#and i do in fact find their interaction in that episode boring on a deeper level… like it’s funny but not compelling enough

[lenievi]

honestly love how Spock would just silently mouth whatever illogical bullshit Kirk would say

“missionary”, “astronomical”

wonder if there’s more

[leonardalphachurch]

saw the question of “how long does it take rvb to pass the bechdel test” and i got curious and also wanted to make myself mad so.

my answer is Reconstruction: Chapter 5 (s6e5). there’s a recorded conversation between sheila and tex about the ship crashing.

my answer with no caveats is Evacuation Plan (s9e4). carolina, 479er, filss and south all participate in a conversation that takes up a good chunk of the episode.

i talk a LOT more about the state of female character interactions under the cut.

the first time two women talk at all is s2e11/bgc30:

sheila bisexual moments. while iconic, this isn’t much of a conversation (tex doesn’t ever speak to her) and it’s certainly about a man so. doesn’t count. next!

next is s3e1/bgc39:

while here it’s implied that they are actually having a conversation at least we still don’t actually see any exchanges between them and they’re still talking about men and quote “Boring stuff like oppression, and a hostile work environment.” which is great but. a) we don’t see it. and b) again, still about men

next is tex and kai’s exchange in season 5. which is misogynistic as fuck and even if it did pass the bechdel test i would refuse to count it. but guess what! not only are they talking about men, but we literally do not see them talk to each other. kai speaks to tex “who’s o’malley?” but tex doesn’t respond to her, instead asking the guys “who’s the girl?” (s5e10/bgc92). then they talk in the background of the next episode while church and tucker are misogynistic. then it’s two more episodes until we get this gem

y’know, girl stuff! how fucking charming. these writers really have a great grasp on how woman act. god, it’s even worse when compared to tex and sheila’s conversation earlier. in what world would tex be fucking intimidated by kai.

and you know what the joke of this all is. even if they did have a conversation here that passed the bechdel test it still wouldn’t count under some rule sets because kai still doesn’t have a name at this point. great work team.

s5e15/bgc92 has a deleted scene where kai calls up a girl friend and they talk… i’m not counting it because 1) kai is as of yet unnamed and the girl friend is never named, 2) the conversation is ostensibly about junior, though they do talk about other stuff enough that you could argue it’s not about a man, but 3) it’s deleted. you don’t get credit for shit you deleted.

next time two women talk to each other is recovery one episode 4. this is the first time we see two women have an actual, back and forth conversation. the conversation is between south and commamd about wash, delta, and the fact that south isn’t rejoining freelancer. i do think this conversation fits the spirit of the bechdel test (two women talking to each other with deeper characterizations unmoored from being about men) but that’s only really by technicality. command isn’t a character here and doesn’t become one for another 4 seasons; the conversation is only retroactively a deeper one. it’s up to you whether or not you pass it. i think it’s important to remember that the bechdel test isn’t really a hard test to determine what’s feminist (and was made in the first place to be about queer women being able to see themselves in media) but rather a marker to help sort out if the female characters in a work are allowed any depth outside of men. this exercise is less about finding a scene fitting exact criteria and more about. me going oh god it really is fucking bad out there huh.

my actual pick, as i said in the beginning, is s6e5. though tex mentions gamma and the aliens, the conversation is still about the fact that the ship is crashing. and in terms of the spirit of the test, two women yelling at each other as they die definitely fits definitely fits “deeper character motivations outside of men” imo. it’s. kind of really sad though. the first time we ever see tex and sheila have an actual conversation is the last time we really see either of them, chronologically. we only got to see them have a relationship as they were dying. why couldn’t they have been friends in life.

if a recorded conversation isn’t good enough for you, you’ll have to wait until s8e15. season 7 does not have a single woman in it. tεx and filss talk about pfl’s files. it’s not exactly an in depth back and forth and the conversation is shared with simmons and church but. it’s something. i think sheila and tex’s convo fits the spirit of the test a bit more but. let’s chalk it up to two conversations in the 8 seasons. fantastic.

all right, season 9 time. come on, a third of the main cast is women! that’s gotta bring our numbers up, right?

episode 1? no. 2? no. 3?

incredible! we have a conversation between female operative and pilot! just kidding. the wiki doesn’t name them bc they haven’t been named yet, but this is a conversation between carolina and niner! no funny business! just an actual conversation between woman! wow. only took us nine seasons to get to a point where i can confidently say something passes the bechdel test with no caveats. unless we look at the 60 second rule. then. oops.

but… wow! episode 4 has… THREE women? talking to each other? and then a fourth joins in? i thought it was a myth! being able to handle so many women on screen at once… they really did something special here. anyway, this episode is the first to pass with flying colors. i can’t time shut bc i don’t have the videos on hand but i’m certain this passes the 60 second mark. great work! if only it didn’t take you nine years to get to this point.

ugh. i had more written past this point but tumblr erased it and i don’t feel like fucking redoing it. i got to the point i wanted to so. maybe i’ll continue this later. would like to explore the rest of pfl and chorus. it’s impressive how well pfl manages to avoid having women actually speak to each other. they’ll literally be in the same conversation but never actually address each other. this happens multiple times.

[mdhwrites]

What's your opinion in The Owl House villains? (The bad guys I mean not the misunderstood ones)

So the villains I haven't discussed yet mostly boil down to the one off villains and the coven heads, though the coven heads are effectively the one off villains of S2. I would also count Tibbles in this because him coming back from time to time hardly matters to the broader point. THEY'RE ALL THE FUCKING SAME. They're all just some sort of asshole out for selfish greed who barely actually interacts with the characters. The best of all of these is King's Publisher and that's mostly just because he's the one that actually has a neat magical gimmick to him that feels genuinely threatening and creative. Everyone else is fine at best, boring at worst. But it's hard to really care because none of them really matter. Even Tibbles is just there to facilitate higher stakes and barely that even for the most part with how things are framed. They're never given interesting personalities, they're never given much to do and most usually have at best one fun moment that might make them memorable or a good design and then move on. They're also the majority of the demon representation of the show, while there are no good demons (unless you count Hooty who is comic relief) amongst the main cast. The only reoccurring one that could be considered good is Big Nose, Dana's literal self insert. That's not a joke, that's what Dana has said from what I hear. And it's really awkward the fact that the ugly demons are contrasted so heavily with all the beautiful elven people. Honestly, the more people around me have talked about it, the more I probably need to do a deep dive on both how bad the implications of the twin races and beauty standards are (even Luz would be considered easily conventionally attractive and Willow is the definition of "More to love" when it comes to including a heavier set character) and why it's probably not done with the malice or the like. But let's actually swing back around to a more fundamental problem with the literal narrative structure of most of these one off villains. See, when Amphibia uses a monster escalate stakes, it's usually related to the actual plot. As an example: The lovebirds being used during a romance episode so they are thematically on point. Or giant flies highlighting the garbage that Hop Pop is selling and the larger rot he is introducing to the town. You don't get to say that with most of the one off villains. They have a point to be there but they're so business minded that they don't contrast or help the moral or thematic point of any given episode. Not only is this just pointless storytelling, it creates a deeper, more fundamental issue of them not being able to properly able to interact with the cast. Hooty's Moving Hassle is actually one of the best examples of this. In BOTH plots, the escalation caused by the villain only matters in that it facilitates downtime for the characters to talk to each other. Gus, Willow and Luz aren't interacting with people who think might is right and thus putting Willow down for her weakness but instead the angst is focused on Amity, making her the 'real' antagonist of the A plot to the point where the hunters effectively don't interact with the kids outside of threatening their lives and that doesn't say anything about anything going on. The only memorable thing about them is the line about wanting to shove kids off of cliffs because that is just genuinely an amazing joke. They at least DO get a resolution that is thematically coherent because the situation the kids are put in can only be fixed by Willow finding confidence and taking them all out. It's not a good ending because it's too easy and we don't even get to actually enjoy a fight out of it but it is narratively coherent at least.

Meanwhile, in the B plot, that side of the episode is effectively about Hubris and admittedly, Eda gets in trouble for assuming she's the best Hex'em Hold Em' player out there. But what happens after that? Eda, who only picked up the game this episode so it feels incredibly forced that she is this obsessive with it (which isn't technically bad for a kid's show but bad for TOH which wants to be serialized), talks to King, feels bad, promises to throw the cards away and then they luck into being saved when Hooty crushes the stall. There isn't an actual resolution that shows any growth or thought on Eda's part, just convenience and words while Tibbles isn't really being arrogant but smart. He also is barely interacting with the two besides treating King as a doll which is an excuse to put him in funny outfits but him being treated as a child, even by episode six, is getting repetitive by then and they don't do anything clever with the outfits besides the most obvious 'this is embarrassing' ones that any show does. And those are BOTH villains the show will use again but still not manage to ever find an actual thematic purpose to them. It's honestly bizarre that TOH sets up a rogue's gallery at all instead of just allowing it to be either the EC or the world that is the threat. Oh wait, they also do that which means no one gets to return more than twice after their initial showing besides FUCKING KIKIMORA. This even goes for fucking Hunter and Belos who barely get to be in the show, let alone as antagonists properly, because they're just throwing in too many of these wastes of space. And all of this is without getting into the fact that none of them come off as real threats. Because so often they have no part in the actual drama and their treating it businesslike, they're not actually even menacing the characters much. They're just doing the same thing they always do. I'll give Tibbles that at least. He seems to be reveling in being a villain instead of just doing his job. But this also goes for the heroes. They care so little about the individual villains, instead focusing on their personal problems, that it feels like the villains are dismissed by the characters as they don't treat this as a real problem. Frankly, if the personal stuff the villains were facilitating was good enough, that might be okay. These are one note characters after all that we're mostly not going to see again. But... they're not. This includes the Coven Heads where Terra is barely an aspect of her one proper villain episode, Falls and Follies, and has nothing to do with solving Luz's fears about the promise (which... I LOVE the fact that the promise is effectively entirely dropped from the series after that episode without resolution. Just adore that such a massive cliffhanger is mostly brushed under the rug afterwards, even to the point where Luz's choice to stay in the human realm isn't about the promise but entirely other problems.). Theoretically, Labyrinth Runners has Gus dealing with his anxiety but... He also already knows how to do that well enough to teach it to Hunter and what causes the anxiety feels very similar to MANY other life and death situations that Gus has been in so it feels kind of cheap, not helped by all the other elements in that episode that make it less about Gus, who is the only one that has any reflection in the villain in that episode and that's only because of their shared magic, but instead a Hunter episode.

And those are the better villains. A lot of S1's one off villains are used for King plotlines, even down to the only unique villains in Once Upon a Swap being for while Eda is inhabiting King. And can we all agree that King has really shitty personal plotlines that never feel they stick until his entire character is thrown out in S2 to be replaced with daddy issues? I mean, literally two of his episodes are considered the worst in the show by most of the fandom.

And he's dealing with such compelling personal issues like not fucking your friend over in a creative project or don't try to literally isolate someone from the rest of their friend group. Technically good lessons that are also not handled great frankly, especially when the latter still sympathizes with King by having him have the argument of missing Luz which will only be reinforced him being the ONLY character who acknowledges that Luz living in both realms might not be only a good thing.

And I mean, you compare this with almost ANY even halfway decently regarded kid's cartoon and it's frankly embarrassing. Rise of the TMNT, Gravity Falls, Amphibia, and Molly McGee all blow it out of the water. Danny Phantom and Kim Possible were doing way better over a fucking decade ago. Even FUCKING FAIRY ODDPARENTS, especially early on, was doing better than this at making those episodes not only entertaining but having the villains make sense to what moral dilemma Timmy was facing in a given episode. And that series literally is about wish fulfillment. It's just bad adventure writing. Honestly, it's bad writing as even antagonists like Boscha don't keep focus during their episodes. Like Boscha's episode theoretically tackles bullying by actually bringing in a bully character proper besides Amity. Instead, it's WAY more focused on Lumity and just sports shenanigans and Boscha being a bully barely registers besides "She has a bad attitude because she actually gives a fuck about her sport instead of treating like a game." Like... Her team abandons her and I'm just left with the question of "Do none of you fucking care how you perform? Is Boscha literally the only one who likes this sport in this school?"

I almost brought up Matt here but he IS in fact just meant to be misunderstood since after his first episode, he's really just a good guy with snark. Frankly though, his first appearance is one of the best in terms of actually having a villain who plays into the character angst of the episode. Then again, he was obviously meant to be a part of ANOTHER rivals to lovers ship like Lumity so get fucked I guess.

This all honestly begs the question of why the main cast weren't their own antagonists as well. Why there aren't more episodes about them clashing if the only point to all of these villains is that they're meant to facilitate conversation? Amphibia did this plenty where there might be a monster but it is ABSOLUTELY the characters antagonizing each other that is the actual villain and allows for compelling looks at their relationships. Their good sides and their bad... Oh. Well. I guess that does explain it. Can't really have Amity be an antagonist again unless you want to remember that she started as one of the worst people, not characters but as a person, in the show. Or have Luz purposefully look like an asshole. Or Willow. Or Gus. Or literally any of the main cast. They can only be bad on accident. Like losing a game you think is rigged in your favor. Fuck that.

