#and i know i complain but i do actually like my group they’re great people to work with

[livvyofthelake]

also fun fact. you can effectively punch holes in plastic glow in the dark stars using a push pin and a rock and just pressing it really hard into your carpet or something so it doesn’t damage anything once it penetrates the plastic. in case you ever needed to know that

[bring-forth-his-sac]

The Christmas Party - Chapter 1

Summary: Your first year at Alexandria High is going smoothly, until you accidentally offer to plan the staff Christmas party. To make matters worse? You're stuck planning it with the one person you made a terrible first impression on; Negan.

Tags: Modern AU, Teacher AU, Gossip, Swearing, Pet Names, Slow Burn, Misunderstandings

Word Count: 5.3k

A/N: ok this is partially based on how common Negan's surname is... I mean, Smith?! Really??? Also I have written this very fast and there are many more chapters to come. My plan is to have it complete by Christmas Eve so hopefully you stay tuned until then!!

You tend to avoid Negan Smith. From what you’ve heard, there isn’t a good reason to go near the man. Womanizer. Loudmouth. Curses like a sailor and a professional at ghosting.

But, the job of a teacher sometimes means dealing with people you don’t like. Whether that be talking to a parent who’s convinced their child is a saint or, like in this case, him . 

You haven’t even made it to the Christmas break yet and you’re about to knock heads with another teacher. Great. You suppose this is a good thing considering you’ve managed to make it past Halloween unscathed. 

Still, it’s not a good look to be confronting another teacher in your first year at a new job, especially when he has taught here for years. You sigh, hand automatically raising to block the surprisingly warm rays of the Winter sun as you scan the track and field. 

Ew. Sports. Or more specifically, track. You've never understood appeal to any sports, whether to participate, watch or worse; teach.

With it being midday already, the field is quite busy, with more students mulling around than you anticipated. Some kids sit on the grass surrounding the running track, lacing up sneakers and complaining about upcoming tests.  

On the far side of the track, a smaller group of students mess with the plastic javelins that are stuck in the ground, bouncing them back and forth to see how far they’ll bend. You know you should probably tell them to stop and that it’s some kind of safety hazard to be messing with them but this isn’t your class. 

If it was in the classroom then of course you’d tell them to stop to save your own skin, but out here, you can pretend to have not noticed the incessant messing they’re doing. 

On the actual track is where the bulk of students are, running at a good pace while getting yelled at by some middle aged man with a whistle. The joys of high school.

It takes a certain kind of person to be a teacher, you should know. But to teach gym ? Yeah, that’s some sociopathic shit.

You watch as who you assume is Coach Smith yells at one of the quieter kids to keep up. Well, he’s definitely living up to the loudmouth tag he’s been labelled with.

But that’s not all he has a reputation for. Negan happened to be some of the first gossip you got when you moved here. Well, you’d call it gossip. Others might say it was a cautionary tale or a straight out warning.

Word on the corridor is that he's basically tasked himself to sleep with every female teacher, adding more notches to his bedpost and undoubtedly collecting diseases as if they’re baseball cards.

“You…” the sudden voice catches you off guard, snapping you out of your thoughts as another teacher approaches “do not look like you belong here”.

Another one of the gym teachers, oh goodie. 

Considering the size of the school, there were three in total; Coach Smith aka the town bike, the other coach who teaches basketball and another new teaching addition who deals with the tennis and badminton teams. Despite not knowing the new coach, you’d like to think there’s an unspoken alliance between you two since you’re both newbies this year. 

Unfortunately, luck isn’t on your side today and it’s the one that teaches basketball that approaches you

You put your best generic smile on and shrug. “Yeah, I’m more at home in the classroom,” you agree “I’m the new teacher for Literacy studies”.

He shook his head in response “No fuckin’ kidding, English teacher, eh? They’ll slap a fancy title on anything nowadays”.

You give a small laugh in response, subtly glancing around to make sure none of the kids are in earshot. And you thought you had a potty mouth. 

“And why’re you out here? Checking out what the coaches have to offer?” he comments with a hint of amusement, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he casually leans back against nothing but air, tilting his tall frame.

“Oh I just need a quick word with Coach Smith,” you gesture in the direction of the running teacher, ignoring the latter half of his question. 

“About?”.

You try not to let his crass or nosiness annoy you.  Pushing down your slight irritation, you keep your smile in place “Just a mix up with a student we both have… he stayed late at one of my classes because we had a test, then he was late for gym, got detention, you know the drill”. 

‘Now please fuck off ,’ you so desperately want to add to the end of that sentence, but bit your tongue.

“And what?” the hint of a smirk begin to grace his face “You’re here to get the kid off the hook?”.

“Well, it was my class that kept him behind,” you reply, keeping your gaze on Coach Smith. 

That’s all you were going to say but even with your eyes focused on the other coach, you could sense the man beside you practically sizing you up. A flutter of panic pangs at your heart and for a brief moment, you wonder if this other coach thinks you’re being incompetent, or that you’re somehow in the wrong. 

“I mean, I did give Henry a note explaining why he was late but obviously that wasn’t enough for Coach Smith” you’re starting to ramble and the worst part is, you know it. 

He hums in response, nodding as if he knows all too well “So he’s being a real jackass, huh?”.

“Uh-huh, jackass” you agree, before quietly mumbling “along with a few other things”. 

You know it’s time to stop talking now. The last thing you want is to ramble on about things that are none of your business.

“Oh?” that piques his interest.

“Well, y’know… word travels fast and all that,” that rational part of your brain begs you to stay vague “small town gossip spreads like wildfire”.

“And I am just dying to know what that small town gossip is” he turns his face to you fully, giving you his undivided attention.  

Being truthful, it’s intense. His gaze is welcoming and yet it’s as if he’s waiting for you to slip up, to say the wrong thing so he can swoop in to defend his colleague.

“Oh it’s nothing really,” you quickly backtrack, every fibre in your body screaming how it’s a bad idea to gossip about another teacher “just stupid hearsay”.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” the man coaxes “let me indulge a little”.

Shrugging, you look back at Coach Smith who’s still in the middle of a class and with no intention of stopping anytime soon. 

Don’t do it. It’s not worth it… but can it really be considered gossip when it’s true? 

“I’ve just been told it’s best to stay away” you answer honestly.

“ Me-ow !” he punctuates the word, a large grin on his face and undeniably revelling in the small nugget of information “is there a cat fight on the horizon? One of the other teacher’s already got her claws in him?”.

You laughs at that, mostly out of shock. “Not that I would know,” you reply “but by the sounds of it, he’s got enough claws in him as it is”.

A surprised look spreads across the coach’s face, eyebrows raised and mouth slacking open as he uses his thumb to point to Smith, mouthing “Him? Really?”.

You nod. This is going better than expected. A part of you presumed all gym teachers would be macho men with zero personality but this one’s actually charismatic.  “Guess they really call him coach for a reason,” you jibe, watching as the man’s face shifts into confusion.

“And why’s that?”.

“Well from what I’ve heard, he’s definitely surpassed the status of player… though he’s probably riddled with… y’know” you raise your eyebrows, hoping the insinuation alone would be enough to get your point across.

He chuckles, glancing back at his colleague with a sigh “His poor wife”.

By now, it looks like Coach Smith is slowing to a halt, his students quickly following suit. About time. Though he’s not completely done yet, giving his class a rundown of the lesson and squirting water into his mouth from a water bottle he’s holding a little too high above his head. 

“Yeah,” you sigh solemnly “I heard about that”. 

This piece of information was also included in your warning. Apparently Coach Smith’s wife died a few years back. Cancer. And that’s what subsequently led to his quest to fuck anything that a) has a pulse and b) has a vag. 

Damn, maybe you really are a gossip. 

"It's pretty awful, though," you mutter without thinking, continuing to ramble "I mean, from what I've heard, her side of the bed wasn't even cold and he was already crawling into the beds of other women”.

The man watches you intently, his expression growing flat and unreadable. That’s the shift you feared—the ‘you’ve said too much’ look settling into place.

“But I-“ you’re about to continue, hoping to seem more genuine in your regards when the newest coach appears. 

“Sir! Sir! Have you moved the javelins? I was supposed to use them for my ’Aerodynamics in Training’ lesson but they’re not in the storage room” he blurts out as if this is a national disaster.

The man puts up a hand to stop him “Fa–, Joey , can you not see I’m in the middle of something? And the fuck did I tell you about calling me sir all the damn time?”.

Joey, or well, Coach Joey, stumbles over his words before replying, his eyes darting between the two of them “Oh! Oh, I am so sorry sir– uh, Coach Smith,”.

You’re not too sure what Joey said after that, your brain pausing for a moment to process his words. That can’t be right.  Not when Mr Jones, the economics teacher specifically pointed at the Ken doll that’s still giving the exhausted teenages a pep talk and said that that’s Coach Smith. 

“Coach what?” you blurt, unsure whether you’ve just interrupted Joey or not. You’re surprised the words actually came out coherent, your throat growing tighter by the second. 

“Smith” Joey replies without missing a beat. The other man stays quiet and frankly, you refuse to look his way, not wanting to see the look on his face.

“What?” your generic smile graces your face yet again, a defence mechanism to hopefully stop any genuine facial expressions from leaking out “But I thought… over there… that’s Coach Smith”.

Joey gives you a reassuring smile “It’s ok, it confused me too when I got here”. 

That still doesn’t answer your question.

“He’s Coach Mark Smith,” Joey points passed the two of them and to the Ken doll “and then this is Coach Negan Smith”. He tries to put his hand on Negan’s upper arm but he quickly shrugs him off, gaze trying to catch yours.  

You refuse to meet that gaze, the reality of your fuck up sinking in. While numerous responses whizz around your head, you fail to vocalise any, instead opting to stand there utterly dumbfounded.  

Joey doesn’t notice and laughs to himself “It’s confusing, I know but it gets easier when you just associate Coach Smith with Mark and Coach Negan with… haha, well with Negan”.

Your mouth opens but you have no idea what to say or where to ever start. Not that it matters because you’re cut off by the alleged Coach (Negan) Smith. 

“Or if that doesn’t suit, you can always tell us apart with him being the clean one and me being… What did you say again? Riddled?”.

Oh dear God no.

That makes your look at him, your eyes wide with sheer embarrassment. “What?” Joey speaks up.

The look in Negan’s eye isn’t one of offence or even annoyance. He’s more pleased that he’s caught you in such an elaborate snare, a glimmer of playfulness in his intense stare that tests you endlessly. Before you can even process what to do, your instincts kick in and you use your best teacher voice to say “Henry won’t be going to detention today. He was late and that’s on me, not him so leave him be”. 

Turning on your heels, you quickly walk off and disappear back inside the school building. You don’t look back as you walk away, unwilling to look at the man you were just badmouthing to his face again.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

Mondays are usually good days but considering your earlier mishap, you‘re beginning to doubt that. Thankfully, you have a few classes off so you can spend your time overthinking your recent mistake. 

Propping your head up with your hands, you look around the classroom you can now call your own. It’s one of the older rooms in the school, a bit drafty but yours nonetheless. 

With a quick knock at the door, the skeptical face of Ms. Peletier enters your peripheral vision. “Hi! Is it just you in here?,” she asks in a cheery voice, waltzing into the room. 

You give a silent nod and she drops the act.

“I don’t know why I do this to myself. I mean, the kids… it’s like they’re getting more annoying” she huffs, pulling up a chair.

Ms. Peletier, the home ec teacher usually stops by on Mondays. She has a free period at the same time as you and likes to use it venting about how much she hates kids, but also enjoys teaching them and then realizes that maybe she actually likes her job. 

It’s a love hate relationship. 

But today you’re not as eager to listen. “Have I entered the Twilight Zone?” she does another quick glance, double checking there’s no lingering teacher or student outside “Where’s the bubbly ‘Hi Carol!’ that makes me want to rip my hair out?”.

Bringing her attention back to the statue that is you, an eyebrow quirks up “Are you… moping right now?”.

“It’s been a rough morning” you admit. 

“How so?”.

“I bad mouthed another teacher,” you grimace as you explain “to the teacher”.

That doesn’t make sense to Carol, her head tilting to the side like a confused puppy “Huh?”.

You explain the situation briefly: a kid in your class stayed late because of a test but he had gym class afterwards. Despite you giving him a note explaining the delay, Negan gave him detention anyway.

Carol nods along, listening intently. 

“And he told me his gym teacher was Coach Smith, so in my head I was like ‘fuck, ok, this is the infamous womanizer guy’ ”.

“No, you’re getting them mixed up that’s-” Carol stops when she sees the look you give her, vaguely beginning to understand where this story is going.

“Well I didn’t realise that and while I was waiting for Coach Smith as in Mark Smith, I was talking to Coach Smith the second, aka Coach Negan” you want to end the story there and save yourself from reliving the trauma. 

“Ahhhh,” Carol leans back in her seat, drumming her fingers on the desk that separated them. She gives you a laid back smile “Did he ask you out? Is that where this is heading?”. 

You suppress a sigh “No, I started talking about what I thought I knew about Coach Smith but it was actually information I had on Coach Negan Smith and I basically called him a man-whore to his face”.

Carol's face turns blank as she tries to yet again process this. “There’s no way I’m hearing this right” she concludes, though the small shine of amusement in her eyes lets you know that she is in fact computing what she’s hearing. 

Deciding you may as well throw this grenade out there too, you add “Oh and I said he’s awful for screwing around right after his wife died”. Now that bomb almost makes the eyes bulge out of Carol’ head.

“You what?” she splutters, losing all composure.

“It wasn’t like anything bad, I didn't do it mockingly-”.

