#and i realized how opposite that seems (and is; to some extent) while thinking about this

[dewyatt]

I agree with just about everything here with a caveat or two. This was an AMAZING issue, and beautifully addressed the lingering problems between Laura and Julian. From Laura being a shitty friend, to her pedestalling Julian yet acknowledging just HOW IMPORTANT he was to her development as a person. I would have liked a little about how Laura brought out Julian's best qualities — he absolutely became less of a generic asshole under her influence before Liu trashed him — but honestly I think we SEE that happen in the present with her change of tactics and by appealing to the good person he truly is. Like she says: She's reaching out to the REAL Julian. In fact, this was something I was expecting as soon as we learned Julian had apparently turned Heel.

I do wonder if Julian was TRYING to stay mad at and hate her. He was absolutely trying to push her buttons in their first talk. But then he's practically screaming at her to attack him in the second. Did he want her to kill him? Did he want her to attack him as an excuse to fight back because he doesn't really want to hurt her?

Hivemind seems to be retconning the extent of their relationship when Laura talks about how kissing him silenced the accusing voices in her head. Rather than just dancing around each other, with Laura confused and unable to comprehend how she felt about him, and Julian probably to scaroused to actually push her, (at least until Liu wanted to throw him under a bus) there now actually WAS something actively happening between them we just didn't see.

Which just makes Laura rejecting him in the Liu book look even WORSE.

However, as for the caveat, I didn't come away with an impression that Laura and Kiden is a certainty. In fact, the book seemed to imply the OPPOSITE. While Laura seemed to accept Kiden's confession, she gave no indication that she actually reciprocated. I think it's significant that their talk is what helped Laura realize how she needed to approach Julian, and pushes her CLOSER to him.

And I think Kiden realizes that. If you look at the inset of her expression when Laura and Julian come out of the transport at the end, there's a bit of jealousy, but she also looks visibly saddened. Like, "I love you, but you can't see me that way" sort of melancholy. It's still a love triangle, but on Kiden's part I think it's going to be rather one-sided.

I'm also convinced that if anyone goes down in #10, it's going to be KIDEN.

Narratively, I could see Julian intending to make a sacrifice play to stop Mojo, but Kiden steps in before he can to save Laura the pain of losing him. Or simply to protect Laura if SHE tries to do it.

However, it's also a practical matter:

Kiden is a character with potential story breaking power. We've seen her snap an arm like a twig with just a light poke while in one of her time bubbles. IIRC we've never seen what she'd do to someone if she hauled off on them at full strength in that state, but I imagine anyone so unfortunate bursting like an overripe melon. This could potentially even affect some of the heavyweights. But also, simply the fact her ability to freeze time around her — and remember, the original NYX shows that she can do this INDEFINITELY, so it's not like it wears off. She's in the bubble for as long as she wants to be — would basically trivialize a LOT of threats. There's not going to be a lot of adversaries that Kiden couldn't deal with by hopping into a time bubble, ESPECIALLY since she can bring others into the bubble with her. Or what if she can TRAP them in a bubble, effectively removing them from time?

She's simply too potentially powerful to live.

NYX #8 Review

*Spoilers!!- it’s finally here guys!!!*

———————————————————————

The issue starts with the Preview that I’ve probably shared like five times- Hellion remembering Krakoa and wanting to be free.

The guards are asking him about the bodies (this’ll be important later!) when Laura’s rescue team arrives…

Sophie enters his thoughts/psychically invades his mind …(It’s a nice call back to Jean entering Emma’s mind after the affair, in Morrison!) 

Honestly the whole scene is lovely and wonderfully done! Julian lecturing a dead and recently returned Sophie that life is pain is a really nice choice! This whole scene was really carefully done and I applaud Jackson Lanzing and Collin Kelly fully for it- this is why people read and love X-Men! 

Sophie realizes Manuel ISN’T controlling Hellion and can’t find the information they need.

Laura then tells Julian “SO you want to be a supervillain…” (someone is going to electrocute themselves with all those sparks from the crash btw!) and decidedly takes a more brutal approach instead of telepathy. (So basically foreplay… just LOOK at his smile 🤣🤣🤣)

Julian calls her bluff, saying that Laura doesn’t kill anymore. (It’s a good thing he didn’t try this during the KYOST years… there IS a chance she would have stabbed him😳🤣)

Sophie threatens to leave him to Graymalkin and Julian rightly says “that’s not very X-Men-y”…. Which is kind of true. (I really need to invest in “Hellion IS RIGHT” t-shirts!)

Laura finally gets fed up and threatens to just take his hands again! (that’s a REALLY LOW BLOW Laura to someone just got their hands back!… just kidding, Julian LOVES it… just look at his grin!) 

Julian says what pretty much EVERYONE has been saying for YEARS- Laura is a crappy friend. (BINGO!! 🤣)

Laura responds to this epiphany by tearing up an entire forest. 

Kiden basically does the  “what did you even see in him” (I mean… there WAS short shorts Kiden… 🩳).

Laura finally admits she was in love with Julian and that Hellion was the first one that was truly there for her. Again, this is really nicely done- this issue is as much Laura’s as it is Hellion’s, in that we finally see Laura facing how much she’s changed and grown since her “X-23” days. 

As much as Laura dwells on how “different” she is from everyone else…”Pinocchio instead of a real boy”… you see the harsh truth that everyone must eventually face, the truth of time- that we often have completely changed from who we were during our first innocent “love”.  That we all are forced to change from who we were… often several times in life…

(Also… when did they kiss besides in Liu…I really HOPE it wasn’t when Julian was sleeping?? Oh god!) 

Laura admits she idealized him- she made a version of Julian in her head that isn’t completely him.

Kiden admits she used to watch Laura sleep too… that Kiden ALSO “made a version of Laura in her head” and that their dynamic has changed to time as well… (also everyone is apparently watching each other sleep now…)

During her conversation with Kiden, Laura realizes she needs to treat Julian like a person…like a friend.

That Julian has trials and tribulations too… he isn’t some “perfect person or violent monster”, but an individual that has his own set of issues…that Laura isn’t the only person caging herself. Caging her pain.

Julian of course blows up with this change in their little têtê a têtê… saying that he’s tired of people dying. That they should be angry over everything they have suffered and it’s the human faults.

Laura tells him that the reality is he gave up his hands to save people (and when put Karima in a coma! Laura didn’t mention that, but I will add it in…); that ultimately he is still a hero.

Laura calls Julian’s bluff- the reason no one can find the bodies is because he didn’t kill anyone (well at least not any politicians… maybe people on Subway… but we’re going to ignore all that…)

The issue ends with Julian remembering the “Crucible”, knowing that the return of his hands won’t truly fix the pain. That Julian has to do that himself.

There’s also a hint at Xavier… but no one really cares about that.

Review:

First of all… some housekeeping…I will now not be changing this blog to literary and film rants … so you can all breathe a sigh of relief that I will not be posting long winded think- pieces, such as “Is Mr. Thornton from “North and South” better than Mr. Darcy?”… (Spoiler- He is.) 

This issue is wonderfully done- I know I have been critical of NYX… but this is one of the best issues of X-Men that I have seen in a while (and I am not just saying this because Hellion is my favorite!).

It was just nicely thought out- start to finish. 

WHEN people ask me- “Why do you like X-Men?”… this right here, is the answer.

It’s not the messy “mutant metaphor”. Or the action scenes. Or the “Xavier Institute”. Or the “cool island”. Or the “ big speeches about Phoenix destroying the planet”…

It’s the characters. It’s the heart.

I really appreciate Jackson Lanzing and Collin Kelly remembering that and taking the time to consider the characters- to consider the story… because this has been what has been missing from X-Men.

This was just a GREAT issue, start to finish! 

It considered all the point of views from each character. It took the time to tell the story. It considered prior canon. 

The art was beautiful. I especially loved the “back and forth” cat and mouse between Laura and Julian and the representation of their dynamic and tension.

Theories:

It’s obviously going to be “Kiden and Laura” as endgame… but I’m honestly okay with that. 

I am just happy that after fourteen years, “Misadventures in Babysitting” and the KYOST friendship with Laura and Hellion was finally addressed and how Julian was represented- not as an unredeemable and abuser… not as perfect… but a person… 

Julian has made peace with Wind Dancer in “X-Factor” and now Laura in “NYX”… things are truly looking up for Hellion…

Which probably means he will die soon (I’m just kidding, I swear!! 🤣) 

Sigh- I really don’t care about the Xavier issue. The only version of Xavier I have ever actually liked is the “Patrick Stewart/James McAvoy one”. 😐

Kamala isn’t going to be happy. Julian is probably going to be rearrested and Bilal will try to kill him.

But Julian got his moment in the sun guys! 

Bonus:

Let’s SEE how I did…

I almost checked off “Laura steps on his face” because the arm thing was kind of close… but “Hiketeia” it is not…

Kind of wish I had “Laura uses her foot claws” on there (DID NOT see that coming 🤣🤣🥵😭)

Julian DIDN’T actually cry, that I saw… but Kiden WAS jelly (never bring up NIN when trying to hit on someone Kiden… doesn’t work 😔)

Came really close to a bingo… but I’m way happier it WASN’T “Misadventure 2.0” ����🤣🤣

[cl0udy3]

Shinjiro aragaki X reader slow burn, reader fell first but shinjiro fell harder

𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆

shinjiro aragaki x fem!reader fluff, angst?? a/n: literally dont know how to feel about this one cause its a little rushed but i really hope you enjoy it :D

The first time you saw him, it wasn’t some earth-shattering moment, no fireworks or music swelling in the background. It was just a normal afternoon, a cool breeze drifting through the air as students milled around the school gate. You were waiting for a friend when you noticed him—Shinjiro Aragaki, the upperclassman with a reputation that followed him like the scent of cigarette smoke.  

He leaned against the gate, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his coat, gaze fixed somewhere in the distance. He didn’t seem to be waiting for anyone, nor did he seem in a hurry to be anywhere. Something about that quiet solitude, about the way he carried himself like he was bracing for the world to throw the next punch, caught your attention.  

You told yourself it was just curiosity. But curiosity had a way of turning into something deeper before you even realized it.  

---  

The first real conversation you had with him was an accident.  

It was late, the kind of late where the dorms had settled into silence, the only sound the faint hum of the vending machine in the common room. You had come downstairs for a drink, not expecting to find anyone else awake. But there he was, sitting on the couch, a can of coffee in his hand, an old book resting on his knee.  

You hesitated. He wasn’t the type to invite company, but something about the way he stared at the pages without really reading them made you linger. Finally, you sat on the opposite couch, cracking open your own drink with a soft hiss.  

He didn’t acknowledge you at first, but after a few moments, he sighed, setting the book down. “You’re always up late.”

“So are you,” you countered.  

A huff of amusement. He didn’t argue.  

That was the first night you spent in companionable silence with him, each of you nursing your respective drinks, the television flickering quietly in the background. You didn’t know it then, but that was how it started.  

