#and i cringed all the way home
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new look, new you!
original : X
#BRO THE OG SHIT WAS FROM ALL THE WAY IN 2020 I SLEEP#don't look at the old one it's cringe#splatoon#splatoon 2#octo expansion#agent 3#oc: ananke#I had this sketch sitting in my wip folder for weeks now and I finally 'finished' it due to still being stuck at home sick lmao#now I kinda wanna redraw a lot of other stuff I did in 2020...hm...#my art shit
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Secret Santa for @stargloom 💪
#kami art#bloodlines#danganronpa#fanganronpa#dr#usami nanami#kojika iruma#haiiiiii * runs around *#sorren * grabs you * i was so embarrassed to send an ask about it but#i listened to three days grace over and over while drawing this#i dint know if you think tdg is cringe or if u dont like them#but they are so#home + scared + without you + now or never + world so cold + nothings fair in love in way#<- all by three days grace PLEASE trust me. or i might be wrong idk#honestly even 'one too many' by tdg also#give me a reason also. that ones too good to leave out
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#oh god. just a tiny small rant but like. sometimes i wanna draw things for a particularly cursed fandom#and its like no nonononono no. stop. i literally cannot hear that name without a full body cringe. y tf would#u still wanna draw that stuff??? but like when i was 1st getting into drawing anime it was the 1st fandom i really engaged with outside of#bleach. so i have SO much nostalgia for it. god but its so cursed. and like its silly and thr ways i engaged with it#were fun and silly but like even when i got into hs i had some awareness that hm something feels weird abt the set up of this show... like#the perspective here is kinda fucked. and now as an adult i am so horrified and fascinated by this weird monstrosity of a series. HOLY FUCK.#i bet is still have one of the manga editions at home. oh GOD. i hate it.#here ill say something thatll clue u in on what fandom im talking abt and if u kno u kno (derogatory)#sometimes when im watching the english dubs of other anime. ill hear a voice actor and be like. this voice. this voice is so familiar. why#am i hearing this voice talk with an italian accent? and then i am hit by a wave of revulsion#but then i think of all the terrible fanart i used to draw and im like oh it would b fun to redraw that. but noooo. stop. stop it. i hate u#the curse of nostalgia for a wretched piece of media#unrelated
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idg bullies bc if you think someone is committing some sort of social sin... why aren't u stepping in to help them, why are you watching them fuck up? clearly its important enough to you that you try to socially punish the fellow, if this is a social cause you are so very impassioned about, why not help that person not fuck up?
or... did you just want to laugh at someone fucking up? bc at that point you're providing nothing to anyone besides just being an asshole but hey ig some people are proud of their assholes so
#to me its just an unnecessary energy#like i have shit to do i have chores to go home and get to why are you wasting both of our time being an ass#what is this doing for anyone besides fueling your narcissism#cool bud happy for you and your fleeting superiority complex as soon as i leave the room#i wonder how you make yourself feel like you're better than everyone when im not around- oh yeah its bc you go online#and spread your disease-like assholery elsewhere so then everyone becomes an asshole and no ones happy#no one can be sincere... everything hidden under a million layers of irony... stuffing every last emotion down bc emotions are cringe#or whatever...#idk. i dont like the artificiality of every social interaction these days. i feel like the only genuine ppl i meet are like. old ladies lol#everyones always got some sort of scheme or some shit... older ladies only care about talking about tea n knitting n shit#you think an old lady has any reason to be shitting on anyone? when shes probably living her best lil humble life?#theyre old they dont have the energy or time to hate anymore all they wanna see are things to love and hey i think everyone should#try to see the world that way. they know they dont got a lot of time left so they're more appreciative and nicer (usually)#you never know when you'll run out of time so why not start appreciating now?#why spread hate when you can be love. cheesy but its true
