#and i also because i cannot drive. so she brought me for the price of a bubble tea and a bao bun

[fingertipsmp3]

Ya girl may have been recruited into an MLM 👍🏻

[feralkwe]

because @thefreelanceangel said i could.

i finally unlocked thaleia last night. there's a whole story about why it's taken me so long that involves me on a windy road through doing the msq as a sprout tank and the utterly terrible experiences i had doing raids, especially alliance raids, to the point where i, a tank main, have been (and in many ways still am) afraid to tank them. that's not what this post is about. it's about kit, and her journey to this point in her story. about the narrative given to her when the blessing of light was first given a name and how the events of her life as "hydaelyn's chosen" has shaped the one she understands now.

like i said, i unlocked thaleia--i have yet to do the actual fight--after winding through this story involving eorzea's twelve. by the end of the quest leading up to it, i realized kit's been making this face for some time now:

she's not amused. she finds nothing charming about these shenanigans, about being drawn into a fight for the amusement of these beings that, as far as she can tell so far, is an attempt to end themselves, or something akin to it. she's watched g'raha and krile and their companions gush and delight over meeting the twelve and their pursuit of knowledge to understand them, and all kit can think about this whole time as she's surrounded by these so-called gods disguised as adorable creatures is the utter injustice of it all.

she does not, and likely has not for some time, felt like hydaelyn's chosen or champion or anything other than a windup toy let loose in a cruel, fated time loop while being given drips of information about who she is and why she has to be the one to take it all on. time and again she's been pitted against the only people who have been honest with her--evil, but honest--and forced into situation after situation to have to kill them. she's been misled, abandoned, and at times essentially lied to by the person supposedly blessing her as she fights to save the star and everyone on it.

and i feel like this is a last straw. as these gods gave her their sage wisdom, something inside her broke.

she knows. she knows that the process to make a hydaelyn was the same process that made a zodiark. she knows that lives were sacrificed to give form and life to both of them. she also knows that one set of those souls have been all but forgotten by history, their world-saving sacrifice shadowed in a false narrative of a power-hungry and evil god bent on destruction, while these ones have spent eons being worshiped and prayed to as protectors of the world. she's angry. she's hurt. she's still grieving so many things from a life that was stolen from her to lost loves she's had to say goodbye to again and again (and in some cases again). the twelve have played a game with her while the unsundered fought for the forgotten, and she cannot look upon their faces without seeing hythlodaeus, or elidibus, or emet-selch, or even lahabrea. even as her partially rejoined traveler's soul craves adventure and the new, she's come to resent so much of it. she's come to resent venat, hydaelyn, and while kit can and does acknowledge this woman-turned-god's role in saving the world she loves, it carried a price kit sometimes lies awake seething over.

i figured out awhile ago that kit's greatest strength and greatest weakness is her capacity for love. it drives her. it's what prompted her to leave golmore, it's what carried her to the ends of existence. it made her take up her axe and fight wars and primals and ascians lightwardens and despair itself. it made the scions her family even when she initially felt used by them. it made her fight to save them. it made her drive herself to near annihilation again and again. it made her fall in love with urianger, and forgive him. it made her hate g'raha tia, and forgive him. it brought her an intense and confusing relationship she did not understand with emet-selch even as she put an axe through him. it made her trust hythlodaeus without question. see thancred in a different light. it made her weep for elidibus long before she traveled back in time and fell in love with him. every step of the way love has hurt as much as it has spurred her on, taken as much as it's given, and yet she overflows with it. and i think that's a call back to her life as azem. we see through the shadowbringers class quests that ardbert, too, brimmed with love he could barely contain that drove his every step forward, even when the world he gave himself to save turned against him. and now she carries that, too.

venat asked her, "has your journey been good? has it been worthwhile?" in many ways, she would say yes. it's given her so much. it has led to her being loved and cherished by many people in many ways across time and space. but it has taken just as much from her. maybe more. the love the twelve claim to have for her feels hollow, much like hydaelyn's has at many points in time. whether or not it was is subjective to every player and the way they see and interpret their wol and the writing the game presents us. but kit fails to see the love in this. she sees and feels more manipulation of the love she carries that makes up the fundamentals of her soul. even if they do not know the full of who she is--azeyma seems to have a sense of it at least--they know enough to know that she can serve their purpose. and at the time of their sacrifice to hydaelyn, venat very much knew. kit carries that. kit resents that. maybe that makes them victims, too, and maybe she'll find a way to make peace with all of this later, when she's done being furious at the double standard for the souls who volunteered to sacrifice themselves to create zodiark.

idk, i feel like this is the first time canon has given me something on the screen that feels entirely at odds with the character i've been playing, and it's a jarring experience. every smile she made at every god in myths of the realm has felt abrasively wrong for her.

i'm looking forward to the conclusion of this story, and i'm looking forward to where her journey takes her going into dawntrail. but for now, i have one very angry, hurt, and grieving bun on my hands, and i don't see the resolution of those feelings coming with the completion of this raid series.

[silverspleen]

@your-royal-highness-of-trash

Pulled out into TWO new posts b/c I cannot be subjecting my friends to one longpost but rather many smaller posts with the majestic read more tool. I hope this is cool.

(Context. My reply to This.)

THE FUN HALF lets ramble about character stuff yes pleaaaase they really did nail the characterization they did do that I hate how good of a job they did.

First it is so funny that you already know Bad Suns! I was literally introduced to them this summer by one of my D&D buddies on one of our driving days where we just hang out in the car listening to music loudly with the windows down and I was just, blown away by their sound. And then like a week later went. "Wait.... This is a blorbo song. This is an Alex pov Faralex song. This is him being filled with emotions oh my god"

Glad you are also just "eh" on Ghoap. Like. I've read some great Ghoap fics but like. Perhaps it's the hipster in me. I get the dynamic allure, I get the chemistry, I get that it's hot but I am just not insane for them like the majority of the fandom. Because I already have Faralex. And og Ghost Roach but WHATEVER.

I have posted about the Alex disability thing before already so I 100% hard agree. When I actually looked up the timeline for a prosthetic, just like, as a cursory google for the most vague of fic writing stuff, I was immediately like. OH THEY DID NO RESEARCH HUH. He would have still been in PT by the time they brought him into Warzone he would not be ready for it, but like. Yeah he's so? He's nice? He's a nice man and very friendly but he's also not a good man (we forget that these are not the same) and also sort of hyper focused on Farah and sometimes I think that it's easy to backseat his angst when Farah's right there for him to sort of focus on instead of his problems? He was a marine and a CIA agent and I'm sure he has some like very intense ingrained stuff about technically being actually genuinely disabled with likely chronic pain now and it probably isn't great! I love a healthy dynamic but I will not lie and pretend I'm not into a little bit into how his thing for her can 100% be a little unhealthy. I like a little smidge of the spice with that devotion dynamic. As you said, being mentally ill together. I like that she is in a position where she needs someone who is like, a little obsessed with her in a way that's Not Normal, and he is in a position where being Not Normal about someone probably gets him through some rough days but also watch out! Don't let that consume you!

I feel like he probably gets the prosthetic from Price (and Laswell later), but like. Surely it gets broken because, as you said, he is running around in the desert for hours at a time on combat missions. Farah gets her little care package of goods from Price and Alex just gets leg parts it's constantly leg parts every shipment there's a leg part in there you can tell he's been somewhere because we just have ruined liners everywhere and you can tell when stuff is really bad because there's just. A leg. Abandoned in some building somewhere and smashed half to shit.

Out of Alex I want 1) more disability stuff because yes. Like he has to use crutches a lot, right? Surely he does. How easy is it to shoot a gun in crutches I have to know! I want like "ah ha we have attacked the ULF off guard surely now we will be at an advanta-" *thudding sound of angry CIA deserter in crutches with a gun and still very capable of being dangerous* 2) We are so cagey about the whole "he is now a terrorist" CIA deserter thing. Does he have family at home? He died so like. Did his mom or dad get a flag? Do you get a flag when you desert? Surely they knew he was into some Incredibly Black Ops stuff so like when he vanishes off the face of the earth it was normal up until they get a letter like "lol sorry he's dead." (But he's not dead, you'll just never see the top secret blurry photos of him in the desert doing a terrorism, which was not all that different than what he was doing before he just enjoys it more now.) How many skeletons are in that closet boooy.

You should totally make a bookmark collection!! I know I value the heck out of people who do fic reviews and collections and stuff. Nothing like seeing that someone else is really enjoying a ship dynamic and collecting stuff that's their taste.

"Different Relationship" yes they are in love your honor. He would never intentionally mispronounce his beloved wife's name, he's just a stupid American and gets it 50% correct but he tries. I have never seen this video. Thank you so much for linking it.

-

Ugh thinking in my brain again about like, do you think he would have ever brought Farah to PT? Like he's going to PT for his leg under some assumed name somewhere and has told the therapists some sort of half truth sob story about his life that is 80% CIA lies and 20% actual dynamics from his life so they are aware of Farah in a "I need to get better because there is someone in my life I need to get back to" way. And then he slowly phases out as he recovers and later he actually brings The Someone to one of his checkup appointments and it's this tiny middle eastern woman that he has really intense energy with where they are clearly having entire conversations just by staring at each other. Between his military tattoos and how she gets this edge to her every time there's a weird noise outside it's slowly becoming obvious that they are both military somehow but everything goes well until there's a global news update about Urzikstan and they both get really weird and quiet until Alex is like "hey lets change the channel now :)" and Farah says something in Arabic and he replies and they have some sort of laugh about it and it's like, uh oh these people! These people are somehow connected to global events in some nebulous way that you're not sure you should be thinking about!

Anyway shout out to the government guy who brought his concealed carry into the clinic! I don't think that was necessary! I looked it up and it was probably legal since we didn't have a sign at that point but why did you do that knowing full well you would have to take off your shirt for the scan and I would have to be uncomfortably near it the whole time! I will complain about this whenever I can! It was weird!

[pbandjesse]

I had kind of a hard day emotionally. I did not sleep well and that did not help at all. It left me feeling really bad. Physically and emotionally. I canceled with Celia. And completely changed my plans.

James had already left by the time I got up. I was so tired but I didn't think going back to sleep would make me feel any better. I got up and washed my face and got dressed. I felt okay. The overwhelmed dread I was feeling when I woke up lessened. I would spend the morning putting things away. I cannot wait until the rest of our shelves are here and I can put so much of our stuff away. It's been really tough living with things everywhere but it gets better every time we get a new piece of furniture.

I would clean the kitty litter and vacuum the frog tank. Omelet still seems a little freaked out from the move but I have seen him basically everyday so I'm not to worried about him. Though I noticed that the water was a little cool, so I turned up the temp and hopefully he is more comfortable.

I laid on the couch for a bit. I had breakfast. I decided I would go to the thrift store and then to Taco bell. I had wanted to go to home Depot but I lost motivation for that.

I had a nice drive though. I went through the tunnel to get to Glen Burnie. It was a the different side which I have not gone through in forever. I am not positive that it reads my ezpass. But it was still a nice drive.

I was surprised by how busy it was. As I was going in an older woman was coming out in an incredible ketchup/Heinz knot sweater and I told her how amazing it was and she was so nice.

And I had a good time looking inside. I would find two things I may be able to use for Uganda. And some linen pajamas. I found a framed little sea shell thing. And another wall candle holder. I had a lot of fun just looking at things but I was frustrated by how many things had proved from other thrift stores or yard sales and it was so much cheaper then they were selling them for. Like if you're going to price it higher take the other price off?? Ridiculous.

I had a good coupon though and still had a good haul.

I went to Taco Bell next. And it was so expensive? I was shocked. But it was still really good. And the cashier was also named Jesse and we had a really nice conversation about having the same name and being misgendered because of it. It was honestly just really sweet.

I ate my crunch wrap in the car. And listened to my podcast. And it was a really beautiful day. I was feeling better. My spirits were slightly better.

I decided I would head towards the museum. Go to five below and the dollar store. And then go stop and see James.

And that's just what I did. I would have a lot of fun in five below. I got three blind bags. And some candy. I would sit outside on a bench and open my blind bags and I loved my calico critter the best.

I walked to dollar tree next and got floss and a some hooks for the wall. And then headed back to the car.

Where someone was parked long ways across 3 spots? Bizarre.

I drove over to the museum and James was really surprised to see me. It was a nice surprise. I was also helpful because I could give them a few minutes to warm up their lunch and get some water. I would check in some guests and only panicked a little when I could not find the stickers. Panic panic. James's desk is always so messy but I was eventually able to find them and it was all good.

I hung out for a few more minutes. But I was tired. And so I went home.

When I got back here I brought all my treasures inside. I tried on all my purchases and was very happy with how they look. I took all the stickers off things and put things in their spots. Or temporary spots.

I spent some time hanging the hooks for I have a spot to put my embroidery hoops. And I really like how it looks. Once the other shelf gets here and I can put more things away I want to hang my looms as well.

I would get cuddled up on the couch until James got home. I was tired but didn't really want to sleep. I just watched tiktoks. And was so happy to see them when they got back.

We would hang out in the couch for a while. But eventually they would leave to go to the apartment to get the last of our stuff. The big furniture is still over there. But all of our things are here now.

While they were gone I had a really bad coughing fit and felt terrible. I tried taking a shower but I couldn't wait for the water to warm up and it was deeply unpleasant. I got changed and tired to calm down but I was wheezing really bad.

When James got back I was in the middle of starting to lay out how we were going to hang the big mirror on the wall. And I would help bring things in from the car but I was struggling to breathe and was not feeling good.

Once everything was inside James would get me some allergy meds and the inhaler and it take a little while but it does help. Like my nose is still running but I'm not choking anymore. I am still uncomfortable and I feel sad. But I will be okay.

James made me dumplings for dinner. And they had pasta and burned their mouth. But after dinner we worked together to hang up the very heavy mirror. I got clips that are for 75lbs. But I am nervous because we hung it behind the door. And I think we may have to move it in the end. But it was fun working on that together.

Once we got the mirror on I put hardware on the mirror's frame so we could hang it on top of the mirror and I think it's a very clever way to deal with the problem.

James went upstairs to paint their nails. And I came up here to do my face lotions and laid down. And that is what I'm doing now. I really hope I can sleep better tonight. I want to be in a good mood tomorrow.

Because we are going to visit my parents. I'm really looking forward to seeing them. We are going to borrow their washing machine to wash our towels. But that's just a plus.

I hope it's a fun day. Maybe we can go out to lunch. And my brother might come by. I am really looking forward to it.