Then came the night everything changed.  

It was raining, the city wrapped in the kind of cold that seeped into your bones. You found him outside, sitting on the dorm’s back steps, rain soaking through his coat.  

“Shinjiro,” you called, stepping closer. “You’re gonna get sick.”

He didn’t look at you. Just exhaled slowly, the cigarette between his fingers burning low. “I don’t care.”

Something in his voice made you pause. It wasn’t the usual gruffness, the irritation he sometimes used as a shield. It was something raw, something heavy.  

You sat beside him without a word. For a while, the only sound was the rain. Then, softly—

“You ever think some people don’t deserve happiness?”  

You turned to him, frowning. “What?”

His gaze was distant, unreadable. “Some people… they just screw up too much. Hurt too many people. Doesn’t matter what they do after that. It’s already too late.”

Your heart ached. You didn’t know the full extent of what haunted him, but you knew he carried something heavy. You wanted to reach for him, but you didn’t. Instead, you said, “That’s not true.”

He let out a quiet, bitter laugh. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know you,” you countered. “And I know you’re not a bad person, Shinjiro.”

He shook his head, exhaling sharply. “You don’t get it. You—” He stopped, fingers digging into his palm. “You don’t know what I’ve done.”

Anger and frustration flashed across his face, but beneath it, there was something else—fear. Fear of what you’d say, fear of how you’d look at him if you knew the whole truth. 

The rain fell harder, drumming against the pavement, against your skin. You reached out, your hand wrapping around his wrist. He flinched at first, but you didn’t let go. 

“I don’t care,” you whispered. “Whatever it is, whatever you think makes you unworthy of happiness—it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

Shinjiro’s breath hitched. He turned to you then, really looking at you, his eyes stormy with emotions you couldn’t quite name. 

“Why?” His voice was hoarse, almost desperate. “Why do you care so much?”

“Because I love you,” you admitted, the words slipping from your lips before you could second-guess them. “And I know you love me, too.”

For a moment, the world stood still. Then, before you could process it, he was kissing you.  

It wasn’t gentle—it was rough, urgent, desperate, like he was trying to memorize the shape of you against him, like he was afraid this moment would slip through his fingers if he didn’t hold on tight enough. His hands cupped your face, rain mixing with the heat of his touch.  

When he finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, breath uneven. “You’re an idiot,” he murmured, voice raw with emotion. “You should’ve given up on me a long time ago.”

You smiled, brushing wet strands of hair from his face. “Too late for that.”

A shaky chuckle escaped him. Then, quieter, “I love you, too.”

The words were hesitant, like he wasn’t used to saying them, but they were real. And for the first time, Shinjiro didn’t try to push you away. He let himself fall. 

And this time, he didn’t fight it.

[amerricanartwork]

What's up with 12th Council Pillar, the House of Braids?

Just wanted to share something interesting I noticed in Metropolis while looking at the room names on the interactive map! I doubt I'm not the first person to discover or take interest in this, but nonetheless now that I'm into the worldbuilding for this game, both canon and headcanon, I hope to at least encourage a discussion about what the rooms I found could possibly be for!

*Oh and by the way, spoilers for Artificer campaign, just in case.

Alright, so I was originally looking for how to get to a specific room for an Artificer expedition, but decided to browse around on the map just to refresh my memory on the region overall. Right off the bat I think it's interesting how this region's rooms are denoted mostly with lexical names rather than the more common "Capital letter + 2-digit number" formula. But scrolling to the right is where my interest really got piqued when I saw this name for the room right before that long corridor on the way to the 12th Council Pillar, the House of Braids, labeled "LC_templegate":

And the next room after that, "LC_templeentrance" confirmed my realization that this was a temple of sorts:

Now don't get me wrong, Rain World has always had a fair amount of religious associations, and even just the name "12th Council Pillar, the House of Braids" gave me the impression from the first time traversing it that it was once some high-esteemed, holy location of sorts. But I guess that never really sank in and captured my greater interest until now.

Part of that's because earlier I was focused more on just completing the campaigns from a basic playthrough perspective, not yet as big on uncovering every little lore detail, and another reason I didn't really take it in was that, at the time of my first Artificer playthrough, I wasn't as big on headcanon worldbuilding and trying to uncover/imagine Ancient culture and society outside of very general ideas. But now I think about it, another major part of this lack of realization was because of how the main rooms of this subregion that stuck out in my mind were the low-gravity iterator-esque zones. Many of which are explicitly labeled with "LAB", like this one, and they even have the same neurons, inspectors, and/or those gravity-distorting spheres:

I mean, that cube at the bottom even very strongly resembles an iterator puppet chamber!

But then the questions become: what are these rooms for, why are they so similar to the interior of the iterator they sit atop, and why put them in what seems like it was supposed to be a temple? And by extent, is this something unique to Five Pebbles, or do other iterators have similar temple-labs somewhere in their cities?

I guess the reason these parts stuck out to me more than the actual temple association was because 1.) we don't see this low-gravity mechanic and these features anywhere else in the game besides inside the iterators, so it already gets points for uniqueness, and 2.) they're such a great contrast to everything else within Metropolis; even the "temple" rooms still look very similar to the rest of the region in their general aesthetic.

Seriously, what's up with all this "lab" stuff? It's not that I haven't seen these things before at this point, but why are they here, in a temple, of all places?

However, I do really like this idea so far, as I believe it speaks to a theme of Rain World I really enjoy: the seamless blend of science and spirituality. I enjoy seeing fictional worlds where "magical" things are not only objectively real, but have a scientific in-universe explanation, and/or are employed to create magical technology, yet in a way where these two ideas can exist in harmony rather than seeming like opposites. And the Ancients seem to have been very big on that, not only having a very strong cultural sense of spirituality but also being very technologically advanced, and incorporating those spiritual ideas and even elements of the world into their tech (ex: mass rarefaction tech derived from Void Fluid, an objectively real and "magical" substance with direct connections to their religious beliefs).

I have yet to come up with an explanation for what these iterator-esque lab rooms are (and on that note why they so strongly resemble iterator interiors, to the point they even contain their neurons and inspectors, which are supposed to directly aid in their functions). But as of now, just going mostly of basic gut instincts, my current theories are: A.) they exist in the temple so that whatever scientific endeavors carried out within were blessed with a sense of "holiness" in a similar manner to the holy ash Pebbles talks about, and B.) whatever tasks they were used for was one entrusted to the clergy class of this city, probably because the tasks were seen as something very important and connected to the Ancients' spiritual beliefs.

However, as I said I'm hoping to invite discussion with this post. Figuring out the Ancients' design philosophies and intentions for their creations has been a passion of mine when it comes to my headcanons, so I really do want to see if I can find a more concrete, or at least reasonable answer as to what the overall purpose of the 12th Council Pillar, the House of Braids was. Therefore if anyone has any extra details or theories as to what it was, I'd love to hear them!

And if you made it to the end, thanks for listening to my little spur-of-the-moment ramble!

[fayewoodss]

hello I am here to ask what art movements you relate to the dream team

Okay, let's do this! LONG POST! *cracks knuckles* 😤

George

I'm starting with George bc I'm a shameless Golo and he lives in my head like a worm.

I immediately associate George with expressionism. Now, this may seem strange considering his personal aesthetics are very designer streetwear and techwear, which in many way is the opposite of expressionism. However, in a lot of his wardrobe and overall personal tastes, he does have small bits of appreciation for expressionism.

For example, this Supreme shirt of his displays the piece "Reaper" by artist Josh Smith. Josh Smith is a contemporary post-modern artist and not from the original expressionist movement, but his work holds a lot of traits to expressionist artist Edvard Munch. Though I do have criticisms of Supreme and their foundation being in appropriation of Barbara Krueger, taking her anti-consumerist work and messaging to create a consumerism giant, I do admire that they've grown to collaborate, credit, and pay artists through their clothes.

(Josh Smith with Supreme and Edvard Munch)

Expressionism is very broad in style and artistry because it was the movement all about expressing personal taste and emotions through art, rather than capturing scenes as close to reality as possible (impressionism). I shared a post a few days ago about George's precious Discord profile pictures and both of them displayed a broad and vibrant spectrum of color, one being a palette knife piece and the other being a splatter piece. Now, these aren't necessarily expressionism. Like Josh Smith's work, they are post-modernist and abstract contemporary, but the usage of color and freedom in strokes puts them in a similar category.

Now, my final reasoning for George being expressionism is purely just Vincent Van Gogh. I am biased as George is my fave and Van Gogh is my fave, but recently a theory emerged about Van Gogh that he was likely red-green colorblind. When we look at Van Gogh's color palettes. He heavily relies on blues and yellows that fall within the protanopia color spectrum, whereas when he uses greens, reds, and oranges, they are often used as shading for blue and yellow. There are instances where he uses red and green with intention (his self portraits and the painting of his room), but even then when he uses red-green, it is not in a way that follows usual color theory.

It is impossible to know if Van Gogh was actually colorblind or had a color deficiency, but I do think it is a strong theory that supports his art and adds a new layer of perspective to it. Especially considering he was very unsuccessful in his lifetime and his artwork was often considered jarring and not appreciated.

George's color blindness is also fascinating to me, as per his own on stream tests, he has tested both as severe and mild, so unless we had George's vision, we don't realize exactly how much color he truly can see. But in the parasocial box in my mind, I think he would enjoy Van Gogh and expressionism as a whole.

(Vincent Van Gogh, original work left, work with protanopia filter right)

Dream

In my collage post, I mentioned impressionism for Dream, and while I do believe that to an extent, I personally think Dream might fit more into illustration and outsider art.

Illustration is an easy one to talk about because so much of his brand is simplistic and stylized in a very graphic and illustrative way. His very icon, the black and white Microsost paint smiley on the eye straining neon green, is playful, memorable, and recognizable. It's easy to replicate and remember, and through the artists and designers on his merch team, it's able to be reimagined and expanded upon.

For some context, I originally went to school for illustration, but very quickly switched into fine arts, so my knowledge of illustration as an industry is not as deep as it could be, but I know that reproduction and recognition are definitely pushed as important.

Stepping away from Dream's own branding with illustration, I think there is a strong connection from Dream to outsider art as well.

I am a huge fan of outsider art. I took multiple classes on it.I love outsider music and poetry. It is overall a movement I greatly enjoy. However, as a disclaimer, the origins of outsider art as a movement and category for art are very dubious and unethical. I won't get into all of it here, but when outsider art was initially coined, it was very exploitative of the mentally ill, disabled people, people of color, etc. I think as time has gone on and outsider art and artists alike gained audiences that were more appreciative and good faith, it has transformed into something more wholesome and celebratory.

Dream is a self-made individual. He didn't go into YouTube, content creation, and merchandising with previous learned knowledge. He's very open about being self-taught in most of his skills and endeavors. Outsider art at its core is about the uninitiated and the self-taught pursuing artistic endeavors without the fear or stress of the institution of art.

