#and i do kind of get it like theres a specific element i want to have and want my tattoos to have but like. literally why are you doing tha

[dr-gaytorius]

Just had a questionable yet incredibly funny realization

[fellhellion]

it feels like im reading against the intended tone of the relationship and character but god. if you take dana’s actions purely at face value the kind of person it paints is like. One I have a lot of complicated feelings about. 

[emuhlo]

I have a bit of a weird question. I've been wanting to learn how to draw. I love your style and it looks like I got transported into a new world when I see your drawings. I just wanted to ask how did you find your style? What were your inspirations for drawing? Lastly, what would you recommend for a newbie like me who wants to learn how to start.

not a weird question at all, and thank you for the kind words on my art !!!! :3

my art style, as unfortunate of an answer as it is, has just developed over the past like decade of drawing. i read a lot of comics and they are definitely my main inspirations for art. jamie hewlett is my favorite artist of all time, another one of my favorites is katsuya terada.

but for inspo, my biggest go-to is comics and concept art books! i try to take elements from indie comics or like environmental/background concept art and implement that into my art in a way that fits.

and then for new artists, again, kind of shitty answer but: draw A Lot. theres no improvement when you dont draw, so even if you think its shitty or bad, keep doing it!!! also… Learning the basics is very, very helpful. learning perspective or anatomy doesnt seem like fun, but getting the basic concepts of both of those makes it so much easier to draw whatever you want. i thought i knew what i was doing and then i took classes on both anatomy and perspective and realized i actually didnt know a whole lot (not saying you need to take classes, i was just refusing to learn before)

im sorry if those werent the most helpful, specific, or revolutionary answers! im by no means a professional but i do appreciate the question nonetheless 🥲 and i hope that the advice aids you in some way on your art journey !!!

[blububblgum]

Daenerys as a D&D character!!

I love dnd to bits, and I spent a lot of time thinking about how certain asoiaf characters would be if they were made using dnd 5e rules. Obviously, i had to start with dany! She is a shadow magic sorcerer, with the elemental adept feat.

My long, winding thought process about dnd and dany is under the cut, in order to spare you all.

I'm kind of working with like, westeros in the forgotten realms as my base concept, since theres elements of both that are needed for this character build to make sense lol.

Sorcerer made the most sense, with how the targaryans are thought to have ancient magic, and since dany is quite charismatic, charisma would be her spellcasting stat. I think that the obvious sorcerer subclass is draconic bloodline, but i disagree, since the way dragons are portrayed in asoiaf doesn't match up with the dnd description of dragons. I could maybe see draconic bloodline sorcery for the Fire and blood characters, but for the "modern" targs, i'd honestly lean toward fire genasi (descendants from genies, with specific elemental powers) ancestry, since the immunity to fire is emphasized. Though technically dnd doesn't really work like that, i think as a character dany would be a fire genasi (though without the usual visual traits, i suppose)

since i elected against draconic bloodline, the sorcerer subclass that makes sense for daenerys is shadow magic! its maybe a bit on the creepy/edgy side, but i think aspects work well for dany's life. for starters, if you think of her gaining magic during her life, the deal she made to try and save khal drogo's life would be perfect timing for darker magic to make its home within her. however if you wanted her to have magic from birth, then the dramatic circumstances around her birth could be heightened by there having been shadowfell influences around. also!! at 6th level, shadow sorcerers can summon a "hound of ill omen" which can take any shape, and could easily be a small dragon.

The last aspect of why i chose sorcerer, is that while the spell casting sucks at lower levels, it then really gets good as you gain spell slots (limited per day and necessary to cast any spells) and sorcery points. the spell list for sorcerer is full of damage dealing spells, and dany kinda reads as a glass canon to me (i love sorcerers a lot but they are fragile). I did briefly ponder divination wizard, since daenerys seems to have an inclination toward being a dreamer, but i don't think she had time to study and practice wizardry in her chaotic childhood. whereas we see as she gains power and confidence while growing up, and sorcerer works well with that

last few details! i've portrayed her as higher level here, which is why she is so fancy. since she is upper level (in this i was thinking around 14th), she would have access to feats, and i definitely think fire elemental adept (gives bonuses to spells that do fire damage) would bring back some of the draconic aspects to her spellcasting. for metamagic options, obviously twinned spell (allows a spell that targets 1 person to be twinned to hit two people) cause its the best one, but i was also thinking subtle spell (allows a spell to be cast without speaking or moving) since it would be quite helpful for her. For other potential feats; inspiring leader (bonuses when you give speeches n stuff) and war caster (allows magic to be used better during combat) both make sense. For her stats, i was thinking in order of highest to lowest; charisma, wisdom, intelligence, constitution, dexterity, strength. Maybe i'm doing her a disservice by having her physical stats be her low ones, but i think her mental stats are just stronger.

Anyways if you actually read all this i love you and please message me any opinions you have about dnd/asoiaf

[lilietsblog]

suddenly randomly thinking about Max Frei's Labyrinth of Echo (finally a Russian fantasy book actually translated into English!!! rejoice!!!) and tbh every isekai author should be legally required to read it for like. Educational purposes. so they have a bit more imagination about it

it IS in fact an isekai, or portal fantasy perhaps fits better. its so weird and good?

the protagonist: a guy. yes, i know, it's sad. but he's sad and cute and it's honestly just good. relatable without being an everyman. the sort of guy who would be a tragic poet except he's very self conscious about this part of his personality and prefers to be funny instead. hes very good at being funny. his narrative voice is fantastic i promise you will like it

the method: our protagonist had been having the same vivid and memorable dream for years where he meets with another guy in a very odd looking but very comfortable cafe and has drinks with him and it's very soothing. one day the dream guy makes him a job offer, and gives him extremely specific concerningly-kidnapped-by-fae-like instructions to follow when hes awake. when the protagonist wakes up hes got little enough going on in his life that he decides hes got pretty much nothing to lose by trying to follow the instructions. to his bafflement, it works. hes now in another world where hes got a job offer and a boss who summoned him from another world and is very self-satisfied about it. dont ask why he wanted an employee from another world (actually, do ask. very much do ask. its important and hes not telling you the full truth at all)

the genre: magic detective mystery. not always murder mystery mind you, theres plenty of fun magic stuff that can be concerning and require investigation without anyone being dead. mostly murder, but really not always. and yeah the protagonist is a magic cop but its like. its like a treatise on what police should be like in an ideal world where its actually good. and you really do need some people to do the job of extremely capable mages capable of untangling whatever bullshit people accidentally or deliberately wrought on themselves and/or people around them (they also have non-magic police. those are worse, though still not to irl degree, because this magic world has some wish fulfillment ass laws. not quite fully automated gay luxury communism but they're getting there)

the magic system: the mc learns two, but is made aware that a significantly larger amount exists. basically every country in his new world has its own chosen special magic system. also theres 'true' magic thats the kind of thing that can summon you from another world and is the coolest. not geographically locked. our world meanwhile is a magic dystopia and no-one here realizes it except for people who do, mostly subconsciously, but they can do jack-all about it so thats how depression happens so much. the local magic system the mc learns actually has clearly defined 'levels' ('steps') and divides neatly into two kinds, 'black' and 'white' - except instead of any good/bad connotations 'black' deals with material objects and 'white' with abstract concepts. the neatly divided thing is to the point where they have pocket sensors that tell you what step-and-color spells have been cast around here (v helpful for magic cops, except of course when the magic system involved is not the local one. well at least they tell you that fact then). theres no litrpg elements though, and what step magic the mc can cast is not really treated as important. its just a worldbuilding element

