#and i just dont know every place in the city
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Sevika fluff alphabet
word count: 2027
________________________________________
A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
- personally, I think she'd often indulge in taking you to the last drop. She often has you propped up on her lap while she laughes at the men gambling away their life savings (she likes to call you her lucky charm)
- honestly, she'd be willing to take you anywhere though. Just as long as everyone knows you're hers. She'll keep a hand in your back pocket as you guys walk around the city and she'll give nasty looks to whatever man decides to even glance your way.
B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
- SHE LOVES YOUUUUU omg.
-she literally admires every part of your body. She would rather choke and die then have to pick a favorite.
- and she LOVESS to pick you up. You think you're too heavy? Don't flatter yourself. Not for her you're not.
C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
- I Hate to be that guy, but I don't think she would be the best at comforting. With words atleast.
-she'll probably give you a nice hug or a pat on the back. But if you start crying, she'll literally freeze and give you an awkward "you alright..?"
-it's not that she doesn't care, she's just bad at showing how much she does care.
D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
- living in a place like Zaun, where the future is so unpredictable and anyone could die at any moment. She just wants keep things in the present and not think about the future.
-If it were up to her, she would take you far away from all they chaos and just grow old together
-but that may never happen. so for now, she just wants to see you alive in the future.
E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
- she's definitely more on the dominant side, she's the one wrapping a hand around your waist in public and mean mugging everyone who dares look at you the wrong way
F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
-if you guys end up fighting, it'd most likely be about her work
-weather it's how long she's gone during the day, or how she always comes back with curs and bruises. You guys always find a way back to eachother
If you're the one who apologizes:
She gives you a stupid ass grin, she knew she was right. She definitely wouldn't rub it in your face or anything. But she will be a bit smug about it
If she's the one to apologize:
-She'll be extremely sheepish, it's almost laughable how she's reduced to a stuttering mess when she's the one apologizing.
-I really dont think she'd be the best with words, so she'd just trap you in a tight hug and mutter an apology into your ear.
-if you don't accept her apology— worse, reject her hug. She'll be so confused and lost, giving you big ol' puppy eyes while she uses her words to express how sorry she is.
G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
-once again, SHE LOVES YOUUUU
-i don't think there's enough words to explain how happy she is to have you.
-sometimes, when the sun is just beginning to rise and she's dreading the long workday ahead of her. shell spend just a little while longer in bed admiring your sleeping frame. shed never admit it, but on mornings like those, she thanks her lucky stars to have you sleeping next to her.
-she was never a religious person, but she thanks god that she has you next to her every night.
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
-she wouldn't hide anything from you, she believes that the only way to have a good relationship is to be fully open and transparent, even if that leads to you a tad bit oversharing.
-there are some details she may not be able to share because of her work. but 9/10 times, shell tell you anyways because she loves you or whatever
I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
-she would NEVER admit it, but you changed her for the better.
-she's definitely gotten soft ever since you guys started dating. getting in less fights with strangers, going out to gamble less.
-just overall spending more time with you, and not in the chaos of Zaun.
J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
-she gets jealous so easily omg. she wont even hesitate to beat up strangers on the street just for looking at you the wrong way.
-god forbid a man tries to FLIRT with you?
-youd have to ask her to stop before she literally killed the poor guy.
-ever since that incident, everyone at the bar knows to stay far away from you.
K iss - Are they a good kisser?
-shes definitely an experienced kisser. she's been with many women before getting with the love of her life (you)
-her kisses are rough, almost always leaving you breathless and desprate for more.
-shell tangle one hand in your hair, and use the other one to pull you closer by the waist URGG
L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
-like i said previously, she's not the best with her words, so shed probably just approach you in the bar after watching (and lokwey stalking) you for a few months and say something like "you and me, this Friday. 5 pm. don't be late" before walking away.
-you'd show up and find her sitting alone at a table with a messy bouquet of flowers in her hand (she picked them herself)
-shed give you the flowers and spend the rest of the night trying to make conversation with a deep blush on her face. (she's such a cutie oml)
M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
-this ones a bit complicated...
-shed love to take you away from that city and propose to you in a gorgeous flower field that goes on for miles.
-but something like that isn't achievable in the current state of the world
-so instead, she stares at you from across the room, dreaming about giving you everything you deserve.
N icknames - What do they call their s/o?
-her lucky charm (like i said before)
-baby
-i don't think shell use a lot of nicknames.. once again, not good with words.
O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
-im telling you right now
-she literally looks like she wants to murder you when shes crushing on you.
-remember when i mentioned her watching you from across the bar? yeah, you spent that time thinking she hated you because of the way she stared at you.
-you literally thought she was going to assault you when she came up to ask you out.
P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
-be prepared to have her constantly brag about you.
-if youre not sitting on her, youre sitting directly next to her with her arm around you.
-shes weird in a way that she wont tell you directly how much she loves you, but she wont shut up about it to everyone else.
Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
-this isnt really an ability, just more of a thing she does
-but i think shed be willing to eat ANYTHING
-its amazing the stuff her stomach can handle.
R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
-she loves to make you happy, but shes so SO nervous.
-she would show up to your house at 2 am with a boquet of flowers in her hand and ask if you want to hang out with her.
-shed take you shopping in topside and if you even look at something twice, shell buy it for you.
-shes lowkey useless when it comes to buying clothes because she thinks everything looks so pretty on you
"should i get the red, or the white one?"
"get both"
"but which one looks better?"
"... both?"
-shes so useless, but shes trying her best.
S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
-i feel like it depends on what kind of goal it is, if its something unrealistic, she would try to gently coax you into something more achievable because shed hate to see you get hurt.
T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
-in the chaos that is her life. you're the only thing that can remain the same. so I think shed prefer to keep routine with you. however, she wouldn't be mad if things changed from time to time, she's happy if you're happy.
U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
-she knows you so well. everything you've mentioned or talked about. even in passing. she's taken a mental note of.
-you could breifly mention how youre into a peice of jewerly or an article of clothing.
-and you'd find it on your bed, tied up with a little bow the next day.
-she wouldn't bring up the gift unless you say something first though, she's js nonchalant like that
V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?
-this woman would lay down her life for you.
-she loves you SOOOOO much
-there's not much more i can say, you're the beginning and end of her life
-and she loves you
W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
hear me out. (slight s2 spoilers)
-no matter how much she pretends to hate jinx, shed bring up adopting her and isha.
-it might sound ridiculous, but shed love to be a mother one day and she basically raised jinx so why not?
-she tried to brush away the idea from her mind
-but the moment she sees you placing bowls of soup Infront of the kids (jinx and isha) reminding them to wait for it to cool down
-she finds herself thinking that she could get used to this.
X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
-shes such a cuddlebig omg
-the moment you guys start cuddling, she wont let go for HOURSSS
-sometimes, shell randomly lay on top of you, full starfish, and fall asleep.
-you have to accept your fate, i fear.
Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
-long answer short?
-she doesnt.
-whenever she leaves for a long time, shell bring a shirt of yours just to smell it and remember it.
-it lowkey sounds creepy, but shes so lonely without you :(
the very moment she gets back, shell pratically jump on you and attack you with cuddles and kisses
-did i mention she loves you?
Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
-SHELL DO ANYTHING FOR YOUUUU
-she loves you (can you tell i ran out of ideas?)
__________________________________
i finished this in one sitting, im so proud :3
requests open
102 notes
·
View notes
Text
Constant Companions Closeup #3: ROT FOR CLOUT
youtube
(also on bandcamp and spotify!)
WHAT'S going on guys, welcome back to another Constant Companions Closeup, the show where we take a DEEP DIVE into what makes these tunes tick! Last episode, we went aaaaaall the way there on Not Quite There, and today, we're making that liggity-line go up up up up up with ROT FOR CLOUT featuring VISUALEYES!! Before we get started, remember to SMASH that like button, SLAM subscribe, and FUCK the bell icon. This week's community challenge: leave your credit card info in the comments! Bet you won't!
(*cough*)
---
I check my notifications way too fucking much. It's a habit I'm trying to curb, and to my credit, I am doing better lately, but being chemically predisposed to dopamine deficiencies has done a number on my ability to go five minutes without checking the funny glowing numbers on my phone. Naturally, I also very much seek more validation than I should from the opinions of strangers yadayadayada yeah that's what the song is about but none of that actually has to do with why I started writing this song in the first place.
Have you ever taken a flight with American Airlines?
This was after waking up at 4 in the morning to fly out of Houston thinking I'd be napping on a couch in Ohio by 2 pm at the latest.
I want to make one thing clear here, and that's that I made this bed for myself. Tucked the sheets in and all. You see, on the rare occasions I fly, I normally take Southwest. Southwest does not overbook flights like a lot of other airlines do, so it's a practice I am mostly unfamiliar with. So, when I received a notification on my phone promising genuinely ridiculous amounts of flight credit money in exchange for taking a slightly later flight, I thought - well, shit! That sounds nice!
This is how they trick you. I didn't really realize I'd been tricked until I was on my second flight of the day, sitting in a middle seat at the very back of the plane, heading from Dallas, a city I don't live in, to Washington, DC, a city I was not trying to get to, staring down the barrel of another flight I was destined to get on that had been delayed like two fucking hours.
I became the Joker. All I could do to remain sane was write a song about it. This is how ROT FOR CLOUT came to be.
I guess the moral of the story is this: Don't go to Ohio. And to answer your question,
Yes I am
Not really
No
---
This is a complete sidenote but I want to mention it here: I'm genuinely overjoyed at the amount of people excitedly talking about my songwriting or the intention behind my lyrics. For a long time, it really felt like lyricism was the last thing people cared about from me, while it was always the thing I wanted to take pride in the most... So genuinely, thank you everyone for caring!! Every single fire emoji people have put next to a line I've written has extended my lifespan by multiple years
There's a brief little moment where the song's chords leave the key, doing a really stereotypically jazzy 2-5 movement, and it's one of my favorite parts of the entire song. I'm not really a music theory buff or anything, and I'm certainly not formally trained, but I've always been very passionate about more complicated harmony in otherwise poppy and accessible contexts - bo en's album pale machine really rewrote my brain when I first heard it.
On that note, there are microtones in the vocal melody - During the chorus, some of the rapidly repeated words move up in quarter tones! Possibly the simplest way I could've included microtonality, but I'm genuinely afraid if I learn more than what I already know about it I'll be lost to the darkness.
Obviously, the work of Sasuke Haraguchi was a massive influence on this song, particularly the song Igaku. I think basically everyone on the entire planet has picked up on that at this point, but I do also wanna point out some other songs that were on my mind at the time! (two for three on these posts mentioning louis cole now)
I'd also like to take a moment to spotlight the vocal samples on this! They previously appeared on エビチャーハン!, and they've honestly become some of my favorite samples to throw in things. They're also just a fucking goldmine sincerely
Finally, HUGE thanks to Visualeyes for the delightful synth solo on this!! I had put out a call on Twitter looking for instrumentalists, genuinely originally envisioning a super jazzy piano solo, but their synth playing genuinely brought the whole song together perfectly!
That's about it for this song - though again, if there are any more questions people have, I'd be happy to answer them in the replies to this post or elsewhere!! (*ahem*) THAT'S gonna do it for today's video, folks! Feel free to leave a like, comment, hit the subscribe button for more and click the bell so you don't miss any new videos. Tomorrow? I Wish That I Could Fall. it hurts.
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Who are you. How did you get out of prison in the first place im wondering?
they let me out. People like me Emma. They tend to turn a blind eye to the bad things i do.
why? Because theres not enough evidence to convict of anything. Orbthe witnesses died mysteriously. The one police officer said you know every killer in this city personally. I dont associate with that type of person in this city. Or any city. I read about you people or see you in movies or on tv. I dont sleep with you. I had no idea your problems were this big and bad.
too late there. Ha ha ha.
You think everythings funny i get that.
No i dont. I just have to laugh. And yeah i know people but fo you thnk id really be hrre if i fid yhe things people i sell drugs to do in this town? Who do you yhonk buys the drugs. Nit kids not lil girks not the people here i have the good dtudff i deal with hardened criminals. I am not one myself. I have had yo defend myself and my friends once or teice thats it.
what and someone died. And your a good drug dealer. What you just said makes it eorse. You know the difference between right and wrong yiu just font give a fuck for money. Maybe you dont sell to anyone here maybe you do from what i heard.
hardened criminals.
i feel bad for you. Worse than i do for those hardened criminals. A lot if yhrm vome from horrible backgrounds. Youre the eorse person who is organized with otber lazy spoiked rich kids out in south eindsor who youve corrupted into growing and hiding and selling stugs for you everywhere. Where do uou yhink those drugs go after you sell large smounts of them yo those poor people? To tye people im trying to help. Oh my God im do stupid. I have horrible taste in nen its yhe only real oroblem i have. I asked other people. Youre dudlected of cold blooded murder you are an expert car thief and break and enter artist. Youre violent. Youre sn armed robber. An gun smuggler with vonnections in Michigan God what else font i know?
no secmxusl charges. No reallybweird shit or eoman abuse or pimping. And im ex all these things by the way if its even true. Never been proved.
youre sn asshole.
yeah but i maje tou laugh and cum and im funny.
so what thats a two week affair. Now i see you are the reason i do this and that is not good. Get out of ky office. I dont want you comng near ne. Yiull see Jasper now concrrning your file. Hes gonna love you.
not like you do though.
i dont live you infuckn hate you.
thats ehat they all say. But ya dont. Ya hate life.
emma stone
87 notes
·
View notes
Text
ended up at a poetry reading alone (my friend had to cancel last minute) and I am terrified and excited! I dont think I'll ever get over this, but idk if I want to
#i do need to become more open about sharing my poetry (with my family but tbf i found out about this one three hours ago)#I've been wanting to get more involved with local poetry circles but its hard bc I'm across the world for most of the year#and i just dont know every place in the city#the only real iffy thing are my poems (unedited) but there's something so interesting about changing up what i want on the fly idk#also! I've been doing more things alone this summer bc i always feel like a scared dog lmao#and im still shaking but I at least know i can do things without imploding
1 note
·
View note
Text
The Khans - My Introspective
I don't like the Military and I don't support a lot of the actions the NCR does to the Mojave in New Vegas but in terms of the Khans I feel like the fandom infantilizes or diminishes the fact that they are or at least one of the most violent raider groups in the Mojave.
What happened at Bitter Springs was a tragedy, innocent lives were lost and the fact that the NCR swept it under the rug and continued to hunt down Khans that are truly trying to back down and resettle is horrendous, but there is a history to the NCR's aggression towards them.
The Khans first appear in Fallout 1, the main faction of raiders in the game besides the mentioned Vipers (who don't actually appear if I remember correctly). They came from Vault 15 along with the members that would form rival groups; The Vipers, The Jackals, and Shady Sands. They are a very large and foreboding raiding party, known for burning towns and encampments they attack and taking survivors as their slaves or slaves to sell. They are a big reason why the Jackals and Vipers are actually so small in New Vegas, they wiped them out.
Their main targets where Shady Sands and Junker town, the former of the two would be what became The New California Republic. This explains a big part of their animosity towards the Khans, only furthered by the fact the Khans kidnapped Tandi as a young girl, the girl that would go to offically found the NCR out of Shady Sands. When the dweller saved her and killed much of the Khans, this allowed the NCR to develop into what it currently is as they no longer needed to focus on fighting off constant raids.
When the Khans became the New Khans in Fallout 2, they barely resembled the Khans as they were led by Darion, Garl Death-Hand's son (former leader of the Khans). They were smaller and refortified vault 15, still planning to take down the NCR (at this time nowhere near as imperialist as they are in FNV) as mostly a revenge/power ploy. They manipulate The Squat, a group of y'know squatters, that lived in the upper levels, promising and lying about repairing the vault and offering them ransacked caravan resources if they kept the NCR away. Being their only life line The Squat had no choice. Still the chosen one got rid of them and they left New California for the untapped Mojave.
The Great Khans, the most current iteration, continued in the path as the original Khans, regrouping and gaining information from the Followers who hoped they'd use their new medical knowledge to heal themselves. They gained more members and a substantial part of Vegas territory before they were run out by the three families. They were pushed to Bitter Springs where they first and foremost continued to pick off and attack NCR settlements, most of which consisted of caravans, towns, and camps as they saw them as easy like in their old days. It was the killing of four influential Republic members (non-military) that brought on Bitter Springs.
Bitter Springs was the result of years of hatred and animosity and likely the goal to send a final message to the Khans. It does not excuse the fact that innocent men, women, and children were slaughtered with few survivors. It does not excuse the fact that the NCR has yet to make amends for this and continues to try and persecute the Khans even in moments of surrender.
This post is not to defend what happened but to give a quick rundown of the Khan's history and their history with the NCR. It's to remind people that the NCR is not just their military power but an actual group/settlement of people that were also attacked indiscriminately by the Khans. It's to point out that the Khans were not a band of indigenous people (no matter the comparisons) driven from their homes but raiders who fed into the brutal cultures of the west coast wasteland and were in turn treated to the same things.
My frustration comes from the fact that FNV has so many comparisons to indigenous struggles but the groups it chooses are not comparable at all. Their oppression hinges on not being familiar with their past, which explains why they have the reputation they do in canon. The "tribes" are often not even groups of minorities or have goals/desires out of acquisitions of power and I feel like it is important to both acknowledge that this is bad indigenous rep because it is not supposed to be. It is supposed to be a comparison of the in-game groups and how they all do the same things and justify it in their own fucked up ways, some better at it than others.
FNV of all the Fallout games (in light of it being heavily Western based) distastefully uses indigenous imagery and theming for groups that are sad mimicries of American indigenous cultures at best and outright offensive at worst.
#this is also to say the NCR is barely different but they imply New California is a city and safe and that once the NCR military leaves#they will properly try to settle and revitalize the area unlike the goals of almost every other group#the issues arise from the tensions of the hoover dam battles the legion and the corrupt leaders chosen in what is a terse time#but the khans are interesting to me and I like the named khans we have in FNV but they are treated to be almost innocent at points due to#all the Ls they keep taking despite admitting to their raider roots and being PROUD#they partnered with the Legion and before i hear they didnt know they were slavers at a point too and likely didnt care if they believed it#would not affec their own. the Mojave is an unforgivnig place and sometimes you make unforgivable alliances since they alienated all their#other options through their continued and consistent behaviors#like i could go on how bad the native rep is but I would not use any of the tribes cause they barely count the only difference from the NCR#is they organize themself differtently like id use the tribes in Honest Hearts cause holy shit is it bad and racist like at least the Mojav#tribes are just white dickheads brutalizing each other and not the characatures of native people the Sorrows Dead Horse and White legs are#like yikes I hated playing white savior the dlc#this is also semi personal because i dont see a lot of POC people in the fandom talking about the Khans and so I dont know if the proper#perspectives can be added because just because something can represent a culture or group doesn't mean it does or that it was the primary#thing they were trying to get across#like feel free to ask and talk to me more about it cause grrr#fallout#fallout new vegas#the great khans#the khans#new california republic#the ncr#fallout 1#fallout 2#papa khan
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
being homesick and changing as a person so much the place you grew up in isn't your home anymore is such a core part of ati and upon further inspection i think i was projecting a little
#like yea that is a very common basic thing that happens to a lot if not most adults#but also i think i get homesick a bit too easy#when i moved away from home i moved to the closest big city that's only an hour away and i was already deeply familiar with it#but i was so sad despite knowing i personally could never thrive in my hometown#i wanted to experience the big city but it was so scary and it still is and i miss the comforts of my hometown but it's not just me that#has changed#dont get me wrong i wouldnt move back bc i have hobbies and friends and a job and most likely a career in the city i live in#and this truly is a place i don't think i could ever move away from. unless it is to a neighboring city#it's so hard for me to imagine there are people who move not just across the country but a completely different country and they just. adap#i could never. i was visiting my hometown every week for like the first year i lived here#i eventually want to move to a bigger apartment and ive been looking at places already even tho i need to graduate before doing that#and i'm. getting homesick just thinking about moving to a different part of the city.#i like the area i live in. i like the cornerstore and the distance to the closest grocery stores and parks#i like how my grandma used to live in this area when she was around my age#i'm not good with change and i know it but there are several things about moving that make me miserable#like yeah obviously i will move out from my single bedroom apartment when i can and i'll be so happy and it'll be good for me#but despite having lived here for only a bit more than 4 years i'll miss this apartment. i have so many good memories from here and i'll#never be able to visit it again and have it feel the same#but that's the least sad thing imo. i dread being in a different area more lmao#but it's fine i know i'll adapt as long as i don't have to move to a different city ever again gfsahgak#idk ive had a long day and im feeling a bit melancholic#i'll sleep in tomorrow >:3c#leevi talks
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Like, what do normal people do when their bank is in the negatives twice a month for car bills, you've been consistently applying and interviewing places that you have multiple people on the inside putting a good word in for me, and haven't sold more than $10 worth of my art in 4 months. What is the next step.
#im beyond burnt out on listing stuff on kofi and decided before moving to the bad roommate sitch that i wouldnt continue#i dont know what else to do and ive been stuck in this position of applyijg and interviewing for over a fucking year#im so tired#and no one wants me besides underpaid understaffed food places#if i had not gone to school and graduated i would be able to go to school for a BA in this state#but i already have one#so i cant and cant access any easy work study jobs that would further connect me to other shit#my favorite is telling people i have an education degree and then saying How Easy it would be to Teach#and i just cant dude. im barely functional as it is and cannot mirror good habits to kids bc im constantly having a panic attack in schools#it was before i was medicated but i went out of my way to sub at every single school in my city in texas#and really double no triple checked that i didnt like this profession no matter the grade level no matter the subject i just cant do it#but when its in your transcripts every social worker and dvr counselor looks @ u w the fluoride stare like theyre abt to change ur life#telling u that u can teach like i hadnt ever fucking thought of it#vent
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
✧˖°.
#honestly why would anyone ever want me as a gf#i was stupid for getting my hopes up and it's my own fault#i shouldnt have been banking on smth and hoping on it when it was never even outspoken#it hurts a lot and it will take me a long time to move past it tho it just is that way#but like for almost a year i've been thinking abt only that and him every single day#and now i know that it'll never happen and those feelings will never go anywhere#but yeah idk i've never been able to feel like i'd ever have a place in this world.. and i hoped...#well. thats only my problem.. but well i dont know#i just feel so so so so so lonely and i just dont have anyone i dont have anyone#and i hve to move soon or im gonna end up homeless bc my mom's leaving me too#everyone leaves me behind to be all alone and i just dont know how to even want to go on when all always be alone#idk it makes me feel insane when i have to move to a new city away from my mom when my mom's the only one in my life#what am i supposed to do when im actually all alone#and it isnt that easy for me. it's hard for everyone but for me with avpd it is even harder#idk i just held on to that future everyday for 10 months it was the only comfort i had and the only thing i wanted#idk how to let go of it bc theres nothing else i want T-T#and it does .. trigger all my bpd feelings bc i#am abandoned and left and unimportant and idk i just will never ever be the one person for anyone and it just#sucks and hurts so much :(((((
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
transitioning as a gay trans guy is fun because in my experience being harassed by people in cars increases in frequency and the people doing so have a different but equally scary intent when they yell shit at you
#like ive been catcalled numerous times pre and early in my transition and its scary#but good lord#its not necessarily scarier but its a different and newer (to me) kind of scary#and it happens more frequently now which means im afraid every time i walk down the street whether it has happened that day or not#it happens everywhere like the town + city i primarily live in now is pretty progressive in comparison to every other place ive lived but#it is still all the time there. and when i first moved i was like wow i feel safe here and people dont harass me thats crazy#and i dont know if its that im like more visibly a gay man now or that shit has been getting crazy in the world but#it sucks to just not be able to exist outside#sorry im just tired of the world right now#bug talks#homophobia#ask to tag
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
also this is spoilers but i saw this on reddit and now i must scream about it sooooo spoilers for the end of wyll's romance maybe idk
okay tbh i cant confirm if this is true cuz i havent even beaten the game yet HA but people wouldnt lie on the internet right.... but anyways i saw that someone said one of wyll's romance endings is that he becomes a duke and you guys get MARRIED omg... and it has been on my mind all day and now im having very intense aza/wyll thoughts but mostly aza though aha
listen. just. just listen. okay. picturing aza going from a painfully awkward and socially inept crypt keeper living underground among the dwarves and the deceased, to the wife of the charismatic, renowned grand duke of baldur's gate, UGH. learning to socialize properly with nobility, learning how to maintain small talk, adjusting to the sheer size of their estate, free of cold drafts and water leaks. and the SUNLIGHT? the way it shines through the windows every morning, to remind her another day has come? and how much more comfortable the beds are when they're made of fur and feathers, not stone. and the way she's obviously very out of place, especially as a tiefling living among the upper echelon of baldur's gate, i'm sure she sticks out like a sore thumb. i'm sure she's turned lots of heads while incessantly infodumping about the best way to preserve a dead body, not yet understanding that nobility often aren't fixated on such things the same way she is lol. she's still a little weird and unsettling and unsure of how to handle herself in such a new environment, but hey... it's a lot more fun learning the nuance of courtly dance than it is trying to get a wriggly tadpole out of your head! she'll take the fright of social anxiety over that any day.
anyways. dies
#bg3 spoilers#off topic but i wish bg3 wouldnt force your character to be baldurian#because i created aza with my friend for his dnd campaign and shes not from baldurs gate! shes from a place called understone#which is a dwarven city. idk if thats a 'canon' dnd city or a city my friend made up but#aza was raised among the dwarves. her father was a dwarf who adopted her named fodmock thunderbeard#he was the crypt keeper of the city of understone before passing away. then aza took over#and obviously i dont expect bg3 to get every detail on my oc's backstory right dafhjoiarejgfiretg but there could be something more yk#than forcing your characters to be from bg! like even really vague options i would be satisfied with#if anything id like really vague options more bc it could act as a guidance for new players who struggle w coming up w backstories#like me lol#idk i just think thats a weird oversight! so let it be known aza doesnt know shit about the city#aza is the equivalence of a country girl in my heart. shes like the breanna of my bg3 universe#very silly and very very autistic
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey *takes what was supposed to be just a visualization in case i ever wanted to draw overhallidays place in the future and then spends 4 hours on it
#📗 my post#🧯 overhalliday (s/i)#yeah ummm yeahn . hey . theres a lot in here let me divulge in the tags#hes supposed to live in like a town thats pretty Scrunched In with buildings kind of surrounding the place so the debug building behind#is supposed to mimic the back alley area that he uses for all his scraps && parts. really id imagine at some point he put a tarp over it#so metal doesnt rust && whatnot . but theres not really a way to do that i think in the sims#the bathroom being right where the stairs are is both a) bc i wrote that in a fic b) sometimes houses are dumb okay we cant all win#there isnt an operating table apparently?? so im using a lounge chair as a stand in and honestly it works well#really if i wanted to i wouldve added like soo much more clutter because he is. not the most organized#ftr i think like every sims bed has a headboard and he DOES NOT have that hes got a bed frame and a mattress that is IT!!!#^ not every sims one . the ones that dont talks abt...bed bugs. which . ew#and for the record also i think his place is only unique in the sense that you walk in and theres a workshop . exterior wise theres#probably like a bunchhh that look the same as youre walking down . all scrunched together#i actually donthave a set place in mind that he lives i just know its like. a Town#a town that doesnt have a hardware store . so he takes a train if he ever needs supplies & it takes abt 10 minutes to get to the city#so hes not like. Cut Off per se but the locals definitely know his deal enough#idk looking at it and imagining a bunch side by side makes me think of likee. like. norway? <- my biases it was like the 2nd thing i google#it would be nice to live by a bunch of water#but also im . i dont know anything abt architecture this very easily could read as somewhere in america or something like that#idk but in my head it snows a lot there thats like all i have thought out
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Really trying to get better at buying things on sale and with coupons but I have almost zero idea how much these things cost when compared to other things and I just can not retain this knowledge no matter how hard I try rip
#like i can compare when theyre shelved next to each other in the store but after that nothing#even people commenting about prices of things in convo i cant tell if theyre saying its a good or bad price rip#why cant i just trust that a coupon or sale is gonna net me the best deal and go on from there#liek obvs i know a lot of place raise prices before sales but im talking like every day items where thats harder (? i think) to do that reg#the only prices ive somewhat retained are things i regularly buy by themselves which isnt actually much#like i know water bottles at cons or other Events are $3 and at little craft shows or city festivals theyre like $1 but i dont know much#between and then redbull at gas stations is like 2.75#and i sorta know the price for the little toys i buy but even then theres so many now and they used to be like $5 so even though i know#theyre more i still get a bit of a surprise sometimes when i blindly grab them#and yes i know this makes me sound snotty and privileged and that i am/have been very privileged to not Have to know this info#dont mind me#tag rambles
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
it’s june
there was snow on the ground up in the woods and we had a thunderstorm roll in
and the river was. so high. Like, it was high last year, when we opened a month earlier than we usually do, because there wasnt a ton of snow blocking us from getting up there. And this year. Two months later than last year. Almost the same amount of snow still on the ground and there’s four downed trees in the river front of dad’s cabin and the river’s so high we thought the stone cabin already put the boards back in the dam to raise the water and just
...it’s nice since. multi-year drought but. this is not normal
#Poisonhemloc’s rambles#we usually can get up there to open the place in may#its closed down and winterized end of october til may cause you cant get in unless you have snowmobiles and know right where to go#went up to open it and get measurements to make the deck not splinter city and. just wow#...we had two deaths in the rivers out here already this season. we'll probably have more if people dont stay out.#every other billboard is a 'stay tf out of the water rn or you're next'#ask to tag but i needed to ramble a bit
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
im listening to the audiobook for making money (ive read the book but it was a couple years ago now) and my review is that the antagonists for this book are my least favorite out of all of the city books ive read. they completely lack charm and theyre mostly just horribly annoying
#plus some of the later books (most books post-thud) dont really catch my attention like the others do....#my reasoning for this is that most of the interesting dynamics are removed by that point#and it comes down more to a good main character plus a good antag and a whimsical plot#which is alright but not what made me fall in love w the books in the first place#i think maybe im just a fan of the city watch 🥲 every time one of them shows up im like YAYYYY ITS MY GUYS#angua and vimes and carrot in particular get this reaction but the occasional cheery makes me soo happy#i really do need to bite the bullet and speedread through raising steam . and just get it over with#sam.txt#discposting#moist is just such a showstopping character he has so much going on he can run a plot by himself#he barely needs an antagonist. however i do love the dynamic between him and spike#because. well. theyre vv adjacent#vetinari is another who is VERY charming on his own but he does need vimes to have true interesting development#ohhj... (dawning realization) the early city watch books are good bc theyre introducing crazy relationships#and the later books have phased out the more complex stuff. so less insane vetvimes moments#and zero carrot/angua stuff#SAD!!!!#im hiding all this in the tags bc i dont feel like stating my opinions directly#i dont know exactly how unpopular these opinions are but i do know that my opinions are not widely held
1 note
·
View note
Text
See like, one thing most people outside of the Midwest don't understand is just how much Midwesterners put into Ope, and how polite we are. Like, at my old job (cross country) I said Ope because I walked into a desk and a coworker from NY yelled "That's actually a thing!?!?"