I love you all. Sleep good tonight. Until next time!

[tunarex]

whoever broke a mirror had better start gluing that motherfucker back together

Monday: a friend of mine was at my house for 8 hours crying because she's being kicked out of her house by her ex (i wish i could lightheartedly blame this on 'the straights' but it's too sad and stressful). i connected her with some resources but otherwise cannot help, which makes me feel like a shitty person and friend.

Tuesday: i got lightly internet bullied by a student. this hurt my feelings for about 2 minutes, then i just laughed it off because he's young and immature. also, i've been a teenager on the internet before, so he's more of a reflection of me than i want to admit.

Wednesday: our kitten got really sick and had to be rushed to the e-vet. 10 hours in the waiting room and $4,000 later, we transferred her to a different (cheaper) e-vet. the worst part of this night was sitting with other families who had to put their pets down because they couldn't afford the vet prices. little did i know at the time, there was a better and cheaper vet 20 minutes drive west.

Thursday: transfer day. we get our kitten to a different vet. we finally start to feel a little better. these people are nicer and more affordable for the same level of care. the reality of how much this is costing starts to settle over the front of my mind and my eyes get blurry. i realize i'm crying.

Friday morning: my niece gets into a horrendous car wreck. they are admitted overnight in the trauma unit. there are a couple different miracles happening here: 1) they forgot to bring their brother with them that morning, and it was the passenger side of the car that was destroyed beyond recognition, so if they had brought him, he would be dead, and 2) even though the car was completely destroyed, they only broke their ass. so it'll be a few awkward and painful weeks on crutches, but they otherwise got away with very little physical damage.

Friday night: my partner gets a call from their sister. their step-dad is dying. he's been given a year to live. we've been expecting this call, but after the week we've had, it was a hard pill to swallow.

Saturday: the curse has lifted! our kitten and my niece are able to come home. some relief.

Sunday: i try aerial yoga for the first time. i tremble and cry through the entire class. it was not a good decision after a long, stressful week.

check in on your people. take some stuff off your plate. rest. recoup. and build up your savings, cuz you literally never know when an e-vet is going to fuck you.

[2-fast-2-curious]

Christine Projects Her Kinks onto George Russell

I truly cannot help it, this man right here with his camel eyelashes and marble bust bone structure is my type to a tee. Special shoutout to @laurelp​ because she had to listen to me talk about this man ad nauseam.

Pairing: George Russell x AFAB!Reader

He’s talking shit about all my friends // when he rolls up in his Mercedes Benz

A responsible sweetie, never jaywalks, if he crosses when the hand is flashing or there’s a pedestrian countdown, he uses those long legs to speed walk across the street with plenty of time before the light changes

How old am I that my kinks now include people knowing how to cross the street

If you work an office job like me, sometimes you’ll take the elevator down after a long day to see George sitting in the lobby with a bouquet of flowers and an iced coffee just how you like it

Now that he has that G Wagon, he takes you stargazing in the middle of nowhere

Buys snacks from the gourmet grocery store like dried figs, biscotti, dark chocolate and maybe a responsible amount of adult beverages

Reclines the seats and opens the sun roof

George doesn’t actually know the constellations he brought a book and uses the flashlight on his phone to try to learn something but it’s impossible to focus and try to find them when you’re laying there looking beautiful

He gives up and just starts pointing at random stars and fibs to say they’re the corresponding constellation for your sun, moon, and ascending

Leans over the centre console to kiss you just because he feels like it

Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat

You guys talk for most of the night and when you realize how late and sleepy you both are you decide to just spend the night in the car

Has blankets and cozy stuff in his trunk for you

If it’s private enough you might get lucky with some heavy petting and groping fogging up the car windows

He keeps makeup wipes, toner, and moisturiser for you in his glove compartment

You also help him with his skincare routine

Have you seen this man’s skin? He didn’t really need any help but he’s not going to turn down you touching his skin

But TBH I think he’s not into public sex as someone with an exhibitionist streak this KILLS me

How you look in the moment really turns him on and part of that is that it’s for his eyes only 

He doesn’t want someone else getting an eyeful of what’s belongs to him

George is the reason vanilla is the most popular ice cream flavour

Predictably, he always satisfies Mr Consistency

He’s favourite position is missionary because he loves looking at your face as you come undone and brushing your hair back so he can see you better

When you’re close you wrap your legs around his hips and dig your heels into his butt

It drives George crazy that your body is subconsciously locking him in and not letting him leave

You feel so wet and warm and so lovely around him, he never wants to leave

If he has a spicy slide, it’s that he has a serious thing for marking up your neck and leaving finger print bruises on your hips

Always checks you after to make sure you’re okay because he’s so much stronger than you

Kisses all your marks

I’ve never been as comfortable with someone meeting your parents as I have been with George

He just gives off the vibe that he’s amazing at meeting your family and such the perfect gentleman

All your younger relatives love climbing all over him and chasing him around the yard

He’s great at making polite conversation with the adults

Talking about grown up stuff like sports/inflation/gas prices/the current labour shortage/neighbourhood rezoning

This man reads the newspaper

Also has no problem fucking you in your family’s home with his hand on your mouth to keep you quiet

[mad-who-ra]

Dagger and Arrows (4)

Part 1    Part 2     Part 3

You will see more of Bheem, but here’s a glimpse of him

Ram x Wife!Reader

Word count : 902

“Y/N, this is Akhtar.” 

Y/N heard her husband’s voice and closed the book that she was reading. One of the good things about Ram knowing the truth was she could now read freely and when he was around, instead of busying herself in household chores. Sometimes, Ram would even strike up a conversation about the book that she was reading, or even recommend her one. Since, no one really knew she could read and write, she could never talk about books with anyone. So, it was pretty nice, she had decided.

When she looked up, she saw a man a man with the softest eyes and kindest smiles she had ever seen. That brought a smile to her face as well. She stood up from where she was sitting on the floor.

“Akhtar, this is Y/N, my wife.”

“Bhabhi, it’s so good to meet you. Anna always talks about you.” Akhtar smiled.

“I am sure he does.” Y/N looked at Ram, amused. He rolled his eyes and that made her smile. She turned back to Akhtar.

“So, you are the man I keep spotting my husband around the town on a motorcycle with.” She said, in a light tone and watched Akhtar grin nervously.

“I am just helping Anna-” He started.

“Can you drive well?” She asked, narrowing her eyes. 

“Yes, of course. I would never-” He said, very flustered. That made her smile.

“Stop scaring him.” Ram said, looking amused for once. 

Akhtar stopped talking, looking between the both of them.

“It’s okay. I was only teasing you.” She laughed, “sit, I will get you some water.”

He immediately relaxed and smiled.

“Also bhabhi, can you get me something to eat? It smells delicious in here.” He asked.

“I will get you some.” She chuckled, walking into the kitchen. 

Adorable, Akhtar was adorable.

 She had only filled the glass of water when she felt a presence behind her.

“You need to stop sneaking up on me like this. I will stab you someday.” She said, without looking back.

“Did you find any leads?” Ram asked. She turned around to look at him. He leaned against the counter, with his arms crossed. 

“Not yet, but I am working on it.” She sighed.

“Y/N, this is important.”

“I know. But you have not told me anything ab-”

“Because you don’t need to know anything else.”

“But if you tell me why you are looking for this man or what has he done-”

“You know everything you need to know, to find him.” He repeated.

“If we are working together, you better start treating me like an equal, Ram. I am not working for you.” She clenched her jaw. 

Ram sighed.

“He is a rebel.” He said, finally.

Yeah, she doubted as much. If it was a mission of the empire, of course he was a rebel.

“So, I am basically helping you arrest an innocent man?” She asked. Even if she had guessed it was a rebel, knowing it for sure was definitely worse.

“No.” Ram said, “I will not arrest him. I need information from him. And trust me, it is for his own good.”

She rolled her eyes.

“I cannot really trust your judgement on what is for the good of the people of this country, Ram.”

“Look at it this way. If I don’t find him, he would probably get himself killed.” Ram tried.

No, this was stupid. She should have never agreed to help him. This was going to weigh on her conscience for the rest of the eternity.

“And we made a deal.” He said. 

Of course he was going to remind her of the deal. They had made a deal, and now she was going to pay the price for her survival. 

“Do you promise not to kill him?” She asked, halfhearted. 

“Yes.” Ram said, without thinking twice.

“You won’t hand him over to the government?”

“I just need information from him.” He said.

“I suppose you won’t tell me what for?” She tried.

Ram stared at her silently.

“Yeah, I thought so.”

“It’s better if you don’t know.” He said, in a small voice.

She agreed. It was definitely better if she didn’t know. Ignorance was bliss in this case. They knew they were on the opposite sides of the war. It was not a surprise. This temporary alliance did not mean either of them had changed their ways.

“You are probably right.” She sighed, turning to put some rice into a plate for Akhtar.

“He is going to need more than that.” Ram said.

“Then take the Kadhai to him. And you can arrange your own lunch.” She smiled, handing him the pot.

“I ate.” Ram said.

“Having chai on the side of the street is not lunch, Ram. We have talked about this.” Y/N glared at him.

He rolled his eyes, “What about you?”

“What about me?” She asked, confused.

“Did you eat?”

“Look at you, being all worried about my well being.” She teased. 

She giggled when he glared at her.

“I will eat something when I go to the bazaar.”

He nodded.

“I will be home late.” 

“Okay?” She said, confused. He never told her when he will be home or when he will leave.

“I am going to take this to Akhtar before he starts eating my books.” Ram said, after a moment.

“Yeah, okay.”

...

Tagging some lovelies @juhiiiiii @manwalaage @maraudersfansassemble @gauri-vishalakshi @lil-stark @rambheem-is-real @darlingletshurttonight @seherie @how-is-it-in-london @itsfookingloosah @redirection04 @irisesforyoureyes @sinistergooseberries @cainiyor @idk528 @zaddylokiandthorsimp @bromance-minus-the-b @contemporarykafka @hissterical-nyaan @ramayantika @obsessedtoafault @sivuda @chaanv @adrakchutneyofficial @reallythoughtfulwizard @phoenix666stuff @nerdreader

Did i forget anyone?

[boldlyvoid]

Million Dollar Man | chapter two

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, kissing, drinking mention, lowkey perv!Spencer, cum play, praise, oral (female receiving), grinding, love confessions, arrangements, Spencers anxiety, (more to add)

word count: 3.4K

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and saturdays at 2 pm est

Chapter Two | Masterlist

She sat on the subway with an anxious pit in her stomach and her purse held close to her chest. Her laptop in her bag, she didn’t want to lose it on her way to the most important meeting of her whole life.

Her story was becoming a book, she was almost done the final draft, they were making touch-ups to the cover and picking the type of paper today.

Her dreams were coming true within the next month, soon she’d have a physical copy of her book, her pre-sales were showing that she’d be on the bestseller list, and her name was finally going to be on the cover of this one.

She sighed and reached for her necklace, holding it between her fingers as she took a few deep breaths. She was doing so much better today than she was last year and it was all because of Spencer, he was the best thing to happen to her. To think she complimented his sweater vest and now he’s the only person in her life she can count on.

All she can think about is him for the rest of her journey, through 4 more stops she keeps her eyes closed as she thinks of all his little facts and his cute laugh. She smiles to herself and the anxiety slips away, she loves him and she knows that for sure, but she just doesn’t know how she loves him.

She’s never had a sibling, her best friends are all women, her previous boyfriends were all shit and her other sugar daddies were never this wonderful, and her parents are lesbians… she doesn’t know what her feelings really are for Spencer, mainly because she’s never known any other men to compare him to.

But she does know the exact moment she realized she fell for him.

He booked a hotel room in DC after a local case, asking her to meet him in there at 10 pm. She was waiting in the bathtub when he arrived, bubbles galore, her hair up and arms open, “welcome home, honey.”

He laughs, “you want me to get in there with you?”

She just nods, “let me take care of you, daddy?”

He takes off his blazer, pulls his tie off and starts to unbutton his shirt. She watches patiently as he gets undressed, and it’s not sexual to her. He’s her person, her best friend, the only human being she would ever share a moment like this with and that’s when it hits her.

She doesn’t accept it just yet.

It’s not until he’s lying on her chest, between her legs, cheek resting on her boobs as she runs a sponge over his back while he gives her a little run down on his terrible week. His co-worker almost died, his mom is stressing him out, the only good thing he has left is her and she knows that.

“And then I get to my moms facility and she’s had a really good day, she knows me and she knows all of my childhood again and she’s all right there in front of me and yet she’s so far away. I’m never going to get all the time I want with her and it’s really hard to accept.”

He shares things with her that he doesn’t even tell his therapist. Because his therapist doesn’t hold him like a child against her chest and tell him he’s okay when he get’s upset.

Y/N loves him, so she kisses his forehead, “I’m so sorry, I have 2 moms if you’d like to have one?”

“It’s okay, I would love to meet them sometime though,” he wraps his arms around her waist a little tighter under the water. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Did I mention my leg is 44 inches from hip to toe?” She asks in the middle of the silence, quoting pretty woman, knowing he hasn’t seen that far into the movie yet. “So basically we’re talking about 88 inches of therapy for the bargain price of $800 dollars a week.”

Her legs wrap around him and their naked bodies are closer than they’ve ever been and yet it’s completely platonic, “I’d spend a million dollars on you if it always meant feeling this good after.”

She runs her cheek along his wet hair as he snuggles into her neck, “mmm, I like the sound of that,” she teased. “My million dollar man.”

Her stop rolls around and she pulls herself out of her day dreams to get off the train and head to her meeting. She smiles as she walks through the station, up the stairs and onto the busy downtown streets when she gets a text with Spencers special chime. She opens it when she gets to where she’s going, safely inside and in the waiting room.

It makes her laugh in the waiting room. People look at her but she doesn’t care, he’s so special to her she feels butterflies in her stomach even when he’s not around.

“Y/N!” She hears her name being called by her editor, he’s over ecstatic as he comes running out to get her. “Come, come we have so many choices to make!” He jumps up and down as he holds her arm, like a child in a candy store.

“Andy, chill man,” she laughs at him and plays it cool, “It’s just the cover being finalized.”

“It’s our baby!” He teases back, pushing his glasses up and tugging her behind the glass doors of the office.

She’s surrounded by people and paper and huge versions of her book cover. She has a sharpie as she fixed mistakes and jots down final ideas. “And I wan’t Phil to look more human and less like data from Star Trek?”

“But Dorothy looks okay?” The artist asks, nervously and Y/N can tell.

