#and i have Lots Of Thoughts about that
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eadwulf grieve is not a person.
he is a weapon. a live weapon, an arcane weapon, a valuable weapon, but a weapon. his worth is in the blood he draws, in the lives he takes. people rarely make good weapons – they cut too easily, break too quickly when bent – but he can tend to the blood and the breaks, can be a good blade. a weapon is not a person.
he is the muscle. he was chosen for a kind of strength that the others like him didn't possess. his true purpose is in his flesh, it is his flesh. all the others have a mind like his, some surely far better than his. his thoughts are replaceable, insignificant. he matters most of all because he is a body and least of all because he is a mind. a body is not a person.
he is a machine. manufactured, refined, branded, released. he takes orders and executes them, does what he's told, does his job, doesn't ask questions. whatever small measures of individuality he may cling to are irrelevant. he lives free only because he does as he is asked. a machine is not a person.
he is the wolf. a hunter sent to stalk its prey, an animal caged and if ever not caged then certainly chained, kept on a leash until sicced on whoever has been causing problems for his master. he's always been an excellent scout – keen senses, acute focus, know a mark and sniff them out, let nothing stay hidden. a beast is not a person.
he is a ghost. relegated to the shadows, always hidden, always haunting, making his home in the unseen and the unheard and the unnoticed. he reaches out to touch the world and the world feels nothing in return. he is only ever watching, only ever the observer, known to the living only through things thrown and shattered and torn. a spirit is not a person.
he is part of a whole. he is astrid's other half, an extension of trent's will, a single cell in the sprawling organism of the volstrucker. he lives always latched to another, joined to the point of indistinguishability. he would be dead without them; he would be nothing without them. a piece is not a person.
a boy named eadwulf died years ago, killed alongside his loving parents, the spark of life choked mercilessly out of them all. he is buried, now, at the bottom of an unmarked grave deep within a ribcage, tucked safely in an old emptiness where once there might have been a beating heart.
the dark thing that walked back out of the house that night was something hollowed, something jagged, something changed.
what remains of eadwulf grieve is not a person.
#eadwulf 'i didnt die but i think i still came back wrong' grieve#lots of thoughts about wulf's relationship to personhood and humanity and humanity and the general concept of Being#lots of thoughts about the ways he might've broken that night. because i know they all did#the whole point of the test *was* to break them#bren's the only one that didn't break cleanly enough to stay useful to trent but they absolutely all broke#they have to be broken or trent can't put them back together in his image#so like. to be clear none of this is Actually True about wulf#but i think this is how he sees it#that he's something less than a person now#he strikes me as the most affected by what i assume was some form of identity/individuality stripping done by trent to the volstrucker#and i have Lots Of Thoughts about that#cr meta#(i think?? im never quite sure what counts as meta i tag it solely based on vibes)#eadwulf grieve#c2#the mighty nein#critical role#critical role meta
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I understand that tall men are our POV characters, but surely being like a foot taller than everyone around them would have some occasional consequences
#youd think thisd happen at least a little bit#I love stuff in fantasy where they'll occasionally talk about how weird humans are. it comes up a few times in the story but honestly I do#love it a lot. especially that troll stuff I thought that was pretty cool#laios touden#falin touden#marcille donato#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#chilchuck tims#arts#GODAMN IT I SPELT HIS NAME WRONG I KNEW I SHOULD HAVNT HAVE RUSHED THE DIALOUGE
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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death of the magician
#my art#arcane#arcane spoilers#viktor#im going crazy actually. despite having many uhh thoughts about s2 i have a lot i want to draw for it
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I think if a fairy showed up at my house like yeah they are not real but there is narrative precedent for that. a fairy, if it existed, would show up at a house. i just need to suspend one disbelief everything else tracks. it's a big surprise, but a singular one. i would know how to get with the programm pretty quick.
if a walrus knocked at my door there would be many more fucking questions than one. a walrus showing up at my house? knowing that knocking is the required social etiquette? having reasons to knock on my door and somehow the ability to do that despite having no arms? said walrus coming to me of all people?? a walrus being real is the least of my concerns at that point why the fuck does it need my help what kind of problem can I solve that a socially aware and apparently findextrous walrus fucking can't
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the fact that alfred was the one to put up jason's memorial is so important to me
#alfred's military background and his sudden shove into parenthood are things i think about a lot#alfred using the term 'soldier' as something honourable. as something to take pride in.#alfred putting 'a good soldier' on jason's plaque to show his care#the voice in bruce's head referring to his children as his soldiers sounding suspiciously like alfred's#bruce initially refusing to acknowledge jason's existence after his death bc it's the only way he can keep going#& alfred saying 'i will not let you do this. if you will not acknowledge him in your daily life i will make you do so every night'#because alfred doesn't know how to acknowledge the absence of a child either#besides going about your life and praying hoping wishing that they return somehow safe and sound#but he knows how to honour fallen soldiers.#and he will help you in the only way that he can.#sorry i just have so many thoughts about this#(justice league 19)#alfred pennyworth#jason todd#red hood#bruce wayne#batman
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arthur morgan tiddies and tummy thats all im gonna say
#my art#arthur morgan#rdr2 arthur#arthur morgan rdr2#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#man i have so many feelings about him#thinking a lot of thoughts#like that happy trail im currently staring at#no im not i gotta go guys bye
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but the show must go on
#genshin impact#furina#focalors#ever makes art#how about that archon quest huh!!!#i have a lot of thoughts about fontaine....... but the one i have the most thoughts about is#the theme of 'justice for all at the cost of suffering for a few'#focalors is so fascinating... the cruel calculus of what her gambit costs is very cool and sexy
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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supporting communities & people impacted by the Southport attack and the far-right riots in the UK
here is a list of community fundraisers I found, starting with those aiming to support the Southport community after the appalling attack at a children dance party, to the fundraisers helping those affected by the subsequent racist and Islamophobic far-right/nazi riots
Edited on 5 August to include Middlesbrough fundraisers. Edited on 6 August to correct the link on the Books for Spellow Lane fundraiser, to adjust the name change for the Belfast fundraiser, and to adjust the wording in the second last paragraph.
