#and i dont leave my house enough to be in loud spaces

[maxellminidisc]

Tinnitus finally caught up with my ass, huh....

[gibbearish]

oh no im remembering why i liked sebastian so much my first time through

[sixflame438]

Chasing Lightning

Synopsis - Your girlfriend’s in a mood and locks herself in your room causing you to sleep apart. It starts thunder storming in the middle of the night but Minjeong is scared of lightning

Pairing - Kim Minjeong X Reader

Tags - Fluff, light angst, mild astraphobia, established relationship, grammatical errors probably, another 3am post

A/N - A short fic i wrote in one go (yay me), will try to get the other drafts out of the basement after my last 2 exams :D

Wordcount - 1726

Minjeong was mad again and you dont have a clue why. All you did know was that you finished your dinner alone and that your apartment was lacking the usual lively energy of your girlfriend. It was like winter had frozen over with how silent and chilling being in the apartment felt, not even the sounds of a drama playing quietly in the background.

You missed your girlfriend despite her simply being a door apart. And of course you tried multiple times to get her out, whether that was sincerely asking her to or attempting to lure her out with snacks they were all to no avail. She just wouldn’t budge.

If it weren’t for the muffled noises coming from behind the door you probably wouldve assumed you were home alone but they were very real and they definitely came from your girlfriend. You deduced the sounds to be crying and sniffling and it hurt you to hear them, even more knowing you had no way to stop them.

You couldnt even begin to figure out why she was in such a mood. It was like this when you came back from work.

No hugs

No kisses

No Minjeong

No nothing

You couldve easily spent the entire night trying to coax her out but you were tired and sweaty from work and all you wanted to do was crash out while snuggling with your favorite person.

If Minjeong wasnt going to let you in, youd just have to give her some time and space. You had no choice anyway.

She had locked you out of your own bedroom and left you to fend for yourself alone. (it was practically both of yours with how often she was in there with you but the audacity of this girl)

And since most of your stuff was in there you had to make do with what was left scattered around the house. It really wasnt that hard though since you were quite the clumsy mess, always forgetting and leaving things in places they shouldnt be.

In your scavenger hunt you had found a spare set of clothes to change into, some makeup wipes to clean your face with and half of the products required in your night routine.

You took a quick shower to freshen up and rearranged the couch so that you would have an easier time trying to sleep. There was a spare blanket bundled in the corner from your movie night 2 days ago which you could use and some cushions and pillows you could stack to provide another layer of comfort.

Laying onto your makeshift bed, you struggled with finding a good position to sleep in. The couch wasnt ideal to sleep on and the cushions kept moving out of place everytime you turned. It wasnt much but it would have to do, youd just have to hope it was enough.

————————————

It wasnt enough. You were certain just lying on that made you feel worse than you did before. The uneven feeling of the cushions didnt help either as different parts of your body were elevated while others were feeling the hard surface of the couch.

The weather didnt help much as a thunderstorm started as soon as you tried sleeping and no matter how hard you wanted to, you couldn’t will yourself into slumber either. The raging downpour of rain mixed with the thunderclaps created a painful symphony of pattering noises, uneven and aching to the ear, perfect to distract someone from falling asleep.

Lightning had also started coloring the dark skies with its striking flashes, loud and unpredictable. Since you couldn’t sleep you decided it would be fine to indulge in the lightning instead, pulling over a chair and opening the blinds so you could see the skies better.

The low dim light glowing from the moon and the dark midnight sky helped illuminate the lightning strikes and bright stars. If you were a photographer you wouldve definitely tried capturing the moment in physical form but keeping the scene in your head was alright too.

Other than the scene being quite stunningly beautiful (like your girlfriend) you found it quite funny as it kind of looked like the sky was trying (and failing) to play connect the dots with the stars. You dont know why but you were just so entertained by the sight.

It was rare but you had always enjoyed seeing the natural phenomenon nonetheless, finding it quite fascinating and inspiring.

Your girlfriend on the other hand?

Strong stoic Minjeong was never a fan of lightning, it was quite an experience the first time you both saw the flashing lights together. The high pitched squeals and screams could never leave your head and you didnt want them to. It was fun seeing that side of her and even more fun teasing her about it.

You remember bringing her close and spending the night in each others embrace, forgetting the world as it faded away. This time though you weren’t there for her, you couldn’t even if you wanted to all because of a stupid locked door.

You were really hoping Minjeong had already fallen into a peaceful slumber and hadnt heard the harsh sounds of the lightning. Considering you hadnt heard any noises from your girlfriend yet you took it as a good sign but the worrying feeling wouldnt leave so you remained unsettled.

That feeling was quickly sidelined though as another bolt of lightning hit. This one had a tint of red to it which you found absolutely amazing. You had learnt in a previous deep dive that lightning strikes could reflect any colour in the spectrum so seeing it in person was mind blowing.

You were so mesmerized by the colours and sounds of the lightning that you didnt hear the slight click of the bedroom lock or the soft padding of feet in your direction. It wasnt until you felt 2 tiny arms around your waist that you snapped out of your haze.

Part of you was still resentful of how quickly Minjeong shut you out (physically and mentally) but as soon as you registered the tears coming from your beloved you crumbled.

Even though Minjeong was stubborn and acting up all you wanted to do was wrap her up and cradle her in your arms. She was always there for you so the least you could do was be there for her as well.

As you turn around to properly to face your girlfriend a perfectly timed lightning strike allowed you to see her entire face in all of its glory. Minjeong mustve been crying for a while by the red eyes and flushed cheeks.

You physically soften at the sight, heart filling with sympathy and concern as you observe your girlfriend for any other signs.

There was nothing you wanted more than to pull her into your arms and spend the rest of the night comforting her. Even your ego tried to resist but you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching out and doing just that.

You pull her onto your lap and with one arm rubbing her back in circles and the other running down her hair in a soft delicate motion you coax Minjeong into finally letting out the remaining tears. The weight of your comfort too heavy to bear.

A croaky im sorry is all you hear as your girlfriend starts sobbing into your shoulder. You’re not sure what shes apologizing for. Maybe for crying? For being vulnerable? For locking you out of your room? Her fear of lightning? Probably all of the above.

Humming in acknowledgment you continue to console Minjeong, whispering soft reassurances in between sobs. As the storm eventually faded out, Minjeongs crying evened out too. Soft whimpers and hiccups could be heard amongst the sprinkling of rain.

You have a feeling that Minjeong would’ve succeeded in staying the entire night alone in your room if it weren’t for the lightning scaring her out.

“Hey lets get some rest now that the rains subsided. Im gonna take you back into the room okay?” You dont wait for a reply as you gently lifted Minjeong off your lap and guided her to stand and lean onto you.

Slowly and steadily you lead her back into the bedroom and notice the soaked pillow doused in her tears. Hell no were you going to let her sleep on that. Luckily you were a person who loved sleeping with multiple pillows so you had some spare hidden away.

(Minjeong found it impractical having pillows to hug when you could just cuddle with her instead and your bed was only so big so you moved them to make room)

You pull out the unused pillows from your storage closet and tuck Minjeong back into bed with little resistance, her already tired state fueled by the lack of energy from all the crying.

Ensuring she was comfortable and safe you place an affectionate kiss on her forehead.

You were hesitant on whether you were allowed to join her or not, as you still didnt know why she was upset and if you had played a part in her suffering. But your questions get answered with a simple

“Stay”

Quiet and low but you heard it. Not allowing yourself to linger any longer, you climb into bed and tuck yourself in too. Gently wrapping your arms around Minjeong as you did before, careful not to set her off again.

It takes a while for Minjeong to calm down fully but with your soothing touches she eventually drifts off. As soon as you registered her breathing falling into a stable state, you allowed yourself to relax for the first time that night. Basking in the closeness of her company, you lay another tender kiss on her forehead and temple.

It didnt matter what had happened, as long as you were still able to kiss her goodnight that’s all that mattered. Youre still skeptical about Minjeongs behavior, being kept in the dark about something as important as this was not something you enjoyed but you had a feeling that it would work out. Tomorrow was new day and you had plenty of time to decode her then.

Now that Minjeong was back in your arms you were never letting her go (unless she tried to lock herself in again that is)

[bishiglomper]

I went down to try to find the goddamn water bottle I threw. Couldn't find it. Niece tried to talk to me. I shook my head and ignored her.

Threw other stuff.

Fuck it. Turn on the cold shower and just step in. Fully clothed.

Niece must have texted my sister. She asked if there was something she could do. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Mom comes in imploring what's wrong. I say I don't want to speak to ANYone. She doesn't know what happened.

She asks my sister

"She's hot. D< "

I sent everyone to the movie I wanted to see at a theater I refuse to go to because bro can't leave town. And i wanted to get them out and in ac during the hottest part of the day on the hottest day of the week. And when mom said she wasn't joining either of us I practically begged her.

And I go to aunts despite the risk of having to talk to my rigid conservative uncle (whos caused me a very loud meltdown before) and do other people's laundry because niece needs her work shirt and the baby needs clean clothes. No one asked me to.

I do not ask for anyone to work on the house becase that wpuld just go straight to my sister's department and I know she's also at her limit and she's doing her best just to function. She has the baby when niece is at work. She has Migraines.

I haven't asked if nephew is even in any sort of school program this year. I'm guessing he's not. Not a damn thing happening there. Because my sister has enough going on

But when I'm struggling in my habitat, unable to feed myself because the house is too messy, the fridge is struggling in the heat and the food is going...

The only space I have is a falling apart leather chair with a completely shredded seat that I never wanted, no space to even lay a small workboard and my shit is just laying in grocery bags buried under all sorts of other shit.

When my already shitty, in pain body can't tolerate this heat

WHICH WE'RE DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT

Because the house is too bad to let a worker in let alone tell the landlord so then we'd have to pay for it which we can't, but we can go play out of town at an arcade and shopping for several hours. Hundreds of dollars.

