#and i really needed this because i’ve been so burnt out studying for exams

[noradoesrevision]

Day 1/70: burnt out study diaries

Honestly today was the best day I’ve had in a while.

Who knew that leaving the house, exercising and socialising with friends could brighten one’s outlook on life so much??

Anyways I’m gonna try really hard to do these updates regularly, because I just don’t have time to waste before exams.

Recently I’ve been feeling so burnt out, tired and have been struggling a lot to concentrate. But I’m back to semi-healthy habits now like sleeping a bit more and exercising, so I’m just gonna keep that up and hope it helps improve ability to do school stuff.

To-dos:

Finish the dam stats paper

Finish the dam biology paper

Watch stats videos

Even though I didn’t get everything done today, I still did way more than I have in a while and I managed to focus a lot better (I think a change of scenery can help). I still do get distracted a lot but it’s better and that’s positive at least.

Biology and mechanics mocks tomorrow, ahhh

(Actually rlly stressed bc I need As and A*s and I’ve been getting like Cs and Ds in practice papers)

Okay, gonna go to bed now and get that sleep I was talking about (although I might read first….)

Goodnight :)))

[lantanasmuttyfanfics]

Part 2 of the dexter kissing cupids cheek fic?

Heyyy guys kinda not my fault for not posting cause I’ve had mocks (important exams) this past week and I’ve been cramped with studying

Anyway part 1 of this fic was posted like a month ago I’d say you do need to read it before this one just for it to make sense but I think it’ll be fine if u don’t

Hope you enjoyed and have a great dayy!!

————————————

Raven was ignoring him.

He could sense it. Sure she wasn’t outright turning the other way when he came to view but it was darn close to it.

The only time he could get her to speak to him or even stand beside him was in chemistry where she sat in front of him.

And even then she managed to evade him most of the time. Whether that was by asking Sparrow about some new music thing he was doing or pretending she was doing work.

Worst part was the look she’d give him when Cupid came over. He couldn’t quite distinguish it but it seemed like hurt crossed her face.

So here he was now sitting down with his sister trying to understand.

“Do you think she just doesn’t like me anymore?”

Darling gave him an eye roll, crossing her arms and she leaned forward. Her face yelling at him that he was baking stupid.

“Dexter… just- think for a moment.”

“That’s all I’ve been doing!”

“Ok we’ll think back to Briars party. Did anything happen that might have upset Raven.”

Dexter racked through his head, trying to figure it out. Maybe it was because Cupid- no no that would be silly Raven knew that him and Cupid were just friends.

“… no?”

Darling paused for a second her mouth opening and closing before she pointed at herself.

“Ok think of it like that. If I was interested in someone, but I saw them kissing an other guy on the cheek I would be…”

She let him finish the sentence, huffing out in delight as it finally registered in his mind.

But now that it had, he was more confused. Did Raven say that they were just friends, yet if what Darling was hinting was true then…

He suddenly jumped up, thanking his sister as he practically ran down the hall to Raven castle management class.

Soon enough the bell rang and there he saw her. She was walking by with Apple, laughing as they exited the class.

“Raven? Can we talk?”

It seemed that she was about to ignore him before Apple gently shoved her towards him. “Sure. Umm how are you-.”

“Cupids kiss was nothing-!”

Silence fell between them as they now stood in the empty hall. Gazing at one another with uncertainty.

“What I meant to say was that the Cupid stuff was just friendly. I umm gave her the wrong message and when she went to kiss me I panicked and deflected it.”

Ravens mouth dried up as she continued to listen to him. And something like hope started to grow in her chest as she waited.

Once he was done she didn’t know how to feel. It was a mixture of relief and confusion, like all emotions were jumping at her.

Dexter was panicking. It had been nearly a while minute and Raven still hasn’t responded. Maybe his feelings really were one sided and Raven meant what she said. Maybe-.

“I’m glad… because if it had been more than just friend I’d have felt guilty for doing this…”

Before he could question her, Dexter suddenly felt warm lips meat his own. He froze for a second before his arms unconsciously wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer.

Once she pulled away Dexter found himself chasing her lips, the desire to taste lips once more gnawing at his brain.

But at last Raven gave him a flirty smile before waking away.

—————————

Back with the ogs and one of my personal faves (call me basic idc) and I shouldn’t have to say this but I’m not trying to villainize Cupid or any character it’s just for fics sake

Anyway to all the americas good fucking luck with that burnt orange as president all I have to say is I’m glad I’m not American (no hate pls)

Hope you enjoyed and have a great dayy!!

[saragrekey]

little art chat before I go to sleep… this is nothing important just a thought dump/update/blogpost idk

So we’re a little over a week into my junior year of college and as expected! I don’t want to do my schoolwork I just want to draw lol.

When I first started my whole -drawing everyday to improve- thing last summer, I was just drawing pinterest faces, so I’d spend 30 minutes in the morning doing a sketch and that would fill my quota for the day. Now that I’m learning how to draw from imagination, my goals are so much more lofty and I have a lot more to practice. Which is been so fun!

But maybe too fun!

I’m struggling to pull my focus away from drawing. This was already an issue during the summer when I didn’t have many responsibilities, and now I obviously have a lot more on my plate. And I just cannot bring myself to focus on school.

Which is something I’ve struggled with for awhile, I’m just completely burnt out of the cycle of working at maximum capacity and pulling all nighters for an exam or critique over and over again. I’m just very over it, lol, but on the same note, I have such deep rooted anxiety about getting in trouble for not having my work or getting a bad grade. So you can see the predicament I’m in!

Idk. I’m not very smart or gifted when it comes to school but I got good grades in high school without having to study, so I just never figured out how to really learn and study correctly. Every assignment, lesson, exam is just a task to be completed, not building upon a collection of knowledge. Why would I review the course a little bit each day when I can cram it all the night before the exam and get the same grade? /j

A lot of it is of course just skills I gotta develop. I definitely need to improve my discipline and time management.

This was not meant to be about school lol. But all that to say, I just can’t seem to care about my homework, and improving my art is infinitely more important to me. But that’s obviously not how it works. I have that thing where I crave routine but can’t stick to one. I daydream about having a super nice organized routine where I can fit a couple hours of practice here and enough time for homework and maybe a little time for video games every once and awhile. I miss video games.

Hopefully I’ll find my footing as we progress through the semester. If you see me start talking about doing any kind of inktober, yell at me bc I definitely don’t have time for it 😭

I’ve not posted any art in awhile! I have been going through a bit of a rusty patch, kinda from school disrupting my life and also I got sick this weekend so I didn't really draw at all. I think the current stage I'm at is really committing what I've learned this summer to memory, to kinda have this basic style to draw from. Because it's like, I have the knowledge but if I don't reinforce it I will forget lol. My next big focus is I want to improve on expressions and overall adding more character to my sketches. I feel like rn a lot of my drawings just look like dolls.

All this to say, I did not do my accounting homework I drew Amphibia fanart instead lol. Here’s a time skip Marcy doodle for reading. It’s actually a few weeks old but I really like it, I feel like the 3-dimensionality of her face is right.

Ok bye love u have a good day!!

[umichenginabroad]

Week 15: Power Outage, Elrow, & Malaga

¡Hola amigos!

This has definitely been my most interesting week in Madrid thus far… but not for great reason. 

Power Outage

If you haven’t already heard, there was a huge outage in all of Spain, Portugal, and parts of France. I was at school studying for my exam when I got a text from CEA CAPA explaining the situation. Soon after, all school activities were cancelled, and my exam was rescheduled. 

Naturally I was pretty excited to go home early, but I quickly realized my phone was dying, the metro and trains were down, and I couldn’t call an uber. I luckily ran into my roommate who was also on campus and somehow downloaded the map home, beginning our treacherous journey. 

We needed to take four buses, but every stop had lines around the block since all other transportation was unavailable. We waited over an hour for one of them, and it was awful. One of our roommates ended up making the 3.5 hour journey on foot. Somehow we made it home after four hours (it usually takes 40 mins). 

We realized we should pick up nonperishable food since we didn’t know how long this was going to last, and the stores were WIPED. It felt like COVID times all over again. We rashon what we could and just hung out on our balcony for a while. Suddenly after like 10 hours the power turned back on, and people were cheering and honking all throughout the streets. We got the confirmation that our F Monday’s tickets were still valid for the night, and used it as a celebration. Crazy day to say the least. 

Elrow Town

Last May I saw a TikTok about a Madrid music festival called Elrow, and knew I wanted to attend while studying abroad. Glad to say I finally went! It was insane, with huge crowds, super cool visuals, and some really famous artists. The vibes were really fun and I really enjoyed it since it was my first EDM specific festival. 

The night was going great until my friend’s phone got stolen. Pickpockets are something you hear about a lot, but don’t believe until you see it happen. At one point I looked down and realized my bag was opened, but nothing was stolen. Needless to say, I’m gonna be a lot more careful going forward. 

Weekend in Malaga

This weekend was a long weekend for Spanish Labor Day. I originally wasn’t going anywhere because I’ve been so burnt out from travel, but only me and one other roommate were left and decided to go on a little trip to Malaga and a few surrounding cities. 

We started our journey going through Granada. There wasn’t much we cared to see, but the views were amazing and there was some sort of flamenco festival going on. 

We then moved onto Malaga and checked into our AirBnb, which had the most insane views and a beautiful sunset. 

For day 2 we did a day trip to Nerja, a town with gorgeous beaches and nature. We did a kayaking tour through a waterfall and some rock formations which were insane. It was super hard and scary though because the waves were huge which I didn’t expect. 

We ended the day with another sunset and some wine. Overall a fun and cute little weekend trip.

