#and i could do it completely online...
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hmmm why does this bookkeeping course look good...
#.evature#and not only that#it's mostly for free#id only have to pay student service fees which isnt that much even in the grand scheme of the course#and i could do it completely online...#wow.#i am doing my undergrad degree rn and i love it#but i think itd be good to know this too#but i have to actually look into it and come up w a plan if i decide to do both at the same time#which ill probably do if i decide to complete the course#ah!! it would be so fun actually#i feel really excited!#i also need to look into management of information systems and data analysis and#I NEED TO JUST DO IT!!!!!#rahhh#this year is going to be crazy for career development#and i want a part-time job#okay: part-time job#full time uni#online tafe#DAMN#ill b so busy 😭😭😭#and ofc time for friends#family#and personal hangouts
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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Something I miss from earlier eras of the creative side of the internet was things just being unabashedly low-budget. Just all unashamedly amateur, unprofessional, ‘I don’t own a good camera but I have a story to tell you’, ‘I can’t afford a good mic but I have a song to sing for you,’ ‘I don’t have any kind of background in editing or lighting and I only just picked up this guitar last Tuesday but here’s an entire musical me and my friends wrote about our favourite book, we filmed it on a potato and put it up on YouTube in ten minute segments because we thought it was pretty funny.’
#everything felt so much less like Content then#and as someone who wants to share creative stuff online#it’s now incredibly daunting thinking about doing that bc#especially as a disabled person who can’t work full time#it feels almost impossible to extricate art from being Content#like there’s this immense pressure to produce things that could pass as professionally produced by a team of educated people#and to make smart decisions so that somehow eventually you can profit off your art#and instead of it being a ‘hey look at my silly little song’ it becomes#competing in an over saturated market already dominated by the nepotism afforded by wealth and connections#and it feels like it would very difficult not to measure my personal satisfaction with how a certain piece of art turned out#by how much attention it got online#even though I genuinely have zero desire to be famous and it sounds like a complete nightmare#anyway I’m gonna have ice cream for dinner how about you guys#hmp42
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the thing is, i don’t disagree that what and how you choose to write about things is a reflection of you, the writer, and cannot be divorced from your beliefs and biases. but to assume that anyone can perfectly pick out your beliefs from a piece of fiction you’ve written is an extremely weird and paranoid thing to claim, especially if you’re positing that the secret truth is that the writer is a dangerous person and they’re “revealing” that through fiction that upsets you, personally. at the end of the day, the artist is not the art, and no matter how upsetting, no matter how much you dislike it, no matter how much it disgusts you, you don’t know the person who made it and you can only guess how who they are shaped what they made.
like, really, is it more likely that the secret “belief” that’s being revealed when you’re reading something that is really upsetting to you is that the author is a secret Bad Person™️ who wants all of this fantasy to happen in real life, or that the author knows it’s a safe and normal thing to create upsetting works of fiction and so did that.
#i think there is something weirdly parasocial about the kind of assumption behind a lot of stuff like this#the assumption that you *know* the person behind a piece. that you ever could. just through reading it.#you know. its the same sort of braindead media literacy that assumes all songs are about the singer’s personal experiences. it’s not that#simple. fiction is never a one-to-one reflection of anything.#always assume that every story you read. IF it reflect anything about the author. then its done so through several extremely heavy layers of#metaphor and flipping the script and talking about something completely different and obfuscating the point.#like. lord of the rings is very clearly a product of tolkien’s time in wwi no matter how he denied its allegory.#but would you be able to guess that if you didn’t already know tolkien served in wwi? just by reading the books? without any background#info at all? no. of course not. it would be ridiculous to take the books on their own without knowledge of the author and conclude frodo’s#experiences are direct reflections of wwi. that’s only a reading you can reasonably make *because* we know so much about tolkien#and you do not know random people online who write the stories you hate. and you never will. and you’re just going to have to live with that#and live with it without making the assumption that not understanding their methods means they’re dangerous. preferably not doing that.
