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plus-size-reader · 4 years ago

Text

Angel Blood

Clary Fray x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2113 words

Warnings: none

Summary: The reader has been protecting Clary all her life, and hiding a huge secret.

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Clary was almost positive that she was out of her mind.

After everything she’d seen at the club tonight, she had to be going crazy.

Of course she was because there was no other explanation for what was going on. Everything that she had seen, everything that was going on, it wasn’t real.

There was no way any of this was real.

People didn’t just vanish out of thin air ever, and that thing in the club had tentacles in its face, not to mention the fact that she was ninety-nine percent sure that she had killed a guy. It was hardly what she’d expected from her eighteenth birthday when she woke up this morning.

Still, she knew what she saw.

There was no way to explain it, and she was sure that she was going insane, but at least she knew what she had seen.

If there was anything she had, it was that, and thankfully, it was more than enough for you to help her. When she told you what had happened, you believed her completely and totally, which did make her feel a little better.

Though, to be fair, you knew a lot more about this than she did.

This was in her blood.

Clary was a shadowhunter, she was born for this, and while it didn’t make sense now, you were sure that she would adjust. All she needed was time, and a little guidance, which you and the others would be able to give her.

Not that you wanted Jace to be involved at all.

After all, it was his idea to bring her back to the institute, which was a terrible idea from the start. Mundanes couldn’t be here, ever, and there wasn’t supposed to be any exceptions to that, even where Clary was concerned.

She couldn’t just be here.

You told Jace that as soon as he got back, holding her tight to his chest all full of demon venom, but were immediately ignored by the male. He had already made up his mind, and when he did that, there was nothing you could do to stop him.

Logic didn’t have a place in Jace’s mind.

In general, this wasn’t something that you tended to deal in because mundane business wasn’t for you to worry about but for some reason, he had this idea that he had to save her.

He wanted to keep her safe.

You understood that this mattered to him, for whatever reason, but this was a bit much.

Alec made the argument that bringing her here was dangerous for not only her but also everyone else in the building, and this was one of those rare instances where you found yourself inclined to agree with him.

Jace had gone too far and now, he’d managed to rope you all in with him.

It was insane.

You had been watching over her and Jocelyn all your life, but now, Jace had just swooped in to save the day. It was something that there was no going back from and you just had to hope that when Clary woke up, she’d be able to handle it.

“How could you be so reckless?” you huffed, protecting Clary was your job.

You had been her best friend forever and you were someone she was familiar with. If anyone was going to take care of her in Jocelyn’s absence, it should have been you.

It was literally all you were here for, but in typically Jace Wayland fashion, he had found a way to take that out from under you as well.

Now, you were going to have to get past him to do anything, like you always had to, as if the other shadowhunters needed another reason to doubt your abilities.

“I saved her life, shouldn’t you be thanking me?” he grinned, that telling smirk on his face that remained there indefinitely. Normally, you would have just shrugged him off but today you could have knocked off if you felt so inclined.

He could be so frustrating sometimes, so sure of himself that no one else mattered.

It was nearly enough to drive you out of your mind.

In all the years that you had known Clary, you had kept a close relationship with all of the shadowhunters as well. You were one of them, and though this life was a difficult one, hiding it from Clary and all, it was just what you had to do.

You had to protect her, more than anything else, and as difficult as it was, that was all that mattered at the end of the day.

Jocelyn loved you like a child of her own, she trusted you with her secrets and most importantly, she trusted you to protect Clary when she couldn’t. That was the whole reason you were here, the whole reason you had been by her side for so many years.

At this point, you loved her more than anyone and you certainly didn’t want her getting involved with Jace Wayland.

Not because you were jealous, of course, but because you wanted what was best for her.

That was all.

“I’ll thank you when I’m sure she’s safe” you countered, gingerly brushing a lock of her hair from her face, where it had fallen in the entire tussle. She was in a lot of pain, with the venom taking its toll on her, but her body was taking the healing rune well.

She was going to be fine.

However, until she was awake and calmed down, you weren’t going to be able to relax.

For whatever reason, this was the most stressful thing you’d ever gone through. You’d had years to go run through this in your mind, but now that it was happening, you were lost.

This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

Jocelyn had been careful, crazy even, so that Clary wouldn’t find out about who and what she was before you were ready to deal with it, but now, you were on your own. She wasn’t here to help you figure this out.

For now, Jocelyn was gone and you just had to do your best to explain this whole thing to her.

“She’s going to be fine, she’s one of us. She’s strong” Jace shrugged, looking down at her from where he was at your side, still doing his best to figure out what it was about her that was so special.

Clearly, she had made an imprint on the both of you and he wasn’t even sure why yet. To be fair though, he didn’t know her like you did.

He never could.

“Yeah, that’s one thing we can agree on” you allowed, gingerly giving him a shrug. You weren’t sure what it was you were going to do when she woke up, or how blending your two worlds into one would work, but before you could worry about it, she shot up in bed.

The action was quick and startled you slightly but you didn’t pay that any mind. Instead, you sat down beside her and did the only thing you knew to do, the thing you were best at.

You tried to calm her down.

Even now, that was all you could think about.

“Good Morning sleepyhead” you tried, doing your best to stay calm, but it was a sad attempt at best. You were clearly shaken, startled over her abrupt awakening, but thankfully, Clary was still a little out of it.

To her, this whole thing must have felt like a dream, so she only smiled at you at first. What had happened today was the last thing on her mind as she looked at you, at least, for a few seconds.

However, as soon as she reached up and grazed the portal shard hanging around her neck, she panicked. The object brought back everything she’d gone through in the past few hours and the recollection she had was distressing to her.

No one in their right mind would handle it well, you knew that without a shadow of a doubt.

While you weren’t surprised by the world you’d grown up in, you weren’t under any illusions as to how jarring it must have been to her. Waking up in this place was more than enough to freak her out, and Jace certainly wasn’t helping either.

“What is going on? Where are we? Where is my mother?” she asked, immediately bringing all the current issues to the forefront.

They were swirling around in her head, looming over her, and not one of them made sense. It was too much and you definitely couldn’t blame her for being overwhelmed.

“We will explain everything Clary, trust me” you hummed, taking her hand in your own in one final attempt at comforting her. You had no idea how this would go, but if nothing else, at least she was at the institute now.

As difficult as Jace could be to deal with, you knew that she would be safe as long as he was looking out for her.

At the very least, you could give him that.

Jace wasn’t exactly thrilled when you asked her for a moment alone with Clary to explain but eventually, he decided that it would just be best to do as you asked. The two of you had an understanding, that it would be much better to just try to find common ground.

Besides, Jace wasn’t exactly the best one to tell her everything, not when there was so much technical history to bring her up to speed on.

She needed you.

“What is going on?” she repeated, not speaking again until you returned to her bedside, having stepped away for a moment to ask Jace for some privacy. She had no idea what was going on yet, and unfortunately, you weren’t sure your explanation would help.

There was just too much happening in your world to sum up in one conversation.

Still, you knew that you had to try.

“I’ll fill you in more as it comes up, but there are some things I need to tell you before then” you started, hoping that the more you filled her in, the easier this would get for her to digest, but that wasn’t going to happen.

Mundanes couldn’t handle the world outside that they were used to, and while Clary wasn’t necessarily mundane, she had been raised that way. Until you figured out what Jocelyn wanted for her, you had to just fly by the seat of your pants through this whole thing.

“We’re Shadowhunters, Clar” you hummed, giving her a soft smile as you often did while looking at her. Even now, as disoriented and lost as she was, she was the most beautiful girl you’d ever seen.

Hopefully as this whole thing came into the light, you would actually see the benefits of bringing her fully into your world.

At least she would understand you completely now.

“We have angel blood, and that makes it our responsibility to protect the human world from demons and other downworlders” you tried, finding it much more difficult to sum up everything that being a shadowhunter intold than you would have thought.

It was really complicated.

Still, Clary didn’t seem completely lost as you assumed she would. She was bewildered of course, but she was silent by the time you’d finished, startling you that much more. For whatever reason, it was more alarming than if she would have freaked out.

It just made you worry that much more that she was losing it.

“I know it’s a lot, but I’m going to be here the whole time to help you figure it out. You’re going to be okay”

The words came out forced but you really meant them. It wasn’t going to be easy, but you knew that no matter what came your way, the two of you would be able to deal with it.

You always had, and now that the rest of the shadowhunters were involved, it would be even easier.

You could do this.

“Please don’t leave, there’s no way I can manage all this without you” she hummed, after a few seconds of silence as she thought over what you were suggesting. She had lost way too much already and if she had to do this without you, she’d be completely lost.

She couldn’t do this without you.

“Clar, I’m not going anywhere” you promised, this time fully confident in the words leaving your lips. You loved Clary, and whether or not she knew it, there was nothing you wouldn’t do for her.

No matter what happened, nothing was going to happen to her.

#clary fray #city of bones #mortal instruments city of bones #mortal instruments #clary fray x reader #clary fray x ps reader #clary fray x plus size reader #clary fray imagine #city of bones x reader #city of bones x ps reader #city of bones x plus size reader #city of bones imagine #mortal instruments x reader #mortal instruments x ps reader #mortal instruments x plus size reader #mortal instruments imagine #femslash

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years ago

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OK I’M HERE! I READ IT! I’M LATE BUT IT DID IT! SERIOUSLY REGRETTING NOT READING IT EARLIER! FUCK SLEEP WHO NEEDS SLEEP!

I LOVE THE TWINS SO MUCH SHCDUJUHKFDUISVFDHYDEBCSJ

LEXI TELLING EVERYONE THAT SHE CAN TALK TO RAZIEL BESTIE YOU DOING GREAT!!!

“Lying is wrong!” Selena had told her sister.

“Yes, but cookies are delicious,” Lexi had pointed out, munching on them.

“Daddy!” Selena had said. “Tell her it’s wrong.”

“Lying is wrong!” Daddy had said, but she had barely heard a word since his mouth had been stuffed with cookies too.

LYING IS OKAY IF YOU GET COOKIES

She did not care much for jewellery, especially expensive ones. But Magnus had given this to her – and she didn’t want to take it off.

She combed her long hair and tied it into a high ponytail. If she was going shopping with Magnus, she had to look her best.

It was fine. There were worse ways to spend your tenth birthday. She got to spend it with Magnus. She was not going to complain about it.

AWWW SHE’S LITERALLY MAGNUS’ NO.1 FAN UHSDUCSDUYSDCFUYKSVCD

“Oh!” Selena had beamed. “Like Magnus! He always looks so magnificent!”

“Sure,” David had said, his ears pink in the cold. “That’s who I was thinking about.”

I don’t know much but I do know that his ears were not pink because of the cold and he was not thinking about Magnus.

Selena remembered wishing she caught the fever so Magnus could take care of her too.

Same- I MEAN WOULDN’T WE ALL??

ALSO, MAX STAYING WITH DAVID WHEN HE WAS SICK DWHYDYGUFEYUKGFYEUGFEWUYG

Oh, Jocelyn died.

Rip I guess?

OOOO THEY INVITED THE COHORT TO TALK ABOUT THIS STUFF BECAUSE SHADOWHUNTERS ARE DYING OF MUNDANE ILLNESSES

I say we kill them.

Selena had never felt anger like that before. She had wanted to drown that awful man in the lake she floated around in her dreams.

BESTIE SAME

“Lettuce?”

“Yes?”

“No screaming when I show you the gift,” Daddy said. “We have visitors at the institute.”

“Is it a sword?” Lexi asked.

“No,” Daddy replied.

“Then I won’t scream,” her twin shrugged at him.

AHUEDCHGUHFEWUIFUIRUI SHE’S SUCH A HERONDALE I LOVE-

PUPPY OH MY GOD IT’S A PUPPY!!!!!!!!

“IT’S A PUPPY! IT’S A PUPPY! OH MY GOD, IT’S A PUPPY! DAVID GOT US A PUPPY!”

Her twin had jumped – no, leaped – off the counter and dashed towards their father, who was holding a small grey puppy in his arms.

“I AM SO SORRY I TOLD YOU I DON’T WANT YOU, LITTLE FRIEND. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I WILL PROTECT YOU WITH MY TWENTY TOY SWORDS!”

“Lexi, stop screaming!” Mommy said. “You will wake everyone up.”

“EVERYONE WAKE UP AND COME MEET MY PUPPY!” Lexi screamed even louder.

I LOVE HER SO MUCH DHJBSDCHJBFSJSFEDSF

She drew the unlock rune on the door the way her daddy did on his office door and sneaked into the Consul’s office.

I’m not even surprised anymore-

AWW, SELENA GOING THERE TO LOOK AT THE MURAL OF IDRIS. YOU’LL GO THERE ONE DAY BESTIE I PROMISE

ANJALI IS HERE Y’ALL!!!!!!!

Anjali walked over to her father’s desk, sat down on the chair, and put her feet on the table.

The Inquisitor’s table.

Only she could get away with something like that.

THERE’S MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER Y’ALL

EVEN ALEC IS WARY OF HER UHJSDVCUHSVDUUHSVUHSUIVGRVSR

Selena loved Idris with all her heart. But she knew Idris was not a perfect place.

Any place that was mean to Magnus could never be perfect.

EXACTLY

“Well, it turned out well for me,” Anjali winked. “Now when he gives me shit for my ‘bad judgement’ I just throw his dating history in his face. Dated Zara Dearborn? Broke up with Cristina Rosales? Yikes. Could not be me.”

BESTIE YES! HOW CAN DIEGO JUDGE PEOPLE’S JUDGEMENT WHEN HIS DATING HISTORY LOOKS LIKE THAT???

“Just because he looks like a movie star, it doesn’t mean everything should be handed to him,” Anjali answered, rolling her eyes. “Entitled piece of shit.”

You know I kinda ship them-

“Dang, girl. No practice swords for you, huh. You just straight up went for the mortal sword. I like your style.”

“Uncle Kit!” Selena yelled and ran towards him.

KIT KIT KIT KIT KIT KIT KIT KIT HISDUIDEUYKFSFUS7IKKIYGVFSDLY7TKGVFEDYTGFECYGU

ASH OMG ASH IS HERE TOO!!!!

"some man called Anus" BYE-

PARABATAI KIT AND ASH OMG

The whole pre-meeting prep is kinda giving me pre-wedding vibes idk how to explain but the whole rush and organizing that day and making calls and stuff.

“Ash was very beautiful. After Magnus of course” “She liked Aunt Izzy best. After Magnus of course,” GIRL HAS HER PRIORITIES STRAIGHT

"How bad can the cohort be?" well you see-

“Is that the cohort?” Selena asked, her voice a whisper.

“No, that’s a bitch.”

Yup. that’s accurate

“Is he here?”

“Whom?” Daddy asked.

“Alec Lightwood,” the woman asked.

“You mean the Consul?” Daddy asked.

“I meant Alec.”

“The Consul?”

“Alec!”

“Who also happens to be the Consul?”

“Fine, yes, the Consul!” the woman sounded impatient. “Is he here yet?”

It’s Lightwood-Bane bitch

AWWW SELENA DESCRIBING ALEC AS REGAL THAT’S SO CUTE

And accurate-

IT’S THE SAME BLUE AGAIN

Selena noticed her father was looking very emotional. She couldn’t blame him.

“My liege,” Daddy bowed deeply.

“Cut it out,” the Consul smacked him. “What’s the status?”

Yup, that’s them. Also same Jace.Same.

“I always expected the offspring of these two to be like…”

“Like what?” Daddy demanded.

At that moment, Lexi ran past the hall, yelling and screaming as she carried a toy sword in one hand and Dorian Gray in another.

“MAKE WAY FOR ALEXANDRA THE GREAT AND HER LOYAL COMPANION DORIAN GRAY! CHRISTOPHER! BRING ME MY OTHER NINETEEN SWORDS! WE MUST SET FIRE TO THE EVIL EMPEROR AND SAVE THE PRINCESS!”

“Like that,” Magnus chuckled.

Will in the afterlife, wiping tears: A true Herondale.

“I hope so too, Magnus,” Selena said shyly.

The Consul frowned at that. “It’s Uncle Magnus to you.”

Selena ignored that. The Consul was not the boss of her.

Well, technically he was the boss of everyone. But still!

UHNJCSDUHUSDHSVUDVUD SELENA

Do not remind me. I would like to remain blissfully unaware that not all of them are mortal :D

The Consul grumbled and turned to Mommy. “You were right to name her Fairchild. She is going to be a pain in my ass.”

“Hey!” Daddy covered Selena's ears again. “It’s like you guys didn't get my monthly newsletter on language modification!”

“No one here reads your newsletter, Jace,” Aunt Izzy rolled her eyes.

"I do," the Consul put up his hand.

Of course, you do Alec. I can totally see the LBAF gang defying Alec left and right UHKGXUYCSUYGCSYCFSED

“Izzy, how many times!” the Consul grumbled. “No placing bets on the children. Besides, everyone knows it’s going to be Alexandra.”

“Hey!” her parents said at the same time.

“What are y’all doing here?” Lexi came running then, cause her superpower was to magically appear whenever someone was talking about her. “We have shit to do! Come on!”

“Not helping, Lettuce!” Daddy shook his head. “Clary, take the lead.”

Of course, it’s gonna be Lexi.

FHUJCSDUHSDUHJ SELENA NOT UNDERSTANDING THE INNUENDO MAGNUS MADE LMAO NOT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS

“My name is Alexander Lightwood-Bane. I’m the Consul of the Clave. You will talk to me with respect.”

Selena saw Zara flinch at that. It was satisfying to watch.

Zara, I will gladly feed you to sharks stfu

“You sound a little jealous,” Zara grinned. “If you want to come back, we can arrange that. You could leave that good for nothing husband of yours and-”

“Zara, I swear by the angel,” Aunt Izzy said through gritted teeth. “Insult my husband again and see what happens.”

ISABELLE YES! I NEED MORE SIZZY WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH OF THESE TWO

SHE DID NOT JUST INSULT MAX AND RAFE FUCK YOU BITCH

OH, NOW SHE INSULTED THE TWINS. I WILL DROWN YOU DO NOT TEST ME

“They called me a freak too,” her mother spoke. “Insult our children again and I will show you what freaks can do.”

YES CLARY

Max and David were really close. Like Daddy and Uncle Alec.

Maybe even closer. Like Uncle Alec and Magnus - cause one of them was a warlock! And they always gave each other dopey looks.

HJBASYUGJCESDYUTGVCSDUTVSDT6U7VSDC THIS! (I think they get together because of the snippet but if they don’t-)

The moment Magnus left, Max snatched the credit card and whistled. “Y’all, Christmas came early.”

“We can’t just buy anything, Max,” Rafe rolled his eyes. “Dad will be pissed when he finds out.”

“Maybe we should buy little things we can hide,” Max winked. “Little…but expensive things.”

“Oh, like diamond rings?” Lexi gleamed.

“What would you even do with diamond rings?” Selena demanded.

“Sell them in the black market in exchange for cash,” Lexi replied.

“By the angel, Lex,” Rafe chuckled. “I'm gonna keep both my eyes on you.”

LEXI YES OMG YES YES YES YES

“Your demands are unacceptable,” Rafe said, imitating his father. “How about ice-cream?”

“I accept your counter proposal,” Lexi nodded, imitating Daddy. “Let’s unleash hell in Baskin-Robbins.”

BASKIN ROBBINS BOUTA BE RAIDED BY 4 CHAOTIC CHILDREN LET’S GO

Holy fuck she has children. Who’s the poor father?

“These are my sisters Saraquel and Remiel and Michael,” the boy pointed at the girls, completely ignoring Rafe’s comment. “Our parents named us after the archangels.”

“And they called us angel freaks?” Lexi muttered incredulously.

“I know, Lexi. Fancy names indeed,” Max nodded. “But kinda hard to pronounce to be honest.”

A very genuine what the fuck

“My name is Alexandra James Herondale,” Lexi said, her voice steady. “And I am named after the greatest Consul and dopest archer of all time. He is a better man than any of your dumb archangels.”

YES LEXI YOU GO, GIRL

“Idris is lame,” Max snorted now. “You don’t even have internet.”

Lexi shuddered at that.

The reason I would never want to live in Idris

THE WAY SELENA WAS READY TO BEAT THE GUY UP WHEN HE INSULTED MAGNUS AND HOW MAX GOT ANGRY WHEN HE INSULTED DAVID

SELENA’S 10 BITCH FUCK YOU

“Holy shit!” one of the girls said. “That was kinda cool. Is that a twin thing?”

