#and i got a little habit forming of just... mentally thanking them

[martyrbat]

forming parosocial relationships with the people in the medical book </3

[venomhound]

Hazbin Hotel - Morning Routines

Kind of a part 2 to the Sleeping Habits Post??? While that one is about falling asleep with them, this one is about what its like to wake up with them. Same lineup; Alastor, Vox, and Lucifer. I... also might have accidentally started a Charlie one so I might be doing more parts to these (｡ŏ_ŏ)

Contents/WARNINGS: Gender neutral reader; NSFW in Vox's section; mostly just nuclear powered fluff; somebody PLEASE get Lucifer a doctor the man is so depressed (18+), MDNI, NSFW below the cut ˋˏ��┈┈┈┈

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Alastor ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

As gone over in my sleeping habits post, Alastor does not like sharing a bed normally. But if it does happen to be a blue moon and he actually stayed the whole night; it is a sight to behold in the morning.

Alastor's hair is naturally curly. Due to internalized racism (from you know, the 1920s), Alastor insists his hair must be straight and has a crazy hair routine to keep it that way. One of many reasons why his hair is so... gnarly looking.

Right after he wakes up in the mornings though, his bedhead breaks through the illusion. You get to see the glorious sight of Alastor's hair attempting to go back to its natural form. The edges of his locks are making small loops in all directions, and his face is framed in loose ringlets.

Unfortunately, this only lasts for about ten minutes at most before he goes to "fix" it.

Other then getting to see that beautiful sight, the mornings are the same regardless of if he stayed in the bed with you or not; You always get to wake up to his wonderful cooking.

Alastor has unfortunately had to take it upon himself to be the hotel chef. Charlie did try to do it for a little bit, but that resulted in more fires and ambiguous remains then anything. Vaggie and Husk can barely operate a microwave. Nifty is well... Nifty.

So Alastor pops into the hotel kitchen at around 7am to start cooking breakfast for the hotel. More 7:30 if his hair has been particularly unruly that day.

Alastor pokes fun at everyone over being their chef, but he really likes it actually. He will never admit that to anyone though. He finds the mornings relaxing because he gets to just cook, something that he enjoys and thats deeply nostalgic for him. It starts him off on the right foot for the day.

The only times it starts him on the wrong foot, is when Lucifer decides to get up at an ungodly hour (or straight up pull an all nighter), just so he can steal the kitchen and make the hotel breakfast instead.

Lucifer does this because he thinks he is a better chef then Alastor. Surely, Alastor's annoyance is proof of that! But Alastor is actually pissed off because his plans for the morning got set on fire by Lucifer's dumb ego.

Alastor really does go above and beyond as the chef by the way. For a cannibal, you would never expect how respectful he is of everyone's dietary preferences. If your a vegetarian, or even a vegan, Alastor won't blow you off. He will make something for everyone that still works for you, or just make you something special. He sees it less as you having a dietary restriction and more as a challenge of his skills.

Anyways, thanks to Alastor, mornings at the hotel are always extremely nice. Everyone comes down to eat together, hang out, and just be. Its a tranquil time and atmosphere that he has taken great care to cultivate. Sets him up perfectly mentally for his afternoon radio shows.

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Vox ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

Vox always wakes up with a big sigh. He is very much that type of person whose first thought when waking up is, 'goddamn it, I woke up'. Hates leaving the bed but knows he has to.

At least Vox stops having those thoughts when you become apart of his life.

If your still in the bed when he wakes up, Vox is immediately comforted by your weight on his chest. He cant help but smile as his arms tighten around you. One of Vox's hands starts absentmindedly carding through your hair as he goes over everything he has to do that day in his head.

If your not in the bed when Vox wakes up, it completely fucks with his mind. His sleeping body does not register you moving or getting up at all. So from Vox's perspective, you were in his arms one second then... not. Vox will wake up to you not there and be super confused. He will legit start looking for you like a puppy.

Depending on your relationship status with him, Vox might even just assume that he dreamt/hallucinated the whole encounter with you. Only realizing that it actually happened upon outside evidence.

Operating on the assumption that you two are a thing; Vox now tries to keep his mornings flexible because of you. They used to be very regimented. Vox would wake up, get dressed, grab a coffee, then be right out the door to head to work. But now that your here, the mornings are much more relaxed.

When you first move in, Vox's first order of business is to hire a personal chef. Don't get me wrong, Vox loves it when you cook for him. The guy absolutely melts when you do. But the reality is he loves it a little... too much. Which often results in no breakfast actually being had because Vox ends up dragging you back to the bedroom. Of course, that's if he doesn't end up fucking you right on the counter or kitchen table.

Look. Seeing you by the stove in an apron just does something to him, alright?

If you ever even asked Vox if he knew how to cook, the guy would probably bluescreen. The only thing he knows how to ""cook"" is 'takeout'. (image included) If he tried to boil an egg, he would burn the water.

So yeah. Vox takes initiative to get you two a chef. He doesn't want you to have to cook for him anyway; he wants it to be an act of love rather then an obligation. If you push Vox and say you want to cook for him, he will making heart eyes and be ready to marry you on the spot.

Seriously. Make him cute, homemade lunches for work. Vox will brag about them to everyone. Put adorable love notes in there and everything. The guy will be on his knees.

Regardless of who actually made the breakfast, Vox always has it with you. He may be a busy man, but he makes sure this is a time you get him exclusively. Vox lets you know of his schedule for the day (assuming Valentino doesnt set it on fire ofc) and when he plans on being home.

When Vox leaves for work he actually has a genuine smile on his face. Don't get me wrong, he still hates it and cant wait to get back home to you. But Vox doesn't feel that same crushing dread that he did before.

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Lucifer ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

It used to be so hard to get up for him. It wasn't uncommon for Lucifer to just wallow in bed for an entire day. But now that your here, everything has changed. Lucifer actually has a reason to get up in the mornings again. He used to just go back to sleep and pretend the world doesn't exist.

He is a morningbird by nature, so he often wakes up before you. However, Lucifer hates leaving your arms and the cozy bed. So one of two things happens depending on how he is feeling.

If Lucifer is feeling good, or just particularly lovey that morning; he will pull you extra close to him and start kissing all over you. You'll wake up to the wonderful feeling of fleeting kisses and his smile on your skin. No better way to start the day.

As soon as he notices your awake, Lucifer moves to place quick, chaste kisses all over your face. All while asking, "How are you feeling, Ducky?", "Did you sleep okay?", "Have any fun dreams?".

Lucifer looks at you with the most adoring look in his eyes, desperate to snuggle and feel your skin on his. He wants to listen to you talk about anything and everything.

After awhile of cuddling and pillow talk, you have to be the one to convince Lucifer to get up. He will playfully whine and try to keep you in the bed, but he won't keep it up for long. Lucifer also cant wait to make you a wonderful breakfast and talk more while he cooks too~

Lucifer is a chatterbox when he wants to be. Especially with someone he loves. He basically wants to imbibe your entire being; that includes getting to know every random thought you have and every dark corner of your mind.

But if Lucifer feels the weight of depression weighing him down that morning, he simply snuggles deeper into you when he wakes. His grip on you tightens, and he pulls the sheets tighter around you two. Like he is building a cocoon or trying to shield you both from the outside.

Sometimes you can tell as soon as he wakes up that he is in a bad state. Instead of kisses, you are woken up by the trembling of his small form. Shaking with unshed tears and fresh pain from old wounds.

Lucifer clings to you desperately; the grip of his claws threatening to break your skin. You have to physically force him away from you just so you can look him in the eyes. Even then, Lucifer whimpers and tries to hug you tighter in protest.

He will begin to plead with you. Saying things like "Don't leave me" or "Please stay". You kiss him gently and bring him into your chest as he finally begins to sob. You two stay there for a long time. Lucifer is extra clingy that day. Attached to you at the hip and always holding your hand in his. His heart rate picks up and he starts to get frantic if your fingers slip out of his.

Mornings with Lucifer are overall just very slow. Meandering. Lucifer's safe place has become the bed since the heights of his depression, so he is reluctant to leave it. Some dark part of him feels that the longer he can keep you in bed, the longer he wont have to say an inevitable 'goodbye'.

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FURTHER READING ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

Its a super silly idea, but I love >>THIS POST<< by @antiheroalastor where you find out Alastor has a extensive skincare routine.

Cute imagine by @voxisdaddy where Vox has to cuddle you to fall asleep can be found >>HERE<<

Then something more spicy, >>HERE<< are some ADORABLE Lucifer aftercare headcanons by @redr0sewrites. Rose writes the rambling, dorky, disaster Lucifer that I have envisioned in my head PERFECTLY.

[taesanrot]

[twenty questions] sungho x f!reader | 2.3k words college au, coworkers 2 luvrs, e2l kinda, forced proximity lolz note. thank uuuu to lovely anon who requested this <3 i need to write for sungho more this was sm funnn. nini’s summer writing era starts NOW.

park sungho is an actual fucking dumbass. he decides this as he stares at the newly formed wet spot at the front of your sweater, wincing at the deathly glare you're shooting him.

"you're kidding." you grumble, watching your wide eyed coworker scramble to the bathroom in search of napkins, and perhaps a baseball bat to knock himself out cold with.

for the longest time, you'd been the sole employee at your university's bookstore. it was a small store your uncle owned, and with how many other bookstores that ran in your college town, you didn't have much work to do or much foot traffic to counter.

but with your uncle and aunt travelling to spain for the majority of your semester, they decided to take on a couple more employees in consideration of the fact that you were just one person and the fact that you were starting university.

one of these new employees was none other than park sungho. the first time you met the boy, he was already 10 minutes late to his training shift. you let it go pretty easily though, seeing the panic on his face and the way he explained how he got lost on the way in between heavy breaths.

you found his nervous demeanor pretty cute at first, not to mention his raven hair that draped over his ears and framed his face prettily. sungho, on the other hand, was floored by you.

so floored in fact, that he'd found himself with a pretty bad habit of dropping whatever he was holding or tripping on air when he saw you.

you two had gotten into the routine of always nitpicking each other's mistakes, picking apart any little thing each other messed up. sometimes that was a mislabeled box, a mistake in the cash transactions, or stumbling on the stepladder while shelving new arrivals.

it was like you two were keeping a mental scoreboard of who was the clumsier employee, and most of the time you came out victorious, including today

the day had been nothing but ordinary, both you and sungho a bit bitter to have to be working on a saturday afternoon.

you walked up to the bookstore entrance to see sungho already leaning against the wall next to the door, scrolling on his phone before looking up and noticing you. upon your arrival, he sighed, causing you to turn and look at him as you typed in the security code into the entrance's keypad.

"look who’s finally here." he droned, glaring at your pretty fingers gliding across the buttons.

"oh, shut the fuck up." your eyes nearly rolled into the back of your head as you yanked the door open, nearly whacking sungho with it.

the shift dragged on as usual, boring and uneventful. you'd like to think you mentally jinxed it when you were smiling to yourself at how well the day was going. because less than a second later, sungho's chest was in your face and his cup of water from the break room was spilling onto you.

you didn't get the chance to hear what he had to say, groaning and tugging off your sweater and stomping into the break room.

after the whole water cup incident, sungho had definitely taken the brunt of the tormenting today. checking the time, he sighed and stretched out his arms. the final few shoppers were filing out and he followed behind them to lock the door after, tapping on the keypad and listening for the familiar beep and click.

cracking his knuckles, he walked behind the counter to begin closing the registers while you, now in just a tshirt, cleaned up around the store.

it was still light and balmy outside, the last rays of the sun resonating through the clear sky and casting a pinkish purple glow into the store, as you slowly found yourself squinting to read the section labels and book titles, you called out to sungho.

"sungho, it's dark, turn on the lights."

"yeah, yeah, whatever" sungho rolled his eyes even though you couldn't see him, leaving the front desk to find the light switch. you scoffed at his sarcasm, using the flashlight of your phone to illuminate your workspace.

"uhhh, y/n?" you looked toward the direction of your coworker's voice in confusion, wondering why the lights hadn't turned on yet. groaning, you hoisted yourself up to go find him, figuring that he simply couldn't operate a light switch.

"i swear to god if you're seriously getting bamboozled by a light switch--" your voice faded off as you found sungho and the switches, realizing all of them were flipped on.

"what the fuck is going on?" you asked, pushing the boy out of the way to properly look at the switchboard.

"i wish i fucking knew, y/n" he retorted sourly, clicking his phone open to check his texts. as you turned around to glare at him, you noticed his eyes widening at one of his notifications.

"what happened?" you inquired nervously, not particularly comforted by sungho's dreary expression.

"there's a fucking power outage." you groaned loudly in response, before your face blanched white.

"the back door." you stated monotonously, causing sungho to tilt his head in confusion.

"what about it?" he mumbled.

"whenever the power goes out, the emergency alarm system engages and it automatically locks all of the doors."

"does that mean-" sungho's question was interrupted as you bolted over to the back hallway. the boy stood in confusion, listening to the sound of your yanking the doorknob and kicking the back door.

"it's locked!" you yelled down the hall. sighing as you retired yourself to the break room. sungho joined you soon enough, not quite sure what else to do with himself.