“ Mockingly ? Oh, you just don’t think, do you?” Whatever sense of amusement that was in Carol’s eyes is overtaken with panic.

“No! No, not mockingly, just like— casually, but obviously I wouldn’t have said it if I knew I was in front of a widower” you hurriedly clarifies “it’s not my fault it’s so confusing with all the Smith’s here!!”.

Carol sinks her head into her hands “Oh god”.  

After a moment of silence, she collects herself “So you’re never going near the gym hall or track and field again, right?”.

“Never,” you swiftly confirm “not talking to either Smith after this too… actually I think this is a good excuse to avoid gyms in general”.

Carol smiles at that, leaving the wave of panic subside. “Oh! Actually,” she takes out her phone “I keep meaning to add you to the teacher group chat. It’s awful and mainly it’s Gregory complaining about one thing or another but I’ll add you anyways!”.

A few seconds later and your phone buzzes: “You have been added to: Alexandria High’s Teacher Midlife Crisis Support Line”.

“Oh… well, that’s a cheery name,” you tilt your head “that’s… good?”.

Carol gives a small laugh as she stands, slipping her phone back into her pocket “Well, we can’t all be as creative as you Ms Literacy Studies”. You laugh, rolling your eyes as she leaves and the bell rings. Maybe today won’t be that bad. You hope that the bad start to the day just means the day will end on a high. 

But you’re wrong.

By the time your last class rolls around, everything is calm. You’ve told Henry he’s off the hook for detention, no one is acting up in your classes and there’s been no gym teachers around. Everything was calm.

“Alright guys,” you announce to the class, glancing at the clock “how’s about you start that grammar worksheet for the last ten minutes of class? If you get it done now then no homework for the night but if not, make sure it’s done by tomorrow”. 

The class immediately starts, mumbling chatter and the sounds of rummaging pencil cases filling the room. 

You look to the clock again, as if it’ll magically have moved at least five minutes. It hasn’t. But that’s ok, ten more minutes until freedom. You can do that.

“Knock knock” an unfamiliar voice enters, catching both you and your students off guard. A few heads look up to the door but none match the ‘oh fuck’ expression that is plastered across your face.

What makes it worse is that he knows it too, basking in your reaction. You try to hide your expression, quickly masking it but the smug look you’re met with tells you it’s too late for that. 

“Coach Negan,” you greet, getting it right this time “what can I do for you?”.

“I’m sure there’s plenty you could do for me” he moves deeper into the room, taking no notice of the students and shooting you a promiscuous grin you ignore. 

Making his way over to your desk, he takes his time peering around at the various trinkets that litter the surface: a mug that says “I’d rather be reading” filled with different pens, a colourful stapler, an empty bowl that was filled with sweets about a week ago, and a stress ball. 

“No sweet treats going?” he asks teasingly “well besides the obvious”. Negan winks at you, making your face scrunch up with a mixture of confusion and repugnance. 

“Is there a reason why you’re here, Coach?” this time you raise your voice a little more, hoping to remind him of the other ears in the room that are undoubtedly listening in.

Concluding that you won’t take the bait that easily, Negan gives you a firm nod “Just hear to let you know detention starts at four o’ five”.

Your eyes go to the students, most of which are focusing on their work. Of course there are some nosy ones that are hanging onto their every word, loving the idea of hearing some juicy teacher gossip. Oh god. The very reminder of gossip makes you want to shiver. 

Lowering your voice to a whisper, you lean across the desk “I already told you, Henry won’t be attending detention today”. 

You debate saying more but with Negan, simplicity seems to be key. The less you say then the less he has to pick apart or use against you in some taunting way.

“I know, I know,” he concedes “you got some big ol’ lady balls for practically demanding I let him off the hook… and for some of the other shit you said”.

Oh for fuck’s sake. Your eyes go wide but you manage to give him a glare as you scan the class, hoping no one heard him. Unfortunately, going off the number of smirks the kids are trying to hide by looking down at their worksheet, they heard. 

You want to argue back, tell him off for using such language in front of the kids you’re in charge of for the next seven minutes but instead, you take a breath. 

After all, you catch more flies with honey.

“And I would like to apologise for what I said,” you keep her voice low, just because Negan has no problem with the kids hearing his side of the conversation doesn’t mean they get to hear your response “what I said was completely inappropriate and insensitive, I’m really sorry and-“.

Looking at his watch, Negan acts as if you aren’t  even speaking let alone issuing him an apology.  “Oh shit, would you look at that, I’ve got to shoot but remember,” he loudly slaps his hands against the desk, poorly creating rhythm as he heads back to the door “you got detention at four o’ five”.

He goes to leave but you speak up again “Wait, what? Me?”.

“Yeah, you're on detention duty” he casually replies. 

No, you’re not. That kind of thing gets rostered usually at the monthly staff meetings and considering this is your first year here, they’re yet to bestow such a vital job upon you. 

“No I haven’t been scheduled for that-“ you’re seriously getting pissed with how much this guy interrupts you.

“Yes, you are, honey,” he says as if this is well known information “so don’t be late”. 

And with that, Negan disappears, leaving you more confused than before. At least he didn’t seem that pissed at you for your previous comments. Still, you don't understand how you didn’t know beforehand that you’re on detention duty or why Negan of all people would willingly seek you out to remind you. 

Before you can contemplate it too much, the bell goes and you reboot yourself back into teacher mode. 

Once everyone has packed up and left, you let out a long huff, packing up your own belongings before heading to the designated classroom for detention. With the rush of bustling kids wanting to leave, you’re able to get there fast, weaving through the current and into the barren classroom.  

Going over to the old cabinet that’s tucked away in the corner, you find the clipboard full of the names of the attendees. You skim it haphazardly, seeing if you recognise any of the names before plonking down at the desk at the top of the room. Although one of your student’s older sisters is supposed to show up, no one that you directly teach is listed, which gives you a strange sense of pride.

Pulling out your phone, your attention span forgets about the clipboard in no time. Just as you do, the phone buzzes in your hand, lighting up with a notification from Alexandria High’s Teacher Midlife Crisis Support Line.

Gregory: Friendly reminder, do not park your vehicles in other people’s spots.

Some students filter into the hall, avoiding eye contact despite the small smile you give each of them. Unsurprisingly, none of them are in a talking mood and take their seats, pulling out homework or some study material to occupy their hour with.

Paul J Monroe : good idea, stop parking in my spot

You move your hand up to cover the smirk tugging at your lips.  Gregory, the vice principal, isn't known for his popularity. His entire personality is marked by his distinct sense of entitlement and self-perseveration. It’s baffling that he somehow ended up as vice principal when his leadership style is rooted in only helping himself.

Scrolling through the list of members on the group chat, you recognize a fair amount of names. Of course Carol and Mr Monroe, the counsellor, are in there. The likes of Ms Espinosa the geography and Spanish teacher is there too, as is Mr Abrams the music teacher, both Coach Smiths and surprisingly the Chaplin, Father Stokes, is there too. Unfortunately, most of the names you don’t know, having not done much socialising since getting here.

Sasha: there was a Christmas lights installation van parked across my spot and Rosita’s, will they be there again tomorrow?

Rosita: if it’s there tomorrow I’m slashing its tires

Rosita: that’s a joke

Gregory: I hired them, they’ll be here all week to make things more festive 

While waiting to see how the others react to that, you look back at the clipboard, your gaze hardening as you look to the very top of the page. There, in black ink, is the date, followed by which school week this is and finally, the name of the teacher on duty. 

And guess what, it sure as shit isn’t your name up there.

If it isn’t for the room full of kids, you would be swearing out loud, having to bite your tongue to stop the words from actually coming out. 

That motherfucker. That sly, riddled and sleazy motherfucker. The name Coach N. Smith is at the top of the page with a horizontal line next to it for him to sign, proving that he did actually show up and do his damn job.  Yanking your phone back up, you stew silently and watch the messages flow.

Rosita: ur shitting me

Sasha: why weren’t we told about this?!

Gregory: this can be discussed tomorrow

Sasha: discussed tomorrow while they’re parked in our spots AGAIN?

Aaron: Does anyone know where we’re going for the Christmas party? Is it still on for next Friday? Need to hire a babysitter haha :)

Rosita: Gregory?? Reply??

Scrolling to the top of the group chat, you tap to see its members, noticing how it says Gregory is now offline. Typical. Thankfully, Aaron’s message moves the conversation in a new direction and teachers begin to lightly debate whether they should go to the Kingdom for the staff Christmas Party or if they should venture further afield. 

Amber: can we not go back to the Kingdom? Pretty sure I got food poisoning last year :S

Gregory: budget for Christmas party is very low this year, if anyone can plan it for next Friday then it can still go ahead. 

Rosita: what about our parking spaces? Hello???????

Rosita is once again ignored by Gregory and the topic of the Christmas party stays. You know you shouldn’t be getting such entertainment from this but watching as the teachers try to assert their points, shooting down what the others have to stay while simultaneously trying to stay as polite as possible provides some great amusement.

And, it’s extremely passive aggressive. Oh, what joy.

One of your favourite moments is the science teacher Mr Porter’s response when Gregory struck down his idea of making the Christmas Party a weekend getaway to the closest city. 

Eugene: For clarification, are you suggesting the staff members in this here group chat don’t have the sufficient financial funds to rent a hotel room for a night or two?

You want to let out a low ‘ooooo’ noise as if you’re watching a sports game. In all honesty, if you weren’t supervising detention, you probably would be making gleeful noises as you read each text. Gregory ignores Mr Porter’s accusation and instead proposes his own idea. 

Gregory: Having it at the school is the best opton, everyone can get there and it’s big enough 

You presume that’s a spelling mistake on his part. The next text comes from one of the Coach Smith’s, the one you haven’t badmouthed. 

Mark: The gym hall can definitely fit everyone

When you see Mark’s name pop up along with the thumbs up emoji he adds to his text, you go into your options for him, deciding to set yourself a little reminder of who’s who.

Mark (Coach Smith): but I’ll be taking next week off for vacay

Sherry: who’s the new number that’s been added ?

“Miss?” You look up as a student approaches with a bored face “can I borrow a pen? Or even a pencil?”.

“Oh sure!” You perk up, dropping your phone on to your lap so the student can’t see. The last thing you need is to be the teacher who leaked the mere idea of a teacher group chat being real. 

Hurriedly typing out your awkward introductory message of yourself to the group, you send it and focus on helping the student. Taking out your little pencil case, you begin rummaging around for a pen you wouldn’t mind a student ruining. 

Mark (Coach Smith): so someone else will have to help Negan set up the gym if we decide to have the party there

Sherry: oh are you the new English teacher?? I haven’t had a chance to meet you yet! hi!

After selecting a black pen, you pause, eyeing the kid with suspicion. “Wait… you spent the whole day at school without a pen or pencil?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

You look down at your messages as the student stalls to answer, rocking back and forth on his heels. There’s a strange socially awkward panic that bubbles in you when you see the new message, knowing you can’t be rude and start texting again when dealing with a student.

But at the same time, the longer you stall in answering, the more you’re convinced you’re coming across as being rude to the group chat.

The kid just shrugs “Yeah.”

“How is that even possible?” you start to ask, but the words fade as your phone buzzes again.

With a silent sigh, you hand the pen over, offering it a quiet farewell. Picking up your phone a little too eagerly, you type out a fast response to Sherry’s question.

You: Yes!! :)

Ok, maybe you went a little overkill with the exclamation points and the smiley face but that’s where panic gets ya. Now that the rush is over, you swipe your finger up a little to look at the message you missed.

Gregory: anyone willing to help plan the Christmas party?

Oh fuck. Your stomach drops as you read the order of messages again. Mark saying he’ll be gone, offering up the gym for the staff Christmas party while knowing full well he’s gone the week leading up to it and won't even be attending.

Sherry asking if you’re the new English teacher. 

Gregory, who would rather ask others to help rather than offer any help himself, wondering if someone else can help set up the party. 

And then you, enthusiastically texting in a yes. Fuck. Please no. No, no, no. That message was in response to Sherry's message!

You put your phone on the table, screen facing down as you lean back in your chair. This can’t be happening. The last person you want to be around is Negan, never mind plan a goddamn Christmas party with him!  

You take some deep breaths, hoping that your message won’t be misread. Surely, it won’t be, not to anyone who was actually paying attention to the different conversations happening.

It buzzes again, louder this time as it vibrates off the table. You don’t want to pick it up. You don’t want to see what it is and yet you still reach for it. Slowly flipping your phone to see the screen, there’s only one new message from the group chat.

It’s Gregory, calling you by your teacher name as he replies…

Gregory: great! I’ll leave it to you and Negan to sort out the finer details

———

Read Chapter 2 here!

gif made from scenepack provided by harleys.scenes on insta <3

[hymn-to-mercury]

✨🪐Astro Notes and Observations #2🪐✨

These observations are all based off my own personal experience and are mostly generic - don't take it to heart if you disagree <3

✨Since I realised how much Mars influence translates into a persons physical appearance, I’ve been looking for evidence of this in other signs and planets, and I’ve namely found it in people with a lot of Moon influence in their chart! I’ve noticed they tend to have big, round features - especially in the face, think big, round eyes. Elsewhere it could mean a round body shape or big belly, even a decent bunda or pair of boobs tbh 😂 but that’s not a total given. There’s just something about them that’s quite… smoooooooooth, and soft looking.

(Zawe Ashton, Princess Diana, and Lana Del Rey are all Cancers!)

✨I find Taurus placements NOTORIOUS for giving unsolicited advice - what sucks most though is that 99% of the time it’s usually quite helpful so it’s hard to complain 😭

✨I know Aquarius’ are often seen as the activists of the zodiac, but in my experience a lot of them aren’t really all about that life. They might be quite forward thinkers, but they don’t usually care to argue - they’re not going to try and convince you about their opinion if they don’t think you’ll actually listen. They are probably willing to have a civil conversation, they’re GREAT conversationalists, but as soon as there’s any heat? They’re out. 