Now that I’m back, it’s officially finals season and I’m extremely stressed. I have two presentations this week and an exam a week for the rest of my time in Spain. I still have two more trips planned which may not be the smartest idea, but they’re already booked so Ibiza and Berlin here I come. It’s gonna be a struggle trying to balance fun and studying, but I hope I can make it work. I’m extremely anxious because my finals are all 40-60% of my grade and I’ve never been good with exams/finals, but positive happy thoughts. 

Hasta luego,

Nitya Chellury

Industrial and Operations Engineering

Universidad Carlos III de Madrid

Madrid, Spain

[etherealyoungk]

hello idk of you’re accepting requests lately but if you do can you make a comfort fic about jeonghan? I’ve been stressed with backlogs and also reviewing for my upcoming exams this week😞 I really appreciate it if you do :3 Thank you in advance <33

hello anon! so sorry for getting to this late. i hope you see this and it cheers you up a bit! hope you're doing well, take care <3

you were panicking and nervous. and because you had alot of backlogs and catching up to do, you were even more stressed. you were trying to catch up on your lectures and you before you know it, it's late and you're still in front of your laptop as you take notes.

your table was a mess of notebooks and sheets of paper, and printouts, pens, pencils, markers. you were really trying to study as much as possible even though it was starting to stress you out and it was taking a toll on your now.

you're trying to solve a practice question but the words are just a blur of letters, nothing processing in your head. it was late and you were tired but you weren't letting yourself rest or sleep until you managed to solve this problem. your eyes get blurry and tears roll down your cheeks.

you almost don't hear your apartment door open, signaling that jeonghan had come and you try your best to wipe away your tears but he's already peeking his head in your room.

"baby i got some snacks for you", he says, holding up the bag of goodies. you don't turn around, sniffling and that's enough for jeonghan to know. he set the bag down on the floor and walks up to you, turning your chair as he looks at you. his face falls upon seeing your tear stricken cheeks.

"y/n...", he says. he lifts you up from the chair and guides you to the bed before wiping your tears with his thumb. "stupid exams", you mumble. "how long have you been studying, did you take breaks?", he asks. you shake your head indicating a no and he gives you a small look of disapproval.

"baby, you'll stress and get burnt out then hm", he tells. you don't say anything and crash into his arms and he pulls you closer, hugging you. you sniffle and just bury your head in his chest. he rubs your back gently to soothe you.

"i think you've studied enough for today, no more looking at your textbooks or laptop", he tells. "but i-" you start only for him to give you a look. "let's continue tomorrow okay, rest, you need it", he tells with genuine concern. he'll feed you with snacks and food and make sure you were relaxing for the rest of the day and shower you with affection.

[ettawritesnstudies]

Thank You

If you’ll permit me a minute to be cliche: this photo would not have been possible without you. When I started university in August 2019, the sum of all my author-y potential measured up to:

No finished manuscripts

A pipe dream of ever publishing my work

A scatterbrained outline of The Laoche Chronicles

Forty-four phone notes full of half-witted ideas

A grand total of 3 followers on my brand-new tumblr account

At the time, I had no grand plans of marketing my work, though I knew it would be necessary if I ever wanted an audience. I chose a degree in chemical engineering because I knew my baby platform and half finished stories weren’t going to cut it as a career in their current state as an 18-year-old, and I needed to have a day job if I wanted to pursue my end dream of self publishing. I was just hoping to survive my first year of engineering school, pass my weed-out classes, and hopefully make some new friends. That fall semester passed with sporadic progress on my book, and halfhearted attempts at breaking into the writeblr community, until I decided to try my hand at Inktober and made my first few acquaintances: @siarven and @abalonetea, who have both featured on this blog since then. It was also at this point, sometime during a Calculus III lecture, that I invented my pen name:

All was going well, and I was pleased with my incremental progress until the world ended.

The less said about the pandemic, the better. Writeblr truly kept me sane through working full-time jobs and taking 18 credit hours during the semester. When I was truly close to dropping out of school, I kept going, knowing I had these online friends to cheer me up after brutal exams and long nights of studying. The tag games and community filled the dearth of interaction left by quarantine and an insane schedule. During my summer internship in 2020, I finally had the time to finish the first draft of Storge and the confidence in myself to start a website. Rereading my first post is a surreal experience, in part because I still see myself as a little kid as hiding under the blankets with a flashlight, notebook, and pen, thinking “I wanna write a book!”

I woke up the next day crying to the sheer volume of kind messages congratulating me on meeting this milestone. Instead of feeling burnt out after reaching such a lofty goal, this gave me all the more energy to keep working. Since then, I’ve been so blessed to grow this community and this website. It’s incredible to see how far I’ve come, now being able to claim:

A finished manuscript of Storge

A 3rd draft of Runaways after going through 2 rounds of Beta Readers

8 short stories and an audio drama

An active mailing list

Over 1000 followers on tumblr, but more importantly, a thriving community of writers who support each other’s releases through ARCs, leaving reviews, enthusiastic questions, and a welcoming space for new writers to share their craft.

140 posts on my website and regular readers who care about my ramblings ❤

Now I’m on my way to my new job – I’ll be doing research and development in my chosen field with a team I really like, and the freedom to listen to books while I’m in the lab. This next month will still be a hiatus for blog posts and new writing as I pack up my life for a cross-states move, but I’m beyond excited to enter change. My hope is that I can start saving for editing costs and devote more time to my craft thanks to a 9-5 schedule and NO!!! HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!! Really, I cannot say enough how thrilled I am to never have to take another exam ever again, thank GOD. With a bit of luck and no small amount of grace, I hope I can publish and share my stories with you sooner rather than later.

Thank you for all the support and camaraderie these past years. In a way, I owe this diploma to you as much as to my classmates and professors. The night before graduation, I said to my friends, “I’ve been waiting for tomorrow for eight years.” Now I’m living in the future, and I can’t wait to write the next chapter.

[the-storming-sea]

For prompts: Todoroki using every single Toshi-Izuku interaction to add to his "Izuku is All Might's secret love child' conspiracy board

Tfw its been like two to three days but Many Things have happened in that time. Oops

Uh, anyways–

"Dude. What. The. Fuck."

Sero, Kirishima, and Yaoyorozu stared, wide-eyed and nearly slack-jawed from the futon they currently sat at. Across from them, hanging off the wall was a large pinboard, polaroid pictures and newspapers articles with certain words and pictures circled in with bright red marker tacked onto different places, red string connecting each and every single one of those pictures together.

And in front of that pinboard stood Todoroki Shouto, one of the most powerful students at UA, son of the current Number One Hero, wide-eyed and wild-haired and probably, by definition, out of his fucking mind.

"Listen. I'm not crazy–"

"Literally everything that's happening now is providing evidence to the contrary."

"–but All Might is Midoriya's father."

"That's." Kirishima blinked, once, his brain attempting to process what his classmate was saying. "What?"

"All Might. Is. Midoriya's. Father," Todoroki said, slower, like he was trying to explain quantum physics to a toddler. Or to anyone.

"Todoroki, All Might's never been in a public relationship before," Yaoyorozu replied, slower. Of all of Todoroki's eccentricities, this had to be the weirdest one yet. "Not to mention, all of All Might's speculated relationships have been with men."

"Then at least one of his partners is trans, or he's trans!"

"They don't even look the same!"

"Then Midoriya gets his looks from his mother! They have the same quirk! They practically act the same!" Todoroki threw his hands up in exasperation, frost creeping on the side of his fingers. "I'm still right!"

"Bro, you've met Midoriya's mother."

"Artificial insemination! Adoption! Again, secret love child!"

Todoroki slapped his hand on the board, slightly burning the edges of one of the newspaper clippings. "Look, see here," he said, pointing to the clipping. Kirishima tentatively walked up, squinting at the headline. "Read this."

"'Mystery Samaritans Found Cleaning Up Takoba Beach.'" Kirishima frowned. "So?"

Sero's eyes brightened. "Oh, I remember that! I used to go to the beach all the time with my family," he said. "What's that gotta do with anything?"

"Look at this photo!"

Kirishima turned his eyes towards the photo, frowning. His eyes widened in shock.

"Holy shit, is that Midoriya?"

"Huh, so it is," Yaoyorozu said. "And...is that...?"

"YES!" Todoroki exclaimed, once again slapping his hand on the pinboard and startling his friends. "All Might, as he currently looks now, and Midoriya found at Takoba beach a full year before the school year starts. That means they knew each other before the school year started!"

"You repeated yourself."

"I know I know I know but why," Todoroki pressed, taking a deep breath, "why would All Might, in his weakened state before Kamino, be seen with Midoriya unless...unless that was his secret son."

He clapped his hands together just as he was finishing his point, clearly pleased by his argument. The three stared back at him, slightly alarmed.

"Or...maybe he just met him recently and they decided to clean the beach together," Yaoyorozu said tentatively. "It could happen."

"Or, or they decided to train for Midoriya's UA Exam together by lifting appliances at the beach! Or working out around the beach a year before!" he protested. "My father used to make me train by lifting up heavy objects ten times my size and pushing my quirk before the UA exam too!"

Sero frowned. "Todo, I know good parenting is a foreign concept to you, but comparing your relationship with your dad to Midoriya and All Might maybe isn't the best of ideas."

"I'm pretty sure Iida used to train with his hero brother in a very normal way," Todoroki nearly fucking pouted. The guy was really fired up– metaphorically and a little bit literally, judging by his floor. "But, but anyway, what I'm trying to say was that All Might, trying to make sure Midoriya would be strong enough for the entrance exam, made him clean up the beach because he was helping to train his son!"

Kirishima stared at him. "Bro."

"I'm right! Not to mention, why would he be in his thinner state around Midoriya if he wasn't his son?!"

"Maybe he told him about the weakened form back then by accident?" Sero said. "Todoroki, seriously. You're looking too deep into this."

"I agree," Yaoyorozu said. She loved her friend, truly, but as good as it was for Todoroki to exhibit any other emotion besides confusion and rage, this couldn't be healthy for him.

