#and i feel like the balance of agency through life & work & purpose & desire can get skewed in suchh a good way

[jovial-gender-jester]

if there's anything i care about more than magical girls, it's magical women

[uneducatorsalliance]

Death by Capitalism: The Alienated Life of Troy Maxson

Erik Meier, on “Fences” by August Wilson

FULL TEXT OF FENCES 

WORK CITED

     In “Fences”, August Wilson illustrates the life and times of Troy Maxson in the stories and experiences he references in his children’s upbringing. They include oppression, abuse, corruption and abandonment from his caretakers and society. Marxist Theory outlines the structure of capitalist society which operates on the foundation of mode of production. This structure highlights the social ideology that manipulates and displaces Troy from his labor, his children and himself. Troy’s experiences become the foundation for the morals and lessons he misconstrues and elicits in his children. His false providence blinds him to the emotional, physical and monetary labors and debts cast on his father’s generation, by society, and cast onto him. This conflict is suspended in the balance of liberation for his family and oppression he casts in the process, operating in this society. He fails to witness the values of his labor, the true purpose of his life and place in the world. This leads to the repetitive cycle of abandonment and displacement that continue to contribute to their capitalist society.   

     In “Marx’s Use of “Class””, Bertel Ollman refers to two categories Marx considered to make up the structure of a developed capitalist society. The first category is the capitalist (owner of the means of social production) and the proletarian (employers of wage labor). The capitalist owns the means of production, therefore owning the means of labor and distribution of them (Ollman, 2).  Troy and his boss Mr. Rand, for example, may both be considered wage laborers, however the commissioner would be considered a capitalist, as would the contributors who hold stock in the ownership of their company. He determines the distribution of labor and prices set on their respective wages. Mr. Rand is white, and Troy is Black. The construct of racism is an extension of the social ideology of class separation. This construct works to benefit the social structure of this society, exploiting the labor of black individuals by devaluing them while profiting off of their labor. This determines Troy’s individual and labor as a lesser value based on the color of his skin and places him in a lower-class bracket. Mr. Rand, however, is white and offered access to the position that offers a higher wage. Troy recognizes his ability to play baseball just as well as the white men in his league and athletic cohort, despite being denied the opportunities to do so. He challenges this again to Mr. Rand and the commissioner when representing himself and his abilities to drive a truck and earn a better wage based on his skill. Regardless of skill and race, their wages are driven by and delivered to those in the ruling class of landowners (a third class category of capitalist society), described in “Marx’s Uses of Class” (Ollman 6).

      The foundation for Troy’s will to live a pursue a life of independence after his father abandons him, exists in the needs to sustain it. These needs include food, shelter access to labor and the income to provide them. The ideological barriers set by his society separate him from earning wages to sufficiently meet these needs and he seeks them by shamefully robbing from those who have excess or access to them. The means to his family’s housing, needs can be considered commodities, as they are met and provided by the income that grants access to them. This income is exchanged for the time Troy gives in the form of his labor, to his company in exchange for income. Marx refers to this exchange as commodification, or the monetary value placed on that time reserved for labor (output). This operates under what Marx referred to as the ‘mode production’, and is elaborated in Geert Reuten’s writings on The Capitalist Economy in which the ruling class seizes profit by owning the means of production that distributes access to goods and services to people as well as the labor and wages to produce them. Under the ‘capitalist mode of production’ highlighted in the book “The Unity of Capitalist Economy and State” Reuten says, “Along with this commodification and the wage income deriving from it, the households’ acquirement of production outputs of enterprises takes the form of commodified ‘consumption’” (Reuten 52). The pride that Troy demonstrates for his abilities to provide for his family is displaced. Though it is opposite his father’s shame (for not providing them) he still recycles and demonstrates the tensions, want and dominant control for quality life. When he discusses his hatred for his father, Troy struggles to define the trap his father is in. It is not the guilt of abandoning of his family that traps him, or the responsibility to stay. It is the societal barriers that keep him locked into his labor, void of anything beyond that, including freedom, love or care. This anchors him to a family he cannot provide for and does not wish to. 

TROY How he gonna leave with eleven kids? And where he gonna go? He ain't knew how to do nothing but farm. No, he was trapped and I think he knew it. But I'll say this for him . . . he felt a responsibility toward us. Maybe he ain't treated us the way I felt he should have . . . but without that responsibility he could have walked off and left us . . . made his own way. (Wilson 1.3.37-38)

     Though Troy is able to recognize the loyalty modeled for him by his father, it is coupled with abuse, betrayal and abandonment from his parents. The internalized hatred, anger and pain displayed in Troy and his father are reflective byproducts of the dehumanization and segregation placed on them by their society. This shapes their conflict which results in abandonment, consequently contributing to and demonstrating the same capitalist societal model. 

     Despite the ideological barriers set by society and recognized by Troy, he capitalizes on the inheritance from his brother’s military compensation as well as his own labor income. He now controls the means to his own family’s needs, and the distributions of them, including money, housing, food and protection. In an article featured in “The Black Scholar”, released post-civil rights movement, Alfonso Pinkney discusses methods of liberation attempted by Black Americans who remain segregated, oppressed and obstructed in white European American dominated capitalist society. He says, 

     “...and because the very notion of assimilation as defined by white                       Americans is racist in that it demands that they share and adopt middle-             class white cultural standards, that assimilation at the present time is neither       likely nor desirable” (Pinkney 37). 

     Troy’s capitalization is coupled with his assimilation and previous sacrifices to survive and provide as a Black man in America, Consequently, they have made him bitter and self-righteous. This is revealed in the disdain and conditional relationships he has with his children. Lyons is attuned to the disparities his father faces, who is undervalued and underutilized at his job. He wants no part in contributing to the society his father remains submissive to. Lyons would rather seek value in the labor that liberates him spiritually and serves him purpose and meaning. Despite his lack of wage labor experience, Cory is aware of his talents and the opportunities that follow. This includes access to education and the potential for an independent life, afforded to him by his passions. This secures value in himself but is quickly met with disapproval, from Troy and his authority from his experience with racial oppression in sports. 

TROY. I don’t care where he coming from. The white man ain’t gonna let you get nowhere with that football noway. (Wilson I.3.37-38) The same sentiment is shared when Lyons returns home to ask Troy for a loan while his wife Bonnie works to meet their financial needs. Lyons doesn’t seem ashamed that his wife is bringing in the income for their family, nor does he ask for any more than he knows they need to get by. Lyons and Cory can understand the value of their father’s labor and the liberties it has afforded them, though Troy feels owed for these efforts. 

    Troy’s monetary and material expectations for his children through labor and hard work are mixed with his desires for liberation from the society they must exist in. His demands for unquestioned respect and compliance adhere to this system which blind him from the values his children see in themselves and their father. The tragic theme in August Wilson’s drama is what Karl Marx referred to as Alienation. Mike Healy elaborates in Marx and Digital Machines:   

     “Marx argues that capitalism, in which labour itself becomes a commodity,          continues yet contorts this process to create a contradictory, conflictual              and universal alienated condition in which all relations under capitalism are        alienated relations” (Healy 8).

     In Marx’s third type of alienation is The Alienation of Species. The ‘Species being’ refers to the nature and spirit attached to, recognized and utilized by the individual self. This comes with autonomy, agency and will to serve the values of the self, allowing the self to connect with others. The alienation of nature and spirit (species-being) is the abandonment or failure to connect with the self. This is consequential, following what Marx’s described as the alienation of labor (the act of production) to the self which is replaced by the worker (Healy 10). Consequently, Troy no longer recognizes or seeks meaning and purpose in his own life and therefore cannot see the value in the lives around them.

     The societal conditioning that shaped Troy’s father has been internalized by Troy and attempted on Lyons and Cory. Cory breaks the tension and cycle of generational abuse in this revelation and last interaction with his father. 

TROY You got to get by where? This is my house. Bought and paid for. In full. Took me fifteen years. And if you wanna go in my house and I'm sitting on the steps . . . you say excuse me. Like your mama taught you. (Wilson 2.4.86-87)

CORY You ain’t never done nothing but hold me back. Afraid I was gonna be better than you. All you ever did was try and make me scared of you. (Wilson 2.4.88-89)

CORY It ain't your yard. You took Uncle Gabe's money he got from the army to buy this house and then you put him out.  (Wilson 2.4.89-90)

     Cory has just been stripped of his own opportunity for a future he wanted, leaving him to join the ranks of the same military that permanently disabled his uncle. Troy’s final effort to assert dominance is to threaten to abandon Cory and take away his needs and means for survival. This is quickly challenged as Cory resorts to an attempt on Troy’s life. In his physical defeat, Cory has exposed the travesty of his father’s entitlement and abuse, becoming the last person to abandon Troy. In this unveiling of Troy’s corrupt act of survival, his alienation is fully revealed to him, moments before his inevitable death. The labor, time and wages he contributes to his family, along with his brother’s stolen inheritance, act as the means of control and distributions he holds over them. These means also support and contribute to the liberty for his sons, to choose direction in their lives. This freedom acts as the resistance to the control and dominance Troy attempts to assert on them in this process of capitalist production. He realizes his life has no value as long as he fails to see beyond the monetary gain and labor capacity attached to it. This capacity and gain are the means that replace any vision of the role he plays in his family or to himself. Death now approaches to remind him of this and takes the liberty of relinquishing Troy Maxson from the shackles of his racist capitalist dominant society and his own imprisonment.

[yossariandawn]

Send a character: Scott Fuller! Abed Nadir and Britta Perry

Thanks so much for the asks @sandalaris, for giving me another opportunity to go on about some of my very favorite characters! 💖💖💖

Scott Fuller:

First impression: He didn’t really leave much of an impression on me right off the bat, to be honest. He was so quiet, and seemed very much not invested in what was happening. He was cute and a bit obnoxious the way brothers and boys that age can be, but if a character doesn’t seem to care about what’s happening, it’s hard for me to be all that interested in them. The first moment he really jumped out at me was probably in Let’s Get Ramblin’ (S1E4) when Richie stuck the gun in his face for the “f you look” speech. Watching him simmer with rage, seeing just how close it came to overpowering his fear and how badly he wanted to act in that moment really caught my eye, and made me look at him in a new light. His “power shifts” speech in the RV was the moment that really cemented him as fascinating to me.

Impression now: Scott is, without a doubt, one of my favorite characters in the show. He may not have had as many strongly centered POV storylines as Seth, Richie and Kate did, but following both his on and offscreen journey is so interesting. Recently I've been thinking a lot how very black and white his world view is, and how much that leads him further and further down a path that in the end, he didn’t want to be on. It’s a complicated and grey world out there, and Scott had to learn that firsthand, and even then, he still struggles with knowing it. Scott is extremely observant, but his focus often stays on threat assessment, not motivations, and the fact that he struggles to see nuance, to grant people the complexity of emotion he himself feels so strongly, impacts so much of how he moves through the world, how he views both himself or other people, and why he makes so many of the choices he does. It’s so telling that his fears of being unaccepted by his family always come out right after he himself tries to use force to change them, and if they don’t want to be changed the same way he has? Then in his eyes, he never was a part of the family! Oh Scott. It’s all or nothing, love and acceptance OR hate and rejection, saved or damned, or saints or sinners, as his song goes. Seth’s line about him wearing a black hat resonates with him, I think. Not that he is evil by any means, but in his mind people do wear black or white hats. It’s bullies or victims, innocent or damned. And once he decides to see himself as someone who eats people, someone who can’t be saved, he decided to GO ALL IN on the black hat thing. He doesn’t just stop feeding off cats, he crucified his classmates! He doesn’t believe he can have both the swords and the music, so leaving the band means destroying it too. The lack of middle ground is a real problem for him, and it has extremely high stakes for everyone, which is just neat, ok? How many teenage rebels end up joining a bloody revolution to deal with their angst on belonging and identity?! Not enough, I say.

Favorite moment: Right now, it’s Scott returning to Carlos in Bizarre Tales (S2E06) in that above gif. The callback to Carlos sending him to find out who he is using the symbolism of the crossing an ocean as a journey towards self discovery, his almost flippant rejection of that, and all that symbolizes on it’s own, even fact that even his defacto pledge of allegiance to Carlos comes with so much insolent attitude. PERFECT.

Idea for a story: I very much want to read or see Scott after season 3, forging ahead on his path. I would love to see him sometimes teamed up with Freddie! I think there is a ton of unexplored stuff there that would be just neat to see play out. They have so much in common, They're both adopted loners with complicated relationships to their past and what it means for their future, they both have to live with one foot in two worlds, and they both struggle to find balance while doing so. They are both prone to righteous anger, and have a certain restlessness to them that gets them caught up in the broader machinations of destiny more often than they like. They also have really interesting relationships to rule following and rulebreaking. I think they could learn a lot about themselves while learning more about each other. Plus, Freddie could use a mentee, and Scott is always looking for a mentor. So win win!

Unpopular opinion: That’s not a ton of Scott stuff out there, which is a shame! I’m sure that’s partially due to the fact he doesn’t really get a ship, and we know how fandoms gravitates towards the most shippable. The Scott tag is thankfully pretty Pro!Scott., but I have seen some downplaying of his choice to rejoin Carlos after 205 that I think inadvertently robs him of his agency in an attempt to defend him. And I get that desire to defend him, trust me. He both is and feels so very young and vulnerable, a lot more than Kate does, though they are roughly the same age. But the show is all about people being messy, it has victim and victimizer often coexisting in the same person in interesting ways, and Scott is no means immune to that. Scott is still very emotionally immature, he’s strongly influenced by his emotions in the moment and struggles to see beyond that, and that makes him so vulnerable to outside forces, but the things he does and the choices he makes aren’t happening in a vacuum, they very much effect other people and the larger world, and they matter! It’s trite to say, but it’s also true: Power comes with responsibility, and Scott, whether he is prepared to handle it, does wield a greater power now than he did before, and is also seeking more power to boot.  His culebra status  is an excellent metaphor for the transformation into an adult, because it gives him the power of life and death (or change) over others. And his choice to go back and get involved in culebra politics means that what side he picks matters beyond his own personal choice. Carlos may represent himself as the underdog fighting for his people, and he may even believe that himself, but everything he wants and is working for will sow so much more misery and destruction and death, not just for humans, but for culebras too. And joining up with a megalomaniac who is building his new empire on even more blood, rape, violence, and subjugation is not something that can be brushed off as only a teenage act of rebellion, or as someone just trying to find himself. Do I think Scott understands the full scope of what he’s mixed up in? No, and that’s one of the reasons Kate’s death is such an effective wake up call for him, to see and experience firsthand the price that not only he, but also others caught in the crossfire will also have to pay.

Favorite relationship: Kate! Look, I love the Gecko Brothers and their codependency, it’s interesting and heartbreaking and also very much NOT the norm for most people, ok? So I really love that this show also gives us something much closer to what siblings look like for a lot of people, while keeping the stakes just as high and the love just as powerful. The messiness of adoption stuff isn’t brushed aside, but it’s also never treated as if they aren’t a real family either, even if they don’t share blood (or fangs, for that matter). It’s just so damn important to see siblings who love each other, who would follow each other to the literal Gates of Hell (or a Bloodwell, or into the deeper into the depths of a Labyrinth, depending on the season) who then learn they can still walk their own paths afterward. Sometimes love is also about letting go, and their journey is about being able to do that without fear or anger, to let each other find their own way, to not have it mean rejection, but acceptance and love and understanding instead. Scott’s offer to let Kate come with him is very sweet, and a big sign of his own growth, made with love (and not a small amount of guilt) but it’s not an offer of partnership either, and the fact that they want different things, that they are different, doesn’t mean they aren’t family. It’s not the end of them either, as I have no doubt Scott and Kate will stay both in touch and in each others lives, but I’m just happy, in a show that prioritizes both family and finding where you belong, and the hard road to get there, it ends with a loving parting of the the Fuller Siblings, an excellent contrast to all their previous goodbyes.

Favorite headcanon: I think Scott stays on the move, maybe even going from town to town as a mysterious figure who comes in and sometimes cleans up some of the more heinous predators he runs into. I’d personally love to see his righteous anger blossom into a defense of those who are more defenseless. I think that would be a very cool full circle on his anger at the bullies of the world, and would give him purpose and guidance too. Also, I just think he would love that so much, both the mystery and the heroics. Personally I don’t want him getting too mixed up with any one faction of Culebra politics, and I’d like to think after the Carlos stuff he will be more distrustful of charismatic leaders and false prophets and movements in general. I think he could do a lot of good as a free agent, traveling through different territories and countries, crossing borders and learning about how other people and cultures function and bringing the best of it with him. It would give him such a unique perspective! Also, he for sure keeps making music, and becomes something of an underground legend in that world too

Abed Nadir:

First impression: He was the character I first connected with! I love overly passionate people, the kind of people who get so worked about the thing they love everyone else just kinds of stares in amazement when they really go going, and I love well done meta, and I LOVE storytelling, so: I LOVE ABED. His analytical mind and deceptively calm and disengaged demeanor only makes his passion all the more interesting, and watching him move through and sometimes meddle with the world around him through pop culture, tropes and references is just a ton of fun. As someone who also spends way too much of my time caring and thinking about fictional worlds and fictional people, I can relate.

Impression now: Still love him! And I’ve really grown to appreciate how complex the show let him be, he’s not really ever the butt of the joke or the resident weirdo, but his brain and his history, all his quirks and way of coping them do have an effect on both him and his relationships, just like everyone else’s do in the show. His different way of looking at the world is just different, not good or bad. Sometimes it gets him closer to the truth then the others, but it never hands him all the easy answers either. 

Favorite moment: I loved the moments he let his guard down, like during the Lava Game when he admitted to Troy he really couldn’t stop, even though he wanted to. Hm, I also loved anytime he got to play around as a character, his Han Solo was so much fun! And one of my favorite lines from him was during Anthropology 101, when he demolished Jeff with “I can tell life from tv, Jeff. Tv makes sense, it has structure, logic, rules, and likeable leading men. In life we have this. We have YOU.” Don’t push Abed to far, y’all.

Idea for a story: I don’t read a lot of fic in the Community fandom, actually! I never shipped any of the characters (excluding a very brief flirtation with Jeff/Britta in season one) and the show itself feels like fic in the best way at times, so I never went looking for more outside of the show. I suppose I would love to read or see a Troy and Abed reunion, or something that dealt with how their friendship continued post show as they both grew up and faced new challenges and stages of life.

