#my guy has TOXIC TRAITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT HE IS UNLEARNING OVER TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[natsmagi]

some more natsume gender posting but i do admittedly get very annoyed when i see people claim natsume hates things related to femininity because thats just. Blatantly not true. i did make a post a little while back talking about natsumes gender generally (might be a lil dated by now but eh), but there are some additional points id like to make

first thing being natsume very much enjoys more feminine things!! particularly things related to baking/gardening because thats what he would do with his mom when he was little!!!! (plus his newly added skill being cooking!)

with this and his undying love for his mom in mind, does it not make sense for natsume to hold feminine activities fondly? not only is he quite good at it, but it reminds him of his childhood spent with his mom!! he looks up to her alot!! and hes also thankful for the childhood he had because it makes him feel more unique. literally how does any of this read as a hatred towards femininity or his upbringing??? his mom is literally his number 1 inspiration and shes the reason he had this upbringing to begin with. Frankly the assumption that he hates feminine things just flat out does not make sense

and he doesnt even necessarily mind things like "-chan" either. though this one depends entirely on the person. for example kanata is allowed to call natsume nacchan but if tsumugi calls him natsume-chan blood will be spilt. to re-emphasize the point made in my previous post; natsumes biggest concern is being viewed as weak. he hates being infantilized more than anything. when tsumugi calls natsume "natsume-chan" thats not tsumugi feminizing natsume, thats tsumugi reminiscing on the child natsume he used to know. when tsumugi calls natsume "natsume-chan" it feels like hes not being taken seriously, that hes still viewed as a child, that he hasnt matured (which is also why he doesnt like being called "cute" bc. yknow. kids r cute). and this is a REALLY big insecurity of his. he hates being viewed as naive. In the same vein though, natsume is insecure about not being manly enough too (such as him viewing his inability to swim as "not manly"). Which is also a really interesting point of discussion when it comes to natsumes character! but its important to note that his insecurity in his masculinity does NOT translate to a hatred of femininity. natsumes relationship with gender is an incredibly nuanced one and its so frustrating when people dont even bother trying to read into it and just completely generalize his character

with that said natsume DOES have some internalized misogyny though. But this ones kinda hard to navigate as. well. Almost the entire cast has had some to a certain extent at some point. esp in the early stories. which could all just be bad writing. But it adds to the complexities of femininity and womanhood, how the two are often associated despite being distinct from one another. and with this distinction between the two it adds ANOTHER interesting layer to natsume and his own relationship with gender, because we know he didnt mind being raised as a girl (its just incredibly fucking embarrassing that people know about it), yet his views on gender seem kind of........ Conservative. with him assuming anzu is bad at games bc shes a girl, claiming arashis lying to kids by calling herself a princess, worried that people will view him as less of a man for being unable to swim, etc etc. Like you truly cannot just read ONE story and think you now have a full grasp on natsume and his relationship with his gender. i cannot stress enough how complex it is. but this complexity is exactly what makes it resonate. if you're insecure, it makes sense for you to develop a toxic habit of punching down in order to get higher, esp since we know natsume doesnt handle his emotions super well

this section will be very speculatory and is just my own personal analyzis, so dont take it as gospel. But from my understanding it seems like natsume does genuinely enjoy more feminine things, but hes caught up in gender expectations (potentially due to him knowing both what its like to be a girl and a guy?) that this can cause him to say admittedly quite bigoted things due to his insecurities. natsume is a character that wants to be perceived a certain way; he wants to be cool, mysterious, alluring, but as we should all know by now This is a front he puts on. he very often puts on fronts and lies about his true nature and intentions. which all reads like a fear of authenticity. i dont think natsume genuinely holds those beliefs previously listed, he is just afraid of being vulnerable and, once again, having weak points exposed. he was told to be a girl when he was little and now hes basically told to be a guy without having the Common Guy Upbringing, which can easily turn into developing beliefs of toxic masculinity if you're the type who "plays the part" rather than being your authentic self. hes being told what a man is by the world around him so he tried to shape himself into it to play the part. He can be very blunt and cruel in his words to others, but i personally just see it as a projection from his end. its an attempt at making himself seem better and manlier than he actually is by using his words where hes lacking in action. You can pull off alot of mind games with a simple sentence alone. words can paint a deceiving picture if used correctly, and natsume is a fortune teller; if anyone knows how to say the right thing to get a certain impression from someone its him

i do also think its important to note that as time goes on natsume is starting to express himself genuinely more. Just like the rest of the enstars cast; his story is one of growth and bettering yourself as a person. coming to terms with who you are and learning to let others in

either way. im not one to gatekeep but i need ppl who dont read switch stories to stop speaking so definitively on natsumes relationship with his gender or im gonna start throwing rocks at people