ITS OKAY, AT LEAST ITS FUCKING SEPTEMBER

WE DONT NEED AIR CONDITIONING IN SEPTEMBER

ITS NOT LIKE ITS 89 DEGREES OUTSIDE AND AN EXTRA TEN DEGREES IN.

It's been 2-3 hours and I still want to smash things.

Literally only thing keeping me from violently tossing my own room is I don't want to frighten Bong Water, who's stuck in here with me.

Literally. The Only. Reason.

But yeah, no, I'm "just hot"

I'm constantly imagining throwing my grandpa's dresser out the fucking window and using the fan as a bat.

Oh BTW it's supposed to storm tonight

I'm keeping my window open.

If anyone touches it I'm throwing hands.

If the window gets ripped off, hey, at least it'll be cheaper than an ac to fix.

By the way, the last time one of us cried fully clothed under a shower, we got them some fucking help.

But no worries, I'm "just hot"

[mymegumi]

OMG SELENE!!! the event is A D O R A B L E i’m so excited for it ! if you have some space still left in the matches i would love to participate 🫶

here’s my info!!

name: kit

preferred anime: hq!!

preferred gender: male

best thing about the holidays: CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

a bit about me: i love christmas and all BUT i’m defo a summer girl, i’m super extroverted around people i’m close to but come off as introverted at first, i am never serious and love humour, i love travelling, surfing, docuseries, cats, going for drives + to weekend markets … that’s it HENDNSJ

hope you’re having a lovely first of december !!! 🎄

thank u for the sweetness kit!! hehehe i last minute added the matchups so im so glad u like them!! tbh i was lowkey surprised abt the hq matchups bc i dont rmbr the last time i talked abt hq on this blog!! it was fun to think abt those boys again!!! so tonight i match u with:

OIKAWA TOORU !

ok so based off of the extroversion and the activities and stuff, i can def see y’all being that loud couple at parties that jus seem to always attract crowds and are just so so fun that you can’t manage to look away from them. you are also both just always doing smth fun and going out together to dinners, parties, events—anything! i can see you both also having some rlly funny convos, like gut cramp funny. the two of you have to sometimes get told off by iwa for never being serious enough and he has to definitely keep the both of u in line. also the two of u being travel buddies??? you fs go w him to argentina, can even offer up to go on trips with him so he isn’t lonely, somewhere along the way you both just end up country hopping europe and backpacking across america or smth. its so adventurous and wild the relationship tbh. also,,, def see y’all settling down w a shit ton of pets. oikawa keeps saying no more cats n then all of a sudden he’s coming home w a stray n ur like… ok fine. n then u have three more cats cause ofc u cant leave her kittens behind.

RUNNER UPS: ⠀ ෆ hinata shoyou ⠀ ⠀ ⤿ can def see y’all soaking up the sun in brazil ⠀ ෆ kuroo tetsurou ⠀ ⠀ ⤿ the king of cats man, how can u not love him??

“babe! this house has a light up snoopy figure!” oikawa calls out, excitement clear in his eyes and the high pitched tone of his voice. he’s standing, like, three feet in front of you—purely because he’s about seventy percent leg—and is seemingly unaware of the stares he’s getting. his attention is solely on you. “oh my god, do you think they know about the puffer jacket plushie?”

“i mean,” you start, finally making your way back to his side and sliding your fingers into his, “he’s practically superstar level. megastar, even. there’s no way they don’t know about him.”

he nods sagely, already tugging you in the direction of another house that has a giant snowflake adorning the front of it. it seems as if the house’s light decoration also flickers and pulses in time with a jolly christmas tune playing on the speaker. oikawa is mesmerized instantly.

“oh my god, i want to die here.”

you feel like you kinda agree. here, where you’re happy and a bit chilly, but holding hands with the man you love. here, in this small christmasy town that seems to love their light decorations.

back to event masterlist

[multistansimp4life]

We lost the summer ch.1

Kai and reader are childhood friends and they have this thing where they make a list of things to do for their summers during the school year. How will this summer end!

(Inspired by kissing booth 3)

“I wilL alwAys love yOu”

“Stop stop no more, please my ears” says the brunette laying on the bed with his ears covered. “Maybe you should put singing lessons on the list” he finishes laughing so hard tears are running down his face. 

“Well im sorry not everybody is as gifted at singing as you are” you replied rolling  your eyes. It was true his voice is one of the most clearest most angelic voices youve ever heard. But your singing was the exact opposite your voice always cracked and you couldnt hit a right not to save your life.  

“But how will we do that together” you asked

The list you were talking about is The summer To Do list. You guys made it when you were in third grade and kept the ‘tradition’ since. During the school year yall would fill the list up with a bunch of things you both wanted to do when summer came.

“I could still improve my singing so i can sign up to” kai responded now looking at his phone.

“But we would most definetly be seperated into different classes”

“Yea I guess your right that wouldnt work” he sighed. 

“I have an idea” you say excitedly “ ive always wanted to try acting class”

“That does sounds fun. Write it down.”

You grab the orange sharpie and wrote the number 1. Acting classes. The paper is like a long scroll and looks as ancient as one. You write down the year of the summer leave a space under it for when summer is over to name the summer. Then yall write down the list.

“Lets think of some more things another day.” Says kai yawning. I look over to the clock not noticing how much time has passed its now 11:37 and we both have school tommorow. 

“Ok ill head home goodnight kai “ i say while collecting my stuff to leave. 

“Bye y/n get home safe”

The walk home is like a routine. You live on the same street as kai and the amount of times youve walked to and from his house is to many to even try and count.

When you walk into the house you can hear your parents talking, well more like arguing but in a light voice. You just hope it stays that quiet and you can get some rest. Though its highly unlikely because their arguments always get loud and you barely can rest.

You walk into your room and flick on the lights. Your room was in pretty nice shape since you cleaned just a few days ago.

You go and flop on your bed and almost immediatly fall asleep. There was no need to change since you went to kais in your pajamas. 

“CRASH”. You were suddenly woke up by something fragile hitting the ground. You looked at the time and it was 12:06 you barely got 30 minutes of sleep. You dont know what you were expecting it happens almost every night for the past few months. 

Your parents have both been fighting with each other over every little thing and it was not healthy. You used to not be able to sleep at night because they were so loud but it started happening so often that you invested in some earbuds. 

It was pointless of you to go tell them to quiet down because then you would get yelled at by both of them. So eventually you stopped. 

You reached over in your nightstand and take them out and plug them, hoping you would get enough sleep to be ready for tommorow.

(a/n This is my first fanfic and if you like it pls comment. It helps motivate. Also dont know the update scheduling.)

[thea-dacity]

I had to make a separate tumblr for this because my roommates follow me on all my social media, and I cannot make this post there because my roommate will see it, and I cant fudge the details enough that she wont know it's about her. But I need somewhere to vent because if i dont i will explode, even if my usual support group wont be there to help.

4 years ago, my girlfriend and I decided that we were going to live together with another couple in a rental home and split the rent 4 ways. Rent in our area is stupidly high, and I was struggling to make rent, so this seemed like a good deal for all of us.

Lots of details here are not important because if I nailed it to the church door like I want to it would take weeks.

For the first year, we were doing really well. All four of us had jobs, even if the pay wasnt stellar. But between the four of us, paying all our expenses was easy and I was even starting to save.

Then. Roommate A lost her job. Its alright. People lose jobs. It happens.

Then. COVID. Which was not alright, and I think that while it's not the root of all our problems it was definitely a contributing factor.

I want to talk about A for a minute. A suffered a lot of emotional abuse from her mother growing up. She goes to therapy for it, she's taking medications, we're to believe that shes working through her problems at some kind of pace. I'm being pretty understanding that recovery ain't a straight line. Plus, we've met her mother and her mom is absolutely a bitch.

She's very jealous that the rest of us have parents that arent narcissists and abusers, but it's not like we dont all have our own host's of problems (whole house is a concoction of adhd, autism, anxiety, depression, and eating disorders).

Every year, A will throw some kind of tantrum. The first time, it was because I said something about how I felt shoved in a corner. Me, my girlfriend, and Roommate B (A's partner) all shared an office together.

A's former remote job required her to have privacy, so it was agreed that she would get an office to herself. But B's job also required privacy, she they got the nook that we were using as our craft room, and we just agreed to be conscious of her privacy during work hours.

This didnt last very long. I couldnt use my computer to play music very loud and my girlfriend couldn't use the space to sew. And I felt, as I said, shoved in a corner.

So I asked in our house chat if we could reconfigure the working scenario because I felt like I wasnt... given proper space to work.

Didnt even mention A, but A went on a tirade about it- wrote up a whole screed about how she was the bad guy and then locked herself in the office (remember, at this time she was not working from there) and didnt talk to us for three days.

We worked out a solution where B works from the closet of their bedroom in a makeshift cubicle, the nook goes to me and Girlfriend, and A gets the office to herself... for some reason. Eventually this turned into their game room.

But it kind of set the tone that at least once a year this 40 year old throws a hissy fit about something and then doesnt apologize.

Again. I'm trying to be understanding of her situation, but there are days where I have to walk on eggshells.

Well... it's that time again.

Rough update of the events preceeding:

I quit my toxic job awhile back and started a new career as a photographer, which requires a lot of equipment. This job does not make a lot of money and theres a few months where I have to find extra work just to make ends meet.

Girlfriend lost her job and has been deeply depressed, and money issues mean that we are privately going through a rough patch during the slow season. My emotion s are... kind of haywire right now and I'm trying to make it work, but it's hard.

B got a promotion, enough that they can afford a starter home, possibly. They're trying, anyways.

A only leaves the house for doctor's appointments and house showings. She hurt her back some years ago and she hasnt been able to find a job.

After failing to find either a house to buy or an apartment to rent, girlfriend and I decided to stay in the current place. A and B are trying (and failing) to find a house of their own because the market is... very tight right now.

A cant contribute to the move monetarily and has anxiety about not being ready to move when the time co.es (even if it takes a whole month to close on a house.) She started packing in February. Its May, now, and no sign of any move to come, but the amount of boxes in our house would make you think they're moving out tomorrow.