"the generator will probably start up in a bit, we can just wait until then." you sighed out and sat down in defeat, laying your head down on the break room table.

maybe if i close my eyes and fall asleep this will go by quicker.

sleep was immediately out of the question, though, as the lack of heating sent a chill up your arms and legs. you really should've brought an extra sweater.

sungho watched your figure from the break room couch, looking back down at his phone to check the time. he sighed, shrugging off his jacket and moving over to you.

"here." you looked up to see the broad shouldered boy's jacket in front of you, hanging off of his outstretched hand.

"sungho, i'm fine."

"no, y/n you're shivering. plus it's my fault you're cold anyways. and come sit on the couch, it's warmer than sitting by the window." you met his eyes hesitantly as you grabbed the hoodie from his hands. slipping your arms into it, you sighed in relief as the boy's warmth encased you.

"thanks." you smiled and stood up to move and sit on the couch. sungho followed you quietly.

sitting on separate ends of the couch, an uncomfortable silence fell between the two of you. you didn't particularly want to kill the time scrolling through your phone, afraid it was going to die. looking over at sungho's side profile, you thought about how you've never really talked to him other than your stupid banter.

as if he'd read your mind, the boy turned to you.

"wanna play 20 questions?" you giggled at his silly inquiry.

"what?"

"don't you want to get to know your fabulous coworker better?" he smiled and held his chin in his hands dramatically, making you laugh again.

"sure."

over the past 15 minutes, you learned that you and park sungho liked the same music, had the same favorite show, and had fairly similar majors.

"how have i never had a class with you?" you breathed out in between giggles.

"actually, we have bio together." sungho spoke nervously, wondering what you were going to say next.

"no fucking way. you're lying." you stared at him blankly, reeling from shock. how had you never noticed him? why didn't he say anything? for a reason you couldn't decipher, it made you sad to think he might've avoided you in class.

"i'm serious! i'll show you my schedule." sungho exclaimed as he fished his phone out of his pocket. you moved over on the couch to sit next to him and peer over at his phone screen.

"why didn't you say anything?" sungho's cheeks flushed red, not that you could see it in the dark anyways, the whole room lit up dimly by the evening light.

"i don't know. i was nervous i guess." he spoke quickly, stuffing his phone back in his pocket and fiddling with his thumbs.

the idea of you making sungho nervous made your head spin. was it because you guys always bickered at work? you fought to not delude yourself into assuming it was for any other reason.

you slowly looked down at sungho's thigh that was mere inches away pressing against yours.

hm.

seeing how close he was to you, almost hearing his breathing, you don't know what came over you.

you scooted closer to him, fully letting your thigh rest against his and your shoulder kiss his bicep. sungho sucked in a breath.

this was normal, definitely. you two were just conserving body heat.

"y/n ..." sungho spoke quietly, his voice breaking the thick silence. you turned to meet his eyes just to see him avoiding your gaze.

"what?" you pouted teasingly, fighting not giggle at the way sungho was acting. you brought a hand to his lower thigh, fingers splaying across the thin fabric of his pants. sungho bit his lips and screwed his eyes shut, trying to think about anything other than you touching him.

your lungs and stomach burned as you decided to test the waters further, moving to slide your hand higher up. before you could move your fingers any further, a hand wrapped around your wrist.

"don't..." sungho's eyes bored into you in a way that made your cheeks flush. "don't play with me right now."

the boy's lips were parted slightly, expression almost pained as he breathed shallowly. your lips curled upwards. there was no going back anymore.

"i'm not playing." you whispered. that was all the boy needed to hear; before you could even blink his lips were on yours, hand moving from your wrist to slide behind your neck.

you gasped at the feeling of his plump lips against yours, hands grasping for his chest and clutching his shirt. you shifted to sit on his lap, sighing into sungho's mouth as you felt his other arm wrap around your waist. you swiped your tongue across the boy's lips. they parted immediately, beckoning for you to explore him further.

you moaned softly after feeling his fingers slide into your hair and push your face even closer to him. he tilted his face so he could meet your tongue with his, groaning into your mouth.

shaking your arm slightly, you silently asked him to help you out of your jacket. the boy took the hint immediately, pushing his hoodie down your arms and letting it fall onto the floor behind you.

running his hands up your arms, he broke away from your lips to catch his breath. you watched as the boy under you tilted his head back and sank further back into the couch. he pulled you onto him, letting his wet lips land on the soft skin of your neck.

you melted in his grasp, moaning and bringing a hand up to pull your hair out of the way. reaching his tongue out to taste your skin, sungho's hands pressed into your shoulder blades, holding you close to him. your eyes fluttered shut as you tilted your head back, sighing softly.

sungho ran his hands up and down your sides, groaning into your neck in a way that made you shake. you brought your hands to push at his shoulders lightly. breaking away from your neck with a lewd pop, the boy looked up to meet your half-lidded gaze.

you cupped his jaw with your hands and pulled him to smash his lips against yours. you moved your arms to wrap around his neck as he slid his hands up your shirt, dragging them down your back and sides. you whimpered as his hands ghosted over your boobs.

"can i?" sungho whispered against your lips, hot breath fanning onto your chin. you nodded hurriedly, aching to feel his hands on your skin.

in all honesty, sungho was ready to take you right then and there if you'd let him. luck was not in your favor, though, as the two of you were unceremoniously interrupted a loud whir and blinding light.

pulling away from the dark haired boy, you giggled.

"power's back on." you smiled as you watched the boy underneath you groan out curses. you didn't miss the feeling of something poke your thigh as you got off of his lap, laughing even louder.

...

sungho walked you to your apartment, mumbling that it was too dark for you to go alone.

before you had the chance to walk towards the entrance of your complex, you felt a hand grab your wrist, just like in the break room.

turning and smiling, you took in your coworker's nervous demeanor.

"y/n, i know we kinda got off on the wrong foot, but do you wanna ..." his voice trailed off.

"wanna what?" you played dumb, finding enjoyment in his nervous laughter and pink cheeks.

"hang out? just the two of us?" you smiled and stepped towards the boy, softly placing a hand on his shoulder and leaving a chaste kiss on his cheek. you smiled giddily at sungho as you nodded.

sungho's smile was even bigger as he pulled you in for a hug.

"are you gonna spill coffee on me this time?"

"shut up."

[reiding-writing]

Echolalia is the meaningless repetition of words and phrases and it's usually associated with mental conditions like Autism, ADHD, developmental or language delays, Tourette's, or schizophrenia.

So, if you have the time, do you think you could write a spencer reid x male reader who has echolalia. Maybe reader is a new BAU member and keeps repressing it bc he knows what it's associated with, and doesn't want the team to view him as 'unstable' or 'stupid'. Maybe Reid overhears him doing it and reader panics?

Thanks in advance, I love your writing!

circles [ s.r ]

spencer reid x gn!reader ||| hurt/comfort ||| 2.7k ||| masterlist!!

WARNINGS: reader is insecure, reader has echolalia, self deprecation

a/n: i did write this with a male reader in mind but gender really didn’t come up at all so-

You were working for the FBI, who would’ve thought.

It’s one of those jobs that people always talk about like it’s some fictional job that no-one actually does. But here you are, seven months into working with the Behavioural Analysis Unit of the FBI and living your best life.

Well, the best life you could when your job consisted of tracking down extremely dangerous and deranged individuals who had no regard for human life anyway.

Your co-workers were nice, the work hours were okay, and you got to brag to your parents about the fact that you rode on a private jet every few weeks.

You just wished it was easier to form friendships with your team.

It wasn’t that they were hard to talk to. They were all wonderful. It was just that little voice in the back of your head that told you that you weren’t a real member of the team.

You’d joined after the rest of them after all.

They were already a tight-knit unit before you’d passed the academy training, and by some measure of insanity you’d managed to squeeze yourself in alongside them.

Your sure that if you opened yourself up more that they’d accept you into their ‘work family’ with no holds barred, but when it came to keeping your professional image, the best thing you could do was keep your mouth shut.

Having an unbreakable habit of repeating arbitrary things that someone had mentioned sometimes hours before was not the best thing when it came to forming relationships with others.

It was odd and out of place and made you look like a weirdo. It made you feel like a weirdo. Like you weren’t normal.

You were a fully grown adult for god’s sake, not a four year old.

You’d keep it under wraps for the most part, locked away in your head as you bite your tongue at every urge to repeat the way Emily had said ‘whipped cream’ when talking about her hot chocolate in the office a few weeks ago.

Keeping your lips pressed into a tight line as the tones of Morgan’s ringtone echoed through your head so you wouldn’t hum it to yourself when working through your files.

Of course, the minute you got home you’d drop the effort and just succumb to saying ‘wheels up in thirty’ to yourself every ten minutes whilst washing your dishes, but it didn’t really matter when you were at home.

Because you were at home. Alone. With no one to judge you.

“Circles…” You furrow your eyebrows as you stare blankly at the map in front of you.

Spencer had been called out of the police station to go and examine one of the victims’ bodies post-autopsy, and so he’d left you in charge of the geographical profile in the meantime. “Find the circles,”

You weren’t as gifted as Spencer, nor as experienced as him, especially in his specialty of geographical profiles, but he’d taken the time to explain his thought process to you before leaving, and now it was the only thing running through your mind.

Everything was made out of circles Spencer had told you. Geographical profiles were comprised of circles. Find the circles and therefore find the comfort zones.

Find the circles.

“…find the circles-”

“You’re doing good,” You almost jump out of your skin when you hear Spencer’s voice form the entrance of the room, physically jolting as you’re ripped from your own mind and forced to remember that there are in fact other people here and you’ve just spent the last twenty minutes muttering to yourself about circles like an idiot.

“Oh- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you- I uh- Just got back from the coroner’s office and I- Just thought I should check on you- Sorry,” You can see the change in Spencer’s eyes once he realises he’s caught you off guard, profusely apologising like he’d done something wrong when he was literally just doing his job and it was your fault for being an idiot and jumping at someone walking into the room of a public police station during an investigation.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” You press your lips into an awkward smile as he cautiously makes his way across the room to get a better look at your scribbling on the map.

“Looks like you found all the circles,”

“Huh-”

“You were talking to yourself about ‘finding the circles’ and from what I can see you’ve actually marked them out perfectly,”

You almost dig yourself into a hole right there in the middle of the police station’s conference room.

You’d being talking to yourself again, and Spencer heard you. Not only that, it was something that Spencer had told you in the first place.

You can feel yourself descending into internal madness as Spencer takes one of the whiteboard pens to mark out something else on the map in front of you. God he probably thinks that you’re a weirdo now. I mean who catches their coworker repeating something they’d said almost and hour ago to themselves over and over again and thinks they’re not a weirdo?

You try and judge Spencer’s expression, scanning his face with your eyes to catch any trace of uncomfortableness in his eyes or a judging in his eyebrows. But you don’t find anything.

Then again Spencer had always been hard for you to read, probably because every time you did try to read his expression you got distracted looking at the freckles dappled across his nose and the way his hair curls against his forehead and the way his lips parted slightly when he focused on drawing a line over your red circle on the map and-

Focus.

You’ve already dug yourself into a deep enough hole repeating yourself over and over again, you didn’t also need to be caught trying to eat him with you eyes. God you are so screwed.

“Are you alright?” Spencer’s voice again catches you off guard as it forces you back into reality once more, and you turn your eye up towards his as he tilts his head at you, mild concern written across his features. “You uh- kind of zoned out,”

“Yeah I’m uh- I’m gonna-” You lamely point over your shoulder towards the door, retreating backwards so you could find the bathroom and wallow in your own self-pity for a few minutes.

“Are you sure? I can keep teaching you how to do a geographical profile if you’d like,” You curse Spencer’s moral character at his question. You don’t want to say no to him. He was a great guy who was passionate about his job and was going out of his way to teach you something that would then make your job easier.

“No- it’s alright- don’t worry about it-” You purse your lips into a straight line with a small shake of your head, hand braced on the door handle and reminding you that there was in fact solace from your stupidity on the other side.

“Did I make you uncomfortable? If I did then I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to catch you off guard like that,” Spencer rung the whiteboard pen in his hands as he spoke, and it almost made you collapse at the sight. He looked genuinely guilty, like he was actually physically upset at the prospect he might’ve caused you discomfort.

“No- you haven’t-” You sigh, dragging your hand down your face as you mentally punch yourself for making Spencer believe that he’d caused you any discomfort. He had, but that was because you were being idiotic and insecure, that wasn’t his fault. “I’m just being stupid, ignore me,”

You can see his mind run through your conversation with him, trying to find out when he might’ve made you feel uncomfortable without meaning to.

“You really didn’t-”

“Was it me mentioning that I overheard you speaking to yourself?”

Your lack of a response answers his question.

“It’s not uncommon for people to speak to themselves you know, it’s not something to be embarrassed about, in fact, studies have shown that talking to yourself during an activity like what you were doing with the profile can help boost short-term memory,”

But that wasn’t what you were doing. You weren’t repeating it because it was helping you remember how to do a geographical profile, you just were. There wasn’t a reason.

“Right…”

You wonder Spencer can read your mind as his expression furrows slightly at your response, and you can again see the cogs turning in his head as he tries to figure out whether or not his assessment was actually correct.