Daniel Johnston is the most notable artist within outsider music, but he was also a visual artist as well. His work is naive and honest, even when it is hamfisted and fumbled. He is genuine and truthful, but often to a fault. But he grew a cult audience that loved and appreciated him, even through his worst moments.

A little personal interjection, but I am a huge fan of Daniel and his work spoke to me through high school as someone who spent most of my life with undiagnosed autism. His death genuinely shook me and I remember the day he died so vividly that in some ways I'm still grieving. I recommend exploring his music with my whole chest, even if it may not be to your taste.

I do think in the modern world, a lot of people drawn to outsider art and the act of being self-taught in fields of interest are neurodivergent. Dream has been very open about having ADHD, and even mentioned possibly being on the [autism] spectrum (though that question was asked in a very invasive way, so I take Dream's answer with a grain of salt). I think that adds another level of connection/relation to outsider art.

I could go on and on about outsider art and how amorphous it's definitions have become, but I'll stop there for now.

(Works of Daniel Johnston)

Sapnap

In my opinion, I think Sapnap is the most open about his interests and personal aesthetics. Even if it's not a direct comment on it, he has the most furnished and decorated office, he has a clear and consistent sense of style with favored brands and imagery, and he's a big fan of anime and adult animation. He also advertises the most out of the Dream Team, so, like, get the bag, but also I'm going to tease him with art movements that directly comment on consumerism and advertisement.

Right away, I think appropriation and pop art.

Appropriation can be a scary word as we often hear it in the context of theft or bigotry. Even within the world of art, appropriation is a touchy subject as we try to define what is transformative appropriation and what is plagiarism, reference back to Supreme and Barabara Krueger.

I actually saw a Barbara Krueger show in real life, and it was nothing short of breathtaking. It was overwhelming and in your face. It was uncomfortable and eye-opening. It both meant nothing and everything as you were faced with false advertisements, bold statements, and consumerist culture.

(Barbara Krueger at the Art Institute of Chicago, 2021)

The biggest name in pop art is Andy Warhol, and when it comes to Warhol, you either hate him or you love him. The man is surrounded by controversies, both good and bad, but I won't deny his influence on contemporary art. I think his bold colors, high contrast, and play on reproduction in art all fit Sapnap's personal aesthetics, similar to Dream with illustration. But in more modern pop art, I think a lot about my friend and colleague David Hernandez. David's art is provocative and at times uncomfortable, but he uses a lot of ideas and concepts from pop art and appropriation to appeal to a more modern audience, playing into nostalgia growing up in the age of the internet in a way that is reactionary. His work can be very NSFW and outright gooner brained, so if you do seek out his art, be warned of that nature. Still, his skill is insane because he uses acrylic, oil, and spray paint to make pieces that feel as if they were done digitally.

(David Hernandez)

I hope these make sense, and maybe you even found a new artist/art movement to enjoy! I do think there is flexibility within these and plenty of other movements and artists that fit these creators (like impressionism with Dream even though I didn't include it), but these stand out to me the most as fitting their identities and personal aesthetics and interests.

If anyone has more they want to add or discuss, please reblog and/or comment because I would love to hear from others on this!

[meyerlansky]

sooooo I might have been stalking ur blog a little bit recently and in quite a few posts you’ve mentioned how curt often helps keep a lid on bucky’s problems dealing with the war (or, at the very least, redirects/absorbs them), and it’s only after HIS death that gale is able to fully witness how Badly bucky is handling things.

I’m curious to hear your thoughts on how events, and potentially, dynamics, would have shifted at the stalag if curt hadn’t been shot down as early as he did, and he actually joined the buckies?

apologies if this is something you’ve addressed before! 🫶🏻

ohhhhhh i have got SO many thoughts about this, it’s a little embarrassing /o\ and it’s complex and twisty and weird because my read on the whole “bucky’s in london while gale goes down” thing is that……… bucky was in london because curt’s dead. bucky’s been spiraling for two episodes, getting in fights with their CO, getting more and more reckless, because curt isn’t there to be in his corner anymore, platonically or otherwise. as effusive and social as he is, bucky doesn’t actually have a lot of people in his corner! he hangs out with curt and gale, gets drunk with curt and sings extremely off-key at gale, but beyond that? bucky doesn’t have a steady crew, most of the 100th fawn over gale and seem to stay away from bucky once he starts spiraling [which is imo the opposite of what both of them need: gale is a loner who doesn’t want to be put on a pedestal and bucky’s a pack animal], they BOTH alienated jack with the air-exec stunt, bill veal’s a nonentity past ep 3 for some reason… after curt dies, who does bucky have left? gale. who can’t or won’t sit with bucky through his broken moments, whether because he can’t handle it or because bucky doesn’t feel secure enough with him to let him see the full extent of them or whatever other reason. gale, who bucky doesn’t trust enough with his messy feelings to let him see them until it’s impossible to hide from anyone. gale, who, when bucky DOES let him see his mess, does the exact wrong thing, the opposite of what curt did, and ships bucky off to where gale doesn’t have to see him get wasted and gamble, to where bucky has even LESS of a social support system, and then gets shot down.

if curt’s still there, the whole THING changes.

i can’t imagine bucky doesn’t still spiral to some degree, because he still has to watch guys die for nothing, but i don’t think it’s as bad if curt’s still around and they get their blow-off-steam moments like after Bremen Round One. i also think with a little more time to get less formal with gale the way he is with bucky, curt wouldn’t let gale get away with dodging bucky’s breakdowns so much. the buckies are both too in it to see how they hurt each other with any objectivity: gale isolates and pretends messy things aren’t happening, bucky feels rejected and gets drunker and meaner, gale isolates harder, the ouroboros continues. and neither of them are equipped to realize that that’s what they’re doing, because this is the 1940s and they’re men in the middle of a war. there are some other characters that work as the third perspective-haver to point this stuff out, but imho there aren’t many; marge could swing it post-war, probably, but she’s not in bucky’s corner the same way curt is/was, she’s in gale’s because she’s his wife, and that means she could get through to gale but i don’t think bucky would BELIEVE her advocating on his behalf very readily, and also post-war a lot of the damage is already done. jack and bill are out of the equation, harding’s certainly not gonna get involved in Feelings, and everyone else in the 100th is too starry-eyed about ~*ooh Major Cleven ooh*~ to tell him “hey get your head out of your ass, you’re hurting bucky by withdrawing like this.” you know who DOESN’T fawn over gale, and isn’t afraid to say some shit to him he might not want to hear? curt. you know who gale likes enough to steal apples for and fuck up an entire formation plan for, and who he might actually listen to when they’re calling him out on shit? curt!

even if curt and gale don’t get to have the What Do We Do About Bucky Losing His Shit talk in the interceding months, i think everything would be a lot more stable—or at least heading towards it—before Bremen Round Two. and then Bremen Round Two. and then munster. because bucky absolutely still goes up in full revenga mode, he’s still bucky, he’s still out for blood. i don’t think which of those two missions curt goes down as well makes a HUGE difference, except that bucky’s probably on slightly more of an even keel between munster and getting stalag’d if curt flies munster with him [even if not the same fort; which, they made curt 350th in the show, so he probably wouldn’t be, which means brady’s still stuck with him] and bucky KNOWS curt bailed too. if curt AND gale go down in Bremen Round Two… i mean, it’s not like bucky’s mindset can be much WORSE than it is in canon, i guess.

once they’re all in stalag luft iii [which is not a given; The Moosburg AU lives in my mind forever but i’ll stay on topic] again, i really think curt would be a much more stabilizing influence on bucky than gale manages to be. bucky… doesn’t tell gale anything about what happened to him in canon. not that we see, anyway, and i don’t think that’s a conversation you leave off the page. and bucky doesn’t tell gale because! as discussed! bucky doesn’t trust gale with messy shit. i think if gale asked, bucky’d have told him, at least some of it, and even a heavily-edited relating of rüsselheim and the woods and the cattle car [plus whatever else bucky goes through pre-stalag but my thoughts on that are not canon so 🤫] would HOPEFULLY have made gale a little more sympathetic to how utterly terrified bucky is at the thought of just sitting there and waiting for the germans to decide they’re just as killable as the women and children in that cattle car. but gale isn’t the kind of guy that asks. i don’t necessarily think curt’s the kind of guy that asks MOST people, but MY curt at least is the kind of guy that asks bucky when something’s wrong. and honestly, he doesn’t really even have to be the kind of guy who asks; bucky’s a lot more likely to just TELL HIM things, the same way he cops to being numb on the wing. bucky trusts curt with his real feelings more than he trusts gale with them. and curt’s not above going behind bucky’s back to give gale a better sense of what’s going on with the guy they both care about [not telling him everything, but enough to get the point across] if it means gale will stop treating bucky wanting to escape like it’s a sophomoric pipe dream and not something understandably motivated by having an objectively worse POW experience than gale did. on the other leg of the triangle, as much as i do think independent of bucky curt is more on the escape-or-die-trying end of the stalag spectrum than the sit-and-wait-it-out end, he’s not stupid and he’s [probably] not scared shitless the way bucky is, so i don’t think they’d hare off on their own, but i do think bucky’s also more likely to take “it’s not safe/the timing’s not right” as a understandable rebuff from someone who has otherwise been in his corner, vs someone who’s pining for his fiancee and who’s desperate for things to just be Normal Again.

curt really stabilizes a lot of the worst parts of clegan for me, which i know isn’t exactly a popular opinion, but i have it anyway. there’s no “if x happened, nothing else would’ve gone wrong!” in this entire narrative, but i really do think curt dying is what sends bucky into a tailspin he can’t pull himself out of on his own steam. so if curt’s in the stalag with them, or even just ALIVE, bucky has something to anchor to, and if bucky has something to anchor to, i don’t think he breaks down QUITE to the extent he does in canon.

[ofmonticello]

For oneshot requests, maybe some Jamilton from an outsiders' pov?

sorry this took literal ages!! i was halfway done and i think i accidentally deleted the original, so i had to start over. but even then i was slacking beforehand 😔 also i couldn't come up with a cheesy title im sorry 😭

The volume of a house party was never something that James particularly enjoyed. He was a man of simple pleasures, and he greatly appreciated things like calm silence and alone time. But of course, his wife was not the same as him, and in fact was a social butterfly. James didn't mind it, even if it meant that the couple was more often the hosts of parties rather than guests.

Once upon a time, James would socialize with Thomas, who was single and had an exceptionally small social battery. It would always go about the same—James would sit in his corner and people watch while Thomas made his rounds before joining him. Thomas was always a man that people just had to see. His looks and charm, while oftentimes accidental, pulled people right in. James always listened to people when Thomas walked away, calling him a sweetheart and the like. That part always made him laugh—he knew Thomas to be a huge pain in the ass.

