#and i know your post is like nearly 3 years old op i just need to scream into a void

[the6-4]

op you dont understand how honestly EASY it would be to incorporate cooper into the lore. i havent kept up with the lore of apex really myself since vantage was added BUT. listen.

ever since the start we've had legends who were pilots. wraith is confirmed to have been a senior science pilot on typhon (points and screams) but it took a little while for direct titanfall 2 references to begin

i remember losing my mind over rampart having part of viper's chassis in her workshop, and then valkyrie was added and it made sense. but we still need to talk about the fact that TITANS THEMSELVES HAVE BEEN SHOWN IN OFFICIAL MEDIA AS FAR BACK AS RAMPART'S ART.

and then we got valkyrie, viper's DAUGHTER. if cooper was added we could have some CRAZY interactions especially if valkyrie knew who cooper was and wanted revenge. a real loba-revenant rivalry. we've seen her picking through part of typhon to retrieve things from what remained of the battle of typhon. its NOT IMPOSSIBLE FOR SOMETHING TO REMAIN OF BT.

and then ASH WAS ADDED AS A LEGEND. lets DOUBLE that "holy shit YOU" potential. jack convinced he killed her for good and ash pieced back together without his knowledge.

After this is where my lore knowledge gets fuzzy, but the wiki says that newcastle had a combat pilot certification, and possibly at one point had a titan of his own. Its also revealed that later that he and bangalore killed an IMC pilot to save newcastle's life. and THEN its revealed that newcastle found out about the fucking fold weapon and what the ARES division was planning to do with it. HUGE link to the titanfall 2 campaign and more so another character that cooper now has an indirect link to.

just that alone is like?? fucking CRAZY because we have 1) at least 3 definitively certified pilots (5 if we count blisk) (and 6 if we sorta count valk whos had experience piloting a titan) and 2) MULTIPLE DIRECT LINKS back to major events of titanfall 2.

and pushing all that aside for a moment, lets just remember we have a character whos related to one of coopers allies! its revealed through a message from his mother that mirage's uncle is droz (which is funny, cause i always thought mirage's sense of humour and mannerisms really matched up better with davis)

after this is where im entirely pulling from the wiki cause i stopped watching the lore videos. Conduit is the newest legend as of writing this post, and her toolset revolves entirely around her having a titan battery and was developed with the aid of a weapons developer Lenlen Lastimosa (i had a bit of a WAIT WHAT moment reading that off the wiki and id be annoyed if it was just a one off wink-nudge from the devs)

onto how realistic it actually might be for our boy jack to show up and then go on to fight in the games.

lets be real, he'd be coming up on about 48 years old at least by this point in the timeline instead of the spry 28ish we saw him at last. its been a hot second since weve seen him fight, but we do have a number of other (mostly) organic legends around that age, so it doesnt feel as unrealistic as it did back when we only had caustic as our middle aged rep (fuse at 55, maggie at 56, caustic at 50, ballistic at 63)! theres an honest case for him ending up as a simulacrum if hes had a particularly eventful life after the events of titanfall 2 too, seeing as though both factions werent particularly opposed to just downloading the brains of their more prestigious pilots in case of injury or death (and i think it would be interesting especially in the dynamic of valk and cooper and ash and cooper)

im not gonna reread this and im sure its incomprehensible but in conclusion;

we have many many direct and indirect links to the events of titanfall 2 including: cooper, typhon and the fold weapon, and titans as a whole in the apex legends lore already. it would be so incredibly easy to slot cooper into this. i just want cooper to show up with that old card in hand so so badly.

The incoherent letter to Respawn Entertainment I’ll never send

Dear Respawn,

I’ll preface with the fact that I do not care about Apex Legends. I’ve played it once (1) and it didn’t stick and I’m not invested in the lore of the current characters. I’ve heard one (or more) of them is gay and I do like that though.

However, I am here to petition you about adding a very important character to the Apex Legends lineup. His name is Jack Cooper and I’m sure your writing team is already familiar with him. He is the only white boy wonder protagonist I’ve ever loved and I would like to remind you that he got personally, personally invited to join Apex Legends by the man named Blisk in the cutscene everyone forgot about in Titanfall 2 because immediately following was the cutscene that made everyone bawl like little babies (me included). But this does not negate the point. Jack got a personal invitation to participate in the games. Here’s why he should:

Dedicated fans have decoded your easter egg in the end credit scene of Titanfall 2. The helmet flashes in binary and the message says “Jack?”. This confirms that everyone’s favorite character in the history of videogames is still, in fact, alive. I’m talking about BT-7274, otherwise known as the most goddamn lovable mech robot I’ve ever fucking seen. If you weren’t aware, BT-7274 and Jack Cooper are legally married. They channel the purest essence of the Knight-Rider-Buddy-Cop aesthetic in their every interaction and are one of, if not the most enjoyable onscreen relationship there’s been in years. They would die for each other, they would live for each other, and they deserve a happy domestic life where nothing bad ever happens to them again. However, in order to achieve this, they need to find each other again.

BT-7274 is still alive, that much is clear from the easter egg, but he could be anywhere in space and time because he got caught in the explosion of the fold weapon. However, Jack, being a member of the Militia, is currently in active service and can’t drop everything to go searching without serious repercussions. However, if he joined the Apex Games, he’d be able to travel with the games and the show runners would protect him from the Militia’s retaliation for his leaving. To summarize, Jack has adequate motivation to join Apex Legends because through it he can search time and space for BT.

While I do not care about Apex Legends as a game, I offer the idea that Jack would be a fun playable character. The game does not currently have an official wall-running mechanic because none of the characters are pilots, but Jack is, so that could be the center of his kit. It would be a fantastic gameplay throwback for your players that got invested in the Titanfall-style movement shooter. On a more radical note, perhaps his ultimate ability would be calling down a spectral version of BT-7274 to pilot for a short amount of time- explained lorewise as BT reaching through time and space to help out when his pilot is in a tight spot. Perhaps in a similar way to how the ghost lady hears voices of herself from the future? Again, I am unsure of current Apex lore, so you will have to do the proper lore adjustments to make everything work.

But really, the core of this idea is mostly for the continuity. It is borne from my deep attachment to Jack Cooper and BT-7274, and a desire to see their storyline continued from the spectacular campaign of Titanfall 2. You got me attached to these characters, twisted the knife, then suggested there’s a chance for them to have a happy ending, so now you have to deal with me. Please add Jack Cooper to Apex Legends or I will begin picketing outside of your headquarters.

Sincerely, A Titanfall 2 fan

[thoughtsandbones]

Ιf eyes could kill

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!MedicDoc OC (codename: Blue) 💀💙

WARNINGS: Mention of alcohol, war, misogyny, sexism, racism, profanity, medical inaccuracies and just getting the POV of our friendly neighbourhood masked menace.

Plot: Doctor Ruhari Hari Kaur (OC is South Asian ☺️) joins the 141 again, but this time as their doctor. After the betrayal of Shepherd and Graves, Task Force 141 begins their hunt on his whereabouts and locating Makarov.

PLEASE reblog and like! Hope folks are enjoying the series, I am building up characters and plots, cos I have a lot ideas and just been enjoying writing :D

Song inspo: Deep - Nine Inch Nails and The Hand That Feeds - Nine Inch Nails

A/N: Flashbacks are getting messed up when I am indenting them and I am getting lots of errors when publishing the work, please bare with some mistakes and spelling issues.

RAMC - Royal Army Medical Corps

I grew up with the OG MW2 game, so there are some references to the old one, so kind of a mix of both the OG and the new timeline... (Also I'm ignoring the OG Shepherd betrayal and keeping in line the one with the new timeline..)

All rights reserved to the rightful owners of Call of Duty Modern Warfare.

spelling and some grammar mistakes as I am bad at times... :/

(FYI: bold sentences... that are like this... are supposed to describe redacted data/info to the plot... ;] .. )

Please do let me know how you all are finding this fanfic! :D

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6 and PART 7

Part 8

With both arms you push the doors leading out of the OR open letting out a loud sigh, untying your pink flamingo scrub cap and holding onto it, squeezing it within your fist. The surgery was of course a success, a simple appendectomy done in 45 minutes. The take out the pins holding your two french braids up in a bun, letting the braids fall against your back.

Yet you felt on edge. This doesn't normally happen. The irritability bubbling under your skin.

"No need to show off" Dr Jones commented when your were stitching the incision, using your preferred lock-stitch method.

That comment, along with the various other comments before, throughout and at the end of the surgery rattled you.

"Thought you'd be one of the nurses" whilst scrubbing in

"Hm wouldn't have done it that way" Αs you delved into the lower abdomen

"Do Indians chose any other career than medicine or IT?" He said post op.

The rudeness. The sheer audacity. If this was Royal Foxham Hospital, you would've snapped back at him the moment he made the first comment. But no, you didn't have the same reputation as you had back there. Here, you were just a liaison doctor begging to be a part of any surgery again.

General surgery wasn't your area of expertise. Neurosurgery was your arena. Another 4 more years, you'd be a consultant and flying solo.

But that didn't happen. Past trauma caught up to you, and crept back in your life and you dealt with it badly. Bad decisions that nearly lost your career.

Coming back to the 141 and retaining your medical licence was honestly a blessing.

You walk around the building where most of RAMC is based. Trying to calm yourself down. But those comments kept stirring in your head.

"Hey Dr Kaur" a sweet voice called out to you. You turn around and stop your aimless wondering. It was one of the nurses, Clarissa, the pink scrubs making her dark skin more radiant.

"Hey" You say weakly, giving a half-hearted smile leaning back on the wall hands behind your back.

"Look, I want to say sorry about Dr Jones earlier" She says, giving you a sympathetic smile.

"No, don't apologies for him" You say slyly. "Is he always.." you trail off

"Such a pompous ass?" She adds

"Fucking prick is what I would've gone with" You retort. Both of you laugh.

You check your watch, it was nearly 11:30 am and you had to get back to the infirmary.

"It was nice working with you" Clarissa says noting your concerned face as you checked the watch. "Just wanted to make sure you're okay?" she added

"Likewise, you were really good, and I am fine, don't worry" You reply back

Clarissa smiled, turning the around and you watch her walk away, her black braids swinging side to side against her shoulders.

You bang your head lightly against the wall and shake your head. The reminder of Dr Jones brought your irritability to a simmer.

Walking back to Building 2, you run into Gaz who was out on a jog, wearing a shorts and a grey shirt that was seeped in his sweat. He took off his headphones and nodded towards you.

"Morning Doc" he says catching up to you.

You turn to him and smiled slightly.

"Morning Gaz, how are you?" You ask

"Not bad, sweating off the alcohol from last night" He says, panting slightly.

You chuckle briefly, you remember the events of last night.

"No Soap with you?" You ask brightly

"When I swung by his room, he was throwing up in his sink, poor lad didn't make it to the toilet in time" Gaz chuckled

You laughed along with him.

"How was surgery?" Gaz asked you, turning to face you as you both approached Building 2.

"It was... good." You say slowly, pondering at the thought of whether he would want to know the drama or could you be bothered to tell the story and then get further worked up.

Spiralling in your thoughts again you think to yourself.

"Yeah?" Gaz says, looking at you.

"Yes, sorry, brain is fried" You sighed, bringing your hand up scratching your head.

"It's alright" Gaz says turning away from you, smiling.

Both of you head into Building 2, Gaz bids you are farewell as he goes to his room. You head to the infirmary and take the key out of your pocket, unlocking the door and taking off the OUT OF OFFICE sign off that you put up earlier.

Walking in, you take in the organised, clean and silent infirmary. No one is here to judge you. Just you. Strolling over to the desk, place the sign near your laptop, you sit down, leaning back into the chair and placed your feet near the edge of the desk. Tilting your head back, sinking into the silence.

The silence was broken as Captain Price waltzed in with an injured soldier on his back crying "My ankle" and "It's broken"

You quickly sit up and walk over to Price. Doctor mode activated.

"What happened?" You ask abruptly helping the marine over to the med bed with Price. You head over to the sink in the bathroom, wash and dry you hands and then grabbed a pair of gloves as Price struggled to lie the marine 's back down on the bed.

"Michaels here landed badly on his ankle when climbing over the climbing wall" Snapping the gloves on, you flex your fingers and then head to the ankle.

"It's broken" Michaels continues to whine.

Your patience already wearing thin, you gave him a stern look as he wailed at the other end of the bed. Price was trying to calm him down, but nearly snorted with laughter as he saw your face of disgust.

"If it was broken you wouldn't be able to wiggle your foot as much as you are right now" You huffed. Gently pressing the area, examining it. It was swollen.

Need ice, but could also maybe a hairline fracture... You think

Applying slight pressure to one area on the inner ankle Michaels lets out a loud yelp. You look up to Price.

"Going to call RAMC to come over and take you for an X-ray" You say aloud. Price nodded.

Michaels whined even louder.

"Calm down lad" Price shouted, Michaels stopped and looked teary eyed at Price.

Heading over to the phone you call the folks over at RAMC. To be honest you were at a lost all of a sudden. You hadn't dealt with broken feet in years, and you went over the basics in your head:

Blood, no. Visible deformity, no. Bruising of the skin, yes slightly... He was able to move his foot. But you had to be sure. X-ray to be sure.

Once off the phone, you headed over to Michaels, grabbing and crushing an instant ice-pack, then placed it on his ankle, keeping the leg elevated. Going over the basics again.

You felt your heart rate getting high, a slight tremble in your hand.

Pull it together you thought to yourself, burrowing your brows further and shaking your head. Price now seated next to Michaels watching over you.

Fifteen minutes later two medics arrive with a wheelchair to the infirmary, you help Price as he gets Michaels into the wheelchair, the ice pack dropped, and you bend down and grab it, placing it back on his ankle, securing it with a bit of medical tape.

"Thank you" you say to the two medics "Please keep me updated" you add, they nod back at you and Price and walked out.

"Cheers Blue" Price says "That was eventful" he adds chuckling slightly.

"Yeah" you sigh. "Just had to be sure, wasn't sure if it was a hairline fracture..." you mumble

"Your call Blue" Price says affirmingly and giving you a smile

You weakly smile back. Brows were still furrowed.

"Other than that, how was your day Captain?" You ask Price, trying to swiftly break the tension that loomed.

"Good!" He said exhaling deeply, trying to ignore the abysmal conversation he had with Ghost earlier. "Next task is to locate Soap!" He chuckles, shaking his head.

"Yes, Gaz said he was lurking round his sink, feeling the effects of last night" You say, slightly laughing.

"About last night.." Price begins, stepping towards you, eyes now full of concern and caution.

"Don't worry about it Captain, told you sambuca was vile." You say slyly.

"He's a boisterous lad, and it was amusing to see his drunken self"

"Yeah..." You drifted off, not making any eye contact with him.

Price takes in your dejected face. Something, perhaps someone, is bothering you.

"I believe its time for lunch, let's go grab some Blue" He says, gesturing you out the door.

Both of you leave the infirmary, at was 12:30pm, and you had breakfast at 7am.

Of course you're feeling low! Lack of sugar idiot You think, scolding yourself as you lock the infirmary and sticking up the OUT OF OFFICE sign again.

"Let's check on Soap first" Price says looking at you. You nod back following his lead.

Price leads the way as you both walk towards the door of Soap's bedroom. After knocking several times, there was no answer.

"I hope he hasn't choked on his own vomit" Price sighs, then turns to look at you. You raise your eyebrows at him

"Do you have a master key?" You ask

"No, I do not" Price replied sighing again.

Price banged one more time, the door shook.

"Soap, open up" Price said aloud.

Still no answer.

"Perhaps he's in the mess hall getting food?" You suggest

"Perhaps" Price says, looking at you and then back at the door to Soap's room. "Let's go then" Price added

You follow his lead as you both make your way down to the mess hall. It was busy, with it being lunch. You watch and follow Price, he made his way through the mess hall, soldiers making room for him and veering off from their paths that Price was heading down, stopping to nod and say hello to Captain Price, you watch from behind him, he nods his head to soldiers that say hello to him.

Near the end of the mess hall, you spot Gaz and a very hungover Soap, who was holding and nursing his head with his hands, scratching the back of his mohawk with his fingers. Price spots them, as makes his way over, looking over his right shoulder making sure you are still behind him.

Price heads over to Soap, and leans down next to him

"How's the head today?" Price whispers in his left ear, chuckling slightly.

Gaz laughs. Soap lifts his head up and groans.

"Awful" He moans "Didn't realise I would be feeling this bad" He added

Price sits down next to Soap, you go round the table sitting opposite Gaz, Soap and Price.

"Have you drunk enough water today?" You ask

"Aye" Soap says groaning, making eye contact with you.

"Taken any medicine?" You ask

"Aye, took some paracetamol about an hour ago" Soap responded

"Must keep drinking water, your brain is dehydrated" You say to him

Soap nods along, returning his head in his hands. Gaz snickered as he continued to eat his food.

"Blue, you want the lasagna?" Price asked

"Er, yeah, I'll come with" You say getting up

"Don't worry, I've got it for you" Price said smiling and gave you a wink.

"Thank you sir"

You sit back in the chair. Leaning your head back and staring at the ceiling.

Ghost walked into the mess hall. He had already eaten in the private kitchenette the 141 had next to Price's office. It was only ever him or Price that would use it. Gaz and Soap said they preferred the hustle and bustle of the mess hall. But he later found out that Price had banned them after they had once made a mess and damaged Price's expensive coffee machine.

He saw Price in the queue for getting food and went over to him.

"How's Michaels?" He asked

Price turned to look at him.

"He'll live. Blue thinks he may have a hairline fracture so was sent over to RAMC for an X-ray"

Ghost nods

"Seen Soap yet?" Ghost asks

Price chuckles

"Yeah, muppet is nursing a bag hangover" Price says, gesturing with his head to the back of the mess hall.

