#and i hope they know that i'm losing my mind over it

[theereina]

Big Mama Pt. 7

Pairing: Terry Richmond x Plus Size Fem Black!OC

Wordcount: +3.7K

Warnings: MDNI (18+) mature content, such as cursing, teasing, heavily dialogue-centered, use of pet names (Daddy, Mama, lil' mama, pretty girl, good boy, etc.), P in V, oral (male receiving), Dom!Terry, breeding kink, spanking, bondage, degradation, rough sex, slight fluff at the end

A/N: I don't know how many parts there will be. However, I'm open to critiques. I am a little 🤏🏽 sensitive about my writing. Please, don't be too harsh.🥺 Feel free to bring my attention to any typos. Divider by ME (theereina). Also, this work is not to be plagiarized or reposted (on any site other than here on Tumblr). I do NOT give consent for any form of republishing or rewriting.

Big Mama Pt. 1 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 2 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 3 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 4 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 5 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 6 => 🦋

*Masterlist: 🔥🔥🔥

“Get up!” Terry said grabbing my arm. “Ow!” I whined. “Shut the fuck up! You gone have something to cry for soon,” he said looking down at me. We were chest to chest, and the side of my hip was pressed against the dining table. The sexual tension was becoming more and more unbearable as Terry's eyes burned into mine. “Just remember I love you, kitten,” he said leaning into my ear. His gaze darkened with lust and became penetrating and menacing.

It was as if Terry could see right through me. I fiddled with my hands while my gaze fell to the ground. “What's wrong, kitten? Are you nervous? Huh?” he asked lifting my chin to meet his gaze. I looked away quickly. I was unsure of how to answer that. I was slightly nervous but wasn't about to let him know.

“No, sir,” I said locking eyes with him. “Good. I don't want you to be nervous.— I want you to be fuckin' terrified,” he said pushing me onto the kitchen table, so I was flat on my back. He leaned over me and snatched the tie from the curtains. “Don't fuckin' move!” he yelled as he grabbed my hands. He tied the rope around my wrists with my palms together.

Terry’s hands moved through the side slit of my dress. Locating my panties, I felt his fingers loop around the seat of the fabric. “Y’know… I honestly don't understand why you still wear’em. I’m just gonna rip… them off!” he said snatching them from my body. The sound of the fabric ripping was deafening as it coursed through my eardrums. The kitchen table slammed into the wall forcefully.

The level of excitement and arousal I was experiencing was astronomical. I couldn't think of anything that would ever top this. His dick hadn't even touched me yet, and I was losing my mind. The heightened intensity of Terry's aggression was animalistic in nature, provoking a craving I had never felt. My heart was pounding, my skin was tingling, and my pussy was throbbing uncontrollably. He was tha much closer to fully unleashing the fervid beast within him. I was really about to let this man do whatever the fuck he wanted to me— no holds barred.

Before I could react, I was tossed over Terry’s shoulder. His arm looped around my waist as he carried me with no effort. My bound hands were hitting the back of Terry’s legs as he ascended the stairs. “Terry!” I whimpered. “Ye… What did you just call me?” Terry snapped as his movements ceased. We were positioned at the top of the stairs.

“That's not my name. You know better,” Terry said placing me on my feet before him. I staggered before regaining my balance. “Sorry— ,” I said taking a deep breath. “So, you're gonna refuse to say it? Is that what we're doing? Oh, I hope you know… I honestly do. You're asking for it, baby!” Terry said stepping closer to me. “I don't deserve respect. Is that what your tellin' me? You don't respect me?” Terry asked grabbing my chin. “Look at me when I'm talkin' to you!” Terry yelled. “Sorry—. Sorry, Daddy. I won't do it again,” I said looking Terry directly in the eyes. “Oh, that's not gonna work. On your knees, then apologize!” Terry said snapping at the floor. From that move alone, I didn't know whether I was shocked, offended, or turned on.

I looked down at the floor. I balanced my hands in front of me before slowly getting on my knees. I rested my weight on my calves and held my hands in my lap. “I'm sorry, Daddy. Forgive me for not calling you by your proper name,” I said letting my gaze linger on Terry's feet. “Unfortunately, apologies mean nothing to me. Actions speak louder than words. Let's go!” Terry said snatching me up by my arm.

He pulled me towards the open door of the master bedroom. He was practically dragging me in. He turned towards me and looped his arm around my waist., pushing me towards the bed. I sat at the foot of the bed and anxiously watched Terry's every move. He leaned over me, bringing his mouth to my ear. His hands fumbled with the knots that secured the rope around my wrists. “Strip,” he rumbled through gritted teeth.

I flexed my freed wrists as I slowly pushed the top of my dress down. The fabric bundled up around my hips like a cloud. Terry's eyes fell to my breasts. I lifted my hips to push the dress off and onto the floor. “This is your last chance to back out. Whatchu gone do, huh? I'm not gonna force you. If you're scared, let me know now,” he said standing to his full height. I held my breath as I struggled to formulate an answer. Unfortunately for me, my mouth was still in brat mode.

“Do I look scared? Or, are you just too weak to finish what you started? Don't use me as an excuse,” I said looking under my lashes at Terry. His stance stiffened as he began clenching and unclenching his fists. I watched his hands intently. I knew he wanted to hem my thick ass up.

Terry's face was obscure of emotions, almost indecipherable. I couldn't tell if he was pissed or impressed. He closed his eyes slowly and released a silent breath. His head rolled on his shoulders as if he was loosening up. I pulled my legs under me and began scooting back on the bed. Yeah, I fucked up. Terry's eyes opened and his irises had darkened to bronze. Shit! A menacing smirk spread across his face. All pretenses of softness and kindness were no longer present. “Terry” was gone.

Terry walked away and stepped into the closet. I could hear him searching through bags. He reappeared with two sets of handcuffs. Without saying a word, he used one hand and grabbed both of mine. He pulled me by arms and up to the headboard. He leaned over me and handcuffed me to it. Each hand outstretched away from me and restricting my movements. Terry pulled my body up slightly so my back was against the headboard. I was positioned in a t-pose.

He stood up beside the bed, looking down at me. “You look so pretty when you're scared, Mama. Too fuckin' pretty, honestly. Those lips, eyes, and this body do something to me. Something so carnal that I don't think I'll ever get enough of you,” he said rubbing his hands up and down my body. Soft, firm squeezes followed his gentle caresses. “Too bad, though. ‘Cause tonight I want you sloppy, disgusting, nasty even,” he said kissing my lips. I let out a small moan as I was being sucked into this fantasy, so quickly and so intensely.