“Reid it’s really fine don’t worry about it,” Your attempt to shut down his internal analysis of your previous conversation is again shut down by Spencer, who waves his hand dismissively at you with a tight knit in his eyebrows.

“No, I made you feel uncomfortable and I want to know why so that I don’t do it again,” Spencer’s kindness is both a blessing and a curse you’ve come to realise, and as much as you are majorly appreciative of his efforts to form an emotional bridge with you, you’re also insanely embarrassed about the fact that his one off comment had affected you so much in the first place.

“I just-” You sigh. Do you tell him? He doesn’t seem to have noticed so maybe you can get away with it, lock it back up in your head and never repeat anything ever again unless you are securely in the safety of your own home. “I don’t know, I have this stupid habit of repeating things that other people say to me and-”

Well so much for locking it up.

“I just don’t want to be seen as some weirdo,”

Spencer blinks at you like you’ve got three heads and you seriously consider jumping out of the window to escape the situation.

“See, now you’re staring at me like i’m insane,” You drag your hand down your face, and you can feel your throat close up like you’re going to cry. It feels stupid, crying because of something trivial like this, but when you’ve buried it for so long because you’re scared of what other people are going to think about you of course it’s going to amplify into something massive.

“No- No- I’m not- I-” Spencer waves his hand at you, and you can see desperation flood his features as he tries to explain himself.

“It’s fine, I get it, I’m mentally unstable-”

“No. No that’s not what I was thinking at all,“ Spencer shakes his head at you adamantly, soft brown curls bouncing around his face with every turn of his head.

So he was right, partly anyway. It was the fact that he’d brought up that you were speaking to yourself. But it wasn’t that, it was the fact that you were repeating something that he had told you and you’d thought it freaked him out. “Echolalia is a fairly common thing, I do it myself sometimes,”

Your eyebrows furrow slightly, although whether it’s because of the new term Spencer said to you like you already knew what it meant or the fact that he openly admitted to doing the same thing with no shame or embarrassment you weren’t sure. “What?”

“Echo…lalia?” Spencer mirrored the furrowing of your eyebrows with his own as he drags out the word, seemingly surprised that you didn’t know the official term for what you were describing. “It’s the subconscious repetition of things that you hear around you,”

“Oh,”

“It’s very common in children during the language development stage, but it can follow through into adulthood in some people,” Spencer takes your short reply as an invitation for him to explain it to you. Hopefully by doing so he would be able to convince you that it wasn’t something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. “It’s especially common in individuals with autism, with roughly 85% of autistic people experiencing echolalia,”

“So, you’re saying I’m autistic?” You blink at him with a confused expression, like you’re not exactly sure how you’re supposed to feel.

“Not necessarily, echolalia is common in a number of neurodivergencies, it’s just most commonly associated with autism,” Spencer gives you that awkward smile you’ve come to associate him with. “It’s really nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s just your brain’s way of processing information,”

“But-”

“Really, you shouldn’t worry about it, it doesn’t mean there’s anything ‘wrong’ with you at all,” Spencer’s not one for interrupting other people, but he can tell that you’ve still not come to terms with it even after his explanation.

You don’t say anything else, giving him a short nod and stuffing your hands in your pockets with a pursed smile.

“Now, about the profile, are you sure you wouldn’t like me to continue showing you how to complete one? From what I can see you’ve got a natural talent for it,” Spencer gestures back over to your markings on the map and you follow it with your eyes.

“I- yeah alright,”

“Great,” Spencer gives you a smile as he picks up one of the whiteboard pens and makes his way back over to the board. “Okay, so you’ve already marked out all of the crime scenes, so the next step is to chronologically connect them all,”

You only half listen to Spencer’s explanation as he teaches you, mind still focused on your conversation with him. He didn’t find you weird like you’d expected him to. He didn’t think you were unstable or not mentally sound. He did it himself.

That last point was what really stuck with you.

He did it himself.

And he wasn’t ashamed to admit it to you. You assume the rest of the team knew as well, which means they probably also wouldn’t care.

So- what? You’ve been freaking out over nothing?

That made you feel stupider than your repetition ever did.

God you really needed to get yourself together.

And that started with learning to trust your teammates not to judge you for something that you couldn’t control. One down, six to go.

[shalomniscient]

haha thank u for ur thoughts on kjsr ask! there's like no fics or in game content for her so i have been starving sm. i love her so much, wish more people got into her character. being a picky reader AND a kjsr fan is torture, since it's hard (for me personally) to find fics that fit the way i have analyzed her. they always write her off as cold when i feel like she justs awkward cause of her lack in experience in socializing.

for college au, your analysis was on spot. thats like how i exactly imagined a college student kjsr to act. i wonder how she'd handle having a complete opposite of her as an s/o? like she's always organized, she probably has the habit of keeping her stuff in their usual positions as she sits by her chair for lectures. being raised by a military family and even attending a military school, would def make her unable to do things out of order. so having an s/o whose actions are always spontaneous and last minute would def place her in an uncomfortable spot. since imo i think of her as someone who hates unusual things, she wants everything in order. so if she met R whose constantly changing things and is the complete opposite of order, i wonder how would she even warm up to that person.

she def be irritated at first meeting with them, and maybe even R would also be annoyed with how she has a stick up her ass 😭

their slowburn would be so slow, ough i love ksr, she makes me ill ❤️

having an extremely disorganized partner would be roughhhhh for her i won’t lie. sara is about efficiency and quality—she’d absolutely loathe pushing things to deadlines and last minute work. and having a messy workspace… it’d give her a headache. also she’s definitely a clutter hater. everything in her room and on her desk has a practical purpose. if it doesn’t, it goes in the trash. as for spontaneity, i think sara would be able to adapt, but i think she would be really uncomfortable as you said. if it’s for the sake of like a project she would bite back her discomfort and press on, but if it’s like a casual thing i think she may just straight up decline. she acts this way because i believe she likes feeling prepared for things and knowing what she’s getting into. this doesn’t mean she’s against learning something completely new, but she just wants to know what she’s getting into yk? she’s very analytical. she likes plans and stuff because it gives her structure and purpose, which is very important to her because outside of that she doesn’t know what to do. she is so far behind in self-development that she clings to outside sources of structure (in canon, this is religion and the military).

so all that being said, having an s/o who abhors structure is going to be incredibly difficult for her. again, she’d be fine with trying new things, as long as her s/o tells her maybe a day in advance saying something like “hey, tomorrow we’ll do a surprise activity. bring x/wear x”. she still doesn’t know exactly what’s going to happen, but she knows there’s going to be a surprise, and she can physically and mentally prepare for it and that’s fine for her. if it’s true, pure, spontaneity she’d very much be thrown off her rhythm. it’s possible she’d even be a little irritated, since she could also have other things planned. all this being said, if there’s an emergency, she won’t crack under that pressure either. if anything, she works better, immediately forming a response plan in her head. am i making sense? i’m just rambling atp lmao i’m so sorry anon. tldr; my personal opinion is that sara would be very poorly compatible with a spontaneous person. she may not be able to even start being their friend to eventually become a romantic partner. ofc, this is my own take, so if u see that this can work, then indulge in it !!

[titlemewickedwonderland]

Lost and Found (Ghost Oneshot)

Summary: Y/n is a newly summoned ghoul who's getting used to her new life topside. When her new packmates can't find her during a bad storm at the Abbey they go searching for her with worry only to find her in the oddest spots!

Prompt: Requested by anon for this one! I hope you find it and enjoy reading it! Thank you for the request <3

Support My Other Work!

It's a tricky thing being part of the Ghost Project. Being a newly summoned ghoul, that is. After living a life of literal hell for such a long time; going from a normal human to a creature of hell, well it's hard. Even when you know life topside is far better than the life you had in Hell; it's still quite hard to relax and fall into a normal life; especially when you don't remember who you are or what your name was before dying and being reborn as a hellish creature.

Y/n could still remember the scent of sulfur that was thick on her tongue with every intake of breath. Hear the bone-chilling screams and wails from the damned that resided in the Pits where she found herself spawned. Could still feel the rattling heart pounding in fear with every pump.

It wasn't a life she had expected. She wasn't sure where she would have gone when she'd die. She honestly didn't expect to go anywhere. She didn't imagine she'd be destined for the pearly gates of Heaven but she honestly didn't fathom the idea of being dropped into Hell. It wasn't as bad as people made it out to be; she could be biased about it though after living there for such a long time. She sure knew how utterly terrifying it could be at the beginning. If Hell was a form of PTSD well she'd imagined she had it.

She could still remember finding herself hiding for her life from some ferals down in the Pits who were searching for fresh blood when she suddenly felt a burning energy inside of her body and the next thing she knew she was lying naked in a cold room surrounded by masked figures. She remembered being so disoriented and confused but not feral as they seemed to have expected with how cautious they were when approaching.

It'd been a few weeks since then and while she did well to acclimate herself to her new life here at the Abbey she still felt off inside of her. Like a part of her still clung to the horrors that lay in a portal beneath her very feet. She had been told that her ghoulish abilities wouldn't come in for a little while as she got used to her new home but she'd already known her abilities...she was just too skittish to say anything.

Her new packmates; a group of ghouls like herself were an amazing bunch. The support, care, and comfort they gave her while she adjusted to being topside while being understanding of her was something she didn't realize she had needed; she certainly wouldn't have found it down in Hell even if she tried - there was no light or love in Hell. Only terror, greed, and horror are in an endless cycle surrounding the lives down there.

She didn't want to tell them; her new packmates of her issue. Of her mental state that didn't quite find peace like her body was trying to while being here. She wasn't stupid, she'd hoped they wouldn't have heard the cries of endless pain and torment that plagued her mind while she slept. She knew better, of course, she did. While they did not outwardly speak about it - they had shown kindness and support in their own ways.

Mountain, the Earth Ghoul would leave flowers on her nightstand to find every morning after she had her nightmares. Swiss the Multi-Ghoul would be overly chipper and jokester in the morning as if trying to distract her from her nightmares. Rain, the sweet soft spoken Water Ghoul would give her random little trinkets he'd find; like shiny stones, pennies or other coins he found in the waterfall in the Abbey's court, or some river stones he'd find on a swim that reminded him of her in some way. Dewdrop, although grumpy to most people, had gotten in the habit of draping himself across her whenever possible; whenever she'd sit down somewhere or merely be standing by he'd be there draped across her lap or shoulders as if his unearthly heat would wrap around like a comforting heated blanket to chase away the fog that clouded her mind after a particularly long night. Phantom, the newest member of the pack who had been there a few months to replace their last Quintessence Ghoul Aether would find any spare moment to talk about music with her and show her his guitar skills as if for a distraction. The ghoulettes were very sweet too; always bringing her comfort foods and cute little stuffies they'd found somewhere.

She loved the fact that they cared so much and didn't speak aloud the glaring truth of what they knew was happening every night behind her closed bedroom door but sometimes; they felt stifling and she needed some space. Her chance came in the form of a brewing storm on the horizon.

The sky was dark and thick with the scent of a storm that was forecasted by the dark grey clouds above their heads. Because of this practice had been canceled; not wanting to have the ghouls out in such a storm that had been predicted by the weather channel to be quite a thunderstorm with heavy rain, lightning, thunder, and a high chance of flooding. But while the others made preparations to be holed up in their quarters together for the night by building a large nesting area on the floor in the common room they realized in the midst of this someone was missing.

"Hey, uh guys?" Swiss blinked looking around the room where the others were busy bringing in blankets, pillows, stuffies, and rearranging the floor for a ghoul pile.

"What's the matter, Swiss?" Cumulus perked up from her spot on the floor where she was making a stuffed animal pile.

"Has anyone seen Y/n?" the Multi-ghoul asked still scanning the room of each of his packmate's faces trying to find the newest member of their pack.

"Yeah, wasn't she supposed to be with Phantom grabbing some snacks from the kitchen?" Dewdrop added stopping what he was doing in favor of turning towards the Quintessence ghoul who just entered the room with an armful of snacks.

Phantom paused when he saw everybody's eyes on him and he looked around nervously. "Vwhat?" he mumbled around the corner of a bag of chips hanging from between his teeth.

"Is Y/n with you?" Rain piped up; his eyes worried as he craned his head around the other to see if the newest member was trailing behind but he was alone in the doorway.

Phantom dropped the snacks onto the coffee table and frowned as he shook his head slowly. "No? She said she was going to get some extra batteries or something like that..." he replied slowly.

"We have batteries already. It was like the first things we grabbed." Mountain stated sharing a look with Rain.

"So what are you saying?" Phantom asked placing his hands on his hips.

"We're saying...." Cirrus piped up from behind Cumulus with a firm tone. "Y/n's missing."

"Well, we got to find her!" Phantom replied waving his hands around. "She's still pretty new being here...she could have gotten lost or..or or..." he looked around the room and then out the window staring at the downpour outside followed by lightening.

"Do you think?" Aurora asked softly seemingly speaking up on what Phantom was thinking.

Rain's jaw set and he stalked towards the door; throwing it open to stare out into the hallway where it echoed loudly with the rumbling of the storm brewing outside.

"Rain, where are you going?" Mountain called turning to his companion.

"I'm going to go find Y/n. It's storming outside...she could be lost or hurt." the water ghoul replied before slipping from the room.

