ew, it’s slimy.” “You knew it would be. Remember how we talked about it?” “Right. It’s more like normal skin, and with an injury, slime is a possibility.”

Wanda heard a tinny laugh, and she closed her eyes again as your voice went silent, save for the one in your head. 

Take a breath. You need this practice. You have to do this right. Next time could be life and death.

Wanda’s brows furrowed as she laid a hand on the door. 

In and out. In and out. Don’t forget to breathe. In and out. “Very good. Go just a bit deeper … that’s it. Perfect.”

Wanda’s red eyes opened when the soft sound of your thoughts echoed in her mind. 

I need to figure out how to make this bloody. It’s slippery enough as it is, but the blood adds an extra obstacle. Remember how Bucky’s blood soaked the needle and thread? “Agent, clear your mind. Keep your focus on the task at hand. That last stitch slipped.” “Sorry.” “It’s still very good.”

Wanda turned the doorknob, silently making her way into your apartment, stopping at the entry to your kitchen. You were sitting at the table with your back to her, your laptop on the table, along with a small pile of bananas and a raw chicken breast. 

“What are you doing?”

You jumped, quickly turning in your chair. 

“Wanda? What the hell are you doing? How did you get in here?” “Agent, I think this will end our session today. Very good work.”

You turned back as the video call ended with a chime, and you blew out a breath as you hung your head. Wanda stepped further into the kitchen, eyes scanning the room. 

“What are you doing in here? Why do you have so many bananas?” “Wanda, you need to go.”

Wanda’s eyes started glowing as you tried to hide the contents on the table from her. 

Shit. God, she can’t know. Nobody can know. They won’t understand. 

“What won’t we understand?”

You whirled around, eyes full of hurt. 

“Are you in my head?”

Wanda blinked, her eyes cooling back to their normal color. You gave an almost silent laugh. 

“You were. You were listening. You promised you’d never do that.” “Everyone is worried about you. You won’t leave this apartment. Ever since your mission with Bucky, you’ve closed off.”

You couldn’t help but flinch when she mentioned Bucky and that disastrous mission. Wanda’s eyes softened as she took a step closer.

“This has something to do with that, doesn’t it?” “Can you just mind your own business?” “Not when you’re hurting this badly and won’t let any of us help. We know what you’re going through.”

You whirled to face her, eyes wide. 

“How?! How could any of you know what I’m feeling? You weren’t there. You didn’t have his blood all over your hands, all over your dress. You didn’t stand in the shower and watch his blood flow down the drain. You didn’t do everything you could to help him and it wasn’t enough.”

Wanda’s eyes filled with tears as yours did.

“You didn’t watch him almost bleed out. You didn’t have to push a needle through his skin to try to hold him together.” “Oh, honey.”

You shook your head, stepping away from her. You went to the sink and turned the water on, pumping soap into your hands and rubbing them together. Wanda lifted a hand to her lips as she watched you, tears sliding down your face and dripping into the sink. When she noticed the steam from the water, she rushed over and turned the water off, turning the cool side on and gently moving your hands under the water. 

You gripped the edges of the sink as Wanda turned the water off. She took your hands in hers, drying them off gently. 

“You don’t have to carry this by yourself.”

You lifted your head, tear-filled eyes meeting hers. She gave you a sad smile, pulling you into a hug. You put your face in her shoulder and let her hold you, not seeing her eyes start to glow red, but feeling your own eyes grow heavier and heavier until you couldn’t help but close them. Your knees slowly buckled and Wanda helped you, going with you until you were laid out and sleeping peacefully on the floor. 

Wanda sighed, going to your door and opening it, whistling softly. Sam and Natasha popped their heads around the corner as Wanda raised an eyebrow, then motioned for them to come. Natasha’s eyes narrowed as she looked around the kitchen, widening when she saw the bananas and the chicken, the needle and thread. 

“Oh my god.” “Sam, can you…?”

He nodded, gently brushing past Natasha as he walked to you, kneeling and lifting your sleeping body into his arms. You curled against his chest and he closed his eyes before carrying you down the hall and into your bedroom. 

Natasha met Wanda’s eyes and Wanda crossed her arms over her stomach. 

“She had a doctor on the computer who was talking her through stitches.” “That’s why she kept stealing the bananas.”

Wanda raised an eyebrow and Natasha walked over, picking up a pristine yellow banana. 

“If you do it correctly…”

She unpeeled the banana and Wanda’s eyebrows raised at the neat black stitches on the peel. 

“You can’t even tell it was peeled.” “She’s out. What’s going on with the prep line in here?”

Natasha showed Sam the stitches in the banana peel and he closed his eyes before crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Shit.”

Natasha and Wanda nodded. After a moment of silence, Wanda spoke. 

“Now comes the hard part. Do we tell Bucky?”

You woke up with a headache, feeling quite hungover even though you hadn’t drank a drop of alcohol. You sat up in the bed, putting your head in your hands. 

No matter how hard you’d tried, you just couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky and the last mission the two of you went on. You couldn’t get the sight of his pale face out of your head, the way the blood wouldn’t stop, soaking through the bandages you’d tried to put on him. You felt like Lady Macbeth because in your dreams, you couldn’t get his blood off of your hands, no matter how hard you scrubbed. 

You crawled out of bed and went into the bathroom, trying and failing to avoid your reflection in the mirror. There were dark circles under your eyes, and your complexion was dull. You hadn’t left your apartment in a few weeks, hadn’t even gone outside. You were too preoccupied with the bananas and the stitching. 

You sighed and pulled your unwashed hair into a bun on top of your head, leaving the bathroom and coming to a hard stop when you saw the man sitting on your couch. Bucky lifted his eyes to yours, metal hand still as Alpine sniffed all over it.

“Long time no see.”

You nodded. 

“I’ve been busy.” “You’re the one that’s been stealing all the bananas.”

You shook your head. 

“I mean, yeah at first, but I’ve done my own grocery order for a while.” “Why?”

You lifted a hand to scratch at your neck. 

“No reason.” “Babe, we’ve got to work on your tells.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, dropping your hand and looking down at the floor. 

“Tell me why you needed so many bananas, Y/N.” “I went on a banana diet.” “Stop going up on your toes. That's another tell.”

You went to your flat feet, eyes cast down. You heard Alpine’s annoyed mrow as Bucky stood up and when he took a step towards you, you took a step back. He took a step back and you lifted your eyes to his. He held up his hands, sitting back down on the couch. Alpine moved to sit in his metal palm and he smiled. He brought his eyes back to you, seeing you staring at the floor still. 

“Cupcake, look at me.”

You did as he asked, and his voice was gentle when he spoke. 

“Why did you steal all the bananas?” “Why are you so obsessed with bananas? Did they not have them back in the old days?” “Quit deflecting and answering my question with a question. Tell me the truth.” “It doesn’t matter.” “To me, it does.”

You looked away from him as tears welled up in your eyes. Bucky sighed, dragging a hand down his face. 

“If you’re not going to tell me the truth, let me tell you what I think, alright? I think you stole the bananas to practice stitching them up. Because if you do it right, you can’t even tell the banana’s been peeled.”

You looked down at the floor, Alpine sitting up and jumping down from the couch beside Bucky to walk to you. She gave a curious meow when a tear fell from your eyes and landed on her nose. 

“You’ve been practicing stitching until you’re damn near perfect at it.” “I’m not perfect at it.” “Yet another lie.”

You lifted your eyes to his, shaking your head. 

“You don’t understand.” “Enlighten me.”

You didn’t notice your hands were shaking as you spoke, the tears also falling unnoticed. 

“You were dying. You were dying and I was trying to hold you together. I was holding the stupid bandages against the holes in your side and you were dying. I can still smell it, Bucky. The whole room smelled like copper and I couldn’t make it go away.”

You moved your shaking hands to press them against your stomach, and Bucky’s heart lurched when he realized you were pressing on your body the places where he was stabbed. He stood up and you backed away again, the tears coming harder. 

“I kept begging you to stay with me and you kept trying to fucking die. I had to hold your skin and literally stitch you back together with a needle and thread. I’ve never sewn anything in my life and the first thing I ever sewed was you.”

Your back hit the wall and Bucky stopped inches from you. You shook your head, unable to do anything but sob. Bucky took hold of one of your hands, ignoring Alpine’s warning meow and hiss, pressing your palm against his chest. You tried to pull your hand from his grasp, but he had an iron hold on it. 

“Breathe.”

You did, shaking your head as you sobbed. Bucky flattened your palm against the center of his chest and spoke again. 

“Feel that?”

You shook your head, and he squeezed your wrist for a split second, urging you again. 

“Do you feel that?”

You took in a ragged breath, feeling the steady thump of his heart under your palm. You met his icy blue eyes and he raised his eyebrows in question. You nodded, and he adjusted his grip so that both his hands were holding your wrist, holding your palm to the center of his chest. 

“You saved me. My heart is still beating because of you.” “There was so much blood.” “But you stopped it.”

You shook your head. 

“I didn’t do enough.” “Not enough? You saved my life, cupcake.”

You shook your head again. 

“I should have known what to do beforehand—“ “What, because you knew I’d get stabbed?”

Your eyes met his and he shook his head. 

“It doesn’t matter anymore. You did what needed to be done and I’m still here because of it. Because of you.”

Your knees buckled as your hand fell from his chest, but Bucky gathered you in his arms before you hit the floor. You clung to him, arms holding him tightly as you cried into his chest. He held you, flesh hand gently rubbing your back, shushing you softly, but letting you cry. 

He shifted and lifted you into his arms, and you put your face in his shoulder as he carried you down the hall. You felt yourself be lowered to your bed, but you stayed clinging to Bucky until he lay down with you. 

“I got you. Shh. I’m here.”

You kept holding onto him, staying close when he rolled onto his back. You kept your head on his shoulder and an arm around his stomach, one of his arms steady around you and holding you close. You slid your hand up to the middle of his chest, closing your eyes when you felt his strong heartbeat under your palm. 

Bucky woke with a start, eyes opening to find white fur filling his vision. Alpine tilted her head as Bucky met her blue eyes, and he glanced towards the door when he heard your voice. 

“She’s not the best about sleeping in. I tried to tell her to leave you alone, but… I think she has selective hearing.” “Wonder where she gets that from.”

You rolled your eyes, pressing your towel to your wet hair. Bucky sat up in the bed after sliding Alpine off his chest, smiling at her irritated chirp. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, shifting to where he could look at you. You moved the towel off your head to hold it in your hands, speaking more to it than to Bucky. 

“Thank you for staying with me last night.” “You needed a friend. I didn’t mind.”

You slowly nodded. 

“So we’re friends now?”

Bucky softly smiled as he looked down at his hands, clenching his metal one into a fist, then releasing it. 

“Do you think we are?”

You sighed. 

“I thought you hated me.” “I never hated you.” “You’ve got a weird way of showing that.”

Bucky nodded. 

“You want to know the truth?” “It’d be nice.”

Bucky smiled as he looked over at you. 

“You’re good. And smart, but you listen to your heart more than your head. You’re so much like Steve, and I knew if I didn’t rein you in somehow, you’d sacrifice yourself into the ocean just like he did.” “And that morphed into you hating me … how?” “I never hated you.”

Bucky blew out a breath. 

“It was just easier to fire up that brother/sister relationship with you. And then you gave as good as you got and it was easier to make you think I hated you than to really—“

Your breath caught in your throat when he cut himself off. He shook his head, standing up and heading for the bedroom door. 

“Really what?” “You want coffee?” “I want you to finish what you started.”

He grabbed onto the door frame, looking back over his shoulder at you. 

“You really don’t know where that sentence was going?”