Terry's hands moved down to my thighs and rubbed slowly. His hand slipped between my legs. The tips of his fingers grazed the lips of my pussy. I was beginning to squirm under his touch. “Please, do something. Anything!” I whimpered. Terry's eyes slowly rose to meet mine. He laughed at my begging. “You're gonna wish you neva said that,” he said as he climbed onto the bed. His legs rested on each side of my waist so he was straddling me.

“Look at me,” he said lifting my chin. He pushed the pillows between my back and the headboard before moving up a little more so that he was right in front of me. I was at eye level with his dick print. “I want you paralyzed by the end of the night. I want your throat sore, pussy swollen, and ass stinging. Since you like talkin' back, let's start with that throat,” Terry said unbuckling his belt and undoing his pants. Naked and afraid was an understatement for how I was feeling.

He pulled down his pants and boxers altogether so they were resting on his thighs. His dick was already hard as a brick. His enjoyment was evident from the amount of precum leaking from his tip. “Open!” Terry barked. My eyes tracked the movements of his dick, swaying in my face.

I opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue while making eye contact with Terry. He placed his hand at the base of his dick and began rubbing it across my tongue. I could feel his precum dripping on my tongue. “You don't even realize what I'm about to do to you,” he said pushing his entire dick into my mouth without warning. I gagged around him. “Unh unh, what you gaggin’ for? You don't remember what you did that night? Why can't you handle this dick now?” Terry said fucking my mouth. My head was pressed against the headboard as he used me. Spit bubbles were forming as drool pooled from the corners of my mouth.

He was using my mouth like a pussy. I would probably be drowning in my saliva if I wasn’t sitting up. I wanted to smile so bad, but his dick was starting to hit the back of my throat with force. I moaned around his dick and slurped up the spit seeping from the corners of my mouth. “Oh, you like this. Don't you, you nasty bitch!” Terry said smiling down at me. His hand snaked around the back of my head, acting as a barrier between my head and the headboard.

Unbeknownst to me, he was locking me into a fixed position. He placed his other hand on the wall above the bed. Using this position as leverage, Terry's thrust grew harder. I couldn't move my head even if I wanted to. THIS WAS THE EPITOME OF FACE FUCKING. I opened my mouth wider and began breathing through my nose. I relaxed my throat as much as possible, but it was getting hard. Terry's head fell back. The grunts and moans he let out were fueling me to keep going. I had never heard Terry's moans become this deep— not even the first night.

Tears were falling from my eyes as I clamped them shut. I was taking this shit like a fuckin' champ. Terry pulled back a little to release his dick from my mouth, causing me to gasp for air. “Spit and breathe,” Terry ordered. I opened my mouth, letting all of his precum and my saliva fall from my mouth. “Good girl. Don't relax, yet. I'm not done wit’ you yet,” he said pushing his dick back in.

Terry was keeping his promise. My throat was getting sorer the more he thrust. That's when I realized what he did. He wasn't giving me a fuckin' breather or break; he was edging himself so that he could keep going. This man really was a monster!

“Oh, you can handle it. Right, Big Mama?” he laughed. The look he was giving me was so devious. He knew what the fuck he was doing. I clenched my fists, tugging at the cuffs. His thrusts slowed, and his hips stiffened. He grabbed the hair at the back of my head. He yanked my head back and pulled out. He palmed his dick, aiming it at my open mouth. His cum spewed out in milky ropes. It landed on my tongue and lower face. “That's it, baby. Nasty just how I like it,” Terry groaned rubbing his dick through his cum and smearing it all over my face.

Terry slid back from me and got off the bed. He stood on the side of the bed and finished undressing himself. I took full advantage of this break to recollect myself. Terry turned back to face me and undid the cuffs. He placed them on the nightstand. Turning away from me, he grabbed my ankle and pulled me to the center of the bed. I gasped in shock. What the hell was he about to do now?

“Turn over and arch!” Terry demanded. I turned over and arched my ass in the air. “I can't wait to see what you look like after this,” he said palming my ass. Getting back onto the bed, Terry positioned himself behind me. I was still a bit confused by Terry's statement. What did he mean by that?

Before I could finish my thoughts, Terry's hand came down on my left ass cheek.

smack

“Shit! No warning, Daddy?” I whimpered. “What for? There's nothing you can't handle, remember?” Terry mocked. He was definitely about to make me eat my words.

smack

“Sorry, two!” I yelled looking back at Terry. He scoffed at me. “Fuck you countin’ for? I'm not stoppin’ ‘til I'm tired,” Terry laughed. I know that fear was etched on my face, but there wasn’t anything I could do but take it.

smack

Over 20 smacks later

Terry was unleashing hell with every hit, causing me to lose count. Honestly, he was right. There was no point in counting. So when I got to 23, I stopped. I was too far gone to remember or focus, and maybe he knew I would be.

My face was in the sheets, and my tears were creating a wet spot beneath me. “You done talkin' shit, or do we need to keep goin’?” he asked. “No, I'm sorry!” I begged. “That's what the fuck I thought!” Terry grunted back.

The entire time he was spanking me his dick was pressed against my ass and pussy. I could feel every movement he made, no matter how small. He was definitely getting off on this, and so was I. As much as I was enjoying this, I wanted Terry inside me. NOW! I needed him. I felt like I was on fire. If you told me I would find pleasure in getting my ass beat, I wouldn't have believed a word you said. This was different— a good different. A different I could get used to.

I was in my head when I felt Terry's hands in my hair again. “Hey, do you hear me talkin' to you?” he snapped. Fuck! I had no clue what this man had said to me. Pleasure had taken over, and I had dissociated for a moment. “Sorry,” I whimpered out. “Breathe. I need you alive. You can die on your own time,” he said. I could literally hear him smiling.

I looked back over my shoulder with my eyebrows knitted together. “Fix your face, or do I need to?” he asked rubbing his hands all over my ass. He drew his hand back. “No!” I screamed, pushing away.“Aww, look at you! Who's scared, now? Huh?” he laughed. I hated it when he laughed like this. It pissed me off to no end. It made me feel like he was laughing at me.

“Shut up and fuck me already!” I yelled. I paused at my own remark. I was so caught up in the thought of him laughing at me that I probably made my biggest mistake of the night. “I mean… I was gonna do that anyway. But now… imma fuck the shit outta you, so don't run,” Terry said grabbing my hips. He reached between us and placed his dick at my entrance.

I knew not to expect him to take it easy. He pushed in without stopping and instantly bottomed out. “Fuck!” I moaned. Every inch of him was buried inside of me. I leaned forward, trying to find relief. “Nah, where you goin’? You told me to shut up and fuck you, right? So, whatchu runnin’ for?” Terry said pulling me back.

