#and i did the bare minimum today
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it should be illegal to work when it gets hotter than 35°C
#I'm MELTING#and i did the bare minimum today#when it gets so hot we should quarantine like we did in 2020 until the temperature gets better#text
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literally go ahead its Your blog
fuck yes massive win i love to yap.
so basically theres this really really fucking gorgeous trans girl that comes into the store i work at (literally just some convenience store) every once in a while n every time she came in id get like. rlly flustered n shit. bcs i am a USELESS QUEER!! n she apparently noticed that!! and apparently thinks im cute!!! wow!!!!!!!
anyways last time i saw her before today she mentioned how she noticed i get flustered n teased me a bit and yes i was insane about it for the rest of the day. a pretty girl teased me. how could i not be insane about this
so today while i was at work she came in again (apparently shes been coming to the store just to see me!!) and i FINALLY got the bravery to ask for her number. her response was "its about time you asked". i nearly died.. my poor little heart nearly exploded!! she was teasing me the whole time she was there (WHICH WAS A WHOLE ASS HALF HOUR BTW) and i got basically no work done today (DO YOU BLAME ME??? GETTING MY JOB DONE ISNT THE PRIORITY IF THERES A PRETTY GIRL GIVING ME ATTENTION...)
anyways we might be having a date on sunday after im done with work?? i might die of death before i make it to sunday but i will be strong guys... i will be strong!!
#herbert speaks#she texted me after she left the store and when i tell you i was DYING for the ENTIRE DAY... I MEAN IT BRO#TAGS GET SUGGESTIVE AFTER THIS. BE WARNED!!#“awww you even keyboard smash like a cute little sub” HELLO I AM GOING TO DIE NOW. IM GONNA DIE BCS MY HEART EXPLODED. IM DEAD BTW. IM DEAD#SHE TOLD ME TO BRING MY COLLAR ON SUNDAY.#IM INSANE IM CRAZY IM INSANE#while she was at my workplace she kept being like 'wow ur very attentive i like that' n calling me cute and OUGHHHGHBH#“i noticed you jump a little every time i say something” ITS BECAUSE I AM INSANELY ATTRACTED TO YOU HOPE THIS HELPS#i really did not get ANY work done today. worth it i think.#i did the bare minimum and spent the rest of the day freaking out over pretty girl. as any person would
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May I please request some soft parrlyn please
morning vs night gfs
#(it is just past midnight here as i post this) (which means in the us it's like noon. and in the uk like?? evening or late afternoon.#timings which make me giggle (oh what a word. stole it from e into my vocab) bc they don't fit hehe#anyways. coffee vibes bc the colour sprites make a reappearance (drew on phone and was lazy to properly colour) but i didn't want it to be#obviously green and blue. like elphaba and a smurf. so like. undersaturatef and wrapped in coffee coloured warmth.#today is a tuesday and because of schedules tuesday is my socialish day which means that i#(main lovelang irl is obviously physical touch people don't even have to guess anymore they just Know) go about hugging my friends.#one of the favourite most comfy stuff is this??? did this to like three people today bare minimum!#so like maybe me and friends are the insp behind some of the fluffy ship poses ig you're welcome#anon did you know this has been sitting in my inbox for a while and you were the first out of Four Requests for parrlyn#latest one being a very recent one that appeared in my notes as blank and then opened to bolder large font parrlyn written out#which was lowkey a driving force in remembering that this blog exists.#have sorted out the emotional stuff? romance rn remains a slightly sore spot but it's more or less scabbed over and i guess sometimes i like#to poke at it a bit because i won't feel the same way for a while may as well check out the novelty. anyway lots of complicated feelings#but shipping urge still strong. soft wlw for the win! yay#lately dealing w everything i feel like ocs more. but ah well? bit of fanart in the midst of everything#six the musical#six the musical fanart#catherine parr#anne boleyn#parrlyn#parrleyn
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Day 3
hehe I journaled and wrote like a paragraph. :D The well of words has been kinda dry but I think it's just because I keep getting random errands that need to be done. I'm gonna do my best to persevere.
#carl100k#writing#and hey I'm gonna see if some more words come to me today but at least I did the bare minimum!
