#and i kept telling him. because i have a uti

[segretecose]

one thing about male pharmacists they love shouting the name of your pussy medication especially when there’s a queue and like i personally dgaf i’ll tell people i have a yeast infection for free but not everybody’s like that and it doesn’t help that medication names are always like gyno 3000 cleanvaginerr plus

[rustedleopard]

I do think that Ceroba and Chujin wouldn't stay together if he hadn't had died, but I wonder what would actually lead to a divorce between them. Beyond the fact that they love each other, Ceroba idolizes him and Chujin keeps secrets that encourage that thinking.

Does it start with her finding out about those secrets? She didn't seem all too bothered by them in UTY, though that could very well be influenced by the fact he's dead and she doesn't want to disrespect his legacy.

What are your thoughts on it?

Building resentment over a period of months/years.

Ceroba admires Chujin way too much to find fault with him keeping secrets. In fact, in the Steamworks, she admits that she knew that Chujin kept secrets and was fine with it anyways. So if she found out about the secret lab under the kotatsu early and how Chujin dedicated himself to making a serum that would make monsters strong enough to oppose humans, all she'd think is "How noble and brave and selfless of my husband to do all of this for monsterkind. He's so wonderful. ♡" Hell, she'd probably help and encourage him with crafting the serum as much as she could.

The most I can see her doing to deter him would be telling him to take a break if the serum is making him a bit sick. More in a, "I know you're on the right track and you'll get it right and save everyone, but you need to take care of yourself if you're gonna be able to do this" sort of way, not a "You can't do this, it's impossible, you're going about this all wrong. Please stop risking your health for our sake, what about our family?" sort of way. So instead of an outright sprint into an untimely demise, Chujin would've done more of a "start-and-stop" marathon into his untimely demise. Whoops! Her admiration would still blind her to the fact that this isn't something he can accomplish and she'd blame herself (even more than she already does) for Chujin's death when it happens because she should've known better, she should've done something to help him more or better or something, oh god she murdered her own husband (despite how experimenting on himself was also his choice).

So if finding out Chujin's secrets wouldn't deter her, where does the resentment come from? Well, towards the end of the relationship, Ceroba was both the breadwinner for the house and the housewife while Chujin was just doing volunteer work all over the Underground. She's basically a working single mother here. She had to take up a job that she hates because Chujin claims to have retired from the Steamworks but the family still needs food on the table AND she has to handle all the domestic duties as well because Chujin is out all day doing work for free all over the Underground (btw this likely means that Ceroba had to cover the expenses for the materials for Chujin's projects as well since the money for those things has to come from somewhere and it's not from the person Chujin's making things for). That is taxing, grueling, exhausting work. Sure, you might be able to do it for a day, a week, a couple months, but it's miserable. It wears down on you over time.

And this is where Ceroba's blinding admiration for Chujin plays against her: Chujin is doing heroic things in the Underground so she feels can't take him away from that or talk to him about their family and if the current system they have going on is working for both of them. She feels like she can't tell him because he's basically perfect to her, she can't criticize him. Admiration doesn't stop her from feeling stressed and worn out at the end of the day though, and over time those feelings would start to direct themselves at Chujin. Things weren't like this when he was working at the Steamworks. I wasn't this exhausted. I had to cancel my gym membership to cut back on expenses and I didn't even get to use much of it the months before I dropped it because I had to work and take care of Kanako. Etcetera. There's only so many times Ceroba can tell herself "Chujin is a hero, he's doing good things for the Underground, I shouldn't complain" before that excuse sounds paltry. And the moment that her exhaustion/stress/resentment is at its peak and there's one little shake-up in their relationship? Ka-boom!!!! To everybody on the outside, it seems so sudden (even to Chujin) but if you were paying attention, it was so obvious that it would have happened eventually.

The worst part is that Chujin would've stepped up and helped Ceroba if she asked. He loves her. He cares about her. If she said "I need you to get a job to cover living expenses or stay at home and take care of Kanako because I can't be doing everything here," he would've done so in a heartbeat. He shouldn't have taken advantage of her kindness over and over and over and should've been more attentive to her but he would've helped if he'd known (c'mon man, that's your wife. She shouldn't have to ask for these things because you should be paying attention to her moods and know not to overburden her. Jerk). But he doesn't pay attention to how the things that he does affect the people around him. That's why he killed himself experimenting on his SOUL in the first place.

Cerojin's dynamic was very unhealthy. Had Chujin lived, they would've gotten divorced eventually, I know it in my heart and I will say that until I'm blue in the face. Neither side was truly looking at/paying attention to each other. Neither side was willing to have the difficult conversations that you have to have in order to make a relationship work. Both sides were being awful to each other. Both sides would've been responsible for the divorce happening in their own ways.

[stringsbasement]

what’s clover’s role in your yellowfell au? very wonderful art btw :)

clover doesn't Have a role in my au, they'd be the start of an entirely different story. this au is set in the past, when the Falling of the green/kindness soul is still recent and steamworks are still active. i chose to do this because one of its themes is essentially "the ones that came before, and what they brought into the future." and i want to expand on the lore of uty with my own additions

i've diverged a lot from canon already, so when they reach clover's time, the character interactions would be quite different. starfell, ceroba, and martlet, (maybe even chujin, if i let him live!! :D) would have already met a human and gone through... a lot. but that doesn't mean they won't still have Problems so there's room for expansion on that...

i think vitale/underfell: YELLOW would still maintain it's core themes, but it would have a twist to it, a different conflict entirely. ceroba is amazing and tragic, but her story's already Been Done. there's so much More to think about. the thing i can think of off the top of my head combining both story themes is "the consequence of vengance: the good and bad," or something along those lines

this logic is also why i kept chujin alive, and why i'm even contemplating keeping kanako alive the whole time as well. these characters who we've never met before and only heard of have room for depth, glimpses of which we only get through the Actions they Decided to take. we know the outcome of said actions, but what exactly led up to it? and what happens beyond it? what if things were ever so slightly different? there's more story to tell!!

also thank you so much for the compliment :) heres a doodle!

[illfoandillfie]

Quality Vs Quantity

Rich Fuckboy Ben Series Masterlist

Pairing: Rich Fuckboy!Ben Hardy x Fem!Reader

Summery:  Spending a day in Ben's hotel room has some unforeseen consequences

Warnings: Basically just fluff with some references to sex - nothing happens on page, Specifically references to oral sex (m receiving) and P in V sex, Rich kid dickishness, hints at dom!reader/sub!Ben but nothing major, discussions of urinary tract infections.

Words: 1,166

A/N: The idea for this one came about because I was rewatching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (for those that are unfamiliar it's a tv comedy series that features musical numbers, its great, highly recommend) and in on episode the main character contracts a UTI and the guy she's been sleeping with sings a song about how he's proud to have been soon good at sex that she needs medication. It's funny and stupid but it did make me think of my favourite rich prick and I had to write something lmao.

(How could I not use this image lmao)

Taglist: @labessieisallama@deakyclicks@jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor@i-cant-hangout-im-drumming@queenmylovely@ilovequeenmorethanyou@johndeaconshands@borhapbois@stardust-galaxies@cherries-n-rocknroll@rogersslave @scorpiogemini

When you’d gone out with Ben you’d figured you’d have a good night letting him be all dominant and then you’d be sent home as soon as he was done, with a slap on the arse and probably some comment about being a whore. You hadn’t expected to still be there the next morning let alone for Ben to get so subby so quickly. You definitely hadn’t anticipated that the night with him would turn into nearly a full day in his bed. But you hadn’t been able to pull yourself away and he seemed reluctant to let you leave. So instead, you’d stayed.  

It was only once you were home (and Bianca had stopped grilling you about your new mystery man, since she had no idea you’d seen Ben again), that you were able to actually think about what had happened. There’d been a surprising amount of kissing when you really thought about it. None of it like how it was when he kissed you in the limo – territorial, cornering you so he could claim you or mark you. It was nicer than that. Sweet and soft and a lot of it had happened when he wasn’t inside you which was maybe the most surprising part. Though, really, the whole thing was definitely unexpected. 