“She looks beautiful! You really brought her justice,” she smiles, “really she looks the same in my head! It’s just Phil and I’m sure it’s tough getting a drawing to look like a robotic human, let alone human.”

“I have some ideas?” She opens up more, taking her iPad out and sliding it across the table, “I wanted to give him more of a Sophia feel? His face is silicone but his joints and everything are more like an Elon Musk crash dummy.”

“That’s perfect!” She’s shocked, “why didn’t that go in the first draft?”

“I was worried it was too much,” she’s a little older than Y/N, and yet her anxiety is that of a teenage girl. “I’m going to get working on the final, do you want some emailed versions tonight?”

“Yes please,” she smiles.

“So we’re done?” Andy asks, “we’ve made all our final calls?”

“I believe we have,” Y/N closes her laptop and takes her phone out, taking a photo of the final rough sketch of her book cover on the table to send to Spencer before he comes to pick her up. She can’t wait to see him now.

—

They’re sitting side by side in matching spa robes, he’s getting a pedicure while she gets her nails done. Leaning back in her chair with a face mask and cucumbers on her eyes, she’s never felt more relaxed in her life. And just in time too, her back was killing her from writing, her knuckles hurt and she just needed a break.

Spencer did too, he was genuinely not having a good time at work anymore, every case made him spiral and he always looked to Y/N on days like that. They met more than once a week now, she got $800 every Friday and she didn’t even really need it anymore. He was coving for so much of her bills and lively hood that her savings account was growing and growing because of him.

For the first time in her life she thought she would be okay if a man left her. As terrible as it was, as much as her moms tried to raise her differently, she fell down the daddy issues rabbit hole and she’s never going to find her way out— however, luckily for her, Spencer is down here too, and he brought a flashlight.

He understands her, more than anyone else on earth. He knows all her secrets, every crush and bad grade and snide remark she’s ever kept to herself. He didn’t judge her, he could actually listen to her issues and tell her why she had them. He gave better advice than a therapist and he was able to get information for her if he didn’t know the answer to what she was going through.

He’s absolutely everything to her and yet he’s 14 years older than her, he’s still traumatized beyond belief, he’s sad and ashamed and recovering… but he’s the best man in the whole world and she wishes he could see that. If he just looked at himself from her eyes, if he felt how she did in her soul when they were together, he’d love himself.

They’re too relaxed to drive home, and Spencer knew that would happen beforehand, bringing her a change of clothes (lingerie) and that robe me mentioned. He books a hotel above the spa and takes her to it. Arms linked as they enter the suite, she’s amazed to find more than one gift bag on the bed.

“How many gifts is this now?”

“We’re at 5 out of 24.”

She laughs as she wraps her arms around him in a thank you hug, “this is what you consider 4 gifts? Spencer there are like 8 things on the bed, let alone the massage and manicure?”

“If you think this is too much I guess you’re going to get really mad next week,” he teases as she looks up at him with a surprised look on her face.

“Spencer, I am so busy next week, I cannot be galavanting around with my sugar daddy,” she tries to act like she doesn’t want to go on an adventure with him again.

The last trip they took was the best week of her life. They went to all the historical sites in the UK that she and Spencer had talked about. Mainly old churches and castles, strange poets graves, random art and most importantly; stone henge. It was a trip of a lifetime and he took it with her.

“I watched the rest of Pretty Woman the other day,” he smiles, “and I thought I’d pull an Edward Lewis and really surprise you because you deserve it.”

“You know how the movie ends, right?” Her heart beats really fast in her chest and she wants him to love her so bad but it’s also terrifying now that she’s this close.

“He lets her choose,” he whispers.

“He rescues her,” she corrects him.

“And she rescues him right back,” he really did watch the end of the movie.

It makes her heart skip a beat as she swallows sharply, “what does this mean for us?”

“I have a whole plan, a whole sequence of events I want to stick to. I wanted to make you fall in love with me this week and ask you on your birthday, can we still do that?” He pleads with her, he’s so serious. He’s clearly put a lot of effort into this.

“Absolutely,” she smiles, “but if you’re going to make me wait that long for you to ask, you still can’t kiss me till then. No matter how much I already love you.”

“Really?” He’s so soft with her, she knows he’s not reacting to the teasing. He’s never had someone tell him they love him and then stay after.

“I would never lie to you about that, spence. I know what love means to you, I know how scared you are and I’m scared too. But I know there is no one else in the whole world I’d rather be scared with than you,” she holds him tighter and rubs her nose against his, “so what’s in the bags, daddy? Finish your surprise.”

She plays along perfectly, stepping back and hauling him towards the bed. “I got you some outfits and things for the next 2 weeks, we have a few things planned. We’re going on a flight soon, I have new luggage being delivered to your apartment this week and we’re going to see your moms for 3 days.”

“No,” she shakes her head, “there’s no way, Spencer, I haven’t seen them in 5 years, I’m going to cry.”

“I know,” he cups her jaw with his hand. “They’re really excited to see you.”

She hugs him tight, kissing his neck as she holds him. “Thank you, daddy, do you want me to put something on for you now?”

“I’m just going to take it off you, plus, what your wearing is sexy enough, he whispers back. “You’re always so beautiful, baby.”

“I thought you were saving the best for last?” She asks as she pulls back, overly eager and he can tell.

“I want to repay the favour from the other night.”

She doesn’t mean to gasp and yet she does, “please?”

He pulls on the tie of her robe, opening it enough to snake a hand behind her back and draw her in with a hand on her bare back. “Please what?”

“Please, daddy?” She looks up with her best begging eyes, perfect pout and all. “I want you to touch me, I promise I’ll be a good girl.”

He steps away from her to swipe all the bags off the bed before picking her up and laying her back against the pillows. He kisses down her body, hand on her lover back as she arches, he drags his bottom lip from her belly button to her cleavage. Nipping and sucking at the exposed skin on her chest, pulling her breasts out of the bra to suck on her nipples, she moans and it’s louder than she expected.

As she plays with his hair, he marks her, bruising small little love bites all the way down as he makes his way between her legs, “take me, please?”

He’s been dreaming of this for so long, he can’t even give you an accurate number of times his mind has drifted to the thought of how wonderful she would taste, how beautiful she’d sound…

“Tell me how badly you want me?” He asks as he spreads her legs and kisses her left thigh.

“I haven’t had sex in 10 months while waiting for you. Daddy, please you’ve owned me for so long, just take what’s yours already for gods sa- OH!”

With a broad lick, his tongue flattens against her core and it shuts her up. She gets what she wants, holding into his hair as she tosses her head back, taking it all in and enjoying it. He’s been on her mind for months, every time her vibrator was where he is now, she thought of him. he’s been the man of her dreams longer than she’s known him, and he was proving it.

“Right there, daddy,” she speaks through shallow breaths, “do you know how much I’ve thought of this?”

“You know I don’t,” the vibrations of his voice against her skin are glorious, he looks up at her through his lashes as his tongue flicks over her clit and she shakes a bit.

“Fuck,” she gasps, gripping his hair tighter, “better than I thought you’d be, fuck, too bad you— Jesus, don’t have the stash anymore…”

He stops and looks up at her, the smirk on his face glistening with her juices, “the stash?”

She nods, “I’ve thought about calling it the pussy tickler,” she teases, running her hand down his cheek and swiping her thumb across his bottom lip before bringing it up to her mouth to taste, “I want more of you.”

He kisses back up her body and she reaches for his robe the second he’s close enough. “Just grind against me? I know you’re waiting but we can still feel good together?”

He kisses the side of her mouth and she takes that as a yes, wrapping her legs around him so his hard cock is pressed right against her core as they move their hips in synchronicity with each other. His breathing is heavy as he kisses her cheek and jaw, her nails scratch down his back, he feels absolutely amazing against her.

She feels so empty, she wants him so bad she’s clenching around nothing as she squirms against his cock and wishes she was full.

“I wish I could move time,” she whispers. “Fuck, why can’t it be my birthday?”

He laughs against her, grazing his teeth over her neck and drawing another moan from her but then he stops moving his hips, “why are you so impatient?”

“Remember I said I stopped enjoying everything? Well, taking a 10 month break from sex and thinking about you every time I got off has made me desperate,” her hand cups his cheek, “I’d wait forever for you, but a girl needs to be fucked hard every once in a while.”

Only she could find a way to make something both profoundly beautiful and whorish at the same time, he loved her for it and she knew that now. He smiles and leaned in to rub his nose against hers and it takes everything in her not to kiss him. The same way it was taking everything in him not to slip into her as he began to grind against her once more.

She’s so close, the accidental edging has added a whole new level of desperation she’s never felt before. She wants to cum for him so bad, but more importantly she wants him to cum for her.

“Take my bra off,” she whispers, Spencer’s hands travel behind her back to unclasp it and he helps her out of it before tossing it to the floor.

“Cum for me daddy,” she whispers in his head with a hand in his hair, gripping him tightly as he bites at her neck, “cover me with your cum like you’re marking your territory.”

“Shit,” his hips sputter against hers.

“Say it, I know you want to,” she teases, so close to the edge but it’s too good of an opportunity. She loves seeing him fall apart like this and she can’t wait to see it again. “Who’s am I?”

“Daddy’s girl.”

He grinds down on her harder and faster and she’s so close, the bubble in her gut is reaching a fever pitch and with a gasp, she’s cumming and then she feels it. His load covers her stomach as he pants against her neck and grips her hips tighter as he comes down.

She wraps her arms around him and holds him as close as humanly possible, her breathing still heavy as he rises and falls on her chest. He’s heavy but she doesn’t care, she just kisses the top of his head and thanks him.

He brushes his nose against her neck, nuzzling her like a cat, “do you really mean it?”

“What, honey?” He remembers so much, this could be a question about something she said 2 months or 2 minutes ago and she has no clue.

“You’re not just playing along with my kinks right, you genuinely want to be mine?”

For being her million dollar man, his heart sure was broke. This is why he wasn’t ready, he still didn’t understand why she would want to stay without anything in return, he’s gotten so used to paying her for her time now that his anxiety has managed to convince him that she’ll leave when he stops being worth it to her.

“What does my necklace say?” She asks, knowing how close he was to it. “Read it to me, I forget.”

“Daddy’s girl,” he smiles again.

She soothes her hands over his back, “I would do anything with you because I love and trust you, but also because everything you do is sexy… you could read me the dictionary and I’d still want you to pump me full of cum after.”

“It sounds so crude after,” he laughs, “speaking of, we really need to have a shower.”

“I’ll wash your back if you wash mine?” She teases as he gets up.

“Only if you let me wash the front too?”

She smacks his bare ass and races him into the bathroom, turning on the water and getting in with him while still laughing and carrying on. He’s her best friend in the whole world, there’s no one else she would rather do this with… there was no one she has done this with. No one has made her feel this good, before during and after sex.

Spencer Reid was an anomaly, but he was hers.

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Sugar daddy fic (Some tags didn't work)

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[suicidalslasher]

forever & always. ➤ tom. h.

Happy Valentine’s Day~!!! I couldn’t contain myself and or stop myself from writing about my favorite Valentine’s day killer. So, here you go :)

WARNING: descriptions of gore and blood. in this one-shot, the reader’s pronouns are she&her.  i might make a part two of this, depending on how well it does. maybe not. i like how it ends, regardless. either way. enjoy.

The news spread like wildfire. No matter which way you went, there was always a flame, reaching out towards those to burn. Try as you may, you can't get away. The words that littered the air was nothing more than burnt ashes fluttering around, burning each object as it flies above said thing or said person. In this case, the people of a small town called Valentine Bluffs were the ones burning from the inside and out. They felt trapped within the smoke, unable to seek out which way to escape the dangers that had followed.   The terror; the trauma; the panic and anxiety attacks; All of it - they thought it was long gone.... they were finally going back to being normal, how things used to be. 

They were going back to a life that wasn't full of fear, having to look behind your shoulder constantly and being careful of who you trust. It was all going to be okay, happy once more. They'd finally be able to celebrate their favorite day once again.  But... as you may have guessed, it's not quite  easy to put out a rapid wildfire. All it takes is a small fire to expand out into something bigger, bolder, and scarier. You can't escape the flames. No matter how big or small. You cannot ignore the overwhelming burning sensation that  glazes across your skin as the fire around you grows larger, making you feel smaller and smaller by the second.  The words, however, the statement that was fluttering around like specks of ash,  wasn't at all a sentence (nor an actual fire)  but a name - Harry Warden.  1997. Valentine's day. Everybody, in & out of town, knows what happened.  For a brief period of time there, nobody celebrated Valentine's day, having thought it out to be cursed.  Yet, as time went on, there was no sign of Harry Warden. No copy cat killer version of him, neither. So, the people went back to celebrating. Writing hand written love letters,  buying cheaply made cards at the local supermarket, buying and or receiving overly priced chocolates. Anything, everything, people did it with  love in their hearts and a smile on their face.  Today was Valentine's Day, once more. Expect it wasn't the way it had been for the past 9 years. It was exactly like the day in 1997. History was repeating itself.  Instead of love, presents, and reserved dinner dates being celebrated and shared, the town of Valentine Bluffs  got decomposed, rotting corpses,  instead. Blood scattered outside and inside of buildings. 

  It was worse than before, more bodies were showing up without their hearts and the missing body piece would be found neatly placed in between a plastic heart shaped box. All of which would be sent to the police station as a joke, as  a threat.  Even a card would be taped on top or under the container, though the sentences were far from cheerful and loveable.  A few of them had been thrown aside, only having been read once. Those who opened it and read it aloud usually found themselves cringing in dismay  as they read the paragraph out loud all while  shifting around in their seat, uncomfortably.  

Once they read it, they shook their heads as tears welled up in their eyes before they threw it into the trash bin or ripped it into hundreds of tiny pieces, not daring to open another letter that's brought in. Evidence or not, the workers couldn't keep their breakfast or lunch down when they'd read the cards.  The recent two cards had said;  From the heart comes a warning, filled with bloody good cheer, remember what happened as the 14th draws near!  And the last victim, a girl named Maryanne Anderson, had gotten a card right before she was found dead, her body laying in a ditch to rot.  Her card had read; Roses are red, violets are blue, one is dead, and so are you.  Nobody knew who the new killer was, or if it even was a new killer, copying Harry's schemes and following in his footsteps.  It could have very well been  the same man all those years ago. That's what they were saying.   (Y/N) (L/N) was in her car, driving back home from work when her favorite song had been replaced with an alarm, cutting off her favorite part. "Oh, c'mon!" She groaned, hands hitting the steering wheel in annoyance  before she goes to turn up the volume anyways, wondering what's so important that the town and the police station had to turn off her favorite song. 