✨If you struggle to identify with your birth chart, try calculate it in Whole Signs according to traditional rulership, as opposed to Placidus with modern rulership! I switched recently, and it’s been a total game changer for me. I resonate with my house placements so much more now. 

��Cancer Moon and Mars get the biggest ick from rudeness; the quickest way to get on these guys bad side is by being ill mannered. They are ALLL about good manners.

✨Scorpio and Leo in a chart together makes for the least mysterious scorpios ever LMAO just all the angst and non of the mystery - plus they reallyyyyy like to bask in their own misery, and trust, you will hear about it. 

✨Taurus stellium are always putting other people’s needs before their own, truly the mother of the friend group. 

✨Cancer and 4th house placements as the homebody nurturing mother archetype is suchhhh a lazy and reductive take - just because someones got cancer placements doesn’t automatically mean they want to be a parent and launch babies out their vagine till it doesn’t work anymore. Why does no one ever point out the way that Cancers absolutely do NOT play about their parents or their siblings? Or how much Cancers take pride in their home/living space? How inseparable they are with their pets? Or that they’re just as much foodies as Taurus! Especially with sweets, anything from Haribos to pastries. Cancers are more than just breeders.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Y’all, please stop sending me questions you can google or questions on topics you already know my answer to, or questions that you know nobody this side of the internet has any answers to.

I understand it could be nerve-racking and unsettling to not have answers you want or to not have them presented in the way you want.

But this is not about you. And I’m quickly losing patience for the people in my inbox who simply cannot resist the impulse to center their own desires and expectations over whatever is actually going on with their biases and/or within HYBE which nobody here actually knows.

What I do know,

- is seeing akgaes complain about BigHit neglecting Jimin for years because out of all the vocal line members, he never had a solo OST project. Like, before BTS’s PET era, this was one of the topics his akgaes would be getting hit tweets on practically every month. This was their raison d’être. How could the company that shunned solo work allow that solo opportunity for other members but not Jimin? Nobody got any answers or even acknowledgement of this great disservice from the company, for years. Not until early 2022 when Jimin casually mentioned that he was never interested in that sort of opportunity in the first place until a friend personally asked him as a favour.

- is seeing akgaes claim the company never acknowledged Jimin’s historic BB Hot100 win, when anybody can google to see that’s clearly not the case. I’m convinced the only reason this continues to be a talking point is due to akgaes and their sympathizers centering themselves in an equation that has nothing to do with them. Jimin has said his team acknowledged it, we can see this from their main sm profiles and the members’ personal sm pages, just as was done for Jungkook, we know HYBE’s management highlighted it as the main accomplishment in the quarter to their investors, and his achievement was positively highlighted in many articles on the k-side. But just as with the cake situation, the people complaining about this want the company to respond in a way that reflects their own personal expectations regardless of the reality of what actually happened, what the members have already said and what they actually wanted at the time.

- is seeing akgaes assert blindly for months that HYBE partnered with Billboard to delete Jimin’s week 2 and all D2C sales. Assert that HYBE masterminded the buttfuck that was the deletion of sales by Hanteo, by Billboard, by *insert random industry player*, only for it to be revealed that Billboard treated every HYBE artist mentioned in their expose article dishonourably, including NewJeans who akgaes have decided for whatever reason is why their chosen idol is not getting the recognition they want for him. It’s been clear that issues with shipping and stocking are not even limited only to BTS members much less just Jimin, and so HYBE must be sabotaging TXT, Enhypen, and the other artists in the company they’re supposedly pushing to replace BTS and Jimin. HYBE must’ve also been behind BTS’s sales irregularities on Hanteo as well as other groups’ including Twice and EXO’s sales deletions in the past.

- is seeing akgaes assert for almost a year that the decision to use Weverse albums and not provide an option for physical versions was forced on J-hope by the company. His akgaes demanded answers for months and received no answers and no acknowledgment. Only for Hobi to reveal almost a year later that he chose that option out of his own desire to try something very different, despite advice to the contrary from others within the company including other BTS members.

Notice, all of this have been things to be legitimately upset about, but akgaes taking control of the conversation has only served the purpose of redirecting any focus away from the members, to render them powerless, shifting focus away from third-party industry players who work independently of HYBE and have their own motivations, and towards the company where they aim to remove their chosen member from to exert more control. 10 times out of 10 this has been the case, even when it’s not just irrational to arrive at that conclusion, but flat out counterproductive. I don’t even like HYBE, but it’s annoying to constantly point out obvious holes in logic or in situations that anybody with any knowledge of how BTS has operated for years can easily see.

We’re not actually privy to the full conversations the members are having with the company about their career strategy and goals.

What we do know is that like any other team, resources are allocated and the results nearly every time have been greatly influenced by their own input. We can judge for ourselves that despite the members working within the constraints at BigHit, such as:

- Yoongi being told he couldn’t release D-2 in 2019 due to unknown constraints but released it in 2020 to no issue,

- Yoongi being told he couldn’t give Jimin a song he wrote due to PDogg’s refusal but this not hampering the artistic output of either artist,

- Jimin being refused his request to have a visual album but no expense was spared for his very elaborate production choices…

…that while the company sometimes says no to the members for reasons we don’t know (and can’t know, we’re fans not A&R managers for BTS), in retrospect these decisions appear tied more to logistical and strategic constraints, sometimes incompetence, rather than malicious intent. The company still supports the members’ projects and all seven members are happy enough with their current management over any other option, that they’ve chosen to renew their exclusive contracts early, not just once, but twice.

I too want Jimin to have received nominations for the MTV EMAs. I want that for all my biases but especially Jimin because his chart and sales performance dwarfed most of the competition, but even more so because Jimin released one of the most remarkable works of art created in 2023. And it deserves to be recognized and celebrated.

But already, the conversation is shifting towards HYBE propping up Jungkook to shaft Jimin, deliberately refusing to submit his work (which just like the other claims about Billboard and Hanteo, none of these people can provide any evidence to support except this happened to another artist years ago and HYBE bad), etc - all akgae talking points that have as little basis in reality we know as any other conspiracy theory you see in any solo space in BTS fandom. These theories only support the idea that the members are in direct competition with each other, do not deserve their team, and should leave the group. Because there’s a whole host of explanations for what we’re seeing here, but the constant impulse to reach for that particular reason is because it leads to only one goal.

I already said months ago after the Billboard article, that it served the purpose of handicapping Jimin’s chart performance to look overly reliant on Asian buyers (read Chinese money) reducing its legitimacy for Western awards, and we’re already seeing that play out. This has nothing to do with HYBE, and everything to do with the carelessness of the fandom in blowing up funding sources while aiming to shatter yet another Western record. When history has shown us every time BTS as a group did this, the industry responded by looking for a way to handicap the group. Which was then done for Jimin as he was the first to break that record.

HYBE could’ve sent his songs to radio. His songs have very good commercial quality. HYBE could’ve sent Still Life ft Anderson Paak to radio too as it had very good commercial quality. But we also know the members chose their roll-out strategy and suit of promotion tools and this likely influenced decisions like why some songs were sent to radio and others weren’t. And the first thing I noticed about all the EMA nominations is every artist had their songs sent to radio. Every single one. And so if the Billboard expose didn’t completely handicap Jimin, then it’s possible because his songs weren’t sent to radio he wasn’t even in the running in the first place. Here, feel free to blame HYBE all you want. I blame them too, but just as I did in Hobi’s case, I also believe this was in part influenced by his own decisions and hold him responsible as well.

I don’t baby any of the members in BTS. I’m not their mother. And when I see things I don’t like, I don’t absolve them of all responsibility and place it squarely on the company, because the members know more than me about their own situations, and are grown Korean men who have all the privileges and options that entails, and who continue to remain in a team they keep saying they respect and are grateful to.

I cannot want more for my biases than they want themselves. That’s not why I’m here. I don’t see myself as their advocate, contract lawyer, mother, manager, or girlfriend. I’m their fan and so I’m ARMY. I’ll support them as much as is within my means and preferences, object to actions of the company that directly impact me or on issues that I find morally repugnant based on having all the facts at my disposal, not based on fan theories made by groups of people who have a history of working outside of the members own interests and desires.

I can manage my disappointment on various things while recognizing all the above. Perhaps after this first set of debuts, both the members and HYBE will rethink their promotion strategies, make modifications, and maybe they won’t. That’s their cross to carry, not mine.

This is my position on everything that happens in Chapter 2 and 3, (because all these grumblings will only metastasize when the members come back, as that’s how it’s typically goes in every k-pop fandom, regardless of the fact this only ever works counterproductively for the artists).

Please read this the next time you mean to send me an ask on a related topic. While I might share your disappointment, I don’t share your anxieties, and I don’t have the answers you’re looking for. The only people who do are the members and they don’t owe you any explanations unless they think it’s necessary. I’m not trying to be rude, condescending, or harsh. This is what I genuinely think.

[chocohees]

I have way too many thoughts on this seunghan situation and i got no where else to put them so imma dump my shit here:

It’s gonna be extremely hard for RIIZE to grow internationally under SM following this.

SM doesnt understand that riize will never be a proper “global group” if they dont listen to the voices of GLOBAL fans. if thats the case, stop promoting them as such. Stop giving them global brand deals, stop doing tours here, stop coming to the west entirely. Just stick to korea and its warped perception of what makes a “good idol.”

Y'all want global groups, global recognition, get into the western market, chart on billboard, want k-pop to be taken serious and elevate it but you can't do basic shit right and you're outdated as fuck. You want foreign recognition but dont wanna deal with foreign sensibilities. A group aiming for global success while simultaneously basing all their decisions on local outrage will never work.

And this isn’t setting a new precedent, its only cementing the precedent thats existed in k-pop for decades. SM has always enabled crazed fans and bullies for decades now instead of taking action and protecting their artists. This is unfortunately very on brand for them (however I still do think lsm would’ve kept seunghan but alas).

It was the ot6 “fans” acting like the decision to have him back in the group wasnt agreed upon by everyone else in the group for me. Cause how are you gonna be like “ooouuu but the other 6 members ouuu” well they wanted him back in SO WHAT NOW? Now they’re stuck with crazy ass fans thinking they own them, and I doubt they (the members) will ever see their fans the same way ever again. The fanbase has controlled so many of their moves its insane. First they didnt like the original fandom name so it was changed in 2 days along with an apology, announced a lightstick but they didnt like it so they pulled back the announcement and revealed a redesign, changed the hairstyling team because fans complained the styles were too different/outdated, now they kicked out an entire member because of the backlash? Wtf?

And I know for a fact briize will try to boycott and unless yall actually stand on business (which i doubt), its gonna fall flat. Cause lets not forget the amount of infighting that occurred during the hiatus period when people were only *discussing* boycotting. Talkin about “oh what about the other members” and “oh but the numbers.” The reason ot6 antis won SM over is because they saw that shit through, now look what happened.

Ima also need yall to stop saying the hate in korea was a “loud minority” because absolutely the fuck not. It was a loud majority of kfans and cfans advocating for his removal and poor health. Looking at the 1000+ death/funeral wreaths with seunghan’s name on it outside the SM building was absolutely heart wrenching, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the final straw for him among the other thousands of hate tweets with tens of thousands of likes on ktwt. As much as I’d love to have him in riize again, he deserves so much better than a company that doesnt protect him against that sheer amount of vitriol. I hope with everything in me that he has a proper support system.

I honestly have no idea how riize will move forward from this. They’ve lost a great majority of their international fanbase, and killed a lot of people’s interest in the group. I have never seen a company fumble the bag worse. Even though sohee is the first male idol i’ve really liked in a long time, I cant see myself interacting with riize in any way in the future.

[sensei-venus]

anyway I might be a masochist or a straight up wh*re but I can’t get the thought of og cobras with a chubby!reader out of my head and teasing her in school, staring at her, flipping her skirt up (Dutch would do it all the time imho) and telling her how hot she is, how that outfit looks so good on her, etc and she’s thinking that they’re just being dicks to her because she’s chubby and then one day she just has enough of it and confronts them and tells them to stop being dicks and they’re just like oops-

because I 100% agree that those boys are giant himbos so they were being genuine and flirting and teasing her because they like her and think she’s hot and they don’t realize that she thinks they’re being mean to her and they’re like “oh my god no-“

and yeah it ends up in a giant orgy of them showing her that they’re actually serious 🤤

No! I definitely get this and I love it. Honestly I love the trope where the more “bad guy character/s” pick on their crush but it's actually because their kinda stupid to the fact what they are doing can be seen as mean.

Half of them just think they are giving her compliments. And when she gets upset or mad they think she's trying to play with them, trying to play hard to get.

Bobby and Jimmy always give her straight-up nice compliments, like how her new hair style is cute or how pretty she is. They always take notice of her looks or how she's acting. Both of them are the first to know of she is doing something new with her make up or skin routine. Both of them are just overly sweet to her even if the other guys aren't.

Johnny and Tommy are the ones glaring her down from afar. They both talk about how hot she looks and how sexy she is. They don't go to overboard with the comments but they can't help but admit how attractive she is. As long as Dutch isn't around it's pretty tame conversations.

The minute Dutch is around, oh no because this guy can't keep his mouth shut for the life of him. He's always spewing something and he has no filter on his thoughts either. Everything always gets nasty when he's around and talking. All the bous could be sitting around and talking a out the pure thing they know about Reader, but then he opens his mouth.

