#and i mean writing in general is always that way! and im always writing so many things
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hello! how do you find consistent friends in fandom? as in, how do you find people who stick with you through different fandoms and listen and read your work. also, how long have you been writing for and how long did it take you to get so good at writing and character analysis.... your work is such an inspiration to me, genuinely one of my top 3 authors across ao3. i hope the writing goes well!
hey! this is really sweet, thank you very much for your lovely kind words. 💖
re: friendship: i don't mean to be a downer about this so i hope it doesn't come across this way, but i do think the concept of friends where you follow each other through all your fandoms and continue to read each other's work etc kind of... either doesn't exist or is just a rare phenomenon and not a 'type' of friend per se more than it is something that just happens out of luck. i am lucky enough to have friendships which have persisted through all of us changing fandoms, but the reason those friendships last is actually because we found connections that went beyond common interests. i think sharing a fandom/interest is great as an initial point of connection and a way to meet, but for a relationship to last, you need to have a deeper bond than both being into the same thing--so contrary to what you've asked about (oops sorry) those friendships im speaking of only last because we didn't follow each other into different fandoms, really. we didn't have to. along the same vein, i'd respectfully argue that it wouldn't be productive or fair of me to group 'reading my work' in as an element of friendship, so to speak--i definitely don't expect my friends to read my fic and vice versa, we all understand that we can support each other in our creative pursuits and lives in general / in the abstract without needing to be a fan of the same things or even necessarily being fans of each other's work (although of course it's always nice). i know this doesn't really answer your specific question but i hope it doesn't come across as pessimistic as it might sound. i truly and genuinely believe it's a positive thing that the idealised friendgroup traipsing through fandoms together doesn't really exist (or if it does exist, it's luck and not something to shoot for in itself), because this just tells me to look out for these great opportunities to form bonds that last beyond superficial interests.
in terms of how to make those friendships to begin with, im honestly even less help. my friendships kind of just happened to me. im actually quite terrible at reaching out to people and i am notoriously difficult to reach myself hahaha so honestly all the credit for my friendships goes to my friends for being patient and sticking with me despite that. i am honestly just very lucky in that i've been able to talk out loud into the void and have had wonderful people reach out to me because of it, but that's hardly a reliable strategy... i guess i'd encourage you to be more like my friends, who are the anime protagonists wielding the power of friendship to my prickly antagonist, or whatever. oh another thing to remember i guess is that some friendships just don't last this way and will stay within fandoms and may peter out, and that's ok. i don't consider those relationships less real or valuable for being less lasting.
re: writing: i want to caveat that i don't think i'm fairly able to say (or comfortable saying) that i'm particularly good at writing or character analysis, certainly not to an extent that i'd be willing to hold myself up as an example of it, but i really appreciate that you feel that way about my work and am incredibly honoured to be considered an inspiration in any capacity!!
with that disclaimer made, i'll do my best to answer for whatever it's worth. i've liked writing ever since i was a very little kid, but i will credit any actual progress i've made in developing the skill to writing fanfic because i think that being able to focus on building character and logical flow in plot progression over other things like creating characters, worldbuilding, inventing plots wholesale, etc--which has allowed me to sort of expedite those skills in particular and which i think are helpful in writing more broadly. (this also answers the 'character analysis' part specifically--when you don't have to/get to invent a character, you have to spend more time taking them apart.) anyway, i started writing fic about twelve or thirteen years ago, and there have been periods within that where i've progressed faster or slower depending what's going on in my life haha. i do think time played a massive role in any skill developments i've made, but i also know people take less time or more time to make similar progress (caveat again: progression is subjective, this is very approximate), so i think the other key ingredient besides time is engagement. if it's helpful, i went into that a little bit more here, but as stated i have a lot more to learn and would never present myself as an expert lol
#asks#sorry god i dont know if this is remotely helpful. probably not.#i dont know how to express in a measured way that im possibly the worst and least helpful person to ask about friendship#im very 'tch... friends... what the hell is up with that shit...' and then my beloved friends go 'ok dude' and care abt me anyway#so. i am sorry. im very little help on this front. ive learned a lot about 'friendship' in the abstract FROM my friends but#very little about how to MAKE friends like on purpose because my friends just kind of happened to me. because im lucky?#but i will say the perspective ive gained on friendship and what one can realistically expect from it has been very valuable#and has led me to value my friendships even more#anyway... tch... friendship... what the hell is up with that sh#rookthots#hi my friends reading this i love you
