#and i feel bad about it sometimes
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Books I want to read in 2023
I am a very, very slow reader, for many reasons, several of which amount to bad time management and too many hobbies. Still, there's several books I want to read this year, and I'm thinking that maybe if I write them down, I'll manage to do it. Or some of it. I don't know.
The idea is that I'll reblog this when I finish a book or more to see my progress.
The Hawkmoon series, M. Moorcock (that's 7 books, but i'm not listing them one by one.)
Moi, Oméga, E. Barillot (it's in french.)
Gideon the Ninth, T. Muir (i've had it since December 2021. still unread.)
Legendborn, T. Deonn
Vingt Ans Après, A. Dumas
Le Vicomte de Bragelonne, A. Dumas (this one is tentative and will depend on whether or not i manage to read VAA)
Horrorstör, G. Hendrix
This seems like a long enough list for someone who has read 0 books in January and February.
#book list#bookblr#or something.#books 2023#i'm going to use that tag and hope it's not used for something else already for uh#finding it later reasons#oh let's also use#find later#yeah. good idea.#sometimes it sucks because i see my friends read stuff and i am just.#i'm just not reading.#and i feel bad about it sometimes#which is dumb ! because uh#if i read all day i could be just as fast#i am doing other things#so. yeah i don't know why i get jealous sometimes even though you know#different people different paces#????#guess i want more hours in a day so i can do everything i already do AND read#unfortunately that's called depriving yourself of sleep and i thoroughly enjoy sleeping#anyway yeah i want to read a lot of fiction this year because lately i have had 0 brain for nonfiction anyway#even though i think my to read shelf is pretty evenly divided between the two
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i'll let phie-san say it:
#the vids i've seen on tiktok picking at her immediately get a block...#bitter otaku sitting in their socks in their mom's basement feeling threatened/enraged by a hot successful black woman outnerding them-core#also this kind of criticism is so demoralising and damaging to people who are trying to learn another language#also. accents are NORMAL and not a bad thing#i don't think that the end goal of picking up a new language necessarily has to be sounding native#and i know sometimes the way japanese people react like SUGOIII? *W* when a foreigner says like one (1) word in japanese is joked about#but like... genuinely... i always love when someone clearly has made an effort and took the time to learn some of the language#anyway she can step on those haters <3#also like. it’s just some lines in a song people need to relax…#megan thee stallion#autoplay warning#japan#japanese#language#mamushi
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genie: so, you have three wishes-
me: i want everyone in the world to be able to size shift between two inches tall and fifteen feet tall, at will, in a totally safe manner, EXCEPT for my ex and anyone within a 100 meter radius of them. everyone they see or meet will be the exact same height as them.
genie: that’s…. specific.
me: they’re into size. imagine knowing g/t is now real and exists, and you will NEVER get to experience it firsthand. i cannot think of a worse fate for any size fan.
genie: ….y’know what, fuck yeah. let’s do this
me: YAY. so for my second wish, i’m thinking bigass sword
genie: NICE
#g/t#which ex is this about? i’ll never tell#i genuinely feel like ive moved on but sometimes i think of some funny shit like this and i have to post it#so pls dont think im hung up on anyone. im just a comedian who capitalizes on life experiences#anyways. god i want a sword. i want one so bad#i want a replica of inigo montoyas blade SOOOO BAD
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Look what we've become.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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a little siffrin comic about touch, violence, and oranges
#please isat ppl… i worked so hard on this… (<- learned how to draw oranges)#anyways i was thinking about how siffrin says crushes feel like a disease sometimes. i was thinking abt his intrusive thoughts. and about#-bad touch. and about that orange poem. and about how he doesn’t know touch. how violence is easier. even if it feels bad.#siffrin#isat siffrin#isafrin#<- its more abt siff than isa but he is also there!! look those are his hands!! he’s important ok…#in stars and time#my art#also words r by me i forgort to mention#isat#100+#500+#1k+#my writing
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different POV of this comic
x
#ethan winters#karl heisenberg#wintersberg#resident evil#resident evil fanart#rebhfun#resident evil village#resident evil 8#re8#i dont think karl would ever be the kind of guy to outwardly verbally say “i love you”#not to say he DOESNT love ethan#he just has a lot of trouble saying those three words out loud lol#he shows his love in a different way but i think its hard sometimes#had a conversation with my friend and i think if ethan and karl were to get into a argument karl woul definetly not apologize#he would definetly feel bad and sulk a lot#but i dont think he would ever bring himself to say hes sorry#hes a little too arrogant and emotionally stunted to do that#sorry i like thinking about all the aspects of relationship dynamics#hed apologize by making ethan a robot that kills people who r mean to him IDK LOL
