#and i get so overwhelmed by people and their literal energy/vibes that it feels as though I'm caught in a sneaker wave and being pulled

[deesseshesca]

PAC: What does my life look like once I hit my full potential?

Hope I make it out of here.

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PILE 1

Oh, bestie, I feel you on this. Balancing hustle and chill vibes is so important when you’re in that “level-up” era, especially with the Lovers card as your overall energy—it’s giving alignment and divine choices. Here’s the tea:

First, trust that this new career opportunity isn’t just a job; it’s a gateway to something magical. Your next lover is literally waiting for you on the other side of this. Like, how iconic is that? The universe is basically screaming, “This is part of your glow-up!”

But let’s keep it real: grinding too hard can mess with your flow. So, schedule your downtime like it’s a business meeting—whether that’s journaling, bingeing your fave show, or vibing out with a playlist that makes you feel main character energy. Chill time isn’t lazy; it’s necessary. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

When it comes to hustle, think of it like this: show up and give your best, but don’t overthink it. Be intentional, not overwhelmed. Remember, the Lovers card is also about harmony—so treat your hustle like a love story. Be passionate, but know when to step back and breathe.

And here’s the real plot twist: this opportunity isn’t just about meeting them. It’s about meeting the next, more evolved version of you. They’ll love that version of you, and so will you. So take the leap, but keep your soul soft. You’ve got this. ❤️

PREVIOUS READING

2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)

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PILE 2

Okay, imagine this: when you hit your full potential, your life looks like the perfect balance of confidence and rest. You’ve worked hard to know your worth and never settle, and now you’re living in a way that matches that energy. Think quiet mornings in a space that feels so you, reflecting on your growth while sipping your favorite coffee—unbothered and untouchable.

But here’s the thing: getting there doesn’t mean you’re grinding 24/7. You’ll learn that slowing down is the power move. For example, instead of saying yes to everything, you’ll get super intentional about what aligns with your long-term goals. If an opportunity feels off or doesn’t match your vision, you’ll confidently pass, knowing that better things are waiting.

That self-love you’ve mastered? It’ll make you a magnet for respect. People will see how deeply you value yourself and will match that energy—or they’ll fall off, and honestly, you won’t care. It’s like you’ll finally be surrounded by relationships, jobs, and opportunities that deserve you because you’ve set the bar so high.

Here’s the practical advice: stay open to adjusting your plans, even when it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes, what looks like a setback is actually setting you up for something bigger. For example, if one path feels blocked, don’t fight it—pivot. Trust that your ability to choose yourself will always lead you to the right place.

And don’t forget to rest without guilt. It’s okay to take breaks to recharge because that’s when your best ideas will come to you. Picture yourself booking a solo trip, splurging on the nicest accommodations, and using that time to dream even bigger while staying grounded in gratitude. You’re leveling up and protecting your peace, and that’s the ultimate glow-up. 🌱✨

PREVIOUS READING

2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)

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PILE 3

Alright, picture this: once you hit your full potential, your life is like a perfectly designed blueprint, executed flawlessly. You’re running the show—waking up early, knocking out your goals, and moving through life like you own it. Your schedule is tight but purposeful, and everything you do feels like a step toward something even bigger.

You’ll probably have this fire inside you to keep starting new projects—like launching that dream business or taking on leadership roles that actually challenge you. People will look at you and think, Wow, they’ve really got it together. But behind the scenes, you’ll know it’s because you’ve built systems for yourself that work. For example, you might have a weekly ritual where you plan every detail, from career moves to self-care, so nothing feels chaotic.

That being said, you’ll need to make space for the unknown too. Life won’t always go exactly as planned, and that’s okay. Think of it like this: when things feel uncertain, don’t freeze up. Instead, take a moment, check in with yourself, and adjust. For example, if a big opportunity comes up and doesn’t look like what you expected, lean into it—it might just be the thing that pushes you further than you imagined.

And here’s a practical tip: track your progress. Maybe it’s a journal where you write down your wins every day, no matter how small, or a calendar where you block out “me time” just as seriously as work tasks. The key is staying grounded while keeping your eyes on the horizon.

Your focus on success will still fuel you, but it’ll feel balanced. Imagine being so confident in what you’ve built that you can finally relax a little, knowing that your foundation is unshakable. You’re not just surviving anymore; you’re thriving. And it’s all because you created the structure to let your ambition flow without burning out. 💡

PREVIOUS READING

2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)

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PILE 4

Okay, so here’s the vibe: when you hit your full potential, your life is gonna feel like this beautiful balance of self-love and success. But here’s the thing—you’ve been carrying a lot, especially with your sibling’s struggles. It’s tough because you want to help, but you have to realize that in order to become the best version of yourself, you have to put yourself first. And I know that’s easier said than done, especially when you love someone so much and want to see them thrive.

You’ve been trying to fix things, trying to heal others, but you can’t keep pouring from an empty cup. You’ve been holding onto a lot of emotional weight, and that’s been draining you. It’s okay to step back and focus on your own growth. I promise, you’re not abandoning anyone by taking care of yourself. In fact, the more you work on you, the more you’ll be able to help them from a place of peace.

But it’s gonna hurt a bit—letting go of that guilt is a process. You’ll have moments where you feel torn, but trust me, your potential and your future are calling you to take care of you. Your dreams, your goals—they matter, and they deserve your attention. It’s about putting boundaries in place, even if it feels hard at first.

You might not have all the answers right now, and that’s fine. You don’t have to have it all figured out, but you’ll get there. Things will come into focus when you start giving yourself permission to live your life without guilt. It’s gonna feel so freeing once you realize that your own peace and happiness are the foundation for everything else to fall into place.

So take it slow. Focus on your journey, even if it means you need to step away from the chaos a little. You deserve to put yourself first, because the version of you that is fully healed, confident, and at peace is going to be the one that thrives and makes all those big dreams come true. Your success starts with you, and you’re worthy of every bit of it. ❤️

PREVIOUS READING

2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)

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[goquokka00]

The Little Things (Jisung Ver.)

The small things he does every day that make you feel oh, so special.

Bangchan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

| Compares Hands |

Jisung is one of those people where I just get the vibe where he'd be one to regularly compare his hands to yours. Why? I don't know. But I just get the feeling that whenever the two of you are cuddling, Jisung's got your hand in his, and he's just...comparing them.

Your hands are so different compared to his. They're smaller, so much more feminine. They're so soft, probably because you use that one lotion you hidden from him every day on them. They're nothing like his, which we've seen pictures of them and dear GOD, his hands are absolutely fine. They're veiny and long, they're probably rough, but are just so gentle.

A lot of times, Jisung will take your hand and place it against his to directly compare them. And he'll comment on it, too. "Your hands are so cute, baby," or, "Our hands look so perfect together." They're never bad comments, he just likes to tell you how he feels.

| Shares Earbuds |

This is probably a given. Jisung loves music, and we all know this. And that means he's open to hearing a whole variety of music, mainly to help inspire him for songs for Stray Kids. Where else is better to get that than from the person he loves the most?

If you guys are ever out in public or walking around, Jisung will almost ask for an earbud so he can listen to whatever you're listening to. It doesn't matter what you're music tastes are, either. Kpop, rock and roll, pop, country, hip hop, rap, indie, latin, jazz, he'll listen to it all. And if he recognizes the song, he'll happily sing the lyrics.

There are other times where Jisung will want to share his earbud with you, too. I feel like he wouldn't play any spoilers for upcoming albums (Bangchan would murder him alive), but he'd play music that he listens to regularly, wanting to expand your own horizons. As a bonus, I also think that the two of you would make one big playlist of both of your favorites, and you'd listen to that together a lot.

| Holds Your Arm |

Jisung really likes to be close to you at all times. And that means that whenever you two are shopping, or going to different places outside of JYPE or your work area, or even the apartment, there are times where his arms are wrapped around whichever arm of yours is closest to him. Sometimes your arms are linked, but other times, he's clinging to your arm.

I do have a strong feeling that he'd mostly do this if his anxiety was acting up. If he was starting to spiral because of crowds, or his thoughts were overwhelming him because of work, he'd cling to you to try and ground himself. And of course, you'd be there to comfort him.

He'd probably apologize for it. He'd feel bad because you'd have to put up with him like that. But you really don't care. You'd gently rub his hand, keeping it there while guiding him to a less populated area so you two could chill and just breathe. And while he'd feel guilty, Jisung would be so grateful for it.

| Back Hugs in the Morning |

I've said this once in my first ever post, and I'll happily say it again. I am a firm believer of Jisung not being a morning person at all. The late nights down at the studio, writing songs for hours until the early hours of the morning just drain him, and getting up is quite literally a chore in Jisung's mind.

And so, while you're probably making breakfast, I think that Jisung would be the kind of person to come up behind you and pull you back against his chest, the man still half-asleep as he rests his head on your shoulder. He refuses to talk, as it takes too much energy. And so all you get are grunts, hums, and any other noises he decides to make.