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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#thinking of dinosaurs and troodontids were my favorite dinosaurs as a child#when younger i had a real full troodontid tooth fossil that meant a lot to me#for a time we lived within a few kilometers of hadrosaur sites and troodontid sites#while wider general area had many sites of recovery for the big celebrities like tyrannosaur and multiple dromaeosaurs#at that time troodontids were kinda infamous for i think the depiction in some childrens field guides and dino books#which depicted like a fantasy speculative humanoid troodontid based on 1980s model at Canadian Museum of Nature in ottawa#anyway would visit a small local paleo center a lot and woman in her 70s or 80s ran the counter of their center and rock shop#one day she asked me what my fave dino was and i said troodon so she pulled out the tooth and just gifted it to me#in little black case size of ring box with padding and transparent plastic viewing cover kinda like laminate for displaying a trading card#tooth got stolen from out my vehicle while giving some people a ride while at university before i got too poor for tuition#later during first year of pandemic owner of my storage unit died and new property owners threw away everything i ever owned#i was homeless anyway lost job due to early pandemic closures and had to allocate any money to insulin and other prescrip meds#but wouldve found a way to save my things if the new owners had contacted me#they threw out photoalbums y backpacking gear y books y musical instruments y clothes y artwork y camera y all family keepsakes#and all childhood treasures like souvenirs and gifts and school awards and writing portfolios and all the little memories#which i was always sentimental about as child#from earliest age my room looked like a natural history museum with plants and maps and library of field guides#and rocks and field trip keepsakes and all kinds of little animal figurines and mother had painted room in forest greens and browns#to feel like a forest and among the succulent plants and a globe sat the troodon tooth#parents passed when i was a child#never near any family and were always moving never got to settle into proper stable place then father passed after long sad illness#and mother put in so much effort but she passed few years later and i could not take care of myself or my remaining material possessions#and so im still quite hurt having nothing whatsoever remaining of my childhood or school friends or mother or life generally#and when trying to process grief my thoughts often come back to the troodontid tooth as a focal point a distillation of what was lost#even when young i knew it was advised not to become too connected to material physical possessions#but still there are some small little trinkets in our lives that seem to hold so much meaning and i tortured myself for losing that tooth#thinking about troodon reminds me of childhood
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maybe i didnt need to worry about anything, maybe i just had to make the comic
#quail talks#hi 🫶 i am just excited and feeling such euphoria rn#i just wrapped up one of the last pages in this opening scene and im so !!!!!!!!!!#i have about 20 pages ahead sketched and i'm slowly working through it between homework and general life drudge#its so wonderful..........i mean. i knew i always loved comics. this is technically my 4th#but this is my BIG ONE you know. the one i am Coloring. and its longer than 40 pages#the one i want to Periodically Release (i have no idea when i will be- i want to make sure i am far enough into it! backlog!!)#but i do plan on releasing it along the way of producing#i was so so so stressed out about Planning and Scripting and oh goddd is the story even GOOD enough.#hey. claire. (gripping her shoulders) you've been working on this story for 4 years. you have plenty planned and outlined i promise#and the story will continue to change!! im excited to be rangling this beast along the way#i just had to get started and im so glad i have#it might take my 4 more years to complete- but does a story ever finish truly?? its about the process......................................#and i dont need to worry about the story being Perfect- i am only 21. this is not the last story i will ever write lol#it just feels like a door in my brain has been opened that has always been supposed to be opened#i hope you guys like it as much as i do when i do release it :3
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my zatanna is transfem btw
#shes stated as unlabeled in my carrd bc i have my own thoughts on homo magi gender & sex and i cant like...#put all of that into my one-line bio so shes unlabeled (which she'd say herself if u were to ask!) bc its the most accurate to her feelings#but ill always be associating the trans(/fem) flag w/ her bc its also true#need to write that homo magi thing out tho dont i...long sigh.#that means it has to be coherent and i cant end it with “u get me?”.....longer sigh#me saying that is not in anyway implying that ill work on it any time soon whatsoever btw#just take note that i will write my own origin & general identity for the homo magi. it might take canon influences but yeah#giovanni is definitely a man who had homo magi blood in him but was raised in modern society and norms and therefore expectations and such#he worked to wield and harness magic as a tool (while he still appreciated it its different than direct descendants!)#while sindella has a more larger connection and life to magic itself being a direct descendant. love the idea of being made of magic!!#has a natural synchronization with magic/energy/soul/etc and its own way of enlightenment#they had managed to fall in love which is so sweet but they experience the life of magic completely differently!#zee has a natural disconnection from gender norms & such due to sindella but she still GREW UP in modern society w/ gio#homo magis have an innate agenderness to them perchance......idk wtf im saying im high as bawls#either way untuck queen xoxo