TLDR this shit is NUANCED and to say its 100% this or 100% that does it a disservice to me

[deviant3lover]

What trope are you talking about for the batarou post? :0

Glad you asked! :) It’s been on my mind for a while, and I always struggle to put it into a coherent structure.

The trope where the Straight Fuckboys™  are putting up Tough Badass facades to hide the fact that being vulnerable and honest with their feelings terrifies them. Especially romantic ones: Internalised Homophobia and Toxic Masculinity that the Straight Fuckboys gradually unlearn when they realize that it’s making them feel horrible in several aspects of their life.

Feeling powerful and manly empowers them and they don’t forego it, but they learn that bottling up their feelings, hiding them from their loved ones, lying about what they want and need both to others and themselves, will make them miserable no matter what. That it’s okay to be lost, to be confused, to be vulnerable, to be honest- that being like that doesn’t automatically make you weaker than the times where you aren’t. That being like that is just a part of life, and what’s important is knowing how to cope with it when it comes- and not hating yourself for it when it happens.

Badd stood out to me as someone who can fit into this trope well, with his appearance, aggressive personality (does not take kindly to being degraded as a loudmouth who can’t back up his words by Tatsumaki), and easy association with jocks due to his baseball bat.

My personal headcanon for him is that he’s exclusively attracted to men, and that’s been a source of unease and discomfort for him for a while.

Not because he’s a raging homophobic! Of course not! But his jock guy friends, his delinquent guy friends, even the guy classmates he isn’t that friendly with- they all are attracted to women, (at least outwardly) leading to some feelings of alienation in his social circle.

He’d either pretend he finds some of the female celebrities/heroines hot when they bring the topic up, (I feel that would be less likely) or be outwardly disinterested, saying he’s got better things to do than ‘drooling over busy bigshots he ain’t interested in meeting,’ silently ignoring his growing unease when no one was eyeing up some of the male heroes he thought were pretty sweet lookin’ eye candy. It doesn’t help that in-universe, being seen as homosexual, I imagine, wouldn’t be too well received thanks to Puri-Puri Prisoner’s influence. The latter being considered the ‘worst S-Class’ and a ‘failure’ definitely doesn’t help PPP’s reputation, and Badd wouldn’t want to be considered like him in any regard for good reason. If not for himself, then for Zenko’s sake.

Slightly digressing from that, I feel like he’s the type of person who takes a certain amount of pride and care for being seen as a strong independent individual who can take care of their own problems- Garou as well! He’d be fairly reluctant in admitting he has weaknesses or shortcomings, and won’t react well to someone who might try to degrade him like that.

Garou I personally headcanon as someone who despises being seen as weak or vulnerable in any regard. (For many reasons which I can’t all include in this one post.) To which I feel like he’ll act more independent and self-confident around others, even towards those he cares about, to hide traits that he’d identify more closely with as a way to avoid being attacked where it would hurt.

Garou can tank the most brutal physical punishments that monsters can dole out, but his closely held beliefs and values are something he would guard and hide until his dying breath. It’s because of this that I feel like Garou would be very reluctant to be honest with himself, let alone with others. 

Admitting that he’s in love? He’d be terrified at the idea. Not necessarily in a nervous wreck kind of way. More like a ‘lashing out if someone tries to forcefully pry it out of him’ sort of way. 

He’d rather stuff down the feelings deep, deep down and try to force himself to believe that he’d want Badd as a fuck buddy, casting aside his yearning for gentle touch and sweet nothings in exchange for his usual cocky and antagonistic mannerisms as a roundabout way of wanting Badd, but not letting him onto the fact that he’s in love. 

