#and i bet eve would be pretty powerful would she not?

[7amonathursdayinoctober]

WHAT IF

alastor made a deal with Eve?????

[weebsinstash]

I would be absolutely shocked if Hazbin Hotel ever depicted God outside of that one poster thst pretty explicitly stated he's a manipulative asshole but I'm almost absolutely positive they will never OFFICIALLY show him

BUT there is somethihg... especially tasty about the idea of like. Lucifer trying to get with his darling and he finds out FUCKING GOD HIMSELF is interfering or doing things to fuck with him JUST BECAUSE

I like learning certain things about religion from a scholarly perspective and there are several parts of the Bible where I feel like, um, they very much represent the time period and location the Bible was written during, and I feel like The Book of Job is kind of a great example of God being insanely cruel for no reason. Took a man's wife and children and said "oh no it's ok though, I'll give you new ones, forget about those old ones, these bonds of love you formed are replaceable" and caused this man absolute suffering because... he and Lucifer basically made a bet on how devout His followers were. Just an absolutely malicious, power tripping, cruel load of bullshit that never should have happened because God is supposed to be all knowing so he basically just tortured the shit out of a guy just to tell Lucifer 'I told you so'

I just picture like.... imagine Lucifer falling for Reader and you die during the attack on the Hotel by Adam and Lucifer finds out you're redeemed up in Heaven and basically has to threaten God to hand you back over. Literally threatens him that he'll come up there and take your soul back and create a big ass fucking mess while he does it unless you're returned peacefully

Or... you know the pregnancy ideas... imagine Reader is having a really difficult birth, one of those hours and hours of screaming in agony kind of births, and, everything ends up ok, you're exhausted holding your baby, Lucifer is sighing with relief, and later that night, he has a dream. There's God, sitting there cross-legged eating an apple, "so hey! Congrats on the new lady and new baby! You know, uh, at one point, she started praying to me that I could take and do whatever I wanted with her soul as long as the kid survived! Obviously I didnt take it!" And he just laughs like it's so funny and gives Lucifer This Fucking Look, "but I could have :) just behave yourselves down there with your little sinners and we can all keep getting along, kay? ^^ Heavenly Father loves you lots, k thanks byeeeeee"

I'm sure we'll have to save our "all powerful antagonistic figure" ideas for, probably Eve if everyone's theories are correct, but, there certainly is some juicy juicy drama in the concept of the very embodiments of Heaven and Hell in direct conflict all over little old you 👀

[alwaysgodownwiththeship]

I've spent some time thinking over why God tolerated Aziraphale lying to her face and all of his later numerous defiances to her will. I think I've finally got it.

Aziraphale and Crowley are God's two favorite Game Pieces.

Crowley is an obstacle and Aziraphale is a wild card.

It all comes down to the fact that the Good Omens Gods is an all-powerful, presumably omniscient entity, playing an ineffable game.

And the thing is, when you're all powerful, presumably omniscient entity, holding all the cards, any game you play will be pretty damn boring.

And that is where Aziraphale and Crowley come in.

You can't just create a universe, run it for a few thousand years, and then stop.

Crowley does a lot of things. But his main role in God's game is to serve as an obstacle, an obstruction to the plans of both Heaven and Hell; her plans. From the beginning of the show, even when he's messing up the basic delivery of Antichrist, he's essentially performing this function. However, Crowley's obstruction is not random, he becomes an obstacle for specific and predictable reasons, as we've seen throughout the show. What's unpredictable is the outcomes that result from his interference in God's plans. He often takes upon himself to defy God.

Age does not wither, nor custom stale his infinite variety.

Translation from the words that inspired Shakespeare: He's unpredictable! (another reason he is forever compelling to Crowley)

Ever since Aziraphale "Prometheus"-ed away his flaming sword to Adam and Eve, God was probably satisfied to label him as a wild card and left him alone to do his thing. Narratively, he's served that function. He's tied and pulled in many directions, to the point where it was uncertain where he would fall in season 1. He lied to both Micheal then Crowley over where Adam was, he possessed a human like a demon, and yet his decision allowed both him and Crowley to be there in Tadfield to influence Adam when the time came. That's not touching on his mad choices/interferences in season 2. He often takes upon himself to correct God depending on how he interprets Heaven's commands.

Together, Aziraphale and Crowley make the game much more entertaining for God. Hell, she might even ship it. I'm positive the God's real game in the Job episode actually revolved around Aziraphale's and Crowley's actions, not her bet with Satan (if that even happened).

(The real question is if God has started a new game or is continuing her old one.

[centrally-unplanned]

House of the Dragon "peace arc" was generally cringe though with a bright spot at the core. Rhaenys came off the worst for it; sitting in a council meeting getting news that the enemy has marched an army, taken two of their castles, and sacked a city and calling those wanting to respond to that warmongering idiots is an amateur hour moment. It isn't like Rhaenyra was heading to King's Landing to surrender or anything, she wanted a negotiated peace. To get that, you need a position of strength - otherwise your enemy is less likely to make peace with you, as the cost of killing you is so low. "War begets war" is an aphorism, not an iron law; this cowardice in the name of conflict avoidance serves neither peace nor their war. Smack their advancing army with a squad of dragons and show them "hey, this is what More War is gonna bring - let's give peace a chance hm?" You only make peace with your enemies, after all, reminding them of that fact is not the barrier to peace naive instinct thinks it is. And then you also aren't telling your own vassals you are going to ditch them in the face of fire, bonus!

The way she seems haughtily superior to the "squabblings of men" while making a fool or herself is a real directorial fail, it is almost accidentally sexist - poor wimmins can't understand Clausewitz. Though I gotta give the actress Eve Best some unintentional credit:

I guess she fucking nailed it.

While I am bashing Rhaenys, the framing of the Vhagar/Meraxes fight is very strange - Rhaenys has clearly won the battle, because Sunfyre is pretty much dead, and you would likely bet Aegon with him, and the way it is shot strongly suggests Rhaenys successfully retreated while Aemond is not at all in pursuit. The whole battle was clearly a trap that she had just dodged. Then she doubles back anyway against a much stronger foe and loses while dealing no apparent damage. Why do that dumb thing? It's both way too risky and also strategically foolish - Meleys as the Black's strongest dragon is highly needed as a deterrent force. It would be more reasonable if Rhaenys was a proud warrior type, proud warriors do that kind of thing ("I can't abandon Rook's Rest!"), but she was defined by her caution up until she chose suicide-by-dracarys.

In the books she is ambushed by a cooperative Aegon/Aemond and dies fighting, easy peasy. The logic is sound, it is a weird change to make.

Speaking of bad tactics, why only send one dragon? If the other dragons were busy that would be one thing, but they mainly aren't, they are doing nothing of note at the time, you have like 4 of them. In the book Rhaenyra is being a bad leader, too grief-stricken or cowardly to go herself, and too possessive of her sons to let them fight; it is shown as a mistake. In this show it is shown as a moment of Rhaenys's courage; she is like "I will go your grace" and everyone is like "oooh" and the question of why this is a solo mission just gets swept aside. Again, you know Vhagar is stronger than you, teamwork is the only real chance you have, while having more dragons is your primary advantage. The Blacks can and should make mistakes, but it has to be framed as mistakes by the show.

This is of course downstream of the "make Rhaenyra the Good Guy" decision; but beyond the Rhaenys idiocy I think this worked great for her here. She didn't hesitate to help her allies; the moment she returned from her failed peace mission, she got right to work. Trying to make peace was idealistic but people are sometimes. And meanwhile I continue to support the Aegon's Dream choice - it really does give her this solid motivation beyond power for her commitment to her inheritance. It is framed really well - like she herself only half believes the prophecy. She is choosing to believe it because she is stuck now and needs moral certainty for the choices she is going to make. That is a very human thing to do, and insightful to essentially admit her own biases out the gate. It makes her likeable without giving her a moral pass for anything.

I do think the show has tipped a bit too far into the "greens = bad guys" camp in comparison though. I would have fixed that by making Rhaenyra more directly complicit in past crimes like killing those who called her children bastards, show she is too committed to this whole "law & prophecy above all" bit, and that the Greens have some legitimate grievances against her. But we may see her get corrupted by the war yet; hopefully they have the courage when it matters most.

[throwingawayhailstones]

New raid dropped and it's kinda peak???? (party 2.2 (i actually finished the story))

yea ok holy fuck kill Barkat. KILL (spoilers btw obv)

The story was honestly pretty sweet. Even though it's a raid boss you don't actually fight the conductor in 20-5. He says he's not the combat type so he was just gonna let them go, but turns out the doors won't open until he finishes a proper performance. Them's the breaks. So the gang play some music with him and take him through therapy. it's really cool. He's like "i'm just an android i do i really count as alive?" and Eve is like "well you can hold a conversation far better than the androids outside and you can also create art. Even if you aren't a Nasod that's alive enough for me :)" I love this man i SWEAR TO GOD BARKAT IF YOU KILL HIM FOR LETTING THEM THROUGH I'M GOING TO BE REAL UPSETTI

I love him so much

Little guy discovers free will omg

AYO ADD NOT THE NEANDERTHAL ALLEGATIONS

KILL HIM EVE

The 20-4 story was really funny with Haivan realizing the trick to getting past the security system right before the communicator broke and Add and Eve getting all upset because that dumbass Haivan figured something out before we could wdh wdh

Eve is great in this chapter btw. She's honestly the star of the whole raid even though it's Lu's region. I lover her heart to heart with the Conductor and I love her getting snippy.

(anyways turns out since it was a "simple" machine they just asked it what the passcode was and it was like lol sure gimme a sec)

Oh gee a chapter called "Manipulate" I sure wonder what's going on in there

Ah..

DIGG NOO

(btw for context, he was one of Lu's closest followers and went by "Digg" rather than his birth name "Tarith" to distance himself from his piece of shit dad)

GOD I HOPE

THEY KILLED CIEL NOOOO (he's fine (probably))

Also next raid is a cool dragon or something. Apparently Barkat kicked the Tortas out of their territory to excavate some fossilized dragon bones that were in there. That's why they've got that cool elevator lol.

HMMM AISHA I WONDER WHO WOULD BE EVIL ENOUGH AND POWERFUL ENOUGH TO ORGANIZE A RITUAL SACRIFICE OF THAT SCALE??? SURELY NOT SOME TWO-FACED BITCH??? Barkat's reckless mining operations poisoned the land, she reduced Lu's castle to a crater to repurpose the raw materials, and now she's (might) kill all the people too? What does Lu even have to come back to??

On a side note, I like how in the recent storylines they didn't forget how "morally questionable" (evil) some of the gang and their allies are. While exploring the land of steel, the Tortas were slaughtering anyone who questioned them. They didn't suddenly become good people now that they've adopted Raven as their boss.

Remember that all the Ikus of Magmelia are terrified of the Torta. The only reason they are even alive is because Vasili (Incoolord) convinced Ricardo to let them go in exchange for their vision. (This is why all the Ikus in Karis' army or in Magmelia either have scars on their faces or blindfolds).

In the Monaterra storyline we have Ciel openly and proudly talking about ways he'd efficiently kill his targets, and it's like "oh right he was an Assassin. He worked with the Lanox underworld."

Raven and Elesis were mercenaries, they've definitely killed people for money.

Aisha is a Landar mage and not a single one of them is normal (except my goat Yuria).

Even though Tir is an ally for the Abyss storyline, he still absolutely cannot be trusted and would bet on the gang's deaths for a laugh.

Aren openly invited Ran into his body because of his treatment in the Xin capital. He may not have forseen everything that would've happened, but he definitely knew that a lot of people in the palace (many of them innocent servants) were going to die.

Haivan plotted for Aegrip and Berthe to kill eachother during their rampage and isn't sorry about it even though he'll admit that the current outcome where the capital doesn't get turned to rubble was preferable.

Add was openly talking about taking apart the Conductor which they just made friends with.

Ain is STILL RACIST

Interestingly, this contrasts with Elboy's decision to do everything he can to spare the baby Myuriconus in 18-2 (Abyss). He feels bad after seeing how the Magmelia Dream Demons are mourning Karis and doesn't want to kill if it he doesn't have to. The gang follow him even though Ciel or Raven or even Elesis absolutely would have killed it in such a desperate situation (they were actively dying due to being in the Abyss) yet they still followed him because they trust Elsword as their leader and moral compass (even if they make fun of him in the down time)

[marginaletchings]

Hazbin Hotel incoherent nightblogging:

((SPOILERS AHEAD))

So like

- We all agree Alastor is probably “chained” by Lilith. That seems pretty likely tbh

- Zestial suggesting Alastor fell to “holy arms”—what if Alastor isn’t working with Lilith, but with Eve??

- What if Eve and Lilith are the same woman??

- I would bet a month’s pay that Emily is Charlie’s half sister; what if she and Charlie both have Lucifer as a father?

- Sera showed up to let Charlie and Vaggie into Heaven. Clearly Lucifer has probably maintained contact with Sera still so the meeting could be arranged.

- Alastor’s beef may come from his own daddy issues— Imagine Lilith telling Alastor shit and he’s just projecting super hard (while also doing Lilith’s bidding)

- On the other hand, Alastor could just be genuinely annoyed at Lucifer’s seeming negligence of Hell as a whole

- Alastor seemingly doesn’t give a shit about other sinners if he doesn’t hold many of them in outright contempt. I can’t imagine he’d want to fight to defend them/Hell itself as a whole. The problem is, we haven’t seen enough (or any, really) of what truly seems to motivate him. We see that he’s protecting the Hotel and potentially Charlie, sure, and he seems sincere in that conviction when he tells Mimzy to fuck off. But as for what is actually driving him to it—whether that’s Lilith, power seeking, self preservation, or all of the above—remains to be seen.

- So I guess Keekee is a manifestation of the Hotel itself?? Which raises so many questions like… what’s so important about the Hotel/Keekee, and is that the reason Alastor was sent to keep an eye on things?

- Alastor taking people’s souls and devouring them/turning them into radio noise is horrific and I am here for it.