“It’s a common sense thing,” Lexi rolled her eyes. “Duck!”

People are idiots

But Selena tried not to think about the other girl. It didn’t matter whose daughter Michael was – it only mattered whose daughter Selena was.

And she was the daughter of Clary Fairchild and Jace Herondale.

She was not going to run.

GIRL YES

Y’ALL DON'T GET KILLED

AYY MAGNUS IS HERE THEY’RE ALL GONNA BE OK NOW

“It’s warlock magic,” the boy whispered – but not too quietly. “It’s demonic.”

Some of the ichor from the demons fell right on the boy’s head.

“Oops,” Magnus said. “Warlock magic is also a little clumsy.”

HVBCDSHJCSDYCDYJGCD THE BOY DESERVED IT!!!!!

“Manuel has an important meeting,” Zara rolled her eyes. “I’m stuck babysitting them.”

“It’s not babysitting when you do it!” Daddy said incredulously. “You’re their mother. It’s called parenting.”

GODDAMIT WOMAN DON'T HAVE CHILDREN IF YOU CAN’T TAKE CARE OF THEM

“He called David a bastard,” Lexi said.

“He did what?” her mother demanded.

“And he called Max a freak,” Selena said.

“He did what?” the Consul demanded.

“And he flirted with Selena,” Rafe made a face.

“HE DID WHAT?” Daddy looked murderous.

NAH BECAUSE WE’RE ALL DOWNRIGHT READY TO KILL THIS BITCH

ALSO, SELENA WAS SO RIGHT TO BREAK THE BOY’S NOSE.

“Look at them! Cahooting in demonic languages,” Zara sniffed.

“It’s Spanish,” Aunt Izzy said incredulously. “Your husband speaks it too!”

Zara you dumb shit-

That part where Magnus was checking up on all of them and seeing if they’re ok and the kids looked like they had never seen anything like that-

They deserve better. GODDAMN IT JULIAN BLACKTHORN MANAGED TO BE A BETTER PARENT 12

Her father held Selena’s hand in his. “You better raise your son to respect women, Zara – Because I’m raising my daughters to break noses.”

YES YES YES YES

He knelt down next to her and put a strand of hair behind her ear. “Can I tell you a secret, cupcake?”

Selena nodded. She loved secrets.

“People call me a freak too,” Magnus winked.

“You?” Selena gasped.

“Yes,” he nodded. “If people call you a freak, it means you are doing something different. Something bold. Something small minds will never be able to think of. So, it’s not an insult. Don’t forget that.”

YES THIS

AWWW THE LITTLE GIRL GAVE SELENA HER NECKLACE.

“Some people don’t like women in power.”

“Why not?”

“Because women get shit done.”

Selena giggled at that. “You said a bad word.”

“It’s not bad. Say it with me, Selena,” her mother said gently. “Women get shit done.”

YES WE GET SHIT DONE

“Are you saying I shouldn’t be afraid?” Selena asked. “I should be strong?”

“I'm saying you should be anything you want to be,” her mother kissed her head. “You can be brave like Izzy. You can be fearless like Emma. You can be kind like Cristina. You can be cool like Dru. You can be sensible like Maia. You can be confident like Lily. You can be smart like Tessa. You can be fierce like Diana. You can be geeky like me.”

Her mother held her face closely. “You get to decide what kind of woman you want to be. I want you to remember that - because there is no wrong way to be a woman.”

THIS! WE NEED TO HEAR THIS MORE OFTEN!

“The next time someone points fingers at you because you are a woman, go ahead and break them.”

DO IT

This was her mother.

Clary Fairchild. One of the most powerful shadowhunters.

Selena sometimes forgot that. Sometimes you forget your mom is so much more than your mom.

There is a person underneath that – someone full of dreams and hopes and talents you could never imagine.

SHE’S LITERALLY SO POWERFUL AND AMAZING IF I SEE ONE MORE PERSON HATE ON HER I'M GONNA KILL THEM

THE IDRIS VISION EDYUGYFEUGYUKGFEWUYTGFEWUTFEW7FE

Rafe was going to be their leader. He would be Selena’s Consul. She knew it.

Gigi was going to be just like Aunt Izzy. An amazing inventor. A chaos to be reckoned with.

Lexi was going to be the best fighter in the whole world. She would fly above everyone and everything.

And David and Max…Well, they seemed very happy with each other. Selena supposed that was enough. Like Uncle Alec and Magnus. To find something you can be happy with no matter what. Because sometimes there was no greater purpose than love.

And Selena….She knew exactly what she was going to do.

She was going to lead all of them back to Idris.

Explain why I'm crying reading this. I love them all so much. They mean so much to me already. SELENA ONE DAY YOU’RE GONNA LEAD THEM ALL BACK TO IDRIS I KNOW YOU WILL

This chapter was beautiful. I'm gonna be in a corner crying in case someone needs me. See ya on Friday!! (well technically it’ll be Saturday for me since for me the updates come after midnight)

THIS GAVE ME LIFE. LIFE, YA HEAR ME?

Also my favorite comment (which I might print on something) - GODDAMIT WOMAN DON'T HAVE CHILDREN IF YOU CAN’T TAKE CARE OF THEM

Also this made me laugh out loud so hard >> - GODDAMN IT JULIAN BLACKTHORN MANAGED TO BE A BETTER PARENT 12

#my bad about them tears but I am glad you enjoyed this one!!#lbaf #thank you!

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bytheangell · 4 years ago

Text

Throw Your Mercy Down

(S02E05 inspired fic) (Read on AO3)

“No one blames you.”

“They should.”

Alec wants to scream it, to shout it through the halls of the Institute. He isn’t being punished at all for killing Jocelyn, not so much as a stern reprimand or a temporary benching from active duty. It’s as if nothing happened at all - as if he didn’t take the life of a fellow Shadowhunter.

As if he didn’t kill Clary and Jace’s mother.

It’s his fault. They should blame him. They should hate him! He should’ve been stronger, strong enough to fight it, or at least smart enough to not let it get him in the first place.

Jace says he understands, but he doesn’t. Alec imagines that Jace understands the most out of anyone in his life, but even his parabatai doesn’t completely get it - if he did then he wouldn’t be trying to convince Alec to go back inside for debriefings and mission assignments like it’s just another day, Valentine or not.

He can’t go inside, and since he can’t hide on the rooftop forever now that Jace knows he’s here the only other option is to leave. Thankfully, Jace doesn’t try to follow.

Alec doesn’t know where he’s going until he’s almost there, realizing he instinctively walked towards Magnus’. Alec glances at the front door, considering the options of ringing the bell or calling to see if Magnus is even home first. Instead, he climbs the fire escape and just sits there for a while.

He isn’t sure if he even plans on going in. Right now just being here, somewhere that feels safe and familiar (that isn’t the Institute) is enough. He has fresh air, a view of the city, and he can just think without the concern of having to face anyone (Jace and Clary) he doesn’t want to.

He’s half-tempted to leave before Magnus notices he’s there when he hears the sound of the door opening beside him. Alec tries to deflect talking about what’s on his mind by bringing up Camille, and Magnus lets him. Magnus is open and honest about something that obviously upsets him to talk about, and it only drives home the fact that Alec isn’t doing the same, despite his previous promise not to push Magnus away when things get crazy.

This is as crazy as things have ever been for Alec, that’s for sure.

But how can he talk about it to Magnus and expect him to ever think of Alec the same way again? That goes double for Clary and Jace, and the others at the Institute.

“You’ll blow up the very ground you stand on to make something right.”

Right now, the ground he stands on is with Magnus. It’s a safe place to turn to when the Institute is too much. It’s the first steps towards a happiness he never imagined possible for himself. Is he willing to risk blowing up everything he’s so carefully started to build here, just to let Magnus in on why this guilt feels so consuming and insurmountable?

Alec glances from Magnus back down to his hands, then pulls the stele out of his pocket, lifts up the side of his shirt, and activates his Iratze. It’s been long enough that the wound will likely scar, but the worst of the damage will heal over shortly. He spends a few extra seconds looking at his hand, running his thumb gently over the already healing wound one last time.

Magnus’ gaze is softer when Alec finally looks back up to meet it. It strikes Alec how cautious Magnus is being with him, as if he’s afraid of scaring Alec away with one wrong move or misspoken word. Alec supposes that possibility isn’t so far off after how he reacted to Jace earlier.

“Do you want to come inside?”

Alec considers this. He still isn’t ready to face Clary at the Institute, and he wants to talk to Magnus the way Magnus was so willing to talk to him. He wants to try, at least.

“Alright,” Alec agrees, following Magnus indoors.

Magnus motions toward the drink cart in a silent offer but Alec shakes his head. “No. I need to go back at some point, probably sooner rather than later.” The last thing he needs is to risk more lives by showing up and going on patrol with alcohol in his system.

Magnus nods, and to Alec’s surprise begins to make them both tea instead of having a drink of his own. In the meantime, Alec is left alone with his thoughts. Even when Magnus returns and hands him a warm mug, he doesn’t force Alec to talk or ask him anything about Jocelyn or the attack.

Alec finally works up the nerve on his own, the words nearly exploding out of him in a sudden burst of frustration and confusion.

“I just don’t get it!” Alec admits. “How can Jace act like nothing happened? How can he or Clary ever forgive me? How can any of them ever rely on me again when I couldn’t help my own parabatai when he went missing, and I couldn’t even protect my own Institute from a demon!?”

“Alec, neither of those things are your fault. You did everything in your power to track Jace, and it nearly cost you your life. And as much as it terrifies me to even consider,” Magnus says, swallowing hard. “I’m relatively certain if there was anything you could’ve done to protect the Institute, no matter the cost to yourself, you would’ve done that, too.”

Alec sits with that for a minute or two, because Magnus is right. Alec knows it the moment he hears it - if he could’ve traded places with Jocelyn he would’ve without a second thought. If he could’ve taken out the demon before it entered the Institute, even if it cost his life, he would’ve done it to protect his family.

He could agree, and leave it at that. He could drop the conversation now and have opened up a little, even if it isn’t everything… but it doesn’t feel like enough. And now that he’s started talking about it he feels like he needs to say it all, to get everything out in the open before it eats away at him until he breaks.

“Even if the demon isn’t my fault, Jocelyn’s death is,” Alec insists, but his tone isn’t defiant - it’s sad and full of such deep, aching guilt.

“Alec, it isn’t-”

“Yes, it is,” Alec repeats, the words starting to flow before he can stop them. He needs to say it. He needs to let somebody know, so they can hate him for it as much as he hates himself. “The demon didn’t just pick the first random target that passed by me. It fed off negative emotions… it targeted Jocelyn because of me - because of the resentment I felt over her being the reason Clary showed up and started to ruin everything. Jace going behind my back, everything with Lydia, the cup, Izzy’s trial… it all started with Jocelyn’s disappearance. I resented her for all of it, but more than that...“ he hesitates here, but it isn’t as if he can take it back now, and this last part is just as important to admit. “I hated her for shooting at Jace that night, and for all the pain she’s caused him.”

Yes, he was possessed, and no, he wasn’t in full control of his own actions or mind… but it was his thoughts, his feelings, that drove the demon to pick Jocelyn out of everyone else in the Institute. Alec isn’t sure how he’s supposed to live with that knowledge for the rest of his life.

“Alec..” Magnus shifts on the sofa to face him fully now, moving closer with his arms slightly outstretched, palms up as he waits to see if Alec would welcome the touch of a hug just then. It’s such a gentle consideration that Alec doesn’t believe he deserves, and the kindness leaves unexpected tears stinging his eyes.

“I swear I didn’t want her dead, Magnus. No matter what I felt, I would never-”

Magnus closes the space between them before Alec can say another word, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Alec doesn’t bother to fight it - he’s too tired to do anything other than lean into the embrace, letting out a shuddering breath before that breath gives way to several heaving sobs.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Alec says, repeating it over and over despite Magnus’ muffled reassurances that it’s okay. It isn’t okay, everything is so far from okay, but it’s nice to hear just the same. After a confession like that, the fact that Magnus is still there at all and not turning away in disgust or running in the other direction really means something to Alec. It’s significant.

Magnus doesn’t hate him for it, and it’s the first time Alec allows himself to humor the idea that there’s a chance the others might not either, no matter what he thinks he deserves.

“I’m sorry,” Alec says again, not sure anymore if he’s apologizing for crying, or for dumping all of this on Magnus, or for what happened with Jocelyn.

“I know you are,” Magnus says, running soothing hands up and down Alec’s back and arms. “And so does everyone else.”

Sorry isn’t nearly enough, but neither is anything else he can think to say or do. It might be the best he has to offer at the moment. It’s certainly better than nothing… and Clary deserves better than the nothing he’s given her since the demon was killed.

Reluctantly, Alec pulls himself away from Magnus. “I should go back.”

“Are you sure? You can wait here as long as you need,” Magnus offers.

Alec nods. “Yeah, I’m sure. You were right earlier, you know. I ran because there is no way for me to make this right, not really, and I didn’t know what to do with that. But just because I can’t fix it doesn’t mean I get to freeze up and do nothing instead.”

Magnus nods, a small smile on his face. “You’re a good man, Alexander. And don’t you dare tell me you aren’t-” Magnus adds quickly, just as Alec opens his mouth to argue. Alec closes his mouth again, rolling his eyes slightly.

“Thank you, Magnus.” Alec leans in and gives Magnus a short, chaste kiss, before heading back to the Institute to face whatever comes next.

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #the coda fics continueeeeeeee #though this one is another expanded scene because apparently i'm a sucker for them #long post #elle writes a few deadbeat lines #elle talks too much

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echo-bleu · 4 years ago

Text

carve our names with fire

Clary gave Alec a wedding gift before losing her memories and her runes. Alec does with it what he does best: change the world to right an injustice (and become a BAMF immortal warlock along the way).

Alec & Clary Brotp with a side of Immortal Husbands, Angst and Fluff and Emotional Hurt/Comfort. Betaed by Bsgoddess (SorryTheUsernamesTaken). Takes off after Alec and Magnus announced their wedding, but the show happened over 3-ish years and the wedding is about a week after they come back from Edom, not the next day (because Timeline). The last part was loosely inspired by prompts on the Malec Discord Server, though it grew more world-building than I expected.

Read on AO3.

“You two will make amazing husbands.”

Alec looks up from his paperwork, realizing that he’s been unconsciously twirling his ring while reading. He didn’t hear Clary come into his office, but she’s leaning against the door frame, a small smile on her face.

They haven’t had time to talk properly since the announcement of Alec and Magnus’ wedding, with Jonathan wreaking havoc all over the world. But Jonathan is dead now, thanks to Clary.

“Thank you,” he grins at her sincerely. “I know it’s a little rushed, but with everything that’s happened, we decided we didn’t want to wait for the next catastrophe. At this pace, we’ll never find time to plan a proper wedding.”

“That’s fair,” Clary snorts. “We never seem to get a break.”

They’re still reeling from the deaths of several hundred Shadowhunters, just days ago. Alec has done his best to go to as many Rites of Mourning as he could, especially for people he knew, but even he couldn’t make it to every one of them. After being surrounded by so much grief, he’s more than ready for a slice of happiness. Magnus is in a frenzy preparing everything for the wedding tomorrow, and Alec can’t wait.

“I’m sure it’s going to be beautiful,” Clary continues, walking into the office fully. She closes the door behind her, and Alec frowns. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Of course,” Alec gestures for her to sit on the couch, while he stands up and comes around his desk. He sits down beside her. “What is it?”

Clary looks down at her lap, biting her lip, and Alec feels dread pooling his stomach. She’s so uncharacteristically quiet that it can only mean bad news.

“I haven’t told anyone else yet,” she starts. “I don’t want to ask you to keep it a secret, but I can’t carry it on my own anymore.”

Alec places a hesitant hand on her arm. They rarely touch, but it seems appropriate. “Clary, what’s wrong?”

“I saw my mom the other day,” Clary breathes out.

Alec stares in shock. He lets go of Clary’s arm and glances down at his hand, the same hand that once ripped Jocelyn Fairchild’s heart out of her chest. Even now, almost two years later, he doesn’t feel clean of that. He can still feel the blood, see her face in his nightmares, Clary’s face accusing him. He has plenty of newer traumas to dream about, and it’s started to fade, but it’s not gone.

“What?” he croaks out. Is Clary having the same nightmares? Is she seeing things? It doesn’t match the way she said it, with that intense conviction in her eyes.

Clary’s eyes widen like she just realized how that sounded. “Not like… She was a...ghost, maybe? I don’t know. She felt real. She said she was sent by the Angels to give me a message.”

“A message,” Alec repeats slowly.

“I know how it sounds, but I think that’s the truth,” Clary says. “Because what she told me would happen...it’s started.”

“Clary, I don’t understand.”

She closes her eyes, her face screwed up in anguish. “She said that my rune ability was against the wish of the Angels and that if I kept using it, they’d take it away. They’d take everything away. Everything that makes me a Shadowhunter.”

Alec blinks for a moment, trying to make sense of it. “When was that?” he asks.

“The day after we got back from Edom.”

“You used a rune to kill Jonathan,” Alec breathes.

Clary looks up at his face then and nods minutely. She rolls up her sleeve, showing off unmarred skin where Alec saw a Silent Brother draw the angelic rune just a year ago. “It’s already started,” she murmurs. “They’re fading. One by one.”

“So you’re being...deruned? No,” Alec realizes. It’s different. Deruning is a Nephilim punishment, a human one. It strips them of their runes, but not of their identity, of their blood. “It’s more than that, isn’t it?”

“I think…” Clary hesitates, tears falling down her cheeks. “I think when it’s over, I’m going to be mundane. Fully. Without the Sight, and any memories of the Shadow World.”

“Fuck, Clary,” Alec mutters. “There must be something we can do—”

“I don’t think we can go against the Angels’ wish, Alec.”

Alec closes his eyes, his mind desperately running through possibilities and scenarios. He doesn’t see a solution. She’s right, the Angels’ wish is untouchable, they all know that. There’s no army to fight, no law to circumvent, no obstacle to overcome.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and feels the knot in his throat grow until it’s nearly choking him. He’s not ready to lose another friend, not now. And Jace… Fuck. Jace will be devastated. Izzy, too. None of them can take another disaster.

He takes in Clary’s red and puffy eyes, the way she’s looking at him like a lifeline. She’s become a friend, over the years. They didn’t start that way, but they’ve grown close. She’s the person closest to Alec outside of his family and Magnus. He blinks back tears.

“You’ll still be alive,” he murmurs. “But—”

“I’ll forget you. All of this,” she gestures around them. “Everything. I’m scared, Alec.”

Alec holds out his hand, and she grips it tightly in hers. He covers them with his other hand. “How long?” he asks.

“I don’t know. I only have two runes left, so not long. Tomorrow, maybe the day after.”

Alec closes his eyes. She might not even make it to the wedding. “Fuck,” he repeats.

“I don’t want to forget,” Clary murmurs, sobbing.

“It’s going to be okay,” Alec says softly. Neither of them believes it.

At least she’ll be okay, most likely. If she forgets everything, loses her angel blood, she’ll be just another mundane. She’ll be safe. Alec tries hard to hang onto that and not on the pain to come.

Because if he even lets himself imagine it, he’ll crumble.

“Why tell me first?” he asks.

Clary hesitates, biting her lip. Her sobs have receded, though tears are still running down her cheeks. She sniffles. “You’re in charge of the Institute, so you need to know. For, you know, patrols and stuff. I didn’t want you to be caught by surprise.”

Alec swallows, touched by her foresight. It’s hard to remember sometimes that she’s the same girl who once trampled on every rule without care. She still doesn’t follow orders blindly, but she’s come to care about the Institute and its Shadowhunters like they’re her family.

And in a few days, none of that growth will matter anymore. She’ll be gone. Alec wants to retch at the injustice of it all. She’s come so far, and this punishment is truly unfair.

But then, why should the Angels be fairer than the Nephilim? Alec once sat in this same office waiting for his sister to be convicted of treason and deruned. He watched his mother be stripped of her runes and her identity. Clary herself was sentenced to death for bringing Jace back to life.

They both know all too well that life isn’t fair.