She knew about the murders, she knew there was a serial killer around, she already knew this already. And yes, she was petrified, as most people were. When the first body showed up, the mayor of town announced there'd be a curfew until they found out who is doing all of this. Whether it was one person or more, they'd find a way to capture the killer. No matter what. There was not going to be another murder.

 (Of course, there was more.) 

 (The original curfew was getting home at 9:30. Now, it had gone down and you'd have to be indoors, at your house, by 6:30 PM.)  Students in school would get out earlier, as well as the adults in town. The only ones who didn't get to go home so early in the day were those who were trying to protect the people of Valentine Bluffs.  "We are sorry to interrupt that song there," came the  radio host's deep and groggy voice. "However, this is more important than your favorite throwback jams. I've gotten an officer here with me, he had just shown up not even a second ago to tell us more news on the situation we are currently in. So, please, listen carefully."  "Yeah, whatever. I already know what's going on. Tell me something I don't know." (Y/N)  turns off the radio as she pulls up in her driveway, feeling a sense of comfort clouding over her, another day, she's okay; safe and sound, unlike a few of her old high school friends that were gutted like fish and butchered like pigs. 

She shivers at both the bitter and harsh wind brushing against her  as she steps out of her vehicle and the obvious visual of whatever masked man (or men) that's around, killing innocent people for whatever given reason.  Hurrying along the steps to her porch, she digs her keys out of her jacket pocket, finding them within seconds before she's pushing them into the door as quickly as she could. She didn't show it, tried not to show it, but she was as anxious and paranoid as everyone else was. 

(Y/N) was  trying to hold back her fear but the moment she gets home, locking all the doors and windows, the uneasy feelings creep up on her and every negative emotion takes charge.     With a sigh, she falls down onto the couch with a plop, reaching for the remote, she turns on the TV, attempting to try and get her mind off of things.  Of course, every station wasn't what she wanted to watch, the news replacing every channel.  She skipped and skipped but it all remained the exact same. With a groan, she decides to listen to what they were saying, even though she really didn't want to hear it as it'd only make her anxiety worse.  "I am Jonathan Godfrey. We're sorry to interrupt your daily scheduled programs, however, a man you may know as Tom Hanniger has escaped from his stay from a mental hospital."  (Y/N)'s eyes nearly budge out of her head at the mention of the man's name,  the remote she had in the palm of her hand goes flying, falling down onto the ground by her feet. Tom? Mental hospital? It didn't make any sense! Everyone... including her, thought he was dead! She, with shaky fingers, grabs the remote to turn the volume up.   Jonathan's own eyes were wide as he read the teleprompter, his voice now grew shaky as he spoke. Fear was written across both his and his co-worker’s face. "Unfortunately, we don't have any more information or news as to where he's escaped off to. Or where he may be as of the moment. All the reports, every last piece of information we have been received  has said he's been missing since two days ago.  He can be anywhere.  More importantly, he can be here, hiding out." His voice trembled as he spoke, it was also very faint - almost ghostly. Quiet as a mouse. His skin was pale, making it appear as if he was a ghost rather than a living person that sat in the chair there.  

 Jonathan couldn't continue, this much was obvious, therefore his co-host, Abigail Miller, continued where he had left off.    "This being said, please, lock the doors and windows of your home. If you have a weapon to guard your own life and protect your ground, get it out now. Please, protect yourself the very best you can. And do not, I repeat, do not answer the door. Do not leave your home whatsoever. Whatever is outside of your house is surely not more important than your life.  

“Whether it is Tom that has been doing this or not, we're not exactly sure. All we tell you is to be careful and remain indoors until we can find Tom and or find the Valentine's killer. This has been Jonathan Godfrey and Abigail Miller, with the news. Stay safe and God bless." The program that was previously playing showed up finally, the neon colors swirling together to form the title of the show, along with a fairly way too cheerful theme song playing faintly in the distance as the introduction played out. (Y/N) had never heard of it before, but from a quick glance, it appeared to be a sitcom from the late 70's.  The only source of light was coming from the television screen, casting colorful shadows across (Y/N)'s face. She had felt too tired to have turned on the lights upon entering her house. Work was short, the hours having grown thinner because of the curfew, however, it was still tiring all the same.  She instantly regretted not doing so now, however. 

She sat in the dark, her heart thumping loudly against her chest as she pulled a near by blanket around her shoulders as if the thick fabric would comfort her and protect her. The room had gotten colder ever since the report was announced. Goosebumps ran up and down (Y/N)'s body, the baby hairs on her neck stood on end as a shiver slid up and down her spine. Despite the blanket being around her body, she felt nothing but cold, numb. Suddenly, the TV went out with a soft 'ping'.    (Y/N) gasped and her heart stopped beating all together.  She felt like she couldn't breathe, she couldn't tell if she was going crazy either when she heard what sounded like  footsteps coming down from the hallway. She sat, frozen, on her couch, unable to move, unable to breathe.  Then.... a knock. Followed by another and another. It was right outside, coming from not the front entrance but the back yard. "(Y/N)? (Y/N), please..." came the voice.  ​​​​​​​And (Y/N) recognized that voice anywhere.  She knows she shouldn't.... everybody said not to but... she couldn't help herself.  Getting up as quickly as she could, she runs down the hallway, the sounds of her feet echoing against the thin walls as she reaches the door, tugging it open.   There, on the other half of the door, stood nobody other than Tom Hanniger himself.   He looked up, surprised she had answered the door.  Giving her a weak, lopsided smile,  Tom's pulling her into a tight hug, his head falling down in the crook between her shoulder and neck, tears flooding his eyes as he soaks her shirt, silently weeping. "(Y/N).... fuck, I've missed you so much, missed you so bad." Tom confesses with a sniffle.  "Tom... I- what're you doing here? They're looking for you, you know this, right? Everybody's looking for you. And.... and I- fuck, Tom! I thought you were dead. Everybody in town thought you died the day your father did." (Y/N) didn't hesitate to hide her true feelings. She was a mixture of emotions. Angry, happy, sad, scared - she was feeling every single emotion there possibly was. "I know... I know. I-I have a lot to explain and a lot to tell you but please, right now, can we just- can we just play pretend?" He asked, moving away from her shoulder as he wiped his nose on the sleeve of his sweater, his eyes remained watery and his skin was flushed as he looked up at (Y/N).  (Y/N) guessed it was a mixture of three things - running away from the mental hospital to where her house was to  the bitter and harsh February air. Plus, the crying he had just done, too. His face was red and blotchy from all three. Despite it being so cold, sweat trickled his face, a few drips of it falling along side his cheeks. "Play pretend?" (Y/N) echoed, tilting her head to the side, unsure of what he meant.  "Let's play pretend." He repeated, licking his lips. "Let's play pretend and imagine none of this horrid, crazed shit is going on right now. Let's pretend it's only me and you. It's Valentine's day, isn't it? Let's celebrate. After all, it was one of our favorite days to spend together."  Heat rose to (Y/N)'s cheeks and she bit on her bottom lip, rocking back and forth on the bottom of her feet.  "Tom.... I-I'm...You want-" She couldn't from sentences, her thoughts were mushing together and it was all too much for her to handle. She felt like she was going to pass out. "I want you, (Y/N). I want you as bad as I did then and I want you just as badly right  now. There has never been a day where I wasn't thinking about you. You were the love of my life. I still love you, maybe even more, now. Let's celebrate, please. We can talk about everything tomorrow morning. I promise I'll tell you everything.  Right now, let's play pretend, let's act like it's just us again, like when we were teens.... I've missed you. And.... and I know you've missed me too or else you wouldn't have opened the door." And, yeah, okay, he was right.  "Tom..."  "(Y/N)." He stepped closer to her, closer than he had done before, as he rests his hand against her cheek, fingers brushing against her skin as he looked into her (E/C) eyes.  "I love you. I never stopped. And I know you love me, too.... so, please, baby girl.... can I just show you how much I love you?" (Y/N) shouldn't have answered the door. She should have called the cops when she heard his voice. Everything was too much of a  coincidence. 

Her power was working perfectly fine until Tom had shown up. 

Now that she was thinking about it.... 

There was also no victims until she had heard the news Tom had left the asylum. Three days ago.... 

Three days ago, there was the first victim; Maryanne.  If she thought too much about it, got too deep into the rabbit hole, she would have assumed Tom Hanniger was the Valentine's killer - The Miner.  Yet... looking at Tom, she knew he wasn't - couldn't - be the killer. If he was, he would've killed her too, right? Tom Hanniger's been through too much, and just like she was there before, she was going to be there for him now. Through Hell and back.  

She would stay by his side, no matter what. She still kept the old promise ring he had given her in high school, along with the note in which he confessed his feelings. In which, he told her - one day - he'd marry her. She was the perfect girl for him, as he was the perfect man for her.  A promise is a promise. When she said 'forever and always', she meant that. (Y/N) knew Tom meant it, too.  "I love you too."   Tom's quick to place his lips on (Y/N)'s and (Y/N) is quick to kiss him back just as hungry, just as fierce. She tangles  her fingers through her hair and pulls on it, earning a groan from Tom. Satisfied with the result, she tugs him into her house by the sleeve of his shirt, slamming the door shut with her foot. 

"I've missed you, baby." He says, not daring to pull away from the kiss.

"Show me how much you've missed me then, baby." She mumbles against his lips. "Oh, I'm going to."  "Let's go celebrate Valentine's day the right way then. Come on, let's go upstairs."   Tom grins and  (Y/N) smiles back before she's pulling him up the stairs and into her bedroom. 

Forever and Always. It was them until the end. Nobody would ever separate the two of them, again.... not even Harry Warden was going to destroy Tom’s happiness... not this time.

[southslates]

like an angry god

@kanejweek day four: darkness (corrupted ambition) / kanej / canon divergence - soulmates - one-shot - rated T / read on ao3! / 2007 words

Inej Ghafa comes to Ketterdam as part of a traveling circus. She doesn’t mean to enjoy the city, with its sharp architecture and cold edges, with its people who pray to kruge, but she does. There is something haunting in its corridors, something which whispers to her in its alleys. Inej is a gravity-defying girl, she is an acrobat and nothing more, but these late-night Kerch streets set fire to her bones. It is as if Ghezen has come alive to speak to her and tell her she could be more.

It's strange because she thinks she has everything. She also feels like she is missing something—not something that needs to be there, but some defining feature of her. She feels like she is spinning a wheel with a loose axel.

Ironically, she stumbles upon the Crow Club when Malik takes her in, wanting to try his hand at Makker’s Wheel. She indulges her cousin and lets him drag her into the lively business in the darkest hours of the night, knowing that they’re on break tomorrow. The Suli do not forbid fun, and they drink, Inej has drunk, but she does not want to in this strange city.

She ends up drinking anyway. She is caught up in the moment, caught up in the lights above the table, the large, large gambling hall, and almost in Salim, the friend Malik had brought with him to the club. Inej likes him, has always liked him, and the sight of him loosens her inhibitions. They loosen her inhibitions so far that she forgets him.

Inej wanders off across the hall, stopping to see the sheer variety of people who habit it: a white splatter of the upper-middle class of the Kerch, lazing away a Saturday; a collection of young children from Novyi Zem, laughing away in the corner; even a splashing of Fjerdans, staying away from alcohol and looking distrustfully at the numbers in front of them. It’s an experience, she can admit even halfway down her glass, eyes shining.

At some point she wanders over to a setting of Kerch men and women playing a game she doesn’t quite understand; they’re holding chips and laughing, cards dancing in front of their eyes. Inej has always been a quick study with these gambling games, though she detests playing; it’s something else the city has whispered into her mind, perhaps. It is the Ketterdam in her blood, though she’s certain she has never been here before. She has never been here before.

She sits at the table and picks up another glass. She will be fine; Malik and Salim are truly not that far away, she can see them from here. A women smiles at her with shark-teeth, daring her to down the cup in accented Kerch. Something in Inej does it, and then when she’s slid another one, she downs it again. Her eyes are uncharacteristically bright at the table, her head muddy.

It's only a moment later she’s in someone’s lap, between two people. It is the Kerch woman and another man, fitting her in the space between them. The woman’s hair is a rusty gold and the man has black hair and a gold tooth.

Inej may have drank too much, but she isn’t stupid. She blinks and sees that Malik and Salim are gone from her line of sight—then she promptly sits up, a bit more aware of her surroundings. This is not a situation she is new to; she’s almost been taken by slavers as a child. They had ransacked her family’s caravan near the Ravkan shore and would have stolen her away from her family had she not woken up early. She has learned to be suspicious of people, and she let her guard down. It’s this saints-forsaken city, she thinks briefly. It is affecting some part of me.

“Hey, sweetheart,” the man whispers with whiskey breath, and Inej pulls herself into the space between the bodies she is caged in, ready to pull one of her acrobatic feats—twist her body, do the unimaginable. But before she does and the woman’s vodka-laced breath rushes across her face, something hard clangs down on the table in front of her.

Inej is only human, so the sound makes her lurch. The tablecloth moves forward, and something shatters and then leaks onto her on the bench. She groans, because alcohol will not go well with the cottons she’d donned for a night out.

“Peter,” a voice says crisply. “Lotte. You are not welcome here. Did I not make that clear enough last time?”

The bodies next to Inej scramble away from her, and she looks up in her disorientation to see a man who can’t be much older than her, a cane in his hand bisecting the table and separating her from Lotte on her left. On her right, Peter has shifted away from her and is now standing up, raising his hands above him. “We didn’t mean nothin’, I promise—”

“I don’t give second chances,” the man says, and his voice is cold, so cold it almost crawls into Inej’s spine and then leaves her body, but icy enough that it wants to make a place there. His voice is the city’s whispers in her ears, the biddings of greed. She is buzzed, but she still looks at his sharp suit and glaring eyes and thinks: Who are you?

Or perhaps she voiced that thought out loud. No matter; the man ignores her, watching as Peter and Lotte stand up and try to leave the premises. Inej lets the whiskey on the table, cold as it is, leak into her shirt as she watches two large men grab the two vermin by their collars and drag them away to some corner.

“Wow,” she says out loud at the brief spectacle—some patrons have turned to see the two get carted off, but more seem unsurprised. “I was fine.”

“Who said anything about you?” the man bites. “There are no games here. There is no place for cheats.”

Inej is straightforward, and her filters are off as she wrings out her shirt. “You could at least pretend to be chivalrous.”

