#and i really like that quote paired with this scene tbh

[chinzhilla]

This is as tender as I can be. Someone like me.

[juyeonszn]

NECTAR

PAIRING kim sunwoo x f!reader

WORD COUNT 7.14k

GENRES smut ﹒ fluff

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, umm age gap!! reader is like 10 or so years older than sunwoo (it’s never really specified what her exact age is), reader is also eric’s older sister, there’s a bit of spanish thrown in here lol they’re in mexico for vacation what did u expect, sun eric and hak are professional baseball players, there’s a scene where a waitress is kinda icky to reader bc she’s older, i think mentions of alcohol, sunwoo is down BAD down bad to the point of no return it’s crazy, he’s also a horny impatient little shit, soft dom!sunwoo ig idk, oral (m! & f! receiving), face fucking, handjob ish, a little bit of hair pulling, vaginal fingering, So Much Praise, UNPROTECTED SEX pls be safe!!, edging, delayed orgasm kinda, missionary position, creampie, aftercare :P, the last scene is so cute and disgusting i hate couples

SUMMARY despite being nearly a decade older than him, sunwoo’s always had his eyes on you. so when your younger brother invites you to join them on vacation, you fall right into his trap. you can’t really blame him for finally taking the bait after all these years.

MORE woah hey again 😋 this one isn’t as wild as the hyunjae fic, but it has its moments LOLL if u ever read my warnings about this when it was on my wip list, then u know that this was actually an old fic back from when i wrote for anime 😭 i changed a lot tbh but a good chunk of the original plot is still there 👍 i got inspo for the last scene from a tumblr quote my irl posted on instagram isn’t that crazy anyway….. enjoy!!

PLAYLIST nectar — wayv, tangerine love (favorite) — nct dream, delicious — the boyz, passion fruit — the boyz, horizon — jaehyun, moonlight sunrise — twice

When you agreed to go with your younger brother on a vacation in Mexico for a week with his friends, you weren’t sure what you were expecting.

You knew your brother’s friends well. They'd gone to high school together and after partly going their separate ways following graduation, decided to go on yearly trips to make up for any lost time. This year, the destinations were the gorgeous beaches of Mexico. Cozumel, Cancun, you name it. You were hitting all the spots.

Those were the luxuries of being the older sister of a professional baseball player.

From the start of your getaway, every single one of your movements felt like they were being watched. Your skin burned with the heat of mocha brown eyes staring at you. Half of you wanted to point it out to Eric, but figured you’d save yourself from the drama. Besides, you were a big girl and two could play at that game.

The first instance took place before you even left for the trip.

You lived about an hour away from Eric and since you were all taking the same flight, you thought it would be more convenient to just ride to the airport together. And because he was closer to the airport, he offered for you to stay at his and Sunwoo’s apartment. Haknyeon would be meeting you there due to prior engagements with his own team.

When you arrived at your brother’s place, you immediately regretted it. You hadn’t called before going over and Eric happened to be out, leaving you alone with Sunwoo. There was nothing wrong with him, you just hadn’t seen him in a couple years and you were afraid of it being awkward.

The younger male helped you bring your things inside, huffing when he dropped your suitcases in the guest bedroom. He wipes away imaginary sweat from his forehead, blowing out a raspberry as he turns to face you.

“Did you pack bricks in there? Why the fuck was that so heavy?”

You laugh. Sunwoo had always been quite the clown as long as you’d known him. “I’m a girl, what did you expect? We never pack lightly.”

“You can say that again,” he snorts, twisting his torso to pop his back. “Uh, are you hungry? We have some leftover takeout in the fridge ‘cause you know damn well neither of us know how to cook.”

Before you can respond, you’re distracted by the sight of him raising his arms to stretch, his t-shirt riding up to show a sliver of his abdomen. From the way his slender fingers lock above his head to the taut skin peeking behind the fabric, you’re entranced. Your brain finally comprehends the fact that Kim Sunwoo was no longer a teenage boy, but rather a grown man.

He clears his throat, breaking your trance and forcing you to stop staring. Your cheeks flush slightly as you attempt to hide the embarrassment flooding your features. His lips are pulled into a smug grin, making you aware that he caught you. He doesn’t say anything though, keeping the cocky smirk as he leaves the room. (Presumably to go to the kitchen.)

With hefty feet, you drag yourself to follow. He’s already warming up the leftovers for you as you take a seat at the island barstool, resting your chin on your palm and your elbows on the counter. Your moment from a few minutes ago is long forgotten as you become transfixed by him on the other side of the island.

It’s weird for you to think about how much Eric has matured, coming from an older sister’s point of view. But having that same realization for Sunwoo is a completely different can of worms. You watch as he extracts the container out of the microwave and opens a drawer beside him to grab a pair of chopsticks simultaneously, all without skipping a beat.

He spins on his heels to place the food in front of you, pausing when he notices that you’re staring at him again. The glint in your eyes was more wholesome than before and it made his heart stutter in his chest. He slides the container across the surface of the island, leaning closer to you.

It was almost like your gaze trapped him in a spell, taking over his actions and drawing him towards you like a magnet. He’s never wanted you as much as he did right now, seeing you in his home, sitting on the stool in his kitchen. Your eyes widen when you’ve snapped back to reality.

Before he can do anything, the sound of the front door unlocking stops him and he’s stepping away to tidy up his mess as if nothing happened. Eric comes in to greet you happily and life continues on just as it had prior to Sunwoo leaning into your personal space. He acts like it never occurred, laughing along at a stupid joke your brother made.

And for some reason, you thought he would keep pretending nothing happened. What a rude awakening you were in for.

It’s a couple days into your trip and you were sitting on a lounge chair poolside, while Eric and Haknyeon had gone to get drinks. Sunwoo placed himself in the seat next to you, his sculpted chest and torso gleaming in all their tanned glory.

He knew it was wrong of him to pine after his best friend’s sister, but how could he not? There was something about your maturity that drove him crazy. But even if you ignored that, anyone who could see would find you stunningly gorgeous. The sight of you scantily clad in a bikini was enough to make the strongest men weak.

Perhaps it was also the thrill that you were nearly a decade older than him.

At this point, you weren’t sure if the warmth engulfing your body was from the sun or the brunette’s intense gaze, but you want to push your luck, the incident at the apartment still fresh on your mind.

“Sunwoo? Do you mind putting some sunscreen on my back for me?” You ask innocently, grasping the base of the tube firmly. His tongue darts out and swipes across his lips.

She knows what she’s doing, he thinks to himself.

“Yeah, s’no problem,” he responds cooly, standing from his chair to sit behind you on yours.

You’re borderline on his lap, so close that you can feel his breath on your neck. Just to fuck with him some more, you reach behind yourself to untie your swim suit top.

You’ve been on this playing field long enough to know when a man wants you, but you’ve never been an easy target. It was like a game of cat and mouse for you. Right when they think they’ve got you, you always seem to be three steps ahead.

This little chase that you were leading Sunwoo on wasn’t any different.

His fingers dance dangerously low on your back, working the lotion into your skin wonderfully. As you’ve gotten older, your body has undoubtedly changed. The fat of your thighs was far more than it was when you were in your early twenties/late teens. Your stomach was lined with stretch marks, no two the same. But even so, you remained ever confident. You wouldn’t put up with anyone who wouldn’t agree that your so-called ‘imperfections’ were beautiful.

After a few minutes, once the trap had been set, you tied your bathing suit back. The ghost of his skilled fingers lingered as you stood from the lounge chair, spotting your brother and Haknyeon walking back.

The brunette had never been denied before. He got what he wanted without fail, and he’d be damned if this was the one outlier. He’d just have to prove to you that even though he was younger, he was more of a man than any you’d ever been with. And that was a promise.

Later that evening, the four of you had gone to your respective rooms to shower and get ready for dinner. Luckily, Eric had used his brain for something good and reserved separate hotel rooms for each of you. ‘Just in case,’ he’d said.

You did the finishing touches of your makeup and checked your phone, finding a text from your brother.

[8:07] eric: we’re all in the lobby

[8:07] eric: just waiting on u

[8:07] eric: but take ur time dear sister pls don’t rush on our account

[8:08] eric: it’s not like we have an uber waiting for us or anything

[8:08] eric: note the sarcasm btw

You roll your eyes as you grab your purse, tossing the device inside. Who was he to talk about how long it took you to get ready? You were in your thirties and you were not about to be bossed around by your little brother. Back when he was still in high school, you were the one telling him to speed up his morning process.

Your dad had gotten a job halfway across the country right before his second year and it crushed him. You remember how upset he was when they broke the news, the thought of packing up his entire life and leaving all of his friends stung. So instead, you got a well paying job and bought a two bedroom apartment for the both of you, that way he could stay and finish out the rest of high school. You made some sacrifices, sure, but you were practically done experimenting in your life. You were in your late twenties by this point, what more was there to do? You’d already graduated from university so helping out your brother was doing everyone a favor.

After living together for nearly three years, you and Eric had grown a lot closer. With such an age difference, it’d been difficult to relate to one another and bond over certain things. When he’d discovered a new phase to go through, you had moved past it years prior. You were always just out of reach from each other until then. It was like the universe itself was trying to bring you together.

Even now, both of you much older, he still calls and asks to come over to your place so he can hang out. You meant just as much to him as he did to you.

The elevator dings, opening so you can stroll towards the group of young men waiting for you. Right when they caught sight of you, you started making your way to the Uber parked under the carport outside of the hotel.

The drive to the restaurant was silent, but you could feel an intense gaze on your form. Purposefully, you’d worn your most revealing outfit. A nice tight dress to hug your matured body and some skinny heels to elongate your legs. You were thankful that your brother wasn’t the type to be overly protective, well aware that his older sister could carry her own by now. However, you think even Haknyeon had started to pick up on your actions and the unspoken tension between you and Sunwoo.

You arrived at your location for the evening, stepping out of the car gracefully. You received multiple stares from other patrons and even a few employees. You weren’t sure if it was because you were just that drop dead gorgeous, or if it was another reason entirely. Maybe they were wondering what three men who looked as young as they did, were doing with an older woman such as yourself.

You don’t have to dwell on it for too long, a host showing the four of you to a booth almost immediately. Shout out to Eric and Sunwoo for having connections.

The seating arrangement ends up with you and Sunwoo on one side, Haknyeon and Eric on the other. You had a feeling this was not a good idea. They’d dropped you right where he wanted.

When the waitress comes to take your drink order, you feel the toasty warmth of a hand on your thigh, nearly tripping you up as you point out a margarita on the rocks from the menu. After she jots everything down, she taps her pen against the tablet. She then gestures between your party.

“Are any of you dating?” she asks curiously, eyeing you with a quirk to her brow. To anyone else, it’s a normal question. Eric, Haknyeon, and Sunwoo were indeed good looking guys. (One of them was your brother, of course he was attractive— where do you think he got it from?) But you could see right through her fake act. She had to have recognized the three baseball players.

“Haha, no actually. She’s my sister.” Eric chuckles, pointing at you with his thumb. She narrows her eyes momentarily before covering it up with a sickeningly sweet smile.

“Ah, tú hermana.” She tries to laugh off, but when the boys furrow their eyebrows, she realizes it fell upon deaf ears. You fight the urge to burst into laughter at how stupid they were.