There’d been breaks for room service meals and at one point you’d dozed off whilst laying against his chest, a movie playing on the TV and his fingers playing with your hair. But most of the time had been spent fucking. A, frankly, ridiculous amount of fucking. In all sorts of positions and places throughout the suite, some of it rough, some soft and sensual, all of it very satisfying. Honestly, you couldn’t help but be a little impressed by Ben – his prowess and stamina. But unfortunately, there was unforeseen consequences too, even a couple of days post marathon fuck session.  

You hadn’t planned on telling Ben you probably had a UTI. You’d felt the burning sensation and immediately called your gyno to organise an appointment and on your way home you’d made sure to pick up some cranberry pills and juice to hold you over until then. Ben hadn’t even factored into your thoughts at all except to briefly curse him. And then, out of the blue he’d called.   “You free tonight?”  “Y’know, typically conversations start with some kind of greeting.”  “Hi, Y/N. So are you?”  “That depends. What were you planning?”  “Well something like the other day preferably. There’s more I want to do to you.”  You couldn’t imagine what else he could possibly be thinking of but kept that to yourself in order to tease him a bit, “You must really love being my sub if you’re asking me out again already. Don’t think many girls get invited into your bed a second time and little old nobody me gets a third.”  “I just figured since I got you off so much, the least you could do is suck my cock again.”  You laughed, “Well if a blowjob is all you want then maybe I’ll consider it, but I’m not really up to uhh penetration.”  “Why not? My cock too big for you to handle and now you need a week to recover?”  “No, I just think I have a urinary tract infection so sex is off the table until I can get onto some antibiotics.”  “Soooo,” he stretched the word out thoughtfully, “I wasn’t too far off. You’re pussy just couldn’t handle all the incredible sex.”  You sighed, somewhere between exasperated and amused, “It’s not the quality of the sex and it’s not a comment on your size. It’s just that there was like a lot of sex happening and that led to a very natural transferal of bacteria.”  “No don’t ruin this for me. It’s my huge dick and how good a shag I am, you need medication to cope. It’s actually a complement, so thank you.”  You snorted and heard Ben laugh too.  “But I s’pose that’s a good enough excuse, I’ll let you pay me back some other time. I could probably use a quiet night in anyway.”  “A quiet night? What’s that, only going to one club before you’re newest conquest sees the hotel?”  “Usually yeah,” he chuckled, “but actually I was thinking of staying home and watching TV. Maybe some video games, don’t know yet.”  “Really? You don’t have a model you can call as a plan B?”  “Oh, believe me I have them. I guess I just don’t really feel like it tonight.” There was a short pause and then Ben said, “Believe me, no one is as surprised as I am.”  You had to laugh, but also said, “Well, sounds like it’ll be fun.”  “You could still join me.”  “It’s a tempting offer but I probably shouldn’t. A night on your own will do you some good anyway.”   “Sure it’s not cause I’m so irresistible? Worried you’ll catch a glimpse of my halfie and beg to suck on it?”  “More that I don’t trust you not to talk me into it and I’m still trying to train you to behave.”  Ben gave a soft little whimper that he tried to cover with a cough and you smiled, pleased you could still affect him like that.  

But just when you thought he was being a little predictable, Ben decided to throw you for a loop.   “You are okay though right?  “Yeah,” you said, trying not to sound like you were too taken aback, “I’m fine. UTI’s can become serious if ignored but I’m not ignoring it and they’re pretty easy to treat. I’ll just be out of action or a week or two, no biggie. Unfortunately I had agreed to go with Bianca to a cycling class so I’ll probably have to cancel that. She’ll understand though.”  “Well then let me pay for that. I mean, I assume there’s a cancellation fee.”  “There is but you don’t have to do that.”  “Please, Y/N, if there’s one thing I have, it’s money. It’ll be like losing some loose change in the couch. And...I want to help. I did contribute to your situation after all – y'know, big dick, hot lay, we’ve covered that already. I’d be a prick not to help somehow. Is there anything else I can do? Pain relief or, I don’t know, do you need a lift to the appointment? I could send my car for you.”  You were thrown entirely off balance by how genuine and sweet and un-dickish Ben sounded, “Um no I think I’m all good. It’s really kind of you to offer though.”  “Okay, if you’re sure. But if you need something just let me know. And message me with how much the cancellation costs. And...feel better soon.”  “I will, thanks Ben. Umm, talk soon?”  “Yeah, definitely.”  You were still a little in shock when you hung up, and not at all sure how to break it to Bianca that you might have a crush on the Ben Hardy.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw - SA, coercion ?

i was assaulted by a friend of mine a little over a year ago. i was in a really bad place mentally and he knew i had feelings for him, and i knew he didn’t have feelings for me, and so i just assumed nothing would happen beyond flirting. and then he kissed me and then kissing turned into him trying to finger me in his car. his ex-girlfriend called in the middle and he lied and said he was alone, and made plans with her, and said he loved her before hanging up (this whole conversation was held on speaker phone in front of me while i had to be quiet). and he tried to explain, and i wanted to believe him really badly, but it happened a second time that night (ex called on speaker and he lied & said he was alone while in front of me). and i was really sad and embarrassed and all of my friends told me to block him, my mom told me to block him. but he was my friend and my coworker, so i didn’t. and he apologized so i thought maybe things would change.

i was struggling a lot at the time, having just had to make the decision to put down my childhood dog by myself, and there was a night where i wasn’t doing well and was very overwhelmed and called and asked if i could go over. i knew it was a bad idea. i knew i shouldn’t have gone. i knew my friends would kill me if they knew. but i didn’t have anyone else to turn to, and i was so scared of being alone with my thoughts. so i went over. and he took me grocery shopping, and he made dinner (for himself - i didn’t eat), and we started snuggling in his bed and i kissed him. and it was like i flipped a switch because suddenly things started happening really fast. and he was on me, and he was hard, and i just remember thinking i needed to stay still and just let it happen. and i remember bits & pieces, i remember him asking a lot to fuck me and me saying no, multiple times. and he fingered me again. and at one point i laughed because i was nervous and he immediately grabbed me by the throat. i panicked, i saw him over me, and i told him “not there” and he stopped like it was nothing but it really freaked me out. he never apologized for choking me, not then and not when i asked him about it months later. and eventually he realized i wasn’t going to let him fuck me, and he stopped everything really abruptly, and he gave my clothes back and made me leave.

a few days later, he was over at my place. we’d been hanging out all day, and he’d bought me drinks and i asked him to come home with me and he made a big show of having to drive all the way to my place. i vaguely remember just wanting to cuddle or make out. and i changed to pajamas in front of him and he complained “oh, you’re putting ON clothes?” and we were making out and he touched me and i tried to move his hand and say “not tonight” but i guess i didn’t mean it or say it enough because we wound up going further anyways. and he kept asking to fuck me and he said “it’ll probably hurt anyways” because i told him i was nervous about losing my virginity and wanted to wait. i tried to be good, i tried to tell him what i wanted, i tried to go down on him so he’d leave me alone but he wouldn’t let me. and i ended up orgasming from him fingering me again. and i tried to tell him afterwards that i didn’t usually like being fingered, and he said “well, you just came from it, so” and i just felt. really used. and then he started answering texts from his ex, while naked in my bed. and i just. really felt like a body.

i got a UTI and strep from him. he ended up seeing another girl behind my back and Actually dating her, ending things with me. he told our coworkers i was a cheap date and easy to get drunk. i reported him to HR, they removed me from our work location and not him. i still have bad dreams every now and then, and issues trying to be intimate with my new partner.

i guess i just. i don’t know if what happened to me can even really be considered sexual assault? i feel like it’s not bad enough to warrant me calling it that. i feel like i made a big deal out of nothing. but i also still feel so small and sad and angry all the time.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened.

When it comes to discussions about consent, I find it helpful to reference consent as a spectrum: enthusiastic, willing, unwilling, and coerced. They are outlined below as mentioned in the link:

Enthusiastic consent:

When I want you.

When I don’t fear the consequences of saying yes OR saying no.

