#and i love theoretical physics but i also want to Help People

[eva-does-their-best]

Going from "I'm not one of those trans people who do x or y" to "I am so one of those and I should have not judged them and I am glad that I got rid of the normative judgemental attitude I used to have".

Going from "I'm just a lesbian so liking trans men is wrong i don't want to deny their manhood" to "My sexuality is weird and that is fine, I like who I like despite the theoretical implications of it and I am not denying anyone's identity because I like them for who they are and respect them no matter what".

Going from "I'm just a regular binary she/her woman" to "I'm a girl and a woman but my dissociation and life experiences also make me feel impersonal so I can use it/its and I'm not weird for it, i wouldn't even be weird if I had no justification either, I can even use doll pronouns because I like them and they make me feel warm and happy and that is what matters".

Going from "Ok so these are all the labels with their very clear definitions and meanings and everything else is internet quirky stuff" to "I literally would not know how to explain what you are and I won't force you to explain it if you don't want, I don't need to understand it to accept you, you are valid and loved. If you instead want to explain it to me I'll do my best to learn and defend it whenever I can".

Going from "I am so sad, frustrated, angry and in pain because I will never be or look cis" to "I actually don't like the cis normative look, I don't want to cispass, I like trans beauty but specifically I like me beauty, the one where I am still myself but a more me version of myself. The world constantly told me what I should aspire to be and look like and like and I was brainwashed for so long but now I've broken free and am free to fully love myself and everyone else in this world who ever thought they were weird or ugly because my eyes find so much beauty in everything and everyone!"

Going from "Ew furries" to "I don't want to make fun of people who deviate from the norm because that is exactly what happens to me and we should all be together or else we are treating ourselves as exceptions and exceptions are easily revoked, I will learn to love everyone against a brain poisoned with conservativism and "normality". I like rats I should make a rat fursona or smth it would be so cute it'd so represent me :3".

Going from "I am useless, lazy, falling behind, a disappointment" to "I am physically and mentally disabled, there have never been accomodations for me in any aspect of my life and the intersectionalities of gender, sexuality, economical situation, etc. have made my life extremely difficult, I forgive myself for both failing and for blaming myself, I will seek help and advocate for myself to the best of my abilities and I will respect my limits in this world that was not made for people like me".

Learning is hard, changing is scary, but it's mostly just your brain being a conservative for the sake of commodity, safety and self-preservation, sometimes you need to fight your brain in a war of attrition but when you finally win you'll be so much happier.

I am so much happier now, my world is bigger and brighter and I see everyone and everything with a new, beautiful light. I look back on how I was and how I thought and how the world works and it all looks so much worse and grey, I am not going back there, this new mind is my home now.

And the best part is that I know I will keep learning more and changing more and the world and this life will keep getting better and better🥰.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi! last anon here again. i won't go over all your advice here, and there's some i disagree with, but i have found it helpful and insightful as a whole, so thank you. i don't know if you actually wanted clarification on these things, but i figured it would be worth providing in case you genuinely wanted it.

straps as female disidentification - i do see it as different from other sex aids; it's partially about not imposing man/woman sex dynamics on sex between women, and also that as part of recovering from trans identity i've been encouraged to disengage with any practices, thoughts, or self-beliefs that represent false consciousness/male identification, and that includes a desire to have a penis/penetrate women/take the male role, and replace that with meditation and mindfulness. unfortunately i suck at meditation so i haven't gotten anywhere. i see it more as a behavioural problem than an object problem; it's unhealthy because it's a maladaptive coping mechanism about reality; i don't have a penis and can never have one and pretending i do during intimacy is hurting a theoretical sex partner.

female infantilization - this is about the bush thing; attraction to shaved vulvas is dysfunctional and unnatural.

being put off women's bodies - again this is a dysphoria thing mostly. i like how pretty much all women's bodies look, particularly femmes, and before radfem stuff i mostly just felt horny seeing nude women, but being in an environment that's very focused on the importance of reproductive organs and secondary sex characteristics to female identity has involuntarily caused me to fixate on this; when i see a woman naked i end up thinking about her uterus and the size of her breasts and her hips in relation to passing; i know that things like testosterone/hysterectomies/double masectomies/binding are really unhealthy for you physically and psychologically now, so seeing a woman's body makes me uncomfortable now because i just feel a kind of despair that if she has big breasts or big hips she'll never be able to pass for male without hurting herself and if she has small breasts or hips she got lucky with natural androgyny and she's wasting it, either way neither her or me have any way out of this and we're female forever. which is not very arousing.

once again, thank you for your advice. it's definitely given me a lot to think about (and read). i appreciate you hearing me out.

I'm actually stoked for a response, because these clarifications are very illuminating and genuinely so saddening to read.

that entire paragraph about disavowing the strap is genuinely tragic to me, as an advocate that people should just fuck however they want to fuck. you'd think if womanhood was such an innate and unchangeable thing then a fake dong wouldn't have the power to somehow impose manhood in a relationship between women, but I guess the strap is more powerful than I realized. I would love to know if this applies to fingering, given that you can't really argue that fingers are specific to any gender, or women who use straps to peg their male partners.

being told to meditate instead of want to fuck women is so funny, it's really giving 15th century nunnery.

you may not have been born with a penis but it is just literally a factual reality that you could have on if you wanted; regardless of what radfems think of it, phalloplasty is a very real surgery that can in fact produce a sexually functional penis that many people are extremely satisfied with.

okay sure super normal to fixate on someone's uterus.

I do actually very seriously need to correct this part: testosterone/hysterectomies/double mastectomies/binding are not unhealthy. they're healthcare, and the people who benefit from them - which, reminder, is not only trans people - tend to experience tremendous boosts to their physical and mental health because of it. there's nothing radical at all about opposing people's rights to determine what they do with their own bodies, and between that and the hyperfixation on reproductive organs you sound /this/ close to explaining why women shouldn't be allowed to get abortions.

in the politest way possible if looking at women makes you sad because it reminds you of your own dysphoria, you need to get out of radfem spaces and start hanging with some trans people who can help you figure some stuff out and help you envision a future where you don't fear your own body and sexuality.

[kittenintheden]

Smut Writing Tips

I could go on for 600 years on this so I cut myself off at seven basic tips for improving your smut writing. I don't know how to name this something that isn't suggestive so fuck it we ride at dawn etc. If you're having trouble writing smut/improving your smut writing, here are a few things that might help? I'm not the ultimate authority, do whatever you want, take what serves you and leave the rest, etc.

1) Get in touch with what turns you on. You can take this literally or figuratively. You don't have to be sexually active or even sexually aroused to write smut! It's not required. But you should know what gets you going, you know? Because whatever you're into, there are other people out there who are into it, too. Writing the things you're passionate about translates to the page. If you're disconnected from what you're writing, it's going to read that way.

2) Practice by translating a personal fantasy to text. THIS IS FOR YOU ONLY. Unless you like it enough to share? But this is an exercise to get you past the initial discomfort and embarrassment of writing sexy scenes. Many of us have romantic or sexual fantasies, even those on the ace/aro spectrum. When they live in our head, they feel safe. When we put them to the page, they suddenly EXIST in a space where someone else can theoretically perceive them. Getting comfortable with that takes a little bit of work/practice.

3) Try writing from the POV of the subject of the reader's desire. When I smut, I write from my OC's POV sometimes, but more often... I write from Astarion's. That's intentional. It's hot to feel DESIRED, to feel WANTED. Being in the subject's head means that the reader is experiencing that desire for themselves. There's power and sexiness in knowing you're making someone feel that way.

4) Physical description and positioning is great, but how do they FEEL? If you've ever heard the term "male gaze," you know it's frequently applied to visual media, especially where the subjects are treated as objects to be observed rather than people with interior thought and feeling. Smut WRITING gives us the opportunity to both describe the actions taking place and also the internal responses of the characters. It's not just what goes where, it's how that makes the body feel, the mind, the heart. It deepens the scene. Not everything needs to be "making love," but the tension and character interaction are still vital.

