#and i haven't written in it yet or talked to anyone about it
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Would it have worked? - Mouthwashing
A/n: I think it's important to let you know that I haven't written frequently for a long time, but following something new has made me excited and with a peak of creativity, I apologize if I wrote something wrong or said something wrong 😭 feel free to correct me 🫶🏽
Versão em português no wattpad: ashkabbom (Nome: Teria dado certo?)
I didn't write this in a romantic way, but please give my writing a chance 🙏🏽
Mini warnings: Mention of bullets and death of the main character, I think that's all?
When you arrived here, expectations and nervousness went hand in hand, but regardless of how strange and weird everything around you was, hope was something you insisted on having at all times. Tulpar will be a good or at least interesting experience.
You really made friends, don't think you didn't!
Having someone like Anya to talk to in the middle of the night when neither of you could sleep properly was comforting.
The dialogues you and Daisuke had were definitely something interesting, you got along well together, sometimes even Swansea was there too, claiming that two interns together wouldn't be a good idea.
Now, about the captain and him. The captain was actually quite calm, a very understanding man, sometimes he would join you and Anya at night... But he was something else. He could just be someone who was a little stressed and had a weird mood. There are a lot of people like that, right?
You remember talking to him and the captain a few times, but rarely, only when it was really necessary or just to relax.
A year transporting a load among so many stars, a load that you didn't even know what it was initially, it would be good to have a good relationship with the others on the ship, your companions after all.
You start to think as you stare at the sky projected on the huge screen, remembering the little conversation you had with your friend.
"Where do you think you would be if you hadn't come to work here?" Daisuke asks looking at you.
"Hmmm.. probably working in a supermarket I think. That was my option if this one didn't work out, so I would keep sending resumes to see if I could get a better job I think.." You say as you remember your old options, there weren't many, but there were still possibilities. "But what about you?"
"Honestly I don't know, I try to be positive about it.." Daisuke looked insecure and uncertain about where he could be now. "Would we still talk when we get back home? I don't know if I'm going to stay here after all this, their cake isn't the best." He tries to relax.
Out of all the people on this ship, Daisuke was the easiest to talk to and actually build some kind of relationship with, maybe because you two were the most positive in that situation.
Even with that foam everywhere on that ship, lost in a loud silence between the darkness and the stars, you were all going to make it back to Earth.
Maybe because you two were more naive than the others on that ship, the two sanest on that crew.
"Hey, you're a cool guy, I'm sure you'd be working in a good place!" A confident smile appears on your face, trying to dismiss your friend's worries. "Of course we would still talk to each other when we get back, we are friends after all, together here for months"
He smiles positively and you say not to go crazy before you, you laugh but are soon interrupted by Swansea asking what the hell you two were doing up in the middle of the night
It was kind of stupid. Maybe you two should have been a little more realistic about the situation. More than 4 or 5 months, shit, you didn't even have any sense of time anymore. No one had come looking for you yet. Had anyone noticed that you were missing and never contacted Pony Express again?
Sitting with your friends at that table, as if it were the day of that news, with everyone sitting together and the cake for the captain on the table.
Now, with a bullet hole in your forehead, along with your friends and that man, your head tilted to the side, you stare at the sky projected on the broken screen, wondering if this would have worked.
A/n: English is definitely not my first language, so I had a lot of translator help! Sorry for any nonsense words with other words.
I just wanted to write a little bit and I liked Mouthwashing, how the game approaches the theme of work and worker, each character's situation in relation to themselves and the general situation ^^. Feel free to tell me what you think of my writing and if you want me to write something, I wouldn't mind. 🎀
#Mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#tw jimmy#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#curly#anya#daisuke#swansea#we all hate jimmy#mouthwashing x reader#captain curly#daisuke x reader#anya x reader
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you know, i really meant it when i said i'm not going to hold a knife to the throats of the people that are ultimately on my side. i don't hope that you suffer from the policies you've chosen to enable. i don't hope you "get what's coming to you" or any other disgusting thing i've seen people saying. i don't believe in punitive cruelty. i genuinely hope that, miracle of all miracles, trump's presidency somehow manages to be a net positive for everyone. i would love to have egg on my face about him. i don't want anyone to suffer and i'm not going to fight you.
but i'm also not going to take you seriously anymore either. so you didn't vote for kamala harris. okay. what did you do? did you vote for any of the ballot measures? any of the local elections? did you vote in the primary? in the midterms? any election at all? did you do any organizing or campaigning for any of the changes you want to see at all? did you go to a single town hall or city council meeting? are you subscribed to your reps' newsletters? what about your library's? did you go to a protest? have you contacted any of your reps about anything? via email? phone? written letter? fax? did you donate to a single cause–palestine, ukraine, the sudan, abortion funds, LGBT organizations, etc? have you done anything at all besides spread misery and gloat from your very tiny high horse that you are okay with sacrificing everybody's life, including palestinians, as long as you don't personally have to feel bad about it?
i haven't blocked you yet and i cropped your name out but i obviously know who you are. if you can provide a single shred of evidence that you personally have done any one of these things before the timestamp of whenever i end up posting this, i will give you my entire rent for november, no questions asked. you don't even have to use it to donate to a cause you clearly care so much about. you can spend it on candy. and i'm talking anything at all–did you donate a single dollar to esims six months ago? good enough. sign up for a newsletter relevant to your community? great! my rent is yours.
like i said, i don't wish you ill. but i am done treating political rubberneckers who criticize me for my imperfect triage as anything other than children throwing a tantrum. if you want to be taken seriously, fucking do something.
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i have this old west type vibe plot giving me brainrot, so thats all i'll be talking about for days
#its just#giving me so many feelings#and i haven't written in it yet or talked to anyone about it#but alas#its making me feel things#· ⁰¹⁰⁰¹⁰¹⁰ ― ( 𝘰𝘰𝘤 ‚ ❝ unknown error tbh.
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Some things that are implied by Hazbin Hotel canon and Vivsie extras:
Angel was named Anthony, came from a mob family, and speaks Italian
Angel has a New York accent and died in 1947
therefore Angel was an Italian-American who lived through WWII
SO, like, what was that like? How recently did his family come from Italy? Were they considered enemy aliens? Did he enlist? Could he enlist?
and, because shipping brainrot is inescapable:
Husk died in the 1970s in his 60s/70s
So he was born in the 1900s or 10s
He was reaching adulthood in the 20s or 30s, he would be 30-40 in the 1940s
Some people headcanon that Husk served in Vietnam but actually the war he's most likely to have served in is WWII
so, like... did he? Have they talked about it? Throw in the common headcanon that human!Husk was Black and... you know, I can actually see a lot of reasons why he might end up jaded and closed-off even before he got to Hell.
I just want to know so much about what their living lives were like. And what they think about them now. I know we'll never get it in the show because that's not what it's about but man.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin angel dust#angel dust#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel husk#has anyone talked about this yet?#am I late to the party?#I haven't seen any meta about it beyond figuring out everyone's birth years#i've already written a tiny bit of fic about this#just a conversation really#maybe i'll polish it up and post it once i figure out how it ends
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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lila/tanya is. first of all a severely underrated ship but second of all perpetually funny to me because i always picture it in one of two ways, those ways being "seriously angsty enemies to lovers that may or may not also involve william in some way" or "lila has an existential gay crisis because she's never had a crush on anyone before and it's on the ONE girl she's decided to have a (probably one-sided tbh) rivalry with and that's terrible. for her at least. everyone else thinks it's kinda funny"
#william sympathetically letting lila vent to him in the second scenario but inside he's also laughing at her just a little#also just to be clear they don't think it's funny because she's having a crush for the first time they're appropriately sympathetic about#that part. it's moreso that it's on the ONE girl she decided she hated for what seems like (to most people at least) no goddamn reason#even william who knows the reasons knows that they're extremely petty ones so like. she's lucky he's NICE#cuz he could easily make fun of her for it aghkldjflk#who's lila#who's lila?#lila#tanya kennedy#marshy speaks#btw. not that anyone cares lmao but i was gonna say 'write' when i first started writing this post#but i haven't.....written anything for this ship yet. i haven't been working on any of my projects ghkldsajf#i do have aus for both of these thoughts though#for the first one i have a 'lila takes over will but doesn't kill tanya so she just kinda torments her until oops they catch feelings' au#and then i also have a vaguely killing eve inspired au#(don't ask about that one)#(or do idk maybe i do wanna talk about that one ghldsjfl. it Haunts Me)#and for the second one i have an au where lila and will are a system that's. coughvaguelykininspiredcoughhRK#where lila having to deal with her feelings was a major plot point and it just so happened that one of those feelings was her demiromantic#lesbian ass dealing with a crush for the first time OOPS good luck girl#and then also i've been entertaining a regular high school au with human!lila with this ship#idk could be fun. i just think they should be Gay#anyway that's enough tags on this thing if you read this you're basically a saint HGLKDSJFKLSDF
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Don't know if I said it out loud here or not, but idk how much writing I'll be able to get done in these next couple of weeks. I work 39.5 hours this week and next, with only my availability days off as my true "break time", but I usually spend those days with my dad (this Saturday I'm also going to a memorial thing.........yay). So I may just be drained of energy whenever I get home from work, soooo........See you guys when I can / my body and mind say I can!!!!!!
#;big bubble blowing baby! ( ooc )#( i also may have to have a not fun talk with my store manager#because a fall on my knee and ankle from december has been really hurting lately; so i was gonna get the workmans comp / help#but it either was never inputted properly or it closed way too early#because when my mom and i tried to call the people:#1) my boss i did the accident report with never gave me a copy of the report itself#2) the people (to my current knowledge) never called me#3) when we asked our HR for the case number and phone number she gave us both as typos AND the case number was written wrong#on the report itself???????#4) the people couldn't find my case under my name or case number (the woman on the phone was v sweet)#so we've had to reopen the case; get the right case number; make sure i memorize the phone number b/c they should call me#but they haven't called my yet............and my store manager requested the security footage from my fall#it's through corporate not through my store though (the workman's comp) so corporate must've thought it was weird#i promise i'm not trying to rip anyone off or cause trouble; i just want my knee and ankle to feel better;;#i also don't want him getting on my case of “well you do your job / you don't look like you hurt” because i will -#i'm one of the most hardworking in my part of the store. my mom and i aren't going to stop just b/c we hurt#we're trying to do our best jobs for the store despite pain#if they wanted me to complain about every time i hurt i would#i would gladly sit on a chair at a checklane all day if possible#all the scenarios for a talk are just running through my head rn and i'm like gfhggfkgfhgfcgckhjfg#i get in before my mom tomorrow............she said if he has to talk i can wait until she gets there so we can all talk together#i love my mom........so sweet.........i'd hate if she had to pay for anything )
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GUMROAD IS BANNING NSFW CONTENT IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS
I haven't seen anyone talk about this yet, so I might as well.
They've updated their content policy to comply with payment processor Stripe and Paypal's censorhip. They gave 24 hours. On March 16th 2024, Gumroad TOS will no longer allows sales of any written or drawn nsfw content.
This is going to hurt for so many creators. Giving that little time leaves people's source of income wildly unstable, especially with such a huge overhaul of what content is allowed.