You swallowed and shook your head, and he blew out another breath. 

“C’mon, cupcake. There’s no way you can’t know.”

You did. At least, you thought you did. All those times you caught him looking at you with that soft smile, the way he tried to cover it by rolling his eyes and looking away. The gentle touches when you were hurt, the way he always seemed to be the one to volunteer to go on missions with you. 

The way your heart pounded when you realized he was hurt. 

The fear in your chest you thought would consume you when you couldn’t get the bleeding to stop. 

The begging you did for him to just stay with me, don’t leave me.

“Cupcake?”

You met his eyes with tears welled up in yours. He stepped away from the door and walked to you, shaking his head. 

“What did I say? I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

You shook your head, laying your hands on his chest. 

“You didn’t. I just … I haven’t cried this much in a long time.” “I think you’re sort of emotionally constipated and it’s all coming out now.”

You laughed as you shoved him away. He stumbled back, a blinding smile on his lips. You shook your head. 

“You’re the worst.” “You know you love it.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and looked at the floor and Bucky gave a quiet sigh. He turned away and when he was at the door again, you spoke. 

“I didn’t realize. I mean … I kind of did. But you always acted like you hated me, so I pushed it down and tried to convince myself that I …”

He kept one hand on the door frame, turning his head towards you, keeping his eyes away from you. 

“That what?” “That it wasn’t attraction I felt towards you. Then I tried to convince myself that you were like a brother to me and that hurt more. So I just locked it down and like you said, gave as good as I got.”

Bucky fully turned to face you and you swallowed again. 

“Everything was fine until you got hurt. Faced with the prospect of losing you … I lost it. I tried so hard not to let it show, but I … Bucky, I was so scared. You were so pale and there was so much blood and no matter what I did, I couldn’t stop it.” “You did stop it.” “I thought I was too late. I just prayed that you would wake up and I went and showered with my dress on. Watched the blood go down the drain.”

You sucked in a breath when you saw him in front of you. You’d been staring at the floor, lost in your own mind. Bucky reached up and brushed a strand of hair away from your face. 

“You can’t hold onto that anymore. It’s over. It’s done. No matter what happened in that hotel room, I’m here and I’m fine.” “I can’t stop seeing it. Every time I close my eyes, I see my hands covered in your blood. After I stitched you up, I went into the bathroom and I swear I looked like Carrie after the prom.”

His eyebrows furrowed and you shook your head, waving him off. 

“I can’t just let it go, Buck.” “Then give it to me.”

You looked up and met his eyes, the icy blue earnest as he stared into your eyes. 

“Let me carry it for you.”

You started to shake your head and he took hold of your hands. 

“If not me, then someone else. We’ll find you someone to talk to, who can help you through this.”

You held tightly to his hands and he leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours. You sucked in a breath, letting it out slowly as you closed your eyes. Bucky lifted his head to press his lips against your forehead, and you stepped forward, putting your face in his chest. He smiled as he wrapped his arms around you and you turned your head to where his heartbeat was directly under your ear. You kept your eyes closed as a Bucky started to gently sway. 

“Does this mean you’ll go on a date with me?” “Have you asked me to go on a date with you?” “I thought it was this unspoken thing.”

You shook your head, leaning back and staring up at him. 

“You’re old, and your mind must be going.” “I’ll show you—“

You shut him up by going on your toes and pressing your lips to his. Bucky’s shocked inhale sounded a second before his hands tugged you closer, and you threw your arms around his neck. When you broke apart, both of you silently panting for air, Bucky gave a quiet laugh. 

“Took you long enough.”

[haechurch]

forgetting me, forgetting you

It's not the way that jeno doesn't look at you the same. It's not the way of him chasing after a girl and leaving you behind in the evening downpour. It's not the way jeno said he didn't even love you that night. It's just nothing but your broken heart.

pairing: idol!jeno x fem!reader

genre: smut, fluff (kinda), angstt

wc: 4.8+k

warnings: minors dni, unprotected sex, oral (m, f receive), spitting, kind of meanie jeno, implied exhibitionist, degrading, praising, spanking, teasing, fingering, tons of pet name, hard and soft sex, etc etc, you know when i said idol and fan relationship its just so unreal as well as how their jobs work lmao ((i had a problem to make this at least a lil bit realistic) also not seem too delusional but- just pls dont @ me, i mean its a fic)

! how embarrassing that this shit got posted accidentally (i hate tmblr) my pupils were literally shaking lol. for those who might accidentally saw this (i know theres not even a soul who cares abt it..) ofc i had this to be revised also its inspired by rv song, in my dreams, (originally the title for this one but i changed it!) i might also have songs recommendation, its [coldplay-yellow > conan gray-astronomy > yoari-dice game > exo-hurt > davichi-forgetting you > red velvet-in my dreams]

Everything was pandemonium from the start. You saw jeno in person for the first time in the concert venue. Yes. He is the singer. That singer. A born-talented, handsome, lovable idol from nct. He didn't even know you were there, in the crowd of audience hyping his band up. Never in your dreams you thought you'd met him in person, but fate brings you two together. It was what you believed until then. Fate brings your jeno who has never been yours in the first place to kindly remind you that he will never be yours even at the end of the time.

You worked hard for your pay. You work as an employee (that mostly work for dreamies) under jeno's company after you earned your post graduate title while studying in korea. That point when you made it out, you never even thought that this was a real chance to finally get him.

That's just insane, to get lee jeno, in a somehow, romantic way. But you tried anyway. Ordinary person with an extraordinary person? Or can you just say idols and fans relationship? That jeno from all the people living on this earth? Mostly impossible. Those who live around you will think you're crazy for wanting someone who literally exists in a different world from you. Even though you're 'coexisting' with him and seeing him from time to time, that would not be enough; so near yet so far.

It's so hard to work under the company and let it flow at first. Without a will, you'll never get what you want. Even though this one is nearly impossible, you attempt to keep the mindset that revolves around you: it will work if you try, try, try and try.

But it's useless. Who do you think you are? You can't even be allowed to speak nor get close to him except if it's necessary. It's hard to work with him like a normal acquaintance. To them, to jeno, you're simply invisible. 

However, you did make it clear enough. No surrendering. That's the least you can keep in mind. 

But again, he didn't even spare you a glimpse.

Then there was this day when you two were put together in the same dressing room, waiting for some interviews coming up. There's actually no reason for you to not share the same room because technically, you're their regular staff. The rest of the members and other staff were nowhere to be found, it was you and him. You and jeno all alone in the same room. You nearly choked yourself when you were about to open your mouth as jeno scooted to where you sat. 

"Hi." He lightly started the conversation. You swear to god you can hear your own heartbeat. Keeping yourself calm and professional, you hum and put the sweetest smile to him. "Hello."

"I'm so sorry if i sound rude, but i believe we're around the same age? I've been seen you around and i just knew you're a regular staff in here," you intensely stared at him, eyes widened in disbelief that he just casually- 

"We can be friends if you wan-" 

"We can?!"

-asked you to be his friend.

Realizing you just replied to him in 0,023 seconds, you covered your mouth and muttered 'sorry' to him. He just laughed. Oh. That laugh.

That's when you feel like you two were 'getting closer' as he asked you to be his friend for some idiotic reason (u really have no idea why the universe would gave you this kind of, miracle, you'd say, but you're fucking grateful).

Of course you can be friends with everyone. Also a staff (fan) and an artist couldn't be an exception, right? But once again who are you kidding, lee jeno is super busy, and you should know it could probably the friendship that only lasts for four hours.

You didn't meet jeno for weeks and you missed him so bad. Sometimes you got to talk to him after he befriend you (tho it happens only if you had that rare chance) but both of you didn't get a long time to properly talk and have a good conversation. And it's been a long time, you just missed him.

Did he perhaps miss you too? Did he ever think about you even just for a split second? You shake your head from the thoughts and scoff at yourself. He probably already erased you from his memory. And that night, you drifted into a deep slumber whilst thinking about how he wouldn't remember you.

―

But you were dead wrong. That day was very hot because apparently, it's in the middle of summer, and you were called for a job in a broadcasting house which happened to be the same place for the band to attend their schedule.

You're standing in front of a vending machine, getting a drink when you hear someone call your name. You turned around and found jeno, looking at you with his smiling eyes.

"Jeno!? What are you doing here?" You can't hide your pearly whites when you see him, so please meet him again after a while.

"We're having some jobs here. How about you?" He asked. 

"Um, me too! But mine's still running, i take a little coffee break right before come back to the site. Have you finished yours?"

"Yes, actually," jeno scratched his nape awkwardly before he continued. "Uhh, do you perhaps want to meet me after you are done? Just for a sec?" He asked.

"Sure! I'll text you when i'm done?" 

Yes, you both are having each other's numbers but can't even communicate a single thing through it. He didn't text you. And you, being the one who shamelessly asked for his numbers which he gladly gave it, never once texts him because as you can see, you're being professional enough to keep your words that it's only for the matter of work.

"Cool." You both smiled to each other and stood awkwardly for a good seconds until jeno left. 

So, did he just wait for you until you're done because he said he just finished his schedule? Is that even possible for him to do that?

The answer is yes. Though with a little bit of delay. He asked you to meet him after you're done, just to have you wait for him in the nearby cafe for nearly 20 minutes.

Jeno: uhh hi its jeno

Jeno: im so sorry for keeping you waiting

You: oh hii

You: nah its okayy not a biggie

Jeno: its the manager hyung, i told him i have to go somewhere but you know its hard to cooperate with them :/

Jeno: look i promise it will just need to b arranged real fast okay

You: okaaay i know youre busy you can really take your time tho

Jeno: so sorry ;(((

You: jeno its fine :*

You: :(

Jeno: thanjk you for the understanding ;)

Jeno: ill be there in.. 5 mins?

You: ill be here waiting!

You were smiling like crazy reading his texts. All you did was blushing and heart skipping while replying to him. He was so cute. And it's the first time you guys exchange texts. And he did it first! (how its a big deal for you)

Then there he is. Entering the cafe with a little skip and making a bee line to your table then sit down in front of you. 

"Right on time." He said jokingly. You just chuckled at him.

"Sooo what's up? What is it that you wanted to talk about in your very packed schedule, busy bee?"

He exhaled harshly before replying. "Nothing. Just wanna get out and have some fresh air."

He averted his gaze to yours before continue, "with my new friend." 

You raised one of your eyebrows at the boy. "Yeah? I thought you already forgot me because i was just simply a girl that worked at your company," you talk as you fold your hands.

"Why would i? I'll remember you anyway. You once fell in front of me when you were about to open some door and that actually was funny as hell. Shouldn't laugh but i can't help it. Oops. Should have not told you this part too..."

Your face heated in a second, and yes, you did that and it was humiliating and you felt very stupid. That time you were about to enter the conference room at the company building, but jeno (also the other members were there) was opening the door at the same time, unfortunately you stumbled on your feet and ended up kneeling at his.

He take a glance at you again then continue. "And you're pretty pretty."

You immediately looked up to him. You can't explain how his sudden confession affect you so much and leave your heart throbbing like crazy. 

Fortunately you can keep your act.

You chuckled and replied, "and what's that supposed to mean."

"I'm just saying that you're beautiful." 

He surely knows how to mess with your heart.

"And i'm getting worried that your eyes might have a problem," you laughed, more to laughing at yourself.

"No. I meant it."

You looked at him again, flustered, and he smiled when he saw you taken aback. A mischievous smile to be exact.

"Are you flirting with me?" Of course you were kidding. Asking that kind of question sounds nonchalant, even have no shame. But you had nothing to lose anyway.

"Would you accept it?" 