the woke: eh. goes with the weird russian-specific-i-think trope "specifically elves are bisexual/gay but they intermix with humans and thats why some humans are too". ableism... bad. very bad. the whole thing is founded on a deep understanding of particular kinds of being non-neurotypical but very, uh... ignorant that that's what it is. soo bad. fatphobia: very rarely comes up i think, but, uh, also. sexism... sincere well-intentioned attempt to worldbuild a society without it but i wouldnt say it worked. fun attempt though. queerphobia: actually a pretty damn successful attempt to worldbuild a society without it (a society that the mc is very much not from and periodically smacks into this, which is always fun), though i feel it could do with more non-cis-or-straight main cast. my favorite part is the part where the protagonist is told to crossdress for infiltration anonymity one time and is weird about it in a classic transmisogynistic sort of way and everyone around him is like ??? @ the entire thing like what? whats funny we dont get it. whats embarrassing. why are you being so weird about it. what IS the problem. and then he asks himself the question and realizes there's no reason and proceeds to not be weird about it henceforth. uses the disguise as an opportunity to bond with his love interest that he had just had magic drama with, and she loves the idea and approves fully. girl-boy interactions are awkward but hell yeah they can have a girls' night. also as an opportunity to prank his flirty coworker who is about 15 minutes into lying his ass off to this cute girl who is totally into him before the protagonist finally can't take it anymore and breaks down laughing. the coworker finds this also hilarious once he figures it out and it becomes a good prank memory between them

the power fantasy: yes. the mc is mega super special. hes not the first person to ever be so mega super special and theres even specialized predators that go after people like him (his boss is like, halfway there) so the power fantasy is well tempered by challenges. also the genre is inherently investigative so the mc being super powerful is not always particularly. relevant. to the challenge at hand. like its nice that when he figures out who the culprit is he can win the fight no problem but the main conflict is usually figuring out what even happened so yeah. good. also the dose of existential horror this book loves to pair the power fantasy shit with is a great balancer too

the humor: this is the first book in my life that actually made me laugh out loud, to tears. like i am not usually very expressive when Experiencing Stories, i never cry over books or shit like that, and i had never made an out loud noise over a book since i'd learned how to read not-out-loud. until that book. those books. they are hilarious. they are ridiculous. it goes super well with the existential horror

the language shit: this is the fun one and the one that spurred me writing this post! so the backstory is that the mc was talking to his future boss in his dreams right so they already somehow spoke the same language. and this doesnt become a problem when the guy comes over either. he understands the words, be they a different language or the same one (this is never really addressed in detail, which given the fae vibe i'm honestly fine with). HOWEVER the new culture has ALL ITS OWN IDIOMS. sooo many of them. the irl author is bilingual and has lived in another country before writing this and you can tell. the mc picks up local idioms more and more over time but early on it often happens that he says some idiom of his own and his friends and coworkers instantly turn into a descending horde of gremlins like "OOOH WHAT DOES THAT MEAN" and after he does his best to explain they just. start using it. mixed with their own idioms. colored by their own understanding. questionably correctly. they eat that shit up. at one point the guy brings over his movie collection and a dvd player to watch it on (it works in another world because magic, it makes sense in context) and thus introduces his coworkers to Another World's Pop Culture which they react to the way you would to being introduced to another world's pop culture. he regrets it immensely forever after

the romance: alas, the mc is tragically straight (and is incapable of being normal about learning other people aren't, at least until he's given 15 minutes to sit with the fact it's perfectly normal in this new world. its actually really satisfying to read tbh). his turbulent love life however introduces us to two absolutely IMMACULATE girls (and they meet each other through him and instantly become besties btw) who have their own shit going on. theres never drama in the sense of romantic triangle or jealousy but theres the FUN drama along the lines of "magic rules say we cant see each other but we're still coworkers so lets figure out how to painfully and caringly be friends" and "i can't survive here. i have to leave. i love you but i cannot be where you are right now" and "sooo i panicked and now im basically dead so no we're no longer dating but i still exist in this other place so come see me sometime actually". just. fucking ace. (technically theres a love triangle for approximately five minutes between the mc and his flirty coworker both flirting with this girl but she was never actually into the flirty coworker and he knows it so when she actually is into the mc hes like ok fine fair enough). the series DOES HAVE OTHER FEMALE CHARACTERS BTW. and they are awesome. not on a 1-to-1 basis with male characters alas but they are soo good

the vibes: immaculate. lovely romantic urban mystery. sometimes the ghost eats local children but sometimes the city just has a different street layout at night and some locations are only accessible at that time and that's just normal. sometimes the culprit is a restaurant owner who figured out how to make people into super extra delicious food with magic and sometimes the culprit is a group of idiot teenagers who found a description of a ritual in an ancient book and decided it would be a great idea to try it, and sometimes the culprit is an ancient dying beast from the depths of the ocean that accidentally got stuck on a ship's prow and brought to foreign shores where people don't know how to be careful of it. just. incredible

does he get to come back home: yes! at least twice that I can remember! both are horror. the conflict is that he desperately needs to get away from there if he is to survive. not in a 'magic soul sucking will actually die' sense but in a 'depression is a deadly disease' sense. it's really cool tbh

the bad parts that maybe need a trigger warning: i mean, the existential horror gets pretty bad and i cant reread some of the books, though that's not what i want to note most. the BAD shit: ableism. fatphobia. the sideways kinds of racism like exoticization, 'savages', white savior bullshit. the 'main' culture the mc lands in are the white people of the setting and everyone else. uh. uhhhhh. varies. the author put all their pussy into fun imagination lands but they do not know a lot about non-european cultures around the world and it reeeeally shows

[pixiecaps]

hm okay so these are all federation owned islands. the purgatory one USED to be something known as an egg island. however it has clearly changed. this explains why the federation cucurucho cinematic referred to it as a chill place that would be heaven and paradise.

the watcher refers to them being sent there as “they were so kind to send you this way.” clearly the they is the federation. which insinuates the federation/cucurucho had some established conversation with whoever runs this island to send them here. or at least that the watcher somehow KNEW they were being sent here. but here’s the one important thing the federation knew what they were doing to the islanders because elq knew. he was aware of where he was going when he took qq’s ticket, he knew. so the federation very purposefully sent them to this godawful place while they do “maintenance” to the dark matter.

i also am taking note of the religious imagery. cucurucho calling this new island heaven and then the watcher calling them sinners and saying egg island was to be a cute place that they would have loved and specifically “People LIKE YOU do not deserve a pleasant little break from the stresses of your previous island island. so I’VE taken the liberty of changing this place.” so outright stating it knew they were coming relocated AND THEN purposefully changed the calm nature of what this island was into a hellscape as a form of punishment for the islanders because it HATES them. for whatever reason it seems to have it feels like a very passionate form of hate. it called them VERMIN. it fully leads me to believe the watcher knows a lot of information about the islanders and their pasts. or has been fed some information to believe they deserve this cruelty.

the direct contrast of this island compared to their own really strikes me as interesting because obviously they’re imprisoned on quesadilla island but purgatory truly is PURGATORY. in the lore they’ve never had to worry about dehydration, food rotting, etc. all aspects of their lives that they took blissfully for granted. almost as if the federation WANTED them to realize how good they have it. or seem to have it compared to purgatory. and as a reminder purgatory is a place to cleanse your sins so in a way the federation sending the islanders there is a way for them to get them reformed. show them true punishment for all the rule breaking. and get them to a mental state where they’re more likely to obey when they return. to be happy.

this part of what the watcher said was interesting, “i’m sure you’re already hungering and dehydrating. good. whatever makes it harder for you to live.” so again literally stating the whole point of the trials and tribulations is to make them suffer MORE.