“There’s another reason,” Clary says after a moment of silence. “I wanted to give you something. It’s a wedding gift, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold on until then, so I wanted to give it to you now.”

She pulls back her hands and takes a folded piece of paper out of her pocket. Alec carefully unfolds it, expecting some kind of drawing, but what jumps out at him is a rune, carefully inked onto the thick paper. One he doesn’t recognize.

“I can still create runes, even if I don’t dare activate them,” Clary explains. “It will work, I know it.”

“What is it?” Alec asks. It has similar elements to the Alliance rune, Clary’s most beautiful invention to date, but it’s also different, rounder, and more complex.

“I didn’t give it a name,” Clary says. “You can name it if you want. Or keep it to yourself and never use it. It’s your choice.”

“You’re rambling,” Alec says, almost amused despite the gravity of the moment.

“Sorry. It works kind of like the Alliance rune, but it requires a strong emotional bond. There are elements of the Wedding rune and the Parabatai rune in it.”

Alec tilts his head, and he can recognize it now, the familiar runes almost intertwined with each other.

“Shared between two people,” Clary says slowly, “it should bind souls and bodies together. You’d share blood, powers, emotions. And it’s permanent.”

Alec’s eyes widen as he takes in the implications of that. “Sharing powers…”

“Yes. If you do it with Magnus, you should be able to share his eternal youth.”

“Clary, this is—” Alec breathes, unable to formulate his overwhelming gratitude. “It’s an incredible gift.”

Clary swallows. “I wanted you to have it before—” she gestures vaguely. “I didn’t talk about it earlier because I wasn’t sure I could make a rune that powerful, but I know this one will work.”

Alec closes his eyes briefly to clear them of tears and pulls her into a hug. She melts into his chest, sobbing. “I want you to know that I’m incredibly grateful for everything you did for us,” he says over her shoulder. “We owe you so much.”

“Even if I didn’t obey the rules?” she hiccups. “I caused you a lot of trouble.”

“But you saved us over and over too,” Alec says. “You brought Jace back to life. You’re the reason we got Magnus back. You’ve been through so much in the past few years, but you’re still here coming up with the most incredible gift for my wedding, even when you’re running out of time…”

“I can’t tell Jace and Izzy,” Clary sobs into his shoulder. “Izzy just asked me to be her parabatai. And Jace… I can’t say goodbye. It’s too hard.”

Alec hugs her tighter. “It’s okay. I’ll tell them for you if you want. Anything you need.”

“I love them. I love you. I love you all so much. To think that I won’t remember anything…”

Alec runs a hand through her hair, gently. “We’ll make sure that you’re alright. And… I’ll keep looking. Maybe there’s something we can do to make the Angels let you come back. If not, maybe we can figure out how to bring you back ourselves. I won’t give up.”

“Thank you,” Clary murmurs. “Take care of Jace for me. He’ll need you.”

“I will. I promise.”

They hold each other until Clary’s sobs subside, and she’s able to compose herself. Alec keeps a tight grip on his own emotions, even though they threaten to spill over. He’s long learned to compartmentalize, and he can’t afford to break down in the middle of a workday. But before he goes back home to Magnus that night, he takes out the folded sheet of paper again and studies it until his sight goes blurry and he has tears running down his cheeks. He goes to the roof with his bow, working his anger into the arrows he sends out in the sky, and he runs to Magnus’ loft without a speed run, his lungs burning.

When Magnus asks him what’s wrong, he can only shake his head and hug him tight.

He’s dancing with Magnus when Clary leaves. He’s tried to keep an eye on her most of the night, once the ceremony was done, but he misses her running out and only realizes she’s gone when Jace starts to look for her.

The party is coming to an end. Alec excuses himself to Magnus for a while and he tracks Clary down, two blocks away, where he finds her looking around her in confusion.

“Who are you?” she asks when he calls her name. “Don’t come any closer!”

Alec sighs, the knot in his throat threatening to explode, and he raises his hands in a gesture of peace. “I don’t mean any harm,” he says. “You just seemed lost.”

“I’m—” She looks around again, frantically. “I don’t know where I am.”

“I’ll call you a cab, okay?” Alec offers. He falters, realizing that Clary doesn’t have a home to go to anymore. Jocelyn’s dead, and Clary will have to suffer the loss of her mother all over again. “Is there anyone you can call? A friend?”

“Yeah,” Clary says. She pats her dress. “I’ve...I think I lost my phone.”

“I’ll lend you mine,” Alec says. “I’m Alec, by the way.”

“Clary.”

Alec forces the pain away and attempts a smile. “Nice to meet you.”

“I told you you’d make amazing husbands.”

Alec looks up from his paperwork in surprise, and he’s overtaken by a strong sense of deja-vu. It isn’t the same office or even the same city, but the way Clary is leaning against the door frame reminds him exactly of the day before she left. She seems aware of the parallel, grinning at him conspiratorially.

“You did,” he smiles. “Welcome back, Clary.”

She looks different, and yet the same. Her skin is free of runes, and she has a new haircut that makes her look older, but there’s the same light in her eyes. It’s been a year. A year of Jace moping around the Institute, his pain a constant tug on the parabatai bond. A year of missing her, more than Alec never thought he would.

“Thank you.”

Jace called Alec just hours after Clary recognized him at her show, three weeks ago, but Alec hasn’t been able to join them in New York yet. She regained her memories quickly, in only a few days, once it started. Jace and Izzy have been keeping him updated.

“So that’s where it went,” Clary says, staring at the large abstract painting on the wall. “I thought it was you and Magnus, but I wasn’t sure. It’s hard to reconcile those memories together.”

Alec looks up at it, at the signature that looks suspiciously like a rune in the shape of a C and F in the bottom right corner. “It was us,” he confirms. They’ve been to every single one of her school’s shows, buying multiple paintings while having to pretend they didn’t know her. “We have more of them at home. Magnus felt it was a way to keep you with us. He’s missed you a lot.”

“I know,” Clary says. “We had lunch a couple of days ago. He didn’t tell you?”

Alec laughs. “He did. He recounted every minute of it. He was excited.”

Clary tilts her head playfully. “Is he the only one who missed me?”

“I’m pretty sure Jace thought of you once or twice. Izzy, too,” Alec smirks. “Of course we all missed you. Come here,” he stands up and opens his arms.

She bounces up to him and hugs him tight around the middle, the top of her head barely reaching his shoulders. Alec laughs and leans into the embrace. “I’ve missed you,” he murmurs.

“I’d say I’ve missed you too, but—” Clary shrugs, pulling away to look up at him. “I felt like something was missing, the whole time. And ugh, I didn’t remember you were so tall.”

Alec raises an eyebrow. “You didn’t remember me at all,” he deadpans. “More seriously, I meant to come to see you, but things have been hectic over here.”

“I heard you made Inquisitor. That’s amazing, Alec!”

“Yeah, it’s, uh, very recent,” Alec blushes. He still hasn’t learned to take a compliment, but his promotion is something he can take pride in. It’s an incredible testimony of how far the Clave has come in just a couple of years. Not so long ago, a Shadowhunter who chose to marry a Downworlder would have been cast out or at least kept carefully out of any politically significant position. And now he’s here, barely turned twenty-five, in the second highest Clave office. “Magnus is the High Warlock of Alicante now,” he adds. Because of that, the Clave asking his husband to help Downworlders move back into Idris after centuries of fleeing the Shadowhunters’ increasing restrictions, is something Alec will never not be proud of.

“You haven’t changed,” Clary observes, smiling. “I was worried you’d turned into a high and mighty prick, now that you’re such a big name.”

Alec rolls his eyes and snorts. “I’m not Jace,” he reminds her. “Come on, let’s sit down. Do you have some time? I can take my lunch break, there’s a restaurant around the corner.”

“Sure,” Clary nods. “I have an appointment with the Silent Brothers to determine if my body’s ready to take runes again, but I came early to see you.”

“Great. We have a lot of catching up to do.”

“Did you use it? The rune?” Clary leans in over her dessert in curiosity. They’ve been catching up for the past hour in a booth at the back of the restaurant, and it almost feels like they saw each other yesterday, for how comfortable and easy it is to get back into their banter. Alec has missed this.

He leans back in his seat, his stomach full. “Yeah,” he says, placing a hand over his heart where the rune is located. “We exchanged them two months ago.”

“Does it work?” Clary asks with a spark in her eyes.

Alec turns his hand palm up over the table and focuses. It doesn’t come easily to him, not yet. He’s been training with Magnus, but magic is much harder than it looks, so they’ve been focusing on controlling his random outbursts whenever he’s stressed more than developing his active magic.

Blue strands of light encircle his hand briefly, leaving in their wake a yellow rose. He hands it to Clary, who gives him a wide smile and turns it in her hands to observe it. “Wow!” she exclaims. “Yer a wizard, Alec.”

Alec bites on his finger to contain his laughter. He’s learned far too many mundane cultural references through osmosis with Simon and weekly movie nights at the loft, while Clary was gone.

“We had my blood and magic analyzed by the researchers at the Spiral Labyrinth, and they say I’m immortal too,” he says. “Or more exactly, tied to Magnus’ immortality. But since he’s tied to my life force too, it makes us functionally invincible. Someone would have to kill us both at the same time for it to stick.”

“That’s amazing,” Clary breathes. “More than I even thought of when I made the rune.”

“We have a lot to thank you for,” Alec reaches out to pat her hand. “More than you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“This rune allowed us to make huge strides in magical theory, and specifically angelic magic. It’s part of the reason why I’ve been so busy because I’m also working with our researchers on several projects.” Alec pauses, realizing he’s getting ahead of himself and Clary can’t follow. “Okay, so when you gave me the rune, I told Magnus about it right after our wedding. He was blown away that you would give us such a gift, by the way. I’m sure he’ll want to thank you himself.”

Clary smiles. “He’ll have plenty of time for that, now that I’m back for good,” she says.

Alec nods. “Since you said it was permanent, we took our time to make the decision. Immortality is not something to be taken lightly. For me, it wasn’t even really a question, but Magnus wanted me to be sure that it was what I wanted.”

“That makes sense,” Clary nods.

“We also wanted to make sure that the rune would work the way you said it did, that it wouldn’t have any…unforeseen side effects.”

Clary frowns. “I never had a problem with my runes.”

“Honestly, Clary, you used them mostly in emergencies, with no regard for safety. Maybe it was warranted then, but this time we weren’t willing to gamble both of your lives on it. Especially when it came to using a rune on a warlock.”

“Of course,” Clary says sheepishly. “Ugh, I was rather impulsive, wasn’t I?”

“You could say that,” Alec grumbles, remembering all the times her hasty decisions landed him in hot water with his parents or the Clave. “Anyway, we researched the hell out of it. Every text we could find on rune creations, on the wedding rune and its variations, we even looked into warlock archives that hadn’t been opened for centuries. And that’s how I figured it out.”

“Figured what out?”

“How you created runes. And why the Angels hated it.”

“This is what we’re working on,” Alec says, letting Clary into the lab. “It’s all confidential, but since you’re the one who started it all, I figured you deserve to know. And I’m the one who decides who is read in on it anyway.”

Clary looks around in wonder. The room has some of the equipment she’d expect in a lab and some she doesn’t recognize, but what attracts her gaze is the large corkboard in the middle, covered with sheets of paper.

On each of them is a rune. A rune she’s never seen before.

“They’re all new runes?” she asks.

“Yes,” Alec answers, leaning his back against the wall. “What clued me in was how you used elements of several existing runes to create a new one. I copied down every rune from the Gray Book and all of your runes and I started looking for patterns. We’ve always known that some basic elemental runes existed, but not that they could be combined. It took me a few months, but I came up with this.” He points at a rune at the top left of the board, which Clary can see is based on the Deflect rune, with two additional strikes going through it.

“Of course you would,” she mutters. “That’s some kind of armor rune, isn’t it?”

Alec smiles. “As it turns out, everyone can create runes, at least in theory. It’s very hard and requires a strong theoretical background unless you’re named Clary Fairchild and you have additional angel blood. Or maybe just an amazing instinct, I don’t know. Yes, this one imitates armored plates around your body. It’s more effective at stopping blows than the regular Deflect rune, but it doesn’t stop people from tracking you.”

“That’s amazing,” Clary says.

“As soon as I saw it work, I told Magnus and we worked on it together. It’s the biggest discovery about angelic magic that we’ve made in centuries.”

“Why did no one find it before?”

Alec pushes away from the wall to face her fully. “Soon after I used this rune for the first time, I started experiencing the same thing you did: push back from the Angels. Even drawing normal runes became harder. We got scared that I might be deruned like you were, so Magnus and I decided to go ahead with your rune, bind ourselves together. If I had magic, the Angels couldn’t take away my Sight or my memories.”

“That sounds like a plan me or Jace would have come up with, not you,” Clary quips.

“Yeah, well, things were evolving quickly. I could barely hold a stele at that point,” Alec says, frowning.

Clary blinks. “Wow, the Angels really were angry.”

“The bond fixed it. I’m out of reach now, they can’t do anything to me. And now that I knew what I was looking for, I found accounts of other people to whom it happened, who lost their Nephilim blood because of this. You have to read between the lines because it became taboo to even talk about it, but it looks like the Angels don’t want us to have this ability. Jonathan Shadowhunter probably had it, he had more pure Angel blood than you and he’s the one who created all the original runes, but since then, no Shadowhunter has been able to create new runes. Until you.”

“But I got punished for it,” Clary says, wringing her hands. Her memories of the last few days before she was stripped of her runes don’t feel fresh like the events happened yesterday, but they also don’t feel like they’re a year old. She can still see her mother’s ghost, or whatever it was, telling her what would happen if she kept using new runes.

It’s been a year, but without her memories, she hasn’t had a chance to process all the trauma, all the emotions.

“Yeah,” Alec sighs. “You certainly didn’t deserve it, but you were.”

Clary shakes her head, trying to get rid of the darker thoughts. “Obviously you didn’t stop there,” she says, gesturing at the board. “So what did you do?”

“Well, since my warlock blood protects me, I started thinking about who else might be protected. I reached out to Helen Blackthorn, you remember her?”

“Oh, she’s half-Seelie, isn’t she?”

“Yes. She and her brother. They were both willing to try working with us, especially since Magnus and I were fairly sure we could stop the process if we were wrong and the Angels were able to harm them. As it turns out, they did fine. So I found more Shadowhunters with Downworlder blood. At this point, we have eight people creating new runes, including me.”

“That’s incredible,” Clary says. She looks closer at the runes on the board. She can instinctively tell their purpose, which is proof that her ability hasn’t gone away. Alec lets her observe them for a while in silence, and she thinks she can discern a pattern in there like the runes have a signature. “That’s yours,” she points at a rune in the middle of the board, once she’s fairly sure she’s understanding her instincts right. “And this one.”

“You’re right,” Alec says, sounding impressed.

“You have a...tell,” Clary smirks, looking at him over her shoulder. “They feel distinctively you. I can probably find Magnus’ too, but I’d need a place to start since I’ve never seen him draw a rune.”

“Here,” Alec points to one on the right side of the board. “Can you tell because of your rune ability, or because you’re an artist?”

“Maybe a bit of both,” Clary shrugs. “I’m not sure. I should have known this was Magnus’,” she laughs when she looks at the rune. The flourish and artistic strokes look exactly like something Magnus would go for.

“We definitely need you in our group,” Alec mutters, jotting down a note on a pad on the desk beside him.

“I don’t know,” Clary says, taking a step back away from the board. “I don’t want to tempt fate. I don’t think I could stand to lose my memories again.”

“No, of course,” Alec says. “But I don’t think it would happen.”

“Why?”

“Magnus’ theory is that if enough Shadowhunters start creating runes, the Angels will just have to accept it since they can’t cast us out. Since our wedding, there are more and more mixed Nephilim and Downworlder couples, so there will probably be a whole generation of people with mixed blood. They’ll be able to create runes.”

“What does that have to do with me?” Clary asks.

“I don’t think it was a coincidence that the Angels chose to give you your memories back now. The breakthroughs that we’ve made aren’t going away. I think it’s their way of telling us that they won’t fight us anymore.”

Clary blinks at him, trying to process that idea. She remembers asking Maryse, at the wedding, if the Angels could forgive. The picture of the Angels that Alec paints is cold and calculating, matching with what Clary saw of Raziel — and to some extent, even Ithuriel. What if she wasn’t forgiven, but instead simply reinstated in her rightful place? What if Alec managed the unthinkable, and made the Angels themselves change their minds?

“Is that possible? I mean — wow.”

“Why not?” Alec shrugs.

Clary has a sudden flashback of the Alec she first met, over four years ago, who was terrified of coming out and upsetting the order of things, who was killing himself trying to meet his parents’ expectations. The man standing in front of her now has grown so much, just like Clary has, that they’re barely recognizable. To hear him talking so casually about changing the world-changing immutable laws such as those of the Angels?

But then, they’ve changed so much already, haven’t they? They participated in the destruction of Edom. They defeated the Mother of Demons. They explored and even created whole new sections of magic. Alec and Magnus’ marriage and their careers changed the laws of the Clave and opened the way for so much more.

They’ve already changed the world. So why not a little more, indeed?

Clary jumps at Alec’s neck, making him grunt in surprise. “This is amazing,” she says. “You’re amazing. And I’m so glad I’m back.”

“Me too,” Alec laughs, resting his chin on the top of her head. “Welcome home, Clary.”

#shadowhunters #alec lightwood #clary fray #malec #clary fairchild #mine #echo's fanfiction #malec discord server #hm discord

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beclynn-herondale · 4 years ago

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Inside TMI Gang's diaries part 5 1/2

(long post)

Clary: Dear diary, so the Clave didn't end up punishing me because I didn't technically break any rules when I brought Jace back, but some peeps are staring at me still and like bish you're making me uncomfortable, also I don't know where Jace is and I feel this deep emptiness without him. I decided I am gonna ask the Seelie Queen for help, and no brain you ain't stopping me k, Alec and Izzy will be with me on this and Simon. Also just wait Sebastian just wait, I am gonna show you who to truly be afraid of. But first coffee

*Later*

So shit happened, I went to the Seelie Queen and she asked me to steal these rings, but like I was like no, but I decided to take them for myself, anyway I saw Jace and Sebastian, and Jace looked completely fine, he looked happy, like nothing is even bothering him, and then i said I didn't get the rings, like a lier, and that night Jace broke into my bedroom and we kinda kissed, and I found out he is basically a puppet for Sebastian, and if you hurt or kill Sebastian you hurt or kill Jace, and just whatever life whatever, also Sebastian stabbed Luke and now Luke may die, my mom is taking us to Magnus' and now that we are here he called it saint Magnus' for wayword Shadowhunters, and me and my mom got into a fight, she said stuff about Jace and like that's the thing I am sensitive about, so I decided to tell Simon to meet me and I shall run away and save Jace, I am always gonna be the knight and him the Damsel. Also Simon is the best friend, now I gotta go kill my brother. Need some coffee first.

Possessed Jace: Dear diary, all is well in the day of being evil and running around with Sebastian, he is alright, anyway we are off to cause chaos, I want to try and take Clary with us tho. Also I am not sure but something weird may have happened between me and Sebastian the other night, I can't remember exactly, but it was weird.

*Later*

We broke into Clary's house and I tried to take her with us but Sebastian had to be unpleasant, he may be hungry, he gets hangry when he doesn't eat enough, I plan on coming back for Clary though, oh also Luke got hurt, that one feels bad. Oh and Clary did come back and she is with us now, I love her. Oh also Sebastian and me have gotten up to some stuff, he is a genius, and he is so evil, I love it.

Jace: I am gonna murder him, this bish is so stupid, oh shit wait is this me again? I feel like I am banging on a wall. Who says love that much?

Alec: Dear diary, a lot has happened, Jace is still kidnapped and the Clave didn't end up punishing Clary, thank the angel. I am sneaking behind Magnus' back and I hate it but what else am I supposed to do?, Clary wants to meet with the Seelie Queen and I have a bad feeling about it, she isn't trustworthy, but I guess we have no choice cause the Clave won't help much anymore. Izzy is ready to fight anyone. Magnus is still not sharing much and is avoiding topics, and he doesn't know about Camille. But Camille is the worst, how could Magnus ever have dated her, he's so good and hot, and kind and sexy, he's also giving and attractive, he's beautiful and has a beautiful soul.