Dutch is the starter if jerk circles and he knows it. It's all his fault and he's happy about it.

Besides Bobby, Johnny is actually one of the sweetest in the group. He's the first one to say something to her when they are all around. Yes his comments may be....a tad bit gross or borderline inappropriate but he's trying to be nice. He just doesn't seem to get that you can't say “Wow your tits look great stuffed into that shirt babe.” to someone and they automatically think you're a great guy.

Insert Johnny getting backhanded multiple times but never dodging. All the other cobras won't admit it but they think it's hot to see her get so mad.

Dutch definitely flips her skirts and dresses like a lot but never in front of too many people. Dude gets off on panty shots way to much. Of course the other boys don't mind it either. They all end up popping boners a lot because of Dutch’s gross stupidity.

They don't really understand until one day it goes a bit too far.

Dutch tries to pinch her hip to get her skirt to ride up just a little because he wants to get a good look at her thick thighs. They're so soft and pillowy. But her on accident actually snap her painted which makes her yelp and shoot up with a huge blush on her face while trying to hold her skirt down. She turns around and tells them off for once, not carrying about her normal shyness. She calls them assholes and morons and that she's tired of their bullying. They kinda scratch their heads at this because, like, their not bullying her? They wouldn't be complaining her left and right and trying to see up her skirt if they didn't actually like her.

At that moment they start to put together the pieces and realize the mistake. She actually thought they were picking on her and trying to make her into a joke.

After the incident they try to think of a way to get her to see they actually meant all of the nice things they said to her.

Which ends up being them inviting them over to Bobby’s, where they spoil her for the night with food and a movie. This ultimately ends with them in Bobby’s decked-out basement having a huge orgy. Jerking each other off before fucking the chubby girl. Taking turns using all her holes, and after a while, she gives them up. They switch from her mouth to her pussy to anything else she wants. It's pure bliss all night long.

And after the night is done, Reader fully understands that her new group of boyfriends isn't that bad. Their just stupid, aggressive himbos. But she wouldn't trade them for anything after finding out the truth, and giving them a lesson.

[cassierobinsons]

to the anon from a few days ago: sorry i'm only just getting back to you on the sam + classism discussion. putting this under a cut because it's rambly

To me the whole Sam classism thing is very much like coming from an immigrant family the people you will meet who complain about "illegals" because they didn't do it "the right way". Like generally, these are not people who hate immigrants or approve of ICE or anything like that, but they still feel a certain moral superiority in having improved their situation "the correct way". I don't think Sam thinks homeless people should all be sent to prison or anything, but I think he still looks at himself as having done something morally correct in getting out of his situation (even though he really didnt in the long run excluding the finale). You see this attitude with other things like when he asks Max why didn't you just leave. I don't think he has no empathy for these situations, but there's like a mental block of not understanding the barriers that other people might face that he didnt.

Oh i extremely know what you mean as a fellow child of immigrants. my mum will make a snide comment while watching the news and i’ll be like 🤨 oh so now we’re pretending that your friend [DATA EXPUNGED] is here totally legally huh. it comes from a small-c conservative belief that there exists a group of people who are less "deserving" than them.

“Morally correct” also happens to be how the fandom sees sam's escape from the family, when it’s just Morally neutral? Like it’s a good thing. But says nothing about sam’s moral fibre because it was for self-preservation reasons. that's not a bad thing either! and i obviously don't think fandom is bad for thinking of sam's hard work as an admirable trait but there needs to be some acknowledgement of his perspective is a little skewed.

Max is a great example to use because sam isn’t being spiteful, but he is being thoughtless and most of it is due to him literally being a man in his early 20s but like, it’s also because of how he grew up and how he got out.

sam’s judgy moments are at their most interesting in s1 because there’s so many of them and because they’re so intentional. Like, intentional on the part of the writers, not sam. his response to max is a reflection of how idk, myopic? sam’s read of dean and their family situation is. It’s an in-universe character flaw he has to work on in order to repair the bond between them, just as dean’s seething resentment over sam’s departure is something he needs to work on too. s1 is about both of them learning to see other as their dad's victim.

I think in general in the fandom you get these sort of knee jerk reactions like "no they can't be racist/sexist/homophobic/classist/etc, they don't hate xyz people" but really no one is saying they do. Like no one is saying Sam spits on poor people. No one is saying Dean thinks women are beneath him. But they both clearly have some ingrained beliefs that are ultimately prejudiced! These aren't immutable characteristics. In fact, I think for the most part if someone had an actual deep discussion with them about it they'd probably come around fairly easily, but that doesn't mean Sam scoffing at Dean hustling pool or Dean saying "sweetheart this ain't gender studies" aren't bad things to do. Like they're often understandable character flaws based on the characters backgrounds, but they're still there.

Honestly, i’d argue that plenty of people ARE saying that dean sees women as beneath him or that sam despises the poor or vice-versa etc. but like. Hmm. this is a tv show for a narrow group of people written by an even narrower group of people and thus the show reflects the views & prejudices of the people writing them. There are moments in which we’re supposed to approve of dean’s sexism but there are also moments where we’re supposed to disapprove while simultaneously approve of or at least be okay with sam’s sexism. There are moments where we’re supposed to think sam’s being a judgy snob, but there are still others where we’re supposed to wrinkle our noses at how uncouth and lumpenprole dean is in comparison to college boy sam. And that goes for the many other -isms in the show. characters are often used as vectors for the beliefs of the writers, good or bad. It’s up to the individual how they choose to make peace with that, but the problem with this fandom is that discussions about isms get heavily wrapped up with stan wars. 

Lemme give an example. It’s incredibly common in samgirl spaces to paint dean as a homophobic neanderthal. they usually do this by taking a shitty comment from season 3 and extrapolating it until they’re talking about s15 dean as if he can’t so much as look at a gay person without threatening to kill them in that sense they’re no different to the desticule circa 2020-2023 WHOA WHO SAID THAT anyway they pretend it’s just a heehee haha jokeyjoke but like. it is 2024 and they STILL can’t engage with conversations about queer dean without talking about deangirls as if they are personally endorsing homophobia! As a result if someone points out that sam makes just as many homophobic jokes as dean does and he’s just slyer about it they flip the fuck out because they’re lowkey projecting and think you’re judging them as hard as they judge you. This is why the mildest criticisms of sam prompt an insane amount of backlash. 

(i talk a little more about this phenomenon here)

and so we come to discussions about sam and classism that feel like people trying to defend him at every turn because they sincerely think we're trying to cancel him and it's pissing me off because if we can't even suggest fictional character sam winchester is maybe a little classist how the hell are we going to address the DERANGED lvls of classism throughout this fandom. i've never been in a fandom where so many people think going to college makes a str8 person better equipped to talk about queerness than actual queer people until i joined spn fandom.

(discussions about racism/racialised misogyny get a lot more complicated and a lot more depressing than anything mentioned above so i'm not approaching that topic for now. "but-" don't care didn't ask plus i probably have more melanin than you. i don't wanna talk about it!!!)

anyway. idk what i'm saying. i think i get where the defensiveness is coming from but it's annoying. what if we just mutually agreed that we're not to blame for spn's bigotry but we also have a responsibility not to reproduce that same bigotry? what if???

EDIT: coming back a day later to say that I do agree with your assertion that a deep conversation could be enough to change them! I just think that a certain part of fandom is allergic to acknowledging ANY flaw at all and that's the biggest hurdle in these discussions.

[amethystblack]

This seems a bit silly but I’m on my first playthrough and have just beaten hardy and before I’m going to Calcenon again I just wanted to tell you how fundamentally inlove I am with this game.

Rarely have I played a story that had me so hooked, especially on the characters. I know you’ve said here before that it was kind ot difficult to do and kind of just strung characters that didn’t have much to do with each other together but honestly you did an awesome job at it, you make them feel like people.

I also like the lgbtq rep in this game. I don’t have much to add here but it’s so nice seeing characters be freely queer and nobody batting an eye. (Except maybe that one mf in the library but no one cares about this man.) Especially because I’m not out of the closet myself yet and will probably not have a reality like this for a while. So it’s really comforting to see it exist somewhere, even if it’s just a video game.

On that note, it’s been 4 days since Taka died in my game. I was not prepared. I did not think it would happen. I still have not even begun recovering.

At this point, every single one of my friends has heard my grief for this character. It somehow convinced 2 more to download and play the game😭

OH AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON CAIN- I HAVE NOT EVEN PROCESSED THAT.

…

Anyway.

Moving on, I’ve looked through this blog a bit, mainly because I like knowing the extra details and your opinions and it genuinely surprised me to see so many people complaining about the puzzles. I personally liked them a lot. They’re challenging but also rewarding enough. And honestly, if one gets too annoying there’s always the good ol’ google.

Speaking of difficult, I think the way the difficulty in this game is balanced is awesome. Many other games make themselves more difficult by not providing a lot of quality of life stuff. And sure, Reborn does that too. But Reborn doesn’t do it by taking just these away, it takes a majority of the resources away in the beginning. And that’s what makes early game fairly challenging. Because you have to somehow get by with the few things you can get. And it even rewards you more for exploring longer. And eventually, the game progresses and we start getting access to those resources. And in return, the fights get harder. Especially with gyms now having perfect natures and evs.

My point is, it keeps the balance fairly well. Making you actually have to work for a win sometimes. But also not to a point where it nears impossible.

Especially because at the end of the day, every player gets to customise their own difficulty level in the game, thanks to the various passwords and stuff available.

Lastly, I just wanted to mention how much of a banger the music in this game is. Like- Holy shit I had goosebumps once or twice. I normally always mute the game I’m playing in favour of my own playlist but for reborn I could NEVER. It sets the theme so perfectly.

I think this is it for my -idfk what to call this- Reborn appreciation rant? Idfk. But thanks for making this incredible game and letting us experience it 🫶

awh, thank you so so much, i'm glad you're enjoying the game so much~ i hope you finish strong!!!

also yeah puzzles are definitely, like, if you're the type of person who likes puzzles in game i think it's great. i grew up on Golden Sun and it probably shows. but a lot of people just wanna play some good old fashioned pokamans without having to stop and wash their brain every few hours, so like, i get it. different strokes and all that. but friendly reminder that as of 19.5 if you're in the group that doesn't care for them, we now have a 'nopuzzles' password...

anyway, the message is much appreciated, you're amazing. keep it up!!

[samfrankiszka]

Bitter Aperol

Sam Kiszka x female reader // 18+ // minors dni // 2.3k words

Tags: pwp, explicit sexual content, swearing, oral sex (m receiving), piss play, watersports, desperation, olfactophilia, whiny (somewhat) sub Sam, some fluff if you’re into that type of thing

Authors notes: Other authors have written piss play for the twins so I am here to do my due diligence as Sam lane. It’s purely self indulgent and unedited and if you don’t like it, don’t read. 🫡 Also this is a burner account so if you know who I am on other accounts, no you don’t.

Summary: Sam has too many drinks during a show... whining and other activities ensue. 

“Hello, my lovely!” You hear just as soon as you’re wrapped tightly in Sam’s arms when he enters the dressing room. He’s warm and sweaty and the all familiar and comforting post-show stench fills your nostrils as he squeezes you. He leans down and kisses the crown of your head. “I missed you.”

“It’s been, what, two hours?” You reply, not being able to help the shit eating grin that covers your face as you look up at him.

“Well, maybe, but did you not miss me?”

You reply jokingly. “No, I actually enjoy the peace and quiet while you’re gone.”

He rolls his eyes dramatically, changing the tone of his voice to mock offense. “Oh, please, y/n,” he scoffs, “you know that you can’t stand it. You must be so bored without me.”

“Okay, you can tell yourself that,” you laugh, “how was the show? Sounded great from back here.”

He shrugs, “About as good as it could be, considering that Josh won’t let us change it up.”

With Josh facing the most physical strain with the current tour schedule, the other three had to compromise when it came to the setlist, knowing that he could only handle so much.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.”

He sighs. “’s alright. We all understand, it just gets boring after a while, you know?”

You nod, looking up at him. He meets your gaze with a soft smile.

“So,” he starts, changing the subject as he runs his hands down your side and rests them on your waist, “the bus is behind schedule and won’t be here until morning, so they’re letting us stay at the Marriott down the street.”

His voice lowers and you notice the feeling of his  growing semi against your hip. “I think that some people are heading over now, but we can go with the next group if you’re okay with that.”

This tour has had its ups and downs, and the bus being behind was the least of their worries when they got perks like this. You definitely couldn’t complain about a night in a hotel bed over a cramped bunk.

“That’s fine, I have nowhere to be.” You respond softly, giving into his scheme as you drag your hand over the front of his pants to elicit a response out of him.

He hums gently, smirking as he says. “Oh, is that so?”

“Mhmm.” You smirk back as you get down on your knees in front of him. “I’m fine right here.”

“I won’t argue with that,” he whines out as you kiss along the strip of hair under his belly button, purposefully ignoring his cock straining under his pants. His fingers brush through your hair as you gently bite the soft skin on his hip.

You lean back and sit on your heels as you look up at him. “Go ahead, take it out for me. Let me take care of you.”

His hands waste no time flying to the button of his pants, undoing it and the zipper as he quickly pushes them down with the waistband of his boxers, allowing for his cock to spring out.

You lick your lips at the sight and look up at him with raised eyebrows. “Well? Keep going.”

He chooses speed over grace as he finishes undressing himself, quickly kicking off his pants and underwear so he can bare himself to you. You admire the way his cock bounces with his rushed movements.

“Good boy, thank you.” You rub your hands up his exposed thighs before grabbing his cock and stroking it once from base to tip. “Always so pretty.”