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in a mood (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#doing straight up nothing with the bestie. really good activity of doing nothing#i mainly drew this just so i can test how itd be not drawing their faces bc i Love drawing their faces a little too much.#maybe ill throw them in a more intense situation next time i try it bc it just ended up focusing on wolfwood and his silly newspaper#he's reading the news... cruel happenings all around no mans land... have to keep up to know where to go next and where to avoid#but theres also some guy in the same room being distracting as hell. i think they can coexist without bothering each other but theyd#be so painfully aware of the other person... both of them usually have tended to their own space after all for years. ww especially i think#would be easily distracted with vash's presence bc he's spent 2 years thinking about him already (for his mission...)#and thinking about vash is a Little easier than dealing with his personal anguish#though it can definitely overlap too. and sometimes its not that bad. sometimes its just vash's hand feeling unexpectedly nice and gentle#ruporas art
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alternate surface au inspired by a few ive seen around on tumblr :3
#my art#pressure roblox#roblox pressure#sebastian solace#painter pressure#thought more abt my headcanons for seb’s anatomy and like. lol that tail is not pure muscle hes got guts in there.#that + the fact that there’s spinal cord in there means itd be a bad idea to try and amputate it#the wagon/eventual wheelchair is mostly for outdoor use i imagine.#<- specificallt]y for outdoor surface textures/debris that’d be bad for him to slither on#also. chronic pain have i dont think suddenly shrinking his whole body did much good for that#i imagine he and painter have like. a pool. to help with that and other needs he has now.#but he wouldnt wanna use it for a long while#there was a sort of. disconnect between his idea of freedom from urbanshade vs the reality of it i think.#like. thinking things could. on some level. go back to normal#and not considering that some of his mutations would be irreversible#and having to confront/cope with/accomodate himself about that#seb wants to be normal again but we cant all get what we want can we!#sometimes healing involves working with or around irreversible change buddy!#btw if feligayzed sees this. hiii hii your au was one of the big things that kicked my brain off on this and i wanna make fanart sometime#oh yeah this is . also.#sebpainter#pressure pathways#pathways#wow i dont think ive written a wall of tags that big in a long time. can you tell im having normal feelings about them
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Moots spamming my notes = 🥰
Sketchy blogs spamming my notes = 🤢🚫
#also put your age in your bio#sometimes i feel bad for getting the ick when some people do it and not for others#but it's all about the vibes 🤷♀️#mine
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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Life is too short.
[ my art ] [ twitter ]
(detail + ratio rambling under the cut >_>)
This is one of those "I need a break between my ten other illustrations, let me do a lil sketchy sketch :D" that got too ambitious etc. etc. I never want to see the color red again" moments. BUT!
I really, really like to explore Ratio's viscerality and what's happening between his brain and his nerves, like... all of this thorough control and discipline and he still has to breathe and react to himself and his surroundings, you know? His accomplishments are insane for "his age"* but he's going to run out of "age" at some point! His ambitions are so far reaching that he's not worried about getting doctorate degree Number Nine! Rather, his efforts are pointed outwards, into the universe, for the universe. As you know.
Speaking of his degrees, I had a half thought a while ago that we've seen him with two types of laurel pins.
One is him in his suuuuuper cute mother goose avatar (three leaves) and the other is the hat he's wearing everywhere else (eight leaves).
The thought was, "Aww, what if they're like commemorative pins counting the number of his degrees or whatever :)". Literally only because there's eight in the current one. This is kind of silly because then you'd HAVE to have an obscene number of degrees even for a normal person for your leaf pin to start looking like a laurel in the first place so scratch that BUT it's cute to think that it's still academic regalia. Something something I work in higher ed myself and it's like... it's like that.
The university goldsmith appreciates the job security.