*Later*

Still sneaking around, still hate being around Camille. Jace apparently was at the Institute with Sebastian and they were acting like buddies, Jace is my parabatai, Sebastian you little shit. And then Jace and Sebastian went to Clary's house and attacked so now Clary is here at Magnus' and so is Jocelyn. Life keeps getting weirder, and everything is going to hell, if Jace were here, he'd have a way to lighten the mood.

Magnus: Dear diary, breathe Magnus, breathe, thankfully Biscuit is fine, Blondie is still kidnapped. Izzy and Simon have tension between them and I want nothing to do with that drama, I know.i usually like drama but Shadowhunter drama is a mess. Camille is god knows where, probably being evil. Sebastian is still on the loose, probably being evil as well, no definitely being evil. Alec has been distant lately. Chairman Meow is a comfort as always. I am trying to track down blondie, but I have had no luck, Sebastian is good I'll give him that. The Clave is a pain in my ass as usual. And the Seelie Queen is a raging bish, some things never change.

*Later*

So. . . Apparently Sebastian and blondie were at the Institute and after that attacked Clary and Jocelyn in their house, Luke was injured and hopefully will be okay. As always, Saint Magnus' is where Jocelyn and Clary went to, I am like the safe haven for wayword Shadowhunters. Clary and Jocelyn just got into a fight, Mother and Daughter drama is never one you want to get into the middle of but Biscuit isn't necessarily in the wrong here. But I don't want people to explode on me and Jocelyn would so. . . Anyway, I suspect Izzy will be here soon and maybe Simon. Hopefully we'll figure out where Jace is somehow, everyone is miserable and I never noticed how much of a light he actually was until he was gone, and yes I am surprised by those words myself.

Izzy: Dear diary, life is only chaos and a mess as usual, I can't get Simon out of my head and I don't know why, I have never been this way with someone before, ahhhhhhhhh. Anyway the Clave didn't punish Clary so that's good, I would have fought them if they had tried anything. Jace is still missing and we still have no idea where he is, the Clave is deciding he isn't a priority anymore, and if not for me wanting to play it cool I would have thrown some unkind words, but I am also not surprised. But we'll find Jace and save him, I won't accept anything else, there is no way in hell I am losing another brother.

*Later*

Clary saw Jace and Sebastian at the Institute and then apparently they broke in her house, and tried to take her, and Clary says Jace wasn't Jace, that he believed Sebastian was right and I swear whatever Sebastian did to my bro, he is gonna pay for. Still can't stop thinking about Simon and I want to punch a tree, Jace would have said "What did the tree ever do to you" I miss that weirdo, I am heading over the Magnus' cause that's where Clary and Jocelyn are, Luke got hurt bad, hopefully things will be alright. Also Simon wasn't at his and Jordan's apartment, I got a little drunk and may have spilled some stuff to Jordan and I regret it. Anyway I am gonna try to get ahold of Simon and ask him to come, there's something about him that comforts me.

Simon: Dear diary, life as a teenager has been so hard, as usual, being a vampire still kinda sucks, my mom hates me, Jace is still missing, Clary and Izzy are both wrecks, and I just want a chiller times. There's something between Jordan and Maia but I be staying away, I have no idea what me and Izzy are relationship wise, Clary thankfully didn't get in trouble with the Clave. Sebastian is creepy af. I think I am gonna listen to mcr and be angst.

*Later*

Shit got very real again, apparently Jace and Sebastian attacked Clary at her house and Luke was hurt, also apparently you can't hurt or kill Sebastian with hurting or killing Jace, that's just amazing isn't it. Clary and Jocelyn are at Magnus', - although Clary isn't anymore, in fact she is right in front of me telling me her crazy plan to go after Jace, Jocelyn is gonna go mama bear on me, but I can't stop Clary that's never been an option with her, apparently we are gonna keep in contact with the faerie rings Clary secretly stole, it keeps getting worse, this is all gonna be bad. And to top it off I am ignoring Becky and she is gonna come after me if I don't respond soon, but how can I when there's so much. - later, Izzy wants me at Magnus' and I still don't know what we are, but I'll always be there for her, if she lets me.

Sebastian: Dear evil diary, I have to say I have been having a lot of fun, Jace thinks something weird happened between us the others night, and something did but he'll never know what ;), I plan to kidnap my sister and take her with us no matter what it takes, me and Jace have plans, evil plans. We are at the Institute for something, and after that when night comes we plan to find my sister, I know Jace won't do anything without her, she's the only thing that keeps him not fully in my control. Anyway I am to do evil.

*Later*

We broke into Clary's house and she was mad, like I thought you'd be happy to see your boyfriend who has been missing, little sister. But apparently not? And I tried to kill that werewolf but he may survive. Mother will pay. Jace says he's sure Clary will come, honestly his love and trust in her is strange and I do not understand it, father would be disgusted, but I need Jace and I want Clary as well, so I'll do what it takes. Evil is out.

Church: Dear cat diary, I am so fucking done, you have no idea how done I am, Herondale and Fairchild did stuff in the past that led to Herondale getting possessed. Jem you would know what to do, please save me. Herondale is probably gonna have something tragic again *sigh*, Fairchild isn't gonna sit by and do nothing, it isn't in her blood. Lightwood 1 is off and I don't know what it is but he has something, Lightwood 2 may well explode as and I wouldn't want to be in the middle of that, tho I would like to see her go off on the Clave *cat grins*, Sebastian is another evil guy, why do I bother to learn their names? Jem if you were here, Simon is idk, he is doing something, Magnus is Magnus, and I may try and visit Chairman Meow, seeing them may help my cat stress levels. Everything is shit, the world is going to shit, and my Jem isn't here to save me, and I want some frickin tuna.

Tagging @chibi-tsukiko , idk if you want to be tagged in this but I know you said to start tagging you 🙈

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bonniebird · 4 years ago

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The Sight

Clary x Male!Reader

Requested by Anon

The advice had been to find the High-Warlock of Brooklyn and he could fix everything. The fact that they had mentioned warlock in the same conversation as finding someone to fix the weird things you were seeing, made you feel worse.

Being back in Brooklyn made you feel uncomfortable. Your family had moved away when you had started to see things. Monsters, demonic faces on strangers in the street and black leather clad gang members, covered in tattoos. Someone had found you and explained that you had something called the sight and that you were valuable in the war against Nephalim. You’d run away from home when you found that they had convinced your parents into some sort of cult like worship of your gift.

Now you were stumbling through the streets, away from a stranger who had been staring at you. Though in their defence, you’d been staring at what you thought could be a stinger arching from their back. Starting to run at the sound of footsteps you tried to remember the name of the street, Magnus Bane’s home was on. You plunge into someone and gasp as you straighten up. “Clary?” you said uncertainty as you looked at the girl in front of you. She looked just like Clary but she was dressed like the… the people that were supposed to be Nephailim.

“They can see you? I swear if this is another secret Shadowhunter thing..!” A blond boy said as he came up to her.

“Oh god. This is it. I’m finally cracking. I’m going insane.” You muttered to yourself as you tried to hold onto the wall. Your legs buckled under you and Clary grabbed hold of you. “Magnus Bane isn’t even real. Just someone you made up.” You muttered.

“Wait, did they say Magnus?” Another voice added.

“We don’t have time for this, we need to get that demon. They’re hunting down Mundanes!” A third, or maybe fourth voice said.

“Izzy, you deal with that. Alec will you help me take (Y/N) to…”

********************

You shot up to your feet and stumbled around the strange room. You couldn’t tell where you were or who had gotten hold of you but you soon recognised Clary. “(Y/N), you’re ok. I got you to Magnus.”

“You’re lucky you ran into Clary. Alec said some sort of Demon was following you.” A man said quickly as he hurried over.

“This is real?”

“It is.” He answered.

“You’re real, not some sort of fever dream?”

“It’s been a long time since someones asked me that, but yes.”

“You’re telling me I’m not insane. That all that stuff I’ve been seeing is real! Those people that got to my parents want me to… look for Nephilim!” You rambled on and Clary hurried over to give you a hug.

“That would explain what those new demons are doing in town.” Alec said from the edge of your view. Magnus hummed in agreement and moved so Cary could sit with you.

“You’ve been seeing these things for a while?” She asked and you nodded.

“It’s why we moved. The doctor I saw said it would help. We just live in a gated community of… weirdos that want to hunt Nephilim.” You answered.

“We have to help protect (Y/N). I know Simon will agree with me so that means, Raphael will agree. There’s no way Luke will let (Y/N) be used like that. He wouldn’t allow it.” Clary said firmly to Alec who sighed.

“If Magnus can keep him here for a few days and figure out what's going on. Then I am sure that some sort of amnesty can be offered.” Alec said diplomatically.

“I don’t need a few days. He’s always had the sight. The only difference is that Jocelyn and I are no longer powerful enough to keep him from seeing things. We haven’t been for a long while.” Magnus said casually.

“You knew that this would happen to him!” Clary snapped and he shook his head.

“I knew that I hadn’t heard from the warlocks I asked to watch over him, for a long while. I certainly didn't think that a demonic cult had gotten their hands on his family. Your mother tried to beg and plead for him to stay. She even offered to take him on when his parents said he was too much for them. There was nothing we could do.” Magnus offered and Clary could see by the strained pain on his face he was being honest with her.

“So what are you going to do, to help him now?” She demanded.

“Unfortunately it is now up to you Clary. You can craft your own runes. He isn’t one of you but he isn’t human. Not demonic but… something. You’ll need to craft a run for him and I will ask for the warlocks and vampires to be on the lookout for the people after him. I’m sure Luke will do that same.” Magnus explained and you felt Clary’s hand squeeze on your shoulder.

“I’m not human?” You asked and he sighed.

“Yes and no. Which is not the answer that you want. But someone like you is in between it all. It’s rare and hard to deal with.” Magnus explained to you as he gave you a warm drink.

“But we’re here for you. You’re not alone. We’ll go and find Simon and I just know Izzy will like you.” Clary said as she hugged you again. You smiled and let out a shaky sigh. It was good to have Clary with you. Even if it meant what little of your world you had worked so hard to protect had shattered. Clary and Simon were your family now. And they were with you. A tear ran down your cheek as you started into the swirling steam coming off your drink. They were real and with you.

#Clary Fray #clary fray x reader #bonniebird #shadowhunters

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megs-readstoomuch · 4 years ago

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Newest installment in my “Shadowhunters: Parenthood Edition” stories. The rest can be found on AO3 HERE!!!

Happy Birthday Reesa!

Jace woke up earlier than usual. He stretched and immediately turned his head to check on Clary, as he always did when he awakened. She was still asleep, red hair fanned out on her pillow and the quietest of snores coming from her mouth. Jace grinned. She never believed him when he said she snored, but honestly, he found it adorable, so he didn’t complain that much. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, lingering for a moment to breathe her in. He smiled and gave her one more quick, light kiss.

Jace slid quietly from the bed and went about his morning routine of shaving and dressing. As he sat to put his socks and boots on, he heard her. She was humming the lullaby Jace had played her last night before bed, as he did every night. The song his Mom had sang to him and his siblings when they were young. With a smile, Jace went into the nursery and found his daughter standing in her crib, the morning sun slowly turning the room a warm gold. Reesa’s strawberry blond curls were wild from her night’s sleep and stood out like a cloud around her head. She had a thumb in her mouth and was still humming their song, but broke into a smile when she saw Jace.

“Hi Dada!” She waved her hand excitedly as if they were seeing each other again after a long journey. Jace lifted her from the crib, kissing each cheek. She laughed and patted his face.

“How is my girl?” Jace said as he proceeded to change her sleeper. He picked out one of the bright, colorful rompers Magnus and Clary kept her closet filled with and started dressing her. She wiggled as she waited on him to finish the snaps and buttons. “Guess what Reesa?”

The little girl blinked at him in response, as he tried to tame her curls a little with the tiny hair clips Clary bought. “Today is your first birthday. It is a big day. You’ve been here with Mama and Daddy a whole year. You are one.” He surveyed his work. Dang, he was getting good at this hair thing.

“I’m one.” Reesa said, watching as he proceeded to put her shoes on. He let her fasten the Velcro tabs herself. “All done!” She held her hands out.

“Excellent work.” Jace complimented her, lifting her down off the changing table and stood her on the floor.

“Where Mama?” Reesa asked as Jace careful put her favorite old stele of his in the pocket of her romper.

“Mama is sleeping. It’s just you and me this morning.” Jace answered her. “Shall we have breakfast?” He held out his hand. She slipped a tiny soft hand into his callused, scarred one and Jace felt his heart swell again with joy over having this little girl in his life.

“Mama sleeping.” Reesa said. “Ssssh.” She twisted her face into a comical shush and pressed a finger to her lips. Jace grinned at her.

“Exactly.”

———

There were only a handful of people in the dining hall this early, as it was barely 5 o’clock. Jace liked it this way though. Mostly those present were coming in late off of patrol, bleary eyed and exhausted. But despite that, each one perked up a little at the sight of the toddler in her bright pink romper, with the butterfly clips in her hair. She always waved at everyone as she and Jace moved through to find a table to sit at.

Reesa refused a high chair on the grounds she was “nota baby”, instead kneeling in the chair next to Jace, happily eating her bacon. Jace nursed his cup of coffee and just watched her. He couldn’t believe it had been a year since she arrived. He still remembered it, he had never been so scared and happy. And now look at her. One year old.

He pushed away the ever present worry about her “Angel gifts” as the family called them. She was just one, but she functioned more like a 2yo. She was quick and smart, speaking in small sentences already. She could jump and run faster than your average child, quick with all her reflexes and motor skills too. She was also taller than average. Aside from all this and a predilection for being found constantly leaping off of the top of Jace’s baby grand and landing perfectly every time, she had yet to exhibit any other manifestations of her pure Angel blood inheritance. Jace still wondered if she would have any of Clary’s gifts. Tessa often hinted that there would be more to Reesa than she had shown them so far.

“More please.” A tiny voice cut into Jace’s thoughts. Reesa had finished her bacon and eggs and was looking expectantly at Jace. “More bacon.”

“Alright, but just two more, ok?” Jace answered her, raising up from his chair.

“Okey doke,” she said, picking her orange juice up with both hands. He chuckled.

———

Clary found them in the office after she had woken and had her own breakfast. Jace at his desk and Reesa on his lap, as usual. He was flicking through night patrol reports on his tablet and Reesa was concentrating on drawing runes on a notepad, her tiny tongue stuck out in concentration.

“Hi Mama!” Reesa cried, wiggling off of Jace’s knee to run around the desk and into Clary’s arms.

“Hi, my baby,” Clary kissed her on the cheek and then blew a raspberry against the soft skin. Reesa giggled. “Happy Birthday!”

“I’m one!” Reesa held up one finger proudly.

“Yes, you are! And we are going to have a party for you,” Clary kissed the outstretched index finger.

“A party?” Reesa crinkled her forehead in confusion.

“A party?” Jace made the same face.

Clary smiled at the resemblance. “Uncle Magnus is planning a party for your birthday. With cake!”

The one year old’s eye lit up. “CAKE!” She yelled, wiggling to be put down so she could run around her mother in a happy gallop while continuing to yell about cake.

“It will be at 5 this evening,” Clary told Jace over Reesa’s yells. “I already asked Underhill to cover your patrol so the whole family can be there.” Jace frowned a little. He hated to ask favors of the other Shadowhunters, even if he was the Co-Head of the Institute. Clary walked around the desk and sat on the arm of his chair. “It’s for Reesa’s birthday. Underhill was happy to do it. And you can cover his next patrol to make up for it, he said.”

Jace’s brow smoothed out. “Well, that does seems more fair.” Clary kissed his cheek and then leaned against him as they watched their daughter dance happily around the room.

———

“I think Magnus made the apartment bigger to fit everyone,” Alec whispered to Jace as they walked into the living room from the kitchen.

“You think? Because I don’t remember there being two bathrooms in the hallway,” Jace pointed out. “Or that hatrack. Tell me that’s not anyone we know, by the way.”

“Dang it, you’re right,” Alec agreed, ignoring the query about the hatrack and sipping from his plastic cup. He made a face. “What is this?”

“Something called punch,” Jace eyed his own pink drink warily. He didn’t like pink drinks in general . “Jocelyn insisted it is what mundanes drink at birthday parties.”

“By the Angel, why?” Alec muttered, quickly dumping the rest of the drink in the ficus behind him (that he was pretty sure hadn’t been there this morning).

“No idea,” Jace said, tossing back the last dredges in his cup and swallowing.

“You still drank it?”

Jace raised an eyebrow. “Have you ever known me to reject food or drink?”

“Fair enough,” Alec said.

Clary came over with two bottles in hand. “Here. Have some water. That punch is as gosh-awful as it was when I was kid.” The two men gratefully accepted the drinks.

A crash came from the kids’ room. The parents all turned, waiting for any cries of distress.

“Everything’s fine!”shouted Rafe. Alec raised an eyebrow.

“I think I’ll check anyway,” he shook his head and went down the now extra long hall to his sons’ room where Rafe and Max were “fighting demins”, according to Max.

Clary slid her arms around Jace’s waist and he dropped a kiss on the top of her head. They looked around the room.

Jocelyn, Kadir, and Maryse were chatting in the corner, the every present dried paint visible on the back of Jocelyn’s hand and around her nails as she made a gesture in the air. Maryse nodded to whatever was being said and politely sipped from her cup, making no face but Jace knew his mother enough to see in her eyes what she thought of “punch”. He bit his lip to keep from smiling. Kadir was very focused on Jocelyn’s story, his own hands suspiciously empty.

Luke and Simon bookended the sofa, a 4-month pregnant Isabelle with the start of a baby bump sitting between them. All three were discussing a new weapon the Iron Sisters had sent to the Institute this week. Simon was particularly excited, waving his hands about. Isabelle rubbed her bump and watched him in amusement.

Tess and Jem were sitting on the loveseat, Reesa sitting on Tessa’s lap and talking with them. She was making some of the same gestures with her hands that Jocelyn was making and Tessa nodded encouragingly at her. Mina was sitting in the floor, leaning against her father’s legs with a surprisingly content Chairman Meow on her lap, bedazzling his fur with sparks of magic from her fingers.

Magnus was busily waltzing around the dining room, flashes of magic visible as he finished placing copious amounts of purple, pink, and blue streamers and balloons around a banner that said, “Happy Birthday Baby Biscuit”. Alec had gently pointed out no one else called Reesa that but Magnus had merely kissed him firmly and said, “I make the party rules.” Alec had said nothing more and left him to his decorating.

“You know,” Jace mused. “I never had family around for birthdays until I my 11th. And that wasn’t even my birthday, as we now know. And really by the time you get your first rune, it’s downplayed. Shadowhunters don’t do parties much. Just a cake if everyone is around. But the Institute was always empty. And of course I didn’t have anyone else...before. I got a gift or a wish as you know, but it wasn’t the same as this. I like this. Except maybe the punch.”

“I do too. I like birthdays. I had my first kiss on my 16th birthday, you know,” Clary gave him a saucy grin. Jace shot her a look that made her stomach flip. He leaned down to whisper in her ear.

“You better stop, Mrs. Herondale. I’m not a well-behaved man.” Clary giggled.

“Alright you two, stop it,” Alec rolled his eyes at them, coming down the hall with his son’s following behind him like baby ducks, each carrying a fake weapon of some sort, the two boys in their miniature gear jackets that they played in. Both their cheeks were red from their “battle” but they looked pleased with themselves.

“And the crash?” Clary asked.

“Bookshelf. Magnus will have to sort it,” Alec shook his head. Rafe and Max looked properly contrite, although Clary knew them enough to know they weren’t really. She winked at them.

“Time for cake!” Magnus announced and everyone gathered in the dining room. Reesa was given the seat of honor and a rounding chorus of “Happy Birthday” was sang. She sang along, much to everyone’s amusement.

She carefully blew out her candle, and Max relit it so he could blow it out too. Reesa found this hilarious, so Max and Mina kept relighting it until everyone had blown out the candle and Magnus finally had to remove the stub from the cake before a second round of candle blowing was started.

The cake was, of course, delicious. Magnus hinted strongly that it had came from France.

“I left money in the till,” He hastened to add before anyone said anything. “But our babies have to have the best cake.”