You blinked rapidly, your heart beating so fast in your chest, your palms were sweaty. He got you questioning yourself on how you can not fall for him even more? It's getting even deeper every minute you spend your time with him. He's dangerous. 

You were stunned for a moment. You felt like your cheeks burned, they're emitting flame. Your head short circuited for a while yet all you can think about is jeno. Jeno jeno jeno and jeno. The moment you can't hold it back from spilling, you just let it burst.

"I like you." 

Oh, you don't even care anymore about your image. The moment you spit that you felt like the most stupid, dense person alive on earth.

"I know." 

He responded in a heartbeat, and you felt fire burn a hole into you.

"You what?"

"I said i know. I noticed. And i do to."

"I'm so lost." You started to believe that you're out of your mind.

"I'm saying that i like you too."

Your pupils doesn't even falter when you stare at his face. You might just scream or gasp or even cry, but you were too stunned to speak, the way you were so calm also surprised yourself. You shake your head as you doubt your hearing and gave him a bitter smile.

"You're joking."

"Yes." 

Your eyes widen from his answer. He's such a prankster. 

"Jeno!"

He laughed. His laugh is so carefree but feels shy at the same time, that is just screaming lee jeno so much.

"So what am i supposed to say? You already heard me."

"I'm just trying to seek clarity." You narrow your eyes playfully. Now you don't even know where the confidence in you came from.

"You're my clarity." 

Now that sounds straight up came from a song lyric.

This whole time you think that you're crazy for wanting lee jeno, but here you are having a little cafe date and knowing him to have the same feeling as you are.

-

"Ah!" you squeal as your head thud against the hard surface.

"Sorry," jeno apologized as he giggled, then continue to peppering kisses down your neck.

Both of you were alone in a room at the backstage, making out like crazy before he bring you to the nearest table and pin you down. You sigh blissfully, thanking heaven every time your bodies this close, that you finally have jeno for your own and not anybody else. It's not the first time that he finally touched you, but every single one of his touches feels like the first time.

Oh, of course that didn't just happen in a night. He's been so sweet and kind to you that you mistaken his deed as something more than platonic relationship.

He bought you food. He told the manager to drop you off at your apartment at night when the schedule's over. You both go to the staff's cafeteria and eat lunch together. You offer him to go cycling together when he's off, and he did. He lent you his airpods when you lost one. You brewed his morning coffee. He called you one night and said that he's missing you. You asked him if you can do the same, texting or calling him as a normal friend would do despite both of your jobs. And that one night where he sneaked out to your apartment just to say that he wanted you.

That moment you thought everything is indeed possible. 

"Jen! Wait!"

He's currently railing you stupid at the backstage.

Now both of your hands were on the wall, legs spread open for him to easily pound you from the back. 

"Shit, this pussy's so tight." He slowed down, dragging his cock precise and keen, watching how his length appeared then disappeared inside your pussy.

"You like that baby?"

Your ears are buzzing, eyes fluttering, you only mewl and all you can hear is squelching sounds from how wet your pussy is before he sped up, skins clapping resonated all over the room.

When you didn't answered, he stopped and brings your hair to a ponytail then yanked your head up so your back is now against him as he whispered, "i said, am i fucking you good, little slut?" Well he can be cruel sometimes, but both of you know his mouth isn't that dirty on daily basis. He's just having his moment.

"Fuck yes," you finally speak.

Jeno railed into you again, he prop you to stand up, right hand on your hip, clamping so hard it'll leave bruises, and left hand grasping at your jaw to make you face him, his lips ghosting between your ear and lips, heavy breathing and all.

When he brushed against your earlobe, he whispered right onto your ear, "open your fucking mouth."

You obliged, as he bent your neck back and you presented all of yourself in front of him, he spit into your mouth. "Perfect. Keep it there like a good girl you are." 

Jeno started to pick up pace again, this time hitting your spot deliciously over and over, sending you to the cloud nine.

You agape as you moan, all while your mouth full of your and his spit, nonetheless making an effort to keep jeno's words but you're already drooling all over your chin.

"J-jen.."

"Shh, no need to say a thing baby girl, keep your pretty mouth shut."

Jeno suddenly lift you up and prop your back against the table. He's hovering over you, tapping your cheek, oblige you to open your mouth again, and spit another glob into yours.

"Now keep that warm and safe, you could do that, right angel?"

He asked and you only nodded in response. "That's it. Now let me make you feel good."

He spread your dangling legs by pushing on your thighs then dragging his hard and big cock along your slit, making a quite lubrication.

You're a whiny mess, never in your life you thought you'd have sex with lee jeno in a random room on their backstage, and he's pretty wild at the moment.

Before you can process a thing, he's already on his knee, eating you out slowly. You tug at his hair and hoist your hip up, but he's keeping you in place. He's taking his time, kitten licking at your opening with a slow pace, sucking softly at the clit, but it already making you tremble and wanting more. He's keeping the act for a while before the frustrations hit you.

"Jeno, hurry the fuck up."

He stop doing his ministrations, and as he pissed off, he suddenly lift you up again, your front pushed to the nearest wall.

"What did i just say to you? Shut your fucking mouth. Don't fucking speak. Why did you speak?"

He landed a couple of hard slap against your ass, making you yelp and shriek, "i-m sorry, please," your head drooped, your body trembling, but not from fear.

It's excitement.

Another slap on your ass. "Please what? Tell me, angel, what is it?

He kneaded your flesh and put his length between your ass cheek, nuzzling it sensually, and it made you bite your lip hard, can't take his teasing no more.

"Please," you almost sob. "Please, jeno, fuck me."

You beg, and he immediately bend you fully over again, both of his hands were on your hips as he fuck you into oblivion.

"Princess wanna get fucked. What she wants, she gets." 

He kissed his teeth before he rammed into you, hitting that sweet spot precisely over and over again it felt so good. Your hands and legs almost gave up, but he grabbed your hip in place. As you moan and scream for him, he keep chanting that he want you to come for him.

"Jeno, i'm fucking close- fuck," your hair is tangled, you're a drooling mess, your eyes rolled up. He fuck you so good it leave you dumb. Jeno's hips never once falter, he keep fucking into you rapidly as you whine non stop.

"Fuck, come all over me. Come on," he encouraged you.

"Coming!" You're a moaning mess, pussy can't help but tightened around him, making him curse under his breath. He continue to pistoning as he chasing his high, prolonged your own orgasm.

"Fuck, gonna cum," his thrust remain steady until it finally stopped, buried so deep inside you as he fill you up to the brim. Jeno finally pulled out, your hands and elbow propped against the wall as you arched your back while bending over, giving him a full sight of your ass and pussy overflowing with his cum. 

"Shit.." jeno cursed as he ran a hand through his fringe.

You felt your bodies emitting fog from the fever, glistening with sweat.

Just after that, you both heard a knock and someone's shouting.

"Are you guys done there? Jeno, get your loud ass out there right now, we're running out of time." 

You wouldn't miss whose voice it was.

It's fucking na jaemin. You felt embarrassment creep down your spine when you realized he found out, although nothing like the rest of the members doesn't know about the relationship you two have. But still, caught red handed fucking in the backstage with his band mate is a little bit..

"That's embarrassing.." you sigh while covering your face, making jeno chuckled as he patted your head.

"He'll get used to it." He smiled like a puppy, as he not merely fuck you senseless just now.

-

You said that it's embarrassing. But it seems like you're liking how unusual things did give you some thrilling sensations you can't explain. Since then, you've had sex with jeno in the void meeting room when everybody's leaving from work. It's giving you anxiety on what if someone's barge in, or the worst-you'd get kicked out from the company and never ever get the same job even at the different place again-but funnily, you can't resist the good feeling jeno made you and the realization that you were actually enjoying the shit, eventually not giving any fuck if someone know.

Another day of you and jeno spending time together in the same room, giving some different kind of affections to each other. And you're just too afraid to say something; to ask him: 'what are we?' Because you couldn't be more happy with what's happening between you two now. And tonight is a bit different because you feel your heart ache in the way he hold you as he won't let go.

"Jeno.." you arched your back when his tongue trailed from your abdomen up to your breasts while he attempted to unclasp your bra.

After freeing the flesh, he mumbled in awe, "beautiful."

He latched his tongue on your nipple, swirling it with purpose, to make you even wet just for him, and him only, just like the way he liked it.

"Fuck, it feels so good, don't stop," you pulled on his hair, a signal for him to keep going. 

"Yeah? You like that, pretty girl?" Jeno kneaded on your swell as he sucked again on your nipple.

"Louder. Moan louder for me." And that's what you did. Your fucked up sounds is a music to his ears, railing him up to the extent where he just wanted to sink in you. 

Jeno cupped your sex, your panties were damp in arousal. "Shit, look at you. So fucking wet." He slid his fingers up and down your panties before he slipped his fingers in. You whimpered when his cold digit met your folds. He only play with your opening and clit, but it already drive you crazy. You're practically drooling, he's collecting your essence on his fingers before he bring it up to his mouth, tasting your arousal. You huff and puff, look already fucked up before him when he barely did anything.

"So pretty. So fucked up. So needy for me."

All you did is fucking whine. Lee jeno is driving you insane.

"Please," you plead. "Jeno,"

"Hm? What is it princess?" He asked with a sweet mocking tone.

"Fingers. Want your fingers inside me." You sternly told him, but your gaze was infirm.

He chuckled then replied, "of course baby, you'll have it. But later. I have to taste you first. Will you let me?"

He asked for your permission and what on earth is stopping you from letting him eat you out? Of course you would never say no.

"Pleasee," your whiny voice made him smile from ear to ear in satisfaction.

"Love it when you beg."

Jeno get down to eye level with your pussy before dive in. Your hips wouldn't stop thrusting up to him and pulling his hair, his strong hands looping on your thighs. At this rate his face buried deep between you legs and tongue prod into your cunt, exploring your hole, lips trying so hard to swallow you up, open mouthed kiss at your pussy, sucking and lapping. He's eating you out like there's no tomorrow. 

"Fuck, i think i'm gonna cum."

Jeno chuckled, "already? So spoilt."

Jeno bring his fingers down and curled the digit expertly inside your pussy, you're wiggling like crazy when he reached that sweet spot that got your pussy tightening around him, then he sucked your clit hard, made you cum in instant at his doing.

You gradually came down from your high and stared at him in the eye, begging.

"Jeno, please, let me suck you off."

He feels like he's flying up the cloud seeing you prettily begged for him. Then he smiled, "can't say no to a pretty girl like you."

You bit your lip before you kneeled in front of him, taking a hand of his hard cock and kissed the tip. You hold onto his balls while you licked and sucked along his shaft until your tongue met with the tip, then sink into his cock, swallowing him whole. You bobbed your head up and down, sucking in intensity. He groaned and bring his hand through your hair, while he got his head thrown back against the headboard.

"You're doing so good baby, keep going."

He hissed painfully, his muscles clenched and his grab on your hair is getting tight. Your left hand massaging his balls, mouth sucking at the tip, the other hand stroking the rest of his shaft.

"Fuck, i'm not gonna last." He hold your head and thrust into your mouth, chasing his high. Your gagged sound heard all over the room, eyes pricked from tears. His groan went louder and that's when he came all over your mouth, and you swallowed all of his seed like a good girl, his good girl.

You lap all of his fluid, cleaning his cock clean, and lick your own lips.

"God you're pretty." His stare full with admiration, then he caged you between his arms, locked your lips with his in a passionate kiss. Tongue dancing with each other, nipping at one's lip. Both of you moan into the kiss, until he break it first.

Your back arched so high, hips pressed against his own, wanted more just than kissing him, but he pushed your belly down and leaned in.

"Need you now. Need to make love to you."