Ghost turned his head and spotted Gaz, Soap and you. You were shaking your head at Soap as he was running his hands over his head.

"Here, grab a tray for me" Price told Ghost

"Already ate Price" Ghost responded who now was a part of the queue to grab lunch as soldiers queued up behind him.

"For me you muppet. I'm getting Blue her food" Price said rolling his eyes as he passed a tray over to Ghost and grabbed another for himself.

"Why?" Ghost asked

"Something is up with her..." Price says slowly as he continues to stare at the food that was in front of him.

"Do you know what?"

"Maybe it's because you haven't told her who you are yet?" Price says, looking back at Ghost with a smirk.

Ghost was taken aback.

"Did you tell her?" Ghost questioned

"I told you, I'm not going to do it. You need to." Price chuckled.

Ghost looked over at the table where you sat with Gaz and Soap. Your head leaning back, eyes closed. Price was right, even from afar, you seemed on edge.

"Do you think it's what Soap said last night?" Ghost asked

Price moved along as the queue moved, Ghost followed, still holding the tray.

"Not sure." Price answered.

"What can I get you?" The staff member asked behind the food counter.

"Two lasagna's please, one with chips" Price said

Ghost grabbed the plate with the chips and placed it on the tray. He followed Price over to the fridge and took the bottle of water that was handed to him. He then made his way to the table where the other three were.

"Here you go Blue" Price said as he set the tray with the lasagna down in front of you and placing the water upright on the tray.

"Thank you very much sir" You say, giving him a slight smile, but brows still furrowed.

Price sat next to you, and Ghost joined, giving Price his tray. He sat by Soap, he looked at you. You were staring at your lasagna, not happy clearly. Something, or even someone had pissed you off.

"How's the head Johnny?" Ghost asked turning his attention to him.

"Awful Lt." Soap responded.

"You need to drink water, haven't seen you take a sip since I got here" You say, cutting up your lasagna, not making any eye contact.

"Aye, I'll grab some" Soap says, getting up and moving to the water tank behind them and grabbing a cup of water.

You look up and watch Soap drink the water, he refilled it and took another gulp. In the corner of your eye you see Dr Jones storm into the mess hall, your eyes met his, he marched over to you. Soap walked over back to the table and sat back down.

"Great" you muttered. Price looked at you whilst he took a bite of lunch, and then looked in the same direction you were looking at.

"Dr Kaur!" Dr Jones yelled

Gaz, Soap, and Ghost turned their heads to the direction of where that yell came from.

"Do you really think it is appropriate to send off an injured marine with just a sprain to us?" Dr Jones squealed "Not only are your skills in surgery lacking, but also in treating simple ailments" he hissed.

Dr Jones was now right beside you, still wearing the same blue scrubs, similar to yours, as he towered over you.

The blood coursing through you was boiling, you felt like every nerve was sizzling with anger. Taking a deep breathe in through the nose, holding for four... You get up and stand face to face with Dr Jones. Exhaling for four.

Price, Ghost, Soap and Gaz looked on at you. The contempt and hate seeping out of your eyes.

"I do not currently have an X-ray machine in the infirmary." You begin, voice steady, calm, yet with sly undertone of spite. "The patient jumped over and landed poorly from a 8ft climbing wall. The damage of that impact could've been fatal" You added, your eyes piercing into his.

The chatter in the mess hall died down slightly, soldiers began averting their gaze from their food to the confrontation occurring before them.

Price looked on at you, impressed with your calm yet calculated demeanour. A smirk appeared across his face, continued to watch you, he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned slightly back to carry one watching.

Dr Jones stared back at you, stunned, you could've sworn his bottom lip quivered slightly.

"Additionally, I am a liaison doctor for the RAMC, my commanding officer is Captain Price, and he also agreed with my decision to send off the patient to you." You continued

Dr Jones mouth was open. Eyes still wide.

"I er.." He started, stumbling over his words

"Yes, it may have just been a sprain, however, there is no harm in double checking. After all, is it not the duty of the Royal Army Medical Corps to assist in any injury that any soldier gets?" You ask

"We- Well yes." Dr Jones stammers, the tips of his ears turning red, he looks around him and sees that all eyes in the mess hall are on him as well as you.

Ghost continued to look at you, your stern face locked in as you dragged Dr Jones. Your eyes still piercing the man whose face was turning red like a tomato.

"Good. Do not ever underestimate my decisions as a doctor unless you have a valid reason to. My skills in surgery are not lacking, just because I have a preferred method of stitching does not make me any less capable than you." You say bluntly. "That is all I have to say on the matter." You add.

You give him one final glare, ensuring he took the message in and sit back down to savour and enjoy the rest of your lunch.

Dr Jones began to retreat until Price spoke

"I believe you owe Dr Kaur an apology Dr Jones" Price said now looking at Dr Jones with a look of disdain.

"My apologies doctor" Dr Jones said through gritted teeth, his face now fully red.

You look back up to Dr Jones and nod back at him and then turn back to your food. Dr Jones walked off, the eyes of the mess hall trailing him as he left the door. The chatter began to increase after witnessing the alteration between the two doctors.

"Steamin' Jesus Doc" Soap says breaking the silence of the table. "That look in your eyes nearly took me out" He added laughing.

You look up briefly at him, smirking and then shrugged your shoulders.

"Honestly thought you would knock 'im out" Price exclaimed

"Not a chance" You scoffed

The anger with in you still stirred, you honestly did feel like punching him. You wanted to beat the living shit out of him. But you couldn't do that. You couldn't fuck up again. Aimlessly prodding at your half-eaten lasagna your appetite was now lost. The grip on the fork was strong, you just wanted to stab something. Or somone.

"It was impressive how you handled him Hari" Gaz said, after he took a sip of his water.

"Aye, do not want to ever piss you off" Soap says chuckling, looking at you and then to Gaz.

You look up, face still stern, eyes narrowed. You run your tongue over your teeth.

"Not only are your skills in surgery lacking, but also in treating simple ailments"

That comment rang through your head the loudest.

"You turned 'im into a blushing bride" Soap said, reaching his left arm over and tapping your on the shoulder. You look up at Soap not smiling.

Soap felt a tinge of embarrassment strike him as you gave him that same look. Before he could say anything you got up.

"I'm heading off to the training room" You say bluntly, eyes still cold. "Page me if you need anything" You add, looking at Price

Price nods at you.

"Shit, what did I do?" Soap asked as he watched you walk away.

Price and Gaz chuckle, Ghost looked at Soap and then towards you as you emptied your tray and left the mess hall.

"Clearly you don't remember last night" Ghost said

"What happened last night?!" Soap exclaimed turning to Price and Gaz.

Gaz and Price filled Soap in with the events of last night. The drunk comments he made. Soap turned red as Gaz kept going on about how he asked if you had a fella back home, and was literally sobbing at the fact you had a female ex lover.

"And you got my jacket wet" Ghost added

"Ah Jesus" Soap exclaimed, burying his flushed head in his hands.

Price's phone rang, he picked up it.

"Hello" He said

"I honestly do not remember that." Soap said "You don't think she thinks I'm like... homophobic...?" Soap whispered to Gaz

"Unlikely mate" Gaz said, patting Soap on the shoulder.

"Right, I'll send Ghost over" Price said and hung up.

Ghost looked over to Price, concern in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Ghost asks.

"Nothing. Blue wants to use the training room, and needs a CO to sign out the guns and needs supervision" Price said

Ghost sighed. Why him? This would make icing her out even harder.

"I'm on lunch, and seeing as though you already ate, you can go and supervise" Price said, as though he could read his mind.

"Yes sir" Ghost said, he got up and left the mess hall.

He made his way out of Building 2 and down the the training ground.

Being in close proximity to you, making it harder to avoid you. 'Specially since you were their doctor. Ghost thought.

Ηe walked in, and saw you standing by the reception area tapping your foot against the hardwood floor. You had changed out of your blue scrubs, and wore black fatigues and baggy black top that was tucked in paired with black combat boots. Your hair still in two french braids.

"Lieutenant" You say nodding your head

"Doc" He said, giving you a slight nod back.

"She wants to use training course, but she's not active duty." The man behind reception said to Ghost.

"Doc is part of the 141, so she's allowed to use the trainin' course" Ghost responded bluntly.

"Has she handled a weapon before?" The man asked Ghost

"She has." You answer

Ghost smirked under his mask as he grabbed a pen on the desk and moved towards the man behind the counter. He turned towards you.

"What course you wanna run?" He asks

"Target course 4. Two USP pistols and a knife, serrated is preferred." You say without hesitation.

Ghost raises a brow, he was slightly impressed.

"You heard her" Ghost said, turning back.

The man handed Ghost a form to sign as he went out back to retrieve the weapons. He looked over at you, you remained stoic, staring at Ghost.

"Goin' to have to supervise you." He said "That alrigh'" He asked

"Of course sir" You say

"Need you to sign here Doc" Ghost said, handing you the pen. You walk over to Ghost and take the pen and scribble your name. Ghost looked down as you signed your name: Dr Hari Kaur

The man came back with your weapons, 6 magazines and a magazine holder.

"These are live ammunitions" He said

"I know" You said "I also need a two gun holster with a belt, along with one for a knife please" You say

The man looks at you bewildered. He then looks at Ghost, who stared right back at him. He returned to the store room.

"You know what to do?" Ghost asks

"Yes sir" You say.

Ghost observed you as you inspected the pistols.

"Still allowed to play music?" You ask Ghost turning to look at him.

"Can do. What you wanna listen to?" Ghost asks

"Du Hast, Rammstein" You say and Ghost nodded.

The man returned with your holsters. Ghost watched as you looped the belt with the magazine holder through the hoops of your trousers and then attached the holsters, placing the guns in them. The knife holster was then attached to the back of the belt, you slid the knife in. Ghost handed you safety goggles and ear plugs. You took them and put them on.

"Ready?"

"Ready sir" You say

"Doc has requested music, I'll come back once I've shown her the course and will be in the box" Ghost said to the man who nodded his head as he signed off the form.

Ghost walked off and you followed behind. He opened the door to the course and stood by the door.

"Targets will pop up as you approach, knife 'em or shoot 'em, your choice, but remember, you are dealin' with live ammo, so be careful" He says "Check your corners" He adds.

"Yes sir" You say, eyeing the course, mapping out possible routes in your head. It has been years, but here's hoping that you still take these targets down.

"I'll start the music and let you know when to go, I'll be watchin' from the box" Ghost said as he points up to the little box overlooking the course. You follow where is finger is pointing.

"Thank you sir" You say returning your gaze to the course.

Ghost made his way up the stairs to the box where another soldier was.

"Lieutenant" He said getting up and saluting.

"At ease" He gruffs.

He walks over the control panel, and takes his phone out, loading up the song you wanted and grabbed the aux cord, connecting it to the phone.

He watches you, you look up at him in the box. He nods his head and you nod back and turned away, grabbing the knife from your holster and closed your eyes, rolling your neck around, inhaling through your nose and out your mouth. You got into your stance, feet planted in the ground firmly.

Ghost presses the mic button, his voice boomed over the Tannoy system. The soldier flinched but you didn't.

"Ready in 3, 2, 1" He said and pressed play. He watched eagerly as you walked quickly into the course.

The loud music boomed over the speakers. The first target popped up on your left, you knifed it with great force.

From the holster you take out the left pistol and clicking it, turning round to the right, two targets pop up.

*BANG* *BANG* You shoot them down. You crouch down, checking the corners and above you. You get up and two targets come towards you, you run towards them, shooting one and knifing the other.

Ghost continued to look down, his arms across his chest, nodding his head slightly to the music, he watched as you took down the targets, checking corners and doing a press check on your pistol.

Good He thought to himself.

You got up, and then jumped over a block, a target came up and you slid across the ground, taking a shot. Returning the knife to the holster, you grab your other gun, clicking it. Three targets come up, one running straight towards you, with both pistols in hand you shoot them down. Finding cover, you check your ammo. Eight rounds in your left and fourteen in your right pistol.

Getting back up, you crouch down walking around the obstacles, three targets pop up, you shoot them down as soon as they appeared.

"She's good" The soldier said in the box with Ghost.

"Hmm" Ghost said, keeping his eyes focused on you. You placed both guns back in the holster, taking your knife out. He watched on as you ran up to a target and knifed it, another target popped up behind you and he saw you take out your left pistol shooting it. Walking forwards, three more targets pop and and you shoot and knife them down.

You were approaching the end of the course, the song stopped, but you carried on. Ghost quickly picked up his phone and played another song by Rammstein, Sonne.

He watched as you shot down more targets, you had returned your knife to its holster and were now reloading the magazine in your left pistol. You approached the last four targets with both pistols drawn, and ran towards them shooting them down, your face scrunched up in anger and determination as you took another two shots at the target that wouldn't go down. You had finished the course.

Ghost stopped the music and pressed the mic button.

"Good practise, I'll meet you there" He says, you look up and nod, unloading the pistols.

Ghost walked down, and you walked towards him. You seemed more relaxed, brows no longer furrowed.

"Feeling better?" He asked

You smirk at him

"Much better" You respond

Both of you walk back over to reception. You hand in the full magazines.

"Grab the cleaning gear for us" Ghost said to the man. He nods and heads into the storeroom again.

"You remember how to clean a gun?" He asked you.

"Somewhat" You reply

"I'll show you, hand me one of your pistols" He said, raising his left hand out towards you.

You double check the gun is empty, opening the chamber, looking down the barrel, and then handed it to Ghost. He was taken aback.

"Well done, most recruits don't even check that" Ghost said.

You smile at him.

"My old sergeant taught me well. He would've probably shot me if I gave a gun to him with a round still in it." You say staring right at Ghost, smirking slightly.

Ghost felt a cold wave go through his body. Your old sergeant... You meant him He thought

Ghost cleared his throat "Good that you remembered"

You smile back him, staring right at him in those blue eyes.

The man brought the cleaning kit out and Ghost took ahold of it.

"Let's go to the garage" He said. You followed him, he held the door open for you and gestured you to walk ahead.

Surely she can't know. He pondered. Price wouldn't have told her, Soap couldn't of. No one else on base knew who he really was.

Both entering the garage, Ghost went over to an empty table. You sat down, looking at him still.

Ghost took a seat opposite you, he began to explain the correct way of cleaning a gun, you follow each of his commands, watching what he was doing, from disassembling the pistol, lubricating the action part and then to reassembling the pistol.

He watched as you followed his instructions.

"He would've probably shot me if I gave a gun to him with a round still in it."

Ghost smirked under his mask at what you said. It was slightly true. He knew he would've said something sarcastic back then to them.

He wondered if you knew it was him sitting right in front of him... He could just do it right now though. Rip his mask off and say "Surprise, it's me again" but he couldn't.

The garage door opened both Ghost and you looked up, Price walked in and headed in their direction.

"How was it?" He asked as he stood near you.

"Good" You say

Price turned to Ghost "What was her time?"

"5 minutes 48 seconds. She did very well." Ghost said looking at you, he watches as you smile, continuing to clean your gun.

"Not bad" Price said nodding his head. "Might have to speak to Laswell and see if we can get you active duty status"

You look up, a glee took over your face

"Really?!" You say smiling wildly

Ghost looked cautiously at Price and then at you. What is he thinking?

"Yeah" Price said

"She's not SAS." Ghost said sharply. You turn to look at Ghost, the smile disappearing.

"Women are now allowed to join aren't they?" You retort looking at Price and then at Ghost

"They are yes" Price said looking wearily at Ghost and then back at you.

"No." Ghost said bluntly. I cannot have you in the field. On missions.

"Why?" You say, eyes now focusing on Ghost.

Ghost looked at you. Eyebrows furrowed again, watching him, awaiting his reason.

"You'd be a liability" He said, the lump was forming in his throat again. Maybe this way was the way to ice you out he thought

You scoff.

"Liability?" You questioned

"Ghost-" Price started

"I am not having her in the field with us." Ghost said standing up facing Price.

"It was a suggestion Ghost, nothing set in stone." Price said, raising his voice slightly.

"She's our doctor, she patches us up, not a part of the team" Ghost said bluntly turning to look at you.

You were astonished. 2 minutes ago, everything was fine. You thought you were getting on well with your lieutenant. Clearly not.

Getting up from the chair, you pack up the cleaning kit

"Blue, listen-" Price began

"I believe it's Dr Kaur. After all I'm only here to patch you all up." You spit, not taking your eyes off Ghost, giving him the same piercing look you gave Dr Jones. Ghost felt a sharpness hit him in the chest. Grabbing the two pistols and cleaning kit you leave the two men behind whilst Price glared at Ghost. The door of the garage slamming shut.

"You really had to ruin it" Price said to Ghost

"I am not having her out there with us." Ghost said through his gritted teeth.

"You need push aside any feelings for her Simon" Price said, using his real name this time edging closer to him.

"I don't have any feelings for her" Ghost lied. Worry and anger coursing through him

"Simon. It was a mere suggestion." Price said.

"It was a bad suggestion" Ghost hissed and walked away from Price and out of the garage.

How the hell could he suggest such a stupid thing? I cannot have her out there with us on these dangerous missions. Ghost thought.

He knew he couldn't lose you. He knew you were a good soldier, but he couldn't have you out there with them. He wanted to keep you away from the horrors. He had to protect you. He couldn't let the same thing that happened in Siberia happen again.

[saint-batrick]

I posted 13,977 times in 2022

171 posts created (1%)

13,806 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@endreal

@fatsexybitch

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I tagged 1,927 of my posts in 2022

#ofmd - 420 posts

#bats for bat - 313 posts

#call your mother. - 146 posts

#mutual aid - 96 posts

#selfies for bat - 79 posts

#they/them - 57 posts

#and history remembers me as pretty - 56 posts

#spouse??? please??? - 45 posts

#laliiiiiique - 42 posts

#bats for sweetiebat - 39 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#op don't you dare apologise‚ as this was a fun punchline to deliver‚ as an introvert who has less than five people who know my phone number

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

HELP URGENTLY NEEDED.

see that forecast? our central air conditioning just broke down.

me and my roommates have six cats between the three of us, and it's going to be a couple of days before we can get it repaired.

repairs are going to cost $2000 and we've had to get hotel rooms to keep the cats (and ourselves) at a safe temperature.

