#and i rolled my eyes

[bussinpoots]

Lion King came out 30 years ago!? brb, better start deciding what casket I want when I die of old age next year

[nutnoce]

The Sun! I miss it!

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

How Bill was defeated and captured by Ford in my Gf AU! He basically just tricked Bill into accepting a deal that trapped him within Ford's mind and under his control :]

He may have gotten a little out of hand though....

>:)

Next post :]

[thatwavephenomenon]

me: i sure hope the crows are not gonna be solely depicted in veilguard as a brave force who 'fight for all' when they are at their core a criminal organization who is known to buy children to indoctrinate them and turn them into assassins, by putting them in overcrowded warehouses and making them fight for scrapes in order not to starve, to later torture those who reach adulthood to finish their initiations and kill them anyways if they dare to try getting out

bioware: i cooka da pizza

[shotmrmiller]

getting shot down by ghost without even asking him out or anything because he'd heard from one scottish bird that your type of guy was exactly like him and thinking back on it now, all the qualities you'd listed for your dream man do sound like as if you were describing him. yikes.

you don't take his rejection to heart, even though it does lightly sting but before you get a chance to explain that said scottish bird is an idiot and very mistaken in his assumption, ghost is telling you that it'd never work, you'd only get hurt and that you do take to heart because what does that mean, exactly? does he think you some dewy eyed farm girl looking for love? that you can't have casual sex with someone without eventually wanting for more?

"tha' ain't wha' i said. you'd get hurt, i mean look at ya." what about you? it's not like you'd let any of what happens behind closed doors affect your performance or anything, you and kyle always keep things professional while in the field.

also, is he aware that he doesn't have to have a reason to not want to sleep with you, or anyone else for that matter?

"you're small," he states, as if fact.

small? small where? your irritation dissipates, shoulders bleeding tension as genuine worry begins to set in. his vision might actually be going bad. could it be the black paint he wears under his mask? is it even safe to use on the face let alone near the eyes? did he read the instructions?

but then you realize he's looking at your legs, or specifically, what's between them and things click, and now you're wondering how someone so bloody brilliant could be this fucking stupid.

"while i appreciate your concern, lieutenant," you pointedly snap, "that's not even- i'd be just fine." he's a big guy, for sure. massive, if being honest. his neck alone is easily bigger than both your hands and you've caught him once or twice having to duck his head to enter the debriefing room but him being so endowed that it poses a threat to you is idiotic at best.

he hums, long and low in his throat, as he peers down at you through heavy lidded eyes, and raises his right shoulder in a shrug. "as you like," and that's the one and only warning you got.

simon had given you as much foreplay as needed, had lapped at your pussy until you forgot what day of the week it was, curled and scissored his fingers until his bedsheets were sodden and it still hadn't been enough. he'd only fit about a fourth of it in before he took pity on you and fucked your thighs instead until he got close, pushing his ruddy tip back into your aching cunt because "spillin' outside is a waste," and sent you on your merry way.

you're no quitter though and after some shopping online, your saving grace (dilators) will be here in a week.

(now to find soap and rip the rest of his hair right out his scalp for wagging his tongue.)

[astracora]

Actually obsessed with the way his eyes do the widen when he's shocked or unsure what to do.

[asavt]

Once upon a time a small rat walked into my web...

[raebonnz]

happy lizzie week i mean lizzie week i mean lizzie week i mean lesbian week

[dorkfruit]

umm….. thats not helping

[skyrigel]

Simon who's an attention whore. You cooking? So he's clinging on to your neck, grabbing away that spatula and kissing you giddy. You on work ? So he's leaning against the wall, brooding and whining and mewing. You out with your friends? He's sending that Little scratch he got, captioned with, “need kissies now”, he lowkey wants your fuckin' attention all the damn time and he's so shameless about it.

[kedicatt]

shh, he's having his dinner... don't bother him right now

[stiffyck]

I should be allowed to get a "skip pointless and stupidly forced romance" button in everything I watch ever

[asharaks]

cutting davrin out - of his own death, his own epilogue, his own plot - in favour of his dog was a calculated choice bioware made: people won't care about the black, indigenous-coded man unless we give them a reason to, so rather than putting work and effort into giving him a complicated, emotionally impactful plot that ties into the themes of the game, we'll just stick him with a cute animal and hope that's enough to get people to care, and it worked! assan is the thing people care about. i've seen davrin's death scene giffed and tagged with just assan, i've seen people saying they hated making this choice because assan's just a baby, people saying they hate that assan dies alongside davrin because he "doesn't have to" . like, folks, can we step back and think for a second abt what agenda the writers could've had in making you choose between returning fan favourite fantasy catholic white woman harding and late-recruited indigenous-coded black man davrin, with a gimmick thrown in so you can pretend to feel bad? can we? for me?

[helpallthenamesaretaken]

i love how different percabeth is from different male lead narrated american middle school romances from the romantic point of view. usually, the male lead has a crush on the cold and kind of mean female protagonist cause she's pretty and not like the other girls.....she's pretty and not like the other girls....thats it oops. but annabeth and percy. annabeth fell first. even though she's cold and sassy too, she believed in percy. she saw the good in him and loved him for it. then percy fell. he didnt have to worry about whether annabeth would like a loser like him. yeah, he doubted why annabeth liked him once in a while, but it was a never a question of 'does she?' its healthy. and thats what makes rick riordan one of the best middle school authors ever thank you bye

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

christ sometimes I just wanna. steal a time machine & go back & sit down next to my 9-year-old self and just like. let them pull out their pokemon card binder & gush about their holographic gyarados or whatever. I'd just smile & ask questions about motherfukcing bulbasaur & tell my kid self that I thought they were a neat person, & someday they'd find other people who thought so too.

like i'm a grown adult who honestly finds most kids stuff boring, but. damn if i could go back & hang out with my baby self & listen to them ramble...just so they knew someone was listening. i would in a heartbeat. thinking about u kid

[guys-in-distress-database]

Oooh oooh! Here’s another bondage trope I hate:

When the main character is tied up differently than everyone else, but just so they can escape easier!

Because, you know, they’re just SO special that the antagonists conveniently decided they get lighter restraints, just as a treat.