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Nancy Wheeler the shoujo manga protagonist you are what with your love triangle and everything about you my pookie <3
#the fake shoujo manga chapter divider in a shoujo magazine is complete!#this took me like three days to finish and needless to say I’m proud of it 😌#ok maybe apart from Steve I’m not too happy with how he came out#everytime I draw his s1 hair apart of me wants to explode cause of how confusing and hard it is to draw#I imagine that this (fake) manga starts off as a regular shoujo romance but slowly escalates into a sci-fi horror#I’d like to thank Betsumas online archive for giving me references of shoujo from the 80s and 90s#ngl this would have flopped without it#I took some inspo from the many different art styles I saw in my betsuma refs and added aspects to my already pretty anime style#I also stylized Jonathan’s hair differently to how I usually do it to go more in line with how I think it would be stylized#in an actual shoujo#same with Nancy too#I also did more softer shading and tried to make it look watercoloury as alot of the shoujo mangaka I like use it for more fancy art#in relation to their work#i don’t think it comes across that way but hey it was worth a try!#I’m either proud of the title of this fake ST manga or ashamed of it idk I can’t decide#anyways I might do a part two to this? idk it was originally my intention#hope y’all enjoy!#stranger things#nancy wheeler#jonathan byers#steve harrington#barbra holland#jancy#I’ll add the jancy tag cause this piece has the pairing in subtext (lmk if i should remove it at all cause this isn’t an obvious jancy thing#)#cw eyestrain#tw eyestrain#<-adding these tags cause I think this could cause some eyestrain
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This is such a harmful sentiment to push considering that you don’t necessarily have to be “attractive,” (beauty is subjective, yada yada) in order for men to want to harm you in the slightest… like man, what…
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#the lady talks about being followed and harassed and so on as if every woman and girl in the world regardless of their age and#‘good looks’#hasn’t experienced this and will continue to#I hate when these girls especially ones who are conveniently attractive talk about stuff like this under the guise of speaking for all#women while x-ing out most women#this easily leads into the realm of ‘you’re too ugly/fat to be assaulted ANYWAY-‘#talk that I see spread by misogynists and bird brained women like it’s such a natural thing to even say it’s actually rly scary#especially when it comes to the assault shit which is usually about power and control anyway#they don’t care what you look like#you could be covered up head to toe and someone would try to hurt you just because#I hate when women like this go online thinking that they said something open their mouths I really do#rambling#tw assault#got dudes in the comments going ‘she’s not even pretty anyway she’s like a 4 out of 10’#completely missing the message (as if they care) and see#these are the kinds of people that stuff like this attracts#stuff like this coming out of a woman’s mouth especially is so dangerous#I don’t think I’m the most good looking person in the world and I’ve been followed sm times I had to run away from a guy once and luckily#my bus was right fucking there!!!#then the guy who was harassing me years ago at a bus stop and forced me to hug him and touched my butt and no one else was around to help#me…#and he kept on trying to get me to go back to his apartment around the corner like that was so#the man who followed me into the store as I was shopping and I noticed that he kept on staring at me#then tried to holla and he looked way older than me and I think he was a pastor or something too he had a nice car and tried to get me to#come with him#sm more incidents over the years like this is crazy pls don’t say stuff like this and act like it’s normal#someone in the comments said that people like the woman in the video think that being pretty will free them from the patriarchy and like…#YEAH 😭#it’s so obvious too lmfao#these be the same women calling themselves ‘girls girls’’
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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little lord cottonball gazing down from his ominous perch
#cats#Actualyl very too stressed and tired to type much in the tags for once as I typically do lol#I have many appointments this month and other things plus like 3 projects I'm trying to finish so... eughhghh#I actually have like 5 outfit pictures orsomething nearly completely ready to post on here and plenty of like#Content or things I could be posting to keep up some semblance of being a Normal Social Media Using Person but#idk.. i have to be in a very specific mood to post online lol.. a very vague conceptual state#It does not come naturally to me at all especically when I'd rather be off in my own world doing whatever like organizing rocks#and rolling little balls of clay and thinking about fantasy elven religions and etc.#like when stressed out so on and so forth... so I actually have to force myself like 'hey... remember.. you did an outfit.. POST IT' etc#ANYWAY...#a beauntifulle little cat image...
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"why is my fave actor still in a dumb franchise 😢" there's this lil important thing called CONTRACT LAW where, if you are 22 and you sign up to do say 11 movies in a franchise (*cough* Sebastian Stan), but the contract doesn't say when those movies will release....you could still be stuck in that franchise into your 50's
"oh, they really love the franchise that's why they're still in it 🤡" could be, or could be they signed their life away to it and have little choice. if they rely on the franchise for their income---a number which can go up or down---they better not talk trash
"why would such a good actor pick such a stinker film???"
they read an amazing script, signed up to be in the film, but NO LAW says the studio cannot completely change the script, their character, and everything else about the movie after they've signed
they heard that an actor/director they like will be in it, or were directly asked to join by someone on the project they respect
they genuinely need the paycheck (which CAN be protected by law) the same way other people work at McDonald's
they wanted to try something new (some actors do get bored, guys)
they prefer indies where the managers are dedicated to the craft not the box office lottery
shockingly, their every move is NOT dictated by strangers on the internet, aka fans
#sebastian stan#chris evans#tagging them specifically cuz of that one ignoramus being cross posted from twitter#seb stan signed an 11 film contract back in 2009#it is 2025 and he has completed roughly 6 marvel films#i heard that cameos and after credits scenes don't count#i think he agreed to the tv show bc they said it could count as one of his required films#he legit said “dialling it in” about his portrayal in that show#chris evans meanwhile has always and will always do whatever feels fun to him#he has stated multiple times he is more concerned with real life and spirituality than fiction#and clearly wants to make an impact on society that isn't as a Hollywood pretty boy#yet all fans see is a Hollywood pretty boy yo shut up i hate his fanbase#how toxic yall got when he finally tied the knot#that boy been openly aching to marry and have kids for years#and every time he fell in love fans would ROAST her so hard online and sexualize him like he existed for them#y'all can choke#same goes for the slurs on sebstans last girlfriend(s)
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Not to be a bummer but this lifestyle is very lonely.
#fatty talks#eh#I just wish that the people I met online that I could meet IRL#it's like every single feedism related thing I get to do is strictly online. never irl#feels like I won't really ever have a complete life because of this#I don't know I just feel like we should talk more about the fact that it is extremely lonely IRL#I only know one single person IRL that's into this stuff#and well that person is really great and I really love them and they're a dear friend of mine#I would like to meet someone you know?#I guess just don't get into this lifestyle expecting anybody to do it with you.#just because others are lucky to have somebody to post with doesn't mean you will too#and that's something I just have to come to terms with.#when I first made this blog I was hoping that I would find a feeder one day to also have on this blog.#but as the days go by I'm realizing that that's just not a realistic thing.#and that I'm likely never going to get that.#so I guess y'all just have me posting here on this blog#vent? I'm not sure what to call it. all I know is that it makes me sad.
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I just want to be some guy
As a trans man, I don’t really feel like I belong anywhere in the lgbt+ community because I’ll never be attractive to anyone (which is why I ID as queer but even then I feel outcast) and it…. it really hurts sometimes. I’m simultaneously too masculine and not masculine enough.
in the men who are attracted to men spaces, most people when they see me think I’m a twink because of being short/small and/or for being trans/nonbinary. They think I’m hairless, feminine, boyish, submissive, etc. I’m…. at this point in my life I am really really not. Testosterone has made me male and everything that entails. I’ve gained (healthy! good for me!) weight and my stomach sticks out, I’m covered in body hair, I am partway to balding. All the things that are conventionally unattractive about men. All the things that are demonized in trans men. I’m too masculine to fit their idea of a nonbinary person. But masculine in “the wrong way”. I have to either be muscular/fit or small and hairless to be wanted here. I don’t even count as a bear, you’d probably just call my shape a “dad bod”. This isn’t just some vague feeling I get in these spaces- people have legit said to me “oh I love twinks” or “oh I love femboys” and I have to awkwardly explain that no I’m not one actually. I’m not what they want me to be. And I’m really tired of people placing that expectation on me- that I’m a slender hairless twink who is submissive and likes bottoming. Just because I’m small and/or trans. so gross.
and then in the women who are attracted to men spaces well… they’d never look twice at me. I’m short and not at all muscular/toned/fit. Again, I have gained weight, am hairy, and halfway to bald. Bedsides not being conventionally attractive- they usually want a man who can “provide”. I am disabled and can’t work. I can’t drive. I can’t give them flowers or pick them up for a date. I can’t be any of the things they’re looking for in a partner. Being disabled makes me seen as “less than”. Being dependent on other people is a trait that is endlessly mocked in men. I’m not masculine enough.
so where the fuck does that leave me? I’m not even going to talk about how being aromantic in queer spaces alienates me further. I love testosterone, I love what it’s done for me and how I feel healthier on it. But like. fuck. I don’t feel like I’m ever going to be attractive to anyone. I never get to feel pretty or handsome. I never get to feel happy about my appearance anymore and that makes me so sad. I used to derive so much joy from picking out outfits and accessorizing and applying glittery make up. I’m too sick to leave the house ever so I don’t do those things anymore, besides the fact that I *can’t* present feminine anymore without risking my safety. People would assume I’m a trans woman and act accordingly because they see a man attempting to be feminine. I am fully man and fully nonbinary, but I never get to exist as both at the same time. I can’t be feminine without people invalidating/forgetting my manhood. I can’t be masculine without people invalidating/forgetting my nonbinary-ness. I’m too masculine for nonbinary spaces and too nonbinary for masculine spaces. I just…….. I get incredibly sad about this.
And people generally don’t care??? the sentiment seems to be that trans men who are masculine, who pass, who are stealth, etc don’t belong in the lgbt+ community, shouldn’t be in lgbt+ or queer spaces. They’re not wanted there because of being masculine. These spaces are only for “non-men”. But the second you talk about your struggles as a trans man as a reason for why you should be included, you get pegged as an owo twink femboy to most people. It’s always one or the other (demonized or infantilized) and I’m really fucking sick of it. It hurts. I just want to be some guy.
#transmisandry#transandrophobia#trans masc#nonbinary#trans male#transgender#disability#fey talks#idk how to tag this at all#i hope this will resonate with some people#i've completely given up dating at this point although i dont want to#i just dont have the energy to sift through 99% of the people who want nothing to do with someone like me#I dont feel like I have any community at this point in time even in online spaces#i dont feel like I fit in anywhere and it is incredibly isolating#i wish i could see myself as handsome or attractive in any capacity#can we please stop shaming men for being bald and hairy#can we please stop infantilizing disabled men#can we please stop calling all trans men twinks or femboys solely bc they are trans#sometimes i want to stop T just to be accepted again#but i cant i need the T for my health issues#does being both man and nonbinary at the same time make me multigender?