So my stuff is crammed in the craft room (because she asked me to move my stuff out of the garage so she could use the garage as an exercise room, which never happened) a d there's boxes everywhere, making it difficult to get to my stuff to organize it. And she wont put her stuff in the garage because 'theres mice in there' even if her solution to my stuff is to put it in the garage. Its frustrating to live in a place where you cant use the furniture because its covered in boxes.

But let me back up a little because today's tantrum has details.

Last October, I accidentally backed into Bs car. Damage was a crack in the bumper, which I didn't think was a big deal, I offered to pay for it, but B went through insurance instead, which meant I almost lost my insurance. But they didnt pay for any of it, and it was a minor inconvenience- and in any case it was between the two of us, no hard feelings.

B asked if, in the future, I could park on the street, because their car is newer than mine and not as sturdy as my older car, to prevent any future mishaps. I decided this was fair.

Now I think we're up to speed.

My car had a coolant leak this past week and the car overheated. I took it to a mechanic to take care of, but it took a few days and they got me a rental so I could still do my job. And today was the last day of me having it.

B was at the office today, so their parking spot in the driveway was empty. My task today was to return the photo equipment to our main office and since the bags are heavy I decided to park in the driveway just so I could get my stuff in.

I realized as it was sitting there that the grill of the car kind of made a funny face, so I snapped a pic of it and shared it on tumblr before driving off.

So because A follows me on tumblr, she saw the pic and had something to say about it:

"Please dont park next to me. You backed into (B's) car and we just got it fixed."

There's like 3 feet clearance between our cars. I was only there for half an hour. In fact, I was away from the house when she put that in the house chat and didnt respond right away. Girlfriend actually came to my defense first.

"there's no call for that. 1) his implies that (tgea) makes a habit of driving recklessly, which is untrue and 2) the rental is in the driveway to make sure IT doesn't get damaged 3) why is (thea) not allowed to uise the #!%^$% driveway"

And B offered to park behind her car, which was not the point, since my car wasnt parked there anymore. The problem is that B always wants to negotiate and see both sides of a problem, but sometimes one side is simply being unreasonable.

And it really is just fucking ridiculous- I pay rent here, I should be able to park in my drive way for 30 minutes without scrutiny.

Girlfriend told her off in person as well, that she was being fucking ridiculous. I dont know what all she said, but A hasnt talked to me since getting back from the mechanic.

Since moving in here, I never really got the sense that this I was welcome. Like... yeah I live here, but this is A's house, not mine. I'm a tool to be used so she doesnt have to pay rent or cook dinner. Like... I've got my own mental issues, you know? I have self worth problems that this is feeding and I feel like I'm a pest that does inconvenient things like make messes and thats why I'm only allowed in our bedroom, our office nook, and the garage. Like that's why she keeps putting my stuff in the garage- I'm like one of the mice.

These tantrums dont happen on their own, usually. What typically happens is shes in a bad mood because she was eavesdropping on a conversation where i said something she didnt like and is looking for a reason to be mad.

And the only thing that I can think of is that this morning I had a conversation with B about how we had a lot of duplicate items in the cupboard and I was trying to plan meals around the things we have excess of, one of which was an ingredient that only she uses, typically. And that food is expensive and we should try to budget a bit more carefully. Which doesnt seem like the kind of thing that someone might get vindictive about, but guilt does weird shit to your brain.

Unless, of course, she was somehow listening in on the conversation I had with Girlfriend about how I need to put my foot down about food expenses and say that I shouldn't be paying for their convenience foods (premade salads, frozen burritos, bolthouse drinks) or her bougie food choices (pepperidge farm bread, Annie's mac n cheese, brown eggs only, cant buy store brand anything) because when I'm working I rarely eat any of the food that comes in the house.

The walls here are thin, sometimes I hear them arguing. But we keep our voices down, and if the comments I made in my own room, which is one of the FEW places I have to myself, made her mad- then she should have said something about that instead of forbidding me from parking three feet away from her precious Kia that she never drives, in my OWN FUCKING DRIVEWAY of my OWN FUCKING HOUSE.

I'm trying not to go crazy here, but shes making it very hard, and I feel like vermin. Vermin that pays half the rent and makes all her food.

Anyway, I feel a little better having talked about it, but after that I dont know what to do because if I bring it up that she was being unreasonable, then she'll find something else to treat me like shit over and we get back to the eggshell cycle.

I want to block her on tumblr so I can even talk about it where my friends are, but if I do that and she figures out that I blocked her it's going to make this house absolute hell.

I'm literally screaming inside.

[six40seven]

The date is September 13th. The time is 3:08 pm

This morning i woke up at 6:35 am and the door was open. I didnt bring it up with Niki, i think she dropped a pile of clothes on my bed. There was a pile of clothes there but I dont remeber if i put it there. I drank my customary cup of chi tea and Niki made me some sort of egg sandwich. I dont think it sat very well with my stomach. Im not going to bring it up though. I dont see her this happy usually. Maybe she’s had some sort of case crack. I dont ask her things about her work anymore.

I forgot my lunch, only remembered half way through the pass when i checked last nights blog. I didnt tell Niki, she was talking about her new favorite TV show. I dont remember what it was, i dont watch a lot of TV, especially with how hard it is to get any signal at home. It’s okay, I want to support her the best that i can.

When i got to school it became the usual waiting game. Latin, Math, History the usual trash heap. And then Academic coaching until lunch, all of which i spent in the library. Helping with yesterday’s shipment of books. Karl wasnt there but i checked in on my hours and i have close to 30 now. Adding on another 3 today to make it a total of 33 hours was nice. Two of the same number. Its nice.

After lunch at 11:23 I went to english. One of the better classes. I think i do well even if the teacher doesnt have enough space in her brain for another quiet student. I am good at english. I dont have anything due in that class. I began to organize. Something that helps me focus. Flipping through my notebook and folder nothing was out of place and so i began to sort my phone tabs.

Curiously, after flipping most closed, I found that my camera was open. I quickly flipped it away from my face. Embarrassing i know. I began to sift through my camera roll. It’s something i do a lot. When i dont have anything better to do which is most days. Besides. This blog was made for me to talk about my photos. So maybe you will be interested in the strange photo i found.

The time stamp was last night, late. 1:00 AM to be exact. The witching hour. So ironic.

I am extremely worried about what this entails. I dont remeber taking this photo. I dont remember leaving my house last night. I wonder if it will be okay for Niki to lock the door more firmly.

It was fine though. English was over and i left, heading back to the library for another free period. I have almost all of my credits, and even though its scary I think i could graduate early. Maybe i could finally leave this town. Anyway i was in the library until school ended. At 2:45. I walked down the street again, taking the same route as the day before and ending at the station again.

Niki told me to wait in the receptionist room because she didnt want me in her office. Im okay with sitting on my phone. I like listening to music and sitting by myself in a loud room of strangers. Anyway, thats the dairy for today. I am free for anything, if any of the few people who are interested in me want to talk.

The time is now 3:14

[dabblingreturns]

The problem with febuary is that everyone is trying to remind themselves that they are alive.....and they do so in ways that make me feel unsafe

No, February in 2021 is not the time for loud unexpected house guests with no set departure date

And February 2023 is not the time to announce you have been enspired by the lack of a working furnace and that we should really set the thermostat 4 degrees colder to make a moral point!

I'm not againt house guests and I'm not againt energy efficiency or even the concept that most people run warmer than i do...but I am against sudden uncomfortable changes where any opposition I put forth is treated as irational..

I dont think I'm the bad guy for having some resistance to large changes in my environment that will effect how I take up space in my own home.

To reiterate:

Giving me a heads up that a friend will sleep on the couch for two nights even during a pandemic ✅️

Having a strange man drink beer in my living room for two days strait with no end in sight when I don't feel safe enough to leave❌️

Saying that you have been having issues sleeping and slept better when the furnace was out and would like to experiment with dropping the temperature a few degrees at night✅️

Announcing that you are going to drop the temperature by 4 degrees all the time because 68 is a decident temperature and 64 is better for the environment and no this isn't about money and telling me I'm a baby for freaking out❌️

Don't put me in situations where I will react badly to sudden chances that feel like targeted punishment in spaces that I pay for then expect me to make 100% rational arguments

Treat me like a human who deserves some control over her own environment. And don't act like previously agreed upon norms can be overturned on a whim

[maxellminidisc]

Silly but the DūnM3sh nonsense around the last episode has me thinking about how like idk mostly white autistic folks (of the vairety who are not in need of higher assistance) online act like ALL autistic folks exhibit the exact same symptoms and behaviors in social settings when like I find mostly other poc and a lot of women regardless of race have very different experiences with the sort of "stereotypical" reaction and behavior that's most often associated with autism. Which leads to a lot of you assuming we are neurotypical and then this line of thinking extends into your reading of autistic characters, be they headcanons or canon characters. Rest of this is going under a read more

Like idk for a poc, theres already very little grace given to us in social situations, especially when around white people. You guys dont realize but we are consistently aware that no matter what, when we enter a space with y'all there will always be an internal bias present in white people that will deem any behavior of confrontation as inherently aggressive or mean.

So we learn to navigate social situations with an already high level of need to analyze so many of the behaviors and cues of the people around us out of complete necessity. Neurodivergency or not, this becomes a matter of survival. And for some people, like me, the need to do this and possibly avoid and save yourself the pain of having people who's racism is a potential harm to you becomes a priority in your brain more than anything else you have going on. You cant completely shut everything else out about your neurodivergency but you learn enough to keep yourself safe. It's what I was forced to learn when I was like 5-13 because I was relentlessly bullied for my race and ethnicity, and later for my incapacity to not understand certain social cues or even break rules until I was about 12/13.