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time's prophecy to 13 is like whatever, i generally dont really think abt it bc when i do it just feels a little like a contrivance to cut thasmin short, or more specifically to give 13 a reason to formulate why thasmin is getting cut short ie it just feels to me mainly as an in-universe way to say "hey so like we've got 3 episodes left theres not much we can do here"
but the other day i Was thinking abt it, or like it crossed my mind, that scene, that warning, that does little except verbalise to 13, with her own mouth, You Have No More Time
and i was like, thats actually like exactly what trauma does right? like that phenomenon where you are just convinced for no real concrete reason that youre dying within the next 1-5 years? i think i read that thats a ptsd thing once but idk. but you know the feeling, like, where youre stuck in the past and the future refuses to unfold? like it's just stuck. time is not moving forward. like there's a wall right in front of you and youre just like, im gonna walk into the wall. and maybe you feel like the wall is 1 year away or 5 but regardless, that 1 or 5 year can pass but the wall doesnt move. you know what i mean? like youre convinced you wont see your 20th birthday but youre actually already 25. just doesnt sink in.
i think thats what time's warning to 13 is. just the articulation of her own belief that shes running out of time. or that it had already run out before she even started. she starts her relationship with her companions with the assumption that it's temporary, even after they board for real: "you wont come back the same"
and if you look at it that way i think it's easier to deal with the jump from 13 to 14 or 15. not for yaz, obviously, shes still gonna be super upset abt it. but if 13 really genuinely entirely can not imagine the future that 14 has, can not imagine a future at all, like, it makes sense.
maybe she felt like she was dying but instead of the sentiment 10 expressed "some new man goes sauntering away and i am dead" she just stopped after the first sentence like "everything i am dies." stop. theres no After. theres nothing to imagine. theres no keeping yaz with her, theres no going back for her either. theres no continuation. theres no next. everything i am dies. and the world stops.
nightvale voice: death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.
but it's doctor who. she is the universe. what happens after the heat death of the universe? are you imagining settling down with a family who loves you? are you imagining heaven? after the heat death of the universe? the doctor doesnt believe in god.
#anyway#just making explanations for myself for things i dont like that much#what else is blogging for#but writing this fic abt 13s.......deathwish#or the general deathwish air on board her tardis#it's not just her#but the way she specifically. as im writing her. is so selfdestructive#running toward death in an almost counterphobic sort of way#a 'get it over with'#like being on the scaffold with the noose around your neck and waiting for them to pull the lever that knocks the floor out#like it's...seconds. minutes. idk how long executions last but it's too long. it's always gonna be too long to wait#and then theres this sweet naive girl who doesnt understand your circumstances bc youve never explained them bc you dont want her to#understand probably. you just kinda want her to be there so you can see her face as the last thing and then tell her to turn around#mostly you want that. to tell a sweet naive girl to turn around and save herself. from what you are. from becoming you.#but she wants to save you. shes convinced she can save you. but you dont want her to save you bc that means becoming you. thats what you do#and youre like yasmin can you not see the noose. but she didnt hear them list the crimes youve been convicted of. so no. she doesnt see.#anyway. i think thats whats going on with 13. in the last months.#to be entirely normal abt it
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sry for posting so much im like introspective or something
#its bc i made myself sad in my journal again -_- wtvr.#also semi related not rly at all i guess but i do applogize for talking in third person sometimes i know its annoying it genuinely is just#bc like. i have a disconnect with me and with connor and everything and i do tend to thjnk of myself as a seperate entity than like. idk#it is me i know that but when i say Connor im referring to sort of the like. concept of him i guess. and sometimes what i say applies to me#but usually its just about him you know.#but i rly try not to there was a period of time last year where my mental sort of#like. the way i thought about myself was never i or me or we it was always it. like it is going to go clean the bathroom now. it needs to#eat. recently theyve started to be more like that again but i try not to post like that bc i dont want to seem weird or something. not that#theres anything wrong Another general rule of thumb whenever i say something is weird i mean it only for me and for the absurdly long list#of attributes i as connor am supposed to have and how im supposed to be percieved but that list isnt rly realistic for anybody else and#things that r evil when i do them r generally entirely neutral or positive when other ppl do them its judt umm. this is me being#selfcentered again i guess sorry. i always make it abt me in these ... my diary is even worse its always just abt me its very selfish. but#wtvr. not in a dismissive way it is bad i need to work on not being so selfcentered i just use whatever as like a. im done thinking about#this thought or discussing it. but it does come off as sort of dismissive which isnt what i mean .#but anyways. so when i am writing a post and i almost refer to myself as It instead of inor.me i usually edit it to just say connor or him#or whatever. but only sometimes sometimes i am just talking about connor.