PLEASE help if you can, and please share this.

paypal.me/voidbat | cashapp and venmo: voidbat

447 notes - Posted August 1, 2022

#4

so, earlier today i was having a discussion with a friend about how james cameron's avatar had just zero fucking cultural impact, which is kinda nuts considering how huge of a movie it was.

then a few hours later, i learned goncharov fics surpassed the number of avatar fics on ao3.

my friend is terminally offline. so i first had to explain ao3, which they grasped fine. i then had to explain goncharov, which...well, that took a while. but they got there!

then i had the immeasurable joy of informing them that goncharov, a movie we invented whole-cloth less than a week ago has more fan works on ao3 than avatar. the glee on their face was amazing. just fucking transported.

5,047 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

#3

20,065 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

#2

sometimes i get so angry about how the housing market bubble bursting led to the economy collapsing and literally never recovering for the middle class. like...basically wiped out the middle class entirely, if we're being honest.

my bank just offered me a "high yield" savings account. high yield! just a fucking amazing APY! ...the APY is 0.4%. zero. point. four.

in 2006, i worked in a call center for $17.60 an hour and had a savings account with a 9% APY. not 0.9%, a full fucking 9%. i'd only been with the call center for a year and a half, i was 24 years old, my credit was middling at best, and that savings account was brand fucking new with a bank i'd NEVER banked with.

high yield. 0.4%.

my field is in-home healthcare now, and i get paid $9.25 an hour.

the fucking rage i feel at what was taken away from my end of my generation (eldest millennial) and fully denied to everyone younger than us is unreal sometimes.

23,139 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

do y'all even know how much i hate being an "elder queer" at 40? a whole goddamn generation before me was wiped out by a plague that politicians deemed not their problem bc it was killing the "right" people. like. this was OPENLY STATED. i spent a large chunk of my childhood going to funerals. nevermind the fact that killing queer people for being queer wasn't codified into law as a hate crime until i was a junior in high school.

i should NOT be an elder queer, i should be middle at most. i am a middle aged queer. most of the elder queers died.

when i was growing up i didn't go to pride parades, i went to pride marches. because that's 100% what they were in the 80s and 90s.

from the absolute bottom of my heart, LEARN OUR FUCKING HISTORY. a generation was nearly wiped out so you young queers could be here. don't let that have been in vain, please.

46,764 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[rinkrats]

🥺 that mike lange story. But also those tags #sid loooves christmas #he loves giving presents #looks good in red #piles on the pounds fast #post hockey career as santa 😂😂👌🏽👌🏽

he loves his mementos and presents and is COMMITTED to them. scrapbooking. matching jackets. little pills with hidden motivational messages~*~ his love language is gifts and neck smooches and stalking geno. relevant right now are some anecdotes i sent a friend earlier this year for dorky sid gifts fic fodder:

1. Crosby's constant thoughtfulness would be impressive from anyone, much less someone of his stature.

"Sid always texts me happy birthday, he's always asking me like, how's Russia?" Evgeni Malkin said. "We talk and message all summer. He asks me how my skates are. He knows, like, everything. He follows my Instagram, I think (laughs)."

In addition to having a handle on those little details, Crosby is constantly providing those around him with memories and mementos. If the team is on the road and goes, say, sightseeing or to a sporting event and takes a group photo, Crosby will later send a framed copy to everyone.

When Ron Hextall and Brian Burke watched their first Penguins game in person, Crosby is the one who approached head equipment manager Dana Heinze and asked for two used game pucks to give to the new GM and president of hockey ops. 

After the Penguins won in 2009, Crosby had jackets made for the three players on the team who had scored a Cup-clinching goal in Game 7: Talbot (Pittsburgh), Ruslan Fedotenko (Tampa Bay) and Mike Rupp (New Jersey).

"They were blue jackets with gold buttons, and each one had a patch on it that said 'GWG Game 7,'" Talbot said. "At one of our first team meals the next season, he presented us with the jackets and did a big ceremony with the music and stuff. We had a private room in the restaurant. I still have the jacket."

-The Consummate Teammate, Captain and Ambassador, Feb 2021

2. Merz: My first interaction with Sid was when we were on the bench, guys were talking about a teammate, and the first thing this 15-year-old says is, “Hey, guys. Let’s keep everything positive. Don’t talk about your teammates that way.”

Salcido: When we were getting ready for nationals, he found these little pills that you could put a hidden message inside. They unscrewed, and inside was a tiny scroll. He gave one to every teammate. … He had everyone fill one out. He didn’t tell anyone what to write, but he made it known that we all knew what the goal was: winning nationals. So we wrote on our scrolls, rolled them up and put them in the pill thing. We kept them with us everywhere we went.

-‘Is this real?’: Stories of Sidney Crosby’s year at a Minnesota prep school, May 2020

3. On “Butterfly Boy” Jonathan Pitre:

Though the Senators are his team, Sidney Crosby has always been Jonny’s favourite player. After the TSN documentary airs, Tina gets a call from the Penguins. Sid needs Jonny’s measurements. He wants to have a suit made for him by his personal tailor, Domenico Vacca.

“It’s the kindest, sweetest gesture,” Tina says. “Sid heard that Jonny went to a lot of games, so he wants him to look like he’s one of the guys.”

“I want him to feel like a pro,” Crosby says. “Here’s a guy who is going through something so painful, and his first thought is always, ‘How can I help others?’ When I was young, I’d watch on TV the players coming to the rink in their suits. That was a cool part of being an NHL player. I want him to feel that, to make it as real as possible for him.”

Tina tries to discreetly measure Jonny while she’s changing his dressings. But he’s way too smart for that.

“Um, Mom, why are you measuring me? Am I going for surgery again?” he asks.

“No, no!” Tina replies, trying to reassure him and come up with a good lie, all in the same breath. “The doctor needs them just to make sure they have proper dressings next time you are in.”

A few weeks later, the sharp navy blue suit shows up at their front door, along with a couple of ties, an autographed stick and a handwritten letter from Sid. 

“His eyes just light up,” Tina says. “Jonny always liked to be well-dressed, and he just loves having his own suit. It fits perfectly. He looks so good in it.”

-Beauties by James Duthie (2020)

4. Pascal Dupuis inspired his Pittsburgh Penguins teammates on their run to the Stanley Cup, and Sidney Crosby found a special way of driving that message home.

Dupuis retired in December with lingering health concerns because of blood clots. Despite his NHL playing days coming to an end, the veteran forward remained an integral part of the Penguins and was in uniform to hoist the Cup after Pittsburgh's six-game win against the San Jose Sharks in the Stanley Cup Final.

On Sunday, Dupuis brought the Cup home one last time as a player to share a special day with his family, friends and hometown fans.

"Yes, it does feel bittersweet a little bit," Dupuis said. "You get the Cup, you want to celebrate. But at the same time I got a gift by the mail [Saturday]. Basically, it's a book of all the pictures of all the good stuff we went through. It came from Nova Scotia, so you guys can figure out who it came from (Crosby), but he couldn't give it to me during the season, he saw me skating a little bit.

"And he sent it [Saturday], before my day with the Cup, so he knew what he was doing to get me right here," Dupuis said, putting his fist over his heart.

-Pascal Dupuis shares Stanley Cup with family, friends, Aug 2016

5. In 2011, Crosby was out of the lineup with a concussion, and the Penguins made their annual visit to Children’s Hospital.

Crosby got along so well with one boy there and was so touched that he later asked Bullano to go back... just the two of them, no cameras, no attention.

When Bullano and Crosby met for the follow-up visit, Crosby appeared clutching a pair of Toys “R” Us bags, filled with a Transformer toy the two had discussed.

“He literally bought every type of this toy they make,” Bullano said. “[Crosby] had never seen it before and thought it was so cool.

“There are no pictures of this. There’s no video. He was laying in the bed with the kid. They were just playing. We were there for over two hours. I got to know the mom really well because we were just sitting there.

“The kid had no idea. Didn’t expect it. They had no idea he was coming. We got there and he said, ‘Hey buddy. hope you don’t mind that I came back.’ The kid couldn’t believe it.

“[Crosby’s] crazy cool about stuff like that.”

What’s crazy is trying to recount the many times stuff like this has happened with Crosby:

• The Little Penguins Learn to Play program has been around for nine seasons, outfitting now 1,200 kids with free head-to-toe hockey equipment. Not only does Crosby serve as the face of the program — which the NHL has now adopted — but he helps fund it, too.

“There’s an awareness of what a person in his position can bring,” Penguins vice president of communications Tom McMillan said. “I think he activates that as much as anybody I’ve seen during his playing career.”

• After a recent practice, Crosby noticed a local family in the Penguins dressing room, approached them, introduced himself, learned their story and wound up giving them a signed stick.

Nobody asked Crosby to do that, and he wanted zero credit when discussing it a couple days later.

“For people who have the opportunity to come in here, people dealing with certain things, if you can brighten their day a bit or spend some time with them, it’s something that’s special for all of us,” Crosby said.

• A few years ago, through a team charity event, Crosby befriended a 4-year-old Amish boy with cancer. Crosby remarked to Bullano how much he loved talking to the boy because of how engaging the boy was and how he wasn’t consumed with technology. Crosby even tried to visit the boy but learned he had passed away.

• He learns the first and last names of the kids who attend his hockey school in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia.

“Two kids came from Japan its first year,” Bullano recalled. “He was so blown away by that. He couldn’t wait to meet them.”

• Earlier this season, the Penguins welcomed Grant Chupinka, 24-year-old cancer patient, into the dressing room. Crosby chatted up Grant and his parents, Steve and Kim.

He spent his usual time — about two or three times the requirement. Gave the tour. Then found out the Chupinkas didn’t have tickets for that night’s game and decided he would pay for them to go.

“I’m sure he could just give them an autographed puck or something, but he takes his time to go out and see them and talk to them and get to know them,” Brian Dumoulin said. “It speaks volumes for him and who he is as a person.”

Spend any length of time with Crosby during his visits with those less fortunate, and a few things become obvious.

One, Crosby is really good at these. Smooth but not in a slimy way. Sweet. You know how when you’re around someone talking and they go out of their way to make eye contact with everyone around? That’s Crosby.

He’s also humble, always introducing himself like those he’s meeting don’t already know. Holding a hand is no issue. And Crosby is the rare 20-something pro athlete without kids who acts every bit like he does.

“It is not an easy situation to talk to someone with terminal cancer,” McMillan said. “A lot of people couldn’t do that. He has an amazing ability to do that and make that person feel good.”

Crosby has welcomed several Make-a-Wish kids and tries, if at all possible, to schedule such events for practice days — to maximize the time he’s able to spend.

He’s developed a special friendship with Patrick McIlvain, a soldier who nearly died when he took a bullet to the head in Afghanistan. McIlvain actually does physical therapy with one of Crosby’s sticks.

A former club hockey player at Cal U, McIlvain comes by every year, and the Penguins don’t even bother to tell Crosby. Either he already knows or immediately stops what he’s doing to come say hello.

“He’s not doing it to leave a legacy,” said Terry Kalna, Penguins vice president of sales and broadcasting. “His numbers leave the legacy. He’s just a down-to-Earth, good guy.”

Before a visit, Crosby has Bullano email him what is essentially a scouting report on who he’s going to meet. He likes to learn about them, their situation and what they’ve been through. As much information as he can ingest. Crosby never just swoops in, shake a hand and leave.

“As much as anyone has ever seen, he accepts the responsibilities of being not just a professional athlete but a star professional athlete,” McMillan said. “He views it as part of the job. Like coming to the morning skate. That’s just what you do.”

Put another way, “he owns those moments,” says Kalna.

Said Bullano, “He’s just a good human being.”

-When it comes to giving, Sidney Crosby does as much as he can, Feb 2017

6. When Crosby received a generous signing bonus on his Reebok deal, he wanted to share it with everyone.

“He gave everyone on the bus gifts,”  says Oceanic radio commentator Michel Germain. “Him sharing his bonus with all the people he’d been travelling with for two years, that impresses me greatly. I think the most important thing about Sidney Crosby is his personality and the kind of human being he is. What he exuded. The inner richness he’d already developed.” 

-Superstitious and generous, Dec 2006

7. also this simply because it makes me ;w;

Even in defeat — no, especially in defeat — Sidney Crosby proved why he wears the "C" for the Penguins.

After the game, with his heart sinking and his season over, the Penguins’ captain bent over, sank to the ice to pick up the puck, took it to linesman Tony Sericolo and then skated to his team’s handshake line.

I immediately thought of a View from Ice Level I’d written on Crosby making sure a retiring official was sent away from PPG Paints Arena properly. I knew picking up the puck wasn’t for the same reason that was, but I also knew, in some way, it was connected to Crosby’s awareness and respect of the game.

“It was for the Islanders,” Crosby told me after the game, his eyes swollen from a first round exit – by way of a sweep to make it worse. He told me how the winning team always wanted the puck, and it was his way of providing it for the Islanders.

Crosby looked me right in the eye as he told me this, just as he did with every other member of the media to come to him after the loss.

I could tell from those swollen eyes and the way he sat at his stall, by himself with his hands folded as he stared blankly, that Sidney Crosby is much more used to being on the receiving end of a puck when a series ends than he is at retrieving it for the winning team.

That scene. His swollen eyes. Staying in the locker room until most had left – talking to anyone who needed him. Most of all, though, picking up the puck that prompted my question in the first place and making sure the right people got their piece of their own history.

It all adds up to one thing: In victory and in defeat, Crosby respects the game above all else – just as he’s always done.

-Even in defeat, Crosby shines, April 2019

[themagichour]

I have a really bad case of Covid, despite being vaxxed and boosted. Have spent the morning contacting my surgeon’s office and my GP’s office, neither have gotten back to me yet. I finally did an on-demand virtual visit and the NP told me to go to the ER since last night my broken ankle swelled like crazy and hurt and was burning hot to the touch and bright red. But I’d had a fever I couldn’t get under control all night, and my foot went back down to its previous degree of swelling once the fever broke this morning. I’m assuming the two are correlated.

NP said I could have an infection in my ankle and/or blood clots, that they would do an ultrasound at the ER. But my entire leg is in a cast, so idk how they’d do that unless they’d want to take my cast off and change it — but the casts need to be set in a very specific way, and the cast techs at my surgeon’s office know what to do.

I just don’t think there’s any reason to go to the ER.

Wasn’t offered Paxlovid, I’m young and have no risk factors. But I thought maybe being 3 weeks out from reconstructive ankle surgery would be a risk factor. idk.

I have an appointment on the 8th to have x-rays done and my cast changed OR a boot put on, depending upon how much has healed. They told me if I test negative the day of, I can keep the appointment.

It’s all a clusterfuck and I am so sick and in so much ankle/foot pain. Haven’t felt this sick since the Great Dorm Room Swine Flu Outbreak of ‘09.

Something out there in the universe just needs to cut me some slack. I deserve it many times over.

This is petty, but I wish my Dad would apologize to me. I broke my ankle a couple weeks before my parents were set to leave for a 2-week vacation, and he was mad at me for having an ACCIDENT because he feared it meant he wouldn’t be able to go on the trip.

I begged them to reschedule, but they wouldn’t. My Dad was going to Comic Con, and they were meeting up with our friends in San Diego. Plus they spent a bunch of time just puttering about LA because we moved away 2 years ago and they miss it.

Meanwhile I had to fend for myself for 2 weeks post-op and could barely feed myself and nearly fell over so many times.

Then my Dad comes back from Comic Con with Covid. A Covid hotbed. Why on earth would a 70-year-old man who has worried for 2 and a half years that he’ll catch Covid and die (he’s a type 1 diabetic with heart disease) EVER go to Comic Con.

And all that time, he was always so worried about ME catching it and spreading it to him and killing him. Then he flippantly comes home and rather than saying hi, announces, “Well, here’s something that’s going to affect your recovery: I have Covid.”

Dude.

I don’t deserve this.

[nevermindirah]

Dorothy Freeman facts

By facts I of course mean headcanons, because Nile's mom doesn't get a first name in canon (or even confirmation that her last name is Freeman). All we know about her is the picture on Nile's phone lock screen (which is Kiki Layne's real-life mom and brother!) and a few lines that Nile tells Andy about her. I’ve been collecting my Dorothy headcanons for a while now to eventually make a post, and @mprosperossprite​‘s excellent post giving non-Americans context for what it means that Nile is from the South Side of Chicago prompted me to go ahead and share this. Disclaimer that I’m white and I will absolutely make corrections if it’s pointed out that I’ve caused harm with any of this.