Todoroki groaned. "Okay, okay, fine. Exhibit B!" He pointed to a picture of All Might and Midoriya walking into All Might's office. "They eat lunch together! Who does that with a teacher?!"

Kirishima hummed. "Okay, I'll give you that one," he said, looking back at the others. "You gotta admit, that is a little suspicious."

"You forget, Midoriya broke his bones a lot at the beginning of the year just by activating his quirk," Yaoyorozu said, calmly. "As the Heroics teacher, All Might would want to make sure they can find a way for Midoriya to improve his quirk use without breaking his bones, so it would make sense for All Might to meet up with Midoriya out of class."

"But why continuously?!" Todoroki pressed. "Even after Midoriya got a handle of his quirk?!"

Yaoyorozu frowned. "Well, Bakugo meets with them now. Is Bakugo All Might's son too?"

"Details, details," Todoroki said with a wave of his hand. "Bakugo's practically Midoirya's boyfriend anyways. All Might probably wants to vet him or something."

"Somehow I believe that less than your 'All Might is Midoriya's dad' theory."

"They're going to get together, just you wait," Todoroki said. "Anyways, back to business. It's not just at school too! Even now that we're in the dorms, lately All Might will eat with Midoriya, alone, just the two of them!"

He pointed to another picture of Midoriya and All Might eating meat buns on a bench, no one else in sight, lightly chatting. "See! It would make sense if All Might ate with any one of us, or if there was a bigger crowd, but it's just those two! That's a normal parenting thing, right?"

"Dude how did you even get that picture."

"Irrelevant."

Yaoyorozu ran her eyes over the full board again, wincing internally. As...off-putting as her friend's efforts were, he did have a point. All Might's actions towards Midoriya were unprecedented of a teacher, Aizawa would certainly never be caught dead with any of them. And sure, they simply could be good friends who met a little before the Takoba news article picture, friends could be of all ages after all, but with the way All Might treated Midoriya daily, it was getting more and more likely that Todoroki's theory was correct. Which had some very interesting implications and also a media shitstorm on its way if it was true.

"And," Todoroki continued, now rambling as fast as Midoriya was, "did you know that All Might visited the Midoriya's to talk about the dorm system alone?"

Kirishima's mouth dropped. "Seriously?"

Todoroki nodded, eyes wide and a small smile on his face. "Aizawa-sensei told us himself back when he asked my father if I could stay in the dorms! My father asked where All Might was and Aizawa-sensei told him that they split up right before the Midoriya's!"

Sero's eyes widened. "Okay, I will admit that that's weird."

"I know right?!" Todoroki exclaimed, out of breath and restlessly pacing the floor. "Not only that, but All Might was one of the first people Midoriya texted right after he got his hero license. And Midoriya ended up interning with a hero who All Might knows directly and worked with Nighteye during his work-study who's All Might's only sidekick! And then Midoriya was invited personally to I-Island by All Might! And–"

Knock knock.

The group froze.

"Young Todoroki? Can I speak with you?"

Fuck.

Todoroki tentatively walked over to his door, opening it just enough to find All Might standing behind it, a worried expression on his face. "Are you all alright? The kids downstairs reported a lot of yelling, and I think you may have frozen and burnt through your floor?"

Todoroki looked back at his floor, which now looked slightly more like the training room back home than it did his dorm room. "Right. I can pay for that."

"No need my boy, just make sure it doesn't happen again or I think Aizawa'll have all of our heads," All Might chuckled. He then frowned, slightly opening the door more. "What on Earth is that?"

His eyes were pointed directly behind Todoroki, to the pinboard the high schooler had been deliriously gesturing towards for the past few minutes. Kirishima, Sero, and Yaoyorozu stared at each other awkwardly, shuffling their feet.

"Um...well, y'see–"

"All Might, is Midoriya your illegitimate child?"

The air paused. Everyone turned their eyes to the teen.

All Might blinked. "I'm sorry...what?"

WHAT THE FUCK, TODOROKI?!

"Todoroki, bro, you can't just ask shit like that!" Kirishima exclaimed, who now, like the many people around him, was going through all the stages of grief. "That's not one of those things you can just ask people!"

Todoroki tilted his head. "I asked Midoriya."

"YOU ASKED MIDORIYA?!"

"I–"

The kids now directed their attention back to All Might, who had managed to shake himself out of his stupor and somehow made his way to the pinboard. "I'm not...young Todoroki, believe me when I say I'm 100% sure I'm not Midoriya's biological father," he said, rapidly glancing back and forth from the board to Todoroki. "As...creepily impressive as this is," he continued, gesturing to the entirety of the board, "I've never had a child, and besides, young Midoriya's biological father works overseas, in America."

He pointed to the slightly burnt newspaper clipping of Takoba beach, looking back at Todoroki. "Is this about the Takoba beach cleaning?"

Todoroki nodded.

"Huh." All Might turned to the clipping, a strange, soft, thoughtful look on his face. "I didn't know they did a report about it." He turned back to Todoroki. "May I keep this?"

Todoroki nodded again, even slower, and a delighted smile appeared on All Might's face. The four students watched with wide eyes as he took the newspaper clipping in one hand and the pin in between his other fingers, gently lifting the pin from where it had been embedded in the pin board, lifting the newspaper clipping from its place, and placing the pin back where he had found it. Seconds passed. All Might rubbing his thumb over the picture in the newspaper with a soft chuckle. He then gently folded it, each crease careful not to tear the newspaper apart, before placing it in the pocket of his tracksuit.

Then, as if he remembered that there were other people in the room, he turned to Todoroki. "Ah, Aizawa-kun said that you had redecorated your room yourself, yes?"

Todoroki nodded, still stunned. "Perfect! The bots will be up here in a few minutes or so to repair your floor, and then refurbish your room any way you see fit." All Might clapped his hands together, a bright smile on his face. "Just try not to do it as much, alright? And please stop stalking young Midoriya and I. I don't know how many times I can catch you in the act before telling him that one of his best friend's have been stalking us to obtain proof of our non-existant biological relationship."

"You saw me?"

"Young Todoroki, I've been the number one hero for three and a half decades."

"Oh." Todoroki frowned. "Sorry."

"Just don't let it happen again, please." All Might took a heavy sigh before finally addressing the others in the room. "Young Kirishima, Yaoyorozu, and Sero, I'll be seeing you in class tomorrow. Plus Ultra!"

"See you!"

"See you tomorrow All Might!"

All Might left the room, closing the door behind him, leaving Todoroki, Kirishima, Sero, and Yaoyorozu in the room, waiting for the repair bots to arrive, silent and bewildered with what had just transpired in the past ten minutes. The four of them couldn't move, only the sound of breathing being proof that any of them were even alive. After what felt like several, long, painstaking seconds, Todoroki turned to his friends.

"Y'know, All Might worked in America for a while."

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, TODOROKI."

[nordic-language-love]

Language Learning Log 2023 Week 22 (29/05 - 04/06)

I’m pretty exhausted today. This week I worked Monday - Saturday (after a one-day weekend) and started trying to build good exercising/eating habits while also getting back into reading and serious JLPT study. No wonder I’m feeling a little burnt out right now 😅 I desperately need to study for the JLPT because I have less than a month until the exam :| And I’m gonna fail at this rate. I still have so much grammar I haven’t even touched, there’s a lot of vocab I’ve not even copied over into my Anki decks (never mind studied/memorised), my reading skills are horrendous and my listening is still more vibes-based than anything.

I did finally get back into reading in Norwegian... a bit. Mostly because I couldn’t bear the thought of studying Japanese on the train yet again 😅 I just needed a change of pace. Can y’all tell I regret signing up for the JLPT? Because I do. I can’t wait for it to be done. It’s been useful for learning new vocabulary but my ability to actually speak Japanese hasn’t really improved at all. If anything, I’ve got worse at speaking, because instead of trying to reinforce the grammar I’ve learned and use it in conversation, I’m just piling on new grammar doing my best to be able to recognise it. Probably should’ve signed up for N5. Oh well, you live and learn.

Any actual progress to report on? Not really. I think I need to spend my days off reviewing the grammar/vocab notes I have stuck to my wardrobe door, replace the ones I don’t need/use with ones that will be beneficial. I also need to spend my days off sleeping. I’m so fucking tired, y’all. I feel like I could sleep for a week and not be caught up.

[greenstudies]

March favourites

Season 4

I love making these and yet I keep forgeting to write them somehow. Just pretend April has just begun and this is on time.

Self care:

Yoga - I actually like yoga now? Who would have thought I’m not too cool for yoga after all

Sitting in the sun - I already got burnt but hey... everything comes at a price

Blogs and channels:

@a-students-lifebuoy - A studyblr I’ve discovered recently and I’m enjoying very much

Markiplier - IN SPACE!

UnJaded Jade - Jade’s content is somewhere between studytube and mental health youtube and I’ve been enjoying her content a lot lately

Crushes of the month:

Gillian Anderson - I ran out of excuses on why she’s always listed. She just is. And always will be

Charlie Cox - Look! New person! Can you believe that. I’ve grown as a simp person this month

Shows:

Adventure Time - I love coming back to it any time I’m having a bad day (and not gonna lie... I’ve been watching a lot lately)

Friends - Pretty much an alternative to Adventure Time

Daredevil - I recently discovered it and I’M IN LOVE. I want to hug Matt Murdock and kick his ass for every bad decision he makes at the same time but either way I’m quite passionate about it

Music and podcasts:

Boyfriend Dove Cameron - I’ve been listening to this song so much I feel like I’m obligated to mention it

Distractible - At some point I realised I’m many episodes behind so I’m pretty much binging it now

Books:

Priory of the Orange Tree Samantha Shannon - I finally got back into reading and I’m in the middle of this AMAZING story. I have a hard time putting it down (unfortunately I’ll have to for a bit now that exam time is coming). I’ll update you when I finish it

Games:

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - To be honest it took me a bit to get really into it because I always need to get used to a game before I can properly relax while playing but now I’m officially obsessed. I reward myself with a moment of playing almost every day after studying

What did you enjoy this month?