I hate this. I hate what censorship is turning the internet into. I hate that nsfw content creators keeo getting pushed to the fringes, that they need to digitally migrate so often, because nowhere can be trusted to allow their art for long.
I don't know what to do next, there isn't some sort of "here's what you can do to help!" People just deserve to know.
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a quick note before i shower and then get all silly about these hugs: you're welcome to send me fluffy memes as a first interaction between our muses! most of the time i can work with that bc fluff is one of my favorite things to write, and i'm 100% okay with jumping into the middle of a dynamic and figuring out the details afterwards. plus it honestly tells me a good little bit about how your muse might mesh with mine depending on how they, for example, decide to hug my muse. so always go for it!! i'm never gonna be mad if you do!!
#and if i have questions i'll poke at ya and talk about our dorks a lil while i'm writing my response#so seriously never be nervous to just mush our muses together into a dynamic <3#alrighty i'll be back soon! gotta do my nighttime routine bc there's gonna be some errands to run tomorrow uvu#get ready to ramble | ooc#also just wanted to say this bc i know i indulge in fluff probably the most often out of the genres i write? so i don't want anyone#feeling like they can't participate bc we haven't written yet!
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There's been some new info about season 6 and the new Special episodes to come, but I haven't seen anyone talking about it on tumblr.
So I'm taking the liberty of making a summary:
Season 6:
-Sébastien Thibaudeau (the show's writing director) has announced that writing for season 6 is complete. There will be several new writers this season.
-Thomas Astruc has shared an image showing him working on the storyboard for a season 6 episode.
-I'm just coming back to something that was said several months ago since some people don't seem to know: All the animation studios that worked on seasons 1 to 5 will no longer be animating the next seasons of Miraculous. The series is getting a visual upgrade. And ZAG has shared a preview of the new sets for the coming seasons.
-Now we know that the new animation studio to work on the next seasons of miraculous is DWARF. This French animation studio worked on the Miraculous movie.
Special episode:
-The new special "The end of Ladybug" (whose name is only provisional) will take place this year before season 6 airs. This will be the last time Miraculous will be animated in the style we've known since season 1. (No word yet on whether SAMG will continue to animate future special episodes.)
-The dubbing of this special has already been done in English.
(Remember: just because an episode has been dubbed doesn't mean it's ready for broadcast. The dubbing can be done while the animation of the episode is not yet finished).
Other specials:
-Thomas would like the next special episode to take place in Japan.
-Thomas said he had already written the Brazil special episode as well as the Bible for a spin-off. He has also written many other stories in the Miraculous universe, but for reasons unknown to him, nothing seems to be moving to adapt these stories for animation or comics. He asks fans who would like to see these projects come to reality to put pressure on ZAG. (politely, of course).
-Thomas retweeted a fan who created a petition so that the special Tibet episode could one day be made.
-He also explained one of the reasons why Miraculous could not be animated in the Ladybug PV style.
He asks fans who would like to watch Miraculous with this style of animation to petition ZAG, Mediawan or Toei.
I may do more posts like this when I have new information, if you're interested of course (I'll never share spoilers or leaks, don't worry).
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One thing I haven't seen talked about is Crystal's character arc, and specifically the way the timing of it interacts with Charles' arc. They stumble over each other in the worst possible way en route to their respective character growth, and from a narrative perspective, it's absolutely genius.
I'm going to preface all this by saying: none of this is a criticism of Crystal. Part of what makes her such a dynamic, refreshing character is that you don't get to see women in fiction written the way she's been written. You don't get to see women with her flaws that aren't throw-away mean girls or villains. You especially don't get to see women with her traits who learn and grow and become better people. So yeah, I'm going to talk about Crystal's character flaws. No, this isn't Crystal hate. We love our girl in this house. Okay? Okay. Let's start.
Crystal's character arc, at its heart, is all about her learning to be a better person because she has good influences that love and support her for the first time.
When the show starts, Crystal is not a nice person. She's abrasive in a way that's specifically designed to push people away. She's used to getting her own way, and it shows. She's used to having no meaningful connections with anyone, and it shows. She's breathtakingly selfish, in the very literal sense of the definition. She is focused on her self. Her problems are front and center to her; everything is about what she needs, and what she wants, and how she's struggling.
Jenny calls her out very early on. In episode one, Crystal is complaining about the boys, and Jenny, for all her cynicism, strikes right at the heart of the problem. She tells Crystal, "Everybody is always thinking about themselves, all the time." People only care about their own problems. And she says, correctly, that that's what Crystal is doing, too.
This moment is a revelation for Crystal. For the first time, she considers what her behavior looks like from another person's perspective. As she says, she gets mad at herself over it, and that awareness allows her to do something selfless for the first time in the series. She takes a step back and insists that instead of focusing on her problems, they go to help a little girl. It's a big moment for her.
But importantly, she's not done growing as a character here. She's only just getting started.
On my first watch through, I didn't realize how often, over the next few episodes, Crystal redirects things to her problems during conversation, but it's quite a lot. She's still focused on herself – selfish, in that most literal definition of the word. The issues most important to her are her issues. She's starting to learn to think about other people, but she's not there yet. The process is still underway.
Which brings us to Charles.
Charles' arc is a different sort of self-reflection. He's terrified that he's a bad person the way his father was and the way the boys that killed him were.
During the course of the show, he gets systematically stripped of his confidence and made to feel helpless, and just like Crystal needs outside influences to help her reach a more stable place, Charles does, too. He desperately needs reassurance that he isn't everything he's afraid he is.
But my goodness, the timing in their arcs is such a trainwreck when you put them together, and it is brilliant.
Let's start with the Devlin House.
Crystal has some amazing character growth here. She displays genuine concern about Charles, makes an attempt at comforting him, and learns to work with Edwin even though she still doesn't particularly like him at this point.
Charles, meanwhile, is beginning to fall apart. He's just had the worst night of his afterlife. He's been viscerally reminded of how helpless he is. He couldn't stop the Devlins from being killed over and over, just like he couldn't stop his own father's abuse. He messed up his attempted rescue so badly that he was completely out of commission until the case was finished. He managed to help not one single thing. He made no impact at all. He couldn't help those girls any more than he was able to help himself, while he was still alive.
So they get back to the butcher shop, and what do we see? Monty immediately coopts Edwin. Niko doesn't know what's happened because she wasn't there and Charles has been all fake smiles with her. And Crystal goes off with Niko, leaving Charles to flounder on his own in the wake of everything. She's still learning how to support other people. She isn't there yet, and it's extremely on display in this moment.
Then we get the lighthouse episode, and they both get put through the wringer here. Crystal gets her hopes and expectations jerked around by the Night Nurse in the very worst way, and Charles gets hit with a whole pile full of trauma. All that helplessness wells to the forefront again. Combined with being forced to relive some of his worst memories and the desperation to keep Edwin safe from hell, Charles lets himself act on his anger for once.
And what does he get in the aftermath? Horror.
Everyone who cares about him is horrified by what he's done. Edwin goes so far as to call it extreme. They don't know the half of it, of course; they haven't seen what the Night Nurse just put him through. But in this moment Charles is at his absolute lowest, and all he sees is confirmation that he's exactly as terrible as he thinks he is.
That's why Charles shrugs off Edwin's attempt at comfort, here. When he needed to be able to do something to protect Edwin and also himself – when he needed to believe that he could be better than what his father always was – all he sees is the confirmation from the people he cares about most that when push came to shove, he really is a bad guy.
Then comes the aftermath. And this moment is such a brilliant, awful clash of both of their character arcs. It is so delightfully messy.
Because Charles starts to open up to Crystal here. He starts to lay himself bare, the way he ends up doing with Edwin in episode 5. He's on the verge of admitting something that he's been worried about for literal decades. He tells her, "I've been angry for such a long time."
And what does Crystal do? She's still in the midst of her own character growth. She's still struggling to support other people. She's still learning how to. In a lot of ways, though she's made progress already, she's still that selfish girl that Jenny called out in the very first episode.
And she shows it here it with the absolute worst possible timing. No sooner has Charles started to talk about what's bothering him than she cuts in with her own problems. She's tired of riddles and spirits and demons and not knowing who she is. And the look on Charles' face. The moment when he visibly sets aside his own problems, because Crystal doesn't need any more disasters on her plate? It's heartbreaking. You can actually track the subtle change in his expression there. The actor does a phenomenal job.
And then comes the kiss. And what spurs it? Crystal saying she needs something real.
This moment isn't about light-hearted attraction, the way the earlier flirting is. It's Charles setting aside what he needs – comfort and reassurance and a moment to talk through the things that have been tearing him apart – to give her what she says she wants. He can't even feel it. And Crystal isn't far enough along in her character growth here to realize how selfish she's being. Like Jenny said way back in episode one, she's only thinking about herself.
And then comes the absolute unmitigated disaster of episode 5.
Straight out the gate, Charles leans in for a kiss. From his perspective, they have something together; there's affection there. Charles "I think I'd miss kissing" Rowland, who has been starved for meaningful physical contact for thirty years, is not in a hurry to give this up.
But Crystal is fresh out of a nightmare where she conflates Charles with her abusive ex. She withdraws; she calls what they had a distraction. She cuts it off almost as soon as it's started, so focused on her own worries here that she misses how damn fake Charles' smile is, to cover up that he's coming to pieces.
To be clear, she's absolutely not in the wrong here. It is 1000% her prerogative not to jump into a relationship again while she's still struggling to work through what happened with David. But the arc of her narrative is still early enough that she does it all without so much as the awareness that her focus on her own issues has hurt Charles terribly.
And then the episode really kicks off, and both of them are in shambles in very different ways.
Crystal is projecting her issues with David onto Charles. She has a lot of history, and David seems as though he's exactly the right sort of toxic to leave lasting a lasting impact. But Charles hasn't done anything to deserve her assumptions, and he takes the brunt of her temper here and throughout the episode.
Charles is desperately projecting onto the dead jocks. He very badly wants them to be good guys, because he sees himself in them and he needs himself to be a good guy. He snipes back at Crystal for the very first time in this episode, and he does it in the worst way possible, accidentally prodding her where it will do the most damage.
They're both hurting. They both say some truly painful things to one another.
She does not need to hear that she has unsorted hangups about David still plaguing her while she's unable to move past them. He desperately does not need anyone to tell him that he has rage issues while he's still struggling to think of himself as a decent person.
They apologize, in the end. They start to move past it.
But it's telling that Charles doesn't try to open up to Crystal again. He goes to Edwin instead, even though Edwin is the one who called his actions regarding the Night Nurse extreme. He gets the reassurance he needs so badly; he gets the connection he was looking for with Crystal from Edwin, instead. (I have a lot of thoughts on why Charles initially tries to open up to Crystal so quickly, but it is very much an aside, and this is already extremely long, so it will have to wait for another write-up.)
But the important thing here is, Edwin is the one to offer Charles what he needs to overcome the self-doubt eating him alive. Edwin provides the physical affection Charles was seeking in the form of that long-overdue hug. Edwin is the one who's able to reaffirm for him that he's not just a good guy, he's the best person Edwin knows.
And for all intents and purposes, Charles' major character arc ends here.