=======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[yung-goos]

Rambles 0.5

i've been meaning to write. idk about what. but theres a growing need to just write. to let everything out. this will become a word salad at some point. whatever.

emotions. -

yea idk. all over the fucking place. i'm sad, lonely, confused, irritated, tired, uncomfortable, bored, hopeful, optimistic, pessimistic, inspired... theres just no keeping up with it. my mind in a constant war between what to focus on and what not to. shut down completely some months ago.. idk how long its been. distanced myself from friends, family I live with. i've been getting better, albeit slowly, but I'm not too disappointed by that. haven't really explained how i'm feeling to my friends, but they didn't seem too discouraged by my distance. i'm sure they'd understand. what i'm mainly stressed out about is having to deal with the fallout of it all with my dad. he's been taking my distance personally, which i'm torn on if i can blame him or not. now that i feel a bit better, it kind of is now. like, he scoffed when i tried to explain that i'm going through a bit of a depressive episode and get distant when it happens. sometimes i really feel like he doesn't believe me when i talk about how i feel. along with his know-it-all, assumptious attitude about everything, i'm starting to believe thats what makes talking to him so hard. like i think what i'm most scared for is not so much the actual 'talk' but the outcome. i do not know if i can handle if he misunderstands, downplays, confuses me, deflects, or even just gets a bit aggressive, as he has shown to do before... idk... cant help but think this is all on me, for not explaining things to him sooner and giving him a chance to understand fully. like the more time goes on where i - or, even we, at this point - ignore this big elephant in the room, the more i feel like we'll never get the chance to hash it out. we were content on trying to communicate after the first time we argued, and now i'm just stunned and feel like i can't... such a simple problem that could be worked through if i wasn't made to be so spineless. coming to the terms that my social anxiety runs so much deeper than i originally thought is fucking me up. can't even go out with friends without distressing myself over some innocuous interaction. i'm so so tired... i miss being around someone, people, that effortlessly broke down my walls and made me feel complete. i just want to be understood.

love. -

fuck love. not really. im filled with adoration. ambition. commitment. lust. desire. but naw. fuck love. kinda. not really though. it's weird, it's like, all the weird people that i've dealt with over the course of moving and being here has left such a bad taste in my mouth. like even thinking about having to sift through a bunch of people to find the ones who won't make me feel like i'm not even worth it... it makes me itch. despite all that, i'm eager to meet new people. eager to accept people for who they are. eager to work through any issues in whichever capacity with others that i care for and love. i wish people would stay around long enough to bear those fruits of labour with me. slowly accepting the fact that not everyone will. i guess that shouldn't be the initial expectation when meeting people. it would do me wonders if i could fucking understand that, but god it is so hard when people misunderstand and jump to conclusions on your entire character based off of few interactions, or don't even bother to try at all. but shit... looking back, i can't say i'm entirely innocent of not doing either myself. gotta keep reminding myself that we're all flawed and going through this bullshit called life will bring the ugly out of all of us. but yea, despite all this, the love has been felt as of late. spending time around my brother and (surprisingly) my mom, as well as being around my good friend and her friends a bunch this summer has cheered me up noticably... slowlllyyyyy wanting to get back out there fr, but i'd really like to put some things into motion before i do, which brings me to....

life. -

ughhhhhhh. aaaAAAUUGHHHH. i just have this big ole back log of shit i've been putting off for so long. and its like, i know what i should be doing, how to do it, and more than capable of getting it done, but for so long just been paralyzed to do anything (unless absolutely necessary). i had a pretty good conversation with a friend of one of my good friends about this awhile ago. they called it decision paralysis, and i think that's an amazing way to explain what i'm feeling. it's like my brain does not know what to focus on at any given point and just freezes up in response. on top of that, the lack of energy and drive (esp. recently) makes trying to get things done even worse. what's funny though, is that this is the least of what i'm worried about. cuz i know the slightest pivot with a splash of consistency in routine would propel my life forward tenfold. like what i really want is within arms reach, i just want to get over some of these deeply seeded issues before really trying to go for it. need to, even. like if i could go outside without tearing myself apart over some spontaneous, maybe even awkward conversation, i think i'd be unstoppable. maybe. but anyways, despite how everything sounds life is... bearable. oddly pleasant, even. haven't gotten into all the new stuff i've bought, games i've played, things that have brought me joy over these months despite everything, but i think i'll get into that on other posts.

bleh.... i think thats everything. for now at least. now that its all out, i think its time i start carpe'ing some diem or something for once.

[black-coffee-and-sugar]

Fair warning: it's a long post. Let's examine some of the reasons that Kara has cited why she didn't tell Lena the super secret:

1. She wanted to protect her

Now, this one has some legs on it as Kara specifically mentions it in S3 during a conversation with James and Mon-El. And there's definitely some truth to it. But it's also bullshit. Lena was in constant danger and put herself at risk to save/protect Kara who didn't actually need it. In fact, the first time Lena's mentioned (not shown just mentioned) it's in regards to the venture explosion - something that happened because Lex was trying to kill her. People have been trying to kill, kidnap, manipulate, threaten Lena since minute one. Knowing Kara = SG would not have severely worsened any of that. In fact, it might've helped ease Lena's anxieties and resulted in her taking less risks with her life. In fact, I'm surprised Lena didn't think that Kara's association with her was putting Kara at risk (a far more likely thing).

The 100th episode addresses this to some degree in one of the AUs. Lena tells Kara that she wouldn't have had to risk her life dealing with Sam/Reign alone if she'd known the truth and she's absolutely right. And sure, Lena could've told SG and the DEO when she pieced Reign = Sam together but ask yourself, why would she? What assurance did she have that the DEO would not have treated her BEST FRIEND like a hostile instead of someone in need of help? The DEO is guilty of this and they have a history of locking up aliens indefinitely and on occassion straight up murder. After Reign nearly killed their biggest asset (i.e. SG) why in the hell would Lena trust them with helping Sam? She wouldn't nor should she have. She didn't know that she could go to SG because remember, Lena doesn't think of her the same way she does of Kara. SG is not her best friend. She doesn't have a personal, humanized relationship with her (at least not that she knows of). And obviously she's not going to tell Kara the human reporter with the DEO agent sister about it either. And the kryptonite? SG lost her shit over it even though she's been working with the DEO who stockpiled the stuff until SM left with it (a dumbass move that would've bit them so hard in the ass with the WK situation if it weren't for Lena's kryptonite!). Plus, Kara didn't have an issue with Oliver having a kryptonite arrow, J'onn having a sword. But Lena? How dare she!

So yea no. I get that "I kept my secret to protect you" is a popular thing in the hero world but in the case of Kara and Lena, it doesn't make sense and it did make situations unnecessarily harder.

2. She didn't trust Lena

This is mentioned by Kara to William in a deleted scene from S5 but I think it's worth exploring. I'm not sure to what extent Kara means with this but it could be referring to the moments as SG where she did display a distrust of Lena's intentions and she used Lena's personal relationships against her (i.e. asking James to break into Lena's lab). I mentioned the S3 shitshow with the kryptonite which is where a lot of this started but there's also other scenes in that same season where SG pretty much calls into question the so-called trust she has in Lena despite claiming otherwise. The switch was so abrupt the minute she learned Lena not only had but knew how to make kryptonite. Did anyone ever consider why Lena would bother learning how to make kryptonite? I'd hazard a guess that it was something she was looking into even before Sam/Reign. I think she happened to find Lex's stock and she decided to learn how it works and why it affects the Supers like it does. That would explain how Lena seems to be the ONLY ONE able to make an anti-kryptonite suit and other viable forms of the rock (i.e. Harun el). But no, SG and others immediately jump to the worst conclusions and associate the endeavour with Lena's last name, something SG KNOWS Lena is sensitive about it. And then the harun el. SG was suddenly fine with Lena making it when it was to split Sam from Reign and save Argo from extinction. But when it was used for something else that Lena didn't clue her in on (and what do you know, Alex, Brainy and James didn't either and they KNEW what Lena was doing with it) she got back on her high horse and the distrust became front and centre. You can't trust Lena as Kara and then immediately distrust her as SG and expect her to be accepting of this dichotomy. I'm surprised the woman managed to retain her sanity.

And still, this reasoning doesn't quite hit the mark in comparison to every other insistence of Kara believing in Lena (from day one she even told Clark that she believed Lena after meeting her for the first time). But the contrasting opinions and actions must have given Lena pause. I don't blame her to call into question which version of the truth was real and choosing to believe the worst. It's what SG and the SFs have been doing to her.

3. She was wary of Lena

This isn't an explicitly given reason but I do think it's how the secret keeping started in S2. Frankly, I don't even blame Kara for not showing her full deck in the beginning because she (and even us as an audience) didn't know much about Lena beyond wanting to do good and not be like her family. So no, Kara not telling Lena in the beginning actually makes sense to me (though she told Nia in a split second but that's neither here nor there). For me, I started to seriously take Lena at her word after the Medusa episode. That would've been the perfect opportunity for her to show the true "xenophobic" colours some parts of the fandom accuse her of having and she didn't do it. I don't think she even got so much as a thank you for it. People praise SM for getting Lex arrested but ultimately it was Lena's testimony that got him thrown behind bars. Same thing with Lillian! And yes, the daxamite invasion was facilitated by Lena unwittingly working with Rhea but she fixed it with the lead dispersal bomb, a device she allowed SG the privilege of using or not. So Kara and the SFs being cautious about Lena really should've evaporated halfway through S2 (and it did for Kara at least). In fact, the daxamite invasion may not have happened if Lena knew exactly who Rhea was and her relation to Mon-El because they would've warned Lena about it. Lena did want Kara's advice on Rhea and she would've waited for it if she knew what was going on (i.e. Alex being held hostage) and hell, might've been able to fix it in typical Lena ex machina fashion.

4. She didn't want to lose her

This is probably as close to the truth as we've gotten and it's actually part of her confession in 5x01 (something her outburst in 5x19 tries to undo). But the thing is, Kara KNEW this was a possibility and yet, continued walking towards the deadly cliff with her eyes wide open. The probability of losing Lena got higher and higher as time went on and it was always inevitable. There was always this spotlight placed on Kara telling Lena or Lena finding out on her own but there was always a HUGE chance that Lillian would've told her. Or Lex, which is exactly what happened. And Kara knew that they knew and yet she did nothing about it. The minute kara found out Lillian knew she should've taken action, what guarantee did she have that Lillian wouldn't have gotten bored of waiting for Lena to piece it together? How can they just leave Lillian with dangerous knowledge like that is beyond me. When Alex in particular has made such a big deal about people knowing, didn't want Kara telling Lena, only allowed Kara to tell Lucy to save J'onn and yet, letting Lillian amble about with this info is okay??? Nothing was stopping her from telling Lena or it slipping during one their chess games and definitely nothing stopping Lex from dropping that bomb.

The 100th episode AUs showed us that each time it was Kara telling the truth, no matter how hurt and upset Lena rightfully was, she was ultimately fine with it. And Kara ends up losing her to death, not because Lena walked away. How this wasn't the takeaway message for Kara after that adventure, idk. It was Kara's hesitatancy in telling Lena that allowed Lex to weaponize this secret and twist it into something it never was. And yes, Kara doesn't owe a damn soul her secret and has rarely ever been given the chance to tell anyone on her own terms (James - told by SM, Alex, J'onn, Brainy, Mon-El, the Legion - always knew, Lex & Lillian, Lord & Cat - found out somehow). She only ever got to tell Winn, Lucy and Nia and I'm sorry but none of those people have ever proven themselves trustworthy at the time of the reveal the way Lena has.

So while Kara is every right to keep her secrets, she was wrong to insert herself in Lena's life if she never had any intention of telling her and let's be honest, it really didn't seem like Kara had any timeline on that front.

5. She was selfish

Similar to the above and also mentioned during the confession but this is even deeper. Lena was something of an outlet for Kara, a way to feel completely normal, something she hasn't been able to experience with anyone, even Mon-El. Can you imagine being a cub reporter who knows powerful CEO Lena Luthor and having said CEO choose to spend time with you? Choose to let you interview her when she's wary of the press (remember her interactions with Clark in 2x01 and her family history)? Choose to treat your problems as important and valid and human? I don't blame Kara at all for being selfish with Lena, for wanting to keep Lena all to herself like that. But to not share the other aspects of herself was seriously wrong too and resulted in this imbalance in their relationship. To Lena, it looks like she was giving all of herself when Kara was not. It looks like she put all her trust and vulnerabilities out there when Kara didn't. It looks like Kara was using her (which let's be real, she kinda did a few times in S2 with the fight club and bs article to get info on Lillian and then ofc the CatCo-Edge problem she visited Lena for after ignoring her and proceeding to continue the rejection after Lena said she'd look into it).

You think post-reveal Lena didn't think back to all those moments and have those kinda thoughts? Even called into question what might've been the real reason James dated her and Kara was so insistent on befriending her? Were there perhaps times were she figured it out and can't remember and what's why she chose not to see it? Why do we think she still showed up game night in 4x22 instead of confronting Kara? Because these thoughts amongst others must've been swarming her mind and the only way to keep the upper hand is to continue playing dumb. So yes, Kara made the conscious decision to be selfish with Lena because of the unexpected connection they forged and I get it totally. But Lena has never been selfish and she's always made hard efforts to be a damn good friend (and she was idc what others might think on that) and open herself up to Kara despite how difficult and frankly foreign that is for her.

So are Kara's reasons valid? To a point, I would say yes but their validity waned over the seasons to the point where the secret keeping didn't even make sense anymore.

So was Lena's anger valid? Yes! 100% it was and honestly, I'm surprised she managed to keep it together for so long. I couldn't. But her anger doesn't justify her actions (mind control, manipulating Kara, threatening Russell, holding J'onn's bro captive, putting Hope inside Eve) and how she went out of her way to hurt Kara back. However, I get why she did it though it's worth pointing out that this is the only instances of a betrayal in her life where Lena has gone this far. Bitch straight up spiralled where previously she would cut ties and move the fuck on with life. But with Kara, that doesn't even seem to manifest itself to Lena as an option. Will the show ever address the obvious WHY for this and for Kara being so so terrified of losing Lena (like honestly I have never seen Kara look more distressed).

Maybe, maybe not but regardless I'm not buying this platonic friends nonsense because no one is that devastated over a friendship. Many of us (myself included) have experienced falling outs with very close friends and breakups. Which one do you think the Kara/Lena rift in S5 felt like? It was full on heartbreak, loving someone in complete torment and not being able to stop despite wanting to because even though it's painful, the alternative is infinitely worse.

MB and KM's acting choices aside, these idiot showrunners have brought us to this point with their own narrative and the only logical next step is to make them canon.

Lol okay I'm done.