Once again, your heart sank at his confession. You're already tearing up as he pushed his big cock into you, soon picking up a steady pace to thrust between your wall, all while kissing you out. His kiss felt so soft and sweet, but also fragile at the same time. Your bodies met, no space in between. You hug him tightly, so afraid that he might just run away or disappear in the blink of an eye. He made you feel so good you're crying, can't even think or talk straight, your mind felt numb.

That night, you remembered vividly the last word he said before you passed out.

"I love you."

-

The rainy night made you feel all lazy. You wouldn't get up from bed if you just didn't feel the urge to go to the convenience store and fulfill your craving with some warm food. You're definitely starving.

You take out your umbrella because it's still raining, but as you nearly arrived, it's became a drizzle before it came to a stop.

You fold your umbrella as you walk closer, but before entering the place, you definitely saw jeno at the dark aisle between two buildings; making out with who the fuck you don't care, as if someone could've not just pass by and saw them two passionately changing spits.

You froze in your place, can't even walk any closer to where jeno was. You felt anger bubbling up to your chest and at the same time, you can't help your heart from breaking into pieces.

But as someone's controlling you, you suddenly stomped on your feet, making a way to them with balled fists, and you nearly scream when you call him out.

"Jeno."

The two broke the kiss after couple of seconds as if they're unbothered, both dripping from the drizzle. He turned at you, eyes dark and indicating that he wasn't even surprised to see you there. 

But then he opened his mouth, "how th-"

"What the fuck?" You cut him before he talk, spitting your anger out, voice all husky and spiteful, extremely vulnerable at the same time.

"Who the fuck is that?" Your eyes burned from restraining tears roll down your cheeks.

"What happened with the other days when we literally spent time together? Yesterday, you just- we just- fuck, i- i thought you just said that you lo-"

You can't help but blubbering, can't even say the last word you meant from spilling out. It's too much.

The girl he was making out with tried to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist.

You scoffed, speechless.

Did he just stop her?

Sickeningly, he just walked by you as he made a way out while dragging her with him.

You swear you just felt so fucking dumbfounded. He didn't even say a word since earlier.

When you can't hold your tears back again, you break out and scream his name out. 

"LEE JENO!"

He looked back from his shoulder, but he still put the same blank expression in front of you before he chuckled.

"Well. Looks like i've got nothing to explain since you already saw it."

Still standing with the balled fists, you can't even talk as you were trying so hard to figure things out. Why the fuck did he do this? Did this to you?

"I believe you're capable enough to think with your little brain, princess."

Suddenly, the rain started to pouring again, leaving you all soaked up gradually.

He's giving you the nastiest smile he have ever showed you as he made his getaway with the girl and said,

"Wake the fuck up. I have never loved you."

―

And that's when you wake up from your dreams.

As your eyes fluttered, you felt tears running from the corner of your eyes, making your sideburns damp uncomfortably.

This fucking whole thing is a dream. A dream that's so real.

No wonder that all of it was happening so fast; and absurd.

Now you can't even think of jeno the same way anymore if you see him at work. 

You checked your phone. Of course it's december. You laughed bitterly at yourself when you realized you trapped with jeno in your dreams when it's fucking summer. You swear you can even feel the heat. It just felt so true.

You get up on your elbows then cursed under your breath before muttered to yourself, "never thought you'd love and hurt me at the same time."

And it's not even in the real world.

Is it better because it's just a dream? Or is it not because the real thing is even more an awful truth you need to accept?

That's when you realized that the meaning of impossible is literally as it is. It's the time for you to understand that both of you is poles apart, that he is different.

You'll never ever get him, and you need to forget him; as he might already forget you.

[crappymixtape]

this is how it ends

You went with everyone to kill Vecna, into the Upside Down, and you knew the risks, but none of you thought it would go this far – will you get to tell Steve how you really feel before it's too late? | (  2.8k, LOTS of angst, trauma, mentions of blood and violence, fluff, friends to lovers, steve x you, steve x reader )

T H I S I S H O W I T E N D S 🎶 prospekt’s march, coldplay

Everyone dies.

You know that. We all know that. But you didn’t think it’d be like this. Didn’t think it would happen so soon. There was still so much to do, but then again maybe you’d done enough.

You’d done what you were supposed to at the Creel house, had lit Vecna’s ass on fire. Nancy dealing him the final blow with her sawed off shot gun, but when you’d all gone down to see, he wasn’t there. The only sign left was a burnt and smoking outline in the lawn and then the ticking had started.

One. Two. Three. Four.

Four chimes. Four deaths.

And then the ground had opened up, torn and ripped and swallowing everything into the burning, hungry, vine-thick gashes.

Not dead.

“We gotta get outta here! Get back to Eddie’s!”

Steve grabbed your hand and pulled you out the front door as soon as the shaking had stopped, racing after Nancy and Robin as they took the stairs by twos. You could hear the howling and baying of dark creatures in the distance as you ran through the Upside Down, lungs sucking in the air that was still thick with ash, suffocating, and all you wanted was out.

When Eddie’s trailer came into view you felt relief starting to wash over you.

Please let us get out.

You don’t know how your legs were still carrying you, but you pushed them even harder.

Please let us get out.

Nancy and Robin got to the door first, fighting against all the wire and mesh to try and get inside. “It’s us, Jesus! Open up!” Robin fisted the fence in her hands and shook it hard.

Afraid of what was trying to get through Dustin and Eddie didn’t open the door right away, but after hearing Robin’s voice they fumbled with the locks and makeshift enclosures finally yanking it open. You could hear them yelling as you and Steve sprinted after them across the road into Eddie’s yard.

“Dustin, Eddie, go! Go!”

“What happened??”

“I dunno, he’s gotta be hurt or something, we lit his ass on fire, but he’s not dead. We gotta get outta here.”

“Max.”

“I know, I know. C’mon, Steve!” Robin practically pleaded out the door at the two of you as you ran up on the trailer.

“Christ, we’re coming! C’mon, babe, you next,” Steve scrambled up the steps and moved to take your hand, but when he turned around you weren’t where you should’ve been at his side. Brows knitting together in confusion, his chest tightened with panic, and then he looked up.

You don’t know how or why it’d happened, but it did. You had been so close. Eddie’s trailer was right there. The gate was right there. All you had to do was crawl through it, but instead you were still out in the ash. Out in the thick, suffocating air with a demobat wrapping its tail around your throat and squeezing so tightly little pinpoints of light pressed against your vision.

You saw the look of horror on Steve’s face as he realized what was happening and the scream that came from him was enough to bring tears to your eyes. Were you going to die? Because that’s how Steve was acting and you weren’t ready to die, you weren’t ready to go. There were things left unsaid and the regret gnawing at the pit of your stomach felt like it was going to swallow you whole.

Steve!

You thought you were yelling, but nothing was coming out. Only strangled words dying in your throat as the demobat squeezed impossibly tighter. It flapped its wings and pulled so hard you felt your feet lift from the ground before everything tipped sideways and you slammed into the rough ground. You were dizzy with the lack of air as you fought against the panic that was now spreading like a fire within you. Fingers scrambling, your hands tried to pull at the bat, nails scraping against the desiccated creature’s skin, but it was useless. It was too tight. Too strong.

Everyone dies.

A soft, dark shroud started to close in at the edges of your vision, wrapping you tightly in its warmth and you felt yourself slowing. Suffocating. Your arms and legs moving like you were stuck in molasses and it felt like eons since you’d taken in a breath. You would’ve killed for one right now, even one filled with ash, but it didn’t come. Blinking slow you watched as forks of red lightning cracked the sky in two above you.

Please let us get out.

But as the demobat tail constricted around your neck again you started to accept the fact that maybe you wouldn’t. Tears streamed down your cheeks. Washing away the soot and dirt and mud that had gathered there. You wondered at the warm feeling spreading through you and the power it had to take away the pain that had been screaming at your neck.

Your eyes were getting heavy, but you didn’t want to close them, not yet. Where was Steve? Even if you weren’t going to make it, please, all you wanted was to hold his hand. See his face. The deep brown of his eyes, long dark lashes as they swept across his cheeks, the secret little constellations of freckles and moles that dotted the line of his jaw and down his neck and shoulders. Your Steve.

I love you, you thought and you wished you could’ve told him, but it was getting harder to keep your eyes open and when they finally closed you didn’t think you would open them again.

“God dammit, die! Fucking die!”

Steve was a mess as he sprinted back across the lawn and into the fray of demobats. He would’ve gotten to you sooner, but the swarm was thick and with Dustin on the other side there were only four of them able to fight now. Swinging his heavy axe through the air he was a blur, cutting down the dark creatures like it was nothing, the thought of losing you pushing him to keep going.

Robin, Nancy and Eddie didn’t hesitate to follow after in a frenzy, helping to keep them off of Steve. Off of you as you squirmed on the ground, but there were a lot and it was taking too long.

“Steve, there’s too many of them!” Nancy yelled, tears welling up in her eyes, but Steve refused to hear what she was trying to tell them.

“I can do it!” he yelled back, cutting through four more in one swing as he saw your eyes flutter closed. “No! Don’t go, not yet, please not yet!”

“Shit, shit, shit. Robin! Nancy!” Eddie followed close behind, trying to give Steve coverage as he reached you. “He’s got it, he’s got it!”

With a guttural sound, almost animalistic, Steve cut down the demobat that was cinched tight around your neck, cleaving it in half, and as its tail went limp he scooped you up into his arms.

“Sweetheart? Baby. Please, baby,” he was begging you, pleading you to stay with him, but you weren’t breathing and he felt tears coming on. “C’mon, stay with me, stay with me,” he sobbed, putting you back on the ground, lifeguard instincts flinging themselves forward as he started CPR.

One, two, three. Breathe.

One, two, three. Breathe.

“Babe, please,” his tears were falling onto your cheeks, your lashes, your nose as he continued compressions, gave you the very life from his lungs.

“Steve, we have to get out of here!” Nancy shot off the last of her shells and threw a look at Robin and Eddie.

Everyone dies.

“Stevie boy, I don’t know how much longer we’re gonna last!” Eddie called out to him, not even trying to cover the desperation in his voice, but he didn’t have to ask again as Steve gathered you up in his arms and lifted you both off the ground.

“I got a heartbeat!” Steve wanted nothing more than to just hold you close to him, to be still for just a minute, but he had to get you out.

“Shit, okay! Let’s go. Go!” Eddie turned and shoved Nancy and Robin back toward the trailer as the bats twisted in a cyclone, preparing their final assault, but somehow it never came.

Whether higher power or miracle, as Robin says, you all made it back through the gate to the other side, but when you all landed it wasn’t the happy reunion you’d imagined.

“We gotta to go to the hospital, Steve. We can’t fix this,” Dustin’s voice sounded far away as Steve heard him talking in the back of Eddie’s van.

“Steve?” this time it was Nancy. Putting a hand on his shoulder she squeezed and took his chin in her other hand, turning his face to look at her, “This is beyond us.”

He wanted to be strong for you, wanted to tell you everything would be alright, but as he watched your chest rising and falling in short, stuttered breaths he knew Nancy was right. Squeezing his eyes shut tight he pulled you into him, wrapped his arms around you and told Eddie to go to the hospital.

Everything was a blur as the van pulled too fast into the ER parking lot. So many people, so many bodies.

“Get this one in right away on a vent! Lacerations on the neck and multiple wounds to the torso!” a team of first responders surrounded Steve as soon as he lifted you from the van, shoving an oxygen mask onto your face.

“Sir, we’ve got it,” one of them said, but he wouldn’t let go.

“Sir, please, we don’t have time for this!” and one of the nurses pulled you from his arms, Robin having to wrap her arms around Steve’s as he tried to grab after you.