the element of a cursed team is the most interesting because that does directly impact the attempt of working together. someone has to lose. someone will lose. “What team is that? Can you figure that out? No.” this felt interesting to me because with the whole thought of a cursed team it seems like you could figure it out easily. i’d say the majority of the audience already has their guesses. but i was thinking about taking this sentence very LITERALLY. they can’t figure it out. because it’s not decided yet. it’ll be decided at the end. perhaps. maybe. who fucking knows. but obviously the threat of all their lives and the eggs is an interesting aspect because that means if theres one cursed team the other two won’t have that punishment if they lose. whichever of the three teams wins gets a “big prize” but the main focus is on this supposed cursed team. because if THEY lose then the eggs are all dead. the probability is very interesting to me. i really wonder why that team cursed specifically and how its chosen.

anyways that was interesting

[majorasnightmare]

lorewise, dirges parents fled menzoberranzan to the surface to escape being assassinated (potentially for their relationship, undecided). both their scars are from the escape attempt.

they eventually end up settling in baldurs gate (two bedroom cottage. relative squalor. poor part of the city). given baldurs gate having a track record of not being the greatest towards both refugees and drow, life post-underdark wasnt kind to them. id imagine that they always wanted kids but never had the time, as both of them had to rapidly adjust to a new culture and quickly build up the labor skills needed to survive without the support of a noble House and without any money or anything to sell, so those first couple of years mustve been ROUGH. i think that like, after they settle into a kind of rhythm with work and getting stable, they have a kind of aimless lull period where theyre wondering why theyre doing this, what theyre working towards, etc, thats resolved by finding dirge

in a lot of ways, dirges appearance is kind of like a dark miracle. hes a tiefling child, spattered with blood, wandering the alleyways in the middle of the night. no one besides specifically a poor drow couple is likely to both be in that area AND be willing to adopt a child. the circumstances lead them to draw their own conclusions (hes specifically a tiefling and theyre both experienced enough with racialized prejudice to Come To Some Conclusions regarding why a walking-aged tiefling toddler might be alone in the Bad Part of Town). dirge answers the question of what theyre going to do, or why, because now theres someone here who needs them. if it wasnt them, it definitely wouldve been one of the more unsavory elements in baldurs gate, but because theyre drow, with darkvision, who prefers the nighttime becuse of the light sensitivity, who happen to live in this area because they fled their home, theyre in the right place at the right time and find someone else who probably ALSO just lost everything they had known, and now is lost in a world theyve just recently figured out how to navigate

it goes in reverse too, because despite being a bhaalspawn, dirge LOOKS like a tiefling, and tieflings arent well understood, and frequently demonized besides. the 5e PHB makes mention that tieflings will occasionaly be beset by dark aggressive urges, but even if we understand that as just superstitious prejudice, it still goes a good ways for justifying the oddities dirge experiences as a bhaalspawn. and the only people really capable of meeting that middle ground of being understanding enough to handle dirges quirks with compassion while being just out of the loop enough to be put off by all the myriad ways hes Not A Tiefling, would be this specific couple of lolth sworn drow.

if hes drawn to violence, well thats probably a tiefling thing. and violence itself isnt bad, it just needs to be channeled. a lot of the techniques for child rearing in menzoberranzan are unironically helpful for dealing with a growing bhaalspawn with awakening violent impulses, and a lifetime of dodging poisons and assassins and being permanently on guard just happens to be well suited to fending off the advances of a clumsily run deathcult looking to elevate their newborn scion into a position of dark worship to usher in the end of days

if bhaal ever wanted dirge to do anything for the cult, the only real option was to have his first Dark Urge be to kill both of them before they had time to raise their guards and plan around the situation, because otherwise it wouldve been an uphill battle to get dirge away from them (and one bhaal wasnt likely to win)

[dreamsy990]

so it all comes to this.

to say i was excited to play 3 would be wrong. actually i was sort of dreading the game. i went in with expectations for the worst and was pleasantly surprised. which is not to say that its good. but its certainly a game! that i played! and now you get my thoughts. unfortunately a lot of my thoughts about the end of the game are kind of hard to separate so. if youre wondering where my thoughts on endgame stuff is. its at the end.

(also i havent played remind so theres no remind thoughts here. its all just base game kh3)

combat (with some other gameplay notes)

so. im not a big fan of the combat. to preface, i played the rest of the series on standard, but with kh3 i was told it was easy so i did proud! and yet it was still the easiest kh game.

kh3 is the first game in the series where i feel as though 'mash x to win' is a valid criticism <- thats not entirely true at the start, but later in the game it does feel a lot like that. almost every fight is mindless because of how easy it is. you can see it in the enemy health bars, theyre absurdly large because of how easy it is to take them down. they need to have that high of health so the fight isnt over in under a minute.

i dont think the base combat is bad. unsatisfying, maybe. But not bad. except for attraction commands.

attraction commands feel like part of a pattern in kh3, where they try to recreate what made the other games so good without understanding WHY it was good. what theyre recreating ofc being reaction commands. technically its the same as some reaction commands, sure, being a giant dramatic attack, but it doesnt work because theres no situational awareness in them.

attraction commands dont feel cool because theres nothing in them that requires use of your surroundings or that is tailored to the enemies youre fighting, since theres only a couple that can be used at any time. there's nothing strategic about using them either- reaction commands normally would give you a specific advantage, or could be used to avoid attacks, only sometimes dealing damage on their own. in kh3, all attractions do is deal damage. they are impersonal and often obtrusive- if youre like me and hate attractions, youll still often accidentally use one, since theres no way to disable them.

this is more abstract than anything, but something about attacking feels unsatisfying. the combat feels like it lacks any real sense of impact or weight to me. but thats all personal and not exactly good criticism so. i digress

also the bosses in 3 suck. you know its bad when the most memorable boss fight in your game is the tutorial. most of the boss fights in this game are so unmemorable that ive literally forgotten them. except of course demon tide. i despise demon tide. it was fine in 0.2 but not here. every time you fight it feels like a missed opportunity for something cooler.

i think flowmotion is worse now. i get that it was a bit too overpowered, but with how much it was limited i ended up hardly using it. i didnt like flowmotion because of the attacks, i liked it because of the movement. so to me, it ended up being a reminder of how kh3 failed instead of a fun feature.

also i know a lot of people like being able to switch keyblades in fights, but honestly i feel like it removes an element of strategy the other games had

the ui (and other visual things)

this isnt something i talked about in my other reviews. but in kh3 i must bring it up. if you follow me you may know my hatred for kh3s ui. so im going to talk about it again! this is the abridged version though. heres my whole rant if you want my full thoughts on it. but the short version is that i dont like it. i am someone with terrible vision and i can play every single kh game without glasses because the ui is just big enough that i can read it. most of the time i can read subtitles too. but in 3? i struggle even WITH glasses to read anything. the ui is too small to make out anything almost all the time. its really only by muscle memory that im able to play. my glasses broke while i was playing, and i literally couldnt play until i got new ones because i couldnt make out a single word on screen. its bad design.

im also upset that there ui art has been replaced with renders. its just a shame honestly. i loved the art in the older games. the renders feel bland in comparison.

and thats generally my take on the look of modern kh. sure its pretty, but its bland. kh has always had a certain cartoonish vibe to it thats starting to die out, and i think the shift to unreal engine was the first marker of that change. i like the look of old kh. its not too technically impressive but its incredibly charming. kh3 is anything but. the characters feel far less expressive, the worlds are realistically rendered, it feels unfitting for a series like kh. its hard for me to find kh3 as charming as the other games. the only word i can think of to really describe it is corporate.

i dont know if this is a rare take, but i think technically impressive visuals are far worse than distinct ones. kh used to have a unique look! now it just looks like every other semi-realistically rendered rpg.

story (featuring: more gameplay notes)

my problem with kh3's story was unavoidable really. dream drop distance set this game up for failure and so im not going to complain about dream drop distance. ANOTHER TIME ill talk about dream drop distance. i dont have time to make a post that long. i do have a lot of problems with the story that werent a result of ddd being terrible so i guess ill just bring up those.

