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frmartinshomiliesandreflections · 4 months ago

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27th July >> Fr. Martin's Reflections / Homilies on Today's Mass Readings for Saturday, Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time (Inc. Matthew 13:24-30): ‘Let them both grow till the harvest’.

Saturday, Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time

Gospel (Except USA) Matthew 13:24-30 Let them both grow till the harvest.

Jesus put another parable before the crowds: ‘The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed in his field. While everybody was asleep his enemy came, sowed darnel all among the wheat, and made off. When the new wheat sprouted and ripened, the darnel appeared as well. The owner’s servants went to him and said, “Sir, was it not good seed that you sowed in your field? If so, where does the darnel come from?” “Some enemy has done this” he answered. And the servants said, “Do you want us to go and weed it out?” But he said, “No, because when you weed out the darnel you might pull up the wheat with it. Let them both grow till the harvest; and at harvest time I shall say to the reapers: First collect the darnel and tie it in bundles to be burnt, then gather the wheat into my barn.”’

Gospel (USA) Matthew 13:24-30 Let them grow together until harvest.

Jesus proposed a parable to the crowds. “The Kingdom of heaven may be likened to a man who sowed good seed in his field. While everyone was asleep his enemy came and sowed weeds all through the wheat, and then went off. When the crop grew and bore fruit, the weeds appeared as well. The slaves of the householder came to him and said, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where have the weeds come from?’ He answered, ‘An enemy has done this.’ His slaves said to him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’ He replied, ‘No, if you pull up the weeds you might uproot the wheat along with them. Let them grow together until harvest; then at harvest time I will say to the harvesters, “First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles for burning; but gather the wheat into my barn.”’”

Reflections (5)

(i) Saturday, Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time

We are all familiar with weeds in our gardens. We have a tendency to root them out immediately. However, sometimes the weeds are so close to the shrub or flower that to take out the weed risks disturbing the plant. We sometimes have to let the weeds be for the sake of the plant. We are also aware in recent times that the flowers which weeds generate can be great pollinators for our bees. We are now being told not to be rooting out our dandelions so quickly and ruthlessly. Weeds are making a comeback! In the parable that Jesus speaks in today’s gospel reading, the servants of the landowner wanted to pull up the weeds that had appeared among the wheat. However, the landowner himself was a more patient man. He was aware that pulling up the weeds could pull up some wheat as well and he advised letting both weed and wheat grow until harvest time, and then they could be separated. There is always a deeper meaning to Jesus’ parables. He wasn’t primarily talking about gardens or fields of wheat. After all, he began the parable with the words, ‘the kingdom of God may be compared to…’. Jesus was really talking about God and how God relates to us. He is suggesting that God can be patient with our weaknesses because God recognises that they are often closely aligned with our strengths. An angry person may have a passion for justice; a lazy person may be a great listener; an overly anxious person may be very dutiful and conscientious. God recognizes that we are all a mixture of wheat and weed, of good and evil, of strength and weakness and he is patient with our mixture. We need to be patient too, with ourselves and with others. In striving after a perfect garden, a gardener risks doing harm as well as good. In striving too hard to make ourselves perfect or, more worryingly still, to make others perfect, we risk doing as much harm as good. We need to learn to live with the mixture we and others are, while celebrating and working to enhance all that is good there.

And/Or

(ii) Saturday, Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time

There is something of a contrast in this morning’s gospel reading between the farmer who sowed wheat seed in a field and his servants. When weeds started to appear among the wheat, the instinct of the servants was to dig up the weeds so as to have a field of pure wheat. The farmer’s instinct was different. He was more tolerant of the weeds. He suggested letting both wheat and weeds grow together until the harvest time, and then they can be separated. He was a patient man; he knew he would get his wheat without the weeds eventually. However, in the meantime, he could live with the weeds. He didn’t have the zeal of his servants to purify his field immediately, without waiting. In this parable Jesus was saying something about the kingdom of God and, more particularly, about the sign of that kingdom in our world, the community of his disciples, what we call the church. Jesus recognizes that the church will be a mixture of the good and the not-so-good up until the end of time, when all that is not of God will disappear. As individual disciples we too will remain a mixture of light and shade until we are fully conformed to the image of God’s Son in the next life. We are all the time trying to grow more fully into God’s Son. Yet, we have to accept that sin will always be part of our lives, this side of eternity. Like the farmer in the parable, the Lord is patient with us. We need to be patient with ourselves and with each other. This is not complacency; it is simply the realistic recognition that we are all a work in progress. God has begun a good work in our lives, and even if will never be completed in this life, God will bring that good work to completion in eternity. In the meantime, we try to create a space for God to work in our own lives and in the lives of others.

And/Or

(iii) Saturday, Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time

Jesus in today’s parable was warning us against a premature separation of wheat from weed, of the good from the bad. He was saying that this kind of separation is really God’s work, not our work, and that it will happen at the end of time rather than in the course of time. Just as the servants in the parable would have been unable to distinguish the wheat from the weeds if they had been let loose, we do not always have the necessary insight to distinguish who is good and who is evil. We can get it terribly wrong; we only have to think of those innocent people who have been wrongly imprisoned. How often in our own personal lives have we judged someone harshly only to discover in time that we were very wide of the mark. The church itself has not always heeded the warning of Jesus about the dangers of premature separation. The inquisition was not in the spirit of the parable that Jesus speaks in today’s gospel reading. Too great a zeal to purify the wheat field risks doing more harm than good. A weed-free garden may be highly desirable, but the gospel today suggests that we may have to learn to live with weeds. We need to be patient with imperfection, in ourselves and in others. As we know only too well, life is not tidy. It is not like a well-manicured garden, in which order and harmony prevail. Each of us is a mixture of wheat and weed; we are each tainted by sin and yet touched by grace. Our calling is to grow in grace before God and others, as Jesus did. We look to him to help us to keep on turning from sin and growing in grace.

And/Or

(iv) Saturday, Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time

It has often been said that our weaknesses are the shadow side of our strengths. The line between the good and the not-so-good in our lives can be very subtle. If we are over zealous in trying to root out what is not so good in someone’s life, or, indeed, in our own, we might damage what is good there too. In the parable Jesus speaks in today’s gospel reading, the owner’s servants wanted to root out the weeds that had appeared among the wheat. The owner had to restrain them. This was not the time for such separation; it is not always easy to distinguish wheat from weeds at an early stage of growth, and both can be closely intertwined. The separation would come at harvest time. In the meantime, patience is needed with the weeds. Jesus may have been warning against a kind of religious zeal that is too eager to identify weeds, what is considered worthless, and to separate it out from wheat, what is considered good. Saint Paul showed some of this kind of religious zeal before he encountered Christ on the road to Damascus. He saw the followers of Jesus as weeds in the field of Judaism; they had to be identified and rooted out. He was blind to the presence of God among them. Sometimes, there is no mistaking evil and evil people. However, we can also get it terrible wrong and misjudge others. There are times when we may need to live with the weaknesses of others for the sake of their great strengths. We are all a mixture of wheat and weed. The Lord’s good work is ongoing in our lives, and yet it is always hindered by the presence of sin. Only beyond this earthly life will we be fully conformed to image of God’s Son. In the meantime, we need a certain amount of patience with ourselves and others, while seeking to grow more fully into the person of Christ and helping each other to do so.

And/Or

(v) Saturday, Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time

This morning we celebrate the first holy communion of Harriet. We are all delighted to share this special day with her. I made my own first holy communion in Saint Peter’s Church, Phibsboro, because I went to St. Peter’s National School which is very close to that lovely church. The first reading today is the reading we would usually have for the First Holy Communion Mass. It is the earliest account of the last supper that has come down to us, from Saint Paul. At that supper, Jesus gave himself, his body and blood, under the form of bread and wine, to his disciples. On the night before he died, he gave them the most precious gift he could give them, the gift of himself. At that supper, Jesus also told his disciples to ‘do this in memory of me’. In every generation, his disciples were to repeat what Jesus said and did at the last supper, so that he could continue to give himself to his followers as Bread of Life. This morning, for the first time, Jesus is giving himself to Harriet as Bread of Life. Just as parents brought their children to Jesus, according to the gospels, Harriet’s parents and grandparents have been bringing Harriet to Jesus since she was born. The first significant moment when they brought her to Jesus was on the day of her baptism. When they taught her to pray, when they brought her to the church for Mass or just to visit, they were bringing her to Jesus. In the language of today’s gospel reading, they have been sowing the good seed of the faith in her life. Because, Harriet has been brought to Jesus in all these ways, Jesus was been meeting with her, blessing her with his presence. This morning, Jesus is meeting with Harriet in a very special way. He is blessing her in a way he has never blessed her before. He is coming to her in a very personal way as the Bread of Life. He wants to come close to her, so that she can come close to him. Her relationship, her friendship, with Jesus will deepen because of what is happening today. Harriet’s first holy communion reminds us of how precious the gift of the Eucharist is for all of us. We have all received the Lord in Holy Communion many times, but we can treasure each time we receive Jesus as the Bread of Life, as if it was our first time. Harriet, this morning, you are helping us to appreciate the gift of Jesus, the Bread of Life, that we have all been given. On this special day in your life, we will be praying for you in a special way.

Fr. Martin Hogan.

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protectmartinblackwood · 4 years ago

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It is Projecting Time so tonight I’m thinking about Martin, having to grow up too fast in order to take care of his mother and himself, and not getting to do a lot of the typical adolescent/young adult experimentation and self discovery.

Not getting to have phases or be carefree and a little rebellious and do questionable shit to his hair and clothes and not care that his mum hates it. Always having to be perfect. Not even having the time to be otherwise.

Martin, years later, an independent Proper Adult and finally starting to realize it a little! He always thought piercings looked cool, but his mum disapproved of them and he couldn’t afford it (or the risk of having to pay for medical care if they got infected). So after months of back and forth, he buys himself some clip-ons just to try it out. He meticulously checks and triple checks the institute policy on hair colors before assaulting his hair with bleach and blue box dye in his bathroom. It looks horrible. Pink looks better though and he keeps it for 10 months. He scours thrift shops for waistcoats or leather jackets or corduroy pants or giant sunglasses or anything that fits whatever look he’s trying out at the time. Buying mismatched prints for his walls and getting the ugliest fucking couch because it made him smile and splattering paint all over his kitchen table when he was having an art phase. Not quite having settled on a style or what actually works or what he wants but it’s just so freeing. Just to take those small things back for himself.

Not really going anywhere with this, just wanted to think about Martin getting to do things because he just fucking wants to and feeling great about it.

#this is 1000% projection #because i just bought some clip on lip piercings because life is short #and i relate VERY HARD to martin and how he grew up #and i know how it can cause you to miss out on a huge chunk of common milestones and also just. fun lol #not to mention growing up queer and how that can set you back if you're not out/don't realize it til later in life #i didn't get to start being myself til i was 30 and i'm putting that on mr blackwood tonight

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solarscholarsofmagick · 4 years ago

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Saturn in Aquarius: 2020-2023

Beginning on March 21, Saturn entered the revolutionary sign of Aquarius for a brief month and a half preview and will retrograde back into Capricorn until the end of September. On December 17, it will re-enter Aquarius until March of 2023. Saturn is known as the planet of limitations, boundaries, responsibilities and hard lessons, and up until now has been making its way through the restrictive and authoritarian sign of Capricorn since the beginning of 2018. Though Saturn is the ruler of earthy Capricorn and identifies well with that controlling energy, it doesn’t always do its best work in this sign. Traditionally, Saturn also rules the airy free-flowing sign of Aquarius and tends to be very comfortable in this sign, despite how different they may seem. When Saturn enters this humanitarian sign, it evolves into a higher version of itself, capable of bringing much needed equality and change into the world. How do we know this? Well, let’s take a look at the last few Saturn transits through Aquarius – from 1991 to 1994, and before that, from 1962 to 1964.

Let’s begin with Saturn’s transit through futuristic Aquarius back in 1962. Right off the bat, as Saturn entered the sign, the first automated (unmanned) subway train in New York City began running. Aquarius rules technology and automation, so this stood out to me as a very modern Aquarian development already. Also in 1962, Spacewar! was developed and released as the first computer game, featuring two spaceships fighting it out. Each spaceship was controlled by a player, meaning it was not only the first computer game, but also the first multi-player game for computers. Fitting, as Aquarius rules groups as well as spaceships and technology.

In the early 1990s, there were also some major technological advancements, specifically related to the internet and computers. In 1991, at the beginning of Saturn’s transit through Aquarius, Apple released the PowerBook, the first modern laptop computer, which was a huge development in the computer world and has influenced our modern computers significantly in their portability and design. The WorldWide Web was technically invented in 1989, while Saturn was transiting Capricorn, and it was exclusively meant for information-sharing between scientists in institutions around the world at that time. However, in April of 1993, after Saturn had entered Aquarius, CERN made the “www” software public, accessible to anyone with a computer. This is significant because Aquarius represents freedom and equality, and though it was still mainly the upper class that could afford computers at the time, this movement away from intellectual elitism essentially opened the internet up for free public use like we have today. In 1992, ViolaWWW was released, and was the first web browser to become popularized by users. It was also the recommended browser by CERN until it was replaced by Mosaic in 1993, the first web browser to display images with text rather than in a new window.

In the upcoming transit of Saturn through Aquarius, we can expect to see even more advanced technology developments. Many people are expecting Artificial Intelligence to really take off in the coming years, as well as 5G technology and space travel on a grander scale. Smart devices and appliances are becoming more readily available and more advanced.

The future of technology was on the minds of many in the early 1960s, reflected in ABC’s first color animated TV series, The Jetsons, premiering in September of 1962. Not only does Aquarius rule color television and cartoons, but the futuristic utopian vision held by The Jetsons is also very Aquarian in nature. Television also welcomed the eccentric and beloved Addams family in 1964 with ABC’s premiere of The Addams Family. This television classic questioned social norms of the time, specifically the values of the traditional mid-century American family, which were quite conservative at the time. This series became a symbol of the counterculture in television, a typically Aquarian concept. Another incredibly popular futuristic TV show that technically started during Saturn’s transit through Aquarius, Star Trek began filming in November of 1964, during the last couple months of Saturn’s journey through this sign. Star Trek is also notable for this transit due to the fact that it was one of the first television shows to give women, especially black women, prominent and respected roles. The character Lt. Uhura, the ship’s communications officer, was played by Nichelle Nichols, a black actress. At that time, black women typically only appeared in television as servants and maids, so this was a revolutionary change not only in television but in the civil rights movement as well. In fact, when Nichelle Nichols considered quitting the show to pursue a career on Broadway, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. met with Nichelle, convincing her to stay on the show as a part of history.

Television in the early 1990s during Saturn’s next transit through Aquarius was just as influential on culture as the television of the early 1960s. One of the first TV shows that comes to mind when I think of the 90s in television is the classic sitcom Friends. Though this show technically didn’t air until Saturn had moved into Pisces in 1994, the concept of the show resonates very closely with Aquarian themes. For one, the name “Friends” is representative of Aquarius, the sign of friendship and camaraderie. David Crane and Marta Kauffman, the show’s creators, began developing Friends in late 1993 under the early title of Insomnia Cafe, as Saturn made its way through the last 10 degrees of Aquarius. Though it initially had mixed reviews, Friends grew to become one of the most popular and beloved television shows of its time. Another well-loved show of the early 90s, though aimed more towards a younger audience, Bill Nye the Science Guy first aired in 1993, and embraced the forward-thinking Aquarian scientist archetype. Science in general is ruled by Aquarius, sign of innovation and discovery, and this show was designed to teach children about the realities of science and observation. One TV show I thought I should mention here as well is The Real World, which first aired on MTV in 1992, and is credited as being the birth of the “reality TV” genre of television, though it was edited quite often in favor of certain situations and reactions that didn’t quite reflect reality. It received a lot of criticism as well for not ever casting an Asian man in nearly 30 years on television. Reality TV is also very much a Saturn in Aquarius concept, as Saturn rules realism, and Aquarius rules television in general.

Aquarius is also the ruler of cartoons, as I touched on earlier, so it’s only fitting that I discuss a few cartoons of the early 90s. The trend of “cartoons for adults” was beginning to take off around this time, after The Simpsons paved the way in 1989 with its adult humor and hidden messages about adult life. One of the more “mature” cartoons that comes to mind when thinking of Saturn’s transit through Aquarius in the early 1990s is The Ren & Stimpy Show. This show first aired in 1991, and was quite grotesque in its animation style, featuring detailed animated close-ups with which other shows later followed suit. It was especially adored among college students due to its bizarre animation style and dark yet quirky humor. Another “adult cartoon” that began while Saturn was making its way through Aquarius is Beavis and Butt-Head, which first aired in 1993. This cartoon had mixed reviews and stirred up a lot of controversy with its seemingly idiotic social criticism, but became a staple of early 90s adult television nonetheless. The social criticism in this show is representative of Saturn in Aquarius as well, as Saturn portrays a harsh, critical nature, and Aquarius is a sign of society and social groups. Rocko’s Modern Life was yet another cartoon series that was aimed for young adults rather than children, and achieved moderate success after its initial release in 1993. This show was known for highlighting adult situations through cartoon animation- combining the adult responsibilities and themes of Saturn with the off-beat cartoony Aquarian personality. One last cartoon I’d like to mention in this segment of adult cartoons is Animaniacs, which first aired in 1993, and quickly became a hit with both children under age 11 and adults over 25. The large following among adults even led to one of the earliest Internet fandom cultures, another Aquarian concept.

Television in the coming years will likely circle around again to some of these rebellious Aquarian ideas, and it’s likely that TV will become even more entwined with the Internet over the next few years, as online streaming is more common these days than watching cable TV.

Saturn’s movement through Aquarius was a big part of the civil rights movement of the early 60s as well. The sign of Aquarius is a sign of freedom, equal human rights, and disrupting the status quo, which essentially were a few of the main goals of the movement. In fact, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had a 10th house Aquarius Mercury, which is why we remember him best for his “I have a dream” speech, which he delivered August 28, 1963 in Washington D.C. for the 200,000+ people who gathered in front of the Lincoln Memorial for the March on Washington. During the time he was writing and revising this speech, Saturn was transiting his Mercury in Aquarius as well. Later in 1963, on October 22, roughly 200,000 students stayed out of school in Chicago to protest segregation of African-American students in schools. This was a major peak of an ongoing battle to desegregate schools across America, again acting out the Aquarian values of equality and social justice.

In the early 1990s, this theme re-emerged through the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. A video went public in 1991 of five white Los Angeles police officers severely beating Mr. Rodney King after pulling him over for speeding. The riots began on April 29, 1992 after a trial jury acquitted four of the officers, enraging thousands of Southern Californians who took to the streets in anger. By the end of the riots, in early May, sixty-three people had been killed and thousands more were injured or had been arrested. The 1992 Rodney King riots went on to inspire the folk song “Like a King” from Ben Harper’s debut 1994 album Welcome to the Cruel World, which was released just after Saturn transited into Pisces; therefore, the songs were written and recorded while Saturn was in Aquarius.