“Wait, please! Let me go! Please let me go too!” and Steve fell apart as he watched them carry you into the hospital. There were no gurneys left. The sea of other people that had been hurt in the wake of Vecna’s assault on the earth was overwhelming.

“Steve, you did everything you could,” Robin’s voice cracked as she tried to reassure him and he collapsed into her, sobs wracking his body.

“I’m gonna go ask what room,” Eddie’s voice was thick as he tried to hold back his own cries, trying to find something to keep him going, to keep the adrenaline from leaving, but it was hard. It was too much.

Too much for all of you. The heavy weight you’d carried all this time. The deaths. The horrors. The injuries. The blood the sweat the tears the heartache. All culminated in the ground ripping open and swallowing you into the bowels of hell.

Everyone dies.

“Lucas? Oh my god–”

“Lucas! Is she–”

“Max?? Oh shit, Max!”

And that was it, no one could do it anymore, no one could hold it together. Lucas, bloodied and broken was carrying Max, just like Steve had carried you, and when Steve saw the same pleading look in the younger boy’s eyes he felt everything unravelling.

Please let us get out.

“Multiple broken bones here! Tachy as well! Get her in a room now!” a first responder snatched Max from Lucas as he fell to his knees, sobs shaking him as he buried his face in his hands.

“Max! Max don’t go! Save her, please save her!” Lucas cried out as Nancy rushed forward to envelope him in her arms and she started to cry too. And then Eddie. And Robin. And finally Steve and they all held onto each other like it was all they had left. And it was in a way. But this couldn’t be it. This couldn’t be the end. Not like this.

Beep, beep, beep.

Mechanical sounds cut through the deepest sleep you’d ever had. Was it sleep? Or had you died?

Beep, beep, beep.

Your eyelids felt so heavy and your brows knitted together as you put all your energy into opening them. It took everything you had to do it, but slowly the world swam into focus, unconscious melting away into conscious.

You felt something hooked up to your arm, felt a mask covering your nose and mouth, felt a monitor squeezing your finger. A painting of fruit on the wall. Windows covered with slatted blinds. A clipboard at your feet. The hospital.

“Steve?” came out weak, but you found your voice and tears pricked at the corners of your eyes.

Everyone dies.

But not you. Not like that.

And then a warm, steady hand pressed into yours and the painted fruit disappeared behind the sweetest thing you’d ever laid your tired eyes on. A long sweep of lashes, deep brown eyes, the soft curve of his lips, and my god that smile. Even when it was pushed beyond exhaustion, sad, and weary, it still lit your heart on fire.

“Baby? Jesus, baby you’re awake. I–I thought I’d lost you, I thought I’d lost you,” he buried his head into your side, crying softly in relief, and let your blanket soak up his tears as his hands tightly squeezed yours.

“Can’t get rid of me that easy,” you teased weakly, trying to smile, but your throat tightened with a sob of your own.

Lifting his head he pulled a hand away from yours to gently tuck your flyaways behind your ear. “Shit,” he laughed, voice wobbling as he cried, “You’re telling me.” His brows were knitted together, disbelieving of what he was seeing, fingers tracing the line of your brow, down your cheek, the soft curve of your chin. “You were really gone,” he said barely above a whisper.

Squeezing your eyes closed you felt yourself fighting a losing battle with your own emotions and tears silently fell from between your lashes.

“I tried to say it,” you confessed through your tears, “But I–”

“Oh, sweetheart. Say what?”

Lifting your arms they shook with the effort, but Steve leaned up to hold you fast, hold you steady, and you smiled despite your crying. “I love you, Steve Harrington.”

And god the look on his face then. He bit his lips in between his teeth, fighting back the sob that was pushing its way into his chest, and shook his head. He sucked in a breath and leaned down to press his forehead against yours and whispered, “I love you too.”

“You’re awake??” Dustin’s voice jolted both of your eyes open and Steve sat straight up, hastily wiping his arm across his face at his tears, and fixed the younger boy with a look.

“Christ, Henderson," his voice was crackly from crying, "It’s a hospital. People are healing.” Still Steve. Still the babysitter.

“Max is too!” Dustin didn’t listen and plowed through Steve’s protests, “Holy shit, you had us all worried. Like, really worried.”

“Wait, Max is awake?” Steve didn’t even bother to try and mask the surprise and relief in his voice.

“Yeah, well no, but yes. She’s breathing and vital signs are all perfect, but–“

“But what?” you asked, afraid of the answer.

“She’s in a coma. The doctors don’t know when—if—she’ll wake up.”

Silence gripped the three of you tightly and you felt a knot in your stomach take hold.

“She didn’t have a heartbeat for over a minute,” Dustin said quietly and you looked down at your hands, at Steve’s fingers tangled up with yours and couldn’t help the guilt blooming in your chest.

“But she’s still here, and so are you,” Steve recovered quickly, trying to reassure you, trying to find the light in the dark and you looked up to meet his eyes.

“She’s just next door when you feel up to it,” Dustin said, giving your arm a soft squeeze. “Buddy, if you need anything too let me know,” he clapped his hand to Steve’s shoulder and smiled a small toothy smile before going back out into the hallway, the door closing behind him with a soft click.

You sat in the quiet for a moment, Steve still holding your hands, and everything hit you like a ton of bricks.

Please let us get out.

“Take this thing off,” you grumbled, anger and grief and frustration overwhelming you as you untangled the oxygen mask from your ears, yanking it down over your chin.

“Babe–”

“I’m fine!” your throat tightened, tears welling up against your lashes as you pushed yourself up to sit, taking Steve’s face in your hands. “I love you. I love you, Steve Harrington and I’ll say it until your name doesn’t make sense anymore,” you choked out. And then you pulled him into you and pressed a kiss to his lips, a kiss that said a thousand I love yous, made one hundred promises to never leave again.

“I love you, too” he whispered against you and the way he caught your lips between his said a thousand I love yous, the same silent promises, I'll never leave you again.

Everyone dies.

But not today.

crappymixtape™ • steve harrington masterlist // stranger things masterlist

[acesofspadess]

And We're Live!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Worth The Risk Masterlist

You still couldn't believe that you had all made it to the live shows. You were excited to see Beverly and Bentley again as you hadn't spoken to them in a while.

"Making their debut performance, and the last of the groups, Simon." Dermot briefly introduced giving the floor to Simon. 

"Last act up tonight. Get ready. Its One Direction." The cheers were loud as your video played. 

“Being through to the live shows is absolutely incredible.” Harry started and you all agreed. 

“Im Louis. Im 18 and I'm from doncaster.”

“Im Harry, Im 16 and I'm from Cheshire.”

“Im Niall. Im 17 and I'm from Mullingar in Ireland”

“Im Liam. Im 17 and I'm from Wolverhapmton.”

“Im Zayn. Im 17 and I'm from Bradford.”

“Im Autumn. Im 15 and I'm from Hazel Grove.”

~~~~~

“You wouldn't connect this band with song normally… but it works.” 

~~~~~

As the screens opened you were standing next to Louis and Liam as the song started and Liam took his solo.

All of your solos, and choreo ran as best as they could. The chorus was the best as you all got to sing with each other. And you got the last line for your solo which you nailed if you say so yourself.

The cheers were loud as you all hugged shakily, the adrenaline still rushing through you. “When I heard you were gonna do Coldplay I thought it was a big big risk, but I love what you did with the song. You totally did it your own and I love that the band is working cause even though Simon is gonna say he put this band together, it was my idea originally Simon. It was. It was my idea and it worked.” Louis and Simon argued as you stood next to Louis who rubbed your shoulder happily. “I believe you could be the next big boy band… with a girl.” You laughed at that knowing you were in fact a boy band with one girl. “You have a lot of work to do with- Simon do you have a stylist? Or is it you?” the audience booed as you guys looked at each other slightly off put.

“I dont know who put you together because I wasn't there but you guys fit together so well.” You all jumped around at her words. “The song was great. You truly did make it your own. I wasn’t thinking of Cold Play then. Perfect pop band performance.”

The audience cheered and Danii’s words. “I have to agree with Danii, you look like you were meant to be together and in a group. You look fantastic. You've got all the ingredients for the perfect pop band. The girls and boys at home are going crazy for you, but you've got to take a little bit more time to develop as a group. That's all, just a little bit.” You grabbed Nialls hand after that and he squeezed it tightly. 

“As far you go in creating the group Louis lets rewind the tapes.” Simon fired back and everyone laughed. “Essentially you guys came together because your bootcamp auditions were not good enough, but you were too good to throw away. We took a risk. I’ve got to tell you what was so impressive about that- because its a big leap going on that stage- is when one of you started to screw up at the end Autumn and Liam stepped in and you brought it back together. Thats what bands do.” You and Liam- who was behind you- looked at each other and smiled as you rested your head against him briefly in gratitude. 

“And regarding the whole style issue, Louis… I don't want to style this band because I don't know how to style a band like this. We want the band to do whatever they wanted to do. I'm not gonna interfere, they're gonna do it their way. It was brilliant guys.” 

As Dermot came on stage you all got closer and saw Harry wink at someone in the crowd and you giggled at him making him look toward you and smile. You still held Niall's hand in yours and you let go of it only to wave as you walked off stage before everyone was wrapped in a giant hug by Louis. “Tommo!” you screamed laughing as it was your back he jumped on in the hug. Everyone laughed as you pulled apart and you saw Bev and Bentely. 

You ran to them giving them both hugs. “You did so well!” they cheered you on and you laughed anxiously. “We’re so proud of you, you know? We might not be able to make it to any more shows, but we want you to know that.” Bev told you and you shook your head knowingly. “Yeah I know. School and the drive must be really hard to balance. But I'm so glad you came when you could.” Bentely handed you a box without saying anything. “Man of many words.” you joked as open the box to see a new Blackberry. “No way you didnt.” you gasped as you jumped at him and he hugged you laughing. “First performance gift.” you laughed knowing how he would spoil you whenever he could. “Thank you Meadow.” he hugged you again. “Always Fall. Your Nan and Pap would kill me if I forgot but they said they'll try to get her soon. With the bakery being busy and the distance.” You understood and knew they wouldn't want you to think they didnt care. “I'll call them later and tell them its all alright.”

“Hey Autumn! We're going out to eat.” Harry called from a little ways back. “You gonna join?” you faced back to them. “Gotta get miss studious back to school. Sorry Fall.” you laughed it off because Beverly was the least studious person you knew, but school came easy to her. “Autumn!” Louis called.

“Okay I'll see you guys later.” You gave them another hug before running off and jumping on Zayn's back. “Ride like the wind.” you spoke mockingly until he actually started running and you couldn't help but laugh hysterically as all the boys chased you both through the stadium and to the car park. “Where are we eating?”

“KFC.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Worth The Risk Masterlist

tags:

@youcan-nolonger-run @ravenclawdirectioner

@luxiorchive @maeflowers653  @purple9950 @forkmeniall @nathalielovesonedirection @hopsydaisy @shortie-niya 

[foxes-that-run]

Just a Little Bit of Your Heart (JALBOYH)

Harry wrote JALBOYH for Ariana Grande, he first performed on his first solo tour. It is about loving someone who is not fully committed to the singer. Harry has performed 89 of its total 99 live performances, starting with this one in September 2017:

Ariana told J-14 she almost didn't record it because Harry's demo was so good and his was her favourite version:

“I was more intimidated because he recorded a demo for me so I could learn the song. I was like, "I don't know if I wanna touch this song.'