Unpopular opinion: I’m not a Troy/Abed shipper, myself, though I do understand the appeal.

Favorite relationship: Troy, obviously. Platonically, unless the show comes back and says otherwise, which I could buy, but will stick with just Lifelong BFFS untill otherwise. I love that it was something they had to work on too, they just weren’t BFF’s and then it was smooth sailing, they had to maintain and evolve what that meant, and sometimes that meant campus wide pillow fight wars, and sometimes that meant one of them actually sailing off with LeVar Burton on a yacht . Other than Troy? I liked the Secret Service Agent as a one off relationship. Abed/Meta is my OTP though.

Favorite headcanon: I do think he finds work behind the camera, hopefully in tv, as that will be much more rewarding for him them movies. And I’m sure variations of the study group will end up in things he makes too, little bits of Shirley, Jeff, Britta, Troy, Annie, and Pierce in the characters he shapes, so other people can grow to love and understand them and their value. And the Dean! Oh, the Dean.

Britta Perry:

First impression: WAS SO WRONG, and I am so glad to have been wrong. I honestly thought she was going to be the Standard Cool Girl Love Interest, Unattainable until Earned for Jeff, like a human progress bar on his growth as a person.

Impression now: She’s one of my all time favorites, and always will be. I don’t even know what to say to her that I haven’t said here, but if you want a perfect summary of what I love about her, Everything Is Wrong by Laura Shapiro says it better than I ever could in a pitch perfect music vid.  

Favorite moment: Oooh, that is a tough question. Actually, I’m going to cheat and list 3 of my favorite Britta storylines episodes: The Science of Illusion (S1E20)  Geography of Global Conflict (S3E2) and Geothermal Escapism ( S5E5) She would be proud I fought the system, I hope.

Idea for a story: Shoot, again, don’t really have any story ideas. OH. I take that back, I would read the HELL out of a Richie/Britta crossover fic. I blame you for that @sandalaris. edit: my headcanon too

Unpopular opinion: Hmm, I don’t know! I’m not really in the Community fandom, tbh. It’s not something I’ve read a lot of fic for, and while I’m always happy to see it come across my dash, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything I disagree with on her! I think she’s the best, if that matters.

Favorite relationship: I really love her Broship with Jeff so much! And I always love watching her interact with any of the study group. For one of her romances, her relationship with Subway™ was probably the one I enjoyed the most. Is there a more perfect torrid love affair for Britta than the one she had with a man embodying a sandwich corporation? I think not.

Favorite headcanon: I hope she gets to travel the world more after the show ends. I don’t think she ever settles fully into any career, always bouncing from job to job and passion to passion, because that’s what Britta’s true passion in life is: finding things to be passionate about. I also think she keeps in contact with all the group too, no matter how far and wide they go. She’s the type of friend who shows up out of the blue one day to crash on their couch, and gets outraged on their behalf on all the little compromises life has forced them to make. Maybe they didn’t even see those compromises, or had accepted them as part of being an adult, but she will shake things up and there will be hijinks and upheavals, and forcing confrontations and truths in her own Britta way. And when the dust settles, they will feel renewed in some way, more themselves, and she will be off to the next adventure.

[ahiddenpath]

Combating Writing Paralysis with Successive Drafts

Hey all!  It’s been a long time since I’ve written about writing, but a switch flipped in my brain while I was drafting this morning.  Suddenly, I had to share my thoughts on utilizing successive drafts to split the copious concepts writers juggle into manageable loads.  

This is a long, but practical post.  I hope you’ll read on below the cut!

It’s common for writers to feel overwhelmed, and no wonder.  There are so many narrative elements to consider, and there’s usually far more content to write before you have a complete work of fiction.

My advice is to never attempt to nail every aspect of your story in the first draft.  Instead, try approaching each draft with specific goals, lightening your expectations and mental load for each iteration.  The idea is to make writing less intimidating, and to polish every element by giving each one individual attention.

I’m not a professional writer, so I can only tell you how I approach the drafting process.  I encourage you to experiment with these ideas and find what works best for you; there’s no need to limit yourself to my template.

Annnnd here we go!

Draft 1:  Plot and Movement

The purpose of my first draft is to simply move the characters through the plot points/action of the chapter or scene.  

I’m not suggesting that you exclude dialogue and characterization, or that you write a plot outline.  Simply write a rough draft in its entirety, but don’t worry about the quality.  Your goal here is to iron out what happens.

Draft 2:  Herding the Plot Bunnies, Staging

In this draft, I focus on:

-Refining the plot:  At this stage, I consider concerns such as: do the plot points obey the work’s internal logic?  How does this scene contribute to the overall plot?  How does it lead to the next scene?  Am I properly setting up/providing info for future scenes?  

-Tracking plot details:  If timeline/dates/the current time are important to your story, double check them.  Make sure no important objects materialized from the ether.  Confirm that no plot points were dropped or forgotten; if a character lost her shoe last scene, then it should still be gone.

-Scene staging:  Did a character appear in the scene without explanation (ie, where did he come from)?  Where is everyone standing?  Where are any important objects?  If there’s an animal in the scene, where is it (it’s so easy to forget to mention a pet, who should be included in scenes set in the character’s living area)?  Are there important environmental features?

Draft 3:  Setting/Description, Characterization, and Pacing

Now that the basic details are handled, it’s time to dig deeper!  In this iteration, I focus on:

-Adding information about the setting.  In the previous drafts, you established where the characters are (for example, at a library).  Now, you can focus on the details and engage the senses.  What does the library look like?  Are patrons being quiet, or is someone obnoxiously talking?  Does it smell like old books?  Is the protagonist handling a mass produced book with thin pages that stain fingers with printing ink, or a hefty tome meant to last for generations?

-Enhancing dialogue and characterization and marrying them to the plot.  For example, in the library, perhaps the most bookish or research-oriented character should lead the scene.  Alternatively, maybe a less scholastic character is out of their element, and needs help or feels uncomfortable.  Choose the character best suited to move the plot along and generate the mood you desire.  

Ideally, you want the characters to lead the plot (ie, have agency), instead of the plot seizing the characters (ie, the characters have no choice but to flounder along with what is happening).  Plot-driven stories are absolutely a thing, so if that’s what you’re writing, then go for it.  Generally, though, audiences respond best to characters making their own decisions.

This is the perfect time to examine your previous drafts and play around with the characters, shuffling them among scenes or reassigning lines of dialogue as needed.  Which character has the skills or personality to handle this challenge?  Which character needs to be here to learn a pivotal piece of information, or to witness the scene and be changed by it?

-After you address the above points, take time to consider the chapter’s pacing.  Does anything feel bogged down and repetitive?  Rushed or unclear?

Draft 4:  Character Growth, Theme and Mood

Ah, now we’re getting to the juicy bits!  

You might have noticed that these drafts focus on increasingly difficult concepts.  Now, we’re striking at the heart of narratives: what the story aims to say, and how it aims to make readers feel.

Here’s what I consider at this stage:

-Character growth.  What did Character learn from this?  What new idea is churning in her head?  What pressures are building that might explode later?  How did I show Character displaying her growth or regression?

-How did I reinforce the thematic goals I have for this scene, and for the entire piece?  

It’s pivotal to identify your themes before you begin work on a story.  At this stage, I briefly identify how the chapter or scene supports the work’s themes.

Everyone has specific themes that matter to them.  I tend to write about: dealing with trauma, surviving and healing from abuse, the importance of seeking and giving support, found families, self-actualization, setting up and balancing your life according to your specific needs, feminist issues, establishing boundaries, acceptance, and independence vs dependence.  Even my works with lots of shenanigans and comedy, like Four Years, circle around these ideas.

I also “level” my themes in this draft.  I want to avoid being too heavy-handed or too oblique.  People tend to go too hard, rather than too soft, so I usually dial back.  You want to guide your reader to your point, not write it on your knuckles and deck them. 

-How does this scene make me feel?  

Influencing the emotions of your readers is... possibly a writer’s loftiest goal?  If readers experience an emotion as a result of your writing, then they’re invested, they’re absorbing it.  And, to some degree, they’re resonating with your words and message- and with you.

Consider what mood best suits your intentions, and play close attention to your execution.

Editing and Proofreading

I edit and proofread during every draft stage, except for draft 1 (here’s a resource on the difference between the two, if you’re interested).  

Stephen King’s On Writing is a must for folks who want to learn more about editing.  I’ve read many writing books, but his taught me to edit with a single sample, so it’s the one I recommend.  Basically, you must learn to excise words that aren’t adding anything (adverbs are frequent offenders), replace words with more direct/relevant/evocative ones, and replace hefty phrases with shorter ones.  Here’s a sample of that last concept from my Seeking Resonance draft:

“Koushiro moved out of the doorway” became “Koushiro moved aside.”  In the prose, I already established that Koushiro was in the doorway.  There was no need to specify where he was both coming and going, so I was able to express the idea with three words instead of six and avoid repeating the word “doorway/door.”

Once you see this logic in action, everything will click.  Give On Writing a read!  I guarantee that your library has copies, probably physical and digital.

Whew, I am out of steam, so I’ll wrap this up!  Remember, trying to hold the many aspects of narratives in your hands and carry them simultaneously is an enormous mental load.  It’s so much to carry that you might walk away instead of writing.  I hope this encourages you to pick up a few pieces at a time, in whatever order and combination makes sense to you.  

Additional Writing Posts

-Dishing with an artist

-Tips for Fanfic Authors

-More Tips for Fanfic Authors

-Tips for Winning Nanowrimo

-Resources/Advice for Digimon Adventure Fanfic Writers

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 130 Review

For the first time, thanks to this chapter, SNK is more popular than Domestic Na Kanojo, a manga about a love triangle between a dude and his step-sisters, one of whom is his teacher.

We did it fam. Mission accomplished.

I feel like the scenario where the outside world and Paradis are kept apart with Paradis threatening to rumble the world if there’s any interference is something of an equilibrium point.

They say that nature has a balance to it. A natural rhythm that it follows on its own.

Predators hunt prey, so naturally there are less predators than prey, lest the prey population be wiped out. When predators are too many and prey is too few, the lack of food causes predators to leave the area or die off, which prompts the prey population to rebound.

So there’s a certain point at which things balance out. This is an equilibrium.

Social situations are like that too.  

People have desires and preferences, and in a social situation, a dynamic will form that satisfies as much of those desires as possible.

Because the equilibrium point is the state of affairs at which as many people as possible are satisfied, in the long term any disruption to that equilibrium will be corrected.

Not because of magic or anything, but just because it’s the scenario that most people prefer, so the state of affairs will trend towards it over time.

This is a really long way of saying that I think that some variation on the King Fritz scenario is the best outcome everyone can hope for.

Everyone gets to live and go about their lives.

The downside is that there’ll always be an undercurrent of resentment. And, oh yeah, becoming titans and eating children is necessary to make the wall titans work as a threat. That’s bad, but a natural balance isn’t a utopia.

It’s a testament to how much the SNK world sucks that *this* is the outcome that allows the most people to be happy.

Rape, parents eating children, all of it indefinitely.

That’s one of the most frustrating things about this chapter.

Just…what even is the message of this story anymore?

Attack on Titan is a series about freedom and striving for freedom. Eren has embodied that struggle the whole time.

But now?

Eren is a lunatic who’s about to crush the whole world.

The Cringevengers are fighting for freedom, but not their own. Stopping Eren will only open a pathway for the world to retaliate against Paradis for the failed rumbling. Their mission is one of self-destruction.

That’s noble, but it’s looking more and more like the cringevengers are going to lose. They’re physically and mentally exhausted, and they don’t really have much personal stake in this anymore.

So I guess we’re heading for an ending where Eren destroys the world.

If that’s the case, then…what’s the message?

Is this a tragedy?

Tragedies are about characters failing to rise above their flaws, but they’re also supposed to be constructive.

Tragedies work when they show the audience that a happy ending could have happened but for the character’s flaws.

Romeo and Juliet could have lived if it weren’t for their feuding families, for example. The story ended sadly, but there was a clear path to a happy ending.

What is the path forward in Attack on Titan?

The Marleyans are shit. They’re racist colonialists out to dominate the world. They coral Eldians into camps, use them as weapons, and want to build a global empire. Their long term motivation is to preserve their global dominance.

Eren is a lunatic. ‘Nuff said.

The Cringevengers have the moral high ground, but…if they win, the Eldians still die. So…go Cringevengers?

Who is the hero of this story right now?

Which path is the right one?

What is even the message anymore?

The answer is that there is none.

The situation is clearly designed to make this outcome inevitable.

The world is going down this bad path because almost everyone has the same flaw: they are willing to kill people for the sake of their own prejudices.

If only a couple of characters had that flaw, this would be fine, but making this flaw so widespread makes it seem that humans in general are like this, and that’s wrong.

Most people are not like this.

I think the fact that humanity has not self-immolated yet speaks for itself.

I don’t know what’s going on in Isayama’s mind, but I wonder if maybe he’s a bit paranoid about tensions between Japan, and China, and the Koreas.

The possible social commentary in SNK is always interesting to think about, but I’m just going to skip over that here.

…

Ugh, I guess I have to talk about the pregnancy now.

So first off, my starting point when thinking about the pregnancy is that whatever happened, it didn’t involve rape.

That’s maybe something we shouldn’t assume, but I don’t think Isayama will cross that line. Having Historia go through that trauma for basically no reason is viscerally disgusting and I trust that Isayama knows that.

Attack on Titan is ostensibly about freedom; being forced to carry a child to term is not that.

Clearly.

So I take it as a given that there was no rape.

Once you do that, thinking about the pregnancy becomes much simpler.

There are really only two possible explanations:

1. That Historia fell in love with a man, decided to have a family…and that Isayama is playing up the possibility of rape for shock value.

Or.

2. The pregnancy is somehow fake.

So which is more believable?

Honestly, I lean towards (1), though I’d prefer it be fake.

Before this chapter came out, I never felt it was likely the pregnancy was fake. There was an aura of suspicion around it, but that doesn’t prove much.

We know the pregnancy was inexplicably advantageous to Zeke, and we know that Eren and Historia were up to something right before Eren disappeared.

Isayama is clearly hiding something, but a fake pregnancy specifically?

I see no reason why it would be that and not, say, a secret romance.

That’s what really scares me though.

Most people can explain why callous depictions of rape are bad. The number of people who can explain why callous depictions of queer people are bad is much smaller.

I ship yumikuri. In fact, it’s one of the few pairs I ship.

So call me biased if you want, but the bottom line is that Ymir explicitly loved Historia, and most people would at least say Historia might have reciprocated. I personally would say she definitely did.

Ymir loved Historia.

She loved her enough to reach out to her and try to save her from her own fate.

Enough to jump from the tower and fight off the titans.

Enough to make Bertolt and Reiner turn back to get her.

Ymir did all this because she loved Historia.

But Isayama, it seems, wrote it into his story that Ymir loved Historia just to move the plot forward.

And once Ymir’s purpose as a character was fulfilled, she was removed from the story and killed off screen.

That’s a really shitty thing to do.

Establishing a queer romance just so the characters have motivation to go from Point A to B and nothing more is fucking low.

It’s cheap as hell.

It’s offensive.

But, I have to point out, not as offensive as a rape victim carrying their child to term.

I think that’s important to keep in mind.

People have written about women’s rights for centuries. Those principles are well established, if not always followed.

Gay rights just aren’t.

Most people can tell you why reducing rape to cheap drama is bad; most people cannot tell you why reducing lesbian romance to a plot device is bad.

(The answer is that they both trivialize their subjects, albeit in slightly different ways.)

I bring this up because I think people underestimate the chances that in-universe Historia is pregnant because she wants to be pregnant.

We can infer from what we know that Historia is pregnant because it’s part of a plan to help Zeke or Paradis, but we can also infer that this is not exactly the case.

It’s not directly established that Historia is pregnant because of Paradis’ or Zeke’s machinations. All we know is that these people were plotting to use her to make babies. We haven’t seen the point where she was roped into those schemes.

So I don’t think it can be discounted that Isayama plans to pair Historia up with a guy, most likely either Eren or Farm boy. Unfortunately.

Gay people don’t have many allies in this world. Unfortunately, that means Isayama is likely to *not* be one of those allies.

SNK’s record of depicting gay relationships speaks for itself.

That was all what I thought before this chapter came out.

I still think that.

So.

Now I guess I have to talk about Historia in this chapter now.

So Historia’s scene opens with her having resigned herself to a future of rape and Eren telling her she’s a human being who has rights.

…

……

I almost can’t bring myself to talk about this.

You know, back when Attack on Titan first become popular, it got a lot of praise for how feminist it was.

It was a post-apocalyptic survival horror show, and it really stood out how many prominent women there were.

Hange, Annie, Mikasa, Sasha, Historia, Rico. These people saw real action and had real characters, and a lot of people appreciated that.

Yep.

Good times. Good times.

How did we get here?

What happened?

Historia’s character is all about agency.

She wanted to end her life because she thought she was a burden. In the cavern she was prepared to take on the same burden she’s taking on right now, but she chose to live for herself.

She saved herself from that fate.

She rejected her family’s burden and chose to forge her own path.

Now it’s like that never happened.

She’s back to killing herself for everyone else’s sake, except now she’s also a damsel who needs Eren to save her.

So Eren reveals his plan to her, and she’s totally distraught over it. She tries to reason with him, and Eren just glares at her like she’s Reiner or something.

Finally we get to the most eyebrow raising moment in this exchange: when Historia invokes Ymir to justify opposing Eren.

I think Ymir is supposed to be seen as a tragic figure in Attack on Titan.

She didn’t have to take the fall for those Eldian cultists. They plucked her out of nowhere and randomly decided to worship her. She didn’t ask for any of this trouble.

But regardless, she took the fall for them.

When she got a new lease on life, she chose to live for herself. She’d put herself before everyone else for a change. She’d let no one else’s fate decide her’s.

But it never turned out that way.

I think Ymir’s tragic flaw is that she cares too much for her own good.

She was always going out of her way for others and doing more than she needed to. Helping Connie, helping Historia, helping Reiner and Bertolt.

Her enemies.

Ymir is a good person at heart, and that’s not bad, but according to Attack on Titan’s morality, being “good” to the point of self-sacrifice is bad.