The man glares at her, his gaze dark and intense and dangerous—but for whatever reason, Inej doesn’t feel like it will cut through her. Maybe that is just the stupidity of being drunk. The longer he stares at her, the more she wants to laugh. “You cannot kill me by looking at me, you know.”

He says nothing, just takes his cane off the table and begins to limp away from her. Inej bites her lip and stares at his receding back—that moment had felt strangely powerful.

“Yer brave,” the girl next to her says after he has disappeared from sight, into a door at the club’s side. “To talk to Kaz Brekker like that.”

“Who?” Inej asks, and the boy next to her, keeping his distance after what had happened to the woman in his previous position, looks almost affronted.

“He is Kaz Brekker, Ja. They say he has played cards with the devil and won,” he says, like he is speaking of a myth, and not the twenty-year-old man with a ridiculous glare Inej had faced just moments ago. “He used to be better, ja, growing up on the streets. But he culled his boss right las’ week, he did. Hung his body from the lighthouse by First Harbor. They say he will commit any sin, without a price. Bloodthirsty.”

Inej leans in close to him, feels something lock into place, the gears of her heart. “Really?” she asks. “He just seems like a man.”

“He is no man, he is a demon. A quick thief, too,” the girl nods to her, and Inej grasps at her pockets. Her coinpurse is missing.

“An immature demon,” she says, stepping up, her head spinning just a bit. “Cheap tricks, for shevrati.”

Inej Ghafa leaves them there and takes the path that the man with the cane had followed; he couldn’t have gotten too far from her, with his disability. Ostensibly, she knows she should not be trying to pick a fight in the middle of the night with a man who just hung another in a public display, but the city is speaking to her; the club is, as though it has a heart. Inej believes in saints, and they are leading her a certain way, giving her the want to get her coinpurse back. It had a sizeable amount of kruge, and she refuses to be made a fool of.

The hallway is dark and she follows its walls to a set of stairs, and then walks up them. At the end there is a door, and to its side, when she moves her hand a certain way, another small alley; a trick alley. She follows that aisle to another door, wooden and locked and in the pitch dark. She shoves her body weight against it.

She doesn’t know what she is planning on doing. Do demons give you back your money if you ask them nicely? What is inserting this drive into her veins?

“What?” a voice roars from inside the room, and then a moment later, as Inej pushes herself against it, it opens. She almost trips onto a cold metal floor, but she doesn’t—she is an acrobat, even sheets to the wind. So she rights herself and turns to the man with the cane—Kaz Brekker.

“You,” he says, distaste coating his mouth. There is no good intent hidden in that word, nor in the hard lines of his face. Whoever this man is, he is not good.

“Me,” Inej agrees, then holds out her hand. “My coinpurse, please.”

“Your . . . coinpurse,” the man says, her face twitching. He is wearing a hat and a suit perfectly tailored to all his edges, a glass man. Inej wonders if she could break him. “Why would I have such a thing?”

“You do,” Inej insists. Of this, she is certain. She’s had it until he was just a foot behind her. “Give it back.”

“You’re very demanding,” he says. Inej wonders if he can feel a pull towards her, like she does for him. His face is surely not giving anything away. “You must be new.”

“I’m visiting,” Inej says, some sort of fear starting to creep into her voice. Perhaps the liquid courage has left her soul in a flush—perhaps the city is no longer with her. She can feel it drifting around her bones, maybe leaving. It is as though it has filled the strange place in her soul with something, not left her empty.

He leans into her—he doesn’t leer, not in a way that is lewd, but in a way that is certainly dangerous. “Well, then, my dear visitor,” he says the word like a curse, “you would do well to leave now, before I break your legs for coming to my office without permission.” His eyes scan her, perfunctorily, and Inej can only dream she sees something below the surface. “You need your legs. Or perhaps you can walk a rope with your hands,” he sneers.

Then he slams the door in Inej’s face. The city escapes her, returns back for its sins, disturbs her edges. I have shown you a story, she can feel it whisper, from the wrong end, wrong beginning.

She slides out of the secret corridor and down into the busy club. The Crow Club, it’s called. The largest building in the Stave. She wonders if the foundation was built on a demon’s work. She wonders why she feels like she should know, why there is a haunting space in her mind.

Inej wonders who Kaz Brekker is. She wonders why her saints guided her towards a demon, what they were trying to tell her.

She wonders how he knows she performs on the rope.

[tatticstudio55]

An excellent example of POV bias we have in Dany’s storyline is Groleo.

Groleo is sent by Illyrio with ships to bring Dany back to Pentos. Dany accepts the ships (it’s either that or go beggar again) but decides that they should be put to other uses. I don’t feel bad for Illyrio, but I feel bad for Groleo. I can’t help it. Groleo got involved more or less against his will in an anti-slavery war, got his ship destroyed so that they could build a ram with the wood, and ended up beheaded by the sons of the Harpy.

It’s not that Dany has malicious intents towards Groleo, or that her reasons for building the ram were bad ones (they weren’t; she took Meereen because the freedmen who followed her would starve to death otherwise) and indeed, she does sympathize with his situation, as well as understand why he’s angry with her:

Groleo had been a most unhappy man since they had broken up his ship to build the siege engines that won Meereen for her. Dany had tried to console him by naming him her lord admiral, but it was a hollow honor; the Meereenese fleet had sailed for Yunkai when Dany's host approached the city, so the old Pentoshi was an admiral without ships. (Dany III, ADWD)

"I am a sailor, not a shipwright. I was sent to fetch Your Grace back to Pentos. Instead you brought us here and tore my Saduleon to pieces for some nails and scraps of wood. I will never see her like again. I may never see my home again, nor my old wife. It was not me who refused the ships this Daxos offered. I cannot fight the Qartheen with fishing boats." His bitterness dismayed her, so much so that Dany found herself wondering if the grizzled Pentoshi could be one of her three betrayers. No, he is only an old man, far from home and sick at heart. "There must be something we can do." (Dany V, ADWD)

But it’s also clear from early on that Groleo’s best interests aren’t Dany’s top priority, and that she, well, may have forgotten that the ship belonged to him, not her:

Captain Groleo was an old Pentoshi like his master, Illyrio Mopatis, and he had been nervous as a maiden about carrying three dragons on his ship. Half a hundred buckets of seawater still hung from the gunwales, in case of fires. At first Groleo had wanted the dragons caged and Dany had consented to put his fears at ease, but their misery was so palpable that she soon changed her mind and insisted they be freed. (Dany I, ASOS)

And because we never get a chapter from Groleo’s POV, this is easily overlooked. Hey, Dany isn’t perfect. I could write a similar post about Arya’s POV bias when she manipulates Hot Pie and Gendry into fleeing Harrenhal with her. Or Bran’s POV bias when he justifies to himself why it’s ok to warg Hodor. Or Asha’s POV bias in Deepwood Motte (the attackers aren’t the intruders; she is). Doesn’t mean that I expect Martin to “pull the rug” on us with any of these characters. Dude, they’re grey like everybody else, and they all have more white than black.

These are examples of POV bias.

This isn’t:

Slaves, Dany thought. Khal Drogo would drive them downriver to one of the towns on Slaver's Bay. She wanted to cry, but she told herself that she must be strong. This is war, this is what it looks like, this is the price of the Iron Throne.

Let’s quote the whole thing:

Behind them, the girl being raped made a heartrending sound, a long sobbing wail that went on and on and on. Dany's hand clenched hard around the reins, and she turned the silver's head. "Make them stop," she commanded Ser Jorah.

"Khaleesi?" The knight sounded perplexed.

"You heard my words," she said. "Stop them." She spoke to her khas in the harsh accents of Dothraki. "Jhogo, Quaro, you will aid Ser Jorah. I want no rape." (Dany VII, AGOT)

 A POV bias is a POV bias, not a court testimony that has no value unless it’s corroborated by 5-6 other witnesses. For God’s sake.

[balsee]

here take these five and miko headcanons because i love everything about them:

okay so it’s obvious that miko and five are totally affectionate with each other

they’re constantly seen hanging off one another and they don’t even really notice it until someone points it out

mitch: the fact that you guys spend nearly every minute together just screams co-dependence

miko: sounds like SOMEONE is being a hater because they can’t do this-- *falls backwards into five’s arms.*

they make it a point to hang off each other in increasingly weird poses just to irritate him

five lifts miko over his head and carries her around whenever mitch is around

mitch: i didn’t know you could do that with arms that skinny

five, visibly sweating and red-faced, but refusing to put miko down: workouts are pointless when it comes to friendship

lunch breaks definitely consist of them getting spaghetti in a bucket and blasting dubstep while they drive

five’s grandparents have referred to miko as, “the cute girl with the crazy hair” on several occasions

mayumi: five seems like a responsible young man with a good head on his shoulders, doesn’t he?

miko, remembering the time five chugged three extra large slushies on a dare and got sick in the car: yup! totally! :)

whenever they have downtime miko lets ally walk around in headquarters

nobody else seems to mind except mitch as usual

mitch: i don’t understand why you have to let that bird run around headquarters like that, it’s very unprofessional

miko: he’s talking, ally! I told you that’s the attack command!

despite miko taking better care of her, ally still tends to eat whatever is put in front of her

five tries texting miko but he never gets a response which never happens

so when he catches her at work he’s like, “hey you didn’t answer any of my texts??”

and miko just goes, “yeah ally ate my phone again, no big deal.”

they send each other awful memes at random times during the night

they’ve been banned from the hinobi group chat more than once because they keep sending random pictures to each other with “is this you?” as the caption and the rest just can’t take it anymore

mitch’s group chat is simply called “The Peasants” until zahra makes him change it

he changes it to “workplace proximity associates” instead which isn’t much better but what are you going to do 

miko and five get into a street race with a group of older teens when they’re driving the car back to the hinobi store

the older teens are rude and obnoxious and five is trying to get miko to calm down because it’s petty and not worth getting into trouble

obnoxious older teen #1: animal crossing sucks and the hinobi store is crap

five: …….floor it miko

phil cannot wrap his head around the fact that they got a busted tail light over an argument about animal crossing of all things

five: ??? if we don’t defend our queen isabelle then who will??? 

miko and five absolutely dominate in any dancing game, they just have a natural rhythm that works

every time they play dance dance revolution a crowd always ends up forming around them

they’re both strong enough to lift the other

five likes to braid miko’s hair when there’s downtime at headquarters

five: do you want this butterfly barrette or this heart shaped clip in next?

miko: the heart clip

phil: do you two actually do any work around here

dares between the two of them are common and more often than not end in complete disaster

they challenge each other to finish the extra large spaghetti bucket and whoever loses has to dye their hair neon green

cue an hour later and they’re both on the floor unable to move

miko, the very next day at work: i’ve never been this sick...are we dead?

five: i feel great, i ran 5k this morning

miko: really?

five: no i threw up in the shower

they also try to out-do each other when it comes to bike tricks

mitch is driving after defeating a glitch suddenly his phone buzzes

miko: mitch

mitch: peasant

miko: i need you to come to the skatepark

mitch: ??? why?

miko: five was trying to do a 360 tailwhip and i think he broke his leg

mitch: LMAO 

miko: are you coming or not?!

mitch: what do i get for it

miko: you can have my vulpix alola plush

mitch:....i’ll be there in three minutes

miko never gives him the vulpix toy and gives it to five instead 

five, with a cast on his leg, clutching it to his chest: a small price to pay for my daughter

mitch comes barging into his room with zahra trailing behind him sipping a slushie and at first five thinks they’re here to keep him company and then mitch is like, “give me my vulpix plushie you bitch.”

whenever mitch is being insufferable miko and five roast him for being british

miko gets free food from five’s grandparent’s food truck even though she insists on paying

they have late night phone calls and often wonder how long they’ll be working as glitch techs

one day miko is rambling on about her high score on a new video game and five cuts her off all of a sudden and he’s like, “you know you’re my best friend, right?”

and miko is all, “uh yeah? what brought this on?”

“nothing, i just thought i should let you know that you’re important to me.”

and miko immediately tears up because dammit five you can’t just say things like that out of nowhere--

anyway these two are adorable best friends and i love them

[shadow-assassin-blix]

Parent Trap

PART 2

Marcus Moreno x Reader

It’s hereeee! Children’s shenanigans. Yearning. A kiss.

The Artist

The rest of the week went smoothly. Artemis was very excited to have a new friend and talked about Missy often.

Friday came around, and Shade had to inform the school that she was running late in picking Artemis up. A seller was taking his sweet time, in trying to decide which of the 2 pieces he wanted, before deciding he didn’t want either.

She was annoyed; it wasn’t uncommon for a seller to act like they wanted her work before making up some excuse as to why they were no longer interested. Nor was it uncommon for a person to try and haggle for lower prices, claiming ‘you should be grateful someone even wants your business.’

She was tired to say the least.

She finally, after 45 minutes, pulled up to the school, and made her way to Artemis’s class to pick her up. She was surprised when she saw Missy sitting with her.

“Missy? What are you still doing here honey?” Shade asked concerned.

“My dad’s running late, but I have no way of contacting him to find out what’s going on,” She admitted quietly.

Shade nodded in understanding, before pulling out her phone. Marcus had made sure to give her his number the other day when they saw each other dropping their kids off.

She called him. It took about 4 rings, before he answered, out of breath “Hey Shade.”

“Hey. So. I’m here with Artemis and Missy, are you uhh.. on your way hon?” She asked politely.

She hears him swear in the background before stating, “I promise I didn’t forget about her. It appears that someone has changed every clock I know. I haven’t been able to tell time for 90% of the day.”

“Haven’t been able to tell time eh? Funny. Had something similar happen the other morning when my alarm went off an hour early. Weird how these clocks… have just magically changed for both of us,” She noted staring at the two girls suspiciously.

Both of them shrugged acting like they have no idea what she was talking about, before looking away.

“Listen, can you tell Missy I am on my way, I swear,” He requested with a sigh.

“How about this… How about I take Missy home with me, and she can stay the night? In the morning, you can bring her a change of clothes, and pick us all up for our date,” She offered with a smile.

“Are... are you sure? It’s no problem for me to come and get her, it would just be a few minutes?” He questioned hesitantly.

“It’s not a problem. We will see you in the morning, yeah?” She assured.

“Sounds good, can I talk to Missy real quick?” He politely asked.

She handed her phone over to her, and they talked for a moment before she hung.

“Alright. Let’s get outta here,” She nodded her head toward the door.

The girls grabbed their things and the three of them were off.  

She gets them home and told them to get to work on their homework. She checked on dinner that was cooking in the crockpot. It was crockpot chicken and noodles.