He isn’t confident in himself like that; being hurt by someone who knows your beliefs, your deepest fears… someone who loves you and wants to protect and care for you… that can deal a devastating blow to Garou and he knows it. He isn’t ready for his heart to be ripped out.

[obscure-sentimentalist]

for ya boi tate 2, 3, 10, 18, 30, 38, 44, 57, 64, 70, 80, 92, 100

For the original character asks

Oh, Tate, my sweet boy who wasn’t even supposed to be an original character, but evolved on his own and silently demanded that I tell his real story. He was entirely unanticipated, and now I can’t shut up about him.

Character context: Tate Merlyn, hailing from the being-reworked-and-written Distortion ‘verse. Tommy’s twin brother in a world where Malcolm decided to bring his young sons to the League of Assassins and train them for his own purposes. It takes many years for the brothers to get out, but they eventually settle back into Starling City, falling in with a certain vigilante operation and forming a tight-knit friendship (and later become roommates) with Felicity.

2. Do they like animals? Well, Tate doesn’t not like animals. However, the circumstances of his life didn’t give him a chance to have a pet, nor put him in contact with domestic animals often, and he never really let himself feel anything about that lack. At first impression, he’s ambivalent about animals.

But find him in a brighter future and give him a kitten to hold or a dog to run into on the street, and he’ll melt the second he makes eye-contact with them. Lots of soft, dopey smiles all around.

3. How do they dress? Ah, yes, a topic that honestly shouldn’t hurt as much as it does.

Given that this is a universe where Malcolm is an even shittier father than in canon and has two sons who he’s shaped into his personal weapons from a young age, Tate doesn’t have a fashion sense for much of his life. When he isn’t in League uniform, his clothes are all black and gray, meant for utility and nothing more. The most he’ll allow himself is whatever excess warmth he can get from an old sweatshirt or hoodie, if one is on hand.

Even once he’s free enough to choose for himself, for a long time, Tate just… sticks with his wardrobe and its utter lack of character. Practical is fine, and it saves him time if he just grabs whatever’s in his drawer without looking--it’s about all the same, anyway. Why add another step?

It takes active intervention from Tommy and Felicity (and an incident involving a laundry mix-up) for Tate to start introducing more variety to his closet. He still opts for deeper, darker colors (more autumnal) for everyday wear, but at least it’s color. He’s also into flannels, though he has to be careful with any facial hair he might have, because he’ll make himself ripe for lumberjack-related playful mockery.

There are also plenty of warm sweaters and sweatshirts, because Tate loves being cozy, though the colors of those tend to lean on the lighter, softer end of the spectrum. He loves them, and over time begins to wear them more often than just around the house.

10. Do they have any nicknames? “Tater Tot.” There was no escaping that one, especially with a brother like Tommy. It’s often met with a fond “asshole” in reply, because these boys are such children.

He’s been called a few other silly things by those around him, though not quite to the level of a full-on nickname. Still, they’re often said quite lovingly, which fills Tate with a sort of warmth.

(He can’t say the same about the other names he’s gone by, so… he’ll take this.)

18. What flaws do they have? Tate’s biggest flaw is that he’s self-sacrificial as hell. It’s a character trait that sets up his whole role in the story, one that’s evolved painfully over time and the consequences of which are hooked deep in the narrative. Tate is just a dear, tragic boy whose attempts to protect and save his brother at the expense of himself go catastrophically wrong sometimes, and it takes him a very long time to unlearn that behavior.

Tate has plenty of other heavy-stuff flaws, but in more lighthearted terms… he can’t cook an edible meal, no matter how hard he tries. He can bake a little, if it’s just cookies or box-mix cake, and he’s a tea-making master, but any actual entree stands a fair chance of being toxic for human consumption. His archery skills are also abysmal--despite it being his father’s forte, and later surrounding himself with so many bow-wielding vigilantes--to the point where a plate of pancakes is more likely to be lethal than arrows fired by Tate. The people in his life lovingly refuse to let him live these foibles down.