“She said ‘your sister’ in Spanish. Idiots, I swear.” You explain to the still confused table. They let out a chorus of ‘ohhhh’s in response. Learning Spanish was something you’re glad you did, seeing as you sometimes needed to translate during your trip. You would definitely hold it over them when you got back.

The waitress seems to notice how close you and Sunwoo are sitting, but doesn’t call you out on it. While the other two are oblivious to her fixation, the brunette catches on quickly, squeezing the inside of your thigh as she continues her silly little version of twenty questions.

“Cuantos años tienes?” She asks you personally, realizing that you can understand her. What ever happened to girls supporting girls?

“How old are you?”

“En mis treinta.” You answer without hesitation, not exactly telling her for the sake of your own satisfaction. The press of Sunwoo’s fingers trails upward, causing you to shift uncomfortably.

“In my thirties.”

You can sense that she wants to say something snarky to you, her opposition to your age clear as glass, but she chooses not to. Whether that’s because she wants to seem like a good person in front of the boys or otherwise, you couldn’t care less. As long as you hadn’t been disrespected. And you knew if you were, Eric and the guys would jump to defend you with all their beings.

After what feels like a millennium, she finally leaves you alone, even going to the extent of switching tables with another waitress. Was that even allowed? You’re not entirely sure, but at least you didn’t have to deal with someone rude.

The majority of the dinner goes smoothly, the drinks and the food tasting unlike anything you’d ever had. Haknyeon couldn’t stop raving about the different flavors he was experiencing. At some point you think he told the waitress to send his thanks to the chef, in true Haknyeon fashion. That was the majority. The rest of the dinner was spent in absolute agony.

A certain baseball player couldn’t keep his hands to himself, eating with one and teasing you with the other. How no one paid any attention to what was happening right in front of them was beyond you. You’d even accidentally whimpered, covering it up by pretending the food was just that good.

The check couldn’t come fast enough, your body betraying you and anticipating getting back to the hotel. Your brother had different plans, claiming that the night was still young and he wanted to have drinks somewhere else. Your disappointment must’ve been obvious, because Sunwoo comes to your rescue.

“Eric, I think your sister’s ready to hit the hay.” He pats the brunette’s shoulder, one hand on his hip.

“Oh we can head back then—“ You interrupt him.

“No no, it’s fine, Eric, I'll be okay on my own. You guys have fun, don’t let me stop you.” You dismiss him. You could get rid of your problem yourself this way. No one to bother—

“I’ll go with you. Someone’s gotta make sure you get to your room safely, N/N. Besides, I'm beat. The sun’s starting to catch up to me.” Sunwoo grins, ruffling your hair. You glare at him, your irritation coming to light for the first time since you’d landed in the country. You’d done so well at acting like he wasn’t affecting you.

“Alright sick! Thanks, Sunwoo! Hak and I will see you tomorrow I guess,” Eric says. He turns to you, hugging your side. “I'll check to see if you’re still awake later.”

And that was that. You and your brother went your separate ways, ordering two Ubers for the pairs you were in.

It took all of about seconds following the ding of the elevator reaching your floor, for Sunwoo’s lips to meet yours. You jump, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, his large palms supporting you from your ass. It was so attractive that he could hold you like this— showing off the muscles he’s built from all his years of playing baseball, a far cry from that scrawny kid you knew when he was younger

He fumbles with his keycard, waving it frantically in front of the sensor. There’s a flash of green and he pushes the door open wide enough to fit the two of you through its threshold. Never once do your mouths disconnect, kissing each other so feverishly it raises the temperature of the room. He kicks the door closed behind him with his foot, pressing you up against the floor to ceiling mirror-wall beside the bathroom. The heat radiating off of your body fogs up the outline of your figure.

Sunwoo can’t seem to get enough of you, groping and grabbing any part of you that he can. You have to admit, you’ve never felt so needed— so wanted— in your life. In the messiness of teeth clashing and tongues tangling, your desperation begins to run rampant. You whine as he tugs at your bottom lip.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this, N/N,” his voice is husky and breathy, his soft pants filling your ears. He pecks your bare shoulder affectionately, cupping your right breast in his hand. “How long I’ve been waiting for you to take me seriously… to let me treat you like a real man should.”

His knee nudges itself between your legs, creating some much appreciated friction momentarily, his erection prominent against your thigh.

“I know that you know what you're doing when you dress like this. All slutty and revealing, showing yourself off to everyone,” his mouth hovers over the skin of your neck, goosebumps littering the surface. “But really, you do it for me, huh? You do it on purpose ‘cause you know how crazy it makes me. You know exactly what I’ve been wanting since we got here. That’s my smart girl.”

You can’t help the small moan that erupts from the back of your throat, his words and the wet feeling of his tongue circling the area he had just been sucking on going straight to the excitement pooling in your belly. He smiles mischievously, thumb running over your clothed nipple.

You’d been so lost in pleasure that you hadn’t even realized he’d moved you to the bed, your back on the fluffy white comforter and your thighs spread apart for him. He takes a hold of the back of his collar and removes his shirt in one swift motion, pushing your dress upward afterwards to assist you in discarding it.

His eyes rake your now half-naked body, the fullness of your tits nearly spilling out from the lacy nude strapless bra you were wearing. He drags a finger along your lace covered slit, his lips curling when he watches you shudder underneath his touch.

“Sunwoo, please…”

You don’t even know what you’re begging for, just that you need it. And you need it badly.

“Please, what?” He tsks, now massaging your inner thighs, working you up just like he wants. You pout, hoping to convey the message without pleading. Embarrassment floods your body when you realize he’s not gonna make it easy for you. “Use your words, sweetheart.”

You shut your eyes, hoping to will away the sheer mortification flushing your entire being. “P-please touch me.”

This fuels his ego even further. As if it could get any bigger.

“Open your pretty eyes, baby,” he coos, leaning forward to kiss you. When you obey his request, he hooks his long fingers into the waistband of your panties. “There we go. See, good girls get what they ask for.”

He slides them off, parting your legs immediately. The cool air makes you flinch. The one article of clothing that kept you unexposed was gone now, along with the confident woman from earlier in the day.

He repeats his actions from minutes ago, his pointer finger collecting your slick as it slides through your folds with ease. The squelching sound it makes is horrifying, your shame settling back into place. He kisses the plane of your stomach gently, murmuring into the skin.

“Do you hear that, sweetheart? Do you hear how excited you are for me? There’s no point in trying to hide it anymore.”

Your eyes widen at his words, opening your mouth to say something in retaliation but he takes this opportunity to bury two fingers inside of you. A gasp leaves your throat consequently, your back arching on instinct. It had been a while since a man had set aside time for foreplay. He truly was making good on his word, treating you like a real man should.

He lowers himself, positioning his face in front of your pussy and darts his tongue across his lips before flattening it against your clit. The sensation makes you shiver, though that reaction is nothing compared to what happens next. He curls his fingers inside of you, brushing that certain spongy spot that drives you insane, then begins alternating between kitten licking and sucking on the engorged skin of your clit.

You cry out, hands flying down to tug at his hair and dig your nails into his scalp. He doesn’t appear to mind at all, more like he enjoys it, reveling in the way you’re losing yourself to him slowly but surely. It's a dream come true for him. He's finally getting the opportunity to completely ruin you after waiting for-what-felt-like-ever. Horny, teenage Sunwoo would be jumping for joy over this.

He remembers the first time he met you. Eric had invited him, Haknyeon, and other members of the team over to your shared apartment for a team bonding during their second year. The only thought in his mind upon seeing you was ‘damn, I love older women.’ You were just so sure of yourself, he couldn’t help the tightness in his pants and the thumping in his chest.

And those feelings never seemed to fade.

In fact, it appeared that they grew with time. He’d dated other girls since then, especially because he was so popular in high school and in university. Yet for some reason he could never quite pinpoint, things never worked out. They just didn’t feel like the one for him, so he’d end the relationship before anyone got hurt more than they had to. Then the yearly trip would happen and Eric would update him on your life and his crush on you would come rushing back to him.

Even when you’d gotten engaged a few years ago, nothing could stop the way his heart beat only for you and you alone. He didn’t really like the dude all that much, but expressed support for you anyway because he wanted you to be happy. After Eric told him that he broke off the engagement to pursue someone else, Sunwoo just about lost it. He wanted to hunt the guy down himself. He couldn’t fathom how one could just throw away the once in a lifetime opportunity of calling you his. You deserved the world and so much more.

Everything resurfaces and it’s evident in the way his fingers dive even deeper inside of you, his appendage lapping mercilessly at your aching clit. You don’t question him even if you wanted to, your entire body feeling like it’s on cloud 9. He takes a break from licking and sucks at the sweet spot harshly, ripping out a prolonged moan from your lips.

Your release is in your field of vision now, so close that you can nearly taste it. You attempt to buck your hips up into his mouth to chase what you’re yearning for. He senses exactly what’s happening, so he slows his assault, much to your aggravation. You can’t even help the pleas that tumble from the back of your throat.

“No no no no, please,” you sit up, your hands still intertwined with his messy brown locks. “Sun, please… why’d you stop?”

His smile is almost conniving, you swear you can see his canines peeking through. He hovers above you, caging you between his torso and the bed. “You've been having all the fun, so now I think it’s time I have some, too.”

You’re about to ask what he means, when he steps back to undo his belt and zipper, pushing down his pants in record speed. Even through the black material of his (expensive looking) briefs, you can tell he’s well endowed. You rub your legs together, still sensitive from being deprived of your orgasm, and your hunger for all of him increases immensely.

“Eager, are we?” He chuckles, switching places with you. He sits at the edge of the bed, his legs open enough for you to fit between them. You bite your bottom lip, gripping each of his muscular thighs. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing to get crushed by them. It sure would be a hell of a way to die.

He leans back onto his palms, bunching up the sheets in his fists. You move forward to press your mouths in a searing kiss, cupping his clothed erection in your hand. He groans as his teeth nearly gnash with yours. You seize the chance to discard his underwear and massage his cock. The warmth and length of it makes your mouth water, almost whimpering at how flushed it is. You can tell that he’s painfully hard in the way he’s extremely responsive to all of your touches. You swipe your thumb over his slit, collecting the pre cum that’s formed there.

After deciding that enough is enough, he parts from you in favor of ordering you to get on your knees. You maintain eye contact as you wrap your lips around him, the nerves you’d been feeling all night finally washing off. Your tongue swirls around the tip a few times before it licks a broad line from the base back up along the underside. You take him down your throat this time, massaging his balls as you do so. Your cheeks hollow out as you bob your head, your hands jerking what you can’t fit.

An erratic knock at the door startles both of you and you’re about to remove yourself from him, but he keeps you there with a large hand, urging you to continue. You listen reluctantly, assuming the person would just go away if you ignored them.

However, the knock comes again moments later. Sunwoo looks down at you. His eyes tell you all you need to know, so you don’t stop.

“Sunwoo! Hey, have you seen my sister? She’s not in her room.”

You practically choke on him at the sound of your brother’s voice, but he still doesn’t let you pause. His attention doesn’t leave you as he replies.