5) Realism is a fine base but it's not required. Look, there are a lot of smut tropes out there that are not REMOTELY based on reality and we love them anyway because a big part of this style of writing is the FANTASY of the thing. Like, yes, it's going to take some readers out if you're describing a position that's not physically possible. That's something that should be workshopped. But like. People come here for sex pollen and knotting. It's okay to be a little weird. Just consider the fantasy logistics.

6) Sometimes a little humor or awkwardness adds to the experience. Not everything has to be peak romance of the highest order, you know? Sex is messy and weird. If the participants can be a bit messy and weird together, it's both character-building and endearing. Don't be afraid to be like, oh this resulted in fluids and now we have to take care of that.

7) The tension is as important as the cumshot. Yeah I said that. An important piece of writing burning-hot smut is properly building tension. You can do that in a few words or many words. The ANTICIPATION, the WANTING, the not-quite-there-but-god-I-wanna-be of it all. It makes the release that much sweeter.

[kings-highway]

I don't tend to talk a lot about my sexuality headcanons because I like to adjust things as I need for each story, but in honour of the end of pride month and the fact that I put off doing this for 30 full June days, I do want to talk about some of my favourite lgbt related headcanons for my HQ boys. A lot of these are "real" headcanons of mine (as in, stuff I actually write as a part of their character rather than just theoretically interesting asides) so you might recognize these if you've read my work!

This isn't going to be every character, just ones I have strong or specific takes on.

Starting off strong, I love Daichi being a completely unlabeled king. To decide on a label requires .05% introspection and by god he is not going to do that. I think his perspective on it is very "only what's in front of me matters" so when he feels attraction to a man for the first time he doesnt think this means he's attracted to ALL men, just this one. And in reverse, although he feels attraction to women, he doesn't think at any point his current attraction to women will stop him from falling in love with any non-women, so it never occurs to him that his feelings of attraction could even point to any one label because literally what does today have to do with tomorrow? He's just here. Asahi tries to suggest pansexual as a label when he tries to explain how he's simply open to whatever his heart wants and he gets mad because "i said ANY person not ALL people" and Asahi's like WHAT does that MEAN. All that being said, I think Daichi never considers himself queer/lgbt. Dude could be in a committed monogamous relationship with another man for ten years and when Suga suggests they go to a pride festival he's like "???for what???" All in all I think he's allergic to labels on his sexuality.

Related note, Asahi being asexual. I don't think Asahi is sex-repulsed at all, and later in life I think he definitely would enjoy being sexually active with a partner, but definitely when it comes to self identification, he simply does not feel attraction towards any gender. I also think he doesn't really crave physical intimacy even non-sexually, and he'd much rather talk through his feelings with someone rather than have them hug him to try and comfort him, so he really struggles to understand the kissing-sex thing even just from a theoretical pov. (Like why would you pick that over like a nice long heart-to-heart???) However I think this has to be coupled with like a panromantic attraction to all genders which makes him have a really hard time identifying what he actually wants and what will make him happy because there's a very uniform experience across people, which for someone so anxious already doesnt help him identify his own feelings at all. He probably very much struggles to relate to his classmates as they get excited for dating because even though he likes the idea of dating everyone always talks about dating as kissing and physical intimacy (because they're all like 17) and Asahi's like "sure, sure, sure, yeah, totally sure yeah" while just being fully checked out of the conversation

Ushijima! I fully believe that Ushijima is 100% gay, with no flexibility, but I also think he most identifies his own feelings via the negative, so he knows he doesn't experience sexual attraction towards women and mostly identifies via that, rather than acknowledging that he does feel attraction to men. I really like him answering questions this way, where if someone is asking about girls/his love life, he often replies with "I don't feel inclined towards women," or "I have no interest in finding a girlfriend/wife" which is, in his mind, the most true statement in regards to his sexuality. He almost NEVER out loud says anything about liking men or feeling attracted to men even though his crush/dating history is exclusively male. However, on the few occasions someone does directly ask him something like "so you're gay?" he will absolutely say yes. Like he is aware of what his feelings classify him as he just doesn't leap to those descriptors himself. I think part of the reason for this is that he's not really attracted to femininity in general, and he knows that femininity is not exclusive to women and that some men are not his type, so there's a part of his brain that thinks saying something like "I'm attracted to men" indicates ALL men (its that black and white autism brain clicking into gear) and that's simply not true, but saying he's not interested in women IS true in black and white autism land.

I don't have a fully formed thought on this one, but Tendou's gender is probably a little broken, right? I actually do think he still identifies as male, but I think if he had been born afab, he'd have been perfectly comfortable being a woman and identified as such. So maybe he's lightly agender but socially comfortable with being a man so he doesn't really bother with it. I do however think he doesn't "get" the whole gender thing. He probably thinks he's enlightened or something because he's so above being bothered by it all and he simply doesn't realize that's because he's agender and everyone else actually does feel a real connection to their gender they're not just making it up. This whole headcanon is mostly in service of that fact that I think Tendou with his sort of conventionally unattractive features would absolutely rock gender non-conforming fashion. Like put him in a long skirt and combat boots please. I don't think he has an ounce of femininity in him but there's something about the spiky red hair and monster gaze that goes so well with like... Female-tilted alt fashion. And I think he would dig that. And then get mad when people point out he's wearing women's clothes because "ugh literally why does anyone care about gender you're all so weird." (Proceeds to do zero self reflection). He just does what he wants.

This isn't a real headcanon of mine but I heavily support a FtM trans Kenma based solely on his calico cat mascot. He's based on a calico, guys, its right there!

Aromantic Kuroo. (+QPR KuroKen) I don't use this as much as I could, because it's a lot of emotional character work that I dont often want to bother with in unrelated stories, but AroAce Kuroo has become so near and dear to my heart. He wants so badly to spend his whole life monogamous with Kenma but every time he thinks about starting a romantic relationship with him he feels sick because he doesn't actually want to share space and kiss and have to sleep in the same bed all the time. I think it's sex-positive asexual but borderline romance-repulsed aromantic. He just wants to live his life, and he does see Kenma as his highest priority and life partner in the most true sense of the word "partner". He still gets unreasonably jealous if Kenma has any other love interests but thats because allonormativity threatens to take away his soulmate every day. I don't use this headcanon very often, but more and more I do think it fits his character. A really solitary, independent and self possessed person who simply cannot comprehend why anyone needs a lover to feel fulfilled. Kenma meanwhile absolutely would love a life partner that does not require him to leave the house for dates or do any kind of performative relationship shit. His twitch stream being like "oh my god kodzuken are you dating anyone???" And Kenma just replying with "not legally" is actually really fucking good.

Okay so I only did 5 characters but im lazy and dont wanna keep writing so imma click post now k thx bai

[apocalyp-tech-a]

Remember in Season 1, Episode 1 Aftermath, Tech says "I am merely stating a theoretical hypothesis based on factual data?" Well, that's what I did, I made a "logical conclusion." From Lama Su coming back when we thought he was dead to the infamous "domicile," it was all factual evidence that was meant to push us in a direction of hoping that Tech would return and that CX-2 could be the way he does it. I'm not stupid, and neither are you. There's an underlying reason that I love Tech not based on just his handsome looks. I don't claim to have an exceptional mind like him and I don't intend to convince anyone that CX-2 was Tech, but I do want to explain how it could be construed through the way that character was presented as well as the possibility of Tech's return in general, that he could have been and none of us were wrong or "losers" to think so.

45 70 Reasons and more well on the way, lol...

General reasons:

*Tech is never seen actually dying.

*Hemlock being untrustworthy source of death certificate.