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#feeling really lonely lately and idk why#i mean i guess this is what 5 years of complete isolation do to ya lol#but yeah... sometimes it hits me that i don't really have friends (my fault obvs) and i just sit here with no idea how to change that lol#cause i have the curse of being ok while i'm alone and feeling incredibly anxious when i'm with people#so i convince myself that i'm better alone#and i am for the most part#but then 5 years since the last time i met someone that wasn't my mom or my brother go by and i go ''hmm... i don't think this is healthy''#and i spiral into a pit of dispair#like i can't believe that my highschool years when i was an absolute emo ''i hate everybody and everybody hates me'' kind of dude#were healthier than now#because i had online friends whom i talked to for hours about just random shit#and i met incredible people in uni but i haven't talked to them in literally i'm gonna say 5 years?#and the fact that they live 3hs away doesn't help but still#and i fully know I'M the problem#cause i isolate myself and i don't text and i don't hang out when they arrange hang outs#(again being 3hs away. relying on public transport and not feeling comfortable going out at night don't help..)#but also i put waaaayyyy too much pressure on this so that doesn't help at all#and i'm waaaay to awkward and self depricating to even attempt to have a meaningful friendship with anyone...#so i'm left here (by my own actions) alone and sad lol#i might be getting my period btw so maybe that's why i want to die today#but yeah... it's been in my head for a while now and i wanted to get it out so i can move the fuck on#if only i could be a normal person... sigh#angel talks#personal
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at least if she does go through with it i can just go to seymour and no-one will know. what're they gonna do about it
#xoxo.monty#trying to look on the bright side#mostly failing#i feel. miserable#teenagers famously love it when you cut off their only communication with friends both irl and online for several weeks#and force them to only talk to their family#ik im probably being dramatic and stupid its just that most of my projects etc rely on being able to look things up or use websites#i guess i could go to the library and use their computers actually#so it wouldnt be . too bad. still definitely not GOOD#but i wouldnt be completely cut off#d'accord maybe i would be fine#like its only half an hours bike ride#oh wait the library is closed for a week#okay i changed my mind again definitely would not be fine#also what if its hot#EXCEPTING those two things i could prolly ride to the library every day#which sounds stupid but im worried that if i miss another meetup(????) with my friends theyre gonna think i hate them or that im a bitch#also like. i want to see them? well. mostly#bc the first time i was invited out i had JUST had dental surgery so i. could not go.#nd the second time i was still feeling bad (from the surgery) so i didnt go but that time i lied about why#bc i thought she might not believe me#and im scared that if i dont reply to another invite#they'll just stop inviting me#hell im scared thats already happened and i just dont know#i do have more to say but i have rambled for long enough lmaoo so i'll leave it at that
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There needs to be more nuance in how people view the situation but the internet doesn't allow for that.
#georgenotfound#the thing is though is that the internet as it is rn is completely black and white so that's not gonna happen#'non-verbal consent is not consent' it absolutely can be in certain situations#if you cuddle for hours and seem comfortable doing it and reciprocate by coming back and showing positive body language l#then yes putting a hand on the waist of the person you're cuddling with isn't a heinous crime#social context is very important here#context in general is very important here#i just feel like people forget how the real world operates sometimes because the internet's view on stuff like this can be so polarizing#especially in a community as young as the mcyt fandom#that being said#caiti's feelings are completely valid#george can be innocent at the same time#i just wish people could look at this logically instead of being so chronically online all the time#instead of throwing around the assault word and hoping that gets them internet brownie points#idk this is so stupid catie's friends made the situation 1000x worse by publicizing it the way they did before catie could even try and#resolve it privately
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I don't know if I have "active" followers here or anywhere else that might notice changes on my post schedule, but it might have become obvious that my art posting has slowed down to drip-feeding.
TLDR I've developed a pretty hefty boy of a burn-out.
I'm doing fine, i've been trying out different hobbies and i do draw as much as my energy levels allow me, but as someone who has pretty high standards for what deserves to be posted, it's nothing I've shown around.
Currently i'm concentrating most of my creative energy into client work and finishing personal art that's been left in wip limbo. I'm hoping to open up small scale public commissions later this year if I get everything else finished, mainly to see how well I can handle it. Can't promise anything though.
This was just a general update, for anyone who might care. I'm doing good.
#wub muses#blog update#also ive almost completely stopped using twitter i do not enjoy my time there at all#if i dont have art to post i dont like making noise online hence i dissapear often lately#i could talk about my new hobbies i guess? i got into reading terrible fantasy romance books its great the books are so bad
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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