#the bitch in hr hates me anyway

[constantvariations]

It's kinda funny to me that so many people are up in arms about Neo's actions in C8 when it's easy for me to dismiss simply because that ain't Neo, yknow?

Like, Neo has never pussyfoot around murder. If she wants you dead, you gonna get dead. From Neo about to stab Yang while the latter is unconscious to Neo and Ruby falling through the void while Neo uses the visuals of Ruby's loved ones to try and weaken her enough for Neo to strangle her to death, Neo has always been fairly direct in her methods

So, it's difficult to reconcile that version of Neo with the one who would passively let her target take themselves out

Not to mention the semblance shift. Neo's semblance, Overactive Imagination, is illusions manifested via semblance glass. They shatter upon contact. Because they're illusions

That's the biggest deal breaker for me. Crwby changed her semblance so much she might as well be a whole ass other person. Fuck, it could've been an Afteran. It's not like Neo was needed here, especially with how easily she was discarded

Instead of illusions, Neo's new abilities seem to be... animorphing people/creatures she may or may not have met via semblance clones and allowing them sentience

Mcfucking what???

The point of illusions is they're not physical. It's not an actual transformation, but rather the aesthetic of one. This could have worked if they kept the semblance evolution to multiple illusions at once OR allowing physical transformation, either of which would have been super cool to see, but they pushed too far. There's too many upgrades that deviate so much from the original ability that it's a whole ass new power

So, immediately on her introduction, the og Jabber is killed(?) and in its place is... multiple Neo-Jabbers. Who can eat other creatures alive. And apparently desire to do so

McFUCJING WHAT

This implies that all her semblance clones of others have their own sentience. Which would never make sense when she never interacted with anyone in that torture scene besides Roman. Seriously why the fuck is Lionheart here? Give us nothing, king

Now, given that we are shown the stream of souls, what could have happened is the illusions were possessed by folks who needed to get a last word in, but that's not. what. happened.

Instead, we have the writers disregarding a character's inability to speak so they can brutalize a teenager in the stupidest way possible, and throwing away all logic of a fairly easy to understand power because it suits their plot needs

Riveting

[fluffybunnybadass]

give it up for day 5 of terrible/no sleep everybody! day 5!

[starlightsuffered]

Attention Slut

Info - degrading language, needy reader, Dom Timothée, making someone hard in public, jealousy, mention of kidnapping, a little cnc, being nude in front of ppl, face fucking, begging for sex, dry humping, car sex, bondage, hard Dom, denial, hair pulling, brat reader

The party was boring and Timothée looked so good. He knew when he wore those pants I got needy. I liked to mess with him, and it seemed like he needed to be reminded that I wasn't one to be innocent.

I got up and sat on his lap. I wiggled my ass. He stopped his conversation with the other celebrities. I smirked when I heard his voice catch.

"Mon amour, what are you doing?" He asked in a low growl. I smiled even wider and I rubbed myself against him more.

"Don't be a slut," he said with warning in his tone. That was a big mistake. He of all people should know how much it turned me on when hr called me a slut or a whore. I was one, for him anyway. I was utterly obsessed with him and I didn't mind making it known.

I was wild and feral for him. If he was always inside me I wouldn't mind. I was his, his little slut, and I made him feel good. I was the one who always let his thick cock spread my sopping folds and ram into me until we were both exhausted.

"What would you have me do when you look like that?" asked him. I ground down harder on his bulge.

He tried to speak to the person across from him, but I wasn't going to let him feel normal. I wiggled and rubbed.

He was alking carefully, over pronouncing each word so he didn't give away his lust. He hated when he was not in control. He hated how easily I riled him up.

"Angel girl," he purred. The other celebrity must've felt awkward before they'd gone away.

"We are still in public," he reminded me.

"So what," I scoffed.

His hands slowly moved to grip my hips. He was tempted, I knew he was. The pads of his fingers bruised me. He rutted his crotch upward.

I gasped with lust. My panties were soaking as he humped his clothed boner between my thighs. He was digging into my flesh. I heard the grit and grind of his teeth as he satiated a small bit of his need against my softness.

"You're so naughty," he said in my ear.

"Then take me in the bathroom and fuck me about it," I demanded, as I leaned back against him. I was heaving as the friction made me a mess of need.

"No, I have business to do."

"Timmy," | whined.

"No," he said abruptly and dumped me onto the couch. I was pissed. I knew he hated me having the upper hand, but leaving me entirely was not going to happen.