In the coming transit of Saturn through Aquarius, we can expect to see another revolutionary movement, particularly watching the Black Lives Matter movement, because the hashtag was born while Saturn was in Scorpio, meaning Saturn in Aquarius will be coming up on a Saturn square for the birth chart of the movement.

Furthermore in music, there were a few major developments in the early 1960s while Saturn was in Aquarius that stood out to me. First, in the early to mid 60s, Joan Baez was beginning to make a name for herself in folk music during the American folk revival. Then in 1962, Peter, Paul & Mary released their debut album, which reached #1 on the US album charts. During the same year, Bob Dylan released his self-titled debut album of cover songs, and later went on to release his first original album The Times They Are a-Changin’ in 1964, towards the end of Saturn’s journey through Aquarius. These politically-charged folk artists all peaked with the folk revival during Saturn’s transit through Aquarius, which makes sense, as folk music is Aquarian in its nature, typically discussing issues of politics, inequality and other “radical” ideas of change. In fact, these artists also all performed “We Shall Overcome” at Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s March on Washington in 1963.

Another emerging group that stood out to me from this Aquarian transit was The Beatles. This incredibly successful rock group released their first couple of songs, “Please Please Me” and “Ask Me Why,” in January of 1963. By the next month, their single “Please Please Me” was topping the British rock charts. The Beatles released their debut studio album, Please Please Me, in March 1963, and by May had landed on the top of the UK album charts, staying there for 30 weeks, only to be replaced by their second studio album, With The Beatles. By October of 1963, the media began using the term “Beatlemania” to describe the frenzied behavior exhibited by Beatles fans across the globe. Many of their live performances were accompanied by the sounds of screaming fans and general hysteria. Fanatics, by the way, are also ruled by Aquarius. In February of 1964, The Beatles made their first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, drawing a record 73.7 million viewers. The crazed audience clearly depicts the “Beatlemania” phenomenon in full swing. But how do The Beatles relate to Saturn’s transit through Aquarius? First off, The Beatles were one of the first mainstream groups to market to the younger generation of teenagers rather than to their parents. This was a big shift in the music industry, as typically it was the older audience with all the spending power, whereas now, young teenage girls were a powerful force in the music market. Though their earlier songs avoided heavier social topics, it became obvious later in their career that The Beatles were a huge part of the birth of counterculture and anti-establishment ideas. In 1964, when the band was informed that a venue they were scheduled to perform at in Florida in the US was segregated, they refused to play unless the audience was integrated. Many more conservative countries refused to allow The Beatles to perform at all, in fear that their progressive counterculture ideas would “infect” their younger population. Even the United States attempted to ban all British acts in 1965, as they saw their emerging rock ‘n’ roll culture as “dangerous” to the youth of the nation. The Beatles were also highly progressive in their music style, and incorporated many new and unusual recording techniques into their albums. This ongoing theme of progressive thinking and “peace and love” apparent in the music of The Beatles is very in line with the nature of Aquarius.

Later, in the early 1990s, grunge bands were the new emerging music trend. A number of grunge rock bands all released major hit albums around the same time: right around Saturn’s transit through rebellious Aquarius. In 1991, Pearl Jam released their debut album Ten, followed by Nirvana releasing their second album Nevermind, and then Soundgarden with Badmotorfinger– all within a span of two months! All three albums were incredibly successful, and resonated strongly with the Aquarian counterculture and anti-establishment ideas brought out by the earlier generation in the early 1960s. Then in 1992, Alice in Chains released their second studio album, Dirt, which is considered by many to be their best work. Also released in 1992, Stone Temple Pilots debuted with their first studio album, Core, which received mixed reviews, though it went on to win a Grammy in 1994 for Best Hard Rock Performance. Nirvana received a lot of attention and success in the early 90s as well, and Kurt Cobain was dubbed “the voice of a generation” by many. Similar to The Beatles influence on counterculture, Kurt Cobain’s darker lyrical content touched many listeners’ hearts on a deeper level than the earlier hair metal had been able to.

In the next few years in music, we’re likely to see younger emerging artists, similar to Billie Eilish, who has an Aquarius Moon, taking over the scene with some revolutionary new ideas and social commentary in their lyrics.

Though Aquarius is a masculine sign, I’ve also noticed a pattern with emerging feminist movements during these transits due to the focus on equal human rights. The second wave of feminism began picking up speed around 1963, when two major works of feminist writing were published: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath and The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan. Both works were largely critical of the typical role of a female as a domestic housekeeper/mother figure in 1960s society. These works encouraged women to pursue careers that they felt passionately about for the first time. Also in 1963, journalist Gloria Steinem became a prominent figure in feminist culture after going undercover as a Playboy Bunny and revealing the poor treatment and underpayment of the waitresses at the Playboy Club.

In the early 1990s, during Saturn’s next transit through Aquarius, the third wave of feminism began to emerge. While second-wave feminism dealt primarily with issues surrounding equal opportunities for [predominantly white] women in the workplace, this third wave of feminism dealt with issues regarding intersectional feminism, violence against women and reproductive/sexual freedom. A trend of reclaiming “derogatory” female terms (for example: bitch, slut, whore) began largely with the Riot grrrl movement in punk music, popularized by female-constructed bands like Bikini Kill and Bratmobile, as a way of expressing feminine identity on their own terms.

Feminine power is already on the rise again, with Uranus having moved into feminine Taurus a couple years ago and still having several more years to go on that transit. Women in power will do great things with that power, and more women will come to be in power over the next few years with Saturn in this sign. Whether it be individual political power, or power in numbers, women around the world will come together and rise to power from now until 2023. Another trend I expect to see play out while Saturn transits Aquarius these next few years as well is that of gender revolution. With the gender roles of the past melting away, a revolution is roaring around the corner, and gender queer/LGBTQ+ identifying people will likely score a few big victories in the upcoming Aquarian transit.

Another theme I noticed through Saturn’s transit of Aquarius in the early 1960s was a theme of national independence and freedom. In August of 1962, the colony of Jamaica became independent, freeing Jamaicans from the United Kingdom after 300 years of British rule. In October that same year, Uganda also became independent from the UK. Then, in 1963, Kenya declared independence from the UK as well. Meanwhile, the Dominican Republic and Zanzibar both experienced major revolutions during this time frame in search of freedom. This trend continued in the early 90s, with many countries, including Lithuania, Ukraine, Latvia and Estonia, all declaring their independence from the USSR in 1991.

It’s likely that we will see many more uprisings and movements towards independence, including the United States’ Pluto return in 2022/2023, which is expected to be a revolutionary moment for the history of the country.

These are the kinds of themes we are likely to see re-emerging until March 2023, while Saturn roams through free-spirited Aquarius. Technological innovations are going to be increasingly involved with our lives, as the internet of things develops further. Television will trend towards witty humor and social criticism, as it did the previous few times Saturn was in Aquarius. Civil rights movements will be center-stage, writing more groundbreaking history into our textbooks, while the future leans towards figures who are genderqueer, females, diverse, and/or of color, rather than in favor of the cis-gender/heterosexual white male. Mainstream music will take on its own social commentary within the industry. Independence of the individual as well as the nation will be stressed in the coming years. Saturn feels confident in this sign, and we should too, moving forward into Saturn’s “Age of Aquarius” with hope for a better future.

#witchblr #witch #witchcraft #witches of tumblr #pagan #paganism #pagans of tumblr #wiccablr #wicca #wiccan #wiccans of tumblr #divination #astrology

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trainthief · 5 years ago

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hey i'm one of those aforementioned "only-heard-blake-shelton" people - do you have any recs for better country music? i like finding new music but country is hard cause i don't really know where to start

I think the best way to explore any genre is to abandon the feeling that you’re obligated to develop an academic-level base of knowledge in the different foundations and aspects of it. If that’s something that actually interests you then by all means go for it, but despite how pretentious and rude people can get about music, it is at its heart just a form of expression - and while knowing which specific sounds might have influenced others can enhance the listening experience for some people, it’s not like there’s a prerequisite course load you need to take before you can start telling people you like country music at parties.

Anyway, that point aside, here’s some basics: country itself is a really broad concept, and was initially defined more by its ideology and source than any specific structural musical qualities that it tended toward (although its creation was most heavily influenced by Irish, Mexican, and African musical traditions). The common use of instruments like guitars, banjos, and fiddles is more to do with the ease of accessibility and portability for poorer Americans of the late 1800s, who - especially in the West - tended to be at least somewhat nomadic. Thematically speaking, it was most often centered around the experiences of blue-collar workers, including but not limited to cowboys. Subsequently, it has suffered under the combined efforts of corporations and politicians to market a parody of rural America’s own culture right back at them, and that’s why - especially if you’re only in your 20’s or younger - it’s very possible your knowledge of it is defined by commercialized Bro Country (which in my opinion is almost always antithetical to the actual spirit of country music itself, and also from a musical perspective tends to be uninteresting bullshit).

As far as subgenres go, the ideas quickly become so vague that it’s really up to the listener to decide how they want to categorize their music. Region and era can influence sound quite a bit, so that’s one way. Subject matter is another. Actual musical structure is a further one. I’m not going to bother and try to give you a comprehensive idea of all the options, because that’s impossible to do in anything shorter than an essay. Instead I’ll just fill you in on some of my favorites, and some song suggestions to go with them:

Country Music You’ve Been Listening to This Whole Time Without Knowing It: this is an easy one to start with. Lots of folk music is also country music, whether you were aware of it or not. James Taylor, John Prine, John Denver, Bob Dylan…. You’ve been here this whole time.

Outlaw Country: Tends to be either dark or mournful, but regardless it’s dramatic and fun. Usually framed around some fictional crime the singer has committed, which they have either been sentenced for or are on the run from. Good examples are Kate McCannon by Colter Wall, Mama Tried by Merle Haggard, Late July by Shakey Graves, Gallows Pole by Willie Watson, and Hell’s Canyon by Lost Dog Street Band

Spirituals: I’m definitely not going to tell you how to feel about religion itself - but given that music has been such a deeply rooted part of spiritual expression for as long as we’ve recorded history, and has very often evolved in tandem with or in response to religious movements, I think you’re really cutting yourself off from some good tunes if you try to ignore it entirely. Johnny Cash’s later stuff, especially, has the same dark overtones of his earlier Outlaw music but with the addition of gospel stylings and a religious severity that comes together in a way that’s honestly just straight up sexy to listen to. Ain’t No Grave and Redemption Day are probably the best two examples of this. On the other side, there’s the simplistic and heartfelt kind of spiritual country found in stuff like Hank Williams’ I Saw the Light, or I’ll Fly Away as performed by Gillian Welch, which I find really moving.

Honky Tonk: On the subject of Hank Williams, honky tonk is really fun music, and I deeply resent the fact that it’s been incorporated into the classist caricature of rural stupidity. At its heart, honky tonk was just designed to be a good time, and the vocal techniques it employs are actually really difficult to master, so it deserves a lot more respect. Hank Williams, in particular, also tends to use it to get right at the heart of subjects I really enjoy (although don’t confuse him with his son Hank Williams Jr, who writes Bro Country and unfortunately seems to be a terrible person). Anyway, Mind Your Own Business is one of his (and one of my favorite personal anthems), and Wealth Won’t Save Your Soul is a powerful one too. Regarding more modern honky tonk, my favorite up-and-coming musician is named Nick Shoulders, and I’d recommend his songs Rather Low and Snakes and Waterfalls.

Nice Comfortable Country Music Sung By Ladies: this is definitely a genre specific to just me, but it’s a type of music I grew up listening to a lot as a kid and I really love it. Like the title says, it’s just country songs by various very talented women who make you feel like you’re warm and at home. I Have a Need for Solitude by the great Mary Chapin Carpenter, Across the Great Divide by Nanci Griffith, Traveling Alone by Tift Merritt, Angel from Montgomery by Bonnie Raitt, Hammer and a Nail by The Indigo Girls

Poor Boy Blues: again, not a definitive stylistic subgenre so much as it is an opportunity to show off a few different songs of a few different styles that all follow a common and relatable theme, specifically one that is important to the overall genre itself. Dead End Street by Blake Mills, Crop Comes In by Chatham County Line, Thirteen Silver Dollars by Colter Wall, My Rifle My Pony and Me by Dean Martin, Cowpoke by Dave Stamey, Automobile by KALEO

Love And Heartbreak: have you really lived if you haven’t rocked out to Cowboy Take Me Away by the Dixie Chicks? No, you haven’t. You’ll also be happy to hear that I recall a poll that listed Cowboy Take Me Away as being the number one song every cowboy will sing along to on full blast whenever he’s alone. Anyway, there’s also Buddy by Willie Nelson, Crossing Muddy Waters by John Hiatt, Morning by Jim Ed Brown, Every Time I Hear That Song by Brandi Carlile, Gentle on My Mind by Glen Campbell, Kathleen by Townes Van Zandt.

Experimental: if you’d like to get a little weird with it, I’d recommend The Gold is Deep by The Dead Tongues (which uses some really ambient reverb and a small church organ for a more psychedelic sound), or Familiarity by The Punch Brothers (which compositionally borrows a lot from modern classical chamber music with its rhythmic systems and pacing).

There’s lots more we could get into here, like bluegrass, slow dancing music, spaghetti western soundtracks, and the fact that not all country pop-rock is bad, but I’ll stop myself here…. If you’re looking for a more general source for a lot of country all at once, here’s my favorite of my country playlists. Hope that was helpful!

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ferbmanofactionfletcher · 3 years ago

Text

Interview Process || The Flynn-Fletcher’s

Candace, Phineas, and Ferb sit down to interview Andrea on why she should get the chance to fill the roll she came to town for.

[TW: bad parenting, past trauma related to bad parenting]

@oh-phineas @i-want-candy

FERB

A time and place had been agreed upon for the interview of Andrea Martin. (Their house, afternoon.)

Ferb had no idea how to go about it and proceeded to spend the time leading up to it researching the interview process from the interviewer’s perspective. There were so many techniques, ranging from that of an employer looking to learn about a person that best suited a job to that of a screenwriter looking for research on a subject. He didn’t know which one to employ here since— well he didn’t know what exactly they were interviewing her for. What position was she wanting to take up?

A mother? She already had kids that she had a direct relationship to. And was he supposed to meet them? His half siblings? Or her husband? His step-father? What about—?

And he mostly got overwhelmed when he thought about it as one question would branch off into an infinite tree diagram. Though to anyone looking at him, he still looked like Ferb always did. Neutral and steady.

There were questions he had prepared but overall, didn’t know what to expect. But, that was the catch when it came to all people— he could never anticipate the outcome.

He sat at the kitchen table with Phineas and Candace, opposite to Andrea, who looked to be happily sipping tea. His eyes shifted to the Flynn’s, unsure if he was supposed to say something first since— well she was only here because of him. But they were so much better at speaking.

Andrea cleared her throat, leaning forward against the table top. “So! Where should we start?”

PHINEAS

Phineas didn’t really do as much research. His idea of an “interview” was mostly based on podcasts about tech startups and his own extremely limited experience. But he wanted to give Andrea hard questions (and yes, this was partially a result of his own humiliation at his Chapter Three interview). Part of it was a power trip, sure, but the other part was his genuine desire to protect Ferb. If this lady really cared about him, she would have to fight to be a part of his life.

“I’ll start us off,” Phineas announced, glancing at Ferb and at Candace. He signed as he spoke and translated for Andrea-- he didn’t want Ferb to miss any of this. It was his decision, at the end of the day. Phineas fixed Andrea with an extremely serious expression. “How many pennies, stacked one on top of the other, would equal the height of the Empire State Building?”

CANDACE:

Candace didn’t see the point of this. In fact, she thought it was incredibly stupid. There was nothing that Andrea could say that would convince Candace that she was truly back. Parents that left always left. They weren’t parents. They were sperm and egg donors. Nothing more. If only she could make Ferb see that.

Even if he did, she doubted that he would do the right thing and push Andrea away. He was too nice for that, too much of a pushover.

Well, if Candace was forced to be his big sister, this was how she would do it. By protecting him from a woman he didn’t even remember. So, even though she thought this whole thing was stupid and pointless, she was going to be here. For every step of it. And she’d expose Andrea for being just as flighty as she was before. People like her didn’t change. She’d make sure that Ferb understood that when all this was said and done.

She sat slightly slumped in her chair, arms crossed, glaring at Andrea. Phineas’ question wasn’t going to get them anywhere but at least it’d tell her if Andrea was willing to play along. Maybe Phineas would just wear her down by being obnoxious. That would be ideal, since at the very least, Candace knew Ferb would stick up for Phineas.

Candace didn’t say anything. She just watched.

FERB

Ferb didn’t really know where Phineas was going with that one. It seemed a little out of left field if they were supposed to be getting to know who she was. But he didn’t protest or shoot him a funny look, he trusted Phineas to know what he was doing— Ferb just blinked and turned to see what Ms. Martin would have to say while he worked it out for himself in his head.

(The height of the Empire State building [1,454ft, which converted to 443,179.2 mm] divided by the thickness of an average American penny [1.52mm] = 291,565.2632 or, rounding up since you couldn’t very well slice the penny, 291,566 pennies.)

At first Andrea could only stare, brow furrowed, at the question. She had prepared for numerous things to be asked of her. About her life, about why she had left, about why she hadn’t come back, about her other children, about her and Lawrence’s past relationship— but she had never expected she would have to do maths.

“The Empire State Building.” She smiled as she repeated him. It had still been such a surprise that Lawrence of all people had found someone to marry in America. Then she hummed, lips pressed together trying to think how she was even supposed to begin.

After a moment she simply shrugged, figuring it wasn’t worth answering something so silly. Surely it was some sort of joke Phineas wanted in order to break the ice? Andrea laughed a little before providing her answer. “I’m afraid I’ve no idea. I don’t even know how tall the Empire State Building is. I’m sorry.” She glanced between the three of them. “How many is it then?”

PHINEAS

Phineas smiled triumphantly, and scribbled down a few notes that didn’t actually mean anything but just to show Andrea he was taking notes. That he had opinions on that answer. He was going to turn it over to Candace for the next question, but Phineas couldn’t help it. He had to interject with his explanation.

“So, that question doesn’t actually have a correct answer-- well, it would, maybe, if I were interviewing you for an engineering job, but even then, there would probably be more efficient ways to test your math skills than a word problem about pennies and the Empire State Building. That was actually a test to see what kind of problem-solver you are. Whether you would even make an attempt, you know? And if you did, would you go at it from a mathematical perspective, or a more practical perspective? Or maybe you would have a question about the problem, like do the laws of physics apply here, and if not, could I stack the pennies length-wise instead of width-wise?” Phineas explained, a superior smile on his face as he signed the words. “So if you want to make another try, you can, but I think I got what I needed from that question.”

He glanced at Candace. “Did you want to go next?”