"Rain!" Cumulus called worriedly but her attention turned towards Dewdrop as he began walking towards the door to follow Rain. "Dew!"

"Look, Y/n's the kit of this pack. It's our job to make sure she's safe. Lucifer only knows where she is and I agree with Rain. Now you can come with us or stay here. But I'm going." Dew turned to the group with a glare before the Fire ghoul followed Rain's path out the door without even waiting for a reply.

It didn't take long before the others looks around at each other with concerned expressions. Dew was right. Y/n was technically the kit of the pack. She was new and had only been topside for a few weeks. She didn't know the Abbey as well as them and with her unspoken PTDS night terrors, they were worried that the storm could trigger her panic attacks. So they did what they always did when it came to their packmates; they followed out the door in search of their companion because no one leaves a pack member behind no matter how fresh and new they were.

~

The rain was heavy on her skin. It felt like little daggers pelting her unprotected skin. Or that could be the small pea-sized hail that was falling along with the rain. But instead of being frightened; she leaned back on her palms and raised her face to the sky allowing the storm to drench her from head to toe in it's icy pellets that rained down on her. She didn't care if she had goosebumps crawling along her skin from the cold. She didn't care about the cracks of lightening that lit up the darkened clouds above her every few seconds. She didn't even care about the fact that thunder roared in her ears like a furious god.

The storm didn't frighten her. It actually calmed the racing of her mind as she just let Mother Earth wash away the worries, the stress, and the tension that had been coiled in her body since day one of being here at the Abbey.

Y/n liked to pretend she was okay. That she didn't suffer from the memories of her life in Hell. She liked to think she was normal when the sun came up. But at every corner, there was just something that reminded her of her inadequacies in comparison to her new packmates. While everybody else seemed in a comfortable routine here she always felt like the outcast, she knew it wasn't true. While the Siblings of Sin slowly got used to her and her them; her new packmates were always right there as silent support. It wasn't something she was used to but she secretly enjoyed it even when she felt an unexplainable guilt of wanting that kind of connection. It was silly, to think she craved their affections; of anybody's affection as much as she did and she felt wrong for wanting that even when she knew she shouldn't. Maybe it was the fear of Papa finding out of her struggles and deciding she wasn't worth it - afraid of him choosing to end her contract and send her back. She didn't want to go back. Not when she was trying so hard to accept the life she had been granted for a second chance at happiness.

As if reading her thoughts aloud she heard something among the sounds of the thunderstorm above her head. Voices suddenly came from below where she sat on the rooftop of one of the wings of the Abbey's church. Casting her golden gaze downwards she spotted them through the sheet of rain and hail the group she'd come to know as her new family stared up at her with glowing eyes. Because of her inhuman senses, she could hear their shouting even among the thunder and lightning crackling.

"Y/n! Omg! What are you doing up there?!" Phantom shouted looking up at her in panic.

"Honey, come down! It's okay. We're here now!" Swiss added as he searched for a way up to her; where the hell had she managed to get herself up there from? He didn't see a ladder and he didn't see a door up there for her to have made it up from inside the Abbey. Did she climb?!

Y/n stared down at them for a long moment wondering why they were panicking? It was just a storm. A small smile graced her face though as she noticed Dewdrop looking like a half-drowned cat staring up at her; clearly not liking the rain but he was out here anyway looking for her. And that warmed her heart a little. They were all there for her. Had they thought she was lost? Well, she had sort of just slipped away from them without saying where she was going so she could understand that.

The Ghoulette finally got to her feet; careful of the rain rushing down the steep roof and made her way to the edge; apparently, this wasn't what they had expected and they began to panic.

"No! Y/n! Blossom get away from the edge! We'll come up there to get you!" Mountain called looking around for a ladder or something.

But she didn't listen and instead stood right at the edge of the roof and raised her arms out on either side before tipping herself forward to freefall off the roof. As she fell through the air she could hear the shouting of panic and terror as several bodies lurched forward to catch her. A pair of arms snagged around her waist right before she fell to the ground; the momentum caused her and her rescuer to fall flat on the ground into the wet grass with the breath knocked out of their lungs. Well, that certainly wasn't a good idea.

She rolled over onto her back and a figure scrambled over her; hands brushing away her drenched hair that stuck to her face as they frantically made sure she was breathing and okay. She started to laugh. Actually laugh, carefree and awfully delighted with herself; her eyes peeking open a crack to Rain hovering over her looking no better than she with his dark wavy curls sticking to his face as he made sure she was okay.

"I'm fine." she finally let out between muffled giggles. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you guys."

"Damn it, woman!" Dewdrop knelt at their side and examined her to make sure she wasn't hurt too. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking I needed a moment to myself." she replied with a sigh as she closed her eyes again.

"Blossom you're shaking! Look at you, you are drenched to the bone! You don't even have a jacket on!" Mountain's voice resembled the booming of the thunder above them.

"I'm okay really I just..." she opened here eyes again to look up at all the worried faces hovering above her and she felt a slight pang of guilt for worrying them so much. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to make you think-"

She was cut off as Swiss yanked the girl to her feet and picked her up. "Stubborn girl. You could have said told us! You didn't need to run off and give us a heart attack; we thought you got lost or hurt in this storm." he muttered.

"I'm sorry." her eyes softened a bit as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Come on, let's get out of this rain and get dried off." Rain added as he rose to his feet.

"Don't ever do that to us ever again!" Cumulus chided a little too harshly as she gripped onto Cirrus and Aurora as the three walked after the others. Despite her harsh tone worry was still swimming in her eyes; her anger came out from the depths of her concern and fear for their packmate.

They made it back inside in record time; dripping water all over the floor. While Mountain went to go grab some towels for them to dry off with Dewdrop started a fire in the fireplace to get the place warmed up and an extra source for them to dry off with as they placed themselves around it with Y/n in the middle. The ghoulette sat between Dewdrop's legs as he hugged her from behind; his usual form of affection she was growing fond of as he used his fire ghoul powers to heat his body up to dry off and warm her better than the fireplace ever could and she snuggled into him as she cuddled a pillow to her chest while Phantom and Swiss handed out some hot cocoas for everybody that had been made earlier before Y/n's disappearance.

"I am really sorry for worrying so you so much. I didn't mean to. I just...I don't know I just needed space to gather my thoughts and I guess I just thought you guys wouldn't notice." Y/n finally spoke up as she stared into the fire in front of her.

"What was all of that about though sweetheart? You know you didn't have to run off like that to gather your thoughts. You're part of our pack now, you could have just come to us if there was something on your mind." Cirrus said as she scooted closer to the girl and grabbed her hand.

"I..." Y/n looked down at the ground. "I just...you guys have been so kind to me...turning a blind eye when it came to my night terrors; and I'm not stupid, I know you hear me at night when it gets bad. I just, I felt like such a burden. Being the new one that didn't fit in. Even when you went out of your way to make me feel part of you guys I just..." she sighed rubbing her eyes when she felt the sting behind them.

"Y/n... No matter how new you think you are, we all have been there at one point. But you are here with us right now. Your family. You are our packmates and we love you. We were trying to give you space to make sure you settled in on your own time. But if you worried so much all you had to do was tell us. We wouldn't have let you go through this alone if you were struggling." Rain murmured from his spot nearby.

"I just didn't think you'd want to hear about it." Y/n confessed sheepishly. "It's been a long time since you guys were summoned I just thought you didn't want to have to deal with it again with me."

"Have you not heard a single thing we've said?" Dewdrop grumbled from behind her as he rested his chin on top of her head between her horns. "You're fucking family now, we wouldn't let you go through this alone, idiot."

Y/n nodded slightly feeling her eyes burn with tears and her throat close up a bit; she stifled her sniff by burying her face into the pillow and Aurora gave a little coo as she crawled over and placed herself in the other's lap to cuddle.

"You're okay, blossom." Mountain wrapped his tail around Y/n tightly and leaned closer to see her face; the glisten of her silent tears wetting her cheeks as it reflected from the fireplace.

"No more running and no more hiding from us okay You got an issue you come to us. We'd do anything for you and for each other; that's what packmates do, we can only imagine the kind of life you had in the pits because we had something similar. But you are safe now. You're home." Swiss added firmly as he reached out to grab one of her hands beneath the blanket she had on her lap.

"I promise. No more running or hiding," she replied wiping at her nose.

"Atta girl." Cumulus smiled getting comfortable in the nest made earlier that day. "Now come on. Join the pile. I'm pooped and I think we all need a nap."

Y/n laughed a bit and nodded as she crawled from between Dew's legs and came to rest against Cumulus's side while the others did the same; joining them in the pile of blankets, pillows, and warm bodies to nap out the storm brewing overhead.

[ramshackle-ramblings]

Chapter 6: Reunion

in which Alise receives a gift, and Mouse solicits help

First Previous

A small "Noooo" escaped Mouse, looking at Jamil horrified before turning to look at an emerging Sebek. Their face went pale at the sight of the furious half-fae.

"Begging the Great Seven for it to be anything but Alise," Mouse commented, eyes glued to Sebek's form.

Jamil looked curiously at Mouse, and then back to Sebek, the tip of his togue sticking out again.

Lilia and Silver followed in Sebek's wake. Lilia had his arm around the waist of a small girl, guiding her along with them.

"Is that her?" Jamil asked. "She's tiny."

Silver caught Mouse's eye from the across the hall, and pointed at Alise with a shrug.

Mouse only nodded to Jamil's question, speaking up to joke; "And mighty."

They waved at Silver, mouthing "I'm so sorry" to him. They motioned Silver to come here, again mouthing "I can save you if you come here". Mouse wasn't sure if they were joking or not. Silver nodded and redirected Lilia toward Mouse's group.

"Look what I found!" Lilia crowed when they got close. "Actually, I think Silver found her, but I kept her from getting lost again."

Alise waved, unsure at what point she was allowed to break away from her kidnappers escorts.

Mouse detached themselves from Jamil, offering the group a nervous smile.

"I'm so sorry about this," Mouse called back, rubbing their arm in nervous habit. "But thank you so much for taking care of her, it means so much."

Sebek stopped when he heard Mouse’s voice, grumbling as he turned to look over.

"Of course! She was no trouble at all," Lilia waved off Mouse’s thanks.

Mouse glanced over to Sebek, before looking back at Lilia. Their smile faltering just slightly. "I'm happy to hear that."

Lilia followed Mouse's gaze to Sebek, and waved it off. "That's nothing to worry about. He's just not used to people matching his energy."

"Are you sure?" Mouse asked, worry lacing their voice. "I mean he's..." Not normally so annoyed? Not as angry looking?

"Oh, very sure," Lilia promised Mouse.

Mouse just simply nodded, looking over to Sebek who was staring their way before quickly turning when they made eye contact. Mouse letting out a soft sigh. "Thank you guys again, I'll try to keep a tighter leash on her until potionology..."

Lilia declared that no thanks were necessary, she was no trouble at all. Mouse offered Alise their hand, looking back to Jamil and Kalim only to find Kalim running to be by their side.

"Hi!!" He chimed, latching onto Mouse's other arm.

"Hi," Alise answered, looking genuinely delighted. She took Mouse's hand, and Lilia looked proud of the successful hand-off. "They're ... a little scary when they're all together in a mob like that," she whispered.

Mouse gently pulled Alise towards them, like a worried mother who just repossessed their problem child. Lilia floated off toward Sebek, and the food after that.

Kalim circled back to stand on the other side of Alise. "You're the new student that Mouse mentioned, right?"

"I probably am," Alise confirmed.

Kalim smiled, taking Alise's free hand into his own. "Mouse was telling us about you! It's so nice to meet you, I'm Kalim! If you need anything you can just come to me, okay!?"

"Thanks," Alise answered Kalim, mentally increasing her Number Of Times I've Been Kidnapped count. Weird that it's gone from 0 to 3 in 12 hours. "I'm Alise. I can't think of anything I need just now."

Kalim nodded, his eyes sparkling as he spoke to her. "That's okay! Anything to help out Mouse's new dorm mate!"

"Thanks," Alise said. "I'll, uh, I'll keep that in mind."

Kalim nodded again before gasping as if he just remembered something, turning to face Jamil and waving at him excitedly "Oh! Oh!! Jamil!! You should come meet Alise too!!"

Jamil said, "Hello," but his face said "must I?". Alise responded with "Hello," but her face said "help me".

Silver waited for Lilia and Sebek to get a little further away.  Not actually out of earshot, but far enough that everyone could pretend they were.

"Sebek will be fine. This just might be the first time in years he hasn't been able to glower someone into submission." His gaze shifted to Alise, held hostage between Kalim and Mouse. "I think I understand what you were saying earlier, though," he said, almost fondly.

"Ah... So that's the root of his ire..." Mouse hummed, looking over to Alise with a soft expression. "I hate to say it, but that might actually be for the best with him..." Mouse looked back to Silver, rubbing the back of their neck and forcing out a laugh. "Yeahhh... She's uhm... Very confrontational - and we've only just met her."

"That appears to be the overwhelming opinion on it. Lilia declared this 'the start of a beautiful friendship'," Silver shrugged.

"Eeeehh..." Mouse made a sound at Lilia's declaration. "I'm not sure I'd uh... Describe it as *that* exactly."

Silver just shrugged.

