#and i just repeat things back that my mom says idk it’s our thing

[fakeoutbf]

.

[gureumz]

project aphrodite

rating: explicit

member: jungwon

premise: in a post-apocalyptic world, you and jungwon are excellent scientists and are at the relative top of the list of people who are ideal parents for the next generation of this dying world. it's now your job to repopulate this earth so you ask your co-worker to pretty please knock you up.

notes: sci-fi elements, dystopian au, scientist!reader, scientist!jungwon, fem-bodied reader, reader is referred to as a woman, dom!jungwon, breeding, impreg kink (like heavily), dirty talk, platonic (?) breeding, co-workers with benefits (?), idk this is kinda speculative fiction but also suspend your disbelief a bit lol

a/n: first of my 1k follower special! not quite sure what order i'm following here but i hope you stay for the ride nonetheless! enjoy!

it's a strange feeling.

in your line of work, 'strange' is hardly any cause for concern. as a biologist with a concentration in genetics, you've seen all the ways nature does its job. from the familiar concepts almost all people learn about in science class like the basic 'mom-meets-dad-equals-baby' to the eerie methods organisms in the deep sea evolve to survive.

you've learned about it all, pored over each punnett square, stressed over the formulas. so, this shouldn't be anything to worry about.

and yet, you're still worried.

"i mean...what did we expect?" jay speaks up from beside you, eyeing the phone in his hand.

"we're presently some of the world's most brilliant minds so...," he adds, locking his phone before hunching over his desk. to your ears, it sounds as if he's trying to convince himself rather than you.

you scan over the document flashed on your own laptop screen. the harsh fluorescent lights overhead buzz nonstop, going on and on, a background hum all of you in the bunker have grown used to. at this moment, it lulls you into a daydream, vision swimming as you repeat the words in your head.

all government personnel with a status level 7 and higher are recommended to partake in project aphrodite. those falling under level 10 are strictly required. participation at this level is compulsory.

common citizens with a status of 9 to 10 are also required to participate. ample compensation for those successful will be provided.

"you're a level 8. it's not as if you have to," you mutter, fingers digging into your temples.

jay snickers. "how many level 10 government personnel are there in this ruined world? a few hundred or so doctors, another few hundred scientists, even fewer world leaders. that's not taking into account the difference in sex. my information's not up to date but last time i checked, there is a hell of a lot more men than there are women. it's a shitshow waiting to happen."

you turn to meet jay's eyes, not meaning to convey any certain emotion, but the way jay's expression falls leads you to believe that you look way more upset than you're letting on.

"oh shit, yeah," jay curses. "you're a level 10. i forgot."

you sigh, tilting your head back against the headrest of your seat.

"i'm sure they'll release more regulation soon," you begin. "this is just the initial memo. with our world hanging in the balance as it is, no one's gonna let this devolve into some patriarchal anarchy, i hope."

"yeah, of course," you hear jay agree. "most of the proponents of project aphrodite are women, anyway, so i'm sure they'll take extra measures to keep you safe."

you sit up straight, looking at jay once more. "this is the world, huh?"

you and jay pause before sharing a quick chuckle.

"'go make babies, or else,'" you say in a mock radio announcer voice. jay lets out a laugh, his voice echoing off the empty office walls.

the two of you fall into silence, as if retreating to your respective thoughts. all that's in your mind at this moment is your current project, the very thing the few people more powerful than you had assigned for you to do: leading your team in stopping that godforsaken virus ravaging the outside. you've been making steady progress so far, but with the weight of this new responsibility, you're not sure if you could keep the momentum up.

you realize with a passing thought that most of the scientists on your team are level 9s and 10s.

"well," you begin before you could stop yourself. you're suddenly overcome with a feeling of suffocation, the office space seemingly too small and continuously growing even smaller.

"i hope you find someone you'd like to procreate with," you say lightly, pushing yourself off your chair. you quickly gather your things: folders and binders and other loose papers in your arms.

you catch jay looking at you, a pensive look on his face. you stop as you're grabbing your reusable coffee jug.

"no," you deadpan. "not me."

jay's eyes widen, as if realizing he'd said something without really saying anything.

"i—no, wait—i mean...," jay stutters, ears quickly turning red.

you smile, patting jay's shoulder reassuringly. "in case you were thinking about it."

jay's mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water and you can't help but laugh.

"these are desperate times, but i'm hoping it's not too desperate," you add. without waiting for a response, you turn towards the door, already making your way to it.

"besides, dr. isa lee seems more your type," you say over your shoulder one last time before pushing the door open and stepping out into the hallway.

---

"hey."

you look up from the microscope, tearing your attention away from the specimen you were examining. your eyes readjust to their normal focal length as a tall figure enters the lab, perfectly crisp white coat hanging off his broad shoulders, thin-wired spectacles resting on the bridge of his tall, straight nose. your lips feel strangely parched as he makes direct eye contact with you and you're left with no choice but to moisten them with your tongue.

"oh hi, dr. yang."

the other scientist chuckles, setting down a stack of papers on a desk in the corner. "i've been here for three weeks. please, call me jungwon."

you swallow. "right. jungwon."

dr. jungwon yang was a new import from the seoul bunker, having come to your own area's bunker merely a few weeks prior. he was immediately put under your supervision, an addition to your already elite team of biologists, geneticists, and virologists. off the bat, you could tell he was a man of many talents, coming up with unconventional solutions and arriving at answers quicker than anyone else.

his presence in your lab made your heart swell. in pride, adoration, or desire, you're not quite sure.

"uh, yesterday's results are in that binder over there, in case you want to go over them," you begin. jungwon walks over to your side of the long table, peering over the slide loaded into the microscope.

ignoring the way he brushes ever so slightly against you, you continue. "the director's dropping by later this afternoon, but i wouldn't be too bothered with that. he's just looking for someone to blame for the slow progress at this point. if only they could get us those materials we asked for..."

"have you read the memo?" jungwon asks abruptly, straightening up. he towers over you, his eyes downcast as he stares at your face.

"of course, you've read the memo," jungwon corrects himself, chuckling. "what i meant was...what do you think of it?"

"it's a government-issued memo, it hardly matters what i think," you respond, focusing back on your work in front of you, although all you do is stare blankly at the moving microorganisms, mind unfocused with how much of jungwon's perfume you can smell.

"it's your reproductive health that's on the line. i'm pretty sure your opinion counts for something," jungwon says with a pinch in between his eyebrows.

oh, a feminist. that's even hotter.

"okay, yeah. i appreciate the new guidelines they put out," you admit, looking back up at jungwon. "though it's the bare minimum, i'm glad they're letting us keep the autonomy of choosing who to...boink."

jungwon laughs at that.

"and free fertility drugs for anyone who wants or needs it. oh, also, thank god they didn't have the brilliant idea of putting a time limit on it. having read some crazy speculative fiction myself, the things people are willing to do in fiction are crazy. who's to say they can't do the same in real life?" you continue.

you don't notice the way jungwon's smirk grows as he listens.

"kind of makes the whole thing unsexy, don't you think?" jungwon cuts in, raising an eyebrow. you blink, unsure of what he's talking about.

"i'm surprised they're not monitoring us with cameras and hooking us up to EKGs and shit," he adds.

"oh," you say with a soft giggle, finally catching on. "i'm sure some people are into being watched."

"are you?" jungwon asks.

"am i what?" you answer.

"into being watched."

a pause.

you shake your head. "how about you?"

"oh no," jungwon says. "i prefer to keep what's mine for my eyes only."

"hm. possessive. that's kind of sexy," you mumble under your breath, a sudden surge of confidence coursing through you.

jungwon just stares at you, but you can see his pupils dance in amusement, taking in your whole face and all your features. you might have imagined it but he seemed to have peeked down at your chest for a second.

"do you think it's attractive for someone to be into lego-building? or at least, used to be into it. i'd give an arm and a leg for a complete lego set nowadays," jungwon asks, leaning against the table, and only now do you notice the veins running over the back of his hands.

you think about whether his arms are just as veiny.

"do you think it's a good trait to pass on an offspring? lego-building, i mean," he presses on.

"uh, yeah. good problem-solving skills," you answer, humoring his question.

jungwon nods. "do you think leadership skills are important?"

you smile, leaning against the cabinet opposite jungwon. you nudge his foot lightly. "i lead a team of scientists myself. of course, i think leadership skills are important."

"you and i both," jungwon agrees.

jungwon shifts, placing his hands in the pockets of his lab coat.

"how about dimples? do you think dimples are cute?" jungwon asks once more, one corner of his mouth upturned. a deep crease on his cheek appears.

a dimple.

"very," you admit.

"i see."

there's a silence that stretches over the two of you, and the weight of uncertainty is daunting as you stare at a spot on jungwon's tie. finally, after a few seconds, you heave a sigh, unable to take the tension any longer.

"this is the weirdest way anyone has ever flirted with me," you declare, looking up at jungwon through your lashes. he's grinning and you nearly shiver at how utterly attractive you're finding him at this moment.

