#and i am about to shit my pants
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doing reseach by sitting in my dark room and listening to TLOU Infected Sounds. i am deeply uncomfortable.
#and i am about to shit my pants#srsly why do they fucking sound like thatttt#btw who else keeps a Kill Count for their fics?#what's that?#nobody?#oh..#mayor of loserville
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im a slut for post magic reveal arthur (& knights) thinking merlin has like. a smidge of magic. like he can get stains out of clothes or warm food and baths but OBVIOUSLY merlin canāt fight. thatās ridiculous. merlin doesnāt correct this notion for whatever reason - perhaps itās best that people think that so when theyāre all in danger, he isnāt registered as a threat so he can protect his silly lil guys. ofc his silly lil guys realize that they were wrong bc the bad guys get a lil too close to hurting arthur and merlin is like ānope! fights over!!ā and annihilates them
#also a huge fan of arthur taunting and goading merlin into sparring with him#and merlin is all āomg nows my chance to finally put him in his place!! hes so arrogant and stupid and pretty and i am going to destroy himā#arthur barely gets two steps in before merlin has him pinned with a shit eating grin and arthur staring at him wide eyed and flushed#āi hope this doesnt awaken anything in meā yeah alright you bottom bitch#arthur cant stop thinking about it for days#the helplessness of being stuck firm with just a look. the brilliant gold in merlins eyes. the arrogant smirk he shot arthur.#ooooooh yeah hes DONE#bro cant keep his hand out of his pants#he keeps thinking about it#merlin is none the wiser and thinks arthurs silence and looks are bc he finally brought arthur down a few pegs#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#fanfiction#fanfic#fic ideas#prompts#hc#head canon#headcanon
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iron / heart
Part of LoL Esports Elemental Series.
#lolelements#lol esports#t1 faker#t1 oner#t1 zeus#t1 gumayusi#t1 keria#skt bang#skt wolf#skt bengi#skt kkoma#warning: MAJOR yapping incoming below#thinking about still here.mp3 and 'gripping with my cold hands the shapes i used to take'#'it could all end here with the strange daylight caught in our eyes'#'my shadow stretching out through all the things i left behind'#opening ceremony+t1 has everything they need to put me on a stretcher to ER#images from lol esports flickr (2016 worlds either finals or semis i goofed and forgot)#(and msi 2024 brackets features and worlds 2024 semis features)#there is a universe where i collected more pics and put a bit more thought into which word should go to who#but that universe also involves me doing this at a time that is not 5am#this is my last one probably twas lots of fun but new things on the horizon for me#this post is scheduled to post on finals day but just know that i am awake and shitting my pants over worlds finals#then recovery period and then im shifting into arcane mode#being completely deranged is a full time commitment never let anyone tell you otherwise#lil pat on the back for myself for successfully posting one per day til finals EVEN if they were sorta mediocre or dupes hahaha#special thanks to t1 for making it to semis because if they didn't there's a chance i would have lost steam LMAO#work school and the physical need for sleep work hard#but the esports demons in my brain work harder
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It's just... odd to me, I suppose, going from "what is in my pants is completely irrelevant to most anybody else's life" to the expectation that you must be completely open, essentially, about what is in your pants.
I think a lot of people understand the general idea of why it's bad decorum to demand people offer explanations for private information like this, but they don't analyze exactly why it's bad besides, "asking directly is just rude" and not "asking in any way still enforces the often violent nature of gender and sex, and putting people in the 'right box' is a part of that violence."
