#and i really really struggled to let it go throughout EW

[littlelordalphinaud]

Spoilers for the Eden Raids

I recently helped my daughter get through the Eden Raids and something that stands out to me is one of the fights in the final book of the raids, where the enemy is made from Ryne.

There's plenty of influences in the design, but what are the key two?

Ranjit and Thancred!

It's explicitly stated that this is made from her fears.

I don't doubt that Ryne loves Thancred. I also don't doubt that Thancred loves Ryne. But I also think that she was afraid of him, after the first conversation with the original Minfilia, after Thancred found out he could have his Minfilia back and his behaviour changed.

In a post I'm sure I'll eventually write (doubt) I wanna talk about how we're genuinely so lucky that Ryne is as functional as she is with what she's lived through as a child, and Thancreds selfishness only made that harder.

One thing that really gets me about Urianger comforting Minfilia in Amh Araeng is that when she says Thancred hates her, Urianger never actually says, no, he doesn't. He says instead, none of this is your fault, and the original Minfilia wouldn't hold anything against you, and in typical Urianger form he says some things about fate and faith, and his words are kind and beautiful--but he also completely sidesteps the question of how Thancred feels about her.

And I think this moment is very reflective of Urianger's relationship to Thancred and child!Minfilia as a whole. It reflects what we see when we first see all of them together in Il Mheg.

Urianger knows that the way Thancred behaves toward the girl is hurting her. He's spent enough time around the two of them to see that plainly. Theoretically, he could say something to Thancred about it; they're obviously close friends, and if Thancred was going to value anyone's opinion, it would be his. But he doesn't say anything, because he still feels guilty and responsible for all of it: about their Minfilia going to the First and what happened to her there, and thus for what both Thancred and child!Minfilia are going through now. Even though Thancred has never outright blamed him for it (however he may feel privately, which I think is hard to say), it seems like Urianger still feels like he has no right to say anything.

So he tries to compensate instead. He's kind to Minfilia, connects with her in his own way and gives her books, and by the time we see them together he's obviously become something of a familial figure to her. I would say that he and Thancred aren't so much raising her together as they're doing it... around one another. Thancred is gruff and cold and holds Minfilia at arm's length emotionally so that his protectiveness comes off harshly even when it's well-meant, and Urianger dotes on her and tries to make up for it all while avoiding the actual problem.

So that conversation in Amh Araeng is both touching and maddening to me, and it really drives home what's maddening about it when, upon overhearing it, the Warrior of Light turns to Thancred to ask him if he has anything to say to Minfilia--who has just said, out loud, that she thinks Thancred wishes she was dead--and Thancred just says, "Not today."

And so they both go on avoiding the actual problem, for just a little longer.

[omgwhatchloe]

lets talk about sean macguire, or more specifically, his none-existent recovery and how it affected him before his death.

so as we all know, sean is captured by bounty hunters after the blackwater ship robbery goes horribly wrong. it’s confirmed in a side mission that he was tortured for information, most likely because ike skelding and his crew wanted to be the ones to bring dutch in as well, but he specifically mentions how they burnt his feet and pulled his teeth.

lets start with the affect of them pulling his teeth: it doesn’t take a genius to know ike skeldings bounty hunters are not fully trained dentists with numbing cream and injects, nor did they actually care about any of the long-lasting damage they were doing to sean, since they assumed he’d be getting hung and wanted to have their fun with him. that was the whole point, to torture him because any teeth related pain, i think we can all agree, is the worst of the worst. afterwards, he is seen struggling to eat, i think at least multiple people online have said they have noticed how he will only have one or two bites, or even none at all, and pour away the mostly full stew. i haven’t bothered to focus on anyone else’s eating habits, if im being honest, but i think i really picked up on seans because of the fact hes trying to eat with missing and likely damaged teeth. as we know, no one in camp really bothers to ask him if he’s okay or pick up on this, but this is not surprising as after all they are just codes and scripts and no voice actor has the time to record their characters entire life.

next, the feet burning: the fact they burnt his feet implies to me and gives me the idea that he was hanging from his arms at some point in his time of being captured and they had pretty clear access to his feet (ew). in camp, i did actually notice him walking funny like he was drunk, then having completely sober dialogue while limping along. though of course this game is not without its faults and glitches, and dialogue getting messed up is, in my opinion, one of the most experienced ones throughout the entire game, so perhaps this was him being drunk and accidentally having sober dialogue. but im going to pretend its because they burnt his feet.

his none-existent recovery: i actually spoke about this on a different platform, and compared the recovery that arthur had to the one sean had, which they both deserved, and lets just say some people disagreed. according to them, a party is good enough! despite the fact, sean needs to heal, or at least get the chance to see a doctor, and a party is literally the opposite of healing time. he has just been kidnapped, certain he wasn’t going to make it, getting tortured, and mentally that’s going to fuck with you. but again, no one in camp really cares or notices and he doesn’t get to really actually recover from that. obviously sean was not upset about getting a party in the slightest, dont get me wrong, but for other users to claim that’s all he needs while we’re discussing it just seems a little weird to me. and something that has always upset me is the way he is immediately put back to work, that is what i mean when i say he does not get to recover properly, he is straight back on guard duty. and we all know guard duty involves being on your feet for hours, which is especially bad for poor sean who has just had his feet burnt. seriously, give my man a break (NEWSFLASH: A PARTY IS NOT A BREAK IN THIS SITUATION)

anyways, expect another post about his napping and sleeping habits because i honestly can’t wait to write about that (watch out hosea you’re gunna get slandered)

[peanutbutterwrites]

My Good Looking Boy - Part One

warnings for series: angst, struggles with self worth and self esteem, issues with appearance, childhood trauma, and mentions of death and murder.

summary: taking place after the southern raiders, zuko and katara finally learn to understand each other a bit more and long held on to feelings come to the surface. the gaang go and watch the ember island play and chaos ensues with katara's feelings.

part one - part two

authors note: here is the awaited first part! nothing crazy will happen in this part just because i'm trying to build a foundation on the slight heistance of acceptance between zuko and katara and expose the flaws in katara and aang going further into a relationship. i hope there's no major errors as i've read it a million times myself, but it is not beta read. please, let me know what you think and send me your thoughts and requests! i am open to criticism but please be kind to me lol. also let me know if you wanna be on a taglist for this series. thank you guys ~

word count: 1.8 k

Summertime in the fire nation was beautiful to see, the exotic flowers were in bloom and there was plenty to gather and hunt in the forest near camp. But one thing that summer did mean, was heat. Rays from the sun began beating down as early as six and were relentless until seven in the evening. Being a night owl meant Katara could spend a lot of her time in the cool light of the moon, late into the hours of the night. But it also meant a rude awakening when she rose at ten and it was already blisteringly hot. Groaning awake, she threw an arm to cover her eyes and felt the crease of her elbow sticky with sweat already.

“Ew, come on really?” she mumbled sleepily as she peeled the patchwork blanket from her balmy skin. Unsticking some of her hair from the nape of her neck, she rose from the tent to begin a long, hot day. Opening the curtains with a loud flap, the sun blinded her briefly before resting her eyes on the makeshift camp that the group had formed. Luckily, Sokka, Toph and Suki were all still sleeping so Katara didn’t feel too guilty about her habit of sleeping in. Yawning and making sure her wraps were tight, Katara stretched and began the laundry that she would have to do. “I need to gather food for dinner tonight, fix Suki’s blanket, teach Aang his lesson…” she mumbled, thinking out loud while she worked. As soon as she had all the blankets and clothes that needed washing, laundry was a daily occurrence thanks to the heat and dirt, she made her way down to the lake nearby camp. 

The journey there was beautiful and pleasantly uneventful, but the need for cool water spurred her on and hindered her ability to appreciate the scenery. Once she finally arrived at the beautiful lake, she waded knee deep into the water and allowed the full, woven basket to float towards her. The lake lay under the cool shade of a carved out mountain with lush greenery growing all throughout it. It was beautiful to see such life within the fire nation, Katara had always thought it would be barren and depressing. Using a long, flat rock as support for the clean clothes,  she breathed in and out as the gentle glide of her hands wove the water in and out of the fabric. The push and pull of the arm motion became therapeutic, and not too long after she began she was lost in her own thoughts. So lost in fact, she missed the rustling of the nearby leaves and the airy laughter floating its way into the clearing. 

“Yeah! It was incredible right? Oh good morning Katar-” but her attention snapped just in time for a needle-thin icicle to hover right in front of the intruder's nose. “Whoa! It's just us.” Aang said as he brushed a large plant out of his way and walked with a bounce in his step toward her. 

“Oh! I'm sorry, I was in my own world.” Katara dropped the icicle immediately in favor of returning to her former activity. “What are you doing out here? Didn’t you have practice this morning?” 

“Yes, he did.” A rich, gravely voice rang out. It was quieter than Aangs and still held some apprehension. Katara raised her head to meet golden eyes.

“Oh, hello Zuko.” she said in a quiet greeting. Relations with Zuko had been strained to say the least. Katara spent the better half of the summer hating his guts and only recently had the formed common ground with the firebender. And by recently, she meant a little over a week at most. Finally accepting that his kindness and sincerity were, well, sincere; Katara was still finding it difficult to adjust to being comfortable around Zuko. 

“Yeah! I did so great today, it was actually Zuko’s suggestion to come down here!” Aang bounded towards the water, taking off his robes in a fluid movement as he did so. Katara’s eyes flickered from Aang’s juvenile behavior with a fond smile on her face, back to Zuko. Noticing a light flush across his cheeks, 

“Zuko? Are you okay? It’s quite hot today, why don’t you get in the water?” But the color only intensified. 

“Uh yes, it is rather hot isn't it? I should get in.” Katara nodded while lightly giggling at him as he stood stiff as a board. Snorting at his behavior, she went back to focusing on the back and forth of the water she used to wash their laundry. Listening to Aang's babbling she hmm’d and oh’d in all the right spots about his stories of today’s lesson, about how wonderful he was getting at firebending. In her defense, she was fully involved in her work, focussing heavily on her job. That was, until a certain jerkbender decided to join them. Zuko derobed without any flourish, but Katara had a hard time focussing after the fact. Her breath fumbled and her heartbeat worked in a stuttering pattern. Her stomach felt awkward and didn’t it suddenly feel hotter out?  Sinking slowly into the water, Zuko waded his way over to where Katara was working, forcing her to end her gawking. What the hell were you thinking about, Katara? Get a grip! Aang’s laughter could be heard reverberating off the walls of the carved out side of the cliff where the lake formed at the bottom, and Zuko finally settled on a ledge of rock, not too far from Katara. “So,” he began, “what have you been up to?” Katara fought the urge to roll her eyes.

“Well, you know me I’m a late riser but somebody needed to get this laundry done.”

“You don’t have to do everything by yourself, I could help you know.” he said sheepishly. “I feel bad with you doing all the work around here.”

“Well at least someone acknowledges it. You know, the occasional “wow thanks Katara!” would suffice.” She ranted, clasping her hands in a prayer position while exaggeratingly batting her eyes in mock praise.

“I’m serious though, I want to help.” 

“Please, you and all your princely training isn’t going to help here.” he blushed a bright red and hung his head at the obvious statement. He had neglected to remember that to help with laundry he needed to know how to do laundry. 

“W-well, teach me Sifu Katara.” she snorted at that, but hesitantly agreed. He had stood up from his seat on the rock ledge and had a hopeful look in his eyes. As soon as her eyes deviated from his, she regretted it. One would think all the traveling and limit to food would make one malnourished, but apparently Zuko was healthy as a horse as the water dropping down his toned stomach would beg to differ. Snapping her head down to hide the fierce blush that had bloomed across her face, she slapped a wet blanket into Zuko’s chest while he waded closer. Showing the motion of pressing the fabric into a rock for non-waterbenders, Zuko began learning how to actually help. He never once complained, even when Katara snapped at him for doing it incorrectly. They stood there in comfortable silence, only the sounds of water, rubbing of fabric, and occasional bird calls with Aang’s distant laughter never ceasing. It was one of the few times Katara has actually felt peace in a while. Even alone she often found her mind wandering into undesirable thoughts. Thoughts about her mother, the war, and even the man she killed. She knew he deserved it for all the waterbenders and innocent people of her tribe he must have wounded besides her mother. But for some reason, that didn’t make killing feel any better to her. “You thinking about something?” His hoarse voice suddenly spoke. 

“Um yeah, I guess I am.” 

“You can always talk to me. I mean, if you want that is.” Katara paused, debating on if they were comfortable enough yet with each other. “Actually, you never have to talk to me about anything really. You know I don't want to push your boundaries and-”

“It's okay, Zuko. Thank you.” She gave him a small smile and the tension of his previous rambling physically exited his body as his shoulders relaxed down. 

“Well, good. Because honestly, you’re a really good friend Katara, and I don’t want to mess this up.” She offered him a soft grip on top of his hand and that slightly uncomfortable fluttering returned to her stomach. 

“You haven’t messed it up.” He smiled softly back at her, his eyes twinkling and Katara swore she could see golden light dancing in them. But suddenly, his face fell and his hand slipped out from under hers. He went back to washing the fabric and a frown found its way to Katara’s face. 