CANDACE: Not that Candace would admit it out loud, but she was actually kind of impressed with Phineas’ logic about the question. She wondered what weirdo interview site he’d read that on. Probably the hiring for Google or something. It sounded like a question they would ask you if you wanted to work at Google.

And she was unimpressed with Andrea’s answer.

At least come up with something, yeah? Ask a question? Don’t just give up. It showed a weak sort of character, if you asked Candace. The kind of character that would run out on her son at first opportunity. And would do it again without a second thought.

When Phineas passed the baton to her, Candace shrugged a little. “Sure, I guess.”

Candace didn’t know what she wanted to ask. She hadn’t come into this wanting to ask anything. Only looking for the satisfaction of Andrea failing. But, now that the opportunity presented itself: yeah, Candace had a question.

“Why now? Why are you back now? You never said. And I don’t want some bullshit answer. There has got to be a real reason.”

FERB

In all his research, Ferb hadn’t come across Phineas’ question, which made him wonder if his research had been thorough enough. Then again, that was why Candace and Phineas were here. To fill in the gaps that Ferb couldn’t.

It also made him uncomfortable once he realized what Ms. Martin’s answer reflected about herself. He couldn’t even muster up the courage to glance her way, knowing the second hand embarrassment would eat him alive if he did. This only grew as he watched Candace’s words popped up along his phone screen.

Andrea let out a little oh, falling back into her seat at the explanation. She folded her hands, one on top of the other, her confidence level having decreased significantly— and after only the first question.

As Phineas asked his sister if she wished to contribute Andrea picked her head back up, pressing a smile back to her features. Ah, now this she had been prepared for. Even if the way it was said was rather vulgar. That was fine. Even needed.

“I know it seems a little out of the blue. Believe me, it was for me, too. But— like I had said, I just couldn’t stay away any longer. There was no more reasons I could come up with or excuses that I could push in front of me to blame. I was watching my other children and I— I don’t know but I finally came to my senses. I realized Ferb was going to be a young man soon enough and I knew I didn’t want to miss any more of his life than I already had.” She looked over to Ferb now but when his head remained down, eyes focused on his phone’s screen Andrea returned her attention back to Candace. “I don’t know quite what you mean by the real reason. If it’s finances you think I’m after, I’d obviously be in the wrong place. The house was never in my name, there’s no secret will or treasure said to be buried in the floorboards that’s somehow come to light or whatever else. The only thing here is my son. That’s it, plain and simple.”

PHINEAS

Phineas liked to pride himself on being scientific and objective with these kinds of things. Logical. Sure, he was an emotional person and emotions often got in the way of good choices, but not with science. And that was what this kind of was, right? A science experiment?

Hypothesis: Andrea couldn’t possibly deserve Ferb.

Conclusion: ...Unclear.

It was getting harder for Phineas to separate his own baggage from this. Because, really, how many times had he imagined this exact scenario for himself? Fred showing up on the Flynns’ doorstep in Danville, begging for forgiveness, saying that he had made a mistake and that he didn’t want to miss another moment of his kids’ lives. Not so much recently, because Phineas had a new life and a new family and he barely thought about Fred anymore. But when he was in middle school? That had been a different time.

“What are you going to do to make it up?” Phineas interjected, his tone different now. Less smarmy, a little more genuine. A hint of a challenge in his tone, but a little bit of fear as well. Hopefully Candace wouldn’t catch on to what was going on here. “If you’re gonna walk out on your kid with no explanation, the least you can do is prove you’re sorry.”

FERB

“I’m not sure that there is any one thing I can do to make it up,” Andrea admitted with a small shrug. (Especially when the one she was even here for wouldn’t spare her a glance!) “Nor do I have any set plan in mind. That’s not really how you gain someone’s trust, is it? You can’t manufacture that. All I can do is make good on my word— which is that I’m here now and I will be for as long as I am welcomed. And even if it takes til the end of my life to repair the damage I have done and to form any sort of relationship with my son, then I’ll do it.”

This all seemed rather dramatic to Ferb.

Phineas’ and Candace’s body language read defensive while Ms. Martin was still one giant mystery, but she did seem tense. Immediately he wished he could call the whole thing off. Maybe he could fake an illness or something, say he got a text about some emergency— of course that wouldn’t work considering the only people who would contact him about that were all somewhere in the house.

He wasn’t so selfish to think that all of this was about him. The Flynn’s had lost a parent, one they had actually known personally, and he could guess this was poking at old, but still painful, wounds. But he was so selfish to think that none of this would be happening if it weren’t for him, and it was rather pointless to do so.

CANDACE:

No, it wasn’t about Ferb.

Not to Candace. She wasn’t mature enough to separate her own wound from Ferb’s. She projected her own feelings onto him, which was easy to do. He was quiet and reserved. She couldn’t read him, but she didn’t need to. She assumed she knew exactly how he was feeling, because it was how she felt:

Confused. Angry. Hurt. Her whole heart felt like a bruise. A lot of the time, it was easy to ignore Fred’s absence. It had been years and Candace didn’t need him anyway. She did just fine on her own. But, now that Andrea was here with her watery eyes and half-baked promises, Candace’s missing for her father had opened up like a black hole in her chest, sucking everything else into it.

It made her feel more protective of Ferb than any previous time. He was so soft. Such a pushover. He’d let Andrea back into his life even though she didn’t earn it and then get hurt when she inevitably left again. Candace felt like she had to protect him from this, the way she hadn’t been able to protect Phineas from the heartbreak of their father walking away.

“And what if he decides he doesn’t want a relationship? And that the damage you caused is irreversible?”

PHINEAS

Phineas glanced at Candace sharply. That was… an intense thing to say. And even if Phineas had come into this interview determined to drive Andrea away, he was starting to wonder if maybe he had judged her too harshly.

Because the truth was, Andrea was right. There wasn’t any one thing you could do to make something like this better. Phineas had never wanted Fred to come back with presents or stories or excuses. He just wanted a dad. Period. It didn’t matter, now, though, because he had Lawrence who was way better and would never disappear.

Sometimes he did wonder, though, what he would do. He and Ferb didn’t really talk about this stuff much.

“I mean, irreversible’s a strong word. Ferb isn’t damaged,” Phineas said quickly. “He’s, like, the most mature person I know. But I get what Candace is saying. It’s up to Ferb. I trust him.” He glanced at Ferb encouragingly. “Anything you wanna say, Ferb?”

FERB

Both Candace and Phineas were wrong.

Ferb was damaged— but it had not been because his mother had left. It was of his own doing. This was why he felt no anger toward the woman sitting on the other side of the table. Of course, it had hurt to have learned why she did not want him. It always hurt. It had hurt every time he had tried to communicate with someone at school or at the park or— anywhere, really, and they would ignore him. When his teachers would talk to Ms. Thompson instead of him despite it being his words she was translating. When his father would have to take over every conversation on his behalf at restaurants, stores, and just about everywhere else. It was why he avoided it now. The world. He had learned to know better than to inconvenience it with himself.

He watched Phineas’ question addressing him stare back at him from his phone and after a moment he lifted his head. It took him another to finally turn to find Ms. Martin’s eyes.

“I don’t want to deny you the opportunity you’re asking for but— you have other children. I fail to see what I could give you that they can’t.”

Andrea’s discomfort grew at the sound of her son’s voice. It was the first time hearing it. Even as a baby he had been rather quiet. She hadn’t expected it. Which was silly, considering, but still. It was off. Different. Made his lack of hearing all the more present to her. She tried not to let that show.

“Oh, darling, it isn’t about what you can give me! I’m supposed to be giving to you. And even if it were the other way around, you’re doing your part by just being you.”

There was a pause as Ferb had to read this over. She shifted in her seat. (Again, it grew.) “You don’t know me, though.”

“Right— that’s what I’m here to do!”

Pause. (Growing, growing, growing.)

“It won’t be worth it.”

Andrea’s smile fell. She blinked, brow furrowing as her eyes went to the other two sitting in front of her to make sure she had heard that correctly. “I’m— I’m sorry?”

“Objectively speaking, it won’t be worth it. Getting to know me. You live in another city where you live with your family and go to work. If you wished to see me you would need to travel which would cost you money and time you would otherwise be able to save. People would expect you to learn sign, which also takes up more time from your life. If you only wished to communicate through technology it would be a written relationship since you can’t call me, which would only take up storage space and, again, time. Either way you would have to contact my father, which he does not seem pleased with. People usually do not respond well to not being liked so your interactions will tax the both of you. And— I’m not worth all of that. You gain nothing from knowing me besides extra hardships which will only result in regret or resentment. Both of which are not healthy.”

CANDACE: Candace rolled her eyes at Phineas. She hadn’t meant that Ferb was like...broken or something, just emotionally damaged. Because having a shitty parent did that to you. Obviously. It broke your heart and your trust and made you feel like shit. It was damaging. End of story.

Listen to Ferb now! Clearly, he felt the same way.

It was hard to listen to because Candace had shit opinions of herself, but she had some redeeming qualities. And she would never admit to feeling them the way that Ferb did now. It was uncomfortable to say the least. It made Candace want to squirm.

So, she did what she usually did when she was uncomfortable: she turned it into something else. Anger. Anger at Andrea and any parent that thought just leaving a child was okay.

“See?” she said furiously. “That’s because of you. He thinks that way, because of you. He thinks he isn’t worth it because you left him. That’s fucked up and it isn’t something that is easily forgiven. You can sit here with smiles all you want, but what you did was horrible.”

She looked at Ferb then and she’d been signing this whole time...well, doing her best anyway. She still wasn’t totally good at it and she was too pissed. But, what she said now, she said very carefully and very deliberately.

“No one should make you feel like a transaction,” she told him, even if she had to spell out ‘transaction’ because she didn’t know the sign for it. “And it’s okay if you’re angry or upset. Just because she’s here, doesn’t mean you have to be polite.”

God, she wished Ferb had more of a backbone and would just tear into this bitch.

PHINEAS

Phineas, in theory, agreed with pretty much everything Candace was saying. Relationships didn’t work like that, the way Ferb was describing it: they were about love and reciprocity, and genuine care for other people. That was the way Phineas saw it, anyway. Sure, it was nice that Ferb could help Phineas when the projects got too technical and complicated for Phineas to do on his own, but Phineas that wasn’t why Phineas cared about him. It was because they were brothers now, and that was what brothers did. That simple.

But Candace’s tone annoyed him. Why did she know better than Ferb? She always acted like she was so much older and wiser, meanwhile, she was barely a year older than Phineas. She was right, but did she have to be so bossy about it? And even if what she did was kind of fucked-up, if Ferb did eventually want to give Andrea a second chance, what made it Candace’s business?

Phineas didn’t realize it, but he was maybe projecting a little too.

He had a lot of things to say, but it wouldn’t be professional to say them out loud, not in front of Andrea. So Phineas did the thing that was probably ruder— he took out his phone and texted the group chat with Candace and Ferb.

@Ferb that’s bullshit and u know it anyone would be lucky to get the opportunity to be in ur family and like obviously ur worth it

@Candace that being said can you chill with the psychoanalysis me and ferb r capable of making our own decisions

Satisfied, Phineas set his phone down and signed to Candace and Ferb, Check your phone, before turning his attention back to Andrea. “I think what we’re actually trying to ask is what you can bring to Ferb’s life, not the other way around. Let’s focus on that. And based on that, Ferb can make his own decision about whether it’s worth it to him.” Phineas shot Candace a look.

FERB

If Andrea hadn’t already folded under listening to Ferb talk, then she certainly would have upon Candace’s addition. She found she didn’t know what to say to any of that— and she thought she had prepared for the worst.

Ferb pondered over Candace’s words and concluded that she wasn’t really talking about him. He didn’t think that way because of Ms. Martin, he had always thought that way. His brain had made it easier with its ability to recall everything it had ever come into contact with. He also hadn’t said that he was worthless, just that he wasn’t worth spending time with. That was a fact, proven by many, many, many failed attempts to prove the opposite.

And he was upset that Ms. Martin was here, but he had taken to not showing his emotions out of self preservation. It wasn’t out of politeness, though, he did have those hardwired into him, too.

His eyes flickered down to his phone as Phineas’ texts came through. Phineas was obviously biased, but Ferb appreciated the kindness nonetheless.

This whole thing wasn’t out of a want for a mother or because he sought to gain anything from this— it just seemed like the fair thing to do. Ms. Martin had asked for a chance. Ferb did not want to deny her that, even if she had wronged him. It was the right thing to do.

Andrea cleared her throat after Phineas addressed her, nodding. “Of course! Yes, you’re right. I completely agree. I don’t mind traveling at all and I’m certain Lawrence and I can be civil to one another, so, please, you’ve nothing to worry about as far as logistics go.”

Ferb blinked and she was beginning to think that was a good thing rather than him responding. So far, he only replied with bad news.

“As for what I can offer, it’s only what anyone else could— myself. And while I know my past record doesn’t reflect that being a very good thing, but I want to be here. I want to know him— you. Ferb. To whatever effect that may be! And not because I feel like it’s my obligation to do so.” She smiled, trying to get away from all the discomfort of the past few minutes. “We can start with interests! What do you like?”

Again, Ferb blinked, then shrugged, unsure of how to answer that. It was too broad of a question. What did she mean, what did he like? As in food? Colours? Coding method? Time of day?

“Right.” She glanced to the Flynn’s. “You two know him better than I do. Is he in anything? Sports? Clubs?”

CANDACE:

Candace ignored her phone because she didn’t care what Phineas had to say. She was right. Everyone here knew it. Andrea didn’t deserve to come back into Ferb’s life. Admittedly, she didn’t know what would qualify as enough penitence to come back into Ferb’s life. She hadn’t ever thought about it. When Fred had left, that had been it. Candace had spent months, crying and waiting for him to come home. Calling his cell phone only to receive a dial tone.

She had held out hope until her birthday, but when he didn’t show up. Or call. Or even send a card, Candace knew that he was gone and she’d cut him out of her heart then. Of course, it was messier than she liked to think when she look back now, but what was done was done. Every missed birthday, graduation, milestone had only hardened her heart against him. Fred was a sperm donor. Not a dad. If he showed back up she’d—

See, she didn’t know, because she never thought about it.

Whatever Andrea was doing wasn’t it, though.

“This is stupid,” Candace declared, pushing back from her chair. “You aren’t even talking to him, himself!” Her hands flew erratically as she tried to sign but was too pissed off to do so very well.

“Whatever. I’m not dealing with this. If you want to “get to know” Ferb, fine, whatever. But count me out.” And with that, she stormed out of the kitchen, Agent P scrambling at her feet playfully.

PHINEAS

Phineas was annoyed. At everyone. Candace was being unreasonable, Andrea was being awkward, and Ferb was… well, Phineas figured he probably shouldn’t get to decide how Ferb should feel about his estranged mom showing up, but he wished Ferb would say something. Even if Phineas thought Candace needed to calm down, he did agree that it rubbed him the wrong way that Andrea was talking about Ferb instead of to him.

He watched Candace storm off and raised his eyebrows, shrugging apologetically.

“Sorry about her,” Phineas said. He glanced at Ferb, trying to see where he was coming from. “But she does have a point. You can’t just talk about people right in front of them. Anyway, we’ll be asking the questions.”

He smiled and folded his hands, satisfied with his own assertive attitude. “Describe what you would do if Ferb got detention.” Ohhh yeah. This was a trick question. Ferb never got detention.

FERB

Goodness, Andrea thought, but forgave the girl as soon as she left. It wasn’t her fault. That came from upbringing, clearly. And Candace hadn’t really been the person Andrea had been here for anyway.

“Oh, that’s alright. She’s fine, I understand.” She nodded to Phineas, folding her hands back over one another on top of the table.

Ferb, on the other hand, felt all the more guilty. He shouldn’t have said anything. He should have just sat there. He shouldn’t have invited her back. He shouldn’t have come down stairs at all the day she showed up. He shouldn’t have—. Well. That list could consist of an infinite amount of answers, or just one that would make everything else moot.

He didn’t look back at Phineas this time, too ashamed now to do anything but keep his eyes on his phone because surely Phineas would be angry with him, too. Yet he kept his anxieties from manifesting and despite the dread sitting in his stomach like a pit, he remained still and seated, even if he wanted to leave the table, too, to go find a hiding place that would last him for all eternity.

Andrea didn’t really have to think that hard about this question since she did have experience with figuring out punishments for her own children when getting phone calls from their schools! What she hesitated on was the fact that it was a child who was asking the question. Surely he would deduct points if she answered like a parent should. Or maybe he was trying to see if she would sugar coat it for the sake of trying to appeal to them?

Oh, she was just overthinking it. This was a child! “Well, depending on what he was in detention for, I would vary the consequences. He would have to apologize to whoever, if anyone, he had hurt, and then probably be grounded for some time, again, depending.”

PHINEAS

Phineas smirked. “Trick question. Ferb doesn’t get detention. The one time he did was because he covered my ass. So… nice try, but incorrect,” he said, a tone of superiority in his voice as he signed. He winked at Ferb.

Candace was gone and as much as Phineas wanted to milk this opportunity to be in charge, he figured there wasn’t much point in continuing to grill Andrea. Phineas didn’t hate her, after all. He was a little suspicious, but for the most part, she just seemed like a well-intentioned person who didn’t realize she was kind of in over her head. That was Phineas’s assessment anyway.

“Listen, I wouldn’t take Candace personally. She’s just… like that. I do agree that this is kind of out of nowhere, and I think you have a lot of making up for lost time to do, but the end of the day, it’s Ferb’s decision, not ours. Excuse us for a moment.”

He turned to Ferb and signed, Do you want to make a decision now, or sleep on it?

FERB

Andrea sat there a little shocked. He didn’t get detention? She blinked, jaw slack, as Phineas informed her. It wasn’t as if she had been expecting Ferb to be a troublemaker or anything, but never? On his own accord, anyway? Goodness. Even her other children had gotten punishments at school. A call home here or there for something. It was only natural.

She only gave a weak nod and smile to match as Phineas tried to apologize for his sister. Again, Andrea really paid no mind to Candace. She wasn’t the one she was here for and nor did she seem particularly close to Ferb in the way the boy sitting next to him was. Andrea sat back, left to twiddle her thumbs as the two of them began to speak in a language she couldn’t even begin to make out. (Which was more from a lack of not trying than anything else.)

Ferb thought over this question and could see no reason to prolong the inevitable. Ms. Martin had given her answers and she had still seemed like she wanted to know Ferb. For whatever reason. In his mind, it was only fair to give her a shot. She had apologized and said she would do more to make amends. There was really nothing else he could think to ask for.

Also, this was perhaps a chance for him to make up for his own failings. All those years he had spent trying to actively gain people’s friendship only to be ignored. Now, he was met with someone who had ignored him for years who was wanting to do the opposite. That had never happened before.

Now, he signed, both hands at his ribcage, palms to the ceiling, bobbing up and down twice. He then turned to Ms. Martin and spoke aloud. “Okay. If this is what you want.”