“Uh yeah, she’s borrowing my shower. Hers wasn’t working.” He lies. His eyes bore into yours intensely, the knowledge that he had Eric’s hot older sister right here in front of him on her knees shrouding his mind.

The brunette outside seems to find that answer sufficient enough and doesn’t interrogate further. “Okay, cool. Just tell her to text me when she gets back to her room.”

“You got it.”

His footsteps can be heard padding against the carpet of the hallway as he walks away.

Your nose brushes against the hair at the base of his cock before he cups your cheeks and lifts your mouth off of him. You take in a deep breath, keeping your hands on his dick firmly. As you regain your breathing, you leave kisses all over, starting at the tip and ending down the shaft. You feel him shudder beneath you, a satisfaction coming from knowing that you’re the one who has him so weak.

You had Kim Sunwoo wrapped around your pretty little finger.

Unbeknownst to you, that’d always been the case. Since day one. But it didn’t matter at the moment. All that either of you cared about right now was wrecking each other.

He slides his cock down your throat again, loving the sight of you getting face fucked by him. You moan around him, the vibrations causing him to grasp at your hair tightly, though you don’t mind the sting either.

“You look so gorgeous like this, sweetheart. Your lips look so pretty wrapped around me. Can’t wait until I’m inside you,” he hisses when your tongue runs over his slit. “You want me to fuck you into the mattress? Until you can’t even remember your own name?”

You release him from your lips once more, nodding frantically. It’s almost pathetic how needy you are for him, your brother’s best friend, someone nearly ten years younger than yourself. “Yes, please, Sunwoo. I want you so bad. I want you to fuck me so hard, I can’t walk properly.”

His smirk from your pleads is ungodly. He swipes his thumb across your bottom lip, pinching it between his fingers before he pulls you up to kiss you roughly. Even though he has this big dominant act up on display, you know he wants you just as much. And he conveys it in the desperate way he moves his mouth against yours with such fervor.

After a few minutes, both of you get sick of wasting time and he flips you around so you’re on your back. He nips at your neck, whispering dirtily as he pumps himself in his hands.

“The only thing I want on your mind is me, you got that?” He lines his dick up with your hole, nibbling on your earlobe while he does so. “The name Kim Sunwoo is gonna be engraved in your fucking brain after tonight.”

Without any semblance of a warning, he pushes himself in, giving you no time for adjustment. His cock fills you up nicely, better than you’ve ever been before, and the feeling alone rips a particularly loud moan out of you. “Oh my god, Sun. Y-you're so big and your cock f-feels so g-good. So s-so good.”

“You’re so tight, your pussy is squeezing me. You gonna cream on my dick?”

He gives you another one of those sly grins, where it’s almost like he’s baring his canines to you, and you swear you’ve never wanted to be ruined as much as you do now.

His pace is unrelenting, nothing but sheer power going into every thrust of his hips. His cock hits places deep inside that you didn’t know existed. It amazes you how much stamina he has and it doesn’t appear like he’s letting up any time soon.

“Sunwoo, just like that— f-fuck yes— right there,”

“Look at you, Y/N, so fucking messy and all because of me.”

He hooks one of your knees on his shoulder, plunging even further into your pussy. The mewl you release is voluminous, enough to wake up anyone in the rooms surrounding his. One of his hands holds your leg in place while the other travels south, gripping your side and using his thumb to vigorously circle your clit.

The added stimulation is just what you need to nudge you closer to your tipping point, what you were deprived of earlier. He, of course, notices that and stops his attack with his finger. You whine in protest, not wanting to deal with his teasing again right now.

You open your mouth to express your distaste at the same moment he rolls his hips experimentally. So instead of complaining about his edging, you let out a choked groan.

“Sunwoo, please, let me cum. Please, I'm begging. I need to.” You hate that you’re in this position, but you can’t hold out much longer. Fatigue is catching up to you and if you don’t cum soon, you might pass out.

“You wanna cum, baby? You want me to let you cum?” He all but growls in your ear. You moan wantonly in response, quickly becoming a babbling mess. “I think you can wait a bit longer. Take it like a big girl, yeah?”

Your other leg wraps around his waist, allowing his already buried cock to kiss at your cervix. The new angle is unhinged, short circuiting your brain. Discarding any thought behind your actions, moving on autopilot, you pull him down to press your mouths together.

The combination of passion and pure lust drives both of you wild, fueling your desires. His lips part from yours and he moans breathily as you clench down on him, the exhale fanning over the lower part of your face. The sound is unlike anything you’ve heard before and you’d do just about anything to hear it again. The brunette was completely unaware of the effects he had on you, something as simple as a noise kicking you into high gear.

But it seems even he’s reaching his limits, not able to hold himself back anymore. In an attempt to finish you both off quickly, he brutalizes each piston of his pelvis. Your nails sink into his shoulders.

“F-fuck— S-Sunwoo I’m gonna— I’m gonna cum— so fucking—“

His thumb finds its way back to your clit and resumes its previous attack, the other circling around a peaked nipple, cutting you off. You arch into him, trying to bring the two of you impossibly closer. His cock rams in and out of you almost inhumanely at the rate he was going. With one particularly harsh thrust, he commands,

“Cum for me, sweetheart.”

The words send you overboard and you release around him, simultaneously gripping him like a vice and moaning so pornographically, you kind of feel bad for everyone else staying on this floor. Your whole body spasms with your orgasm, hushed moans falling from your swollen lips. Seconds later the twitch of his dick alerts you as he follows, filling you up with the warmth of his own cum. Had he not still been inside you, you were certain it’d flow right out, something akin to Niagara Falls. But you’re both too busy trying to catch your breaths to really pay attention to any of that extra stuff.

The ache was settling in your bones instantaneously, and you half-regretted encouraging him to ‘fuck you so hard you couldn’t walk properly’.

After what feels like an eternity, he slowly pulls out his softening cock, your pussy clenching at nothing and feeling empty as he presses a soft peck on the tip of your nose, his dominant personality dissipating along with it.

The moment feels strangely domestic, his coos of praise and the worry that he was too rough with you not flying over your head. Things like ‘you did so well, sweetheart’, ‘I’m so proud of you, baby’, and ‘your pussy was made for my cock’ floated around the air. He caressed your belly with one hand and your hair with the other before pulling himself away from you fully.

“Let me go get you a towel,” he smiles warmly, disappearing into the bathroom he told your brother you were borrowing. When he comes back, he has a fresh pair of briefs on and a damp washcloth on his forearm. “You know, I‘ve had the biggest crush on you since high school. The moment Eric introduced us, I practically fell in love.”

He carefully cleans up your cum covered thighs, weary of how sensitive you are. It dawns on him that you’re fighting back your sleep, but he also realizes that you can’t stay in his room, running the risk of being compromised and Eric finding out. He helps you into a sitting position and leads you to the bath.

He washes your hair and body for you, increasing the overwhelming amount of domesticity that you already started to feel. Even with his admission, you didn’t want to assume that this was something he really wanted. You’d made that mistake before, with your asshole of an ex fiancé, and you couldn’t stomach the thought of that happening with him. He was a young, hot professional baseball player. Why would he want to be tied down to you?

With a towel wrapped tightly around your body and your clothes draped over a shoulder, he aids you in your sneaky trip to your own hotel room. You fumble a bit with the key card, nervous under his gaze for some reason. When you finally get it open, you hurriedly enter, desperate to get away from him to avoid small talk. You were a grown ass woman and here you were, acting like a petulant child.

He reaches for your wrist and stops you prior to getting too far past the door frame. “Hey, hey, what’s the matter? Why won't you look at me? Did— did I do something wrong?”

“N-no! You didn’t. I just— I don't wanna misinterpret the situation...” You betray yourself and look him in the eyes, nearly melting at the soft chocolate color staring right back. He leans forward to kiss you on the lips. It isn’t rushed or forceful like any of the others from earlier in the night. It’s more like the loving one he placed on your nose. It conveys exactly what he wants to say, but can’t put into words, and rids of your doubts all at once. You instinctively shut your eyes, a smile working its way across your face.

“I’ll see you in the morning, sweetheart. Goodnight,” is what he leaves you with, scampering off to his room.

You bring your fingers up to your lips, the stupid grin not disappearing. He wasn’t kidding when he said the name Kim Sunwoo would be engraved in your brain tonight.

The next day, the four of you visit one of the beaches. You chuckle to yourself as you observe Eric and Haknyeon attempting to skimboard, but failing miserably. Your brother flies forward when his board skids to a stop and he stumbles a bit before regaining his bearings. The older laughs at him, hunching over and clutching his stomach as he does so.

Your eyes stay on them for a bit, but your head turns at the sound of footsteps approaching you and the beach towel you were sitting on. You finally glance over when a grunt fills your ears over the crashing waves. Sunwoo leans back onto his palms, sunglasses perched on top of his head. The goods you wanted were set between you, a bag nearly full to the brim with mandarin oranges.

On your way to the beach, you passed a vendor on the street selling different fruits. Among said fruits were the mandarins that caught your attention. You pouted when you realized you left your purse at the hotel, only having your I.D. on you. Being absolutely smitten with you and having no self control, Sunwoo made a promise to himself to come back when you were least expecting to buy you as many as he physically could. (Gift giving was one of his love languages.)

He smiles as your eyes light up like a Christmas tree in August, instinctively reaching for one of the oranges. You bring it up to your nose to smell the faint citrusy scent of the rind, humming contentedly afterwards. With the summer breeze blowing through your hair, the humidity painting your cheeks rosy and the sun behind you giving you a halo-like glow, you look like a scene ripped straight from a movie. Sunwoo feels like the most fortunate guy in the world knowing that he’s the only person who gets to see you like this, committing the visual to memory so he can look back on it whenever he pleases.

He decides that he could die right here right now, and he’d be satisfied with his life. He can already see it, his headstone; Rest in Peace Kim Sunwoo, 2000-2023.

You slowly start to peel the mandarin, each corner of your lips curled upwards. You pop a piece into your mouth, closing your eyes and savoring the taste of its nectar. Without pausing to think about it, you scoot closer to Sunwoo, feeding him some of the orange. A small giggle escapes the back of your throat when he smiles again, this time at how much more comfortable you are with him. (And also how yummy the mandarin is.)

“It almost tastes as sweet as you.”

He meant for it to be an innocent insinuation, but completely forgot about the fact that it could be misconceived as an innuendo. You slap his shoulder with a gasp because that’s exactly how you took it, and he raises his hands in surrender.

“Woah, I was trying to be cute. You’re the one with the dirty mind.”

You roll your eyes, shoving a few more pieces of mandarin into his mouth to shut him up. “Kim Sunwoo, you’re lucky I like you.”

His cheeks are puffed up with the fruit and he tries to smile at you, his pouty lips making him look a little silly. You press a quick kiss to them, forgetting that you were very much in public. He turns to you with eyes like a deer caught in headlights.

“What if Eric sees?” He swallows thickly.

You shake your head. “Let him. I’m happy. That’s all he really cares about.”

It befuddles you that just a week ago, you never would’ve thought this could happen. A week ago, Sunwoo was still that high school boy who stuttered whenever he spoke to you and came over to yours and Eric’s apartment every day after school. A week ago, you were still apprehensive about putting yourself out there, out of fear that you’d just get hurt again. But somehow, Sunwoo managed to change your entire perspective. And sitting here on this beach towel, feeding him mandarins and giggling at his jokes solidifies that for you.