I think one of the morals of Attack on Titan is that if you sacrifice yourself for other people’s sake……you end up sacrificing yourself.

Ymir could have left Reiner and Bertolt to their fates and returned to the walls. She could have lived a happy life with her friends and the girl she loved.

But she didn’t.

She knew that returning to Marley would mean death for her, and guessed what happened?

She did the thing that would likely kill her and she was killed.

Ymir couldn’t help but be a “good girl” and for that she was punished.

Thus endeth the tragedy of Ymir.

Now we come to Historia.

“If I don’t do everything in my power to stop you, I can’t live with my head held high!”

Historia is using Ymir’s words, but she’s actually betraying Ymir right now.

Ymir meant those words in the sense of living for yourself and not others. In the sense of not being self-sacrificial.

As far as Historia is concerned, in her current situation, she only has two options.

Let them rape her for the sake of her people, or let Eren destroy the world.

That’s it.

As far as Historia is concerned, to oppose Eren is to tacitly support the rape option.

So Historia is using Ymir’s words, but really it’s an insult because she’s using them to defend what Ymir would have hated.

Her self-sacrifice.

One thing that’s interesting about Attack on Titan is what it says about standing up for yourself.

In the story, not being self-sacrificial ironically requires you to make sacrifices.

If Ymir had not helped Reiner and Bertolt, they would have been in a lot more trouble with Marley. In a way, if she had not gone with them, she would have been sacrificing them, in the sense that she would have been throwing them under the bus.

When Historia chooses to live for herself in the cavern, she screams about how she’ll happily throw humanity under the bus if it means saving herself.

That’s why she calls herself “the worst girl in history.”

As opposed to Krista, who is a “good girl.”

I think that’s what Isayama is going for here.

Krista is the “good girl” who’ll gladly take a bullet for you.

Historia is the “bad girl” who’ll gladly throw you overboard if it meant she didn’t have to debase herself.

Yeah, Historia later claimed she was in the moment when she said that, but that doesn’t mean much.

When you’re in the heat of the moment, and you’re acting on pure instinct, you’re likelier to reveal parts of yourself you wouldn’t otherwise.

Being in the moment doesn’t mean Historia doesn’t identify with what she said, it means she was speaking her mind with no filter.

In 130, Historia and Eren are superficially at odds with each other, but deep down Historia thinks Eren is right.

She doesn’t want to sacrifice herself, and I’m sure she feels she shouldn’t have to, just on principle.

The only reason she accepts this fate is because she feels she has to.

So when Eren asks Historia to not oppose him, and she refuses, he tells her she has it in her to do it because she’s “the worst girl in history.”

I think Historia is the kind of person who’d throw you under the bus if she knew it’d save what she values most: her friends, yes, but also herself.

But Historia is acting more like Krista, someone who’d throw their life away to save yours.

Eren is saying she needs to start acting like herself again.

He’s trying to remind Historia of who she is and what she used to think was most important to her.

(This scene is *so* misogynistic. I’m going to puke.)

The flashbacks in this chapter were presented as vignettes, so it’s hard to say how Eren’s scene with Historia ended.

One thing that stood out to me though was the clear through line that connected all the various scenes.

The first one is Eren talking to Yelena about Zeke’s plan.

Next scene is Eren and Floch talking about the real plan.

Then it’s Eren and Historia talking about the plan.

Then back to Eren and Floch for Eren’s reveal of what he’s really doing.

Back to Historia as Eren tries to win her over.

Then we cut to Zeke and Eren talking about Mikasa.

Finally, we go back to Historia.

This flow is important because we don’t know much about Eren’s talk with Historia, but I think we can tease out some clues based on what scenes we see when.

Historia is put on the spot. Eren has revealed his plan, and she opposes it. They argue back and forth, and we reach a point where Historia is at a loss for words, and doesn’t seem to know what to do.

Then we inexplicably cut to a conversation between Zeke and Eren.

A conversation about loyalty, affection, and standing by your friends.

The implications for what this hints at are huge.

Eren asks Zeke if Mikasa cares about him so much because of some Ackermann genetics.

Zeke replies there’s no proof of that, and Mikasa probably just loves him.

Finally, Historia speaks, and she asks Eren about getting pregnant.

She doesn’t go to such great lengths for Eren because she’s a slave!

She doesn’t subject herself to this because she’s being coerced!!

It’s because she  L O V E S  him ! ! !

Fuck this! Fuck me! Fuck everything!

[urkpoppsychic]

Pentagon messages/personality + lovelife + career reading

Pentagon 9/25/20 my first pentagon reading! I didnt include E-dawn but i will make a reading about him and Hyuna.

Reminders it is reading is for entertaining purposes and for my own personal growth it might not be 100% accurate just move on. thanks and enjoy ✨💝

Hui: prideful, He likes to plan things with friends and family but is not attached by high expectations. He would rather avoid disappointing situations. He is loyal, generous, when it comes to emotions and social relationships. He is financially stable, and a stable mindset. 

Lovelife: He might be single right now, he gets on dates like blinddates or dating sites, and with no intentions. He likes to meet people.  He is not really looking for a commitment right now but he wants to take romantic situations light and fun. 

How he feels about his career now?: He feels hurt, being stabbed in his back. With an argument or any sort of conflict. It's about his position, it might be disharmony and disappointments have been part of the issue. 

Jinho: He might feel fear of abandonment, rejection and betrayal. Thinking about the worst scenario. He might not always stick with one idea or opinion. He might change it anytime soon. He is being on guard and might overwork himself. Loss in control. 

Love life: He might be in a romantic relationship, where there is no independence, he relies too much on his lover, but luck is on his side cus the person seems to be a good partner for him and that will bring a lot of new challenges and new offers. Teamwork will balance their relationship to the positives. 

How he feels about his career now?: He might also feel a little hurt but he has recovered from it and there is a new passionate beginning for him. He still has passion for his job.  What had hurt him in the past was something that was beyond his control. He is depending on his agency. He is trying to forgive and move on from it. 

Hongseok: This person has an introverted personality, he loves to be alone but still hates to be lonely. He is a very competitive and hard working person. When he is overworking he might isolate himself quickly because he has the urge to solve and do everything on his own. He might not be used to someone's help. He might be also a bit messy when it comes to his room.

Love life: I see that he is single, He is thinking and daydreaming about having a girlfriend. Interest in this kind of idea and want to forget all the past experiences and forgive and want to make room for a new opportunity for love. He might have a crush or interest in someone from the same agency. 

How he feels about his career now?: He struggles at the moment and might have now lack of vision about his career. He might feel things aren't clear, no honesty. Only exciting thing for him is that he might see his crush at work. 

Shinwon: He fears for failure and is stuck with the thoughts of ruining it. He might be worried a lot these days. He might feel anger towards his entire team and work environment he is thinking of breaking away from it. He is being on guard and cautious. He is a child at heart and a fun person to be around. He is creative and sweet. But maybe emotional immature. 

Love life: He is in love with someone who is known as an elegant, very charming and attractive woman. It could be someone in the music industry. Someone who might be older or the same age. It could also mean that the relationship is moving forward and that the person might live in a different city. Or even different countries. He is charging the relationship and he is hoping to commit with her very soon.

How he feels about his career: I might have a feeling he is thinking about to leave the company. He might want to do something different, he might have new dreams and want to use his creativity. 

Yeo One: He is confident and stable, he has a lot of talents and might be playful rather than serious. He might have some authority in him and is working on his self-growth. He supports other members when he sees someone is in struggle. He wants to see the best in everyone and he is someone who will wake up from ur daydreams and focus on reality and give you a warm speech to not giving up.   

Love life: He might feel his effort to her was not enough, he feels disappointments and lack of passion. He feels defensive and might not like the idea how it turned out. The woman is taking it for granted but he is not enough. He wants the truth and honesty. He will end this very soon. 

How he feels about his career: He might feel trapped in ideas of expectations. He might choose something that he might be in fear of regretting it. . Feeling stuck in crossroads. No big actions.

 Yanan: This person has a clear mindset, he doesn't have any worries, he has a lot of freedom to move.  He is not a slave of his own thoughts. He might run a lot away from reality in the past but he understands that he can't always force himself to avoid mental challenges. He feels bored and dissatisfied. He is looking for an opportunity, a choice no matter the path he will choose, it is good and it ends well. 

Love life: indecision, He doesn't know if what he will choose is going to turn out well. He is slowly taking his time to know this person, He sees home and family with that person. The lover could be he or she and is a social butterfly, full of energy (active). Yanan might be a traditional person when it comes to dating. If he is thinking about dating he also thinks further like marriage. 

How he feels about his career: I see that he still has a passion for the member / someone from work  who shows a bit of negative traits. Manipulative? Laziness? Insecurities? Feeling left out in the cold by that person. 

Yuto: He stays with the same ongoing cycle, he refuses to change.. He might be bored as well and a bit jealous. He might come over bold and bad mouthed but he is actually very gentle and stable, He might be a good father figure. But he might feel a little jealous about others and feel dissatisfied.  

Love life: IZONE Member :O

How does he feel about his career?: He analyzes his challenge, he is smart with it, he is quick with ideas. Ambition, misalignment with the values. He might have to deal with a secret relationship. 

Kino: He might feel like giving up, he might feel overwhelmed by criticism and responsibility. He is perfectionistic A mentor or someone who he looks up to isn't really honest and unclear with helping him. It dissatisfied him and he might not feel to work hard. He is cautious and feels to distance himself from the situation. 

Love life: single, focus on other things. 

How does he feel about his career?: He wants to stay positive and optimistic. There is maybe somebody involved with their team that might cause some trouble. The road for his career looks stagnant. It caused hurt in the past but he is trying to forgive and recover from it. 

Wooseok: He has strong willpower, confidence and is competitive. He might stress and carry burdens on his back. He really wants to keep going and it will make him work hard and burden and stress grows. The music that was driving him, a desire that helped him, no longer is the sound of your mission. He might just be going through the motions and getting through the day. He is honest, intelligent. Nurturing and having love for nature. 

Love life: He is love sick, totally in love with someone, he will put her on a pedestal, The energy of that person feels to me very popular and famous and attractive and a great personality. He might be a bit younger and a bit immature but he is willing to take a romantic offer for her. He is losing his control of his emotion. He can no longer hold it back. G-idle? 

How does he feel about his career: Feeling dependent on the agency, feeling bored and dissatisfied, wanting a bit more action and passion. But he stays open minded with objective thoughts. He seeks professional advice. He feels corrupt.

[galaxy-notes]

on work, an introduction

it is indisputable that the U.S. nation-state built on a set of ideologies, including but not limited to: punishment, control and separation of people, capital, ability and productivity, institutionalized violence, domination over and extraction of our planet. these colonial and capitalist ideologies manifest in the institutions we encounter, in our relationships and in our very own psyches. one particular area of life we see this in is work. 

i define and critique “work” here as an institution that—as a result of the way it is embedded with and inextricable from the state—becomes a site of oppression, and a site that many of us have normalized into our very core. i define the “state” as the combination of U.S. governmental agencies, nonprofits and social service sectors, law enforcement, schools, prisons, medical industries, the market, and other institutions that deeply intertwine to uphold and centralize the U.S. settler-colonial, racist, imperialist, capitalist, and cisheteropatriachal governing body. work (like most other things, such as the economy, education, health) can be re-defined and transformed to be something different entirely (or to be something that doesn’t need to exist at all), but such a transformation cannot happen under or through the U.S. nation-state.

most—if not all—workplaces in their institutionalized forms will replicate the state in norms, culture and practices, regardless of the level of humanitarian, “radical” or “social justice” work they claim to be doing. work is dependent upon the settler-colonial state and the capitalist “market” for its existence. in this sense, there are historical and structural forces that have hold over workplaces, rather than workplaces (and employees) having ownership of and belonging to themselves. this is why work structures, ethics, conduct and policies are so top-down, cishet, patriarchal, bureaucratic, punitive and overall corporate-like in nature no matter the type of work. employees are coerced to perform and conform to this nature, superiors and management embody and replicate this paternalistic way of being, and we are discouraged to search for and be exposed to the tools, time and imagination to create new and truly liberatory systems. when employees perform this way of being for so much of our days and lives, masking our authentic selves in favor of “professionalism” (which is colonial, patriarchal, ableist and cis normative), it edges on danger for our own spirit and self. professionalism is entirely a performance and identity theft, yet often accepted as a cultural norm. this conformity ultimately isolates people from one another and prevents us from visionary relationship-building—from co-creating structures in our lives that dissolve capitalist and colonial ways of being and promote greater autonomy.

isolation, control and routine

work is normalized to be the centerpiece of our lives. there is a cognitive dissonance when we claim that we can “balance” the way we spend our time and energy. work-life balance is a myth designed to keep us passive and productive for work. in no situation does our current work week ever give us time to truly live out our lives. in the U.S., a 40-hour work week means we confine ourselves to an isolated office space, where we perform a level of being that isn’t authentically our own, where we are separated from our friends, family and community (which is in itself a “border”), where we dish out our labor not towards pleasure, desire, joy, self-expression, and community—but to meet often narrow and boring demands set by higher authority. this is no balance nor freedom. our work week prevents us from attuning themselves to their body’s natural rhythms and desires (slowing down, when to sleep, when to eat, when the body and self wants to do what).

work in its current form (whether part-time or full-time or overtime), particularly work that is not owned or directed by the workers themselves, replicates the state and thus, reproduces oppressive forces such as ableism, paternalism, surveillance, performance/professionalism, and separation/isolation. our identities, our lives and our labor belong to someone else. we are forced to lower our standards of life at the workplace, to dress up in a fully functioning able body, and distance ourselves away from our authentic selves.

a work-dominant society results in a work-dominant (and thus market-dominant) culture. daily routines are often timed, precisely scheduled, constricted and thus inaccessible. daily routines are created not out of personal desire, level of ability or love, but out of a “this is what I have to do to get through today [and the next day, and the next…] so that I can enjoy x y and z.” this reproduces a patriarchal-, ableist- and Protestant work ethic-driven expectation that we must endure and persevere to be considered useful (read: human) by the workplace, and only then do we deserve rest and individual/capitalist pursuit of success, fulfillment and happiness. our humanity is determined by our usefulness and ability to work.

beyond burnout

if we cannot assume a fully-functioning able body—that is to say here, if we are not ready to multitask, to cope with the enormous load of content and materials we must produce, balance quick turnarounds, and shove personal issues down to meet emotional demands of the communities we serve at work—then workplaces encourage us to take part in a self-care, not towards love and freedom but towards mental, emotional and ultimately spiritual control. this is especially present in nonprofit spaces where employers have gained awareness of burnout culture. workplaces co-opt a “self-care” narrative not for the personal well-being for their employees, but for the employee’s ability and increased productivity to accomplish as demanded by work. again, because work is tied to the state, any “self-care” narrative reproduces capitalist and colonial logics of the state, and justifies the mere existence of the state. our bodies are reduced to simple machines that must be “re-wired” and “fixed” to perform what is necessary for someone and/or something else. self-care, at its kindest and outside of state-supported narratives, is a practice that allows us to be who we’re meant to be, to tap into our needs and desires, form authentic relationships and build connectivity, and to continually explore the beauty in all of that. employer-driven self-care prevents worker autonomy because self-care is determined for, and not determined by us. in a work- and market-dominated culture, self-care is reduced to coping and getting by (“rest and recuperating”) for the purpose of work the next day to seemingly serve the needs of others, when ultimately, it is about serving our workplace and the market. self-care in this sense is to the benefit of the state, not to fulfill our spirit and natural desires, and certainly not to reconnect with and tend to our communities and our planet.

workplaces that especially like to proclaim their employees are “family” do all of this under false pretenses, oftentimes using the “family” metaphor as leverage to retain employees and assert dominance through a sort of manipulative recognition. sometimes the “family” and community aspect is what draws us in. because we have such limited time to build with our own, we force ourselves to regard our coworkers and bosses as also “family,” particularly in a work environment that is humanitarian, community or service-orientated. this alleviates guilt, because we feed ourselves the belief that either spending time with our “work family,” or getting ahead in our career (having a sense of “calling” or “purpose” to serve others)—or both—will justify the amount of time we spend working and away from ourselves and our actual families (chosen or otherwise). this is something we easily internalize because we believe work to be a place where we can exercise our creativity, and/or where we feel we are needed for the greater good of the “community.” we falsely believe that work itself, if we choose the field and especially if in fields of arts and humanities, can fulfill our spirits. once again, we leave out the very important detail that even the most humanitarian and community-oriented work is tied to the market and the state. true, loving families cannot exist in environments where patterns of coercion, abuse and domination are upheld.

work has deluded us into thinking that this way of living life is normal. state structures and philosophies (capitalism: time and financial control, ableist demands, among others) + (colonialism: domination, isolation and professionalism, etc.) of work do not allow us to exercise a greater part of our brain and our spirit; rather, they limit our visions and capabilities and leave us perpetually disappointed and searching for distractions. work is a central force in state domination and control. the more we work (day jobs, second shifts, side gigs), the more we succumb to distraction. distraction is a ruse to pull us away from confronting oppression, strategizing revolution, and planning for alternatives ways of living. it is an endless cycle, and the state blocks each and every exit. if our “work” (in a new definition) was not tied to the state (and to our ability to support ourselves), and if our work allowed us to be ourselves, to connect with each other and this planet, to exercise our creativity, desires, passion and spirit in the ways we want, then the world would already be a radically different place.

radical healing, rest and joy 

i want to highlight the difference between “self-care” as asserted by work vs. radical healing. work is a source of debility, mental unrest and chronic pain. while mental and chronic pain has its origins in generational/childhood trauma, work is a source of continued trauma. consider the following:  

(1) work prevents us from slowing down, resting and being attuned to the needs of our bodies. we often go about our days ignoring our physical pain, in which the pain might have occurred due to other reasons but is often intensified by work. if we do remember to take care of our bodies, we do it in a hurry so to not disturb our work schedule, counting down to the minutes because there is always something else we need to get to. we as a society are scheduled around work.

(2) healing from trauma is also restricted to a tight schedule. while there are alternative ways of healing besides therapy (herbalism, massage, yoga, napping, etc.) (how these indigenous/ancestral modalities have been co-opted by capitalism, Brahmanical supremacy and Western medicine/science is another essay entirely), those alternatives are scheduled out. work is mandatory, healing is not. work determines when and how often we have the capacity to partake in healing exercises. 