“Zuko? What’s-”

“Hey, you guys are washing out our clothes! Cool!” Aaang waded out of the water and the moment was lost. Maybe she was imagining it, but she swore she heard Zuko let out a sigh of relief.

“Well yeah, you guys have been complaining about the sweat and dirt so, here we are.” 

“Wow, really cool of you to help Zuko. You didn’t have to.” Aang said cheerfully, grabbing the finished clothes and hitting them with some gusts of wind to help dry them quickly. Katara’s frown only deepened,

“You know Aang, he didn’t have to but it would be nice if you guys helped me out a little more.” “Why? It's like your job, you know? I have to train, Zuko and Toph have to teach me, Suki has stuff to do for her people and helps you out sometimes, and Sokka is, well, Sokka. That stuff’s your thing.”

“But Aang, I teach you too.” Katara grumbled. 

“I barely need help waterbending anymore, I think it’s fine.” He shrugged while he pulled on a robe. Katara ground her teeth and had to contain herself from snapping. 

“I think she has a point, there’s nothing wrong with us all helping each other out a little more.” Zuko came to the rescue. But Aang simply shrugged, as if this conversation was no big deal at all.

“Sure, I’m heading back to camp. You guys coming?” Katara sighed and tried to keep her tone even. 

“No Aang, I’m not finished with my job.” Aang looked pointedly at Zuko.

“I'll stay with her.” 

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

Actually hang on, that AU would have so much potential.

Adora seeing Imp as her chaotic little sibling who helps out with pranks etc but might also snitch on her and Catra. Also, more internal conflict because he and Hordak are, at least on some level, family to her.

The other cadets not interacting with C and A because A is Hordak's protegee and C is SW's. Both of them are scary, so C and A really only have each other, which makes their separation in s1 only hurt more and make Catra all the more obsessed with getting Adora back bc she literally doesn't have anyone else (until Scorpia) (she could bond with Imp?)

Catra struggling to bond with Scorpia and accepting her friendship because she never had any friends outside Adora so, oops, social skills whomst? But eventually learning how to be a decent friend and growing as a person, as well as letting the sting of Adora's departure fade a little. She gets to grow as a person AWAY from Adora so that once she does join the Alliance, she is a bit more functional.

Catra worrying about Scorpia during s5.

Catra, spying at Angela interacting with Glimmer: oh ew what is this? Affection? What a cheap attempt at manipulation. -> Wait a minute, this looks... nice, actually. -> If she's the evil one, why is she such a good mom? -> Why isn't SW being this good to me? -> FUCK OFF SHADOW WEAVER YOU'RE A HORRIBLE MOM I'M OUTTA HERE.

Adora getting dragged back to the Horde in s3 and Hordak potentially acting like a disappointed father whose teenage daughter came home late from a party.

"Did you get everything out of your system? Y'know, Horde Prime would've killed me if I did what you did. You should be grateful."

[some character development later] "Hey, wait a minute... You shouldn't kill/brainwash people for doing that. HORDE PRIME IS AN ASSHOLE."

The comedy of Adora looking at Entrapta and Hordak interacting like "??????????????? HORDAK??? HAVING POSITIVE EMOTIONS??? DO I HAVE TO CALL ENTRAPTA MOM FROM NOW ON?????????"

Entrapta: I fucked your dad shitlips

Catra feeling genuinely horrible for Angela getting trapped between dimensions bc of the portal not only because she learned that Angela was good all along, but because she glimpsed what it's like to have a good mother figure and she took that away from Glimmer.

Maybe even Catra knocking some sense into Bow because he's mad that Glimmer did the stuff she did in s4. "Dude, cut her some slack. I know what it's like to be in position of authority (force captain) and it's stressful as hell. We were winning back then so you guys were losing badly and she was/is grieving. You do stupid shit when you're stressed and desperate (I would know, I made the portal happen.) So just... I'm still not 100% sure how to be a good friend so take what I say with a grain of salt but... Y'know, go easy on her."

^ character growth, shows willingness to forgive and thus bridge the gap between her and Adora. Results of being friends with Scorpia, feeling like shit when Scorpia left her, and the self reflection done throughout s4 following the "oh God I fucked up" at the end of s3.

No Melog. I'm sorry I just don't see the point. Instead, I'd really want to see Swiftwind be featured more heavily. Possibly Catra initially thinking he's weird bc she's never seen a horse before and later going "hey, you're close with Adora. Can we, uh, compare notes? I spent the last 3 seasons being her enemy and I'd like to go back to being her friend now. Help?"

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. this AU would have worked so much better than the trainwreck that we got. (also the idea of entrapta technically becoming adora's mom crossed my mind too, it would have been HILARIOUS)

[helieosphere]

Dawntrail & saying goodbye (spoilers for end of Dawntrail)

CW: death, hospitalization

Let me get this out of the way, I liked this expansion and reading the criticism online makes me feel insane. If I were to rate it against each other it would go something like this:

ARR > STB > HW/DT >> SHB > EW

You’re probably surprised HW isn’t completely smashing DT and I have pretty simple reasons for that.

1) The filler or “filler” between quests feels better and more engaging

2) the encounter design

3) the world aesthetics

HW is awesome and I think of it as a turning point for my enjoyment. But you can’t tell me Moghome, and THE ENTIRE PRINCESS ARC sucked. I hated those areas. I think my opinion will change as a slowly replay it soon but it did not sit well with me post remembrance.

Yes, the pacing this expansion was strange, glaring plot holes exist and some characters feel unnecessary but it had so many sparks of brilliance I cannot ignore. So let’s get into that starting with a very personal story of mine.

Death has always followed me throughout my life. I remember my first experience with death of a family member. It was fast, and I hadn’t realized it happened someone whom I was related to. When I saw my grandmother in Taiwan on her death bed in my mom’s childhood home at six, I didn’t quite process I’d never see her again unlike my grandfather who was in a similar situation. Death struck my life again at 12 when my aunt called my mother and I into her hospital room when she realized she was about to die from cancer. I had nowhere to turn in that moment, I had to accept that someone who had taken care of me so well was going away forever. It sure didn’t make it any better when my mom told me directly after the visit that we were the only people outside of her immediate family she wanted to see, she loved me as her own child. I knew what not to say in that moment, I felt stunted and didn’t say much. But looking back, I wish I was able to properly say goodbye. My grandfather died shortly after as well, but I had a much more intimate relationship with his death and time to feel heavily impacted by it. We had taken care of him in my childhood home, I heard the ups and downs of his health on him and my family. My grandma beat him endlessly as he sat on our bed lifeless and in pain, I’ve heard him collapse down our stairs several times over. I watched as my loving two grandparents turned into soulless husks of one another that, in the end, stuck together through thick and thin bc they loved each other. Once her was transferred to an elderly home, I knew it was the end for him but as a teenager, I felt dutiful to act strong especially considering the trauma I watched everyone around me go through. He would try and put a smile on his face every tine he saw me, and I would try and do the same, we had a language barrier of course but the love radiated off of him even in his final days. I didn’t get to see him during his last day of life, but when I finally heard he was gone, the impact of death had finally caught up to me and I screamed but didn’t cry. I felt numb to death and accepted it was a way of life. I only truly processed how much loss I’ve experienced when I reached adulthood. It was random, and sudden. I just broke down in tears as I reminisced about them and how much I missed them. The impact of their deaths still ring true to this day as I watch my grandmother still struggle to comprehend her condition years later. That is to say, when we first encounter Namika in Heritage found. I broke down sobbing for the first time this expansion. The fear of death followed me home and my desire to give her the best before her passing suddenly became more salient. Living memory only cemented that for me, knowing that with her Dementia, I have become the one of the only people she listens to anymore and loves unconditionally.

I’m not really sure if I’m ever ready to say goodbye, especially since I feel her time is nearing the end soon. But Living Menory gave me comfort and determination to confront death and feel comfort in their memory being inside me as the greatest treasure they could leave me. I’m here to live life to the fullest for myself is what endwalker taught me, and dawntrail followed up and reminded me of the people long past I also continue to live for. To call this story hollow would be an outright lie. It has so much heart and it touched me personally even if the journey to get there wasn’t perfect. I literally dropped story around 93 bc I was not having a good time but I’m glad I came back with a fresh perspective to experience the rest of what it had to offer.

This is to say, while not perfect in execution, I’m happy I was able to go through the emotions I did while in dawntrail.

[sun-undone]

i'm finishing up yet another rewatch because when am i not rewatching this godforsaken show and all throughout season 2, i kept honing in on all the times we see JJ with that fucking flask and how it is NEVER ADDRESSED. the most we get are the two moments in 2x01 and 2x03 when Kie's telling him to chill out before school and then when she takes the flask from his hand when she thinks he's asleep.

the fact that the closest we got to any acknowledgement of that being a deeper problem was always framed around jiara???? and now we know from the EW articles that JJ's mental health is gonna be a bigger deal (thank fucking god pates i love you and i never said anything bad about y'all) in season 3, which is the jiara season??????? it's all connected and i truly cannot believe i am praising writers for basic set up and payoff but !!!!!! i really thought the flask was their half-assed way of giving JJ some kind of individual arc when they totally dropped all his other plot lines (restitution and Luke/abuse trauma) but i could not be more happy to be proven wrong.

(i mean, they might be talking a big game now, it all comes down to the actual execution but i'm still so fucking excited that they've specifically mentioned taking a look at the pogues' mental states and it gives me a lot of hope okay)

everyone's already said this but i really think we're gonna see JJ struggling hardcore with being back home and not knowing what his place is as the dynamic of the pogues has changed so much. Cleo and Pope are paired off, since we now have confirmation that she'll be staying with him and his family. John B is gonna be reunited with his father, and he and Sarah have got each other as well. Kie has her parents to go back to, as strained as that relationship is. JJ is very clearly the odd one out.

poguelandia is the first time that JJ has ever been away from the obx. he has never existed outside the bubble of what it means to be a Maybank in the obx. so he's gotta feel so free, right?? he can provide for his family by fishing and they can get by just well enough to survive and live off the land and they have each other, and that's always been enough for JJ.

and if he and Kie gravitate closer on poguelandia like we all think they will, then all of that happiness and a taste of his surf trip dream will suddenly get ripped away from him when they have to go back home, and he's absolutely gonna spiral. he's gonna pull away and deflect and overcompensate with alcohol and use all the other immature coping mechanisms we've seen him use before, and i am so fucking ready for this angst holy shit cause there's just been so much set up for it. the pates love a fast burn so i think we were all kinda worried about the slow burn with jiara, but my expectations are officially sky high. i'm so glad that they're using the established character flaws and insecurities for JJ as part of the angst, and i'm assuming Kie's issues with her parents will be the external force adding onto that and making it even angstier.

it's not mind-blowing writing whatsoever, but after season 2 kinda let us down in terms of giving us insight into JJ's headspace, i'm just over the moon to see that it might've all been a set up for something bigger. they knew they wanted to save the deep dive into JJ's trauma for the jiara season because it's so integral to understanding how JJ receives and doesn't receive love. you can't put JJ in a romantic plot line without addressing all that trauma and self-hatred, and it's something fic writers have created masterpieces about and i can't stop saying it but i am just so fucking happy that the pates are putting it in canon. they really do care about these characters huh

if season 3 ends up being a disaster and the trauma plot line is disappointing as hell then no one saw this i didn't write it you didn't read it

[kim-ruzek]

Do you think they will get Hailey and Jay back together now that Tracy is leaving?

What are your wishes or hopes for Adam, Kim, Kevin and Makayla in the upcoming season?

I hope so. I do think they will, especially as the only reason they had upstead go through the uncertainty of the relationship last season was to give Hailey more room in her future storylines but with her leaving, that's no longer a consideration.

I suppose it always goes down to how they decide to have her exit, but I can't see them going for an unhappy exit, especially when JLS would definitely be willing to come back for a cameo.

Now! For what my wishes are:

I need to first mention that my wish for my burzekwater is that they get their detective badges Especially now we'll be losing Hailey.

For Burzek just in general first: I want that hospital scene, I want Kim mother henning Adam because she is not doing well at all being on this side of things. I want an ily - a true parallel to Kim's first shooting, with also a cute scene with Mack to parallel her second shooting. I want them to continue to be the amazing couple they are and give us those small domestic moments so i can squeal over them being together (although I say that like I do smile stupidly to myself whenever they interact in a very neutral way now they're together because they're fucking together!) In my possibly asking for too much dream wishes is for a new burzek engagement (with Kim instigating it in some way at least).

For Adam: I want him to formally adopt Mack too, be the legal dad in every sense of the word.

I want to see him struggle with the shooting, not only because shootings are traumatic but also because it was done by a kid - and I want to see Kim help him through this. I also want him to not shut down when dealing with the trauma. And I'd like the trauma to ebb and flow throughout the season. Possibly have Adam be a bit disillusioned to everything because he tried so hard and he couldn't save the kid.

I could see him very much becoming go to work, get what needs to be done and that's it, just following routine and go home - with home being the one place he's really thriving in, or even him questioning his place in the force. I very much wish that his main arc for this season is very much revolving around the shooting.

For Kim: I very much want to see her helping Adam through things, especially with her learned experiences. But I also don't want them to forget her own trauma, and that how almost losing the love of her life after finally letting him in would really emotionally wreck her. I think a lot of this will be mitigated by her helping him, but I still hope we see the effects.

