#and i like the idea of him being some kind of mob boss. based on the shadowmen and all. please tony fox do this for me

[worldend]

man i hope whoever tenna is he has a tv head. will be very disappointed if he isnt and is just some guy instead because thats how ive been envisioning his appearence since forever.

[candyskiez]

I like hearing ppl infodump n u seem like a cool bean. would u be willing to talk abt shou from mp100(?) a bit with just a lil context added in for someone who only has a passing familiarity with the show. side note: plural mob be based

SLAMS DOWN ON TABLE. Before I get into this I want to say this is not a Serizawa hate post. Because I am reading what I wrote and it sounds like it at points. It is not. I was writing what I think Shou feels about him. I love Serizawa and I love them being friends, this is me talking about Shou having complicated feelings about his trauma. Okay? Okay.

Okay okay so. Shou is the son of a guy who tried to take over the world, and his entire life was spent trying to stop him. And then someone did. Someone stopped Claw. His dad got locked up. And Shous whole life had been built around trying to stop him, he had zero time for anything else other than occasionally visiting his mom (who left when he was a kid. We don't know what happened. We don't know if she tried to take Shou with or not. All we know is that Shou kept her presence hidden from his dad. We don't know how Shou feels about his mom or if he lives with her after his dad gets locked up. We know he had adults who were also rebelling in claw (the organization his dad ran), and he seemed to trust them a lot. I like to imagine they're a weird family and like. I imagine there's some Shit there. I like to imagine at least one of them was kinda giving up on everything, not really caring one way or another about what happened to everyone because they're just. Done. But then this wide eyed idealist of a kid comes by and he wants to stop his dad, holy shit the boss has a kid, and the kid is taking all this on himself. Maybe they didn't think they could fix anything but they had to save this kid. Did they believe Toichiro could be stopped at all? What were they like? We don't know much about them. How many of them were just in it to protect the kid? In hopes that maybe that idealistic, weird little boy that stumbled over to them would come out of this still a good person? God. I'm sorry I'm emo about found family. Don't mind me.

And I'm just. Okay. Okay. I think so much about how we get to know what other claw members are up to after everything, but...not Shou. Besides in fan books and stage plays, we uh. We got very little. And that makes him very interesting to analyze.

I just. Always think about how Serizawa stopped Shou from hurting Toichiro and how Serizawa got a happier life. Does Shou ever resent Serizawa? I think so much about their potential claw dynamic. Maybe he was one of the few who was kind to him, but was so disgustingly *loyal* to his dad it made him feel sick to look at. Serizawa would bring him snacks if he looked upset but would always respond to any criticisms of his father with the same unwavering Faith in him. Serizawa would comfort him after he lost a training session, Serizawa shielded the man who hurt him the most. Serizawa was a victim, Serizawa turned a blind eye to him. He needed to save Serizawa, and Serizawa never saved him. Did he feel responsible for Serizawa?

I think he felt like it was his responsibility as Toichiro's son to be the one to stop him. He needed to save everyone. He needed to make things right. He wanted his dad to go back to being who he was before things got really bad. I feel like. At first, Toichiro was an okay dad. And that's why it hurt so bad when everything went to shit and he started being so fucking horrible. Because Shou knew he was fully fucking capable of not sucking and he CHOSE to treat them like this anyway. He couldn't recognize him. He was a stranger with his dad's face and he had no idea what he did. Did he ever think if he could just fix Toichiro his mom would come back? Everything would go back to normal if he could just make Toichiro be a good person again? How long did that thought last?

I just. I always think about how aimless Shou strikes me as being the few times we see him in season three. He doesn't know what to do now. He had this whole purpose and plan. And then it didn't work. He didn't stop his dad. Mob did. His dad's alive. His dad changed his mind, but he's arrested. His mom and dad aren't together. Everything feels like it's tied up in a neat little bow for everyone except for Shou.

Of course we know that's not the case, but Shou doesn't know. Shou doesn't know that Serizawa was fucking panicked about disobeying Reigen even when their lives depended on it, Shou doesn't know that Mob's haunted by that battle. So from his eyes, it's very likely that he thinks he's the only one who hasn't moved on.

He goes from being always so dramatic sounding in all his lines in s1 and 2 to in season three just sounding...so much less? I don't know how to describe it. He sounds so much less...well. Everything was over for him, y'know? He built his whole life around carefully avoiding his dad and saving everyone and being the hero and then. Everything's done, and he didn't have a plan for what he'd do after. It all seemed like the end of Everything, and that'd be it! Nothing after that. But it's all over and he still has to live. Now what? Now what does he do?

How is Serizawa a functioning adult with a JOB now? Minegeshi joined when they were a teenager, how are they just...okay now? How did everyone, EVERYONE else get to move on, but Shou couldn't? Everyone else got their nice little ending, and Shou has nowhere to go. Does he tell his mom everything? That his dad tried to kill him but suddenly decided fine okay murder is wrong now, not soon enough to never have done that to him? Does he ask if he can stay with her? Will his lackeys want anything to do with him? Will Ritsu Everything's done and nothing's over, not for Shou, but everyone just fucking moved on. Everyone seems to be a better person than him now. Everyone seems to be fine in a way Shou just isn't.

Not to get back on my Shou and Serizawa bullshit but. Do you ever think about Shou seeing him again. And having no fucking clue what to think. Serizawa is just ...fine now. Suddenly he's no longer the guy who trailed after his dad and did horrible things for his dad without a THOUGHT. Suddenly he's smart and responsible now. Suddenly he's soooo good now. Where was all that when he needed it? Where was this functional, kind guy when he was TWELVE and trying to stop fucking terrorists. Where was this guy he would've done ANYTHING to have on his side when he was trying to save everyone from the man who raised him. Where was he. Why did he change now. Why had EVERYONE changed now. Why was Minegeshi trying for Mob, not Shou. Why was Serizawa trying for Mob, not Shou. Why was Toichiro trying for Mob, not Shou. Why didn't he MATTER. Why had NO ONE cared that he was in hell, that he wanted things to be okay. What's that one line. "If [Serizawa/Toichiro] has truly changed, it means he was ALWAYS capable of change. It means that I just wasn't worth changing for." And like. Objectively that's not what happened, objectively there were other factors and Serizawa and Toichiro are on very different levels, but Shou is like. Barely thirteen. He's BARELY thirteen. He is a child and all he's gonna see is that nobody cared when he needed them to. And now he's lost and has no idea what to do and everyone's just fine. Like he didn't almost die. Like his dad didn't try to kill him. Like he wasn't in hell for twelve goddamn years. Like he hadn't tried to save everyone. He's thirteen. He's not handling this well.

I feel like he just. Has no clue how to be normal. He doesn't know who he is now. He doesn't know what to do. His whole life orbited around stopping his dad and now his dad is different and locked up and he can't see him all the time, and things were so much worse back then so why does everything feel worse now. He doesn't know who he is now. He doesn't know what he wants now. I think so much about he says hes never using his powers again. Is he just trying SO hard to be normal. That's what he decided he wants now. He wants to be a normal kid who has friends and that's the only way to do it. He didn't have a Reigen in his life who'd tell him like he told Mob that powers are just another attribute. Maybe one day he'll talk to his lackeys, and maybe they'll hold him and tell him that that's his choice but that his powers aren't a curse or a weapon, they're just a *trait.* Or maybe he won't. I don't know. It's just so fucking. God. Shou, man. Shou.

Maybe one day he comes to spirits and such for Ritsu and sees Serizawa. Maybe they fight. Maybe they don't. Maybe they'll talk. It's just. God. Shou has so many loose ends in his life. Is he just trying to leave claw behind by never using his powers again, like he might think everyone else did? He went from "I need to save the world" to "I need to be a normal person." Did he shave his hair to look normal or did he shave it after he had a long talk with a friend that made him reevaluate things. What happened to him. If he has the spirits and such crew still, maybe he'll end up realizing that his powers are just another part of him. Maybe he'll realize they're not a curse or another thing his dad shoved on him. God. Aughhh. Sorry for being ill about Shou and possibly ooc about him but. Aughh.

Once again this is not an anti Serizawa post. I love Serizawa. Shou however probably has some Issues and I like to address them and try to give him more closure. Because I love him. Again, sorry if this is ooc, I'm still trying to get a grasp on him. If anyone who has a better grasp on him wants to add anything PLEASE let me know. I do not fully understand this guy yet but I would love to try to

[lacrimosathedark]

Heyyyyy anyone wanna help me think through a Radioapple swap AU?

I had the idea of a character swap with Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. Some of them are easy to place, but others are really difficult.

Like, the premise is Alastor as Blitzø and Lucifer as Stolas, which leads to Niffty and Husk working at IMP and Charlie as Octavia and Lilith as Stella. After that, things get twisty.

Pentious works as Wally Wackford I think, Paimon could be Sera maybe?

Like, who should be the third at IMP? Should it be Angel to keep the healthy relationship theme of Millie and Moxxie along with Moxxie's mob background? Should it be Vaggie, so she can find Charlie in a "Seeing Stars" type adventure, given Octavia as of yet has no other friends? Should it be Mimzy or Rosie as Alastor's best friend?

Who should be Fizz and Verosika? Mostly I think Mimzy or Vox, but there's issues with who Mammon and Asmodeus are. Vox fits Fizz as the old friend who was cut off, as well as being an electronics-based performer type. But Mimzy is also a performer and actually marked by Mammon. Both work for Verosika, but that kinda leads me to where is Velvette here, and who is Vortex? I was loosely thinking Vortex as Baxter to have Niffty crush on him like Loona, but Vortex is directly connected to Verosika and Beelzebub, and who would be Bee?

Should Angel be Fizz given the parallels between him with Val and Fizz with Mammon? But who would be Asmodeus then? Or should Val be the Chazwick Thurman (because that's kind of hilarious)?

Should Striker be Adam or Lute? Should Andrealphus be Adam with how weird they both are and closeness to Stella/Lilith? Who else could Andrealphus be?

My brain is tied in knots if someone could help me straighten them out that'd be great.

EDIT: Yall does liking it mean you like the idea or you wanna help cuz I'm dizzy aaaaaaaaa

[lumilasi]

I was supposed to work on some pride month themed pieces, instead I'm out here creating a bisexual vampire, even tho I promised myself I wouldn't make more characters anytime soon.....

(random note: I don't typically make vampire characters as I find them over-utilized in fiction somewhat, but for Cornel it just felt like the ONLY thing that truly fit...)

TBF, he has an important role in the story that fills in lot of plot points. Also I meant him to be indigo themed but he ended up purple instead. *shakes fist at porple* I did have ideas for other outfits, but I kind of ran out of motivation for now and decided to just post this already; I can always draw him in those other ones later.

Anyway, more info of Cornel below(incomplete):

Name: Cornel Sala (His full name is Cornelius, but he prefers the shorter version, because his full name just reminds him of getting constantly yelled at or belittled by his parents)

Age: Unknown, he appears to be in his mid thirties physically, but has existed for at least 100 years.

Height: 189 cm

A Natural born vampire currently hiding in the human world & working for a mob family

CURSED VS ETHER VAMPIRES

There are 2 types of these bloodsuckers in this story; the more classic, humans-infected-and-turned-into-undead-bloodsuckers, and natural born ones like Cornel. Natural-Born originate from Ether and are generally stronger and also immune to most common vampire fighting techniques, given they aren't really the same being even if they share similarities. No waving a holy cross or garlic to their face will work, though they are weak to light based magic, provided it is powerful enough. Cursed Ones come from a curse long ago, placed onto some humans that turned them into bloodthirsty monsters. Mostly they are created by fellow cursed, but sometimes a human can be turned by a Natural born, which then makes them a human-vampire hybrid instead of an undead creature. It is theorized that the Original Curse was inspired by Ether vampires still, just with their common ailments and weaknesses (Sun & silver allergy, tendency to be overtly polite, aversion to garlic dishes (either due to, again, allergy or just not enjoying the taste due to kind of a "cilantro" gene many of them have about garlic) turned up to eleven

Role: One of the antagonists for the Sterling family, often behind whatever chaos they are trying to solve.

Love interest: He has somewhat of a physical relationship with his boss Camilla, though its purely casual, neither she or him take it very seriously. There's also sexual tension between the long-lived Barone family guardian Soul eater Samar and him....

Comrades:  Vincent DeVos (A plaque demon) Samar (A Seemingly ancient Soul Eater, who turns out to be the brother of the Soul Eater King/Deity) His boss Camilla Barone (Human mobster)

Rival: Alexander Sterling, due to their previous run-in and roles as sort of protectors for their respective bosses.

Powers:

Flight: He can turn into a bunch of bats to travel, or use shadows for it thanks to his occultism skills

Physical strength: He is naturally far stronger than any human could dream of being, able to rip them apart with his bare hands. (Among the Ether citizens though, his kin are considered average or below average in raw physical strength)

Blood magic: He can utilize his own blood to form weapons or shields, and ofc infect others with it, though unlike "cursed" ones his by default doesn't turn people, just poisons them.

Occultism: He can basically summon forth dead souls to inhabit objects and things to create an army to command, or even force a possession into someone. He can also bring people back from the brink of death, but the timing for that needs to be precise.

Immortality: While not a natural trait, Cornel has used an ancient rune spell onto himself that he discovered, where he basically cannot be killed for good unless one manages to undo this spell/his soul is devoured successfully by a soul eater (hard to do, due to his occultism magic he tends to "go down" very poorly). He always reforms eventually even if his body is entirely destroyed.

Charm: He has the natural vampire charm which he can utilize for feeding or getting people to generally do what he wants.

Turning: Cornel can turn others into vampires too, but it requires a special casting spell alongside the bite, AND consent. You can't forcibly turn anyone into half-blood Ether vampire.

Weaknesses:

His kin are naturally weaker against light based magic (nothing to do with holiness, just light as an elemental energy type) though how powerful this said magic needs to be depends on the individual vampire. (Example: Diojas' biological mother is a genuine dangerous threat to him, but someone like Hayden Faylune who is more present in the story, not so much)

Cornel has some of the common ailments to his kin that are also associated with the Cursed ones, though for entirely different reasons; he's not weak to sunlight, just allergic to it.

Alongside silver allergies, It is common for Ether vampires to have sunlight allergy in varying levels of severity. In his case it is a medium level case, where he'll develop rashes and nausea after thirty minutes of exposed direct sunlight, but can counter it by just covering up, and cloudy days he can be outside during daytime mostly without problems. (Worst cases absolutely can't tolerate it at all and come out only at night, and even then may have to avoid moonlight as it is reflected sunlight)

His occultism spirit tricks can naturally be countered by exorcism abilities.