[emoticonheart]

What would happen if the normal burpers like Rick “IckyRicky”, Ashley Fox, Princess Addison Bloomington, Sierra Watson, Conner Eve, Carmen Lopez, Zoe Papadopoulos, King Ian, King Rupert, King Hunter, and The Faren twins, and the hyper belchers like Robin O’Connery, Arrach, Thalia Orog, Nareg Orog, Darion Orog, Princess Adalaide, and Abigail Longfoot switched how powerful their belches would be with one another?

ooh this is an interesting question!! however, for everyone's sake, i'm only gonna talk about some of these characters. but if i skipped someone and you REALLY would like to know what my answer is, feel free to send in another ask!!

first the hyperbelchers:

robin: that would mean she was never cursed, so she would live a normal life (well, still not PERFECTLY normal, but more normal). and i don't think she would ever truly love burping like she does now. in fact, she'd be pretty polite about them, always muffling them so that no one can hear them. she wouldn't judge others for burping around her, since she knows that's something our bodies have to do sometimes, but she wouldn't let loose like that herself. so yeah her personality would be fairly different

thalia: similar to robin, her personality would be different, but unlike robin, her personality would be COMPLETELY different. i mean, think about it: thalia burps are not only powerful, but CONSTANT. she can't go five seconds without burping at least once. so she had to isolate herself for everyone's safety. but if she was never a danger she would've been SO different because she'd be allowed to socialize and such. she'd be captain of just about every sport her schools had to offer, and she'd be the kind of athlete that everyone aspires to be. like you can't convince me she wouldn't be well on her way to the olympics if it weren't for her condition. not only that, but her attitude towards her burps would be so different. like a stereotypical tomboy-ish athlete, she'd be proud of her burps, constantly getting into contests with the other girls (and even boys) on her team. even if she wasn't the best, she'd just be having a good time letting loose. man, in an alternate universe, thalia is a TOTALLY different person. who knew burps could change someone so much?

princess adalaide: super small things would change here and there (like the fact that she can't really use her burps to shut misogynistic men up), but other than that, she would be exactly the same. after all, hyperbelch or not, she only burps when she wants to.

abigail: well she would've saved herself a LOT of embarrassment at that frat party, i'll tell you that much. but other than that... i'm not sure yet. i'm still trying to figure out how her burps work. maybe i'll come back to thjs ask when i have a better idea!!

now the normal belchers:

princess addison: that castle would never know peace. her parents would do everything in her power to make her stop, but she'd just be having too much fun causing chaos. those poor servants...

ashley: poor ashley :(((. if her family hates her now, imagine how much they'd hate her if she could burp powerfully enough to cause earthquakes and shatter glass EVERY TIME. in fact, they'd probably kick her out before she turned 18. and if that were the case, being homeless before graduating high school, would she even meet lily? and fff? man i don't even wanna think about it. let's just say that her self hatred would run so much deeper than it does now.

sierra: now, as much as sierra loves burping, she's not a COMPLETE menace. if her burps could cause actual destruction, she'd make sure not to do so in public. however, her ultimate life goal is to make chris' life hell, so all bets would be off as soon as she gets home. and if she had hyperbelches, chris' torture would know no end. sierra would use her powers to break chris' favorite things, keep him up all night, make him spill whatever he's eating/drinking all over himself by shaking the ground underneath him, etc. sierra would find new and creative ways to make chris' life hell, and no matter what he or her mom would try to do to make her stop, they'd ultimately be powerless, because how can they fight against something like that?

conner: MY POOR BABY CONNER. for starters, he would simply have to kiss his opera dreams goodbye, because one slip up onstage could be catastrophic. but also, he would never be able to go out in public without feeling a massive amount of anxiety. after all, one burp from sierra, and he could knock over an entire shelf of food at the grocery store or cause a car crash as he's walking down the street. he'd avoid being outside as much as possible just to make sure he keeps everyone safe. he's so caring <3

carmen: she'd simply die. she'd never leave her room. unless it was one of her insanely loud burps, you'd never hear from her again.

zoe: well she can only burp when carmen's feeling burpy, but she personally would LOVE being able to hyperbelch. she'd never tell carmen that though.

[purpleplaid17]

Jess Watches // Fri 24 May // Day 240 Synopses & Favourite Scenes & Poll

Julia (with mum) 2x05 Bûche De Noël

Julia is surprised by the sudden visit of Charles, Paul's twin, as she prepares for an interview with Life magazine.

The fluidity of twin scenes when it's only one actor has come so far! Passing items and hugging all made possible to do to such a high standard thanks to Orphan Black me thinks. And Avis was right to be annoyed with Julia. Let her dance around the kitchen making breakfast, and tickle her new boyfriend. Also, I really hope Elaine doesn't take Alice's show idea to another network without her. I just do not trust her.

♪ Life Is Just a Bowl of Cherries by DHP & DHP ♪

Avoidance (with mum) 1x06 (s1 Finale)

It is Spencer's birthday and he wants the whole family to go to a zombie-themed hotel. But Danielle and Courtney are not speaking, and Jonathan and Claire are still awkward since their kiss.

The zombie hotel looked amazing tbh idk why were they so mean to the manager. I would definitely be Courtney, repeatedly saying I'm not scared while screaming at the tree branch that touched my hair. I'm so relieved the wives made up, and it was a sign of actual growth and maturity that Jonathan didn't get back with Claire. We probably won't wait too long to watch s2 as they're such short seasons and we rather enjoyed it.

♪ Bright Side of the Road by Van Morrison ♪

High School 1x01 I Bet It Stung

Tensions run high between sisters Tegan and Sara on their first day at a new school; their relationship became fractured during the summer because Tegan felt cast aside by Sara and their shared best friend Phoebe.

I had recently read their book so was pretty hyped to see what a fictionalized version would be like. Gay 90's teens with Cobie Smulders as their mum and a rousing alt-rock soundtrack. I'd recommend watching with subtitles so you can see what songs are playing.

♪ Volcano Girls by Veruca Salt ♪

Invincible: Atom Eve

In this special prequel episode, Samantha Eve Wilkins, aka Atom Eve, grows up out of place in her own family. When someone from her past re-enters her life, she discovers her tragic backstory and the origin and true potential of her powers.

To never fit in at home. To never be accepted by your parents. To then learn the brutal reason why. She deserves to go a little ape shit, as a treat. (ft Duct Tape Man)

♪ Deceptacon by Le Tigre ♪

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning from Charlottesville, Virginia! ☕️

It’s been pouring overnight and into this morning. We have a flood watch in effect until 10AM. I bet it extends.

I finally got the opportunity to do a little async/await Swift this week. Using a combination of generics, Decodable, and async/await makes for an extremely powerful network client. It’s pretty shocking how simple it was to combine those three items to form a set of methods that return fully decoded models with so few lines of code and zero blocks/closures/whatever you call them in your favorite language.

I’m sure some folks will laugh and say “We’ve had that for X years in language Y!” I get it. It’s fairly new to Swift and I’m finally getting to work with it properly.

I’ve also been dabbling with SwiftUI and find some of the concepts weird, but as with all moves to new frameworks or languages, I’ll pick it up and it’ll feel natural at some point.

It’s past time to get my first cup of coffee. I hope you enjoy the links.

Kyle Barr • Gizmodo

Everything Announced at Google I/O: Gemini Takes Over

The week was Google’s Developer Conference. I’m not too much into Google or Android for that matter and while I know LLM’s are here to stay I’m not deep minded enough to find them exciting. Super smart developers find it exciting because they’re challenging in a way they grok and Management find them exciting because they’re a way to do more with fewer people and charge you a ton of money for it. 🤣

Hey, I just want to back away on my little iOS and Mac Apps and build something I love that I hope others will too. I’m sure someday I’ll have to integrate an LLM into an app. 🤖

Raymond Chen • The Old New Thing

In other words, take the existing component and run it before making any changes to it at all. Does it work?

I’ve said it before so I’ll say it again: Raymond Chen is a gift to computing and Microsoft is fortunate to have him.

He’s done so much for Microsoft and the tools we use everyday so when he shares his pearls of wisdom, I listen.

Baldur Bjarnason

React, Electron, and LLMs have a common purpose: the labour arbitrage theory of dev tool popularity

This was a very interesting read and I found myself nodding in agreement a lot but I also disagreed with things.

Something that does bother me about the move to more abstract tooling is the loss of expertise about the platform and knowing the platform provided tools will be the best for solving problems and creating the best possible apps I’m capable of.

Of course you can still make a crummy app with native tools and a brilliant app with tools like React Native.

When I was a Windows developer I could always tell when an application was written in Classic Visual Basic because of how the windows drew. It was a dead giveaway. That always bothered me. Nothing against Classic Visual Basic, it was a native development tool, and you could be extremely productive with it. Just like modern web tooling being used everywhere.

Chris Kirkham • Reuters

The meeting could not have gone worse. Musk, the employees said, was not pleased with Tinucci’s presentation and wanted more layoffs. When she balked, saying deeper cuts would undermine charging-business fundamentals, he responded by firing her and her entire 500-member team.

Musk isn’t a genius. He’s a bully who wins by being an asshole to folks until he gets his way. During the entire charging team over a plan he didn’t agree with is a prime example of how big a baby man he really is.

Why Tesla keeps him around is beyond me. Jettison the man so he can go work on X so you can continue to lead in the EV space. Who needs a network of cars being used for their compute so some dude and do AI stuff with it? What?

How about getting Tesla to do more good for the world by building trucks for hauling large loads across country or building all electric high speed rail systems and busses. You know, mass transport.

Musk talks about a desire to save mankind but he’s only paying lip service to it as far as I can tell. He is obviously obsessed with making crap tons of money and getting his way at the expense of others.

Joseph Savona, Ricky Hanlon, Andrew Clark, Matt Carroll, and Dan Abramov • react.dev

React Compiler is no longer a research project: the compiler now powers instagram.com in production, and we are working to ship the compiler across additional surfaces at Meta and to prepare the first open source release.

I need to go read more about this React Compiler or at the very least get the lowdown from a friend. I wonder if this will come to the React Native world and if it does what would that look like? Would we get everything compiled down to Web Assembly we push through a mobile device JavaScript runtime?

Web stuff is such a hodge-podge of stuff. It’s like the duct tape and baling wire of development.

I consider myself a duct tape a baling wire developer, so that’s not an insult to me. 😃

Robert Reich

America’s second civil war? It’s already begun

I try to stay away from links to Substack articles but I thought this River Reich article was important enough to break my rule.

If the Orange Menace gets back in office I’d fully expect us to see skirmishes break out all over the country at times due to his draconian policies.

Full on war would only break out if things get bad enough the people finally stand up and say enough is enough.

I hope beyond hope we can keep Joe Biden in the White House for four more years and TFG goes away, either to jail, Russia, or succumbs to a natural end.

Having said that we’re going to be fighting against authoritarian MAGA’s for years and years to come. Here’s hoping the GOP comes to its senses and stops this horseshit.

Federico Viticci • MacStories

Still, as I was thinking about my usage of the iPad and why I enjoy using the device so much despite its limitations, I realized that I have never actually written about all of those “limitations” in a single, comprehensive article.

Nice piece that goes into the things Federico finds lacking on iPad. My knee jerk reaction is to think “just move back to a Mac” but folks should do what they want and complaining about the state of things is the only real power they have to hopefully influence Apple to make changes.

I’m still a big fan of Federico’s FrankenMac or MonsterPad, whatever you’d like to call it, it’s extremely cool so of course Apple will never do it. It would poach sales from Mac and iPad and they certainly want you to purchase both, separately. 🧌

David Zipper • Fast Company

Last week, General Motors announced that it would end production of the Chevrolet Malibu, which the company first introduced in 1964. Although not exactly a head turner (the Malibu was “so uncool, it was cool,” declared the New York Times), the sedan has become an American fixture, even an icon, appearing in classic films like Say Anything and Pulp Fiction. Over the past 60 years, GM produced some 10 million of them.

This is really weird to see from American car companies. Why abandon the sedan? Well it’s because American’s are ridiculous. We want the biggest darned cars we could possibly fit on the road.

For me personally I’d really love to have a $10k or less, limited range, EV. It could be small, that’s fine. It would be for running errands and commuting into town, not that I have a commute any longer but if I did I’d like a super economical EV.

Something like this. Would I prefer to buy a ‘Murican version of one, heck yeah! Will a ‘Murican company build one, heck no! 😄

JanerationX

The recent news that the NFL is in negotiations with Netflix (!!!) for the two Christmas Day games this year really made my blood boil. I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised. The league has been slowly chipping away at fans’ goodwill for years. But the fact that Netflix (!!!) is involved makes it extra offensive.

Professional sporting is just as greedy as any other business. They’re there to make money, not just break even, they want to make crap tons of money. This is how they do it. They make deals with the highest bidder. If that means selling the rights to some special games at jacked up rates, it’s what they’re gonna do.

Fans be damned.

The Eclectic Light Company

The only clue given by Apple comes in a single word buried in the sentence “Share code between apps on multiple platforms with views and controls that adapt to their context and presentation.” The key word there is adapt. SwiftUI is a forceful move in delivering an adaptive human interface, one that adapts to the user, the task, the data, and the platform.

Really nice piece on using SwiftUI and how it’s built to adapt to each device, at least that’s the idea.

I also like that it points out there’s nothing wrong with UIKit and AppKit.

Heck, one of the most beautiful, high quality, iOS apps made today is Ivory from Tapbots and last I heard it’s still written in Objective-C on UIKit and AppKit. No need to throw out perfectly good code in favor of an expensive rewrite for the sake of the new hotness.

[aledethanlast]

I actually had this exact convo with a friend (hi ben) a few months ago and here's the conclusion we came to: Taylor vs Cecil, no winners.

For maximum funsies lets say Taylor is dropped into the invincible universe with her powers intact post season 1/start of season 2. Initially Taylor would be a little suspicious of...everything, but ultimately this universe does not make a big deal of people of who don't make big deals of themselves, so it's pretty easy for her to go under the radar even with the bugs.

But we're talking stories, not reality, so story will eventually come knocking. Let's say a filler episode plot that should have taken Mark 35 minutes to get done takes Taylor about 15, and the rest is spent clarifying that no, she's not a villain (her cause is undermined by the part where she keeps laughing to herself every time she says this) and was simply in the area.

The episode ends with Mark and Taylor both finding each other weirdly intense/overeager but overall easier to work with than other coworkers they've had. All is well and good...until Cecil shows up.

Things start out cordial enough (Cecil may not be a public figure, but Taylor knows a Director Costa Brown expy when she sees it), and she's quick to promise to stay out of the game unless something big comes up and they need all hands on deck. Back on Bet this would have been basic courtesy from a cape, but here and now it only sets off Cecil's Nolan alarms. In his defense, Taylor is very cagey about her origins. In Taylor's defense, being honest about her origins would have been worse.

Not three minutes later, Taylor overhears via bugs how Cecil uses Mark's guilt to keep him in line, and her own trauma bells start ringing.

It doesn't take Taylor long to realize that while Cecil is by no definition popular, there are very few heroes who don't follow his lead blindly, and the Invincible status quo has no breathing room for her brand of coalition building. There's no need for endbringer protocols or status quo rules when the GG really do have the time to handle whatever.

Her growing proximity to superhero shenanigans will eventually have her running into the Guardians, who would piss her off with their lack of cohesion and unprofessionalism. She would consider allying with them for fights a chore and she wouldn't be able to hide it.