Saying all that, I also really want one of her main arcs for this season to be professional strides for her - without her getting injured or MORE trauma dumped on her. Especially with this being Hailey's last season. I want her helping Adam to be an important arc for her as well, obviously, but her individual one I really want to see her being that awesome cop.

For Kevin: Similarly, I'd love to see the same thing in Kevin's arcs. I very much want to see more scenes with him and Torres as i dig them working together. I'd also love to see more of his father, because I think the arc of Kev rebuilding a relationship with him is such an important and interesting one.

I feel like a broken record saying this, but ROMANCE! I want to see a proper romance for him. A mature one, not build on lies or is a position of conflict in his life. Just a very nice relationship that builds up Kev, instead of causing more strife in his life.

I'd also like to see him potentially helping Adam with his trauma, especially if Adam is questioning his position in the force, I'd love to see Kev helping with that side of things.

For Mack: Just more cute family scenes. An adoption by Adam. Her being like ew at her parents kissing. Her being sweet to an injured Adam. Ending the season learning she's going to be a big sister because I'm pregnant!Kim trash.

Thank you for asking!!! This was very fun to answer. I'm half certain I've forgotten like half a dozen things because honestly my wish list is SO SO long and I've had many months of thinking and brain storming what I want, so don't be surprised if I add to this.

[miraculousmaladys]

TFP If You Ship...

Ultra Magnus

I would also like to warn yall, I do roast the shit outta these ships and you. Some of y'all are nasty and need to be told/reminded, and some of you need to stay far the fuck away from me. Aight? Aight lets begin.

MagOp/OpMag/Magnimus/ Ultra Magnus x Optimus Prime: You pretentious bitch. You absolute fucking- I have no fucking words to describe how beige you are. You 're personality is plain oatmeal. Message me. I want to beat your ass. You prolly like them for the fact that they can relate to each other, and because of their importance to the war. But I hate you cause you also have more content. Fuck you. May your cereal turn soggy before you can eat that shit, may your drawing tablet get so hot in that one corner that you can fry bacon on that bitch. Fuck you.

MagMeg/Magatron(ew)/ Ultra Magnus x Megatron: you eat mayonnaise with a fucking spoon. Y'all saw that one scene with them on Darkmount and was just like "hm, but what if fuck?" and ran with it. You went to Ao3 expecting kinky shit, but all you got was stuff for IDW Megs and Mags and honestly baby, its gon' be okay.

Matchet/Ragus?/ Ultra Magnus x Ratchet: Yes we get it, the old man can dom now shut the fuck up. If taking your S/O to the nursing home as a date was a ship it'd be these old crotchety ass bitches. But, but, on a more serious note this ship can be so therapeutic for both mechs. These two were there way before the start of the war, they lived through it, and they knew Optimus all throughout. I imagine Ratchet would tell Magnus about Orion before his ascension to the primacy. I ain't ever been more depressed scrolling through a tag though, y'all broke bitches need whatever the fuck UltraScreen is having.

Magbee/Ultra Bumble/Ultra Magnus x Bee: I ain't ever seen two same heighted Cybertronians in a relationship, always one of'em gotta be spike suckin' height.

UltraJack/ Ultra Magnus x Wheeljack: Listen, listen, both these mechs love their solitary time and it can create so much angst, SO MUCH. Magnus feeling he must uphold his duties and Wheeljack having a mindset similar to a pirate. His spark belongs to the stars AND Magnus, but the stars will always come first. But bitch this is Ultra Magnus. We horny. We know Wheeljack is a fucking brat, and Ultra Magnus is his Dom.... baby we nasty. We nasty and there is no fucking denying that shit my GOD.

Ultrabulk/ Ultra Magnus x Bulkhead: Listen man as crazy as this might sound, I think this could work. Just like any other ship with Bulkhead you are fucking STRUGGLING though dude, you got like 5 fics you keep coming back to. You cry at night, knowing, and praying, that the gods will smile upon you and bless you with an update. You know you struggling when you only got three fics that have this ship as the focus. If y'all ban together I'm sure you can scrounge together like three pieces of fanart and a lint roller between the four of you.

UltraScream/ Ultra Magnus x Starscream: I don't see how anyone could hate this ship. Like, they literally work as really good foils to each other. You've got Magnus who is loyal as fuck, very militaristic??? And very much involved with the safety of his team. He's described as recklessly brave. Starscream on the other hand has a lot of character to work on and Magnus could help him along with that, and he can teach Magnus self preser- fucking-vation because Mr. "gets fucking chomped by a predacon for another bitchass Autobot" needs it. You're fuckass wants someone to save you, or you want to go absolutely apeshit. You are the mom friend everyone is worried about.

Ultracee/ Ultra Magnus x Arcee: Huh?? I mean like....Okaaaayy?? I mean good for you. This ship makes me feel the way that you feel when someone offers you candy you don't like, but you wouldn't mind eating it so you do. To be honest the people who ship this definitely see diamonds in places others wouldn't expect, but like you're so fucking unnessecary oh my god. Like you prolly add weird ass comments to other peoples statements, ain't nobody out here asking for an echo. Sit down.

UltraShock: ya like'em thicc don't you commanding officer Ultra Magnus? Anyway maybe y'all could team up with UltraBulk shippers and add a pile of used soda cans to the pile. Y'all are ghosts, do you even exist on this plane. My guesstimate on how many people actually ship this forreal is like 5.

Ultrawave/MagnusSound/Magnus x Soundwave: Listen if the Ultrabulk shippers are starving y'all ain't even corporeal. I show up to this ship with a fucking ghost talk box and some heat sensors, and like one boombox tryna see if GHOSTS even inhabit this bitch. Y'all aight? Are y'all good?? HELLO IN THERE (hello in there) (hello in there). Yall really go all out for the goth shit. Prolly hidin' in the shadows of my house waiting to strike.

Ultrascreen:

You, and I mean this in the most (derogatory) way possible, are a fucking

HOE

Literally looked on AO3 saw nearly NOTHING BUT kinky MF PORN. The oooonly plot y'all got is exactly how long Ultra Magnus can deny Smokescreen an overload. Why every time it comes to Magnus people make this by the books vanilla bitch the kinkiest one. YES I love subverting expectations but can I PLEASE get one fic where he sputters because his partner says a bad word. These two are the main ones who get this treatment, and baby I ain't complaining, but please. Please just- please sir I-I a-ah!

Ultradown: The UltraBulk, and UltraWave shippers come here every year, at the exact same location, at the exact same time, all for this ritual. The UltraWave shippers take out a boombox, some energon candies, and a supersized Cybertronian false spike. The UltraBulkers begin to sing the incantation to summon their fallen comrade: https://youtu.be/m9We2XsVZfc. They must do this once every year, they must battle the UltraDown shippers, though most would say they are a myth, the UltraShock and UltraWave shippers know better.

MagnusOut/KnockMagnusOut?/Ultra Knockout: Listen its not as horny as Smokescreen but the constant tension is definitely there. Knockout is just as horny as the depressed, RE-pressed ass Magnus fans and can you really blame him? Boyfriend? Dead. Magnus? kinky. Hotel? California.

/If I missed any let my gay ass know. Sorry if this ones lackluster, but some of these ships don't even really seem to have a fanbase?? Remember that these are TFP ships y'all.

Also I better see more Bulkhead content after this. Do you all have a problem with truly thicc bootyful babes or what?

[jameui]

GUILTY MISTAKE

PAIRING: Kang Yeosang x M!Reader

GENRE: Angst, Fluff

WARNINGS: M!reader bullying sweet baby Yeosang, bad friends

SUMMARY: You've made a huge mistake once when you were a child and it's been in your head for the rest of your life, haunting you unless you've done something about it.

Just last month, you had turned six years old and you couldn't be more happier. For some unknown reasons, you liked how you grew older after every year, mostly because you receive gifts from your mom and dad and, of course, your friends who were about a year older than you.

Every year, on your birthday, you'd get expensive items and presents that you have been wanting for so long and foods that you get to eat with your family and friends. Loud music booming through the speakers, giggling while you made jokes with your friends laughing at almost everything due to the excitement and adrenaline that rushed through your bodies.

But, once everything was over and you know that everyone had to leave, you just keep on wishing that it was your birthday everyday. That way, everyone could still have fun and be happy with you, but then again, where's the thrill in that? They'd probably grow tired of it.

Right now, you were playing with your toys that you received creating specific sounds that corresponds to the action you controlled them to do, when you heard the doorbell ring making you gasp with joy at the thought of having a guest paying a visit.

You stood up from your position, your short legs running towards the door as you reached for the knob and turned it to open the door for the person behind it. The door moves wide open and reveals a woman who didn't look quite older than your mother, while you smiled and looked up at her. "Good morning!" You greeted her.

The woman's eyes fell down to you, beaming with glee at your politeness. "A very good morning to you, too, deary." She replied. "Is your mom or dad around? We're actually new to the neighborhood. We just moved from Busan."

You nod your head to answer her as you walked up to your mother who was in the kitchen cooking lunch. "Mom, someone's at the door for you."

"Really? Who is it?" Your mother asked you, wiping her newly washed hands on her apron.

You shrugged your shoulder, holding onto your mom's hand. "Neighbor said she was new." You and your mom was now in front of the door and the two women greeted each other as the other woman handed out a basket to your mom while you waited patiently for your mom to give it to you.

As soon as she did, you waggled your small feet towards the table before you caught a glimpse of a kid, not much taller than you, peeking from behind his mother's pants. He looked scared and shy, but it seemed to you that he wanted to approach you, but he was just too timid to do so.

You gave him your million dollar smile that made the small boy giggle at your friendliness, you jumping down from where you sat with a small groan when you hit the floor. You ran back towards the door, now seeing the chubby boy whose tummy was curving like a small hill on his stomach.

He wore a blue tiny jumper that fit perfectly onto his body, with a striped long sleeves under his jumper, white socks and shoes that almost looked worn out. You approached the boy a comfortable distance away and looked behind the woman that looked to be like his mother, a wide smile still present on your face as you waved a hand at him hello.

The boy bashfully hid, only leaving his arm to be left seen while waving back at you hesitantly. You could see how much the boy struggled to make friends with you so you decided to close in on the distance leading your feet towards the boy and poked your head out that made the boy flinch. "Heya there!" You said, now standing in front of him as the little boy hid his eyes away from you. "Don't be scared. People tell me I'm kind." You giggled softly, the other boy glancing up at you before quickly looking away once again. "I'm M/n, by the way. How about you? What's your name?"

He looked up at you shyly and stammered. "I-I'm Yeothang."

"Yeothang? What a unique name." You beamed, but he shook his head to correct you.

"No, no. Yeothang."

"Oh, you got a lisp." You said at the sudden realization and he nodded his head. "So, Yeosang?" He nodded again. "Yeosang. You have a pretty name." You said, finally noticing the birth mark that decorated the side of his left eye. You gasped and pointed at it. "Wowza! You have a cool looking tattoo!"

"It'th... It'th not a tattoo, M/n." Small Yeosang said, hesitating to call you by your name. "Mommy told me it'th a birth mark."

"Ooh, a birth mark. I wish I had one just like yours." You pouted. "I've got nothing."

Yeosang giggles at you making you smile. "That'th okay, M/n." He said and looks at you with his small brown orbs. "You look great even without them." He said, before he sniffed due to his runny nose that caused a snot to fall from his nose.

You were able to see this and pulled the hem of your shirt to wipe it from his nose and smiled brightly at him, which in turn, earned you a face of shock from Yeosang. "There."

"But, I dirtied your shirt." He furrowed his brows.

You waved it off and gave him assurance. "Don't you worry. My clothes get cleaned pretty well, so it's alright." You told him. "Oh, hey, wanna eat the snack your mom gave us? I saw cookies there. I bet you love cookies."

He nods his head once and immediately, you took his wrist into your small hands that barely closed around it as you pulled him inside and to your kitchen table. You let Yeosang take a seat first, since he needed a little help from his small size. You were next to take seat, settling on the seat beside him. You opened the basket that was wrapped with a cling wrap to secure it properly.

You let yourself drool at the sight of all the delicious delicacies that was inside the basket. "That is a lot." You chuckled cutely, unable to decide which baked goods to eat first. Throughout your process of thinking, your mother and Yeosang's mother had finished their conversation and the latter was called over. Yeosang gave his mother a small 'coming', before climbing down the seat as you pouted. "You're leaving already."

"I'm afraid tho, M/n." Yeosang replied sadly as you thought.

You pondered for a moment before you hastily took a bunch of the delicacies from the basket and went down to give it to Yeosang. "Here. I want you to take this with you. Eat them, or else."

Yeosang nodded and gave you a look of delight at your kind and cute gesture. "I will, M/n." He said before he jogged off to his mother showing her what you gave to him.

"Bye, Sangie!"

"Bye, M/n."

The following day, you were with your friends by the children's playground playing a round of tag, you being the tagger. "Tag, you're it!" You yelled on top of your lungs once you were able to catch up with the smallest of your group of friends, who whined in protest and stomped his foot.