Jisung will just cling to you for as long as he needs. If you need to walk to a different area of the kitchen while you're cooking, Jisung will just follow you, not giving you any space whatsoever. Even when he's finally awake and alert, he's not letting you go. At least, not until he gets his good morning kiss.

| Spoils You |

Guys, I kid you not, Jisung will buy you anything and everything you want. You want food from that one restaurant you went to a few weeks ago? Done. You spotted a sweater that you really like? It's yours. You need something for a hobby of yours? Say no more. As long as you're happy, Jisung's happy.

It doesn't even matter how expensive it is. Nothing is too expensive if it's for you. You can complain all you want, too. You don't want him to spend all of his money on you? Too bad. You're happy with just being his? Yeah, but Jisung wants to make you even happier.

I also have this irk that Jisung would buy you souvenirs from wherever he travels to. If it reminds him of you, he'll buy it for you and then give it to you once he gets back to South Korea. And I'm not kidding you, this man would be like so giddy as he watches you react to each and every single gift. He just loves to spoil you beyond belief, and he will NEVER stop.

Hey! Firstly, thank you so much for reading this post, and I really hope you enjoyed! If you did, please like, reblog, or comment so I can see how I'm doing with writing and getting feedback! I hope you have a lovely day! Sleep well, stay in good health, and eat something if you haven't! ❤️❤️❤️

[hwnglx]

this combo of sag and scorpio energy in him is crazy..

sunghoon's ideal type

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

shuffled song: stand still by sabrina claudio

physical traits

watery and striking eyes. (when their eyes just stand out, he thinks lighter colored or blue eyes are beautiful) classic and traditional beauty. conventionally attractive. powerful presence, turns everyone's heads. feminine and elegant. gorgeous and blinding smile. longer and flowy hair. taller height. water or fire risings! i keep seeing margot robbie or anne hathaway.

personality traits

the immediate vibe i got for sunghoon, is that he wants someone invested. and when i say invested, i mean fully. i've said this a lot at this point, but sunghoon has such a dynamic chart, which shows this clear difference in character according to who he's with. he can either be the most easygoing and laidback, or the most intense and passionate person in the room. just put his lover (or someone he deeply cherishes) next to him, and you'll literally see the gaze in his eyes change.

sunghoon wants someone who can handle his intense nature in love. someone who resembles it to a degree, because otherwise they might get overwhelmed or not understand it. he really needs his and his partners love language, and their values in relationships to correlate. he wants to feel like he shares the same passion as his lover, and not get the impression that he's the only one holding on so tightly, when his partner is just kinda meh about it all. he wants a deep and intimate connection, that goes beyond what anyone else could understand. he wants a person he can have a relationship with, that is separate from all the rest, and special and extraordinary in his life. he draws a clear line between the people he holds extra close to his heart, and his standard “friends”. there's this version of sunghoon only his lovers could tell you about.

he likes it when someone won't get intimidated by his intensity. who can hold their ground firmly, not falter under his gaze. he also likes someone who's just very affectionate and romantic. a person who won't be afraid or too shy to be direct in their display of love for him. he wants someone who knows how to love someone in a proper way, who's good at making him feel loved. i also keep hearing “mother of my children” this man is all about longterm commitment. he wants a family-oriented woman who'd be a good mother. responsible and reliable, but also soft and nurturing.

sunghoon loves the idea of a lengthy relationship. he likes sharing history and memories with his lover. i can see him liking the thought of growing old and maturing with his partner, going through various stages together. he wants his lover to be like an “인생 친구” which means lifelong friend. again, it'd give them this special ability to know each other in and out, have things or inside jokes only the two of them understand.

sunghoon also needs his lover to understand that, although he'll be incredibly zoned in on their relationship, he still has goals and achievements of his own, which he won't neglect for their connection. his job requires a lot of work and time, and the possibility of him not always being there 24/7 shouldn't be a problem for his partner. especially because, he truly wants them to trust him. he is not the type to cheat or look elsewhere if he's in a committed relationship. he wants his lover to understand that, and tolerate his personal ambitions. i can also see him liking the thought of his partner having their own ambitions. he enjoys the thought of both of them being goal-driven and hardworking, but once they come together, they can't see anything but each other. in comparison to some other people, sunghoon definitely likes his lovers to resemble him, rather than be entirely different. i can just see him and a gemini venus being extremely difficult. (funny because sunoo is one and yeah.. their relationship is rather complicated)

him as a boyfriend

+ he's a boyfriend who doesn't rush into anything. very slow burning energy. in the beginning stages, sunghoon will be very curious about you as a person. he prefers getting to know his lovers thoroughly first, really getting a grip on their character, understanding their desires and values before taking the next step. he wants to make sure you're on the same wavelength with him, and get this feeling you're the right one, before investing so much of himself into the relationship. he thinks deep and intimate connections between two people who effortlessly understand each other, require a lot of patience. you just have to know each other's every aspect, he'll definitely want to be the only one to know some secrets, you do not tell anyone else about.

he's an amazing listener. he'll enjoy sitting there listening to you talk about yourself for hours and not get tired of it. literally stare in to your soul while you keep rambling. only interrupt you to ask questions and deepen the conversation.

he's definitely a sucker for intimacy, especially in places where he, and no one would expect it. like whispering things in his ear in public could probably make this man melt. i also keep seeing him hold hands with his partner in public and literally squeeze the hell out of their hand, in this possessive manner. like he's telling you “you're mine and with me.” in a wordless manner. there'll be a lot of silent communication between you, you'll just get each other right away.

there's also a very considerate and calm energy to him, where he'll display this source of peace for you. this is something i've observed about scorpio placements, especially venus', they're very.. understanding towards overemotional people. they can handle people's emotional outbursts, and mostly don't get consumed by it. on the contrary, a lot of the times, they quietly allow you to get your emotions and frustrations out, validate your feelings and not make you feel overdramatic, and try to talk things out calmly with you. let's say sunghoon gets into a fight with his partner; if you start getting angry and throwing things and losing your mind, he's the type to just sigh and sit there and control his own emotions silently while listening to you. he'll probably give you a little time to calm down, and once he feels you're ready to be talked to again, he'll try and talk the matter out in a more rational manner. very emotionally mature and compassionate energy in him. (interesting since i remember in my collective enha ideal type reading, he seemed to struggle with this. he seems to have grown a lot)

- sunghoon can be very hot or cold. it's like once he's with you, everything's great and a fairytale and you feel amazing, but once he's away, it's easy to feel like he forgot about you. he's very busy, so it can be a common occurrence for him to forget replying to you, not talk to you for days, make you feel left alone, because his love can be quite addicting. it's easy to feel dependent on scorpio venus', because they literally make you feel like life without them would be awful. even if you confronted him about this, he could get discontent with you giving him such a hard time about something he can't help. sunghoon draws a clear line between his personal and professional life, which he wants his partners to respect.

i do not see him cheating or doing anything wild, he's extremely loyal. he will not look at any other woman if he's a taken man. however, sunghoon still wants freedom, he doesn't enjoy feeling like you suffocate him while he's working (like spamming him with calls and texts because he isn't answering while busy, that'd frustrate him) yet at the same time he got you to the point of naturally clinging to him. “you made me be like this!” is what i can imagine his partner accusing him of. it can just get draining to deal with someone, who has such contrasting values when it comes to love, and his own ego and career.

[theyluvangel]

Biggest Subs in the Groups I Stan - enha, skz, SVT, bts, shinEE, nct, atz, txt, p1h

This is literally which member(s) of these groups I think would be the most submissive in bed!

warnings: probably grammatical and spelling errors, femdom themes, female reader

MDNI

Enhypen:

Sunoo:

biggest pillow prince there is

he just wants you to take over and do with him as you please

he's sensitive so you have to be gentle with him :(

loves praise

loves taking anything up his ass - that being your strap, fingers, a vibrator, or anything else you can think of

Jungwon:

some people disagree, but have y'all seen this man???

he wants you to take complete control over him - tell him what to do and he'll do it

he can be really bratty, but he's usually your good boy

likes some light pet play, nothing too extreme

please finger this man, he adores how close he feels to you when you finger his ass

if he's had a particularly rough day, or if he's just in the mood, he'll let you rough him up a bit - hit him, degrade him, ect.