one of my biggest issues with the game is how unimportant the roxas plot is. youre led to believe the game will revolve around it but then sora does nothing to further it. at all. at the start he CONSIDERS doing something, and then hes told by ienzo "no its fine ive got it. go do something else" and its barely ever mentioned again until the end.

this relates to my overarching problem with the plot: it feels aimless. in every kh game theres a REASON theyre going on a journey. soras looking for his friends, roxas is working a 9 to 5, the wayfinders are all following each other, etc. but in kh3 sora is looking for "the power of waking". what is the power of waking? i literally have no clue. thats how poorly defined it is. its an abstract goal, its not tangible or even really achievable. its just a macguffin. when the plot suddenly decides to happen at the end the whole journey feels pointless. you could skip every disney world past twilight town and you would probably be fine. it's not a journey, you're not exploring for a purpose, you're just killing time until other people handle the plot.

i also really hate the new organization (i refuse to call them the real organization. theyll never be the org). theyre painfully boring and poorly put together. the old org had structure, they had very specific goals, every member had a purpose. you knew how they worked and why they did what they did. the new org is just completely lacking in that. calling it an 'organization' is stupid because there's nothing organized about it. and even disregarding all that, the new organization also lacks any real personality. the members feel so boring, which sucks, because almost all of them are returning characters who used to be really fun. and why are most of them even there? no one except maybe xigbar seems to actually care about their mission. the old organization had a common goal and a reason everyone was there. they were nobodies, they wanted their hearts back. there's no reason for any of the new members to stick with xehanort. and if you say "well they were norted!" i then must ask. what exactly is norting? like really. it hasnt been possession since birth by sleep. norting is whatever nomura needs it to be in the moment. its not clearly defined, its just another macguffin.

also because i dont know where to put it, the battle of 10,000 heartless is just a terrible successor to the original fight. there's no stakes, no buildup, no friends fighting by your side, no reason to care. they just throw thousands of heartless with no ai at you. literally no ai, if you stand still they wont attack you. its a drag if anything, an homage to a better game done absolutely no justice.

back to what i was saying about the roxas plot, roxas' return is just such a nothing scene. theres nothing about it thats cathartic, his lines are impersonal and bland, theres nothing 'roxas' about it. roxas' defining feature has always been how emotional he is, and there's none of that here. its nothing. and then he does nothing afterwords. he has seven whole lines in this entire game, six of them are in this scene, and the last one is an inconsequential jab at sora at the very end. and then he fades into the background.

the writing in this game in general is actually weirdly worse than normal. it feels a lot less, idk, human? the older games were weird and absurdly cheesy but this is just. strange. look at the scenes with riku and mickey in the realm of darkness and youll see what i mean.

WHILE IM ON THAT SUBJECT. RIKUS KEYBLADE BREAKING IS BULLSHIT. remind me to rant about that another time though im not gonna go on a tangent about that here

also i would give my thoughts on the ending but i literally couldnt care less about xehanort. so i dont really have any! the final boss was alright though

i have more specific thoughts, but generally, the game feels aimless and underwhelming.

positives

i love axel and kairi! theyre a fun duo and ill never shut up about their parallels so seeing them together is nice. i wish they did anything but thats BESIDES the point im being POSITIVE here

also. the music is great. i love the music sm. its nowhere near my favorite kh soundtrack, it feels a lot more grand which isnt my thing but its still some of yoko shimomuras best work. also hearts as one. its the PERFECT conclusion to roxas' theme and arc. the progression of it from melancholic (roxas) to desperate (the other promise) to triumphant (hearts as one) is just so good. i wish the rest of this scene was as good as the music so i could compliment it more wholeheartedly yknow?

its actually funny also! kh isnt the funniest series, most of the time when it IS funny its completely on accident. but kh3 is like days in the way that it just. actually has funny writing. the jokes intended DO land and its just a breath of fresh air.

oh also riku being well adjusted is the funniest possible conclusion to his character arc. 10/10 im so happy hes normal. never give that boy an emo arc again nomura

conclusion

over all, kh3 is exactly like how my teachers described me in elementary school: it has a lot of potential, but doesnt apply itself. this couldve been a decent game but it simply doesnt do most things very well. i give it a 5.2 / 10. its not an actively bad game but its a game i have trouble enjoying. sidenote im retconning my opinion on bbs to say its 4.7 / 10 because a: my opinions have changed and b: i think 3 is better but i dont want to give it a very high score.

[cleromancy]

Something has been bugging me recently. Do you ever notice how people (particularly Jason stans) go on about how Tim victim blame's Jason for his own death, but fail to mention how Alfred and Bruce are guilty of doing the same thing in the past? Why do these two (especially Alfred) get a pass?

LMAO LIKE... EVERYONES DONE IT. BRUCE ALFRED DICK BABS *SELINA* OF ALL PEOPLE ONE TIME... actually id have to double check that one idr exactly what she said about jason it might have just been that hes unhinged (<- also a thing everyones said at some point) but like. everyones freakin done it. or at least *implied* it.

tim is a special case for a reason though--and ill come back to bruce and alfred later--and its not just bc fandom wants a scapegoat to pin All The Victim-Blaming on. on a meta level tim was specifically created to be jasons opposite, and to ~rehabilitate the robin role and make robin palatable again to modern readers. (and to be clear this wasnt bc readers didn't like jason specifically--it was the idea of robin at all, and to a lesser extent just replacing the orig. jason just took on the mantle at a really unfortunate period in comics culture.) so the comparisons to jason are baked in right off the bat. and tim has to be "better". tim had to prove that a robin was necessary so that dc could keep having one, he had to justify it so that the blame didnt fall on bruce for getting a child killed (or yk even just out there fighting crime at all). theres also an element of class dynamics thats. i mean. jason was a homeless street kid and tims this fancy little distinctly upper middle class kid who replaces him, without derailing to get too deep into that the optics already arent fucking great.

but tims creation aside, just as far as how often it comes up... tim also takes the role of robin really seriously, and its everything to him, so he spends a lot of time thinking about it, what it means to wear the uniform & fulfil the role. so hes the one whos most frequently in the position to be thinking about jason, after bruce. so tim winds up being the one pushing the bulk of the bad/angry/impulsive robin narrative retcon dc wanted to push bc... its the most directly relevant to him. bruce doesnt have much narrative need to think about jason "failing" or not being good enough until under the red hood... except to be like "i dont have to worry about tim bc hes not like jason." lmao. and then you have tim who does not want to get killed, like jason did, so he spends time thinking about how to not end up like jason. which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how being a victim of murder works but i think understandable thing for a child replacement of another dead child to latch onto (particularly one as prone to arrogance & god-complex-itude as Our Timmy, lol). and both on a meta level and in-universe this is about shifting the blame off of bruce and onto the victim because tim needs to keep filling the role hes filling without it being bruces fault that jason died in the first place, bc reckoning with batman and child endangerment is not smth the comics had ever really planned on doing in a serious way.

but as for why singling tim out over bruce and alfred-- the kind of ppl who do this already generally think bruce sucks past the point of being interested in ~holding him accountable~ for absolutely anything... like "bruce sucks, everyone knows he sucks, enough said." i think the logic is generally like "if tims not a total shithead like bruce, then why is he doing shithead stuff like bruce does :/" and then pinning it all on tim as opposed to considering like "hey uhhh do you think maybe hearing stories about jason from bruce influences how tim thinks of jason over the years." if that makes sense

as for alfred. people do not want alfred to have any interiority or to ever have been mean or wrong bc then theyd have to actually think about the fact that bruce has a 24/7 domestic servant in his employ, which is just the. tip of the iceberg when you start thinking about alfred as a full character and not a convenient cardboard cutout to prop up whoever the narrative needs him to. also alfreds role in almost every batman narrative is strictly as support, almost no agency within the story to have a meaningful impact, and people generally respond to the character in kind.

finally i think tim mmmmight be the only character at least as of the reboot who ever talked *to jason* outloud style about certain things relating to jasons death... this answer is already getting too long so i dont want to get into depth about titans tower. but tt 2003 #29 is a great example of the comics pitting tim and jason against each other to make Jason look worse by comparison--for all that tim doesn't actually *say* anything victim blaming jason for his death, *and* for all that jason totally kicks tims ass in the fight and its not even close, on a meta level the story is 100% presenting jason as the bad robin, the robin who failed, Unlike Tim Drake, A *Good* Robin. (i accidentally reread the issue ... im going to make a post about it later probably. god i wish this fucking issue had been good)

but yeah i could probably go on and on even further but yeah, i think thats where people are coming from when they single timmy out. tim only exists at all bc of jason n would be fundamentally unrecognizable without having been crafted to be the anti-jason. and on top of that he has repeatedly been used by dc to make jason look worse (or rather jason was used to make tim look better), and a lot of my fellow jason stans understandably resent tim for it. i however am built different, and want them to kiss.