*The return of many thought to be dead characters in past Star Wars from Darth Maul who was sliced in half to Lama Su - the door closed on him and we thought he was getting shot by troopers only to show up alive later and this happened in The Bad Batch itself.

*CX-2 is shown walking toward the 'light' after dropping off Omega, symbolically toward a future redemption. @astrovoidy

*Height change on starwars.com

*The word 'dead' danced around on official sites and by BB employees

*the similarities to Winter soldier @on-a-quest

*the cryptic tweets that showcased reborn characters like Gandalf

*The official poster of CX-2 shows him in 'good' light. @eriexplosion AND CX-2 is shown looking up and to the side the way the original CF99 members are positioned and facing in their poster as if CX-2 is also a CF99 member

*other people in professional settings like New Rock Stars on youtube thought the same exact thing as well as casual viewers

*the large focus on CX-2, over multiple episodes

*misleading title of last episode "The Cavalry Has Arrived"

*Tech being smart enough to find a solution

*If Season 2 could be compared to Empire Strikes Back, Tech was taken from us the way Han Solo was, but Han Solo was returned so surely Tech would be as well

*no one expected a main ensemble character permadeath

*the fight with Crosshair music had hints of "Plan 99" in it

*Tech’s whole big conversation with Romar was about culture and memory, and he helped Romar restoring a data repository. Between the implication that Tech would have lost his memories and Phee saying, “Tech’s brain was the databank, not mine,” you could easily see that as foreshadowing for Tech getting his memories back. @heyclickadee

*All the little one line reminders and goggles shots up through episode twelve only serve to make the audience want Tech back. They aren’t closure, they’re reminders of his absence. [Tech never being quite mourned.] @heyclickadee

*The goggles are lit, or look like they’re lit, in every scene they’re in except the last one, which sure makes all those earlier shots deliberate. @heyclickadee *CX-2 could have killed all of them at different moments, but chose not to (shooting pilot instead of Hunter for example)

Physical and character similarities:

*the shrimp posture

*the kick in the fight similar to droid kick in S1E1

*the similar hand to hand combat style

*the shooting accuracy- ipsium cave/ plan 99

*the elegant deliberate movement especially of hands and fingers

*the animated head and body when speaking

*the helmet – even has his hairline @jorolle

*the viewfinder similar to Tech's and utilized just as often

*the pouches(!!!)

*the limberness and agility

*the confident capability

*the crouching/getting on one knee - Tech is an infamous croucher!

*the deviant nature – ignoring orders

*the technology know how

*the flying – some say the turn on Teth was a Tech Turn

*the extraness of tool/weapon twirl

*armpad like Tech's datapad @wolveria

*CX-2's ship has similarities to the Marauder @wolveria

*Tech CC-9902 / CX-2 - both end in 2 @wolveria

*We are reminded this season that Tech was especially good at decryption. What do we see CX-2 doing on Phee’s ship? Yeah. @heyclickadee

*Season two went out of its way to establish that Tech has a high pain tolerance, is a good close range fighter (he won a life-or-death fight with a guy when he had that broken femur), quick processing speed, and is an excellent shot. All skills we see CX-2 exhibit. @heyclickadee

The 'British' accent, speech inflection, pronunciation. and vocabulary (this alone is enough to convince anyone...):

'You better get back HERE." - "I know the girl is HERE."

"The fifth IS Omega." - "The girl IS alive."

"Who are you?" - "Who are you?"

"Naveecomputah." - "Neveecomputah."

"DOMICILE." - "DOMICLE."

Cinematic framing similarities:

*the limping

*the coming out of the water @lilacjunimo

*hooking the rappel hook rappelling down was like dangling off the rail car

*the boulder moving

*helmet viewpoint from CX-2 in finale, only BB members ever had that

Conjectural situations of suspicion:

*the beef with Crosshair

*the constant surviving

*the pausing when choking Crosshair

*the pausing to look at Phee

*The implications that Crosshair seems to know something about CX-2 (he wants to get out of dodge when he knows CX-2 is coming), and the intense lingering guilt Crosshair feels—and which is never dealt with! It’s still there through the finale—implying he knows or suspects it’s Tech. @heyclickadee

*“Whatever they did to you, whatever you’ve done, you’re still one of us,” offered by Rex towards the CXs @heyclickadee

*Crosshair’s character arc this season being partly about realizing that anyone can change and that no one is really beyond saving, which would have continued going somewhere if he thought CX-2 was Tech and considered him beyond saving, but then changed his mind and realized he needed to try. Notice that he does not engage CX-2 in 11 like he did in 7, and that this comes after his revelation about giving people a chance in 9. @heyclickadee

*CX-2 is even more Tech like in 11 than he was in 6 and 7. This implies that he could be starting to wake up, and that almost killing Crosshair triggered that. He doesn’t kill anyone except one of his own guys on Pabu (or Phee) even though it would make his job much easier. He even has Hunter and Wrecker in his sights and moves his aim to not shoot them directly. @heyclickadee

*Crosshair has no way to know that the CX’d clones come out different and that their identities are erased unless it happened to someone we know. In fact, there’s not reason for the CX plot to exist unless that horrific thing happens to someone we know. @heyclickadee

*The first episode of the show starts out with Hunter covering for someone who supposedly died in a fall. In fact, there are direct parallels in the lines: “Where’s the Jedi?” “I stunned him when he jumped. He didn’t make it.” vs “Where’s Tech?” “Omega…Tech didn’t make it.” I’m not saying Hunter was covering for Tech; I am saying that is the only place in the script where we see those phrases matched up. @heyclickadee

*Tech being CX-2 would have fit in perfectly with each member of the batch experiencing a traumatic loss (and regaining) of agency that correlated directly to who and how they are as people. @heyclickadee

Foreshadowing lines:

*More machine than man, percentage wise at least.

*Better late than dead.

*See you around, Brown Eyes.

*Tech's not gone.

*The operative's gone rogue.

*Romar saying he's a survivor and Tech's look at him.

*Don't go running off with any pirates or smugglers. @heyclickadee

Abandoned storyline reasons:

*The romance with Phee, surely it wouldn't be abandoned!? 🙄😡

*CX-2's death being anticlimactic

*The finale seeming rushed and incomplete

*Actors saying there were script changes

*CX-2's accent in the finale was not only not like Tech's as it was in previous episodes, it wasn't even a clone accent (wtf was that) signaling a script change

@wolveria made a great analysis here with her Tech-Genda !

@heyclickadee gave a great analysis here and also great evidence, more in comments!

@vivaislenska has a list as well with some of these points!

@eriexplosion has a great analysis here!

Having said that, here are some reasons it may not have been him:

*Too many characters coming back from the dead.

*The way he says 'clones' in Infiltration was more reg accent.

*Tech's line in the cave to Omega which "was a big one to me” in retrospect: "I am aware that you miss him, but we have to adapt and move on."

As for the intentions of the writers to either have been forced to change the script, but can't admit it due to NDAs or if they truly meant for CX-2 to be Crosshair's foil which to me was unclear, especially with all of the evidence above, I don't know. At least they could have made CX-2 talk and move like a reg. Making him talk and walk like Tech was kind of cruel on top of a cruel we already experienced in Plan 99. I am not personally attacking the writers, I still love Season 1 and 2 and most of Season 3, but I wish I knew what happened behind the scenes with this and I know I'm not the only one. I think this is the last time I'll personally address Season 3 or the finale unless to support other commentators/creators and for my own fix-it and art and writing. And I look forward to seeing everyone else's works as well and hope no one gives up this beautiful Batch or fandom as I almost did. Canon seems done with him, he belongs to us now. 💜

And if anyone has anything I missed (I'm sure I'll think of more myself), feel free to comment or reblog with that addition or a link to your own post and/or I can edit the OP to include it and tag you. Also, don't feel like you can't make your own post about this subject! But I do hope this maybe helped anyone still dealing with the 'aftermath' like me, to know you're not alone, and you did not read too much into it.