"but it's effective," jungwon says. that was a statement, not a question.

you tilt your head to the side. "how do you know?"

"because you would have blown me off two minutes ago if it wasn't," jungwon reasons, crossing his arms. by doing this, he just made himself appear even wider than he is.

"always so calculated," you say, impressed.

you stretch your neck, easing your head from side to side, watching as jungwon fixes his gaze on the taut tendons of your neck. "are you also this precise in bed, dr. yang?"

jungwon approaches, a large hand resting on your hip. "that's for you to find out."

your breath hitches as you feel his thumb rub through the fabric of your skirt.

"later?" he asks.

"my place or yours?" you reply, fingertips grazing the front of his polo. you can just about feel the slope and ridges of his toned muscles.

"i'd like to be a gentleman, so mine," jungwon offers. "i'll walk you back to your room after."

"i was kind of hoping i wouldn't need to walk back after," you say, a hint of teasing in your voice.

"is that a challenge?" jungwon says, his other hand pressing firmly on your lower back. he pulls you to him and your hands involuntarily reach out towards his shoulders to steady yourself.

a few seconds pass before any of you speak again.

"that's for you to find out," you say.

---

"kind of weird, isn't it?" jungwon asks, panting against your neck.

your back is pressed firmly against one wall of his sleeping quarters, a wide, loft-like room, similar to yours. a luxury offered only to level 10 government personnel, the room gives its occupants enough space and enough privacy.

and boy, did you need privacy.

"what's weird?" you say breathily, fingers threading through jungwon's hair as he kisses down the column of your neck. his fingers nimbly undo the buttons of your blouse and you whimper when you feel him lick at the valley between your breasts.

"coming up to coworkers or friends then asking them to reproduce with you," jungwon responds, tugging your blouse off of your shoulders.

(you both held enough respect for the institution that employed you both, so your work lab coats were neatly thrown over the back of jungwon's couch before anything got too frisky.)

"see, it's the way you say it that makes it weird," you giggle. you pull jungwon back up to your face, kissing him fervently, tongue licking into his mouth.

"oh yeah? how would you say it?" jungwon challenges as he pulls away slightly, his nose grazing your cheek. he licks a stripe on the underside of your jaw.

"please, jungwon," you whimper, playing up the whine in your voice just a little bit. "need you to knock me up. make me pregnant, please."

jungwon grunts in your ear, reaching behind you to rip the zipper of your skirt down. you let the fabric fall to the floor, stepping out of it quickly, revealing the matching red lace panties you had in tandem with your bra.

"yeah? want me to cum inside you so many times that there won't even be the tiniest chance that you're not pregnant?" jungwon says lowly, kneading one of your boobs in his hands.

you nod, hooking a leg around jungwon's hip, pushing your core right up against the bulge in his pants.

"yes," you breathe out, dragging your clothed pussy over his straining cock. "let's be good citizens and have a whole bunch of kids, yeah?"

jungwon chuckles, hands hurriedly working on his belt. you take this time to kiss up his neck, still rutting against him, desperate for any contact.

"come here," jungwon says through gritted teeth as his pants and boxers fall to the floor. he kicks them off unceremoniously, yanking you towards the couch. your eyes briefly catch the flash of white that were your lab coats.

the two of you fall onto the cushiony surface, with jungwon sitting up and you falling a little less gracefully on him. the two of you laugh as you adjust yourself, righting your posture so you could look at jungwon.

"take this off," jungwon commands, pulling at your panties. you swing off jungwon for a moment, pulling off the garment in record time. you reposition yourself over jungwon, his cock standing tall, hard, and painfully red.

"come on, show me how bad you want those kids," jungwon teases, tucking your hair behind your ear.

you roll your eyes. "you gotta help with the diapers."

a second later, you sink down on jungwon, moaning wantonly at how much he stretches you out, filling you up effortlessly. jungwon throws his head back, his bottom lip pinched between his teeth.

"i'll quit my fucking job at the lab if this is how good it feels to make babies with you," jungwon groans, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips.

you whimper at his words, rocking back and forth on his lap. you angle your hips a certain way, the tip of his cock kissing at just the perfect spot inside you. you shudder, repeating your movement.

"god, you feel amazing," jungwon praises. "so warm, so tight."

"yeah," you respond. you're gliding up and down his cock, swiveling your hips as fast as you can. you clench down around him, the thought of jungwon cumming inside you your only motivation.

"filling me up so good," you add, watching as jungwon screws his eyes shut, neck shiny with sweat.

you move forward, attaching your lips just below jungwon's ear. you suckle on the salty skin, running your tongue over the spot, savoring the way jungwon lets a moan rip out of him.

"gotta let the whole bunker know this one's mine," you whisper as you let up on jungwon's neck. a faint red spot is left in the wake of your lips on his skin.

in a blink of an eye, your whole world tumbles upside down, jungwon's hands forcing you down on the couch by your waist. in a daze, you realize that jungwon has you pinned under him, his eyes wild with a hungry look in them. he pushes your legs right up against your chest, lining himself up with your entrance.

"the moment you start showing, no one in this goddamn bunker will have a single doubt who gave you that baby," jungwon counters, thrusting into you. he gives you no time to adjust, picking up where you left off.

you cry out, trying to anchor yourself on anything your hands can find. eventually, you find purchase in jungwon's shoulders. he feels your nails digging in, and he mutters a soft 'fuck', speeding up his movements, the wet sounds of his skin slapping against yours so incredibly obscene in the confined space of his room.

"give it to me, please," you say, meeting jungwon's eyes as he continues to fuck into you. his forehead is creased, a look of concentration washing over his face.

"cum inside, fill me up as many times as you want, fuck it deep in me," you continue, cradling jungwon's face in your hands, the tender gesture a contrast to how rough he's bein.

"god," jungwon groans, voice breaking at the end as he speeds up, but then he halts abruptly, his mouth hanging open in a silent moan. you feel him twitch inside you and you gasp, clenching down as hard as you can.

"fuck, yes, milk it all out," jungwon says. he starts to thrust up into you again, watching as his cock is slowly coated with his cum spreading all over your cushy walls.

you whine, your fingers finding their way down to your cunt, your middle and ring finger pressing onto your clit. you rub at it ferociously, the idea of jungwon's sticky release inside of you turning you on impossibly.

"i'm getting hard again, jesus christ," jungwon complains but his movements don't cease. he's shaking from the overstimulation but he wraps his arms around you, pulling your limp form up against him.

"rub that pretty pussy for me, babe," jungwon requests, thrusting up into you shallowly.

"make yourself cum while i fill you up for a second time."

---

"so?"

you jump a little at the sudden intrusion. you look up at jungwon through both of your reflections in your bathroom mirror. three pregnancy tests lie in a neat line on the edge of the sink.

"i just started the timer, jungwon," you reply with a laugh. jungwon turns you around to face him, kissing you briefly.

"hm," you say, looking up at jungwon questioningly. "you never kiss me unless you want something."

"well," jungwon begins, hands slipping under your sweater. "we can always kill time while we wait for the results."

you shake your head, but you're already pressing yourself up against jungwon. "you're insatiable, dr. yang."

jungwon winks at you, undoing your bra under your shirt. "you know it."

"plus, you just look too good in this damn lab coat."

[ms-demeanor]

IDK that I've ever put it in one post before, but here's the transplant speedrun.

1 - Valentines day 2021, he's admitted to the hospital. We take a pre-hospital selfie then I shave his head and he shaves his beard because he doesn't want to deal with hair at the hospital. Me and his mom drop him off; at that point you can only visit someone as they are actually dying and we're told that he's going to stay in the hospital until he gets a transplant or he dies, and if he's rejected as a transplant recipient he'll receive palliative care in this hospital.

2 - First week of March, they allow patients to have one screened visitor; this is our first visit - I take photos in the hospital to show his mom because at this point he has a pump in his shoulder and it is difficult for him to move his arms to use his phone. He has also been confined to a bed since the week he arrived because he's on the ECMO machine, so he can't walk or move around, though they stand him up every once in a while. At one point one of the ecmo tubes pulls out of his femoral artery, which is Not! Great! He also needed a blood transfusion about every two days at that point, which worried the doctors because it increased his likelihood of rejecting. But he had been approved for transplant at that point!

The first thing he said to me on this visit was "look, I have abs" and then he showed me his abs because it turns out when you're really really dying of heart failure your body begins to eat itself.