[kingusukaras]

some (mildly disjointed) thoughts i had about the translation of most recent leona overblot scene from the second twst novel. unsaid disclaimer is obvi these are just my thoughts and youre free to disagree. i cant stop you

read more because i might ramble a bit 💆🏾‍♀️

i'll start by saying that i'm very grateful for the novel & yuureis translations, bc its given me so much to chew on wrt leonas psyche and mental state, much more than book 2 in the game did. i havent bothered to go looking for reactions tho, bc i can already kind of predict the takes i'll find (knowing how parts of the fandom talks abt leona generally) - and i do "get" it, in the sense that i do also feel the way he tortures ruggie before he overblots is upsetting - but theres so much to dig into here, i feel like its such a waste to get hung up on obsessively moralizing

(i'll mention here that to formulate these thoughts i'm also pulling from the translation of leona's post-overblot scene, plus some moments from the game that i'll mention specifically as i go)

for example, the things leona says pre-overblot, his meltdown about dreams being stupid and useless, how the savanaclaw students (ruggie included) aren't meant to question him; they're meant to obey quietly, sound less like actual things he's trying to tell them and more like him lashing out at himself. as in, he's more talking at them, not to them. skipping forward to book 6: there we see leona give jamil advice, but the implication underneath is that everything he's telling jamil are things leona wishes he had internalized himself - again here, he's talking to someone, but really it's also directed inwards. almost like it's easier for him to look at (and speak about) himself critically when he can externalize it as critique of other people

the other thing im curious about is the distant, detached persona he adopts when he's truly angry. this'll be quick because i don't feel i have enough information to unpack it properly, but if i allow myself to spin thoughts out from limited information: it could almost be a habit he picked up as a child - something he might've forced himself to learn as part of an effort to be seen as more of a 'model' prince. if people were afraid of his moodiness because they feared what his UM (he) could do, then if he swallows those emotions maybe he can mitigate that. this, ofc, being shot through with the expectation that, as royalty, any order he gives people will obey

the final thing, for this post at least, is unpacking the way leona lashes out at ruggie when ruggie defies him. i'm willing to make the very safe bet that most of the reading of this moment is focused on leona being angry over being defied at all, or general disgust at how small and weak ruggie is (appears) to be. and while i think both of those points have some element of truth to them, i think the larger aspect of leonas reaction is jealousy. ruggie somehow, despite everything, despite all of the disadvantages life has thrown at him, still has the courage to have determination. and i want to be very clear here: this is not me saying being poor or struggling is admirable because it makes you strong - i'm not naive and i'm not here to romanticize poverty. what i am trying to say here ruggie's tenacity - a tenacity his life circumstances developed in him - is something that leona lacks, and that's what he's jealous of. he's jealous of his inability to keep having that hope, to maintain that courage in the face of his own repeated failures

(an aside: isn't it ironic that part of the reason ruggie has that tenacity is leona? leonas tutoring, leonas effective leadership of the spelldrive club, and as housewarden?)

(an aside 2x: in many ways, 'giving up' can be seen as a luxury. ruggie does not have the luxury to give up, because it could very well mean that he doesn't eat that day. for leona, regardless of what he does he's going to have a roof over his head and three square meals a day anyway, so what does it matter if he gives up? sure, he won't be happy, but he'll be comfortable in a material sense, and isn't that enough? except, of course, it isn't - not for him. as much as he tries to deny it, he's as fiercely ambitious as the rest of his dorm)

[written-mishaps]

alright I’m back, what’s ur process behind characterization and concept making? (also thanks for the congratulations for ao3 pfffff)

HOOO BOY IM VERY GLAD YOU ASKED ok, ill talk about characterisation and then lead into concept making. I'll mostly be talking about 'It Was Only A Matter Of Time' cause obviously it's quick fresh on the mind in terms of what I did but if you're looking for advice, this can be applied more generally. Also I ended up rambling A LOT so I've put it under a read more. Hope this answers your question!

SO, in the case of the clones, characterisation is far more mealeable than with other fandoms where you have a lot more evidence and material to build up your understanding of a characters personality. With the clones, particualrly those like Thorn, Thire, Stone and of course Fox, theres very little canon basis, so for bulding up their characters, it was just a case of taking what fanon I liked and also constructing the personalities that would work best for the story I wanted to tell. Quick note, since this story ultimately ended up revolving around Fox, a lot of the characterisation for other characters was heaviliy informed by the questuon of "what personlity would best reveal a specific detail or invoking a specifoc reaction or relaisation in Fox" but of course as the story grew, the characters all grew into their own charactisation beyond that. That's the overview, To give you a lil more a concrete example behind this process, I'll use the Corrie Commanders.

So with the Corrie Commanders (Thorn, Thire, Stone, excluding Fox for now since he's a different story) I knew that, since they would most commonly be encountered as a trio, that they each have to have very disctinct Characterisations so it would be easy to differentiate them. So I started by assigning them a key characteristic. Eg.

Thorn: sarcastic and blunt, Thire: logical and practical, Stone: level headed.

Of course there would be other factors, but anytime i wrote them I would keep this key element in mind whenever i had them do anything. Then, something which was super fun to do, I assigned them very specific and individual 'character quirks' as I like to call them, which are essebtially just a couple other things that differntiate them and makes them unique as characters. Eg.

Thorn: he has a speech quirk which im VERY fond of wherin he doesnt pronounce the 'g' in any '-ing' which in my mind i interpret as a kind of drawl to his voice (you'll notice this in his dialogue, where Thorn will say stuff like "goin' to see" "instead of "going to see" etc) it makes me very happy to write, and ut jelps me figure out his specific 'voice' in my mind

Another example is Stone: His characteristic quirk is that he speaks very infrequently, but when he does, he always says something important. Again this is to refelect his character as someone who only speaks whne he feels like he has something worthwhile to say.

All of these tiny little considerations help build up a 'fully fledged character' so to speak, and it helps (hopefully lmao) them feel like distinct characters.

I've talked a lot but just another thing that helps characterisation (which ive mentioned before) is considering what 'role' they play within the larger story, and I do that ny mentally attaching little epithet to specific characters. For exmaple, Wolffes characater exists specifically to illuminate Fox's repressed violent tendencies, and also exists to wrench out the stuff that Fox refuses to confront or admit to himself. So to that measure, Wolffe himself is a very violent and very blunt character. He needs to be, to function for that purpose. Another example is Cody, who is 'The helpless older brother' Cody throughout the story has always been assocaited with reaching out and protecting Fox and trying to be there, but of course hes severly limited by how much help he can actually give. This ties into his character as a very earnest and protective character.

This is getting long so i might stop there for characterisation lmao, but in short, the process involves a bunch of decisons that cinsider "how does this character function within the story? How have their past experinces effected them? Where and What does this manifest as in their personality?"

OK ONTO CONCEPT.

