#and i made my own post bc this would be really annoying to add to op's post. anyway (peace signs and fades out)

[yurious-george]

posts that will get me hash tag cancelled (maybe) but these sorts of posts are really interesting to me bc i grew up in a heavily muslim country. i know what it means bc it was just part of the vernacular where i was. i am not immune to cultural appropriation, of course, but when does existing adjacent to a culture become part of your culture? I ask myself that question a lot and random little things like this niggle it.

[slamdunkhcs]

THIS IS SOMETHING I TALKED TO MY FRIEND ABPIT OMCE AND I THOUGHT ITD BE FUNNY TO POST

slam dunk boys on tiktok

Mitsui

Mitsui would lowkey be the mf that posts cringy dancing videos/trends to make himself go viral. BUT IT WOULDNT WORK 😂😂😂😂

And he’d be annoyed asl about that. I feel like he’d be the type to chase clout on social media and he’d be FIENDING for those likes and followers.

I FEEL LIKE HE’D BE A LIL THIRSTY ON TIKTOK — like he wouldn’t be up in girls’ tiktok comments but he would def like and repost any girl he thinks is pretty. AND IF HE WAS FEELING BRAVE, he would find and add the girl’s IG.

His for you page would be a mix of pretty girls, NBA basketball player edits, and like sped up music. He’d be making edits of his own basketball highlights with capcut and posting them 😂

He’d spam videos to Ryota and Sakuragi, especially basketball edits.

Miyagi

Ngl he’d be the only one on the team to fr have clout 😂😂😂

He would post both thirst traps AND photos/videos of ayako. He’d love to post her to the cute TikTok trends (like this). Ayako would jus like the post and not say ANYTHING

One thing about Miyagi is that he dresses GOOD, and he’s gonna show that off! He’d post outfit of the day videos and he’d gatekeep tf out of his clothes. Like he’d straight up ignore any comments asking him where he got his clothes from 💀

He seems like the type to not respond to ANY TikToks he’s sent. Like Sakuragi would SPAM videos and Ryota isnt even opening any of them

If Ayako sends him things on TikTok tho.. OPENED IN LESS THAN A SECOND. He’d have his notifications turned on too so whenever she posts, he is all up in her comments. He’d reply to any other guy in her comments talking some “She’s mine lil bro”

Rukawa

I don’t think Rukawa would be very into social media, but if there’s one social that he has, it’d be TikTok

He’d probably have a completely empty acc with like no pfp, 6 followers, and no posts. He would NOT care about being famous on there, although if he even jus posted a video of himself, he’d instantly go viral.

His fyp would be cats, music recommendations, english lessons, and basketball. That boy has NO interest in anything else on there. And he thinks that the other guys’ videos are corny, especially if he saw Ryota’s thirst traps 💀.

But if he EVERRR made a guest appearance on the guys’ videos, he would instantly blow up. Like all the comments would be asking him who he is, what his @ is, and why he’s so mf fine. He’d make his acc private after that 😂

I like to think that his fan girls would try to find his TikTok and stalk his reposts to see what kind of guy Rukawa is, and what he likes

Sawakita

HE’D DEF BE FAMOUS ON TIKTOK, maybe even more followers than Miyagi.

I think he’d initially blow up bc him and his teammates would do the dance trends for fun during practice, but all the girls would comment things like “That guy in the middle is so fine 😍” or “He’s the only fine one 😭😭”. AND HE’D BE USING IT AS A WAY TO DISS ON THEM, like “None of those girls even want you” 😂 (then he gets his ass whopped)

Ok I don’t think he’s the type to be thirsty but from time to time, he’d def like and repost a pretty girl on his fyp AND HIS FAN GIRLS WOULD NOTICE IT AND GO CRAZY.

He’d def post highlights from his games over famous tiktok sounds (LIKE THE “I done did the impossible” one) and he’d have girls from diff schools start showing up to his games after finding him off TikTok

I feel like he’d jus post on Tiktok for fun? Like he’d post a little bit of everything; basketball, him lipsyncing songs, dance videos with his friends, and even TikTok lives. He wouldn’t really care about being famous on TikTok so he’d jus post whatever makes him feel good yk?

I like to think that he follows the Shohoku boys (even Rukawa somehow) and from time to time, he comments on their posts with “🔥🔥🔥”

[natsmagi]

some more natsume gender posting but i do admittedly get very annoyed when i see people claim natsume hates things related to femininity because thats just. Blatantly not true. i did make a post a little while back talking about natsumes gender generally (might be a lil dated by now but eh), but there are some additional points id like to make

first thing being natsume very much enjoys more feminine things!! particularly things related to baking/gardening because thats what he would do with his mom when he was little!!!! (plus his newly added skill being cooking!)

with this and his undying love for his mom in mind, does it not make sense for natsume to hold feminine activities fondly? not only is he quite good at it, but it reminds him of his childhood spent with his mom!! he looks up to her alot!! and hes also thankful for the childhood he had because it makes him feel more unique. literally how does any of this read as a hatred towards femininity or his upbringing??? his mom is literally his number 1 inspiration and shes the reason he had this upbringing to begin with. Frankly the assumption that he hates feminine things just flat out does not make sense

and he doesnt even necessarily mind things like "-chan" either. though this one depends entirely on the person. for example kanata is allowed to call natsume nacchan but if tsumugi calls him natsume-chan blood will be spilt. to re-emphasize the point made in my previous post; natsumes biggest concern is being viewed as weak. he hates being infantilized more than anything. when tsumugi calls natsume "natsume-chan" thats not tsumugi feminizing natsume, thats tsumugi reminiscing on the child natsume he used to know. when tsumugi calls natsume "natsume-chan" it feels like hes not being taken seriously, that hes still viewed as a child, that he hasnt matured (which is also why he doesnt like being called "cute" bc. yknow. kids r cute). and this is a REALLY big insecurity of his. he hates being viewed as naive. In the same vein though, natsume is insecure about not being manly enough too (such as him viewing his inability to swim as "not manly"). Which is also a really interesting point of discussion when it comes to natsumes character! but its important to note that his insecurity in his masculinity does NOT translate to a hatred of femininity. natsumes relationship with gender is an incredibly nuanced one and its so frustrating when people dont even bother trying to read into it and just completely generalize his character

with that said natsume DOES have some internalized misogyny though. But this ones kinda hard to navigate as. well. Almost the entire cast has had some to a certain extent at some point. esp in the early stories. which could all just be bad writing. But it adds to the complexities of femininity and womanhood, how the two are often associated despite being distinct from one another. and with this distinction between the two it adds ANOTHER interesting layer to natsume and his own relationship with gender, because we know he didnt mind being raised as a girl (its just incredibly fucking embarrassing that people know about it), yet his views on gender seem kind of........ Conservative. with him assuming anzu is bad at games bc shes a girl, claiming arashis lying to kids by calling herself a princess, worried that people will view him as less of a man for being unable to swim, etc etc. Like you truly cannot just read ONE story and think you now have a full grasp on natsume and his relationship with his gender. i cannot stress enough how complex it is. but this complexity is exactly what makes it resonate. if you're insecure, it makes sense for you to develop a toxic habit of punching down in order to get higher, esp since we know natsume doesnt handle his emotions super well

