#and i am glad they do not own transformers

[sunsetzer]

Currently thinking about how there's a version of our reality out there in the multiverse where Hasbro didn't refuse to sell Transformers to Disney, and with access to the IP Nomura said "fuck it let's put the funky robots in Kingdom Hearts".

[sodapopseagull]

SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 44 OF SEEN ON AO3!!!

Some scribbles for Seen by ayvaines on AO3! The last chapter wrapped up with such a sweet scene and some gorgeously vivid descriptions of how the lads were dressed and I knew I had to draw them 💜

If you haven't read Seen, it's a gorgeous modern AU told from Astarion's POV where he and his terrible partner Cazador join a D&D game DMed by Gale. It's so human and the writing is poetic and loaded with immersive sensory details which I personally really appreciate. Do heed the warnings, but please go check it out if it sounds like something you'll enjoy 🙏

Also- I legit thought the coffin nail necklace was a coffin-shaped press-on nail, like for a manicure, stuck on a chain. I was like, "quirky but okay, slay" and I am so glad I googled it before drawing LMAO idk if I could have ever come back from that.

[leviathans-watching]

omg i love your work!! if posisble, can you do a part 2 to touching their wings and stuff with the dateables or maybe other characters? thank you and take care :D

touching their tails/horns/etc. pt 2

includes: diavolo, barbatos, simeon, mephisto, raphael x/& gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .5k | rated t | m.list | pt 1

a/n: i took a lot of creative liberties with this one, either because their forms haven't been revealed or just because i wanted to so just assume most of this is not canon at all lol

please reblog and like <33

➳ diavolo laughs as you poke at the gilded ends of his wings, taking in the intricate design. “it’s real gold,” he says before you can ask, gesturing to the tips of his horns, “as are these. it’s a birth present to children of our family, laced with magic that let’s it grow and change along with is. it’s a symbol of our wealth, our status.” you reach up to touch his horns, and he leans into your touch, happy to let you explore as you wish. “sometimes i think they’re a bit much, and then i remember who i am,” he continues, and you chuckle, making him laugh again too.

➳ barbatos’ tail twitches as you run your hand along it, obviously surprised by the texture. “that feels good,” he says mildly, and you give him a grin, twisting the end of each forked part between your fingers gently. if it keeps you occupied he’s happy to let you play with his tail for as long as you want. only because of that, obviously. not because he can���t remember the last time, if ever, someone’s touched him like this. or because your touch is soothing something inside of him he hadn’t known needed soothed.

➳ mephisto bows his head for you, letting you feel over the nubs where his horns should have been. “they never grew in quite properly,” he explains, sighing as you scratch gently at his scalp around them, “which is why i don’t often reveal my demon form. it’s a bit embarrassing, isn’t it? of course, my parents offered to have false horns inset, and lord diavolo knows we had the money for it, but, well, that just sounded like a bother.” you press your fingers to hs head, eyes steady, and he’s glad to see you’re not thinking of him any differently.

➳ raphael unfurls his wings, and you catch your breath. he’s often been told that his wings are beautiful, richly colored like a peacock’s, and your reaction goes on to support that opinion. “you can touch, if you’d like,” he offers, and you don’t hesitate, burying your fingers in the downy feathers near where they connect to his back. his head falls back, and a quiet peace goes over the two of you as you stroke your way from base to wing tip, then back, soothing actions putting him on the verge of sleep.

➳ simeon wakes up to the feel of your touch on his wing, soft and hesitant. sometime during the night, he’d transformed into his angel form, wings splayed out and over the bed, almost covering the whole thing in their enormity. they certainly cover you, like a warm, live, down blanket. he twitches instinctively, and you pull your hands back. “no, no,” he says sleepily, “you can keep going. it feels good when you touch me.” he sees you smile and smiles too, even though he’s already being lured back into sleep by your soft strokes across the top of his wing, where the feathers are smooth and packed together.

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

[jtargaryen18]

His Inheritance ~ Chapter 35

A/N: The center photo is indicative of the reader's gown only. Not her appearance which isn't defined.

Part 35: Dance with the Devil

Series Masterlist

Words: 5.2k

Pairing: Mobster Steve Rogers x Mobster daughter reader

Warnings: References to mafia, reference to violence and violent acts, intimidation, dark seduction. This is a dark fic. Please read responsibly.

Disclaimer: The author of this work claims no ownership of characters aside from the reader, and original secondary characters mentioned. This work is not intended for those under the age of 18 due to explicit sexual content and darker themes. By reading this work or any works on my blog (jtargaryen18), you agree that you are at least 18 years of age. I do not consent to have my work hosted on any third party app or site. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but archiveofourown and tumblr, it has been reposted without my permission.

Summary: For @alexakeyloveloki. Your father is the head of one of the most powerful crime families in Boston but he’s protected you from that life. In your quiet home outside the city, you’ve been cared for and protected. When the desires of a more powerful man with the will to dominate bursts into your life, all your illusions are shattered as he comes to claim what is his.

"You are almost ready," Yelena said with a smile, just after the stylists left. "Now the jewelry."

You paused, looking at your reflection in the mirror. Your gown was an exclusive creation by a top designer, a beautiful sleeveless, a-line creation in layers of tulle, sequins, and matte satin. Shades of pale blue and gold transformed you, enhanced by the ornate way your hair was done, the subtelty of your carefully applied makeup. Beneath you wore the most elegant little gold heels that were surprising comfortable despite their minimal style. The stockings were sheer, hugging your upper thighs just below the skimpy ice-blue panties you wore.

The mention of jewelry brought up an unhappy memory and you knew Yelena recalled it too when your gaze met hers. How your husband's ex-mistress smuggled her necklace in for you to wear on another special occasion had never been solved.Had it been Neal? Hansen? A reminder from the not-too-distant past that your enemies could reach you at any time. A reminder to be vigilant. 

"What jewelry?" you asked carefully.

Yelena smiled. "I picked it up myself," she told you, lifting a delicate strand of diamonds set in gold from a black velvet box on the bed. 

When she draped it around your throat, you smiled at the way it completed your look. There were matching earrings, diamond studs each with a teardrop diamond dangling and catching the light. The set was exquisite. 

"Harry Winston," your friend told you, admiring how they looked on you.

"Nice of them to loan these for the ball," you told her, grateful you got to wear them. 

Yelena reached for the golden mask on the bed, holding it to you. "No loan. Steve bought them."

What?

"These must have cost a fortune," you mused. They probably cost more than everything else you owned combined. "Glad you're going with us. I'd hate to get mugged for these."

Yelena grinned. "Security is going to be tight already with so many important people there. The mayor will be there. One of the state senators."

You scoffed. "Why am I going? I'm no one special."

"But you are," Yelena told you. 'The fact that everyone wants you has been a powerful motivator in this game of chess. Your husband is completely devoted to you. Barnes would love to get his hands on you."

"Barnes would ring my neck the first chance he got," you pointed out.

Yelena's expression was difficult to read. "I'm not so sure about that."

"Hansen would for sure kill me," you said, putting your mask in place carefully. The soft mask of golden sequins fit over your eyes. 

Yelena's gaze dropped at the mention of the name and you were ashamed. You needed to work harder not to bring that up to her. And you needed a subject change. Fast.

"Who's going to be here with Nat tonight?" You weren't surprised Nat didn't want to go. She'd been through so much between the horrific end of her abusive marriage and all trauma of years being left to the sadistic nature of Banner. You wanted to make sure she was well looked after while you and Steve were gone.

"Clint is staying here of course," Yelena said quietly. "Dyson will be here too. He's arranged for extra security for the house tonight."

You nodded your approval. "What about Scott?"

"He's coming with us," Yelena explained. 

You smiled. Scott going had little to do with keeping you and Steve safe and everything to do with spending time with Yelena. You were pretty sure Yelena was aware of Scott's infatuation with her. Would she ever return his affections? You didn't know. Considering her tragic history, you weren't sure she could feel the same way towards him or anyone. But in the time you'd known Scott, you learned he was a good man who always had your back and never once questioned your authority. You trusted him with your life. You trusted him with Yelena too.

But would she ever give him - or anyone - a chance after all she'd been through?

You blew out an exhale, preparing yourself for the night ahead. "I guess we should let Steve know I'm ready."

"He knows," a deep voice caught you and Yelena both off guard. 

Your husband strolled into the bedroom and Yelena stepped back to allow him a clear path to you. He looked breathtakingly handsome in the classic black tuxedo he wore, tailored perfectly to fit his tall, broad-shouldered physique. His tawny hair was perfectly styled, diamond cufflinks winking in the light. His tie was shades of gold and blue to match your gown, a subtle touch but one you appreciated.

Steve moved to stand behind you in the mirror of your vanity, bending to fit his handsome face in the reflection with yours. 

"You look so beautiful," he said with something like reverence in his voice. "I can't wait to show you off."

"I'll be downstairs," Yelena said, making her way out to give you some privacy. "We worked very hard on her, boss. Don't mess her up."

Steve smiled at what he took as a playful warning, his large hands smoothing over your bare shoulders. Slowly, you removed the mask, placing it in your lap with your hands. His watchful gaze didn't miss the slight tremble of their movements.

"Everything is going to be fine," he explained. "I've been to this event before. All the rich, politic elite of Boston come out to dance and drink the night away and wallow in excess. It's probably Tony's favorite night of the year."

You could see it. And you were excited to go to the annual masquerade ball, as Steve's wife and not his trophy, and to enjoy a fabulous night on the town. You felt like Cinderella, going to the ball in the gown that truly looked as if magic had created it.

But you couldn't fight back an impending sense of dread. It had been so quiet in the weeks of your recovery and Steve's. Life went on. You were included in all the family's business meetings. The family business had recovered and was branching out, deals with three of the other four families made things even better. 

Not that you agreed with all of it. You weren't crazy about the loan sharking or protection deals the family made. The casinos and restaurants didn't bother you as much. And at least the family wasn't making any money off drugs or trafficking. Some of the stories about the business and how other families operated you heard now were just horrific. You made up your mind early that no matter what, you'd never allow the family to make money off the misfortunes of women and children. Never.

It had been very quiet where the Barnes family was concerned. Too quiet.

"I'll  be the envy of every man there tonight," he murmured, pressing a kiss into your neck. The soft brush of his beard made you shiver. A sensual smiled curved Steve's lips. "Are you ready?"

You nodded. You trusted your husband. You were going to do your best to have a wonderful night, just like he intended.

And still that little kernel of dread lingered.

You felt like you were in an old Hollywood movie to walk down the staircase on your husband's arm with the gown flowing softly with your movements. Honestly, you were grateful for Steve's help in keeping you balanced, relieved when you made it to the bottom of the stairs.

Dyson, Yelena, Scott, Clint and Nat were a small crowd, watching in admiration as you approached. Nat's smile was all you needed to feel like a princess. Her lovely green eyes lit up as her gaze swept over you. 

"You look perfect," she exclaimed, carefully hugging you. "I knew that gown was the one."

Nat had been the one to find it when the two of you went out shopping for it. And you were all too happy to give her the credit. You knew very little about fashion. You would learn. Until you did, it was nice to have the advice of someone who already understood it.

As Nat stepped back, you forced yourself to smile. She still looked so small, so frail. She had yet to gain weight and regain her amazing figure. Your sister-in-law seemed fragile, even with the protection and love of the man she'd always wanted. Even with the full support and love of her brother. It worried you.

Dyson looked worried too, but as you did, he put on a quick smile. "You two had best get going. The line at dropoff takes forever."

"True enough," Steve said, nodding to Yelena and Scott.

You stopped to hug Dyson. "Keep her safe for me," you whispered.

"You know I will," he muttered.

Steve whisked you away to the sleek black limousine waiting in the driveway. Its glossy, jet-black exterior reflected the fading sunlight with a mirror-like finish. The long, streamlined body stretched gracefully, its tinted windows offering privacy and adding to its air of mystery. Scott climbed in behind the wheel and Yelena rode shotgun as Steve got you into the back seat, helping you keep your gown away from the doors. Once you were settled, you studied your husband. Something was missing.

"Did you bring a mask?" you asked him. 

Steve smiled, pulling a small black mass from inside his tuxedo coat. No sequins, just a matte black mask he could wear. But he wasn't interested in the mask as he fidgeted with it. He was too busy staring at you.

"Are you excited?" he asked.

You couldn't help the smile the question brought on. "Yes."

Steve looked pleased. "As time goes on and things settle down, we'll get out more. Do more things like this. You look like a princess tonight."