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#me when i have a BA in writing and also massive writer's block#i really want to write some tos fic obviously but everything just feels wrong#i guess i'm just intimidated by how much trek fic is out there and how many people have probably done the same ideas far better than me#like i know that's stupid and i should just be free but it's really REALLY getting in my way#i just feel like everything i write is cringe and sounds like smth a 14 yr old would write even though i know i'm a good writer#(again. looks at degree.)#but still#plus i have no inspiration to finish editing heaven on their minds because. well. it's not star trek.#and i'm also applying to grad school right now and have to provide writing samples ofc but all i've written over the last year is fanfic#and i have no ideas for anything original and i don't want to submit smth from over a year ago (from when i was still in school)#because it doesn't represent my writing now#i know i can just revise smth but I Have No Motivation#idk this week has also been so busy so by the time i get home and have time to write i just don't#uuugggghhhh#plus i'm waiting for a job to get back to me about my application and long story short it's been 3 months since i started the application#process and i'm still waiting#i know i'm going to get the job because i know the woman who's hiring me but i have to be approved by the government yadda yadda yadda#whatever dude whateevveerr#brb drowning my sorrows by reading spones fic#my only emotional escape has been wanting to fuck spock and bones i mean what#personal#delete later
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my mum: you've been doing really good lately. every part of your life is really stable and you seem genuinely happy, it's great to see :)
me, who's felt like ive been going actually crazy bananas insane for months now: yeah haha
#sometimes i forget that 'being in total control of my emotions at all times' isn't just my cringe lore & is actually something im good at#like wdym my MUM said this. girl im experiencing horrors over here!#i got really offended by it? ilke i just smiled at her and agreed but inside i was like HELLOOOOO CAN ANYONE HEAR MEEEE#i just genuinely feel like i am so detached from myself and im entirely manipulative and i micromanage every facet of my personality#and change it day-to-day person-to-person and not in the Normal Human Way but in a crazy insane I Am Manipulating People Way#& it's a CONSCIOUS thing & like. idk who the real me is idk if there is a real me idk if id like her if i saw her idk if im a good person#but i look like im doing fine. i seem really stable and happy atm according to the person who knows me better than anyone#like that's the extent of my control on myself. even my mum cant tell. HUH#idk i feel like im being dramatic bc last week and this week ive definitely been feeling a lot better#and like maybe i was just having some sort of months-long episode but that doesnt negate the fact that while i was IN it no one could tell#not even the closest people to me that see me every day in the same house where im most vulnerable could tell#that's like. worrying surely. maybe. i think. whatever im just saying shit at this point#i always do this tho i go 'i fundamentally base my self-worth on how little i share vulnerability with people#and it's been a constant part of my personality since childhood that i dont talk about my feelings' and then i get SO pissed off#when people dont realise im going through shit. like girl what did you THINK was gonna happen. look inwards#hella goes home
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Another quirk to Warmhoney Steppe fic that I’ve been writing over the course of a year on and off (that I never talk about lol) that I’m only just noticing is the overabundance of fish metaphors I’m sorry I’m like this 😶
#and like. warmhoney culinary adventures#i say writing over the course of a year like it isn't like 7k words#i am slow and it's so overindulgent in a lot of ways that only i specifically understand that i die of mania and cringe every time i write#one sentence or line of dialogue i am not kidding#me writing this fic is like watching a home cook in very amateur ways prepare 500 different ingredients like growing your own cilantro in#the backyard for one ingredient and keeping bees for the other ingredient and cultivating strawberries so that when it is strawberry season#in 7 months they will be the very best strawberries and it's like this chef is putting WAY too much effort into preparation and for what. to#throw all that shit together in a stew and it's like. do these ingredients really go together. what is the chef DOING#nobody understands what the chef has made and do not know at all if it is even good but the chef seems happy...#yeah that's me with this fic
