#and i am short but i guess im just literally built like that ���

[faerociousbeast]

confidence boost! came at a confidence loss of others tho. easily picked up various family members but my dad and uncle couldnt do it as easily

[orchidyoonkook]

I adore your stories. I literally keep going back to them, they're that good! You're easily one of my favorite fic writers on Tumblr.

I was wondering if I could ask for some writing advice?

I used to write fics, and I have a ton of ideas that I'm wanting to write out. I'm even wanting to pick up and re-write an old fic. My issue is I have no clue where to start again.

How do you get motivated to write?

And do you ever look at your work and feel blah about it, like it doesn't seem to be good to you?

I am so happy this ask caught me on a catch up day. I've literally spent all day catching up on missed asks I can asnwer and reviews and messages. It's honestly like a little reward and for that I wanna say such a big thank you.

Onto!:

(note from future yoon: omg this is so long im so sorry)

I adore your stories. I literally keep going back to them, they're that good! You're easily one of my favorite fic writers on Tumblr.

Well I guess I'm starting this off in tears?? This is the sweetest thing literally ever and I cannot thank you enough for giving my stories a chance. I'm sure you know as a writer yourself but this is the most any writer could ask for in terms of feedback and I literally just wanna hug you.

Thank you so much for reading.

And the fact that I'm one of literally anyone's favourite fic writers is actually insane. Take that highschool english teacher! But in all seriousness I will actually cry this is so kind thank you thank you thank you. 😭😭😭♥♥♥♥♥

I was wondering if I could ask for some writing advice?

Absolutely, always. But idk how good it'll be XD

I used to write fics, and I have a ton of ideas that I'm wanting to write out. I'm even wanting to pick up and re-write an old fic. My issue is I have no clue where to start again.

literal story of my life my god how i relate to this.

How do you get motivated to write?

I don't. That's the thing. When I'm motivated it's like a fluke. (jsyk this is gunna be long because I cant shut up)

TWWWBAATTA was a complete and total fluke. I'd had a dream, it was the first act of the story. I loved the idea so much that when I woke up I wrote the spark notes of it in my notes app. And then I sat on it for two weeks. I hadn't written anything in maybe 4 years, let alone fic, let alone a BTS fic. I'd only ever written one thing prior that wasn't for my education so I had no idea what the hell I was going to do.

The idea kept pounding at the door of my brain, begging to be let in and explore every freaking nook and crany it could. So i let it. and after two weeks, I had a very VERY rough plot. I kept the ideas in either my notes app or a google doc, and i just let them flow. Anything and everything. And soon enough TWWWBAATTA was born.

UTWT came from a writing prompts list. I saw a prompt for "First kiss" and then thought "wouldn't it be cool if it was under a willow tree like the one in my hometown?" and literally 2 days later UTWT was written. -> Rainfall Brings Tomorrow came from an ask, it hit me out of freaking nowhere. I just wanted something short and sweet and ask fulfilling and RBT worked perfectly for that.

TDWV was the first thing I actively sat down and told myself to write. Halloween is my favourite holiday, and I wanted to do something for it last year. I'd had the title written down in my idea's note, and built it up from there. I went to pinterest, I looked at old and new "story ideas" on there and on tumblr lists. I essentially just pick and chose pieces of prompts and stuff from my own ideas and built it up from there. I had a general goal: spooky, yoongi, first attempt at writing smut -> because I always put a challenge in the stories for myself, whether that be writing something I never have or exploring a new topic or following specific tropes <- and then I chose a setting. And literally just built up the story as I went.

Most recently with PG, I'd been in such a writing rut, still am. But I wanted to write SOMETHING. and PG -> Pretty Girl was another thing I'd had in my ideas note. So I took that and then decided in order to just write, I'd write something easy and took a lot of my favourite tropes and decided to write off those. In this case it was older brothers best friend, age gap, forbidden love, yearning, possessive male lead, overprotective older brother and head strong female lead. And went wild with it. I didn't know the member I was writing at first, but then when I went to go write the vibe of the male lead, I realised it was Tae.

Once I have a general idea of the overall story I can usually just channel the rest. As in I can just write the story as it plays out. But sometimes it doesnt work like that and I get stuck, like with a Joon fic I've half started. I have the overall vibe, and I can feel what I want to happen, but I'm missing some key points or I can't see them yet so it's still vibing in my drafts.

So you can see I don't really get motivation so more of a it finds me and then I work on it. Sometimes I have to just make it from thin air. The thing that helps me most tho is I have to remember that I enjoy writing. I like doing it. I like telling stories even if no one else will like them. I like experiencing them with the characters, as the characters, as the settings and their props, i enjoy character creation and giving them their quirks and hobbies and backstories. It's not a chore to write their stories, it's a priviledge they chose me to tell it.

It's so hard to explain, but if you're having a tough time with the stories you're wanting to tell, it probably means they need just a touch more shelf time, or at least so is the case for me.

My advice would be to weave a fic into something you love. My female characters are often in the arts because I love art and creating it. I wove PG from tropes I'm a sucker for. I wove UTWT from a single idea and a tree from my hometown I've always adored. Little itty bitty things like this can drive story ideas and motivation because you can always go back and realise why you were writing it in the first place.

One of the most important things for me is to remember that somebody else has already done your idea. But you haven't. It's never been done your way. And idk about you, but I can absolutely say I've never said "Oh no! not ANOTHER forbidden romance fic! there's just too many of them" because there's not. I will happily read the same exact fic with slight variations a hundred times over. And so will other people, so don't worry about it being like others.

Motivation is something people think they need in order to to the big overall arcing task. But you dont. All you have to do is set aside an hour or three (I use 9pm-midnight) for the thing you want to do. If i write or plot or idea come up with for three hours a night, seven days a week, thats 21 hours of writing time. I could get out 2 sentences or 20k words in that time. But all that matters is that I did SOMETHING.

You don't have to do it all in one go. You don't even have to do it over the course of a set period of time. I started TWWWBAATTA in August of 2022 and I only have 8(?) chapters out. I work on it when I can, but I don't push it because writing is meant to be a hobby I enjoy.

As for where to start. Start somewhere new or somewhere familiar. Pick an idea or a previously written scene and write it or update it to match your current writing style. I cannot begin to tell you the amount of times I've picked up and put down a chapter of TWWWBAATTA because it wasn't what I wanted or I hated the direction it was going. But I always came back and either added or edited, and sooner or later an idea would strike or I'd figure it out through the repitition. Having multiple stories to bounce between has also helped me when I'm stuck. I try to keep three on hand, but two works just as well. Just to get a variation. Like I had PG going at the same time as the previously mentioned Joon fic another Yoongi fic on the go. All differernt genres, all wildly different plots and directions, and just being able to go between the three when one wasn't working to give my brain a breather helped a lot.

is that sufficient? I feel like I've just been ranting about my process versus answering the question, but it's through my process that I answer the question, does that make sense? If not, feel free to ask again or more specifically in exactly what you'd like to know, I'm literally always happy to talk anyones ear off.

And do you ever look at your work and feel blah about it, like it doesn't seem to be good to you?

A L W A Y S. alwayssss. All of the goddamn time. But I see it as a good thing because that means I'm improving.

Writing is one of those things that you will never reach the top skill level off because it doesn't exist. You can always get better, be better, write more, write better, write differently. It's a constantly evolving internal staircase that you will never reach the top of. Which is both extremely relieving because that means you can always improve, and yet incredibly frustrating because you will constantly be looking back on previous works like "what the hell was I thinking' because your style has evolved with the progress you've made.

I used to be so goddamn proud of the first chapter of TWWWBAATTA. I loved it. I thought it was the perfect opening chapter to this huge story in my head. It set up everything, I was just really pleased with it and excited to post it. But I reread it a while ago and my literal thoughts were "This, THIS, is what I was so proud of?? It needs literally so much work oh my god"

And then I remember that I wrote that two years ago, I have two years more of experience than I did before I wrote it. So of course it's not going to be as good as I could do now. But it was as good as I could do then. And that's okay. I'm still proud of 2 years ago me, and I'm happy she was really pleased with her work. She was excited and eager and happy to write. That's the feeling I try to chase with writing, not how good the writing is, but the feeling I get when I do it.

okay rant over, thank you for sending this ask in it was so much fun to talk shop!! I barely do it nowadays with new folks and all my friends are probably sick to death of me talking process XD.

I hope your writing goals are met and your ideas flow. But even if they dont, try writing something completely different. Try to describe a colour without using it's name, or a season without using it's key descriptive points. My favourite is taking cliche lines and reworking them into something different and more creative (ex: "My heart was racing" into something like "My heart threatened to break free from it's prison with nothing more than it's quick thundering beats" you get the gist). Or set a goal for yourself. Write four sentences everyday. They could all be one word. They could all be filled with commas and semi colons and take up half the page when your done.

My point, I guess, is to just write. Whether it's good or bad, doesnt matter, you can always fix it later. Editing is the easy part, you just gotta get the ideas down first, and then refine from there.

[uhhhitsme]

i wanna hear your curtwen thoughts & analysis sm so. 14!

OH MY GOFD OH MYHGOD AOHYM MY GOD THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE ONES OH MY YUFOD I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

okay, the crux of this song is quite literally about a very complex, uncertain relationship and wondering if the singer and the lover will be able to work it out. because i am. FUCKING INSANE. im breaking it down verse by verse because EVERY SINGLE LYRIC is SO ACCURATE for them you don't understand straighten your tie / we're not alone / i'll tell a lie, just to bring you home / we dance together / you're not that good / i'll tell a lie, but it's understood

"ill tell a lie, just to bring you home" works SO well for curtwen. their relationship is inherently defined by secrecy and lies. they're literally two gay men who are in love in the 1950s, working for two different governments overseas, with a relationship that's clearly had enough foundation and enough work and love put into it that it affects them four years after their separation. i do really think that they tried their best to love each other as much as they could---so they'd almost certainly skirt around corners and lie to their superiors in order to try and spend as much time together possible.

and then, again "i'll tell a lie, but it's understood" is so important to me---in a1p1, we see that owen and curt know each other. they're familiar to each others mannerisms, when to push JUST enough that it doesn't bother the other, they trust each other to turn their backs on each other and work in sync the moment curt's released from captivity. and again, as two gay men in the 1950s---they've likely both been raised with the idea that vulnerability, emotion, and affection are all very feminine traits, and so definitely would have an incredibly hard time expressing them as a result. they probably could never vocally express really how much they love each other, especially around other people---but that lie, the feigned friendship, the excuses and dismissiveness---they see through it, because at some point they've learned each other so thoroughly they can see the care behind the front they put up.

also, i hc that curt can't dance as well as owen and he regularly coaches him (its mostly an excuse to hold him lmao) so double the perfectness. PLUS, they would both likely get involved in black-tie events regularly for spy reasons and i can definitely picture them getting up to some truly foul tomfoolery that would require the straightening of the tie because they're not alone.

then, for the chorus: i guess it's all about timing / i guess it's all about the things you want but never get / i guess it's all about trying / to love someone you've never met

i really want to highlight the "i guess it's all about trying" because. it IS. they're trying so hard, man---in the staircase scene, agent curt gives us two very very powerful bits of dialogue about the time they spent together, and the feelings they shared. and that kind of love isn't the love i think could be built in a short time or for a casual fling---most fans of saf walk away from watching the show under the assumption that they've been in a relationship for YEARS, and for good reason! like its basically canon at this point, at least within the fandom.

and the thing is, when you consider the factors affecting their relationship---spies from two different countries with an alliance that could easily be shattered under the right circumstances, where they could likely only meet a few times a year at most for missions, not for themselves, who are in love and GAY and work for a deeply homophobic government.............. by all means, it shouldn't have worked out for that long. it should've crumbled. but it DIDN'T. and i genuinely, truly cannot picture the reason why it did being anything other than them caring for each other---loving each other---so much that they tried the best they could.

in the second chorus, the lyric "i guess its all about trying" switches to "i guess it's all about dying," which works just as well---especially if you look at this song from owen's perspective. because spying... it was always going to kill them, one day, if they stayed. it's an inherently dangerous job. and the trauma that they endure working as spies, especially as high ranking spies who probably didn't have access to therapy or support systems due to the nature of it being so classified---i do think that it was killing them, too. and i really do believe that owen, who was so so so passionate about the destruction of secrets in his reveal monologue (and for a plethora of other reasons i could yap about in a different post)---he recognised that it wasn't good for them, near the end. that they needed to go.

but curt was very attached to the job---we see how he romanticises being a spy all throughout the show, how he obsessed over the glory of it all (literally every time he smoothed his hair back, his obsession with doing fun and thrilling things, the whole banter that he initiates with owen about the timer on the bomb.) and i don't think owen had been able to convince him to leave. so instead of going without curt---inadvertently saving himself from the fall and the dangers of their occupation---he stayed. i dont think he could leave without him. he stayed in a job that was KILLING HIM. FOR CURT. JESUS CHRIST.