Tears pricked at the backs of your eyes at his heartfelt words. He meant them. He was taking you out to a society function, dressed you up like you were going to the fucking Oscars. A night out like nothing you'd ever experienced before. You'd been excited since he told you he got the tickets a few weeks ago.

"There are going to be a lot of people there, sweetheart," Steve explained quietly. "I'm sure Belova went over everything with you. But I need you to listen. You are going to be with me at all times. If you're not with me, you'll be with Belova and Lang. No wandering off to talk to people or sightsee. Okay?"

You nodded. Yelena had covered the plans thoroughly while she helped you get ready for the evening. 

"If I have to talk business for a moment, Belova will be with you. You have to go to the ladies' room, Belova will be with you," he continued. "Take it easy on the drinks. You're not used to alcohol and I need you vigilant tonight. We're going to have a wonderful time but..."

"I understand," you told him. "Besides, I don't want to miss any part of tonight because I'm drinking. It's my first masquerade ball. I'd like to enjoy every minute of it."

The smile Steve flashed you had your heart fluttering in your chest.

"There will be dancing, right?" you asked.

"Of course," he told you. 

"You'll dance with me?" Would Steve dance with you to a beautiful ballad or classic song?

Reaching over, he tipped up your chin with his fingers, his touch careful. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you when you smile at me like that. I love you."

"I love you, too." 

His lips were a teasing brush against your own but in seconds it deepened, filled with longing and need. 

The sharp wrap on the dark glass that separated the two of you in the back seat of the limo from Scott and Yelena up front scared you. Then the glass slid down just a couple of inches. 

"Later," Yelena admonished. "I worked too hard on her for this party, boss."

You froze thinking that was going to piss your husband off but he laughed. "Okay, sorry," he called back to her.

It made you happy. Ever since everything happened that day between your family and Barnes', your husband and your best friend got along a lot better. Steve was kinder to her, treated her with the same respect as he would any of the men in his employ. That being the case, Yelena felt comfortable enough to tease him about things like tonight. She worked hard on carefully picking her moments with him to tease. She did even better at being thoughtful when offering criticism or advice. The fact that they were getting along better just made your life easier.

"That's supposed to be privacy glass," he said, still grinning.

"Or she's just that good at her job." Honestly, she was.

"After the ball," Steve said once the privacy glass has slid back up, "I want you out of that dress. Especially if you want to keep it."

The sly warning had you grinning. "I would like to keep it. It's the most beautiful dress I've ever seen."

"Noted," your husband said. "I'll do my best to contain myself until you get the gown to safety."

The heated looks he cut you the entire way into Boston made you wonder if he'd be able to. You couldn't wait to find out.

Once you reached the venue, you saw there was indeed an endless line of limos in the que leading up to the door. It moved surprisingly fast. Within ten minutes, Scott pulled up to the door and Yelena darted out to open the door for you. Before you could reach for her hand, Steve was there, helping you out of the back of the car with ease and ushering you up the carpeted stairs with Yelena behind you. The decorations and festive lighting dazzled you as you moved along on Steve's arm. The way the soft light reflected off the gown you wore made you feel like you were in a fairytale. 

Steve stopped and greeted more than a few gentlemen on the way into the venue. One man you recognized as a senator and the easy way the two men spoke had you curious. Did the senator know who Steve was? Were they old friends? For a moment, the two of them seemed to forget all going on around them. Just as quickly, the senator's gaze fell on you and the handsome older man smiled. 

"Is this your new bride?" the senator asked.

"She is," Steve replied, introducing you with obvious pride. You meant to shake the man's hand. He kissed the back of yours in an old fashioned gesture. You found him completely charming. 

"Have you been to the masquerade before?" the senator asked.

You shook your head. "This is my first one."

The man smiled. "I hope you enjoy tonight. If I get the chance, I'll introduce you to my wife. It's one of her favorite nights of the year."

"I'd like that," you told him. "It was nice to meet you."

Was it your imagination that Steve watched you with such wonder? Once his conversation with the senator ended, he led you further into the venue where the main ballroom was all prepared, looking like a view from a movie set. 

Clusters of elegant tables arranged in a wide horseshoe shape framed the dance floor, each adorned with lavish centerpieces sparkling beneath the soft glow of the majestic chandelier overhead. The chandelier's light cascaded down like a shimmering waterfall, casting a warm, golden hue over the room, making every surface gleam. A full bar stood ready, offering the finest drinks, while an orchestra played a symphony of enchanting melodies, weaving through the air like a spell. The room was a sea of Boston's political powerhouses, movie stars, and the wealthy elite, all dressed in exquisite gowns and tailored suits, their masks concealing only their identities—not their status. As you paused to take it all in, your husband's familiar warmth pressed against your back, grounding you in the moment as the dazzling scene unfolded before your eyes.

"What do you think?" Steve's whisper at your ear made you shiver.

"I love this," you told him with enthusiasm. "Thank you for bringing me tonight."

"You don't have to thank me." Your husband took your hand, looking like a tawny-haired prince in his tuxedo and black mask, and led you to the dance floor. Your surprise must have shown on your face because he laughed as he swept you into his arms at the edge of the dancing crowd and led you in an easy waltz.

Steve was a wonderful dancer much to your surprise. He led you with an easy grace that you delighted in and found easy to keep up with given your own love of dance. You knew you had to be staring at him but he kept you close, enjoying your surprise.

"When did you learn to dance like this?" you had to ask after he twirled you around gracefully. 

"It's not so hard," he said, his attention solely on you. "Not nearly as hard as your type of dancing."

Ballet was discipline but dancing a perfect waltz wasn't easy either. You were impressed. 

"Is this why you got us all dressed up?" you teased. "So you could show off your dancing skills?"

Steve chuckled. "Is there something wrong with wanting to have a magical night with your wife?"

You were delighted. But you knew it wasn't the only reason Steve brought you here. And now that you were involved in the family business, you weren't offended by the other reason the two of you were there.

Not long before he married you, Steve had acquired a prized property on the outskirts of Boston. He'd been so involved with marrying you and taking over the families he'd neglected it for a time. Now his attention was back on it, plans were being made to develop it. Together, you'd decided on an exclusive resort with fine dining, glitzy nightclubs, and a casino for the wealthy. It was a massive investment and to make it work, certain permits would need to be acquired. The senator and a few key businessmen there tonight could make or break the project that would expand your family's wealth. 

It was a very important night for Steve.

He'd be spending some time talking to these gentlemen tonight which is why Yelena and Scott were there, to keep you safe. You really didn't mind. You felt like Cinderella at the ball in the beautiful gown that flowed and captured the light with your movements as you danced with your husband among the wealthy citizens of the city. As the two of you moved through the dance, you caught a glimpse of Yelena, dressed in her dark suit and standing next to Scott, blending into the background. Your best friend's gaze never left you. Scott's never left her. You smiled, enjoying the beauty of the moment, dancing with your husband at your very first masquerade ball.

When the dance came to an end, it took you a moment to realize it. One of the musicians announced the band would take a short break and be back in just a few minutes. Steve's hand at your lower back urged you to turn. The senator making his way towards you with a lovely older lady at his side. 

The senator's wife was polished from head to toe. Her gown was bright pink layers of satin that matched her lipstick. Otherwise her white hair and face gave her a cold countenance, like she was an ice queen dressed for her best guess at spring. Her eyes were dark, small and mean as her gaze swept over you. The senator assured you that you and his wife would have plenty to talk about. As the woman stood there studying you with pursed lips, you decided talking to her probably wasn't the best idea.

Steve's gaze met yours and he nodded as he let the senator lead him away, leaving you with the judgy woman before you.

"This must be a special night for you," she said tartly.

Straightening your spine, you smiled. "Why is that?"

The woman's white brows rose slightly but a smile played about her lips. "You don't belong here."

"Excuse me?" You kept your smile in place.

"My father was a direct descendent from The Mayflower," she informed you. "We're practically royalty here. We built our fortune through hard work and our good name. You, on the other hand, come from poverty and crime. You father crawled out the shadows and robbed good people blind. That's why you have the money to play dress up and act like you belong here. We all know your husband fancies himself some sort of underworld prince. But he doesn't belong here either."

Oh, no, she didn't just put you and your husband down. Lifting your chin, you looked her in the eye.

"Your ancestors came over on a ship over four hundred years ago and nobody cares anymore," you told her. "You can pretend to be royalty, and tell yourself you made your money working hard and protecting your good name. But the sad truth is, your family made your money the same way mine did. In fact, your family probably paid mine to keep from getting your hands dirty or to protect your interests. And my husband is the king of Boston's underworld and so was my father before him. You may be someone in society right now, but your husband is currently anelected official. If you were smart, you'd spending a little more time being respectful."

Gracefully as you could manage, you turned your back to the rude woman and marched off. Yeah, maybe you hurt your husband's chances of getting the permits you needed for the project development once she talked to her husband. But you weren't about to put up with someone like that. 

You looked all around for Yelena. You were dying to tell her about the conversation you'd just had. But you weren't watching where you were going and you collided with someone hard.

And whoever he was, he caught you in his arms, sweeping you out onto the dance floor as another waltz began. He was as tall as your husband and the scent of his expensive cologne was familiar. You realized who held you a beat before he spoke, a low purr by your ear.

"Did you miss me, beautiful?"

Barnes.

Easing back, you glanced up at your uninvited dancing partner, wearing an aura of allure and danger with ease. Barnes' chiseled jawline was partially obscured by the intricately designed black mask he wore, adorned with silver accents catching the light. Those steely-blue eyes were shadowed but still piercing, glinting with a cold intensity as his gaze met yours.

His tuxedo was entirely black and tailored to perfection, hugging his muscular frame effortlessly. His attire seemed to absorb the light, creating a sense that he came from the shadows. Even his shirt was dark onyx, subtle embroidery only revealing itself when he moved. And he felt strong as he held you, solid and healed.

Stop staring at the man and answer.

"I haven't thought about you at all," you told him, trying to sound nonchalant but not quite hitting that note.

As much as you hated to admit it, Barnes was undeniably handsome. From the way his hair was slicked back with precision to the confident smirk curling his lips, the man was... magnetic. But there was a sinister edge beneath the polished surface. There always had been. Barnes' posture was too poised, his movements too calculated. Every inch of him whispered danger, a wolf in the presence of unsuspecting lambs.

Pulling you close to him, Barnes chuckled. "I don't believe that. I think you I live rent free in that beautiful head of yours."

"Maybe," you said, feeling his smile widen. "I do think about how I wished we'd used more poison."

Now he laughed, a deep rich sound. "I don't doubt that."

"What do you want?" You looked anywhere but at him. Still, you were so focused on the predator that held you, you weren't really seeing your surroundings. The music, the lights, everything else seemed to fade into the background.

"What do you think I want?" Barnes asked.

As Barnes swept you around the floor, your mind scrambled for a comeback. "Your hands around my throat," you said, going with honesty. "And me dead?"

Leaning in, he ran his nose gently up the column of your neck, making you shiver. "Oh, I did. I really did. And I could have made that happen."

You were dangerously close to having him think he had the upper hand here. "No, you couldn't."

Again, he chuckled. "You've got it all figured out, don't you?" Releasing you only long enough to spin you in the dance, he pulled you back into him tightly. "You made peace with your husband. You're now involved in the family business. I would call Steve a pussy for even thinking about that if it were any other woman. But you're not just any woman. But you're special."

You missed a step in your alarm. How the hell did Barnes know you were in the all the family business meetings now? And that you and Steve had made peace? The questions triggered your anxiety, reminding you of the days early in your marriage when Neal had been Barnes' rat and you were always looking over your shoulder. Was someone else talking to Barnes?

"A long time ago, your mother seduced my father," Barnes whispered. "She tore my family apart. And when you came along and you weren't the poor disfigured little girl we were told you were, I assumed you were a little whore like your mother. You look almost exactly like her. Has anyone told you that?"

You didn't answer, trying hard to put a little space between the two of you. Where was Steve? It wouldn't be too conspicuous if he broke in on the dance. If Yelena or Scott came to save you, it could create a scene and unwanted attention. 

"I even thought maybe, horrible thought I know," Barnes went on, "that you might be my half-sister. But it didn't take me long to realize that wasn't true either. Besides, that devious little mind in there, hidden behind all that beauty? You didn't get that from your mother. Or my father."

"What's it to you?" you snapped at him, trying to pull off pissed even though you held anger and fear in equal measure. "I'm Steve's wife. He's your boss. You'd do well to remember that."