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[wonton4rang]

This or that ¡!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairing: bnd x reader.

warnings: basically none but there are mentions of smut in the mtl part (only for the legal line ofc)

summary: bnd using alternative apps + who's most likely to pull an all nighter to binge watch a serie or just movies w you as their s/o.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

APPs:

yt music vs spotify

sungho; he literally uses yt music irl so i don't have to elaborate.

riwoo; spotify fr fr. i just feel it, it's like he likes that green icon idk.

jaehyun; i feel like he wanted to be part of the crew by using spotify but got convinced by sungho to use yt music :'(

taesan; we all know he would go to soundcloud but i'll give him spotify even though he might go to yt music because he finds it more "esthetically" pleasant.

leehan; any or neither? like he doesn't really care. so i'll just randomly give him spotify because it's the most famous one.

woonhak; spotify 100%, you know those kids that want to use the trendy or more used stuff because he wants to be part of the mass? yes, that's woonhak.

google translate vs papago

they all use papago 👍 the only one i feel like would try to use google translator is jaehyun but he will give up two seconds later.

netflix vs crunchyroll

sungho; he has the vibe that he'll watch anime but with the amount of kdrama quotes he knows, he LIVES in netflix wbk.

riwoo; probably kinda cliché but crunchyroll 😔 he is so watching anime with his glasses on while he sips that can of soda and eats some ramen.

jaehyun; netflix, same as sungho, they would actually watch dramas together just so they can talk about it later on when they have breaks during practice. even re-enacting random scenes to the rest of the members.

taesan; idk wow, i'll go for... crunchyroll? idk, it's just that i don't think taesan enjoys that much to sit down and watch something on tv but i'll go for crunchyroll because he likes to have free imagination. he definitely watches some famous or trendy dramas on netflix tho.

leehan; i think he would go with whatever the member next to him is watching and he is 99% of the time with riwoo, the other 1% he is with taesan what leaves us with the fact that he is watching crunchyroll while eating gummies and asking dumb questions.

woonhak; netflix too, he, jaehyun and sungho actually start to watch series together but woonhak misses a day due to homework and it's over for him because the other two binge watched 7 episodes without him so he ends up dropping off a lot of series 😔

star+ vs disney+

sungho; disney+, he ain't that serious to be watching some criminal minds or Grey's anatomy but you can definitely find him watching some big hero 6 and frozen !!

riwoo; i think that it'll depend on his mood but i can see him very into criminal series?? idk, it's just a thought, like it's something you wouldn't expect but i just feel it. plus he watches dance movies fr.

jaehyun; definitely disney+, again... he's watching it w sungho 😔

taesan; i'll go for disney+ because i feel like he would like the classics but i do think that he would be really into criminal stuff just because it makes him think to find out what happened or who's the killer.

leehan; def disney+, he's watching the little mermaid and cinderella everyday for sure. although, like taesan, he also finds appealing the criminal cases so they might watch some of them together.

woonhak; idk tbh, maybe disney+ because of his age but he is CRAVING to go on star+ and watching some marvel and dc stuff.

most to least to pull an all nighter:

sungho; i can see the picture, he has a routine and usually sleeps on time so it wouldn't happen very often but if you ask him nicely enough, given him a few kisses that might turn into something else, he would give in really fast because you're just too cute and pretty for him to say no to you :(

riwoo; definitely says yes and even has the idea himself one day only to fall asleep first and excuse himself the next morning by saying that he works and dances a lot. pls forgive his soul.

jaehyun; had the idea, it's not sleeping until sunrise, and will definitely not let you fall asleep either. i feel like an all nighter with jaehyun would be so fun and noisy like i can't explain it, it's just that jaehyun vibe/ energy that makes me feel like that idk. plus, he's definitely kissing you between movies/ episodes and y'all having to rewind it because you missed over 10 minutes of it.

taesan; well... i hope you don't like all nighters if you are dating this one because he ain't loosing precious sleep time over some business proposal and pizza. next question. now, if he did agreed to do it, he would only make it up until 3am-ish but fair enough !!

leehan; he is fucking you. i'm sorry. there's basically no way you pull an all nighter ALONE with leehan and he doesn't end up engaging with you in a sexual interaction of any type. like be so fr. he is watching whatever you want him to watch and you can just know he is laughing with that innocent smile of his when you tell him what you wanna do.

woonhak; i think he might say yes right away and then backup because he's actually very tired and falls asleep easily and he doesn't wanna leave you alone :( so he might just recommend to cuddle while lovingly talking about your day and falling asleep on each other's arms </3

so the list goes:

MOST.

jaehyun. again, he is so excited and actually wants to watch various movies or just binge watch a short serie (5-8 episodes)

leehan. don't get him wrong, he loves to watch stuff with you but when it's an all nighter he knows that you give in and start feeling hot after the 1:30am mark so he gets excited too.

woonhak. he loves the idea but his body betrays him, probably cause he wakes up earlier to go to school and actually does a lot of stuff during the day so yeah.

riwoo. basically same as woonhak but he ain't that excited, he might even think "why an all nighter when we could just take a day off and do it during the day?" but yeah.

sungho. again, he doesn't dislike the idea, but he has a routine, he really cares about his health, his hours of sleep, the food he eats, the exercise he does, and so on. so staying awake all night ain't his favorite hobbie.

taesan. i do believe he dislikes it, and he'll say so. he will explain that it doesn't make sense to him and he would rather not to. but there's a day that he gives in, giving it a chance because is you and he loves you so much :(

LEAST.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

for the ship asks: Noah/Blue and/or Noah/Blue/Gansey

Blue/Noah

Whether I ship it or not: yes I really do! They’re one of my favorite noncanon trc pairings tbh. I do think I was more actively into them on some previous rereads compared to recently but I still think they’re neat <3

Why I ship it or not: I mean they’re a lovely relationship whether you ship them or not, I love that Noah so immediately likes Blue (although obviously that was partly about her energy) that makes her feel more at home in the group, and as I mentioned in my notes consistently throughout the series when Blue is at her loneliest (the scene post the boat debacle in tdt / the kiss scene in tdt / the guiding counselor scene in BLLB) Noah will manifest and sort of reflect certain aspects of her feelings or allow her an outlet for them when normally it’s Blue who is the mirror to other chars, but Noah is also a mirror so that gets into an interesting territory the magic/world building of trc functioning as a metaphor for relationships and char work which is always my favorite way for magic in trc (and in many fantasy stories tbh but specifically in this context) to be utilized. So I think there is something very special to their scenes because of that thread and even though they don’t have as many as some other combos they tend to be emotionally impactful to me from that perspective. I generally enjoy when in paranormal stories there’s a blurred line or connection between love and death which is a big thing going on here but I’ll go into my thoughts on that in my Gansey/Blue/Noah answer otherwise I’ll be repeating myself. I also think while a lot of their interactions are very soft and adorable there’s often an undercurrent that’s just a little bit fucked up, such as Noah parasitically feeding off Blue’s energy (which she lets him do because she loves him so much..) or something of that nature, which makes it like. Real sweet but also real creepy, which is appealing to my tastes.

My opinion on their canon potential (chemistry, canon interactions, etc): well their kiss scene is definitely my favorite kiss scene in either series tbh but can you even call it a kiss with chemistry, or a kiss without chemistry for that matter, given it’s function in the story? That could be its own theoretical debate lol but I do think they consistently have really sweet moments of physicality such as the hair touching and hand holding and the pretzel-of-ghost-boy-and-not-psychic-girl scene. And like, it’s trc it’s the Gangsey there’s canon basis for p much everything ship wise.

My opinion on fanon interpretations/fandom around it (Favorite widespread hcs, pet-peeves, etc): I mean it isn’t that popular as a ship so would welcome more content around it.

Gansey/Blue/Noah

Whether I ship it or not: absolutely! one of my favorite triads in the Gangsey, actually there was a time a few years back where I would have called them my favorite that isn’t the case anymore since other ot3/triad dynamics have caught my eye more / I feel more strongly about at least 3 others than I do about this one, but it’s still really up there. Love them

Why I ship it or not: first of all on a thematic level there’s a lot to dig into with the three of them together. While obviously there is a lot going on in trc that is not the literal blurb, in theory the series is built around the idea of killing your true love with a kiss and the Blue x Noah kiss is essentially her first kiss with death because that’s what her kiss was always going to be, on my Blue Pinterest board I have a section labeled “her first and last kiss” (quote from that scene in the book) as my Gansey/Blue/Noah section. I just love the symmetry of the concept a lot. And then obviously just the transference kiss as a concept speaks to ot3 shipping imo. And then you have Gansey/Noah parallelisms re: their deaths and also the Whelk/Noah Gansey/Adam as foils part, and Blue and Noah being the two chars (besides maybe Henry which is a little different) who understand Gansey best which includes understanding his suicidality … there’s just a lot there that’s interesting imo and certain links between all three dynamics so that’s the perspective from which I enjoy it mostly.

My opinion on their canon potential (chemistry, canon interactions, etc): well Bluesey are canon and have plenty of chemistry imo, and I answered Blue x Noah already. I’m not going to say I think Gansey/Noah chemistry ranks high in terms of Gansey’s male friendships I do think it probably is the least homoerotic of them but like. There’s A Lot of competition to be fair. And there are moments (particularly the TRK scene where Gansey is swimming) that feel that way even if it’s less than other dynamics.

My opinion on fanon interpretations/fandom around it (Favorite widespread hcs, pet-peeves, etc): again mostly that I would like more exploration of it

[malinaa]

2023 WRITING REVIEW

tagged: no one i just wanted to do this and i forgot about it soz </3 tagging : board of directors i'd tag u here but this is mostly fic-based so sorree... anyway if u have already done this my b.... i wld like to see ur post tho @evcndiaz | @brimay | @usignedupforthis | @seek--rest | @posallys | @dustorangeheartssnowman | @adhd-merlin | @queerofthedagger

number of stories posted to ao3: 34 ±1 bc i updated a fic from a while back <3

word counted posted for last year: 90k... a feat (i wrote more but it was ofic so add like maybe 10k to that)

fandoms i wrote for: alex stern series, merlin, house md, pjo, spidey, hunger games, doctor who, & the grisha trilogy

pairings: merthur / arwen / mergwenthur / mergana, darlingstern, hilson, percabeth, petermj, everlark, tenrose, malina

stories with the most KUDOS: jealousy, jealousy (house md) with 522 <3 BOOKMARKS: except my life (merlin) with 137 <3 COMMENT THREADS: rip current (pjo) with 38 <3 *technically the answer to all of these is tested with torment but that's a fic i updated so i don't reallyyyyyy count it

work i'm most proud of (and why): thread of gold (arwen, bbc merlin) because i don't exactly post 2nd person fic and tbh most people HATEEEEE 2nd person fic AND i got people to enjoy it. HA!

work i'm least proud of (and why): coffee drinker (gen fic, bbc merlin) because it was just a promptfic and i didn't even really feel like posting it but i wrote it so i might as well yk?

share or describe a favorite review you received: any review that quotes a line but this one from judas kiss (arwen, bbc merlin)...