[shima-draws]

I'm curious, what's your thoughts on Kirito's canon characterisation? A common complaint from haters of SAO is how, in the anime, Kirito's kinda just a blank slate/Jesus-kun starting the fairy dance arc. Then there's also, like, how Alicization and MD make him more of a good sometimes and like? I want to love Kirito but he's really boring in the original bit of the anime? Idk, I kinda rambled, but yeah, what're your thoughts?

Honestly I’ve never had a real issue with it? I think it could definitely be better developed (looks at SAO Abridged which did his character arc WONDERFULLY) because there’s just a lot of things that are easy to forget about his background, but in season 2 especially he definitely felt like a more genuine and real sort of character because they gave us all of this trauma and personal shit he has to deal with so he feels less like a Mary Sue, overpowered god character with no flaws LOL

Kirito probably feels blank and kind of an ass in season 1 because he. Literally has ZERO social skills. He’s pretty much been self isolating ever since he was a kid, doesn’t have any friends in real life, and rarely ever talked to his family until after the SAO incident. He’s been doing everything solo for YEARS so naturally him being able to do all this shit on his own and seem so OP for it kinda makes sense. It’s what he’s used to! It’s what he’s been doing for ages, it’s the only thing he knows HOW to do! But through spending those two years in SAO, falling in love with Asuna, and meeting people who are like you know what you’re a dick but you’re not awful and I can tolerate you (AKA baby boy finally makes some REAL friends!), he starts to open up more and be kinder, and decides hey yeah I CAN rely on other people, I can trust other people and not shut myself away from literally everybody. This is one of his biggest character changes and yes it could have been written better but it’s THERE if you look for it. The thing with SAO is that Kirito was terrified to get close to others because he was afraid of losing them--this is especially highlighted after the whole Moonlit Black Cats situation, which is why he was a total jerk for a couple episodes, especially to people he already knew like Klein and Asuna. His logic was that if I shut everybody out and refuse to let anybody get close to me I can protect myself and protect them without worrying about them dying. Ofc eventually the power of cute girls and video game wife cracked that shield he built up and he went welp I guess it’s okay for me to have emotions and get attached to other people

If early season 1 Kirito came into ALO he’d go straight for the World Tree without asking for help and would probably refuse to let Leafa help him at all. By asking her for assistance and admitting he doesn’t have all the knowledge and skills to find his way around he’s opening himself up--giving Leafa a chance to become close with him pretty much from the get go. He did not do this before. Kiwibo is learning. I’m so proud

Season 2 slaps us in the face with the fact that Kirito’s actually a sensitive little baby that beats himself up over shit a LOT. This doesn’t go away. He killed three people! That’s traumatizing! He feels awful about it! It gets even worse in the Alicization arc after--spoiler alert--Eugeo’s death, and Kirito literally tries to kill himself out of guilt from that. So yes he does have feelings and he does torture himself over the mistakes he’s made (which definitely makes for a good character flaw), so he’s not a perfect uwu character that saves the day and doesn’t walk away unscarred from it.

Kirito’s always been a huge goofball but it takes a while for him to actually show that side of himself because in season 1 he’s an Angsty Arrogant Teenage Boy who thinks he can clear SAO solo. I think there’s also the fact that he’s still learning how to be himself and express himself openly around the rest of the group, so the first person we see him being genuinely a dork around without any sort of filters is Eugeo, which is why his dumbass energy in Alicization is plainly obvious. Remember that this kid has gone his entire life being by himself so he still doesn’t know how to act around girls! He teases and makes a fool out of himself around them because nobody ever fucking taught him how to interact with them! Kirito acts smart most of the time but deep down he’s just a lovable moron who likes video games

I rambled much longer than you did LOL sorry about that but hopefully that sheds some light on the subject;; Imo Kirito is a really complex character, it’s just that SAO’s shoddy writing makes that difficult to see. It’s gotten better in recent arcs tho--everything from GGO and beyond has done a really good job of getting deeper into his character. And if it weren’t obvious already I fucking adore Kirito so naturally I’m biased and will vote in his favor ;)

[hopes4gf]

On My Block S4

(SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!)

This is an analysis and review strictly on the Core 4!

How would i rate this final season? Probably a 7.5/10.

The first couple of episodes is rocky at first but it gets better! I’m gonna do this character by character.

Jamal: Jamal has an odd start in this season. It was unusual to see Jamal presented in almost this “bro” kind of character, but it in fact almost worked in a way that favored his character development. Especially the scene where he realizes he needs to apologize to Ruby and seeks help from Abuelita. His interactions with Abuelita were some of the best and cheesiest interactions I’ve seen and I really loved the message that was brought through him and her of “finding purpose” (even if the whole CEO tech job ending wasn’t the best).

Ruby: Ruby this season was conflicted in regards to his character development, but in a way it also worked in favor of him too. The most impactful scenes with Ruby, by far, were with Abuelita and Latrell. With Abuelita, us as an audience got to see how Abuelita and Ruby bonded and the lessons Abuelita wanted him to be taught before she could let go and pass on. (RIP Abuelita).

Monse: I honestly loved all the interaction she had with Jasmine, this allowed us to go further into who she is when she isn’t with the other guys of the show (not to say they are all bad). Also, the reoccurring conflict with her family, and figuring out her truth was impactful to me. I really and honestly wish she had stayed that independent strong figure until the end and not slept with Cesar. I honestly think after all that was said and done that they just should’ve moved on.

Cesar: Ahh yes, our broken child. Cesar’s start in this season was what made the first episodes rocky. But it completely reflects his personality also. Despite the huge backlash over Diego’s much deeper and hard headed voice, I feel like that also fit because once we as an audience saw all the pain he went through after losing Oscar and regretting not listening to him and not realizing all the sacrifice his brother made for him to survive, he finally stripped that away. And we as viewers got to see that vulnerability after so long. This is a kid who had lost his parents, his brother, and even an ex-girlfriend due to the life that he claimed loyalty to simply because he grew up in it. And after all this, his vow to continue on and carry with him the things he learned, specifically from Oscar, makes his ending very impactful. The only thing from Cesar I didn’t like that I wish the show-runners had developed further was Vero. His interactions with Vero seemed questionable and didn’t have very much context compared to the flashbacks that helped guide some other parts of his storyline.

There are sooo many amazing parts to On My Block but also some equally bad ones, which is why I have rated it as such. Please remember all my opinions are my own and you don’t exactly have to agree with me. Also why am I posting this? Idk. I was bored and wanted to express my thoughts on these characters! Also might start writing for them.

[anncanta]

‘Dracula’ and ‘Doctor Who’. Blood is testimony

Stephen Moffat is often accused of using similar plots, repeating the same plot lines, and returning to a number of his favorite ideas.

Moffat really develops a certain set of specific, quite recognizable topics, and in his different scripts, he one way or another tells similar stories.

But with his recurring motives and ideas, as, indeed, with another stuff, not everything is so simple.

First, the outstanding authors are most often accompanied by craving for certain narratives and archetypal forms, as well as cross-cutting themes. Some of this authors create ‘frames’ for these ideas in the form of multivolume novels or novel cycles, others devote wreaths of sonnets and collections of stories to their favorite topic, and others choose whole genres for reflection on issues that are important to them. I think that none of those reading this article will have any difficulties with examples.

Secondly, there are not so many really interesting stories.

And thirdly, repetitions can be different. Like any feature, it can exist on its own, or it can – if the author has a large-scale talent – become another way to tell a story like no one else do.

In Stephen Moffat's case, we are dealing with a very unique situation where the author's stories are literally read through one another.

I will make a separate reservation: I am not talking about postmodern ‘intertextuality’ – a vile definition for references and quotations that have existed in literature since the emergence of storytelling and are news only for postmodernists themselves – but about a peculiar use of certain plots and motives.

If you want, you can find a huge number of such things in Moffat's scripts. The viewers who have been closely following his work since the period when he became the showrunner of Doctor Who will immediately name a dozen of them. But I would like to dwell on one example – the newest one for today.

When the TV series Dracula by Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss was released on BBC and Netflix in 2020, some viewers noted the similarity of its style, and in some places, the plot outline, with Doctor Who, and directly called the main character of the film, Agatha Van Helsing, the female version of the Doctor.

The first is obvious, and the second is quite understandable in light of the two years earlier release (absolutely disastrous, in my opinion) of the eleventh and twelfth seasons of Doctor Who.

But the beauty of both Moffat's game and the whole story is that there`s not Agatha who is the Doctor here.

Yes, by all appearances, it is this brave, interested in science, well acquainted with evil, fighting against it and even – partly – traveling through time, the heroine who seems most suitable for the role of the Doctor in the new setting. There was a calculation for this: Moffat, during his time as the showrunner of the series, who, it seems, tried all the plot possibilities except this one, and who left on the eve of the epochal transformation of the character, it would seem, had to offer the audience his version of the female Doctor. Well, he did: on the surface. As if he said: ‘Here is a heroine with such qualities. This is how you imagine her, isn`t it? Well, get it.’

And inside this shell, as inside the unfortunate Jonathan Harker (Moffat, as a true Briton, uses materialized metaphors and often literally shows what he means), there is another story.

In order to understand it, you need to take a close look at Dracula and – at Doctor Who written by Moffat.

With Dracula everything is simple. As soon as you start looking for the main character of this film who: a) lives for several centuries; b) collects human stories; c) travels in time; d) always has one or more people next to him – you instantly find him. And if you've watched an entire episode and a half and still don't understand anything, in the middle of the second one you will hear a direct quote.

'The sophistication of a gentleman, Agatha, is always a veneer.'

'Even a gentleman like Mr. Balaur?'

'Mr. Who?'

But that's just one detail.

A deeper level opens if you try to read Dracula through Doctor Who itself.

In the Christmas special Twice upon a time, which ends the last season, written by Stephen Moffat, the plot is centered on the Doctor's encounter with strange creatures, as if made of glass, which are living vaults of memory. The episode itself is full of layered ideas and references. But for us now only one dimension is important.

At the very end of the special, the Doctor addresses the glass creatures with an ardent speech – one of those that he loves so much.

‘You're just memories, held in glass. Do you know how many of you I could fill? I would shatter you. My testimony would shatter all of you. A life this long, do you understand what it is? It's a battlefield. And it's empty. Because everyone else has fallen.’

Does this remind you of anything?

It seems to me that this is a literal description of what is happening with Dracula.

What he says throughout the film, and what Agatha did not understand even at the end, because in order to understand this, you had to live his life.

And in order to understand this whole context, you need to understand that the Doctor was never a good guy. He always said this to everyone but no one believed him.

No one believed the stories of the horror before which entire civilizations tremble, about a creature that destroyed its entire species in order to stop the most destructive war in history, about the person who does not need weapons so that the captains of warships flocked from the most distant corners of the Universe, after listening to him for a couple of minutes, ran away without looking back.

The Doctor was never a good guy, but just as important, he always knew it. For the Doctor of Russell T. Davis, this position looks like a fact with which neither the character himself nor the people around him and aliens are very inclined to interact. I guess it’s a matter of Davis’ very outlook on the story and perhaps his own worldview.

But the Doctor of Moffat is a hero who lives with this knowledge and with the impossibility of passing this knowledge on to others.

Because the Doctor is always the one they are waiting for, the one they go to for advice, the one with whom they travel around the Universe, the one who opens the door to the magical world, the one they hope for.

He is never the one who sits on the roof of the TARDIS, surrounded by the loneliness of the starry sky. Not someone who lives longer than any human being, not someone who knows what it means to make monstrous decisions in circumstances that most of us cannot imagine.

And the one in whom there is so much testimony that it is able to break the vessel that they will try to fill with.

In Dracula, all these details, motives, and meanings are repeated sequentially.

The most obvious is ‘blood is testimony’. This is not self-quotation, as it might seem, but a literal proposal of the author to look in a certain direction.

The blood in Dracula is not only memory. It's also a way to watch. And to see a bright and diverse world, which otherwise would have become boring long ago.

In the fifth season of Doctor Who, there is a moment when Eleventh says to Amy Pond, ‘You don't understand. I have the whole Universe in my backyard. I'm used to it. I don’t notice it. But when you appear, I look with your eyes. And it becomes a miracle again.’*

In this sense, the ‘brides’ and everyone that Dracula ate are in some way his companions. If you remember what a great sense of guilt towards most of his companions the Doctor felt and how some of them ended up, the comparison turns out to be not so poor.

Dracula, like the Doctor, has companions with whom he has a very special relationship that he cannot explain to himself. He travels through time and space, discovering one day that all human experience is stored and cataloged somewhere in his head, and there is nothing new.

And – as is often the case in Moffat's stories – here one character completes and harmoniously implements a theme started by another.

If the Doctor, being who he is, and fully aware of this, tormented by endless insatiable loneliness and memories of life as an empty battlefield, invariably continues the path that seems to him more and more meaningless, then Dracula decided to end the life like that.

And all this, the whole story, is organized as a transition, as a movement forward and backward in time, which unites and brings to life what is dissolved, inherent, basically exists, and ‘spilled’ in blood. The blood here is also the same as the space in the Doctor Who, it is the Universe, which belongs to everyone and flows inside everyone, and inside which everyone exists, and which determines everyone. In order for blood to become an individuality, it takes time, a specific moment at which each specific individuality comes to the surface. So, for example, the return of Agatha takes place. There must be something she wants to come back for. Like the TARDIS, blood is always within us and speaks through us. In the case of Dracula and Agatha, this is their bond, their love for each other. Even if this love is unaware, – sometimes the TARDIS acts on her own and travels wherever she wants, forcing the Doctor and his companions to act in the circumstances she suggests.

And all this, this whole context, the whole story, with all its dimensions and additional meanings, became possible only due to the fact that Stephen Moffat, the author of both series, is not afraid to describe ambiguous heroes, to reflect out loud on their adventures, and – sometimes – to repeat.

* The words of Eleventh quoted from memory.

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - The Way of the Willow

Now here’s a controversial episode from season one. Let’s delve into the discourse, shall we. 