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y'all be like you hate whites for no reason but out of all the current footballers who spoke up for palestine there is not single white player who did it. Not a single one. Not even ONE.
#i know bellerin talked about palestine before and when hardly no one else did but he's such the exception he doesn't even count atp.#but for the rest like...literally not a single white player today let that sink in.#FYI I don't intend to credit players for the bare minimum + tbh I don't even care much.#if they do it it's very nice if they don't honestly i'm not delusional.#but when I go see the list of all those who did and you see they all arabs or africans or blacks ...man it hits hard u can't lie about it.
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Ayo I think I passed the exam I had on Wednesday?
#the professor didn't grade it yet but i asked bc there was revision today and i saw how i did on all items and he said it was a passed one#im happy with the bare minimum bros i need to focus on other things than retaking this exam
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Since I got the job the other day I've been thinking about how bad my rejection sensitivity is in professional settings, I am really just anxious about everything and assume people are gonna think I'm stupid or something and that makes me look even more stupid...
#today the afternoon girl told me smth that i interpreted as passive agressive(?) & “oh im just letting you know how you should leave stuff#for us for when we come in :-) bc you might not know“#when i clearly had told her i had prev experience. so i asked if i had left anything out of order or fucked up in some way that was#an inconvenience to her and the aft team and she said no. so like....why are you saying that....#i really dont understand people...#wish i cared less and just did a little less than the bare minimum but the professional anxiety(? has me always trying to overperform#when i really ??? i mean its not important at all...#genuinely wud consider acting stupid for real and do 50% of my work so that people give up on expecting anything of me#and know they cant count on me for anything so they wont even bring it up lmao#but that would make me sad
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we're stuck in a very unfortunate loop where I know a lot of things that help our mental health, but those things take an amount of energy, concentration, or ability to remember things, that we just do not currently have specifically because of the things that are making our mental health so bad in the first place.
I'm still trying to do them because I need to do the things that make us feel better, but the more stressed and exhausted we are, the harder it is to do the things that would help us be less stressed and it's not like there's a workaround for this so the only option is to just keep pushing through but wow I'd love if it was less difficult
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#it's just this constant thing of like... I'm trying as hard as I can to manage my mental health and cope with stuff#but there's only so much I can do so I'm still stressed as hell and struggling to function and getting irritable and upset all the time#and from an outside perspective that makes it look like I'm doing a really bad job or just not trying#when in reality if I wasn't doing as much as I can right now it would be so so much worse but people outside our brain don't see that#they just see someone who's constantly stressed and on edge and can't seem to keep on top of basic shit#and it doesn't help that big difficult tasks for us are often things that other people don't find that hard to begin with#and we haven't really had the energy to do those big tasks because even smaller tasks have been really difficult#so then we'll be like ''I actually emptied the bin and did laundry today'' and that's a big deal for us#but to a lot of people that sounds like we're asking them to be impressed with us doing the bare minimum
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I did virtually nothing today and yet I am SO incredibly tired. 7-hour-long meeting really screwed me up yesterday 👍
#the cactus speaks#like… today was a good day! I did stuff for myself and worked a bare minimum and then went to a social#but WHOOF#this girl is SLEEPY#GOOD NIGHT!!
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its a bit hilarious how little of a fuck my novel class professor gives about sci-fi/fantasy
#like we did summaries today and she was wayy more enthused discussing other people's stuff#my summary was shorter than like everyone elses just bc the assignment was a paragraph and i wrote a paragraph. and its pretty broad stroke#bc i have a lot of complicated worldbuilding planned that i cant really describe in a single paragraph/page so i just left it out#and she asked the bare minimum of questions so i barely said anything else and my turn was the quickest out of everyones#someone else had a sci-fi story and that was discussed much longer. but only by virtue of having a long summary actually detailing the plot#she was. visibly happier to talk about any other genre
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finally did my goddamn dishes. and that wasn't all i managed to do today. fuck yeah.
had a meeting for thesis prep. bmv trip. rough plan for friday's discussion lecture. cooked dinner for the first time in like 3 weeks. read ~50 pages of academic text for 2 classes and a paper revision.
feels like i didn't do enough but. considering that yesterday i managed... going to classes and nothing else! and monday i was only capable of doing the required meetings i had, this is a pretty good day!
#it's been. a tough few weeks. i couldn't focus at all last week. only got work done on the weekend. yesterday was........ tough.#monday wasn't as rough but was equally exhausting#so! proud of myself that i got. stuff done. big stuff even!#started keeping a task/reward journal to help out too :)#so every night i'll write out some tasks that need to get done the next day#and as i finish them i check them off and give myself silly little stickers to track what i managed!#so i get like. 1 sticker per 10 pages read (bc i usually need a break every 10 or so pages rn) 1 sticker in a diff color for chores.#1 for teaching stuff (laying out a lecture plan/finishing the lecture/doing a dry run/doing the lecture) 1 for meetings etc etc#it's helping bc i have a dumbass brain that doesn't give me dopamine for completing tasks anymore#it all gets lumped into 'yeah i did the bare minimum bc that's what i need to do. that's not special-#-no reward for you! you didn't really *do* anything. just scraped bare minimum!'#turns out that's bad for you lmao to get No Rewards#so i have a journal now! so i have hard proof that shows that i've Done Shit.#and i think the last two weeks i've been 1. underfed 2. overtired and 3. on the verge of burnout#so i haven't been able to do much. but a major stressor is gone now! (the bmv trip...)#and it like. immediately lifted a veil from my brain. 0-60 in like 40 minutes flat.#i hadn't realized how stressed about that i'd even been. it was taking up so much of my brain's metaphorical CPU.#so i'm hoping tomorrow i'll be able to do what i was doing two weeks ago. just plugging along at my usual pace#instead of just barely dragging my carcass forward#so! anyway. update that was unasked for but you sure are getting#i fuckin did stuff today! fuck yeah!#it is now an hour past my bedtime i'm gonna crash tf out. bedtime. sleepytime. good night
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eLivAtR FRieNd - Oct 8th
#spideer'sart#myart#unholytrinitytober#elevator friend#faith elevator friend#faith game#faith airdorf#faith: the unholy trinity#honestly didnt feel like doing anything today so i did the bare minimum
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To the brave men at that poisonous snake of a website, on this most sacred of days. We thank you for your service.
#Your face looks like a vagina from the 70s- and I usually like you with a beard#Did you use all the Just for Men available in America?#Hopefully this is for your Patty Hearst satire role and not to hide the fact you are the saddest man on the planet#Since Timberfake got off at least you aren't the most white rich privleged man flaunting his less than bare minimum abilities today#If those young people are so intelligent and engaged what the fuck do they need ego stroking neophytes like you pandering to them#Yeah I'm fucking pissed off at more people not showing their work and failing upward- I guess it isn't just a GOP thing#I triple dog dare you to pass the red face test and tell me where you at all think you deserve this and it wasn't bought and paid for
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there isn’t a single universe in which dhes graduates from college…
#even in the college AU he drops out lol#guy was not built for school#straight c student. bare minimum effort. could not give a shit.#still no computer for me :-(#i did go to the river yesterday though & found some cool rocks!!#also finally got around to watching love lies bleeding…..#definitely a movie i’m gonna have to add to my collection#n e way#gonna try to catch up on stuff later today & maybe q some things#might rb some old stuff for dhes’ birthday. we’ll see.#my main goal today is to work on slaughter house.#i have reached the like. scene planning stage finally so#i’ve been trying to write some sentences here & there to kinda get a feel for what the prose will be like#progress is slow#but there is progress#rainyrambles
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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getting a pay reduction next month and then getting laid off in october damn fuck this year 😍
#i posted enough funny things for the whole week today so now i get to make one pathetic miserable little post ‼️#FUCK this job btw they literally told me they'll sign me on for full-time and i was like. okay cool#im working as an accountant with a graphic design degree#and i do it WELL btw. and i havent started looking for jobs because i thought i have a fucking job#the bitch in hr hates me anyway#i was like. hello ive been working here for a year. my tax deduction ends next month. i did the onboarding for FOUR different positions#can i please get a raise. AND THIS BITCH. uhm we gave you a raise this january.... AND???#im literally gonna earn barely above minimum wage do they think im a fucking joke#if they think im gonna do the accounting for 3 different banks in 2 currencies then they've got it fucked#im gonna throw myself out the window if they dont backtrack by the end of the month. just to ruin their day
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