So here have some fun facts about the version of Mama Freeman who lives in my head rent-free:

Her family and growing up:

she was born in the mid-'60s and named after Dorothy Dandridge

I can’t decide whether she was born in Chicago or moved there later on (maybe with Nile’s dad?) and when in the waves of the Great Migration her family left the South

she came of age in the "post"-Civil Rights movement and went to college in the mid-80s when a lot of what are now the foundational classics of Black feminism were being written

she was a young adult when Anita Hill risked so much to report that a Supreme Court nominee had sexually harassed her, and as a result she HATES Joe Biden

Marriage and babies:

she met Nile's father — I can’t decide how they met and I have two competing headcanons for his name, either Gideon for the hefty Biblical masculinity vibes (Giddy for short among family, that man loved to laugh) or Carl, which started out as a shitty Carl’s Jr burger chain joke that turns out to be perfect (it means free man!), and @knoepfchen​ used it in the sequel to if you do take a thief where Carl is alive!! — and Dorothy was a little skeptical of his near-religious devotion to the military but he was really hot and really devoted to her and they made it work

she's a little pissed that she was right but it's unbearable if she thinks about it too often

it's going to be a long, long time before she can look back on pictures of Baby Nile stomping around the house in her dad's combat boots (this is a Gina Prince Bythewood headcanon, whyyyyyyyy can I not find a link to where she said this)

she named their second baby Indus, Indy for short (this is nearly as established fanon in Book of Nile circles as how much Booker loves eating pussy, and Indy Freeman as a young adult is portrayed by either Aldis Hodge or John Boyega I don’t make the rules)

Work:

Dorothy did some office jobs but nothing really grabbed her, and she was probably gonna have to move for her husband's career, so she decided on teaching — high school humanities

she’s been active in CTU (one of the strongest teacher’s unions in the US) her whole career and one year she was on the bargaining committee and her babies know damn well never to trust a boss, not even one who says all the right things — if she ever finds out the way Nile said "like Quynh?" when Andy promised to protect her, she will lose her mind with pride

(Nile was 18 and freshly graduated from high school in 2012 when CTU went on strike for the first time in a generation and she brought her mom snacks on the picket line)

one of her very favorite things is getting her students to laugh despite themselves at her "oh my GOD you're so EMBARRASSING" old-people jokes

she's one of those teachers who can get 30+ teenagers to go dead silent with judicious application of body language

she's known to occasionally go easy on grading subjective things like essays when she knows students are having a particularly rough time at home, but the second she gets the feeling they're taking advantage and not trying their best that shit is over and they better mind their Ps & Qs

she's the kind of person who says old-people shit like that

she gives her students assignments like "help 5 neighbors register to vote" and "write a compare/contrast table about the candidates in this local election" and "research 5 different ways you could get grant money to do X" and other practical civic-minded shit

standardized testing is her supervillain origin story, just kidding it’s Rahm Emanuel, why the fuck did Obama trust that asshole

After her husband died:

she would have lost her goddamn mind if it weren't for her church friends after her husband died, people from the church raised money so they could make ends meet while his pension paperwork was taking forever, church friends watched Indy so Nile could go out for the soccer team, etc etc

she sold her and her late husband's house and moved to a 3-bedroom co-op unit when Nile started high school, it's more affordable and it meant she didn't have to worry about household repairs in the same way, she can use a wrench if she needs to but she doesn't have time and it just makes her grief flare up (co-op housing has a long history in Chicago and other US cities (like Washington DC where I live) as a way for Black people to access decent, affordable housing in the face of entrenched discrimination)

the move meant putting a longer commute between her and church, but she didn't even bother looking for a church closer to their new home, she loaded the kids into the car on the weekends, parking is hell in their new neighborhood but it's worth giving up a hard-won parking spot to not have to wait so long for the L on Sunday mornings

Indy lived with her through college and he was gearing up to get his own place when Nile died, Dorothy was planning to move into a one-bedroom in the co-op building because she doesn't need so much space anymore, Indy took a day off from his new job (not so new anymore, her baby's so grown!) to help her sort things to donate when those dress-uniform Marines came to their door

part of her wishes she could've been home more and not had to rely on Nile so much for help with Indy, but he's turned out such a kind young man, and he's a much better cook than his sister is (was, oh God — no wait, is! she’s alive! what do you mean you’ve been alive all this time??)

some of the girls from church are encouraging her to check out this social dancing thing, nobody's pressuring her to date but there's definitely been some ribbing, and with Indy out of the house... maybe? probably not, but maybe

Her feelings and beliefs and likes and dislikes:

she's an absolute badass and also she's a soft human woman with lots of feelings

she's very, very traditional in some ways, and part of her mixed feelings about Nile following in her dad's footsteps is gender stuff, she's proud of her daughter and would never stand in the way of what Nile wants to do with her life, and if Nile came home and told her she's a lesbian she would never reject her, but if Nile came home and told her she's bisexual maybe she can just try focusing on men? “I love you sweetheart and I want you to be happy I just know how hard it is already for us in this world” type shit

she has been on team natural hair basically her entire life and one of the worst fights she and Nile ever had was over Nile wanting to straighten her hair as a pre-teen

Indy takes more after her and Nile takes more after their dad, she's so proud of both of them, but Dorothy's activism was mostly wearing her natural hair to work and daring bosses to give her shit, Indy's out there marching in the streets like her parents had and she WORRIES

she teases Indy for going to so many protests like he's using it as an excuse to meet girls, but she WORRIES

when she turns 60, she gets box braids with streaks of dark purple, subtle enough that it's still work-appropriate but it makes her smile, she may be old now but damnit she’s still pretty!

she loves Grey's Anatomy and Star Trek and she watched Bridgerton all in one day

she has a dirty-old-lady celebrity crush on Chris Hemsworth

if she's ever masturbated thinking about Donna Summer, well, that's nobody's business but her own (do non-Americans know about the queen of disco??)

If you want to read fic featuring Dorothy:

I won't have to leave alone, 1000 words, Nile has a nightmare and decides to go tell her family she's immortal

I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore, 65k, Nile adjusts to immortality and does a lot of soul searching about what it means to "do what we think is right", Booker goes to grad school for trauma studies, the working title of this fic was Booker Reads Edward Said and Gloria Anzaldúa and Goes Down on Nile and the final product has an annotated bibliography in the author's notes if you’re into that kind of thing, a lot of my Dorothy Freeman headcanons were born of my process writing this

Gather round the table, we'll give you a treat, 2279 words, college AU, Nile brings her Jewish boyfriend home for Christmas

a contribution I made to Shitty Old Guard Deaths: (Booker, USA, 2025, cause of death: a mother’s righteous wrath)

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. I know it won't happen, but I do wish maybe around the fourth year anniversary of LO in March Rachel would put it on a mid-season hiatus and take a real, long break off. Maybe not a year, but definitely several months, maybe half a year at bare minimum. Going literal /years/ without a real break to just relax and recharge cannot be good physically, mentally, or emotionally, and she has enough of a dedicated fanbase that it won't hurt it's numbers. If not for the comic's sake, then for herself.

2. whats annoying to me about people being mad at "antis" is like none of these blogs or discords would even need to exist if these same people actually let real discussion and critique be allowed in the fan spaces without fear of doxxing, harassment, and threats? most of the critique isnt even particularity bad, but they act like you personally killed their mother right in front of them and force you out, then get mad people have to create blogs like this just to talk? you cant win with them.

3. Didn't realize Rachel was against fan edits of the comic. she must have gotten too jealous of how much better @nymphsupremacy is at their editing work 💀

From OP: I think RS is more against people editing/reposting any artwork she makes of the comic outside of webtoon (not all the time but most times from what I’ve seen). I can see why she’d be annoyed since some fans see her draw anything LO related and think it’s fine to edit/repost it.

Also, stan @nymphsupremacy!

4. IDK how RS has nearly 200k twitter followers yet most of her tweets a best only break about 5k likes. Same on instagram which has over 657k followers yet her posts only get about 50k likes. Like that's less than 10% of her followers on either app actually liking and engaging with her posts. Like LO fanart gets more traction than her own posts. That's just odd to me.

From OP: Tbf, that happens to a lot of artists (especially on insta). I can’t count the amount of times I’ve seen artists move accs because of the lack of engagement.

5. It might just be me but does it just seem RS seems really burned out/miserable in most of her social media posts now? Like you can just look at her old asks on this blog and see she was far more chipper in her older responses, but now recent stuff seems so blunt. Even her celebrating something good is just so devoid of joy. Episode announcements are also just like "ok go read it now" and that's about it? IDK, I just feel like she needs a serious break, especially in the New Year.

From OP: I think that has to do with the success of the comic. The bigger LO got, the more work RS has to do since she is no longer a small creator. But that’s just what I think.

6. I think the "Homer would love LO" comment is even dumber bc one) If he existed (A lot fo scholars don't think he did) he would hate every non-Greek retelling, much less LO, but more so two) Wasn't a big selling point to LO that it "reclaims mythology from the misogynistic men of ancient times" like? So why would you claim Homer, a misogynistic man from ancient times, would love it then? Isn't that exactly the person you WOULDN'T want to love your story? Shouldn't you want him to hate it instead?

7. deadass tho didnt rachel go to art school? one of the main things they do there (or tbh anny art class) is critique. its required for every project so you learn what you did wrong and to learn from it. did se seriously go her entire art education and not get critique? or was she just coddled by her teachers or something? bc it just doesnt line up.

8. girl i just read the last chapter and omg i can't believe they really did the whole "Hades baby look at me this isn't you uwu" thing 💀💀💀

9. do they want us to call out the guys too because i will. hades is easily the worst character in the whole series, he has only become worse and worse as time goes on, and his relationship to persephone is a disaster waiting to happen. thanatos was and still is abused by him. apollo is a terrible villain with zero drip. zeus isnt actually wrong. poseidon deserves better. hermes deserves better. ares looks like a rotten orange. hephaestus is not actual  disability rep no matter what rachel says.

10. LO is really heading into the 200 episode range with no end in sight. The trial still isn't even done! They haven't even touched on Semele, Eros and Psyche, Leto trying to make Apollo take down Zeus, or Kronos! Or even the main myth with Demeter! Like is that another 2-4 years of content then, if not more? When is it ever supposed to end? How is any of this supposed to wrap up without it being rushed and/or most of these plots left with no conclusion? Even HxP isn't technically together by now!

[cudan2]

One Last Surgery

Spring Break Shadowing Part 5.1

Carlisle Cullen x Reader

Word Count: 2,043

Summary: You finally find out the reason for going to the children’s hospital, but you’re more distracted than usual today and Dr. Cullen can tell. 

A/N: Tell me why part 5 of SBS takes up over half of the whole series? I’ve had this sitting in my drafts for 5 months because I keep adding more to it smh. Now it’s too long so I’ve decided to split it up into 3 parts (in addition to parts 6 and 7). I’m making the final edits the rest of this part now - 5.2 should be posted in like two days.

Anyways, this is technically the beginning of  #1 and #2 on my headcanon list.

Masterlist

XXX

Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital is only across the street from Doctor Cullen’s office, but it seems to take forever to get there. You trail the doctor like a lost puppy through a skyway and a series of corridors before eventually reaching the right building. Different is definitely an understatement.

Gone are the linoleum-tiled floors, the abstract paintings lining the hallways, and the stark white walls. Instead, there are bright colors everywhere you look. Artwork featuring various galaxies and planets scatter throughout the hospital, and giant stars are imprinted along the floors; even the whole atmosphere just feels different.

You don’t get much time to analyze the differences though. Doctor Cullen is wasting no time to reach the destination, and his long legs aren’t making it any easier to keep up.

“Not that I don’t like surprises, but any chance you can tell me what we’re doing in the children’s hospital now?”

“Impatient, are we?” Doctor Cullen chuckles. He stops at an elevator and pushes the up button, only giving into your question once he catches a glimpse of your pout. “Alright, you win. Are you familiar with a cleft palate or cleft lip?”

The elevator dings, the doors sliding open with it. You shake your head no and get on the elevator with him. He presses the button for the floor and then leans against the wall, arms outstretched on the handrail, and gives you an explanation. 

“A cleft is a gap or split occurring in the roof of the mouth, upper lip, or both. It is due to improper joining of the tissue during fetal development. There are no definitive known causes as of right now, but it’s believed that the environment and genetics can play a role.

The hospital has its own craniofacial team, but I was asked to join this particular case given its more complicated nature. Hanna became one of the first patients I treated when I came to Columbia,” Doctor Cullen finishes fondly, a smile gracing his lips.

“What makes this case complicated?” you ask.

“Hanna was born with a bilateral complete cleft lip and palate, meaning her lip cleft is two-sided and continues into her nose. It took quite a few surgeries to repair the lip, but now the next step is to repair the palate.”

The elevator reaches the floor and dings. You follow Doctor Cullen out and continue prodding him with more questions, which he is more than eager to answer. It’s incredible how knowledgeable he is. Granted, it is his job to know these things, but you couldn’t begin to imagine yourself being able to even scratch the surface of these topics, not to mention give a mini lecture on it.

You’re soon standing at the door to a patient room while the doctor asks Hanna’s parents if you can observe. They readily agree, and Doctor Cullen motions for you to come in.

Inside the room, you see an infant that can’t be more than a year old – Hanna.  She’s sitting upright on the bed, leaning against who you assume to be her father. You notice two fading scars going up into her nose above her lip. Her mother is waving a stuffed toy around her, but Hanna’s attention is fixated on the blonde doctor.

“Y/N, allow me to introduce you to Hanna’s parents, Anthony and Linh Pham. And this is Doctor Giselle Adamou, who will be working with me on the surgery,” Doctor Cullen gestures to the older doctor in the room.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” you say politely.

Pre-op goes differently than what you’ve gotten used to observing this week. There is no case presenting given the lack of residents on the case. If anything, this is what you would expect out of a non-teaching hospital.

Doctor Cullen re-explains the procedures to Hanna’s parents, but halfway through, Hanna crawls to the end of the bed where Doctor Cullen is and attempts to stand, arms outstretched as if to say, “Up! Up!” Bewilderment is not a word you would have associated with him, and yet you catch the brief widening of his eyes that betray his usually calm demeanor.

“I think she wants you to hold her,” Linh comments.

“I can see,” Doctor Cullen muses. “Do you mind?”

“She’s all yours.” Linh picks her daughter up from the bed and hands her to the doctor. The sound of Hanna’s elated laughter fills the room, and you can’t stop a small smile from appearing on your own face. A cute baby and a gorgeous doctor? You don’t know who to thank for the sight.

Meanwhile, Hanna starts playing with various pens in Doctor Cullen’s breast pocket while Doctor Adamou continues where her colleague left off. You try to pay attention, you really do. Like Hanna though, your attention lies on someone else, and that someone else happens to be Doctor Cullen.

The more you study him, the more the minute features you never noticed about him before seem to pop out to you. Under the bright fluorescent lighting of the hospital, the dark purple circles under his eyes are more apparent than ever. How ironic for the preacher of health to lack sleep himself. His eyes, which you normally consider to be a vivid golden, are darker than you initially thought them to be. They are liquid pools of dark amber, speckled with dustings of gold and flecks of black. There isn’t a single blemish on his face that you can see either, further confirming your belief that this man is truly the most attractive person you have ever met. Either that or he must have one hell of a skincare routine.

It’s unnerving how young his appearance is. Skincare and diet can only do so much for a person, right? Doctor Cullen has to be at least 35 at the minimum, yet he could easily pass off as someone from your own school.

“Any last minute questions?” you hear Doctor Adamou ask and snap back into reality. By missing nearly everything the older doctor talked about, you already know you’ll be so screwed if and when Doctor Cullen decides to interrogate you on this case.

Neither parent has anything left to say, so Doctor Cullen gives a reluctant Hanna back to her mother. She lets out a cry and his expression softens.

“I know, sweetheart. I’ll miss you too, but I need to get ready for your big surgery, okay? I promise you’ll see me again in a few hours.” His soothing voice does wonders for her. In an instant, Hanna quiets down and her frown is replaced with giggles and smiles again. She waves the two of you off, and you both take your leave with Doctor Adamou trailing behind you. You’re not even halfway out the door yet when Doctor Cullen starts testing your knowledge again.

“Y/N, what procedure will we be doing to repair Hanna’s cleft?” 

You do not have this one in the bag whatsoever. You wrack your brain for information that could help you, but Doctor Adamou interjects before you get a chance to say anything.

“Why does it not surprise me that you’re treating students like interns already, Carlisle?”

“I am merely advancing the education of next generation’s doctors,” he responds.

“Whatever you say,” she laughs. “Don’t scare off Y/N though, or we won’t have any doctors left in the next generation.” She turns to you after picking up files from a nearby counter and says, “You come running to me if he pushes you too hard, alright?”

You grin. “For sure.”

“Good. I look forward to seeing you both in the OR,” she says before heading off.

You like Doctor Adamou. Each surgeon you’ve met here so far has had such different personalities, yet each also has the charisma and confidence to take control of a room and command respect. You, on the other hand, could barely get your own friends to listen to your own words. How are you ever going to get on the level of all the amazing doctors around you?

“She saved you there,” Doctor Cullen comments, leafing through Hanna’s charts as he walks you into an empty elevator to the operating floor. Oops, it’s just your luck that he noticed your lack of attention during the pre-op. “It’s unlike you to be distracted. Penny for your thoughts?”

The elevator doors shut, and he looks up from the chart, his eyes falling onto yours. He has that twinkle in his eyes again – the one that brings warmth to your cheeks and could make anyone weak in their knees. You know it’s silly, but a single look from him could make you spill any of your deepest and darkest secrets, yet a part of you also knows that he would keep it. You’re not naïve – you know it’s dangerous to put so much faith into a man you only met this week – but there’s something about him that told your instincts to trust him from the very beginning.

Call it intuition, or maybe it’s just plain stupidity, but you sure as hell aren’t going to tell him about how you got distracted because of his pretty face.

You hesitate for a moment and let out a sigh. “How do you do it?” He quirks a brow, momentarily perplexed, and you attempt to find the right words. “How do you make all of this look so easy? How do you know what the right thing to say is? Or trust that what you’re doing is even right? How did you know if this was all meant for you? This is really dumb, but it seems like everyone here was born for this job, and then there’s... me.”

There’s a slight sense of dread starting to form in your stomach. You’re unsure if what you asked even made any sort of sense and wonder if you gave too much away. Giving any reason to second guess your abilities is like digging your own grave when it comes to this career. Expressing uncertainty is one of the biggest taboos of the cutthroat world that is pre-med because schools would not accept students that aren’t absolutely, totally, and completely sure about this path.