this section will be very speculatory and is just my own personal analyzis, so dont take it as gospel. But from my understanding it seems like natsume does genuinely enjoy more feminine things, but hes caught up in gender expectations (potentially due to him knowing both what its like to be a girl and a guy?) that this can cause him to say admittedly quite bigoted things due to his insecurities. natsume is a character that wants to be perceived a certain way; he wants to be cool, mysterious, alluring, but as we should all know by now This is a front he puts on. he very often puts on fronts and lies about his true nature and intentions. which all reads like a fear of authenticity. i dont think natsume genuinely holds those beliefs previously listed, he is just afraid of being vulnerable and, once again, having weak points exposed. he was told to be a girl when he was little and now hes basically told to be a guy without having the Common Guy Upbringing, which can easily turn into developing beliefs of toxic masculinity if you're the type who "plays the part" rather than being your authentic self. hes being told what a man is by the world around him so he tried to shape himself into it to play the part. He can be very blunt and cruel in his words to others, but i personally just see it as a projection from his end. its an attempt at making himself seem better and manlier than he actually is by using his words where hes lacking in action. You can pull off alot of mind games with a simple sentence alone. words can paint a deceiving picture if used correctly, and natsume is a fortune teller; if anyone knows how to say the right thing to get a certain impression from someone its him

i do also think its important to note that as time goes on natsume is starting to express himself genuinely more. Just like the rest of the enstars cast; his story is one of growth and bettering yourself as a person. coming to terms with who you are and learning to let others in

either way. im not one to gatekeep but i need ppl who dont read switch stories to stop speaking so definitively on natsumes relationship with his gender or im gonna start throwing rocks at people

TLDR this shit is NUANCED and to say its 100% this or 100% that does it a disservice to me

[thatdeadaquarius]

m thinkin abt the “blunt vs flowery” language thing and…… in the year of our lord 2023, i don't even want to imagine how far back we'd have to go in genshins timeline until we see ‘hey shawty' written on a cave wall-

you try to be better about it, sometimes, using only the fanciest words and the most floral of tones, but all you ever succeed in doing is giving zhongli flashbacks to the archon war-

in the same vein: modern humor. would literally make them think "is this some sort of divine joke im too mortal to understand?" except even the archons need to cite sources on why a piece of bread falling over would be funny- maybe you slip sometimes, but you only ever get halfway through like “i’m neurodivergent and a minor” before you realize they don’t know what that means— “what if i had blue hair and pronouns” but they’re just sitting there like… doesn’t everybody have pronouns….? and kaeya has blue hair- are you implying he’s divine? what about chongyun?? xingqiu??????

anyway um. this is me bringing up my unfortunate (but very funny) habit of saying “i’ll boil you like soup” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced and hoping it triggers Thoughts about the casual/slang threats we make and how they cope

sorry if this reads incoherently it’s 1am for me rn— also i’m debating becoming a regular anon here, are your applications open? 👉👈

SORRY IF I RAN U OFF BY NOT REPLYING QUICKLY!! BUT I’D LOVE TO HAVE LABELLED ANONS! I’ve already added some taken name I could see in my mailbox so check the pinned post and choose whatever isn’t taken! phrase or emoji, etc.! :)

this isnt super long bc ur stuff seemed chill on its own/idk what I could add! So I just focused on one aspect

gif is literally everyone reacting to you trying to speak “flowery” like them lol

ALSO u guys probably dont remember bc I took so long but I’m still writing/going to post that Blunt Lang. AU Fanfic One-Shot! so here’s some quick headcanons ill add on ive got anon!!

No TWs/Content Warnings. SFW.

so this was gonna be chill but-

BESDIES RANDOM SHIT LIKE MEME REFERENCES

THAT WONT MAKE SENSE TO THEM BC INHERENT INTERNET/DIGITAL UNDERSTANDING NEEDED

WHAT IF ALL UR JOKES OR REFERENCES ARE QUITE LITERALLY, ANCIENT??

like anon said about even the archons having to pull out sources/cite your stuff to understand it, like finding really old tablets/scrolls/carved wall words 😭

u giving Zhongli a history lesson/brush up LMAO

If ur annoyed at them u just need to make more jokes, leave em scrambling for their pocket notes LOL

I like to think since you sound the OLDEST

that the ancient shit like Phanes/Four Shades/Seven Sovereigns are the closest in speech

(look theyre all alive and shit for my genshin, goddamit i still gotta tell u guys abt my genshin fill-in lore au)

and they’re closer to the “beginning of history” in teyvat so theyd get more references

theyd literally understand u the best and they like, all in the Abyss or like deep in Teyvat,

so u just casually strolling up to Azdaha’s place instead like

“How’s your day been Azhy?”

“Same as the days many before, my lord. How are thee?”

“Good enough, hey, why don’t I bring some food from my old world by that I’ve made for you to try out? Something new, y’know?”

camera pan left to see Zhongli looking up, then back down as he scribbles notes trying to better understand, Xiao has crossed his arms and is squinting, Ganyu is behind Zhongli and is trying to peek over his shoulder, Cloud Retainer and other adepti have like hidden nearby to overhear lol

♤

FLASHBACKS FOR ZHONGLI-

HE’S OVER HERE LIKE

“Please do not disturb your countenance my Wànsuìyé, the vernacular is pleasant to mine ears and sufficient for speech.”

“I shall, uh, try my best Zhongli, thought I know ye have- wait- thy have? Whatever, accepted it, I shall keep attempting to better match thee!”

HIS FACE-

He’s literally just → 😰😣💀

(flashback to at least 1 really ancient/old god he had to fight for his life against, they were the hardest battle he’s ever faced, and Azhdaha was helping him by that point too, so it wasn’t even like he won alone… rip zhongli got ptsd)

He keeps trying to subtly stop you from practicing it, he also desperately discourages others from helping you 😭

(Zhongli was about to be called Rex Lapis again when Venti was trying to get on his last nerve by constantly encouraging you to speak fancier, but in the incorrect way, at dinner with them one time)

Like that last content with them pretending not to kow each other but 5x the tension and Venti is fooling around even more so than usual lol

THANKS FOR SENDING IN YOUR IDEAS!! I FUCKING LOVE HEARING OTHER PPLS BRAINROTS OVER STUFF!! AND SORRY AGAIN IT TOOK FOREVER!! ITS BEEN A ROUGH YEAR OF UNI FOR ME/IM GRADUATING!! <333 TYSM ANON!!

Safe Travels,

💀 ♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonderss / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylazaa / @genshin-impacts-mee / @wholesomey-artistt / @thedevioussmirk

[vaspider]

I have a question about your post about the garbage you get having a large follower count. I didn't see it mentioned in the reblogs.

How does this work with Tumblr? For example, say you made a post about some relatable trans masc experience. By the time I'm seeing it, it's got a bunch of really good additions but no one on any of the reblog chains has mentioned some connected trans masc experience that I've had.

It doesn't seem that screenshotting it and cropping out all the usernames is the best option (everyone deserves credit for their good info). But if that post has 10k notes, it's probably making your notifications unusable. So, it seems like it might be a risk to add my 2 cents and further blow up your notifications because my 2 cents might be 0 cents to you or others reading it. On the other hand, it also might be a whole dollar to someone who was a whole dollar short and since I don't have a large follower count, if I made my own post with that addition it might never get seen by someone that needs it.