I have a lot less to say abt this one lmao. Id already read a couple fics which dealt with the "what if Fox killed the Chancellor?" And i thought ut was interesting. Ill admit though, the concept of introducing Fives into it all mostly stemmed from frustration lmaoo. It all really started cause I got kind of frustrated with the fics that either demonised Fox or tried to downplay the significance of Fives' deaths. One of the reasons i decided to centre Fives and Foxs relationship as the focal point of the story was because I wanted to hit a medium that sufficiently acknowledged that Fives death was a tragedy which had a huge impact on those who loved him, but also that Fox's decision to kill him maybe wasn't done with pure malice.

That was the initial thinking, but the funny thing abt writing any story of any kind is that it inevitably develops a mind of its own. I didn't initially think sibling relationships and love was going to be such a core part of the story I was writing but sometimes the concept starts to mould itself into creation without you even being aware it's happening.

SO, in short: fun concepts come from finding something you don't like and going 'Why don't I like this? Can I make a story where I DO like this?'

But yeah! That's some thoughts about characterisation and concepts behind IWOAMOT specifically lmao but of course the stuff mentioned here can easily be applied to anything.

If you have any follow up Questions/unanswered areas of Concept making and characterisation, lemme know! As demonstrated, I can talk for ages.

[utilitycaster]

Whoaaaa holy shit something just snapped into place reading you mention the concept of creating a shape of negative space bc i've been thinking so long abt the "unspoken things/quiet part" of characters. I've often had this feeling that fandom will go a million and nine yards to red string board an ocean of depth for their favorite blorbo over.... what comes down to what's technically extrapolating based off of xyz canon, but said canon will be like "this character fidgets once, half his dialogue is quoting an in-universe play he tries to recreate (by ruining ppl's lives), and he doesn't understand why someone wouldn't want to be called a monster, therefore he is AUTISTIC and that drives his logic," or "this character has xyz vague background and is TRAUMATIZED because of WAR" inventing an entire character and it's like. Oh boy. This might be a matter of not being invested enough in these characters to TRY and delve so "deep" but I keep thinking that none of this is actually. written or feels purposeful in the context of How Storytelling Works/the Narrative to MAKE me invest or think that it's worth doing so. I always wonder how many people are trying so hard to project a better story onto something without understanding that the story actually needs to BE THERE and ADDRESSED, even subtly, and token moments aren't enough. But then that gets me thinking about how Thereness needs to exist for something to be subtle but written as opposed to Conspiracy off loose projection.

I was kinda thinking abt Laudna and how to use her as an example, because she's one of those characters for whom like, yeah I as a person totally understand the cycle of being upbeat and normal and everything and then having a random spiral of Bad Upstairs before being normal again, but narratively how do you portray that and why does everyone do it so much better than her. With equal screentime, everyone feels like they have so much more meat to their motivations and psychology despite some being significantly less fraught backstory wise. What's happening here because things just feel like they come out of nowhere with her with "oh so that matters all of a sudden?"

Hi anon,

Yes to all of this! With regards to your first paragraph - I feel that a lot too. It's a tricky situation because I think it's completely valid to project things onto characters and imagine them to have specific qualities that either you have or simply that you wish to see in fiction. It only becomes difficult in a fandom sphere when people insist that this is a fully evidence-based endeavor and not a personal interpretation (especially because a lot of that evidence is, as you say, either very much open to interpretation, or else totally spurious. The number of times I've had to shoo people off my posts for talking extensively about how an immensely self-absorbed character who never thinks about others unless forced to clearly has ADHD...but I digress). And as for the conspiracy element, especially when works aren't as good - absolutely. If you haven't read this, which I reblogged a few weeks ago (has Good Omens 2 spoilers) I highly recommend you do because what you're saying resonates a lot with OP's post, both in terms of our need as fans to project or find similarities with characters, and the fact that when people are disappointed by a work sometimes they try to create a better one, but instead of just writing fanfiction and calling it fanfiction they go full conspiracy theorist and assume there's some secret twist, and fall so hard into that all-crumbs-no-schnitzel (to borrow a metaphor from that post) fanon echo chamber they forget it is, in fact, only fanon.

Which brings us to Laudna. Before I go deeper I want to cover three things. First: for me at least, this criticism comes because I know Marisha is capable of doing this negative space work. It didn't come up much with Keyleth since we kind of knew her whole deal very early (which, to be clear, is valid; not every character needs this), but it's present with both Beau (her relationship to her father is masterfully done; the hallmark of good negative space work is that when the reveal comes you say oh of course) and to a lesser extent Patia, who, like all the Calamity characters, conveys a story much greater than the one that unfolds over a single night. Second: I think part of why a number of us in the fandom are so frustrated is that we have been doing that work of generously interpreting Laudna since the beginning, but nothing ever sticks, so it's becoming less and less worth the effort.

I'd have to go back through my archives pretty extensively, but early on, the going expectation for Laudna was that she would explore the idea of being one of the bystanders in a larger story as someone killed simply because of a passing resemblance to someone the Briarwoods wished to send a message to; that we'd get insight into Whitestone during the occupation from someone who wasn't freed by Vox Machina but rather killed, indirectly, because of them. However, not only have we not gotten that, but she also was chosen for being special: Delilah chose her as a vessel because of her inherent sorcery. So then it was perhaps about that tension between finding power in her sorcery vs. warlock levels - Pâté seemed like a clear setup for Pact of the Chain, after all - but then Marisha admitted she had no intention of taking that third warlock level, and always just planned to play Laudna as exclusively leveling in sorcerer, until FCG attacked. And meanwhile, there's no exploration of those sorcery powers, either.

Speaking only for myself, I've been interrogating "hey, why is her backstory that she was chased out of everywhere but for the most part everyone is mostly fine with her?" and "in 30 years she did nothing about Delilah? Really?" for quite some time. There's a number of questions that are not just unanswered, but lack the hints that this negative space work would provide. And to be clear there are ways to explain those things! This meta does a good job of talking through why she may have been chased out, and I've floated, in the past, that even Delilah's unwelcome presence was better than the absolute silence of being truly alone. But the work to support these fandom theories, again, is not really being done at the table, and moreover, even if it starts being done...it's episode 70. It should have come up in some capacity.

Marisha said (to be clear, somewhat jokingly) in the 2022 ComicCon panel that "Yeah. I don't want to think anymore. I'm tired," re: Laudna but the thing is...honestly, in my opinion? A character with Laudna's premise requires far more work than Beau or Keyleth to do well. Not only is she tied into one of the most famous events and entwined with one of the most famous villains of Campaign 1, but she's got 50 years of backstory! Beau and Keyleth are in their early 20s! (I could make a whole other post about this but character intelligence does not equal how hard they are to play; Imogen is an immensely tough concept that Laura's doing a good job with and she's lower INT than Laudna. I'd rather play a wizard than a character like Grog any day of the week because I genuinely believe that the acting burden for making a character like Grog sympathetic and believable without going into cheap mockery and parody is immense).

Going back to that statement, it really does feel as though every 4-Sided Dive episode or panel, when Marisha talks about Laudna, it's always just that she was envisioned as being over her trauma, and the premise was always just "make that creepy girl from her nightmare". And even then: it's fine if she'd done that - simply made a creepy character who was here to be creepy and cheerfully macabre - but through gameplay it's become clear that Laudna is not over that trauma (her arrested development being one of many options), and has acquired new traumas to boot, and for that matter never was really over it given that she displays intensely but they come up so inconsistently that there's never any follow-through. I agree with you completely that the idea of her often seeming fine and happy and then having spirals is believable and true to life, but one does need to actually follow through on the spirals - I think a lot of us finally threw up our hands when Laudna's believable, well-played, and justifiable anger and resentment after being thrown across the world away from half the party, essentially pushed into a fight that isn't her own, being betrayed by Bor'Dor, and feeling Delilah's return melted away without resolution. If you want to make a character who's over their trauma and go-with-the-flow, I feel as though step 1 is to not have an eternal reminder of one's trauma permanently stuck in one's head. "Warlock who dislikes their patron" is actually a premise that requires quite a lot of thinking and effort, and we are consistently not seeing it.

