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#and i have the first day of 12th grade tomorrow
zerothisnero · 1 month
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Guuuyss what's yalls MLP name?
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Mines
✨️Shiny Star The Loyal✨️
@drowned-hubris @mariespooky @moonlightalpha666 @maritatari @angels0fpride @questioningstressing
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roimp · 11 months
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if i don’t get to see the eras tour movie i will kill myself
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jensenscomedyelbows · 22 days
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edit by the amazing and talented and generous @lemondropsonice
SPN FIC REC FEST #11
All-Time Favorites/Free Recs
The only pairing is Wincest
Most are explicit, but those that aren’t are marked accordingly.
THE FIREFLY THAT LOVED METALLICA by fleshflutter
Rated R, but WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH/RESURRECTION. I passionately adore this indescribably poignant story. Get tissues.
LIKE STARING INTO THE SUN by nyxocity
It was never about the girls. It was about them.
A new OFC in each part, until there are no more FCs at all and it’s just them.
There is also a sequel, linked to the original
RUN IT ALL OVER (THE WEST SERIES) by runawaydr3amer
I LOVE this series with a passion not too dissimilar from Sam and Dean’s for each other
When you live a life like theirs, chasing tail isn't always an option. But sometimes you just want someone to touch your dick, and your brother’s hand is as good as any.
THE LAST OUTPOST OF ALL THAT IS by gekizetsu
I’m sure this will end up on multiple lists during this event, as it’s a fandom classic that everyone loves. I don’t even want to try to describe it. 60K words. Casefic. First time. I think there’s some H/C. Beautiful. So so sad. Joy amidst the wreckage and heartache. I love it so much I should probably get the title tattooed on my body somewhere
NOT FOR SAMSON IN THE TEMPLE by maygra-fic
Coda to my all time favorite, see above. You have to read that one first to truly appreciate how this coda maintains the tone, voice, and prose quality. You feel like it’s from the same author, but surprise! it’s not, and that’s remarkable. Mature Sam and Dean. Elderly Sam and Dean
THE GHOST OF SOMEBODY AT HIS SIDE by runedgirl
Prepare to weep. When I need pain, this one guarantees I’ll get it. Author Description: The night before Sam Winchester meets with his 12th grade guidance counselor for the second time, something very bad happens. One of those somethings that takes only a ridiculously short amount of time – in this case, about three minutes – yet manages to change the course of two lives forever. Or: Sam goes to Stanford, and takes most of Dean's heart with him.
COGNITIVE DISSONANCE by Morgan
This one just…stuck with me. The events that unfold are awful for Dean in particular, but I’m sure it wasn’t a great time for Sam, either. Bobby makes an appearance. Angst for daaaaays, and NON CON/DUB CON warning is red-flag-level. Author Description: Sam loses his mind. It's that simple. Dean doesn't know what to do, but he's not going to walk away from this, he's never backed down in all his life. If you're looking for happy endings, don't come here. This shit is dark.
THE SILENCE OF A SUMMER DAY by wanttobeatree
***Everyone who loves the Winchesters should read this amazing future fic***
Rated PG. The world has moved on. This is their legacy. Haha, yes, of course I’m recommending this one again. No sex whatsoever! Weird, right?!?!
@spnficrecfest
RESTRAINT by DarkEmeralds
Free rec. Rated M. 200k+ words. It's not Spn or Wincest or even J2, not really. I guess it’s technically a J2 AU. I’m sneaking it in here because it’s an all-time favorite of mine. This might not be your cup of tea, fanfic wise. I certainly didn’t think it was mine. But but but…it’s absolutely lovely, it’s extremely well-written, the tone/voice/verbiage is accurate for its time, and it has a happy ending that made me cry HAPPY tears when I was finished. If you like historical romance, you’ll like this. It’s set in Regency England! Author Description: The calling card said Tristan Jarrett, Viscount Penrith. Beneath that, in a lazy scrawl, was the addendum Mr Acklebury, be so good as to wait on me tomorrow, number 10, Half Moon Street. Yours, &c., Penrith. Mr Acklebury was not sure how he felt about being thus summarily commanded to paint his lordship's portrait.
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withahappyrefrain · 2 months
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sending you lots of love, abby. i'm in college right now, a year behind my original batchmates (i'm supposed to be in 4th year/senior year right now, but stopped before 12th grade because of the pandemic). Some of my former batchmates already have their own businesses, got engaged, have/are expecting kids, are studying in better unis than be, etc. etc.
and here i am in a city-run college, studying my ass off for a degree i didn't even expect to take up in the first place. i don't pity myself a lot but sometimes, seeing their facebook posts and stories makes me just wanna sigh.
i also kinda envy them for being so... carefree. over here it's typical for one to stay with their parents until they graduate, or have their own job, and my parents are pretty strict so i don't go out very much, and i've never really experienced like... i know it's weird, but i never experienced what it's like to go to a club, or a party-party, or like a birthday party without my parents in the same venue.
it's kinda draining to be thinking about what i've missed in life, but sometimes thinking about it and having a good cry makes me feel even just a little bit better every day.
i hope you get a big hug and lots of love, and that your pillow's cold when you sleep, and that you can get your favorite food tomorrow. lots of love <3
Awww thank you! We really are going through it huh 😭
You have plenty of time to experience things! There was a lot I didn't do until I was out of college.
I did get a big hug from my husband when he came home from work (he also told me next time I find myself in a similar spiral, to just wake him up and he'll take the day off from work). I also got to have some chicken tenders and get my haircut soon, so it's shaping up to be an okay day!
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moonjxsung · 5 months
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upon learning the term bedrotting i feel like 80% of my life has been just that. so i completely get it, i bedrot unless i absolutely need to go out (✨depression✨)
fr perv hanji brings out my past wattpad dramatic af 1D fic self. i love him, he also lives in my head rent free because the perv ji character just fits him soooo well. and that thing your ex did was super hanji coded too if he’s feeling especially confident. manifesting perv hanji everyday✨
choi minho, the man that you are. he’s also my baby, so pretty so hot and so nice😭 the greenest green flag to ever exist. i saw an article the other day bc someone accused him of being a bully in HS (and first off like wtf that man is like 30+yrs old, why you bringing up his hs life at this age). the thing is that his former classmates were like “wtf hell no, bro is obsessed with a soccer team that hasn’t one in 20 yrs, you really think he’s a bully?” 😭😂😂😂 they said that he used to get snsd autographs for his teachers and friends. literally an angel baby. also, ur minho dream, care to elaborate??👀
and frrrrr what’s up with these exes here? are you guys okay? i thankfully don’t think i ever had a situation like that with anyone, ex or not, and if i did, i def repressed it. but i always remember this situation a friend of mine was in. so she was my bestie for like all of high school (she dumped me for the church💔 my religious trauma fr) and she was in a band and one of her mates introduced her to this other guy who played guitar (conveniently, he was also really really good friends with my current bf at that time). anyways we were like 17 (my bf and i) and she was a year younger so 16. and we were just finishing our list of college applications, they saw each other randomly bc he auditioned for a band that she was in and he started texting her a lot and offering to take her to band practice (thankfully her parents were like overprotective so it never happened). mind you, he was born in 95 and she was 00. so if we were in like grade 11 or 12 he was like well into uni. so, she tells me that she’s going to this uni like three hours away from where i was going. and i’m like all happy and supportive and whatever and she’s just like “oh and _______ told me that he studies like 15minutes away from my campus so he said that i could go to his apartment and we could read comics” and i was just like 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩and i told her that that was absolutely insane and reading comics def didn’t mean reading comics. so she got kinda mad and we stopped talking about him. and like a year later (she ended up not going to that uni), i stayed at her house once and she told me that he turned out to be a super sketchy guy. and she’s always been this really really physically beautiful person like main visual fr, but soooo naive, and shit like this happed so frequently. she once told me that in middle school, she was kinda dating a guy from 12th grade so she was like 13 and he was like 17-18🚩🚩🚩 so yeah, men suck. i’m thankful to have never experienced something like that or anything but im sure that my rbf and the paranoia and resistance my parents inflicted on me in terms of men helped.
so yeah, if there’s anything that the minors that sneak into ur blog should know is: that older guy that’s talking to you is 100% an absolute creep, pls stop talking to him🙏🏻
anyways bb, i hope you have soooo much fun watching the ateez coachella streaming!!! i will be with u @ heart bc im def watching it here, last week’s was really freaking awesome.
-🐈‍⬛
WE LOVE BEDROTTINGGGG my plans for tomorrow are just to bedrot bc this week was tiring as hell and my sister’s getting sick so I have preemptively planned to stay in and sleep as much as I physically can in between writing. I am so excited ‼️‼️
PLEASE something about perv Hanji just gets me GOING my ex is fucking trash but he did the most pervy shit sometimes and I just imagine it as Hanji au now to repress the bad memories 😭 I remember we were sexting @ thanksgiving dinner one year while he was literally sitting next to his entire family and he left the table to send me videos of him taking care of himself in the backseat of his car like if that’s not SO Hanji 😭😭😭😭 PLEASE. I would melt
THE MINHO THING PWLWAASSKKEKE I SAW THAT TOO AND I WAS LAUGHING SOOO HARD CHOI MINHO IS THE GREENEST FLAG EVERRRRR NO WAY YALL WANT TO PRETEND HE WAS A BULLY 😭😭 also my dream was v short lived BUT I dreamt that he had to go to work in my place for some reason and run some of my meetings for me and so we met up so he could give me business updates and we were just sitting so close to each other and laughing and getting zero work done LMFAO I remember thing “oh my god I have to fuck this man” PLSLSLWLEKEKSMJS HE’S SO FINE……….
Oh my god that story about your friend is insane 😭 that sucks that she ended up dropping you for the church (she’s missing out on the best friendship frfr) but I hope she’s gotten a little smarter about avoiding weird guys and sorta understanding the implications of what they say :/ my sister used to work at the movies when she was like 16 and one of her coworkers was this 25 year old weirdo who snapchatted her once inviting her to “watch marvel movies together” and we were instantly like OHHHH THAT’S NOT…….
Sagely words of advice from all of us here on stayblr stay away from older men w creep vibes AND don’t pursue anything with anyone who clearly isn’t over their ex 😀😀😀😀😀😀
ALSO BBY I JUST FINISHED COACHELLA STREAMING AAAAHQHWJSMSKS THEY SOMEHOW DID EVEN BETTER THAN LAST WEEK)????? HOWWW IS THAT POSSIBLE…, ALSO “GOLDEN HOUR” NEW COMEBACK IN SUMMER????? IM SO HYPED I LOVE ATEEZ SO MUCH FUCKKKK 😭😭😭🫶🫶🫶‼️‼️
I love you baby I hope you had the bestttt day !!!!!! 💓💖💘💗
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187days · 1 year
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Day Four
It was the first day of school for our students!
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And I was, in fact, ready for it.
It went by REALLY quickly, and my throat is super sore from projecting my voice to speak over freshmen for the first time in several months, but it was awesome. I mean, it started with me spilling some of the coffee I got in the main office (a local coffee shop brought us coffee and donuts, how nice is that?!?!), but I managed not to spill it on my clothes, so that did not stop the awesomeness.
Those of you who've followed my blog for a while know that my schedule went from A-B block to semester block three years ago, and now we're trying something new with freshmen: half block, year-long classes. They also renamed World Cultures to Global Studies so it matches with tenth grade American Studies, which, hey, that's cool.
So this is what my schedule looks like:
Block 1: Prep
Block 2A: Global Studies (23 students)
Block 2B: Global Studies (22 students)
Advisory/Flex: (16 students in advisory, which meets on Mondays; flex- as the same suggest- varies everyday)
Block 3: APGOV (12 students)- my lunch is during this block, too
Block 4A: Global Studies (21 students)
Block 4B: Global Studies (22 students)
I don't have an opinion about the half blocks yet, really, but I'm sure I'll form one quickly. I'm pretty confident I can teach that course in any schedule I'm told to teach it in, though. It's super adaptable by design.
Today didn't have a typical schedule since there are first day things that had to be done. Students went to their advisories first so that they could get all the start of school paperwork, their chromebooks, etc... and there were two twenty-ish minute class meetings (one for 10th and 12th grade, one for 9th and 11th; my advisees are ninth graders this year) so The Principal could welcome everyone to the new school year, go over changes since last year and introduce new staff, and discuss major behavioral expectations. After that, students went to their classes, but each block was about ten minutes shorter than normal.
With my ninth graders, I did introductions, went over my course guide, and shared what I expect of them as students. Their assignment is to write me an email to tell me what they expect of me as their teacher, and what they expect of themselves in the class. I started doing that a few years ago and have kept doing it because it gives me some great insights.
In APGOV, I asked students why they'd chosen to take the course (answers ranged from "I'm passionate about politics" to "Ehh, it fit in my schedule"), talked about why I'd chosen to teach it and what they can expect from it (and from me). Lastly, I had them take the Pew Research Political Typology Quiz and share their results with me. We'll do more with that next class, but it's just fascinating for me to learn the different viewpoints of my students.
At the end of the day, I made sure I was squared away for tomorrow, which took longer than I thought it would because I kept remembering stuff I wanted to get done. But I left around 3:45, high-fived Mrs. T on the way out, that's a wrap on the first day!
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12thkidiary · 2 years
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Hello, World!
Thunder clouds are thundering outside. I have a competition tomorrow for which I feel thoroughly unprepared. Today was the second day of 12th grade, and I am already a mess. 
WordPress welcomed me to the site with a ‘Hello World!’, so I’ll do the same.
Hello People Who Took The Time To Actually Read This! Your sacrifice is greatly appreciated. 
I suppose I should introduce myself first. I’m Nainika, very recently promoted to 12th, an aspiring author, and a victim of hearing every adult around me tell me to start a blog. It’s a good idea, I will admit. I can improve my writing, bring a bit of discipline to my life, and have a snazzy page for my portfolio. But the thing no one really tells you is how hard figuring out your blog is. This idea was a shower thought (as the best ideas really are), and I’m going to be honest with you, dear reader, I have no idea if it will work. 
In theory, this will be a digital, very public, diary of my 12th grade. Sometimes I’ll talk about a topic that greatly interested me in school, maybe I’ll vent (I do that a lot). Maybe I’ll go into a deep rabbit hole of questioning my own existence, or I’ll write a 3-page essay on why Remus Lupin is the best comfort character goddamit. In short, stuff that I should probably write in one of my 100s of empty journals and keep it locked, but I’ve always been an oversharer. Now I can benefit from it. 
I’m a student of humanities if that wasn’t obvious till now. My subjects, if you’re interested to know, are Political Science, Sociology, English, Economics, and Maths. Please don’t ask me about the last subject, I don’t know why I took it. I’m suffering greatly. 
So, about this competition I have tomorrow. It’s an MUN. I’m in the UNW, and my country is Switzerland. I’m not going to tell you what all I researched, do that on your own if you’re interested, but my God is researching tough. In my defense, I registered on the 21st, and the conference is tomorrow i.e. the 25th of March, so I didn’t have a lot of time. But that’s making excuses, and we’re trying to reduce that this year. 
I’ve only ever been to one MUN before this, and it was a major flop. It was overcrowded, I was a bundle of nerves, and the only people I knew were from my own school, by whom I’m greatly intimidated. You’ll figure out, dear reader, that I’m intimidated by almost everyone. It’s very easy to intimidate me. Put overcoming that in my list of goals to achieve by the end of the year, will you?
Anyways, this MUN is online, so thank God for small mercies. I have done my research, though it’s all over the place in a google doc right now, and I’ve made a few friends, though the only communication we’ve had is a ‘hi’ or a ‘have you done this before?’ Another small mercy is that this isn’t a competition, in the sense that there won’t be a ‘best delegate’, stuff like that, and yet another small mercy is that I’m not registered through my school. 
Don’t get me wrong, I love this school. I’ve been loyal to it since the 3rd grade, and I’m going to graduate from here too. But this just adds to expectations I still haven’t learned how to handle, and I’d like to attend at least one MUN where I can just explore, learn, and have fun. 
That’s another thing I struggle with- expectations. You’re just uncovering all of my insecurities, aren’t you?
Google says a good blog post should have about a 1500-2100 word length, but I’m sitting on my sofa with a word count of about 700 words, and that’s quite enough for me, thank you. 
With that, I’ll take your leave. I hope you’ll stick around with me while I survive this last year of schooling, and maybe find some comfort in knowing you’re not the only one struggling with basic life problems. 
XO
Naini
(I lied, that wasn’t 700 words. But now it is.)
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view one WordPress - Hello, World!
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demonicintegrity · 2 years
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idk if this helps at all--no worries if not--but re your "whats the point" post--i felt very much the same a few years ago while I was still in school. and like, yeah, it sucks. It really does suck that bad.
It's awful trying to mitigate the damage done to you by not just the already-too-much of school, but also your own brain. It constantly feels like too much. You are not overreacting.
That said--my God, I cannot describe to you how much easier it is once you've graduated. Like, yeah, it still continues to suck, because your brain wants you to stop moving, but like... even just the small amount of rest that you get when you aren't having to deal with the pressure of homework, projects, and whatnot feels like a fucking vacation.
I promise it's going to be okay eventually. Yeah, it's going to suck every step of the way there, but a lot of the time, every step sucks a little less. It's like learning how to use an atrophied muscle again--it does get easier, but you have to use it every day.
This is very sweet, thank you a lot.
Funnily enough, the whole “holding onto X point” is smth I brought up with my counselor during our first appointment. I had spent like 7th - 12th grade with the same mentality of “if I just graduate high school and get to college it’ll all get easier” and it did! Until it didn’t.
She said it was a survival tactic because I was in survival mode. Holding onto X point kept me going. And then I flipped, and now I’m terrified of losing a lot. Which is arguably a different angle of survival mode yknow? And it’s harder and harder to grasp on “just graduate” when the very real fear of what’s after is still pressing down. There’s always smth to worry about.
(My grad mentor says I need to be more present. Acknowledging future events and worries is good and all, but I can’t have that weight on me when I need to focus on what’s due tomorrow. He’s right.)
I’d like the thought of graduating though. Then I can use my own kitchen again and not a shitty dorm microwave lmao. And I could move out hopefully.
I do like the muscle analogy though. Everything’s a skill and thus it lends itself to being a muscle fairly well. Problem is Im thinking my muscle is more of the overextended and sore type of pain. Burn out be a bitch yknow? But the remedy of stretching it out each day is still the same I think.
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therandomavenger · 7 months
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The State of Things
It’s been a busy couple of months here at stately Grayson-Coats manor. A lot going on. Like, a lot a lot.
Jimmy and I spent a few weeks furiously planning the wedding. We have a tentative date (Oct 12th), and we pretty much have our colors (grey and purple) and the overall flow of the ceremony, as well as our attendants selected. Our priest has agreed to marry us (which I something I never thought would be possible, but that’s the Episcopal Church for you), and we’ve decided to get married at the actual church, which will be amazing. The next step is to call the church and schedule an appointment with the priest and also whomever we need to talk to to actually book the church and that has been on my to-do list for like six weeks now and I … just keep forgetting to do it? This is not a ‘he has mixed feelings so he’s dragging his feet’ thing, which I can forgive you for thinking. It’s a ‘the church office is only open until noon every day and by the time I remember I should call they are closed’ thing. I did put it on my LifeUp! To-do list so it should happen soon, hopefully tomorrow. I hear you. Get your shit together, Chad.
We both started school January 16th, and that has been an adjustment for both of us. I love my classes. I love the process of doing art the same way I love the process of writing, which is a good sign for my longevity in this pursuit. Originally, I was just going to get a certificate in Digital Art and Design, but now I’ve decided to get a whole-ass AA in Art. Specializing in Digital stuff, but also pursuing drawing and painting.
I am finding myself having to forgive myself for being a beginner in this. It took me 46 (at least) years to get somewhat good at writing. I’ve been doing art for a month. Less than, actually. I know how I want things to look, but my skills have not developed to the point where they come out like that. This is as it should be! If things were feeling too easy, I wouldn’t be learning. I’m getting good grades on all my assignments. I am exactly where I should be. But there’s a part of me that is like ‘I need to demonstrate immediate mastery of every new skill I try, or I am a loser. I am the only one this applies to.’ I need someone to sit next to me and spray me with water every time I say something self-deprecating. (Yes, I have been working on this in therapy). I will probably start sharing some of my art soon, probably on my Instagram account.
But I love being in school again. I like being on campus and sitting in class and working on a new set of skills. I’m into the whole thing. (Could academia be my kink?) I’ve started to make friends with my fellow students, many of whom are my age or older. Also, maybe this is news to you, but art seems to attract a lot of queer people? Who knew? Anyway, I love every part of this except getting up for 8:00 classes. Like, who invented 8:00 classes? They need to be punished.