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being a busy ass student with student journalism gigs on one hand and comm academic shit on the other is very interesting because with the jam-packed life I live I only really get to breathe at like late lAAATE night when no one can bother me about my responsibilities other than myself. that being said that's also when creative brain goes into overdrive and now misfits finally has the final draft of its opening number woo
#so heres the thing kasi the opening number of that damn project hAS BEEN THE HARDEST TO WRITE#i believe at this point there had been morethan 10 drafts gjdjd because like heres the thing with that number specifically#misfits is a fourth wall breaky show within a show and the 5 narrators (and 1 misfit which i'll get to in a bit) knowingly perform#to appease the audience. hence the opening number throughout the years has reflected that - a performance that breaks the barrier between#audience and stage. even when misfits wasnt a show withjn a show concept this had always been the general treatment so that the audience#actually GETS whats happening - but i always come to changing it because well i also wanted to add foreshadowing factors: somehing that#suggests that the show isn't actually all that it seems. previous drafts had this show through the typical Tagalog - Real#and English - Scripted element in the show - language being used to determine authenticity. however that begs the question of how to#properly utilize the Misfits in the opening number - given that two of them dont know about the Show while the other is confused#and then at 2 am i remembered Hermes from Hadestown and boop a lightning bulb#instead of opting for opening numbers that had hints of sabotage or theatrical malfunctions that suggests that the show is Not What It Seems#i thought - why not have it 'malfunction' at the start and have it introduce the wrong character first 5 minutes before the Narrators come#so basically after the Producers (represented through um P.A. voices smth like that) welcome everyone - what is supposed to be the#introduction of the Narrators first ends up as the introduction of the 3rd Misfit (Zeke - 18 - nb) who appears genuinely lost#they appear genuinely in distress though they keep themselves composed at the realization that they are facing an Audience#and they Know this because he was formerly a Narrator as well - though at this point in the story nobody (bar one) knows that#they decide to take their time in chatting with the audience while charming them using their old Narrator tactics in order to get a grip on#whats going on - being a first step towards how involved the audience will be in the story as Zeke then goes to question them outwardly on#the morals of the story they expect and whether it is ethical to have children forcibly conform to religion in the first place#but they do so in an entertaining Bo Burnham manner - a way that doesnt catch people off guard until They Want To - because ayun he#plays by the rules of the show#this doesnt seem like the 'opening number' yet does it but im getting there fjd because once they sense that the narrators will be on stage#as a memento they teach them to sing a melody that will serve as Zeke's motif - something that will eventually scare the lead Narrator and#the Producers - because whenever the motif is sung it means that someone has Broken a Significant Part of the show#especially since the Motif was um lets say its from a now defunct show the Producers and Zeke and the Lead Narrator used to have#that melody will then be subtly present throughout the entire opening number of the Narrators - which will then be played straight#but with the Misfits make their pre-official-introduction appearances by forming the bridge of the opener using the Motif#thats when we learn of the show being compromised from the very start - especially with the lyrics of the motif expressing doubt in faith#personal shit (ran out of tags whoops but um yea basically its Have The Audience Have A Hint to Whats Going On Through Recognizable Motifs)#(also the motif the audience learns is a melody - Zeke (and the lead narrator) changes the lyrics as they go) (also sorry for the ramble)
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I don’t think I’ll be on this platform anymore, at least for now, due to everything that’s happening. I’d just like to keep away from it and supporting it at all. See you later, maybe.