Clary watched as Reesa picked up her plate and licked the frosting off. “I think you chose well,” she said. Jocelyn shook her head in amusement and cleaned the chocolate off of Reesa’s nose and eyebrows.

“Bapak! Present time! Present time!” Max was bouncing in excitement as Rafe carried in the gift.

Magnus placed the brightly wrapped present in front of a wide-eyes Reesa who looked at him expectantly. “Magic?” She asked.

With a smile, Magnus snapped his fingers and the paper and ribbon unfurled to reveal a tiny gear jacket of her own. Reesa squealed. “On! Now!” She demanded.

Clary complied, slipping it over her bright pink romper and zipping it up. Reesa rubbed her hands over the jacket in amazement. Jace squatted next to her chair and adjusted the collar.

“Can you say thank you to everyone?” He prompted her gently.

“Thank you Unca Alec and Unca Magnus,” she whispered, still in awe. “And Nana and Papa and Gran’ma and Kad and Unca Simon and Ant Izzy and Max and Rafe and Jem and Nonna Tessa and Mina.” The adult all smiled as the little girl listed her whole family.

Alec smiled and knelt next to Jace. “Look,” he showed the little girl the pocket for her stele, tucking it in for her.

“You’re ready to fight now, Baby Biscuit,” Magnus said.

Max and Rafe bounced around her. “Yeah, we are all ready now!”

“Me too,” Mina cried, sending golden sparks through the air as she jumped down to dance with the boys.

“Well then, how about you all go train outside,” Magnus directed, snapping his fingers to cover every surface of the spacious balcony with large soft training mats, a low balance beam, and wooden swords. Reesa gave a suspiciously high jump off her chair and landed next to Rafe. He grabbed her hand and the four children ran outside.

———

The grownups sat down to enjoy decent, less sugary food (courtesy of Simon’s sister Rebecca’s restaurant, which Magnus used as often as he could) and watch the kids through the large windows. The punch had mysteriously disappeared (Jace wasn’t going to point fingers, but he suspected his mother had instigated a punch-removal directive to Kadir), so Magnus produced “adult drinks”.

Jace stood next to the window, watching the children play. Reesa was observing Rafe, who was showing Mina how to balance on the balance beam while holding her hand. When they were done, Reesa tried too, but refused assistance. She managed to walk it as easily as if she were on the ground and even did a large jump at the end.

“She’s good.” Jem had come up beside him, his eyes on his daughter who was comparing magic colors with Max. They were shooting little sparks in the air, and Reesa was laughing as they landed on her hair and arms.

“She is,” Jace said, a mix of pride and worry in his voice.

“Having a child with a gift you can’t exactly understand, it’s not easy,” Jem admitted. Jace looked at him, realizing Jem was a former Shadowhunter, with a half shadowhunter-half warlock wife and a child with an odd mix of warlock and shadowhunter blood.

“I don’t care about her gifts so much anymore, I just want her to be happy,” Jace said quietly. “I wasn’t, as a child. I want her to be more than just her gifts.”

“I remember you,” Jem mused. “You were the quietest, most composed, well-trained, and polite 10 year old I had ever met.”

“The ship. The attack by the werewolves on that ship the night I came to live with the Lightwoods.” Jace looked surprised. “I had forgotten, that was the first time we met, wasn’t it? I used your staff. The one with WH carved on it.”

“Yes. Your gifts were very visible that day, I just didn’t see them clearly. I’m sorry you weren’t happy, though.”

“I was later. I found part of my happiness with the Lightwoods. And the rest,” Jace’s eyes searched out Clary, laughing with Tessa and her mother near the fireplace. “The rest with Clary. And now with Reesa.”

“I understand,” Jem replied. And he did. He knew the fulfillment of happiness that came with love. With Will, with Tessa, with Mina and Kit. He saw that same completion in Jace now, what had been missing all those years ago when he had been the solemn and determined child with those golden eyes and that Herondale recklessness that had reminded Jem of Will even then.

The two men watched as Mina and Reesa joined hands to run away from Max and for a moment, it seemed like Reesa’s eyes glimmered and Mina’s fingers sparked a brighter gold and they seemed to be moving faster than they should have been. He blinked and it was gone. Jace’s brow was slightly furrowed , as if he had seen something as well.

“I think...those two may be trouble together,” Jem said.

“A Herondale and a Carstairs? Definitely. I’ve heard the stories from Tessa.” Jace laughed and Jem joined him.

“Oh yes. Will and I.” Jem smiled at the memories. “Will and Tessa’s daughter Lucie, her parabatai was also a Carstairs. Their son’s was a Fairchild.”

“Herondales, Carstairs, Lightwoods, and Fairchilds. Chaos and mayhem since the beginning, is what you’re saying?” Jace queried.

“Yes,” Jem confirmed. The two men stood in silence for a moment, watching the children play.

“Mundanes have gifted children too, you know.” Jem murmured. “But I think it means they are better at things like math and reading.” Jace looked bemused at this. Reesa turned and saw him watching her. She waved. He waved back.

“I can’t wait to see what they do,” Jace said softly. Jem nodded in agreement.

“I think,” Jem paused as Reesa and Mina joined hands again, their black and golden-red heads bent together to listen to Rafe and Max. “I think they’ll change the world.”

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popcrone818 · 5 years ago

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Fate - Alec Lightwood

Let me just say before I start, yes I am aware that Alec is gay! I have read the first book, (getting the rest for my birthday) and I am so in love with Malec it is so not even funny anymore, but at the same time I read fanfiction and fiction in general to escape to put myself in the shoes of the reader. So when I write that is also what I do. I don’t know how to write in a male’s perspective and I’m not about to write a full story about it.

so in short, I am sorry to whoever I offend by posting this story. But I have been Brewing it over in my head since October 2019. So all I can say is I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think. <3

I never knew who my mother was. She left me on the doorstep of the Lightwood’s when I was just a baby. Alexander Lightwood and I grew up together, wreaking havoc on Maryse and Robert since before we could talk. The Lightwood’s were exiled from Idris before my first birthday and with Alec and I in tow Maryse and Robert moved to New York, where they proceeded to have Isabelle, and where they adopted Jace Wayland. The Four of us were never seen without each other as we grew up. Alec became Jace’s Parabatai and Izzy and I were close to it ourselves, we just never got around to doing the ritual while we were growing up.

When Clary joined the institute, Jace and Alec seemed to be in a disagreement constantly. I started to worry for my family, I wasn’t sure how parabatai’s actually worked but I was almost sure that Jace and Alec’s might start to disappear if they kept at it.

I had followed Clary, Jace and Izzy to help free Meliorn from Lydia. We were surprised to say the least when Alec was the one leading Meliorn to the silent brothers. Clary, Jace and I snuck up behind Alec and Meliorn.

“Alec.” Clary yelled jogging ahead and gaining his attention. Jace stepped in between Alec and Meliorn and the entrance to the City of Bones. I stayed back out of the way. I noticed Alec’s eyes shift for a spilt second to me before turning his attention back to Jace and Clary like I wasn’t even there.

“You told me you were taking Clary back to the Institute. You lied to me.” He growled his hands closing into fists.

“I did what needed to be done.” Jace fired back as Clary walked up to Meliorn and I took a couple of steps forward, in case I was needed to break up a parabatai fight.

“Alec, the Clave has gone too far. You have to see that. Please, just let Meliorn go.” I said calmly to him. His eyes flicked to me yet again before he looked down, not making eye contact.

“I have my orders.” His hand twitched slightly, getting ready for a fight. I saw Clary flare up.

“You and your damn orders. Who cares about orders?” Clary shouted at him. I squeezed my eyes shut, she has no idea about this world. I opened my eyes as Alec took a step closer to Clary.

“See?” he almost laughed while he gestured to Clary. “That’s how little you know about being a Shadowhunter. You couldn’t possibly understand–.”

“It’s you that doesn’t understand, Alec. Not this time.” Jace started as Alec started to move closer to the entrance. “I’m really sorry.” Jace’s head motions for me to go. I jump on Alec’s back, easier than I expected honestly, still not as easy as you might think.

“Clary, Meliorn, go, now!” Jace yells, Clary and Meliorn make a run for it as Alec flips me off his back and kneels gently on my chest. Jace knocks Alec off me and quickly jump up into a fighting stance.

“You always broke the rules, but never the law, not until she showed up.” Alec accused.

“You’ve had it out for Clary from the start. And now you’re getting married, Alec? We both know what this is about.” Jace yelled, I stood back and watched boys fight it out.

“Oh, do we? Okay. Why doesn’t the legend, Jace Wayland, tell us what’s it about?” Alec counters pushing Jace up against the cave wall.

“It’s about Mia! It’s about your feelings. It’s because you’re–.” Jace yells at him as my jaw goes slack looking at the two of them. Alec has pulled out his blade and now has Jace on the ground with it placed against his neck. “Do it. Do it! I don’t wanna be alive if we’re on different sides, Alec.” I watch as Alec gets off Jace.

“Come with us. We’ll fight Valentine the right way: together.” I told Alec stepping closer to him as Jace gets to his feet.

“If we do that, we’ll be considered traitors like Mom and Dad.” Alec said, I knew he was worried about what they had done as circle members, but I didn’t think it was this bad. This must be why he is getting married.

“I’m begging you, my parabatai, my brother. Please, Alec, come with us.” Jace pleaded with him as he and I both stepped forward again. Alec slid down the wall of the cave shaking his head.

“No.” with that one word I felt my heart break. I made sure Alec could see it as Jace and I walked away, he pulled me into his side as a tear rolled down my cheek.

We met back up with Meliorn and Clary outside of the Hotel Dumort. Izzy was locked in a passionate kiss with Meliorn before Jace clears his throat to break them up.

“I hate to break up this reunion, Izzy, but we have to go.” Jace reminded her of the rest of the mission; get Meliorn back to the Seelie realm.

“You’re in good hands.” Izzy says to Meliorn before turning to Clary, Jace and I. “I need to get back to the Institute, see what hell has broken loose. Try and talk some sense into Alec.” She gives me a sad look before she places a hand on my arm gently. “Take care of him.”

“We will.” Clary and I saw in unison.

“Kick Alec’s ass for me.” I told her. She and Meliorn share another kiss before she pulls away and walks her way to the institute.

Isabelle told me it was your idea to rally the Downworlders. That you spearheaded my rescue.” Meliorn said to Clary, “She also told me that you would have to go up against Alec, someone you love,” he turned his attention to me. I felt my cheeks blush before the memory of Alec saying ‘no’ to Jace and I resurfaced and all I did was nod my head towards Meliorn.

“Don’t give me too much credit. Isabelle made this happen. We just helped.” Clary stated as we started walking.

“She’s being modest. You’re a Shadowhunter now.” Jace said.

“I have been surprised by more than one Shadowhunter tonight. You risked everything to unite us.” Meliorn thanked Clary once again.

“Right after you tried to sell her out.” Jace reminded Meliorn. I looked away as we continued to walk towards a park I had never seen before.

“Not my finest moment. Which is why I’m offering you both a gift, for your sacrifice. If you’re ready, I can help you find your father.” Meliorn said addressing both Clary and I. I looked behind me to Jace, giving him a questioning look. I didn’t know who my father was.

Clary and I stepped through the portal to the alternate dimension, where she and I were standing in a kitchen together. She turns around and grasps a butter knife holding it up in front of her.

“Where’s my mother?!” she shouts accusingly.

“Whoa. Is this from one of your cosplay skits?” I heard Valentine ask as I turn around. “Uh, honey? Come in here. You gotta see this.” He turns to call into the living room. “No, seriously, you have to let me come with you, just once, okay? I wanna see what you do at these things, all right?” he turns to face the two of us again. Jocelyn enters the kitchen and takes in the scene in front of her, Clary slightly in front of me holding up a knife.

“Val, you’re not allowed to do cosplay. You’d stick out like a sore thumb.” Jocelyn says coming up to Valentine. At the sight of her mother Clary drops the knife and moves over to her.

“Mom.” She pulls her in for a tight hug. I just stand there unsure of what to do.

“Wow. Wow, if you miss us this much, you should really leave the dorm room more often.” Jocelyn jokes as Clary pulls away.

“Right. Sorry.” Clary moves back over to me.

“Oh Amelia, honey, your mum said she wouldn’t be able to see you for breakfast this morning, so you’ve got us instead.” Jocelyn says to me before she moves to sit down at the kitchen table. I notice one of the sketches is signed by Jocelyn Morgenstern. I nudge Clary discreetly who then looks at the painting also. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket as Clary sits down hesitantly.

“Clary…” Jocelyn holds up a cup of tea in a toast as I sit down opposite Clary at the table pulling out my phone. “In honour of your father’s Mad Hatter party tonight.” She takes a sip and I look at the message that lit up my screen.

From: Alec

Can’t wait to see you today, looking forward to that coffee :)

“Your mom made waffles for you. Come on, kiddo, you gotta eat something, right. So, Clarissa… when do I get to meet this new man in your life, hmm?” Valentine asks as he also sits down. It felt like I was intruding on family bonding time and I wasn’t even sure why I was here in the first place anyway. Valentine wasn’t my father.

“Val.” Jocelyn chastised

“What? I have to give my stamp of approval, right? For both of you by the way, you may not be blood related but we still think of you as our daughter Amelia.” Valentine said looking towards me. So that’s why I'm here. I'm basically family.

“Oh, Clary, look at this commercial, it’s hilarious. It’s so bad, it’s good.” Jocelyn states and we all swivel on our chairs to look towards the tv sitting in the dining room. I see Magnus, Hodge and Luke on the tv in the commercial, apparently in this dimension Magnus is a psychic, I guess a warlock never changes his mark. I notice Clary starts to space out slightly and I drop my fork to bring her back. She gasps before standing up abruptly.

“I have to go.” She says as she gathers up her things.

“Uh, so do I, thank you for breakfast.” I say politely as I grab my phone and stand up too.

“What?” Jocelyn asks Clary and I.

“I thought you were spending the morning with us.” Valentine asks looking up at the two of us also.

“I, uh, have a last-minute assignment due that I haven’t even started yet, so I gotta go.” Clary states before rushing out of the door.

“I uh, have a date.” I say before following Clary out.

#alec lightwood imagines #Alec Lightwood #the mortal instruments #clary fairchild #jace herondale #isabelle lightwood #alec lightwood x reader #shadowhunters

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tortured-swiftie · 4 years ago

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@revouries sorry it took so long but here is my full list of song recs! Ps - it is loooooong

So I’m still very surprised anyone is even interested in this but its a really cool thing to share! This playlist has taken me close to a decade to create and I’ve been asked to share it with you all! Fair warning - heavy spoilers, and a lot is based on ship angst, don’t come for me. Also I have only read TDA twice and its been maybe a year since I did so I don’t remember everything perfectly. I had a lot more time with TMI because I read them for years and years. TID & TLH don’t really have soundtracks for me, because of the time period these modern songs really feel wrong when I read those series.

TMI :

Battle in Hotel Dumort in CoB -

- I’m So Sorry - Imagine Dragons

The pace of this song, the sinister notes, the danger it invokes just brings this scene alive. But also, this is the first time Clary feels like a Shadowhunter. She fights and its not terrible. She feels powerful instead of like a liability. Shes able to hold her own while talking to a clan of vampires. Its badass and fits the song.

Seelie Court kiss scene in CoA -

- The Violet Hour - The Civil Wars

Its such a beautifully haunting song, its sweet on the one hand but something wrong lies underneath it. It is so so perfect, because Clace is getting what they’ve wanted, but by hurting those around them. They get to give in for once, without the guilt attached, they have someone to blame for all this. But it ends on this very uneasy note, because it isnt right. So much of it is not right and Clace are not satisfied because it wasn’t a real kiss or real declaration of love

Jace and Clary after the meeting with the Seelie Queen in the Institute in CoA -

- Black Flies - Ben Howard

This is a very Jace song for me. Its quiet, peaceful, but the words are hurtful and honest. “No man is an island” fits him so perfectly at this time in his life where he feels abandoned by Valentine, abandoned by Mayrse, abandoned by literally everyone so he wants to make it worse by committing to Clary. She is so unsure of him because of the repercussions it would cause and he wants her in this moment because of the repercussions. He wants to isolate himself so he cant be hurt by those he loves.

Jace meets Valentine on the boat CoA -

- Silence Worth Breaking - Brooke Annibale

This is where Valentine really shows off how manipulative he is, and as a reader you start to believe how easy it would be to get around to his way of thinking. imo this is the best villain CC has written, because you find yourself agreeing with him sometimes and he makes it difficult to argue from a different perspective. The first time I read this scene I was convinced he was going to go with Valentine. The song is foreboding, it is anxious, and makes you think something bad is around the corner, which at this point in the book you feel like something bad is bound to happen

Simon is about to die on the back of Luke’s truck end of CoA-

- Wait - M83

This just perfectly conveys the grief and fear and guilt Clary feels when she thinks Simon is about to die. She brought him into this life, he turned into a vampire because of her, he was tortured by Valentine because of her and just as they saved him he is going to die. Its the loss of innocence and childhood for Clary. Simon is the last piece of it stripped away from her. First her mum, then her belief system in her whole world, then Luke, and now Simon. She is stripped all the way down to the bone of her identity and this scene is quick, but intense for this reason for me.

Clary and Jace meet up for lunch at the end of CoA -

- Distance - Christina Perri

This is such a sad song, and the sweetness of Christina Perri’s voice pairs beautifully in this scene with a feeling of a bittersweet kind of resigned acceptance. Clary had wanted so bad for Jace to let her go, she had convinced herself that her feelings weren’t that strong. And now here she is accepting her true feelings and ready to kind of wrap Jace around herself like a security blanket and he tells her exactly what she wanted to hear earlier. Except now she has to be a big girl and face her life without anyone holding her hand. She has to grow up and thats what makes this scene so sad, this is Clary realising its time to grow up.

Clary and Jace find Ithuriel in CoG -

- Goodbye Godric - Nathan Barr

This song was always ethereal and otherworldly, the notes are awe inspiring and convey this grief that is so abstract and not individualistic, it is beyond the human experience. Clary and Jace’s complete altruism and empathy in this scene matches with the grieving tones, how helpless they feel at this beautiful creatures pain, and how much they want to do something but they don’t know what. Then Ithuriel shows them visions and its even worse than they imagined. The misery that exists in these walls caused by Valentine, the waste of energy and life and soul is amplified by the music. The music soars as Ithuriel is set free, and the manor home crumbles.

Clary and Jace make out session outside the newly ruined Wayland Manor CoG -

- Maybe Tomorrow - Stereophonics

This wild abandon kissing perfectly matches the mood and pace of this song. Its all over the place, its messy, its confusing. Its giving into pure passion. Its abandoning any pretences they have built up and watching reality crash back down on them.