Charles has a few last little moments to go on the path to rebuilding his own self-image, after this, but for the most part his concerns have been resolved. He saves Crystal in episode 6 and Edwin in episode 7, proving to himself that he's able to make a difference in the face of overwhelming odds. He's not helpless, no matter what the Night Nurse told him; he can be a force for good in the world. By the end of the series, his crisis of self-doubt seems to have been largely overcome.
But it's the conversation with Edwin at the end of episode 5 that really allows him to work through his most pressing issues. Edwin is there to help support him when he stumbles. Edwin provides him the comfort he was looking for while Crystal was too worried about her own problems to notice how badly he needed the help.
Crystal, meanwhile, still has a ways to go after episode 5. The last three episodes are where she does her most important character growth.
In episode 6, she learns some hard lessons about keeping secrets and letting people help and appreciate you even when you can't offer them anything in return. And Charles, importantly, is there for her every step of the way. He consistently offers her physical and emotional support. He models for her, in a very real way, what it looks like to have someone prop you up when you need the help.
And in turn, Crystal steps in to save the boys. She's the big damn hero at the end of this episode.
The breakthrough continues into episode 7. She's so intent on helping to get Edwin out of hell that she literally goes to face her own demons, not for herself for once – not for her own purposes or needs or wants – but because she wants to help someone else.
And episode 8, at long last, brings her to the culmination of her character arc.
Crystal is at her absolute lowest here. Her family, the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally, didn't even realize she was gone. Her precious memories, that she's spent the entire series trying to regain, have showed her that she's not the person she hoped she would be. She's overwhelmed enough that she means to flee, to cut herself off from her new friends entirely.
Then the boys get kidnapped. And just like that, she makes up her mind.
For the first time since the start of the series, she sets aside her most important issues in order to let what other people need take precedence. She disregards all of her own personal concerns and focuses instead on others. She's finally stepped out of those selfish impulses that Jenny calls her out on, all the way back in the first episode. She's finally learned how to support other people when they need it.
Crystal has finally figured out how to be there for others, despite having troubles of her own.
It's a lovely arc, and it's beautifully done.
Charles' is just as touching.
And god damn, but it was a brilliant narrative choice to have their character arcs line up in exactly the wrong way.
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i love you, i'm sorry [QH43]
quinn hughes x fem!reader
word count: 2.9k
summary: two years after breaking things off with Quinn, you find yourself going to Game 1 of Round 2 of the Playoffs, completely unprepared to see the man you still harbour feelings for.
based off of: this is loosely based off of I Love You, I'm Sorry by Gracie Abrams
warnings: aggressive amounts of pining (like, probably annoying), two swear words, a few kisses, mentions of a breakup (so like, kinda angst? idk man), copious amounts of cheesiness, probably extremely inaccurate descriptions of the game, not great writing lol. let me know if i missed anything!
author's note: okay, i haven't written anything on here yet due to a horrendous case of writer's block and many hours of working. so, this is definitely not my best work, but it was a fun way to try move past my writing slump. i really do hope that anyone who reads this does enjoy! love, addi <3
Vancouver’s streets preserve memories well. You found that out when, even two years after things had fallen to pieces, you couldn’t go anywhere without seeing the two of you holding hands, sharing quiet laughs, and stealing kisses. You’d thought that after two years you would’ve been able to shake those memories off when they plagued your mind; but it was hard when he was plastered across banners and fans sported his jersey for half the year.
He was making his name known throughout the NHL, and you couldn’t ignore the buzz around Quinn Hughes when the Canucks made it to the Stanley Cup Playoffs.
After you and Quinn had broken things off, you had to find separate friend groups to belong in. The two of you had shared too many mutual friends. The group of ladies you did manage to find yourself among knew nothing about your past relationship with the captain of the Canucks. When the city was gearing up for the first round of the playoffs, even your friends couldn’t stop talking about the sport.
You were standing outside, leaning against the railing on a BC ferry, returning from visiting family on the Island, when you received a call from your friend Lydia. You picked up without hesitation.
“Hey, what’s up?” you asked.
She immediately giggled, which honestly had you a little scared. “I have a surprise,” she said excitedly, the last word dragged out.
You snorted. “Am I allowed to ask what it is?”
“It’s a really big surprise, and you have to promise not to scream when I tell you,” she laughed, acting like a teenage girl again. It was one of the things you really did love about her – her ability to bring childlike joy with her wherever she went.
“I promise not to scream, Lyd,” you assured her, hoping she was satisfied.
She paused for dramatic effect, and you let her. You knew she was having fun with it.
“We’re going to the first game of round 2 of the playoffs!” she squealed.
Your phone nearly slipped through your fingers, almost lost to the sea. You stepped away from the railing, suddenly very glad there was no one on the deck with you. Your heart clenched in your chest. The last time you had been to a game was when you and Quinn had still been together. He wouldn’t even know you were in the crowd, but you would be painfully aware of him in the centre of the arena.
“Okay, you’re even quieter than I thought you’d be,” Lydia commented, reminding you that there was someone on the other end of the line.
You debated for a moment what to say. Would it best to just blurt out that you had dated Quinn Hughes and you were not exactly ready to go watch him play again? Definitely not.
“Uh, yeah, I’m just surprised!” That wasn’t a lie. “How’d you get the tickets?”
“My dad,” she said simply. “When I told him I wanted to go see the Canucks, he was suddenly the proudest parent in the world. You know how he is – once he gets an idea in his head, whether it’s planted there by me or not, he has to do it.”
“Wow, that’s–that’s crazy!” you said stiffly, still unsure of how to act.
“Yeah, and it gets better! We’re sitting right behind the Canucks’ bench!”
You nearly choked on nothing. “What?”
“I know, right? I don’t know how my dad managed it, but he did,” she told you, completely unaware of your stuttering heart. “Who knows, maybe we’ll catch some players’ eyes,” she joked, and you tried to force a laugh out with her.
“Yeah, maybe.” What you didn’t add out loud was your brain screaming please no.
After a few more minutes of chatting and you pretending to be completely sound of mind, Lydia said goodbye, telling you she would send the details soon.
You pocketed your phone and leaned against the railing once more. You watched as the sun brushed the horizon, casting a beautiful pink against the clouds. Vancouver was getting close, and for obvious reasons, you were suddenly dreading it. You wanted to sit on the ferry until it returned to Vancouver Island.
You sighed and rested your chin on your folded arms. You heard a faint buzzing sound above you, and lifted your eyes to the sky. A plane was coming to land at the Vancouver Airport. As it approached, you let yourself imagine it was Quinn flying back from Nashville, and you felt your heart tighten in your chest once more, because you were terrified to see him again, but also because you still missed him. Maybe you were scared to see him because you missed him.
You dropped your forehead to your arms once more and groaned loudly, the ocean and the brightening city lights your only listening companions.
When the morning of May 8th arrived, you found yourself unable to shake the anxiety that had made a home in your chest over the last few days. There was a tenseness in your shoulders that never left, and a squeezing at your heart that seemed relentless.
The group chat you shared with your friends had been buzzing incessantly, the girls incredibly excited. Every now and then you made your fingers put a message out there that hopefully hid your anxieties from them.
After much procrastination, you eventually made your way to your closet. After tugging on a simple pair of blue jeans, you reached towards the back of your closet. Your fingers closed around the unmistakable, thick material of the jersey. Taking a deep breath, you pulled it out. Your only Canucks jersey of course, had to be Quinn’s home jersey from two seasons ago. No one would know it was the jersey that he had pulled over his head before every home game. However, you knew. There was no C on the left side of the chest, and your mind was pulled back to the relationship you had shared.
You often questioned why you and Quinn had even ended things. You missed him so much still, and you were plagued by the way you knew it had been the wrong choice. You had been growing apart as he was dealing with growing attention and expectations within his career, and a promotion at your own job had stolen your energy and attention. You had both been tired and short with one another, and eventually the tension built and had blown up in a terrible way.
You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to force both the guilt and continued yearning out of your busy mind.
When Lydia texted that she and the girls were on the way to your apartment, you reluctantly pulled the jersey over your head. The sleeves covered most of your hands, and the fabric fell past your hips and part way down your thighs. You pulled on a pair of shoes and left the safe space that was your apartment, locking the door behind you.
Rogers Arena was packed and the energy in the building made you feel like you could start vibrating. You and your friends held hands so as not to get separated. You were glad when your friends made no comment on how tightly you squeezed their hands, or how sweaty your palms might have been.
You were made significantly more nervous when you realised that Lydia had not been exaggerating about your seats. You were sitting right behind the bench.
The arena was filling up steadily, and you sat there in between your friends, not speaking a single word. It had been a couple years since you had been here, and while you were very nervous, the familiarity came rushing back to you and it helped to slow your fast beating heart.
If you closed your eyes, you could imagine Quinn smiling at you from the other side of the glass, and laughing when you blew him a kiss.
You wrapped your arms gently around yourself, the once very stiff material of the jersey now very easily shifted and manipulated. You knew it didn’t smell like him anymore, but when you let yourself get lost in the feeling of his old jersey, it was like he was right there. You were wrapped in him still, and you doubted it would ever go away.
You were shocked out of your own thoughts when your friends, along with the rest of the fans around you, started cheering. The Canucks and the Oilers were on the ice, starting to warm up. Your eyes searched the ice quickly, and gliding easily across the ice on the opposite side of rink, was the captain, the number 43 embroidered on his jersey, just like the one you adorned.
Your own cheeks heated up when it really hit you that you were wearing his old jersey. You weren’t together anymore; what were you thinking? He could see you– what would he think when he saw you right behind his bench, wearing the jersey he had gifted you?
You suddenly wanted to throw up more than ever. He exchanged a few words with Elias, and laughed at something his buddy had said. Your heart ached in longing once more. You had missed his laugh so much.
Quinn now had facial hair, something he hadn’t had when he was with you. His hair was longer, peeking out from beneath his helmet. He already seemed much more grown up. He looked like a captain, something who had become used to leading his team. Quinn had always been somewhat confident in his abilities as a hockey player, but it was easy to tell that he had really gotten used to his role on the team and had come into his own over the past two years.
The girls grabbed your hands and walked into the aisle, just to get right up to the glass. Your face burned and you tried to hide behind some of your friends. You kept your heads down and your arms folded.
Your friends held up hats and other paraphernalia that they desperately wanted signed by players.
“Y/N!” One of your friends practically shouted. You suddenly noticed that they had all stopped cheering. You looked up to see them parted in front of you.
Quinn was on the other side of the glass, looking right at you.
Your friends shoved you up the glass, giggling and squealing. You nearly ran into the glass from the force of their shoves. Quinn laughed at you, his smile exactly how you remembered it.
He pointed at the white Canucks towel in your hands and shouted, “toss it over!” The arena was so loud you were glad he had mouthed it clearly. You hesitated but threw the towel over. With one glove off and in the other hand, he caught it. He gestured to one of your friends to throw over the Sharpie she was holding. She did gladly, happy to be included. He caught it easily and started to write quickly on the white fabric. Your heart did flips while watching him, and your hands shook with nothing to hold onto.
He finally capped the pen and threw both the towel and marker over the glass. You struggled to catch it, but thankfully, you managed to hold onto it. You held it flat before you.