Stray Kids:

Han:

he's a mommy's boy

lets you do anything you want to him

super loud, he has no shame

loves a bit of pain

horny all the damn time, its up to you to figure out how you want to deal with that

definitely has a bratty side, but he tries can be good

so cuddly

Felix:

the sunshine twins - two big bottoms

he's just so soft and fluffy if you know what I mean

he cry's usually from pleasure all the time, when he gets so overwhelmed he can't not cry

not at all afraid to try new things

slap him around a bit, jerk him off in public, sometimes he just wants to feel like a toy to you

but also please be nice to him, sometimes he also just needs to have some nice lazy cuddle sex

Seventeen:

Mingyu:

"wdym this over 6 foot tall extremely buff man is a big sub?" well let me tell you

he is there to do whatever makes you happy, and he can't do that if you're not telling him what to do

sososo whiny

loves being overstimulated

again i'll bring up the clip of woozi saying Mingyu likes to be degraded and embarrassed by his members

Tie.Him.Up

loves when you degrade him, but also gets so cute and shy when you praise him

loves seeing the marks you leave on him

I'm not going to specifically write out the rest but I think Dino, Seokmin, Seungkwan, Jun, and Hoshi are all switches that would love to be submissive under you

BTS:

Jimin:

jimin gives of switch with a sub-lean vibes

he's a mommy's boy as well

can be really bratty but he can also be really good

loves restraints, impact play, really anything that will leave a mark

loves trying new things

he's just a really kinky guy

also super loud

could suck a titty all day

ShinEE:

Taemin:

anyone who has heard his music knows how submissive he is

he has a lovely song called "Criminal", where one of the lyrics is "destroy me more"

this man is a performer, the energy he presents on stage he'll present to you in the bedroom

loves pain play - hit him, scratch him, bite him, literally beat him and he will thank you for it afterwards

loves when you're able to bring him to tears

big masochist, exhabitionist, and voyuer

NCT:

theres several bottoms in this group so the formatting is gonna be a bit different

NCT 127:

Taeyong - mommy's boy

Haechan - brat

Jungwoo - tries to be good

NCT Dream:

Renjun - pillow prince

Jaemin - golden retriever

WayV:

Ten - brat + hella kinky

winwin - good boy, so soft for you

Xiaojun, Hendery, and Yangyang are all switches in my mind

Ateez:

Wooyoung:

holy shit, this man is the brattiest being to ever walk the planet

he loves riling you up so you'll be rough with him

at this point he's just about admitted to having a degrading kink

he's literally such a bratty whore

he NEEDS you to punish him

sometimes he can be good and he'll want you to be gentle with him, but that's rare

literally imagine bending him over your knee and spanking him for being a brat all day (I'm feral for this man)

+ I think both San and Mingi are switches that can be super submissive

TXT:

Soobin:

i think he's naturally a shy+nerdy guy, so he's attracted to people that can take control over him

a bit more of a switch lean

i think he'd really be into having you humiliate him, but he also loves praise

I think he's a bit of a perv, he'd steal your underwear and jerk off into your panties

Beomgyu:

he might be just as bratty as Wooyoung

is always a brat, its hard to get a moment of peace

super kinky and always in to trying new things

He likes to feel so weak underneath you, if you can make him cry and get his legs shaking - you've officially made him want to marry you

he knows he's a brat, so he needs someone to tame him

he'll take anything you give him, even if that means not letting him cum for a week

omg he'd look so pretty with tears running down his face, hair stuck to his forehead, all whilst you edge him until he loses touch with reality

Kai:

he's such a good boy

i feel like he's kinda inexperienced so he'd naturally fall into a more submissive position

he's really vanilla, all he wants is to cum and be praised

if you're mean to him in the slightest he might cry

he doesn't mind edging and overstimulation, but its a rarer for those to occur

+ I think Yeonjun and Taehyun are both switches, but they aren't the most submissive in the group

P1harmony:

(honestly everyone in p1h gives off some sort of subby vibes)

Intak:

he's so puppy coded

he's there to serve and please you

he loves when you praise him and call him your "good puppy"

he will act out occasionally, but he feels bad afterwards and always accepts his punishment

he'll absolutely do anything you want him to

Theo:

he seems to me like a bratty pillow prince

he will talk back

enjoys a healthy amount of both praise and degradation

he kinda acts like a princess in the sense that if he gets too dirty or sweaty, he'll complain until you clean him up

lets out the most beautiful moans

bondage is a must for him

writing this took me a lil bit but I hope you all enjoy! if you couldn't tell I prefer to write from a dom!reader perspective, but I'll write both dom and sub reader. please send me requests because the writers block is crazy rn!

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

miles kane, swg3 glasgow 01/02/2024

oh my god oh my GOD i don't even know where to start. last night was hands down not just one of the best gigs of my life, but one of the best nights of my life full stop. it's twenty four hours later and my heart just feels so full and i still can't stop smiling with pure happiness 🥹 i've been to a LOT of gigs over the years, and a lot of those have been really amazing gigs too - but this one. wow. there was truly just something so special about this one that i know i'll carry with me for a long time to come 💗

i feel like i could ramble endlessly about all the things that made it so incredible (i.e. literally everything), so to try and avoid writing an actual essay, here are a few bullet points of my favourite things:

being right in the front row was AMAZING for obvious reasons, but also because of the number of times miles made eye contact with me and smiled at me as he was singing 😭 (naturally any time this happened i smiled back like a total idiot and forgot all the words) me and the lovely human i was there with were the only ones at the barrier who were really getting into it at the start, and i got the sense he loved seeing how much we were loving being there 💗

miles just has the most incredible energy ✨ that's absolutely something you pick up from listening to his music, watching interview etc - but it's quite something else to experience in person. the moment he walks into a room he just gives off such good vibes and such warmth. there's such a sense of groundedness to him as well as all the amazing passion, and also idk. i feel like in person you can really feel the sensitivity and vulnerability that's so present in his music too. he truly lights up a room and just has such a knack for holding everyone captive 💫

getting to witness miles being overwhelmed and unable to stop smiling at how enthusiastic the crowd was truly wonderful 🥹 you could just *feel* how much it all meant to him, and watching him get all the love and appreciation he deserves was just magic 💖

at the end, he came down into the crowd towards me and was making direct eye contact and then he FUCKING SPOKE TO ME??????? 😭 i was too dazed to actually take in what he was saying (i'm pretty sure it was something along the lines of "i like your necklace" but honestly who knows lol), and it was very brief because naturally i wasn't the only person in the crowd he was saying hi to, but fucking HELL. i was totally, totally unprepared 😭 i then had the privilege of a sweaty miles kane leaning over me to high five the people behind me, and i held his hand and - yeah. it was all so truly surreal that i might think i'd imagined it if it wasn't for the fact i can literally see the moment in this video 😭

i was there with @perfectly-clear-from-here and we were both just utterly ECSTATIC after the show, it was amazing getting to share the sheer giddy joy of all that with one of the loveliest humans i know 💜

and then of course (as if all of that wasn't already enough to make it the most wonderful night), we MET MILES after the show 😭😭 i've already rambled about that here so i won't do it again, but - yeah. let's just say he truly is the most wonderful person with the loveliest energy, and he is so easy to be around 🥹

the last six months or so have not been easy ones for me, and this felt like the most wonderful break in the clouds that just - idk. really restored me to myself. it was so special to get to experience live so many of the amazing songs that have got me through and been such a comfort in the difficult times, and i am just so endlessly grateful to miles for his courage in creating and sharing all that he shares 💗

**please do not repost my photos without permission**

[moonlightdreamzz]

New Beginnings Amid Uncertainty ✰ A Reading on GOT7’s Comeback

Disclaimer ✰ Tarot readings are for entertainment and insight, not definitive predictions. When reading about public figures or celebrities, remember that these insights are based on energy and perception, not facts. Always take it with a pinch of fun and curiosity!

How do the members feels about their upcoming comeback?

Ace of Pentacles + The Moon, 9 of Swords, The Fool, 6 of Pentacles, and 10 of Swords.

If I’m being honest, I was surprised by this pull at first because GOT7 has such a strong fan base, and I don’t doubt their comeback will be successful. However, for the members, while they see this as a golden opportunity and a chance for a prosperous new beginning, there’s also a lot of fear.

Something about this comeback—whether it’s the music itself or the circumstances surrounding it—feels like a HUGE risk. I don’t think they regret taking it, though. It feels worth it, and they wouldn’t have done it any other way. Still, the nervousness is clear. The Moon suggests uncertainty and confusion, as if things aren’t fully clear yet regarding how this comeback will be received.

To me, this means that GOT7 knows their comeback has the potential to be successful, but they’re unsure if it will play out the way they hope.

I also feel—especially with the 6 of Pentacles—that this comeback isn’t about money for them. It feels like a gift to their fans, coming from a place of pure love. I wouldn’t be surprised if they funded much of this themselves. That energy is strong here, and it seems like another reason they’re feeling anxious. They’ve put so much heart into this, and they’re overthinking how fans will respond.

This really feels like a passion project, and being in their energy is so sweet. It reminds me of the feeling you get when you’ve spent so much time and effort picking the perfect gift for someone. You know how much thought and care you’ve put into it, but there’s still that little voice asking: What if they don’t like it? What if you misinterpreted what they wanted?

Will their comeback be successful?

100%. We will see how it plays out, but I think this comeback will be a love song? King of Cups energy makes me feel like a lot of romantic vibes will be all over the single and the album. The King of Cups can also indicate a specific member having a lot of input into the lyrics? I know Yugyeom is a Scorpio, so maybe it’s him? He also could be someone who catches a lot of positive attention during this comeback. I think they put their all into this creative wise, and I think the success of this comeback is going to light a fire in their ass to do another one.