OKAY ONE MORE VERSE AND I PROMISE ILL FINISH MY YAPFEST:

we eat our dinner, then we undress / and now we're equal, more or less / now i am sick, and you're probably drunk / you're saying things, and they sound like love

god, the undressing line............... it's literal in the sense that they're undressing for bed, but also a metaphor for taking off their emotional layers. showing their vulnerabilities to each other. something that's obviously hard for them as gay male spies who have been taught that vulnerability is a weakness and know not to trust easily. the line about equality...........

i think one thing that both of them were very insecure about, pre-fall, was whether or not the depth of their feelings were truly matched. to owen---curt is a thrill seeker. he dives into danger without a second thought, decides blowing up a building because anything other option is boring, treats them survival on the job as a competition, a game, a challenge to prove themselves. and i do think that there would've been that fear, for him, that owen to curt was just another one of those things---a challenge. not a lover. not someone to care for. after all, curt wouldn't leave---he loves his job so much he wouldn't do it for owen. when owen knows that this job is hurting him, but he stays---for curt. there's uncertainty there, about whether or not they've been equally vulnerable, if owen knows him as well that curt knows him. and those doubts definitely fed into owen's mindset post fall.

and the bit about drunk / love... in order to keep this from being any longer than it needs to be---most people agree that pre-fall curt had a drinking problem that was significantly worsened by owen's death, so it works really well for him. and "sounding like love" would imply it isn't love---just seems like it. and like i yapped about in the last paragraph, i do think that insecurity and anxiety they both had about their love being unmatched is referenced here again. owen is wondering if curt really loves him like owen does, or if he's just drunk and saying stupid things. he's afraid. they both are.

i.... this is a monstrosity. holy shit.

[fictionfixations]

doing yunli's story quest

i think it has a different name but tbh genshin was like my first actual gacha game i was really committed to so expect me to refer to things in genshin terms unless i can remember the equivalent in the game im playing.

lmao

OHHH cause we never got to know what the sword looked like

..huh.

argenti i love you but why are you literally everywhere

actually this is probably why he appears in the wardance event

??? when she said hanguang (earlier, screenshot underneath this screenshot) i had a hunch that it mightve been her father with the way she reacted.

it probably is a cursed sword though. i know shes making a scene but who cares if its a threat to someone's safety? theres this like side quest that happens after wardance where we say goodbye to everyone returning to their own xianzhou ships (fu xuan also returns) and yunli and yanqing talked about the sword a bit and she didnt seem to have anything against it so i guess it gets solved in this

holy fucking shit you can hear swords slashing and screaming in the background

whats the blade of forged remnants? OH ITS HER SWORD old mettle

why am i struggling so hard im

NOOOOOOO. you do not understand my absolute HATRED for fights against argenti or yanqing. (well i hate sunday's too but hes just a weekly boss. argenti and yanqing can be pulled out whenever) its the having multiple smaller enemies... aAaaaaaa

my team is getting their ass beat i cant

tingyun is so fucking squishy she and robin keep dying after each other😭

i dont have a team that can win this om. the ONLY character i have built that he has weakness against is ROBIN. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i dont have herta built. i despise his shields with a passion. i cant do enough damage 😭

i cant continue the story D:

in all fairness i was also stuck on sundays boss battle for a lONG time (only managed because every single turn i had lynx heal to build up her ult as fast as possible. but im doing that method right now and its still not working 😭. i also had to switch in dr ratio for more imaginary weakness but i cant do that here cause they arent buILT.)

it also wouldnt matter if the character was built or not with aventurine cause they wouldnt immediately die at least but i dont have him hHHHH

...wwwhy did you target my only damage dealers wtf man. itd be a different story if he was really close to dying but hes NOT imfioahdwsauiodj

OH MY GOD I FORGOT THIS WAS A THING. i kept quitting before i could hit the defeat screen

i forgot to mention it but argenti is like being possessed by the heliobus in the cursed sword

his voice sounds oddly familiar. i wanna say it sounds like ben (moze's and kaveh's va) but it also feels like its not his voice theres just a quality of it that reminds me of ben's? i might be completely wrong

ohh

oh thats fair

i see

this felt. really short tbh. its been like what? an hour at least?

oh...

thats sweet

[chaosandthe-deadblog]

you know i wasn't going to do this, but fuck it, you guys deserve to know

this year was a rollercoaster for me. i used to think it would be a bad one, but i can tell now how important this all was. (warning: sappy stuff under the cut)

something happened to me earlier this year, something that made me lose a part of who I was. i had defined myself by the "light" or someone else, and when i lost them i was left in the dark with very little direction on what to do with myself. it was bad. i felt blind. i felt like i would never recover. i felt like i was blinded by an artificial light pretending to be the sun. poetic, i know, but i felt completely and utterly lost

a lot has changed since then.

i guess that event pushed me to a lot of things. i started seeing my friends more out of a desire to not be alone, i got a discord account to talk to a friend more... and that led me to find a server that i love with my entire heart. to the people of the Sonic Library, you changed my life, you quite literally helped me more than you know this year. love is the point of it all.

because if there was something that i had to figure out this year is who i am. who i am when i'm not clinging to someone else, who i am when i'm alone and free to be myself. who i am, down to the very foundation. because i'd forgotten, because i needed to remember and redefine who i was.

i didn't change my name for nothing.

it was my first attempt at separating myself from an identity i had built around a light that went out, it was my way of setting free and deciding that i was fine on my own. my own light, if you will.

im not totally done, im still young, im still seventeen going on eighteen this year and defining who i am. but im closer than ever.

i am an artist, and that's just part of it. i am a writer, i discovered that recently. i am a friend who gives more than he needs to. i am a fan of sonic, that might seem silly, but its more important to me than you could imagine. i am passionate to a dangerous degree. i am finally surrounded by people who love me. i am the sun that burns when angry and warms your skin when it's cold, i'm the sun that comes up in the morning despite how long and how dark the night is, the sun that keeps shining, the sun that is bright and loud and doesnt apologize for taking up space. and this one will sound silly, but i am all of me.

i'm solsticio, sol for short. and i can finally say that with confidence.

[hellfiremunsonn]

(im in my mid twenties but this is a little tmi and embarrassing so I dont want it linked to my account)

So. I have slightly uneven boobs, no big deal some people do. I've always been slightly insecure and a guy once said "its just a handful but thats ok" and then next sentence make comments about how they aren't even and how I must pad my bra (bro hadn't even taken my bra off and I was like ok we're done).

My best friend got her nipples pierced and I told her I dont think I could because my nippers aren't pronounced all the time like hers. I showed her snd she only said "oh weird I thought everyone had nips like mine". We went on no big deal. I have thought about it since, cause I never thought someone's nipples were out when not hard? And like her nips weren't hard they became more pronounced after they were hard if that makes sense?? I was just like yeah I doubt I could get those piercings and moved on but I realized ok we dont all have the same nipples (I never really thought about it before)

Started kissing a guy recently. We hadn't really gotten into it, but he moved my top (i had on one of those tops with a bra built in cause if I can avoid a bra I will). He stopped and then legit made fun of my boobs. Because my nipples were flat? Like imagine a barbie, just round chest area no nipple. It isnt inverted you can see it. Its just...flat? If im cold or aroused my nip gets hard? Which is normal?? But i guess I am not normal?? Anyways this guy said a ton of shit, even offering to get me a boob job and a bbl?

Anyways this guy really fucked with my confidence and I was just like ok I either need to know if this is normal or not. My chest.. Or like, do all guys act like this cause the only other time a guy has seen me without a top we were definitely aroused and no comments were made. Like, I feel like a guy making fun of the person he's about to hook up with is in bad taste. I feel most guys wouldn't, at least the fictional characters I like wouldn't, but is this like a normal thing guys do or is he just a dick cause this is the second guy who has made comments so

Okay first of all men literally ain’t shit.

I know your friend didn’t mean any harm by those comments she made but that’s still a bummy thing to hear.

I HAVE UNEVEN BOOBS

And my nipples are never out unless I’m cold. They don’t get hard when I’m aroused either so they’re usually just like in that “soft puffy” state.

No two boobs are 100% symmetrical unless they’re “fake” I’m pretty sure so having uneven boobs is soooo normal I promise.

My left boob has always been bigger than my right. When I gained a bunch of weight it was still noticeable, and even now that I’ve lost all the weight cause of my meds, my boobs are still uneven!

They’re also no longer firm or perky because of this so thems bitches are a little saggy, and honestly I’ve never had someone say such off handed comments about them. My nipples literally basically point downward to the floor.

I have a short torso and a big ribcage so although my boobs are DD’s they look 10x bigger because I don’t have enough chest/torso space to even it out so they look extra massive and I hate it! It doesn’t help that I’m short either so I’m just this small bitch with big titties and I’m like pls I just wanted like a full B cup. BUT I WORK WITH WHAT I GOT.

Some people have two different sized boobs and one will be an entire cup size different!

AND A HANDFUL OF TIT IS STILL TIT SO THE MEN YOURE HANGING OUT WITH ARE JUST FUCKING TRASH.

(Like if u have a nipple, I’m putting it in my mouth I don’t care what size titties u got)

I’m pretty insecure about my boobs as well! But the way I’ve had sexual partners react to them has definitely helped because most men don’t care.

Idk where I intended on going with all of this but basically long story short, is that you don’t have to be insecure about them! Or feel SO insecure about them? We all have insecurities and stuff we don’t love about ourselves but everything about us makes us exactly that. US.

I’m sorry you’ve had people make comments like that, that’s a shitty thing to hear.

Here’s a picture of me where you can see the size difference to hopefully make u feel a little bit better.