And while I have turned my attention to art school, I have not neglected my writing. It is still my first love, and my primary vocation. I scheduled myself three days a week for writing. I write 2500 words every writing day, which gives me 7500 words a week or 30,000 words a month (at least). In January, I met this goal, even though I took a week off because I got sick (influenza can die in a fire), and I am on track for February too. I was a little afraid that my mental energy would fail me, but art and writing, while both creative, don’t use the same parts of my brain, so doing a lot of one doesn’t exhaust my capacity for the other. I have six days a week I work at either school, or writing both, and I take Sundays mostly off. I’m extremely glad I quit working at the library because that would not have fit into this schedule, despite the fact that I don’t have class the day I usually worked.
I’m almost finished with the rough draft of ‘World Enough and Time,’ my sci-fi romance that started with a silly idea and has gotten surprisingly deep. I have my next few projects lined up. Actually, I made a list of all the books I have solid ideas for, and it was, I shit you not, 37 books! So, because I am a planner, I scheduled out a potential work and release schedule and this will take me thirteen years. And part of me wants to post that list of deadlines and hold myself to it, and part of me is like, no, just write the books and don’t worry about deadlines. Clearly, I need my muse to take a vacation because I don’t need any more book ideas. But it was nice to get a realistic idea of what was possible. In 13 years, I will only be 64 (I can’t believe I used only in that sentence) and that isn’t really that old by any means. There are a lot of people in my writing group who are older than that, and still going strong.
Overall, I’m grateful for the way my 50’s seem to be shaping up. I’m not as young as I used to be, but physically, I’m just as capable as I was when I was 30. I’ve finally figured out how my brain works and created ways to be productive. I am wholly myself with everyone in my life, no longer trapped in the closet. I have great relationships with my close family and my kids and grandkids. In October, I will marry the love of my life, and there were many times over the years I despaired of that ever happening.
I would love to get away from financial stress, and really see my career take off, but I’m not really in control of whether or not that happens. The best thing I can do is put out the best work that I can, work that I am proud of, and I have been doing that. I’m looking into ways to not go as deeply in the hole as I have been (the art degree is part of that).
I have four books lined up to publish this year, including a short story collection that will be an exclusive for newsletter subscribers. Also, Curse of the Onyx Heart, the first book in The Circle and the Shadow, and epic fantasy series. In August, I plan to release Beneath the Silent Stars, which is Broken Stars book 5. Also this summer, I’ll be sending out the short story collection, which is titled Ghosts of Exile and other Stories. And then I hope to release World Enough and Time in December. That will bring my published works up to 10.   
I feel good about how things are going right now, even if things are not perfect. This is the life I have built for myself, and if I’d known it was coming during those long, dark, years, I would have realized that all the pain would one day be worth it.
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lifeafterthelayoff · 1 year
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DAY 55
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Drove by the old K-12 school in my hometown on my way back home.
That's right – kindergarten through 12th grade, 400 total students, all in the same building. You walked in at age five for your first day of school ever and stayed a student there until you walked out of the other end as a graduating senior.
No getting to know a new floor plan, no wondering where the bathrooms are. You knew because you always knew. We all ate in the same cafeteria. For many years, we all shared the same gymnasium.
Some of my classmates stayed local, becoming members of the community as adults. Their kids are in the same Boy Scouts troop that we were in. Some even own businesses on Main Street. The town's population hovers around 1,200 people, and it has for years.
After washing the gravel road dust off of my car at the self-service car wash at the north end of town, I told my daughter that we were driving by the school building.
"Does it look the same?" she asked.
"Pretty much," I said.
"Even the playground equipment?"
"Well, they got rid of the rusty, bone-crushing playground equipment of my youth. Other than that, it's the same. Here's the kindergarten, first, second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth grade rooms," I said as we drove slowly by.
I took a left turn so she could see the rest of the L-shaped building. "There's the old gym, and..."
This busted old upright piano sitting in someone's driveway across the street from the school interrupted my train of thought.
I continued, "Here's where the junior and senior high students shared classrooms. I took shop class in that part. And here's the new gym."
We turned the car around in the parking lot where I used to park my 1986 Mustang before going to class. We went back down the street and I said (as I often do), "I need to take a picture of that piano."
It's an odd sight, this piano. It looks pretty busted up. Having gotten my third job rejection in three days (including one a couple of hours prior to the school visit), I was beginning to think there was a metaphor in between the keys somewhere. You can see my school in the background of this pic.
I got back in the car, and pointed it north. Tomorrow's another day.
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godsavethequeens · 1 year
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Study Blog. Entry 001.
I am a high school student, grade 10, in India. I recently completed my first unit test. A few of my grades came in today. I was very happy, I worked really hard. I reached home at 3 PM. I am fasting for religious reasons, and have been organising and taking a big break so far. It often takes me a lot of time to recharge the energy I invested at school. But, it is energy that I do not regret investing. I got a 29/30 in English, and a 30/30 in Math. I am waiting for my Social Sciences (History, Political Science, economics and Geography, grouped as one subject and tested in the same manner) grades to come in tomorrow, and expect a 30/30 for the most part.
The result for the Boards (a standardised Indian exam given by Indian students in 10th grade and 12th grade) came out recently, and I must say, I am pretty inspired and motivated to see all these people's grades. It pushes me to do better.
I have often been scared to live the day that I become my version of the perfect girl. I am even more scared to live past that day when it comes. It is quite stressful, I feel, to live the life I live. Much to do, less to live.
Today was a good day. I plan to study for about 1.5 hours, for the computer exam I have tomorrow, and later, a walk in the park. I am fairly excited. I hope I ace it. For the past few weeks, I have been campaigning for the school senate election, although I did not end up winning. I am still quite sated. I cried for a couple of days, but I am perhaps grateful that I did not end up doing it. I was a prefect last year, so, I suppose, power must go into different hands this academic session, truly democratically.
~ 5:39 PM
9:16 PM
I just had dinner. I spent an hour walking at the park, chatting with my mom. I showered, did my skincare, and completed the review for the exam tomorrow, it took an hour in all. (I just studied really hard and have begun to vibe with the fact that the exam is tomorrow yay). I am now going to brush my teeth, meditate and pack my bag for tomorrow after getting my clothes for tomorrow ready.
only 11 days to go until the Summer break begins. It’s been really hot lately. I suppose there’s more on my mind these days too.
BRO I JUSTD JDEQKNVJKREANFHRE REALLY LOVE THAI FEELING.
I am really happy with my life.
eh sorry if this lame I don’t even care this makes me really happy man
goodnight.
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flower-gothic · 2 years
Text
a piece of his heart (eddie munson x fem!reader)
summary: you're leaving for college, but Eddie has something to give you before you go.
a/n: hiii I'm new to writing both Eddie fics and to writing self-insert in general but I just haven't been able to get this scenario out of my mind. Basically, Eddie Munson rules my brain right now, so much so that it's brought me back to writing fanfic again after many years. Hopefully someone enjoys it!
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After years of trying to escape the godforsaken town, now that the day approached when you were finally set to leave Hawkins for college, you found yourself strangely…sad. 
Though you supposed, perhaps, that it wasn’t so strange; after all, you grew up here–you went to school here, all your best and worst memories were here, you met your best friends here. Eddie was here. 
Eddie.
That was the real reason you found yourself struggling to pack your belongings into boxes, why you found your eyes stinging at the very mention of your nearing departure. It was for the incredible difficulty of leaving behind your very best friend. Eddie and you had been inseparable for years; since your freshman year, to be precise. A closeted metalhead yourself, he stumbled upon you learning to play a sloppy rendition of Iron Maiden’s “Number of the Beast” on your saxophone in the band room one day after school. The rest was history; you and Eddie simply understood one another. Despite his theatrical personality and flair for dramatics, which contrasted your reserved demeanor, despite his disdain for academics and your love of it, despite all your many differences, Eddie Munson was and always would be the person who knew you better than anyone else.
So the thought of moving seven-hundred miles away from that person to New York City for college was, of course, a daunting idea. 
You’d been avoiding him for the past couple weeks; sure, you knew these were your final days to be with one another, but it was just too painful. You felt this guilt gnawing at your heart: Eddie insisted that he didn’t want you to feel bad for moving away, that he was happy for you to escape this shithole town, but the smile he flashed you was always tinged with sadness, the kind he tried to hide from you but never could. You could read those big, chocolate-brown eyes of his like a book after four years of intimate friendship. 
Tomorrow, you would get into the car with your mother to drive to New York and you wouldn’t look back. So you knew you had to face the pain of seeing Eddie one last time–the pain of telling him goodbye. You knew that the pain you'd feel if you didn’t would be infinitely worse.
You knew Eddie was probably less than happy with you for making so little time for him these past few weeks, always citing the excuse of needing to pack or tie up other loose ends before your big departure. This is why it surprised you when Eddie met you with his signature grin as you appeared, uninvited, at the door of his trailer. 
“Hey, sweetheart! I was just about to call you,” he greeted.
“Hi, Eds. I’m really sorry I didn’t call first, but I just had to see you before…” you trailed off for a moment, swallowing the lump that had suddenly formed in your throat. “Can I come in?”
Eddie scoffed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and ushering you inside. “Like you have to ask.” 
You followed Eddie to his room, messy as ever. Rather than your usual plop onto his bed, you perched nervously at the edge. “How are you?” you asked, suddenly feeling awkward. Seeing his face again made you realize, all at once, how selfish you’d been to push him away before you left.
Eddie was silent for a moment, and the friendly grin from earlier slowly faded into a melancholy ghost of what it was. “Um, I’ve been better. I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but my best friend is about to ditch me for the big city while I hang around here and try 12th grade again. Go figure.” He chuckled, but it was hollow.
You looked at your feet, trying a laugh yourself, but it came out wrong. “Wow, she must be an asshole to leave a guy like you behind,” you replied. The lump from earlier was coming back and you felt the familiar sting of tears in your eyes. 
Eddie could sense the emotion in your voice as he tried to lighten the mood a little. “I know, right? Who could walk away from such a charming, funny, interesting young man such as myself? Not to mention handsome.” When you didn’t react to the quip, Eddie knelt in front of you, forcing himself into your view. “Hey, Y/N, look at me,” he said softly.
Eddie’s soft face went blurry as the tears threatened to spill over, and you turned away. “What?” You felt his fingers gently turn your face back towards his own. 
“Look at me, pretty girl,” he said, voice both gentle and stern. You forced your eyes to meet his. They were so full of kindness and adoration and maybe something more, something you’d forced yourself to shove away into a tiny, forbidden corner of your mind, but right now the emotions these eyes made you feel were threatening to boil over. “It’s going to be okay, that you’re leaving. You and me will always be best friends.” 
You nodded, hot tears now rolling down your cheeks. You noticed that Eddie’s own eyes were shiny and wet, though you knew better than to mention it. 
The ghost of a kiss touched your cheek, kissing away the tears that stained it. His lips were as soft and gentle as the rest of him. As the forbidden corner of your brain crept into the light, you found yourself wondering how those lips would feel upon your own. It was too late now, though. You stored the thought away again, packed it up like one of the boxes you would drive away with in the morning. 
Eddie stood suddenly, turning his back to you and rubbing at his eyes with the backs of his knuckles. You mourned the loss of his touch, but quickly noticed with curiosity that he was retrieving something from the top of his messy dresser. 
“I have something for you. A sort of going-away gift,” he stated with a shrug, sitting next to you on his bed. He handed you a small, black velvet box. “Well, go on! Open it.”
You did as he commanded. Inside, shinier and cleaner than you’d ever seen it, was a skull ring. Not just any skull ring, though: this was Eddie’s favorite ring, the one that went on his right middle finger. 
You looked at Eddie in confusion. “I-I don’t understand. You’re giving this to me?” you asked. Eddie never went anywhere without this ring. It was the one piece of his jewelry that he cared for the most, his lucky ring.
“Sorry I didn’t have the money to get you something new…but I just figured, if you’re leaving, I want you to have a piece of me. This ring is so special to me that, well, I don’t know. I wanted you to have a little bit of my heart to keep with you.” He shrugged as a deep red blush painted his cheeks. “Maybe it was stupid, I’m not sure. It probably wouldn’t even fit you, so–”
You cut him off by tackling the boy into a bear hug. “It’s perfect. Thank you so much. I’ll cherish it and keep it with me always, Eds.”
When he recovered from the shock of being knocked over, Eddie beamed. “That’s the same way I feel about you, Y/N. No matter how many miles away you are.”
***two weeks later***
Eddie awoke with a start when he realized it was Friday morning. That was the day your first letter was supposed to come. Though the two of you had been talking on the phone almost daily since you left, you’d promised Eddie with a roll of your eyes that you could be pen pals, too. He thought it would be fun, and you were unable to deny the shaggy-haired metalhead anything he asked for. 
Eddie padded out to the mailbox in nothing but his boxers and a ratty Hellfire t-shirt, all sleepiness leaving him when he recognized your handwriting on an envelope mixed in amongst the bills. He made his way quickly back to the trailer, throwing himself down on his bed and tearing the envelope open eagerly. He smiled as he saw both a sheet of paper and a polaroid photo fall from inside. 
He figured he ought to read the letter first, and his eyes began scanning the page with interest. 
Dear Eddie,
Well, here I am, writing you a letter even though I’m only a phone call away. You’re lucky I like you so much, because I can’t think of anyone else I’d waste the money for stamps on. I’m a broke college student now, after all.
New York is amazing. You’ve never seen anything like it, Eds. The buildings are taller than I thought possible, and there are so many people, all going everywhere. And everything is open 24/7! I can get a burrito in the middle of the night if I want. You’d love it here. 
I miss Hawkins, though. You never realize how much you take the peace and quiet for granted until it’s nowhere to be found. But mostly I just miss you. I can’t tell you how often something crazy will happen, and I look around to see your reaction just by instinct. I’ve made some friends here, but no one gets me quite like you do…
Anyway, I visited the Statue of Liberty. It was a lot smaller than the pictures make it seem, but somehow still huge. I’m not sure if that makes sense, but just look at the picture I sent you and you’ll see me there. 
Say hi to Wayne for me, okay? I miss and love you. Call soon.
Love,
Y/N
P.S. I’m keeping your heart close to mine, Eddie Munson.
Eddie’s brow furrowed in confusion at that last line, making a mental note to ask you about it when he called you next. He grabbed the polaroid that had floated to the ground when he tore open the envelope, observing it with a smile. There you stood in front of the huge, green statue, arms spread wide and huge cheesy grin on your face. He smiled with you.
Right before he could prop the photo up on his bedside table, something caught his attention. There was something tied around your neck, a necklace that he had never noticed before. He held the photo close to his face, squinting at the tiny pendant.
It hit Eddie suddenly as he made out the tiny shape of a skull ring. Tied around a leather strap that hung from your neck was his favorite ring.  
Even though you were seven-hundred miles away, a little piece of Eddie was always right there–always right by your heart.
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americasmarauders · 3 years
Note
What about ....
“i’m not worthy of anybody’s love.” “that’s not true, you’re worthy of mine.” followed by the lover breaking eye-contact… + a love confession
Followed with tentative kisses in the dark
With Jason Todd x reader ❤❤❤❤❤
Lots of love xoxo
did this get completly out of hand? yes, yes it did. It was supposed to be short and sweet, but suddenly I had 12 pages of angst ready to make their way into the world. 
I’m so sorry it took so long, elle, life got in my way, but now you have like, 6k+ words to make up for it. I really hope you like it.
warnings: completly unedited, sorry for the typos :))
words: 6,856
masterlist #
#
Aged 14, sometime in September.
Mason Anderson was the biggest dick she had ever met. He was petty and jealous and he picked on her just because. She just wanted peace, quietly resolving  the homework she had spent an entire week working on. The library was empty, safe for a couple of other students when he barged in and robbed her of her papers. 
He claimed he needed it more than her, he was the one almost flunking out of the class. She demanded her homework back, but he ran towards the boy’s bathroom with her work. It wasn’t the first time that sullen feeling of despair had been planted on her by Mason Anderson, it still didn’t make it any easier. 
She sat in front of the boys bathroom, hugging her knees in an attempt to find comfort. She kept thinking that she could do it again, she had done it once, theoretically it would be faster to do it a second time. Light footsteps echoed through the hall, her eyes found their way to the source of the noise. 
Jason Todd was a tiny kid with a big brain and an even bigger heart. He had helped her with English more times than she cared to admit. Sometimes she would see him walking towards the alley near the Academy, holding an extra package of chips to the little kid that stayed there sometimes. She liked Jason Todd, considering him the only alley she had inside the cold walls of the Gotham Academy. 
“What’re you doing here?” he asked, delicately, sitting beside her. “I thought you were gonna finish Statam’s paper today.”
“Mason Anderson stole it,” her eyes were cast downwards, looking at the seams of the floor with an almost inhuman interest. “He wanted to copy it, and I wouldn’t let him so he decided to flush down the toilet instead.”
“I’m sorry,” he muttered to her, sitting next to her on the floor. 
“It’s okay,” she shook her head, stretching her legs in front of her. “I just,” she sighed, trying to find the words, “I spent one week working on that, and I really needed the grade, you know? But he just didn’t care, he just thought of himself.”
Jason looked at her, softly. His eyes held a certain fire behind them, something she could never really describe what it was. It was entrancing, it calmed the pace of her heart.  He didn’t say anything before getting up and marching towards the boys bathroom. 
She didn’t hear anything going on inside, her mind imagining all sorts of scenarios where Jason would emerge from the bathroom beaten and defeated, Mason walking out completely victorious, with a shiny top grade Literature paper in hand. Her blood boiled at the image, more so than it did before. She got up from the ground, determined to help Jason win the fight, even if her papers were already down the plumbing. 
But the door flung open, her friend walking out calmly, clutching her homework delicately. He offered her a smile, and as the door closed behind Jason she could see Mason on the ground gripping his nose in pain. 
“Here,” the papers were completely dry to the touch, her confusion deepening. “He was copyin’ it.”
“I can’t believe you got this back,” she whispered, shaking her head in disbelief. “I thought… I thought I'd have to redo it.”
“Nah,” he smiled shyly, “I would’ve helped ya.”
“I can’t really depend on you for everything, Jason,” she replied politely. “It’s not fair.”
“I got your back,” he affirmed, “ya don’t need to worry.”
And it meant the world to her that he did. 
#
#
Aged 16, October 12th. 
Jason Todd and her became friends after the Mason Anderson incident. She didn’t know what Jason had said to him, what had he done, all she knew was that Mason never bothered her again after that. 
It was the night of her 16th birthday. It was late, probably past 3 in the morning when Jason carefully landed on the fire escape that led to her bedroom. He carefully carried a small box, wrapped neatly with a blue bow. He had chosen the gift lovingly, his heart warm with her. Jason hadn’t expected her to be such an integral part of his life, but just as quietly as she arrived, she placed herself in his heart permanently. She was his friend, true friend, she didn’t expect anything other than his company and support, something he was glad to provide. 
His knuckles lightly grazed her window, making the softest noise.  Her shades were partially open, he could see her body lying comfortably on her bed. She moved slightly, her body turning towards the window. Her hands rubbed her eyes delicately, seeing Jason smile awkwardly at her. She got up and dragged her feet towards him, opening her window to him. 
“What’re you doing here?” her voice was slurred, intoxicated with sleep. 
“You know, you should really lock your windows,” he commented, “Gotham’s a dangerous city.”
“Jay,” she warned, “what’re you doing here? It’s…”she searched for her clock, “fuck, 3 in the morning.”
“It’s your birthday,” he responded clearly, as if it was the most obvious reason why he was on her fire escape, on a cold October night only wearing a light jacket.
She blinked at his blunt response, confused on what to say to him. “You’ll see me tomorrow, Jay, I don’t understand why’d you come all this way just to see me.”
“Because it’s you,” he shrugged, stepping into her bedroom silently. “You really thought I wouldn’t see you on your birthday?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered, looking down at her feet. A soft breeze came in through the window sending shivers down her spine. Jason closed the window for her and she sent a silent thank you towards his way. “I thought you wouldn’t bother.”
“Well,” he extended the little box to her. Her fingers brushed on his softly, a shock sent on his skin at the touch, “I couldn’t not see you.”
Her hands hugged the box carefully, hesitant on what to do with what was given to her. “Open it,” he urged her. 
She eyed him suspiciously, undoing carefully the blue bow that decorated the gift. Opening the box, a tiny robin pendant next to two tiny stones pendants, an opal and an onyx: her birthstone and his. “Wow,” she breathed out, her heart racing inside her chest. Suddenly, she didn’t feel sleepy anymore. “Jason, this is… You didn’t have to.”
“Of course I had,” he stated, his eyes soft and loving, lingering on her more than they should. “You mean a lot to me, darling.”