(It should be noted that throughout all this Taylor is just barely calling bullshit on everyone's superhero origin stories. Aliens and lab experiments? Fine. Mad scientists? Weird but close enough to what she knows. Literal demons? Absolutely not. Fuck all of you.)

Mark, meanwhile, comes to connect with Taylor after she calls out his growing unwillingness to extend grace to opponents. She becomes a solid voice alongside Atom Eve's that his trauma and guilt are being taken advantage of, and he can't dismiss her words as plain discomfort with extreme violence because...it's Taylor. Have you met her.

Her big blind spot, however, is Cecil and the GDA. While AE is no fan, and Mark is quickly growing tired of Cecil's shit, they'd both be entirely unable to convince Taylor that the organization is worth preserving, and that courting villainous elements is not worth the time or effort. In Taylor's defense, she's trying to prevent the next potential (possibly magic??? fuck this place) Gold Morning. In Sam and Mark's defense, they still haven't had their first major crossover event and think the status quo can stick indefinitely.

Anyways Taylor ends up shooting a baby again and everything goes to shit.

Hey so, thought exercise, how do you think Taylor would fare if she got dropped into the invincible universe? For the sake of mechanics let's say she literally gets dropped in via doorman portal or something.

So one thing about Invincible is that I think it's setting is protagonist-centric in a way that Worm's isn't. To the extent that Invincible's setting has worldbuilding- worldbuilding that isn't, like, ported in from the books's early association with the confederated Image Comics shared universe- it's worldbuilding that exists to convey the impression of a big-two-flavor universe. Here's our spin on the undersea kingdom, here's the riff on the Martians, here are our riffs on SHIELD, on Gotham, on Themyscira, on 70s blaxploitation-adjacent heroes, and so on. This is the entire ethos underpinning the Guardians of the Globe in particular- piggybacking on pre-existing audience affection for the Justice League to convey that it's a Big Fucking Deal when the guardians get blendered in issue 7.

You have flashbacks demonstrating that there was capital-S Superhero Stuff going on in the seventies and eighties, or as far back as the thirties with Immortal, you create the impression of a status quo, a big pond in which Mark is a little fish. And to Kirkman's credit, some effort clearly went into making sure that the non-Mark capes are sufficiently fleshed out that you can believe that they've got other stuff going on in their lives. But at the end of the day, it's the Invincible universe. You don't see a lot of people talking about the Guarding the Globe spinoff. Many of the most interesting characters- Cecil being a big example here- are interesting because of the ways in which they bounce off Mark specifically, the ways in which he chooses to deal with them. The universe is less of a character in the story the way that Earth Bet is- it's just the place where Mark's story, specifically, is happening. If there's a codified setting bible, I'll eat my hat.

Now of course the world of Worm is, in many ways, equally Taylor-centric, because that's what it means to be the protagonist. But owing in part to the themes of the story, and in part to the sheer number of false-start protagonists Wildbow played around with before settling on Taylor, it's very good at conveying the idea that there are many stories happening in this setting and Taylor's is just the one this particular work happened to focus on. There's an actual point to doing OC worldbuilding for what the superhero scene looks like in Wormverse Denver or Seattle or whatever- whereas you can come up with superhero teams for Invincible-verse Denver, but what actually ties them to that universe? What are you getting out of putting them in Invincible specifically, that you wouldn't get from whipping up a barebones MASKS setting to support your OCs? Anyway. This is a really long way of getting to my real point, which is that I think the question is less "how does Taylor bounce off the Invincible setting" and more "How does Taylor bounce off Invincible the character, around whom the setting orbits even when it pretends not to."

This I'm unsure of, because where do you stick her in his life where you get an interesting dynamic? One thing that's interesting here is that Mark's overall character arc already involves learning a lot of taylorisms- the strategic ruthlessness, the shift from a good-evil dichotomy to a helping-not-helping dichotomy-so what about his arc is going to change if they spend time together? Why would they spend time together? Given the different power levels on display, what would differentiate her, in his experience, from the dozens of filler capes that exist for him at the level of "vague acquaintance?" This is assuming she's active as a cape at all, which she might not be if this is Post-GM. Mutual association through Cecil and the Global Defense Agency might be a hook- maybe they're paying for her new arm or something- but would she latch her cart to Cecil's wagon in the first place, barring some obvious crisis situation? Hard to say. If she's depowered, and present in his life somehow in a civilian context, well, that's a fast-track to not being part of the story anymore either, given how Mark's civilian connections slowly fading away was kind of a quiet plot point.

There's some configuration of these pieces that could be interesting, but I'm not quite sure what they are. Soliciting input here.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Kanato Dark [Prologue]

Monologue

Every now and then,

I recall a line from a book I read in the past. 

ーー ‘Those who enjoy solitude are either monsters,

or if not, they are God.’

ー The scene starts in Yui’s bedroom at the Sakamaki Manor

Yui: Who could have thought Kanato-kun would be the one to inherit Karlheinz-san’s powers...

( I couldn’t even imagine it... )

( But...This isn’t a dream, is it? )

( That day, Kanato-kun was officially declared his successor. )

( He became the true King who shall rule over the Demon World... )

ー A flashback ensues as the scene shifts to the Chamber of Time

Kanato: Father. Why did you call us here? 

Karlheinz: Welcome, my son. And you too ーー Eve. 

Yui: ...?

Kanato: Father. Show yourself, please. We cannot talk like this...

Karlheinz: I am afraid I cannot fulfill said wish. My role has already ended after all. 

Kanato: ...What do you mean...? 

Karlheinz: Fufu. Exactly as I said it. 

I shall give you my powers, Kanato. Everything I haveーー 

Kanato: Eh...? 

Yui: ( Karlheinz-san will give his powers to Kanato-kun...? )

( Does that mean Kanato-kun will become the new King of the Demon World? )

Kanato: ...Why?

Why me, Father...?

Karlheinz: ...

Well, I believe that you are the most suitable to cleanse this world. 

Kanato: Cleanse...? And I’m the most suitable...? 

Karlheinz: The completion of the Apple of Eden project is nearing its end. 

I shall leave the rest in your hands. My son ーー Kanato. 

Kanato: F-Father...

Wait, please. I still don’t understand a thi ーー ...

*WOOSH*

Yui: ーー !? 

( Karlheinz-san’s presence disappeared...? )

H-Hey...Kanato-kun. What should we do now...?

Kanato: ...

Yui: Kanato-kun...?

ー The flashback ends

Yui: ーー The most suitable to cleanse the world, huh...?

( Kanato-kun looked completely baffled when he was told that... )

( He inherited Karlheinz-san’s powers out of the blue...So I suppose I can hardly blame him for being surprised. )

Haah...

( However, now is not the time to get lost in thought. )

( Now that he is the head of the household, Kanato-kun has become a main target after all... )

( To those who aim to earn sovereignty over the Demon World. )

( Now that Karlheinz-san is gone, it’s the perfect opportunity. )

( All those strange things that went down today. It’s pretty obvious that somebody snuck into the manor, isn’t it? )

( I’m pretty sure that whoever it was, they were after Kanato-kun who has now become the Vampire King...ーー )

...!

...No, scratch that. This isn’t just about Kanato-kun anymore. 

All of the others could get involved in it as well...

( After all, the fate of the Demon World is on the line. )

Kanato-kun...Is he alright? 

( I’ll go see him. He might be pondering over the same thing. )

( I want to be there for him in case there’s anything I can do... )

ー Yui leaves her room

*Knock knock*

Yui: Kanato-kun, I’m coming in. 

ー She enters Kanato’s bedroom

Yui: ( He’s lounging on his bed... )

Hey, Kanato-kun. 

Kanato: ...What do you want? 

I’m busy enjoying my sweets right now. Please don’t bother me. 

Yui: S-Sorry. 

Kanato: Let me tell you just in case, but I will not share a single bite of these. They are all mine. 

Yui: S-Sure. I know that, of course. 

( While he’s happily indulging in his sweet treats, he really seems no different from before. This is the Kanato-kun I know. )

( I wonder if he doesn’t realize that the fate of the Demon World is in his hands now that he inherited those powers...? )

( However, I’m sure he’ll bring himself to act when push comes to shove. )

( For now, I’ll be there for him as support. )

Kanato: ...

What’s the matter? I can tell that there is something you want to share...

Yui: N-Not really. 

Kanato: Hmm, is that so?

However, I cannot trust your statement. 

Say, I bet you were thinking of something you shouldn’t, weren’t you? 

Yui: That wasn’t my intention...

Kanato: ...Aah, I get it. You were thinking that you don’t want to be here with me, weren’t you? 

Yui: W-Wait! You’ve got it all wrong!

I would never think such a thiーー !? 

ー Kanato suddenly pins her down

*Thud* 

*Rustle* 

Kanato: Oh shut up. Do not talk back to me. 

Yui: ...!

Kanato: I made it clear that I want no secrets between us, did I not?

Are you making fun of me by giving me that kind of attitude? 

*Thud* 

Yui: Y-You’re hurting me...Stop...!

Kanato: ...Why...?

It’s not just you either...Ayato and Laito, all of them...

Why do you all walk on eggshells around me?

Does it upset you that I’m struggling to use these powers I’ve inherited correctly? 

Or are you that bothered by the fact I won’t reign over the Demon World? 

All of you keep on making these assumptions...When none of you have any idea of what goes on inside my head...!

Yui: T-That’s not true...! Calm down, Kanato-kun!

Kanato: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

All you need to do is keep quiet and let me suck your blood!

ー Kanato bites her

Kanato: Nn...Nnh...!

...Nn...Phew...Haah...

Yui: ...Stop...Kanato-kun...!

Kanato: ...Keep still, please. It’s your own fault. For acting so weird...

Nnh...Nn...Kuh...

*Rustle* 

Yui: ( I’m sure he’s upset because I disobeyed him... )

...I’m so sorry...

Kanato: ...Hah?

Yui: I’m sorry, Kanato-kun...I’ll never say no to you again, so...

Kanato: ...! Why do you...? 

Yui: Eh...?

Kanato: Why!? Why do you always say things to upset me!? 

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: Ow...!? 

Kanato: Fufu, you look like a mess. You’ve got candy stuck in your hair...

Yui: ( ...O-Oh no! I better remove it quickly...! )

*Rustle rustle* 

Kanato: ...You silly girl. There’s no way you’ll be able to pick it out with your fingers. 

Yui: But at this rate...

Kanato: Aah...Why don’t we cut it? Hair and all. 

Yui: Eh...?

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“You simply need to do as I say. Only ever look at me...Only ever listen to my voice...and do not let your mind wander, okay?”

“Why do you seem frightened? How cruel, when I’m here showing my good heart by cutting it for you.”

Kanato: Why would you look at that! There just so happens to be a pair of scissors here. 

I shall be so kind as to cut it for you. ...Hey, aren’t you glad?

*Snip*

Yui: W-Wait...Calm down, Kanato-kun!

Kanato: Do not worry. I have a knack for this sort of stuff. 

...Aah, but if you decide to fight back, I might accidentally cut off something else. 

Yui: ...!?

Kanato: Therefore, please keep still, okay?

If I were to cut off your ear by mistake, you would no longer be able to hear what I tell you. Fufu.

*Snip*

Yui: ( O-Oh no...At this rateーー )

ー Yui pushes him away

*Thud* 

Kanato: ...!?

Yui: K-Kanato-kun! I...I’ll go rinse off the candy in the bathroom, okay!?

ー She quickly dashes out of the room

Kanato: ...

...! Why!?

*THUD*

Kanato: Why...does everyone reject me...!?

*THUD THUD*

Kanato: Why? ...Yui-san.

All I want is for you to be your normal self...

( Ever since I inherited Father’s powers, everything has gone downhill... )

( Why did it turn out like this...? )

Monologue

ーー I don’t understand. 

Why has Father given me the special treatment? 

Why does he expect all these things from me? 

...Why did he even choose me as the successor to his powers,

in the first place, I wonder?

There should have been plenty

of other suitable candidates. 

Hey, Father. Tell me, please. 

ーー What is it exactly,

I should do...? 

Kanato: Ugh...I...

I don’t even want...these powers...!

ー The scene shifts to the bathroom

*Pshhh*

Yui: ...

( Even if I don’t talk back, in the end, I still make him upset... )

( I wonder what would satisfy him...? )

I guess inheriting those powers comes with a kind of responsibility and pressure which I simply cannot understand...? 

( ...Exactly. )

( Kanato-kun is the one who suffers the most from this, not me. )

( No matter how badly he treats me, I have to make sure I’m there for him at all times. )

...Okay!

( I’ll freshen up, forget the past and move on! Then I’ll also go and properly apologize to him. )

*Splash splash*

Yui: ...Phew.

ー A mysterious man suddenly appears

???: ...

Yui: ...! W-Who are yーー!?

*Rustle*

Yui: ( ...He’s covering my mouth...! )

Kino: Shh...

My name is Kino. I’m a Vampire, just like those friends of yours. 

Yui: ( ...A Vampire!? )

( Could this be the guy who I saw in the manor...!? )

Kino: Fufu, don’t glare at me like that. I don’t mean to cause you any harm, really.

If you behave, I’ll even remove my hand. ...You know what to do, right? 

ー Yui relaxes

Yui: ...

Kino: I don’t dislike a clever girl. 

ー Kino steps back

Yui: You...Kino-kun you said your name was? 

...Why did you come here? 

Kino: You see, I’m here to ruin the Apple of Eden Project. 

Yui: Eh...!? 

Kino: Did I say something strange?

Yui: I mean...You’re a Vampire, correct?

If you are, then should you really be trying to get in the way of the project...?

Kino: ...Listen. Maybe you should learn to pick your words more carefully?

ー He approaches her

*Thud* 

Yui: !?

Kino: You’re nothing but a tool, aren’t you? Yet you’re trying to push your own opinion. Just who do you think you are?

All you need to do is behave and listen to what I say, do you understand? 

Yui: B-But...

Kino: Ah�� God, shut up already...

ー Kino squeezes her throat shut

Yui: Kuh...!

( I-I can’t breathe...! )

Kino: Ahaha! You finally went quiet. I’m sure you understand now what’ll happen if you go against me? 

From here on out, I’ll have youーー

*BOOM*

Yui: ーー !?

Kino: ...Che.

ー Kino steps back

*Rustle* 

*Thud* 

Yui: Coff...Coff, coff...

Kino: Ahーah. Seems like trouble has arisen. I’m done here for today. Time to go home. 

Yui: ...W-Wait...Coff.

Kino: Oh, no need to worry. We’ll meet again. ...Soon, okay?

ー He leaves

Yui: ...Haah, haah...