She nodded enthusiastically. “It is! Of course. Erm— oh here.” Andrea reached across the table to take Ferb’s phone, which caused a spike in his nerves since he 1. No longer knew what she was saying and 2. Well. She had his phone. After a few painful seconds of her tapping at it she pushed it back across to him. “I put my number in so you can call or— contact me whenever!”

Ferb, having not gotten any of that, just nodded. Andrea smiled, eyes moving to Phineas. “And thank you so much! This was delightful, apart from— well. Anyway, I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other soon!��

#interview process #oh phineas #i want candy #fern

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awomanofscience · 3 years ago

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HEADCANON: On Carina and "filthy pirates"

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

TL;DR:

Carina has a Canonically disparaging view of pirates that I believe is influenced by her upbringing within the fold of "polite" society, the fact she's not a perfect character, and her treatment at the hands of Jack and crew. Their shared adventure and her familial connection (via. Barbossa) somewhat challenges this perception. More, positive encounters with pirates and a better understanding of their motivations would do this better. Eventually, I think she'd find certain elements of the pirate's life appealing (freedom from social constraints, fighting back, etc.).

*Longer explanation under the cut*

Throughout Dead Men Tell No Tales and her spin-off novelisation, it's pretty obvious that Carina has a disparaging view of pirates. There's evidence of this everywhere:

Calling Jack a "filthy pirate" during their near-execution

Expressing no moral opposition to his execution, unlike her own ("Kill the filthy pirate. I'll wait.")

Repeating the insult "filthy pirate" several times throughout the film

Refusing to believe one of Jack's crew could have an educated parent ("You're telling me your mother was academically inclined?")

Taking offence to Barbossa suggesting her father was a thief, particularly because he's a pirate ("The memory of my father will not be defiled by the tongue of a pirate!")

Regularly using "pirate" as an insult/judgement of character

Her perception of pirates doesn't really change until towards the end of the film, when she learns that one of the most infamous pirates of her time - Barbossa - was her father all along.

As an otherwise unusually progressive personality, why does she automatically take this view?

Carina is a product of her upbringing in "polite" society

For all the hardships she's endured throughout her life, financial/social hardship isn't really one of them.

Unlike pretty much every orphaned child in her time, Carina is neither condemned to the streets nor to a workhouse. Instead, she's sent to a "children's home" run by a rich and charitable benefactor in the countryside. This is highly unusual for her setting, given that the first real orphanage in the UK - The Foundlings Hospital - was opened in 1741. The orphanage movement didn't really take off until the mid 19th century, and although a few places did exist beforehand, most parentless kids were simply... abandoned. Some went to monasteries, others to work (and likely die) in workhouses. Some ended up on the streets. But very few were admitted into care.

In this care, Carina was also fortunate to get some semblance of an education. She's literate, well-spoken, has a higher-than-average understanding of the world around her, and is even tutored to near-fluency in Italian. The objective of this education is to turn Carina into a young lady worthy of polite society, and who can take up a working position in an upper-class household.

And this is what happens. Her first job is as a maid to the extremely wealthy Lady Devonshire, but she doesn't stay in this position for long. After bonding over their love for astronomy, she's taken in as a Lady Devonshire's ward. This is emphasised to be an elevated position that earns her a room in the estate, relief from her duties as a maid, and even curtseys from the other staff. She's in this role for four years before she leaves for St. Martin, directly before the events of the film.

The point of this context is to show that whilst canon!Carina has absolutely suffered hardship and discrimination (I am by NO means saying that 18th c. orphanages were good places to live), she still had a relatively privileged and sheltered life, compared to others like her, before DMTNT. She was brought up by and lived in "polite" society as a member of it in her own right, and so naturally reflects some of the attitudes that she doesn't yet know to challenge.

Before DMTNT, her perceptions aren't challenged

Carina doesn't live in a period where privileged society understood the links between social/financial desperation and piracy. Until you either lived or saw it for yourself, what evidence did you have to know to challenge the narrative? Carina grew up far removed from anywhere where she could see or experience it first-hand, and had nothing but stories and what she was taught to go by. And let's also be honest - real-life piracy could reap violent and unjustified consequences for innocent people. Without ever meeting a pirate for herself, or having a sympathetic example to relate to, how can see them as anything but the bogeyman?

Carina isn't a perfect person. She's highly flawed, and only truly understands how social barriers have impacted her and influenced her choices. Part of her journey throughout DMTNT is learning how they impact others, too.

Her first impressions of pirates don't exactly challenge them either (tw: sexism, objectification)

Carina's first encounters with pirates include being tricked and thrown off a building, bound and held captive, continuously condescended for being a woman, sexually objectified, and countless other pretty shit things that don't really do much to challenge what she thinks she knows.

Jack's crew treat her pretty awfully and belittle her throughout most of the film, and Jack's has his moments too (undressing scene on the boat, anyone?). I actually take issue with this narratively as a lot of this treatment makes no sense given the events of the previous films. But it's "canon", and it's pretty reasonable for Carina to feel negatively towards the only pirates she's met under those circumstances.

She isn't shown any respect from a pirate until Barbossa gives her the wheel of the Black Pearl, and even then we get that stupid line from Mullroy/Murtogg: "Sir, you wouldn't allow a woman to steer your ship...?"

Honestly? Throughout most of the film, Carina doesn't get to meet a "good" pirate who she can empathise with. By the end, she has both a shared experience and familial connection to begin the process of challenging her perceptions, but little else to take it further.

Do I think her views would continue post DMTNT?

No, I don't. Finding out Barbossa was her father was the first "big" step towards canon!Carina empathising more with at least one pirate. But even then, I headcanon that she would have a really hard time coming to terms with it, and the objectively awful things he's done, once the initial emotion wore off.

What Carina needs is to meet not awful examples of pirates that don't interact with her exclusively with put-downs, discrimination, and objectification, and learn more about what motivates them/the hardships they're often trying to escape. I think later conversations with both Will and Elizabeth would go a long way towards this in Canon, and am hoping to explore this with other characters here too.

I actually think Carina would eventually find some elements of piracy attractive. The idea of living a comparatively "free" life outside of society's constraints, and getting to "fight back" against the authorities that have persecuted her for so long.

BUT, I don't believe she'd ever really be on board with violence and acting against the innocent. Not outside my more "Dark Carina" verse anyway.

Does she take this view towards everything she's taught by society?

Absolutely not. I am not saying at all that Carina accepts all truths as taught by society as being absolute truths, including ones that don't relate to her. She is not discriminatory, or judgemental, and society was (and is) in many, many ways. But it's easier for her to accept "all pirates bad" as truth when there's significant evidence to support it right in front of her.

Summary? It's hard to challenge what you're taught as an absolute until you know how to. Carina does this well in some areas, but not in others - and that includes piracy. DMTNT gave her nothing to challenge her perceptions, so I'm going to do it here instead ;)

#✧ — headcanons #✧ — long post #{ I don't know if I explained this very well }#{ I just think that as much as Carina challenges social expectations she knows are bogus she doesn't know to challenge this one }#{ especially after having bad personal experiences }#{ she knows there's no way a person can be born lesser than another (i.e. being a woman) }#{ but she doesn't yet understand why someone would choose piracy when she associates it with violence and cruelty }

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queen-of-my-goofball-army · 4 years ago

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OC Master List

Obviously if you’ve followed me for any length of time you will know that I have a really nasty habit of making characters of my own design. I love to be creative and make my own realities through this medium. It’s actually one of my favorite things to do. I’ve wanted to make this for a while because my friends sometimes get confused as to which OC that I’m talking about so this is the master list for everybody.

My Hero Academia: If I have any fandom where most of my OCs go it’s into the MHA fandom. I have currently five OCs in this show so let’s talk about them one by one.

Mitsuki Haruka: My first OC that I truly ever created and invented with the knowledge of doing it. Mitsu has a really special place in my heart because she was the first and the one that I work for the most in this fandom usually. Her comfort character is Katara from Avatar The Last Airbender. Her quirk is water. She can pretty much do anything with water. She can heat it, freeze it, glide around on it, whip it out of her and use something that I stole from Fairy Tail called waterlock where she locks a person inside of a body of water. Her canon partner is Tenya Iida my favorite square boi. I often talk about her with her adopted brother and my amazing friend @bio-hazard0us OC Kaku.

Violet Katsuragi: Violet is one that I don’t really talk about in great detail a whole lot because every time I try to I cry. Her family is a massive shit show and I always feel so bad for making it that way. I’m always like “My poor baby who is making you suffer so much-oh yeah it’s me sorry about that babe.” She is my “villain” OC. She is really only a member of the league so that she can stay close with her boyfriend and love of her life Twice (Jin). Her quirk is that she can control the plant tattoos that are on her arms by summoning them and using them in combat. Her comfort character is Mary Poppins because it reminds her of her older brother. Violet is an actress for a local community theater once the league disbands quietly. She and Jin also adopt Toga (a younger member of the villain league) as their own daughter to give her a second chance at life. I love her even though she’s the saddest backstory one that I have to work with it’s also the most fulfilling when I write fluff for her.

Shizuko Kanade: Another absolute baby with a crappy home life. I’m sorry that I made it that way hun but it gets better for you I promise. Shizuko is my quirkless OC and my genius tech girl. She lives below her best friend and brother in arms Denki Kaminari and they’ve been best friends since they moved into the same building together. Her comfort character is PJ from the Goof franchise especially from Goof Troop that was her favorite show to watch with her aunt when she was growing up. She starts off really chubby, the cute kind of chubby but starts drastically dropping pounds in order for her parents to love and accept her. When they still don’t Denki has enough and talks to his mom and they decide to call the police and foster Shizuko into their own home. They get a restraining order against her biological family and my best girl gets a happy home. She wants to be the first quirkless hero to rely completely on support items. (She is also partnered with Shoji if anybody is curious.)

Arashi Mitsuha: This absolute baby, I love them. Ari is my gender fluid OC that I made who started off as just your everyday cis male but then I had an idea that spiraled from Ari in eyeliner to Ari in a skirt and then we wound up with the gender fluid absolute icon that they are today. Ari has a weather quirk. Basically anything involving weather they can do it with their eyes closed. Thunder and lightning storms, tsunamis, tornados but also snow and sunshine. They’re really OP and hella versatile it makes it more fun to write their fighting style. I paired them up with Denki in your stereotypical meet-cute scenario. In terms of backstory they just had a really bad ex-boyfriend before Denki came into their life like a literal speeding bullet. Their comfort character is Hedwig from Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

Litzy Diaz: My last and FINAL MHA OC I promise you. Litzy is from a small town in Mexico and transferred to UA giving herself a second chance to start anew with her new friends and away from her toxic parents. She is fostered by Aizawa and Present Mic who have already adopted Shinsou so they are brother and sister in every way but blood. Her quirk was very heavily inspired by my love of Dr Facilier in Princess And The Frog. She can control shadows, shadow travel through things such as walls and she can control her friends on the other side basically demons from the underworld. Present Mic sees her as his long lost daughter and basically worships the ground that she walks on. He loves her more than anything in the entire world. Her comfort character is Miguel from Coco and La Muerte from Book Of Life. Her canon partner is Juso from Class B.

DuckTales: I only have one DuckTales OC (thank the Gods) but she’s very special and important to me. I love the reboot of this show even if I’m way the hell behind on it (I promise I’ll catch up after Gravity Falls Donuts!!).

Sabrina Duck: Sabrina is a sister for Huey, Dewey and Louie!! She shares the title of oldest quadruplet by thirty seconds and often took over the motherly role for her siblings when their mom wasn’t there. She was always reminding them to do their homework, regulated who got TV time and who was in charge of the delegated family movie night. This resulted in a rift between her and her brother Dewey that only got bigger overtime. School was really hard for her to deal with. She was never the best at paying attention during her classes and had a really bad sensory overload one day. She was really close with her uncle Ludwig though and he offered to teach her. They have a really special bond between the two of them that I love writing for. Sabrina was the person that grounded Ludwig to not think up as many crazy inventions. She also knits!! She loves knitting sweaters for her friends and family around the holidays. I am partnering her up with Gosalyn eventually.

Star Vs The Forces Of Evil: To be perfectly honest with you guys, I have not seen the entire show. It’s really hard for me to get into it. Because when you only really love one character in the entire thing it gets harder to keep coming back for more. Especially because in the first two seasons you don’t get a whole lot of him and I’m stuck on season 2.

Allania (Nia) Alvez: I feel like out of all my OCs I am the most like Nia. She’s a half elf-half mortal princess that isn’t allowed to live with the elves so they sent her to live with her mortal father. Her dad’s run a bakery in town and she works there as an assistant baker when she isn’t preparing for her next drag show. She grew up in this family full of love and acceptance and grew excited about one day having a relationship just like her parents. Her first brush with love left her broken by the side of the road even though no relationship came of it. A lot of my feelings for my ex-best friend went into Nia’s personality. However, there is a bright side! Of course with every one of my fics so far there is a bright side that comes in the form of my favorite character Tom who gives her the love that she deserves.

Animaniacs: Of course this is me we’re talking about so there has to be an Animaniacs OC on this list! This is actually the first character that I ever made on my own free will! She has changed a lot throughout the years that I’ve had her mostly because my tastes have changed.

Elizabeth Martin: Lizzy is a member of the scene crowd, I was inspired by my best friend and what she wears every day. For the modern au that I have her in her and Yakko are dance partners in a musical theater style school. For the regular fic she’s cast as his love interest. I love this girl so much. To me she is everything that I want to be even now. Her strength and confidence to get through every situation, even the ones that she is afraid to deal with speaks volumes to how I want to be one day. One of the few things that we have in common is that we both did martial arts! She stuck with it for longer than me though and is currently a green belt in kempo karate. Her favorite musical is Fun Home because it’s the one that she relates to the most through the eyes of the mother Helen Beckdal. Her parents basically had three other kids and went here take care of these it’s your job. Every time I listen to Days and Days I think of how much she had to go through just to make sure that everything was going according to plan.

Looney Toons: Who doesn’t love Looney Toons?! We all have our personal favorite characters, mine has always been the schemer Daffy Duck. I thought that he was a combination of the funniest and had the most personality other than Bugs. I love his antics and get rich quick schemes and I thought to myself one day “How cute would it be if he had an adorable little niece who loved space?!”

Daniella Duck: This began the creation of one of the best ideas that I personally think that I have ever had. So Daniella is the only one out of all my OCs that does not have aspergers. Instead I looked at Daffy’s elongated tongue and was like “Hm something inside of me thinks that she would have down-syndrome...” At first she was just going to have a little bit of her uncle’s speech impediment but this is what happens when I get ideas when I’m working out. Daniella lives with her uncle on the warner movie lot in the show fic. I love writing for her and her uncle’s relationship because it’s soft Daffy (it’s very similar to writing for soft Grunkle Stan and I LOVE BOTH). Daniella also has an uncle figure in Bugs and Porky of course. I gave her canon partner to Wakko because I just thought that they would be SO cute together. He helps her work on her self confidence and working her way around her speech impediment. In the modern au that I have she has a brother Ding Dong (@oo-fabooo02 OC). She goes to school with Wakko, loves Ed, Ed N Eddy, helps her uncle on his podcast because Daffy is a comedian in this au and she helps him write his script for the episodes. She loves space in both aus but in the modern au she actually is able to become an astronaut!

Teen Titans\Promare: I have the same OC for both Teen Titans and for Promare but she’s more for Promare right now. What started off as just a happy au that she could have with her comfort character from the TT fic sort of spiraled into this whole other au.

Keiko Katsuragi\Fotia in the Promare au: Keiko is a really special OC in my heart. She’s adorable, fun loving, sweet and just an all around amazing girl. In the Teen Titans au she’s a lot more damaged emotionally. Her father gave her powers through a serum that she didn’t even really want (she thought that he was joking) and it caused her house to burn down. When she left Japan she was homeless until the Teen Titans found her. Keiko is a member of the decora community and loves cutesy, girly things (especially Pokémon, Sanrio characters, Spongebob, Strawberry Shortcake and Care Bears). Her collection of stuffed animals is immense and intimidating. Her canon partner is Beast Boy. I’ve had Keiko since I was six and only just started to refine her and make her into an official OC. Promare au Keiko still has BB as her partner but I made him into a fire fighter for this au to work. She started off in a poly relationship with Meis and Gueira but I changed my mind. Writing the Promare au gave me the chance to make a happy unscarred Keiko. Her comfort character in this au is Dot.

Princess And The Frog: If you forced me to pick a favorite Disney movie this one would be one of the two answers that I gave to you. I have a very big soft spot for this movie in particular. It is one that changed my life when I sat there as a young child and watched the movie unfold in front of my very eyes. Every time I rewatch this movie I am reminded of how much of my childhood I spent loving hand drawn Disney animation.

Rhiannon (Rae): Rae is the daughter of Tiana and Naveen. I named her after Raymond the firefly. If you knew what a big comfort character my favorite cajun firefly is for me and my mom then her name will come as no surprise. She is the baker and pastry chef for Tiana’s Palace. Rae is a multi musically talented young girl she plays the ukulele, trumpet and accordion. When I first started writing for her I knew that I wanted her to be bisexual. So I turned to one of my favorite animation fun facts that I know. When Jim Cummings was first auditioning for Raymond they had him sing a song. This song that he sang is by Leon Russel and it’s called Cajun Love Song. It is also the song that he sings when he is untying Tiana and Naveen’s tongues. The song is about a girl named Alice. And part of my brain that makes these connections went perfect! That’ll be the name of her girlfriend. Rae is mostly a daddy’s girl. The relationship between her and Naveen was really what helped me refine her personality. Her comfort character is Rabbit from Winnie The Pooh. She is a gardener in her free time and that’s where she gets a majority of her fresh fruits and vegetables for her pastries and desserts. She isn’t really the best at being a princess. In fact she hates when she has to go and visit Maldonia. She doesn’t feel at home there and they won’t let her cook or bake anything at all because it’s not seen as ladylike. This is when she mostly feels like something is wrong with her. Why can’t she just do this one seemingly simple thing for her dad? When he does so much for her why can’t she do this? She learns that even though she isn’t perfect she is so very much loved that it’s ridiculous. Her family loves her so much and they’re willing to move hell or high water for her to be comfortable.

Gravity Falls: My most recent obsession (I did not have cable when the original show was being released please don’t kill me). I have recently been binging this show on Disney+ and have just started the second season. I hope to be done with it within the next week or so because I love it so much. My favorite character so far is definitely Grunkle Stan. I love his growth and development from a power hungry greedy old man to somebody that clearly loves the kids that are put under his care. Watching his adorable relationship with mother and the father son relationship with Dipper is something that is really close to my heart.