Meet me by my car after. Usual spot. Your breath stopped slightly when you saw a rushed heart drawn next to the words. You looked back up to see him putting his glove back on. He gave you a warm smile that set you on a fire from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. You took a deep breath and nodded to him. His smile widened slightly. Before he turned to skate away, you saw him mouth the words, “nice jersey.” You stuttered for a second, and he simply winked and turned.
Your friends all screamed and crowded you, looking at the towel.
“Usual spot? What the fuck is going on?” Lydia yelled over the noise, cackling.
You just blushed and shook your head, returning to your seat with the towel gripped tightly in your hands.
As the teams continued to warm up, you explained as quickly as you could that you and Quinn had once been together. Your friends, of course, were shocked but also very excited for you at the prospect of reuniting with him. You simply waved your hands in protest.
“I don’t even know if he wants to get back together with me! He might just want to catch up or something… we’re cool now and I don’t want to mess anything up.”
“Girl, please!” one of your friends shouted. “He drew a motherfucking heart and winked at you! Of course he wants you back.”
You all laughed and you embraced the next blush that warmed your cheeks.
The players left the ice, and minutes later, the lights went dark. The deafening sound of nearly 19,000 people screaming almost broke your eardrums. Blue light filled the room, and you looked up to see what was playing on the large screens above you.
You watched the intro video and let a nostalgic, giddy feeling overtake you. You couldn’t help but smile.
The arena fell back into nearly full darkness. You heard the beginning of a familiar sound of twinkly guitar that dragged you right back to 2011. Goosebumps rose up along your skin all over your body. That was the last time the Canucks had made it to the Playoff finals, and you hoped dearly that they could get there again. The playing of Where The Streets Have No Name from their intro from 2011 made hope take hold of you.
You couldn’t help but raise your particularly special white rally towel in the air to wave alongside all of the other Canucks fans in the building.
It had been surprisingly easy to get into the players’ parking garage. Despite it being two years since you had been in the building, you were recognized by several people, who let you walk wherever you wanted.
Your friends had practically shoved you to go after the game, screaming after you to call them later. You had laughed and walked away, your steps lighter than they had been in a long while.
You later found yourself standing by Quinn’s car. It was the same one he’d had when you had been together. Your hand brushed the shining hood of the car, and you could see yourself in the passenger seat, laughing at something he’d said as the two of you drove around downtown Vancouver.
“Thank God you actually showed up.”
You whipped around, seeing a freshly showered Quinn in sweatpants and a hoodie making his way towards you.
You tugged on the hem of the jersey, your heart beating quicker and quicker with every step he took.
He stopped in front of you, and when you looked up, you both spoke.
“I love you.”
“I’m sorry.”
Your eyes nearly popped out of your head. “You-what?”
He bit his bottom lip before repeating himself. “I love you. I know it’s been two years, but-”
“I love you, too,” you said quickly, blood roaring in your ears. “And I am so, so sorry. I never should’ve-”
It was his turn to cut you off. “Don’t apologise, please. It’s not your fault.”
“Can you… can you please accept my apology, at least?”
He smiled softly. “I forgive you. I’m sorry, too.”
“I forgive you, too,” you whispered softly, your heart swelling with affection as you looked at him. You felt an intense relief flood your body. Your shoulders finally relaxed for the first time in what felt like years. He reached out and wrapped you in a warm hug. You melted into it, returning the gesture.
“I missed you. So much,” you mumbled into his hoodie.
One of hands gently scratched the back of your neck like he used to do. “I missed you, too.” He pulled away just enough to lean down and kiss your lips softly. Nothing had ever felt so natural. His playoff beard scratched your face and you laughed at the sensation, pulling away.
“Not used to the beard,” you admitted, smiling widely.
He smiled, too. “Yeah, what do you think? Should I keep it around?”
You shrugged, leaning back into him. “Well, you’re very handsome either way.”
“You think?”
“Mhm. Your hair also looks very good. I like it longer like this,” you told him, ruffling his brown hair. He swatted your hand away and kissed your cheek.
“Noted.” He looked down at me again. “Should probably get you a new jersey.”
“Hm, you think I need the big ole C on here, Captain?”
He shook his head, blushing. “Don’t call me that.”
You laughed, wrapping your arms around him, bringing his head down for you to kiss. “Couldn’t help myself.” You grabbed his hands. “Congratulations on the big win, by the way.”
“I can’t believe you came. I thought I was hallucinating or something when I saw you,” he told you honestly.
“Well, I’m glad I came,” you admitted, running a hand through his hair.
“You have no idea how happy I am right now,” he said, smiling wider than you had seen all night.
You laughed, feeling pure joy in your heart. “I think I might have an idea.”
#quinn hughes#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes x y/n#quinn hughes x you#nhl#nhl players#nhl imagine#nhl hockey#quinn hughes fanfiction#qh43#vancouver canucks#nhl x reader#nhl x you#nhl x y/n#canucks hockey#canucks#quinn hughes fluff#quinn hughes angst#quinn hughes fanfic#quinn hughes fic#nhl fic#nhl fanfiction
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Detective Oblivious - Various Genshin Characters x GN! Reader
★ Summary: Your best friend lately has been acting strange. Could they have a crush on someone?! You have to get to the bottom of it…though perhaps you can start by noticing how they look at you
☆ Characters Included (Separate): Alhaitham, Ayato, Kazuha, Xiao, Yelan, Ningguang
★ Genre/Trope: Romantic + Fluff + Maybe a bit of Crack
☆ Warnings: None
★ Extra: HSR Ver Here // Semi-Proof Read
Honestly I don't blame you for not noticing Alhaitham likes you. He's very hard to read. But at the same time, it doesn't take a detective to notice how he's more careful with his words when talking to you. He doesn't necessarily care what you think of him, even if he likes you, however he does wish for you to see him in a more positive light.
So even though you've been friends for so long, his sudden change in how he talks to you is so you can hopefully see how he feels about you as he believes you'd be able to notice but well...much to his dismay and annoyance, you don't.
You got the part that he likes someone, but not that those feelings are directed towards you. Have you not seen the longing stares he gives you when you're doing anything? How he's more lenient in what you're doing?? How when he was The Acting Grand Sage, how he always looked over anything you wrote to him first???
Clearly not as, as when he enters his home he can see you talking to Kaveh to see if he knows anything about who he likes. Kaveh, noticing him behind you, simply smiled. Although Alhaitham wants to confess to you, he'd rather him telling you directly or you finding out yourself without the need of help from others. And Kaveh knew this...
"Oh, he likes yo-"
A book was suddenly thrown at Kaveh as the Scribe quickly took you away.
"Wh- hey! He was going to tell me something"
"Didn't want him to say something I should be saying...I should be the one telling you I like you"
Many people caught on to the way Ayato treated you differently towards others, in fact. Both Ayaka and Thoma knew he liked you before he himself knew. Yet, why was it that everyone but you knew how much he held you dear to his heart?
Ayato never had much free time to be frank, however unlike his other friends and even family. He would never send anyone as many gifts as he did to you. Anytime you liked something you'd have it delivered to your house right away. You always thanked him for it, beaming as you looked at it. Although you did slightly feel bad as some of the things you off handily mention wanting are quite expensive. But the Commissioner doesn't care. Seeing that smile is enough for him.
What he does care about however, is how dense you are towards his acts of affection. As stated, he gives you more gifts than anyone else he knows. But another thing he does that he's surprised doesn't get you to catch on, is him "jokingly" calling your Mx Kamisato (he's half joking, he does want to marry you)
What surprises him more is that you somehow think it's directed to someone else?? You question him on who he's referring to even though he was looking directly at you.
Eventually he gently backs you into a corner and makes you face him, turning your chin towards him.
"My dear...I've tried everything but you don't get the hint. So I'll say it here...I love you~"
You found some poems that Kazuha had written, and it's about someone. In fact, it's about someone romantically. This caused you to quickly search for who said love poem is about.
One of the kids witnessed you ranting to yourself about who could've taken the samurai's heart and told Beidou, who then found it amusing enough to tell Kazuha who at first laughs it off before realising you've likely read the poems he wrote. He is thankful you haven't found out it's about you, but at the same time. He doesn't think you've met anyone that's like you, and the love poem does describe you near perfectly. Still...at least you haven't found out?
He watches from a small distance as you glance at him before looking away. This happens a lot, especially when he's talking to a friend who questions your behaviour. In fact, you've done this so much that people assume you're Kazuha's partner and want his attention. They even comment about it to which you both politely explain that you're just friends.
Eventually though, he makes no comment when someone assumes the two of you are dating, which makes you question him which leads to you finally figuring out who the love poem is about.
"Wait so...the love poems..."
"Is about you yes, I like you"
I can see him being quite confused himself when he realises he likes someone and might even tell you about how he's feeling. He won't directly say who it is but he tells enough to let you know he's fallen DEEP in love with someone.
Now the two of you are trying to figure out just who's the one making his heart beat faster and clouding his mind. In truth, Xiao quickly realizes it's you that's causing it. But he can't tell you, he's a bit too flustered to tell you, especially with how cute you look trying to figure it out yourself.
So he lets the search go on, he allows you to drag him to meet various people and see if he feels his heart beating faster. And while it does, that's only because you're beside him. Nothing else. He was happy enough to let you guess till you gave up, he didn't think you'd like him back anyways.
However Hu Tao would beg to differ, she's been listening to you rant about how you loved Xiao and all that stuff. In fact, she's even heard from Zhongli that Xiao likes you. So when you come along with the Adeptus in tow and ask him if he feels any different towards her. She has a feeling she knows what's going on. And why not play matchmaker?
"You don't feel anything at all?"
"No..."
The funeral directly quickly piped up, gently pushing you into Xiao's arms and watching his face burst into shades of crimson.
"What about now? Having the love of your life in your arms is bound to make you feel something right?"
She...out right flirts with you. And not in a way to get info from you, just...actual flirting. Yelan knows what she wants and tends to get what she wants. More so in terms of information, but she also wants you and will try anything to make you realize her feelings for you.
She probably knows you like her as well, so this should be easy right? Just flirt with you and you'll get the picture right?...Yeah...
"I would love to spend the future with you y'know darling~ Especially in the same house"
"Oh that would be great"
"Exa-"
"Rent would be so much cheaper if we were roommates"
She...finds your obliviousness cute...in a weird way though. She finds it even more cute that you do in fact recognize her flirting eventually...but think she's using you as practice. Now she spots you trying to figure out who it is so you can help her more. And "act" like her crush. She does need to eventually tell you so you can stop searching, I mean. The answer is clear if you look in a mirror.
"C'mon Lanlan, you need to tell who you actually like"
"Hm? Oh but I am sweetie~"
Ningguang is obviously highly respected and of course has her own set of admirers. You used to see her reading each letter with care and consideration before laughing. Not in a hateful way, truly she's grateful people like her that much. But recently she seems to read them a bit faster, seemingly searching for one name in particular.
It's clear to you she wants a certain person to be in her pile of confession letters. And you'll figure out who. I mean, what better way to help your friend then finding out who she likes and seeing if they like her back right :D
Well...word got to her that you've been searching through some of her things, nothing personal but just around her office. Not to mention observing her more closely lately which she plays off as you being interested in what she has to say. But when she hears that you've apparently scared a poor soul with some of your questioning she goes to confront you.