THIS. IS. WONDERFUL ❤️❤️❤️ *creates bookmark with gusto* I LOVE that you dug into what it might have been like for Gwen while she was under that enchantment! It was so creative to have her past memories blurring with glimpses of the present during the enchantment. I *felt* her disorientation, and it *hurt*. I felt so bad for Gwen all over again! 😭😭😭 That aspect of this story could have been a fantastic standalone one-shot in its own right, but noooo, you raised the bar and KEPT GOING and made it even better!!! I love that you showed Gwen and Merlin staying friends after Gwen becomes queen, and I love how she confides in him and how he immediately drops everything to go look for the offending piece of jewelry. The bit about Arthur’s incredulity at Merlin’s method of testing the enchantment was a great dash of humor, and I love that you fleshed out the concept of the enchantment to be something the others could experience so that they could truly *know* that Gwen had been innocent. And don’t even get me started on how much I love Arthur’s “Forgive me.” I love how he doesn’t think twice about humbling himself in front of everyone because his focus is solely on Gwen, consumed by the urgency of doing the right, honorable, and loving thing in that moment. You write Arthur and Gwen’s relationship so beautifully. 💕 Well done; I hate you (/affectionate) for all these feels. 🥰🫂👏

a time when writing was really, really hard: august through october... idek why i was literally in agony not writing

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: writing jj in spider-man: homewrecker because i've NEVER written him before (in my memory) and i was like. Hello .

a favorite excerpt of your writing: cannae lie i have a few favs so... killing is a love language (mergana, bbc merlin) Heartbreak snakes up his throat, constricting him at the sight of her. Morgana’s beauty is incontestable even like this, but her hatred wore her down to her bones. Gone were the full cheeks and rosy lips, the perfectly combed hair, the wardrobe that would put princesses to shame. Now, her face is sunken in, her hair a curled storm, her dress is merely black rags at this point. thread of gold (arwen, bbc merlin) Your father’s presence is larger than life. Larger than love. It looms. It casts shadows long enough to hide every hope and dream you’ve ever had for yourself. the boy and the girl (malina, the grisha trilogy) Memory fractures into shards. Real or not real? There’s Mal in the meadow. Mal buried beneath the hanging tree. Mal cold in her palms. There’s a sky darker than night. Her hands bloodied. A knife lodged in his heart. Her knife. His blood. Her fault. She killed him. She loves him. Her fault. Rest her head on his still chest. Her fault. No heartbeat. Her fault. No warmth. Cold light spilling from her palms. She killed him. The Saint’s only true worshipper martyred.

how did you grow as a writer last year: my hopes from last year was that i finally finish a multichap fic.... 😭 does a short 3-shot count. besides that i wrote more consistently and i'm finally Used to my writing style. i think.

how do you hope to grow this year: hell if i know if i could write something longer than 20k that'd be great 😭😭😭😭

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.): the board.... @rosesau / @bipercabeth / @stellwood fnh...... i'd tag katie but she absconded from tumblr smh. anyway hi freaks n geeks

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: oh i don't even know. nothing ig

any new wisdom you can share with other writers: bro idek the more i write the more writing becomes fundamentally so hard to talk about ... sorreeee

any projects you're looking to starting (or finishing) this year: IF I DON'T FUCKING MAKE PROGRESS ON MY PLAY I WILL BASH MY HEAD INTO A WALL. THIS CAN'T KEEP HAPPENING. ATLAS AND VIVIAN YOU WILL BE WRITTEN ON THE PAGE INSHALLAH

[booksandwords]

The Boy Who Wanted to Be a Deer by Ember White. Illustrated by Marta Maszkiewicz

Age Recommendation: Pre-School Topic/ Theme: Integrity/ Authenticity (it's all about being true to yourself so...) Setting: Unspecified, America at a guess

Rating: 4/5

I never would have found this or read it without stumbling across the author on social media showing some of their... weirder reviews, and tbh asking for Aussies to balance out the crazy. I saw at least one review calling The Boy Who Wanted to be a Deer grooming and to be honest, if you want to see it that way, that's how you will see it. Though why you would choose to see it like that I don't know. That's just weird. To look at this absolutely beautiful book as something with a malicious message is beyond me. I'm glad I did read this though. Not so much for Ember White's story as lovely as it is but for Marta Maszkiewicz's stunning illustrations.

I will make some comments on Ember White's story first. Let me start by sharing a quote from one of Ember White's tumblr posts. "I wanted to tell that story of anyone's who ever felt that they didn't belong anywhere. Whether you are a nerd, autistic, queer, trans, a furry, or some combination of the above, it makes for a sad and difficult life. This isn't just my story, and this is your story as well." Ember's story is quite unlike anything I've read in a while. Their story is well thought out well, and you can see that all their heart is in their book. You can see that their book is the book that they wish they could of had as a child. Embre gives us Tommy a young boy with a secret. In his case it is a pair of deer antlers that he keeps in a box and a want to be something else. The message of The Boy Who Wanted to be a Deer is to just be you. It shows the pain of repression, the pain that happens when you try to be someone you aren't. The phrasing is beautiful and enjoyable. I can see how this could be a very good read-to, it has the right message and easily memorable writing. The choice of a deer as the animal the boy wants to be is a good one. It's one of the animals with the most diverse symbolism some of the basics are harmony, happiness and innocence (phrased as being in touch with your inner child).

I would love to know who paired illustrator, Marta Maszkiewicz and Ember White. Marta's a perfect match style-wise for Ember's script. I adore her beautiful style it feels young and playful when it needs to and adds that moment of darkness when it is necessary. Her dark stormy moments with the purples and blues have the perfect depressing tone for Tommy's sadness. Storms have a rainbow-like background a nice touch. There is a scene where Tommy is looking at potential future careers (doctor, accountant, engineer), I love the choice Marta makes to give Tommy oversized clothes, a child playing dress up. Not just playing dress up but uncomfortable and awkward more than expected. Marta has done a fantastic job of aging Tommy up from his child self to his adult self to his true self. His true self is kinda in the middle in appearance, like he has shed the weight that he was carrying around as an adult that he has now shed. The dance/performance element is executed particularly well. I can sense the movement coming off the page and that outfit is lovely. The final illustration is just beautiful it is light and hopeful and innocent. Honestly, I can't praise the illustrations enough. I really want to find more of Marta Maszkiewicz's illustrations.

This is highly controversial and will remain so. It does what Ember wanted it to, it challenges the status quo and some people aren't ready for that. But some of us, librarians, parents and those outside the neurotypical, cishet sociocultural norms that are ready for it. The ending is unexpected but I really like that The Boy Who Wanted to be a Deer chooses to break the conventions that the children's publishing by giving the reader an unexpected ending of fulfilled dreams. I'm happy I read this and I think many others willing to look beyond the judgemental reviews probably will too.

Ember White is @emberwhite on here.

[doubledyke]

3, 7, 8, 11, 12, 14, 20, 21, 26, and 30 for Ed please!!

thanks for sending me these asks guys lol it's nice to have something to occupy my gay and stupid time

3. a song that reminds me of him: i realized that i forgot to put DG on my ed playlist and i could kick myself for that.

this song is what i imagine the inside of ed's head sounds like.

and then any primus song.

7. a quote of his that i remember: BRO i'm a fucking child and this one always stands out

also when jimmy is dressed as a bird and falls out of a tree and ed goes "awwww it is twitching.."

8. my favorite outfit of his: ed looks adorable in everything tbh

i always forget that s6 was a thing so i forgot to include his winter outfit on my tier list but it's an easy A. i love his collection of trapper hats lol.

11. what's the first thing i think about when i think of ed: hmm i guess our shared interest in all things grotesque and horror themed. i'm not super into the comics or movies myself, but i think ed would appreciate a good void meme and he'd for sure be a creepy pasta kid. the type of guy to have halloween decorations up all year. and i'm not talkin about kitschy little pumpkins and black cats. he is without hesitation dropping hundreds and more likely thousands of dollars on life size animatronics of regan macneil and the pale man from pan's labyrinth, etc.

12. sexuality hc: i can definitely see ed being aroace, but i also like to pair him with may because it's cute and fun. i don't think gender plays a role in his attraction to anyone. or anything?

14. best story line he had: rock-a-bye ed is kinda dark so i like that one. the day the ed stood still is really fun and funny. and of course little ed blue is a great episode.

20. a weird headcanon: i'm so annoying lol all i do is think and talk about these dorks and when someone asks a question i'm like "uhhhhhhhhhhhh"... idk it's not that weird for ed but i see him being a bit of a conspiracy theorist. like he might end up being a prepper later in life lmfao. ed as a flat earther? ed as a moon landing truther? idk if i'd go that far but it would be funny to see him and edd arguing about those things the same way they did about a chunk of cheese. edd would have to be put on oxygen afterwards.

21. when do i think he was at his happiest: probably in the day the ed stood still... and any time he gets to be around his friends. summer in general is probably the time that he's happiest because he doesn't have to worry about the oppressive institution that is public education.

26. when do i think he was being himself the most: .....the day the ed stood still?? haha. i don't think ed really hides who he is beyond refraining from kidnapping kids and sticking them to his wall with coagulated cereal and saliva most days. that's what makes him great, and different from the other eds. the very first time we meet ed, he's in his basement surrounded by filth, watching movies with a big doofy smile.

that's ed and he's precious.

30. funniest scene he had: it's hard to name an entire/specific scene. i tend to remember little snippets that make me laugh to myself when i think of them. i do get a kick out of the way that in so many scenes edd will be falling to pieces, eddy's getting curb stomped...and you look at ed in the background and without fail he's just standing there like 😀

[mejomonster]

Some of my favorite (recent-ish) Thai bl were:

Bad Buddy: if I'm going to recommend any coming of age romcom college set bl it's this one. The way it uses so many staple tropes in a fresh way, Ohm and Nanon are great actors and really bring a whole other level of energy, the actual conflict in the story is very realistic and heavy and a real topic I think a lot of young adults deal with regarding their families and expectations. So it's mostly romantic comedy, but the heavy moments resonate so that it doesn't really feel unrealistic. It's very high brightness overly kind of fantastical rather than real in presentation and tropes used (quite common in fluff bl like 2gether and My School President and Theory of Love etc), but the chemistry of the leads feels executed very realistically and again the actual delivery of tropes and conflicts feels very grounded in a way. Highly recommended to most peoples tastes tbh (and special mention to My School President, while it was a little Too fluffy for my tastes, it also did a balance of romcom and a grounded heart to the conflicts which I think is part of why it had such big appeal, along with really solid leads that are going to be bringing a lot to any project they work on in the future)

Never Let Me Go: THE action bl as of recently. Gave me everything I could ask, from the leads in The Gifted Graduation bringing their acting game with roles that let them truly show off what they can do, to a high body count of murders and action scenes, mafia sons falling in love with people oh so different from them, a batman esque lead, rich boy falls for poor bodyguard whipping boy trope but also Not quite because the show Really wants to comment on class issues and inequality and makes sure the audience gets the point (a core issue in the relationship is how to be equals given who they are), and a reference to the quote about soulmates that Xena Warrior Princess also uses. It also has Chimon. It's also aesthetically pleasing af. Idk what to tell you, I love when Jojo directs something and this Gave me WAY more than I thought I could get. I'm happy to say that in the post Not Me world we are seeing more action romance bls, not just romcom/fluff ones (though there's always plenty of those too). I personally am eagerly hoping this trend continues and we keep getting at least a few action romance bls a year like this one, Kinnporshe, Manner of Death, Not Me. I've started Laws of Attraction and that's looking similarly promising. (And while I highly recommend Not Me the series, one of my top shows PERIOD... I'm only listing newer shows than that right now).