Twilight Pines: My most recent OC!! Twilight is the older sister of Mabel and Dipper and has been visiting Grunkle Stan for years prior to the start of the show. She’s used to his money scheming antics by now but she still loves her favorite Grunkle. Growing up, Twilight had a nervous stutter. She was shy, nervous a lot, socially awkward and was never really the best at dealing with other people. This made her comfort character Piglet from Winnie The Pooh. Her stutter is still there but it’s gotten a lot better!! She spent the year before the show starts at drama camp trying to get over her stutter. While it’s not gone completely it was a lot of progress. She has a really strong relationship with her caretaker for the summer because of the years that she’s spent with him in the past. Up until Mabel went with her for the summer she thought that she would be the only niece in his heart. See, after Mabel was born she took up a lot of the attention. Everyone wanted to look at the cute one instead of the nervous one. It’s just the way that life is. But during the summer she got to spend it being the favorite relative of somebody. When she notices how close Mabel and Stan are getting that’s when she knows that it’s over. She was naive to ever think that somebody would pick her as the favorite. Not when Mabel existed alongside her. It’s not that she doesn’t love Mabel because she clearly does. It’s just that well sometimes she wants to be loved and appreciated by her parents instead of constantly being sidelined. That’s why her summers with her Grunkle were so important to her. It was just three months out of the year. But for those three months working at the Mystery Shack and having all kinds of chaotic fun were the highlight of her year. She has to learn that she has her own values too. One’s that while don’t oversell her sister are still her’s and they are still beautiful. She learns that her parents love and care about her just as much as her sister. It’s just hard to be a show stealer in this house let’s be honest. Twilight is a pansexual and her canon partner is Wendy.

#OC #my hero academia #DuckTales oc #Teen Titans oc #Promare oc #Princess and the frog #Gravity Falls #master list

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underwoodinc · 4 years ago

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You've been visited by the random OC question fairy! :D ~☆

What is your character's relationship with their family like? Do they have grandparents? Siblings? How well do they get along with their extended family members?

Awww! Thank you Random OC Question Fairy!!

I'm just gonna go through main cast for my current W.I.P.

(OKAY read more is not working on my version of the App so apologies everyone 😨😭😭)

Leah - Her mom died when she was young a few years after her little brother was born. She co-raised Gene with their Dad, Martin, then when Martin's health declined she took over caring for him too. She loves them both a lot, as much as she has trouble emotionally showing it, and the main reason she does most the things she does is to take care of her dad and brother.

Gene was protected a lot from the hard times, so he's kinda bratty but extremely smart, so she pushes him to do well in school, take extracurriculars, etc. So they're relationship goes from "regular siblings" to "parent and bratty teenage son" a whole lot.

Miles- Miles Dad passed away when he was young he was a good Dad, so he misses him. He lives with his Mama and they're pretty close, she had to retire so he stays to take care of her, and look after her while he works.

He wonders a lot what his Dad would think of him now, knowing he had high hopes for him, and wouldn't approve of...you know the whole endangering his life thing he does in the main storyline. Or maybe he would.

Courtney - She was raised by her mother primarily, and has a little sister but they're close in age.

She's very close to them both, she'll tell people "I grew up poor, but not sad". She has a lot of good memories and even when times were tough, the three of them pulled through together. Her Mom worked extremely hard to put her through dance and acting classes when she was growing up. Whenever her shows have thier opening nights she ALWAYS makes sure her Mama and Anita have the best seats, brings them to events, etc.

Alan - Grew up rich, grew up sad. He does not talk to his family unless absolutely necessary. His parents he does not like, his siblings he does not like. There's some bad history there.

I'm not going to go into it, cause I'm not sure still if it'll ever make it into the main story. Like you know when you have a piece of your OC's history and you're like "this definitely happened" but it doesn't exactly fit into the mainplot? Its like that so it might be spoilery.

I can say basically Alan was the "unfavorite", he's the baby of the family but he wasn't THE baby of the family. Definantly a case of "youngest becomes most independent because they raised themselves."

Like his family is rich, old money that's making more money, but all the wealth he has now is his own. No he's not self-made, his parents did pay his way through college and most of Law School, but soon as he was able he cut himself off from them.

So he and Courtney live off thier own money, he'd rather die before asking his parents for any, he doesn't even know if he still has an inheritance or not, figures he'll find out when they die.

His older siblings call him to talk every now and then, but they have to be the ones to make the first move. Same with his parents, he makes them reach out first and its usually when they want his legal advice or like when one of his siblings has a kid and "the whole family has to be here"

So not very often. That's fine. Alan became close to Courtney's sister and mom when they started dating, and as much as he loves seeing happy families they feel so foriegn to him.

John - [Redacted]

Ophelia- Raised by her parents, her mother got very sick when she was young and passed away (she relates to Leah in a lot of ways with this, though Leah fights it cause Leah is Leah). Close to her father, but after her mother died she saw less of her side of the family and as a result feels seperated from that side of her culture (She's black from her father's and Mexican from her mother's side, Edith's family is from Toluca and she was second generation raised in the U.S).

She's an only child, but grew up with lots of friends and cousins that were like siblings, and John before The Accident, she had a sibling like relationship with, which is why she immediately put in to head the search for him.

#Its so cool #your account!#and sorry for the word vomit #kids who play in the dark #Oc families #oc personal history #everyone's got family angst cause I have family angst #poor Alan has mommy and daddy issues

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i-did-not-mean-to · 3 years ago

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Never say never - Chapter 6

So, here’s the next instalment of this little romcom story...

°6° ~Victoria~

“But, I insist upon apologising to the other people in attendance, again.” Victoria hated apologising, but Martin had been right in telling her off about snubbing people who had done her no harm…this far.

Knowing that it would make Martin laugh, she snatched up a bowl of peanuts and held it in her palms like an offering.

As expected, the man beside her doubled over in hilarity, holding his sides as the wheezing grew painful. The polite but confused looks of his friends and colleagues seemed an endless well of amusement to him.

“Ah, thank you.” Hiddleston took up one of the nuts gingerly and shoved it into his mouth as if it had been a ritualistic offering indeed. “See? The tamest of…beasts.” Martin whispered into her ear, and she was tempted to pat the golden hair on the man soothingly.

Following the other man’s example, Armitage also picked a nut and ate it, keeping his eyes questioningly on her face.

“Look pleased, girl, smile at them.” Martin said in a hushed voice, nudging her in the side gently.

Victoria was almost sure that she was grimacing, her teeth bared awkwardly, but she had never been good at smiling on command and this fraught situation was, unfortunately, no exception to this shortcoming of hers.

“So, tell us, what did you refer to when you called this a “nerd-fest”?” Martin prompted her gently to speak, seemingly understanding that direct exhortations would get him nowhere with her. It was, in general, always best to come at a petrified Victoria sideways, starting a seemingly inconsequential conversation and letting it flow from there.

“There are literally dolls of you.” Victoria scoffed, moving her hands vaguely in front of her body in an imitation of how a child would play with a doll. “Not soft though, hard plastic…” Her hands sunk back, she was making a fool of herself.

“Dolls?” Liza hooted gleefully. “Well, I’ve also seen the theatre productions.” Victoria said, just a moment too late, her voice tinged with resentment again. She hated being caught unawares and being goaded into saying stupid shit.

“No, you tell me more about the dolls.” Liza was having fun, but her expression was devoid of malice or ill-will.

“Liza, I have seen those funny movies with the costumes and the creatures and…” Victoria sighed, she didn’t remember the names and she was already at a disadvantage here. She felt caught and put on the spot amidst these people who, naturally, knew those movies so well, down to the very lines of the characters.

“And did you like them?” The good beast, Tom as he had introduced himself with a smile, was grinning at her warmly again. Yes, she could see what Jenna saw in him, he seemed to radiate warmth and a polite friendliness.

“Oh, yes, very much. It was a bit…sad though.” Victoria shrugged. She was not ready to explain to a bunch of strangers that she didn’t like seeing bad family relations and vicious fights, as her reality had enough of those to last for a lifetime.

Liza looked at her questioningly, but after a moment, she understood. She had seen Vic pick up on the most random things, but strained family relationships and weird homosexual undertones were always amongst the things that moved her most. Also, like most soft-hearted, even though Vic was equally hard-headed, women, Victoria hated untimely deaths.

Maybe, her plan would work after all. All she had to do now was to draw back and hope that Armitage had a tad of charm on his own. He had taken the peanut and he was giving them his best constipated smile.

Waving discreetly at her wife, she withdrew, pulling Jenna along with her, much to the chagrin of the young woman.

“That is one good-looking man.” She sighed under her breath and Liza turned around, scanning the room for the person her wife’s employee might have meant by those words. Martin followed them discreetly, coaxing Benedict along with the promise of more cakes and sandwiches (and a prime vantage point to follow the developments of their plan).

“Where are you all going now? What?” Vic called out, distress in her voice. “I’ll be right back; you stay with Armitage.” Liza grinned suavely, physically shoving Jenna along as she dug her heels into the carpeted floor.

Victoria blinked, looking up at the man in front of her until she could feel herself grow slightly dizzy.

“Oh darn it! That’s it. I’m done trying to be pretty.” She cursed under her breath, opened her tiny clutch bag and fished out a pair of gold-rimmed, round glasses that she put on resolutely. Unfortunately, she could not suppress the gasp.

“Oh Saints.” She sighed under her breath as the slightly blurry surroundings became sharper instantly. She had known that these were dangerous men, but she had believed that her myopy and the artistry of the editors had embellished them considerably; suffice it to say that she was shocked to find that she had been wrong.

~Richard~

They had left her alone with that woman. Not entirely alone of course, Hiddleston was still hovering around, but Martin that treacherous weasel had followed the cakes and the gentler women, leaving him stranded with this surprising creature whose eyes made it quite hard for him to find something relevant to say.

She blinked owlishly up at him until he thought that she’d go cross-eyed. To his surprise – another one – she usually wore glasses and when she put them on, an obscene sound of pleasure escaped her half-open lips.

Again, she called to the Saints, pushing the glasses up before they had even had the chance or the time to slip, which told him that she wore her glasses more consistently than him and probably had done so for a long time.

She had made an inane comment about no longer attempting to be pretty, before putting on her glasses but that made no sense at all to him, as her glasses were beautiful and, in a strange way, so was she.

Obviously, pushing up her glasses was a habit or a tick as she did it twice while looking at him as if he was a painting in a museum rather than a real, living, breathing person. Then again, he stood nearly as still as a statue under her forbidding, critical gaze that roamed over his face with detached curiosity.

“Hmmm, how do you find the 1971 Armitage then?” Hiddleston stood next to her, eating peanuts, and joining her in her intense study of the immobile man facing them. No doubt, he deserved the attribute of “stony” now, Richard thought, dismayed to be the butt of the joke after all. He had known that had been a risk and he had walked right into it.

“1971?” She asked absent-mindedly, throwing a quick questioning look at her interlocutor before returning her gaze to him, and Richard flinched a little bit. Why did that man have to lead with his age when talking to a woman that young?

“A collectible, I’m sure.” Hiddleston purred, his voice laden with affectation which made Victoria chuckle again.

Hmmm, if it made her laugh rather than growl and spit, he would be standing there and be mocked for a little while longer, Richard decided. She looked like she needed a laugh.

“Not quite an antique.” Victoria opined, but Hiddleston was quick to reassure her: “Almost though. It’s been wonderfully preserved.” Again, that pealing, throaty laughter resounded, and Richard’s own mouth curled into an indulgent smile.

“This deserves to be in a gallery.” Victoria murmured, her voice devout and strangely vulnerable.

“I am right here; I can hear you.” Richard interjected, without much hope to break up their little game.

“AAAH, as you can see, Ma’am, it is unfortunately haunted. It can tell the time…if you hang it opposite a clock that is…” Hiddleston was quick to take Richard’s intervention in his stride, giving himself an apologetic expression that amused Victoria greatly. “Haunted? A piece of art so young?” She expressed her doubt and suspicion.

“Yes, yes…It’s looking for a good home though, a nice attic or a cellar maybe…” Hiddleston was waving his hands around Richard’s face as if to dazzle Victoria by the speed of his movements, an old trick salespeople used to distract from the inferior quality of their wares.

“I have a home, thank you, Hiddleston. I am not a piece of junk to be sold for 50p in a yard-sale.” Richard growled.

Her face grew grave, and he wondered what dark thought had crossed her mind to make her smile die on her lips. Immediately, he regretted having cut short their fun. He really was the grumpy, old sad sack he never wanted to be.

~Victoria~

When Tom spoke of attics and cellars, Victoria was immediately reminded of the stately house her father had raised her in. She could imagine a man like that one living there, she could picture a painting of a man such as that hanging in the great hall over the fireplace or high above the broad staircase winding its way to the two separate wings of the manor.

He had a skin like the Italian marble that had been so ridiculously slippery and that had made her afraid to take a fatal tumble down the very same staircase. Many people had told her that the idea was ludicrous and overly dramatic, but she knew it to be possible. Her mother had died that way.

Yes, there had been a bottle of bourbon and some prescription drugs in the mix as well, but the fact remained that her mother had fallen down the staircase and died on the spot from a broken neck. Father had replaced that patch of marble, but its veining was different, and they all hated that marred, ugly square that stood out like a sore thumb.

Thinking of her childhood home invariably made her sad; but she couldn’t deny that Richard Armitage would have fitted better into the décor than the little girl she had been.

He would look terribly imposing on the steps of the stairs or sitting in the huge armchairs in front of the roaring fire in the library. He would not be swallowed by every piece of furniture, he would not look out of place in the huge copper bathtub, and he would certainly not blend into the dark corners of the much too spacious rooms when the main lights were turned down. Maybe, she would have to get a painting of him and try to sneak it in to see if her father would even notice.

“Would that he were a painting.” She murmured, a desperate note sneaking into her voice that Tom picked up on immediately. There was pain in this woman, and he could see the gooseflesh on her arms as she tried to keep still. Evidently, she was on the verge of breaking into another run, unable to cope with something that distressed her, a thing that escaped his notice though…which frustrated him, as he really wanted to help her.

“So, you prefer the theatre to the cinema?” He asked, hoping it would be the right path to choose.

Victoria took a deep breath; this was what Liza and Angie had aimed for, for her to meet new people and talk about herself again. “I don’t know, I’ve only been to the movie theatre a few times before. It was a long time ago though.”

She could remember the smell of popcorn and of anticipation as the room grew dark and the screen lit up like a window to another world. Even then, she had been consumed with an absurd fear to be among so many other people; terrified of what they might think of her if she was to gasp or cry at the wrong moment, so she stayed immobile.

The man who would marry and divorce her within 10 years had thought that she had hated the experience and hence had not asked her to go to the cinema often afterwards. Maybe, if he had believed that she liked it, he would have taken her instead of other girls and this shared hobby would have strengthened their bond rather than frazzle it.

Victoria coughed, she had said too much already, and her heart was pounding. She was not ready for this.

“I’m sorry. I have to go home. I’m not feeling well.” She uttered hastily, turning to leave.

She was a terrible person; she had tried to make things right and all she had managed were fits and starts, broken off conversations that would leave a stale taste on the silver tongues of these men.

“I…can’t.” She stammered to no-one in particular as she waved at her friends and vanished before they could make their way back through the room to keep her from leaving like an absurd perversion of Cinderella.

She wanted to say how sorry she was, she wanted to thank them for their kindness, but she just couldn’t…so, she ran, her feet drumming against the pavement and her dress soaking up the moisture of the ground as she made for the next corner to catch a cab.

By the time she arrived home, her chest was heaving frantically, and she was crying with panic and distress.

When she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror, Victoria had to admit to herself that she was irrevocably broken. She had had the great honour to meet people so fascinating and charming that many a woman would have torn out her own throat to be in her shoes and yet, she had not been able to shake the ghosts haunting her every breath, dogging her every step, spoiling her every pleasure.

Whatever Angie and Liza had thought they could achieve here, it would not happen, it never could.

~Richard~

That woman was utterly confusing. There were threads of a vibrant, quick-witted, funny person shining through behind a veil of confused anger, but somehow, they couldn’t get a hold of her.

In his mind, he could not reconcile the words he had read on the pages with the wide-eyed distress on her face; there was such a difference between the person he had imagined her to be and the person she had turned out to be in reality.

Now, it was true that his own taciturn demeanour had not been exactly conducive to drawing out the parts of her she was obviously hiding from the world, shielding them like deep wounds or fragile saplings.

Hiddleston however… that man was charming and even he had not managed to make her let down her guard for more than a few minutes at a time.

“What the fuck have you done to her?” Elizabeth stormed over, dismay writ plain on her face.

No, she had been angry before, she has bloody screamed at YOU, Richard thought, you cannot blame us for her leaving…but he still felt responsible and a tiny bit guilty. If he had been a little more open, she might have felt less insecure.

She has made it very clear that she’s afraid of you, he reminded himself, and you have done nothing to assuage her fears. No, you’ve given her your crooked, sharp-edged smiles that must indeed have looked like a predator baring its teeth at her more than the shy warmth he wanted them to convey.

“We were nice, all was well until Armitage gave her one of those cold, snide smiles.” Hiddleston shrugged and Richard felt weirdly hurt and betrayed even though he could hear that it had been a joke. Cold, a thing he had been called much too often and that made him despair within his own heart. He had not chosen his face and even after 50 years of life, he could not outrun its angular repulsiveness.

She had not known him well enough to be prejudiced, maybe, she would have been able to find warmth where others saw ice, but he had not managed to make her see. Also, Hiddleston had not been a great help.

“Awww, Richard, come on!” Martin sighed, disappointed, as if he was pursuing some ulterior motive Richard ignored.

#richard armitage #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #romance #romcom #ao3 #writing #rpf #hurt #trauma #a miss is a miss #vintage armitage #humour

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taproot-bread · 5 years ago

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So I know this would be considered a minor character, but whomst is Terelions ancestral guardian. I looked back on that old drawing of Terelions telling there guardian about their day and idk, I just wanna learn more about Terelions family history. (Sorry this is long)

You have no idea how excited I am to get a change to talk about the mysterious ghost man. So... once upon a time I made a character in ESO, Dulvin Tharimo, a Hlaalu sorcerer and someone who would help you get rid of the stolen goods quick and quiet. Back in the day also gave him a nephew, Tirius Bedarus, a spoiled young man who later left the family home and became an assassin for the Morag Tong. Tirius is Terelion’s ancestor guardian, making them related to the house Hlaalu.

Long dead Tirius was Terelion’s first parental figure. I have a headcanon that the more properly dunmer show respect, praying and leaving sacrifices to them, the more powerful their ancestor guardian could become. Since Terelion grew up in an orphanage in Skyrim they had no way of learning about ancestor worship, Tirius was left weak and without the ability to speak. Unfortunately he also was illiterate (don’t ask me how he was able to do his duty as a Morag Tong assassin bc I have no idea) and couldn’t communicate with Terelion other than with gestures and such.

The first time Terelion summoned him was when they were very little, and by accident of course. Terelion had a hard time in the orphanage bc they were the only elf in the whole area but scaring others by summoning Tirius they could keep themself safe. Tirius has always been awkward around Terelion and Terelion would summon him just to have some company. You could sometimes see Terelion on the floor, drawing with a piece of charcoal and Tirius just kind of.. floating there and watching.