Isabelle wants Simon to distract her after Max dies in CoG -

- Not Everything Was Better In The Past - Fink

This is such a tenderly played song, and is easy on the ears, but there is a rawness there. Isabelle is completely stripped away, raw grief and anger and guilt eating away at her. When she lets Simon in she is ferocious and wants to show him her toughness. But Simon sees through it all to a scared young girl who is lost in this sea of grief. Its a sweet Sizzy moment

Jace telling Clary he loves her for the first time in CoG -

- Leave a Light On (ACOUSTIC) - Tom Walker

Jace shouldering the responsibility of finding Valentine by himself, essentially sacrificing himself to the cause, hes grief stricken, and yet feels barred from that grief. I know we experienced this scene from Clary’s POV but this song works so well from his POV. He wants to tell the girl he loves how he feels, he wants one night with her to feel normal and feel loved, and to pretend just for a little while that there is nothing wrong with that. This very stripped version of the song is much much much more raw, and that’s what Jace feels like in this scene, all the walls are down and he wants to show his real face to this one girl

Clary showing off her rune skills in the council chamber in CoG -

- I Found - Amber Run

This was the first scene I imagined from a filmmaking perspective, how to best present this scene. I imagined this entire scene from Jocelyn’s POV, frame by frame, as she walks into the council room very quietly and watches her baby walk up and address everyone in desperation, voice shaking but standing her ground. Grown, bigoted, adults judging her and are fearful but she is still showing them what she’s worth. I imagined Jocelyn’s entire world view shifting because she is in awe of this powerful girl Clary has become. She watches her daughter no longer as a little girl but as a formidable Shadowhunter that could handle the cards she had been dealt in life. Just a very transformative moment and pivotal in how we see Clary in the TSC universe

Lilith takes over Jace’s mind and disappears with Sebastian at the end of CoFA-

- I’ll Keep Coming - Low Roar

This song starts out so uneasy, it cant settle down, and that’s exactly how I feel when Jace sends Clary downstairs. I want to scream at her to stay, but knowing Lilith would always take over no matter what. Its a very dark moment, because no one wants to lose control of themselves and it must have been pretty scary at first. Its an anxious scene, paired with an anxious song

Magnus takes happy memories away in CoLS -

- Howl - Jake Houlsby

Magnus is looking very sad when he does this, especially what he says to Simon. Its such a knowing look, Magnus is no stranger to this kind of sorrow, but still to be witness to it over and over must take its toll. It just makes me think of the endless road stretching out ahead of him and how lonely and terrifying that must feel for him. Just a beautiful song to go with a sad moment in this scene

Clary at the Faerie club with Jace and Sebastian CoLS -

- Faded - Alan Walker

- Darkside - Alan Walker

At this point in the story you feel a lot like Clary is getting too comfortable and is maybe losing sight of the mission she’s on. These two songs are very club sounding to me, and tonally fits the mood of the chapter. Clary is quite literally lost in that moment with the Faerie drugs and the dancing and the atmosphere

Clary dancing with Sebastian CoLS -

- Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood

First of all lyrically….it cannot get more perfect. “Go ahead and cry little girl nobody does it like you do, I know that you got daddy issues. And if you were my little girl, Id do whatever I could do…” it just conveys the creepiness of Sebastians interactions with Clary and how weird she felt when he was dancing with her and how wrong it felt. This is a very short moment in this chapter but it really creeped me out. And this song conveys perfectly this feeling of haziness of the Faerie drugs and this uneasiness that surrounds Sebastian

Simon drinks from Isabelle CoLS -

- Harvest Love - Tash Sultana

This is a pretty soulful, sensual song. And when Simon drinks from Isabelle and he describes the euphoria that comes with that, the description of how his nerves react to the fresh blood just remind me of the part in this song where the drums and music soars the highest (start around 3:32, and it reaches its peak around 4:48) its honestly one of the sexiest scenes CC has written, even including all the Jemma scenes

Magnus and Alec break up in CoLS -

- Evergreen - Ben Howard

First time reading this I was so so angry at Alec, and felt the sorrow and anger coming off Magnus. This song is very dark, and very sinister. Magnus completely misunderstood what Alec was trying to do, and applied the most sinister meaning to his actions. It is their perfect breakup song imo full of angst

Clary traps the Heavenly Fire into her sword in CoHF -

- Outro - M83

This is another scene I imagined cinematically. The first half of the song is where Clary slowly makes her way over to Jace and she suddenly has faith in herself that she can do this. Then we watch her take Jace’s hands as the radioactive wind sounds start and the flames are swirling around them but not touching them. Cut to Magnus and Luke seeing the colour on the horizon, and the flash that shows its over. Cut back to Clary drawing the Heavenly Fire into the sword as the music swells around her. The words are so so powerful, and they always felt very ethereal to me “I’m the King of my own land” This is Clary fully embracing her power and fully utilising it. Its no longer something separate from her, but she IS her power.

Clary killing Sebastian, pretty much a lot of the scenes before the time jump CoHF-

- Saturn (both acoustic and original version) - Sleeping At Last

This song is definitely an end of film/book / end of heroes journey material. Simon sacrificing himself so they can get back, Clary killing Sebastian and forgiving him, Clary scattering the ashes of Sebastian and finally grieving the past years trauma (all of the TMI journey), the Faeries being condemned by the Clave and Helen getting exiled. Its beautiful, its sad, its momentous, its not a regular song.

Alec finds Magnus in Edom in CoHF -

- I Of The Storm - Of Monsters and Men

The steady drum beat adds a sense of steadiness and calmness in this song. Its not a joyful getting back together but they’re both glad the other is alive and are both forgiving each other. For me, this is when I truly started shipping Malec. The growth, the strength of character begins from this moment. This is when they become a couple I love because this is when they commit to each other flaws and all

Isabelle introduces herself to Simon at the end of CoHF -

- Golden Dandelions - Barns Courtney

Isabelle has always felt like a full punch character, no half measures and all that. The feeling Simon describes when he first spots this beautiful girl walking directly up to him is how this song starts, for me at least. The drums, the barely contained excitement, the curiosity, and faint recognition. This song is a full punch song right from the get go and it felt like such a remarkable Isabelle moment

After Jocelyn & Luke’s wedding in COHF -

- From Gold - Novo Amor

It is such a bittersweet, and peaceful song. There are so many endings in this scene, and so many new beginnings. They are all grieving, one way or another, and are all allowing themselves to evolve. Their journey is over, and at the end of this book I had this sense of saying goodbye to these characters (retiring them so to speak) because I wasn’t sure how much they would be involved with the future of the TSC world. Im glad they are still a big part of it, but they will never be the main focus again.

TDA:

Julian and Emma dance in LM -

- Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran

The sexual tension, and the dread they both feel because of their feelings just makes this scene so dramatic to me, and this song softens it a little. Especially if you are re-reading the series you feel this tenderness because they so badly wanted to avoid falling in love

Mark and Kieran in the Hunt -

- Dance Me To The End of Love - The Civil Wars

This is a pretty offbeat quirky song, a little sad, a little wistful, a little mournful, sensual, but tones of wildly abandoning all you know and giving into baser desires. Whenever Mark thinks of his time with Kieran in the Hunt, his memories sound like this song. They experienced very high highs, and very low lows. They were degraded, the lowest you could possibly feel as a living creature. Yet they were riding into the night, sleeping under the stars in places only known to Faeries. There was no one watching them, and no one to stop them from being together. There is tenderness in their relationship, but also knowledge that they are only together because they have no one else. Its happiness without truly feeling like you have a choice about it. You have to be happy together because you cant find this happiness elsewhere. They are forced into being in love a little bit, because the alternative is so much worse. This is one of the reasons why I couldn’t ship them at first, because they hadnt really chosen each other. Only when they were presented with other options and they till chose each other did I start seeing their potential.

Julian and Emma on the beach LM -

- Next To You - Of Rust & Bone

This scene completely took me by surprise, and is very unlike CC because love scenes normally take place quite late into any series she has. This one was filled with anxiety, and tension because the characters quite literally fell into their feelings. There was no forethought, no sense of taking stock of what they were doing. And they ended up feeling such different things about it afterwards. So for me this songs darker moods perfectly pairs with this scene

Kieran and Mark argue/break up LM & LoS -

- Fade Away - Tom Walker

This song has such raw power, such dark emotion and anger and a sense of betrayal that it perfectly captures their emotionally charged scenes. Mark can never be the same Mark that belonged to Kieran when he had no one, because now he has his family. And Kieran is still the same man who has no one but Mark. I hated him the first time I read LM and most of LoS but their chemistry is hard to resist. Especially as they evolve as characters as well as a couple. They are wild and unmoored sometimes and there’s something exciting about characters you just cant pin down.

Emma & Jules’ strained relationship LM & LoS -

- 9 Crimes - Damian Rice

When Emma is “with” Mark there is this strange chemistry between her and Julian. Both have hurt each other at different times, but this was really like a stalemate. Neither could really move on, and both were angry at eachother. As more and more people found out/realised about the feelings they had were more than parabatai this tension grew. Because they’re not just falling in love, they are also actively choosing to hurt one another. They are certainly not an example of a healthy relationship but I felt in some way they were the realest. Because sometimes relationships hurt and sometimes you do things you have to do even if that isnt what’s best for your relationship. This song perfectly captures this push and pull they have, and how falling in love wasn’t blissful happiness for them. It was pain and secrets and hurting.

Annabel rising, killing Malcolm LoS -

- As It Was - Hozier

Since we’re watching this scene from above, a very unnatural and cinematic perspective, the scene feels unreal. Like it was a dream and didn’t happen. I felt genuine fear and uneasiness when Annabel is slowly brought back to life, skin growing over old bones. This song has notes that aren’t usually arranged together, instruments that are usually a bigger part of a quartet, and somehow that arrangement feels just a little wrong. It feels different, sinister, and uneasy. It feels like its missing several instruments, or some notes have been played incorrectly. Hozier’s voice is his best in this song, very strained, but so controlled, bringing forth very intense emotions

Christina and Mark at the revel LoS (I couldn’t remember if this was in LoS or QOAAD) -

- Now You’re Gone - Tom Walker & Zara Larsson

Christina really let herself go during this scene, and we see a completely different side to her. She is adventurous, risky, and she would make anyone say “fuck it lets do this” I always liked Christina but I always felt she was very predictable until this point. We see how intensely she is interested in Faeries, and how personally invested she is in their culture. She allows herself to be swept up, and embraces it rather than fears it. She honestly seems fearless here, and is the definition of temptation. She is quite literally tempting Mark, and its sexy a f

Jules & Emma burn down the church LoS -

- Esmeralda - Ben Howard

This was the first time their relationship excited me, because during this scene I fully expected they would go into full thirst mode but they didn’t. They were still very sensual and sexual and intense, but in a very very different way. There is something attractive about someone who’s willing to burn the world down, who has a little bit of an anarchist side. Its human nature to feel some attraction to these traits, and this scene definitely stirred feelings in me

Emma fights Fal LoS -

- Put It On Me - Matt Maeson

This song both tonally and in its pacing elevates this scene to new levels. Its not a typical battle song, it has a steady pace. But Emma’s description of how the battle is stripped down because of the rain, how she prefers this kind of fight where its her, her weapon and the elements. Its pure, and we get to see Emma in full fighter mode. She is an extension of Cortana, and they belong together. This is without a doubt my favourite fight scene to date. It just brings alive the visuals in such a dynamic way. Very storyboard-able.

Julian holding Livvy as she dies LoS -

- Losing Your Memory - Ryan Star

This song is harrowing, and its just pure pain, raw grief balled into one intense song. The lyrics just pull you into Julian’s mental state “wake up, its time, little girl, wake up” just kills me. As the music intensifies and the singer is practically screaming the lyrics it just feels like that’s what it must have been like inside of Julian’s mind. He wasn’t screaming out loud but his mind must have been very loud

Julian and Emma shower together QOAAD -

- Promise - Ben Howard

Julian dry heaving because he doesnt know how to cry. Fucking heartbreaking in a very quiet way. After the noise of loss, the quiet moments where you have to face grief is devastating. Emma being an anchor, holding him in place and trying to keep the world away from him so he doesnt hurt anymore is just harrowing. They’re just kids but the grief they feel is so adult. And when you lose someone like that, and someone is there for you that solidifies so much in that relationship. They become a part of something you can never let go of. Even if that relationship doesnt last, they will always be apart of that memory. And Emma sticking by him, despite the danger and promises they have made themselves is proof that she is the one for him

Kieran and Christina dance QOAAD -

- Senorita - Shawn Mendes & Camilla Cabello

This song is sensual, its sexual, its got hooks that quite literally sound like orgasms its such a playful song. When I read this scene this song popped in my head right away. When Christina is dancing with Mark its the same kind of feeling I got from her at the revel, except this time there is no supernatural influence, its just her and her feelings. It was a sexy scene, and when Kieran walks in we all expected something very different. What followed is what elevates this scene, Christina has no clue how to react to Kieran, and yet she is mesmerised by him. She dances with him in a way we would never have imagined her doing this in LM. It shows evolution of character, for all three of them. And the fact that Mark is watching, and he’s not angry just makes this scene even sexier. You can practically feel the sexual tension in the air coming off the pages of the book.

Malec wedding QOAAD -

- That Girl Is You - Dave Matthews Band

This song brings me so much peace, the kind of peace that comes with knowing someone for years, and relying on them, knowing they are a permanent fixture in your life. Its exciting, but in a quiet way. Its a very atypical wedding song, because of the unusual style of singing. But I think it represents Malec really well at this point in their journey, they have gotten over many obstacles, often themselves, in this relationship. Their entire world is changing, and they are taking massive steps and making some pretty big sacrifices as people for this cause. Being Consul isnt going to be a smooth life for Alec with Magnus as a husband and a warlock for a child. But this is what he wants, and this is what he wants Shadowhunters to reflect and be going forward. This song is a very peaceful time in the entirety of TSC, and gave me a similar feeling to the end of TMI

#tsc #song recs #tmi #the mortal instruments #tda #the dark artifices #cc #cassie clare #cassandra clare #the shadowhunter chronicles

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purplebass · 4 years ago

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@jedilicious Hi! Sorry if I’m tagging you, but I’ve just read your post and I wanted to corroborate on parts of your theory. LOL.

About James and Matthew and Cordelia triangle, I also see that Math is the Will of this triangle while James is the Jem of this triangle. James is also very similar to Tessa in some ways.

Anyway, I agree that the family tree could be wrong, but don’t forget that despite the Herondales have blue eyes as a dominant trait (in fact even Anna, Christopher and Max have blue eyes, even though Kit has lavender eyes, but it still is a shade close to blue), Cordelia has black eyes, which, in my opinion, could be a dominant trait in some unions, but only if she carries a dominant trait, I think. If Jordelia does end up together, it would be harder for their son to inherit James’ eyes, because that’s not dominant. And about Marcus, Stephen and Jace - their traits could come from “far”, since Edmund had blonde hair and blue eyes. These things tend to happen. I know people with red hair that inherited this trait from their great-grand parents. Maybe Owen (if he is the only child they will have) may have black hair (dominant) and blue eyes or black eyes too. And the woman the tree says he’ll marry may have other traits that will help the following generations of Herondales to be blonde, same goes for Marcus: Imogen Whitelaw (Jace’s grandmother) has blonde hair.

EDIT: To further add to the genetics argument, let me tell you about my personal experience. My grandfather had blue eyes while my grandma black eyes. Their first son has black eyes, while their second green eyes. They had 8 children and my father was the 7th. Ironically, he is THE only one out of the 8 of them who inherited my grandpa’s sapphire blue eyes (in fact he is the only son IDENTICAL to my grandpa, I’m not kidding). Which means that even if my grandpa had blue eyes, it probably wasn’t a dominant trait in fact my aunts and uncles have 50/50 of green eyes and black eyes. My mother had black eyes as well. In a combination of black eyes + blue eyes, you would expect that I would have a 50/50 chance of having either color, but nope. Even more ironically, my maternal grandmother also had sapphire blue eyes whereas my maternal grandpa black eyes (they also had 50/50 daughters with green eyes and brown eyes). I have pale green/grayish eyes with some small yellow and brown specs in them, and I have absolutely no idea where they came from (PIC). I only had blue eyes until I was 5-6, then my eye color settled to the one I have now. Even my hair were blonde, now they are chestnut brown. Two or three of my aunts from both sides have similar green eyes, but not the exact shade. My sister also has greenish/blue eyes, but it isn’t the same shade. This to prove that the results of eyes is not always predictable. Even if the parents have different traits. For the Herondales, even Lucie doesn’t have Will or Tessa’s eyes but a sort of cross color between their eyes.

But yes, technically we could be all wrong about Jordelia ending together like the tree says, and Cordelia ends up with Matthew. If this is the case, it would explain how red hair were inherited by that line of Fairchilds, since Cordelia herself has red hair. Clary and Jocelyn both have Matthew’s eye color, or close to it, after all. But I don’t know, even if I’m not opposed to the idea of Matthew and Cordelia together, I think that in this triangle he is going to suffer. Or maybe, like it often happens with CC, in CoI everyone will discover James and Cordelia’s marriage is blanc and they will break it. Perhaps Cordelia could get closer to Math and see him a new light, but eventually go back to James. I don’t know, because I can’t see any interest from Cordelia’s part (yet). And until the engagement is on, I guess Jordelia may try to be faithful to each other, especially her, since she is loyal... but then again we don’t know.

I could see Mardelia happen in the last book after Jordelia’s engagement is off (if it will be ever off) and James finally realizes that he is in love with her and not with Grace. Or with Matthew professing his love for Cordelia to her and proposing her to marry him to fix the engagement mess they created. If you think about it, it also mirrors the plot of Clockwork Prince, with Will finally declaring his feelings to Tessa but Tessa telling Will she is engaged to Jem (here James would be like Will, while in CoG he is like Jem, proposing to the girl first, while Math would be like Jem here). Even though we could also argue that when Graces asks James to run away, that was also a sort of an indirect marriage proposal to him. Or who knows, Jordelia does really get married! It is hard to tell, but considering the situation and the fact that they intend to marry but they don’t want to really marry (well, if James loved Cordelia back, she would gladly marry him), it is possible that in the end they don’t and they have to face the consequences of their lie.

About James dying, I don’t think so. In the epilogue of Clockwork Princess, it says that both James and Lucie were there when Will died, which means they don’t die in TLH, or this should assure us of this. I don’t think CC will contradict herself, lol. From the epilogue of CP:

Their oldest child, James, had spoken laughingly about Will’s unrelenting fear of ducks and his continual battle to keep them out of the pond at the family home in Yorkshire.

What you quoted about Tessa’s hardships with her children I think it has to do with the fact that supposedly, after Will’s death Tessa decided to run away and not see James and Lucie anymore, since she wouldn’t bear seeing them die as well. Still from the epilogue of CP:

It never had stopped hurting, remembering when Will had died. After he was gone, Tessa had fled. Her children were grown, had children of their own; she told herself they did not need her and hid in the back of her mind the thought that haunted her: She could not bear to remain and watch them grow older than she was. It had been one thing to survive the death of her husband. To survive the death of her children—she could not sit by and watch it. It would happen, must happen, but she would not be there.

Last but not last... is is still possible that in the end James marries Grace and not Cordelia, but I don’t think so. Grace is a semi-villain in certain ways, and besides this, the “love” or better, the infatuation between James and her, was clearly produced by the bracelet, which means he doesn’t really loves her (in fact all of the juicy stuff with Cordelia and the whispering room happened when James didn’t have the bracelet on). And I’m 99% convinced that the concept of James and Cordelia is fire and shadows or better, hot/cold, fire/ice... and the list goes on. It is clear that Cordelia is the fire that lights James’ alight, and she seems like a sort of soulmate to him, someone who could help him destroy their enemies - a pairing that is stronger only if together. I think Tatiana or Belial at the end of CoG said that Cordelia was protecting James. Surely they have a tight bond.

Besides this, I guess from a critical point of view it wouldn’t be a great plot if James went to marry a girl who not only probably enchanted him (as I’m also sure Grace might have fairy blood) but who also wanted him to leave everything behind to go to Gretna Green? Nope, it wouldn’t be interesting. And in these kind of stories it’s usual (but of course, there may be exceptions) that the first girl or boy a character likes, is usually the one he/she won’t get together with because they understand along the way how they idolized that boy/girl.

Plus, it wouldn’t have that angst and bitterness, passion, etc. that I would expect from a CC couple. CC couples are interesting because they have conflict, they are real. James and Grace look like they couldn’t be more different and the fact that, like I mentioned above, Grace wanted him to leave everything to get married with her - everything James loved to death - is a big red flag. James, run! lol. I don’t think CC would have one of the main characters of the series get married with a character like Grace. It would be anticlimactic. Unless Grace changes, which I don’t see happening.

James is with Grace like Matthew at the moment is with Cordelia and how Cordelia is with James at the moment (sorry for the wordplay): their love is unrequited. Or maybe not yet shaped like a great love. Grace and James’ “love” is obsession, silly love. Cordelia’s love for James may be a silly love as well until he loves her properly (and we know he’s capable of doing so, he showed it when he didn’t have the bracelet on. Jordelia are on fire, basically). Matthew’s love for Cordelia could be silly too, because it’s in the beginning phase (so when it can still change).

Anyway, I talk too much. lol.

#chain of gold #the last hours #james herondale #matthew fairchild #cordelia #jordelia #James and Cordelia #matthew and cordelia #grace blackthorn #james and grace #the infernal devices #my edits #Cordelia Carstairs

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visander · 4 years ago

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Together | ao3.

This is my @shadowhunterbingo submission for my slot ‘reverse verse’ and it was also completely inspired by the Five Years of Shadowhunters rewatch that the @malecdiscordserver is putting on.

When Valentine decided to take his children and leave, he'd done so because he knew that Jocelyn was far beyond saving. What he hadn't intended was falling in love with his ex-parabatai turned werewolf but raising two kids together, maybe they both needed something to rely on.