Her eyes glinted underneath the pale moonlight streaming through the half closed curtains of her room. Jason’s breath hitched quietly at the sight of her, disheveled and sleepy and yet the most perfect person to grace his life. She was at a loss for words for a few moments, opening and closing her mouth, not knowing how to react. Her eyes trailed frenetically over the pendants, trying to find meaning in those.
“Why a robin?” the inquiry startled Jason. He wasn’t expecting to explain himself, much less explain why he had given her a robin pendant. She had no clue what he did when the night fell, who Bruce actually was and he intended to keep her in the dark about that aspect of his life. She didn’t need to know anyway, and telling her would only put her in danger. That was what Bruce made her believe. 
“It reminded me of you,” he answered, simply, his eyes fixated on her angelic face. 
It wasn’t untrue. Robins were friendly and protected over, birds that should never be harmed. Jason made sure of that, he had her back, always, and he knew she had his. But mostly, he wanted her to have a piece of him everywhere she went. If something were to happen, he wanted to guarantee he wouldn’t be a footnote in her life. What a magnificent life that would be, he knew.
Her eyes ran on his face, looking for a hint that he wasn’t sincere, that he was just messing with her. The thought was more heartbreaking than she anticipated. She found nothing malicious in his face, in his eyes, and smiled back at him. “Thank you, Jay,” she kissed his cheek delicately, her lips barely brushing his skin. It was enough to send both of them into a frenzy of feelings, a thousand thoughts running through their heads. 
“Here,” he extended his hands, his eyes clear and full of emotion for her, “I’ll put it on for you.”
She handed him the box, turning around so he could clasp the hook of the necklace. Jason was considerably smaller than her - she guessed it was because of the years of malnutrition he endured when he lived on the streets - so she sat on her bed to meet his height. His fingers brushed slightly at the back of her neck, sending goosebumps on her body.
It was when she turned to look at him again that she realized that maybe Jason wasn’t just a friend to her. Maybe the interest she had in Jason, or how her heart raced when she saw him for the first time in the day weren’t because he was her friend. Maybe it was because she had decided to love him with all her soul. 
#
#
Aged 16, April 28th.
It was ironic how sunny it was in Gotham that day. It was like nothing had happened, the world hadn’t gotten the memo that it was supposed to be gloomy and sad outside, to match the pain she felt inside. 
On the deep green grass of Gotham cemetery, stood her and Jason’s family, listening to a priest preach something meaningless to her. Nothing mattered to her anymore, her friend, best friend, was buried deep into the earth, 6 feet under. She would never get to see him again, hear his laugh, take in his smile. She would never have another birthday with him, give him his favorite books, tell him she loved him. Her eyes were fixed on the fresh dirt lain over his shiny coffin, her hand fidgeting on the robin pendant Jason had gifted mer  months before. It wasn’t an open casket, she couldn’t even see him for the last time. 
The call was the most confusing moment she had ever gone through. He didn't even tell her he was going after his mom. He didn’t even get to explain that to her. Jason just burst through her window late at night, saying he was leaving Gotham for a few weeks, anger seeping through his pores and contaminating the room. His knuckles were badly bruised, as her fingertips lightly brushed he hissed. She didn’t question him, it didn’t even go through her head. He had said he wanted to find a part of him, and she nodded, wishing him luck. 
Looking back, she wished she had begged him to stay, to find that part of him in Gotham, with her away from the perils of foreign bombs. Tears sprouted in her eyes as the thought passed through her head. It wasn’t her fault, she couldn’t predict a tragedy would have happened. It had become a mantra to her, and sometimes repeating it to herself didn’t help at all.
Bruce Wayne stood next to her, stoic, his face stony. It almost didn’t look like he had lost a son. But she saw how his jaw tensed, how it was similar to when Jason was upset and didn’t want to tell her about it. She could see how broken he was inside, how angry and desperate. She felt that too. 
The priest stopped talking and the four people standing on that lawn let out a stuck breath of relief. Jason’s brother approached his Father, walking away from her. She stared at the stone, cold like Jason’s body, with the engrave ‘Jason Todd, beloved son and friend’. It didn’t make justice to what Jason actually was, he was much more than just a son and a friend, but it was what they used to describe him. If Jason had decided what his epitaph would be, surely would be a dramatic quote from Shakespeare. 
Her name was called out in a posh british accent and she turned toward the person. What she saw was an older gentleman, holding a black umbrella to protect his baldness from the sun. A thin mustache hung over his upper lip, molded into a sad frown. “I’m Alfred Pennyworth. Master Jason talked a lot about you,” he commented with his left hand behind his back.
“All good things, I hope?” she joked quietly, her eyes trailed to her black shoes, wet grass glued to the sides of it. 
“The best things, I assure,” his voice was firm and calm, his accent oozed her security, something she was eager to cling on. He reached for the inner pocket of his blazer, pulling a crisp white card. She furrowed her eyebrows, accepting the card. On it, it had Alfred’s name, his profession underneath and a phone number. “If you ever find yourself needing anything, I’ll be happy to help.”
She nodded, her thumb lightly brushing the expensive paper on her hand. “Thank you Mister Pennyworth,” her eyes found the old man, the wrinkles around it making his stern stance seem gentler. “Thank you.”
“Would you like to come over for some tea?” he offered. “I’m sure Master Bruce wouldn’t mind having his son’s friend over.”
She wanted to, a force inside her compelled her to accept his offer. But her heart was broken, and she didn’t know if she was ready to enter what used to be Jason’s home so fast after he was buried. At the same time, maybe she didn’t have the nerve to say no to such a kind person. “I--,” she hesitated, “okay, I’ll have some tea.”
#
#
Aged 18, mid-August.
“I don’t know what to do, Alfred,” her hands fiddling with the necklace Jason had given her long ago. “It feels like I’m at a crossroads and every sign points to the direction my heart doesn’t want to go.”
The old butler poured her mint tea - her favorite, as he had learned over the weekly visits she paid him - calmly and firmly as she ranted. “What is holding you back?”
She looked at Alfred, her eyes confused at the question. She hadn’t lingered on the fact of why she didn’t want to accept the scholarship on Metropolis. Her brain told her it was only logical, she would miss her parents, her weekly meeting with Alfred, her hometown. But Alfred was always one step ahead, he had a sixth sense as she had come to learn. “You know,” she replied softly, her eyes lingering on the beautiful teacup in front of her. 
He said her name, getting her attention. “Master Jason isn’t here anymore,” he stated simply, laying cookies on her plate, “you don’t have to stay behind for him.”
“I know,” she picked up the spoon and twirled it between her fingers. “But,” she hesitated, not knowing how to phrase her feelings, “Alfred, I can’t even think of it. I can’t wrap my brain around leaving him.”
“You are not leaving him,” his voice was calm and gentle, softening her panic. “You are moving on.”
She shook her head, her eyes shut close tightly. “It doesn’t feel like it,” she whispered, “I feel like I’m meant to be here, Alfred. I can’t really explain it.”
“Well, if you do decide to stay in Gotham, I hope we can continue our weekly teas,” Alfred said, a tone of hope in his voice. 
She smiled at him, her eyes filled with kindness. “If I do decide to stay, I’d love to keep our weekly teas,” her smile stayed as she uttered the words. “I appreciate our time together, Alfred.”
“I’m honored,” he said to her, bringing the teacup to his lips.
Heavy footsteps sounded behind her and she turned around to see who it was. Turning around, her hand bringing the teacup to her lips, she saw a disheveled Bruce Wayne walking towards her. His eyes were barely opened, prominent bags under his eyes cast a shadow on his features. His tie hung untied on his neck, his shirt over his pants, the sleeves folded up to his elbows. It was a stark contrast from the Bruce Wayne she had seen at Jason's funeral, two years back, the one she saw frequently splattered on the news front pages.  
“Oh,” he stopped on his tracks, his hands falling limply to his sides. His jaw tensed and, suddenly, a mask fell on his face, the vulnerability he displayed a few seconds before gone. He wasn’t anymore Bruce, a guy who had just woken up and wanted something from the kitchen of his oversized home, he was the Bruce Wayne, now. The velocity of the transformation haunted her. “I didn’t realize we had visitors.”
She rested the teacup pack on the counter, and got up from the stool. “I’m so sorry Mr. Wayne,” she muttered, extending her hand, introducing herself. “I am, was, Jason’s friend.”
“Yes, yes,” he nodded, “I remember you.”
Alfred looked pointenly at Bruce as pulled a mug from a cabinet. He poured coffee for himself, and leaned against the counter next to Alfred. She stood there next to her stool, paralyzed in his presence. Everytime she was present in Wayne Manor, Bruce was either too busy to ever grace them with his presence, or away on some business trip she never bothered to ask what for. “We have weekly teas, Master Bruce,” Alfred said, his tone laced with something deeper than announcing their weekly traditions. 
Bruce’s jaw tightened somehow and his blue eyes rested on her. Her eyes drifted to her teacup, her tea getting cold. She was itching to grab it and drink it, but she felt uncomfortable even moving a inch from her place, much less feeling the liberty to resume her previous behavior. “Really?” his eyebrows shot up, his head tilting slightly. “Please, seat, pretend I’m not here.”
She hesitated before sitting back down. Her hands hugged her teacup, the warmth of it seeping through her skin. It was hard to pretend he was not there next to her, looking at her with judging eyes. She wondered if he remembered her from the funeral, if he had thought of her when he was thinking of Jason’s legacy, what his son had left behind. Her eyes looked up at Bruce before quickly darting back down to her tea, “Yeah, I don’t really wanna go to Metropolis,” she whispered, resuming her previous conversation with Alfred. The air in the kitchen was tense and awkward, she couldn’t look any of them men in the room in the eyes. 
“I’m certain Gotham U will admit you,” Alfred reassured her, “You’re a brilliant person, they’d be fools to let you go.”
“Thank you, Alfred,” her eyes were focused on the tea, like it was the most important thing in that kitchen. “They usually don’t take this long to send the letters, it’s making me nervous.”
“Gotham U, huh?” Bruce chipped in. “What’s your major?”
She looked expantly at Alfred, trying to see if he knew any of Bruce’s intentions. But she often forgot how impassive Alfred was, how in control of his emotions he was, something she lacked. He didn’t show her anything, she assumed he knew of something, like usually. “Applied physics,” she responded, quietly. 
“Wow,” Bruce breathed out, “impressive.”
She offered him an awkward smile in return. It was hard to find a response to the reaction of others when they became aware of her major. It was highly uncommon, and usually those who followed that path were men. When people discovered what she wanted to do with her life, they almost always reacted like they had found an unicorn.
“Well, when you do graduate, look for me, I can help you get a job,” Bruce politely offered, his tone kind. She looked up at him for the first time, his expression almost fatherly. 
“Thank you Mr. Wayne, that’s very kind of you,” she bored her head, looking down at her tea once again. 
His phone rang, and he picked it up from his pocket. Her eyes trailed over to his expression, his jaw once again tense. “You’re welcome,” he replied, feigning happiness and comfort. “If you’ll excuse me,” he left the kitchen in broad steps, his shoulders tense and determined. 
That was the first time she came to the conclusion that Bruce Wayne was a strange man. 
#
#
Aged 22, end of May.
College was an excruciating experience, but finally she had left it all behind. With her diploma in hands, she finally felt a small semblance of freedom, something she had longed when isinde the four walls of her old dorm in Gotham U. 
She stepped into the ground floor of Wayne towers, her shoes clicking nervously on the floor. She had made sure to dress properly to meet Bruce Wayne, unsure of what he’d think if she showed up dressed like a broke college student, something that she very much was. It was the mentality of fake it till you make it, aim a bit higher and maybe you’ll get there. She desperately wished she’d get there.
One of the receptionists let her in, indicating the floor in which she should go to. Her hands sweat gripping the folder with her recommendations and her resume, she gulped looking at the elevator intently. Her free hand found its way to the tiny robin gently resting on her neck. She wished Jason was there to help her, give her tips on what to say to his Father to make him glad, and what to avoid doing so that he’d hire her. She could imagine him if she closed her eyes, next to her, barely taller than her, smiling at her wishing her good luck. The elevator dinged, bringing her back to reality. Jason wasn’t next to her, and she didn’t have anyone to give her tips on what to say to her potential boss. She was alone, just like she had been for six long years. 
In spite of the hundred floors of the building - quite literally - the elevator ride was fast. When the doors opened, it revealed a small greeting room, with a couple of couches and a tall window illuminating it. She eyed directly in front of her, the double doors with a tiny plaque with the name Bruce Wayne engraved on it. Her eyes lingered on it for a couple of moments, as she walked towards the lonesome couch next to the big window. She took a deep breath, trying to calm the beating heart. She wondered if Bruce was already inside the room, if he remembered what he had offered to her all those years ago, or if he had just been polite and did not plan on following with it at all. 
After that strange meeting with him four years back, she had barely seen him again. A couple of times she had seen a shadow passing through the corridors while she was heading out of the Manor, someone she assumed for the sake of her mental health it was Bruce Wayne and not a ghost. The notion that he was a strange man only intensified, adding the perception that he was hiding something. She knew he was a good actor, but she could see tiny cracks and slips, an ability gained from years of loneliness. It was hard to say what it was that he was keeping a secret from everyone, but there was something there. 
Her name was called and she saw Bruce Wayne standing underneath the frame of the double doors that lead to his office. She got up promptly and walked towards him, her grip on her folder tight. His hand was extended and she shook it professionally, pretending like she wasn’t panicking inside. 
“I have someone I’d like for you to meet,” he stated, guiding her inside his office. The office was probably four times bigger than the small room she had stayed previously, the large windows providing a beautiful view from Gotham. You could almost pretend it was a normal city looking out from that window. “This,”  he motioned to the man sitting on a cozy nook in the back of the room, “is Lucius Fox.”
The man was big and well built, his round glasses standing on the tip of his nose. He smiled at her, crinkles forming beside his eyes. His hand found his glasses, taking them off and putting them in his pocket. “Nice to meet you, Miss. mr. Wayne has talked a lot about you,” he stated, his hand extended for her to take it. 
She looked back at Bruce, confused. After all, he remembered her and he remembered his offer. She turned back to Lucius and shook his hand, a determined expression on her face. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Fox.”
“Lucius Fox is the head of our R&D department, and has agreed to take you as his personal apprentice,” Bruce explained. 
Shock overcame her, her eyes wide. She looked between Lucius’ kind smile and Bruce’s stoic stance, unable to believe the opportunity was real. “Really?” she uttered incredulously. 
“I have some personal projects and I’d very much need the help,” Lucius explained, calmly. “Mr. Wayne has talked highly of you, I’m eager to see what you’re capable of doing.”
“I--,” she shook her head, trying to get rid of the hesitation, “thank you, sir.”
“You’re welcome,” Bruce responded, a small smile gracing his lips. “I’m sure you’ll do great.”
#
#
Aged 24, April 26th.
The humid air of the cave made sweat drip down her face as she tinkered away with a broken gadget she had designed for Bruce’s night time activities, as she had so dearly called it. 
It was a new development, the cave and the capes and the vigilantism. The two years she invested working with Lucius all served a greater purpose to Bruce. She was to be the next Lucius Fox, help provide Batman, or rather Bruce - in her head it was still confusing to assume that the guy who had given her a job was the ‘Dark Knight’ - with gadgets capable of doing everything that his physical capabilities couldn’t. Lucius was old and reaching retirement, and even if he loved his job, he was reaching his limit. She was beyond grateful for his guidance, she had learned so much. But he had left her a fucking weird job. There was no other way to describe it. 
The cave was quiet, Bruce had left sometime before, she could only hear Alfred quietly talking to Bruce through the comms and the drip-drip of water falling from the ceiling and hitting the small lake underneath her. She had settled in a little abandoned nook, her tools all scattered on top of her table. She rested the screw driver she was working with on the table, lifting the magnifying lens. She rubbed her face, tired of looking towards the tiny malfunctioning screen.
Her hands remained on her face, concealing her emotions. The robin pendant always felt especially heavy on the 26th of April. It had been 8 years since she had seen Jason, and as pathetic as it sounded, she never really got over the loss of him. They always felt particularly lost, she couldn’t focus on anything other than him, running circles around any problem presented to her. Looking at the gadget, it felt nearly impossible to find a solution to it, her mind foggy with sadness and grief that she could never really shake off, even with years between her and the day he had died. 
The knowledge that Bruce kept everything as Jason had left, and even made a little homage to his Robin days in a secret corner of the cave, hidden from view, was heavy in her heart. She struggled to keep her eyes trailed to her task and not at the memory of Jason. She took a sharp breath, trying desperately to sew herself together. It was truly pathetic how much it still affected her, how open the wound still was. 
A sharp motor sound echoed through the walls of the cave, disturbing the few bats that hung from the ceiling. A guy built like a fucking brick wall parked his bike on the platform, taking long strides towards where Alfred stood. He adorned a cracked red helmet that glistened in the white lights that illuminated the pathway. His heavy footsteps echoed through, her eyes unable to escape from him. She approached silently, praying that that loose panel near the little stairs that lead to the main computer wouldn’t scratch underneath her weight. 
“Where the fuck is Bruce?” he growled, his hands balled into fists next to him. His leather jacket was worn and old, its sleeves bunched up near his elbow, exposing his veiny forearms. The cracked part of the helmet revealed his blue eyes, sparkling in a familiar way. It tugged her heartstrings, her hand instinctively went to her robin. It couldn’t be, Jason was dead. 
“He’s on patrol, Master Jason,” Alfred said calmly, his eyes trailed to the screens in front of him. Alfred acted like this man’s fits of anger were completely normal. 
Her brain repeated that it wasn’t Jason, it was a mere coincidence that this man’s name was the same as her dead best friend’s. Jason was a tiny and scrawny kid, he wasn’t tall and thick like this man. Jason wasn’t bitter and prone to anger fits, even if he was angry most of the time. He was silent and kind and sweet, this man looked to be the opposite of it. 
“He promised, Alfred, where is he?” he growled, his fist slamming on the table. “He fucking promised.”
“I’m sure he’ll arrive soon, if you’d like to wait,” Alfred motioned to the medical bay, the gurney sitting there on its lonesome. The man huffed, marching to the gurney, otherwise ignoring her presence a few feet away. 
She approached Alfred quietly. “Who was that?” her voice laced with curiosity and fear. 
Alfred looked at her serenely, knowing something she didn’t. He smiled at her, teh crinkles around his eyes appearing generously. “Why don’t you find out?,” he responded to her camly. 
She took it as an order, and made her way towards the small infirmary area. Her footsteps were light and determined, her hand clutching the robbing resting on her chest tightly. Her brain ran over scenarios on how likely it was that this person had almost every physical attribute to her best friend Jason, if he had taken steroids for the past 8 years. It wasn’t likely, but in light of her new knowledge, of how close the supernatural was to her, it was very much possible. 
“Do you want me to take a look?” she asked quietly, shifting the weight from her heels to the tips of her toes. She felt so small in his presence, something she didn’t feel with Bruce, oddly. Maybe it was because Bruce didn’t give off such menacing vibes when he was near her, or maybe it was because her brain was unconsciously comparing this man to her Jason, who had always been smaller than her. “At the helmet, I mean.”
He eyed her surgically, analyzing everything about her. His eyes rested on her pendants, widening slightly in recognition. It took almost everything in her to control her beating heart, to control her brain trying to say that in fact that man before her was her Jason, and it wasn’t her brain playing tricks on her. 
He gently took his helmet off, revealing his crisp black hair cooly laying on his forehead. His eyes focused on the helmet, his arms extended to give it to her gently. Her eyes would leave his face, a face she had longed to see for eight excruciatingly long years. His eyes had remained the same, after all: kind and sweet. His face, however, told a story of hardships and pain, hardened by whatever he had been through all these years. She didn’t know how to feel, if she should feel betrayed he hadn't trusted her enough to say that he was alive, that he was six feet under anymore, or if she should feel elated that Jason was alive and she could finally tell him all the things she wanted to.
Her fingers brushed him slightly, as she picked up the broken helmet from his hands. His hands still felt the same, her heart noticed, picking up a beat. She looked at the crack that exposed half of his face, the electrical parts fizzling dangerously. Her eyes focused on Jason once again, her lips shut painfully. The tears that came to her eyes were inevitable, trembling fingers reaching at her robin pendant, clutching it tightly. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
“Don’t,” he shook his head gently, “it’s not your fault.”
She could see he wanted to touch her, but something held him back. She wouldn’t find out what until much later.  
#
#
Aged 24, August 16th. 
Jason had promised her he would show up, and he never broke his promises. That was what she repeated to herself, late at night. She had prepared everything for his birthday, bought a present for him and baked a cake. She had said that he was supposed to appear at seven. It was well past midnight, the cake had found its way back to the fridge, the present was back in her closet, and he hadn’t showed up yet. 