His hips went to work. There was no build-up or time to adjust. “Daddy! Oh, shit!” I shrieked. Terry's dick was hitting spots I didn't know I had. My pussy began clenching around him. “Ahh, fuck! You good pussy havin’ bitch!” Terry mumbled. How the fuck was I this close? He had just entered me, and I was already close to cumming. How?!

Terry pounded into me like he was trying to make a second hole. I put my hand behind me, reaching for his stomach. Without a word, he grabbed my hands and pulled them behind my back. If he kept pounding me like this, there was no way I was lasting longer than a few minutes.

I could feel Terry moving behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see him staring at the full-length mirror in the corner. Terry turned back around to see me looking at him. As soon as that smirk returned, I knew he was up to no good.

His arms looped through mine as he lifted me from the bed. He carried me to stand in front of the mirror. “Mama, we need to have a serious talk. You remember what I asked you for earlier?” he asked. “What are you talkin' about, Daddy?” I questioned in confusion. “Having my baby. Remember that?” he said, grinning from ear to ear. “Yes, but…” I started to speak before he cut me off. “But nothing. Here's the deal, Mama. You can't cum until you agree to it,” he said reaching between us.

He pushed himself back in, causing us both to moan in unison. “Damn it. That's not fair. Ahh, fuck!” I moaned. “Life isn't fair, baby girl. I told you what I wanted, and you ain't leavin’ this room ‘til I get it,” he said bending me over. He was once again fucking me mercilessly. Bottoming out with every stroke. His thrusts were not letting up. “Look at yourself. Come on, look!” Terry said gripping my hair. He pulled me up so my back was against his chest. Finally slowing down his strokes, he forced me to look in the mirror. “Tell me we wouldn't make some pretty babies? Unh unh, look. Don't close those eyes. Look at yourself, pretty girl. You tellin' me you wouldn't want a little you runnin’ around? Huh?” Terry asked while still slowly fucking me. The pleasure I felt was more intense than anything I had ever experienced. I don't know if it was the mirror or a combination of tonight's activities, but something was making me delirious. Here I was once again succumbing to the sorcery of Terry's dick.

“Talk to me. You want me to call you Big Mama, right? Right? That's what you want, Mama?” Terry asked speaking directly into my ear. The warmth of his breath radiated through my body. It was like I could feel everything— the way every vein in Terry's dick was protruding, the way the muscles in my pussy were contracting, the way Terry's balls smacked against my pussy, and the way I was surrendering to my own pleasure.

“Fuck it! Cum in me, Daddy. I want it!” I yelped. I needed to cum badly, and I could tell Terry needed to, too. His strokes were getting sloppy, and his hips were stuttering. “Yeah, you want Daddy to fill you up?” Terry said kissing my neck. “Yes, please. Cum in me. I wanna… ahhh…. I wanna have your baby!” I yelled. “ Then, take this dick, baby girl. You can do it,” Terry said, grabbing my hips. He reached around and began rubbing my clit while maintaining his pace— slow and deep. “I’m cumming,” I said panting. “I know, baby. I know. So is Daddy,” Terry said tightening his grip on my waist.

With one final thrust, Terry and I both came undone. His arms held me in place as his head fell on my shoulders. His embrace was strong and intentional like he was seeking completion.

Minutes passed as we stood there in bliss, coming down from our highs. Terry's arms slowly loosened from around me. I stumbled a little, almost falling forward. “You good?” Terry asked, turning me around to face him. “Yeah. My legs hurt. Well,… truth be told, all of me hurts,” I giggled. “It's okay. Daddy's gotcha,” Terry said, picking me up bridal style.

He walked back to the bed and gently sat me in the center before lying beside me. “Come here, Mama. I know I chose a crazy moment to bring up babies. But, let me know now. Were you serious?” he questioned. I laid back and put my leg over Terry's waist. “I mean… I don't know. I wanna say no, but deep down, I wanna say yes, too. Maybe?… You don't think it's too soon?” I questioned back, laying my head on his shoulder. “Babygirl, the choice is yours to make. Your body, your choice. If you feel it's too soon, that's fine with me. I can wait,” he said kissing my forehead. “Do you really want to be a father?” I asked him. “I've always wanted to be a dad. I just never felt comfortable enough to do it,” he said looking down at me. “So, what's making you so comfortable now?” I challenged. “You don't get it. Do you?” he asked, smiling down at me. “Get what?” I asked.

Terry lifted me so that I was straddling his waist. “You don't see yourself the way I see you. You exude this aura of love and kindness that draws people to you. Your love language is love itself. And to me, you are love… I hope that makes sense,” Terry said stroking my cheek. “It… it does,” I said as I started to cry. “Oh, no. Mama, I didn't wanna make you cry. I just wanted you to know how much I love you,” Terry said pulling me into a hug. “I love you, too. That was… that was just… a lot… for me,” I stuttered between sobs.

Terry's arm engulfed me deeper into his embrace. This was probably the safest and most loved I had ever felt. So, maybe, just maybe… ONE WON'T HURT.

Taglist: @persethegawd @kimuzostar @brattyfics @avoidthings @5headsupremacist @insidefeelingofanadult @kirayuki22 @nayaesworld

@creartivefairy @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @ariiijestertheklown @miyuhpapayuh @megamindsecretlair @nayaxwrites @jimmybutlrr @gg-trini @vivaalenaa @slutsareteacherstoo @skyesthebomb @blowmymbackout @blackerthings @mymindisneverhere @androgynousgaz @becauseimswagman1 @gwenda-fav @poektiou624 @keyaho @pocketsizedpanther @sageispunk @charismablu @4ftwonder @4pfsukuna @writingsbytee @babybratzmaraj @pinkpantheris @honeytoffee @talkswithdesi

@onherereading @blyffe @beenathembo @helloncrocs @thiccc-c @lovey-3 @curvyambitions @iburias @geee3bayyybeee3 @episodes-ff @ineedmyaccountback @rebelrel0987

@qtmkenedy03 @prettypink-princesss @teeresaresa

[wzkfuu]

:3

Basically Leon just getting edged also yes this is probably gonna be ass👅👅

reader is a women and um um this is SMUT SEXUAL THINGS ARE HAPPENING MDNI!!

okay enjoy

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*

Leon’s propped up against his headboard, back at his own apartment. His hand’s wrapped around his cock, pre-come beading at his tip. He bucks up into his fist shallowly, cussing softly to himself as pleasure washes over him.

His eyes flutter shut, images of her , flashing through his mind. Her touching him, feeling him. Her warmth against him, Her soft hands around his cock, whispering dirty obscenities into his ear. In his free hand, he holds his phone— tilted to his ear with the voice message she had sent him recently. He moans aloud, tilting his head back as he replays it over and over again. He loves it, he loves her voice. His other hand thats wrapped around his cock starts stroking faster, his hips bucking up abortedly— he’s so fucking close.

"...oh fuck, —," She hears Leon moan, hearing the whimpers and groans on the other end. Unbeknownst to Leon, while listening to her voice recording, he had pressed call. She had picked it up of course.

“Leon? Is everything alright?” He hears from the other side of the line.

Leon freezes, eyes wide. Holy shit. He’d accidentally called her and she picked up. She heard him. Oh god. He was so close, too. He wanted to just let it go, let himself fall over the edge with her voice in his ear, but his pride stops him. He can’t let her know how fucked up he is, how much he needs this...needs her.

"Uh...yeah. everything's fine." He says breathlessly, trying to play it cool. He clears his throat, hoping she doesn’t notice how ragged it sounds. "Sorry, I must've hit the call button by accident. What's up?"

He keeps stroking himself, slower now, savoring the sensation. It's not the same as when she touches him, but it'll have to do. He bites his lip, stifling another moan as he imagines her watching him, seeing what he's doing. The thought sends a shiver down his spine.

“Leon are you..are you jerking off right now?” She says whispering the last bit

Leon freezes, eyes widening. Fuck. How did she know? He swallows thickly, his mouth suddenly dry. "I...uh...I don't know what you're talking about..." He lies unconvincingly, his voice strained. He can't deny it, not with the evidence right there in her ear. His ragged breathing, the slick slide of his hand over his cock. He's been caught red-handed.

A part of him wants to hang up, to escape this humiliation. But another part, a darker, needier part, wants to embrace it. Wants her to know exactly what she do to him. He groans softly, his hips twitching up into his fist. "Maybe I am..." He admits, his voice barely above a whisper. He's trembling now, his orgasm building despite his best efforts to hold it back.

"Fuck, baby ... I can't help it. I think about you all the time. About your hands on me, your mouth..." He pants, losing himself in the fantasy. He's so close, teetering on the edge. He just needs a little more. "I'm gonna...I'm gonna cum. Please, say something else. Anything..." He begs, too far gone to care how desperate he sounds.

“Didn’t know you’d be the type for phone sex Leon. , you’re a little naughty aren’t you?” God , he can practically hear her smirking from here.

Leon groans at her words, his grip on his cock tightening. Fuck, she sounds so good. So dirty. He loves this side of her, loves seeing her let her guard down. Loves knowing that he's the one who brings it out in her.

"Yeah...yeah, I am. I'm fucking naughty. Especially when it comes to you." He growls, his voice low and rough with desire. He starts stroking faster, chasing his release. He's so close, he can feel it building at the base of his spine. His balls draw up tight, his body tensing.

"I want you, baby. I want to bend you over and fuck you until you can't walk straight. I want to make you scream my name." He pants, his words coming out in broken gasps. He's right on the edge, teetering, waiting for her permission to let go.

"Please... please tell me to cum. I need it. I need you baby..please..." He begs, his voice breaking. He's shaking now, his body wound tight with tension. He's never needed anyone like this before. Never wanted someone so badly. He needs her so so badly, needs her touch, her approval. Needs everything she can give him.

“No. You’re gonna wait since you lied to me at first .” She smiles lying down on her own bed feeling the wetness in her panties slowly circling around her clit.

Leon whines as she denies him release, his cock throbbing in frustration. He's so fucking close, he can taste it. But she’s right, he did lie to her. He deserves this punishment.

"Fuck, baby. Please, I'm sorry. I'll take it back, I swear. Just let me cum." He begs, his voice high and needy. He hates how desperate he sounds, but he can't help it. His body is on fire, every nerve ending screaming for release.

He keeps stroking himself, teasing the sensitive head. He knows he shouldn't, knows he'll just make it worse. But he can't stop. He's addicted to the sensation, to the pleasure.

"I'll do anything, baby. Anything you want. Just please, don't leave me like this. I need you." He sobs, his hips bucking up into his hand. He's a mess, he knows. A pathetic, whimpering mess. But he doesn't care. All he cares about is her , about pleasing her.

He's shaking now, his body wracked with need. He's never felt anything like this before, never been so consumed by desire. He needs her, needs her touch, her approval.

"Baby.., please... I'll be good. I promise. I'll make it so good for you. Just tell me what to do..." He pleads, his voice breaking. He's begging now, shameless in his need. He'll do anything she asks, anything at all. As long as she doesn’t leave him hanging like this , desperately stroking his cock with all that pathetic whining.

“Don’t do anything. I’ll be there soon.” He hears before the call ends now sitting there waiting.

[bad268]

heyy, i was wondering if u could do a kimi fic even tho u r getting unnecessary backlash for it ( sorry babes ) maybe with an italian reader that reacts badly to kimi getting into a f2 crash bc a family memeber passed from a car accident and after hes i nthe hospital the ready gets clingy with him?

I'm Not Going Anywhere (Andrea Kimi Antonelli X Hubert! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/F2/F3

Requested: Clearly (I changed it to French, hope you don't mind <3)

Warnings: Imola crash, heavy mentions of Belgium 2019 (Hubert reader i mean-)

POV: Second Person (You/your)

W.C. 1887

Summary: Kimi's crash brings the reader back to the darkest time of their life

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^@/kimi.4ever on Insta from 7/25/2024)

You had finally let Kimi convince you to come to one of his races. It was one of his home races, Imola specifically, and you had never gone to a race with him. You had some deeply buried trauma with races, so you were more comfortable supporting from afar. Well, when Kimi came up to you and practically begged you to join him, you couldn’t say no. The weekend was fine. You and Kimi were doing track walks, you got to sit in his car, you got to meet some of the grid, and it all helped to ease your nerves. George and Carmen were amazing, it was fun catching up with Ollie on track, and all was well.

Qualifying went well, with Kimi ending up in the top 10, and the race was going to be a piece of cake, he said. Why was it a piece of cake? Because it was projected to rain. Why would this make it a piece of cake? Oh, because Kimi was more comfortable with driving on the wet track. You knew this as he always took you on late-night drives whenever it rained. It was just more calming to him, so you took his word as you stood beside Toto in the Mercedes garage.

Then, it was like everything was in slow motion. One second, you were listening to Toto praising Kimi’s skills, but the next, everything was silent. You had looked over at Mick as he tapped your shoulder, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw a silver car lose control. Your ears were ringing, and you couldn't focus on anything. Suddenly, you felt like you were back in Belgium 2019. The worst day of your life, the day you tried your hardest to forget, the day you lost your older brother, Anthoine. The flashbacks you tried so hard to bury were coming back in full force.

You didn’t register your legs giving out, but you felt someone’s arms wrap around you. Was it Fred? Mick? Carmen? Toto? Susie? You don’t know. The view of Kimi’s Mercedes hitting the wall replayed over and over and over again in your head. You couldn’t feel anything, and it was just like back then. Your brain was glitching, mixing up the two accidents. With that, your anxiety ran wild.

Your breathing became unsteady, you felt your heart beating at your fingertips, and your hands and forehead became clammy. You felt like you were going to throw up or pass out as you brought a shaking hand up to your chest. There was nothing you could do. There was nothing you could do to save Kimi and nothing you could say to help the situation. You were helpless.

You vaguely remembered someone lifting you to stand and help you into Kimi’s driver’s room, but you couldn’t recall who. You felt like you had no control over your body. It was almost like you were watching everything from the outside. It was the same as Belgium 2019, and there was nothing you could do.

You briefly registered a blob of someone kneeling before you. They grabbed your hands and ran their hands across your knuckles. Then, up your forearms to your shoulders. They drew shape around your legs and shoulders, coaxing you back into your body. You blinked rapidly as they did so, and after a few moments, you felt like the bricks on your chest lessened. You saw Mick kneeling in front of you. You let out a huge breath as you collapsed into his chest. 

Everything was still a little hazy, but you were able to semi-follow along with what Mick was explaining. Something something breaks failed. Something hospital. Something something get in there. Mick helped you into the back of an ambulance, helping you sit next to Kimi before he said something to the medics. 

No one looked at you twice as you reached out to grab Kimi’s hand, but you stopped in the air just before you could. If this was it, you knew you wouldn’t be able to hold it together if you held his hand. Your mind still replayed the ambulance ride with Anthoine, and you couldn’t shake the feeling of deja vu as you looked at Kimi.

He was unconscious, but he looked peaceful. Then again, so did Anthoine. You dropped your head for the entire ride, not wanting to face what you believed to be inevitable.

When you arrived at the hospital, a nurse directed you to a waiting room while they attended to Kimi, giving you the chance to come back to the present on your own. You clenched your fists a few times and walked around the room. You just couldn’t sit still. It felt like hours, and maybe it was until a nurse came in to update you on Kimi’s condition. Part of you had convinced yourself that he was gone, but that changed when the nurse walked in with a comforting smile.

“He’s alright,” She said as she led you through the halls to his room, “He’s a little out of it, but he should be just fine. He hit the wall pretty hard, so he has a concussion and broke his wrist. He should be back in the car in a few weeks, depending on his progress.”

“He’s alive?” You asked hopefully as your voice cracked. “Will he be okay?”

“We’re projecting a full recovery,” She comforted as you threw your arms around her and cried. The biggest weight was lifted off your shoulders after hearing this situation was different from before. Different from Anthoine. You still had Kimi, and that’s what you needed to focus on. You finally regained your senses before pulling back and wrapping your arms around yourself with a sheepish smile. “I can take you back to see him now.”

With a nod, you followed behind her silently through the halls. There was nothing you could think to say at that moment, and you didn’t want to disturb anyone you walked passed. Eventually, you both got into the lift, and she pressed the button for the fourth floor.

“Just so you know, he was asking for you,” She added just before stepping off the lift and walking towards a room to the right. It was the first door, but before she could open the door, you gently grabbed her wrist.

“What do you mean? I thought he was unconscious since the crash?” You questioned, dropping her wrist when she turned to you. 

“He woke up momentarily when we were transporting him to get a CT scan,” She replied quietly. “He just whispered your name a couple of times and asked us to tell you he was alright, but he went back under almost immediately. It was very helpful actually because it showed us that he still had some memory, so we didn’t need to worry too much about amnesia. Here, head in, and I’ll send someone by to get you dinner.”

You nodded in response as she continued walking down the corridor, but you took a deep breath before walking into the room. It was just as bland as you remembered- no. You were not thinking like that. He’s fine! The nurse said so herself! 

There was no color, no sounds other than the heartbeat monitor, and no movement. You would change that whenever he woke up, or you would text someone to bring flowers or something. You pulled the chair closer to his bed. He didn’t look bad for someone who just got in a life-threatening crash. He had some bruises around his temple, his left arm was wrapped, and you could see some bandages around his chest. Honestly, you were scared to touch him. 

You finally got the courage to link your pinky with his. It was minimal contact, but it made you feel so much better. It also accidentally opened the floodgates. You barely registered the tears that fell from your eyes as your eyes zoned in on his hand. You analyzed the amount of wires that came out of it, the slight bruises on his wrist and fingers, and you noticed how bare his wrist was. He always had a watch or fan bracelets on, and seeing neither didn’t help the onset of tears. 

You pulled one of your charm bracelets off and gently slid it on over the wires. It was one he made for you, saying “Tesoro” with a (color) heart. You made him an identical one with a red heart, but it was with the rest of his things back at the track. Just seeing one semblance of normalcy helped calm your nerves as you fiddled with the bracelet. Eventually, the day caught up to you, and you laid your head next to Kimi’s hand. You briefly looked up at him before exhaustion hit you full force.

It felt like you were asleep for hours, and maybe you were. You felt something gently running through your hair, across your cheekbones, down your arm, and eventually stopping at your hand. You registered that it was someone’s hand, and when you finally connected the dots, your eyes snapped open to see Kimi’s half-lidded eyes looking back at you.

“I’m sorry, did I scare you, Tesoro (sweetheart)?” His groggy voice asked quietly as his hand moved back up to cup your cheek. He gently wiped away the stray tears that had collected on your lashline as you struggled to form words. “You don’t have to say anything. We can talk later. All you need to know is I’m okay, I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Can I lay with you?” It came out before you registered it. Was it against hospital policy? Could be, but it didn’t stop Kimi from shifting over in the bed to make space for you. It also didn’t stop you from immediately climbing on next to him, being careful of the wires and injuries he had. You gently laid your head on his chest and wrapped an arm loosely around his stomach before looking up at him, “Is this okay?”

“If you’re comfortable, it’s perfect,” He replied in a soft tone with a smile as he placed a kiss on the top of your head. He adjusted his arm around you so the wires hung off the side of the bed, and he could still hold you. “Anything to make you feel better.”

“You just got in the accident, not me,” You chuckled halfheartedly. “I should be working around what you’re comfortable with.”

“You are,” He pointed out, “I’m comfortable when you’re comfortable. And it’s not like you're pulling on my IV or anything. We’re both comfy now, so why don’t you try to get some more sleep?”

“What about you?” You asked sleepily. The now-comfortable position made it a lot harder to stay awake, especially now that you were able to talk to Kimi and give yourself peace of mind.

“They should be in here shortly to check in,” Kimi answered before kissing the tip of your nose. “Get some sleep. I feel like it was a hard day for you. I’ll be here when you wake up, don’t worry, Tesoro.”

“Ti amo, Tesoro (I love you, sweetheart),” You whispered against Kimi’s lips as you placed one last kiss before falling asleep.

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[mochamvgz]

stay a while.n.ki

; your boyfriend breaks the news to you about him moving away after high school, leaving you devastated.

; nishimura riki x reader

; genre: angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, high school au

; warnings: implied break-up, crying, intrusive thoughts

; 0.6k words

; tags: @sobun1est @kbookshelf

“we're running out of time.”

it's as if time halts for a moment as you utter those words into existence. your voice was quiet but that obviously did nothing to soften the blow, for you feel riki freeze mid-action.

your eyes remain trained on your fingers as you fidget with them on your lap. you don't look up. you don't want to see whatever expression is painted on his face, you're too scared to.

“i'm right, aren't i? you've been dodging the question for weeks now.”

your voice comes out choked but you force your face to remain passive.

a defeated sigh rings out from beside you and you notice his shoulders slump in your peripheral vision.

the room is quiet for a moment. you can sense your boyfriend, soon to be your ex, trying to find the right words to say, mulling them over in his brain before saying them out loud. his hand reaches for yours but you pull away before you can even register what you're doing. his fingers collapse into a loose fist, as though even they were dejected, and his hand slowly retreats from your vision, almost begging you to change your mind.

“i’m sorry.”

“for what? keeping me waiting and letting me cry every night for the past week over the mere thought of losing you? us? that's not a big deal at all!”

“what? you-you've been... crying?”

riki is facing you now, his tone carries a noticeable undertone of surprise, but you still don't look up. your silence answers for you.

“at least tell me now, are you moving away or not?”

you ask after a beat, finally turning to face him. his lips purse as he avoids eye contact and you already know the answer. regardless, you wait for verbal confirmation.

part of your brain screams at you to back away, take back the question and lock him in a closet because you weren't ready to let go, not so soon.

“most probably, yes”

“you told me you would decide last month.”

another sigh, “fine. yes, I am going.”

the admission plunges you in a whirlwind of emotions. your ears are ringing now. memories flash in your mind of the unfulfilled promises you made to one another, the seemingly insignificant ones as well as the big ones. you're watching a movie in your head where the scenes are moving too quick to allow any space for comprehension.

“then why did you lie earlier?”

“i didn't want to talk about this right now, i didn't want to tell you…”

you can't deal with this right now, you need to clear your head.

your body works on autopilot as you stand up abruptly. his fingers clasp around your wrist almost reflexively, keeping you from walking away. you can't find the willpower to look at him.

he pulls you towards him and you fall on his lap.

“we've still got a couple of months…”

there's the faintest hint of hope in the sentence. maybe hope wasn't exactly the right word for it but for it but you were too lost in the moment to give a damn.

“i love you.”

riki tenderly whispers into your ear and that's all it takes for the floodgates to open. you curl in closer to him, clutching his t-shirt as your sobs break loose. he wastes no time wrapping his arms around your quivering frame.

“i love you too.”

he buries his face into the side of your neck and it's not long before you feel your collar dampen from his tears. he isn't ready to let go either.

both of you had known this moment would come one day, and dreaded its arrival, but none of you were prepared for heartache to come knocking on your door so soon.

; a/n: i wasn't planning on writing anything in 10th grade bc I had a massive case of writer's block but here i am! i tried writing in present tense for the first time, did you guys like it better? sorry, it's pretty short. my exams are around the corner so i probably won't be putting anything out again for a few months at least. hope you liked the fic!

© mochamvgz on tumblr | all rights reserved | do not plagiarise, repost, or translate

[archie-sunshine]

Hello :D! I bought one of each of ur TFA kitty baskets and have been mulling over a thanks in advance all day- my pal says to thank you for your service (since the show ended a bit ago) so here I am!! They're just way way too cute I'm gonna lose my mind until they arrive

Hope you're having a great day!!

THANK *YOU* for supporting my merch!!! I know a lot of older tf shows don't get much merch, so i'm hoping to do more merch for them to show my appreciation for their service (their service being giving me butts to draw), so stay tuned for that!

I also recommend you check out @maxicaiman 's tfa buttons line!! He covers a ton of characters that I haven't yet in my stickers, and his art is absolutely fantastic. Super high quality stuff!!!

[nagiseishirro]

Hello, I'm in love with your writings!!! I hope my request is something you can do. It's okay if you feel uncomfortable. I'm very curious about Chubby reader x nagi I mean, what does he think, what does he do, I would be very happy if you tell me as nsfw.

HELLO NONNIE!!! i've just read the deadliest reonagi fic on ao3 known to mankind and need something to take my mind off it so.... here you go :x <3

warnings: nsfw implications under the cut, but nothing is explicitly stated. slightly possessive nagi at the end? implies that nagi supports and encourages weightloss when necessary. not proofread.

SFW:

to nagi, he doesn't really understand why people would care so much about appearances.

he doesn't mind your stature, it's quite refreshing for him to see something he doesn't see often—given how he goes to one of the richer schools and practically lives in the soccer fields with reo.

he thinks it's okay to slack off once in a while, or all the while, actually.

he knows it's a hassle to take care of oneself, so he doesn't mind you, he lets you be.

if you want to start working out, he'll gladly support you and immediately texts reo to temporarily (or permanently) rent over an entire gym.

if you're happy with your body, however, he'll support you in that, too!

he's far too lazy to spoil you himself, so he gets reo to spoil the both of you.

he does look after you to not let you get overweight to the point of life-threatening, though. no way, you're far too precious to lose.

he knows he himself needs to have some form of exercise throughout the week, as much as he dislikes it, so once again... he calls reo over.

he'd get reo to buy those VR headsets. it's a win-win. he gets to play his game, and gets to play it with you. the cherry on top? that he doesn't have to go out in the sun to exercise, he thinks.

other than that? he's absolutely relishing whenever you're draped over him on the soft sheets of his bed.

he swears he can have your weight pressed up against his back at any time, anywhere. you're the perfect amount of heavy—not too light that it just can't hit his right spots, just perfect.

NSFW:

he absolutely loves the feeling of the plump of your waist melting in the palm of his hand as he wrecks you with his undeniable adoration for you.

the way you wrap nd clench so nicely around him, like you don't want him anywhere else drills adrenaline into his hazy mind—he couldn't ask for more.

until he does.