( He disappeared... )

( I wonder if I should go look for him? But... )

( That explosion just now. It came from the direction of Kanato-kun’s room. )

( Something might have happened...I have to go! )

ー The scene shifts to Kanato’s room

*Thud* 

Yui: ( The whole room smells burnt...! )

( Did he unleash his powers...? Is he safe...!? )

Kanato: ...Uu...

Yui: ーー Kanato-kun!

ー She rushes to his side

Yui: Are you alright!? Hey!

Kanato: Ugh...

Yui: ( Thank god. He’s been injured, but he’s still breathing just fine... )

Reiji: Haah...I came here to check what’s going on after I thought I felt the manor shake but...

Ayato: Kanato fucked up again? Look at this mess. 

Laito: Haah...Coff, coff. This burnt smell is too much...

Yui: ...? Y-You guys...!

ー She notices all of his brothers have arrived

Yui: U-Um...It’s a disaster! Kanato-kun’s powers went out of control...and he got caught up in the explosion!

Shuu: You need to calm down a little. We can tell as much. 

Yui: B-But! Kanato-kun has lost consciousness...

Also...I ran into the trespasser earlier...!

Shuu: Haah...Calm down. You’re all over the place. 

Yui: ...S-Sorry. 

Reiji: ...Let us go somewhere else first. 

Subaru, carry Kanato to her room. 

Subaru: Haah!? Why me!? 

Laito: Nfu~ Seems like you got the short end of the string there, Subaru-kun.

Reiji: Come on, Subaru. Make haste. 

Subaru: ...Che.

ー Subaru walks over to Kanato

Reiji: ーー You too. Off we go. 

Yui: ...Yes.

ー The scene shifts to Yui’s bedroom

*Thud* 

Kanato: ...

Yui: ( Kanato-kun is even more small and fragile than I thought... )

( Yet, Karlheinz-san’s immense powers are stored inside this tiny body... )

( I had no idea just how much responsibility and pressure Kanato-kun has had to burden. )

( Apparently he should wake up after a while, but I can’t help but wonder if he’ll be alright? )

( If only I had not fled his side back then... )

Reiji: ...If you have the time to get lost in your own thoughts, why not tell us about what happened earlier? 

Yui: Eh?

Reiji: Did you not mention that you spotted an invader in the manor?

Yui: Ah...About that...ーー

ー Yui tells them the whole story

Reiji: ...I see. A Vampire who goes by the name ‘Kino’...?

Ayato: In other words, it’s his fault that weird shit keeps on happenin’?

Reiji: Yes, I believe that would be the case. It should be safe to assume that he snuck into the manor to target the both of you.

Yui: I knew it...

( I can’t believe that he’s being targeted when he hasn’t managed to fully control his powers yet...I wonder what we should do now? )

Then, maybe if you guys stick with him until he becomes a suitable head of the household...

Shuu: You want us to help the guy? ...Are you stupid? 

Subaru: He can’t complain ‘bout being targeted now that he’s the head of the family. 

I’m sure he realizes that too, right? That he’s gotta learn to save his own skin. 

Laito: Exactly. In the end, it has nothing to do with us. 

We are worried about you, of course. 

But if Kanato-kun finds out that we tried to make even the slightest move on you, things will only get even more sticky. 

Yui: ...But...! Kanato-kun is the one suffering the most here!

He inherited those powers and was forced into the position of head of the household out of nowhere!

I don’t see why you can’t lend him a hand...

Shuu: Then why don’t you help him? It’s none of my concern. 

Yui: No way...

Reiji: I believe the others are correct for the most part.

This time his magic went rampant in the human world, hence why the damage was still limited. 

I do not want to even imagine that the manor will keep on being destroyed if he keeps going like this. 

Laito: ...Or rather, it’s kind of worrying to have him in such an unstable state, you see. 

Kanato-kun has always been on the hysteric side, so who knows, he might just kill us at some point.

Yui: ...He would never do that!

H-Hey! How about you, Ayato-kun...?  You’re worried about him, aren’t you? 

Ayato: Not really? I don’t give a damn. 

Yui: Eh...?

Ayato: Are you deaf? We don’t want to have to deal with this shit!

That bein’ said, you better fix this somehow, Chichinashi. 

Yui: That’s easier said than done...

Reiji: ...Right.

We shall leave now, but if you are that worried, then you should stay by his side.

ー The other Sakamaki’s leave

Yui: No way!

*Thud* 

Yui: ...

( I know that they don’t exactly hate Kanato-kun but... )

( I can’t help but feel like he looks so lonely while sleeping there like that... )

( A way to help Kanato-kun... )

( I wonder what would be the best approach? )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[robininthelabyrinth]

Prompt~ hoping you'll like it ♥️

Things between the Nie brothers are not always nice and happy, they fight, just like any other pair of brothers, and sometimes things are said, sometimes these things are heavy and painful. Sometimes they're said in the wrong moment (maybe at the eve of a battle? Sunshot campaign?) and huaisang doesn't know what to do with the broken look his brother gives him before leaving the unclean realm. Because what if he doesn't return? What if the last thing he said to him was how much he hated the man he became?

Labyrinth - ao3

“But I didn’t mean to wish him away!” Nie Huaisang cried out.

“That’s really too bad,” the goblin king said, looking pleasant and humble and charming the way he always did, even in his cape of glittering gold and high-browed hat. “I wish there was something I could do for you, but the rules are the rules. You wished him away, and I took him.”

“Aren’t you supposed to only take babies?” Nie Huaisang demanded.

“Your brother’s enough of a crybaby to count, it’s close enough.”

“It is not!” Nie Huaisang wrung his hands. “You don’t understand, the last thing I said to him was that I hated him! Meng Yao, please!”

“It’s Jin Guangyao,” the goblin king corrected. His smile looked a bit strained. “Listen, do you think I’m happy about this? He’s my sworn brother! I’m only doing what I have to –”

“Oh, save it for Lan Xichen,” Nie Huaisang growled. “Show me the labyrinth already.”

“You’re going to face the labyrinth,” the goblin king said. His voice was very polite, and yet still expressed significant doubt. “You.”

“Yeah, me!”

“You remember that it goes ‘through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered’, right? Not ‘through a nice teacher and a forgiving grading system’?”

“Yeah, well, your father is a fragging aardvark. Let me at the labyrinth already!”

-

“You know what,” Nie Huaisang said thoughtfully. “Thanks, but no thanks.”

The life-sized animated puppet blinked at him. “You – don’t want my help?”

“Nope. I’m good.”

“You haven’t even gotten into the labyrinth yet!”

“It wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t have a chance to get in,” Nie Huaisang said, patting around his sleeve and pulling out a fan. “So I’m just going to walk over and beat at the wall till something happens.”

The puppet followed him, staring blankly. Quite a change from his original apologetic ‘I’m sorry, I’m busy with my own things, I really can’t help you, also it’s too dangerous and you shouldn’t go’ response.

“You were blackmailing me to help you just a moment ago,” the puppet said after a little. “Don’t you need a guide?”

“Listen, I’m bad at memorizing things and I’m a little useless, but I’m not actually dumb,” Nie Huaisang said, fanning himself. “Jin Guangyao is a demon of the mind above all else, and the labyrinth is supposed to be ‘fair’ – which means, more than likely, that the labyrinth is a reflection of the subconscious, specially tailored to each person’s strengths and weaknesses. And that means that you, who sound exactly like Lan Xichen, are almost certainly a set-up sent by Jin Guangyao to ‘reluctantly’ aid me and then betray me.”

“Uh,” Lan Xichen-the-puppet said. “My name’s Hoggle, actually.”

“Whatever makes you feel better, er-ge…A-ha!” Nie Huaisang beamed at the gates that automatically opened. “Perfect!”

-

“Oh, don’t go that way,” the worm said. “Never go that way. And are you sure you don’t want to come in for a cup of tea?”

“No time,” Nie Huaisang said. “Thanks a lot – wait.”

The worm blinked at him.

“You’re a pretty attractive worm, in a slimy sort of way,” Nie Huaisang said, frowning at him.

The worm blinked again. “Why, thanks!”

“No, that’s not what I meant. Is your name Su She, by chance?”

“Definitely not!”

“Mm. Oddly vehement of you. Never mind. Just, quick, could you tell me exactly why do I not want to go that way?”

-

“I don’t suppose straight ahead is an option?”

The hands-faces stared at him.

“I’m just saying, I feel like most of my problems so far have come from the fact that I decided to accept the whole concept of turns. It seems like a mistake.”

“…it’s a labyrinth,” another set of the hands said. “You have to make turns!”

Nie Huaisang shook his head mournfully. “I should’ve brought Baxia or something and just – ZIP. Gone straight through. You know what I mean?”

“I’m dropping you in the oubliette regardless of your decision,” the first set of the hands said. It sounded a bit like Sect Leader Yao. “Just so you know.”

“My life is so hard,” Nie Huaisang sighed. “So hard! Do you know what it’s like to be overlooked by everyone? Do you know how hard I have to work at being this useless?”

“Drop him,” the set of hands that sounded like Sect Leader Ouyang said, and the set of hands that sounded like Sect Leader Yao said, “Yes. Now!”

Down Nie Huaisang went.

-

“I can take you back to the beginning of the labyrinth,” Lan Xichen offered.

“What, and waste all that time? I have a time limit, er-ge!”

“It’s better than being stuck in an oubliette. That’s where they put people to forget about them, you know.”

Nie Huaisang’s eyes filled with tears. “You want to forget me, er-ge? You think I’m useless, don’t you? A good-for-nothing, who’ll never amount to anything –”

“Please don’t cry.”

“ER-GE! WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME!”

“Please stop crying!”

-

“So what’s the point of you?” Nie Huaisang asked the Wise Man with the Talking Hat.

“Not everyone exists to contribute to your storyline,” the Talking Hat snapped at him. “Some of us’ve got our own problems. Now hand over the candy!”

“Don’t be mean,” the Wise Man said. He had a white cloth over his eyes, and was smiling like he found the hat funny.

“Awww, but daozhang…!”

“Different plotline entirely, I guess,” Nie Huaisang decided. “Probably just here as a foil. Shall we keep going, er-ge?”

“I can’t believe you scammed me to get out of the oubliette,” Lan Xichen mumbled. “I can’t believe…”

-

“Oh, leave him alone, he’s just sensitive!” Nie Huaisang snapped.

“Am not!” the upside-down creature snarled, curled up on itself and trying to hide from all those that had been hitting him. Its fur was a vivid sort of purple. “Go away!”

“Don’t you have some sort of special power to help you here,” Nie Huaisang asked him as he tried to get him down before the goblins came back with weapons. “Rocks, maybe?”

“…lightning?”

“Well then get to it, will you?” Nie Huaisang frowned. “Wait. Lightning, constantly being tormented, terrible at communication, and purple? You’re Jiang Cheng, aren’t you?”

“…maybe.”

“Well then get down faster! I need to copy someone’s notes here!”

-

“Leave me aloooooooone!” Nie Huaisang howled, running away from the measuring snake.

-

“Wow,” Lan Xichen said, holding his cheek. “You kissed me.”

“You saved me from the snakes,” Nie Huaisang said. “Can we focus on how we’re in this awful stinking bog?”

“It’s not that bad!” a voice piped up. “I don’t smell anything!”

Nie Huaisang turned to stare, then pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course you don’t,” he said. “I bet the total absence of a sense of smell helps when you eat spicy food, Wei-xiong.”

“There’s nothing wrong with spicy food!”

“You’re short,” Nie Huaisang informed the small goblin-like creature with the big grin and the red ribbon in its hair. It looked vaguely fox-like, or possibly like certain large breeds of rabbit.

“Why you..!” Wei Wuxian crossed his furry little paws over his chest. “Just for that, I’m not going to help you.”

“Uh-huh,” Nie Huaisang said. “Really. That’s awful…oh no! A dog!”

Wei Wuxian jumped high into the air. “A dog?! Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan! Save me!”

Much to Nie Huaisang’s surprise, a furry dog immediately darted out of nowhere – only Wei Wuxian didn’t seem afraid of it, but rather hid behind it, teeth chattering.

Truly, Nie Huaisang reflected, the eyes of love are blind.

“I think the ‘dog’ is gone now,” he said. “Your brave and noble Lan Wangji must’ve scared him away.”

Wei Wuxian’s head popped out from behind dog-Wangji. “Well, Lan Zhan is really cool…hey. Are you trying to manipulate me?”

“Is it working?”

“No!”

“So you won’t help me?”

“No!”

“Not even if it means you get to figure out a really tricky puzzle?”

“No – wait. A puzzle?”

“I can’t believe this is going to work,” Lan Xichen muttered from behind Nie Huaisang. “I mean, I can. But also…Wangji…I love you, but you could do so much better than this.”

-

“Ugh,” Nie Huaisang said. “I’m so thirsty.”

“Have some Emperor’s Smile,” Lan Xichen said, offering a jar.

“Amazing,” Nie Huaisang said, accepting it and taking a swing. “I had my doubts, you know, but you’re actually good for something after all, er-ge –”

-

The golden bird was Nie Huaisang’s favorite.

He’d worked so hard to bring it back to his aviary – it couldn’t be forced, he knew; it would play along at first but in the end it would turn on you and bite you. It had to be coaxed with gentleness and kindness, approached indirectly so as not to spook it, convince it that you really did mean well – that you were harmless, that it had no reason to fear you. It was arrogant, too, proud of its shining feathers and ashamed of the brown plumage of its chick days, which still remained visible on its tender underbelly. Ironically, that was Nie Huaisang’s favorite part of it, the soft and gentle part; it might not be as pretty as the gold, but it felt more genuine.

Nie Huaisang smiled as he brushed the beautiful feathers, and the golden bird allowed him. He felt cherished, treasured. So what if he had to hide all the sharp parts of himself to get this close?

It was fine. He didn’t like to be sharp.

He wanted to be soft. Soft and gentle, careless and free, relaxed and without effort, good for nothing –

Wait.

No!

-

“It’s all junk,” Nie Huaisang hissed at the pile of burning fans, tears in his eyes. “I want my da-ge!”

-

“You’re all right!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, helping pulled Nie Huaisang up.

“Huaisang-xiong,” Jiang Cheng said, looking relieved. “You’re back.”

“We have to go to the temple beyond the Goblin City,” Nie Huaisang said, teeth gritted together. “We have to. I won’t let that bastard…we’re going to go there and throw all his damned tricks right in his face!”

“Just us?” Wei Wuxian asked. “I mean, I’m awesome, Lan Zhan is fantastic, and of course Jiang Cheng is great, too, but…uh…there’s a lot of goblins in the city.”

“We’ll sneak in,” Nie Huaisang said. “He thinks he’s sidelined me entirely – he thinks I’m useless. He won’t be expecting me to get this far.”

“I can get help,” Jiang Cheng said. “I have friends.”

“…not to be rude, Jiang-xiong,” Nie Huaisang said. “But – really?”