Tirius was always there with Terelion through all the shit Terelion had to go through. Even tho he is weak and can be easily defeated by a stronger enemy, he will still do everything he can to keep poor Terelion safe. He will even try to comfort Terelion during bad moments. He is cold to the touch but still has held Terelion a couple of times, before Terelion would mention how they were freezing. Terelion tells Tirius pretty much everything, they vent to him, gush about things that brightened their day, or just turn to him and say ”Are you seeing this shit?”

Endrin, Finduin and Dar-Ma know about Tirius but none of them is comfortable around him. The first time any of them met Tirius Endrin tried to fight him, thinking he was some hostile spirit who had invaded his and Finduin’s cabin. It took Terelion a lot of explaining to calm Endrin down

Tirius was there when Terelion was stuck in an abusive relationship, when Terlion killed their lover and burned the house down, when they were in the Imperial prison, when they went to fetch Martin and all the way until Terelion mantled Sheogorath. As time passed as Terelion sat on the throne of the Mad God they would become more Sheogorath and less who they used to be and the invisible bond between Tirius and Terelion would become weaker and weaker, Terelion would become unable to summon him anymore as they forgot all about the ghost and their old life.

In the alternate universe where Terelion dies in Tamriel and later becomes Varyn’s ancestor ghost, Terelion and Tirius would meet in the void and Tirius would finally be able to tell Terelion who he was and tell them everything he couldn’t when Terelion was still alive. When Terelion become Varyn’s ancestor guardian Tirius would act as some sort of mentor to Terelion and would give them support.

WHOOPS I DIDN’T MEAN TO RAMBLE THIS LONG... anyway Tirius is Terelion’s awkward ghost dad and I feel bad about not drawing him enough

#terelion #tirius #dulvin #answers

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sgdlr · 4 years ago

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its 3am so im a little out of it atm but my brain wont shut off until i say something about jonmartin

i think probably one of my favorite things so far is how jon and martin grew? primarily this is more about jon's growth in relation to martin

there was never really a point in the story where jon had a big realization that he was in love with martin. there was no "oh shit im in love." it just happened so naturally, without any question or hesitation. even other characters had picked up on it easily (to the point it could be used against him in a "do you actually love him or did you fall in love with a memory" kinda way)

even with no sudden realization of these reciprocated feelings, you can still sorta pin point where they began to form just by listening to how he says certain things in regards to martin! because jon definutely at first had a "i want to save everyone" view for a while- and he still does!- but when it came to martin there was a point that he felt he couldn't let him go no matter what. and peter's appearance certainly comes into play here

somewhere between jon telling martin to stay behind because he can still do good as a distraction for elias and martin thinking jon was certainly dead, there was a shift. martin had spent the last several months working with peter, trying to ignore his personal feelings and jon spent many months in a coma, but when he couldnt actively interact with martin on a daily basis like he used to it allowed him a lot of time to think

and of course there is something to say that jon did maybe begin to fall for past version of martin- people change with time, especially if they believe theyve mourned for you. but when jon made his reappearance and he was able to meet with martin for the first in a long time, just one on one, theyre both very hesitant. they both remember a previous version of each other and that sorta thing will make things rocky.

but the one thing that really speaks louder than anything before the end of season 4 is that, no matter how hard martin tried to repress his feelings for the lonely, no matter how much he wanted to forget about jon, to move on... he still cared so deeply for him. if he really truly had moved on, had forsaken any and all emotions, then martin would have never put the tapes out by the coffin, he would have never recorded statements to "feed" jon, he wouldnt have said "no," plain and simple to take over jonah's place in the panopticon.

so, what martin believed to may have been a small, insignificant gesture (placing the tapes at the coffin, unsure if this would even work) was really the most important thing he could have done. it was right then that made jon realize his martin was still there. yes, he may have known peter was doing something to him already, but he hadnt changed martin, not even a little bit. the martin he knew was still there, even just a little bit, he knew he could save him from peter's plan- whatever it may be.

and by god was jon going to fight tooth and nail to get martin back.

#the magnus archives #tma #Jonathon sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #okay okay okay maybe this has been talked about before but GOD IM IN A SOFT MOOD #GOOD NIGHT IM VERY SLEEP DEPRIVED AND AM ABOUT TO CRY #ok to rb

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frmartinshomiliesandreflections · 2 years ago

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23rd July >> Fr. Martin’s Gospel Reflections / Homilies

Matthew 13:24-30 for Saturday, Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time

or on

John 15:1-8 for Saint Bridget of Sweden, Religious.

Saturday, Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time.

Gospel (Except USA)

Matthew 13:24-30

Let them both grow till the harvest.

Gospel (USA)

Matthew 13:24-30

Let them grow together until harvest.

Reflections (4)

(i) Saturday, Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time

And/Or

(ii) Saturday, Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time

(iii) Saturday, Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time

And/Or

(iv) Saturday, Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time

----------------------------------------

Saint Bridget of Sweden, Religious

Gospel (Except USA)

John 15:1-8

I am the vine, you are the branches.

Jesus said to his disciples:

‘I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that bears no fruit he cuts away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes to make it bear even more. You are pruned already, by means of the word that I have spoken to you. Make your home in me, as I make mine in you. As a branch cannot bear fruit all by itself, but must remain part of the vine, neither can you unless you remain in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me, with me in him, bears fruit in plenty; for cut off from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is like a branch that has been thrown away – he withers; these branches are collected and thrown on the fire, and they are burnt. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask what you will and you shall get it. It is to the glory of my Father that you should bear much fruit, and then you will be my disciples.’

Reflections (5)

(i) Feast of Saint Bridget of Sweden

And/Or

(ii) Feast of Saint Bridget of Sweden

Bridget was born in the year 1303. She was the daughter of a wealthy governor in Sweden. She wanted to enter a convent, but when she was thirteen she was married off to a wealthy man. They lived happily together for twenty-eight years and had eight children, four sons and four daughters. She went on to serve as the principal lady in waiting to the queen of Sweden. She had a reputation as a woman of great prayer. After her husband’s death, Bridget became a member of the Third Order of St. Francis and devoted herself wholly to a life of prayer and caring for the poor and the sick. Around this time, she sensed Christ calling her to found a new religious order. She founded a monastery for sixty nuns and twenty-five monks who lived in separate enclosures but shared the same church. She journeyed to Rome in 1349, with her daughter Katerina, to obtain papal approval for her order. She never returned to Sweden. She spent much of the remainder of her life on pilgrimage in Italy. She also made a pilgrimage with her daughter and son to the Holy Land. Along with Catherine of Siena, she worked hard to get Pope Clement VI to return from Avignon to Rome. She impressed with her simplicity of life and her devotion to pilgrims, to the poor and the sick. She experienced visions of various kinds; some of them were of the passion of Christ. She died in her house in Piazza Farnese in Rome in 1373. She was canonized in 1391, less than twenty years after her death. In 1999, Pope John Paul II made her a co-patroness of Europe, alongside Saint Catherine of Siena and Saint Teresa Benedicta. In the gospel reading for her feast, Jesus declares to his disciples, ‘I am the vine, you are the branches’. It is very difficult to distinguish between the vine and its branches. Where does the vine end and the branches begin? Surely the branches are themselves the vine. There is certainly a very close relationship between the vine and its branches. The image Jesus uses of the vine and the branches expresses the very intimate relationship that he desires between himself and ourselves, his disciples. It was this intimate relationship with Jesus that characterized the life of Brigid. The Lord is intimately involved with all the members of his church. He is in communion with us. That is a given. What Jesus calls for in the gospel reading is that we be in communion with him, that we make our home in him. The image of the vine and the branches Jesus uses also expresses our dependence on him. We need to be in a deeply personal communion with Jesus so as to live off the divine sap that reaches us from him. We need to live close contact with Jesus, if we, the church, are to be fruitful in the way he wants us to be. It is only in and through our communion with Jesus that we can bear his fruit, the fruit of the Spirit. The primary fruit of the Spirit is love, a love that brings life to others, just as Jesus’s love has brought life to us all.

And/Or

(iii) Feast of Saint Bridget of Sweden

Today’s gospel reading for the feast of Saint Bridget of Sweden is taken from John’s account of what Jesus said to his disciples on the night before he died. Jesus is taking his leave of his disciples but, before doing so, he wants to assure them that beyond his death and resurrection he will remain in communion with them. The image of the vine and the branches expresses the depth of the communion he desires to have with his disciples, with all of us. The Lord wants to be in communion with all of us, but for that to happen we must seek to remain in communion him by allowing his words to remain in us, by allowing his words to shape our lives. We can slip out of our communion with him; we can cut ourselves off from the Lord. However, his invitation is always there to return to him and to remain with him or in him. It is in returning to him, in remaining in him, in allowing his words to remain in us, that our lives bear rich fruit, what Paul calls the fruit of the Spirit. According to the last verse of our gospel reading, it is lives rich in the fruit of the Spirit that give glory to God. According to Saint Irenaeus, it is the human person fully alive - alive with the fruit of the Spirit - that gives glory to God. The fourteen century saint, Bridget of Sweden, was such a person fully alive. As a wife and mother of six children, she was noted for her works of charity towards those in greatest need, particularly unwed mothers and their children. After the death of her husband, she became a member of the third order of Saint Francis, and devoted herself to a life of prayer and caring for the poor and sick. She went on to found a religious community which became known as the Bridgettines. Her life is a living witness to the words of Jesus in today’s gospel reading, ‘Whoever remains in me… bears fruit in plenty’.

And/Or

(iv) Feast of Saint Brigid of Sweden

Bridget was born in the year 1303. She was the daughter of a wealthy governor in Sweden. She married a well to do man and they had eight children. She went on to serve as the principal lady in waiting to the queen of Sweden. She had a reputation as a woman of great prayer. After her husband died she founded a monastery for sixty nuns and twenty-five monks who lived in separate enclosures but shared the same church. She journeyed to Rome in 1349 to obtain papal approval for the order, known as the Bridgettines. She never returned to Sweden from Rome. She spent the rest of her life in Italy or on various pilgrimages. She impressed with her simplicity of life and her devotion to pilgrims, to the poor and the sick. She died in Rome in 1373. Brigid had a deep prayer life which overflowed in a life of extraordinary service of others. The gospel reading of the vine and the branches is very appropriate for her feast day. Jesus’ image of the vine is an image of the intimate relationship between himself and his disciples. He has created this intimate relationship through his life, death, resurrection and sending of the Holy Spirit. Jesus is the entire vine, root, stem and branches and his disciples are the branches. It is difficult to say where the vine ends and the branches begin, because the branches are part of the vine. Saint Paul expresses this profound relationship between the Lord and the baptized in different language, declaring that we are members of his body, that he is in us and we are in him. The fundamental call of Jesus in the gospel reading is ‘Make your home in me’ or ‘Remain in me’. Jesus has united us to himself in the most wonderful way, and now we have to preserve that unity, that deep relationship with him. Saint Brigid shows us that one of the ways we cultivate the relationship Jesus has formed with us is through prayer. Such remaining in the Lord ‘will bear fruit in plenty’, what Saint Paul calls the fruit of the Spirit, which is the fruit of love. Brigid shows us one shape of such a loving life. If we nurture our relationship with the Lord, our lives will bear that same rich fruit of love, whereas, in contrast, as Jesus says in the gospel reading, ‘cut off from me you can do nothing’.

And/Or

(v) Feast of Saint Brigid of Sweden

Bridget was born in the year 1303. She was the daughter of a wealthy governor in Sweden. When she was thirteen she was married off to a wealthy man. They lived happily together for twenty-eight years and had eight children, four sons and four daughters. She went on to serve as the principal lady in waiting to the queen of Sweden. She had a reputation as a woman of great prayer. After her husband’s death, Bridget became a member of the Third Order of St. Francis and devoted herself to a life of prayer and caring for the poor and the sick. She sensed Christ calling her to found a new religious order. She founded a monastery for sixty nuns and twenty-five monks who lived in separate enclosures but shared the same church. She journeyed to Rome in 1349, with her daughter Katerina, to obtain papal approval for her order. She never returned to Sweden. She spent much of the remainder of her life on pilgrimage in Italy. She also made a pilgrimage with her daughter and son to the Holy Land. Along with Catherine of Siena, she worked hard to get Pope Clement VI to return from Avignon to Rome. She was admired for her simplicity of life and her devotion to pilgrims, to the poor and the sick. She experienced visions of various kinds; some of them were of the passion of Christ. She died in her house in Piazza Farnese in Rome in 1373. She was canonized in 1391, less than twenty years after her death. In 1999, Pope John Paul II made her a co-patroness of Europe, alongside Saint Catherine of Siena and Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross. In the gospel reading for the feast of Saint Brigid, Jesus, our risen Lord, declares himself to be the vine. ‘I am the vine, you are the branches’. It is difficult to distinguish between the vine and its branches. Where does the vine end and the branches begin? When Jesus refers to himself as the vine and to us as the branches, he is giving us an image of the very intimate relationship that he desires to have with us, his disciples. The Lord is intimately involved with his church. He is in communion with us. That is a given. What Jesus calls for in the gospel reading is that we be in communion with him, that we make our home in him, after the example of Saint Brigid. The image of the vine and the branches also expresses our dependence on the Lord. We need to be in a deeply personal communion with Jesus so as to live off the sap that reaches us from him. We need to live in close contact with him, if we are to be fruitful in the way he wants us to be, in the way Saint Brigid was. It is only in and through our communion with Jesus that we can bear his fruit, the fruit of the Spirit, which is love. We need to nurture a vital contact with him, to ensure that we are a truly life-giving and life-enhancing presence in our world, as Brigid was in the world of her time.

Fr. Martin Hogan.

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andromeda-sapphire · 5 years ago

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Saturn in Aquarius: 2020-2023

Beginning later this month, on March 21, Saturn enters the revolutionary sign of Aquarius for a brief month and a half preview before it retrogrades back into Capricorn until the end of September. Then at the end of the year, on December 17, it will re-enter Aquarius for the long-haul until March of 2023. Saturn is known as the planet of limitations, boundaries, responsibilities and hard lessons, and up until now has been making its way through the restrictive and authoritarian sign of Capricorn since the beginning of 2018. Though Saturn is the ruler of earthy Capricorn and identifies well with that controlling energy, it doesn't always do it's best work in this sign. Traditionally, Saturn also rules the airy free-flowing sign of Aquarius, and tends to be very comfortable in this sign, despite how different they may seem. When Saturn enters this humanitarian sign, it evolves into a higher version of itself, capable of bringing much needed equality and change into the world. How do we know this? Well, let's take a look at the last few Saturn transits through Aquarius - from 1991 to 1994, and before that, from 1962 to 1964.

Let's begin with Saturn's transit through futuristic Aquarius back in 1962. Right off the bat, as Saturn entered the sign, the first automated (unmanned) subway train in New York City began running. Aquarius rules technology and automation, so this stood out to me as a very modern Aquarian development already. Also in 1962, Spacewar! was developed and released as the first computer game, featuring two spaceships fighting it out. Each spaceship was controlled by a player, meaning it was not only the first computer game, but also the first multi-player game for computers. Fitting, as Aquarius rules groups as well as spaceships and technology.

In the early 1990s, there were also some major technological advancements, specifically related to the internet and computers. In 1991, at the beginning of Saturn's transit through Aquarius, Apple released the PowerBook, the first modern laptop computer, which was a huge development in the computer world and has influenced our modern computers significantly in their portability and design. The WorldWide Web was technically invented in 1989, while Saturn was transiting Capricorn, and it was exclusively meant for information-sharing between scientists in institutions around the world at that time. However, in April of 1993, after Saturn had entered Aquarius, CERN made the "www" software public, accessible to anyone with a computer. This is significant because Aquarius represents freedom and equality, and though it was still mainly the upper class that could afford computers at the time, this movement away from intellectual elitism essentially opened the internet up for free public use like we have today. In 1992, ViolaWWW was released, and was the first web browser to become popularized by users. It was also the recommended browser by CERN until it was replaced by Mosaic, the first web browser to display images in line with text rather than in a new window, in 1993.

In the upcoming transit of Saturn through Aquarius, we can expect to see even more advanced technology developments. Many people are expecting Artificial Intelligence to really take off in the coming years, as well as 5G technology and space travel on a grander scale. The Internet of things is also on the rise, with smart devices and appliances becoming more readily available and more advanced.

The future of technology was on the minds of many in the early 1960s, reflected in ABC's first color animated TV series, The Jetsons, premiering in September of 1962. Not only does Aquarius rule color television and cartoons, but the futuristic utopian vision held by The Jetsons is also very Aquarian in nature. Television also welcomed the eccentric and beloved Addams family in 1964 with ABC's premiere of The Addams Family. This television classic questioned social norms of the time, specifically the values of the traditional mid-century American family, which were quite conservative at the time. This series became a symbol of the counterculture in television, a typically Aquarian concept. Another incredibly popular futuristic TV show that technically started during Saturn's transit through Aquarius, Star Trek began filming in November of 1964, during the last couple months of Saturn's journey through this sign. Star Trek is also notable for this transit due to the fact that it was one of the first television shows to give women, especially black women, prominent and respected roles. The character Lt. Uhura, the ship's communications officer, was played by Nichelle Nichols, a black actress. At that time, black women typically only appeared in television as servants and maids, so this was a revolutionary change not only in television but in the civil rights movement as well. In fact, when Nichelle Nichols considered quitting the show to pursue a career on Broadway, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. met with Nichelle, convincing her to stay on the show as a part of history.

Television in the early 1990s during Saturn's next transit through Aquarius was just as influential on culture as the television of the early 1960s. One of the first TV shows that comes to mind when I think of the 90s in television is the classic sitcom Friends. Though this show technically didn't air until Saturn had moved into Pisces in 1994, the concept of the show resonates very closely with Aquarian themes. For one, the name "Friends"is representative of Aquarius, the sign of friendship and camaraderie. David Crane and Marta Kauffman, the show's creators, began developing Friends in late 1993 under the early title of Insomnia Cafe, as Saturn made its way through the last 10 degrees of Aquarius. Though it initially had mixed reviews, Friends grew to become one of the most popular and beloved television shows of its time. Another well-loved show of the early 90s, though aimed more towards a younger audience, Bill Nye the Science Guy first aired in 1993, and embraced the forward-thinking Aquarian scientist archetype. Science in general is ruled by Aquarius, sign of innovation and discovery, and this show was designed to teach children about the realities of science and observation. One TV show I thought I should mention here as well is The Real World, which first aired on MTV in 1992, and is credited as being the birth of the "reality TV" genre of television, though it was edited quite often in favor of certain situations and reactions that didn't quite reflect reality. It received a lot of criticism as well for not ever casting an Asian man in nearly 30 years on television. Reality TV is also very much a Saturn in Aquarius concept, as Saturn rules realism, and Aquarius rules television in general.