The Eclipse: this show was exactly what I'd hope it would deliver, and more frankly (because I was hoping for at minimum the Blacklist quality and at max dream hopes The Gifted quality). Well it delivered closer to The Gifted. Politically heavy, really well done in that regard from the overt to the subtle, amazing entire ensemble cast (even the side actors are strong actors that have been in other things), Khaotung and First are both particularly amazing (Khaotung impresses me no matter what role he's given frankly). Aesthetically it's exactly what you'd hope if your hopes like mine were The Gifted but only real evil people no mutants, and explicitly gayer. If you perhaps are willing to have a high school setting, but very much do Not want fluff dominant story and instead a tense mystery with at least half the characters already out and proud queer people (but still some of the cute romance tropes executed a bit less fluffily) then this may be your jam.

Moonlight Chicken: if you'd like multigenerational queer stories, centering on a family slice of life realism piece, this show is <3. The second main pairing is the same actors from My School President and I think they really shine here where the romance relies less on tropes and the dialogue is more realistic so the intensity of scenes really leans on actors. I love their characters in this and they stole the show for me. The first main pairing is messy and adult, with adult problems (like actual ones not just romantic drama: like raising a nephew, running a store, working for a company that's destroying your lovers neighborhood). But also not actually that messy, I'd say in terms of messy it's for the most part wholesome and soft. If you liked 1000 Stars (I did) then this shows realistic slice of life feel will be comfortable and homey, and the amount of skinship in this show is less conservative for even more of a cozy natural feeling.

And the one I'm most anticipating coming out: Only Friends. Khaotung and First lead it, so I'm basically certain the main story will be absolute gold (since I eat up every role they play their acting is just <3 like dude I watched the Shipper for First okay and 5555 Never too Late for Khaotung which was an Amazing show btw). Now.. Only Friends is directed by Jojo (yay for me) and in theory it IS going to be as messy as it looks (and it looks at least as messy as Friendzone). So if Moonlight Chicken is too fluffy and tame for you, then you might want this show on your radar. I think it is slated for August but I'm not sure as I try not to get too hype for things until theyre out so I avoid most news.

[seoafin]

i agree with your statements on hotd!! I think around halfway through the first season I tried to fully separate it from the books. I personally find it goofy? for lack of better word. I feel if you think too deeply on it crrtain elements fall apart. How do you feel about the pacing also?? And how did you feel about rhaenyra choice to go back and talk to alicent?

! I also want to add about hotd, i feel the writers are sometimes terrible. Tw// miscarriage but I do know one of the writers said and I quote “she's desperate not to miss the most important moment of her life, so she just wills this thing out of her” and “Rhaenyra is somehow forcing the baby from her womb so she can then commit her attention to the unfolding political crisis" and “We found a way to turn it into something she does to herself".” which I just feel is so abhorrent to say

you know after all that talk about handling explicit scenes better in HOTD and the entire dialogue around the on-screen explicit sexual mistreatment of women in GOT they really got us! (not). yeah not a good look especially when paired with the continuous and very obvious olivia cooke hard-on softporn we got going on (she's gorgeous but i feel so bad for her 😭) honestly ive kinda stopped thinking about HOTD critically because the fanbase is so stupid and emotional for no reason. i keep on getting bad takes from BOTH sides who seem to think choosing the (wrong) (there is no wrong) side is akin to being a terrorist. genuinely blows my mind how invested people are in one side or another because both sides suck. it's like this weird brand of patriotic fervor complete with all the propagandizing behavior and whatnot. anyway i think rhaenyra is shown to be a rather impulsive character at times which aligns tbh. she and alicient should've kissed though. i think the pace is a little sudden but also i would've preferred a much slower paced. i hate when characters die in a fast paced show because it's never really done well.

[codename-adler]

[Haikyū!!] DIY Ask Game

doing this myself bc i'm anxious and making lists makes me feel safe. also bc sometimes you want to answer ask games so bad but nobody sends them...... eh.

First character you liked: Tanaka, my funny bald hype man. He still manages to have soft spot in my heart, to this day, and always. Truly underrated, imo.

Love @ first sight: Kenma (˃ᆺ˂) & Kuroo

First character you strongly disliked: ...Tsukishima

Hate @ first sight: ...Tsukishima

First favorite character: Kenmaaa 🫶

Favorite character now: still Kenma & Kuroo ofc 😭, but also Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Tendou, Kiyoomi, Atsumu (derogatory), Noya and Yaku my libero boyos

Character you strongly dislike now: Tsukki you are never escaping my hater ass i respects u fr fr bruh

Character you did not expect to like as much as you do now: Tendou!!! i was fr scared of him at first, and now he is baby

Character you did not expect to dislike as much as you do now: no one tbh, my hating game's been pretty consistent (lies. i could never hate any of them. none!), tho i have to say that i also don't really enjoy Yamaguchi's character come to think of it... got mads respect for Gucci

First pairing you shipped: Kuroken <3

Favorite ship now: Sakuatsu, Iwaoi, and Kuroken still (+ Brokuroo them morons are life)

Other ship(s) you read fics about / like: Ushiten, Semiten, Kurodai, Bokuosa, Kagehina

Pairing(s) you strongly dislike: well anything Tsukki really... but especially, especially Kurotsuki (Tsukiyama's fine tho) oh and Ushihina & Sakuwaka & Atsuhina.

Crackship you like: Matsuhana let's gooo! also Aone x Asahi is cute

Rarepair/Crackship you like but are lowkey very serious about: Osamu x Meian, Bokuatsu

Favorite m/f pairing: there's only really Kiyotana, but damn do they deliver

Character you think you are most like: this has been a plague on my mind ever since my first watch. nowadays i think i would say Asahi? or Fukunaga. subject to change. hold on—I might be Makki actually o_o

Favorite female character: not a lot there to begin with, but i do appreciate Saeko and Natsu

Sexiest character: IWA-CHAN, Kiyoomi, Kuroo, Atsumu (derogatory), Oikawa (derogatory), Suna

Favorite uniform/outfit: Karasuno boys for the school uniform - Aoba Johsai in close second and for the girls too - MSBY for volleyball as well as Nekoma 😍 and Seijoh || fav outfit that got me down bad is, like all of us mere mortals, Iwa in his hoodie & jean jacket casual combo

Favorite position 😏: Libero!! Yaku and Noya take my breath away every time, but it’s also the role i’d want to play if i were part of a volley team! i think i’d do ok (lmao)

Favorite character name: Iwaizumi Hajime

Favorite motto: 飛べ Fly (Karasuno)

Favorite quote(s): "Don't you ever forget my worthless pride." - Oikawa Tooru to Ushijima *CHILLS*

Favorite scene/episode: Uhhhh too many why did i put myself inthis position. Training Camp obviously!!! but also the Shiratorizawa match arc, for the Tendou content 🔥 and i can't not mention the Seijoh matches for the Iwaoi content and the Matsuhana crumbs.

Unpopular opinion: *sigh* this will get me killed–i do not care for Akaashi. i wish i understood him more, got to see more of what’s underneath. i love Bokuto, and i'm sorry babe, but his character and physique are really just average to me. and i've already got the Tsukki kinners and lovers on my case, so yeah, i'll be dead by sundown. while i’m at it, same goes for Kita-san. i’m sorry!! always mad respect tho 👍

Favorite fic(s): Stick with You (Sakuatsu) by lettersinpetals without a fuckin' doubt. Also i'll mention the latest 2 fics i read, Lockdown and The Loyalty of a Traitor (both Iwaoi) by DeathBelle because they are a pillar of the HQ fics community and their shit hits every goddamn time and it hurts so gooddddd 🤌

Favorite art: @amezure @fullwarmth @iinoruu @amalasdraws @viria @dictearchive @mookie000art @cranbearly (soodyo) and so many more that i can't remember off the top of my head but i thank you all for your dedicated work and creativity to the fandom 🫡😩🧡 oh and special love to @gayaest for their paravolley AU art <3

Character(s) you like to write/draw the most: have done neither officially yet, but i do have a Sakuatsu x Grey's Anatomy WIP, so i guess them?

Pairing(s) you like to write/draw the most: ^^

Favorite AU(s): Post-Time Skip, College AU, Mafia/Yakuza/Detective/FBI/Police AU (ik, ew & ACAB, but somehow for hq this one hits)

Guilty pleasure?: BokuAkaKuroKen - TikTok skits & memes & dance animations - my Sakuatsu MCD wip ^^

Favorite Opening: oh god... there's only 1 i don't like (u know the one)... i HAVE to say before i answer, this anime's intros are hits after hits after hits, and they hold such a precious and nostalgic feeling in my heart 😭 ok i'm allowing myself two: Imagination (S1PT1, SPY AIR) & FLY HIGH!! (S2PT2, BURNOUT SYNDROMES). honorable mention to the few first seconds of Hikariare 🫶

Favorite Ending: Tenshi Gaechi (S1PT1, NICO Touches the Walls)

Favorite team: Canonically, Nekoma and MSBY. Fanonically, Seijoh, MSBY still, and Shiratorizawa. (obv my heart always soars when Karasuno wins bc that's the way the story is supposed to make you feel! but i love them dearly so.)

Team you dislike the most: none? i'm not fond of Date Tech, but i appreciate Aone, and none of the teams are villains, just antagonists from the Karasuno pov.

And for the finale, Favorite meme(s): god so many this fandom has the best

obviously there are many more questions i wanted to fill in but this was getting too long and it's already OOC for my blog, but i encourage all of you to fill my asks inbox with anything you wanna know about my haikyuu fan experience!! 🫶🏐

i'll be filling in this lil questionnaire for other of my fandoms, and feel free to use the template and reblog with your responses!! 🤍

[borom1r]

Tolkien Tag Game

I was tagged by @nihilizzzm !! tyyyyyy!!!!