Similarly, James would watch Alexander. He wasn't entirely sure why Dolley still invited him. James had been acquaintances with Hamilton for some time, but that ended when Alex became too focused on everything but his personal life. James was beginning to wonder if Dolley had seen something he hadn't yet, because it turned out well. Thomas and Alexander had been dating for two years, and definitely seemed to be headed down the right path.

Now James watched the two together, after Thomas made his rounds, and made sure to sit with James like he used to. Thomas was a good friend, even if James knew he didn't believe it himself. They'd been through literally everything together, and James couldn't even think of a time where they went more than a few days without speaking. He truly wouldn't mind if Thomas spent time elsewhere, but he appreciated the sentiment.

Whenever James spent actual time observing the two together, he noticed something new. The way Thomas was sure to include Alexander in conversations with people that he might not know, how Alexander leans into Thomas' every (very frequent) touch. James also noticed how, when someone called Thomas a sweetheart after he'd walked away, Alexander would smile to himself as if he won some kind of argument. And when Alexander talked someone's ear off, Thomas would make a point to listen to every single word.

James could only be glad that the two finally got their shit together and realized that they were supposed to be together, in some way or another. Even though he admired their relationship from afar now, he could remember their so-called hatred of one another that started it all.

James met Alexander well before Thomas did. All he could think when they first met was that Hamilton was the single most fiery person he'd ever met. For someone to be so outspoken at all of the wrong times was genuinely entertaining, and James had been certain that Thomas would get a real kick out of it. That, and he assumed the two would butt heads as soon as they spoke to one another. Unfortunately, they were like some phenomenon where opposites could be identical.

Both men were so opinionated, and so firm in their beliefs, but Thomas somehow managed to be strategic while Alexander assumed everyone would follow his logic. James had expected their disagreements, but he had underestimated the extent they'd reach. He listened to Thomas complain about Alexander for months, and sat alongside the rest of the office as the two spatted embarrassingly in front of everyone.

Eventually, James came to the realization that Thomas and Alexander had a simple solution to their issue with one another. All they needed to do was sit down and talk, and they'd realize that they actually had a lot in common. At least, work wise. Thomas had hobbies that James couldn't imagine Alexander ever participating in, but that didn't matter. He and Dolley didn't have completely aligned interests, and he couldn't imagine a life without her in it.

Besides, the strange little ‘rivalry’ between Alexander and Thomas had James wanting to shout, ‘kiss! kiss! kiss!’ like he was watching a hockey game. Not that he watched hockey often, but there was no way those players never thought differently than expected when he had another pinned against the glass. Alexander and Thomas were just about the same, except in an office fighting over paperwork rather than..whatever hockey players fight over.

Then, they had the audacity to start dating in secret. James wasn't sure when they finally got their heads out of their asses, but it became evident to him when their fights didn't include personal insults or anything nearly as demeaning as it usually was. Everyone else thought that the two had finally matured, but James knew better.

James began to notice the little things, too. Thomas would leave the office just before Alexander, and they'd show up right after each other as well. Far enough apart where it very well could have been a coincidence, but close enough to realize they were arriving and leaving together. Thomas was less likely to invite James over at random, and seemed weirdly on edge even when it was just the usual times they spent time together. It all felt very obvious to James.

Despite this, James acted surprised when Thomas and Alexander finally revealed their big secret to everyone. For the sake of his friend, and himself. He did wonder if Thomas knew that James was aware, however. Anyone knew that Thomas had brains to him, but it seemed that the extent of his intelligence was often underestimated. James didn't mind, he got to be called the smart one (which he is, don't get confused).

Now, James is simply blessed to go out on double dates with them. Alexander was around more often than he wasn't, and James didn't mind. Dolley was better at socializing, at least in a “kind” way that James tended to fail with. He couldn't help it if he always came off as sarcastic and dry.

Regardless, he was just glad to see Thomas finally have someone that genuinely seemed to make him happy. James wasn't going to make any assumptions about their relationship, as it was always hard to guess with Thomas, but it seemed that they were the type to make it if they wanted to.

---

i hope this is remotely enjoyable! i'm not used to writing from james' perspective, but i thought he was perfect for the prompt based on my personal portrayal idk

thanks for the request!!

[heartkaji]

[ ★ ⸻ @gojoracle ]

★ OVERVIEW

hi maru !! your ask was such a good read, your oc’s personality is rlly interesting. i was also surprised to see you asked for loki ?? he’s so underrated omg 💔 anyways, i feel like sakura and loki are pretty similar in the sense that they’d give off nearly the same first impression : distant & reserved. tbh if you ask me i can imagine them being rivals to an extent. not exactly, but i feel like sakura would be distrustful and really cautious about loki at first. she doesn’t buy his kind facade and is convinced he’s wearing some sort of mask. loki can sense how sakura is always trying to get a read on him and i can imagine him being almost playful about it, doing things to mislead her perception of him (think of how suo from winbre might do that cuz that’s exactly what i’m imagining). either way, they both find each other very interesting and make for an unexpected couple💘

Q1 — WHO FELL FIRST, WHO FELL HARDER ?

sakura fell first. it’s something she never saw coming too. like i said she’s not too fond of loki, she’s usually good at reading people but to her loki is just different. it’s like when she thinks he’ll do one thing, he does the exact opposite. i can imagine sakura getting to a point where she’s almost obsessed with getting a read on him—she begins to fixate on his habits and mannerisms, and soon starts to pick up on little things about him : the way he absolutely refuses to drink from a teacup without a saucer, or how he carries those mini tissue packs in his short pockets, or how he seems to squint whenever he’s on his phone. after some more observing, she finds herself growing almost fond of him, though his nearly teasing comments never fail to snap her out of it . sakura doesn’t even realize when she’s fallen in love with loki. all she knows is that when loki accuses her of staring with a knowing grin on his face, she find herself almost struggling to say no

julian falls harder. at the beginning of your relationship i can imagine sakura being the avoidant type. she leaves him on delivered for hours simply because her chest aches at the idea of responding. she has no idea why either. even though at this point the two have warmed up to each other, sakura remains somewhat distant to a degree. that, combined with how sakura seeems to show a strange warmth to certain people like shidou never fails to confuse loki. he wonders why she won’t look at him with that soft and familiar gaze either, despite them being a couple. its impossible to notice, but it makes loki go crazy. he turns into a full fledged simp. buying her flowers and expensive jewelry, showering her with affection in all sorts of love languages, etc. julian does all this with the hope that he can get sakura to open up to him a little bit faster, but fortunately for him it’s slowly but surely working 💘

Q2 — AT WHAT MOMENT DID THEY FALL IN LOVE ?

the first time he saw sakura laugh !! she’s asked him this question and that’s what he said, he’s so cheesy my god 😭 at this point in time the two already have some sort of affection towards each other. feelings if you will, though both of them would deny that if you asked 🤦‍♀️ like i said, i can imagine loki being a tease suo style and please bear with me when i say that as a flirt this man is the BIGGEST cornball 😭😭 he thinks he’s so slick and suave with his one liners but whenever karasu and the other members overhear him they side eye each other 🚶‍♂️also trust me when i say that shidou and charles mock him behind his back 😭 they call him the rizzlèr (notice the french) and everything. ANYWAYS, loki hardly flirts. it’s mostly subtle teasing, but as the two sort of grow on each other he (sadly) becomes more comfortable using pick up lines on her. sakura was practicing dribbling one day when julian walked in. he watched her play for a while until she mis-kicked the ball and it rolled straight towards him. he picked up the ball and with his whole chest he said,

“do you play soccer ? because you’re a keeper.”

sakura grabbed another soccer ball lying on the pitch and promptly shot it at his face.

!! it was worth it though. his nose was aching from the shot and he was rubbing at his eyes but his ears perked up at the sound of her laugh. it’s a quiet giggle accompanied by a few snorts, but julian thought it was the prettiest thing he’d ever heard. at that moment his chest felt warm and suddenly the ache of his nose couldn’t compare to the ache in his heart 💓

Q3 — AT WHAT MOMENT DID YOU FALL IN LOVE ?

like i said, sakura fell first. it was definitely a gradual thing though; i can imagine her slowly becoming swayed by julian’s subtle teasing and witty remarks. at first she shoots all sorts of sharp comebacks at him but soon her comebacks become flustered stammers 💔 poor thing, she’s frustrated and wants to rip his head off and loki’s subtle grin isn’t helping matters at all ☹️ he’s such a bastard and sakura should hate him but for some reason her chest feels warm ?? and her cheeks too ?? she definitely panics at the feeling and tells shidou and charles about it and they tell her she’s in love but she’s so quick to deny it 🤦‍♀️ she’s in denial for DAYS and shidou and charles hate it. like she can’t be this dense ?? they make it a point to tease her by calling loki her boyfriend and lover but when she doesn’t deny it they know they’ve caught her red handed 🤞 shidou also makes sakura say that she likes julian out loud or else he’ll call him and tell loki himself but hey that’s between you and me !!

>> 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 <<

© ─ heartkaji ; do not steal, copy, edit, translate or reupload

[666writingcafe]

The Adventure Begins

Levi's overacting. Again. The only reason it wasn't obvious during the school play was because Simeon kept him reined in. Levi gets excited quite easily, and it causes him to get lost in whatever role he's playing.

I'll have to ask Simeon, but I don't think he intended the Lord of Shadow to act so...dramatically? badly? I don't know how to describe it, really. It just isn't very good.

Unlike MC. I'm not sure why I like their acting better, especially since they're currently matching Levi's energy. Maybe it's because they're intentionally hamming it up. They did mumble an apology to me before they started talking to him, after all, so they must know that Levi's acting isn't the best.

Satan's isn't much better, either. He's not as over-the-top as Levi, but I don't find him convincing as the "villain" of this story. If anything, he'd make a good anti-hero, but Solomon probably didn't want to make things too complicated.

Solomon's not a very good author.

However, I'm choosing to keep all this to myself, because the point of all this is to help MC get their first star. Lucifer, on the other hand, is having a hard time suspending his disbelief. So, I understand why MC told him to shut up. I just hope they're prepared to get their ass handed to them once Lucifer's back to normal size, because while he has a soft spot for MC, he doesn't like being silenced. Messes with his pride.

Speaking of which...the stars.

They represent the seven virtues, which are direct opposites of our sins. For me, that virtue is temperance. Solomon probably knows this, but he may not realize the full extent of my relationship with temperance.

Once upon a time, I was able to control myself and my urges. Until I wasn't. For my brothers, their sin was triggered by specific events; that wasn't the case for me. It just...happened. And I didn't realize it until it was too late.

Now, it's what most people know me for. They think I'm a meathead that only thinks about food. Even my brothers.

Which isn't fair.

Why are they allowed to have complex personalities, but not me? Why can they participate in mentally stimulating activities, while I'm cast off to the side and dismissed as too dumb to understand any of it? It's never made sense to me.

I think that's part of why I like MC so much. They're the first person in a really, really long time that sees me beyond my sin. They actually listen to what I have to say and seem to value my opinion, even if it's not related to food or sports.