To which you weakly explain you want to help her find out if her crush likes her back or not. She simply laughs a bit, surprised. She's been giving you special treatment ever since she found out her feelings for you. You've been given bigger discounts because she just cannot let her "darling" pay so much. Alongside other things she thought were obvious hints in the hopes you'll write her a confession letter.
"Well...if you want to help me find out if they like me back, answer me this"
"Yeah?"
"Do you like me?"
Anyone else find it hard to know when someone likes them? Cuz I do, hence this idea sprang forth. Not all the characters included are ones I simp for but I thought it would be interesting to add them (I literally only simp for Alhaitham and Ayato out of the characters included tbh nsoaorgr)
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin x you#genshin impact x you#genshin imagines#Alhaitham x Reader#Alhaitham x You#Ayato x Reader#Ayato x You#Kazuha x Reader#Kazuha x You#Xiao x Reader#Xiao x You#Yelan x Reader#Yelan x You#Ningguang x Reader#Ningguang x You#Kamisato Ayato x Reader#Kamisato Ayato x You
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{bad idea... right? - kuroo t.}
yes I know that he’s my ex, but can’t two people reconnect?//…I just tripped and fell into his bed.
kuroo x fem!reader smut. exes to lovers. 18+ MDNI please.
in which you and your ex "reconnect" after almost half a year apart, but with so many unresolved feelings, it'll either end up being the best or worst idea you've ever had.
warnings: fem!reader, no physical description (aside from specific genitalia ofc). university setting. smut, mentions of alcohol/getting drunk but no drunk sex, lots of feelings/kinda mutual pining. praise kink, a little bit of voice kink, very brief jealous reader, cunnilingus, body worship, teasing, lots of pet names in lieu of y/n, soft dom!kuroo and sub!reader, very. very. soft, kinda emotional sex, aftercare and fluff towards the end. porn with a bit of plot/build up. this fic is my baby.
a trope I never thought I'd write plus a genre I've never written before? apparently so. it's my first time writing smut, so constructive criticism is welcomed, being rude is not. can you believe I started this over the summer ‘23 and I'm only posting it now?
and lmk if I need to add anything else to the warnings :)
divider credit to: @/cafekitsune
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this truly had the potential to be one of your worst ideas yet.
you weren't even going to be at this damn party to begin with, but your friend finally convinced you to go with her after a week of wearing you down.
"it'll be fun, c'mon!" she begged.
the only reason you didn't want to go was because you were finally done with your first semester of classes and wanted to wind down in peace, not at a crowded house party filled with loud music and sweaty drunk university students.
but of course you relented when she pulled out the puppy dog eyes and played the "but we haven't hung out in months, I miss you!" card.
so there you were by the snacks and refreshments table, dressed up and nursing a drink, talking and laughing with your friends. truthfully, you were having a better time than you thought you would and figured that you had almost a month before classes started back up again to relax.
"soooo? has anyone caught your eye yet?" multiple faces focused their attention on you.
you knew part of the reason your friend had insisted on you going with her was to help you meet someone. she'd never admit it, but it was pretty obvious with the way she was pointing out people left and right, making note of how attractive they were. at one point she had even "accidentally" pushed you into one of her targets, which had made for some very awkward small-talk on your end with someone you had zero interest in and some giggling from her.
it's not that you were opposed to the idea of finding someone, but in all honesty, no one had caught your eye. recently you had gotten out of a long long term relationship, and starting over after that just seemed so... unappealing to you.
it also seemed unfair to start anything new when you were very much not over him. breaking up in the middle of the semester had made it really easy for you to push down any emotions and throw yourself into your studies. but it didn't change the fact that you missed him. even now, the party acted as a good distraction for you.
or so you thought.
you were about to respond when your phone buzzed. you looked down and your heart leapt into your throat when you saw the contact name.
it felt strange seeing it as "kuroo" rather than some version of his given name or a pet name. once you hit the one minute mark of just staring at the text notification in shock, your friend peeked over your shoulder and gasped a little.
"you didn't block him?!"
you snatched your phone out of her hand after she stole it to show your group of friends.
"why would I? it's not like we hate each other."
and it was true- you both ended amicably (though very reluctantly). you only ever wanted the best for each other, and while it was sad, you realized that at this point in your lives with how busy you both were, you weren't able to offer that anymore.
you’d rather this than end things resenting each other.
still, it was a hard pill to swallow, so for now you were just holding it on your tongue, letting the bitter taste of the coating settle instead.
she frowned. "well yeah, but-"
you cut her off before she could bring up the very emotions you were ignoring in that moment and shoved your phone back in your pocket. "c'mon, let's go dance!"
later, though, when you excused yourself to the bathroom, the first thing you did was down your second drink and read the text.
hey.
do you want to come over?
you stared at the messages for another minute, reading and re-reading them over and over again before sighing. being with him for years meant you knew him like the back of your hand, and he wasn't one for casual hook ups or one night stands. you hadn't even heard from him in a few months- this was the first bit of contact you'd had with him since you cleaned out your drawer of clothes at his place.
which meant he was either drunk and missing you or someone was playing a prank and you'd just end up a fool.
seriously weighing the options in front of you, trying not to let your emotions overpower your decision making, you attempted to think about the long term consequences of going over.
no matter how you spun it, it sounded like a bad idea. even if he did send the texts, there was no guarantee he wanted anything out of it.
but you were too tipsy for logic at that point in the night, and if you were being honest with yourself, you were in need of some excitement.
yeah.
I'll send my new address.
wait, he moved?
despite being together for so long, the two of you never ended up living together, opting for dorms and student houses with friends. still, you did spend a lot of time at his old place, and before the breakup you had even talked about the possibility of moving in together after the current school year was done.
you didn't linger on the sour feelings that brought up and instead decided to let your friends know you were leaving. when they asked where you were going, you spun some lie about not feeling well and wanting to head home before you got worse. you didn't really care if they believed you or not.
checking the address he had sent you once more, you made your way out of the house and were pleasantly surprised to realize it wasn't that far of a walk, especially since you were wearing uncomfortable party shoes.
you sipped on the bottle of water you swiped form the refreshment table and tried to sober up a bit more before seeing him. you weren't a hundred percent sure what would happen once you got there, but it was a good idea to be prepared for anything.
eventually you made it up to his apartment, which was in another student housing building off campus, bigger than his old place, and took a moment to compose yourself.
there was still time to turn back and make an excuse for why you bailed.
there was still time to think it through.
there was still time to save yourself from the possibility of more pain.
you took a deep breath and knocked on the door anyway.
not even five seconds later, the door was opening and you were face to face with your ex boyfriend.
you took him in for the first time in months- really took him in. sure, you'd seen his instagram posts since breaking up, but you could only zoom in so far on those. and fine, maybe your friends had tried to set you up with people they had deemed "much hotter", but you never saw the appeal. you couldn't even remember any of their faces in that moment, because kuroo was right there.
his hair was the same as always, slightly messier than usual, exactly how it looked whenever he (or you) would run his hands through it on a particularly stressful day.
had he been stressed about the text? did he regret it?
he was dressed somewhat casually, in a dark red shirt you recognized as part of a birthday gift you gave him one year (you had always liked the colour red on him). he was wearing black sweatpants and his socks were mismatched.
everything about him was familiar, and you hated the way a feeling of ease settled over you when he finished his own analysis of you and gave a boyish, almost giddy grin. "hi."
his voice was warm and gave you butterflies. there was an undertone of excitement in his greeting and it quelled your worries about him regretting the texts.
you decided to smile back, though somewhat shyly (which you inwardly scolded yourself for), and spoke up. "hi."
he didn't let the silence that followed settle into awkwardness. he opened the door a bit wider, and welcomed you in. ever the gentleman, he took your coat and and helped you balance as you took your shoes off. you tried to ignore how warm and gentle his touch was, how it made you immediately crave more.
you made your way into the living room and took everything in. there were empty cans and shot glasses littered across the room, mostly concentrated on the coffee table. you thought you heard him swear under his breath when he looked at the mess as well.
"did you have a party?" you asked, now close enough to smell a bit of alcohol on him.
he shook his head and looked a bit embarrassed. "ah, no..." he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and sighed. "my roommates went out with some friends tonight and decided to pre-game here. I went back to my room before they left because I didn't feel like drinking too much and assumed they'd clean up a bit..."
you nodded in understanding. "wishful thinking, huh?"
he chuckled. "yeah, guess so," he said, then gestured to an empty spot on the couch. "sit, I'll just get some of this out of the way quickly."
"oh, I can help-" you tried to offer but he waved you off.
"don't worry about it. I'm the one who invited you into a sloppy apartment, you shouldn't have to clean up a mess that isn't yours."
you snorted and watched as he shoved a ton of cans into the decorative waste bin by the sofa and took some glasses to the sink in the kitchen. "says the one who's cleaning up a mess that isn't his."
you heard him laugh at your words and the butterflies erupted in your stomach again. you hadn't realized how much you missed that sound. suddenly your mind wandered back to the reason behind his invitation. you'd be alone tonight?
once he returned from the kitchen and sat down next to you, you talked for a bit. he caught you up on the moving situation (him and a few friends found an opening for the second semester, so they decided to jump on it and try to stay until grad, hopefully. he made a joke about trying to make friends with the landlord). you listened closely, trying not to make it obvious you were hanging off his every word.
when he was done, you caught him up on your life and how you were at a party when he texted. he apologized for interrupting and you told him a little too fast not to be, which he seemed pleased with.
after a while, he asked if you wanted to watch a movie. you agreed, though you were starting to get impatient. you knew he wasn't the type of guy to ever expect anything from anyone, but the curiosity was eating you alive. you couldn't help but finally ask him about it halfway through the movie.
"hey... why did you invite me tonight?"
he didn't seem surprised by your question, which told you he was probably expecting it. (it was silly of you to think he couldn't tell when something was on your mind after years together and only months apart.)
he took a deep breath in and looked down at his lap. while he didn't look outwardly nervous, you knew him well enough to know what his tells were. he picked at a thread on his pants, trying to compose himself before dropping the bomb.
"because I missed you." he looked you in the eye and then continued. "a lot. and you can take that however you'd like. I'll let you decide."
you blinked at him. he'd let you decide? the way he said it implied that he missed you, missed you. not just missed having you in his life, not just as a friend- he missed you.
you would be nothing but a liar if you said you hadn't missed him too. and you knew that the feeling of security and familiarity you experienced earlier wasn't just nostalgia or your own unresolved feelings. if that were the case, you wouldn't be feeling this comfortable on the couch with him. you wouldn't be able to pretend things were normal between you as easily as you had been all night.
kuroo still very much felt like home, and you didn't want to let him go ever again. there was only one way for you to take his declaration.