The Two of Pentacles being present tells me that there may be a lot to balance with it? Maybe some members will be juggling multiple schedules at once? Or the schedules themselves may get a bit overwhelming at times, but with Temperance being here I’m confident everything will be okay. They’ll figure out their balance and I also think this comeback is going to make all of them shine in their own unique way.

The Ace of Swords brings clarity, breakthrough, and success through focused effort. It suggests that the group has a clear vision for this comeback and that their hard work and determination will pay off.

The 3 of Cups being the overall energy, tells me that while their comeback won’t be everybodies cup of tea per say, the people they made it for (their fans) are going to enjoy every bit of it, and they’re gonna be right there with them. I really feel heavily in my spirit that this is a gift to their fans and to themselves. I feel a sense of pride and closeness between the members. I literally can see them and their fans just having their own party in the corner that not everybody understands, but they understand, and that is the whole reason for the comeback period.

They are not gonna care about what any hating ass person has to say. They just want their fans to love it as much as they do.

[merwgue]

Okay, but can we talk about how Nesta is so autistic-coded and the Inner Circle is just... completely missing the memo? COMMING FROM AN AUTISTIC PERSON🥳

Look, I’m not saying Sarah J. Maas intended to write Nesta as autistic, but come on. You’ve got a character who struggles with social interactions, needs her own space to recharge, has intense, specific interests (ahem, reading), and who’s constantly being misunderstood by the people around her. If that doesn’t scream autistic-coded, I don’t know what does.

1. Social Interactions? Nope.

Nesta’s social skills (or lack thereof) are a big flag. She’s always being criticized for not fitting in, not behaving “the right way,” or not being all warm and fuzzy with everyone. Sound familiar? People on the autism spectrum often get labeled as “cold” or “aloof” when in reality, they just don’t vibe with the social expectations around them. And what do the Inner Circle do? They constantly expect her to be like them instead of trying to understand her on her terms.

Feyre’s over here like, “Nesta, why are you so difficult?” And Nesta’s probably thinking, “I literally just need some space from all you over-hugging, over-talking, too-much-energy people.” But instead of giving her the tools to communicate or cope better, they just drag her to a cabin in the woods. Sure, lock her up. That'll definitely fix everything.

2. Sensory Overload, Anyone?

Nesta’s reactions to stress and overstimulation are spot-on. The whole time she’s in the Night Court, it’s just noise, noise, noise. Between Feyre’s incessant meddling, Cassian’s loud warrior energy, and Rhysand being... well, Rhysand, it’s like Nesta’s surrounded by sensory overload. So what does she do? She shuts down. Classic move when the world is too much.

But does anyone ask, “Hey, maybe this isn't about her being rude, maybe she’s just overwhelmed?” Nope. Instead, it’s more like, “Nesta’s broken, let’s force her to train and socialize until she magically becomes like us!” Not how it works, guys. Not at all.

3. Obsessions Aren’t Just a “Phase”

Nesta’s love of reading could be seen as a deep special interest, which is a common autistic trait. And yet, what does the Inner Circle do? They act like it’s some sort of escape or avoidance mechanism rather than a source of comfort and grounding for her. Of course she’s going to retreat into books! They make sense, they don’t demand anything from her, and they’re not trying to change her every two seconds.

4. Bluntness? It’s Called Honesty.

Nesta’s “rudeness” is really just brutal honesty. She doesn’t sugarcoat things. And why should she? In her mind, it’s more logical to say things as they are. But the Inner Circle constantly misinterprets this as hostility or coldness. Why? Because they’re all about emotional theatrics, and they just don’t get someone who communicates in a more direct, matter-of-fact way.

5. Let’s Talk About the Whole “Locking Her Up” Thing

So, Rhysand’s big idea for dealing with Nesta is basically to isolate her in a house she doesn’t want to be in and force her to follow his "recovery" plan. Yeah, because forcing someone who is already struggling to conform to your idea of healing works so well. The whole thing feels like they’re punishing Nesta for not fitting their mold. It’s like, “Nesta, you’re not behaving the way we want you to, so we’re going to fix you.” Cue the eye roll.

What They Should’ve Done Instead:

Instead of forcing Nesta to be like them, maybe — just maybe — the Inner Circle should’ve, oh I don’t know, accepted her for who she is? Maybe they could’ve recognized that she doesn’t process the world the same way and that’s okay. Give her the space she needs, stop trying to mold her into their version of “normal,” and for the love of everything, stop treating her like she’s broken just because she’s different.

Maybe Nesta just needs some sensory breaks, a quiet space, and people who actually listen to what she needs. Instead, she gets dragged through the mud, labeled as a problem, and forced into a version of recovery that only works for everyone else.

So yeah, the Inner Circle missed the memo — and that memo was: Nesta’s not the problem; their complete lack of understanding is.

Ty @fenrysmoonbeamswife for the idea!!! I loved your posts pookster

[mdhwrites]

Zenless Uses Mechanical Pacing/Styling Like Red Dead 2 Used Animation Speed

I think something a lot of people agree with about ZZZ is that it feels cozy. That it feels like a place you'd want to hang out at. That you want to try hitting up Godfinger, or get to watch Mr. Chop at work first hand too, etc. like that. I would argue this is far and away more true than even with a lot of other gacha games... But why? Nothing ZZZ does is revolutionary after all so what allows it to cultivate this vibe?

It is in the pacing of everything. The fact that when you spend too much time grinding for materials, it kicks you out so your MC can take a nap. How a cutscene plays when you get coffee or a bowl of noodles. How instead of just going to a menu to access this stuff like with HSR's assignments, you have to go back to your own video store, talk to your Bangboo and assign them not to nebulous tasks but to making sure your business gets promoted. There is a flavor and texture to these things that is actually built of inconvenience that makes it not quite feel like real life but how one imagines real life in an anime world would be like. More fun, vibrant and exciting but you still do have to wait for your coffee to finish getting made.

Red Dead Redemption 2 is famous for doing something similar to this with its animations. So as to immerse you in its vibe, it makes everything take FOREVER. Not literally be the amount it would take in real life but evocative of that work. However, friction there adds weight to all of your actions. Adds to understanding the labors of Arthur Morgan. It is not meant to be cozy but at best cathartic, at worst like a proper day's work. That doesn't quite line up with ZZZ's goals, does it?

That's where the small touches come into play. You stay up all night gaming at the arcade? Hey, they have complimentary breakfast and free rooms for you to crash in. Your noodles aren't done in a regular manor but by an over the top demon man with mechanical arms. Even more purely mechanical, more numbers intensive things like crunching down equipment and making new ones is done in a music parlor where you listen to records on vinyl. What it evokes the most with all of this is the Gathering Hubs of Monster Hunter. The grand orchestration of the cat chefs, the endless line of metal and work at the blacksmith, etc. like that. None of it seems like work, at least in Monster Hunter World, but people doing it for the love of the craft and like we're all here for sport and entertainment, not because it's actually much of a hassle. This is why I know people, and I will often do it too, who still to this day watch the cooking animation for every meal in Monhun and I actually make sure to do it in ZZZ too to help make sure I still connect with this vibe.

BUT.

This is not a perfect goal. Not by any means. Part of how they have attempted to achieve this is through the pacing of mechanics. Everything needs a proper introduction that's metered out so as to avoid the game EVER feeling overwhelming. It also needs to be introduced with its own place in the world so if a place is locked off to a different area... Good luck. They did break this with the HIA Club but ONLY it and if they hadn't, it would have been another five hours, when it already takes a long time, to get to being allowed to use your energy in any way because of where it's located in the world. It also knows it can't introduce the grind up front which is why instead of getting to spend energy, the game's first activities on Sixth Street are eating noodles and playing Snake Eater with Billy at Godfinger. It's introducing mechanics but it's prioritizing vibe over mechanical usefulness. It is a mixed blessing because it's trying to get you invested first like it should but it's struggling to know how to pace that.

I think this is part of why there are so many level gates in 1.0's content. You have to get to level THIRTY. SIX. to clear the main story. That's over half the account levels in the entire game. However, if they didn't slow you down, you'd never engage with the small side quests on the streets, or in the Hollows, that will help endear you to the setting and help solidify its tone before you're done with the main content. More charitably, it also tries to imply that ZZZ is a more chill experience. That it's not trying to rush you. Too bad that I kind of need to get to Proxy level 50 so I can max out my character levels and have any chance of clearing like ANY of the limited time Shiyu Defense content they've put out currently so that pressure is still being applied in places that are just copy and pasted from other Hoyo games.