"I'm always 'it'! Why can't it be—"

"Can I play, too?" That all too familiar sweet, honey like voice came from behind him, taking all of your attentions as your head all turned to him and revealed the very shy Yeosang. "I know how to play the game. We uthed to play that back at home."

"Yeosang, of cour—" You were about to reply, but your friends' rejection to his action of joining cut you off.

"Ew, no way. We don't want your boogers and sticky green nose liquid on us. Get away!"

"Yeah, go away! We don't want you playing with us."

"Booger boy!"

"Go play in another playground!"

Those were the words that your friends threw at him that got you shocked from hearing what your friends were saying to Yeosang. Your eyes had widened in shock while you could clearly see the hurt in his eyes that was now glossy with his forming tears from the mean comments he received from your friends. You clearly didn't know there was something going on with your friends and Yeosang.

Yeosang's pleading eyes was placed onto you as he waited for your answer, fiddling with his fingers. Your friends were the best people you could ever have and losing them never crossed your thought, so to avoid this situation from happening, you did what you thought was going to keep them as your friends. "Sure. You can play with us." You said, which made Yeosang hopefully smile, but he immediately took it back from what he heard next from you. "If you weren't so disgusting."

At that, you smirked and all your friends bursted out laughing giving you a clap at the back, the dejected Yeosang hanging his head low, feeling embarrassed. Although he was shamed upon, he still knew you had that kindness inside you and guessed you might have done that for a reason, so he gleamed and looked back at you. "Alright. Maybe next time? When I'm not snot booger rocket anymore." He snorted while laughing that made you all look at him like he's a weirdo.

"Go away! We never want to play with you, again."

And what you thought was just a one time thing, became a permanent bullying towards the poor little boy who only wanted to make friends and play with you. Before they left Busan, he had promised his mom that he wouldn't be the shy boy his parents knew him as, and become friends with the children at their new home, but it looked it was 'friends' that didn't want him.

Their first day, the day he met you, he was so excited and happy that he was able to make a friend, even if it were you who was the first one to approach him. He admired how you were so brave to befriend him and your politeness was one of the things he praised you for. He also thought you were a really kind and friendly kid, but looking at it now, it looked like he was wrong as he was once again rejected to play with you, seating on one of the swings that were a far distance away from where you and your friends played tag.

He sighed, but he didn't want to give up that easily so he ran to you while giggling repeating the words, 'I wanna play' over and over again which got to your friends' nerves, to the point where one of them pushed Yeosang to the ground which got your mouth gaping at the shock, while Yeosang stared up the person who pushed him, eyes starting to swell with tears. As though the fact that he was pushed to the ground wasn't enough, the same person kicked him by the leg which got Yeosang shouting in pain, before standing back up crying and ran home.

You made your way to your friends and glared at them. "Hey, that was too much."

"Why do you care so much?" He sassed at you. "He deserved it."

Your glare didn't falter, but softened when your eyes caught sight of a crying Yeosang. While your friends started to pile up in the middle of the place, you were still caught up in your thoughts, wishing you had just been nice to Yeosang and left your friends for treating Yeosang like that.

Yeosang didn't deserve it. He was a sweet, innocent and kind-hearted boy. He was too pure for this world. He didn't even give up once on trying to be friends with you, but all you ever did was tease him and mock him, call him names like 'booger boy' as you all called him as, 'weirdo', and all sorts of things. Finally realizing your fault, you sighed and regretted the treatment you gave Yeosang. "Sangie..."

A month or so after, you heard about the Kang family moving to another neighborhood which made you feel so bad and hate yourself totally. You didn't even get to say your sorry to Yeosang properly. The little boy never again showed up at the playground and only did when he was asked to throw the trash, all bundled up under so much clothings, since it was winter. That was the only moment you could ever see him.

You rushed out of your house and saw that they were now entering their car, you zoomed across the street and called Yeosang. "Yeosag, Yeosang! Wait!"

This got his attention, snapping his head towards you with a big smile. "M/n! You came to thee me off?" He giggled, making you feel guilty.

You shook your head and knitted your brows. "Why are you leaving? Where are you going?" You asked all in one go.

"We're moving back to Buthan, thince mom wath able to find a plathe there where it'th rent free and could all fit uth in." Then, he leaned in close to your ear to whisper. "Don't worry. I never told mom that your friendth hated me." He giggled secretly.

"Sangie... I also did bad things to you.." You told him sadly.

"I know." Yeosang smiled. "But, I know you didn't do it on purpothe."

"Yeosang, the car's about to leave."

"Oh, I gotta go now. Bye, M/n." He said and waved you goodbye while entering the cab and rolled the windows down while he smiled up at you. "Hope to thee you thoon again, M/n." He said one last time before the car drove off to their destination.

And there it goes. Your last chance to say sorry. Lost. Now, you're left with a lingering feeling of pure guilt and regret.

-------

Years after and you have disbanded with your friends, you are still living with the regret that you made from when you were young. You had just turned 18 years old last month and you were even sadder than the last. Instead of wishing gifts and presents from your new found friends and families, you were only wishing for Yeosang to come back so you could just tell him how much you were sorry and hug him so tightly that he wouldn't be able to breathe.

Your sullen look was noticed by your mother, who by the way, already knew your sin towards Yeosang since you had told her about it already. The first time you told her, she was aggravated with you for not being the child she had raised you to be. You told her the purpose of your action, thus the reason why you left your friend group and boy was your mom right to have let you leave them. What once was playful, turned harsh and violent and you didn't want to be a part of that. "What's wrong, honey? Don't you like your gifts?" Your mother asked you in concern.

You shook your head and sighed. "It's not that. I'm just... feeling like a total jerk."

Your mother sighed at you sadly and sat down beside you, patting you lightly on the back. "Honey, what you've done was wrong, but trust me when I say that Yeosang has a kind heart and if you ever tell him you're sorry, he'd forgive you right away."

"Thanks, mom." You said. "But, people change as they grow."

"Not Yeosang."

You rolled your eyes at your mom with a smirk. "Sure mom. Not Yeosang." You shook your head in disbelief. "I just wish you're right, mom."

You stood up from your seat, as your mother did and walked your way out the door taking in the fresh air of the morning during spring season, when all the trees stood straight and tall, the flowers blooming with all their beauty. You smiled at the sight and took the camera that was hanging by your neck, over a sling and took a picture of the ethereal scenery.

You walked past your porch and started heading to the park to get some takes on your camera to post on your Instagram to entertain your million followers. As you did, you were able to pass by an ice cream stall, so you took a quick stop and bought three scoops of (favorite ice cream flavor) with chocolate syrup and sprinkles to top it off.

You were wearing a smile, happily licking your ice cream away. You let your eyes explore the world around you, finding everything interesting. All these years, the place had been making a lot of changes. From buildings to parks and work towers, everything just felt new, as if you never got to spend time, at least once visiting these places throughout you're whole eighteen years of existence.

You finally arrived at the park, everything from your childhood flashing back through your head. The once only a children's playground is now a family park, but rather than being reminded by the joyous memories, you were able to remember the memory that's been haunting you for life.

You couldn't believe yourself that you had the ability to bully such an innocent kid, while you kept blaming yourself for their sudden moving away. If you had the power to turn back time, you'd make things right with Yeosang and be a better friend to him, which you couldn't do because you wanted to be with the 'cool kids' when all they ever did was make a person's life miserable.

You found a bench to seat on and checked through the pictures you took on your camera, laughing at a video of Mingi getting drunk with Yunho, carrying him like he was a puppy. You just missed those two so bad. You never got another chance to meet them, not even once, since they're both now busy with their job and you're still here trying to find a way to pass the college entrance examination.

Whenever they're around, you three would always be loud as fuck and wouldn't care a thing about the world, just as long as you three are happy. Of course, you didn't go too far just to be happy, unlike the friends you once had.

You still had the smile on as you sighed satisfied and rested your camera back down to let it hang on your neck. You looked around you and saw children playing by the fountain, their parents watching with glee at the sight of their children playing happily. You grabbed your camera and took a picture of the wonderful scene.

You took a few more shots, satisfied, you were finally about to leave with not much else to do, when in a distance you heard a gruff voice call out to you. "M/n? Didn't expect to see you here."

You looked behind you to see Mingi who was in his suit holding a case, his golden wrist watch shining brightly under the sun's light. You smirked and scoffed. "I could tell you the same thing." You said all the while crossing your arms over your chest. "Mingi, are you slacking off?"

Mingi rolled his eyes at your teasing. "I take my job seriously, M/n. I'm not the same person who cuts classes."

"Sure. Sure." You mocked him, while he glared at you. "Anyways, how are you and Yunho doing?"

The brown haired male smiled at the thought of the taller male and sighed. "Oh, you know. The usual. Us missing you and wanting to baby you."

This time, it was you who rolled your eyes, the smirk on your face growing wider, if possible. "You both still on that?"

"Well, you're pretty much the reason how we got together. So, it's just a way of us showing our gratitude for having you in our life." Mingi patted your head making you giggle at the simple contact.

"I just hated how you two were so dense with all the signs you both tried so hard to make the other notice. I had to do something, at least." You said.

"But, weren't you the one who told me you had feelings for Yunho?" He teasingly wiggled his brows at you, making you blush profusely.

"Shut up. There are pasts that should be forgotten and it includes that." You huffed, puffing up your cheeks making you look like a little squirrel. "And you promised we would never speak of this ever again." You pulled your brows in disappointment, looking up at him. "All you do is lie."

"Hey, hey. I don't go that far." Mingi defended himself, before pulling you into his arms to hug you. "But, if you're so embarrassed about it, it'll be just our little secret."

"Don't even promise me if you're just going to break them in the end." You deadpanned making Mingi let out a deep voiced chuckle.

"Alright."

Soon, the two of you parted ways, waving your hands to each other to say goodbye. You were making your way back home, when you noticed a moving truck from the house next door. A new neighbor? You walked up to the truck driver to greet her and do some important interview. "Good morning, ma'am. Did someone just move in?"

"Oh, nice to see friendly faces up in here." She chuckled. "It's not everyday you get the luck to meet one." She sighs from her aching back, before exhaling deeply. "Yeah. Rich families, to be exact. Paid me a good tip." She said making you giggle.

"I see." You laughed lightly. "Well, have a great day, ma'am. Hope to see you, again." You waved her goodbye, the woman doing the same to you.

You hummed to a song as you finished your walk, now in front of your porch, your mom tending with her flowers. "Had a good day, honey?"

"Better than great." You replied. "I met Mingi on his way to his job. Thought he was slacking off like he usually does." You chortled, earning a playful slap on the back from your mom.

"Oh, you." She told you before she led you inside and went straight to the kitchen. "Oh, by the way, have you met the new neighbors next door?"

"Nope." You answered, popping the 'p' with a purse of your lips at the end, then sat down on a seat excited to eat the apple pie your mother made while you were away. Once, it got placed down on the table, you hurriedly dug in with your barehands, but before you could, your mother slapped your hand making you pout as she folded her gardening apron.

"That's for the neighbors." She informed you, your mouth opening in understanding while nodding your head. "And I'm letting you do the honors to give this to them, since I believe, the new neighbors' son was a friend of yours."

"A friend? Who?" You asked with a raised brow, but your mother only gave you a wink and carefully hands you the apple pie. With no other choice, you stood up and wore your bunny slippers, too lazy to put your shoes back on, as you headed to the house next door.

You walked up the small stairs that led up to the house's front door and knocked three times. You waited for a reply, but you received nothing, so you waited before knocking on the door, once again just in case they didn't hear you.

Alas, a male's voice was heard, shouting a loud 'coming' to inform you that someone was finally coming for the door. You stood there patiently with a smile, practicing in your head what you will have to say to the male. The door soon flew open and appeared a tall man, who looked freakishly handsome, his features flawless that it's making it hard for you to look away. He was so surreal. Like a character pulled straight out from a comic.

You tried to utter a word, but the lines you prepared in your head was long forgotten. "Uh..." Was the only word you could ever stable.

"Er.. Is that for us?" The male asked you, snapping you from your thoughts and nodding your head, taking notice of the small lisp he had with the letter 's'.

"Uh, yeah, yeah. It's for you and your family." You said. "It's actually a tradition, so we make the new neighbors feel welcome." You added and slowly gave it to the male infront of you, a smile gracing upon his features. Goodness, his smile is so stunning.

He accepted the gift and took it into his hands. You bowed curtly and had decided to make your way back, when the male had caught your attention. "Wait, don't go just yet. Why don't you come inside and have a bite?"

And who were you to turn down an offer from a cute guy? "Uhm, er, sure. Yeah, I'd love to." He lets you walk inside first as he closes the door, a small creak and click coming from it.

"Hol'up, you're not a pedophile, are you?" You suddenly asked out of fear. "There's been a lot of news going on around the world and I've prepared my whole life, so I can fight you."

"No, no. For sure, I'm not." He said as he walked by past you, leading the way to the kitchen to guide you. Once you two made it to the kitchen, the things on the table were cleared, the car keys hiding it in his pockets. "Take a seat. I'll go grab some plates."

"Your mom and dad?" You asked out of the blue, making him chuckle.

"You're so full of questions." He told you. "They're buying groceries."

"Oh." You let out silently, sitting down while fiddling with your fingers since you got nothing else to do.