When saying no means missing out on something I want.

Willing consent:

When I care about you, though I may not desire you (right now).

When I fear or dread the consequences of saying no and I don’t fear the consequences of saying yes. (E.g., “If I say no, it will hurt their feelings, and if I say yes, they’ll be happy and the sex will be just fine.”)

When I expect that desire will begin after I say yes.

Unwilling consent:

When I fear the consequences of saying no more than I fear the consequences of saying yes. (E.g, “If I say no, their feelings will be hurt, and if I say yes they’ll be glad… though the sex will not be something I’m comfortable with, physically and/or emotionally… but I’m used to prioritizing my partner’s comfort and convenience over mine, so…”)

When I feel not just an absence of desire but an absence of desire for desire.

When I hope that by saying yes, you will stop bothering me, or that if I say no you’ll only keep on trying to persuade me—i.e., when I’m exhausted from trying to defend my “no.”

Coerced consent:

When you threaten me with harmful consequences if I say no.

When I feel I’ll be hurt if I say yes, but I’ll be hurt more if I say no

When saying yes means experiencing something I actively dread.

It sounds like a lot of what you described is consistent with both unwilling and coerced consent. Please know that this kind of dynamic can constitute as sexual assault and rape due to penetration, although not all rape involves penetration. That being said, please know that it's up to you how to describe or label your experiences, and you do not have to refer to what happened as SA or rape if you don't want to.

I'm so sorry to hear that your job mishandled the report and removed you instead of him. That's incredibly frustrating and unfair. It makes absolute sense how this experience has affected your current sexual relationships.

Please know that while it is natural to blame yourself, what happened isn't nothing - your boundaries, your voice, and your body was disrespected, and that's serious. It's important to take those violations seriously, but it's also understandable to find difficulty fully acknowledging the emotional gravity of your experiences. Coming to terms with what happened is a process that should be done at a comfortable pace.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[louisejoy86]

You guys....this is going to be a tough week for me. This past weekend was tough for me. My mom is very sick right now. But I have belief enough now to know that miracles and guardian angels exist...

Saturday morning proceeded as normal, but one thing that should've tipped me off something was wrong was that my dad asked me to tell him if mom was okay. I had a gut feeling something was wrong though all day at work...

Then the night came. Dad told me he had a tough time picking mom up as she was walking so slowly and keeling over and all that. We got her to the hospital in time. Got her in the ER. Initial thought was UTI. She was put on antibiotics and Tylenol to bring infection and fever, and it was working at first.

But then today...she turned worse. Blood work was done because her fever was so high. Turned out she had a bacterial infection that spread through her body. It was also believed that she may have had a small stroke because she was walking so awkwardly.

So update as of 4:30 ish is she is going to a larger hospital and getting a MRI up there to see if it's a small stroke or just widespread bacterial infection. They also have her on the strongest possible antibiotic to help her bring her fever down and help her get better. It will most likely be recommended she see her urologist to see why she has recurrent UTI episodes.

Meanwhile, I like to think my grandparents all got together to warn dad and myself something was up with mom and to get her in the hospital. And I think even her doctors and nurses felt guardian angels too. They kept mom in the hospital and worked hard to find out what happened to her.

In closing: please send 🙏🙏🙏 prayers my family's way and hope my mom will eventually recover. I'm sure Elvis Presley and Austin Butler would want you to.

[magnoliamyrrh]

i was sexually abused as a child, it happened in kindergarten and because of the culture of silence and fear that was instilled in 5yo me and not wanting to bother my dad lest he would want to spend even less time with me, i had no brains to protect myself. when the abuse became known to my teacher, they did little to protect me and my mother had to go through hell to change things for me. in my memory the culprit was a classmate of mine, who would also get other boys to watch, but for the longest time i have the blurry memory that there was an adult there, a cook lady also involved in different capacities, laughing, telling him what to do and staying with me afterwards, opening the closet door for him, even holding me touching me, its all so blurry. she also would not let me go piss to the point where i pissed myself and sat in my soils for hours. it has made me disgusted with myself for remembering and for forgetting at the same time, and the fact that my whole family knew for the longest time and dismissed it as something small that i won't even remember and leaving it to my poor mother who had to deal with my wounds and trauma and nightmares and screams and detachment... imagining your 5yo having utis constantly and having to explain the situation to doctors makes me scream and i am still so angry and fearfull. i don't know how people have children

the boy who did it kept reminding me any time i would encounter him later in life, we went to the same school for two years when i was 7-8 and he would leave notes for me. and therapists have encouraged me to forgive and recognise he was also a child dealing with his own trauma and he did have to change groups because of what he did but i the pride he displayed is something i can't forget and it makes me lose faith in people any time my brain recalls it.

huge part of it is how mind-blowingly poor my country was in 2000s. our kindergarten group was 50 people with 2 teachers changing shifts, the cook had to take care of kids. and i feel this was largely preventable and i hate my family for putting me in that situation. and this is the first time im saying it, but i do, i do hate them. worse happened to me in the years after which was also ignored and minimized. i will never feel clean i will never feel normal i ran away so far and cringe at the thought of going back home and facing these buildings, the backdrop of my abuse.

i agree with you, we have so normalised sexualising children in the balkans, to the point where adults don't recognise sexual abuse as such. i grew up wanting to be ugly, wanting to be undesirable, i would fall on purpose so my legs scar, and keep my arms and pits hairy, i hid my face under my hair and cried for days when they forcefully cut it. i was glad when i broke my nose and even when I chipped my tooth because it made my smile all crooked. my mum was not talking to me, and sadly proclaimed it made me ugly. and i know it did, i knew it undercut my value but was that really so bad?my dad had always commented on my looks so much and how fat my ass is and how undesirable i am but from him it felt different. i had to walk that line my whole life and am completely exhausted.

tbh, ive never said it all so firmly and coherently, i am just dropping it here because i know you will understand and pray for me in your own way, the same i do when i experience your writing. i feel like all concrete that we have to walk on in this wretched world is seeing each other. nothing is unknowable and noone is invisible. and only thing that has helped me in my life has been knowing and seeing others, and letting their pain mark my soul in a prayer.

hey anon <3 i published this bc i wanted to give an answer and i think it can b helpful and a little less lonely at times for other ppl to hear other ppls experiences, but pls send me a message and let me know if you want me to delete this and i will

im really sorry for all that u went through. its just horrible and i wish you hadnt and im sorry and i wish i could give you a hug, but thank u for opening up to me. i do very much get it. im glad my rambelings have been of some comfort, thats part of why i keep this blog as a public diary and im rather unfiltered, bc id hope ppl who have been through similar things would find some solace in knowing theyre not. alone w it.... i thought i was alone w a lot of things for a such a long time.. i didnt say anything about anything for such a long time. youre right, you said it well. the world is so often such a cruel and cold, vile deranged nightmare and i think one of the only things that really matters is caring about other people and not letting all the bullshit kill your soul...one of the only things thats kept me sane is knowing other people who fucking get it. i hope finally being able to write it out has been of some help. i will v much keep u in my prayers <3 and feel free to reach out or vent anytime

... and yes the povery is in general a rly big issue in a lot of this and issues related to it i feel. growing up at my kindergarten it wasnt quite as bad, but we had two teachers to watch... 40+ kids at least and things would often get out of hand and yea, with us the cook or other random facility would often have to watch us too. as the years went on the school had less money and it got worse. i remember during naptime there wouldnt b enough teachers to watch us or theyd just fuck off and not care so this group of mean,, particularly girls but some boys would literally step on us and jump on us and say mean shit etc etc. and i remember for so many years going to the bathroom as girls was just a nightmare - wed all go together bc going alone was too dangerous and when we tried some of us ended up w boys trying to barge into the stalls and pulling at our underwear and trying to get their hands in more than once and we got sick of it,, so some girls would always have to stay in the door and try to keep it shut bc boys were so vehement on barging in. gross af, and it was scary, even at that age they were like demons and sex pests, and the teachers that were there far from did a good job at keeping that shit under control.... and im really sorry again. any adult who does that sort of shit is just deranged - the sort who work around kids only to have access to them and feel power. if it makes you feel a lil better, in kindergarten there was this woman who was particularly,,, cold, who just would not let me go to the bathroom during naptime for what seemed like no other reason than her being a cruel controlling bitch - which, having a bad bladder and utis and never being able to fall asleep, and being afraid to go to the bathroom at a normal time bc of the boys, i almost always needed to. and she wouldn't let me and shed insult me and threathen to beat me if i asked, i think one time at least she did actually beat me, so id either spend that time trying not to go which really fucking hurt, or not being able to help it and having to deal w the aftermath. and of course shed get mad at me for that too. gross and frustrating and i really hated her