Mouse sighed, motioning to Silver to catch up with the other Diasomnia boys. "Well... Let's just hope they don't kill each other."

They then turned to Alise and Kalim, patting Alise on the head before speaking gently. "Let's get you two fed..."

"Fed sounds good," she agreed, resigned to being herded for the immediate future.

Mouse smiled, following behind the pair with Jamil. He started to point out an empty table near the back, but was interrupted by Ace and Deuce mobbing Mouse.

"We asked Jack if he'd help," Deuce started. "But he told us we were irresponsible."

Mouse jumped slightly at their sudden appearance. "O-oh... Oh! Oh no we uhm- We found her!" Mouse stumbled, gently pulling Alise to stand in front of them as if showing her off to the two other freshmen.

"I guess Silver found her on his way to pick up Malleus from class..." They explained, quickly letting go of Alise to catch a bolt of whining grey mass that jumped into their arms and quickly snuggled into them.

Alise didn't think she'd ever seen anyone look as relieved as Deuce did in that moment. He looked like he was considering hugging her. She just waved and turned to Mouse. "Did ... did you have the school looking for me?"

"Uhm... No... Just these two, and eventually Silver." Mouse responded, rubbing the back of their neck. Cheeks flushing as Kalim engulfed them in a tight hug.

"Oh yeah!! They were miserable our entire study hall worrying about you!" Kalim said, without any regard to Mouse's protests. "But we're lucky we found you, ‘cause now Mouse can stop beating themselves up over nothing!"

His tone was soft as he spoke the last remark, pressing his cheek against Mouse's. They leaned into his presence. Though Mouse's face screamed of guilt, Kalim's was more of an overjoyed older brother who was previously worried. Grim reached up to play with one of Kalim's earrings and giggled to himself every time it made a jingling sound.

Alise blinked up at Mouse. "I'm sorry I worried you," she said softly. Where are you? and Where have you been? were not questions she was used to answering. As long as obligations were met, most people in her life didn’t care if she was here or there, or how or when she’d gotten from one place to another.

Mouse looked over to Alise, offering her a soft smile before patting her head. "No need to apologize, we're the ones who failed to keep track of you." It wasn't exactly wrong. "I'm just happy you're safe."

Alise shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be safe? And ... I'm not actually a child," she said it with a little laugh, but her tone was serious. "I don't really need babysitting."

Jamil gave her an appraising look, but said nothing, just raised an eyebrow in Mouse's direction.

Mouse's smile faltered, Kalim looking at them curiously as they responded. "W-well, it's a really big school in an unfamiliar place. It's not hard to get lost." Mouse ducked their head, grabbing one of Grim's paws to stop him from batting at Kalim's earrings.

"I didn't mean to make you feel like a child, I apologize..." Their tone genuine before they cleared their throat. "But! We should get food before lunch ends!"

"Food is good!" Alise agreed cheerfully. She turned toward the cafeteria. "What's for lunch?"

Grim quickly jumped out of Mouse's arm, at the same time Kalim unwrapped from them. The two energetic figures flanking Alise and guiding her towards the counters filled with food.

"It's an all you can eat buffet!!" Grim announced, his walk silly as he was on his hind legs only and not all fours. His usually animated tail unusually still to keep him balanced.

"Mhm! And don't worry about the end price today! I'll cover the cost as a welcome gift!" Kalim spoke, voice tinted with excitement.

Mouse only sighed, turning to look at Jamil with an apologetic look. "I think I know the answer, but you packed Kalim's and your own lunch today, yeah?"

Jamil nodded. "And I'm glad I did, because it would have been impossible to get him to leave. Are you getting something from the buffet, or would you like to share with us? There's plenty."

`Number Of Times I've Been Kidnapped: 4?`

Mouse hummed, looking between the buffet and then Jamil. Thoughts running a mile a minute before they were cut off by Ace throwing an arm around their shoulders.

"I think they'd like to share," he answered for them, a smirk tugging on the corner of his lips but his eyes reading concern.

Mouse opened their mouth to argue, shutting it quickly when he placed a finger to their lips and shushed her audibly.

"He's the one who offered, so it's fine!" He argued against their unspoken words, patting their chest lightly.

"Come on, then. Before there's not a table," Jamil began to weave through the cafeteria toward an empty table, taking Ace's answer as the decision. Mouse huffed, shoving Ace off them dramatically before waving to him, following after Jamil quickly.

Jamil began pulling things out and setting them up on the table for lunch. He was right, there was a lot of food.

Ace saluted Mouse, snickering to himself before grabbing onto Deuce's arm and tugging him towards the usual Heartslabyul spot where Riddle was. "C'mon before Riddle collars us!"

"We're not gonna eat with Mouse?" Deuce went with Ace, but had clearly misunderstood what the plan for lunch had been.

"Did you forget?" Ace chastised, shaking his head. "Riddle's having all of us sit together for lunch today! And Mouse will be fine! They're with Jamil and Kalim, what's the worst those two can do to them? Spoil ‘em?"

"I know Mouse will be fine!" Deuce protested, following Ace into the crowd. He had forgotten.

"Then c'mon!" Ace urged, as if the two weren't already on their way to the table.

Jamil had just about finished the lunch spread, when Kalim led Alise to the table with Jamil and Mouse. Grim looked exceptionally pleased. Alise looked mortified.

None of them had any food.

"I don't know what happened," Alise started. "I didn't ask for anything, really."

Mouse looked up at the group, their face going pale at both everyone's expressions and at Alise's words.

"No.... He didn't..." Mouse's words came out quiet and airy, barely audible over the chatter of the other students in the room. Turning to look at Jamil. "Tell me he didn't..."

"He did," Jamil said flatly.

Several cafeteria workers were depositing loaded trays onto the table. Grim was supervising smugly.

Mouse sighed, pulling out their phone - "generously" to them by the headmaster to quickly text a certain Hyena.

You wouldn't happen to have gotten lunch yet, would you?

Immediately their phone vibrated in response.

Nope :) Just finished getting Leona his sandwich though :/ Kalim got the new student way too much food... Help us...

Mouse immediately spoke up. "I'm asking Ruggie to help us with..." They surveyed the trays of food being placed on the table, exhaustion quickly taking them over with another sigh. "This..."

"I swear, I didn't ask for any of it. I was just looking at what there was," Alise tried to explain.

Jamil shook his head. "It's fine. We should have expected ... " he waved his hand at the food. "This."

Mouse chuckled, motioning for Alise to calm down. "It's not your fault in the slightest, hun." They then glanced over to Jamil, nodding along. "It was a uhm... Oversight on our part."

Kalim just smiled, hands on his hips as if he achieved something great - which he might as well have. "Well it wouldn't be a good welcome gift if I didn't go all out!!"

Mouse sighed again, checking their new messages

New student? Wait NVM that's not important I'll be there in like 10 10? Tupperware ....` Ruggie no... :)

Alise blinked at Kalim in confusion. "I ... Yes, but ... I mean ... " She gave up. He looked so proud, and she was sure he was just being genuinely nice, but this was just absurd. No single person could be expected to eat all of this, and he'd already told her that he wasn't going to have any of it.

She continued to stare at him, baffled, and flopped onto the bench.

"Thank you," she settled on finally.

"Of course!" Kalim announced before sitting down.

Next

[heaven-s-black-box]

Death Afternoon- Kaeya x Gn!Reader

Return to File

Recovery date: March 11th, 2023

Description: "Let's see hm.... Kaeya × Enby Reader." Kaeya has a date tonight, one that he wants to be on time for, and Jean is making him catch up on outstanding work. He can only hope Y/n won't be too mad

Notes: Content Warning for Alcohol. Recovered in conjunction with @baylecn, we thank them for their contribution.

Word count: 582

Back to directory

Kaeya Alberich is known for taking his sweet time with his work, and for the most part it works. As long as it gets done before the deadline Jean doesn’t care… most of the time. Then there are the times where she hunts him down and forces him to sit at his desk, like a child, and makes him work.

This is one of those times, and Kaeya Alberich has never regretted a decision as much as this.

Looking up at the clock, he winced. It was a little after seven, the sun was waning, and he was still half an hour away from finishing work. That was half an hour later than he already was to get to The Angel’s Share.

They were probably waiting— sitting at a booth in the back, watching the door, waiting for him while Diluc gave him a mental scolding. 

He turned back to the form in front of him, a new patrol outline that Amber had put forward and he had to assign some knights to, signing the first two names he could think of before adding it to the finished pile. The next one was just as dull, a reimbursement form from a merchant over some hilichurl damage.

The one time Kaeya wanted to be on time, his lax work habits caught up to him.

As the clock hit seven thirty Y/n stepped out of their home, giving Klee a wave goodbye as the girl closed the door behind them. They skipped down the steps one by one to meet the stone path and spun around the banister to head towards The Angel’s Share; and there, just as they’d expected, was a panicked Kaeya.

“Well, well, well,” they called, leaning against the low stone wall, laughing as Kaeya whipped his head around to find them. His shoulders visibly relaxed as he rushed over. “Look who finally showed up.”

Y/n hopped down and crossed their arms as the cavalry captain stopped just a step away. His hair was ruffled, as if he’d been running his hands through it, and they wondered if he’d gone inside and come back out. Had he really thought they’d left?

“I- Diluc said you’d left?”

Oh.

“Kaeya, I just got here.” He went to speak, but Y/n raised a finger to silence him. “I ran into Jean earlier, she went on a bit of a rant about your outstanding work, you got lucky on that one.”

He sighed. “So you knew I’d be late.”

They frowned at him, crossing their arms again. “Sucky, isn't it. Waiting on someone, I mean. Now, I want you to remember this next time you skip out on work or leave someone waiting because you can’t be assed.”

It was childish, the kind of lesson on punctuality they’d teach Klee, but Kaeya couldn’t care in the moment.

“So Master Diluc was just being mean,” he frowned with an over dramatic whine.

“Must be a family thing. Now you promised me a drink,” they brushed past him with a  smug smile, “and I want to know what on earth was more important than me.”

When they got inside, Diluc gave Y/n a stiff nod and leveled Kaeya with a disappointed glare, but two death afternoons were set out in a booth at the back.

For the next month, all of Kaeya’s work was finished within a day of being issued, and Jean sent Y/n a nice box of tea as thanks.

[deviildarliing]

can we all agree that jekyll is autistic as all hell, because why wouldn't he be? just look at the guy. he fixates so hard on the idea of masking himself LITERALLY, to the point of his own downfall

okay, but seriously, here's some fun little hcs that won't stop spinning in my head 🧪

so, first things first, he's a bit of an ego maniac, right? like, big yet incredibly fragile ego, ego maniac; one who'll do anything to prove he's correct purely out of spite and doesn't mind looking a bit bad if it means he's victorious. this would play into the idea that he's nice to the people around him, but behind closed doors he can't stop himself from mocking those idiots under his breath

when people are really testing his patience, he's got this neat little eye twitch, left, and usually excuses it with allergies or something of the like. he's very proper at smiling and saying the right things, reading people and using that against them in times of great distress, as i've said before he manipulates others without needing to do much at all. he's awful and he knows it, but he wears a mask of hospitality to pretend he isn't and no one is any the wiser

for things like stims, he can mostly be found fiddling with the cane utterson gifted him, and before in his youth he'd mess with either his hair or his clothes by like subconsciously tugging or twirling. oh my, he used to have a nasty habit of tugging on his hair to the point he just started tying it back so it would be out of the way

lanyon and utterson could tell you all about his little habits during their school days. for instance, if he so much as messed up a letter on a paper he was writing, he'd have to start the entire thing over again from scratch. he'd read books very meticulously, leaving little notes in the margins to mark the most interesting parts, even if they weren't his. he'd always talk about how much he disliked his face, the asymmetry of his beauty mark threw everything off and it was maddening, but with a few encouraging words from both lanyon and utterson alike, he slowly grew to appreciate the mark in time

let's go back to present day jekyll, 50yrs old and doing his best. here's a more sort of serious one

he most definitely experiences derealization, i would believe, considering he drinks literal chemicals and changes his face, that's not very realistic to me, boss. this goes along with the fact that he tends to mutter under his breath or talk to himself when alone because it's basically thinking out loud, helping himself stay on track, that sort of thing (utterson knows about this and doesn't judge him) and it's a harmless habit that starts to get a bit out of hand after he's been drinking the potion for awhile. fear starts to feed into his paranoia of being caught and now anytime he thinks he 'hears' hyde's voice, it's just his guilty conscience taking out its frustrations in the form of a conversation, or sometimes even violent altercations, between a man who's on the brink of delusion and his own bad thoughts. he can't even look in mirrors or reflective surfaces because his mind plays dirty tricks on him and they feel far too real and terrify him

i think that's all i can write down for now before i spin out, so

full disclaimer right here at the end because some people might need to be reminded: just because henry jekyll is an awful person (in canon!!!) AND has mental illnesses, doesn't mean the two terms correlate and if you think so then get off my post because that's absurd

and with that, we will wrap this thing up!

thanks for reading if you did, here's a little something for the road 🍬 and if anyone has their own headcanons, i'd love to hear about them 🤍

[wosoimagines]

Rivals Head Cannons Pt. 1

It's a pretty long head cannon list that I came up with thanks to my friend picking out the questions they most wanna know about Jo.