Sam whimpers above you as you place wet kisses to the tip of his cock. The salty beads of precum coat your lips as you suck the tip into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you look up at him. His chest rises and falls erratically as you take him further into your mouth and let him hit the back of your throat. His post show musk fills your nose and causes you to moan around him and he quivers in response.

“Fuuuck,” he gasps out as he runs his fingers through your hair, “s- so good.”

You pull off to catch your breath, smiling up at him as you stroke his length. He returns the soft smile but it’s cut off by a whimper and his eyes rolling back as you suck on one of his balls and press it against the roof of your mouth. You release it with a loud pop and repeat the action with the other one, keeping a slow rhythm as you continue to stroke his cock.

“You always taste so good,” you whisper as you kitten lick the head of his cock, “especially after a show. I’ll never get tired of it.”

Sam hums in response as you grab the base of his cock and begin to slowly take him inch by inch into your mouth. You use your hands to grip onto his waist for leverage as you sink further down. He hits the back of your throat and you involuntarily flinch and squeeze where your hands are on his waist and your thumbs press tightly into his lower stomach. He yelps and you quickly pull off at the pained response.

You look up at him, panicked. “Are you okay? What happened?”

He breathes in through his nose, nodding with a shuddery exhale, “I’m sorry, I’m fine. It’s nothing.”

You furrow your eyebrows and look up at him, not believing his answer. He cuts you off before you can question him again.

“I’m fine, y/n, truly. I’m almost there.” He states, his voice back to normal.

You’re not convinced, but return to what you were doing, this time grabbing his thighs as you kiss up the back of his straining cock.

Maybe it was because you were on high alert, but you become increasingly aware of his body language as you continue to mouth at his cock. His thighs tremble under your touch and you notice his hands fidgeting.

He pulls away from your hair and instead starts playing with his own, roughly pushing his hair back away from his face and tucking the sweaty strands behind his ears.

He hisses and sucks a breath in through his teeth as you slowly lick up the back of his cock from his balls to the tip. You look up and notice the pained look on his face, one that you’ve seen before.

Oh.

“Sammy, baby,” You clear your throat and speak to him sternly, looking up at him and meeting his eyes. “How many cocktails have you had tonight?”

Knowing deep down that he probably lost count, you watch as he furrows his eyebrows and tries to remember. “Si- seven?”

“Mhmm. Is that all?” You place a wide lick up the back of his cock as you look up at him.

He chokes back a moan and answers. “A few Topo Chicos, I think.”

“You think?” You shake your head with a tsk. “How many was it before you lost track, hm? You got a little buzz and forgot how to count?”

You cut off his whiny response as you spit into your palm and start stroking his achy cock, being sure to spread the precum around the tip with your thumb in the same way that you know he does when he’s alone.

“And did you not piss before the encore?”

“I did.” He whines defensively. You notice how restless he’s gotten as he squeezes his thighs together for some relief. His hands are on his hips and his fingers are leaving indents on his sides.

“Jesus, baby. And you still need to go this badly? You can’t even stand still and let me finish.”

“I’m sorry, y/n, please.” He begs, his voice shaky and pathetic.

“Please, what?” You let go of his cock and gently squeeze his balls.

“Fuck!” Sam groans out. “Please, I need to take a piss, it hurts.”

“Hmm, well, since you asked so nicely,” you place a kiss to his lower belly before standing and placing your hand out for him to take. “Come on, baby boy.”

He grabs your outreached hand and follows you into the adjoining room where he had just showered earlier that day. “Go ahead, get in. I’m right behind you.”

He furrows his eyebrows in confusion but obliges. He watches you undress from inside of the shower stall, his cock heavy between his legs. His hands have resumed their position on his hips and he’s shaking his knee as a distraction from the ache in his bladder.

Once undressed, you step inside with him and close the shower door. You run your hands up and down his sides and look up at him with a mischievous smirk as you grab his cock and give it a few strong strokes.

With only a few inches between your naked bodies, you lean forward and kiss his collarbone and whisper in his ear. “You okay? Color?”

You feel his hands grab your hips and squeeze as he giggles out, “yellow, ironically.”

You roll your eyes at the joke but can’t help but laugh with him as you give him a few more strokes. “Good boy. You ready to let go for me?”

You press your free hand against his lower belly and press gently, eliciting a loud whimper from him as he nods his head. “Y-yes, please.”

You love how needy he sounds. How desperate. You could listen to the fucked out whining for hours, if he’d let you. But you know that he can only handle so much, and you love him getting his relief almost as much as you like keeping it from him.

“Go ahead, then.” You pause your strokes on his cock but hold it pointing upwards between your bellies. “Don’t be shy.”

He inhales deeply through his nose and sighs as he breathes out, his eyes roll back as you feel a few drops of wetness roll down his cock.

“That’s it, good boy.” You praise in hopes that he’ll fully let go.

“‘m trying,” he whimpers, “kinda hurts though.”

“Shhhh,” you keep one hand on his cock and use your free hand to brush his hair back and tuck it behind his ear. “Just think of how good it’ll feel once you’re done.”

He hums in agreement and closes his eyes. A few deep breaths later, you feel his stream pick up, spraying his lower stomach with the angle that his cock is pointed at. You coerce him gently, “There you go, keep going.”

You gently stroke his cock as he continues with a choked back groan of relief. He swears under his breath as the wetness sprays both of your stomachs and runs down, pooling at your feet on the shower floor.

You can’t help but point his cock towards you, aiming the stream directly above your belly button and feeling as it runs down between your legs. Everything hits at once and you’re suddenly dizzy from the sounds and smell of his relief. You run your free hand down your wet stomach and pubes, quickly swirling your clit for a hint of relief.

“Jesus,” he whispers under his breath a few moments later as the stream begins to slow down. He leans down and presses his forehead to yours, both of you looking down and seeing the last of his piss run out over your hand.

His chest heaves as he tries catching his breath, his sweaty hair hanging down in a curtain around his face. You feel his breath against your lips and lean in to kiss him languidly. He tastes like Aperol, a taste you have yet to acquire but seemingly enjoy if it comes from him.

You break the kiss and sink back to your knees, noting how cold and uncomfortable the puddle underneath you was becoming as you grab the base of his cock and suck the tip into your mouth. He tastes more salty and bitter than earlier, given the circumstances, but not unbearably so.

In his relaxed state, Sam slowly drags his fingers through your hair and lets out a soft moan.

“Your mouth feels so fucking good, I’m so close.”  

Wasting no time, you grab onto his thighs and sink down until he hits the back of your throat. You gag slightly and squeeze your eyes shut as you swallow around him.

You begin bobbing your head slowly, letting him hit the back of your throat each time. A few moments later he lets out a slew of curses and grips tightly onto your hair as his orgasm washes over him, filling your mouth with his salty release.

You pull away from his cock and swallow him down, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand as you catch your breath and look up at him. He holds his hands out to help you stand back up.

“Thank you, lovely. What do you say we get you cleaned up?” He says with a soft smile as he reaches for the shower knobs on the wall.

You nod up at him. “That might be a good idea, I feel pretty gross.”

He turns the water on flinches as the coolness hits him. His cheeks flush slightly pink as he speaks softly and adjusts the temperature. “That’s okay, I’ll get you all taken care of.”

He motions for you to trade spots so the water can warm you up. “Yeah? You promise?”

“I promise,” he opens the bottle of shampoo, squirting some into his palm before massaging it into your scalp, “but we should probably hurry and get out of here before someone comes looking for us.”

You close your eyes and hum, enjoying the feeling of his fingers in your hair and the warm water rinsing away what will certainly be a topic of discussion at a later time.

[romanticiisnm]

hii!! could your write something where legolas (if you write for him of course, I couldn't find any character list so if you don't feel free to ignore this) defends reader's honour after another elf insults them? thank you🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

Hello :D Yes I do write for him, sorry for not providing a masterlist, I will be working on it this week. I hope you enjoy reading this work as much as I enjoyed writing it! Lastly, sorry if the characterization is not perfect, this is my first time writing for Legolas :,) (There might be SOME typos here and there, uni fried my brain for seven hours <3)

----------

04.05.23

Word Count: 1609, nb!reader

“I don’t know why we still have them among the guards–” The first elf spoke, voice a little louder as he assumed the two were alone in the woods. It was late at night and it was now their turn to guard this part of the woods.

“Shh!” The other interfered, “I think they have a shift tonight as well, they might be close.” He said in great contempt. “And they might have the prince with them as well.”

“They got real close, don’t you think?” The first guard seemed not to care about his friend’s warning and kept on complaining, “I mean, I wonder how they got in here in the first place?” Then he chuckled at his own words, not that he found it funny but rather infuriating. It had been a couple of months since a new elf had joined the guards and most of the other elves felt indifferent about them, even towards the fact they and Legolas got along exceptionally well. 

As expected, however, there were also quite a few elves that were not too happy with the new addition to the group. They thought the new guard had joined them using their friendship with the prince, which was not true at all; sure, they knew who the prince was beforehand (as did everyone else) but they hadn’t spoken a word until meeting each other when they had to work together. After a few nights of taking shifts together, they had grown close. The two of them started eating most meals together, spending nights in the library together… But of course, none of this had started until they were already a part of the team, which some people forgot to mention.

The elf knew that some people spoke about them, but they seemed not to care. If they actually believed in their claims that the new guard had joined them through their friendship -or a little differently, in some scandalous rumors- then they could say so right in their face. Those who spoke ill of them somehow forgot that they were also good at using their bow, which surprisingly(!) played a major role in them becoming a part of the guards. So if anyone dared to say something to their face, they knew just the way to respond to them and so far there had been no one that took that offer.

The first guard looked at his friend again, who looked around anxiously, “Do you really worry about them being here? They’re probably on the other side of the damned woods! Don’t look so disturbed!”

“Ignoring the new guard and the prince, I don't think talking loudly at night, in the middle of the woods nonetheless, is a good idea.” He sighed and kept looking around, as a part of his job, this time. “If you only summon the new guard rather than a few orcs, I might feel grateful for seeing them for once.”

As he said so, they heard a rustling in the woods, causing them to draw their arrows out of their quivers. The speaking ceased immediately and they exchanged nothing but terrified looks between each other.

Once the owner of the rustling noise, they had to put their arrows down, no weapon of choice could’ve saved them anyway, “Oh, your majesty!” Spoke up the second guard, hoping he hadn’t heard their conversations from earlier and just decided to check up on them, assuming they were trolls or something else, “Weren’t you supposed to be guarding with y/n?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He stepped a little closer to them, “You’ve been talking about y/n ever since they arrived, am I wrong?” The guards couldn’t dare to lie, thus nodding along with Legolas. “They might be allowing such nonsense, but I won’t. If I ever hear either of you speaking ill about them again, you’ll be begging to every god in existence for mercy.”

“B..But your majesty! We just thought they might’ve had an advantage over others while joining us!” The first guard spoke, his friend couldn’t help but punch him in the guts over that, “What! You said the same thing, just yesterday!”

“And what would that advantage be?” Legolas asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I think,” The second guard said, visibly shaking, “My friend is referring to your friendship with the new guard.” 

The prince looked at them, sending shivers down the guards’ spines, a look so cold might’ve frozen them in their place, “Have either of you ever seen me being friends with them before they joined us?” The guards shook their heads, “Then what gives you the right to speak so poorly of them? Have they not fought on our side? Sacrificed themselves for us? Is it all in vain because you thought we were friends before?”

“It won’t happen again, we swear!” One of them said, and Legolas left their side before saying anything else that would eventually result in a fight.

Being approached by Legolas himself terrified them enough, so any word he spoke to them in that moment was enough fear for an eternal lifetime. Since, for the first time, they couldn’t find anything to say in return, causing the prince to leave them alone for the rest of their shift.

“I told you to shut up!” The second guard aggressively whispered to the other, “Feel lucky if we don’t get fired, idiot.”

“As if you weren’t complaining!”

For the rest of the night, the two guards kept on arguing as to who had complained the most, then guessing what would happen if they actually got fired, causing them to plan a whole future for themselves, just in case.

***

Legolas looked around cluelessly as he couldn’t find y/n at first. Then an acorn hit him on the head, causing him to look up, only to see his friend smiling at him from the top of a tree branch. He quickly climbed it and sat right next to them, their smile spreading to him. 

“Where were you?” They spoke quietly. 

Legolas looked away from them, pretending to monitor the ground, checking it for potential enemies, “I thought I heard something, went to check it out.” The other looked convinced, even if they were not, they didn’t push the question any further. This was something Legolas usually appreciated as having the option to ignore awkward situations helped the two greatly, everyone deserved their privacy after all.

“The forest is very quiet tonight, unusually quiet.” They turned to Legolas, “Nothing in the wind, not a single creature of the night moving…”

The prince looked back at them, “I noticed that too, adad** too, it’s stressing him out more than usual.”

The elf still seemed disturbed, “What is bothering you tonight?” The moon shone perfectly on their skin and long, neatly braided hair; Legolas just adored the sight next to him, yet that happiness quickly vanished from his mind as he saw their pained look. He put a hand on theirs reassuringly, waiting for them to talk.

“Have I not proven myself as a good fighter?” They spoke softly. It was rare to see y/n to complain about their problems: Legolas had to work with them for weeks and they only opened up about their issues with their mother after drinking several bottles of wine in y/n’s chambers. This was a great moment for the two to bond over, nothing quite like parental issues to help two people get closer.

So to see them like this, voice low and visibly upset, Legolas quickly regretted not putting arrows between their eyes. “You are a great fighter,” He said, “Is this about the rumors?”

The elf nodded, “I know it’s stupid and I try to ignore them as much as possible.” They briefly paused, “But I don’t want people to think I got here because of you. Not that anything is wrong with you but when people assume I got in with someone else’s help, I want to tear them apart.