Barnes was unfazed. "You're Steve's wife. For now. But he can't handle you." Barnes leaned closer, his gaze locking with yours. "You should belong to someone stronger."

Now you really were getting pissed. "I don't need you or any man, including my husband, to tell me who I am and what I should be doing," you said.

"You may be right," he purred. "But it's that attitude, that fire. It got me thinking... I had the wrong idea about you from the beginning. Yeah, all the bitterness from the past clouded my judgment for a while. I wanted you dead and buried next to your loser husband." When you tried to pull free of him, he tightened his grip. His grin widened. "Now I realize you're exactly what I need."

"For what?" You didn't know how much of your glare he got from behind your mask.

"To finally take my rightful place," he said as if it were gospel. "The position occupied by your current husband."

Current husband? Who the fuck did he think he was?

"Our children will be kings and queens," Barnes went on. "That dynasty would rule Boston for decades."

"My children with Steve will rule Boston," you told him angrily. "And when we're done with you, no one will even remember the Barnes family."

"One day," he said with meaning, leaning closer, "you'll be mine."

Despite yourself, you shivered. Barnes caught it.

"You want me too," he whispered. "I'll make you admit it."

As the song neared its end, you were prepared to do whatever you had to do to get away from the bastard, the man who'd done so much damage to your family. As the last strains of the symphony ended, Barnes released you to bow. You did curtsy to him, then you straightened.

"I will never be yours." You meant it with every fibre of your being. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find my husband."

Barnes' grin didn't fade. "Better find a way to keep him safe."

You spun on your heel, marching off the dance floor. You needed air, and a moment to calm down. You were blinking back tears, you were that angry. You felt someone on your heels as you made you way out of the main event room out ornate glass doors left open. It was chilly out there but you welcomed it, fighting back anger.

"Are you okay?" Yelena asked, her hand at your back as you gripped the railing and hung on. 

"No, I'm not... o-fucking-kay," you said, trying to regain your composure. "He came out of nowhere."

"He did," Yelena said. "He got to you so quickly after you talked to the senator's wife."

"Where's Steve?" you asked.

"Talking very intently to the senator," she replied. "It appears to be going well."

You had to wonder if that would still be true once the senator's wife caught a moment to tell her husband and your little "talk."

But you had bigger problems right now. Barnes.

"Barnes is all healed up," you told her. Looking beyond her, you saw Scott by the entranceway back into the ball. "And he's got big plans."

"He wants you," Yelena said it. "That much was obvious. It gives me some idea of his plans."

You nodded. "Don't say anything to Steve or Scott right now. I just want to find a glass of champagne to take the edge off and get through the rest of the ball."

With any luck, you could maybe enjoy one more magical dance with Steve before the evening ended.

You couldn't, however, complain. You wanted to be in on the family business and this was part of it. Barnes, unfortunately, was also part of it.  And he'd just announced his intentions to you and you realized now it was the pit that had been in your stomach the entire evening. 

Barnes would keep tearing your life apart until he was stopped. Somehow between his drastic plans and the animosity between you and your husband, you'd found your way to a happy marriage. A path to be queen in this world. And you'd be damned if you let Barnes threaten that future.

"You're going to tell Steve, right?" 

"I am." You didn't miss the concern in Yelena's voice. "I'm telling all of you. But not here."

Nodding her agreement, Yelena watched as you straightened, steeled yourself to return to the event. 

"Let's find you a glass of champagne, boss," she said with a wink.

Boss? Now that put the smile back on your face. 

@valsworldofcreativity @21stcenturywitchcraft @coconutqueen21 @bval-1 @caffiend-queen @sadlittlecountess @candy-and-writing @capsicle-shield @chaoticfiretaconerd @chrisevansgirl @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @coldmuffinbanditshoe @daughterofthenight117 @hv-chw3 @iheartsebstan @imanuglywombat @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @justrae9903 @lokislastlove @mariaenchanted @maxwelllee2020 @nekoannie-chan @nerdwholikesword @notyourtypicalrose @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho @peaceinourtime82 @rainbowkisses31 @rayofdawnworld @richonne4life @rissysthoughts-blog @saiyanprincessswanie @scarletsoldier21-blog @shygirl-00 @supernaturaldean67 @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @team-iron-wannabe-man @titty-teetee @tonib666 @villanellev @vitamingummies @what-is-your-plan-today @what-is-your-wish @xoxabs88xox @rosalynshields @naturalthrone22 @marvelovernfan @gotnofucks @eralen @kawairinrin @bluemusickid @geminievans1 @daughterofthenight117 @sunmoonandbuckyrecs @jesevans @kandis-mom @salvatoreitmeanssaviour @kmc1989 @curiousandjoyous @marvelouslyme96 @patzammit

[historicity-was-already-taken]

I am posting and responding to this ask anonymously as I don't want anyone harassing its sender. This has already been communicated with the person who sent the ask.

I just want to thank you for being a light in the darkness of anti-semitism, especially on this website. I have found I am on this site a lot less ever since it was made clear that other leftists here are more anti-semitic than we ever knew possible, using very specific wording of our own trauma against us (i.e. saying stuff like "colonialism", "genocide/ethnic cleansing", and calling JEWISH PEOPLE Nazis). It feels like, at best, they know Hamas ≠ All or even most Palestinians, but think that they think all JEWS = Bibi; and at worst, agree with Hamas and think of him as some sort of "freedom fighter". So, thank you from one leftist Jew to another, just trying to keep afloat here. ❤️

You are very welcome; it's certainly been overwhelming, and I'm glad this can be a safe space for you.

I do want to push back on some of this ask, though. Specifically in regard to terms such as "colonialism," "apartheid," "genocide," and "ethnic cleansing."

The use of these terms is not inherently anti-Semitic. For a lot of people, these terms are the best ones they have access to describe what they are seeing. I do think such terms as “colonialism” and “apartheid” are overly simple in regard to the last ~3000 years of Jewish history, and that they cast the situation into an alien historical context which dilutes and uncomplicates the all the historical realities at stake, but I truly do not think that all who use these terms do so to cause Jewish people pain.

Further complicating the picture is that terms like "colonialism" aren’t completely wrong. Modern Zionism arose in the context of mid-nineteenth century European large-scale movements towards nationalism (ie, the creation of nation-states) and away from the multi-national empire. Jews—a subject of anti-Semitism and fifth columnist suspicions within those emergent European nations—reacted to all this by joining the nationalism game.

What’s ironic, is that those European Jews who founded contemporary Zionism were reacting to the exclusion and racial hatred with which Gentile Europeans treated them, and then once they had some settlements in Palestine, they deployed similar variants of racial hatred at both the Palestinian Arab population, and Middle Eastern Jewry.

The existence of a distinct people and ethnic group in Palestine before the aliyot were not something the first generation of Zionists were concerned with. Because they were part of the same shitty, white supremacist, pro-imperialistic intellectual European tradition to which they were responding as victimized parties. As time went on and Zionist thought spread across Ashkenazic communities, we can see some variants. Some forms of far-left Zionism in twentieth century Poland, for example, actively built the presence and rights of Palestinian Arabs into their ideology, some of them actively stating that Zionism could not be a success if it necessitated transforming Palestinian Arabs into a group of secondhand citizens and a cheap source of labor in their own home.

Those leftist strands of Zionism tended to be Socialist/Communist in nature, and centered around the idea of life in Eretz Yisrael as one of a series of self-sufficient communes. Thus when the 1930s hit and things start to go bad, the Zionists we see fleeing to Palestine tended to be of the more centrist and far right variants. The left wing, socialist movements, already operating as a collective, had a membership uncomfortable with fleeing to safety while the rest remained behind.

And that same socialist/communal attitude, is why those variants of Zionist thought never made it into the Israeli political mainstream; most of their members and proponents were murdered in the Holocaust in part because they refused to leave their comrades behind. The General Zionists and Zionist Revisionists who rode out the years of the Holocaust in Palestine therefore already had access to the avenues of power which would become important in 1948, when the British Empire shrugged off its responsibilities towards the regions it colonized and destabilized.

Now, as for ethnic cleansing. I can’t sugar-coat this: that’s what the Naqba was. It was ethnic cleansing of Palestinian Arabs from their homes to make way for the Jewish State. The manipulative shit (but still somehow extremely prestigious) youth group I was in taught us that Arabs call it Naqba because they hate Jews and therefore existence of Jews in the Southern Levant was a tragedy, as was the fact that Hitler didn't finish the job.

That’s garbage: it’s called the Naqba because it was ethnic cleansing. And that's not the fault of the Holocaust survivors who made their way to Mandatory Palestine/Israel in the late 1940s--they lacked political power, and were often looked down upon by those who did; the Holocaust as part of Israeli National Mythology wasn't an immediate Thing.

If you spent your formative years around older Jewish folks of A Certain Generation, whose trauma has pretty much placed a permanent block on their ability to see some of what went down in 1948 for what it was, I can’t blame you for having that gut/cognitive dissonance reaction to the use of “ethnic cleansing” in the context of Israel and Palestine. I know those older folks. I loved them. They’re mostly gone now, and I miss them terribly. But their trauma-induced view of everything lives on in the ability of some younger Jews to properly name and understand what it is that happened in 1948.

It was ethnic cleansing.

Further, not only were Palestinian Arabs ethnically cleansed, but the Middle Eastern and North African (MENA) Jews who were forced by their governments to flee their homes of thousands of years and seek refuge in Israel throughout the second half of the twentieth century…the Western and Central European Jews in control of Israel and its institutions treated them like shit too. Hadassah actively stole the babies of Yemeni Jews, told the parents that their children were dead, and rehomed them to Ashkenazic couples. There were death certificates. Members of the Ethiopian Jewish community were forcibly sterilized, and their ongoing treatment by the State is racist and generally atrocious. And this analysis of the relationship between the Israel State, MENA Jewish populations, and different Ashkenazic groups in Israel is horribly short and overly simple.

As for genocide. I honestly don’t know. I do know many people, who are very much not Anti-Semites, who are calling what’s happening in Gaza right now genocide; many of these people are also Jewish. I know many others who refer to the experiences of Palestinians between 1948 and now as a slow genocide. Many of these people are also actively not anti-Semites, and many of them are Jewish.

So these terms, as uncomfortable as they may feel for people within the very specific Jewish generational background I believe we share, are not deployed as anti-Semitic weapons. Nazi comparisons? Yes. Swastikas superimposed over the Star of David? Yes. Very specific hook-nosed Jewish caricatures in relation to Israelis? Yes. Blood libel shit? Yes. These are all anti-Semitic, and are deployed to hurt and retraumatize Jewish people. But the rest are not nearly that simple.

And I didn’t learn this from like, Bad Evil Post-Modern Academics at Columbia University Who Hate Jews; I learned this from doing graduate-level work in the field of Modern Jewish History, and working in Jewish archives; this did not come from outside the building.

Now, as for Hamas as freedom fighters…that’s ignorant at best. Hamas’ charter clearly calls for the global destruction of the Jewish people [ETA: they edited this part out in 2017 for PR purposes], and their actions as rulers are horrifically, violently, homophobic, and seem to be more abut provoking Israel than they are about governing and protecting their people. But as you said, Hamas isn’t all Palestinians, and it’s also not all Palestinians who consider themselves freedom fighters. (A second reader of mine had the following commentary on this paragraph: "Might need a bit more complication around Hamas? I know that's not your area of expertise but it's worth mentioning that they were basically set up to undermine the PLO and what would become the Palestinian Authority in the West Bank. You're right that they aren't representative of all Palestinian thought and resistance, and that they are on some fuck shit.")

So while I’m so glad that blog is a comfort to you, I encourage you to also take a step into some of your discomfort, and ask yourself where it comes from.

No one reading this post has my consent to use it to silence other Jewish people who are in different stages of their journey towards understanding how generational trauma has impacted their ability to grasp all of this. Further, if you choose to attack me for gently calling my people in, you're a piece of shit and I will be mean to you.

[my-castles-crumbling]

OMG Clandestine is done!

I am so so so excited to say I just posted the epilogue to Clandestine! Featuring a beautiful commission from @itslotuseater!

Ships: Jegulus, background wolfstar, dorlene, pandalily, rosekiller Rating: M Length: 142k (FINISHED! COMPLETED! AHH!)