The male came back with what he intended to get and placed one on your side, then one on his, moving to the kitchen isle to get a knife to cut the pie. "So, how's your life going?"

You thought for while taking a long deep breathe. "Well, I guess you could pretty much say, complicated." You answered and when he didn't speak back to let you keep on talking, you continued. "There's days where I feel so happy, then there are days where I feel miserable." You looked up at him while he cuts the pie. "I just wish... I..." You trailed off once you were able to catch a glimpse of the discoloration of a certain area on the side of his head. Wait a minute. That birthmark...

The moment you were able to figure it out, you jumped up from your seat and widened your eyes in shock. "Yeo.. Yeosang..?"

He let out a small chuckle, before stopping his actions and looking up at you. "So, you saw my tattoo, huh?"

You couldn't believe it. He was back, but different. He's no longer the chubby little boy with snot running down his nose, he's now a total hottie and he's even taller than you already. "O-oh my gosh.. Yeosang.. You look so.. different."

"Well, I wanted to be your friend badly, I decided to change for you, but it was also a self-decision, so don't feel so bad, M/n." Yeosang said. He did change, but his personality is still the same old Yeosang.

"Yeosang, I was your friend. I was just a coward." You sadly said, your guilt even growing bigger. "I'm so sorry."

Yeosang moved to your side and pulled you into his arms, the strong scent of something sweet and musky all at the same time, tickling your nose. His embrace was so warm and caring that you never wanted him to pull away. "M/n, I have forgiven you a long time ago, already. You don't have to say sorry, anymore."

"Just let me do it, Sang. The thought of not being able to see you again keeps plaguing me for days." You admitted. "I kept on blaming myself that I was the reason why you moved away."

"No, M/n, you're not. Please, don't be hard on yourself." He said, caressing your hair. "It was a family business, so we had to move to a place near dad's work place."

You gave him a light punch and stifled a laugh. "You should have told me sooner."

You both got into a comfortable silence, before Yeosang decided to break it. "Well, how about we eat and catch up on each others' lives, yeah?"

"That sounds lovely."

[witchy-jadda]

rott spoilers ahead

so i’ve given myself some time to think about everything and try to process it all and here are some of my thoughts on trollhunters: rise of the titans...

- straight off the bat, i loved the intro. opening with blinky telling the story of what happened up until this point was incredible. i would have loved if they had circled back to this though (i saw someone else say it should have been him telling the story to jim and claire’s kids and i loved that idea!)

- i also liked that they didn’t waste time at the start, instead they just jumped right into the action which was fun.

- honestly, i thought jim’s plotline throughout the movie where he basically thought he was useless without the amulet was just really not fun to watch. i understand why it was there and it played into the climax but i really did not find it one bit necessary seeing as i felt that we have grown beyond that. i felt it was overused. we’ve been there before and jim is aware that he’s the trollhunter, amulet or not.

- douxie being so soft with nari was genuinely one of the most heartwarming parts of the movie. i feel that we were really robbed of so much potential with douxie in this movie though. we didn’t see nearly enough of him. it seemed that the writers were picking and choosing when to remember how powerful he is. switching with nari and connecting to her are two examples of when they actually used his power, but aside from that they just disregarded it a lot.

- and speaking of forgetting how powerful people are... i’m genuinely so hurt and let down over what they did to claire. do they not realise how powerful she is? did they just forget about her character arc? it sure felt like it. she got to use her powers a few times (connecting to nari, portalling the titan, etc) but mostly it felt like she was saying she was spent and therefore unable to do anything. she is so strong and so powerful, and that’s just so empowering - especially for young girls. and then it kinda felt to me that rott was reducing her to basically nothing more than jim’s love interest.

- okay another quick note, it kinda felt to me that krel’s potential was also pretty wasted? he barely did anything and i just think he deserved more too.

- ew okay i don’t even want to think about it but i know i can’t discuss rott without talking about the mpreg thing. seriously, what the fuck was that? at first, i thought it was going to be a joke. i thought aja and krel were gonna wind steve up and see how far they could go with making him think he was pregnant just for a little bit of comic relief. but then he was actually pregnant. and so i laughed, because even though it was dumb it was kind of funny. weird and unexpected, but kind of funny. but by the time the movie was over it just didn’t sit right with me. looking past the fact that it was just more of them making steve’s character into a joke, i couldn’t see the logic in giving so much time to that subplot when other characters (claire, douxie) and other relationships (claire and douxie’s friendship) were sidelined. maybe if he had gotten a whole season the mpreg thing could have been included as comic relief or whatever, but with such limited time i really don’t see the point of wasting so much time on something so pointless. 

- speaking of steve, i need to talk about creepslayerz... they really deserved more :( like i get that eli literally helped steve through child birth and then named one after him which was lowkey adorable but i loved their friendship so much and i was really hoping to see more of them. i was kind of hoping they’d get to do more as well. look i gave up on hopes of a romance long ago (even though i still really wished it would happen) but i hoped that at least we’d see some more of their friendship.

* by this point my brain has decided to forget absolutely every point i wanted to make... cue the brain fog (we don’t like her) and allow me to take a moment to read back and try to find my point again *

- i don’t think i can stress enough how much i loved the visuals in this movie. holy fucking shit it was just phenomenal. like wow. the art was absolutely fantastic and i’m really hoping for another the art of... book because i love the art of trollhunters and i feel that they could do with updating it to include the newer stuff. but yep, the animation quality was incredible and i don’t have a bad thing to say about it because just wow.

- speaking of art... a moment of appreciation for character designs. just wow wow wow. we love to see such intricately designed villains. we love to see growth in our other much loved characters. and the locations too? fantastic. beautiful. amazing. loved it.

- another moment of appreciation for jim. the hair. the scars. the injuries. the winter jacket. the fact that he looked a little older.... loved it. loved it, loved it, loved it. i cannot wait to spend hours pouring over reference pictures to draw them all.

- and claire... her armor being weathered and worn. her eyes!! her hair looked great as always. i just love her...

- nari nari nari... my goodness, her magic is so beautiful. i wish we got to see more.

- also, the jlaire moments were very cute. their kisses? so soft. they literally love each other so much. i adore them.

- what happened to the babies from the darklands btw? is not enrique just chilling in the lake’s house with a ton of babies? 

- barbara deserved better. i would have liked to see her and strickler happy.

- on that note, why the actual fuck did they think a few explosives would win against magic?? literal ancient magic and these dumbasses were like huh i guess we should blow it up. i’m sorry, what?? y’all are stupid.

* currently trying to think of every possible point that isn’t to do with the ending because i really don’t want to think about that yet *

- the whole thing with archie and charlemagne felt super unnecessary. like usually characters sacrifice themselves and it’s like sad and you can see the reasoning and stuff. but they literally could have gotten out. i really did not vibe with that. it felt like they just did that to leave douxie with no one.

- that trollmarket was beautiful though.

- speaking of trollmarket... they really restored the heartstone just like that? are you joking? i was not impressed at all. the heartstone was dead and gone, could not be destroyed. did they just forget that? half the shit in wizards wouldn’t have happened if the heartstone could have been restored. very pissed off by that. it was dead, that was it.

- okay back to jim... love that he pulled the sword from the stone. it was cute that it was a group effort, kinda would have preferred if it was just him but that’s just a me thing. and maybe me and my daylight tattoo are biased here, but excalibur is not half as pretty as daylight.

- not gonna lie, jim yelling come on trollhunters! kinda got me. i was very emotional watching this.

- i think the most in character jim moment of the whole movie was when he dropped excalibur, he didn’t have his armor, he was all alone and he decided to make a fist and fight the wizard/god with literally no weapon or means of defence. i don’t think y’all understand how much i love this dumb self sacrificing selfless boy. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, he is literally one of my most favourite characters of all time. i love him with all my heart.

- the armor!! wow wow wow. that was a fucking cool scene. beautiful.

- jim getting stabbed or whatever with that fucking spear thing nearly killed me.

- okay here goes... toby. my sweet toby. jim and toby’s friendship is one of my absolute favourites ever. my goodness. and toby getting in the van and going to save jim was incredible and such a toby thing to do. of course he would think of doing that.

- but like seriously... claire and douxie are so fucking powerful and they were both just like lol i guess we can’t do anything to help jim? i’m sorry what?? don’t tell me that claire wouldn’t go full on black and purple eyes and get herself up their to him. i just... i’m so bothered by the fact that they were sidelined y’all :|

- also, do not seriously try to tell me that aaarrrgghh!!! would let toby go on his own. he would have went with him. he would have followed him.

- literally as jim was falling the first thing that went through my mind was oh aaarrrgghh!!! is gonna run up and catch him.

- and while we’re on the topic of aaarrrgghh!!! why tf did they have such a build up that something was going to happen to either him or blinky for literally no reason? wtf

- aaarrrgghh!!! would not have let toby go alone!!! if he had been there, he would have protected toby, he would have saved him and none of that mess of an ending would have happened.

* ugh here’s the bit i was dreading... the ending *

- first off, i am choosing to ignore it.

- time stone? really? we’re... we’re gonna do this? literally one of the most original things i have ever watched is now - at the literal last possible minute - rip off another movie?? really?? whyyyy???

- i literally cannot express how much i hated it. it was so fucking unnecessary.

- he didn’t need to go back that far!!!

- i’m actually trying to block this out but i suppose i have to at least touch on it. jim would never ever put that burden on to toby. he just wouldn’t. before even looking at all of the other issues with toby getting the amulet, i need to say that. it just wouldn’t happen. he struggled so much with being the trollhunter, he wouldn’t put that on toby. 

- also toby literally never wanted to be the trollhunter?? he never wanted the amulet? he wanted to be a duke and have his war hammer and go on adventures with his best friend and his wingman and eat mexican food.

- okay so um i guess they all just forgot about unbecoming? cool cool cool.

- seriously though, was it not established many times that jim literally had to be trollhunter? and if he wasn’t it would be draal and everything would go to shit? did they just forget about that??

- having jim just decide to give toby the amulet literally takes away from the entire meaning behind jim getting the amulet and becoming the trollhunter. the amulet chose jim. merlin chose him. out of all of the creatures in the world, it had to be jim. he can’t just give that to toby!!

- and as much as i love toby, he would not last a day as trollhunter.

- and that’s not even beginning to mention all that jim erased by not becoming trollhunter. no father son relationship between him and blinky. they didn’t stop steve from picking on eli so no steve redemption and no creepslayerz. is he just going to allow enrique to be taken? toby will not have the same incentive to go into the darklands to save him if that’s the case. strickler will not show any sort of sentiment towards toby either. and then the big one...

- IS THAT FUCKER REALLY GOING TO ALLOW CLAIRE TO NOT GET HER POWERS??? WHAT???

- if jim isn’t trollhunter and the whole thing with enrique doesn’t happen then claire will never get her shadowstaff. let’s be real, strickler probably wouldn’t even need angor rot with toby as trollhunter. somehow i can’t see him making it that far...

- if claire doesn’t have her shadow staff then the whole thing with morgana won’t happen. she won’t destroy the shadow staff and then she will never develop her powers. would jim really rob her of that?

- okay i can’t do anymore, it’s too much for me now...

- i touched on this already in a separate post but i gotta say it again... i did not enjoy the destiny is a gift bit at the end. first of all, jim having toby find the amulet literally takes the meaning of that speech and his destiny away instanty. and second, i just could not stand hearing emile hirsch say the words that belonged to anton yelchin. it was just uncomfortable.

aaand i think i’m done. maybe i’ll have more later but i have a headache now from all of this.

[greensaplinggrace]

honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

[najatheangel]

𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐞

pairing: Lee donghyuck x reader (ft. nct members)

genre: fluff, angst, comedy and spice.

inspired song: Bestie by Lloyd.

summary: donghyuck’s and his s/o memories as best friends leading up to becoming lovers. (btw this one’s a little longer than the ones i usually write so beware loves.)

Haechan’s POV: June, 24th, 2018. “Today’s the day where I finally tell her how I feel. After 7 years of my friendship, growing up together and holding back my feelings for so long, Today is the day where things change. I’m tired of being stuck in the friend zone this is my one and only chance before she moves away. Now or Never Hyuck...”

“She's a bad one not a fast one. Every time we get together we have fun”

Growing up, me and y/n always were always bound to be apart of each other’s lives. We’ve grew up in the same neighborhood, our parents met each other in school, our friends are dating each other and we even go to the same school together. Sounds very corny right? It’s true though.

Our thing was always playing horror games together every night after we finish doing homework together. She was always the procrastinator so I had to give her some motivation. Not only that, we always play around the swing sets in the park that’s right in front of our houses to talk about anything and everything that was going on in our life’s.

This one time she got so drunk after Mark’s birthday party and was trying to swing so high and flew off the swing set thinking she was super man. Heh, she can be such a idiot at times. She may be one of the goofiest, bubbly and sweetest people I know. She can also be caring, overprotective and keep me calm whenever I’m always acting crazy.

I don’t remember what exact moment I feel in love with you, but I do remember feeling like as time went by, my love for you stared to grow much stronger. Everyone around us was starting to suspect how we felt about it each other especially my mom she adored you so much and loved the idea of us being together.