[noradoesrevision]

Day 5/70: diaries of a burnt out student

Hey my dudes, total was an alright day. I had a statistics mock and a physics mock which was kind of hard, but in a weird way, nice because I don’t need to feel guilty about not studying - it’s pretty unavoidable when you are sat in a silent hall for 5 hours.

Despite that, the wondering how the tests went (and expecting that they haven’t gone that well) is still a bit anxiety-inducing. It’s so weird because I have over a month until exams start, but since that’s not that long, relative to the rest of my school sixth form years, it feels like I’m never doing enough (which, often I’m actually not) and that anything I do do is making very little difference. Not really sure how to avoid those feeling, maybe I need to make a proper revision plan at some point, it’s just that the thought of doing that is quite overwhelming since you it’s difficult to understand what stuff you need to revise before you understand the stuff (if that makes any sense).

Anyway, I came home, had some snacks and a music lesson which was pretty fun, and then ate dinner. Afterwards I had a physics lesson where I went through mechanics, although, if anything, mechanics is the one thing I probably don’t need to revise. For the rest of the evening I just chilled and watched YouTube which I’ve not done in a little while - I’ve been taking a break from social media these past couple of weeks but it’s slowly creeping its way back in and I’m not sure whether I should stop it.

Im going to leave you with some lovely diagrams of micrometers, so you can get a taste of my day, cramming for physics paper 3. What a stunning aesthetic study blog this is!

[realcube]

comfort with the haikyuu!! boys hcs 💝

characters: kenma, bokuto, ushijima, tsukishima, akaashi

thanks to anon for the request (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

ALL AGED UP! (no mature themes though) (i just like the post-timeskip domestic dynamics)

tw// hurt! reader, swearing, mentions of death, fluff, angst if you squint

Kenma Kuzome

bb has cat senses so he can tell when you’re sad

he can also tell bc you do the exact same thing he does when he’s sad, which is cuddle underneath blankets in bed, play animal crossing and blare lo-fi music to conceal your faint sobs

so when he walks into your shared room and notices you wrapped up in blankets on the bed, he does his best to suppress a snicker whicH HE FEELS SO BAD FOR HAVING IN THE FIRST PLACE

like he knows you’re sad but a part of his mind is just like ‘heh, (y/n) burrito.’ like you just look sO FKN CUTE!!

anyway, the first thing he always does when you’re down is approach you on the bed, sneak under the blankets and join to you to become a (y/n) & kenma burrito 

also, he might turn the speaker off depending on how loud the music is lol but if it’s at an okay volume then he’ll just leave it on and vibe with you for a bit as he desperately wracks his brain, trying to come up with something reassuring to say 

you usually comes up with the something basic like, ‘what’s wrong?’ but i mean, you don’t really mind - at least he’s making an effort and you know it must be difficult for him to think of things to say lol

depending on how sad you are, you might just tell him straight-up what happened or you might text him bc you don’t think you’ll be able to choke out an answer without bursting into tears again

then he’ll ask you if you want to be alone and act accordingly 

assuming that you say ‘no’ bc you want his presence, he’ll just recollect on the last time you comforted him while he was down and mimic it tbh

..you always comfort him so well 🥺 and whenever you console him, he always feels so much better so he just thought that maybe if he imitates you, then it’ll work just as well

so he started off by resting his head on your shoulder and whispering kind things in your ear just like you did to him, ‘you know i love you, right?’ , ‘i hope you feel better soon’, ‘do you want me to bring you some food?’

he’ll seriously do everything in his power to make sure that you’re as comfortable as possible 

and he’ll stay as a (y/n) & kenma burrito until you feel better or until the sun rises  ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰)

Kōtarō Bokuto

i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again - he’s such an empath and so overdramatic

so when he comes home from work and you don’t run up to the door to give him hugs & kisses- he’s about to burst into tears himself

so he sulks up to your room now IMAGINE HOW SHOCKED HE IS WHEN HE WALKS IN TO SEE YOU CRYING UNDER THE BLANKETS

emo-mode engaged :(

his hair deflates as he pounces on you and wails, ‘(Y/N)! WHY ARE YOU CRYING?! ARE YOU OKAY?! WHO HURT YOU?!’ (ಥ _ ಥ)

and the bitch dives on you while you are under the blanket, essentially scaring and suffocating you 

‘bokuto, get off me!’ you shrieked, wriggling out of his grip and out from under the blanket

 when he notices you had escaped the blanket with tear-stained cheeks, he felt even worse 

he threw himself into your arms, howling, ‘(Y/N)!! I AM SO SORRY!’

at this point all the blood had rushed to your head and you had kinda forgotten that you were sad for a moment or two

‘bo! you should know you’re own strength by now.’ you muttered, rubbing the underneaths off your puffy eyes

‘I KNOW!’ he wailed once more, burying his face into the crook of your neck

you sighed while rubbing his back, unable to supress a slight giggle, ‘bokuto..’ 

there was ages of silence between the two of you before he pulled away to look you in the eyes and asked, ‘(y/n), why were you crying before i got here?’

you’d explain the issue to him and he’d do everything in his power to solve it because the way he sees it, why should he try console you when he can just fix the variable that’s making you sad in the first place?

like, if you were just fired from your job, he’ll go full karen and he will call corporate to demand for your job back if you don’t stop him

or if your loved one died, he’ll become a fkn medium or study resurrection

or if you’re just stressed from exams/tests, he’ll just be like ‘why do you need to go to uni anyway?’

‘so i can get a qualification.’

‘why do you need that?’

‘so i can apply for a job.’

‘why do you need a job?’

‘so i can make money, so i don’t starve.’

‘you can have my money!’

you couldn’t help but chuckle at how much life-experience bokuto had, yet he will still so naïve; honestly, you couldn’t even tell if he was joking or not. ‘what if we break up?-”

“DON’T SAY THAT!” he gasped, instinctively tightening his grip on you

Wakatoshi Ushijima

both you and ushijima’s pride did not allow y’all to cry in front of one another 

if you ever had to cry, you’d just run to the bathroom, lock the door, turn on the tap to drown out the sound of your sobs and just let it all out

and if he ever had to cry, he’d just do it in the shower

but like- you both knew when the other one had been crying because of their puffy, damp eyes but you both mutually agreed to not mention it

i mean, up until now y’all had both been able to flourish in the relationship while dealing with emotions on your own so why bother changing?

and if anything, you both felt more comfortable crying to yourselves

 that was, until today

you had cracked under the pressure of your job - you were simply sitting at your desk in the study room, doing some work then it all just came crashing down

ushijima had just stepped out of the shower in his towel and was currently wandering around the house in search of you, to inform you that he ran out of shampoo so it would be greatly appreciated if you were to add it to the shopping list 

but when he entered the study to see you sitting there by your computer, bawling you eyes out..he froze

like he had to do a whole double-take bc he wasn’t sure if he was seeing this correctly

your face was buried in your hands so you didn’t notice him at first but then you heard him awkwardly clear his throat from the doorway and your neck immediately jerked to look at him

it was quite embarrassing for the both of you, ngl

like he was standing there half-naked, staring into your red eyes in hopes that what he saw was just a hallucination

after what felt like hours of deafening silence, ushijima broke it by muttering under his breath, ‘uh, is everything okay?’

‘everything is fine, toshi.’ you replied, forcing a bright smile onto your face as you went back to typing, ‘did you come down here to tell me somethi--’

‘i can tell that there is something wrong.’ he stated, walking towards you while using one had to hold his towel in place and draping the other over your shoulders to pull you into his chest. ‘do you want to tell me?’

you let out a long sigh, resting your cheek against his chest while still staring at the many tabs you had open on your desktop 

but ushijima quickly fixed that by taking your chin in-between his thumb and index finger, then turning your face to look up at him, 

‘work?’ he hummed his assumption

‘yeah.’ you mumbled, quite surprised at how understanding he was being

but then again, ushijima obviously knows what it feels like to be overworked and burnt out too, so he was able to provide a lot of empathy in that sense

Kei Tsukishima

ok a bit of tsukki slander but i feel like tsukishima would make it worse WEILUBRGBE

wait no well, he doesn’t make it worse but he doesn’t make it better either

like he’ll walk into the living room and see you curled up under a blanket on the couch, lightly sobbing from underneath- and he honestly doesn’t know how to act

this is the first time he’s seen you cry bc usually y’all keep your emotions to yourselves - you’re both v independent like that （￣︶￣)

anyway, mans thinks he can just tease the sadness out of you 🙄

‘awh, is my little couch goblin feeling sad?’ he said shakily, clearly intimidated by your figure lying on the couch, and you could tell he was nervous per his use of the nickname ‘couch goblin’

‘‘TSUKISHIMA, FUCK OFF!’ you barked, hastily wiping away your tears and clinging to blanket to prevent him from pulling it away, as the last thing you wanted him to see was your weary figure just so he could tease you about it 

‘bitch, i live here.’ he hissed, rubbing the back of his neck - feeling rather conflicted

on one hand, you seemed serious when you asked him to leave; plus, the last thing he wanted to do was make you feel uncomfortable by staying when you’re already sad

but on the other hand, he genuinely wanted to help

he’d feel bad if he were to just leave his s/o in tears when he could’ve done something to make you feel better 

‘do you really want me to go?’ he asked and for a change, not a hint of mockery or sarcasm was found in his voice

there were several moments of silence until you mumbled from under your blanket, ‘no.’ then proceeded to lift up your arm to allow him to crawl under the blanket and join you

he did so, pulling you against his chest so you could sob lightly against his cotton shirt while being engulfed by warm darkness

‘what could’ve possibly went wrong to make the evilest blanket demon cry?’