Am I making sense? I'm worried that my 4am lack of sleep brain is making me not make sense. But I wanted to ask because I would really hate to be doing it wrong and cause you and any other large blogger here frustration they don't need.

The thing that matters to me is that people are like, taking a moment to look in the notes before they add to stuff, just to see if it's been mentioned 20 times, and that they're not, like, super shitty if I'm like "hey, we talked this to death already and you didn't see it in the notes bc I blocked the person so it won't show up in the notes, if you want to keep talking about this, make your own post."

And also that it's not like ... giving the most obvious advice to me as OP. You know, the "well have you tried yoga" kind of reply.

If you're putting a good faith effort in to not be a douche, don't worry too much about my notifications. It only really bugs me when people are either openly dickweeds (shit like tags that say "vaspider sucks so much and I hate him but he makes a good point so I'm reblogging JUST THIS ONCE" or whatever are just evidence of being a truly unbearable human being) or get shitty when I say like "please drop this particular line."

I would rather prefer people not screenshot my writing and blot out my name, though, bc that shit happens an annoying amount. Oftentimes it's people who are using my words for clout (weird) or attaching their own ko-fi links (weirder, and happened more than once with the Pete Buttigieg essay), and both of those things kinda suck. I am a lot of things, but two things I'm not are an object or a public resource.

So, yeah.

[mayordeas-clone]

saw a take that peeved me in the vocaloid feed on bluesky but i don’t wanna be confrontational there + my thoughts are too powerful for a 300 character per post thread so im making it tumblr’s problem

due to my intense vsynth brainworms this is going to sound incredibly pedantic and annoying which is why i am posting it here okay here we go

the post was sort of a ‘callout’ of a creator who uses synthv for covers of fnf songs or whatever. the general body was like “they write their own lyrics but they make the vocals using ai with a program called synthesizer v” (the implication being, “this person is an ai-using fraud, don’t support them”)

if ur in the community or like have a little bit of an idea of how ai is associated with synthv specifically this is a nonsense uninformed take (the ‘ai’ training is used for autotuning/cross language synthesis/some other shit idk but the point is it’s not the type of ai that like, writes the melody/lyrics for you and is voiced from random samples from unknowing providers but i’ll get back to this later)

ai is mentioned on synthv’s website (also vocaloid’s much to the detriment of news articles that report on hatsune miku) so it’s a common misunderstanding, whatever. it would be nice if people actually looked into the ways ai works in vsynth at least a little bit but in an age where artists are on the defense against the ai boogeyman i guess i sorta understand the knee jerk reaction to assume the ai in vsynth software like synthv is the Bad kind. annoying, but nothing new.

but i think what made this post rotate in my mind to the point of crystallizing into unnecessary rage is an add-on that was like “i just prefer my music to be sung by real people!” followed by “by the way, vocaloid isn’t ai, so no you’re not bad if you like hatsune miku music”

ohhh man this actually did piss me off a little cuz wow way to really shout to the heavens that you have no damn clue what you’re talking about

firstly, i COMPLETELYYYY understand that the premise and general sound of vocal synth music is not for everyone. the computerized words, the unrealism, or even the fact that it’s not an actual person singing, like whatever that’s fine i get it. but like you can’t go around and be like “by the way vocaloid [aka hatsune miku] is chill don’t worryyyy” bc that line of thinking from my understanding doesn’t really make sense? miku isn’t a real person either 😭😭 her latest release even uses ai! (at least i think it does cuz vocaloid 6 has ai support but idk i guess that doesn’t matter) does she just get a free pass cuz she’s an internet darling?

miku is a piece of software where you write the midi for her vocals and input the lyrics so a slurry of samples recorded by saki fujita can be played back in an in-character singing voice. synthv is a piece of software with similar character voice databases where you do the same thing, write a midi and input lyrics so a database’s voice samples put it all together to sing back. the inclusion of ai in this process is to streamline the workflow for the user to automatically work out the pitch transitions between notes to save on time manually tuning, creating a more realistic playback. this ai, perhaps merely the inclusion of these two letters in the proximity of synthv’s marketing, is what makes synthv both Significantly Different and Inferior to miku.

the lack of ai with vocaloid (as far as op knew, cuz need i remind you vocaloid as of its 6th installment uses similar ai to synthv lol) making it Better than synthv sent the implication, TO ME, that op thinks that the ai used in synthv is the type that like, takes samples from other people without their permission to create the voices (then leading to the “i just want my songs sung by REAL people” aka not sung by dubiously gathered samples). i recognize this means of creating ai voices to impersonate other people and make them say things they should not without their knowledge or permission is CERTAINLY bad but like that’s not how any of this works if we’re talking synthv (you could argue this applies to those utau banks that make voicebanks for like sonic the hedgehog and shit but those usually sound like ass and are about as convincing as a sentence mixed youtube poop). maybe that’s not what they meant (i don’t wanna dig up the post cuz i don’t wanna be bothered and it’s probably gonna piss me off to the point of starting something which i don’t want) but based on my understanding of their point this is like. wholly untrue. in fact synthv voicebanks (particularly those from eclipsed sounds whose terms of service are free to read on their website) have special terms specifically designed to protect the voice providers of their databases BECAUSE of the extra realism in their voices (terms such as, “you can’t credit any voice work done with Solaria to Emma Rowley [her voice provider] or anyone else besides the software itself” in the case Solaria is used to say something objectionable and cast it on Rowley, that would be a breach of the terms and might even get your license revoked). shit like that is likely what people who are afraid of ai voices expect to happen but there were contracts signed to protect and inform the voice providers of what their vocal likeness is being used for + compensation paid to them for their work providing vocal samples SPECIFICALLY for this product. and ofc miku is the same. ITS THE SAME. BUT MIKU IS A FUNNY INTERNET MEME SO SHES FINE. GRRRRR!!!!!!

[doctorodyssey]

okay cool hi lol let's be haters together <3

so my post earlier was abt 3x01 and specifically the pregnant woman gets attacked and has her baby stolen from her body call. it annoyed me on my first watch and then REALLY annoyed me on my second bc that is such a racialized form of violence mostly perpetuated by white women (or a couple) against black and/or indigenous women.

important context i am indigenous and 2s (usamerican specifically mohawk) which is why i feel like maybe i'm overreacting a bit but also fuck that lmao

and we know that sometimes the calls on 911 are inspired by real events right (the milky way call and also maddie telling that dv caller to pretend to order pizza come to mind)? and considering it is such a visceral crime i can't help but assume that they were inspired by one of the real life women that it's happened to. or any number of them. and they're mostly indigenous or black or other women of color!!

and like there's a reason bipoc are targeted for those types of crimes! so to tell a story like that and choose to victimize a white woman... idk leaves a bad taste in my mouth

and this is kinda an ongoing thing in 911 where they either completely avoid racial stuff while still using those stories or make the most milquetoast liberal statement that boils down to "racism bad". the whole michael and may and harry getting stopped and almost being brutalized thing comes to mind!

I know I shouldn't have high expectations for a copaganda show and I wouldn't even want them to touch the topic of racialized violence against bipoc bc they will fuck it up but also. I'm pissed bc violence against native women is PERVASIVE and also never fucking acknowledged by society at large.