.... but yea. i think the poverty and things being normalized in the balkans and children being more vulnerable are connected. like to an extent its an education and poverty issue bc not only is it normalized in society but many ppl have no idea what the signs of sa on a kid are, so they dont know what to look out for even if they cared, and they're not educated on ,, basic child psychology. or theyre so overworked they dont have the time, or they emigrate to another country to work and leave their kids with extended family who also dont know.... even the huge trafficking issue we have. so much of that has to do w poverty and desperation and taking advantage of vulnerable poor kids and teens. even the teen pregnancy and high infant mortality rate we have,, lack of education, poverty, and the normalization of adult men sleeping w teenage girls.....most of the women in my family think 12-14 year old girls can consent to adult men its absolutely fucking wack, but i guess considering we had child marriages and bridal kidnappings barely any time ago, thats bound to b the case........ youre right. what you went through and what i went through could have absolutely been preventable if things werent so overcrowded and there was proper supervision and facilities and education around this sort of stuff

....

im sorry the adults near you failed to protect you, and im sorry your family failed to protect you. youre totally right to be angry and pissed off, i get why u blame them and hate them. it was indeed their responsability, and all they did was minimize and diminish your pain... im glad to hear your mother stuck up for you though... it really is painful. so many balkan adults seem to think they can do basically anything they want to children and it wont matter - like theyre some sort of toys or things or property idk - this idea that they're too young or its not that bad is so stupid when infact children are so much more impacted by things than adults are. you deserved better than them. and on the flip side it just. sucks to hear them defend this sort of behavior. i remember id complain abt boys being sex pests but it was always dismissed as Me not being nice to them or some stupid bullshit abt how thats how they show affection or theyre just stupid or theyre just cute or whatever, ive heard it all. it was maddening. in elementary school we had this boy in our class who was particularly bad. i think he must have been watching pornography already. hed make the grossest sexual comments twoards us, hed grope us, etc. i think it took like two bloody years for him to finally be switched out of the classroom, noone rly cared for the longest time and kept making excuses until finally my friends mom had enough .... it really is insane to think of the sheer amount of shit thats been normalized in the balkans. treating your kids like property, beating them, insulting them, sexualizing or groping or molesting them, letting other kids do that to them, letting adult men have relations w teenage girls??? - and if you speak out against any of it, youre in the wrong. seven fucking hells, for gods sake i keep just sitting around wondering what the hell is wrong with us

.. also thats also always a thought that drove me insane. i cant imagine having a child and finding out she went through the things i did. it already freaks me out to b around little kids bc i always just remember what i went through and hope to god theyre ok and safe... i think i would actually lose it and start killing. i have no damn idea how so many others can just b so careless abt a childs pain

and also.. you dont. have to forgive him... i think you have to forgive yourself, you know? even in this message - you didnt have the brains to protect yourself.. girl, you didnt need to have the brains to protect yourself, you didnt fail at protecting yourself and that's why this happened.... its not your fault. you were five for gods sake, dont put that on yourself please <3 ....personally ive never liked when therapists say shit like that. you and i have been molested and yet we havent molested any kids, so whats their fucking excuse, huh? for all the shit ive been through ive never taken it out on anyone like that, so whats theyre excuse? there isnt one.... and especially the shit w reminding you afterwords is just so cruel, its outright sadistic... i know what you mean abt recalling it and losing faith in humanity, its hard not to when youve seen some of its worst and cruelest and sickest sides.... it always makes me lose faith when its in partical kids being.. borderline fucking evil, like this shit, or the increse in boys raping younger girls. this species has an inclination twoards sadism and cruelty, and particularly men and boys seem to. its bone chilling and vile. but. but.... for all of the cruelty and depravity of humankind, there has most certainly been a moving level of empathy, care, and beauty, and i do think... most ppl.. want to be good and strive to b good. i think most people are born good idk

.... but many of us sure as fuck have seen a lot of the bad. i know it only helps so much to hear, because i know the skin crawling disgust that all this breeds. it feels like being fucking cursed or banded or marked or diseased or something, like something is just instrinsically wrong and unclean with you... i never feel like ill be some sort of near normal either. never have been and never will be - but i try to just live with that.. it is what it is. but.. youre no more disgusting, or gross, or dirty or pathetic than i am,.. you know? youre not. those things can only be said abt those who did this to you. im sorry it all turned out like this, but.. idk. im glad that it sounds like you're away from your family. i hope youre safe and in a better place where you can heal from all this. sorry i kinda rambeled on, but im sending you hugs and may some peace and rest from all this come your way soon <3

[relapsdcw]

10.17.2024 , 2:30am

tw:// su!cide, s/h mention, bpd, drug use, medical/ bodily fluids?

it's funny i made this account and then lost all motivation to really blog on it, and now after my boyfriend and i watching shows im high and decided to feel my feelings at a minimum intensity so i can write this lol

the last few days have been a blur, really. i woke up friday morning so stressed out i was brushing my teeth and started gagging, which ended up leading to a panic attack, and i called out of work 30 minutes prior to my start time telling my store manager i "couldn't stop throwing up" when in reality i was so anxious and couldn't stop shaking, so i called in and i couldn't get out of bed for the entire day.

then saturday came, and the stress of me calling out and how bad i felt ended up actually making me sick, and i spent the day with a fever and actually throwing up.

it made me feel good, in a way though? because i've been relapsing with my eating disorder so me being sick was a reason for me to avoid eating all together.

sunday was spent the same way- bed rotting, attempting to play video games- and then losing energy for it after an hour and laying back in bed because being awake is unbearable.

monday came; some important context is that i tend to get violently high on my off days / at night to help my anxiety, i wake up in the morning with it worn off and severe panic attacks every. single. morning. i'm unmedicated and haven't gone to receive medical care in almost 3 years. my BPD looks a lot more like A and less like B. so.. the edibles help.--- anyway, i wake up from nocturnal panic attacks every morning and it's been like that since may of 2023.

it originally started because my fp at the time had started being more emotionally distant after i got a girlfriend (i'll talk abt her in another post), and i slept-called with him every night anyway (yes i understand that is cheating kind of and i feel terrible but i would literally have panic attacks if i didn't call him lol) ANYWAY i noticed he started to get distant and he told me he was sleep calling w another girl at the same time but it felt okay because he said he kept her on his pc while he keeps me on the phone... yeah i was- it was bad erm anyway the only other thing that has really helped in the past has been either not having work the next day, or cuddling with someone while i'm asleep & them rubbing my back / holding me back to sleep whenever i wake up from more anxiety. ANYWYAY. It was monday-- i had work.

i went to work, i spent the entire day thinking i had a bladder infection when in reality i was so anxious i couldn't stop peeing (no seriously, i kept apologising to my team because i kept peeing every 40 minutes or so) and i felt SO TERRIBLE because my team was perfect we should've gotten out early anyway, i had to text my mom and tell her i had to go to the clinic in the morning, and she said okay after a few attempts of me trying to reach her. (her and my dad drove somewhere to buy erm.. idk can i say this in tumblr? lol.) anyway, i got home and my shift ended- i ran into my parents and talked about it with my mom who couldn't understand what a uti was and i just had to explain it hurt to pee.. anyway we planned to go at 9:30 on tuesday

that night also my boyfriend and i got into a fight and i ended up freaking out and trying to break up with him (i genuinely don't remember what the fight was about) (idk if it was a split or a i was hangry but i blacked out with anger) ... my boyfriend is more patient than i could ever ask for.