I'm not completely without symptoms and if anything some of them have gotten worse. I struggle now with knowing when to stop talking until I notice people start looking bored or annoyed and I sometimes dont talk enough for fear of being annoying to people I'm close to. Not to mention I'm ALWAYS double checking what I say in a way that's almost like a compulsion. Like constantly, to the point where before I say something with say like factual information, I like quadruple plus plus check everything on Google before I say it (and even then I might get shit wrong and my reaction to that is....oh boy). And even then I sometimes end up not saying anything because I'm too scared I said something wrong and mislead or upset someone. Or worse, this information is unwarranted and annoying.

If anything I'm someone who's neurodivergency made them OVER COMPENSATE the need to pick up on social cues, eye contact, sociability, etc because it was a way to defend myself (by making it harder to pick on me without push back) or keep myself safe.

But at the end of the day the constant need to keep up with ALL of this burnt me out by the time I was in college and it made me incapable of masking very many noticeable things anymore, especially my over sensory and stimming when I'm stressed (which isnt helped by the fact that I have synesthesia), the anxiety it produces, and ultimately that it leads me to having a panic attack and has me in the place I am now where that shame of freaking out in loud spaces gave me agoraphobia. Now my threshold for "neurotypical behavior" is like SIGNIFICANTLY shorter when I leave my house.

And I constantly apologize for sharing information when I do. Like I have it instilled in me now to say sorry for information I share because I think I'm bothering people. And my capacity to understand jokes is flawed if the person I'm talking to isnt someone I'm consistently around because I haven't completely been able to process the way they speak or their sense of humor. I sometimes take jokes that are lies, unreality, or sarcasm as literal and people have to say "oh no I was joking I made that up".

When I first meet people I'm actually told I'm way too quiet and kind of intimidating because I guess people can sense that I'm analyzing them like a lil computer and I look them in the eyes TOO much. Funnily enough one of my close friends in high school didnt like me very much at firsy because she asked me if I liked her after very little time of being introduced and I straight up said no without much thought as to why that would offend her alskdkdmkfkd but after a while of getting to know her more, we got close, and like most people, after a while they say I seem pretty "normal" and "nice".

And this isnt even touching on my emotional responses and my horrible rejection sensitivity. That would make this even longer. But the one thing I'll say is it's made my relationship with my family VERY bumpy, and especially tumultuous when young, and it's something they struggle to understand still A LOT.

And outside of situations where I cant mask anymore from exhaustion, I get why it's sort if unsurprising to me when I've met white autistic folks who mistakenly assume I'm neurotypical because I can just navigate conversations with a sheen of "normalcy" (and lol racism), until we talk and they're like oh shit I get it now (usually white people with ADHD can pick up on my neurodivergency much faster which is funny lol) where as other people of color with adhd/autism dont ever make that assumption, they just get it. They pick up on ME analyzing them and we just look at each other like 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️

[writer-updates]

Sebastian Knight

Chapter 1 - Liliana

I've been living in my siblings shadow all my life, everything I do was never good enough for them. No matter how many times I tried.

As pre-teens my sibligs began becoming obsessed with power and star of the shows, it made my parents proud, while I stood in the shadow being different.

I did perfer being behind the limelight, I didn't like everything being focused on me. It's not like I wasn't confident, I just like my own space.

I was never going to be as pretty as my older sister Savannah, my parents always compared my looks to her and put me on diets to be her figure. To be like her, but no matter how many times I tried to lose weight or be better. Savannah would get better at something else.

My whole family made me feel unloved and unwanted, there were times I wanted to escape, that's were I found my love for painting, though I never told my family as I knew Savannah would steal that from me.

"Good work tonight Liliana," My father said as he looked at me. "See working overtime, isn't so bad."

My father worked at a bar called Knightman, it was owned by Sebastian Knight. His boss came in occasionally to see how things were going.

"Careful," my father scrowled, "You wouldn't have a job if Savannah didn't quit."

Rolling my eyes, I sighed harshly, "Whatever, can I go home now?"

"Yes, go. You need to be here tomorrow at 8 am to open," my father said.

I nodded, leaving the bar. I headed to my car, where I got inside and drove off home. When I arrived, I saw our Neighbour Mrs Jones, a sweet old lady.

"Hello Liliana, you're father made you work overtime again?" Mrs Jones asked.

Nodding my head as I grabbed the house keys from my bag, "Yeah, I'm fine though."

Mrs Jones didn't say anything, although she hated how much I worked. In fact she loves my paintings that she's even brought a few of them.

As the door opened, I made my way inside, seeing clothes scattered all over the floor. Of course Savannah would bring someone home, when didn't she.

Making my way upstairs, I could hear something coming from her room

"Shh! Shh! Someone is home," I heard Savannah whisper.

Since when did she care if someone was home. I began to investigate, as the male clothes looked some what familiar. Moans and groans could be heard from her room.

Finally I reached her door, which was open just a crack. Pushing it open, I wish I hadn't.

Savannah was laying butter naked on her bed, only wearing her heels - her legs wide open, while someone was thrusting inside of her and moaning into her skin.

My breath hitched. "Thomas..."

I was in complete shock seeing what was happening, my boyfriend of 1 year was screwing my sister. Thomas head jerked up at the sound of my voice.

"Oh fuck..." he let out a shudders breath, "Liliana... I..."

I shook my head and stepped back out of my sisters room. "Dont," my voice broke as tears filled my eyes.

"Liliana," he shouted, he ran down the hallway, grabbing my arm and twisted me towards him, "Please... I, I'm so sorry."

"Go away!" I screamed hitting my fist at the wall beside me.

"Please, I can explain.." I cut him off by slapping him across the face.

"Explain what?! That I caught you screwing my sister. I thought you loved me. What can you say, oh I just slipped and my dick fell inside her. Fuck you Thomas. Leave! I said leave." I screamed so loud.

[puppygirldick]

You broke my nose 3 separate times 2 of which were punching me in the face once while I was driving to work and no it wasn't a bottle of honey it was a metal bottle you hit me in the face with, I told you if you dont stop hurting me youre going to get yours and you did immediately after you hit me and after i warned you hundreds of times to stop hitting me. One good time, after you broke my nose so badly I couldn't breathe for 7 months I could barely sleep as if it weren't bad enough that I was sleeping in a car with actual mold

You need to just stop dumping this shit on your wall because you lie constantly and conveniently leave out so much information to make yourself look better to people who don't know aren't and cannot involve themselves in any way anyway and it's not helping anyone

You refused to stop beating me and telling me to kill myself for 4 consecutive years while I gave you the last iota of space in my car while living homelessly, you didn't make getting housing easier when our roommates constantly overhear and mishear me begging you to stop beating me yourself they interpret it as just plain fighting and when you say I'm being abusive for telling you to keep your hands to yourself and stop verbally abusing me all they hear is just loud voices and assume we're both fighting

And I left with everything I had brought down in boxes because It was not safe to be in the same room with him after he kicked me twice and hit me in the face these people literally only messaged me on lex to fuck

getting a place with collie would be an insane decision. like the dude should not have hit her but if she deliberately starts shit, acts intimidating, screams and yells, breaks shit, steals stuff, and provokes people *on purpose* ?? doesn't she hit you all the time? and scream and yell at you?? if she literally can't be around ppl she should be alone and you shouldn't be trapped and miserable with her forever

Moreso in the past year we've really just had bad communication, and like a number of times she's tried to secure housing for herself in some way against me by saying "if anyone deserves to leave, it's her" as I mentioned before. But that usually results in us both leaving for her to talk like that, idk Theresa and crew from last summer kinda took her side but still the 5 of them (Theresa, Ramona, Eliza, Penelope, Cosmo) don't talk to either of us anymore. Bird took my side and told her to leave but we both left, Rachel didn't take sides but we both left because we thought it was expensive and Rachel too nosy into our lives, Blue didn't take sides and kicked us both out.

Like, she gave me a gash with a tea kettle at Bird's back in November or December I had to get stitches for but I threw a tiny plastic bottle at her face and it reminded her of the times I broke her nose throwing an apple and throwing a bottle of honey at her. (Yes I broke her nose like this, yes I've tried to make amends....) Not sure if a related incident or the bottle of honey incident when I was working homelessly at Fred Meyers in 2022 was when this happened but she did a huge swing and crushed part of my nose. We both had to get rhinoplasties last year.

But things on the whole over the past year from May to May have been mostly alright compared to how bad 2022 was for both of us.

Neither of us have broken much of each other's stuff intentionally, she's upset I broke her laptops but all of those have been accidental over the years. I broke her sideview mirrors off every time she pushed me out of the van during an argument for a good long while, and one of us had to duct tape it back up, but I think I haven't done that for over a year.

The thing she focuses on in "stealing" is the phone her mom pays for, which like. I've never understood. I've wondered about running away in the past and I think she's said I don't get to keep the phone if I'm not in her life. And like, keeping service is one thing but taking all my personal photos and data is so unnecessary. But I know she's just trying to manipulate me I guess.

She screamed at me a lot at Rachel's. Which was really confusing and weird.

She's super concerned I have none of her things even as she takes so much of mine. I imagine I'll get my books etc back eventually, it's just like. Wtf. But I wouldn't necessarily call it stealing that she took all the boxes up I hadn't even much unloaded, but like kinda. Kinda

But idk. I do care about her still, she's just scared. But yeah I can't say I totally trust her. Usually me saying that makes her upset, she'll either say "from you", or all the ways I've ever violated her trust, which is what "from you" is shorthand for in her head.

I miss her. Idk

Not sure if I should stay here or not...

[hawkinsuniversity]

𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐠𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐭. 𝟑

series summary : when fionna brings you home one night the gallaghers are unsure of how to react, however, if there is one thing they are sure of, it is how much they each want a turn with you.

series warning : this series is going to contain extremely explicit and smutty content and is quite literally the most shameless thing you may ever read. this series is mainly going to consist of smut and content discussing poly relationships.

pairing : ian gallagher x fem!reader

warnings : mentions of a hangover, swearing, blow job, oral sex (male receiving), basically just a ton of oral smut

9:03 am (y/n’s perspective)

sunlight peered in through the opened blinds that were posititoned across the room from me.

i was laying on a queen sized matress that had been pushed up against one of the walls in a small, dark, quiet room.

the window that lay across from me provided barely enough light to see, but from what i

could tell the matress was the only peice of furniture in the room.

every once in a while i heard a voice or loud noise come from downstairs but for the most part i was laying in complete silence.

i didnt remember much from the day before. just waking up hungover and then having sex with a man in the kitchen downstairs.

so pretty much the same bullshit as usual.

i didnt remember being brought upstairs so i must have been asleep when that happened.

i noticed my hair was freshly washed and body was clean. i was no longer wearing my skimpy black dress, but was now wearing an oversized, grey nirvana t-shirt with a pair of red lace panties.

suddenly the door on the right side of the room swung open.

a redheaded male abruptly entered the room with a tray that carried an assortment of foods.