‘evilest blanket demon’ - that was definitely a new one, and you’d be lying if you said a small snicker didn’t escape your mouth at how monotonously he was able to deliver such a unique nickname

and after years of being in a relationship with tsukki, you’ve learned to find comfort in these nicknames considering they were a big part of how he expressed love 

in his vocabulary, ‘you’re so annoying.’ is equal to ‘i love you’

so him calling you an ‘evil blanket demon’ was, in his eyes, the highest and most sincere form of flattery

you eventually tell him what happened that made you sad and he just listens 

feel free to ramble on about anything/everything that’s worried you for the last few months bc he’s all ears 

he figured that other than make you dinner and hug you, that was the best thing he could do to help bc he was far from a romantic who’s good with words 

if he tries to console you verbally it would probably come out like ‘uh, don’t cry - i understand what you’re going through, i think, but like- cry if you want. this must be tough for you, to be honest.’

so he just listens to what you have to say and occasionally inputs a lil’ ‘mhm’ or ‘yeah’

he’s probably the most patient with you so you could stay sad on the couch for the next few weeks, as long as you’re eating the meals he delivers to you and you’re staying healthy, he’ll just let you mope until you feel better tbh

Keiji Akaashi

boyfie material right here

i’m hardly an akaashi simp but he’s probably the best at comforting you while you’re sad tbh

because he’s literally been dealing with bokuto and his emo-mode for god-knows how long so he’s very good with reassuring people😌

also, i just know that this man can detect emotions so well- evEN THROUGH TEXT ISTG

he’d text you the usual ‘goodnight ❤’

and you’ll quickly wipe away your tears that were blurring your vision to reply ‘goodnight 💕’ 

then he’ll deadass text back like ‘i’m coming over. what’s wrong?’

HE JUST KNOWS!! don’t question it bc he doesn’t even have a logical answer lol

anyway, he’ll arrive and immediately begin with the reassurance before you even tell him what’s wrong 

‘you’re coping so well, (y/n).’

‘i’m so proud and i love you so much.’

‘is there anything i can do to make you feel better?’

‘would you like a hug?’

‘you’re beautiful, (y/n). i hope you know that.’

‘do you want me to get you ice-cream?’

a king- 👑

also, you weren’t embarrassed to cry in front of him either bc you had seen him cry before 

plus, y’all both established at the very beginning of the relationship that you’d both try be as honest and open with your emotions as possible

so now, you were both sitting beside each other on your bed while sharing a banana split that akaashi made (you put the sprinkles on though so you basically gave it flavour ✨)

akaashi is definitely the therapist friend to so he gives great advice 

but if you don’t want his advice and you’d prefer him to just listen, then he can do that too 

honestly, he’d do basically anything to make you feel better 🥺

[pinkchanelbag]

congrats on the milestone, nia!! could i please get the lovers with levi ackerman? i’ve been really stressed lately and i think levi would be such a caring bf during finals week aaaaa <3 thank you so much!

THE LOVERS — LEVI + FINALS WEEK.

— levi is THEE person to have at your side during finals week.

— he’s got a really good balane between making sure you actually study so you can do well (’cause his s/o is not no dummy) and making sure you take care of yourself. 

— it’s just a one track mind thing for him—your success, that is. that comes in the form of both academic performance AND mental + physical wellbeing. 

— like “what’s the point of doing well on the exams if you’re having a panic attack twice a day for a week.” but also “what’s the point of over relaxing until you do badly and then get stressed again.”

— helps you set up a study schedule and makes sure you stick to it (with only some interference or involvement—he doesn’t wanna baby you). 

— during those seven days he manages to go through like an entire box of tea because he’s always and i mean ALWAYS making you some. the cup is never NOT at your side and never empty for longer than twenty minutes. don’t like tea? he’ll give you a judgey side-eye and make you your preferred drink instead (water’s out of the question, by the way. there’s a full bottle being shoved into your hands constantly).

— peaking into the room silently every now and then to look at you and gauge your mental state/concentration level. like i said, he has no plans to baby you, but he’s discrete in looking out for you. will pull you away for one episode of a comfort show or something if you look like you need the break, or just take you on a quick walk outside. 

— all of your exams are in his calendar. 

— coming into the room with a simple statement of “dinner” and holding the door open for you as you practically crawl out of the chair and trudge outside. not opposed to feeding you himself if you’re that burnt out. 

— you’re quick to let him know if you’ve made some kind of accomplishment in your studies like “levi, i finished three units today!” or “oh my god, i finally understand.” when this happens, he doesn’t hesitate to give you reward cheek squishes and head pats and neck kisses. 

— he’s taking care of the cleaning for the week with no complaints. even reminds you of your own hygiene if need be. he knows how stress can tunnel vision a person sometimes. 

— exam season sucks but the one thing it’s good for are the nightly soft levi cuddles. without fail, every night of the god awful few weeks, he’s unusually touchy and sweet, stroking your hair and rubbing gently at your tired eyes or your temples/shoulders/neck. murmuring about how you’re doing so well, how he’s proud and you’re gonna do great on the exams. 

— anything you need him to do, he’ll do it. 

note: riz!! thank u so much for the request angel. i hope your exams go well and that this helps. you’re gonna do great <3

NIA’S 999 EVENT

[undesired-attention]

I had been thinking for a while about jumping back on here for an update- both for those who used to follow if they’re still on here and also to consolidate my own thoughts of the past 8 months, and today feels like the day. I believe I left off with my mom having surgery, that ended up going well and all is mostly good- some complications that can be fixed with a colonoscopy or two and another surgery planned for the future, but nothing emergent and things have been fine with her for the most part. That feels like so long ago reflecting back, I cannot believe it’s only been 8 months.. then the bf went to finish up his last term of college, he absolutely killed it banging the last of his degree out and graduated in December. Meanwhile, I began taking the charge role at my job- meaning I was the head nurse on the floor, didn’t take patients (usually), directed the flow of care and dealt with the major problems.. and I found that I really enjoyed it. I was feeling so burnt out from covid, mentally I dreaded going into work every day to take care of non compliant covid patients who didn’t believe they even had the virus, and watched them turn into a mess when they got sicker and sicker to the point of needing to go on a vent.. it was horrific and traumatizing. And that was my work life the past two years. I tried to find other fulfilling things, I studied for and passed the CMSRN (certified medical surgical RN) exam in December, and thought a lot about where I wanted my career to go. I ended up applying for a nurse supervisor position on the cardiac floor in my hospital, and after a month of interviewing with different people and then a month of waiting for my incompetent manager to get her shit together, I accepted the job and start next week.

Last night was my last night working on my med surg/covid/basically nursing home because patients stay for 6 months+ floor that’s run itself into the ground and I no longer want to be a part of. It was a EXTREMELY difficult decision, and I still have that urge to stay in my comfort. I love my coworkers. I’ve known a lot of them for three years and learned how to be a nurse with them. They (for the most part) are the best group of people I’ve ever worked with. Now saying that- this was only my first full time job in a steady position. So I have really high hopes I find that change is okay and good, and I’ll love it up there just as much as I do on my unit. My manager fired my mom a week before her surgery in august and she struggled really hard to find a job- she’s working in a clinic now making more money than before and likes it for the most part. I’ve brought up countless issues to my manager and current nurse supervisors, and none of them care about anything and are so negative and mean. I’ve spoken to my new manager more times over the past 3 months during this hiring process than my old manager in 3 years, and she has been so kind and helpful through everything. So- I’m nervous, but so excited. Bf was job hunting at the same time, and while I was hopeful he could find something local/remote, the options are just nonexistent or for way too little pay. He accepted a position at a company in pittsburgh with a offer too good to even consider turning down, and he starts (remote until moves out there) next week. He signed a lease on a house and is working his way to getting out there. And of course with that, I had to think a lot about what I wanted to do. We talked about it, a lot, and the plan is for him to go out there and me stay for ~a year (likely less) in my new job, get official job title nurse supervisor experience, and then come out to pittsburgh with him and find a nursing supervisor job somewhere out there. I’m not a fan of UPMC’s tactics one bit, but they pay their supervisors comparatively to what I will be making here, so I won’t be taking a $10 pay cut like I would as a staff RN, if I became part of the hospital system that monopolizes Pittsburgh. I am EXTREMELY excited for him and I know he’s excited too, pretty close to a dream job for him.

Meanwhile- my brother is finishing up his last semester at Carnegie Mellon in pittsburgh, and will be doing a PhD fellowship in math for a big college close to Pittsburgh, but also closer to home. It’ll be the closest he’s been to home since he was 15 and moved to New Hampshire for boarding school. I’m also obviously very excited for him as well. I had a routine doctors appt a couple weeks ago, and I decided to finally open up and mention that I’m having an extremely hard time focusing and concentrating. I’ve always had this issue, but it was really starting to effect my work being now that I’m sitting down and having to do paperwork and it’s not constantly running to tend to my patients. She made me an appt for next week to get tested for AD(H)D. I still don’t know how I feel about it, I feel kind of ashamed but that was the way I was raised, mental health disorders do not exist and you’re fine, it’s all in your head. I did some research into ADHD in women, and a lot aren’t diagnosed until their 20s-30s. So either way, I’ll see what they say. It’s either that or anxiety but I am starting to believe it’s more than anxiety the more I really reflect on how I feel and act.. but overall, the past 8 months have been great for myself and everyone close to me. I’m feeling emotional from last night being my last night on my home unit for the past 3 years, and a little delirious because I worked 3 nights in a row lol, but I just have been wanting to type all this out for a while and send it into the void of what was a major part of my life for multiple years. If anyone takes the time to read this, thank you for checking in. Talk to you again maybe in the future. :)

Also, formatting on this app is HORRIFIC, I’m sorry

[tiredbiostudent]

i love seeing your posts it's very motivating. if you dont mind me asking, do you have any advice for studying (or tricks you use for urself) ((it's v vague sorry))!!!