tuesday comes: my mom moves the time from 930 to 1130. for some reason this triggered my bpd and i started to take it as she doesn't care about me because i need to go to the clinic and she's wasting my time and she keeps moving the time to later because she doesn't want to hang out with me because she has flaked on me the last 4 times i asked to go somewhere with her and in that moment i was a little girl who needed her mom to take her to the doctor and i felt abandoned. she ended up walking into my room and giving me her antibiotics but i said i don't even know if i really had one, i didn't want to risk antibiotic resistance by taking her medication and it freaked me out- she got mad at me and we started arguing and the argument got so bad i just left. i started to run. i couldn't think about what i was doing i grabbed my phone and my wallet and just left.

i was so mad. the nausea started to set in and i started to feel sick leaving home. it felt like i was in high school again and i was scared. i just left. i'm 22 and i felt like a scared little kid. my mom and i arguing back and forth- i finally come home a little bit later after my mom and i talked. i walk in the door with her asking to go to the clinic now but i felt so exhausted from the fight i had no energy. i didn't care if i had a bladder infection or not i felt so tired- and then she kept prying. "let's go already" over and over again and it just snapped something. we started yelling-- i started yelling, i kept telling her how i thought she was just like dad, how manipulative she is and how fucked up it is that she's picking an abuser over her kids and how much i hate it when she gets high and how i cant trust her and how i cant even eat her food because its disgusting, she had known i wasn't eating and sick and i said that, and i saw the look on her face while she started to blame herself- she tried to come in and hug me but in the moment i was so scared i started to crawl away from her and told her i couldn't do this. i walked upstairs sobbing and started throwing stuff around my room, i felt like a toddler. i hated it. but i couldn't stop it felt like my emotions controlled me and i couldn't see anything good. i looked at the antibiotics my mom had given me earlier and googled them.

i could overdose on this.

it was all that was going through my mind i started to fantasise about my last moments i was sobbing dreaming about the pain but how i wouldn't have to live like this anymore; how i could finally rest, how tired i am- i felt scared for a second- and texted my boyfriend. he begged me not to do anything and i finally calmed down enough to sit on my carpet. i sat there for an hour just picking around at it trying to avoid getting up or moving because if i did, i would've reached for the bottle. i ended up getting so mad i smashed my glasses into my floor while sitting in my carpet and snapped them in 4 different pieces. that wasn't getting fixed. the rage still wasn't gone. i needed to hurt myself. my razors were within reach but instead i grabbed my hair brush. and started untangling my carpet. and i kept doing it until i felt like it was clean. if it was clean. i can be calm. if i can be calm, i can be done. and i did that for a few hours until i got up and started to clean my room. i got up and showered. my mom and i didn't talk for the rest of the night and i ended up spending the night watching movies on discord with my bf, but i got super sick so i had my face above my tea kettle boiling water so my nose could drain because erm.. i got really sick from going outside.

anyway.

now today- we'll yesterday was wednesday. my mom and i texted. i said i was sorry. i could pee with no pain until the very very end so i am instead trying to drink more water because i read that pee is actually super acidic and if u don't drink water it's super concentrated and i remember i really.. hadn't had any water the entire weekend/prev 5 days... so i've been drinking water and it doesn't bother me as much today? my dad doesn't want my mom doing my laundry because i "don't deserve it" but idk how he's allowed to live here when he's abused tf out of us our entire lives but go off ig idk ✨parental trauma sry✨ anyway my mom and i planned to go do my laundry today at 10:30am so im writing this and passing out.

i feel better today. i think. i cleaned my room more and ordered food and i was actually able to eat it. i'm kind of very broke now because i bought some stuff on amazon related to kink and wow that's expensive and i splurged more because... spending problems when upset.. lots of credit card debt.. (can get more into that too) but yeah. i ate food, my bf n i watched wizards of waverly place. i love him so much. i really do. argh lemme make an entire post abt him i swear

[tehuti88-heritage]

My Dad, Part 12

(June 25, 2024)

While I was sitting in bed very early in the morning June 25 2023 (I'm a nightowl), before it was time for me to put out a bit more food & say goodnight to the black cat if it showed up, I thought I heard a noise from Dad's room. I'd taken to closing my door when going in my room so the noises I made wouldn't wake him if he managed to fall asleep, he was always getting up & going to bed so constantly. I opened my door & peeked out, reasoning that if he needed me he would whisper something, yet I heard nothing from his room, so went back into mine, shutting the door. Not long after I heard Ma go into his room & start talking, so looked out again. The light was on...Dad was lying half on the bed & half on the floor. His bed--a patched-together conglomeration of mattresses, pillows, cushions, blankets, foam pads, a wooden board--had fallen apart. I'd heard it, but not knowing what it was, went back in my room. -_-

While Dad was pulling himself back into bed following a bathroom trip, apparently the bed had slid apart like a loose sandwich, spilling its guts & him to the floor. Ma was trying to get him up. I felt so awful that I'd heard it but hadn't helped (why hadn't he called me?--even Ma heard him); I managed to climb over the mound of padding & help to get him upright. Ma helped him to the walker & out of the room to sit on the couch, then came back & we both looked at the confusing mess & set to work trying to put the bed back together the best we could.

It...wasn't easy, at all. No matter how we positioned anything there were awful lumps & bumps & how would he sleep on it with his sore back? We got hotter & more frustrated the more time went on though I remember my mother made a really weird comment: "Someday you can tell your kids about this." Weird, because I have never & will never have a relationship or kids.

I can only guess this was a strange attempt at humor in a frustrating situation.

She went out to ask Dad how he was holding up. He said he was doing okay, & it was all right if we didn't get the bed back together just right that night. We figured we'd have to fix it up better in coming days. I myself ended up getting so fed up I quit & went outside, later than planned, to feed the black cat. We got the bed somewhat back in order, Dad returned to bed, everyone went back to sleep. (Well, mostly.)

In the morning, Dad seemed to regain a bit of appetite--on one day he had me cut him up some celery stalks & get him some chocolate milk--though I noticed he ended up spitting out most of the celery after chewing it. He also barely touched a simple sandwich I made him. I started getting frustrated again with his lack of progress eating & drinking, how was he to get better if he didn't try harder?

He seemed to be in a lot of pain. Mostly his back. I thought perhaps the walker, which was made for me, was too short for him & he was slouching over it too much. Whatever the cause, I suspected it was making him too depressed to eat. And just as the previous day, he kept getting up & sitting back down. At night he kept going between the bedroom & the bathroom though he didn't seem to do much in the latter. He couldn't sleep. I finally offered him the Trazodone...as expected, he refused it.

I just can't understand a person who would prefer to put themselves--& their family--through such things, rather than just accept a bit of help. But then again that was how we'd gotten here in the first place. It was just too damn much to tell the doctor he still had that UTI. That he started feeling sick while mowing the lawn in the heat. So many chances to have avoided this, all missed.

Will share more as the days go on.

[bohemianwriter]

You asked him a very straight forward question

: do you want me to go?

: if I go will it be as your girlfriend?

The reason I hung up on him was because he said I didn’t do anything last night…tell that to my UTI today. Just because you didn’t get off doesn’t mean I didn’t “do anything” he got anal and my pussy. I gave him a blow job around 6 PM and I was still kicked out. I can tell when he puts on a fake voice. It’s okay baby just sleep. I know he’s going to do something he has a plan already. And that’s what tonight was too. He had a plan already of some sort of sabotage. Now he could see if I vibe with these girls so he can treat them like her or even worse like me. I feel like with these other girls that this happens to, they aren’t strong enough for these guys. But I am. But I don’t want to be. I wanted to go to work last night. Or tonight.

I read something that said I kept ending up in these seedy situations. And that’s how I felt. A studio apartment with dog hair everywhere. So gross. Like how did I get here? And then kicked out? Like he makes it a place I would even want to be? We don’t have that much time here and I didn’t want to be hungover tomorrow. So at least I’ll be well rested and ready to go.