Aquarius is also the ruler of cartoons, as I touched on earlier, so it's only fitting that I discuss a few cartoons of the early 90s. The trend of "cartoons for adults" was beginning to take off around this time, after The Simpsons paved the way in 1989 with its adult humor and hidden messages about adult life. One of the more "mature" cartoons that comes to mind when thinking of Saturn's transit through Aquarius in the early 1990s is The Ren & Stimpy Show. This show first aired in 1991, and was quite grotesque in its animation style, featuring detailed animated close-ups with which other shows later followed suit. It quickly became a cult classic, especially among college students, who adored its bizarre animation style and dark yet quirky humor. Another cult classic "adult cartoon" that began while Saturn was making its way through Aquarius is Beavis and Butt-Head, which first aired in 1993. This cartoon had mixed reviews and stirred up a lot of controversy with its seemingly idiotic social criticism, but became a staple of early 90s adult television nonetheless. The social criticism in this show is representative of Saturn in Aquarius as well, as Saturn portrays a harsh, critical nature, and Aquarius is a sign of society and social groups. Rocko's Modern Life was yet another cartoon series that was aimed for young adults rather than children, and achieved moderate success after its initial release in 1993. This show was known for highlighting adult situations through cartoon animation - combining the adult responsibilities and themes of Saturn with the off-beat cartoony Aquarian personality. One last cartoon I'd like to mention in this segment of adult cartoons is Animaniacs, which first aired in 1993, and quickly became a hit with both children under age 11 and adults over 25. The large following among adults even led to one of the earliest Internet fandom cultures, another Aquarian concept.

Television in the coming years will likely circle around again to some of these rebellious Aquarian ideas, and it's likely that TV will become even more entwined with the internet over the next few years, as online streaming is more common these days than watching cable TV.

Saturn's movement through Aquarius was a big part of the civil rights movement of the early 60s as well. The sign of Aquarius is a sign of freedom, equal human rights, and disrupting the status quo, which essentially were a few of the main goals of the movement. In fact, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had a 10th house Aquarius Mercury, which is why we remember him best for his "I have a dream" speech, which he delivered August 28, 1963 in Washington D.C. for the 200,000+ people who gathered in front of the Lincoln Memorial for the March on Washington. During the time he was writing and revising this speech, Saturn was transiting his Mercury in Aquarius as well. Later in 1963, on October 22, roughly 200,000 students stayed out of school in Chicago to protest segregation of African-American students in schools. This was a major peak of an ongoing battle to desegregate schools across America, again acting out the Aquarian values of equality and social justice.

In the early 1990s this theme re-emerged through the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. A video went public in 1991 of five white Los Angeles police officers severely beating Mr. Rodney King, who was black, after pulling him over for speeding. The riots began on April 29, 1992 after a trial jury acquitted four of the officers, enraging thousands of Southern California residents who took to the streets in anger. By the end of the riots, in early May, 63 people had been killed and thousands more were injured or had been arrested. The 1992 Rodney King riots went on to inspire the folk song "Like a King" from Ben Harper's debut 1994 album Welcome to the Cruel World, which was released just after Saturn transited into Pisces, therefore the songs were written and recorded while Saturn was in Aquarius.

In the coming transit of Saturn through Aquarius, we can expect to see another revolutionary movement for POC, particularly watching the Black Lives Matter movement, because the hashtag was born while Saturn was in Scorpio, meaning Saturn in Aquarius will be coming up on a Saturn square for the birth chart of the movement.

Furthermore in music, there were a few major developments in the early 1960s while Saturn was in Aquarius that stood out to me. First, in the early to mid 60s, Joan Baez was beginning to make a name for herself in folk music during the American folk revival. Then in 1962, Peter, Paul & Mary released their debut album, which reached #1 on the US album charts. During the same year, Bob Dylan released his self-titled debut album of cover songs, and later went on to release his first original album The Times They Are a-Changin' in 1964, towards the end of Saturn's journey through Aquarius. These politically charged folk artists all peaked with the folk revival during Saturn's transit through Aquarius, which makes sense, as folk music is Aquarian in its nature, typically discussing issues of politics, inequality and other "radical" ideas of change. In fact, these artists also all performed "We Shall Overcome" at Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s March on Washington in 1963.

Another emerging group that stood out to me from this Aquarian transit was The Beatles. This incredibly successful rock group released their first couple of songs - "Please Please Me" & "Ask Me Why" - in January of 1963. By the next month, their single "Please Please Me" was topping the British rock charts. The Beatles released their debut studio album, Please Please Me, in March 1963, and by May had landed on the top of the UK album charts, staying there for 30 weeks, only to be replaced by their second studio album, With The Beatles. By October of 1963, the media began using the term "Beatlemania" to describe the frenzied behavior exhibited by Beatles fans across the globe. Many of their live performances were accompanied by the sounds of screaming fans and general hysteria. Fanatics, by the way, are also ruled by Aquarius. In February of 1964, The Beatles made their first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, drawing a record 73.7 million viewers. The crazed audience clearly depicts the "Beatlemania" phenomenon in full swing. But how do The Beatles relate to Saturn's transit through Aquarius? First off, The Beatles were one of the first mainstream groups to market to the younger generation of teenagers rather than to their parents. This was a big shift in the music industry, as typically it was the older audience with all the spending power, whereas now, young teenage girls were a powerful force in the music market. Though their earlier songs avoided heavier social topics, it became obvious later in their career that The Beatles were a huge part of the birth of counterculture and anti-establishment ideas. In 1964, when the band was informed that a venue they were scheduled to perform at in Florida in the US was segregated, they refused to play unless the audience was integrated. Many more conservative countries refused to allow The Beatles to perform at all, in fear that their progressive counterculture ideas would "infect" their younger population. Even the USA attempted to ban all British acts in 1965, as they saw their emerging rock 'n' roll culture as "dangerous" to the youth of the nation. The Beatles were also highly progressive in their music style, and incorporated many new and unusual recording techniques into their albums. This ongoing theme of progressive thinking and "peace and love" apparent in the music of The Beatles is very in line with the nature of Aquarius.

Later, in the early 1990s, grunge bands were the new emerging music trend. A number of grunge rock bands all released major hit albums around the same time - right around Saturn's transit through rebellious Aquarius. In 1991, Pearl Jam released their debut album Ten, followed by Nirvana releasing their second album Nevermind, and then Soundgarden with Badmotorfinger - all within a span of two months! All three albums were incredibly successful, and resonated strongly with the Aquarian counterculture and anti-establishment ideas brought out by the earlier generation in the early 1960s. Then in 1992, Alice in Chains released their second studio album, Dirt, which is considered by many to be their best work. Also released in 1992, Stone Temple Pilots debuted with their first studio album, Core, which received mixed reviews, though it went on to win a Grammy in 1994 for Best Hard Rock Performance. Nirvana received a lot of attention and success in the early 90s as well, and Kurt Cobain was dubbed "the voice of a generation" by many. Similar to The Beatles influence on counterculture, Kurt Cobain's darker lyrical content touched many listeners hearts on a deeper level than the earlier hair metal had been able to.

In the next few years in music, we're likely to see younger emerging artists, similar to Billie Eilish, who has an Aquarius Moon, taking over the scene with some revolutionary new ideas and social commentary in their lyrics.

Though Aquarius is a masculine sign, I've also noticed a pattern with emerging feminist movements during these transits, due to the focus on equal human rights. The second wave of feminism began picking up speed around 1963, when two major works of feminist writing were published - The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, and The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan. Both works were largely critical of the typical role of a female in 1960s society - that of the domestic housekeeper/mother figure. These works encouraged women to pursue careers they felt passionately about for the first time. Also in 1963, journalist Gloria Steinem became a prominent figure in feminist culture after going undercover as a Playboy Bunny and revealing the poor treatment and underpayment of the waitresses at the Playboy Club.

In the early 1990s, during Saturn's next transit through Aquarius, the third wave of feminism began to emerge. While second-wave feminism dealt primarily with issues surrounding equal opportunities for [predominantly white] women in the workplace, this third wave of feminism dealt with issues regarding intersectional feminism, violence against women and reproductive/sexual freedom. A trend of reclaiming "derogatory" female terms (for example - bitch, slut, whore) began largely with the Riot grrrl movement in punk music, popularized by female-constructed bands like Bikini Kill and Bratmobile, as a way of expressing feminine identity on their own terms.

Another theme I noticed through Saturn's transit of Aquarius in the early 1960s was a theme of national independence and freedom. In August of 1962, the colony of Jamaica became independent, freeing Jamaicans from the United Kingdom after 300 years of British rule. In October that same year, Uganda also became independent from the UK. Then in 1963, Kenya declared independence from the UK as well. Meanwhile, in the Dominican Republic and Zanzibar both experienced major revolutions during this time frame, in search of freedom. This trend continued in the early 90s, with many countries, including Lithuania, Ukraine, Latvia and Estonia, all declaring their independence from the USSR in 1991.

It's likely that we will see many more uprisings and movements towards independence, including the USA's Pluto return in 2022/2023, which is expected to be a revolutionary moment for the history of the country, over the course of the next few years.

These are the kinds of themes we are likely to see re-emerging until March 2023, while Saturn roams through free-spirited Aquarius. Technological innovations are going to be increasingly involved with our lives, as the internet of things develops further. Television will trend towards witty humor and social criticism, as it did the previous few times Saturn was in Aquarius. Civil rights movements will be center stage, writing more groundbreaking history into our textbooks, while the future leans towards gender queer/female figures of color, rather than in favor of the cis-gender/heterosexual white male. Music will take on its own social commentary within the industry, perhaps birthing a new genre of sorts. Independence of the individual as well as the nation will be stressed in the coming years. Saturn feels confident in this sign, and we should too, moving forward into Saturn's "Age of Aquarius" with hope for a better future.

If you enjoyed reading this post, feel free to buy me a coffee here!

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tblpress · 4 years ago

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The day before James Spader won an Emmy for his portrayal of Alan Shore, the morally dubious lawyer on “The Practice,” the actor was at the Franklin D. Murphy Sculpture Garden at UCLA, admiring the statues -- especially the female forms. “Look at the beautiful curve of her back, right at the base of her spine,” he said, noticing a dancer at the top of Robert Graham’s “Dance Columns.” “It’s the most perfect curve in nature.” Then Spader felt a breeze and started ambling in the other direction. “I just want to walk into it,” he explained. “Oh, my God, that is nice.”

The sculpture garden, a favorite hideaway of Spader’s, brought out in him a charming mix of formality and earthiness. When Gaston Lachaise’s bronze powerhouse “Standing Woman” caught his eye, the memories rushed out. “My sons, when they were growing up, always enjoyed her rather ample” -- here he used a word not proper for this newspaper but that means “derriere” -- “and her rather ample breasts,” he said. The boys, Sebastian, now 15, and Ellijah, 12, would come here with their scooters. “So you come around,” Spader explained, “and lo and behold, you have that beautiful” -- that word again -- “over there. You can hardly resist scootering by and giving her a poke. She has nice calves too. She’s ample everywhere. She’s spectacular.”

James Spader, network TV star: To anyone familiar with the 44-year-old actor and his work, it sounds almost absurd. With the outre air of highbrow naughtiness and deep but slightly distracted intelligence he’s been known for since his 1989 big-screen breakthrough in “sex, lies, and videotape,” Spader could hardly have cooked up a more improbable career move. And yet starting tonight on “Boston Legal,” the new David E. Kelley show spun off from “The Practice,” TV viewers will get a weekly taste of the actor who has specialized in finding an endearing human side to wealthy school bullies, creepy cocaine dealers and sensuous sadomasochists.

Spader headed toward a section of the UCLA campus blanketed by California sycamores that he and his sons, he said, often climb and swing from. “See that?” he asked, pushing a branch down. “This is a perfect perching spot. I’d do it more aggressively, but there’s people around and it makes them nervous.”

Making people nervous is, of course, a Spader trademark.

“When we first went to the network about James, they shrieked in horror,” Kelley said. “James Spader is not a network face. They didn’t think he was the kind of persona American audiences would want to welcome into the living room on a weekly basis. But once we began to focus on him, he was the only choice. What James does so well is there’s a nucleus to this character that is humane and decent. He manages to let that nucleus shine through even when he’s committing egregious, contemptible acts. You don’t know if you like him or not, but you can’t wait to see him next.”

Kelley hired Spader to play the brilliant agitator whose dirty ways forced the firm of Young, Frutt and Berluti on “The Practice” to close its doors last year, after ABC slashed the show’s budget, forcing Kelley to fire half his cast. Spader, whose most recent television appearance had been a guest spot on “Seinfeld” in 1997, was supposed to play Alan Shore only long enough to shake things up.

“The goal in the beginning was to bring new life to the show, and the luxury we had as storytellers was that we didn’t have to protect the character for the sake of a long series run,” Kelley said. “You can only do so many things with a character that are overtly unlikable and still keep him redeeming and a character that people want to tune into and cheer for. Since we didn’t have that burden, we could swing away with him.”

The high-end firm of Crane, Poole and Schmidt might prove a better fit for Shore, who will be surrounded by other conniving legal eagles, including William Shatner as his boss, Denny Crane, and colleagues played by a cast including Rhona Mitra, Lake Bell, Monica Potter and Mark Valley. Alan Shore, Kelley promised, will “defy this law firm as he defies the conventions of regular characters on television.”

“When we watch James, there’s a lot of unknown complicated stuff in his mind, but we don’t know what that stuff is,” said Steve Shainberg, who directed Spader in “Secretary” (2002). “There’s something very unusual about him we can’t put our finger on, but that makes it more intriguing and exciting -- God help us.”

Yet for all the unpredictability that comes across on screen, Spader’s “Boston Legal” co-stars described him as meticulous, exact and particular on set.

“He’s always looking for the truth of the moment, and he gets fidgety when it’s not there,” said Shatner, who won a guest actor Emmy for his portrayal of Crane on “The Practice.” “He becomes as recalcitrant as a donkey until he can find the right way to deliver a line. He never says a word that doesn’t seem to come from the organic character. That’s because James himself is a little weird. But we love him for it.”

The Un-Brat Pack career

Two days after Spader nabbed the top acting award for a drama series, beating out television heavy hitters James Gandolfini, Martin Sheen, Kiefer Sutherland and Anthony LaPaglia, he was on the “Boston Legal” set at Raleigh Studios in Manhattan Beach. Three episodes of the show were being shot simultaneously, and he had found no time yet to contemplate his win. The Emmy, he said, was tucked away in a corner full of boxes as Spader, who recently separated from his wife, Victoria, waited to move into a new house.

“I was surprised at how quickly I lost the feeling of stunned confusion and ignorant bliss and how quickly it turned into work and pragmatism,” Spader said. “The award doesn’t mean anything to me -- and I don’t mean that in a derogatory sense. I just haven’t had time to go there yet. Even when my older son called to congratulate me, we moved rather swiftly on to the subject of an upcoming concert” -- the Pixies at the Greek Theatre -- “and the best way to score tickets, which is a much more constructive conversation for us.”

Like other actors who started taking shape in the ‘80s, Spader could easily have cultivated a Brat Pack aura. Instead, he went for a more original brand of alienation, playing seemingly WASPY characters with a devious air and an anti-WASPY erotic charge to them. The roles he took in movies such as “White Palace” (1990), “The Music of Chance” (1993), “Stargate” (1994) and “Crash” (1996) didn’t always hit big but always set him apart -- none more so than “Secretary,” in which Spader played E. Edward Grey, a lawyer who draws his self-mutilating young secretary into a joyful S&M; relationship.

“James is very formal and specific and respectful,” said Maggie Gyllenhaal, his costar. “I remember when we shot a five-page scene in which Mr. Grey asks me not to cut myself anymore, James noticed and responded to everything I did: every breath I took, every shift of my gaze, every movement of my hand. His work is very specific.”

And that, according to Camryn Manheim, who starred on “The Practice” for eight years, can be intimidating. “After you saw ‘Secretary,’ wouldn’t you be scared to go on a date with him?” Manheim said, laughing.

“I was scared of him,” she added. “He’s weird and strange and eccentric, and I mean a lot of that in the very best way. He plays all of these sexually charged characters. He looks at you too hard, like he’s got your number. But behind all of that, he’s a very simple man who is very thoughtful and insightful about the world and humanity.”

Confronted with the praise of his colleagues, Spader took a deep breath and looked skeptical. “Maybe this thing they are describing is just obsessive-compulsive. It just seems to be what the job is, to just try and get the right intention of whatever ... you’re saying. Who is to say if whether what you end up tumbling toward is the right place when you’re standing on your feet in the middle of it? I’ve had a lot of fun acting, and that’s been the only reason to continue doing it.”

Spader, who dropped out of the 11th grade to pursue acting in New York, attributes his interest in acting to the love of storytelling he inherited from his family. The son of teachers Todd and Jean Spader, the actor grew up with two sisters on the campus of Phillips Academy, a fancy Massachusetts prep school. “My father was an English teacher and he taught literature and poetry, and my parents would read aloud and my grandparents read aloud,” Spader said. “My grandfather would write stories and we would make up little plays to read and perform during the holidays. There was always a tremendous amount of humor in all the households I spent time in.”

But there were other reasons for wanting to become an actor. “I started doing theater when I started thinking of nothing but girls,” he said. “I can’t imagine that the two don’t relate. I don’t mean to be glib. In sports and in many other areas, girls and boys are separated. But in theater, you’re all mixed in together. How can it get any better than that?”

Being an actor, for Spader, has never been about celebrity. The press tent for interviews with winners at the Emmys came as a surprise and an “indignity,” he said jokingly. When someone at the Governors Ball on Emmy night remarked how rare it is that Spader has succeeded at being famous and simultaneously living a private life, the actor was incredulous.

“I don’t try to be mysterious,” Spader explained later. “I just protect my private life very carefully. I don’t go out a great deal. To see and be seen I could care less about. I don’t go to see movies at big premieres. If I go out, I go to a quiet place for a meal or I might go to listen to live music with a whole lot of people who are more interested in listening to the music than who is sitting next to them at the show.”

His new TV world

Spader may be on his way to television stardom, but he has never followed a television show from beginning to end -- the way he hopes viewers of “Boston Legal” will.

“That’s something I had no concept of,” Spader said. “Working on the show, I was experiencing the same anticipation for what was going to happen from week to week as the people who were watching it. When you do a film, you know what is going to happen to your character from start to finish. I knew very little about Alan Shore at the end of last season, and I still don’t. I like that constant shift because what I like the most about all of this is the telling of the story.”

What he likes the least is the fuss. He refused to hire a stylist for Emmy night, picking out his tuxedo and shoes himself. He did not prepare a speech. When his name was announced, Spader charmed the crowd by complimenting the women in the room: “You’ve all made wonderful choices in shoes and dresses tonight, and you all look absolutely beautiful.”