You’ve wanted this for so long, yet there’s still a part of you that doubts if you would be enough.

Rather than going straight to gowning and scrubbing in for the surgery, Doctor Cullen grabs your hand and leads you down to an abandoned hallway, only letting go once the two of you are hidden in an alcove away from any prying ears or eyes.

“What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be getting ready for surgery?”

“We have a few minutes to spare. Y/N, please know that I understand how you feel,” he says softly. “There was a time when I questioned my own abilities as well… whether my perseverance could overcome adversity. It took quite some time to reach where I am today.  However, without enduring those trials and tribulations, I would not be here. With time comes experience, and it is that experience that allows me to perform my job the best I can.”

His voice reminds you of a gentle breeze, rustling the leaves of a tree on a cool summer night when he continues speaking in hushed tones. It brings a blanket of reassurance, a sense that things would eventually be alright.

“I have said this before, but I see enormous potential in you. You still have a great deal of time to grow and develop your skills. It’s easy to get caught up in comparing yourself with others, especially given today’s societal standards, but I believe you are much more capable than you may think you are. Everyone’s journey is different and yours may not necessarily be as linear as you would prefer. In due time though, I have faith that you will succeed.”

What he says is exactly what you needed to hear.

The swell of tears pricks at your eyes and start blurring your vision, but you blink them away quickly, fighting the urge to wrap your arms around the doctor. 

“Thank you, Doctor Cullen.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

“You’re very welcome. Now, I believe there’s a little girl waiting on us.” 

XXX

Tag List - Message me to be added or removed to either this series or the rest of my fics!

@jelly-fishy-babie @notahappytree @anxiousgoldengirl

[werenotadulting]

Routine Procedure - Finale

Author's note - Hope you enjoyed!

Part 7 - Kate

If you'd asked her, Kate wouldn't have been able to tell what exactly had gotten her interested in it.

Maybe it was the idea of the power dynamic. She had always been one of those girls labeled as 'bossy' growing up, which was a misogynistic way of saying that she wasn't afraid to speak up and speak her mind.

Or maybe it was the subversion of expectations of a traditional relationship that did it for her. The idea that she was the one in control, the one making all the decisions.

Maybe it was the fact that it was so taboo and kinky that appealed to her. It didnt really matter, whatever the reason.

Kate was into being a Mommy Domme, and Kate found nothing hotter than having a diapered little bitch boy to call her own.

The ultimate fantasy was teaching the boy to love and trust his diapers. Make him associate orgasming with wet diapers and diaper changes. Create a leaking "accident" in public so he learns that while thicker diapers might increase the risk of being noticed, they save you from the embarrassment of wet pants.

Of course, she had considered bringing up her desires to Mike, but based off of past experiences, she didn't want to chance it. Mike was just too perfect of a guy to risk blowing it like that.

She had always been the dominant one in bed, with Mike eagerly submitting to her every whim, so she knew they were sexually compatible. It had never gone past light bondage though, and Kate was starting to get an itch that handcuffs and blindfolds just wouldn't scratch.

────────

It had come up entirely by chance, one day while she was scrolling through an obscure ABDL forum.

The post read: "Biomedical engineer here, and I think I've figured out a way to induce instant, semi-permanent incontinence."

The post was over 3 days old, and only had two comments on it. The first was from a mod, basically saying to take everyone's posts with a grain of salt. The second was from the OP, about 24 hours after the original post.

"I know it sounds like a fantasy, but I'm pretty confident it will work. I've had a career in medical devices for the last 8 years, specializing in the urology space. I don't want to get too deep into the details on here, so just PM me of you're interested."

Kate rolled her eyes.

Everyone in this community is so hooked on the 'I want to be instantly incontinent' thing, and all it ever ends up being is some silly fap content, she thought to herself.

"You know what, let's feed the troll and see what bites," she muttered.

Liv2DomU: ok spill, what's your magical method?

PrinceOfPadding: this for you, or someone else?

Liv: hypothetically, let's say it's for a boyfriend

Prince: Ahh okay. Very interesting. Well, like I said, I've worked in med device for awhile, and I've recently started my own company. I primarily work in the urology space, catheters, scopes, that kind of stuff.

Liv: hmm hate to break it to u bud, but catheters kinda already exist

Prince: oh sure, catheters exist, but my idea is to bridge the catheter world with the stent world

Liv: sounds idk...sketchy? illegal?

As she read more, Kate was beginning to think that this guy might not be as full of crap as she had initially thought. He had his own start-up, which had already launched a Foley catheter to the market. It was all above-board and legit.

Prince: so, for the aspiring incontinent-person-to-be, the ring is positioned with a catheter, and stays in place once the Foley is removed. Then overtime, probably a month at minimum, depending on the chemical makeup and customer desire, the ring breaks down and is naturally absorbed into the body. And they all sign a consent form saying they accept the risks of such a procedure.

Liv: so then once it's dissolved they are back to being being able to control their bladder?

Prince: that's the theory, yes

Liv: theory?

Prince: well, dissolvable stent technology present state takes like 18 months to break down, and the manufacturing of it is patented and kept under lock and key

Liv: so basically all you have to offer is a catheter lol

Prince: well no. I've got some good leads on dissolvable compounds, but I've got to do trials of the rings first to see if it would even work. I've promised free diapers for the first few months if people sign up, but it's been hard to get subjects

Liv: so these trial rings wouldn't dissolve?

Prince: nope

Liv: meaning my hypothetical boyfriend would be....?

Prince: permanently diaper dependent, yeah

────────

In the end Kate was curious enough that she was willing to hear the guy out.

He'd asked for a mailing address and her phone number. The first was to send proof that his company was real, and the second was just to keep in contact should she decide to proceed.

It all made sense, at least in theory. Foley catheters were safe, provided they were inserted by a trained healthcare professional. A normal person would get a normal catheter just like everyone else. But an ABDL would be signing up for what was essentially an intentionally faulty catheter.

Assuming they knew they were willingly signing up for it.

When asked about 'accidental' ring implants, Prince had basically said, hey, people really need to learn to read the fine print.

────────

I walked out to the mailbox. I've been expecting test results back from the scan I'd had a few weeks back. Opening up the box, I noticed a large envelope with my hospital's address on the front.

About time, I thought, grabbing the envelope and the rest of the mail.

I walked back into the house, where Kate was making herself a cup of tea.

"Anything good in the mail?" she asked, taking a sip from her mug.

I listed them aloud as I started to flip though the mail, "Looks like some junk mail, an internet bill, a brochure for some UroVention medical thing, and last but not least, my test results."

I dropped the rest of the mail on the counter and started to open up my scan results. As I was reading, Kate walked over and began sorting through the other mail.

"Oh good, they said it's benign, but they're still worried about the location. They're recommending removal, just to be on the safe side."

"Removal for something benign? That sounds odd, but whatever," Kate said, tucking something into her back pocket.

"I'm not too worried. It sounds like it should be a pretty routine procedure."

────────

Part 8 - Mike

I sat down on the couch, my diaper squishing underneath me. Kate had taken to putting two stuffers in my diaper, even though these Tykables could already hold a lot. The warm, comforting feeling of my wet diaper started to turn me on, just like it did every time I realized how wet I was or if I was about to get a change. Not that I could do anything about it, though.

I flipped open the laptop and signed in. It would probably be a good hour before Kate got back from the store. Apparently I was being downgraded from sippy cups to bottles.

Once logged in, I noticed that the screen was still up to the site where Kate had last been. It was another diaper order, this time a case of Megamaxes. I felt my cheeks start to heat up, seeing that Kate had chosen the pink color for the whole case.

I opened up a private window, and navigated to KinkLink. My profile on here was pretty bare. It always had been, just containing my age, gender, and some basic interests. I hadn't even bothered to post a picture when I set it up. I preferred to look at other people's profiles rather than post things of my own.

I was always intrigued by people's locations and how close they were to where I lived. One such person who I came back to check the posts of daily was a mommy domme, who it happened lived in my town. Her first posts, from nearly three years ago, were what had first caught my attention.

'Every night I dream about finding my perfect diaper slut. He will wake up to me rubbing his thick, soggy padding, the little bedwetter that I turned him into.'

'Picture this: You, in a wet diaper and nothing else. Me, in my black lingerie with a strap on. Do I have any volunteers?'

'Have no doubt, if you date me, it's diapers forever. There's no "only at home" or "but my parents are coming over". Maybe I'll just find a way to make you incontinent. Then you won't have an excuse.'

And then there were the pictures. She never would show her face, but she didn't need to.. She wasn't lying about the black lingerie. It left very little to the imagination. Then the next picture, where the bra came off, and she was just in her lacy panties, her pierced nipples and tattoos on display. Maybe it was the octopus tattoo on her arm, my favorite animal, that made her stick out to me.

But there was one post that I always came back to and was entranced by. It was a picture of her holding an ABU Kiddo, right below her breasts. She wasn't wearing any clothing.

'Aww baby, did you wet the bed? I think we should probably put you in some protection.'

────────

I stood in line at the coffee shop. It wasn't too busy for a Tuesday at 9 a.m., only two people were ahead of me. As the first person in line got her coffee and the second lady stepped up to place her order, I checked my phone. Still a half hour before I needed to be at work, I had some time to sit and enjoy my drink. I got my usual and went off to a booth in the corner.

"Excuse me, but do you happen to know what the Wi-Fi password is here?"

I looked up to see the woman who had been in front of me in line.

"Oh um, yeah it's....oh I think they just changed it. Try 'PINTO'. They always pick some sort of bean, I think they find it amusing, but it's never a coffee bean..." I trailed off.

She smiled, "Oh thank you so much, yeah I'll try that."

My mouth fell open is shock.

"I uhhh...I like your tattoo," I said. "They're my, um, favorite animal."

"Oh mine too! Isn't the octopus, like, the coolest animal?"

"D-definitely. Hey, would you like to sit with me? I'm just hanging out while I wait for work. My name is Mike by the way."

"That sounds really nice. Thank you, Mike. I'm Kate."

[whump-tr0pes]

Jake/Isaac comf part 3/3

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Isaac Moore works in the pet lib movement, rescuing pets from the BBU. After an op goes sideways, he ends up on the doorstep of Jake Stanton’s safehouse for rescued pets, bleeding, and needing a safe place to lie low. Jake helps treat Isaac’s wounds and sets him up on the couch to sleep until Isaac’s medic can get into town. When he’s awoken by Isaac screaming in his sleep, he goes downstairs to investigate, and finds a kindred spirit in Isaac.

Jake, Chris, Antoni, and Ash’s BBU story belong to @ashintheairlikesnow and are used here with permission. You can find Isaac’s story here.

Content warning: touch starved Jake, accidentally flirty behavior, scars, past torture, past pet whump, implied conditioning, implied past noncon, implied death

~

Jake shivered as Isaac’s arm settled around his shoulders, a warm, welcome pressure. Isaac’s hand gently rested on Jake’s bicep, roughened and calloused. In spite of himself, Jake’s eyes fluttered shut, and he drew in a deep breath. 

“Sorry I punched you,” Isaac said softly, and Jake’s shoulders tensed. “I… I wouldn’t have, ah, done that if I—”

“I should have turned on the light,” Jake said, his voice settling in the smooth, even tone he used with frightened rescues. “I mean… Jesus, you showed up on my porch, bleeding, and I… I don’t know. It’s just… it’s alright,” Jake said, turning his head. Without planning on it, without meaning to… he nosed against Isaac’s shoulder, and pressed his lips to the shirt stretched over what Jake was sure was more scars.

Isaac went still. “I…”

“I’m sorry,” Jake said in a rush. He pulled away from Isaac, his face burning. “I… I’m not trying to, I mean, I’m sorry, you literally just said…” He trailed off in a tight, miserable silence. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, looking down at the pattern of the blanket pulled around him. “It’s just… nice to be touched.”

Isaac relaxed, pulled Jake closer. “Yeah,” he said softly. “Yeah, I… get that.”

“It’s just been a while. Since… anything.” I will never, never touch the rescues that way, and I don’t exactly have time for any other… anything…

Jake relaxed as he rested his head on Isaac’s shoulder, feeling just a little strange at being the one being held, this time. He was so used to being the one doing the holding. “You’re the world’s best big spoon,” a girlfriend had told him once, settling comfortably in his embrace. He breathed a sigh as Isaac leaned back against the arm of the couch until Jake was lying in his arms, with Isaac’s legs slung across Jake’s like he was sitting in his lap. Holding and being held. 

Jake found himself tracing one of the scars around Isaac’s wrist. He froze and dropped his hand.

“It’s okay,” Isaac said softly. “I’m… used to them, now.”

“What…” Jake’s mouth was dry. “Wh-what… happened?”

“There?” Isaac said softly, glancing at his wrist. Jake said nothing. After a moment, Isaac shrugged and tightened his arm around Jake’s shoulders. “Those were just from… fighting the cuffs. Over and over. After a while it leaves marks.”

Jake shivered as he thought of the marks below Kauri’s collarbones – and the lack of other marks, evidence of soft leather cuffs and silk rope and whispered promises that were never kept. His throat tightened as he imagined the entirely different kind of torture than the kind he was so used to dealing with, where shame and conditioning were more effective than any physical restraint.

I don’t think the ones like Isaac live to find us, he thought with an ache in his chest.

“And… and your stomach?” Jake said softly. 

Isaac shifted, but not uncomfortably – just adjusting where he sat on the couch. “Chest and stomach was a knife,” he murmured.

“Oh.” Jake’s voice shook. “And… wh-what else?”

When Isaac spoke, his voice was gentle, even, calm. As if he was speaking about someone else, something else, entirely. “Knife on the arms – cuts and burns. Back was the whip. And he… sometimes they’d just make him beat me, choke me. That usually didn’t leave marks. But I…” He rotated his left arm in its socket as if warding off an old ache. “When he got me out, he uh… kinda blew the place up.”

“What?” Jake gasped, sitting up slightly.

Isaac laughed softly. “Yeah. Gas. He turned on the gas for the burners in the kitchen and started a fire. When it finally blew…” Isaac’s eyes went distant. “A door exploded as we went through it. Tore up my shoulder. Gavin tells me I, um…” Isaac cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I nearly died.”

“Jesus,” Jake breathed. 

They both fell into a slightly tense silence. 

Still, with Isaac’s arms so tightly around him, with Isaac’s weight pressing down comfortably in Jake’s lap, a warmth moved slowly through him – a pleasant buzzing starting in his skin that made him feel sleepy and safe.

It made him feel safe.

Jake wet his lips and pressed his forehead against Isaac’s neck. Isaac’s arm tightened gently around Jake’s shoulders. 

“It’s… not your fault, you know,” Jake said softly. 

Isaac shrugged and said nothing, just stroked his other hand up and down Jake’s arm. 

Jake breathed slowly. “The… the rescues, I mean.”

Isaac went rigid against Jake. “Jake, I—”

“This is my life,” Jake said softly, heart sinking as Isaac’s skin seemed to cool against his. “Believe me, I… I know.” Slowly, he reached out and took Isaac’s hand. “It’s… not your fault.”

Isaac’s head tipped back, and Jake was certain he was trying to conceal tears. “Th-thanks, Jake,” he rasped.

Jake opened his mouth to push the issue, and found himself out of words to say. He knew nothing would ever soothe the pain if he lost a rescue, and Isaac had lost many. He laid his head back on Isaac’s shoulder and squeezed Isaac’s hand. Isaac sniffed, his head still tilted back. 

“I remember every single one,” Isaac said softly, and his voice broke.

Jake bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut. “Yeah?” he croaked.

Isaac nodded, and his stubble brushed against Jake’s cheek. “Every single rescue I lose. I remember them all.” His shoulders shook in a dry sob.

Jake lay still, his skin still warmed by Isaac’s touch, his torso shaking with Isaac’s sobs. He held his breath for a moment, lips trembling. “Do you remember the ones you save?” he said softly.

Isaac froze. He trembled in Jake’s arms, scarcely breathing. “Wh-what?”

Jake pulled away and met Isaac’s gaze. Tears swam in his eyes, and he looked up at Jake as if he had just thrown him a lifeline. Jake swallowed hard. “I remember the ones I save,” he whispered. “Every single one. Every name, every face. Some aren’t here for very long, some are here for years, but… I remember them. I remember them all.”

Isaac’s eyes darted between Jake’s. “Y-yeah?” he breathed. 

“Yeah,” Jake said as he settled in Isaac’s embrace again. Isaac’s arm was still tight around him, his hand still clasped in his, but it was a comfortable sort of silence. Jake settled even more as his muscles slowly relaxed, his breaths slowing, matching Isaac’s. Jake’s eyelids drooped shut as Isaac’s head fell back against the arm of the couch, drifted as Isaac started to snore. 

-

In the morning, Jake woke slowly, confused, sore. He blinked and looked around at the living room, lit by the soft grey of the coming dawn. He rubbed his eyes and sat up quickly as he suddenly remembered why he had fallen asleep on the couch. 

He was alone. The blankets were cold, his neck stiff from how it had twisted while he slept. He cast his gaze around the room, looking for Isaac. Hoping he’d stayed. 

Jake’s throat tightened as he saw the clothes he’d given Isaac, neatly folded in a stack on the coffee table. There was a single post-it note on top that Jake recognized from the stack in the kitchen, a single line of scrawl in black ink:

Thank you.

Jake raised his head to the sounds of feet on the floor above him. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. I should tell them they can come downstairs. They’re probably hungry and I...

Shit.

He groaned as he stood and made his way up the stairs. He saw a flash of copper hair as Chris peeked around the doorframe of his room and disappeared around it again. Antoni stood just inside the door, fixing Jake steadily with his almost-black, feline eyes. 

“Who was that, Jake?” Antoni asked softly. 