I REMEMBER WHY I BROUGHT THAT UP. FOLLOWING the fantasy where more leaves = more knowledge!, in summary, even though Ratio seems to be a little beyond trying to get a prize every time he learns something now. But he does want to Keep Going. He can only Keep Going.
So I drew him in a bathtub full of an uncountable amount of gold leaves looking at the camera with an indescribable expression born from a hunger that will never be satiated lol DETAIL SHOT!
*Referenced only vaguely in a comment in the context of astonishment, but it could have easily have been "woah he's accomplished so much for his age (young)" as it could be "woah he looks good for his age (older)". There is no canon age and even then, reconciling standardized system time versus planetary time versus "does his particular breed of lizard human have the same lifespan as tumblr user nhura?" is a losing game for everyone involved! Here's what I think: I think he started going grey in his early twenties, whatever that means in spacefantasygame, and that that's very cute on him.
Do YOU think Ratio would be tempted by immortality???? Or would he MIND HIS BUSINESS
#dr ratio#dr. ratio#hsr fanart#veritas ratio#hsr#my art#SORRY FOR THE INSANE COLOR CHOICE I feel bad posting this in ratio circles because normal ratio art is pleasing on the eye.#blue and gold and white. some ivory. tan sometimes. like fresh air on a brisk day#not piss christ is what i'm saying#in my defense his eyes look like that anyway so this is actually Topical.#I want to talk about Ratio's self image and relationship to his own flesh but that's for another day. unless you ask me niceys#my art: hsr#honkai star rail#holding up a sign that says I LIKE THAT RATIO'S PHYSICAL BODY IS BOTH A CONTINUOUS PROJECT AND LABOR OF PERFECTION WHILST BEARING THE CONSE#THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS EXTRAORDINARY LIFE#PART 3: why does ratio not have an art degree? it's simpler than you think.#okay i'm done BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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im with fam but i always thinka him so doodle time
#xmen#xmen comics#erik lehnsherr#magneto#snap sketches#'hey guys i wont have time for doodle posting for a bit' me when i lie fCKJWRBKH#i actually dont likr this too much but im posting just so i can ramble bout erik fjKJCNWKDCHJ#I dont think its bad just not really post worthy#i draw this mfer sleepy so much thatswhy i dont like this#i usually just hoard doodles like these since they dont feel super share worthy to me but i repeat#i just want an excuse to talk about erik and i wanted a homegrown visual#anyway. i have wine in me im being bold <- its not that bold#sometimes i look at how the black lines on krakoa eriks design put focus on his. //coughs// front#and i get lightheaded like mfer if you do not want me to stare do not put a literal box in front of my EYES#ok thats literally it. i wanna try to doodle something ill be Happy happy to share but lbr i cant muster anything anymore tonight#so for now bye bye hope everyone had a good day today !!#im gonna go draw erik indecent maybe ill feel better then
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Sometimes I think back on when chapter 2 came out and there were people saying that Susie’s turnaround from ch1 to how she is in ch2 was too sudden and jarring. Hell, even back in ch1 people were saying that Susie’s character development happened too quickly.
then Spamton sweepstakes happened and so did the newest girl post, which I really think was partially meant to serve as a reminder to people entering the fandom with ch2 that this is how she used to be.
Not to mention the aftermath of the Lancer fight, with how quickly she went from seemingly wanting to tear Lancers fucking throat out to immediately wanting to reconcile with him and affirming their friendship. (which. the whole thing WAS a huge misunderstanding. but still)
besties I think this is just how she is. She’s a good person and great friend but she’s also a little bit emotionally unstable! And I love her for that!!
#I fucking love her you dint understand!!!#maybe I’m wayyyy overthinking a game that isn’t even out in its full version. lmao#but sometimes I think about her character arc in the span of two chapters and its wild highs and lows so far#I need to replay this game and like. take notes on her#and when the next chapters release see how they expand on her character. and pinpoint the consistencies throughout. yknow.#I LOVE LOVINNG CHARACTERS!!! IT’S SO FUN!!!#i sometimes I feel bad that this hyperfixation might be at the expense of other characters#but I guess that’s the risk you incur when you enter a fandom and a certain character REALLY stands out to you#further reason I should fucking replay this game I guess. lol#oof. sorry for the ramble.#Susie deltarune#deltarune#safeutdr
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So one thing I like about Time is that he will talk about his life and journeys
He talks about it! He'll tell the boys stories and answer questions. (...when asked)
Obviously he tells his family- Malon knows everything
But he has also never held back from telling the boys stories or answering questions
I'm still always cackling over him telling them about gerudo town- he is way too proud to brag about being a mischievous gremlin
"I proved to be a greater thief than all of ganons tribe"- oh yeah. He's definitely the good influence. (That's sarcasm, Wars is the one good example for the younger ones.)