“hello.” the man said awkwardly.

he walked over to me and placed the tray on the floor beside the matress.

“hi.” i responded quietly.

“whats your name?” he asked

“y/n.” i quickly replied.

“hi y/n. i’m ian.” he kindly introduced. “do you remember much from the past couple days?”

“no.” i told him. “where’s dave?”

“dave? you mean your pimp? he’s gone y/n. he was trying to sell you into sex slavery and prostitution a few night ago. my older sister fiona bought you off of him to prevent that.” ian informed me.

“bought?! what the fuck!” i screamed.

“i know everythings kinda foggy and confusing right now but we are going to get everything sorted out. dont worry.” the redhead reassured.

had dave really sold me? what the fuck!

i needed to find a way out of this house and fast. i had no clue what was going on but i knew i wasn’t gonna sit around and wait to find out.

suddenly the door swung open again and another man walked in. i instantly recognized him as the man from last night.

“hey.” he said to me as he smirked with a smug expression plastered across his face.

“fiona wants to see you downtairs.” he informed ian.

“k. will you sit with her?” ian responded.

“ya of course.” the man replied.

and with that ian left the room leaving me and the other man alone together.

i didn’t remember much about last night but i definitely knew what had happened between us.

“you sleep well?” the man asked me.

“fine.” i said coldly.

“good.. good.. good.” he rambled “so um im lip. look im not sure if you really remember but uh i was the one who brought you upstairs and put you to bed last night.”

“we had sex.” i stated bluntly.

he scratched the back of his head in discomfort.

“yea.. uhh… we did. look, i don’t know how much you remember but i was not in the best head space last night and was really stressed out, so… im sorry if i hurt you in any way or upset you at all.” lip apologized.

“i dont really care. im used to it.” i responded harshly.

“oh right the whole prostitution thing.” lip said. “that uh — that really sucks. im sorry.”

“thanks.” i whispered under my breath so that it was barely audiable.

just then ian entered the room once more and sat down at the foot of the matress i was laying on.

“haven’t eaten yet?” he asked while looking over at lip.

“im not hungry.” i mumbled.

“you should eat.” ian replied.

“ok.” i responded softly.

“well uh… i should be heading to work now.” lip finally chimed in.

“ok, ill stay here with y/n.” ian told him before turning back towards me.

“that ok with you?” he asked.

“yea whatever.” i said.

“ok, well uh if you two are good then i should head out.” lip said as he slowly backed out of the room and closed the door behind him.

me and ian looked back at one another as he gestured towards my food.

“can you gonna eat now?” he asked as i rolled my eyes and reluctantly picked up the tray of food.

2:12pm

“iannnn” i whined from upstairs.

i had eaten my breakfast and then gone downstairs to watch some tv but came back up about an hour ago to take a nap.

“yes y/n?” he called back as he walked up the stairs.

“come hereeee.” i yelled as he walked into the room.

“whats up y/n?” he asked while crossing his arms over his cheast.

“im bored.” i announced while looking up at him with big doe eyes.

“well what do you wanna do?” ian inquired.

“hmm…” i pretended to think “i want attention.” i said assertively.

i had only known ian for a few hours but he had been very nice and constantly was making sure i was comfortable, which i really appreciated considering all of the assholes ive delth with before.

“you have my full attention.” ian responded to me sarcastically.

“no. come here.” i said while crossing my arms over my cheast to mimick him.

ian slowly walked closer to the top of the matress and sat down beside my head.

“what do you need y/n?” he asked while looking down at me.

“just sit here with me.” i replied quietly.

“ok.” ian mumbled while swinging his legs onto the matress and looking down at me.

“hi.” i whispered while making intense eye contact with the red head.

“hi.” he responed while looking contently into my e/c eyes.

i quickly flipped over onto my stomach and rested my chin on ians left thigh.

“i wanna do somethinggg” i whined.

“what is it you wanna do?” he asked while laughing at my childlessnesses.

“i dont know.” i said. “something funnnnn” i giggled while climbing onto ians lap.

ian started laughed hysterically and stroked the back of my hair.

suddenly i felt his entire body stiffin under me and his hands fly to my waist to slightly lift me off of him.

“sorry.” he apologized sincerely. “i cant really control when it happens.”

i looked down to realize why he reacted the way he did. there was a large tent in his grey sweatpants now and he looked around nervously waiting for my response.

“its ok. not your fault.” i said kindly, trying to make him feel better.

slowly ian started lifting me off of his lap more before i stopped him suddenly.

“what?” he asked.

“well… um… do you need me to take care of that for you?” i replied quietly while avoiding eye contact.

“y/n… i’m gay.. i don’t mean to make things awkward but…” he started.

“no! i didn’t mean like did you need me to take care of that in a romantic way or a hooking up way… i meant… in a.. professional way. you know?” i asked trying to get my point across.

“what do you mean?” ian inquired, clearly still confused.

“i mean… its kinda my job.” i said. “i wouldn’t mind… i mean i’ve jerked off way worse guys then you.”

“USED to be your job.” ian corrected me. “and i don’t wanna take advantage of you just cause you used to be a prostitute.”

“you wouldn’t be taking advantage… im fine with it. but if you dont want me too…” i trailed off before slowly taking myself off ians lap.

“wait!” he stopped me.

grabbing my hips and pulling me back down onto his lap he looked into my eyes contently.

“you’d do this for me just this once?” he asked.

“we wouldn’t need to say anything about it ever again.” i reassured.

ian looked me up and down before slowly nodding his head and grabbing my left hand to guide it towards his sweatpants.

i gently touched his erection through his grey sweatpants and started fiddling with the waist band to pull them down.

i took his boner in my hands and leaned down slowly to wrap my lips around the tip.

ian groaned and threw his head back in pleasure.

i swirled my tounge around the tip of his hard member and started to gradually pump his cock with both hands.

“mhmm y/n that feels so good.” ian moaned.

“i told you im a professional.” i giggled before taking more of him in my mouth.

i had half of his dick down my throat while my hands rapidly pumped the other half.

i continued to speed up the movements of my hands while bobbing my head up and down.

ian had my h/c hair in a loose grip behind my head and was running his other hand up and down my back gently.

he continued to moan in pleasure as i put even more of him into my mouth.

my eyes slowly started tearing up and i felt myself gag around him as i shoved the rest of his cock into my mouth.

“good girl” ian praised while i looked up at him.

while making direct eye contact i continued to bob my head back and forth as his moans got louder and louder.

“fuck that feels good.” he groaned.

suddenly i felt ians dick twitch in my mouth and i instantly knew how close he was.

i started to bob my head even faster as tears streamed down my face.

within seconds ian was shooting his load down my throat while i quickly lapped all of the cum that had spilled out of my mouth.

“fuck.” ian muttered as i gently took him out of my mouth.

i stared at him waiting for some sort of further reaction.

“jesus christ that was amazing y/n. come here.” ian said to me while opening his arms and motioning for me to come cuddle up next to him.

i moves back onto his lap and felt his arms wrap around me protectively.

“you wanna do something fun now?” ian asked me with a raised eyebrow.

“that wasn’t fun?” i asked him cockily.

“hahaha no it definitely was. you are definitely a professional.” he responded while laughing.

“well good.” i smirked up at him proudly.

and with that ian stroked my hair once more before kissing the top of my head.

“get some more sleep y/n, ok?” he said while looking down.

“ok.” i whispered back before closing my eyes and falling asleep in his arms.

[noweyesee]

Let’s talk about •••

••• Spirit Work

Pt.1/2

• Spirit Work 101

Spirit Work is a term that was coined very recently, mostly having an upsurge with the new age witchcraft in social medias - that is not to say that the practice of communicating with spirits is new, rather, that such a term can be used in an overgeneralized manner. That in turn leads to misinformation about the topic.

•• So, what is Spirit Work?

Broadly, it is seen as a witchcraft practice where a person uses their abilities to communicate with spirits - people who have passed, guides, ancestors and such. What the term doesn’t clarify is that there are a multitude of ways in doing that, from religious practices to self developed methods as well as the target audience of that spirit work.

Taking a look at the word spirit we find the first divergence of intent: those stated before all fall in the category of deceased human spirits; then we have those who through their animistic or similar beliefs include the spirits of animals and all beings (and “things”) who once lived. Then, we have another category, those that communicate with the otherworldly and nature centred beings that have passed (though most commonly those are still alive), such as the Fae. Others include communication with deities in this practice, and lastly, we have another modality of those that work with the essence of spirits, be they dead or alive - they are included for they too have soul. • This is the first break, and as such themes and different styles of practitioners can already be found, most commonly used are Mediums, Healers, Channelers, Communicators.

Outside of that, we have believers and followers of certain religions that also have this designated space for that type of communication, though I won’t go into detail for this, Norse Paganism, Spiritism and African Traditional and Descending Religions, are some of them.

••• So, no, it is not a bad thing that this practice has been disseminated and made accessible to all practitioners, witches, pagans and heathens out there - but one must always take a step back and analyze the information they have as well as the intent they will follow in this path.

Spirit Work is no game, it can have serious consequences and that should not discourage you to try - rather, encourage you to be attentive and take it seriously.

• What not to do

This here, at least for me (but feel free to add on or disagree, the beauty of the community are the different methods after all) - are some of the absolute don’ts when practicing Spirit Work, divided in two topics as there is a theoretical and a practical side to it.