A part of her kept telling her to give up, her best friend had stood her up: Jason changed fundamentally, he wasn’t the same boy he was when she met him and it was foolish to hang on to that notion; it was perfectly plausible that he had the habit of breaking promises now.  But she was well aware of that, she saw it in the tiny things how much Jason was transformed, it still didn’t change the fact that she knew he valued loyalty above all else, and that included loyalty to his words. He wouldn’t break his promise to her. 
She changed out of the cute dress she was wearing, feeling foolish and sad that she was about to give up most of the hope that he would show up. Her pyjamas welcomed her comfortably, a safe space to let the heartbreak settle on her. He won’t break his promise, she repeated mentally, he won’t. The mantra did little to soothe the growing dread inside her, the notion that maybe she didn’t know him as well as she did. That he didn’t tell her everything that day, that he didn’t trust her anymore. It hurt more than she anticipated. 
Sleep was almost consuming her when she heard a loud clang outside her bedroom. She shook awake, throwing the covers off her instinctively. Her hand grabbed the baseball bat that rested beside her bed, bringing it up and close to her. With slow steps, she approached the window. Her fear settled when she saw the familiar red helmet staring back at her, begging to let him in. She dropped the bat on the floor, opening the window. 
He got in her room awkwardly, struggling to pass his huge frame through a tiny space. She reached to help him, offering her hands. He took them, butterflies running amok on her tummy. “You’re late,” she commented, trying to mask the hurt in her voice. 
“I know,” he said, taking off his helmet and dropping it on top of her bed. “I’m sorry.”
She hummed looking at him underneath the moonlight seeping through her window. She hadn’t gotten used to how big he became, and how smaller she felt in his presence. She was by no means a small woman, but his entire being could encapsulate her with a simple hug, and not the other way around like it used to be. “Why are you late?” she moved to sit on the bed, the helmet rolling off the bed delicately. 
He looked at her, sitting down next to her gently. “I don’t know,” he answered, rubbing his hands together, his elbows resting on his thighs. 
“Why do I feel like you’re not being honest with me?” her head tilted, looking at his beautiful profile. There was a scar connecting his right temple to the corner of his upper lip, and it made him even more beautiful than he already was. He fascinated her to no end, his brain, his looks, his entire being was what made her keep going, the light on the end of her tunnel. 
His eyes trailed over her face, looking for something she guessed he wouldn’t find. “Why are you always so nice to me?”
“What do you mean, Jason,” she breathed out, confused at the inquiry. “I’m your friend, I’m supposed to be nice to you.”
“No, you’re not,” he shook his head, his hands balled into fists and his eyes closed. “You’re not supposed to be kind to me,” he got up, his back towards her.
“Stop it, Jason, you’re scaring me,” she whispered, her voice shaking a bit. 
“You’re supposed to be angry at me. I abandoned you, left you alone, and when I came back I didn’t tell you, I didn’t look for you,” he continued, trying to manipulate her emotions.
“Why are you saying these things, Jason, they’re not true,” she got up, her voice no longer shaking, determined and focused. 
“Because I don’t deserve it,” he turned to her, his eyes tortured and sad. “I don’t deserve your kindness and friendship. I’m not worthy of it.”
“Jay, I--” she started, but Jason interrupted her. 
“Don’t, please. I’m not worthy of anyone’s love,” his voice was heavy with emotion. She discovered that Jason was often ruled by two main emotions: sadness and anger. In that moment, she could only see those in him and a part of her broke.
“That’s not true, you’re worthy of mine,” her voice was so honest and raw, it caught Jason by surprise. She didn’t know what he expected out of her at that moment, maybe to give in to his spiral of bad thoughts and self flagellation, but she refused to let him believe those awful things. “Jason, you really don't know?”
He remained in silence, his eyes wide and shocked, focused on the ground. His jaw was tense and his hands balled into fists tightly. She took a hesitant step towards him, reaching for his hands. They relaxed under her touch and she threaded her fingers through his. It wasn’t hard to notice how perfectly they fit with each other, like to halves of a whole. “I’ve loved you ever since I was 14 and you marched into the boys bathroom to get my lit homework back from Mason Anderson,” she whispered, her eyes focused on his face, while his were focused on their hands together. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, I’m so sorry it took me so long to say it, Jay. But I can’t let you believe all those horrible things you said. Not when I love you more than anything in this world.”
He stayed silent for a couple of moments, her heart beating erratically inside her chest, fearing she had screwed up their friendship for good. In a way, it was worst to know he was out there and didn't want to speak to her because she dared to tell him about her love for him. “Please say something,” she begged him quietly. 
His eyes finally found hers, his hands breaking the link they formed. He rested his hands on her cheeks gently, and she dared say, lovingly. Her heart started beating excitedly, the fear slowly dissipating as his gaze got more intense. 
His lips brushed against hers, her eyes fluttering closed at the contact. He kissed her gently, a love delicate and fragile, just acknowledged between them both. His grip on her was firm, his thumb grazing delicately on her cheekbones. Her hands thread through his soft hair, still slightly humid from the sweat caused by the helmet. The air was charged with want, tentative kiss toeing the line between what it was and something more. 
She wished to stay like that forever. She prayed to  whatever was out there in the Universe, to allow her that happiness. To stay kissing her love tentatively in the dark for as long as she could, as long as he’d let her. 
Jason broke the kiss, his forehead resting on hers. His fingers found their way to the back of her head, cupping it softly. “I love you,” he whispered, his lips almost brushing with hers. She reached for his lips once again, like a magnet finding its match. “I love you so much,” he reassured.
They kissed once again, not intending to break apart any time soon. 
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187days · 11 months
Text
Day Forty-One
Today was PSAT day, so our first two blocks were slightly longer than usual to accomodate that. I have prep during Block 1, so I loved having a bit of extra time to get stuff done, especially because I had a meeting with Dean 1 about a new course one of the social studies teachers has next quarter. And I think my classes went well, too, which is never a certainty on a day with an atypical schedule; sometimes, even a slight change can be disregulating, but today seemed to be fine.
Global Studies got competitive when it came to going over the annotation on the major sects in Christianity; I always ask students to tell me what they learned or ask questions about what they read, and my two middle sections always have the most to say, so I challenged students in the first and last sections to match them. They did not disappoint! So that was cool. And, afterwards, they did some citation practice, researching important Christian holidays and milestone events. They'll share that out tomorrow.
My APGOV students and I discussed Federalist 70, and then I had them look up the constitutional amendments related to the presidency (12th, 20th, 22nd, and 25th) and share what they'd learned. I also went over powers of the vice presidency, and assigned a reading about the federal bureaucracy as homework to get them ready for my next lesson.
I have several meetings tomorrow, so I stayed late to get my grading and stuff done this afternoon. I ended up chatting with a former student who's working as a sub, and helping the Robotics club by loaning them my giant box of sharpies to label stuff. Go me!
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peaches-writes · 4 years
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naturally
description: there’s something about bang chan, even if he’s not some senior crush you’ve pined over from the very beginning or a friend you’ve known forever, that just makes realizing that you’re in love with him as something that feels right member: chan genre: fluff, slice of life, high school au, college au, friends to lovers au, sports au (off season universe), campus dj au (if u squint), slow burn (?), fem reader word count: 12k wtf warning: explicit language, alcohol, a plot that makes zero sense note: idk what this is it’s so messy anw + @skzwriternet​
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Chan came in your life quite late—both literally and figuratively.
The two of you were in the 12th grade when you met, at a time when all everyone cared about were getting into their respective dream universities and establishing a solid group of friends to call back once they’re already on their separate ways. He got stuck in traffic that day and wasn’t allowed entry past the school gates at first because he didn’t get his uniform on time while you and your group of friends were on time in class, completely unexpecting of a new addition to the group as you all worried about the upcoming entrance exams.
“Oh, look at that, new kid.” Minho nudged your elbow and whispered loudly close to you that day, gesturing to the spaces between the curtains of the window facing the hallway. Outside, Chan was being ushered to the faculty room at the other end of the hall by a teacher, head hung low in embarrassment that he stood out with his black hoodie and sweatpants. “And no uniform on the first day—I feel like we should adopt him!”
You didn’t pay much attention to it at first, shrugging before returning to your messy Homeroom notes. An election was to be held at the end of the week and maybe, just maybe, you were thinking about it. “A bit risky, don’t you think? Right before the exams.” You mused out loud, more to the classroom elections than to the transferee.
“Do you think we’ll get him?” Minho asked anyway despite the lack of interest in your tone, leaning on your side of the shared table with a propped up elbow. “Or will Dahyun and Bam’s class next door?”
The answer was given to Minho over five minutes later, when the gentle sound of your Homeroom adviser’s voice was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Excuse me, good morning, Ms. Park!” The faculty head, Mrs. Liu, peered in your room that day with Chan trailing behind with curious eyes. “I’m so sorry for the interruption but your transfer student is now here!”
In front of the classroom, Ms. Park welcomed Chan with a smile and clasped hands. “Ah yes, Bang Chan, finally! Come on in!”
Chan introduced himself in awkward giggles and a slight miscalculated step when he didn’t immediately see the elevated area separating the black board and the first row of desks. “Hi, I’m eighteen-year-old student Bang Chan and I moved here from Sydney, Australia! Please take care of me!” You remembered him introducing himself at Ms. Park’s request before being seated right next to Hansol on the other end of the fourth row.
Minho, who eyed the boy curiously the entire time, sat up properly after and told you, “I’m gonna ambush him at recess. You wanna come with?”
You knew even then that you didn’t have to answer the question because as the bell rang for recess time, Minho had dragged you over to Hansol and Chan’s table as soon as he saw you pick up your wallet.
“Hi, I’m Minho and this is Y/N and we’re about to kidnap you!” Minho exclaimed as the two of you approached the unexpecting boy, earning you wide eyes from him. “If you want to, of course. Y/N’s gonna be class president again by Friday and I’m gonna be fighting Moonbin to the death for basketball captain so we’re clearly overqualified to show you around.”
You remember Hansol toppling over in laughter while you turned away in embarrassment. Not that it was uncommon for the most nonsense things to come out of Minho’s mouth then—in fact, it was quite the opposite.
Fortunately, Chan was easily persuaded. “Uh...sure, why not?” He grinned with relief, pushing his chair away from his desk and picking up his own wallet before following you and Minho downstairs to the cafeteria.
You ended up helping him buy snacks from the cafeteria and showing him around what you deemed as the most important areas of the campus within the thirty-minute recess. Because of the short time, he met your other friends belatedly at lunch.
Chan came in your life quite late—both literally and figuratively—but you suppose it’s not that bad because you’ve been friends ever since.
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Minho was ‘disappointed but not surprised’ when Chan tried out for the swim team instead of his basketball team—his words not yours.
Club Week was not actually a week but a week and a half, giving everyone time to either succeed or fail in the clubs they signed up for and move on to the next. Since you were elected Class President, you decided on sticking only to what you considered your most important clubs for senior year: Volleyball and the school paper. Minho, on the other hand, unfortunately lost his ‘fight to the death’ with Moonbin over the team captain title but he kept insisting that it was because he really was fated to be the cheer dance team’s captain instead.
“At least, it’s one less sweaty kid I have to worry about.” You jokingly assured Minho once Club Week was over. You and your group of friends were huddled on your usual table that lunch break, comparing training and review center schedules.
“Ya, what does that mean?”
“It means you’re in two sports clubs and you never shower after any one of them!” Dahyun points out for you across the table, earning her ‘ooh’s and high-fives from everyone. “You should be embarrassed, Mingyu’s on three teams and he literally showers on Febreze.”
“But I do shower, just not as religiously as everyone.” 
“Why not?” 
“Climate change!” 
You turned to Chan amidst the playful chaos, shaking your head in feigned disapproval. “Sorry, they’re five.”
The boy only chuckled. “It’s okay.”
“I’m glad you joined the school paper too, by the way.” You made sure to add, hinting that you saw him at your club assembly the week prior despite the large turn-out of people. “I heard from Jihyo at our last council meeting. Broadcasting, right?”
“Yep,” He nodded with pursed lips and an eye smile. “so you guys will hear me DJ for the rest of the year too.”
“Can’t wait.”
Chan’s first gig as the school radio’s DJ was the Friday that followed, in the middle of your student council meeting. He sounded nervous at first, which made you, Jihyo, and Seungkwan laugh while you were presenting your batch’s initiatives for the whole school year, but he made it out alive—and even included a shout out for you.
“Also, shoutout to Y/N! Thank you for showing me the ropes this month.” His voice echoed faintly through the hallways at lunch break. A pause then followed, what you assumed was Changbin and Jisung scolding him, before he snickered and said, “I guess Minho and Hansol, too! See you tomorrow, you guys!”
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Ever since the 7th grade, you’ve made sure to follow each and every one of your closest friends’ extracurricular activies. From Dahyun’s and Jihyo’s recitals to Bam Bam’s and Minho’s competitions and meets, you were always there: half as a volunteer for the school paper and the other half as a cheering friend. It’s your way of looking out for your friends, by standing in the sidelines for support. 
So naturally, with the addition of Chan to your friend group, you always came to his swim meets with a camera, a write-up outline, and a tarpaulin you’re quite sure Minho and Bam Bam didn’t make while sober the night before.
“Like the slogan, dolphin boy?” Bam Bam snickered at Chan as he sat on his designated waiting area right in front of your bleacher. It was the final tournament for the semester and your two other friends have decided on a lazy ‘Let’s go Dolphin Boy!’ decorated in glitters and a Photoshopped photo of Chan’s head in a dolphin. “When are you going on?”
Chan turned to your group and immediately slapped a hand to his face in embarrassment. “Oh my God...”
“To set the record straight, Jihyo and I were studying together last night and Dahyun was at piano lessons.” You held your hands up in self-defense to an eyeroll from Minho. “The poster’s all on Bam and Minho.”
“I know.” Chan mumbled behind his hand, removing it slowly after. “I’m on in five minutes. And what happens when I do get a place on the stands?”
“Then we’ll stand up and wave this harder!” Minho answered this time, aggressively waving the cartolina and causing a few glitters to scatter on your jeans.
“Minho!”
Chan competed in 1500 m I.M. and all the butterfly relays on that day and only then did you notice that he liked competing in them more than the other categories. You took photos and noted the important details with Bam Bam’s agile typing on your phone throughout the event, up until Chan received his mostly gold medals—when Bam Bam and Minho did kept to their word and ambushed the poor boy by throwing the slogan over his head when he asked for a group photo with everyone.
“This is like the Avengers of extended friend groups!” Dahyun joked once the chaos has died down and you’ve managed to get everyone to prepare for a couple of group photos. “Now I’m even more excited for dinner!”
A couple of Chan’s childhood friends also came that day—Younghyun, Somi, Sana, Lisa, and Matthew whom you befriended after over dinner that was Chan’s treat. It looked more like a weird family reunion to you than what Dahyun thought but you laughed anyway as you adjusted your camera settings.
“Okay, you guys ready?” You asked the group once everyone’s settled down, arms slung over each other and bright smiles ready to be taken for Instagram updates. “One, two—“
At the center of the photo, with a big bouquet of roses and several medals, Chan suddenly shifted in his position under Matthew’s and Younghyun’s arms and asked you, “Wait, wait, wait...Y/N aren’t you joining?”
You shook your head, making everyone erupt in protest. “Ya, then who’s gonna take the photo?”
Minho doesn’t exaggerate it one bit whenever he recalls this that Chan literally bolted out of the group to pull in his nearest teammate to take the photo, quickly tugging you to him afterwards and positioning you right in front of him once the group photos were taken. You ended up with his arms and his bouquet draped over you in all of the photos.
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With the college entrance exams fast approaching over a month later, you found yourself juggling your academics, cram school, Volleyball training, student council, and the school paper all at once. It was manageable at times, with the help of your teammates and clubmates, but of course there would be days when you would almost fall asleep on the spot at Saturday cram school, in particular.
Chan was no better as he balanced academics and cram school with his own swim training, the school radio, and preparing a portfolio for his talent exams at the Departments of Music for every university he applied to.
Fortunately, you both went to the same cram school with everyone else. Seated next to each other, you bought Chan coffee while he passed you candies and chocolate he would get from his mom through the mail.
“You, uh...” Chan nudged your knuckles with his softly one time, alternating his gaze between your open notes and the formulas being discussed on the white board two rows ahead. “The answer’s 2.”
“Hm?” You hummed tiredly, free hand supporting your cheek as you tried so hard to pay attention and follow along. The day prior was meetings upon meetings that lasted until 8:30 PM, pushing all of your time allotted for homework to midnight since you had to take the bus home. To say you were so tempted to fall asleep then was an understatement.
Knowing this, you saw Chan take the liberty of writing the correct answer on your notes through your half-lidded eyes, poking your knuckles with the end of his mechanical pencil after. “You have the whole solution down but the final answer is 2, silly.” He chuckled softly, discreetly passing you another gummy bear from under the table. “Do you even know what you’ve been writing?”
You nodded even though your brain was barely processing anything, receiving the gummy bear after. “I think so?” You mused out loud, making him laugh. 
“We’ll just have to go through this again later. You should’ve stayed at home and rested if you’re so tired.”
You found out later, when you were much awake to have lunch at a nearby cafe with Chan, that the boy took down the notes for you in a fashion similar to your note-taking technique for you to copy—and that he drew a small dinosaur on the margins of your notebook with a text bubble that said, “You can do it!”
Chan has made it a habit to bring you an extra thermos of coffee and drew little animals on your notebook whenever the two of you were bored ever since.
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You showed up at Chan’s doorstep on his first Christmas Day in Korea, not really expecting to see his mom with his aunt on the other side of the door.
“Hi.” Chan mustered up a rather confused smile, growing even bigger and less shy right in front of you the longer he gazed at your own wide eyes and long travel coat. “Y/N, hi.”
“I thought you were—“ You unconsciously gestured to his extended family running around the hallways behind him, furrowing your brows. “Hi, um, should I just—should I just go?”
Chan furrowed his brows, instinctively pulling you closer to the doorway by your arm once he noticed the snow falling harder behind you. “What? Why?” He asked at the sudden proximity. “What’s up?”
His unintentionally blunt tone with the question definitely had you caught off-guard and flustered. “O-Oh, I just thought—I thought you wouldn’t be with your parents and siblings for Christmas so I came over.” You cringed internally at your truthful but rather cheesy answer. “Everyone’s skating at the mall today and I thought of inviting you because I assumed that you’d be lonely here with just your uncle and auntie...”
Another smile, an amused one, settled on his lips as you talked. “Really?” He mused out loud to which you nodded absentmindedly at. “We could go right now, if you want. My mom would probably tell me to bring Hannah and Lucas along, though, if that’s okay.”
Your eyes widened for the second time that afternoon. “W-We can, yeah.” You nodded slowly to both questions, breaking into your own smile.
“Okay, come on in first, then, it’s cold out.” Chan then took you by the same hand inside, closing the door behind him and leading you to the shoe rack for your boots. “My mom’s been looking for you and everyone else since they landed here too! You should be able to stop her from fussing over dinner so much.”
You met Chan’s parents and siblings that day, almost getting stuck in his aunt and uncle’s house because of his mom’s excitement at meeting one of her son’s friends in Korea until Chan smoothly brought up your offer of going to the skating rink with his siblings. You eventually left the house with him and his younger siblings right before Minho could text you that you were taking too long.
“You do know how to skate, right, Chan?” Minho asked when you arrived. He sat between you and the boy in question to rest his feet from racing with Dahyun, removing his skates and stretching his legs forward. “Y/N and Jihyo suck at explaining things she’s already good at and Bam Bam’s a deer walking for the first time so the choices for teacher aren’t really looking so well for you right now.”
When you looked over at him from Minho’s shoulder, he simply shrugged. “Shouldn’t be that hard. It’s just ice and blades, right?”
But it ended up being very much so, at least for him as he ended up reaching for yours and Jihyo’s hands before you could even run off to join Minho and Dahyun on their race. “Okay, okay, I was wrong!” He exclaimed dramatically, gloved hand meeting your own when Jihyo jokingly moved her hand away. “I’m going to fall over!”
“You’re doing fine.” You rolled your eyes in feigned exasperation, holding his hand anyway as you slowed your pace. His siblings then passed by the two of you, giggling over their eldest brother tripping on ice. "Look, even your siblings are doing fine and you came from the same place as those two.” 
“Chan, you’re being dramatic.” Jihyo added to tease him further, gracefully sliding away from the two of you. “‘It’s just ice and blades, right?’ You’ll get used to it!” 
Then, as if for unintentional emphasis, Chan almost tripped at this and instinctively held your hand tighter. “I really am going to fall if I let go.” He pouted, linking your arms together instead. “Can’t you really teach me?”
You unlink your arms, catching his hand again. “Fine, I’ll try but don’t cling to me too much.” You pointed out, laughing when he interlocks your fingers together. “You swim in deep ass Olympic pools back and forth like it’s nothing, ice shouldn’t be that scary to you, you know.” 