Personality:

Cornel is a very calm and collected man with a somewhat clinical way of thinking, having been a doctor in the past. He has a scientist's curiosity, with somewhat lacking moral compass, though he still has some principles left; he doesn't feed from minors or pregnant women, and tends to refuse blood offers from those with mental illnesses like depression. (Now he if he doesn't know and finds out later, he tends to shrug it off though)

He is quite sadistic and enjoys toying with his targets, often terrorizing them half to death before actually killing them (he works as a personal assassin for his boss as well). That being said, if he respects you enough (like he does Camilla) he'll listen if told to knock it off.

Cornel can be quite charming and polite man to talk with, though he can also get very passive aggressive, and if he doesn't particularly care for you - but the dislike isn't strong enough for murder - his contempt will ooze out of every word, to the point his boss finds it funny.

He can hold a grudge for a long time, but is also an opportunist and a patient man, knowing when it is for the best to leave things be for now, and wait for a perfect time to strike.

BG Story

Cornel's early days are a mystery, what is known that he divulged information he shouldn't have to people in human world, and that led to him becoming a wanted fugitive, who violently dispatched his would-be-captors. (he has indicated his birth family was shit) Cornel ended up faking his death eventually to get away from the Shadowless. He ended up working with a mob family eventually in human world, the sister of the Barones family boss. (Barones were the family my MC Avane's boyfriend used to serve as well) He was eventually asked by Camilla to eliminate her brother who was going off the deep end with his obsession over his "ex boyfriend" who'd escaped his clutches two years ago, endangering the family business. He happily obliged, having never really liked the man in truth, given the curse he'd placed upon the "boyfriend" in question that Cornel had noticed. He'd never spoken out for Roman as he hadn't cared about the Grimmhound really, but had always found his essentially forced servitude rather distasteful.

Fun Facts:

His other hand is darkened and has a spiral-y pattern around his shoulder as a reference to his occultism powers & immortality rune spell.

The mob family Cornel works for was the one A Grimmhound named Roman was in, before he was rescued by his now girlfriend Ava (my mc).

DeVos initially develops an admiring crush on Cornel because he reminds Vee of his ex friend/friends-with-benefits Angus, but overtime Vee realizes that Cornel is actually really terrifying and awful, and not at all what Vee liked about Angus. (Cornel plays a role in Vee's somewhat-of-a-redemption arc before his death, by giving him this moment of enlightenment)

Cornel's boss lets him feed from her sometimes, though he doesn't really ask for it (it often leads to more intimate things too...)

Cornel and Samar don't really get along that well, but have a level of respect for each other's strength, knowing the other could seriously cause some damage to them. (Samar is also not exactly immune to his vampire charm, unfortunately...)

Cornel finds DeVos an amusing little 'child' due to his initial idolization and a level of naivety. (Cornel pretty much figures out instantly from Vee's stories why he got rejected)

Cornel and Angus are kind of parallels in general; both are doctors with feared powers that utilize blood, both had tough upbringing, and their colors are kind of complementary; Angus' main (accent) color is yellow, whereas Cornel is purple.

Cornel's style is very victorian goth inspired, though does include striking lighter colors for contrast like that light lilac coat.

[strawberryonfire]

Hazbin Hotel Sin Headcanons

This is basically what I think the sins of the Hazbin characters were (for now) and what made them go to Hell

TW: Mentions of murder drugs, s**ual assault, and homiphobic people (Katie Killjoy)

Before this starts, (you can skip this if you want) in s1 ep4 of Helluva Boss, it was estaished that the Cherubs couldn't go back to Heavan because their mission ended up with the death of a human, even if they didn't actually kill him. So, like many other people theorize, it's probably much harder to get into Heavan than hell, and if you kill someone, directly, indirectly, or by acident, you might go to Hell or just have to prove yourself to be worthy of going to hevan. I think some of the characters probably killed someone and that's part of the reason they were dammed.

...

Vaggie: I have two theories for her. The first one is that she went to Hell for her anger; maybe she killed someone in a rage? My second theory, and the one I like the most, is that she accidentally killed someone, most likely a man, while defending herself. Vaggie was walking alone at night and some man tried to have his way with her, and she fought back. She probably stabbed him or something and ran away, and accidentally killed him. I like the idea of Vaggie losing her eye after she came into Hell.

Angel Dust: I do think lust and drugs were a reason he went to Hell, but not the main reasons. He was an Italian mobster when alive, and probably killed quite a few people in his time. So I think his actions in the mob is a large reason why he's in Hell.

Alastor: I'm pretty sure it's canon that Alastor was a cannibal and still is, and I also think he was a serial killer who ate his victim's.

Niffty: I feel like Niffty was a bit boy-obsessed when she was a human, and probably got her heart broken by one. Maybe she was dumped or a guy she liked had a girlfriend, so she killed him. I also kind of like the idea of her being a bit of a pyromaniac.

Husk: He was probably an alcoholic and most definitely a gambler, so that's two factors. A lot of people think Husk was a soldier in the Vietnam War, but I'm pretty sure he was an old ass man when he died, so he would have been a bit too old to serve in that war. If he was a soldier at one point in his life, I think he would have served in WW2, and he probably did kill people while serving. Husk probably got PTSD from the war, and to cope, he turned to alcohol and became an alcoholic.

Sir Pentious: I don’t have too many thoughts about what landed Pentious in Hell, but I have a feeling child labor was involved.

Baxter: I also don't have too many thought on Baxter either, but I feel like he was a mad scientist or something like that, and one of his experiments ended the life of someone, or he did messed up experiments on people or maybe animals.

Cherri Bomb: I feel like Cherri probably made/sold bombs or fireworks, or anything illigal like that, for money, or she was a protester of some kind. She was probably a violent one too, in my mind.

Valentino: I think Val was a pimp who mistreated his workers and possibly s**ually abused them in some way. Soft of like what he does with Angel.

Vox: I feel like Vox was a greedy and unfair T.V salesman, but that's all I have for him right now.

Velvette: She was probably a social media influencer and did some illegal stuff on the side.

Katie Kljoy: Katie is obviously homiphobic, but I have another thought in mind for her. In the pilot, after Charlie calls her a bitch, she turns into a more demonic form, which reminds me of a prey mantis. If you don't know, female prey mantisis eat the male (after mating I think) so this got me thinking that Katie might have killed her husband (if she had one).

Katie: Looks like they're fighting tooth and nail for that Hotspot!

Tom Trench: I've said this in my hazbin hotel death headcanons that Tom Trench probably died in the trenches In WW1, so he most likely killed others if he was a soldier. Also, based on some things he said during the pilot, I feel like he was a bit of a pervert when he was alive. ( an example down below if you wanna know)

...

Tom: And I'd sure Luke to nail her Hotspot! (referring to Cherri Bomb)

[gust-jar-simulator]

Y’know what would be fun and fucked up.

Since I’m still full of spite about Dark being a costume gimmick instead of grabbing BOTW!Link by the throat and giving him the perfect identity crisis gut punch, I think I deserve to dial up the angst knob.

I already have an idea for how to write Dark as a satisfying, if still obviously gimmick fight, but I just remembered that the Palace of the Four Sword is a thing.

The Four Sword Sanctuary kind of moves around between games, but it’s meant to be in the center of Hyrule, that center just changes because the map is insane. In Minish Cap, the sanctuary is in a courtyard in the center of Hyrule Castle, behind an invisible door.

In Link To The Past, if I recall right, the Palace of the Four Sword is a secret dungeon in the base of the Pyramid of Power, which is the Dark World’s substitute for Hyrule Castle.

So.

Let’s play a game.

We could put this either in the undercroft of Hyrule Castle in BOTW, or roughly under it in TOTK, since I do like the idea of The Depths being used as that game’s version of the Dark World. Four Swords and Four Swords Alliance seem to depict the ruins of the sanctuary slightly open to the elements, so it might not be perfectly under the castle this far down the timeline- we could even move it somewhere closer to the Minshi Woods. The Palace of the Four Sword, to me, is either one of two things: the corrupted remains of the Four Sword sanctuary, or a separate location constructed specifically by the royal family to imprison all the loose ends. I lean towards the first option.

You want your gimmick gear? You want Majora’s Mask?

Fight the shade of the Hero of Time for it.

You want the Bow of Light?

Fight the shade of Twilight Princess Zelda and her wolf for it.

You want the sailcloth?

You’ll have to rip it out of the cold dead hands of the man who killed a god.

If you’re like me, and you want some Four Swords rep or even just a singular crumb of Vaati, I think having a location like that- a hero’s tomb of some sort under the palace where you do a boss rush to mug them for their stuff- is a fun reference to start with, but apparently in development they tossed around the idea of Minish Cap’s shrinking mechanic. I am pouncing on this idea like a feral wolf because absolutely nothing recontextualizes mob threat assessment like that first boss battle in Deepwood Shrine.

The reason I shouldn’t be put in charge of writing videogames is because I’d make a gimmick dungeon in the Minshi Woods where you get shrunk to Tom Thumb size and then have to fight a keese.

The reason they should hire me anyway is because in a game where weapon durability is a mechanic and yet there are No Blacksmiths, I’d make a questline where you have to visit the fae folk to bring back the secrets of metallurgy, just one sidequest of many to help rebuild what Hyrule has lost in the wake of the Calamity. The Minish are the ones who forged the Picori Blade, after all, you can play a whole game about it.

Also, just to round the whole thing out, while I like the fact that the Master Sword tries to murder you in BOTW I think it would have been cool to fight the shade of you from 100 years ago in the Lost Woods as a trial before you earned the right to wield her. Our lad has too many hangups and issues, make him stab them in the face.

[youre-in-the-psycho-circus]

Shandi | One

Warnings: violence, abuse, hardcore action

Word Count: 2,506

Synopsis: The guys of KISS are on a mission from the Elder to find his Avatar in order to save their home Khyscz, and the whole Universe from the threat of the Destroyer. With the help of their powers and music, only She can help them defeat him and restore peace to the universe. An original idea based off of the KISS comics! 

Prologue

Master List

Chapter One: Tears are Falling

25 Earth years - Equivlant 1 Kyhscz year later. New York City, New York. 12 May 1976.

Beth Strutter scurried down 57th Street desperately trying to get to her boss’ office to end her day. She had been sent on a fetch quest today that involved walking the streets of lower Manhattan for the last five hours. She was pretty sure that by the time she got home tonight, her feet would probably detach from her body, even still, that wouldn’t be the worst thing that happened today if it did. She had dropped her coffee only minutes after buying it, a rat brushed up against her leg as she waited for the C train, and she hadn’t had any time to stop for a meal. Cheer up Beth, the day can’t get much worse... She sighed to herself as she stood waiting for the crosswalk. As if she were being punished by the universe, the heavens decided to open up at that exact moment in a torrential downpour. Beth groaned as she accepted the fact that she was going to be drenched by the time she got back, unable to reach her umbrella due to the bags upon bags she carried in her arms.

By the time she entered her employer’s office, she closely resembled the appearance of a drowned cat. “Well then, you certainly look like you had a good day.” Heather, the receptionist, mocked with a sly grin.

Beth rolled her eyes as she pushed into her employer’s office with a grumble. “Beth.” Lester McGee’s voice rang out from his desk. “About time you return.” Among the many, many personal assistants that Lester had accumulated over the years, Beth was the latest model. It’s not that the assistants ever hated their jobs, they hated Lester with a burning passion. He was greedy, impatient, and overall plain wicked. This was how he gained the nickname amongst the previous assistants as ‘Wicked Lester’. Fitting that a man such as Lester would receive a nickname that resembled that of an old school mob boss, he essentially was one, always surrounded by his cronies, pinstriped suits and overly greasy slicked back hair. Most suspected that he had connections regarding some of his more questionable transactions over the years, but none dared defy him lest they felt the wrath of Lester. Beth had unfortunately, unlike the others, witnessed quite a few of Lester’s acts of questionable legality, so she felt trapped. People who opposed ‘Wicked Lester’ disappeared. “And in such a state nonetheless.”  

“My apologies Mr McGee, there was a bit of a cloud burst and I couldn’t…” Beth tried to reason.

“I don’t want your excuses, Beth.” Lester barked as he stood from his desk, his cronies around the room letting out a snicker. “You know the company policy. What if our clients were to see you in such a state.” He growled as he stalked across the room toward her. “What kind of an image are we presenting with…this.” He spat gesturing to her as he circled her. “Then again perhaps it's an image I could learn to appreciate.” He smirked sickly. Beth followed his gaze to land on her cleavage which was very much so hanging further out than what society deemed workplace appropriate. Beth bit the inside of her lip as she pulled up the front of her shirt to cover herself as Lester’s scowl returned to his face.

“Mr McGee I…”

“Silence.” He commanded, Beth quickly looked down to show that she remembered her place. “Now did you receive the package from Mr Blackwell?”

“Yes sir, it’s in one of the bags.” Lester snapped his fingers and two of his cronies stepped forward to rip the bags from her hands. “Sorry, sir…” She bowed her head, scared to look her employer in the eye.

“Oh, Beth.” Lester’s tone of voice was suddenly much softer as he lifted her chin up so their gazes met. “When will you learn that I don’t have it out for you.” He spoke walking closer. “Somebody with your talent…” He mumbled, his gaze returning to her cleavage. “Is wasted performing fetch quests day after day.” The disgusting excuse of a man ran a hand over her bare shoulder snaking it down her side. “Especially when you could be ‘performing’ elsewhere.”

Beth stepped back out of Wicked Lester’s reach meeting the rock-solid chest of another crony. “Sir…if you please…I’d like to keep our relationship strictly professional.” She spoke slowly, turning her gaze back to the floor.

“Oh, but it would be.” Lester stepped closer slowly, starting to slide the strap of Beth’s shirt from her shoulder. Beth placed a hand over his, stopping him. “Oh Beth, when are you going to realise that refusing me only fuels my desire to possess you. Which is something I-”

The door slammed open behind them as Lester’s two main cronies, Nick and Reno, struggled through the door with Mr Blackwell. “Got ‘im, boss. This sonuvabitch is ours.” Reno cackled.

“Stop fighting us!” Nick growled shoving Mr Blackwell down into a chair.

“I told you guys already! I ain’t done nothin’ wrong!” The suited man complained as Lester stalked over to him.

“Boss, you should want that we escort her out of the room?” One of the cronies behind her squawked, clapping a hand down on her shoulder so she couldn’t run.