(3) most importantly, navigating generational and childhood trauma requires us to take time to set boundaries and also (re-)build relationships with ourselves and our families (those who are the source of the trauma, or the families we chose, or both). humans are defined by our relationships, and relationship transformation is key to healing from deep, collective trauma in order to begin new ways of relating and evolving as human beings. relationship building and transformation is hard as well as beautiful, but it takes time, practice and energy. when our lives revolve around work, by the end of the day our time and energy become depleted. as a result, one of the most important personal life journeys we take—transforming relationships and undoing cycles of localized, familial trauma—becomes the last priority because it is not easily and quickly done. 

when we do not step into radical, relational healing, our traumas persist, our employer’s version of “self-care” barely touches the surface, and our bodies debilitate. it becomes easier to fall into patterns of old harm, dispose of people who have hurt us, and to isolate ourselves once more. it is easier to push away our sites of trauma than to confront them because confrontation requires us to give it the attention and time we do not have. ultimately, it becomes easier for the state to separate and control us further. work keeps us debilitated, from participating in this important transformation, as work needs us to stay focused and present at work so as to not disturb output guaranteed by productive labor. when we as human beings do not have control over when, how, where and what for our bodies move through life—and when this becomes the state’s to own and control, we are experiencing a form of dehumanization and violence.

let’s also consider our fast-paced and ever consumerist society: we often want and need things to be simple, passive, easily consumable and understood because it is profitable to capitalism, we have little to no energy remaining after work, and we feel we have no choice otherwise. healing from our traumas is not just “self-care”—it is not fast, profitable nor consumable, and this is critical. healing is slow and takes our whole presence, commitment and energy; it shows how we can re-pace, re-center and re-shape our minds and our bodies. healing is difficult because it teaches us that community connection and rest—not isolation and productivity—are important, and that is something our bodies are not yet accustomed to. healing compels us to prioritize not work, but the right to love, joy, rest, laziness, art and autonomy—all which allow us to grow our souls and be in true community with others and this land. true, transformative i.e. radical healing cannot be done within the bounds of work as work exists entrenched to the state. in fact, healing diverts us away from work because healing is rest, and rest is a direct action against capitalism. it is clear then, that participating in radical healing is a direct threat to work—and ultimately a threat to the state. 

becoming more human

in an age where mental health and self-care are trendy topics, there is an absence of philosophical dialogues that pose questions re: our humanity. in this final section, i carry the words of grace lee boggs as she urges us to deeply re-define and re-imagine how we organize our society. this means confronting the root of what is dominating and dehumanizing our communities. i am tired of hearing we simply need more jobs, a living wage, fair and equitable workplaces, etc. we should stretch our imaginations and think about what work, what life really means to us. what does it mean to live a life beyond our ability to produce and contribute? to live a life of joy, autonomy, connection, rest and ease? it is in our innate human nature to love and care for oneself, and love and care for those around us, to tend to the earth, to reflect, to evolve and to adapt. how does resting promote spaces for us to be attuned to our desires, to be active in the things we want to do for ourselves and each other, rather than what we feel like we have to do? 

how does moving away from work, and moving towards love and care between interdependent, autonomous communities promote our participation in exercises of creating and building—exercises which make us feel alive and human? can we shift work into art and play, allowing us to honor our creative spirit in a way that truly values everyone’s own needs, desires and pace? what does healing, resting, connecting and co-creating in this way look like? 

we are at a unique time and opportunity, and these are the questions i want to explore and imagine further. we must begin by removing and ultimately freeing ourselves from the state control of work—and that means a total liberation from the state. we need to bring to the center and envision what a self-determined individual’s life looks like, what kind of relationships occur as a result, what centers joy, and how self-governing communities can coexist and collaborate together to take care of ourselves and this land—rooted in values of love, and prepared to engage in a fuller human and ecological consciousness. we must choose love, joy, connection and everything else that recognizes us at our core as human away from the state. we must choose to care for our communities and this planet. we must choose to shape a radical future before global fascism and ecological devastation chooses our future for us.

[durandtm]

TIMOTHEE CHALOMET, 19, NONBINARY, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, CAMPBELL “CAMP” DURAND! according to their records, they’re a SECOND YEAR, specializing in ADVANCED ENCRYPTION and DRIVER’S ED; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (dark circles under eyes, the scent of eucalyptus, running late, looking disinterested or confused, constantly writing). when it’s the (aquarius)’s birthday on FEBRUARY 18, they always request FRIED PICKLES from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ kara, 26, she/her, pst ⍀

HIS STORY.

+ Home is on the southwestern side of France where the scenery consisted of salt farms and old windmills. Many of the village's buildings were whitewashed, and some, even the farmhouses, had ornamental towers reminiscent of the 16th century. Their town of Ars-en-Ré was a commune on the Île de Ré in the Charente-Maritime. Whitewashed buildings there would often accent their buildings with grayish blues and whatever flowers they could grow. + Campbell Durand lived with his mother, Camila, and father, Hal, in a quaint guesthouse belonging to a fish and lobster farmer. + Boats went in and out of the harbor all day via a long channel between the marshes, and that was where you could find Hal from dusk to dawn. + A distinct feature of the town was its strange black and white church steeple. It had been a useful mariner's way-finder for centuries. Camila Durand would often go out to the steeple. She enjoyed the quiet walk over, the feel of the water’s breeze against her skin, and proudly overlooked her boys at work. Campbell would wave violently toward her, smile brightening his face, stomach rumbling for dinner, as she silently guided them home. + If Campbell was not in school, he was in and out of the harbor with his father. He would do at least one run in the morning before school and two after. On days with higher run expectancies or days when men would not show up due to poor weather conditions, Campbell would miss school, much to his and his mother’s dismay, to work with his father. + “Camp,” he began to be called. It was easier to shout one syllable than two over the deafening sound of the waters and men working. + The boy’s scent was slightly fishy, mixed with saltwater and sweat. Regardless of whether or not his peers’ families were in the same industries or higher middle class, this was unique to him and often kept him from experiencing close friendships.   + Once a year at most, Camila Durand went into the city. The trip’s purpose was to collect necessities, and despite her desire to take her son, Hal insisted Camp remain in Ars-en-Ré. + When Camila was pregnant with their second child, Camp was finally allowed to accompany his mother to the city to carry things for her. He stopped at a street vendor whose wooden display was covered with beautiful flowers and bottles filled with perfumes and oils. When the smell of eucalyptus grabbed his attention, Camila smiled; eucalyptus grew plentifully in Southern France and was the base note of her everyday perfume, a luxury item she was able to pick out for her wedding. She bought the eucalyptus oil for her son, a secret to be kept from Hal. Camp would use it when he got to school and hoped it wore off by the time he left. + Camp’s hair was a hectic mess of curls. His mother liked to wrap them around her index finger mindlessly, creating a sensitivity and exclusivity around the act. While he had an affinity for it and could often be found with a hand in his hair, he would never let anyone but his mother touch it, remaining true even into young adulthood. + Eventually, Camp’s curls grew long and people would tell his parents that he was such a “pretty girl.”  Camila tucked his long curls behind his ears like she did her own for as long as she could, but eventually, his father’s ego got the best of him. It was like Campbell’s masculinity was meant to be a reflection of his own. If Campbell was not masculine enough, Hal felt it meant he wasn’t masculine enough. + This led to the desire, manipulation, and force-of-hand Hal had in having another son. + Getting pregnant again was a long, hard road for Camila. Her first miscarriage was found out by Campbell climbing into her bed to find a mess of blood. Hal reprimanded Camp for screaming, even though it was the sounding alarm that saved her life at the time. Hal rushed out the door with Camila in his arms, slamming the door shut behind them. Things were never explained to Campbell, leaving him confused. When his mother arrived home safely, he quickly held to the relief and asked no questions. It wasn’t until she began to show, two pregnancies and one miscarriage later, that he found out his parents were still trying. + When it was time for the baby to come, delivery was even more difficult than the act of getting pregnant. The complications took her life. + After his mother had passed, there was nothing tying Campbell and Hal together. He fell into a quiet, depressive state and spent his entire earnings at the harbor on a laptop like the ones all of the kids at school had. + Camp barely tried at school, though he succeeded with flying colors. + When he got home, he would remain tucked away in his room, playing video games, coding, learning and unlearning algorithms, and the like. He often would stay up all night, sleep becoming less and less of a priority as his eyes remained glued to the blue light of his screen. + His father began drinking when he got home. The two sat at the dinner table together. They didn’t talk. If anything was to be said, it was Hal, telling Camp that he would waste his life away on that computer and never make anything of himself. + Camp began hacking. It started out as a result of having beaten all of his video games and having no money to buy more. It became his own sort of game. It started small, the computers of classmates, then teachers, then strangers, then businesses, then local government, then banks, and eventually, secret intelligence branches. + The boy had no ambitions, no goals, no ulterior motive, no end game. He was told that there would be very serious consequences for his actions, but the agency was in America, a country in which he was not legally adult, and he felt untouchable. His 18th birthday wasn’t far so they did with him what they would have done with any juvenile delinquent in his position and offered him a “bright future” that started with Gallagher Academy. The Fall semester would begin in September of 2019, and along with it, would begin Camp’s new life. + He packed his bags, gave his father a reluctant hug, ignoring his proud ramblings of how he would make something of himself after all and that his mother would be so proud, and was on his way. He would wake up and go to sleep missing the quiet safety of the home his mother had once occupied. He would miss the certainty of his father’s mundane routines and joining him for quiet dinners of cabbage and meat stew when he got home.

HIS PERSONALITY.

(insightful, patient, weird, rebelling, lone wolf, great listener, always running late, 1000 moods, needs space)

+ Kaiju films are they’re favorite (Kaiju is a Japenese genre of films featuring giant monsters that are usually attacking major cities) + Also loves Ghostbusters + Always has a movie they want you to watch + Barely sleeps, leaving dark circles permanently under their eyes + Computer is so old it glitches. + Dreams of a car with a neon under-glow, though they don’t know where they’d drive it + Included a major of driver’s ed because they have never driven a car, nor has their family ever owned one, and driving fast sounds cool + Ends up using it as a coping mechanism. some people punch things when they’re mad, others cry, he drives. fast. dangerously. recklessly. but it’s okay because technically they’re studying + Drinks absinthe as a way of remaining close to their father, who they think they’re destined to be regardless of what fancy school invited them to the states and thinks they’re “talented” and “genius” + Listens to Mariana’s Trench in the background of whatever they’re doing + Has tattoo ideas, but no tattoos: UFO, bermuda triangle, third eye, a mask, illuminati symbol + Talks to you for hours about conspiracy theories + Writes poetry + Likes feeling the breeze with their eyes closed (it reminds them of their mother doing the same at the church steeple, looking over them at the harbor) + Keeps a notebook separate from their poetry, meant for deep thoughts, connecting thoughts and ideas, and inspiration + Photoshopped your head on a meme and sent it to you at 3am + Gets heartbroken 30 times a week by falling for people they look at + Has trust issues + Often unmotivated and disinterested + Feels like they have to adapt to every person they meet to be liked, so they’re often silent at first, figuring out how to mold themselves into the kind of person they need to be around you + Labeled themselves as nonbinary as soon as they were no longer under the strict rule of masculinity presented by their father + Wants to use they/them pronouns, but is too scared to ask. Feels like it’s a “burden” to ask people to go through the trouble of being thoughtful. They don’t want people thinking about them at all + Figuring things out takes them a little longer + Only comes out of their shell around people that are gentle and easy-going + They are tolerant and composed to balance their intense energy when it gets to be too much and needs people to do the same + Can not flirt if their life depended on it + Can be social but born a lone wolf + Only clingy when having the time of  their lives with you, trust you with their heart and soul, or realize they can help you drastically with something and wish to focus on their effort to help you + Need people to sense and feel where the lines between “seeming” and “being” blur and that can figure out who the person is behind the anonymous mask + There’s always some kind of mask to see through + Cognitive AF + Come across emotionless because it is hard to allow themselves to be seen as vulnerable by other people + They hide from their own self + Highly selective and self-aware + They find it hard to ask for help + It’s not all fun and laughs + They adore someone who will inspire confidence in them and the courage to be in the moment and embody their own complexities. Someone who takes them seriously enough but will also keep the conversation light and free-flowing. They will only crush their own walls if you literally allow them to go ahead and ask for the help they deserve + They want people who can allow them to escape and be an actual human anchor for their souls + They do not like to be forced when it comes to sharing what is important to them. They will only do that on their own time or not at all + They know the difference between who is a friend vs. who is a best friend vs. who is a mere acquaintance vs. who is a person they view romantically. These lines do not blur or cross + Once on that level, it’s like having a secret language of communication + Harsh with their words. They are not polite because their words happen outside of emotions + How they communicate with others often has nothing to do with how they’re feeling on the inside + Come across as senseless and illogical and absolutely nuts + Likes to say “I told you so” + Get in their head while you’re talking, so they sometimes have to pretend that they understood

[pml1225-blog]

4:(urbosa>)mipha>zelda(>revali>daruk)

Link is not really the most interesting character. No RPG protagonist is, because their sole purpose is to serve as an insert for the player. As such, some of the side characters have much more compelling stories and become much more memorable. Let’s take a look at two of them in Breath of the Wild.

Breath of the Wild’s story is a backstory of events that happened in the past, and it focuses on Zelda’s struggles to unlock her power to seal Ganon away. She is fiercely devoted to unlocking her inherited power, but when her training doesn’t pay off, she understandably gets frustrated. In the off-time from her training, she works on deciphering and engineering the Guardians, ancient mechanical spider-bots that she hopes to use in the fight against Ganon’s forces.

“At the current rate, we’ll soon know all we need to know about the Guardians and the Divine Beasts!”

“He always says, ‘Quit wasting your time playing at being a scholar!’ I’ve spent every day of my life dedicated to praying!”

Her father adamantly disapproves of this, insisting that she focuses on her training. This leaves Zelda feeling helpless and not in control, and when she goes to the final holy spring to pray, only to be met by silence once again, Ganon suddenly attacks. Zelda can’t do anything but stand by as she watches Link and the rest of her friends go fight the war she knows she can’t finish. When Calamity Ganon hijacks the Guardians and Divine Beasts with his ~evil essence~, killing the other champions and turning the army that she had worked so hard on against her, the defeat is complete and she breaks down. Throughout this ordeal, Link is by her side, but being the silent protagonist that he is, can only offer a meager lap for her to cry on in the rain. It is only when Link collapses from his injuries and exhaustion and a Guardian is about to lay waste to them both that she jumps in front of him and cries out, and unlocks her power, saving their lives. Power unlocked, but still thoroughly defeated, she arranges for Link and his sword to be safely stowed away for 100 years, and goes off to Hyrule castle to hold off Ganon as best she can until Link reawakens.

well, that was easy.

Zelda’s story throughout the games has always been somewhat of a disappointing one, because the games, despite their titles, center around Link. In past games, Zelda always plays a secondary role in Link’s quest, and her involvement and agency in the story ranges from just being asleep for the entirety of Zelda II to Ocarina of Time, where she semi-orchestrates the entire plot from behind the scenes, setting up things so Link can save the day. When Zelda plays an active role in the stories, it is almost always as an alter ego – either as Sheik in Ocarina of Time or as Tetra the pirate in Wind Waker. The Zelda/Tetra distinction is especially interesting and particularly glaring because Tetra is a badass and a primary mover of the plot for the first half of the story, but is unaware of her heritage as Princess Zelda. When she is informed of her ancestry, she goes full princess mode and is relegated to being asleep in a dungeon and firing arrows at Link for him to reflect at Ganon. In the next game (Phantom Hourglass), she readopts her Tetra personality, but her story is very much that of a damsel in distress, which came as a disappointment to fans yearning for more.

By telling Zelda’s story in the past while letting the player finish Link’s story, Nintendo cleverly maneuvered around the problem of having Zelda, who is technically the title character, always being the secondary character. Her story is quite compelling and relatable, seeing how her attempts to balance the burden of unlocking her power with her knack and interest in research and essentially the Hyrulian version of engineering. The way she, as psychoanalyzed by one of the Champions, views Link’s steadfast dedication to his set path as a constant reminder of her own failure paints a convincingly conflicted character, stuck between a rock and a hard place. However, Nintendo fails to bring her story to a fully satisfying conclusion. In the end, her efforts to tame the Guardians are useless and actually lead to her defeat, and she unlocks her power not through her own dedication to her training, but rather her desire to protect Link. This girl climbed three (3) mountains for that shit! Eventually, when she can’t hold Ganon back any further, she calls out to Link to help, and that’s when the game begins. In the final post-game cutscene, Zelda expresses her desire to explore all of Hyrule and continue learning about their ancestors while helping the people, so she does get to do what she wants, but it is still a happy ending that is given to her by Link and the player. In a game where the primary gameplay philosophy is “you can literally do whatever you want”, Zelda’s story where she can’t escape her destiny and the wishes of her father and ancestors leaves a bitter irony. However, her character that is portrayed still shines through the miserable lot in life she was given, as her scenes show her as a real character with real motivations that players will want to root for. Just not a primary character.

That’s not to say that Nintendo is incapable of telling non-Link stories in the context of the Legend of Zelda. The stories of the characters Link meets throughout his journey are often quite compelling and imbued with feeling, and even through the brief interactions the player has, they really contribute to the overall vibe of the games. Breath of the Wild ups the ante by introducing 4 other secondary characters – the Champions. Of the four, Mipha’s character stood out to me, especially since her reception among the fanbase seemed to be extremely divided. Most of her critics claim that “her only character trait is liking Link”, and while, admittedly, much of her character arc revolves around her love for Link, it is told in a way that provides agency and weight to her decisions. Mipha is a childhood friend of Link’s, and as adults/teenagers, she often tends to his wounds with her healing powers. When their respective duties as Champions require them to travel separately and pair Link with Zelda, she is understandably jealous, but keeps it to herself in order to not jeopardize their group’s mission. Instead of being passive, however, she still expresses her wishes to spend more time with Link when their mission is fulfilled, and vows to stick by his side and protect him with all of her power. She also harbors no ill will towards Zelda, instead offering her advice on how to unlock her power by describing how she thinks of someone she cares about (Link) when healing (which somehow ends up being the key to unlocking Zelda’s power even though she’s not the one with a crush on Link ugh).

“We just don’t seem to know much about what we’ll be up against. But know this: that no matter how difficult this battle may get, if you - if anyone ever tries to do you harm, the I will heal you. No matter when, or how bad the wound, I hope you know that I will always protect you. Once this whole thing is over, maybe things can go back to how they used to be when we were young. You know...perhaps we could spend some time together.”

Though she falls to Ganon along with the remaining champions, the extent of her feelings towards Link is revealed during the game. The Zora, her race of fish-people, initially distrust Link because they believe that he took Mipha away from them and failed to protect her from Ganon. After her father reveals the truth that Mipha loved Link and desired to protect him along with the rest of Hyrule, however, the elders turn to begrudgingly placing their faith in Link based on their trust of Mipha’s judgement. This is symbolized by the armor that Mipha crafted for Link, which in Zora culture is something similar to a proposal. The armor is instrumental to Link’s success, and when he frees Mipha’s soul from Ganon’s grasp, she expresses her gratitude and feelings and passes on her healing powers to Link so she can continue to look over him from the afterlife. In this way, Mipha’s story, though a trite one of impossible childhood love, is more satisfying than Zelda’s. Many of her actions are dependent on her love for Link, sure, but they are logical and are met with logical results. Her happy ending is a direct result of her own actions and character (other than the part where Link still has to free her soul from Ganon, but he has to do that for everyone). The player is reminded of this every time they don the armor she made for Link or get merked by some dumb shit and are revived by her power. The difference between Zelda’s and the Champions’ stories can be seen by how fans responded. When the DLC came out promising more backstory on the Champions, fans were excited and rumors even circulated that you would be able to play as Mipha and the others. Though the DLC eventually fell way short of these expectations, providing little more backstory than “Mipha is kind to everyone”, the prospect that people wanted to play as her indicates that people wanted to experience more of her character beyond her devotion towards Link, something which you can’t exactly say for Zelda. I hope that Nintendo will continue to tell compelling and satisfying stories that aren’t solely based on a male lead, but perhaps the traditional Legend of Zelda story isn’t fit for this. Maybe Metroid?

[mastersvisualjournalmclain]

Hall of Shadows Critical Review Report

Hall of Shadows: An exploration of Australian war crimes and missing information

“I am not going to pass any judgment on the policy of devastating the country. I obey orders, and perhaps it is a wise plan.” 

-RL Wallace, The Australians at the Boer War

WHAT:

Hall of Shadows is a mixed media exploration of war crimes by Australians during conflicts in Afghanistan as detailed by The Brereton Report, an extensively redacted investigation into the deaths of civilians and prisoners. Utilising wet plate collodion tintypes and printed materials taken from digital media, Hall of Shadows focuses on creating a visual mirror to our society to see the far-reaching human cost of these war crimes. The work is about reflecting upon the special operations soldiers who committed the crimes, the political and civil authorities who placed them in these situations on behalf of the civilian population and the media who report on the crimes and the report itself.

The work consists of a grid of 15 wet plate collodion tintype still lifes of toy soldiers in miniature dioramas constructed of wooden blocks, along with four A1 sized newsprint banners in various states of use and disrepair. The tintypes are an echo of, and inspired by, the Hall of Memory at the Australian War Memorial in Canberra, which houses 15 stained glass windows, each with a word that is a quality of Australians at war. The form of the banners was influenced by Chinese hanging scrolls, intended for short-term news and propaganda dissemination. The materiality, plasticity, texture, and imperfections of the toy soldiers I had used as subjects in creating the still lifes for my wet plates was underscored to draw the viewer's attention to in the banners. The banners are images taken directly from the pages of the heavily redacted report overlaid with pictures of plastic toy soldiers.

Both works are meant to evoke reflection in viewers. Where the original stained glass windows are lushly coloured and use a Deco font, the tintypes are monochrome and the words scratched into the surface of the metal. The banners are printed on flimsy, disposable newsprint, and with much of the text unreadable.

WHY:

Australia has an ambivalent relationship with military engagement. The Department of Veteran Affairs (DVA) estimates that approximately 2% of the population are veterans, yet there appears to be a disproportionate emphasis, even a reverence, for military action in popular culture. The large sections of military history and accounts which glamourise the military found in books stores reveals something about the popularity and hunger for information about this segment of our society. But much like sports figures whose poor or inappropriate behaviour is overlooked or excused, soldiers and military action are often elevated to positions above critique or reflection or only examined on Anzac Day then forgotten until the next year.

This work was created in hope of raising some questions for the viewer:

Who am I in relationship to these people and events?

How does my image of this history correspond to lived realities?

What agency, if any do I have relative to these events?

Factors that emerged during the creation of the work included the fact that the greater the temporal distance became between the report’s release (November 2020) and the present, the more of a collective and communal shrug there seemed to be about these crimes and any consequences for those who committed them. This seeming public lack of interest led towards processes and materials that were disposable, recyclable, non-permanent and dismissible, just as the acts which were the genesis of the report and the public response to it appeared to be a part of an ever-churning news cycle. The work was created to be both fixed in history with elements of discard and disposability.

WHO: 

This work occurs and is informed by a number of photographic, artistic, military and societal communities. Photographically, a historical process is employed in the tintypes and more modern, digital-descended processes for the scrolls. The incorporation of text to both sets of images is relative to the work of Duane Michals, while wet plate photography has been employed extensively by Sally Mann. The use of miniature diorama and tableaus akin to David Levinthal’s work using toy soldiers and dolls was an important example of how applying good technical skills to small subjects can heighten the impact of images. His series Hitler Moves East is a slightly  more abstracted work emulating black and white war photographs contemporary to the historical period of 1939-1945.

Returning to the work of Hiroshi Sugimoto and his photographs of diorama’s in museums also proved inspirationally fruitful. Sugimoto’s concept of photographing a faux re-creation of a time, place and event, had significant overlap and relationship to the work in creating the miniature dioramas as backgrounds I was staging seemed particularly relevant to my investigations. Of particular interest and insight is Sugimoto’s observation that “However fake the subject, once photographed, it’s as good as real.” 

Roy Lichtenstein’s pop art, particularly, his work Whaam! seemed to share a print-pixelated, quasi-comic book quality the the scrolls/banners.  While it initially felt that a connection might exist to the disposable aspect of Lichtenstein’s work, these images seemed less satisfying at communicating more realistic figures of the toy soldiers. The hope for more identification with soldier’s as the subject, rather than objectification simply wasn’t achieved, and so a more realist approach was adopted. (Note: the Lichtenstein Foundation’s website seems abandoned at this point and is available only through internet archives. I include his citation in Wikipedia for reference purposes.

Liz Wells observations about the truth or non-truth and historical uses of photography in commenting upon war continued to be a touchstone. Especially her observation about the uses of  photography in establishing and reinforcing communal sentiments about war.  “[T]here are no unequivocally great photographs of war, only those that structure or re-enforce feelings already extant within a particular culture.”

Additionally, the work of Alexander Rodchenko was examined, particularly the shift in his work from documentary photography to its use as propaganda. Rodchenko had good  reason to make this turn: survival. As  the young Soviet state went from photographic and cinematic playground to a more authoritarian state, photographers found ways to either praise Stalin and the new state or perish. In my work I was seeking to neither laud soldiers nor condemn them, but rather, hold up a mirror to the viewer to examine their own conceptions, pre-conceptions and mis-conceptions  about military action and those who carry out the policies of the state, especially in ambiguous environments.

How:

The work was realised through a close reading of the available documents, reflection on my own experience in the Afghanistan theatre of operations, and testing with select trusted voices about the efficacy of whether intended messages were being communicated. This last was a necessary counter-balance to a body of work that was grounded deeply in personal experience. The challenge in this path is getting lost in a personal echo chamber where what seems obvious to the creator is completely unreadable to the viewer. Listening to my supervisor, peers and close friend’s readings of the work was exceptionally helpful in maintaining this balance.

With regard to the wet plates, arranging and mounting the images as a call/response to the sacred and mythological tones of the stained glass windows in Canberra was done as a means to open a door to reflection about their own position relative to military engagement. The limitations and ‘defects’ inherent in wet plates was also a desired element of the work. Just as no plate can be clinically ‘perfect,’ so no military action is without casualties. 

The later-developed hanging scroll banners afforded an opportunity to use their materiality as fragile, disposable objects that, in their physical structure, reflected the ephemerality of the impact of the news cycle on our collective attention span. This, in turn, allowed for them to develop as a seperate, unified work on their own, standing along side, but different from the wet plate works.

  Best practices for health and safety, including mental well-being, were followed throughout the creation of the work. 

Test/Speculative Images:    

Finalised plate samples, prior to mounting & framing:     

  Bibliography

Batchen, Geoffrey. (2004.) Forget Me Not: Photography & Remembrance. 1st ed., New York: Princeton Architectural Press.

Laurent, Olivier. (June 15, 2015.) “A Photographer Turns Real-Life Soldiers Into Toys.” Time. Accessed March 10, 2021. time.com/3911329/a-photographer-turns-real-life-soldiers-into-toys/.

Levinthal, David. (1972-75.) “Hitler Moves East.” David Levinthal. Accessed May 28, 2021. davidlevinthal.com/artwork/hme.html.

Sugimoto, Hiroshi. (1994.) “Diorama.” Hiroshi Sugimoto. Accessed May 28, 2021. www.sugimotohiroshi.com/new-page-54.

Wells, Liz. (2015.) Photography: A Critical Introduction. 5th ed., New York: Routledge.

Wikipedia. (2004.) Hanging Scroll. Accessed May 30, 2021. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanging_scroll.

Wikipedia. (2002.) Roy Lichtenstein. Accessed May 28, 2021. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Lichtenstein.

Young, Marnin. (2016.) “Photography and the Philosophy of Time: On Gustave Le Grays Great Wave, Ste.” nonesite.org. Accessed March 18, 2021. https://nonsite.org/photography-and-the-philosophy-of-time/.

Zax, Talya. (2021.) “How Freedom Turned to Propaganda in Soviet Photography.” The Forward. Accessed May 28, 2021. forward.com/culture/322220/how-the-soviet-union-used-photography-as-propoganda/.

[randomthingsthatilike1]

Was talking with @tomas-abe​ about this--have you ever thought of a supergirl leverage au?

Honestly, I’ve talked so much about how Kara isn’t a horrible liar—she’s a phenomenal liar. She makes everyone think she’s a bumbling, harmless, ordinary, average human—her kindness isn’t a lie, but as we’ve seen with RedK—it is a choice. And we’ve seen her with Clark— “you really have the clumsy thing down.” But for Clark that was real. For Kara, it’s an act. She’s the heir to a house renowned throughout the galaxy for its scientists—and she was about to become the youngest person in Krypton’s history to enter the science guild. But she was told over and over and over to be ordinary, average, unremarkable—to hide herself, hide anything that marks her as alien. She’s a genius in a room full of preschoolers who are just now learning concepts that she’s understood since before she could walk—of course she’s bored with earth science.

Supergirl isn’t a lie, but it’s not quite the truth either—and neither is Kara Danvers. Both are part of her, but at the same time they’re both personas that she embodies and can step into almost at the drop of a hat—they are constructed and built. And yes, when outright confronted, she is a horrible bluff—she can’t do it. But almost everyone forgets or glosses over how much pain Kara must always be in, the anger she carries inside of her of being the very last, of being sent away, of being alone. They forget that she is not simply a human with powers but forever and always Kryptonian with powers—like how everyone thinks of Clark, like we’ve seen in Myriad how even Clark thinks of himself, Kara never thinks of herself as human. She has a different language and values and culture and religion and she fools everyone into thinking that she’s just like them(for more about this, here’s the post I made that’s a lot more comprehensive). That isn’t Kara’s stage. This kind of complicated and woven falsehood is her stage. Sound like anyone?

Kara would totally be a grifter. Especially a Kara who wasn’t found by Clark, who wasn’t found by the Danvers—this is Kara without a purpose, who sees her cousin flying over Metropolis with the house of El’s Crest on his chest and doesn’t need her. She has nothing to live for—so she wanders, constantly pretending to be someone else and she gets good at it. She has a soft spot for swindling people who violate environmental laws because it’s easier—and never goes after anyone who doesn’t deserve it. That doesn’t mean it’s necessarily legal. She’s also got a soft spot for art—it’s marvelous, in a way even Krypton never was. And grifting is something that makes her feel alive, covering up for just a little bit the gaping hole in her heart where Krypton used to be. And really, she doesn’t have very many ties, or attachments—she travels light, easily able to switch identities and leave at the drop of a hat. There’s this undercurrent of sadness in all of her identities, even with the happiest of her personas—which just makes her a mystery and all the more magnetic to the people she’s trying to con—she’s able to seem so damn genuine and sincere it’s addicting.

Not to mention someone who can easily see everyone’s tells because of advance senses, hear their heartbeat and see infinitesimal twitches and expressions that pass in a millisecond—she didn’t visibly use her powers as Cat’s assistant, but she still kept the job for 2 years before using super speed or strength—and that was because of how well she could read Cat, who went through probably hundreds of assistants before finding Kara. That would be essential for a grifter. Plus, we know that she learned English in less than a week. An entire language in just a handful of days—being able to learn regional dialect and adopt accents and

She goes by so many aliases, trying to run away from the memory of krypton. But her current alias? Kiera. Kiera Deveraux.

Kara woke up alone on Earth and saw her no longer baby cousin with their family crest on his chest doing perfectly fine—he’s grown, he doesn’t need her. How would he even know about Kara in the first place, or any of it? Kara’s been doing this since she was 13, and now she’s probably 30 something, maybe 32. We’ve had Clark even say—Kryptonians age very slowly. She still looks like she’s in her early 20’s. She doesn’t seem to age maybe that makes her even more legendary but she likes to use make up to make her look older because that truly fucks with people, although she never goes after bad people.

One thing that is truly different from Krypton, and not in a bad way, or a lesser way, is the way humans create art—she loves art. And it’s something that she bonds over with their thief.

As for who’s Nate, the alcoholic whose young son died because of corporate greed, the mastermind who thinks of every contingency and almost obsessively observes and analyzes? Why, that’s none other than Cat Grant. Cat Grant

Cat, who was a war correspondent for the Daily Planet but god that was so much danger, maybe too much when she finds out she’s pregnant with Carter—she wanted a break from them and she made a split-second decision. She’s still planning on creating CatCo, but that takes money. And she’s not asking her mother for it. Journalism doesn’t pay all that much frankly—and she gets a commission off of the things that she recovers.

But she spends every single cent she saved up for CatCo paying for medical bills for her son. She has so many regrets in her life—this isn’t one of them.

She hasn’t talked to her ex in months—M’gann as Maggie, much more adjusted, still hurting but not self-destructing and spiraling like Cat is. They met when Cat was pregnant, Carter the result of an impulsive and kind of crappy one-night stand that she has no desire to track down. This is a Cat who knows about aliens maybe, a bit more discreet. Except—M’gann maybe isn’t the most-adjusted because hospital bills are expensive, and Carter may not be biologically hers but he was still her son too and she would have done anything to help pay for those medical bills—including illegal and shady alien fight rings to help pay for medical bills, almost killing herself in the process. The week Carter died M’gann could barely even walk.

It’s why Cat never told M’gann about the experimental treatment she found. There was nothing her wife could have done.

By the time the series starts she’s definitely drinking her life away, and divorced from her ex.

So—I’m guessing it’s not much of a surprise to say that Alex is the hitter. This is Alex without growing up as Kara’s little sister, without losing her father. Without the pressure of being an older sibling to a special needs child being raised by a single mother—without the worry that if Kara was found to be special needs she would die, because if anyone other than the DEO (and trust me, intelligence agencies are notorious for being petty and not sharing information. They probably keep it to themselves) finds out about Kara she will be taken apart molecule by molecule. This is an Eliza who has Jeremiah to temper her, and a hell of a lot less stress. Alex probably has the most stable childhood and came out of it with minimal scarring.

Sure, maybe the DEO came knocking but this is the Danvers family with nothing to lose—they could threaten Alex, but the Danvers can threaten to expose the DEO. In canon, it would be mutually assured destruction with the Danvers exposing the DEO and the DEO likewise exposing Kara. Not the case here. Once the DEO came sniffing Jeremiah and Eliza enrolled Alex in a shit ton of martial arts class. And just remember, Alex was a surfer—her balance is phenomenal to start with. She has years of training in childhood to get a leg up, and she gets into competitions in college—Alex is always competitive, always a need to strive and be the best, especially since she lives a childhood without Kara. She hasn’t found out quite yet that there are more important things than being the star.

This is Alex without intense depression, guilt, anxiety, and massive responsibility on her shoulders—Alex parties sure, but not a supreme or unhealthy amount. She’s able to finish her post grad studies and med school almost faster than the time that it takes for people to get their undergrad degree, her parents supporting her decisions and hoping their daughter follows in their footsteps. But it’s not quite that simple.

Intelligence agencies frequently recruit from elite colleges. Alex changed so much when she made the decision to be Kara's protector—she’s a different person, one who maybe feels a bit purposeless, and wants to serve. It definitely causes a wedge between her and her parents. They don’t want that life for her, they want her to become a doctor and a scientist and to be safe. But Alex has never wanted to be safe, just extraordinary. It causes a falling out between them. She definitely is a field agent, and probably did some pretty shifty things. And then went to work for Damien Moreau.

Wow, did that get fucked up. She becomes the retrieval specialist/hitter.

In every world, it is Kara who brings out Alex Danvers' protective spirit. Even this version of Kara who is warier and a little less openly heroic—she sees danger or someone getting hurt around her and of course she helps, but not in the same flashy way as before. Alex looks at her and thinks "this dork needs to be protected." And in every universe Alex becomes protective of Kara, and at first it’s because Kara is so damn seemingly hesitant and gentle and clumsy, and doesn't know it's bc Kara is always trying not to hurt someone

But God later, later it's so Kara will never accidentally kill someone and then, when she finds out that Kara is this way because of her super strength, she becomes all the more protective when she finds out it’s because Kara doesn’t want to accidentally kill someone. When she learns the truth it actually makes Alex want to protect her even more. But like, emotionally. Like "this gentle thoughtful alien has to worry about being gentle always so you better not startle her you asshole"

But surprisingly out of all of them Alex probably has the least traumatizing childhood tbh. Post childhood is a different story.  all that shit, she has a skillset already. Instead of acting, she’s terrorizing undergrads as a professor—she does have a PhD. She’s not Elliot, she doesn’t need food and something useful to do with her knives like he does. She has an MD and can practice medicine but she never really did a residency anywhere—plenty of field experience though. She’s been trying to the whole teaching thing for like the past year.

And when they all get together for their first job, and even after it all goes sideways Kara still doesn't really trust these people so no way was she revealing that she could probably be more effective than most hitters. So when Cat gets the crew to stay together she's like “this can be dangerous so I'm getting us a hitter,” Kara stays silent. Cat and Alex knew each other for a long time when cat was finishing her time as a war correspondent Alex was just getting her start. You know how they find Sophie at a theater? They find Alex at a lab, since she wasn't hired for that con they didn’t get a hitter they got a grifter instead—Kara.

Nate and Sophie knew each other ahead of time, but in this story? It’s Alex and Cat. Kara isn’t Sophie, she wouldn’t try and walk on the straight and narrow by being an actor—that’s not what she wants. But Alex? Alex has a PhD. Alex has been trying to teach college kids for the past year as a professor, but before that, on her very first job? Involved a run in with a certain war correspondent—Cat Grant. They kept in touch and now the gang needs a hitter unrelated to them and oh Cat has the perfect candidate.

Also, if in every universe Kara brings out Alex's protective side? in every universe, Kara would expose herself for Alex and save her plane from crashing. There was that time the plane blew up, and maybe they couldn’t stop it—Kara isn’t going to let everyone she cares about die. Not again. She reveals herself for the first time since she landed on Earth—and that’s when things start to get interesting.

And next: their thief: the one and only Lucy Lane. Her mom signs her up for both dance (primarily ballet--but really the type of dance can change depending on what’s close to the base they’re on and which dance classes the country they’re in offers)—and gymnastics from a young age. We’ve heard plenty of General Sam Lane, and we know that he’s both Lucy’s father and Lois’s—along with the fact that Lois and Lucy have an age difference, and they’re not close. But what we know absolutely nothing about? Lucy’s mother. Because I kind of hc that Lucy spent a lot of time abroad going from base to base growing up. And maybe something happening to her mother, also when she was young. Now, there’s just one question: what happened to her?

So. There are a few options. Maybe she was sick. Maybe one of her dad’s enemies happened—either one he made domestically, or internationally. You don’t get to be a general without coming out enemy free. Especially from someone like Sam Lane. This is a man who has absolutely no compunction about torturing someone, who’s xenophobic as fuck and we’ve seen with James is pretty damn racist as well (and most likely homophobic tbh)—and Jenna Dewan Tatum is Lebanese. So I def hc Lucy as Lebanese, and Lois has a different mother (and yeah, you can totally be racist if you’re married to someone who isn’t white). He very well could have done something to Lucy’s mother. Or maybe even she just left—it’s not easy being Sam Lane’s wife.

If it was her dad's fault there's a very good chance he goes weeks without talking to her and maybe that’s the first time she stole. It’s been 3 weeks forgot to leave little Lucy money for takeout or groceries and she’s all by herself, recently moved to a new country so no one knows her, Lois gone, she doesn't know how to talk to her sister, and this is before cell phones and she definitely doesn’t have an email, and esp w international communication there's no skype. In one universe she decides against it, collapses on the floor where her father finds her and has a massive freak out, internally promising to change his behavior and stop neglecting his daughter so much but in this one? This one she goes out and steals for the first time gets a taste for it.

It helps that there are so many asshole men in the military, there was that line about not wanting to work for old white men. As an adult, she doesn’t steal from anyone who can afford it, but as a kid she’s mostly just trying to get by with a neglectful father, picking victims at random but going for the ones who at least dress like they won’t miss the wallet too much. But maybe, when they’re back in the States for the first time in years, Lucy steals from the wrong person—and Archie does exist in this world as well. He takes her in, but not really--the same thing he does to Parker. He teaches Lucy, and she gets good fast.

Lucy’s 14, 15 when she leaves her father for good. It’s not the first time she runs away but it’s the first time she doesn’t come back, or the first time Sam can’t find her again. Because he’s now General Sam Lane, he has subordinates who would go and find her but this is when they're back in the US and they’re a bit more limited now. One day she just packs up a few things that she doesn’t want to leave behind and poof. Disappears. She’s not quite a master thief but damn she’s getting there. She kept up with ballet and gymnastics, Sam thinking that it would be good structure but jokes on him.

So much of the art Lucy steals was either created by old white men, or stolen by old white men. She later doesn’t feel bad about taking it. This is a Lucy who was always on her own, with so many questions, traveling from place to place and never really made friends so she doesn’t quite get people, not really.

So that just leaves the hacker: Lena. Her background would still be the same, adopted at 4, hated by Lillian, Lex a good big brother and loving and welcoming. And maybe Lena’s 12, maybe she was being teased a bit at her fancy boarding school for being too smart and pudgy and has really bad acne that won’t go away no matter how much Lillian pays dermatologists and Lillian wants her to wear contacts but she has glasses she really likes and is very publicly known to be adopted and is not at all heterosexual and is surrounded by pretty girls at school all the time, the poor baby gay.

Basically, the absolute worst things to be in middle school all in one girl. and Lex, her still darling older brother who loves his sister more than anything, tells her that she just needs to figure out how to be cool and is like you know what's cool? Motorcycles. He makes his baby sister be in full protection, but he’s just in his usual suit, not wearing even a helmet.

Lena was behind the wheel, Lex letting her drive and is right behind her. There was a crash and Lex insisted that Lena wear a helmet, but he didn’t. And Lena wakes up in the hospital, arm broken, a concussion, and her brother dead. Can you imagine how much Lillian would be on the warpath? She knows that Lillian doesn’t like her but this time she sincerely worries that Lillian will kill her for this. She’s sometimes worried about her safety but not really her life—not until now. So. She runs. Lena goes by her birth mother’s last name, not Luthor—that’s far too distinctive.

She gathers as much cash as she can. It’s not immediately, of course. It’s over a few weeks. She continually takes out slightly over average for the Luthor’s weekly allowed amount of money from her account, not too distinctive but paying in cash stops a lot of questions from ever being asked.

She’s definitely the youngest out of the bunch. But Lex taught her more than how to ride a motorcycle, he also taught her to hack until she was just as good as he was—maybe even better. That’s when she disappears. She's a kid but she knows how to hack her way into leaving hotel reservations and accounts--leaves a back door into Luthorcorp if she ever needs it. But she never uses it.

She doesn’t want to be traced or found, doesn’t want to be reminded of Lex, of what she fucked up. Lex was the golden boy who was saving the world, everyone loved Lex, Lena most of all. This isn’t the Lex who tried to kill her. Some signs of mental issues there, like not wearing any protection riding a motorcycle but nothing like trying to kill his baby sister, or xenophobia.

And damn, this is a world without Lex Luthor. Without his influence, or quite a few of his inventions, or any of his xenophobia but with so much more of Lillian’s hate and rage.

And God, she’s season one Parker level of uncomfortable when grifting. She can channel who she was expected to be as a Luthor, but that’s kind of the extent that she can do. She spent so much time alone, and she’s already awkward, to say the least, before her brother’s death. Lex was one of, if not the only, person who understood her.

Lena grew up a Luthor, and then was a hacker. She probably spent a lot of time in hotels, especially since she ran away so young, she tried her very best to avoid people but she knows how to look like she fits in to those fancy hotels thanks to years with the Luthors, she doesn’t look like a runaway but god she’s so bad with people, she tries avoiding them as much as possible and she’s so awkward looking as a kid and a teenager and it’s just when she meets the Leverage crew is she finally starting to grow into her looks—she’s not used to being hot tbh.

Also I’ve wondered, especially in later seasons, how the leverage gang got so many clients because even just word of mouth like they go all over the country and even the world—we saw that ep w Parker’s torn ACL that they go to Japan, and in the ep with the boy’s heart they were coming back from a con. There may very well be someone doing referrals. And that person here? Is Diana of Themyscira, art museum curator. After all, the leverage gang acquires so much art, they send it somewhere. And they trust Diana

It’s not just Diana, and it is a lot of word of mouth, but they probably have someone in a law office or courthouse or something who sends along cases/failed lawsuits and with Maggie? She’s always gonna be in the criminal justice system, but what if instead of a cop she became a lawyer? She sees the system fail people over and over and somehow hears about Leverage Team and starts sending people to them. And like, Maggie as a lawyer can still be kind of a daredevil! She's that lawyer that picks up hopeless cases and fights against big powerful people at the stand—think of season 1 of arrow Laurel Lance. Team Leverage has to rescue her from kidnappings and thugs sent to beat her up relatively often (except Maggie Sawyer knows how to defend herself thank you very much so they sometimes just have to do some clean-up or Lena some hacking to get back at the people threatening their friend)

And then there’s James and Winn—hello the show’s version of McSweeten and Taggert. So to start: James. Not every single major event in someone’s lives needs to be because of a world shattering story, like a sister who falls from the sky. Maybe it could be something simple, something you don’t even think about. there was a delay the day James was in metropolis, before he took that photo of Superman. Maybe there was a simple flat tire keeping him home-bound, or he stayed after a class to talk to a professor. Because that photo might be what got him a job at the Daily Planet and definitely a Pulitzer. Canon James described himself as just a kid with a camera, and let’s say Clark is like what, 22 when he debuted? Let’s make James about 4 years younger—around 18.

James double majored in both Peace and Justice alongside Photography, sold that photo of Superman for an absolute king’s ransom, and he drops out of school to be a full-time photographer. But that doesn’t happen here. Being good at looking at a scene and observing every single thing that happens is still a p good skill for an FBI agent honestly? could be something inconsequential. “An eye for detail" is what his instructor says when he's up for promotion into full-fledged agent. He’s always wanted to help people, be a guardian for others. This is how he does it. Knowing what to photograph for evidence, maybe how to case a place, or even as a cover? is a pretty good skillset for an FBI agent to have frankly.

And then there’s Winn. Consider this: if Cat doesn’t establish CatCo, then Winn wouldn’t work there. Winn is the son of the Toymaker, a child murderer. Winn wants absolutely nothing to do with his father, publicly renounces him and hasn’t ever visited him before. He joins the FBI hoping he can use the skills his father taught him to do good and to keep him on the straight and narrow and stop him from ever becoming like him. Maybe starts as a forensic computer analyst and works his way up.

This is the only pairing that I’ve decided on but James and Winn definitely get together and poor James, he’s been flirting with Winn for so long and Winn just doesn’t notice.

They’re a rag tag group of people, and the only ones of the 5 that go by their real last name are Alex and Cat. Lena doesn’t want the Luthors to find her, and Lucy doesn’t want her Lois or the General to find her—she barely remembers Lois, and what she does remember is someone who never really cared about her. And Kara wears personas like a wardrobe—she’s never told anyone her name before.

The four of them are all brought together for one con—but the con’s on them, although not for long. Mon-El (who’s human in this—guess what I do make the rules) really shouldn’t have tried to use Cat’s son. He doesn’t even know what hit him.

[asfeedin]

39 Call-to-Action Examples You Can’t Help But Click

Think about all the times you’ve signed up for things in your life. Did you once download Evernote? Dropbox? Spotify? Maybe you’ve even taken a class on General Assembly.

Each one of these signups is likely a result of an effective call-to-action (CTA).

Think about it: If you hadn’t been drawn in by the copy or design of the CTA, or been guided so eloquently through your sign-up process, you would probably use a lot fewer apps and websites than you do now.

It’s really important to guide your visitors through the buying journey using strategic CTAs.

What is a call to action (CTA)?

CTA stands for call to action, and it’s the part of a webpage, advertisement, or piece of content that encourages the audience to do something. In marketing, CTAs help a business convert a visitor, or reader into a lead for the sales team. CTAs can drive a variety of different actions depending on the content’s goal.

What a CTA Means in Marketing

As a marketer, CTAs are relevant because they encourage your audience to take action on a marketing campaign.

Ultimately, the goal of any marketing campaign is to guide your audience in the buyer’s journey so they eventually make a purchase.

However, each marketing campaign might have a different action for the audience to carry out because there are several tactics you can use to guide your audience in their journey.

Below are a few examples of the types of CTAs you might use in marketing:

Sign up.

In this type of CTA, the audience might be invited to sign up for a free trial, an online course, a future event, or even a software product. It all depends on the CTAs context on an ad or website.

Subscribe.

This CTA doesn’t commit a person to a purchase. Rather, it invites them to receive updates from the company. “Subscribe” CTAs are common to company blogs, for which the business wants to develop a readership.

Try for free.

Nearly every company website has a free trial offer today. Each of them are CTAs of this variety, and they allow people to demo a product before deciding if it’s worth the cost to them.

Get started.

This CTA can drive a variety of behaviors for a company, from a free trial to virtual reality experience.

Learn more.

Sometimes, all you want is to give your potential customers a little more information so they’re prepared to buy something. That’s what this CTA is for.

Join us.

Do you manage an online community. Is your product built on collaboration between users? You might find yourself placing “join us” CTA somewhere on your website.

Learn more about the purposes CTAs can serve in this blog post.

The above types of CTA all serve a designated purpose, but keep in mind the language they use can vary. And today, marketers everywhere have put some creative spins on their calls to action to generate the leads their businesses depend on.

To help you identify what’s effective and what’s not, we’ve listed out 31 examples of CTAs that totally rock. These call-to-action examples are broken out into three categories:

Simple and effective CTAs

CTAs with great call-to-action phrases

CTAs that balance multiple buttons on one page

Call to Action Examples

Evernote

Dropbox

OfficeVibe

Netflix

Square

Prezi

Full Bundle

Panthera

EPIC

Aquaspresso

QuickSprout

Grey Goose

Treehouse

OKCupid

Blogging.org

IMPACT Branding and Design

Huemor

Brooks Running

Humboldt County

Uber

Spotify

Ugmonk

Pinterest

Madewell

Instagram

Barkbox

t.c. pharma

General Assembly

charity: water

Hipmunk

MakeMyPersona

TeuxDeux

Betabrand

Fabletics

Ashley Stewart

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Slack

Nintendo

1. Evernote

CTA: Sign Up

“Remember Everything.” Visitors can immediately understand that message the moment they land on this page. The design on Evernote’s website makes it super simple for users to see quick benefits of using the app and how to actually sign up to use it. Plus, the green color of the main and secondary CTA buttons is the same green as the headline and the Evernote logo, all of which jump off the page.

2. Dropbox

CTA: Sign up for free

Dropbox has always embraced simple design with a lot of negative space. Even the graphics on their homepage are subtle and simple.

Thanks to that simple design and negative space, the blue “Sign up for free” call-to-action button stands out from everything else on the page. Since the CTA and the Dropbox logo are the same color, it’s easy for the visitor to interpret this CTA as “Sign up for Dropbox.” That’s one effective call-to-action.

3. OfficeVibe

CTA: Subscribe

Here’s a slide-in call-to-action that caught my attention from OfficeVibe. While scrolling through a post on their blog, a banner slid in from the bottom of the page with a call-to-action to subscribe to their blog. The best part? The copy on the slide-in told me I’d be getting tips about how to become a better manager — and the post it appeared on was a post about how to become a better manager. In other words, the offer was something I was already interested in.

Plus, I like how unobtrusive slide-in CTAs are — as opposed to what my colleague Rachel Sprung calls the “stop-everything-and-click-here-pop-up-CTA.” I find these CTAs offer a more lovable experience because they provide more information while still allowing me to continue reading the blog post.

4. Netflix

CTA: Join Free for a Month

One big fear users have before committing to sign up for something? That it’ll be a pain to cancel their subscription if they end up not liking it. Netflix nips that fear in the bud with the “Cancel anytime” copy right above the “Join Free for a Month” CTA. I’d venture a guess that reassurance alone has boosted signups. Also, you’ll notice again that the red color of the primary and secondary CTAs here match Netflix’s logo color.

5. Square

CTA: Get Started

To achieve effective CTA design, you need to consider more than just the button itself. It’s also super important to consider elements like background color, surrounding images, and surrounding text.

Mindful of these additional design components, the folks at Square used a single image to showcase the simplicity of using their product, where the hovering “Get Started” CTA awaits your click. If you look closely, the color of the credit card in the image and the color of the CTA button match, which helps the viewer connect the dots of what to expect if/when they click.

6. Prezi

CTA: Give Prezi a try

The folks at Prezi are also into the minimalist design look on their website. Other than the green dinosaur and the dark brown coffee, the only other color accompanying the predominantly black-and-white design is a bright blue — the same blue from their main logo. That bright blue is strategically placed on the homepage: the main “Give Prezi a try” CTA, and the secondary “Get Started” CTA, both of which take users to the same pricing page.

7. Full Bundle

CTA: Our Work

Full Bundle is another company that uses negative space to make their primary CTA pop. The white “Our Work” call-to-action stands out against the dark greys of the background. Their choice of CTA is strategic, too. Given that they primarily exist to build out clients’ online presences, it’s important for them to showcase their work — and that’s what most folks are going to their website for.

8. Panthera

CTA: Join

The folks at Panthera are looking for users who really care about wild cats around the world and want to join a group of people who feel the same way. To target those people in particular, we love how they use language that would speak to big cat-lovers: “Join the pride today.” The page itself is super simple: an on-page form with two, simple fields, and a button asking folks to (again) “Join.”

9. EPIC

CTA: Let’s start a new project together

The folks at the agency EPIC use their homepage primarily to showcase their work. When you arrive on the page, you’re greeted with animated videos showing some of the work they’ve done for clients, which rotate on a carousel. While there are plenty of other places users might click on their site — including their clients’ websites — the main call-to-action stands out and always contrasts with the video that’s playing in the background.

I love that it features friendly, inclusive language — “Let’s start a new project together” — which gives a hint to users looking for a creative partner that they’re an especially great team to work for.

10. Aquaspresso

CTA: Send Me Specials Now!

The whole point of a call-to-action is to direct your site visitors to a desired course of action — and the best CTAs do so in a way that’s helpful to their visitors. The folks at coffee company Aquaspresso really nailed that balance here with the pop-up CTA on their main blog page.

Here, the desired course of action is for their blog readers to check out what they’re actually selling (and hopefully buy from them). There are many ways they could have done this, including putting out a CTA that urges people to “Check out our most popular products!” or something very direct. But we love what they’ve done instead: Their CTA offers blog readers something much more helpful and subtle — an offer for “today’s specials” in exchange for the reader’s email address.

Adding that the specials are for today only is a great example of a psychological tactic called scarcity, which causes us to assign more value to things we think are scarce. The fear that today’s specials are better than tomorrow’s might make people want to fill it out and claim their offer while they can.

(The call-to-action above was created using HubSpot’s free conversion tool, Leadin. Click here to learn how to easily create CTAs like this one using Leadin.)

11. QuickSprout

CTA: Are you doing your SEO wrong? Enter your URL to find out

No one wants to be wrong. That’s why a call-to-action button like QuickSprout’s slide-in CTA on their blog is so clickworthy. It asks the reader, “Are you doing your SEO wrong?” Well, am I? All I have to do is enter my URL to find out — seems easy enough. It’s language like that that can really entice visitors to click through.

Plus, having the CTA slide in mid-blog post is a great tactic for catching readers before they bounce off the page. Traditionally, many blogs have CTAs at the very bottom of each blog post, but research shows most readers only get 60% of the way through an article. (Click here to learn how to add slide-in CTAs to your blog posts.)

12. Grey Goose

CTA: Discover a cocktail tailored to your taste

Here’s a fun, unique call-to-action that can get people clicking. Whereas site visitors might have expected to be directed to product pages or press releases from the homepage, a CTA to “Discover a Cocktail Tailored to Your Taste” is a pleasantly surprising ask. People love personalization, and this CTA kind of feels like an enticing game. The play button icon next to the copy gives a hint that visitors will be taken to a video so they have a better idea of what to expect when they click.

13. Treehouse

CTA: Claim Your Free Trial

A lot of company websites out there offer users the opportunity to start a free trial. But the CTA on Treehouse’s website doesn’t just say “Start a Free Trial”; it says “Claim Your Free Trial.”

The difference in wording may seem subtle, but think about how much more personal “Claim Your Free Trial” is. Plus, the word “claim” suggests it may not be available for long, giving users a sense of urgency to get that free trial while they can.

14. OKCupid

CTA: Continue

OKCupid’s CTA doesn’t seem that impressive at first glance, but its brilliance is in the small details.

The call-to-action button, which is bright green and stands out well on a dark blue background, says, “Continue.” The simplicity of this term gives hope that the signup process is short and casual. To me, this CTA feels more like I’m playing a fun game than filling out a boring form or committing to something that might make me nervous. And it’s all due to the copy.

15. Blogging.org

CTA: Countdown Clock

Nothing like a ticking timer to make someone want to take action. After spending a short amount of time on blogging.org’s homepage, new visitors are greeted with a pop-up CTA with a “limited time offer,” accompanied by a timer that counts down from two minutes.

As with Aquaspresso’s example in #10, this is a classic use of the psychological tactic called scarcity, which causes us to assign more value to things we think are scarce. Limiting the time someone has to fill out a form makes people want to fill it out and claim their offer while they can.

Curious, what happens when time runs out? So was I. Hilariously, nothing happens. The pop-up CTA remains on the page when the timer gets to zero.

16. IMPACT Branding & Design

CTA: What We Do

CTAs can feel really pushy and salesy (yes, that’s a word…) if the wrong language is used. I like IMPACT‘s educational approach, where they challenge visitors to learn what the company does before pushing them to take any further action. This call-to-action is especially intriguing to me because they don’t even use an action verb, yet they still manage to entice people to click.

17. Huemor

CTA: Launch (Do Not Press)

If you went to a website and saw a “Launch” CTA accompanied by the copy “Do Not Press” … what would you do? Let’s be honest: You’d be dying to press it. The use of harmless reverse psychology here is playful, which is very much in keeping with Huemor’s brand voice.

18. Brooks Running

CTA: Find out when we have more

How many times have you hotly pursued a product you love, only to discover it’s sold out? Well, as you might know, it’s no picnic for the seller either. But just because you’ve run out of an item doesn’t mean you should stop promoting it.

Brooks Running uses a clever call to action to ensure their customers don’t bounce from their website just because their favorite shoe is out of stock. In the screenshot below, you can see Brooks touting an awesome-looking shoe with the CTA, “Find out when we have more.” I love how this button turns bad news into an opportunity to retain customers. Without it, Brooks’ customers would likely forget about the shoe and look elsewhere.

When you click on the blue CTA button depicted below, Brooks directs you to a page with a simple code you can text the company. This code prompts Brooks to automatically alert the visitor when the shoe they want is available again.

19. Humboldt County

CTA: Follow the Magic

Humboldt County’s website is gorgeous on its own: It greets you with a full-screen video of shockingly beautiful footage. But what I really love is the unconventional call-to-action button placed in the bottom center, which features a bunny icon and the words “Follow the Magic.”

It enhances the sort of fantastical feel of the footage, making you feel like you’re about to step into a fairytale.

What’s more, once you click into that CTA, the website turns into a sort of choose-your-own-adventure game, which is a fun call-to-action path for users and encourages them to spend more time on the site.

20. Uber

CTA: Sign up to drive | Start riding with Uber

Uber’s looking for two, very distinct types of people to sign up on their website: riders and drivers. Both personas are looking for totally different things, and yet, the website ties them together really well with the large video playing in the background showing Uber riders and drivers having a good time in locations all over the world.

I love the copy of the driver CTA at the top, too: It doesn’t get much more straightforward than, “Make money driving your car.” Now that’s speaking people’s language.

21. Spotify

CTA: Go Premium | Play Free

As soon as you reach Spotify’s homepage, it’s pretty clear that their main goal is to attract customers who are willing to pay for a premium account, while the CTA for users to sign up for free is very much secondary.

It’s not just the headline that gives this away; it’s also the coloring of their CTA buttons. The “Go Premium” CTA is lime green, making it pop off the page, while the “Play Free” CTA is plain white and blends in with the rest of the copy on the page. This contrast ensures that visitors are drawn to the premium CTA.

22. Ugmonk

CTA: Send me the coupons | I’m not interested

Exit CTAs, also known as exit intent pop-ups, are different than normal pop-ups. They detect your users’ behavior and only appear when it seems as though they’re about to leave your site. By intervening in a timely way, these pop-ups serve as a fantastic way of getting your reader’s attention while offering them a reason to stay.

Ugmonk has a great exit CTA, offering two options for users as a final plea before they leave the site. First, they offer a 15% discount on their products, followed by two options: “Yes Please: Send me the coupon” and “No Thanks: I’m not interested.” It’s super helpful that each CTA clarifies what “Yes” and “No” actually mean, and I also like that they didn’t use guilt-tripping language like “No Thanks: I hate nature” like I’ve seen on other websites. Finally, notice that the “Yes Please” button is much brighter and inviting in color than the other option.

23. Pinterest

CTA: Continue with Facebook | Sign Up

Want to sign up for Pinterest? You have a couple of options: sign up via Facebook or via email. If you have a Facebook account, Pinterest wants you to do that first. How do I know? Aesthetically, I know because the blue Facebook CTA comes first and is much more prominent, colorful, and recognizable due to the branded logo and color. Logically, I know because if you log in through Facebook, Pinterest can pull in Facebook’s API data and get more information about you than if you log in through your email address.

Although this homepage is optimized to bring in new members, you’ll notice a very subtle CTA for folks with Pinterest accounts to log in on the top right.

24. Madewell

CTA: Take me there | What’s next?

Madewell (owned by J.Crew) has always had standout website design, taking what could be a typical ecommerce website to the next level. Their use of CTAs on their homepage is no exception.

When you first arrive on the page, you’re greeted with the headline “I’m Looking For …” followed by a category, like “Clothes That’ll Travel Anywhere.” Below this copy are two options: “Yes, Take Me There” or “Hmm… What’s Next?” The user can choose between the two CTAs to either browse clothes that are good for travel, or be taken to the next type of clothing, where they can play again.

This gamification is a great way to make your site more interesting for users who come across it without having a specific idea of where they want to look.

25. Instagram

CTA: Download on the App Store | Get it on Google Play

Since Instagram is a mainly mobile app, you’ll see two black CTAs of equal size: one to download Instagram in Apple’s App Store, and another to download it on Google Play. The reason these CTAs are of equal caliber is because it doesn’t matter if someone downloads the app in the App Store or on Google Play … a download is a download, which is exactly what Instagram is optimizing for. If you already have Instagram, you can also click the CTA to “Log In” if you’d prefer that option, too.

26. Barkbox

CTA: Get Started | Give a Gift

The two CTAs on Barkbox’s homepage show that the team there knows their customers: While many people visiting their site are signing up for themselves, there are a lot of people out there who want to give Barkbox as a gift. To give those people an easy path to purchase, there are two, equally sized CTAs on the page: “Get Started” and “Give a Gift.”

As an added bonus, there’s an adorable, pop-up call-to-action on the right-hand side of the screen prompting users to leave a message if they’d like. Click into it, and a small dialogue box pops up that reads, “Woof! I’m afraid our pack is not online. Please leave us a message and we’ll bark at you as soon as pawsible.” Talk about delightful copy.

27. t.c. pharma

CTA: Find out more | View products

Turns out Red Bull isn’t its own parent company: It’s owned by Thailand-based t.c. pharma, a company that makes popular energy drinks, electrolyte beverages, and functional drinks and snacks.

Its homepage features two call-to-action buttons of equal size: “Find out more” and “View products” — but it’s clear by the bright yellow color of the first button that they’d rather direct folks to “Find out more.”

28. General Assembly

CTA: View Full-Time Courses | Subscribe

As you scroll through the General Assembly website, you’ll see CTAs for various courses you may or may not want to sign up for. I’d like to point your attention to the CTA that slides in from the bottom of the page as you’re scrolling, though, which suggests that you subscribe to email updates.

Although this feels like a secondary CTA due to its location and manner, I actually think they try to sneak this in to become more of a primary CTA because it’s so much more colorful and noticeable than the CTAs for individual classes. When you create your own CTAs, try using bolder colors — even ones that clash with your regular stylings — to see if it’s effective at getting people’s attention. (Click here for a tutorial on how to add slide-in CTAs to your webpages.)

29. charity: water

CTA: Give by Credit Card | Give by PayPal

Charity: water’s main goal is to get people to donate money for clean water — but they can’t assume that everyone wants to pay the same way.

The CTAs featured on their homepage take a really unique approach to offering up different payment methods by pre-filling $60 into a single line form and including two equally important CTAs to pay via credit card or PayPal. Notice how both CTAs are the same size and design — this is because charity: water likely doesn’t care how you donate, as long as you’re donating.

30. Hipmunk

CTA: Flights | Hotels | Cars | Packages

When you land on the Hipmunk site, your main option is to search flights. But notice there are four tabs you can flip through: flights, hotels, cars, and packages.

When you click into one of these options, the form changes so you can fill out more information. To be 100% sure you know what you’re searching for, Hipmunk placed a bright orange CTA at the far right-hand side of the form. On this CTA, you’ll see a recognizable icon of a plane next to the word “Search,” so you know for sure that you’re searching for flights, not hotels. When you’re on the hotels tab, that icon changes to a hotel icon. Same goes with cars and packages.

31. MakeMyPersona

CTA: Grab the template! | No thanks

Here’s another example of a great pop-up with multiple calls-to-action — except in this case, you’ll notice the size, color, and design of the users’ two options are very different from one another. In this case, the folks at MakeMyPersona are making the “Grab the template!” CTA much more attractive and clickable than the “No, I’m OK for now, thanks” CTA — which doesn’t even look like a clickable button.

I also like how the “no” option uses polite language. I find brands that don’t guilt-trip users who don’t want to take action to be much, much more lovable.

32. TeuxDeux

CTA: Get Started for Free | Try for Free

Another example of simplistic design, TeuxDeux’s main website features one phrase and two CTA buttons.

That’s it.

Using the company’s colors, the background is just a splash of red and some black.

The CTA buttons stand out against the color and emphasize that you can try the product for free.

I like these CTAs because they show that the company understands its audience. Whenever I’m researching to-do list apps, I always want to try it before I buy it. It’s something that people are very particular about and want to test-drive. TeuxDeux’s CTAs shows that they understand this about their audience.

33. Betabrand

CTA: Get involved

Betabrand is a clothing company that sells yoga/dress pants for women. Usually, clothing brands tend to use similar CTAs such as “Shop Now.”

However, Betabrand’s homepage CTA is unique in that it involves the audience. Here, users can vote and impact the design of new products.

This is a fun way to get the audience involved and do something different.

34. Fabletics

CTA: Limited Edition

This Fabletics CTA uses several marketing tactics: scarcity and a holiday.

On the homepage, the brand announces a limited edition collection that’s tied to a holiday (Mother’s Day).

Additionally, the CTA uses a bright color so the CTA stands out on the simple homepage.

35. Ashley Stewart

CTA: Shop the Lookbook

Ashley Stewart is a clothing brand catered to plus-sized women. In this CTA, the company uses a fun design to entice website visitors. The entire collage of images looks like a behind-the-scenes camera roll, which is interesting to look at.

Additionally, the CTA copy is straight to the point, which is helpful for visitors who are looking to browse.

36. Amazon Music

CTA: 3 months free

This is a great example of several of the elements we’ve talked about in one CTA.

Amazon uses two strategically placed CTAs, colorful, yet simple design, and offers the product for free.

With this CTA, Amazon is promoting one of its own products and services on its homepage instead of other products listed for sale on the site.

The only message they want to get across? That you can try their product, Amazon Music, for free for three whole months. This CTA accomplishes that goal with a simple design.

37. Barnes and Noble

CTA: Shop Now

Barnes and Noble uses a simple CTA to entice visitors to shop a limited collection during the Mother’s Day holiday.

I like this CTA because the landing page design is so cohesive with the branding of the overall company.

Additionally, the graphics and the fonts are all interesting and match the brand’s messaging.

38. Slack

CTA: Learn More | Contact Us

Slack uses beautiful, simple design on its homepage to entice visitors to click on one of the two CTA buttons.

I like this example because Slack has two CTA buttons for two different audiences. If you’re just getting started in your research, you can click “Learn More.” However, if you’re a repeat visitor and know that you want to talk to a sales person, you can click “Contact Us.”

This is a great example of serving two audiences with your CTAs on your homepage.

39. Nintendo

CTA: Compare Features

On Nintendo���s website, the company is focused on answering any questions a visitor might have.

In fact, one of the main CTAs is “Compare Features.” With this CTA, Nintendo answers one of their most popular questions because they understand that many visitors are still doing their research before purchasing a product.

There you have it. By now, we hope you can see just how important little CTA tweaks can be.

Full Disclosure: We don’t have data to know if these are all scientifically successful, but these examples all follow our best practices. If you decide to recreate these CTAs on your site, please remember to test to see if they work for your audience.

Want more CTA design inspiration? Check out some of our favorite HubSpot call-to-action examples.

Editor’s note: This post was originally published in June 2014 and has been updated for comprehensiveness.

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Tags: 39, CalltoAction, Click, Examples

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[hereticaloracles]

New Moon in Libra: The Breath of Life

“Once you realize you deserve a bright future, letting go of your dark past is the best choice you will ever make.”― Roy T. Bennett

Effective Date: September 28th, 2019

Helios’ Astrological Angle on the New Moon in Libra: Okay, here’s the deal Heretics- this is not going to be a normal one, I have a lot to get through and the muses are shouting at me to get it all down. We’re glossing over the normal Libra crap about balance and relationships and we’re going to explore the process that led us to where we are right now instead, what is actually going on in your internal landscape, what it means, and where we’re going.

The Summer Eclipses forced us into our own darkness and made us become empty so that we could enter the void. They forced us to scoop out our bullshit like a melon baller to the soul. There was no arguing, no whinging, no negotiating- It simply was what needed to be done. Leo season was like a power-washer shoved down your throat to make sure all the muck and merde was pushed out for good. The mission was brought back to us, and we were inspired yet again. Then in Virgo, we started to rebuild- a new and upgraded version of the Self, built from the ground up, and we became ready to give Love to our Self for a damn change. So this process is ongoing and we don’t fully know where it will lead us (none of these have been normal seasons thus far, so seeing the final destination is a challenge) what does that mean for Libra? Well, now you have to breathe a new life into your self-creation and get ready for a serious re-invention of your life. Everything about this New Moon will be about furthering this goal.

The Sun, Moon, Chiron, and Uranus– So it’s one thing to say all of that, but how do you go about actually doing it? Well, it turns out that it’s simpler than you might think…. then again what is simple is rarely easy, and this time it’s no exception. What this lunation demands is that you MUST make a clean break with your pain and your past. Now, I know this will bring me hate but think about it for a damn minute- You cannot make any forward progress while you are hiding in the shadows from yourself and lugging around your pain like an anchor around your neck. Holding onto your pain is holding on to your past and you need to let it go. You need to move on. A clean break- take a day, clean your living space, smudge the crap out of everything, and then just decide to not be hurt anymore. And yes, it truly can be that easy IF YOU MANIFEST IT TO BE. The whole point of this is to reinvent and upgrade your Self, allowing your reality to change. YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOUR LIFE WITHOUT CHANGING YOURSELF FIRST.

You must begin telling a new story for yourself- one where you are not the victim, one where you have made peace with your past. This is a reboot and it is time to go in a new direction. You will need to let go, and this will be excruciatingly painful for most because you don’t feel ready to move on- You’re ready, you have no choice but to be anymore. Anyone who doesn’t like that, too bad- ya’ll had time to choose it for yourself, now time is running out and the choice is being made for you. Evolve or die, there is no third option. The area you DO have agency and choice in is what the story you tell yourself entails. Hell, sit down and write it out if it helps- at least an outline. Cast yourself as the hero you needed before you were hurt, and change the narrative. Give your pain a purpose, but now it’s truly time to leave it the fuck behind. Move on. Let go. It’s time.

I need to make it clear that your mission is not to heal your pain, no we’re not doing that anymore. It doesn’t work anyway. Now you need to concentrate all your bullshit, compress it, and break it off of you for good so that you can yeet it into the Sun. Don’t worry about losing your pain- you don’t cry when you take out the rotting garbage and trash every week, do you? No, you need to consciously break it off. There is no compromising with it, stalling, or delaying anymore. What has holding on to your pain brought you anyway? Has it improved your life in any way? No? Get rid of it.

Minor Planets used: Makemake, Logos, Varuna, Salacia, Eros, Circe, Isis, Eurydike, Iris, Hidalgo, Phaethon

Mercury, Mars, and Pluto– Here’s the deal, you need to stop trying to reclaim who you were before you became who you are. Going back, regressing… that is not the way life works. Your mission is to move on. I want you to imagine yourself without the emotional pain or trauma you carry- not who you were before it, you now and everything you face. How would you face your present challenges in this moment if you weren’t weighed down with what happened to you? How would you act if you didn’t expect to fail? What choices would you make? Pretend you were a new version of yourself. Let the old one die. Let go of who you think you are so you can become who you were meant to be. Listen, the old you no longer serves you and is ill-prepared for this time. Remake yourself anew so you can thrive instead of suffering. The cosmos does not want you to suffer, and the only way that you will is by holding on to what is already gone. Quit crying over spilled milk and pour yourself a new goddamn glass.

Minor Planets used: Eris, Sila-Nunam, Chaos, Manwë, Asbolus, Chariklo, Osiris, Damocles, Heracles, Orpheus

Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, and Neptune– So what form should the new story of this stage of your life take? Well, the details of that are up to you, to be sure, but let’s talk central themes- first of all, we’re chucking the painful backstory and tortured hero trope, save that for Batman to brood over. Start from what you want to accomplish, the things you want to do and the person you desire to become and work backward. Create your future by story-boarding it and aligning yourself to your dreams. Stay in character, but remember you’re working with a new script- one with no tragedy to overcome. You’re focusing on achieving future success through present action, not tormented by past trauma. Make no mistake, this is going to be some dark and intense shadow work, but you get the benefit of it being an abstraction for now. You get the gift of getting to go deep within yourself and make the changes you need to, without the emotional merde. You are building the mental framework of your new self right now. Focus on your new self’s ambitions, desires, and reject anything that comes from a place of your old pain. You can have everything you want. Have the courage to change your story; leave your pain behind, step into self-love and watch the magic happen.

Minor Planets used: Lempo, Dziewanna, Rhiphonos, Elatus, Pelion, Astraea, Diana, Terpsichore, Atropos, Toro, Hebe

New Moon in Libra: The Breath of Life was originally published on Heretical Oracles

[poor-cromwell]

Philippa Gregory and the Virgin-Whore Dichotomy

I like historical fiction. As a historian, I enjoy reading period pieces because they bring to life characters that I spend lots of time with. As a result, I’m usually willing to forgive the genre it’s many shortcomings, yet I have had a particularly difficult time digesting a certain author. With any Philippa Gregory novel, I have found lots and lots of issues to unpack, dissect, and despise. From subpar prose to unfocused plots and especially to the gigantic fallacies in her portrayal of history, specifically because she claims to aim for total historically accuracy. Still, it’s not her ineptness to interpret historical data with any degree of conformity to historiographical consensus that irks me the most. Philippa Gregory writes stories about women for women, they’re (for better or for worse, “chick lit”). And yet the portrayal of the main characters in her two most popular novels, The Other Boleyn Girl and The Boleyn Inheritance make forgiving her for historical inaccuracy for the sake of guilty pleasure nearly impossible.

It’s not just that Gregory ignores facts in favor of her own interpretation, and thus is forced to portray women like Anne Boleyn in ways that conform to said interpretation, but that her characterization of her leads – completely turning away from historical fact – follow several problematic tropes that detract from their actual characters. This in and of itself follows a trope in adaptation wherein women with balanced, fleshed out characters have everything taken away from them so that they can fit into the neat little virgin-whore dichotomy that sadly is seen even in today’s most popular media. So, instead of giving Anne and Mary Boleyn in The Other Boleyn Girl and Anne of Cleves and Catherine Howard in The Boleyn Inheritance their dues as fascinating historical figures, she neatly consigns each of them to one of her little boxes: Mary Boleyn and Anne of Cleves as virgins, Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard as whores. 

Mary Boleyn, who was sent from the French court after serving for a time as the King of France’s mistress for her “unseemly behavior,” and came to England and became Henry’s mistress despite her family’s embarrassment and consternation, is inexplicably portrayed in The Other Boleyn Girl as a naïve, sexually innocent girl who is forced into her affair with Henry by her ambitious family. She is consistently portrayed as the victim of her father’s and uncle’s, and later her sister’s schemes, ousted from the Henry’s affection by the ambitious Anne who wants power and glory (I’ll address Anne’s storyline in more detail below). And despite this being her story, from her point of view, she has no real autonomy, despite historically being one of very few women who clearly were in control and enjoyed their sexuality and didn’t care about seeming virginal. The only thing she does is get married against her family wishes, which is the action that ultimately saved her from being implicated in the coup against the Boleyns in 1536. Additionally, Gregory does this weird thing where she makes Mary the youngest of the Boleyn, born in 1508, even though overwhelming scholarly evidence proves that Mary was the eldest child, born in 1499/1500, which does nothing but further Mary’s infantilization. There is no reason to do any of this but to vilify Anne and make Mary, again, this story’s hero, fit with Anglo-Christian morality so the outcome of her story is justified – which I’ll explain in more detail later.

Anne of Cleves, who most likely died a virgin as she never married and was a devout Lutheran, did not have have a sexual autonomy to be taken away in order for her to be the virginal protagonist to counterbalance Catherine Howard. However, Gregory - for no perceivable reason- invents a history of abuse in the Cleves family (we’re treated to a drawn out scene of Anne being whipped by her mother while her brother watches in the shadows) and Anne’s father being mentally ill. This despite the fact that Anne’s father did not suffer a mental illness, and Anne was known to be the favorite of both her mother and her brother and having a happy family life. Anne of Cleves and Mary Boleyn both have invented abuse and bullying from their family, because according to Philippa Gregory, you can’t like a character unless she’s suffered incredible childhood trauma and has no sexual autonomy, as shown by her portrayal of Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard.

Anne Boleyn, a highly pious woman who initially rebuffed King Henry’s offer of being his mistress because of said piety, is portrayed in The Other Boleyn Girl as being so power hungry and ruthless that she sells out her sister to pursue her man and has sex with her own brother in order to make and keep herself as Henry’s queen. This isn’t to say that Anne wasn’t ambitious, she most certainly was. But Gregory goes about her ambition in the wrong way. Anne doesn’t pursue power in a vacuum (she also does it after Mary’s affair with Henry had ended) but in part because of her convictions and in part because she knows that she must yield to Henry and tries to make the best out of her situation. Anne took care of Mary and her children, securing a pension for Mary after her husband died and left her in debt, and making sure her son got a good education. Most importantly, unlike the portrayal of the book and the films of the events of 1536, Anne wasn’t executed because Jane Boleyn made a silly report implicating George and Anne in an affair (historians actually believe Jane had very little if anything to do with her husband and sister-in-law’s downfall, which makes sense if you think about it). She was in part executed because she had lost two children and in part because councilors like Thomas Cromwell didn’t like her butting into their work and criticizing their immorality. The charges of incest served the purpose of weakening the Boleyns farther and scrubbing the court of their influence. She was completely innocent of the charges.

Catherine Howard was not. This is another case in Gregory’s novels where she didn’t have to invent a “crime” because Catherine was “guilty” of having sex with both Francis Dereham and Thomas Culpeper. Most historians, however, give Catherine a pass for her mistake, while being aware of what happened to her cousin, citing her youth and the fact that she was way in over her head at the time to know what she was doing. But Gregory couldn’t possibly let that play out without adding her particular flavor of awful. Catherine is a vapid, empty headed, superficial and annoying character, and even though despite these flaws I still found myself sympathizing with her, I don’t know if Gregory intended me to. She is shown in every bad light, from making fun of Anne of Cleves’ dresses to being utterly fake and more or less the pawn of Uncle Norfolk and his desire for power. Of course, she has her affair with Culpeper not just because she’s infatuated with him, but because her uncle tells her to in order for her to get pregnant, even though the intention of getting pregnant to dupe Henry has no historical grounds whatsoever.

Now, you might be wondering, why would Philippa Gregory go through such pains and take all this criticism when she could have easily just written what actually happened historically. Isn’t it much easier, especially when you already have an interesting plot write for you, to fill in the blanks? Possibly, but I think the answer to this question lies in the fate of the respective characters. Our “virgin” characters, Anne of Cleves and Mary Boleyn get happily ever afters. They outlive their tormentors in peace and fulfillment, and lead contented lives. Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard, on the other hand, are both executed. Gregory conforms the life to the outcome so that all seems justified in the end. At least, this is the implication of how she chose to tell these stories. By making Anne and Catherine “guilty” of ambition and sexual autonomy, we’re meant feel satisfied in their demise because this is what bad women get. Conversely, if you’re a good, “pure” woman, you get a long and happy life. 

This is nothing new in the world of fiction, but it is a terrible trope that informed by gender roles in our society. Essentially, if you’re a woman and you have agency, your head’s going to get cut off. We as women are told this over and over again in many different ways across every genre, from the scream queen getting killed while having sex with her boyfriend to the countless times on TV that the Strong Female Character has been sexually assaulted as a plot point. And Philippa Gregory definitely helps perpetuate this. And that is why, among other reasons, I do not like her novels.

[withasmoothroundstone]

Okay I have never in recent years felt as comfortable in my own skin as I did today.  I have a garden plot provided by the developmental disability agency.  I’m growing food plants there, to make soups out of for my J-tube, everything goes well.  Today I went there with a staff person -- the only one not allowed to do medical stuff, with the express purpose of getting me involved in activities that aren’t medical in nature, since so much of my life is taken up by medical issues.  So we can do anything from organizing the apartment to gardening.  I don’t get a lot of time with this guy but the time I do get is amazing.  So anyway...

We weeded about a quarter of the plot (which is one of the smallest plots in the whole garden yet is actually quite huge, and was covered in weeds the whole way over).  Then we planted hot peppers (jalapeño and hot portugal), squash (zucchini and yellow), and eggplant, and left some seed potatoes out to sit for awhile before they get planted.  We also discovered, and weeded around, what we think is delicata squash left there by a staff person who had too many of them.

All of the vegetables were looking kind of sad and droopy, so we watered them and we’re hoping the water and sun will both perk them up again.  At least some of them.  We’re not expecting everything to survive or turn out great, but you can’t grow any food without risking that.

What does survive, will be far less expensive than the grocery store, that’s for sure. Even the farmer’s markets around here don’t have good prices.  In fact they’re more expensive than usual.  

(Are farmer’s markets a thing that can gentrify?  Because in California, I went to farmer’s markets that were basically roadside stands filled with great vegetables and fruits, and sometimes a few other foods, at an extremely low cost.  Many people who worked on the farms -- meaning poor and working-class people -- shopped there.  Not a lot of middle-class or rich people did, even though I think the food was great by anyone’s taste.  I swear the local farmer’s market around here is basically an upscale food fair.  And the food selection and quantity isn’t even all that wonderful.)

Anyway, this seriously felt amazing to do this.  Understand that I’m very prone, from a combination of physiology, circumstance, and medication side-effects, to heat exhaustion, sunburn, dehydration, and other problems related to being out there in that place.  There was also grass everywhere -- we weren’t on it, but that didn’t matter to my allergies, where grass and cats are the most severe airborne allergies I have -- so my nose was constantly running despite loading up on Benadryl.  And I had to crawl around on the ground because I’m too weak to get up off the ground on my own.(1)  I also had balance problems so had to sit in some weird positions.  So none of this was physically easy, and I basically worked to the limits of what is safe for me, and possibly a little beyond those limits.

But the main point is that despite all of those things put together, I felt amazing. I felt at home.  I felt like I was connecting to something I hadn’t even realized I’d lost connection with.  I felt like I was interacting on a very deep way with the dirt and the plants and all the things living in the dirt.  I ended up, of course, covered in dirt.  That’s what happens when you have to crawl around on your hands and knees or scoot around on your butt to weed a large area as efficiently as possible.  But that really didn’t matte to me.  This was like when I used to sit around in the redwoods outside my apartment stacking rocks on myself and feeling like the rocks told me I had a place in the world.  Everything around me as we did this, told me I had a very precise place in the world and right now that place was right here doing exactly what I was doing -- weeding and digging holes for new plants, and watering the plants.

I also got watered myself. Something not always understood by people who get their water by drinking it by mouth:  It doesn’t matter how water gets into your body, as long as your body absorbs the water properly.  I hydrate by putting water straight into my intestines through a J-tube with a big syringe.  I have in the past hydrated by having water (or rather, a rehydrating mixture of things designed for use in veins) put into an IV line or a chest port, straight into my bloodstream.  Regardless of how you put it in, the sensation of getting a nice large drink of cool water feels exactly the same kind of satisfying.  Just like putting blenderized vegetables into my J-tube and digesting them feels pleasant and satisfying even without tasting them.  Anyway, right then, water completely hit the spot.

Someone who saw the pictures was amazed -- he said I looked completely natural in this setting, in a way I don’t in most.  I probably looked very similar to I look in the redwoods.  And I don’t know how that is, but it’s a very similar feeling of being exactly where I’m supposed to be, and exactly where home is.  And being comfortable in my own skin in a way that isn’t usually achievable.  I felt like I could have grown straight out of the ground like the plants, and sat there and photosynthesized my food or something.  Except I have skin, not leave, so 70 SPF sunblock was a necessity.  I hope maybe these very brief exposures to the sun will result in my skin going back to a normal level of tan -- not tanned, just not “I’ve been indoors for over 10 years to the point I can’t handle sunlight even though I used to have practically burn-proof skin” pasty.

But he said one thing that bothered me on a certain level.  He said “Wow, you look totally natural,” and then, after pausing to think, he said, “Well except for that feeding tube hanging off you all the time.”

Feeding tubes are natural in the exact same way that agriculture is natural.  Both are examples of things that don’t just happen on their own, but humans have created them in order to improve our ability to interact with our environments and survive despite the limitations of a human body.  Tube feeding has been around in one form or another since at least Ancient Egypt (that’s what’s documented, anyway), but the kind of tube feeding I do only has existed since the twentieth century with surgery becoming safer through anesthesia and antibiotics.  But all of these things are humans adapting to our environment using the skills nature has given us.  Tube feeding is as natural as beaver dams.

All of which gets me into a problem I encounter a lot:  I really like to talk to and read things by people who greatly value a lot of things I value.  Including growing your own food, and stuff that’s traditionally considered “nature” and “outdoorsy” stuff.  But such people are more likely than average to have extreme biases against feeding tubes, to the point of describing people like me (who depend on medical implants of many kinds in order to survive) as unnatural and creepy, the product of medical science gone too far, in a world that doesn’t want to deal with or acknowledge the natural world, where people like me would die and that would be okay.  There’s little more natural about humans than our instinct to survive, and to use our best skills as a species to do just that.  Our best skills include communication, collaboration, technology, inventing and designing and making new things, passing on our knowledge and skills to future generations, and a strong desire to survive even in extreme circumstances.  These skills are not unique to humans, but the precise way they play out in humans is.  And they are very, very natural.  And they result in things like feeding tubes.  

Because it is our nature as humans to help each other survive, to want to survive, and we have been helping severely disabled people(2) survive since prehistoric times, the times when many modern-day “nature people” assume we’d all have just died.  But it has always been in our nature to help each other, and if that meant carrying people around and pre-chewing their food all the way into what at that time would have been not only adulthood but old age, that’s what it meant.  It’s some of our current societies’ trends towards total selfishness that has caused some of us to assume that every prehistoric society would always leave such people to fend for themselves and die.  

I wouldn’t be alive in such prehistoric societies.  I would have died a long time ago.  They simply did not have the technology to keep someone with my medical issues alive.  But -- depending upon the society of course, they weren’t all the same -- it wouldn’t necessarily be through lack of trying.  There’s quite a chance that I would have been valued in life and mourned in death in a way that I might not be in modern-day America (or not likely for the same reasons, even if I am).

I’m also reminded that the only job I ever had in my life was on a ranch, doing work of a different sort but similarly physical and outdoors and dealing with the raw materials of life.  I got paid minimum wage to do things ranging from animal care to shoveling manure and moving it in wheelbarrows to painting fences and barns to cleaning up the property.  This was in a residential facility and the job was a work training program that taught us how to fill out time cards and the like.  I was very proud of my work.  I wish that I was able to do this kind of work now.  It’s one thing to spend a short amount of time doing something like this, but my body would crap out in five different ways long before I spent enough time doing something like this to get paid anything for it.(3)

But even though today I pushed myself to my limits and slightly beyond them, what I’m trying to get at is, this type of thing is what has always come the most easily to me, severe physical limitations(4) notwithstanding.  And although I had a huge amount of help with every part of the process, including just standing up again off the ground, it was still an amazing experience and brought back a lot of very primal, early memories of things I used to do all the time and felt actually competent at.

So overall this is a wonderful experience.  Pardon the fact that I had to stop and talk about ableism, but that’s part of my life’s reality as well.

(1) Yes, too weak, not too fat.  I could get off the ground while fatter than this, before congenital myasthenia and complications thereof got worse and made it impossible for me to stand up from the ground without bracing on something, and sometimes even then.

(2) By any time’s measure of such things -- theirs or ours.

(3) Please don’t respond by telling me ways I could work.  I have so many disabilities piled on top of each other, that options that were just barely open to me as a teen became firmly closed by adulthood and have only gotten worse since there.  I don’t think less of myself because I can’t work, so please don’t assume that I’m just putting myself down or selling myself short.  I just know better than to put myself in a situation where I would end up in the emergency room long before I worked long or hard enough to get a paycheck that wouldn’t even support me.

(4) Congenital myasthenic syndrome, hypermobility syndrome, gastroparesis, osteoporosis, and secondary (pituitary) adrenal insufficiency make quite a potent cocktail of “I can’t handle hard physical labor for more than a ridiculously short period of time without turning into a quivering puddle”, without even getting into the specifics of autonomic problems and heat regulation and all kinds of other things.  Today I cam very close to turning into a puddle, I stopped myself just in time to barely get back to the car -- with help -- and get water into my tube andrlst for awhile.  I’m still feeling the effects hours later.  I got lucky.

[barbarabarry91]

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