Southport:
Southport Strong Together Appeal - organised by the community foundation for Merseyside, for those affected by the Southport knife attack
United for Southport families - the funds will be distributed among the nine families of the children who were at the party
Swifties for Southport - a fundraiser for the Alder Hey Children's charity, which supports the victims and the affected families, as well as first responders and clinicians. Extra funds will also support the wider Southport community
Fundraiser for the Southport Mosque - a fundraiser to aid rebuilding or possibly re-locating the Southport Mosque after the damages it suffered during the riots
Rebuilding Windsor Mini Mart - fundraiser to rebuild the locally-owned grocery store that was targeted during the attacks, broken into, and looted
Liverpool:
Fundraiser for the Spellow Hub - the Spellow Hub was broken into, looted and set on fire at night during the riots. The Spellow Hub is a newly created one-of-a-kind (in the UK) institution, which consists of a library as well as a community centre with a mission to help people get education and pathways to work
Books for Spellow Lane - another fundraiser for the library in the Spellow Hub, to replace the books and rebuild the library there edit: included the correct link
Hartlepool:
Fundraiser for the Nasir Mosque - the Nasir Mosque was attacked following Southport riots; this fundraiser is organised by Hartlepool citizens to help the mosque deal with the damages as well as to show appreciation for the role of the mosque in the community. edit: the funds will be also distributed to the local community!
Rebuilding the Farm Shop - the shop was targeted during the riots, and when the owner and his son tried to protect it, they were also violently attacked. The fundraiser is to help fix the damages to the store.
Sunderland:
help rebuild Citizens Advice Sunderland offices after arson - two of the Citizens Advice Sunderland offices were set on fire during the riots, and one of them is completely destroyed.
Hull:
Hull Help for Refugees - a local fundraiser to support the Hull Help for Refugees charity, the donated money will be re-distributed to community members affected by the riots
Fundraiser for Hull Help for Refugees and Welcome House in Hull - collected money will be donated to the two charities
Belfast:
help fix racially motivated damages - originally the fundraiser for the Sahara Shisha Cafe which was targeted by the far right in Belfast during the riots, now a fundraiser for all affected businesses in the area. edited to reflect the change of the name of the fundraiser to avoid any confusion
Middlesbrough:
Supporting residents after the riots - Middlesbrough has suffered so much during the riots, lots of businesses as well as just regular family homes were vandalised, had their windows smashed or even were broken into. This fundraiser wants to distribute the funds between affected people to help them fix the damages, and to generally support the local community. the newest fundraiser, imo potentially the most urgent one
Fundraiser for a Care worker's car which was set on fire - a car belonging to an employee of a care agency was set on fire during the riots while he was on shift at a care home.
If you want to donate locally but there is no fundraiser to support where you live, consider donating to your local charities oriented towards Muslim or PoC communities, or towards anti-racist and refugee organizations! And go support your local Muslim/Arab/Black/Asian/Refugee owned businesses!
If you have any information about other local fundraisers, feel free to add to the post or don't hesitate to let me know and I will add them here! We have seen so much hate in the past few days, we have to stay strong and keep supporting each other!