Besides as soon as he sees that warrant it will be all my fault again otherwise. Even though I didn’t call the cops. He stole my phone and I went to his leasing office to get it back. Then the cops asked what happened and I told them the truth.

[reno-the-himbo-turk]

Small mundate.

So took my cat to the vet for her yearly appointment after I had to reschedule due to weather in my area. Due to things beyond my control I cannot afford to move out in my area rent is overpriced lemme tell ya $1,200 for a 1br place. So I live at home still but pay a portion of my income as rent, loan money to family when shit breaks and chip in on major repairs. So step-dad also has a cat, for the past month she's been peeing in my bed on my sheets a total so far of 3 times. I got upset the last go around because she peed on a handmade blanket from a dead relative so I was upset and demanded he take her to the vet. He threw a bunch of hissy fits for many many reasons blaming it on stress, my bed smelling like other animals, saying that if I gave the cats wet food in my bed then well they wouldn't pee where they ate.... but finally sat there and asked if I could see if they would look his cat over with mine at the same time. I figured Fuck it I already have to be there and gave the vet a call. They agreed and well crap hit the fan. We go today and both cats are stressed but mine calms down after a bit she knows the drill gets her yearly visit and shots. Step-dad spends the whole visit bitching about my cat vomiting everywhere, then tries to blame the whole peeing on my bed as his cat being filled with anxiety he then goes on a rant about how both of our cats have anxiety and blames it on the other house members having dogs. Step-dad's cat gets examined and her lungs sound funny. So they check for UTI since she was peeing on my bed and end up doing chest X-ray for lungs. Turns out it's congestive heart failure and they wanted him to bring her back in to the vet for them to drain the fluid but now he is refusing to do so. As per him "the fact I forced him to take her to the vet made her super stressed so she basically somehow drew all the fluid into her lungs today" and he can't/wont let them drain it because he figures if he takes her there she'll just get really stressed and suck more fluid into her lungs. So he has medicine for her now but I get the feeling it's turned into that this is all my fault because I demanded he take her to the vet because she kept pissing in my bed and now he's demanded she must live a 0 stress life. I am not to touch her, pick her up, yell/scold her, do anything to/for this cat unless she shows up and asks for it. Which let me be clear I never yell at the cats, he yells at them when they do things like try to vomit in his bed, or pee outside of normal pee spots.

[glassrowboat]

NSFW below. Don't like, don't read.

His legs were already tense. Muscles rippling underneath your touch as your fingers slid over the scarred skin. Each little bump and divet was a map that led up to your prize for the night: A cock dripping with pre as Dottore stared down at you.

He had chosen to forgo his mask this time, something you couldn't help but be thankful for as you took in his flustered expression. Normally, he was so composed, always standing tall and acting like all eyes were on him as he strode through Zapolyarny Palace all the way down to the depths of Heresys. Though, that's most likely because there always was; even if it was an action imbued in fear.

Would those same eyes look at him so if they could drink him in like this? Taste the salt of Dottore's sweat and the bitterness of his pre that clung to your tongue?

Licking your lips, you looked up at him again, trying to keep your voice as soothing as possible as you said: “It's important you relax.”

That's what all the research said, anyway.

Dottore had been the one to insist on that, having gone through a few choice books and asking someone about it, too (though he refused to tell you who).

“You think I don't know that?” Even with his attempts to stay composed, there was a slight waver in his voice. Maybe it was hesitation, or Dottore was simply considering backing out of this entirely. It's not like it would be too late to tell you no. You could still drop the toy in your hand, already lubed up, and forget about this. Go back to how things normally were.

But that wasn't possible. Not when the very idea of this haunted your mind far more than any ghost of your past has dared to try. Creeping up on you in the dark as you tossed and turned in your sheets only to be woken up with sticky thighs and an ache that refused to dissipate even when your fingers had brought you to completion.

No, you couldn't forget.

And Dottore couldn't either.

“I already agreed to this.”

So what's the point of backing out now, was what he didn't say.

You shifted closer to him, trying to get comfortable on the thin carpet keeping your knees from kissing hard wood. You only took a second to notice the bottle of lube had been knocked over before you were focusing on Dottore again. A dull thump ringing in your ears.

The metal rod in your hand ran along his tip, the olive skin as enticing as ever (especially after Dottore had come back from his trip in Sumeru almost glowing compared to the way the never ending winters in Snezhnaya leave him) as you stared down his cock in the warped reflection.

“I still can't believe people used pencils for this.”

You heard him groan your name along with a short “don't remind me.”

You shook the multiple reports of all the ways this could go wrong from your head, letting each and last scribbled down note of penile necrosis, fistulae wounds, and perforation be erased. Of course, there was the possibility of UTI's too, but that one seemed like the least troublesome on the list.

Well, at least you were well educated.

“Tell me if you need me to slow down, okay? And I doubt this will be comfortable at first but-” You looked up at him with a smile, trying your best to be as reassuring as you can from one shared look. “We both know you've been through worse.”

Dottore's grip on the bed sheets finally slackened, his knuckles, once an agitated white, were returning to that color that had you wanting to kiss him all over just to see what he'd look like blushing now.

“You and your sense of humor.” Dottore scoffed.

“I think I'm hilarious.”

Your hand pumped him up and down, cutting Dottore off from making another snarky remark. A sigh falling from his chewed up lips.

“Should I do a countdown? You know, one, two, three.”

“You and I both know doctors are trained to go on two to keep the patient from tensing up. It won't do either of us any good, so just…proceed.”

Taking one last glance at Dottore, reveling in the way he kept looking back between you, your hand, and the toy that was hanging from your finger by the little ring attached (to keep it from accidently sliding all the way in) you wrapped your hand around his tip. Agitated, in need of the attention your mouth had so willingly been giving it earlier to wake him up as the glossy sheen of your spit around his base slowly slid down Dottore's balls and curly blue pubic hair.

Pushing his head back, you aligned the metal toy with Dottore's urethra, making sure to keep your hand as steady as possible when you could quite literally feel red eyes on you.

You shifted again on the floor, trying to ignore the mess in your underwear. That could be dealt with later, even if it was gnawing at you to hurry up so you could push Dottore down and ride his face while watching his pretty cock twitch with the sounding rod inside of him.

“Well, then on to two.”

Swallowing down your nerves you pushed the tip past Dottore's urethra.

It had to be only an inch in when Dottore was taking your shoulder, squeezing it softly. You couldn't see his expression, even like this, as you kneeled between his legs. For once, you found yourself cursing those two strands of blue hair you always played with as they hid him away.

“Sorry, should I stop? Should I take it out?” You asked as you slowly started to pull the toy out only for Dottore's hand to come over your own, stopping your actions short.

You could hear the way he swallowed down the wad of spit stuck in his throat.

“No, that's not it. Can you- can you give me more?”

I want to sound Dottore so bad. Like the idea of having his legs spread open as I sit between them and slowly slide the metal rod into his dick as he hisses in pain but his own pride won't allow him to tell me to stop so he's just left trying to handle it all with an aching cock and a need to cum down my throat.

-Piercing anon

*deep breath* I saw this the moment I got it and I've been thinking about it ever since- I'm speechless. Literally speechless. yes

Let me study your mind, respectfully

[haikyuu-boys-headcanons]

𝙷𝙰𝙸𝙺𝚈𝚄𝚄 𝙱𝙾𝚈𝚂 - 𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙴𝚇 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚂

hehe, i’m back at it again with one of these long ass posts but this idea’s literally been in my head all day long so here you go !! obvious nsfw warning :)

tw: this whole post is just nsfw and embarrassing to read so read at your own risk >:)

𝙳𝙰𝙸𝙲𝙷𝙸 » during a super intense and loud session, his voice cracked as he asked you “does that feel goOD- good baby?” to this day, he still prays that you couldn’t hear him over the sound of your own moans

𝚂𝚄𝙶𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙰 » you were riding him and he went to slap your ass, but something went wrong either because you were riding too quickly or he was shaking too much, boy ended up slapping himself in the balls. you’ve never heard that boy scream that loud in your life

𝙰𝚂𝙰𝙷𝙸 » literally pulled out in the middle of sex to get up and rush to the corner of his room to flip around his childhood teddy bears. your just laying there with your tiddies and coochie out waiting for asahi to shield the eyes of mr. wiggles

𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙺𝙰 » you two were having pretty intense shower sex until tanaka did the number one thing your not supposed to do during shower sex; this muthafucker slipped while holding you. long story short, y’all were okay but just ended up having nasty shower floor sex??