I GOT SAGGY TITTIES AND A FLAT ASS BUT IM STILL OUT HERE GETTING BITCHES

(I yell into the void as if I’m actually getting bitches)

[axellis-archv-2]

under the cut my o.verwatch rambling bc i hate this game and its lore is not making sense to me all bcthey genuinely refuse to give an actual timeframe of the crisis and its ruining everything

look at that wiki trivia page and tell me that isnt promising.

ok sorry. anyway according to this wiki && whatnot the o.mnic crisis takes place like 20-30 years ago . yes we get 10 years of "ish". (or more if youre r.einhardt!!!) This is awful because when it comes to o.mnics in general the ages they put are very...CONFUSING to say the least.

b.astion, who is continuously remarked as one of the oldest units ever used in the o.mnic crisis is listed as 30 . 😐���😐

z.enyatta, who has remarked in actual literal voicelines of "remembering his life before the crisis", is 20 😐😐😐😐

...but m.ercy & b.aptiste, both orphaned from the crisis, are 36 & 37 respectively

o.risa, a refurbished or-15 who was built and created specifically to counteract d.oomfist is 1 month

i guess i should also mention r.amattra since hes the only other o.mnic character we even have (in game physically) and he gets put at a vague 20-30

fyi e.cho isnt an o.mnic shes an ai but also her age is "classified"

so from what im cracking from o.risa specifically you would imagine that o.mnics would start counting birthdays for when they awakened rather than when they were created . this makes sense i feel given that this is when they have an actual consciousness. but this would make b.astion younger (b.astion having awakened years after the crisis. long enough where grass high enough to cover at least half his body, was covering a bunch of his own fellow dead Siege Automaton E54 units) (z.enyatta could be also argued to be older too if the crisis is more in the 30yr range)

so. ok. maybe im just having a time and the o.mnic crisis happened 20-30 years ago && only lasted a year or so...and yet somehow was responsible for building the entire organization of o.verwatch bc of how big & scary this crisis was. and this was built long enough that people would be called to join in on this?

is it just a me thing am i just being fucking cazy . maybe the united nations actually did team up together made something in the span of a less than a year and then stopped the war. but anyway check out this forum post abt age critiques that i was seeing that opened up a giant wormhole bc DID THEY ACTUALLY MAKE K.IRIKO LIKE 7 IN HER ORIGIN SHORT WHEN SHES SUPPOSED TO HAVE GROWN UP W THE S.HIMADAS...

[furiousofpanda]

SORRY FOR ANY ERRORS OR ANYTHING ITS 12 AM AND IM TIRED AS SHIT BUT I STILL PULLED THIS OUT MY ASS

Short story between Wake (POV) and Grym (wip character who I haven't drawn yet)

Let's be real here, most characters I'm about to mention are concepts in my head I have yet to draw out even though I already have whole lore and even voice claims for them.

I'll give an introduction of Grym and the place it take place in after this story.

_____________________________

"I'd like to meet you some day," You said, laying on the dark void of a barrier that separates you from the only one you can consider a friend and looking into the dangling static sky of clockwork mirrors and your island.

"I'd ..ike .o .oo" the muffled voice came through. You haven't had company like this in a long while, and even though the voice was hard to hear, it was better then the gutting silence in. Plus, guessing from your previous conversations Grym is just looking to get away from Jitter, Haddock and Xate for as much as he can.

"Ho.. wha.ev.r ..u do going fo. ..u?" He cuts through your pandering thoughts or well, his awkward silence.

"Whatever I do is crumbs if I know, it's not like I came with a job description." Wake said with a lighthearted sarcasm. "It's just the usual."

There was a long pause

"Pardon?" Grym says, you can probably guess that he's yelling on the other side.

"ITS GOING GOOD!" you yell, Grym matches your energy with a responded loud and clear "yay!"

You both continue chattering loudly until Grym gets called by a deep bellowing rumble of a voice of who you assume is Haddock, where Grym and you yell loud goodbyes through the void built.

You sit up, the mirrors don't seem to be following a pattern but slowly move down in their own rhythm to near where you now have sat up, usually some mutiverses would crack or shatter under the pressure of the void's hands pulling the mirrors through, making a loud crash or crunch, but you found an area that had multiverses with lots of success signs which leads to opportunities like this where you can talk to Grym and learn about him and what's beyond your prison. You sometimes wonder if your really bound here, but since your memory problems started occuring, you can't remember how to enter worlds. So yo do what you do best, and push yourself off the void, twisting and turning shape gracefully in a zero gravity space, collecting back together to speculate a doomed multiverse that caught your eye. Not doomed due to an anomaly as as small bit of you hoped but just something normal to watch, something you can't interfere with even if you tried.

________________________

Okay you may be asking

"What the fuck did I just read??"

Let me explain a good chunk of it so that if I make more but longer stories like this that are better written you'll at least get it.

In my cannon there is a space outside of universes and multiverses only accessible to the incomprehensible or likewise. There are no gods, no demons or angels, but something thats just all of it combined. Its more like eldritch beings and the slightly anonymous being cryptids to an extent.

Nonetheless there are rankings based on these factors

1. Type (what job do you do?)

2. Incomprehensibility

The higher up the rankings the more dangerous they are to know about, definitely a cognitive hazard for those who aren't eldritch-sorts themselves.

I'm not going to go all over them but simply the relevant ones at the moment, otherwise we'll be here literally all week

Rank doesn't determine personality, status, or form, there may be minor identifying things but typically any of these can appear as any shape or form. Lower ranks usually can't change their appearance while higher ranks change too much and/or to some capacity cannot simply be observed even by an eye of a "god"

Each area is formed for the purpose and personality of the rank that belongs there. Most Ranks such as Watchers, Caretakers, Pawns and Jury stand alone, locked in their own Zones, while all other ranks share their zones, Ranks who stand alone usually are introverted to some extent or are horrible with communication, but have jobs at sorting the multiverses that exist from the ones that are being worked on and are maybe hue successes, sorting out dead and forgotten worlds, ones forgotten by the creator and community.

Rank 0 - Oracle

Harmless to the mind, these beings are gifted individuals who have abandoned their old lives to live solitude outside the fabric of the multiverse. They are the only ones any class is able to visit, as they are able to observe any level without effects and see (or sometimes send) individuals into the past or future of specific multiverses/timelines. When they do send them back it's more like a memory, as the individual sent back is a ghost, unable to be heared or unable to touch anything in the past or future (to prevent timeline issues).

Oracle grounds are usually underneath the Guardians (Rank 20) that are separating the creators of the worlds and are typically seen as a the first line of passive defense. Don't think these dainty creatures are passive, theyvan see straight through you, knowing your intentions. If you plan on passing through the gate, they will put you unconscious even if a creature is unable to go unconscious and send them back to the multiverse they originate from or belong, which if it's another lower than guardian rank trying to trespass, will get the same treatment, sent back to their zone.

I'll explain 1 -3 later, they are still in development conceptually

Rank 4 - Watcher

Watchers are like physical moderators who catch and delete harmful anomalies, particularly ones that harm other multiverses, as in-multiverse anomalies are completely fine as long as they don't hop multiverses at a time and start breaking Multiverses down. Thus with such an important task, Watchers are usually able to take on any sort of form, but they must play by the universes rules that they have entered unless they have located and are fighting off the anomaly. This is more of a forced thing as all watchers are physically unable to use anything out of the ordinary depending on the ordinary of that world, unless they have located the anomaly, then these restraints are suddenly lifted. Location is knowledge of where (and/or when if time travel is involved), maybe not pinpoint but if they have a faint idea, it unlocks that multiverse lock temporarily. Once the anomaly is deleted or patched, the being is summoned back to their post.

Wake is a Watcher, but most watchers nowadays use their abilities to hive-mind duplicate themselves to watch while doing other things or be to places at once, wanting a more Mortal-inspired lifestyle.

Rank 5 - Weavers

Weavers and Puzzleworkers (rank 6) work together, even though most Puzzleworkers are invisible to the Weavers the work in the same area

Once a multiverse passes the test of time, the are sorted by if the multiverses have been unscathed or if they are cracked. Cracked means it still can shatter but it also has the potential to fix itself. Unscathed ones are put in picture frames hung by the same goop that the test of time was made of, the reason Weavers are nicknamed Weavers is because the make sure the goop doesn't run thin, making sure good universes don't fall and get forgotten. Of course some fall here and there unnoticed but Weavers tend to the top while puzzleworkers handle the bottom.

Grym is a Plage-doctor-esk faced character that harbors a not so fandy outfit with a cloak on top that have gold buttons down the middle. The outfit itself is stained black with the void's color other than Grym's body himself. He has legs sometimes but seems to prefer moving around with an octopus like lover body.

His voice claims is "Let time pass through" or whatever that song was that sounded like Kermit was singing it, yeah his vc is fuckin Kermit and I love Grym as a concept sm

Rank 6 - Puzzleworkers

Not going to completely cover this cause I'm getting tired of writing this and I'd have to explain the few I skipped over to have this one be fully understood, as Puzzleworkers are essentially like beings that have a body but it cannot be processed by the brain or even if without a brain, the aren't ment to be seen, so the look invisible or like a silhouette if anything. They're jobs are to pick up the broken pieces of the multiverses that have shattered and either attempt to piece it together to a whole or if there is too many missing pieces, melt it down into something new, where the concepts are sent back to creators in hope that eventually the aspects of the broken worlds gets used in some way.

That's it I'm tired, but feel free to ask questions cause I'm nowhere near done

Idk if y'all are even interested in my oc sheit so oop

[homo-phoneic]

Things me and my friends said except I turn them Into bmc incorrect quotes

Also warning for lots of NSFW jokes LMAO

Also tw for a brief mention of suicide

**doing math homework**

SQUIP: okay it's 584

Jeremy, who's LED lights on there laptop's keyboard went out so they can't see any of the keys: **clicks 3**

SQUIP: ...that's a fucking 3-

Jeremy: **SOB** I KNOW-

--------------

Jeremy: HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME I COULD TOTALLY BEAT MICHAEL IN A TICKLE FIGHT I KNOW IM NOT TICKLISH AND HE DOESNT KNOW IF HES TICKLISH OR NOT I WOULD SO WIN!

Christine: AHAHSHDJJFFH-

Jeremy: I HAVE A CHANCE! HE DOESNT! PLUS HES SHORT!

Christine: short people can hide easier so they can jump out and attack >:)

Jeremy: I'm a raccoon! Even if I'm tall I can also jump out and attack!

--------------

Michael: Jeremy I am extremely bored again

Jeremy: same :(

Michael: I looped my favorite song for so long my brain reprogrammed itself to tune it out so now I can't even distract myself with that anymore!

Jeremy: Lmao loser

Jeremy:... /j

Jeremy: please don't hang up

--------------

Rich: you're a bitch and tall /neg

--------------

Jeremy: why are your cats getting more bitches than I am??

Michael: hey they're also getting more bitches than I am

Jeremy: i can fix that **lipbites** /j

Michael: LMAOOO-

Jeremy: /hj

Michael: WAIT-

--------------

Michael: I'm watching porn with Jeremy 🙏

Christine: WHAT.

YOURE WHAT NOW?

IM SORRY???

HUH??????

MICHAEL?!??!?

YOU WANNA EXPLAIN YOURSELF?????

HEY????

Michael, only messaging back like the next day: we were doing it as a joke, no homo

--------------

Jeremy: what do I say to make the AI fuck me

Michael: YOU THINK IM GOOD AT THAT??

Jeremy: I DONT KNOW YOUVE SEXTED ME BEFORE-

Michael: YEAH BUT I WAS PANICKING ALRIGHT-

Jeremy: SO WAS I! YOU KEPT ASKING ME WHAT I WANTED AND I WAS LIKE IDFK UR THE TOP ARENT YOU SUPPOSED TO DECIDE??

Michael: HAHSHDHF DUDE I HAD NO CLUE WHAT I WAS DOING I WAS JUST LYING IN BED AND LIKE- "oo Jeremy texted m- oh."