“No, of course not. Let her see for herself what happens to those who deny me what I desire.” Lester smirked with a wicked grin.

Beth trembled as she entered her decaying apartment in the Bronx later that evening. It wasn’t much, and the neighbourhood was rough, but she had to live within her means. Like many before her, she knew that the Bronx wasn’t a destination, but a brief stop on her way to bigger and better things, at least she hoped. Beth pressed the door closed behind her with a loud squeak of the rusting hinges. She let out a shaking breath desperately trying to keep it together. She was quick to change out of her still-sopping clothing for some dry shorts and a Yankee’s tee before pulling herself out onto the fire escape with a sigh. The weather had let up a bit, the clouds breaking apart just enough to showcase the wonderful pinks and oranges of the sun slowly setting on the horizon. Below people shouted on the street, sirens sounding just down the block, and cheers floated from the nearby Yankee Stadium, such was the background music of the Bronx. She stared at the sunset before her as she let out a quiet sob. The things that Wicked Lester had done to that poor man, things that shouldn’t have even been possible. Beth had tried to speak out to spare the poor man but she was rewarded with a punch to the face. Beth sobbed softly into her knees as she tried to regain control of herself. “Beth? That you?” A male’s voice pulled the woman back to reality, away from the haunting images of what she had previously witnessed. “Hey, neighbour. Penny for your thoughts?”

Beth turned her gaze to the right to see her neighbour, Ace Frehley, leaning out his window with a look of concern laced over his features. He had moved in a few months back, and why he would move to this terrible building was beyond her, but she had been grateful for his presence. He was a sweet guy, always offering her a smile and a joke. “Hey, Ace…” She mumbled softly, placing her head down on her knees again.

“You alright there, darlin’?” He asked, stepping through his window before crouching down in front of her, taking note of the silent sobs shaking her body. “You’re shivering. Come on, let's get you inside.” When Beth didn’t respond, Ace slowly placed a hand on her knee, taking note of how she recoiled ever so slightly. He didn’t dare move, wanting to show that he meant no harm. “Beth? Come on, look at me.” The female let out a small sigh before giving in, her long dark hair not falling in front of her dark gaze enough to hide the still-darkening bruise across her left cheekbone. “Oh no, tears are falling…” Ace said softly as he tucked her hair gently behind her ear so he could look over the wound. “Ah, we oughta get some ice on that.” He stood, offering her his hands to help her up. Slowly, but not without reluctance, Beth accepted his hands before he pulled her to her feet. “Come on then, I’ve got a pizza in the oven and there’s plenty to share.” He smiled reassuringly as he led her through his window. His apartment wasn’t very vastly decorated, just the busted furniture that had come with it littered about. A small television sat atop a cardboard box in the corner showing the Yankees game. He sat her down on the rickety sofa before walking off, coming back with a sweatshirt and a blanket. “Arms up.” He commanded softly as he gently helped her put the sweatshirt on before wrapping the blanket around her.

“Thanks…” She muttered softly.

“Don’t thank me just yet,” Ace smirked softly with a wink before making her a cup of tea and grabbing her a towel of ice. “Here ya are.” He smiled taking a seat on the coffee table, handing Beth the ice as he placed the tea next to him.

Beth winced softly at the impact of the cold upon her face but relaxed slightly as the soothing cool sensation worked its way through her warm swelling cheekbone. “Thank you…” She mumbled.

“Think nothin’ of it darlin’.” He smiled. “Now then.” He started as he pressed the cup of tea into her free hand. “What’s got ya lookin’ worse than usual?”

“Gee thanks…” She rolled her eyes as she took a sip. The warm liquid cascaded down her throat doing little to warm the frost that Wicked Lester had blown upon her heart. “Just what every girl wants to be told.”

“Just my natural flirting skills.” Ace laughed with a cheeky wink, causing a small smile to spread across Beth’s lips. “Ah, there it is, that little smile, right there, I see it!” He prodded poking at the corner of her mouth. Beth giggled softly, her smile growing the slightest bit more. “Ah look, it's bigger now!” He laughed as he took back the cup. “I must say you’re a lot more receptive to my antics than the girls back home.”

Beth smirked ever so slightly as she leaned comfortably into the back of the couch. “Where did you say you were from again?”

“Nowhere that you would know, I’m not of Earth.” He said rather nonchalantly taking a sip of a Miller he had gotten for himself. “I’m from a small planet in the Andromeda galaxy called Jandel.”

“Jandel…so you’re a Spaceman, then?”

Ace noticeably stiffened at the nickname for some reason, but it didn’t last very long. “No, actually I’m a plumber.” He laughed hysterically.

Beth laughed, a full smile spreading across her features. “Well in that case I’ve got some plumbing for you to look at.”

“Hey, I’d be more than happy to oblige.” He winked, making Beth blush softly. She had always thought Ace to be attractive, since the day she first ran into him in the hallway when he was moving in.

“I’m sure you would be, Spaceman.” She laughed. “If that’s what you really are.”

“I s’pose you could say that.” Ace chuckled softly.

“This your spaceship then?”

“What this shit hole? Nah that’s up on the roof.” He laughed with a wink. “So enough about my former life, what made my girl so unhappy today?”

“Just another day at the office…another day of Wicked Lester’s antics.” She sighed as Ace offered her the tea again.

Ace sighed, his dark eyes filled with sadness for the female. “Ah gee, I’m sorry Beth. When are ya just gonna quit that god awful job anyhow?”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Yeah, but ya also can’t be comin’ home with shiners like that.” Ace grimaced as he pulled her hand down to look at the bruise. “Eeee…best keep that on there.” He said replacing the ice to its spot on her face. “What warranted that?”

Beth bit the inside of her lip as she recounted the events that transpired earlier that day. “I told ya already! I’d never inform on anya youse! I’m a public figure! The cops, they hassle me no matter what I do! If I be lyin’ I be dyin’!” Mr Blackwell argued with Wicked Lester.

“Yes…I know you are. Hush now.” Lester grumbled as he took off his suit jacket rolling up the sleeves. “Some say a bullet to the head is best, or poison. But you’re no normal rat.” Wicked Lester cold-cocked the man seated before him across the jaw. Beth let out a squeak of shock as she placed her hands over her mouth to silence herself as she backed toward the door to see herself out only to be stopped by the cronies. Blood poured from Mr Blackwell’s mouth as he breathed heavily trying to combat the amount of pain he was experiencing in his surely broken jaw. “So I’d say your betrayal has earned you no mercy. Instead…” Wicked Lester continued as he snapped his fingers, blue sparks prickling from the tips. A ring of fire in the shape of a pentagram broke out on the floor. With a bright light, the pentagram became a portal.

“Hey what’s with that trick floor!” Mr Blackwell croaked out.

“You're not well, Mr Blackwell and we can tell,” Lester spoke slowly, his henchmen snickering as if they’d heard this all a million times before. “You're not well, Mr Blackwell, why don't you go to hell.” Wicked Lester gleamed as he gestured to the portal.

“Come ‘ere you.” Reno and Nick grunted as they tried to force Mr Blackwell into the portal.

“No please!” The suited man pleaded for his life, digging his patent leather heels into the floor, a mere few inches from the portal.

“Mr McGee! Please stop!” Beth yelled out as if it would change anything.

“Go to hell, I say!” Lester, living up to his nickname let out a wicked laugh as Mr Blackwell was thrown into the portal with a shriek. With a swirl of energy, the portal fizzled out into a cloud of smoke. “Now go put an end to that Damnable Federal Agent who turned him out. All who oppose the Destroyer will fall!” Lester commanded his cronies as they left the room leaving himself and Beth. “So my dear Beth, you’ve now seen my true power. And you still try to be a hero?” Beth kept her eyes downcast, unable to look this twisted, vial man in the eyes. In her attempts to make herself smaller, she was surprised to find herself on the floor after Wicked Lester blindsided her with a punch to the cheekbone. “I should send you right along after him for what you’ve seen.” He roared down at the girl, fire flaring up around her where the pentagram had once been. Beth looked up at Lester, remaining emotionless. The devil of a man looked down and chuckled menacingly to himself, somehow making his eyes darker than they had seemed before. “Your absolute lack of emotion intoxicates me, woman. A woman after my very heart and soul, indeed.” He smirked.

“I ran out after that…I don’t think he’s expecting me back tomorrow, but I really don’t think I should give him the satisfaction.” Ace seemed relatively calm but inside he was fuming that someone would lay a hand on his neighbour, let alone a zealot of the being that consumed his home world. So the Destroyer had minions spread as far as the meek human realm? Demonic ones no doubt. Things were a lot worse than they had originally thought. They had spent the last twenty-five years scouring the Earth searching for She but never even thought to look for signs of the Destroyer. This surely meant his power was growing. But why were they after such a sweet and innocent little human female like Beth? What could she possibly have to offer them? Ace hoped that one of the others might have an answer. “I know it sounds completely insane but I swear to you I’m telling the truth.” Beth continued with a little bit of fear in her eyes. The last thing she needed was for him to be shipping her off to the asylum.

“Well yeah, it sounds like some convoluted tale from the mind of a complete nut job…” He trailed off, as Beth cringed very slightly. “But…” He continued peeking at her interest. “...it's still not the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.” Ace nodded glancing at the stove as the timer went off.

“So you believe me?” She asked in disbelief as he casually walked over to take the pizza from the oven.

“Sure do.” He nodded. Ace walked back over to Beth taking the ice from her before placing a hand on her face, unbeknownst to her, a trickle of blue sparks leaving his fingers before entering her skin where the bruise lay. “I want ya to know that you can count on me no matter what. I may not be the toughest guy around, but I will always help ya in whatever way I can.”

Beth smiled softly, gently leaning into his touch. “Thanks, Ace…you’re my hero.”

Ace smirked before helping her to stand. “I’ll certainly try to be. Now come on, pizza’s gettin’ cold.”

Chapter 2: Almost Human

[kwaggysshardmindemporium]

I have an on-again off-again episodic game with lots of bits like this. The players are magical life insurance agents. They go out and collect the souls of the customers when they die doing whatever dumb adventurer shit they were doing to be put in a reconstituted body somewhere safer. Except it's almost never actual adventurers when I'm making encounters. It's a local mob boss who can easily afford the most premium service, but the city guard intercept you en route saying this is the best opportunity to sniff around in his room for any kind of evidence against him. Or it's a random civilian who died somehow on a literal walk in the park... and it turns out the victim among several others had their souls torn out and fragmented as a sacrifice to some eldritch demon lord no one's ever heard of.

Personal favorite one so far: dude who was previously a tenured professor at a local but prestigious magical college. Died doing some weird time magic bullshit, and the readouts at base show him somehow both alive and dead that's weird. The players arrive, and turns out he's in a time loop which only resets when he dies. He declares that yes he's aware the players need to collect his soul, but you see this triggers him to loop and he quite likes seeing how far he can get before he gets reset back to start so don't take this the wrong way but he's going to kill you now. And he's gotten very experienced at killing you now since it's definitionally the first thing he does every loop.

To be clear, the players are NOT in a time loop, have never met this guy before, don't even remember his name from the briefing that got dropped on their desk this morning, have no idea what the FUCK he's talking about or why he knows a bunch of weird stupid details about them, or why he seems to personally hate all of them.

The plan, for future sessions when the pendulum swings back to on-again, is for him to show up as a side character in unrelated missions because the players absolutely did not break his time loop and sometimes it bleeds back into the same timeline as the one the players are in, with this guy being just really infuriated to see them every time even though the players probably won't be hostile.

I think that there should be more incidental big bads

Your characters go through a door and find a boss arena with a lich in the center cackling to himself. "Finally! I have collected the seven keys to the Apocalypse Throne! Soon, the prophecy will be complete and a thousand years of blood shall descend upon the world! Mwahahaha!" No-one's ever mentioned an "apocalypse throne" or its keys or a prophecy about a thousand years of blood all campaign, and you have no idea who this guy is. You stop him and the game just goes on. None of this ever comes up again.

[becauseimanicequeen]

4 Minutes Theories (Ep. 1)

I've compiled my theories from my initial reaction to the trailer and the teaser, as well as a theory I had a few days later in this post and will go through them one by one.

After the first episode, which I watched quite late last night (because of the Olympic opening ceremony), I'm already wrong on some of my initial theories. That's exactly what I expected from a Sammon story.

So, let's see how wrong I was and how (un)likely the other theories are. I might also develop some theories and add some new ones at the end.

Let's go!

The moments Great sees ahead of time are moments that might help him redeem himself from a past mistake/transgression. (Unconfirmed)

This one is unconfirmed, but there might be a pattern emerging where the random moments (seemingly random, at this point) that are reversed, seemed to be reversed for Great to do them over/do better. The first was after the hit and run, and the second was after running into Tyme and leaving him behind. Both started with him running/walking away while he helped them out the second time.

I had a previous idea that Great hitting that person with this car might've triggered his precognitive ability, which seemed to be true in yesterday's episode (kind of) since it was clearly his first time experiencing it. However, I think the root cause of his ability is his heart issues rather than the accident, which Den's research seems to be pointing towards so far.

(Also, since we know this show is playing with time, Great's cardiac arrest/near-death experience could already have happened or might be something that happens in the future or everything we've seen so far is caused by a time loop to fuck with our minds, lol.)

Den's research and the link between the precognitive ability being caused by a cardiac arrest/near-death experience is key here. It also continues to be reinforced by Great laying a hand on his chest when he feels iffy.

The car accident is the trigger for Great’s visions. (Confirmed)

As I mentioned above, the car accident triggered the first precognitive experience he had even though it looks like his heart condition is the root cause of his ability.

So, should I accept this theory or not? Should I give myself my first confirmed theory? Well, I'll probably have a thousand wrongs, so let me just have this one, okay? It might be the only one I get right this time, lol.

Korn is the bad guy. (Unconfirmed)

This man is sus as hell. I mean, just look at all the camera shots of him looking like a mob boss...

Try and tell me he's not sus!

I'm keeping this theory even though I might revise it a bit. Because, to be fair, he doesn't seem to be the bad guy. His dad is currently taking that spot. But I'm pretty sure Korn will have to do some shady shit considering what his dad is pushing him into.

I'm revising this theory to Korn having to do some shady shit to prove to his dad that he can take over the family business. And I've got the feeling that it will destroy more than one person he cares about.

What I love about Korn, though, is that he's quiet and laid back (always be aware of the quiet ones). I'm pretty sure there's a beast inside of him (and I don't just mean the beast we saw when he fucked his sugar baby). I would love to see that beast unleashed and wreaking havoc.