• Theoretical

Don’t immediately go following any instructions, no matter if they explicitly are for summoning, inviting or channeling or just imply that it’ll make your communication with spirits easier.

Because: You need to be 100% aware of what exactly you are doing, though there are some good sources, it is always good to double and even triple check ingredients, intents and procedures before starting anything.

Don’t begin anything if you don’t have contingency plans and a way to clear a possible mess up.

Because: When doing this type of work, you are the only thing you have control of - spirits can be volatile, especially if you’re starting communication with ones you never had contact with before. Plan ahead and certify yourself that even if something goes out of what was expected you'll be able to deal with it.

• Practical

Don’t call forth anything that you have no idea what and who exactly it is.

Because: There are opportunistic spirits that excel in impersonating. If your intentions are unclear when channeling or inviting someone or something they can and will take the chance. Be clear about who you are working with.

Don’t be rude or insistent towards spirits.

Because: Spirits deserve respect, and as such, you won’t want to anger an immaterial being just because of impatience. Treat them as you would like to be treated. Being firm doesn’t mean being rude.

Don’t keep your sensitivity channel open, if you can.

Because: The Spirit World is everywhere, and it exists alongside our material World. When working with spirits you’ll see that there are moments you need to distance yourself otherwise the input will be constant. Learn how to control and lock your sensitivity as it is being developed to minimize bothersome encounters or overload of inputs.

Don’t do your Spirit Work in any place - reserve a specific place for it.

Because: Not only is this a sign of respect towards the spirits you’ll be communicating with, but it also makes it easier for you to control, cleanse and protect that environment.

•• How to

Preparation and Protection

After that many Dont´s, we finally go towards the Do´s. Let me get this right, I by nature am extremely paranoid, and due to that I find preparation and protection essential to control variables, be confident and to keep calm - like this, I don’t fear the unknown nor the uncontrollable because one way or another I'm ready for it.

Now, once again, these preparatory and protective steps will depend a lot on what method of Spirit Work you’re practicing, but some of them are pretty universal and these are the one’s I’ll be passing on to you.

• To Prepare

A spirit worker's body and spirit must always be clear, attentive and sensible. To prepare you must do whatever rituals pertain to your practice, that prepare you emotionally, psychologically and spiritually to deal and work with spirits.

This might include meditation, trance work, cleansing rituals and so on - this takes off the layer of mundane impressions that could marr your interpretation and leave you like a clean slate through which the Spirit’s voice can be clearly understood.

Your working space should also be clean on any influencing energies, organized and quiet enough (or loud enough depending on your vertent) for you to focus solely on the presence you’ll be working with.

I particularly find that asking for permission and guidance from my guides always makes this preparation process easier, as that is their realm and their ponctuations, advice and warnings are always welcome.

• Being Protected

There are three points of protection: Your Body (which is the conductor of your energy), Your Mind (which contains your Spirit - though not all beliefs follow this) and Your House (or de place you do your Spirit work).

These three should be duly protected and warded as you see fit before you start your spirit work. Methods for those vary as they can be easily found around the internet, in books and such. I wouldn’t be able to tell you which method of protection and warding you’ll prefer, which you’ll absolutely trust to work and which will be ideal to your specific target audience with spirit work but, one advice: Never share all ingredients nor steps of your protection and warding spells.

You may realize that I rarely, if ever, post spells. The answer is simple: any spell can be counteracted, especially if people know everything you used.

And trust me when I say that these protection and warding spells of your for Spirit Working are ones you wouldn’t like to be tampered with.

•••• 👁 ••••

For now that’s it, this post was very broad as I talked about general warnings and things of importance that precede the practice of Spirit Working. It’ll be a short series of posts, with only two.

The second one will be more action centered, most likely bigger with explanations of what to do in each case of spirit working. Till then, yeah?

-Lou

[reidsnose]

love letters

overview: spencer has a wonderful idea after finding out that reader had never gone to her senior prom

genre: fluff fluff fluff

a/n: i mixed two ideas that have been sitting in my notes app for this lol but i think its sweet!! i wrote it a little rushed and definitely not bc im not getting a prom this year due to miss rona👀 LMAO but as always please lmk what yall think ab it :)

masterlist

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the idea had fully occupied his thoughts the second after the words left your mouth.

it was "the buttcrack of dawn" as you had called it, though spirits were high on the late jet ride home. it was a rare but much needed positive end to the case, and everyone was happily chatting with each other. since the case was involving high schoolers, the subject fell on prom. everyone went around sharing their prom stories one by one, recalling awful dresses and questionable dates til the questions turned to spencer.

"what ab you, pretty boy, what was your prom like?" morgan asked, still smiling widely from recalling his own.

you watched spencer shift uncomfortably for a second.

"i uh..i never went to prom." he stammered, a tight lipped smile on his face.

"no! you just dont wanna tell us!" prentiss cried, throwing her hands in the air.

"i graduated high school when i was 12! why would i have gone to prom?" he reasoned.

"you had to have gone when you were older or something! everyone has!" jj countered.

"thats not true, i never went to prom either," you defended, subconsciously inching closer to spencer.

before anyone could even ask you to explain why, spencer got the idea. he mentally left the conversation after you gave your answer. he spent the whole rest of the ride home and the next couple of weeks brain storming and planning.

and casually after work one day, as he was walking you to your car, he asked you if you wanted to hang out with him that weekend; at his house.

you and Spencer had hung out before, but mostly at your house or at coffee shops; he didn't invite people over very often.

of course you agreed but you grew confused when he told you to dress fancy.

you raced home afterwards to raid your closet, looking for any fancy dresses you may have stuffed in there.

spencer spent the whole day preparing his apartment. he put up streamers and balloons. he made a playlist of all your favorite songs. and then he rushed to get his clothes from the cleaners.

and when you knocked at his door the breath that left your lungs struggled to come back after he opened the door.

he stood in a gorgeous suit, different than he had ever worn to work. he rubbed the back of his neck and gestured to the living room, revealing the adorable (albeit poorly made but its the thought that counts) decorations.

"um.. welcome to prom," he said, turning back to you, revealing a blushy smile.

he tried not to stare too much at you, but it was difficult. your eyes sparkled as you stepped inside and looked around. and the dress you were wearing fit you so gorgeously he truly couldnt take his eyes off of you.

"spencer, i..." you trailed off, enchanted by what he had done.

"sorry if it looks bad. or if you think its weird that i did this. i just thought cause neither of us went to prom maybe you wanted to have a little one with me? yeah now that i say it out loud maybe you hate it im sorr-" he rambled behind you.

you turned quickly to him as he got lost in his words, eyes glued to the floor. cutting him off by wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him as tight as you could. you could feel the tension leave his body as he melted into the embrace, returning it gladly. he doesn't like to be touched by anyone really, except for you.

"i love it. thank you," you whispered, giving him one last squeeze before letting go.

he has a spread of snacks lying out on the coffee table which he has mooved to the corner of the room to make space for a makeshift dancefloor.

he turns on the music and you two start talking and dancing and laughing. two fools with four left feet completely and obliviously in love. well, oblivious the the other anyway.

a slower song came on, an old one that you had wanted to slow dance to ever since you were a little girl. and somehow naturally you two came together, his hand dropped to your waist, the other delicately cradling your own. your other hand found its way up to his shoulder, feeling as though a magnet was pulling you two closer. and closer.

he looked absolutely stunning. the soft lights he had strung around the apartment sparkled like stars in his eyes; its was...dizzying, in the most incredible way.

unbeknownst to you, as you stared at the stars in his eyes he was looking at his whole world that he had been somehow lucky enough to hold in his arms.

he held his arm out, allowing you to spin and when he pulled you back both of your arms ended up wrapped around his neck, and his around your waist. you were less dancing now and more...hugging. with your head pressed to his chest, he hoped with all his might that you wouldn't be able to hear his hammering heart. you most definitely could, but it was calming to know he was as nervous as you were. you smiled, listening more to his heart than the music he had played for you.

you were both sure that you could burst from pure bliss. the song ended a little too quickly for either of your liking and reluctantly you let go of each other. and suddenly Spencer was hit with the realization that he forgot something.

"oh my gosh," his eyes widened as he looked around the room.

"what?" you asked, mirroring him and looking as well.

"i can't remember where i left your corsage! i was gonna give it to you at the door but i forgot!" he exclaimed, running around the room checking shelves.

you smiled to yourself. he got you a corsage!

"ill help you look" you decided.

"please do," he chuckled.

"i thought you had an eidetic memory, shouldn't you know where you left it?" you joked, shooting him a smug smile.

"y/n, my brain was all jumbled to day and it wasn't just from being around you," he realized what he had said and quickly turned back to the shelf he was looking at, "could you check in my room please?"

his heart was racing at his own stupidity; how could he just say that so nonchalantly? he had been planning to tell you that he liked you for the longest time he cant afford slipping up and having it be anything less than perfect.

you slipped into his room, your cheeks warm from the idea that you make his big brain all jumbled. he probably didn't mean it like that, you were just looking too much into it.

you sighed as you crouched to look under his bed for it. you found a small wooden box that you slid out from underneath. it had your name on it.

is it normal to keep a corsage in a wooden box? you wouldn't know, you never went to prom.

you shrugged your shoulders, "i found it spence!"

with out thinking you opened the box, except instead of a band of flowers you were greeted with letters, all addressed to you. there were annotations written in the margins with purple ink. you furrowed your eyebrows as you scanned the various letters.

dear y/n,

today you complimented my glasses and my heart skipped a beat. thats dumb spencer dont start like that

dear y/n,

im in love with you. too forward

dear y/n,

you make life worth living. shes gonna think youre a creep

you felt a rush of euphoria fill your chest. did he really feel these things for you? your thoughts swirled in the most wonderful way. a wide smile broke across your face, butterflies running rampage through your stomach as you reread his words. his words addressed to you.

"oh thank God i really thought i lost-oh. oh no." spencer started as he walked through the door of his room immediately walking back out. you followed, blinking your watery eyes at him. "i can explain.