Yet somehow, deep inside, I don't fully trust them. I think it's coming from my subconscious. Somewhere in there lives a hurt angel that feels like everyone he cares about will die and leave him behind. And in a way, it's true.

Lilith may have been the only person in our little family that actually lost their life, but my brothers barely resemble what they were in the Celestial Realm. It's weird. They wear the same faces, but they're completely different people. Sometimes, I feel like they're complete strangers, or perhaps taken over by aliens.

Oddly, the one person I can rely on to stay the same is Satan. Then again, he didn't have his own form until we arrived in the Devildom, so this version of him is all I've ever known.

"Beel?"

Shit.

I missed a lot, didn't I?

"Are you okay? You seem out of it."

"I could say the same to you." Why is that the first thing that comes out of my mouth? I sound like a jerk.

MC merely sighs as they sit next to me on the...bed? I take a proper look at my surroundings and realize that we're in a hotel room of some kind. Lucifer appears to be sleeping on the nightstand, using tissues as both pillow and blanket.

"Wanna go first, or shall I?" Interesting question. They don't seem upset at me.

"Your call." MC rests their head on my shoulder.

"Simeon needs my help making an important decision." Their tone indicates something serious.

"With what?" MC sighs again.

"His future." Huh? Why would an angel need a human's help with that? I know that the two of them are fairly close, but still.

"But that's neither here nor there," they quickly add, sighing. "It's not like I can do anything about it now." They glance up at me. "What's on your mind?"

"My past."

"As an angel?" I nod.

"Back then, the only thing that mattered to people was that I was strong. I wanted to be useful, so I decided to become a soldier and fight for the Celestial Realm. Problem was, I had trouble controlling my powers."

"Like I did before receiving the Ring?"

"You know, I hadn't really thought about it until you said it, but yeah. I suppose we have that in common. In your case, everyone had your back, which is good, because I wouldn't have wanted you to go through that experience the way I did." MC sits up and properly looks at me.

"What do you mean?"

"Every time I would destroy something--even though most of the time it was a complete accident--Raphael would make some sort of sarcastic remark about it. I think he started calling me the Hulk at one point, but it was meant as an insult." I pause.

"At least he had the decency to do it to my face. Lots of angels would talk shit about me behind my back. They thought I was too stupid to pick up on it, but I knew. They acted overly sweet towards me whenever I would walk in the room. Condescending, even. It was like I was a dumb kid to them." MC places a hand on my thigh and pats it.

"Sounds depressing," they remark.

"It was. Oddly enough, the one person in authority that didn't treat me that way was Lucifer. I initially thought he was too busy with his duties to really care about much else, but then one day he approached me and started talking to me. We had a legitimate conversation."

"About?"

"He told me to keep in mind that being a Celestial Realm soldier wasn't about attacking--"

"--but protecting." We must have woken Lucifer up. "You had the power to protect everyone--to keep them safe--and that you shouldn't feel bad because you were special. If you learned to control your powers, I'd recommend you to the cherubim and have you serve as a Celestial Realm gatekeeper. You did, and so I kept my promise." Lucifer beckons MC to pick him up and bring him closer to me.

"MC and I may be connected by the Ring of Light, but the two of you have a strong connection as well," he continues. "You're both motivated by the need to protect the ones you love, even if it means sacrificing yourself in the process. Drawing on that similarity is going to be the key to pass Solomon's test."

"Are you saying Solomon knew we had that in common?" MC asks incredulously.

"No. I did. I simply passed the knowledge along to him."

"How long--"

"The rooftop."

"Of Dogi Magi?" I'm glad MC understands what he's referring to, because I'm completely lost. Must have been something I wasn't involved with.

"You knew that Belphie would hurt you if you went against his order to reject me, but you did it anyway."

"I didn't want to lie to you."

"Because that would have meant hurting his feelings." Asmo may have used his powers to pick up on Lucifer's crush on MC early on, but I knew pretty much from the moment they set eyes on each other. Granted, he was more attracted to their soul initially, but who could blame him? It was bright and shiny, even back then. If we weren't under orders to not eat them, then they wouldn't have made it out of the assembly hall alive. Even Diavolo was struggling to contain himself.

Anyway, the point is MC cared enough about Lucifer in that moment to feel the need to protect him.

Just like I felt the need to protect Lucifer after I became a cherub.

MC's going to get their star.

[lumitytakes]

AMITY'S WARMING UP TO LUZ ISN'T RUSHED OR FORCED AT ALL. (Part 1)

At first, I used to think that Amity warms up to Luz so quickly because it happens after 2 episodes, but later, I think the opposite. The focus isn't the time length, it is what Luz does for Amity in that short time.

1. Amity doesn't outright hate or despise Luz.

People think Amity stops hating Luz is rushed because they think Amity truly hates Luz and Amity is a vindictive and spiteful person at that time.

In fact, Amity's feelings are more complex than that, not to mention her encounter with Luz at that time has 2 big misunderstandings: the cheating accident at the Covention and the diary incident..

- Furthermore, Amity has had a high opinion of Luz since the Covention. Luz and Amity aren't magic prodigies, and they have to try hard to learn magic, so Amity can relate to her to some extents.

- Amity looks a bit remorseful when she tells Luz to go away. She even reaches her hand out a little.

- Amity says that she has been trying to figure out what Luz's real intention was since the misunderstandings make her feel mixed. Amity doesn't know whether Luz wants to be her friend or embarass her. Amity acknowledges that Luz has good intentions like trying to comfort her at the Covention and apologizes, but at the same time, Amity's trouble is involved with Luz's presence. Amity's feelings are complex, she feels annoyed with Luz, but at the same time she doesn't hate Luz to bits.

- Once the misunderstanding is resolved, it's logical Amity won't hate Luz as much as before.

2. Covention.

- During the duel, Luz could choose to let Amity continue to step on the spikes so she could win and continue to learn magic. However, she doesn't care about winning, she just doesn't want Amity to get hurt, even though Amity is her biggest rival at that time.

- Everyone, including the so-called Amity's number-one fans even believe that she really cheats on purpose. Only Luz trusts Amity, and only Luz reaches out to Amity while no one does.

- Luz can just leave Amity alone and believe that Amity cheated like anyone else but she chooses to follow Amity and comfort her, something no one does, not even her mentor Lilith who guides and knows her longer than Luz or her number-one fans.

- Luz is passionate with magic, she's adamant with her opinion that humans can do magic and humans can be witches. She stands with this opinion so strongly that she even challenges Amity to a witches’ duel for this. But when Amity seems to have a breakdown, Luz willingly admits that she isn't a witch. Maybe she just wants Amity to feel better, along with how Luz finally realizes that being a witch as a human isn't all sunshine and rainbows.

[dualityvn]

If it isn't too much could we get a little story about the boys being jealous from Mc bumping into their ex (Mc ex that is)

All His (GN!MC x Keith)

You and Keith are walking home hand in hand. You stopped by his workplace after running an errand around the time his shift would end. And now you get to return together.

The weather is nice, which makes the walk pleasant. And you get to listen to Keith telling you about his day. Apparently, he got a fun order today.

As he's about to tell you which flowers he picked for the center of the arrangement, you notice someone familiar walking towards you from the opposite direction. You try not to visibly cringe at the realization. You want to think of an attempt to go unrecognized, but it's already too late. He saw you.

"Y/N! It's been so long!" your ex says as he stops in front of you, forcing you and Keith to a stop as well.

"Oh, hi," you say a bit awkwardly.

"You haven't been answering my texts."

Oh no. He'd always been the insistent type. Part of you had hoped he'd notice you're holding hands with someone, take a hint and go on his way.

"Excuse me," Keith cuts in before you can respond, probably having noticed that you're not very happy to see this person. "I don't believe we've been introduced."

"Right. This is Keith, my boyfriend. Keith, this is Andy, my ex." The word "ex" comes out as if it's painful to pronounce.

Neither of them seem to take the information well. Andy's eyes go wide, while Keith's features subtly harden.

"Oh, you got a boyfriend." There's a poor attempt at sounding casual and not at all disappointed. It fails miserably at convincing Keith.

"They did."

Keith slips an arm around your waist, pulling you towards him. "Now that you know this, perhaps you'll stop texting them."

The tension is thick enough to cut with a knife. The normally timid and sweet florist is doing a pretty good job at intimidating the other guy.

"Chill, man. I wasn't trying-"

"You weren't? Then what business do you have texting them multiple times?"

Keith regular soft and gentle features are now held in a stern gaze that could make the sea freeze over. Andy doesn't enjoy it much. He holds his hands up.

"If you're gonna be like this, I'll go. It was nice seeing you, Y/N."

Keith doesn't take his eyes off him as he walks around you two and goes on his way. You feel like you can breathe again now that he's gone.

The rest of the walk isn't as pleasant as it started. Keith doesn't continue his story about flowers. His grip on your hand is a little tighter, though not enough to hurt you or feel uncomfortable. His features have softened, too, but a small frown remains as he stares at his own feet.

"Has he been bothering you for long?" he asks, just as the two of you reach the door to the apartment complex.

"Huh? Oh, he sent a few messages a few weeks ago, but I ignored him."

"Why didn't you tell him you're seeing someone?"

"I didn't really want to talk to him. I just hoped he'd give up. If he didn't, I would've just blocked him."

Keith doesn't say anything else as you two make your way to your apartment. Once inside,  you both busy yourselves with different tasks. You know by now that it's better to leave Keith alone for some time when he is angry, even if not with you.

Half an hour later, you notice he is still quieter than normal, so you join him in the kitchen, where he's started making dinner.

"Are you still upset?" you ask.

"What? I'm not upset." He looks at you with mild offense.

"Yes, you are. You still have your jealous face on."

"I- I have a jealous face?"

The fact that he can stutter and sound surprised means he's at least calmed down to a great extent.

You laugh. "Keith, you're the only one for me. Andy is just some idiot that I couldn't care less about."

He sets down a spoon as you walk up to him and place a hand on his cheek. The frown on his face relaxes and a tiny smile replaces it. Only to return a moment later. 

"I don't like how he talks to you, like he still has a chance."

"He doesn't."

You pull him in for a kiss. As soon as he notices what you're trying to do, his slips his arms around your back and attacks your mouth with his. Most of his kisses are gentle, but this one is desperate and possessive, like an angry cry towards anyone and anything that might want to take you from him.

He presses his forehead to yours when you break away from the kiss. Greed glistens in those blue eyes.

"Will you block him? And tell me if you run into him again."

"Alright, I will. But you have nothing to worry about. I'm all yours."

He kisses you again, softer this time and lingers there for a moment before speaking. "I'll never get tired of hearing that." More kisses trail down your neck.

"Hey. Weren't we going to make dinner?" you remind him.

The attack on your neck stops, followed by a small sigh. "I suppose we shouldn't skip a meal. Alright, let's do that first. But afterward..."