It's especially odd when seeing other trans people enforcing the idea that "what's in your pants?" is a genuine, good-faith basis for interacting with others.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#what i mean by the last paragraph is... WHY does it matter?#if i lied to you right now about what is in my pants... how would you know OR how would you change how i am treated by you?#and also. i would absolutely rather lie about my *own* body than be put in danger because it is a trans body#if worse comes to worst i genuinely don't care if somebody is mildly insulted that i didn't 'trust them' enough with that information#it's just weird to see people go from 'only tell doctors that info; it hardly matters outside that!' to...#...'you need to tell ANYbody - even in social and platonic situations where you don't think it matters'...#...can you see how believing in the fundamental idea (that your sex and to extent gender is not your own and belongs to everybody else)...#...doesn't really mesh well with the idea that trans people should be able to live an autonomous life wherein their information is *theirs*#and can you see how for people who aren't trans but have an 'its complicated' with the broad 'what's in your pants?' would ALSO be hurt?#because even if you don't word it as such you still present the fundamental idea that - again - your sex and gender are required informatio#and that it must be judged to be 'accurate' so others can place you in whatever direction they want to treat you with#anyway lying about this shit isn't Inherently Evil and the idea that it's like. a boogeyman is weird actually
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okay i have had my fill. i am ready to just let it be now. officially blocking veilguard spoilers tags š
#not gonna lie i'm fucking PISSED about that mural reveal#i would have shit my ENTIRE pants#cw veilguard spoilers#i am an expert at SCROLLING FASTER#UGH AS SOON AS I POST THISIM LIKE UUUUU BUT I WANNA SEE THE STUFF SO BADDDS
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As someone who has a Chi-Chi muse, it was hilarious that they never came here to try to 'instigate' shit. Instead 'bugging' other muses over just basically talking to Goku.
#Out Of Ki | {OOC}#From The Heavens | {Mun Post}#Not that Chi-Chi here would take the bait...especially considering what RP I THINK they were like 'oh no he's cheating'#Like did you actually read the responses?#Or you just think another woman talking to a married man means they want in his pants?#Like jeez; talk about being sexists#Also; maybe my own gremlin take no shit attitude scared them off? Or I am just too small still in the community for them to try?#IDK; my ask did eat a message before that was probably from them soooooo...probably not
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Man i understand being annoyed at Americans in a general sense, especially when thereās some choice hypocrisy to yell about on this bitch of a website but it is frustrating seeing some of the posts drift by that are āāācalling outāāāā Americans for just. Reacting badly to a bad situation.
The internet was always a mistake in the sense that it allowed us to capture in realtime any messy reactions we have to anything, before anything like sense or logic have a chance to kick in. And it was more of a mistake when we learned to Process Via Posting.
But that really doesnāt change the fact that humans. when big bad shit hits us that we werenāt expecting for some god damned reason, we might spend some time feeling fucked up contradictory things and lash out about it a little. Itās not good but it really just is.
Thereās shame and thereās anger and thereās guilt and indignation and hope and hopelessness and spite and despair. And i fucking get it when people see that and want to say āoh poor fucking baby let me play you the works smallest violinā but you really canāt expect us to thank you for that.
Iām angry. Iām sad. I went to work today and I had dinner and waived TV and I laughed at some god damn posts and then I had some other emotions and Iām still angry and sad and confused and anxious in ways I donāt understand yet.
I try to delete posts that I reblog and then realize are kinda Fucked because I want to be someone who doesnāt lash out but if the worst thing Iām doing when badly processing my emotions is reblogging a post with angry judgmental words, then fucking sue me.
#tag#Iām probably not deleting this one because really itās not about telling anyone how to behave or feel bad about how they behaved#Like I will stand by my stance of āJesus Christ itās ok for people to feel bad about bad things happeningā#And I will stand by my stance of ālet people be messy about messy emotionsā#so I Get it when my fellow Americans yell at my other fellow Americans for lashing out at their fellow Americans#but I donāt have a ton of patience right now for some of the non-US comments Iāve seen today#and none of them have been That Bad or I would have yelled directly about it#but boy am I gonna have my quiet opinions and then probably let them fade with time instead of letting them build resentment#because I have to put on my Big Citizen pants and act like the best version of myself eventually#not yet. definitely not yet.#but I owe some shit to Best Me for later#ok now that Iāve had 2 am rambles in the tag Iāll consider deleting this later lmao
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Whatās your favorite Poe costume?