-heartbeat anon
i understand heartbeat!! safe travels wherever you find yourself!! thank you for sticking around <3333
#putting this in the tags so it doesnt feel like im trying 2 change your mind!#i am definitely not! but what people hafta realize is that every single internet platform is either in support of or silent on israel#on every platform posts are being suppressed. its not just here i assure you#the only way ta....not support ANY large internet platform is just ta not use the internet at all unfortunately#im surprised that so many people were surprised at the news of tumblr's ceo? all ceos suck DICK#people are treating tumblr as if its a unique case and it is definitely NOT LMAO#im happy people feel so passionate about this!! but also ppl are jumping ship 2 twitter and twitters ceo is....from what im hearing#also terrible in this situation??#im afraid almost everywhere on the internet is a similar story.#also....the only way you're really supporting tumblr is if you buy stuff from them#my blog doesnt generate them any profit im not sure where people are hearing this from-#but again. even if it did its the same situation other major platforms are in#that doesnt mean you shouldnt be upset though! continue ta put your best efforts where you can!!#spacie splains#anybeans#heartbeat anon we may never see each other again but i want u ta know that your writing has touched me as well as a lot of people <333#ill always treasure what you gifted me!!#never gonna forget you fr fr#stay safe!! have a good one :>
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pien
#stardust speaking !#anytime i open the comic one folder i see akiras flinching back into reality when mitile calls for figaro and feel everything at once#im normal now#CANNOT WAITTTT TO SEE IT ANIMATED mayhaps animating pt1 is excellent after all#i forgot who does the anime but please add a scene early on where akira cries PLEEEAAASEEEEEEEEEE#ALL ALONE IN A NEW WORLD WHERE UR ONLY COMFORT IS A BOOK WRITTEN BY THE DUDE WHO PREVIOUSLY WAS IN UR POSITION AND HAPPENED TO KNOW JP#AS WELL#(long talk about akira & slowly not clinging to the sages book as they grow closer to the ppl around them = more comfortable)#i should put that kyukyukyurarin here cuz. that one comment about akira arriving alone and leaving alone i dont think i can do it scoobs#i wasnt supposed to talk about this at all. uhhhh q is back on salute emoji. which means i must write more. my beloved drafts im runinng#ALSO im gonna make sure to im ppl the stuff. i missed being annoying.#anyhow my opens r always open. my meme tag is there. gbf stream soon and then proseka YAHOO#which means i need to hurry up with pt2 grrrrrrr theres pt2 specific things i Rly wanna write/address#and i KNOWWWWWW ill want to talk about 4th anni for a billion yrs#i miss the 4th anni ost...........#(spends more time thinking abuot mhyk lov n deepspace au)#GOODNIGHT#actualy the fact akira goes from 'i wanna talk to arthur in case he knows a way for me to go home' to 'i dont want to leave until ive#accomplsihed things here' (and in general the tanabata events of akira hesitating to wish to go home partly cuz wishing for that when#everyone worked so hard to hold a party......is a bit.....and partly cuz they. kinda. do not. want to leave alrdy#gah...
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Hi. Read your fic WHAT THE FUC- (/POS ITS SO GOOD??) BRUH I WENT INTO IT BEING LIKE "oh I'm just curious as to what this'll be, I'm sure it's just like some short self indulgent thing" THEN GOT STABBED LIKE TWELVE TIMES OVER. INSTANT FOLLOW. OH MY GOD.