You give him a sly smile in response to his unvoiced question. It satisfies him, because he turns back to the counter.

[chronicbeans]

I'm currently looking at Lucifer and wondering how exactly he's going to develop in the whole plot of Hazbin. Not necessarily PLOT development (example: getting past Lilith, getting closer to Charlie, etc.), more like personality traits that are either going to be revealed or developed overtime.

(Okay this got a lot longer than I expected, so um... here's a read more lol. I guess this is a sort of character development inference...?)

I really like the idea that every character in Hazbin has good and bad traits, despite being in Heaven or Hell. For example, we have Angel Dust. He's a nice person, but he does have problems opening up to people (understandable given his past), as well as giving into bad vices and pushing people away. So, we've seen Lucifer's tendencies of neglecting to connect with others, but being a good person and genuinely wanting connections, especially with his daughter.

HOWEVER, I am interested in whether or not they are going to do anything with the fact that he is the Sin of Pride. I've seen a few mention how the other Sins we've seen are a bit of the opposite of their sin. Ozzie is the Sin of Lust, but unlike how a lot of people would probably view the embodiment of lust, he values consent and can make genuine romantic connections. Queen Bee is Gluttony, but does care that people at her party do not overindulge to the point that they get hurt.

However, for many of the Sins so far, they do engage with their sins in their own way. Ozzie still does indulge in lust, just while caring for every party's consent (thank God he's not a Valentino. We love that for Ozzie). Queen Bee does indulge in vices like drinking and partying to what could be seen as a negative extent, with what seems to be her limit being that no one gets hurt. Otherwise, it seems to be fair game for her.

So, for Lucifer, I'm loving how we all see him as a total Smol Bean. So far, he is a total Smol Bean. However, I'm totally anticipating SOMETHING that might be like... a bombshell for our depressed blorbo's character. Specifically, that something may be a few prideful/narcissistic tendencies coming through. Like him trying to get more attention on himself, now that he's finally taken a step out of his workshop and gotten some attention from not only his daughter, but her friends.

He may not be like "YO I'M FUCKING AWESOME GUYS LOOK AT ME" sorta prideful, but maybe more of a "Guys I'm so awful and I feel horrible and I have so many problems give me comfort" sorta... well, not really prideful, but more so manipulative and attention seeking. Possibly without even knowing it, either, considering how him and Charlie seem similar in being well meaning so far. So, if he does development a sort of manipulative tendency in order to get attention towards him, he may not even realize that's what is happening. He might just think "I feel bad and have to complain. After all, I know my family and her friends can help cheer me up!"

I think it'd be pretty interesting, at least. Like, so far, Lucifer is the complete opposite of what you'd expect the Sin of Pride to be. He's depressed, self-conscious, and has probably been isolating himself from everybody that COULD give him attention for years. However, much like the other Sins are still the embodiment of what they represent, he's still the Sin of Pride. He probably still engages, or will develop ways to engage in traits you'd see in pride. So, him using his pre-existing traits, whether unintentionally or not, to get attention would be interesting to see. It'd still keep a lot of his character together while showing that he can still have flaws that are unlikeable. (It'd probably also put into perspective Charlie's line about him only really when he's bored or needs Charlie to do something. Like, it could be that he just isn't good at talking to people, including Charlie, but it could also be linked to his identity as the Sin of Pride if his personality does go this route).

[unma]

I Love Philip (LOR) And Feel so Painfully Bad for Him

Every time I think about Philip I cannot help but be reminded of how dirty he gets done in Library of Ruina. My little boy does not catch a break. He gets beat into submission at least 4 different times. He unwillingly gets saved from certain death in the library, and with the hindsight we get at the true ending of the game, that would have been a preferable fate.

But no, he gets thrown into Oswald's clutches. He doesn't get a chance to properly mull over his feelings and emotions like Xiao did, he doesn't get to actually work through it in a healthy manner, and much like Yan, gives in and becomes the Crying Children.

He still doesn't die. And then Argalia gets a hold of him and he loses all sense of who he once was, until now he's just Philip again. But he isn't Philip: everything that once made him up is gone, replaced by only the cinders, the ashes of what was once his burning flame.

And now he fights, burning once more. Much like Xiao, his fuel was those he cared about, but now that's all gone. Now he just fights for the Ensemble. And really, for what? He's truly and wholly apathetic now; any semblance of emotions is muted and grey, dulled to the point of returning to apathy.

It's a wonderful parallel that Malkuth continues to burn while all her efforts seem to have been hopeless, with the hope that it all, in time, will be worth it, while Philip burns in spite of said hope: he burns to destroy all, and reduce it all to sad, depressing soot.

In the end, it's a sad fate for him, and every time I return to the song "And There Is Heard No More" I feel horrible for him. He really didn't deserve all he'd gone through. Most members of the ensemble are horrible, or dislikeable in their own ways. You don't feel bad for their deaths, even if you do realize that some of them got here simply because of how twisted the city is. But we've spent a lot of time with Philip and got to see how he really was just trying his best for those he cared about, only for him to burn out until there was nothing left of him.

In the direct opposite manner of how Xiao goes out in a triumphant blaze of glory and will now get to see those she cares about once more, satisfied that she took action and never stopped burning till the end, Philip goes out the same way a small candle fire does. Silently and weak, the wisps of smoke that remained of him gone in the wind.

Xiao is the raging forest fire that scars the land irreparably for years, maybe even decades to come. Philip is the small candle flame that never got to spread before it slowly died off. And 'Philip', his remains, is that melted wax candle, being forcibly set aflame in an attempt to reduce everything to that same, sad puddle of apathy.

But this is just how I see it. Something I didn't point out here is the importance of isolation and the ability to define oneself to Philip's story, and how losing those close to him and being driven to Isolation was what got him here, and he was further not allowed the chance to grow or define himself like Xiao was, or how Angela could in the floor realization. Hod's Realization is all about Angela realizing that only she could truly define herself, and this floor's theme is an excellent parallel in that Philip wants the same: the ability to define oneself in isolation. The difference is, in part, in the extent.

Malkuth does not think that one is completely defined in the absence of others. While letting other's criticism and opinions define you is, frankly, a horrible idea, it does not mean it is all to be discarded. And while the clashing of opinions will inevitably lead to conflict and hard times, one can choose to take it all and use it yourself: to decide if and how to use one's experiences to define yourself. You define yourself, and you are not limited to your environment, but that does not make it a waste. You can grow and become better because of your enviornment.

'Philip' does not believe in this. He doesn't see the point, seeing where his hardships brought his previous self, which is why he wants complete isolation. In truth, he believes the same: You define yourself. But their beliefs are fundamentally incompatible as soon as the topic of oneself in relation to other people comes up, which is why they must disagree.

This final bit is a bit of a headcanon, more headcanon-y than my previous interpretation of events anyway.

I like to think that since Philip still has those little bits of what he once was, those come out in battle. When he's burning, when he's overheated, that previously dead flame is back, at least in part, and he can more vividly recall things and remember why and how he's gotten here. It would be a nice touch, but maybe that's just me.

Anyway, that's enough ranting about my poor boy. I have a fic to finish, and then maybe I'll go beat up Oswald and Argalia for doing this to Philip. And then I'll solo Roland with a different floor, probably.

[hoshibait]

i'd love to hear those drake headcanons of yours :^)!

alright anon i warned you

quick warning for obsessive love and idk bro toxic angst i guess

also another warning i’m projecting a lot, specifically onto drew.

i’m a strong believer of drew being one of those gay people that just really represses their sexuality to the point of just not realizing for a while. he eventually figures out his gender but he doesn’t really talk about it much and cringes when he thinks about it too much. he’s a transfem agender, no big deal.

i know a lot of people hc drew as hispanic and that makes me very happy. you wanna know why i made him peruvian though, i’ll tell you why, i’m projecting, suck it nerd.

drew began being friends with jake during freshman year, in my head i feel like part of it was out of pity, drew didn’t think too much of jake at the time, just a new cool guy to hang out with.

idk how canon this is but in my interpretation the two of them the two of them got close to the point of being best friends, the two of them just jived together so well, he felt so understood, jake was an amazing guy, he was so fun to hang out with. it felt like things were perfect. however we know it wasn’t always great for the opposite party.

i’m a firm believer of neurodivergent jake, i don’t know what he has exactly but he’s def peculiar LMAO.

because of this, he’s always struggled socially and generally just being able to be his true self, of course he has a passion for singing and music and i wouldn’t be surprised if his neurodivergence impacted that at all.

think about it though, you’ve been bullied and outcasted your whole life, and all of the sudden a group of cool dudes want to take you in just because you seem cool to them?

jake finally felt a sense of belonging, right?

except those people were also judgmental to an extent, they put other people down, they put down your passion indirectly. you don’t want to lose them, because they seem to care for you, so you hide and lie, you mask.

i wouldn’t put it past jake to have some identity issues with how much he lies even to himself. ngl the more i write this the more i realize i said all the important things in my little chart. oh yeah my drew bpd hc this is def just me projecting btw, also i called it developing/undiagnosed in the chart since it's very rare for people his age to get diagnosed with it, plus he def goes around untreated. i guess the best way i can describe the two of them in my hc is this weird complicated love-hate thing. they're definitely not healthy, not at this rate, but it's like there's this slight chance, this sliver of hope that maybe things can work. i don't think that would happen though. i still need to think of how jake would even turn down drew, but i just know he'd be, more torn, lmao. you guys think a little bit of tyler the creator could've saved drew //slap

[scoonsalicious]

OKAY I'M HERE. Sorry, I'm late. Funnily enough, we're on opposite sides of the world so your update time is waaaayyy too early in the morning for me so I usually read it when I wake up (shocking I know, digesting this traumatic but amazing masterpiece early in the morning) but since school has started up again and I have morning classes I haven't been able to. So do expect my reports to be a lil later than usual. ANYWAYS ENOUGH ABOUT ME.

Let's start with Steve and Pocket. I totally forgot that both of them were under the influence during that time and while they did get a little frisky (I also find it so funny how Pocket doesn't have much of a reaction. it was all Steve. It was as if she already knew she could never orgasm with this man. like homegirl was dry during that I just know it) I'm glad they didn't go far and were able to actually realize how much of a mistake it would've been because not only for obvious reasons like that's your ex's best friend but also the intoxicated thing. It wouldn't have done any good to Poxket's mental state es; especially knowing Steve's feelings. But hey, he stopped it. Literally the bare minimum for any man but the bar currently in hell (looking at you Benson) so. Good on Steveioli.