30. What music do they enjoy? For the most part, Tate likes whatever songs make him happy, or simply jive with him. He’ll dig into some artists if more than a few of their tracks already appeal to him, but by and large he’ll rely on stumbling across individual songs that have a nice sound, no matter the genre.

He does tend to favor pieces that are more instrumental or have subtler, simpler vocals, though. It’s partially because that’s best suited to his quiet demeanor, and partially because lyrics are a bit of a tough spot for him, especially with more emotional, introspective songs. He can certainly appreciate well-crafted songwriting, but every once in a while a line will strike him in a particular, relatable way, and it makes him uncomfortable. Tate’s also a bit of an old man with a lot of top hits, grumbling about how he just wants some fun tunes, but here’s everyone talking about their bodies and other people’s and what they’re going to do with them, can he please just get songs about platonic affection every once in a while.

38. Are they the hero, or anti-hero? Definitely a hero, even though he won’t think of himself in those terms for a very long time, and his introduction in the present of the narrative--catching him at his lowest, darkest, most threatening point--sure doesn’t make it seem that way. His journey from that stage to the soft, heroic boy he becomes is messy and complex, but so meaningful.

44. How do they speak? Examples - Are they soft spoken, hot heated, vulgar Truly, my favorite part of this precious boy, the most defining Tate trait. He just… doesn’t speak much.

It’s not that he’s not good with words, or doesn’t pay much attention--Tate is pretty damn eloquent when he wants to be, and is observant to a fault. He’s merely incredibly selective with when and how he uses his words, which is a very distinctive contrast from Tommy’s frequent need to say something. Tate is fully capable of getting his point across with his body language and expression alone, or lets his brother do the talking for both of them.

To some extent, this is his nature, to be quiet and lean more into the nonverbal, but it was certainly exacerbated by the conditions he grew up under. In dealing with Malcolm and any sort of League business, Tate’s instinctive defense was to keep silent and speak only when expected--typically in response to or in clarification of orders. Quiet became less of something calming and wanted; and more of a necessity, a protection, a falling-in-line.

Tate may speak more often--not by much, but somewhat--in better times, but that’s because he feels comfortable and free enough to do so, and he’s leagues from being as talkative as Tommy. Still, even his silence is different, more expressive of his current mood instead of just serving as white noise, a smothering and muting of his feelings.

57. What do they do when they are happy? Tate is just a very tactile, huggy guy when he allows himself to be, and that often becomes particularly clear when he’s in a good mood. The happier he is, the more octopus-like he gets with his clinginess, but it’s sweet.

Either that, or he just dives head-first into his love of tea--making it, organizing his collection of it, buying more of it...

64. Do they like to dance? If he’s asked, Tate won’t answer that question--he’ll just silently raise his eyebrows and stare pointedly back at whoever brought it up. (If it’s Oliver or Roy, there’s another layer to the look, a clear returning of the question to them in challenge.)

The truth of it is yes, he does like to dance if the music and time are right, but he looks like a suburban dad at a barbecue when he does and he’s well aware of that fact. Better to act like he’s a townsperson from Footloose than hint that he even attempts to have a sense of rhythm.

70. Do they like themselves? Oof.

Tate… he’s done things. Granted, most of them were because he never actually had a choice unless he was willing to risk the consequences (if he was the assured sole recipient of them, he’d be more likely to; unfortunately, this was rarely ever the case, so Tate would fall in line for Tommy’s sake), but Tate is still accountable for how they went down. For as much as he can attribute his actions to trying to keep himself and his brother alive and free from as much harm as is avoidable, there’s still literal blood on his hands.

The thing that burns Tate the most, though, is the one decision he made of his own volition with the direct intention of hurting Tommy--again, for his safety, but that doesn’t make it any better. While the twins reconcile and rebuild their brotherhood even stronger than before, it’s still a blackened spot in their history even with the truth of it unraveled.

The question of whether or not Tate likes himself will be met with a vehement no for longer than anyone around him might expect, even as he gets more comfortable in his new life and knits himself into a group of people he can trust and who care. It’s recovery from the harm of the past, but Tate won’t feel comfortable in saying he likes himself until he figures out who that even is.