The girls finished up their homework and were currently helping her set the table an hour later. They were both giggling and whispering to one another.

“Alright you two, enough with the whisper party. Go wash your hands, while I serve up dinner,” She tells them, shaking her head.

She grabbed their bowls and ladled them a healthy portion for all of them. She had made some fruit salad to go with it and gave them a small plate of it.

By the time their plates were ready, the girls were bouncing back into the dining room. They took their seats, and she joined them.

Missy began asking questions about Shade’s work.

“So, what kind of art do you do?” Missy politely asked.

“I do mostly pencil sketches and paint occasionally even though I don’t think I’m very good at it. Been working on some new stuff, but... Mh. not sure how I feel about it so far,” Shade explained to her.

“Ooh. What kind of new stuff?” Missy asked excitedly.

Shade went to wave it off as nothing when Artemis piped up, “She’s been drawing the Heroics and their most famous battles! Kinda like a comicbook! It’s so cool!”

“What!? That’s awesome! Can I see it sometime? I mean. If you’re okay with it?” Missy asked amazed.

“Hmm. Possibly. If…” Shade began.

“If what?” Missy questioned.

“If… you promise to fix your dad’s clocks, and not mess with them again. I understand that both of you are excited to be friends and want us to get along too, but messing with clocks and alarms is not okay,” She bargained looking at both of them.

They both looked down, wincing as they mumbled apologies and swearing that they would fix things.

“Apology accepted. Finish eating and I’ll show you my workshop,” She stated with a smile.

Both of them perked back up and began eating again happily.

Once they all had eaten and cleaned up, Shade led them to her workshop. She slid opened the double doors and presented it to Missy.

There were several desks, covered in pencils, graphite and colored, pens, paints, and brushes. There was an easel and some blank canvases resting in a corner. She walked over to one of her sketch books and opened it about midway.

“Just, uh, don’t touch the ink too much. It takes a long time to dry,” She informed them setting it down on the small table where Artemis held her art supplies.

Missy was amazed. She stared at all of the drawings of Miracle Guy, Sharkboy & Lavagirl, Tech-No, and many other Heroics.  She noticed one thing though.

“You haven’t drawn my dad yet?” She mentioned looking up at her.

“No. I haven’t. I for whatever reason… cannot seem to draw him. Every time I do, I worry I’ll mess it up. Your dad meant a great deal to me at one point,” Shade tells her, thinking fondly of Marcus.

Missy and Artemis looked at each other, a plan forming.

They spoke a little more about art and what Shade does before the girls ran upstairs to go play.

Or so Shade thought…

The Hero

Marcus was finishing up some paperwork that had piled up over the week when Miracle Guy stepped into his office.

“What are you still doing here, man? Shouldn’t you be at home? With your kid?” Miracle asked him.

“Can ask you the same thing, MG?” Marcus countered, referring to his nickname.

“Had a job I just came from. Mission report. Saw your light was still on, figured I should check on our fearless leader,” Miracle lightly teased.

Marcus simply hummed in response.

“So. What’s been going on with you? You’ve been jittery all week. I had thought it had something to do with the incident at Missy’s school, but now… not so sure,” Miracle brought up, sitting across from Marcus.

“Remember… when we first started out? I was with that artist?” Marcus began, biting his lip.

“Yeah. The really pretty one, that you wound up breaking up with, right?” Miracle recalled.

“Mh. Her daughter is now best friends with my daughter… and we have a date tomorrow… and I honestly… don’t know how I feel,” Marcus confessed, setting his pen down, the report no longer distracting him.

“Wh-… What? Seriously? Wow. What a small world? I mean… this is the first time you’ve gone out since Isabelle died right? I think it’s only natural that you’re nervous. But… it’s also with someone you’ve been with. I doubt she’s changed that much in 15 years,” Miracle noted with a shrug.

“Yeah. I just… hmm. I don’t know. I am nervous… but I’m also…excited? Happy? I mean… I wanted to marry this girl back in college, but life… got in the way. I guess… I’m just worried I’ll mess it up,” Marcus admitted with a sigh.

“Oh? You never told me that part? Listen. It’s one date. If you don’t feel sparks fly or whatever then, it’s not meant to be. But if you do, explore it. You deserve to be happy Marcus,” Miracle stated.

Marcus opened his mouth to reply when his phone rang.

He answers noticing it was Shade’s number.

“Hey, what’s-” He began.

“Dad! You should get over here! Like quickly! As fast as possible!” Missy voice came, rushed.

Marcus goes to question her, but the line ends.

Marcus quickly gets up, grabs his things and runs out to his car. The drive under normal circumstances was 20 minutes, but he was there in half that time.

He ran up to the door, banging on it, panicked.

When the door opened, Shade stood there, looking extremely confused.

“Marcus?” She greeted staring at him concerned.

“Are the girls okay? Missy called and told me I should get here,” Marcus explained quickly.

“Yes. They’re fine. They went upstairs to play?” She answered still confused.

“But they had your phone? And she sounded worried?” Marcus recalled the phone call.

She suddenly patted her pockets, looking around trying to find her phone.

The Artist

It slowly dawned on her what happened.

“GIRLS! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW” She yelled up the stairs.

A moment passed, and neither of them heard movement.

“I am so sorry Marcus. Artemis… must have grabbed my phone while I wasn’t looking,” She apologized, moving to go upstairs.

Marcus stopped her.

“Hey, so long as everyone is okay. Even though a CERTAIN YOUNG LADY IS GROUNDED. I’m sorry for almost busting your door down with my knocking,” He tells her, shouting part of his sentence up the stairs.

A loud groan could be heard in response.

“AS IS ANOTHER CERTAIN YOUNG LADY,” Shade mentioned loudly.

Cue another loud groan.

“Would… would you like some water?” Shade offered, twirling a lock of her hair.

“Yes. I would actually,” Marcus accepted gratefully.

The two of them stepped into her kitchen. Shade grabbed him a glass and filled it with water, before handing it to him. He downed about half of it, before setting it back down, wiping his mouth.

“So. What… what happened?” Marcus asked trying to understand.

She thought about it, trying to retrace the evening.

“Oh…. I showed them…some of my artwork… and Missy asked me why I hadn’t drawn you yet,” She realized.

“Oh? Ahem. So… Why…Why haven’t you drawn me yet?” He asked hesitantly and trying to hide his curiosity.

“I told her it was because… I was worried I would mess it up and that you meant a great deal to me… which is somewhat true… I have drawn you…but I always feel like… they didn’t do you justice,” She quietly admitted to him, not making eye contact. “Kind of hard to draw someone you were in love with for years. Especially when those feelings never quite went away.”

The Hero

He was surprised to hear that. He didn’t quite know how to respond. He did… know one thing though.

He moved around the island over to her.

“Forgive me… if this is too forward,” He whispered to her.

He gently cupped her face into his hands, and pressed a small, hesitant kiss to her lips. When she didn’t pull away or slap him, he kissed her again, but just a smidge longer.

He felt her arms move, sliding around his neck. He was extremely relieved when he felt her kiss him back. He lightly pinned her against her the island, his hands moving to her waist. They wrapped around her, pulling her close.

Their kiss lasted for a minute and would’ve gone longer if it weren’t for the fact that they heard giggles coming from the stairway.

They pulled away slowly.

“I told you that my daughter’s favorite movie was the Parent Trap, right? We’ve been Parent Trapped,” She whispered against his lips.

“You also said her number one favorite was The Mummy, which I guess it’s a good thing they didn’t unleash an unspeakable evil to get us together,” Marcus joked.

“This is true. You 2 are still grounded by the way, and Mrs. Moreno will be informed of that fact tomorrow when we leave you with her to go on our date,” She threw over shoulder.

There was a sound of 2 pairs of feet scurrying back upstairs.

“You… you still want to go out tomorrow?” Marcus inquired, hopeful.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. If you still want to,” She mentioned, biting her lip.

“Yeah. I do. Though… I think I should go grab my little delinquent, and take her home, so you can sleep without anymore “emergencies.” Plus, I apparently need to talk to her about boundaries,” Marcus noted as he slowly stepped away from her.

“Yeah. I apparently have to have a similar conversation. We’ll see you tomorrow?” She said with a smile.

“Yeah. Tomorrow. Umm. Just one last thing,” Marcus hurriedly said.

He pulled her into another kiss, that she returned with a sigh.

When he finally pulled away again, he simply said, “One wasn’t enough.”

He called for Missy to come downstairs and get her things. He told her that a slumber party will have to wait for another time. As he took Missy home, he couldn’t help the smile on his face, as he thought about Shade.

He knew his evening was far from over, but he couldn’t wait until tomorrow.

[pikaflute]

hi, sudafed cleared my sinuses long enough to think so here’s a giant post about most of my charles headcanons

Playlist

OH btw here’s my 4 hour and 23 minute playlist for Charles. Enjoy. Yes I know I’m insane: https://open.spotify.com/user/pikaflute24/playlist/4DBxaaxbqsmJt9Fvl8AgwZ?si=OcXlYCdFRzOhuKa4p_HdUQ

General Headcanons

He was born November 24 1965. He’s currently 56, but I usually write him in his late 40s in most fanfic and content I make. So there’s this middle aged man....

He has hazel eyes. Sometimes they look green, sometimes brown. Sometimes they’ll be white but that’s when he’s using his magic so mind your business

Gear brand over his heart >:)c

:) i think he has piercings and tattoos, a skull (dead man teehee) on his upper arm, a tattoo of a date (the date pickles and him first met TEEHEE) on his left arm also has a tattoo on his arm of the day he “died” on his right. had his ears pierced when he was a teen.

Has a sweet tooth so hard. Smuggles in treats into the drawers of his desk just to snack on during the day and has a mini fridge just filled with ice cream and also sorts of other goodies. He loves brownies and cookies the most

Likes to work out and keep himself in shape. it takes his mind off of stressful things like work and the boys, and just take his morning practice sparring and doing various exercises in the mordhaus gym. 

he’s uh also very flexible so he does yoga a lot when he exercises. don’t. look too deep into that

cannot cook to save his life. he almost burned mordhaus down trying to make himself a sandwich

he can play guitar! he used to play it more often when he was younger but he rarely has the time to play it nowadays. when he does get to play it, it’s usually in private (and mainly songs by dethklok), or it’s to show off to a certain lead guitarist that yes he is playing that solo wrong

he’s ambidextrous but prefers using his right hand. he’ll use his left hand to spar in order to go easy on his opponents because hes a smug cunt

he’s 5′7 but intimidation factor adds a couple inches doesn’t it

has a scorpion named princess as a pet. he lets her sit on his desk sometimes and it scares the shit out of dethklok which makes charles laugh on the inside

hes also a cat person. one time toki brought a cat home and it settled on charles’ lap and he almost cried

loves to be a smug asshole and relishes in it. will not take shit from anyone, especially from some asshole who is trying to pull one over on him

he has no idea how social media works at all. will print memes out to show to dethklok, he’s very fond of cat memes specifically (i can has cheeseburger type beat)

he has no idea what any internet memes means he isn’t going to start learning. he is going to misuse internet phrases. are you boys, ah, finding the imposter? [cue five groans from dethklok]

knows a lot of languages. not a comprehensive list but: french, swedish, norwegian, spanish, italian, japanese, chinese, german, russian and korean

is very competitive. scarily competitive. once he starts losing in smash or mario kart all hell will break lose

very bad at showing emotions or affection, when he gets compliments he gets all red and quiet and mumbles a thank you. 

weird about being touched as well and will usually avoid it unless it’s with someone he trusts

speaking of, his love language is acts of service :)c

hates being called charlie or chuck, unless the right person calls him it ;)

he’s autistic. was nonverbal for most of his life and only talked to certain people, or anyone at all. he stims with his hands and uses his pens to fidget.

has a collection of novelty socks. he likes the ones that have polka dots or stripes

sleeps with a garfield plushie he had since he was younger. it helps him with the nightmares

when any of the boys need help sleeping (usually toki or pickles), he’ll sleep with them in his bed. after dying he had trouble sleeping some nights, so dethklok returned the favor and all piled up in his bed and helped him sleep. he didnt have nightmares after that night

hes nearsighted, and prefers to wear glasses over contacts

lactose intolerant, hes still eating mac n cheese and paying the price

metalhead but pretends to not be just to mess with his boys

crippling addiction to match 3 games. also loves to play minecraft.

overly self sacrificial. puts ones he love needs before his own, results in himself being very isolated and distant from those he cares about because he’s afraid of hurting them

his favorite colors are black and purple

coffee kinda guy. black coffee or bust

has a lot of cute novelty mugs to put his coffee in. he ones from places where dethklok tours, dethklok official ones (the only two that aren’t adorned with spikes), some cat themed ones, a couple that have ties and math references, and one from his boys that says “most brutal manager”. he drinks out of that last one the most

he has a couple of grey hairs and wrinkles, but he keeps them because they remind him that he’s human. also pickles said old men were hot but you didnt hear that from me

likes to play chess but he can never find a good opponent. all the klokateers are too scared if they win and dethklok is too distracted to ever play with him or they end up losing to quickly if charles plays against them

really wants kids. he babies his sister’s sons and daughters a TON (uncle charles always brings the best gifts :) ) and also treats toki like his own son in a way. toki doesnt mind, he really appreciates the love

speaking of, toki does call charles dad once and it makes charles cry for like. a week and a half

his favorite dethklok song is the gears :)

he likes to collect knives as a side hobby, his favorite of his collection is a sleek black one with skulls on the handle

he has a motorcycle and likes to drive it around sometimes to just be alone with himself. it’s all black with a red gear on it

lightweight but only if he drinks the amount dethklok drinks. can hold his alcohol fairly well if he drinks like a sensible human, prefers brandy and wine

he can smoke cigars to be sexy for me and me ONLY

likes to read in his spare time. he likes mystery novels and science fiction

he has soft spot for cheesy sitcoms, they’re his guilty pleasure

his favorite youtuber is lockpickinglawyer. yours should be too

usually sleeps in only his boxers but will wear a shirt if its’s cold. he tends to sleep on his side (also wants to be the little spoon when cuddled but he will never admit that)

takes vacations sometimes away from the boys despite his worry that something will go wrong (it will!). many of his vacations are usually going to visit his family and going to the shore with them, or travelling to somewhere new for a change (cue charles being a yakuza substory on his one vacation per year)

he can sew pretty well. learned from his mom and used to sew the whole his sister use to put through her soccer uniform.

can also do makeup, and usually does it for one of the boys of there’s no one else around to help

bites his lip when he’s nervous. which is a lot

likes chococat and gudetama. he’s a man of tastes

laughs really loud if you catch him off guard. he snorts sometimes too. he’s embarrassed by it, but i think its’ cute

loves law and order obviously 

he likes men

has a lot of pent up rage. very good at compressing it. sometimes

as high priest, he stays up very late trying to decipher the ancient prophecies that dethklok needed to fulfill. he doesnt sleep very much when he starts out because he misses home, so the band makes him come back (or else)

also as high priest he becomes more intune with magic granted to him after he died and he mainly uses his magic to protect his boys when they go back to being a band. also to fuck with them

the band he managed before dethklok was a band named savior who said they were a metal band with a unique sound, but that unique sound was actually just being a christian metal band that were bad at playing music. they also treated charles like shit and blamed him for them doing so poorly with sales and shows. had an unfortunate “accident” with a tour bus after charles had enough of their attitude towards him.  he denies he had anything to do with it (he did.)