"i think youve explained enough, theres like 20 letters in here!" you chuckled, flipping through them.

"i didnt know how to tell you and i dont want to ruin what we already have and i-"

"it wasnt too forward." you stated, grabbing one of the letters.

"what?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"in this one," you held up the letter, "you wrote dear y/n, im in love with you. and then you crossed it out and wrote that it was too forward but i dont think it was."

"youre not mad?"

"mad? spencer ive been trying to admit the fact that im in love with you since i realized it myself, why would i be mad?"

"youre..you feel the same way?" he looked back up at you, a hesitant smile pulling on the corners of his lips.

"more so," you beamed, stepping closer.

he wrapped his arms around you, "thats good or else the rest of this prom would have sucked."

you chuckled, pulling him impossibly closer to you as another perfect song played.

-

-

ultra mega super cool taglist

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @spenxerslut @violetspoetic @aperrywilliams @b-a-utiful @eevee0722 @srhxpci @reidemandweep @imdefinitelyfloating @random-human-person @gurkiloni @luvspence @calm-and-doctor @ssavanessa22 @singularityjc @sydnee-kom-spacekru @sydneekomspacekru

[ask-hunterxhunter]

Helloo royal Guards as yandere please

But without the presence of Meruem because I find it difficult for them to fall in love with Reader while serving the King.

Mmmh, Neferpitou with a Reader male because my headcanon is that she is a infertile female uhhh I dont know how to explain it but I think that in the ant castes there are infertile females that are workers

Yeah, as far as I know, that's how it is with ants... I'm not an expert, but I think the female workers are infertile and care for the queen. Their development depends on how much food they receive when they're larvae. If there is abundance, some larvae will be "princess ants" (fertile and will leave the colony to start their own once the time is right).

Hmm... The Chimera Ants, however, seem to work quite different. Besides the whole "Ant Giving Birth to an Anthro Lion" and what not, they didn't end up starving once the queen died (which I read happens because there are no more larvae and the ants need them to properly feed) and many of them left to try starting colonies of their own (even some of the males seemed to want that, not just females like Zanzan)...

Perhaps this is more like some species of wasp? I've read that the queen produces a pheromone that keeps the others infertile. Once she dies, they battle for dominance in order to become the next queen. With the Chimera, however, they left for new territories rather than stay and fight...

...

Is there an entomologist in the house?

Neferpitou

The royal guards, regardless of Meruem’s presence, are not exactly easy to deal with even in their normal state (and I don’t think this is simply because they are not humans). Take them to Yandere level and, well, let’s just say it is not a pretty picture…

Pitou is not someone whose interest is easily aroused (she is the kind that “knows several people but regards only a few of them as her actual friends”) and, in a sense, the opposite is also true: It’s not easy to lose such interest, either. With her in Yandere-mode, well, it’s basically impossible. Once you’ve realized what is going, taking the usual measures to try dealing with it (such as moving, contacting the police, so on), don’t waste any time hoping she will “move on” or “change targets” as some stalkers do. It's not in her nature (both due to her personality and instincts).

Not that you would certainly realize what is going on right away. It would depend on her mood and how she decides to deal with her feelings (and she can’t change this decision): She may just go for the straight, extreme actions or keep a convincing facade of normality for a while… Regardless of whether this “normality” is you trying to kill each other or being friends (or she at least living in peace among humans)...

In the “enemies” case, Pitou would not spend days brooding about having fallen for an enemy and trying to get rid of those feelings. She would just shrug the situation off and start to debate whether it’s best to kidnap you right away or try to court you. If she’s working with other Ants for whatever reason or they just happen to be in the area, she would make sure everyone knows you are not to be hurt (and may God have mercy on whoever doesn’t listen). Her attacks would still be convincing from your point of view while being harmless playing in Pitou’s mind. After all, she lets you escape with no injures!

The “convincing facade” is more regarding how deep (and unsettling) her feelings are. In both scenarios, she would confess soon and, being what/how she is, likely act on it. No matter how much you explain you’re not interested or what arguments you use, Pitou would just wave her tail, perhaps ask what you mean exactly in that “innocently curious” tone of hers and… Completely ignore what you just said.

Well, okay, maybe you need to remember she isn’t completely human, so you can’t demand that she behaves like one, right?

Oh, boy, are you making a mistake… Not being human doesn’t mean that Pitou doesn’t understand that there are limits.

She understands.

She just couldn’t care less.

Remember when she probed Pokkles’ brain with him still alive? When Gon and Killua saw her for the first time? This is nothing next to how she can be when she’s obsessed with you.

I mentioned she would act on her feelings, right? Here’s another thing: She is also likely to do so in the manner of an animal trying to attract a particular mate. And because we’re talking Yandere-mode, I don’t mean the “bird dancing” or “penguin offering a pebble”. Not even the “cat giving you a dead prey”…

If you’re friends/she’s living in the human society, there would be some restraint at first, to the point her insistence would seem innocent… Then she would either grow impatient and kidnap you, or things would escalate, giving you hints to the darkness of her feelings until you’re forced to accept that this friend is a threat to you. Maybe after returning home, you find a note in your bed in which Pitou wrote that she loves how soft your bed is, how your home’s security is lacking… And, by the way, that person seems to have a crush on you… Hmm… Should she break their hands or their legs? The playful tone of the note only makes it darker.

Somehow you know she is not kidding.

If you’re enemies, well, she has no reason to restrain herself from the start. Her interactions with you would become far darker even if she miiight not kidnap you right away (for whatever reason) especially since she wouldn’t waste time playing by human rules. Pitou would find a way to make a claim (pinning you down, rubbing herself against you like a cat, and even leaving a love bite/hickey on your neck are very much on the table) or say it loud and clear in battle when there are other humans around. This isn’t just for the other humans, but for you as well: You’re hers, now. There is no room for discussion.

Also, in this scenario, it’s not impossible that Pitou’s “love” started with her deciding to make you her pet. Collar and all.

It should be said that Pitou is a cat in almost every sense, so the tendency to “play with her food” is very much present... Yes, she sees you as a “mate” rather than “prey”, but your attempts to avoid/hide from her consist of an opportunity that is far too good to miss! You change address and, after a few days, start to relax… Only for her to leave a new “present” at your door! It’s both funny and cute how you thought something so simple would keep her away! Awww, you’re so adorable!

Again, it’s true that some of her actions (such as this) have no malice whatsoever behind them, but I repeat, don’t let yourself be fooled: She is very much aware that what she is doing is creepy and wrong and why. I’m repeating this because Pitou can be as charming and cute as a cat… And as devious and sadistic as any human.

While some yanderes give you time (perhaps hoping you’ll eventually come around or because chasing you is so much fun), Pitou is among those who won’t take long before deciding to “take you home”.

Pitou loves having you all to herself and will be very affectionate, especially when it’s just the two of you. Maybe this sounds a little cute on principle? Yeah, trust me, it is not. It’s terrifying! Even when you reject her and she caresses your head saying you’re cute, you can see the insanity in her eyes, mixed with a sick infatuation.

It doesn’t help that, at times, her being “affectionate” involves brushing your hair, cuddling and even bathing together. Not only this invasion of space can already be uncomfortable, something about how Pitou does it makes you feel too much like a pet, especially when she talks about how much she loves you, how lovely you are, and how she is never going to let you go. In this situation, and the way she speaks, those words make you feel cold.

You should have realized by now that there is no reasoning with her and this isn’t because she is not human. Pitou is likely to twist your arguments or make points that would frankly make you think she learned from Illumi or Hisoka (and she only does that because she thinks it’s funny, anyway).

As for Pitou, well, she can’t say she is happy that you’re uncomfortable, but she believes it’s just temporary and you’ll get used to your new life… Hey, humans capture animals all the time to put them in zoos or circus. She isn’t that bad in comparison, now, is she?

She’s easily the kind of yandere that responds to pleas for freedom by caressing your head and saying you’re cute. How could she possibly let you go? You’d run away! Besides, she can keep you well-fed and protected. You say such silly things, love!

That’s not to say Pitou doesn’t have a limit to how much rejection she can take or her patience. And this is a line you don’t want to cross. It’s hard to say if Pitou would get to the point of physical punishment, but this doesn’t mean she wouldn’t make use of other means.

Menthuthyoupi.

It’s not easy to catch the attention of any of the Royal Trio, each for their own reasons. In Youpi’s case, it’s partially because he doesn’t have any human DNA on him, so despite being able to communicate and all, he doesn’t usually pay that much attention to people. It’s almost like he’s an alien (or we are, in his view). Even in a scenario when he is living in peace with humans, he doesn’t have exactly a clear opinion about them. They just exist. Maybe a few of them are okay enough, but that’s it… And in a scenario when he is still fighting them, well, they are the enemy. It’s pretty simple.

Youpi is direct, both in personality and as a Chimera Ant (in that he follows his instincts without hesitation). As such, like Pitou, he wouldn’t avoid his feelings once he comes to understand them. It’s a little strange, yes, but he accepts the fact that he loves you and that’s it. That said, Youpi would be initially confused (especially if you’re an enemy. How on Earth did he develop this sort of feeling for someone he’s supposed to kill?), and he wouldn’t make a move until he is sure of what he is feeling and what he wants.

Sadly, because this isn’t him in a healthy state of mind, this doesn’t mean anything good for you. This isn’t a shy monster-boy finding a human he considers special. This isn’t even “enemies falling in love” or “dark romance”. This is an “already dangerous individual” developing an equally dangerous obsession.

At first, Youpi starts to stalk you (if you’re his enemy/if you’ve never spoken before) or try to find excuses to spend more time with you (if you’re on friendly terms) in this attempt to understand exactly what is going on with himself. During this time, his feelings for you become stronger along with his desire to know everything about you. He’s curious. He’s fascinated. He wants to see you more often. He wants to talk with you… He just wants to be near you…

It’s pretty disturbing because, despite his size, Youpi will find the means to stalk you without anyone realizing it, just like an animal hunting. You may notice a shadow here and now, feel a chill up your spine, but it won’t be enough to make the danger clear enough. If you two are enemies, there are chances you’ll realize that there is something is wrong, as he either avoids fighting you (no issues with anyone else, though) or that he doesn’t seem to be actively trying to hurt you as much as before… Despite this, you’ll never, ever imagine he is in love with you.