Leaving wasn’t an easy choice, nor one that Valentine and Luke took lightly. Luke at least had already been separated from his life as a shadowhunter and everything that he’d ever known along with that. For Valentine, it was harder. He was still a shadowhunter, one held in high regard. He hadn’t been bitten and turned like Luke. For him to leave shadowhunter society would be a choice, one that inevitably came to pass.

Realizing just how bad Jocelyn was happened quickly. They’d all, or at least those of them that were starting to see through Jocelyn’s words to the truth, had started to suspect that things weren’t quite right for a while but it was Jonathan that made Valentine realize just how insane she’d really become. Until then, her endeavors had seemed like honest ones, maybe a little misguided at times but honestly fueled by a desire to protect the shadowhunter race.

After he realized what she’d done to his only son, there was no way he could excuse how far she’d fallen. He was horrified and confronting her had only made it worse. Hearing her insist she was making their son stronger, that it’s what they needed to do to protect themselves from the downworlders and all their advantages…

Valentine knew then that there was no fixing it. There was no getting through to her and with Clary just a newborn… Valentine knew that he had to get her out, before Jocelyn started making her ‘stronger’ just like she’d done to her brother.

This was all after Jocelyn had told Luke he should kill himself rather than live as a vile werewolf. That stance wasn’t surprising though. Any one of them would have probably thought that dying would be favorable but actually living it, having it happen to someone you loved… It changed things.

Or, it did for those who were still capable of change. It changed things for Valentine because when he spoke to Luke after he’d been turned, his voice still sounded the same. His smile was still the same. It didn’t seem like anything fundamental about him had changed at all. He was still the same person Valentine had trained with. He was still the same person who had cradled his son and his daughter the days they’d been born. How could Valentine find it in him to hate him, just because he’d been attacked? And more importantly, how could Jocelyn so easily?

Luke was the one that convinced him to leave and it didn’t take much convincing at all. They had a plan in place in a matter of a week. Valentine was going to take his children and he was going to leave. Luke and him were going to figure it all out after that. Luke promised that he had a mundane apartment they could move into - though how he possibly figured out how to do that, Valentine wasn’t sure. The entire mundane world was so confusing to Valentine but Luke said they’d figure it out and so, Valentine had to believe that they would.

He left with Clary only a week old, bundled against his chest and Jonathan, just about to turn two, held tight in his arms. Valentine hadn’t been sure if he should take Jonathan, though he was ashamed of that fact later. No one knew how what Jocelyn had done to him would affect him as he got older but Valentine knew that leaving his child behind to continue to be experimented on by her was not an option.

He could do things no one else could. Valentine relieved that moment seeing his eyes turn black in his nightmares but he was still a child. He was still Valentine’s child and he was still two years old, learning how to run for the first time, learning how to string little sentences together and point at things he wanted.

How could Valentine leave him? Even if he was a liability, even if they didn’t know if they could handle what he could do, how could they not try when the alternative was leaving him behind with someone who would torture him?

Luke said they’d figure it out. Valentine had to believe they’d figure it out and as Valentine set off with both of his children held as close as they could be to his chest, he had to believe that together, him and Luke were going to figure this out. They didn’t have another choice.

They’d been living together for nearly a month when they kissed for the first time. Luke had been covered in baby vomit, holding an empty bottle in one hand as he held one of Jonathan’s toys that the toddler had somehow managed to smear jam on. It was a rare moment in the chaos of having two small children that Valentine paused and looked at Luke, really looked at him, and saw him in all his domestically glorious beauty.

Valentine had no clue how he’d have done this alone. He probably wouldn’t have. He wasn’t ‘single dad’ material, nor was he ‘single dad trying to figure out how to be a mundane for the first time’ material. He and his children were here safe because Luke had been willing to come with them and for a moment, Valentine wanted to tell him how thankful he was for that but he swallowed the words down instead.

He was never that great at expressing his feelings. Growing up as a shadowhunter didn’t quite raise them to know how to express themselves or learn how to do so easily.

In the moment, Valentine said nothing but it was later, with both of the kids finally asleep (though, Clary was bound to wake up eventually, crying until one of them went to cradle her) that Luke said something. Apparently, Valentine's face earlier had given away more than he’d hoped.

“Have you ever thought about…” Luke trailed off as Valentine turned to look at him and for a moment, they held eye contact in silence,

“Thought about?” Valentine probed softly.

Instantly, Luke’s eyes flickered away and just before he did, Valentine thought he saw a flash of something that confused him, something ashamed. “Never mind, it’s stupid,” Luke murmured.

“I’m sure it’s not,” Valentine said finally, letting the silence after his words overtake them.

“I just-” Luke shook his head softly, his eyes finding his hands in his lap. “Just earlier, you had a look on your face.”

Valentine swallowed. “A look like what?” He asked softly.

For a moment, Luke didn’t speak. When he finally did, his voice came out in a whisper, “Like you wanted to kiss me.”

Instantly, Valentine looked away from him and Luke flinched at the simple motion, rushing out suddenly, “Sorry, I said it was stupid.”

Valentine found himself staring at the wall. His knee jerk reaction was to deny it and tell Luke he’d vastly misunderstood whatever look he’d seen on his face but Valentine paused for a moment and he thought about it.

Did he want to kiss him? Valentine didn’t feel like that was something he’d be allowed to want to do or even admit to. If they’d both still been shadowhunters, they’d have never said it. They’d both have faced deruning for it. They’d have faced losing everything but they weren’t shadowhunters anymore and they certainly weren’t parabatai.

What was stopping him from admitting it here, in their own home, if he did want to kiss him? Nothing and that left a single question for Valentine to ponder. Did he want to kiss him? Honestly, the thought hadn’t occurred to him before. He hadn’t imagined he could want that before now but the answer most certainly wasn’t ‘no’.

“Would you like that?” Valentine asked slowly, still not looking over.

“If you did,” Luke murmured, also not looking over.

They lapsed into silence yet again before finally, Valentine spoke, “Can I think about it?”

“Of course,” Luke answered and it seemed as simple as that. Valentine would think about it and after a beat, Clary’s high pitched crying started ringing through the air.

Luke leapt up quicker than Valentine had ever seen him move before and he was darting out of the room towards the nursery, speaking over his shoulder as he left, “I’ll get her. You… think.”

So, Valentine sat and he thought.

It took Luke nearly a half an hour before Clary stopped crying. Valentine had assumed he’d finally gotten her to fall asleep again but then, Luke appeared in the doorway, cradling Clary in one of his arms as he balanced a bottle in the other.

“She just wouldn’t stop,” he explained as he came to the couch. “I guess she’s hungry today.”

Valentine hummed softly, peering down at Clary’s small face as Luke sat. She was nearly the size of Luke’s arm now, with her feet just barely dipping into Luke’s hand. Valentine felt a burst of fondness in his chest, not only for his child but for the man holding her as well.

The urge to kiss him felt awkward and weird. Valentine felt like he should do anything but give into it. He felt like if he did, someone was bound to be right there, peering around the corner. Someone was bound to catch them and then, Valentine didn’t even know what would happen but there was no one else here to see. There was no one here to judge or stop them, unless Valentine stopped himself.

Luke said something about Clary, murmuring about how hungry Clary was still but Valentine didn’t even hear him. He looked up suddenly, moving forward before he could stop himself. Their lips met for a brief moment before Valentine was jerking away, suddenly looking anywhere but at Luke’s face.

Luke froze beside him and after a beat or two, he laughed softly. “So, you thought about it?” He asked, gently bouncing his arm as Clary started to fuss.

“I thought about it,” Valentine replied simply.

They didn’t consider themselves together right after that. It took a couple more awkward stray kisses before they grew a lot more at ease with it but eventually, they grew more comfortable in their own home and by the time that Clary and Jonathan were old enough to remember them, they were together and both of their children had two parents.

Valentine hadn’t imagined that would be the case when he and Luke agreed to run away. It certainly hadn’t been what he’d been thinking about but away from Idris and the suffocating oppression of the Clave, they fell into love easily and Valentine couldn’t quite complain about the way things had turned out.

He still thought about Jocelyn. She thought they were dead and Valentine prayed every night that it would remain that way. It wasn’t long after they left that the Circle started to fall out of favor with the Clave.

Jocelyn ‘died’ not soon after but Valentine knew she wasn’t really dead. She wouldn’t have died that easily and just when the Clave had turned on her? No, she was out there and if she ever knew the four of them were alive still, Valentine knew that Jocelyn would never stop until she found them.

Valentine hoped that would never happen. He hoped his children would grow up and be as normal as they possibly could and he hoped that together, he and Luke would manage to protect them from their mother and the danger they’d be in if she ever found them.

Valentine couldn’t see the future. He didn’t know what would happen but he did know that no matter what they faced, he and Luke would handle it together. They had to.

#shadowhunters #the circle era #luke/valentine #tsc #fanfiction #internalized homophobia #my writing

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years ago

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I think that there are 2 options for jocelyn and the tracking.

Either she didn't have one because she wasn't as involved in circle business or she did and Valentine knew where she was the whole time but just waited until he had enough power. Also lied about the searching because he knew where she was and if he lied she would think she had time to prepare and run away again. After all she discovered that he was searching for her and was meaning to run away for a while but they still got her because she just wasn't prepared enough because she thought Valentine still didn't know where she was

Ohhhh. Interesting.

But that would mean he knew about clary too and I feel like he would have tried to get to her and use her powers (he must have suspected) earlier on.

Either way, Valentine is a piece of shit 😎

#the circle

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tsarisfanfiction · 5 years ago

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A Tradition of Pride

Fandom: The Mortal Instruments Rating: Gen Genre: Friendship, ish Characters: Clary, Raphael

When designing the new symbol to represent the Council, Clary struggles to find a symbol to represent the vampires.

Clary frowned, staring at the paper in front of her. It was almost finished, almost but not quite. There was one space, one symbol missing, yet to be drawn, but she couldn't think of it. In this situation, her usual response was to scrunch up the paper and throw it away, only to begin anew, but that wasn't possible here. Well, it was, but she would only keep meeting the same block again and again, and this was not a piece of art she could just abandon.

Well, technically she could, but she didn't want to. It was an honour to be asked to draw the new insignia for the Council, a fresh emblem to represent the new beginnings, the start of an alliance she hoped would last far longer than the previous one had. For the first time, Downworlders had a seat each on the Council, and she wanted to represent that in this artwork.

It had been easy to start with. The symbol of the Nephilim was already well known, and it had not taken her long to draw it. Then it had got harder, although not by much. Creating a symbol to represent each of the four seats held by Downworlders was a great responsibility, and she did not want to pick something wrong. The werewolves had been easy – they drew their power from the full moon, which now proudly displayed itself on the page, alongside the Nephilim's crest. Warlocks and the Fae Folk had been harder, but she was confident that her selections of a spellbook and a four leaved clover were appropriate. Magnus had certainly seemed to think so, when he'd come over to visit Alec – again – and crept up behind her to see what she was drawing. Not that he didn't already know, of course, and his presence hadn't been entirely welcome – it was her drawing, and it wasn't finished yet – although it was relieving to know that he thought his symbol accurate.

No, what was troubling her, the empty space that mocked her artist's block, her lack of imagination in just this one thing, was the vampires. They were the sole reason for numerous scrumpled sheets in the corner, where she'd tried to draw something but it hadn't worked. Nothing that she had tried fit, then again, she was stumped for ideas. She'd even, in a fit of desperation, tried Simon's jokey idea of a bloody fang. That had been eliminated almost before she'd finished drawing it. Compared to the peaceful symbols of the others, it looked far too violent. She didn't want to show the vampires as violent, even if violence and cruelty were the only things she really knew to associate with them.

Perhaps that was her problem. She didn't know the vampires like she did the others, and her view of them was tainted because of what had happened to Simon. They'd wanted him dead, because he was different. They were stoic, traditional and unchanging, and the difference of Simon didn't sit well with them.

Now, if only she could find a symbol for that tradition, that unchanging nature.

Sitting here, staring at the paper, was doing her no favours. Her mind was running in circles, trying desperately to think of something when nothing was coming to her. Artist's block was no-one's friend, and as much as she wanted to get this done now, it wasn't happening. She needed a break.

Slipping the unfinished design under another sketchbook, hidden from the casual eye – hardly anyone in the house had a 'causal' eye but maybe they'd at least respect her privacy, she hoped – she stood, pulling on boots and the green jacket Luke had given her what felt like worlds ago.

It was hard to believe how quickly her life had changed, from a normal school girl whose main concern was hanging out with Simon and lecturing him and Eric on suitable band names, to a Shadowhunter with more angel blood in her than any other, save perhaps her wonderful boyfriend.

She should go see Jace, she knew, but it didn't feel right. He was a musician, yes, but not an artist and she didn't think his wit, or the gentler words he reserved just for her, would help her out of it. She certainly couldn't ask him what represented a vampire. He'd probably say the same thing as Simon. There was no love lost between him and the vampires, really.

Her feet, unguided by her mind, led her towards the edge of the city. It was dark, the moon hiding from view, leaving only the stars to guide her, once she was away from the glare of the Witchlights. Settling herself down in the trees, just beyond the wards, she sighed, staring up at the sky. Perhaps the pressure was too much. Perhaps she should turn down the request after all and hand it over to her mother. Jocelyn was an equally talented artist – moreso, if you asked Clary – and had been a Shadowhunter for far longer. She would be more suited for it.

No, she told herself. She had accepted it, and she would see it through. Clary Fray was not a quitter, even if her name wasn't technically Clary Fray any more. Clarissa Morgenstern. The name still felt unfamiliar, like a glove that didn't quite fit, although she knew it should. Perhaps she was just putting her fingers in the wrong holes, but the knowledge didn't make it any easier to accept that her name wasn't what she'd thought it was.

She didn't like change, she decided. Well, she liked what had happened, but that didn't mean she didn't wish she'd grown up in this world, rather than a shocking introduction to it as a teenager. She liked what had become of the change, but not the change itself. Perhaps that was what the vampires needed to learn to do. Perhaps not embrace the change itself, but accept the results of it. But no, the vampires seemed far too stuck in their ways to do that, and she had no intention of trying to make them listen. More than any of the other Downworlders, they scared her. Werewolves had always been kind to her – thanks to Luke, she knew – and while both Warlocks and Fae had been less open, more confusing, she still knew more or less what to expect from them, and they'd never caused her harm.

Vampires, on the other hand. They had killed her best friend, although to look at Simon you certainly wouldn't think he was dead. She remembered the terror of Hotel Dumort clearly, as Raphael had ordered their deaths. Alone out of all the Downworlders, they were the only ones she truly feared.

"Nephilim rarely leave the safety of their wards, particularly when unarmed," a quiet voice commented and she looked up in surprise. The vampire she had just been thinking about was standing there. She hadn't heard him arrive, then again, perhaps he had been there first and she hadn't seen him.

Either way, the lack of warning unnerved her.

"Valentine's gone," she said, keeping a wary eye on him. "And I'm not that far out."

"Far enough that no-one would hear you scream," Raphael said idly, still standing next to her. She knew that when most saw him – a young teenager with an angel face – they thought him harmless. Having seen two angels herself she had to admit that the description wasn't totally accurate; Raphael was hardly an angel, although still beautiful. She would compare him more to Sebastian – Jonathan. Beautiful, but in the way that could and would kill you if given half the chance.

She didn't feel safe any more.

"Are you going to make me scream?" she asked instead, a challenging look in her eyes that she knew wouldn't faze him at all. If he wanted her dead there was little she could do about it.

He sat down, not quite beside her but not that far away, either.

"It is rare to see a Nephilim outside the safety of their wards," he said, repeating his earlier greeting. Now that he was sitting, not that it really made a difference in the threat levels, Clary could hear the curiosity. That was something she'd forgotten about Raphael, and she wondered if it was standard among vampires to be so interested in the minds of mortals. It was as if he'd forgotten what being human was like.

Perhaps he had – she had no way of knowing just how long he'd looked like he'd just reached puberty.

"I wanted to think," she admitted.

"And you could not do that within Alicante?" Raphael asked, not looking at her. He hadn't looked at her since he'd made his presence known, she realised. Then again, he didn't need to. Not with his superhuman senses.

"Being surrounded by Nephilim isn't helpful when you're trying to think about something that's not Nephilim," Clary replied, taking the advantage she had to study him.

He wasn't white, like most vampires, although she assumed that if he were to stand next to a human of the same ethnicity he would look it. What was he, anyway? Spanish, perhaps. Maybe Mexican. Certainly Spanish was his mother tongue. She wondered how long it had taken him to learn to speak English so fluently that he'd even lost his accent, more or less. It was a subtle reminder that he was far older than he looked.

His eyes were dark, although whether black or merely brown she couldn't tell, and his black hair curled around his face in a way that was entrancing. She wondered if he had always been so beautiful or, like Simon, if being Turned had enhanced his features into the current beauty.

"If you want a vampire to study, perhaps it would be better to study your friend," he said suddenly. She jumped. Of course he'd known that she was staring. "Not everyone takes so kindly to being scrutinised. What is it you are looking for?"

She didn't answer, or look away, although her gaze turned from curious to wary. She was afraid to look away, in case she lost him. He was a killer and her only safety was to know where he was.

After a moment of silence, in which dark orbs turned to look at her, aged eyes still shining with a curiosity she'd associate more with a child, she realised that the answer to her problem was, potentially, in front of her.

"What is a vampire?" she asked him. His eyes widened, then narrowed in suspicion.

"Your friend is a vampire," he said. "You have been inside our home – one of few humans to leave alive – and you have been educated by both Nephilim and Magnus Bane on the matter. You know better than many what a vampire is."

Despite the tone, Clary could see the confusion, and the curiosity still burning inside him.

"I know the theory," she admitted. "But it's not enough."

"Why is it not enough?" he demanded. "You are not one of us. You do not need to know." The unchanging aspect, the one that hated anything it didn't understand, was showing through. It was probably stupid, but Clary decided to keep talking.

"How can I finish a crest if I don't know what it represents?" she asked. The silence felt shocked, just for a moment, before it turned calculating. She continued to explain. This was her one chance, she realised, and it wasn't going to slip away from her. "I'm the one that's designing a new insignia for the Council. It's not just made up of Nephilim any more, and I want to show that. There's a moon for the werewolves, a spellbook for the warlocks, and a clover for the fae. But I don't know what would be best to represent the vampires, and I think it's because I don't understand you."

"Your view of the Night Children is clouded by the Daylighter," Raphael said after a long silence, so long that Clary had thought he wouldn't answer. "The only vampire you interact with considers himself to still be human. He has yet to accept that he is dead." Clary couldn't deny it. "You say that you do not understand us. Perhaps your best course of action would be to think about what you do know, when you remove your friend from the picture."

"You don't like change," Clary said immediately. "You didn't like it when Simon could walk in the daylight. You think yourselves superior to humans, but despite that we still intrigue you."

Dark eyes narrowed further.

"You sound as if you think you know me, not us," he said, somewhat stiffly.

"Aside from Simon, you're the only vampire I've ever spoken to," Clary reminded him. Despite the stiffness, he still managed to look elegant as he inclined his head in acknowledgement.

"And therein lies your problem," he said, looking up at the sky again. "You cannot base something meant to represent us as a whole on just one individual."

"Then tell me," Clary said. "What is a vampire? What are you, as a whole? I can't go round talking to hundreds of vampires, not in the time I have."

Raphael laid himself back on the ground, looking up at the sky.

"We are a proud race," he said after a moment. "You cannot comprehend us because you are not one of us, and have no wish to join our ranks. When you live lives as long as we do, change is an unwanted constant. Our environment changes, the humans that we do know, be they what was once our family or humans that willingly gave us their blood in return for protection. They all fade and die. Vampires should stick to the night. We do not belong in the day, for there are even more changes there. That is why your friend should not exist, and why, had I the chance, he would no longer exist."

He knew she was the one that had Marked Simon.

"But perhaps the main thing to remember is that we are the children of the night," Raphael continued, looking straight up, still. "We stalk the night and sleep during the day."

Clary wondered why he'd said that. Everyone knew that about vampires, even if they thought they only existed in fiction. Then she looked up.

The sky hadn't changed since she'd emerged from her room. The moon was still hidden, with only the stars shining down from above. She looked across at him again, a lean black shadow on the grass, illuminated only by the unwavering light of the stars.