(Just do it! If not for yourself, then do it for me. Pretty please. And thank you.)

Title is involved with Korn (might be brothers or boss/minion). (Unconfirmed)

Well, he's not a brother. At least not the kind of brother to show up in the family photo.

He might still get/be involved with Korn and have a boss/employee relationship, so I'm keeping this theory for now.

Tonkla has a target on his back. (Unconfirmed)

This theory was based on the background of the poster for Fuaiz/Tonkla.

Depending on what he does with Korn (because I'm feeling some betrayal coming up for them), and considering he's getting valuable info from Korn, Tonkla could be a potential threat to Korn/Korn's dad and the family business in the future.

I'm worried about this angel-faced sugar baby who clearly wants something more out of his relationship with his daddy Korn. But it could also be a fun spin on things if Tonkla is the betrayer in this relationship way before Korn tries to cast him aside.

If so, destroy everything in your path, baby. You have my full support.

Win is battling some contrasting, opposing forces (internal and/or external). (Unconfirmed)

This theory was based on the background of the poster for JJay/Win. It was all about the contrasting colors.

Win hasn't been introduced in the story, yet. But, I might have a new theory that goes hand-in-hand with this one. And that theory is that Win might be working for Korn or Korn's family's business, the shady side of the business. He might be a programmer or something. He will cross paths with Tonkla (and I'm pretty sure they will start a thing together because baby is starving for affection and there was a short clip in the trailer that I'm pretty sure is Fuaiz and JJay), and the battle Win has to fight might be his attachment/feelings for Tonkla versus his loyalty (?) to his boss.

Den is a neurologist and friends with Tyme. (Half-confirmed)

Not that this theory matters much anymore, since Den is looking into the cardiac arrest/near-death experiences and "the 4-minutes phenomenon" (which it says on his board) either way.

So, I will drop this theory and say that it's half-confirmed? That's pretty fair, isn't it?

Den has a situationship with Korn. (Unconfirmed)

I'm keeping this theory only because I want it to happen.

Don't get me wrong, I loved the chemistry between Korn and Tonkla and their dynamic is really interesting so I definitely want to see more of them (and I know we'll get more).

But, also... I suddenly want Korn to get shot so Den can work his magic (medicine) to save Korn and develop things from there.

(This is purely because I want some Bas and Job things to happen. I got Ta and Barcode in DFF, can I get Bas and Job here? Pretty please. And thank you.)

But, please, sir, keep the glasses on because Korn is one sus (and handsome) man.

Dome is a mystery person operating under the radar without showing his true alliance until the end. (Unconfirmed)

We haven't seen Dome yet. But...

You know the woman Great hit? The woman who had a son Great's age? Yeah?

Dome is her son.

There's a 25% chance I might be right (the other three options are Tonkla, Win, or no one that's part of the story). But I'm choosing Dome because I need Mio in every episode even if he's just mentioned (but I preferably want to see him act, so give him to me!).

Also, wouldn't it be bonkers if the woman (did they mention her name, btw?) is in debt because of gambling and her son (Dome) goes out seeking revenge because of her suicide attempt, which could lead to me getting Bible and Mio in one frame together? Give it to me.

(Honestly, this could very well be Tonkla too. I'm just adding this as a whisper here because I know Sammon will make me change my mind a hundred times before it's confirmed, lol. And, sometimes, I should just trust my whispers...)

Great and Win are brothers who will butt heads from time to time. (Wrong)

Well, this theory crashed and burned.

Turns out Korn and Great are brothers. Half brothers who seem to have a good relationship.

But...

Honestly, even though another brother hasn't been confirmed nor denied (and even though there wasn't an additional sibling in the family photo), this could still potentially be an unconfirmed theory (because Sammon always fucks with my head, lol). Who knows what Great's dad has been up to? That's one shady man.

But, fine...

I will scrap this theory. I will admit my defeat and let it go.

Fasai is the other character with a condition similar to Great’s (alternatively, it's Tyme). (Unconfirmed)

We haven't seen Fasai, yet, but we've heard about her.

Even though we haven't seen her yet, I don't think this theory will be confirmed. But, until I've actually seen her and know she doesn't have a precognitive ability, I'll keep this theory in unconfirmed mode.

I'm pretty sure this will be proven wrong soon, though, because I think the other person with a precognitive ability that was mentioned in the trailer might be the woman who talked to (and flirted with?) Den. (I think her name was Lukwa?)

So, prove my initial theory wrong, Sammon.

Fasai is locked up and has a connection with Korn (who locked her up). (Unconfirmed)

The locked-up part was based on me thinking this woman from the trailer was Fasai:

But this is possibly Lukwa instead. So, I'm letting go of the part of my theory that Fasai is locked up.

The part about her having a connection to Korn, however...

Before the first episode, I thought she might be a sister (which was proven wrong, if we're to believe the family photo). Considering how Korn talked about her when he talked to his dad on the phone, though, I'm thinking she might be a close friend/relative (or a client) or someone Korn is "dating". There's definitely a connection between Fasai and Korn either way.

Great sometimes enter a kind of dream world. (Unconfirmed)

I don't mean this in the way they showed us how he sees things and is transported back in time. I mean in the sense that he sees things while sleeping/being unconscious and/or experiences moments or visions of the past/future.

Kind of like in this scene from the trailer where he's in a solitary room with that woman in the image above and the light becomes increasingly red as he stares off into the distance:

That red light also flashed during the scene with the patient (whom I believe is Great) having a cardiac arrest at the beginning of the first episode:

This scene connects to the scene in the trailer because of that red light. So, both these scenes might have a connection to the "dream world" (I should've called this something better, lol). Perhaps Great "enters" this world when he's having his heart problems/near-death experience?

Or, perhaps the "dream world" is a parallel universe? Too much? Okay, let's move on...

Great’s (Bible’s) tattoos have something to do with the story. (Because I refuse to believe otherwise! lol) (Unconfirmed)

I swear I'm keeping this theory because it hasn't been confirmed (or denied), yet. That's the only reason I'm keeping this theory.

I swear...

(Let's see if this cropped image will stop my post from getting flagged...)

Great becomes Korn’s target because he can see ahead of time. (Unconfirmed)

Highly unlikely considering they're brothers who seem really close. But, I'm keeping this theory because I've previously mentioned the beast currently sleeping inside Korn. And I have no idea what's going to happen if/when he releases it.

Will he become so ruthless in his pursuit to prove himself to his dad that he'll go after Great as well? We'll see.

Great hit the person with his car at 11:01 (or they died at 11:01) and that’s why he sees clocks stopping at that time. (Wrong)

He hit her at 12:43, so this theory is wrong.

I could keep the part of her dying at 11:01 unconfirmed, because that hasn't happened yet (if it ever will). But I'm choosing to let that one go as well because my theory was that this would be why Great kept seeing clocks at 11:01. But he already does that, and she's still alive. So, I'm letting this one go.

Instead, I'm changing this into a new theory where I think the 11:01 might've been when Great had his cardiac arrest, which might've been why this clock was shown after that sequence at the beginning of the episode:

11:01 is when Great can see 4 minutes into the future. (Wrong)

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Someone will die/fake their death. (Unconfirmed)

Well, that seems pretty obvious, right? Look how smart I am, lmfao.

Anyway...

New theories after the 1st episode:

Here, I'll gather the new theories I have (to make it simpler for myself to find them next week) and add one or two other ones I've come up with.

Korn will do some shady shit to prove to his dad that he can take over the family business. I've got the feeling it will destroy more than one person he cares about.

Tonkla will betray Korn.

Great has a cardiac arrest/near-death experience at 11:01.

The visions Great had of himself and Tyme together might be a sign that he has been pushed a lot further than just 4 minutes back in time to fix things (but has no clear memory of it other than these random flashes that may or may not continue happening). (I might expand on this theory in a separate post, but I don't promise anything. ADDED: here's the post about this theory.)

Tyme will have a near-death experience (perhaps after being shot) and develop his own precognitive ability, which he will use to help Great in the future (this might not happen since it could potentially be too similar to Triage, but it's still a possibility).

Results so far:

Theories before ep 1: 18

Confirmed theories: 1.5

Unconfirmed theories: 13.5

Wrong/scrapped theories: 3

New theories after ep 1: 5

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

I'm starting to enjoy the game more, but the combat is...I don't like it.

Not sure where I left off. I got a Sith uniform. At lost has changed since then. I was able to get to the undercity with the uniform. Turns out there's a gang down here with an "honorable" leader. Noble leader of the untouchables, I guess? He didn't step down when his second wanted him to, so his second started a rival gang and they're not noble...I guess. I've traded my sith uniform for sith papers, which give me free movement.

So to find my missing Jedi friend, I need to attack the enemy gang (they have her). They also have prototype engine for a race that the noble gang wants me to steal. This is all to get my jedi friend back Balista, or something. To get in, I need to use the sewers. To find the sewers, I've been encouraged to find a young woman and her Wookie friend. i met them earlier. They seemed nice. I pick up some bounties on the way.

I go to this other place where the real down-and-out are living. There's a disease that's turning people into monsters (feels zombie-movie-esque) and this town is on the frontier of that. "Town". A doctor wants a sample of the disease to make a cure, but another man is offering me money (his mob boss wants to make a profit). Being anti-capitalist and pro-free healthcare, i know what to do here...

So the down and out place has a gate that separates the "town" from ghoul-ridden area. I hit a glitch and accidentally get warped to the sewer WTF? climbing out of the sewer I find myself on the wrong side of the ghoul gate. I wander around, die a few times, lean into using my grenades. It's not really fun and it's confusing. I'm worried I'm stuck, as I'm not quite ready to raid the enemy gang camp through the sewer yet. I find I can warp back to my "home base" and it works.

I end up using this home-base-warp a lot.

Now I'm able to heal up and get more equipment. I end up learning there's an old man that has and idea of a "promise land" for these people. I find the journals and turn them in, the whole "town" up and leaves. I like how the game is willing to make permanent change based on my actions. But the town left before I could finish a side quest regarding infected people. Oh well.

Oh, another bug--when I came into the town at one point, a man outside the gate screamed for help. Every time I offered to help, a cut scene would show me run outside the game but then nothing else would happen. I'm curious if my earlier warp fucked things up? Anyway, i had chose "let the guy die" to move forward. I swear, if this game has a bug that prevents me moving forward, I'm not starting over. That's just gonna be it.

I find the young woman and wookie and add them to my party. I kick out Carth cause he's grumpy. Also, these two feel like a pair and I don't want to split them up. We raid the enemy. I'm able to hack computers and blow up transformers to thin the heard. I run into a boss that uses a laser shield, so I equip everyone with swords...apparently these developers like Dune. At this point, i'm starting to get a feel for the combat, and really leaning on grenades.

I also end up clearing some other areas--collecting weapon and armor attachments, stocking up on supplies. I accidentally complete a bounty. On another bounty, i have choice to help the guy fakes his death. That was kind of neat. I wondered if this was going to be like the Tattooine section of Ep 1 for PC, where I got to do some trading and collecting and negotiation. This is better, and what I was looking for!

But the combat is crap. I was fighting a boss and doing no damage. I just sat there as my character attacked the boss FROM BEHIND and kept "missing" despite watching his swords slice through the dude.

I get the prototype jet, now I have to race. I was a little worried but also impressed they would have a racing section. I expected something like Jak 2's racing. Nope. You just move a thing side-to-side on a straight away. Fun mini-game, but clearly a simple option. Winning the event leads to drama and our missing jedi friend breaks from of captivity to help me kick butt.

The Jedi lady is a jerk and arrogant. I wander if there's some misogyny in her writing, as male jedis are often shown as level headed. Well...maybe not Anakin. The drama between Carth and Jedi is so contrived and annoying. It's like a JJ Abrams production. We're contacted by a mandalorian that is definitely fine with taking his helmet off and definitely not wearing anything else that looks mandalorian.

I get a robot friend and we invade the sith base. I'm getting comfortable with the combat and I'm pretty successful. Oh yeah, I put it on easy. This is a long ass game and I just don't have time for this bullshit numbers. I already hate the over-reliance on numbers and chance. I'm interested in the story and adventure, the experience, not dying 100 times because I got unlucky dice roles.

While playing, I noticed the graphics were pretty good. released in 2003, it should be expected to look decent. It just looks more decent then I was expecting. Maybe I'm too used to PS2 and the FPS Star Wars games I was playing.

I'm about to leave my first planet. I'm having a pretty good time. I worry that I'm not attributing points smartly on level up, choosing to focus on personality and persuasion. I'm doing auto-level ups for party members. Stressing over stats for one character is bad enough.

I'm kinda mad I started playing this instead of some of the other games I was excited about. But I bought this 2 years ago and haven't touched it. I feel like I should get it out of the way.

[dycefic]

Have An Evil Day

No prompt this time, just a sequel to ‘Welcome To Evil-Mart’

Working at Evil-Mart is usually… well, it’s retail. It’s physically exhausting, you have to deal with a lot of idiots without being overtly rude, and your feet hurt. Even though the hours and pay are very good, the benefits are great, and our bosses treat us well compared to most retail employees, it’s still not what I’d call a fun job.

But it’s not what I’d call dull, either. Especially not on days like today.

I was promoted to supervisor after the Food Poisoning Incident, so I have a little more authority and a little less obligation to be pleasant and I got issued a weighted cosh because sometimes Evil-Mart customers get… feisty. I’d never had to use it, though, because those who hadn’t seen what I did to Majority Rules, either in person or on one of the cell-phone videos that circulated afterwards, had at least heard about it.  They didn’t give me any trouble.

I was halfway through my shift, and the worst things that’d happened had been running out of croissants and a machine oil spill in Aisle Seven, when our greeter pressed the alarm button, which sent an alert to my handset. As front-end supervisor, that meant me, so I went over. Sam, who is unusual in the henching community for having actually aged out rather than ‘being retired’ jerked his chin in the direction of a tall, swaggering figure. “He just came in,” he whispered.

I did a full double-take before I took it in. Superdyne. Fucking Superdyne.

We’d all heard about his dramatic heel-turn a couple of months ago. The whole world had heard about it. Superdyne, who’d skated closer and closer to the line for years, had decided to cross it in a blaze of bloodshed. He was a villain now, he said. There’d been a whole speech about how ingratitude had driven him to it blah blah blah.