hi, thank you! honestly I am absolutely awful at studying but I will try to provide some helpful tips:

1. watching university vloggers always makes me feel more motivated to do work! my favourites atm are nayna florence, moya mawhinney, paigeyy (her old cambridge vlogs bc I think she’s graduated now), linh truong, and may gao 2. I have a really hard time getting started so sometimes you just need to be like alright I can at LEAST open up this pdf or assignment. and I can at LEAST create a new word document and write out what I have to do. and occasionally this tricks your brain into actually starting ;) 3. when you plan a study schedule, give yourself at least one free day where you have nothing planned bc at least for me I will absolutely need it. don’t cram your days full of unrealistic things to do! 4. take advantage of your productive moods, but also don’t be too hard on yourself when you’re feeling super tired or burnt out or unproductive. you can also try and flip your productivity switch on (tho this is hit or miss) by doing less taxing stuff like going on a walk, making your bed, watering your plants- any task that makes you feel like you’re accomplishing something 5. have a hobby and life outside of school. easier said than done, but this will really help alleviate the stress and anxiety you feel when something goes wrong academically and that’s the only “important” thing you feel like you have in life. take time for yourself to learn new things, relax, spend time with friends, be in nature, exercise. all about balance baby! 6. study based on what your exam will test you on. if it’s short answer, study the material but also practice writing out example answers. if it’s matching labels to diagrams, practice that! go beyond just writing out your notes, try and fit your studying method to the format of your test. it helps s o much. 7. similarly, ALWAYS DO THE REVIEW QUESTIONS. if you have no time to do anything else, DO THESE!!! I’ve been burned so many times because I feel obligated to retype out all my notes (bc I have to have everything altogether) and run out of time to do the practice questions my prof gives, and those are always the most relevant to what you’ll be tested on. hell, do these before anything else. cannot stress this enough lol!!!! 8. don’t do the readings unless you NEED to or it helps you learn. otherwise it’s a waste of time (and money for a textbook!) imo 9. switch up where you study. unfortunately this isn’t really feasible right now but I find I’m most productive at the library- at your university (if you go) try to find your favourite study spots, and have a few you can cycle through! for me it’s the lifesci commons, law library and the comp sci building because they’re chill, productive atmospheres (as opposed to the SUB or the health sci building, which are too loud and too intense respectively) 10. keep your phone out of sight lol. and get one of those browser locks like forest to dissuade you from getting distracted. for me it’s more of a split second compulsion to check and once there’s a barrier in my way I’m like oh. nvm. 11. my personal note-taking method is taking written notes in lecture of anything important that’s not on the slides. usually your prof will emphasize the important of a topic too! but if they don’t, pay attention to what they’re spending a lot of time going over. after class I’ll add my written notes to the lecture to supplement it and better explain everything we covered. (for virtual lectures, I basically have the slides open in one half of my screen and the lecture in the other and type notes onto the slides as it plays) 12. practice explaining concepts to yourself out loud- this is a great way to see if you’ve actually understood the material! if you can do this once solidly, you’re good to go and it’ll stick in your brain for a while. 13. also try and make connections between topics you’ve covered because often this is what profs like to ask about on exams (cough ~synthesis~). for instance, recognizing that keratin composes tissues in birds, mammals, reptiles, etc. 14. if you’ve been working hard or having a stressful time buy yourself a nice warm drink because you deserve it! :) 15. this one’s a little weird but if you need to remember something like what the foundational traits of vertebrates are, focus on memorizing how many you need to know! if I know there’s 6 of something I need to remember, it makes recalling them SO much easier 16. if you’ve been sitting down studying for a while take a break to just jump tf around your room. you could also go on a walk I guess but jumping is more fun. 17. it’s good to get a reminder of why you’re in school and what makes you passionate about what you’re studying to drive you to keep going. for me I love to watch nature documentaries or go on hikes or look through field guidebooks or read really neat academic papers :) 18. for the love of god please get enough sleep.

I also have a whole tag of #study tips that is 1000% more helpful than what I can provide so definitely take a look through there! good luck, you got this :) ps sorry this got so long winded lol I hope it helps!

[ginemrys]

a change of heart

This is something very different to what we usually write, a bold departure from Jily! But we were inspired by a tiktok that showed Peter knocking on Marlene's door to Meant To Be Yours from the show Heathers and knew we had to write it!!!

Marly,

Lily and I are going a little stir crazy now. I try not to let her see how fed up with being stuck inside I am, but as you know well enough, she’s an expert at reading people.

I wish you could know where we are, that you could come and visit. We keep showing Harry photos of all of you, making sure he knows you all once this damned war is over. I think you’re going to be Marly for the rest of your life now, he’s quite taken with babbling some form of it over and over whenever you’re mentioned.

It’s unreal to think that he’s going to be a year old soon, where did that time go? Sometimes I feel like we are all still at school, taking our exams and getting up to mischief. I miss mischief almost as much as I miss the boys. We see Sirius of course, but no one has heard from Remus in a while, not since he went on his last mission for Dumbledore. I’m worried about Peter, he seems to be struggling worst of all, he barely replies to my letters now. I want him to be alright, he’s one of my closest friends and I hate the idea that he’s pulling away from us when we need him the most.

We miss you lots, miss you all. Please pass our love onto Dorcas and the others, you understand that we can’t write to everyone, just in case.

Stay safe, stay brilliant.

James.

Marlene stood in her childhood bedroom holding the letter in her hands. She smiled down at it, imagining baby Harry saying her name. She put the letter down on her bedside table before sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Marlene, dinner is ready!” Her mother called from downstairs.

“I’ll be down in a minute.” She called back, her head in her hands.

“Marly?” A quiet voice spoke from her doorway. Marlene’s younger brother, Marcus, stood there. He was home for the summer, having just finished his sixth year at Hogwarts. He was the only person who could ever comfort Marlene when she cried, knowing just what to do. So he stepped into her bedroom uninvited, and sat down beside her, one arm around her shoulders.

“Hey, you.” She said, with a small sigh. “Sorry… It’s been a tough few weeks.” She said, resting her head against his as they sat together.

“I know.” Marcus replied, his hold on her tightening slightly. “And I’m not going to ask, because I know you can’t, unlike Mum and Dad. Sorry they keep pushing you to tell us what you’ve been doing.”

“It’s fine, it was all just better when I saw more of my friends… I miss them. Lily and James I barely get to hear from, even Dore is too busy for me…” She sighed. “Right, can’t let our food get cold. Race you?” She said with a small smirk, moving back from him.

“It’ll get better, I’m sure.” Marcus said softly as she moved away, getting to his feet. A grin spread across his face as she spoke, his eyebrow raising. “You know I’ll win!” He took off running, making sure to shut her door behind him to slow her down.

But then a bang sounded from downstairs, Marlene’s mother screamed.

“Arsehole!” Marlene shouted after him, throwing the door open. She froze hearing her mother’s shout, but she joined her brother by stumbling into the kitchen. Marlene’s mother lay on the ground, her face pressed against the cracked tile.

“Mum!” Marcus called out, rushing towards his mother, falling to his knees to grab her. A cold laugh sounded and another green light filled the room. Marlene stood with wide eyes as she stared at the scene before her as Marcus fell limply on the tile next to her.

“Marlene, run! Go!” Her father shouted, his face wet with tears as he burst into the kitchen from his study, brandishing his wand. “You’re important in this war, go now!”

Marlene looked at her father for a moment before running towards the door, more figures moved into the kitchen and she could hear her father grunting as he shot spells that burnt hot behind her. She pulled the door open, but was stopped by a figure standing on the path. “P-Pete?”

“Stay there!” Peter said, his voice surprisingly firm. But his wand betrayed him, his hand shaking as he pointed it at her chest. “Don’t try to run, Marlene!”

Marlene felt sick, the shaking wand arm showed the dark mark embedded into his skin. She stared at him before turning on her heel and sprinting up the stairs. She ran at full pelt into her room, slamming the door closed and locking it behind her before resting back against it. She looked around even though she knew she was trapped. “Fuck.” She muttered, looking around for her wand. She could almost hear Alastor condemning her for putting it down.

Peter sighed as Marlene ran. He felt sick, unable to stop shaking. But this was a test, he had to do this. His mark was fresh, still itchy and green. He needed to kill, to kill by order of his new master in order to turn it black. And he was tasked with the murder of Marlene McKinnon. So he pulled the door open, hearing the thud of Mr McKinnon as his body hit the floor beside his wife and son. The stairs creaked as Peter climbed them, he could hear the chuckles of his fellow Death Eaters, none of them who knew that he was the spy believed that he could do it.

Marlene saw her wand had rolled onto the floor so scrambled forward on her hands and knees to grab it. “Come on.” She said to herself, trying to conjure a patronus to send for help. She had placed anti-apparition wards over her house a few weeks prior, to protect them. She’d thought people couldn’t get in, but she clearly had been wrong. A few wisps appeared out of her wand but she couldn't possibly think of a strong enough memory to conjure a corporal form. Not while her heart ached and her head spun.

He knew where he was going, he’d been here before. He’d lingered in the background as everyone had fun, drinking and partying after sixth year when Marlene’s parents had been out for the night. He’d sat alone, curled up on an armchair watching Lily begin to fall in love with James as they spoke quietly with their backs against the sofa. He knew where Marlene’s room was.

He knocked gently on the closed door. “Marly? It’s going to be alright, Marly. Just open the door, please.” He called through it, his voice soft. He could hear her ragged, panicked breathing behind the wood.

“It was you.” Marlene called back, her back hard against the door. “You’re the traitor. You… You joined their side. Pete, why?”

“Just open the door.” Peter replied, his voice a little harsher now. “I don’t owe you an explanation, I don’t owe any of you anything. Now open the door, Marly.”