Summary:  It's Queen Arianna's birthday, and she receives an unexpected guest: her estranged sister, Willow. Willow and Rapunzel quickly bond, sharing a lot of the same personality traits (most notably them never wearing shoes), and Arianna feels a bit left out. To add to her aggravation, Willow has given her a pet with an annoying rattle. Eventually, Arianna explodes at her sister, letting her know her irritation with her and throws away the rattle. The pet starts to multiply and rampage over the countryside. Meanwhile, Lance and Eugene  take the King camping. 

More Filler, More Poor Pacing, More Fatigue 

This is yet another episode that was moved around. Noticing a pattern yet? It doesn’t effect the plot much, but it kills the pacing dead. By the time you get to this episode you’re just tired and bored and ready for the show to just get on with things. 

Let's Talk About Representation 

So we have here a show that is marketed towards pre-teen little girls run by two middle aged white guys and written primarily by men. The creators have claimed that female relationships are the focus of the show, but only to give us one female friend for our main hero, no other friendships with women in them, just two sister relationships, and only one mother that is even alive. 

Furthermore they go on to break up that single female friendship, refuse to give any focus to the only mother in the show, and then wrap the plot around the dead abusive mom instead, making her unnecessarily even more horrible than she was in the OG film. (just to make the equally abusive father in the show look better)

Meanwhile we get four father figures, all of whom are just some variant on the ‘overprotective estranged dad’ trope. Even though at least two of them could have been easily written to be mothers instead and it’d not change the plot one bit.   

When women talk about about poor representation in media, it’s things like this we are often complaining about. That’s not to say that men can’t write women.  Miyazaki, of Studio Ghibli fame, has made a lifelong career out writing movies for and starring women. Nor is this a claim that the TTS crew are misogynist. You can be well intentioned and still screw up. As is most often the case in films. 

But nevertheless, if you are writing for a demographic that you are not a part of then you need to either include those voices in the development of your story or reach out and consult people within that demographic. And no, you’re wife/niece/daughter/mother does not count here. You need to go beyond your personal social circle, as people who either don’t know you or have worked in the industry can be more open about what is needed in the writing process.  

Sadly there are rumors, (and please keep in mind this is only rumor, and we’ll never know the actual truth due to the fact that production artists are under contract and can’t share things without fearing for their livelihoods) but there are stories of the head showrunner shutting down the opinions of the female storyboard artists who warned him of some these creative decisions. 

Moreover said creator responded to criticisms of how his female characters were written by claiming he ‘knew strong women in his life’ as if that actually had anything to do with his writing skills. It’s a poor response and smacks of ‘Well I can’t be misogynistic, I love women. See, I married one’. Dear, male creators, please don't ever do this. It makes you look bad. 

So Where are Arianna and Willow From, Again?

The show keeps dropping hints that they’re from Corona itself and are born princesses, but that makes little sense. Because if Arianna was the rightful heir she’d have far more political power then she actually does in the show. If we’re to buy the idea that only Rapunzel will be in charge, and not her and Eugene, or even just Eugene. Then we have to accept that it’s because she’s the rightful heir by birth. If so, then Frederic must also be the blood heir or otherwise he wouldn’t be able to do all the things he does in the show. 

TTS is so determine to not have any real world markers in the show and keeping things a ‘fantasy’ that it winds up swinging too far in the opposite direction. To the point that it undermines its own worldbuilding.     

The Conflict Between Willow and Arianna is Good, but Unnecessary 

I’ve seen some debate over ‘who is right’ here, along with tons of unwarranted shade thrown at Willow, but the truth is, it doesn’t matter. Neither side is right or wrong, and for once the conflict in TTS is real, complex, not easily solvable with a ten minute conversation, and is presented evenly so that you know where each side is coming from. But in the end, it doesn’t add anything to the series. 

Willow is never seen outside of this episode. This is the only story that gives Arianna any kind of focus. Rapunzel learns nothing useful from witnessing their squabbles and it’s all build up to a be bad parable/parallel in the series finale. 

It’s a waste. A waste of conflict. A waste of character. A waste of time. 

Had Arianna been treated as an important character to the narrative, like she should have been, then maybe the episode would have fared better. 

Arianna is Reduced to a Pointless Parallel

We talked about it before but this might be the most grievous example of Tangled’s useless parallels.

Willow and Arianna are meant to be ‘foreshadowing’ (and I use that term loosely) for Rapunzel and Cassandra’s conflict in the finale season. Let me count the ways of how bad this actually is..

For starters Willows and Arianna’s conflit isn’t actually the same as Raps and Cass. There’s some overlap, but ultimately theirs is actually deeper and more complex than the Raps vs Cass stuff. It’s also only between them and does not involve ruining the lives of other people. So it’s a weak comparison to begin with.

Cassandra isn’t even here to make the parallel complete. She barely interacts with Arianna and has never met Willow on screen.

Rapunzel learns the wrong lessons from this. She gets encouragement from her aunt to go traveling and a pep talk from her mom during the show’s finale, but she doesn’t actually apply any of the actual context of the arguments being made to her own life. Making the parallel shallow.

Reducing a character from the original film, one that you did not create and who has reasons to be have more plot importance then they are given, to a mere ‘parallel’ for your favorite OC is just bad fanfiction. This is something that I would expect from a seven year old setting out to write their first ever story. Not from grown adults, who are supposedly professionals, who've worked for years in the industry and are employed by the largest entertainment studio in the world.

Now before you jump down my throat, there’s nothing wrong with fanfiction itself, nor with children exploring their favorite stories in ways they find personally fulfilling. But I happen to hold mass produced media to a different, and ultimately higher standard. As well should we all. A television show made by the mouse has more real world impact than a little girl posting on Ao3.

Critiquing stuff like female representation, the behind the scenes hiring processes that leads to either good or bad rep, and the impression these stories can have on people still developing their worldviews is important. Questioning things are needed in order to make change happen. If you never acknowledge how giving a show targeted to women to a male showrunner can cause problems then you’re never going to push the big companies for more female lead shows. Which means more women are left without work.    

This is Subjective but...

I don’t like the Uumlaut being used as the main conflict. Look, if you like the Gremlins references, good for you, but I was promised sword fights and adventure according to the pilot and all I got was a parody of a 80s horror comedy that decided to skip out on the ‘horror’ part. The Uumlaut isn’t threatening enough to be interesting and the lack of real threats and challenges in this show is really starting to weigh things down. Plus it just distracts from the far more interesting human drama going on with Willow and Arianna. 

Like if you don't want action to be the focus of every episode, that’s fine, but commit to that. Don't just half-ass it because you feel the need to shoehorn in an action sequence where it isn’t needed.    

Conclusion

I like Willow as a character, but not this episode. They needed to do more with her to justify her existence, and they needed to do more with Arianna while at it. Sadly, you won't really miss out on much if you decided to skip this episode and that’s a shame. 

Also... 

I’ll forever headcanon that Willow is the wife that Stan mentioned back in Rapunzel’s Enemy and that she’s his and Pete’s beard. You can’t change my mind. Poly relationships for the win! 

[animethings]

Reasons to Watch Long Anime Series

An original post documenting all the reasons to watch long anime series. A long anime series can depend on your own definition. It can be 50+, 500+, or in my case, 980+. I was inspired to create this post by my frustration of trying to convince a friend to start Detective Conan and failing because he is stubborn with his views. I couldn’t even convince him to watch FMA:B or HxH ):

This list is not in any particular order. Blockquotes represent the excuses for not wanting to watch long anime series. The comment below it represents the reasons to watch long anime series and my response to the excuse.

My comments may be negative, condescending, and cynical. It is only because I love the anime franchises of Detective Conan, Fullmetal Alchemist, Hunter x Hunter, Bleach, etc. And even though I haven’t completed many of the popular long anime series, I respect D. Gray-Man, Gintama, One Piece, Fairy Tail, Pokemon, Dragon Ball, Reborn !, and many others.

If I have offended you, it was never my intention. If I hurt your feelings, I never meant to. If you disagree with my reasons and find fault in them, consider my viewpoints and then send me a response. If I come off as ignorant, politely inform me. If I bashed your favourite anime or character, it was only an example. If I haven’t defended your favourite anime or character, oops. If I repeat myself, it is because the excuses are similar. If you have another excuse / reason, let me know and I’ll add it here.

It’s too long.

Imagine if your favourite seasonal anime went with a perennial episodic structure rather than a seasonal one. Would you still have started it ? A seasonal structure is more profitable and less risky to studios and can be just as many episodes as anime with a perennial episodic structure. It depends on the studio and scriptwriters.

Anime TV series are usually split up into many seasons. Treat the anime like you’re watching the entire series as separately released seasons and not one singular continuous season. Example: Blue Exorcist has 2 seasons and is listed separately on anime databases while D. Gray-Man is listed as a single entry with many episodes even though it has 5 seasons. Why do you insist on watching Blue Exorcist instead of D. Gray-Man when the genres are similar and they are both mainly about exorcists fighting demons to keep the world a safer place ? Maybe you’re more into the plot, or maybe the animation is better, or maybe you’re unwilling to watch an anime that isn’t listed as multiple seasons, or maybe you’re just intimidated by the number of episodes and seasons. Whatever the reason is, don’t judge an anime by the amount of episodes it has. Don’t judge an anime franchise by whether it is of a perennial or a seasonal episodic structure.

I can watch 5 other anime instead of just this one.

True, you could watch multiple 12 ep anime instead of one long anime, but would it be memorable ? If you binge a 12 ep anime, each around 20 min long ( excluding openings and endings ), at 1x speed, that is 240 min, which is 4 hours. After those 4 hours, you would be like wow great anime 10/10 or whatever rating you give. Maybe give a review or recommendation. Then, you’d move on to the next anime. If the anime didn’t leave a lasting impression on you, what was the point ? Just to say that you’ve seen it and vaguely remember the plot and your opinion on it the next time that particular anime is brought up in conversation ?

Although being held emotionally hostage is tough and terrifying, a long anime would leave a greater impression. You can witness character growth / development, plot progression, and many other storytelling elements at a much greater level. Maybe you don’t have all the time in the world to watch 100+ episodes of an anime. But you can also come back time and time again with fresh perspectives instead of force-feeding shorter anime in a day.

Yes, this is a hypothetical, and may not apply to everyone. I am only asking for you to consider that situation and my perspective; you do not have to agree with it.

I’ll get bored

The other fans of the franchise didn’t get bored. If the anime has become increasingly boring, then put it on hold. I acknowledge the fact that sometimes the animators / creators will run out of stories to tell. If it’s not your cup of tea, then by all means, drop it. You can come back whenever you want to give the anime a try again. 

I don’t want to watch a lot then quit.

No one is forcing you to quit the anime entirely. There is no pressure to watch every single episode. You can put it on hold and come back later. An indefinite drop can be reversed.

What if the anime becomes increasingly worst, unwatchable, annoying, etc. over time ?

If it does become that before you hit the latest episode, then put it on hold, drop it, or talk with your friends / the anime community about it and ask if the series gets better later on. If you are already caught up and think that the anime has decreased in quality, put it on hold or drop it.

I’ll watch too much at a time, get burnt out, and not come back to it

No one is forcing you to binge watch every single episode in a certain timeframe. You can always take a break or watch a few and come back later.

What if I don’t like the main cast or find one of them annoying ? I would have to stick with them for the rest of the anime.

Then put it on hold, drop it, or deal with it. As of 06 September 2020, I am on episode 44 of One Piece and I find Usopp absolutely annoying and unlikable. However, I have been told that he gets better. So, I continue the series because I like the other main cast and am invested in the story and the world of One Piece. Additionally, I’ve been reading the Black Clover manga way before the anime released and imagined Asta’s voice differently. I got used to his annoying voice over time and still continue the anime because I love the story and I want to see who eventually becomes the Wizard King. ( His voice also haunts me when I read the manga now )

Too many filler / fluff episodes

Google >> ( Anime ) non-filler episodes >> Watch according to that list

Also, I do not find filler episodes to be boring or straying away from the main plot. Filler episodes provide me with more interactions between the characters that regular anime ( with 12 or 24 episodes ) don’t have. Although it may seem unnecessary to some, filler flashbacks gives the audience a deeper insight into a character’s backstory, childhood, past experiences, traumatic experiences, etc. It can show character growth or development. The adventures to other areas expands the universe of the anime and leads to more world-building. The stories and possibilities are also limitless in comedy anime. Filler episodes can also introduce more aspects of Japanese culture ( or whatever the culture is prevalent ) and introduces new information.

Fillers between arcs are nice since most are slice-of-life types and setting up for the next arc. If you think that each arc is the same where there is a threat / enemy and they must defeat the final boss or everyone will die, yes that’s the basic formula. But keep in mind that it is a story after all. The arc is a larger story with the same characters doing different things to solve their problems. So what ? Some series are known for their consistencies and some for their randomness. Just like how almost every Detective Conan episode ( DC doesn’t have arcs unless it’s about the main plot ) is about solving cases and follows the same basic formula, and almost every episode of The Disastrous Life of Saiki K is random, spontaneous and full of comedy. I don’t watch shoujo anime as often so I won’t comment on that.

There are also many other reasons that fluff episodes are great. You don’t always have to watch them, and the wait may not always be worth it, but you can always skip them and not miss anything. But then again, Detective Conan was my first anime and I’ve learned how to be patient with an extremely slow plot. My patience is especially challenged whenever a new episode releases and it is a TV original Detective Boys episode ((:

While some shows are known to stretch plots into more episodes, those episodes may not be of the same “ quality ” as the rest of the show. This may included tropes, overused jokes, etc. It is still considered additional content, even if the quality suffers. This is usually the case when the anime catches up to the source material. You can always read the manga.

Filler / Fluff episodes are always controversial and I generally don’t mind them.

What if the anime cancels and all of the time I spent watching it has been a waste ?

Long anime series are rarely ever canceled because it’s a popular show. The anime usually tries to catch up with the manga and / or ends when the story ends. If the anime does end at a particular arc, there is always the manga. Also, if you had fun / a good time watching the show, then it wasn’t a waste.

I don’t want to.

Why ? Elaborate. Do you not like the genre ? The plot ? The animation style ? The studio ? The reviews ? The popularity ? The year it was released ? The fandom ? The voice actors ? The over-hype ? The pressure from friends, family, the anime community ? The memes ? What is it ?