It is messy and unique, like so much of ZZZ. I don't really say any of this as either praise or condemnation but just to dissect it. To see how it works because flourishes like these matter. Even in regular books, with no mechanics, the sort of strength of language, the shade of purple of the prose and what the story focuses on can cause different vibes. A soft, low stakes romance is probably going to spend a decent amount of time just with our two leads being in pleasant situations and not even panicking. A more whirlwind romance might make everything really intense to try and sell the emotion its going for. Meanwhile, something that's meant to be dramatic and teases to potentially end in tragedy will tinge most scenes with a small bit of intrigue and try to make sure the audience never really gets to sit entirely at ease, not until the calm before the storm that brings it all crashing down.

These are tools in your toolbox and your audience will like them or not. For me, I find them to be a mixed bag. Something I loved when there was a lot to do and now something that makes the time between patches feel more straining on my patience with the game. What are your thoughts though? Do you find ZZZ cozy or does the pacing frustrate you? And as always, see you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[verdemoun]

If it hasn’t been mentioned before how did Sadie die in the canon timeline before getting timewarped and how was Jake found? I think they are super interesting considering how they weren’t even married for 3 years yet before the events of the first mission (they were married in September and the game starts in May) Also another random question but did any of the gang bond over the different instruments they played (ex Sadie-Harmonica, Pearson-Accordion, or Javier-Guitar) and speaking of Javier did he ever learn electric guitar? [Sorry if my bombarding you with questions is annoying or overwhelming I’m just very hyper fixated on Rdr2 and love this au <3 /lh/pos]

pls never apologise i love asks my inbox is officially empty again rip so to all pls feel free to send any more questions about timewarp or my general rdr2 addled brain.

Sadie makes me so sad esp in the epilogue she literally makes the comment i wanna die like she is such an incredible character but she is so defeated by losing her husband, and then finding the gang only to lose them as well. After Micah's death she didn't even have revenge to live for. Also being at John and Abigail's wedding? As beautiful as the day was and as happy as she was for them, being reminded of her own wedding, everything she lost, how much she loved her husband. I think that the passive suicidality/recklessness she was putting into bounty hunting would've caught up with her really quickly and she was shot and killed by some unknown outlaw she was trying to bring in no later than 1908.

Jake bless was very much not someone anyone thought to look for fortunately with living with Sadie in such an isolated area he's a proper survivalist and just lived camping on public land doing odd jobs like farm work where he could to earn some cash for basic necessities and was just rolling with it. He's very laid back go with the flow type guy who was not nearly as panicked about waking up in modern era as he should have been.

It's completely stupid how they ran into Jake Adler. The gang were in public talking too loud about 1899 and he casually walked up to them like oh hi were you guys also magically teleported 100 years into the future after dying??

Kieran was terrified of Jake and expected some sort of retribution for being an O'Driscoll like literally shuffling to hide behind other members of the gang terrified but they actually ended up being besties because Jake knows loads about gardening and homesteading and they got to bond over 'fuck Colm O'Driscoll' and just being gentle souls they vibe so well.

Gets a new cabin away from everything and starts rebuilding his homesteading life so everything is perfect for when Sadie comes back.

It's so obvious how Jake and Sadie's dynamic worked the second they met Jake Adler. He is the sweetest, most disgustingly soft man to ever exist. He has bi wife energy. If he had survived instead of Sadie, he would not have made it in the gang. He gets emotional over the idea of using pesticides to keep bugs off his tomatoes. He is malewife extraordinaire and cries at least once a week about missing his wife who he is nauseatingly in love with.

He went with them to get Sadie obviously and the gang were a little nervous how he would respond to bounty hunter more ghost than people living weapon that is the Sadie Adler they knew? Plus this is post Micah's death so they heard ALL about that as well. Sadie Adler is terrifying. How could such a delicate marshmallow man handle it?

It is immediately very obvious that that's just Sadie's personality. It is exaggerated but very much just how she's always been she could say the most threatening violent comment with the coldest scowl and Jake's just there like wow that's my wife isn't she amazing <3 <3 <3

He is not at all surprised she became a bounty hunter and murderer she was always capable of it he just asked her nicely not to kill people so she didn't but she was always that one thing away from becoming the woman we know and love. Also how quickly Sadie goes from cold scowl to smiling affectionately kissing her husband like he is her squishy soft rock.

Also Sadie is very much bisexual being in a relationship with a man does not erase that Jake has always known and is very supportive every night he gives thanks to the women who fumbled Sadie Adler so he could marry her. Gender roles are not welcome in their relationship hell gender as a concept doesn't belong in their relationship they both wear skirts on hot days and Jake wears lipstick more often than Sadie does. Sadie pegs.

She met him at the stables he was working at, picked him up like a stray cat and said we're married now. She proposed to him and he cried. Finding someone who complimented her in every way was a once in a million and she never moved on from that. He enjoys the domestic chores she loathes, never questions or raises an eyebrow at her wearing pants or wielding a gun. Both of them happy to move into the middle of no where because neither one of them wanted their dynamic being scrutinized like they are happy being in their own world regardless of era.

The gang are still in awe of how well they balance each other out. There was divine intervention in them being so perfectly made for each other let alone finding each other in canon era it's so much clearer how they seemed so lost and distraught being apart. Why Sadie was still mourning and talking about Jake in 1907 when she had lost him for longer than she'd known him at that point. Two people could not be more perfect for each other.

SECOND POINT

Sadie starts playing harmonica again now that she has her Jakey back. And Jake, who in a similar way stopped playing when he didn't have his Sadie his amore, gets another violin (this is a hc that I will die defending let him play fiddle while Sadie's on harmonica little homesteading country music losers). Charles also plays harmonica and it is very 'same hat!!' when they realize. Teach each other songs too.

Javier plays around with electric guitar but is an acoustic purist, but because Isaac plays electric guitar they have great little jam sessions together. Javier loves having someone who asks questions and wants to learn guitar like Isaac is pretty good by the time 1911 gang arrive but he is so happy to also have someone who likes guitar as much as he does and he can learn from. Rip Isaac's friends trying to keep up 'hey you up for crime this afternoon' 'no sorry i'm going to go play guitar with my stoner mexican uncle. his autistic boyfriend who is also a stoner is making soda bread!'

Uncle gets a banjo again and also a ukulele because he thinks they look goofy.

Also Sean plays jaw harp? Fun character fact. Lenny also forgets this fact and can be found walking around the house looking for whatever bug is making that weird buzzing noise and turns out Sean couldn't sleep and was just boinging along with his jaw harp.

Gang bonfire nights go wild on the jam sessions. Little southern orchestra with the banjo, two harmonicas, a fiddle, a jaw harp and guitars all going.

[mywitchyblog]

Should I go to Etsy ?

Alright, here’s the real tea. Should I go full Etsy witch and set up shop for my tarot readings? Or am I better off keeping things as they are—intimate, personal, and powered by vibes (and, let’s be real, y’all’s support)? I need your opinions, because this decision is giving “Mercury retrograde indecisiveness.”

So here’s the situation. I’ve been offering tarot readings for a while now. If you’ve booked with me, you know the deal: my spreads are designed for shifters, seekers, and anyone trying to untangle their life (or their journey to a Desired Reality). My readings aren’t fluff—they’re honest, intuitive, and grounded in connection. Right now, you choose a spread, donate through my Ko-Fi, and I channel your energy into a reading that actually resonates.

It’s a system that works. But... would it work better on Etsy? That’s the question.

The Etsy Allure

I mean, let’s be real. Etsy is the place people go when they’re looking for metaphysical services. It’s already packed with folks shopping for tarot readings, shifting tools, and everything spiritual. Having a shop there could bring me more visibility—no more relying on reblogs, word of mouth, or people randomly stumbling onto my Tumblr posts. Instead, I��d be right there in the marketplace, where people are already in the mindset to buy what I’m offering.

And then there’s the professionalism factor. Etsy has a certain polish to it. A storefront there might make my readings feel more “official,” like I’m running a legit business instead of just vibing in my little internet corner. That could attract new clients who might not have trusted a DM-based operation. Plus, Etsy’s tools—automated receipts, order tracking, reviews—are kind of appealing. They’d streamline things and save me some mental bandwidth.

But here’s the thing: it costs $14 to even open an Etsy shop. Fourteen bucks. That might not sound like a lot, but for me, a broke college student whose financial situation is as real as Bigfoot sightings, it’s a hurdle. I literally don’t have that right now. If I want to make this leap, I’d need to sell a reading just to afford the entry fee. Like... anyone want to sponsor my little tarot empire? Buy a reading and help me get this shop off the ground?

The Not-So-Glamorous Side of Etsy

Of course, it’s not all sunshine and crystals. Etsy takes a lot of fees. There’s a listing fee for every service you post, transaction fees for every sale, and advertising fees if you want to promote your shop. Those costs add up, and they could eat into the already small profits I’m making.

And then there’s the energy of it all. I love that my current system feels personal. When you book a reading, it’s a one-on-one connection. I get to learn about your journey, your struggles, and your hopes. It’s intimate. Would Etsy keep that vibe intact, or would it make things feel... transactional? Like, would it still feel magical, or would it start feeling like I’m just running another side hustle in the gig economy?