3 - Now That's What I Call Jaundice (cardiac cirrhosis is liver failure as a result of heart failure and it's pretty much the big giant neon flashing sign of heart failure that says "hey you're fucking dying" so if you've got heart failure and your bilirubin number is off or the whites of your eyes are yellow please kick up a gigantic stink until they check your liver; large bastard's GP, who is my doctor, who I hate, saw his bloodwork with a very high bilirubin number a month before he was diagnosed with cardiac cirrhosis and wrote it off as a testing fluke fuck that guy)

4 - Don't let the sad face fool you, he's acting pathetic so that his mom will stop yelling about the fact that I'm bringing him cookies. He's allowed to have cookies. At that point he weighed 98kg and was outsourcing his heartbeat, he was allowed to eat whatever he wanted. (have i mentioned that I was moving us from Vegas to LA at this time? I was bringing him cookies because I'd baked hundreds of peanut butter cookies and other cookies to use up the flour, sugar, and peanut butter in the vegas house)

5 - Mid-march, he's got a match! He called me when I was in Vegas filling up the truck with another load and I drove right back and to the hospital. Once he went in for surgery I drove to his mom's house and crashed, then woke up and drove to our storage unit and unpacked the truck while I waited to hear from the doctors. I was unloading a bookcase when I got the call. (There wasn't any point in waiting alone in the hospital for sixteen hours; either he was going to make it or he wasn't and someone was going to have to unload the truck at some point. People have been weird about this, like I should have been sitting at his side all the time, but there was a two-hour daily limit for most visits and look i have sat in a waiting room while this dude had a thirteen hour surgery i do not need a repeat of that experience without the soothing balm of nicotine getting me through it; so unloading a truck it was)

6 - Two days after surgery and kind of mad about it. His chest hurt a lot (obviously) but, like, a lot a lot because they'd had to open him up for the bypass just two years earlier.

7 - First walk outside of his room after transplant in early April; he needed a LOT of PT because of how much muscle he'd lost. He lost sixty pounds in the hospital before the surgery, and only gained back about twenty while he was in there.

8 - A visit from the tiny doggo

9 - I come to visit and I've got a new phone with a portrait mode so he steals it and takes stupid pictures for a few minutes. Dude is bored and restless; this is in late april and he's feeling well enough to be moody. ETA: There is a jar of pickles in front of him because he'd been fluid limited for a long time and his salt levels were off and when he got to the hospital they were like "you need electrolytes and a lot of salt" and he was like "sweetheart can you please please please bring me delicious salty things" so I was bringing him jars of pickled mushrooms and garlic stuffed olives and just a huge number of pickles that he kept trying to share with the nurses. "Alli brought the mushrooms again; would you like a pickled mushroom? I have fancy toothpicks to share them with!"

10 - He comes home for the first time in early May; he ends up getting readmitted two more times because of complications before finally being released in early July. ETA: The second time he got readmitted it was for something that he wasn't at all worried about but that they needed to monitor for a couple weeks so he was *SO BORED* and actually feeling pretty okay; so at one point when I was leaving the parking garage at 8pm my car wouldn't start, I did some troubleshooting with the manual and the internet and didn't figure it out, so I called him and he tried to troubleshoot over the phone and got frustrated and was begging his nurses to let him come out to the parking structure to work on my car (they refused) - I ended up getting a tow and fixing it when I replaced the battery terminals.

Photos are all posted with his permission.

Also I dyed my hair purple between photos one and two because it's his favorite color. I also bought a blue dress, red tights, and yellow shoes to wear to visit him because he always teases me for wearing so much black.

I just love him a lot. It was a hard couple years there, but things are getting better.

[once-upon-an-imagine]

idk if u take anon requests, but if you do, would u be willing to do an argyle x byers!reader with either the prompt “Size difference hug; they engulf you.”, or "Is that my shirt?" "You mean our shirt?"

thank u!!

YEEEES! 🥰🥰🥰 OMG I love this so much!

Warnings: getting high with Argyle Disclaimer: I don’t own Stranger Thing😊 gifs aren’t mine 😁

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Shirts & Hugs

Ever since you were little, you had always been a good listener. It probably started when you heard your parents arguing after you and your brothers went to bed. Which is why Jonathan always made you listen to some music before you went to sleep. And you usually did. But some nights, you felt a small voice in your head that told you not to. That you needed to be awake and listen to something that was going to happen. Like tonight. Which is why you heard every single thing going on outside your room. You heard the phone ringing in the middle of the night. You heard Jonathan going to your mother and asking if Argyle could spend the night. You heard his very loud van approaching your house and the very loud boy entering your house. You heard Jonathan telling him that he could stay in the basement and then you heard the door next to your room closing. Which meant Jonathan was back. And Argyle was downstairs. You slowly got out of bed and quietly stepped out of your room and into the basement. 

“Dude, I said I’m fine-” Argyle stopped when he saw it was you instead of Jonathan coming down the stairs. You saw him sitting on the pullout sofa Jonathan had set up for him, smoking a joint. “Oh, hey, sunshine” he smiled a little. “It’s like three in the morning, what are you doing up?”

“Well, I heard Jonathan ask my mom if you could spend the night and I knew that meant you had a bad day” you said, walking closer to him. 

“Is that my shirt?” 

"You mean our shirt?" you asked, looking down at your shirt before sitting down next to him and grabbing the joint from his hand as he let out a small laugh. 

“Shit, how do you always do that?” he asked, smiling at you. 

“Do what?” you asked, confused, letting out the smoke. 

“I just definitely had one of the worst days I’ve had in my life and I was in the shittiest mood and you just come in here and make me smile?” 

“Well, that’s my job, love” you smiled, returning the joint to him and kissing his cheek. “You wanna talk about it?” you asked, placing a strand of hair behind his ear. 

“It was just… a horrible day” he sighed, throwing himself on the bed.  “I was late for work so my stupid boss put me in front at the register” he started, taking another hit. “And there were so many stupid guys from school ordering this insane ingredients on their pizzas-”

“Like pineapple?”

“Pineapple on pizza is heavenly, and you know it sunshine” he glared a little at you. “Anyways they made a huge mess and I had to clean it up. Then I got home and my stupid Math test came out of my stupid bag and my mom saw that I had an F so she started yelling at me and then my dad started yelling at me and I just…” he sighed. “I didn’t want to be there anymore” he said, grabbing your hand and he started playing with it. “He said I was stupid…”

“You’re not stupid” you told him. 

“Maybe I am” he said, sitting up again, and getting upset once more. 

“No, you’re not. Look at me” you said, cupping his cheek with your and making you look at him. “Argyle, you’re not stupid” you repeated.

“You’re just saying that because you like me” he frowned. 

“That’s not true. You’re one of the smartest people I know” you insisted. “We both know that you sometimes just need to focus a little more. And you’re smart in a lot of different creative and original ways” you insisted. 

“You really think so?”

“Of course, I do” you said, giving him a peck on the lips. 

“Could you… maybe help me study so I don’t flunk out this year and I can at least move out of my horrible house?” he asked, making you smile sweetly back at him. 

“I’d love to” you said, kissing his cheek. 

“Does your brother know you’re here?” 

“Which one?” you smirked, making him glare a little at you. “No, Jonathan doesn’t know I’m here” you assured him as he finished the last of his joint. “You know he’s gonna find out somehow, right?”

“I know” he said, letting out the smoke. “I just… kinda wanna figure out how to tell him without him killing me” he told you. 

“Jonathan wouldn’t kill you” you rolled your eyes. “He can’t even fight” you said.

“You said he fought that kid from back home. Steve?”

“Yeah, that’s only because Steve is worse than Jonathan” you told him. “Which is not easy to do” you smiled. “I think Will knows” you said after a while. 

“Really? Did he say anything to you?”

“No. He just mentioned that… I’ve seem… happier lately” you informed him. 

“Oh, you’ve been happier lately, Byers?” 

“A bit” you shrugged. 

“Any particular reason why?” he asked, getting closer to you. 

“Well, I just happen to have the best boyfriend ever” you smiled, making him smile as well before he pulled you closer and kissed you. When you pulled away, you wrapped your arms around him, as much as you could. 

“What are you doing?” he chuckled. 

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m hugging you” you said as if it was obvious. 

“Sunshine, you look like a tiny koala, wrapping his tiny paws around a tree” he laughed. 

“No, I don’t!” you argued. “You always hug me when I don’t feel good, so I want to do the same for you!” you pouted. 

“As adorable as that is” he said, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you to engulf you in his huge hugs. “I like it way better like this” he said, kissing you. 

“It’s not fair! I’m supposed to be making you feel better” you frowned. 

“Sweetheart, you did that the minute you stepped in here” he assured you, kissing your nose. “I love you” he smiled. 

“I love you too” you smiled, giving in and resting your head on his chest. 

The End

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A/N: I hope you liked it :D

[hetalia-club]

Giving you this bc ur like, the only hetalia blog i still follow that still posts. But like.

Okay back in 2018-2019(?) i had a pretty big hetalia phase, i watched hetafacts videos n every episode that was on YouTube, i listened to the music on repeat. It was a major hyperfixation before i knew that i was autistic.

For the longest time after i stopped, engaging with hetalia for some reason i would. Cringe really hard whenever i saw anything hetalia related. Like. On ao3 when you go to search things it tells you how to search things and one i got (and keep getting) is like "hetalia tag:f/f" or something idk how proper ao3 searches work. Id like screenshot it and go to my friends n say "it haunts me" or some shit.

But like recently ive been. Embracing that part of my past? I guess? Like. Almost like coming to terms with it? Idk i started having a less bad reaction n like, realized it probably one of the more normal fandoms i was in. I was, cringe, as all kids are, but i was. Happy.

