#and i feel like if it's bad it's gonna overshadow the other piece that i actually think came out rly good

[angelsdean]

depressi bc i'm spending so much time on these two art pieces to go together in a post and one of them is just giving a hard time and half the time i look at it i think it's fine and the other half i think it's awful :/

[ddejavvu]

can I request reader x James but they are meeting for the first time and reader is dating one of James’ asshole friends and James gets really jealous - I love your writing so much it’s genuinely always perfect

"'Drew? Can I have the marshmallows, please?" Your sweet voice rings out across the campfire, but apparently it doesn't induce the same butterflies in your boyfriend's stomach as it does in James's.

"Yeah. Don't eat 'em all." Andrew passes you the bag without even looking, tuning back into the conversation he'd been listening in on.

Your tongue pokes out of your mouth as James watches you skewer the marshmallow, sticking it into the fire and watching the flames slowly blacken the surface.

"You like it when it's burnt?" James asks, and you almost seem surprised that he's speaking to you. Most of his friends are engaged in other conversations, and it takes you a quick second to acclimate to being included in one of your own.

"Yeah, I do." You grin bashfully, "Andrew says it's gross, though. What about you?"

"I like them burnt," James agrees, even though it's a lie. He barely gets his marshmallow warm enough to melt it, but he's not about to oppose you.

"You want this one?" You offer, but he shakes his head with a kind smile.

"S'alright, love. You have it. You want the chocolate?"

"Yes, please." You nod, and James chucks a pebble at Andrew's shoulder across the fire.

"Mate, toss me the chocolate."

"Ow! You git," Andrew snickers, launching the chocolate over the flames and watching James catch it, "Nice save."

James hands two pieces over to you as you withdraw your charred marshmallow, helping you balance them atop the surface.

"Andrew? The graham crackers," You feel bad interrupting him yet again, especially when he lets out a sharp scoff.

"Alright! Jesus, how many fucking times are you gonna interrupt me?" He snaps, the cardboard of the graham cracker box warping as he holds it too tightly.

"As many times as it takes to build a s'more." James laughs incredulously, his brows furrowed. "S'not her fault you're hoarding the food over there. Don't be a dick, man."

"There." Andrew drawls, shoving the box in your direction, "That's it, right? You don't need anything else?"

"That's it." You grumble, "Thank you."

Andrew mumbles something under his breath as he turns away. It makes James's blood boil, and he's sure he'd be even more upset if he had heard whatever Andrew had said.

There's a tense silence over you and James as you smash your chocolate-covered marshmallow between two graham crackers. Andrew's still paying rapt attention to the conversation beside him, but the words have long since stopped registering in either of your heads, and you're thinking about how awful your boyfriend is in unison.

James watches as you swallow, the action thick as marshmallow blends with chocolate down your throat. Andrew's sitting beside the stash of water bottles you'd brought, and he watches you eye them, though you don't dare ask for one.

"Here," James grabs his own, holding the half-empty bottle out towards you, "You can have the rest of it, m'not thirsty."

You meet his eye and James is pleased to see a miniscule smile curving your lips upwards, even if it is overshadowed by the dismal reason he'd offered.

"Thanks," You hum, and that saccharine tone is back in your voice where it belongs.

[pruneunfair]

Rating FL's part 3

Shuri

12/10: I just started reading A step mothers marchen (and it's probably gonna take a while to finish it since Bato doesn't have a full English translation) but from the few chapters I read I agreed with fans of the book that Shuri is without a doubt one of the best FL's. There's actual development between her and the step-children and she succeeds at being relatable without making her too overpowered.

Athanasia

7/10: Okay while I don't really care too much about WMMAP, I still think that for one of the first most popular otome isekais Athy was a pretty good protagonist and most of my complaints about her are mostly just ant hills. I don't have much to say on Athy other then she's a good start for OI protagonists but could be a little better.

Aisha

9/10: Is she generic? Yes, does that make her a bad protagonist? No. I don't understand what people mean when they say Marianne overshadows her unless they're talking about the fandom specifically because as someone who also really loves Marianne, she barely shows up on screen so to say that she overshadows Aisha just because Aisha is a typical sweet saintess heroine is stupid. Sometimes ITLA can be a little on the nose with how nice she is but I still find Aisha pretty well made.

Sienna

9/10: Okay I officially love manhwa where the maid is the protagonist instead of a noblewoman and as short as the manhwa she's from is, I still think she's a sweetheart. My only complaint is that the story keeps randomly inserting sad backstory memories so you feel bad for her, like one minute she'll be doing something ordinary and then next she's basically just like "This reminds me of when my step-mom hit me with jumper cables after I spilled one drop of tea." And then it goes back to the present within one panel.

Hae Soo

6.5/10: I'm sorry but people meat ride her WAY too much. She's not a terrible FL but there is so much better and she's really not all that because you can kinda tell by the way that she's the only female character thats likable and with that bodytype that she's just a self insert character.

Ruby

8/10: For once we have a piece that actually looks into the typical white lotuses point of view, Like Helena except way darker when it comes to backstories. I like that Ruby is shown to be more emotional cause I never liked how a lot of manhwa imply that emotions=crybaby FL, it all depends on how it's handled and I think thr author was very respectful when it came to her abuse and ED. However like Sienna there are times when the author is trying too hard and ends up forgetting certain parts of Ruby's trauma. For example they mentioned early in the chapters that Ruby's beloved older sister had died but it's barely mentioned in the future on how it affected her, so it ends up feeling like it was just a way to feel bad for her even more.

Aria

6/10: so on one hand I'm really glad that Aria is actually evil instead of the comic just saying " Oh no! She's not evil! She's too nice for that" because if villainess is gonna be in the title then she should keep some of her villainous traits, but I really don't know if I should see her as super smart if all her enemies are too stupid to combat her, it makes Aria look really stupid when she got killed in the first timeline if they're so bad at crimes.

Eris

10/10, Love my girl Eris! Kill the villainess was great for a lot of things, a knight for the ML instead of the prince, the ogfl not being a white lotus out to ruin Eris's life, and morally corrupt villains that felt like obstacles, but what they did the best was the FL because Eris actually retains her goal on going back to her world instead of shrugging it off and going to sleep because you know most people would be freaking out if they woke up as a historical woman in a time period where women had no rights and it was easy to die after getting sick once.

Roxana

9.5/10: She's overrated but that doesn't make a character bad by default. When I finally read Roxana after seeing the hype I could understand why they loved Roxana so much. Now as much as I don't like evil protagonists who don't suffer consequences, the story makes up for it by being self aware that the Agriche family are a bunch of lunatics with the exception of Roxanas mom and her late brother. Being chaotic is simply part of the plot so I don't think it's fair for me to fault it. That being said as much as I loved her I do think that her takeover during the end chapters shouldn't have been done and done so easily and quickly.

Verta

7/10: similar to Roxana, Depths of malice is self aware that Verta is a terrible person even though she has a tragic backstory, it's only an explanation for why she's like this not an excuse. If you know me, you know I love the white lotus women so seeing one as a protagonist was something extraordinary since I thought everyone but me and a select few hated two faced women. She only really earns a 7 because as good as she is, there are better ones.

[runesofthedelta]

CHARA AND THE NATURE OF BEING A FALLEN CHILD

I know that folks like to ref Asriel's "Chara hated humanity" quote...

... But bruh, Chara was like 10. Most 10 year olds, and well into their teens, are gonna claim they hate humanity. You've done it, I've done it, its not new.

That isn't to say that Chara didn't have some severe trauma attached... But more realistically, there was probably only a few people that they were absolutely furious and hurt about. Probably those who hurt them pretty badly, but can't quite articulate the specifics.

Mix that, with the history of Monsters' and suddenly, this 10 year old has an easy, if poor choiced, coping mechanism--its easier to say that all Humans Is Bad when you can back it up with a war that happened centuries ago, and you're very young and small and aren't quite capable of understanding that, sometimes, individuals are often real pieces of shit and in life, one can run into them or land with them at the roll of chance.

But individuals don't inform the whole. That doesn't change the fact that individuals can do greater damage over a long period of time... but it doesn't inform the whole.

... However, a 10 year old isn't going to understand that.

Its easier to generalize. Children do it all the time, they're young, they don't have the experience or the growth, to have the capability of full realization and all the little things attached.

I know that quite a few folk will reference the tapes in the True Lab. How Asriel was hesitant and definitely disliked their plan...

With the addition of "Chara wasn't the Greatest Person"

... But it wasn't a bullied hesitance as others might think.

Asriel literally went out of their way, to grab (presumably Toriel's) camera, in order to record their sibling performing antics. You don't do that when you're bullied and subjugated.

You don't ask for creepy faces to record, you don't trick them into smiling for a camera that isn't even recording--because tricking a bully makes you a target for a bully.

You do that for a sibling who does silly things.

No character in Undertale is perfect, or omniscient. Each one has their on misconceptions about one another, and evidence is laid plain.

Asriel has this bad habit, as Flowey, about projecting. Putting someone they like on a pedestal. What they did for Chara, they repeated for Frisk (even though it was primarily Chara's influence and memories that saved Asriel).

Its less of a trait he's always had, and more of one he's developed as Flowey. He was soulless when he said it--he's still projecting, its simply, not to a malicious extent anymore.

The Frisk Asriel want them to be, doesn't actually exist. Most of Frisk' behavior is minimally implied, mostly overshadowed by Chara's influence as narrator and choice giver, and our choices as the Player. Frisk does little that can be discerned.

Asriel was being insensitive, but for good reason. He was trying to handle things, and was losing the feeling of having a soul-- insensitivity, and not being aware of all the facts, is the minimum of what's going on.

Plus he's like, 10 too.

Chara is the ultimate challenge of Undertale.

Undertale, as a game, promotes the idea of understanding and forgiveness, and the fact that even with one problem laid out, we don't know everything.

Any time you can tell someone that you're not going to fight, and they stop fighting too, simultaneous showing each other mercy? That's a victory here.

Chara's Challenge to the player, not to Frisk, but the Player, on how to forgive and understand someone, when you only have their mistakes on the board. You only see the "worst" they've done or are capable of doing.

Asriel says that Chara wasn't the greatest... but he, at no point, ever compared Chara to himself, as Flowey, unless its the No Mercy Route (Which Flowey cheers for).

UT tells us how, it merely does not have the mechanics on display, because Chara's Challenge is not a fight. Chara is far too willing to let you think the worst of them, neither confirming (outright) or denying (at all).

The challenge is simple, like any other monster.

WILL YOU SHOW MERCY (TO THE FALLEN CHILD)?

[tequila-solar-storm]

You're gonna hear my reaction loud and clear once it drops, I can't waaaaait—

I mean Chasca rides her flying weapon so the flying limousine wouldn't be too out of place hahah

Okay live stream: laughing so hard because I knew you were gonna mention Mutota HAHAHA I'm just gonna sit in a corner sipping tea waiting to witness what you're going to cook with the tribe chiefs 👀

Kinich is up for plenty of more fun!

And now you got me curious about the Night-Wind's Chief too! We shall wait and see

Chasca and Ororon can wait we're looking for potential Kinich lovers LMAO

On the side-note trying to understand some of Natlan cultural references it's like trying to piece a puzzle together without knowing what the final picture is supposed to look like while having pieces of different puzzles in one single box. In other words... I have no idea of what the heck is happening (T∆T)

I'M SUPER CURIOUS ABOUT HER SAURIAN MOM when they mentioned she was raised by qucusaurs I got super curious and thought we'd have to read her character stories to know more, BUT no we're actually meeting them Yes!!

I thought the subject of the art was weird too HAHAH like??? But I wouldn't mind Citlali being the new favorite child she's been fun so far lol

You're so REAL for mentioning Ororon being another electro bow, we have so many and he's another off-fielder too??? We have electro off-field covered already hoyo pls y_y having an Anemo male tall character would feel so wrong for some reasons HAHAHA

With anything related to the Collective of Plenty is happening off-screen I just hope they will make the wait worth it for when we finally meet them, honestly I find their tribe name curious but guess we'll have to wait! At least we're getting Iansan! Hoping to see more screentime of her :))

No joke I'm so excited for the new little dude, they're so CUTE and the fact that they basically turn into a laser shooter is hilarious

I already know I'm gonna hate fighting the new boss and avoid it at all costs, they're definitely gonna shove it in the abyss and I'm NOT mentally prepared for when that'll happen lmao

Gabe and Kai get kudos from me too, as you said they're more straightforward and also clearer in their explanation, I hope everything will get settled with the voice actors eventually but, in the meantime, I really wouldn't mind having more streams presented by these 2 dudes haha

Thanks for the cake! <3

—🌻

Previous Post

It is Year 2030 and Genshin drops its newest character: a stereotypical anime girl that can transform into a literal car with another region-locked gimmick. She’s essentially a Transformer but her non-car form looks exactly like a human but wearing mech clothes. She has huge boobs and an even larger butt because this is Genshin and they’re the best at remaining ✨consistent✨ obviously. Her car form has boobs and a butt too. Powercreep has got so bad Neuvillete is ‘F’ on meta tier lists. Genshin continues to promote itself to be a free open-world game though half of the map is locked behind levels, quests, and paywalls. They’ve also—

What were we talking about again? Right, to the rest of your ask!

WHAT CAN I SAY I’M PREDICTABLE 😭😭😭 The unique designs for the Natlan chiefs have been incredible so far (Helps that they’re darker than most of the playables… the bar is SO low it’s in hell) and Mutota continues that trend!

Considering Never Turn Back is just a NPC-appreciation fest poorly disguised as a Kinich smut series what did you expect 😭 Every Natlan update consists of me going ‘Hmm who can I ship Kinich with this time???’ and it takes priority over everything else!!!

I like Chasca and Ororon’s personalities but they shall be unfortunately overshadowed by Mr Random NPC Mutota. If it’s not him, it’s going to be Chasca’s mother and our newest little buddy. Lasers are always fun, and I’m really looking forward to Chasca’s interactions with her Sauro-mama!! Citlali and Ororon’s interactions already proved to be absolute gold, so I’m also excited for more of those!! But Mutota remains priority number 1 HAHAHA

If we’re not going to have Ifa be a Anemo Tall Male let’s have him be Genshin’s very first little boy character. I’m talking Klee, Qiqi, Nahida etc sized. (Delusional)

The puzzle piece analogy perfectly encapsulates how I feel so thank you for putting to words what I’m thinking 🥲

I’m curious about the Collective of Plenty too! Who knows, maybe their chief is a literal robot because who cares at this point…

Anyway, for now, let’s just hope for the best with the Voice Actors and keep enjoying the streams with our Localisation Guys!!! All while bracing ourselves for the Abyss and it’s newest Time Sink Boss™ 🫠

[veilingofthesun]

Musical questions! 18, 19, 20, 31 & 32?

Thank you so much for the asks! ❤️ Sorry it took so long to answer them, but some of the questions were challening. Which is a good thing, because I really had to think long and hard about them.

By the way, I sent you an ask about a week ago. I was wondering if you got it....

18. What is your favourite female duet?

Maybe from Next to Normal, without a doubt. It is one of my (many) favourite songs from the musical and I never, ever tire of it. It still makes me as emotional as the first time I heard it. They don't sing much together in it, but it's the intimacy and connection of it. They're singing to the other person and the reactions from both sides are so strong and powerful. The harmonies and emotions in "Things will get better you see.... not for me...." breaks my heart every single time.

19. What is your favourite male duet?

I have been going over lots of male duets and I ended up going with What you own from Rent. It's a banger. I love the melody, the beat, the guitar, their voices together... I always sing along when I hear it and jump between both parts.

20. What is your favourite mixed gender duet?

There are a lot of beautiful ones to choose from and I have been going back and forth for days now. I have chosen Falling Slowly from Once, though. I just adore Once. I have been in love with Falling Slowly ever since the movie came out. There's something very special about that song, it just speaks to me. Their voices, the lyrics, the piano... the raw feeling.

31. Is there a musical that means a lot to you that isn't one of your favourites? What made you feel that way about it?

I'm gonna cheat a bit on this one and talk about a musical that isn't one of my favourites, but there's a production of it that means a lot to me. In 2017 I saw Malmö Operas production of Fiddler on the roof. I was just blown away. It was so well directed and well casted. I really felt for all the characters. The scenography and lighting design is still up there amongst the best scenography and lighting I have ever seen. The full orchestra and chorus made it really special, too. I was really moved and made speechless afterwards. I never listen to the cast recording and I have not seen another production of Fiddler on the roof ever since. But there was something magical about that production. I still think about it and have very vivid memories of it. Everytime I see a picture or video from that production I'm being transported back to that november evening.

32. Talk about the worst production of a musical you like that you've seen.

Hmmm... this was a difficult question. Maybe Nöjesteaterns 2017 production of The sound of music? It was not all bad... Christopher Wollter played the captain and he was amazing. I really liked Elisa Lindström as Maria and the kids, too.

It was slightly overshadowed by the owner of the theatre and his wife who displayed the absolutely worst case of overplaying I have ever seen. They played Max and and the baroness. Especially the owner seemed to think he was the star of the show and that everything he did was hilarious and the best thing to grace the stage.

The nuns were not so good and 'Climb every mountain' was a disappointment.

It's a small theatre and I know that they don't have the same resources, but some of the set pieces looked very fake, especially the backdrops.

[kanna-banana]

Ok, serious talk, I know nobody wants to read this but I'll feel better posting somewhere as opposed to vomiting my feelings all over my friends again, they've had enough, please feel free to ignore this and I'll be back to being silly in no time

Ok so, I know my blog is uncomfortable to read, I understand that my negativity and constant venting is at best annoying and at worst upsetting, i am aware of that but I also know that bottling up is worse to me and i feel like a liar if i just pretend everything is fine and just post silly stuff here.

My friends keep telling me I'm not a horrible person and am pretty funny actually and I think that is because they've know me for years and I was like that but things have not been going well im the last few years.

Yes I am not a bad person and I can be funny sometimes, but all of that gets overshadowed by the numerous mental issues I have and cannot cope with properly.

English is not my first language language so this gets a bit confusing because this nuance is pretty tricky in the language but as you all know is that "i am" can mean either "i am like this at the moment" (example "I'm cold" or "I'm hungry", those are not things that are inherent to you, they are temporary states) or "i am like this PERIOD" (example "I'm human" or "I'm Brazilian", they are permanent states about yourself)

Now

I know I AM (inherent) creative, funny sometimes, alright at drawing, and a bunch of other nice things people say about me when I'm crying, but you have to understand that i also am (temporary) completely fucked up mentally and emotionally, I'm not saying I'm going to be "cured" from being autistic btw, I'm counting not being able to handle my issues "being a bad temporary thing", like, i will never stop having ADHD symptoms (cannot afford a diagnosis so I'll just call them symptoms for now, or signs if you thing the word 'symptom' is a bit tone deaf) but i know i can learn how to live with it and function, even if my functioning looks very different from what's expected from a neurotypical person.

I am, at the moment, NOT DEALING WITH MY SHIT PROPERLY, and THAT is the issue I believe can be fixed. I will never have a good knee again, even after the surgery I just feel less pain, but i can learn how to adapt to my limitations, you know?

So, I am not, inherently, a failure, i know I'm not stupid or ugly or boring, but I'm so full of debuffs that basically I'm a piece of shit right now.

Yes, I did quit my job and tried to become a web developer and it went catastrophically bad, but I can't even count that as a failure because i NEEDED to quit that job either way (it was destroying my mental health) and if you're gonna quit going to live with a friend so dear to you she's basically a sister for a while and learning a skill you always wanted to at least start learning, isn't it worthy?

Yeah I "failed", but the happiness i felt along the way was worth even if it didn't work out in the end.

I know that, my mind knows that, but my feelings are absolute chaos and I sometimes fall into a deep self hatred spiral that makes me believe lies about everything around me, it even makes me believe everyone secretly hates me, which is OBJECTIVELY not true, if there's one thing I am in this world is loved.

I know it's sad, annoying, or even upsetting to see my posts and I'm not going to pretend they're inevitable, I CAN stop myself and I should have better restraint, I'm failing at that and I apologize for all the negative feelings I might have caused.

I know it's a pretty hard goal considering how my life is a huge mess right now, but my goal in life is to be the trans person i needed to meet when I was in the closet.

I want to be the type of happy, mature and intelligent person that my friends were when I met them 6? 7 years ago?

The people that completely shattered an entire lifetime of prejudice and fear that was forced into my brain since i was a toddler, the type of people that made me look at transphobic posts and go "that's not true, I've met trans people and they're some of the best people i know", the type of people who made me realize living as who you really are is both possible and achievable.

I want to be that person, someone who, just by being themselves, can melt away prejudice or at least be that kink in the armor of an angry reactionary that one day will help shatter the barrier of lies they protect themselves with and help them see that this hate was manufactured to use them as paws in a stupid made up culture war.

I got out of this horrible place with the help of wonderful people i will never be able to thank enough, and my dream is to help others out too.

I'm not saying i want to "trans" others, obviously, just to show that we are not the weird monsters thet so many out there want you to believe we are. To destroy the prejudice with the power of a honest, happy existence.

I want to be the person I needed when I was younger, lost, depressed, considering suicide, and constantly angry at anyone the liars and grifters who I trusted told me to hate.

I want to become the person who would have saved me back them.

I know it's going to take a lot of work, I have many barriers ahead of me, some inside of myself, some external, but neither way I have a LOT of work to do, and if there's one thing i can never do is give up.

I don't even know what "giving up" means at this point, I have to keep going, not only for myself but for those I might help in the future.

I can't change the past. I can't erase the harm my bigoted ignorant words caused, but I can grow into a person who heals as much as i used to hurt.

I know I'm a handful right now, and I am trying to control my words until i have the means to work on myself and improve as a person. Just, please be patient with me. If my posts upset you in the past please for your own sake unfollow/block me, I'm sorry I hurt you while trying to hurt myself, but unfortunately it will probably happen again, and there's nothing wrong with distancing yourself from someone that hurts you, even if they didnt INTEND to hurt you.

I am NOT (inherent) a failure

I am (temporary) failing

But I will get better.

I don't know how, I don't really have a plan, but I will figure it out somehow.

Life is not a game. I am not in a "doomed run", I can and I WILL live and be the best person I can be.

Thank you.

[crymeariveronceagain]

River's Thoughts after reading Lodestar again:

Wow did this book rip your brain out and stab it

also i highkey had a mini breakdown in the middle of this book, took a break and read a comfort book, and then went back to reading it today. So like. Yeah, progress?

Literally this has been the most sophitz up to this point and do you know what? Keefe is still a better love interest. I could write an essay on how Shannon is making us want Sokeefe unconsciously. Everything she does, every good moment we get with Fitz, it is always overshadowed with a love for Keefe. Shannon is making us think about Keefe at every single moment of this book. And it's like she specifically doesn't want us to focus on Fitz's newfound feelings for Soph.

I'm not afraid to say it. Sophie Foster loves Keefe. So much. It's apparent in every way she interacts with him. It's obvious in every way she comforts, every way she screams, every way her heart is caught up in him and his wellbeing and him him him him him. Sure, it's not the healthiest atm, what with the world falling to pieces and the trauma both of them are steadily living through, but holy mother trucker like a butcheek on a stick do those two love each other. Keefe is literally willing to do absolutely anything and everything for her, at the cost of himself, and she is willing to do anything and everything to protect him. My stars. These idiots got a whole fandom of middle schoolers up in arms over what was obvious from book five. They love each other, madly, desperately, and hopelessly. And sooner or later, they're gonna have to look each other in the eyes and face that fact.

my copy of lodestar is falling apart

i'd like to take a moment to tell my ex that he can go screw himself because that's not how you treat a lady's books.

Screw you, PJM. You know who you are, asshat.

Mr. Forkle went straight back to dehumanizing Sophie. Like, he took a break from it in Neverseen, but in this book, she is a weapon, a creation, a project, everything in between. No one thinks she's real. She's just a piece of a greater plan. And Mr. Forkle does not shy away from telling her so. At the end of the book, during the Summit, he has the actual gall to act like she's taken control of herself like, no, idiot, you raised her like this. You created this. You made this. You designed this. You may not be pulling the strings anymore but this little girl was still designed to be your puppet.

Gethen is the best Neverseen Member, I love every scene with him in it, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, I'll be here all weekend.

Brant is... so very. Much. All of the time.

Oh, my stars, I have so many problems with the Enhancing ability you don't even understand. Like, literally, strip her freedom away more why don'tcha. This was just an asinine move in every way. Don't give your weapon something like this. Don't design her this way. Don't be an idiot, sure, she may be an asset to you, now, but she's an asset to everyone else, around her. Like, once anyone knows that she's got this power, it's game over. They literally just capture her and force her to hold their hands like she's some kind of toy. Battle won instantaneously.

Oh, Sokeefe, how I love thee, let me count the quotes I've underlined with such captions as "t h e m".

I tried there's too many.

Okay, but the thing is that Linh literally throws herself backwards when she finds out Sophie's an enhancer. Linh's terrified of this new ability. Grady hates it. Like, does no one else see the downfall of making Sophie dangerous to the touch? Like, this poor girl is already so affection-starved, we're just gonna take it all from her???

EDALINE!!!!!! SO AMAZING!!! I'D KILL AND DIE FOR HER!!!! LOOK AT MY MOMMA BEAR GO AT THE END OF THIS BOOK SLAY QUEEN.

Keefe is just so traumatized. And everyone's like, "clearly, he's evil" and sophie is like "no, he's flipping traumatized" and everyone's like "what's trauma lmao" and sophie's like "im not a psychologist but i feel like it's when bad happens" and everyone's like "nah let's not take that into account" like what don't be idiots this is a kid without a support system not the evil spawn of satan

Actually Grady calling Keefe "That Boy" is disgusting, it's the first thing I've strongly disliked that Grady does, and I'm never going to be over how quickly everyone in this fandom just took the nickname and decided it was a joke, instead of how Grady says that Keefe doesn't deserve to be referred to by a name at all, and says he'll have to earn his own name back. Like, ehe, no, Dad of mine, please be kind to the poor kid.

Grady was honestly pretty out of character in this book. I love the guy but jeepers someone tell him the separation between violence and the elven mind is imaginary and created by society and let him go batshit crazy on every single person in the lost cities who hurt his daughter, and also let him stick up for Keefe and see the similarities between Keefe and Jolie, doing dangerous things for the people they love, and all that.

if i have to hear one more thing about how the neverseen distract from the problem and the black swan doesn't im going to start hitting people(probably forkle)

council is so bloody fricked lmao there's no way they're making it out of this book series with any sort of governmental claim over actually literally anything

Oralie is so very Sophie's mom it's kind of startling to look back and see. Like, even Sophie expects Oralie to be her mom.

Okay, I'm sorry, but the way the Neverseen knew how everything was going to go down seems Deus Ex. Not even going to lie. I feel like it was something that Shannon needed to happen and so she just lined up the dominos. It feels very Deus Ex. Or, *coff coff* Neverseen Alden.

Oh, how I want to slap Gisela Sencen hard enough that her pea-sized brains rattle in her ginormous skull made out of her own ego.

I love how the fandom highkey forgets actively how much of a complete psycho Fintan is. Like, we all just see flamboyant arsonist and make grabby hands while canon Fintan is sitting in the corner talking to himself about blood and how pretty your skin is.

Y'know, I actually am beginning to think that Gisela would be the parent who would actually get around to hurting Keefe. I seriously think that Cassius wouldn't hurt his kid. Maybe if really angry, but not purposefully, or with intent to punish or harm. I think Gisela would. Like, if one of the two adults actually ever hit Keefe, ever actively used it as a punishment and did it more out of "this is the only way you'll learn" I honestly feel like it would be Gisela. Hmm. Time to write a fic about Keefe experiencing some severe physical pain and having no clue why. Or why he's flinching so bad at nothing when he can't remember anything coming at him like that. Because Gisela definitely gets his mind washed often.

"Did they just admit they're training us to kill" yes. They are. Get over it, Sophie. It's just a little violence. You went to exilium. You've got this handled.

Oh, my gosh, the way the Song parents makes me want to claw my skin off. That's just... that's so accurate as to how awful parents are around the public eye. They're just... good people, would never hurt their kids, so sad they've lost out on things, and yeah. Like, it's just something I never picked up on before. Tam and Linh are severely traumatized by their parents. And in the first scene you meet them, the Songs are nice people. Reasonable. Their children ran away. Don't you feel bad for them?

No, I sure the heck don't. <3

Fitz listens to his dad's secret conversations. No thoughts, just a comment.

Emperess Pernille and Oralie are best friends someone please write me a fic

Okay I have so many thoughts about the end of Lodestar i don't even think i want to write them in this post because it's just so very much to think about

i suppose i can try to summarize?

every other species(sans gnomes) commits murder under elven standards.

the summit was right to listen to Fintan Pyren.

The Council and The Black Swan do not listen to the Neverseen and try to fight them without knowing what they want, really.

Fintan says the problem is humans, but talks like they are really the solution, the catalyst, the final piece to the puzzle, the way to connect all the dots.

anyways this book screwed with my head and i equally never want to touch a volume again and immediately begin Nightfall just so i can kiss Keefe full on the mouth for existing in person again.

[miyaagis]

lake shore drive

there's a road i'd like to tell you about, lives in my home town. lake shore drive the road is called and it'll take you up or down. from rats on up to riches fifteen minutes you can fly. pretty blue lights along the way, help you right on by. and the blue lights shining with a heavenly grace, help you right on by

+ pairing. bokuto k. / fem reader / kuroo t.

+ word c. 1k

+ warnings. dubcon, use of drugs (lsd) and alcohol, manipulation, exhibitionism/public sex, college au, implied voyeurism and bad tripping

+ author's n. hii, this is my piece for the intoxicated collab !! dont forget to check the other authors ♡ this isn't a song fic btw i just used it as inspo...and title...and summary (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)

you knew it was a bad idea as soon as you accepted, it screamed nothing but bad news when bokuto asked you —of all girls on campus— out on a date. red flags flashing before your eyes when he told you you were going to meet his friends by the lake instead of eating at the restaurant he had promised you.

three men, kuroo, konoha, and lev were their names; waited for you as they stood by their car on an empty road.

but it had been even a worse idea to accept the little paper square with a happy face printed on it.

one hour later and you were by the outskirts of the city, the scenery greener with dense trees and mountains replacing the urban setting. with the windows rolled down, the cool wind blew harshly against your hair and it helped soothe the heat in your face, a dopey smile sitting on your lips as you watched the blue lights dance across the sky while they illuminated your eyes.

“c’mere,” kuroo’s raspy voice spoke in your ear, his nose nuzzling against your face, “having fun?”

“did you see the lights? they look so so pretty!” 

the awe in your voice was clear, wonder shining in your blown-out pupils as you swore the stars talked to you. with their enchanting colours and the scent of white and blue clouding your sense of smell, the sound of the universe calling your name flowing in front of you and, at the same time, the earth pulling you into its depths.

you were soaring, absorbed in the momentary bliss.

bokuto’s hand sat on your thigh, his mouth busy kissing your shoulder, “not as pretty as you.”

you were suddenly hyper-aware of the two men sandwiching you between their weight, bokuto rubbing slow circles on your thigh as kuroo placed light kisses on your neck. their breaths were loud, overshadowing the music playing on the radio and your own rapid heartbeat.

“w-wha–”

“shh, relax or you’ll end up having a bad trip.” kuroo murmured, lips moving down to your shoulder.

his hand snaked down your body, two fingers slipping past your waistband and going straight to your folds. after collecting a bit of wetness, he moved them back up and began to draw small circles on your clit.

a needy whine left your mouth, “they’re gonna… see.”

but when you looked at the front of the car, konoha and lev seemed so far away, so out of reach. they surely wouldn’t notice, right?

“let them.”

and so you did.

meanwhile, bokuto’s hand wrapped around your wrist, placing your palm on top of his erection, “baby, you got me so hard,” he whined against your neck, “help me?”

seeing him so needy made your core throb, lust making your brain go haywire, especially with kuroo’s fingers buried in your panties.

as soon as bokuto saw you nod, he pulled his zipper down and freed his cock from his boxers. the head was already leaking pre-cum causing your mouth to water.

after licking the palm of your hand, your fingers wrapped around his length, the both of you groaning at the same time but for different reasons.

kuroo had slipped a finger into your hole, pushing it between your tight walls and massaging them with the pad of his finger.

“so wet,” he said, voice heavy with arousal, “can’t wait to have your sweet pussy on my face.”

you clenched at his words, your hand unconsciously going faster.

“s-slow down,” bokuto breathed out, his flushed cheeks matching the colour of the tip of his cock. once he felt your pace decelerate, he allowed his head to rest on your shoulder, “mhm, that’s better. fuck, you’re so good at this.”

the time passed—hours or minutes, you weren’t sure; and at some point bokuto moved a hand up to your breast, massaging and pinching your nipple through your clothes while kuroo attached his lips onto yours. it was as if your tongue melted with his, moving together just as he slipped a second finger in, the coil in your belly tightening slowly.

“feels so good,” you moaned against his lips, biting your bottom lip when his thumb moved to your clit, “mm fuck– f-faster.” 

“you’re gonna cum, sweetheart? don’t fight it,” he encouraged you, “let me see how pretty you look cumming for me.” 

once the pace of his thumb on your clit increased, the coil snapped and morphed into raw bliss. your senses drowned under the euphoria, your pussy drooling all over kuroo’s fingers as he made you reach another form of high. 

“shit, baby. i’m gonna– fuck, gonna c-cum.”

you observed bokuto’s cock twitch in your hand, thick cum spurting out of it and falling on his lap as he continued cursing and squirming in his seat. it was mesmerizing how you could hear his cock pulsate, the white liquid luring you in and, after a quick lick at your hand, its taste exploding in your mouth once it hit your tongue. 

but then it got quiet, way too quiet that you were able to hear the distinctive click of the seatbelts from the front seats. panic began to bubble in your chest when you realized you weren’t moving, the car parked on the side of the road with nothing but darkness and eerie silence accompanying you.

twisted shadows surrounded you, the two men beside you too immersed in their own highs to notice. with a glance at the front of the car, you suddenly remembered you weren’t alone.

but it was the sight of the other two pair of eyes, already looking at you through the rear mirror, what made your blood run cold.

taglist. @cyb3rbab3​ @tsumue @kageyama-i-want-tobiors​ @lets-go-datehoe​ @newfriendjen @oneholetickler​ @kageyamakock​ @idiotgu​ 

[flamingo-writes]

It's Better When The Sun Goes Down — Nanami x Reader

This is a piece for the Anilysium Server NSFW Collab! Make sure to check the masterlist to see other writer's works! This month's prompt was: "I can't hold back anymore"

I'd like to dedicate this fanfic to one of my dearest and closest friends. I'm not a Nanami simp myself, but they are. And I have fun writing for Nanami, and also I love writing angsty things and flawed characters. Reg, I hope you enjoy this as much as you enjoy my more casual writing.

(it's pink bcs youre Chancho)

Word Count: 5.4K

Warnings: Mentions of breakup and heartbreak, alcohol and drug consuption, public sex, ghosting, lots and lots of angst. This does not have a happy ending. This is also non proof read bcs I kinda left it to the last minute I'm sorry, I'll go back and edit it when I am not in a rush dcj nd

Summary: Nanami’s return to the Sorcerer life wasn’t so bad. It could be better if Gojo wasn’t determined to get him back with his ex. As Nanami tries to get on good terms with them, things get out of control, only to end up where it all began.

I made this playlist while writing, in case you wanna listen to it while reading. Preferably listen to it without the shuffle, but you can hear it on shuffle, no biggie.

Nanami had forgotten how painfully unbearable Gojo could be. His return as a Sorcerer had been nothing out of the ordinary for a Sorcerer's standards. Missions here and there, or watching over some of Gojo's students. But God, he had surely stepped out of the line this time.

He couldn't even begin to explain how much he hated his current situation. Fighting by your side for the first time in years felt like rubbing hot oil on an open wound. The uncomfortable ignoring the elephant in the room between you two, as you two tracked and fought what felt like a million Curses.

When the adrenaline was at its peak, it felt almost nostalgic; though he'd then remembered everything else and immediately made his own reality bitter and awkward. Overshadowed by the advantage of years of experience ahead of him made him resent you even more. He knew it was childish and pointless to keep remembering everything that happened between you two, but that bittersweet memory would most likely keep him at bay.

You were still strong, witty, fearless, reckless and quick to act and defend yourself. The way you moved looked more swiftly and coordinated than you did back in your student days. Almost as if you were a professional dancer. He hated every bit of it. He couldn’t stop looking at you, thinking about you, and the possibilities of what you two would have become.

After the mission was over, no words were exchanged between you two. Aside from the: "Are you alright?" He told you as you simply gave him a thumbs up as you caught your breath drenched in sweat. An entire ride in an uncomfortable silence, until he reached the school and you got out of the car.

"Thanks. You did a great job. Keep it up" You said. Cold, and straight to the point. Closing his car door before he could reply. And soon, you were gone.

As Nanami tried to get his mind off the mission, Gojo made it difficult. He called him to ask for the details of the mission. He seemed amused and intrigued, as clearly you hadn't told him shit. And honestly, he could understand why. Gojo was meddling on things that weren’t his business, and things that had died a long time ago.

"Why are you interrogating me, Gojo?" He asked as he pressed hisnfingers on the bridge of his nose. "Ask your underling…"

"Because that jerk left for the bar as soon as they arrived" He explained. "And I know better than to annoy a drunk [Name], It took me a while but...I finally learned my lesson" He chuckled. “I knew they could hit hard, but damn, I had a big ass bruise…” Nanami could almost hear his stupid grin.

"You make it sound like it's a recurrent event" Nanami pointed out, slightly surprised as he didn't know you were a drinker.

"Oh, Nanami-kun, you really know nothing huh?" Gojo said, smiling widely as he had managed to manipulate Nanami into asking.

"Know what?" Nanami hissed as he now swore he could hear Nanami creepily grinning at his phone.

"No, nothing!” Gojo said as if it were nothing; trying and succeeding at peeking at Nanami’s curiosity “I'm not gonna talk over depressing things on the phone. Gotta go, bye! Kith kith, Kento-kun" Gojo sang and hung up, as he smirked, proud of his little mischief. He sighed deeply as he stretched in his bed. "Soon, those two will be back together" he smirked to himself.

Nanami hissed a curse under his breath as he locked his phone and threw it on his bed and went to the kitchen. If he had understood well, Gojo had just hinted at a possible drinking problem. He tried shaking his mind off of it. You couldn't, could you? You weren’t a drinker...You weren’t the last time he saw you. You were able to party and have fun without having to intoxicate yourself.

You were wild, cheerful, unpredictable. Everything he was not. And that’s what had made him fall in love with you back in your school days. You were so laid back, he could feel it permeating into him when you two hung out. The few times he’d broken rules was because you’d been the bad influence, however, you somehow managed to get away with it, and leave him with some distant memory in which he felt actually glad to be alive. He usually felt like he was walking on a cloud stuck in time, being present and enjoying the little things that made his everyday memories.

He’d really screwed up after breaking up with you...if he could call that a breakup... His life took a dramatic turn. And then, he turned his back to this world, and got immersed in the gray life the average man in Japan had. Away from what he's familiar with, away from his friends, away from you.

And now, apparently, you had a drinking habit. He wondered if he had caused it, or if he was one of the reasons behind it. The guilt started creeping in. The same guilt and regret he felt after ghosting on you. Not being able to bring himself to properly end things with you.

The guilt he’d managed to swipe under the rug for so many years creeped back out, and followed him around as the afternoon went by. After having a shower, changing into more comfortable clothes and in a lame attempt to cook dinner, he decided to test his luck. He put on a dark button down shirt and decided to go to the bar closest to the School. He felt the naive hope to find you there. However, if you had an actual problem, then his chances to see you there were higher.

Such was his surprise to find you there, trying to get rid of some insistent guy who kept talking to you despite your very obvious lack of interest. Before you could spot him, he watched you aggressively turn to the guy and talk to him in a rather rude tone. Sounding almost like a moody sailor as the guy’s face soon was washed with horror and disgust and walked away. As you turned your face back to your drink, your eyes scanned the bar, finally spotting him.

“Oh god” You whined as you pulled the glass to your lips. “It’s too early to be this drunk…” You hissed.

“Mind if I sit here?” He asked, pointing at the chair in front of you.

“Tell Gojo to go fuck himself…” You snapped at him as you stood up and stumbled your way to the bar asking for a refill. Nanami looked at you, feeling slightly sorry for your tipsy state, as he’d never seen you like that. And he knew being mad and drunk was never a good combination. As you turned around with your glass and made your way back to your table, you gave him a slightly repulsed smile. “You’re still here…”

“Gojo didn’t send me here, if that’s what you’re thinking” He replied.

“He might as well have manipulated you into doing so, has that crossed your mind?” You said with a sassy tone as you sat back down. “Why are you still standin’?”

Nanami took that as an invitation as he ignored your last comment, trying to refuse the idea that Gojo had manipulated him.

“Rough day, huh?” He said as you nodded and stared at your drink.

“Look, Kento. I’m glad that you’re back. I really am. You’re strong, and you’re smart…” You began. “But I’m gonna cut the chase, I’m kinda annoyed too. Ever since you got back, Gojo has been sticking his snobby nose into my business” You explained. “Many of the missions he sends you in, I’m supposed to be there as well, but manage to get busy by then and not go”

“So you’re actively avoiding me?”

“Yes” You replied bluntly. “Mostly because Gojo is trying very hard to bring us back together. But no, I learned my lesson the first time” You said taking a sip to your scotch, feeling it smoothly sliding down your throat, no longer feeling the burn from the alcohol.

“I haven’t apologized for that…” Nanami began.

“Don’t” You interrupted him. “It’s better this way”

“Are you sure? Because you still seem to have an issue with it…” Nanami said, managing to read you like an open book like he always did. He still had that ability.

You glared at him, angrily as you opened your mouth to snap back at him, but your mind was foggy and a big portion of your brain was focused on the little details surrounding him. His black shirt, the first buttons undone. His thick wrists, one of them hiding underneath a fancy looking watch, his blond hair pushed back, his sharp features...And god, his smell. The smell of his cologne luring you in like a fly to honey. Since any words made it to your mouth, your next step was to take another sip.

“You’re drinking too fast” He pointed out.

“None of your business” You said standing up and taking your wallet out and leaving a few bills on the tale. “I’m out” You said coldly and walked out of the bar.

Nanami sighed, frustrated that he hadn’t managed to get anything out of interaction. Aside from the pretty clear fact that you disliked him. However, he didn’t think of the possibility of you resenting him so much because you still had feelings for him.

As you walked out of the bar, the chilly wind hit the back of your neck, making you shiver. You cursed, knowing it was going to make you feel drunker faster. You made your way to the school with long steps, trying to make it to your dorm before your last drink made it to your head. Despite the cold wind, the hot tears in your eyes in a way kept your face warm. As you tried to keep yourself from crying, you heard steps behind you.

“Wait” You heard Nanami’s voice calling behind you as you stopped on command, against your own will. You swallowed the lump on your throat and managed to keep the tears still in your eyes, as you refused to look at

him. “At least let me walk you home. You can’t walk on your own like this…”

“Oh, so now you care?” You said turning around and looking at him, giving him a smug smile. “You’ve changed” You scoffed bitterly.

“Please” He said, knowing better than trying to argue with you.

Your stare on him softened, as something within you urged you to say yes. To have more time with Nanami and maybe cling to the bittersweet memories you were constantly reliving since his return.

“Fine” You said, very much to his surprise. He smiled and walked closer to you with the gentle smile that had been haunting your dreams as of lately.

“C’mon. My car is not far from here…”

You stopped coldly as he mentioned a car. Taking a second look at him, you wondered how much he’d changed. He’d become an adult through and through, hadn’t he? While you were still a mess...Or so you thought. To Nanami’s eyes, you were a far better sorcerer and warrior than him. And he envied you for it.

“Are you actually going to take me to the school?” You asked, suddenly growing suspicious of him, as you’d had plenty of experiences with strangers on the street and knew better than going into someone’s car in a drunken state.

Not that you didn’t trust Nanami. You didn’t trust yourself drunk.

“I was actually thinking of taking you somewhere for dinner and then to the school” He said.

“Not hungry”

“No, but you’re drunk. It’ll sober you up, and tomorrow morning you’ll thank me when you wake up without a hangover” He said as he walked towards his car.

“I don’t have any more money on me” You lied, looking for an excuse to avoid spending any more than necessary with him.

“I didn’t ask you if you have money” He said boldly as he managed to make you smirk for the first time since his return.

“Smooth, Nanami. You’ve grown” You said as you followed him.

The walk to his car felt like your chest burnt far more than the alcohol ever did. It felt bitter, it hurt and was nauseating. Was it really it, or was it the alcohol finally catching up with you? Like flashes of instant memories being erased from your memory, the drive to a restaurant felt like a poorly edited foreign film. The car felt like some intense themed park ride as you felt dizzy with the alcohol whispering everything you missed about him. It was gross and it was sickening.

The Ramen sign on the outside on itself managed to sober you up a little by taking your mind off Nanami. As you followed him, clumsily standing on your feet, you sat on one of the tables and tried to make sense of the dancing letters in the menu. More flashes of memories were taken off your head, as you wondered what was happening and how drunk were you for you to start blacking out.

“Not good…” you muttered under your breath.

“Did you say something?” Nanami asked.

“No. Nothing”

“How are you holding up?”

“I’m not”

“You’ll feel better in a bit. Don’t worry…” He said softly as he sipped from a soda you didn’t know he had. When had he ordered it? You looked in front of you to the nice surprise that you had one too despite not knowing how or when. “I ordered some ramen for you. Something spicy...It’ll sober you up faster”

You chuckled as you looked at him.

“And how do you know that?” You asked with a cheeky tone as he smiled softly.

“Went drinking a lot with friends from work” He said. “I learned a few things here and there”

More brief black outs kept lazily painting a rather miserable painting in your memory. As you ate your ramen, you found yourself relaxing more and more. Was it the hot spicy broth? In the beginning, the balck outs weren’t getting any less frequent, however, as the night went by, you found yourself sobering up like he said. Soon, the black outs were gone, however you were still somehow locked in a haze. Although it made sense. The amount of booze as well as the short time, it was going to take a lot more than just one hot bowl of spicy ramen to get you back to a sober state.

The conversation kept flowing comfortably as both of you ate. It was reminiscent of the old days, nostalgic and somehow morbid. As the both of you tried to grasp at the old days when your worries were limited to school work. Catching up like old friends who hadn't seen each other, as if you didn’t have hard feelings for each other.

After having finished your food, Nanami paid for both of your meals and went back out into the cold night. The sky black, stars hidden by the streetlights as you made it to his car and finally noticed the silver color in it.

As he drove back to the school, you noticed he took a small detour, instantly setting alarms in your head.

“Where are we going?” You asked, your voice considerably serious as he noticed the change in tone from the pleasant talk they were having in the restaurant.

“There’s somewhere I’d like to go…” He said as he briefly looked at you and gave you a tender smile.

That smile made your heart uncomfortably skip a beat as you hated the effect he still had on you. You didn’t dare to ask any further as you slowly recognized the route he was taking. As he slowly took one of the roads towards the edge of the city close to the coast line. He stopped in a rather deserted place, as he got off the road and stopped the car.

Despite the lack of light, aside from the few streetlights, you knew exactly where you were. A whole in your chest opened dramatically as you felt your eyes tear up and happy memories attached to the location flooded your mind.

“Kento…” You said chuckling bitterly.

“When I said I wanted to apologize, I meant it…” He said as you clenched your jaw and looked out your window, avoiding his stare.

“And I told you I didn’t want to talk about it…”

“You’re still upset about it, I get it. And I don’t blame you” He began as he felt his heart beating hard in his chest. “Look at me, please”

You wanted to say something to him. But you knew you would break down crying as soon as you opened your mouth. You took a deep breath and without saying anything you looked at him. His dark brown eyes gazing into yours, as he was looking at you with a rather pained stare.

“You remember this place, don’t you?” He asked.

A bitter laugh escaped your lips as you clicked your seatbelt, getting it off.

“I’m done” You said dryly as you opened the door and got out of the car.

“No, [Name]. Please, wait” He said as he mirrored your movements and excited the car walking around it.

“Of fuckign course I know where I am, Kento” You barked as you walked away approaching the door. “I know where I lost my fucking virginity, okay?” You barked as you stopped coldly and looked at him, tears finally streaming off your face. “Look, I’ll make us a favour and summarize this conversation. Yes, you’re a fucking asshole for just taking off one day and completely disappearing. Yes, I’m still mad about it. No, I won’t take your apology. No, I don’t care about whatever shitty excuse you have for me to listen to you. You bringing me here out of all places isn’t going to change shit…” You spat all in one breath as you stopped and took a deep breath.

“I loved you, Kento. I really did. And it hurt to have you just dissipate like you were a hallucination or something...You were my first kiss, my first love, my first everything! And one day I lost all of that. You ruined sex for me!” You yelled angrily. “I could never hold, kiss or sleep with anyone, because at some point I’d see your stupid face, and then be incredibly underwhelmed because I would not enjoy sex. I can’t feel anything anymore, Kento...The only way I can actually enjoy those things is by getting drunk or high” You admitted. “I can’t walk into bookstores, nor eat sandwiches or diet coke, nor drink tea because all those things remind me of you. And yes, it’s lame that all these years later I still care about those things. And this is why I can’t forgive you” You cried, as your voice shook.

Nanami’s heart broke little by little at each one of your words. He knew he’d screwed up and had hurt you deeply. But he wasn’t aware of the actual impact. He clenched his jaw as he felt his chest tight and a lump on his throat. Now the drinking problem made sense. Gojo had painted it like you were an alcoholic, but it wasn’t exactly the case. So you’d gone to the bar to get it off with some stranger, probably pretending it was him.

The dizzying pain and weight of his mistakes blinded him for a second as he walked towards you as you kept bitterly complaining. As you tried to walk away, you made a very poor effort as he caught up with you and cupped your face in his hands, bringing you closer to him and shutting you up by pressing his lips against you.

The sudden surprise made your heart stop. Your mind turning numb and blank at once as you struggled to bring yourself to push him away. However, truth be told, you didn't want to push him away. The poor attempt to push him away was more than obvious. The strong fighter you were, barely making any physical effort. Nanami's hands wrapped around your back and pulled you close, squeezing you against him as he sighed into the kiss.

Finally kissing him back, you locked your lips against his desperately, eager to taste the lips you've been dreading in your dreams. Clinging to him like he was going to disappear again, a soft whimper escaped your mouth. Your chest pressing against him as he felt his own world getting blurry.

He broke the kiss pulling away as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“You have no idea how much I missed you” He whispered as you clung to him.

“I-I…” You stuttered, the words tasting bitter before they even made it to your mouth. “Fuck, I want you, Kento” You growled as he pulled you in, kissing you hungrily again.

His hands posessively clinging to you as he slowly guided you back to the car. One step at the time as you both melted in a hungry sour kiss. As you ran out of breath, you pulled away, gasping for air as you gripped his collar in your hands.

“I can’t hold back anymore” You said as you pulled away and grabbed his hand, walking back to his car.

Your words unleashed a shiver down his spine as his heart skipped a beat and raced like crazy, as his pants started feeling tighter on his crotch. He chuckled softly as he realized his own judgement seemed to have disappeared with that first kiss. And before you could even make it to his car, he gripped your hips and spun you around as he bumped his forehead against yours.

“I can’t either” He admitted as he guided you to the car’s hood and pulled you over it. Ass you sat on the warm hood, he got between your legs and you wasted no time wrapping them around his waist. He grunted softly feeling your crotch against his as you pulled him closer to seal your lips together.

As you soon were absorbed by the dizziness of your rising heat, his hand went to your bare thighs as he slowly caressed your skin, going up and lifting your skirt up in the process. A soft moan slid into his mouth as he gripped your ass softly and squeezed it. The way your skin got covered in goosebumps and how you jerked your hips made him moan in response.

It felt good, and intoxicating. The driving desire burning his insides. The feeling of desiring to taste you all over and have you shaking underneath him. God, he’d missed that particular rush of adrenaline. His body reacting to the deeply buried memories now loose. He felt like he was in the best high he’d experienced. Lightheadedness and presence in the moment, he hadn’t felt this alive in so long.

Your hands were slowly undoing his buttoned shirt and were quick to explore his warm skin. He pulled away from the kiss, gasping as he looked at you. Your devilish smile matching your hungry stare. You leaned forward kissing his neck, nibbling on his skin every now and then. His hand gripped your hair tightly, pulling it lightly, making you look up at him as he stared at you.

He leaned forward, kissing you once more, this time a lot more slow and a lot more tender. It was sweet and it was slow and it took you by surprise. You felt his sweet kiss begging you, still holding on to the feelings you both decided to drown unsuccessfully. It almost hurt. It was the kind of kiss that told you how much you missed and needed each other. How much you regretted the mistakes you’ve done.

As you melted against his lips, his hands slowly slid your panties off. You helped him lifting your hips a little but as you giggled against his lips.

“Eager?” You said with a playful smirk.

“You have no idea” He replied as he took off your panties and shoved them in his back pocket.

His hand made it back to your thigh, slowly going up until he palmed your hot sex. Stealing a gasp out of your mouth, he teasingly ran one of his fingers through your dripping slit, making him smile satisfied.

“I’m not the only one, huh?” He said as you looked at him with lustful eyes.

You took his glasses off and set them aside. You were about to go back to kissing his neck when he slid one finger inside of you effortlessly. A rather loud moan escaped your lips as you shut your eyes closed feeling your entire body tingle in a way you hadn’t felt in years. You smiled satisfied as you continued kissing his neck. Slowly, he got another finger inside. The delicious stretch of his second finger prompting you to bite his neck softly making him growl your name softly. His fingers explored the whole he knew so well, as he found your sweet spot almost by muscle memory. More moans came out of your throat sounding like music to his ears.

“Fuck, Kento” You hissed as you took off your top, not caring that you were outdoors and by the road. Up to this point, you were so pent up, you simply craved him like you’d never craved anything before.

Nanami wasted no time and kissed your neck, going down to your neck, gently biting your skin every now and then. Sucking delicately on your skin, leaving marks that wouldn’t last long. He pulle dhis fingers out of you, clinging to your body desperately. As you laid on the car’s hood, you devoured him with your lustful eyes, begging him to get on top of you. Wearing just your skirt by this point, Nanami groaned at the plain sight of you.

He undid his belt and his pants. Your hands playfully teasing your own body in an attempt to drive him crazier and crazier. He cursed under his breath as he couldn’t take it any longer. He pulled his painfully hard erection out of his pants. You watched hi, intrigued, stretching your hands towards him, gently gripping his dick. His breath hitched and you smiled proudly.

Nanami leaned over the car hood, slowly getting on top of you, his shaft resting on your belly as he looked at how much deep could he go inside of you. His tip almost reaching you belly button, as the idea alone made a shiver run down his spine.

"Please, Kento" you gasped, need dripping from your voice as you caressed his dick

He growled softly as he pulled away softly, aligning against your entrance and slowly going in. You gasped, pushing your head back and pressing your hips against his making him go deeper.

Hissing your name, he jerked his hips, his tip.kissing your cervix as sudden rush of pain jolted through your body, followed by pleasure. You dug your nails in his shoulders as he thrusted back and forth, hitting all the right spots. The sound of his gasps and grunts hypnotizing as you got wetter by the second. His length coated in your juices, echoing in lewd wet noises.

He was rough. He usually was. Back in student days, he was particularly rough. As quiet and collected as he seemed, he sure got his stress out if his body through wild sex.

Relentlessly pushing against you, stretching you in such a delicious way only he knew how. Strong and aggressive movements as your walls swallowed him whole every time, breathless moans escaping your lips with every push. The cool wind kissing your skin, only enhancing his warmth.

As you felt your orgasm progressively approaching, the realization of how addicted you were to him hit you. He was everything you desired. And it was wrong. Before the feeling of uneasiness started to sink in, a sudden electric rush ran through your body. Painfully and soothing, as you tightly clenched around himbsoon numbed your mind.

As you came around him, your walls sucked him in tightly, as he was right over the brink, your velvet flesh pushed him off the edge. He didn't have time to pull out. And honestly, he didn't want to pull out. The way your walls milked him felt delicious. As he rode you through your orgasm, filling you up as his head felt dizzy and the world was spinning faster than usual. His hot seed coating your insides, as you shut your eyes closed, feeling the very last of your orgasm fading away.

He pressed his forehead against yours. Loud pants echoing.

However, the world didn't quite return to its regular focus.

The rest of the night went by in a fuzzy hot mess of events. You returned to his apartment and kept feasting on each other, making up for the lost time. Both of you incredibly starved and needy, you desperately went at it over and over again. It was a rather long night. As you feared, no one made you feel as he did. All of him was addicting. His smell, his voice, his warmth, his skin...It didn’t matter how many strangers you fucked, or how drunk or high you were, he felt just right. He made you cum so easily, it seemed ridiculous everyone else couldn’t.

But you knew it was far more than that.

You were still deeply in love with him. No wonder why he had that effect on you. Just hearing his breathlessly gasp was enough to have you soaking wet and under his mercy. Between sweet kisses, fake promises and sweaty sex, he quite literally fucked you to oblivion. Until either of you could take it any longer and you two fell asleep in each other’s arms. It had been a long tiring night, as you knew many of your muscles were gonna be sore the next day. Your chest painted in red and blue bruises.

It was possibly one of the best night sleeps he’d had. In such a long time. The uncomfortable hole in his chest didn’t feel so wide now. Just like you, he didn’t know how much he actually needed you until now. His regrets, his guilt, the thoughts haunting him on how much of a jerk he’d been when he simply took off...All those feelings went away for a night. As he tasted the wonders of the universe under your skin. Feeling ecstatic and euphoric for the first time in years. However, nothing could’ve prepared Nanami for what he was about to experience when he woke up.

~

“What the hell is this?” Gojo asked as he waved around the folder you’d left a few hours earlier in the Headmaster’s office.

“Why the fuck do you care?” You said as you grabbed it, ripping it off his hands.

“You’re seriously leaving for Kyoto?” He whined.

“So my transfer was accepted? Great!” You said sarcastically as you opened the folder and saw the Headmaster’s seal at the bottom.

“What about Nanami-kun?” Gojo replied as the very last string of your patience snapped.

“Oh, fuck you, Gojo! You tried to force us back together, but it’s not going to happen” You snapped. “I’m done. I’m done with him, and I’m done with you sticking your nose in my business”

“Do you really think that running away will solve anything? You’ll still be depressed as hell”

“The less I know about him, the better” You said as you turned around, hot tears blurring your sight as you headed with long steps towards your room. “I don’t trust myself around him…” You whispered. “He’s my weakness Gojo, I can’t let that happen…” You said coldly.

You’d left that morning very early, before Nanami woke up. And you left leaving no trace of you ever being there. Unintentionally doing the same he did. It was unintentional because you hadn’t done it out of spite. Your thought process had been simply. You preferred to not have that conversation and simply leave without him noticing. You had had the exact same thought process Nanami had had all those years ago.

You didn’t waste time and soon started packing your things to leave for Kyoto right away.

[shockinglysubmissive]

One Day Down

WARNINGS: Stripping, Fingering (Reader receiving), Squirting

This is my piece for @missuga Love and Lockdown Collab

WC: 2K

“One day down, 13 more to go. Care to play a game to kill some time?” Your boyfriend asks, looking through your closest of board games. The pandemic had shut everything down, and Kuroo was unable to take the bus back to his apartment, so you two were trapped together for the next two weeks. He doesn’t wait for your response, finding a box and tugging it out of the stack carefully. “How about this one? It will kill at least two hours.” He holds out Monopoly, a smirk spread across his face.

“No way Tetsu! You get way too competitive! We still have nearly two weeks together. We can’t start hating each other already.” Despite your disagreeing words, you start to clear off the coffee table in front of you for the board. He sits down across from you, using a pillow to make the hardwood floor more comfortable.

“Oh. You are so mistaken. It won’t be a normal game of monopoly. Oh no no no Kitten, this will be so much more.” His eyes narrow, sliding a piece of paper over to you. You unfold it and scan over it quickly.

Shoes: $50

Socks or Tights: $50

Sweater or Jacket: $50

Shirt or Top: $100

Pants or Skirt: $100

Dress: $200

Bra: $300

Underwear: $500

“Are… are you serious? Strip monopoly?” You can’t help but giggle as he starts sorting cards. You don’t notice when he slips a stack of cards from his pocket, mixing them into the stack until they are mixed in fully. “If you wanted to see me naked you could have just asked to join me in the shower.” You add.

“ But this will be so much more fun. Seeing you all angry, your pretty tits pushed together with crossed arms because you realize you have to sell your panties and lose the game.” He sets the chance cards on their spot and sets the player pieces out on the board for you to pick.

Your fingers trace the ship, smirking as you pick it up and hand it to him. “Here you can be the ship because you’re going down.” You flash him an innocent smile as he picks up the dog.

“Fine, but you’ll be this one because I’m going to make you my bitch.” He says simply, eyes shining with joking excitement. You distribute the money, rolling your eyes as you start the game.

After a few turns, you had to sell your shirt for money to buy a property, and Kuroo sold his pants to pay for landing on your space. On your next turn, you land on a Chance space. You read it and blush bright red, having drawn one of the cards he had slipped in.

“Money is tight. Give another player a lapdance to steal an item of clothing from them.” Not giving him the chance to tease you for blushing, you move to his side of the table, straddling his lap and give him a half hearted dance. Tugging on the bottom of his shirt, you pull it over his head and put it on yourself. “Thank you for your shirt. Looks like I am fully dressed again.” You take your seat on the other side of the table again. He blinks at you slightly taken aback. “What? I never said that I would make this easy on you.“ You look at him innocently, Adjusting his shirt, which is too big for you.

A growl rumbles in his chest. He knows that you are winning, that doesn't stop him from being competitive. “The game's not over yet. I said I would make you my bitch, and I still intend to do that. I'm just letting you win for the moment because you look so cute when you smile.” Although he is smiling, there is a bit of anger in his words. You have known him for years, and Tetsu can be very competitive. He enjoys being the cunning one who wins. He hates when you are able to beat him without even trying to.

“ Mm.. Ok whatever makes you happy. I’ll let you believe that you will win.” You count your money, and organize the properties that you have collected so far. Unaware of the anger filling your boyfriend, his dick hardens seeing his shirt slide down your shoulder some.

The game continues for many more turns, clothes being sold, but chance cards giving clothes back. In the final few turns, Kuroo buys hotels for his blue properties, and you land on them. One having $50, and your panties left, you had to give up, letting your boyfriend win. Despite getting exactly what he wanted, he didn’t look happy. Your arms are crossed over your chest, a small pout settling on your face wanting him to look at you. Instead he just packs up the game.

“What’s wrong with you? You won! You get to see me naked and you’re still huffing and pouting like a child. What more do you want?” You demand, knowing that this game would end poorly. He glances up at you, his expression is unreadable. He stays silent, still refusing to acknowledge you, a slight scowl on his face. “Kuroo! I knew this game was a bad idea. I’m just going to bed. You can sleep on the couch if you want to keep acting like this.”

“You’ve been teasing me this whole game.” He says simply. You look shocked. Of all the reasons for him to be mad, it was because you teased him. Your boyfriend is known for being a giant tease, and he can’t handle receiving any.

“Hate to break it to you, but you were taunting me way more than I was with you. You get too competitive.” You mumble, grabbing your clothes to get dressed again. “I played the game that you wanted! You always tease me, so I thought I could do the same. Guess I was wrong. I will give you your space.” Houses and hotels are scattered as he drops them to grab your wrist, pulling you to make you sit on your knees so that you can see how his boxers have a large spot of precum soaking through. You swear that you can see him throbbing, even though the fabric.

His grip tightens as he begins to speak. “Biting your lip while thinking, letting your tits bounce when you get excited, slowly sliding off every piece of clothing. Oh and let's not forget the way that your fingertips would absent-mindedly drift to your exposed nipples. You would play it off like you were playing with your hair, but I saw the way your breathing changed.” He leans his face closer to yours, letting his warm breath fan against your ear. “We have 13 days let before we can leave this apartment, and I intend to fuck you so good you can’t walk right until then, understood?” He whispers in your ear. You swallow hard and nod, knowing that he will do just that.

Even when the sex between you both is slow and full of love and passion, he never fails to leave you so fucked out that you lose all ability to think. Seeing the look in his eyes from wanting you so bad, you knew that you were in for a lot of aches tomorrow.

He shoves the remaining game pieces on the floor, setting you on the coffee table. Using the fact that you lost, and were fully undressed to his advantage, he settles himself on his knees between your legs. “Think you can take me, or do you need me to stretch you out?” His voice is gentle as his fingers trace along your already slick folds. Unable to wait for you to answer, he slips his long middle finger into you. A soft moan leaves his lips as you lift your hips to feel his finger deeper. His own need is overshadowed by the desire to make you cum.

“Want more. Please Tetsu. I want you to stretch me out.” Your voice comes out a bit whinier than you hoped, desperate to feel the deep feelings that only he can give you. Taking mercy on you, he slides his ring finger in, curling both until he finds your g-spot. He quickens his ministrations, savoring in the way you react to him. His cock twitches, but he ignores it, too lost in the moans coming from your mouth.

When his thumb starts to circle your clit, you instinctively try to pull away, feeling pressure building in your core. “Ah. No moving.” He presses down just above your pelvic bone, creating more stimulation against your sweet spot. You squirm even more, feeling as if you may explode if the pressure builds any more. “Let go baby. Stop holding back. Relax.” His lips graze down your inner thigh.

At his words, the pressure releases, and you soak his hand with your cum. Your vision blurs and your hands roam to find something to hold on to. Settling for gripping your chest, your hips grind weakly against his hand until you become too sensitive.

He finally removes his hand, fingers dripping with your cum. Popping his fingers in his mouth, he lets out a soft moan. “Fuck I will never get tired of how good you taste.” He leans down and laps at your cum soaked folds. His delicate kitten licks move to your clit and you try to pull away.

“Tetsu… I want you to fuck me. I want you to feel good too.” You tug his hair to pull him up to look at you, eyes begging him to stuff you full. He hesitates for a moment, wanting to continue tasting you, but also wanting to fuck you so hard that neither one of you can think straight anymore. “Baby.” Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and he is hovering over you.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you attach your lips to his, opening your mouth just enough that his tongue slips into your mouth. His tongue tastes faintly like your cum, and you can’t help but blush. You slide your hands down his chest, clumsily tugging his boxers down. Pumping his cock to smear the precum, you move to line him up with your entrance.

“My needy girl. Don’t worry. I’m going to make you feel so good. I’m gonna make you cum all over me.” He pushes into you with one fluid snap of his hips. Your walls clamp down around him, already trying to milk him for all the cum he has. “If you aren’t… fuck… if you don’t stop I won’t be able… oh god… to move.” He half begs, trying to keep control as he rocks against you.

“Can’t help it. You just feel so good in me. I want to cum around you already.” Your voice comes out as needy, body already teetering on the edge just from his tip kissing your cervix as he rocks against it. Still sensitive from your first intense orgasm, then his tongue teasing every inch of your pussy, you feel as if you could cum again.

“Not yet baby. Just hold off for a little longer. I want you to cum with me.” He grits his teeth as he builds up to a steady pace. Tears start to well in your eyes as it becomes almost painful to not cum. “It’s okay. Just breathe. It’s going to be okay. A little longer. It will feel so good when you finally cum with me.” He tries to calm your nerves, kissing away the tear that slipped down your cheek.

You cling to his shoulders, mind going numb, and only being able to think about how good his dick is making you feel. “Cum for me. Fuck.” His voice tugs you back to reality just enough to realize you no longer have to hold back. Creaming all over him, you moan his name against his neck, trembling in his arms as he fucks his cum into you.

It takes you both a few moments to come back down from your highs, suddenly aware of the discomfort you feel from the coffee table. “Game night was fun, but can we fuck somewhere more comfortable tomorrow?” You ask softly, giggling softly against his shoulder.

@bummie @izukine @writesmcgee

[lazyliars]

/rp

DreamXD actually slots very nicely into a working theory I've had for about two or so months now, mainly centering around one question:

What happened to Dream?

Namely, why did Dream change, when exactly did it happen, and was it solely an internal change, or was there an external force at play, specifically a preternatural one?

I think with DreamXD, we might finally have an answer.

Or at least some clues to follow. DreamXD presents a shift in every single paradigm the Dream SMP has had. Like, I think most of it is just being so utterly blind-sided by George Lore Real, but part of it is the massive ramifications of an Actual God* being present in the storyline.

((*On the other resident god of the server, Foolish:

DreamXD is different than Foolish, in that his characterization is so dramatically inhuman - Foolish talks and acts like a (somewhat eccentric) person, and his powers are, as far as we know, limited in comparison to the creative-mode godhood that DreamXD occupies. And whether that is because Foolish is not a "full" god (having been referred to as a demigod) or simply because he's spent so much time around humans, we don't know, but we do know that either way, DreamXD is NOT that.

DreamXD's voice is marked by glitches and dramatic shifts in tone, he seems to lack control over the different aspects of his personality, like the more "Dream" part vs. the darker one that threatens to eat peoples souls. The "normal" part even displays confusion when George references things that the "darker" part said, implying that it may not be fully aware of itself.

TLDR: Foolish acts more human than DreamXD, who has a very eldritch personality.))

To get right to the point:

The Dream we knew before November 16th, and the Dream we know now are not the same. Something changed, and it changed for the worse.

Consider: Dream was always antagonistic to the L'manbergians - he was always imperious to them, and he was responsible for starting a number of fights between his faction and theirs, just as many if not more than they were.

But, he was also not... evil. He'd pick fights with Tommy, the disc wars were still a thing, but the gravity of the spats they had weren't dire. They were fun. They were... actually a game. He wasn't like the way he is now. While in hindsight we can look at these events and detect a serious undertone knowing what's to come, at the time they were far from it.

There is an argument to be made that he had the same tendencies as now, just not expressed as loudly, and while I believe it's a valid argument, I disagree that it's proof of Dream always being the way he is now.

Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Sam. They all remember Dream as their friend - they remember someone who was, maybe a little aggressive and a lot competitive, but not cruel. Not needlessly murderous. Not someone who steals sentimental items and lines the walls of a disgusting museum to use against them.

Dream cut them out. Sapnap was totally blindsided. Bad doesn't seem to fully believe it. Sam blamed himself for not realizing and tried to take the weight of that crime on his own shoulders by becoming the Warden.

There's also the competing theory that what happened to Dream was purely psychological - either the circumstances slowly isolating him from his friends driving him to the do things he's done, or a desire for control that started early and continued to fester until it overshadowed everything else, or any combination of both.

And those theories are still valid, they could still be the case, but I haven't been able to shake the idea that there is something deeper at play. I can't overstate how the exile arc and everything after it have been so inhumane, so cruel, and... not exactly out of character in the sense that I could never see Dream doing them, but in the sense that I could never see him doing them for no reason.

And there really doesn't seem to be one. Dream says himself, it's like a game. He sees people as toys, puppets. And there just doesn't seem to be an inciting incident that could explain how he made the leap from semi-authoritarian leader who, despite being a warmonger, does love his friends, to heartless murderer who wants to reduce everyone he knows to dolls.

There's... ways, he could get there, but nothing that we've seen makes sense. There is a missing piece, something that must have happened from his POV that we didn't get to see because he doesn't stream.

And DreamXD could be it. This godly entity that claims that it is "a part of [Dream]" but that it isn't him entirely. That seems to share the lack of understanding of humanity that Dream has been displaying like when he asks if resurrecting Tommy was “cool.” But that still loves George. He still, despite apparently not having the same history as Dream, desperately wants to be George's friend.

If I had to pinpoint the moment Dream changed, it would be the day that he revealed that he switched sides, and was going to be fighting against Pogtopia. He was paid for this betrayal in the Revive Book.

I mark this as the turning point in my theory because it is the first time Dream mentions his affinity for chaos in the context of hurting others. However, we also know that this likely wasn't the day he actually made the decision to betray - as he revealed that there was a traitor among the Pogtopians, a fact that he likely would have learned before this.

Now, I mark George's lore stream as the introduction of DreamXD proper, and I want that on the record because it isn't technically his first appearance on the server.

Most people will remember him from Techno's stream, where he logged on to break the End Portal in a panic. I doubt the character was properly written into the lore at that time, but it fits neatly with the rest of what we know about him - a guardian of the server, and the keeper of it's rules. No contradictions.

What less people might know, is that DreamXD has made an even earlier appearance, and it's this one where things begin to get... interesting.

Around roughly October of 2020, Tubbo and Fundy did some improv'd streams centering around Demon Hunting, or rather, "Dreamon" Hunting, and it's during the first of these two streams that DreamXD makes an appearance.

The bare bones of it was - Tubbo is an experienced "Dreamon Hunter" and teaches Fundy his ways. They find Dream, and realize that he has a Dreamon inside of him, which is basically an evil version of him. They attempt to exorcise the Dreamon from Dream via various shenanigans, and eventually, they do a ceremony to free Dream. However, they apparently botch it, and unleash the Dreamon within. After more shenanigans, one attempt to fix it utilizing Fundy and Dream's wedding appears to work, but then DreamXD logs on, flys around at Tubbo and Fundy threateningly, and they end stream on the idea that there are probably more Dreamons to hunt.

Now. There's a lot to unpack here. I'm not gonna go into the nitty gritty details in this post, but I do recommend watching the Dreamon streams, as they have A LOT of details that, if this is getting incorporated into the main story line, could be important - especially the focus on duality, having TWO versions of Dream, which end up being potentially separated from each other.

(Also, they're just really funny streams. Tubbo and Fundy are at PEAK chaos and Dream plays along with their inane bit perfectly, it's just good content.)

At the time of the Dreamon streams airing, they were explicitly non-canon. IIRC Tubbo and Fundy referred to them as taking place In an “alternate universe,” which makes sense considering they would have been on opposite sides at the time (Manburg and Pogtopia.)

However.

And this is where I show you my wall of red string and newspaper clippings.

My singular piece of evidence for this comes from one line DreamXD drops. He simply says: “At least you're not hunting me.”

The Dreamon streams take place around early October. Dream reveals his betrayal of Pogtopia around November 6th-7th. The timeline of the Dreamon streams would line up perfectly with the idea that there was a catalyzing event that put Dream on the proverbial path to hell.

I do not believe that they intended the Dreamon arc to be anything other than a side story at the time, but considering that DreamXD himself was barely canon until now, I don't think it's out of the question that they took a look back at a fan-favorite minor arc, saw an opportunity to co-opt it into the current story line, and potentially fill in some holes regarding Dream's characterization all in one move.

On the question of whether this would be a GOOD storytelling move?

The Dreamon theories were prevalent during the exile arc, and I've got to say, I was never a huge fan. The detachment of Dream's actions from his intentions, and by extension his morality, never sat right with me. It feels cheap to make him a victim and say “a Dreamon did it!” in regards to all of the horrible things that he's done. It strips his agency and makes everything that happened less impactful in my opinion, and I stand by that reading.

BUT. With DreamXD introduced, I feel like it's necessary to look at this from all angles. And with the way DreamXD was characterized in George's stream, I don't think it necessarily ruins Dream's character to say that an external force was involved with his descent into evil.

Namely, the idea that whatever happened to Dream was not really a “possession” so much as a gradual loss of humanity, could be an interesting way to look at this. It implies that Dream was always capable of his actions, but grants us understanding as to why he would actually perform them, and why he might have become isolated enough from his friends that they would let this happen.

The Dream we know now could be an expression of his “worst self” brought to the surface by a Dreamon/DreamXD/other. It also begs the question of what would happen if that force were to leave him, and how it might cause yet another shift in character, especially if it were to be portrayed as less of a switch being flipped, and more of a withdrawal, with a gradual process of realizing how far gone he was.

To close this out, I've been stewing on the idea that Dream hasn't entirely been himself since the climax of the Exile Arc.

I think this theory holds water, but it's also not waterproof... there are plenty of holes, and a lot of that comes from the fact that Dream doesn't stream. We're left in the dark when deciphering his character, and what might appear to be the key, could just as easily be revealed as a red herring, or even nothing at all.

Regardless of the validity of the Dreamon theory, I think that DreamXD is one of the most interesting developments we've had on the SMP in a long time, if simply because his arrival coincides with fucking George Lore Real. God. I still don't know how to deal with that.

I always appreciate people adding to the discussion by the way! Feel free to reblog with additions if you like or leave them in the replies.

And if a single one of you comes to my blog on THIS. THE DAY OF MY DAUGHTER'S WEDDING. And calls ME a c!Dream Apologist to MY FACE..... I will be v sad.

[alinastracker]

hello my dear bonnie, if you're still taking prompts, can i suggest #47 👀 ?

LOVE THIS PROMPT!!! here you go my love<3

prompt: you’re casually seeing my roommate and think they’re in the shower when you strip down to join me and we end up screaming and my roommate thinks it’s the funniest thing and tries to set us up on a date

yikes at this going from a quick lil ficlet to 6.7k oof

would it be okay if i came home to you (explicit) (ao3)

Alina steps into the shower, wondering how the hell she ended up rooming with Zoya to begin with.

Don't get her wrong, she loves Zoya. But her raven-haired friend can be difficult, and she was supposed to have buffer. Originally, it was going to be her, Zoya, and Genya living together, until Genya backed out last minute to move in with her boyfriend David instead.

"I'm so sorry, but it just makes sense," Genya said to them over lunch one afternoon. "Besides, if things go how I think they will, you two will be on the same path that I'm on soon enough."

Zoya scoffed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Alina had the same question, considering both of them were hopelessly single.

Genya just sipped her tea and said in a sing-song voice, "You'll see."

At first, living with Zoya was fine. They agreed easily on most apartment related things; splitting up chores, rules about not touching each other's food, a timely heads up before having friends or potential sexual partners over. Zoya could get nit picky about a few things, like the lecture she'd given her on the proper position of the toilet paper roll. It goes over, Starkov, understand? Under is for heathens and natural selection is coming for them. But otherwise, things had been fine.

Until Mal.

He was a part of the friend circle she had surrounded herself with since freshman year. But there was something about Mal that had drawn her to him in a way that was different from the rest of the group — different from anyone else she had ever met. He was like a drug, a magnet, the missing link that had her saying, where have you been my whole life, when you're meant to be here beside me? So quickly he had become her closet friend, and as much as their group liked to tease them, they both denied feeling anything beyond fierce friendship.

But Alina was such a liar.

Which makes it her own fault, really, for ending up in this situation. Zoya could, quite frankly, be a bitch — but she wouldn't have gone after Mal if Alina had just owned up to her feelings.

Though she really could have told her about it sooner.

Alina had been studying in the living room one night when a knock at the door startled her. Zoya hadn't mentioned having company, and neither of them had ordered food. Hesitantly, she rose and stood on her tiptoes to peek through the peephole. Then her face lit up, and she swung the door open. "Mal!"

Saints, he looked good. He appeared freshly showered, dressed in a silky green shirt and dark jeans. He had actually put effort into his hair for once, and he had a small gold hoop earring in his left ear.

"Hey, Lina," he said, something a little off with the smile he gave her. As he passed by to come inside, she could smell expensive cologne.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, butterflies in her stomach. Her head was already filling with wild fantasies. He wanted to surprise her, so he showed up without notice. He put effort into how he looked, because he wanted to impress her. He was going to reveal his true feelings for her, and she would revel in the fact that he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

Instead, Zoya entered the room and said, "He's here for me."

Mal had the decency to flush and offer a sheepish shrug. "I'm gonna grab some water," he said, and scuttled off to the kitchen. Of course, Mal had been here plenty of times before. He knew where everything was.

Alina had barely heard him though, Zoya's words repeating on a loop in her head. He's here for me. She knew what this meant, even as her mind tried to deny it. The room was spinning and she couldn't quite steady herself, like something had broken inside of her.

She swallowed, and as calmly as possible, said, "What happened to the heads up rule?"

Zoya arched a brow. "I texted you two hours ago."

Alina frowned and pulled out her phone. Sure enough, there was a text from Zoya. Got a guy coming over in a couple hours. She must have missed it, lost in her studies. But still, something in the text ignited anger in her chest.

"You could have said the guy was Mal."

Zoya shrugged, so frustratingly nonchalant. "What does it matter?"

It matters because I am so hopelessly in love with him, and you're supposed to be my friend, and now I have to blast music so I don't hear the sounds of you two fucking, she thought.

"He's my best friend," she said. "It's just a little weird, I guess."

"Don't worry, Starkov," Zoya said, turning toward the kitchen, probably to grab Mal so they could get the night started. "It won't affect anything between you two."

Alina waited until the two of them were tucked away in Zoya's room. Then she pulled on her old running shoes and slipped out — there was just no way she could be here, knowing what was happening in the room across from her own.

She ran with no destination in mind, pumping her little legs as hard as they could go, music pounding from her headphones. When she became too tired to go further, she checked her surroundings and sighed. Of course, her feet took her to one of her favorite places in the city.

It's not anything, really. A quiet street with an old abandoned building at the end of it. But on the building's brick wall is one of her favorite pieces of art. A mural of the sun, complex in its simplicity, using colors she had never seen used to express the sun before, yet perfectly capturing the feeling of a warm sunny day.

Alina leaned against the wall, slid down until she was sitting on the old, cracked sidewalk. Only then did she realize that she was crying. Turning off her music, she called Genya, and told her everything.

"You have to talk to Zoya," Genya said.

"No!" she said quickly. "I don't want her to feel bad. It's not her fault. And if Mal likes her — well, it's not like he's shown any interest in me. I'm not going to get in their way."

"Alina," Genya sighed.

"It's fine," she promised. "I just—" A sob escaped her throat, the pain overshadowing any coherent thought. It was not fine.

"Send me your location," Genya said, and Alina did.

She spent the night at Genya and David's that night, David promising he was more than okay with taking the couch so her and Genya could have the bed. Which was needed, because Alina had a lot more crying to do.

"Just don't tell Zoya," she said.

"Alina, I don't know."

"Promise, Genya. Please."

Finally, Genya sighed. "All right."

That was four months ago. Zoya had told her it wouldn't affect her close bond with Mal, but it had. Alina never invites Mal over anymore, too afraid that he'll come to watch a movie, sit on the couch beside her — much closer than most friends sit. They would point out everything terrible about it, because they loved to watch bad films together as they stuffed their faces with popcorn. Then the movie would end and Mal would say goodnight, but instead of leaving, he'd go to Zoya's room, and the popcorn they ate would sour in her stomach.

There were so many little changes, too. Like when they hung out as a group, and suddenly Alina was questioning every move she made around him. Was it still okay to playfully ruffle his hair, to sit close enough that their shoulders pressed together, to look at him like he personally hung the sun and the moon in the sky, all while Zoya was there to see? Was it wrong to look at his lips and fantasize about how they would feel against her own, pressed to her collarbone, sucking her most sensitive spots? Zoya and Mal were a casual thing, they had both said so. But still, the natural intimacy her friendship with Mal had built for the past two years suddenly felt wrong, and she hated it.

Needless to say, Alina has been looking into new rooming possibilities for next year. She can't do this anymore. Every time Mal comes over, she waits for them to lock themselves away in Zoya's room, and then she leaves. She runs to her sun, sometimes just sitting and letting her sad song playlist make her sadder, sometimes bringing her sketchbook to at least make art out of the pain.

But tonight she has a very rare opportunity — the apartment to herself. Only for a couple hours, but still. She has spent most of the time so far blaring music, and her neighbors probably hate her, but damn it, they can deal with it for a night.

She lets the music play as she takes a much needed shower. Sure, she could have gone the bath route, but she doesn't want to waste all her time getting clean. Alina has decided her hours alone should end with a much needed date with her vibrator and an Owen Gray video that she's going to watch without headphones.

Olivia Rodrigo's Brutal is pounding from her speaker, and though Alina's twenty-one, not seventeen, the lyrics hit all the same. She's so into the music, thinking about her life for the past four months, thinking about moving as soon as she possibly can, thinking yeah, it really is fucking brutal out here, that she does not notice the telltale signs of someone entering her apartment, and even more worrisome, someone entering the bathroom. Not until it's too late.

"Thought you were too cool for Olivia Rodrigo," a very male voice says, and then the shower curtain opens.

Screams fill the air from both of them. Alina's already holding her conditioner bottle, and on instinct, hurls it at the man's chest while her other hand reaches for her razor.

"Oi!"

Only then does her mind register that it's not a strange man come to sexually assault her, it's Mal. Her best friend. Her roommate's casual lover slash fuck buddy slash whatever. It's Mal, completely naked before her. She gets a quick glimpse of his cock, half-hard, before he curses and turns around.

It doesn't help that his backside is just as nice to look at. He's well toned, muscles flexing as he reaches to grab the clothes he must have just discarded. He bends, giving her the most sinful view of his ass, and Saints, her mind goes wild. She pictures him turning back around and pushing her against the wall, slamming inside of her. As he fucks her, she would reach around and grab that delicious ass of his, dig her fingers into the plump skin, and leave little half-moon indents.

Mal is apologizing over and over again — "I thought you were Zoya!" — as he gathers up his clothes and makes a beeline for the door. Alina finally snaps out of her filthy fantasy and slides the shower curtain closed with a shaky hand. She leans back against the tiled wall, breathing hard. Her heart is pounding like never before.

The song is winding down. Olivia is crooning, God I don't even know where to start.

Neither does Alina.

~

By the time she musters the courage to finish her shower and leave the bathroom, her robe clutched tightly around her, there’s no sign of Mal in the apartment. Zoya isn’t back yet, either.

With a sigh of relief, she flops onto her bed. Her previous plans were out the window now. Taking a breath, she goes over the facts in her head. 

One: Mal has now seen her completely naked. 

Two: she has now seen Mal completely naked. 

It was the wrong thing to think about, because now she’s picturing the smooth expanse of his skin, his perfectly tight ass, and the quick glimpse she had gotten of his—

Heat pools between her thighs. She’s positively aching, when she should be feeling horrified. She should absolutely not be reaching for her vibrator as she lets the images of Mal’s naked body settle in her mind. It’s wrong, because Mal is, at least somewhat, Zoya’s, and Zoya is her friend. Besides, it was Zoya that he had come looking for, Zoya that he wanted to fuck against the shower wall. 

But Alina does grab her vibrator, and as it buzzes her to multiple releases, she imagines Mal shoving her against the wall, pressing kisses to her neck, fucking her like it’s his sole reason for existing. Fucking her like she’s his, and he’s hers.

~

She doesn’t see Zoya until the next morning, passing out sometime after orgasm number three. Saints, if the memory of Mal’s bare skin had been enough to keep her going for three rounds, she wasn’t sure she could even handle actually being with him. 

When she walks into the kitchen, Zoya is sitting at their tiny excuse for a table. “Good morning,” Alina says as naturally as possible. 

Zoya only says, “Sit down, Starkov.”

It’s unnerving, how quickly can could take over her entire body. Saying nothing, still going for casual, Alina sits across from her. “What’s up?”

“That’s my question, actually.” Zoya arches a brow. “What happened with you and Mal last night?”

Shit, shit, shit. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, I think you do. I know he stopped by before I got home. When I asked why he left, he got all weird and said something came up with Dubrov. But I know that’s a lie, because Dubrov was happily posting drunken stories last night. So obviously something happened when he was over.” Zoya sits back in her chair and stares her down, making her insides twist. “And since I don’t live with him, the only person I have to grill is you. So get talking.”

Alina sighs, knowing she isn’t strong enough to deny Zoya when she’s like this, and babbles out the story. Really, it wasn’t her fault. Mal was the one that walked in on her. It was just incredibly embarrassing for both of them. 

When she finishes, Zoya lets the information sink in, and then she laughs, harder than Alina has ever seen her laugh.

“Well I’m so glad this is funny to you,” she huffs, arms crossed over her chest.

“It is! I can only imagine your faces, shit.” Zoya wipes at her eyes. “Too bad you already know each other, that would make for one hell of a meet cute.” She pauses and says, “Well, it still could be your origin.”

Alina frowns. “Our origin?”

“You know, if you guys dated.”

She momentarily loses her breath. “What? No, you guys are a thing.”

Zoya rolls her eyes. “We’re fucking, Alina, that’s it. And actually, I was planning on cutting it off after last night.” She stands and pours herself what is at least her second up of coffee. “There’s someone else I’m interested in.”

“Someone else? Who?” Zoya says nothing. Alina pops up as it comes to her. “Oh! It’s that rich blond guy from the bar, isn’t it? The one that transferred here this semester. Nikolai or something, right?”

The tiniest blush spreads on Zoya’s face, and Alina squeals. “It is him! Saints, he’s attractive.”

“Yes, he is,” Zoya snaps. “And not bad for conversation, either.”

“Conversation?” She grins. “Why, Miss Nazyalensky, do you actually have feelings for this guy?”

Zoya scowls. “Shut it, Starkov.”

“Oh, you totally have feelings for him!”

“Keep it up and you will pay for this. I’m devising a plan as we speak.”

Alina just laughs. “Okay, Mrs. Whatever Nikolai’s Last Name Is.”

Under her breath, Zoya mutters, “Lantsov,” and stalks off with her coffee as Alina laughs harder. 

~

Zoya, apparently, hadn’t been kidding when she said she was devising a plan. 

When the weekend rolls around once again and Zoya texts the group chat they have with Genya about getting lunch, Alina jumps at the idea. She missed Genya, and it had been a hell of a week between juggling exams and thinking about her encounter with Mal. They haven’t spoken at all, and she had used her classes as an excuse to get out of any hang outs where he might show up. 

Zoya’s words from the morning after had been on her mind a lot, too. It still could be your origin. Could it? Was Mal even interested in her — and would he even want to try, after he’d had something with Zoya, or would it just be inevitably awkward?

Alina approaches the restaurant and sucks in a breath. She’s decided to finally tell Zoya about how she’s had feelings for Mal all this time, and maybe with her and Genya, the three of them can come up with what the hell Alina should do next. 

Zoya had texted five minutes ago saying she grabbed them a table in the restaurant’s outdoor patio, so she makes her way there. Only it’s not Zoya or even Genya waiting for her.

It’s Mal. 

He looks just as surprised to see her as she is to see him, and for a moment, she believes it really is some crazy coincidence. 

“Alina,” he says, standing. Neither of them can quite meet the other’s eye. “What are you doing here?”

Her hand is doing some nervous twitchy thing at her side, so she shoves it into the pocket of her dress. “I’m supposed to be meeting Zoya and Genya.”

Mal curses under his breath. “I’m supposed to be meeting Zoya, too.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Shaking her head and feeling incredibly stupid, Alina takes out her phone and fires off a text to Zoya, WHAT THE HELL????

The next message she receives comes from Zoya — only not in the text chat between the two of them, but rather a newly created group chat with the two of them and Mal. 

consider this the official end to our fuck-mance, oretsev. yalls little bathroom flash show was the perfect opportunity for a new beginning, because yes, i see the doe eyes you give alina when she’s not looking. you too, starkov. i’m sorry for getting in the way for so long. have a good date, no throwing bottles at each other xoxo

They finish reading at the same time, looking up from their phones, eyes meeting before flickering away again. 

Mal sighs. “I think I hate her.”

“I think I hate her, too.”

He scratches the back of his neck. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Alina bites her lip. Because he doesn’t want to do this, she thinks. “Oh, well, I guess—”

Mal cuts her off. “But it might be a nice chance for us to talk.” Her head snaps up, and this time when their eyes meet, neither of them look away. He smiles shyly. “I missed you this week, Lina.”

Her smile matches his. “I missed you, too.” 

They sit, and after the waiter takes their order for drinks and an appetizer for them to share — a sample platter, both of them too indecisive for any singular thing — Mal starts to stutter out an apology. Alina stops him with a hand on his arm. He looks down at where her fingers brush against bare skin, and she wonders if he’s thinking about all the skin they’ve bared to each other now. She certainly is.

“You don’t need to apologize, Mal,” she promises. “It was an accident.”

He shakes his head. “Still, I can’t imagine how terrifying that was for you.”

“Well, it was,” she admits, then adds, “at first.”

“At first?”

She shrugs, but says nothing, thankful for their drinks arriving to save her from answering. Because the truth was she had been scared for maybe three seconds. Once she had realized it was Mal, she’d only felt desire.

With their awkward shower encounter out of the way, they fall into fairly easy conversation, complaining about exams and projects, annoying classmates and neighbors. Soon enough, they’re back to being themselves. Alina pulls out her phone to show Mal all the memes and TikToks she had wanted to send him this week, and he does the same. Hours fly by without their notice, and now the dinner crowd is filing in. 

“Oi, I think our waiter is silently praying for us to leave.”

She laughs, pulling out her wallet. “Definitely.”

Mal waves her off. “Let me get it,” he says, taking his own wallet out. “I mean, since this is apparently a date and all.”

Alina hesitates, a little flutter in her chest even though he’d said it teasingly. “Okay, fine. But I’ll get the tip.”

“Deal.”

When everything is paid for, they stand. Going home is the last thing she wants right now, and not just because Zoya will be there. 

Mal looks ready to pull her into one of their standard hugs, but pauses. “Do you want to come over? We can find something shitty to watch. Mikhael and Dubrov will be around, but I just really don’t want to see Zoya right now.”

Alina smiles, the flutter in her chest returning with vigor. “Yeah, okay.”

~

At Mal’s flat, they settle onto the sofa together, close enough that their shoulders brush. Mikhael and Dubrov tease them about looking like lovebirds, but otherwise surprisingly leave them be. She doesn’t mind their company — but admittedly, she was glad they stayed to their respective rooms tonight. Mal puts on an indie horror flick that’s so bad it’s good, and they laugh and joke with each other throughout, per usual. 

About halfway through the film, they share a knowingly look — their that foreshadowing is so obvious, RIP to that character in twenty minutes look — and sport matching grins. But when the moment passes, neither of them looks away. 

“Alina,” Mal says softly, and her breath hitches. Has he ever said her name with such longing before?

His eyes flicker down — to her lips. She thinks of Zoya’s text then, basically calling both of them out for having feelings for each other. And while neither of them had confirmed it, they hadn’t denied it either.

Her heart is beating so fast. She gives him the tiniest nod.

Mal understands, he always does, and then he’s leaning in. Their noses brush before their lips do, and it could be silly or awkward, but instead it’s a different kind of intimacy she hadn’t known she wanted.

“Alina,” he breathes once more, and then he kisses her, so softly at first, it’s barely anything. Her stomach is doing cartwheels regardless. She takes initiative, kissing him back. Still soft, still careful, afraid that whatever this is between them is something fragile, something that needs delicacy. In some ways, it is. Her closest friendship, blossoming into something more. 

Mal lets out the softest moan, and it snaps something between them. 

He pulls her closer, his hand on the back of her neck, and now Alina is the one moaning, fervor replacing the softness, the delicacy. It’s the kind of kiss she’s been fantasizing about, made even better from how obvious it is that they’ve both wanted this for a long time. A desperate kiss bursting with desire. 

Alina shifts closer until she’s practically straddling his lap. Mal brings one hand to rest on her lower back, the other curling into her hair. His lips move to her neck, trailing down until he reaches her collarbone, where he nips and sucks, undoubtedly leaving a mark. 

“Mal,” she sighs, her head tipped back from the feeling as her hips roll against his. He curses against her skin. Her hands move to the hem of his shirt, ready to pull it off. 

All of a sudden, Mal pulls away, stopping her hands with his own. “Alina, don’t.”

She blinks her eyes open. “Do you want to move to your room?”

Mal bites his lip and shakes his head.

Alina frowns, any warmth in her chest turning cold. She quickly returns to her own side of the couch. “I don’t understand. I thought you wanted this.” Wanted me, she thinks but doesn’t say. Because he certainly had no issues with Zoya.

“I do!” he says quickly, taking her hand again and trying to pull her back. She holds her ground, pulls her hand out of his. “I do want this, Alina. Saints, I do. But this is technically our first date, right? I don’t want to do first date sex, not with you.”

Alina rolls her eyes, looking down and tugging at a loose thread on her dress. “Is this where you say something you think sounds respectful but really just puts down all the girls you have had first date sex with?”

“Alina, please look at me.”

Grudgingly, she does. 

“You’re different because you’re my best friend, and because I’ve been hooking up with our mutual friend.” She flinches, but Mal continues. “I don’t want you to think we have to have sex because of that. What I had with Zoya — it was good, and I care about Zoya, but it didn’t go beyond the physical. That’s all we wanted from each other. But that’s not all I want with you.”

Mal closes his eyes. Alina’s unconsciously holding her breath. He exhales and opens his eyes again, holding her gaze. “I want everything with you, Alina. I want your highs and your lows. I want to take you against the wall as much as I want to hold your hand.” He does so now, both of his hands around one of hers, and this time she doesn’t pull away. “And if you didn’t want to be physical? I’d still want you. I don’t want you to think there’s anything we have to do. That’s why I want to wait — even if I also want to take you to my room and pin you against my bed, too.”

“Oh,” she says, barely audible. Alina shakes her head, a little speechless. “I don’t know what to say.”

The corner of his mouth tugs up. “Was that too rom-com confessional?”

The tension breaks. She laughs and climbs onto his lap again, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You’re such a dork, but you’re the perfect dork. So we’ll wait.” She pauses and looks up at him with innocent eyes. “But will you kiss me again?”

Mal grins, pushes her down against the couch, and does just that. 

~

When she gets home, Zoya is waiting in the living room, reading a smutty romance book Genya had recommended. “Hey, how’d it go?” she asks, too casually to actually be casual. 

Alina ignores her and walks straight to her room. She’s decided to let Zoya sweat it out a bit for the weekend after her little stunt, even if it was successful. 

Though really, she didn’t think it would bother Zoya that much. Hard as steel Zoya, who never let anything get to her. But on Sunday, she bursts into Alina’s room, interrupting her studying. 

“Okay, I know you hate me now or whatever, but at least let me tell you that I’m sorry. I didn’t know how much you liked him, Alina. Not until Genya told me.”

Alina closes her book, frowning. “Genya told you?”

Zoya nods and sits at the end of her bed. “Recently, when I told her about Nikolai and that I was thinking about cutting things off with Mal. Don’t be mad at her, just be mad at me.” 

“Well—” she starts, but Zoya cuts her off. 

“And honestly? The worst part is, part of me did know. I saw the looks you gave each other, but I brushed them off because I was selfish and enjoying myself. I was a really, really shit friend to you, and I’m so sorry, Alina. You don’t have to forgive me, but I just—

Zoya stops mid-sentence, cut off by the laughter bubbling out of Alina. 

“Saints, I never thought I’d see the day that Zoya Nazyalensky grovels.” She shoots her a grin. “I accept your apology. And as much as I want to hate you for your meddling stunt, it worked, because we definitely spent the night making out. I just did the whole silent treatment to make you suffer a little.”

A moment passes — Zoya is completely still, too still — and then she grabs one of Alina’s pillows and smacks her with it. “You little rat!”

Alina only laughs harder, fighting off Zoya’s pillow attack with her hands. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say sorry non-sarcastically! You did so well, Nazyalensky!”

“And you’ll never hear it again! You’ve lost apology privileges! 

Eventually, Alina moves into the living room to study, and Zoya joins her. When their brains need a break, Alina tells her about her date with Mal, and Zoya tells her about her own with Nikolai. If this is their new normal, Alina finds that she really likes it. 

~

The next week is outstandingly better than the previous. She’s back to talking to Mal each day, even more than before. Halfway through the week, he sends her a song with the message, This song made me think of you the first time I heard it, still does every time. It has her heart beating extra fast as she listens on her walk to class, not only because it’s incredibly sweet, but because Mal has played this song for her before, months and months ago, which means he’s felt this way the whole time. 

Early Saturday evening, Zoya announces that she’s spending the night at Nikolai’s. “He has his own apartment, so it just makes sense. I’ll be home in the morning, probably.”

Thank the Saints for rich boys. 

She texts Mal, and Zoya’s barely gone for ten minutes before he’s there. They make dinner together — well, Alina sits on the counter while Mal does the actual cooking, but he spends any down time kissing her, so she likes to think she was the moral support. They eat on the couch, watching their favorite trashy reality television, and play a few rounds of Mario Kart afterwards. Really, it’s just like how things were when they were simply best friends, except now Alina drapes her body over his as they watch their show, Mal’s thumb moving in slow circles on her ankle, and instead of talking or playing on their phones during ad breaks, they pick up where they left off in the kitchen, their lips pressed together in a blissful ease. 

They’re on their fifth game of Mario Kart, Alina in the lead, as she has been every round. She’s bragging about how she’s going to beat him again when suddenly her vision is blocked as Mal presses his lips to hers. 

Her surprise doesn’t stop her from dropping her controller and kissing back. She’s just getting into the kiss when Mal pulls away as quickly as he had started the kiss. He stands, and only then does she see he never dropped his controller. Picking up right where he left off, he steers Luigi towards the finish line. (“Who the hell picks Luigi?” Alina had asked him once. To which Mal responded, “It’s not fair people only care about his brother when he probably works just as hard at their plumbing business. It’s just like people only knowing Adam Levine and ignoring the rest of Maroon 5—” which led to a very cute rant that Alina spent less time listening to and more time staring at his lips while he was distracted.)

Alina fumbles for her controller, but it’s too late. Mal hasn’t come in first — some of the computers still beat him. But he’s beat her, which by the smirk on his face, was his only goal.

“You’re such a cheater!”

“It’s not cheating, it’s strategy.”

“I suppose you need your strategy, since you don’t have any skills.”

Mal raises a brow, a devious look in his eyes. “Is that so? Perhaps I should show you my skills, then.” He moves in front of her and kneels on the couch, a leg on either side of her body, essentially pinning her there, and kisses her again. 

Immediately, she can feel the difference from the strategy kiss and even the ones from earlier that night. He’s kissing with purpose, cradling her face with one hand, the other on her waist, and Alina is melting against him. She is putty in Mal’s hands, his to mold how he pleases. 

He’s holding himself so that his weight isn’t pressing down on her, but that’s exactly what she wants. Her hips buck up against his, and Mal pulls back to moan, “Fuck, Alina,” so she does it again.

“Please tell me we can have second date sex.”

Mal chuckles. “Are we even going to bother with the dating process?”

“I don’t know, are we?”

“I don’t know. Do I need to ask you to be my girlfriend?”

Alina grins. “I wouldn’t mind hearing it.

“All right. Alina, my beauty, my beloved, will you bless me with the honor of calling you my girlfriend?”

Her grin widens, and giddy butterflies dance inside her chest. No, not butterflies — fireflies. She can feel their warmth and wouldn’t be surprised if she was glowing from their light. “Oh, I suppose.”

Mal laughs. “I can’t stand you,” he says, and kisses her again.

Alina returns the kiss for a moment before murmuring against his lips, “You don’t have to stand me, but now that you’re my boyfriend, can you fuck me?”

He practically growls as he says, “Saints, yes,” standing and lifting her with him. Mal brings them to her room, kissing her the whole way. He unceremoniously shoves her school books off of her bed, laying her down and crawling over her. “You don’t know how often I’ve imagined this,” he murmurs, lips on her throat. 

“Tell me,” she gasps.

“Every time I came over, Alina. Every time.”

A shiver runs down her spine. “Even when you were here to—”

“Especially then.”

She has no idea what to do with this information. Her head is empty of thought save for the screaming need for more of him, so she pulls his shirt over his head. This time, Mal doesn’t stop her. Her hands roam over all the places she’s been dying to touch; down his back, tracing along his spine, up over his stomach, fingers running along the muscles of his chest, brushing over a few scars he’s accumulated through the years.

“You’re so perfect,” she whispers. Smooth in some places, rougher in others, but so incredibly warm everywhere.

Mal tips her chin up, kisses her lips once, hard, and then another to her jaw, down her neck, her collarbone. Then he’s the one tossing her shirt aside, his lips continuing their decent. He’s pressing soft words into her skin as he kisses her — beauty, beloved, cherished, my heart —murmuring his love for her even as he brings her nipple between his teeth.

“Shit, Mal,” Alina breathes. Her hips keep bucking, far beyond her control. He chuckles, murmurs something along the lines of no patience, and quickens his pace. Soon enough, he’s got her undressed completely — which isn’t too unnerving after the shower incident. Any lingering nerves flee once his head is between her thighs. She’s suddenly very thankful Zoya isn’t home, because even though it’s never been a problem during sex before, she absolutely cannot control the noises she’s making — and she’s loud.

Mal returns to her with glistening lips. She kisses him and tastes herself, a thrill better than any rollercoaster. Her hands move to the waistband of his pants, giving a half-hearted tug. “Off.”

“So lazy,” he teases, unclasping the button on his jeans, tugging down the zipper. “I could always make you work for it.”

“Have mercy on me, Oretsev. I’m still recovering from the pleasures of your cocky mouth.”

He looks so proud of himself, she wants to kiss him just to wipe the smirk off of his face. “If you enjoyed my cocky mouth, just wait until you feel my—

“Do not finish that sentence.”

But then he’s pushing down his boxers, and all Alina can do is stare as the cock in question springs free. He’s fully hard this time around, and her thighs squeeze together at the sight. He watches her as she practically drools over his dick, his smirk becoming even, well, smirkier. She reaches out and curls her fingers around his length, giving him two quick strokes — both to clear the smirk from his face and because she so very much wants to touch him. 

“Fuck, Alina,” he hisses. He’s reaching for his jeans, probably to grab a condom from his pocket, but she grabs his hand.

“I’m on the pill, and I’ve been tested recently.” Of course, there’s still a slight risk. But it’s Mal — finally Mal — and she wants to feel every inch of him.

He pauses, then nods. “Okay.” Crawling over her, he takes one of her hands and intertwines their fingers. With his other hand, he grips his cock and drags the tip through her folds like the damn tease he is, eliciting needy mewling from her that he seems to enjoy. In her ear, he murmurs, “How do you want this, Alina?”

“I don’t want to be able to walk tomorrow.”

Mal chuckles softly, but the sound so close to her ear sends more shivers down her spine. “As you wish, moya solnishka.” My little sun.

She has only a brief moment to bask in the sweetness of his words before he’s slamming into her all in one go, anything sweet flying out the window. Mal keeps a steady rhythm while sucking on her neck, which is good, because all Alina can do is moan incoherently as her nails leave scratches down his back.

When he senses her getting close, Mal brings his finger to her clit, circling just right. “Saints!” she cries, and comes undone beneath him once again. But this time, she gets to watch him fall over the edge with her, his eyes so incredibly dark as he moans his release. He’s the only man she’s ever let come inside of her, and it feels very right that it’s Mal — she doesn’t want anyone else filling her like this, marking her in a sense as his spend drips down her thighs.

They stay like that for a while, foreheads pressed together, sweaty and sticky, but blissfully so. 

“So, is the sex still good on this side of the apartment?”

In answer, he dips his head and bites down on one of her tits.

“Shit, Malyen!”

“Ridiculous questions get ridiculous responses,” he teases, then wraps his arms around her, tucking his face into the crook of her shoulder. “You’re all I’ve wanted for two years, Alina, and this still beat my expectations.”

Smiling, she rests her chin against the top of his head. “Good. I would hate to have to start fucking in Zoya’s bed just because you like the airflow better there.”

“Smart ass,” Mal mutters, but he’s smiling. Then he says, "You know, this may not be my first time fucking in this apartment, but I’m still checking off a first tonight — of many, I hope.”

Alina rolls her eyes. “Yes, I’m aware this is your first time fucking me in this apartment, dumb ass.”

"That’s not what I meant, rude ass.”

She frowns. “Then what did you mean?”

He squeezes her hip. “It’s my first time spending the night.”

Her heart does a little jump in her chest, and she doesn’t even have it in her to tease that she hasn’t actually asked him to stay yet. But stay he does, though he gets her off a few more times before they pass out for the night — definitely beating her vibrator. One time it’s with his fingers, so incredibly long that she knows all her fantasies will involve the slender digits now. Another is after Alina murmurs about how filthy she is and that she really ought to take a shower. 

Mal waits long enough to join her that she starts to worry he hadn’t understood her intent. But then she hears his footsteps, and the shower curtain opens. There’s no bottle throwing this time, though she can’t say the same for the screaming. He steps into the shower, kisses her slowly, sensually, then pushes her back until she shivers from the feeling of cold tile against her bare skin.

“I meant to ask, you do know you have mirrors in here, right?” Mal murmurs huskily into her ear. She’s too disoriented with want to understand until he says, “I saw you staring at my ass last time.”

Then he slams into her, and Alina no longer has to imagine how it feels to be fucked against the shower wall.

[nobleclover]

Oh god. I try not to let this bother me, and I'm sorry for the rant, but it just annoys me when something original I made doesn't get as much attention as my Cuphead fanart. Like, just last night, I posted a doodle dump of my OCs and a Cuphead comic. Guess which one got the most attention? Yep, the Cuphead comic. I am glad to have finished both pieces, but it sucks that one got more attention than the other.

Heck, I've even seen this being prevalent in my recent original artwork, which garners not that much likes/reblogs or none at all. I even announced wanting to do an ask event with two OCs of mine but got very little interest.

I still love Cuphead for inspiring me to draw again, but I just hate how my CH fanart overshadows any other art I produce. Plus, I don't know if it's just the algorithm or something, but it could mainly be due to the hype surrounding Cuphead.

I really want people to look at my original content more, however because of this, as well as imposter syndrome, I feel hesitant to put anything original out sometimes for a few reasons. These reasons include doubting my art skills, not knowing how to get more people interested in my original works and often not posting stuff due to art block or burnout. It's pretty bad here on Tumblr and I don't know how to present my characters to a wider audience but if anyone has any tips, feel free to share.

Lately, I've been on a real kick for my OCs and I'm gonna try and post some sketches (when I'm not tired from work or not busy) of my OCs a bit more frequently.

So yeah, I don't mean to sound bossy but if you visit my blog, please remember that I do MORE than just Cuphead fanart and do check out my other works. Thanks for reading and sorry about the ramble. I just wanted to get it out.

[brandstifter-sys]

Sonnets

Word Count: 2144 (Ao3)

Pairing: Dukexiety with some Creativitwins

Rating: T+

Warnings: Sexual themes, brotherly angst, talk of death

Roman finds a journal and assumes it’s Remus’ but when Remus says it’s not his Roman leaves him with it, so he has some time to read. Little does he know what will come from perusing that book.

-----

Remus was chaos, he didn't bend to anyone else's rules unless he wanted to. Almost nothing was off the table for him—gore, violence, monsters, pain—but he had limits. Don't steal Janus' hat when he isn't holding or wearing it, because an angry Janus meant silence, or worse being silenced and alone. Never ever get too gross with Patton, because he will scream and cry and flash those hideous puppy dog eyes! Stay at least 6 feet away from Logan or suffer through a lecture on how little influence the duke held. Never let Roman hurt himself so bad he can't heal. And never ever read Virgil's diaries. 

Remus was happily throwing shurikens at a large canvas with paint balloons, having fun despite only hitting the ones filled with red. It was just a little annoying to only have one color on a solid white background, and even more annoying when it was Roman's colors staring at him. Roman hadn't been much of a good brother in the past few years, and it stung to think about how they drifted apart. How almost everyone ran from him to Roman. It hurt to be so lonely. 

"Greetings, Your Disgrace!" Roman said as he entered the castle atrium suddenly. Remus threw another star that lodged itself in the canvas with a splash and a thump, and grinned manically at the unsettled prince. 

"Well if it isn't MacBetty himself!" Remus said and cracked his neck sharply, "What hell did I probably unleash on you today?" 

"Don't flatter yourself," Roman scoffed and held up a black journal with sparkling green trim, "You left this in the common area." 

"Did I?" he asked and righted his head with a sickening pop. He was as bad as Roman about collecting cool journals and never filling them, so it could be his, even if he didn't recognize it. Roman handed it to him and crossed his arms. 

"It would appear so. If Logan yells at me for leaving my notes lying about, he will certainly yell at me for yours." 

Remus hummed softly and ran his fingers over the cover, ignoring the jab. The trim pricked his fingers as they glided over it. It was a nice journal, but definitely not something he conjured up. He supposed it might have been a gift, but that would mean someone made something for him—someone other than Janus, and maybe just one other side, but he remembered every gift Virgil ever gave him.

"He likes to yell. Are you sure this is mine?" he questioned, still learning the rise and fall of the trim.

"I assumed, considering the design. I don't like to open other people's journals," Roman answered. Remus knew he was scared of leafing through it, probably expecting some security monster popping out the second he opened it. He didn't blame him for that one, but it stung nonetheless.

"Me neither, but now I'm curious!" Remus laughed and opened to a random page. It was all hand-written poetry. Interesting!

"It's a poetry book! Wanna hear one? It could be a hint!" Remus wiggled his eyebrows. Roman let out a short sigh but went tense. 

"I have other things to do. I came to drop off the book and now I must depart. Farewell." Roman bowed and sank out with flourish. He left far too quickly for comfort.

"Love you too, nice seeing you again, don't be a stranger," Remus pouted and went back to his room, too bummed to paint anymore. 

  He rose up and flopped on his bed with the journal open. Some angsty poetry might make him feel better. He got comfy and let his eyes traverse the page

My mouth is dry Sugary sweet and kind Choking me with my own tongue Out of everything, that saccharine isn't a lie

Remus pursed his lips. That one was really short, and with the talk of lies, he had to wonder. Was this actually Roman's? Did he want to share this with him covertly? Remus bit back a squeal at the thought and kept reading with some hope. 

Lost in translation Obstinate and selfish Get over yourself Avoidance builds pressure Never any quiet when you snap

Remus giggled, knowing exactly who that one was about! Someone pissed the author off! And he knew that that person pissed Roman off a lot! He turned the page, expecting to learn more about this author, believing they could be his brother wanting to reconnect. He was a little surprised to find a skull doodled in the corner but brushed it off.

I want to pull him from the shadows and into my heart Will he see me? Will he disappear if I reach for his hand? Am I blind and staggering in desperation? Someone like him would be better without me Someone like him deserves someone better No star deserves to succumb to a black hole

That one hurt. Remus wiped away the tears forming in his eyes. He knew that feeling all too well. The one side who made him want to obey, the side that made his heart flutter like the bats in his tummy—that side was his best friend and then he left. He missed his partner in crime and he wished that Virgil would come back, just for a visit, and spend time with him again. But that wasn't happening and he had a whole book to read about an author he could really connect with, Roman or not.

He went through several poems that were angsty and angry, full of self-loathing. With each piece he read, the more he doubted it was Roman. The language wasn't formal enough and it didn't match his style at all! It was good stuff, most of it, and Remus kind of hoped the real author would be willing to collaborate with him. He liked this guy.

Like the sun overhead, you're on fire The big man has a little golden boy Pompous and cruel with haughty desire Which one of us are you gonna destroy?

Darkness and shadow that cannot be lit Overshadowing you to make it stop Use that hubris to land another hit I'll keep fighting until the curtains drop

You think you're Hercules when you're so weak Rise like a phoenix Icarus, just try  Maybe you'll learn what it means to be meek Until that day you won't see me cry

I will rain on your parade every damn time Stopping stupidity is my worst crime

Okay so that one threw him for a loop. It would take a few minutes to piece it together. Remus decided that he could assume it was about Roman this time. Princey loved the classics and he had a pet phoenix. This author had some beef with him! Remus hoped for more anger at Roman with the next poem, because he certainly had enough pent up with the snobby, best-friend stealing, always got the spotlight prince. He didn’t get that catharsis, he got more than he bargained for.

I find comfort in breathing in his scent Even if his hands are mine for tonight If he asks, I don't know where his clothes went What I'm doing is wrong but it feels right

If I close my eyes I can taste his kiss A dream in a nightmare clouding my mind Hearing my name on his lips would be bliss To pin him down, our fingers intertwined

I long to stare into piercing jade pools So he thinks of me while I stake my claim I want him to never want to let go I always thought that love was just for fools But on his green sash, love, or something, came I almost regret that he'll never know

This was definitely not a book the author wanted to share. Remus was pretty sure that his face was going to melt off. Now he really wanted to figure out who wrote these! Someone actually liked him like that at some point! It definitely wasn't Princey in that poem—Remus still had the sash mentioned! He was just the tiniest bit turned on, but most of his hype went into his famous wiggles.

"You're so dead!" 

Remus jolted up and beamed. Virgil never stopped by anymore, so when he popped up threateningly, Remus was too happy to care or put the pieces together.

"And how do you wanna kill me? I have some suggestions!" he sang and shimmied. Virgil scowled and crossed his arms. 

"Have Janus wipe your memory and give it back." 

"What, the book?" Remus questioned and held it up. Virgil snatched it and held it to his chest protectively. Remus' eyes widened in horror.

"You wrote all that?! And I read it!? Oh no no no no no! I had no idea—I'll get Hisster Myde and scrub it away with steel wool! Dammit I am so sorry, Sca–Virgil!" Remus yelped and got up to pace. His only rule about Virgil, broken! The only rule he wanted to follow—tarnished!

"Were you about to call me 'Scabby Doo' again?" Virgil scoffed, hiding the fear and hurt he felt. 

"No, 'Scare Bear,' something kinda cute but that’s not important right now!" Remus answered, "I read your stuff without asking! I might be a crazed Camus Stranger boy, but I have some standards!" 

"Remus. Breathe. You're gonna wipe this trash from your memory and it'll be okay," Virgil tried to soothe him, only for the duke to go rigid. 

"Trash!?" Remus snarled and spun on his heels and marched up to Virgil until the lumbering emo hit the wall, confused and scared. 

"It's not trash! I know trash! I eat it for breakfast! That book holds some of the best stuff my critical creative ass has read in ages!" Remus snapped and glared up at him with a fire in his eyes. 

"What?" 

"Those poems are great! I was gonna find the author and beg on my knees like a needy subby bitch to collab with him because holy shit! I felt something with each one!" 

"Even the one with the skull doodle on the page?" Virgil squeaked, his face a beautiful shade of red. Remus smiled sadly. 

"Yeah, that one hit a little too close to home. I got all teary eyed. Thinking about it now after reading that saucy sonnet, it really hurts!" 

"I uh—" Virgil stammered, "I'm, uh, 'm sorry for the sash and the whole—"

"If you apologize for anything else I am going to lip wrestle that apology away!" Remus cut him off, "Because dammit, Virgil, I love you, even if you don't feel the same way anymore. No more self-hate and no more doubting yourself." 

"Puppy," Virgil said and finally took back some control, guiding Remus back and having him sit down, "I can't promise I'll be able to stop that completely, but if you can stand a little bit of it, I wouldn't mind making that collab a date." 

"Really!?" Remus grinned making Virgil's eyeshadow turn purple, "Can we paint too? And watch scary movies? And make out? And then try and woo each other with some dark prose until one of us caves and asks the other to be his boyfriend? And then f—" 

"Yeah," Virgil cut him off and pressed a finger to Remus' lips, "Except for the part about caving. Will you–I mean, only if you want to, would you–and it’s cool if you say ‘no’ since things might be a little weird but—”

“Band-aid, Emoraptor!” Remus cut him off, like he used to do back in the day when Virgil started down one of his nervous tangents.

“Maybe be my boyfriend now?" Virgil said quickly and winced.

"Yes!" Remus cheered and dragged Virgil into a hug, tumbling on the sheets, "Loom over me like a cypress tree and stay with me until I taste death for a night." 

"Stay here and cuddle until we pass out like touch starved gremlins? Only if you visit me in the abyss until this world calls," Virge mused and wrapped his arms around the duke, curling around him protectively. 

"And then the next," Remus hummed softly and kissed his hand, “But you’re always in my dreams!” Virgil buried his face in Remus’ neck and smiled against his skin. Who would have thought that they would wind up here?

Roman sat on his bed and stared at the collage of pictures he had on the wall. In the very center was an old drawing of him and Remus in front of a castle. He sighed wistfully and stared at it, admiring Remus' work. He hoped that sneaking into Virgil's room was worth it—he wanted Remus to be happy even if he couldn't provide that joy. Maybe one day he’d be able to, but until then, he hoped he got his best friend and brother together to make some amends if not more.

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 100

warnings: vomit (yeah, we’re just gonna have to get used to that at this point), slight Haunting of Hill House spoiler (lol what), and a quick little nsfw moment Hold My Hand Masterlist

You’re bent over the sink as you try to stop yourself from throwing up, but it’s not really working. You’ve been feeling a lot more nauseous today, and you’ve convinced yourself that it’s the flu now. Deep down, you think you know, but you don’t want to get your hopes up. Plus this is Finn’s first Christmas, and you definitely don’t want to overshadow that since you know how much this means to Tess and Jimmy.

There’s a knock at the bathroom door as it slowly opens, and you see John poke his head in, “Hey, you okay?”

You press the towel to your mouth and nod your head, “Pretty sure I caught the flu.”

John walks over to you and feels your forehead, “Your head isn’t too hot. You should maybe stay home though. We’re just looking at houses today. No need to go if you don’t feel good. I could even FaceTime you the whole time if you want.”

You shake your head and look up at John, “No, I’m fine to go. I can push through it for today.”

John holds your hand as you walk back into the living room, and he helps you put on your jacket. You smile at John as he zips up your coat, then he leans down to kiss you, but you back away.

“No kisses today. I don’t want to get you sick.”

He frowns dramatically, then he presses a kiss to your lips anyway, “I don’t care about getting sick. I want to kiss my wife.”

You close your eyes and lean against John’s chest, “I’m kinda sleepy too.”

John laughs as he leans down to kiss you again, “You’re just a mess today, aren’t you?”

“I am.” you laugh as you walk with John out to the car.

John helps you get in the car, then he runs back inside and comes out a few moments later with a bottle of water, some crackers for you, and a plastic bag. He smiles as he gets in the car and hands them to you, and you smile wide.

“Just in case you start to feel sick while we’re out.” he says and presses the button to open the garage, “Your mom and Tess are meeting us at the first house. It’s only 15 minutes away.”

“Great, so she’s super close. And no, I didn’t mean that to sound so sarcastic.”

John laughs as he pulls out of the driveway, and he reaches over for your hand, “It’s on the Northwest side of Oyster Bay, so yeah, she’d be closer to us. The other house is even closer though, just a ten minute drive.”

You nod your head as you look out the window, and you move your hand to your stomach when you feel the queasy turning of your stomach.

“Can you pull over? Please.” you look at John and cover your mouth, “Like right now!”

John pulls the car to the side of the road, and you quickly open the door so you can vomit. He reaches over and holds your hair back, then he rubs your back with his other hand.

“Get it all out, baby.” he says, and you vomit again.

You cough loudly and reach for the tissue John is handing you, and you wipe away the vomit on your chin as you sit up. You exhale loudly and take a big drink of water, then you eat a few crackers before John says anything.

“You good?”

You swish some water in your mouth and spit out, then you look over at John and smile as you close the car door, “I feel so much better.”

“I think you’re getting sick.” John frowns, rubbing his hand over your back, “I’m sorry, peach.”

“It’s okay.” you laugh as you put your seat belt back on, “If I can get the vomiting out of the way now, I’ll be fine.”

John laughs as he puts the car back in drive, then he reaches for your hand again, “Nothing can hold my girl down, huh?”

“Well, ya know…” you playfully shrug and flip your hair as he laughs.

“If you get sick at any point today, you need to let me know so I can take you home.”

“I will.” you press a kiss to the back of John’s hand, then you reach into your purse for a piece of gum.

__

As soon as John pulls in front of the first house, you gasp loudly – it’s beautiful, but it’s huge. You already know your mom will say that she doesn’t like the size of it. It’ll only be her and Dan here most of the time, but this is one of the only few houses that are for sale in Oyster Bay currently.

John pats your leg and looks at you, “Let me help you out. There’s a bit of ice here.”

You wait for John to get to the passenger’s side, and he reaches for your hand to help you out, keeping it tightly gripped in his hand as you fix your coat and grab your purse. The two of you walk up the driveway hand in hand, and you hear someone on the phone when you get closer to the house.

“Honey, I’m showing two houses today. Yes, I will be home before your mother gets in town. What do you mean ‘don’t say it like that’? I just said ‘your mother’.”

You bite your cheek a little to keep yourself from laughing, and you look up to see John doing the same. You’re so lucky that your mom and John get along so well. You don’t know what you’d do if they hated each other.

“It’s two houses. 3 hours tops. It’s for…John Wick,” he says, and he widens his eyes when he sees the two of you, “Honey, I have to go. I have to go,” he shakes his head and hangs up the phone, then he reaches out to shake John’s hand, “Mr. Wick.”

“Greg,” John laughs and shakes his hand, “You can just call me John.”

He exhales and nods his head, “Okay, I just didn’t know how you wanted me to address you. How the hell you been?”

John wraps his arm around your shoulder to pull you closer, then he gestures to the door, “Mind if we talk inside? She’s freezing.”

“Oh, yeah, definitely.” Greg says, and he opens the door for you, “So, John, what have you been to, man? I haven’t seen you for about…what? Four years?”

“Yeah, it’s been about four years.” John nods, “Been a bit busy as of lately. Bought the bookshop down on 8th in Mill Neck, and also–”

Your phone goes off in your purse, and you grimace as you look up at John and reach into your purse, “My bad. Text.”

Finn just threw up everywhere right when we were about to leave. I’m just getting him cleaned up, then we’ll be on the way. Be there in 20 minutes.

“Sorry, my mom and sister should be here soon. Her son just threw up everywhere.” you say, laughing a little, “Babies, so unpredictable.”

“Don’t I know it.” Greg laughs, “Got 3 kids myself. Two boys and one girl. Loves of my life, wouldn’t trade them for the world, but damn, it’s hard to get anywhere on time anymore.”

“I bet.” John laughs, leaning against the counter. “I think the last time I saw you, you only had one kid.”

“Just had the twins. A boy and a girl.” he says, and he grabs his phone out of his pocket to show John their pictures, and you lean against John’s shoulder to see. “Oliver and Alexis. They’ll be a year old this spring. And of course we have Felix, he’s 7.”

You smile as you look up at him, “They’re very cute kids.”

“Thank you.” he reaches for your hand and shakes it, “I’m Greg. I helped John find his house, then I helped him find the blueprints to rebuild it.”

“Well, thank you for that. I love my home.” you laugh, looking up at John for a moment, “I’m Y/N, his wife.”

“John Wick got remarried?” he laughs and looks at John, “I thought I had heard something, but I couldn’t believe it without seeing it; I see it now. Wow, she’s a looker, John. Congratulations.”

John smiles and puts his arm around your shoulder, “Thank you.”

It hurts your feelings a little that some people don’t ever believe it that John got remarried. It makes you so sad that so many people just wanted John to cry over Helen for the rest of his life and never be happy again. Hell, even John wanted to do that until he saw you one day.

“Um, is there a bathroom in here that I could use?” you ask, timidly.

Greg nods his head and walks into the dining room, then he points, “Down there at the very end of the hall.”

“Thank you.” you smile and head down the hallway to have a moment to yourself.

You can’t tell if you want to throw up or not, so you just lean back against the sink to catch your breath. After calming yourself down for a few moments, you open your eyes and look around at the bathroom. It’s nothing spectacular, but it’s pretty cute. There’s a bathtub in front of you, and a walk in shower next to it. There’s a nice little linen closet, and you peek inside to check it out.

“Mouse…” John knocks on the door and slowly opens it, “Are you alright? Did you throw up again?”

You open the door further and shake your head, “No, I’m fine. This is a cute little bathroom.”

“This is just one. There’s eight bathrooms in here.” he says, reaching for your hand. “Greg said we can look around. He had to make a phone call.”

You walk into the living room and look around, “This is way too big. She’s gonna hate it.”

“I thought so. I think she’ll like the next house the best.” John says, wrapping his arms around your waist, “Do you like this house?”

“Seems…big. Open. Uh, empty.” you look around and shrug, “Creepy.”

John laughs and lets go of you, “That’s because no one lives here.”

“No, it’s creepy! Don’t lie. I feel like I’m going to turn the corner and see a creepy little kid with no eyes staring at me.”

“Well, how could he stare at you if he has no eyes?” John teases, walking backwards out of the living room.

You roll your eyes and laugh as he pulls you into his arms, and he leans down to kiss you repeatedly. He dips you as you laugh against his lips, then he blows a raspberry on your cheek before he stands back up straight with you in his arms. He gently cups your face and presses a soft kiss to your lips, and you smile at him.

“My god, look at you today.” John whispers, and you furrow your brow as you laugh, “You’re just so fucking beautiful.”

You jokingly gag as you roll your eyes, “You’re so gross, Wick.”

“Telling my wife she’s beautiful is now considered gross in your eyes,” John says, cocking up his eyebrow, “Oh, no, I’m not falling for that.”

You laugh as you wrap your arms around John’s neck, “I think it’s pretty sweet, to be honest. I love hearing you say corny stuff.”

“Hey, I’m sorry about Greg. I don’t really know him, he just helped me find the house years ago.” he says as he takes your hands, “Then I tracked him down again to help me get the blueprints so I could have it rebuilt.”

“It’s okay.” you say quietly, looking down at your hands in John’s. “Just makes me sad that so many people just wanted you to be…sad for the rest of your life.”

“I know.” John nods, then he leans closer to whisper, “I was one of them until I met you.”

Tess and your mom walk into the house and you let go of John’s hands, but he grabs you and wraps his arms around your shoulders as the two of you walk out to meet them. Finn is bundled up in a puffy jacket, and it’s nearly making you melt when you see him struggling to move around.

“Fuck, it’s hot in here.” Tess says, and your mom scolds her for her language, “What? He’s 5 months old. He doesn’t know what I’m saying.”

She sets Finn on the floor and he tries to crawl over to you, but his arms are stuck out to the side from his coat. You kneel down in front of him and pull his coat off, then you toss it to Tess as you stand back up with Finn in your arms.

“Hi, Finny James.” you smile, and he begins to wiggle around in your arms as he smiles, “Aren’t you so handsome today? Look at these overalls. I’m dying.”

John kneels down in front of you and smiles at Finn, “Hey, buddy.”

Finn loves John, and he’s always so bashful when John smiles and plays with him. Finn hides his face in the crook of your neck, then he giggles loudly when John begins to tickle his belly. He’s wiggling around in your arms and it’s hard to keep a good hold on him, so you hand him off to John, who is more than happy to take him.  

Greg comes back in to show you around the house, and you all follow behind him to look at the house. He shows you the kitchen, which you’re standing in, then he moves to the living room and points out the features in there. A bay window and a fireplace.  

You begin to feel a little nauseous again, so you fall behind the rest just in case you need to run to a bathroom and vomit. Tess looks over her shoulder and begins to walk backwards until she’s next to you.

“I think you’re…” she peeks around the corner, then leans closer to your face, “I think you’re pregnant.”

“I think you’re wrong.” you laugh and put your hand on your stomach. “That’s a mighty big assumption.”

Tess raises an eyebrow and clicks her tongue, “Okay, well, don’t believe me then. But I’m right!”

You hear footsteps coming towards you, but they stop, and you and Tess look at each other in confusion. You start to peek around the corner when you see Finn, and he sees Tess and giggles loudly as John holds him up to peek around the corner again. Tess laughs and presses a kiss to Finn’s cheek, then she moves past him to find your mom.

“You’re going to be such a fun dad.” you laugh and wrap your arms around John’s waist.

John scoffs and bounces Finn in his arms, “He’s a fun baby. He’s so wiggly and giggly.”

You pucker your lips for a kiss from John, but Finn leans over with his mouth open to kiss you. You cup his little face in your hands and pretend to bite his little cheeks as he giggles loudly.

John bounces him in his arms and looks at him, “You tryin’ to steal my girl?”

Finn leans over for you to hold him, and you laugh loudly as you take him from John, “Sorry, John, Finn is the only man who has my heart.”

Everyone joins up again in the living room and you sit down on the couch next to John and place Finn on your legs as he bounces up and down in your lap. Greg hands your mom and John several papers, and he sits down to tell you more about the house.

“So, there are 5 bedrooms. 6 bathrooms – full bathrooms. Two half baths. There’s a fireplace. A private pool, a guest house is on the property in the back, and…what else am I missing?” Greg looks over the papers, tapping his pen against his head.

Your mom looks up at you and shakes her head. She hates it.

“Mom, what are you thoughts?”

“The furnaces in the rooms…” she says, and you all look at her. “That’s a no for me. I don’t like that. They get too hot in the winter and you can easily burn yourself on them, and I want one of the bedrooms to be for kids, so I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“We could have someone come in and take those out.” John suggests.

Your mom nods, “We could, but it’s a hassle. Also I don’t need a guest house. I certainly don’t need 6 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms.”

“5 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms.” Tess corrects, and she reaches out to take Finn from you.

“Well, regardless, I don’t need that. I don’t need a private pool, or that silly game room.”

You laugh quietly and look over at John, “Told you she’d hate it.”

John nods and laughs, “That you did. Mom, there’s another house that I actually really think you’ll like. Would you like to look at that? It’s smaller than this.”

Greg shuffles through his papers and nods, “The house on Summers Street? Lovely house.”

Your mom nods her head and smiles, “I’d love to look at it.”

The acid in your stomach is slowly rising in your throat, and you press your hand to your stomach as you get up and head for the bathroom. You lock yourself in the bathroom and quickly lean over the toilet as you vomit. You’re out of breath and tired, and you’re starting to think that maybe John should just bring you home so you can rest.

“No, you can get through this. It’s one more house. You can do this.” you say and get off to the floor. You flush the toilet and cup your hands under the faucet to drink the water from your palms, then you check to make sure you didn’t leave any vomit behind on the toilet before you leave. You walk back into the living room to find everyone staring at you, and you widen your eyes, “What?”

Your mom furrows her brow, “Were you throwing up?”

“No.”

She tilts her head and laughs, “We could hear you.”

You grab your jacket and put it on, “So, we goin’ to look at that other house, or what?”

John gets off the couch to pull on his coat, then he presses his cheek against your head, “Do you need me to take you home?”

You tilt your head back and smile, “No, I’m good.”

“Are you sure? We don’t want you throwing up all over this next house.” he says, laughing a little, but the concern is visible on his face.

“No, baby, I’m fine.” you smile, closing your eyes when John presses a kiss to your head.

Your mom puts her hand on your cheek and sighs, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just feel a little sick today.” you say, then you quickly come up with a lie, “An employee came in sick the other day, so I think I caught it.”

From the corner of your eye, you see Tess cock up an eyebrow as she pulls out Finn’s stocking cap and zips his coat, and your mom grabs your head and presses your forehead against her cheek, then she shakes her head.

“You don’t have a fever. Are you sure it’s the flu? Maybe food poisoning?”

You shrug, “Could be anything. Who knows?”

John takes Tess’ keys from her to start her car and warm it up, and your mom walks outside with him and Greg. Tess is smiling to herself as she makes sure Finn is bundled up, and you roll your eyes when she looks at you.

“Shut up.” you laugh, looking at Tess.

“I didn’t even say anything!” she says, hoisting Finn up her in arms as she walks to the door, “You’re gonna be a momma, because you are definitely pregnant.”

You sigh as you look at her, “I don’t want to get my hopes up. Every time I do, I take a test and it’s negative. I’m not allowing myself to get excited about this.”

Walking back outside, you see John sitting in the car waiting for you, and you try to contain yourself. You don’t even know if you’re pregnant anyway, but it’s pretty exciting to think about, and it’s hard to not think about it.

“Hey.” John says as you open the car door, “You good? No more throwing up, I hope.”

“Nope.” you smile and look at him, “Just talking to Tess.”

John puts the car in drive and heads down the road, “I think your mom will really like this next house. It’s a little smaller than this and less bedrooms.”

“No ‘silly’ game room?”

He laughs and shakes his head, “No silly game room.”

__

John pulls up in front of the next house, and you smile to yourself when you see it. You won’t say it out loud yet since you don’t want to sway your mom’s opinion, but it’s perfect for her. You’d love to live here if you didn’t love your home so much.

There’s several medium sized trees in the front yard and bushes along the porch, and there will be plenty of room for your mom to garden. Even though it’s winter, the lawn is beautifully landscaped, you can tell even through the snow. You can already picture your mom outside with the kids on nice spring days.

The house is a pale yellow with white trim, and there’s a driveway all along the left side of the house that leads to a nice garage. The wrap around porch is a nice touch, but the swing on it is even better.

Greg is already inside, waving you all in, so you quickly get out to head inside as you hold tight to John’s hand.

“Oh, mom, this is much more your style.” you say, looking around the entryway.

Greg starts walking backwards to point out all of the features, “So, we have a nice entryway here, and to my left, as you can see, is the stairs that lead upstairs, which we will get to shortly. If you keep following me, I’ll show you the kitchen.”

The cupboards are all nice and there’s an island in the middle of the floor. The counter tops are all granite, and you point at the oven and widen your eyes at your mom when you see it’s a double oven – something she’s always wanted.

The dining room is nice and big, perfect for holidays and family dinners. The living room is connected to the dining room and kitchen, and there are large windows around to give the room lots of natural lighting.

“I love that the dining room, living room, and kitchen are all connected.” your mom says with a smile on her face, “I love that I could be in here making cookies or something, and the kids could be playing in the living room. I could always keep an eye on them.”

Greg points at the fireplace in the corner and smiles, “Fireplace as well.”

“Love it.” Tess says, then she points the hanging globes from the ceiling, “I love these lights too.”

You all follow behind Greg upstairs, and you look over your shoulder as John grabs your ass. He smiles as you lean back to kiss him, then he tickles your sides as you giggle.

“Hey,” Tess calls out and points to an empty room, “This would be great for kids.”

John immediately moves around you and looks at the room, nodding his head as he inspects it, “It would be great. Get some cribs in here, nice toy box over here.”

You glare at Tess when John turns his back to you, and she smiles proudly as she walks in the room to continue talking with John.

__

“Well,” your mom sits down on your couch and nods her head, “I really loved that house.”

“I did too.” you nod and look up when John comes out of the kitchen with two mugs of hot chocolate, then he leaves again to grab his own. “I really loved the open basement. Personally I would put some carpet down there.”

She nods and takes a sip of her drink, “I agree.”

“The kitchen is perfect for you, too. It was beautiful, and of course, the double oven. You’ve wanted one forever! And after having one for the past year, I can tell you that it’s a godsend. It’s perfect for when John and I are both making stuff, like if John is making dinner and I’m making dessert.”

John joins the two of you again and sits down in the chair across from you, “The yard will be beautiful in the spring and summer. The backyard is nice, plenty of room for you to garden.”

“You two are really trying to sell me on this, aren’t you?”

You and John both laugh, and you look over at her and smile, “Mom, I want you to move here, and I don’t want you to think I’m trying to…guilt you into picking a house you don’t like. I want you to love whatever house you pick. It’s ultimately up to you.”

“I get that, but honey, how am I going to afford this? I was going to buy a house with the money that I got from the house after I sold it.”

You reach for her hand and smile, “We’ll figure it out.”

“Sleep on it for the week, mom.” John says, smiling at her, “Don’t worry about it. We have Christmas in two days.”

“Yes, I’m going with Jonathan and James tomorrow to get presents for you and Tess.” she says and takes a sip of her hot chocolate, “And helping them get gifts for you two!”

You look over at the Christmas tree and laugh when you see it bulging with presents. Some of them are from you to Tess and Jimmy, but most of them are for you and John.

You laugh and look at John, “Yeah, I’m sure John has no idea what to get me.”

“We agreed to stay under a budget, but that didn’t work. I immediately went over.” John laughs and gets up to plug in the Christmas lights. “But she’s worth it, and she deserves all of these gifts.”

The whole living room lights up with Christmas lights, and you hear your mom gasp quietly when she looks at the tree.

“That reminds me!” she reaches into her purse and pulls out a small object wrapped in tissue paper, “I got this for you two and forgot to give it to you!”

You take it from your mom, and John kneels down next to you as you pull the tissue off of it. It’s a Christmas ornament in the shape of a heart and in the middle has some little crystals and you smile as you read it, “First Christmas as Mr. and Mrs.”

“That’s cute.” John laughs, and he reaches for your hand to help you off the couch. He moves an ornament from the front of the tree and smiles at you as you hang the new ornament in its place. He places his hand on your lower back, near your ass and he pats it lightly, despite your mom being right there, “Front and center. Perfect.”

“He’s so proud to be married to you, baby.” your mom laughs, and you look over your shoulder at her. “I still can’t get over that.”

You look back at John and cup his cheeks as you lean up to kiss him quickly, “Oh, I got to open one of my gifts a little early the other day! Let me go grab it!”

Heading upstairs, you look over to your left and watch as your mom and John talk, and you smile to yourself when she pats his cheek and gestures to the tree, probably telling him how wonderful it looks, which John will then say was your doing. You head into the baby’s room to get Charlotte��s Web off the nightstand John brought into here the other day, then you carefully take the picture off the wall.

“Yeah, she started decorating the day after Thanksgiving. She was super excited,” John says, looking over his shoulder at you. “I think the house looks great.”

“When was the last time you had a Christmas with someone?” your mom asks, and you sit down next to John and look over at him as you grow curious. “When your wife was alive?”

John inhales deeply and nods, “Yeah, I didn’t get one last Christmas with Helen though. She passed a few months prior to Christmas. So, my last Christmas before I met this one was much different.”

Your mom frowns, shaking her head, “Just so sad how much you’ve been through, Jonathan. You’re a very brave man.”

“Thanks,” John laughs, and you press a kiss to the back of his hand.

You hold John’s gaze as he looks over at you, and you nod your head a little. There’s a lot unsaid but you know what John went through after Helen passed, and you know it wasn’t just a simple quiet Christmas that he had.

“But I got her now, and Christmas is quickly becoming my favorite holiday.” John says, patting your thigh as you smile. “I have a whole family that I get to enjoy Christmas with – don’t tell Tess I said that.”

You laugh loudly as you look back at your mom, “He let me open a present the other day, so…”

Handing the book over to your mom, you watch as she runs her finger down the spine of the book, and she opens it and smiles as she nods. John gives you a wink when you glance over at him, then he smiles at your mom.

“This is beautiful,” she whispers, looking up at you, “Is it your original book?”

“It is,” you nod as you hold tight to John’s hand, “I had asked him to bind it months ago, then I completely forgot about it.”

You watch your mom as she opens to the front page, and she frowns when she sees the note she wrote to you is now replaced by John’s stamp. You hold up the picture frame and hand it over to her, and she immediately starts to cry when she sees it.

“You kept it?”

You laugh, “Of course!”

“This is so sweet.” she whispers and holds it up.

John squeezes your hand a little and smiles, “We have it hung up in the baby’s room. First thing we’ve hung up in there.”

Your mom puts her hand over her face as she continues to sniffle, then she takes a deep breath and laughs, “I need to get out of here, you two are making me cry! I’m having dinner with James’ parents in a little bit, I can’t be crying all night.”

“That sounds like fun.” you say and get up from the couch to walk your mom to the door.

John whistles for Bleu, then he grabs his leash off the table when he runs over to him, “I’ll walk mom across the street, then I’ll just take him around the block.”

“Oh, okay.” you lean over to hug your mom, then you hug John, kissing him quickly, “I’ll be here when you get back. I’ll get dinner started right now.”

“Love you.” your mom and John both say at the same time, and you immediately put your hand over your heart.

“I love you both.”

__

You’ve been trying to find something that John thinks is scary, and so far, you haven’t found it. You’ve tried slasher films, zombie movies, movies about realistic pandemics, but he doesn’t even flinch. At this point, you’re convinced John isn’t afraid of anything. Until you mentioned a certain movie about a clown – John said he wasn’t in the mood for that tonight.

You and John are sitting on the couch, devouring your pasta and neither of you have spoken in almost 30 minutes because you’ve had your mouths full of food, also because you’re so absorbed in the TV show you’re watching, The Haunting of Hill House. Funny how he said he wasn’t in the mood for something scary. John is definitely afraid of clowns.

The screen goes black, and John turns to you and widens his eyes, “Holy shit.”

“That’s my favorite episode.”

John lifts up his arm and sticks it out, “I have goosebumps.”

You laugh and wipe away the tear falling down your cheek, “It makes me cry every time. She was just watching them at her funeral. It’s so sad that she’s there, but they can’t even see her.”

John sets his plate on the table and pauses the TV so it won’t go to the next episode, “I still can’t believe she was the Bent-neck Lady. I didn’t see that coming.”

“I know! You grabbed my leg so fucking hard.” you laugh and lean over to press a kiss to John’s cheek.

John looks over at you and smiles, “How is your stomach?”

“Better.” you place your bowl on the table and look at John, “One more episode?”

“Up to you.”

You scoot down on the couch to lay down a little, and you shrug, “I don’t know. It’s almost 9. I got distracted and didn’t make dinner on time. I saw that one of your presents was delivered while we were gone earlier, so I had to wrap it before you got home.”

“Another present?” John looks over at the tree and smiles when he sees Bleu laying next to it, “We might have went a little overboard this year.”

“Well, last year at this time, we had only been together for like…four months. It was still fairly early on and you don’t really know what to get your boyfriend. I got you a tie.” you laugh and look at John as he holds up his left arm to show you his watch, “Oh, and your watch.”

John smiles and leans over to look at your necklace, but he frowns a little when he sees you’re not wearing it, “You’re not wearing the necklace I got you for Christmas?”

Moving your hair away from your neck, you hold up your necklace, “No, I’m wearing the locket.”

“Oh, well, that is the better of the two.”

You shake your head and laugh, “I love them both equally.”

“Do you wanna take a bath?”

“That does sound nice. Especially after the puke filled day that I had.” you nod and get up from the couch, grabbing your bowl and John’s plate as you head for the kitchen.

John helps you clean up the kitchen so you’re done in only a matter of minutes, then he heads to the front door to make sure it’s locked. The air in the bedroom is a little cold, so you fix your blankets for when you’re out of the tub it’ll be easier to get under them without being too cold.

John follows behind you into the bathroom and sits on the edge of the tub as he pulls off his socks. He watches you closely while you turn the water on, and he smiles when you look up at him. You’re starting to wonder if John suspects anything, he’s been eyeing you all day.

No harm in asking.

You look up at John and smile, “What’s on your mind?”

“Do you think mom liked that house?”

You nod as you pour some soap into the tub, “Yeah, I think she did. She’s going to stress out about it for the next week, I’m sure.”

“Did that pasta help with your stomach ache?”

You nod your head and look at him again, “It did.”

“Okay, good. Sorry, I know I asked already, I just hate the idea of you being sick during the holidays.” he says, standing up to take off his shirt. He turns around to throw it in the laundry basket near the door, then he laughs loudly when you wrap your arms around his waist and kiss his back.

“I love your back.” you say, then you begin to kiss all of his scars, giving the big one in the center a little extra love, “I love all your tattoos.”

John laughs, “Still want to get a tattoo with me?”

“Yes! Well, I mean, I have a tattoo for you already, but I do want to get another.”

He looks over his shoulder a little and smiles, “I thought of an idea for me.”

You look up at John, your eyes wide in curiosity, “Really?”

“Yeah,” he nods, turning around to look at you, “I thought our anniversary in Roman numerals would be cool. I’d get them on my ring finger, I think. I’d still wear my wedding ring every day, but…”

“Baby, that’s so romantic.” you hug John a little tighter, and he laughs again.

“Not too tight, baby. Nearly crushed my ribs.” he teases, nudging your chin a little bit.

You laugh as you pull your shirt over your head, then you unhook your bra and toss it into the laundry basket. You flinch a little when you feel John’s finger brushing over your skin, and you smile when you see him looking at your ‘J’ tattoo.

“Still so cool that you got that for me.”

“Yeah, now I’m just waiting on you to get one for me!”

John wraps his arms around your waist and playfully spanks you, “Soon, I promise.”

You smile at John as you look at him, then you hold his hand as you step into the bathtub. He steps in behind you and sits down, then he places his hands on your waist and pulls you down to sit with him.

You lean back against him and wrap his arms around you, feeling the warmth from them soak into your skin. Closing your eyes, you lay your head against John’s chest and smile to yourself, “I’m so content right now.”

“In life or just in this moment?”

You open your eyes, tilting your head back, “Both. I know we want a baby, so me not being pregnant is a bummer.”

You could literally be pregnant right now, and you would know if you would just take a test already!

John shrugs, “Yeah…”

“But I’m really, really happy. Like, really happy.”

“We’ll get pregnant soon. It’s only been a few months.” John says, and you try to contain yourself when his hands move to your stomach, “I can’t wait to see you with a belly. You’re going to be so cute.”

You laugh and place your hands on top of John’s, “We’ll have to do those cute little bump update pictures where you can see how big my belly gets every month.”

“Yes!” John leans his head against yours and laughs, “Yeah, I love those. Tess and Jimmy did that funny photoshoot, that was pretty cute though.”

“Are you excited to spend the day with my mom and Jimmy tomorrow?”

John lets out a small laugh and you feel him nodding his head, “Yeah, actually I am. She wants to go and get you and Tess a few things, then she said she’d help us get some stuff for you and Tess.”

“Please don’t buy me any more presents. There’s like, 50 under the tree already. I went way overboard, but I’m actually pretty pleased with myself. I got you some pretty good stuff this year. Over this past year, you’ve mentioned stuff in passing and I don’t think you ever mention it to hint at anything, but I’d stored it all away in my memory. Plus I’m still making up for your birthday this year.”

John kisses your cheek and smiles as you tilt your head back, “No, my roller rink date was good. And marrying you has still been the best birthday gift I’ve ever gotten.”

You take a deep breath and when you let it out, you realize John still has his hand on your stomach. You intertwine your fingers with his and tilt your head back, closing your eyes when he kisses your forehead.

The two of you stay in the water long enough for it to turn cold, and you shiver as you get out and feel the rush of cold air clinging to your wet skin. You grab your robe from the hook on the wall and pull it around yourself, then you hand John a large towel so he can wrap it around his waist. Together at the sink, you both brush your teeth and you smile at John when he winks at you.

John bends over to spit in the sink, then he reaches for a towel to wipe away the toothpaste on his chin. He watches you attentively as you wash your face, scrubbing away the makeup and the awful vomit filled day. He takes a towel from the linen closet, and he dabs away the water on your face, then he presses a kiss to your cheek.

You playfully spank John as he walks in front of you, and he laughs as he walks into the bedroom and shuffles through his drawer for a clean pair of boxers. Your hamper is overflowing with clothes, and you have no clean pajamas in your drawer, so you toss your robe aside and crawl into bed naked.

“I’ll do laundry tomorrow when you’re gone.” you say, and you look up at John as he tosses you a t-shirt.

“I know you love to sleep naked, but if you’re getting sick, you need to wear something.” he says, pulling on his boxers. He starts to smile when you frown dramatically, then he lets out a loud laugh, “Baby, I’m doing this for you.”

You pull the shirt over your head and hold John’s gaze as he gets in bed with you, “There.”

“Oh, well, thank you. I know that must have been very hard for you to do.” he laughs, scooting closer to you. “We need to talk…”

You groan and look at John, “I don’t want to talk, I want your face between my legs.”

“Oh, you do?” A smug smile spreads across John’s face, and he licks his lips as he looks at you nodding your head, “And it will be, but we need to talk about something else first.”

“Can’t you multitask?”

John laughs loudly and tackles you back on the bed, “You little shit!”

You giggle as John tickles your stomach, then you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him, “I’m just kidding!”

John takes a deep breath and sits up a little to rest against the headboard, “If your mom does end up deciding she likes that house and she wants to move in, I want to buy it for her. I want us to buy it for her. I know she wants to sell the house and use that money, but she won’t get that house sold until probably the spring.”

You sit up and turn around to face John, “Baby, I saw the price of that house. There’s no way I can allow you to do that.”

“You can’t stop me.” John says, teasing you.

You roll your eyes and sigh, “John, I’ve been with you for over a year now, and I’ve come to realize that money is…nothing to you, which is nice, don’t get me wrong. It’s nice because it’s one thing that will never cause stress in our marriage, and I am…so grateful for that.”

“But…”

“But…” you shake your head, “I can’t let you buy a two million dollar home for my mom.”

John laughs, “It’s not two. It’s one…and half.”

Giving John a blank stare, you let out a very loud sigh to let him know how annoyed you’re getting, but it only makes him laugh. He knows he’s going to win this argument.

“John, I’m…I…” you pinch the bridge of your nose and shake your head, “I’m sick to my stomach thinking about this. My mom is going to fucking faint when she finds out.”

“You don’t need to be.”

“Jonathan, we didn’t grow up in a fancy home. We had a shitty house that was falling apart half the time. Dan tried to help fix some stuff, but…he’s…well, he’s Dan.” you say, and John laughs quietly. “I just don’t want my mom to feel like she has some obligation to us now, and I don’t…I don’t want this to be thrown in my face if you and I ever–”

“Stop.” John shakes his head, “Don’t finish that sentence, Mrs. Wick. First of all, your mom will have no obligation to us, and I don’t expect her to pay us back for this. I want to do this. I would…”

John takes a long pause, and you reach out for his hand when he tilts his head back and closes his eyes. You’re not entirely sure what’s going through his head, but you have a pretty good idea.

“It’s okay.” you whisper, scooting closer to him.

“I would do this for my mom…if I had one.” John says, and he smiles a little, “And…I do have one now.”

“Oh, god.” you tear up and cover your mouth with your hand as you cry.

“I want to do this for her. I want her here for Finn, I want her here for our baby.” he says, and he touches your stomach. “This isn’t just for Tess though, or just for your mom. This is for you. I know you want your mom here.”

You nod your head as you wipe away the tears in your eyes, “Okay, you’re making a good point.”

“And I would never throw something like that in your face, by the way. I’m not even going to finish that last part of your sentence, because that isn’t going to happen.” John reaches for your hand and points at your ring, “I say it all the time, but I’m in it for the long haul, baby. You and me.”

“You and me.” you nod your head and scoot over so John can hold you. You tilt your head up and look at John with tears in your eyes, “You amaze me, Jonathan.”

John smirks as he kisses you, then he crawls between your legs, “Wanna see how amazing I am?”

“Oh, yeah. Almost forgot.” you smile as John pulls the blanket from off of you, then you lay back and smile as John kisses your thighs, “Oh, and take your time.”

“Yes, ma’am.” John laughs, then he buries his face between your legs as you smile.

__

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