hi bb š„° thank you for sending this, i very much enjoyed looking at all the pics lmao š¤¤
10000000% my choice is the slutty dinosaur wrangler look from rise of skywalker
there's just....so much going on between the gloves and shirt and the pants and boots and that stupid fucking scarf hnnnnnnnnnnnnng.
i think i fall in love with him a little more every time i see him in this outfit tbh. it's very, um, inspiring, let's say š¤
(honorable mention below the cut)
also adore him in his flight suit, tbh. who knew an ugly, orange onesie could also be sexy? š
(tho, lbr, it might just be that oscar makes it sexy lmaooo)
#so many thots#first one is pulling that stupid scarf and kissing the shit out of him#(then maybe using it to tie him up later idk idk)#those GLOVES i'm fs;ldfkdlgk#i wanna suck n his fingers while he's wearing them is that weird#there's something so hot about them idek#and that stupid fucking shirt with that slutty ass collar and the sleeves rolled up to the elbows#asdl;ksfl;dkfg#i am#a puddle#and those pants legit like fit him so perfectly#i....i am LOOKING mmk#and that stupid thigh holster is doing ~things~ to me too fml#ya know what this reminds me of actually#and i can't believe i just now realized this#brendan fraser in the mummy#rick fucking o'connell#it's no longer a surprise that this is my favorite look lmaooo a;lsdksl;dfk#poe dameron#ivy tag
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I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually
#like its so cute honestly but sometimes i wonder how hard it would actually be to like find the right color match#maybe one day... but for now probably expect oc art with this trend in it maybe š#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya#oh nvm i googled. it exists i just dont pay attention ig#OH you know what i can do... i can paint pepperonis eye color on my nails.... my baby... my kitty......#dude it feels like 5 am why is it only 2#amyways. 4 monsters was a big mistake i think... i feel quite icky...#it doesnt help i didnt eat for a majority of the day it was just monster. im really unhealthy. need water maybe#wait i was talking about nail polish how did i get here#i just want to actually do cute couple things. i must heal. im gonna be so healthy.#its fine. lmao. i just know im not ready#oh i did eat btw dont worry lmao i had. chicken nuggets#i actually have to eat more bc i need to gain back some weight or they wont let me donate plasma#my extra pokemon money..... nawr...#i dropped like 10 pounds. my current job is very physical. lots of scuttling around.#i thought about working out too? i had a short phase last year in like spring or something where i started doing workout type stuff#so like.. maybe. probably should. healtly mindset shit yk#i also maybe want some more clothes. like update my wardrobe a bit. really figure out my style.#like some cool shirts and maybe pants. cause i wear a lot of the same stuff#also again. dropped weight so. need better fitting pants.....#i want more mens pants. big pockets... gender....#anyways. nice chatting with you besties. love you guys my silly little tumblr besties.#some of you that follow this sideblog have supported me on here for a while. i see you. i appreciate you. thank you š#genuinely there are names that pop up and im like !! hello!!! its you!!!!!#you guys probably know who you are. go get yourself a little treat you deserve it. or like. idk what you enjoy.#play a good game. watch your favorite show. idk. be happy. love yourself.#this also goes out to those of you who are more passive on my blog. i appreciate you too!! thank you!#all my little tumblr followers.... my besties..... unles you are a bot i havent cleared out lmao#k i might have to go to bed idk im tired well see
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(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this
#Shrouded In A Rectangle neither sleeves nor an open front to be besieged with? yes#just doing whatever else like doesn't matter. tee cargo shorts which is my best guess rn of my ideal outfit. + sandals Absolutely#unfortunately my hair could never do that. somehow neither am i yet like forties fifties? have i not been at this for eons?