And then like. At a sleepover a few weeks ago, one thing leads to another and im telling my friend abt the songs and how ich leibe is. Just a recipe, and how i used to listen to almost all of the songs. I show them the clip of France trying to get England to sign a marriage contract, America ordering fucking condoms from Russia.

It has been at least 2 weeks since, and i can feel the hyperfixation coming back, half the music ive been listening too again is hetalia character songs (theyre so fucking good???) and ive been getting. Urges to watch the show and. I dont know how to feel or what to do?? Like. I'm afraid almost to get back into hetalia? Like i watched black butler a while ago, and i realized how. Theres some weird fucking tension between ceil n sebastian n i think im afraid im going to have that same reaction to hetalia?

Cause like there is shit i just completely forgot about. Like. The Bad Touch Trio. And im scared man.

Im sorry to fuckin, give you all of this, but i just. I dont know what to do ig. None of my friends like or used to like hetalia, the one i do info dump hetalia stuff too does not like hetalia and is learning shit about it against their will.

Idk, should i watch the show again? Is it, good? I genuinely can't remember anymore.

Sorry for using ur ask box like a confessional

I mean I’m right there with you man. The sole reason I am still in the Hetalia fandom is because hetalia got me through some real dark chapters and events in my life. I discovered Hetalia years ago in Highschool while with a very abusive ex who had to know everything I was doing at any given time. He wouldn’t let me go anywhere without him there. I tried to break up with him but he actually wouldn’t let me. He would threaten to off himself if I did so I felt bad because his mom was an alcoholic and his houses burned down. I stopped really going anywhere at all because if I did he would come with me and he ruined my relationships with most of my friends just by being ‘the worst’. I stopped cheerleading, I got depression really bad, I started to do terrible in all my classes but I discovered Hetalia while on deviant art and was instantly intrigued. It was like “idk what this is but I will now make it my personality”

Years later while with my most recent abusive Ex that I just broke up with last November I got back into Hetalia when our relationship started to get really bad and hard to cope wit on my own. I needed an escape and something to help me avoid him and no care so much about his insults something that I could think about instead of being sad all the time. Hetalia is something that just brings me joy. Instead of venting to people, getting therapy or increasing my meds Hetalia was just always there to go back to and escape. No idea what it is about it. Won’t go into details about the relationship, it’s irrelevant right now but I’m sure you can guess.

To answer your question, no Hetalia isn’t ‘good’ it makes zero sense and is confusing as hell. But for me it’s fun to use as a spring board for basically any kind of AU I could think up. The characters can fit into any type of situation you want to shove them in.

I would say give it a rewatch, as much as you want anyway. What is the worst that could happen? You continue an interest that brought you joy? Worst case. You are a bit cringe? Who cares if you are cringe if you are happy? Also not encouraging you to live a double life but if you are embarrassed to like Hetalia you don’t actually have to tell anyone how obsessed with it you are. No one but my ex knows how much I like Hetalia and he really has no idea just how deep I am in this shit. But if people knowing about one of your interests humiliates you then just don’t share it. At the end of the day it’s your comfort and it makes you happy it’s no one’s business.

There are a lot of old fandom tropes that have disappears the BTT being one of them. They put them as a group still but I guess they call it ‘bad friends ti’ now. There are still some things that make me side eye. But that’s every fandom I feel. You can choose who you wish to associate with and who you want to block or avoid. It’s your blog you don’t own an explanation to anyone.

Personally I don’t interact much with the people of the fandom itself I got a few people it talk to every now and again but really i just do my own thing. I write my own fics for myself. I got my little tumblr, discord and TikTok, I post about my little AUs and dumb thoughts and continue on. If people want to follow me that’s great, welcome. If they don’t that’s cool to!

Thanks for sticking around with me even after your Interest in Hetalia fizzled out tho haha! That had to be difficult I am very annoying at times I’m sure 😭.

Again worst thing that could happen than if you are a bit cringe. But not being cringe is boring as hell. Irl I’m one of the most normal bitches you could find. Carbon copy white girl. Absolutely no one would guess I were a Hetalia obsessed loser irl. In a line up you could not pick me out and guess my interests. So in February I got my hair done right? I got like. 500 dollar biolage it fades from brown to strawberry blonde. Want to know the reason I got this hair style? Because of Italy that’s why. I wanted red hair like him. Did I tell anyone that? No. When people said they liked my hair and asked me why I went red I would just go “idk just felt like it” but I would be thinking about him knowing the real answer.

Good luck anon, if you stick around welcome back the water is fine. If you don’t can you toss me that life vest up there if you don’t mind? Thank you!

[rosquinn]

Hi Roski! I have a question, would you mind to help, please?

Okay, so the other when I was wandering through the shelves of my local library I found our that they have a copy of Madeline's Miller Circe... And I was thinking that maybe I should give it a try? 😅

I know that it's not mythology accurate but as long as the plotline is well-written... Idk maybe I will enjoy in spite of it 🤷🏻‍♀️ Do you is it a good idea?

I just wanted to know if you believe is worth the time or nor

Also, same goes for Achilles's song. They don't have it at the library, but I thought that if I enjoyed Circe I should try it to? 🤔

i used to be a huge madelline miller fan *vaguely gestures at her short story about galatea i still have in my bookshelf for some reason* but i realized she, well, uh, sucks

it's not about her writing, (it's excessively "poetic" and decorated in my opinion but that's subjective) it's that her interpretations are kind of. bad?

i'm gonna elaborate under the cut about why i don't like her (long rant and tw for *mentions of s/a*)

-she victimizes her female main character and makes her go through traumatic experiences to erase and excuse all the bad stuff she's done... "circe turned odysseus' men into pigs bc they tried to assault her" yeah. no. she forced odysseus to sleep with her and turned his men into pigs because she felt like it. i understand you want a feminist badass witch but just. no. she isn't a cute uwu unfairly exiled goddess. what she did to odysseus is sexual abuse.

-she apparently hates women that aren't circe. made thetis, i repeat, our thetis, MOTHER thetis, a homophobic and overprotective mom who wants to kill patroclus in SOA for some reason (wasn't she literally the one who sent patroclus to the war with achilles..... miller..aren't you a classics major..). she did to her what other adaptations do to demeter, basically. and for no reason at all. but i guess her cute baby achilles who is doomed by the narrative can't have a nice mom who let him do whatever he wanted to because that would make him RUDE and EVIL and her character(s) can't have bad qualities. she also made achilles's wife, deidameia, who in some versions is raped by him, a “slut that gets in the way of your gay ship” archetype. she also made her rape achilles for some reason??? and that is fucking horrible

-baby-fied patroclus. he speaks like a stupid teenager girl stereotype in soa and is pretty much a useless human being whose entire personality is simping for achilles. that is not him. he DID fight in the trojan war, he was a SKILLED fighter, not a useless twig, he is described as tall and handsome, he healed some warriors, he is SAVAGE, bro literally broke kebriones's head with a rock in front of his brother and made fun of it??? he tried to climb the walls of troy and conquer it by himself??? he told achilles to stop being a bitch and move his ass??? and then in soa he's a useless piece of shit who DIDN'T EVEN FIGHT IN THE WAR, thinks of himself as weak and was thinking about achilles until the moment he died. sorry to break it to you but his last words in the iliad weren't "omg achilles no😥😥". he threw a whole essay at hector about how he didn't kill shit, it was apollo who beat him and hector's about to get dragged. and when his ghost came back to talk to achilles, it was to tell him to STOP CRYING and KILLING PEOPLE and BURN HIS BODY ALREADY. she completely erased his character. sorry.