"can I..." you looked into his eyes and tried not to drown in them. "can I kiss you?"
he looked relieved at your words and eagerly nodded. "please."
you leaned forward and feverishly crashed your lips against his as soon as the word left his mouth. he raised one hand to cup your cheek and pulled you closer to him by your thigh with the other, not once breaking away from you.
soon you were straddling his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck, quiet noises releasing into the air around you both. you moved a hand up the back of his neck, into his hair, and he groaned slightly into your mouth.
you giggled into the kiss, happy to see you still knew what got him going.
as if either of you could forget- it was muscle memory at that point. just like you'd never forget how to ride a bike, you'd never forget how to make the other feel good.
eventually you both had to pull away and fill your lungs again, but you were close enough that your foreheads touched and your breaths mixed.
it was quiet aside from some light panting, so you decided to break that silence with a confession of your own. "I missed you too, tetsurou. so much."
now, you weren't sure if it was what you said or how you said it, but as soon as the words left your mouth, you felt something hard pressing against the area between your legs and gasped a little.
your eyes opened and you pulled your face away just enough to look at him properly. your eyes met his and his face was tinged pink. "I- I'm sorry... we don't... if you don't want to..." he mumbled, not sure how to gage your reaction to this sudden development.
you kissed him again, softer this time to reassure him, and smiled a bit when you pulled away. "I want to, tetsu."
he let out a relieved sigh and smiled at you in turn, then glanced over at the door. "I have no idea when they'll be back... do you want to continue this in my room?" his eyes slowly and hopefully made their way back to yours.
you nodded and squealed a bit when he suddenly scooped you up in his arms, smile growing wider as he made his way to his bedroom.
and that’s how you got here- cutting to when he gently sets you down on the bed, and you scoot back a bit to lay down comfortably. quickly following, his body covers yours and he begins kissing you again.
your arms instinctively move, one wrapping around his broad shoulders, the other cupping his cheek as you move your lips against his. his own hands, now free due to the fact that he’s propped up on one of his forearms, caress your waist and the the top of your head respectively.
after a few minutes of him focusing on your lips, he starts making his way down your neck. they’re feather light kisses at first to make you giggle, but eventually he finds the sensitive spot he always loved to mark up and the sweet sounds turn into shallow, shuddery breaths.
you whine as soon as he starts sucking on it and you bring your hand up from his cheek to his hair. "mmn... tetsu..."
he pulls away just enough so that you can still feel his lips against your flesh as he trails them up your neck to hover just over your ear. "you have no idea," he breathes out, voice low and far more erotic than you think he intended, "how much I've missed this."
you shudder and turn your face away at the tingly sensation, but the hand on your waist darts up to tilt your chin back in his direction. one thing you always appreciated about kuroo was how tenderly he handled you, no matter the tone of your late night endeavors. he was always gentle with you- not in a way that made you feel fragile, but rather in a way that told you he truly cared for you, treasured you, adored you.
the idea that this is still the case turns you on even more and makes your brain go a bit fuzzy.
when your eyes met his once more, you could see that adoration pooling in them. “look at me, sweetheart.”
you nodd slightly in his firm, yet still very soft grasp and keep your eyes trained on his. you could feel yourself getting wet as they trail over your face, and you swear your entire body feels warm as he gives you a rare type of smile only reserved for times like these.
he leans in to kiss you again and his hand moves from your face to toy with the lower hem of your dress. “you look absolutely gorgeous in this, baby, but do you think can we take it off?” he’s still speaking in the low, sultry tone that always drives you wild- you’re certain that you’d do anything he asked of you with that voice.
you sit up a little and move to unzip the dress, but he takes your hands and gives you a look. “ah ah- let me, pretty girl, you don’t have to move a muscle.”
it’s almost jarring how easily you both fall back into it. as soon as your dress is off, his shirt follows and he’s back to hovering over you. it really feels as though no time has passed since your last time with him.
just more proof that this is right.
he wastes no time in ridding you of your bra and himself of his shirt before pushing you back down onto the bed.
the room is once again filled with sounds of soft moans and gasps as he kisses your chest and takes one of your nipples into his mouth. he alternates between swirling his tongue around it and sucking. kuroo didn’t let your other breast go unattended for long, though, as he begins teasing the hardened bud with his fingers.
“aah, tetsu… please…” you gasped out.
the man on top of you chuckles, and in between switching sides he looks at you from under his eyelashes. “still so sensitive, hm? it’s cute.”
you resist the urge to hide your face and instead opt for throwing your head back when he suddenly sucks on the other nipple.
heat continues to build inside of you until he eventually he trails his kisses down the valley of your breasts, across your ribcage and down to your tummy. he spends a little extra time there, and you have to gently tug on his hair and whine about him taking too long for him to break away from your skin.
“let me worship you, angel. missed your body so much.” his voice is barely audible, the words murmured as though he was in a trance. you feel your pussy clench around nothing at his confession and bite back a whimper.
his lips curl upwards while pressed against your stomach and his eyes flicker up to meet yours. “keep your eyes on me, baby. don’t ever want to be away from you again,” he commands.
he rests his chin on your pubic bone and traces the elastic band of your panties with two familiar fingers. “you wore my favourite.”
heat rushes to your face and you do turn away this time, but he makes a disapproving noise you’re all too familiar with. “sweetheart, what did I just tell you?”
you bite your lip and force your eyes back to his.
he rewards you with a tender kiss to your belly and a “there’s a good girl, knew she was in there…” before he pulls your panties off.
you grow nervous, though you know you don’t need to be with him, and close your legs. his eyes soften significantly at the action. you're not sure why exactly the nerves get to you now of all times, especially considering how much you like his stricter side, but they do and he sees it.
he drops the strict act and rubs reassuring circles to your inner thigh. you've always preferred your softer sessions, anyway. “hey, it’s alright. I’m gonna take good care of you… missed my girl so much, just want to make you feel good, okay? we’ll save that for another time. it’s just you and me now, baby.”
you nod and a wave of calm washes over you at the reassurance. you let him pry your legs apart and gasp as he dives in.
he starts with wet kisses working their way up your thighs, to your slit and then up to your clit before he takes the bud into his mouth and sucks on it. you let out a soft moan and buck your hips into his face.
"mmn," he pulls away for a second and holds your hips down. "don't thrash, princess, just let me do all the work."
and he does. once he really gets into the groove of eating you out, you're a mess on his bed- legs shaking over his shoulders, cunt clenching around his tongue and whimpering out little thank you's when he makes you cum for the first time that night.
but he doesn't stop there. "tastes so good, baby, need more," he says in between licking your juices from your folds. "c’mon, just one more. you can do it," he picks up the pace again, and before you know it you're begging for more, too.
"tetsu- ah~!" you moan when he exchanges licking for sucking on your still sensitive clit again. you feel like you're on fire as he draws you closer and closer to reaching your second high.
you tangle your hands in his hair and he groans, sending vibrations throughout your core. you cry out and arch off the bed, spilling into his mouth.
this time when he pulls away, he slithers back up your body and kisses you. "see how good you taste, baby? best in the world, haven't I always told you that?"
your stomach twists from the praise and you turn your head to the side bashfully, trying to stabilize your breathing. he holds himself up above you and strokes your cheek with his knuckles, watching you fondly. it does nothing but make you more dizzy with affection.
when you've calmed down enough, he whispers "do you still want to-"
"yes." you cut him off and he chuckles.
"okay baby," he crawls off of you and reaches for his nightstand. he opens the drawer and-
your stomach sinks when you see an open box of condoms. the thought of him being with other girls makes you feel green with envy which you suppose isn’t fair considering you’ve been broken up for months, but you’re still a little fuzzy and too high on your own emotions right now to care.
he looks between you and the box and immediately catches on when an unexpected tear falls from your eye.
“oh, baby no-“ he takes one from the box and quickly returns to your side. “I haven’t been using these,” he cups your face and strokes his thumb under your eye.
“you haven’t?” you sniffle and he shakes his head right away.
you pout. “but then-”
kuroo cuts you off with a roll of his eyes. “one of my roommates got them for me as a joke for my birthday. I only opened them because he kept asking to borrow them.”
you digest his words and slowly look up at him. he’s already looking at you and you can’t keep your eyes from watering some more. the thought of him being intimate with someone new when you’ve spent the past few months rejecting everyone your friends forced your way.
“I haven’t even looked at anyone else since we broke up,” he murmurs against your hairline. “missed you too much.”
you nod, finding no traces of dishonesty on his features. “I haven’t been with anyone either… I wasn’t over you. I didn’t want to be,” you admit, voice soft.
he smiles and presses kisses from your scalp down to your cheeks. “such a sweet girl I have, hm? how about you help me out here?”
he tugs off his sweats and your attention is drawn to the tent his boxers. you bite your lip and reach for the band but he takes your hand and places the condom on your palm.
you blink up at him, confused. “you don’t want me to-“
he shakes his head and tugs his boxers down. his cock springs free and you gasp a little at the sight of his tip- red and smeared with pre-cum.
“no, angel, I need to be inside of you. just help me put it on.”
you make quick work of tearing the wrapper off and rolling the condom over his length. he groans at the feeling of your knuckles grazing his skin, but as soon as you pull away he’s flipping you on your back and lining himself up against your entrance.
he knocks his forehead against yours. “ready, baby?”
you nod and wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer. he leans down for a kiss and slowly pushes into you as your lips connect.
you whine a little at the stretch and he pauses everything. “you’re okay,” he reassures you, giving you time to adjust.
you nod when you feel ready for him to keep going and he bottoms out with a strangled moan. “you’re unreal, you know that?”
his praise pulls a giggle from your throat but it quickly turns into a breathy sigh when he starts moving.
he starts off slow, but soon enough you’re both lost in the moment and his pace picks up. within the next few minutes, his room is filled with sounds of pleasure and sweet words exchanged between lovers.
“you’re perfect,” he says, angling his lips closer to your ear. his hips stutter when you clamp around him at his words.
his thrusts reach deep enough to get you crying out for him. “tetsu, faster! please!”
“ah- there’s a good girl, love hearing you beg for more.” he nibbles the spot just below your ear, soothing it with his tongue.
“I love you,” you whimper, nails digging into his shoulders.
kuroo groans at the sensation and goes a bit harder. “you needed this just as bad as I did, hm? it’s okay, I’ve got you now, pretty girl. just relax.”
you hide your face in his neck and try to stifle your moans, but he doesn’t appreciate that one bit. “stop that, let me hear you,” he commands and you immediately pull your head back.
he grins down at you and kisses your nose. “sound so pretty when you’re falling apart on my cock, you know better than to hide those noises from me.”
you nod and find yourself unable to look away from his face, as if you were in a trance. he’s absolutely gorgeous on top of you- why would you want to look away?
“you close, baby?” he asks after your walls tighten even more.
“mmhm,” you whimper and lean up for a kiss.