Summary:

He was crying. “You can do that?” He repeated, feeling like he was in some sort of dream. And then, Sirius seemed to realize. Because for a twelve-year-old, he was decently smart, and knew him better than anyone. “D’you…d’you want to do that, Reggie? I thought…I thought it was just a game?” But he could only shake his head. Because it wasn't a game. He was a boy. And he could tell from Sirius's nervously resigned expression that Sirius knew it, too. "It's...not a game." --- There's not enough Trans Regulus Black, so here's a fic to help fix the problem. Rated mature for lots of references to transphobia and Walburga Black being a piece of shit. COMPLETED (I'm not crying, you are)

Ahhh, my long-winded thank-you note:

First and foremost, thank you to Arson, my amazing Alpha Reader who brainrotted with me throughout almost the entire process. I literally could not have finished this without you, and I am so thankful to have you in my life. You've helped me through so many cases of horrible Writer's Block, encouraged me whenever I needed it, and you're an amazing friend. I hope you love your "Barty and Evan's Bitch" shirt :D

Second, to my wife, who literally dealt with me talking about this fic for TEN MONTHS. You're literally the most amazing and supportive person in my life, and I love you more than words. Thank you for being the James to my Regulus.

Third, to my Beta Reader, Kat, who is still wading through the trenches of this fic finding all my mistakes. I am so glad to have you and thank you for dealing with all of my errors and answering my messages at odd hours of the night.

Fourth, to all of the people who have encouraged me: Abby, Danielle, Kelz, everyone on the discord servers who has seen me struggle, you guys are amazing and I am so thankful to you.

Fifth, to the lovely people who created fanart for this fic. You all are amazing and you brought this to life. I bow down to you, truly, you are so incredibly talented.

Sixth, to the people who I interviewed about dysphoria and being on T, so I could have a more well-rounded understanding about Regulus's experience. Though I identify as trans, I am so thankful that other trans people were willing to give their experiences in areas I wanted to describe as accurately as possible.

And last, to all of you, who read and kudosed and inboxed and recommended and commented and kept me going. You all are amazing, and you've made this such a positive experience. This fic really was for me, to work through my own gender an discover about myself, and I am so thankful you have been here along this journey.

I want to reiterate that this is one trans person's journey, but I think it's so important to have representation in all forms of media. I'm hoping that my version of Reggie has helped with that a little bit! He's my baby, and he deserves all the good things.

Keep an eye out for the B-sides of this fic! I'll add a chapter to this work linking to it, so if you're subscribed to this, you'll get an e-mail. I'll also be editing this work to fix all the errors, and I'll be doing the B-sides as I go. It probably won't be for a couple of weeks, since I am now working, and I won't have any strict posting schedule, but I'm excited for those as well!

I love you all. Thanks for being a part of this journey.

[anonymousewrites]

A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 1) Chapter Five

Kusuo Saiki x Reader

Chapter Five: Ramen Shops

Summary: Saiki goes to a ramen shop (he is dragged there by a bunch of bothers)

            “We still aren’t there yet?” asked Kaidou.

            He, Nendou, (Y/N), and Saiki were heading to a ramen shop that Nendou had heard about. Saiki had gotten roped in as usual. He wanted to get coffee jelly with (Y/N), but he instead was stuck with Nendou and Kaidou, too. He thought it couldn’t get worse than being with two of his bothers and missing out on coffee jelly, but he was proved wrong. (The world hated him and wanted to prove everything could always be worse).

            “Oh, Saiki? What’re you doing here?”

            There stood Teruhashi, glowing and sparkling as usual.

            “Oh!” squeaked Kaidou.

            “T-Teruhashi!” stammered Nendou.

            The boys blushed profusely as they looked at the perfect pretty girl.

            (Y/N) gave a friendly wave.

            “What’re you guys doing out together?” asked Teruhashi.

            “Well, Nendou said he knows a good ramen shop, so he’s taking us there,” said Kaidou, rushing through the sentences nervously.

            “That’s right! We’re headed there to pig ou—I mean, eat!” said Nendou.

            “It’s our first time checking it out,” added (Y/N).

            “Oh, ramen, huh?” remarked Teruhashi. She glanced over at Saiki. “If you don’t mind, can I come with you? Am I being a bit pushy?” She winked cutely.

            “W-Well, I don’t mind!” squeaked Kaidou.

            “It’d be great if you came!” said Nendou.

            “The more the merrier!” chirped (Y/N).

            Seriously? You, too? Saiki sighed.

            This is the perfect chance to get Saiki to say “Oh, wow” and stop paying so much attention to (L/N)! Sure, they’re not ugly, but I’m the person he should be paying attention to! I’m the perfect pretty girl! thought Teruhashi as they walked through the streets, gaining attention from passersby.

            “Is the shop this way?” she asked angelically, completely at odds with her aggressively competitive thoughts.

            “Ah, yes,” said Nendou rather formally.

            (Y/N) was laughing at their friends’ sudden transformations (excepting Saiki, of course).

            At least they’re enjoying themself. Saiki supposed one person enjoying themself was better than none, and although he’d rather be the one enjoying himself, he preferred when (Y/N) was happy. It was what they always should be.

            “Why, I didn’t expect you to eat ramen, Teruhashi,” said Nendou, a strangely gentlemanlike face on his face.

            Saiki was glad Nendou’s strange face could distract him from his own new thoughts.

            Teruhashi giggled. “Say, Kaidou.” She turned to the suddenly shy boy.

            “Y-Yes?!” he squeaked nervously.

            “Why do you always have bandages on your hands?” asked Teruhashi.

            “Oh, I do it so my powers won’t go out of control!” stammered Kaidou.

            “Powers…?” questioned Teruhashi. “Sorry, I can’t quite understand what you’re saying.”

            “Well, it just got like this! I don’t even know why!” Kaidou began unwinding his bandages while blushing heavily. “I’ll take them off!”

            (Y/N) caught the gauze, rolled it up, and put it in their pocket. “He’s probably gonna regret that once she’s gone,” they whispered to Saiki.

            So they notice that people act odd around Teruhashi. That means they probably are being genuinely nice to Teruhashi, not just being affected like everyone else. (Y/N)’s just a nice person. Saiki wasn’t surprised by that thought. (Y/N) was a genuinely good person. It was a reason he liked to be around them. Tolerated them. Put up with them. It all meant the same thing. (it did not).

            They’re so excited! But that’s just natural since they can have a meal with me, the prettiest girl in the world! thought Teruhashi. So why are they acting so calm?! Kunio Kunio! Why aren’t you saying “Oh, wow”? That should always be your reaction when you see me! And (L/N) (Wrong Name)! You don’t act differently at all! And Saiki always pays attention to you, even when I’m the perfect pretty girl! What could you possibly have that you don’t?!

            Yare yare. (Y/N) doesn’t bring attention to me or try to make me act differently. Saiki could just be himself.

            What makes so that a cool, mysterious guy like him that has a gaze who could look right through you… Teruhashi became lost in her fantasy.

            Saiki made a face.

            (Y/N) laughed. “That’s the most you’ve ever changed your expression!”

            Saiki schooled his expression. They were unfortunately quite observant, still.

            Oh, no! I take it all back! Even in her own mind, Teruhashi couldn’t allow herself to obsess over a boy. It all had to be about making him obsess over her. At any rate, I’ll use my charm to make him look at me instead of them and say “Oh, wow” today for sure!

            I’m attracting her attention. Saiki hadn’t gotten away from her at all.

            “Ah, we have arrived,” said Nendou. He pointed at a small restaurant. “This is the ramen shop.”

            “Wow, I’m hungry,” chirped Teruhashi. “Oh, wow.” She turned blank uncomfortably.

            “Whoa…” muttered (Y/N), making a face as they looked at the rundown shop.

            “I heard their ramen is crazy good,” said Nendou. “A relative of one of my friends’ dog walkers said so. It’ll be fine.”

            “So it’s a rumor…” said (Y/N). That’s never good.

            “Hey, don’t be stupid!” cried Kaidou. “There’s no way Teruhashi woulg go in a place like that! You don’t want to eat in a nasty restaurant like this, right, Teruhashi?!”

            “W-Well, I’m okay with it,” said Teruhashi blankly and begrudgingly.

            “A-Are you sure you’re okay with it?!” asked Kaidou.

            “Yeah, I’m fine with it,” lied Teruhashi.

            (Y/N) leaned over to Saiki and whispered, “Do you want to pretend we’re not hungry and go to Café Mami after this?”

            “Yes, but let’s go along with this for now,” said Saiki, but he was happy to acquiesce to (Y/N)’s idea. Sweet treats with someone he…fine, someone he enjoyed being around, sounded nice. Hopefully, this will dampen Teruhashi’s interest in me if she gets disgusted by where she thinks I hang out.

            (Y/N) grinned (slightly devilishly). “You’re enjoying this.”

            Saiki just looked at them. Yare yare. Too observant.

            “Well, a little bad luck builds character in people,” chirped (Y/N). “Besides…I trust you, Saiki. You’re not exactly going to revel in somebody being miserable. Anyways.” They waved their hand. “Teruhashi will probably head home afterwards and get offered some fancy food to make up for this. The others will be fine.” They turned away.

            Saiki blinked. Huh.

            The group walked into the shop. It was even grosser inside and completely empty.

            “What is this place?! This is beyond terrible!” said Kaidou. He looked at Teruhashi. “Hey, seriously, you don’t have to push yourself.”

            “I’ll be fine,” lied Teruhashi expertly, “What’s important is the taste.” She smiled angelically.

            They all sat down at a table.

            “Manager!” called Nendou. “Five ramens, please!”

            “Oh, no, thank you,” said (Y/N).

            “Oh, you’re not going to eat here?” asked Teruhashi.

            “I had a snack earlier today!” lied (Y/N), smiling brightly. “Plus, I forgot to bring money with me, and I don’t want to bother anyone today!”

            If they can lie this well, maybe I should worry about not being able to read their thoughts. Immediately after, Saiki dismissed that worry. (Y/N) had a good heart and was earnest as far as he knew. He could trust them.

            Not that that mattered in any way. It was just a thought.

            “Oh, alright, pinky, next time, then!” said Nendou.

            That’s how easy it is?! Maybe I should lie about having to leave… considered Teruhashi.

            Yes, please.

            No! I am the perfect pretty girl, not an average girl! I will persevere!

            The manager walked out. “Alright, four ramens coming up then.” He was extremely sweaty, balding, and unhealthily overweight. After fixing their dishes, he walked back over. “Here ya go.” He set the bowls down.

            The ramen smelled terrible and was spilling from cracks in the bowls. All in all, it looked uneatable. (Y/N) became even more glad that they made up an excuse. Their companions, who had not done anything to avoid this, all had rather nauseated faces.

            Teruhashi began to eat the ramen robotically. Clearly, she was forcing herself through this. Kaidou and Nendou watched in shock (neither saw that she was making herself do it).

            “I-I don’t think you should eat it,” stuttered Kaidou warningly.

            Teruhashi blinked.

            (Y/N) nodded. “That might be unsafe.” Sure, they were fine with some things not going Teruhashi’s way; it was something people had to learn to deal with in life (even perfect pretty girls). However, (Y/N) wasn’t mean. They wouldn’t willingly endanger someone’s health.

            “Hey, pops! Even pigs wouldn’t eat this stuff!” yelled Nendou.

            “Shut up! Then beat it!” shouted the manager.

            Quickly, the teenagers cleared out of the disgusting restaurant. As they walked away, poor Teruhashi clutched her stomach. Nendou and Kaidou tended to her sympathetically.

            The perfect girl, huh? Hmm…If she can go that far in order to play the perfect girl, maybe she already is perfect. Saiki’s eyes trailed over to (Y/N). Well, perfect for eight billion people. Other people are better for me.

            To spend time with, anyway.

            (Y/N) looked at Saiki. “Still want to go get coffee jelly?”

            “Yes.” Saiki didn’t even need to think about that answer.

            “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” Grinning, (Y/N) grabbed his wrist and pulled him behind them as they ran into an alley that led to another street. They left Nendou, Kaidou, and Teruhashi far behind.

            The perfect person. To hang out with. To just be with.

            Saiki was glad to smell Café Mami’s sweet treats baking as his thoughts spiraled.

            Finally, the pair stopped outside Café Mami. (Y/N) was panting but laughing. Saiki just watched them, slightly amused in his own way.

            “Let’s go in! I’m starving,” said (Y/N).

            In response, Saiki nodded. They grabbed a table in a corner so that anyone passing by wouldn’t notice them. (Y/N) knew he’d prefer the privacy. They ordered and quickly received coffee jelly. They both sighed contentedly as they took their first bite.