Family/Childhood

He’s the baby of the family. Spoiled rotten to the max. He doesn’t admit it though but whenever he comes home you know he abuses the “:)c im the favorite” card

He has 4 older sisters: Caroline who is a high school civics teacher, Cynthia who is a librarian, Callie who is a coach for a soccer team, and Charlotte who is a lawyer/manager who manages Ladyklok, which gets awkward (and funny) when Abigail starts dating the lead singer Natalie

charles is actually one of the tallest in his family. his dad is 6’1 and his older sister Callie is 5’11. cynthia is 5’6, caroline is 5’6, and his mom and charlotte are 5’5.

his mom is a doctor and his dad is an accountant. his mom’s name is giovanna and his dad’s name is elijah

caroline is the oldest sister, followed by cynthia, callie, charlotte then charles.

Charlotte and Charles are sworn enemies since they were born on the same day a year apart and basically have the same job. They do love each other though

His father calls him Charles. Caroline and Cynthia call him Charlie. Callie calls him Chuck. Charlotte calls him Charles (derogatory). His mom calls him a whole slew of nicknames that she made up when he was young (she calls him cheese ball and he turns red)

caroline has a wife (lauren who is a chef) and two kids (evan and shelby)

cynthia is dating a coworker (viola)

callie has a husband (john who is a stay at home dad) and they have three kids (brenda, melissa, and jeff)

charlotte is dating ladyklok (and abigail). this is a weird flex on charles i think.

He had a race car bed when he was like 5

He also was also one of those kids at family game night. He almost killed Cynthia over a game of monopoly

Always got to lick the spoon first after his mom baked brownies

He grew up in North Jersey (derogatory) (also yes im projecting state shot)

He’s also Italian (derogatory)

He got bullied in middle school for a little bit but once his older sisters found out, oh boy did all hell break loose

Was in band in high school. He played flute (DONT TALK TO ME I LIKE PROJECTING), he was of course a soloist and incredibly smug about it

Took gymnastics as a kid. Can do a backflip on command. Also very flexible.

First manager gig was helping his sisters sell girl scout cookies. They raked in a lot of profits when baby bro was behind the scenes. His cut was eating thin mints for free

Loved Star Trek when he was a kid

Was incredibly gifted, and taught himself to read at a young age. didn’t talk that much though

was always sick when he was little. he would always get sinus infections and colds if someone even sneezed weird

was in mock trial in high school. one guy on his team was a jerk to him so charles made it a point to be this poor kid’s nemesis

was on the student council, treasurer of course.

was also in nhs, and he was treasurer there too

was that kid who insisted on doing the group project by himself because he didn’t want to wait on anyone to finish their part

was super rowdy as a kid, always got into trouble but his mom was a little lenient of punishment (hes a mommas boy)

when he was like super young he bit people cause he was just a little monster (charles' sisters: mom charles is biting again. charles, biting one of them: im not :/ sheesh)

wanted to be a lawyer since he was 7

put his own siblings and parents on trial and would win every trial and would always get the last cookie or a higher allowance

he shared his room with his sister Charlotte and they would set up a pillow fort on one of the beds and stay up late reading together 

loved going to the beach as a kid, his mom still has his collection of shells from the beach

on the boardwalk, he would dominate at claw machines anad carnival games. he won a bunch of plushies from himself (and his sisters obviously)

his dad and him have a super close bond. they watched star trek together and also like to watch how the stock market would do. his dad was also sometimes the judge in charles’ mock trials at home

they were very supportive when he came out as gay, he was also the first of his sibilings to come out of the closet

College

Got his masters in business management at rutgers and a JD (law degree) from seton hall law.

Started college when he was 18 (1983) and ended college when he was 26 (1991)

Wasn’t a party guy. Never got invited to many, but he never went unless a certain redhead was in town

Sustained himself off of ramen, coffee, and SSRIs to get his masters (hey man i feel ya)

Did weed like three times. Three of those times were because of, you guessed it, a certain redhead

Speaking of, his first time having sex was in his dorm with Pickles. Pickles also kicked him off of the bed (those beds are fucking tiny) while they slept, and almost burned Charles’ dorm down trying to make toast the next morning

Absolute did not do essays until the night before. Bad habit that made it’s way into Dethklok managing when he’s forced to write a legal brief before 12 am.

Loved calculus 2 for some reason. Nerd

Had a mullet. Pickles thought it was hot (still is) while Charles would rather die than remember anything about that horrid hairdo

Also went through his goth/emo phase while in Law School. He stuck out amongst the sea of sweater vests and polo shirts

Was in a band with his fellow college bandmates. The band was called Habeas Corpses and he was the lead singer who also played guitar. Their sound was kind of similar to TWRP’s first two EPs (The Device and 2nite). they had a grunge aesthetic, and yes charles dyed his mullet black (with a purple streak), for the band.

his bandmates were all fellow law students. dillan was on drums, margaret was their bass guitar, and nick was their keyboardist. all three of them also got tutored by charles while in law school. they are still best friends and write to each other sometimes

Was on the debate team, but uh kicked off due to be very competitive (he threatened to punch the opposing debater)

Was also in the chess club, also kicked off for being too competitive (lunged at a kid for cheating)

After being kicked from the two previous clubs, he joined fencing, his very competitive nature made him the best in the state

nick (the guy in charles’ band) was charles’ roommate the whole time they were in college. they may or may not have had a brief relationship before they realized they would be better as friends

nick also has a nes and charles loved to played zelda and wrote an entire guide for himself because he’s was that into the game (nerd)

occasionally would be found sleeping in the library on campus

wanted to be an RA but the resident association at his schools thought he was a little much. charles took this as a compliment

worked out a lot between studying and classes. a lot of jocks underestimated him because of his size but charles was just :) [casually lifts something heavy]

a lot of fellow classmates thought he was super cool cause of the leather he wore, and how cool and quiet he was, too bad they didnt know he was a huge nerd

tried skateboarding. once.

had a cadillac that barely started and drove like a piece of shit but that was charles’ baby

pickles tried to have sex with charles in said car btw, charles almost killed him for even daring to suggest to tarnish his beautiful baby

has damaged his back permanently because of all the books he used to carry around in his crappy back pack

did some modelling for one of his friends in college. he was very attractive and got some other modelling job through it. he tries to hide that from the boys in the future because he thinks it’s embarrassing

Relationship with Dethklok

Pickles - he’s known the drummer the longest out of any other member, and if you couldn’t tell by now, he had a brief relationship with the drummer back in the 80s (and maybe also still has a crush on him :)). charles respects and admires pickles’ talent as a musician and sometimes they play together when they have time alone. he tries to be there when pickles has a relapse in either emotions with his family or something else, but still tries to maintain a distance because he thinks that pickles doesn’t feel the same as he did in the 80s. (he does btw). nothing could break the bond these two share. not even death

Nathan - understands nathan’s quiet nature (nonverbal kings!) and strive for perfection in everything dethklok creates because he is the same way. their similarities allow them to connect on a level that allows nathan to open up about his feelings that he likes to lock away. nathan also gets charles to open his feelings up and actually care for himself for once in his damn life. charles also helps nathan with the depression he develops after charles dies and how to deal with it despite it being not brutal. nathan wants to give back and he does by becoming one of charles’ closest friends (and maybe even lovers hehehe)

Toki - charles has taken it upon himself to be toki’s father figure after seeing the way toki’s family has left him for essentially dead. ever since toki joined the band, charles has made it a point to be there for him whenever he needed it. even if it meant spending late nights reading to toki or sleeping over in toki’s room to help him sleep, he’ll do it. he blames himself for toki’s disappearance but toki assures him that he did the best he could. toki calls him dad a lot after doomstar. it makes charles cry.

Skwisgaar - unstoppable asshole meets immovable object. skwisgaar sees himself above everyone else like he does with the other dethklok members but with charles, skwisgaar knows that charles isn’t intimidated by him nor will he bow to the guitar god in anyway. this develops a game of cat and mouse between the two, with skwisgaar trying to no subtly push charles’ buttons and to see what makes him ticks, while charles resist him at every turn with a smug ‘:) is that all you got’ and it delights him to finally see the guitarist squirm under pressure.

Murderface - at first the two are very. distant to say the least. murderface used to see charles as unemotional robot and charles was fine with that and accepted the distance. overtime however, and especially after charles died, murderface warmed up to charles confiding in him things he hasn’t told the band, mainly things about his insecurities because charles is ‘fucking smart with crap like this’. and charles helps him and is happy to see him work out his problems and not bottle them anymore like the rest of his bandmates. charles also enjoys murderface’s company as a friend as well. and….he’s gonna help murderface the most with the whole traitor stuff too.

Abigail - mlm and wlw hostility. but seriously they’re good buds. he sympathizes with having to deal the moronic actions of dethklok on a daily basis and also thinks she’s really intelligent and overall fun to hang out with. they take lunch breaks frequently together and like to make fun of people at dethklok dinners together as a fun activity together. abigail will bully his ass once she finds out she’s dating charles’ sister and WILL bring up those baby pictures to get a higher raise thank you very much

Knubbler - can you say coworker besties! like abigail, he gets along because they both have to deal with dethklok being, well dethklok, but with knubbler, charles can relax a little more. the two cause problems on purpose just because they can. the two are also close friends and knubbler tries to get charles to relax for once in his life, and despite charles protests and objections, he sometimes caves and hands out with his friend (maybe boyfriend OOOOO who knows)

Sex Headcanons (IM SORRY)

um maybe he can have a giant dick (10 inches for me), it do be swinging though

daddy kink (everyone stay on this side, ill take care of him….come to daddy ;)c)

likes to do roleplay. he has a lot of costumes prepared for when his partner wants to do a scene with him

likes to bite and be bitten during sex. after a very long night, he’ll be covered in bite marks, it’s kinda hot

no gag reflex ;) he likes to deepthroat but good luck trying to get him to go down on you without him teasing

remember how i said he was flexible like eight times? yeah he uh, uses that a lot to his advantage. likes being fucked in weird positions because of it

the suit stays on during sex

he likes topping because he likes to be in control of everything he does all the time, but really wants to be told what to do sometimes and will let those he trusts do that for him

he has a dick piercing i know it

he's a very busy man, so he relies on his huge collection of toys he keeps in his bedroom and office

really good with his hands. as soon as those hands are on you, its game over

he loves to do it on his desk, makes him feel powerful. when he gets blown under his desk, it really takes all of his willpower to not cum immediately

really sensitive in weird places, specifically his ears

he likes to cuddle after sex, hes the little spoon :)

likes to be tied up, sometimes he’ll get tied up under his suit

mating press and riding are his favorite positions, giving and receiving

size queen, likes large toys and well ;)

has a private room that he sometimes goes to relieve stress, it has a fucking machine that he likes to use often when his job gets too stressful

he’s sucking people off at the klokateer glory hole, he’s uh, very good at what he does

likes to be spanked and like to spank

uses collars and leashes

maybe the klokateers can fuck him, if they’re good ;)

freeballing

likes cum on his face but doesn't seem to realize that means he’ll get cum on his glasses and will need to clean them

he can wear a chastity belt :) for me

likes being came in but will still complain about being gross after

pretty much up for anything, he’s not picky, he just wants to be in control and get off

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Songs that make me think of the Marauders (PART TWO)

(part one)

Everything Happens For A Reason (Madison Beer)

Remus, after the Prank, completely heartbroken and completely confused… when did Sirius stop loving him in that sweet, gentle way he’d always promised to?

When did Sirius start seeing him as the monster he's always sworn Remus isn't?

I used to believe That everything happens for a reason But I just can't find a reason You'd wanna hurt me so bad

Can't get no relief Time moves on with the seasons But I still can't find a reason You'd wanna hurt me so bad

And what in the world did I do to deserve such a pain in my heart? Guess it's true I'm never getting over you

I still love you I still want you I still love you

If You Love Her (Forest Blakk)

This is the song Sirius and Remus play during their first dance. Fight me.

She always has trouble falling asleep And she likes to cuddle while under the sheets She loves pop songs and dancing, and bad trash TV There's still a few other things She loves love notes and babies and likes giving gifts Has a hard time accepting a good compliment She loves her whole family and all of her friends So if you're the one she lets in

Kiss her with passion as much as you can Run your hands through her hair whenever she's sad And when she doesn't notice how pretty she is Tell her over and over, so she never forgets

Take it If she gives you her heart, don't you break it Let your arms be a place she feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have On days when it feels like the whole world might cave in Stand side by side and you'll make it She'll love you if you love her like that

cowboy like me (Taylor Swift)

Sirius and Remus go on the run together after James’ death. Not at first - they meet up in a bar about three months after. But after that three months they’re inseparable again - desperately in love, playing Robin Hood, driving a blue Mustang into the sunset - they’re miserable, sure, but they’re also very good at pretending they’re not.

And you asked me to dance But I said, "dancing is a dangerous game" Oh, I thought, this is gonna be one of those things I've got some tricks up my sleeve Takes one to know one You're a cowboy like me Never wanted love, just a fancy car Now I'm waiting by the phone

Perched in the dark Telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear Like it could be love I could be the way forward, only if they pay for it You're a bandit like me, eyes full of stars Hustling for the good life Never thought I'd meet you here It could be love We could be the way forward, and I know I'll pay for it

And the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to mess this up And the old men that I've swindled really did believe I was the one And the ladies lunching have their stories about when you passed through town But that was all before I locked it down Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon With your boots beneath my bed Forever is the sweetest con

And I'm never gonna love again I'm never gonna love again

no body, no crime (Taylor Swift)

Sirius Black’s soulmate, James Potter, is dead. And Sirius knows who did it.

He just can’t prove it.

(I rewrote it for y'all. You're welcome.)