-glorified achilles wayyy too much. one thing that i hate about her is how she can't let anyone make mistakes. achilles isn't “noble and doomed by the narrative”. he knew pretty well where he was stepping in and didn't give two shits. he literally says in Iliad book 1 he's there for the mass murder, glory and nothing more. “why would i kill hector what has hector ever done to me” MY ASS. he also was kind of an insufferable bitch in the iliad. i'm tired of people making his decision of stop fighting look “heroic/noble/tragic/etc bc agamemnon is evil” because it was not. he stopped fighting for selfish reasons, treated everyone really bad and let his friends die. also, agamemnon isn't “evil” and achilles isn't “good”. they're both war criminals who act like 8 year olds and kidnap women. every achaean character is a bitch, has killed at least 6 people and enjoyed it. yes. even babyboy patroclus (book 16)

-i'm not even saying this as a person with greek ancestry or a pagan, because i am neither, but her depiction of the gods is TERRIBLE. just what is that whole thing of "gods want mortals to fear them so they worship them"??? that's not even how religion works??? gods can be and in fact are very nice to their worshippers?? why would you villainize cultural figures like that?? and why tf it always gotta be a EVIL FEMALE GODDESS trying to fuck up her main character's life for some reason?? athena wants to kill circe's son in circe and i'm pretty sure they don't even interact in the odyssey?? (maybe they did, i don't remember, but if it happened it was definitely NOT because of that) and why is hermes a manipulator?? and why is ODYSSEUS a manipulator??? you literally sexually assaulted him??? HELLO????

idk, it just feels like mc victimization and random female character villainization (she also put the whole blame of the trojan war on helen because she was “vain” and “selfish”??? didn't she spend the whole iliad blaming herself for the war and wishing to die??)

i don't really like it. it's not a good adaptation

also i'm not the best person to expand on this topic because i am not a gay man/mlm/nblm but some people on tumblr have explained why tsoa is basically mlm fetish and wattpad fujoshi looking crap and they do have a point (the relationship is so stereotyped tbh) so i encourage you to read their posts. i don't have them rn but i can dm them to you later if you want

AND finally, most people in her fanbase can't separate a wattpad fanfic (because that's what tsoa is) from the original text and think tsoa and circe are just like what homer wrote. “hector didn't know it was patroclus” HE FUCKING DID PATROCLUS KILLED 20 PEOPLE IN FRONT OF HIM IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE “patroclus died bc he wasn't a skilled warrior” HE HAS THE SECOND HIGHEST KILL COUNT IN THE WHOLE ILIAD AND WAS FULL OF HUBRIS. HE DIED BECAUSE HE TRIED TO FISTFIGHT A GOD “deidameia raped achilles” “thetis is homophobic” “odysseus is evil” “it was all helen's fault” “circe did nothing wrong” “athena is bad” no (and they act like not shipping patrochilles makes you homophobic which is. cmon. i personally think they def had something going on but it's never explicitly stated and you can't act like it is)

ik i got too aggressive but it's just bad imo, if you want to enjoy a good iliad/odyssey adaptation go play hades or listen to epic the musical or even play limbus company because i swear lc's odysseus, a literal old woman who committed identity fraud, is at least 80 times more in character than miller's babyboys

ADDITION: no i'm not going to dismember you for liking tsoa or circe. this is just a personal opinion. enjoy whatever you want i'm just a little guy and i can't stop you. have fun!

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, September 5th, 2024.

Who do you talk to about personal problems? Mainly my dad and my therapist. I have started opening up to my mom a little bit (not only with problems, but with things of a personal nature, the past, etc), but I'm trying to do it in small increments that way I can draw back at any time if things get too uncomfortable. And I could go to Oliver, but I prefer not to. There was a time in our friendship when I leaned on them far too heavily; it wasn't healthy and I don't want to repeat it. I know that they would be there for me if I needed them, but it's enough to simply feel their supportive presence while chatting about random whatnot, laughing over a silly video, or something like that.

Do you wear make-up? I haven't worn makeup for years. This is apparently how my brain works: I would wear it if I had any actual skill, but I'm not willing to practice in order to develop that skill. So…barefaced it is.

Do you shower daily? Not quite. There's usually one day a week when I don't bother, and today was that day. My dad and I went to the Mountain Park and aside from a brief stop at Carl's Jr. I wasn't planning on being around anyone long enough (or close enough) for it to matter.

Do you think any guys are going to take this survey? It's possible. I know of at least one guy in the survey-taking realm, but will he take (or has he taken) this survey specifically? Idk.

Do you love to shop? I actually really enjoy going grocery shopping, especially during the holiday season. I go a little bit overboard when it comes to holiday treats. When it comes to other things, it's like a potential addiction that's reasonably well-controlled. I know I don't truly need (or sometimes even want) new things. It's just my brain looking for that dopamine hit or attempting to fill a void, and I can usually catch myself before making a pointless purchase.

What is your favourite accessory? Do lip piercings count? I've had them for so long that I wouldn't feel like myself without them. I have an Italian charm bracelet that I wear all the time as well. Rings are also nice, but I only wear them occasionally.

Tampons or pads? Blah.

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend? I was just about to turn 13. I'm not even sure if I should count it because it was a middle school relationship, but we did date for a little over a year. It also raises the question of which relationships should count because it's not like there was a hard line between serious and unserious. Although, tbh, I don't think I've had one that was truly serious… I loved those people, sure, but damn - none of those relationships were mature, healthy, or sustainable.

If you were to have sex right now, would you use a condom? I don't want to have sex with anyone.

Do you think it’s bad to have sex at your age? No.

Would you cry if you got pregnant? Yeah. Definitely not happy tears. This is why I would probably refrain from sex in certain situations - I just don't trust various forms of birth control to do their job and I don't want any surprises.

Do you have real or fake fingernails? Real.

Are you content with the current weather? Yesss. It's cool and cloudy and it's been raining on and off all day. Perfect Mountain Park weather with undeniable hints of autumn.

Do you own many pairs of shorts? No.

Is there a place you’d rather be right now? I'm fine with being here for the time being, but I am serious when I say I'm going to take some extra time off here and there to get out to the mountains. At least…I hope I'm serious. Future Me, don't let me down, okay? Take some fvcking TIME for YOURSELF.

Is there an article of clothing you need to buy right now? There was an article of clothing I wanted to buy, but I ended up getting it for free thanks to Veronica (a board member at the animal shelter). She was in the other day and saw me wearing a staff shirt, so she asked, "Does that mean…or are you just…?" And I was like, "Yeah, I'm still just a volunteer, ahah." But she had me go up to the front where they have some shirts and merch and such and pick out a few things, one of which was a pine green sweater I had been eyeing. I was planning on buying it once the weather cooled off if it was still there, so…score! :')

Is there a situation you currently feel hopeless about? Kind of, yeah, which is funny because this situation is going to end come September 21st. Alex is leaving!!! My brain just can't seem to comprehend that it's going to be over sooner than I think, and then I'll never have to deal with her again. I am so excited to see how our little cattery group will develop after she's gone. I feel like it's going to be so much more supportive and chill.

Have you ever wanted to get drunk and take your mind off of everything? In the past, yeah. Nowadays, getting drunk just sounds…ugh. Fun in theory but probably regrettable in reality.

How long does it take you in the shower? 10-15 minutes.

Does your password have to do with a person? One of them does.

Do you believe that it is best to have a friendship first then love? I don't know what's "best," but I would like to take things slow in future relationships.

Do you have any fun plans for tomorrow? I'll be at the animal shelter for a full day.

Have you ever had to choose between two people? Maybe kinda sorta.

Do you think 2018 will top 2017? 2018 was an absolute dumpster fire. Probably the rock bottomiest of all my rock bottoms. The following years were a jagged climb, but THANK GOD I am so far away from that place now.

Have you ever been in a hospital? Yeah.

[ask-missparker]

Season 2 ideas - Jeremy, Liane, Joshua, Belladonna and Nikolai are all accidentally stuck in the enchanted forest.

—They have to find a way back home but on their way home they stop by a few stops, meeting old faces and a couple of new ones 👀 meanwhile in the town they have their own little spots of trouble.

Side-note: Idk if we will do another AU season 🤷‍♀️ yet. I still wanna continue the Wandavision one 💘

For the OUAT: We might change some things because i was thinking about Michelle being in the forest as well, she hasn’t been washed over during the first curse. Like maybe Michelle was in hiding after all theses years once the curse broke in real time and makes her grand return saving the day.

———

In the enchanted forest 🌳

Jeremy ties to men up to the tree, shining his hook and asks, “What do you want? Why do you want to go to our town?”

The older brother spat, “Because you have something of ours. Well, more importantly your husband does.”

“Oh god, what did he do now?”

The young brother added, “He has our sister locked in a pendant! Every time someone uses it, it drains her magic.”

Liane asked, “What’s her name?”

“Stella..he lost her to a duel with Gold’s husband..we want her back!”

Meanwhile Belladonna was looking at the young pretty blonde who played with her sword like it was a magical stick. They found her when they landed here and her mother requested she followed them. Joshua watched her eyes line and snorted as his friend told him to shut it.

“I didn’t say anything.” He replied.

“And I said shut it.” She repeated.

Nikolai gave both of them a look and half smiled sheepishly noticing how her son reminded her of his father. Even better, Belladonna reminded him of Cole at times, then he looked back at the brothers.

Nikolai asked, “What are your names?”

“Why do you want to know?” Asked the young one.

Jeremy responded for him, “My first mate asked a question. What are your names? Give me one other reason why I should let you go and not let you be eaten by Ogres.”

“Thiego and Leonardo, pirate. I don’t need to give you another reason onto why..”

“Why?”

“There is nothing for us in this land. Cora is asking us to help her out of a reward.”

“What reward?”

“Go to this new land, get revenge on your husband and most importantly, restore our family.”

Jeremy looked at his niece and nephew at the last part. Joshua was looking into the guys bags and scars on their chins, noticing deep daggers as he mutters, “Stabbington Brothers?”

Nikolai looked at his son raised an eyebrow, “You know them?

Belladonna stopped looking at the blonde to look at the others saying, “It’s from Tangled.”

Liane blinked confused wondering about where is Rapunzel and her man, Flynn Rider, at if theses guys are here.