            After a time, (Y/N) looked up at Saiki. “So, what was that whole thing with Teruhashi earlier?” When they got no response, they sighed. “Come on, I know something was going on. You clearly didn’t like the look of that restaurant, and you admitted to testing her in a way. So, what was it all about?”

            “She brings attention to me when she hangs around. I think she wants me to say ‘Oh, wow’ since I don’t.” Saiki ensured his explanation was phrased as a theory. Otherwise, he risked outing himself as a psychic. (Y/N) was pretty happy-go-lucky but could make a connection from observations pretty easily. Saiki had to be careful. They showed common sense at all the wrong times.

            “So it’s the Teruhashi version of interest in a guy?” (Y/N) laughed. “I guess people always want what they can’t have.” Somehow, that statement made their heart clench, and they almost frowned but focused on Saiki again.

            Once again, their insight is correct. I want normalcy, something I can’t have. And I want… Saiki watched as (Y/N) happily continued to eat their coffee jelly. He felt comfortable and normal with them. He felt like he could be himself without fear of judgement (minus psychic abilities). You’re the only one I can admit is my friend, (Y/N).

Taglist:

@elaemae

@painstakingly-juno

@characterreaderwriter

@melovepurple

@sleep-7372

@w0mank1sser

@geminigengar

@noodleryworld

@leonardo-dabitchy

@janezee12751275

@xenop0p

@ex160-blog1

@futureittomainn

@boogiemansbitch

@dmitrytherat

@yuriisclumsy

@sixxze

@constellationguy

[apdreadful]

Eddie drops by Bucks place to watch the game, and Tommy answers the door shirtless. His hair is disheveled and there’s something that looks a lot like a bite on his pec.

Tommy looks amused and completely at ease as he steps back to let Eddie in.

Buck comes down the stairs looking flushed and kinda embarrassed. His lips kiss swollen and razor burn on his neck, the top button of his jeans popped open because he had to pull them on fast. And he picks up his shirt from where it was dropped (stripped off him) on the stairs and Tommy looks around for his and Buck finds it under the stairs and throws it to him.

Tommy asks Eddie if he wants a beer as he walks barefoot into the kitchen and opens the fridge pulling out three beers and setting them on the kitchen island before pulling on his shirt and discovers it’s actually Bucks shirt..stretched across his pecs and biceps. Eddie looks at Buck “Really?”

“I’m not going to complain” says Buck with wicked smile and a glint in his eye.

“Evan” Tommy draws out his name as he arches his brow.

“Maybe it’s up in the bedroom” he suggests.

Tommy gives Buck a kiss on his shoulder, and a swat on his ass as he heads upstairs to grab his shirt, his jeans are hanging really low on his hips and Bucks eyes follow him up the stairs before his eyes snap back to Eddie.

Who is barely holding back his laughter “You didn’t have to answer the door you know”

Buck’s blush deepens as he rubs the back of his head. “Sorry we didn’t realize what time it was”

“Obviously”

Buck walks into the kitchen, picks up two of the beers handing one to Eddie and leans back against the counter.

He looks at Eddie again who bursts into laughter.

Buck looks up at the ceiling “I will never hear the end of this, will I” with a deep sigh and a rueful shake of his head.

“Never” Eddie confirms with a smirk.

Buck takes a sip of his beer and shrugs like ‘what are ya gonna do..’

Eddie’s smile softens “You’re really happy aren’t you? Like really happy?”

Buck pauses… “Yeah man. I really am. It just feels different”

Eddie snorts.

Buck rolls his eyes “No I mean. Yeah” he lowers his voice “The sex is phenomenal”

“Didn’t need to know that”

Buck grins “It’s not that…” he searches for the right words “that he’s a man. Like that was some missing ingredient..” he pauses again before continuing “It’s like once I accepted the possibility that maybe what I was looking for, didn’t look the way I thought it would..All I could see was him”

Eddie nods “That’s incredibly sappy bro. But I am really happy for you both. You’re my best friend, my brother, and I’m glad you finally found somebody who deserves you”

Eddie holds out his bottle and Buck taps his against it with a contented smile and then purrs. “So tell me about your date..”

[mahoganyrust]

New follower here! I just started reading your fanfic about maybe two weeks ago, and I gotta say; I am invested. Your writing is so amazing and you do such a great job at describing characters and scenes. And you brought me back to my HiJack phase from years ago. Don't know if you still do art requests, but if you do I have a request. Since it's November and it's starting to get cooler, can you draw Hiccup and Jack going on an autumn evening walk together? Also, your art is awesome too. :)

Thank youuuuu! <3 I’m so glad ur enjoying FIMT eeeeeeee. And art requests are always open to anyone wondering, I’m not gonna turn away cool hijack ideas XD. If someone wants something bigger scale my comms are open too <3. ANYWAY YA I wassss gonna just do a sketch but then I was like nahhhh full renderrrrr letsgooo.

[mochinomnoms]

Lmao poor yuu being the mate of the twins you just woke up crazy stuff happened last night, and you are greeted by the twins in "Lets be productive with this" mode so even if you have the most confused look on your face the twins keep talking about wedding plans and please you just woke up too much information to analyze and come up with an answer to, they are so focused on "What are we going to do with the family introduction" that they forgot that you aren't someone that was raised with mer customs or traditions and maybe they should explain what is happening to you.. Maybe after breakfast you are still a bit cranky

-Vaquita (hkKkaksksmsuiaksbs domestic tweels hehe *blushes like a whore*)

dis u:

The twins are so strange to you sometimes. You like them a lot (like a lot, what's wrong with you), don't get it twisted, but they are weird. How you managed to make it out of their room and into Azul's office is a question within itself. Azul is looking up at you from his desk, fixing up a contact of some sort, with an unsurprised look on his face.

“Oh good, I take it the twins are also finally awake? Can you bring them over so we can discuss—”

“Azul, they're acting strange.”

The octomer blinked at you, raising a brow as if your statement as obvious.

“Okay?”

“Stranger than usual!” You opened the door behind you, peeking out before slamming it shut and covering it with your body.

“They woke me up with things about meeting their parents, about if they want to live on the surface or give me a transformation potion, and Floyd kept talking about wanting to be in charge of the wedding reception. What wedding is he talking about!?”

“Oh, they must have forgotten you wouldn't have known. Eelmers mate for life, and based on the sounds the entire dorm heard last night, the twins, err…mated with you.”

Azul cringed at the thought, shaking his head. “I've taken the liberty of writing an engagement contract for you three.”

“Huh?”

“Of course, Jade and Floyd will take a look through it, as well as Mr. Leech, or your new father-in-law, if I may say.”

“Wait a sec—”

“Don't worry, morays have a low divorce rate, but even then I've written you a solid prenuptial agreement in the case that one of them does something you don't like. This way, you'll be set for life if you have to go off on your own.”

“Hey! I didn't—oh actually that's really nice of you Azul, wait no! I didn't agree to any—”

The door slammed open as you removed your body weight to walk up to Azul's desk. You're positive that if they'd really wanted to, they could've mowed you down to open the door. But you're their mate now, so they have to take care of you!

“There's our little shrimp! I turned away to getcha another snack, and you managed to sneak away, come 'ere!”

You yelped as Floyd scooped you up in his arms and gave you a loud, wet smooch on the cheek, loose shirt hanging so that you could see the bite marks you left during the night. Jade was wearing more form fitting pajamas, but you could see in the way he cautiously shifted his back that the scratches you'd left on his back were still stinging.

“See Floyd? I told you they'd be with Azul, who looks like is working on a new contract. Am I safe to assume that's the marriage contract I asked you to work on last week?”

Jade kissed your other cheek and chuckled at Azul's deadpan face, the latter darting between you, Floyd and Jade as the twins cooed at your distress. Azul cleared his throat right as you opened your mouth to start cussing them out for acting weird(er).

“It's an engagement contact, actually, which now I'm glad I switched to, because I do believe your little mate there isn't aware of the commitment you've both bound them into. Maybe you three should go back to one of your rooms to discuss before they turn you down and leave you lonely and single forever.”

The twins blinked owlishly at you, then at Azul, and then back at you. You gave them an unamused glare. The two shared a look of worry before rushing back to their bedroom to explain and convince you why being their mate was a good idea (and to please accept them, they only want you).

(It took them nearly three hours of explaining and convincing you to accept the proposal for their anxiety to go down. To be honest, it only took them the first 5 minutes of explaining to make you want to stay as their mate, but you needed some petty revenge for the confusion they caused.)

[rpstartersinc]

* 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄.

feel free to change pronouns / wording!

— " one of these has to say what happened. " — " prepare to be detained! " — " i'm so glad you're here, which way's the exit? " — " we told you to never come back here. " — " why are we all yelling? " — " no need for violence. " — " thanks for the head start, do you want to give me another one? " — " alright, all clear. " — " i had to jump out of a window this time, almost died, it was wild. " — " i need a new best friend. " — " don't you want to choose your own path, do whatever you want? " — " your feelings get you in trouble. " — " i don't like how fast you answered that. " — " i'm sorry that i somehow gave you the impression that we're friends. " — " could you please exit the tunnel of death? " — " if i get fired because of you— " — " next time why don't you stop and think before you ruin someone's life. " — " my finger can transform, guess which one? " — " you know you were out of line. " — " aren't you tired of being treated like we're nothing? " — " i'm glad you were there with me to get punched in the face, it was fun. " — " humility and presence, that's leadership. " — " what if i kill you for waking me up. " — " don't be a glitch, this'll be totally be worth it. " — " it's time to show them we are more than meets the eye. " — " if we survive this, i'm going to kill you. " — " do not worry, you will be fixed up in no time. " — " i'm not talking to you. " — " i thought you weren't talking to me. " — " i am less mad at you. " — " please stop punching me in the face. " — " i'm gonna need you to talk less. " — " i think this is not right, we should go. " — " it's scanning for life forms, move, move! " — " a cave with teeth... nothing scary about that. " — " why shouldn't we? just walking into the scariest place i've ever seen in my entire life. " — " you deserved so much better than this end. " — " you have not been saved, you've been living a lie. " — " i swear, i will get you the rest. " — " every single day of my life has been a lie. " — " how could we have been so gullible? " — " you just had to do it, didn't you? " — " nothing bad happens when you stay on protocol. " — " you're never thinking about anything else, just yourself. " — " i want him to suffer and then to die in darkness. " — " how you choose to use that power is up to you. " — " i still think we have better odds fighting than outrunning them. " — " traitor. you are a disgrace. " — " you've been a little quiet... " — " i will never trust a so-called leader ever again. " — " are you spies? or just incompetent lackeys. " — " you think you can insult me and just walk away? " — " no one leaves here unless i say so. " — " this is the last time i show mercy. " — " i feel like someone dropped a cliff on me. " — " this is a disaster. " — " it's all my fault. " — " i'm better than you. " — " i'm better than you in every way except you have hope. " — " first time giving a pep talk? " — " you're inspiring. " — " why should we follow you? " — " i don't understand, why are we still alive? " — " i'm not kneeling in front of you. " — " you don't scare me. " — " i don't have anything left to lose. " — " what defines a transformer is not the cog in its chest, but the spark that resides in their core. " — " the truth is what i make it. " — " relax! i'm being very gentle! " — " it was already like that. " — " he took everything from us! " — " he deserves to die, can't you see that? " — " you need to move out of my way, before i move you myself. " — " i'm done saving you. " — " no more false prophets! " — " it's over. " — " it's over when every last one of his followers is dead. " — " we could've built the future together. " — " we were given the power to change our world and you chose to destroy it. " — " you betrayed me. " — " it didn't have to end this way. " — " the line between friend and enemy is not as clear as i once believed, once it's crossed, there's no going back. " — " i hear it's dangerous. " — " you watch my back, i'll promise to watch yours. " — " it's a long story, i'll fill you in later. "

[amirasainz]

Girl, your account is fucking amazing. Hear me out, Max x Reader, but make it 'Pride and Prejudice' style. Max as Mr Darcy is 🥵🥵🥵

Btw, will you do like a October/December challenge? Like Kinktober, smth like that? Would be amazing if you could girl💅

Here is the story. I hope you like it. For your question, I can definitely write some supernatural stories as well, but I will not be participating in the October challenge.

Kika is Readers' older sister in this story!!!