(In retrospect, I can't believe they killed him though, lol. What the kriff were they thinking!?! #too handsome to die #too awesome to die)

[luckyjunehenry]

How did you come to terms with being you? I struggle with my identity being uncategorized or unlabeled because it seems to isolate me from communities I had grown familiar to being a part of— but I love the person I am and the things that make me my own little self. What moment helped you to realize it was okay to just be Jamie?

(Sent with so much love, a long time fan <3)

really really appreciate this question. for me, this was one of the few areas where getting kinda philosophical and theoretical about things helped me.

I believe that gender is socially constructed, and that my experience of my gender is primarily formed by social factors. when I was a little girl, I was surrounded by older butch lesbians in the neighborhood where I lived. there, being a girl made total sense to me, because there were no expectations keeping me from playing and building and dressing however I wanted to.

Moving to a more conservative town for middle school, being a girl did not make sense. there was no social precedent in my peers' life for a girl like me, which alienated me from the experience of being a girl. this was the first time I started questioning my gender.

transmasculinity connected me with other trans people in a way that felt so so so right. and then I started passing so well that other trans people wouldn't clock me. I never ever felt solidarity or kinship with cis men for various reasons. so this point in time was the most isolating gender experience (not to mention - actual physical isolation, 2020-2021)

I tried to live as a cis woman for a little while, and again, my experiences just didn't align with most cis women I met, and I failed at being read as a cis woman 99% of the time. at this point, I most closely aligned with trans women in terms of lived experience - but obviously, I did not label myself as a trans woman. so then it was like, well.. what am I then ???

my current social circle is full of people who truly see me as Jamie. I have cishet friends who I truly believe live very queer lives, I have friends who are trans and won't medically transition, I have friends who are cis girls who have felt similarly alienated from womanhood. these friends have seen me through countless changes. our understanding of our genders are very tied to one another. the women I love are the reasons I feel comfortable calling myself a woman, and my womanhood has influenced how my friends see themselves. I am forever shaped by these people and they are shaped by me, too.

Over the last year I've really found true peace with my ever-changing appearance and nebulous identity. I think being intentionally unpartnered really helped me with this, as well as meeting all sorts of trans people all over the country while on tour.

some cis people will never see me as a person, some trans people will never see me as trans, and I don't really want anything to do with anybody who thinks like that anyway.

(also, it's a lot easier to love and accept yourself when you have tens of thousands of people telling you you're doing a good job)

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

Prince Soma: possibly being the key that causes Ciel to have a conflict with Sebastian?

I don't know if im the first one to notice how Anime!Abberline and manga! Prince Soma have some very striking parallels when it comes to their relationship to O!Ciel, which made me realize a few things.

First of all, I do think that some concepts of season 1 in general do parallel to the manga. Here's an excellent analysis on the topic if you want to dive deeper on that area.

Alright, let's start with me drawing some parallels to make this analysis more digestable, and then explaning how this will theoretically give us a conflict between the demon butler and our petty child.

Basically, Abberline drawing the similarties with our earl due to a shared trauma/tragedy: They both lost their families, but one learned to heal from the event, and the other completely refuses to accept happiness. (guess who's who, lol)

Fundamentally, O!Ciel is creating a hypothetical comparassion: If he hadn't gone through his personal tragedy, then he would've been as naive and innocent as Soma.

Something to consider about this parallel: The narrative in both cases textually highlights the similarities between Ciel and Abberline/Soma.

O!Ciel saying he only needs pawns, and that he has no time to have real emotional connections with people.

O!Ciel saying he uses people as pawns and doesn't see Soma as a friend, he doesn't need him by his side.

Notes to take here:

In both of these instances, o!Ciel refueses to form real human connection.

Both of these convesations spark up due to confrontation about o!Ciel's true intentions and nature.

His face is turned on both scenes/pannels, making us question how genuine o!Ciel's words are.

"Keep your distance from me, or you'll get killed" - Ciel to Abberline, season 1 episode 20

o!Ciel explicitly stating why he kept Prince Soma at arms lenght. He didn't want him and Agni to get hurt/killed in result of their closeness to our earl.

Things to point out:

o!Ciel's entire reason to push people away is because he doesn't want them to get hurt, so his earlier refusal to cut ties with others is due to fear and hestiance to accept love.

Abberline got hurt because of his relationship with o!Ciel, likewise with Soma. Causing our earl to display emotional reactions in both cases, demostrating he does care for the people close to him.

While Abberline ended up dying due to his closeness to our earl, Soma did survive the attack in chapter 125, but a part of him died with Agni as shown in the image below:

Remember when o!Ciel said that he would've turned out like the prince if it weren't for the amount of abuse and grief he went through? Well, isn't it ironic that Soma is turning out exactly like o!Ciel after losing Agni: Turning his back to salvation, his heart longing for revenge after the injustice he was put through.

(I also want to point out, Yana had made a statement that Prince Soma was originally going to die instead of Agni, but changed her mind in respect for Agni's character.)

Now, lets run back to the title of this post:

"You do have a chance to move forward, to build a brand new future for yoursef. Don't ever forget that, promise, you won't." - Abberline, Black Butler season 1, episode 20

Before our dear investigator dies, he states that he wants o!Ciel to open up his world despite his desire for revenge.

How does this connect to Soma's resolve and his relationship to Ciel? Well...

Here, our prince boasts that he wants to become o!Ciel's "Agni." In other words, he wants to provide his friend with love and protection, creating a positive worldview for the earl, who continues to turn away from the light.

It's important to note that this was before Soma thought o!Ciel killed Agni! But of course, I feel like his initiaal intentions to help o!Ciel will come back when he finds out o!Ciel isnt the true killer. (also, Soma now has Agni's powers, so atleast physically, he already has his strenght that he will hopefully use to protect the ones around him.)

So, now what?

Anime!Abberline and Soma having a similar resolve for o!Ciel, as well as their relationship with him. (as if it isn't clear enough, Abberline died protecting o!Ciel, making the earl realize his own life has value).

Prince Soma has his back turned away from the light, and o!Ciel will witness this eventually. I think it's crystal clear that our earl wouldn't want the prince to make this decision, but wouldn't that make him doubt his own quest for revenge?

Circling back to Yana intending for Soma to die, there could be a chace for him to die while becoming o!Ciels "Agni", causing o!Ciel to realize how Soma died protecting him due to love and not bc of revenge, making him question everything about his own resolve??? Plus, if o!Ciel willingly gives his life now, then that would make Soma's sacrifice worthless.

There could be a slight chance, Prince Soma survives this whole ordeal, and completes his mission of protecting o!Ciel without dying. In this hypothetical, he would then decide to florish again and go back to india, which could give o!Ciel a similar relazation that maybe, his life is worth living, just like Soma's.

In the anime, Abberline's sacrifice causes our earl to truly question his contract with Sebastian, as well as his need for revenge.

This causes the demon to feel obvious anger towards his master. And throughout the following episodes, he desperately attempts to make the earl feel hopeless again. (he clearly doesn't want to lose the meal he has been working on for years).

In conclusion:

Theres plenty of textual evidence that Soma and the earl have lots in common, especially now that the prince lost someone and vows to get revenge.

o!Ciel and Soma's relationship with revenge as of now are in a similar stance, but Soma's initial idea of protecting o!Ciel and living for love instead of revenge will come in fruition soon enough.

What would be the point of having glaring obvious parallels, and not taking advantage of them to further create a long awaited conflict between the two main characters, additionally developing them?