Also, let’s not ignore the fact that Etsy has a lot of gimmicky energy in its metaphysical section. For every genuine reader, there’s someone selling $5 “instant soulmate spells” or “manifest money overnight” nonsense. Do I really want to throw myself into a pool with that energy? Would it cheapen my work to be associated with that kind of marketplace?

Practical Concerns

The other big question is: would I even want the potential flood of clients Etsy could bring? Tarot readings take time, focus, and energy. They’re not something I can rush. If the Etsy algorithm decides to favor me (unlikely, but let’s dream big), would I get overwhelmed? Would I burn out trying to keep up with demand? I’m already balancing college, life, and this side hustle. Would scaling up make me miserable? Because if there’s one thing I know, it’s that I’m not willing to compromise the quality of my readings just to churn out more orders.

Where Do You Come In?

This is where I need you—my community, my people. You’ve supported me so far, trusted me with your energy, and helped me grow into the reader I am today. So I’m asking: what do you think? Is Etsy the right move? Would it help me reach more people who need my work, or would it just complicate things? Have you ever bought a tarot reading on Etsy? Did it feel magical, or did it feel like you were just adding something to your cart?

And if you’re a reader yourself, spill the tea. Do you have an Etsy shop? Is it worth it, or do you regret it? What’s the reality of running a spiritual business on that platform?

Oh, and one last thing: if you do think I should open an Etsy shop but feel like I’m being held back by that $14 fee (spoiler: I am), here’s your chance to make it happen. If even one of you books a reading with me, I could use that money to finally set up my shop. So, if you’ve been on the fence about getting a reading, now’s the perfect time. Not only will you get some cosmic guidance, but you’ll also be helping me take this next big step. Win-win, right?

Anyway, let me know your thoughts. I’m all ears, and I really do value your input. Should I take the Etsy leap, or am I better off keeping things right here, cozy and low-key? Let’s chat.

[suusoh]

quick check in for our dear author susu!😁 you may or may not answer this ask, im just curious ab sth after i saw your vents. i hope reflecting on these questions can make you feel better though!😃

are you, by any chance, pressured by the attention your works are having? did you not expect that a lot of people will like your craft? do you actually prefer having fewer audiences? i feel quite sad that this toxic world of internet where audiences just look at creators as machines to produce and produce has seemingly taking a toll at you and i sincerely hope you feel better ab it soon and eventually rekindle your love for writing.

love,

your reader

you're very kind anon :-)) thank you for sending me an ask. I hope you're doing good as well?

I've think I've explained things better on my other blog but I'll try my best to answer your questions here as well <3.

(any bitterness or snippiness picked up in this answer is not aimed at you anon!!! you are very very precious and kind. susu is just talking out of frustration.)

Not pressured, maybe overwhelmed and shy at times, but not pressured, no. If i don't like a request I literally don't entertain it at all and will just answer it shortly. If i don't feel it then i just don't.

to be fair I didn't even expect an audience in the first place. I was literally jsut writing because I felt like i was going to explode (or implode?) if i don't get my ideas outside of me. It felt like i ended up just talking to myself with fic dialogue, or staring mindlessly in my room while i just watch scenarios in my head. So i thought, heh, why not make it into a fic. no harm done.

If anything anon, I was quite expecting for myself to be.. uh... niche? I guess my expectations started out wonky because prior to monster, I came from very large fandoms. So as an x reader, as a yandere x reader, and as a yandere x reader who warped johan into her own personal characterization with near zero-canon basis at all just to get her rocks off at that too, I figured I'd just be writing for only a certain amount of people who choose to seek me out.

not sure about the fewer audiences thing, I don't quite care for numbers. But i guess what I preferred isn't "less followers" per se, but I think i would've preferred the energy and the synergy of interactions back then when it was only quite a good number of people. felt intimate. Like can you believe I got more comments when there were less people on here, compared to with more people on here... people are more quiet now?

quiet- in the sense of showing appreciation and enjoyment of the writing of course. the amount of people in the ask box..... is another different thing. my ask box is definitely not quiet.

to be fair anon, I don't think they're doing it intentionally. I guess with how niche monster is and how there were only so few of us here writing johan x reader content, people of course asked for more.

but now i guess i do feel a bit... tired and listless now. Because it felt like i've already achieved my goal of seeing what I want to read. If anything, i think i've written so much content of what i want to see that I've even made myself sick lol.

so now it feels like im at the point where i don't have the same drive as I used to before. there's no personal goal keeping me going, and the people who inspire me to keep on writing are very few and far between (aside from friends of course), compared to those who just wish i'd keep writing so they'd get their daily dose of johan copping a feel up or something. idk.

truth be told. what makes me feel tired is that not only did i grow to loathe my old johan writing and concepts, but it's exactly those concepts that people are drawn to, and keep asking for everyday. which makes me somehow loathe what i've written even more.

And honestly, look i can't blame them. When I wrote those, i was vibrating and i wrote it with so much love and energy at the time, and i'm sure the vibes they still translate into those posts.

but it just feels so so so confusing and honestly... emptying to me that that's all people who come here care about, that's all they ever ask for, and in some weird ironic laughable twist, they don't even show any appreciation for it.

and like shit, im not even sure if appreciation is the right word to use. I'm not asking for praise or anything. but literally just... talk? talk to me? talk about your thoughts on it?

and NO. talking about your thoughts on it is different from downright just sending in something with no explaination. just some blank prompt that you think I'll pick up, go insane over, gush over, and spit out 4 paragraphs worth of whatever you sent in.

and again yes, the glaring answer is "just ignore those asks then lol. pay attention to nice asks instead.

but then again, it's just tiring that the only story comments i ever seem to get nowadays are just those asks. i'm talking about the majority.

and before anyone says i'm too negative or too sensitive for focusing on the bad instead of the good: I do pay attention to nice comments, i hold them close and dear to my heart. made a whole freaking tag and folder just for it.

but it's just that they're so rare and few and far between compared to how much people have the time to type in another request, but can't seem to type in at least one... thank you. or... say that that what i did was... really nice.

and it i feel so confused again because people assure me over and over again that they like my writing, that lots of people like my johan writing.

but with the way i'm treated and interacted with here.... i'm starting to think that sure, maybe people do like my writing: but it only because it gives them their fill.

so whenever i go on a break or when i go post something to express my worries with my blog and i get asks or comments. i just... I have to laugh a bit at just how much of those asks feel like they're saying the same thing:

It's less of "oh no! susu is going away and needs a break." and more like "oh no! now we won't get any more johan."

[donnerpartyofone]

I'm on your Tumblr because we used to be mutuals, but I'm more of a lurker these days and I've remade several times under different handles and understand exasperation/hesitation at refollowing. I'm sincerely not trying to bait anything here, it's just that I've been depressed for the majority of 2024, and I think a really bad habit I've fallen into is not expressing gratitude to those who have a genuine impact on me. I'm sorry if this is uncanny and too parasocial. I have always admired how incredibly self-possessed and well-spoken/read/watched/cultured you are. I get an older sibling vibe from you that I never had growing up. You are one of the smarter people in the room for me. Sorry I'm sending this on anon, you don't have to publish it, in fact I hope you don't! I think you're one of the best blogs on this site and many things you have posted/blogged about have caused me to dig deeper within myself. In recent times, I appreciate that you force a situationally depressed individual (me) to challenge themselves for the better, if that makes sense. I'm sorry if this is disturbing!

[posted with permission] Man I have not been able to wake up all day for some reason and I owe some writing tomorrow, so this is actually a really helpful warmup exercise to try to get myself moving/thinking. I really appreciate this. I think your idea about expressing gratitude is really important and it's something I've been trying to do also, though maybe in a broader sense, like if I see a really inspiring movie (or whatever) I try to follow the impulse to write to the filmmaker and tell them. In my mind there's this invisible wall between creators and "fans" and that's usually fake; it's very likely that the people who made some of your favorite media are not rich, their futures are not secure, and they don't even necessarily know how their work has affected people. Worst case scenario they don't write you back, but only a snob would be actually bothered, and sometimes you even make a friend. I think the same principle can be applied to, you know, bloggers or whoever. Certainly I run this blog for myself first and foremost and I don't think I would or could stop even if absolutely no one was paying attention--it's a real compulsion and I think it's reasonably healthy to find ways to be in conversation with yourself--but it's valuable to know when you've been understood by anyone at all.

Not to make it weird but in Hebrews I think there's that verse, "If today you hear the voice of God, harden not your heart." That's really powerful outside the bounds of religion. To me it means, when you get that shred of energy or inspiration that says "I could do the dishes right now," do them immediately before you can talk yourself out of it! When you get that little spark that is so easily snuffed out by overthinking and taking that dangerous minute to round up excuses, that spark that you might be able to do the laundry, send the letter, watch the tough movie you're "never in the mood" for, pick up the book instead of watching TV, take a fucking walk, whatever it is: if you practice surrendering to these impulses immediately, almost without deciding, your life can really start to expand. Actually I believe it literally keeps your brain alive, to keep making it process new information, even if it seems trivial or you don't fully feel like it. But anyway a lot of us don't follow the impulse to say to someone "Hey, I think you're doing a good job" because it's so easy to imagine lots of different reasons they won't like it. But honestly that's unlikely (as long as you're not demanding something in return), and if someone responds poorly to that then chances are they're kind of an asshole.