If Jo had a spirit animal, what form would it take? A tiger. Jo grew up relying mostly on herself to show up so she's learned how to handle a lot of the pressure that's placed on her. Jo also isn't afraid to take on challenges placed in front of her. Jo heavily relies on her instincts to help her make decisions as they usually don't fail her. But on top of that, Jo often gets compared to tigers as she gets older while playing considering just how graceful she can be when the ball is at her feet, but also how aggressive she is when she's put in scoring positions. She also becomes a lot more protective of her teammates and is usually the first to rush to confront other players who make risky fouls against her team.

If Jo was faced with a genie, what would she use her three wishes for and why? The first thing to note is that Jo is a selfless person, so she wouldn't wish for anything specifically for herself, but rather the people around her. The first thing she would wish for is that her parents' financial burden is taken care of. Jo knows that 13 kids cost a lot of money. And that's without most of them playing sports in a country where it is a pay-to-play situation. So Jo is used to getting off brand products and hand-me-downs, and she just wishes that her family wouldn't always have to worry about making sure they aren't overspending on necessitates. The second thing that Jo would wish for is that women's injuries would decline. Jo knows that injuries come with such a high performance job, but the number of injuries that women's sports see is insane and she would love to see it decline. The third thing that Jo would wish for is that Sky is never neglected like she is. Jo loves her niece a lot and she knows that she will never let Sky's accomplishments go unnoticed but she never wants Sky to feel as if she will never good enough for the rest of their family the way that Jo has spent her life.

A skill Jo would love to have. More of one that Jo's working on rather than love to have, but photography. Becky got Jo a film camera for her 16th birthday and Jo's been wanting to learn how to shoot good photos. It kinda of took a back burner due to her education and career, and also film just costs a lot of money. Jo does it occasionally since every now and then Becky will buy her film. But it's a skill that Jo really starts to develop during the pandemic shutdown.

If Jo's a doodler or a writer. Definitely a doodler. Especially since Tobin and Christen got her a new art set for her 16th birthday. It resparked her love for drawing which has led to her notes always having little doodles on the sides. If Jo can get away with it she'd rather her notes be doodles rather than writing anyways.

What kind of keepsakes does Jo have? From her family, Jo has a teddy bear, name Bobo, that her grandma made her when she was born. But other than the teddy bear, any kind of keepsakes she tries to keep usually end up accidentally destroyed by her family. Jo also has a habit of swapping jerseys, especially for big games, as keepsakes. She's just really bad about framing them so most are shoved in her closet.

Most prized possession. Jo's 2020 Olympic medal. She had to put in a lot of extra work to get it, both mentally and physically. There were also a lot of questions that Jo silenced to earn the medal so it means a lot more to her than anything else.

Any nervous tics Jo might have. Jo's leg shakes when she's nervous. Like really bad. Jo also used to be a nail bitter, but once she joined the national team they helped stop that habit by constantly making sure Jo's nails had a clear coat of nail polish on her fingers.

If Jo has any blemishes and how she got them? Jo has a couple of smaller scars from just playing rough as a kid with her siblings. One of the most notable is a scar in Jo's left eyebrow that came from just knocking her head on the edge of a table when she was a kid. Just above Jo's right elbow is a scar that looks suspiciously like a few of the squares from a tennis racket. Jo does have occasional scars from surgeries she's had from sports injuries. Jo also probably develops a few dark spots later in life that do have to be checked just to make sure they aren't skin cancer but they develop from how much time Jo spent outside in her youth and as an athlete who plays an outdoors sport.

Favorite type of music. Jo has really only grown up around country music, so she is a big country fan. Before joining the USWNT, Taylor Swift was really the only artist she would listen to outside of country (thanks to Taylor's start in country music), but Jo wasn't completely sold on Taylor's turn to pop music until Reputation. Since joining the USWNT, Jo has started to branch out to listen to other music so she's still finding her style and at the moment she's been listening to a lot of indie music.

Favorite book. The Picture of Dorian Gray. It was the first book that Becky read to her. Becky was the one to really get Jo into reading as a way to destress. It had started slowly with Becky being the one to read to Jo while they were in camp before Jo started asking Becky for recommendations on what she could read. Because of that, the first book Becky read to Jo just means so much more to her than other books do.

[waywardxrhea]

Part Twenty-Two: Training

[slow burn romance between Steve Rogers and SHIELD agent Emma Baker]

Warnings: 18+, contains humor, fluff, mental health, family trauma, romance, angst, language, violence, (potentially smut later on).

installment list

Word count: 4k

Emma trains with the Avengers.

Over the next few weeks, Emma begins her training with the Avengers. She first starts with Natasha, working on her fighting form. The first days are a bit rough, with Emma wanting to give up multiple times. When she gets really frustrated, Natasha can tell, so when this happens one day, she stops and asks her, "You like music right?"

"Yeah, why?" Emma asks, confused.

"Well fighting is kind of like dancing in a way. Your opponent's moves are usually in a pattern, or rhythm because everyone fights in their own style, usually the same way every time. If you can figure that pattern out then it's easy to knock them off that rhythm and beat them."

"Okay, I can see that. Where are we going with this analogy?"

"Let's call it for the day while I explain." The two gather their stuff and head out of the training gym. While heading out, Natasha says, "Well for training we can program a playlist into SAM for you to practice with so we can get you into that habit of a rhythmic fight. Maybe we can get into contact with Stark and see if he can program the AI to see an opponent's patterns too. In theory, this programming could then find a song that matches their fighting pattern and you could use that to your advantage. With time you'll learn to see the patterns on your own."

Emma smiles and says, "I'd like to try that. Whatever can help me get better at this whole hand-to-hand combat thing."

"Hey it's not that you're bad, you're surprisingly good at it actually. You just aren't at the level the rest of us are. I've had years of training, Steve is...well Steve, Sam and Rhodey are military men, and Wanda and Vision have powers so they don't even have to deal with combat."

"I just hope I won't be dragging you guys down..."

"It's not like we've had too many leads on anything lately, so we have time," Natasha replies with a small smile.

Maria walks up behind them and says, "Not for long, hopefully. We've started to hear things floating around that may indicate that Rumlow of all people is up to no good. We'll need everyone with the skillset searching for him, that includes the both of you."

Natasha nods, telling her, "Give us the intel that you have and we can get on it."

"See now this is more my speed," Emma says. "Now I know I'll keep busy with training and this plus what's left of my personal life. Or lack thereof."

"I'm sure you'll be fine," Maria tells her as Natasha waves a quick farewell and heads off. When she's out of earshot, Maria says, "It's not like you're doing anything about that personal life of yours."

Emma gives her a look and asks, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Em, your so-called personal life is your weekly video chat with your therapist and occasionally taking a trip into the city with me to see a show."

"What's wrong with that? I like hanging out with you!"

"And I like hanging out with you, but you need to do something about your not so little crush on-" Maria abruptly stops her sentence as Sam and Steve round the corner.

Emma can't help the slight blush that creeps onto her cheeks as Sam greets them with a smile. Relief floods her body when neither mentions what Maria had been talking about though. Realizing this, Emma relaxes and asks casually, "Where are you two off to?"

"I'm about to prove to Steve I can beat him in a fight," Sam says confidently.

"Good luck with that, Wilson," Emma tells him with a laugh. Before they head off, Maria's words echo in her head, and a wave of confidence hits Emma. She turns to Steve before he turns away and says, "Hey you got this," with a subtle wink. Steve smiles and mouths Thank you before heading off.

When they're out of sight, Maria elbows Emma in the ribs and smirks before saying, "See, you just have to do more of that. Did you see that stupid smile on his face?"

Emma can't help the smile on her own as she replies, "I will admit that was a rush. I just feel like life is about to get way too busy to try and navigate this...flirtationship."

"Life is never too busy for love," Maria replies.

"Tell that to yourself! I don't see you riding off into the sunset with prince charming."

"Do as I say not as I do, Baker," Maria quips back while they walk to her office space to start on their intel hunt.

A few more weeks of training and intel hunting go by in a breeze with Emma not even realizing how much time had gone by. One afternoon when the rest of the team had gone out following a small lead they found, Emma and Sam are sitting on the couches in the living area trying to find more information for their manhunt.

While they search, they off-handedly chat, Sam asking, "So how's your training with Nat been going? I've noticed you're getting a lot quicker and stronger with your fighting."

"Oh thanks, I think it's been going well actually. Stark helped us get some extra programs into SAM so I can be more battle-ready. You know if that time ever comes."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, there haven't been any crazy events that need avenging in the last few months since Sokovia. I feel like HYDRA and whatever other organizations may be out there are just taking a break."

Sam laughs, saying, "That isn't a bad thing by any means."

"Exactly," Emma replies, taking a sip of her water.

Sam decides to tease her by saying, "What, are you scared of fighting some bad guys now that you're an Avenger?"

"Not scared, just..." she pauses and stops her search on her laptop. "I feel like I would definitely be the first one of all of us taken out. You, Wanda, Vision, and Rhodes can fly, Steve and Natasha are complete badasses, and I've got a drone. I just feel a bit in over my head." At the conclusion of her statement, Emma starts messing with the hem of her shirt to distract herself from her anxious thoughts.

"Ems, Steve and I wouldn't let anything happen to you," Sam tells her. "You've had our backs with that tech of yours all this time, and we'll have yours if it comes to it."

"Thanks, Sam," Emma replies, a small smile on her lips.

"Now, since neither of us seems to have made any progress over the last hour, wanna go outside and do some training? I'll suit up, you get that drone of yours and we'll see what you've got against me."

"Oh, you're on, Wilson!"

Emma and Sam both take off to get their gear and meet outside where she switches on all of SAM's combat tech once she gets into the field. When she doesn't see Sam anywhere without assistance, she puts her drone in stealth mode to fly up and find him.

"If you want the games to begin you'll have to find me first," Sam's voice comes through the coms that are attached to her AI glasses.

Emma scans the surrounding area and sees him crouched behind some of the training tires that are in one of the far fields. "Game on, Wilson."

Along with her combat training, Natasha had started to train Emma in undercover work and espionage, so she tries to use that training to sneak up on Sam. She scans the area again trying to find the best ways to sneak over to where he is but is suddenly alerted of an alarm trip on the roof of the compound.

"Did you see that sensor trip?" Sam asks.

"Affirmative," Emma replies, abandoning the mission to find him.

"I'm gonna go see what it was," Sam tells her.

"Well at least come get me!"

"You got it," he says with a laugh. He flies by and grabs Emma under the arms to fly the pair of them to the roof, asking, "You eager for your possible first real fight as an Avenger?"

"Hell yeah," Emma replies as they land on the roof.

The pair of them look around but can't see anything at first glance. Through her glasses though, Emma sees a man the size of an ant standing on the roof. She elbows Sam subtly and he uses his goggles to see the man as well. "I can see you," Sam announces.

The man suddenly grows to full size, making Emma jump a little bit. Under her breath, she mutters to her AI, "SAM can you find anything on this guy?"

"On it, boss."

"Hi, I'm Scott," the man says with a small wave.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asks.

"First off, I'm a big fan," Scott tells him. He then turns to Emma and says, "Oh and you're that chick that does the reporting! And the blogs! You're one of the reasons I'm such a big hero fan, I'm so honored to meet you!"

Emma smiles a bit but then remembers that the man is an intruder, so she drops the smile and says, "While we appreciate the recognition, who are you? We're gonna need a bit more than just Scott."

"How about Ant-Man? You heard of me that way?"

As he says this, SAM pulls up a file on him that shows his prison record. Using the new knowledge, Emma says, "Now, Mr. Lang, I see you have a heist record. Tell us why we shouldn't take you down right now for breaking onto the property, presumably for a heist."

"Well I know it seems bad that I came uninvited, but I just need to borrow some technology. I'll bring it back in a few days, you won't even know it's gone. I just need it to save the world, you guys know how that is."

"Yeah, we know exactly how that is," Sam tells him while taking a step toward him. Sam then radios to the security guards in the facility, "I've located the breach, bringing him in."

"I'm really sorry about this," Lang says before shrinking down and then coming right back up to punch Sam in the jaw, sending him flying. Sam releases his wings and grabs Emma to drop her to the ground below, shouting, "You see if you can find him down there, I'll search in the air. He can't have gone far!" Emma tucks into a flip before smoothly getting up and running, calling out her understanding of the order.

Emma keeps her drone out of sight in stealth mode so they could at least have that element of surprise and continues the chase on foot. SAM spots Lang in the grass and Emma sprints over to where he's running. "Wilson, on my location!"

"On it!" Sam lands shortly and begins trying to stomp on Lang when he locates him.

Lang, in his tiny form, begins attacking Sam, knocking powerful blows to him that should not be possible for someone of that size. Emma has SAM analyze his patterns and is about to attack when Sam deals a punch to Lang that ends with him on the ground in his full-sized form.

Sam starts to tend to a glitch on his suit and tells Emma, "Cover me!"

Emma takes a stance between Sam and the man. Immediately, Lang gets up and apologizes, telling her, "I'm sorry, I'm sure you're a great person, but I need to do this." With those words, he shrinks down and knocks a punch into Emma's abdomen.