I work at Evil-Mart. I’m from a hench family. If someone becomes a supervillain because they hate Mondays or want to turn us all into dinosaurs or whatever, I don’t judge. I will sell depth-charges and laser guns to anyone who can prove they’re over eighteen without hesitation. But even we get kind of grossed out by the ‘I am forced to turn evil because I haven’t been given enough love’ thing. People who are actually so fucked up by emotional abuse or neglect or some superhero killing their family, we’re fine with them. But they don’t say that’s why they do it, and most of them need a lot of therapy to even realize it. People who actually say that’s why are entitled dickwads.

And now the dickwad had walked into Evil-Mart like he was entitled. Like he thought he was one of us.

“Lockdown protocols,” I told Sam quietly. “On my authorisation.” That takes a minute or two, though, so I went over to talk to Superdyne. “Sir, I have to ask how you even knew where to find this place.”

He smirked at me. “I have my ways,” he said smugly. He’d either bribed or beaten someone, that was my guess. “So this is where the villains shop? We all thought you went to Wal-Mart.” He laughed, like he thought it was clever.

“Yes, so you all say,” I said dryly. I didn’t feel like pretending he was the first person to make the bad joke. “My next question, sir, is what made you think it was a good idea to come in here.”

He spread his hands. “I’m one of you now!” he said happily. “I’m a bad guy! So now I guess I shop where the bad guys shop!” He looked around, frowning a little. “Although I was expecting more weapons and explosives. A… more villainous atmosphere. I didn’t know Evil-Mart had fresh produce.”

“I don’t advise buying herbs here unless you’re a magical practitioner. Some of them have… unusual effects.” A lot of our produce is normal stuff, but some of it not only isn’t legal, it doesn’t exist anywhere else.

“Oh. Well, that makes sense. But the bright lights and the bakery?”

“We have excellent gluten-free breads. In many ways, Superdyne, this is just another store. We have sales, we mark down the breads in the afternoon, we even have a PA system.” I pulled out my handset, and thumbed the button that tied it to the PA. “Attention, shoppers,” I said in my most soothing Customer Service voice, which made him grin. “Evil-Mart wishes to inform you – “ The countdown on my handset reached zero, and I turned to look at the entrance as a huge blast door thudded down. That was the last part of the sequence – staff outside the area were already in lockdown and security were on their way. I smiled, and continued almost without a pause. “- That we are in lockdown at this time, due to the presence of Superdyne in the store. Please remain calm, and be advised that security are on their way to deal with the problem. If you have a personal grudge that you wish to address with Superdyne at this time, he is standing near Register Six with a stupid expression on his face.”

He was staring at me, stunned. “But… but…” he stammered, and damned if he didn’t look puzzled. “But I’m one of you now!”

“No,” I said flatly. “You were always evil, that’s true, but you’ll never be one of us. And for the record, I’m one of the people with a personal grudge. All those henchmen you’ve killed and maimed had families, asshole… and they all shop here.”

He swung at me, then, but I spent years in hench training. Even someone super-strong can be dodged, and once I slammed my cosh into his groin a few times his punches got a lot more aimless. Around then, Tiger Ty came over the register, claws out and snarling, and I figured I should stand out of the way.

About ten minutes later, I turned on the PA again. “Clean-up to Register Six,” I called, in the same special voice. “Category 7, class three. Shoppers, please be advised that lockdown is now lifted but Register Six will be closed until clean-up is completed.”

Hunter, who’d been working Register Six, came out from underneath it. He looked a little green. Well, he was still in his teens, this was probably his first fatal mobbing. “What’s Category 7?” he asked in a shaky voice. “I haven’t heard that before.”

“Biohazard.”

“Oh. Class three?”

“Send three people. He was a juicy one.” I stepped away from a spreading puddle of blood. “Run and get a couple of caution signs we can put around this mess.” I eyed it measuringly. “And one of those fifteen-gallon plastic tubs with a lid, I’ll damage it out.”

He eyed the mess. “Are you sure that’s big enough?”

“Yeah, the average human is only about seventeen gallons by volume, and I’m not going to put all the blood and mush in there, just the big pieces.”

He gulped. “Ah. Yes, ma’am.”

I called after him when he ran off. “One of the black tubs, not a clear one!” Which honestly should only be common sense, but you can’t count on a flustered teenager to have common sense.

We frown on killing customers at Evil-Mart, up to a point… but when a particularly murderous super-hero walks into our store, well, that’s something else. I’d have to fill out a ton of paperwork, though.

I had to chase off one of Doctor Malign’s minons and two members of the Genetic Reign before the clean-up crew arrived, both of whom urgently wanted samples. In the end I scraped a few pieces of liver and unidentified organ into two of the bags we use for possibly-contaminated money just to make them go away. (They’re good customers, and it was just going to go in the trash anyway.)

By the time the clean-up was done, all the big pieces were boxed up, and I’d finished the paperwork, my shift had been over for twenty minutes, and I’d been asked to come up to the boss’s office.

“Listen, I have no issues with how you handled the situation, I want you to know that.” Mr Trent leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingertips together. “It was quick, it was efficient, and… given your personal history with Superdyne, not to mention mine and that of half of our customer base… richly deserved.”

“Yes, sir,” I said. It came out too meek, and I cleared my throat and straightened up. It’s hard not to be intimidated by Mr Trent, when you’re in the same room with him. It’s not his fault, and he does his best, but even under the strictest control his fear-inducing powers tend to unsettle anyone who gets too close. We all know he’s not doing it on purpose and we try not to show our reactions. “Do you have any orders regarding the remains?”

“Doctor Order wants them.” He rubbed his chin. “Get someone from the pharmacy to prepare samples for him, please, including brain tissue. He’s our primary supplier, and we can’t offend him. As for the rest… as you know, I’m retired, and I don’t usually participate in the Endless War.” One of his hands dropped to his left thigh. His prosthetic leg is some of Doctor Order’s best work, but the injury that led to his retirement had been brutal even by our standards. “But this is different. Superdyne came here. To our place of safety. We need to make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

I nodded. “Do you want the remains dumped somewhere public? Some kind of dramatic display?”

“No. Something more direct.” He rubbed his chin again, then tapped the intercom on his desk. “Iris, please send up Miss Fedorova from Marketing and Mr Levy from the warehouse.”

“Yes, sir,” Iris responded, and he clicked off the intercom again.

“The three of you worked together very well, during the food poisoning incident,” he explained. “And I believe they can assist us in a satisfactory conclusion.” He hesitated, then smiled ruefully. “Perhaps you should wait outside until they get here. I can tell I’m unsettling you.”

“Sir, I know you’re not – “

“Not doing it on purpose.” He sighed. “I do appreciate how hard you all work to make me feel… accepted, I really do. But I’m very annoyed right now, which makes control more difficult for me, so I think we’d both be more relaxed if you waited outside while I do my meditation exercises.”

I waited outside. When the three of us went into his office again, the miasma of low-level fear was definitely a bit lighter, and he smiled. “All right. Now, this conversation is going to be very confidential, and I will remind you all of the agreements you signed when you were employed.” We all chorused agreement, and he nodded. “Good. Now, this is very much a secret, even among Evil-Mart staff, but we do have a few online clients who are… ah… on the other side of the fence.”

Ms Fedorova blinked. “What?”

Knuckles sighed. “We ship to a few heroes,” he explained. “The ones who are… less homo than sapiens, if you get my drift.”

I didn’t, and from her expression Ms Fedorova didn’t either. Mr Trent spread his hands, drawing our eyes to his fingers. Which as a rule nobody looks at, because there’s fourteen of them, with four joints in each finger, and we know he’s self-conscious about it. “The less… purely human ones,” he said quietly. “One of the reasons I created Evil-Mart was to give those who can’t pass for human, like me, a place to be… people. To have dignity. So that the obligate carnivores weren’t reduced to living on pet-food or scavenging for scraps, so that those with complex metabolisms could get the supplements they need so that people who are still people, for all their outward differences, could shop in safety. There are a great many more monsters, demigods, abominations of science and other non-standard persons among our set than among the heroes, and I wanted to meet their needs, as well as selling weapons and Lair-away-from-home sets and so on.”

“And there are a few heroes who order from us for that reason,” Knuckles added. “The ones who can’t get medications to suit their metabolism, or need to eat things that you can’t get easily anywhere else.”

I nodded, because that much I understood. We have some very esoteric ‘dietary supplies’ that start with fresh, healthy, well-treated and disease-free prey animals frozen whole (from mouse up to calf and goat kept in stock, larger sizes by pre-order, halal and kosher certified where possible) and end with human blood (rejected blood bank stock mostly, we have an arrangement), and human flesh and organs (sourced from hospitals, morgues and crematoriums, guaranteed no murder, at least not by us). “Well, I suppose that makes sense. I’m surprised we ship to them, though.”

“Oh, they don’t know we know. It’s all assumed names and secret bank accounts.” Knuckles grinned. “But Mr Trent has all our online customers identified before we ship. And for the ones who don’t have any other options, well… we let it slide.”

“I can see why you don’t want that to get out.” Ms Fedorova tapped her chin. “What does this have to do with disposing of the body? I was planning to set up a really ghoulish display in a public place somewhere, I already have some sketches.” Marketing for Evil-Mart is… well, it includes more than designing our sale flyers.

“No. We’re going to deliver them to a hero… one of the ones who owes us… and make it very clear that just because someone decides to admit he’s a villain, that doesn’t make him one of us and it doesn’t entitle him to union services,” Mr Trent said flatly. “I want to make it crystal clear to all of them that a heel turn does not mean their sins are forgiven, or that we will accept them as anything other than a very brief amusement.”

Late that night – we were all on overtime, but it couldn’t be done in daylight – we wheeled a cart down the run-down hallway of a shoddy apartment building. “This is a terrible address for a hero,” Ms Fedorova muttered. “Are we sure he lives here?”

“I deliver here a couple of times a month.” Knuckles was pushing the cart. “I’m sure.”

“Okay.” Ms Fedorova cleared her throat, coughed once or twice, and suddenly her voice was deeper and her very faint Russian accent was as thick as pea soup. “This is intimidation tactic,” she said, grinning toothily. “Do not act surprised.”

I knocked on the door, but let Knuckles do the talking. “Delivery, Mr West,” he called, using the fake name the guy had been giving.

It worked… the door was unlocked and opened almost immediately. “I scheduled the order for next – “ the mark said, and then we were pushing inside, slamming the door behind us.

“Do not be alarmed, Mr… Dinoid, is it?” Ms Fedorova said, folding her arms. “Evil-Mart is knowing all along your real identity. But you are needing to eat, and we are not turning down regular business, so we make no trouble.”

Knuckles rolled his eyes behind her back at how much she was hamming it up, but I waved a hand. Let her have her fun. So Knuckles started unloading the boxes onto the table while she talked. “First, your Budget Bunny Box. Your favourite, da?” The next box, smaller, plunked down. “Two fresh chickens, halal certified, healthy and having lived good life, gift for good customer.” Knuckles dumped the plastic tub on the floor. “And mortal remains of Superdyne, with note.”

Dinoid was staring at us, but that made him shift into a combat stance, his long claws spread. “The… Superdyne’s dead? And in there?”

“Well. Most of him. The big pieces.” Ms Fedorova shrugged an impressively Russian shrug. I hadn’t even known that was a thing, but when she did it, it was obvious. “You must understand, when a mob tears a man apart, it is hard to find every little piece.”

“I’m pretty sure Doctor Malign and the Genetic Reign took off with doggy bags,” I said, as if I hadn’t handed them over myself. “And Doctor Order probably has some of him too, by now. So looking out for clones would be a good idea, I don’t know if that’s in the note.”

Insofar as that reptilian face could show readable expressions, he looked shocked. “Why on earth would… why? He changed sides? And why did you bring him to me?”

“We know your address, we know you don’t want to turn us in because we’re the only ones who can supply your meals, and our boss wanted us to make this very clear.” I indicated the note. Since Ms Fedorova was hamming up her Sexy Russian Supervillain act, and Knuckles was very obvious Muscle, I figured it was on me to be the Reasonable One. “He might have stopped being a hero, but that didn’t make him one of us. That didn’t make him acceptable to us. Our boss wants it made very clear that your failures shouldn’t expect to be accepted by us… or even spared by us.”

He shifted slowly, the tip of his tail twitching. “I… see. I understand why you would reject Superdyne. He was notorious for killing and maiming people on… your side. But I know other defectors have been accepted. Philomel, for example.”

“Philomel was child of villains. She is young, she is rebellious, she sides with heroes for a while.” Ms Fedorova shrugged. “Is understandable, da? The young do foolish things. She comes home, all is forgiven.”

He nodded slowly. “Tenebrous?”

“That story I don’t know.” Ms Fedorova glanced at me.

I nodded. “Tenebrous was just a kid. He was twelve when Varide recruited him. Nineteen when he broke with the guy. Varide put a kid into combat, left him with massive PTSD, then ditched him when he had a breakdown and went too far. Mx Frantique at least made sure he had a safe place to stay and some therapy.”

“It’s happened a few times.” Knuckles rested his elbows on the cart’s handles, his inhumanly big, strong hands dangling. “But there’s a process. A system. If someone’s sponsored by a villain in good standing, like Frantique sponsoring Tenbrous, they can be accepted. Nobody gets to just choose to join. Especially not a smug, entitled prick like Superdyne.”

Ms Fedorova suddenly leaned forward, scowling. “And why are you called Dinoid? You are not dinosaur. You are clearly monitor lizard. Golden monitor, I think.” She reached out and prodded his arm. “And not healthy, either. Look at colouration! You do not keep environment humid enough. Are having trouble with shedding, da?”

Now we were all staring at her. “You’re a lizard expert now?” Knuckles asked.

She shrugged. “What? Is hobby. Mamma’s little Varanus Acanthurus are pride and joy. Sadly, cannot keep larger monitors in city. Is unkind.”

Dinoid ran a hand over his head slowly. “Not many people realize,” he said slowly. “That’s why I order from you guys. I used to get frozen… food… from a pet supplier, but then I got contacted by someone who told me there was another option.”

“Is good thing. Those pet suppliers, they are rogues. They do not keep animals healthy, can get diseases or mites from those things.” Ms Fedorova sniffed. “I would never buy from them. My babies would get sick.”

He actually chuckled, then, seeming to relax a bit. “You’re not wrong. After… this happened… I got really sick a couple of times before I figured out what to eat, and where to get it. And even the reputable suppliers don’t always have the healthiest stock.” He opened his mouth wide, making a gagging noise. “You have no idea how bad that ‘reptile food’ is. Eating whole animals may be a little disgusting, but it’s nothing to some of that stuff.”