-

“You know what,” Nie Huaisang said, eyeing the pile of rocks following Jiang Cheng around, each one painted with a name. One of the names was yellow. Two were in white, with forehead ribbons. “This is fine. I feel like it says something really rude about my empathy for and interest in our junior generation, or lack thereof, but you know what? I don’t care. It’s fine.”

-

“You saved me,” Nie Huaisang said blankly, looking at Lan Xichen, who shrugged, abashed. The remains of the mechanical temple guard were scattered all over. “Over – him?”

“Huaisang –”

“No,” Nie Huaisang said, holding up his hands. “Don’t. Don’t…I don’t want to hear you talk.”

Lan Xichen’s head dropped down and he looked at the ground. “You knew from the beginning what I was like,” he murmured. “I never tried to hide it –”

“I forgive you for being what you are,” Nie Huaisang told him, and Lan Xichen looked up at him, startled and pleased. “I forgive you for not having the backbone to stand up against Jin Guangyao for me – or for da-ge. For being willfully blind for so long, for needing someone else’s proof of his ill-intentions, for always picking him first, for never trusting me…I forgive you, even if you’d never forgive me for the same.”

He dashed away the angry tears in his eyes.

“I just wish this wasn’t a fucking metaphor.”

-

Nie Huaisang left the fighting to the people who knew what to do – Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng, even the rock-juniors – and went to the temple at the center of the city alone.

Some things, he knew, needed to be done alone, even if it was the type of alone when you were surrounded by other people. Even when those other people stood by his side and made him promise that if he needed them, he would only need to call. Some things…

“I want my da-ge back,” he said to the maze of stairs.

“Then go and find him,” Jin Guangyao replied, looking smug, and Nie Huaisang had to go up and down all those fucking stairs, because Jin Guangyao was nothing if not predictable with his trauma, looking all over, looking for –

Looking for pieces.

“It’s just a metaphor,” he whispered to himself, ignoring how tears were streaming down his face. “It’s just – I need to put him back together, it’s fine. I’m not too late – I’m not too late –”

-

Jin Guangyao held Nie Mingjue’s head in his hands, blinded and gagged and bound with talismans, pulled out of whatever oubliette he'd shoved it into to forget about what he'd done. “Beware, Huaisang,” he said, still smiling. Always smiling. “I’ve been generous up until now, but I can be cruel.”

Nie Huaisang laughed, scoffing. “Generous? What have you done for me that’s generous?”

“Everything! Everything you’ve wanted, I’ve done – I cared for you, I gave you attention, I got you out of work, doing your schoolwork for you and coming up with excuses to get you out of saber training. I gave you presents, fans and pretty clothing, and when that brute of a brother of yours tried to take them from you, I rescued you. And then I even managed your sect for you, answered all of your questions, any time you had – Huaisang, I’m exhausted trying to live up to your expectations of me. Isn’t that generous?”

Nie Huaisang bared his teeth. “Half of those are burdens that only fell on me because of you. Why should it matter to me that cleaning up your own mess and satisfying your own guilt is hard? Why should I pay such a price when all I wanted was to be your friend? When all da-ge wanted was to be your friend? How dare you, Meng Yao!”

“Huaisang…” Jin Guangyao shook his head mournfully. “Huaisang, the last step here is to say the words to break the spell. But you were never good at memorization, were you?”

Nie Huaisang bit his lip until he drew blood.

“Through dangers untold, and hardships unnumbered,” he said. “I have fought my way here to the temple beyond the goblin city –”

“Huaisang, stop! Look at what you’re risking here. You know how everyone loves me – do you think anyone will forgive you for taking me down, for tricking them all? You’ll be all alone!”

I already am, Nie Huaisang thought.

“My will is as strong as yours,” he said. “And my kingdom is as great…”

His voice trailed off.

“I ask for so little,” Jin Guangyao said beseechingly, convincingly, looking just like he always did, like the man who'd been their friend. “Just let me fool you, and you can have anything you want. No responsibilities, no stress, a life of your own. You can even have Lan Xichen, if that’s what you want…”

What’s the last line, Nie Huaisang thought, hating himself for being such a poor student, for cramming things into his mind without any order, for never being able to retain a single drop of it no matter how hard he tried. What is it? Why can’t I ever remember?

“It’d be so easy,” Jin Guangyao crooned. “Much easier than this. Just fear me, love me, believe me, and I’ll be your slave.”

Sharp teeth in a false smile.

Nie Huaisang shook in terror. He couldn’t – his da-ge needed him – he couldn’t be afraid, couldn’t be a coward, couldn’t be good-for-nothing – couldn’t let Jin Guangyao win – couldn’t let him –

That was it.

Nie Huaisang raised his head until his eyes met his enemy’s.

Sensing something wrong, Jin Guangyao’s eternal smile dimmed, and he began to step forward, reaching out, but it was too late.

“You have no power over me,” Nie Huaisang declared, and the world within a world collapsed.

-

Nie Huaisang opened his eyes.

-

Nie Huaisang sat in his desk in the Unclean Realm, trying to amuse himself by trying to figure out what exactly he’d eaten the night before that had given him such bizarre dreams. It was not successful, on account of him being alone.

Alone, just as he had been every night, and every day as well, since the success of his scheme at the Guanyin Temple.

Just as the dream-Jin Guangyao had threatened.

It wasn’t that Nie Huaisang regretted what he had done – the dream was clear enough about that; he’d do it all again in a heartbeat if he had to. But in the dream he’d been working alongside his former friends, with Lan Xichen betraying but then returning to him, with Wei Wuxian dragging Lan Wangji around, with stone-faced Jiang Cheng and the rather interchangeable junior squad behind him…and in his dream, in the end, they’d let him go to take his revenge, telling him that if he needed them for any reason, he could just call.

Just call, and they’d come back to him. Instead of turning from him in disgust, they’d stand by his side…

“Stupid subconscious,” Nie Huaisang mumbled to himself. “What do you expect? That I'd write to them and say ‘for no real reason at all, I find that I rather need you’?”

Silence answered him.

“Well, I do,” he said with a sigh, putting his chin on his hands. “Does that make you happy? I do need you.”

“You do?” Wei Wuxian’s voice rang out, and Nie Huaisang jumped nearly out of his skin. “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

Nie Huaisang turned, staring: it was Wei Wuxian at the door, the human version of him, and of course there was Lan Wangji right before him, and Jiang Cheng, and the (still mostly interchangeable) juniors, and – and even Lan Xichen, who Nie Huaisang was sure had gone into seclusion with no intent to leave.

“What are you doing here?” Nie Huaisang squeaked. And why hadn’t any of his sect disciples warned him?

“We just bullied our way though the door before anyone could stop us,” Wei Wuxian said cheerfully, answering the unspoken question first. “As for the rest – it turns out that I had the strangest dream the other night, really, truly bizarre, and obviously I had to tell Lan Zhan all about it, except it turned out he had a strange dream too.”

Nie Huaisang’s jaw dropped. “But –”

“I felt da-ge’s qi woven into the labyrinth,” Lan Xichen said quietly. “I thought it’d have long ago dissipated or been locked away, but – it was there, in every stone, in every turn. Every obstacle that didn’t really hurt you, every goblin that was more silly than scary…he was there. It was unmistakable.”

Nie Huaisang swallowed. The story of the labyrinth, baby-stealing wish-granting goblin king and all, had been one that Nie Mingjue had told him as a bedtime story, when he'd been a child in need of comfort; he hadn’t thought of it in years before last night. “But…why…?”

“Because Chifeng-zun has a demented sense of humor?” Jiang Cheng suggested, looking irritated.

“Jiujiu means that he hasn’t had that much fun in years, and also that you should throw a party,” Jin Ling said. “You are hosting all three of the sect leaders of all the other Great Sects. Also, why were we rocks?”

“Uh, no idea,” Nie Huaisang said. “Da-ge’s weird sense of humor, no doubt! Anyway, did you say party? I can do a party!”

He rushed out of the room, calling for his servants, calling for them to bring food and wine and tea, and as he did, he looked out of the window – a golden bird was flying away, looking hunted as if something was chasing it, and even as he watched, it crossed the borders of the Unclean Realm and suddenly dissolved into a fizzle of golden dust.

Nie Huaisang put his hand on the stone wall, and felt a familiar echo.

A very familiar echo.

“Oh,” he said, to his servants, feeling somehow simultaneously sheepish and filled with joy. “And while you’re at it, can you bring me my saber? I seem to have – misplaced it…”

[masquayla-the-splendid]

I can clear up a few things! :D

When we only had the teaser, we went with the narrative that Ennard was this sort of secret puppet master character using the Funtimes as pawns. I wanna say we stuck to that narrative maybe about a month after release, and then we got it. Even 8bit Ryan thought it was just Ballora at the mirror scene, because of how frequently Baby trashes her. Matpat thought "purple eyes=purple guy." Lol it required a little more brain power for these narratives, since the biggest debate at the time was 83 vs 87.

Ennard is between 6"5'-6"7'. I eyeballed a couple renders where they're standing next to a doorway in the Private Room, assumed it was the same height as mine, and accounted for the fact he's hunched over. I even drew a life-size replica of his head, because I'm so normal about this robot, and once I got a chance to play VR1 and he did the lil spook thing with the door, I compared the two. It was pretty spot on. Their head is 1ft without the mask.

If UCN says it, Scott wrote it. I'd be more willing to believe what a direct source says, more than a book or other media that goes through a whole process, but that's just me. Personally, I'm looking at it as evidence that he's more like a Steven Universe fusion, where the components form one whole new person. And once something happens to break the harmony, they come undone. (See the episodes, "Keeping it Together," "Keystone Motel," "Chille Tid," and "Know your Fusion." If Ennard never split, they'd be a lot like Malachite.)

Ennard has not officially been referred to as "they," but it is an entirely plausible option. The character encyclopedia calls him an "it," but I'm more willing to bet that's because this is an outsider talking about a robot anomaly, and not the robot anomaly writing about himself. His name is also a boy's name. (People say it's a play on "innard," and "endoskeleton," but I swear I've heard that name being used before SL.)

If it weren't for grammatical references, Ennard's stature leans a little masculine. Still very ambiguous, but they are trying to fit into a guy. Though I wouldn't doubt they can change their looks at will. The mask they wear, that is a key part of their design, does not include any gender-oriented features. Unless you think bald and/or minimal makeup=male. (If so, may I present: the Toys.)

He's never had any "she/her" happen either, which like you said, Baby is, and she hogs the body from the others. It makes me wonder if these tronics, or any of them, even see themselves aligning with gender at all? Like if you ask Baby what her gender is, would she say "girl," or "I'm an animatronic?" Do they perceive their identities as people, or as machines? It's like the WallE paradox. What makes WallE and EVE a boy and a girl if they are? If not, then would they both be Nonbinary because they're robots? (Well, that would make them completely binary. 🥁)

Best of both worlds, Ennard's a "He/They,"

Day 73

Ennard from Fnaf: Sister Location

Y'know, it's a good thing the animatronics are robots. Because if this guy(s) was human they'd be horrifying. Whether it'd be easier or harder to assume they're their own person is up for debate though. It's almost impressive how a lot of people misunderstood what Ennard is(a messed up fusion of the SL animatronics in order to fit them all into one body), though I assume Pizza Simulator's teasers made it a bit clearer. Really, the only unclear thing is how big they are. I assume they're around human-sized, but trying to apply logic to this series is a good way to get a headache, so it's 50/50

As for who they're a variation of: they're a direct variation of Baby, Funtime Freddy, presumably BonBon, Ballora, and Funtime Foxy, while also being an indirect variation of Freddy, Foxy, Mangle, and maybe Bonnie

Also why did(does?) everyone portray this skin stealer as a dude? They're multiple robots together, a mostly even split of genders, and led by Baby, who's a girl. Even UCN is guilty of this

[earnestly-endlessly]

Hi! I'm wondering if you can make a list of fics where Erik's jewish heritage isn't ignored? I just came across the fact that a lot of authors don't explore this part of him for some reason and i found it kinda upsetting so i'm wondering if you have any recs! I liked "As They Kiss, Consume" and "Who Shall be King Hereafter" by sherwoodfox, in case anyone who's reading this ask is interested in the same topic.

Hi Anon. I'm sorry for taking so long with this list but your request sent me on a wide search for fics that fit with your request. I tried to find a variety of fics where Erik's Jewish heritage is addressed. Some of them aren't necessarily cherik, but most of them are. I hope you enjoy this list.

Mistletoe, Latkes, and Long-Term Revenge Strategies – pocky_slash

Summary: Charles knows that Erik hates working at a department store in the best of times. Being Jewish in a department store during the holiday season is far from the best of times. He does what he can to help.

A Nice Boy (the Family Matters Edition) – pocky_slash

Summary: Erik's not sure whether the problem is that he doesn't want his parents to meet Charles or that he doesn't want Charles to meet his parents. Either way, he never invites Charles to brunch. Why should he? It's not like they're dating.

A Road Trip to Pennsylvania – Aainiouu

Summary: For a year Charles has nurtured the biggest and most embarrassing crush known to man towards Erik. They are friends and roommates and when Erik asks Charles to accompany him to home on Thanksgiving of course Charles goes.

In the Bleak Midwinter – keire_ke

Summary: It is not easy to find out, well into the second decade of the twenty-first century, that your mother arranged a marriage for you. It is even less easy to convince her that you have no interest in the very fertile Magda, she of the wide hips and lustrous auburn hair. Fortunately, with a good friend at his side over the holiday weekend, Erik is sure he will prevail.

Speech Making – phalangine

Summary: Modern Emma AU- Charles Xavier, accomplished matchmaker and headmaster of North America’s preeminent school for mutants, intends to add another notch to his belt: setting up his friend Moira. His oldest friend, Erik, has doubts about this plan.

Charles doesn’t share them.

This is life (and everything’s all right) – pocky_slash

Summary: Edie Lehnsherr came into Charles' life long before he ever heard Erik Lehnsherr's name, and her death left a gaping hole in the lives of everyone in Charles' family. As the first Purim without her approaches, he begins to get creative in his efforts to bring everyone out of their grief. Kitchen creativity, however, is not quite his strength....

Bashert – AvengingAngel

Summary: Erik and Charles meet and fall in love. I wanted to write a story where Erik had a huge family. Pretty fluffy (for me anyways). I suck at summaries.

Note: The summary doesn’t reveal much but if you’re looking for a fic where Erik is jewish and has a large family with a heavy dose of cherik fluff and angst then this one is for you.

Math Reasons – pearl_o,  pocky_slash

Summary: "Mom says Erik always knows what he wants, it just sometimes takes him a little while to actually realize it," Ruth said.

Charles fell in love with Erik the first night they met, the first week of freshman year. Two years of friendship, adventures, arguments, hijinks, secrets, and summer visits later, Erik is starting to catch up.

Ser

It’s kind of our whole things – pearl_o, pocky_slash

Summary: After two years of best friendship, Charles and Erik thought they knew everything there was to know about each other. They're surprised, then, when their first summer as a couple reveals that they have a lot to learn about each other and themselves.

Sequel to Math Reasons

A Winter in New York – nextraordinaire

Summary: Charles and Erik have been childhood friends for as long as they can remember – Erik, living with his mother in Queens, and Charles in the big mansion in Westchester. For all, expect themselves, it was just natural progression that they'd end up together.

A series of ficlets from the same universe – can be read as separate and are out of chronological order.

Baby, It’s Cold Outside – heyjupiter

Summary: "It's just, this is my first Chanukah away from my parents. And it's--it's like 90 degrees out."

Erik Lehnsherr and Kitty Pryde celebrate a Genoshan Chanukah. It's a little different from the way it used to be in New York, but some unexpected visitors help them embrace the spirit of the holiday season.

Hold Back the Rain (front!strict mashup) – euphorbic

Summary: Charles Xavier: society darling, powerful political activist, well-known professor, and Dominant.

Erik Lehnsherr: anti-social, international motorcycle racer, and defiant submissive.

Erik is at Sepang in Malaysia for the fourteenth leg of the International World Championship. After doing poorly in qualifying, he's furious to find he has to take another VIP around the track instead of meeting Charles at the KL airport.

The Swan – waitfornight

Summary: In 1939 Erik and his sister Ruth are sent to Devonshire, England, during the Kindertransport refugee program to live with Kurt and Sharon Marko as foster children just before the start of World War II. Angry and wishing he could return home on the night of his seventeenth birthday, Erik meets a boy alone in the forest who is cursed to transform each day into a swan, only taking his true form by night.

Swan Lake AU.

The boy with the heart on his sleeve – euphorbic

Summary: Charles loses a high-stakes bet to Raven and is required to get a tattoo. However, when he makes a disparaging remark about the art form, Raven's acerbic mentor, Erik, steps in.

Or, the one where Erik and Raven are tattoo artists.

The Wurst Case Scenario – sareyen

Summary:If anyone asked why Charles, come rain, wind or shine, made the significant trek during his dismal lunch hour to dine at "Edie's Kosher Delicatessen", he would stubbornly say that it was because their pastrami on rye and potato knishes were absolutely to die for. He wasn't completely lying, because the deli's namesake, Edie Lehnsherr, made the best matzah ball soup Charles has ever had in his life. Still, Charles would rather shave his full head of hair off than admit that the real reason he would willingly walk through hail and fire to get to the corner deli was because of Erik, the insanely attractive man working the counter.

Sure, Erik has barely spoken two words to Charles other than "Hello, what can I get you?" or, after the third day in a row that Charles came to the deli, "Welcome back, what can I get you?", but Charles was more than happy to just ogle at the man from afar while devouring the juicy wurst Erik had put together with his (large and very capable) hands.

But, little does Charles know, Erik doesn't usually work the front counter. He only does it when he knows the cute blue-eyed man will be dining in.

This is life (and everything’s all right) – pocky_slash

Summary: Edie Lehnsherr came into Charles' life long before he ever heard Erik Lehnsherr's name, and her death left a gaping hole in the lives of everyone in Charles' family. As the first Purim without her approaches, he begins to get creative in his efforts to bring everyone out of their grief. Kitchen creativity, however, is not quite his strength....

c'est regarder ensemble dans la même direction – melonbutterfly

Summary: Since that day on the beach, Charles and Erik have learned to agree to disagree for the sake of living and working together. Then, for Christmas, and Charles gives Erik Hanukkah back a second time, and their relationship shifts a little further.

Terrible Hanukkah Sweaters and Other Life Challenges – professor

Summary: “Why am I here again?” Erik groans.

“I need you to lift things and glower at people over my shoulder when I tell people that it’s not ‘politically correct’ or a ‘war on Christmas’ to have a non-denominational winter holiday festival,” says Theresa Pryde.

Well, at least those are two things he’s good at.

Shrapnel – librata

Summary: It's late 1940, and tensions between the Axis and the Allies are tightening. Displaced and alone, 16-year-old German Jew Erik Lehnsherr finds himself employed as a servant by some snobby, terrible family in England whose house is far too big and whose money never seems to end. The worst part is, he isn't just mucking stables or cleaning plates–-he's tasked with tending to the whiny, disabled son named Charles, who might just drive Erik into absolute madness.

Or, the World War II fic in which Erik and Charles experience a changing world and a lot of teen angst.

Defying Expectations – Baamon5evr

Summary: Charles and Erik meet each other’s family. Neither of them gets what they expect.

table for three – pocky_slash

Summary: Erik should have known to call ahead to the Chinese restaurant--it's Christmas Eve and he lives in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood, after all. But before he can go home to mourn the loss of another one of his mother's yearly traditions, he's accosted by a teenage girl with a strange proposition--that he should stay and have dinner with her and her mother, instead.

different from all other nights – metonymy

Summary: "This year we are slaves; next year we will be free." Kitty and Erik host a seder for Passover at the Xavier School.

Libertad – ariadnes_string

Summary: Erik knew the look, had seen it his whole life, even before the war.  ”You, with your height and blue eyes and straight nose, you can pass. You can be free of us. You are not marked with your difference.” If you only knew, he’d thought then. He thought the same thing now. And it was that thought, as much as anything, that made him move towards the gate.

Wash Away – sebastian2017

Summary: One quiet, lonely morning, before Yom Kippur, Erik makes his way to the sea in search of forgiveness.

After? There is No ‘After’ – Unrepentant_Marvelist

Summary: Erik knows what he is for. He has known his responsibilities as a survivor since the moment he woke under a scratchy, lice-infested blanket in the Red Army hospital. His world is painted in lucid blacks and whites (so often splashed in red) and there is no room for uncertainty or indecision... until a certain sunburned Englishman throws himself into his world.

The Children of an Idle Brain – Margo_Kim

Summary: Sometimes, when he’s lucky, Schmidt can’t hurt him. It’s like there’s a room inside of Erik’s head that’s he’s usually locked out of, that won’t open no matter if he beats himself bloody against it. On those days, he endures. But sometimes—and Erik doesn’t know why, whether it’s that the stars align or some higher power takes pity or Erik screams loud enough to earn his reward—the door opens. Erik can duck inside and slam it behind him and watches himself through the windows as Schmidt slowly, methodically tortures him to strength.

These days, this past week, there’s a boy in the room with him and he tells Erik, “That’s horrible,” like that means something.

Somehow, across the world, Erik's and Charles' minds touch when they need each other most. They can't be sure that the other boy is real. They suspect that he is not. But that doesn't mean they aren't each other's lifeline until they lose each other and then for a while longer.

Tehillim – kvikindi

Summary: Erik, in Israel, afterwards: another life he could have had. If.

I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) – childishinquiry

Summary: Erik has worn long sleeves his whole life, even before they had to wear yellow stars. Marching along his arm, in neat, black, English letters, are the words "My name's Charles Xavier."

Precious Few Years – sherwoodfox

Summary: Erik and Charles (known only to each other by the letters inscribed on their wrists) are meant to be together, soulmates, destined for the most powerful kind of love and connection a human being can experience.

But they are separated in almost every possible way- by distance, by circumstance, by language, by war. Their chances of success- of finding one another in the labyrinth of the world- are very slim. There is a reason why most people never find their soulmates.

But of course, Charles and Erik aren't ordinary children-

They have their gifts.

[limitlessgojo]

Blood Bound: Blackened Bond (Ch 16)

Warnings: Action, Coarse Language, Fighting, Descriptions of Blood, Death, Gore, Japanese Mythical Folklore, No Major Character Death

Previous Chapter: 土御門天皇 (Tsuchimikado)

Next Chapter: Inferno: Flames of Hell

Word Count: 3.3k

Tags: Kamo Noritoshi x Reader, Soulmates AU, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Fem!Reader

Taglist: @lessie-oxj @rizzo-nero @whoreuc @fkngkumiko @isl3t @gojoussunglasses @onepotatostand-blog @s-t-f-u-b-i-t-c-h @sunaswife @lordguameow @track5enthusiast @nayydoesthings

Notes: If you want to be tagged for every update, and specify if you're okay with NSFW posts or not, please mention it in the comments below ty ❤

This chapter is LONG, a lot longer than I expected haha, happy reading!

Chapter 16: Non-Standard

Noritoshi was in a shitty mood to say the least. He went home to his clan immediately after getting a summon. The clan head had discussed their stance on the upcoming war and is readying their jujutsu sorcerers for battle.

His half-brother had made a not too subtle snarky remark about you. "You've already gotten yourself a woman? Wonder if she even likes you. I'm willing to bet Homura's cuter than her." Secretly his brother was curious about you, having heard about your special grade status.

Noritoshi steeled himself, knowing his brother's playboy tendencies at his school.

"That's enough. I am quite serious about her, so don't even think of taking her."

He watched his brother shut up upon seeing him like this and left him hanging.

'Heeehhh? That Noritoshi is actually interested in someone? Interesting…'

Other serious matters aside, his father, as usual, asked about you, only for him to find out you've both gotten into an argument.

The head of the Kamo clan only raised an eyebrow. "That’s normal for every couple."

Noritoshi kept his temper at bay. But he couldn't help resenting his phone call with his father that day. If his father was less controlling and obsessive over their clan status, maybe it would have gone better.

No... He was also influenced by the elders. Ashamed as Noritoshi was to acknowledge it himself.

“We… broke up…”

At that, his father shuts his eyes, mood obviously souring.

"You are literally a fated pair, how is that even possible? *sigh* If it proves too difficult with her… well we had that list of marriage partners set up for you. Homura has made it quite clear she and her family would be very delighted to assimilate with ours."

Is this what Noritoshi wanted? A woman who obviously flirted with him as she lusted for power? No, he wanted you, who never inquired about his status. Just about his family, his mom, dad and half siblings.

You made it very clear you were worried about his family's well-being. And whether they would like you or not. You want him to meet yours. You never even asked him for a gift or much favors. (Though he had a feeling your family was pretty well off, based on your clothes and jewellery.)

And he loved the fact that he could breathe like a regular teenage guy around you. The only thing you’ve requested from him so far was honesty and transparency.

"No. That won't be needed. Y/N is mine. She is the only one for me." He spoke slowly and clearly. This is the first time he actually disagreed with his father. He'd lose his sanity without you.

"I expected as much, I've never seen you this determined about something before. Soulmates are so complicated." His father sighed out. "Do as you wish. It isn't wise for me or the elders to interfere with something as sacred and ancient as this soulbond you share with her anyways."

Noritoshi felt himself earn a small win at that. He was growing a backbone. "Thank you father."

“However! You cannot force her to love you back. Surely you know this. If you don’t get married by the age of 25, as per our clan tradition I’ll have you set up with another woman.”

Noritoshi inwardly sighed, resigned to his fate.

◇◇◇

Needless to say, you trained like a demon as the eve of Christmas quickly approached. Nobody dared come 10 feet near you as you perfected your Blizzard and Tornado techniques. It was normal to hear the crack of a sonic boom and see flashes of lightning around you.

You were hesitant to use your cursed technique reversal. You barely use flames and Inferno in general, but it can't be helped. But now you hold a pack of matches in your hand.

You lit a match and manipulated the flames. It danced dangerously around your fingers before you moved it from one hand to the other.

You were doing well. Spending a lot of time here on campus helped you to control your emotions and not let anger fuel your cursed energy like you did when you were younger. Those were such bad habits.

A wheel of flame circled in front of you. Very clean and stable. All of the sudden, a strong whirl of wind and empty space extinguished the flames like a vacuum … Only one other person in Japan is capable of doing that other than you.

You turned your head to the side and saw an incredibly tall man with snow white hair and a pair of sunglasses approached you. His bright baby blue eyes gently twinkling and peeking over the rims of his shades.

“Satoru nii, it’s been a while. Why visit me now?” You tiredly asked. He came up just a few inches away from you, staring down at you.

“I got a call from Hiroki. I’m here to help you with your special cursed techniques. It’s time, you’ve stopped holding yourself back Neko-chan.” He leered down with his trademark grin.

◇◇◇

You spend the entire afternoon getting pushed around by Satoru. This man was crazy strong. He kicked you against a tree. “OOF” you heaved.

"You avoid using Inferno. Is it because of your childhood trauma? I'm not shaming you but it's something you need to overcome."

You frowned at his words.

"You only have today to train with me y/n! Aren’t you honored I went out of my way from Tokyo to Kyoto?”

"Like hell I am."

“You’re not using the full extent of your cursed techniques. That power is your one true ally in this world. Trust it a bit more. Apart from your soulmate anyways, but I can see you and Noritoshi aren't exactly swell right now." Your eye twitched at that statement.

Satoru eyed the broken strands of red ropes that floated around you. Not a good sign. It was reaching out to the distance. Maybe to where Noritoshi is huh, Satoru wondered. Until he spotted one thin string, still very much intact and alive. He grinned.

‘This prick and his fucking special eye abilities’, you grumbled. He hit your back hard, “What bad language you have. Imma straighten you up today kitteeeen~”

He pranced around you and squatted to lean down to your level.

"But seriously, you say you want to get strong but you fear your own power kitten. Don't do that." Satoru pointed straight at your eyes. “Remove the fear of hurting the people around you. Because you’re literally fighting to protect the ones you love, focus instead on harnessing your cursed energy to fight. Your messed up emotions could cost you a fight, even your life. Doesn’t matter if you’re a special grade like me. At this rate you won’t catch up to me.”

You slumped to the ground in defeat.

“To be honest, I feel like my growth has stunted. I don’t know if it’s the lack of powerful opponents I’ve had lately.”

He sighed out so loudly and obnoxiously that your anger flared up at him. “Thaaat’s what I kept telling you. You shoulda come to Tokyo Jujutsu instead of here! 100% I would enjoy teaching you and I mean it. I could teach you ya know, and Yuuta is there as well. Another Special Grade, although his circumstances are quite unique and with the way he is right now, you have a better chance at beating him one-on-one since he’s a newbie to this world. And yet you kept saying you wanted to be here for your family.” He shook his head.

You felt as though your head cleared up all of a sudden. “Because I was here…. I was meant to be here. Satoru. I know it deep in my soul. Because I met Noritoshi and…. “ Your heart throbbed so loudly you heard it in your ears. A deep pain stabbed into you.

Ah right. You said you were over him. You broke up with him weeks ago.

“And? You’re not together anymore. Figure out your heart and I could let you reconsider transferring to Tokyo Jujutsu High you know?” He said with a frown.

Why does the idea of leaving Noritoshi behind feeling like you were carving your heart out? He isn’t anything to you anymore and yet…

No. Enough of this. You’re here to train and fight that curse that killed Sora. Your emotions were all over the place. Satoru came up to you and wiped your tears off your face.

“What are you doing to yourself y/n? Don’t lie to yourself. I thought you wanted to live life as honestly as possible.” Even Satoru looked concerned and troubled over your state.

You gulped. “Yeah you’re right. I told myself I wanted to get stronger and protect the ones I love. Now I’m just running away. Noritoshi at least has been trying to reach out to me, but I shut him down.” Your heart is hurting.

Satoru stared at you and the cursed energy that was rapidly pulsing around you. Then grinned. “Then... Fight me one-on-one right here right now. Let’s make sure to keep the damages to a minimum and take care of the buildings. All the other students are still here on campus. Sky's the limit since both of us can move well in mid-air. I want to see you control your emotions and fight me properly. I’ll hold back.” He said.

You took a deep breath and looked back up. “Challenge accepted.”

You’ve envisioned this countless times. You wanted to see how you could match-up against Satoru and all his years of experience. You weren’t expecting to win, but you were not going down without a fight. Your cursed technique is actually a good matchup for his.

You can manipulate molecules. Though you suspect his control is on an atomic level, and thus could overpower yours due to his finesse and 6 eyes. But you could at the very least try.

Satoru, on the other hand, already knew of your potential. 'She is the only one I know who can actually touch and surpass me, given that she can control gravity and condense molecules. It will come down to timing and refining techniques.'

“Give me 5 minutes to suit up.” You asked. He agreed. You flew to your room and eyed the katana of your father. He actually planned to give it to Sora when she turns 16. But due to her death, he gave it to you instead on your 16th.

The name was Kintsugi, because it was made of two halves before being welded together in the centre with high grade steel. The center has a core of a fine diamond dust that’s infused with cursed energy. It’s a grade 1 special tool that multiplies the cursed energy you put into it by 10.

“Don’t break it. Don’t break it…. But It’s Satoru I’m going against. It will break.” And so you put it back and instead reached for your best twin blades and metallic whip. You coiled it around your wrist like a bangle, before flying back to Satoru.

“Done preparing, kitten?” He had removed his sunglasses and his blue eyes were out wide open as they assessed your cursed technique.

“Yep!” You yelled. “Ah Toru, shouldn’t we inform the elders or Utahime sensei that we-”

He didn’t give you time to speak as he appeared in front of you all of the sudden. Rushing with a right hook. You quickly dodged. He kept his word and is going easy on you at least.

You exchanged a few blows with him, both his limitless and your spacial barrier active so technically, no hits were landed.

Until you warped the space and forced the molecules around them to retract, making you actually reach and hit him.

He must have expected the solid punch, because in return, he kicked you as he warped off your spacial barrier. You eyed him as you regrouped. It’s anyone’s game huh.

“You’re still holding back! Are you going to be like this in a real battle? Are you okay with staying weak? Or do you have to wait for someone special to die before you ignite?!”

Oh no he didn’t. Your emotions raged, and you tried to calm them down. But all you saw was blood red. You never felt this angry at Satoru before. Before you knew it, you had activated inferno, making the entire surrounding area, which Satoru was in, combust and burn up in flames.

You lit up a match and pulled the flames on the ground and trees towards your smaller flame and held a massive ball of fire. Satoru was gone, it was only soot on the ground. You looked up to see him hurtling down at you.

You barely dodged, before wrapping the flames around you as you used it to strike at him repeatedly. You both rose up higher and higher into the air.

“Special art: Goldenrod,” you shot a bolt of lightning at Satoru only for him to dodge it. “Don’t just shoot it from your hands! Electricity is a current! You can make it run through your entire body!” He yelled as you both spiraled and fought over the campus.

He had the energy to teach you while you were fighting. You scoffed, but listened carefully, generating electricity in your hands before letting it wrap around you.

You were both dodging and striking at each other with such power. The trees swayed violently as winds and rubble were thrown about.

“What on earth…” Noritoshi and the other students stared at the flashes of fire, lightning, and wind above the campus.

The sky darkened. Good. If you had water, that was another asset.

He must have realized this as he immediately activated his Cursed Technique: Reversal. “Red.” You were forced back, plummeting to the ground. You swiftly turned and saw Miwa and Mai staring at you with horror.

You pulled yourself up back into the sky, still filled with fire and lightning, narrowly missing the building. You twisted your fingers to the side. The flames turned into the shape of the Dragon and you whipped back to hit Satoru from the front while your dragon of flame hit him from behind.

He danced around your attacks, teleporting from one area to the next to dodge them.

He then easily extinguished your flames with a flick of his wrist, but your lightning stayed. He can’t extinguish it, because it was coursing through your body, constantly moving.

You both stood, hundreds of feet high above the Kyoto Campus in midair. Lightning flashed above and winds howled.

You’ve never been pushed this hard your entire life. Not with Hiroki. Not with Todo. But Satoru was really on another level of strong. Unbreakable like a monster. He didn’t feel human anymore.

You tried for a Mach Speed hit, which you’ve never tried on anyone else; it would kill them on impact. “Mach 3.5” There was a loud BANG!

Going at Mach Speed has its limits of course. You can afford to do Mach 1, 5 times a day. Mach 2, 3 times, and Mach 4 only once.

A huge cone of smoke formed behind you as you launched yourself at Satoru. He was still able to evade you, but you pointed one hand to him, quickly following up on another attack.

“Fubuki.” Your blizzard technique was a combination of Niflheim and Tatsumaki. Cold air whipped around you and you thrust it towards Satoru. A mini tornado has formed around you and it pushed and pulled widely. But you were in the eye of the storm.

Satoru dodged your winds, but couldn’t escape them all, wincing as some small ice shards cut into his skin. He attracted debris and rocks towards you. One caught on your shoulder, making you yell in pain, but the rest you were able to guard against with your winds.

He immediately closed in on you to prevent you from doing another full blast and punched with ‘Red’. You countered with a roundhouse kick supercharged with your blizzard and lightning, neutralising his infinity jujutsu with a bit of mixed gravity control.

A huge gust of whirlwind was emitted from the impact, forcing everyone on campus down to the ground.

“GOJO! TSUCHIMIKADO! STOP THIS!” Utahime was screaming at the top of her lungs, still heard over the roar of thunderclap.

You both looked at each other and knew it had to end soon. Rain was starting to fall.

He threw his back and laughed out loud. “I hadn’t had this much fun in ages. You’ve grown really strong. Stop me if you can.” And flew away from the buildings and into the surrounding forest. You whipped your tornado around you and quickly followed him.

All the other students that had been watching you go at it followed. Utahime did as well. They stood from a distance as both of you exchanged more hits.

You lit another match and let arrows made of flames rain on Satoru, weakening his limitless barrier as much as you could. Only one arrow slightly singed his sleeve. Damn he was good.

Satoru attracted your body with “Cursed Technique Lapse: Blue.” You felt like your insides were tearing as you tried to stop his force. But his limitless technique easily overpowered yours. You let go and rushed towards him with both your swords out.

He easily sidestepped and kicked them out of your grasp. The hit was so heavy, even though it hit your swords, you felt the force reverberate throughout your body.

Satoru grabbed your neck from behind, and for the very first time since you were awarded the Special Grade Jujutsushi status, you were forced down onto the ground.

You used your cursed technique to soften the blow as much as possible, but Satoru was relentless as he slammed you head-first down onto the grass.

Everyone winced as you hit the ground hard. "He's not human." Mai said. Everyone agreed, not used to seeing you at the mercy of another party like this. They were reminded of who exactly was the strongest sorcerer alive.

In order to win against Satoru, your goal was to touch him and move past his limitless barrier. Even if it’s just for a moment. You couldn’t use Niflheim or Inferno from afar. He would remain unaffected as he guards and stops the change in movement of molecules around him.

But now his hand was around your neck. Your twin blades suddenly rush to close in around his neck in an x position to gather his attention, while you use your technique to warp the space around his hand to weaken limitless and hold onto him.

You lashed out with your metallic whip, letting your cursed technique run through it. It worked and scratched his cheek a bit.

"Enhanced gravity: Output 30%", the ground cracked underneath the both of you as a massive weight pressed down. And then you shocked both Satoru and yourself with the lightning coursing through you. Screaming at the pain in the process.

He gritted his teeth as volts shocked his bones.

Utahime and the others stared at both of you. "What a huge amount of cursed energy." Todo said in awe. "Non-standard Jujutsu users are insane."

Satoru still had the strength to hit your lower back which caused you to heave out and stop Goldenrod from activating. Both of your clothes were literally toasted. “Haha. You’re a scary one y/n.”

That’s all you remembered before you passed out; you were out of cursed energy.

◇◇◇

Noritoshi rushed over to take you in his arms. Pulling your unconscious body close to his, he gave you a once-over. You had just fainted from exhaustion, there were no serious injuries. Good.

"Noritoshi," Satoru called.

"Yes, Gojo San?"

"Take care of her for me please."

He straightened up, "Of course. There’s no need to ask that from me." He then carried you to the infirmary, holding you gently in his arms.

Blood Bound: Table of Contents

Author's Notes: Me writing this entire scene: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!! (x100)

Y/n was able to fight on par with Satoru, because he chose to limit his cursed energy output and match his skills to her level. A psychokinesis cursed technique would be a natural enemy for limitless since you can condense and expand space between molecules. But you still lack experience in battle. And if we were going to talk about Domains, Satoru would dominate the battle.

[drawlfoy]

Wonders of Ohio P.10

masterlist request guidelines

pairing: draco x reader

request: no way 

summary: american high school senior y/n y/l/n is in for a surprise when her british exchange student is a little...odd. 

warnings (AYO please pay attention to these this time it’s not just swearing): swearing, underage drinking (no i do not condone this ig), beginning elements of smut but def not too explicit, i think you can consider it dubcon ?? if both people are drunk bc i don’t think you can actually consent if youre drunk (plz rest assured tho they are both 18 hehe)

a/n: “hey where did this come from” yeah so hey yall ive never written such an intense scene before but i’ve spent so much time w these characters that i decided i kind of had to. there’s no like...real sex in this and i don’t imagine that i’d describe it in this much detail if i ever decided to write it but um.. anyways. i hope y’all enjoy. thanks for suffering for this long ! i hope i’ve made it worth it 

word count: 4k

music recs: 

cloud 9 -- beach bunny

the adults are talking -- the strokes

anything from the strokes tbh 

tags ! :) @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell @writeandtranslate @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural @sycathorn-slush @big-galaxy-chaos

“Thank fucking god for the generator,” said Y/N as she flew around the kitchen, banging pots and pans together in her quest to make New Year’s Eve breakfast. Draco was sitting, unamused and completely silent, at the table. They’d been snowed in for a few days now with her parents nowhere near able to make it to the suburbs. For some reason, the entire city of Cincinnati had decided that the day before Christmas was the best time to schedule maintenance on literally every single one of their plows. “Can you imagine living here without heat? Or power? I’d die.”

Draco hummed in response. A glance over confirmed that he was deep in thought, a scarlet colored letter clutched firmly in his hand (hello, Nathaniel Hawthorne). Jealousy curdled inside of her as her thoughts turned to a dark place--it was Pansy, that Pansy Parkinson. 

Knowing her intuition, she was probably his grandmother or something. Why else would she have written so many letters?

After she finished plating all of the pancakes, she allowed herself to sneak a peek at the envelope. 

Astoria Greengrass

She frowned. Astoria? She’d never seen that name before. 

“What is this?” asked Draco as he picked up his fork to poke at the pancake on his plate.

Y/N’s jaw dropped. “Have you never had a pancake before?”

“A pancake?” He gave his plate a stern look. “It looks...like a soggy pastry.”

“Fuck you, I made that,” responded Y/N. “Try it with butter and maple syrup. And then tell me it’s a soggy pastry.”

She took out her fork and knife, demonstrating very clearly what she meant as she spread butter over the top of her pancake. She’d learned that Draco was too proud to ask what she meant when she introduced him to American/muggle foods--the last time he tried to deduce something himself, he ended up pouring ketchup over the top of his hamburger bun instead of actually putting it on the patty. 

A sense of satisfaction flowed into her as she saw him follow suit, spreading the warmed butter and dipping a cut piece in syrup. He raised it to his lips, taking a delicate bite.

“Americans really have this for breakfast?”

“Yeah…is something wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just…” He grimaced. “This isn’t breakfast. This is dessert food.”

“God, your life must be so sad back home,” said Y/N. “What does your family make you eat--just straight unbuttered bread under the guise of it being a real breakfast food? Do they let you dip it in your unsweetened, weak tea if you’re good?”

He scoffed. “You have no idea how I live back at home.”

“And, judging from this conversation, I don’t have any desire to know any more.”

They ate in silence for the next few minutes. Y/N smiled when she saw Draco reach for a second pancake.

“Two desserts? Draco, I know it’s New Year’s, but don’t get too off the hinges,” she teased. 

He rolled his eyes, but she could tell her was fighting back a smile. “Speaking of which, how do you celebrate New Year’s?”

Draco looked up and met her eyes. “Sorry?”

“How do you celebrate tonight? With your family or your friends, or your...whatever.” The cold reality of the fact that she did not really know if he was dating someone back home set in.

“Oh, I don’t usually. It’s not really a big thing in the magical community,” he mused, unaware of her sudden panic.

“Well,” she said. “I always celebrate New Year’s with my friends. I didn’t tell you this sooner because I didn’t think that you were going to be here, but I’m kind of hosting a party here tonight. With anyone who can walk here.”

“Oh.” He took a sip of his tea. “Will it be like the Halloween party at Sylvia’s?”

“What do you mean?” She smiled. “Do you mean, will there be drinking?”

He shrugged in response, avoiding eye contact.

“There definitely can be,” she continued, her smile widening. “Last year we played this dumb drinking game over this card game--if you lost, you took a shot. It was fun. We could do that again.”

She settled down to eat, digging into two of the pancakes. They were really good--she wasn’t Gordon Ramsay by any means, but she did breakfast food pretty well. But at the mention of her friends, a realization hit her. “Oh. Draco?”

He raised an eyebrow and met her eyes.

“Um, can I tell you something?” 

He dipped his head in recognition while Y/N cleared her throat.

“So, um, I forgot about this,” she began, “but while you were gone, I kind of had to scramble to figure out what to tell everyone about why we were avoiding each other before you left. And why you left so suddenly and why I didn’t know.”

He was still watching her in curious silence. 

“So, I really didn’t want to slip up or say anything about...you.” Y/N paused to take a sip of her tea, deciding to not try to look at Draco again. “So I decided to tell Sylvia and Lizzy that I told you my feelings for you and you didn’t return them.”

A clang startled her enough to look up. Draco was staring, completely frozen. His fork had fallen into the syrup on his plate, handle and all.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 

“I mean, oh, fuck. Um.” She smiled at him, hoping it was going to distract from her audible stumble. “Obviously, I made it all up. I mean, both sides! But what’s important is that they bought it, and now they’re probably going to give you a little shit for not liking me ‘back’. So I’m sorry about that.”

“Made it all up, huh?” His voice had a surprisingly teasing lilt. 

“Yes, that is in fact what I said,” she responded, hoping that her cheeks weren’t as red as they felt hot.

“Is it really now?” 

“Draco!” 

He rolled his eyes. “I’ll be back. I need a new fork.”

“Just wipe off the handle of the one you have now--Draco, why are you getting up? Stop!”

~ 

To her disappointment, none of her friends were able to show. Sylvia and Lizzy made a concerted effort to try and convince their family to let them brave the walk, but once another flurry started up outside, it was hopeless. Her face turned pink whenever she thought about the fact that she hadn’t even needed to tell Draco the thing that made her slip up in the first place. 

Y/N, disappointed but not surprised, told Draco that she still wanted to celebrate, even if it was just with him. He’d snorted at this--asking her why she made it seem like such a burden--but once she produced a yellow glass bottle and a deck of cards and told him she bet that she was going to beat his sorry ass, he caved.

She started with a heavy lead, but once Draco learned the rules and strategies of the slightly convoluted Go Fish game, he proved to be a worthy match. They played until around 11:45 when the bottle was about 3/4 full and Y/N was feeling the pleasant warmth of being slightly intoxicated. Once she noticed the time, she threw her cards on the table. 

“Let’s watch the ball drop,” Y/N said with no further explanation, even when Draco looked to her for one. She grabbed the bottle and his hand, pulling him up the stairs to her room. The remote control for her TV was a struggle to find--it was all the way tucked back in her nightstand drawer--but thankfully the channel was already set. 

“You forgot the cups,” Draco said, staring down at the opened bottle held in his hand.

“You can get them if you want,” she managed.

“You should! You forgot them.”

“Too far,” she whined, flopping to lean back on her pillows while Draco followed suit. His hair smelled like peppermint. Without much more thought, she moved close enough that their shoulders were touching. He didn’t move away--instead, he lifted the bottle to his lips and took a drink directly. 

“Your New Year’s traditions are weird as fuck,” he murmured as he watched Savannah Guthrie on the screen. He didn’t have to speak very loud for her to hear him, and it seemed like he knew this.

“Oh, you haven’t even heard it all yet,” said Y/N. “We’ve got a tradition to kiss someone going into the New Year. New Year’s kiss, I guess. I’m sure you can imagine the kind of drama that creates.”

“What d’you mean?”

“You don’t have to be dating to kiss someone, sometimes people just...do it. As friends.” Y/N reached over to the bottle and took a swig herself, feeling the warmth trickle down her throat.

“Take it easy,” he tutted, pulling the bottle away from her before taking another drink himself. 

“Hey! Says you!”

“Because I can actually hold my liquor well,” he teased, giving her a shove.

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“You just kept getting worse and worse at whatever that game was,” he told her matter-of-factly.

“Give it here,” she said, reaching across his chest to where he was holding the bottle, out and above his head. She hoped he couldn’t tell how much this side of him filled her with glee. “That’s not fair!”

“Not fair, huh?” He raised an eyebrow and met her eyes as he held it up even further into the air. His voice was startlingly low. “So what are you gonna do about it?”

Before she could muster up a response, the TV began playing the audio for the New Year’s Countdown.

10!

Y/N wasn’t sure if she was supposed to answer--or if he was just...flirting?

9!

He managed to set the bottle on her nightstand without taking his eyes off of her.

8!

The hand she had used to reach across him with was now pressed into his side of the bed, supporting her as she hovered over him.

7!

Without moving any part of her body, she dared to glance at his parted lips.

6!

Maybe telling him about the kiss tradition was a stupid idea.

5!

His hand, warm and soft,  reached up to brush a piece of hair away from her cheekbone. 

4! 

His fingers lingered on the outline of her jaw.

3!

2!

1!

He was kissing her before the cheers from the TV even had the chance to bounce around the room, both hands cupping her face and pulling her in so desperately that it took her breath away.

Her hands found his shoulders, then the back of his neck, and then, eventually his hair. It was just as soft as she imagined it to be. They started out innocently enough--closed mouth kisses and only their hands touching each other above the shoulders--but once she tugged on his hair (mostly by accident) something...shifted. 

Suddenly he was on top of her, and suddenly her leg was wrapped around him as he tilted his head, deepening the kiss. It occurred to her that this was no longer just a New Year’s kiss. He tasted of lemon and sugar--and was notably better at what he was doing than any of the people she’d kissed before. Or maybe it was the alcohol clouding her judgement. Regardless, she liked whatever was going on. His hands had drifted from her face to her neck to her hair to her shoulder, gently tracing the outline of her bra strap. She brushed her hand down his chest, pulling gently at the collar on his shirt. Only when his leg pressed up into her and her breath hitched did she realize the weight of their situation.

The way he pulled away to hover over her signaled that he’d had the same revelation, his eyes wide as he stared down at her. “Um…”

“Yeah?” Dread crept into her despite the pleasant haze she was in. 

He swallowed, hard. “I can’t believe I did that.”

Draco was on the other side of the bed in seconds, wringing his hands and keeping his eyes fixed on her floor. “Oh, my god, I can’t believe I did that. I’m sorry. I’m drunk and I’m not thinking straight. I’m so sorry.”

“Is something wrong?” She didn’t know if he wanted her to touch him, but she wanted so badly to place a steadying hand on his shoulder. “Did you not want...it?”

He scoffed and turned his gaze up to the ceiling. “I had too much to drink. I’m sorry.”

“Oh.” Y/N felt the blood drain from her face as she fell back on the bed.

That’s all it was. A drunken mistake. 

Tears pricked at her eyes as she surveyed her options. Despite the fact that she was drunk off her ass, she knew she couldn’t just tell him to leave without making her feelings clear. She never explicitly told him that she wanted him and it wasn’t like she moaned his name or anything--thank god--but what other option did she have? She didn’t want to cry in front of him, and if he stayed in her room any longer he would without a doubt witness her alcohol induced cry fest. 

NBC finally switched to ads, and Y/N granted herself permission to mourn the fact that Flo from Progressive would forever be ruined for her. 

It was dark enough for her to quickly reach up and wipe her eyes undetected, granting her enough confidence to sit up and look at him directly. “You don’t get to just...kiss me like that. I hope you know that.”

“I know,” he said. His hands were clasped tightly together and rested on his nose. “Fuck. Of course I know.”

“But you can tell me you meant it to be just as friends,” she told him, hoping he couldn’t see how hard she was fighting back a new wave of tears. 

“As friends,” he repeated, his tone flat. 

“As friends,” she said. 

“I don’t think either of us are daft enough to believe that.” 

Her stomach twisted. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe things are different in America, but I don’t see you doing that sort of thing with Lizzy.”

“We can forget about this. It’s fine. I know you regret it.”

He exhaled, his breath long and shaky. “I didn’t stop because I regretted it.”

“Then why did you?”

“Because…”

“Is it because I’m a muggle?” His silence was everything she needed for an answer. “Okay. I had a feeling.”

“Y/N, it’s not like...I don’t know how to explain it.” He still wouldn’t make eye contact with her. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“About what?” 

“About this!” he said, dramatically gesturing to her. “About everything!”

“I don’t understand.” The tears began pricking in the corners of her eyes again despite her best efforts. 

Draco finally looked at her. She was shocked by how genuinely distressed he looked--the last time he looked at her like this, she’d been laying on the ground outside of the antique sore. “I don’t expect you to.”

His tone was low, careful. He was holding back.

“Can you just tell me how you feel about me, then? Just so I know?”

“It’s not that--” He stopped himself, sucking in another breath before he continued. “I shouldn’t. It’s not right of me.” He groaned, flopping onto his back and covering his face. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Hey,” Y/N said, reaching out to awkwardly pat his shoulder. “I meant it when I said that we could just forget about it. We’re friends, Draco. Just friends. I know you didn’t mean it. Let’s just pretend this never happened, ok?”

He was quiet for a bit before responding. “Did you...want me to kiss you? Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“Uncomfortable?”

“As in, did you want me to stop?”

“Oh.” Y/N cracked her knuckles. “You didn’t violate me if you’re asking to gauge how guilty you should be.” 

“I’m glad to hear that, but that’s not why I’m asking.”

“Okay,” she said simply. He was still laying in her bed, and she hated the fact that her bed was going to smell like him until she washed everything. 

“So?” He raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t answer.”

“We’re friends, Draco.” She sent him a weak smile as she repeated her previous sentiment. “I trust you, so you didn’t make me uncomfortable.” 

She was aware of the fact that her sentence didn’t exactly track, but she wasn’t particularly concerned with the literary quality of her speech.

“That still doesn’t answer my other question.”

“I…” She felt her throat dry up. “I want--I wanted you to kiss me. I’ve wanted you to kiss me for a while now.” 

At this, he finally sat up and looked her in the eyes. She thought she could see the briefest glint of relief pass over his face before he managed to rein it back to a neutral expression.

“Did you want to kiss me?”

“I was the one who kissed you, not the other way around, yeah?”

“That still doesn’t answer my question,” she snipped, hoping he caught on to her mocking. She’d missed sparring with him. 

“Yes, I kissed you because I wanted to, not for some weird ulterior motive,” he responded, rolling his eyes despite the fact that his cheeks were clearly very pink, even in her dimly lit room. “Though I agree it’s best if we just stayed friends.”

“Yeah.” She felt her face fall, but she managed to catch it before she looked too devastated. “It’s all water under the bridge. Now we know not to drink together again.”

“That too.” He shifted, clearing his throat before making eye contact with her again with an uncharacteristically soft expression. “But the damage is already done, I suppose?”

“I suppose,” she echoed. “You wanted to kiss me? Actually?”

“Should we really talk about this? After what we just said about staying friends?”

“We’re going to feel regret tomorrow morning no matter what we do now, “ said Y/N. “Might as well.”

He smiled one of his rare smiles--the ones where his eyes went all soft and he dipped his head to hide it. “Yes. I really do. Want to kiss you, that is.”

“I really want you to kiss me,” she blurted out before slapping her hand over her mouth in shock. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.” 

His smile morphed into more of a smirk as he crept closer, his hand resting on top of her knee. “So can I do it again?”

“Draco…” She sighed.

“The damage is already done,” he repeated as he reached his hand up to brush a lock of her hair behind her ear, his fingers dragging down her neck. The smug look that formed on his face after she drew a quick breath in confirmed that he knew what he was doing, that fucker. “You said it yourself--we’re just friends.”

“I’m going to hate myself in the morning if I say yes.”

 Draco’s hand drifted over her jaw, his thumb pausing to trace over her bottom lip. “You can hate me instead.” 

This time, it didn’t surprise her so much when he leaned in. He was notably less desperate, taking time to draw breaths in between kisses and lacing his fingers through hers, squeezing. Once he seemed satisfied, he lifted her chin and brushed the hair away from her neck, kissing down from her jaw to her collarbone. She shivered, and he drew her closer by wrapping his arms around her until she was sitting on his lap.

“Wow, you’re such a good friend, Draco,” she managed to joke. She could feel the smirk that formed on his lips as it passed over her clavicle.

 “Shut up.” His teeth grazed over her delicate skin before he sucked, eliciting a gasp from her. She could feel him smile again. 

His hands teased the bottom hemline of her sweater, his fingers tangling in the fabric but not moving it. She sucked in a breath, feeling his hands ghost over her skin. 

“Are you okay with…”

“Yes!” The answer came out much quicker than she would’ve liked, but the grin on Draco’s face made it completely worth the momentary embarrassment as he helped her out of the thick cable-knit sweater. “Now is your chance to dote on me and tell me how beautiful I am. As a friend, of course.”

“You stole the words right out of my mouth,” he said. He looked like he was positively glowing as she smiled and leaned in to kiss him, slow and deep. His hands found her back and hesitated over her bra clasp.

Before he had a chance to do anything, Y/N started fiddling with the buttons on his white shirt, successfully undoing the first two before she noticed that Draco had frozen completely.

“Is something wrong?”

“Kind of,” he said. “Maybe...not now, okay?”

“I had a feeling that was too much,” she admitted, reaching for her top before realizing he’d tossed it across her bedroom floor and suddenly feeling very exposed.

“It’s not that…” he said, trailing off. “I just...should probably tell you some things before my shirt comes off. And I don’t think tonight is the best time for that.”

“Oh.” Y/N tried to make herself look like she understood whatever he was on about. “Yeah, of course. Oh! Is it about that tattoo you tried to gaslight me into believing didn’t exist?”

“Y/N!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t gaslight you!”

“Here you go again,” she huffed. “I rest my case.” 

“And I am not getting into that now,” he said. “I didn’t want to talk about it for very good reason.” 

She reached up to his shoulders, dragging her fingertips over his collarbones and watching as he gazed up at her. “That’s okay. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

The corners of his lips turned up at this, and she took the opportunity to press a chaste kiss on the edge of his mouth. “I think we should go to sleep. We have enough material to regret for tomorrow at this point. Any more and I think we’ll be getting greedy, so--”

Draco cut her off with one last kiss, his fingers splayed out across her back, pulling her impossibly close before finally releasing her.

“Agreed.” He let out a sigh before sliding her off him and standing up to grab her runaway sweater. “Do you want to sleep in this? Or do you want me to get you something else from your dresser while I’m up?”

“Um…” She was frozen at the prospect of him watching her change clothes. “Probably something else. Top left drawer--just pick whatever.”

He sifted through her piles of random T-shirts before settling on one with the UChicago logo and tossing it to her. 

Y/N pulled it over her head, grateful for the fact that he wasn’t staring at her with only a black lace bra that barely did its job. 

“So, uh, I think I should probably go then,” he said. 

She fought the urge to ask him to stay. “Yeah, that’d be best.”

His mouth opened like he was about to say something, but he closed it and frowned. “So I guess this is goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Draco,” she replied. “I’ll look forward to agonizing over this in the morning.”

Once the sounds of his footsteps heading down the hall faded, she finally allowed herself to flop back onto her now Draco-scented sheets.

What the fuck just happened.

final a/n: hellooooooo ! it finally happened! i hope this didn’t seem rushed or unnatural to you guys but like. it’s been over 30k words and i thought you guys deserved something. yes i am going to be leaning into the whole “we’re just friends” trope while definitely not being just friends. yes i am going to drag astoria into this i’m excited i hope yall enjoyed