Before she registered it, she had leapt to her feet, charging back into the city and her room with no thought for the vampire she'd just abandoned, not that he minded, probably.

Pulling the paper towards her again and wielding her pencil with the practiced ease of one that had been drawing all her life, as she had, strokes appeared in the blank space, simple, yet elegant. Much like vampires themselves.

Putting the pencil down, she surveyed it for a moment, waiting for the sense of wrongness to hit, as it had all the previous times, but there was none.

"Perfect," she finally allowed herself to breathe. "It's perfect."

Nestled in what was once an infuriating blank space was a star, proud and unchanging, just like the vampires it represented.

#mortal instruments #mortal instruments fanfiction #clary fray #raphael santiago #vampires #tsari writes fanfiction #a tradition of pride #clarissa morganstern #shadowhunters

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bytheangell · 5 years ago

Text

once upon a time... (it was made for us)

(Read on AO3) Square Filled: Fairytale AU for @shadowhunterbingo Pairing: None Rating: Teen and Up – Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Summary: Princess Clarissa Fairchild dreams of a boy in a tower, one who calls to her for help night after night. Every time he calls out to her, begging for help, asking him to save her.She isn't going to let him down. -------------

Clary isn’t sure when the nightmares began. They bring deep creases of worry to her mother’s eyes and forehead, though Jocelyn always soothes her fears by telling her over and over that they’re only dreams. They can’t hurt her, and most importantly - they are not real.

The problem is that they feel real. The details of a tower she’s never seen before are too intricate, too familiar, to be entirely made up. The voice in her head that cries for help - cries to her specifically, using her name, reaching out to her with voice and arms alike - too distinct to be only in her head.

She’s told not to tell anyone else about the nightmares, and for a while, she doesn’t. Clary sees the boy, she hears his screams, and for a while she simply looks away, hoping that if she ignores them in her mind they’ll go away. Instead, she only wakes up feeling guilty, memories of his screams plaguing even her waking hours. He’s being held there by an Evil Queen. Had he told her that? She doesn’t think so. She’s only ever heard him cry out for help, begging and pleading, but this new fact she knows now with great certainty.

The next few times the nightmare comes to her she tries to help, attempting to climb the tower, scaling the sides of the sleek stone the best she can. Each nightmare she gets a little farther up, a little closer to the prince in the burning tower.

Had he always been a prince? Had the tower always been on fire? Clary isn’t sure. She’s long since stopped questioning the dreams.

She tells only her mother of the dreams until her mother, more distraught with every retelling, begs her to stop.

So Clary breaks her promise to not talk to anyone else about them. She has to - she needs to tell someone or they’re going to drive her insane. She sketches the scene that haunts her sleep, showing it to others, waiting for them to ask her where the inspiration came from so she has an excuse to talk about it. About him - her Prince in his burning tower.

They do notice. They ask, and she tells, eager for the opinions of others, until one day Lady Dorothea catches sight of her showing a drawing to one of the castle’s servants.

“Do you know what that is?” she asks Clary, pointing to the drawing.

“It’s from my dream,” Clary says vaguely. Normally she would have no problem trusting Dot, but she’s close to her mother, and if her mother doesn’t want her talking about this then she can’t be sure where Dot stands on the matter.

“It’s not a dream,” Dot says. “It’s a nightmare. That tower, that place… you’d do best to forget it, Clary. Edom is no place for Princesses, even in dreams.”

There’s something forboding in her words that tells Clary this isn’t just helpful advice, it’s a warning.

“Does your mother know about this?” she asks, and Clary, too afraid to lie, nods.

“She used to, at least. She made me stop talking about them, so I draw them instead.”

Dot turns and walks away without another word. Clary wonders if she should be afraid, but all she can find it in herself to be is thrilled because now she has a name: Edom.

---

Clary makes it to the edge of the kingdom before they realize she’s left and come after her. She hasn’t done anything like this before - running away, seeking out a kingdom she’s never even heard of before, let alone been to - so she doesn’t cover her tracks or leave at the right time to avoid being noticed and followed.

When they bring her back her mother is waiting, along with a man she’s never seen before. When he looks to her it’s with a flash of cat-eyes - a warlock.

“I’m not here to hurt you,” the warlock says, holding his hands up in front of him. It’s meant to be an act of reassurance but Clary backs away from the sudden movement, fearing what magic those hands may unleash.

“He’s a friend. He’s here as a favor,” Jocelyn says. There’s an edge to her voice as she nods to a guard and the door closes behind Clary.

“What kind of favor?”

“He’s going to take away some of your memories,” Jocelyn tells her. “It’s for your own good. Those nightmares of yours, the things you’re seeing, the things you’ve learned… they’ll only hurt you. I’m only trying to protect you.”

Clary struggles against the men who grab her by the arms and drag her into a chair where she’s strapped in, unable to move.

“Please, don’t - the boy, I have to help him. I have to save him!” Clary pleads, kicking out every time they try to come near.

“What boy?” The warlock asks, hesitating. “She never mentioned a boy any of the other times.”

Other times? What-- how many times have they done this to her?

“Magnus,” Jocelyn snaps. “I didn’t hire you to encourage this, I hired you to put an end to it.”

“There’s a boy,” she says quickly, hoping that maybe the warlock - Magnus - will listen this time. “He’s locked in a burning tower by an evil Queen and-”

“Magnus, now!” Jocelyn practically screams, her tone frantic now.

“I’m sorry, biscuit,” Magnus says with a fond sense of familiarity, and he truly does look sorry as deep blue tendrils of magic reach out toward her, and everything goes black.

---

It isn’t long before the nightmares return, except that Clary doesn’t know that they’re returning - to her they’re new, calling out to her all over again. The first few times she wakes up she barely remembers having them. She mentions them to her mother who bristles and sends her away. When she returns, still eager to talk about what she saw in her nightmare, she overhears Jocelyn arguing with Lucian Graymark. Clary presses herself back against the wall to listen, staying out of sight around the corner.

“They’re back already,” Jocelyn sighs.

“So soon?” Luke sounds worried. “I told you this was a bad idea. You can’t keep wiping her memory like this.”

“What else would you have me do? She tried to find him the last time, Lucian! But that’s impossible because he’s dead.”

“Is it impossible? Or are you so unwilling to consider the idea that he might be alive that you’re putting your own daughter’s life at risk in the process.”

“I am not,” Jocelyn insists stubbornly. “She’s safer this way. We all are.”

“Is she? Because she remembers. She’s going to keep remembering. And maybe she’d be better off if she knew everything so she could make her own decisions rather than running off after things she only knows half of.”

“No. Absolutely not. I’ll tell her… one day. When she’s ready.”

“When she’s ready, Jocelyn? Or when you are?” Luke asks, and Clary hears the click of her mother’s shoes against the stone floor echoing down the hall as her only warning that she’s leaving rather than continuing whatever fight they’re having. Clary tenses, listening closely for a second, only to hear the steps fade - her mother went down the hallway on the other end of the room rather than coming in her direction, and she heaves a sigh of relief at not being caught eavesdropping.

Or so she thinks.

“Clarissa,” comes Lucian’s voice, and all of that relief is replaced by enough tension she forgets to breathe for a second as if stiffening and holding her breath might make her invisible to the man standing in front of her.

“How much of that did you overhear?” he asks her.

“Enough,” she says defiantly.

“Good. Then I’m not breaking my promise to your mother not to tell you anything if you already know,” he says, and though there’s the hint of amusement in his tone at that his face is still far too serious for Clary’s liking.

“The boy in my nightmares, you know who he is, don’t you?” she asks.

“Possibly. The last time you had the dreams you began drawing pictures of them. The resemblance is… well, too much to be a coincidence, I think, if you’re the one getting visions of him.”

Clary’s eyes widen at that. “Visions? But they’re just-”

“Dreams. Yes. Maybe they are… but maybe they aren’t. And if they aren’t, then the more you know about them the more you’re going to be able to prepare yourself for what’s to come.” Luke’s words are forboding, and Clary doesn’t like the implication of them one bit.

“What is to come?” she asks, trying to sound much more fearless than she feels just then.

“I think you’re meant to save your brother.”

---

The weeks that follow seem to drag on for ages. Lucian tells her things about her family’s past, about a brother they thought was dead, but who may have just been taken out from under her mother’s nose.

“You mustn’t think too ill of her,” Lucian insists softly. “She had no reason to believe otherwise. Even when you started having your nightmares… she truly believes him dead.”

“But you don’t,” Clary points out.

“I’m not willing you rule out the possibility he’s alive,” Luke corrects. “Your father was a clever man. Cruel, but clever. If he wanted to take him...” His words trail off there, unwilling (or perhaps unable) to elaborate further.

“Each time Magnus takes your memories away the dreams seem to come back stronger and more frequent, as do your desires to decipher them and save the boy in the tower. Feels a lot like destiny to me, doesn’t it, kiddo?”

Clary nods. “I have to help him. I can help him, I know I can! Just tell me what I need to know.”

Her brother, Lucian tells her, was experimented on with magic as a baby. He had powers they did not understand and could not control. He was different - the dangerous kind of different. And his name was Jonathan.

Clary studies in secret - she learns the routes between here and where Edom is meant to exist, though none from their kingdom have ever dared to enter there. Dragons rain fire down from the skies, demon-like creatures with inky black skin that circle the land. The Queen - Lilith - is sent to be a warlock of her own right, though none have come back from their quests to find her to confirm or deny.

To many, that’s more than enough confirmation.

She also trains in secret. Lucian is friends with one of the knights who teaches her the best he can in the cover of night, working through hand-to-hand combat and weapons maneuvers not normally given to the women of the court. It’s a good thing she’s a quick study. In fact, with some more training, she’s told that she could easily be one of the better fighters in her family’s kingdom.

That’s good, she thinks, because she’s going to need all the natural skill she can get.

---

The next time Clary has a nightmare she screams the name from the bottom of the burning tower as she dodges the flames to try and find a safe place to climb.

“Jonathan!”

“Clary!” He cries back, and though he’s screaming she can see, just for a moment, the pleased look cross his features at the sound of his name leaving her lips.

“Tell me who’s keeping you here!” she tries, wondering if she’ll remember when she wakes up even if he does tell her.

Jonathan opens his mouth to speak but the word is choked off in his throat, and he’s pulled back, away from the window, with an invisible but violent force.

“I��m going to find you,” she promises, even as she feels herself slipping. “I’m going to save you.”

And then she falls.

---

It’s several more weeks until Lucian tells her she’s allowed to leave. She starts to suspect he may just be stalling, that he’ll never allow her to leave and seek out Jonathan, but then why risk going behind her mother’s back as much as he already has? She forces herself to be patient, all the while dreaming of the Prince in the tower - of her destiny.

And then, one night, it’s time. “You leave in an hour. Get your armor, Hodge is readying your horse.”

Clary’s ready - she’s had a sack packed with essentials since they started planning, one she’s switched the rations out from every other day to keep them fresh and ready at a moment’s notice.

They’re nearly outside when Luke adds, “And I have a friend to accompany you on your journey for extra protection.”

“What?” Clary demands. “No. Taking someone with me was never part of the plan. I can’t risk-”

“Trust me,” Luke insists. “Magnus isn’t a risk. You’ll need him once you cross the border into Edom.”

Clary freezes at the sight of the yellow-eyed man sitting atop a black horse next to her own white mare.

“Magnus - the same Magnus who keeps taking my memories?” Clary hisses. She can’t think of a bigger risk, and to be left alone with him so far from home, from the safety of anything familiar---

“I’m sorry for what I agreed to do for your mother in the past,” Magnus says, bowing his head. “It wasn’t right. I’m here to make amends.”

“Luke, I don’t know if I can trust him,” she whispers so only Luke can hear.

“Then trust me, Clary. He’s here to help.”

She doesn’t have much of a choice - he’s here now, and she can’t waste another minute waiting around to argue.

“I trust you. And thank you, Luke. For everything.”

She double-checks the daggers sheathed at her hips, the armor around her torso, and slings her pack over the back of the horse before mounting it herself and taking off under the cover of night, with Magnus by her side.

“I’m coming, Jonathan,” she says under her breath as she urges her horse on faster.

---

Most of the travel is surprisingly easy until they cross the border into Edom at daybreak. There’s nothing officially marking it, but it becomes obvious as the ground begins to grow dry, shifting from grass to dark reddish-brown earth which only seems to grow leafless, twisting trunks of what can hardly be considered to be proper trees. Even the sky seems to take on a golden-red hue behind dense clouds.

“This way,” she says, turning them to the left.

“How do you know?” Magnus asks, raising an eyebrow but following her without hesitation.

“I just… do. I can feel him. In my dreams, it always felt like I was being drawn to that tower, to that boy, whether he’s Jonathan or someone else entirely. I feel the same pull here, only stronger.” She doesn’t have a single doubt that her instincts are right.

They travel in that direction for what feels like hours, though it doesn’t seem as if the world around them changes at all. The sun should be rising, moving throughout the sky, but instead, it hovers steadily over the horizon. It’s disorienting.

The first time Clary hears a dragon screech overhead she freezes. It’s much larger than she imagined, and if it weren’t for Magnus there’s a good chance she’d be dead before she ever reaches her prince in his tower.

Instead, Magnus sends a bolt of magic straight through the creature’s heart. It looks as if it disappears within the dragon, but then she sees it - the faint, pulsing blue from beneath its skin. The magic is killing it from the inside. She has to turn her head away as it tears the creature open to destroy it.

“I-” she stammers, pulse racing, hands shaking at her sides. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m here for a reason, remember. Let’s keep going.”

They continue on, for how long Clary doesn’t know. There are more dragons, along with other creatures that are somehow more horrifying though they crawl along the ground. This time she’s far more useful in dealing with them, putting her weapons training to good use. She’s infinitely grateful for Luke sending Magnus along, however - without him by her side she would be dead at least a dozen times over.

Finally, just when Clary is starting to wonder if they’ll have to attempt a camp to rest, they see the tower in the distance. In her dreams, it always stood alone, the focal point of everything she saw. But here, in person, it’s attached to a much more sprawling structure. The castle has torches lit up along the sides of the exterior, and the windows of the tower itself are lit with flames as well. And there, leaning out of the window, crying for help -

“Jonathan.” Clary breathes out the name as his pleas echo across the barren land to where she and Magnus pause.

“Help me! Someone, please! Help me!”

Dragons circle the tower, too many of them to count.

“If you want, you can stay here, Princess. I can try and get close enough on my own to-” Magnus starts to offer, but Clary cuts him off.

“No,” she says, taking a deep breath to steady her trembling voice. “It has to be me.”

“Very well,” Magnus says. “I’ll provide cover. I can’t portal anywhere I haven’t been before, which means I can’t get you into the tower itself. I could drop you above it, but that’s far too much of a risk. What I can do is get you back faster: take this.”

Magnus reaches into a small pouch tied to his waist, pulling out a necklace that looked like a colorful shard of glass.

“Once you get to Jonathan, I can open a portal for the two of you to jump through from the tower. But listen closely: you must be in contact with one another, and with this shard. Understand?”

Clary nods. There’s so much pressure on her now, not just to make it to the castle but to get to the tower, to convince Jonathan she’s there to help, and to get him to jump through a portal with her that she isn’t even sure will work because all she has to go off of is blind faith in the man giving her a magical portal necklace.

It’s a lot. It’s too much… but she doesn’t have a choice. There’s no turning back now, not when she’s so close. Leaving her horse behind with Magnus she takes off at a run towards the castle.

As predicted, dragons spot her coming from a mile away and begin to descend on her. Magnus makes short work of them each and every time - after the second one, she stops looking up in fear at every screech and simply trusts him to have her back. She deals with the creatures that come at her from the ground, with blades through hearts and heads, aiming for where brains and major arteries should be or slicing at legs to keep them from chasing after her as she leaves them behind, wounded.

When she reaches the bottom of the castle and looks up, the tower with the boy in it looming ominously overhead, she doubts herself more than she has at any other moment of this journey. It’s the first time she’s truly alone, even with Magnus watching from afar to keep the dragons at bay. He can’t help her climb, he can’t keep her arms from shaking with the effort needed to find every grip and pull herself up. She pauses more often than she’d like, for longer than she’d like.

“Clary!” the boy in the tower calls down to her. “Is it really you?”

She wonders if he’s dreamt of her as well. Perhaps her nightmares were his dreams of reassurance and comfort that there was someone out there, someone coming.

“Hold on, Jonathan! I’m almost there.”

There’s no reply - instead, it goes eerily silent above her. The screeching and flapping wings of the dragons cease entirely. Jonathan is no longer calling out of his window to her and something doesn’t feel right. She continues to climb, her progress slow but steady until her fingertips grip a window ledge.

She expects Jonathan to be there waiting - instead, a female’s hand with long, black nails reaches out to grab her by the wrist and pull her up as if she weighs nothing. Blood red lips and narrowed eyes framed by long black hair are what greet her instead.

“Well, well, well,” the Queen says, her voice dripping with amusement. “I stand corrected,” she says, gaze turning toward the corner of the room where Jonathan sits huddled on the floor, a fresh burn covering his left cheek. “Looks like you tricked a Morgenstern into taking interest in your pathetic pleas after all.”

The woman pulls Clary in through the window and drops her to the floor, but Clary is quick to spring to her feet. She readies herself for an attack but it doesn’t come. The Queen walks back towards Jonathan, grabbing him by his shirt and forcing him up.

“Stand in the presence of a Princess,” she hisses.

“Sorry Mother,” Jonathan mumbles, wincing at the pain of moving his lips as they pull at the burned flesh on his face.

“Let him go,” Clary demands, daggers pulled and ready at her sides.

“Or you’ll do what, little girl?” The Queen asks, arching an eyebrow at her. With a flick of her wrist, the dagger in Clary’s right hand is flung from her grasp, out of reach. “You have no idea who you’re dealing with. He isn’t worth it. Leave now and I’ll spare your life.”

Clary looks to Jonathan who stands, shaking, behind the Queen, defeat written in his hunched shoulders and the way his eyes remain trained on the floor. Her heart breaks for him and the knowledge that he believes his mother’s words, that he’s not worth saving, that he expects Clary to turn and leave to save herself.

“You’re wrong,” Clary says. “He is worth saving, and I’m not leaving without him.”

Jonathan stands a little straighter at that, looking over at her in disbelief.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” the woman says, bringing her hand up slowly in front of her. “On both counts.”

Another swift movement of her hand and Clary feels her feet lift off of the ground, an invisible momentum pushing her back through the open window. She manages to catch her fingertips on the ledge, dangling over the side of the building.

This time Jonathan does appear at the window, looking down at her as if he isn’t sure whether pulling her back up to face his mother is truly a better option than letting her fall. Clary hears a noise beneath her dangling feet and glances down to see a swirling portal beneath her.

Magnus.

Clary looks up at Jonathan with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Do you trust me?”

Jonathan hesitates, then nods.

“Then grab by hand,” she says, getting a better grip with her right hand so she can reach her left up towards Jonathan. “And jump.”

Jonathan’s eyes go wide. “What?! No!”

“Trust me,” she repeats again, with more urgency this time. She knows the Queen thinks her helpless, that she’s simply playing with them. They don’t have much time.

Jonathan realizes this as well. “Goodbye, Mother,” he says with a single glance back before leaning over the ledge of the windowsill, grabbing Clary’s outstretched hand and jumping down after her as she lets go.

Clary grips the necklace shard with one hand, the other holding tight to Jonathan, as they fall through the portal in the air beneath them-

-and come tumbling onto the ground next to Magnus on the other side.

Clary hears a cry of anguish from the window and sees the Queen in the place where Jonathan stood all those times before, looking down at them.

“You actually came for me,” Jonathan says, voice full of disbelief. “I saw you in my dreams so many times, and I hoped, but-”

“As much as I love a good family reunion,” Magnus starts, eyeing the sudden influx of dragons coming from the direction of the castle. “Perhaps we could save the celebrations for once we cross that border home, what do you think?”

Clary mounts her horse, reaching a hand to help Jonathan up behind her.

“I think that’s a pretty good plan,” Clary agrees, already spurring her horse forward. “C’mon Jonathan, let’s get you home.”

#clary fray #jonathan morgentern #magnus bane #shadowhunters #shadowhunterbingo #long post #elle writes a few deadbeat lines

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