It’ll take time, but one day he’ll have a positive response.

80. How would they fare in a zombie apocalypse? Oh, Tate has the necessary skills down pretty darn well, knife expert ex-assassin and survivalist that he is. His biggest problem in that situation would just be the bitter frustration that he spent nearly 20 years of his life just trying to make it through a terrible situation, and he gets out only to be dumped into this? It’s another long fight for his life, which is disheartening for a guy who’s finally let himself admit that he just wants a chance to actually live. But he’ll handle it with grim determination, and hopefully with his brother at his side.

92. If they were given minutes to live, what would they do? Who would they want to see and say? Tate wouldn’t say much of anything here--he rarely ever needs words to express himself to the fullest.

Depending on the timeline--even solely focused on his better days--the number of people he’d want to see varies (thankfully, it grows as the years pass). But if he’s on a tight time limit and can only choose a few, then it’s without a doubt Tommy and Felicity. The three of them are the core found family (well, the twins are obviously twins, but still), the foundation of Tate’s life free of his father’s plans. And all Tate would want from his last minutes is to have the two of them present, to hold and be held in a tight group hug.

Tate is truly a simple man--just give him his people and a hug, and he can make peace with the situation.

100. Are they a day, or night person? Tough to say with Tate. For most of his life, he’d never really had that luxury--he���d be up at the asscrack of dawn or wide awake under the night sky depending on what was required of him. He’s adaptable by necessity.

But if we look to his better future… he’s still kind of middle-ground. He’ll generally be up at a reasonable definition of early in the morning, but also likes to take naps around the house when it’s particularly sunny and he’s not busy. Likewise, Tate will be fully alert at night for the amount of time he needs to be (whether it’s for crime-fighting-related activities, or just movie night), but will pass out the second he drops onto his bed, if he feels safe and comfortable enough with his surroundings to do so.

[the-battle-lesbian]

Okay little shits I want to say some words about the Earp Sisters- particularly my darling Willa

I see a lot of you guys have been giving her quite a bit of flack- you know for hating Waverly and shooting Nicole and unleashing a writhing tentacle beast on Purgatory. Now these are all very bad things. But I’d like to take a moment to explore how we got here. And as a clinical child psychologist specializing in abuse and trauma- I have A LOT to say about these three. Because OH BOY do they run the spectrum of child abuse outcomes in the real world.

Now, I want to start by saying all three of the Earp sisters were born into an abusive household. But the three had some very different experiences of abuse/neglect, and environment is SO important on child development. Like genetics is some basic groundwork but really it’s environment that does most of the shaping. In this analysis, let’s start youngest:

Waverly Earp. Now Waverly is like an ideal outcome from abuse. Clearly this girl was born with a hell of a lot of resilience in her genes (that Earp? legacy). She can bounce back from a crisis. But, she kinda got it easiest of the three: she was only in the homestead until she was 6- after that she was raised by Gus and Uncle Curtis in what was no doubt a much healthier, stabler household. Now see age 6 is important- because personality is generally done developing just before puberty- about 10 years of age. This factoid of personality development will come up again later, but for Waverly, being removed from a toxic environment at a young age meant she actually had a chance to unlearn/recover from many of the more nasty potential effects of severe neglect (she was by far the most neglected I mean a demon was her best friend and NO ONE KNEW) as well as the sibling abuse inflicted by Willa (blackmail, sadism, power plays- not a good sign in a child). 

Now does the abuse still affect her? Hell yeah! She still lived through it and it changed her permanently- you see it in how she needs love and attention (why else go for Champ as soon as Wynonna leaves town? She needed ANYBODY) even at her own expense. She downplays herself, but simultaneously wants to be important (the Heir- cause you know her dad only cared about the Heir). And you know what I think? She didn’t resist telling Wynonna about Nicole because she was scared what she would think. No. Wynonna of course doesn’t care. No she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to even risk Nicole getting involved in the toxicity surrounding the Earp family. She wanted Nicole separate to keep her safe (remnant thought process from Willa using what Waverly loved to blackmail her). But still, even with all of this, she is not as severely affected as she would’ve been if she had stayed neglected and abused for say, 12 or 13 years. Waverly had intervention, and real world case studies of severe emotional neglect have shown that a child as old as 5-6 can bounce back remarkably well in the right care. I mean to where you wouldn’t know they had been through Hell- at least not immediately.