When was it written

To MTV Ariana said:

He was just visiting the studio and (producers) Savan (Kotecha) and Johan (Carlsson) were like 'Hey do you wanna write a song for Ariana?' and he was like 'Oh sure!'" "He went into the other room and they were writing for a while and I remember when I heard it I was like 'Wow that's a really strong verse, that's really beautiful’

Savan Kotecha and Max Martin produced Ariana’s album, 'My Everything', which was recorded at Conway Studios September 2013 to March 2014. Savan wrote WMYB and was close with Harry.

In another interview Ariana said it was written in Los Angeles when Harry had dates town. (6:50). 1D didn't have L.A. tour dates then. However he was in L.A. 20 February - 18 March 2014. Ariana was at Conway Studios the first week of that:

If Max Martin at Conway Studios 15-22 February 2014 sounds familiar, it should. That’s the who, where and when Style, I Know Places and Shake it Off were recorded (with another Johan). Ari and Taylor were at the same studio at the same time. Max Martin worked on both projects and Scott Borchetta managed them both. Taylor also would have played Style for Harry as a courtesy before leaving the studio with Max. Other artists also shared Conway during 1989.

In the 2014 timeline, within a fortnight: Harry was spotted backstage at Red, he broke up with Kendall, left Brits after party early to fly straight to LA the next morning, 20 February. Visited Conway Studios where Taylor was recording Shake it Off! Wrote this song. Then on on 25 February 2014 he got the anatomical heart tattoo and incorporated HSA Publishing. As this was his first commercial work outside 1D it was presumably to give Ariana this song. No wonder he has said it is special and his favourite song he gave away.

(Harry was also in LA 20 January, Ari and Taylor were also in Conway then, it could have been 20 January and I Know Places, I think Feb because of HSA's incorporation)

Harry was there when Ariana recorded it:

Ariana describes Harry’s energy in the studio: “Great! Very funny, very silly, very sweet, very professional, and never too serious. Like I would be singing in the booth and I would cut a vocal, and he would be like, ‘Oh that was terrible, you should try it again,’ but he was like joking. He was very nice, very very sweet guy.”

Taylor saw Ariana perform it at the Grammys. The screens showed Harry’s name. Ariana hugged Taylor after she performed OOTW.

On 25 September 2015 (Interesting date) Ariana performed it with Coldplay, Chris Martin said "This is a song written by the most handsome man in the world, Harry Styles, he couldn't be here so asked we perform it for you". Ariana Tweeted and Coldplay replied "beautiful song", which Harry liked. As publisher he approved that.

When meeting fans in 2017 Ariana also told fans it was about a relationship that wasn’t known and winked when asked if it was about Taylor. Tumblr post from a person there and one with screenshot of it. Thank you @womanexile

Lyrics

I don't ever ask you where you've been And I don't feel the need to Know who you're with I can't even think straight but I can tell That you were just with her

This verse establishes that Harry is writing about someone in an open relationship. The song is about another partner.

This verse is similar to the Taylor's line in:

Style “I say, "I heard, oh / That you've been out and about with some other girl, some other girl" / He says, "What you heard is true, but I / Can't stop thinkin' 'bout you and I" / I said, "I've been there too a few times" and

Tis the Damn Season "If I wanted to know who you were hanging with While I was gone I would have asked you"

And I'll still be a fool, I'm a fool for you

This line is very reminiscent of One Direction's Fool's Gold, which Harry wrote 6 months later. "I've let you use me from the day that we first met / But I'm not done yet / Falling for your fool's gold"

In both JALBOYH and Fool's Gold Harry sees his love is not reciprocated but he is a fool who loves them anyway. Harry was also a fool for love in Sunflower and Boyfriends. More on fool.

ChorusJust a little bit of your heart x2 Just a little bit of your heart is all I want Just a little bit of your heart x2 Just a little bit is all I'm asking for

This chorus is heartbreaking, here he settles for the smallest affection from someone in an open or not committed relationship.

A very similar idea is in Music For a Sushi Restaurant's "If the stars were edible / And our hearts were never full / Could we live with just a taste?"

Songs can be about more than they seem, (an open relationship), I think JALBOYH, Fools Gold and MFASR could all be about someone with different priorities who doesn't want to settle down and commit.

I don't ever tell you how I really feel 'Cause I can't find the words to say what I mean And nothing's ever easy That's what they say I know I'm not your only

Not communicating with his muse is a theme in Harry's work, and something he has said in interviews is that it's easier to say something in song:

MMITH "We don't talk about it / It's something we don't do".

Sign of the Times "We don't talk enough / We should open up / Before it's all too much"

Talk "Don't ask me to talk about / I don't wanna talk at all (hey)"

If I could fly is a nice juxtaposition, also written with Johan Carlson a year later, when he opened up.

Things are not easy, or complicated in Lay Down "Even though it's complicated / We were never meant to make it this time" and Complicated Freak.

But I'll still be a fool 'Cause I'm a fool for you I know I'm not your only But at least I'm one I heard a little love is better than none

In the last verse Harry resigns himself to not being his loves only, or priority but can't let it go.

[krisslegacy]

chains that bind us - the scientist

ao3 link

song - the scientist by coldplay

characters - bucky barnes x original female character

summary - james buchanan barnes is a man out of his time, lost in the darkness that hydra left in him.

frejaina heladottir swims in darkness, but the chains of hydra destroyed 200 years of her strength.

after the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, bucky and jaina stay in hiding across europe. it's a lonely existence, broken and battered by hydra. but they can't avoid the traumas they share- their souls have been linked since the 1950s. under the weight of their isolation, they are the only ones who can heal each other.

word count - 1,008

warnings and tags - hurt/comfort, slow burn, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining,ptsd, thoughts of past abuse, trauma

authors note- hi! frejaina, or jaina, can also be read as a reader self insert. shes technically an OC

jaina is the daughter of hela (thor ragnarok), and an unidentified soul of the underworld with the x-gene, which makes her a half-god mutant. her abilities from hela consist of necromancy and soul magic, while her mutant genes allow her to bend shadows, teleport through them, and assume a horrifying spectral-shadow form. she kind of has history with the x-men in the 1990s-2000s but falls back into the clutches of hydra but i won't get into that.

enjoy!

Toledo was quieter than he expected.

And the wind was warmer too. It filtered through the curtains of the safehouse to bring a comfort he didn’t expect. But it was welcome.

He liked this, he liked the open air of the countryside. It reminded him of a time he couldn’t remember, but a time he felt. A salty breeze and open sky. Sunlight. Distant honking of a bustling cityscape. Blonde hair and blue eyes.

He could think about these things now, for as long as he wanted. No one could stop him. Not the beast that held him hostage for so long, the creeping tentacles that stole his mind and twisted it into something else. But the fear was still close, and it didn’t feel right to be free. It felt… fake. Like a sick joke.

He inhaled. Exhaled.

His bionic arm felt much heavier nowadays, it was almost painful. A mind numbing, thrumming sensation that never left him long enough to know peace. It was a constant reminder of the past, the silver glint of chains that bound him. His fist clenched at the thought.

“Солдат.”

Not even blinking, the Winter Soldier responded. “певица.”

“It feels so… natural. For us, doesn’t it?”

The Shadow Singer was there when he turned around, half blended into the darkness that permeated the safehouse. Her eyes, evergreen, studied him with the same intensity they always had. But now, they weren’t poisonous. They were soft, calm, sad.

“I think they will always have a hold on us,” she said softly, moving towards the moonlight that he bathed in. “No matter how much we hide.”

They never stood closer than two feet to each other, were never allowed to. Even now, when nothing held them back, the memory of their muscles restricted them.

Absent-mindedly, she rubbed her hand against the scar at her neck. He can still remember the clasp around it, the sickly red swell it left when she’d finally pried it off. The tears that followed. He had never seen her cry before and it felt like something he shouldn’t have seen. That was natural, though, was it not?

He wouldn’t know. Nothing was natural for him anymore.

“You’ll have that scar forever,” he finally said, voice parched and rough like gravel. He hadn’t spoken in days.

The singer dropped her hand. “It’ll show what I’ve survived then. Same with your arm.”

Again, the weight of his arm caved, and he hunched slightly. There were times when he’d wake up from the sharp sensation of a cold burn, blood in his mouth. He saw round glasses and lab coats, harsh lights, mountains, snow.

He truly didn’t remember anything, then. Maybe the man on the bridge was right. What was his name again? Steven? Steve? Steve.

Steve. Perhaps he’d known him in another life, like he’d said.

That would be nice. It would be nice to know that somewhere in time, he had someone to count on.

The Shadow Singer was his mission partner. A fellow agent. A warrior. She would have his back, he would have hers. That was the way it had always worked for… how long? He would have to ask and find out.

“How long do you think it’s been?” Bucky said.

“Since what?”

He didn’t even know what he was going to ask. There had been a time before Hydra, but it felt impossible to imagine.

Her eyes shifted to the floor again, the creaky wooden boards that ran parallel to her. “I remember the day they found you. I watched them put you into cryostasis. A lot. It was always fascinating to me how the human body simply endured.”

A siren wailed miles away.

“You watched me.”

“Always.”

He nearly shuddered. Her green eyes burned into his retina.

Perhaps she knew more about him than he knew about himself. He never recalled… anything. Any feeling, any desire was absent to him, a void of limitless nothingness. He just remembered the cold and the pain and the lighting that danced across his bones. It gave him nothing. It gave him no incentive for help. Why? Why had he been so pathetic, like a dog, to sit there and take what they threw at him? Why could he have never stood up for himself?

He didn’t even realize how hard his metal fist was clenched before he felt feather-light touch against it.

His hand flew away from hers in a heartbeat. He didn’t want touch, he didn’t-

Immediately she retreated back into the safety of the darkness, shadows enveloping her into a tight hug before she all but vanished from his sight. The whole apartment was dark, yet the Shadow Singer found comfort in it.

Within a blink of an eye she sat on the small green couch. Arm crossed and chest curved inwards, she was suddenly not the monstrous otherworldly-creature he remembered. Now she seemed just as afraid and cold and cautious as he felt.

“What do we call each other now?” Her voice was quiet, but it carried the weight of a hundred years of servitude.

She was asking him. For an answer. For permission, a command. Something thick grew in his throat and he couldn’t swallow it. It wasn’t his place.

The man on the bridge- Steve- he called him Bucky. It had clicked like a missing puzzle piece in a larger equation. It felt right to him, to choose that instead of Soldat. He didn’t want to be a soldier anymore, he wanted to stop fighting.

The Shadow Singer sat up. “Do you remember your name?”

He thinks so. Yes. “Bucky.”

The word tasted like sugar on his tongue, rolled off smoothly. The stones of the past began to lift off of him.

“Do you have a name?” Bucky said slowly.

She nodded. “Frejaina. Jaina.”

In the years they’d worked together, never had they known their names, never had they used them. Bucky wanted to frown. He did.

Bucky and Jaina. The Shadow Singer and the Winter Soldier.

That’s who they would be now.

thanks for reading! hopefully this will be a series.

dividers by cafekitsune

[falseclosure]

worried | esme morgan x reader

summary: the one where esme can't help but worry

warnings: none

word count: 2k

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Exhausted from a long day of classes, I stumbled into the apartment that Esme and I shared. While I was at uni, Esme was out running errands before she had to leave for camp. I immediately cleaned myself up and collapsed into our bed, my ear throbbing with pain. Esme and I went to the Coldplay concert a couple of days ago so I didn’t know I had an ear infection because of that or something else. My tiredness overpowered me, and soon, I drifted off to sleep. 

A few hours later, I was jolted awake by Esme's voice echoing through the apartment. “Babe, I’m home!” she called, clearly searching for me. Usually, I would be in the kitchen preparing dinner for both of us, but tonight my earache was too much to handle.