Chris bounced on his toes, tapping nervously at his stomach. “Wh-who, who, who was it? Was-was, was, was it…?” He chewed his lip as he focused his eyes just to the side of Jake’s face.

Jake tried to ignore the twist in his heart, the ache in his chest, the burn in his eyes. His lips trembled and he pressed them together. 

“A friend,” he said softly. “He was… a friend.”

[falquinold]

MY FORMAL DEMAND TO BE GIVEN THE RIGHTS TO (1) JOAQUIN TORRES.      ( AKA - The Big Canon Expansion Post™ )

steve vc: so.... you got played by the writers. you put your trust in them when you probably shouldn’t have. they lured you in with a false sense of security and promises of representation, and then ripped the carpet from below your feet. and the sad thing is... this isn’t the first time. 

hey! stupid opening aside, this is gonna be my explanation of torres’ backstory up to his presence in the falcon and the winter soldier, including the character arc that i believe he would have had if the show had been allowed to keep its original 10 episodes. this is mostly based around my own personal headcanons, so i please ask that you don’t steal or reblog this! 

anyway, putting it under a cut since it’s longer than i thought it’d be!

PART 1: PRE-IW.

like in the comics, joaquin immigrated to the united states from mexico with his mother and grandmother when he was 6 years old. they moved to sonoita, arizona, where they soon found a place to live and started to settle into their new life. while the first half of his school years consisted of him working twice as hard as any of his classmates due to the faults in the american public education system, he eventually shot up the class list, earning his spot as valedictorian by the end of his high school career. 

this caught the attention of multiple military recruiters, who came to his school with hopes of swaying as many teens (specifically teens of color) to join the forces as possible. with promises of great pay, free housing and healthcare for himself and his family, and the opportunity to use his intelligence to help ‘change the world for the better,’ the eager 17-year-old didn’t even have to think twice. that very same week that they showed up at his school, joaquin had taken the asvab test and passed with flying colors, soon putting in his application for the air force academy. 

the next 3 years went by in a flash - joaquin moved out of his home and to the academy in colorado, along with 1000 other teenagers who had found themselves in a similar position. he remained at the top 5% of his class, though all of his studies did nothing to prepare him for the day that thanos and his army broke through the atmosphere.

PART 2: IW --> ENDGAME.

in the 3 years that joaquin had been a student at the academy, the strict schedule of his day had never been broken. however, when the giant spaceship hovered over new york, thousands of students crowded around any available tv to stop and stare. he watched for what seemed like hours, frantically texting his mother to make sure that she and his grandmother were safe back at home in arizona. everyone watched with baited breath, until the students in the mess hall started disappearing. everything went in slow motion after that, with the blaring alarms ringing and the remaining teachers instructing everyone to go back to their dorms. the halls filled with dust and the yells for people that had vanished into thin air. 

calls and texts weren’t going through, and the news stations that everyone had been anchored to soon showed nothing but static. after a day, the school allowed for people to leave, and joaquin took his car and made his way back to arizona as fast as he could. he burst through the doors of his childhood home, to see dust settled on the couch in front of the tv that still blared on. he was alone. 

the few weeks remaining of the school year had been cut short, and in that time joaquin found himself spiraling. at the advice of one of his teachers, he sought out peer counseling, and eventually was able to come to terms with what had happened. at the end of that summer, the true nature of what had happened had finally dawned on the population - the avengers wouldn’t be saving them and their family members. nobody was coming back. the world continued to spin on, and with that, was the air force academy sending for the remaining students to finish out the rest of their time there. joaquin, now a senior and only 21 years old, was left with no choice but to sell his childhood home and pack as many family memories as he could into the trunk of his car, making his way back out to colorado to finish what he had started. 

the school looked like a ghost town, and the air of dread and grief hung around all year. at graduation, there were still the same 1000 seats on the football field. however, half of them remained empty - memorials for the dead scattered amongst the living. 

after graduation, joaquin started his service. he started renting a small one bedroom apartment outside of langley air force base in virginia, where he had been recently stationed. he threw himself into his work, moving up the ranks and proving himself for 4 years, up until the very moment that the dead started coming back to life. he found himself right back at his childhood home, where the new inhabitants had freaked out over the people that had revived themselves in the living room. after realizing what had happened outside, they had allowed them to stay there until joaquin could make his way down to find them. after a series of long hugs and tears shed outside the house that he grew up in, he took them back to his apartment where they tried to make sense of what had happened. 

PART 3: THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER.

six months after the dead had returned, joaquin’s family still lived in his small apartment. it was nearly impossible for anybody to find a new home when half of the world’s population needed places to stay. relieved that his survival meant the avoidance of the rapidly-filling grc camps, he and his family were more than happy to make do with what they had. he’d become the sole supporter of the household at 26 years old as his mother struggled to find somewhere to work, and he yet again poured himself into his own job, but he brought a new sense of optimism into the mix. the family that he mourned for years had returned to him. in his eyes, anything was possible. 

he soon found himself working alongside sam wilson, acting as his ‘boots on the ground’ and as his intel provider for his missions alongside the air force. after a successful rescue of one of his supervising officers from batroc and his crew, he found himself starstruck at what the man was able to accomplish completely on his own. the two quickly bonded and joaquin offered his help wherever he could give it, especially after sam seemed to take an interest in the flag smashers, a group that joaquin had been following since the creation of the grc camps. promising that he’d continue to watch the group’s movements online and notify sam if things started to escalate, joaquin found himself in switzerland just a couple days later, figuring that the best way to get information would be to get in the mix himself. that lands him with a broken orbital thanks to a man that has super strength, hinting at the possibility of the flag smashers being much more than meets the eye.

after the reveal of john walker as captain america, the air force immediately puts both him and lemar on the newly formed flag smasher case. due to his discovery of the group, joaquin is recruited onto the team as the only intel officer, helping to locate any and all information on the group and keep walker and hoskins up to date as they go and try to apprehend them. at the same time, sam is running his own mission on the side, as he’s able to use redwing to track the flag smashers to an abandoned warehouse in munich. joaquin drops everything to fly the plane and take them there. he doesn’t know that the ops department put a hidden tracker inside of redwing, but that revelation makes him start to become weary of them when sam tells him. 

after he returns to langley air force base from munich, he’s immediately spoken to by his superiors. he’s no longer under orders to help sam wilson, as that was a one-time mission to save captain vassant, and is told to instead focus his energy on what he was assigned to - assisting walker and hoskins. he’s not punished for his actions, but there’s a threat should he get caught helping someone with air force resources again. he agrees, though has no intentions on stopping his contact with sam. joaquin calls him after that, letting him know what went down and how he had to be more careful if he wanted to keep being able to help with things. he keeps his head down for a while, just doing what’s asked of him while trying to keep an ear out.

eventually, he’s called by sam and asked to find information on donya madani. he finds out that she and karli were registered at the camp in riga, lativa, and that she appeared to hold a loved position within the community. because of the rising threat of the flag smashers, the air force adds two more intel officers onto the case, which keeps joaquin from being able to delay information from getting to walker. he’s only able to buy sam and bucky a couple hours, before walker and hoskins meet them in latvia and the rest of episode 4′s events unfold. 

joaquin sees the video of the murder in the plaza along with the rest of the world, and immediately watches as the base turns to chaos with the higher ups seeking to take control of the situation. his scene with sam remains the same, and he excitedly picks up the bag with the wings and keeps it in the trunk of his car. he then goes back to dc (?), where walker’s punishments are set to be read to him. as a part of the team, he’s told to stand at the back of the room and bear witness, and he hears the accusations that he spews to the government officials. he doesn’t expect them to make sense, taking the seeds of doubt that had planted themselves after being told to work against sam and sprouting them into a genuine distaste for the air force. 

before he can leave, he’s stopped by the major from the vassant mission, a man that he’s known since his first days out of the academy. he reminds joaquin about the upcoming run of promotions, and how he’s been a first lieutenant long enough to apply for captain if he wanted to. with the reputation that he got after being the one to discover and report about the flag smashers, the major tells him that he was almost guaranteed to make the promotion if he applied for it. with walker’s voice still echoing in his head, and the wings now passed down to him, he hesitates and plays it off as being humble, telling the man that he’ll think about it. 

during the time that passes during the montage, joaquin spends his time trying to locate the flag smashers while fixing his wings in secret back at his apartment, until he finally realizes that their next target is new york. since the wings aren’t finished by that time, he offers to help as himself, pushing the fact that he told sam he was his boots on the ground, and he meant it. meeting them in new york, joaquin worked to evacuate people from the buildings, and was the person to hack into the flag smasher app to apprehend them. he’s also there with the big circle of people as sam has his speech to the government official, a giant smile on his face. it’s in that moment that he makes his decision regarding his promotion - sam was able to help countless more people in just a week (?) than joaquin had in the four years after his graduation from the air force academy. he doesn’t put in an application for promotion, and makes a mental note to leave the air force in the next couple months, once his 5 years of contractual post-grad service are completed. 

a few days later, joaquin video calls sam to show him the fixed wings, extremely proud of himself. sam then starts training him to take over the falcon mantle, and joaquin starts getting accustomed to the superhero world that he’s found himself in and everything that it entails. 

[murfeelee]

Simblr Asks - TS3

Saw these questions by Teauke on my dash, and y’all know I love talking/ranting about The Sims; let’s go! ^0^

1. how big is your mods folder?

That’s my mods folder with only mods/hacks/overrides; no CAS or build/buy CC installed. It’s a miracle that nothing conflicts, at least not as far as I can tell.

2. how would you describe your style? A sporadic mix of tv/gaming fandom-inspired conversions and recreations, of mostly fanciful and/or cultural themes & genres.

3. What is your favorite challenge? I’m a builder at heart, so I love recreating lots and interiors. Challenges where we find IRL rooms/scenes and remake them in TS3 are always the most fun for me.

4. do you make cc? if so, what kind? I make fanciful & cultural custom content (occult, sci-fi, boho, etc). I make CAS CC sometimes, but I prefer making buy/build CC.

5. what type of cc do you hoard? Not everything, but a lot. As creators retire and links die, I’m even more paranoid than I already was that CC will no longer be available anywhere.

6. what default eyes and skin do you use? I don’t use default-replacement skintones, but I do use Buhudain’s You Are Real mod.

As for eye defaults, I absolutely love Moonskin’s Shiny Glass replacements.

7. how many urls have you had, and what are the meanings behind them? All of my simming URLs on MTS, TSR, the officials, and Tumblr are some variation of my first name, Murfee Lee. Because yes, I am that darn creative.

8. who is your favorite gameplay blog? 9. who is your favorite storytelling blog? Ugh, there are too many good ones out there.

10. who is your favorite cc creator? All of my favorite creators retired years ago: DyM/Hekate999 (fantasy build/buy), Parsimonious (everything), Luna (everything build/buy), Qingshuangtongzi (Asian everything), Amethyst (Asian CAS), Art-Sims (CAS everything), etc. I swear, the day Sandy/ATS3 (everything build/buy) retires is the day I’m having a panic attack.

11. how do you edit your photos? Badly. Tweak the brightness & contrast and call it a effing day.

12. what is the last screenshot you took? It’s a surprise.

13. what do you do when you are unmotivated? I am never “unmotivated,” so much as I am distracted. I think the reason I’ve simmed so long is strictly because I’m always inspired by fandoms. If I get distracted by a tv/game, it becomes my next muse (aka current obsession). It’s not that I get unmotivated to finish the old stuff I pretty much abandon, it’s just that there aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do everything I want. Sometimes I return to older saves/gameplay. Most times I don’t though--unless someone messages me wanting to see it again (and that’s effing rare). 

14. who is your current favorite sim? Sakura and Nasir are my alltime favorite sims. But I must admit that I patted myself on the back pretty dang hard when I created Tsukihime-Sama for my Moon Medicine gameplay. I love every sim I made for that gameplay (which I really need to finish one day, ugh), but my Lunar Moth Goddess? 👌

15. who is your current favorite sim that is not by you? Every sim that @obscurus-noctem​​ is out here sacrificing goats in order to create. It’s just disgusting how pretty everything on their blog is. Those mersims? Those graphics? That editing? Makes me effing sick. 

16. recreate someone else’s sim in your style. I think I saw a challenge like this a few months/years ago, but never did it. But I DID do the Picrew version.

17. do you talk about sims with people in real life? One of my professors plays SimCity. Naturally, we bonded over how wack EA is. ^_^

18. how many of the packs do you own? All of them, except the Stuff Packs. Barring Fast Lane and Movie Stuff, none of the other SPs are worth the price; it’s just build/buy/CAS CC any MaxisMatch creator.could make for free. I’ve always felt that way about SPs, which is why I never bothered with them in TS1 or TS2 either. I will say though, that TS4′s SPs are something else entirely, which brings me to #24 (see below).

19. how many posts do you have on your blog currently? 2764. JESUS.

20. how many drafts do you have on your blog currently? 363. U_U And most of those are CC sets & gameplay posts I never finished.  

21. how many posts are in your queue currently? It’s a secret. ^_^

22. have you ever moved blogs? Never. I never even changed my theme or URL.

23. are you in any sims related discord servers? Yes, the Creators Cave, but I effing hate Discord; it’s just a royal pain to navigate, IMO.

24. what are your thoughts on the most recent pack? (paranormal) Speaking of Stuff Packs!

RANT ALERT!

If anything, TS4′s SPs are doing way too much (adding new gameplay, careers, lifestates/NPCs, lots, etc!? WUT.) Or rather, its EPs aren’t doing nearly enough. I love that TS4′s SPs add meaningful content. But if they’re raising their bar, that means the Expansion Packs need to rise by the same degree, to stay relevant, if anything.

But EA, in their infinite ineptitude, seems to be scaling back with their EPs! Cutting what should be 1 cohesive EP into multiple SPs & GPs piecemeals the content and cheats people out of money, by having us pay more for less! The TS4 SPs do a lot, yes, but now let’s talk about the Paranormal SP for example:

Paranormal Stuff does perhaps the most any SP in The Sims 1/2/3/4 ever has, and has by far the most worth for its money...but at a dire cost:

- the career only has 5 levels instead of 10 (thus being nowhere as deep as TS3′s combination of the Ambition EP’s Ghost Hunter and the Store’s crystal ball--which links with the Supernatural EP’s Spellcasting skill)

the crystal ball is a 1-trick pony

unlocking Bonehilda is tied to grinding skill/career levels, only for her to do EFF ALL once she finally arrives (and her face looks like melted cookie dough WTF)

most of the gameplay is tied to the pack’s new lot/venue

and the ghosts are still meh

So rather than TS4 having an actual Supernatural EP, instead it has the ok-but-disappointing Realm of Magic Game Pack (which I’ve already ranted about), the watered-down Paranormal Stuff Pack, and the INCREDIBLY OP Vampires Game Pack (which I’ve salivated over). That’s already $40--the cost of TS3′s Supernatural Expansion Pack, mind you--but with the glaringly absent inclusion of Fairies, Werewolves, AND Zombies. O_O WHAT THE HELL, EA. To get the full Supernatural experience in TS4 is gonna end up running people not $40, but perhaps DOUBLE, if werewolves & fairies get their own GPs (unless EA waters them down in SPs, which would still be anywhere from $50-60). EA is robbing people blind.

25. how many hours have you played sims? I have no idea, no doubt thousands.

26. if you play gameplay, do you play with mods? See #1 above

27. what’s the farthest you’ve gotten in a challenge? See #3 above.

Thanks for reading!

[hockeylvr59]

Secret Love Part 11 || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: So I really struggled writing Chapter 10...Chapter 11 however...took me like two days. So yeah...uh characters are still in Iceland, Days 3 and 4 sightseeing will be posted following this. As always all posts for this series can be found by searching the tag ‘038’ on my blog. Let me know what you think. 