It’s a waste of time.

The time investment is usually worth it because there is more to watch. Whenever I watch regular anime with 12 or 24 episodes, I usually end up feeling empty and wanting more. Who doesn’t want more content, scenes and character interactions ? If you enjoy something, then it wasn’t a waste of time.

Too many characters

Google >> ( Anime ) Characters Wiki / Fandom

You don’t have to know and remember every single character, their backstories, their interests / dislikes, their relationships with others, etc. to enjoy the episode. Additionally, if you really do pay attention to the series and is more invested, character deaths / losses will be even more impactful and significant. Characters can die easily ( like in Attack on Titan), but it doesn’t make their death any less important. Lives, fictional or not, have value and meaning. If in a war, 100 lives are lost, those lives are important in itself becau- oh that is probably a post for another time. Anyways, you don’t need to know everyone to understand or enjoy an episode or an anime series. 

Quantity isn’t everything.

True. Sometimes the quality of animation rules over everything else, or maybe the plot pacing, or the character progression ( or the lack of it ), or something else. I’m not saying, WATCH ALL ANIME THAT IS OVER 100+ EPISODES BECAUSE THEY’RE BETTER. I’m saying to give them a chance. They’ve stood against the test of time, the changing audience, popular demand and culture, and other obstacles to get where they are today. Some are classics ( such as Naruto ) and some are beginning to / have hit the 100 episode mark of single entry anime ( like Black Clover ). Quantity isn’t everything is a valid point as well as quality isn’t everything. You enjoy what you enjoy. It’s never a waste to commit to something longer than what you usually watch if you enjoy it.

I want to finish everything I watch, regardless if it’s good or bad.

So you can sit through 12 episodes of a “ bad ” anime but not try out a single episode of a potentially “ good ” anime ?

Other Reasons to Watch:

When a long series ends, I can finally rest in peace.

Soundtracks + More opening and closing themes

Nostalgia once it ends

Seeing an anime from 1996 to 2020+ and the changes it goes through ( when rewatching or watching for the first time ) is astounding and shows how much the industry has changed and developed over time.

Conclusions + Repeated Statements

Main excuse for not watching long anime: It’s too long

Main response: No one is forcing you or pressuring you to binge watch everything. You can always put it on hold or drop it if you don’t like it.

Don’t judge an anime by the number of episodes.

If you had a good time, it wasn’t a waste.

[userdokja]

Not from around here | Kylo Ren x Reader. || Eight.

Summary: Reader is from earth, living a normal boring life. What happens if one day she randomly teleports and ends up in space, with people who had laser swords and troops who can’t shoot in the right direction? And then meets a very handsome man?

Warnings: Curse words, My Writing and Grammar. 

Prologue || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six ||Seven

Masterlist

----

You woke up in the middle of the night because the girl decided to show up again. You tried to pretend that you were still asleep even if you knew that she knows you're very much awake.

"Look," she started. "I don't need you to answer back, just listen to my intentions, please. I can feel the light strong in you, and I don't want Kylo to take that away like Snoke did with him... I tried to take Ben back, at first I thought I could but there's always something keeping everyone from doing so."

She paused for a moment, thinking of the next words she's about to say. "I don't want to give up on him, and I figured that If I can help you then maybe we can help him together, bring him back to the light."

"How long did you try?" You asked her, she kept her mouth shut. "Not long? I guess you shut him out completely after that too?"

You sat up to look at her, "Rey, I know you have good intentions but you can't change a person so easily, in fact people don't really change at all, people loose their way all the time and so easily, but guiding them back will always take time."

"Then what do you want me to do? Wait until he destroys the rest of what's left in the resistance and wait for him to realize what he's done and come back?!" She raised her voice, her eyebrows were curled together and she grew more irritated.

"What you said just made me realize that you want to save the resistance, not Ben Solo." You said, her eyes widened and her lips parted but nothing came out, realization hit her but the everything was cut off before she could even explain.

You lied down on your bed again and tugged the blanked to cover your shoulders, you closed your eyes but your sleepiness was long gone. You groaned in annoyance and decided to get out of your room.

----

You put together random snacks for yourself, and scrolled through your phone for something to watch it took you a while to find something but you ended up with 'The Good Place.' anyways, you were halfway through the first episode when someone spoke behind you.

"Why are you still up?" The drink in your hand splashed everywhere when you flinched, you turned around and saw Kylo behind you.

"I just woke up and then realized I was hungry, so..." You lied, "Why are you awake?"

"Uh.. same thing?" He scrunched up his nose and walked closer to sit beside you on the floor.

"Well, I'm glad I'm not alone." You smirked at him, "here, have some."

You handed him the tray of snacks, he studied the whole thing before finally picking up a chip. "What're you watching?"

"A new show, wanna watch with me?" He nodded, you rewind the whole thing from the start. Since you have watched most of it you spent the whole time stealing glances at him as he remained focused on your phone.

"Is there something on my face? Why are you staring at me?" He turned his head to look at you with furrowed eyebrows, your cheeks heated up when you realized that your small glances turned into a full on creepy stare.

"N-no, you're perfect- I mean there's nothing on your face don't worry." You gave him a nervous smile before turning your head away from him in embarrassment, you didn't know what was happening to you but it definitely felt like a high school crush.

You went back on watching the show hoping that Kylo had forgotten the fact that you literally called him 'perfect.' even you cringed at yourself by just thinking of it.

"You're the Chidi I'm the Eleanor." He mumbled as you finished the fifth episode, you laughed at his comment.

"What? I don't remember teaching you ethics and all that kind of stuff." You joked, he gave you a small smile back.

"But you're making me... Better." Your face softened when he said that, your remember what Rey said about helping each other bring him back. "You're looking at me weird again."

"I'm sorry it's just you're-"

"It's fine." He cut you off, "What I meant by better was that I've never felt comfortable with anyone before until you suddenly appeared out of nowhere."

"Is that a compliment? Are you turning soft on me? What happened to 'The force is strong with you, we'll rule the whole galaxy! mwahahaha!'". You mimicked his deep voice when you quoted him.

"Do you like me like that?"

"I like you for you."

----

You both ended up falling asleep, but it wasn't the normal head on each other's shoulders like one of those rom-coms, Kylo's face was resting on the pillow he was hugging and your head was on the sofa, you were both still sitting on the floor but you were too tired to be uncomfortable.

When morning came, Kylo woke up first, he was about to wake you but your mother stopped him.

"Don't wake her this early, she'll yell at you and be in a bad mood all day." She warned him, Kylo just nodded and stood up from the floor taking the empty tray with him when he walked to the kitchen.

"Is she going to be alright on the floor?" He asked your mother.

"Probably not." Kylo sighed and lifted you up to place you on the couch, creating a barrier with the pillow so you won't fall off. "I'm glad you're here to help me take care of her, you don't know how stubborn she is."

"... I think I do." He mumbled to himself,  his mind wandering to your training back at his world. He went to help your mother to prepare breakfast, she told him that she had to leave soon for work so he'd be the one watching over you.

Kylo had just placed the food on the plate when he heard a small thud, he rushed to the living room immediately to see what happened and he what he saw was you on the ground with shock on your face.

"Uh.." You pushed yourself up and tried to fix yourself, "Good morning?"

"I'm glad you're up." Kylo said to you before retreating back to the kitchen to put the plates on the table.

"I see you learned how to cook already?" You followed him and raised your brows.

"You mother did most of the things, I just put everything together." He explained, and sat down on the dining table, you copied his actions and you both started eating.

An uncomfortable silence grew, and only the sound of your spoons and forks hitting the plate were heard. The though of bring Kylo back to the light invaded your mind, you didn't know if you should do it, was it a good thing? light is always good, right?

But what did you know about it? Did you even learn enough from just reading?

Your eyes met Kylo and you cleared your throat before looking away.

"What're you thinking about?" He asked.

"I just-" you tried to decide if you should tell him or not but your mouth acted faster than your mind did. "I- I talked to.. the girl?"

"What girl?" His voice suddenly grew deeper in interest.

"You know... Rey?" You looked at him awkwardly, "through the force."

"But the force doesn't work here." He stated.

"I know, maybe it's because of my abilities? I'm some kind of-"

"-bridge." He finished for you, "My.. mother used to tell me a story about them, a person who connects all the universes, I didn't think it was going to be you."

"What do you mean it you didn't think it was me? I told you about it a lot of times, you even asked me questions about it." You dropped your spoon and fork on the plate and glared at him.

"Let's just say i thought it was your... Imagination?" He said lowly as if he was afraid to say it. "But I believe you now, after all this.."

"Yeah, riiighhht." You scoffed before starting to eat again. The both of you didn't really want to talk about it again so you just started another conversation a few moments later.

"You've never really seen how it is outside, do you want to walk around later?" You offered him.

"Of course." He answered.

When you finished your meal you told him to take a shower and change his clothes before you leave. And when you did, you both walked around the block, it also felt like a tour for you since it's been a while since you came back here.

You met by some people who was close to your mother, you just greeted them and continued to walk, not really wanting to chat.

You passed by the park you used to play on when you were a kid, this was where you met your now- distant best friend, your mother brought you here after school when you were young hoping that it would help you interact with people.

You and Kylo sat on the bench and watched the children play.

"Everyone's so peaceful here, and happy." He said beside you.

"Kylo?" You called for his attention. "Have you ever thought about returning to your mother?"

"Even if I wanted to, I can't. I've done horrible things, but I found my own way in the dark side, and it welcomed me." He turned his head away to look at the people again.

"Why isn't there a neutral side? Like from the show we watched last night? Where you're just somewhere in the middle. Not good not bad, just right."

"There are Gray Jedi-" you cut him off.

"No, there will be no such thing as Jedi or Sith or whatever.. You'll just be a force user out of the fight, just living like this." You motioned to the people.

"It's suburban yet it's still happy." You looked at Kylo with seriousness in your eyes. "Why can't we just stay?"

----

This book doesn't have proper angst yet so watch out (☞ ಠ_ಠ)☞

Permanent Tags: @aintnouseofpretending @just4muggles @heartbeats-wildly @lookinsidemyhead  @katiegoddessofmischief

Star Wars Tags: @melcutie @jxhn-mxrphy

Series Tags: @i-just-wanna-run-hell @treestarrrrrrrr @rintheemolion @pan-lokistan @petalduck @mintchip17 @drawlfoy @channna

Kylo Ren/ Ben Solo Tags:  @dark-night-sky-99 @souriemickey

[little-shiny-sharpies]

2, 5 and 12 with blitzwing 👀 and 7 for mccree! (@robotlover)

@selfshippinglover

Ok I'm gonna make a separate post for Mccree later bc theres a lot and I'm just gonna do a few with him. Thank y'all for waiting on this!

1) what’s a Hot Take you have about your f/o?

Blitzwing would absolutely hesitate to love someone because he has self esteem issues and everyone always throws that out the window when writing him in a romantic scenario. Only when he's the character that's gotta be uwu depressed and romanticizing it is anyone noticing that. This bot has gone through a horror show and he would feel like a burden to whoever he has feelings for because he's just the crazy triple changer that no one respects or likes.

2) on what do you disagree with other fans of your f/o?

Ok this is a bit lemony for my blog but Blitzwing isn't a sex crazed power top and y'all need to get that through your minds, he's Ace or Demi. Yes I'm projecting but I'm still right bc giant alien robots canon don't have that "equipment" boo me all you want I'm still right.

3) did you used to ship your f/o with anyone before realizing you wanted to ship them with yourself? 

No actually! I have honestly never actually like.. shipped characters that weren't cannon. I've rarely liked romance in media. I have faint memories of shipping Fluttercord though..

4) do you feel like you have to defend your f/o all the time? 

I feel like most folks project so much onto him theres nothing left but on the other end there's folks who just made the stupidest things of how he's an uwu feral boi and I wanna yell underwater. There are a few things I agree with fanon about but those are very few things.

5) what’s the dumbest thing you’ve heard about your f/o, either on the internet or irl? 

The dumbest thing I've seen in canon and fannon is that he's an idiot. That just doesn't make sense?? He's shown to be a really smart guy in his first episodes even getting Ratchet into a chokehold forcing the autobots into a standstill until Megs calls him off. (Idiot move there boi)

6) what are some tropes that fan art of your f/o tends to follow? 

That his "personalities" have separate bodies and bicker with each other. Which.. doesn't really make sense. If anything he'd be happy to have someone who understands him.

7) did your f/o deserve better?

He got used in an experiment that caused him severe psychological trauma and we don't even know if he was a willing patient. He was a deadly opponent in the first season that got nerfed into a henchman buffoon and shit talked anytime someone brought him up. My man was treated as a trophy in his final scenes to further the political career of an authoritarian xenophobic jerkwad. My mans deserved so much better..

8) do you even like the source your f/o comes from or do you only watch it for them & nothing else?

Oh I absolutely love Transformers animated!! It has such a unique personality compared to other iterations and it has the smartest megatron. Its also the show that got me into transformers (other than the first bay movies which I like much less)

9) do you distance yourself from other fans of your f/o or their source?

In the beginning? No. I was completely fine with all the weird fannon interpretation and ships (and we'll fucking get to that) but I didn't think about it. Nowadays I stay away from anybody that draws blitzwing because if I go to their blog to see more, it turns out they've got 20 other posts tagged as bli***ee or interact with those who do or don't bother tagging ns//fw things

10) how did you feel when you realized “oh of course i had to like That Character”?

(Ok so I didn't really understand this one so I kinda gave 2 answers)

It was when I realized that he had the same emotional issues as me. Having BPD and living with folks with BPD is quite a rollercoaster but I saw so much of me in blitzwing I just wanted to be his friend at first and chill and then the emotions got so much deeper and now I've made fankids and we're happily married ksjdaksj.

But when I realized that he had the traits of the 3 main tumblr sexymen I had a "oh no, people are gonna be weird about him aren't they?.." moment but my heart was set anyway.