“Babe, where are you?” I attempted to cover my ears with a pillow, hoping to dull the ringing sensation, but it was futile. Esme entered our room, her eyes immediately landing on me, sensing that something was wrong as she saw me in discomfort. She sat down beside me, gently prying the pillow away, and cradled my head in her lap, concern etched across her face.

"What's wrong?" she asked softly.

"My ear," I managed to say, wincing as the pain intensified. "It feels like it's going to pop."

Esme's breath hitched, her panic mirroring my pain. I didn't want her to worry further. "Can you get me some painkillers, please?" I requested, trying to divert her attention. She nodded, her love for me evident in every gesture. Esme went to the bathroom to fetch the medicine, and I slowly sat up, assessing the pain in my ear. As she returned, I smiled to ease her worries and took the painkillers with a grateful expression.

“Thank you.” I smiled wider at her. After I drank the medicine, she caressed my hair with a tender touch and leaned down to kiss my forehead. I tried to shift so she could sit beside me, but Esme insisted on holding me close, her arms wrapping around my waist as she nestled me between her legs, providing me with comfort and care. She rested her chin on my shoulder on the side of my ear that wasn’t hurting.

“What happened? Should I take you to the hospital?” Esme asked. She was always worried about me and I loved her for that. It shows me that she cares a lot about me. I pulled away a bit so I could look at her face. 

“It’s fine. I think my TMJ is just acting up. I thought it was because of the concert but it has been days since then and I wasn’t able to open my mouth properly earlier when I ate my lunch.” I answered her. I couldn't resist and gave her a kiss on her cheek. She looked at me lovingly and smiled. 

“I was worried, you know. I didn’t see you in the kitchen and I thought about the worst possible things.” Anxiety evident in her voice. I wasn’t shocked when she voiced her concern to me. It has always been a rule in our relationship to be open about each other’s feelings. I put my hand on her cheek, my thumb running a smooth pattern over it.

“I’m sorry I made you worried, love. I should have texted you when I got home.” I planted a kiss on her lips. I tried to deepen the kiss but she pulled away. I know she was worried that I’m gonna hurt myself. I gave her a reassuring smile. 

“Are you sure you’re alright now?” She asked me again. 

I smiled warmly at Esme, appreciating her love and concern. "I'm feeling a bit better now, thanks to you," I said, my voice still a little strained from the lingering discomfort in my ear. "But I promise I'll keep an eye on it. If it doesn't get better soon, I'll see a doctor."

Esme nodded, her worry still evident in her eyes. "Okay, just promise me that you won't hesitate to go to the hospital if it gets worse," she implored, her fingers gently intertwining with mine.

"I promise," I replied sincerely, knowing how important my well-being was to her.

She leaned in and rested her head against mine, finding comfort in our closeness. "You know, sometimes I wish I could stop worrying too much about you," she admitted, her voice soft and vulnerable.

I turned to face her, lifting her chin with my hand to meet her gaze. "Esme, your caring nature is one of the things I love most about you," I said, my words filled with sincerity. "You're always there for me, and I never have to doubt how much you care."

A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "I guess I can't help it, I think you'd find me overbearing if I care too much about you," she admitted. "I just love you so much, and I can't stand the thought of anything happening to you."

I placed my hand over her heart, feeling its gentle rhythm beneath my touch. "And I love you just as much," I replied. "You're my anchor, Esme. Your worry, your love, it all keeps me grounded."

Esme's eyes softened, and she pulled me into a tight embrace. "I don't know what I'd do without you," she whispered.

"You'll never have to find out," I assured her, wrapping my arms around her as well. "We'll always be here for each other, no matter what."

"So takeout for dinner tonight?" Esme suggested with a playful smile, trying to lighten the mood after our heartfelt exchange.

I chuckled softly, appreciating her attempt to bring some lightheartedness into the moment. "Sounds good to me," I replied, feeling grateful for her caring and thoughtful nature. "You always know how to make things better."

Esme's smile widened, and she leaned in to place another tender kiss on my lips. "I'll take care of everything," she said softly, her eyes filled with love. "You just rest and relax, okay?"

I gave her a nod and leaned back against her, feeling the warmth of her embrace envelop me. We spent the evening in bed eating the takeout she had ordered for us Coldplay softly playing in the background. I found solace in the company of the person I loved the most as the pain in my ear gradually lessened throughout the evening.

The next day, Esme insisted on taking me to the doctor. I was a bit hesitant but I knew it was for the best. We sat together in the waiting room, her hand holding mine tightly as we waited for my turn. Esme's worry was evident as she kept asking me if I was okay, her leg bouncing up and down.

When we finally saw the doctor, they confirmed that the earache was indeed a result of the loud concert and TMJ. They prescribed some medication and advised us to be cautious about loud environments in the meantime. Esme listened attentively, taking notes and asking questions to ensure my well-being.

In the days that followed, Esme and I cherished every moment together, knowing that soon she would have to leave for the football camp leading up to the World Cup. Despite the upcoming separation, we made the most of the time we had, savoring each other's company.

I couldn't help but feel a mixture of excitement for her as the day of her departure drew near and a tinge of sadness over the brief separation. Esme had a contagious love of football, and I was aware of how important the World Cup was to her but the idea of being apart from her for a while weighed heavily on my heart at the same time.

I got up early on the morning of her departure to make Esme a special breakfast. I wanted to be sure she had a delicious and energizing breakfast because she had been busy with last-minute preparations. I smiled at her and handed her a plate of her favorite breakfast as she sat down at the table.

"You're spoiling me," she said, her eyes lighting up with gratitude.

"I just want to make sure you're well-fed before you conquer the world," I replied with a playful wink.

Esme laughed, and for a moment, the worry about her departure lifted as we enjoyed each other's company. We talked about her plans for the camp and the excitement surrounding the upcoming World Cup. I assured her that I'd be cheering her on from home and eagerly awaiting her return.

After breakfast, we sat on the couch cuddling, soaking up the love and warmth in each other's presence. When she finally had to go, we stood at the doorway, clinging to each other tightly.

"I'll miss you," I whispered, my voice tinged with emotion.

"I'll miss you too," Esme replied, her arms wrapped around me as if she never wanted to let go. "But I promise, I'll call and message you every day, and we'll see each other again in just a few days when we play the send-off game."

"I'll be counting down the minutes," I said, pressing a tender kiss to her lips. "Go out there and show the world what you're made of, superstar."

Esme grinned, her eyes shining with determination. "I will. I'll make you proud."

“You always make me proud.”

True to her word, Esme kept in touch every day, sharing stories of her training and the excitement building up for the World Cup. Her messages and calls were a lifeline, keeping us connected to her even though we were apart.

Finally, the day of the send-off game arrived, and I eagerly made my way to the stadium to watch Esme play. Sitting in the stands, my heart swelled with pride as I saw her on the field, giving her all with passion and determination. She moved with grace and skill, commanding the game like the fierce athlete she was. The cheers of the crowd mixed with the beat of my heart, all in support of the woman I loved.

I joined the other fans in praising Esme and her team for their outstanding performance as the final whistle blew. I couldn't wait to give her a big hug and tell her how wonderful she was.

After the game, I waited eagerly for her in the stands. She was signing stuff for some fans when she saw me. She ran in my direction and gestured for me to come down to the field. She immediately engulfed me in a big hug and it spoke volumes of the love we had for each other.

"You were amazing out there," I said, pulling away from her beaming with pride.

Esme blushed, her eyes glowing with happiness. "Thank you, love," she replied, her voice tinged with excitement. "It means the world to me to have you here, cheering me on."

"I'll always be your number one fan," I said, squeezing her hands. 

She leaned in to plant a soft kiss on my lips. "I'll make sure you're by my side every step of the way," she whispered, her eyes locked on mine. "No matter the distance, no matter the challenges, we'll face them together."

Touched by her words, I felt butterflies in my chest. "I believe in you, love," I said, my voice filled with conviction. "And I'm so proud to be with someone as talented and caring as you."

Esme's smile widened, and she pulled me closer, wrapping her arms around me protectively. "I couldn't ask for a better partner," she murmured against my hair. "You're my rock, and your love gives me the strength to chase my dreams."

We stood there enjoying each other's company. The World Cup was just the start of an exciting chapter in our lives. Esme's journey was certain to be full of difficulties and victories, but I was prepared to be there for her at every turn, encouraging and loving her unconditionally.

[ashturnedtomist]

Song Lyrics that Remind me of the Redacted couples <3

Lovely & Vincent: “You take the breath out of my lungs, can’t even fight it, and all the words out of my mouth without even trying,” - Speechless, Dan + Shay

Angel & David: “My accidental happily ever after. The way you smile and how you comfort me, with your laughter. You were not a part of my book, but now if you open it up and come take a look, you’re the beginning and end of every chapter,” - Never Knew I Needed, Ne-Yo

Asher & Baabe: “It’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do. Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you,” - Marry You, Bruno Mars

Milo & Sweetheart: “Let’s start the day with breakfast in bed, think I’m gonna love you ‘till I’m dead. I can’t wait to buy you things, a brand new diamond ring. This is more than just a fling,” - Something About You, Eyedress

Sam & Darlin’: “I will not ask you where you came from, I will not ask and neither should you. Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips, and we should just kiss like real people do,” - Like Real People Do, Hozier

Gavin & Freelancer: “I know that I’m feelin’ so much more, than ever before. And I’m giving so much more to you than I thought I could do,” - Fly Love, Jamie Foxx

Damien & Huxley: “We don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong. And, oh, we started two hearts in one home. It’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn, I know. But oh, sweet creature, sweet creature, wherever I go, you bring me home,” - Sweet Creature, Harry Styles

Lasko & Dear: “And I know I’ve kissed you before, but I didn’t do it right. Can I try again, try again, try again?” - Pink in the Night, Mitski

Vega & Warden: “Deadly fever, please don’t ever break. Be my reliever, cause I don’t self medicate,” - my strange addiction, Billie Eilish

Bestie & Blake: “Don’t you know I’m no good for you? I’ve learned to lose you, can’t afford to. Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin’, but nothin’ ever stops you leaving,” - when the party’s over, Billie Eilish

Avior & Starlight: “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and everything you do. Yeah, they were all yellow,” - Yellow, Coldplay

Sunshine & Elliott: “When I’m without you, I’m somethin’ weak. You got me beggin’ beggin’, I’m on my knees,” - Sugar, Maroon 5

Aaron & Smartass: “I figured it out, saw the mistakes of up and down. Meet in the middle, there’s always some common ground. I see what it’s like, I see what it’s like for day and night, never together ‘cause they see things in a different light like us,” - You and I, One Direction

Ollie & Baby: “And when I start to build my future, [they’re] the main component. Call it dumb, call it luck, call it love, or whatever you call it, but everywhere I go, I keep [their] picture in my wallet,” - Cupid’s Chokehold/Breakfast in America, Gym Class Heroes

Honey & Guy: “I don’t wanna go to school, I don’t wanna take the call, I just wanna be a fool and get lovesick with you,” - Lovesick, Peace

Geordie & Cutie: “You’re coming back, and it’s the end of the world. We’re starting over and and I love you, darling, and I am done, dear,” - I Want You, Mitski

Anton & His Listener: “I sit by myself, talking to the moon, tryna get to you in hopes you’re on the other side talking to me too,” - Talking to the Moon, Bruno Mars

Side note: what do you think Anton’s Listener should be called? Or Lasko’s?

[shade-without-color]

Do you find knights on drunken parties?(A Midokirin drabble)

Note: It has been forever so I have to write a story based on my birthday piece from @clearwillow, so I am simply tapping upon my nostalgia for all things 2000's teen rom-coms, I am sorry if I took much longer than usual, as I have a bad writers' block- I hope you enjoy that!