With that, you spent the rest of the afternoon teaching Chan how to balance himself on his skates (and getting him out of Minho and Dahyun’s way as the two circled the rink like two roller derby players). He perfected his balance at the end of the day but he still wouldn’t let go of your hand so naturally, you came back next year. 
And next year eventually turned into an annual tradition between the two of you. 
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The exam results then came in the middle of your final Volleyball game which was probably not good for your adrenaline levels but everyone found it amusing.
Your team was leading in the final set, 23-22, and you could tell as you delivered volley after volley that your opponent was already losing hope. On the sidelines of the open gymnasium, Bam Bam and Minho held up the ugliest orange cartolina ever with ‘HAIKYUU THAT SHIT Y/N!’ in mismatched marker colors while Jihyo, Dahyun, Chan, Hansol, and Seungkwan screamed their lungs out for your team.
You’re quite certain the cartolina got confiscated by your coach after for inappropriate language, you’re not quite sure even at present because you never saw it again, especially when it was dropped to the ground the moment everyone’s phones started ringing because of an e-mail from school.
You noticed it from the sidelines, even as you and another teammate delivered the final volley that lead to your victory. Chan held your phone with a bright smile on his face, directing it to you after as you and your team huddled for a group hug and greeted the opposite team for the last time.
“Congratulations!” He greeted you as soon as you’ve celebrated enough with your teammates, waving your phone in front of you as he approached with everyone jumping not far behind him. “On both!”
“Both what?”
Before Chan could even answer you properly, you were engulfed in a big hug by Jihyo, Seungkwan, and Dahyun. “You did it!” They exclaimed in unison. “You passed all of the uni’s you applied to! We all did!”
Immediately, your widened eyes and agape mouth sought Chan for confirmation, to which he simply nodded with a laugh and a thumbs up. “No way...” You muttered in disbelief, gaining feeling back in your frozen legs after to jump along with everyone in your group hug. “No shit, no way! Congratulations, guys!”
“Congrats to you too, dude! You won twice today!” Jihyo pointed out, making everyone laugh. “We’re still on for BBQ, right?”
“Well, I can’t be the only one paying now since we all passed the exam!”
You got hugs from the others as well (and an extra one with a high-five from Seungkwan because he was just so hyped about your volleyball game), receiving from Chan last since he wanted a photo with you after.
“We could do a group photo, you know.” You tried suggesting as you held your Finals tournament trophy in between the two of you. Hansol has both of your phones side by side in front of him, adjusting the settings a little before taking the photo.
“We could but that’s for later. I need a new contact photo for you!” Chan insisted. Before you could comment on his ridiculous excuse, however, Hansol was already taking photos of the two of you.
Chan did set a photo of you from that day as your contact photo—specifically the one where you were pretending to dump invisible water from the trophy over him. It’s ridiculous and it still makes everyone laugh whenever Chan’s phone lights up with this photo.
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Graduation celebrations naturally came after, as soon as Spring Break was over. Bam Bam threw a house party for your batch that was anything but sober and civil, the clubs each had send-off parties, and the student council planned a Graduation Ball which was mostly just yours, Jihyo’s, and Seungkwan’s excuse to dress semi-fancy and have Chan invite Younghyun to invite his band, Day6, to perform a whole set of their new songs.
You came with your friend group, or at least you and Jihyo convinced yourselves that you did since no one bothered to look for dates. It had been your finals before the Saturday of the graduation ball and, on top of that, the two of you were busy ‘student council-ing’ as Minho worded it, organizing the event with the school faculty and a few parents.
You did dance with everyone by the end of the night too, Minho pulling you along by the hand in a group hug as you yelled out the lyrics to Days Gone By—one of the last songs of the evening. “Finally you can join us!” He exclaimed dramatically, pressing a kiss on top of your head as he slung an arm over your shoulder. He didn’t actually need to worry about spending time with you since you’re all staying in the hotel for the night anyway. “Loosen up, will you?!”
On your other side, you could only hear Chan laugh as Bam Bam proceeded into the center of your big circle to dance, challenging an unexpecting Yugyeom nearby after. He stole glances over to you occasionally, a fond smile on his lips whenever you’d catch him in the act. He actually wanted to ask you to dance but decided against it last minute, growing too shy at noticing that the crowds are mostly dancing in friend groups rather than pairs until it was ultimately time to retreat into your hotel rooms.
“Goodnight and happy graduation, Seoul High!”
Fortunately, however, Chan made up for this by waiting on you after the dance. You stayed behind with Jihyo and Seungkwan for an hour more once the students have either gone back to their hotel rooms or migrated to the hotel lobby to wait for their rides home; Chan was more than happy to lend an extra helping hand as you thanked the staff and made sure that the packing up was done orderly.
“You did well tonight,” He complimented you sheepishly as the two of you carefully packed up the stage’s sound equipment. The microphone he was trying to remove from the stands was still on then, making his voice echo faintly through the hall. “organizing the event and all.”
Your face heated up against the now softer stage lights as you moved the guitar and music stands from the center to the side where a staff member was waiting for you. “T-Thanks, Chan. Did you have fun?”
He simply nodded this time with a sheepish giggle, passing you the microphones after making sure they were properly turned off.
After this, Chan politely walked you and Jihyo back to your shared room with Dahyun just two floors above the one all the boys in your class reserved for themselves
“Night, Chan! Make sure you’re not being too loud with the boys downstairs, okay?” Jihyo bid him goodbye quickly with a small yawn and a mischievous smile as she opened the heavy door to your room with ease. “I’m pretty sure Bam brought that wireless microphone with him again—and it’s probably Mingyu or Seokmin’s idea again.”
“Don’t worry we won’t, I’ll make sure.” Chan nodded sheepishly before waving goodbye to her. Once she’s inside, he then turned to you and said, “Goodnight, Y/N.”
You nodded slowly at him, a little hesitant. When he raised his eyebrows at this, you then suggested, “Um...I know this is sudden and it’s like 1 AM but you don’t happen to be in the mood for McDonald’s, right?”
“Seriously? At this time?” 
“I’ll buy you an iced coffee if you want.” 
So you ended up at the McDonald’s two blocks from the hotel where your graduation ball was held, wrinkled dress suits and all. You talked for what seemed like an hour more, played with the Powerpuff Girls happy meal toy he bought on a whim, and got scolded through calls and text from your friends because you didn’t invite them. Since this day, the two of you have been buying each other’s coffee from McDonald’s.
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Bam Bam and Minho both moved further West in the city, the latter sharing his uncle’s old apartment with another friend of his, while Jihyo dorms with Mina, another friend of yours from another school, up North. Besides these, no one made a drastic change to move houses or dormitories from the area your parents considered near since everyone else attended universities relatively near. At university, especially on your first year, you, Chan, and Dahyun mostly stuck with each other; just now with the addition of Lisa who ended up attending the same university and Jacob whom Chan befriended in his classes.
Sometime towards the end of your first semester, when Bam Bam and Minho skipped school to crash one of your semi-finals Volleyball game, your now larger group of friends decided that Chan would ‘take one for the team’ and get a driver’s license for all of your travelling needs. He lost against Jacob and Dahyun of all people in the most intense game of rock-paper-scissors you’ve ever seen. 
Because of this, for the two weeks leading up to finals week, you ended up risking your life accompanying Chan to practice in his aunt’s old SUV. During this time period, he either took you to and from university as well or from your neighborhood to the bar and grill you started frequenting with him and the rest of your friend group. It’s not that he’s bad at driving, his parking skills were just initially a cause of worry for you whenever he was driving in crowded places. 
“Am I close?” Chan asked you on your first day of finals, leaning over your side of the car to check the side mirror. You had your reviewers for your Communications class glued to your face throughout the entire twenty-minute ride but that didn’t stop you from simultaneously being anxious of hitting someone else’s car right in front of your college building. “Can you check?” 
You opened the window and briefly peeked your head out, turning to Chan after and almost jumping at how close he’s gotten. “It doesn’t even look like you tried.” You laughed through your immediate flustered expression, making him lean back in frustration as he prepares to move the car again. “How long have we been here? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” 
Chan pouted, keeping a hand on your head rest as he now carefully re-attempts to parallel park. “Just five minutes.” He mumbles, alternating his gaze quickly between the front and back of the car. “So that means you’ve been studying well this entire time.” 
“Your driving is already good I could even sleep in, it’s just the parking that’s worrying.” You pointed out teasingly, leaning on his hand to glance back at the situation behind you and poking on his new arm bands. “Speaking of, you do know that you don’t even have to park, right? It’s not like you’re going to wait for me.” 
“But I’ll wait for you.” Your eyes met belatedly as Chan finally parks the car. “It’s just 30 minutes, right?” 
“It’s two hours, Chan...” You quirked a brow. “Didn’t I text you that?”  
“Really? Ah, well...I’ll just...” Chan chuckled sheepishly, clearly realizing his mistake at the last minute. “I can totally just hang around, I guess.” 
But the problem was, Dahyun didn’t have class that day, Lisa was organizing a club party, and Jacob was in his own volleyball training. Chan ended up loitering around the swim team for a while and impulsively buying you lunch because he didn’t want to waste gas. 
You bought him lunch when he passed his driver’s license in return. 
“You probably need glasses now.” You pointed out to him as you happily ate your Burger King inside his car. The nearest branch to the driving school he attended had a relatively big parking lot, making the two of you sigh in relief that he didn’t have to parallel park this time. “I’m pretty sure I texted you that my exam was from 10 to 12.” 
Next to you, Chan had his seat reclined and the windows fully open as he sipped on his Cola and munched on fries. “No, I checked it again the other day and you texted 10 to 11.” 
“What?!” When you do check your phones, only then do you find out that you did mistakenly text him 10 to 11 instead of 10 to 12. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry! Should I buy you another burger?”
Chan simply shook his head and snatched the ice cream cup you’ve been saving. “I’ll just take this, thank you!” 
“Ya!” 
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The first time the driver’s license actually came in handy was on your first volleyball game as a university student. Chan went on a round trip around the major universities in Seoul to pick up all of your friends which almost caused you to be late to the game but you could barely care then—you were too pumped over the idea of all of your friends coming together to watch you.
Besides, Chan volunteered to be a courtside reporter for the game so you weren’t scolded by your coach alone.
“Good luck out there!” Chan nudged your side with a wink as the two of you prepared to enter the arena with your team. He made sure that he had his microphone off twice this time. “I’d really love to interview you when you win.”
“When have I ever lost in front of you, hm?” You teased with a grin of your own, just as the backstage doors opened to the cheers and drums of your university. 
And, true to your word, you win the game a little over an hour and a half later. With a small trophy passed around from your teammates and the promise of a day-off from your coach, Chan was the first of your friends to approach you.
“And here we also have SNU women’s volleyball team newest recruits, Y/N and Chaeyeon!” Chan introduced you and your teammate in front of the cameras. In the distance, you could see your friends then: Jihyo, Dahyun, Mina, and Lisa holding balloons in the color of your university, Bam Bam and Minho holding their usual embarrassing slogan, and Jacob jumping up and down excitedly over your game’s turn-out. “This is your first game and first win of the season, congrats! How does it feel, you two?”
Your eyes met Chaeyeon’s instinctively to your right, making the two of you giggle shyly. After a mini game of passing the microphones between each other, you eventually ended up answering, “Um, we’re very grateful that our first game gave us our first win as new members as well and we hope that we’ll continue doing even better in the semi-finals!”
“Yes! Everyone’s hoping so too, especially after watching your play today!” Chan commented, clearly going off-topic then by the way you noticed how his mini crew of fellow students looked surprise and even checked their own cue cards.
Once the interviews were over, you were then whisked away by Minho and Jacob—the former to catch up with you while the latter was so excited talking to you about your game.
“Dude you were so good out there! Like that serve on the first set that really riled up the opposing team’s captain? And and that over the net move you did with Chaeyeon! We should have a practice game sometime!” Jacob always talked a million times per second over things that excited him but you didn’t mind, at least now Minho had someone to compete with over who could say the weirder thing.
The interaction placed a rather childish pout on Chan throughout the ride to your promised Korean BBQ dinner, no one but Lisa paid it too much mind.
“Stop pouting you look ugly.” She said to the poor boy with a feigned judgmental face, switching seats with you earlier for the ride to dinner so you can discuss volleyball with Jihyo and Jacob. “Why are you even pouting? Something on your mind?”
“Nothing.” Chan only furrowed his brows and frowned, glancing over to you on the rear view mirror to see you laughing along to a video Minho was showing everyone on his phone.
it’s not Minho that bothered him, everyone with eyes and a braincell have always known that he’s in love with his current roommate.
Jacob, though...you play the same sport and are both equally passionate over it! It definitely made Chan think.
“Nothing looks like she’s having fun, huh?” Lisa mumbled under her breath in response after a moment, breaking out into a laugh when Chan finally glances over at her with a confused look. “Nothing!”
Lisa made sure you sat next to Chan after, dragging Minho and Jacob by the ears to the other side of the table.
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On your second year, your favorite junior from your previous school finally entered college. Seungmin was also on the student council, school paper, as well as in the high school baseball team who often practiced with your volleyball team so you basically considered him your ‘child,’ much to his annoyance. Though he attended a university that was nearer to Bam Bam’s and Minho’s, you pestered Chan into driving you almost once a month to his dorm to visit, anyway. 
Chan would’ve said no every time given his own busy schedule but you promised him every time that Felix, a friend of Seungmin’s who happened to come from Australia as well, and Jeongin, another junior you unofficially ‘adopted’ in high school, would also be there. 
“Chan, I need to go to Seungmin’s, it’s an emergency.” You greeted Chan one day right after your afternoon classes. You found him in the library, studying for second semester midterms with Lisa and Jacob which did made you feel bad but you really couldn’t wait for the next bus anymore.
“What kind of emergency?” Lisa asked, prompting you to shake your head. 
“The kids said it’s very bad...” You continued shaking your head frantically and that was enough for Chan to pack up his things and lead you outside to his car. 
When the two of you arrived at Seungmin and Jeongin’s shared dorm, Chan was more than confused at seeing the former sprawled out on the common area carpet with his arms folded over his chest like a vampire while the latter and Jeongin hovered over him with worried looks and mini fans. 
“Is Seungmin dying?” Chan asked you with genuine worry as you approached, which would’ve made you laugh with the choice of words had you not just been vaguely called on short notice to deal with the situation. 
You didn’t get to answer him at first as your first instinct was to sit down next to Seungmin and ask Felix, “We came here as fast as we could. What’s wrong?” 
In front of you, Seungmin groaned in pain and rolled over on his stomach, hiding his reddening cheeks from you. “Y/N, why are you here?” He whined, bringing his arms up to his head to hide his face further. “Did these two call you?”
“Yeah they did.” You answered firmly, rolling the boy on his back again that prompted more complaints from him. “Now, what’s wrong? School? Sports? Friends? Are you okay?”
It took a moment for Seungmin to remove his arms over his face and answer you and it undeniably made you and Chan nervous. When he did answered, it was what you least expected from him as he said, “Y/N, I think I have a crush...” 
A pause then followed as everyone simply stared back at Seungmin who immediately hid in his hoodie once again. 
“Oh for the love of God, Kim Seungmin! Are you kidding me right now?! I came all the way here for this?” You smacked him in the arm once you’ve recovered, finally breaking out into laughs as the other boys toppled over in laughter. Turning to Jeongin and Felix, you then asked, “So why did you call me? You could’ve called Minho, he literally lives three blocks away.” 
Felix and Jeongin glanced over at each other and shrugged. “He said he’s having love problems,” Jeongin pointed to Seungmin innocently before turning to you. “So I thought of calling you. Aren’t you and Chan a thing?” 
This time, it was you and Chan looking at each other and laughing. “No, no, we’re not a thing.” He clarified for you with a dismissive wave. “Y/N’s married in a poly relationship with academics and extracurriculars.”
“And Chan’s secretly a merman so it’s a hard pass.” You finished his thought jokingly, looking over at Seungmin after. 
“You guys, I’m still in a situation here!” Seungmin frowned, lifting his head up to place on your lap. “I’m fucked, basically.”
“Well, since we came all the way here and gas is expensive, do you want to talk about it? Lix and I can cook dinner.”  
With that (and a few more words to get Seungmin off of the floor), you managed to drag the lovestruck boy into the kitchen and cooked him tonkatsu with Felix and Jeongin on your tail. Chan kept him company the entire time, peering over his shoulder as he narrated the story of a certain figure skater he met at his Freshman welcome assembly. “We’ve been friends for a while and I really like them but they’re always getting into trouble!” Seungmin mostly rambled, making you, Jeongin, and Felix snicker with your backs turned.
“All the more reasons to see them often, then?” You suggested, much to Seungmin’s annoyance.
“Won’t I be too obvious? Or too doting? Maybe they don’t like that as much since they’re so independent. Agh, what do I do?!”
“Play it cool like you always do, kid.” You answered simply, patting his head affectionately as you passed by his spot to retrieve a basket of condiments “What do you think, Chan?”
You clearly caught him off-guard then by the way his eyes slowly widened and he instinctively sat up straight. “O-Oh, u-um—yeah, what you said...” He eventually agreed with a nonchalant shrug to cover up his shaky actions. “Don’t overthink it or else nothing happens.”
You re-joined Jeongin and Felix across the kitchenette with a chuckle, nudging Jeongin with your elbow after. “You kids are growing up! Ah, but it still kinda feels like yesterday when you two were just messing around back in high school.”
“We’re a year below you, what are you talking about?” Jeongin pouted, eyes not leaving the side dishes he was preparing. When you don’t tease him further about it with another side comment, he then adds, “Sorry for assuming you and Chan were dating by the way. That wasn’t weird, right?”
You shook your head reassuringly. “No, it’s cool! I’m just curious where you’d get that from.”
“Minho said—“ And that was enough for you to give your aforementioned friend an earful the next time you saw him after.
“So, Chan’s not dating?” Felix asked next to which you nodded at. “Oh, cool!”
“Why? Do you have someone for him?”
Though Felix didn’t say anything more specific after that, Chan was then coerced into a friendly blind date to the movies a week after, you heard it at his new sideline podcast with Changbin and Jisung of all places.
“I—“ Seungmin’s first reaction was to clasp his hands together while the two of you were listening to the podcast episode in YouTube. “I spill out my heart to you guys and over tonkatsu then I find out that this happened right under my nose that night?”
It was a month since his dramatic confession and a little over two weeks since Chan went on the blind date and you’ve been taking the bus with Dahyun to visit the kids ever since. Chan thought he did something wrong but you’ve assured him multiple times that you’re just trying to be considerate of him since he now has an additional person on his plate.
Dahyun also wanted to visit Jihyo and Mina so you decided on commuting with her in particular.
“Ah, well, that’s life—or college...or maybe both.” You shrugged. You often studied in their dorm living room to pass the time if Minho wasn’t up for being bothered with in his apartment—you found out throughout this that studying with a Legal Management major like Seungmin motivates you to go through your rigorous readings. “How’s your crush by the way? Any progress?”
“They want to try speed skating! Do you know how dangerous that is? Not to mention, the legality of it all...”
“This person seems like they get you up on your toes. I like it! Makes things a bit more exciting, don’t you think?”
“It just makes my head hurt.” Seungmin sighed, rubbing his temples dramatically for emphasis. “I can’t help but worry...”
“I think you’re sweet looking out for them like this.” You assured. “But it’s not sports if you don’t get hurt and we both know that.” 
“Then what do I do?” 
“Just look out for them. I’m pretty sure they’re not all that clumsy as you make them out to be—you said they’re an athlete, right?—but it’s still important to be there for support and help when they really need it.” You half-shrugged, not really knowing what else to say. “But not just as someone who has a crush. Be a friend first and foremost—I mean, obviously, since you’re not dating, you’re just friends, hopefully for now. Yeah, that’s it! Don’t overthink it, you’re friends not married!” 
A thought then seemed to pass Seungmin as a small smile formed on his lips. He then pulled his knees close to his chest and leaned back on the sofa behind him. “So, is that how you are with Chan?” 
“What?!” 
“I mean he’s sort of dating right now but don’t you have a crush on him?” The younger boy asked in genuine curiosity. “Honestly, I was surprised that you let him go on that blind date with the Soyeon girl Felix recommended, much less a second date this weekend.” 
“No—I mean no, I don’t have a crush on him.” You refused calmly though your voice clearly shook a little but not for the reason Seungmin thought it was. “We’re just friends. You’re going off-topic!” 
Seungmin’s eyes lit up in interest. “Well, I thought about it so we’re talking about it now! Have you seriously never thought about it?”
“No, but I am now because you brought it up!” You shook your head back truthfully before smacking his arm with your reviewers, making him pout and wince at you. “Don’t do that! You’re like—you’re trying to brainwash me into having feelings or something!”