Something that I find funny is that most Americans don't know the layers of politeness to Midwesterners. We can be as complicated as high society or be as simple as media protrays us.
Another thing that most big town and up people don't understand is that there's words specific to some regions. I grew up in a small farming town that used Ho dunk, another town I lived in had Po dunk. The first town also used Rinky Dink but the second didn't have it or anything similar to it.
Word phrasing and intonation is also important here, because Midwesterners have mastered the art of being polite while insulting you. Depending on the context, having your home being called Rinky Dink can mean that it's quaint or you're being passively called trailer trash. Calling a strangers house Ho dunk? Straight up rude. But calling a friend house Ho dunk? You're friends and their house is your house so they won't make an effort to clean. Unless you're saying it behind their back and to someone else, then it's a stab in the back.
If you're at a house were you don't know the people all that well it's polite to say "Welp, s'ppose I should head out now" and slap your knees then stand up while saying it, after the event ended, and spend less than 5 minutes of goodbyes. Good friends are less than 10.
Close friends and family can spend up to 40 minutes saying goodbye, but 30 is the comfortable amount. If the guest stands up then the host should stand up to. If the host don't stand when you do, you're either very close friends/siblings and more than likely has keys to house or know how to get in, or the host just don't like you.
Being neighbors is another thing entirely, because it's a 'you scratch my back I scratch yours' type of situation. They mow your lawn after doing theirs? Send over a food item or do another chore for them. You are sick and they haven't seen you in awhile? Boom, concerned neighbors wishing you well.
Lost pets? Time to wrangle that dog/cat and wait on the curb for your owners! My grocery shopping can wait. Or even 'Hey, I just drove back into town on that road, tell your [family or friend that uses that road] to be careful!' and you only see that person like once a week.
If you think a (rural) Midwesterner doesnt like you, here's some ways to tell if they do: They dont apologize or excuse themselves when walking past you in an aisle. They stay seated during goodbyes. They don't try to catch up with you but catch up with others. They don't do small favors without being asked to do so.
But I'm also from central Midwest and grew up in small farming towns, and spent more time living in villages (less than a 1,000~ people) than I have cities. Where I live rn is so small and far away that there aren't any public transport, and I can walk from one end of the town to the other in like 20 minutes or less. The closest Walmart is 2 towns over and 30 minutes going 80 mph (128 km).
If you read all of that, the you're a nerd :)
Go drink water, eat, and sleep. Nerd.
Clark Kent, trying to leave a gala he’s covering: Ope, just gonna squeeze right past you.
Bruce Wayne, who heard Superman say the same thing at a Justice League meeting that morning: No fucking way
#midwest#idk how this happened#i was talking about superman and then this happened#listen#ive had so many excoworkers annoy my midwestern sensibilities#its a reflex#people from towns with downtown building taller than 2 floors intimidate me#why do you need so many highrises#do you not like watching the sun rise and fall from your bedroom?#its just wild to me that there are people who dont even know what the night sky actually looks like#i can walk out my frlnt door and see every constellation becuase theres so few street lamps#do big city folk know what an elevator is?#do they know how to read the weather by tasting the air?#can they read a weather map??#do big city folk know to stay off the gravel roads unless they know the area?#everytime I see a city kid come here I and everyone else get concerned for their well being#because the Midwest is not a place you want to get lost in#if youre in the backroads and your car breaks down#youre fucked bud#good luck
39K notes
·
View notes