She would always ask “Where’s your girlfriend y/n?” Or “Aren’t you supposed to be with your girlfriend right now?” Ah girlfriend, I love the sound of that. Anyways I was grossed out at the idea at first because I only saw you as my sister once before and not to mention I was immature.

She would always ask “Where’s your girlfriend y/n?” Or “Aren’t you supposed to be with your girlfriend right now?” Ah girlfriend, I love the sound of that. Anyways I was grossed out at the idea at first because I only saw you as my sister once before and not to mention I was immature.

She would always ask “Where’s your girlfriend y/n?” Or “Aren’t you supposed to be with your girlfriend right now?” Ah girlfriend, I love the sound of that. Anyways I was grossed out at the idea at first because I only saw you as my sister once before and not to mention I was immature.

She would always ask “Where’s your girlfriend y/n?” Or “Aren’t you supposed to be with your girlfriend right now?” Ah girlfriend, I love the sound of that. Anyways I was grossed out at the idea at first because I only saw you as my sister once before and not to mention I was immature.

Once we’ve started getting much older I've tried dating other girls but none of them just didn’t compare to you. I’ve tried to joke around with them, they wouldn’t take me seriously. When I try to ask them out on dates, they would ditch me for someone else. When I try to be affectionate, they reject and always want to stay friends. I normally had luck keeping girls around, but only for a short amount of time. It seemed like every week I had a new girlfriend.

I knew y/n was always frustrated at me trying to tell me there’s other fish in the sea, but hell I want to my little mermaid and that’s y/n-ie. I even teased her about it, but she didn’t seem to take a hint.

“You know y/n... we should honestly just date. We would be the next Hyuna and Edawn in the school. They would have nothing on us.” I even nudged her on the shoulder to get her smiling.

“Hmm? Are you insane that would be too weird. We’re like brother and sister.” I could tell she was flustered, but she wasn’t exactly to thrilled with the idea. “Plus you know how I feel about Mark already. I’ve got to really wow him at this game tonight.” Oh yeah I forgot to mention she had a crush on my other best friend Mark Lee at the time.

“I know she should just be my friend Yet I'm hoping, I'm hoping that maybe it will lead In love happy end.”

It would work my nerves every time she would talk about him and always would ask advice on what to do, but I was very hopeful and believed I still had to chance to win her heart. I gush to everyone including the boys everyday about how madly in love I was with y/n without even realizing.

I would tell everyone, well except her of course. Johnny almost told my secret to everyone at Jaehyun’s house party when we were all playing strip uno. It was shut down real quickly because Doyoung gave him a long hard talk after awhile.

That night was also the worst for me because that was the same days the homecoming game where you confessed your feelings to Mark and became officially a couple. In my mind I wanted to be happy for the two of you as I watched you two kissed each other in front of everyone.

After that day, I avoided you for a while and couldn’t accept the fact that I couldn’t have you at that very moment. I couldn’t spend more time with you, hold you, kiss you, brag to everyone how much I loved you.

Although I was torn and felt defeated when you started dating Mark, I still felt a tiny bit of hope that someday I would still have a chance to make you mine and have our happy ending.

Y/N POV: June 24th, 2018. The day that I say farewell to my best friend Lee Donghyuck before going leaving to go to Harvard. I can’t believe this day has finally come we haven’t had the chance to hang out throughout our entire senior year so I want to make this count. I also want to tell him how I’ve felt about him. Let’s see where do I even start....

“We were children when we met. Just playing house and drinking sodas at the corner store.”

I remember having a hard time making friends my family moves from city to city because of my dad career as a entrepreneur for multiple companies and my mom working as a travel nurse. I was bullied for my struggling with my weight and for being an outcast which caused a lot of depression for me.

One day I remember running away from these girls in my school because they were trying to throwing apples at me. It was they’re way of trying to help me “eat healthy.” Jokes on them I was the top runner in the track team hehe.

Anyways, I lost them for a good second until I was trapped surrounded by them at the market by my house. I almost felt at lost against the 4 girls, until this crazy guy Lee Donghyuck comes out of no where scaring them away with his Freddy Kruger mask threatening them to leave me alone or he’ll haunt them in their sleep.

I felt bad for laughing, but it was one of the most nicest thing anyone has ever done for me ever since I’ve moved to Korea. He randomly introduces himself to me and offers me to play with him for an exchange of saving my life from those bullies.

“Hey my name is Donghyuck. Those girls always find their next target to pick on, but no worries princess I’m here to protect you. Let me introduce you to my other friends.”

He reached his hand on to me and ever since I was always dragged on to his crazy adventures.

“Like a brother from another. Didn't notice all the other girls they wanted more.”

Donghyuck was pretty popular when it came to having lots of guy friends and dating even when we were kids. In 5th grade on Valentine’s I remembered his desk being flooded with chocolates and anonymous love letters stuffed in backpack.

The idea didn’t bother me at first because I saw Hyuck as my older protective brother. I even slid some letters in my self saying “Happy Valentine’s Day loser. Enjoy those kits kats!” We tend to tease each other a lot, but that’s how we showed our love to each other.

People in our class including the boys Jaemin, Chenle and Yang Yang were encouraging us to date, but we just never seemed thrilled with the idea.

“Awhh c’mon you guys would be so cute together. You guys have kissed once before anyways it’s a sign.” I remember the boys would always poke fun at us, but we both would scream.

“Ew no way! Plus that kiss didn’t count it was for a school play.”

Yet every time a guy would try to ask me out, Donghyuck would scare them away because he claims that I’m still too young to date. Smh, yeah I should’ve known that it was actually because you were jealous.

“But now look at the glow up. You're the finest thing I ever seen, but you never been more than a friend to me.”

As much as I hate to admit it, but god sometimes Donghyuck can be hot...sexy...hell good looking when he wants to be. It doesn’t help that he’s teasing me about it either.

There was this one time when we were playing Mario Karts in his room and it was on a hot summer day at the time. This guy had the nerve to take his shirt off in front of me with sweat dripping on his abs, hair slightly messy to the side, and leans back with his grey sweat pants on.

GREY SWEATS!! Like cmon. I could barely concentrate on the game after awhile admiring how painly handsome. I felt very guilty because I was still dating Mark at the time, but my mind was going 2 different directions.

“Hey y/n if your hot you can take your shirt off too. I thought my mom had the mechanic fixed the ac by now so sorry about that.” There he goes sticking his tongue out like that again. Does he have no shame.

“Umm, Hyuck I just remembered I have a test on Friday to study for. Tootles!” I knew if I would’ve stayed in his room much longer I would’ve either passed out or sink deep into his tempting body leaning against mine. It was not only the heat in the room that was driving me crazy, but my beating heart that was burning my chest.

Before I tried to leave he shut the door and pushed me against the wall staring deep into my eyes. “You know princess, we don’t have a math test Friday right? I’m in the same class as you.”

This man uggh, next he proceeds to make me look at him in the eye by lifting my chin up. “D-did I say math test, silly me. I meant biology test.” After laughing awkwardly for a while I realized he wasn’t laughing with me like he usually does. It was like the vibe changed in a matter of 5 sec.

“Listen y/n...I know your dating Mark and all, but would it be wrong to just let me hold you one last time.” Yeah it would be awful, especially when your still technically half naked in front of me.

I’ve never even gotten close to kissing Mark before, yet my friend of 6 years is going to do it. So I had to run out of there before things got worse. “I-I can’t do that Hyuck. You know that wouldn’t be right. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

“I'm thinking that one day you'll be mine. And I don't wanna lose you.”

I ran home as fast as I can hyperventilating before I let myself caught any feelings. The truth was for awhile I only wanted to date Mark to try to forget about Hyuck, but after that night I’ve started to realize that I can’t escape my feelings that I have for him it’s impossible.

I love him more than anyone in this world. The thought of that saying had me laughing and crying that night.

June 26th, the day Donghyuck will have one last chance to confess his feelings before his princess y/n leaves off to go to school. Y/N and Donghyuck both run out of each other’s house and decided to meet up at the swing set after 6 years.

They both sit down sighing looking up at the orange sunset sky that’s shinning throughout the area. The two of them slowly swing looking down at the ground waiting for the other person to speak up first.

“So...I bet you probably heard the news already huh? I’ve finally got accept to Harvard. So tomorrow I’ll be going back to my hometown to begin my semester in fall.” Donghyuck responds back by saying.

“I know, I heard from my mom. She nearly cried. You know it would’ve been nice to hear from you. I haven’t seen you since last week.” Y/n finally looks up at him with tears falling down her face.

“Hyuck I’ve been going through so much this past week. I’ve broken up with Mark, my brother was stuck in the hospital and I almost had to repeat senior year if I didn’t pass that state test. So I’m sorry I didn’t contact you lately.”

Hyuck quickly stands up and hugs y/n gently by stroking her hair. “It would’ve been nice to hear your voice. I miss you and I love you.”

They both freeze up at the words he just said “Y-you what now?” Hyuck gulps at first, but then he snaps out of it ready to pour his heart out.”

“LISTEN PRINCESS I LOVE YOU OKAY?? Not just as a friend either. This whole year I never got to hang out with you and I don't know how to pretend, I hate falling in love with my best friend. That night you left my room I almost gave up on us, but I knew I had to tell you before you walk out of my life. Talk about bad timing right?”

Y/N starts giggling wiping her tears for a split second but then smiles by saying.

“I love you too Donghyuck. I have for a long time actually I just didn’t want to ruin my one and only specially friendship I had with you. I was even thinking that trying to move on by dating someone else would work, but it didn’t. Without you in my life, I am blue as the sky.”

The two of you of crack up laughing again at your embarrassing thoughts of each other, but immediately stop trying to think of what should happen next.

“We’re truly some idiots. Now we only have a few hours left of being a couple before you leave. So what happens next y/n?”

Y/n sits on Hyuck’s lap hugging him tightly and leans into his face by saying. “No worries we’ll figure this out once I move. For right now let’s just enjoy our last few hours together as a couple.”

Hyuck wraps arms around y/n waist and feels his heart skipping a beat once she starts kissing him softly in his ear. “Princess you know I’m very ticklish right there.” Ignoring his comments y/n proceeds to kiss his ear again, but then starts trailing down to his neck.

“My B-E-S-T, a true friend to me. Give me love and energy, that is what you send to me”

“Mmm keep calling me princess and I promise you I won’t be able to hold back.” He wiggles his eyebrows at your bold response and smirks by saying...

“Well what’s stoping you? We can do it right here right now on these swing sets.” He starts sliding your hands in your thighs while finally kissing you on your lips.

All that built up passion and emotion was easily displayed as you were kissing him. Not to mention the fact that he’s sliding his hand in your jeans which is making it hard for you to keep your voice down.

“Ahh keep it down y/n...Do you want the neighbors to hear you?” He teases you more by moving your hand in his jeans. “Do it for me too.”

“Lee Donghyuck, are you crazy?? Why don’t we just do this in your room. We will get caught for sure.” He pouts for a second and says

“Yes I’m crazy for you. You already know this though. How about this, we can finish this in my room and we can just tell my mom we stayed up playing games again all night long. Deal?”

“Deal!” You give him one last peck on the lips and grab him by running into his house like there’s no tomorrow. “Slow down princess!” The two of you slammed the door in his room and for the whole night you never dared to leave his side for a split second.

“It's what you do to me.”

The morning after ended up becoming very emotional for the both of you, because this is the last the you’ll be seeing each other face to face until the both of you are done with school. While he’s off becoming a singer, you’ll be on your way becoming a lawyer.

Out of all the places you could possibly move away from again your home next to Donghyuck and his family was the hardest to leave from. You made so many memories here and would cherish it for the rest of your life.

Before heading the road you give your best friend and now boyfriend one last hug and kiss on the forehead before putting your last luggage in the trunk and hitting the road to start your journey.

Although your both moving on to different paths of life career wise, you both will always have your history together and promised to reunite as a couple again when the time is right.

Thanks so much for reading this far you guys and feedback would be much appreciated. ✨

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 🏷 : @himitsu-luna @starrdustville @xxminmixx @dundun-baby @purplepsycho03 @kpopsnowball

Send an ask if you want to be added or removed from the tag list. 💫💫💫

[the-bau-quinjet]

Walk Me Home

Chapter 3 of In Breakable Heaven! I don’t love this chapter, but it felt necessary. idk. Everything picks up in the next one!

Summary: It’s pretty much all in the title! 

Warnings: confronting a cheating ex

Word Count: ~2200

“You really didn’t need to walk me home. I didn’t mean to make you leave earlier than you wanted.” You said as you walked next to Spencer.

“Trust me. I’m normally home by now anyway.” He replied easily. You shifted closer as you thought about the buildings surrounding your apartment complex.

 “Where do you live?” You blurted out, unable to think of anything else to say.

 “Oh, I live in Langham Apartments.” He replied. You thought about the name, recognizing it as you had toured there when you first moved to DC.

 “Isn’t that North of Penelope’s though?” You said, double checking you were walking south toward your own apartment.

 He sighed. “Yes… I know what you’re thinking. Your place is definitely not on the way to mine, but I didn’t want you to walk by yourself and I didn’t think you would let me walk with you unless you thought it was convenient for me. More than 70% of violent crimes happen at night, and midnight to 1:00 AM is the busiest hour for many of those crimes.” You stopped walking, turning him to look at you by grabbing his hands. “Thank you.” You said it with as much sincerity as possible, wanting him to know how much you really appreciate the action.