He just. He looks so smug to tell them about his experiences with the Gerudo- I love how often we see him just talking to them and answering questions about his life.
Even if it's clearly painful memories- he has still always told them
*sobs*
Obviously Time talks to Twilight the most about stuff- and everyone knows that (to where Sky went to him for questions about Time)
But the thing that get me the most is Wind.
Wind asked about... everything! Wind asked about his first journey and his life- and Time told him
The sheer transition from
"I was wondering... about your original journey"
To
"You told me about your original journey. Everything you said... the sages you described, the old traditions, the old stories- all of it! ...)
And this literally drives me insane because Time told him- Time told him everything! He told him about the sages, traditions- Time literally openly talked to Wind about his first Journey because he asked.
The Hero of Time's story had always been a tragedy- I mean... yikes. Trauma much? But I think people overlook this part of him- that he's older. All the hurt and scars are still there, but he has learned to talk about it to deal with it. And I think I know why- (Read)
Malon Malon Malon Malon!!! Jojo showed this set up for their marriage- Time was and is traumatized. But he and Malon worked to talk through things. I mean. Can you imagine keeping secrets from Malon? I don't want to. I feel like she would throw a cow at me. Anyways.
It takes a lot to work through trauma and learn to talk through it. Malon claimed him tho, so I don't think he had a choice. But seriously- she helped him work through things as family. Which led to a successful marriage for both of them, and got Time to where he can talk about these things with the boys :D
But
Time is a troll, so although he will share his insane life stories.... he will also say he fought the moon with no more context, and tell his wife that they have a descendant but not freaking tell her which one it is.
He's so insane I love it <3
Just don't forget this part of him... don't forget that rather it's sad or goofy or whatever- he will talk about his life. If someone simply asks
:)
.
Art and comic by Jojo @linkeduniverse au! :DDD
@adrift-in-thyme
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#Lu Malon#Lu time#goof#WHAT a way to be promoted to grandpa who shares crazy stories#I feel like I'm contradicting everyone here#everyone seems to incorporate him being traumatized and silent and secretive about it#and he's definitely traumatized but#I mean he even responded well to Wild holding up Majoras mask in the masks comic#he WILL talk about it#which is a good thing... sometimes. he's definitely a bad example with the Gerudo town stuff tho#'I humiliated them' could he be any more smug about that difnfigjgifjrg#anyways#I'm doing it!!! I'm posting!!#I hope it's ok to tag you trin?#let me know if not :))#and if I said anything offensive or something ever. let me know.#I love you guys :)
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You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.
-Shrimp Anon
The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.
Get ready cause this is a yap session:
Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.
I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.
The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.
This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.
Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...
These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.
I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.
Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.
It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.
I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.
It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.
There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.
End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.
#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces#regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary#but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful#and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to#explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen#in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what#is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit#from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line#in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue#that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t#upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do#something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those#two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example#or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the#fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically#violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out#in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game#but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of#rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se#how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is#concerned about with Jimmy#and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy#instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste#which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab#complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post#on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if#you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make#the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions
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So I’m watching Danny Phantom for the first time and in S1 E27, the Fenton Menace (great name, btw) Youngblood makes his second appearance. When he first showed up I was like “oh my word this is a child who died, that’s so freaking sad” and like yeah, but that’s standard for the show. Now you’re telling me he only appears to kids? As in adults never see him? Never notice him?
That. That brings up some implications I really don’t wanna think about.
#Like wow#was he neglected?#That seems most likely to me#He’s just so young#I can’t help but feel bad for him and given this information…#Sometimes I forget that this show is literally about kids who died#I’ve gotta find a fic or something#danny fenton#danny phantom#phandom
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