Anyways, that's all I have to say folks! I hope you enjoyed my take and please, let me know your thoughts:)

[iamlostonthepathoflife]

propaganda i fell (and am still falling) for:

a rogue collection of things that have improved my life / big sister advice (?) that i cannot pass on because my brothers are smelly boys who won't LISTEN

satin pillowcases. (ALSO bringing my own pillowcase with me when i sleep over at friends n stuff ? i get acne if i breathe the wrong way, ik this is so extra™️ but SO WORTH IT ??? ) also extra pillowcases means you can change it every few days, such a win

buying books secondhand and giving them away: listen, in a different lifetime i have a whole home library to myself and super nice editions of everything, alas, i live abroad in a 4-person house share. The room is tiny, i need space to breathe. Found out that giving away books is sooo easy when i've thrifted them (also the process is so fun ??) so i bullied my friends into a book club of sorts, aka, whevener i go home i bring them a few books each which means i get to unhaul all the ones i've read AND it's emotionally easier bc ik the book is going to a new loving home AND then when they read it we can discuss the book togetherrrr. Also found that now when i'm thrifting books the selection process is influenced by 'which one of my friends would read this' which means i've gotten out of my reading comfort zone a lot more. Also nice to spend less / reduce my carbon footprint and support charities in the process. If i see a new book in a bookshop i tend to take a pic of it and add it to a digital tbr (more below).

keeping track of the books i've read (digitally): I use notion bc there was a handy template that allows you to turn this into a timeline but basically, i store my 'wanna read/tbr' on there. Super helpful to keep track of what i want to read / own (i usually just look at my bookshelf but i mean the books i still have back home) and have read across a specific time period. I use literally 3/4 tags (classics, modern fiction, non fiction, etc) n i don't write reviews bc ceebs (but i could!). I have a theoretical library everywhere with me!

calvin klein underwear. Let me tell you something LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. This predates the Mingyu obsession. I bought a pair of their tanga/g string in highschool (2015) and they only got a hole in them this week in the year of our lord 2025. As a strong VPL (Visible Panty Line) hater i'd highly recommend.

l'occitane sweet almond shower oil. (AGAIN, I'VE LOVED THIS SINCE WAY BEFORE THE MINGYU CAMPAIGN I SWEAR. I'm fr*nch you guys). Never bought it for me, would gift it to my mom for her bday and christmas (anything from that range, really). Ofc my friends saw me salivating at the Mingyu campaign and bought me a bottle for my bday ?? i've been rationing this bc it's spennyyyy but i love itttt).

spf50+: wear some every single day. used to hate sunscreen (again, acne prone) until i figured out double cleansing was needed to remove it AND i found some actual nice ones (european sunscreens sucked ass until v recently, been mostly using korean sunscreens and honestly >>>)

avoiding fragranced skincare : hate hate haaaate anything with fragrance that goes on my face. stings my eyes, irritates my skin, u know the drill.

using a menstrual cup: there are some downsides (can be annoying to sterilize / if you get surprised by your period and you don't have it with you it's tough) but this has CHANGED MY LIFE. Been using it for 7-8 years now and the amount of money (and plastic) i have saved by not buying tampons or pads regularly is insane, i haaaate how drying tampons are and how messy pads can be (don't get me started on the smell of oxidised blood ??). Also they hold SO. MUCH. LIQUID. Used to have to layer a pad and a heavy duty tampon to get me through the night (which was also bad regarding toxic shock syndrome), this is just too convenient.

finding a physical activity that's FUN: i spend an unhealthy amount of time dancing salsa every week. light cardio, hella steps, fun stuff, i feel like i'm learning something, the people are great. This has expanded my comfort zone sooo much. Obviously can't be my only form of exercise bc it's not really building muscle but it! still!counts! Also, great to trick my brain into doing other forms of exercise. Running ? Eh. Running so i can improve my dancing stamina ? YEA. Going to the gym ? oof. Lifting weights so i can prevent injuries and perform better ? HELL YEA. Cannot recommend dancing/ social dancing enough - especially as a tall person. Cannot express how much control i feel like i've gained over my body / i have better posture. Obvi i still feel hella insecure at times but it's been so helpful!

doing gel polish myself: gotta preface this by saying that a) DO YOUR RESEARCH bc trust me you do NOT want contact dermatitis b) it can be an investment. Got my nails done for about a year before i decided to buy the materials and give it a try. There is such a learning curve but i've genuinely been enjoying the process / it feels creative / sparks genuine joy every time i see my fingers (the magpie in my brain loooves the shiny stuff). Using a peel off base has been a game changer for the removal process/ to keep my nails healthier/ forces me to do them again before they look too overgrown. Will try making my own press-ons soon, i'm very excited by the design possibilities hehehe

packing cubes: i got cheap ones and even then, i cannot express how convenient they are when you have to live out of your suitcase for a month bc they keep things in order aaaaaah i hate having to refold stuff, they just look so NEAT.

to be continued

[jesterbells]

Tumblr New Word Dictionary

I love new words. So here's a list of recently created words and idioms I have learned through tumblr (not all of these terms were invented on tumblr but that's where I learned them--the citations specify whether the term was coined by a specific post, or cite a source for where I first heard the term even if that is not necessarily where the term originated):

blorbo: a fictional character you're a fan of. Coined by thelustiestargonianmaid.

"I'm so hungry I could get banned from facebook": coined by babyslime in response to a Wil Wheaton post

GORIMM: Gross Older Relation I Must Marry. Source: bethanydelleman

hlep: when a disabled person asks for a specific kind of help and "they do something that is not what you ask for but is what they think you should have asked for ... Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hlep." Source: giantkillerjack's therapist.

horse fantasy: something that is theoretically possible unicorn fantasy: something that is definitely (or almost definitely) impossible. Source: bemusedlybespectacled.

zomancy: soup divination. Source: cryptotheism.

UFOs: unfinished objects--"something that is unfinished but in hibernation," as distinct from WIPs. Source: knitting community and bylambd.

autoenshittification: turning cars into digital extraction machines to steal your data and money through digital infrastructure and microchips, and the endless repair nightmare of digital car systems and cybersecurity vulnerabilities. Source: mostlysignssomeportents

nude: "when your clothes are off." naked: "when you're clothes are off when you're up to something." nakey: "when you are an animal and your collar has been removed." Source.

sideways fan: following a fandom second-hand. Source: capricorn-0mnikorn.

spoken Garamond: "the over-emphasized voice people use to read poems." Source: Frances Klein's friend.

nongry/nungry: when you're starving but also don't want to eat any of the food in your kitchen. Coined by tathrin.

scrumbling: scrolling on tumblr. Coined by the mum of anti-terf-posts.

window shipping: "any shipping done without actually watching/reading the work in question." Coined by lurker-no-more.

friend John / a Friend John answer: "when someone asks a relatively reasonable question in context and the enquiree 1) speaks at length without answering the question, and 2) implies the enquirer has injured the enquiree by even asking such a thing how could you." Coined by sileana.

bitism: a new school of media criticism which asks the simple question: is the work committed to the bit? Coined by linecoveredinjellyfish

snors d'oeuvre: having a little nap on the sofa before taking onseself to bed for main sleep. Coined by SJKSalisbury (can't find the tumblr repost now).

socratic terror: "what every athenian felt when they went down to the agora in the 5th century and saw an old man with a beard approaching them." Coined by lesbianshepard.

introvirtuous: "when you're introverted but have taken on numerous leadership and outgoing roles in your life." "I'm here to help. But I'd rather not be." "Someone around here has to get things done. and unfortunately it's going to be me." Coined by soundslikerhetorical.

grundlous: "of or pertaining to grundle." Coined by IMLIZY.

concretes: specific aspects of a character that persist across interpretations. The essential, structural essence that makes a character recognizable as the same person. Rarely physical traits; subjective. Coined by Ladylark and kayanem.

skeletonin: "the happiness chemical released when you see a ghoul or perhaps a ghost." Coined by gwentrification.

broflakes: "the weak, fragile 'alpha' males who are so easily threatened by strong women." Source: rickladd (can't find the tumblr reblog atm).

the planet of hats: "the thing where a people only have one thing going for them, like 'everyone wears a silly hat.'" Source: Star Trek fandom & TV tropes, learned via homonculus-argument.

feelings yakuza: "those who turn their personal discomfort into a social evil and try to erase the target completely." Source: Japanese fandom via マロミチャン.