Jeremy: AHAHSHHDBG

--------------

Jeremy: Michael I'm having a panic attack rn do you mind not taking about sexy Jeff Bezos

Michael: No no okay but hear me out-

Jeremy: IM NOT HEARING YOU OUT-

--------------

Jeremy: sobbing rn

I'm just so quirky and built different my eyes can't handle it

Michael: WHAT HAPPENED??

Jeremy: I LITERALLY HAVE NO CLUE

MY BRAIN JUST DECIDED TO WITHHOLD THE SEROTONIN TODAY

I LOST MY SEROTONIN PRIVILEGES

--------------

Jeremy: I love youu

Michael: please don't kill yourself

Jeremy: what

Michael: the last time you showed any amount of affection to me without prompt you tried to perish

Jeremy: FUCK OFF LET ME BE NICE-

--------------

Michael:

HELP

ME

PLEASE

JEREMY

I BEG YOU

Jeremy: oh fuck what happened

Michael: RICH WONT STOP PLAYING THE FUCKING KAZOO

--------------

Michael: christineeee wake upppp

Christine: yeahhhh?

Michael: Jeremy's being manipulated againnnn

Christine: AGAIN?

Michael: AGAIN.

--------------

Rich: but why is it all like diagonal and shit?

Jeremy: why did my mother leave me at age six?

Rich: I.... slay I guess??

--------------

Jeremy: wait but rich isn't allowed to do that

Michael: oh no what will rich, the person we all know definitely follows all laws and rules do? How will he proceed?

--------------

Jake: isn't that the national animal

Rich: I thought that was Jeremy

Michael: no he's the national furry!

Rich: ohhh right!

--------------

Jeremy: :(

Michael: don't you dare.

Jeremy: D:

Michael: oh come on you know I can't take it when you send me sad emoticons like that

Jeremy: :[

--------------

Michael: I'm eating blue cheese out of a bowl how does this make you feel

Jeremy: ENJOY YOURE FUCKING M O L D

Michael: I am this is amazing mold

Jeremy: shudders

Michael: lovely mold 10/10

--------------

Jeremy: dude im so bored

Christine: hi so bored I'm Christine

Jeremy: well now I'm just bored and suicidal

--------------

Jeremy: i miss Michael i want Michael to come back I wanna put him in my pocket

Rich: Michael's gonna come back

Jeremy: i miss him

Brooke: we know.

----------

I'll probably do more of these later but I am so tired and I'm gonna go sleep now

[luckyqueenreign]

Omg im the one that submitted the Gabrielle theory!! Please do use it!! I just finished you first impression and loved it!!

Two fics in one day... who am I?

I loved your Gabrielle theory and wanted to explore a possible storyline through that.

I even tried to make Gabrielle a little bit redeeming lol..She was just trying to look out for MC! Hope I did you proud :)

@fujiihime @tjsmommy719 @squishy-noodles @kunepie

---- 

THREE’S A CROWD - SURESH / GABRIELLE POV 

Suresh looked down at his watch, Gemma’s going to kill me. It had been the third time this week, he’d promise her that he wouldn’t work late but he was now two hours late to their dinner plans. His office was currently going through a massive re-structuring, and they were short staffed, his boss was asking for an “all hands-on deck approach” from all the senior and mid-level staff. He couldn’t say no when he was on the fast track to partner. He thought he had come up with a great solution to their temporary problem weeks ago, he asked Gemma to move in with him. His apartment was nicer than hers, it was bigger, it was on a better part of town. She basically lived there as it was, it just made sense. 

But Gemma said no, multiple times. She said she had a “rule” about not living with someone before she was engaged to them. They’d been together for over a year now and he could see himself proposing to her. He was going to propose to her. She was his dream girl after all. He just needed to get over this hump at work and then he would propose. They could have the big wedding she’d always dreamed of. His family wasn’t super traditional, but he imagined they’d want to keep some of his Sri Lankan traditions for the wedding. 

He turned his key into Gemma’s knob and turned it to open the door. The apartment was pitch black. 

“G?” 

Down the hall he could hear faint whispers from what seemed to be a conversation and he could see the glow coming from underneath Gemma’s bedroom door. 

Why is her door closed. She never closes her door. 

“Gemma?” 

With that she stopped talking and she rushed whoever was on the other line off the phone. She rushed out of her room, flustered. 

“Hey babe!” 

She ran over to give him a kiss. 

No argument? No snide remark about being late? 

“I’m sorry I’m late, work ran over again.” 

“It’s ok, should we go out, order in? I guess I could also whip up something quickly too. Not sure what you’re in the mood for –“ 

“Gemma who was the on the phone?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Just now when I got home you were on the phone. Who were you on the phone with?” 

“Hmm... I could do with a Chinese...” 

“Gemma!” 

“Oh sorry! I was uh just oh on with Chloe.” 

“Since when do you stutter just to say you were on with Chloe?” 

“I didn’t stutter…oh my god Suresh what’s with the grilling? If you’re stressed from work keep it there, please. Don’t bring it home to me. I’ve not done anything to you. I was just trying to sort your dinner and you’ve come home with all this weird aggressive energy.”

“Well, this isn’t my home now is it, Gemma!” 

“Nope, not this again. We are not having this argument right now. Literally what’s wrong with you?” 

“What’s wrong with me?! You’re over here having secret conversations; you refuse to move in with me and you’re acting like there’s something wrong with me?” 

“We’re not doing this right now. Just go to your apartment Suresh. We’ll speak in the morning.” 

With this he turns around and storms off leaving Gemma’s apartment. 

--- 

Suresh drives aimlessly towards his apartment, but he realizes he doesn’t want to go home. He starts driving towards The Social. It’s his favorite bar, it’s close to his office and his apartment. He decides to leave his car near his apartment. The amount of drinking he’ll be doing tonight he shouldn’t get behind the wheel of a car. 

Suresh receives his usual raised eyebrow and come-hither stares from women that he’s become accustomed to it over the years. After over a year of successfully ignoring those types of looks from women he feels like he’s built a special Gemma armor around him. Mostly impenetrable to women. 

“Reshyyy!!!” Gabrielle squealed from the other side of the bar, she couldn’t contain her excitement and ran over to hug him. “I haven’t seen you in like a week where have you been?”

“Work has been an absolute mad house. I need lots and lots of tequila tonight.” 

“Your wish is my command!” 

Gabrielle smiled mischievously as she dropped two tequila shots in front of Suresh. She pressed her breasts together and leaned forward to him. 

“Let’s see if this big boy can handle these tiny tequila shots.” 

Suresh took down the two shots with ease. 

“Just leave the bottle.” Suresh continued to drink shot after shot for the next hour or so.

“Babes, we’re actually closing down in 15 minutes.” 

Suresh was drunk. Very drunk. He was slurring his words. He got up and the room started to spin but he got his bearings. 

“Nooo. But weee we’reere just starrrrting to have fuun.” 

Gabrielle walked over to him and held his shoulder. 

“Suresh are you ok,” Gabrielle said as she looked at him with a flirtatious smile. 

“Of course, I am G,” with that Suresh grabbed Gabrielle into a sloppy drunken kiss. For Gabrielle this was months in the making. She’d dreamed of what kissing Suresh would feel like, and what being with him would be like. She didn’t know much about him but she hoped this kiss was the start of something more. 

“Do you want to go back to my place, or should we go to yours?” Gabrielle asked expectantly. 

Suresh looked at her confused. “I don know where I live.” He started to laugh.

Gabrielle laughed with him. “Alright we can head to my place then, I can drive.”

Suresh snored in the passenger seat as Gabrielle drove them to her apartment. OMG I can’t believe this is happening. He’s so gorgeous. 

When they arrive at her place Suresh is still very inebriated. He's swaying as he walks down her hallway. She leads him to her bedroom, and they start to kiss. Their kiss starts slow and sensual, and she starts to kiss his neck as she starts to move down to his chest he says. “Gemma, I love you so much just move in with me.” 

Gabrielle stops kissing him. 

“Suresh, what did you say”

“Gemma, I love you.” 

With that he turns over and begins to snore. 

How could she be so stupid. Of course, he has a girlfriend. Gemma. 

He’s made a fool of me for MONTHS. Flirting with me. Gassing me up. Making it seem like he wanted anything with me. He clearly just did that for attention. I’ll give him attention. How could he cheat on his girlfriend? And I know he's not the type of guy to ever own up to his mistakes. Maybe I should help her find something in his phone that will make her see what a shitty, two-timing boyfriend she has.

Gabrielle looked around for Suresh’s phone, once she spotted it, she got to work. She removed his shirt and his pants. She left his underwear on but inched it down. She put on her red lacy lingerie set and took out his phone and posed. When she finally had the picture, she liked she saved it to his camera roll. 

---

Suresh woke up in a panic. This wasn’t his apartment. This wasn’t Gemma’s apartment. He wasn’t wearing clothes. Who was next to him?? He tried to move but his head felt like he had been buried under a ton of bricks. He had to get the hell out of here. He didn’t remember having sex. He didn’t remember much of anything. Gemma’s apartment. Car. THE SOCIAL. He finally inched his head over and he could see her red hair, her tattoos. What did you do Suresh? 

Suresh tried to silently get up and get his things. Everything was everywhere and his pounding headache made it so much harder to pick everything up. When he finally finished getting dressed, he heard Gabrielle stir.

“Good morning, babe,” she said. 

“Hey Gab. Listen nothing happened between last night, right? 

She started to giggle, “Well I wouldn’t call that nothing,” she said as she pointed to Suresh’s member. “I had a lot of fun last night. Maybe we can do it again soon” 

“G, you’re a great girl but I can’t. I’m sorry. I have to go.” 

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

You have to tell Gemma. There’s no way out of this you have to tell Gemma. But what do I tell Gemma? What the hell even happened?

Suresh takes an Uber home to wash the smell of tequila and regret off him. He gets dressed and starts to make his way over to Gemma’s apartment. But it’s empty. He calls her. 

“Hello Suresh.” She answers icily on the other line. 

“Babe where are you?” 

“I’m out.” 

“I’m at your apartment, I wanted to see you. Will you be home soon?” 

“No.” 

“G come on. Where are you?” 

With that he heard the key in the lock, and he turned around to find her standing at the doorway. She had a few bags from the market in her hands. 

“Well, are you going to help me then or just stare,” she said as she smirked at him and handed him some bags.

“Should we go out today, I ran all of the errands I needed to run yesterday and this morning,” she said as she put away the groceries. Completely unaware of the absolutely horrific thing Suresh did last night. 

“Resh?” 

“Huh? Oh yeah, let’s go out.” 

She looked at him sideways, “Are you ok?” As she got closer to him, she knew something was up. “You got drunk last night, didn’t you? Oh, and I can see it’s a bad hangover too.” She said laughing. “OK, new plan. We’re ordering really greasy burgers. I’m going to the shops for beers, you need a hair of the dog. Grab some painkillers from my medicine cabinet and a water and relax on the couch. I’ll be back in 10.” 

“Gemma.”

“Hmm?” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever loved you more.” 

She smiled back at him wide. 

Suresh needed time to gather his thoughts. He couldn’t hurt her right now. He knew that if he told her about last night that it would shatter her world. It would be one thing if Gabrielle meant something to Suresh, but Gabrielle meant absolutely nothing to him. He couldn’t even remember sleeping with her or kissing her. Shit, I remember kissing her. I called her G. I thought she was Gemma. Gemma will leave you. You can’t tell Gemma. 

Before he could think about it anymore, Gemma walked back into the apartment. 

“Ok drunky…I come bearing more goods to get you drunk again.” 