Seungmin instinctively held his hands up, filled with his own lecture notes, and shook his head at the accusation. “No I’m not!” He pouted at you to no avail. “I’m just saying that I’ve always thought there was something, with how you two are so close.”
“You and I are close, Minho and I are close,” You argued back with a small pout, crossing your arms. “Heck, Bam Bam and I are close and we grew up together since the 4th grade.” 
Again, the boy shook his head stubbornly. “Yeah, we’re all different kinds of close, especially Chan,” He claimed with so much conviction. “You look out for me, Minho, and Bam Bam but Chan looks out for you as much as you do for him, if that makes sense.”   
“See you can’t even reason out properly and you’re in Legal Management.” You scoffed playfully. “I look out for everyone the same way, Chan’s not that kind of special for me. Also, it’s basic human decency, Seungmin. I can’t believe you don’t look out for me back, to be honest.”
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Though you came off as perfectly unbothered by this, there was a period when things started became awkward on your end and it frustrated you until the end of your second year. 
Seungmin teased you to no end for it to make up for your equally endless questions about the person he’s taken interest in, Minho kept bringing it up whenever the two of you met or hung out in his apartment, and Dahyun only confronted you about it when it started becoming inconvenient for her as yours and Chan’s mutual friend.
“Chan keeps texting me if we want a ride to Minho’s but I already told him that we’re on the bus right now.” Dahyun showed you her phone on another one of your many commutes to Minho’s side of the city. By this time, it has been two months and three dates for Chan, with your time spend with said boy having reduced significantly. “Are you guys okay? Have you been talking lately?” 
You furrowed your brows and nodded in genuine confusion. “Yeah, why?” 
“It feels like he wants to ask me about you but he won’t say it directly.” Dahyun shrugged, leaning back on the seats. “It kinda gives me the impression that you guys fought or something.” 
“We didn’t fight.” You assured with a small frown. “Nothing happened, really.”  
“Then what is it?” 
It took you a moment to answer as your mind instinctively went to the conversation you previously had with Seungmin. “I...you know when someone points something out to you in a different light and then it makes you think of a lot of things?” When you saw Dahyun nod slowly, you then took it as your cue to admit, “It’s something like that, I guess.”
And like you, it also took a moment for Dahyun to answer. “Well, how do you feel about it?” She asked back as a response. “I think I know what this is about but you don’t have to tell me if you’re uneasy telling me about it.”
And you were uneasy and confused, very much so. “I don’t think I’m feeling anything special about it, really.” You admitted in a smaller voice, finding your attention flitting down to your hands on your lap. “I feel like I’m just thinking too much on what that someone said and how they said it.” 
“Then it’s probably nothing, easy as that. Don’t let people’s words get into your head too much, especially on things like this—if we are thinking of the same thing—or else it’s gonna feel like you’re being forced into having different feelings or think differently.” Dahyun shrugged with a reassuring smile. “If otherwise, even then don’t overthink it too much. Just let things happen as they are.” 
When you didn’t respond immediately, she then took your silence to quickly add, “Anyway, bottom line is, whatever it really is that you’re feeling or thinking, don’t ignore Chan for it. Talk to him about it specifically if it helps just don’t make him feel left out just because you’re on a one-sided awkward situation.”  
It was a tough love kind of advice but Dahyun pestered you about it until she saw you approach Chan first over a week later, when you personally asked him to carpool to Bam Bam’s place for a year-end party.
You’ve never seen Chan’s face light up as much as it did on that day at the campus library. 
“R-Really?” He stuttered out in disbelief and suddenly, all hints of drowsiness had disappeared on his expression. “I mean, c-cool! Uh, what time should I pick you and Dahyun up?” 
“Ah, well, what time should you pick up Soyeon if she’s going to carpool with us?” You asked slowly, rubbing your nape awkwardly as you stood next to his table. 
His eyes widened in surprise before an equally awkward chuckle came out of his lips. “Soyeon’s not carpooling with us.” 
“Hm?” 
“She’s going with her own friends since they’re nearer to her place.” Chan nodded absentmindedly, pulling a chair for you to sit down. You took the place without hesitation, neck heating up in embarrassment over the thought that you seemed too eager. “We’re not actually dating anymore.” 
“Oh?” You furrowed your brows as quickly as your expression almost lit up. “I mean, since when, if it’s okay to ask?” 
“Since last week. I don’t know, we agreed that it’s really...not happening between us.” Chan shrugged nonchalantly, going back to his lecture notes. “It’s cool, though, we’re studying together next week at the new study hall near Itaewon.” 
You nodded, exhaling a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding until then. “At least it’s not awkward or anything.” 
“What about us?” 
You immediately looked up at this, meeting Chan’s somewhat hopeful gaze that had you unexpectedly stammering, “W-what do you mean?” 
“Did I do something wrong?” He pursed his lips nervously, voice growing smaller with each other. “It’s just that we haven’t talked a lot lately—or maybe I’m just overthinking it...” 
You were quick to shake your head, mustering up a small smile. “No, you didn’t do anything.” You assured him gently. “I’ve just been—it’s nothing.” 
“Really?” 
You nodded, breathing in another sigh of relief. “Yeah, I just had a lot of things going on then. It’s okay now.” 
And it really was okay then. Talking to Chan again assured you at the time that you liked him as a friend. You really really liked him at the time as a friend. 
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Third year meant preparing for your senior year and going on your Junior Year internship which is probably why Bam Bam scheduled a trip to his hometown in Bangkok in the summer before this. It was just him, you, Chan, Dahyun, Jihyo, and Minho as a kind of mini high school reunion—the small kind of gathering everyone naturally hopes for with the pacing of university life. 
You stayed at his family’s house where his parents offered you the entire expanse of the living room to have a movie night and sleepover in on your first night, right before the overwhelming itinerary Bam Bam planned for the next five days. 
“Rock-paper-scissors for the beds!” Bam Bam announced after your sixth movie of the night. The Meg really wasn’t that amazing in your collective opinion but that didn’t stop you from putting it at the bottom of your To-Watch list just to throw as much nonsensical comments as you can on it. “The expandable couch goes to first, second, and third; the smaller one goes to fourth, and fifth and sixth get the air bag!” 
Unsurprisingly, you and Chan had to share the grey air bag because you simply were just unlucky that night (you accidentally got a Pringles bag that had more air on it than chips prior) and Chan was so sleepy right next to Minho from cramming a passion project with Changbin and Jisung on call. Not that you minded, you were actually glad you didn’t have to put up with Bam Bam kicking you in his sleep or Minho waking you up with his cuss-filled sleep talking. 
“Are you okay with this, sharing an air bed, I mean.” Chan had asked you as you prepared to sleep some time at 3 AM. He was hunched over on the side of the mattress that wasn’t pushed to the wall, laptop perched on top of his area as he continued fighting sleep and finishing his project. Everyone else had gone to sleep earlier. “I can totally just ask Bam for a sleeping bag if you want me to.” 
“It’s okay.” You assured him as you spread the blanket over the entire expanse of the small air bed before sliding in and taking your phone out from under your pillow. “Aren’t you slidi—tucking in too, though?” 
His face lit up in genuine surprise, slowly shifting into appreciation and fondness right in front of you as he caught the concern in your own face despite the phone blocking his view. “In a bit...I’m just making a few adjustments with this.” 
Changbin and Jisung erupted into yells on the three-way video call, their voices bursting so suddenly on Chan’s headphones that he immediately muted them before you could ask or even notice. 
Fortunately, you didn’t. “Oh, then don’t stay up too late, Chan.” You pointed out in even more concern. You knew how he could get whenever he pulled all-nighters, you realized. “We have to start really early tomorrow—or later.” 
He hummed absentmindedly with a small nod as he continued nodding, glancing back up at you again after a moment. “Then you should go to sleep already, you don’t have to wait up for me.” 
“Who said I’m waiting up for you? I’m scrolling through my Instagram.” But despite your teasing tone, you still ended up scrolling through your phone until he finished his project, bidding Changbin and Jisung a quick good morning before ending the call and sliding in under his share of the covers. 
“Okay now go to sleep.” He chuckled tiredly as he gazed down on you, hand accidentally brushing against your own in the small gap between the two of you as he placed it right next to his head. 
“But you’re watching me,” You frowned disapprovingly. “turn around or something.”
“I sleep better like this and what if I closed my eyes and you took pictures even with my back turned?” He feigned a pout, bringing his hand under the pillow as he shifted more comfortably in place. “You sleep first.” 
“You’re so childish.” You giggled, shaking your head stubbornly. “I won’t do that.” 
“As if you aren’t too right now. You’re probably thinking about it.” 
“On three, then? One—” 
“Two—“ 
“Three.” With your cue, the two of you then closed your eyes at the same time, only to peek one each right after. “Ya!” 
You eventually managed to fall asleep at the same time half an hour later with Chan reluctantly turning around for you once you had your eyes closed. He’d only see your sleeping expression a little bit later, when he woke up to use the bathroom at 7 AM and came back to check up on you sleeping comfortably and move more of the blanket to your shoulders. 
“Look at these eyebags, you could carry souvenirs in them later.” Minho chuckled next to you on the ride to your first trip destination after, laughing even more when you swatted his index finger that moved up in an attempt to poke your eyes. “Nightmare? The Meg wasn’t even about ghosts, Y/N.” 
“No, I just slept late.” You sighed, leaning back on your seat. “Chan and I stayed up a little longer.” 
At this, Minho’s eyes visibly lit up and he wiggled his eyebrows mischievously at you, prompting a disgusted look on your face. “Ooh, did something spicy finally happen between you two?” 
“No—and please never do that again, it’s disgusting!” 
“It’s my eyebrows!” 
Minho ended up teasing you throughout the whole trip, anyway, as you and Chan repeated almost the exact same routine every night.     
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You had your Junior Year Internship at a media network across the city and though Chan insisted multiple times that he can drive you to work before going to his own at an entertainment company in the opposite direction, you managed to convince him that you really can commute this time and spend the night at Minho’s if you went overtime. No hard feelings this time. 
So with what his presence in your life suddenly lacked in being your everyday transportation, he made up for by spamming you constantly online. 
“This place has Tim Tams in their cafeteria!” He’d send you the most random photos and videos of his day-to-day working in song production at the entertainment company, from actual work-related matters like sophisticated equipment he was allowed to use to the small things like the extensive cafeteria food and his boss’ pet Labrador. “What are you having for lunch?” 
Being a P.A. at a media network, however, was much more fast-paced and required you to be running everywhere on your work hours. Chan understood, of course (hence the sudden influx of dog photos during a particular period that had you working overtime almost every day), but it still made you feel bad for replying so late because, whether you admitted it or not, his constant updates alleviated your stress. 
More often than not, his spams would be responded with photos of you on the subway and video clips of Minho and his roommate who are always practicing cheer dance moves in their living room. “I had three Snickers today but I drank a lot of water so that should count for something!” You often replied, following with a clip of Minho falling on his butt after tiredly trying to land a flip. “This is your Minho update of the day. He’s getting there! I think he’s going to try out for cheer dance captain this year!” 
At the end of the semester, Chan was more than happy seeing you again, so much so that he treated you with lunch and even offered you ice cream after. “You’re going to make up for all the full meals you’ve missed this semester!” He insisted as he picked you up from Minho’s place. The two of you ended up at a ramen house which was a far jump from your usual fast food dates—something you thought about the entire time. 
“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.” You laughed but you let him order you food anyway since it was free. “Extra nori and eggs, please!” 
You exchanged internship stories throughout the entirety of your lunch, laughing along to his stories of falling asleep in the middle of work and hearing his endless teasing over you getting starstruck with assisting your favorite artists on the job. You didn’t actually miss out on a lot of his shenanigans (that’s how heavily he spammed you) but you stayed in the ramen house for more than two hours, unconsciously drifting off to different topics and gossiping about your friends until the slight embarrassment of overstaying creeped in.
“Speaking of friends, I haven’t seen everyone else lately too.” Chan mused on your ride back home. He had his CD he secretly produced over his internship period playing on the radio as well as one hand on the steering while while the other fought you over the air conditioning. “I just know that you and Jacob train for volleyball together on weekends, Lisa’s busy with club duties, Bam Bam’s on an exchange student thing and Jihyo recently introduced us to the person she’s dating now.” 
You leaned back in your seat and shrugged, finally giving up on the air conditioning to open the windows instead and admire the Han river on your side of the road. “Well, you know how Minho’s been doing with my updates and I haven’t seen Dahyun in a while too since she’s taking the most classes this semester.” You explained, extending your hand outside to feel the gentle Autumn breeze. Chan, despite being the swimmer between the two of you, thinks you’re crazy for liking the cold better. “As for many many other people I know, they’re either studying really hard or starting work now. Time flies and friends come and go, I guess...” 
When you glanced over at him again, you saw his face scrunched up in thought as his hands blindly found the gear stick to slow down at an intersection. Once you reach the red light, he then meets your gaze, uncertainty in his expression that he tried playing off with a shrug. “Yeah but...is it weird if I said I don’t want that to happen with us?” 
“N-No?” You found yourself answering before you could fully comprehend the question. Clearing your throat, you tried joking it off, “I think you might’ve taken the ‘I’m class president let me show you around’ thing back in high school, Chan.” 
He shrugged, smiling as well at this. “Maybe I did, who knows? I like spending time with you.” 
“I force you, you’re my ride around the city.” You teased, hints of sincerity coming through your tone of voice. 
“But that’s because I like you, isn’t that what people do with people they like?” He said it with so much nonchalance but you couldn’t help but feel flustered at this, a reaction you immediately hid by laughing. 
“You like me too much, it’s going to cause a traffic with all this sentimental stuff,” You pointed out, the cars behind you suddenly honking annoyedly as if on cue. “See? Even the people behind us agree.” 
Chan wasn’t offended, however, not one bit as he continued rambling about liking you all the way to your dorm after. It flustered you at first, especially with how casual he was being, but, as you neared the turn to your dorm outside of university, you eventually caught up with teasing him back about it. 
When you thought about it on your own once he left, you realized that you somehow liked it. It felt very natural—as if it’s something that’s always felt right hearing from him. 
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“I like Chan.” 
“Yeah no shit.” Minho agrees absentmindedly, Seungmin and Jeongin nodding along while emptying their take-out boxes. You carpooled with Chan today as he drove Felix and Jisung somewhere to help them finish their term research paper. You were only supposed to hang out with Seungmin and Jeongin but Minho decided to ambush the three of you with Jihyo and Mina on their way to join your group at the younger boys’ dorm. “What else is new, Y/N? We haven’t met up like this in a while so I was expecting something spicier!” 
“No, I mean—” You roll your eyes at him, smacking him with your rolled up lecture notes but to no avail. The boy simply opened his phone to check his messages, frowning when he then comes across a message from Jihyo and Mina informing him that they’re stuck in traffic. “I really like Chan.”   
“Okay, and then?” 
“I’m telling you I actually like someone then you dismiss me.” 
“And I mean that took you a record-breaking three years to say.” Minho points out, finally closing his phone and propping an elbow up on the table to face you properly. “What has you sharing this to us on this fine Saturday, hm? Did you get jealous over someone again and got so insecure that you realize your feelings? Did you get stuck in a really small space, admired his face a bit then realize that you think he’s cute? Which trope is it?” 
You shake your head disapprovingly at him, briefly glaring at Seungmin and Jeongin when the two start snickering next to you before answering, “Nothing, just...we talked lately and I thought that I really like talking to him.” 
“So you don’t like talking to us?” It’s Jeongin teasing you this time as he sipped on his juice box, earning him a crumpled ball of paper on the head. “I thought it’d be more grand like in those K-Dramas.” 
“You flood your crush with Pepero boxes and now you’re talking big with K-Drama confessions.” Seungmin points out, making the other boy in question roll his eyes. 
You open your mouth to speak but Jeongin beats you to it. “Talk to me when you’ve confessed to that figure skater at your university, baseball boy.” He says before turning to you again, placing a hand over Seungmin’s face and dramatically pushing him away by his head. “Anyway, back on topic! So, will you ask him out?” 
“I don’t know, should I?” You frown, leaning back on the sofa behind you with your arms crossed. “Wouldn’t it be weird?” 
Minho shakes his head. “It’s 2020 so go wild, my friend. Anyway, if it doesn’t work out I already got my driver’s license—though I will tax you since you live far away.” 
You roll your eyes, hitting him again. When his roommate passes by, half-asleep and dragging their feet towards the kitchen, you hear them request another smack on Minho’s head on their behalf as if on instinct. “I mean, do you just go for it? What if you don’t feel enough for people for it to work out?” 
A pause then follows in the room, even Minho’s roommate momentarily stopped gulping down water from across the open common area. Seungmin and Minho sigh while Jeongin only raises an eyebrow with the same curiosity.
“Yes, Y/N.” Minho answers after a moment, tsking at you as he does so. This time, you gather the energy to smack him for the fourth time as quickly. “It’s dating not marriage, just see what works and what doesn’t.”
Seungmin opens his mouth to say something else, probably to comment on how Minho doesn’t apply the sentiments to his own love life, but he nods in agrement anyway. “I think it’s like you always tell me: don’t overthink it.” He adds instead, briefly turning his head to Minho after. “But I’m going to pretend you didn’t bring it up first, hyung.” 
Don’t overthink it. Even Jihyo and Mina agreed when they arrived, pestering you into going over your entire rant and dilemma again once they arrived with beer and convenience store food. Dahyun too, but only a little later when Jihyo puts her on FaceTime.
“Just wing it,” She even added to assure you, glitching a bit on video because public library wi-fi has never been better than that.. “it’s just Chan, what could go wrong?”
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And really, with Chan, nothing ever does feels like it’s going to go wrong even when the situation has your heart on the line.
“Chan, give me your hand.” You extend your hand out to his side of the car with your palms facing upwards, chuckling when he glances over to you with wide eyes. “I won’t tickle you this time, promise.” 
“So what are you going to do?” He asks as he reluctantly moves his hand from the steering wheel to your hand, alternating his gaze between the road and you on his side in long intervals. “I’ll have you know that we’re about to turn to a narrower road so don’t try anything funny.” 
“Like I said, I’ll just hold your hand.” You feign a pout, bringing your hands down on the compartment in between your seats. “There.”
You won’t tell it to his face right now, of course, but holding his hand is comforting to you.
He invited you to a small film festival for today, a thirty-minute ride to a place he only heard of on the poster for it that he showed you at the start of the week. “Bam Bam’s too busy to come with so I thought I’d invite you since you’re free this week!” He explained over the phone and you knew Bam Bam is really busy when it’s you who Chan is inviting to these kinds of everyday. “They have lots of animated movies on the line-up too so I immediately thought of you!” 
“Your hands are so small.” Chan comments after a moment, shaking your intertwined fingers gently as the car stops at traffic. 
You poke on his knuckles in response. “You just have really big hands.” 
“Your hands are clammy too.” He points out next with a laugh. “Are you okay?”
“Because you won’t turn the air conditioning up, dumbass.” You roll your eyes, scoffing when he doesn’t move his hand anyway. “So why don’t you let go?” 
“Because I like holding your hand.” He shrugs, biting down a small smile. The traffic still won’t move and he takes this as an opportunity to look at you as much as he can. “I like you a lot—even with your clammy hands.” 
“I—” You freeze with your mouth hanging open, finally catching onto his smile. “Ya, what’s with the smile? Did you...did Minho say something?” 
“What? No. I can’t smile now?” And it’s the truth, you find out much later when Chan calls Minho for you and puts him on loud speaker to disprove your suspicions. “Why? What am I supposed to not know until now?” 
You squint your eyes suspiciously at him, shifting your hands around his but to no avail. “That I—I was going to say it first today. I like you too—a lot.” You sigh in defeat, leaning back on your seat and twisting your body to face him properly. The traffic is slowly starting to move again and Chan briefly turns away to move the car, turning to you as soon as traffic permits him again. “It’s a bit embarrassing to say right now, my hands are so clammy and you’re holding onto them the entire time.”
“It’s not because you’re nervous, right?” He asks with the smallest glint of teasing in his eyes which you shake your head at immediately. “It’s just us.” 
“I told you, it’s because the air conditioning’s too low.” You chuckle, finally relaxing your shoulders in relief. Chan then lifts your hands up to the air conditioning unit jokingly, turning up the level with his knuckles. “And it’s exactly why I’m not nervous, because it’s just us.” 
“Me too, to be honest. I’d be freaking out right now if Minho or Lisa or just anyone else peered over our shoulders.” You hear him mumble under his breath in a sheepish giggle. A thought then crosses his mind as he glances over to you, the traffic now moving much more smoothly. “So, I can still ask you if this is a date, right? The cinema’s still five minutes away with this traffic.” 
You pretend to purse your lips in thought, bringing your hands back down once they’ve dried with the sudden rise in temperature. “Isn’t this too last minute even for you?” You tease, making him frown. “Ah, well, better late than never I guess.” 