How old were you when you read/watched LOTR for the first time? lmao oh man there’s lore here. so when I was like 8 at the end of 3rd grade (skipped a grade so I was a Baby) I finished all my work early and got to just read in class, and I decided “you know what sounds like a bit of fun end of year reading? The Hobbit!” — I was. Wrong. I saw the movies sometime in middle school but didn’t pick up the books until probably sophomore year of high school?? literally just bc of that bad experience w/ the Hobbit lmao. (having finally read the Hobbit, I am now neutral towards the book)

Favourite lotr character? *gestures wildly at my url* it’s Boromir. used to undeniably be Merry and Pippin but now I have matured and it is. just.

no coherent thoughts shaking him around like a squeaky toy

Books or films? seconding the stance of both. They both have different qualities + are incredibly moving pieces of art!! I absolutely think it’s worth experiencing both anyways + am a firm believer in actually reading the books if you’ve only ever seen the movies, but like.. a lot of the things ppl have problems with abt the movies I don’t really care about?? they’re movies. they gave Faramir an arc that *mirrors Boromir’s* and keeps tension for the audience, etc etc. exposing myself as a movie!Faramir defender ig

Favourite movie: probably Fellowship?? just because of Boromir????? maybe???? gods don’t make me pick one lmao. Two Towers also introduces Rohan which I have so many feelings about

Which location in Middle Earth do you want to visit most? EDORAS. OOOOOOOOO I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT ROHAN!!!!!! As a German Major, And Someone Interested In Viking Historical Recreation, And a Practicing Heathen. ooooooooooooooo I have THOUGHTS

Favourite scene: Boromir teaching Merry and Pippin to spar or the deleted scene with Boromir and Faramir in Osgiliath 🩵

Favourite quote: literally translated it into Sindarin for funsies— Boromir’s “have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets?” line

Which middle earth race would you like to be? Beorning :) I would say werewolf but they’re like canonically all fucking evil so I’ll take turning into a bear, sure 👍🏻

Favourite lotr ship: Aragorn/Boromir is *chefs kiss* Everything To Me but also like. big fan of Faramir/Éomer. ik I paired Éowyn and Lothíriel in my ren fest au but I do think Éowyn deserves to live her life as an unwed shieldmaiden with the Riders of the Mark for as long as she’d like?? queen shit tbh. and Faramir loml has some shit to work through re “taming” before I can get fully on board w/ canon Éowyn/Faramir

tagging: anyone who sees + wants to do this can say I tagged them!! ^_^

[27emailsicantsend]

for the hsmtmts ask, jet!

**I started this project pre-season 4, so all answers are for season 3 and earlier**

Favorite thing about them: Honestly I love how much of a menace he was. He would be brooding at trees or calling ricky out with no remorse and it was the funniest thing ever (let's be real ricky deserved the gina lashings lmao). But then we get these two second glances of him being soft- especially with ricky- that really reflect the kristoff/sven dynamic and it just made Jet have a special place in your heart. I love characters like that: the hard shell but there is still good somewhere deep down that is shown in fragments (draco malfoy, anyone?)

Least favorite thing about them: I know it's not Jet's fault totally for outting Maddox, but I still don't love that he said something about her dating someone in the first place. Yes, they started to grow apart seemingly before this, but there is this trust they had established and Jet doing that because he was mad at his parents (and couldn't get his way) was low.

Favorite line(s):

(this is technically Kourtney but the line delivery and Jet's expression k*lled me) "he's staring at a tree, right?"

*Jet dissociating on the bunk bed while Carlos and Ricky talk openly about him*

"Basically, I, like, raised myself on YouTube" (I love this because Ricky had this connection to Jet and I can't help but wonder if this kind of reminded him of Gina)

"Are you actually this upset that I took off or is really about Gina?"

Jet: "Right. You guy are 'friends'" Ricky: "I can hear the air quotes" Jet: "Good"

Ricky: "Dude, what are you doing with your voice?" Jet: "I don't know, but it hurts"

Ricky: "I just can't believe I let Color War slip through my fingers" Jet: "you mean Gina?"

"I'm in love with the girl playing Elsa and it's eating me alive"

OTP: Jetney! 💛 (and yes because of color war their color is yellow in my head)

nOTP: Carlos’ imaginary pairing of jet and maddox (again… yikes)

brOTP: Jet and Ricky! I mentioned this earlier, but I love the fact that they resemble kristoff/sven's dynamic. The reindeer who knows too much and calls out kristoff's crap when kristoff is in denial? The reindeer who is a little aloof but tags along everywhere kristoff goes? They're perfect :')

Something I expect from them season 4 (if applicable): Before s4 came out, I fully anticipated Jet to be like Zeke... fawning over Kourtney (Sharpay). Like we did get some moments of him making a total fool of himself, but I really thought we were going to get that multiplied by 3. I was also hoping for at least a Jetney cheek kiss (tbh I thought they would kiss and Madlyn wouldn't), but they were just slower moving than the rest of the couples in the show. However, when all was said and done, I was still really happy with the content we got!

Random Headcanon: In my mind Jetney, Rina, and Madlyn go on triple dates all the time. They found a way to spend a lot of time together before Kourtney and Ricky graduated, but after graduation, Jet flies out to visit Kourtney frequently (and vice-versa).

Unpopular Opinion: Oof... this one is definitely unpopular. I guess it's an old unpopular opinion since it was technically before s4, but I remember not really caring if Jet and Maddox came back for s4. 😬 I know a lot of people liked them and wanted them back super badly, but I was neutral. I was happy if they came back but wasn't heartbroken if they didn't. Tim tried to keep it a surprise but the last scene in s3 made it obvious they were coming back. Once I started writing with them in my fics I was a lot more excited to have them back but I definitely wasn't emotionally tied to them when the season ended.

Song I associate with them: "I'm Still Standing"... but the version from Sing. I already said this once and I am so sorry for this, but Jet singing "Right Place" reminds me so much of Johnny at the piano. I really think it's the leather jacket idk. 😭 (the funny part is EJ's name is Elton John and Elton John is one of the singers in the og "I'm Still Standing")

Favorite picture of them:

Side note: has anyone decided wtf his and Maddox's last names are?!?

[puppy-phum]

So I thought maybe Taylor Swift’s red with PuenTaylay since their colors are blue lol. Idk. I honestly can’t think of a good quote. If you think of one and tag me that works too 😂 I just want to see JimmySea on my dash again 😍 I miss them already

hello deanna ♥

i am somehow so very grateful for this prompt :'D it was delightfully vague despite being so straight to the point, and this is why i decided to both follow it and not follow it at all.

here's the result

everyone keeps telling me puentalay are taylor swift coded but i've never really listened to taylor swift that much (i don't really count the radio hits i was subjected to throughout my life). so this was my excuse to finally get into her music! mostly through jessi's @patprans amazing vv edit from a while ago. i went through that whole list of songs in it and i have to say it was a journey.

from it, this love stuck with me the hardest. tbh i cry with it now if i listen to it bc it feels so right for these two. so thank you to you both for opening my eyes, i suppose XD not that i ever really was against any of this, i just didn't have the right motivator before. now i had that and the time. it was fun ♥

and don't worry, i also looked into red! i do know that song haha, i haven't grown up under a rock after all. but i had to look at the lyrics properly and i do get where you're coming from with this prompt. i can feel puentalay there, especially bc of the colors. which i wanted to hold onto even when i abandoned the song itself!

so there's blue, as their beginning and ending. there's black and gray for the missing part, for the loss and grief and longing. and then there's red towards the end for the love! which. truly if loving puen is red am going insane for a little bit. we have had the convos about puen and red, am not digging into that again.

i just hope you like this! and thank you so much for joining in and always talking with me even when our tastes are very different ^^ i appreciate it a lot! have a wonderful rest of your week ♥

(some more rambles under the cut!)

i really love the way this song starts and how it seems to tell the whole puentalay journey in just, what is that, one verse? well, you know. in just a few lines we've come from their starting point to the inevitable tragedy of them having to separate, and then we've come to their reunion and persevering love.

so the edit tries to interpret all that. the first pic is about the water (which i've been thinking about so much and am going insane about it currently, there's so much Water!!), about how talay gets swept into this other universe and how he finds puen. which. i hope you get it that this is also about that glass house scene in ep 4 where talay runs through the rain to get to puen again. that's important. that's puen's tide - that rain.

and then there's a bit of fluff there. about the things they could go on and on about. about these moments where they find each other. about these moments where they... idk. are just lovely and in love. i wanted to show that.

bc i needed that before we hit the angst town! skies grow darker? currents come and sweep you away again? yeah, so true. puentalay literally just get together and then they're fighting which leads them to the secret island. which then, kind of, steals puen from talay a bit later. I tried to show all that too.

and then it's just. episode 11 part 1/4 heartbreak hours. that part is legendary and i love the angst so much even if watching it feels every time like someone is trying to carve my heart out with a plastic knife. but this line in the lyrics!!! it was just so perfect. gosh. (paired with the "and this love came back to me" like CMON i could make another edit only for that)

this then leads to the pink and the red. bc next we see what they had, what good things they got. the "silent screams" are, for me, about talay. about how he's saying he doesn't do love, doesn't really think about it, but still ends up seeking it. and idk, the dusty heart thing always gets to me. that's kind of his silent scream; talking about the love he does not want to the guy who wants nothing else but them to fall in love. how ironic.

puen got the "wildest dreams" then bc damn, that man has so many Wild Dreams. i didn't want to include the popcorn eating in this bc that would've made this edit cracky imo, so there's now just puen intensely staring at talay. this man is up to no good. his fantasies are horrible yet so, so cute. am so happy he actually got to finally live his popcorn fantasy XD what a doofus.

and then finally! all the things they never even dreamed about! aka everything in the our skyy eps. all of that was so good and domestic i bet they never thought they would have something like that. so that was for the last one. am kind of happy this took so long to make so i got those eps before this ♥ they're such a joy.

idk how much sense any of this makes bc it's 2am and my brain is fried but i just had to get all of this out. thank you once more for giving me this chance ^^ ♥

[lostacelonnie]

Can i hear 5 and 25 salt for honky pls 🙏🙏

HII OF COURSE.... i love complaining ab my fav things

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

KAY SO. HONESTLY. not really quite ruined a pairing bc i still do enjoy it but i deeeeeefinitely started preferring other ships over kiamei bc of some fans. NOW DONT GET ME WRONG the majority of kiamei fans are so sweet but theres this Specific type of them that just start bitching whenever they see someone ship kiana or mei with anyone else even if they do not follow, are friends with, or in any way engage with the person in question. LIKE GO AWAY LEAVE ME ALONEEEE

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

now. its been said a million times and i will say it again. I HATE MOON ARC. I THINK ITS SO BAD. i cannot bring myself to truly dislike elysium everlasting bc i am EXTRAORDINARILY insane ab the flamechasers, and i. really do think it wasnt AS bad as some ppl say. like yes i absolutely agree that elysias character was Not Great in ee, that it impacted the following arc [and thats not a good thing], and generally was uuueueueghgh but i also kinda enjoyed it tbh. it had fun parts!!! yeah it was rushed and confusing and often lacked subtlety when fleshing out some of the characters [KALPAS'S DEATH SCENE. CMON. I LIKE HAVING LORE BUT NOT BEING SPOONFED IT] but at the end of the day i think it was. okay. BUT MOON ARC?? MOON ARC WAS SO BAD. NOBODY WAS WRITTEN CONSISTENTLY. NOTHING MADE SENSE. THE OPEN WORLD WAS SOMEHOW EVEN MORE BROKEN THAN EE. DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE INCLUSION OF LAMBDA AND PLAYERS?? FOR SOME REASON??? of course im not trying to push all the blame onto the writers bc i understand they were overworked and rushed to get the ending out but ahhhh. mihoyo. why. i DID like the ending of "on the name of the world" tho. bronyas transformation and her quote ab how at the end of the day, all herrschers are just people is one of the only things i remember positively. but thats enough hating 😊 salt snow arc is good so i forgive them

[detroitbecomeonline]

Things that *got* me in my first DBH playthrough

1. In the hostage chapter, when Connor takes a hold of the family photo and scans it. His face and demeanour. Amazing.

2. Connor getting shot in the arm and looking up with no expression asjhdjiajkd

3. Connor WALKING AWAY EMOTIONLESS from the girl he just saved.

4. When I walked into Carl’s studio for the first time I teared up at the visual. The curtains opening up were so beautiful.