“You could have come to us, any of us. We could have helped if you were struggling. Pete, Pete please.” She said, angrily brushing the tears from her face.

“No, I couldn’t!” He spat. He could have killed her by now, could have unlocked the door with a simple alohomora and he’d be done with it. But she knew now, she knew. Finally he could tell someone about how he felt, about how they all had made him feel over the years. “I couldn’t talk to any of you. None of you care, none of you remember I’m even there half the time. Remus used to give a slight shit, but then Dumbledore sent him away. And James only cares about his precious Lily, he doesn’t have the time for any of us anymore.” The words spilled out of him, his voice rough as he shouted through the door. “You’re on the losing side, Marly, you can’t win! So why bother trying?”

“That’s not true!” She exclaimed. “It’s not! We all care about each other so much, but it’s so hard, this war is so hard and it is worth trying, we want a future, a future with all of us.” She sobbed, her hand covering her mouth. “We all care about you. Please, Peter, we can fix this together. Me and you. I can save you, this isn’t the end. It can’t be the end.” She whimpered.

“It's too late. People didn’t care about me before the war, they won’t now. There’s no way.” He knew the door was locked, but still he reached down to turn the doorknob, knowing it would scare her. Some sick part of him was taking pleasure from hearing her sobbing. “Let me in.”

“We’ve always cared about you. What about Sirius and James? Remus? You’re one of the marauders. I’ve never seen a friendship as close as yours…” She said, standing up from the door and stepping back towards the bed, her wand raised.

“I’ve never been one of them, not really. I was just a means to an end.” Peter said as he pointed his wand at the lock, watching it glow slightly as he unlocked it. “It’s always been them, then me. An afterthought.”

“That’s not true, they love you. Let me help you, I can protect you.” She said, pointing her wand at the door. Her legs hit the edge of the bed, knocking the bedside table and the letter she had been reading landed on the ground.

“Not anymore.” Peter whispered. He cast a shield charm as he opened the door, knowing that she would try to attack him the second he appeared in her view. And of course he was right, because there she was, her wand pointed right at him. “See, you lied.”

“You’re trying to kill me, Peter. What do you expect?” She said, sending a stunning spell even though it bounced off his shield charm.

“I have to.” Peter said. “Expelliarmus!” Her wand soared out of her hand. Peter was never very good at catching, so he let it clatter to the floor in front of him. “I have to, Marly. You know that.” But still his hand shook.

Marlene winced as she watched the wand fall to the ground. “You don’t. You don’t have to do this, Pete. Please,” she looked him in the face, “let me help you, please don’t do this. Don’t kill me. I’m begging you.”

“You can’t help me. No one can help me. Not until the war is over.” Peter said, his voice sounding like he was trying to convince himself of the fact, to make himself believe that what he was doing was right. “It’ll be fine, Marly. It won’t hurt.”

“They’ll know it was you. They’ll find out. They won't forgive you if you do this.” As Marlene looked at him she could hear the voices of her friends in her head. We can’t be together, not anymore. I’m sorry. We’re going into hiding. I’m scared. You know I’ll win. I love you.

“No one will know.” Peter shook his head, his hand growing steadier by the second. “They think it’s Remus.” He drew in a deep breath, forcing himself to mean it, to want it. “Bye, Marly.” He whispered the words and saw the flash of light.

Marlene’s body hit the ground with a soft thud, her head falling next to the letter. Her eyes lay open, glazed and forever staring.

Peter had to press his hand to his mouth to not be sick, his fingers tingling at the feeling of casting an Unforgivable curse. His eyes travelled from Marlene’s dead, blank expression to the parchment beside her head. He recognised that handwriting. He walked over to her, taking care not to look at her anymore and picked it up. James . He was worried about him… He knew it was all for show, James hadn’t cared about Peter for years, if at all. But maybe he suspected. Peter knew he had to work harder with his so-called friends, if he wanted to prove himself to the Dark Lord. A sharp pain sliced his arm, a small cry escaping him. He looked, his mark was no longer green, but jet black. He’d done it.

“The other side are on their way. Let's go.” A gruff voice called from downstairs before steps moved through the house and disappeared.

The parchment slipped from Peter’s fingers, drifting down to land on Marlene’s outstretched palm. He kicked her wand behind him as he turned to leave the room, now it looked as though she had been killed without knowing who it was, in the middle of reading the letter. It probably didn’t matter much, but it gave Peter more of a sense of ease. He followed the sound of the voice, joining the other members of Voldemort’s inner circle, minus Snape of course. He did not know of Peter’s change of heart, and was not going to learn of it. Not until it was all over.

A quiet ache ran through the house as it was left alone, the bodies of the fallen left to run cold on the floor.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” Sirius growled at Alastor, pushing past him as he slammed the door open. “Marlene! Marlene!” He shouted into the house, walking forward towards the kitchen. He gagged when he saw Marcus’ body lying there next to his mother and father. He stumbled back against the doorway, looking around.

“Marlene!” He screamed out, pushing past the other members of the Order who were walking into the scene. He checked the living room before forcing his way upstairs and slowly pushing open the door into Marlene’s room. He slumped down onto his knees seeing her body. “No…” He crawled forward to pull her into his arms, wrapping his arms around her. “No.”

“Sirius…” Remus whispered. He’d only just gotten back from his last mission, the exhaustion obvious on his face. He and Albus had been halfway through their usual debrief when the message had come in, the message that the McKinnons' house had the Dark Mark emblazoned in the sky above it. Naturally Remus had come and had known Sirius would be there. “Oh Merlin, Sirius, I’m…” He took another step into the bedroom, unable to tear his eyes from Marlene’s.

“Get out. Get the fuck out of here.” Sirius snapped, holding Marlene close to his chest, stroking her hair. He looked down at her before he screamed out in agony, holding her tightly; unable to comprehend that she was dead.

“You don’t mean that. You’re upset.” Remus whispered, though a tear had fought its way down his cheek. Sirius had never spoken to him in that way before, not even when Remus had screamed at him for telling Snape about the passageway to the Shack. It stung, it hurt worse than any full moon. “I’m sorry she’s gone, Sirius.”

Sirius could barely hear anything, he lifted Marlene into his arms, lifting her up onto the bed and settling her onto the blankets. He stood up, leaving her there. “Get the fuck out.” Sirius snapped, moving forward to push Remus out of the room.

“Why are you being like this?” Remus asked him, his eyes wide. “This wasn’t me, Sirius. I didn’t- You know I would never hurt any of you!”

“You weren’t here! Where were you? If there were more of us we could have helped.” He growled, his thoughts were jumbled and he just needed someone to blame.

“You know I can’t tell you that! I was away on Dumbledore’s orders, Sirius!” Remus’ hand gripped the banister, his back pressed against it as Sirius backed him out of Marlene’s room. He could still see her long blonde hair on the bed, his stomach turning. “I’m sorry she’s gone, I really fucking am. But I promise you, I was with Dumbledore.”

“How do I know you’ve not been off with the enemy?” Sirius said, closing the door behind him, protecting Marlene in the only way he could. “How do I know you aren’t lying? You got here so quickly…”

“You really think I would betray you?” Remus snapped, the mere implication that Sirius thought he was the spy shattering him. “You think I’d work with him , betray James and Lily, put Harry at risk? Get Marlene killed? Fuck you, Sirius. You dare? You dare think that the things I’ve been doing haven’t been for the Order, for Dumbledore? You think so fucking little of me to consider I’d ever buy in to his blood purity bullshit? Me ? Clearly you don’t know me at all.”

“Marlene’s dead, people didn’t know where she was, where her family was. Marcus.” Sirius wretched, doubling over but trying not to throw up. “How else would they know?” He groaned.

“I don’t fucking know how they found her!” Remus was shouting now, furious at his supposed friend. “But I didn’t sell her out, I didn’t sell any of you out! Because I believe in my friends, Sirius, I would never think you or Peter would have betrayed James. But no, I do work for the Order alone and suddenly I’m a spy. I know you’re hurting, and I know you’re grieving. But I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me for months, and I’m sick of it! So go fuck yourself, I’m done.” He stormed down the stairs, the front door slamming behind him.

“Fuck you! Fuck you, you traitor!” Sirius screamed down the stairs, his knees giving way as he slumped down.

“Get him out of here.” Alastor said to a couple of Order members, who grabbed Sirius and dragged him out of the house.

The front door shut, the green glow of the Dark Mark still lingering in the air. But the house was silent once more.

[punksarahreese]

Comfort | Restart

Medtober day 3 + 4 (event by @page-doctor-bekker)

Med student!Sarah; everyone needs a real support system

Word count: 2335

CW: minor parental gaslighting/manipulation

***

Sarah had hoped no one would notice, though she quickly realized her body gave itself away all too easily. No amount of caffeine could hide the sluggishness in her movements, her limbs feeling heavier than lead. If it wasn’t that it was probably the way her voice held no cheerful tone like it usually did, instead her words fell flat and had April casting her concerned glances.

She kept to herself that day, all too exhausted to even try to be social. As long as she made it through her clinical hours she could go home and sleep, at least for a few hours. She hadn’t gotten more than six the past few days, instead pouring over her textbooks that had taken their rightful place strewn across the floor. The exam for her latest rotation was coming up and Sarah was feeling the anxiety far more than usual. That was at the fault of her mother, though the woman would say it was her daughter’s problem alone.

“Sarah, you need to stop worrying over such silly things,” she had told her over the phone, “The only thing you should focus on is school.”

“Mom…”

“Now, you know how important this is. You don’t have time for friends, it will only slow you down. My daughter will be a doctor, right? You wouldn’t let me down after all this money I’ve sent…”

It always ended like that, the passive aggressive cherry on top of narcissism. Her mother wasn’t maternal in the slightest, though she would still use her relationship to Sarah for her benefit. Sure she made certain Sarah had all the money she needed to be successful, but it all came with a price. She was expecting her daughter to make a name for herself as a doctor, which would of course leave room for bragging and manipulation on Elizabeth’s part. Sarah’s whole future rested on her mother’s money as much as it did her own success, which was an unfortunate feat she was beginning to despise.