Wynonna Earp. Middle sibling, mix of neglect and abuse. She is the most moderate/common outcome from abusive childhoods- with healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms and personality traits meshed together. Like Waverly, resilient as hell, because she lived in that environment for 12 years, and unlike Waverly didn’t get a healthy stable home afterwards. No she got the foster care system and juvie and unhelpful counselors who essentially gaslighted her (unintentionally but it’s still gaslighting) which does no one any favors. So Wynonna had way more negative environment time, yet she still held on to her “good” side- she has a moral code she follows, she cares for those close to her, she’s able to have a healthy relationship with at least one person (Waverly). I’d almost say she’s shown the most resilience of the three. Now her childhood experience is interesting, because she’s in the middle of this spectrum. She didn’t receive the full force of Ward’s attention because she wasn’t the Heir, Willa was. So that’s less aggression abuse from him, instead she was more neglected by him. But her very close age with Willa put her close to that aggression abuse as she experienced it vicariously through Willa. She saw what he did to Willa by way of abuse and Waverly by neglect, and seeing that affected her. It made her so, so protective and parental. Of both Waverly and Willa. So while Ward may not have done much direct abuse to Wynonna, she still lived it. And it affected her to make her a caretaker. 

It’s also a form of displacement on Wynonna’s part- to be a caretaker. The prospect of caring for herself is far too daunting but caring for another? More doable. Taking a caretaker role also helps her regain some sense of control, none of which she had when she had to witness Ward’s abuse and couldn’t help Willa or Waverly. Now some of you may be asking: “Didn’t she see Willa abuse Waverly? How could she still care for Willa?” Remember she had known Willa much longer than Waverly, and on top of that she knew WHY Willa was so callous and aggressive- she knew first hand why. So she explained it away because she loved Willa and saw she was broken and I’m willing to bet when she witnessed the sibling abuse, she stepped in. I have a feeling Willa did most of it under the radar. Hell I bet even Wynonna got some verbal or emotional abuse at times from Willa, but she went with it because it was less severe. And again she would explain it away. And in Willa’s absence, Wynonna idolized her even more, and she became a myth of herself. Her good qualities remembered over her bad ones. Waverly had a different experience seeing as she didn’t HAVE any good memories of Willa.

Now to the contentious point. Willa Earp. Now I’ve taken you through the personality development of Waverly and Wynonna. You see how they came to be. Now I’m going to show you how Willa came to be. As the Heir, Willa was THE focus of Ward’s attention. And this is where it begins. If she had been neglected she may have actually had a shot, ironically. Because Ward promoted aggression, antisocial behavior, and created a culture of fear. We’ve only seen glimpses but he was taking her out in the middle of night telling her how everyone would die and it’d be her fault. He was creating a paranoid soldier. Now this is awful for a child’s development, especially personality. Remember she lived under Ward’s thumb for 13 years- her personality had long since formed, and it formed to cope with constant fear and a desire to gain some semblance of control over her situation to stay safe. And to keep Wynonna safe. I do not doubt she loved Wynonna- but she loved her how she LEARNED to love another human. Ward had no problem hurting and scaring Willa in a horribly misguided attempt at raising her. She knew as a child that fathers are supposed to love their daughters. So Ward’s abuse must have been how you love (in the mind of young Willa), and you see her applying this with Wynonna. She was more than ready to kill Wynonna because she truly believed it was a kindness and a show of love. 

Did Willa ever love Waverly? I do not think so. Because Waverly didn’t show up until Willa was already about 8 years old and completely bonded to Wynonna. And, I think she was too busy to learn to love her, which I’ll explain more later on. Even in a healthy family, it’s not uncommon for an older sibling to resent a younger one, but add in the way Willa has been treated and raised up until that point, and you get the extreme response of sibling abuse. Now you might ask “So why didn’t Wynonna do the same? Why did she get parental while Willa got aggressive?” and the answer is (for the first time in this whole spiel) likely genetics. 