I went to talk to Austin. I slowly removed my tiny leather jacket, revealing more of my skin. I watched the man's eyes lingering on my shoulders, my clavicle, my neck, my expanse of legs.

"So what gave you the inspiration to play Feyd Rautha so...."

"Twisted?" He asked with a chuckle.

"No," I smirked. "So tempting."

He gulped noticeably. I smiled sweetly at him. I continued to compliment his work as I pulled my hair out of my pony tail. I made sure to lick my lips and touch his arm.

"We're going," I heard a voice say. A thrill went through me. I turned to see my boyfriend looking like and angel of death.

"Let's go," he snapped. His large hand curled around my arm and he pulled me along forcefully. His grip got tighter even when he heard my giggle of satisfaction.

We were in the car and he was speeding. He had a hand tight on the steering wheel. I noticed his firmly clenched jaw. I tried to pull one of his hands off and down to my aching pussy.

"Greedy bitch," he snarled and pulled himself away. It was fine. He could be that way if he wanted.

I shimmied my dress off. He could only see me from the corner of his eye because he had to drive. I pressed my ass, only covered by a small thong, against the window. I knew cars were seeing because I heard honking.

"You fucking whore," Timothée hissed and pulled me harshly so I fell back in my seat.

"Then pay attention to me," | pouted.

"Be patient," he demanded.

"I don't want to be, I want your dick. I want your hot, salty, cum," I told him, as I petted his arm.

"Don't hold your breath," he said with a wolf's grin.

I decided to take it to the extreme. I pulled open the sun roof and whipped my bra off. I stood up on the leather seat of his Tesla and I showed myself to the world. I let out a whoop of elevation as I shook my tits for all to see.

The car swerved to the right. It was all I could do to stay standing. I knew l'd have a bruise on my side come tomorrow, and I'd love it. I'd love the mark that meant my stubborn boyfriend couldn't take it a moment longer.

He needed me.

I was yanked down and thrown in the backseat like the victim of a kidnapping. I was beaming as his belt was clinking. It was slid deftly out of the loops and tightened around my thighs. All I wore now were sopping panties, and I was sure I looked a sight.

"You know I'm only allowed to see you like that," he growled.

"You know I love attention," I responded.

"I'll have to teach you a lesson then."

"I'm sure I'll love a lesson," I said, determined to misbehave.

"You want cum?" He asked with a fierce look.

"I said I did, didn't I?" | countered. He pulled his pants down roughly. It made me even more wet that he was practically fully clothed, but I was bound and naked.

He gripped me by the hair. He gave me a dark smirk as he lifted me. He had his pants down now. He slammed his cock down my throat. My eyes were watering immediately, but l wanted to be a good girl.

"That's it little slut. You said you wanted cock, so take it," he said as he thrust himself deep down my throat.

"Mmmf," I choked on the length.

"Such a whore, but I know it's me you really want. Trying to get other people's attention. I know you want me. I know it's all for me."

He was stuffing me full of his dick. It was slick between my thighs. He was snapping his hips with no care for me.

I hoped people saw how he punished his toy in his car. I hoped some paps caught us and labelled me as Chalamet's slut.

"Gagging love?" He asked in a mocking tone as spittle dribbled down my chin. Tears were messing up my mascara. I was burning up. I felt so turned on I began to hump the air. Timothée laughed at my pathetic display.

"Such a needy cock sucker," he crooned. He pulled my hair even harder. He was fucking my skull. He yanked my head back and forth to milk his dick. I was sure my throat must be bulging with it.

"Oh fuck. I'm gonna cum, take it slut," he ordered. Soon, the ropes of hot and salty cum were spewing down my throat. I obediently gulped down. I made eye contact with him.

"There we go, that should keep you satisfied until I have enough patience to deal with you," he snarled. He threw me back down and I was shocked that he climbed into the drivers seat.

"T-Timmy," | moaned, feeling cum drunk. I wanted to rub my stomach and have him touch me. I wanted to treasure the load but my legs were strapped together and I found it hard to move. I had a ring of milky cum around my mouth.

"Nope, stay there where I can keep an eye on you. When we get home, you'll get another punishment."

"Another?" I wailed, wondering how long it would take to get release.

"You saying you don't want my hands on you?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No-No sir," I said quietly.

"Then be a good pet and don't show off. Stay docile until I decide you deserve some help," he said with a drawl.

"Mhmm, yes sir."

[brinnanza]

drives me fuckin nuts when people use minority groups as examples for bad behavior in corporate literature like if you wanted to provide an example of sexual harassment where a turns down b for a date and b retaliates like number one you can do it like I just fucking did it and not gender it at all or like idk provide a better example???? something that actually could USE an example??? like frankly if you're gonna put people through sexual harassment training (which like :| but anyway) you might as well make it USEFUL and not just like. oh it's lesbians committing the sexual harrassment. for. woke??? like first of all they fully left out both gender identity and sexual orientation from the long list of things the county doesn't discriminate against and I was like "uh well" the hr lady/cop was like "well that's under sex" no the fuck it is not doreen like man. fuckin. sexual harassment training is stupid bullshit. hr is cops who will cut you loose AND this pARTICULAR hr lady was all like oooh let me tell you about this time i Nobly Saved some trans employee from being hatecrimed and yes I will continue to refer to this employee as a "he became a she" so um shut the fuck up actually

ALSO listen there were seven people in this room none of them cis male. at least two nonbinary people THAT I KNOW OF (one of them is me) and this bitch was like "we're all female here" first of all hey let's not make assumptions and second of all if you misgender me again I'll fucking kill you anyway my other nonbinary colleage was like "hey uh just saying like I know I'm read female but I actually use she/they pronouns and like I know what people assume but maybe we shouldn't assume?" and that was WAY nicer than I was willing to be because I'm tired of everyone assuming everything about everyone at what is truly the queerest rec center of all time

because ALSO. this room of seven people, two of whom are nonbinary, contains THREE LESBIANS. both the nbs. and a woman (for shorthand, yes I'm assuming) who refered to her fiance as "she" (which sure she could be bi that's not the point). but this hr bitch was like "you know how men have those pins ups ughhh and ladies you know we have the firefighters" and me and the other nb lesbian were just like "uhhhhh your experiences are not universal" like except for the token crazy example lesbians it was soooooo hetero and again AT LEAST 3 of the 7 people in this room are Actively Gay and that's not even getting into my whole weird gender thing like it's still a pussy to pussy situation you know what I mean

anyway. sexual harassment training is bullshit. if you are being harassed at work 1. document everything 2. look for another job because if hr has to choose between doing something annoying or firing the squeaky wheel, guaranteed they'll just kick you out. and it's legal because this state at least is an at-will employment state. which means the only way to prove retaliation is for them to attach a reason to your firing which they have no incentive to do. and also it's easier to string you along and make you quit

the point is I fucking hate hr okay fuck hr

[hollow-lime-green]

Oh my God you’re Indian! In Indian(ish)! (It’s complicated.) I only know like one other Indian person so I always get so excited when I hear about/meet more. If you don’t mind me asking, what part of India are you/your family from?

Indian(ish) works for me too, actually. :)

I am half Indian (second generation) and half white. My Indian side is Bengali (in the way that cultural identities are very soupy and the borders in that region move constantly, rendering national identity... complicated, yeah) by way of Kolkata. My white side is from the Southern US. It's a fun mix.

More thoughts below the cut, both on being mixed race and also on Indian/Asian Woman rep.

Oh and I know Sevika chose that final haircut but it's still a hate crime (lesbian + Indian + woman + L + ratio). We support women's wrongs but god this one's hard for me.

I have a lot of thoughts on being mixed race, but none that are applicable to the fic I'm currently writing lmao, so I don't talk about it much here. For a lot of reasons (the short version is my parents are much more progressive than my Indian grandparents), I didn't learn a lot about my Indian culture from my family, and it's something I'm going back to work on as an adult. Like, I cook a toooon of Asian food, primarily Japanese and Korean, and I wouldn't cook Indian food for years because I didn't want to do it wrong and no one ever taught me how.

But despite my identity definitely being Indian(ish), not Indian, that's not what (white) people tend to perceive lol. I get all the fun parts of being a visible minority AND a deep impostor syndrome about my own identity.

When I was in UG, I was having lunch with a bunch of full Indian girlies (international students, so also Indian nationality), and I said "oh by the way guys I'm mixed race I'm not actually full Indian", and this bitch said "WE KNOW".

Which like yeah. And tbh it was funny, and I laughed about it then (also I was the only American and by god it is obvious when you are American in Canada). But it did sure reinforce my Issues.

Anyway Symmetra overwatch is a queen slay girl slay however she is also the most stereotypical character you could possibly create for your Indian Representation. Except maybe Karma in League lmao, who is, though in a different way, also the most stereotypical character you could-

One Indian(ish) character I really really love is Zoe Castillo from Dreamfall/The Longest Journey (super deep cut, but I am obsessed with this series). Zoe is the first protagonist I ever saw that looked a lot like me. Which is to say not only Indian(ish) woman but also modern. That series also has another Indian character who I love deeply because she is a horrible ableist asshole (with redeeming qualities in my opinion) and I love that she gets to be that.

Sevika I love because she really counters the stereotype of, like, what is essentially Machiavellianism as power, that I find prevalent in Winning Asian Woman rep. If Mel were the Indian one solving problems with politics and smart I would bash my brains in. Like, yes, it is cool to use your brains to solve the problem. I love smart characters. But if your writer brain can only comprehend Asian Women Winning because they smarted around the problem, that's still racist. Sevika punches the problem. She also has a good head on her shoulders, but that is purely incidental and a bonus as she punches the problem.

There are some other examples of buff Asian women, I don't want to seem like I think Sevika is groundbreaking, she's just rare and I'm giving Kudos. Amara Borderlands 3 might be good rep but I have to be honest, I could not get through more than like 15 hrs of BL3 because the rest of it is dog ass. I will eventually return to it (maybe).

[dailyautophagy]

Thank fuck the election is over soon

And thank fuck we have off next Monday

11/11 make a wish day wish for work off you got it dude

And also thank fuck for the lil Read MORE options because these walls of text are about to get more frequent I guess lol

I can’t make someone want to hang out with me so I just don’t lol you wanna stare at me then yay you wanna stare at screens then BET lol I can too

Granted I don’t have a weird cyber video chat room thing to interact with so i ramble at tumblr but

I mean I washed my clothes I made breakfast and dinner I did the things I was supposed to do lol and then he’ll get offended when I reject his penis offering later like bitch iiiii again don’t like feeling like I have a child so im not gonna be tryna touch penis lol he don’t be remembering shit like bud you gotta get off Obamacare lol that shoulda been done months ago lol I can’t write in your PCP name because I don’t know it and I can’t bring the papers to your HR lol so like you have to fucking do it. 😑 child behavior like no wonder I do not want kids lol already got a manchild

BUT U DISHRESS

So if you type in all caps your phone (or my phone lol) doesn’t be correcting the mf spelling errors?

SO YOURE SAYING EVERYINE WILL KNIW JOW KUCH I JUST FAT FINGER MY FUCKING KEYBOARD AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT JT

nice

that’s fun

I mean besides the IM YELLING KIND OF A LITTLE BIT ASPECT ITS ORETTY NEAT

im not yelling by the way lol

I CANT CONTROL THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE

I miss Robin Williams

Mrs Doubtfire hits different as an adult

Like as a kid when they’re at dinner at the end and he’s changing back and forth for his business dinner and his family dinner and you’re like holy shit that’s intense and he forgot he had lipstick on cause of all the switching around …

But as an adult you’re like oh he’s just shit faced lol

So basically I melted (warped, really) the side of one of my 5 gallon jug water bottle things and it was empty so it doesn’t matter that much but I hate plastic despite how useful

Water in and of itself doesn’t really “leach” plastic but our salvia does - it can break it down and then we got it in us lol

Yo Neal Brennan is silly he said all brown people or black people or indigenous people can pray to their ancestors and all us white people should never lol and he is kinda right

I am not saying I started trauma flexing but I think I was the first person to be like “why can’t i brag about an abortion the same we people brag about pregnancy” I used to have a hefty liberal mindset lol i mean i do still kinda think a fetus can’t exist without you so you’re kind of a host so like.. not murder to the degree murdering a thing that actually exists yet just the potential lol but you can’t give someone the ingredients for a cake and say happy birthday lol i mean you can but WORK has to be done before it’s a real thing so like

Anyway the military kills strangers and men fight tooth and nail to defend the right to kill people who are in their homes without their consent or knowledge or whatever so I think women should be able to kill someone in their body without their consent or knowledge or whatever lol bill burr and louis ck takes on the issue but they are both right

And if you pretend to care about climate change guess what / it is preferred if you don’t make more carbon footprints lol

And another thing lol just from a logistics standpoint … the people who are like “don’t kill babies” are generally religious and republican and white …. It’s mostly brown/black people doing abortion and ALL are mostly democrats so like why do you want them to not?? More competition later? You love the colored babies but not once they’re adults? I don’t get it lol just again bc logistically you want less of those types anyway and this has been helping that so like

Whatever

I am sleepy

He has stopped cackling lol i will rest my head and see how it goes

Unions are good? Or nah?

NATO is bad and nato kinda feels like a union 😂

I’m not saying smart things it’s okay I don’t have to say smart things all the time

I don’t even have to say true things lol im not speaking directly to anyone and therefore I ain’t really lying

The sky is green and grass is blue and shoes go on your hands

Oh no did we die

Not yet

Not

Just

Yet

[feralparsnip]

the thing about that post that's like 'some ppl would excuse littering what if i didn't have the spoons to throw it away' is that like

a post like that that i can think of that personally upset me was the one about putting your shopping cart back. like, before i had my wheelchair i physically could not do that. but i had to use the cart. bc there usually wasn't a functioning motor cart available. and i had to eat. and i definitely couldn't carry it like i couldn't even rly walk the length of the store

i didn't leave the shopping cart in the parking lot because i have never suffered and i hate service workers. part of the reason i could not put the cart back is that sitting up to work at a parking garage was at that time wrecking my body and health i physically was being pushed past my limits by sitting in an ok chair for 8 hrs a day. i could not do it.

and i deserve to live, is the thing. i deserved to live at my sickest. it fucking sucks for the guy who had to get the cart. i put it back whenever i could. i tried to place it where it wouldn't dent any cars or anything when i couldn't make it all the way back. i fell so many times putting the cart back that i learned sometimes i should simply not try bc not only would i fail anyway, i'd be hurt and then couldn't even shop next week. believe me i felt for the cart guy. i have been the cart guy. i may one day yet again be the cart guy. but my struggling w/ the inaccessibility of Grocery Shopping is not the source of the plight of the cart guy. the cart guy and me probably have more struggles in common than not

like it's so obscenely cruel to look at somebody doing something that personally annoys you and assuming it's a sign of their fundamental moral degeneracy. like yes it can be annoying to play the endless what about game. but sometimes it is you being the jackass and disabled ppl objecting to it. do you see me.

like you get to complain!!! dealing with what aboutism forever is exhausting and i'm not saying u gotta engage!! but sometimes what you are bitching about is one more point of acid in the miasma sea of people Being Evil About Shit You Are Already Doing Your Best About and sometimes idk. i might be moved to comment sharply on what You thought was an Innocent Bitching. like you could have not framed it in terms of moral degeneracy is my thing. like are you seeing it yet

[kingtankgirl]

i do hate that whenever i show ppl my jewelry their first response is to always ask if ill make them something which is like. its FINE i like making things for the people i love but this shit takes several hoursss and Lots of materials (good rings arent cheap). anyway this isnt @ anyone here its literally just my boss who wont stop pestering me like i already give u 40+ hrs of my time a week now u want me to spend 6+ hrs making u a necklace too? bitch?

[golbrocklovely]

bruh they probably both look so pretty going down… 🥰

imagine looking down and seeing their fluffy hair and them blue eyes looking back up… your hand in their hair… if im jealous of these girls for anything its that visual 🥰🥰 but also hella proud. take a mental photo of that ish

lmfao nah fr idk why people are hating. that tiktok was cringe but its not anything to write home about. the drama is dismal when i get to the bottom of it. it really is just pressed stans at this stage having a winge.

and like i said to xplrvibes… im disappointed. Bc ive had a long week and i needed something spicy and mindless to lose a few hrs to and i had high expectations from what i saw on twitter… 😂 like wake me up when something real goes down - aussie anon

aussie anon, nice to see you again haha

and yes i imagine they both look very… pretty… going down on girls lol

might have to write something about that sksks

but anyways…

the drama with k only gets more dumb bc of one clip from her live the other night. her friend read out a comment that said "(her friend's name) and kat", referring to the two of them, and k went "kat, that's not my name." and now fans are overreacting and saying that she was shading kat.

i would just like the pose the question of… would you like to be called your bf's ex's name? exactly. no you wouldn't. just bc she didn't say it with a smile doesn't mean she was being a bitch or shady.

i genuinely don't get this fandom most times. they complain about there being drama all the time, but then will literally lose it over stuff like this. like, YALL are the problem, you do know that right?

if you don't like k, that's fine. you do you. i'm not here telling you how you should feel. i'm just saying that the hate, from someone that doesn't give a fuck about the girl one way or the other, seems a little unjustified. but do what you want i guess. i'm sure snc love seeing yall hate their girls lmao

[oliviasturniolo21]

HIII ML HOW ARE YOU

thank you for accepting me as 🎀 anon you're in for a lot of drama and gossip about the people i hate (you don't even know them but eh 🤞😝)

there was this one girl in my school she was like the biggest pick me bitch istg i would physically hurt her if i could and that's a lot considering im usually a calm person 😭😭 so she turned 18 a few days ago but she was talking to this rich guy for almost two years now!!!! crazy if you have only one situationship which lasts 2+ years this guy stays in another city, a city which is like 8 hrs of train away his dad is apparently a politician and owns a club so this guy is always i mean always in the club let's call the girl vee and the guy ray so vees older sister stays in the same city as the guy and through the sister vee and ray got to know each other. ray is 27, turning 28 this year and keep in mind that vee has been talking to him since last two years HE WAS 26 AND TRYING TO GET IN A 16 YR OLDS PANTS?????? TOTALLY CRAZY IF YOU ASK ME BUT MY OPINION REALLY DOESN'T MATTER HERE 👎👎 and ray posts really uncomfortable and scandalous pictures with new girls every two days on instagram 😟😟😟 (mom i'm scared) idk how and why vee is still talking w him it's clear that he doesn't give a fuck about vee he's been seeing others but this girl omg she has made ray her entire personality i mean you're seeing the crazy photos he posts everyday he's not having those girls over to play chess yk what's happening yet she always goes around talking about how ray and her are the couple goals (gurl😹😹😹)

fun fact her parents have almost disowned her elder sister which is so not common in my culture so i lowkey wanna know what shit the elder sister pulled 😭🙏

anyways, how was your dayyyy

🎀 (so coquette omg)

I’m so sorry i took a nap and just saw this now lmao😭 BUT OMGGG, WOW. (i love the drama so y’all gotta keep updating me 🫶)

[stressedlawsecretary]

Today's Focus

11.20.23 - I hate that it's actually getting colder finally but at least today is sunny. Think I overdid it on the foot this weekend though because it hurts like a bitch today.

Work - I have a new case for JMK that has to go into NYM and get a physical file, and CSB asked me on Friday to mail stuff when I was back in the office so I'm going to knock those out and be done with it. I'm only physically here two (2) days this week anyway.

Background Noise - I start the day with like 98 videos on my Watch Later. I only got through like four (4) YT videos over the weekend so I gotta motor on some of this today.

Study - It's Monday so it's case law day. I have the goals set as such:

H.C. Strider's testimony at the Emmett Till murder trial

303 Creative LLC v. Elenis - both the Wiki article and the decision on Justia

At least three (3) articles related to feral horses in Australia

At least three (3) articles related to Moms for Liberty

At least five (5) pages of HR 5376

Finish complaint 01719

I, once again, forgot my list of what I did over the weekend, but I know that I:

Read about four (4) feral horse articles

Read about four (4) Moms for Liberty articles

Read the three (3) saved Wiki articles I set as a goal

Read about four (4) horror movie Wiki pages

Read about six or seven (6-7) Wiki pages open on my phone.

So I did good!

Extras - I am screwing up my chores lol but I'm only cooking three days this week due to the holiday so. When I get home I'll have to vacuum, and cook the Amish beef & noodles, but I don't think I have much else to do. Hopefully that means I can relax, even though I know I'm writing another rant today.

[meme-loving-stuck]

Why shouldnt I charge you $20+ for each hour of work that commission took for me?

You know what I learned from having a slightly more interactive audience on tumblr? My worth as a skilled, educated artist is WAY FUCKING MORE than I ever imagined.

The amount of times I've had people bitch about my prices, just small shit like buttons/stickers/etc, AND the one time I had someone tag that i "had raised the prices of my commissions when [i] haven't really improved much"... (lol. lmao even) is SO appalling. Even if you're an artist— nay. ESPECIALLY if you're the type of artist to self-hate-dump on your own art!— you all need to learn to respect other artists' TIME and EFFORT. Not even to mention the cost of materials!

Do you know what a middle-management job pays in California? (Where we have very strict labor laws, mind you, and minimum wage is above $15 in many counties.) The cost of insurance, a car, weekly gas? Any idea what the cost of living in California is? How about medical expenses; specialists, orthodontics, and necessary surgeries, chronic pain conditions? Look into it.

No, seriously, look it up. Specialty shops that push sales like Sheikh, Spencers, Icing. Management pay. The minimum hours required. The lack of structured schedules. Then, consider what kind of free time a skilled artist who has to work full-time and only do art on the side actually has for making art for fun. There's not a lot of it! And that's for fun, not for pay.

So, if I can go to my job for 8 hrs straight, do my "easy" retail shit, day in and day out, five days a week and get paid $5+ above minimum wage in my state... and my art requires MORE WORK and EFFORT and MATERIALS than my job— my art is important, it's an extension of myself...

Why shouldnt I charge you $20+ for each hour of work that commission took for me?

Or for each hour it takes to design, print, cut, and laminate (by hand!) each sticker? How long it takes to assemble a piece of jewelry with tiny, finicky tools and precision?

My time is obviously worth that much, if that's what a soul-sucking retail job will pay me to run a store. My current prices don't even touch that above rate btw, and still people have the nerve to complain. Really thinking on it taught me a lesson. If people arent willing to pay my current, fine! I don't have time for a small pile of commissions anyway. Go commission someone else for it, or make it your damn self.

I'm never, ever lowering my prices for doubt of my worth as an artist again. If you see some art you want and can't afford it, shut the fuck up and don't guilt-trip the artist about their rates. It's just insulting.

[neonstatic]

i'm struggling, like, a lot. i mean, i've always struggled. one thing abt me: i be strugglin' 😎 it feels like every time someone of trust asks me how i'm doing, i'm either saying i'm fine (in the most plain sense of the term) or say i'm tired. i'm always tired. i get my 8 hrs and i'm tired. i get 5 hrs and i'm tired. i sleep 12 hrs straight and i'm still tired. idek if it's physical or mental. i'm just. tired. my mom's noticed and said i should see our doc. i think it's more than just physical tho.

should i go to therapy? i've tried six yrs ago at uni. hated that bald bitch. it has more to do w me than him, probably. i didn't know what i wanted out of it and i refused to go to the queer support group he suggested to me (my brain was deeply rotten from online discourse at the time) and i was just angry and stressed abt school and we only had 3 sessions together. i remember talking abt being gay and mentioning my older sister being a total bitch to me... (we're good now) i can't tell you more than that. oh and i was getting headaches from trying to maintain eye contact. it's all v blurry. these sessions felt like a test more than anything and i was just not ready. you have to be receptive to therapy or it just won't work.

idk that i'll ever feel ready tho. it's not just that i can't open up for shit. it's also an ego thing. i've studied psychology then dropped out and it'd sting to sit across from someone who succeeded to do what i couldn't. cus they're intelligent and driven, and i am a fkg dumbass or wtv. i think i'll just sit here and be on the defensive half of the time. and i'd have to unpack some ableism i got in me brains (like, two yrs ago in winter i was having some very...interesting cognitive processes, and when a friend/coworker asked me if i was fine cus i literally had a dark cloud of energy hanging around me, i just snapped, "yeah i'm fine. what, do i look crazy? you think i'm crazy or smth? i'm not fkg crazy." which was a crazy response fr.)

anyway i'm thinking abt therapy. bc i've been feeling this miserable for a decade and there's an employee program i could benefit from if i wished to. and i think that if i quit my job in the current state i'm in, i won't be able to find another job. short-term therapy might help a lil the second time around. plus it'd be free. but idk that i should/can/deserve it. ahhhh i annoy myself

[brilovesyou]

IM BACKKKKKK

Its been a long as time since i’ve been here on tumblr. I would come on here in my teenage years horny looking for sex edits and videos of hard penis. I am very great at long story shorts so let me go ahead and give a summary of the last 7 years since 2016. 

I graduated high school , didn’t go to college was broke. Got hella jobs because I was a barista from 2017 -2018 ; 2018 in November I went to Amazon. Was lit cause amazon had the bag back then. $15/hr 4-5 hour shifts and im what 19/20 with my friends. It was lit as fuck. 2019 my dad passed my first year of college and I failed all those damn classes. I was studying Biology & that shit is very hard. I lost all my motivation due to my dad being a dead ass. I met my highschool crush , he went through my then best friend to get my snapchat so he could be my guy. Jalen is someone I never would have thought to look my way because looks are deceiving. Jalen is one year older than me and he was a star football player when we were in high school. I was just a nerd, so I didn’t even know he knew I existed. Jalen is the best guy ever and we are still together. COVID came 2020 and cleaned the fucking earth, rest in peace to all fallen souls. COVID was a silent killer and I too had caught COVID from my sister in which i didn’t have any symptoms ; I too can be a silent killer. I hated to know i was asymptotic whatever the fuck and I am glad same time. My sister was sick as fuck when she had it and it was bold. I am vaccinated , no booster foh , only got vaccinated because I had to go to JA for 2022 ; my mother got married to Gerald. Gerald is lit and has two daughters, Sierra & Sadyah . Sierra has my second neph King who is 2 years old now. I love my new extended family, they are lit. Anyways during covid I stopped working at amazon because they fired me LMAO. Anyways my bud got me this WFH  job with the State of Michigan and I worked there from 2020- 2021. Job was hell but i had to be employed wtf, i was making $15/hour and after a year of claimants telling me im a stupid bitch and know nothing I got a raise to $18/hr. I was a temp worker with Robert Half so they sent me to a new project when covid “ ended “.  I was sent to Centene to do Dental Insurance and I’ve been working there since 2021- 2023 which is current. I make $21.08 and it is pretty lit fr. I live in an apartment with Jalen and my two cats. I WFH, have a catering business , a nail business and new ServSafe Certification. Still in cc working towards my culinary degree, i finally decided to follow my dreams instead of the ones i thought would make my parents happiest. I have clientele with food & nails. Need riches so me & Jalen can be married & buy our trucks & house

[rainbow-bowtie]

i put this in the tags of a different post but i wanted to elaborate but also not vent on someone else’s post so anyway. the reasons this hasn’t been my day week month or year.

so far this year (it is currently feb 13):

i was in a car accident. it was very much not my fault. it was my first accident. it was a hit and run. insurance was being a bitch about this and i almost had to pay four times the deductible. originally i was told my car would be repaired in three weeks. when they started dismantling they found More Damage and totaled it. insurance is only covering the rental until monday. i won’t get the money for my car until tuesday at the earliest

i had jury duty. the day after the accident. i’ve never had jury duty before and i couldn’t even drive myself. i literally practiced driving to the courthouse the previous weekend bc i hate driving downtown. i tried to claim the “i’m a college student” exemption but i don’t qualify bc my program is entirely online and i don’t attend classes between 8-5 on weekdays. bc i don’t attend classes. at all. i have a full time job i’m not spending my evenings in a lecture hall tyvm. that’s the entire reason i chose the program i did

for context, i work as an instructional assistant in an elementary classroom for students with special needs. one of my students has rather aggressive behaviors. said student scratched the shit out of me the same week as all this other bullshit. i had to go to urgent care. admin took one look at me and said “go home” and i said “i cant i don’t have a car bc i haven’t had time to go get the rental yet.” i had to wait for my mother to take me home

to add to that one. my student caught a mole on my back and nearly tore it off. i had to go to urgent care. i had to file a workers comp claim. i’m still dealing with the shit from that two weeks ago

my legal name change went through (yippee!!). now i just have to order the court documents, get my social changed, get a new license, get a new passport (lol. lmao. i don’t think that’s gonna go well at all), go through the hr bullshit at my job and my school and actually get that shit changed everywhere

i’m still so fuckin mad about my car. just constantly mad about my car. that was my first car. i finished paying it off last spring. i got all new tires less than a year ago. i put new wiper blades on a week before the wreck. i have cried so much about this car i love it so much. i miss it so much. i called her led zeppelin bc of the plate. i want my zeppelin back dammit

my therapist canceled two (2) appointments. one because of a planned vacation, one because my therapist was sick. i go weekly. there’s only been like 8 weeks of the year so far. insane

my program does 6 month terms year round rather than semesters with winter and summer breaks like a traditional four year. my new term was supposed to start february 1st. it didn’t because there were some issues getting my term plan approved. i lost a weeks worth of study time, and i know doesn’t sound like much, but my program is entirely self paced. my first course this term is one i am very good at and know a lot about. i could have been done with this class in that one week

add all that to the usual stresses of a college student, a physically, emotionally, and mentally draining job, having to wake up at five am for said job, and The State Of The World In General, and the only emotion i have felt this year is Tired. i’m so numb to everything i lost my wallet and didn’t feel anything

[aventurineswife]

im aboutta pass out 😭

i got like 7 hrs of sleep (i need 9 to function) and i had a band concert today

i couldnt take a goddamn nap when i got home from school 😭

anyway i just showered so i cant go to mfing bed

my night was fun tho!

gonna hate school in the morning

my concert was the ONLY thing that got me running this week :3

-:3 anon

💀oh damn... That sounded like a stressful night.

At least you had fun, that's all that matters! 🫶

Also my net is being a bitch so I can't answer properly💀