Well, disturbing as it may be, it sounds almost as harmless as he can be in this scenario, right?

Not the case. You can’t forget how obsession grows, how it affects a person, and that it gets to the point when merely stalking isn’t enough. There is no such thing as a harmless yandere/stalker. So even if Youpi, at first, is satisfied with merely watching you from afar and making sure you aren’t hurt, it starts to not be enough. He sees you with your friends, smiling at them, hugging them, laughing… And he starts to imagine how it would be to have you doing these things with him, to be the one who makes you smile, to be the one holding you… And he realizes he wants it.

He loves you. He wants you.

And there is no reason to not act on those feelings.

Regardless of the circumstances between you, he seems to take the rejection well (if you manage to control the shock, act calmly and explain your reasons for it). At first, he thinks about your points and may even understand them… Only to find out that he doesn’t care. He can’t forget you. He can’t let go of you… And honestly, he doesn’t really want to. That you don’t feel the same now doesn’t matter. Don’t some couples start not feeling the same for each other, only for those feelings to change later?

In the case of “peaceful existence”, it might be easier to get a glimpse of his instability than with the Neferpitou, but it doesn’t make much of a difference. Even the precautions people normally take in those situations would only work for a certain time… The myth of the animal that “will pursue its prey to the ends of the Earth once it has its scent” is true when it comes down to Youpi (literally even).

Now, while Youpi is less likely to resort to kidnapping (at least right away), he would still find ways to inject himself into your life, so even then, you can’t say you’re free. He may not go straight to threatening your loved ones (and it’s hard to predict if he would follow with it), but there are many other tactics that he could and would use.

And being less likely to kidnap you doesn’t mean he wouldn’t if he didn’t decide it is the better course of action. After all, no matter how strong you prove yourself to be, it doesn’t mean you’re invincible. It doesn’t mean you can’t be hurt. If he keeps you, he can’t make sure you’re safe.

Either way, there is no way to be free of him.

If he kidnapped you, Youpi wouldn’t go so far as to place you in an actual cage or chain you up, but he would find means to make sure you can’t leave.

He is easily the most patient of the trio, including with your rejections and attempts to escape. It doesn’t please him and nothing can convince him to let you go, but at least Youpi doesn’t get angry, condescending, or twist things around. In fact, it gets to the point when you can lose control and try hitting him that he wouldn’t even raise his voice. He would just hold your wrists (carefully) and try to calm you down…

Now, just because he isn’t human, it doesn’t mean Youpi is unable to understand that what he is doing is wrong and why you’re so unhappy. Hey, animals also don’t like to be taken from the place they consider their home like that. He can relate, he can understand. But his obsession is too great for him to let you go and, instead, he hopes that you’ll adapt with time.

Not having human genes and understanding even less about humans than Pitou and Pouf, in his desire to make you comfortable (and make you accept him), Youpi would likely try to learn what he can about humans (probably even asking for Pitou’s help).

For Youpi, your presence alone makes him feel good. While he wouldn’t force you into things that make you uncomfortable or excessively invade your personal space the way Pitou might, there would still be times when Youpi would want to show you some affection. Chances are, he would enjoy holding you close (especially because, next to him, you feel so small and cute) and nuzzling you, which is not only a common expression of affection among animals, but it also gives him an extra opportunity to enjoy your scent.

Youpi might be less cruel than most of yanderes, but this doesn’t mean much. At the end of the day, whether he has kidnapped you or not, the situation is still essentially the same. You’re being hurt either way…

Shaiapouf.

Even in his normal state of mind, for all his apparent calmness and self-control, it’s been showed several times that Pouf can be actually quite intense with his emotions, to the point they cloud his thoughts (and that’s a polite way to say it). Well, multiply that by a thousand and you’ll only scratch the surface of how he becomes as a Yandere.

Even if, by some miracle, this is a scenario where Pouf lives peacefully with humans it doesn’t mean he likes them. It’s more that he “tolerates” and “accepts” their existence as an unpleasant fact and it’s very much unlikely he would have human friends (he would probably find a way to live with comfort and luxury while having as little contact as possible with them). In a sense, you can compare him to some yokais in Inuyasha… He doesn’t go out of his way to antagonize humans (and risk a fight), but he sure as hell doesn’t care for them.

Until you, that is.

Pouf will never be able to say when his feelings for you started to grow and it will take a long time for him to understand them. By the time this happens, well, he is way into “Obsession Land”. Once he can no longer deny what he feels and it hits him that he loves you, his first reaction is… Well, pretty much an emotional tantrum, followed by self-despise and intense fury. How could he ever fall for a human? Disgraceful! Terrible! How could he fall so low? He even tries to hate you for making him feel that way, only to realize he can’t.

This lasts for a while, with him trying to convince himself to bury those feelings, no matter what it takes. If you two are enemies, be prepared: Pouf may consider killing you as the only way to “get rid of this shame”. He soon realizes he can’t bear the idea of you being hurt, let alone by him (well, like this, I mean)… But at least you’re not having to deal with his obsession yet.

Sadly, it doesn’t mean this will last long enough for something to happen before things get out of control. Pouf can’t get you out of his mind, possibly deciding to “observe you” in order to “remind himself” that you’re just a human: Flawed, inferior, and unworthy. This evolves into stalking and has the opposite effect: He becomes more and more infatuated, as well as worried that you might get hurt. You’re so beautiful, so gentle… You should not be fighting! At all! Oh, you’re an angel. No wonder he fell for you! You’re perfect for him!

If this is the “peaceful scenario”, the course of events is still pretty similar, no matter how you’ve met. At first, wanting to get you out of his system, he may be cold whenever you meet and even a little nasty, but it won’t work. He will start to long for more of your presence and if he manages to spend time with you, to consider you only of the few (if not the only) human who is better than the rest of the masses.

Either way, once he accepts that he loves you, you’re screwed.

In the “enemy scenario”, Pouf may try once to convince you to come with him, speaking highly of you and how much he loves you… In his mind, it’s poetry. In reality? The words may be pretty, but the way he says them, the shine in his eyes, the way he insists to hold your hands between his… Well, it’s creepy. Pouf may accept you denying him for a while, but it won’t take long until he seizes the first chance he has to take you. He was just being polite, offering you the chance of doing so by choice (if he does that when you’re gravely injured in a battle, he will use that frequently to point out he saved you and how you need him to keep you safe).

In the “peaceful scenario”, again, it’s not that much a different course of events. Your attempts to make him understand you’re not interested are ignored and there is precious little that anyone can do to keep you safe and, yes, including the Hunter Organization. He would do everything to get you.

In his mind, he is not doing anything wrong. If anything, his actions are almost heroic and proof of his devotion to you.

When you wake up in an unknown location and start to freak out or try to escape, Pouf reacts as if this is just adorable, then going on about how he loves you and wants to keep you safe. And let me tell you, this isn’t a “flowery speech” or like his funny moments in the anime. At this moment you realize you’re in a lot of trouble and that the chances of Pouf ever letting you go are non-existent.

It's not easy to determine exactly how deep his delusion goes; if it’s only about the “perfect life” you two will share or if it includes you. It’s not impossible that Pouf isn’t really in love with you, but rather an idealized version of you. He may also believe that, deep down, you do love him and just need time to realize it.

Pouf is the “adoring” kind of Yandere. He would love to spoil you, care for you, and would want to lavish you with gifts. Perhaps you’d expect him to be the less dangerous of the trio, or at least the most manageable, right? You’re dead wrong. Pouf is actually the worst of them, maybe even on the list of the worst yanderes of all Hunter cast.

His personality also means Pouf doesn’t believe anyone is worthy of your attention and if there is anyone you like (or that he thinks you like), it’s just because they’re manipulative and toxic. It’s his sacred duty to keep you safe from such scum! Perhaps the better term for him, rather than “jealous”, would be “possessive”. As far as he is concerned, you have no need to get in contact with another human ever again.

You thought he hated Komugi? Trust me, that was nothing compared to this.

He would lock you in a room, which you’d only leave while accompanied by him (he can’t have you trying to run off, can he?). Actually… If that happens, you should be glad. This guy isn’t above placing bars along a corner of his chambers (they are certainly large enough), turning that area into your “room” (bed and all). It certainly would appeal to him, especially since it gives him more chance to watch you.

There are stories about how excessive love can be suffocating, the “The Chaser” episode from the “Twilight Zone”… Well, Pouf’s love wouldn’t follow this line. This would be just tiresome. His adoration is frightening, even for a Yandere. The way he’s so sweet to you is mixed with a certain darkness, not letting you forget you’re dealing with an unstable person.

He understands this is a time of adaptation for you and this change of life is a shock, but he wouldn’t be happy if you asked him to let you go every day. In the same sickly-sweet way of always, he will mix subtle (or not so subtle) threats with words of adoration. Maybe he should chain you up… Maybe you’re thinking about that person who (he believes) has a crush on you? Maybe he should make sure you never think of them again…

There is also the fact that Pouf is among the Yanderes who would have almost no respect for your personal space. For all his adoration of you, he can be quite manipulative and controlling: If he wants to hold you in his lap, brush your hair, have you sleeping next to him, dance with you, well… There is little point in fighting. You would have to choose your battles wisely and keep in mind that Pouf isn’t above tying you up if you “start to be difficult”. Some Yanderes are happy enough with having you with them and may have enough patience to “wait for you to love them back”… Well, with Pouf, it depends on his mood.

There would be times when his behavior is all “patient and loving” (more like he just smiles when you try to get away or lash out)… And times when he would basically “demand” that you love him. Not with words, though: You’d learn that there are times when it’s safer for you to act a little more loving towards him (within reason) rather than antagonize him.