I think what's most telling is that the defense of Laudna for the weird freakout this past episode is both vehement, and in conflict with itself. Is Marisha just making a joke (that didn't really land with anyone at the table nor much of the fandom, and was taken at least semi-seriously by both)? Or is it actually great and good that Laudna is incredibly traumatized and clingy and we should all hope she becomes even more clingy and codependent? When even the people who are shielding Laudna from even a whisper of criticism can't agree what Marisha's doing, it's pretty dire, especially when that criticism is "this character feels directionless and incoherent."

So getting back to negative space: It's my hunch that there just...wasn't a lot of clarity to Laudna's motivations, and the questions in her backstory weren't answered. She's creepy and she's kooky, Sun Tree corpse, Delilah in her head, met Imogen two years ago, was friends with a little girl at some point (which we only know from 4-Sided Dive, which is, to be clear, bad that it's never come up in-game). We don't know how she feels about her sorcery powers other than a vague enjoyment of their creepiness...but she also sees them as a way out from Delilah...but she also barely engages with Delilah and hasn't done anything to get rid of her. We have no sense of how she got to "the worst thing that's happened to me already happened" because while it's completely fair to play her as feeling that way 30 years later, I highly doubt she felt that way as she cut herself down from the Sun Tree. So as a result, it's hard to pick a direction because that foundation is lacking.

The thing about that negative space is that to do it well, you really need to know what you're trying to convey. Which is also why, as you say, characters with much simpler backstories are fine; Fearne was basically hanging out at her grandmother's place until EXU and her parents left when she was very young; she is curious about her parents and loves her grandmother and is a chaotic fey entity who was sent into the Material Plane with the Weave Lens, and mostly she just wants to explore and have fun and hang out with her friends. Ashley just needs to...play Fearne like that, which she does with aplomb. The complex setup for Laudna demands a huge number of answers in the backstory, and my guess is that Marisha does not have them. I think the problem isn't with the acting (in fact, I'm fairly confident it isn't, because, again, I know from past characters Marisha can do this); it's that Laudna's concept prioritized the aesthetic, mechanics, and facts of the backstory, and didn't adequately fill in her beliefs and motivations, so she's just flailing. I also suspect from the most recent 4-Sided Dive and the most recent SDCC panel that Marisha is specifically looking for interparty conflict, and to be clear that's valid...but again, to do that believably and well, Laudna's philosophy and motivations and characterization need to be much more clearly established than they are.

[captainbobbin]

I'm really, really, REALLY curious:

We all know you're the CEO of XemSai and MoonRocks. But! Who do you think Vexen should be shipped with? Why? (If you don't have any ships for him, feel free to delete this ask!)

(warning for a nsfw answer haha)

first of all thank you for putting the xemsai/moonrocks crown on my gay little head hahahaha

But! Vexen! I love the guy, I think he's very fun. I havent written him in much detail yet but he is definitely going to show up more in LFOTR

I primarily pair him with Marluxia tbh! I like their bitchy dynamic and at some point I would really like to write a pheromone/sex pollen fic of those two. Vexen being very cold and calculated and trying to study Mars on a medical table who is there just emitting perfume and looking smug and trying to get that old mans attention. I like the idea of Marly constantly riling Vexen up and getting under his skin and just generally being a smarmy little annoyance until Vexen pins him to a desk and rails him and Marluxia is just like 'oh my god I didn't know he had this amount of energy in him <3' lmaooo

One of the concepts my chat and I discuss a lot is Vexen and Saix together (which may not be a surprise lmao) - I like the idea of twisting this element of a not-quite-fatherly-bond but like. Vexen wanted the best for Saix. Wanted him to grow up and live and be able to have normality but he just sees Saix struggle with responsibility and possession and everything. Saix being so at his wits end and needing some form of care, any form of care, from anyone who is even half genuine - and he goes to Vexen, who has always been there for him to some extent, who Xemnas hates, who has this way of being guiding and nurturing and its comfortable even though it is kind of strange but they somehow just end up going for it - Vexen of course having so much guilt over bedding someone who he almost saw as a kind of son, wondering about what lines he has crossed, if this is yet another wrong thing to add to his list of dubious moral failures - but ultimately he just wants Saix to have a safe place to outlet, and, hey, if the Diviner comes to him to blow of some steam, tucked away from everyone else, then its better than then seeking out a fight or trying to do something reckless, right? heehee. listen I'm a gross little pervert theres a tasty mix of age gap and authority and it just hints at a daddy kink while not actually being anything specifically gross and I think it could be a super fun dynamic for me to write about at length sometime. I plan on doing a fic on it eventually - but as you know my heart says that Saix ends up elsewhere eventually hahaha this is one of those backburner pairings that I don't put a ton of focus on, its just a fun idea that I think has potential.

(I do have a fic planned where, unfortunately, bad things happen to Vexen in order to further the XemSai agenda. I will perhaps not go into it here but. He uh. He definitely features in it in a major way lmao;;;)

and of course I've seen you mention Vexen and Luxord and by God one day I will explore that because as a British blonde little gayboy I need to put Luxord in more situations

[wonderinc-sonic]

M, S, Y

Hi anon! Ask game here!

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

Answered this one here, but I remembered one more! I want to write my own arcana magic au, or at least pen the designs down. I had a complete obsession with an imagined arcana/ elemental magic system I made up as a teenager, like compulsively obsessed. Basically all the main cast are latent 'witches', and chaos works a bit differently. The silver in my banner image is inspired by it, but a low key version - he should look more abstract than that. But it would be a mission to write it all out!

I also want to finally write more in the cyber virus au, but I am a bit intimidated - a lot of the ideas in there are a bit more mature than I usually write!

S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

Oof, call out! I don't fully know to be fair, I guess I like domestic au? Mostly because its easiest to write, haha.

One I can't resist reading - and don't judge - is hanahaki. I hate a lot of hanahaki lore, but my specific kind of hanahaki? It's such a guilty pleasure. I've written it once, in a different fandom, and obviously I wrote it in the ideal way for me personally - I like hanahaki where the disease isn't cured by reciprocated love but by effectively speaking aloud/ expressing love. I never liked the pressuring and guilt elements that happen if you don't do that.

So, if its tagged hanahaki and I don't hate the ship? I WILL click. But theres like a 70% chance I won't like it. I'm in a toxic relationship with hanahaki.

Y: A character you want to protect.

Oof. None. Put em in the blender. I guess Tails, Cream and Charmy - character ages are blurry these days post frontiers and idw, but I don't love writing really bad things happening to small children, even when it's in the aim of angst. Writing Charmy getting his chest crushed was not fun for me, I think I calculated that Metal Sonic wasn't seeming violent enough, but it made me feel a bit weird truthfully. Just out of my comfort zone, I don't think it's wrong for people to write dark action/ angst/ horror with child characters! I find it quite impressive tbh!

Thanks for the ask! Sorry for the long rambles!