On the starry night away from the laughter of college kids, Kirinmaru found himself moving away from the cheap shots of tequila and loud music blasting from cheap speakers in their phone, to see Midoriko rocking herself back and forth in a wooden swing, simply thinking, simply…

Simply….

“I suppose that Jakotsu’s snacks did not agree with you….” Midoriko found herself pausing her swings. “What are you going, drag my hair to enjoy another drunken night and wake up miserable and desiring to drink pickle juice to keep myself focused for next class….”

“No….” Kirinmaru shrugged his shoulders, conveniently shuffling himself unto that empty swing and began to rock his feet back and forth. “I would not let you, I think you deserve some respite. After all, I observe that you made a face to one of Jakotsu’s friends when he touched your butt despite your protests.” Midoriko chuckled a little, there is a term that the clique of girls said to guys who are genuinely thinking with their heads rather their dicks called ‘Green Flag guy’, “You read me too well perhaps…” distracting herself from Kirinmaru’s soft timbre, maybe he is doing that to slide his hands to her hips. “You read me too well…..”, her tone of voice betrayed otherwise, impressed and yet careful. “I went there, not to have fun, but to keep watch of my girlfriend-Yuna, I think you saw her, flirting with the other guys….” Kirinmaru nodded to Midoriko’s word as she recounted that Yuna went through a rough breakup and decided to got to that party to drown her sorrows, in hopes to find a cute guy. Kirinmaru frowned a little, recalling Yuna’s face- she was one of the prettiest girls in the party, drunk on cheerful oblivion, munching through all of the store-bought dips and giving sweet smiles to Kirinmaru.

 “I suggest that we can go for a small spa day at my house and watch shitty movies…” Midoriko kicked her legs back and forth, gazing over the shimmering night sky . “But she would not listen, instead she wasted herself unto that stupid party….”

Kirinmaru quietly looped his arms unto the wired ropes, mirroring her movements “And I suppose you feel like you could not do anything….” As if on cue, Midoriko noticed Yuna swaying back and forth, walking towards Midoriko and Kirinmaru, drunk with cheap liquor and misery. “Hey….I do not feel good at all….” Midoriko got out from the swing grabbing Yuna while Kirinmaru held Yuna’s back, sighing at her pitiful state. “Maybe…we….should… bring her somewhere quiet, if you want, I could drive her home if you want Midoriko….”

 Yuna meanwhile mumbled to Midoriko’s ear. “Hey….we should stay at Bankotsu’s place longer I heard that Jakotsu is ordering some more pizza….”, before nuzzling to her shoulder. “I…” Midoriko shook her head. “Hey….this party kinda sucks Yuna, we should head back….” , Yuna did not protest, but instead mumble to Midoriko. “Yeah….I got a stupid test to study….” Kirinmaru nodded to Midoriko, quietly nodding to Yuna. “You do….well Kirinmaru is cool enough to drive us back home, thankfully not drunk” Midoriko heaved a sigh of relief that Yuna actually comply to their words, as she watched that night sky twinkle brightly in the sky, As Kirinmaru quietly opened the door, allowing Yuna to pass through the car seat, Yuna mumbled to herself. “Shit I feel shitty…..” nuzzling at Midoriko’s shoulder. 

“Do not worry…..” Midoriko quietly smile observing Kirinmaru switching the radio on-to dull the sound of the car engines rubbling, with Coldplay’s Fix You playing softly. “We are going back to the dorm….I will get the painkillers and ginger sodas…” Kirinmaru observed Midoriko stroking Yura’s hair away from her forehead. “Hey, are you ladies comfortable?”, Midoriko did not reply, as she is lulled to the comforting aroma of pine in the car. Kirinmaru did not need to speak, expect to watch for the shimmering traffic lights and road signs.

////

Moments later.

“Here ya go….” Midoriko gently moved Yura out of Kirinmaru’s car seat, careful that she would not knock a lamp post or a sign. Kirinmaru meanwhile lean his hand onto the front of the car. “Hey you do not need to act like you are our bodyguard, we are big girls….” Midoriko smiled quietly. Kirinmaru has a slight blush in his face upon Midoriko’s statement. “Well, I do not feel good when I leave you two girls alone….” Midoriko sighed quietly upon Kirinmaru’s quiet quiver in his lips, as they are about to walk past the guardhouse.

It seems so endearing.

“Hey you know what,….” Midoriko grinned a little. “I will pass you my number, and I will update you on my friend….” That eased Kirinmaru’s heart. She quietly smiled at him. “Do you happen to have a piece of paper?”

“Well….” Kirinmaru muttered quietly. “Oh give me a moment

////

Few weeks later.

Midoriko with Kirinmaru standing together at the record store for their date, which Midoriko picked up the Cranberries- “You like that….” Kirinmaru rubbed smooth circles around Midoriko’s thumb. “I never expect you to like them…” Midoriko laughed quietly at his quiet affection. 

“Then what do you like….” 

Kirinmaru quietly took the record of Smashing Pumpkins, passing it to Midoriko. “This…Tonight, Tonight is so good….” Midoriko giggled a little. “Ok I will take your suggestion, Kirin…..” Midoriko brought to the cash counter. “Then in return, I will pick something for you….” 

“As you wish….” Kirinmaru smiled quietly, waiting patiently for Midoriko to choose the album for him.

Midoriko never thought on that horrid college party that she will meet her knight in shining armour, who eventually followed up with them with many acts of kindness- like checking on Yura’s hangover, or searching for that much needed library book- with the biggest surprise being that he ended up being her boyfriend.

And of course a very sweet one.

[bevioletskies]

for you i’d wait (‘til kingdom come) [chapter one]

summary: Quiet, gentle, and driven more by their emotions than their duties, the twin princes of Ayutthaya turned out to be nothing like what their people imagined. Now eighteen, they’re both expected to be engaged in a year’s time and married in two, despite their lack of marriage prospects. However, when Tinn falls in love with the singing voice of a servant boy he’s never actually met and Heart finds himself unexpectedly confronted by the boy’s twin, they both end up spellbound in more ways than one, and must choose between what they want and who they need to be. a/n: This fic takes place in a magical alternate universe set in 19th-century Thailand, where it’s instead known as Ayutthaya. For more information on the historical and magical lore of this world, check out this reference page. Fic title is from the song ‘Til Kingdom Come by Coldplay.

preview:

“Are your hands better now? Were you seen to by a healer?”

Of course, Li Ming thought, feeling foolish for having not realized it earlier, he thinks I’m my brother. His jaw tensed. “Why were you in the cellar, on your birthday, in the middle of the night?” he demanded. “Why were you stealing alcohol? Did you not already get your fill during that revolting spectacle you dared to call a birthday party?”

Now it was Prince Heart’s turn to recoil like he’d been struck across the face. “Gun?”

“My brother is hurt because of your carelessness, not that he’d be the first,” Li Ming continued. “You even left him to clean up by himself! Did you not consider for even a second that someone with open wounds shouldn’t be left to dispose of broken glass?”

“You’re not Gun.” Realization finally dawned on Prince Heart’s face. “You’re a twin, like me.”

“And that letter, it’s - ” Li Ming hesitated, catching himself before he could say too much. The envelope bore no name, but the moment he saw it, he knew exactly who it was for. “Is it really from Prince Tinn, or are you both just toying with someone’s affections for your own amusement?”

Prince Heart’s expression shifted again. “You know who my brother’s lover is?” he exclaimed. The turn of phrase made Li Ming nauseous. “I promise you, it really is him, and he means every word.”

“As if I have reason to believe you,” Li Ming retorted. “Why would the crown prince be so fascinated by someone he’s never actually met?”

Much to Li Ming’s fury, Prince Heart huffed out a silent laugh, as if Li Ming’s anger amused him. “You ask too many questions too quickly,” he said, eyes twinkling with mirth. “How am I to answer them all?”

In hindsight, Li Ming knew he shouldn’t have done it. He knew what the consequences were, how dire they would be. And still, all he could see was red. He lunged forward, seizing the front of Prince Heart’s pha biang in both hands.

(read on ao3)

[percsane]

— did i drive you away? ☆

pairing: riri williams x blk afab reader

content: angst , swearing , upset reader and riri.

summary: riri’s been pushing you away without realizing, and you can’t help but wonder why..?

kendall’s note: okay yall, finally writing some angst (it’ll have a happy ending dw) but i’m not sick anymore so now i can actually fr write, this is inspired by sparks by coldplay btw!

(♡) or rb! :)

read.

that’s what read underneath the last message you sent riri..

last week.

you decided it’s been enough time since you last talked, you missed your best friend, the love of your life..

you walked up to her room and waited for a second, thinking of what you would even say to her.. today was the same day that her dad died years ago.

you were the one she went to when you both were just 15.. running to your arms and crying into your shoulder and she sulked over her fathers death, and as her best friend, you looked out for her.

you knew this day was always hard for her, every year that would pass it was as if it got worse.

you stood in front of riri’s dorm, and finally knocked on the door, anxious to see how she was holding up.

the woman who opened the door wasn’t your riri.. but she was.

riri had deep dark circles under her eyes, her face was puffy as if she’d been crying all day, her eyes were red, and her facial expression, she looked hurt.

you stood with her favorite snacks and chips and drinks in a little bag you made for her, she looked at you, then down at the bag.

“not in the mood today, (y/n).” she said harshly, her voice hoarse

you pushed past her and entered her room, placing down the bag as if she hadn’t said a thing.

“i promised you when we were 15 that i’d never leave your side on this day, no matter how upset, how angry, how embarrassed you could possibly be, i’m not going anyway riri williams.” you spoke, sternly.

“(y/n). i’m not in the mood today. look, maybe next year i just need space, i really need you to get the fuck out.” she says, you can see the build up of anger getting to her.

“but i-” you started.

“(Y/N) GET THE FUCK OUT.” she yelled brokenly, you decided if she needed her space, you’d give it to her. though, it broke your heart to see her like this, you didn’t wanna push it.

you left and as soon as you were on the other side of the door, you heard it slam behind you.

a few days after the.. incident you continued to give riri her space, you would notice her stare at you in lectures, and every time you looked back at her, she looked away.

you were in the library, trying to study for your next exam as you clicked away on your computer, headphones in your ears as you listened to music to calm your nerves.

you felt the presence of someone next to you, looking up from your computer, you see her.

riri gives you a weak smile.

you return it, taking your headphones off.

“hey..” she speaks quietly.

“hey riri.” you say blandly.

“can i uh… talk to you?” she asks, scared you’ll say no.

“yeah.” you shrug, backing your stuff up into your tote bag and getting up to exit the library with her.

“look, i’m sorry for yelling at you.. and being an ass. i really dont fucking deserve a friend like you, you do this every year, and you never disappoint me. i guess i got a lil scared that.. i dunno maybe one year you’ll realize you don’t need to do this shit for me anymore..” you saw tears fill her eyes as she talked, trying to wipe them away.

“riri..” you began.

“no, listen to me i’m sorry, i’m sorry i blew up on you, that i let my own insecurities get in the way of our friendship.. i really just hope i didn’t drive you away. i love you, (y/n). more than a best friend should and that shit fucking scares me.” she confesses, making you look her in her eyes, cupping her cheeks as you press a kiss to her forehead.

“riri, i love you too ight? that’s never changed, i’ve always seen you more than a best friend, and i don’t want that to change. but you could never, ever drive me away. i’m not going anywhere okay? neither is my love for you.” you smile, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips.

riri pulls you closer and hugs you tightly, making you chuckle a little before rubbing her back.

“my heart is yours, riri williams.” you whisper into her neck.