That afternoon came and went they watched movies and cuddled on the couch. Suresh decided he would keep Gemma in the dark about his darkest secret. 

---

[gayspock]

okdok (how my mam spells okie dokie; need to give her credit) some more bsg thoughts

okie btw i never properly said. i DO rlly love the themes of religion in the show. i have seen glimpses (i go through threads, bc im nosy, despite trying not 2 spoil myself) of ppl rlly rejecting it but sorryyyyy its just... yknow like- i loathe how patronising scifi can be of it sometimes, AND how bad fanbases can get. coming off of trek, well, youknow....

also completely . disavowing it .. is always soo silly 2 me bc... like im not religious myself, even, but i always find it one of the most interesting things to explore within fiction ^_^ esp esp with more scifi stuff, like... thats one of the best places to challenge and to play with it. smile. both with its relationdship between science but also how with its relationship between Humanity and how that might differ for different cultues.... and again its so disappointing the way its hanled so much of the time in many works, and by many Scifi enthusiasts. -_- bc its sooo reductive.

anyways i still sometimes feel like theres something missing from the show and i think thats just me im not sure why. like in terms of like... a certain incompleteness thats not JUST them pacing it out, or leaving things up for interpretation... but i cant uqite put my finger on it. its like i feel like maybe its just bc s1 was SO short for what it was and s2 has been very plot heavy. i think the show would have benefitted a bit more from some more establishing "filler" eps in terms of, like, worldbuilding, yknow? again- i really want to see more of the civillian side of things. i hope we get more of that ^_^ its deffo not like THE WORSTTT problem the show oculd have

BC LIKE OTHERWISE im rllyyyy loving the direction they took EVERYTHING in in season 2. omg. they set it all up so well and OUGHGHGHGG. i love how its testing everything theyve built from s1, wrt the command. absolutely crazy moves...

i was absolutely ITCHING for a presence like admiral cain and she delivered. part of me wishes it went a bit longer? just a bit. i dont think it was like... RUSHED... partially bc i do agree her takeover would have just been immediate, like it was, and i dont know what her role really could have been after they called off the assassinations. but idk- i wish we got to see a bit more of her, i guess! maybe even just an ep or so.

nonetheless she was still a really good contrast. her and the pegasus and how its run, versus galactica. and i do think.... i think i tlked before abt how sometimes i was unsatisfied with how, like, bsg kind of handled its own politics sometimes? like- specifically the roslin and zarek. i think thats moreso an issue with the latter, and again how... kind of lacking i find him, for what could be a really good and interesting opportunity to challenge roslin, who does have issues, unchecked, rather than just be kind of a minor antagonist ... & THATS EVEN MOREE the case with his presence back on kobol. like he was literally there just to cause conflict and idk like its FUNCTIONAL but its also like comeee on you can be more interesting with him! come on!

BUT here i do think with both cain and tigh's brief stint in command they did well to rlly explore it a bit more so im forgiving it. its not like that fixes that mess but this stuff was good enough for me to be like 👍uh huh, yaknow? b c it was soo good and argh im- SPEAKING OF, i am glad they did "remember" incidents like the gideon massacre, even after adama came back. again i do wanna see MORE of the civillians- but i think we're going to getthat soon, i hope? i feel it more in the air, with the introduction of that new number 6 and the cylon apologists which im rlly excited for... both bc theyre things i rlly wanted to see more from the show ^_^

anyway i feel like noneof this is that mad i just wanted to ramble in bc i haventttt properly eek and squeak i feel like i acc dont have much to say ^_6 despite rlly enjoying myself and the show LOL

sharon is still my favourite btw teehee smile

[burnedbyshoto]

sex tapes

— Midoriya Izuku is an overanalyzer in every aspect; it shouldn’t surprise you that he’s into making sex tapes too. When you’re stuck at home for an indefinite period of time, it’s finally time to pull them out and watch them together. —

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

pairing: midoriya izuku x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, sex tapes, spanking, sir calling, fuck machine, bondage, choking, slight degradation, dom!midoriya

word count: 3,697

a/n: i’m sososooososoosoosooso tired.... I apologize for any and all mistakes i did this from 2 am to 6 am...........im so tired...... this is for the bnharem collab as always, check out the masterlist for the otherssss buhbye!

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“You want to see our sex tapes?”

Two hours ago, you had complained about needing something to do.

Two weeks ago, Japan had been closed down indefinitely due to a pandemic. A virus sweeping across the nation that had even medical professionals with quirks unable to help. As Pro Heroes, you were given leeway to continue working under specific circumstances. 

Until things improved, Pro Heroes were not allowed out unless circumstances changed. A particular unit of one hundred heroes was permitted to keep up their patrols throughout the entire country because of their immunity to this virus. Unfortunately for you, both you and your boyfriend were not apart of that group.

Thus that meant that you were trapped at home.

Izuku Izuku had been your sweet boyfriend for a little over a year.

Two years after graduating from U.A., you had found yourself falling for your old schoolmate who worked at a nearby agency. He was no longer the short, awkward teenage boy that he was, but instead this tall stupidly buff adult Pro Hero. On top of his flowering, good looks, the two of you began to have instances together. Instances where you would both find yourself running into each other during patrols, having each other backs during team-up missions, and the many parties your old classmates pulled. It was only a matter of time before you held the sweet boy’s collar in your fist, and despite the aggressive look in your grip, you pressed a loving kiss to mouth. 

The rest was history.

He was truly something else. 

But you also learned somethings about your boyfriend that you didn’t realize was a thing until you were far too into this relationship.

For starters, despite how kind he was, how calm, beautiful, altruistic, and self-sacrificing he was in and out of his hero persona, it didn’t bleed into the bedroom.

While there was no arguing that he was a true hero, his aftercare was most definitely the best care of your life, you were almost ashamed to admit that you thought he was vanilla in bed. Not that there was anything wrong with being vanilla, you just didn’t expect him to keep a straight face at the feeling of your breasts pressed against his chest. 

You didn’t expect Izuku to be a sadist of sorts, using his quirk to inflict pain on you. To hold you against ties, sex toys stuffed in every available hole in your body. You didn’t believe he would whisper such lewd things in your ears, taunting you to not cum again despite his cock ramming into you at such bizarre speeds that you were completely overwhelmed. You couldn’t begin to fantasize the way that he would force your body into different positions -- positions you didn’t think possible of yourself! At every instance, he surprised you, destroying all of the theories your old classmates and you had once put together during late-night gossip sessions. As you grew used to this new side of Izuku, the side that made you seriously contemplate if he had some type of split personality, there was one thing you should have noticed from the beginning.

For the most prominent thing that shocked you was the one thing you should have seen coming from the very beginning.

The thing that just made sense for your over-analytical boyfriend to be into.

Sex tapes.

It took a single month of your sexual endeavors to begin for him to ask. You could remember it like yesterday; the way his green curls plastered to his sweaty forehead, his muscles tensing with his heavy breathing when his cock pulled out of your abused cunt. His green eyes, nearly black in their lasting lust, a reminder that you were his, trailed down your body.

“Do you mind if we try something new?” he asked, fingers massaging warm circles into your body. You had nodded, always eager to please your boyfriend in bed. “Do you mind if I film us?”

Had you known what you knew now, you definitely would have said yes still. But maybe you wouldn’t have been so willing to put up with every single time you two fucked if you knew this is what was going to transpire from it.

With the quarantine in place, the two of you could do nothing but watch the news in anticipation for the government to call for more Hero backup. Two minutes under quarantines bleed into two days into one and a half weeks.

The two of you were restless, on edge, and near feral. 

Neither one of you wanted to be stuck indoors, and it was beginning to transpire into your daily interactions. Who knew you would miss physical interaction?

But you two find common ground in releasing this built-up tension through passionate love affairs. You had always believed you and Izuku had a healthy sex life, the both you always finding time to get a good fuck in despite your demanding lifestyle. But this was different.

All-day, the two of you were going at it like horny bunnies in heat. If you hadn’t fucked on every inch of your shared apartment yet, you most definitely have now. The liter of lube the two of you had was gone in five days, and you were beginning to cross off all the sexual fantasies the two of you wanted to try.

Pegging? Done.

Sounding? Done.

Upside down sixty-nine? Done.

Food play? Done.

Every essential role play in existence? Done.

Putting on his costume and fucking him? Done.

You two had definitely gotten a lot of the ‘let’s try it out to see if we like it’ kinks out of the way. As a matter of fact, you were still recovering from wax play gone wrong because you didn’t have the proper wax but were too impatient for the proper one to come in the mail. There was a perk in being a masochist, you guessed. 

If you were honest, you really wanted to watch the sex tapes he had of the two of you. There was something oddly hot about sitting on the couch in front of the T.V. and view the various shots of the two of you fucking. You wondered how different it looked like from an outsider’s position, or if it seemed as good as it had felt. However, you didn’t know how to bring it up without being embarrassed.

So after failing to bring it up, you were stumped on what new to try. To get past this, the two of you had resorted to a website that had over 500 kinks and were now going through it. Things took a turn when Izuku sat behind you on the couch, his hands holding your waist, lips pressing against your neck while you scrolled through the list, trying to find one you both could agree to at the time. But you were never good at paying attention when Izuku’s lips pressed sinfully against your neck.

It took no time for you to straddle his lap, fingers raking through his thick curls, ragged moans pouring from your mouth when you ground against his hardening cock. His fingers gripping your waist in the same spot so hard you wouldn’t be surprised at the time this was all over your skin would be permanently dimpled in that area. Mouths meshed together in wet lust, his tongue coercing you for louder noises, more dramatic reactions to his dizzying force.

It’s when he presses your shoulders against the cushions of the couch, his teeth imprinting against your sensitive skin, do the words slip from your mouth.

“I-I wanna see our s-sex tapes,” you stammer, heat flashing deeply through, burning through your core as if you hadn’t had sex in years. 

For months now, he’s kept the videos hidden from you. You didn’t watch them, they definitely weren’t leaked anywhere, and as you said, your sex life was healthy, so there was no reason for Izuku to be watching them for pleasure afterward. Especially not of late. Your need to watch them on your T.V. was too high, and with them plaguing your mind, it seemed to come out now. 

Thus the question that started this all poured from Izuku’s mouth when he pulled away from you.

“You want to see our sex tapes?”

His forest green eyes peered down at you, they weren’t their usual nearing black with lust eyes, but instead a light green.

Excitement.

Darkened eyes were almost universally known as a promise for something good to happen, but no, not for Izuku. A smile spread across his face, pink tinting his cheeks while he nods his head in that same boy like excitement.

“Such a dirty fucking girl, wanting to get off on watching us fuck? ...I’ll go get it!”

Light eyes on Izuku was a threat. A promise that you had no idea what you were getting yourself into, a sign that you were going to be nothing but an experiment for him to try out. 

Izuku stood up, his tall frame seemingly bigger than he was, and walked away. You let out a ragged breathe that you had no idea that you were holding in while he retreated to where his phone most likely was. 

You lay awkwardly on the couch, pushing up against the plump cushions you could only imagine what his plans for you were. You didn’t expect him to pull out popcorn for the both of you to eat while you watched this, not after feeling his hard cock against your crotch.

But what would he do to you?

You yelped when his fingers grabbed your wrists, tugging them upwards, forcing you onto your feet. Blinking rapidly, you watched while Izuku wrapped a silk tie around your wrists, attaching it to the hook on the ceiling most definitely not to be used to hold your weight.

“Izuku?” you whine when he appears before you in a flash of green electricity. 

“The thing about our sex tapes is that I take them for... educational purposes,” Izuku sighs, his thumb running against your lower lip. He coats his thumb lightly with your saliva, his eyes remaining bright when he pushes your mouth down. “I take them to make sure that I fuck you properly each time.”

You whimper when his fingers hook around the waistband of your shorts and yanks them down. Your mouth drops in a shriek because something cold and full enters your cunt.

“If you want to watch them, that means I expect you to learn to. I want you to be able to fuck my dick the way that I want you to,” he sighs in your ear, obviously pleased by the way you arch into him. “Don’t worry, y/n, if you do well, you’ll get the real deal. If not? Well, we have time to waste until you get it right, don’t we?”

“Izuku, I didn’t think you,” you try to form sentences, but your mind is already foggy when he places a stool between your legs. It dawns on you that this wasn’t just a dildo that he shoved into your cunt, it was a fuck machine. “Holy shit…”

Izuku chuckles, stepping away from you and turning on the T.V. You watch while he connects his phone to the T.V., your arms already feeling like lead above your heads, and nothing had even started yet. His phone connects, and you watch with growing shallow breaths when he makes his way back behind you.

“Don’t look away from the screen, baby girl. I don’t want you to miss anything.”

Your eyes shift to the T.V., a familiar scene of your naked, cum stained body showing up on the pixels before you.

It was the very first sex tape.

“Now, I’m going to be giving you instructions. Pass them, you get my cock. Fail them, and well, we’ll see how long you can last there until you get it right.”

Without a second delay, the video plays, and with it, the fuck machine is turned on.

You watch the screen Izuku, and you kiss sensually. Your body stiff under his, obviously tired from the rounds you’d already endured. Izuku’s arms wrap under your legs, quickly slipping his cock back into your cunt, and the pornstar moan that ripped through your screen you’s voice made you scarlet in embarrassment.

“See, right there,” Izuku speaks to you from behind, and you shudder. The feeling of the cock slamming up into you was something new, the new angle was something similar yet different from riding Izuku’s own. But the tension of keeping yourself was proving to be a challenge. “When you circle your hips, throw your ass out more. Don’t be a prude about it.”

Your eye focuses on your swiveling hips, and you see what he’s talking about. Your ears burn in embarrassment, and you stammer in your discomfort. But before you could genuinely get your opinions out, a heavy hand comes down on your ass. 

He slammed his right hand against your ass cheek, making you shriek while your skin throbbed in his wake. The sharp pain made your legs buckle, a hot pressure igniting in your core, and another loud slap repeated on your opposite cheek.

Fisting in your hair, you yelped loudly when Izuku yanked your head back. The arch in your back was dramatized by this action; your back ached as another heavy slap echoed against your wounded skin. His light, but still wild breathing hits the shell of your ear, chills shoot down your spine when he snarls.

“What did I fucking say?” he whispers in your ear. “I said to follow my instructions—” his hand comes down against your ass with every word, ignoring your growing wails— “I’m the one who’s keeping you from my cock, so you better start listening because my patience is already thin.”

The next spank that comes across your ass nearly sends you stumbling over at the strength and power behind it. Your arms tremble above you, the weight and struggle to keep yourself upright was a challenge as Izuku abused your ass.

“Answer me, baby girl.”

There was no stopping Izuku’s mighty hand against your tender ass, and you could not think of anything but how your cunt throbbed for the man behind you. Your sobs of pain had long ago become those of pleasure, and you could feel the raised prints of his hands on your sore cheeks. 

It delighted you.

“Y-Yes, sir!” You pant, your body trembling in your excitement and need for more.

“You like this, don’t you,” he laughs almost delightfully while he rubs circles against your heated skin. “I guess we’ll have to make this harder for you.”

And harder, he made it.

Izuku came for your speed, intensifying the machine that was currently slamming into your squelching cunt, insisting that you needed to outpace the machine. At one point, he even grabbed your waist and assisted you on your conquest of out fucking the sex machine, but it was overwhelming you. You could barely hear Izuku’s corrections, his demands for you to improve the dipping of your pounding hips, his advice of how you should be louder in bed, of how you should stop using your head so much.

But right now, you could no longer keep the focus on the POV video of you sucking his cock and were entirely mesmerized with the dildo thrusting into you and the way the recently placed gag felt in your mouth.

The fuck machine blows into your tight and slippery cunt, your eyes rolling backward at the mere sensation of the speed it was at, and a loud mewl leaves your throat. His fingers snuck behind your head, unfastening the gag, and was removed with a saliva string, and a sob croaked through your voice as your mouth was finally free. 

“Suck my dick just like that, baby girl,” on-screen Izuku pants, pleasurable noises following after only fueling the hot lava heat in between your legs.

You whimpered, watching yourself take his cock into your sore throat. The ever so eager on-screen Izuku wasting no time starting his face fucking.

You try to keep up with the momentum of the toy, pretending they were his viciously thrusting hips on-screen. Your hips fall against the toy despite its insane speed, keeping up with it according to the praises that now fall from Izuku’s mouth. Your breasts bounce with every thrust, and you moan, seeing yourself choke against his cock. Izuku chuckles, standing up behind you, his hands fondling with your breasts, his moans satisfactory and low, he was enjoying this a lot by the feeling of his cock pressed into you from behind. 

“Look at you, so desperate,” Izuku chuckles, his fingers tweaking your hard nipples. “So fucking needy.”

The words ignite a fire within you, and your legs tremble in unspoken glee. You wanted him to fuck you until you were nothing less than a mess. You needed him to give you his cock instead of this stupid fucking machine.

“IZUKU, PLEASE,” you scream, no longer satisfied with the fake cock stimulating your core. “PLEASE FUCK ME! PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR DICK! PLEASE, I NEED IT SO MUCH!”

Izuku chuckled, somehow pleased with your desperation, and with the sloppy noises of you sucking him off on-screen, and the machine billowing into your cunt, he let you free from the ceiling. 

He threw you against the couch, your tied arms moving over his head and pressing your sweating chest against his taut one. His fingers held onto his cock, teasing your entrance while he stared up at your pathetically needy form.

“Let’s see how well you learned.”

Without so much as a warning, his hips slammed entirely into you, and your mouth dropped into a silent scream at the way his thick cock pressed against your cervix. It was a familiar sensation now, and excitement you had grown to lust over despite the pain it brought you. 

You panted as he slammed into you, pulling you by your hips so he could get a rapid rhythm going. You kissed him, saliva, teeth, and tongue clashing together in this desperate clash, you clawed at his back, desperate to hear him snarl. Unsatisfied with his lack of response, you bit down hard against his lip, the familiar taste of iron filling your mouth. 

He let out his own pained moan as you sucked at his skin, which only coaxed him to drill harder into you, driving you further down into the cushioned couch that would have your back imprinted into it permanently.

His hand found your neck. “You’re a fast learner, huh?” he squeezed his hand around your neck, while he found the perfect soft spot above your breast to suck on, your choked moans a song in his ears.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you managed to squeeze out, your eyes clenched shut when you felt the burning coil build up in your stomach. “Oh, fuck, Izuku, I’m… I’m so c-close!”

“Is that right?” He said through his own labored breathing. He sucked on his index finger before trailing it down to your sensitive nub and began rubbing it, making your hair stand up on your skin.

His hand against your throat tightened, and black dots littered your vision; the heat of his hands burned against your skin. His teeth sunk far into your shoulder, enough for you to feel your skin breaking as his tongue moved in heated wet strokes to calm your now irritated skin. Then there were his nimble fingers running against your clit, your spastic walls clamming around his hammering and throbbing cock. But your bouncing and swiveling hips-- his taught lesson -- held no value anymore. Izuku’s hips snapped upwards fast enough and powerful enough to overcome and overwhelm you, disregarding any improvement you had made. The only thing you could make out with the way that you were no longer able to keep your eyes open was that his cock was hitting your bruised cervix. The sounds of your sopping wet pussy crashing against his forceful hips rang in your ears in a primal yet excited fashion, and the familiar sound of him using One for All to intensify everything about this fucking.

Your pussy clenched around his cock, and you dug your nails into his back, crying out when an ecstatic wave shot out through you, causing your legs to shake more than before.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he growls, and once again slams into you.

Your scream is silent, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, your fingers digging into his neck, and your toes curl. His hips are driving, persistent, and have a goal in mind. You can barely keep up with him, your long overstimulated body wanting to collapse at the seams, but he doesn’t stop.

The couch creaks loudly under you, shifting against the floor until you swear you can feel Izuku having to take steps to keep with you against his powerful thrusts.

“Cum, Izuku,” you beg, your hips wildly thrashing against his. “Please, fill me with your cum!”

That’s all it takes, and a hot and heavy load shoots through you, and Izuku collapses onto you. His body twitching while his cock remains hard within you, the feeling of his cum swimming in your cunt, making your head spin with euphoria.

“Holy shit,” you mumble, unable to say anything but that. No amount of fucking had made you feel like this yet.

“I didn’t think you’d have such a… such a good reception to the sex tapes,” Izuku admits, pulling out of you and stumbling to his feet. 

“We are pretty hot,” you jest, trying to compose your sweaty and sticky self.

“You are,” he agrees with a sweet smile. “Give me a sec to clean you up!”

You could only hum when he presses a last kiss to your mouth before retreating to get you cleaned up. Your eyes fell on the camera that had been recording everything and was still recording. A smile perked on your face, maybe you did really like this sex tape thing he had.

[johnbroutledge]

fyeahbuddie >>> kelly-severide

rambling about fandom/the future of this blog under the cut.

first things first, cause i know it’s gonna be a question: no, i am not leaving 911 fandom. i still love the show and i will still be talking about it and creating things for the fandom. 

that being said, a lot is going to change.  to be completely honest, i haven’t been happy with my tumblr in a while. i’ve been doing a lot of stuff because i feel like i should, because i think it’s what people want, and not because its what nikki wants and it’s high time i quit doing that. i’m a people pleaser by nature and i genuinely would rather be miserable myself than upset or disappoint other people, and honestly, that attitude re: fandom is making me hate it. 

i’ve put a lot of pressure on myself in this fandom. i felt obligated to gif every new episode and to liveblog and to keep everything up to-date as best i could. i reblogged everything i was tagged in without question, even if if was something that i maybe, personally, wasn’t all that interested in. even when i’d already reblogged 15 of basically the same thing, even when people who don’t follow me and have never spoken to me started tagging me in things and never interacting with me otherwise. i took every single request. i never wanted to be the person who said no. 

i was miserable. 

i literally measured out every single post i made, did i post enough 911? is that too many posts about other fandoms in a row? did i an answer an ask in a way that could possibly upset someone? am i taking too long to respond, will people think im an asshole who ignores them? 

it was around christmas i guess, i was sick as fuck with covid and i was in bed, going through multiple daily panic attacks about my health and rather or fucking not i needed to be in the hospital, and still beating myself up about the fact that i hadn’t made gifsets, that i realized how awful my experience had become. 

don’t get me wrong, y’all, please, i love every single one of you. i am so fucking eternally, crazy grateful that 900 of you decide to be here everyday. but i can’t do this anymore. 

as some of you know, ive been struggling with writers block and it’s one of the big things that i’ve wanted to work on getting through this year. the thing that got me through covid and christmas was this incredible special outer banks fic idea that @daisiesandmoonlight and i have built, that i love so incredibly much, but i literally have talked myself out of even trying to write it because i felt like my first fic back into writing had to be buddie. 

i’m over that too. so, here’s how the future looks for this blog. 

-this blog is multifandom. completely. it will no longer be 99% 9-1-1. i will still be posting/talking about, and creating things for 911 fandom, but it is no longer my sole priority. my interaction will probably go way down as incorporate my other fandoms in earnest.  -i will be making gifs, but when i want to, for what i want to. i will no longer be holding myself to a strict “i’ve gotta live gif every episode” schedule. i will no longer be taking every single request. in fact, i will most likely not be doing 95% of what was in my inbox pre covid. i just, i don’t have the inspiration for it. those of you who have asked for requests via discord, i will still be doing yours for sure.  -i will not be reblogging every single thing im tagged in, if it’s not something im personally into, if im overwhelmed or i feel like there’s just been too much going on, i won’t be reblogging. im sorry, y’all. i really am, i love you and i love being this positive light who always hypes people up, but my tags are insane, especially on show nights, and it’s honestly too much a lot of the time. -if it inspires me, im going to let it. if that means i post 8 gifsets from one fandom in a row, or my first fic back into writing isn’t buddie, that’s okay.  -i will be adding admins to @thebuddielibrary to help take the stress off there. hopefully that is a positive growth for that blog as well <3 -i will continue to be a positive blog in all my fandoms. i will still not be interacting with drama or ship wars or ship or character bashing. that isn’t me and it’s not the vibe i want to cultivate on my blog. 

basically, i’m prioritizing my own self for once. i’m cultivating a blog that makes me happy. i don’t know what that looks like yet, honestly, but im going to find out. and i love all of you, but if you no longer want to follow me, i completely understand. you’ve all gotta shape your own experiences too, and i get that. 

in short: this may not be my final form, but it is my first evolution.  thanks for listening guys. and thanks for being here. tagging some mutuals so maybe i wont get lost. 

@ashavahishta @maygrant @taylor-kelly @briinstardust @sopheliza25 @bvckleydiaz @burzekbrettsey @gilbxrt-blythe @selenaurrr @matan4il @tylerhunklin @deareddie @doctornineandthreequarters @buttercupbuck @hennwilson  @siriuslyjamie @tarlosbuddie @whattarush @evanbuckleyed @evaneddie @herodiaz @nymika-arts @firefighter-diaz @maurawrites @malikjavaddzayn @captaincasey 

im sure i forgot someone so please signal boost this!!! 

[normal-thoughts-official]

I would have loved to see more interactions with the seelies- people who can’t lie but are crafty and secretive sounds fascinating. Think of the dialog! Alec going to magnus for advice since he has centuries of experience talking to them, Alec playing mental chess while trying to maintain peace. Would have loved getting more- but let’s be real, Cassaundra and the show writers weren’t clever enough to actually make any conversations like that of value.

SAME!!!!! honestly i would have loved to see so much more of the seelies. like bro do you understand that their culture predates the VERY EXISTENCE OF HUMANITY??? they are the ONLY kind of downworlders whose culture is completely detached from any human culture, not only because of predating it, but also because of the relative isolationism - which means human culture barely had any influence on their culture and history AS it developed

so like you can literally go fucking bonkers??????????? you can make ANYTHING. they have a whole ass society that doesn't have to have ANY ties to mundane concepts or history AT ALL. complete creative freedom. you could do ANYTHING! and don't get me started on the potential this has, within storytelling, to contextualize a lot of stuff modern western culture sees as natural or timeless as actually pretty fucking specific - like monogamy, cisheteropatriarchy, the gender binary, racism. all immortals have that potential of course since they can come from an array of different cultural and historical backgrounds but seelies in particular have SO much potential that is NEVER! FUCKING! USED! it all goes to waste and they are just a generic vaguely monarchic society that behaves literally exactly as modern western cultural standards. WHY. i'll never stop being salty, especially within sh where all this potential was there and instead they just villainized the seelies like no tomorrow for nO FUCKING REASON, and included a whole plotline about their ruler being a terrible power-hungry person and then proceeded to act as if that would have no influence on the seelies under her rule? thanks for nothing

like i know the seelie queen was so badly written that her own motivations even as a power-hungry wacko didn't make sense or were consistent (like why give simon the mark of cain for example, and for god's sake what kind of power-hungry crazy bitch gives their main enemy the power to literally kill her and destroy everything she has at the blink of an eye, like??? she literally tried to assist in her own genocide, it makes no fucking sense, i fucking hate it here) but if they are going to make her Terrible the least they could do was show how that impacted the people under her rule, especially if they are going to have meliorn be fucking tortured and either forced to display the marks of said torture or choosing to display them themself, like? please give your plotlines one singular thought

but of course it's easier to villainize seelies and reduce them to their obviously tyrannical ruler so they can go back to focusing on the shadowhunters and their issues. nevermind the fact that seelies are obviously equivalent to native ppls/third world countries resisting colonialism/imperialism in sh's stupid ass racial metaphor, which makes making their ruler a big bad unequivocally evil villain that is ruining everything A Choice. and a particularly choicy Choice considering they cast a middle-eastern man to play the most important seelie character. but if they are going to do that they could at least address how the people under her rule suffer and how that's a direct consequence of shadowhunter colonialism and interference, but why would we fkcnig thdo that!!!! when we can have love triangle drama or whatever

and tHEN there is the whole aspect of being unable to lie which is bound to have such an impact on their culture and history since they have to rely on other forms of communication to protect themselves - and considering the whole "tyrannical rule" plotline, to further the queen's agenda in the first place. and how telling the truth without preamble would probably be considered a huge display of trust in a society that has culturally developed so many ways of talking around things. like again the potential of the cultural and historic background for that society! it makes me go insane!!!

anyway all of that to say #JusticeForSeelies and #SeeliePlotlinesNow 2021 and forever. and YES i would have loved to see more interactions between them and other characters, particularly magnus because 1- admittedly i'm a hoe; and 2- magnus was clearly the one that had the most experience talking to seelies and that others relied on for that communication. he also seemed to be the most comfortable with them, which indicates there is either some sort of history there, or magnus just happens to feel relatively at home with the workings of their culture. which makes sense, because magnus also had to develop pretty similar defense mechanisms due to his, A- work as a warlock representative who has to interact with shadowhunters on the regular; B- history with having to deal with asmodeus, which required him to be very smart about what he disclosed and how, especially considering that he had to have been planning banishing asmodeus for a long time before he got to do it; and C- just history with abuse in general. we've seen the way he closed his heart off to new people; but at the same time, magnus is obviously an extrovert and likes to be around people in general. this meant that, in order to be able to both be in the kind of environment where he thrives and protect himself/his heart/his feelings, he had to learn how to interact with people while putting on a convincing façade, which requires pretty much the same sorts of wordplay and defense mechanisms that seelies use

magnus is good at wordplay, he's good at using talking to his benefit; we've seen that. he is also good at hiding and deflecting. he is notably not good at directly lying - every time he directly said A Lie such as "i am perfectly fine and not bothered by this at all :)" it was way less convincing than it was a clear display that he wouldn't budge. even alec, who has difficulty with social cues, noticed the lying and seemed concerned about it. so like. clearly his defense mechanisms were less lying and more dancing around subjects, directing conversation to safe topics, and guiding people to making certain assumptions and seeing sides of his that were safer and he preferred

so in that way it makes sense that magnus is somewhat in his element when dealing with seelies. i think "comfortable" is a strong word because this whole song and dance takes a huge toll on anyone's mental health and energy (which i think is something that could be very interestingly explored in seelies, their collective psyche, and their culture, the way they build relationships, etc. let meliorn have partners they feel 100% comfortable talking without preamble with 2k21), but it's something he is used to and a dynamic he can fall into without as much effort as others who would be second guessing themselves more and going slower, which clearly gives the seelies, who are used to it, an advantage

and like i know that i'm implying a confrontation or sort of situation where they are on opposing sides to seelies here, which i kind of am because i am thinking mostly about magnus' interactions with the seelie queen specifically, since she was the seelie he had the most meaningful interactions with. his interactions with meliorn were very few and almost never relevant, i barely remember them happening outside of generic downworld cabinet interactions tbh. but i don't just mean that because again, stop villainizing seelies 2k21

i also mean just generally that magnus would be in a more comfortable position talking to seelie strangers and slowly working into building a relationship and mutual trust. and just generally understanding them and the workings of their culture because he can empathize with the way they have built their social defense mechanisms. no one is 100% truthful to strangers, but seelies always seem kind of- analytical. and the cultural difference + anti-seelie racism makes them seem untrustworthy to most people, but magnus Gets It, so the potential for friendships! and the mutual understanding and the relative comfort around each other! and both parts understanding the enormity that is letting their walls down gradually and being more direct as time goes by. like.... aaaaaa

and yes magnus becomes a sort of reference on talking to seelies, mostly because he is good at "playing their game", but also making it a point to humanize seelies and making the other parts understand where they are coming from and how they feel :) and just improving their relations, particularly with other downworlders

im not going to get into alec because 1- the relationship between shadowhunters and seelies is already filled with oppression and a lot of complications, and particularly now that the seelie realm is politically fragile due to the loss of their ruler (however terrible she might have been), it would play into either white savior narratives or just straight up colonialism, especially given how alec as a leader already has a history of trying to build tutelage over downworlders (i don't care what his intentions were, it's still true, and although he's learning... well. he's learning, continuous action); 2- that would be more a relationship of opposition and i'm not that interested in that. but i would love to see seelies rebuilding themselves and their relationships and alliances with other downworlders particularly, and all the better if magnus is playing a part in that :)

in short:

more seelies

more magnus with seelies, especially friendships

more focus on the politics of seelies now that the seelie queen is gone

more seelies

more seelies

more seelies

[cursed-saphire-hart]

Ok I know you've acknowledged it, and I know in your au Tord acknowledges it, but its been on my mind for a little and I have no idea where else to say it. But Doomed Timeline Tord (and I guess Happy family Tord Before Tobi fixed things) is not a good father. I know its been said but I've never seen anyone here bring up the fact that even he knows it, but makes no attempt to change. I can understand that losing Anya fucked him up badly, especially considering that now he has a son as the living reminder of just how badly he messed up, but that doesn't justify or excuse the fact that (it seems) he isn't trying. And don't even get me started on the stuff where he not only emotionally neglects but physically abuses Tobi (I don't know if this is canon but I'm hoping its not)

Im not gonna get into how mad I am at him though because we all know that Anya will have Hell hath no fury when Tord dies

This has been on my mind for a bit but for some reason of all things the haircut ask really hit me hard

And finally someone dropped it hot and hard. I have literally been waiting for someone to point it out and solidify it in text bc i was too lazy to get the ball rolling down a hill.

Here's a tangent to read.

Doomed Timeline Tord is basically just mentally stuck. He never makes attempts to change or make things better since thats what people with control issues do. If they feel like they lost control once in their life, they'll make attempts at taking back control.

He's had alotta times where he'd rather make things worst, bc things can ALWAYS be worst, instead if try to make things better with a chance he'll fail.

The best way Tord can do that in his current life is control his son to an unhealthy degree, from who he interacts with, his friends, his interests and even who he'll marry. (a.k.a keeping Tobi from having romantic relationships)

No Tord doesn't physically abuse Tobi, he does how ever hold very high expectations that Tobi exhausts himself to reach. Which is why having his friends to pick him up is so important to have. Also leading to other issues with relationships and venting/coping methods.

I'll be the first to confirm Tord and Anya are NOT a healthy couple, and I've said it before when accused of romantacizing that kinda relationship (im not, im just acknowledging they exist and in a dystopia that's the most likely outcome for two already unstable characters) Tord has control issues and a temper, while Anya is mentally broken and emotionally unstable, both needing therapy for their issues but never receiving it.

To that extent, in my friends version of my au, Delaine or Jenny would have been healthier options to balance out Tord, meanwhile, for Anya, Albert or Jenny would have been much healthier relationships, emotionally and mentally.

Even in Happy Timeline, Tord still isn't a great father but at least makes attempts to be better for his wife and kids.

When I wrote each short fic or anwsered a question, I was showcasing things from Tords P.O.V technically. Tord knows he fucked up and fucked up BADLY, but he doesn't WANT to change. In his own head, he knows he's not a hero uniting the world, he isn't disillusioned, he's just an asshole stuck in a mental state he built himself, and bc he's literally the top of the latter, no one has the power or authority to smack him the fuck out of it.

The only one crazy enough to give him a much needed right hook is dead, and his son is too scared to be a disappointment to try.

In every sense of the word, Tord isnt a good father in this au, and thats to drive home just how messed up the dystopian world is, and how much Tobi needs his friends. And literally the only way he would have been CLOSE to being one is if he never was Red Leader to start with.

I really should put this all in a video someday.

[hongism]

Hyello, okay so. I don't have the emotional energy to take in and discuss everything in that chapter so imma just gush over the info cause I am a ✨whore✨ for world building.

So obviously MOC SPOILER

hi bestie HELLO guess WHO!!! finally ANSWering!!! altho im gonna answer separately and space everything out all Neatly bc im all over the place so strap IN we’re going on an moc RIDE!

THERE'S A WHOLE SIREN COMMUNITY?! AND YN AND IT MUST BE WOOYOUNG WERE FRIENDS? SIRENS HAVE A FULLY FLEDGE COMMUNITY WITH PRIESTS AND SCHOOLS AND MULTUOLE CITIES TO SOME EXTEND??? MAYBE EVEN AN ENTIRE PLANET WITH SIRENS MAYBE THEIR ORIGIN PLANET? HOW MANY TYPES OF SIRENS ARE THERE AND IN THE COMMUNITY HOW DTRICT ARE THE DIFFERENT ROLES?!?! ALSO DOES THE SIREN COMMUNITY ALLOW FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF SIRENS TO BE TOGETHER? OBVIOUSLY THEY SHOULD BUT ARE THE CHILDREN THEN HYBRID TYPES, LIKE WHEN WE GET BLUED DARK SKIND BABIES OR CAN A SKREN ONLY BE ONE TYPE. WHAT POWERS DO SIRENS HAVE AND DOES THE POWERS REFLECT THEIR PERSONALITY AND DO THE DIFFERENT TYOES LEAN TOWARDS CERTAIN JOBS. LIKE WE JUST LESRNED THE OCEAN GOTTA BE PRIESTS BUT MOON ISNT STRICT WHAT ABOUT FIRE. AND IS YN INSTIC TO PULL OUT A HEART CAUDE HER PERSONALITT, TRSUMA OR IS IT RELATED TO THE MOON. ALSO CAUSE ITS A RED MOON WHICH IS COMMONLY A BLOOD MOON, IS YN THEN A SPECIAL MOON SIREN AND THATS WHY HER POWERS ARE STEONGER OR HER INSTICTS TO USE THEM ARE STORNGER BUT THEN THE MILITARY FUCKED HER UP. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

now this is the thing im biting my tongue on SO HARD bc it’s my favorite aspect of the world building and the universe and everything involved in it bUTIHDFKJG THERS SO MUCH I WANNA SAYYYYYYYYYY in short that one dream sequence holds more hints and information than ANYTHING from previous chapters, i think that it’s probably the MOST IMPORTANT dream to date. while we’ve seen some crazy ones in the past, this one is both the biggest hint and the biggest window into y/n’s past by FARRRR. even tho that whole scene was dialogue i think there’s so much to pick up on from it and so much to see and learn from it and it’s one of my faves bc there’s so much to unpack from it !!

Like yes the story and the development is freaking ✨yes✨ I love it. Genuinely think moc should be released as books. But I just cannot deal with the emotions rn.

But also now all I'm going to be thinking about how many sirens are actually out there. And if yn knew her parents and wasn't just an orphan the military found in the streets... How the fuck did she end up in the military grasps. What happened to her parents what happened to the community, is it still out there? Guess I gotta go back and reread the galaxies and the backstories, obviously I must have missed or have forgotten something. Ugh how the puzzle pieces are puzzling (or something). Moc is a drug and I'm not going sober anytime soon

(obviously you don't have to respond to my questions, this is more just an insight into the spiralling of theories going on in my mind)

releasing moc as books? a dream and a half, i can say that much slkjdlgkjlkf but back to the sirens... how many are out there? we heard early on that hongjoong was looking for ‘the last five’ but then seonghwa debunked that and said that was a mistranslation over time that was passed down and such, but beyond that, we don’t really know much about sirens as a whole? there are some hints in the galaxies and planet descriptions but if that dream sequence is a puzzle, i would say we have a handful of pieces that can be put into place based on what we’ve learned so far!!!!

Okay I lied, I am ready to unpack a little of the ✨emotions✨

When hongjoong explained that hwa tried to stop San only for San to detain him and in a sense make him watch the scene unfold. And then realising hwa had to go through that again, only being even more helpless. I don't doubt hwa loves San, but to see the events happening again, with someone he clearly loves as much as he does yn even if he also loves joong, and to see the desperation and determination must have been just. Horrible. Just absolutely soul breaking horrible. I can imagine him vowing to himself after San that he would never let something like that happen again. That of any of the crew got out of control like that, that he would fight harder to stop them. That he would would do absolutely everything in his power to stop it. And then being helpless as he watched yn do it. Just pure heart wrenching pain. And it must have been beyond terrifying to see someone you love ready and determined to kill themselves partly from rage and partly from desperation. With the backstory, that scene becomes almost as cruel as the warehouse scene with San. The only redeeming quality is no one needing life saving surgery in a time crunch, otherwise they would be the same level of ✨never again✨

honestly i think the two crew members i torture the most are san and hwa bc i just keep putting them thru all this shit and hurting them so much but really this was the defining point of why seonghwa was so afraid. before we kinda just knew he was afraid of yn and hongjoong was mad about it. in this revelation we get to see the source of the trauma and how it was amplified by it being someone he loves as dearly as he loves yn. and for sure when first reading that scene of yn and jisung in the brig, it’s meant to evoke a sense of anger and rage like yn is so angry to a point where she would do this sort of thing, but my hope with that scene was also to show that desperation. that when looking back at it after having already seen the rage and the aftermath, that reading it again shows how desperate and hopeless she was in that moment. which is exactly the same emotion that was evoked back in that warehouse scene with san, except it was relayed differently because the warehouse was a more immediate sense of desperation. this brig scene was meant to emulate that but in a slow burn kinda way where the veil of realization is pulled off after the fact and not in the moment!!!

Just to make sure you don't misunderstand. Those asks were compliments. You are an absolutely incredible writer. And the fact that you aren’t afraid of hurting your characters *cough cough* SHOOTING SAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? *CLEARS THROAT AGRESSIVELY* just makes the story much better. No one gets plot armour, making it more realistic (?) and really draws in the writer and sorta imitates the fear and desperation the characters feel

PLS don’t worry, i live for every moment and i live for these open and raw and genuine conversations i didn’t take any as an insult i PROMISE!! i think part of the nature of this whole trope of space pirates and criminals is that hter is no guarantee of safety! i don’t wanna have to cut corners to make sure everyone stays unharmed and undamaged throughout the story when the nature of the world i’ve built thus far is a wildly dangerous one!!! i always say that i try to be as realistic as i can, all things considered, and i think that’s the biggest thing that adds to the ‘realism’ in my mind so im so happy to hear that you see it and appreciate it and enjoy it!!!

OHOHOHOHOHOH ALSO

YN GRIPPING SOMEONES HEART??? YOU WRITE THAT SO FUCKING WELL. LIKE ENIGUH DETAILS THAT WE KNOW WHATS GOING ON, BUT ALSO NOT SO MANY DETAILS SO IT GETS DETACHWD FROM THE STORY. LIKE THE LACK OF CLEAR SUPER MANY DETAILS REALLY MADE IT THAT *YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THIS, NOT JUST READING IT* LIKE IT MADE IT WAY MORE EMOTIONAL AND OERSONAL AND THE READER REALLY GOT IMMERSED IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY THAT KUST MADE IT ALL RHE MORE BETTER. ALSO JOONG AFRAID????? JOONG REALISING HE GOT A FULLY FLEDGED HEART RIPPER SIREN WHO CANT CONTROL HER BODY TO MOVE THROUGH A HARMLESS DOOR BUT CAN DEFINITELY KILL IN A HEARTBEAT (OR TWO 👀) ALSO THE CONTRAST OF REMOVING RHE BLOOD COLOURED WHITE OLASTIC AND HAVING A CLEAN HAND UNDERNWATH. THE SYMBOL OF IT ALSO BEKNG A TRASH CLEANERS SUIT. LIKE SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY USE THE TRASH PROTECTION DUIT FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE. ALSO THE OART WHERE SHE SAYS SHES FINE EVEN TJO SHE ISNT. AT FIRST I READ IT AS HER TELLING HERSELF TO LIE BUT THEN I REALISED ITS HER ADMITTING SHE VERY MUCH ISNT. AND SAN NOT KNOWING???? AND KISSING HER HAND AND UGH AND SEONGHWA KNOWING. I BET HE'S LOWKEY GETTING MORE AND MORE AFRAID OF HER. LIKE YN IS READY TO KILL HERSELF AND ANYONE AROUND HER TO KEEP SAN SAFE. AND SHE INSTICTUALLY GOES FOR THE MODT AGRESSIVE METHOD POSSIBLE. IHHHHHHHHHHHHH I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL WTITING AND YOUR TWISTED MIND THAT CAN CREATE ALL THESE FUCKING SCENES THAT GOT ME THUNKING AND FEELING ✨EMOTIONS✨

truly one of the HIGHLIGHTS of the chapter simply bc of how shocking and sudden it is!! for me, that was one of the easiest scenes to write in the chapter, oddly enough? it was something that when it came time to write it, i knew how i wanted it to be and was able to just sit down and write it out the way its written in the final draft of the chapter. i really love playing with those aspects of fiction and storytelling. tangible to a point, without spelling it out. i think it’s obvious that i really love delayed realization in writing, but i really like playing with how the brain processes information and for me personally, i don’t pick up on things right away! i can realize them in a snap or it can take me a bit to go ‘oh god that’s what happened’, and i like playing with that in y/n’s character a LOT.

and in that same vein of thought, there are some layers to that scene as well when compared to the door scene. in the door scene we saw hongjoong clearly tell y/n ‘you need to do this to save san’ yet she wasn’t able to do it despite trying and believing hongjoong. then in the heart scene we saw y/n clearly tell herself ‘you need to do this to save san’ and she did it then. so there’s a lot at play in that parallel alone too. and with that internal monologue she has of im fine vs not fine, then san kissing the hand that touched a literal real actual beating heart for me that was a sort of self indulgent scene and i was really worried about it coming across as too cheesy or something like that, but that is something that’s gonna impact y/n as a character and her relationship with san when they have the conversation of ‘oh hey i put my hand through a man’s chest for you’

i think part of why this chapter was so difficult to construct and write as a whole definitely is because of all the undertones and nuances throughout, and in a lot of ways it’s so so much to even think about that it’s almost too much packed into one chapter alone, but even if you don’t pick up on all the nuances throughout, i’m hoping to revisit them and bring them back around in that delayed realization style again bc that’s one of my favorite things to do ofc :3