“I believe it,” I said emphatically. “There’s a reason Evil-Mart has such an extensive pet-food line. The horror stories we hear from some of our customers… well, you’d believe it, I bet, but most humans just look confused.”

Knuckles nodded, and spread his hands. “People who can’t pass for regular humans… or even for people, the way most normies see it… are a lot more common on our side of the fence than yours. That’s why we delivered to you. We figured you really needed it.”

“Does he order from the pharmacy?” Ms Fedorova was around behind him now, examining his back. “He is having calcium deficiency, am betting. He needs nutritional supplement.”

“I take a nutritional supplement,” he said defensively.

“The one for normal-sized lizards is not enough for man-sized monitor/human hybrid,” she said firmly. “Check pharmacy section next time. We are having excellent selection of supplements for hybrids, and chart to tell you how much to take for body-mass.”

He looked back and forth between the three of us. “You people are… not what I would have expected from an evil supermarket.”

“We may be… morally challenged,” I said, shrugging, “but we’re not heartless.” I looked around his tiny, shabby apartment. “Unlike some of your lot. I thought you were on a team. Why are you living here?”

He ducked his head. “I couldn’t live at the base,” he said, his tail drooping. “My… I made people uncomfortable. And the stipend isn’t much.”

“Isn’t much? With the merchandising deals they have?” Ms Fedorova sounded shocked, and the accent had dropped back a lot. “I know for a fact that if the accountants ever got hold of their books they’d owe more in back taxes than… well, than Evil-Mart would if our illegal product arm ever got discovered. And we pay our taxes on the legitimate stuff scrupulously.”

Dinoid blinked rapidly, though I couldn’t tell whether he was more surprised by her suddenly dropping her act or the idea that Evil-Mart pays taxes. “You do?”

“Of course. Not under that name, of course, there’s a shell company.” She sniffed. “All villains do. Al Capone, you know. We’re not getting caught that way again.”

Knuckles and I both nodded when he looked at us, and he shook his head. “Huh. Makes sense, I guess.”

“It does.” I looked around again. The place really was crappy. “I know it’s a personal question, Mr… West, but under the circumstances I’d like to know… how much is that stipend?”

He looked down at the floor for a while, then cleared his throat. “Uh. $1100 a month.”

We all stared at him. Ms Fedorova’s mouth fell open. Knuckles looked shocked, and I was horrified. “$1100 a month?!” I asked, my voice coming out louder than I’d intended. “For risking your life on a superhero team?! I have teenaged cashiers working part-time who make more than that!”

He looked almost as startled as we did. “For working a cash register?!”

“Evil-Mart pays pretty good.” Knuckles shrugged. “But that stipend is disgusting.”

“You are being exploited,” Ms Fedorova said, sounding really aghast. “That is terrible. Why, baseline henchman pay is twice that, and there are danger bonuses and…” Her voice dropped suddenly. “You don’t have a union, do you?”

“A union? Of course we don’t have a…” He trailed off. “You mean you do?”

“Of course we do. An extremely well-armed one.” Ms Fedorova folded her arms. “Henchmen And Allied Industries has represented us for generations. The last time a supervillain executed a union henchman for failure, he was boiled in oil… literally. On camera. Oh, of course some of the less reputable villains just pick up small-time trash from the streets, untrained rabble from the gangs and so on, so they can treat them as disposable, but we union members are skilled workers, with rights and protections. I bet you don’t even get overtime.”

“Of course not. Crime happens when it happens, and we have to…” He trailed off. “You guys get overtime?”

“We’re getting double time and a half for this conversation. And an extra day off.”

His eyes widened again. “Really? Wow, that’s… even when I was working a regular job, before this, I didn’t get pay like that.” He looked down at his hands and bared his teeth in what looked like an unhappy expression. “And now I can’t work anything but this kind of job. People don’t like having a scary dinosaur in their restaurant.”

There was a long pause.

“You can cook?” Ms Fedorova asked carefully.

“Yeah. I worked in my parents’ restaurant before… this.” He gestured at himself. “They were killed when we were attacked, and I was… changed.”

We all looked at each other. “After you’ve returned Superdyne’s remains to whoever you consider appropriate,” I said, grabbing a notepad and scribbling down my number, “I’d like you to give me a call. Evil-Mart is always hiring in the bakery and deli, and I mean always. Most bad guys aren’t great cooks. We don’t know why, it just seems to be one of those things.”

“You want me to join the bad guys?”

“I want you to work in a bakery. Villains and henchmen need to eat, and so do their families. Nobody’s going to ask you to rip superheroes in half, just maybe make a sandwich that won’t give anyone food poisoning.”

“That’s a regular concern?”

“Six months ago the three of us ran Evil-Mart’s physical store completely unassisted for most of a day because the only people who weren’t down with food poisoning were the ones who’d had the vegetarian and kosher meals.” I shuddered at the recollection. “Trust me. Someone who can cater staff functions without a major disaster would never have to live in an apartment like this working for us.”

“And we get full benefits, including dental.” Knuckles was shaking his head. “I bet you don’t even get hospital.”

“What hospital would take me? I always figured I’d go to the zoo and talk to the vet if – “

Ms Fedorova actually put her arms around him. “You,” she told him firmly, “are going to resign your terrible exploitative job, and then I will personally sponsor you to the union immediately. I have a spare room. You will like it. Humidity and temperature can be set just how you like, and Mamma Yelena will take you to real doctor expert in health of hybrids.”

“Those exist?” he asked, sounding a bit overwhelmed.

“Yeah, the Genetic Reign has like three of them,” I said sympathetically. “Listen, you can take some time to think it over, but you don’t have to put up with this kind of exploitation just because you don’t look human. Nearly a third of Evil-Mart’s staff can’t pass, and they’re treated just like everyone else.”

Superdyne’s dramatic demise got a lot of news coverage. Apparently it came as a real shock to the ‘good guys’ that there were some monsters even the superest villains wouldn’t embrace.

Dinoid no longer exists. Ismail Jameel works at Evil-Mart, and has expanded our fresh food lines a lot already. He’s a nice guy, and after Ms Fedorova told everyone how disgustingly he’d been exploited by those so-called ‘heroes’, he was welcomed with open arms. Literally, in at least one case – he’s dating someone from the warehouse, I’ve heard, though I don’t know who. He says we should rename the store, because we suck at being evil.

But evil is a really relative term. It can mean the blackest depravity, or a moment of viciousness, or even just ‘people on the other side’. Evil-Mart is called that because everyone, at least everyone on our side, is welcome. Plus, we all think it’s funny that the least-evil megacorporation is called ‘Evil-Mart’. What can we say? Bad guys have a sense of humour too.

Have an evil day!

[youngstarfishphilosopher]

Smoke and Mirrors

Yandere Two-Face X Oblivious Spouse Reader

(This one shot is based off the song Smoke and Mirrors. Warning: Mentions of kidnapping, being held at gunpoint, implied murder, extremely unhealthy behavior. )

You had always been known to see the good in everyone. It was one of the many things that Harvey loved about you.

Even from a young age, you had always had a good heart and always thought the best of the world,which is hard when you live in the hellhole known a Gotham City.

Although Gotham had taken away some of the innocent ways you view the world, the city never completely got rid of your optimistic and loving personality.And Harvey loved it.

The older you and Harvey got, the more he was certain he wanted to marry you. The first time he ever asked you out he was a nervous wreak. But he was overjoyed when you said yes.

After a while of dating, you decided to make your relationship official and go married two years later. Although life wasn't perfect, the two of you were happy with each other.

You worked as a kindergarten teacher while Harvey was pretty big on politics,mayors,law, and all the really random boring stuff you didn't have any interest in. But it made Harvey happy, so you were more than accepting of his interests.

Everything felt perfect. . . until it wasn't.

That one fateful day were everything in your life changed. You had been just finishing up with your shift when you got a call from the hospital.

"Hello?" You asked raising the phone up to your ear.

"Hello, Is this Y/N Dent?"

"Yes, this is. Can I help you."

You were still in the middle of your shift. So you assume that the person on the phone was one of the children's gaurdian.

Oh, how wrong you were.

"I'm one of the doctors from ________ hospital. I am calling to inform you that you husband has been in an accident."

You froze all in hearing those words. An accident? What kind of accident? Is he hurt? Is he DEAD?

"Hello?"

You snapped out of your shock when you heard the woman speak again. "Are you still there?"

"Y-yeah." You respond, your voice full of worry. "I'm still here."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Harvey hated how he looked now. He had never been the same since that mob boss splashed acid on his face. He thought that once you saw his face, you would leave him forever, disgusted by the man you had once married.

But you... Oh sweet and kind you, stayed.

Even when Twoface came along, even with the switching and colliding personalities, even with the violent outbursts, you never gave up on him.

They both started growing obsessed, possessive,unstable. They made sure to keep there criminal activities out of your knowledge and leave you oblivious to the fact that they had been making the other people closest to you drop like flies.

This included Twoface. In all honesty, you didn't actually know about Twoface. Harvey just always played it off as him just having a really bad day whenever Twoface came through.

Neither of them could stand how some people, especially your co-workers, would look at you. How you were oblivious to the fact that so many of them wanted you for themselves.

They Despised it. How you never knew how much you had been hurting them. How you always gave those good for nothing meat sacks your attention.

Just who do you think you are to go and do something like that? Don't you know that you belong to them? Your THEIR spouse!

They would always come home annoyed and angry at those co-workers of yours. And at you sometimes as well.But you would always start acting all innocent and concerned,so they couldn't really stay mad at you for long. Harvey would just brush you off and say he had a rough day.

Twoface wanted to confront you head on. Show you a little murder or two and put it into your sweet little head that you can't go around doing something like that.

Harvey was opposed to the idea at first. Until one day he couldn't take it anymore. Two-face's idea had begun to sound extremely appeasing.

Especially because of one co-worker you had seemed to become attached to. They decided that they would be the perfect person for your punishment.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Your head spun in a daze as you opened your eyes. You awoke finding yourself tied to a chair in a room you were unfamiliar with. As your eyesight started to clear up, you noticed two other figures in the room.

You soon recognized them. One of them was your husband, and the other one was your co-worker. The co-worker that was like a best friend to you.

You starred in horror as you watch your friend , who was bound, blindfolded and gagged immediately receive a slap across their face by your husband.

"Stop struggling!"

"H-harv..."

You were terrified as you watched the man you loved hurt your best friend. He had never acted this way before. It was almost as if he wasn't your husband at all.

He immediately turned to you with a scowl on his face once he heard the sound of your voice . "Well, Well, Well. look who finally decided to wake up frome their beauty rest."

Your fear soon turned into anger one you had came back to your senses.

"W-what... Just what the hell is wrong with you?! What on earth did you do to them!?"

"Harvey's" eyes darkened at your outburst. As he walked up to you , regret seeped through you.

"Harvey" roughly grabbed you by your shoulders and lifted you and the chair you were tied to slightly off the ground to reach his face, making you let out a small wimper.

"Don't you dare raise your voice at me Y/N!" He snapped, holding your shoulders so hard that you started to think he was going to break them.

"Harv! S-stop it, your hurting me!" You wined. You then let out a small yelp as he immediately dropped you and almost made you fall over in your chair in the process.

"Hate to break it to ya sweetheart, but I ain't Harvey." Twoface said as he pulled out a pistol from its holder. That immediately shut you up. He took immediate notice of this.

Straddling himself onto your lap he raised the pistol to your chin and forced you to look up at him. Although his eyes were dark and bloodthirsty, they had a glint of amusement in them as well.

"Listen up darling." Twoface whispered into your ear. "Me and you are going to play a little game. And maybe, just maybe, I'll let that little home wreaker go free. How does that sound?"

You look past him to your friend. What other choice did you have? You couldn't just let your friend die.

Giving a satisfied smirk when you slowly nodded, Twoface put his pistol back into the holster. Now resting his arms on the top back of the chair, he sat there looking down on you.

"First things first, I want you to tell me that you love us."

"W-what?" You asked confused. "I don't un-"

"I know you heard me!" Twoface snaped. "Look me in my eyes and tell me that you love us!"

Flinching slightly from his out burst you took took a small pause before mumbling "I love you."

Twoface was getting aggravated at this point. "You and I both know that you can do better then that Y/N." He said now leaning even closer to you which made you extremely uncomfortable. "Lets try that again sweetheart, and this time, act like you mean it."

Taking a deep breath look looked up into the man's eyes and calmly stated the words that he so desperately wanted to hear. "I love you darling."

Twoface let out a small chuckle. "See, that wasn't so hard, now was it?"

You didn't say anything.

"The next thing I want you to do." He states, getting even closer to your face."Is give us a kiss."

Wanting to get this whole game of his over with you immediately smashed your lips into his. Twoface responded by kissing back even harder as he roughly grabbed the sides of your head to bring you in closer.

He made sure that the kisses happened for as long as possible.

It soon got to the point were he would move away from your lips ,for your neck, and then move back to your lips again.

Once he was satisfied with all the hickeys he had given you, he pulled away slowly, leaving a taste of blood and copper on your lips.

He was able to quickly compose himself before going to the last part in his little "game".

Getting off your lap, Twoface reached into his pocket and pulled out a shiny metal coin.

" You should know that this last little part of my game darling, is a game I like to call Heads or Tails."

Your heart sank into your chest. You had a feeling that you knew exactly where this was going.

"Here is how this is going to work. If The coin lands on the clean side, then I'll let your so-called friend go. If lands on the scratched side, then I pump them full of lead."

"W-wha-"

Before you could get a word in, he threw the coin into the air. As it gently fell back into his palm, he slapped the coin onto his other hand and reviled it to be . . .

Scratched.

Ignoring all of your begging and pleading, Twoface immediately pulled the pistol back out from its holster, and headed towards his hostage.

Ripping the gag off their mouth, you could hear small relived breaths.

Tears started to stream from your eyes as you kept on pleading to no avail. You then watched Twoface raise the gun to their forehead.

Then . . .

The sound of a gunshot fires.

You just sat there in shock. You tried to speak, but no words seemed to come out.

Harvey had now taken over as the two of them walked back over to you.

Sitting back onto your lap, he placked his head comfortably onto your shoulder.

You wanted to yell at him. Punch him. Kick him. Run away. But for some reason, you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

"Please don't be sad love." Harvey lovingly whispered into your ear. "We just couldn't take it anymore."

Sitting back upright, Harvey gently wiped the tear that had trickled down your face.