“I’ll make it up to you on the second date, promise.” He assures you, turning right to your destination. “Jus don’t back out on this being a date now, okay?” 
“Of course not.” 
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“So boring.” It’s Bam Bam teasing you this time, Minho agreeing on the side. The one time he’s actually free to hang out and he sasses you throughout the entire night. “I expected more from you two.” 
“It’s...two people dating in college, not a romcom, Bam.” You deadpan before taking a sip of your soju. 
He shrugs from across the table anyway, passing you another bottle. “I guess being in love makes you a little boring. I don’t blame you.” 
You slap a hand up to your forehead while Chan is practically drunk and dying next to you in embarrassment. “Oh God...” 
387 notes · View notes
marblesphere · 3 years
Text
Dream or Reality (Noctis x Reader)
I wrote this fic years ago. So, I fixed up a little and decided to post it here. I have also posted it in devianart under LastMoogleHunter. Happy reading!
“Aaaaahhh….what a boring day, always the same. There’s nothing new, nothing makes me excited.” I sighed for the umpteenth times. I see, I haven’t introduced myself, my name is [Name] [Last Name], I am 12th grade in Destiny High. This is my last year, thus was recommended in making good memories. Though…there is nothing fun, I wish Final Fantasy characters are real people. That’ll so much fun, especially if there is Noctis.....
Kyaaaa!!! I am so embarassed... ahem, let’s put that aside and let’s get onto the story.
This morning also has the same routine, wake up, bath, breakfast, school, home, dinner, sleep and so on. And coincidentally my literature teacher decides it’s fun to see her students suffer, and thus given us a homework about composition. I groan, this is going to kill my brain cells. ���God, please let my life get interesting such as Final Fantasy character come to life..... Just kidding, it’s not like it can be granted anyway.” I exhaled. I put my homework and stationery on my desk and start thinking about the theme I am going to write. Not long after I start doze off.
My internal clock woke me up from my slumber. Groggily, I glance my clock and it shows 6.30 a.m. I blink once, twice and rub my eyes to make sure I am not mistaking it. In instant, all sleepiness fades away. ”Aaaahh!! I am late!!” I freaked out and with lightning speed I took a bath. While I was stripping though, something fell from my shorts’ pocket. I pick it up and examine it, it was a golden watch. Curious, I open it and something was craved on the lid ‘aeternam vinculo’ ‘what’s this mean? More importantly when I got this thing?’ I was thinking and completely forgotten the time.
“[Name]! breakfast is ready!” Kaa-san called.
“No way!” I yelped and resumed my activity.
I run down the stairs and eat breakfast quickly, “[Name], there’s still some time.” Kaa-san said.
I gulp down my orange juice, “Gotta go. Bye Kaa-san, Tou-san.” I said as I ran to school. Fortunately, the distance to school from my house is not that far. Upon arriving there, I still see a lot of students leisurely walking to the school. Looks like I am safe. I sigh in relief as I pat my chest. suddenly, I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn around, but the sight of that ‘someone’ tapping my shoulder made my eyes widenend.
“Morning.” He said, while I blinked once, twice, titled my head and stare at him as he is an alien landing on earth. The person who greeted me is no other than the famous Chocobo head, Cloud Strife.
I keep staring at him without blinking. “You…” I could only manage a word to come out from my mouth.
Cloud looks at me oddly, “What’s wrong?” he asked. 
“Good morning you two.” A new voice called. Our head snap to that direction and find Tifa and Yuffie are walking toward us.
My eyes widened ‘[Name].exe is shutting down.’ I can practically hear a robotic voice said that. ‘What exactly is going on?’
Seeing my confused blank looking face, concern made to Tifa’s face, “[Name], what’s wrong?” She asked.
So, I did the most logical action I could at the moment, I pinch my left hand, “Ow…” ‘It hurt.’ I rubbed my reddening left hand.
“[Name], are you really alright?” Tifa asked again. “Don’t worry Tifa, I bet she just woke up.” Yuffie grinned.
‘It’s not a dream....? t-they are really alive...?’ I am still confused, I am still not sure if I am having a realistic dream or this is the reality. But if so, what about yesterday and the day before yesterday and the days before today? Was that reality a dream? And this is the real reality? My mind is in jumbled mess, but I am happy. My wish has come true, my wish for the Final Fantasy characters are real people and as a bonus I have befriend with them. There’s no more I could ask for.
I feel someone shakes me. “Huh?” I snapped back to the reality.
“Maybe we should get her to infirmary.” Tifa said.
“Whooa. [Name], you really sick?” Yuffie was shocked by the news.
“Let’s go.” Cloud said as he prepared to drag me.
“W-wait! I’m fine, I just dozing because I just woke up.” I said putting a sheepish grin.
“See, she’s just woke up.” Yuffie grinned again, but I can see she was relieved as well.
‘Well, I did wish something interesting like this happen. Well, dream or not let’s enjoyed it to the last.’ I smiled at my thought as we walked to the class.
Upon entering class, I no longer panic on what I saw. There are some FF characters here and there, but I spot no Noctis, ‘Well, I’ll be lying if I am not disappointed.’ I sigh softly. ‘Well, nothing goes smooth now.’
Then I heard giggles and squeals. ‘Don’t tell me this is a famous scene from shoujo manga. The moment when male lead and his group enter the classroom. If so, then… Those girls will be the mortal enemies of the female lead. After the plot milked her usefulness, she and her sidekicks will fall into ruin.’ I blinked as I looked at those girls. ‘What a shame. They look nice enough though. But, I wonder who they’re fangirling about.’ I follow the crowd’s eyes, then the door opened revealing ‘Emergency! Mayday! Mayday! All staffs please evacuate! The ship will sink soon!Eh? EEEEEEHHHHH???!!! What is happening?! Why is he here?! No... I mean… I am happy that he is here. But he being here is a problem itself to me, in many ways.’ The one who opened the door is no other than Noctis.
I stiffen when he walks to me. “Good morning.” He muttered as he walked past me to his seat which is behind me.
“Mo-morning…?” And the problem is I was suttering when I replied, ‘Now I’ve done it…. he officially think I am one of his fangirls.’ I sighed earning a few snickers from Tifa and Yuffie which I give them an odd look.
“Morning, Hime-chi.” Prompto greeted.
I am not sure who is Hime-chi is. But seeing no one responds to him, it must be me, right? “Morning…?” I greeted back hesitantly.
During the duration of the lesson, I can’t concentrate at all. Part of it is because Noctis is sitting behind me. The other part is I am frantically thinking what should I do, what is my relationship with him and the other characters. Just because some of them are my friends, that doesn’t mean all of the characters must be my friends. And I have to be careful how to act around them, so they didn’t notice my awkwardness.
The bell rings signaling lunch break. Finally, me and the group which included almost all of the alvalanche members plus some other go to school cafeteria. Minus Cid and Barret cause they’re too old to go to school anyway which I found out later the two of them are school staffs. Barret as P.E teacher and Cid as engineer. And of course, let’s not forget Zack and Aerith. We go to cafeteria to eat lunch, while the others eat and talking each other, I am thinking about a lot of thing and that mysterious golden watch.
“[Name].” A voice snapped me out of my own world and I found all of them were staring at me.
“Huh?” I blinked owlishly.
“Are you okay?” Aerith asked worriedly.
“Did they bully you?” Prompto frowned.
“Eh? Bully? Who?” I tilted my head not understanding who were they talking about. ‘…For the first time in my life I was bullied…’
“WHAT!? Those girls are bullying my little sister?! How dare they!” Zack raged.
“W-Wait a minute. I am fine. No one is bullying me.” I said quickly calming them down.
“I heard something about bullying [Name]. Who is daring enough to do that?” Another new voice chimed in.
“Ah.” I blinked at the newcomers, twins exactly.
“Stella, Luna. Where were you guys?” Yuffie asked.
“Sorry, the teacher needed us just now.” Stella apologized.
“So, I heard someone is bullying [Name]? Which idiot?” Luna smiled scarily.
“No one was bullying me.” I shook my head quickly. ‘Scary…. Does Lunafreya is this kind of character?’ I sweatdropped.
“If we are talking about bullying, then I am sure it’s no other than her and her little group.” Tifa rolled her eyes.
‘I wonder who and why would people bully me? I don’t think I’ve ever made someone mad enough to be bullied by them.’ I scanned the cafeteria and spot a group of girls glaring at me, ‘Ah. So, they are the bully group.’ Then a mop of blond caught my attention, I narrow my eyes to get better sight, ‘…Who is she? I have never meet her before, but strangely her name popped out in my mind. Tachibana Kirika-san, Noct’s fangirl…. Ah, no wonder.’ I looked at her object of affection.
“Ignore them” Noct said.
“Umm...okay.” I answered.
After that staring contest, all is well. No war break between us. The last bell finally rings, signaling the end of school. And so, as per usual ritual, apparently we always go home together. “See you tomorrow.” I waved to them when I arrived at my house.
“See you.” They waved back. I open the door only to find it is hollow of life. I found a note one dinner table ‘Business trip one week, there’s a leftover for dinner. We’ll get your cousin to stay at the house tomorrow.’ I sighed. It’s still the same,’Oh well, I’m used to it.... wonder who is my cousin. This is the first time I heard about having a cousin staying over.’
Tired and still in term of accepting what has happened today. I am feeling really sleepy, but I didn’t dare to sleep. What if this is just a dream and I’ll wake up in the same position on my desk, as selfish as it may sound I still don’t want this to end yet. So many thoughts race in my head, absetmindedly I take out the golden watch and finally fallen asleep holding that.
I wake up with a start and glancing at my room, then realize something, FF charas. ‘Is it a dream?’ I sighed and I felt something in my hand. The golden watch, it’s still here. That means ‘It’s not a dream.’ I grinned widely, they are real. Thus, I quickly begin my routine of the day.
Arriving to the class, I greet them. Them as in the group. “Morning.” I greeted.
“Morning.” They replied. I sit at my seat and put my bag on drawer, but then a sharp pain creeps through my hand, instictively I take out my hand and trail of blood is dripping from my hand. My eyes flicker at the sound of giggles, there Tachibana Karin stand proudly at what she have done, she even raises her chin up to which I reply with raised eyebrow.
‘Truly, this is the first time I am being bullied for real.’
Seeing my bloodied right hand and still bleeding. Cloud quickly take my hand and examines it. “You okay?” He asked.
“As okay as someone will be with bleeding hand.” I remarked. Zack is definitely pissed off by the look of his face and stalks toward them.
“Why you little-“
“Zack. There’s no need to get angry.” I called to him.
Ignoring my call, he still stalks toward them, that is until Vincent holds him, “Ignore them. We should take her to infirmary.” He said.
“No no no. we can’t let this kind of things go.” Stella stepped in.
“Indeed. We’ll need to teach her a lesson.” Luna easily agreed with the older twin.
“Stella, Luna. Not you two too.” I sweatdropped.
“Let’s just take [Name] to infirmary first.” Tifa said. With that, the group accompanies me to the infirmary.
“The cut isn’t deep, it will heal in few days.” Nurse Quistis said after she finished bandaging me.
“Thank you.” I thanked her.
“It’s my job, now off you go to class.” She ushered.
“Yes ma’am.” I give her mock salute as I get out of the room.
Entering the class, I was bombarded with questions. Quistis kicked all of the out for being so noisy and too much. “I am fine.” I said for the umpteenth time.
Then Tachibana-san comes to me and asks with her sickly sweet voice, “How was your hand? Is it hurt?”
“Well, why don’t we try it to your hand. And then you’ll know whether it’s hurt or not.” I smiled eraning a few snickers from my friends as they heard my reply.
Tachibana-san’s face is red with anger and opens her mouth to say something. But then, the door opened revealing Noctis and Prompto. she quickly puts her sweet façade again to which I know that isn’t fooling anyone with decent IQ. “Good morning.” She greeted him which was ignored and laughter rose from our throats.
“If you didn’t do something like bullying his friends, you might have a chance.” I told her.
“You!” She gritted her teeth.
‘Aaah… She really didn’t get it.’ I sighed mentally. “Good morning you two. How unusuall for you to almost late.” I greeted.
“Good morning, Hime-chi. You see, we are almost late because we met an old woman on the street. She… Hime-chi, what happened to your hand?” Prompto frowned when he saw bandage on my left hand.
“Your hand...”
“Oh, this..” I said as I lift my hand. “Apparently, someone with a bad hobby finds it interesting to get me scream in pain. Unfortunately, they didn’t get what they want.” I smiled. Noct opens his mouth to ask something when the bell rang, signalling the start of class. All of us goes back to our seat. Well, in my case after recieving a hateful glare from Tachibana-san.
‘More importantly I wonder… Why is she targeting me? I mean, Noct’s female friends are not only I. There are Luna and Stella too…. Does she know I like him…? Well, I do like him as character in games before. And meeting him right now does make my feeling stronger… but, I am not sure if I like him as man… Besides…’ A certain scene from the game flashes in my mind. It’s overlapping in a scene I’ve seen here. ‘I am such a fool… obviously they are together…’ A bitter smile graces my lips.
The lessons went well, save for the ocasion hateful glare... okay scratch that, hateful glare all along. Lucnh break bell rings..... “Okay class, that’s all for today... oh and there is winter ball on the 28th December. All of you MUST come, it’ll be the last event for you. Class dissmissed.” Then the teacher goes out of classroom.
I groan inwardly, ‘Great… a ballroom.’ Note the sacarsm. The students scatters, chatting about the ball, while the group (girls only) advance to me.
“Soooo.....” Yuffie begins the conversation. “Who is going to be your date?” she asked excitedly.
“I don’t want to go.” I groaned again.
“You shouldn’t idle too long [Name], he will be snatched away.” Aerith said gigglig slightly.
“He? Who?” I titled my head. ‘Do I like someone?’
“Of course it’s him.” Yuffie answered.
“Tsk tsk tsk. As if [Name] will like another boy except from him.” Stella raised her brow.
“That dense man is too dense.” Luna giggled.
“Who is he exactly?” I frowned. But to them, my expression right now is quite funny because they are giggling.
“Don’t play dumb [Name]. all of us already know who is he. He is the one who gifted you the golden watch on your birthday.” Tifa said.
 ‘So, that was a gift from someone. And that someone is my crush so to speak…’ I blinked. ‘Who is…’ Suddenly the answer appeared itself in my mind.
*Poof* my face explodes to a blush. ‘It’s him. That man who is a trouble to me just by being here.’ I covered my face looking away from the evil grins on their faces.
“That time he was so shy. It’s funny, right?” Yuffie exclaimed.
“Hey, you guys.” I was saved by Reno. “Who are going to be you girls’ date?” He asked excitedly.
“Not again…” I groaned. “Reno, you don’t have any delicacy at all.” I whined.
“What happened to her?” Reno blinked.
“Just girl trouble.” Stella giggled followed by the rest of the girl.
“I mean you guys have fixed date already. Is there any point to ask?” I pouted. “I’m sure Tifa is going with Cloud, Aerith and Zack, Yuffie with Vincent. Stella is with Prompto and Luna will be going with No-.” I said.
“My date is a secret.” Luna cut my sentence.
“Secret?” I blinked.
“Yep. You’ll know when the time comes.” She smiled mysteriously.
“So, what about you [Name]? Wanna be my date?” He winked.
I snort, “No, thank you.” I flat out rejected him. “If I go with you. Your group of angry girlfriends will be waiting for me. Nuh-uh. I still want to be perfectly healthy, thank you.” All of them excluding Reno who is now sulking are laughing at his misfortune. “I am probably going alone. There’s no rule I can’t go alone.” I smiled. “…What’s wrong?” I blinked when I found them stared at me oddly.
“[Name]… You are quite dense…” Tifa sweatdropped.
“Huh?” I titled my head.
“[Name] you know, you are quite popular. If you say you are searching for a date. Everyone will probably line up.” Aerith giggled.
“…You are teasing me, aren’t you? I have a plain face you know. The one that is neither pretty, beautiful or cute. Besides, if I mean if I am quite popular, how come no one talk to me or better yet flirt to me?” I put an unamused face.
‘That’s because a certain someone made sure no one will not talk to you more than necessary. How can they have a gut to flirt with you with him hanging around you like a guard dog.’ All of them sweatdropped.
“Enough about me. What about the prince?” I turned my question to the prince that walked past me back to his seat.
“About what?” He sat back down.
“The winter ball. Who are you escorting?” I asked.
He snorts. “I don’t want to go.” He said.
“Me too. But we are forced to go.” I chuckled.
“I am waiting for someone.” He answered shortly. His answer makes the boys laugh. I raise my eyebrow at their odd reaction.
“You should hurry and ask her out, or else she’ll out of your reach.” Zack chuckled.
“Yep. After all the effort you put into.” Cloud nodded.
Zack’s word make my chest stings a bit. ‘What is this feeling?’ I blink the I shake my head to ignore it and chat with the rest of them.
Zack’s word is still ringing in my head. I am indeed curious as who is he going to ask, but I am more curious about the feeling in my heart just now. ’They are just characters from game, right? So, why did I have this feeling? Besides, I am sure he is going to ask Luna. No need to think that hard. They obviously are going to reveal it at the winter ball.’ I finally asleep while thinking about this.
Again, I wake up from my peaceful slumber before the alarm rings. I rub my eyes to get rid the alimighty power of sleepiness. The calendar on my wall made me realize this is Saturday. ‘Oh, it’s finally this day.’
As usual, I did my everyday routine, and then off to school. My peaceful day was once again ruined by Tachibana-san and the rabid fangirls follower.
“You! You dare to embarass me the other day, in front of my Noctis no less.” She screehed.
“My...Noctis...? Wow, I am not sure how to reply to that statement... Besides, weren’t you the one asked me about my hand, I just answered that it would be better for you to experience it first hand.” I answered effortlessly.
“You bitch!” She swung her hand to slap me. I am ready to dodge and prepare some wise words. But, her hand was caught midair by a more masculine hand.
I turn my head to get a better look of my savior. ‘Squall.’ I blinked at the unexpected character. ‘Rinoa shouldn’t be too far from Squall.’ I giggled inwardly at my own thought.
“You better stop this or you’ll get more than just slapping.” He growled. Tachibana-san turns pale. She and her follower quickly retreat back.
Then suddenly a girl pops out from his side. “Are you okay, [Name]?” Said girl is no other than Rinoa. ‘As I thought, Rinoa is not far.’ I chuckled at my own thought.
“I am fine.” I answered. “But, why are you two here?” I asked, I am not surprised with the characters popping out as my friends anymore. Last time, I found out Ignis is our Chemistry teacher and Gladioulus as our school security guard.
“Listen well! this isn’t over! I’ll make your life a living hell!” Tachibana-san sreeched which we of course ignored. The she stomps out here with her rabid fangirls follower.
“Just like always, you are a trouble magnet.” Squall Leonhart, which like to be called Leon sighed.
“You haven’t answered my question... Squeon.” I added my personal nickname just to annoy him.
“Your parents were worried, so they asked me to take care of you.” He said ignoring my nickname.
“I am fine, Squeon.” I said again.
Squall snorts, he lifts my bandaged hand, “And you said this was okay.”
“[Name], you are injured. What happened?” Worrywart Rinoa asked.
“I am okay. It’s just a small wound, Quistis said it will heal in 2 or 3 days.” I said calming Rinoa down.
Then, we heard some footsteps running toward us. The group are rushing to us. “Squall! Rinoa!” They exclaimed happily when they saw them.
“It’s Leon.” He grunted.
“Nooo, it’s Squeon.” I laughed. Squall only glares at me using his infamous glare.
“Long time no see.” Rinoa smiled.
“[Name], are you alright? I heard from some people Tachibana was bullying you, what did she do to you?” The now panicking Tifa asked.
“I am okay. she was just going to slap me, but Squeon stopped her.” I answered.
“WHAT?! She was going to slap you?! That damn bitch! How dare she!” Zack cursed.
“Calm down. I am not strupid just standing there waiting her slaps me.” I snorted. ‘Besides, which idiot will stand still when they are going to be hit.’
“By the way, if Squall and Rinoa are here. Does that mean they are going to be your care taker again?” Cloud asked.
“Yes, they are.” I said grinning.
“Oooooh, it’s rare that we can gather here together. So, how about we go to Chocobo Land  tomorrow?” Yuffie exclaimed excitedly.
“Chocobo Land.... Well, it’s been a while, the last time we go together was on [Name]’s birthday.” Aerith said. With that said, all of us decide to go to Chocobo Land tomorrow. Unbeknwon to me, I am playing right to their trap.~”~
“Eeeeehhhh~ Why can’t you go with us?” I asked, dismayed at the fact we couldn’t spend time together.
“Rinoa isn’t feeling well.” Was Squall short answer.
But I can’t shake the feeling that something is off. “She was fine yesterday.” I mumbled.