Stay safe everyone 💛
#uk riots community fundraising#there is a lot more fundraisers for Southport but these are the major ones#it's difficult to find more local riot damages fundraisers however because those tend to be shared locally only and it hasn't been long#since the riots so i assume more will be created in the next few days#so if you know about any and want to add them here please feel free to drop me a link! It'd be good to have them in one place#tumblr has a decently sized uk community so if this post finds at least one person who learns about a local fundraiser i'd be happy#not that you have to donate locally of course. i encourage eveyrone to donate. you dont even have to be british!#southport#uk#uk riots#england#uk far right#far right extremism#uk news#uk politics#ukpol#racism#islamophobia#nationalism#fundraisers#octarine talks#there are other ways you can support your community through all this and i highly encourage that. i thought about writing about that here#but ultimately this is a fundraiser post and you know your community best - just go talk to people and give your support#or help clean up#or attend the antifacist marches and demos and vigils
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FNAF Into the pit? More like into the daddy issues
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#pit bonnie#fnaf oswald#into the pit#fnaf sister location#william afton#SO THERES this concept I saw (and I also thought of) going around#and that’s the idea how pit Bonnie treats Oswald is similar to how William treated Michael#obviously not all the chasing and more spooky monster parts#but specifically a lot of the at home scenes#where pit Bonnie acts normalism almost like a stern father#I like this idea a lot it’s very interesting to think about#I can imagine Michael actually meeting the pit and being like yeah that’s like my dad#like that’s how he mostly remembers him too#it’s kinda funny and kinda sad#Oswald definitely just feel so lucky to have his dad#Oswald fr got the better end of the ‘fnaf parents’ stick 💀#love you Michael deserve so much more than you got 💜
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Soup solves everything.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#Senshi#izutsumi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#marcille donato#THE SOUP CHAPTER HAS BEEN ANIMATED#I have so many thoughts about senshi's backstory and how much that experience has shaped who he is.#This is such a powerful moment because it makes it clear how *stuck* senshi has been because of his trauma.#Up until now he has been a mystery! He's the chef guy! Don't worry about his apparent reclusiveness from society!#Don't worry about his intense need to make sure 'the young ones are fed'!#Senshi still has a lot of healing but this was the moment he could finally forgive himself.#This chapter is so important to me because sometimes you truly do need to face the most terrifying things to move past them.#This joke here is a bit too narrow to be funny for the masses...but mdzs fans know.#MDZS :handshake: Dungeon Meshi: Soup moment.#Laios and Jiang Yanli have a powerful magic call "Eat some soup and maybe you'll feel better'#That is also a spell you can cast upon yourself. Go eat some soup and you will feel better. Merry Soupmas everyone.#One more week of Thistle Thursdays....I'm not ready to say goodbye B*(
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I like thinking about how Blitzø and Stolas are compatible in their messed up ways, but there's one clear incompatibility between them, on ground on their unresolved traumas;
Blitzø has anger issues, overactive fight reaction
while Stolas has been verbally attacked & abused by Stella for at least 17 years
Stolas has avoidant issues, overactive flight reaction
while Blitzø has been abandoned and ignored by many people practically whole his life
So it fucks with their relationship.
In Ozzie's Stolas avoids confrontation, Blitzø feels he's ashamed of him and gets upset and aggressive after giving Stolas a lift.
Later in the series, Stolas texts less and ,,gives Blitzø space" which makes Blitzø worried that he's not wanted anymore. Then when he's offered the crystal, it triggers him, making him convinced completely that he's being abandoned again. He jokes rudely, Stolas feels he's mocked and so he leaves, which causes Blitzø to lash out, which causes Stolas to kick him out...
They really need to resolve their internal problems first in order to work out
#sorry i just have lots of thoughts about them#helluva boss#stolitz#blitzø#stolas#ozzie's#the full moon#blitzo#stolas goetia
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I remember I had a concept about alternative ending of sl where michael brings ennard home and jus lives very normal life with a killing machine...
also here's ennard with da cat
#yep they are besties in my head#also sibling coded not only bc elizabeth but ennard taking michael clothes to cover themselves when going outside#i am having thoughts about them like a lot#fnaf#michael afton#ennard#fnaf sister location#cat#2k...#3k.....#4k!!!#5k??!!#6k wha-#7k guys r u crazy...#8k#9k bro#10k happy new year!!
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im not putting this post into words. beams into your mind The Parallels
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#not a new thought at all of course but i havent seen a post thorough enough for Me. the guy who thinks about it a lot#and this isnt all my thoughts either but it at least Touches on each element that i think about...#honestly where i could talk for ages is where the similar things were Different for them. but harder to organize#if you actually went and looked at all these panels with me. thank you for coming to this Presentation and Journey#i hope my Beam is having an Effect.#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon#thistle dungeon meshi#marcille donato#long post#can i be forrealsies i made this post ages ago and was just referencing it while drafting one About the contrasts and accidentally hit post#so ig might as well keep it up instead of hoarding it in my drafts. and maybe ill post That essay here someday#tistle tag
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been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading
#i haven't drawn in like. half a month. which listen i know i don't post much here but i do draw a lot#i have another blog. but also sometimes i just don't post things. i draw for myself#just got burnt out from working on an animation final 😔#so anyway. eased myself back in with a silly comic about portal#my irl saw my shitty sketch and thought glados was painting chell which is very funny to me.#chelldos#but like. unrequited. glados is obsessed with chell. chell is not having a good time#portal#chell#GlaDOS#GlaD0S#my art#og post#1k#5k#10k#20k#edit: i made this post almost a year ago and it haunts me. theres a typo. chell is out of character.#because i couldn't come up with a good reason for her to be there in the first place#and this was a shitty ms paint replicating drawing that i did just to get back into drawing#i didn't think it would gain much attention#i was Wrong#anyway someone in the comments said this is what happens when you speedrun thats an infintely better setup for the punchline#EDIT 2: ok i fixed it fuck you
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