𝙽𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙾𝚈𝙰 » this tiny ass 5′2 man was unconsciously humping your leg while you were both asleep?? his presumably pleasurable wet dream had turned into a sudden nightmare when you literally had to KICK him off you to stop the humping. bad nishinoya, bad!

𝙺𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰 » came WAYYY too early inside you, but he was too embarrassed to say anything so he just... kept going. sadly, no one had warned kageyama of the intense effects of overstimulation. he was shaking and whimpering so badly behind you to the point where you had to ask him to pull out and bring him a glass of water to calm down

𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙰 » the first time you squirted on him, he just blatantly asked you these exact few words that left you feeling mortified: “did you just piss on me?” nuh uh hinata, this water fountain ain’t yours to drown in anymore >:( 

𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙺𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » kei was hitting it from the back pretty hard this time, so hard that you were suddenly... on an angle? suddenly, now you two were much closer to the floor than before. the bed ended up collapsing, yes literally collapsing due to kei’s powerful thrusts. worst part is, nobody got to finish since kei dragged you to ikea to grumpily buy a new bedframe. but hey, he bought you ikea meatballs; that shit hits so different

𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙶𝚄𝙲𝙷𝙸 » one super duper intense night, he passed out the SECOND he came. no matter how much you flicked the temple of his forehead, yamaguchi was dead asleep. you had to literally slap him awake to get him to clean up, you ain’t risking a ranky stanky UTI puthy in the morning

𝙾𝙸𝙺𝙰𝚆𝙰 » kept calling himself a sex machine during the act. i don’t know if it was due to the 6 tequila shots he had beforehand or just his inner ego revealing, whatever it was it was about to make your pussy close

𝙸𝚆𝙰𝚉𝚄𝙼𝙸 » this one time, he kept going in at a weird angle which caused you to repeatedly queef for 7 minutes straight. every time you told him to pull out and go in properly, he laughed and kept going in at that one weird angle!! was your embarrassment a turn on for him?? maybe!! but were you mortified? absolutely!!

𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙽 » i’m sorry to have to be the one to announce this, but this man had the worst case of full blown bush you’ve ever seen. like, he didn’t even try to manscape or anything at all. you ended up begging him to trim just a tiny bit because you weren’t gonna risk choking on a pube whilst your going down on him

𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙸 » rubbed your left labia thinking it was your clit. and he kept doing that. the whole. fucking. time. even when you subtly moved his fingers towards your clit, he just kept going back to the left lip.

𝙺𝚄𝙽𝙸𝙼𝙸 » had the most dry and dull dirty talk you’ve ever heard. like, it’s not even dirty talk at this point; it’s just clean talk. there’s no passion when he talks! he uses the same tone he would use for anyone else at any other moment. to paint the picture, imagine riding kunimi and he’s just there with a furrowed expression like “yup, that feels really good”

𝙺𝚈𝙾𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙸 » tried to pull one of those unexpected anal scenes that he saw from a porno, without telling you beforehand. life lesson here; if you party at shit's house, don't be surprised if shit's at the party

𝙺𝚄𝚁��𝙾 » you two were looking to get a little more kinky in terms of BDSM, so kuroo watched like 30 tutorials on youtube on how to safely tie you up so you won’t fall or anything. this bitch ended up tying rope knots that were practically impossible to undo, which resulted in you hanging from the ceiling for approximately 2 hours pussy-ass naked while kuroo tried to cut you down with a kitchen knife

𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙼𝙰 » wanted to spice things up with some dirty talk, like the real nasty talk they use in pornos but not the normal pornos; the shitty company ones with horrific acting. he really ended up announcing that he was going to “fuck your fucking fanny off, you twat”

𝙻𝙴𝚅 » got super excited while he was opening the lube since he hadn’t gotten to fuck you in a WHILE, which resulted the lube leaked everywhere and a giant 6′5 man slipping and hitting his head on the bed frame. worst part is; he had to go to the ER with a hard on that refused to go away

𝙱𝙾𝙺𝚄𝚃𝙾 » speaking of boners that wouldn’t go away, let’s not forget that one time bokuto took two viagras when you texted him to come over for a special occasion. he horribly misinterpreted the ‘special occasion’ text, because he showed up to your house with a huge buldge in his pants as your parents stand before him holding anniversary cards, completely horrified

𝙰𝙺𝙰𝙰𝚂𝙷𝙸 » wanted to make valentines day sex as romantic as he could, so he did the classic lighting candles and giving roses. everything was beautiful, until he accidently knocked one of the bigger candles over during missionary. this not only caused a huge ass fire in your bedroom, but he came right as the fire began to spread. boy was debating on whether his orgasm was to die for or not

𝙺𝙾𝙽𝙾𝙷𝙰 » had a nose bleed when he was going down on you and you both were immediately horrified, you thinking it was your period and him thinking he just ate coochie blood. yet as you went to go clean up, you realized his face had much more blood on it than your coochie did. to this day, he still blames it on your period 

𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙹𝙸𝙼𝙰 » threw you onto the bed and your head went through the wall. he didn’t even bother to ask you if you were okay, he just sighed and went “well, now i have to make a call to the construction guy. excuse me” and he left you and your concussed ass head sit there once again, pussy ass naked

𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙾𝚄 » during a blowjob, he held your head down right as he was coming causing the cum to shoot up your throat and somehow pour out of your nose. by the time he pulled out, he could barely breath from laughing at you. sure, the classic ‘milk shooting out of nose’ thing was funny at first until you got a sinus infection and had to breath out of your mouth for the next three days

𝚂𝙴𝙼𝙸 » always insists having sex in the most inconvenient places?? like he would pull you to side while grocery shopping and start grinding up against you as you pick which brand of cheese would be better??

𝙶𝙾𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙺𝙸 » he kept getting frustrated that his bangs were clouding his field of vision, so he irritably grabbed a hair tie and frantically tied up the sides of his bangs while he was fucking you. you immediately burst out laughing since he looked exactly like boo from monsters inc. 

𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » got so drunk that he ended up fucking the couch. like he was just there on top of you, and his dick was just sliding between the folds of the leather couch. you decided to let him finish like that

𝚂𝙰𝙺𝚄𝚂𝙰 » had a really bad reaction to one of the products he used while shaving and ended up getting super irritated down there so he kept having to pull out in-between thrusts to itch his crotch. to make things worse, you joking suggested that he looked like he had syphilis and he got so disgusted at the idea of that thought that he literally had to pull out and take a breather 

𝙾𝚂𝙰𝙼𝚄 » drizzled ‘warm’ chocolate down your chest and was about to seductively lick it off until you screamed in pain and horror as the chocolate was literally burning your skin off. osamu panicked, obviously not knowing what to do if chocolate was burning his partners skin off so he just... frantically licked it off. you still had to go to the ER afterwards to get treated for mild burns

𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚄𝙼𝚄 » didn’t know what a hymen was until the first time he tried to have sex with you. no matter how much he tried to shove his schlong in, it really just wasn’t working + “yer puss is broken”

𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙰 » pinched your nipples so fucking hard to the point where you started crying. he thoughts these were tears of pleasure until you literally had to kick him off you. but hey, he gave you ice for your sore nipples and mcdonalds! what more could a girl possibly want :)

uh the end lol

also, this idea was inspired by the first haikyuu headcanon i ever read, “awkward sex moments” by @bbytetsu <3

[pastafossa]

dearest pasta,

my friends and I were discussing trt bc one of them just started reading it (we’re big fans, love your work) and she was wondering about the little tapping rhythm that Matt and Jane do. she was expecting it to mean something in Morse code, but some research did not yield any obvious results (either SEI or STI, depending on if the one tap in the middle is long or short). I did a little more digging and made a chart of any letters that obviously fit the pattern through Morse code and ways that they could be put together. as someone who has read the entire story multiple times and is completely caught up, I’m not seeing any obvious significances, unless the Roman numbers VI (6) or VM (6000) mean anything, or you’re trying to tell us that someone has a sexually transmitted infection (STI) or a urinary tract infection (UTI). anyways, my question is: is there any deeper significance to the tapping rhythm that either hasn’t been revealed yet or that I missed? or is it just a random pattern?