With the wind knocked out of her, Emma powers through and makes a quick jab to where Lang was flying midair by her face. She hears him groan in pain as he turns back to normal size for another round. From above, SAM fires blasters, providing a distraction while Emma runs at him to get him off his feet again. She sweeps her leg under his and pins him to the ground, but right as she does, he shrinks down and out of her hold.

Lang flies up and knocks Emma to the ground before rounding on Sam, catching him in a hold with his legs. Sam turns on his jetpack and drags the pair of them down the field, going flying when Lang goes small again. Emma gets up from the dirt and races over to where Sam is, helping him up. Right as he gets to his feet, he uses his wings to hit Lang which returns him to his full size on the ground. That doesn't last for long though as he shrinks down and starts running yet again.

"How the hell are we supposed to beat this guy?" Emma asks. Sam doesn't answer, he just runs in the direction of the building Lang is heading to. Emma sighs and follows the pair who enter the storage area.

"What if he really does need this to save the world? Who are we to stop him?" Emma asks quietly as they enter the dark room.

Sam shoots her a look. "Wanting to save the world, that's exactly what Ultron said. And HYDRA with the murder helicarriers. How can we trust someone who just barges into the facility to take Stark's tech? And that's another thing, you could get fired by Stark and Potts. Let's just focus on getting this guy."

Out of nowhere, Sam's wings spread, almost hitting Emma. She jumps out of the way but then scoffs and says, "Okay, wow you didn't have to try and decapitate me, I was just thinking out loud."

"I'm not doing this!" Sam shouts as he goes flying out of the door. "He's in my pack!"

Emma curses and begins running after him, shouting, "SAM what can we do?"

"Running scans on the pack now," she replies. After a second, she says, "There isn't much we can do other than shooting the pack with the blasters. He's taking the thing apart from the inside!"

"Well, I'm not shooting him out of the sky!"

"I'm going down either way! Just do it!" Sam shouts.

"SAM, lowest impact blaster. Get at an angle where you don't have to risk hurting Wilson. Do it now!"

"Yes ma'am," the voice comes. Emma runs in Sam's direction as she tracks the drone's movements with her glasses and watches it shoot a blaster at the pack right when Sam is getting closer to the ground. She flinches when the blast makes contact but is grateful that he doesn't get hurt.

After the impact of falling to the ground, Sam gets up as Emma meets with him. He takes his goggles off, telling her, "They're fried. Where the hell did he go?"

Emma looks around and sees Lang flying off on an ant. She begins ordering blaster shots at him, but he gets away quickly and is out of sight. "Damnit," she whispers as she calls her drone back to their location.

She helps Sam onto his feet and they begin to walk back into the compound. "Can we both agree that Cap doesn't need to know about this?" Sam asks as they head inside.

Emma laughs and nods, telling him, "I can agree to that, Mr. I can beat Captain America in a fight. How'd that go anyways? I never followed up."

"Well, I really thought I had him at first. He seemed super distracted in the beginning." He smirks and asks, "Do you happen to know anything about that? You were in fact the last one we talked to before going to the gym."

Emma smiles mischievously and replies, "No, no idea. Maybe you're just getting really good, Wilson."

"Uh-huh, that's what it is," he responds, laughing. The two get to the labs to start getting Sam's pack fixed. "Again, no word of this to Steve, okay? You need to erase that footage from SAM's drive and we need to go erase the security cams that captured that."

Emma glances over at him and asks innocently, "Oh come on, what if I wanted to use that footage to figure out what I need to work on fighting-wise?"

"Oh don't you use that excuse, you get enough combat training that you can use any of that footage."

"But those are controlled fights with my peers, not an actual fight where the person was trying to beat us."

Sam gives in, sighing as he says, "Fine. You can keep your drone footage, but I'm deleting the security cams. And I swear if Steve even gets a second of that footage, you are not going to enjoy our next game night, Baker."

"Oh I'm so scared!" Emma replies sarcastically. The two laugh as they set up the lab tech with Sam's broken pack. They walk out of the lab to go back to their intel search and Emma asks, "What if someone asks about the blaster scorches in the field or the broken garage door Lang threw you out of?"

Sam thinks for a second before responding with "We took our training game a bit too far."

"Fair enough," Emma replies as she sits down on the couch again, settling in to continue her search.

Over the next couple of months, training continues with little to no encounters with any threats. Sam and Emma keep their little fight with Ant-Man a secret from the rest of the team in the meantime until they find something on him.

Some days when the team is training together, they split off into groups for sparring with Natasha watching. Almost every single time Emma and Steve end up together, this being completely intentional on the rest of the team's part.

"So we meet again," Steve says with a smile as he faces Emma for the exercise.

"That we do," Emma replies, smiling back. "You ready to have your ass handed to you?"

Steve laughs at Emma's joke and tells her, "You may be kidding but I know you've been working hard with Nat, I'm not gonna underestimate you."

"Good idea," Emma says with a wink and a laugh as they get ready.

The two go easy on each other for a few minutes, passing jokes and quips between each other as they go. Natasha walks by and sees this, telling them, "Oh come on don't be afraid to hurt each other. You can walk it off if you do."

Emma laughs and tells her, "Nat, I'm not worried about hurting him."

"Let's try that technique I showed you the other day, Baker. Steve, pin Emma to the ground," Natasha says with a smirk. Steve's powerful stance falters for a second when she tells him this. Nat notices and tells him, "Oh man up, Rogers."

"Yes ma'am," Steve says, regaining his focus. Before Emma even has time to process what's happening, Steve has her pinned to the floor, holding her shoulders down. Emma looks up at Steve above her and can feel the heat in her cheeks, hoping it isn't noticeable.

After what feels like forever looking into Steve's eyes, Emma's mind and body kick into gear, remembering the move Nat showed her. She quickly tucks her elbows close to her body so Steve couldn't get his knees under her arms. She then crosses her body with her arm and grabs Steve's wrist with one hand and his tricep with the other to lock his arm in place. Kicking up one foot, she loops it over to the outside of one of Steve's legs and plants the other between them. Their bodies are entangled impossibly close together, and although she wants to, Emma tries not to focus on that as she continues the move. With Steve's body locked into place, Emma lifts her hips and flips the two of them over with a bit of effort. When she's on top, she pins his shoulders to the ground and says, "Good thing you didn't underestimate me."

"Wouldn't have dreamed of it," Steve replies, holding eye contact with her.

From behind them, Sam whistles. "Get a room you two," he teases. Natasha smirks at the comment, giving Sam a high five in response.

"Okay everyone, let's call it for the day," Natasha calls and everyone starts heading to the door.

Emma rolls off of Steve and onto the mat, rubbing her shoulder a bit from the impact of it hitting the floor when Steve pinned her. Steve stands and offers Emma a hand up. She takes it and he tells her, "You had great form, I'm impressed. I'm sorry if I was a bit rough on you."

"Thanks," Emma tells him with a smile. "I was just a bit caught off guard at first is all."

Steve subtly looks around to see if Sam was around before telling Emma with a smirk, "I could tell." Emma's heart jumps in her chest at the words, but before she can come up with a response, Steve is already heading for the door.

Emma stands frozen in the room alone, or so she thinks. She hears footsteps behind her and then comes Maria's voice saying, "Wow! You could cut the sexual tension there with a knife! And you say it's still just a flirtationship?"

Emma groans and replies, "Yes, I'm sure." Only then does she realize the shaking in her hands from the encounter. "Every time we have to pair up for training, Steve and I end up together, and every time it ends like this. Sam makes a joke, one of us turns up the flirting, and then nothing happens after that."

"Well, why don't you do something about it next time?"

"Maria, you act as if I know how to do that."

"You don't?"

"We've been over this, I don't have good experiences with relationships. At all. Any other relationship I've been in was my partner taking advantage of me because I just wanted to prove my parents wrong and prove that I could be loved. I had no clue what a relationship was supposed to be like, so I got taken advantage of." She sighs as she lets her hair down, continuing with, "I have so many feelings for Steve and he makes me think I could be worth loving, but I'm so afraid to take the jump because I don't want to get hurt. I would rather suffer from all these feelings than lose him... Who knows, I could be making it all up too, the flirting I mean. I'd hate to ruin what we have over a complete misinterpretation of what's going on."

"Emma, if he's been flirting back then he's got to have feelings for you," Maria tells her.

"But if he feels the same way then why doesn't he make a move? What if it's just flirting?"

"Steve wouldn't do that, Em. He's an honest guy and doesn't seem like the type that would lead someone on like that. As for the first problem there, what if he has the same anxiety about making a move as you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the last girl he cared for in this way he had to say goodbye to. What if he's afraid of something like that happening again?"

Emma thinks for a second and nods. "I see your point, I guess at the moment I'm just gonna have to be fine with what we have going on because I'm not sure I'll ever have the confidence to make the first move. Plus I've been busy trying to find out intel on Rumlow and Ant-" she pauses, "another person that caught my radar."

"If you're talking about what happened with that Ant-Man guy, I totally know what happened, Em," Maria laughs. "Sam may have deleted the footage, but the security guy told me everything."

Emma laughs and tries to keep the subject away from her awful anxiety about wanting to be with Steve. "So you know how Sam totally got his ass whooped?"

"You act as if you didn't!"

"Okay physically yes, but my tech was intact at the end of that battle, so I say I did better!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Emma."

Emma laughs before parting ways with Maria to freshen up. While walking back to her room, she can't help her mind wandering to all the times Steve has acted flirtatious towards her and she smiles at the thought.

a/n: okay this was one of my favorite chapters to write because I got to display Sam and Emma's friendship but also because we're finally in the territory of open flirting between Emma and Steve! Oh my heart, I love them!

link to the next part

[destinygoldenstar]

Here's a fun fact:

In TDDRI, Izzy was originally NOT supposed to be alive as long as she is. She was supposed to die in the Chapter 2 execution, like it was framed she would. The backstory was the same, her reasons for killing Cody was the same, but she didn't have that much relevance to the story.

Which is crazy, because for those who read the fic, she's VERY relevant, and will be going forward.

But yeah, originally she was just a side character and a Chapter 2 Culprit who died like any Culprit did.

So what changed? The reception I got from the fic. People loved her character in the fic so much, and were heavily intrigued in what she'd do in the future.

So I decided to keep her around longer and made her part much bigger.

It is so rare that I EVER listen to my fans on dictating my writing choices. I'm one of those people who believe that writers should do their own thing and make the story they want. This is the exception.

Why? Because what I originally had was far less interesting, and I got pointed out the loads of potential Izzy had with the narrative I gave her.

For example, originally, it was the Mastermind that made Chapter 4's motive, not Izzy. Which, if you know, would've been very out of character for the Mastermind, who wants to rehabilitate everyone and not actively torture and kill them. Whereas Izzy wanted to kill and torture them.

Keeping Izzy around actively helped polish some of the plot holes in my original script.

Izzy is one of the most unique characters I've written in anything for sure. Why? Because with the others there's SOME logic to their actions and behaviors. But with Izzy, there seems to be next to none besides trauma and wanting to spite the killing games that caused said trauma. She constantly lies to everyone and herself, she constantly gains different perspectives from whats happened to her, and there is little to no rationality behind her thinking whatsoever.

As written to quote Noah: "If you can't make sense of it, she can. Simple as that."

I'm not psychotic. I'm autistic. Those two things are NOT similar at all btw. I had to do research, and even then I think I got stuff wrong. But I do kind of relate to that line from my own habits. Sometimes there isn't any logic behind what people do. Some people don't have a good emotional control for example, and logic is out the window. For psychos, the definition is NOT 'crazy' it's actually 'disconnected from reality'. You see things that aren't there. You start behaving on your own rules and not the rules of the real world. You get triggered in some form by things that seem irrational to others.

Based on that, you can actually see multiple TDDRI characters being/becoming psychotic because of the game. (Like Lindsay, the Mastermind, or hell, even Duncan) Izzy is just the most experienced with it, therefore she is triggered the most. I didn't want to portray mental illness as the reason why Izzy is 'evil'. I don't call her evil, personally. That's really up to how you view her. That's why it's easy to see multiple characters suffering from stuff like this, to show that different people have different reactions, and it's not 'psychosis makes you a bad person'. That's not true.

The other characters calling her crazy is NOT necessarily me the writer telling the audience to see psychos as crazy. It's these particular characters not knowing how psychosis works and interpreting it inaccurately. Like real people with no experience do.

Basically, Izzy is chaotic. She goes by her own rules. She doesn't care what the good or evil choice is. She just does or the sake of her own emotions and mind playing her. It's all from real life experience that she's had, and of course, people not understanding what psychosis is. Logic is not the way to understanding her.

I usually write characters based on logic, but thanks to Izzy forcing a new approach, I feel like these characters have become more authentic as a result. When it comes to fiction, we often interpret character's actions as something 'in character' for them, something that can be explained, something that can be easily understandable. It's bad writing if it's not.

That's actually not the real world, and I've certainly had perspective shifts from that in life. There's so many other factors from people's actions. Stuff that can't be explained at all. We like to think we're not biased, but sometimes we are and we can't find logic as to why we're biased, for example.

I think that's the appeal of Izzy in this fic. She's one of the toughest characters to crack the code of, and that's why she's brought so much life to this fic and helped me make it feel a lot more real on the psychological destruction these games can do to people.