its actually IS self indulgent! just in the opposite direction! i want him to kiss me so badly but i also want him to hate me until its all he knows its a bit of trouble really
#im going with this not because i want to. but because i want to survive even if its horrible-#but i will also be complaining the whole way through.#alastor did one wrong thing that he thought would've been ok but turns out that of all thing is the-#invisible line he could never cross so oops he's hated forever and ever now nothing to do about that#/kbtalk#TYSM WAHHH WORDS LIKE THIS ARE THE REASON I WRITE SO MUCH#MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!!!! TY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1#and since whenever someone send me an ask like this i just start diving into my thoughts on al and shit-#i have great trouble processing my own worth and the fact other people think of me still makes me go ??#also a general sense of#like very obviously morally corrupt protag but not to the point of murder on their own accord#my favorite thing ever is also#thats why al never get his happy ending fully its always him biting#im very firm on my take of al already its just dif flavor of him#if i want to kiss him i wouldve just kiss him but what about the fun part where he agonized over the idea of loving something so much-#he can die for it but also refusing to lay his ego down for it#to love is to be vulnerable and frail and weak and to accept the unknowing. alastor hates all of the above. in this essay i will-
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/ I can't believe my first 'oc' servant (and i put it on quotes bc its not like i invented the d.evil, and i also mean in general bc I literally can't remember when was the last time I had something close to an oc) is the frigging d.evil
#;ooc#ooc#IN MY DEFENSE;;;!! i had my first-ish oc as p.rometheus but i never found a fc for him; i just reblog memes about p.rometheus in general bu#he's not like; visibly appearing#he's getting his liver eaten somewhere that poor creature (p.rometheus)#i think its also why im like; OH THIS IS KINDA FUN bc its like; free real state#i mean in a way; regardless of whether u write a canon or an oc as how we know; i think at the end; they all become an oc#bc its like; even if u stick close to canon; u always end up adding stuff to the character themselves so its like in a way#they become new; does that make sense?#like there's always the saying that all canon charas are oc's and its true but i also like thinking#all canon charas -become- original creations#bc inevitably a part of u will be conveyed in them; its like; it comes with writing the character#once u decide ur gonna write someone; a part of u/ur thoughts will go to that form of expression u feel me?#of course i dont mean this as in u are ur muse; no i mean that everyone interprets things differently#its like art; like just from the simple fact that ur a human and that we are literally unique (not in the cliche way)ur bringing something#new; its like; it comes iwth the package
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we haven't spoken in a very long time, but i dreamt of you last night, so I couldn't help but think of you. I'm not sure you remember me, but i hope life is treating you well these days. take care.
I'm not sure what to say, but I can promise you I have not forgotten you. My time on Tumblr has been a mess full of hiatuses, I admit, but it will always be a place where I met some very wonderful friends, including you. With 100% honesty, I can say the friends I made here are some of the best friends I have ever had, even though most of us don't talk anymore.
It doesn't matter how often I speak with people, or if we never speak again. I'll always remember you, and I'll always think fondly of you and hope that life is treating you gently and kindly.
I hope you had a nice (or at the very least an okay) dream, and I'm glad to know you still remember me, too, regardless of all else.
Take care, love <3
#it will always amaze me#how the little details in a message can speak such volumes#you dont think of it at the time but the way someone speaks and their writing style really is so unique#im sorry if the message got a little bit general in the middle but i really do mean it#i remember every friend i ever made here. i still check up on a lot of them when i can#its not about talking so much as it is knowing you are all alive and well#and it makes me really sad whenever i stumble across a deactivated account#i miss you though and i hope you are in a better place now#i hope i wasnt annoying in your dream#and i appreciate the bravery it took for you to reach out and check up on me#also i just want to throw out there that i dont find the dream thing weird or anything#some people get creeped out by that but ive actually had three or four people mention i was in their dreams#so its just something im vaguely used to that does not bother me or anything#a guy told me he dreamed we were in a haunted house and i just kept telling him 'its fine dont worry'#and honestly thats pretty accurate. cant complain#anyway~ i hope you are well#i hope you are happy and if you are not happy today i hope you will be happy soon#and however that dream may have gone i hope you have better dreams going forward#beautiful anon#neo answers#ask neo
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thinking about utahimes forehead...