Now with the heart-to-heart, I'm so glad Pocket was able to unload all that and actually have a good cry for once. And, for Steve, as much as I still find him kinda fishy (I still do think he has a hand in ruining their relationship, that he isn't as innocent or this knight and shining savior that he's showing. I just know Steve did something and pulled some strings so i don't trust him fully yet), he made some very good points. I do agree with what he said about Bentley. We can only really imagine what he went through with Hydra. And the point too where there are some parts Bison himself doesn't remember at all but his body and psyche do. We can sympathise and everything but we never truly understand it. Do I think Josiah is the only person who understands? I don't think so either. Not to discredit her experience or whatever but I don't think what she went through was entirely the same or close because I still do think she's still a spy got them (maybe that's me not liking her lol). But the fact is, she's the closest person who could understand, in Brennon's eyes anyway. Does that excuse everything he's done? Absolutely fucking not. But does that information change how I judge him? Of course. I still truly believe that there's more to this onion (because layers ha ha) than meets the eye. He still fucking fucked up and he still has so much work to do on himself before he can even have the chance to earn Pocket's trust again. But I can give him some grace, and understand that his mind probably wasn't in the best place at that time which led to bad decisions.

I saw some people claiming that Blair never truly loved Pocket, and while I can see why that seems to be the fact because he does have a shitty way of showing it, sometimes, we can't stop ourselves from hurting the people we love (to an extent obvs. if they cheat & are abusive & toxic etc. leave their ass. but again, in the context of the fic, it's definitely more complicated than that). That's just reality. But what truly matters is what we do after the fact. Not that it makes it okay, I'm not saying that at all. It's still not an excuse to hurt people and be a shitty person. What I mean is that not everything is as black & white as it seems. In this case, there's no such thing as 100% evil and 100% good (except Judas who has a special place in hell). These are flawed, broken, and complicated characters, and you the amazing writer has shown that greatly. So we should all take that into account instead of just saying this person is 100% wrong so he deserves to die, or This person is 100% right so I'm just going to support everything they're doing no matter the consequences even if it hurts other people. So I do think he truly and utterly loves Pocket with everything that he is, but when you've got someone who's out of his time, has so many issues, isn't in the best mental and emotional state, has been through so much trauma and has self-destructive tendencies, do we really think he knows what to do with such a powerful emotion? Better yet, he does love her, but in this case, it's just not enough. Love isn't the only thing that keeps a relationship healthy after all. But I will say, that love will also be the one that will push him to do better.

Now, with Mr. Bunana and his Audacity to barge onto Pocket like that. The hypocrisy is outstanding. Gold medal worthy. But then again, he did see them leave the party after basically humping each other on the dance floor, he did see Steve leave her bedroom and he did see Pocket in Steve's shirt. When you're already insecure as hell and have fucked up one too many times, I can't blame him for jumping to conclusions. I also can see how distraught he was though, and not to be mean, but he does kinda need this for him to wake the fuck up. And again, the audacity to cause a whole scene about it too as if he has any right. But, unpopular opinion, I don't see an asshole at all. I see a broken man who's spiraling out of control and is hitting rock bottom as we speak. He's grasping at straws, he has no idea what to do with himself, and he's lost everything, and for a man who's been at war for the last 70 years, what's the one thing he knows best? Fighting. So, he fights.

The toxic masculinity was so on point. When Pocket picked up the water I was cheering this whole time lmao. Absolute wild animals these men sometimes. She honestly should just have a spray bottle in hand, spray them when they act up. Also, that line about where's Steve hand was made me CACKLE. Like yes queen. They deserve to break each other's face a lil for thinking they can decide for Pocket and what she does with her body honestly.

Lastly, because goodness me this is long. We're off on this mission, and I really do share Tony's concerns (and he's so sweet and caring about Pocket. I'm glad he's by her side. Also can't wait to see how they met!) This mission is going to take a toll on Pocket more than she's going to expect. She's using this as a distraction with what's been going on recently, and that's not good. Because I don't think she fully realises the gravity of what she's about to go into. I'm thankful that Sam is there. But I just know, something about this mission is going to go so bad for Pocket. Maybe not physically, and the mission would end up a success, but mentally and emotionally? ESPECIALLY when she's already on a fragile state right now? Sigh. I won't like it, but shit about to hit all the fans.

Anyway. You're amazing as always. I always enjoy getting to pick at the details of your writing and it makes me giddy with excitement that I actually manage to nail some points hahaha. Keep doing what you're doing and don't forget to take care of yourself!

P.S. I love Sam and Pocket's friendship. I need more of them being best buds please and thanks.

— Jnon 🤍

Beloved Jnon, Please do not apologize for being "late!" It actually worked out in my favor, as I have been staying up too long into the night to respond to you, so this actually works well, because it's mid-day here and I actually got some sleep. Not enough, but I'm working on it lol. Reading Unwanted first thing in the morning sounds like a rough way to start your day! All the angst!

Yeah, Pocket had absolutely no reaction with Steve, lol. It was seriously all the MDMA, making her crave physical touch, and when she kind of came down more to herself and realized it was Steveoli who was doing the touching? Well, let's just say it was dryer than the Sahara down there, lol. Ah, the little details that don't make it into the finished work! I can confidently say though, that if Pocket hadn't stopped it, herself, Steve most definitely would not have. Steve needed to hear Pocket break down in front of him, to see how she was affected by all of this. It was a wakeup call for him, and it allowed me to say some of the stuff I wanted to say about Bucky's state of mind without having Bucky say it himself (because who could believe him?!?) In later chapters, we'll get some first-hand insight into what kind of experience Juggalo had with Hydra, herself, and how those experiences shaped her connection with Barnstormer (intentionally vague wording here). I so fucking love how you are on the same page with me re: Bucky's mental state and motivations. Fucking love it.

And he is 100% flawed in this fic. He's trying to navigate this new world he doesn't understand, with all these sexual and social rules he doesn't understand. And I'd like to take a moment to point out that, in my timeline, Bucky has maybe spent a fraction of the time in Wakanda that he does in the MCU. Like, right now, in the story, it's about 2019-ish, meaning our Bucket left Wakanda sometime in 2017, probably less than a year after the events of Civil War, meaning that our Bucky has not done NEARLY as much mental healing as Canon!Bucky. So, when Canon!Bucky tells Cap that he's a "semi-stable 100 year old man" in Infinity War (which I just rewatched last night for Unbroken research!), our Bucket is even less so.

Right now, if there's one thing he's absolutely sure of, it's that he loves Pocket. But you're right, love is not longer enough here. Not for the two of them, not any more. Pocket's already realized that, and Bucket's just starting to.

Let's talk Bucky Barnes and the Audacity of this Bitch! When he barged into Pocket's room to accuse her of sleeping with Steve, he definitely wasn't thinking about what he'd done. He was thinking about confronting evidence of the worst thing he could imagine. It was one thing for him to conjure up the idea in his head, but it's driving him absolutely crazy to see physical evidence of it with his own eyes (even if its just circumstantial physical evidence!). I want to say, though, that even after he thought they slept together after her party, HE DID NOT go running to Jackrabbit for comfort-- I think that's progress! :D Right now, all he knows is how to fight, and how to hurt-- himself, and other people. It's all he's done for 75 years. Pocket was beyond livid over the two of them fighting about her, without really seeming to care about her-- just who got access to her body. Girl lived that life too long as a child; she was done with it long ago. I do like to imagine, though, that after she and Sam left, Bucky and Steve started fighting again, but this time they're all wet from being dowsed in water, so their shirts are sticking to them, and the fight is very homoerotic.... Finally, Tony's concerns for Pocket are very, very valid. He's kind of forcing her to regress, and he's really scared about what that might do to her mentally. Not to mention, she's putting herself in a dangerous position where women are being kidnapped and trafficked. He's got the utmost faith in her; it's just everyone else he doesn't trust. I love getting your messages, I love discussing the story with you! It makes me so happy! I promise there's one more good Sam/Pocket scene!

[eneiryu]

Hi! would you ever write a fic about theo that's more focused on his mental health? a lot of fics I read are more about his relationships with the pack, and while those are awesome i would love to see more about theo overcoming all the trauma the dread doctors and being in hell gave him. a lot of people see that in the show he seems fine and confident and write him that way, but i think there's a lot that could be written about his mental health.

Hmmm. So this ask was interesting to me and I spent some time thinking about how I’d want to answer, because the answer is “yes,” but also: my hope is that I’ve been doing this all along? That was certainly my intention, anyway.

To me, Theo is a profoundly traumatized individual, but a large part of his trauma is that he isn’t going to make it obvious, because in the circumstances that traumatized him, making it obvious either would have gone ignored (at best) or would have resulted in additional trauma (at worst). Put more bluntly, if he’d acted like anything other than a supremely competent spy and their errand-boy, the Dread Doctors would have killed him, and/or experimented on him more to make him more “successful.”

So in my fics, he acts supremely competent and like an errand-boy, even though his “masters” have changed, and Scott and the rest of the pack would be horrified to realize that Theo has mentally replaced the Doctors with the pack (possibly without knowing it). This is the whole core of i know all sorts: that Theo is only allowed a place as long as he’s useful, and Liam and Scott and the others finally, explicitly telling him that the opposite is true, is the resolution. Or in all waves, where he is both (1) homeless, and (2) making himself actually, physically ill to try and help the pack, and hiding all of it from everyone because his self-worth and trust issues are so firmly ingrained.

I also see him as someone with supremely screwed-up body and physical intimacy issues, because first and foremost he was an experiment, let alone a spy. If the Dread Doctors wanted to strap him down and cut him open, they not only could, but (I assume, and write into my fics) did. And at a certain point, I think (and write) that he realized that there could be a more subtle way of fulfilling his orders, namely: using himself and his body as a bait, or as payment. That’s showed up in a lot of my fics, including the knock at the door, called to the shepherd, long time coming, etc. And more recently, I think has started showing up in how Theo ends up defaulting to his wolf-form a lot of the time, so he can give and receive genuine, healthy physical intimacy in a way removed and distinct from how it used to traumatize him (listen, that’s where language ends, the only other sound’s the break, to an extent).

Probably the most explicit fic series I’ve written in this vein is trade the hollow and trade wind divination, where Theo not only flat out flees Beacon Hills and ends up living this half-life (until Liam finds him), but fully expects and is prepared to let Argent kill him when Argent tracks him down later.

As for the healing, I hope that’s been coming through as well, primarily in how he’s reacted to, rather than how he reacts. Namely: Liam, and Scott, and the rest of the pack giving him the space, and the patience, and the coaxing, to realize that he’s safe, that he can finally relax, and doesn’t have to be “on” or perfect all the time. That they know something is wrong, but try to wait for Theo to be ready to address it rather than forcing it (knock at the door, all waves); that they not only positively respond to him spending time in his wolf-form, but act like it’s completely normal and in fact encourage him to do it when they can tell it’s needed (listen, that’s where language ends).

Anyway, all of this is not to say that I wouldn’t write a fic more focused on his mental health, but that I’ve been doing my best to do that all along, by weaving it in and making it, at heart, the core of most/all of my stories. And if nothing else, that I appreciate the opportunity your ask provided to think through it and write it all out.