Enjoy reading and send some requests

-xoxo, Babygirl💋

Pride and Prejudice

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

YN Bennet had learned to appreciate this truth during her last visit to Pemberley, the seat of Mr. Max Verstappen. Since that visit, she had experienced a transformation in her opinions regarding him, which she had once deemed irreparable. His manners, though initially haughty, revealed depths of kindness and integrity that had slowly unfolded before her.

This particular day, she found herself in a carriage with her older sister, Kika, as they approached Pemberley once again. The sun shone brightly, and the countryside displayed its autumnal colours, creating a picturesque setting for their visit.

“YN, do you suppose we will see Mr. Verstappen again?” Kika inquired, her tone imbued with the sweetness of hope.

“I am not certain,” replied YN, glancing out of the carriage window. “It is likely he is engaged in his affairs. He is not one to be easily roused from his duties, I fear.”

“Yet, his behaviour at the last ball was so amiable. It is only just that he should wish to know how you fare,” Kika insisted, her eyes sparkling with optimism.

“Ah, Kika, you cannot expect me to indulge in such fancies,” YN replied with a light laugh. “Besides, it is hardly probable that he would feel any obligation to engage in further conversation with one such as myself.”

Kika was about to reply when the carriage halted at the grand entrance of Pemberley. They were greeted by the butler, who escorted them into the drawing room. The house was magnificent, with its vast windows allowing the sunlight to pour into the elegantly decorated room.

“Miss Gomes, Miss Gomes!” exclaimed Viktoria Verstappen, Mr. Verstappen's younger sister, rushing forward with a delighted expression. “How wonderful it is to see you again! I was afraid you would not come.”

“We are so pleased to be here, Miss Verstappen” said Kika, stepping forward to embrace her. “Your home is as splendid as ever!”

“I am glad you think so,” Viktoria replied, her cheeks flushed with pleasure. “I often feel that Pemberley is a place more suited for others’ enjoyment than my own. I wish to see it through the eyes of my guests.”

YN smiled. “You are too modest, Miss Verstappen. It is your hospitality that brings this place to life.”

“Indeed, if only Mr. Verstappen were as amiable,” YN said teasingly, her eyes sparkling.

“Mr. Verstappen has improved remarkably,” Viktoria replied, a note of defensiveness in her tone. “He is just as kind as he is proud. He has taken much to heart since your last visit.”

At that moment, the door opened, and Mr. Verstappen entered the room. His presence was commanding, yet YN felt an unexpected rush of warmth towards him.

“Miss Gomes,” he said, inclining his head slightly. “I am pleased to see you again.”

“Mr. Verstappen,” she replied, her voice steady despite the flutter in her chest. “Thank you for your kind welcome.”

Max glanced at Kika and Viktoria, who exchanged glances that spoke of mutual encouragement. “I hope you will not find Pemberley lacking in your expectations,” he said, stepping closer. “Viktoria has been quite eager to show you around the estate.”

“I am sure it will surpass all expectations,” YN said, attempting to remain composed.

“Come, let us take a stroll in the gardens,” Viktoria suggested, her enthusiasm infectious. “The flowers are in full bloom, and you will surely find them delightful.”

As they wandered outside, YN could feel Max’s presence beside her, and she dared to cast a sidelong glance at him. He looked thoughtful, as though he were carefully considering his words.

“Miss Gomes ” he began, hesitantly, “I hope you are well. I have often recalled our conversations, particularly the discussions of character and judgment.”

“Indeed,” YN replied, her heart racing. “I have also reflected upon those discussions. They were enlightening, though at the time, I was less than gracious in my opinions.”

Max’s brow furrowed slightly. “I would not have you blame yourself. I was often blind to the worth of others, a fault I have since endeavoured to correct.”

“Your self-awareness speaks well of you, Mr. Verstappen,” YN remarked, emboldened by their mutual honesty. “It is easy to hold prejudices against one another, but it takes courage to acknowledge them.”

“You are more forgiving than I deserve,” he replied earnestly. “I acted wrongly towards your family, and for that, I am truly sorry.”

“I cannot deny that your actions have caused some distress,” she admitted, “but I have come to understand that we are all susceptible to misjudgments. What matters is how we choose to rectify those misjudgments.”

Viktoria, noticing the exchange, interjected with a bright smile. “Let us speak of lighter matters! There is a new rose garden that I am sure you will admire, YN.”

As they walked, YN felt her heart soften towards Max. His sincerity had altered her perception of him, and as she observed him interact with Viktoria, a different side of him began to reveal itself.

“Mr. Verstappen,” YN said, “I have been meaning to ask you. How did you come to cultivate such a beautiful garden?”

“It was a labour of love,” Max replied, his eyes lighting up at the topic. “I have always believed that nature possesses an undeniable charm, and it brings me peace to create and care for these gardens.”

“Your care is evident,” YN said with genuine appreciation. “It is as though the garden reflects your own character—bold and yet harmonious.”

“Bold, you say?” Max raised an eyebrow, a slight smirk playing at his lips. “I shall have to consider how that reflects upon my nature.”

Viktoria laughed, breaking the tension. “You see, YN? Even Max can be teased.”

“Do not let it go to your head, sir,” YN added playfully. “I would not wish for you to become too proud of your talents.”

Max chuckled softly. “I assure you, Miss Gomes, I remain acutely aware of my limitations.”

As they continued their stroll, YN felt an ease between them, a newfound understanding. Their previous encounters had been marred by misunderstandings, but now, in the serenity of Pemberley’s gardens, the air felt charged with a different kind of energy.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

Later that evening, as they gathered for dinner, the atmosphere was lively. Mr. Gasly, Kika's affable suitor, joined them, bringing an air of lightheartedness.

“Miss YN, do you recall that debate we had over the merits of love versus fortune?” Pierre asked, laughter in his eyes.

“I do, and I recall you were quite stubborn in your insistence that love would conquer all,” YN replied, smiling. “But I wonder if that sentiment holds true when faced with the pressures of society?”

“Ah, but that is where you are mistaken,” Pierre retorted. “Love can flourish even in the most challenging of circumstances. It is the heart that must lead, not the purse.”

Max observed the exchange with an amused expression. “It seems you are advocating for impracticality, Gasly. One cannot live on love alone. There are far more pressing matters to consider—such as the ability to support oneself.”

“True enough,” Kika interjected, her eyes sparkling. “But surely a balance can be struck. Love can enhance one’s fortune, after all.”

“And what if fortune enhances love?” Max queried, raising an eyebrow. “Is it not a worthy consideration?”

YN seized the opportunity to tease him. “Ah, Mr. Verstappen, you would argue the rationality of the heart! How very unlike a gentleman of your stature.”

“You mistake my intentions, Miss Gomes,” he said, a wry smile forming on his lips. “I seek only to understand how best to ensure my sister’s happiness. It is not always about the heart.”

“Then we shall find a heart to accompany the fortune,” Pierre declared with a jovial laugh. “If that is the case, I shall be in need of a fortune myself!”

As the evening wore on, YN felt her spirits lifted. The repartee flowed easily among them, and she found herself increasingly drawn to Max’s intellect and depth.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

Later, as they stood on the terrace overlooking the grounds, YN turned to Max. “Mr. Verstappen, I must confess. You have surprised me with your amiability this evening.”

Max smiled, his expression sincere. “I am pleased to hear it, Miss Gomes. I hope to continue to surprise you.”

“You have certainly accomplished that,” she replied, her heart fluttering. “And I believe you have more depth than you allow others to see.”

“Perhaps,” he admitted, “but I am learning the value of opening oneself to those who show understanding. I admire your wit and wisdom, YN.”

“Then let us continue to cultivate our understanding of one another,” she suggested, her eyes sparkling. “I would enjoy more discussions such as this.”

Max nodded, his gaze steady. “I would like that very much.”

As they exchanged smiles, a subtle bond began to weave itself between

[siremasterlawrence]

Fairy Tale: The Nerd & The Himbo

My best friend his name is Chris Carmack he is visiting me at my house after living away for a year and after because he isso glad to see me as he comes in with that overly sized white body.My god he is so massively built like a tank I always wanted to covet him for the long term, actually for life because he is so darn fucking hot and I walk in to the kitchen to get us both a drink.

As he talks for a bit I turn my back digging in to my pocket reaching for a two packets of various crushed pills, I undo them slipping them in to a can of soda as I seal the can back up shaking it intensely.It is to my delight to see him open it quickly as it burst in to the air spilling all over him as he begins to crack up in a fit of laughter at himself and of course unfortunately for him he is left at a stand still unable to calm his own self back to reality.

“How embarrassing for me huh? Too funny “

“You seem light hearted?”

“Do I? Hahaha “

“Here goes nothing “

“What? Haha”

“Take off your clothes! You are soaking wet”

“Yeah! You are correct! Duh!”

“No duh! Obviously! You don’t need them and put them in the wash”

“Thanks man! I must be high or something “

“Or something”

“Did you say something?”

“Hurry up!”

“Sure motherfucker”

“How well do you know me?”

“We are best friends”

“True! Well! I am a dominant “

“I am a Hypnotist”

“I am super hot!”

“Well bro! Why are you reminding me?”

“Stating facts”

“You bro! You are my nerd”

“then submit to me and be mine “

“Naturally! I want to do as you say”

“Those pills do wonders! I am glad I did not give up on them “

“How may I be of use?”

“Put these glasses on and these headphones on”

“Yes bro! What ffffoooorrrr”

I am fully dedicated to taking advantage of him because according to every damn guy and girl except for the weird exceptions I am not good enough and yes is it cruel totally but whatever. I sly walk to the side do my long length side mirror across the room guiding him to follow me, be at my side as he does so effortlessly his body is towering over my with his godly physique.

His mind could never match mine at all due to his self a battle do wills could ensue if I let it but I won’t ever let him go free even again he mind now and soon he will always have been mine.No questions asked! He stares blankly in to the mirror awaiting my commands I smirk a bit admiring his body as I take my time to be able to decipher what is possible and it is not like he cares.

“Ok Chris! Are you ready for your ultimate transformation?”

“Into what bro?”

“It’s Master Lawrence “

“Sir Yes Master Lawrence Sir”

“SLEEP”

“YES”

“I want you cum what’s left of my best friend out”

“On my orders”

“Yes Master”

“You will cum when you wake up”

“Yes Master…”

“Wake up “

“Ooooohhhhh”

“Uuuuuuggggghhhh”

“Aaaaahhhhhh”

“Ffffuuuuuccccckkkkk”

“Yes yes yes”

“Yyyyyeeeesssss”

“Mmmmmmpppphhhh”

“WOAH!”

“Hey Master”

“I am not confused”

“Let me know “

“Did we use to be friends?”

“Can I be your pool boi?”

“Yeah jump in”

“Hell yes!”

“Woohoo”

“God! I feel…I feel”

“Free”

“And?”

“Alive”

“Happy “

“You took it out of my mouth “

“Literally “

“I knew we were close “

“Yes we use to be “

“I don’t understand”

“I forced this on you “

“Did you hypnotize me?”

“You are kidding “

“I thought!”

“I am sorry “

“For what?”

“I am confused now”

“I love you “

“Because I made you “

“You also helped me see the light “

“Well that is a non intended benefit”

“I was rigid “

“Awful! Kind of”

“I get it! I was a…”

“A asshole “

“A jerk “

“You saved me”

“You are my man “

“My light and my life”

The end

[ashessonfire]

im going livid over civilian wife with kaz!!! i would love to read more of soft and domestic life with kaz, it doesnt have to be anything big just fluff crumbs^^

'Sunrise' - Kaz Brekker x Reader

Prompt : Kaz and his partner wish to take in the early morning sunrise at the local market. But can the pair escape the curiosity of the crows?

- Pairing :Kaz Brekker x Reader (gender neutral) - Warnings : Literally none just fluff, threatening Kaz? But he doesn't really mean it :))

A/N : Thank you for such a cute prompt! I hope I have done the idea justice, it took such a long time to put this together after months of studying and not writing at all... But I am so glad to be back and I am working through the requests I have right now! Please continue to send in requests, I love you all!! <333

click here for masterlist

click here for characters I write for

════ ∘◦ᵒ 𓅓 ᵒ◦∘ ════

A gentle breeze fluttered through the rippling curtains, parting them just enough to allow streams of early sunlight to illuminate your lover's features. Kaz's gentle breathing and almost peaceful expression sent a wave of warmth through your chest, directly into your heart. Who knew the deadliest criminal in Ketterdam could find solace in a cozy bed, surrounded by the melodies of bird song?