#i Can be like uh let's just nobody talk to me i'm busy pensively perceiving truths that you don't ever actually wanna hear about#just the other day it was like hey....a [way Having To Talk could be a difficulty / problem] was under my nose in this lifelong pattern#certainly noticing the Verbal Exchange Demand heaped upon burnout as like [delay delay delay struggle weariness stress]#but also who knows like spent plenty of time just probably indeed Not having to have such exchanges while burned out. not noting them#anyway like this isn't even [dysphoric Ideal Outfit until i could [whatever supposed even more ideal than that gender euphoria]]#though shoutout to that but like nah get shrouded anyway. the only [how do i look] im motivated to consider is: when it's a costume#when it's just me it's like. i guess whatever pants and a comfortable enough tee. need glasses. hair's w/e so cut quite short ig#might accessorize w/things that are fun to me like hey yeah yknow i might want a calculator watch#[yea as a kid it was like :( im actively appreciating the animals supposedly Gross or Bad] if i had hated little friends Sure yaay#if i had disorienting light effects like a pelagic creature. but you don't even need that. like hey i'm nd in real life. i got it#chat i'm in the walls too bestie lmao. if only my bigfoot pose reference Step was this good#tl;dr long rephrasing of my being like; now the gender slay....#& nodding & Noting when [worksheet exercise: what's your gender euphoria look?] is like shrug idk. but this is serving maximally to me; so#going Chat how can i up my uncanny stats. looking up ''isn't it like Uncanny knowledge e.g. so like why not....canny''#but i think the un canny is the Uncanniness Accuser's perspective. not of My ken. your literal weird one maybe#so again apt to be like jk i'm just autistic & shit; i got it....horror shit challenge impossible: Don't have sm typical mundane#[disability moment] as like Unsettling danger/malice cues. challenge impossible; again#subverted here like as [horror holding hands touching foreheads w/comedy] w/o Rescinding just casual disabled behavior/qualities#just remembered like three witches weird sisters etc macbeth. weird uncanny soothsaying gendering. word#anyway i should be shrouded (made no any connection whenever i put the blanket now over my head & shoulders in place min ago)#perhaps the real Ideal Look insight: i do not have any way i wish to be observed by people. secret passages / removed room anytime
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SO... I was just thinking, let's say hypothetically.. mahiru guren & shinya weren't toxic ca16 was written by a less misogynist author then would you like mahigureshin as like poly ship? It just came in my head as much as I dislike how author wrote them esp mahirus character I still think in alternative setting it might work?? They are kind of catastrophic trio with very poetic themes & victim of fate kinda afterall.
honestly probably yeah. most powerful trio imagineable.
although i actually have no clue what mahiru's personality would be like were she not written by such an author. i think i've read some cool modern AUs in which i really liked her - kickass businesswoman that overworks herself trying to get her little sister out of a difficult situation while simulteanously juggling her relationship with her boyfriend and their shared trophy wife, i think that'd fit her well. "all you do is work :(" "you don't understand i'm doing this for us!!!111!1!1!!1!!!" type of stuff.
i will forever treasure that little snippet of her and shinya making fun of guren together, that was adorable. the way things should've been.
#don't cancel me for calling shinya a trophy wife it's funny ok#the girlbossā the babygirlā and the trophy wife. true romance.#i do wonder what mahiru's feelings regarding shinya are in vampire reign#like through catastrophe she felt mostly neutral or slightly disdainful towards him#but our guren-hating mika became yuu's demon and suddenly doesn't hate him at all anymore.#so maybe guren's thoughts rubbed off on her and she's fine with shinya now LMAO#but yeah those dynamics are very fun to think about#guren trying to comprehend how he pulled the two prettiest people alive (he didn't. they pulled him)#mahiru and shinya absolutely being in love but not romantically#i am forever a firm believer that women (guremahi) should give shinya little kisses on the forehead#they put him thru hell so now they're spoiling him#many tags. many tags#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#shinya hiiragi#guren ichinose#mahiru hiiragi#imagine seeing them out in public together i'd shit my pants#all hail the theoretical polyamorous catastrophic trio
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Borrowing