Idk I'm salty about it and no one probably even noticed bc it's a small moment overall and maybe I'm being sensitive but also I feel like I deserve to be sensitive about this kind of thing. all I could think of while watching were those indigenous women who probably inspired that call and it sucks

anyway thoughts? LMAO

second part:

oh also to add on to the essay i dropped in your inbox yesterday i don't think the writers were in any way being malicious or bad writers or anything like that. they didn't anything wrong per se, it just made me uncomfortable to watch bc of my perspective as an ndn so i'm being a hater abt it to feel better lol obviously i still love the show

thank you so much for these thoughts!! i've never considered this but i think it makes total sense. you're 100% right that they base calls on real life stories, like a LOT of the calls. (random but i think it's cute that in the blackout episode, the call maddie takes from someone seeing the milky way in the sky is based on real calls from the LA blackouts in the 90s)

i actually just went and rewatched the scenes from 3x01 with the kidnapped mother & stolen baby. you are absolutely not wrong to be frustrated/uncomfortable w this portrayal. they really did it in the most viscerally disturbing way too, with the kidnapper literally removing the baby from the mother herself...definitely trying to play up the sensation in a situation where they could have addressed a deeper issue. instead they just did like "haha this crazy lady is so mentally ill and insane! let's use it as an opportunity for everyone to reflect!" (which, side note - this show does not handle certain mental health issues well either, despite being all pro-therapy for the characters when they're going through stuff....). and then they just used it as a way for chim & maddie to reflect on their own want for kids (and set up the possibility of maddie getting pregnant). the story did not need to be set up that way. like it was all for shock value...but marginalized/vulnerable people's babies being stolen is a real thing that happens (both by individuals and by the state/CPS/etc).

a better way for them to address this would be like, they have a sinister CPS worker who goes rogue and uses their power to take kids away from parents when it's not needed - this would be more interesting/hard-hitting IMO bc it puts the focus more on state-sponsored violence instead of individual harm committed by 1 person, but we do still have one person who is the villain (probably a "sweet" middle-aged white lady).

that said i also completely agree that they would...not do a good job if they tried to address racialized violence against Indigenous women. i feel like we would get one offhand comment about MMIW and maybe like a 10-second black screen at the end with a hotline you can call or something. i'm just thinking about how horrifically anti-Black the Mara/abused dog comparison storyline was...the writers on this show need to be punished tbfh

and also, i totally get you - the writers aren't being malicious, but they CLEEEEEEEAAARLY have blind spots and it shows.

[gregoftom]

ok thank GOD we survived another week CMON TOM GIRL THAT’S IT. okay well here’s my tg two cents since i’ve finished the episode. 

so here’s the thing. i seen a post or two really crushing their rs down to bare bones basic cynicism it’s only about what they can do for each other businesswise and i gotta say, kids could you lighten up a little? tom wasn’t especially nice to greg this episode or anything, but i don’t think he was like. awful? or anything? he’s exhausted and stressed ofc he’s gonna snap, and ofc he’s not going to like greg being distracted and not paying full attention to him when they’re alone together and he specifically made sure no one else was there. he let greg go to the funeral first even though we Know he feels safer when greg goes in to things like this with him [re: logan’s wake] and ofc he’s gonna need greg going to bat for him to mencken making sure to repeatedly mention tom and putting what he’s learned into putting tom forward and while i get that it can suck not to see some sort of appreciation towards greg i mean, was it really that bad?

did he throw anything at him? did he call him any cruel names? did he bully him specifically beyond what he might say to other atn employees? did he do anything from his old ways except for order greg around?

no. and see, tom is probably very insecure at this point. what does he have to offer greg, except his love? and where has he been before where his love has been rejected? where it’s not been good enough? where it’s not been respected? so he’s gonna order greg around bc he wants to give a show of, see i’m still your superior and i can still take care of you i promise!! even though they both know full well that greg outranks him by now. if greg reaches a point in power and prosperity rivalling or even surpassing shiv then, oh boy here we go again! i’ve got nothing to offer you but my love and it won’t be good enough, just like last time. 

tom has all these grandiose ideas of romantic runaways, leave this life behind and come with me but regardless of everything going on, for him personally it’s not as simple as that. he doesn’t see a worth to the other person unless he can give them protection or give them something in return. with shiv i think he figured that great sex, being servile to her and helping her rise to power to gain his own at the same time is what kept it going. and then after that falls apart he has his love. but the type of love he wants to give is not what shiv wants or responds to i believe. that’s not a slight on her it’s just. i don’t see them being able to work at least not without a lot of personal and marriage therapy and like. i don’t think either of them would go for that. he also has these very traditional ideas of a relationship i feel, and the way that he justifies his feelings towards greg is to make a joke out of it, go along with the whole disgusting brothers bit [which personally i think is Only referring to them being each other’s wingmen in scoring, which is interesting considering what shiv said about it and how annoyed she got about greg, bringing him up by name so i’m not exactly sure how much “scoring” was done, at least with women lmfao] add a splash of internalised homophobia, etc. and i think shiv, understandably, due to her repeated experiences of misogyny pushes back against that.

hear me out. it’s actually GOOD for tom to act the way he did towards greg in contrast to how he did to shiv! mattmac has said COUNTLESS times that tom is afraid of shiv. we’ve seen him with a black eye caused by her [before anybody starts i KNOW he flicked her ear and that was NOT cool, but let’s not forget this] and mm commented on how he changes his voice to a higher pitch around her, both in servitude and in being afraid. he’s on eggshells around her. the balcony fight was the first time we saw that not being the case. yeah i get that it’s disappointing to see him backtrack slightly with shiv, be kind to her and not to greg. to see him have to get permission from her to do things like sleep in contrast to with greg, where his basic needs are just met instead of begged for. but he’s NOT backtracking with greg! he’s NOT reverting to previous behaviours with him! and he’s being his honest true self with him!

yes okay he’s snapping at greg! he hung up on him! he’s ordering him around! but he’s insecure; of course he is, he probably thinks greg will walk! greg has gravitated to power repeatedly, why shouldn’t tom be afraid that his feelings for greg aren’t enough to keep him loyal to him, esp when those feelings have not been enough before? yes greg has proven himself a couple of times but cycles and fears are hard to break! we already have “you’ll do it with matsson and not with me?” paired with “i want YOU gregging for me!” like, what more do you need? tom wants to present as still in control and at point where he has the right to tell greg what to do because he wants to show he can make good on their deal, not knowing that greg actually cares about him personally too [which we know for a fact because he goes so mf hard for tom and has done ever since the deal in 3.09. it is not just about gain and i think we can see that’s a fact by now. what leverage does tom have that he could maintain?]

i’m not about to say that the business side of their relationship doesn’t exist at all. i’m not about to say that greg will not use tom, or tom will not use greg. i’m not about to say there’s no negative or manipulative parts of their relationship. but to reduce it to simply this, is just not true. there’s much, much more to it than that. i guess i get a little defensive on this part bc i hate a mlm pairing being lessened to just a joke, or not to be taken seriously, or well pack it up guys, because it didn’t mean anything and was Only a way for the both of them to get ahead and that’s all it ever was.