Jeremy mumbled, “Of course you’ve seen that movie too. At least it’s better that Ames’s movie.”

He gasped in response, “Hey! That movie depicted us horribly..”

Joshua joked, “Yeah, dad, all you did was kiss mom once after one single encounter while she was asleep.”

Bella snorted, “Well my movie they made my dad kinda one dimensional and only slaying my mother instead of helping her.” 

Liane’s eyes almost flashed purple but Nikolai put a hand on her shoulder to just let it go like Elsa.

The brothers were about to question a couple of things, even bargain a deal to help the others. When suddenly a voice caught into the background of the woods.

“There you are, sons of bitches!” Yelled the voice of the young woman who it seemed to belong to.

Everyone looked around to search for the voice in question. Whoever it was, she has a mouth on her! Jeremy grinned as he thought he was dreaming when he heard it. Nikolai smirked not wanting to get his hopes up yet.

The sun was shining across the thick blonde curls as shiny armor came into view, it looked more Royal than most. She held a small smile as she walked over to the group, her sword resting on her hip, her boots pounding against the ground and her eyes bright was the ocean. Liane looked a bit confused onto the women in front of her, almost like she seen her before but the pirate boys beat her to.

“Michelle?” Asked Nikolai and Jeremy at the same time seeing their old friend.

“Who were you expecting? Lancelot?” She joked with a smile, but her glared stayed on the two men tied up against the tree, who robbed her earlier.

Bella, Alice and Joshua were all dumbfounded by the young blonde.

———

Hehe ok I now want our OCs watching and roasting the Disney versions of themselves 😂

Tags: @gcthvile @missstrawbs2001 @purpleprincessonfyre @cherrysft @luna-d-marsh @rickb-chaos @rooster-84 @sherloquestea @thecavalrywife @thisgirlisonfayeeer @rickb-chaos @sherloquestea @thecavalrywife @thisgirlisonfayeeer @cherrykissthings @mera-xebella and etc

[teenagemilkshakefan]

ELITE UPDATE 2: THREE SEASONS FINISHED

Ookayyy let's go so my first elite (let's say review) was after watching just 4 episodes and forming a holy shit amount of opinions for every character coz boy was I wrong..anyways I just finished 3 seasons of elite!.. like wow can't believe that. so let's talk about it. Firstly I get that this is a murder mystery show but like do we get someone or the other getting killed of in the end or like what? okay first things first I said some wild things about some of my babies and i really wanna retract my statement because these people are my babies.. guzman, lu, omar and ander lord i had absolutely no idea that there characters would be here now, like god! okay nadia and guzman I was shipping it then and I am shipping it now (although they broke up, but fuck that! they're still together for me) yeah, so like, believe me no one I repeat not a single person saw the whole nadia and lu friendship coming , like it literally hit me and I was like wha-

THE throuple ended, some people died and we got our second favorite couple - samuel and carla!! aghhh they were soo cute. love them so much! just fyi if you also love them, then don't see the short stories they literally broke up every single couple in there) now coming back to the elephant in the room- POLO*** jesus but I from a hundred miles away could not even think this was gonna happen, like my 1st update is evidence of that, I was so indifferent towards him coz I just didn't care! he was a sidekick imo but somehow this guy even after MURDERING someone made me feel sympathetic for him!! for a murderer like how did they do that!? Polo's death actually made me cry more than marina's ( never liked her but still). He was going through so much . He was in pain. like watching him struggle through life was insanely difficult and his mom supporting patriarchy after being in a lesbian relationship was another level of rage for me. But boy the guy did have a thing for throuples (I am still wrapping my head around the first one) ooh and newbies-- cayetana ,rebeka ( not sure i spelled it right), valerio (*heart eyes*) oh and emir ( idk if that's the name but carla's rich bf) These people somehow pulled the rug right out of my feet. Valerio was in the headlines in s2 and s3. Firstly s2 the whole thing with lu..ooh but that was a bit (no actually very much) weird. Let's not go there. Yeah and the whole cayetana thing..nicee ( as in story wise not in disrespecting your mother for her work wise) i don't really like her tbh but I have a strong gut feeling that I would eventually end up loving her. I still wanna say sorry to guzman. You're the best srsly. samuel I love you, but what you did to rebeka was wrong. So fuck you ( but like gently) yeah uhm rebeka.. okay so new story and lots of drama *widens eyes* obv I love her like how could anyone NOT love her. She's a total babe. ugh this is getting really long okay yeah so about my future elite plans...? none for now, I feel like s3 ended on a good note for me. And if I am being honest. I dug up a bit and found out that samuel and guzman have some beef over a girl in s4 and I am def not in the mood for seeing there friendship get messed up. So yeah for now it's a goodbye to elite. I feel like there should be one more update coz I missed some major plot points like the whole ander and omar thing, and nadia's dad and yeah lu and party scene but *shrugs* let's see.

[preciouspiastri]

IM STARING SOOOO INTENTLY AT canon(ish?), logan loves benny and later sarah but feels like a homewrecker

ok this one i can already tell is going to be my legit baby so here's a few pieces of it so far <33 i'll probably decide later on down the road if benny comes back after he leaves or not but idk yet! i might make him and sarah logan's wags and let elias keep his job lol

“But this is our dream?” (Logan) “No, Logan, this is your dream. I want to be a father. I want to be a family with Sarah.” (Benny) Logan reels back like he's been smacked. “Oh. I get it. I'm not a part of this like I thought I was then.” (Logan) “Logan, I didn't mean it like that. You have to know I didn't mean it like that!” (Benny) “I thought this would be better, but it’s not.” (Benny) “We tried, right?” Logan curls in on himself, feels impossibly small. Just wants Benny to say this ever meant something, anything to him like it did Logan. “We did try.” (Benny) “I know we were waiting to see if it would get better once we made it to F1, but it’s just not getting better. I think we both have to admit that.” (Benny)

“This is hard, but I think you were right. You should go be a dad to Kobe and Nala, spend time with Sarah.” “I won’t stop you, but are you sure Logan?” Logan nods. “Yeah, I can’t keep taking you away from your family. It’s not fair.” “You’re my family too, Logan. Whatever happens, I need you to remember that, yeah?” Logan nods to appease Benny, but he knows that Benny’s just saying that to make this easier, to make Logan feel better about essentially firing his trainer. Knows that eventually communication will peter out to obligatory texts and that Logan has to find a way to cope with that and move on. He can’t keep doing this to Benny or Sarah. He can’t destroy their actual family.

Logan’s phone lights up with the name ‘Sarah ❤️’ and the picture that the three of them took on the beach in Miami in 2023. Logan has a feeling as to why she’s calling, but can’t let it go unanswered. He couldn’t do that to Sarah, so he takes a deep breath and unlocks his phone. “Hello?” “Hi, love.” “Hi, Sarah,” Logan says. “You want to tell me what’s going on?” She asks gently. And something inside Logan breaks. Suddenly he’s sobbing down the phone with shuddering gasps racking his body, unable to catch his breath. “Hey, hey. You’re fine, babes. I need you to breathe for me.” He’s fucking trying, but his body just won’t cooperate. Sarah can hear him struggling, and it breaks her heart. “Do you need me to do anything?” Sarah asks. “No,” Logan chokes out. “Will you just talk? About anything, I don’t care.”

fuck it i'll include the playlist for this one too, it's more infidelity/guilt vibes but there are a few repeats

you signed up for this (maisie peters)

the blue (gracie abrams)

is there something in the movies (samia)

i know it won’t work (gracie abrams)

aeroplane (greer)

the other woman (lana del rey)

triptych (samia)

picture you (chappell roan)

coffee (chappell roan)

why did you marry (nataly dawn)

i don’t sleep well (hello saferide)

i do (reneé rapp)

high infidelity (taylor swift)

right where you left me (taylor swift)

go home (lucius)

don’t tell my mom (reneé rapp)

the kids don’t wanna come home (declan mckenna)

the one that got away (katy perry)

as long as we’re together (the lemon twigs)

why didn’t you say that? (the lemon twigs)

pool (samia)

to me it was (samia)

orange show speedway (lizzy mcalpine)

reckless driving (lizzy mcalpine)

called you again (lizzy mcalpine)

just dumb enough to try (father john misty)

nobody sees me like you do (japanese breakfast's version)

everybody does (julien baker)

your father (the front bottoms)

when u love somebody (fruit bats)

tornado warnings (sabrina carpenter)

things i wish you said (sabrina carpenter)

talking to strangers (maisie peters)

tough act (maisie peters)

bad decisions (bastille)

good lesson (bastille)

make me cry (noah cyrus)

fell in love without you (motion city soundtrack)

rewind (goldspot)

where’s my love (SYML)

meant to stay hid (SYML)

bottom of the ocean (miley cyrus)

not like the movies (katy perry)

grow as we go (ben platt)

same boat (lizzy mcalpine)

illicit affairs (taylor swift)

if you leave (orchestral manoeuvres in the dark)

also probably half of lizzy mcalpine's new album will end up on this list as well because that entire album is about logan and benny

[monsterhunting]

📖 and ♥ for the ask meme?

thank you for asking!!!