Shifting your gaze downwards, you noticed that during the night Kaz had intertwined your fingers with his own, holding them gentle prisoners within his hardened, calloused hands. Lightly brushing a stray ebony lock from his porcelain skin, your eyeline was drawn to the glittering colours now covering the walls of your shared bedroom. The sun was seemingly painting your pale home with hues of sunrise, leaving within you a deep sense of longing for more.

Tenderly brushing your free hand over Kaz's shoulder, you watched as his lashes began to flutter, before a pair of deep chestnut eyes caught your own. After many years of slowly lowering the walls that towered over his heart, you had watched the defence slip from him, with each day gradually healing the cracks.

After few moments of basking in eachother's presence, Kaz rose, gazing towards the sunrise you had previously been admiring. Taking in the sublime feeling the new day gave him, the fingers wrapped around your own tightened. "It's Sunday," a gravelly voice softly announced, "You must want to drag me to the market"

Smiling gingerly at his feigned annoyance, you placed a gentle kiss to his temple in reply, before slipping out of bed to ready yourself for the trip. Throughout most of Kaz's life, each day had brought new challenges, with the Barrel constantly presenting treacherous threats and difficulties, leaving little time for anything else but heightened apprehension.

Since meeting you however, Kaz had learned the importance of routine, as well as quiet. The ocean that usually drowned him with perilous swells transformed into a flow of gentle waves, lapping peacefully against a shore, rather than aiming to violently drag him under. Although hesitant at first, the bastard had learnt to adore your domestic routines, fetching fresh flowers for the vases on Monday's, having tea after a dreg meeting on Thursday's, and his discrete favourite of them all, the market every Sunday.

As you noted the list of items you were searching for, Kaz stood by the entrance to your home, gaze softening each time your brows furrowed as you attempted to decipher what you had missed off. Opening the door with a soft click, you grabbed onto his gloved hand as you practically dragged him out of the door, leaving Kaz with an amused but warm expression as he allowed you to sweep him away.

════ ∘◦ᵒ 𓅓 ᵒ◦∘ ════

"Where do you reckon he goes every week?" a voice mumbled through a mouthful of pancakes, barely audible as Nina continued to eat her breakfast. Collectively the crows shrugged and shared parallel voicings of uncertainty.

"What is there to do on a Sunday, I mean that's like the least exciting day of them all?" Jesper thought aloud, sprawling carelessly against the seat he and Wylan shared. After a short period of quiet discussion, a figure slid down the stairs, clutching a neatly folded note in one hand.

Emerging from the shadowed stairwell, Inej returned to the group, causing gasps and a dramatic jolt from Jesper, each one completely unaware that she had slipped away during their chatter. "Here," she announced, an amused tone evidently lacing her voice, with the mischievous twinkle in her eye not going unmissed by the group.

Snatching the note from Inej, Jesper hastily unfolded the paper, smoothing the creases with his slender fingers. The group watched in anticipation as Jesper's eyes scanned the words, visibly astounding the sharpshooter. As he concluded his reading, his eyes glimmered with the same playfulness as Inej, the corners of his lips curling into a smirk.

"Well?" Nina announced, shooting an expectant look at Jesper, "Are you going to tell the rest of us what's in there or not?"

Clearing his throat theatrically, Jesper tilted his head upwards, "It seems we know where our beloved boss disappears to every week," pausing to increase the apprehension.

"Hurry up," Wylan complained, trying desperately to peer into the note as Jesper clutched it to his chest. "Okay, okay! It turns out that Mr Brekker enjoys a spot of early morning shopping, and hopes to 'catch the rising sun' before he does so," the sharpshooter exclaims, quoting Kaz's letter, holding in his laughter.

"You're saying that Kaz Brekker spends his free time buying flowers and pastries, not scheming the deaths of everyone in Ketterdam?" Nina all but chokes out in shock, her breathing heavy as she fights the laughter that already wracks her shoulders.

Through a sheepish smile, Wylan softly adds, "How do we know that its true? I can't imagine Kaz ever doing, well, that."

"I mean, there's only one way to find out, right?" Jesper announces, rising to his feet with a mischievous grin plastered onto his features

════ ∘◦ᵒ 𓅓 ᵒ◦∘ ════

"Where would you like to go first?" Kaz's voice directed itself towards you, carrying over the bustle of the market, despite the orange hue still lingering over the city. "You know exactly where," you tease, tightening the grip on his little finger with your own, tethering you to him so neither of you were seperated

Leading you through the crowd with his towering frame, Kaz effortlessly guided you to the secluded section of the market, feet automatically taking him to your favourite fruit stall. "Morning Mr Brekker, the usual for you two?" called the welcoming voice of the owner, already selecting the ripest items for his most favoured customers.

The pair of you were beloved among the merchants, with your compassionate nature drawing everyone to you, and your boyfriend offering substantial tips to those you liked best. Although directly contrasting in character, you complemented each other's qualities deeply, creating a sincere connection between you.

Allowing the sea breeze to lightly brush his skin, he focused his entire attention on you, admiring the gentle flow of words that poured from your delicate lips. Kaz basked in the warmth you provided him, your mere presence grounding him, sheltering him from harm with your sentiment.

Your words transformed into a melody to his ears as your voice sung above the low noise of the market, directly into his chest, rendering him unable to look away from your angelic profile. You halted your steps as you looked out into the harbor, pretending to ignore the fact that Kaz could not take his admiring gaze from you.

In his eyes, you seemed ethereal in this moment, the sea-breeze wisping your hair around you, the sunrise's final pallete showering you in a rosy light, orange and pink dancing off of your features. Kaz ignored the thoughts that these observations were weak, or dangerous, instead reminding himself of your reassurance that he can remain the most deadly man in Ketterdam, as well as finding peace.

The edges of his mouth were just beginning to lightly tilt upwards, when a loud thump sounded behind them, seemingly a crate had just fallen. Returning to his content state, Kaz was just about to forget the sound until a familiar "Ow, that hurt!" whispered nearby.

Whipping his head round at an astounding rate, Kaz just caught the flash of an emerald jacket slipping behind a cluster of rotting oak barrels, the tip of a scuffed shoe protruding from the other end of the stack.

"Everything okay love," you inquired, resting your free hand on his arm as your gaze shifted to where Kaz's previously held. "I was just concerned that the bakers would run out of your favourite pastries, it's busy today," Kaz observed, his tone indicating his lie to you, however he gently began to tug you in the direction of the stall, and you gladly obliged.

════ ∘◦ᵒ 𓅓 ᵒ◦∘ ════

"Saints, that was a close one," Jesper breathed out, releasing the breath he had withheld since he knocked over the crate, directly onto Nina's foot. "He almost caught us thanks to you, we would all be dead by now if Inej hadn't pulled you back in time"

"Well, it seems as if the letter was right, Kaz really does spend his weekends shopping," Inej stated, amusement striking through her tone. "Have any of you ever seen him so calm? It's nice to know he has a human side to him too," Wylan pointed out, as they all began to discuss their findings.

"What do you think he would have done to us if he found us?" Jesper questioned, smirking proudly at the group's evasion of their leader, "It's Kaz so, I guess we would all be..."

"Dead," sounded a sharp voice from behind the group, a resounding thump following as hard metal struck the cobblestone street.

The group's hilarity quickly morphed into alarm, each crow swiftly turning to meet the unwavering threat in their boss' gaze. "It seems as if Inej is the only one of you with any sense," Kaz observed.

"What? She was the one who," Jesper began before sensing the absence of the Wraith beside him, not even the wind carrying a trace of her previous presence. Breathing out of a puff of exasperation, Jesper let out a defeated "Well then."

"Do any of you care to enlighten me as to why you are here? It seems as if you've been spying on me during my free time. I sincerely hope that I will stand corrected," Kaz demanded, a calm yet dangerous tone commanding his words.

Despite the thrum of conversation drifting through the market, a rigid silence settled between the group, each one glancing fearfully at each other in the hope that someone would get them out of this.

However unlikely that seemed.

"Well, I must be correct then," Kaz sliced through the growing tension, "I'm sure a detailed meeting this evening at the Crow Club is needed, however I will tell you this now," Kaz practically seethed, cane tightening beneath his grasp.

Taking a daunting stride towards them, his eyes narrowed, a snarl making its way to his features, a sight that was never usually reserved for his friends. However, the group highly doubted he would take this lightly.

"You are all going to go quietly, and immediately back to the slat. If I even sense you are still here, you will discover why so many people in this city are struck with terror at the thought of me. Understand?" Kaz warned, voice laced with threat, lowering with each syllable as he attempted to control his fury.

Hurried sounds of 'yes boss', 'of course', 'it won't happen again', overlapped with each other as the crows struggled to hastily comply with Kaz's command. They watched in complete stillness as their boss turned sharply, hastily limping back into the crowded streets, his black attire eventually lost to the waves of people.

Muffled laughter suddenly rang out behind the group, who turned in fright to find a rosy faced Inej, hand clasped tightly over her mouth in an attempt to stifle the giggles escaping from her. "Did you," Inej began before more laughter interrupted her speech, "Did you see his face? He was blushing, I never thought I would see the day. He was mortified!" She finished, breathless as her bright amusement continued.

"Blushing? Are you joking Inej, he literally threatened to kill us!" Jesper started incredulously, "Nobody else saw this supposed blush did they?"

"He did look a little red..." Wylan began, voice trembling, with nerves or laughter, not even he himself could tell. "Well, I think that's enough to satisfy our curiosity for one day," Jesper states, "Come on then, lets go before he finds we're still here. I don't even want to begin to imagine..." he trailed off, giving off an exaggerated shiver before heading in the direction they came from.

"Uhm, hello? Are you guys coming?" Jesper questioned, turning back to find the group staring back out through the crates, completely ignoring the pleas of the sharpshooter to leave.

"Look," Wylan whispered, softly grabbing the edge of Jesper's sleeve and pulling him towards himself. Glancing through the crooked panel of a barrel, Jesper's gaze led him to realize what had ensnared the attention of the crows. Standing close to where they were originally spotted, Kaz had regained his lover's company, as you stood with baked goods piled high in your grasp.

The crows observed in shock as Kaz slowly leaned down, placing a delicate kiss to your lips, capturing them in his own for a brief few moments. The embarrassment of being caught in such vulnerability by his friends had slipped away, his mind captured once again by your aura, allowing your tender smile to bathe him in warmth.

"Are you sure you're alright love?" you utter, lashes fluttering as you take in his lighthearted expression, allowing him to slip a few of your bags onto his free arm, relieving the weight you had previously been hauling. "I'm fine," he states, again not completely truthful, however his demeanor didn't indicate any true discomfort.

"I think we should go to the florists, the one over that way," Kaz offered, nodding his head in the opposite direction of your usual path. Kaz prayed you would go along with his plan, knowing doubtlessly that his crows were still lurking somewhere amongst the crowds.

"Okay, lets go," you chirped, flashing a radiant smile towards him before linking your arm with his, uncaring that your bags swung against each other's due to the close proximity. Now, Kaz was the enthusiastic one, pulling you hastily through the crowds to evade the observing eyes of his friends.

As Kaz once again drowned out everything but your melodious voice, he began to feel grateful his crows had seen the pair of you together. You truly were his greatest achievement, and his embarrassment melted into pride, knowing deep down that he was deserving of your love and affection, and that was all that mattered.

════ ∘◦ᵒ 𓅓 ᵒ◦∘ ════

Kaz Brekker tag list : @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @ell0ra-br3kk3r @swhisperer @sleepynightchild @atlasiiae @kaiinohh @sannunah28 @at-the-chateau @withbeautyandragendrage @animalistic00 @whos6claire @any-corrie @daisydark @shara-ne @xxinvisiblexx @ldhpeter @viperinferno @kozbtchx (please comment if you would like to be added to the Kaz Brekker taglist)

[momospetdog]

Garden of New Beginnings

Gardener!Hirai Momo x F!reader

warnings: fluff, js them checking each other out..? (idk honestly)

a/n: this is my first fic. plz bear with me

The moving truck rumbled down the quiet suburban street, finally stopping in front of a charming two-story house with a wraparound porch. The early morning sun cast a warm glow on the neighborhood, birds chirping as they flitted from tree to tree.

Hirai Momo, a beautiful and well-built gardener, was hard at work in her front yard. Her tanned muscles glistened slightly with sweat as she dug into the rich soil, planting vibrant flowers that added a splash of color to the neatly kept lawn. She paused to wipe her brow, glancing up just as the truck doors swung open.