nah. it wasn’t just that, sorry. and i know the show will probably ditch them, i’m not gonna say succ will let them run off into the sunset. this ain’t my first rodeo. i’ve been in fandom for like 17 years, i know the game, i know how it works. i know tom/shiv is probably endgame in the long run. but i’m just saying, y’all gotta stop reducing it to something so minimal when clearly the dynamic between them captured not only shippers, but general audiences around the globe. i guess i don’t like when ppl contribute to letting the show give it a back seat and give in to it trying to really demean it to less than it actually was. bc we know and THEY know that it was deeper than that. honestly i have a feeling jesse might’ve been held back by hbo judging by the scripts, plus we know there was a lot of shit cut for time, but i digress.

i’ve been saying this for a while now, but if tom and greg are still in each other’s lives in some way by the end of the show, there’s always hope for tg. they don’t have to kiss or declare their love. it’s not as though it’s never been done with a het ship before, take x files mulder and scully for example. yes i know they were eventually “canon” to the point they were in a relationship, but not for years! years! and even then at one point they broke up but were still in each other’s lives with the chance to find each other again and reconcile, which they did!

tom and greg just have to be able to reach other in some capacity, for it to be a possibility. and we have creators in the community to explore how that would work.

<3

[single-malt-scotch]

i have watched bdubs and scar and so im gonna talk abt SL again like i did before. obvs spoilers!

i keep my posts pretty meta/only about the game, its mechanics, balance etc so i have no bias on players own actions. but i do want to talk about players and the final moments for a minute here!

obvs i like bdubs a lot and hes been very good at getting to almost the finals in all the series. hope ppl realize that more. if he had more hearts like scar did im sure he could of have gotten further too. etho's ep isnt out but i saw him die in scar's and scar's ep was wild for sure. i mean damn, there was hardly a way etho could have escaped scar when he landed right on top of him, insane. obvs i dont have a view on the others i havent watched but it was interesting to see how they ganged up in this series for the end. scar winning made me happy too, hes a really good player!!

bbut onto the gameplay. i dont wanna repeat myself so im kinda using this as an overall conclusion + specific thoughts about the finale.

its been established clearly that mods assign specific tasks to people at times. and the warden/wither + bogey were not something i enjoyed. this season felt way too "directed" as it went on... and i also think the tasks ability to grant you so much good stuff (a LOT of hearts) is what kept everyone out of being red so easily! which is probably why they did the bogey zombies. which is really just poor balance that no one clearly tested (i recall grian implying before that they dont really test anything but dont quote me on that). maybe a way to have improved that would have been reds were the only ones to gain hearts, and yellow/greens could not. i knew from the start that the heart giving mechanics this season were kind of pointless or overpowered. gifting one heart? really...? that doesnt add up to much of anything in the long run imo unless you manage to get hearts from multiple people. and then on top of that you get hearts back from the secret keeper too. i would have loved if this season was simply "no regen and thats it!" like a sorta UHC deal where you only can heal with specific items (and not 30 hearts prob? bc i understand the tasks were kind of a way to possibly make them die).

on big forced tasks it only made sense with this episode, since everyone is red, so i dont mind that. but again.... they had to force this to happen which is annoying to me. also in terms of balance i really wished they bring back strict rules on enchantments because that also gets frustrating to watch. but perhaps i just like fairness in combat due to watching so much UHC, which also is a death game.

the other issues i had were with reds and red tasks. as pointed out they forced reds in the previous sessions but no one had any time to do red tasks?? and admittedly it was kind of boring bc people couldnt interact about it without failing. but they could not team up properly and i think that is what red life is all about. all the reds coming together because they *need* to face yellows and greens, and hunt people down. but instead the few reds there had to be alone to do their traps, another social issue with this series where tasks often pulled people away from others and left them with videos where they were very alone. there being no space for greens and yellows to exist and get hunted is something i think is great in previous seasons too and it just didnt happen. all that getting forced in that one session just didnt flow well to me.

really even trying to look back at episodes, i cant recall any notable interactions between people i enjoyed minus some brief pauses when they were traveling to do their tasks. there just wasnt a lot of typical socializing! and thats what i didnt like with this series. this plus the balance issues of lives just made this series feel messy, and the length of the episodes due to tasks could be kind of boring if the task was boring or even felt too stressful to force them into places where they could just die (these kinds of dangerous tasks given to greens or yellows felt unfair, as if it was trying to force them to die, and as a viewer i wouldnt want the game make my fave die!).

and as i mentioned in a different post, the lack of fixing some issues in multiple seasons is wild to me. this season faced the same issue as limlife where deaths were not in chat. the episode after, they fixed it (still with some bugs). and then it happened again last session.... and they didnt fix it! this is also annoying bc people dont react to the deaths at all which you kind of wanna see you know? actually im not even sure why they still did it this way. i imagined the clock running out made it more complicated for the system of fying to work. but why this season....? seemed like pretty forward deaths. idk the tech side, but they had 3 solid lives like all the other season, and there were never issues with the death messages happening at all.

but anyways. theres multiple parts of this i mentioned above that just made this gimmick feel so messy and unbalanced, and sometimes not super interesting to watch. it was way too complicated some times. i know theyll likely never do a repeat of the old versions but man idk if i cant find myself liking future seasons if they start stacking so much on top of what is a simple concept. it has started to feel like the three lives havent mattered at all/arent really the focus-- the anxiety of having three times. and the stakes become less and less due to some of these new gimmicks (the ability to gain lives in so many easy ways- limlife and secret life- is why imo) makes death feel less of a problem especially when we know how buddy buddy everyone is now. people need to be limited like before, and be more anxious. 3L, LL, and DL had people quickly establishing their friends bc they knew right from the get go that the series really depended on them being alive and nothing else. the only focus was to stay alive and not die. DL was where ppl kinda chilled a bit on alliances bc they knew each other more but, death was still right around the door with health being tied, it still brought a similar kind of anxiety for players.

i do hope people like grian can recognize these issues behind the scenes bc genuine critique for this series/season is important. like i hope they dont brush off the fact "hall monitors" were an issue-- they can ignore them openly in their videos.... but there is a reason why its a problem that started at all. the concept was way too subjective and hard to judge! so id hate for them to decide "eh, lets not listen to them, im gonna keep doing this and not consider the issue for a new season" right? and hour long episodes? thats crazy, and i dont think it was good for a lot of cc imo, because it made me way less likely to watch or even finish others' episodes. i hope that makes sense... stakes need to be raised, and i think limlife still achieved that to some degree because time was still very sensitive and risky to take. but then SL comes in bringing way too many things that keep them alive far too easily, leaving very little concern as long as they got their task in.

and last thing is from the outside pov i get concerned about this season happening only 6 months after the last one. because that would very very easily cause a burn out/inability to make more gimmicks real quick. i find this particularly odd bc this season too place through multiple holidays...! not sure if they thought this one through very well. considering how much limlife changed things in a way that was a bit more complicated, and then have SL with even more going on.... id just be worried about how much new stuff would even be made after this.

before this season started i was thinking to myself that i would be fine if this was the last one (it was speculation off some posting 3L compilations that was being me think itd be 'over' bc that was the first season). and truly i would be fine if they stopped forever for for a long time. i dont want to start disliking this series if they keep going in this direction... i will ALWAYS enjoy seeing these people play together and it will no doubt keep me watching but, i would hope that i will enjoy what they do for the next seasons and not fall down this path of convoluted, unbalanced and complicated concepts.

[saw-facts]

your post inspired me so here's who I think certain saw characters favorite artists would be with no explanation at all:

hoffman: george bellows

amanda: paul cezanne

john: osman hamdi bey

lawrence: allan kaprow

adam: marta minujin

lynn: doris salcedo

strahm: caravaggio

oh i like this!! i want to add some:

the eerie quality of henri de toulouse-lautrec's work (at least imo) feels like it'd be appealing to hoffman. along the same vein, i'd say edvard munch too. ALSO FRANCISCO GOYA. im surprised he wasn’t also painting fucked up shit on his own walls.

amanda would love louise bourgeois, ana mendieta, joan mitchell, and eva hesse. i feel like she'd also be really into fiber arts in general (tamara kostianovsky, kiki smith, raija jokinen). also we know she likes some renaissance/stylistically classical art bc she has the birth of venus print next to her bed in saw 3! i think this is more for gay reasons but i bet she'd like john william waterhouse’s mythological paintings.

i love this one for john! the obvious one for him would be da vinci as well- john's drawings actually remind me a lot of his. i think he wouldn't be into abstraction because “it lacks intellect” or some shit. probably dark, dramatic, pensive baroque art.

i feel like lawrence would be into impressionism but NOT post impressionism!!! he'd be so annoying about it. monet, degas, cassat, etc. i also think he'd enjoy botanical illustrations. probably a fan of edward hopper too.

adam would like jc leyendecker. just based on vibes. others i think he'd enjoy include john singer sargent, norman lewis, lee krasner, yoshitaka amano, salman toor, yayoi kusama... these are all over the place uhhhh i just think he'd enjoy a wide range of styles. now ofc he has favorite photographers, but that is not at all my area of study and the only one i could think of off the top of my head that would fit him is robert mapplethorpe.

for lynn, andrew wyeth makes sense to me- the lonely, empty, desolate feeling his paintings give you would probably speak to her :( agnes martin (ESPECIALLY agnes martin) and louise nevelson would probably appeal to her too.

strahm liking caravaggio is basically canon to me. like of fucking course. for one, he'd just loooove telling people that the Old Master painters are the finest of fine artists just bc he's a dick (and doesn't know shit about art made after like the 18th century). but also caravaggio was gay and killed someone and was murdered so. it fits. he'd probably scoff at rene magritte paintings but deep down he'd really enjoy them.

im obsessed with this ask and i've been drafting this response for a hot minute bc i wanted to put some real thought into it. VERY fun and a great way to procrastinate on work as an art history grad student

[headdaze]

for your lil ask post: (if that doesn’t work just imagine me flopping around like a fish outta water all sad and emo like bc i hate mobile)

I’M NOT INTO ANY SO JUST ANSWER WITH ONE OF YOUR FAVS (if you wanna <3)

FISH ILYSM YES IT DID WORK LOLLL yeah mobile is a pain (mostly bc I hate texting RIP) so I feel u, like I have to add tags onto posts so they don't get buried but it's so annoying to type out all of them and then add the little hashtag to actually make it a tag so these days I literally just do "reblog now" and then later on desktop i'll add tags 😂

ANYWAYS

now those of you who have been stalking my recent reblogs will probably expect me to yap abt svt and believe me I could & I would but im gonna take this chance to yap about my current fav gg my beloved 💖 KISS OF LIFE 💖 for the ask game - for those of yall who don't know they're under S2 entertainment (not one of the "famous" companies to my knowledge), have four members, and debuted pretty recently in 2023!!

✦ my first bias: belle her vocals literally make me feel like i could die happy. also she's so competent (i love competency) & just so unintentionally funny sometimes and always slays so yes i love her so much

✦ my current bias(es): ot4 😭 i feel like sayinh anything else is a CRIME, imo they're the best when they're together and vibing bc the way they all just hang out and have fun together reminds me a lot of my own friend group 🥹

✦ my album and/or era ranking (or favorite of each): they're newer so not too many eras to choose from & also all of them are SLAYS SO here's the best from each for me - kiss of life (debut album): I'm weak for belle's countdown (prechorus SLAYSSS) & shh is surprisingly addictive / born to be xx: all of it. amazing. says it is really beaitufl and calm, but bad news always gets me hyped!! / midas touch: it's a single album so only two songs BUT THEY GO SO HARD!!!

✦ how i got into them: this is a really weird story that I'm just gonna tell bc I can and I will -- I saw Jii (cover artist on Youtube) uploaded a short of her Chinese cover of Midas Touch & Jordan Orme (also a youtuber) analyzed the music video… but tbh I was annoyed to see it everywhere RIP LOL and then eventually watched Jii’s short and was like “wait this is actually so banger” so I watched the Midas Touch MV then watched Jordan Orme dissect it .. then idk how but eventually I just went on a KIOF listening spree, listened to all their discography and the rest is history >3< I will say I feel like the moment I was like "yeah i love them to death" is when I watched their midas touch part switch dance; i feel like it really showed off their fun energy and made them feel very real, in a way.

✦ which member would be my best friend: oh help i actually don't know since i don't know TOO TOO much abt each of their personalities - maybe natty?? maybe i'm biased bc i have a best friend whose name is pretty similar to hers 😂

✦ something i associate with them (or with a bias/any member): shimmery metallic pink, X's, hearts, anything NEAR midas touch/greek mythology as any concept :D

tysm fish again for letting me yappp ily/p 🫶💘

[wildfairies]

i wrote this like two months ago when i finished, but im posting it now for my own record lol.

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING FOR CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 1

scrambled critical role thoughts and opinions after finishing c1:

oh boy i cried through vax's goodbye scene in the last episode, but holy shit i fucking sobbed through his appearance in dalen's closet. how the fuck was liam so perfect at playing an altered version of vax that was still him at heart. every interaction was perfect. cannot describe how i felt when he addressed scanlan, how the fuck could he come up with such a perfect ingenious opener, i was in tears immediately.

i would not have believed you if you told me when i started that scanlan and grog would have been my favorites at the end of the campaign. (well maybe a little bc i am a confirmed travis stan but seriously i didn't anticipate the level of depth, comedy, and heart he brought to grog). grog's kevdak speech is a campaign highlight for me-- no, a 2023 highlight.

i obviously found scanlan somewhat annoying but funny if often outdated. i kind of just wrote it off as something i'd ignore but sam really made a comeback like damn, i was very happy and surprised when he apologized to pike.

scanlan leaving discourse is old news but for me personally it reminded me of myself in really dark times and the ways poor mental health can make you kinda self-centered. not mad about how any of it went down or how it was resolved, and i love how his and vex's relationship became a highlight for me after his return.

i honestly loved the super high emotional stakes of VM, felt like someone was always mad at someone else, i'm a sucker for inter-party conflict and intense emotional scenes. these guys have so much angst and i love it.

i really enjoyed the tight pacing and goal-oriented episodes. i tend to get stressed out when there's too many broad choices about what to do next in any sort of media lol. this campaign also rly showed me how much i love watching high-level play.

i don't fuck with percy??????? lmfao i don't hate him or anything, i literally can't put it any way besides idfw that man. 😭 he's an interesting character ofc and i do like his friendship with keyleth

keyleth was my fave for most of the campaign. her growth was so rewarding to watch, she made me laugh so many times, i love seeing her become a leader, just adore her and she's such a comfort character to me. bought myself a simple ring with "I have passed through fire" engraved on the inside to celebrate my didn't-kill-myself-aversary this year bc that letter was exactly what i needed to hear 😭

kiki and vax never interested me thatttt much UNTIL they became eternally star-crossed lovers jfc. that is my catnip. tbh it's interesting to me that VM is held up by some as having superior romance to TMN, but i didn't find any of VM's romance super compelling.

since it's been a couple months since i finished, i can add that vex is who i've thought most about since i finished?? i always liked her, loved the grey hunt, adored her relationship with vax, but didn't know i had strong feelings until after i'd finished watching. funny how that happens.

the mighty nein start out fucked up and end up pretty good, while vox machina start out pretty cool and then get super fucked up 😭 much as i love outcasts finding family, it was really fun to watch all these archetypal fantasy Cool Guys just go through so much emotional damage lmao.

[saetoru]

hi! im so incredibly sorry to bother you but i think you may have blocked one of my other blogs and i was wondering if i could ask why?

please don’t feel pressured to answer whatsoever and definitely feel free to ignore this, i really don’t want to trouble you in any way. i just wanted to know if i did anything wrong or something to offend you?

i really try my hardest to stay neutral and friendly as well as respecting and following everyone else’s blog rules so i’d really appreciate any feedback or insight if you’re happy to give it. whatever i did, once again, im so incredibly sorry to bother you, i don’t mean any harm at all, ever. if i did something to offend you, it was never intentional, all i really try to do on tumblr is rb pictures of cats most of the time anyways.

please don’t take this the wrong way, it just makes me super anxious that i might’ve done something to someone that may have hurt them or made them uncomfortable. i really loved your writing and your blog and i can’t apologise enough if i messed up or anything. of course, i totally understand that sometimes people just choose to block people for their own reasons and i respect that no matter what. i’m incredibly sorry if i encroached on your boundaries in any way, i just really held your writing close to my heart and it saddens me that i can’t view it anymore. but that isn’t your fault whatsoever. i respect you so much as a writer and a person and i just wanted to say that i’m really sorry if i did anything. i’m sorry tee.

okay bestie i can’t rly tell unless u share ur url tho 😭 but honestly sometimes ppl leave comments or tags that make me feel weird / annoy me — i’m human and sometimes i block over petty reasons (i’m working on it fjsjfj) but overall i like to think i block with decent cause so unless ur ageless, you’ve probably said something to slightly (or perhaps highly) irritate me or you may have spam liked ?? idrk unless i see ur url tbh. i mean if u send me ur url i won’t post it and if i can’t recall why ur blocked i might as well unblock (as long as ur age is present)

anyway if i block u i’m not saying everyone should come swarm me with “can i ask why” bc that would be annoying but sometimes writers are human and sometimes we block for dumb reasons and if you think perhaps you haven’t rly done anything worth blocking besides maybe me taking out a bad mood on a slightly accidentally annoying thing u did, i might just unblock if ur url doesn’t ring a bell in my mind for something memorably obnoxious. especially if u think it’s bc u didn’t have an age in ur bio before—some of u don’t know to do that till after and i get that !!—im happy to unblock if you’ve since then added an age. but again this isn’t an open invitation for all blocked blogs (id assume ur lurking if ur blocked and reading this LMAO) to come ask me why or for an unblock but sometimes if u rly believe you’ve been blocked by mistake or for a petty reason i’m willing to check is all i’ll say

anyway yeah if u see this send ur url—be mindful of any comments or tags u leave, sometimes u might be unintentionally a bit rude and that could be a big reason why !! also don’t spam like i rly rly hate that

edit: i appreciate the kind comments about my writing NFJSJF i thought i’d add that in bc ofc sharing writing is the main reason im here and hearing u enjoy it and such is nice to know. thank u for reading and thinking highly of it that’s rly sweet <3

[1d1195]

Kinda feel bad for those other stories lol but I have no doubt that they will have their shining moment and I’ll love them just as much! So excited to see how all of these turn out! And a grump x sunshine vibe?! A CLASSIC!

I get what you’re saying when it comes to consistency but that still doesn’t mean it hurts any less when it happens! Still I hope that you get out of this funk soon! Hope your grocery shopping and prepping went well! Lowkey did the same thing today and i absolutely HATE grocery shopping like it’s just too much 😭

Bestie you are so wrong I’m NOT that great😭 idk I have a very weird way of viewing myself and my college doesn’t help with that lol this entire experience has been ROUGH to say the least then mix in my own mental health struggles/life it’s kinda crazy I’m even in this deep lol basically it’s giving gifted kind burn out vibes lol but you’re so sweet seriously you’re kind words are always so appreciated!

Yay to walks and writing! It’s the little things that count and make a difference! And I like the idea of you having books as a little treat for you during the school year! I know it’s probably annoying to constantly hear about “balancing” bc it’s easier said than done but having stuff like that will hopefully help❤️ and I’m sure anyone in like school/academic settings those months are probably super busy so it’s understandable!

The reveal of him not knowing made everything better! It was NOT lame at all if anything it was so you to add something like that in the story, truly loved it!

Taking that break was a really good decision! And I will ALWAYS support you putting yourself first! I can’t even imagine how you may have been during that time that you took a step back :( but I’m glad that it allowed you to come back better! And honestly if you ever feel like that or even remotely near it, please take a step back! Once again you are most important! It makes me happy that you do have a place to vent and that you have so many lovely people that adore you! I know for me at least I love getting to know you and I love you!!! Wishing you the best my love!-���

I've actually alluded to one of them several times, but I've been keeping it pretty well under wraps 🤭 overall. I can't remember when I added the outline to my document. I think she's going to be grumpy hehehehe 🤭

Grocery shopping was great. It's actually one of my favorite tasks. But prepping did not happen...I did a REALLY good job pre-covid. Covid happened and I was like "If I make one more meal I will kms" idk, I think i've mentioned I HATE dishes (hence why it's a main source of contention in my stories) and it sucks all the fun out of cooking for me. Baking is one of my favorites though (less dishes usually) also why it ends up being a theme in my stories hehehe

I think I'm having my own version of gifted kid burn out. I def wasn't gifted. I was just a good student (if that makes sense) like yeah, I just had good study habits and stamina to learn material, but idk if I'm all that intelligent lol. Mental health really is the pits lol. Ruins everything. Happy to give you words of encouragement. I think people who need it don't always hear it. Or maybe I try to encourage everyone on their own path because teaching 🤷‍♀️ regardless, you deserve encouragement 💕

The only time I feel like taking a step back from tumblr these days is when my engagement is kinda low :( I sort of spiral and I'm all "No one even cares that I'm writing this, I don't even need to post no one will care or notice. No one likes it" very like over the top dramatics lol But I hate coming up with names for stories and idk where I would put my stories otherwise if not here. Probs just sit on my laptop collecting dust. I will say, it's pretty cool to see how much I've written like I really can go on and on, can't I? 😂

I LOVE YOU TOO! 💕

xoxo

[rlljayhon]

5/12/24 (heppi mothaz day)

"if you're everybody's friend, your own enemy is you" - derived from mike tyson

anywho! i am doing worse in regards to managing my feelings! yippee!!!! idk why is liking someone so annoying HAHA thankfully denise told me something that was a slap to the face and it kept me in line lmao umm I think I deserve better like I should be looking for a relationship where I feel wanted! but alas I do not respect myself nor love myself enough to do that!!! i mean I wasn't actively looking for something before this whole situation occurred which is why I'm "okay" with where I am at??? i guess??? and they have already made it pretty clear they just want to stay friends, and they don't really do anything or say anything that makes me think they are interested either!! so why do I still feel this way!!! it isn't going to go anywhere!! blahhh!!!! i just need to do a better job of keeping things casual methinx!! bc if they like changed their mind (which will never happen, just a hypothetical) like I would have to think, do they actually like me for me??? or just the attention they get y'know??? baggage baggage catch me at LAX bc I be carrying around all this damn BAGGAGE!!! on the plus side! i have learned that I really like someone who has a lot of qualities I wish I had heh also I do not know if I would wanna be /w someone who is like loud and as energetic as I am LMAO I like the dynamic of being silly and making someone embarrassed in public like not in a bad way but I guess causing a scene HAHA bc me and another goofball I think I would get tired of that and it would be like,,, too much of myself

idk i think im just gonna ride it out until either one of us meets someone or decides to call it off! i will be pretty bummed when that happens, bc I mean yeah all this sucks but I mean I am still having fun!! well that day/situation/talk is inevitable like thanos' snap so it is just a matter of when I guess also on tik tok today I got recommended a one shot manga like its just one chapter and it was this cute little romance called parasol alliance and I liked it a lot so I looked for more one shot mangas -> I found a website and sorted by most popular and I found one I really liked! it was really cute!! but towards the last like 20% of the manga IT BECAME A FUCKIN PORN!!! WHATT!?!?! i mean,,, I wasn't gonna stop there yknow I was already invested n gotta see it thru HAHA it was just so silly like I did not expect that shit at all, and all the comments on that website are just a bunch of thirsty ass weeby girls going like, omgggg he is soo hottt HAHA I guess its like the fanfic to hentai manga pipeline or some shit

--------> Had to add in some shit after reading the last post

I LOVE THE KASAMAS!!! <3 anakbayan has been great for me like having a whole new group of friends is so nice and everyone is so fun and it is so so so amazing to know we are all together fighting and working towards the same goal!!! but also even tho everyone likes me a lot I find it sometimes hard to relate bc I'm in the like 10% of the org who is straight LMAOOOOO but that is okay!! i am just so excited to be done with finals so I can game and fuckin work out and read manga and WORK and learn more about the Phillippines!!! also probably buy a balisong and learn more kendama tricks too lol

[the-acid-pear]

Took me three days to finish the Salt Route concept video and god i'm gonna be such a hater im gonna put this under the cut but i don't want my poor ex to hear me complain so yall must suffer on her place

LIKE, MAN. I'll start off by saying the technical stuff was okay. I really enjoyed the music (gonna try find the fight song), the animations weren't perfect but were good enough and the random drawings were nice I liked those jumpscares. There's things like the shaking textboxes and Queen's fight background changing color which were Something but it was fine.

WHAT WAS NOT FINE WAS THE FUCKING LAG. THAT WAS SO FUCKING ANNOYING WHY ON EAAARTH DID THEY ADD LAG⁉️

Anyway even if you overlook the lag, the real problem of this video is the story on its own, which is arguably the most important part.

(also there were some issue with the pacing but more on that later-)

This recreation respected the main story beats but added sooo much in between. And some of it was alright! I loved the fucking Roulx bit so much and the Swatchling dying was cool too, but... Most other additions felt like so much.

Like, the problem really lies in the fact that you cannot forget what the source material is like. Even during Snowgrave this game remains goofy! Look at Spamton NEO's fight, the dialogue is so sad and yet so funny. HE EVEN TELLS YOU TO GO PLAY MINECRAP AT SOME POINT!

You cannot ignore the sheer goofiness in Spamton tagging along with Kris because he lost his goddamn keys. The video took itself way too seriously, when there was so much comedy to play off on! Roulx at least did his part for that 🙏😔

Unfortunately the absence of goofiness translates as an over presence of edginess. And with edginess comes out of characterness. And lord did this get kind of edgy. Like, I get it, snowgrave, manipulation and whatnot, but they ramped it waaay up to the point it just made Kris seem evil for no reason!

Because we sure as hell started this route but Kris was the one to continue it. Like when they tied Spamton up. What was up with that? Or hell, THE SOLID MINUTE BEATING HE TOOK. The player didn't instruct them to do any of those, Kris did it on their own. And it's almost fucking hilarious to see, but it's played completely straight, it's Narmy as fuck !!!!

Kris wasn't the only OOC tho, Spamton was too. Sure Kris has him at the foot of the canyon doing all the murdering himself, and the Addison bit was edgy but I can excuse it bc 1) I have a soft spot I'm not all hate 2) it was in the dream, but this puppet would NOT care about killing so many. His ass did not FLINCH when giving you the thorn ring. He was soooo okay with you freezing everyone, to act like this would be any different is just untrue.

And!!! And, another thing. The heart ripping off part. I have very mixed feelings about that... I mean, i think it's meant to have some Deeper Meaning? As to justify Spamton's ending? More on that in a second btw; but like, I think Spamton was just huffing copium to justify getting his ass handed by a 13 yo. So it's like... It's the same as I said with Spamton's reaction, Kris wouldn't care more about this than they cared about Snowgrave.

UNLESS they just tried to rip their heart out bc they fucking hated Spamton and couldn't stand being around his annoying ass any second longer, in which case the beating is justified too, but that's just a possible interpretation 👍 KEHEMDHNDDB

Like, so much would've had improved if this video stuck to the stablished in Snowgrave and in the og post, going not for physical abusive but psychological one. I'm sure the post said you had to CONVINCE Spamton, that would've been way more fitting to see! And it makes Kris neutral while we are evil.

But, hey, it wasn't all bad, so let me point out some bits I REALLY liked that I haven't pointed out yet like: the boat ride pic. The little comment as they pretended to be friends about it not being genuine was so good. The Swatchling dying and Queen trying to interrupt also was sick. Roulx, cannot stress that enough... SWATCH'S LIL GOOFY ASS LETTER, SAYING TO NOT BE BLUE. Also Swatch (or a Swatchling but I think it was the bird themselves) jumpscared me hard when they went behind the door. God, and the queen fight too, that was so faithful.

But! It segways me perfectly into my last complain which is ! The pacing of this video was so over the place omfg. There's so many scenes that did NOT need to be that long. Like c'mon, we already had deviations from the original gameplay, you don't need to make fights like 5 minutes long.

Wild to see how good the op was at some very hard attacks but how bad they were at others.

OVERALL 👏 no hard feelings toward the creator I fully encourage you watching the video and agreeing or disagreeing with me but man, how I wish it had been sillier. That's my final review of the salt route concept video 👍