"mm—more, do it again." he's addicted. maybe more addicted to you then he is to his switch.

the way your skin, just from a little thrust, ripples from your hips, through your waist and fogs into your torso just has him locked.

he loves the way he can easily tell that, you're enjoying it as much as he does. no thinking, hassle, just pure looking.

"mmhck— s'pretty. y'rpretty.. 'know th–thaat? even better, all mine."

he thinks out loud, and he knows you heard him. he's gonna make sure you know you're perfect—maybe not for the rest of the world, but perfect, for him, and him alone.

note: hope you liked this :3 i love taking requests send me more guys :x

[yveshiver]

Rafe Cameron - Late.

Lana Del Rey - Pretty When You Cry

The weekend was awful and you wanted to talk to someone that saturday night. Not just someone, but him. Yet you know the rules that both of you have set: no texting, no calling, no meetings. No need to repeat the past mistakes, but you just know you can't keep yourself off him. Today you need him, to feel yourself falling into his strong arms and feel as if nothing else exists in the world. No wondering how you didn't crash to some random car on the road since your head was full of other matters. Your mind drove you to his new little place, the apartment he got on the Silence Road. The phone showed the time 01:13, a bit too late for the friendly visit, and yet again, you are nowhere to be friends, not anymore. You got out of the car, the nights were getting cold and you stood there thinkin it over and over again, "Am I ready to lose him one more time?". And then you made one step closer to the entrance door, one more and few more. Two knocks at the door and no reply, you knocked again. "Yeah, it was fucking stupid I should just leave before anyone notices" and you start to stride back to the car breathless.

-No way. - He showed at the door in shorts only, topless and barefoot. His buzzcut was getting a little long, the goosebumps from the cold showed on the muscles all over the body and you noticed a little tattoo of a boat on the rib.

-I am sorry, I should have not come here. - Your tears started to show. - And you were asleep and it's late and we agreed not to ever.. do this.. again.. I'm… - You were lost of breath, the panic was getting you, it felt as if the ground beneath your feet was dissapearing and you were ready to fall.

-Hey, princess, I'm here, hey.. - He stepped closer to you.

-You can't go out like this, you'll catch a cold, it's very…

-Hey, it's ok, don't worry about me catching a cold, hey… - He was so close, he got your face into his hands trying to find the reason for this sudden appearance.

-Rafe, I'm sorry. - You couldn't look into his eyes. - I'm so sorry for being here, I know that we… - Tears were streaming down the face.

-It's ok, hey, look at me. Please, baby, look at me, I need to know what happened, you are safe with me, ok? It's ok, c'mhere. - He held you in his arms as close as it was humanly possible. He placed your head onto his chest, his arms were cuddled to you. For the first time this day you felt safe, it was such a liberating feeling. You stood there with your eyes closed knowing you can finally relax in his arms.

-Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby, ok? You are safe here, you know that. It's ok. I do wish you told me the reason of the tears tho. - He got your face into his hands once again, you always loved when he did that.

-I feel so helpless, I know I can't bother you with my things.

-Hey, your things are my things, I got you. - He put your strands of hair behind your ears, his fingers brushed through you hair as you tilted you head to his hand. You looked straight into his eyes, the striking blueness of them always swept you away. The colour of the sea, the colour of the sky, the colour of everything that gave you hope and comfort. Now they shined brighter in the night. You wanted the moment to last forever, but you knew you only had this night. You got out of his arms, took the breath of fresh air. He noticed you getting away and looked so worried.

-Hey, why don't you come inside and tell me everyhing, huh? - You felt as if he didn't want you to go away.

-Rafe, do you think it's a good idea?

-Sure. - He tried to seem unbothered, putting his hands into the pockets of the shorts. - Why not, and it is really chilly outside. - He shugged the shoulders. You noticed the freckes on them, oh God how much you loved these freckles.

-Why not, I can't let you get cold because of me, right? He started walking to the door checking if you were following. All you knew is how much you wanted this night to last forever, how much you wanted to feel him close to you, to look into his eyes, to have his hands holding you. You might not have another day with him, but at least you have tonight, right?

[poetessurielle999]

"I still like you."

I feel ashamed of myself that I'd rather be torn to shreds.

The stars have barely shown up above the vast, blue skies but I know my day is over. I have spent hours doing absolutely nothing other than feeling disappointed of my own incompetency and embarrassment of my silly love.

I hoped the way I walk did not give an impression that I was trying to look for you carelessly, almost slipping on wet floors and bumping on walls.

I'm not supposed to write poetry about you nor should I bother writing letters. I should't do this if I tell myself I have to move on. But I've barely done that and I'm not so sure anymore. When I saw you, I forgot that I was excluded of everything else in my own life.

I am bothered by many things and now you completely captured every cell of my mind.

It's stupid because I know it leads to nowhere. Love is red and pink but that's all there is to it. There is no line that shapes what it could be. It's all blurry and mixed, smudged and poured on cement.

It's embarrassing how I told myself just a few days ago that I will do my best to avoid you. But now that you have said a simple, basic human greeting spelled in two words it's not even funny anymore—how you made me describe the word 'Hi' in a complicated way.

Because I feel hot despite wearing blue. I don't know—I'm afraid I wear my heart on my sleeve and it's making me lose my mind.

Before that though, I saw you earlier. With someone. It reminded me of something you told me. "I feel happier whenevet she talks to me." Yet here I am, despite telling myself it's not me, my mind seems to say he did like me because he's happier with me. But that's so shameful. It's never true. He smiles with many people, he's happier with those he vibes with—who am I to feel this way? Who am I to feel so special it hurts?

When will I finally be able to tell you, show everyone, that I'm better off without these feelings because I harbor none of it anymore? Spare me this pain of joy and comfort of suffering and let me be embarrassed of the things I've done six years ago instead.

A. "Urielle"

[iersei]

endlessly entertained by the fact that i was deathly afraid of engaging with the tumblr dndads fandom at large for months for fear of being Perceived and now. for hot glenn autumn. i've effectively thrown all that out the window. kicked the door down and shouted at everyone who will listen hey does anyone wanna know how badly i want to FUCK this old man

[imminent-danger-came]

Lady Bone Demon: "Do not lament your fate child, you can rest knowing you served your purpose—destiny has found you."

(2x10 This is the End!)

-

Lady Bone Demon: "A reminder: it seems you can not be trusted to willingly follow the path of destiny. But know this: If you betray me again—one misstep, one failure in any way—I will erase the very memory of you."