“Reese,” if she hadn’t already been sitting down, the sudden voice on her right could have knocked her off her feet. She winced at her own jumpiness, turning to look at Connor sheepishly.

“Dr. Rhodes,” she pushed a scrap piece of medical tape into her textbook before letting it fall shut on the marked page, “Hi.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah… yes of course. Just getting some studying in.”

“Uh huh,” he looked at her for a moment and Sarah knew she probably wasn’t helping her case by looking like a whole mess, “Ava was looking for you.”

Usually a mention of her mentor would immediately grab her attention and send Sarah scurrying off to find out what she wanted. This day, however, she wanted to do the opposite. Ava could see through her in seconds and Sarah didn’t have the energy to be chastised for being spacey or distracted. She was burnt out and as much as she enjoyed being on the surgeon’s service she would much rather go home.

“Oh?” Was all she said, getting to her feet. She checked her watch, realizing it was just in time for her break to begin. Sarah gathered her textbook along with her glasses she had opted to wear that day instead of contacts. One more look at Connor preceded her reply, “I’ll go find her in a bit then.”

She didn’t look back at the fellow but she knew he was probably watching her in confusion, her attitude much different than usual. Usually she would be following after Ava like a lost puppy, so the fact that she didn’t even ask where she was was wildly out of character. Sarah didn’t have the time to worry too much about it though, a chirp from her phone letting her know her mother had more to say to her.

***

“Check on your med student.”

“What?” The look Connor got from his colleague was a guarded one, clearly she didn’t know where this was going. Connor and Sam had been pestering her for a while about her soft spot for Sarah Reese, so Ava had become accustomed to assume teasing would ensue at any mention of her.

“She looks like a mess today,” he said as he snatched a chip from the bag she had been munching on, “Bloodshot eyes and way more jumpy than usual, and that’s saying something.”

“What happened?”

Connor shrugged but couldn’t help the little smirk at how concerned Ava immediately became, “Don’t know. That’s why you should check on her.”

***

Ava found her in the locker room reserved for med students and interns, thanks to one of Sarah’s classmates who pointed their instructor in the right direction. She wasn’t sure what to expect when she nudged the door open but what she got was a bit of a shock.

Sarah was sitting in front of her locker, knees pulled up to her chest and her grey scrubs already a bit dusty from the floor. She was staring blankly at the textbook propped up on the bench, completely unfocused from the words. She mustn’t have heard Ava come in because she didn’t react, the only sound being a sniffle.

“Sarah?”

Just like Connor had pointed out, she jumped far more than she had ever before. Ava knew the medical student was on edge most days, but this seemed a bit concerning. That worry only grew when she came around the corner to face Sarah properly, not expecting quite the sight she found.

Sarah’s eyes were swollen and red, as though she had been crying for quite some time. That theory was pretty much proven by the tears tracking down her ruddy cheeks, leaving little stains where they landed on her top. Her hands shook as they worried the fabric over her knees, a rhythmic movement that must have been an unconscious thought. The med student looked like she hadn’t slept for days or like she had been to Hell and back; or maybe both.

“D-doctor Bekker,” she looked up in alarm at her mentor, very deer-in-the-headlights as if she was terrified of what she might say. Something told Ava it wasn’t a coincidence that she hadn’t seen Sarah at all that day, since the other woman looked like she had been caught red handed by just the person she didn’t want to see.

“Hey, don��t do that,” Ava was crouching beside her without a thought, “What happened to formalities making you nervous?”

“I-”

“Sarah, what’s wrong?”

The brunette’s rapid head shake sent rouge curls tumbling into her line of vision, “Nothing! I’m fine.”

“Oh yeah you definitely look fine,” she was a bit shocked with the casual way Ava dropped onto the ground beside her, seeming unlike the focused surgeon she knew. Ava should be working, not sitting on the dirty locker room floor with her medical student who had spent the whole day avoiding her like the plague. Still, she showed no signs of leaving without an explanation, which made Sarah sigh.

“My cardio rotation exam is coming up…”

“Yes and? We’ve been preparing for this for weeks, Reese. You know the content like the back of your hand.”

“I don’t… it’s not that easy,” she protested, “If I don’t do perfect on every exam from here on out I might not match into the program I want. I need to be perfect, Ava.”

“No, don’t do that. You aren’t allowed to psych yourself out like this. You will do just fine, I didn’t train you to hide from the scary stuff now did I?”

“No…”

The blonde nodded affirmatively, “Exactly. So you’ve been studying and not sleeping, I take it?”

Sarah scoffed, “What gave it away?”

“The bags under your eyes are bigger than Connor’s ego,” she teased, “Plus the fact that you haven’t put that textbook away all day and you’re shaking like you do when you’re living off of caffeine.”

“Not fair,” Sarah sighed, “Don’t psychoanalyze me; that’s doctor Charles’ job.”

“Oh I would never take his job,” Ava replied, “I have a hateful relationship with Sigmund Freud and refused to do psych after med school.”

That was what finally got a smile out of Sarah, though it was followed by an incredulous headshake. Of course Ava would say something silly or unrelated to make her feel a bit better, she always did. She shifted uncomfortably on the hard flooring, looking at her mentor cautiously.

“Why are you here, Ava?”

“Because I needed to check on you.”

“You have other things to do…”

“Sarah, you’ve been spacey and avoiding me all day. I can’t very well let my star med student blow off rounds just to sit on this Petri dish of a floor and cry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, just tell me what’s really wrong so I can help.”

“I told you… exams.”

“Yeah but exam stress doesn’t often make you look like you’ve been crying for hours straight. What happened, Sarah?”

She knew she was backed into a corner, very aware of Ava’s concerned, stern eyes watching her every move. It’s not that she didn’t want to talk to her, Ava was probably the only person she wanted to talk to about this, but it wasn’t that simple.

“Exams are coming up; I’m moving to neuro in a couple weeks.”

“Yes? What… oh.” The surgeon seemed to have a sudden realization about what really was wrong. She sighed, slumping back against the locker beside Sarah’s before replying, “Reese, are you upset you won’t be on my service anymore?”

“Don’t say it like that,” she couldn’t help the whine in her tone, “I know I’m being a baby about it, just forget it.”

“No, Sarah,” the comforting hand that fell on her knee made her jump a bit, “It’s okay to be upset about it. I know you weren’t all too excited for CT in the beginning so it’s… rather endearing that you like it so much now.”

Sarah’s cheeks flamed at that and she tried to hide them behind her hands, not replying. She hated how upset the thought of rotation change made her, especially since she never even wanted to do cardio. Pathology was going to be her specialty in the end so that’s the residency she was applying for. She had no reason to feel so attached to cardiothoracics, not to mention the gut wrenching worry that Ava would forget about her.

“Hey,” Ava nudged her gently, “Sarah?”

“My mom is on my ass,” she admitted suddenly, “She’s very controlling and our whole relationship is based on money. She expects me to only think about school and stop ‘playing around’ in clinicals because I’m supposed to go to path in the end. That’s why I wanted to hate cardio, I shouldn’t have gotten attached.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” she shook her head, “It’s irrational the way she makes me so anxious but… I need to do perfect, Ava. I can’t afford any other outcome, you know?”

“That’s far too much pressure on you,” Ava looked at her seriously, “You’re allowed to have a life, Sarah.”

“Not in her eyes. I have to be a pathologist first and a human second or my mother won’t be happy.”

“And what about you? Are you going to be happy?”

“That doesn’t… it doesn’t matter.”

The blonde scoffed, “That’s rubbish and you know it. You can’t do your best if you aren’t sleeping and you sure as hell won’t do well in something you’re not passionate about.”

“But-.”

“No arguing,” she couldn’t help the small amusement at Sarah’s immediate compliance, “Please take care of yourself, Reese. Do this for you, not anyone else, or you’ll regret it.”

Ava didn’t wait for an answer, instead she got to her feet and dusted off her dark pants. She held out a hand for Sarah, looking at her with expectant eyes. The student let herself be tugged up off the floor, though she had trouble holding eye contact for very long.

“Sarah?”

She hummed in reply, busy wiping ruefully at the tears that had started to fall again during their talk. She saw the worry in her mentor’s face and it hurt a lot more than she wanted to admit. Ava Bekker cared for her of all people and here she was spending the day sulking and avoiding her.

“Come here.”

She was a bit taken aback when the blonde opened her arms, offering a hug for the first time. She wasn’t a physically affectionate person as far as Sarah had seen, not with her students especially. Still, it had been a very long time since she had received any sort of comfort like that and she had a hard time finding a response.

Eventually she did melt cautiously into Ava’s arms, surprised by how strong and secure they felt.

The surgeon didn’t say anything, just let Sarah lean into her until she relaxed into the embrace like expected. It was clear the other woman didn’t get a lot of physical comfort and Ava felt her stomach twinge a bit at how socially distant Sarah seemed. She deserved a support system, especially in such a competitive med program, and it broke her heart to realize she didn’t have much of one.

“Listen, you are a brilliant student, even if you have trouble with confidence. Enjoy neuro, don’t waste that time being upset and instead learn as much as you can. Don’t doubt yourself or downplay your abilities just because you think you should be in a lab instead. You would make an amazing surgeon, Sarah, whether it’s in CT or not.”

“Ava,” her reply was muffled slightly by her hair, “I don’t…”

“Just put yourself first, okay? And don’t be afraid to ask for guidance. Even if I’m not your mentor anymore once your rotation is up… I’m here, I promise.”

Sarah couldn’t think of a meaningful reply, overwhelmed by it all but still soothed by the lilac scent that was so Ava. All she could do was mumble a “thank you”, but in that moment it was more than enough.