 You dropped one hand so he could turn back around, but held the other as you walked down the street in a comfortable silence. You were still drunk enough to not think anything of the innocent act. A cat ran out in front of you, scaring you in your still tipsy state. You jumped into Spencer, with your hands grabbing his arm, and you pulled yourself closer to him. He laughed as he saw the source of your sudden fear. Shuffling past the feline, you didn’t make any effort to distance yourself from him. If anything, you leaned on him more as you grew tired throughout the walk.

 You didn’t want to say goodbye as you arrived home. Spencer, being the incredibly intelligent and observant person he is, felt you tense beside him as you turned the corner and your building came into view. “Are you okay?” He asked as your grip on his arm tightened.

 “Yeah, I just… it was a lot easier to think I would be able to get rid of all his stuff before actually having to look at it.” You replied.

 You saw something flash across Spencer’s face before he stuttered “I, uh, I guess, I could, um, go up with you, uh, if you think it’ll help.” You turned to him, a small grin slowly spreading across your face.

 “That would be amazing. I just don’t think I can be alone right now.” You were entering the elevator, pressing the button for the fourth floor before returning to cling to his arm.

 Nothing could have prepared you for the sight in front of you as the elevator doors opened. You held tighter to Spencer’s arm as you realized it was Drew standing in front of your apartment door. He looked almost sad, but quickly shifted to anger as he glanced down at your hands around Spencer’s arm. “Drew, I don’t want you here. I want to move on from my life and pretend like you were never in it.” You could feel the tears pooling in your eyes, threatening to escape as you confronted Drew.

 “I came to apologize, but obviously you already found someone to move on with. You were probably already sleeping with him.” Drew’s words felt like a whip hitting you in the face.

 “How. Dare. You.” You spit back at him, the tears giving away to pure hatred. “You are not even the least bit sorry. God. You don’t get to yell at me for having a friend- that’s right A FRIEND, help me through the complete bullshit you’ve put me through. You are the one who cheated on me. On our fucking anniversary. You don’t get to spin this around and act like I’m a bad person for trying to forget you. Get the hell out of my apartment building or so help me god I will…” You trailed off, not knowing what you could possibly say that would intimidate him.

 “You’ll what? You can’t do anything to me Y/N.” Drew’s eyes were cold and careless as he laughed at your rage.

 “She actually can. She can file a restraining order.” Spencer started. “You see, I work for the FBI in a unit that specializes in catching the world’s worst criminals. We’ve handled our fair share of stalking cases. I will not hesitate to see you prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law if you so much as think about contacting her again.” Spencer’s eyes were hard. He was staring down at Drew as if he were invincible. You clung to him as Drew muttered “Yeah, whatever. Like I’d waste my time on her anyway” before leaving.

 You forced a smile on your face as you walked into your apartment and looked at Spencer. You wanted to be happy that he’s gone, completely out of your life, but you just felt empty. You have experienced way too many emotions for one night and you know exactly what you need right now. Rushing over to your speaker, you turn it on and pull up your Taylor Swift playlist for when you are feeling everything all at once. What can you say, the woman really knows how to write emotions. As you hear the soft music of this is me trying begin to play, you sink into the couch and start crying.

 Spencer shuffles over from where you left him by the door. As he sits next to you, unsure of what to do next. He’s not really sure why you put on this song. It sounds like it will only play into your upset state. You know you just need to flush yourself of the emotions before ridding your life of him entirely. Instead of asking about the music, he surprises both of you by pulling you into his lap and rubbing circles on your back. The small gesture is so kind that you start crying even harder, remembering how nice you thought Drew was. You aren’t sure how long you cry for before you eventually fall asleep.

 -- 

Reid’s POV

Spencer wasn’t sure why he was so set on walking you home, but upon seeing your reaction to Drew standing outside your door, he’s very glad he did. He’s never really been an intimidating person, but there was some instinctual feeling in him to protect you. Not that he thinks you need protection. He just knows you are in an emotionally fragile state and the man who put you there just accused you of the exact thing he had done hours before. It was pretty messed up. Maybe that is why he threw all his rules out the window for you.

 He really doesn’t understand the choice of music. Although, it does cover a range of emotions. The only thing he is completely sure about is that he never wants to see you this sad ever again. Maybe that is why he pulls you into his lap. You clearly need comfort right now, and it would be worse if he just awkwardly left. His barrier to touch has never been broken down so easily. It takes a lot of getting to know someone before Spencer would ever even consider shaking their hand.

 The songs shift from gut-wrenchingly sad to sweetly reminiscent to seductive before he’s sure you’ve fallen asleep. Every time he tries to stop rubbing your back, the softest whimper leaves your lips. At least, that’s what he tells himself as he drifts off, dreaming about meeting you under happier circumstances.

 --

 Y/N POV

In typical fashion after a night of drinking, you wake up around 6:30 wide awake. As your eyes adjust to the dim light, you notice you are still on the couch, but now laying down, with Spencer’s arms still wrapped around you. He looks so adorable sleeping. You slowly untangle yourself from him, so as not to wake him up, before walking into the kitchen for some water. It’s always good to hydrate, even if you don’t ever feel the hangover.

 You began thinking about what you could do to thank Spencer for everything he did last night. Not to mention you forced him to sleep on the couch. You settled on breakfast, but you knew if you started cooking you would wake him up. After finally deciding on a plan, you quickly get dressed. You grabbed your keys and left a post it on the door saying you would be right back, just in case he woke up before you returned.

 You quickly ran across the street to your favorite diner. Not knowing what Spencer would like, you order pancakes, French toast, an omelet, two different breakfast skillets, a sandwich, and sides of bacon, sausage, and toast. While you’re waiting for the order, you walk farther down the street to the small coffee shop you frequent. Again, you could only guess how Spencer liked his coffee so you ordered your usual mocha with extra sugar, a cold brew, and a hot black coffee. After collecting your drinks, you make your way back to the diner to pick up the food.

 It is a struggle to re-enter your apartment with all the food you just bought in your hands. When you finally push the door open, you see a confused Spencer sitting up on the couch glancing in your direction. He glances at the bags in your hands and his confusion only grows. With his help, you finally manage to set everything down on the counter. “Coffee?” You ask, gesturing to the cups.

 “Which one is for me?” he chuckles. “Oh! Right, I got a few different kinds since I didn’t know what you’d like. You can just take your pick and I’ll grab one after.” You begin to unpack the food choices as he tries the first coffee. Almost instantly he gags.

 “That one must be mine.” You say sheepishly as you take the cup from him. “That’s the usual response when people try my drink of choice.” He looks at you funny as he settles on a cup.

 “Really? I thought that was a normal order. I just like my coffee different than pretty much everyone.”

 You look at him as you take a sip of the drink, instantly spitting it into the sink that was behind you. “ew ew ew, that is black coffee. That is disgusting. Oh my god how can anyone drink that.” You chug some water to rinse the taste from your mouth. “Which coffee did you pick?” you ask as you grab the creamer and sugar to fix the monstrosity in front of you.

 “The sweetest one…” Spencer looks almost shy as he admits how sweet he likes his coffee.

 “Ahh, the mocha with extra sugar. That’s my go to.” You say as you dump the sixth spoonful of sugar into your dup. He stares at you in amazement as you finish stirring the now creamy looking beverage. “Much better” you exclaim after taking a sip.

 “I have never met anyone who likes their coffee as sweet as I do.” Spencer has a dopey grin on his face as he looks at your cup. “It’s refreshing not to be judged for something so minute.”

 “I know exactly what you mean! It’s so weird how people can think they are superior for some reason just because their taste buds don’t automatically reject the disgusting bitterness of unsweetened coffee. I mean, I’m still a perfectly capable adult even though I like sugary things. You don’t have to fit into some mold…” Your rant fades from your mind as you meet Spencer’s gaze. “Sorry, I tend to ramble.” You look sheepishly at the floor, immediately jumping into describing the foods you bought. “Now, as for breakfast. I wanted to say thank you for last night, but I wanted to make sure I got something you liked.”

 You scan the array of food you’ve placed in front of you. “You can even feel free to have some of each if you want!” You say as Spencer just stares at you with a look on his face that you can’t quite place.

 “You are incredible,” he says as he takes a seat and gets some food. You don’t really know how to respond to that, so you just grab some food for yourself as you sit down across from him.

 Talking with Spencer during breakfast is so easy. It’s almost as if you didn’t have a major break-up less than 24 hours ago. All too soon, breakfast had come to an end and there are no more dishes to do or leftovers to clean up to stall anymore. Spencer grabs his bag and says “I should probably get going, I have a few errands to run.”

 You let out a small sigh before responding “oh, yeah, of course. I wouldn’t want to keep you. Thank you again for everything yesterday. It was really nice of you.” Spencer shrugs before responding, “I just wanted to help,” turning and walking out of your apartment.

 After locking the door behind him, you sink to the floor fully letting your strange mix of emotions take over. You just might need to listen to that playlist again, only now you’re feeling a range of emotions instead of just a range of sadness.

 tag list:

@mac99martin @eevee0722 @l0ve-0f-my-life @haylaansmi @dinonuggets15 @laurakirsten0502 @green-intervention @burnin-passion

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, SE03, Ep1

I’m here! The final season continues from where se02 oddly left, right in the middle of a conversation! XD.

-Tohru’s crushed heart (scarf): Excellent symbolism!

Tohru, burdened with trying to lift the curse of teen & adult sohmas, is now also troubled by trying to help Arisa’s romantic life is sad for akito! Too much for compassionate selfless tohru. Unable to help, protect & erase the pain, tohru crumbles. Freezes. Her white scarf (heart) flies away, gets crushed by cars & becomes dirty. But here comes a boy ( who thinks himself a monster) picks it up, cleans & returns it back. He thinks nothing of his deed. nothing heroic abt saving a scarf, really. But do we need to be heroes to save others? kyo saves tohru by being kyo. Not the zodiac cat & not the menacing monster. Her heart is saved by him, shown much care & returned back. Mind you, the heart (scarf) is not brand new after the delima. It’s not very clean after being crushed, some marks remain, but these are marks of growth!!! you walk away after hardships carrying minor scars of victory. This scene solidify kyo’s role in tohru’s life as an equal companion. Not a heroic prince charming. It is the little things he does that shows who he is. kyo isn’t abt big soft words, he doesn't say the best things. he is a man of action. His care, love & compassion comes so very easily & naturally to him thro actions. This is what yuki meant by saying he’s jealous of kyo. Yuki over thinks his steps & doubt everything before he acts. Kyo acts spontaneously then doubts himself later. He saves the scarf (heart) then tells her directly to buy another one if she feels it’s not clean. He failed to see how this trivial action meant the world to tohru. Tohru smiles lively cuz her heart is back to her.

Why is the scarf scene so important? (aka furuba’s best usage of symbolism yet!)

It symbolizes tohru’s toxic flaw that she must overcome! It represents tohru’s tormented heart over other ppl’s pain with severe neglect to her own problems & issues. Arisa’s love life shouldn’t be tohru’s delima, nor Akito’s complex or Kureno’s or the damned curse. Tohru toxically chooses to bear other burdens’ until they crush her.

Hana can’t come to save tohru from pain each time tohru indulges in it. Tohru must realize her own flaw & grow up beyond this toxic type of kindness. Feel & help others, but don’t use them to escape your pain & don’t indulge in their own struggles & neglect yourself. There is a reason hana’s knowing of tohru’s pain is thro “magical” waves, to symbolize that this can’t become a norm, not real. You can’t depend on magic to grow. I love that!

The white scarf bearing smudges of the tires even after kyo washed it shows that kyo’s love & care can’t magically heal all tohru’s pain. It parallels kyo’s words from se01, ep,24 when he said tohru didn’t heal all his pain, but he feels better simply cuz she stayed by his side. Tohru now is feeling better cuz kyo chose was there for her. Love doesn’t magically heal you, kids! But it sure puts you on the path! Also, this once again adds more depth to the (tohru/kyo) equal give & take dynamics.

This scene deconstruct the image of Tohru represented as an angelic mother throughout 2 seasons. Instead, It paints her as a real flawed girl with much need for growth. Exactly, like how we have learned by now that kyo isn’t a horrible monster nor a prince charming saving the day, but a flawed boy with much need for growth. However, these two push each other forward in a subtle way through daily situations! Excellent writing!!

-Kureno. (aka. who tohru should never become):

The harmful kindness: Kureno is someone who hurts himself & hurt many others (akito, arisa, shigure, & consequently the rest of the zodiacs) by giving the harmful types of kindness to akito, by completely erasing his own needs, desires & living for the sake of someone who would be far better without him. Kureno is who tohru might have become if she selflessly continues fighting solely for the sohma’s sake & trying to break the curse while ignoring her own life. She’ll become as miserable as kureno & the zodiacs will become dependable on her.