“me too,” he whispers and tugs one of your hands away from his shoulder. he intertwines your fingers and presses is above your head against the pillow. “needed this just as badly as I did, hm? it’s okay, I’ve got you, baby.”
doing so good for me.
you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.
you feel so fucking good, princess.
all of his praise sent shockwaves throughout your body and soon enough you’re tipping over the edge. your back is arched, head thrown back and a loud cry of his name is drawn from you as you cum for the second time.
he follows soon after and you feel his whole body shudder when he spills into his condom.
your breaths mix together as you both come down from your highs. it’s quiet for a few moments before he carefully pulls out and disposes of the soiled contraceptive in the trash next to his bed. he rolls back into bed, facing you.
he strokes your cheek with his knuckles and smiles at you when you open your eyes and turn to face him as well. “hi pretty girl, you okay?”
you take a deep breath and curl into his chest. you still feel slightly too light and any thoughts not related to him are muddled. you’re overcome with an intense wave of affection for him.
he must notice, because when you manage to peek up at him again, he snorts. “yeah, I don’t know what I was expecting.”
he knows better than to try and leave the bed right away (memories of you whining and clinging to him when he did attempt it early on in your relationship flash through his mind and he smiles), so instead he wraps his arms around you and presses kisses to your hairline.
you savour the familiar feeling of being wrapped in his arms and nuzzle into his bare chest. the most comfortable feeling in the world.
eventually he does get up to grab a damp cloth and some water, and he informs you that you can use his bathroom for whatever you need.
you’re both following the same routine you had when you were together as if you hadn’t broken up at all.
now that you’ve regained some clarity, you start to worry about what exactly that means.
you’ve both admitted to missing each other like crazy, but you assume you’ll need to have a serious conversation with kuroo about whether or not you should get back together.
you ponder over this on his bed for a bit longer before he interrupts your thoughts. “we don’t have to talk about it right now,” he starts. “we can talk about it tomorrow morning if you would prefer, but…”
he pauses like he’s not sure if he should continue. you nod encouragingly, curious as to where this is going (thought you think you know). “but I meant absolutely everything I said tonight. um, before and while we were… uh. busy.”
you giggle a little at his shy demeanour before considering the weight of his words. “we could talk about it tomorrow morning, but I think we both already know what we want from this right?”
he doesn’t need to nod, but he does anyway. “I definitely have an answer already.”
you knock your forehead against his. “so… are we officially back together then?”
he offers you the widest grin he’s thrown your way all night. “I think we are, sweetheart. We’ll make it work this time, I promise.”
“I promise,” you repeat.
the rest of the night is spent cuddling under covers, sharing kisses and secrets you’ve missed out on sharing these past few months.
“I love you,” you say, before you finally drift off for the night.
you don’t hear him, but he’s quick to return the sentiment. “I love you too.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BONUS:
the following morning, you wake up to your phone ringing. you groan when you see it’s your friend and realize you never texted her back last night to tell her you’re okay.
you look over at kuroo, still sound asleep beside you, and answer as quietly as possible. “hello?”
“oh thank goodness you’re alright, why weren’t you picking up? we all called you a million times!”
you check and see a ton of missed calls from more of your friends who saw you leave the party last night. “I’m sorry, I was asleep,” you say sincerely, only twisting the truth a little bit.
you feel slightly bad about it, you mentally promise her to tell her everything later.
before she can respond, your boyfriend sits up (when did he even wake up?) and says into the phone, “sorry, it’s my fault. but I promise I took good care of her,” he smirks at you.
you flinch when she shrieks into your ear. “YOU WERE WITH KUROO?!”
glaring at him, he snickers and takes the phone from you. “she’ll call you back later, we’re still catching up.”
“no, wait-“ he hangs up the phone and tosses it onto his sheets.
you pout at him. “tetsu, c’mon.”
he kisses your cheek. “I really didn’t meant for it to come off as rude, I swear. I just wanted a relaxing morning with you before you have to leave.”
you sigh and fall back into the soft comfort of his pillows. “it’s okay,” you say. “I really didn’t feel like giving her the rundown first thing in the morning, anyway. you really tired me out last night,” you peer up at him.
he laughs. “oh really? we’ve gotta build up your stamina again, pretty girl. I wasn’t lying-“ he crawls over and hovers a few inches above you. “we still have a lot of catching up to do.”
you mentally pat yourself on the back for answering his texts. definitely not your worst idea.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I swear I’ll get better at writing smut, folks 🫡
but for my first time writing it, I don’t think it’s horrible. if the ending feels a bit rushed, it’s because I’ve literally had this sitting in my drafts since miss olivia rodrigo released the music video for this song last august and I wanted it out 🙃.
tagging @nyctophilicroses bc I remember you commented on the original post I made asking abt exes to lovers with kuroo 🥹
#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo smut#kuroo x reader smut#kuroo tetsurou x reader smut#haikyuu smut#hq smut#haikyuu x reader
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Could I get a sex on the beach with a cherry on top for Rin Itoshi? :) 💕
୧ ‧₊˚ 🍹 ⋅ 𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐔𝐏 !
⟢ ingredients: 18+! mdni. ノ rin itoshi x fem reader ノ pwp ノ college au ノ hate sex ノ unprotected sex (piv) ノ cowgirl ノ creampie ノ rin is mean :( he literally doesn't touch you lol ノ bimbo-esque reader ノ some degradation: variations of slut, brat, whore ノ physically ambiguous reader ノ
⟢ wc: ~550
𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈'𝐒 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 was not an easy task. in his mind, everyone in his vicinity was beneath him — nothing but lowly pissants who make the mountains that he moves.
and when you did manage to get his attention, it wasn't very long... nor was it pleasant, but you had it, and that's what you wanted.
he'd scoff and act irritated beyond belief, like he was doing charity work to give you his time of day. you didn't care, though. you were determined to fuck rin itoshi.
"rin!! got a minute?" you ask, knowing his answer will be...
"i certainly don't have time for your shit..." you say in unison. he glares at your grin.
"tch. you're an annoying brat" he sighs, looking down at you with a bird's eye view of your cleavage. he grows increasingly irritated at the sight of your skimpy uniform, yet turned on by your physique.
his cheeks grew bright red and warm, and he hoped like hell you wouldn't notice both his embarrassment or the excitement in his pants.
nothing gets past you, though.
"what's wrong rin? you've never seen tits before?" you taunt with a devilish grin.
"don't talk to me like that. it's trashy. though i should expect nothing less from you" he quips.
"oooh! fiesty today!" you giggle, feeling a pool of arousal growing in your panties.
"shut up, slut" he groans exasperatedly.
"mmm keep going rin, i'm close!" you moan playfully.
"fuck's sake..! you're so desperate. if i fuck you will you piss off?! he asks annoyedly, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"oh, absolutely" you reply with a smirk.
he grabs your wrist tightly and drags you to his on-campus apartment. his cock silently begging to be freed from the confine of his pants. he slams the door behind you then slams himself down onto the couch.
"you want to fuck so bad? fuck me yourself then, slut" he spits as he takes his cock out of his pants. his tip is red hot and dripping with precum.
"take a fucking picture, it'll last... wha– are you drooling?! tch" he grumbles.
you sit yourself down on his pretty cock, studying his face and moaning as you adjust to his size.
"mmm rin!" you moan, rubbing your clit while slowly moving your hips.
"you're this fucking wet? i haven't touched you... filthy slut" he hisses as his cock is enveloped by your tight cunt.
his eyes flutter and roll back as you slam yourself up and down his length, earning a few grunts and groans of pleasure. you grin and squeeze his cock tighter. "shit... just like that, right there" he groans and grips the cushions.
"nngh! rin! 'm gonna cum!" you cry out, feeling a jolt of electricity strike your clit as you reach your orgasm. your pace slows as you recover.
rin groans as he feels your cunt pulsing around his cock, then again when your pace quickens. "fuck..! ugh-!" he groans as his cock twitches one final time, then dumps his load deep inside you.
rin catches his breath while you gather your belongings. "as promised, i'll stop bothering you now" you grin.
"right, and don't even think about telling anyone about this, got it?" rin scoffs while he cleans himself off.
you nod, then see yourself out.
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note: this is my first time ever writing bllk/rin itoshi smut so please let me know how this was 🥺🤲 also forgive me if i'm rusty, i feel like i haven't written in ages !!
#blue lock smut#bllk smut#rin itoshi smut#rin itoshi x reader smut#rin itoshi x reader#itoshi rin smut#itoshi rin x reader smut#itoshi rin x reader#blue lock x reader smut#blue lock x reader#ᯓᡣ𐭩 mack writes
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Let Time Pass - S.R
Spencer Reid x Fem!reader
Summary: you reminisce about the time when you met Spencer Reid at college and had a night of adventure that you'll never forget, but after that, you never spoke, until Penelope Garcia found your unsent letters and decided to play the savior of your undying love.
Genre: mutual pining, angst if you squint, but mostly fluff
WC: 3.2k
Warning: kissing, cursing, invading private property
A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this, actually, guess the rom-com that inspired me to write this. I'll give you a hint, the first movie has "sunrise" in the title and the second movie includes unsent letters with addresses hehe.
---
Summer rain has always been your favorite accompanied by the sound of the patter of the raindrops. You looked outside your window with a faraway look, your glasses now above your hair as you took a break from reading the unsent letters.
Unsent letters you wrote when you were in college, being in love with someone for so long who you're not sure still remembers you can be draining, you've loved him since the first time he acknowledged your presence during class and when he took you out of campus when it was just the two of you.
Love comes in forms and somehow Spencer's was when he first spewed those few words to you when you were talking to your friends but they weren't paying attention so you stopped and just sat there embarrassed.
"Wasn't Centralia a town that is still burning to this day?" He had asked and your eyes held the universe at his question. You got his name, Spencer Reid and that name hasn't left your mind ever since then.
Love comes in forms and yours are letters.
After that night, you never spoke again, he got his Ph.Ds and life got in the way. You're pretty sure he doesn't remember you, and you're sure he's got his way with life now, maybe he settled down and you're still pining for a man who you're not sure still remembers you.
You remembered how the night went with him, you actually talked until sunrise. At first, you walked around campus and then explored the city together. He told you about his mom, his goals, everything he hasn't said to anyone, and you told him about everything, your secrets that you haven't said to your best friend yet.
You sighed as you shook yourself out of your reverie, you looked down at your letter and traced the dust off from your neatly written letter.
the letter was a year old, you used to write letters every day when you first met him but when you graduated you never stopped but it became less frequent as time passed. Now you write one letter every year and put it inside a box but this time you decide to stop, finally stop chasing your fantasies and let life slap you in the face.
You laughed at your ridiculousness then you heard the door creek and your gaze landed on your best friend. "Hi Pen" you smiled at her.
Penelope's gaze landed on the box in your hand "What's that?" She asked.
You rolled your eyes and stood up from your couch engulfing her in a tight hug "Stop being nosy and when did you arrive?"
She groaned at the contact "50 minutes ago" you laughed and let go of her.
"were you stuck in a conversation with Mom?" She nodded and let her gaze drift off to the box again.
"Seriously, is that your box from college? You never let me touch it and can you please let me see it, I'm older than you, in case you forgot" she insisted as she made the gesture of getting it out of your grasp.
You smacked her in her arms and hissed "No, and you'll never touch this, I don't care how old you are" You glared at her but it held no threat.
"Fine, dinner is ready your Mom asked me to get you" she grumbled and you let out a huff of amusement.
Penelope was never nosy when it came to you but it's been years since you've ever been with someone and she had a hunch that the box had something to do with it.
"Go on ahead I'm going to change in the bathroom," Penelope said straight up lying in front of your face. You didn't question it as it seems believable, perks of working with profilers.
You only hummed and you made a mistake by putting the box inside your closet without locking it. As soon as you left Penelope got out of the bathroom and searched for your box which wasn't hard to find.