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the absolute vicious shit people think they have to say whenever the topic of 'picky eaters' comes up ESPECIALLY when it's about children is just sickening
#post : my child doesn't like carrots so I#rando : WELL I WOULD JUST *describes a thousand different ways to abuse a child* AND IM THE NORMAL ONE HERE#adult : i can't eat fish because#rando : LMAO GROW UP WHAT ARE YOU 5 FUCKING IDIOT LOL JUST STARVE FISH HAS GOOD VITAMINS JUST KYS#have y'all tried not being dicks about other people's diets ffs#especially when it's like. a video showing how a parent is successfully introducing new foods to their picky kid#like Oh they only like cheese crackers so i'm gradually nudging them towards grilled cheese sandwiches with these steps#and then hopefully use the grilled cheese as a base to introduce other types of sandwiches etc#and it's just. it works. it's respectful of the kid's boundaries. it's healthy.#and Still a thousand people just jump to say INSTEAD OF DOING THIS THING THAT WORKS TRY BEATING HIS ASS (WHICH WONT WORK)#so many people are fucking eager to tell you they Love violence against kids who have no way to defend themselves#that they're fucking sludgebrains who haven't come up with actual parenting techniques#so all they know is ''hit child'' or ''yell'' like a fucking level 1 pokémon#that they view the small young people they have agreed to take care of as dolls that must obey or get thrown against the wall in a tantrum#if your entire plans for parenting are ''i'm just gonna use violence until my human toything complies'' don't become a fucking parent#Anyway this was about picky eating and how people don't know how to mind their business about it#why are you so pressed about what someone else Doesn't put in their mouth. why are you so weird#humans come with a variety of tastes in anything from fashion to colors to home decor to favorite animal#and you can't fucking fathom that they'll also Not all want or like to eat the same things ? fucking cringe
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Hello everyone, my name is M.
Last edited: May 31, 2024
I’m a 21 year old Trans man (He/They) with an interest in a lot of nerdy stuff. I haven’t been on tumblr in a hot minute so be patient with me. I have an artist partner @bloodstar666 ❤️ (we are poly lol)
I’m a film student currently. I do bad drawings and semi ok writing (please don’t repost or sell anything of mine or steal you boozy). I might post some of my stuff but I’m here to eat your fan art and OC’s. I would also appreciate friendships.
I also have a Twitter.
My main interests are (in no particular order):
Five Nights at Freddy’s (especially the characters sun and moon)
Homestuck
Spooky Month (Bob fanclub)
Welcome Home
Creepypastas
Pressure
Poppy playtime
Ghost the band
Clowns (not a fandom but you know)
Horror (especially movies)
(If you want a more detailed list of interesting, I’ll leave it at the end. But these are the ones that live in my head rent free currently)
Go ahead, I’m cringe, I don’t care for rude comments. I will delete/block.
Oh yeah, I have DID (before claiming I’m fake, I’m diagnosed so shut up, not that it’s really your business anyway), as well as having a slew of other mental disorders/disabilities which is not the point of this page so please don’t ask me about it. Mixed with the ADHD, I can’t remember shit. I don’t mean to offend by forgetting to respond to anything or suddenly disappearing for months, that’s just how it be.
Other interests:
Anime, animation (kids and adults), video games (especially horror), tv and movies, musicals, cryptids, Pokemon, YouTube, amazing digital circus, Bluey, cuphead, gravity falls, owl house, studio ghibli, hell of a boss & hazbin kinda, over the garden wall, don’t starve, arcane, goosebumps, invader zim, my little pony, mystery skulls animated, fictional characters, baking, writing, drawing (physical and digital), juggalo, crochet, metal music, alternative fashion (especially gothic), plushies and collectibles, and human rights.