11) do you think it’s better to have a copious amount of content for your f/o, even with the risk of finding a lot of ship art, or better to have a lot less?

Oh god this is a tricky one because either 1 when the art isn't a ship and just him he's looking sad or bored or he's insane and never a nice wholesome happy or 2 its ship art. So uh ima say quality over quantity.

12) aren’t you tired of being nice? this is an excuse to rant.

LET'S FUCKING GOOOO!! Listen. LISTEN. I get loving Blitzwing. I fully get it. I also understand having a childhood crush on Bumblebee. Because I had that, as a *child*. Because Bumblebee behaved like a child. Because as a child. I enjoyed his antics. See where I'm going here? It's not that I don't like seeing Blitzwing shipped with other characters! Its really not! It squicks me a bit but it's totally ok! It's the fact that it's with a character who's supposed to be a little brother to the bots and the same age as Sari! Really any ship with Bumblebee or Sari feels very fucking *Yikes*. Not to mention the fact that it's always painted Blitzwing as someone to be fixed, someone who needs to change who they are to fit the wants of someone who showed them the slightest iota of kindness that he's so desperate for and that said person is an irresponsible child that could rival Blue from Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends, or it treats him like a beast that should be controlled by said child. It feels so ableist at best and pedophilia at worst and I'm so upset that more folks don't see it.

(Also want to add that the person who popularized the ship is known to draw porn of underage characters. Ya'll really love rose glasses to hide those red flags for the sake of "good" art huh?)

[whencallstheheart]

Mid-Season 7 Survey Results

You’ll find the responses to the 2 short answer questions under the cut.  Apparently you guys aren’t into the love triangle.  What a surprise!

What would you like to see more of this season? -

Lucas and Elizabeth

More friendships ans less if that stupid love triangle. I'm done with it.

Jack return

More serious plot lines, less filler plot lines that are just boring

The triangle to be over. Decide who stole your heart.

More Lucas and less of boring Nathan. I would love it if both Nathan & Allie left the show. Both have ruined the show for me. I am about to start recording the show, so I can fast forward their scenes. That is something I rarely do for any show.

Jesse and Clara. Lucas and his past. Lucas and Elizabeth.

I’d like to see more Henry, and less love triangle! I’d also love more about Lee and Rosemary starting a family, and Jesse and Clara settling into married life.

More townspeople stories other than the triangle. There are so many stories to tell. I’d also like to see a pastor again. I miss the services, etc

More Elizabeth story lines independent of Nathan and Lucas

More of Lucas and Elizabeth of course ? They are just so perfect. I love them because...he shakes things up for her, but he isn't to wild or not caring and solid enough for her. It's just perfection lol

The other kids

Lucas

Lucas and Elizabeth romantic scenes!

Lucas and Elizabeth getting together by the end of the season.

yes

More girls fun, like the bachelorette party, I was hoping to see more of that in the last episode. But the mixing of the two parties in the end was kind of a fitting ending. And more teacher/classroom moments

Rosemary! Florence and Fiona’s friendship. Meaningful plot lines for the whole town and characters who are not paired off.

Lee and rosemary

Baby Jack! Those twins and how they interact with the cast are priceless and adorable and sweet!

Lucas and Nathan friendship

Better story lines for Bill and Henry

Elizabeth in the classroom.

I'd like to see more good writing ;)

Opal

Lucas

something interesting apart form the triangle like, idk really just something interresting.

Nathan and Elizabeth

Elizabeth and Lucas together courting and starting a life together

Not sure

The triangle over sooner rather than later :)

Romance, more Mountie investigations, Elizabeth’s choice

Nathan actually being a mountie, the library kinda has disappeared, so maybe more of that, some storylines that aren't striclty connected to romance. And also more bonding amongst the boys, the bachelor party was super awkward and not because of Lee, because we've never seen them interact with each other before, Nathan only talked with Bill, Lucas only talked with Henry and barely Lee. The girls have lot more scenes together about other stuff then them. I can't believe I'm saying this, but it seems like they are using the guys just as romance ploys XD

Henry fall in love

A little more drama. This series has had a lot of fun and the triangle have taken a lot of screen time. I would like to see more balance.

Carson & Faith

Deeper character exploration

more fiona/henry interaction. More interesting plot that would overshadowed the love triangle. Also Nathan/lucas....what Girl can dream...

Lucas and his past in more details. Gowen finding a woman

Henry Gowen!

I want more meaningful drama. To me the plots are resolved to fast. It feels like they rushing every moments.

I would love to see a plotline pick up speed. I DO NOT want this love triangle drawn out for 2 o more seasons

Nathan's mountie work

More of Lucas and Baby Jack!

I want Bill-centered stories that have nothing to do with any of his jobs...also I want to know more about Fiona

More Lucas and Elizabeth scenes and more students besides Allie. Seems like we’ve had a lot about her and haven’t really seen the other students much.

More of Elizabeth with her students, teaching and like the opal scene we had where she read to her!

henry/abigail but if not then henry

Lucas in casual clothing

More Nathan and Elizabeth moments with little Jack and Allie!

Henry and Elizabeth scenes

Better writing

Rosemary and Lee

More Elizabeth and Rosemary friendship

community problems

The coulters

BETTER and more INTERESTING writing!!! Please

Lee and Rosemary dealing with infertility.

More of Florence and Molly! Theyre useless right now, tbh.

More of Rosie and Lee! And Henry!

Elizabeth with the children

clear communication instead of romantic hints PLZ haha

Elizabeth and Lucas together

I would like to see Nathan do more Mounty stuff. More scenes with Henry.

More of Lucas and Elizabeth romantic moments together. Rosemary is pregnant . Maybe a scene of Elizabeth telling baby jack about his father and that he is always with them. Elizabeth and Lucas kiss.

More of Henry storyline . Maybe a love interest for him. More Elizabeth and Lucas moments. I think they have great chemistry and really hope they end up together. The Mountie storyline is dry and already been done. I don’t think it will happen this season but fingers crossed for Lucas and Elizabeth kiss. Even a kiss on the check would be really nice. Also more of baby jack.

Lee and Rosemary

Lee and Rosemary in a serious argument, Rosemary meeting a friend Lee doesn't like, the women of Hope Valley doing more together, Henry finally not being looked down on/frowned upon.

Rosemary and Lee

More of the Hope Valley kids! There’s been very few scenes with any kids besides Allie.

The growth of Elizabeth and Lucas's relationship. I'd like for them to explore their feelings and eventually fall in love (maybe next season?)

The kids, even with chicken pox they managed to be overshadowed by the adults. they used to be more present and be part of the plot. now it's just Allie, kind of feel like Elisabeth is not a teacher anymore...

More scenes with Lucas and Elizabeth. I'd also like to see more storylines with the Hope Valley kids.

Nathan and Ally

Scenario with Lucas and Baby Jack

Any other thoughts about the season so far?

It would ne nice to see other characters developement such as Molly, Florence, Ned who bring the sparkle of fun and lightness to the show.

Without Jack and Abigail, stop the season. WCTH no longer makes sense.

Too much make up - cut it out!

Hate how Brian Bird has turned the Hearties against each other with this triangle. Then the fact he gloats about it is so unchristian. Apparently Mr. Bird is not the Christian he claims to be with his behavior on social media. He loves the fact the Hearties are divided and the community has become hateful towards each other.

I just hope the triangle ends this season and finally be on the path to develop the second love chosen for Elizabeth

I’m unclear on who is in charge of Hope Valley right now. There was a mention of the town council in this week’s episode, did the head of town council become mayor? Did they get rid of the mayor’s office, and now the whole town council is in charge? I’m not sure why, but I think about this a lot whenever I’m watching.

I’m not a huge fan of this supposed love triangle. Not at all.

Not enough drama for this time period. We need more cliffhanger type moments. Stakes aren't high enough like they used to be.

They have done a FANTASTIC job. Honestly, this season, along with season 6, are my favs.

It’s been great

I absolutely detest the "love" triangle. It is out of character for Elizabeth to be attracted to two men. She's a one-man woman. Also I HATE the way this unnecessary triangle has divided the Hearties and caused so much ugliness.

Lucas and Elizabeth are constantly getting interrupted by Nathan. Less of Allie and more of the other kids. Little Jack walk and not be carried all the time. Lucas and Elizabeth dance at the wedding and/or on the trip they take. Nathan sees he is not winning over Elizabeth and Lucas

Excellent

I really want Elizabeth to end up with Lucas and show their love story

I'm leaning more towards Lucas mostly because I don't want the teacher/mountie storyline recycled but for both options, I would like more in depth characterisation.

I actually really like love triangles, so I don’t mind it at all if they manage it well. The season is certainly not good so far, but I’m mostly enjoying it and looking forward to new episodes more than in previous seasons. My expectations are very low, but I’m still worried they’ll manage to disappoint me in so many ways. On a completely positive note, I’m loving the importance of Rosemary’s friendship with Elizabeth!

I like it

Kevin is only there when he's needed for the Fione storyline, the guy that works for Gowen is in the back more than Kevin. Kevin actually doesn't make much sense since he doens't interact with many characters other than Fiona and the occassional storyline with the livery

Get storylines for Henry and Bill

It’s ok - some plot lines are strong and some are very weak and waste a lot of viewing time.

Not happy w/the triangle. #Hearties are too divided.

Better writing not so predictable

I prefer Elizabeth to be with Lucas because he isn't a Mountie, we already had that story-line with Jack and i just want something fresh for Elizabeth.

We need a love interest for Henry!

I hate the triangle! It is causing division among the #Hearties. I think if the writers are going to put Elizabeth with another mountie which i hope and pray they dont! They should have replaced Jack. I think this triangle is making Elizabeth look silly and the men look like teenage boys. It has took the Elizabeth we have known away. Lucas is so perfect for Elizabeth he reminds me so much of Jack and to put them together would bring back the excitement to the show it has lost.

It's really ok. I don't really get why some have these like, HUGE expectations. It's a Hallmark show, I only have 1 real expectation: Be good, and realaxing.

Please renew for more seasons. I love this show. This is a great season

Honeslty it's quite okay. I would like to have more active plots, but this is Hallmark, so it's fine

More Lee and Rosemary and a quick end to the love triangle would be perfect.

They really need to work in the Spanish Influenza of 1918

I like the evolution of Elizabeth and Bill’s relationship - he is becoming a father like supposrt foe her and surrogate grandfather to Jack Jr developing

It's like the writers are running out of ideas. They did better with S6 even with kicking out Lori

Triangle needs to end by season

I feel like Henry would have had a bigger role with Abigail, so I'm sad that his character has to suffer the consequences of the Loughlin scandal. He's still a very good character but he deserves more plot than he gets.

Don't want the love triangle go to the next season.

This season is an improvment because there is no behind the scnes drama to accomodate for, however, it still feels stiff or something. I am looking forwrd to seeing Jesse and Clara's wedding! It will be the best since Rosemry and Lee's

No, it's all good

Would like to learn more about Lucas' family!

It's been kinda meh, with parts i've adored and parts i've loathed. trying to stay open-minded

Nathan’s character boring and needy. They way the writers have written him is very off-putting. Allie is grating on nerves too. Where are all the other students? I realize the writers must have a plan in place, but I honestly do not understand why they are dividing the fanbase over Elizabeth’s love life. It’s heartbreaking.

Please have Elizabeth choose already!! I feel like the love triangle is being dragged out!! Lol! But I love all the Elizabeth Lucas scenes!

eh

Love it!

This season is so amazing so far! I cannot wait to see what is in store for Elizabeth and the rest of Hope Valley!

The ensemble cast really shines through. And also Erin is doing really good work with what´s been given her.

I miss the previous seasons and how much more interesting they were

Drop the love triangle

I don't think Elizabeth has chemistry with either man

If things don’t improve - end the show. Sorry - but my honest opinion.

I would like see a less competitiveness between Nathan and Lucus, the way they are acting is just silly and it belittles both of them. I think it would be more interesting if they were friends 1st before they both became interested in Elizabeth. Other than that I like the season so far, it feels fresh!

Nope, everything is pretty solid. But i really hope they don't go the Nathan route.

It’s great to be invested in this show again!

I’d like them to stop trying to make Henry into a bad guy

I would like the triangle over

I dont want this love triangle to continue for too long because it is becoming confusing and annoying to watch. I prefer Nathan because i feel like Elizabeth has more chemistry with him than Lucas. I think she also prefers Nathan but is afraid to allow herself to make her feelings known because shes afraid of lossing him too. I don't see her with Lucas because he is everything she left behind when she chose to stay in Hope Valley.

I’m really enjoying it! The flowers episode was my favorite! Very sweet and romantic.

I like Molly having a job now, too.

It’s pretty good. I wish the love triangle would be solved soon.

I love Jesse & Clara!!!

Really enjoying it! Excited to see where the storylines are Going!

I could use a little less Nathan and Allie.

Less love triangle.... wishful thinking

#TeamLucas. That's all ?

Need to end the triangle

With Elizabeth being the teacher she should interact with all the students. Sorry, not sorry but enough of Ally

[thoughtfulpaperback]

SPOILERS!!! Charmed 2x10 Review

Okay, y’all. . . I am seriously ticked off at the writers for a number of reasons which I will address after I go over the things I actually loved about the episode. I thought the episode was entertaining and well-paced. On the entertainment scale, it was an 8 out of 10 for me. But in case no one has figured out from my previous reviews, The way I rate an episode on entertainment is not indicative of how well written I think it is. When I rate entertainment, I think in simple terms of was I bored? Did I feel like I could look away from the screen?, is this relatively fun to watch or is it something that feels like a chore?

So for sure, this was entertaining and I was invested more so than the episode before. So anyways . . . Standard format. Thinks I liked, things I disliked, episode highlights.

THINGS I LIKED

1. Jordan and Maggie’s relationship and Jordan in general.

I am just going to say it. Jordan is the new Harry and his relationship with Maggie is what I had wanted the writers to do with Hacy.