[bulbabutt]

say what you will about bay april (and trust me, megan fox deserves so much better) at least she's proactive about looking into things and does things without the boys-hell she's the reason they're even alive in the first place, she saved splinter and the turts as a kid

doesn't erase vernon and mikey being constantly horny on main for her or that weird technique they force her to do to get info out of stockman in oots's opening segments but still, give her credit, she's strong-willed and has a sense of justice and tries to do what's right

hmmmmmmm ok. theres a lot to say about bayverse april. and i specifically avoided talking about movie aprils cuz it was going to get repetitive and long (like 1990 april is very similar to 87 and 07 april is basically 03 april)

but with bayverse, you're right, she is the central character in that movie who drives the plot. but thats because of the megan fox of it all, being that shes the biggest star there and also because bay had an obsession with her (to her detriment bad vibes all over the fucking place holy shit leave this woman alone) we're still framing aprils ass in the shot, still being creepy about her, despite the fact this movie is trying to be from her perspective (for more info on that aspect i think you just gotta watch lindsay ellis' "the framing of megan fox" video about transformers, because its the same shit here)

and just because its like 87 april (because this movie is pandering to 87 fans) doesnt mean theyre really add anything or even understand the concept of what makes 87 april good in the first place. like i said in my post about 87 april, what makes her great is that the turtles fall into her story, and that we are centred on the news room politics of it all. the human world the turtles interact with is her life.

(this got kinda long so its under a cut)

in this movie, we change the misogynistic boss burne thompson into: whoopi goldburgs burnadette thompson. which. hm, color and gender blind casting for burne thompson is. a way to do it i guess. (i do know whoopi is in this movie because she wanted to be in a turtles movie, no disrespect there) but it removes that core element of reporter april fighting her shitty boss. in this she's now just a regular reporter working at a normal news station, but also we're still giving her the girly aerobics story. so, who's decided that if her boss is a black woman? thats kind of fundamentally changing the implications of why shes stuck doing that job, its no longer because shes the woman reporter, and is now just because thats what shes been assigned. now its not her fighting sexism, its her just not wanting to do her job. a shitty one, but its no longer because of a sexist work place.

and then her story of being a reporter is she gets FIRED for being a BAD reporter, because shes crazily rambling about turtles to her boss with no real sources. which...87 april didnt do that, her point wasnt to find the turtles, it was to use her job to help them. the turtles are the secret, not the story. for a movie that likes pandering to 87 and nothing else, they missed this concept entirely

(side note that isnt important, when shes rambling to the roommate about them.... this movie panders enough to 87, why is the roommate not just named irma. shes only in that scene. seriously, it should have just been irma.)

and then. the vernon fenwick of it all........ why the fuck. did you do this. why make him the only character who believes her? oh sorry, not even believes her, simply THINKS SHES HOT. SO GOES ALONG WITH IT. i know they wanted to put casey jones in this movie, but then went NOOO that would be SILLY if the guy hanging out with her is casey (we want to save him for the seqeul) so lets make it another reporter. uh vernon. hes from the original! and thus we change vernon from being the rival reporter who hates her because shes a woman whos better at his job than him, into just: her creepy co reporter who has a crush on her. and since he's the co star here, she has to not tell him off for his bad behaviour. maybe he'll even get a date out of it!

(again, if she needed a sidekick, irma is right there, you put the other two here, why not irma)

and the choice to make her a part of the turtles origin story is, in my perspective, very much like my issue with 12 april's destined to be part of the story thing. shes part of this story because her dad created the turtles. yes, she saved the turtles and splinter, but its less of her own choice in the matter, its because she was the daughter of the man who made them. its the opposite of what i think makes her a good character in the franchise, someone who is hunting for a story and gets in too deep, and happens to be near enough by the turtles that they get her out.

like lets compare her to the april closest to her, 1990 april. thats an april who gets into the plot via going hunting for a story on her own. there's some kind of gang up to no good and she wants to get to the bottom of it. she does get to the bottom of it all on her own, she learns via interviewing immigrants that the foot is the organization behind it. shes doing something no one wants her to do, shes going against what her boss, and what cops think she should be doing, and the foot literally try to kill her because SHE is hunting for THEM. she ends up in turtle plot because raphael HAPPENS to be around when the foot find her. its HER story. the foot is after HER. the turtles in that movie end up losing splinter and then fighting the foot BECAUSE april was looking for them. THATS what makes her have agency in the story.

i do think a lot of you guys are missing my point here though (no offence!) so let me try to explain it better.

its not just about if we see april be a self sufficient character who's central to the plot, or even what her personality is like, its whether she exists in a real way outside of the men around her. its if her choices are important to the story. she doesnt need to have saved the turtles, know how to fight, kicked the shredder, or have been right about whatever story is going on. the question is: is she in the story because she did something on her own to get to it? is she a character who matters without the men in her life? can she stand on her own? do you care about her life? what are her aspirations, how is she trying to achieve them?

based on all that, i think 2014 april is in fact the weakest april. they're only making her seem like 1987 april because, and i dont know if ive said this anywhere yet, men who watched 87 when they were kids think shes hot. that is the only value a lot of people have placed on her. thats her legacy to a lot of people. its fucked up, and this movie doesnt do anything to dissuade you from thinking that.

sorry to go off on your ask, but bayverse (specifically the first one) really got no aspect of any tmnt thing correct. not april, not shredder, not splinter, not casey, and not the aspect of how these turtles are even ninja (i think everyone involved shouldn't be allowed to make another piece of media for putting that fucking ninjitsu book in the fucking sewer)

[pumpkinsy0]

hcs about angela feeling like she’s mostly valued for her appearance and how she handles that / works through that ?

ok look i hc angela as black in the 60s so thats what we ricking w this is fir a VERY specific angela, everyone hold my hand angela backstory time NOT WHAT U ASKED FOR BUT LOOK THERES ELEMENTS OF IT IVE BEEN WAITING TO YAP ABOUT IT

•from a young age, angela always knew ppl thought she was cute, it was all ppl rlly mentioned to her, when it came to her family, even strangers!!! boys in school came up to her and she was popular for it, there was no doubt about it in her mind, she always knew she looked good and embraced that

•she never used it for anything BAD though, maybe just to get extra snacks, or get herself or curly or maybe even tim out of small bits of trouble things like that!! but she still felt human

•moving to the us however??? different case, she was still seen as a human, but more so as something just to gawk at, she felt like she was just kind of treated as some cool animal in a zoo, nobody rlly cared to KNOW her

•for a while, she never talked cause she didnt know english and thought that if she just learned it, maybe ppl would care at least a LITTLE more for her but it was the exact opposite, if anything it just got worse bc guys started to fetishize her and she knew it and felt soooo uncomfortable. they saw her as a girl who was “pretty for someone like her”, and look she didnt know english but she wasnt stupid and it angered her

•when it came to girls around her, they thought she wasnt worth the attention, and didnt do much to help her either, so angela truly was just on her own for a while, no female figures, just her, tim, and cury, which made her understandably bitter, months later and tim met a guy named dally, and angela met a girl named sylvia!!

•sylvia was like her and didnt push her to the side like everyone else did, so immediately angela just bonded w her, she was looking for a girl just to comnect w and she found that w sylvia. sylvia taught her a lot if things, like how the boys around town operate, how the girls can get mean quick, and that if angela wanted to protect herself, she HAD to fend FOR herself

•and sylvia told angela to use the things she was already known for as her leverage. she already had a one up on a lot of em from that alone!! its what shes known for, so just play into it she might b growing faster than she should, but she’ll survive, angela calls it a sacrifice, maybe she believes it maybe its just to comfort her, she doesnt know anymore

•at first she uses her new found confidence just to get back at the people who used her for their own entertainment, used the boys who looked at her to elevate her status as something to “TRULY” see and not ignore and just labeled the girls whos bfs she stole as jealous over “someone as small as me”, maybe TBEY were the problem and thats y their bfs left em, not her!!!

•but after it she just felt sick, couldnt even stand to look herself in the mirror cause she wonders too much about what wouldve happen had they never moved, she knows shes fucked up but maybe it was inevitable

•she uses her looks to get cheap thrills to distract her from her own shitty life, she doesnt wanna think about her home life so she goes out w a boy, she doesnt wanna think about her lack of friends so she comforts herself by hanging out w ppl who love to party anywhere any time, she wakes up not exactly knowing what she wants but knows she wants to get away from everything