#sun and moon fnaf#fnaf#fnaf security breach#homestuck#fandom#spooky month#bob velseb#welcome home#creepypasta#poppy playtime#clown#the band ghost#horror#cringe but free#animation#video games#horror games#tv shows#movies#cryptid#youtube#goosebumps#pokemon#invader zim#dont starve#msa#hahaha I’m extremely mentally ill and stuck looking at fan art as a way to cope with all of my problems#don’t mind the tags guys Im working on myself in therapy#I just want to hug and or smooch silly little characters (adults)#let me cope
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working on some cheebs
#technically a redraw of some old cheebs. which were also redraws of older ones. the cycle continues#i wish i had a way to make stickers at home </3 i meant to buy stuff for that a few months ago but i kept forgetting#cant even make shrinky dinks rn. Cringe#i need to start screenshotting every rebellion i sketch bc they all look. so stupid LMFAO
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#this thought just hit me and it’s not shade just a fact lol#but i see all these people on ig talking about decorating/designing their kid’s rooms#and i just. the IDEA that my parents would’ve put that much thought into our room when we were kids is…. absurd???#i was a menace#i drew on walls#i chewed up toys#i carved into the bed frame#we had a bunk bed a second hand desk a chest of drawers each and plastic boxes for toys etc#everything was mismatched and very erhm lived in#it gives me so much anxiety i physically cringe to think abt what it would’ve been like had my room been decorated and had fancy wall papers#and expensive matching furniture and godddd#i would’ve ruined it all and felt so bad and it would’ve been such a waste of time and energy and money#(i got my own lovely 90s decorated room w green wallpaper w i was nine and GOD the way i spent ages 9-18 decorating and redecorating that#room - but at nine i was a lot less mayhemish#anyways that’s besides the point)#i just realized i’ve never thought abt this before and that (mostly) women spend so much time on something that would’ve made no sense in#my home#(also parents being too involved w their kid’s own space makes me claustrophobic- i wanted A LOT of alone time and needed my own space#and the concept of my parents controlling my playing OR what happened in our room makes me stress sweat#oh boy this is rambly and i’m so happy i don’t have kids haha#)
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Xina/Miguel + casual touch has ME screaming crying throwing up actually.
#like. augh. miguel who’s not. used to being overly physically affectionate holding xina#<- also side note the infamous holding her shoulders from behind pose is soooooooo early 20s miguel in his first love not being sure if it#will be accepted TO ME#xina’s bold and unashamed w her affection but also like shdjfj I bet she used to teasingly poke and prod him in the side#she’ll move him if he’s in the way in the kitchen or some shit#just literally casually lift his arm up to grab something behind him or some shit#I bet she’s a casual affectionate kisser considering she’s also a cuddler in canon#like give him a quick kiss on the shoulder as she leaves cause she’s not going to crane her neck all the way up at the crack of dawn#ALSO. I hc that he used to freeze up awkwardly if she did stuff like. casually tuck his hair behind his ears at first#Miguel doesn’t know how to react w affection he deems as like. fussing. imo. it’s not that he doesn’t like it esp from Xina it’s just.#unfamiliar and it’s one of the times he just kind of instinctively freezes#also lmao to kid Miguel clearly shooting his shot and Xina being endeared by those cringe antics (affectionate)#he’ll hand around her waist thing in public at times sure at home they’ll just cuddle up to one another while marathoning Xina’s fave#twencen flicks#I don’t hmmmmmm haven’t come to a consensus on hand holding for them. they do yeah but more so in private and quiet absentminded moments#not a Lot. but just to be near to one another sometimes#tunes talks 2099#ANYWAYS. I want to write silly romantic drabbles abt them 🥰
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if i think bout ichi going to jiro kasuga's grave and arakawa accompanying him Maybe At Least Once i just might explode