What do I mean? Think about it. Jordan is a supportive friend, who-although doesn’t always react the best or know exactly what is going on-goes out of his way to help Maggie. He is obviously developing feelings though she is mending from a romantic loss and going through big life changes. He isn’t pursuing her, just trying to be there for her, but you can see his feelings grow the more they interact and get to know each other. Though Maggie is hesitant and not ready to be in a relationship, the foundations of her starting to care and appreciate Jordan are being set. Is this not what many of us all the way back in season 1 thought of when we imagined Hacy interactions in the future?

Anyways, I fell in love with Harry’s character based on those sorts of behaviors and of course his own personality, so it stands to reason that Jordan displaying those characteristics and being his own really good person with a magical curse on him is going to make me want this character around for a while, if not forever. 

Jordan now knowing about magic and the curse is so exciting to me, and I think he and maggie going on adventures and trying to “balance the scales” to lift his curse or just do good. It is content that I need, and it doesn’t have to even be romantic. I mean outside of his fraternization question. There haven’t been any huge romantic moments or intentions displayed. But that not bad! it actually makes it feel more realistic, that the two are building a friendship and getting closer as they grow and learn. So Just having Jordan fulfill that old Harry role and a bit of OG Charmed Morris role is compelling and interesting to me. I really hope the writers don’t screw this up, and to be clear I am talking about his character in general, not related to a romance with Maggie. Because I am definitely afraid they will try to kill Jordan off or abuse his character the way OG writers did with Morris. 

2. The ghost storyline and Maggie kicking butt

The Ghost was great and is what made the whole episode entertaining. I still think ghosts trapped in mirrors is like the most stupid movie/ghost troupe out there because mirrors BREAK!!!! So thank you, writers, for at least showing the very thing that I always bring up when ghost stories include mirrors.

The action sequences were great in my opinion, and though this episode felt like some of the video games I have played in terms of the possession and the way the scenes were staged, I liked it. If I liked the games, then, of course, I would like a show that does simpler (if not outright copies) those things. 

3. Mel and Ray’s side plot

Okay, so I want more of this. It doesn’t have to be with Ray. Mel has been the most underused and abused character on the show so far. 

Listen, I am not a person who thinks every character needs a love interest or story to be interesting. If Mel is going to be out of the game for a while that’s fine, but give me good reasons why. Don’t just tease things only to take them away. And don’t underuse a character who is supposed to be one of the Main characters.

If they had wanted to focus on character developing Mel and having her heal from everything that happened last season, and/or set her up to investigate this non-magical threat to the magical community then they should have never brought Kat in. They should have had the sisters talk about it and made it clear how Mel was planning on going about things. Then actually give her those scenes which show her struggles and character growth throughout the episodes, not in chunks every two or three. I mean they set up some Mel struggles (insecurities about not having their powers, her being the one who wanted to run the magical community, and her protection of maggie and their dad issues) but they only really showed the struggles in episode three, solve most with a mirror monologue rather than build-up to the mirror monologue. I mean really Mel only gets a couple of highlight moments every couple of episodes and when she is on screen it is actually refreshing. Getting to explore Mel’s character is great! but the writers just set up things only to pull away from them or try to solve them quickly so they don’t have to give us more. Which they should because that is what is actually compelling!

This episode with Mel and Ray was an example. I loved the mirroring of their personalities and physical behaviors. I loved that they gave her a chance to actually learn what happened between her parents. 

You guys this has actually bothered me since Maggie's parentage reveal in season 1. They never talked about how Mel might be feeling after finding out her mom was cheating on her dad. I mean even if you did resent your father and thought the world of your mother, that would be a pretty big thing to learn. They show that she is hurt by the fact she didn’t know her mom as well as she thought. Again things they teased us with but never went deeper since those and these writers seem not to know what to do with Mel (which is dumb because again they introduce really great stuff, but do not follow through). 

I want more Mel. I think the stuff with her and Ray was well done and interesting. I still think Ray is dumb and a not so great person, but he has earned a bit more sympathy from me given that, while he wasn’t a good dad, he still loves both Mel and Maggie equally even knowing that Maggie isn’t his biological daughter.

MEL IS BAE and I want to see powers in combat, writers if nothing else please give me this.

But side note, I am not upset about the Ladies or Harry using their powers a bit freely because season 1 set up that some the Sarcana wanted to be able to use their powers semi-publicly to dispense justice and it was the elders who were set against any type of exposure. The elders are gone, rules have changed, but I do hope they will eventually address this.

THINGS I DISLIKED

1. Abigael

They are ruining her for me! I actually love Abigael as a villain. She is at her best when she is ambitious and going for it. I mean they just had her lock up her brother, take over as Overlord, and manage to get at least some trust from the Charmed ones, and hinted at some bigger plans, only to have her show up this episode after SELF-HARMING to get the attention of a man!!!!

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?!?!? Listen, if they go the route of Abigael is being manipulative and trying to take Harry, but still going to be a badass demon boss. then fine I will buy into this for a bit. But they have made it seem like she is desperate for his affection, and I just can’t. I could never get behind Harry x Abby because of all she has already done and her manipulativeness, but I actually liked that she told Harry she thinks of him as a whole person. Someone needed to say it, but I don’t want her to turn into the “crazy other woman” stereotype. In that, her plans and ambitions get out staged by her obsession with getting the guy. I am not down for a desperate Abigael. I hate this type of troupe, so the writers better not be going there. 

2. Hacy

Julian has got to be the big bad or the one funding these collecting of magical beings and artifacts. Because if he is not, there is honestly no reason that Macy shouldn’t be with him. I mean he does seem to move fast, so maybe that could be a reason, but other than that . . . nothing. Unless she is not really interested in him. And if that is the case, this makes Macy seem like a jerk for using Julian like that. 

okay so I gotta organize this or else it will get crazy. So my biggest issue with Hacy so far, which was just brought out the most this episode, was that the writers haven’t earned the angst.

There has been very little build-up of Macy and Harry’s feelings. We got smacked with it in like the first four episodes, but at the same time were being introduced to the “distractions” or obstacles. And the truth is the obstacles are stupid. 

The first question you should ask yourself if you plan on keeping characters apart if the obstacles are valid and unavoidable. 

For example. Harry and Macy not admitting their feelings was totally valid at the start of this season. Macy and Harry both lost love interests in the season before. It has been less than a month since then when the first episode, there should be some confusion and repression over feelings. and Macy is not open at all when it comes to her feelings. All of this is valid and mostly unavoidable.

But the writers messed up. Because they have mostly glossed over everything in season 1. They have not put in the effort to show us what Macy is thinking or feeling. They have done this with Harry (well in some places and poor in others). But they haven’t done anything with Macy so far. Hints then some little moments, but nothing overt. We don’t even know what she was going to say to Harry when she had planned on talking to him before the Abigael kiss. 

And that is actually the bigger issue too. They showed that Macy was willing to talk about her feelings, though what exactly they are and what she wanted/wants is unclear. So her not being great at communication is no longer the obstacle especially since Harry does pretty much say he has feelings for her.

"Well he was kissing abigael!" So that would shut down a want to communicate. Completely agree, but he tells her that it was just a moment and granted they should elaborate on that in an actaull conversationsation. But the point it that he is showing his cards, although he definitely could be clearer. So if she wanted to communicate she could versus previously where she actually had a hard time communicating. She communicates but is angry and holding back versus just not having it in her to do it.

Although it was an argument and for sure you aren’t going to be inclined to admit you have feelings during an argument. The writers showed us that Macy had been willing to communicate, so if something has changed (I mean internally as she has moved from being closed off to just being unwilling to communicate) they should show us,because Harry basically is saying “the ball is in your court” and yet she is . . . I don’t know what she is doing.

If she genuinely has feelings for Julian and spending time with him is healing then that is where she should want to be. There hasn’t been enough build-up of hacy (and this is coming from a Hacy fan) to make me believe that enough feelings and good moments exist to beat out a genuine and healthy human connection. 

Stop telling women it is only love if it is miserable most of the time. They continually put unnecessary and totally avoidable roadblocks to Hacy and have been putting the two at odds. It's not cute or romantic. at this point it is just frustrating. So the writers need to show them bonding more. They better plan on getting them together by the end of this season and then having that healthy relationship stuff (angst and fluff) next season, because I honestly couldn’t take another season of this. I for sure wouldn’t be able to take a whole relationship like this either. If the writers can’t figure out to write healthy relationships I don’t want them near Hacy.

Honestly, I feel that they are relying on the fact that those of us in the Hacy fandom, have put in most of the work. We’ve done all the imagining, and dissecting into their actions and possible feelings, and put in the fantasy hours of how great a relationship they could be in, but the writers have actually done very little on that front. 

Now don’t get me wrong. Mads and Rupert are killing it. I think the reason I am still holding out is that they work really well in scenes together and they are great actors. I mean for the little the writers have given us, Mads and Rupert sell it. I mean the “I’ll just know”. The looks, the smiles (although rare this season), all that we have gotten so far in building that connection, is great even though compared to the angst and drama it feels like small crumbs.

For those who are trying to pick sides or claim Harry is in the wrong, or that Macy is being stubborn and stupid.... yes and no.

One of the biggest plotholes or unknowns has been what Macy does know about Harry’s feelings. At the end of season 1 suggested she found out about Harry’s feelings. But her conversation with Mel episode 8 suggested she had no idea about Harry’s feelings. 

Harry hasn’t been overt, yet I think it is obvious from the clues. Jimmy is interested in Macy and is overt in that interest. That’s a bit of a clue that Harry is possibly into her (more likely than not). Harry is obviously jealous of his darklighter and the fact Macy told him she liked him or at least him being different (although she wasn’t aware it wasn’t Harry at the time). Then, of course, Mel tells her. 

Now it would be preferable that Harry just come right out and say it. Harry has no right to assume that Macy knows exactly what he feels, although he is right to assume that she knows He does have feelings for her. He is right though to put any relationship conversation on her at this point. 

He has stated at the very least that he does have feelings for her with his “you know damn well how I feel about you” comment , even if the depth or exact nature of them has not been stated. Which it needs to be. The ball does need to be in Macy’s court. She obviously--or it just seems that way based on the writing--does not know what she wants or at least right now is unwilling to go for it. Harry being the pursuer would come off belch to me. Especially given that both are in vulnerable places right now. 

I am not sure that even if they admit thier feelings, the should or would be in a relationship. In fact I think that would be infinitely more interesting to watch. Not two people using others to deny thier feelings, but two people who decide to revisit thier feelings when they are both in better places. in the mean time they save people, heal, and carry on more healthy interactions until they are ready to be together. That’s the Slow burn I’d want to see. not two people just being angry and hurting each other becuase “welp, jealousy and love make you irrational”. Show us a different way or at least cut down on some of the most toxic portions of all this.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

1. Maggie and Swan fight

2. Jordan having a mini break down over magic and ghost reveal

3. Mel and Ray drinking coffee

4. “I used to protect you”, “Now we protect each other.”

5. Abby telling Harry she wants him and thinks of him as a whole person

but . . .

[felumatsu]

Quick question for you all

Did you like the movie? Why/why not?

I’m seeing more and more positive ractions and to be honest I don’t understand them at all. 

Imo the story was...ok, but the movie itself was extremely mediocre. I liked it, but uh, not really.

I’m no movie critic, so my opinion might seem just stupid to some people, but I feel like I need to explain my point of view.  I’m having this issue with everything that comes after 1st season of Osomatsu-san - it was SO GOOD, it got so much attention, that later when OVA and 2nd season came out, I couldn’t stop thinking about how bad they are compared to 1st season. Same goes with the movie. I know a movie and an entire series of episodes are completely different things and it’s not so simple to just compare them without a deeper explanation. But the movie was so plain that it could’ve been just an episode. Not to mention that I felt like the humour just lacked something in general, just like in 2nd season. 

Personally I find 2nd season offensively boring, there were some good episodes, but the humour was sometimes just too much, the perverted jokes were too childish, like it’s...not what I was waiting for. I was really into ososan for the entire time, until 2nd season came out, really. A few months prior it came out, my love for the show kind of died, but I was still waiting and hoping my love for the show would come back with the first episode. Not only it didn’t, but after watching a few episodes I just stopped caring at all, I was just disappointed. I feel like the producers went with risky humour in 1st season that really worked, but later they just went full on WE ARE VIRGINS HAHAHA PENIS HAHAHA FUNNY FACES LOL LOUD NOISES ARE VERY FUNNY because it worked the first time. Idk, maybe I’m biased, I honestly don’t know anymore.

When it comes to the movie, I feel like they did the exact opposite, which is still better than 2nd season. They tuned down the jokes, but the story was meh. Sure, it was entertaining, especially for me, a person who was deeply involved with the story and characters, a person who enjoys seeing interactions between them and all the little things. But...there was not much of those to begin with, and when I think about the story and everything that they did or didn’t include in the movie, it feels like a bad movie overall.

There was so many things that I was looking forward to, but most of all YOUNG MATSUS! Since we saw the first trailers and concepts from the movie, we were all hyped! Then I watched the movie, saw young matsus and after all I feel like the story wasn’t even about them? But hey, that’s not a bad thing, right? But then, the story was about...a random girl that matsus didn’t interact with? Except this one time in their memory, which wasn’t even real? I don’t even remember if they exchanged any words at school, all I know is that she was in the background of the photos that we saw among with the end credits. We know nothing about her except why or how she said goodbye. For me she seems to be a (very cute) side character, that’s all. So since she’s not the main character, who is? Matsus? Then why did we see so little of their past?

We saw Oso. Great, he was the same. ...that’s all? We saw Choro, he was a cute perverted nerd. What about his friends? Did he have any? Ichi? We saw a lot of him, that’s good! I’m satified with his side of the story tbh! I just wish we saw him more not around his friends. Todo was...cute and sociable I guess? Totoko was cute. Her part was okay-ish, it’s not like she’s well developed in the show anyway. Kara’s and Jyushi’s parts of the story got me annoyed the most. Jyushi was pretending to be a...bad boy i guess. WHY? What about his friends? What about his...I dont know...Anything? And Kara. Ohhh my sweet boy Karamatsu. He was a quiet shy boy. That’s all. I’m so glad I got to know his young self, I’m glad they wasted so much screen time to just show me that he was shy. We all knew about that the moment they showed us the concept arts.