(3x04 The Winning Side)

-

Tang: "You're wrong. I know I'm not a strong as they are. I may still be searching for my purpose—but what I do know, is that doing it alone is not the path I'm destined to take. Deep in my heart, I know my place is alongside my friends."

(3x08 Benched)

-

Lady Bone Demon: "I sent you a task—you were to retrieve the Monkie King and his protégé, yet you refused the path of destiny and so there will be pain."

(3x08 Benched)

-

Tang: "STOP! It was me! I mean, yeah, Macaque forced me to do it and I am definitely starting to have second thoughts on the whole thing now but- I don't know how and I don't know why, I just felt like I had to. Like it was...destiny!" Lady Bone Demon Voice Over: "Destiny can not be undone Sun Wukong."

(3x10 The Samadhi Fire)

-

Lady Bone Demon: "No matter what you do, you cannot change the path of destiny." MK: "I don't know if this all happened because it was destined to, but I have to believe that I found the staff so I could use it for good." [...] "If you really believed that destiny can't be changed, you wouldn't be using every ounce of power you have to keep him contained!"

(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)

-

Lady Bone Demon: “Know this, monkey, you and I are not so different. We both fight for what we think is right—that pursuit only leads to one thing." MK: "Hmmhm. To destiny, right?" Lady Bone Demon: "No. To pain."  

(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)

-

MK: "I can't believe that worked!" Tang: "Eh, if that was destined to go wrong, then it would have!"

(4x03 The Great Tang Man)

-

Tang: "If your bonds of friendships our strong, then you will always find your way back to one another!"

(4x04 Pig Napped!)

-

Macaque: "Wukong was on a path of self-destruction, we all were. But when he met the monk, it set him on a different path." MK: "Ah! The path of the good guy! Making those good life choices?"

(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)

-

Purpose, Pain, and the Path of Destiny

[lynzishell]

So here we are

...again

[dollypopup]

y'all can all cancel me (again) for this, but if there's even a SHRED of 'who should I pick?' from Penelope in season 3, I am tuning out SO fast because like. . .sorry not sorry, there IS no choice. Debling is some crusty OC suitor she barely even knows and Colin is a man who she has been so supposedly in love with to the point where she'd ruin her entire family's reputation to have a potential love story with him. Penelope and Colin have background, years of knowing each other, intimacy that few people in the Ton can boast of having (letters, conversations about purpose, fights and arguments and makeups) and her and Debling have. . .a dance or two at a ball because he's a rebound for Penelope's broken heart. he means nothing. he has no nuance, he has no weight to the story, he is such an afterthought to me. either I wanna see Penelope going 'you know what? I don't even LIKE this dude. he's. . .fine, but I don't care about him even a shred as much as I care about Colin' or the INSTANT Colin's like 'you know what? we should get married' if it's not an immediate 'say less, you're already my husband, try returning me without the receipt, Debling whomst?' then I don't want it!

like. . .it's just so frustrating to see all the 'I hope Debling sweeps her off her feet and she rejects Colin's proposal and she makes him work for it and and and-' nonsense from the fandom and it's always tagged and no matter how many times I block it, it just keeps popping up. I go into the Polin tag for POLIN. I don't give a SHIT about a male love interest other than Colin. Not one. Not a shred. Not an iota.

and also. . .Debling has the 'benefit' of not having depth, or character traits, or HISTORY, so peeps can project onto him however they want, but I'm calling it now, there is NOTHING he could do or be that would make me like him more than Colin. Colin will always hit different, and I will always love him more. and if Pen's not on that same page? lol bye

you want me to believe Penelope and Colin are soulmates and it's romance for her to hem and haw about how difficult a decision it is for her to marry a stranger who knows barely anything about her. . .

when Marina was out here dropping banger lines like 'You were the only man with which I could see myself being happy' and 'I do not care about any of these men, where is Colin?'? like hello??? and she wasn't even fully in love with him!!!! but we'll demonize her until the cows come home in our fandom and make her the villain in Polin's love story for DARING to get in between Polin, yet Debling, a white man, is a darling dear perfect prince for getting in between Polin? existing in our fandom solely so Penelope can be like 'lol, Colin ain't shit, let me entertain any and everyone else'?

if that's the direction it goes then, ten toes down and on my mama, she doesn't deserve Colin and she can move because I'm on my way to court him my damn self

and that's that on that

[pardonmydelays]

i was in a really dark place before clancy came out in may... now i can genuinely say that i'm so fucking grateful for everything that happened ever since

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

[lizzzybooo]

I'm watching helluva boss again with my friend and I feel like I'm defending it SO HARD because it starts pretty slowly (I mean it's funny but you know it's basically just swearing and violence at the beginning) and I can't pinpoint the moment it took over my entire body and soul completely so I just keep telling her to keep watching waiting for the moment she would be like well shit this is my life now

[hazeism]

Book Demerzel was male in the past too! She is Gender.

Ooh, okay, so I guess my understanding of things is kind of impaired by the fact that I'm still on Edge (I went in in-universe chrono, though--I mean I did the Empire books all jumbled because I read Pebble ages and ages ago and then the other two came in as holds from my library in the wrong order hahah--so I started the Foundation novels with Prelude) and have yet to read and Earth which I think he returns in? So I might be missing a huge amount of context regarding his presentation/interpretation/etc. etc.

Most of my ideas about Daneel's complication regarding gender mostly conform to my understanding of him (any pronouns apply 🥰🥰 but I'm used to he so I'll just go with that for now) as a fundamentally resolved, instrumental thing--though cornered of course by minimalism and limited knowledge--who has the luxury (?) of more readily identifying the contextual applications of gender, combined then with millenia of insight into the fluid/arbitrary drifts of social and cultural mores, plus his own schematics of prioritization and internalization... I think he is on like extradimensional levels of gender, internally, and I hope there is canon basis for him taking upon himself some gendered aspects in a functional/teleological manner (as he takes on other aspects of personhood! even Demerzel himself is an adopted aspect!) because I think that even if that goes uninterrogated (as so many things in these novels do GRRR!) it has even more necessary implications for his internal cognitions of gender!!!!

That said I DO also think there's something to be said about the amount of gendered socialization he gets in his most formative years (especially from his Earthman who knows his sociological formulas but does not have a very sophisticated or unblemished understanding of gender politicssdbfkdj)--which is undercut by his state of subjection and perpetual qualification and Othering from people who do know his true nature, and then the implication of Deceit (not what I believe him to be doing--at least in the context of gender/lack thereof but definitely how it would be interpreted by towards people who don't know what he is which like. very transgender existence tbh being considered inherently deceitful) but this all just makes it more texturally complex and interesting and makes him even better at being soooo gender. Love that thing!!!!