#can uou pleas e look away this is private.. thank you.....#moe is constantly stealing his shit in askr but like. a concept i ALWAYS find funny.#is alfonse having to borrow moe's clothes in the world of steel. granting....... everything is mostly untouched ect ect#don't let me think about the details. the only thing that matters is the fact that moe is short and stocky.#like. almost deceptively. it's more bottom heavy. which is why you see it in baggy pants/knee length shorts#like almost all the time.#the idea that only ONE pair of moe's pants would feasibly fit alfonse and they're the big oversized ones#like i'm talking leg length too. alfonse is almost ALL fucking leg. ESP compared to moe#the idea that those do actually fit nicely. at least length wise. something about it is SO funny to me#and while i did just give him a plain muscle tank like. god it would be SO funny. to put him in#one of moe's one million band t shirts.#i'm taking a break today so like. self indulgence....#i also have so. at least a few. concepts. about moe and sharena actually being about the same size.#but i'm not ready yet LMFAOOO#first. i gotta be on my faggot shit#I HAVE SO MANY CONCEPTS. FUNNY CONCEPTS. of moe having free reign to dress him up#visiting or straight up au. it's just really important to me that moe is entirely 100% focused#on the task at hand. maybe a little bit of jealousy/dysphoria in there. but ultimately it is On A Mission#meanwhile alfonse is fighting for his life. he's gonna fucking explode.#idk what else i'm gonna do today i am just resting. for the most part. also tumblr keeps crashing.#i do just need to take a break maybe though. i wanna play touys... but i do need a break.#fe alfonse#moe tag#my art
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Guess who is going to the Quake Museum tomorrow FOR FREE
#yes the one about the lisbon 1755 earthquake#which recreates the whole thing#i am so fucking excited you people wont believe it#the company is taking us there to start a partnership#and I'm shitting my pants cause that shits expensive#and I GET TO SEE ITTTTTT#AND EXEPRIENCE ITTTTT#SO EXCITEDDDDDD
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so i might be alive... i might also be back? though i cannot promise that
#idk i just wanna disappear from everywhere but at the same time i don't wanna let g#do you guys watch the boys? i am shitting my pants maybe we can talk about it or sth#i missed my moots
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ok saw the most recent doctor who episode.
that was stupid and i am very annoyed
it doesnt even make any sense, it doesnt explain fucking anything, what was that?fucking cocktease of a fucking mystery, i was so fucking invested on the susan plot line, and then mrs pool shows up as is all sinister and breaks the fourth wall again, which brings up again the idea that this might all be a tv show within the tv show, and they bring up the fact that time lords can take off their timelordiness and invest it in an object to pass as human, and the old lady showing up everywhere keeps being brought up and its all beautifully coming together, and there is the secret identity of ruby's mom. this is all promising to tie up masterfully, all the dominos are set, we just need the last final piece of the puzzle to blow our brains out. im ready for this to be the master, or the granddaughter or perhaps another timelord? or maybe something even cooler than that
and it just some fucking random egyptian god? and the show is acting all like this is supposed to be mindblowing, like im supposed to recognize the guy or care who he is? like, cool i guess? some random mythological guy from some random ass religion, cool. like who seriously gives a shit about generic evil monster dude number 42353451341. the toymaker and the maestro are supposed to be these eldritch beings from beyond time, space or reason, in my mind those things are above simple gods of earth's cultures, also they were like abstract concepts, playing, music, etc. the fact that this guy is a specific god from a specific culture feels completly out of step.
i am so mad that the granddaughter mystery was a red herring, i was 100% invested in it and it was all for nothing, i hate when shows do that, when they promise something really cool and then it was all just a misdirection. instead we are getting something significantly less interesting that feels out of left field and for which we have made no build up. not to mention it doesnt really explain at all why the fuck was susan all over the place. also does this guy have like multiple harbingers? Is he susan? or is he the guy at the tardis? and none of this gets us closer to the mystery behind ruby's mom, why was she pointing in the memory? what the fuck?
none of this makes any fucking sense at all, im actually angry, i feel i have been fucked with, i have been taken for a ride, i have been led on, this reeks of jj abrahams mystery box bullshit, this is LOST all over again
what a way to completly throw away all the good will this season built up
ļ»æ
#doctor who#dr who#i am mad#i cannot begin to tell you how little i care about this suthek guy#the way they spam that name like im supposed to shit my pants because he is some random ass god#who seriously gives a shit
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