(I mean sometimes I fail to respond to a message or an obvious social cue but it's usually because I just get overwhelmed by other parts of life and/or I'm not extremely skilled in forming and maintaining connections in any normal way. But it's rare that somebody has tried to reach out to me and I was like secretly hating them for it.)

Depression is really hard to talk about--I mean it's easy to VENT about, but it can be hard to converse about. There's that (American?) thing where you feel like no one should say anything that isn't *CEO voice* solution-oriented, and that's when people either avoid the topic entirely or react with all kinds of unwelcome and/or irrational advice. I have the illusion of being all full of wisdom on this because I've been severely depressed since I was really little and obviously there's something wrong with my whole operating system, but one of my best friends--who is not naturally depressive--is in such a bad way and it's not her fault and possibly there is no way out for real, and of course I have the urge to pump her up and keep her afloat, but if I'm too positive it will be totally dishonest. I have to split the difference between cheering her up and like, not lying to her. I'd be a total hypocrite if I denied her the understanding and acknowledgement of darkness that I myself always want and rarely get. It's hard, but on the individual basis it's useful to try to map the nature of your own depression and notice how it operates; just observe and take notes even if you can't see a way to control it right now. It sounds like you're doing some of that, there is a lot of dignity in that activity.

These are my thoughts off the cuff, with any luck they provoke something useful. Now I feel like I'm finally ready to shower and have ill-advised beverages and do my stupid homework assignment. Thank you for your thoughts, and the helpful prompt, and I hope you have a good day and/or night, for real.

[ladysomething]

GOOD FUCKING LORD MADDIE WHAT

hot. that's it.

1. I'm going insane knowing that the weirdly nice way they treated each other in Charles dream world is going to hell. the softness of it had me crawling up my walls. "You’re being crazy, he thinks to himself, closing his eyes so he doesn’t have to look at Max looking at him." uhm, sir, *I'M* going crazy. I'm BEING crazy about that.

2. gotta love Charles and Max in their Bonnie and Clyde era. it was also kinda giving Harley Quinn and the Joker. and I'm here for it.

3. Charles being a little menance is deserved for him, (my man has had a rough life lately let him be) and asked by us thank you very much. the fact that he had zero to little patience is hilarious. I love it. that's mainly why I stated that he's kind of giving Harley Quinn.

4. but you know what I love even more??? JEALOUS AND POSSESIVE CHARLES. and fuck that other bitch who do he thinks he is like???? your feelings stopped being valid after you decided to be stupid like that. cry about it. next time why don't you do it to show your love then. my brother says: asshole. HA. literally. c'mon it was funny

5. I agree with Charles. Max planning everything beforehand was hot. sun-like hot. I melted. I was set in fire.

+1. HE WAS LET NEAR THE THROAT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL . whaaaaaaaaat. the moment Charles kissed Max *there* I actually started jumping and running through my living room.

+2. THE CAR SCENE?!?! EXCUSE ME!?!? let them have more sex where Charles is the "mean" one yes please. have you seen that twit that goes like "women that want to see a man moan and whimper are sick"? WELL DAMN CAUSE THAT'S MEEEEW. I guess I'm sick. LET THE MAN MOAN AND WHINE AND WHIMPER ‼️‼️‼️this might come across as confusing taking into account I'm a bottom Charles truther but y'all wouldn't get it.

+3. I love it when they match each others freaky vibes. alsooo. why delete the kiss part Charlie? WHY? that would've hurt more than the sex part. don't you see the bitch craves intimacy and love? or perhaps, you don't want other people to see your intimacy? what is it Charlie. what. is. it.

+4. I still want to see Matthew's limbs slowly being cut off his body. and I wanna see the bitch suffering more. irl he's being insufferable and here too and I'm done with him. I said what I said.

+5. brother says: every day chapter 16 now 17 gets closer I fear it more. but I fear more my anxiety of not knowing what I should be afraid of exactly. therefore I need it to be closer so I can live at peace.

thank you so much for this piece of perfect madness that I live for every wednesday. 💗

when I was writing those lines of Charles leaning into the breeding kink I was like .... go for gold Maddie. don't hold back.

I'm glad it landed well!!!

the dichotomy of how they treat each other in the dream world vs how they do in real life ...... crazy.

Max and Charles against the world is STARTING. I'm feral for it.

Charles has had it very rough, and it's nice to see him directly his angry energy to somebody that isn't Max hahaha

what goes around comes around, right?

Charles has yet to see it but his competency kink is strong. he's just like me fr

+1. I KNOOWWWWWW. I loved writing that so much!!

+2. no ok I totally get it, because it's bottom Charles but it's overwhelmed with desire Max.

+3. hahahaha they're so funny because they're like this with their kinks I swear

+4. oop. maybe ...... adjust your expectations a little there ...

+5. hahahah everyone being so scared of 17/18 has been very funny to watch but I think also that ya'll probably are thinking it's worse than it is? but maybe not, who's to say

[9800sblog]

hi! 💗 I was wondering if you could do a reading on Lewis Hamilton on his personality/true self in public vs private? thank you and love your blog 💗💗

Lewis Hamilton tarot reading

personality in public vs private

do I have his energy permission to do and share this reading? knight of pentacles

i sense some hesitancy from him, it seems he has experience with people trying to uncover secrets to ruin his reputation, so I will be as nice as I can! I only tell what the cards show me, which is what he has given permission to share.

his personality in public, in front of cameras, celebrities and bosses

knight of cups reversed, page of wands, king of swords reversed, the star, hanged man reversed, the devil

he tries to impress mostly with his body and face, but also money, like he's casually living the lavish lifestyle, he can get really superficial. he is perceived as untouchable, not only for fans, he has a confidence in himself that people aren't used to seeing in stars. he is someone that people would give up everything to have - business people, crushes and fans - he is incredibly valuable, he has great reputation and power. he likes to be seen as a man with pure intentions, someone who can create greatness out of dry land, a pure heart who inspires others to be good. when it comes to love and romance, the general opinion seems to fluctuate, some may think no one is good enough for him and others think "he doesn't want commitment, not that he is a player but he never gets married, so there must be something wrong with him", it seems he wants to get married and have kids, he just might think it's not possible for him, for some reason, maybe because of his job and his environment, he may feel a little stuck, like people say sometimes that "fame is a curse". i think he is really sensitive and delicate, so he tries to look as badass as possible so that nobody tries to fuck him up. he knows money and palpable things is power in his work so he may show off as a message for the bad people around him. his hair is definitely signature for him, body is important, to stay strong and mentally bright + the public must know he is healthy, chains, expensive wine, philanthropy/charity work/activism, he must have a thick layer, authoritative, powerful and ruthless.

how he is casually, with close friends and family

3 of cups reversed, ace of pentacles reversed, 5 of wands, 9 of swords, page of swords, the emperor reversed, the magician reversed, bottom of the deck 4 of cups (so many cards 😭)

in privacy, he doesn't feel a need to be so powerful and strong, he rests and he allows himself to accept help, he doesn't try to look strong or loud or like a star, he's just a guy. I think he really, strongly appreciates quietness, calmness and just an opportunity to rest, I think he doesn't go out much. I remember zendaya saying that her job is so demanding and crazy, that when she has time for herself, she doesn't like to travel or go to parties, she just likes to be home, watching tv and sleeping, I'm getting that same vibe for him, specially since he's a racer, his job is literally very fast and physically, mentally demanding, his life is constantly at risk, so, in privacy, he just is, he just exists. the cards are very cancer directed. he might like to study and plan for his future, I can see him listening to music quietly and just staring at nothing, thinking about everything. i think he is very patient, but also overwhelmed, so he prefer to be alone in almost complete silence, he doesn't seem to be fond of surprise visits, he would be nice and you would feel at home and comfortable, but secretely he would be wishing on your demise. I don't think he lies about who he is when he's in public, he's just an introvert acting more extroverted because he's at work, he seems to enjoy the same music and clothes and movies, it's just a more quiet version of what the public sees. I think he likes the sound of silence, birds chirping, cars passing and the faint noise of people talking. I think when he's with family, he is the type to be in a different room with the pets, but still enjoy being part of the conversation and being included; his close friends would definitely know to or text and wait for him to answer before showing up at his house, I think he ignores calls and may be the type to pretend he's not home if somebody knocks on the door. he seems quite immature in private, childish, childlike, prone to baby talk, for sure. he seems really fond of animals, probably talks to his pets and tells them secrets. I don't think he's very outdoorsy, he may love the purity of nature but as long as he can stay home, without bugs, humidity and allergies, he may like the beach or have a mountain house, idk. hobbies would include studying, analyzing, watching tv, maybe documentaries, fashion/modeling, flowers are revelant but idk why, he seems to love water, spirituality/religions is definitely something he genuinely enjoys, I looked him up and he is a catholic, I think he prays a lot in privacy, that makes sense with the previous messages. teddy bear, playful acting, dressing up and styling his hair differently, the type to get up when watching tv to imitate a scene, definitely talks during movies, really enjoys having people around and would love a big family, is however very closed off and likes to be alone most of the time. will likely have his dream life he desires when he retires and have more opportunities. also, he is definitely very emotionally attached to pop divas and sings his heart out to songs made for young girls, I did search his birth chart and it says he has a moon in cancer so he may feel particularly represented in taylor swift, mariah carey, shakira and dua lipa songs (same moon sign), he might have also been a fan of britney (same mercury sign) or katy (same rising sign) when he was younger, because I'm mostly getting songs from them. this specific song seems relevant for his current energy:

[thebardisabird]

Oh, great and Holy Barb, I request that you bestowed to us lowly folks on your blessings fic of our bois at a parade to kick off and celebrate this tremendous month of ze pride

Oh my god stop it, I'm literally three birds in a trenchcoat just tappin on a keyboard lol But YES LET'S GO! Happy Pride my loves! Be who you are, love who you are and who you want to and remember that you are safe and loved here 💗 The fellas at a pride parade (hope it's okay if it's like long headcanons), under the cut!

Osomatsu is here for a fun time! While he thought he was always so sure of his sexuality being the playful skirt chaser that he is - he came to realize that men are just as hot. So while he's not exactly dressed up for the occasion of the parade, he's definitely in the spirit. No one is safe from Osomatsu, he's gonna attempt to rizz up as many people as he possibly can. What he doesn't get that pride is about all about love! Very soon enough he ends up completely outrizzed and a shy mess the rest of the parade -especially with all the cuties in the very showy outfits!

SPEAKING OF SHOWY OUTFITS! This is it, for Karamatsu. Being the canon bisexual of the brothers, this isn't his first pride parade. He goes all out for the parade: body art, sequins, big gogo boots, and a long luxurious blue robe with an elegantly printed K on the back of it in gold. The amount of love he gets for how good he looks from so many people at pride fills him with warmth and makes him feel so seen. But it means the most when his brothers are amongst those people hyping him up all the same.

Choromatsu is proud to even just be at the parade. Considering himself pansexual, he feels the love when he sees many other pansexual people enjoying the parade just like him! Though he's very overwhelmed by all the good looking people at pride. So many sexy outfits and incredibly attractive people has this poor man in shambles. He is in the crowd, sweat pouring down his face because he is overwhelmed with all the baddies surrounding him.

Ichimatsu is here to support his brothers and ultimately, himself. Seeing so many people happy and proud of their sexuality is a reminder for him to be proud of his own. He's not as outspoken as his brothers, and the amount of people attending the parade does make him feel a tad claustrophobic...but he truly gets the vibe of self-acceptance and joy coming off the people at the parade in waves and that sparks his own pride.

Jyushimatsu, while his orientation is unknown, is having a blast! His energy is super infectious, and with the help of a collaborative effort between Karamatsu and Todomatsu, pulls off a very cute multicolored overall ensemble to show his support! You can hear him from a mile away laughing and yelling amongst the other parade-goers. But don't be fooled - Jyushimatsu knows the importance of pride, and he's very happy to be celebrating with everyone!

Ohhhhh Todomatsu - being at the pride parade is his time to be vainer than ever - but for a good reason! Decked out in pink from head to toe and shining brighter than a disco ball, Todomatsu makes it clear that he is here to stunt this pride season. However, that does not stop him from showing love to so many people at the parade - taking pictures, mingling with others, and even dancing! His philosophy for pride is celebration of the self; being proud of who you are and being loud about it! Expect him to put on his cutesy persona tenfold!

[i-luvsang]

hi moon, love your works ! are you up for moot games and if yes who would you ship your moots with ? i need to find the pattern here

hello anon dear, thank you so much !!! i'm way up for moot games eeeee !!! ty for sending one in ! i tried to get everyone but i've got a horrid memory so just tell me if i missed you so you can be added <333

enna + taehyung ⟢ @heephoria — you have to understand that you're probably the hardest for me to choose someone for because i ship you with many people tbh and like you're so lovable and i genuinely think all your faves would adore you. but it's all in the vibes here. elegant, irresitable, soft, homey, sweet, alluring, and full of the kind of love that makes your heart ache. [ honorable mention ; heeseung & joshua ]

chip + wooyoung ⟢ @jaehunnyy — the softness and playfulness in your heart is all too perfect for him. you're full of love and he admires that so much. you'd let him kiss your cheek for way too long and reciprocate that same energy and he loves it. [ honorable mention ; san ]

coco + jay ⟢ @enluv — you two are my starboy stargirl couple and nothing will ever ever change that. it's the aesthetics for me i cannot. i don't even know what you look like but i feel like i can picture the two of you together you know what i mean ?? [ honorable mention ; theo ]

anne + jongho ⟢ @ssaboala — y'all are literally perfect i cannot. he loves the way you love him, fully but not overwhelming or overbearing; just right. your more quiet or less social nature actually makes him feel more at peace around you, more comfortable. [ honorable mention ; yunho ]

bai + seonghwa ⟢ @hwaightme— i could never i imagine a more perfect match to be honest. the way you love people with your whole being is so beautiful to him. he adores your humor and the way you take the time to know the people around you for who they are and always be considerate and thoughtful of that. [ honorable mention ; hongjoong ]

sky + hongjoong @pocketjoong — he absolutely admires your ability to create community, you share that sense of leadership and the value that togetherness has. your shared sense of responsibility and awareness is also really important to him [ honorable mention ; suho ]

nadia + yunho ⟢ @justhere4kpop — i'm so bad at articulating why is feels right but it feels so right. it's all about holding hands and smiling brightly at each other. you're both always ready to take kneecaps if someone offends the other. [ honorable mention ; bang chan ]

orion + hongjoong ⟢ @nebulousbrainsoup — y'all are written in the starts, it's all about the vibes. there's the passion that you both put into everything and the protectiveness you feel for those around you. such an aesthetic couple y'all always look so cool. [ honorable mention ; mingi ]

zero + jongho ⟢ @ad0rechuu — you are just so sweet and friendly but i think that the particular way you go about making friends and interacting with people would makes jongho really like you. you're sweet but also have these more put together and aware vibes that he really likes along with your kindness. [ honorable mention ; seulgi ]

lilo + mingi ⟢ @seonghwaddict — i just feel like you would be such a sweet and wholesome couple. those recent pictures he posted from his walk at night? yeah that's lilo's boyfriend. it just feels right. i think he'd love your soft, lovely vibes. [ honorable mention ; yeosang ]

moony + joshua ⟢ @selenicives — you're aesthetics really remind me of shua !!! soft, full of browns and academia. i think he really appreciates your kindness towards others and the artistry you put into everything you create. [ honorable mention ; hongjoong ]

zerda + san ⟢ @a1sh1teruu — the softness that is you and san is too much for me to handle to be completely honest. you'd also be such a wholesome couple. i think he'd admire both your playfulness but also how hardworking you are !! [ honorable mention ; yeosang ]

mai + yunho ⟢ @gummygowon — the way that you first approached me with that super cute, sweet, and playful ask makes me think about yunho !! i can just see you two as the most sweet and playful couple who's able to cheer up just about anybody. [ honorable mention ; seonghwa ]

kimchi + taeyong ⟢ @planetkiimchi — you're just so wholesome and who better to match that energy than taeyong. just the sweetest couple to ever exist just about. you're friendly and silly in all the perfect ways for him !! [ honorable mention ; mark ]

kyuzu + renjun ⟢ @flowerjun — as a past renjun ult i am extra qualified to say that he is literally perfect for you. you're just so sweet and silly and lovely in all the ways that he loves the most !! [ honorable mention ; jungwon ]

lheo + seonghwa ⟢ @starrysvn — to me you have very caring and more mature, grounded vibes that i think seonghwa would really appreciated !! i just think you two would fit well together. [ honorable mention ; jongho ]

liz + san ⟢ @bluehwale — i don't know you too well yet liz !! but, i think the soft and friendly vibes that you carry would really suit san. just such a sweet sweet and lovely couple !! [ honorable mention ; mingi ]

kana + jungwon ⟢ @luvhyun3 — it just feels right i just think you two would have this sweet adorable wholesome puppy love. like everyone ever thinks that you two are the cutest ever and that's probably because it's the truth. [ honorable mention ; mingi ]

skye + hoshi ⟢ @etherealyoungk — i think i just associate you with him now bc of your newest profile pic bUT it feels right too. you're so so so so sweet and hoshi would be so so so so in love with you, no doubt about it. you can be silly goofy little cuties together. [ honorable mention ; seungcheol ]