" Their not in the way anymore s-so just. . . " His voice now sounded desperate. "Please say that you'll stay with us. . . We love you so so much, darling. "

[senselessalchemist]

semi-final roleswap au beheaded concept (aka 'the merchant'). this took a stupidly long time. (also i had Plans to do a very sketchy comic but my hand is killing me so not today)

readmore for very vague ideas and game spoilers

something something the king working more directly/intimately with the alchemist. ostensibly trying to help find a cure/treatment/whatnot but also trying to find a way to save himself/loved ones. ends up going too far and getting... well... beheaded-ified. unsure if homunculi-fied or not.

something something before that point the alchemist (in this universe, more principled and less "ends justify the means") refuses to continue various lines of research on moral grounds and stops working with the king, who decides to go ahead anyway because desperation and etc.

but doesn't have the knowledge/training to address the problem he's created, and the alchemist will not aide him (sacrifice too great, innocent people hurt, maybe is pursuing something he considers promising) and things fall apart.

timeline/events fuzzy but basically i think the idea is that cells are the answer/an answer -> the person who has the know-how to actually do the thing is the alchemist -> the king does something to affect the alchemist's memories -> alchemist ends up in similarly "dumped into events of game" situation -> runs into a friendly merchant whose goals are A) cells and B) to befriend the alchemist (in order to obtain his help) -> [various game events, also finding own journals/etc., start to piece together some stuff, maybe start to mistrust the merchant, info from bosses, etc.] -> final boss fight where the merchant requests help, alchemist probably refuses based on gathered info (or maybe a choice? iunno) and something like "if you won't help me then i'll just kill you"

and there could be some fun angst re: "we used to be friends or at least circumstances forced us to work closely together in an extremely stressful situation and we know a lot about each other and also we maybe became friends a second time throughout this journey but then i found out you caused my problems in the first place and just wanted to use me for my knowledge and that's a lot to deal with and now i'm fuckin' pissed and i really kind of want to kill you" from the alchemist and "we used to be friends or at least you helped me but then you refused when it mattered most (and i probably don't deal well with rejection) and i had to do all of this shit for the possibility of your help and you still won't just fucking help me even now and if that's the case you might as well just die (but also i probably feel conflicted because even though it was on false pretenses we did become friends)" from the king and then they kiss

problem is of course you probably don't want to cause memory issues for the one person who has the knowledge that you need but maybe it's a "i have no other choice" kind of situation for the king (maybe alchemist threatened something drastic?) and it was that or nothing.

obviously there's issues with this in a gameplay sense as well but then there's issues in regular vanilla dead cells as well going from 5bc to anything else so fuck it, who cares. narrative and gameplay don't necessarily match up well. (i really don't know why i'm structuring this around gameplay when it's an au and i could just do whatever but i guess that's just how it be in my brain.)

speaking of gameplay. while it could be restrictive compared to the range of weapons you get normally i do like the idea of roleswap au!collector's moveset being based on his boss moveset, but with some expansions. so you'd start off with super basic like syringe 3-hit light-light-heavy attack pattern and maybe the ability to throw fireballs or something. you would upgrade the syringe using cells (maybe could do like one of three paths mimicking the brutality/tactics/survival split) and also your magic skills, allowing the laser attack, summoning mobs, etc. also might could change the element of the magic, have fire as the default but also have options to switch to poison or electric or ice or something. also i'd limit it to 2 of the however many "magic" things he can do (lumping everything that's not basically "stab with the syringe" into one category here), so you could do like fireballs and mob summoning but not laser, or whatever.

completely ??? about how the respawn mechanic would work. very rough ideas include some sort of memory collection (of course injected into a body -- new body? -- via syringe because that would be thematically appropriate and i have been listening to the new season of dungeons and daddies, but otherwise i got nothin'. except that maybe the tutorial knight would be the one to resurrect you each time.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(apparently i spent roughly 45 minutes writing this up, good lord, why did it take so long)

[coolcattime]

Heyo its me the usual anon here with a mianite au

Mianite noir. S1 tucker is a PI a bit rough and a complete downer who has a bitter view of the world but more often than not takes on difficult or dangerous cases that the mostly corrupt police force wont. He's often wears a symbol of mianite on his neck under his shirt so that it's pressed against his chest. His weapon of choice is a white and blue revolver that never seems to tun out of amno, and he often spends his sober days in the local mianite church praying some long forgotten sins away.

Sonja is a cop, a fresh recruit bright eyed and hoping to help people she is quickly finding out about the rot and corruption deeply embedded in the force. She often works with tucker in solving cases using insider knowledge only the police force is privvy to. The longer she works in the force the more her positivity and hope is sapped away and she often times finds herself considering taking bribes under the table or ignoring the many injustices infront of her. She used to attend service at the mianite temple often but now rarely goes instead confiding in a friend of hers. She has a white and blue pistol for a weapon but if you pay close attention when she shoots the gun the smoke lingers for a moment wrapping around the barrel and almost reaches her hand but always fades away before making it that far.

Tom, is a mafia boss, he runs the underworld and encourages the rampant crime in the city buying off the police and visciously attacking rival gangs. He's considered a mysterious figure in the underworld with roomers being He's an invincible monster with people pumping hundreds of rounds of ammo into his chest and him walking it off and killing them. Mostly everyone fears him. He has a tattoo of the mark of dianite on his chest, he has an all black tommy gun that shoots flaming bullets but, his true weapon is a bowie knife that has a crimson red hilt a serrated edge and a arcane looking markings on it. Very few have managed to survive against him when he weilds it. His base is an abandoned church in the center of the industrial district of the city

Jordan is a bartender. Well he owns the bar and works the counter. His place is a no fighting zone so most people no matter what side they're on drink here cops, mobsters, petty criminals, and pi's because of his bartending he is always pretty up to date on roomers or the situation of the city which can be a tempting prospect. There are many roomers surrounding him, that every mob boss in the city fears him, that the police would rather not look into the shady aspects of his business model. He takes one day a week off where he heads into the woods some claim that they see foxes coming out of the forest to greet him and lead him further into it some who said they followed him deep into the woods say that he worships a mostly forgotten goddess. His weapon of choice is a riffle that he keeps under his bar, the metal is a dull shade of purple. He is also quite proficient with his hands wearing a set of amethyst and emerald rings on his hands that make his hits devastating.

Okay, I love all of this. Like I love this so so much. I love the idea of a noir but also magical world, I think the concepts combine really well as magic but in a very gritty messed up world is always interesting. In order to keep my brain straight, this is gonna go: discussing characters you've presented, adding a few more, and then a little plot.

Tucker as the cynical PI is such a good take. A kind of light in the darkness of a corrupt system, but he definitely doesn't see himself that way. I love the idea of his revolver, guns that don't seem to run out of ammo are always very fun to me especially revolvers since you should be able to clearly see the amount of ammo they have.

Sonja as the slowly fading optimist is so good. Her being a cop attempting to avoid corruption is really fun, especially as I imagine it adds some conflict to her interactions with Tucker. I also really like the way her canon turning to the shadows is here both with her slowly losing her faith in Mianite and smoke from her gun literally trying to reach out to her.

1000% yes to Mafia boss Tom. I love everything you've written from the general mysteries around him, to his weapons, to his base being in an abandoned church. He's the exact thing that Tucker and Sonja want to take down, but also a very useful ally if he's on your side.

I love the idea of Jordan and his safe haven bar. It works really well for him as being a person who shouldn't be dangerous but really is because of his position which provides him with a lot of information. I also love him closing to bar to go worship Ianite, that's such a good vibe. I also love his weapons, especially as I imagine there's stories of him using them when someone tries to break the no fights in the bar.

For a couple of my own character ideas:

Capsize is basically a black market seller/information broker. Redbeard seems to be her bodyguard, but people who actually know Capsize contest the idea what she would need one. She trades mostly out of a warehouse on the docks, though she'll trade smaller items and information from a backroom of Jordan's bar just for the safety. She has a pretty good relationship with Tom who she'll trade quite a lot with, respects Tucker despite their opposing places in the world, and she'll tolerate Jordan because of the bar, the fact her brother likes him, and the worshipping of the same forgotten goddess. She's very close with Sonja, but hides her job since she doesn't want Sonja to pick between her and her morales. Her weapon is a pistol which feels like it packs more of a punch than it reasonably should. Redbeard has a shotgun which doesn't have much special about it and seems mostly for show.

Furia is a serial killer, looming on the backdrop and creating crime scenes that look like sacrifices to Dianite. He isn't known to the public, most people thinking his crimes are done by Tom. (Look he's more here as a backdrop for my plot idea)

A small idea for a plot:

People are going missing in the city, turning up a couple weeks later killed in murder scenes arranged to look like sacrifices to Dianite. Despite the fear that's spreading, police aren't fully investigating as the believe they're being committed by Tom, an infamous Mafia boss, on his own underlings for betraying him. These murders are being investigated by Tucker aided by Sonja who has been getting him the official reports, however under investigated the cases are.

One evening, about a week after the last murder, they head to Jordan's bar hoping to buy some information. When they get there, Capsize isn't in, though Tom is who quickly goes to annoy them under the freedom of the no fight rule and Jordan carefully watching. This doesn't last very long as Capsize bursts in, jacket ripped and shoulder bleeding, and almost immediately tries to pin Tom against the wall and threaten him. She's dragged to the backroom by Jordan, who's both annoyed and apologetic, but not before she manages to get out that one of 'Tom's Dianite worshipping idiots' jumped her and kidnapped Redbeard. Tom has no idea what she's talking about, but Tucker and Sonja realise the very real possibility that Redbeard has been taken by the serial killer. And five being pulled into a desperate investigation to uncover the serial killer before they claim another victim.

[late-to-the-party-81]

I have no idea if your comfy with drags but I would like to request a Drag queen AU where Peter is a drag queen and captures the attention of mob boss tony

Hit me with your best shot

AN: Thanks for his my lovely nonnie. We all know that Peter can rock the drag look after Tom's stunning turn on Lip Synch Battle - that video still makes me feel all funny inside. And let's face it, canon Tony is only a few steps away from being a mob boss anyway.

I don't know why this song came into my head, but there we go.

Not Beta'd

Divider by @firefly-graphics, mood board by me..

Please check out my master list

Tag lists open.

Word Count: 2.4k

Pairing: Drag Queen! Peter x Mob! Tony

CW: Power imbalance, age gap (Peter mid 20's, Tony 40's), some swearing, inferred danger (cos you know, mob AU)

“...and I can’t believe the boss got bought out. He loved this place.”

“I know, it’s all so havey-cavey, like do we know anything about the new owner?”

“Only that he’s loaded and may have… you know… some ‘ties’...”

Peter listened to his co-workers gossip as he got ready for his shift. He already had his hairnet on, holding his unruly curls out of the way, before smoothing down his eye-brows with a glue stick and starting the long task of applying foundation. Practice had taught him that if he got this stage right, the rest of his make-up would fall into place, as it were. He was also blessed with lovely cheekbones, even if he said so himself, which meant that he could cut down on the amount of contouring.

After sorting out the base layer, he carefully painted his eyebrows back in, slicked on his eyeliner and attached his false eyelashes. A hint of blush, and a sinfully red lipstick completed the first part of his façade.

Moving over to his clothing rail, he shifted hangers along and he pondered his outfit for the night, before making his selection. He slid the purposely ripped, black stockings up his legs, smoothing out the fabric so it wasn’t baggy anywhere, and slid his feet into black, suede ankle boots. He stepped into the black leather, fringed skirt, that only just skimmed his ass, before grabbing the matching bustier.

He looked over his shoulder at one of the others.

“A little help, babe?”

Jade smiled, all black, slicked hair, and green & gold eye make-up, before they sashayed over and started to lace Peter up. Before it was tightened fully, Peter grabbed his breast forms and popped them in place, the fabric of the bustier helping to hold them steady.

“Looking good, little P, hope the new boss enjoys,” Jade purred, before going back to their own preparations, some kind of gold and paste-emerald encrusted leather armour thing going on.

Peter grabbed his 80’s style leather jacket, and slung it on, before picking up the last part of his persona; his wig. The same colour and texture of his own hair, just longer, and bigger. A riot of dark chocolate curls that came down past his shoulders and swayed perfectly when he strutted.

He put it on, and looked in the mirror. Penny Darker, drag-queen extraordinaire looked back.

Grabbing his vodka and soda, he knocked it back, like he did before every show. The warm-up act had finished and it was almost his turn.

Peter had been working at The Sword and Shield club for just over a year, starting as a bartender just to make some cash, before the queens had taken him under their collective wings. He’d known he was gay since his mid-teens, but something about this environment just allowed him to come to grips with himself like in no way before. It wasn’t long before he was helping the girls get ready, running errands, tightening corsets, fixing crooked wigs and then, before he knew it, they were fixing him up with their cast offs and getting him to do the warm-up act.

He’d loved it, feeling alive and in control, and even more to his surprise, the patrons, and the boss, had loved it as well. Okay, Mr Hammer made him feel a bit ‘icky’ whenever he’d looked at Peter, but apparently he wasn’t going to have that problem anymore.

At some point over the weekend the club, and apparently all of Justin’s assets, had been, wel, seized; appropriated, by someone unnamed, but who the rumour mill was equal parts in awe of and scared of. All the staff, from the top Queen, Starlight, down to the pot washer, Kevin, were wondering if the new owner was going to show tonight, to check on his ‘investment’.

“Hey! Miss P, you’re on in five!.”

Peter was dragged out of his thoughts by Clint, the stage hand.

“Any colour in your lights this evening?”

“No thanks, Clint, just plain lights, but maybe throw some flashes and things in, yeah? You know the song.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.”

He climbed back up into his booth, where he queued the music and sorted the lighting rig. Peter started to bounce up on the balls of his toes and shook out his arms before doing a few warm up stretches. He ran through the song in his head. He already knew it like the back of his hand, but the key to a good performance was flawless lip-syncing.

He was so involved with his prep, just off stage, that he didn’t notice the quiet commotion out front, a susurration that whipped around the main lounge as a dark haired man in an exquisite suit walked in, flanked by two men who could only be described as body-guards. The patrons at the centre front table were quickly moved, much to their disappointment, before the be-suited man took his seat, a tumbler of whiskey appearing as if by magic. His guards remained standing at the back, where they had a full view of the front-of-house.

“Ladies, Gentlemen, and everything in between, the Sword and Shield Club is proud to present, the Queen from Queens, Miss Penny Darker!”

Clint’s voice came out over the tannoy, as he dimmed the house lights and focussed the main spots on centre stage. Peter took a deep breath and swayed out onto the boards as the music started, his lips moving in perfect time.