Ship of Thesaurus / Rogetism: "When a student copies an essay online instead of writing it and then painstakingly changes every word to a synonym until the text no longer makes any sense." Coined by trek-tracks and Chris Sadler respectively.

Flemming's law / vibe dysphoria: "the most toxic person you've ever met over-relates to woodland creatures on social media." Coined by Chris Flemming and canadianwheatpirates.

fight with a gorilla: "any secret or invisible struggle." Coined by punksandcannonballers.

squimbus from my polls: the poll version of blorbo except for obscure fan favorite characters. Coined by yardsards.

pebbling: "the act of sending your friends & family little videos and tweets and memes you find online, like how penguins bring back pebbles to their little penguin loved ones." Source: NurseKelsey (can't find the tumblr reblog atm).

serpentineabouts: roundabouts that aren't round. Coined by paulgadzikowski.

luft: air equivalent of wet. Coined by questbedhead.

getting the good bologna: "when you experience something of better quality and then you’re doomed to no longer be satisfied." Coined by the family of kelssiel.

hypofixation: "the kind of things that you've autisticly decided you Do Not Care About." Antonym of hyperfixation. Coined by animate-mush.

[makingspiritualityreal]

Hi,

I read your post on difficult Jyestha placements, the themes that you discussed I haven’t heard anyone else discuss yet I’ve always felt these themes in my own life (Rahu in Jyestha 6th, with its Lord in the 4th house in Libra).

I used to feel like I was going insane because both my mother and father spent a lot of my childhood and adulthood wounding my self esteem through all kinds of abuse. As I got older I realised that my father was extremely narcisstic and the idea of me ever being more successful than him in any capacity was a threat to him, so he found ways to sabotage me. A lot of it was psychological wounding and making me fear the outside world. I am on the receiving end of jealousy from my mother, my sister who I’ve loved and most females growing up. I have very little other than my own soul so I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve also always helped others with tasks in their life that were important to them, applications for jobs, dream internships, encouraging them to follow their inspirations.

The worst part is, you’re right, it’s a difficult placement, and I haven’t ended up like Indra, defeating his enemies. I’ve ended up as a fraction of who I used to be, and I am trying to piece my life together to even get the basics together let alone being successful in the dreams that I had when I was younger. I wanted to ask you, how did you understand that this is an experience in life with Jyestha placements? Because I have not come across any other astrologer who was able to understand this, is it through your work with clients? If so, could you share if the experience is life long or they were able to eventually become a success in whatever their definition of success was?

It’s interesting that you mention female figures particularly in one’s life, because Jyeshta’s talent is self defense against negative female forces, on both the physical and astral plane. The solution to this is having one’s own compass, and knowing right from wrong on an objective basis. If you’re harmful to women, you will pay for it, but if you’re fair, female forces will reward you with obedience and care after testing you. The neighboring Nakshatra of Mula shows similar themes to an extent.

As to how I came into this observation, it’s a unique mix of theoretical study and experience, I was brought up with a lot of Jyeshta family members, and have prominent Mula in my chart myself, and like I said these Nakshatras have similar themes. Don’t forget every chart is unique, so you’re gonna get results from different Jyeshtas at different times.

It seems to me like you’re still young, and so it would be unrealistic to expect certain results. It takes time to mature into a planet, Rahu specifically matures at 42. Also, victories in Jyeshta come after a certain fair ruthlessness is developed. Helping people who don’t deserve it and giving breaks to people who want to hurt you, even if they’re family, are not the kind of behaviors Jyeshta rewards. You need to learn to accept a certain kind of solitude, independence and clarity that comes from eliminating everything that is harmful to you. I understand it’s sad and painful and difficult, but it’s necessary if you want to progress and heal in any way in life. If you keep giving to the wrong people, you will just end up more and more depleted. The victory here really happens on the inside first, developing discipline in decisively cutting off unhealthy attachments.

You say you don’t know what’s going on, but you do. Jyeshta is sharp and quick to spot anyone trying to undermine them, could be paranoid on the negative end. You are aware that you don’t have family support. The best thing you can do is put yourself in the best situation available, away from anyone who could harm you, not waste your energy on people who feel jealous and won’t support you, and then do what you’re already doing, picking yourself up piece by piece. It’s unrealistic to expect yourself to figure everything out so soon, especially when you don’t have the advantage of a basic external support network. In fact, even people in healthier, working family environments are often stable, but stuck in dead end jobs, not really doing anything meaningful with their lives. Stay focused, be vigilant and loving towards yourself and you will eventually get to the right place.

[labyrinthofsphinx]

Okay, I know we all LOVE to see protective and acts-of-service Vox, but what about the other way? Are there moments where Alastor gets protective over his dear friend? Moments when Vox is uncomfortable and needs rescuing (and maybe reassurance?)

Okay, some...kinda spoilers(?), warnings for minor blood and threats of violence:

Sooo...yes, sorta of. This kinda showed up in another ask, but Al is really...not good at reading the room sometimes. He won't typically respond like Vox does because he's not as aware nor is he the overprotective type, particularly as it regards Vox. He's like that towards Rosie and Mimzy more often.

So far as Al has seen, Vox doesn't have insecurities because...again, he never sees him act like he's insecure. He's never had to 'rescue' or reassure him emotionally because Vox covers up his problems with bulletproof glass. Also, Al is terrible with emotions, and even worse with other people's. So, like, theoretically, if the bar situation happened to Vox rather than Al, Al wouldn't be jumping in to help out. If anything he'd be more annoyed that the conversation was interrupted...or roll his eyes when a girl flirts with Vox because (in Al's head) Vox only likes men. (He's bi, but Al has never seen him seriously flirt with or act forward with anyone while he's there. He doesn't realize it's because he's there.)

It kinda gives him the wrong impression that nothing ever gets to Vox, but that's kinda the image Vox wants everyone to have sooo...

Physical protectiveness is a different...thing. In his head, Vox is a big guy and he should therefore be able to take care of himself (again, very much a product of the time). He's much more likely to respond after the fact, then before. For example:

Warning for some blood and threats of violence.

In general, Vox prioritizes making sure Al is emotionally and physically safe, if an immediate threat doesn't exist. Al prioritizes retribution because, again in his head, that will make things better. Vox would get a bandage on Al and check to make sure it wasn't going to get infected, then deal with the guy. Al is going to deal with the guy, and assume Vox has the small stuff handled.

Now, this will change if Vox gets hurt on his behalf or if he ever gets seriously injured. Just like we haven't seen Vox act insecure before, we've never seen Al completely freaking lose it yet...and to be honest, I don't think Al has ever lost it like he would if that were to happen. It would certainly change how he views...just about everything. You don't always know how much you care about something until you almost lose it, ya know?

He doesn't care less, just differently, and his mind jumps to different places first than Vox.

Anyways, thanks for the ask!

[redmandm]

Ngl I'd take a convoluted witness protection sub plot over Foggy actually being dead because like wdym? Wdym Matt heard his best friend's heart beat slowly give out? One of the most familiar heartbeats to Matt in the world, mind you. One he probably knows better than his own? Yeah I'll kill mys-

ANYWAYS, here's how I think gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day (again).

So we know Shield. Powerful and technologically advanced government agency. And we know Foggy, who's supposed last conversation was about a client he was helping, explicitly without telling Matt or Karen about it. So with these two previously established, we can conclude that Shield could theoretically bring Foggy back and put him in witness protection.