5. When Alice gets struck by Todd. (Actually, this was a negative Got but I’m adding it to the list.)

6. When Markus didn’t rip out the heart of the woman android in the Veta pit and he does a little defeated fist on her chest as he stands.

7. THE AUDIO PROCESSOR AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I almost CRIED when Markus got his hearing back. It was amazing.

8. The hero shot of Markus standing up in the rain and looking down. Absolutely epic. Kinda slutty but also badass

9. When Markus arrives in Jericho and he has to shake the torch active. I had to shake my mouse whilst holding both clicks, but it felt like I was actually shaking the torch.

10. Similarly, when Markus was in battle at the end of the game, I was fighting a bunch of humans and stuff and the controls were all different, but then I had to kill someone and I kept having to hit A. A. A! A! And it really felt like I was smackin the person down. Just the shift from random keys to a repeating key was brutal.

11. I messed up Kara’s escape from Connor so I chased her across the highway. I LOVED IT ALL. Connor sliding across the hood of a car Got me, as well as Kara yanking Alice back and forth. I was screaming across the highway. (I was streaming my playthrough so---) And then Connor hissing, “Shit.”

12. This quote Got me: “Why did they make you look so goofy and give you that weird voice?” (I didn’t like Hank before this point, but when I heard that, I immediately forgave him because what a PISSER of a line) 13. And then this topped it off: “Well, they fucked up.” (CACKLING, GET ROASTED CONNOR)

14. The scene before the main events of Freedom March where Markus is at the outlook. And there’s a piano. I cried so hard. I played the piano at Carl’s when I started and I thought it was a beautiful throwback.

15. Any time I looked in a mirror as any character. Threw me into a crisis.

16. The emotionless, no-grunting, fighting between my Connor and fake Connor Got me.

17. Wading through the blizzard as Connor at the end of the game Got me.

18. I crossed the river as Kara, but when the control boats started shooting, I knew what would happen if I hid. I hid anyway. I knew it. I think I just knew the trope or storytelling pattern or something, but it was the choice that Got me, not the aftermath.

19. Markus climbing Stratford tower Got me, especially with RISE displayed on the major screen paired with the epic music. UGH yes

20. When Connor fought the red haired Traci and her high heel clacks on the ground when she swing over him. It’s the camera angle and sound. Another trope I think, but I was VIBING hard

21. Connor fighting the two Tracis at once. That was so intense for me. I was like oh SHIT he’s FIGHTING TWO ANDROIDS. He’s one android. I’m thinking at the time damn boy if you were all deskinned you would all be pretty much the same and he’s fighting TWO. And they SLAM him into the wall??? I was Got

22. Also when Connor is fighting red haired Traci and she marches towards him. Camera angle & facial expression. Amazing

23. Connor running for the first time when I’m chasing Kara>>>

24. Markus in the WM400 uniform HOH

25. “You look lost” and then reveal the WR600 HOH sorry but I was stunned---he is My Type of Appearance and his disposition/behaviour---okok, my crush. (Because I was streaming this I also have my voice captured in real-time being weak HAHAHAHA)

26. “Holy shit,” says Hank as AN AMAZING SOUNDTRACK IS PLAYING AND CONNOR IS ON THE TRAIN TOP CHASING AFTER THE DEVIANT AND SNAPS HIS ATTENTION UP---

27. Literally the whole chase in The Nest tbh

28. The Hank and Connor hug at the end

29. The android who was tied to the back of a car because his humans “just wanted to have some fun” Got me

30. The music in The Interrogation

31. Also Connor creeping around in the attic Got me, but only when he ducked a certain way

32. TWENTY-EIGHT STAB WOUNDS

34. The “CONNOR! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” interaction

35. Slapping Hank awake

36. Hank immediately sobering up in the bathtub and being like “What the fuck are you doing here?”

37. Connor teasing Hank about the Eden Club case also Got me

38. When Kara checks the dryer for clothes in the laundromat.

39. “Will we be together forever?” - “Forever.” Not even another option. Got. (I stayed in the car overnight.) And I quote myself from my recording: “...Well, I’ll be together with Alice for as long as she lives. I’m not sticking around a grave when she’s ninety somethin’ years old.”

40. “We’ll be together forever, won’t we Kara?” - Alice in Jericho after I found out she’s an android. MEGA Got, because of my mindset above ^. And I was like oh man yeah forever ;__;;

41. Chloe asking to leave. And I let her.

42. Chloe asking me not to continue, to just leave things as they are for the sake of peace. I accepted, but then I continued after waiting a little bit.

43. The first time I was parkouring with Markus was really noice.

44. In The Nest when Hank is at that stand-up table and the burger guy is like “Don’t leave that thing here” and Hank’s like “Don’t worry it follows me everywhere” and Connor has to walk over to him and on the way there and Hank says “See?” That REALLY Got me.

45. Also in The Nest, when Connor says something along the lines of “Maybe we should go take a look...” and his eyes drift to the side, then snap back onto Hank.

46. In Zlatko’s house when I’m regaining my memory after failing to escape the machine, the corrupted memory I thought was just random letters but after about 4 pieces of info they started to look like words, and that Got me.

47. This wasn’t a Got moment but in ‘Russian Roulette’ I didn’t see the gun until it was my last clue to scan and I was Shook.

47. When I got to choose Hank’s clothes.

48. When I stroke down with my mouse so Markus can take out the circle of glass he cut out from the window in Stratford Tower.

49. The moment before we smash into the CyberLife store, Markus is sitting in the truck and I have to press W. That camera angle switch from W to YEEEEE is amazing.

50. When we approach the crowd as Markus and the crowd splits revealing the kneeling cops. The dead bodies on the way there Got me.

51. “CyberLife’s last chance to save humanity... is itself a deviant.” “I’m... I’m not a deviant.” HOHHHHHHHHHHH

52. The option unlocking for Connor to become deviant.

53. Then Connor starting to tear down his walls. & the soundtrack paired with this moment.

54. Then [ I AM DEVIANT ]

Bonus: I distinctly remember very clearly thinking “oh great another sci-fi game with an average-looking white guy as the protagonist” and I have never been so wrong. The switch of opinion happened so fast. From the elevator to picking up the photo frame was like OOP---

[surrealsunday]

helloo! wow it’s been a little while ngl! but when when chap10 was posted i was like “do i read it now or wait till the epilogue is posted? 🤔” and i ended up waiting for the epilogue, idk in my head it’s as logic sjsbdb. meanwhile i decided to rewatch stranger things + skamfr kinda at the same time bc it’s been way too long (for the latter). then the epilogue was posted and haven’t found the time or energy to settle and read the last two chapters (we love uni for that). till tonight!! so here’s my not so little review of the chap10 + the epilogue 😅

-> chap10

woaaah im at loss for words for how cute and beautiful that chapter was omg! the vulnerable moment right after the intensity of their love scene hit me right in the feels, lucas’ “please don’t hurt me (again)” and then eliott hugging him tight saying “i promise” 🥺MY HEART🥺

also these little acts had me giggling and kicking my feet

gosh i’m just so giddy when it comes to them like- THEY. ARE. IN. LOVE. 🥹

OH YEAH the moment when idriss came back home and said “I swear, if you fucked in the kitchen, Eliott -" made me think of that one scene in tempo (i think) when he discovers they did it on the counter and there was like evidences or sth and i just burst out laughing 😭 like i imagined him being so done already with them (/affectionate of course)

-> epilogue

MY HEEAART!! i know i’ve said it like a million times already but i’m so soft for theeem 🥺

i really loved how eliott reassured lucas during the moving, how they once more opened a little to one another. then lucas asking him to say something true abt himself, eliott’s little story was very cute despite starting kinda sad :(( but that little parallel to the minute par minute scene but this time it’s eliott calming lucas down ☹️

but goosh i’m in love with their love, in every universe istg 🥰 like i smiled SO BIG here!

now real thing: i cant believe it’s over now :/ i’m gonna miss them so much, these version of elu is definitely one of my favorite! i wanna thank you for writing this fic that, i’m sure, helped a lot of people (including me) escape their boring ass work/uni life ahah. every time it truly has been an amazing time, even when pain was dominent sometimes. but as always i’d say sjsbsb

wishing you a wonderful friday and weekend, i’m gonna spend mine mourning elu!10things and thinking of how much their love is incredible in every universe 😭💞

gosh i just realized i forgot about to say some more things in my previous message 😭 in my defense it’s 1am so- anyways

i’m also very thankful you listened to the little voice in your brain and wrote that little epilogue, the quote of kat is one of my favorite and it’s really well included! would have been such a waste not having lucas saying this tbh.

also the last pic of chap10, eliott’s post with the shadows…wow i literally stared at it for 10 good minutes it was so well done! especially lucas’ wild hair sbsjsb (also i see you have been generous for some parts 👀)

finally, i thanked you for the fic but i also wanna be grateful to your friend julie for pressing you making this fic alive ahah, bc yeah your elu fic are really one of the most emotionally amazing and still being able to read elu content in, now, 2023 is truly incredible ♥️

Oh my gosh I somehow completely missed the notification for these messages in my inbox. I'm so sorry! I was not ignoring you, I just am a useless human 😂

As always I absolutely love hearing your thoughts. I'm so glad you liked chapter 10 🥹. It was interesting pairing smexy times with some super raw emotional nakedness. I liked it tho. It felt right and natural in the moment.

Your memes btw aldfkjalsdfkja. They kill me 😂😂😂

I thought about Idriss in Tempo too at that moment! I truly don't know why I keep doing these things to poor Idriss lmao. But I make it up to him with Manon. So I don't feel too bad 😌.

Ok, so I very much got minute-by-minute vibes in that moment of the epilogue too, but it wasn't pre-planned that way. I kinda love that you had the same reaction. It just sort of happened and as I was writing it occurred to me that it very subtly nodded to that classic Skam moment. It seems they're determined to be that way in every universe.

Ahhhh the shadow pic! It's one of my faves! I get obsessive about most things (this is not news lmao) so it wasn't surprising that I obsessed over getting those shadows right, but in the end when it did look like them I was sooooo satisfied. And yes, satisfied with the very lovely booty on Lucas too 😌. It makes me so happy you liked it too!

Really it was my absolute pleasure to share this fic, most especially because I seriously do have the best readers in the world, and you all are so generous in leaving me your thoughts and feelings about the story (there is really nothing better than that as a writer). It's a big part of me coming back to Elu over and over, I think. I love reconnecting with all of you. And of course I'm more than happy to provide distraction from real life!

P.S. I told Julie what you said and lemme tell you... the way she got all proud and puffed up on herself 😂😂😂. I told her to take it down a notch but she's already kicking into high gear on harassing me for new stories lol.

Anyways, all the love to you. Thank you again so much for sending me your thoughts as you read the story. 💖💗💞💝