She made sure you were completely out of sight before opening it, she didn't know what she expected but surely it wasn't this. Her jaw went slack as she read through your letters from when you were in college until last year, some were long and some were short, with dates in the corner of each letter.
Spencer Reid, her Mighty professor, Her boy genius.
You stopped, why did you stop? She thought while she read through the recent content. She had to do something about it, she had to help you.
Penelope breathed in, fixed her hair in the mirror, and got out of the room, pretending as if she hadn't shoved a box inside her bag and invaded her best friend's privacy, she's doing it for you so it can't be that bad right?
You were laughing at something your dad said but stopped when you saw how unsettled Penelope was "Pen what's wrong?" You asked, your voice laced with concern.
Now she felt guilty, she felt like throwing up but this was for you. "Nothing, I- I just uh, need to go I feel like I forgot something at home" she stammered as she made her way to the door.
"What? Let me drive you home" You stood up from your seat, your mom and dad looking between you two with suspicion in their eyes.
"No!" Penelope abruptly exclaimed, her hand flailing around for you to stop, making you and your parents flinch at the volume of her voice.
She cleared her throat and pushed her bag away from sight which didn't go unnoticed by you "I can drive myself and besides I got something to drop off at a friend's house" she chuckled awkwardly.
You hesitantly sat back down and nodded "Okay... Call me when you get home" You smiled at her and she nodded. She didn't change her clothes but you thought none of it, maybe that was the thing that she forgot.
---
Spencer was lounging on his couch when he heard the loudest knock he had ever heard in his entire life. His brows knitted together as he peeped at the peephole of his door before opening it.
"Garcia?" He mumbled while looking at the frantic girl in front of him, if he didn't know any better she would've murdered someone but that was just a silly thought.
Penelope pushed Spencer inside urgently and pushed a box against his chest, he had to balance himself at the force.
"What's this?" He asked, confusion evident on his face. Penelope sighed and she sat down on the couch with her hand on her face.
"Do you remember a girl in college?" She muttered, her voice barely visible but he heard her.
"You need to be more specific than that, Penelope" Spencer said and pursed his lips as he put the box on the table and sat down beside her.
Penelope frowned as she looked at Spencer "A girl who you spoke to once and never heard from ever again" she said, her body fully facing him.
She noticed his expression doesn't change and she groaned "For a person who has an eidetic memory, you're shit at remembering" she grumbled.
Spencer looked offended "What?! You're the one talking about a girl without context, do you know how many people I spoke to at college? 80% of those people-" Penelope clicked her tongue and signaled for him to stop.
She took the box from the table and pushed it back to his chest which made him glare at her, she ignored him.
"Open it" she demanded. Spencer studied her tense figure and the way she was trying to hug herself to make herself feel better.
"I feel like you stole something that isn't yours-" he said but found himself being cut off by Penelope's hissed.
"Stop profiling me and open the damn box" she whined as she stood up from the couch and paced around his apartment.
Spencer shook his head as he finally opened the box. He looked at Penelope in confusion and when he saw it was a bunch of old letters.
"Whose this for?" He questioned.
"For you, obviously! I wouldn't have brought it to you if it weren't addressed to you" she exclaimed.
"But there isn't any address on these" he shuffled through the letters, they were still in the envelopes.
"Just read it!"
"Garcia, you do know you just invaded someone's privacy right?"
"I know, just read it. Please?"
Spencer sighed and nodded his head. He started on the first letter that was technically open and he let his gaze back to Garcia who was now sweating in guilt.
When he opened it, he felt his heart beginning to thump. Garcia watched him carefully as she noticed his expression gradually changed.
Dear, Spencer Reid
Do you remember when you first talked to me? I remember thinking that you're the kind of man I'm willing to put my life at risk for. I'm sure you endured me rambling about the burning town (that is still burning to this day apparently and it's been 7 years since we last spoke)
But what I'm trying to say is, I'm still in love with you, pathetic I know. But I just can't seem to let you go, you're like impossible not to remember and each day I try to forget about you and move past my ability to love so deeply but I can't.
Do you remember when you talked to me about your mom? I was so proud of you for coming up that far for your mom, and when we sneaked in on a bar and actually stole a bottle of wine? I couldn't stop laughing that time. God, I keep recalling that memory.
I shared all of my thoughts with you, spilled all my secrets to you, and at some point we held hands and I was so shocked because you told me you had a thing with germs. Honestly, it made me feel special.
I'm scared that if I see you again you'll think I'm weird and obsessive, which I'm not! I can stomach a rejection and I'll completely leave you alone if you ask me to. I'm just really bad at letting people go you know?
But I won't drag this on for long, you're not gonna see this anyway, and one last thing, I hope you have the best life the universe has to offer. I'll talk to them face to face if they are mean to you.
This will be my last letter, I'm letting you go now. I've been so in love with you that I feel like I'll be stuck in a loophole where life is trying to berate me every time for not saying anything to you, for not congratulating you when you graduated because I was feeling too shy to approach you that day. I wish I had, then maybe we could've talked more and had the time of our lives and maybe a repeat of what we did when we first met.
I'm just hoping life is a little bit gentler with you this time.
Yours truly
The girl who you talked to until sunrise
When he finished reading the letter he was silent for a good 3 minutes, and then he started shuffling through the letters and read them all like a madman. Penelope had to stop herself from stopping him.
God did he remember you, fucking hell he remembers you. You've been on his mind for 8 years. He even found himself in tears, he didn't expect someone to love him this much. Yearn for him like he yearns for you.
Spencer wasn't the type of guy who got over things easily and he had come to accept it as a part of him, the pair of you spoke once yet he can't deny the spark he felt while talking to you. If it were anybody else he would've found a way to get out of the conversation but your voice was addicting and so was your ramble about the old town.
He even went as far as to pretend not to know about the things that happened within that town just so he could hear your voice a little while longer. Your conversation shifted as time passed and Spencer found himself talking about anything really, he even made jokes that you found funny and he couldn't ignore the flutter in his stomach when he saw you smile.
When he saw you under the first light of the day, he felt himself fall in love, even if the time was fleeting his love wasn't, it never was.
Every time he was on death's door, you were always the subject of his memories. He keeps recalling the night when he felt like the universe was in his favor only for it to laugh at his face when he didn't see you again.
"I can help you, she's at the bar right now, she texted me," Penelope said, snapping him back down on earth.
He wiped a stray tear and sniffled "No, it's too late, she stopped writing like a year ago" he muttered and Penelope noticed the pain in his voice.
"Don't be ridiculous, I know her, she could be writing a letter right now as we speak" Penelope laughed.
"At a bar?"
"It was a joke, Spencer. Now let's go get your girl, Prince Charming!" She grinned as she dug through her bag for her keys.
"I don't know... I feel like I'm just digging my own grave, Garcia. I can't bear to hear her say that she doesn't feel the same way anymore" He whispered, his voice small as he avoided Penelope's disapproving look.
"That girl watches rom-coms, Spence. Do you think she'll brush off her feelings that easily? Try watching Serendipity and come back to me and try again but right now we need to hurry" She grabbed his arms and dragged him out of his apartment.
She stopped when they got into her car "Promise me you won't tell her I gave you the letter" she said sternly.
"But how am I supposed to explain why I'm there?" He asked confused.
"You're a genius, figure it out," she said as she buckled her seatbelt.
---
You were sitting in a booth with your friends. After having dinner with your parents, your friends invited you to a bar where you felt inclined to come, but you didn't know how to decline.
The air was suffocating so you excused yourself and got out of the bar. You sigh as your gaze shifts to the sky, Spencer would've pointed you to the constellation that was present right now.
"The one you're looking at right now is Aquila" You whipped your head to the familiar voice and you heard yourself gasp.
Spencer smiled when your eyes met "The brightest star in the constellation is Altair" he said as he began walking towards you.
"There is a story of an old Chinese legend about two stars, Altair and Vega, In the story two people met and fell in love but were separated by the stars" he was now in front of you, his hands in his pajama pocket, he turned red as he realized what he was wearing.
"What are you doing here?" You said, at a loss for words. He looked different but not in a bad way. He looked good. Hot even.
Spencer chuckled awkwardly, he always knew you were beautiful but God, you are gorgeous now.
You averted your gaze when you noticed a figure in the distance then your blood ran cold when you saw Penelope, Spencer noticed.
"Don't be mad at her, she helped me find you" he defended urgently as he grabbed your arms. You knitted your brows together.
"How d- did you two meet?" You stammered.
"We worked together" he rubbed his nape, a nervous tick that you notice.
Spencer was so sure he knew what to say to you but now that you're actually in front of him, he was left speechless.
"I never told her about you- did you read the letters?!" You exclaimed, your hand flying to your mouth in shock.
Spencer looked guilty as he averted his gaze to the ground "Yes..." He trailed off.
"God, you must think I'm crazy" you grumbled as you kept fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt.
"Hey, I don't think you're crazy" he whispered as he cupped your face with his hand "I actually find it endearing that you still think of me to this day, and just so you know you haven't left my mind either" he softly said, his face was so close you could feel his breath hitting your cheeks.
He tucks a stray hair out of your face, his eyes holding adoration as he meets your eyes again "Really?" You whispered.
His eyes darted to your lips and he felt himself subconsciously lick his lips "Yeah" he muttered.
He brushed his lips against yours as if testing the waters and when you fluttered your eyes shut, he kissed you as if he was going to devour you.
He breathed in as he kissed you, a certain longing lingered in the air. He pulled away to take a breath but then you surged forward and connected your lips against him for the second time, his hand on your waist as he pushed you closer against him, your hand snaking its way to the hair on his nape as you tugged him closer making him groaned in the kiss.
He tugged on your bottom lip asking for permission which you granted and he slid his tongue in, you tasted so sweet he found himself starting to get addicted. You were a panting mess when both of you separated, his forehead resting against yours, your eyes still closed as you took deep breaths.
Spencer rubbed his nose against yours affectionately and you giggled "You know you'll be stuck with me for a long time right?" You muttered.
"Make it forever" he grins, he connects his lips back to you but this time it is softer than the first, you kiss him back as you both fall in a rhythm.
When you pulled back he chased your lips and that made you chuckle "I'm still mad at her for stealing my letters" you muttered.
"Don't be, please. She's the reason I get to see you again" he said as he pulled you in a hug, your head resting against his chest as he pressed a kiss on the crown of your head.
"And I can't believe you were about to give up on me" Spencer joked lightly and you poked him on his hip making him jolt in surprise.
"Hey! Not fair, what was I supposed to do?" You whined and he laughed.
"to make it seem fair" he looks down on you as you meet his gaze, still in his warm embrace "I wrote about you in my journal, all my journals are full of you" he smiled.
You gasp "what? Let me read it please? you've read my letters" you pleaded.
He hummed "Nope, come on Penelope's waiting in the car" he said as he leads you to Penelope's car with his hand on your back.
"That's totally unfair, but I will snoop around"
"No, you won't"
"You snooped on my letters without my permission, so it's right that I should too," you said smugly.
"Shouldn't you be doing that to Penelope?"
"Oh yeah, let's do it"
-----
Please interact and reblog my post if you like it, it makes me happy hehe :D
The divider is from @cafekitsune :)
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