But Red, you say, Matt heard Foggy's heart give out. Like he heard it stop! To that I say, you think Shield wouldn't have sat Foggy down and been like: so how realistic do we have to make this for you, and Foggy would be like: I actually think both of them would have to physically feel I'm dead before really believing it, so I want you guys to pull out all the stops. Shield says: aight bet.

But Red, you say again, who in their right mind would send Bullseye after Foggy? Surely no Shield agent is that dumb! And to THAT I say, never have that much faith in a government official, and Bullseye wasn't known as Bullseye YET.

You see, in order to make Foggy's death believable, you gotta make sure the killer is justifiably out to get him. Giving Foggy a high stakes client that he's been hiding from Matt and Karen allows for a little leeway. I'd raise you further to believe that Shield actually did hire Bullseye to take the shot, he just tweaked out and killed those randos for the love of the game (classic Bullseye)

Now I know, the faking death thing gets a little iffy when you have a guy who can not only hear heart beats, but can recognize people by the heartbeats themselves. However, this is the same universe where a teenager gets bit by a radioactive spider and instead of dying from radiation poisoning, instead gets powers and becomes a superhero. Also the same universe where magic exists alongside nanotechnology and holographs.

So y'know. I'll be holding out a sliver of hope for Foggy not being perma dead until the end of the show. Sorry if this was incomprehensible but thanks for reading, if you did. Good luck tonight for my fellow daredevil: born again watchers.

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

Dear Gallifreyan Institute for Learning's social media manager,

you're a genius! We humans do overcome difficult situations by increasing our numbers or seeking company! I was looking at the whole thing wrong, it's not a matter of quality, but of quantity!

I'll just use the clone machine that my companion recently nicked. How many humans does it take to overcome (affectionately) a Timelord?

- humanon

How many humans does it take to overcome a Time Lord?

Ah, the brilliant simplicity of human ingenuity! Quantity over quality, you say? A most fascinating approach.

🧠 Intellect vs. Intellect: Time Lords possess centuries of knowledge and experience. To match their mental prowess, you might need a small library of scholars. Let's say 200 of the best human philosophers, scientists, and historians should do the trick.

💪 Stamina and Resilience: A Time Lord can endure quite a bit. To balance their physical and mental abilities, you'll need a team of athletes, endurance runners, and perhaps a few yogis. Let's go with another 50 minimum.

👯‍♂️ Social Interaction and Companionship: To keep them socially engaged, you'll need a diverse group of people. Let's add 20 sociable humans to the mix.

So, if we add this all up, you might need around 270 humans to effectively "overcome" a Time Lord.

However, there's also:

4.❤️ Affectionate Overcoming: To truly overcome a Time Lord with love and companionship, you wouldn't need vast numbers. Just the one will do, as long as it's the right one.

However, before you start up that cloning machine, consider the reality of creating a human clone army. Do you really, really want that? 😟

Related:

💬|👁️👽How do Time Lords see humans?: How Time Lords process humans on a sensory level.

💬|✨⚡Could a Time Lord heal a human with their own regeneration energy?: How Time Lords can use their lindos to heal other people.

🤔|🧑👽What happens when a human spends a lot of time with a Time Lord?

Hope that helped! 😃

Any orange text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →📢Announcements |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts → Features: ⭐Guest Posts | 🍜Chomp Chomp with Myishu →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

[rizzoreads88]

I know you love theories so help me out!

If the cauldron is corrupt like we learned in HOFAS and Elriel are mates, wouldn't that call into question every other mated couple? Feyre and Rhys? Nesta and Cassian? Vivienne and Kallias? It's the one plot hole for the elriel ship I can't get behind!!! UGH I WANT THEM SO BAD! Have you made a tiktok on this yes?

Hi Anon! Thanks for the ask. This is going to be a LONG response….Yes if the cauldron was corrupted it would mean all cauldron mated pairs would need to be questioned. I have done a few Tiktoks on this but I think there is a few things to look at….

✨Did the cauldron decide all these mated couples?In Acowar Rhysand says multiple sources can make mate bonds.✨

“What decides it? Who decides it?” Rhys straightened his lapels before plucking an invisible piece of lint from them. “Fate, the Mother, the Cauldron’s swirling eddies …”

So theoretically different mate pairs could have different types of mate bonds. What if the mother is a true soul bond? We see pairs like Feysand, Nessian & Kallias and Vivianne are also love matches. They act like typical mates. Even before their bond snapped they all had mate behavior.We know Cassian had a feeling Nesta was his mate before she was turned. Rhysand had visions of Feyre before she was turned as well. Lucien doesn’t know Elain is his mate until after she comes out of the cauldron. Granted that was also the first day they met so it could just be coincidence as well but they are the only mated pair ever questioned about being wrong for each other. They are the only mated pair people question the cauldron over.

We know the asteri/daglan look at every species beneath them as food. So what if the cauldron bond is purely based off of pairing people who can have the strongest offspring? This would create stronger “food” for the asteri. We know when Elain went into the cauldron Azriel was also shot w a bloodbane arrow. Which nullifies/dampens mate bonds while a person is infected in it. In Acowar when Feyre is infected with faebane(faebane=bloodbane) Rhysand cannot feel the mate bond.

“I wondered if Rhys was looking for me. If he’d felt the silence. I should have gotten a message out. Told him I was going and how to find me. The faebane—that was why the bond had sounded so muffled.”

“No matter that the bond between Rhys and me … I couldn’t so much as feel it. A numbness had spread through me. I needed to get out—now.”

“As if he’d heard it down the bond, Rhys finally murmured, “When the bond went dark, I thought …” Fear—genuine terror shadowed his eyes,”

So what if the cauldron chose Lucien as Elains mate then because he was strongest at that moment?

✨Is it possible Elain has two mates?✨

What if Azriel is Elains Mother Mate and Lucien is her cauldron mate? Azriel has shown more mate behavior towards Elain then Lucien Has. (Him lending her truth teller but no one else, Him willing to die to save her from hyberns camp, Him bleeding out and injured and carrying her through the camp not willing to get looked at until he knows she’s ok, him figuring out she’s a seer when no one else could, his shadows wanting to physically attack Nesta for insulting Elain, Him getting angry when remember hyberns kidnapping in Acosf, His bonus chapter ect) Madja also points out in Acowar a mate would know what’s amiss and Lucien couldn’t figure out what was wrong with Elain but Azriel did and It helped her get better. In Acosf it’s pointed out how Lucien is fine living away from Elain and that’s not typical for mates. SJM has also said it is possible for someone to have two mates.

✨Lucien and Elain don’t act like typical mates✨

When Elain was taken back to the Night court in Acomaf Lucien doesn try to go after her for months. Now keep in mind at this point Lucien thought the she was kidnapped to the Night Court & that they were their enemy and did awful things to woman. He doesn’t try to go after Elain himself for months but asks Tamlin to go get her. In Acowar when Jurian is making jokes about Illyrians r*ping Elain again Lucien says nothing. It’s Tamlin who says something to Jurian. In Acomaf when everything is going on at Hybern and the sisters are about to be thrown in Its Tamlin who first tries to attack the king to stop him from throwing the sisters in. Then when Tamlin is trying to stop this Lucien then acts. If Lucien knew Elain was his mate before the cauldron he should have had a reactions as soon as Elain was brought in tied up.Logically Even though he didn’t know she was his mate , mate instincts should have kicked In subconsciously. The way we see Kallias’s did trying to protect Viviane before there mate bond snapped. The way Cassian tried crawling towards Nesta before she got thrown in. The way Rhysand was was screaming when amarantha attacked feyre before he knew they were mates. Then in Acosf he is fine living away from his mate. Elain is fine with him living elsewhere. Another big difference is Lucien and Elain find out they are mates and started talking yet Elain later on starts to like Azriel. There is a lot of hints Lucien is starting to feel something for Vassa too. With every other mated pair once they meet even if they didn’t end up together right away they didn’t start having feelings for or start anything w anyone else. We see after Feyre spent time with Rhysand UTM things start to fall apart between her and Tamlin. After Nesta and Cassian meet they don’t date or have feelings for anyone else. (Yes in the beginning of Acosf nesta was sleeping with other men but she didn’t have feelings for them she was using them as a coping mechanism.)Once Aelin Met Rowan her and Chaol were over for good. Once Bryce met Hunt there was no one else. All other mated pairs also have chemistry. Even when they had enemies to lovers things going on and seemingly couldn’t stand each other there was always attraction and tension. There is none of that with Elain and Lucien. & lastly we know mates make each other better. Elain and Lucien make each other worse. In Acosf it is said Elain shrinks in on herself and loses her newfound boldness around Lucien. She actually reverts around him. Lucien is sad around Elain and can’t stand to be in the same room as her. They are both stilted and uncomfortable around each other.