#ooc.#just kidding im thinking of her scar. how unique and interesting of me.#describing it as not a “cataclysmic” event but just something she ended up carrying with her work....#it ruined me in a way it shouldnt#esp with how scars are viewed on women. whatever it was didnt have to be so permanent but it did and it cost her more than it should#even tho contrary to the scar she definitely won that fight. ik its obvious but it needs to be said!#oh to write an analysis on each of my jjk muses and their relation w/ the hierarchy of power and patriarchy#that is in the world...the traditions and how they digest them (or completely disregard them)#utahime seems contradictory. i can definitely see her be that positive influence for the girls she teaches. shes definitely not someone#to explain the shit way the world works and convinces the younger gen to just take it bc thats how its always been.#but also?? to wear the traditional miko attire??? its smthn thats dear to her. whether its thru personal means or for the sake of#upholding familial traditions. which. to carry something that has existed before u were ever imagined. before ur parents were.#that is smthn so strong and intimate so she holds specific traditions close (maybe her own family. not necessarily jjk society as a whole?#but then again i doubt her family is exempt from its prejudice..)#wtf was my main point.#she strives to better the next generation. but shes already stuck in this mold. her role was crafted for her and she is still#trying to break herself out.#those are my late night uta thoughts i might change this entire view later on but i wanted to focus on. um. not maki for two seconds..#can u believe that?? not focus on maki.....unbelievable of me.#its a battle to keep the life of tradition alive and pick apart the mold that has spread over time#oh the experience of living in such a culturally vibrant style that the lines blur. what is what and who do i believe#HER TECHNIQUE BEING A RITUAL DANCE FUCKCFUCKCUFKC
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tbh all things considered im at least glad that my discomfort with totk is what really drove me to really discover a lot of the discussion and analysis into the racism and orientalist stuff and... all of that in the zelda series, since i was halfway aware of it in the past but only more recently started to really look into it further and see what others have to say about it
#salty talks#loz#legend of zelda#just been thinkin abt this after seeing a few more posts abt the way the gerudo and ganondorf are typically treated#like... im not exactly new to learning about the nastier parts of something i like and moving to enjoying it while being critical of it#i mean at this point being a warrior cats fan is the same as being a warrior cats hater#but since warrior cats' issues is more about the misogyny and ableism that was has always been a bit easier for me to pick up on n stuff#while the racism and like in loz is a bit harder (as a white fan of the series) so im just. glad? that theres a lot out there about these#aspects and im trying to better understand the issues with all of this and why its all bad and stuff#like esp with movie worries and my own writing of the ganonbeck fic wherein ive tweaked some gerudo stuff#like. idk if it was a good move to tweak it so that gerudo males are just very rare rather than 1 per century#like rn i plan on them running into another male gerudo in chapter 2 among some other gerudo to make good on that#and like idk if thats a good tweak to the lore or anything while sticking to most of the shit canon has to offer#idk im just glad that im now more actively learning about this stuff and all of that even if ive maybe been a bit tactless in some tag rant#idk what the point of this is ig im just having a little reflection moment abt whats changed in my knowledge of the series' meta elements#since totk crash landed in my general vicinity
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please delete your philosophy gpt-3 post. it's most likely stolen writing.
philosophy?? idk which one you're referring to sorry. also no . if it's the poetry one, see in tags. actually see in tags anyway. actually pls look at my posts on AI too . sorry if it's badly worded i'm very tired :')
#GPT3 is a large language model (LLM) and so is trained on massive amounts of data#so what it produces is always going to be stolen in some way bc...it cant be trained on nothing#it is trained on peoples writing. just like you are trained on peoples writing.#what most ppl are worried about w GPT3 is openAI using common crawl which is a web crawler/open database with a ridiculous amt of data#in it. all these sources will obviously include some published books in which case...the writing isnt stolen. its a book out in the open#meant to be read. it will also include Stolen Writing as in fanfics or private writing etc that someone might not want shared in this way#HOWEVER . please remember GPT3 was trained on around 45TB of data. may not seem like much but its ONLY TEXT DATA. thats billions and#billions of words. im not sure what you mean by stolen writing (the model has to be trained on...something) but any general prompt you give#it will pretty much be a synthesis of billions and billions and billions of words. it wont be derived specifically from one stolen#text unless that's what you ask for. THAT BEING SAID. prompt engineering is a thing. you can feed the model#specific texts and writings and make sure you ask it to use that. which is what i did. i know where the writing is from.#in the one post i made abt gpt3 (this was when it was still in beta and not publicly accessible) the writing is a synthesis of my writing#richard siken's poetry#and 2 of alan turing's papers#im not sure what you mean by stolen writing and web crawling def needs to have more limitations . i have already made several posts about#this . but i promise you no harm was done by me using GPT3 to generate a poem#lol i think this was badly worded i might clarify later but i promise u there are bigger issues w AI and the world than me#feeding my own work and a few poems to a specifically prompt-engineered AI#asks#anon
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