What got me angry was the use of young Karamatsu’s personality. Like they developed his young self only for the sake of the movie plot, which would just use the fact that he was shy/scared to talk to people. Before we knew what was going on, it looked like a very good story imo. Kara’s hiding something and having regrets? We all knew it wasn’t about some fandom-requested depressed Kara or anything like this(I would really enjoy that lmao, but it would be pretty dumb), but I was hoping it would have something to do with their personalities, with their past, which would explore their characters even more. Nope, he got a letter from a girl that no one remembered!   

God, it’s not a bad story in general when you think about it. The ending was expected, but it wasn’t bad. But I feel like it lacked so much that there was no real plot. Like they made a movie, because they wanted to make a movie, and THEN started thinking about a plot. Like I feel there was just no point in making this movie. 

Not to sound like a total asshole, there were some little things that I really, really enjoyed. For example how they acted around each other in high school. The Todo/Choro interactions were amazing, young socializing Ichi was amazing! I also LOVED how they all mistook Kara’s memories with Oso’s - it showed how similar and equally stupid they actually are. Also, the part where Kara was constantly annoyed by Oso’s immatureness? I LOVED that! Go mature Kara and show him who’s in charge. Hey, the part where they all talked to their young selves? Cliche, but adorable! Seeing them interact with past selves also showed us that actually they are grown-ups and aren’t all that immature! Cool! I’m happy I got to see all of these things and also others that I don’t remember at this moment.

In conclusion. I enjoyed the movie, but it left me really dissatisfied.

Sorry I kind of turned this into an angry rant. And sorry for my English. It was hard to turn my feelings into words as a non-native speaker, but I’m learning and I saw that as an opportunity to test my writing skills. 

I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of misunderstandings from my side, a lot of conflicts, contradictions, and me missing some stuff, but I wanted to voice my opinion on this as I really have only one person that I can talk about it to. (love u)

tl;dr me likey movie but it bad an i want more

[captainamericasbeard]

A State of Grey

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Violence, character death, depression, allusion to suicide. (yeah, its a fun one.) 

Summary: One of the Avengers (Surprise bitch, its you) is dealing with depression and it has deeper ramifications than you expected.

A/N: So I have bi polar depression and just went through a really really bad depressive episode. I haven’t seen a lot of fics that realistically portray depression and I wanted to give it a go. 

Your clock is shouting at you. 9:50 and the briefing starts in 10 minutes. You want to cry at the mere thought of interacting with your teammates but instead you push yourself up to sitting and put your feet on the warm hardwood floor. Your shoulders slump with the effort and your body is screaming at you to fall back under the covers where you’ve been for the last 3 days.

“You can do this,” you mutter under your breath, your voice cracking. “You can DO this. Now do it!” And you do. You drag yourself off of the bed and over to your closet. Your body feels like a rock but you’d rather show up to the briefing on time and pass through unnoticed than show up late and take a verbal lashing from Steve. You hastily pick up a pair of leggings and a mostly clean shirt, on old oversized henley Bucky had let you steal, and threw on your converse. You quickly splash your face with water and attempt to reign in your hair. There was nothing that could be done about the bags under your eyes or the constant downturn of your lips. 9:57. Time to go.

You move softly down the hallway, hoping to slide into the conference room unnoticed. No such luck. Bucky whips open his door just as you’re passing, trying to pull on his boots and a hoodie at the same time. You suspect his super-solider hearing alerted him to your presence.

“Nice shirt, Y/N!” He says, a smirk playing on the corners of his mouth. You want to answer, smile, anything but nothing comes so you just shrug your shoulders and keep walking. Shit, it's bad. I cant even talk to my favorite person. Bucky pulls up alongside you and throws his arm around your shoulder.

“You alright, Buttercup?” His nickname for you usually makes your heart glow, you’re his buttercup, his little ray of sunshine. But not lately. “I haven’t seen you since the last mission.” As he squeezes your shoulders he feels bone where there didn’t used to be any. There’s no hiding from him, his eyes travel over the bags under your eyes, your unkept hair, your hip bones protruding.

“I’m alright,” you manage, “just tired.” Not a lie, you reason. Bucky drops his arm, respecting your silent request for space, but he keeps pace with you the rest of the way towards the conference room. He manages to maneuver it so you’re sitting next to him as Steve closes the door and starts the briefing.

Your concentration ebbs in and out. What you can gather is that it's a fairly simple mission, a takedown of a small Hydra base. 20 operatives, according to FRIDAY’S scans. The team will be you, Bucky, Nat, and Steve. Having grasped the basics you set your mind free to wander as you pick at the frayed edge of your shirt.

“Y/N!” Your head snaps up. How long had Steve been trying to get your attention?

“You with us now?” His eyes are stern as they lock on yours.

“Yes, sorry.”

“Is there a problem?” He asks with a lift of his eyebrow, Cap mode in full swing.

“No, sorry. I'm just tired.” Might as well keep up the lie. Bucky gives you a side glance which you try and fail to ignore.

“Well put some coffee in you. Jet leaves in 20.” With that Steve snaps his briefing binder shut and nods to dismiss the room. You work to be the last to leave but you still get pinned between Steve and Bucky. Steve has his concerned dad face on and he gently grabs your arm.

“You ok, Y/N?” His endless blue eyes are softer now, though his brow is knit with worry. “We can get Wanda to go if you’re not feeling well.” You consider his proposal for a brief moment but pride wins out.

“No, I’m ok. I want to go.” And you do. You’re holding out hope that a physical distraction will take your mind off the boulder sitting on your chest.

“Okay, well maybe just hang back in the jet until you’re needed?”

“Sounds good, boss.” You even attempt a smile. He releases your arm and you move to leave.

“You want me to get you that cup of coffee?” Bucky asks. You jump. Christ, you’d forgotten he was there. Coffee was a bad idea, considering the fact that you’d been living off crackers you pilfer in the night when the kitchen is most likely to be empty.

“No, I’m good. I’m just going to go suit up.” You give his hand a squeeze that you hope communicates Thanks for looking out for me as you head off toward the tac room. You fail to catch his concerned gaze following you down the hallway.

It wasn’t just 20 hydra agents. It was more like 60. You waited in the jet for as long as you could but you could hear the team losing ground. Just as you’re standing to move into the fray Steve’s exhausted voice comes over the coms. “Can you give us a hand out here, Y/N?”

“Already on my way.” You move down the ramp of the jet and focus your body on the energy flitting all around you. You grip balls of light like baseballs in your bare hands and hurl them at the closest Hydra agents. They go down, twitching from the current flowing through their bodies. You conjure two more balls and throw them at the agents attacking Nat. They go down just as hard as the first two. But now you’ve attracted some attention and the agents begin to target you.

You throw up one shield and then another to block the bullets hurtling towards you. You throw two more balls of energy and take down two more agents. But now you’re starting to feel like something is off. You can’t feel the currents of energy flowing around you anymore. Your next two hits don’t take the agents down, they merely stumble and continue towards you. You throw up another shield against a barrage of bullets only to have the shield shatter on impact. A bullet rips through your shoulder. You grunt and fall forward while the battle rages on. No one around you seems to realize there is something terribly wrong. You force yourself to your feet and try to conjure more energy only to have it fizzle and die in your hands. You can’t feel anything. There’s no power to draw from and no weapon in your hands.

Instinct kicks in as you fall back on your training. You’d never been one to simply rely on your powers so you’d had Nat put you through the ringer when you first joined the team. A good thing too because now it was the only thing standing between you and capture and torture. You swing your leg up and hook it around an agent’s head, pulling him to the ground while simultaneously punching out the trachea of another agent. You lash out violently, kicking, punching, even biting. Slowly the team gains ground.

Thinking it might be almost over you glance around at your teammates. Steve and Nat are holding their own. Your eyes search for Bucky only to see him pinned down by over a dozen agents. Fire burns in your chest at the sight. You work your way over to him, fighting your way through the melee, but you’ll come too late with too little. You see him drop to one knee. He’s not going to make it.

You search the air for any lick of energy you can focus in his direction but you know it’s useless. In desperation you reach down inside yourself, knowing you’re about to do something very very stupid. With no energy to draw from on the outside, you seek out every bit of bioelectricty coursing through your body. You cry out at the effort and drop to your knees. With your last piece of strength and a final, throat rawing scream you clap your hands together and direct all of your own energy at every agent in a 20 foot radius. Your vision blurs and then dims to black as you fall to the ground. The last thing you see is Bucky rushing towards you, hair swinging in his face, his eyes filled with fear and a silent scream pouring from his mouth. As you black out you think it's the last thing you’ll ever see.

You're in pain. You’re lying on a metal slab and everything hurts, especially your chest. You open your eyes only to close them again, the light of the med bay blinding you. You hear the shuffle of feet and can feel someone standing at your shoulder. Slower this time, you open your eyes and find Bucky standing over you. He’s standing, stance wide and arms crossed, with red rimmed eyes filled with anger and fear and… something else you can't process in this state.

“What happened?” your voice croaked.

“You died,” his voice was shaking and his hands were clenched.

“Am I still dead?” A poor attempt at a joke.

“No.”

“Oh, okay. Good.” You start to drift away again but Bucky isn’t having it.

“What the hell were you thinking? Why did you do that!?” His nostrils were flaring and, though his voice was low, it was filled with anger.

“I had to save you Buck,” you said simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He grabs you shoulders and you wince but he doesn’t let go.

“Never do that again, Y/N, do you hear me? Never. I’m not worth- There’s no point if you’re- Just don’t do it, ok?” His eyes bore into yours and you know you’ll have to respond.

“I’ll always save you Buck. Always.” His hands drop to his sides and you reach out and take one. A look you can’t identify passes over his eyes before he buries his emotions and becomes blank. You wish for once he would just let the mask drop.

“Don't worry,” you squeeze his hand and he instinctually squeezes back, “I can handle it.” You give him a wane smile.

“No, you can’t Y/N.” Bruce strides into the room looking at what you assume is your medical chart.  “You were dead for 5 minutes. The time for brain death is 6.” He looks at you over the top of his glasses, snapping the thick file shut. “ You used over 90% of your own bioelectric energy to produce a blast that knocked out 20 Hydra agents. What happened?”

You sigh and glance at Bucky, “My powers stopped working.” The room went silent as Bucky and Bruce just stared. You took it as an invitation to continue. “One moment I could feel energy flowing around me and the next moment it was gone. I couldn’t conjure anything. So I drew energy from the only place I knew for certain I’d find it.”

“Well. That’s, interesting,” Bruce was calm but you could practically hear his brain churning. “I’ve never heard of a case where a natural born mutant lost their powers. Do you mind sticking around for a few days so I can run some tests?” Bucky’s eyes narrowed and he was about to protest when you cut him off.

“Whatever you want Doc, so long as I get to go back to sleep right now.” You could feel your body shutting down and you knew there was no way you could stop it. “By the way, why does my chest hurt?” “They had to use the paddles to bring you back. It took almost 400 jules of energy to get your heart to start again. It was the worst 5 minutes of my life.” Bucky almost whispered the last part as your brain fell into a foggy haze. You kept gripping his hand even as you drifted off to sleep.

2 am. You’ve been up since 2 am. You sit huddled on the couch under the coziest blanket you could find running a tiny ball of light across your fingertips. It’s the most you’d been able to conjure in a week. You’d been released from the med bay this morning and as you think back on your final conversation with Dr. Banner tears start rolling down your cheeks. The light flickers and fades.

You hastily wipe the tears from your cheeks as you hear a door open and close. You don’t have to look up to know its Bucky. You’d felt a trembling in the air and you knew he was battling his own demons in the quiet morning hours. You shrank into the couch as he came towards the common area, trying to make yourself invisible.

“Couldn't sleep?” His gruff voice comes from behind the open refrigerator door. There was no hiding from Bucky.

“No, unfortunately not.” Your voice cracked with the effort of speaking. Bucky came around to sit on the couch and hands you a bottle of water. You both crack them open and take a sip in unison.

“Nightmare?” you ask. He answers with a short nod. “Need to talk about it?” you ask, knowing the answer. He sighs and looks down at the water bottle in his hands.

“No.” Then it’s silent between the two of you. The kind of silence that only comes with years of friendship and affection. “What’d the Doc say?” He keeps his eyes down and his tone casual but you can tell this is important to him.  Your breath catches and your eyes swim with tears again. You don’t want to talk about this but you know talking about it is the only way out.

“I'm depressed,” you state matter-of-factly. “The depression is dampening my powers,” you offer as a way of explanation.

“Why are you depressed?” Bucky asks, his eyes filled with concern.

“Because I have depression. I don’t need a reason. I have depression so sometimes I’m depressed. This time was worse than other times before. It was scary bad,” you drop your eyes down in shame.

“What do you mean ‘scary bad’?” You can’t answer but your look explains it all. His eyes widen in fear and he reaches for your hand, which you gladly take. He makes you feel grounded. Your body calms at his touch.

“Hey,” he starts softly, “I’m, um, I’m in love with you. You know that right?” He locks eyes with you and all you can see is adoration and kindness. The mask is finally down and the feelings you’ve seen in part before are now on full display. Your tears spill over.

“I know you do, Buck. And I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you too. But this isn’t about that. That doesn’t magically make it go away. I wish it did but it did but it doesn’t.” Your heart aches. You wish you were a whole person that you could offer to this amazing man, but you just weren’t. Not now at least.

“Come’ere Buttercup.” Bucky pulls your head down onto his lap and tucks the blanket tightly around you. His fingers begin to play in your hair, combing and braiding their way through your locks. You sob into his sweatpants and he rubs small circles on your back. “I love you. That’s not gonna change, no matter how you’re feeling. I’m here for you and I need you to know that.” You sniffle and give a small nod. Your body relaxes and his warm hands on your back and in your hair pull you into the first proper sleep you’ve had in weeks.

“I love you too, Bucky,” are the last words you whisper as you drift off.

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