A quick lesson: everyone is born with a specific type of temperament, which in short is how a child naturally deals with their emotions. Do they sorta “go with the flow” of their emotions, are they a powder keg with strong, uncontrollable emotions, or some mix? Temperament forms the building blocks of all further personality development, and it is far far from destiny. But it’s a genetic predisposition to regulate your emotions in a certain way. And it is interconnected with that resilience I’ve mentioned previously. 

Resilience, if you aren’t sure, is a child’s ability to cope with adversity. The greater the resilience, the more likely a child is to come away from adversity without major psychological harm. A highly resilient child, is more likely to have a “good” temperament (moderate level emotions, relatively easy to work with) whereas a child with low resilience is more likely to have an “at-risk” temperament (very strong emotions that are difficult to regulate). Wynonna, with her obviously high resilience, clearly had a “good” temperament growing up. Willa, most definitely was an “at-risk” temperament (her losing her cool at the slightest provocation with Whiskey Jim for example), and combined with the severe abuse and aggressive environment, that temperament blossomed into the rest of her personality. 

A third vital ingredient in this is called cognitive load. What that refers to is basically how much mental effort/energy the brain spends performing a task or tasks. There is a finite amount of cognitive load the brain can handle, and so it must apportion its time as it sees fit. If there’s a lot of stimuli (external and internal) to deal with, the brain will prioritize, again, as it sees most fit, leaving out “unnecessary” information. EVERYTHING take some cognitive load, from thinking through a problem, to emotional regulation, to social relationships. And we all know you can only juggle so much.

Now let’s combine these three concepts together in Willa. Willa was born with an “at-risk” temperament, which means she has BIG emotions and cannot regulate them well. That takes a LOT of cognitive load to manage. She also has lower resilience to adversity, and some of resiliency’s power comes from a LARGE capacity for cognitive load. You are more resilient if you are better able to process and work through adversity instead of getting drowned in it. So low resiliency=low cognitive load capacity. This already low cognitive load capacity had to deal with emotional regulation of a veritable firecracker, so it’s mostly busy doing that. Add in her forced focus on Ward’s “training” (skills and cognitive tasks) and abuse, and her close bond to Wynonna (a social relationship to manage and someone to protect) and her poor brain is overloaded. It can’t handle any more responsibilities. So when Waverly comes along she sees another potential responsibility and says no. So instead Waverly becomes not only a nuisance to her (she’s got enough to focus on already), but an outlet for her frustration and pain. She has no control with Ward, but she can control Waverly like he does to her. She can feel big, and what kid doesn’t take comfort in feeling big?

Another major thing I want to point out with adult Willa is her obviously stunted emotional and social development, which is no surprise. I’m willing to bet growing up she really didn’t have any friends besides Wynonna, so all of her socialization happened in the Earp homestead (not a great place as has been clearly demonstrated). Willa shows an understanding of the world that is basically that of a preteen. It’s shown as a black and white understanding of other people when she tells Wynonna of the citizens of Purgatory “They hate us Wynonna, they’re evil they deserve that thing!”. It also plays into her lack of emotional regulation, because even a child with an “at-risk” temperament tends to improve some as they age because they learn ways to cope. Willa never did. Now not only did Ward contribute to this stunted development but so did being isolated by Bobo and Lou.

And finally it is here where I will address the Stockholm Syndrome briefly. Only briefly because while she clearly has it- believing Bobo loves her- it did not create Willa as she is. That happened long before Bobo. Bobo used what Ward had started, that’s probably part of what drew him to Willa. Bobo’s influence sure as hell didn’t help because all he did was reinforce everything she had learned up until that point. But Stockholm alone did not make Willa. It’s a much more complicated story and it is tragic and it is one that needs to be heard. She is a product of fear and pain and the need to survive, and while her history does not change the fact that as she is now she is a villain, she is a villain worth sympathy. Because the poor thing never really had a chance from day one. So I dare you to instead take a look at Willa not as the evil lesbian-shooter, but as a scared child trained to be a soldier who is solely responsible for everyone’s lives who cannot handle the pressure and needs to escape and doesn’t know any other way but destruction.