#snap chats#hi everyone. coping with my reality. plus it is fathers day tomorrow#ill save all THAT rambling after The Real Meat alright lemme get that juice out the way#anyway no i was just having an idle thought with fathers day coming up#an i just thought of like. Just-Got-Here ichi wantin to see his Relatively-Recently-Deceased's dad's grave#maybe arakawa wanted to ask ichi to do somethin on X day and ichi visibly is just 😬#obvi he tries to brush it off like Oh Its Nothing Sir Haha :) but arakawa's A Dad.#and grew up with a troubled childhood alright he knows when someones hiding something so he encourages ichi to tell him the truth#such comes The Bean Spillin an ichi's just 'remember how i said my dad died yeah i wanted to visit him that day 👉👈 '#followed up by the obligatory backpedaling But Its Fine I Can Do Another Day ! No Worries ! etc etc#so pleaaasse cut to arakawa making a 'deal' with ichi in that he can go that day but only if he could tag along#ichi's a great kid it's worth visiting the guy who raised him right#im gonna throw up if arakawa just gets a Funny Feeling during their visit yk what i mean#he just feels Especially grateful for jiro and what he did for ichi- doesnt exactly know why maybe ichi really is just that good of a kiddo#im gona make myself throw UP oh my GOD. crying dying etc etc#if you see me write or draw anything after this no you dont#speaking of though Personal Ramble Time i knew i shouldnt have eaten until later this is my karma <- thats not how karma works#i try not to eat in the evening and the time i do unprompted BOOM mother's home. screaming crying yelling#i still had things i wanted to do upstairs too gdi now i gotta wait til monday or like. 2AM ☠️☠️☠️#ok thats all byyyyye im gonna cope with my cringe family situation with projection 👋
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Just had the most visceral fandom gut punch checking out the Welcome Home tag out of curiosity and immediately seeing an AU Wally with the most Sans AU vibes I have ever seen from a character who isn't a sans. My first ever fandom was Undertale and when I was younger I really got into all the AU stuff and I just had the most vivid flashbacks to all of that, it was WILD.
Can't wait to see what levels of 'At this point this is just a fucking unrelated OC in a Wally skin' the fandom can get and how long it takes before the Wally AU ship kids start popping up.
First it was the Onceler, then it was Sans, now, it very well might be Wally that inspires a whole new generation of creators to get fucking insane with AU ideas.
I, personally, welcome our new insane AUs posterboy.
#i mean this all positively by the way#is the whole undertale au craze kinda cringe?#objectively yeah#but you also can't just look at all the love and effort and creativity poured into it and immediately write it off as worthless#even though i haven't watched it underverse looks fucking sick you go you funky skeleton lovers#welcome home#wally darling#undertale#utmv#sans
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the best part of getting to party with ppl my age was how well people knew their boundaries. the balance of being able to get absolutely zooted until the late hours while also all of us waking up before 8am to make breakfast and clean was genuinely comical
i woke up just before 8am thinking i'd be one of the first to rise but i was the 3rd to last
#[static]#everyone had already cleaned and they were starting to make the group breakfast#ive not been to a party since ... gods 2016?? and we were all a little too eager to over do it back in the day#it was genuinely sweet in its own strange way#then cut to 9am when we went back to party mode#someone brought liquid iv and everyone was making sure we all had lots of snacks and water and sharing the different goods we brought#it was just sweet! a nice weekend to let loose but as my friend said#we are all the 'mom friend' so it was a really safe environment and a bunch of fun#i have never been so stoned in my life for so long but it made me feel more relaxed than I've felt in years tbh#not a worry on my mind and just enjoying the trees and the lake and reading my book and helping my companions who were playing in the water#i dont really like talking about Partaking in drugs in general for several reasons (mainly it makes me cringe @ me)#but i cannot emphasize how i had Zero Worry or Anxiety in my body for the first time in gods know how long#im home now and just ... ready to do things and my brain feels normal for once#no overwhelming chatter about things im anxious about or coming up with things to be anxious about#i will be grateful for the brain-quiet for as long as it lasts
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i think there should be a cool normal way to simultaneously ask all of the friends from my hometown if they are also back for christmas
#certainly the answer is to do it here in the most indirect and not visible way possible. this is good#the other caveat is i don't know how to casually inform people that i am physically a husk of the person they knew#mentally also a husk#but who isnt#fleece.txt#damn. also just realized i left all my edibles back home :/#objectively for the best but subjectively cringe
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