“I realized I was going to have to put together some sentences quickly and I wasn’t going to be yet another person to make a music joke,” Spader said. “It worked so well when the gentleman from ‘Arrested Development’ made the singing reference, but I knew that that couldn’t be used again, and certainly not by me. I really don’t have any idea what ... I was saying. Certainly, during the course of the four hours that I was there I had spent enough time admiring women’s shoes and dresses and how well they filled them.”

But as offhand as he may be about that trophy, it’s fitting somehow that Spader will be in the rare position of starting his new gig already having won an Emmy for the role. To his surprise as much as anyone’s, the TV gods have smiled on him. “Does anybody have any illusions about the fact that the Emmys come at the beginning of the television season? The timing seems precise to me,” he said. “And I think it’s grand.”

#james spader #interview #2004 #james spader quote #la times #boston legal #the practice #alan shore #james spader press #link #article

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squeeneyart · 4 years ago

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Breathe in the Salt - Chapter 11

AO3

Beta read by @thesnadger!

Martin wants to do the right thing.

It's time to make some phone calls.

Martin resigned himself to a day of catch up. The recent circumstances hadn’t been the most conducive to completing his work tasks, but he was employed for the time being. He would wait for the right time to reopen the can of worms upstairs and in the meantime double down on the figures in front of him. The others went to work as well, going through the records they recovered from the library and verifying some information from the storage house.

After some time, he heard Sasha ask, “Martin? This place used to be a bigger fishing town, right? Before the Lukases showed up.”

Martin thought for a moment. “I don’t think it was that great to begin with? I’m sure they didn’t help, but the problem started long before I was born. There may be some people old enough to remember when things were a bit better, but it’s always been a shaky business despite the proximity to the sea.” He paused, then asked, “Is there a reason you’re looking into this? Doesn’t sound very ghost-related.”

Sasha tapped her pen on the table. “It helps to get a timeline of major events. Even if there are coincidences, a broader historical picture often helps with places where the phenomena are… far reaching.”

“What, did the lighthouse eat all the fish?” Martin laughed, but it quickly died as he continued to think about it. “...Could it do that?”

“Doubtful,” Jon said, keeping his eyes glued to his laptop. “It’s possible the family saw an existing, natural decline in job prospects and swooped in to create an even bigger vacuum they could then fill. Nothing supernatural, just horrid people finding a good opportunity.”

Tim snorted. “While they just so happened to buy and operate a possessed lighthouse?”

Jon looked over his screen. “People can have multiple motivations. For example, Peter Lukas apparently enjoys boating and taking the possessions of others for the fun of it. The two aren’t necessarily related.” His eyes dropped back to his task.

“Fair enough. Maybe someone in the family won it in a bet, then? Swiped it from some evil lighthouse keeper.” Tim wiggled his fingers.

Martin laughed silently through his nose and went back to work, assuming his part of the conversation was completed. If he’d learned anything from the situation earlier that morning, it was to quit before weird personal details about his deadbeat fisherman dad came out and ruined the mood.

The three continued to debate possible motivations and causes, eventually trailing off and lapsing into a focused silence. The scratches of pen on paper mingled with the tapping of the keyboard. It created an arrangement that echoed over itself in a round, filling the space and tunneling upward along the staircase. Despite himself, Martin strained to hear anything that felt out of place, but he could feel no intent in the repetition. It was loud, but it was the normal, unnerving loud he’d become accustomed to over the last few months.

There wouldn’t be anything, as long as he kept the dial in the correct position. Not anything he could perceive, anyway. Were they listening, even if they couldn’t stockpile his words? Were they seething at his decision? Were they-

Martin gritted his teeth, willing himself to focus on the page in front of him. The group would call Naomi soon, and if she responded they would be one step closer to confirming his suspicions. For the time being, he would sit with his churning insides and wait.

Relief came at eleven with his lunch hour, which the others were considerate enough to wait for. He barely tasted the sandwich he’d thrown together that morning. There was a heightened atmosphere spread across him and the others, a buzz of excitement. After hours of necessary but tedious paperwork and discussion, it was time again for action.

Sasha dialed the number and waited, drumming her fingers on a pad of paper in front of her. “Available number,” she mouthed, giving a thumbs up. A few seconds passed, and she frowned and ended the call. “But, of course, it is no longer her number. I would change mine too, if people were tailing me.”

They all slumped in their chairs and braced themselves for a long, slow afternoon as Sasha looked at her pad of paper and dialed the first number on the list of many, many Naomi Hernes.

Some answered with varying levels of politeness, mostly responding with “never heard of the place” or “the name doesn’t ring any bells”. Otherwise, she left a short, scripted voicemail giving little information other than Evan’s name in hopes that Naomi would take the bait. She kept their institute out of it entirely.

When asked why, Sasha explained that this part of the investigation would have to be off record. Evidently, the Magnus Institute encouraged thorough research until it involved digging into its own benefactors. Unless they discovered a lead that didn’t implicate the Lukas family, they would be on their own.

The minutes ticked on, dragging more and more with the lack of success. After thirty minutes of fruitless calls, Sasha said, “It may take a while. We don’t know her schedule or if she’s even on this list. I was able to go off her last recorded location, but that’s about it.” Sasha leaned back in her chair, stretching her shoulders.

Jon pulled his laptop back in front of him. “We’ll need to give her time. If she’s aware of the Lukases keeping tabs on her, she’ll probably be wary of us. Keep going through the list. Tim and I will continue with the rest.”

Martin sat around for the rest of his lunch hour, losing hope with each passing call. He ought to have considered how long it could take to reach her, or that she might not answer at all. Why would she? What reason did she really have to trust a bunch of strangers?

He looked down at his phone, mindlessly flipping between apps before settling on his notes. Under Naomi’s old number was the one for Evan’s mobile, locked safely away in the storage house. Running his thumb up and down the side of his phone, he peeked up at the others through his bangs.

“I know we’re waiting to hear back from Naomi, but-” They looked at him, and he swallowed hard. “We know who it probably is, right? We have something he would know, and we could even-”

“Sorry, Martin, but that’s a big ‘no’ from me,” Tim said, crossing his arms. “If it’s him, he can wait a bit longer. If it’s not, then there could be something bad on the other side that we’re not ready to deal with, something that might even pretend to be him given the opportunity.”

There was an edge to his voice that made Martin shrink sheepishly in his seat. Tim’s face grew soft. “You want to help. I get it, but we should play it safe for now. Once we’re certain of the situation, we’ll do the heroic thing and release his trapped soul or get him out of the sound booth he’s locked himself in or whatever it is that needs to be done.”

Martin nodded glumly and looked back at his phone. After a moment, a notification popped up on the screen.

Tim: and if we get him out and hes as hot as they say he was, then who knows ;)

All the tension in Martin’s shoulders was released with a high-pitched snicker that his hand failed to stifle. The other two turned their gazes on him. Martin’s ears turned beet red at the attention he’d brought upon himself. Jon shot a suspicious glance at Tim, whose broad smile denied nothing.

By twenty minutes to four, there had been no sign of the person they were hoping for, ignoring one response by someone who thought they were being hilarious. Martin had only one task remaining before it was time to leave, and once his things were carefully packed away he walked over to the stairs and placed a hand on the rail. From behind him came the sound of chairs squeaking against hard tile.

Looking over his shoulder, he saw the three had all risen from their seats and were shooting surprised looks at each other.

Martin sighed. “I’m just going up for my normal work stuff. I won’t be touching anything I’m not supposed to.” Not that the thought hadn’t crossed his mind, but if he’d wanted to do anything there in secret, which he didn’t, there was no point in doing so when other people in the building could hear every amplified word.

“Well, I’ll be coming up anyway. Might as well get a better look at what buttons you’re pressing.” Tim jogged over, waving a hand at the other two dismissively and calling over his shoulder, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this. Keep an ear on the phone and text us if something comes up.” Jon and Sasha, who’d clearly been about to walk over and join them, sat down despite their visible apprehension. Tim started up the stairs, leaving Martin to trail behind.

Before long, Tim began to rely more and more on the handrail to keep his balance. About halfway up the stairs, he held up a hand for Martin to stop and dropped his head.

“Okay,” he said, flexing his grip on the rail. He took a moment to breath. “Okay, I’m good. Damn this place, though.”

When they reached the top, Tim faced the stairs and, at a regular speaking volume, said, “Hello? Tim Stoker to Boss Man.” He waited, then checked his phone. “Huh. Guess sound does have limits in this place. Good to know.” Tim smiled at Martin. “Let’s see those switches, then.”

Martin could see that Tim’s eye was just as drawn to the dial as Martin’s as they approached the panel. Martin slowed down his process, taking care to show Tim what he was doing with the different buttons and knobs, and Tim seemed to be taking notes on his phone.

“If it would help, I have a list of everything I do up here on my desk. My handwriting isn’t the best, but it’s legible.” Martin continued to complete the steps without thinking, allowing muscle memory to take over. “Not that I’ve looked at it super recently. I also have the version in my work contract? But that would have to wait ‘til tomorrow.”

Tim nodded, shoving his phone in his pocket. “Sounds like a plan. Who knows, maybe there’s a hidden ‘I cede my right to file a claim against any injury due to imprisoned spirits’ clause or something in the fine print.” Martin laughed weakly but said nothing. Leaning on the side of the panel, Tim looked at him. “You really think it’s the guy? Evan?”

Martin’s finger slipped, missing a button entirely. “...Yeah. I can’t think of anything else it could be? And I get it, there are some things I don’t know about-”

“Lots of things, actually. Look,” Tim stood up straight, crossing his arms. “I’m not usually the lecturing type, but you seem like a well-meaning guy, and this thing could very well be taking that from your voice and turning it back on you.” There was an unmistakable discomfort, though Tim was doing his best to look authoritative. “You’re not used to this stuff, but most of it ends up being not so nice.”

Resuming his task, Martin looked down and asked, “Have you ever… studied something like that?”

From the corner of Martin’s eye, he could see Tim shift a bit and lean against the panel again. “They’re something I’ve worked on, yeah.”

After a final flip of a switch, Martin looked back at Tim whose gaze was firmly centered on the window. Martin rolled his fingertips on the surface of the panel. “Any personal experiences or advice? For my benefit?”

Tim took some time to think, and without taking his eyes from the window responded, “If you can shut them up, make sure they stay that way.” Tim let out a breath through his nose. “And if someone’s got by one, chances are they won’t be kept alive. Once a copy is made, there’s no reason to keep the original.”

The bitter twinge in Tim’s voice warned against the questions forming on the tip of Martin’s tongue. If Tim was talking from experience, the specifics were none of Martin’s business.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Tim shook his head. “So, since I was the one who turned the dial, do me a favor and keep away from it?” When Martin nodded in agreement, Tim uncrossed his arms and pushed himself off the panel. “Good. It’s a deal then. Now, when we get back down, we can pretend to have had a riveting talk about how fish hate your town.”

Once they were back on the main floor, disappointment washed over Martin. “Was it too much to expect anything back so soon?” He looked through his bag, making sure he hadn’t forgotten anything.

“You get used to it.” Sasha paused from collecting some papers to watch him sulk in his corner. “Can’t tell you how many follow-up calls I’ve made that led to nothing.”

“Or all the numbers we’ve gotten that were for takeout places,” Jon grumbled.

“I dunno, I’ve been pretty lucky with numbers.” Tim winked at Sasha, who shoved some of the papers into his arms.

Martin smiled, though Tim’s comment reeked of forced levity. He zipped up his bag and walked to the door. “Let me know if anything comes up?”

“Of course.” Jon pushed himself out of his chair and walked at a brisk pace to meet him. “Could I have a word with you, before you head home?” He opened the door and gestured outside.

“Oh. Sure?” He avoided Tim’s very pointed eye contact and walked through the door. Jon followed behind with his arms wrapped around himself, his thin, long-sleeved shirt doing nothing for him in the cold. “Do you need to-”

“I’ll be back inside in a moment.” His stubbornness did nothing to protect him from the shivers. “About tonight.”

With all excitement and distraction gone, the weight that had been balancing precariously in Martin’s chest dropped to his stomach like a lead ball. “Is there a way to make this not horrible?”

Jon frowned. “I don’t know the full circumstances, but ultimately, I believe you’ll be doing the right thing.” He placed a tentative hand on Martin’s shoulder and gave it a stiff pat. He immediately retracted his hand and wrapped it back around himself, keeping his eyes on anything but Martin. “You know her better than I do. I’m sure you’ll be able to handle it.”

Martin clung to that confidence and the feeling of pressure from Jon’s hand. “Okay...” He took a large breath. “Okay. I should get going then. No point in putting it off.”

Jon nodded his head and hurried back inside, leaving Martin to walk home with more courage than he’d managed to gather for himself. As the sun drifted closer to its exit, Martin latched onto that little encouragement and thought of what to say.

“Hi, Mum. I found your skin? No, that sounds weird-”

“I know there are things I don’t understand, but-”

“Mum, I found this in the attic. I know it’s yours. Do you want to-”

“A guy from work said to give you this? Wait, no-”

And so he continued, muttering under his breath all the ways he could broach the subject without it being a complete disaster.

This could change things.

Would she scream? He’d never heard her truly scream. It wasn’t her way, but this could unlock something so much worse than he’d known. How dare he bring this to her if she’d hidden it for a good reason? That seemed a likely reaction.

Would she talk to him about her time in the water? Would she reminisce about a time before things went wrong, when he would watch her from the porch? Too hopeful to consider, but nice to think about.

Perhaps she would tell him to return it to the attic, and it would never be spoken of again. Things would be as they always were, just with a new secret to hang over them both. Another weight on their shoulders, another little barrier keeping them from being anything but what they had been for decades now.

Jon had said it would be the right thing to do. He would know about these things more than Martin, right? His word had to be worth something. No matter how she might react, this had to happen sooner or later.

The walk home sped past like nothing. The front door was before him, and then closed behind, and he felt more than ever like he was on a track, being moved from place to place without any consultation of his will. The night proceeded like clockwork, dinner prepared and completed with only his voice and the occasional terse response from his mother for filler noise. It wasn’t yet time.

The fog had rolled in thick as evening turned to night, and they looked out into it from the front porch, her breaths steady and bracing. Through his barely open eyes, Martin saw a hint of rolling waves before the salt brought out the tears and washed away his vision.

He walked his mother back inside and helped her prepare for bed. Once she was settled against the headboard, Martin coughed and began in a low, gentle tone. “Mum. Can I talk to you about something?”

She frowned, tired contempt rippling across her face. “Must you now? You’ve had all night to talk.”

Martin clenched and unclenched his teeth. “It’s important. Please, it’s...it’s about something I found in the attic.”

His mother froze, her hand gripping the quilt on her lap. Annoyance gave way to a wide, blank stare that brushed just over his shoulder. “I did not ask you to retrieve anything from there.”

Martin shrank back. “Yes, I know. I just went up to make sure there hadn’t been a-any issues with the roof after some of the rain recently since we keep some things in storage up there, and I wanted t-”

“Bring it to me. Now.” Her voice was quiet, almost too quiet for him to hear.

“Oh. Right. Of course.” Martin stood too quickly, grabbing the rickety bedside table for balance and causing a loud thump as one of its legs slammed into the ground. The dim lamp on top of it wobbled, creating unnerving shadows on the walls. He winced. “Sorry. I’ll be right back.”

He left the room and let himself breathe. Okay, he thought, this was a good thing. He walked up the stairs two at a time with his long legs, speeding down the hall while keeping his footsteps as quiet as possible. She wanted him to bring it to her. He would do as she ordered. Everything would be okay, he told himself, ignoring the strange sinking feeling in his gut.

It was where he’d left it, folded loosely in the corner to avoid any possible creasing. It pressed heavily into his hands, and he brushed off a little more dust as he walked back down the stairs. At his mother’s door, he paused and adjusted it one more time to a position he felt was the most dignified. Then, he entered the room.

She was looking out her window, through the misted glass and into the fog that surrounded their home. Her hands were limp over the quilt, one placed gently on top of the other. When the door clicked shut behind him, there was an almost imperceptible turn of her head, though he couldn’t see anything but her clenched jaw.

“Mum? I’ve brought it. Do you want me to place it on the bed? I-”

His mother turned to face him fully, and as her eyes locked onto him a torrent of pure fury slammed into his chest. He stumbled, the selkie skin almost escaping his large, clumsy hands.

“Give it to me.” Her rasping voice made Martin’s throat hurt, and her neck seemed to throb with effort. When he failed to move his legs, she forced out, “now, you stupid man!”

He tripped forward, and when he was within reach she snatched the skin from him. She clasped it to her chest just as Jon had that morning, with the same smoothing motion over its surface. Unsure of what to say, he became a statue. Every muffled intake of air burned down into his chest.

Taking in a shuddering breath, his mother whispered, “Leave.”

“What?” There was a painful crack in his voice.

“Leave me alone.”

The only thing he could see were his own near-faded footsteps as he climbed up the cliff side, the fog doing well to obscure the surrounding foliage.

He needed to be out of the damned fog. That’s why he’d fled the house, and the beach, and the crashing waves. That’s all it was down there, a house adrift in grey nothing, and he was too loud of a presence to truly give her solitude with his tramping feet on the floorboards upstairs.

It was past sundown when he reached the end of his climb, and the corner lights looked as much as they had the night before. As they had on any other night he’d spent wandering the dark, emptying streets. Pulling his coat more tightly around himself, Martin marched forward, drawn to the only other place to which he had a key.

He looked up before he could think too hard about it, and the sky bore down on him until all he could do was fall back into the gaping pit waiting just behind his heel. Had it felt like this before? Yes, it had, hadn’t it? A giant emptiness in the ground waiting to swallow him whole, and as he had seen it, so from it the vertigo had come. Only now it was polite enough to slow down and let him see the horror below.

He woke up on the ground with a groan, just outside of the florist shop. It was closed for the night, and there was no one inside or out to stare as he lifted himself out of a puddle, the arm of his coat soaked through with water. He was halfway through trying to regain some semblance of focus when he realized his glasses had fallen from his nose and were now lying on the ground beside him.

Relieved that his impaired vision was no worse than usual, he reached over to pick up his glasses. As he did so, he glimpsed at the water’s surface, and for just a moment the blurry vision of his face looked just enough like someone else. He gasped, snatching his glasses and scrambling to sit on the curb.

She’d never called Martin that. She’d had other ways of showing her frustration with him, but that… that had been for someone else. Of course. He hadn’t even thought to warn her of his re-entry, so he had gone into her room and with just that lamp by her bed the doorway must’ve been so dark-

The pounding in his head grew more fervent, and he curled into himself until he faced the ground, head between his knees. As the minutes crawled by, the pain began to subside, and eventually he was able to stand, even if there was a slight shake to his legs.

“Twenty years and still you don’t learn.”

He continued without reason, thankful for the empty road ahead, his arm going cold in its dripping sleeve.

#tma #the magnus archives #breathe in the salt #martin blackwood #jonathan sims #sasha james #timothy stoker #peter lukas #fanfic #au fanfic #selkie au #jonmartin

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