“If I talk against them I’ll seem insecure and if I don’t they just keep going… You’d think that… after existing for a few thousand years they would be wise somehow—-but no, it’s more enjoyable to mock people.”

Legolas gently rubbed their hand with his thumb, which was much more physical contact that might be considered for their kind, but neither mentioned it. “I don’t think they’ll say anything from now on, at least we’ll hear them less.”

Embarrassment replaced sadness rather quickly and y/n let out a loud groan, “Don’t tell me you spoke to them yourself.” Seeing that his friend wasn’t truly mad at him, he nodded, “Give me a reason not to push you off this tree right now.”

“Because you actually appreciate me talking to them?” He squeezed y/n’s hand, “And I would just climb back up.”

Finally, Legolas saw them break into a smile, “You’re right, I actually appreciate that.” They placed a small kiss on Legolas’ cheek, “Thank you.” 

For the rest of the night, there were no enemies, only the two of them on that same branch. Legolas’ hand remained on top of y/n’s, they never muttered a word about it, as if it was the second most normal thing to share between the two. Either sitting in comfortable silence together or talking about distant memories. All and all, it was a peaceful night that the two of them enjoyed very much.

By early morning, other guards showed up to replace them in their shift, so the two of them walked back to Greenwood side by side, not necessarily hurrying to go back.

[perexcri]

there’s nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody but you - [byler week - day 5]

yeah so i thought this fit the secret identities thing until i wrote it and realized it uhh. isn’t quite that. so enjoy whatever this is i guess - lots of miscommunication and a fun set-up for potential enemies to lovers

also it’s my personal headcanon that Will is a music snob, so if you don’t like that then uh,,,,i guess skip this one idk

title from: wilson (expensive mistakes) by fall out boy

dedicated to: the listening party for fall out boy’s new album that i went to last week in a city an hour away from me; i came up with this stupid idea on the drive there! indie record store in [city redacted], you were very nice, and thank you for having a decent selection of poetry i could pick from :]

Don’t ask Will how this ended up being his job, because he honestly doesn’t know. One day, they had a meeting for the university’s queer artists’ zine where he was complaining about everyone’s responses to the new U2 album (yes, it sounds different from other U2 albums, but obviously if you look at the lyrical and metatextual themes of Achtung Baby, it’s still very much U2), and then BAM–suddenly he’s in charge of doing the cover art for the zine and writing music reviews.

Sure, he could probably turn it down, but nobody else will take the job.

Also, he’s pretty sure they wouldn’t do it right, because, as much as he loves this group, their music tastes are…well…not everybody has an older brother like Jonathan Byers who makes sure they grow up with proper music opinions.

So, if anything, Will does this to keep the spirit of reviewing and recommending underground artists in New York City alive for the zine, and also because he doesn’t think anybody else could do it justice, no offense to them.

But Will is loathing this job for their upcoming edition. He’s sitting in that weird liminal time between class periods where people are in the chaotic throes of rushing around or throwing their notebooks open to prepare for the lecture; his elbows are pressed into the desk that’s just a little too small, and his head is in his hands. He’s staring down at the one submission he’s been putting off for precisely three semesters, because the president of the zine said it needed to be done before they moved on to new submissions, so could you please just lower your standards for one night and go listen to them play so you can write the damn review?

The Fellowship of the Ring, the submission card reads in faded pencil. Scratched under it in the slightly-fresher ink of the zine’s president’s pen, it reads: Thursday - The Purple Hall - 8 PM.

And, God, Will wishes this show was just gonna be a live reading of the Tolkein book. It would be so much better than what he knows it actually is.

The Fellowship of the Ring is a local, up-and-coming act in the underground venues of the greater New York City area that everybody loves because they sound like Nirvana and, you guessed it, throw out Tolkein references like they’re Led Zeppelin. They’re huge on college campuses, where students pass around live-recorded tapes of their supposedly-legendary performances all the time, gushing about how even the bass sounds, the peeling shrieks of guitars, the way the vocalist wavers between grumbles and ethereal, falsetto howls. They even gush about the lyrics and how they truly capture the experiences of Western youth in these first few years of the new decade: malaise, boredom, this sense that there is no great struggle for the future left for them, only an endless drowning in comfortable excess.

Will had even seen a girl with the band’s logo tattooed on her shoulder.

Which is…fine. He guesses.

If you like shitty music, that is.

See, that’s the fundamental problem here: Will likes doing these silly little reviews for live music around New York because half the time, the music is passably decent, and even if that doesn’t work, the lyrics can make up for it. There’s so much creativity in the air, and people are doing so much with it.

Not The Fellowship of the Ring, though.

Where everybody else sees innovation, Will sees reductivity; where everybody screams about the charm of the lyrics and the pop culture references they sneak in, Will sees a demeaning pandering to an audience. Every single time he has been subjected to the squawks and out-of-tune guitars of The Fellowship, he’s spent his time thinking he would be better off to save himself the time and just listen to Nirvana’s Nevermind for the millionth time, because that’s all The Fellowship’s trying to do, anyway, and at least then Will could listen to something good.

Yeah, Will hates The Fellowship of the Ring, and now he’s squeezing his temples so hard that the letters on the submission card are beginning to swim in his vision.

“Hey!”

Thankfully, Will is saved by his very friendly, incredibly good-looking neighbor in History of the American Constitution, Mike Wheeler.

“Hey!” he says, trying to gain back the energy that seeing The Fellowship’s submission card had unwittingly drained out of him.

And honestly, seeing that flash of Mike’s smile and how the fluorescents dance in his eyes, Will feels like he has enough energy to power the sun now, even if they are going to have to sit through yet another lecture about Article II–whatever the hell that means.

“What’s got you so down?” Mike asks, head tilted to the side, some of his hair tumbling into his eyes, and all Will wants to do is push it away–

But, no, he has to have a coherent conversation right now, so he shakes his head and tries his best to return Mike’s smile. “Oh, nothing…Just something for that zine I work on.”

“Oh, yeah!” Mike snaps his fingers, causing some of the buttons on his jacket to rattle together. He always wears a leather jacket no matter the weather or the rest of his attire, and today, paired with plaid pajama bottoms, held-together-by-duct-tape converse, and a baggy Care Bears shirt, it shouldn’t work, but in Will’s eyes, it does. “I think I saw one of those around! I wanted to grab a copy, but somebody else did before I could get to it.”

“I can bring you a copy of the next issue,” Will says, then, remembering the task at hand, groans and puts his head back in his hands. “That is, if I even survive it.”

“What, are they making you skip classes for it?”

“No, worse: they’re making me listen to a band I hate.”

Mike winces. “Yikes.”

“Yeah.”

“That sucks.”

“Right?”

“Can’t you just, like…push it off?”

“I did. For three semesters.” The professor wanders in with a mumbled greeting and a steaming cup of coffee in hand, and Will lowers his voice in anticipation of the lecture beginning. “That’s why I have to do it now.”

“Maybe it would help if somebody went with you?”

Despite having flirted with each other mercilessly all semester during this one shared class of theirs, they haven’t hung out much outside of it, so to be faced with the possibility of something that could potentially be labeled as a date between them is shocking. For a moment, Will can forget about the future torment awaiting him Thursday evening at The Purple Hall’s listening stage, and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, having somebody to talk to over the drone of the lazily-played guitars could make the evening slightly more bearable.

“Yeah,” Will finally says, a grin stretching across his face. “Of course. Yeah, that’d be awesome!”

Mike returns the look twofold, and one of his legs begins to bounce. “Awesome! When is it?”

As the lecture begins, Will resorts to a torn piece of notebook paper, like he’s a kid passing notes in class again to survive the boredom. He scribbles The Purple Hall - Thursday 7 PM, then hands it to Mike, who responds with a quizzical look at the paper, scratches something out, and hands it back to Will.

The Purple Hall - Thursday 7 PM 6?

Will shoots him a thumbs up, prays it wasn’t too awkward, and then folds the sheet of paper up and sticks it in his pocket.

And if he carries it around there for the rest of the week, then that’s his business alone.

---

The pros: this is one of Will’s favorite music venues, there’s several bands to look forward to tonight, and Mike seems wholly invested in the idea of this being a date, if him leaning closer and the playful hand on Will’s knee mean anything.

The cons: Will has to listen to the fucking Fellowship of the Ring in approximately ten minutes.

He’s able to put the thoughts off for the first hour. After all, The Fellowship isn’t set to perform until 8–he and Mike had met at 6 as planned, and Will has spent the first hour and a half trying to be blissfully unaware of the torturous fate awaiting him.

Even as his skin begins to crawl at the thought of having to hear those plucky, out-of-tune guitars and the lead singer screeching about the Gulf War under the guise of Star Wars references, he does feel a little settled. Mike’s fingers are surprisingly warm, and the alcohol they’ve been nursing makes his chest glow with warmth. It’s easier to laugh, to be focused solely on Mike and these wonderful, looping conversations they’ve found themselves ensnared in.

“This one’s good!” Mike half-shouts over the drum solo of the current act, consisting of just a drummer and a bassist crooning over their heady rhythms. They’re called the Jazz Squares, or something like that. Whatever.

At least they’re not The Fellowship.

“The drink or the band?” Will queries. His own head’s spinning with the beer he’s been sipping on for the better part of an hour, and he already feels lightheaded, because he’s a lightweight, and Mike’s got something to do with these pulses of courage thumping in his chest, right?

“Both!” Mike takes another long sip from his Jolly-Rancher-blue mixer. Will had asked him what was in it earlier, and all Mike had responded with was Coconut-something and a whole lot of rum!

They’ve talked about so much already–their families, their majors, their hobbies. Mike comes here a lot, he reveals, and he mentions that he plays guitar, too. He keeps it a playful secret when Will asks for more information, though: how long have you played? Do you write, too? Are you in a band, because I could put you in the zine if you wanted–

It’s a surpriseee, Mike had drawled in response, a stupid grin twisting his mouth as his fingers had vacated Will’s knee momentarily just to ruffle through Will’s hair.

As the Jazz Squares’ set finally dies down to some spotty applause (this is more of an alternative scene, after all, but a gig is a gig), Will lets out a groan, melodramatically knocking his forehead into the table, and finally drags out his notebook.

“What’s that for?” Mike asks, eyebrows high on his forehead.

“For that review I have to do,” Will grumbles.

“But isn’t that act on in, like, two hours?”

Will blinks a couple of times. He supposes he hadn’t actually told Mike which group he was here for, but he thought the fact that he originally proposed a meet-up time of 7 would have communicated enough that it was somewhere around then. “Um, no? I didn’t say anything, I guess, but I think they’re up next.”

Mike’s fingers begin to nervously tap on what remains of his electric blue potion. As his and Will’s gazes snag together for several heady seconds, he purses his lips, then throws back the rest of his drink, swallowing the last of it in just a couple of gulps.

Will slowly draws his notebook out, flipping to the page he had specifically marked The Fellowship of the Ring with a disheartened, frighteningly life-like frowny face scrawled next to it. “Is something wrong?”

Mike drags his wrist across his mouth, smearing any remaining drops of blue onto his leather jacket’s sleeve. “So this band you hate that you have to review…It’s The Fellowship of the Ring?”

“Yeah.” Will taps the top of his paper. “I didn’t say anything, but…Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“Why?”

“Um.”

Will quirks an eyebrow up. “I mean, do you like them? That’s fine, of course, I mean–people have different tastes and what-not. I’d just have to seriously question your judgment in all matters music-related, I guess.”

“Um,” Mike repeats, fingers now tapping a dangerously fast staccato against their bartop table. It makes the remaining beer in Will’s bottle slosh around. “Um…This is bad.”

“What? Are you a super fan or something?” Thanks to the alcohol, Will feels bold enough to scrunch his nose up with disgust. “I mean, fine, whatever. But seriously, if you want a second date, I’m gonna take you to a record store so you can hear some actually decent music. If you’re impressed by that fucking band’s reductive bullshit, you’ll be positively amazed by a group like The Clash or Smashing Pumpkins or–hell, even fucking U2–”

“Excuse me!” the MC calls over the mic; when the feedback whines, he takes a second to tap at the mic, then announces: “Calling everyone’s favorite up-and-coming group, The Fellowship of the Ring, for soundcheck–their set starts in five!”

The club erupts into raucous cheers. Will has to hide the involuntary groan of annoyance he lets out behind his hand.

Mike casts a nervous glance at Will, then pushes his chair out and looks like he’s going to walk away, the buttons on his jacket clicking together. He nearly trips over the saggy laces of his converse, and through the tears in his jeans, he almost looks like he’s shaking.

“Hey, wait!” Will says, reaching forward and grasping Mike’s wrist. It makes the other guy stop, a blush creeping up into his cheeks, and Will tries to push down his distaste for the band and lets out a sigh. “Listen, I’m sorry–I was being stupid. It’s just a band, after all. If you like them, that’s fine, and I will…” he swallows here, and it hurts, taking on this insurmountable task of trying to push his music-snob’s pride down. “I won’t make fun of you for it. I promise.”

Mike blinks a couple of times before a reassuring grin overtakes his features. “Uh…Nope. That’s okay, Will. It’s not for everyone. I wasn’t like…trying to run out on you or anything.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I’m still gonna be here.”

“Then why are you getting up?”

Mike points at the stage, where a drummer and bassist are setting up their instruments, their eyes scanning the room in search of their infamous guitarist and singer. “Didn’t you hear? We have soundcheck. The set starts in five.”

Will slowly nods. “Yeah. Then the next act starts, and I have to scratch down whatever notes I can think of for them, and then we can get back to our date.”

Mike stares at him for several seconds.