✨It’s also interesting in Acowar that when Feyre is questioning E/ucien we are introduced to the fact that not all mate bonds are love matches and that the bond can be rejected.✨

✨If Azriel was Elains mate wouldn’t he know by now?✨

Would he though? So far in the books we haven’t met anyone who had multiple mates? Theoretically what if he is feeling something with a mate bond for elain but he doesn’t know it’s actually a mate bond he’s feeling because she already has a mate and doesn’t think it’s a possibility? You ever wonder why he has a physical reaction to E/uciens mating bond? We have never seen this before….

……

To me it’s very telling that in Azriels bonus chapter he directly questions the cauldron over Elain and Lucien and then The very next book we find out the cauldron was in fact corrupted so he was right to question it. We also find this out in a crossover he is heavily involved in 👀

Now am I saying I 100% think Azriel and Elain are mates too? No. Right now in the books Elain and Lucien are mates. But am I ruling out the possibility of all this? No im not doing that either. There are many ways this could play out. I also think there is a possibility E\uciens mate bond is a fake bond. The way Rowan and Lyrias was. I would personally love for Elain and Lucien to both reject their bond and choose love over the mating bond. Elain with Azriel & Lucien with Vassa. I think that would give us two seperate epic romances.

I can’t deny though that something is off with Lucien and Elains mate bond. I also can’t deny that Azriel does act like a mate more then Lucien. I think SJM left herself ALOT of options and possibilities. I think regardless of which way SJM takes Elains story her book will really deep dive mate bonds and destiny vs choice.

[hoboblaidd]

On a less existential/theoretical physics note, knowing nothing is set in stone, once Solas finally accepts he has sired a child (however long that takes), how does he handle it? Obvs he’s dad of the year every year forever but does even the Best Dad in Thedas Forever get nervous sometimes?

I think Solas is very grateful he’s not there for the early years. Surprisingly I don’t mean that in a funny way. 

From a very personal standpoint, he’s working through the fallout of the atonement ending and Mythal. He’s still got to learn to process things, but it helps to have someone on the outside - the person who caused the things you need to process - admit her role in his problems. Mythal recontextualized their relationship into what he always knew it was but couldn’t accept. She said it out loud, instead of her usual gaslighting narrative, and though she didn’t apologize, he at least needed to hear the admission.

I mention Mythal because she’s the root of why he’d be hesitant and yeah, nervous, to actually be part of Nanna Jr’s life. He has the wherewithal to understand generational trauma, and he’s almost at a point where he can maybe kinda sorta admit that he might have some unresolved trauma that isn’t his fault.

It’s not something he wants to put on a child. He’s not something he wants to put on a child. He wants the best for her, and he doesn’t see how that can include him with all the baggage and unique personality he brings. 

In the bigger picture, it feels like he damned this child to a post-apocalyptic existence in a culture that hates and oppresses elves and spirits. This child is being born into a broken world, a world he hates, and a world that he is now physically bound to.

The positive is that this would necessarily motivate him to work with the world he has, rather than the world he wants. But he would want the best for her, and this will never be it. He’s never going to love a world with the Veil in place. He’ll just have to focus on the people he loves in it.

And then real quick, I also think it’s something he never considered or wanted before, so he’s got to grapple with that too. 

[thebestusernamepossible]

Thoughts combining two of three of my biggest interests rn

Isat x Gravity falls (note I’m role swapping, but if the roles had romance between them please note that it’s platonic now. Like the people in the Isa and Sif roles aren’t being shipped. Likewise, if I put someone in the gravity falls roles and they are being shipped I don’t ship those GF characters necessarily.)

Anyway, GF characters in isat roles

Siffrin -> Mabel. Her whole thing is that she doesn’t want to lose the people she loves and she tries to hold onto them, accidentally causing the apocalypse. Sounds VERY similar to Sif’s whole deal tbh. Mabel is also someone who acts as the ‘funny jokes person’ in her group, similarly to Siffrin, and controversy i’d say it’s a bit of a protective layer for both of them. Also the way Siffrin’s loops works and how he almost seems to crave them near the end and how Mabel was in the bubble can be parallels. Do you see the vision???

Odile-> Dipper. OK HEAR ME OUT!!! I know you’re going ‘no Ford would be Odile!!!’ WRONG! First of all, no Dipper is scrappy in a way Odile is and Ford isn’t (Ford is badass and kinda unhinged but he’s not ‘scrappy’ even when going insane). Also Dipper is generally more pessimistic and less gullible than Ford. Dipper and Odile are both people with a thirst for knowledge who don’t like not knowing things. Both these characters have a clear ambition, but are similarly grounded in how much they CARE. Also Ford could never pull off the sus quest, but I think Dipper could 100%. Also also Dipper and Odile are doing the same type of shenanigans to me (-awkward teen boy things).

Isabeau-> Stan. Hmmmmmmmmm…. Changing everything about yourself until the old you is dead because you hate yourself? Being too much of a coward to communicate with the people you love despite them meaning everything to you? Refusing to acknowledge how smart you are and acting dumb (well ok this one is a stretch because Stan actually thinks he’s stupid, but he TAUGHT HIMSLEF TO REBUILD THE PORTAL???? FORD needed BILLS help for that! Ofc Stan had some of Fords notes, but like…. He taught himslef complex physics to PUNCH A HOLE IN REALITY. I think it applies.)? Yeah Isa and Stan are weirdly good parallels.

Mirabelle-> Ford. I’m mostly relating him to Mira becaus Sif the way he felt like he was solely responsible for killing Bill weighed on him. This isn’t the most 1-1, but Mira is someone who is different from her peers. She follows a belief of change while being the most aroace autistic invidual ever who wants to stay the same execpt she gets to be a scholar and learn everything. OK FORD. Also I think if the Change God pulled a Bill Cipher on her she would also become a Sci-Fi hero and go try to fucking kill it, Ty <3

Bonnie-> Pacifica? Sorry the pines family is four members and none of them except maybe Mabel fit into the Bonnie slot, and Maybel is better as Sif to me. They could theoretically be Soos or Wendy who sometimes get added but none of them give Bonnue vibes and also if you have one you need the other.

Loop-> I so BADLY want to say Dippy Fresh…. so I will. Loop is Dippy fresh, fuck you. (Created from a wish of an alternate Mabel wishing that somewhere she had company while going isane? For a Dipper that understood the Loops? Idk.) OR MAYBE!!!! Anti-Mabel????? Alternatively she’s ‘Shooting Star’ (Mabel in a loop situation)

King-> Bill. Do I need to explain this? Pathetic horrible guys who have sympathetic backstories but are sopping wet assholes

Change-> axolotl

Euphie- J the Unswerving (Oracle)