I FUCKING LOVE THAT YOU WENT THROUGH THIS EFFORT HOLY SHIT! And I am just as happy to say it DOES have meaning (that fortunately isn't UTI related), and is also a very fitting pattern for Matt! In fairness, when I first added the pattern in my outline notes waaaaay way back, it was just a random one I came up with because I just knew I needed them to have a code they used with one another, although I hadn't decided what it meant yet. It was only after I did a little digging after using it for a few chapters that I found something amazing.

Third John, Chapter One, Verse Two (NABRE translation often used by the Catholic church based on my research):

"Beloved, I hope you are prospering in every respect and are in good health, just as your soul is prospering."

3. 1. 2.

In other words, Matt (who I'll confirm was the one who chose the pattern) was calling Jane beloved in his own way fairly early on, even if he didn't spend a ton of time letting himself think about it (he'd heard the verse from Lantom and the numbers stuck in his mind and he thought it was a fitting, 'are you ok?' verse and, he told himself, 'beloved' was just a coincidence), and she was unintentionally calling him beloved back (gives a whole new meaning to the kidnapping arc when she kept tapping out their signal), so the two of them were calling each other beloved every time they checked in with each other via their pattern.

He hasn't told her yet what it means. But one day... one day he will. Until then, he lets himself hear beloved, hear encouragement, hear her hopes and dreams for him every time he hears that pattern.

[will-on-the-internet]

Waiting Up | Spencer Reid Blurb

Summary: Spencer hates when you wait up for him, until suddenly, he doesn't.

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 531 words.

A/N: If this fic feels familiar to you, it's because I've had to repost it, since I can't find the original anywhere on my blog!

Requests are open!

Masterlist can be found in Navigation Page!

PLEASE INTERACT FOR MORE SPENCER FICS!

Spencer wouldn’t often call you during the middle of the night, he’d want you to sleep, to have a night of peace and calm even if he’s out in the middle of nowhere hunting killers and saving people. He knew a month into your relationship that he never wanted to be that man who expects the other to wait up for them, expecting them to pick up the phone when you’re already in bed or answer the door when you should be asleep. And he knew, he knew from the moment he’d found you asleep on the couch while you tried to stay up until he got home from a weeklong case in Chicago, that he never wanted to be a man you lost sleep over.

But you, you wanted to wait up for him when you could, to pull him into your arms when he got back from a case, make him dinner, and sit with him while he tried to rid his mind of all of the recent horrific details, and most of all, you wanted to be awake when he came home, taking him to bed and tucking him under the covers before falling asleep tangled against his body. Those were your favourite nights, even if the both of you were exhausted and he needed a shower from flying and you had work early the next day. And even though Spencer kept telling you to go to bed, to sleep and that he would see you in the morning, you would never stop sitting on that couch and watching the front door, wishing for your fiancé to come home that little bit sooner.

And then suddenly, even after all his worries about your lack of sleep, seeing you on that couch became Spencer’s favourite thing, your body under a pile of soft blankets and the television still on but turned down low. For him, it was this constant reminder that there was someone waiting for him when he got back home, that he wouldn’t be coming home to an empty house or an empty bed, a feeling that used to fill the young doctor with dread. Now, as he gently wakes you up and you tug each other to bed, pull the covers over your bodies and rest against each other, Spencer is eternally grateful for every late night. He doesn’t care that he might have to leave again the next day, or that you’ll only be in his arms for a couple hours and this peace will never last long enough, he just fills that moment of gratitude with soft kisses and sweet smiles that you’re very keen to return.

As you’re drifting off to sleep and Spencer is holding you to him, he whispers out the line that you hear every night you wait up for him, but it never fails to make your heart burst.

“I love you, Y/N, thank you for staying.” Sleepy kisses and your fingers drawing patterns on his skin as he looks down at you with big, wide and love-filled eyes, he can’t help but grin and relax into your touch as you say, “I love you too, Spencer Reid.”

PLEASE INTERACT FOR MORE SPENCER FICS

Tagging: @spookydrreid @singularityjc @mggsprettygirl @spencersmagic @random-human-person @reidsconverse @thank-the-lord @tobias-hankel @madswonders @makaylajadewrites @rigatonireid @altsvu @wasteland-bvby @cacoetheswriting @b-a-utiful @mikewizkalifa @reidingmelodies @spenxerslut @averyhotchner @reidology @bvttercupbby @reidgifs @peachpitfics @lizzaarooni @lady-loves-a-lot @laurakirsten0502 @lumosemily @spencersawkward @spacedikut @laurnrnlds @moderatelydelusional @spencerreid9 @april-14-blog @flipperpenguins @reidyoulikeabook @luvofyourlifeliv @writingtree @randomwriter1021 SEND ME AN ASK TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST!

[herofics]

Todoroki, bakugo and Tamaki (separately) with an s/o who is hit by a age quirk but she’s turn into a sick 6 year old girl with urinary infection (I had it when I was 6 and I had so much fever that a barely remember anythin, in the end of it I had to take shots in my butt per one week each shot per day, I took so many pills and I had 4 bags of serum in one night, but I’m healthy today, I’m 17 and I just randomly thought about it) and she turns back into herself in one week.

im really sorry if it’s a strange request, you can change the sickness if you want and english isn’t my maternal language so I’m sorry if there’s anything wrong

have a nice day ☺️

I changed the illness cause I didn't feel comfortable with the whole UTI thing. So I just did bad fever with the whole kid thing

~Tamaki Amajiki~

•Tamaki was pretty anxious about the whole thing, but since you were sick, there wasn’t much he could do for you

•He just kept you company at the nurse’s office and for most of the time, he just held your hand and listened to you talk, mostly in your sleep or in a half asleep state

•When you got better, there was still some of the week left, so you got to tour around the campus a little bit

•You also met Eri, and she was friends with the child you as well

•The two of you held hands and ate apples together, just hanging out with Tamaki and Mirio

•Since you don’t remember anything from before you were six, and don’t remember who Tamaki is, he’s just acting like a big brother to you for the time being

•It’s kinda the same as Eri and Mirio

•When you turn back to your normal self, you tell Tamaki you’re thankful to him for taking care of you and keeping you company

•It was a bit weird being a kid, and especially one who’s that ill, but Tamaki helped a lot

~Todoroki Shouto~

•You got turned into a kid, a very sick kid with a bad fever

•You only remember things from when you were 6 years old and before that, so you have no idea who Todoroki is, but he still makes you feel safe

•You spend a lot of time at the nurse’s office, because you have a high fever and you need to be monitored

•He comes to check on you everyday before and after school and just pretty much talks while you sleep

•He also brings you snacks and stuff like that, because you don’t feel like eating much of anything because you’re sick, and Recovery Girl just wants you to eat something

•At the end of the week you’re recovered and a while after that you turn back to your normal self

•You remember most of the week, but the fever also caused some holes in your memory, but you remember Todoroki talking to you, keeping you company and taking care of you as much as he can

~Bakugou Katsuki~

•Bakugou is not really used to dealing with kids that young, and he has a short fuse to begin with, so he might not handle the situation the best

•He does come to visit you often and he brings you something to eat, since you’re refusing to eat actual food

•You do eat the the few granola bars he brought you, probably because they’re mostly chocolate

•He also brings you a couple of juice boxes so you get enough fluids

•You won’t really talk to anyone but him, because everyone else feels like a stranger to you and you’re a bit scared

•He isn’t used to the fact that when he yells you get scared and start crying, and he isn’t very quick to apologize either

•He does try to calm you down but I feel like he might just end up making things worse

•When you turn back to normal, you tell him that he shouldn’t yell at little kids, even if it was you