And then it all catches up with Will.

“Oh, shit–”

Mike’s grin turns into something playful, his eyebrows shooting up beneath his bangs. “Can’t wait to read your official review of my fucking band’s reductive bullshit!” he says with a two-fingered salute, then spins around to make his way to the stage. He’s bathed in the dim lighting of the stage, hunching over his guitar the second he straps it around his chest, and Will wonders how somebody who was brave enough to wander around in a leather jacket and a fucking Care Bears shirt and look that good could be involved in a band that’s just–

This bad, Will finishes for himself as Mike strums his first cord, its electricity shaking the walls of the club, and he begins yet another signature Fellowship song that’s nothing more than various John Hughes and horror movie quotes juxtaposed over warring drums and guitars.

Of course Will would be stupid enough to fall for the lead singer of his most-hated band in the greater New York City area.

[nerdyenby]

Blue time :D I’m watching Joel

Pregame

I watched the first 20 minutes on Saturday without writing anything lol

TUNA ON PIZZA??!?!!!?!???! I like tuna as much as the next guy (probably more if we’re honest) but that is a solid no, tuna is meant to be eaten cold

“‘Who’s your favorite YouTuber?’ LDshadowlady of course, she’s great” They’re so cute I could perish

Joel saying he couldn’t choose between Jimmy and Grian because “they’re both my bad boys” The bad boys being the most wholesome group in the series is everything to me, actually

I’ve only just started to watch Joel more regularly but I’m glad he’s maximizing his bi wife energy :))

“I’m playing full screen now because I’m not a nerd- I’m not a noob anymore” and H is so proud

Joel is SMASHING that parkour!!!

Simultaneous quick changes but instead of outfits it’s accents

Slowly accumulating all the empires peeps :)))

The kazoo driving them all insane

“I don’t wanna play anymore” so true Scott

Bingo but Fast

How many pics have I watched that just never noticed the old lady hat???

Ok yeah this is their domain, I don’t know who else would’ve looked at that bingo card and instantly made a composter lol

The overly loud ace race music instantly flooding Joel’s (and my) veins with adrenaline

Guys I think it might be scuffed

They had such good comms and organization

Them all taking a solid fifteen seconds to figure out what order Joel and Scott’s usernames are in alphabetically

Battle Box

Y’all I think Scott watched the update video /j

The carrot mechanics get more scuffed the more people try to understand them lol

Okay so I’ve never actually watched fWhip and I thought his name was Jim for a second there but Scott was just saying “Gem” slightly more Scottish than usual

“Guys it’s okay, at the end of the day, we won bingo and that’s all that really matters” so true Scott

“Keep away from Bakyamon and Punz” “And Oli, ‘cause he smells” Joel 😂

Scott saying they aren’t even communicating well, they are, just not effortfully lol

“It’s the Empires synergy” so true

Joel best bingo player on the planet, real and true

Hole in the Wall

They’re so fixated on the veggies lol

“I love hole in the wall… sometimes… when I have good ping” conditional love smh

Joel just laughing midgame “This is so stupid” it is /pos

The way they were more intensely focused doing calls for Scott than when actually playing lol

“How did they make hole in the wall more stressful???” “ The eating” I love you Gem (I know she continued talking but that’s what I heard and it’s funnier this way)

Survival Games

Joel and Scott losing their minds over the map lol

The more perspectives I watch the more convinced I am that there is not a good spawn in this map

They’re all just vibing, they’re so calm lol

A skybase above a skybase? What is this, Limited Life??? (I’m so funny)

This sg feeling like a mashup of skybattle and tgttos is so quirky of it

Joel and fWhip running for their lives while Gem and Scott are doing a let’s play 😭

“Oh you’re a top? Wow” SCOTT!!!

Joel almost saying that was the weirdest skybattle lmao

He’s so proud of Oli ;-;

“Blummin’ stupid Elon Musk” based

Joel talking about how nice it is that there’s not as much pressure for this MCC, about to get first individual

The joined the halftime show at the perfect time to get exactly zero context and no instrumental lol

TGTTOSAWAF

Joel’s such a hater lol

“I always follow the girlies, the girlies got me” so true Gem

The way Joel said “my wife!! 😩”

First time I’ve actually seen someone complete breakdown lol

Noxcrew proving Gem wrong instantly

“We expected more from MCC organizer but like, it’s fine Scott, it’s okay” fWhip 😂

They’re all so proud of Oli :((

“My favorite chicken <3” “I’m the best chicken!!” Scott and Gem my beloveds

Sands of Time

“Get that wooden arrow” “Wooden arrow?” “Wooden key arrow” “… Rusty” “Rusty, yeah” fWhip is going through it

“What is scuffed about this?” “Joel don’t complain, just take the blessing and run” so true Scott

Noooo you were right the first time Joel

That felt so much louder and longer than usual, I knew it was coming but the dread just made it worse lol

The way Joel evades mobs is somehow both satisfying and vaguely uncomfortable to watch

They did so good :D

Joel checking to see how Lizzie’s team did <333

FWhip pointing out the Pac-Man looking mouths on pink’s skins, I thought the same thing!!

Big Sales at Build Mart

Everyone freaking out at the Oreo logo is my favorite thing

“I’m really loving the rainbow flag representation” so true Scott

Don’t beat yourself up Gem, it happens to everyone at some point

Joel is such a good runner 😭😭😭

I knew this was their game but watching them demolish it is something else entirely

Scott is so surprised that Oli’s still in 2nd, it’s understandable but it’s so funny

“I’m in 3rd overall??? Okay, okay, that’s crazy. Catching up with my boy, catching up with Oli” Joel :)))

“No matter what, somebody from Empires is gonna bring it home” fWhip :((( /pos

“I will also say, no matter what, everyone guessed us at like 5th and we have been popping off this event” “They should’ve known were more scuffed than that” so true Gem

Skyblockle

They’re so upset lol

Gem asking “What’s skyblockle?” And Scott instantly crowning her igl is so iconic (especially knowing how it ends lol)

The close quarters resulting in accidental hot potato with diamonds 😭

This is how skyblockle was meant to be played, I’ve never watched a skyblockle where everyone was comfortable and felt like they knew what they were doing before lol

They cleared cyan so cleanly but I know that’s gonna be painful from their pov lol

FWhip saying it’s safe and instantly almost falling off the edge 😂

I have no idea what’s happening but it seems to be working out for them lol

JOEL’S INSANE!!! HOLY CRAP!!!!!

THATS AN ENTIRE MASSACRE!!!!

They’re all so proud of each other!!!

“Empires repping!!” SO TRUE SCOTT

Dodgebolt

Sam and Scott’s banter :))

Joel jokingly saying Punz is easy and Sam being actually toxic “they also have Phil so they have a few good people” sir 😭

Sam hyping everyone up :)))

JOEL’S POPPING OFF!!!

Rip Gem jinxed it /j

He might not’ve not 1v4’d but he went 3/3 when he was the last man standing which is still crazy epic of him

Joel turning to ask if anyone hasn’t got to shoot yet :(( /pos

Joel jinxing Gem right back lol

The temptation to make angst out of the urgency Sam told Scott to shoot him despite them having never(?) been on a lore server together

Oli and Joel’s trade <333

Why do I feel like Skeppy hasn’t spoken at all?? Is his mic broken or am I just not paying attention???

“Gem said it’s not women’s history month I can kill another woman” stop reading her mind Scott, those were inside thoughts

FWhip getting the winning shot :))

Sam profusely apologizing to the frog 😭

Oli and Joel enthusiastically congratulating each other :D

Joel did so good!!!! They all did!!!!!

[celice-13]

Cycle

Tw: Writing about social axiety, trust and abandonment issues

September 2

I met new friends online recently. It happened just like that, on a random social media. You probably think it’s stupid, that it won’t last more than a month. Yet it’s been forever since I’ve been so happy. For once, I want to believe it’s real. Not that you care anyway. I won’t even bother presenting them to you. I’ll just leave you in peace, since that’s what you’ve obviously always wanted. I don’t need you anymore anyway.

Kind regards,

The sock you threw away

September 3

I told you yesterday I wouldn’t tell you about my new friend group. You know what? I lied. I guess I just really want to talk about them. So, here goes.

First, there’s Malicia. She’s very kind, and caring. She’s always the first one to ask “how are you” and to notice if something’s off. She loves drawing animals, so she often goes on walks in the forest to practice on those she sees. She’s very good at it.

Then, there’s Theo. He’s very funny. He sends a lot of good memes on random topics, and always knows how to make people laugh, even when they’re feeling down. He loves cartoons. Apparently his parents are constantly looking down on him because of that, but he doesn’t care. I admire that a bit, to be honest.

Finally, there’s Ray. Just like their name implies, they’re a true ray of sunshine. They always use a lot of emotes in their messages, and show a lot of interest in what we say or experience. They love singing and even write their own songs from time to time. It’s nice to have someone who shares my love for writing, if only a little bit.

Maybe you think it’s creepy to know so much about people I’ve only just met. And I’ve not even told you a quarter of what I know. I’m just really eager to know as much about them as possible, so I can be a good friend. Unlike you.

Kind regards,

The book you never finished

September 7

Yesterday Malicia asked if we wanted to play Uno online with her. I couldn’t come, and they all seemed sad about it. And yet they still spent a great time together, without me. I should be happy for them, right? Yeah, I should. So why does it feel like they don’t actually need me? I hate when I think like that. And it’s all because of you.

Kind regards,

The song you stopped listening to

September 20

I messed up. Theo asked about our opinion on his favorite character from a cartoon, and I said something dumb in response. He seemed really upset that I didn’t understand his favorite character right. It made me so sad I almost felt like crying. Of course, I didn’t. Seems like you took my ability to cry away with you when you left. The other day I talked about wanting to know my friends as much as possible, but in the end it looks like it doesn’t prevent me from being a terrible friend. Why am I like this?

Kind regards,

The pen you lent and never asked back

October 3

Alright, that’s enough complaining. In case you haven’t noticed - wait, who am I kidding? Of course you didn’t - I haven’t talked to you these past few days. That’s because everything’s going well. I really got worried over nothing. Sure, Theo was a bit upset at the moment, but he didn’t mean to make me feel bad. He’s just that passionate about his interests. And a week ago Malicia offered to play Uno again, and this time I was able to join. We laughed so much the neighbors knocked on the wall to tell me to shut up (I didn’t). 

I guess I really have a tendency to freak out about the smallest things. But it’s fine. Now that I’m aware of it, I’ll be more careful. I won’t lose my friends again.

Kind regards,

The old phone you discarded for the newest one

October 25

I guess I’m a big liar, huh? Being aware of my problems won’t solve them. Who was I kidding? I was away for one day and no one noticed. Of course, there were other times where I wouldn’t reply for that long because I was busy doing something else, and would get angry at anyone who’d disturb me. They probably thought I was too busy to talk again. So why does it feel so different? Why does it feel like my absence doesn’t change anything? 

Sometimes I dream of disappearing for a few days, and coming back to see who noticed. But I’d be too scared to discover no one cared.

Kind regards,

The old toy you got tired of

November 6

Why can’t I be normal about friendship? Why do I always have to doubt everything? Why does the smallest message seem to imply “we don’t actually need you here, you’re not important”? I hate thinking like that, but I can’t help it. I hope you’re proud of what you’ve done, because this is all your fault.

Kind regards,

The ripped-up plush abandoned in the corner

November 15

Malicia asked me if I was doing alright. I once said she was very attentive, and yet she’s never asked before. I guess that’s because she only cares about her true friends. So I lied, and said I was alright even though each message exchanged with them feels more and more like I’m forcing myself to be someone I’m not. After all, if they already don’t care much about the happy, I’m sure to be left behind if they ever meet the fucked-up me. Isn’t that what you did anyway? I guess I’ll never know. You didn’t even bother to tell me. 

Kind regards,

The broken glass waiting to be dumped

November 24

It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It 

IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS 

ITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTS

I hate you.

December 1

I couldn’t talk. It’s a strange feeling, not being able to talk anymore. There are so many words stuck in your throats, so many that want to come out that they get stuck. You can’t say anything, you can’t write anything. My friends probably thought I was just being rude and ignoring them. We’re drifting apart, I can feel it. I don’t feel included in their conversation anymore, because there are less and less days where I can talk normally without feeling like I don’t deserve to be part of their group. At this point I’m just a number in the group’s stats.

Maybe I should leave. Wouldn’t that be for the best? You probably hoped I’d do that, and, when you realized I wouldn’t, you did it yourself. If I’d known, I’d have left first.

Kind regards,

The dry plant you forgot to water

December 3

I’m sorry. All this time I’ve been blaming you for my problems, but maybe I should finally admit it. It’s my fault. I was annoying, I was asking for too much attention. It became so overwhelming you had no other choice but to leave to protect yourself. You were the first person I truly felt close to, the first to truly listen to me. But I took advantage of your kindness and asked too much from you. Yeah, it really was my fault if you left in the end. So maybe it would hurt less if this time, I’m the one to leave.

Kind regards, 

I’m sorry

December 5

I left. I left my friend group. Well, I guess I shouldn’t call them friends anymore, should I? I lost that right now.

It’s funny how simple it was. Just one click, and it was all over. No more doubt. No more pretending, from me and from them. Now the only thing I have left is my loneliness. But it’s fine, I’ll get used to it. I have to.

People say human beings can’t stand loneliness. But what about those who aren’t meant for relationships of any kind? I’ve destroyed every friendship I’ve ever created. I poison them. Yes, poison. I like that word. I’m toxic. I look for new friends, I get invested hoping this time it will go better, and then I start being a hindrance until I drag the ones I’m supposed to love with me. And then I leave, and the cycle restarts. I’m toxic. And it all started with you. I won’t start blaming you again. As I said, it’s my fault you left. But ever since, I’m always destroying the new bonds I forge. 