Gif Credit: @j-compher​

Warnings: cursing, oral sex, smut, unprotected (on birth control but no condom) smut

Word Count: 3,819

~~~~~~

If you’d thought day two of your trip had involved a lot of driving, you were in for a rude awakening moving forward.

The morning of your third day in Iceland, you and Cale had slept in until around 8 am before getting up, heading down to breakfast, packing up and then checking out of the hotel. Before leaving Reykjavik, you stopped at a market to stock up on some drinks and snacks, then a gas station for a refill before finally hitting the road heading south.

After about an hour and 40 minute drive, you reached your first stop: Seljalandsfoss Waterfall. This waterfall was the perfect photo op because you could actually walk behind the falls. Taking some sillier but also sweet pictures, you continued on to another waterfall about a half hour away. From there, you stopped for lunch before Cale drove on to Dyrhólaey Nature Reserve.

The nature reserve was home to sea stacks and arches and the view from the upper trail was breathtaking. It had only been three days but already you were certain that Iceland was one of the most beautiful countries in the world.  After taking in the views from above, you headed to the lower trail and onto Reynisfjara beach.

There, black sand stretched in front of you as far as you could see. It was so different than any other beach you’d ever been on but it was honestly really, really cool. As cool as the sand was, the rock formations lining the beach were even cooler. After walking tucked into Cale’s side for a little bit you looked up at the cliffs to your left and immediately started freaking out. Jumping up and down, trying not to squeal, you tugged on Cale’s sleeve as if your previous actions hadn’t already gained his attention.

“What are you freaking out about?” Cale asked, mystified expression on his face.

“Puffins!” You squealed quietly, pure glee on your face. “They’re so cute!” The last thing you wanted to do was disturb the birds, but you were so excited to see them it was impossible to keep completely silent. Of course, you kept your distance, simply admiring them from afar.

Cale didn’t seem to know what to do with your reaction but he let you have your moment watching the birds, his lips pressed against the top of your head. As you headed back down the beach Cale rubbed his thumb against your side.

“I take you to see beautiful geological formations but it’s the birds you’re excited about.” He mused, shaking his head.

“Leave me alone.” You pouted. “You don’t just see puffins anywhere you know.” Lifting your chin, Cale kissed you softly.

“As long as you’re having fun and are excited about something I’m happy.” He insisted, his arm pulling you closer into his side.

It wasn’t a far drive to the village of Vik which Cale informed you was where you were staying for the night. Unlike yesterday where you had been going non-stop, not returning to your hotel until after 11pm, today you were already here and it was only late afternoon.

After checking into your hotel, you dropped off your bags and used the bathroom before heading into the village itself to park and walk around. Stopping into the tourist shop, you browsed around looking specifically at all of the locally made products. Eventually, you spotted a set of glass coasters made from the black sand of the beaches you’d just been on. Across the tops, various local scenes were painted. They were simple but beautiful and your fingers lingered across the tops of them.

“Those are nice.” Cale said, appearing over your shoulder suddenly.

“Yeah they are.” You agreed. Picking up two sets, Cale handed you one.

“We should get them. One for the house, one for my apartment.” Cale declared. “That way we both have something to remind us of this trip.”

“That’s really soft Cale.” You murmured.

“Don’t care.” He replied. Though you continued to look around, there wasn’t anything else that spoke to you as much as the set of coasters did and eventually you headed to the register to purchase them.

Walking around the village you took in how cute and quaint it was. Soon after your stomachs started complaining, you stumbled into a small restaurant. There you and Cale split a pizza with pesto for sauce, mozzarella cheese, tomatoes, parma ham, topped with a balsamic glaze and parmesan cheese. It was delicious and you left feeling completely stuffed.

You’d called it an early night back at the hotel, settling for a movie on Netflix as you curled up together in bed. A relaxing evening was exactly what you needed to recharge and be ready to continue on your journey.

++

Day four of your trip started by filling up the gas tank and then embarking on an hour long drive to Fjaðrárgljúfur canyon.

Just before you reached the canyon, you encountered a small turn off which led you to a viewpoint. Climbing out of the car you walked up the pathway until you reached a platform. As far as the eye could see were moss covered rocks and it truly felt like you had stepped onto another planet.

“Are you sure we’re still on planet earth?” You whispered to Cale. Your boyfriend chuckled quietly in response, his hand resting on your hip. It seemed like the more time you spent alone together, not worried about who you saw or who saw you, the more reliant on physical touches each of you became. You’d never felt so comfortable just being with someone and thinking back on the times you’d seen Cale with Sara, you had a feeling the same could be said for him.

With more pictures clogging up your phones, you continued on to the Canyon itself. It was only a two-minute walk to the start of the canyon from the car and the moment you reached it your jaw dropped.

“Cale…” You whispered. You didn’t even have words to describe how beautiful this place was.

“Woah...sweetheart.” Cale’s thumbs brushed against your cheeks as he spoke and it wasn’t until he pulled you into his chest that you realized you were crying. “Shhh..give your brain a minute to process.” Cale assured you. His patience with you seemed neverending as his hands stroked your back until you finally calmed down.

“Sorry…” You mumbled, wiping frantically at your eyes when you finally pulled away.

“Nothing to be sorry about.” Cale insisted. “You’re allowed to be emotionally effected by things. It’s normal. Especially when it’s something as amazing as this.” Cale’s lips pressed gently to your forehead and he dropped his hand from your back to lace your fingers together. “You good to go walk?” He questioned.

It took about 45 minutes to walk all the way up to the top of the canyon and back and you stopped for pictures at various points along the way. You still couldn’t put into words the way this place made you feel; it was all so overwhelming in the best way. As you stood off to the side of the first viewpoint, away from the majority of other tourists, you tugged Cale’s hand until he was close enough you could wrap your arms around his neck.

“Thank you.” You murmured, kissing him lightly. “You always know exactly what I need, you’re always putting me first and taking care of me. It doesn’t go unnoticed, and you don’t know how much I appreciate it. You mean the world to me Cale...I don’t know if I’m quite as good at showing it as you are, but I hope you know that.”

“I do...know that…” Cale responded, kissing you again gently before pulling away, a fondness in his eyes that nearly sent you reeling. Dragging your fingers along his lower back you made up your mind to show him just how important he was to you once you were actually alone.

Back in the car, you munched on some of the snacks you’d brought in lieu of trying to find somewhere to stop for lunch. It took almost two hours to get to your next stop, the Jökulsárlón Iceberg Lagoon.

There, the two of you hopped on a boat tour where you got to taste a piece of 1,000 year old ice as you toured the lagoon. It was incredible to see first hand just how much ice was breaking off of the glacier and it made you more cognizant of the consequences of global climate change.

Right across the highway from the lagoon was Breiðamerkursandur or the diamond beach where fragments of ice wash up after floating from the lagoon out into the ocean. You made Cale climb onto an iceberg so you could take a picture of him and you got some great shots of all of the ice scattered along the shore. Despite the fact that it wasn’t all that cold outside, having been surrounded by ice for the past hour or two left you feeling chilly even if you had dressed in layers.

As you climbed in the car, Cale turned the heat on and you squeezed his knee in thanks. It was just a short drive to your hotel for the night and once you’d checked in, you shed a few layers before heading to the bar for a drink before dinner.

You’d retreated to your room around 6:30pm and Cale hopped in the shower first to clean up. While you waited for him to finish, you dug in your bag trying to decide what to grab for after your own shower. Thinking back to how you had promised yourself you were going to show Cale just how important he was, you unzipped a small compartment where you’d hidden the lingerie you’d bought.

Buying lingerie had been a spur of the moment decision possibly fueled by a few glasses of wine, and the thought of actually wearing it made you nervous. Your sex life with Cale had been fairly tame so far, nothing too out of the box. It had also been completely spontaneous on every occasion. You honestly had no idea how he would react to lingerie and though both sets were fairly tame in comparison to some sets you’d seen online, this was still something new and therefore nerve wracking.

Hearing the shower turn off, you jumped, your heart racing as you grabbed the more modest of the two sets. If you were going to do this, you were going to ease into it. Collecting your cosmetic bag, you hid the lingerie close to your chest.

Slipping into the bathroom as soon as Cale exited, you stripped out of your clothes and stepped into the shower trying not to overthink this. Focusing on shaving your legs and cleaning up served as a bit of a distraction but as you toweled off, your eyes landed back on the lingerie you’d placed on the counter.

You were certain you’d talk yourself out of this if you had to stare at yourself wearing the lingerie in the mirror for too long, so you started with your makeup, doing just a little bit more than you had been lately in order to make yourself feel confident and sexy. Blow drying your hair, you brushed it out before finally reaching for the lace and silk fabric.

Burgundy colored silk sat low on your hips, edged by black lace along both of your thighs. The same black lace covered your chest, ending at the bottom of your ribcage leaving your stomach exposed. It was...sensual but not over the top and when you slid the burgundy silk robe over it, you felt like you might actually be able to pull this off.

Reminding yourself that Cale had nearly lost his shit at the sight of you in a bikini the other night, you took a deep breath before opening the bathroom door and stepping out into the bedroom. Cale was sprawled out on the bed with just a pair of shorts slung low on his hips.

“What do you want to watch tonight?” Cale’s question was asked before he ever looked up at you, but when he did he blinked slowly. “That’s uh...that’s not your usual pajama set…” He murmured.

Blood pounding through your veins, you moved across the room to climb onto the bed beside him. Grabbing the remote from his hand, you turned the tv off before setting the remote aside.

“I was thinking about a different form of entertainment tonight…” You stated, your own voice sounding foreign in your ears. Sliding over Cale’s lap until you were straddling him, your hands ran down along his arms as his eyes did a slow once over of your body. “I think it’s time I take care of you for once.” You husked, raising an eyebrow. Cale hadn’t even seen what was under the robe yet and already he was slack jawed. The power you held over him in that moment sent a rush of adrenaline through you and you slid down the bed, tugging his shorts and boxers down with you.

“You good handsome?” You teased, lightly stroking your fingers over the length of his rapidly hardening dick. Cale couldn’t seem to speak, but he nodded his head and for now that was enough consent. Flicking your tongue along the slit of his cock, you stroked the length of him in your hand until a soft grunt fell from his lips. Only then did you hollow your cheeks, sinking down around him, taking as much of his length as you could down your throat. Bobbing slowly, you felt him twitch and when you pulled back to breathe you ran your tongue along the veins on the underside of his cock.

Following your instincts, plus Cale’s body language and verbal clues, you settled into a rhythm blowing your boyfriend for the first time. You’d seen and felt Cale orgasm enough to know when he was getting close as his body strained beneath you.

“Fuck. Babe. Stop.” Cale gasped, but peeking up at him you knew he didn’t actually want you to stop.

“We’ve got all night handsome...plenty of time for you to recover after coming down my throat.” You murmured before flicking your tongue through his slit again collecting all of his precum. Returning to your efforts, you cupped his balls as you sunk down his length. After just a minute, Cale came with a moan as he spilled down your throat and after swallowing you pulled off of him, sliding your tongue along his skin to clean him up. Cale’s cheeks were flushed as he tried to catch his breath and you slid up his body, settling yourself back over his lap.

“Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?” Cale gasped, his head falling forward to land against your shoulder. Kissing his head, you ran your fingers through his hair waiting for him to become more coherent.

“Just trying to take care of my man.” You hummed. “But if you’re complaining...you don’t have to see what’s under the robe.” As you spoke, you drew his hands up to the tie at your waist, leaving it for him to undo.

The speed at which Cale undid the bow told you that he wasn’t complaining at all and you let him push the robe from your shoulders, his eyes landing on you once more. His cheeks flushed further to match the color of your shorts and his eyes were wider than you’d ever seen them. You let him stare, watching as his tongue ran over his lips leaving them wet and shiny in the dim lighting of the hotel room.

“Fuck…” Cale breathed harshly, drawing out the word. “I must be dreaming right now.” He added. “You’re a fucking dream sweetheart.” Cale’s eyes ran slowly up and down your body like he wanted to memorize every inch. “You bought this for me?”

“I take it you like it?” You assumed, letting out a soft sigh in relief at his reaction.

“What do you think?” Cale grunted, pulling your hips to roll down against his cock which was already hard again.

Laughter bubbled from your chest in reaction and you cupped his cheek as you leaned in to kiss him deeply.

“Good to know lingerie is a hit with you.” You admitted. Cale’s eyes flashed with concern for just a moment before his hand fell to your hips, his thumbs brushing against your bare stomach.

“I don’t know whether I want you to keep this on or take it off.” He declared. Clearly he knew better than he thought he did, because as he spoke his hands slid up your sides, gently gripping the fabric and drawing it up and over your head. Half nude on top of him, Cale’s hands cupped your breasts as he pulled you into a desperate kiss.

“Can’t believe you’re mine…” He mumbled, pulling back. There was something about seeing him like this, flushed red, swollen lips, blissed out from one orgasm already that lit every primal need inside of you. As much as you were his, he was yours and god did you need him inside you.

“Please Cale…” You whimpered, rolling your hips against his.

“Shh…” He soothed, hands gliding across your ass. Sensing that he was going to try and flip you, you kept your weight centered firmly above him.

“I wanna be on top.” You pleaded. “Just need out of these shorts…”

Cale wasn’t responding quickly enough, so you pushed the fabric of your shorts off of your own hips, shifting as little as possible while attempting to kick them off and onto the floor.

“Let me…” You cut off Cale’s statement by raising your hips and lowering yourself onto his dick, a gasp spilling from your throat as you felt him slipping deep inside you.

“Yes…” You hissed, the stretch of your body around him filling you with a warmth and ache that you had missed so much. As you started shallowly leveraging yourself up before dropping back down your eyes met Cale’s deep azure orbs, the look in them heightening your arousal.

“So wet.” Cale eventually groaned. “My girl doesn’t even need foreplay after blowing me to be this soaking wet. Fuck.”

Though one of Cale’s hands fell to your hips, you were the one putting in all of the effort to fuck yourself on his cock.

“You’re so needy...fucking yourself...just using my body for your pleasure. So much for wanting to take care of me tonight.” Sinking down on him again, you purposely tightened your vaginal walls against him, drawing another moan from his chest.

“Hmm...I think me doing all the work...letting you cum inside me while you just lay there is taking pretty good care of you…” You corrected. Your thighs were starting to burn from bouncing on top of him but your orgasm was within arm’s reach and there was no way you were stopping before ensuring you both got to climax.

“My girl is close.” Cale groaned. “Cum for me sweetheart...let me feel that tight heat clamp down on me.”

Cale’s words pushed you over the edge and you sunk down on him in exhaustion as your body shook with your orgasm. Spurts of Cale’s semen filled you from deep inside and you whimpered at the feeling, warm from head to toe. As you collapsed against him, still connected intimately, Cale’s fingers played with the ends of your hair.

“I can’t get enough of you.” Cale whispered a few minutes later, his cock starting to harden inside of you again.

“Again?” You inquired, a little bit in disbelief that his rebound time was this fast.

“Only if you want to.” He assured you. “But I’ll take over, you can relax and enjoy this time.” This time when Cale attempted to roll the two of you over, you went willingly, staring up at him. Before moving, Cale settled your legs up over his shoulders and when he thrust inside of you, you cried out softly at the feeling of him brushing against your g-spot.

“I got you sweetheart...just tell me what you need.” Cale sighed, pleasure lacing his tone.

The sound of your skin smacking together and the squelch of your mixed bodily fluids rang in your ears.

“Talk to me…” You pleaded. “Like before.” You weren’t afraid to admit that hearing Cale dirty talk had pushed you so much closer to orgasm than you would have been otherwise.

“Yeah?” Cale breathed, his cheeks turning bright red again as you nodded. “You feel so good like this sweetheart. You’re even wetter than before. So tight too.” Every movement he made brushed against your g-spot and you couldn’t help the litany of noises that fell from your lips at the feeling.

“You like it when I fuck you like this huh?” He continued. “Your pussy stretches around me so nicely, just welcoming me inside. Do you like being fucked nice and deep like this? Feeling each ridge of me against your walls...feeling me spill deep inside you?” Crying out again, your head tossed back and forth against the pillow, your orgasm creeping up on you quickly.

“You do like feeling me spill inside of you don’t you? That’s why you wanted to stop using condoms. You like being skin to skin with me, feeling me raw you bare. You like being filled with my warm sticky cum, the way it drips out of you if I let it…”

Your vision went black for a moment as your orgasm crashed down on you hard. The muscles in your thighs spasmed painfully, but you barely noticed through the waves of pleasure that rippled through you, leaving you panting. As your body clenched around him again, you felt Cale spill inside of you for the second time tonight.

Carefully he pulled out of you before kissing your lips lightly.

“Be right back.” He declared, disappearing into the bathroom. He returned with a washcloth and after wiping down your thighs, he offered you a hand so that you could go to the bathroom yourself. When you returned to the bedroom, Cale handed you a t-shirt to wear before guiding you under the covers.

“So dirty talk huh…?” He chirped, his nose brushing against the top of your head.

“Shut up and turn the tv on Cale.” You replied, feeling heat flood your cheeks. Chuckling, Cale complied, but as he handed you the remote to pick a show he couldn’t help but get in the last word.

“It’s hot. I enjoyed it.” Shaking your head, you snuggled against him just basking in what was left of the afterglow.

“And for the record...you can always surprise me with lingerie. I’m definitely into that as well.”

Lingerie:

[belliesandburps]

Followup with MGS4 Peace Walker and 5?

History has a funny way of repeating itself. :P

This one's actually gonna be long, so I'll cap it here to spare those uninterested in non-kink posts the burden of having to scroll past this fanboy rant. 'XD

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

3. It's Okay

Soooooo...not a controversial opinion to say that I don't think MGS4 is GREAT. I adored it when it first game out, and I still enjoy replaying it from time to time. But good lord, so many of the interviews shed light on a LOT of this games problems.

Some backstory is required. Hideo Kojima was done with MGS by this point. He planned to move on and leave the series to the younger generation. But then, there was a lot of internal conflict and struggle to determine what MGS4 should be after Fukushima quit (AND was rumored to have been murdered by the Yakuza...how that rumor started...and became a SERIOUS rumor that millions believe, I do not know...). So Kojima came back, course corrected, and the end result was kind of a giant mess.

I'm not talking story because, there's just way too much to unpack. But as a game, MGS4 can't decide what sort of video game it wants to be. It had a brilliant idea that had never been done before with its Battlefield Stealth, which were the best parts of the game. And then they get dropped two acts in, and what gets replaced in their stead is not nearly as fun.

The game had substantially less boss fights than its predecessor, and a lot of them were mechanically simplistic or just didn't let you get creative with how you fought them. And we later learned there were a lot more bosses planned, more gameplay sequences planned, and an entire other PMC group that got canned in favor of the Scarabs so Shadow Moses could be guarded by machines instead.