The destructive pity: Kureno pities this tormented child (akito) & chooses to stay with her until her tears dry. This pity is destructive cuz it is done while he wishes to be miles away with Arisa & it encourages akito to stay as she is. Look, a child whose mom hates her deserves pity. But an adult woman needs to learn to build relationships based on mutual affection & respect. This talk of pity reminds me of kyo & kagura. Kagura pitied the cat zodiac. The relationship was doomed cuz kyo refuses pity. It doesn’t matter if her pity turned into love later. Kyo doesn’t want that from her or anyone. There is NO equality there. We know tohru came to love kyo for all the times he was there for her & all the times he pushed her to improve, to complain, to want things! she said so in se01, ep, 24. But we also know that young baby tohru pitied the cat when her mom told her the zodiacs story. what if kyo thinks tohru’s affection is pity???? that’s a big NO for him & for every person. I really want tohru to be as far from any kurno’s traits as possible!!!

-Akito, the pitiful woman:

Akito was born a girl, forced to be raised as a boy by her mother’s demands? where is the father?? she was hated by her mother. why? she also hates her mom. (hate your child & they’ll hated you). So, akito is doomed by her mom. Akito tries to prove that she’s loved by the zodiac “she specified the male zodiacs” interesting! we saw how she hates both Isuzu & kisa & doesn’t give a damn abt kagura. This woman, forced to pose as a man, actually desires to be treated as a woman. As for the other zodiacs:

No worries abt hatori leaving cuz he’s 24/7 attending to her health.

Ayame makes tea exclusively for her & hatori.

she thinks Ritsu is too timid to attempt leaving.

Hiro’s a baby, momiji is hated cuz she can’t break him.

Kyo is destined to be locked. but Why she cares abt the cat anyway?? She publicly hates him & feels disgusted by him.

She used to control yuki but can’t anymore.

she uses intimacy to bound those who “can” leave her the most: kurno! & shigure? she sleeps next to shigure in the valentine ep. hatori remarked: don’t let akito catch cold. We saw the sexually charged rage in se02, ep10. So, she isn’t faithful to kureno. They don’t have a relationship. She doesn’t even have a relationship with shigure, either. to her, sex is a tool to tie them both to her?

It is ironic that the person who said she despises woman & accuses Isuzu of seducing hatori is herself seducing others. Except, tragically, kureno isn’t with her for herself, but cuz he pities her. We saw her slapping & embracing him. Next scene; her bare shoulders & his unbuttoned shirt clearly implies they got intimate which is what akito does to feel secure in kureno not leaving her. Kureno is not even interested in her despite submitting to her advances, needs & orders. He does it out of pity. Truly the most tragic form of physical affection: sex for pity. wow... how tragically pitiful is the abusive ruler of the zodiacs who looms over them & demands respect & eternal bonds. How can she find someone who’ll love her for herself, if she doesn’t learn to show good sides of her? Yuki wasn’t loved for who he is in school, but for being the “prince”, he showed his real character & got himself true friends & soon a lover!!!  Kyo, was feared & pitied for turning into a “monster”, but once he showed his kind & harmless self, he got himself true friends & a girl who loves him for his actual personality! Who will love akito for who she is if she only shows a spoiled child, horrible family head or a pitiful woman? What does shigure love in her? he doesn’t seem to pity her nor pamper her much, does he?  perhaps we’ll know more abt the real akito later.

Side notes:

Akito’s mom reminded me of kyo’s dad. Abused children, who are hated by their parents, don’t let go of the hurt easily. they’ll always try to either get their approval, show them they were worthy of their love, or they’re NOTHING like their parents think they are. eg: Kyo’s biological father’s hate has destroyed kyo. Kyo have kazuma & tohru & he still wonder why they love him. It took kyo 17 years to actually promise to call kazuma "dad” one day in se01 finale. You need time to heal the wounds inflected by the ones who should love you the most. Being loved by others doesn’t magically heal you! You need to take few steps forward.

Isuzu is Ren’s clone! finally understanding why the severe hate from akito towards Isuzu. I’ll wait for more Ren/Akito content before analyzing their relationship.

Ren is so sexy. ngl, the scene of the zodiacs touching her belly after she just *conceived* akito is so creepy~ ew! 

Hana picked up tohru first before kyo, cuz this show isn’t exclusive for romantic love as much as it isn’t exclusive for friendship. There is balance. 

Tohru needs her own future, so does Arisa & hana! Learn to accept the limit of what you can do as a friend, tohru.. forever loving furuba for steering away from “friends stay together forever~yay” anime trope! Furuba is abt independent & individual adult life! building your own future! Epic writing!

Forever fascinated by how much the little small ordinary daily life things has really built kyo-tohru love! It feels so real & very uniquely built! Excellent writing!

Arisa is stuck with an adult man trapping himself in the most unnecessary love triangle. Kureno’s cage is self made, no curse. A very sheltered boy/man not living in the real world. Only two options for kureno if he continues this path: he’ll hurt akito, or akito will hurt him. We know the answer from the trailer, don’t we?

Arisa letting go of kuron is growth! Let go & live, girl!

There is a subtle theme of learning to let go in furuba~

Yuki is the biggest kyoru shipper!

Tohru intentionally hitting kyo with scarf’s pon-pon is my fave side of her! intentional flirting shows change from her little girl’s good girl attitude to her own type of a feisty woman! after all, she’s nearly 18!

The way the camera moved when kyo spotted the scarf was so good!

The director is obsessed with flying!! did he work on attack on titans? cuz the Ren-akito flying fight reminded me of Titan Eren strangling Titan Annie in AOT se01 finale! but chibi version! XD. I’m sorry for akito’s pain, but I was distracted by laughing! XD

look, if you plan to dramatize a situation, know your budget & your skills. Obviously, the director knew the scene is badly done, hence, the wide far away, dim lit shot to hide as much as it can. Couldn’t he do without it? let akito strangle her to the ground without flying!

oh well~these over-the-top shots are now a furuba trade mark~ just praying they stick with one weird shot per season.

[stevesharrlngtons]

Ooh, I really wanna see Roman all grumpy at a flea market 😂

41. flea market

the scowl that roman’s face held was not only completely unignorable, but came with sound effects. 

ew’s and ugh’s and scoffs and tuts left your boyfriend as you wandered from booth to booth, all the while inspecting each vendor with villainous intensity. he would stiffen if you picked something up and only exhale when you put it down. you were getting quite sick of his eccentric performance. 

“you know, you could at least pretend that you’re having fun,” you commented. 

roman awkwardly shifted his feet behind you as he muttered a disgusted noise. 

“how in the hell am i supposed to pretend to have fun, here?” he sneered, “a gathering named after a pest?” 

he watched as you picked up a set of betty boop salt and pepper shakers and practically slapped them from your hands. 

“absolutely not.”

“what? i like them, they’re campy!” you chided, reaching for them again. but roman interrupted your search and took you by the wrist and drug you away. 

“hey!” 

“i am not going to put food, that i will ingest, in something used, (y/n).” he shuttered. 

“so, i’m not allowed the betty boop salt and pepper shakers, i’m not allowed the armoire because you’re convinced it has bed bugs, and i’m not allowed the creepy clown dish because it’s tacky, is that correct?” you crossed your arms. 

you scoffed as roman nodded, his face telling you he thought all his gripes were justified. 

“i mean, tacky and cursed.”

“roman, listen, this is a partnership, is it not? that means that in this partnership, i am allowed to buy what i want, if i like it, to decorate my home with.”

“our home,” he stressed.

“yes, our home. and i’m apart of that our, and i don’t want it all to be the weird bachelor pad bullshit that it is currently filled with.” 

roman rolled his eyes, “i can’t believe you are calling my stuff weird. i saw that weird nude sculpture you wanted!” 

“it’s abstract. it’s not my fault you don’t get expressionism,” you shrugged and walked around him to continue through the market. 

you heard him grumble before he followed. 

“i guess i’ve never been one for kitschy crap or metaphors.”

“and i’ve never been one for sterile monochrome blandness, but hey, i’ve never complained,” you replied with a tight lipped smile. 

“are you seriously mad about this? because i don’t want to invite bed bugs and cursed clown dishes into our space?” roman stepped in front of your path to stop you. 

“yeah, a little.”

“jesus fucking christ, you’re being ridiculous” he swore and you pushed past him once again. 

“well, then maybe i should rethink this whole thing! maybe i should go back and get my creepy clown dish, and my betty boops and my amorie! and i’ll have my own apartment full of ridiculous, used, cursed items full of bed bugs! and i’ll love it because it’s my style. and no one will be around to make fun of it,” and you turned on your heel and marched with purpose away from him. 

it wasn’t the end of the world if you didn’t get to decorate the way you wanted. the individual items meant little to you, but it was the principal. it was the point of the matter, that it seemed that roman did not want any evidence of your existence in his space. yes, you knew that he struggled with change, but you thought if he could jump the hurdle of asking you to move in, your belongings strewn throughout wouldn’t matter. 

as you made your way deeper and deeper into the flea market, you wondered if this was a sign. a sign that roman didn’t want your touch on his home because he knew he wouldn’t be able to give up his womanizing ways, and he didn’t want evidence of a live in girlfriend all around. was this an omen? was this a red flag that you would look back on? or one you would act on now? 

you fumbled through a rack of vintage t-shirts, barely registering the designs in your contemplating new funk, when you heard roman’s tell tale retch behind you. 

over your shoulder, you watched as roman kept his arms close to his body as he weaved through other patrons. he avoided them like they would burn him with acid if he got to close and the unbridled judgment and disgust on his face with shocking, even for him. as he neared you, you spotted a brown paper bag in his hand. 

“i thought you would have left,” you said when he reached you, your nose stuck up and your hands stuffed in your jacket pockets. 

“here,” roman said, not addressing your claim. 

when you didn’t take the bag immediately, he extended his arm further and shook it with impatience. 

“take the fuck shit, alright?” 

you cautiously took the bag from him, and inside was the salt and pepper shakers, the dish and a gorgeous silk scarf you had pondered after for a moment. 

you looked up at him with wide eyes, and roman’s shoulders rolled under your gaze. 

“the armoire is being delivered tomorrow. i got a good deal on it, too.” 

“ro, i --” but roman stopped you. 

“i love you. i do... and if this is you, and this is what you like, and what will make you happy... then yeah, i don’t know. i can live with it.” he tried to speak as casually as possible, like this revelation of compromise wasn’t a giant moment in your relationship and in your worried pondering moments earlier. 

“i love you, too. thank you.” you grinned. 

“yeah, yeah, whatever.” roman sniffed loudly and avoided your lovesick gaze.

it only made you grin wider, before you flung yourself into his arms. he caught you with ease and pulled you tight to his chest.

“thank you for letting me have all the weird, creepy junk that i want!” 

“so, you admit that it is creepy and weird? and junk?” 

“just for that, i’m buying that creepy victorian photo album i found,” you patted his chest firmly, kissed him sweetly, then extracted yourself to go quickly in search of the album before he could stop you. 

roman sighed deeply, following you as he pulled out some hand sanitizer from his pocket. he was going to have to sage the whole fucking house by the time you were done with it.     

[teawiththegods]

I introduced myself to Dionysus a few days ago (at the beginning of lenaia) and sat down with him every evening to drink a cup of tea and talk to him. I already like him so much, but I'm scared that he doesn't like me or doesn't want to work with me. I know this is pretty irrational, but I want a deep relationship with him so much, but my godphone is really bad and I'm always looking for signs but never get any, and I'm just scared and don't know what to do. Do you maybe have some advice for me?

Hello, love!! Congrats on the introduction!! 

So firstly, the gods aren’t the mean popular girls at school. They aren’t going to look at you go “ew” and then proceed to treat you like you’re invisible all throughout high school. The gods are enlightened higher divine beings that WANT to interact with mortals and form relationships with us. I think it’s important to acknowledge now that the worry of not being liked or a god not wanting to work with you is very likely your own insecurities and negative self-talk being projected on to Dionysus. Especially when you take into account you haven’t been able to even communicate with him yet so you have no way of knowing if any of that is actually true. Your insecurities are already trying to set you up for rejection when you barely even started! 

I’m also bringing this up because I have a lot (and I mean A LOT) of experiences with insecurities and esp negative self-talk get in the way of my divine relationships. I actually just pulled myself out of a very dark place where I could barely hear or feel the gods. And I’m someone who has been worshiping for years and have a pretty good handle on communication yet I still have moments where i struggle and most of the time those are of my own creation. It’s not the gods pulling away, abandoning me, or remaining silent when I need them. It’s my negativity that’s putting up invisible barriers between me and their light. 

Another piece of advice is to think about what exactly you’re expecting. I get a lot of new worshipers in my inbox with specific and high expectations of what is meant to happen and when, but the truth is that there really is no one way for communication to happen or how each of us experience it. You very well could be falling victim to having certain expectations that are causing you to miss the actual signs that are appearing. Also it’s so important to remember that this stuff takes time. I understand the impatience but communication is ultimately a skill that requires practice. It’s not always an automatic thing especially for those just starting out. 

Also it takes time to figure out the best ways for you and Dionysus to communicate. I’ve been doing this shit for years now and I only just realized that music is one of the main ways me and the gods communicate. There are so many different methods out there so try not to focus so much on one way.

TLDR: 

The gods want to work with you don't let your insecurities tell you otherwise 

Check and lower your expectations

Communication takes time bc its a skill that needs to be developed

There are many methods of communication to explore so don’t focus so much on one method

Be patient!