So, yeah, I should probably just give up on friendship, and get used to loneliness. That way, I won’t destroy anyone again. About time I realized it, you’d say. And you’re right. I’ve caused enough damage already. It’s time to stop.

Kind regards, 

The friend you left behind

July 30

I met new friends online recently. It happened just like that, on a random social media. You probably think it’s stupid, that it won’t last more than a month. Yet it’s been forever since I’ve been so happy. For once, I want to believe it’s real. Not that you care anyway. I won’t even bother presenting them to you. I’ll just leave you in peace, since that’s what you’ve obviously always wanted. I don’t need you anymore anyway.

Kind regards,

The one who can’t forget you

[citizen-zero]

I know this would definitely be an unpopular opinion in online horror groups but I HAAAATE hate hate hate the story Borrasca and I don’t understand why (or actually maybe I do) this is the one people decided to obsess over when that author has a lot of much better stories.

It’s not even because I don’t think themes of sexual abuse belong in horror. They’re not usually my cup of tea but like, it’s fine. I just don’t think it was done well in this story and it sincerely feels as if the author ran out of ideas and decided to go for shock value to end the story. Which is infuriating because the story was so well written and engaging until that point. Like I’m not complaining because I don’t like the content of the story, I’m complaining because it was badly executed.

Honestly I feel like it’s because of the sexual themes that it got popular, which is frustrating for a couple reasons but for me it’s just. Are you so titillated by this that you’re just ignoring that it was a shittily-written twist ending that threw out a lot of great build up in exchange forrrrrrrr that?

Idk idk like part of me thinks I should give it another listen because it’s been a few years but the rest of me feels like my original gut instinct was right because my original reaction was so visceral that I remember clearly years later. The story was great and then it sucked shit

[octoooo]

It’s time for me to ramble about my Splatoon characters <3

Gonna be a long post, I can’t stop talking about these squiggly guys

First up is Yuki <3

He’s actually my in-game character and has been since I started playing Splatoon 2 in 2019.

ANYWAY He’s 19, aro/ace and uses he/they pronouns. Proficient with Dualie Squelchers and Heavy Splatling but do Not put a charger in his hands he will let you die (accidentally)

Family was part of the Octarian group forced underground post-Great Turf War. He grew up in Inkopolis Square after escaping. I say his family is “part of” because I’m pretty sure not all of the Octarian race was forced away. Some of them had to have escaped.

Being a pro ink-battler would be cool, he was a pretty decent soldier underground,but back then he battled for survival and recognition. Turf and Ranked made fighting fun. Took the games too seriously at first. He was used to the harsh training underground and knew that either you had what it took or you didn’t. And if he didn’t (aka being discharged from the military) then what else was he to do?

Certainly there were other jobs underground; the food hunters who scavenged the barren lands they lived in, “scientists” and “electricians” who worked in ways to keep their world alive & running despite the circumstances.

(It’s in quotes because,,,,I mean I can’t really say they’re qualified. Their knowledge would be helpful but not equivalent to a scientific or engineering degree up in Inkopolis)

He's a little ashamed to admit that, for quite some time, he harbored hatred for his related species (Inklings). They have everything, took everything from his own people yet still have the nerve to complain and be ungrateful. But he worked through this & doesn’t think like that anymore.

Had a lot of reflecting to do. Often would throw himself into Ranked to forget about it, but that wouldn’t last long. He had to come to terms with the fact that he has nothing on the surface. It’s what his people dreamed of, and he’s not trying to be ungrateful, but it’s not like he had a family, or anywhere to go at first. Technically he had it all in his old underground home; stable income, amicable neighbors, decent reputation due to his military service & status. But up in Inkopolis he has none of that. He lived in the shadows of alleys, no money and no way to get it,

Honestly if Inklings knew of his Octarian military service they would likely only distance more from him.

Speaking of Inklings; they were,,,alright. Some of them couldn’t even tell he was an Octoling from underground until he spoke. Those who could tell showed him nothing but hostility. It doesn’t help much that he didn’t know a lick of modern Inklish.

(The most Inklish he knew was of the old script used 100+ years ago that they teach underground, so he talks like a grandpa)

He spent his early days hiding in alleys watching the locals go about their days. He would always notice the younger Inklings with weapons going to and from the Great Zapfish Tower (we know it’s the battle lobby but that’s what he’d call it) and a weapons shop.

He went to the Battle tower first, but quickly realized you need both a weapon and gear to play (play what though? He had no idea but he’s interested now). After being pointed in the right direction, he was freshly equipped with a splattershot jr, basic gear and ready for turf war.

For a while, he kept losing because he was focused on getting kills, and his teammates did Not like him. It doesn’t help that he can’t understand them either, so when they say to play objective (ink the ground) he doesn’t listen.

It took him some months, a lot of awkward hovering around inkling convos, and a good amount of teammates yelling at him, for him to learn more modern Inklish. When he did, he finally got to read the rules of turf war & gave it another shot. Things got better from there; he earned money for a small apartment, got more weapons, became more social (he still talks like a grandpa most of the time), but he still has that self-reflecting to do.

His first Splatfest was a bit of a disaster? It was Pancakes vs Waffles and he thought there was an absolute correct answer. Making decisions in the military is more cut & dry and each option has consequences so it’s important to pick the right choice. He tried getting people to understand that pancakes were the better choice and that something bad would befall the people who chose waffle (then waffle won and he had to eat his words. He kinda panicked thinking something bad actually would happen)

What drew him to the Splatlands was that people kept asking him if he was from there. The inklings on the surface eventually kinda learn that Octolings live in the Splatlands, but few know that many of them survived underground. When he answers that he’s from the underground they give him a weird look. Eventually he decides to visit the Splatlands and loves it!

It’s an organized mess and there’s a bigger presence of his own culture there compared to Inkopolis Square. It’s a little different but still of the same roots.

-

I also wanna touch on why he’s trans since like,,it wasn’t just a random choice to add spice to his traits. So back when I got Splatoon 2 in early 2019, I played & beat Octo Expansion. I usually used the male character. Something about him just made me go “yaaayayay.” At this point in life, I knew I wasn’t trans but I had recently experimented with chest binding and he/him pronouns, and decided that it wasn’t the right fit for me. Maybe that’s why I used the male model? Maybe not, it’s not important really.

I used that male Octoling kind of as a persona. If I wanted to draw a Splatoon doodle about me and some friends then I would use our in-game characters rather than us irl. Makes sense. But drawing him was kinda,,,odd. I wanted him to be the In-game model but I am a female irl and have a fairly large chest, so I wanted my drawings to reflect that. All I did was slap in a bump for the chest when I drew him, but that was enough for me. And since the character in-game is male, I kept referring to him as such.

Over time (and moving into Splat3) my character became less of me. I drew and imagined him as confident and loud and in all these scenarios I wouldn’t be in. Once I started feeling disconnected from him, I knew something had to change (and I had become more open with online friends, so I had no need to hide behind my character anyway).

I decided to separate entirely(?) from him. While some things that I am (aro/ace) and do (play dualies & heavy splatling) remain as part of him, he is no longer an extension of me. I gave him a backstory, along w/ Redd who I will get into later, and I drew him as the character I wanted him to be rather than who I am.

That was a lot, and I’m not done because now it’s time for:

Redd <3

(I don’t have as many drawings of her </3)

Despite the outfit and outward demeanor, is not outspoken or brave like her cousin. She’s soft spoken & introverted & would probably cry if she were yelled at.

Currently pro-ish ink battler, happened on accident though! She was doing some turf & ranked for fun but in a few matches she ran into her soon to be teammates who wanted to hang w/ her more.

(In my mind there’s like,,pro ink battle leagues. Like how we have NFL, NBA, etc, Sploon world would have professional Ink Battle leagues. The turf/ranked games they play as young squid-kids is similar to playing football or basketball in school. It’s a hobby/interest that could lead you to the big leagues one day. Unless that’s all canon to Splatoon already)

Yuki is like,,,lowkey jealous bc Redd has all this natural skill & doesn’t even want to be a pro battler. Also it’s a little embarrassing and emasculating that he (a well ranked and respected soldier) performs worse than his squishy cousin.

As I said; she’s not even into ink battles. They’re fun and all but doing it long term is not what she has planned. She had a hard time telling her teammates this & struggles to find excuses to skip practice. (Yuki is helping her become more confident & outspoken, but progress is slow).

She’s Interested in making music, and enjoys upbeat jams. She’s inspired by, Deep Cut, ChirpyChips & Squid Squad (“Kraken Up” is her Song)

Her teammates aren’t rude or forceful about their practice, they just don’t know that Redd isn’t all that interested. They'd still be friends & even support her music career.

-

As for her and Yuki’s connected history; Redd was born and raised in the Splatlands. Her family used to live around Inkopolis but when word spread about Octarians fate post-Great Turf War (going underground) they successfully fled to the Splatlands where they’ve been living ever since. They were unsuccessful in bringing the entire family, having to split in order for at least half the family to escape.

It isn’t until Yuki is 19 and visits Splitsville that they meet. I don’t really know how or when or why this next part happens; but they open up to each other & as they talk abt their family they realize that the missing pieces of their own family history is filled in by the other’s story. (Lmao I imagine Yuki talking abt his great grandma like “yea her brother kinda left her for dead.” (he’s bitter about it) & Redd just thinks “hm. Reminds me of my great grandad who felt like he left his sister for dead,,,”

(Specifically Redd’s great grandfather escapes w/ his kids but has to leave his sister behind, who ends up being Yuki’s great grandma. (I think I have these familial titles right?)

Anyway yeehaww Yuki & Redd are distant cousins!

(While their shared backstory serves as a good amount of evidence, they do some further genetic testing to prove it for sure.)

[aeoki]

Seven Bridges - Love and Peace?: Chapter 4

Location: Yumenosaki Garden Terrace Characters: Mika

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< A memory. The first year ES was established, early May. >

Mika: Hmm, so that’s what the “producer course” is like.

Anzu-chan, yer so strong. I wouldn’t be able to put up with it if it was me.

Yeah, the “producer course” only started actually becomin’ a thing this year, huh. All the other students are new students this year.

In terms of position, yer the only “third-year”, Anzu-chan, but you can’t take classes by yerself, so you’ve been put with the students in the lower grade, right?

That’s gotta be awkward… Yer the only one who’s different so yer bound to feel like you don’t belong.

If I was in yer shoes, I don’t think I’d wanna go to school anymore. It feels like yer the only one who’s redoin’ the year.

Huh? That’s the same as last year? If anythin’, it’s better than being the only girl in a sea of boys?

Yeah, I guess that’s true. There were only “male idols” around you last year, but you had to take the same classes as them despite being the sole “female producer”.

Compared to that, would it be better now that yer surrounded by other “producers” instead? They’re all people who’re in the same group and position as you.

If you look at it normally, things were just weird last year. Why did they only make you transfer to a school that’s basically all boys?

Ngh~ You don’t really know anythin’ about that either, huh. Well, this is Yumenosaki after all – Maybe someone’s plottin’ somethin’.

Oh well. In hindsight, it looks like yer days are youthful and fulfillin’.

Ehehe. I figured I could lend an ear if you wanted to complain and vent yer stress, so I came over to chat while I was doing my “school job”, but I guess it was needless worry.

Anzu-chan, you’ve got such a great look on your face…♪

Ngh~? Yer happy ‘cause you finally got to learn about the basics of the producer industry in the “producer course”?

Yeah, you were suddenly thrown into the deep end last year, huh…

That’s gotta be a pretty valuable experience since you’ve only had the theory after all those classes, but you couldn’t put it into practice and stuff.

Like the swimmin’ on top of tatami mats proverb, you ask?

Yeah, that ♪

Hehe. Maybe the “idol course” started learnin’ from CosPro, but there are a lot more classes on “idol studies” now.

To be honest, I don’t know if it’ll actually be useful in our idol activities though.

In fact, I think one can gain a lot more if they just went out there and did their idol activities.

ES has all the things set up for anyone to do that, after all.

Hmm. That’s what everyone’s thinkin’, huh. There are a lot of people doing their idol activities at ES.

I see. It’s ‘cause as long as it’s not a project started by ES, they can’t gain a reward – in other words, “L$” – through the dreamfests that are only limited to the school?

It’d just be like doing any other work, huh. There’s a restriction on who can come see the dreamfests too, so even if you do your best, it’s hard to estimate how many of your fans will be there.

But even so, thanks to “Trickstar’s” revolution, it looks like most of the second and third-year students are actively taking part in dreamfests.

I’m not trying to criticise anyone but it’s only natural that the new students wouldn’t know about “Trickstar’s” revolution.

That’s why the new students – the young ones – would naturally prioritise ES over Yumenosaki.

I see, that’s what the young kids are like, huh… That’s useful knowledge.

Hehe. The more young people there are around me, the more outdated and anxious I feel.

That’s why it’s probably more shameless and painful to force myself to follow what they’re doin’.

No matter how the things around us change, we’ll continue to run down our own path at full speed — That’s what “Valkyrie” is all about.

It’ll be better for us to go after what makes us us rather than carin’ about what the people ‘round us are doin’.

Oh no… I was plannin’ on listenin’ to yer complaints, but we ended up doin’ the exact opposite.

Ngh~ That’s what a “producer” does? That’s true but…

I feel pretty bad since it feels like we idols are always on the receivin’ end.

Producers and other staff members all support the idol. Even if it’s somethin’ obvious…

Who would be there for you if yer goin’ through a hard time, Anzu-chan?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →