#and i feel like i cant 100% be myself around them
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lambentumbra · 14 days ago
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is that comfortable. is that stretch doing something
cameron (they/any)
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rainingincale · 11 months ago
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phagodyke · 8 months ago
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woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better
#only slept 4 hrs yesterday so was rly hoping to get a solid nights sleep today bc i probably won't tonight....#but i didnt sigh. but my options are either to plough thru w today and make myself do this even tho i dont rly feel like it#or cancel plans and stay in and mope which will inevitably turn into self harm so rly the latter is a non option lmao#its all okay ill get into the swing of things n have a good time once im thereee#and i always knew i was gonna feel a bit like this like its an open wound for me i just need to be careful not to touch it#bc how i feel isnt based in reality its just insecurity n vulnerability n ik it can take months to fully recover from a previous episode#and part of the recovery process needs to involve facing potentially triggering situations instead of avoiding them#bc otherwise ill get increasingly worse bc its not possible to always avoid and ill be defenceless again when it does happen again etc#like its part of rebuilding my sense of self n confidence n hopefully i can eventually start to trust other ppl again n lower my guard#bc it sucks being contorted into this defensive pose all the time and i would like to allow myself to feel genuine connection w others !!#and to stop instinctively flinching and waiting for the hit im tired of my mind telling me ppl r lying + trying to hurt me when theyre not#im being a bit dramatic like i am doing a LOT better than i was a few weeks ago. n i def can handle this one#and the risk of triggering myself is much much lower anyway in this specific situation. so long as theyre not hiding shit from me again#i can think of several ways that risk could skyrocket n unexpectedly spiral out of my control n it makes it hard to breathe just imagining#but i need to believe that it wont. so if-no WHEN it doesnt then next time ill have proof that i can navigate it n i wont feel so anxious#it makes me laugh how stupid this is from an outside perspective. my brain causes me so much weird n 100% unnecessary distress#but its the only brain ive got n will always have so i need to work with it!!#anyway all that aside i genuinely am rly looking forward to this afternoon!! ive rly wanted to start doing more nice things for myself#n the fact it coincides w missing smth that could incite my rsd is kind of for the best even if it is making me anxious#i cant let my life revolve around anticipating how ppl might upset me n basing my decisions off minimising that damage#n while it would be nice to have company.. well ik its just as fun going alone bc ive done it before! n i need a reminder of that#ah im gonna turn myself in circles if i think much more. i dont need to justify anything#i hope they have a nice time and i hope i have a nice time and i hope that eventually someday we can have a nice time together instead#of separately. and i hope that someday ill feel included and wanted by other ppl and wont be posting on tumblr every time this happens LOL#this comes across like im saying i need to learn how to enjoy my own company or whatever but i prommy i already do..#what i actually need to learn is how to trust n enjoy the company of ppl i care abt without constantly being scared theyll hurt me....#but thats not happening today cuz i got other plans woooo OKAYY im gonna stop ruminating and get some chores done sjdkfh#.vent#<- well not rly a vent bc its not like im channelling feelings here im just rambling bc i have a lot on my mind. but still#this is prolly incoherent i keep putting my phone down and doing other things and then adding another thought LOL
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3liza · 11 months ago
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saw someone talking about "scary dog privilege" on here today and cant find the post again but i guess it refers to when women are bothered less in public when accompanied by a large dog, and bypassing the quibble i have with calling that a privilege, i can absolutely 100% confirm it is true.
i was approached by a 30s-40s single white man wearing the Dipshit Uniform (guy in a baseball cap who looks like he drives an f-150 and has voting opinions i would not agree with) on the street the other day and all he had to talk about was Churchgrim. that he was VERY large, looked like a good boy, obedient, what breed is he, etc. this is the only interaction i get from men in public anymore unless i do not have the dog with me, at which point it goes back to the usual bullshit. however it has to be an actual scary-looking dog and you have to visibly have control of it. this is not why i got a large dog, it's just a side benefit. it probably has a lot to do with the masculine cultural coding of any large dog breed that isnt a poodle or a sight hound more than it does the actual violence potential of the dog, but those two things are related. notably, not a SINGLE man has tried to mansplain dog care or handling to me for five years. not one. i cant explain this because its not like being visible capable at a task or skill will stop them in any other circumstance, including when you are holding a literal firearm.
i remember reading some stupid op-ed from some idiot woman who got a dog "for protection" on her jogs and was baffled when men were not intimidated by her golden fucking retriever (although they should have been; goldens bite a lot, statistically, probably explicitly because people do not take them seriously)
the fact that men's body language and tone of voice has changed so drastically from before when i had a 90lbs black shepherd mix standing next to me is pretty damning tbh. all people both intentionally and unintentionally modulate their communication styles around that type of dog to display respect, interest, or fear, experienced dog people can be identified instantly by their comfort and confidence with the dog, and people with dog phobia are the opposite. the dog instinctively puts himself between me and approaching strangers, probably not out of a defensive instinct in grim's case but because strangers are interesting and he wants to be closer to the object of interest, but the physical barrier this creates is a great benefit to me.
specifically, men talk to me much much much more like they are speaking to another man when the dog is there. part of that is men are often genuinely interested in knowing information about a large dog of grim's type and are not using the dog as an excuse to flirt with or harass me. grim has a phenotype that is familiar to certain experiences within the united states as a "porch dog" or "yard dog" or "farm dog" that everyone who has lived in rural areas has usually known or owned a few notable examples of, and thats a general class of dog that tends to be good at listening and responding to humans and has a lot of opportunities to display intelligence or good judgment, so people with rural experience tend to associate him with good memories. he's also "handsome" in the dog sense because he got to keep his balls until he was 3, on the advice of his vet, and as a result he developed nice-looking musculature and a big thick neck which you dont get on city dogs much. he gets a lot of positive attention from older ladies as well, who you'd think would be afraid of being knocked over, but who are always just besotted with him for reasons i havent quite figured out yet. maybe they like seeing a youngish woman with a dog like this, i know that i feel good and happy when i see younger women and girls in situations where they seem safe or protected to me. i think to myself, "i don't have to worry about her" and i feel relief. observing young women and girls often triggers anxiety for women who are even just a few years older than they are, out of pure empathy. its one reason it's so important to be kind to younger people than you are.
anyway it's damning to the men because of course men don't think rationally that the dog would understand and be offended or angry if they sexually harassed or disrespected me. but they are still on their best behavior because the dog is an implicit threat that i can defend myself. and perhaps not only did they have nothing real to discuss with me before now because they assumed we had nothing in common and that i was an idiot or not human, but they are watching themselves carefully to only express normal human civility. i dont get that from random men without the dog. mostly (not entirely but mostly) i get either casual disrespect/disregard, or outright sexual harassment. when i was younger and less experienced with men and had fewer cycles of these interactions, i was completely unaware of how disrespectful these approaches or comments were, which is the interpretation i can see less-experienced women making now, even if they're my age. and when i was 20, my 30 year old friends seemed pathologically misandrist and defensive to me. it was purely the difference in our actual mileage. that sucks man. wish we could just be normal around people and not have to expect the worst constantly.
anyway, good dog
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peacheises · 1 year ago
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I have Lyney brain rot ahhhh! Since no one else is gonna write for a reader other than those powerful "I don't cry at anything and I'll beat'cha up>:(" ones I'll just have to do it myself! Ger>:[ Also I want a story where reader can forgive Lyney for being fatui. We all know he isn't doing it because he likes hurting people>:[
!! FONTAINE STORY SPOILERS !!
Soft Lyney, reverse comfort, Lyney finally breaks, Lyney and reader cry together, Lyney cries a lot, it's okay Lyney we still love you<3
TW: Reader has a panic/anxiety attack because I'm tired of seeing angry reader some of us don't pissy and instead cry>:/
Not proof read<3
○~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~○
(("You're.... you're with the fatui?"))
Your heart pounded in your chest with an emotion that you couldn't quite pinpoint. Betrayal? Fear? Anger? You weren't 100% sure. However, whatever feeling it was you knew it was pleasant.
(("I was going to tell you someday- I-I promise!"))
The blonde magician exclaimed as he stepped forward, his sister looked nervously towards him then back at you. Your hands were sweating, you felt your heart palpitate in your chest as your mind began to rush. Could you trust him? Could you trust any of this? What if it was all just a scheme for the fatui to finish you off too?
The fatui... you hated the fatui so much... they took your family from you one cold, winter night. All because you father took a lone to pay off your little brother's hospital bills so he could live. But it didn't even matter in the end. You got home one night and there was nothing but the stench of blood and death. You would never forgive the fatui.
(("L-Lyney, L-Lynette I don't get it... I- I don't know if I can trust you- the fatui I cant trust the fatui-"))
Tears bubbled up in your eyes as the memories of your past began to flood your senses. So many what if's were racing through your mind, none of them were positive.
(("I- I thought I could t-trust you I don't get it I don't get it-"))
Salty droplets dribbled down your cheeks as your sense of balance began to dull. You dropped to the floor, clutching your face to hide yourself from the twins infront of you.
(("(Y-Y/N), I- I'm sorry- I-"))
Lyney began to blubber, he hadn't been faced with a situation like this before. Watching you crumble to the floor and sob stabbed his heart; this is why he didn't want to tell you.
(("L-Lyney, Lynette, are you going to hurt me? Are you here to finish me off?"))
You looked up at the two from between your fingers, your glassy (e/c) eyes barely visible from in between your tousled (h/c) bangs. Lyney shook his head fervently as he crouched down infront of you.
(("No, not ever. I promise."))
The blonde's voice cracked as he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. Lynette quickly joined him, sitting down beside him. Her amethyst eyes were full of concern.
(("We're sorry we couldn't tell you (Y/N), we... we were worried you would react this way. We didn't want to put you through this."))
Lynette began,
(("We were worried you would hate us and never speak with us again; especially Lyney."))
Lyney somberly nodded as he looked towards his sister and then back to you. The expression he wore was pained; his eyebrows were turned upwards and his eyes were glassy. He was holding back tears. He was on the verge of crying just like you were.
You knew Lyney was a talented actor, but no one can fake what look is reflected in the eyes. In that moment you saw nothing but pain and guilt in his lavender pools. You removed your hands from your eyes and inhaled, your lower lip still quivering and your eyes stung.
(("Lyney?"))
You began,
(("Lyney it's.. it's okay. I'll... I'll forgive you guys..."))
Lyney's eyes began the water again, a single tear slipped down his cheek as he attempted to compose himself. You gently leaned forward and wrapped your arms around him as he began to cry, his sister rubbed his back gently as he cried into your arms.
(("I'm so, so sorry (Y/N), I'm so sorry-"))
You could feel his tears dampen the shoulder of your shirt as his hat fell off his head and tumbled to the floor, rolling on the brim for a moment before finally settling. Your heart was still racing as you felt tears of your own begin to form once again. You tucked your face into Lyney's shoulder as you began to softly sniffle again.
(("It's okay Lyney..."))
The two of you cried into each other's arms; so many emotions were harboured in your hearts right now. You'll untangle them later, right now you need to hold the magician boy close. Lyney needs it.
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captain-pheonix · 5 months ago
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Hi this is a silly question but I really like your stuff and I think you're cool and really swag writer so I was wondering if you could do one with the TF2 mercs (and maybe miss Pauling, whatever you want) with a reader who boxes? Can be romantic or platonic, and the gender can be whatever you find easier to write. Ok, thank you ❤️😭
Mercs + Pauling (romantic and/or platonic) x gn!reader who likes boxes 📦 (HCs)
A/n: AHHHH TY ANON ILY 🫶 This isn’t weird at all, seriously, I am a certified creature and you have 100% come to the right person. I collect Apple product boxes and if I’m being honest if I lived by myself I’d just collect boxes regularly. Im making this gn!reader that can be read as platonic or romantic! Hope you enjoy!!
BIG EDIT: HOLY SHIT ANON IM SO SORRY I CANT READ YOU MEANT A READER THAT BOXES NOT A READER THAT LIKES BOXES IM GONNA CRY 😭😭😭😭 IM GONNA MAKE ANOTHER POST FOR A READER THAT BOXES IM SO SORRY
Warnings: none (boxes jumpscare, graphic depictions of cardboard)
Pauling
• Girlie is like “huh” but doesn’t really care because all the other mercs are equally if not more insane (and we all know the admin is, too)
• When she finds out, she finds it kinda funny, gives her a tiny break from being a workaholic 25/8
• “What do you find so fascinating about them?” Ms. Pauling says, genuinely curious. You explain that they’re just nice, they itch your brain the right way, and just like how a child sees one of those huge appliance boxes. “Oh, yeah, that makes sense, actually. Interesting. Never would have thought about that.”
• ✨the box hoard TM✨ is probably just in a corner or a closet somewhere
• She’ll probably ask if she can have any because they’d be really nice for sorting paper work
• Up to you, but maybe you give her a few you don’t like as much
Sniper
• bro is confuzzled
• thinks you’re crazy
• exits the room
• (no)
• like Pauling, he’s a bit confused, but after explaining how it’s like that feeling you get as a kid seeing a package arrive in a huge box, he understands it a bit more
• probably a little weirded out by your ✨box hoard✨ anyway
• calls you a cat 😞
• I feel like he’d be the kind who might get annoyed at the box board being around, thinking it takes up space and it needs to be tidied
• might get something to help you organize the boxes
Scout
• finds it absolutely positively hilarious cannot stop laughing
• “What? You like boxes?”
• Shoves you in boxes because it’s funny 😔
• after explaining the whole “it just sorta itches my brain like when a kid sees an empty box something was in” thing, he’s like “oh my gosh, that totally makes sense, actually!”
• 10/10 would just chill in one your boxes even if it’s a little small
• weird but wholesome headcannons that you two would fall asleep/cuddle in your boxes together
• honestly though after a while I feel like he’d join your box hobby
• he might ask for the boxes after someone gets a delivery or orders something just for you
• drawing on the boxes!!!
Medic
• Blud is like “ok cool”
• prob gives you boxes leftover from shipments of medical supplies like plastic bits (I wouldn’t take the ones from his shipments of animal organs 😬)
• those boxes might smell like the med lab 😔
• but I mean if you enjoy his scent or something then it’s probably a nice reminder
• when you talk about how a kid would react when a giant box shows up in the mail and how it never went away he gets it
Pyro
• you know for a fact bro is playing with them
• completely understands right off the bat you do not have to explain anything
Spy
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• boxtrot taunt
Demo
• too drunk to give a shite
• you may or may not find some bottles in the boxes
Engie
• May have some boxes kicking around to give you
• kinda doesn’t get it but when you explain he’s just like “ok then guess ur just quirky like that”
Soldier
• I’m gonna follow Electrro64rus and say this man is crazy about boxes
• very excited when he finds out you like collecting boxes
• don’t have to explain why you collect boxes, dude is just excited to also participate
Heavy
• utter confusion
• even when you explain it still utter confusion
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hurlingdown · 3 months ago
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hello hurling i just realized something about katakuri ass n pussy
it wont get loose!!! im in distraught because his devil fruit makes him mochi so even if he gets his ass wrecked til next tuesday HES GOING TO BE FINE! like NOTHING EVER HAPPENED THAT MADE HIM SQUIRT N PISS ON THE BED :((((
now i wanna chain him up with seastone and make him feel what its like to not clench around something 😁 so physically worn and torn that any sort of intrusion is basically nonexistent and he tries clenching to keep any sort of cum in but he cant do anything he cant clench it like a virgin when he doesnt have any powers on
but im also open to fucking him with haki infused dick dude the shockwaves that haki techniques creates could create a squirt fountain idk if you're into it but im pretty into rosebuds myself
like as we're approaching crack territory, like... shanks is so strong that his haki makes people pass out but like... what if ur haki is so trained you could make people cum from your absolute sigma dick? send vibrations through your cock like a pistol and the they're cumming so strong it sends them to a different sort of dimension. maybe they wont be able to walk or they're now 100% sure they're pregnant by then
like.. haki infused dick to battle body modifying devil fruits!!! for loose pussy katakuri!!!
- oath anon
bringing back loose pussy katakuri!! why have i never realised that his pussy would be made of mochi as well. do you think it tastes sweeter and chewier... i'm so tempted to write a katakuri pussy-eating fic rn
haki infused dick is crazy but i would be lying if i said i've never thought about writing it. but what if you could tell someone to cum from just a single command. make them squirt over and over again until they're sucked into an endless realm of overstimulation, dry orgasm after dry orgasm mercilessly pulled from only one repeated word until they're left twitching and sobbing and desperately whimpering for you to stop already, laying in a messy pool of squirt and cum, pussy all loose and sore and crying because you haven't even entered them yet.
i get so many intrusive thoughts to write crack smut SJADFJJ THSI IS NOT HELPING!!! THANK YOU FOR THE THIRSTS <33
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sturniolosangel · 1 year ago
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hands- chris sturniolo (18+)
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masterlist
warnings: (MINORS DNI) handjob/blowjob, lots of pet names, choking, unprotected sex (plz wrap before u tap it), breeding i think, chris lowkey being a sub bc i was feeling silly, idk what else😭 also not proof read so don’t dox me pookies
summary: chris really likes readers nails.. like a little to much.
text message: orange is chris and blue is reader
i’ll be home in a little gonna go get my nails done real quick💋
okay baby see you soon i love you
i love you too chris
i was driving to the nail salon when all of the sudden i got a notification from my apple pay.
chris sturniolo sent you $100 get em orange for me mama🧡
i could’ve had a heart attack from how much he cares about me. i smiled as i parked at the nail salon.
time skip…
i had just got done and i was feeling myself. i send a picture to chris of my nails in black and white so he couldn’t really see what they looked like.
thanks pretty boy you can see them when i get home i’m sure you’ll love them.
come on ma you know i hate the teasing
see you soon baby
i was on my way home and all i could think about was chris i cant believe how lucky i got with him. i turned the music up trying to drown out my thoughts. i arrive to the house i shut and locked my car an walked to the door. i opened the door to see chris on the couch he whipped his head back with a smirk as he got up and walked he’s way to me.
i put my hands out for him to look and he almost moaned at the sight. “that’s not even the best part baby” i say turning my hands over so he could see the back of my nails. the back of one of my nails had a C and on the other hand one of them had the fresh love logo. “just for me ma” he questioned. “just for you chris” i replied.
he pulled me into a kiss as i smiled into it nails finding his hair tugging. he groaned out as i pulled away keeping my hands in is hair. “aren’t you needy today baby” i smiled at him. “just missed you a lot” he said putting his head in my neck as he starting leaving kisses. “that’s it?” i question as i scratch his head. “well maybe more but” before he could finish i cut him off “but.. you need my attention huh” i say lifting his head up as he nodded. “that’s all you gotta say chris” i grabbed his hand led him upstairs.
as soon as i shut the bedroom door his lips were on mine again. my hand found the end of shirt as i lifted it over his head. he looked down on me as i kissed down his shoulders to his torso. “sit” i say gently as i point to the bed, he obeys sitting down.
i walk in between his legs wrapping my hand around his neck pulling him into a kiss as he moaned against my lips. i dragged my nails down his torso to his sweatpants lighty palming him. his head tilted back as i pulled away. i lowered down to my knees in front of him.
i slowly pulled off his pants and underwear. “this is what you wanted huh baby? you wanted me to get nails done so you could see them wrapped around your dick” i say taking him in my hand as i look up. “fuck.. yes that’s what i wanted ma” he struggled to get out. “such a slut for me baby” i speak as spit travels from my tongue to his dick.
“please.. i want your mouth” he said whimpering. i reply with taking him in my mouth while my nails dig into his thighs. he brings his hand to push my hair back looking down on me. my head goes down taking all of him swirling my tongue.
“just like that.. fuck ma don’t stop” he gasped as i gagged on his dick. his dick twitched in my mouth as i drug my nails on his stomach. his breathe started to pick up as i bobbed my head. “shit! i’m bout to!” his own actions cutting him off this time as the liquid hit the back of my throat. he moaned as he came down from his high.
i pulled off his dick with a pop as i stood up looking at his fucked out expressing. i took off my clothes as i let him calm down. i kissed him than sat on his lap. “you gonna make me feel good baby?” i asked kiss his neck. he nodded lifting me up and bring me to the bed.
i backed in to bed by the headboard as he followed me. i spread my legs for him revealing my glistening now wet pussy. he whined as he lined himself against me. “gonna make you feel so good ma.. worked so hard at work this is the least i can do” he said thrusting into me.
“fuck! chris go faster!” i almost yell out. he grips my hips pounding into me as i arch my back. i pull him down to kiss him moaning against his lips. he brings his hand up to my nipples rubbing them. i reach my hand around his neck again pulling away “gonna make me a mama for real huh? you gonna get me all round and pregnant” i speak clenching around his dick.
he let out an almost pornographic moan as he spoke “fuck ma! gonna fill you with my cum you would love that being so full of me” i arched my back as i dragged my nails against his back almost breaking skin.
“shit chris! i can feel youre close too come on pretty boy come with me” i roll my eyes back as he pumping in and out of me. he’s now on top me groaning in my ear. “god i love being inside you” he whispered. that’s what got me as i came all over his dick while screaming out.
he was right after me putting his whole load in me filling me up. we both came down from our highs chris starting pulling out and i whine from the lost of contact.
“i’ll be right back baby gonna clean you up than start a bath” he says out of breath. i sit there smiling processing what just happened. chris came back with a warm cloth as i could here the bath being on. he walking up to me and crawls infront of my pussy and takes his fingers shoving his come back into me.
“wouldn’t want that going anywhere else” he stated as he wiped my legs down. he just had his hand for you to follow him to the bathroom “chris i cant walk come pick me up!” i said as he turned back around and picked me up.
he laid me down in the bath whilie getting in behind me. he started to wash my hair for me as i closer my eyes. “what would i do without you ma” he whispered. “chris i don’t know what i would without you baby you’re my everything” i said leaning my back against him. “can’t wait to your all big and round” he smiled as he rubbed the soap on my belly. i tit my head up and give him a kiss saying “can’t wait till i’m carrying your child”. i smiled as i looked down at my nails thanking my nail artist in my head.
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anonymouscheeses · 1 year ago
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more obvious shit I wanted to point out but it's more than last time uhhh pt.2 (spoilers for dad beat dad and maybe welcome to heaven. Maybe?)
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I love that Charlie just randomly goes into demon form sometimes like here ehhehehe. Also can I just say I love Charlie so much?? She is my favorite and I love her especially in this episode because it feels like the same optimistic Charlie but she was just put in a bad situation. I relate to her a bit TOO much, almost down to every detail like wow. You'll understand later once I get there. But just wow...
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LOOK AT THIS FUNNY LITTLE MAN. SPOODER DUST <3 also. Live [image] reaction. Someone make that into a reaction image 🙏🙏
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HONEY!!! NEW MEME TEMPLATE JUST DROPPED. (Aka the one guy going crazy trying to explain the stuff on the board iykyk)
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OMG... THAT CANT BE CHARLIE... NOT CHARLIE'S EMO PHASE PLEASE BAHAHAHHAHAHA (also love that Lucifer has kept it all these years, if Charlie knew I think she'd be extremely embarrassed. Vaggie would love it probably xd)
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HE IS SO GOOFY I CANT- I LOVE HIM SO MUCH ALREADY!!! NEED.
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Broskie got character development and is NICE?!? I LOVE THAT SMMM YALL.... LOOK AT HIM!! I am very delusional yes, but I will take this over ass development(cough. Vaggie's "story" in ep 3. Cough).
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Imagine this. *holds your hand carefully to help you calm down while talking to your father you haven't really wanted to talk to.* lesbian type stuff ngl 🤯 (relatable)
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Angel looking at the gays while being a gay too. HE'S BEING SO KIND TO CHARLIE UGGHH I CANTTT!!(POS) NODDING HIS HEAD, SMILING TO HER, ALSO TRYING TO HELP CALM HER DOWN. I MAY BE ASS AT SOCIAL CUES BUT I NOTICED THIS ONE!! YAA
*SHE IS STILL HOLDING HER HAND. CHARLIE'S ALSO SWINGING IT AROUND NERVOUSLY. I can never get tired of them and will make art soon just you wait.*
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COMMANDER VAGGIE! I love that she acts like this is a camp full of tiny kids and honestly? That's not too far off. Sir pentious is at the ready! (glad he's here more often in the episode, thought he would just get sidelined after his first episode but gladly no!) Angel is just surprised. Husk spilled his drink, ON WHITE FUR NO LESS! Niffty of course is on the floor face first. Charlie is just happy to be there yippee!
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What is this?? I have no idea what the hell it is at all. Bro is just peepin- it doesn't look like Alastor, even in demon form. And... I can't think of anyone else who could be this. Anyone have ideas or maybe it's foreshadowing? Maybe it was revealed in the 6th episode I don't know I haven't watched it yet. (I am a freak. I don't binge I give myself a day to watch a single episode. Most of the time uhhh.)
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WE LOVE A SHORT KING. I LOVE THAT. I LOVE HIM. THE EVERYTHING. HE IS EVERYTHING. LET ME STRANGLE HIM PLEASE. (Lillith and Lucifer's dynamic is 100% Gomez and Morticia but a little more silly short man)
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"OH WOW! AN OLDER MAN WHO GIVES ME FATHERLY CARE!" *STARTS TO FUCKING CRY*
I FEEL YOU CHARLIE WAAAGHHH
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Oh and there goes the silly guy again! Atp I'm thinking it may be the gal some people been talking about that they've been hinting since the pilot. I forgot her name but she's said to be the big bad of season 1 or probably 2. Not sure if that's what it's trying to imply but here's my little no-thought idea
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Lucifer, no...
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LUCIFER NO!! THIS IS SUCH AN ADORABLE RESPONSE TO CHARLIE DATING A WOMAN. (ADOPT ME)
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AND THEN THE HUG! I GET IM LOOKING TOO MUCH INTO THIS ONE SILLY SCENE BUT I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH AND WANT THIS SO BAD IN MY LIFE.
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Niffty really said, "Yes, I do the cleaning."
Get yourself a taller king who is a short king but compared to you is a tall king
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Say what you will, but I genuinely want more dad Alastor, someone make an au before I do plsss and @ me 🙏🙏
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alright.. now this is where it starts to be relatable and hurt my heart... yayy.... needing any sort of parent figure that actually cares about you than the actual parent who is rarely there? WOWZA! SAME CHARLIE <3 <3 (SO FAR VERY ACCURATE FROM SOMEONE THAT IS IN THE SAME SITUATION)
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Alastor is letting her off kindly, atleast in his way. He may be pissed off she brought a shark gang to the hotel and put it on fire, but they were still close friends. With anyone else he would absolutely either murder them or have severely traumatized the person. She's the exception, although I don't think he'd let it off the hook so easily if there were a next time.
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A father-daughter embrace! :,)
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(This is gonna be messy asf) He wants to know who she is as a person. He always has, and that's definitely obvious, but from a person inside this, they may not know themselves what the other is thinking. To Charlie it was like he never cared and just wanted an excuse to not see her again, acting like he was truly busy as in the start where he made the rubber duck that breathed fire. Sure. But Charlie saw it as him finding ways to not interact with her again. The only times they talk was when it was related to business stuff or other things of the sort. Let me just say this song... is by far my favorite, including the episode. Sure, it's got problems it's own, but this extremely accurate portrayal of what my own situation with one of my parents just stole my entire soul. Yeah I got a bit of tears about to come out, BUT NOPE! NOT TODAY! I don't ever cry during shows or movies so if I ever get teary-eyed, YOU DID SOMETHING. THAT SOMETHING BEING GOOD. This episode was emotional and connected with me on a deep level that I dont think any film has ever done to me, which is weird because I've been actively trying to find one, any one that does. Then to find it in an indie company from a creator who has achieved the dreams that I myself want to one day? That's fucking amazing.
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FORESHADOWING! FROESHADOWING! FORESHADOWING! VAGGIE EX-ANGEL THEORY MUST BE CANON AND IF ITS NOT I WILL TEAR MYSELF LIMB FROM LIMB WITH A CROWBAR. LETS GO TO HEAVENNN!!! TOMORROW! BECAUSE THE DAY I PUBLISH THIS WILL BE TOMORROW(FOR YOU TODAY) BUT TOMORROW FOR YOU ILL POST THE NEXT WHAT I CAUGHT SHENANIGANS AGAIN! SEE YA!
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elainsgirl · 1 month ago
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I hate when antis say "I dont understand how people ship elain and azriel".
I feel like when they say this is that they cant understand or just dont want to understand. People who like elain and azriel are just people who saw their interactions and read the book and genuinely fell in love with them. It's not hard to understand why people ship them.
Hey anon 🫶
“I don’t understand how people ship Elain and Azriel”
Simple. We actually read the books without being biased and twisting every character to fit a certain narrative. We actually gaf about Elain and her feelings. We understand where Az was coming from in the bonus instead of labelling him with a 100 different conditions.
You have two consenting adults who like each other - they have stakes, a plot and their dynamic is mature and understanding. Why wouldn’t I ship elriel? Im not interested in ships where the fmc has no voice. Where Elain being uncomfortable is potrayed as attraction for Lucien since y’know according to eluciens when a woman is losing her boldness in front of a man it’s because she wants him soooo badly. Where Gwyns entire story revolves around Azriel. Why would I ship gwynriel/elucien when neither character in both ships want each other romantically? Im not interested in boring, unoriginal repeats which is exactly what elucien and gwynriel are. Im also not pathetically trying to insert myself to be with Az/Lucien through Gwyn/Elain which stans of those ships do. Elain was ready to kiss Az whilst her mate was upstairs. Did she hesitate? No. Azriel was ready to beg on his knees for Elain and questioned a deity for her…why would I want to ship him with Gwyn after knowing that? Why would I ship elain w Lucien knowing she doesn’t want her mate?
I shipped elriel when it was Az who paid attention to Elain and understood what she became whilst her mate stood there being useless for her. When it was Azriel who was taking Elain out to the gardens and spending time w her whilst her mate did nothing. Azriel who risked his life for Elain whilst Lucien risked his life for another woman. Elain made Az laugh so joyously, something Gwyn hasn’t done. Elain was able to pick up on Azriels emotions. Again. Something Gwyn can’t do. Anyone who says they don’t understand why people ship elriel are purposely being obtuse and oblivious. You’re right. We saw their interactions and how much importance Mass gave to them. We saw how Az and Elain developed feelings for each other. We saw how together elriel have a plot Mass has been setting up and thats how we came to the conclusion of elriel. By actually piercing and paying attention to what the author was writing down. Its a no brainer why elriel is shipped.
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goomyloid · 8 months ago
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PLEASE explain your thoughts on kriselle in full detail
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 100% UNPROMPTED ASK! I SHALL EXPLAIN
i hate toby fox. why did he do this to us. he really put it better than anyone else. not really romantic not really platonic but…. something else… some secret more sinister more heartfelt more absurd third thing
i wonder at what point should i clarify that i dont even really seek out kriselle in a romantic context… DONT GET ME WRONG i have zero issues with the ship whatsoever and all of the krisellers out there are living their best (most painful) lives and i SEE THE APPEAL. BUT when i rotate them in my brain i dont need them to kiss or anything like that i just need them to sit down and sadly hold hands and stay like that forever and ever. in case you couldnt gauge that from my art so far
tldr i dont think i ship them in the traditional sense at least …. the things that i usually fixate on for any romantic ship are not there with these two. there are no romantic feelings there In my mind. and all at the same time i start screaming and throwing up and killing myself (all positive) whenever i see them even in the same image together. hngh
ive tried explaining this to people before and they usually suggest something along the lines of a QPR and even that doesnt feel right to me. truly the best way i can put it is… that red string of fate man… which i almost hesitate on saying too because i dont actually know if noelle is Quite an important enough character to the story to warrant a connection like that. WHICH IS A CRAZY THING TO SAY. I KNOW. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING ME WRONG i think dess and her connections to gaster and her usage as a stepping stone into the weird route are all VERY important… but in my brain its just not kris/knight/asriel/every other mysterious main focus of the story Important. i didnt mean to get into deltarune theorizing here i hope nobody’s blood is boiling rn
so yeah in the end. toby fox once again put it best. they are friends, but they are also something else.
back to the actual pairing though… sometimes i think im going overboard and overestimating how close kris and noelle were as children because noelle will go and say things like “i wonder if we were ever really friends at all.” which is kind of a fair statement considering the circumstances. sure they played together and all and tagged along with their siblings to do stuff together but when dess went missing… it all kind of stopped. kris is just a kid, they dont know what to do or even how to process it, much like noelle. asriel is probably dealing with his own feelings, he just lost his friend and likely old enough to understand the weight of what happened. while noelle and kris cant say much to each other at all.
im always back and forth on speaking headcanons for kris but the one that i always seem to come back to is selective mutism… to me kris had a lot of trouble communicating well as a child and could only grow comfortable around certain people, asriel and noelle being clear examples because they’re both so patient with them. maybe because of this noelle felt like they could understand each other without really needing words, and just physical interaction was enough to achieve some form of closeness… or maybe that was all just on her end, she thinks when kris goes to play the piano. but if that’s the case, why does it feel like a concert just for her…?
jesus dont even get me start on them as teenagers either. noelle has lost her sister, and now kris has lost their brother… but not in the same way. they look at each other and wonder if they’re the same now. or, maybe thats too cruel. maybe its not the same thing at all. asriel’s coming back soon, after all. it will all be over soon, kris won’t have to feel this way for much longer, right? so then, why does kris look so miserable, sitting in the corner over there? all noelle feels like she can do is sit next to them quietly. to be there, and to somehow, vaguely, messily help each other. the misfit kids that dont really know how to talk to each other and yet understand each other regardless
thats why the dark world feels like such a dream to her. these crazy city lights, fantastical creatures, susie’s there, and she actually might have the means to defend herself and stand her ground, whether it be verbally or… otherwise
and most of all, much like with kris offering an adventurous haven to susie in ch1, the same is extended to noelle. by kris’s side, no less. it feels like theyre doing things together again, and its fun, and nostalgic… she wants to bring dess. and i think its okay to assume kris wants to bring asriel, too. recreating the make-believe world they lost so long ago… is it really possible?
no… how can it really be possible, when this isnt kris? something is wrong. its almost perfect, except kris… it’s them, but it’s not. she sees their face, their expressions, their laughs, their worries. and yet the voice that comes from them… isnt them. and it scares her! even if nothing particularly bad happened as a result. and if something bad DID happen, well…
she just wants what they had before back. is it really so impossible? can they reconcile after all these years? does kris want to? is kris capable of doing so? maybe they just need to hug again. will it feel like a real hug? the person she thought she understood is acting in ways she doesnt understand. they’re telling her to do weird things. they cycle through actions as if they just want to know what happens. and they cant even play piano anymore.
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istherewifiinhell · 5 months ago
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scheduled hopefully for appropriate insanity causing hours
304 cant believe everyone in gin.tama just lives like this. the. speech convictions dramatic childhood flashbacks promises lifestyle. not just for main characters i guess (is this guy the shogun.....)
yay yay yippppppe the guys. yay ayay yippeee flashbacks. DONT DIE.
kaaaaaaruga. always suspected. if i understood her more id be obsessed. Confirmed. 2 second in pulling that. i was waiting for ur weakness bullshit. BEAT UP UR OLDER BROTHER. (<- comma. gay? ) kagura born on this planet.... half a second of taka.gin grappling could sustain me for a life time (gin puts his hands on him to throw him) hey fellas i know this is the Sword Penis show but have u considered going at it meg.op. style. for me?
omg baby flashback leftest infighting. sugi ur not the most oppressed person in the world u know. well u would say that scholarship baby zura. diddddddd they shape each others ideologies like that. where they reading theory together as shitty little kids -> well prob not this show but lets indulge
oh right gin former. ghost eating thing. showing up to the school yard beef with a real sword.
HI SHOU.YOU. HI. his little pogchamps
loveeee how they do the blood in this show looks like velvet, alll dark shimmery. also the editing. wooooo.
bushido speech. this shit is cool actually. also leon.ardo the ninja turtle would love it (03)
zura giving him fooooood oh no. little. verbal redirects of kindness transparency
NOOOO SUGI beats gin for the first time clip NO NONO SUGI LAUGHING SLOW MO CLIP (already tearing up)
ahhhh the position of the school and the attitudes of the backgrounder kids actually very affecting and interesting isnt it.... shou.youuuuuuuu the man(thing) that u are....
ep. 305
theeeeee babies. the babies.... the babiest guys. so so charmedddd by them charmeddd again by how. unexpected? maybe. sugi and zura stick together.... the remainers..... kidtoki why are uuuu such a perfectly cromulent. thing. little. video game character ass look. perfect. shitty cool affect. wanna pinch his little cheeks 10/10 letting this kid be the leader of the playground gang.
shou.youuuuuu shou.youuuuuu. such a. believably. man with his complexities but hes being around children so (friendly voice) 'thats right. what do you think' sooooo. yeah immediately believes 100 thousand percent he means everything he says so truly yeah i probably would get. horrible weird trauma give the givens too
THROW THE SWORDS AWAY YAYYYYYY. flashback. ohhhhhhh sugi. i little. weird bitch (said in. desperate scrambling fondness. i love the things that are wrong with him)
gin boots are so hot...
SOMEONE INTIMATE TO CUT AND CURSE!!!!!!! ohhhhh babes (what could i possible say abt it that hasnt been said) well i hope they fuck themselves to death about it
fightscene styles gt vs tf <- place holder i left for myself. that will be extricated to a diff post.
gin scrambling in the blood and dirt under all the promises he has given his loved one. YES BABE. thats exactly what ur supposed to be going
ohhhhhh godddddddd the fucking beheading scene back to back from both of their perspectives oh jesus fuck oh hell. im going to. cut and curse at someone else. i guess. THANKS HIM. THANKS HIM FOR IT. (crying) cool. thats normal. i feel normal about the man (shou.you)(gin)
what the fuck. oboro real? thats fucked up. THATS WHO TAKES THE EYE? (knew this techincally) WHO THE FUCK IS OBORO. (am seeing him) why is he a grown ass man i thought he was a kicked dog of a boy.
SUGI. SUGI YOU DUMB BITCH (loves him)(loves intractable positions)(loves the emotional incommunicability of reality)(loves an emotional confliction you can never resolve and just have to die about) he did it to save u fucking losers. cause his fucking teacher dad man asked him too. and thanked him for the service. ohhhhh u miserable fucks
why did you SAVE US. say it like that. damn.
oh youd do anything. youd kill shou.you. youd kill sugi himself. just to save the student your teacher loved. okay. okay. jesus. so you are the same. so your exactly the same person. your saying things that dont even make sense youve both lost any plane of reality cause you cant separate the things youve lost from the things you have. the very people youve saved are now reflected in those youve lost and youll both kill them to keep them alive. okay. no yeah thats fine cool lol.
(i guess sugis version would technically be said in reverse, you cant separate what youve have from what youve lost and the very person you lost are reflect in the one who saved you. and to keep him alive (crying gin.toki) youd kill him)
and MOST IMPORTANTLY. because you are the same person. you see yourself in him and him in yourself and u cant figure out where you end and he begins and your diametric opposed mirror reflection goals that lead you to taking. the exact same actions. okay. lol. OKAY. lol.
WHO THE FUCK IS OBORO. GET OUT OF HERE FREAK. i was talking.
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id alt. im always saying this. or even just. Why is Oboro.
ep 306
heyyyyyy kagura! hiiiiii. youre not dead yay! hi. older brother. youre still here.
squints ohhhh these are. the cops? mayo man and. is this the other canonical gay sex haver or. (only has the normalest of second hand knowledge)
'if im just gonna end up as fertilizer anyway, i dont care if my path there is paved by roses or thorns.' damn dude. get out of the fucking. whatever ur in. and go become a metal music lyricist. what the fuck
oh shin.pachi. ur in this show.
googling. cant figure it out. whoever this green zombie bitch is sounds familiar. wish he had a name or smth.
damn there really is space in this show huh. thats crazy thats crazy. planet of the big hats vs planet of. umbrellas? anyone wanna watch space military anime.....
shogun 'i will protect the country were my friends live' what kagura said abt the planet. 'and to fulfill that goal, you'll even endure the deaths of your friends here?' gestures at the shou.you trolley problem. wow. that is tidy. good job recursive gin.tama
why do you grip that broken sword. you killed your teacher. you battled your friend. - my enemy is right here. WEVE NEVER CHANGED. weve all been fighting our own selves. ill stop him. even if it means having to kill him. but im also the one who understands how he feels better than anyone else
ohhhhhh gin. tama. ohhhhh gin. toki. i love u. i love u so much for just. saying insane thesis shit. like. yeah! YEAH OKAY! yeah thats. making out sloppy style with the narrative theming <- what do i mean by that.
be it killing him or protecting him. their both my job (gets so hard i pass out)
gin: says the most homoerotic twisted identity shit ive ever heard in my life that rests solely on. how unextractable gin. and sugi both are from each other due to. their love of shou.you. and thus. reflectionally. each other. oboro: his students are burning with hatred. <- IS HE STUPID?
and second question. upon reflection, looking at this grown ass man thing. do we have a classic ninja turtles adult beefing with teenagers situation. please tell me yes i will roast this man to shit.
(sugi also say gay twisted identity shit) [impact image font] we are. we are going to beat you to death.
[ending bumper comedy thing] u cannot deny their commitment to the bittism. need this shit for my annoying nitpick continuity fandoms. yeah no it was cause he pooped his pants. he shitted and farted.
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radioroxx · 6 months ago
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da bebes ;-; <3
THE BABIES <3 (link to og fankid post)
using this ask as an excuse to share some thoughts we had about the kids interactions with the others from the party! depending on some disc screenshots to help me lol
hehe!
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OK FIRST. MIRABELLE
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absolutely absolutely she is the type to spoil the kids. with candy and sweets and late bedtimes she just cannot say no to them ever she is far too fond. and yes she would read to them. she picks out book she especially likes, or ones that she enjoyed as a kid, and totally not as an excuse to talk about these characters she loves so much nooo-
(as long as the books are. age appropriate ofc. not too scary for the youngins,,)
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on top of that she would be very easy to talk to! isa and sif do make sure to always be emotionally open with their kids, would never want them to feel like they cant talk about something, but even then. sometimes its nice to have someone else to depend on. just in case. and mira loves to chat with em :)
NEXT. ODILE
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odile cares for these kids oooh so so so much. she would never admit it but, much like the rest of her family, she would do horrible horrible things to make them happy. even if she. isnt the best with kids. in general. shes trying her best and the kids definitely thinking her dry humour and sarcastic bluntness is funny as hell
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also she is 100% the embarrassing stories one. the kids ask her for the same silly story about their parents again and again eeevery time she visits. they never get tired of it and neither does she. (sif and isa certainly do though fjnf)
BONNIE… we didnt talk much about bonnie,,
doing some very basic math bonnie would be arounnd their? early or mid twenties when the kids are. “born”. (wished into existence). which makes me honestly so depressed and sad to thinking about ohmy god theyre growing up i might die
i think they would bond very easily with the kids though! would enjoy getting to show and teach them things- things that make themself happy like cooking etc. i do think as well bon would be trying very hard, maybe a little too hard, to appear cool and chill around them. so that they respect them. (kinda how i hc sif to have been around bon early on pre-story,, bc nothing is more validating than the approval of an 11yo lol)
OK FINALLY… LOOP…..
i already talked a bit about loop in the original post but i guess i can juuust repeat myself a lil.
loops feeling are complicated. we joked about them being a funny babysitter, the kids probably think theyre so so fun to play with, buut it might take some time to get there. its been years since the end of the loops, working through jealously and learning to be satisfied with what they do have but! this is! different!! and its hard…
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… but it gets better
(im out of screenshot space but we also had the idea of the kids putting on plays, maybe if sif ever shared his love of theatre with them, and tbey would absolutely rope loop into it. loop who is reluctant to participate until they realize how much fun theyre having with these two)
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z0mb1epuzzy · 2 months ago
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hii again (i sent the josh/chris with a nipple peircing request teehee, i absolutely LOVED what you did with it holyyy)
i was wondering about your thoughts on our characters with a size difference/kink? particularly with a shorter reader? (although mike with a taller reader actually makes me CRUMBLEEE because holy god, he'd be so whipped) also i apologize because none of my asks are likely to be completely gender neutral, i unconsciously write reader inserts as feminine unfortunately 😭
but in particular, mike and chris (chris hyperfixation been hitting hard because of you. it's all your fault, i say with heart eyes)
i wasnt positive if youd already done this, but i thought id ask just in casee
i imagine mike being cocky about it, but not too outwardly. he would more-so just tease you about it, but he makes sure to be gentle as well. hed think its just soooo cute when youre pressed up with your back against his chest, struggling to take just two of his fingers inside of you, you huffing a "fucking hell" in pitiful anger as you curse your genes under your breath, wanting him to just fuck you already. hed chuckle breathily into your neck, kissing the soft skin under your ear sweetly. "you know how this goes, hon. we need to get you all ready for me.. wouldnt want you to get hurt, now would we?"
chris, im a bit more uncertain how he would feel about it. i cant remember how tall he is off the top of my head, but he's taller than mike in game, isnt he? i feel like hes definitely used to people being noticeably shorter than him, almost all his friends are (if not all of them), so he's not usually very surprised when he encounters someone shorter than him. but then he meets you, standing at an almost sad 5'1", and he is WHIPPED. not even sexually, he just wants to hold you. you're like the perfect size for him to spoon and hold, and oh god- have in his lap. he would definitely, when hes sitting, pull you straight onto his thighs at any given moment - with absolutely no struggle, might i add. (i live for beefy!chris)
OMG, and do NOTTT even get me started on sex. he is basically using you to get off. after youve finally taken him inch by inch and gotten comfortable, as soon as he's close to finishing, he's gripping your hips, grinding and slamming you against him like his own personal fleshlight. he really didnt mean to be so rough. he apologizes for it after the fact, of course he does, because he really didnt mean to, you just felt so good and tight around him, and he just lost his resolve... i feel like hed forget his own strength sometimes? leaving bruises occasionally from accidentally gripping your hips too hard, or at least he gets close to it. hes just not used to having someone so much smaller than him. youre like a tiny teddy bear.
- 🙀
HELLO ANON OMG??? we’re gonna kiss rn bc… i am also a size kink enjoyer… i love me a big man!!!!! also it’s okay if ur asks aren’t gender neutral! i am afab myself so i totally get how u can lean a certain way without realizing!! i don’t mind :3
heehee now for the sauce i am so hype for this currently…
for this, i’m gonna focus on the smaller reader x bigger mike/chris, but if any tall babes want me to elaborate for them, i 100% can you beautiful gorgeous lengthy creatures you…
mike!! absolutely reads as a man who would (not subtly) have a size kink!!
if you’re shorter/smaller than him, it makes him feel so strong, definitely an ego boost.. watching you struggle to take him? your little hands on his body?? HELLO??!!?!!!
and even if you’re taller/bigger than mike, that’s a still a total ego boost if you let him dom you… watching someone who’s physically capable or possibly assertive totally crumble for him? LORT!
.
it’s so hot to me when a big ol man is so teasing about his physical advantage, but also gentle with you to make sure you’re okay… Mike is one of those guys, he’s a perfect mix of teasing and gentle, like his words make you expect he’s gonna be rough, but he genuinely does take care to not hurt you!! it’s cute to him when you get all whiny, his big hands on your body, one helping to stretch you a little… y’know, to make it a little more comfortable! it makes him wanna cave a little, hearing you beg sooo sweetly, but he’s gonna make you wait! it’s for your own good♥️
and chris.. drools..
chris wouldn’t realize he has a size kink necessarily.. it’s normal to like how big your hands look on your partner’s, isn’t it? doesn’t everyone feel a little extra riled up at the idea of their partner needing a lil extra foreplay to take them?
so he wouldn’t openly acknowledge it as a kink, but it absolutely is, without a doubt. just imagine… chris’s big hands squeezing your hips and thighs, basically throwing you around like a little ragdoll… bc i AGREE! chris is a strong guy who doesn’t recognize his strength sometimes, he’s just too eager to please!!?! his grip on your hips tighter than he intended, leaving little purple splotches where his fingertips had been before… UGHH!!
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stateswscarlet · 1 year ago
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hi this is the 3p person. how do i stop feeling like im doing this to change the 3D? can i acknowledge that it will change the 3D? im just confused. this manifested really fast but ive fulfilled myself with the state of being with him a bunch so why didnt that reflect like this? idk. im just scared im gonna imagine and enjoy it and nothing will reflect. i was thinking of getting coaching with you because idk what to do anymore. i hate my 3D. i just miss sp.
you need to give up on the 3D fully. you need to accept and acknowledge you (all of us) CANNOT change the 3D, we do not have the free will to do that as our free will ends in imagination. you must really sit with this and decide if you'd rather be trying to chase a shadow world and be frustrated, or would you rather 100% enjoy your imagination and feel good and be stressfree? hopefully the latter. we don't do anything to change the 3D as imagination and who were are is CONSTANTLY reflected, even before you knew about this stuff. we cant make it or un-make it reflect as creation is finished hence why we shift states. knowing the 3D changes is very different than chasing it and doing things for the 3D. the 3D will never fulfill you, only YOU choose how things fulfill you or if they even do at all. you need to understand you only want the feeling, not the actual; physical desire.
its like your shadow, do you only walk and move just so your shadow moves? or do you move because you want to? your 3d is the same, you're not constantly thinking of your shadow when you're doing things because the LAW is that its always there anyways. the law shouldn't be a comfort factor for you because it just is.
as i said in the previous ask about your situation. I'm pretty sure you haven't been fulfilling yourself as much as you think you were, and you were fulfilling yourself for stuff that wasn't even your end goal.
youre relying too much on the 3D and seeing this as smth you have to do to get them back and that is exactly where you're going wrong, you need to give up on changing the 3D completely, as edward art says you need to imagine as if there was no outer world bc the outer world has never fulfilled you and never will.
i get missing sp and those feelings are valid, but you need to realize that your life isn't going to end if you're not with them. manifesting an sp shouldn't be something you need, its something you CAN have and definitely shouldn't be approached from a desperate/needy mindset because that will lead to codependent (not saying you are like this but I'm putting it out there in case there are others). please stop revolving your life around an sp and put your crown back on. YOU made sp special, YOU are the secret sauce, they're just some random who YOU decided means something. you need to realize that (manifestation stuff aside) you will 10000% will ok if you don't be with them because you're more than content on your own and can date anyone else. i say this with love but as someone who was in your shoes and knows how it feels, you will only be running in circles if you don't approach this from a healthier mindset. work on your self concept (don't tie it to manifesting ur sp at all) and LIVE your life, do things that you enjoy, have fun/date around with other people (if you have the chance to bc remember that you're not pretending, you are single in the 3D), and stop trying to get back someone. give yourself the feelings of your dream relationship first and how it makes YOU feel, then add sp into the equation. you don't want them back, you want a fulfilling relationship. how would you feel if they came back tomorrow yet the same issues happened as they did back when you were together before/theyre just not good/the relationship sucks? that isn't what you want, you want the fulfilling relationship so focus on aspects about that and give those to yourself. you don't want their physical body back bc it means nothing to you unless you get the feelings you desire.
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nadianova · 6 months ago
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How much time do you spend planning some of your visual novels? At least going by some of them being jam submissions, it feels like you go from pre-production to a finished build very quickly, and it's amazing how you can manage that while still having an awesome story and so many assets.
Also, what is like, the process of planning a story out for you, if there's any vague or concrete similarities that you've noticed?
i think the important context here is that if i get bored/have nothing to do i jhust immediately get really suicidal its like ridiculous how bad it gets(ITS FINE DONT WORRY ABOUT IT IVE HAD 5 YEARS OF THERAPY). so i hate being bored and want to occupy my time wit something fun whatever that is. if i have a project to focus on but especially if I'm working for a game jam i have a deadline and i just decide to myself okay i will release a game now.
because ive made a decent amount of games i roughly have an idea on my capabilities, i can estimate how long it takes for me to write a story so and so long and how long it takes for me to draw stuff i need and how long it takes for me to throw stuff in renpy. these are estimates like as in I'm not accurate with it but still enough that i generally know where to start cutting ideas since the most important part is just having something to submit. i also know to plan around my brain wanting to slam my head into a wall an my hands suddenly giving up on being able to draw.
i think thats the beauty of game jams it forces you to just go for it and release something. releasing a 'bad' game is better than no game at all. experience only comes over time and i think just going for it is the best approach there is. like its literally 2 weeks 1 month whatever of your life. if you have the time and motivation go for it. make it work or fuck it up it wont matter in the grand scheme of things
im not sure what is the motivation behind the question but i do want to point out that this is just my method (if you can even call it a method) and the only way to figure out what works for you is to just try until you find something that actually works for you
idk not everyone will find it doable/fun to plan around spending two weeks gamedev 10 hours a day just cause i wanted to fit in 100 cgs for a jam game but apparently i can do that when i cheat my stupid adhd brain into hyperfocus with adhd meds
READMORE BECAUSE I CANT STOP RAMBLING
as for planning tho i think ideas on their own are worthless and its always about execution in the end. a great idea or a meh idea are the same for me but i do still enjoy the planning process so i keep notes
like i see a great tumblr post or i see some art or visual novel has some scene that inspires me: i save that shit for myself
having a big collection of random floating ideas like that helps me easily pick from especially during a jam type duration. right now i have like 4-5 half-baked project skeletons, some are literally like 3 pictures and some like naomida are a hundred hours worth of me writing world building about how the toilets work in a city with no plumbing cause its -30celcius(i love bringing this up)=
i dont normally plan that much, i tend to just wing it. like for malmaid i seriously just had some rough ideas and just went along as i wrote
same thing for dddeviance i had a handful of scenes that i really wanted to make and knew what kind of start and end it was meant to have and just figured out how to fill the in between. a lot of plot points changed vastly like halfway through i realised my devil + angel combination was stupid and i should just go for fallen angel + angel.
i think there really is no simple answer tho (as evident from the long as hell post) i don't really have a 'process' because every single game has been worked on has come with different type of planning since I'm always trying new stuff to try and distract me from boredom. like I've been using obsidian for naomida while previously I've just used a empty discord serve as my notes app for malmaid and dddeviance
and tbh with naomida I'm running to a new problem where I'm definitely planning too much. like I'm spending too much time fidgeting with details in chapter 4 even when i haven't finished writing chapter 1 just cause its so easy to get in the loop of "oh ill just change this one line" and boom 20 mins spent playing with my notes that didn't really progress my game since by the time i reach this point the whole scene might have shifted to something else
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but if i had to squeeze an answer itd be something like everything related to my art or writing or games is just like "oooooo that seems fun i should remember this for later" and then i just string 10-100 of those into a story
i tend to write my stories in a format of
character A does this and that
this happens here
puppy play ryona piss orgasm
new day and then this happens here
sad thing happens
more piss orgasm
the end
and just like start filling in more details and working on my story in a nonlinear fashion until i feel like i have a strong enough skeleton that i can start writing my scenes. i hop around a lot, often preferring to write the fun scenes first like ero stuff or the ones I'm the most interested in and then the rest is just filling the blanks and stringing the cool scenes together
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