There's a lot about MGS4 that I love. I think the first two acts are amazing, ESPECIALLY Act 2. I think the mechanics are great. REX vs RAY is criminally fun. The sheer buffet of insane weapons gives the game a good amount of replay value. And the graphics still hold up to this day!

But what I finally realized is that the game juggles way too many ideas and doesn't give any idea the time they deserve to flourish. Battlefield Stealth could've CARRIED MGS4. But it gets dumped before we can get our moneys worth. A disguise sequence could've been really creative, having to juggle different identities with OctoMask every time one identity is burned. But it's only used once and wasted because it's only used for a terrible tailing mission that doesn't let you actually explore the European City. And too many of the action set pieces are kind of bland except the bosses and piloting Metal Gear.

MGS4 should've been MGS4. Not MGS's "Best Hits."

Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker

1. LOVED it!

I know this is unpopular to say, but I'll say it. Peace Walker is one of the best Metal Gear games ever made. I adored almost everything about it. The gameplay improves on MGS4 in most ways because it doesn't juggle a billion ideas all at once. It's MGS4 stripped down to stealth action from start to finish, and that's all I wanted. The level design is great. The insane volume of guns changes the entire feel of combat in later post-campaign gameplay. The mission select options mean you can jump into all the parts of the game you enjoy the most. There's TONS of bonus missions that are really inventive and fun to replay. And the story is one of the best in the series. It's straight forward, very tight, characterized well, and is the best iteration of Big Boss to date.

Peace Walker's also the FUNNIEST MGS game by Kojima as well. There's so much more personality and levity to everything, to the point where Big Boss often feels like an MCU character. That might sound bad, but it's really not. That corniness fits MGS PERFECTLY, and I'd argue is tonally spot on for this series. MGS doesn't need to be dark, gory or explicit. It's a silly series that's about giant robots, corny bad ass super agents with an anti-nuke message.

The only downsides to Peace Walker are the QTE's and the boss fights. This was a feature that only ever appeared in this game and for good reason...it was fucking terrible. So basically, you had cutscenes that forced you to do various QTE's or else get dinged on your ratings at the end, even if you played perfectly. Fairly minimal, but then, you get to Strangelove's torture. And this is the single most rage-inducing part of any MGS game ever made. It's an insanely physically painful button mashing sequence that will leave your fingers raw and your PS3 triangle buttons jamming. And the ONLY way you can replay one of the best missions in the game (the prison escape where you have no items) is by redoing that sequence over and over. And the boss fights? While inventive, they're all just grindy bullet sponges with no personality, no stealth tactics, and no room for creativity the way you can get creative with every other MGS game's bosses. This was the biggest disappointment for me because the stealth and combat mechanics of PW are great and would've been SO good against human enemies like what Portable Ops had. Instead, every boss is a mini-Metal Gear all voiced by the VOCALOID AI from the mid 2000's, and each one takes forever to destroy. It sucks because PW had a TON of bosses, but only a few of them are any fun, and that's only if you have weapons that are strong enough that they don't take ages to destroy.

But asides from the bosses, the REST of the game is so damn good that I don't even care because that's just one element to a much larger, grander game. Which is even more impressive when you consider PW was originally on the PSP before the PS3 port. And this game has more content and replay value to it than most games I've played since.

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

1. LOVED it!

Hooooooookay...so, I've rambled about my storybook romance with MGSV for YEARS now. (Just ask @twistedtummies2, he's been subjected to my fanboying of this game more than anyone in existence XD) But there's a reason I regard this game as one of my all time favorites and the best MGS game to date.

It's REALLY freakin' fun.

Kojima had been re-energized by the time he got to MGSV. He'd been working on the game around the time he finished Peace Walker in 2010. He KNEW it was his final MGS game and wanted to do something completely different...

...He wanted to make a game where the central focus was on...waaaaait for it...the gameplay...

MGSV was designed to be, what he described, as a toybox. You have these missions that all take place in structurally unique outposts like any level in MGS. And the missions are designed with the structure needed so that they all feel different, but all remain so open ended that you can play them countless different ways.

MGSV's game model is everything GTA SHOULD'VE been. It fully embraces the open world freedom and incorporates that into the missions flawlessly. And it plays in such a way that stealth and combat both feel like they were the primary point. In MGS, combat is usually a last resort. But with MGSV, you can fly into an outpost blasting away on your helicopters mini-gun, shoot up the bad guys, rescue your target, throw them back into the chopper and fly away while "The Final Countdown" blares on your choppers loud speakers.

Every method of gameplay is valid and the controls, the enemy AI responsiveness, it's all, bar none, the best I've experienced in ANY video game. Sneaking around feels tight and tense and combat makes you feel like Jack Bauer on adrenaline. (I mean, he IS the voice of Venom Snake)

And I really like the story for the most part too. Its weaknesses are really glaring. Namely, the "Fun" of MGS is completely devoid in the story (which is really odd since it's FRONT AND CENTER in-game). Venom Snake only has maybe six minutes of dialogue in the entirety of this 30+ hour long game. And the way Skull Face gets completely undercut right at the home stretch is something I have NOT stopped bitching about for almost six years, and my friends can personally attest to that.

That and the ending feels too abrupt.

We know that Kojima got fired by Konami's VP and said VP scorched the entire production company after that and made a series of dickheaded decisions that pissed off a LOT of fans, burning much of the good will Konami IP fans had towards the company. But that had nothing to do with MGSV's abruptness. That was the plan from the start because only Kojima would think to end the entire series on a plot twist like that.

And I think the issue isn't the twist at all. In fact, I LOVE the twist. The issue is that the game should've continued beyond it so Venom Snake could cope with the truth and realize how badly he'd been screwed. I think even people who hated the twist could've been won over if there was a little more to the games epilogue than Episode 46.

Also, the games boss fights were a tad underwhelming. Not the fights themselves, I LOVED all five of the games bosses.

Oh? There were twelve?

No. I meant what I said. Because so many of the games bosses are rematches against the same bosses. All MGSV has is the Skulls, Quiet, Eli, The Man on Fire, and Metal Gear. They're great bosses that do everything the best MGS bosses always did; give you tons of options, incorporate combat AND stealth, have varied attacks AND even have multiple methods to sneak around the boss and avoid the fight completely. But for a game as long as MGS, you need more variety. And frankly, the bosses NEED more personality. Skull Face should've had more XOF assassins acting as the bosses in the game along with the ones we have. Elite assassins like Quiet, with their own powers and specialized weaponry so the fights feel completely different from the ones we have. And oh yeah, SKULL FACE HIMSELF SHOULD'VE HAD A GOD-FUCKING-DAMN BOSS FIGHT!!!!

Buuuuuuut those issues don't even matter if for all the games issues, I still replay it frequently when it's almost six years old.

So yeah! There's the massive rant you totally didn't ask for! :D

[that-bi-bitch-writes]

Dreams of Indigo (C.4)

Pairing: Hitoshi Shinso x Non Binary Reader (can be read as Male Reader)

Word Count: 964

Warnings: Use of He/They pronouns, lots of swearing, mentions of bullies, angst? edginess (i hope not) cursing, failure, stupidity, various attempted crimes, bashing of the government. NOT PROOFREAD SO LEMME KNOW ANY GLARING MISTAKES PLEASE

Storyline: Reader is a teenage vigilante basically. Unlike the main characters Y/N doesn’t attend UA and somehow seems to keep finding themself in the company of the LOV but they’re not a villain. Call him a vigilante or an anti-hero whatever, just don’t call them a villain.

A/N: Honestly this is just a fun chapter. I felt like it's been too long since I last posted and this is to compensate. I'll probably try to actually release something again soon. Hopefully. Anyway all events in this chapter are 100% canonical for the storyline but it's told in an informal way that doesn't match the rest of the book.

Shoot me any questions, my inbox is open to anything but requests as of now. This is cross posted on wattpad (@that-bi-bitch-writes) and Quotev (@DumbEnbyJuice)

Last // Next

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Chapter Four: IDK weird POV with reader as narrator? Just imagine yourself saying this

“I heard a rumor

I heard a rumor 

I heard a rumor

I heard a rumor"

This is me Y/N L/N talking my problems out to myself because no one will understand what I’m saying like I will. I’m coping with my lack of close friends by talking to myself. and I don’t have therapy until next week.

Okay. So.

If you’re going to use your powers for evil make sure they’re working first. Don’t commit crimes with faulty powers that’s just embarrassing.

Period End of Story. 

I guess that could go for heroes too, whatever floats your boat. Anyway, don’t create second hand embarrassment for anyone, ever. That especially includes using your quirk to fight off a villain or rob a convenience store or even try to beat up bullies WITHOUT MAKING SURE IT WORKS FIRST. 

The whole reason I’ve been telling a lot of rumors lately is because I want to get the hang of my quirk.  I don’t really understand the laws about using your quirk in public but that’s kind of okay, the government is pretty incompetent and I occasionally dabble in dumb bitch juice. I just can’t get caught. I do however understand that had I not practiced using my powers illegally, I would have a lot more problems on my hands than second hand embarrassment.

All those examples I gave happened in real life just in reverse order. Luckily for me I got through it all with a few scrapes and minor damage to my pride.

First I tried to stop some bullies.

I do not like bullies. (that should be obvious by the whole, me getting bullied and retaliating unlocking my super handy but also potentially dangerous quirk.) 

A hazard of my quirk surprise surprise, is that it’s extremely seductive and I’ve started to fall in love with telling rumors. So, I decided I needed to learn how to tell rumors without, y’know. rumoring people. My quirk can get out of hand when I’m emotional, so the rumors can either become more violent and/or destructive, or not work at all. So I had to practice keeping it all under control and who better to be my test subjects than bullies?

Well it didn’t go spectacular because, drumroll please I overestimated myself and my quirk wouldn’t work. Not because I was emotional, but because of quirk exhaustion. Luckily for me no one really knew how my quirk works. So I showed up to the bullies and teasingly said

“I heard a rumor~” and they all tensed. They looked at me pleadingly and I dismissed them cackling as they fled the scene.

I was still really embarrassed. In fact by saying any of this out loud I may spontaneously combust

The whole convenience store thing I wouldn’t exactly call robbing. It was a chain store like 7/11 and they were RIDICULOUSLY overpriced. And I needed something to cheer me up after striking out with my powers. So when I got to the register I told the cashier I heard a rumor that there was a special sale and everything was half off, for me at least. 

I was laughed at which was really embarrassing but I figured I could use my frustration and shame to give a boost to my powers and they’d work this time. So I started to repeat myself but was interrupted by a “yare yare daze” from some big dude waiting in line in a high school? uniform.

I am not ashamed to say I was intimidated into paying 1600 yen for 3 items.

They say third time is the charm. But coincidentally after the third strike you’re out.

I was so hoping for the first one.

I was literally just minding my own business on my way home after the unfortunate events of my supposedly op quirk failing me twice in the span of 3 days when a common criminal, (can you believe?) tried to mug me. He had an insect quirk and basically told me to hand over all my money or he’d release his army of creepy crawlies to liberate me of my last yen (hooray for bugs crawling on your skin and robbing you. So cool). 

Honestly by this point I was so fed up with the world I’d honestly hoped it would realize it fucking owed me after making me think I was quirkless for 10 out of 13 (nearly 14) years of my life and now screwing me over with the very quirk I’d gained in what could be called a traumatic event. 

But no luck for me, because honestly I heard a rumor that no one uttered. 

Get it? Because I came up with the rumor myself and no one actually-

Anyway my quirk didn’t work on the villain but luckily I had street smarts. I threw my wallet in the other direction and when he looked to it I contemplated running. But I was really angry at the world. So with all the might a 13 year old could muster. I decked him. And when he was down I hit him again for good measure before running after my wallet and heading home. Luckily for me the bugs vanished into thin air as soon as he hit the ground.

I learned a very valuable lesson. You’d think I would say something sappy like “don’t overuse your quirk” or “stop trying to commit crimes” (assault is unfortunately a crime even against assholes) But really all I learned is pick and choose your battles. Oh and learn the signs of quirk overuse.

Anyway I plan on using my quirk unnecessarily and very frequently so I maximize the amount of time I can use it before exhaustion sets in. It’s honestly an irresponsible plan that will ultimately yield positive results and as a young and budding teen I’m all for it.

[bonnieisaway]

A Stupidly Long Critique of Saiki K: Reawakened

A Fuckton Of Spoilers Ahead

So I went and watched the new season/continuation of Saiki K today on Netflix and.

Boy, do I have some words. 

Spoilers under the cut!

Alright. So as I’ve said, today, (Dec 30th) Netflix decided to rip The Disastrous Life Of Saiki K out of Funimation’s hands and make their own continuation- Saiki K Reawakened. A 6 episode continuation and ending to our beloved show, that’s been hyped up for weeks now. 

..Except, it doesn’t really feel that way. 

The first episode, (Three Men, A Little Girl, A Police Officer, And A Dog) first of all struck me with this- they no longer had opening/ending theme songs. I posted about it earlier but this made me really upset. The op/ed songs are one of my favorite parts of the anime. Youth Isn’t So Cruel is a beautiful song, The Most Favorable! is hyper active and just a fun listen, Silent Prisoner is bad ass, and Put Your Hands Up always put a smile on my face, and that’s just the opening. But Netflix decided to take away the songs and it’s upsetting. I would’ve been happy even if they just re-used an old opening, because I was expecting something and it was really disappointing. 

The episode itself was a bit upsetting itself. I like watch things in order, but the chapter this episode is based off of is literally like the 10th chapter of the manga. I can’t find the exact one at the moment but I remember it was early on (hence, Nendo and Kaido arguing about which one of them is Saiki’s friend and such.) Even then- I went in expecting 6 episodes about his powers reawakening, not “Here’s 5 episodes of chapters we skipped and then we’re gonna mention the powers being reawakened.”

That’s probably one of my biggest problems with Reawakened. It’s just makeup work.

I think it would’ve been better if they put these episodes either in the places they belong or in the Season 3 category under the original show. They didn’t deserve all this hype for filler. 

Another thing I missed was that usually, after the ending song in every episode, there’d be a small narration by Saiki of what would come next week. Those were also super funny and I missed that. I feel like Reawakened was a bad fanfiction Netflix wrote which just killed the original work. I thought Reawakened was gonna be a bad ass, slow escalation of Saiki’s powers cranking themselves back up to what they were before the ending of Season 2. And it kind of disappointed.

That isn’t to say Reawakened didn’t have it’s few funny moments. I think the “useless powers” bit actually made me pee a bit.

But it was only of a few. Most moments felt out of character, or out of place, and the bit with the whole “teacher with a 10-year-anniversary-Jump’ was excruciating to sit through. I did like Saiki’s little smile at the end though. It felt like Saiki’s few expressions that make my heart scream ‘uwu’ were the one thing keeping me watching the show.

In Episode 3, (New Teacher with an Outstanding Feature), I personally felt like Iguchi’s existence was a dead horse they kept beating with a stick every time they called him a pervert. He just genuinely made me uncomfortable and felt like a bad forced joke. 

On the contrary, Hii felt like a great addition. I think they should’ve added her in the original two seasons in the first place, where she was supposed to be. I didn’t know till the other day that she came in way earlier. She’s a lovable unlucky klutz and she produced some genuinely funny moments. (Though, that whole ‘what happened last time’ bit kinda hurt my soul.)  Episode 4 was one of my favorites just because of her. It felt like she brung back what Netflix stripped away from the original anime. 

Before I get to the big money maker, episode 6- I have to point out the elephant in the room.

The fucking English dub.

I figured out that I could turn it on at some point during the episode with the useless abilities so I turned it on. I had heard the trailer with Saiki’s..new VA… but I figured he’d grow on me along with the rest of the cast. 

Oh my god I was so wrong. 

All I heard was Kuniharu’s and Saiki’s voice and genuinely, I nearly threw up. I’ve never had such an urge to slam my head into a brick wall until I heard the voices. I can’t even say much else because I didn’t and still do not have the willpower to sit through the English dub. It’s just.. so.. bad. I can’t stand it. I know that we can’t have the original English cast back because Funimation copyright yadda yadda I get it. But good lord. I can’t stand Saiki’s voice actor. The sarcasm sounds forced, the pauses are uncomfortable, and it just..hurts. The original one felt fluent, and just organic. The English dub made me, in short, want to blow my brains out. 

That aside- episode 6. Saiki Kusuo gets his motha’ fuckin powers back.

I had my hopes low when I started this episode out of fear since some of the others literally just made me want to gag myself. 

But episode 6… (muwah.) A masterpiece. No anime is perfect but oh my god. 

I loved how Saiki kept forgetting he couldn’t use his powers. Call it weird but the way he’s kind of a tsundere in the sense of lying to himself that he doesn’t like any of this and would be much better off without them is one of my favorite things. And it’s even better when he runs out of lies and has to face it. And even then- as his powers slowly integrate back, I about died. It was so funny, with Tortisuka holding his shoulder when he went invisible and Saiki using that as a way out of it, or hearing others thoughts and thinking of it as an auditory hallucination. I didn’t like how the thoughts sounded distant and kind of echo-ey compared to when they were easy to hear before, but that might just be me. 

Also? This scene right here? Where all of his friends protect him and he’s upset because he had to be protected? I started bawling. Maybe it’s because Aunt Flo’s in town and I have an unhealthy emotional attachment to Saiki, but it just hurt so bad watching him upset like that. And on a personal level, I felt where he was coming from. I don’t cry much at movies or TV or anime but good grief, I was crying in the club. 

The whole meteorite heading to destroy Japan had me in a bit of shock. I saw the cryptic advertisements hyping Reawakened but I almost forgot about them and even then a meteorite didn’t seem dire until it seemed like Saiki had no say in anything. 

As the climax builds and Saiki hears his friends panic-

-also featuring the best line uttered by Akechi ever- but even as Saiko says “I need to get my friends to the bunker aswell!” (which, holy shit, I didn’t care for Saiko but that got me to tear up?) I was losing my mind. After so much disappointment and just agony from this continuation- this had to be the best scene there. It’s hard to describe. It’s just so much emotion.

And then it happens. 

The ever tsundere-lying-to-himself Kusuo accepts that he’s a psychic who doesn’t mind his disastrous friends sometimes. What a way to end the anime. Call it a cliche beginning-is-the-end but I’ve never been happier to hear those Japanese words. I’ve never loved an ending so much. It emotionally hurt and was hell, but I loved it. This has been my stupidly long criticism of Reawakened!

So, tl;dr, Reawakened had it’s hard weak points but I’ll be damned if I didn’t love the ending. We love my favorite boyo, Saiki Kusuo. Also I’d die for Hii. Goodnight. 

edit: recently i noticed that Saiki's eyes compared to everyone elses doesnt have detail (no pupil/shine etc) except for that epic ending scene with Saiki and I jsut- HOLY FUCK here's a gifnthat kinda shows my point- his eyes transition from normal to detailed