📖"what has surprised you about your WIPs?"

hmmmmmmmm idk. maybe lately i feel like i’ve been coming up with a lot of jonathan focused fic ideas. a lot of them aren’t really like Ideas™️ worthy enough of being a google doc WIP but still. anyway it’s surprising bc i like jonathan of course but out of the main teens he is not my favorite. in fact my ranking would probably go steve > nancy > robin > jonathan. and yet!!!! many jonathan ideas lately

❤️"what are your favorite scenes from your WIPs?"

ok so I had three!!!! one is from a Stonathan WIP and the other is from a Robin pov stoncy + rovickie + platonic stobin WIP but I will put them under the cut so it doesn’t get too long

sooooo for context and without giving too much away i have a stonathan WIP where steve is a ghost that only jonathan can see and near the end they’re trying to get him back from the upside down which is where he died bc they think they can bring him back and jonathan volunteers to do it alone. i actually have no idea how they’re going to figure this out or how they’ll bring him back when he’s theoretically dead!!!! hopefully one day i’ll figure it out. anyway here’s the scene:

But when Jonathan opens the door, he finds Nancy and Robin behind it.

“We’re coming with you,” Robin says without preamble.

Jonathan sighs. “Robin — ”

“He’s my best friend,” Robin says, and Jonathan’s mouth snaps shut at the tremor in her voice. “He’s the most important person in the fucking world to me, so if there’s even the slightest chance he’s alive down there then, yeah, I’m going.”

Jonathan blinks, then slowly looks to Nancy.

“I’m going, too,” she adds, and when Jonathan opens his mouth to protest, she continues, “Jonathan, you’ve never even been to the Upside Down. Me and Robin have. Twice. Actually, it’s been three times for me, and I survived all of them. If anything, you need my help.”

Jonathan sighs again. “Guys — ”

“No, don’t even think about saying something like — like — like it’s too dangerous, or whatever,” Robin says. “So what? You think you get to be the one to sacrifice your safety for Steve all because he was just some ghostly shadow hanging over your shoulder for a couple of weeks?”

“Robin — ”

“Byers,” Robin cuts in. “I’m fucking going, alright?”

Jonathan lets out a heavy breath, and then, finally, says, “Alright.”

“And don’t think that I won’t — ”

“Robin, I said okay!”

Robin’s mouth snaps shut.

Nancy raises her eyebrows. “Okay?” She repeats.

“Yeah,” Jonathan says. Robin blinks, and Nancy’s eyebrows arch higher. “I mean, I know I should try to stop you, but…” He trails off, then admits, selfishly, “I really don’t want to do this alone.”

and then the next two are from the robin pov part two of you can hear it in the silence. the first scene takes place right after nancy calls steve about their “date”, and then steve promptly calls robin back home panicking and freaking out about said “date.” the second scene is a bit later when steve, nancy, and jonathan are already “dating”:

“Who was that on the phone?” Her mom asks as Robin returns to her seat at the kitchen table.

“Steve,” Robin answers before taking a bite of her mashed potatoes.

Her mom snorts fondly. “Course it was.” She takes a bite of mashed potatoes, too, then pauses. “Rob…are you sure you two aren’t — ”

Robin sighs. “Mom. Yes, I’m sure.”

She raises her hands in defense. “Okay, okay. Just checking. Again.”

“We’re just friends,” Robin says for the millionth time. Then she adds, for proof, “Actually, he was calling me to tell me he’s going on a date this week.”

Her mom’s eyebrows arch. “Oh? Who’s the lucky lady?”

Robin shifts in her seat. “Oh, uh. Just…one of our friends.”

“And how about you, Robbie?” Her dad asks. “Meet somebody nice up in Chicago yet?”

And the thing is — Robin likes her parents. Her dad is quiet, if a little absent-minded, and her mom isn’t her best friend the way some of the girls in her classes gush about. But they’re both good people. They give a dollar to homeless people when they pass them in the city, they recycle. They didn’t even vote for Reagan — although that’s mainly because they didn’t vote, period. Since Robin was a kid, her parents have always been the kind of people who claim they hate politics, who never watch the news because it’s too depressing.

But her parents are good people, and Robin likes them. She loves them, and what’s more, they love her, too. She knows that. She’s never had to question that.

And she’s terrified that one day she will.

So Robin just says, “Nope, not yet,” forces a smile, and takes another bite of mashed potatoes.

“So, how are things with Nance and Jonathan?” Robin asks.

Steve smiles. “Really good.” He opens his mouth to say more, then snaps it shut, as though he’s suddenly embarrassed.

Robin nudges him with her foot. “What?”

Steve fiddles with the throw pillow in his lap for a moment. “I think I love them,” he admits.

Robin feels herself start to smile. “Yeah?”

Steve glances up and nods. He’s starting to smile, too. “Yeah. God, so much. It’s kind of embarrassing, actually.”

“Why’s that embarrassing?”

“I don’t know.” Steve sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, I’ve been a little in love with them since sophomore year? So — it just feels like a lot, I guess.”

“Hey,” Robin says sternly. “Your feelings are not a lot.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant, like…” Steve trails off. “I don’t know, it feels intense. I just feel so…full of it, sometimes. Like I’m going to explode, or something crazy, and I’ve never — I mean, even when I was dating Nancy…well, I was in love with her, obviously, but I guess with everything going on…even then, it never felt like this.” He laughs a little, sounding embarrassed. “I don’t know. I guess that sounds really lame, but I — it’s like I’ve never felt this happy.”

“Steve,” Robin says softly. “That’s amazing.”

Steve makes a face, ducking his head to fiddle with the throw pillow again.

“Seriously, I mean it,” Robin says. “You should tell them.”

[cogbreath]

i read your recent posts and idk if i can help but i hope youre alright 😢💖

thanks

things arwnt alright rifht now

what might happen is after this it will go back to stagnation which i know is not a form of safety either but its the best that can be offerwd to us at this moment

lately we are trying to make money to have something it's not super bleak but this is still really some awful stuff that nobody should go through

my mom said some days ago if she didnt allow him to "save her life" that i probbalt wouldnt be here neither woild she

i cant feel graditude for it

i want to believe that there is a universe without him where i still lived and she still lived

i wonder if life is worth all this

it probably has to be right

but its hard to cope knowing that life comes at the cost of severe repeated trauma

i dont mind too much thst ill never be mentally stable or healthy

those cards were dealt half in the womb and the other before i could resist it

its made me who i am and i do love who i am

i just don't understand the point of the game i dont understand why i have to play the role that i do and how its beneficial surely it cant be

my enforced passivity cant possibly prevent anything truly

she says if we kick him out hed get worse and try to hurt us badly

that cant happen

someone would do something surely

our neighbors carw about us

one just brought us ice and food because of the current circumstances

its a smal gesture and its notjing that i need personally but it still has me tearing up

people online even care greatly such as yourself and others

tjis doesnt really end on any kind of note judt running rjougjts but thank you

[gyu-dloml]

To Jihoonie, my bestest boy :"

Lee Jihoon. Feels very personal to say it. But my precious baby Wooza, you're so incredible. Composing, producing and writing the lyrics to every masterpiece in Seventeens discography (and more). Are you even human? I'd very much appreciate it if you were to give me even a drop of talent from that big bucket of yours. But talent only takes you so far, Lee Jihoon you are extremely hard working too.

Carrying all that responsibility on your back ever since svt was created. I can't even imagine how much pressure you must be feeling, but you handled it like a champ and look where you guys are now! You deserve every ounce of happiness that you get and so much more my bubs.

My biggest thank you goes to you. Because you're the one who created all the songs that I can sing along to, dance to and also cry to. While svt has been the constant source of my comfort for so long now with GoSe but of course the major credits go to your guy's music. With listening to Rock With You then playing it on repeat for god knows how many days, I also listened to many of your other songs. And I knew I was long gone when I started crying while listening to Smile Flower, Thanks, Us Again, Circles and so many more. I'm happy because of what you do Woozi, and I have no idea how many 'thank you's or how much love it takes to tell you how grateful I am. I just wish that somehow, it'll get across.

Thank you for telling us that you guys love and care for us as much as we do and for so many nice things you say regarding us. Just take my fucking thank you please Jihoon :' I'm so happy that I found you guys on my loneliest times and you all made it so bright.

I hope you get 100 times as much happiness that you've given me. I could start talking about how ripped you are and that Svt called you the hulk but that would just ruin the sentimental vibes here, right? (not that I already did it)

Just like always, take care my lovely Woozirongi, don't forget to rest.

With my warmest hug (even if you reject),

Tia :")

I kind of wrote for all of Svt in between but like I couldn't help it. Wooza is very near and dear to my heart and just so so precious. I really hope all of our love (us carats who might never see them :')) reaches them safely and that they feel the warmth they've provided us tenfolds.