So, I'm happy y'all wanted her to stay around. Idk if the story would've worked nearly as well otherwise.

[spicedwatermel0n]

TW// S/H, BLOOD, BRUISING, AND IMPLIED ABUSE ON THE THIRD IMAGE, TALK OF ABUSE, ALCOHOL AND S/H IN SECOND PART OF THE CAPTION BELOW THE DRAWINGS.

I would also like to add that these are mostly headcanons that I've made for coping with my own trauma with the subjects. I make these headcanons for my own comfort knowing that I'm not alone when struggling, and for people who struggle with these things themselves who wish they could see their struggles portrayed in their favorite characters. I do NOT support acts of hurting oneself or others and if you're in a bad situation please get help if you can <33 these struggles can occur at ANY age. If you see signs of someone possibly hurting themselves, hurting others, or being hurt, no matter how young or old, tell someone who can help them get out of the situation.

I think they'd always be there for each other, even for small things like one of them being a little angry or one of them just having a bad day. They love each other, and feel comfortable enough around each other to let out their emotions freely without fear of being shamed. Wally likes to tell Hoagie that they're "battling this together", even if what is happening to Hoagie has nothing to do with Wally. He likes to compare it to fights with adult tyranny where he thought he'd lose but ended up winning in the end, and tells Hoagie that he just needs to keep fighting.

They both share similar struggles, both are abused and both have a tendency to hurt themselves on purpose when they feel strong negative emotions. Wally deals with his mother who lost her job recently and has taken to drinking alcoholic beverages to cope, which causes unnecessarily violent actions towards Wally and ONLY Wally, at completely unexpected points. She's normally very sweet and caring, but the alcohol messes with her and makes her feel as though she needs to punish her older son in more extreme ways. Wally has gotten used to the feeling of being hurt that he impulsively hurts himself constantly out of habit (typically with his nails, scissors, edges of tables, etc) or out of anger (banging his head, ripping his hair out, slapping his face, etc). Hoagie deals with the same issues, but they form much differently than they do for Wally. His grandma hurts him both mentally and physically, but instead of doing it when/where no one else can see like Wally's mom, she does it anywhere at any time in front of anyone. His mom is too afraid to confront her own mother, so he's forced to deal with her abuse (caused by dementia). Unfortunately, Hoagie grew up with unrestricted internet access and learned about unhealthy coping skills far too early in his life. He never showed an issue with keeping himself safe until Abby had a brief struggle with it a year prior to the show. She had picked it up from Cree, who encouraged her to hurt herself to make herself feel better. Of course, she realized how horrible it made her feel and the permanent damage it would cause and stopped doing it, and eventually got her sister to get help for it, but Hoagie began doing it afterwards because Abby had explained to him *why* people hurt themselves sometimes. He ended up with a habit of hurting himself very quickly, and even got to a point of addiction to hurting himself (that only lasted a week thankfully) where he would carry around a box cutter and just start hurting himself at any time and place if he felt the urge to. He's gotten much better about it thanks to support from his friends, but he still deals with occasional relapses.

The two are sticking together to try and keep the other safe. They both struggle with trusting people but they've grown so comfortable around each other that they can trust one another with almost no issue. That has proven very helpful for their recovery, as they both kinda just needed someone they can genuinely trust. They usually just watch Yipper together when they feel bad, it's their favorite thing to watch together lol... Besides romcom, which is more of Hoagies taste, but Wally still enjoys them because it makes Hoagie happy

[plothooksinc]

💥 🦋 🔮

For the fanfic ask meme! \o/

I am so disorganised /rummages through this inbox

I like answering things in order but the oldest thing I have is a fic prompt and THAT TAKES A LITTLE LONGER so let me just convince my brain to jump the queue--

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Can we... can we do something about the supposedly Japanese characters in TMNT. Like. Aside from the stereotyping we get, there's a Cho Chang situation going on here where Eastman and Laird pulled names that sounded Japanese to them out of their asses without much thought. Hamato Yoshi can just fly I think (Hamato is an extremely rare surname in Japan but at least it exists), but Saki is primarily a girl's name and uh.

/JUST. STARES AT TANG SHEN.

2k12 made a pass at having her make sense by giving her a Chinese grandfather, but Shen is also primarily a boy's name so /throws hands up in the air

I get it, this was two cartoonists having fun one day and making up ridiculous shit, but the more I stare at these names the more I'm like "could you have just maybe... researched a little...?" Also, lemme just reach out and thwap the '03 writers for referring to Karai as "Miss Saki". /thwap

(I mean, the whole premise is cracked so this is not a dealbreaker but if I could go in at ground level and change something, this would be it. Also as full disclosure, I'm pretty sure I was also guilty of making up Japanese-sounding names in my first fanfic, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

Leo! In all incarnations but Rise, I think, where he got edged out by Donnie, the theatre kid. (Leo is my absolute fave but when it comes to writing Donnie's just fun. Leo is an extremely close second, though. Can I just say "Disaster Twins" for Rise?)

🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?

First, be kind to yourself. Take breaks. If it's burnout, give yourself a week off. If it's writer's block, switch focus and either write something small and unrelated (even if it's completely shit) or write a little bit further on just for fun. If it's depression/executive dysfunction/a complete lack of time, write within your means. Even a paragraph a day is progress. Better some than none at all. Doesn't matter if you come back the next day and throw out that paragraph and start again; you tried. And trying forms a habit and will hopefully get you around those very annoying mental blocks. :/ It worked for me, so hey. That's my advice.

Thank you!

Writer's ask meme here.

[ageless-aislynn]

Okay, so I have a habit of talking out loud to my Halo game while I play. For example, in Halo 3 ODST, “Uplift Rising” there’s a point where one of the marines asks you (Dutch) to do something about the Wraiths and I inevitably say, “Well, pal, I’ll try but they’re probably going to kill me a few times first.” It’s just my thing. 😁

Then I got to thinking that I tend to call many of the characters by some sort of pet/nickname (except for my ODST team, oddly; I just call them by their names 🤷‍♀️). So here, for your reading pleasure (???) are the off-the-cuff things I call other characters in the Halo games:

*SPOILERS FOR ALL GAMES MENTIONED*

Halo: Combat Evolved

Captain Keyes - Dad (He started it by calling me son when he gave me his Magnum so that’s not on me 😇)

Cortana - Babe (She’ll say something like “Keep your head down, there’s two of us in here now, you know!” and I’ll say something back like, “I’m doing my best here, babe!”)

The Flood Infection forms - Cabbages (“Get away from me, you evil little cabbages!” Must be said with ABSOLUTE BLAZING SCORN as well. 😡😂)

All other Flood forms - Bozos (“Get away from me, you buncha Bozos!” Note: that’s referring to the clown, not the guy who started Amazon, a small but distinct difference in spelling. 🤷‍♀️😇)

Halo 2

Sgt Avery Johnson - Boss (He’ll complain that I made him trade his sniper rifle for whatever “lesser” gun I had and I’ll say, “Sorry, boss. Them’s the breaks.”)

The Elites who show up to help the Arbiter - My Good Dudes (They’ll be all “Look, it’s the Arbiter!” and I’ll say, “Thanks for coming, my good dudes! I appreciate it!”)

The Grunts who show up to help the Arbiter - My Good Little Dudes

Rtas ‘Vadum/Shipmaster - Bud (As in ”Good of you to show up, Bud!” or “Well, I’d rather you’d come down the elevator with me since you’re invincible, Bud, but stay here if that’s what you’ve gotta do.”)

Halo: Reach

Carter - Sir (Apparently the only member of Noble Team I respect??? 🤷‍♀️😇 Except I sometimes get a bit of an attitude about it. He’s all “Hurry up and get that AA gun offline, Six!” and I’ll say “I’m literally TRYING, sir. Like, right this second, I’m trying but they’re shooting at me.”)

Kat - Baby (I spend way too much time trying to coax her into getting into a Warthog with me: “Come on, baby, just get in the Warthog and we’ll go destroy the AA gun. It’ll be fun, I promise!!!”)

Jun - Pal (He’ll tell me I assassinated that Elite really nicely and I’ll give him a chipper, “Thanks, pal, that means a lot to me!”)

Emile - Baby Boy (I have no idea why I call him and only him this but I do it the entire game, lol. “Baby boy, I’m just trying to save your life here, trust me!”)

Jorge - I call him by his name but almost always add “I love you” to it. “Jorge, I love you, thanks for taking out that Skirmisher, he was about to shoot my butt off!” Occasionally might give him a “big man” but always with the ILU. Because I freakin’ love Jorge. 🥰

Halo 3

Cortana - Sweetheart (She has a rough go of things in this one so most of the time it’s a very sympathetic sweetheart, unless she interrupts me with a vision and I nearly die because of it. “Sweetheart, I appreciate that you’re hurting but you’re gonna get me killed if you keep doing that!”)

Sgt Avery Johnson - Bro (If you know this game, you know when I was saying, “No, bro, NOOOOOOO...” 😭😭😭 But previously, when he was up on the hill sniping the Flood for me, I kept saying, “Thanks, bro!”)

The Flood Stalker forms - Evil Spiders (Kinda self-explanatory if you’ve ever seen them skittering around. *shudder*)

The Flood Tank forms - TAAAAAAANK!!! (Very helpful to say out loud in order to warn, um, myself that one of them is coming at me. 😳🤷‍♀️)

Master Chief - Since this is, uh, me in all of the games, I usually just say something like “Chief’s coming, hang on!” but in this game, in the Cortana level where you rescue her and she’s all mentally wrecked and tells you she wants to get out of there, I hand-to-God blurted out, “Don’t worry, sweetheart, Big Daddy’s got you!” 😳😳😳 I have no idea where that came from. I just... Yeah. Whatever. Emotions were running high at the time, what can I say? 😳😳😳😇

Annnd that’s all that I can think of at the moment and I think that’s actually plenty, lol! Oh and as you might’ve noticed, I just finished Halo 3. My feelings were a little mixed as I was playing it, GOOD LAWD some of these levels are LONG, but I appreciate it more now that I’m done. I’m going to go back and explore the levels more, have some fun with them, now that I’m not *game on, face* trying to win, you know? 😣😉

Big Daddy, out.

[northropi]

my art's been in a weird place forever because like... ok let's just talk about some stuff

as the name of the sideblog alludes to, i'm colorblind, presumably protanopia (all i know clinically is that i definitely have something but just qualitatively judging how things look vs how things look to me i think it's red-deficiency, so protanopia, the rare kind hooray!!!), and thus coloring is always a pain. i simply don't understand how a lot of that works and so kinda screwed myself in the long run i guess by never advancing past sketches with a lot of my art. my shading is lackluster and even if i had the colors right i lack the inuition for how lighting affects them.

only recently was i presented with the idea that just using patches in a translucent black layer was actually not good, and yeah that explains certain things that felt off, but... how does a linear flat decrease in light availability impact saturation? what? i don't even know whether the tip i heard recommended to make it go up or down and it's all really muddied by the fact that obviously everyone has different techniques like this one person who used bands of higher saturation around the main shading patch and when i HAVE to outsource my VERY PERCEPTION OF COLOR to OTHER PEOPLE that is REALLY CONFUSING.

One thing people say every time it comes up is "oh! art by someone who's got a skewed color perception would be cool actually!" And maybe as a one-off gimmick but for my entire generally sorta realistic/surreal body of work, no, no that'd just have tanks that are pink when they should be grey, that sucks and I'm not doing that.

but THEN come the actual problems with just how i draw. i'm really not in the habit of using guides, changing lineweights... like i recently read the Wikipedia article on Executive Dysfunction between projects at work and got to the part where it said the example of just turning in the rough draft as the final draft and i was like "oh. yeah. i do that." having pen pressure sensitivity is really all i have there because my brain just doesn't want to work that into how i function. perspective can be shaky but hey who's good at it anyways? i feel like i've got a good conception of form in spite of this and that probably is thanks to the fact that i was schooled as an engineer so like, yeah, that's... that's my job.

Part of these habits are certainly to do with my current life situation. I don't have the stability in my life to sit down and perform practice art, or to spend very long periods of time on one piece. I don't have the overall mental fortitude or whatever you'd call it to pick up an unfinished piece the next day after sleeping on it for a while so it's sort of do or die. I don't have the self-awareness in the moment to recognize I'm screwing up and I do not have and cannot afford the patience to slow down and fix things. Maybe there's a day some time soon, but never soon enough, where I'll really be able to dissect it all and come out better, but the prerequisite to that is to basically purchase my own fucking house and regain control of my schedule and space. It must sound like I blame a lot of my failings on that but, holy shit, this place just erodes me.

and then there's the fucking technical stuff. sometimes it really does feel like i'm playing catch-up to where i was on paper, and the fact that i don't know how brushes work, make little effort to optimize my brushes, and have never downloaded brush packs from anyone else (can you just use those? is there a credit thing????) probably really compounds this. making that animation stumped me on several levels because i had all the frames i needed but just couldn't put them together- and once i had them i attempted to change some stuff and it just broke things.

In honesty while I'm getting better at internalizing compliments it's very clear people like me for what I depict rather than my ability to depict it well, and I'm proud of that, but sometimes I start feeling old and like I'm never going to really learn anything from this point and that hurts.