You're a real tough cookie

With a long history

Of breaking little hearts like the one in me

That's okay, lets see how you do it

Put up your dukes, let's get down to it

The drums kicked in and he popped his hips back and forth in time before starting to dance with more vigour.

Hit me with your best shot

Why don't you hit me with your best shot

Hit me with your best shot

Fire away

Peter spotted the man at the front table, someone he didn’t recognise, but anyone who sat at the front of a drag show knew what they were getting into. He dropped to his knees on the edge of the stage and crooked finger at the man, who smiled coyly in return.

You come on with the come on

You don't fight fair

That's okay, see if I care!

Knock me down, it's all in vain

I get right back up on my feet again!

Peter jumped back onto his feet, glad he hadn’t gone with heels too tall, and pulled finger guns at the guy, winking at him, before turning his attention to the other nearby tables and giving them the finger guns too.

Hit me with your best shot

Why don't you hit me with your best shot

Hit me with your best shot

Fire away

He dropped down from the stage and swayed across the space to perch on the front table, taking the mystery man’s tie in his hands and toying with it.

You're a real tough cookie with a long history

Of breaking little hearts like the one in me

Before I put another notch in my lipstick case

You better make sure you put me in my place!

Peter reached out and ruffled the guy’s hair, before dancing away, around the near-by space, popping his hips and throwing his hands up in the air as the song went to its finale.

Hit me with your best shot...

C'mon!

Hit me with your best shot...

Hit me with your best shot

Fire away!

Hit me with your best shot

Why don't you hit me with your best shot

Hit me with your best shot

Fire away

As the song faded out, he danced off, heading backstage by the curtain that was out on the main floor, looking back over his shoulder and aiming another wink at the main table.

He walked back past Clint throwing him a grin, but was taken aback by the shocked look on the stage-hands face.

“What? I thought that went really well. The new face seemed to like it.”

“Um, kid, I think that might be our new boss. Came in with a couple of heavies whilst you were prepping.” Peter’s eyes went wide.

“What?” His voice came out like a squeak. “Fuck, I just embarrassed myself, didn’t I?”

“As you said, he seemed to like it. At least he got to find out first hand what our customer service is like. That’s gotta be good, yeah?”

Peter’s shoulders slumped - just what he needed. Bloody Parker luck!

“Thanks for your hard work Clint. I’ll see you in a bit at the bar once I’ve de-frocked.”

He headed back to the dressing room, trying, and failing, not to overthink. He barely registered the air kisses and shoulder pats from the others as they congratulated him on his performance, just glad he wasn’t scheduled to floor walk this evening. Scott, the manager, knew he had college on Tuesday mornings, and Monday wasn’t a busy night, so let Peter come in, do his one contracted performance and then head out. He made up for it by floor-walking on both Friday and Saturday nights, unless it was his one-scheduled weekend off every six weeks.

Peter sat down at his dressing table, and dragged the wig off his head, placing it on it’s stand. Reaching around behind him, he loosened the strings on his bustier, so he could breathe and move better, before peeling off his lashes and throwing them in the bin. With the most uncomfortable parts of his outfit dealt with, he took a moment to sit, sipping on the new vodka and soda that was waiting for him and letting the familiar sounds of the room wash over him.

The relative peace only lasted a minute before the sound of clomping footsteps rang out and all the queens turned round to look. The two large men who’d come in with the new boss strode into the dressing room, their size imposing as they took up most of the small space.

“Alright, ladies. Everyone, except Miss Darker, out,” barked the blond of the pair. Jade turned and gave Peter a sympathetic look and an affectionate squeeze, before walking out with the others, hips swaying and glaring at the two goons. Peter sighed, and picked up his holdall, starting to sweep all his make-up and jewellery into it, barely registering that the two bodyguards had left the room to stand just outside the door.

“Make sure we’re not disturbed.”

“Right you are, boss.”

The door closed and Peter swivelled on his stool to regard the man he’d been flirting with during his performance. Without the stage lights in his eyes, he could get a better look at him. Tall, although nowhere near the height of his bodyguards, the man walked into the room with the air of a man who knows his importance and wants to make sure others know it as well. His suit, a dark grey, was perfectly tailored to fit. His brown hair, a few shades darker than Peter’s own, was immaculately styled, and his beard, moustache and goatee were trimmed into the sharpest lines. It was his eyes, however, which drew all focus. Dark and intense, there was no way to look away from them, and the way the man kept his gaze on Peter made the young man just want to sink to his knees.

“And what do I call you when you aren’t in your persona?”

Peter gaped like a fish, running the palm of his right hand down his skirt, before realising how ineffectual that was when wearing leather, and grabbed his towel, drying his sweaty hand that way, before thrusting it out.

“Um, Parker. Peter Parker.”

The man’s lips quirked up at the corners, but he kept his own hands in his pockets.

“You’re a talented young man. Good looking too. You may have guessed by now that I’m your new boss…”

“Yes, and I’m terribly sorry if I embarrassed you sir, it’s just you were sitting at the front and…”

Two strides and the man was in front of Peter, his hand coming out of his pocket, silencing with a finger across his lips.

“I wasn’t embarrassed. Not at all.” The man’s hand shifted to cup Peter’s cheek and the young queen’s eyes fluttered, heat zipping through his body. “You intrigue me, Mr Parker, as no-one has in a while, and I find I want to know you better; find out who you are under all that pan-stick.” His other hand slid down Peter’s ribcage to settle just above his hip. “Would you like to know me better, Peter?” He lowered his head, plump lips almost brushing against Peter’s jaw, breathing in the hitched breath. “I could be good to you, baby boy. Would you like that?”

Peter couldn’t hold back the small needy whine. There was something about this man, his aura, his charisma. He exuded power and danger, but oh, Peter was ready to risk it all, just to be close to him. The man’s fingers were almost burning him where they rested against his body, his hot breath imbuing Peter with life where it ghosted against him. Peter swayed, his hands reaching out for the man’s jacket to steady himself.

Then, suddenly, his new boss took a step back. Peter caught himself on the edge of his dressing table, eyes snapping open. They met a dark pair of mischievous ones, and it took him a moment to realise he was being handed a small card. He took it, without looking, and clutched it to his chest, which was heaving under his breast forms.

“Give me a call, sweetheart, but don’t make me wait too long. I don’t like waiting.” With that, the man turned on his heels and headed out of the door.

Peter looked down at the card in his hand, aroused and confused. It took a moment for his eyes to focus, but when they did he dropped down onto his stool in shock. He read the card, over and over, each time thinking that it might say something different; but it didn’t.

His new boss, the man who had basically propositioned him, was Tony Stark, head of the local mafia; a man not to be underestimated or crossed under any circumstances. Rich, powerful and not above getting his hands dirty to make a statement.

Fuck!

What was he going to do now?

Starker Tag list: @ilikestarker @mrs-mischief-209 @marvelstarker-mha98

[sur-un-fil]

Some of BATIM's Alternate Universes (AU)

( The English version, let's go!)

Uptate: 23/03/2021

⦁ Abomination, @halfusek : (practically finished). One main comic "Abomination" HERE, other small ones here and there and two linked accounts: Magenta (a kind of ask-Joey) and the same for Henry: Marshmallow. -> The Abomination comic in a few words: "prequel" of the game, where we discover the installation of the Ink Machine, the various attempts at creations of cartoons and the descent into hell (and especially the madness) of the main character , Mister Drew himself.

⦁ The Illusion of living, @waruihoshi : (finished but possibly reworked). A main comic HERE, as well as some gifs and animatics. -> The story in a few words: a "prequel" also, but where we find a well-intentioned Joey who tries to find the happiness he has lost.

⦁ New soul, Elwensa (in progress) A magnificent comic book, which can also be found on DA, HERE -> In a few words (IFW): Henry manages to break the cycle and "bring back" Bendy. They are looking together for a way out of the Studio.

⦁ Toon Henry, @hailo-c: (finished / abandoned) A collection of small comics that begin a story, which can be found together on Pixiv HERE. The author is also at the origin - if I am not mistaken - of some animations, of which that of "Welcome Home". -> IFW: What if Henry becomes a toon and Joey has brainwashed Bendy ?

⦁ Robberhose, @yunisverse : (finished) A nice series of comics and some fics, of which the masterpost can be found HERE. -> IFW: Henry, corrupted by the ink, becomes a toon and tries to get out of the Studio. Based in part on the script, this is a really nice AU who develops some very interesting ideas.

⦁ Sammy and the Ink Machine, @nayialovecat : (in progress): A series of mini-comics centered around Sammy. Other series are in preparation, including a prequel "Before Henry". To be found mainly on DA, HERE. I am translating them :) -> IFW: we mostly follow Sammy, Bendy and Henry in a Studio stuck in chapter 2. A lot, but then a lot of humor: we have a Sammy, adoring his "lord" like a 13-year-old girl adores a boy singer -band, a Bendy who tries to avoid him and who finds that his life sucks a lot, and a more or less disillusioned Henry who tries to survive as best he can.

⦁ 2D Bendy, @shinyzango  : (finished, evolved into something else) Some comics, some UA fanarts. HERE -> IFW: Henry has managed to recover a "living" drawing of Bendy and tries with him to survive his other demonic versions.

⦁ Hell's Studio, @doodledrawsthings : (more or less finished) A series of drawings and comics HERE, three great animatics on Youtubes (but I do not believe that the designer is the owner) -> IFW: a Joey more stupid than cruel / avaricious gives life to a version of Bendy who does not appreciate the drawings and the management of the Studio. Lots of humor, and towards the end the author tackles (very well) a serious theme.

⦁ Team Sillyvision, @corruptimles : (still in progress) A few comics, a lot of drawings. HERE -> IFW: We follow two "teams" Sammy and Henry, and a little Bendy who is attached to the projectionist.

⦁ The Devil's Roost, @devilsroost : (still active) Lots of comics, a main arc to be found HERE and a lot of questions and answers from Bendy himself.  -> IFW: Bendy is a true demon, embodied in a toon body modeled in ink. So exit the cute little devil who is afraid of ghosts, and hello the demon who drinks, smokes cigars and loves big breasts. He moved to Toon-Town and opened a bar there (Yes. A bar). Lots and lots of humor. But not only!

⦁ Lampblack City, @lampblackcity : (paused) Some comics following a precise arc HERE, drawings and questions and answers in relation to AU . Quite a lot of OC. -> IFW: Henry, Boris, Alice and Bendy managed to leave the Studio and they are installed in Lampblack city. But ink corruption still exists and they find themselves having to fight it because only they know about it.

⦁ Happily Ever After, @a-rae-of-sunshine: (still in progress) To my knowledge, especially comics. HERE -> IFW: Henry "recovers" an intact Bendy at the end of the 5th chapter and leaves the Studio with Alice (Allisson) and Tom. We also accompany them outside.

⦁ Henry and the Ink Machine  + the buddy AU, @thelostmoongazer : (finished ... I think). A few comics forming a story. HERE -> INF: Bendy, perfectly formed, runs away from Joey before things go wrong. Much later, he receives a rather threatening letter, half ordering him to return to the Studio. Where he finds an "inky" Henry.

⦁ MOB Boss Bendy, Beneccio Drew @thelostmoongazer : (finished / abandoned?) A few comics but mostly drawings and questions and answers. HERE -> IFW: A perfect adult Bendy, turned mafioso, evolves in a city full of toons (?).

⦁ Bendy get a life, NEGADUCK9, deviantart : (still in progress) Full, but then full of mini-strips, to find HERE. -> IFW: Well ... I haven't read them. Sorry ^^ '. But we mostly follow Bendy, Alice and Boris as if they had a "real" life. 

⦁ Ink Stain, @metallicartist : (paused) A (very good) comic book, which can be read in great quality on Tapas HERE. -> IFW: What if a good blow to the head was all it took to make the Studio characters to themselves? The arc follows the story of the game.

⦁ Hell's Kitchen, @spudinacup : (overwhelmed artist) Some comics. HERE. -> EQM: Ink Bendy is opening (I have no idea why!) A bacon soup canteen.

⦁ Escape, @inkdemonapologist (more or less finished) A few comics starting a (pretty) story. HERE. -> IFW: All the ex-employees of the Studio managed to leave the Studio and took refuge in a house, together.

⦁ Host, @random-friendly-1ntrovert: (in progress) For the moment, three pretty comics - which I translate :) - HERE. -> IFW: An entity searches for hosts and uses Bendy's naivety and distress to find them.

⦁ Broken cycle, @bccomicask : (in progress) Some  pretty comics, all by hand. HERE. -> IFW: Ink Bendy crosses the ink and arrives in a swapped version of the Lost Ghetto. Kind of "Sandman".

⦁ Ask Bendy, @askthedevilswing:(stopped): Some magnificent comics and especially questions and answers.HERE. -> IFW: A (practically) perfect bendy worries about being stolen the show.

⦁ Inkborne, Abel the Angel, @the-vampire-inside-me:(deactivated account, difficult to find) -> IFW: Inkborne is an adaptation of the scenario of the game with another and Abel is an OC. From what I understand, it was also designed by Drew but now evolves in a city of Toons ... And not doing all angelic things.

⦁ Bendy Before The Ink Machine, @bendybeforetheinkmachine-rus: (in progress) Comics, to be read in the Japanese way. HERE. -> IFW: I haven't read it, unfortunately ... I understand that Bendy is human and takes over from Joey at the head of his company ...

⦁ Bendy's mafia, Dylan the demon: @eliana55226838 and for Dylan (I understand he had changed owners, but impossible to find her name. So sorry, if anyone knows ...) HERE. -> IFW: I haven't - so far - been able to find the beginning of the story ^^. But I think it's centered around a Bendy turned criminal, around whom a few other characters in the game revolve.

⦁ "Collage-man", @bravagio (Provisional name, just beginning) For now, a few drawings but an interesting idea and a sumptuous line. HERE. -> EQM: What if Henry was corrupted by ink and was behind the funny portrait Boris made in his refuge?

⦁ Welcome to Bendyland, @welcometobendyland: (starts this month) For now, mostly Q&A and a very promising UA draft. JUST THERE. -> EQM: We find a Henry transformed into Bendy without him remembering how as well as Allison and Tom. To be continued ;)

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P.S: Keep in mind that these AUs are all in English, mostly two to three years old and quite often based on the early chapters of BATIM.

If I forgot any, if there are others you like, if I made a mistake or if my English stings your eyes, do not hesitate to tell me (kindly, it is not intentional !)

Enjoy!