Also this seems like a perfect time to remind idk who, that my love is very much admirational (did I just create a word?) and that I just feel so grateful to them because honestly, the last year and more has been bearable only because of them. There was a time when I moved and would only talk to my mom everyday and those are the times when Seventeen made me happy and it just meant a lot to me.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hey Dani, a little rant cuz I don't have anyone I can talk to abt this lmao.

Little background because I think it all factors in d problem

My mom is not that well educated, She can't speak English very well and it's her biggest insecurity specially because we live in a city and a society that gives it soooo much importance. She never pursues any interest. Had an arranged marriage and she always says she feels very lonely. Lmao while I'm writing this I realise I wanna tell u so much but il try to keep it short.They are both nit that physically well. Mom's got hepatitis B, dad's got diabetes and stuff.

She has many friends but like they are all typical gossip aunties, even my mom is one haha. My dad on the other hand is well, more educated, goes to the office and stuff but he's VERY introverted, doesn't talk much at all, you literally have to beg him and like coax stuff out of him which can get super tiring and annoying ngl. Today, they fought again and their topic is always the same

Mom- I AM ALONE ALL DAY AT HOME, I DONT HAVE ANYONE TO TALK TOA DN THEN U COM FROM OFFICE AND JUST GO AND WATCH TV AND YOU UUST TALK ABT WORK BLAH BLAH

I have tried to talk to my dad and well he says he ll work on it but he never does or maybe he just can't so I tried to tell my mom to try new things independently and not depend on my dad so much. Obviously neither of them listen to me but they make me losten to their shitt. I'm just so tired at this point. Don't know what to do. Today my mom said that if this goes on, either one us (mom or dad) will not remain. And I'm like wow dude such a nice thing to say after coming back from 5 hrs of college and 4 hours of travelling with no food.

At this point, Idk who's wring or who's selfish. Me, my mom, my dad or all 3 of us. Thank god my brother is not involved in dis shitt.

Oh, sweetie, this is such desi daughter trauma and i am so sorry that you're caught in the middle of it.

I'm proud of you for protecting your brother and for trying to do something about it.

But it's not your job to fix your parents' marriage but i totally understand why you feel the need to do so.

Something that might help (and definitely helped for me) is to help your mom find some hobbies that might make her feel less lonely. It should be something new and something she'll enjoy and something she can look forward to.

A lot of our moms don't have a life of their own (because they were told their life is about caring for someone else) so their loneliness is very valid - but, i repeat, not your responsibility.

Something you can also do is perhaps organize some kind of activity you all do as a family together at least once a week (yes this is a headache i know), it could be cooking a meal together or watching some stupid reality show (this is what we did at home) and or just whatever that comes to mind.

You're not selfish at all. I hope this doesn't interfere with your studies. If it does, PLEASE tell your parents about it. Sometimes parents stop fighting when they realize it's affecting your grades (desi math istg).

Sending lots of love!

[sneverussape]

all right, i'll bite :) for the 4am asks: 12, 14, 39, 87, 100. <3

:3

answering this while a storm rages outside and i’ve yet to have my morning coffee — so this will be…idk unflinchingly honest prob.

12. Do you have the feeling you’ve lost something you might have had in another life - whether it be a person, a place, a world, a language, etc.?

when i was growing up, my parents always reminded us that, had they done something different during their past (dated another person, went to another university, etc), they would not have married each other and we would not have been born. hearing that so constantly as a kid made me have an awareness of What Could Have Been, even though what my parents were aiming for was prob a weird sense of “wow thank god you guys got married” which my brothers and i never gave them lol. i always imagine the scenarios of my parents never getting married to each other and living different lives, but also what would have happened had other decisions been made.

that sense of loss is constant when i think about these things too much - what if we had stayed in x country, what if i had gone to x school for university, what if i had said yes to this certain offer, etc. all of them would have led to a very different life than what i have now. for one thing i’d probably not have the job i have now (a field and institution i never in a million years would have thought i’d be in as a kid), and i’d probably be living elsewhere (likely the US). even staying together with a former partner would have led to a different outcome - i’d probably have kids, live in california, and have a different career/life trajectory. i’m not unhappy with the state of my life rn though, and i think this is the scenario i’d have chosen anyway had i been given the option. the grief maybe comes from the loss of deeper relationships i could have had. i miss the people i’ve had to say goodbye to and are no longer in touch with for one reason or another. i like to imagine that in other universes these other scenarios exist and we’re still having the time of our lives.

14. Would you want to be reincarnated?

no. :)) i want the end to be the end, yknow? whether there’s Beyond or Nothing i want it to be that already. no more repeats, i’m tiredt.

39. Do you know what you want out of life?

whenever people ask me this question, it always reminds me of that scene in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape when gilbert gets asked what he wants for himself, and gilbert says “i want to be a good person”. i watched this as a kid and it really stuck with me. it seems like such a simple thing to be but it’s not. i can’t control most things; i can only really control myself. what i want out of life is just me putting some good out to the world as much as possible, and making conscious decisions that would help rather than harm, even if it’s just for a single person. yesterday my friend was having a hard time but couldn’t leave the house because she had to meet a deadline. i bought her a boba tea and had it delivered to her house as a snack. it was expensive and honestly something she could have done herself but i figured it’d be a nice gesture and one thing to make her day less shitty. i want a kinder world. i try to put out what i want the universe to give back in spades to others. idk that’s all anyone probably really wants at the core of it all, right?

87. Do you anger easily?

yes. my mom has really bad anger issues (likely due to her own childhood as a military brat and being 7 out of 9 kids) and it’s a response i learned to emulate from a fairly young age. i learned to get better control of it as i went through school, copying how my peers and older mentors acted. i think i was always very self-aware, although i don’t know how i was trained to be that way, and i knew anger wasn’t the right response. i’d be seething internally but act controlled on the outside, because i knew that was how to get what i wanted/needed. i’ve mastered it at this point except when it comes to certain people who really trigger a specific response, like my brothers. mannn, the fights we get into. 🙃 i’m slow to outward anger (inside, im always angry with one thing or another lol) with colleagues and friends but when it gets to boiling point, i can be pretty vicious with words. this is also why i prefer keeping it under control because i don’t like the feeling of regret that comes when you say something you didn’t really mean, or something you did mean but know you shouldn’t have said out loud. this is also the reason my sister said she could never be friends with me if we weren’t siblings since i’m far more ruthless than what she can stand. i know that! i accept it. 🥲 i’m working on it.

100. What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe in?

hmm. idk really. even my belief of god gets challenged from time to time. probably the one thing i strive to keep believing in despite parts of me also accepting its impossibility, is how people aren’t really gone after death and there’s still a chance to see each other again someday. it’s a necessary coping mechanism for me, and though i equally accept that it can be untrue, i’d rather believe it is. i’d miss people too much if i didn’t, and i don’t think i can bear losing them so permanently. the heartache is too much.

anyway thank you @greens-your-color for the asks! sorry if it got morose. it’s the lack of coffee. 😪

have a good weekend!

[shina913]

Hiii! Only bc we're similar-age married moms + NamKook biased (you have good taste!)

Do you think the scenarios you write in fics will influence the messages you (eventually) deliver to your kids about relationships, safety, consent, intimacy, etc? I'm just now seeing the parallels for me with our tween!

Hello, HLJ 💜 Idk if we hit the jackpot or are in perpetual suffering for choosing to be NamKook biases 🤣 Either way, I'm loving it and I love torturing myself when it comes to those two!

Also--super long answer incoming lol I apologize in advance!

Personally, I'm still working on setting my own boundaries, being more vocal about what I want, how I want it, or what I *don't want. I just lacked the tools growing up so am now trying to find help in doing all that as an adult! It's a great method of self-discovery, especially with therapy!

When I write--and this happens often--I project conversations that I wish I had, things that I should have said, discussions or arguments that I could have pushed for, or actions that I would have taken in my own past and present relationships (romantic or platonic). In fan-fic, there's a lot of wish fulfillment not just for the reader but for the writer as well.

Having said all that, yes absolutely--it affects how I educate my kids re: relationships (platonic or romantic). We always tell them that 'no' qualifies as a complete sentence and that it's perfectly okay to say that when you're not comfortable doing something.

Obviously, there are things that they have to do--like chores and stuff where 'no' is an unacceptable answer 😅

But seriously, I always try to teach my kids to ask first and never presume/assume. If that person says 'no,' then they need to back off. They're allowed to ask why and if that person gives their reason (or sometimes that person won't give one), then they need to respect that.

Teaching them accountability and respecting and setting boundaries is a challenge but I think it's a lesson that is worth repeating over and over until they get it. It's extremely helpful as they get older and not to mention that it goes a long way!

In terms of vocalizing what they want--everyone is different, of course. But my hubs and I create a safe space where it's okay to talk about how they feel and why they're feeling it. And my only hope is that they'll find future relationships where they feel safe enough to do the same.

That's all you can do, really! We have no control over other people and how they react but we can at least teach our kids or equip them so they can deal with these things.

*******

Send me asks! 📩 if you write fic and people can inbox you random-ass questions about your stories, itemized number lists be damned.