But! If you have an idea for a specific fic, or aspect of his mental health to explore, I’m always open to prompts. 😊

[acourtofthought]

I left that anon about Elain and choice, because it’s a genuine barrier for me in getting on board with the elucien ship (when I’d otherwise want to), and I was genuinely interested in your insight, and wasn’t going to reply further.

But, your own reply (and the other anon) kinda reminded me why I don’t really engage with this sort of thing. I never said I was an elriel, or that I’m rooting for Elain and Az - because I’m not. People in these ship wars seem to jump to such extremes… idk how you all endure it for so long, it’s exhausting.

My point is; I personally believe that so much of Elain’s character arc is about choice and agency (echoed by the Blodeuwedd mythology). I’m sure many of you would also agree. Because of this, it just doesn’t seem thematically fitting that Elain would then end up with Lucien. As I said, even if Elain believes she is choosing Lucien - how much of that is of her own free will, or because the Cauldron is telling her to? Fate is the opposite of choice. If everything we do is influenced by fate - or some higher power - that’s not choice.

And sure, it worked for other characters - but those characters seemingly didn’t have the same themes of choice and agency that Elain does (or at least not to the same extent). They weren’t stuck in a love triangle between their mate and another man (with that man asking “what is the Cauldron is wrong?” - quite literally questioning fate), as well as introducing the implications of rejecting the mating bond, the Blood Duel etc. And again, those characters had already established their relationships before the mating bond came into play; it was already clear they had chosen each other - or were soon about to - so the mating bond wasn’t forcing anything.

Which leads me to another point I have; if SJM plans for Elain and Lucien to be endgame, why reveal that they are mates so early on? Why introduce Az as a rival love interest - one of the most popular male characters in the series, beloved by the fandom (so it’s not like a Tamlin vs Rhys situation)? And most of all - Elain is a seer. If she can see into the future, then she’d be able to see her happily ever after with Lucien. So, then why does she avoid him? Why does Elain kiss and pursue Azriel, knowing full well that she’ll end up mated and married to the man who sleeps a mere couple of metres away from her? It just doesn’t add up.

I could potentially see it working if Lucien or Elain reject the bond, and are then sent on some sort of mission together, where they’d start from scratch, form a friendship (without the influence of the mating bond), and realise they truly love each other. Then you’d have an interesting story line about trying to get the mating bond back - or deciding you don’t need it at all. But that’s just my take on it.

It's interesting that you're making comments about others engaging in ship wars but you're doing the exact same thing with your Anons. Being anti a ship for whatever reason is still engaging in ship wars because you've taken quite a bit of time and put quite a bit a thought into why you don't think a ship will happen.

It's also interesting that you claim you have no interest in ship wars yet you come to a page that you know is 100% Pro Elucien and try to start a debate.

I'm open to debate that's not the problem. But don't climb up on that high horse and act like you're above it all while doing the exact opposite.

And you say you're not Pro E/riel but you realize Elain is ending up with someone right? These are romance books, it is confirmed Elain will get a book and that it will be a traditional romance so if you're not Pro E/riel or Pro Elucien then I'm a bit confused. Maybe you want a new love interest for her? I'm sorry if I assumed you're Pro E/riel but I have to say your Anons seem like you lean that way. And I definitely didn't get the impression you were interested in my insight regarding Elain and choice since you have to know how much I believe Lucien is still a choice whereas it's clear you don't.

Also, Elain's powers don't work the way you're claiming. She doesn't have clear visions and she doesn't decide what she gets to see. Otherwise she would have been able to tell Feyre and Nesta, "be prepared because you're going to be attacked in the library" or she could have easily looked into the future and seen whether they would win the war. Or she could have insisted her vision tell her where Koschei hides his soul. So no, I don't think she knows with any sort of certainty what her future with Lucien holds. If anything, she's had a flash of a vision that remains unclear.

I disagree that Elain's character is any more about choice or agency than any other FMC of an SJM novel. They all start fighting against what fate had in store for them and they grew into what was always meant to be but after the heroine accepted it because it's what she decided she wanted. Not because she was forced into it.

And Elain isn't stuck in a love triangle. She wanted Graysen and was rejected by Graysen but not yet over him. He is who she loved and had not yet recovered from when she fell into a minor crush with Az.

It is canon that Elain was not over Graysen in ACOFAS. She still silently mourned him and wanted a HUMAN MAN. Cue Az who she doesn't have a bond with, therefore has no strings attached. Az who looks decidedly HUMAN without his shadows and rounded ears (which Feyre notes) and whose shadows tend to disappear around Elain. I mean, I'm not a rocket scientist or anything but that math seems to math to me.

She developed a crush on Az because it's a distraction to the real things she's still not over.

That's not a love triangle, that's Elain not being ready to face the hard truths and really let go of her past.

Not to mention whatever she was willing to start with Az (which is not love, they had barely spoken and only shared a few glances as of late and were about to have a first kiss - again, not love) she walked away from considering he told her they were a mistake and she made the decision to return his gift to him versus her refusal to return her ring to Graysen.

Whatever was going on with Az was for the wrong reasons but that's ok because she's getting used to this new world and trying to decide what she wants and where she belongs.

But there's no love triangle right now because Lucien isn't involved. She hasn't been ready to truly get to know him but that doesn't mean it can't change in her book. And that statement right there PROVES she's had a choice. She has made the choice to ignore the bond right now. She could continue making the choice to ignore the bond for the rest of her life. However, she could also MAKE THE CHOICE to try and get to know Lucien to see what she thinks of him. Right now, the bond has no sway over her decisions which means if she gets to know Lucien, it's not going to be because the bond made her. I can be physically attracted to another person (without making the conscious decision to be) but I still have a choice in whether I actually hook up with them or get to know them. As I'm married, I'm obviously not going to do that but being drawn to something, whether through basic chemistry and biology or a mother blessed mating bond doesn't take away my ability to make decisions for myself. And that seems to be the problem with anyone who wants to cry that the bond takes away Elain's choice. She may not necessarily be able to help being physically drawn to Lucien but her mind is still her own. She can still choose what to do with that draw and right now she's proving to herself that she does have control over not giving into it. Which means if / when she gets to know Lucien it will be her brain making that decision.

"Which leads me to another point I have; if SJM plans for Elain and Lucien to be endgame, why reveal that they are mates so early on? Why introduce Az as a rival love interest - one of the most popular male characters in the series, beloved by the fandom (so it’s not like a Tamlin vs Rhys situation)"

A. I hate to tell you but Az is acting toward Elain exactly like Tamlin initially did with Feyre so you mentioning that to me wasn't helping your case. And he's not questioning Fate because he loves Elain. He's questioning Fate because he's jealous Lucien is breaking up the "brothers." His two brothers got sister mates and he got left out. That's ALL Azriel is focusing on. If it was love, he wouldn't care if he had a mating bond with Elain, his POV would have been spent talking about how charming Elain is (which he said about Gwyn), how much different she is since he first met her after her trauma (which he said about Gwyn), how proud he is of her standing up to Nesta or how she makes him laugh, maybe something about how Elain saved his best friend in the war. But there's none of that. He's put out because he can't understand why Lucien got something and he didn't. It has NOTHING to do with Elain as an individual and everything to do with Az being salty he was the last kid picked for dodgeball.

B. Az is not a rival love interest, he's a rebound, as I've stated above. Az and Elain aren't real with one another, they aren't open, they don't have the difficult conversations. He can't even confirm that he's over Mor to his friend of 500 years so I think it's pretty obvious Elain and Az are in denial and they just naturally used one another to avoid their problems. And it doesn't matter what near kiss they almost shared (between two main characters) because it will never be the thing Az needs to really move forward from. Az and Elain are a blip compared to his past with Mor and Elain is probably not even staying in the NC so there's no lasting drama there. An almost kiss means they can still revert to a friendship, no harm done. If Cassian can sleep with Mor than later say she's like a sister, I'm not worried about a lasting conflict between Elain and Az.

C. If SJM planned for Elucien to be endgame, why reveal they're mates so early on?

2016:

2017:

When did Silver Flames come out again? Oh that's right, 2021.

SJM announced all the way back in 2016 that the moment Nesta and Cassian sat down together, she knew they were endgame, even decided where they'd vacation yet in ACOFAS, she wrote this:

I mean gosh, why would SJM have ever told us Nessian was a sure thing so early on only to have her sleep with other males and tell Cassian she wants no part of him, his friends, or his life?

I'm sorry but every point you bring up has a valid counter argument considering she confirmed Elucien and Nessian all the way back in 2016 yet both sisters had a "thing" with other males after that and the one that got a book still ended up with Cassian as SJM originally planned. Elain and Nesta may handle things differently because of their personalities but it boils down to the same thing. Fate placed them in the paths of their Mates and they fought like hell against it. But that doesn't mean they can't decide it's what they do want in the end (for the right reasons which is WHO their Mate is as an individual and not JUST because they're Mates).

It doesn't matter how early SJM told us they were Mates because she was still planning on creating obstacles that led to a "will they, won't they?" Because she has half the fandom wondering if she changed her mind and the other half seeing the clues as to how they'll work out and why E/riel isn't a real love possibility.

Fate is not the opposite of choice. Fate is where life leads you and you decide what you're going to do with it.

I don't even live in New York but I met my husband there on New Years Eve, the busiest time of the year, while I was dating someone else.

Within an hour, I knew what a real relationship was supposed to feel like, went home and immediately broke up with my ex.

My husband and I have now been together since January, 2011.

I believe that was Fated. Had I been too scared to take a chance on someone who lived out of state, I may have missed out on this wonderful life I have.

It was still MY choice to accept where Fate led me just as it is still Elain's choice to accept or not accept the person Fate placed in front of her.

She's not ready because she lost something immeasurable when she was Made but when / if she is, it will be because SHE decides to accept Lucien. Not because anyone says she has to, not even Fate. Fate is not saying "I demand you be with Lucien else I will rain destruction upon your family!" All Fate did was say, "I believe this person is your match, do with it what you will". It's no different than a friend trying to set you up with someone they feel would be perfect for you.

Elain experienced some serious traumas and any reader who wants to focus on why she's not making decisions on her bond right now or thinking she's in any place to fall in love with Az is not allowing her to heal in a healthy way. She needs to grow into herself before getting to know Lucien and sure, maybe that growing includes nearly making out with a broody bat boy who isn't remotely close to having his shit together but, that's ok. It's all leading to her finally finding where she belongs and what she wants once she's in the right frame of mind to make those decisions.

SJM is a Fated Mates author so if you dislike the trope, that's your prerogitive, but you may want to look elsewhere for your reading material.

I personally think knowing Lucien is her Mate creates more of a choice than Feyre had with Rhys. Sure Feyre became friends with him but she tells us she was drawn to him even while with Tamlin. She had no idea why that was which means she fell for Rhys without the full picture of what was driving that. At least Elain will have the opportunity to really sift through what she's feeling and decide how much of it comes from instinct over her own heart.