You stepped out, stretching your back after the long drive. You looked around, taking in your new surroundings with a mix of excitement and apprehension.

The sun had reached its zenith by the time you finished unpacking the essentials in your new home. As you arranged some books on a shelf, a soft knock on the door drew your attention. You walked over and opened it to find a woman standing there, a potted plant in her hands and a friendly smile on her face.

“Hey, I’m Momo, your neighbor. I thought I’d bring you a little welcome gift,” Momo said, holding out the plant. “This is a peace lily. It’s pretty low maintenance and perfect for indoors”

You smiled warmly, your eyes flicking to Momo's sweaty neck and the messy bun that barely contained her hair. She accepted the plant gratefully. “Thank you so much, Momo! It's beautiful. By the way, nice to meet you Momo, I’m Y/N”

You smiled warmly, your eyes flicking to Momo's noticing how hard Momo had been working, you felt a sudden urge to reciprocate the gesture. “Would you like to come in? I made some of our specialty if you’re interested”

Momo’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Sure, that sounds great”

You led Momo into the kitchen, where a delicious aroma filled the air. You plated some of your homemade food and handed it to Momo, who took a bite and immediately closed her eyes in appreciation.

“Wow, this is amazing!” Momo exclaimed. You chuckled, a bit bashful. “It's a family recipe for chicken curry. I’m glad you like it”

As both of you ate, you chatted about the neighborhood and your background. Eventually, you brought up what had been on your mind since the morning.

“By the way, Momo, I saw you working in your front yard earlier. Are you a gardener by profession?”

Momo nodded, swallowing a bite of food before she answered. “Yeah, I am. I run my own gardening business. I love transforming outdoor spaces”

Your eyes lit up with excitement. “That’s perfect! I was hoping to landscape my garden, but I have no idea where to start. Would you be willing to help me with it?”

Momo’s smile widened. “I’d love to. We can start planning it out whenever you’re ready”

You felt a wave of relief and gratitude. "Thank you so much, Momo. I appreciate it. And maybe we could start tomorrow?”

Momo waved her hand dismissively. "It's no problem at all. Yes sure we can. Maybe I could check your garden so I could get an idea?”

You nodded eagerly. “That sounds great. Let me show you the backyard”

You led Momo through the back door and into the garden, which was a blank slate of overgrown grass and a few scraggly bushes. Momo’s eyes lit up as she surveyed the area, her mind brimming with ideas.

“This place has a lot of potential,” Momo said, stepping forward to examine the soil. “We can do so much with it. Do you have any particular ideas or themes in mind?”

You shrugged, feeling slightly embarrassed by your lack of knowledge. “Honestly, I just want something that looks nice and is easy to maintain. I love flowers, though, and maybe a small vegetable patch?”

Momo nodded thoughtfully. “Flowers are a great idea, and a vegetable patch can be quite rewarding. We could do a mix of perennials and annuals for color throughout the seasons, and I can suggest some low-maintenance plants that thrive in this climate”

“That sounds perfect,” You said, feeling more confident. “What do you think about adding a small seating area? I’d love a place to relax and maybe have friends over”

“Absolutely,” Momo agreed, her enthusiasm contagious. “A cozy seating area would be perfect. We could use some natural materials to keep it in harmony with the garden’s look. Maybe a small patio with a pergola covered in climbing plants?”

Your eyes widened with excitement. “I love that idea! You really know your stuff, Momo” Momo chuckled. “It’s what I do. Let’s sit down and sketch out a rough plan”

You both moved to the kitchen table, where Momo pulled out a small notepad and a pencil. She began to sketch, explaining her ideas as she went along. You watched in awe as the garden of your dreams took shape on the paper.

After an hour of planning and discussion, you and Momo had a solid outline for the garden.

Momo smiled warmly. “We can make a trip to the garden center tomorrow to pick up some supplies and get started right away”

You nodded, “Thank you so much, Momo”

“It’s my pleasure, Y/N,” Momo replied. “I’m looking forward to seeing this place transform and spending more time with you”

“Spending more time with me?” you blushed softly, your cheeks warming at the thought. You quickly looked away, hoping Momo hadn’t noticed.

Momo chuckled softly, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “Yes, you seem like good company. And besides, working on this garden together will be fun”

You felt a flutter in your chest, a mixture of excitement and nervousness.

As the sun began to set, casting a golden glow over the neighborhood, you and Momo continued to talk about your plans for the garden. The conversation flowed easily, filled with laughter, and shared ideas.

When Momo finally stood to leave, you walked her to the door. “Thanks again for everything today, Momo. I’m really looking forward to tomorrow”

“Me too,” Momo said with a genuine smile. “Get a good night’s rest. We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us”

The next morning, the sun was shining brightly as you finished your breakfast and got ready for the day. You felt a mix of excitement and nerves, eager to start the garden project with Momo. As you were tying your shoes, a knock at the door made your heart skip a beat.

Opening the door, you found Momo standing there with a cheerful smile, dressed casually in a tank top with a flannel wrapped around her waist that highlighted her toned arms and a pair of baggy pants “Ready to go, Y/N?” Momo asked “Absolutely,” you replied.

Momo drove to the local garden center, chatting easily about plans. When you arrived, Momo led the way through the rows of plants and supplies, her enthusiasm evident as she pointed out various options.

“This place is amazing,” you said, looking around in awe at the vast selection of flowers, shrubs, and gardening tools.

Momo nodded. “It is. Let’s start with the basics. We need some good soil, compost, and a variety of plants that will thrive in your yard”

As you filled the cart, Momo explained the benefits of different plants, offering suggestions for color schemes and layout designs. You listened intently, appreciating Momo’s expertise.

“I never realized there was so much to consider,” you admitted. “I’m glad you're here to guide me”

“That’s what I’m here for," Momo said with a grin. “Plus, this is the fun part—choosing the plants and imagining how it will all come together”

You spent the next couple of hours selecting everything you needed, from vibrant flowers to sturdy garden tools. By the time you reached the checkout, the cart was overflowing.

“Looks like we’re ready to get started,” Momo said, helping you load the purchases into the car.

As Momo drove back to your house, the excitement was palpable. Once you arrived, Momo immediately got to work, unloading the car and setting up their supplies in the backyard.

“Alright, let’s start by preparing the soil,” Momo instructed, handing you a shovel. “We’ll need to clear out any weeds and mix in the compost”

At one point, Momo effortlessly lifted a heavy bag of soil, her muscles flexing as she carried it across the yard. You couldn’t help but admire Momo’s strength, your gaze lingering on the defined muscles in Momo’s arms and shoulders. You quickly averted your eyes, hoping Momo hadn’t noticed you staring.

But Momo did notice. She caught your quick glance and felt a warm satisfaction. She smiled to herself, enjoying the subtle attention.

After setting down the bag, You turned to Momo. “Hey, before we get too deep into this, would you like to have a snack? My mom came over while we were away and made some lemonade and baked cookies this morning”

Momo’s eyes lit up at the mention of cookies. “That sounds perfect. A little break would be nice before we dive back in.”

You made your way to the kitchen, where you quickly prepared a tray with two glasses of lemonade and a plate of freshly baked cookies. You both settled at the kitchen table, the refreshing coolness of the drinks and the sweet aroma of the cookies creating a relaxing atmosphere.

“These cookies are amazing,” Momo said, taking a bite. “So,” you said, finishing your cookie, “what’s next on our gardening agenda?”

“Well,” Momo replied, leaning back in her chair, “we still need to prep the soil and start planting the flowers. After that, we can work on setting up the vegetable patch”

You nodded, feeling more confident with Momo’s guidance. “Sounds good. Let’s get back to it”

You returned to the garden, energized and ready to continue. Momo resumed lifting heavy tools and bags, each time drawing a glance from you. You found yourself captivated by Momo’s effortless strength and the way her muscles moved beneath her skin. Momo, aware of the attention, felt a thrill run through her but kept her thoughts to herself, focusing on the task at hand.

“Do you need any help with that?” you offered, trying to be useful. “Sure, you can grab that smaller bag over there,” Momo replied, pointing to a bag of compost. As you bent down to lift it, Momo couldn’t help but admire your form, well lets say your ass… her eyes tracing the curve of your behind. She quickly looked away, maintaining her composure.

You carried the bag over and set it down next to Momo, who was still working with the soil. “Where should I put this?” you asked, standing up straight and brushing some dirt off your hands “Right here is perfect,” Momo said, patting a spot next to the bed.

As you worked together, the tension between you grew palpable. Each time Momo lifted a heavy tool or bag, you couldn’t help but notice the way her muscles flexed under her skin, the strength evident in every movement. Momo, for her part, found herself stealing glances at you when she thought you weren’t looking.

After a while, you both took a break, sitting down on the grass to catch your breath. The warm sun bathed the garden in a golden glow, casting long shadows across the freshly turned soil.

“This is looking really good,” you said, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between you. Momo nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. “Yeah, it’s starting to come together nicely”

You glanced over at her, catching her gaze for a brief moment before she looked away. “Thank you for all your help today, Momo. I couldn’t have done this without you”

Momo chuckled softly, her voice filled with warmth. “It’s been my pleasure, believe me. Besides, it’s nice to have some company while I work” You smiled, feeling a rush of gratitude and something more. “I’m glad to be that company”

Momo wiped her hands on her pants and turned to you, a hesitant expression on her face. “Hey, Y/N,” she began, her voice slightly uncertain, “do you... um, have a girlfriend or boyfriend?”

You paused, surprised by the question but sensing Momo’s sincerity. “No, I’m actually single,” you replied. “I haven’t really been looking, to be honest. Just focusing on settling into the new place and now this garden project”

Momo nodded, her cheeks tinged with a faint blush. “Sorry, that was probably too forward. I didn’t mean to pry”

You smiled reassuringly. “It’s okay, Momo. I appreciate you asking. What about you?” Momo hesitated, then chuckled softly. “Honestly, my plants keep me pretty busy,” she admitted. “But, I’ve been thinking it might be nice to have someone to share things with outside of work”

You felt a rush of warmth towards Momo. “I understand that. It’s nice to have someone to share things with”

Momo nodded thoughtfully, her gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before she cleared her throat. “Listen, there’s a new café that just opened up nearby. Would you... maybe want to go there for lunch sometime?”

Your heart skipped a beat at the invitation. “I would love to,” you replied, your smile growing wider. “That sounds wonderful, Momo”

Momo returned the smile, relieved and happy. “Great! It’s a date then”

a/n: plz tell me ur thoughts and on what else i can improve 🙏

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Yandere Sabertooth and Child reader who's ability is to transform into animals and talk to them

Now, I had thought of that power before! I'm glad someone else gets it! May I call you Fauna Anon? Let's see what we can do for you:

Sabretooth was many things.

A villain, a beast, an animal given human skin. A menace and a murderer.

What he wasn't was a babysitter.

At his feet is a kid, maybe a toddler, or maybe five? who's talking to a bird, which keeps staring at him then back to the child. It caws loudly, flapping its wings, earning a shrill caw from the tiny tot. What surprises him is when the tot turns into a bird themself, a baby bird with downy feathers and small, shiny eyes.

His surprise only grows when the bird, a large crow, snatches them up and goes to take off.

"Oh, no ya don't, ya feathered devil," he growls, clawing at the bird. It swiftly dodges him, letting out an indignant cry. Inky feathers shoot by as it tries to make its grand escape, the kid (baby bird now?) clutched fiercely in its talons.

"Caaaaaw!" chirps the ball of feathers, happy and oblivious it is being kidnapped.

"Get yer own d*mn kid! That one's mine!" Sabretooth snarls, finally leaping up- snatching the birds- and landing back down to the ground below. "I'll be taking that," he says smugly, prying the kid from the crow, then letting the large bird fly off. He looks down at the little bundle of fluff in his hands, ready to chew them out for letting themself get kidnapped-

Except the kid (who was bird) is now a kitten.

And his thoughts come to a complete halt.

So cute...

So tiny...

He pokes it gently, earning a small lick.

It's...

HIS.

The kitten soon changes back into a kid, who excitedly hugs him.

"Yay! That was fun! You're really good at tag!"

"Oh, am I?"

"Yeah-huh! But Mrs. Crow cursed you and your forefathers tenfold, saying she hopes you fall to a bear and become a feast for her and the other crows."

"... Aaaaand that's enough nature for you," he sighs tiredly, picking up the cheerful tot and stalking back through the woods.

He can't believe he had to fight a bird for custody of HIS kid. What is the world coming to?