“Yesterday and today are different.” But all I did was stare, stare and stare. He sighs, “Just go already, you don’t want to be late, right?” He ushered me to go.
“Yes~” I sulked.
Arriving at the Chocobo Land. Only Noctis is at the rendezvous point. “Hey, Noct, where is the others?” I asked.
“They still haven’t arrived.” He answered.
‘Weird. They are usually on time. Maybe Yuffie will be a little late.’ I blinked at the unusual happening. And suddenly our phones ring at the same time signalling there are messages in our group chat.
Tifa
“Sorry, my parents are out of town suddenly. Need to housesit.”
Yuffie
Some brats in neighborhood are hunting my treasure. Need to safeguard it.
Zack
Am grounded. T.T
Luna
“Sis and I have trouble escaping from arranged marriage.
Stella
“Have fun. We will arrive there late.”
Aerith
“The shop is crowded. I can’t go out yet.”
Squall
“Rinoa is sick. Need to take care of her.”
Rinoa
Sorry guys.
Cloud
“Fixing my bike.”
Vincent
“…Sleepy…”
Prompto
“Helping acquaintance in photoshoot.”
‘What kind of hellish timing is this?’ I sweatdropped. ‘…No matter how I think, they are definitely setting us up.’ I sighed softly.
The two of us look at each other and sigh. “We were set up.” He said. “So, what should we do? Should we go home?” He asked again.
“Hmmm… We’re already here anyway. So, let’s just play. Just the two of us.” I grinned. A small smile is tugging on his lip hearing my sentece. But, unbeknown to us, we were followed by eight enthusiastic stalkers plus two reluctant stalkers and cameras.
Everywhere and anywhere as far as I can see, all I can see is Chocobo. The excitement is building up. “Chocobo♪~ Chocobo♪~.” I hummed out with sparkling eyes.
“Your love for Chocobo is something else.” Noct sweatdropped.
“What can I say, I just love Chocobo.” I giggled. “Then, our first ride will be that.” I pointed to the Chocobo Jet that was quite far from our meeting point.
“Figures you will ride that first.” Noctis chuckled.
“Let’s go!” I giggled excitedly. ‘Just for today. Let me spend a quality time with him. Yes…Just for today.’ The Chocobo Jet is really exciting. “I want to ride it again.” I said enthusiastically.
“Let’s ride the other attraction first. We’ll ride the roller coaster again later.” He sighed helplessly.
“It’s a promise, okay. I won’t go home if I don’t get to ride it again.” I stuck my pinky to him.
“Yes, yes. It’s a promise.” He hooked his pinky to mine. And then seamlessly warps his hand around mine and tugs me along.
I blink at the action. ‘Alert, alert. The parameter is rising.’ A slight blush adorns my cheeks. I quickly put a hand on my cheek to cool it down.
“What’s wrong?” He asked when he saw my weird action.
“Nothing!” I squeaked in high pitched voice.
He blinks, “You are so weird.” He laughed.
“I don’t want to hear that from you.” I stuck my togue out to him.
The next ride is Chocobo Cup. “Spin faster!” I laughed cheerily as I spun the cup faster.
“You’ll get dizzy later.” Noct smiled.
‘Hm…?’ from the corner of my eyes, I think I caught a glimpse of a familiar chocobo head. ‘Was I mistaken?’
“What’s wrong?” Ncoct asked when he realized I stopped spinning.
“Ah, nothing, I thought I saw Cloud.” I shook my head. “It must be my imagination. I mean this is Chocobo Land.” I laughed. All of the visitors are wearing Chocobo headband which we get as a free gift in the entrance.
“What do you want to do next?” He asked.
“Hm…Oh!” My eyes are drawn to the shooting range not far from us. More accurately, drawn to the prizes in that shooting range. “That! Let’s compete!” I turned to Noctis.
“Yes?”
“Let’s see who will get the grand prize first!” I exclaimed.
“Yo, ojou-chan, an-chan. The point for the grand prize is 150. The rule is easy. Your gun has 3 bullets. Knock down the plate with the point written on it. collect 150 points and you have the grand prize. Easy, right?” Baku explained.
“Yep!” I nodded.
“One game is 150 gil.” He smiled.
“Give us two guns.” Noct said as he handed him the money.
“Haiyo!” Baku handed us the bullet.
“The game is on!” I grinned.
~One Round Later~
“Not fair….” I sulked. In the end, Noctis wins with overwhelming victory. I don’t understand how he managed to get 200 points, while I couldn’t even get the 10 points plate down.
“Bwahahahaha! Ojou-chan, you are the best! Your skill is one in one hundred!” Baku laughed merrily.
“Sh-shut up!” I cried out.
“An-chan, your skill is amazing. Usually, the guests will spend more than 3 games to get a hang of this game.” He smirked.
“This is just a fluke. My friend happens to be good at this kind of game. I was only following his advice.” Noct answered.
“Heh. I want to meet this friend of yours.” Baku smirked.
“Next time, I guess.” Noct shrugged his shoulder.
“Bahahaha! I can’t wait!” Baku laughed harder.
While those two are chatting. I am already at my own land of misery. “I am sorry Chocobo. I can’t get you. I am sorry I am such a failure.” I murmured.
“So, what happen to Ojou-chan?” Baku sweatdropped.
“She just happened to love Chocobo a bit too much. Too much that I am jealous.”
“Bwahahaha! You win the game, but lost the war. I really pity you, An-chan” Baku patted his shoulders.
“Haahh…” He sighed. “[Name]. Here, this is yours.” Something is shoved to my face. It’s the grand prize of the shooting range, Golden Chocobo.
“For me?” I blinked.
“Of course.” He rolled his eyes. “If I don’t give it to you. You’ll keep staring at me as if you are having a grudge on me.” He smirked.
“I-I will not.” I flushed.
“Ojou-chan!” Baku called.
“Yes?”
“Here. A consolation prize.” Baku gave me two droppy chocobo hat. “Thanks to Ojou-chan, I have a great laugh today.” Baku grinned.
“Thank you!” I quickly put it on my head, while keeping the headband I got on my small backpack I brought. “Noct, you wear one too.” I gave the hat to him. The said man obediently bends down his body so I can put it on him. “We match!” I laughed happily, completely missing his softened look to me.
“Bahahaha! I pray for your success, an-chan.” Baku laughed.
“Thanks.” Noct replied. While I completely don’t understand what they were talking about. “Let’s go. We still have many attractions to ride.” He tugged my hand along.
“Yes!” ‘I think whether this is a dream or reality, this will be the happiest day of my live.’
Our next destination is, “Chocobo House!!!” I shrieked at the sight. I rush to the house, wanting to see it up close and personal.
“Hey! Don’t run!” I heard Noct’s warning.
“Don’t worry! I am not a child. I won’t fall down. Hurry up! Hurry up!” I urged him.
“We need to buy tickets first.” He sighed.
“Ah.” I blinked, completely forgotten that. Noct rolls his eyes as he pays for the tickets.
“Thank you for the purchase. Please enjoy the house.” The staff smiled.
Chocobo House, truly befitting the name. The house is basically Chocobo den. Look right, there will be a lot of Chocobo. Look left, there will be a lot of Chocobo. Look up, there will be a lot of Chocobo lantern. Look down, the tile is Chocobo pattern. And in the center if the house, there is the fat Chocobo.
“….Can I take that home?” I muttered out loud.
“Will it fit in your room?” Noct sweatdropped.
“I have an unused room. It will fit there. I can just move my Chocobo shrine there.” My eyes sparkled.
“Oi oi oi. Will they even let you buy it. Rather, even if they are willing to sell. Does your pocket money enough?” Noct sighed.
“Hmmm…. I should really get a part time job.” I muttered as I trying to calculate how much the Fat Chocobo will cost.
“Wait! Wait! They are selling the miniature version of Fat Chocobo. Let’s take a look.” Noct dragged me to the merchandise counter. In the end, I buy the Fat Chocobo plushie. More precisely, it was bought for me.
“I could buy it myself. You’ve paid for the rides and tickets. I can at least buy the merchandise myself.” I pouted and frowned as I hugged the plushie.
“It’s fine. I just want to. My father told me I need to spoil you to win your heart. He even willingly and happily to let me spend money to make you his daughter in law.” He muttered.
“Hm? What did you say?” I couldn’t hear the second part of his sentences.
“Nothing. Let’s ride that next.” He pointed to the Chocobo-go-round.
“Okay!” ~”~
“I am hungry~” I whined as I sat on the park bench.
“It’s already 1.00 p.m.” Noctis said as he looked at his watch. “The food court is over there.” Noctis said.
“Yosh! After lunch, we are going to continue.” I beamed, while my companion just shook his head at my antics. “Hey, don’t tell me you don’t enjoy it. Because we know it’s a lie.” I pointed my finger to him.
“I never said I didn’t.” He chuckled.
“Then all is well.” I grinned.
We are sitting in the food court, waiting for our order. The topic of our conversation is the hellish timing our friends have. “They are definitely…” I trailed off.
“…Doing this in purpose…” He finished.
“There’s no way they have this kind of convenient timing of not going. Well, in Zack’s case… he might be really grounded.” I giggled as we glanced secretly to the seats behind us.
“He-hey! Don’t be too noisy, they’ll find out.” A familiar voice of Tifa was heard.
“But, I can’t hear what are they talking about.” Yuffie whined.
“What a sloppy tailing.” I sniggered.
“They really… have too much free time.” Noct sighed.
“They seem don’t know that we’ve know they tailed us from the start.” I laughed merrily, really enjoying this charade. From the corner of my eyes, I can see now they are fighting for food, Zack and Cloud plus Yuffie. “Let’s caught them red handed later.” I laughed.
“Here are your orders.” A kind waitress set down our food.
“Thank you.” We thanked her.
“Please enjoy!” She smiled cheerily.
“Thanks for the food.” ~”~
“Noct. Let’s go over there.” I pointed to an ice-cream stall.
“Didn’t you just eat lunch?” He blinked.
“If it’s for ice cream, I am sure my stomach will make more room.” I answered.
“….What flavor?” He could only helplessly ask.
“Sea-salt ice cream!” I said excitedly.
“Wait here.” He told me and he is off to the stall.
“Ah, I want ice cream too.” I heard Yuffie whined.
“If we go now. We’ll be caught.” Stella reminded.
“But… ice cream…” I could already imagine her face looked like a kicked puppy.
“We need to endure.” Luna said sternly.
“Here.” Noct came back with an ice cream.
“Where is yours?” I blinked as I took the ice cream.
“I am good.” He said.
“Is that so?” I licked the ice. “Mmmnn… It’s delicious.” My eyes sparkled. “Here. Have a taste. It’s delicious. Delicious food should be shared to double the deliciousness.” I grinned.
“…Then, I’ll be happy to oblige.” He smiled softly as eat the ice from my hand.
“How is it? Isn’t it delicious?” I asked animatedly.
“Yeah. It’s delicious.” A ghost smile on his lips.
“See! I told you, you should buy one for yourself.” I said smugly. I quickly devour the ice cream until I realize what have I done. *Poof* ‘He ate mine…. Indirect kiss… No no no, let’s not think about it.… Okay, breathe in… breathe out… It’s okay. It’s just indirect kiss. No biggie….NO! it’s not okay for my heart! Does he even realized what he has done! I know I was the one offered it to him, but…’
“Why is your face red? Is it heatstroke?” He frowned.
“No! I am fine! Completely fine. It’s only a little bit too hot! It’s not a heatstroke!” The completely flustered me squeaked out. “Let’s go there!” I randomly pointed a ride and hurried there, missing the knowing smirk on his face.
The clock has shown 5.30 p.m. the only remaining ride is, “Hey, Noct. Let’s ride Chocobo Wheel.” I dragged him to the line. The said man allows me to drag him, he’s suprisingly obidient.
The Ferris Wheel stops when we are at the top. “When are we going to catch them red handed?” He smirked.
“You’ll see.” I grinned mischievously. “As expected from the highest point. I can see all of them park from here. It’s beautiful.” I was awed by the breathtaking view.
“Indeed…” What I didn’t know is, he wasn’t talking about the view.
The ride has ended. We are back on the land. “Ah! I have to call Squeon, first. I am worried about Rinoa.” I said out loud, letting our stalkers hear. “If he has something he needs, I can swing to the nearest drug store.” I fished out my phone from my bag. Can practically hear the nervous choked sounds from our stalkers. I push the speed dial button number 1. A familiar ringtone rings. My smile widens when I heard that.
“Hello!” I waved to them. We catch our stalkers red handed. “I thought you all have some kind of troubles.” I raised my brow.
“Ahahahha… We were just...uh…worried about you two. Yes, we were worried.” Zack laughed nervously, which then elbowed by Aerith for stuttering.
“So, did you guys get nice pictures? Because I am expecting it.” I snickered.
“I thought you were grounded, Zack.” Noct smirked.
“Hey, everyone! The photos are done. What are- “Yuffie stopped in mid sentence when she saw us. “Ahahahaha. Hello, [Name].” Yuffie greeted me.
“Geh! Noct!” Prompto gasped.
“Yuffie~, Prompto ~ What about those pictures in your hands?” I asked with a smile etched on my face.
“O-oh, th-this is..” She trailed off, senaking a glance on me, I still waiting her answer with a smile. “Eheheheh.... Okay, I give up. Here, all yours.” She gave us the photos they took. To put it simply, those are our candid photos. There are also the others but mostly about me and Noctis.
“Awww, this one is soo cute.” Tifa cooed. The pictures she chooses is the one when Noct was eating my ice cream. The angle is good. It’s just quite embarrassing.
“Heheh. Mine is this.” Luna chose the time when I put Chocobo hat on Noct.
“Oh. I like this one.” Stella picked our competition in shooting range.
“This one is good.” Aerith liked the one where I hug the huge Fat Chocobo in Chocobo House.
“Oookay. Let’s save this for later. For the last ride, we’ll go on Chocobo Jet. I will not allow any objection.” I exclaimed happily. For the last ride. We are fortunate the ride is enough for all of us.
“It was fun! It’s been a while I play this much.” I stretched.
“We should come here together again.” Rinoa smiled.
“Agreed! But no more stalking.” I laughed.
Time sure flies fast. It’s already one week before Christmas, we the girls are shopping for Christmas gift. ‘Sooo, what should I buy? Let’s just buy what they can use everyday.’ The other girls already busy choosing their own gifts. I am just strolling in the accesorries shop. After all of us finished, we head back to home. ~”~
It’s finally Christmas. The girls agreed to gather at Tifa’s house and give a make-over to each other, while I opted to not involved which is not an option. I am also dragged in to the whole fiasco. Exactly 7 p.m. We heard the knock, signaling the boy group has come.
“Merry Christmas.” Zack said excitedly.
“Merry Christmas.” We greeted. After we greeted each other, the party starts. I give them their respective gifts. Earrings for Tifa, bracelet for Yuffie, a necklace for Stella and Luna, a phone case for Vincent, a dress for Aerith, a google for Cloud, another dress for Rinoa and a for Zack, my self proclaimed brother, I gave him a pair of shoes. For my dearest cousin, it’s a leather jacket.
I am now down to the last person, but the said person isn’t in the room. The gift is still clutched in my hand. I see Tifa tilts her head to the yard, I nod and flash a grateful smile.
I found him gazing stars. ��Not going to enter?” I asked.
Noctis glances at me and then back to the stars. “Too noisy.” Was his short answer. I laugh lightly at his short, but clear answer.
There is a comfortable silence between us, until I remember the reason I searched him. “Here.” I gave him the small blue box.
“For me?” I nodded at his question. Then he also pulls out something small from his pocket and gives it to me. I look at the gift curiously. I try to guess what’s in this little black box. Seeing the blatant curiosity on my face, Noctis chuckles. “Open it.” He said. With that said, I open the box excitedly. There, in the black box there is a ring necklace. My name is carved on the ring. My eyes widened and let out a small laugh. Noctis only stares at me with raised eyebrow.
“Open my gift.” I said still laughing. With a strange look he opens the box. His eyes also widen, there in the blue box I gave him, there’s also a same ring necklace. the only difference is the carved names. Then a small laugh also escapes from his lips.
“Will you allow me to escort you in the winter ball?” He asked.
This question caught me off guard. I never thought he will ask me let alone think about it. I look left, right and then behind me to see if someone is there. “…Are you practicing so you can ask Luna?” I blinked.
“Why are you bringing up Luna?” He frowned.
“Eh? Why? Because isn’t that so?” I was taken back.
“It’s not.” He sighed exasperated.
“Then… If you are fine with me. I’ll be happy to take on your offer.” I smiled. ~”~
The day before the ball. The girls agree to meet up again in Tifa’s house right after school. They are going to match the dress they’ve bought with their accessories. “Hm? [Name], where’s your dress?” Luna asked.
“Ah, I don’t have one I was sure I am going alone, so I didn’t buy dress. I am going to wear school uniform. The rule didn’t specifically say the dress code is an evening dress.” I smiled sheepishly.
“School…” (Stella)
“Uni…” (Aerith)
“…form” (Tifa)
“You said?!” (Luna)
“Huh? Isn’t Noctis escorting you?” Yuffie blinked.
“He did two days ago. It’s just, I don’t have time to pick up dress. So, I am going to wear school uniform.” I nodded.
“Change of plan.” Stella said seriously.
“Yes. We have a change of plan.” Luna agreed.
“Huh?” I blinked.
“We are going to shop for your dress right now.” Aerith smiled.
“Eh? Right now. We don’t have that much time…anymore.” I finished timidly, seeing their scary smiles.
“Sorry [Name}. Even I can’t help you.” Yuffie said. ~”~
At last, the most dreaded day that I wish never come is finally here. 28th December, that means the winter ball. ‘Why it has to be a ballroom, can we just change to more casual party?’ I groaned.
“[Name], you shouldn’t put that kind of face. You are the prince’s date, are you not?” Zack teased.
“The said prince has the same opinion as me.” I said unamused. The girls and the boys wear a matching color, including Noct and I. Apparently, Luna called Noct and asked, no demanded him to wear a cobalt blue suit, so he can match with my dress.
The hall is decorated just like a real ballroom. There are also snacks and drinks there. Once we enter the hall, Reno instantly flies to the other side of the hall sweet talking to a group of girls. The others asked their dates to dance with them. Being a gentleman he is, our favourite prince also asks me to dance. “I can’t dance.” I smiled wryly.
“Don’t worry. Just follow my lead. Waltz is an easy dance.” He said taking my hand. We dance peacefully until someone with the name of Tachibana Kirika ruins it.
“Noctis dear~” She called with such coquettish voice that it actually made me had a goosebumps. “I am sure I can be a better partner than this plain looking girl.” Tachibana-san winked at him.
“Sorry if I am plain looking. At least, you should learn how to wear a proper make up. The color doesn’t suit you.” I rolled my eyes.
“No, thank you.” He refused politely.
But that sets Tachibana-san in rage. “Exactly what did you see in this girl?” She screeched and pointed her finger to me. “I am prettier and a ton of guys asked me to be their date.” She yelled.
Noctis narrows his eyes. “Then, you can have them to accompany you. Listen, I am tired of your antics. Don’t you dare badmouth her! The next time you do so, I won’t forgive you!” Noctis snapped. Then, Noct storms out from the hall, leaving the said girl there standing dumbfounded and biting her fingernail.
‘Wow, this is the first time I see him angry.’ I too, quietly leaving the hall searching for my partner.
“So, you are here.” I said after I found him on the rooftop. He only stands there unmoving. “Still angry?” I asked.
“Not anymore.” He answered.
“I doubt she will stalk you after your outburst just now.” I laughed.
“She better be.” He let out a snort.
“Hey, Noct.”
“Hm?”
“What was the meaning of the word carved in the golden watch?” I asked as I took out the watch from my dress’ small pocket.
“Are you curious about that?” He asked.
“Very.” Was my answer.
“That is-” He walked closer to me without breaking the eye contact. He stands right in front of me, making me wait with bated breath. He bends down so his mouth right beside my ear, and whispers softly. “Eternal bond.” After saying that, he stood straight. A small smile on his lip, satisfied with my now blushing face.
“You-! Can just say it normally.” I glared at him. The futile glare only makes him smiles. He pulls me toward him. “Wha-” I blinked rapidly as he pressed his lips to mine.
‘Unable to process. [Name].exe crashed.’
I suddenly wake up from my nap and look at my surrounding. I am in my room, the same room before all of that happen, my workbook is still on my desk untouched. “I see, that was a dream after all.” I said disappointed. I blush again remembering the last part of the dream. “What an outrageous dream I had.” I sweatdropped. I put my finger on my lips as if I can still feel the warmth.
“[Name], you idiot. That was just a dream.” I scolded myself. “Rather than thinking about it, I should take a bath.” I mumbled walking to the bathroom. Unbeknown to me there are a ring necklace with my name and a golden watch with its lid opened on my desk.
“Our bond is eternal”
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