Cell Block Tango (from "Chicago")

The Dark Marauders. James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, Severus, and Regulus - performing uselessly sensual dance routines in Azkaban because why the fuck not? Their Dark Lord is dead, and all they have left of him is their loyalty and a bout of snakes and skulls on their arms.

(Wrote this one too. Again, you're welcome.)

Broken Bones (KALEO)

Remus Lupin is a werewolf, and every full moon, this song runs through his mind as James and Sirius envelop his naked body in their arms and tell him he’s beautiful, and so so good, and they’ll love him forever and ever and ever, they promise. And for a single, measley second every time, Remus believes them.

Hoping things might go my way Some might say I talk loud, see if I care Unlike them, don't walk away from my fear I've busted bones, broken stones, looked the devil in the eye I hope he's going to break these chains

Another hard day, no water, no rest I saw my chance, so I got him at last I took his six shooter, put two in his chest He'll never say a word no more The devil got him good for sure

Ain't got no place to call a home Only chains and broken bones Ain't got no place to call a home So come on lord, won't you take me now? So come on lord, what you waiting for?

Oh, the devil's going to make me a free man The devil's going to set me free The devil's going to make me a free man The devil's going to set me free...

traitor (Olivia Rodrigo)

Sirius is innocent. Remus believes that. Remus knows that. He knows it. Because he doesn’t know how he’ll live if he’s wrong. Well, okay, he knows -

He won’t.

Brown guilty eyes and little white lies Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew That you'd talk to her, maybe did even worse I kept quiet so I could keep you

And ain't it funny how you ran And ain't it funny how you said you were friends? Now it sure as hell don't look like it

Ain't it funny all the twisted games All the questions you used to avoid?

Ain't it funny? Remember I brought her up, and you told me I was paranoid

You betrayed me And I know that you'll never feel sorry for the way I hurt Loved you at your worst, but that didn't matter

God, I wish that you had thought this through Before I went and fell in love with you When she's sleeping in the bed we made Don't you dare forget about the way you betrayed me

Never Not (Lauv)

The Marauders, slowly breaking apart over the years. James and Lily settle in London, and Sirius and Remus run off to travel the world. They split off somewhere in Asia and forget to call. Peter cleans dishes in Hogwarts’ kitchens and Severus spends his time in those dungeons, teaching potions and writing letters he never sends. Regulus holes up in Grimmauld Place, never marrying, never moving. James and Lily divorce when Harry is ten, and go their separate ways. They always move forward, but -

They also always look back.

I lost myself, seventeen Then you came, found me There's a room in my heart with the memories we made Took them down but they're still in their frames There's no way I could ever forget

For as long as I live, and as long as I love I will never not think about you From the moment I loved I knew you were the one And no matter whatever I do I will never not think about you

What we had only comes once in a lifetime For the rest of mine, I'll always compare To the room in my heart with the memories we made Nights on fifth, in between B and A

Didn't we have fun? Didn't we have fun, looking back?

We were so beautiful We were so tragic No other magic could ever compare...

Scared To Live (The Weeknd)

Sirius and Remus after twelve years apart, having no idea what to do with each other. They were in love once - are in love? - but those days are long gone. Sirius sees how Remus looks at Tonks, but knows Remus can’t ever really love her, much as he likes her, because his heart has forgotten every word but Sirius' name. And Sirius is happier than he thought he’d ever get to be without James, really, though he’s far from happy or even content - is this all there is? Is this how they die? Is this their ending?

No. No. No, after everything, this can’t be it - this cannot be it.

(But if he dies, well... he hopes Remus lives on without him. Happier.

I guess.)

When I saw the signs, I should've let you go But I kept you beside me And if I held you back, at least I held you close Should have known you were lonely

I know things will never be the same Time we lost will never be replaced I'm the reason you forgot to love So don't be scared to live again Be scared to live again No, don't be scared to live again

You always miss the chance to fall for someone else Cause your heart only knows me They try to win your love, but there was nothing left They just made you feel lonely

I am not the man I used to be Did some things I couldn't let you see Refused to be the one who taints your heart

I hope you know that I've been praying that you find yourself We fell apart, right from the start I should have made you my only

So don't be scared to live again I said, "don't be scared to live again"

I Know Where I've Been (from "Hairspray! Live")

Remus and Sirius, sad and happy together, alone in Grimmauld Place and dancing deep into the night as this song plays on the record player and they sway. Their whole lives have been war, but in these moments, there is peace.

Fleeting, hopeless peace, but peace nonetheless.

There's a light in the darkness Though the night is black There's a light burning bright Showing me the way But I know where I've been

There's a cry in the distance It's a voice that comes from deep within There's a cry asking why I pray the answer's up ahead Cause I know where I've been

There's a road we've been travelling Lost so many on the way But the riches will be plenty Worth the price we had to pay

There's a dream in the future There's a struggle we have yet to win And there's pride in my heart Cause I know where I'm going And I know where I've been

Brooklyn Baby (Lana Del Rey)

Sirius Black being himself, and James Potter and Remus Lupin being in love with him.

They say I'm too young to love you I don't know what I need They think I don't understand The freedom land of the seventies

I think I'm too cool to know ya You say I'm like the ice, I freeze I'm churning out novels like Beat poetry on Amphetamines

Well, my boyfriend's in a band He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed I've got feathers in my hair I get down to beat poetry And my jazz collection's rare I can play most anything I'm a Brooklyn baby

They say I'm too young to love you They say I'm too dumb to see They judge me like a picture book By the colors, like they forgot to read I think we're like fire and water I think we're like the wind and sea You're burning up, I'm cooling down You're up, I'm down You're blind, I see

But I'm free I'm free

I'm talking about my generation Talking about that newer nation And if you don't like it, you can beat it Beat it, baby You never liked the way I said it If you don't get it, then forget it Cause I don't have to fucking explain

Yeah, my boyfriend's pretty cool But he's not as cool as me Cause I'm a Brooklyn baby I'm a Brooklyn baby

I Can't Go On Without You (KALEO)

Sirius and Remus are lost to each other, for twelve years and then two more, Sirius locked behind bars and then a Veil and Remus on the run alone and then with a woman he’s somehow fooled himself into thinking he loves.

They’ll be together again. One day. But for now, there’s nothing to do but wait.

Alone.

Well, they thought they were made for each other Only thinking of one another Never thinking just for one second She would take a different attraction

We don't want that We don't want that, oh no I can't go on without you

Oh, so what's the point of breaking my sweet heart? She wanted me to let down my guard Well, you know what they say It's better that way So, you better hush and walk away

Well, was I supposed to wait for you sweetheart? And hide away the shame, yes I keep it all inside Though the thought had crossed my mind! To do all the things I'll regret, we don't want that

I can't, I can't, I can't go on without you I can't go on without you, oh, lord I can't go on without you, babe

Oh, she loves me She loves me not She loves me My love don't love me...

Oh, so what is left but a broken man? Cause nothing hurts like a woman can I can't go on without you...

happier (Olivia Rodrigo)

Sirius as he watches Remus fall in love with Tonks right in front of him, unable to love Sirius the same way after everything. Sirius loves his cousin - he does. He just kind of hates her, too.

There’s been a lot of things in this life he’s been afraid of, but Remus leaving him never even crossed his mind.

That was his mistake, I guess…

Fuck.

You've moved on, found someone new One more girl who brings out the better in you And I thought my heart was attached For all the sunlight of our past But she's so sweet, she's so pretty Does she mean you forgot about me?

And do you tell her she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen? An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean Remember when I believed you meant it when you said it first to me? And now I'm picking her apart Like cutting her down make you miss my wretched heart But she's beautiful, she looks kind, she probably gives you butterflies

Say you love her, baby, just not like you loved me And think of me fondly when your hands are on her

I hope you're happy, just not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier.

That's The Kind Of Woman (Julia Michaels)

James left Sirius for Lily, and that was okay. Sirius loved Lily, and he loved James, so it was okay. At least he still had Remus.

Well, he did. Until Tonks came along.

It’s okay. Really. Sirius has gone his whole life feeling unloved.

He can die that way too.

OR

James, Sirius, and Remus fell in love in fourth year, and it was wonderful. And then Sirius started to notice things - small things, little things. Like the gentle way James and Remus are with each other, the way they wake each other up with kisses in the morning and dance the night before the full moon, the way their hands fit together the way everyone expected Sirius’ to fit with them, but better.

The way they love each other more than him.

And that’s okay. That’s fine. He wants them to be happy, and they make each other happy. So he lets them go the last day of seventh year, and disappears into the wind never to be seen again, just like their love for him.

Childhood picket fence, smells like confidence Raised with a little more common sense Isn't always on defense Sits up straight and knows how to take a compliment Jealous but the right amount Isn't scared of missing out, missing out's scared of missing her Doesn't buy things to fill voids Doesn't hate the sound of her own voice

Doesn't cry when someone leaves Isn't contradictory Mind takes a break when she falls asleep Always takes her own advice Crosses T's and cuts her ties Figured out sympathize from empathize Doesn't keep those letters in a drawer Doesn't keep a closet full of things she bought and never wore Gives all her attention to the people that are with her She still loves to dance She still loves her sister

If the me I am Walked out that door Would I miss her?

Maybe, a little bit, sure Oh, I love myself, but I'd love her more Yeah, that's the kind of woman I'd leave me for

Quarter Past Midnight (Bastille)

The Marauders steal a Muggle’s pick-up truck and fly down the highway, literally. The lights are bright and the music is loud, and they’re screaming with laughter, dancing and kissing under the stars. It’s that one perfect moment, the one poets write about seeking their whole lives. This is that moment, this is their moment.

They’ll never be this happy again.

It's a quarter past midnight as we cut through the city The streets are getting restless Good times, bad decisions And the sirens are mending some hearts But we're the losers on our back seats Singing love will tear us apart

It's a quarter past midnight, still avoiding tomorrow It's a quarter past midnight, but we're just getting going We keep on running through a red light Like we're trying to burn the night away This is my favorite part Help me piece it all together, darling Before it falls apart

And the speakers are blowing We want the bodies on the billboards Not the lives underneath them And now we're crawling up the walls again And it's a quarter past twelve And you said we'd leave this place in dust And fall from heaven straight through hell We never know what we have We never knew what we had

We keep on running Why are we always chasing after something Like we're trying to throw our lives away?

And the secrets are flowing Our lips are getting looser I don't know what I'm saying We never knew what we had I never know what I've had

Home (Edith Whiskers)

The Marauders remember each other in a haze - well. The ones that are still alive do, that is.

Regulus, falling.

James, fighting.

Lily, screaming.

Sirius, smiling.

Peter, choking.

Remus, crying.

Severus, bleeding.

They all went, and not one peacefully.

If I close my eyes, I can still see them. Laughing.

I do love my ma and pa Not the way that I do love you Well, holy moly, me oh my, you're the apple of my eye Girl, I've never loved one like you Man, oh, man, you're my best friend, I scream it to the nothingness There ain't nothing that I need Well, hot and heavy pumpkin pie, chocolate candy, Jesus Christ Ain't nothing please me more than you

I'll follow you into the park, through the jungle, through the dark Moats and boats and waterfalls, alleyways and pay phone calls I've been everywhere with you We laugh until we think we'll die, barefoot on a summer night Nothing new is sweeter than with you And in the streets, we run afree, like it's only you and me Geez, you're something to see

Oh, home, let me come home Home is whenever I'm with you Oh, home, let me come home Home is wherever I'm with you

I Hate That You're Happy (Tiny Little Houses)

Severus is alone, alone again. Lily’s gone. She’s run off to marry James Potter, the prat, and Severus - Severus doesn’t hope for much in this life, but he holds out hope for her. Because everyone knows she loves James now, but she loved Severus once too… and she still keeps his green ribbon tied around her ring finger, almost like they’re still married in mind.

So Severus keeps his vows to her. He promised her forever - it’s okay, honestly. That forever can be spent apart. He’ll love her anyway.

He'll love her always.

I'm sorry if I ever hurt you And I never kissed you enough And I just have trouble unravelling sometimes The feelings that I kept locked up

And I know it's my own misfortune And I didn't hold tight enough But I found it hard to keep myself whole While drowning in my bitter blood

I'll stay awake again and start feeling The spot where you used to reside And I'll lay beneath these cold empty sheets Huddled and clutching my sides

And I know it's my own misfortune And darling, believe me, I do And you've got your problems, and hell I've got mine But I find it hard that we're through

And I hate when you're with him And I hate when you smile And I hate that for once you don't seem like you've cried And I hate that you've kissed him And I hate that I'm sore But most of all I hate that you're happier than before

And I hate when you're with him And at night you're entwined And I hate that I have to pretend that I'm fine And I hate that I miss you but you miss him more But most of all I hate that you're happier than before Most of all I hate that you're happier than before

Call Your Girlfriend (Clara Mae)

James knows Lily isn’t happy with him. It’s been months, she’s had plenty of time to come around, but she just - she doesn’t love him. She never has. He should’ve seen that, but he was too busy hating the greasy-haired git to realize that Lily has always loved him more than anything else.

Gently, he lets her go. He presses the green ribbon he found in her drawer around her hand, and he kisses her goodbye, and he tells her to go after her happiness, whoever that is. And she smiles at him, the tears in her eyes happy, and she runs away, crashing into Severus’ arms. And they look… they look so perfect together. Like they make so much sense.

It’s okay. James can take it.

Regulus is staring at him. James winks at him, and smiles.

Call your girlfriend It's time you had the talk Give your reasons Say it's not her fault Tell her not to get upset Second guessing everything you've said and done

And when she get upset Tell her that you never meant to hurt no one You just tell her that the only way her heart will mend Is when she learns to love again And it won't make sense right now But you're still her friend

Cloud 9 (Beach Bunny)

James, Sirius, and Remus. It’s an unconventional love story, but not one they feel the need to explain.

They can and will dance together forever, butterbeers in their hands and magic in their eyes, hearts colliding in a messy, three-way kiss.

I don't wanna seem the way I do But I'm confident when I'm with you Lately all I feel is bad and bruised Tired of tripping on my shoes

When I start to tumble from the sky You remind me how to fly Lately, I've been feeling unalive But you bring me back to life

But when he loves me, I feel like I'm floating When he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody Even when we fade eventually to nothing You will always be my favorite form of loving

the last great american dynasty (Taylor Swift)

The Most Ancient and Noble House of Black, and its last heir, Sirius Potter Lupin.

Fuck those assholes. He’ll be as mad as he likes.

Was the heir to the name, and money And the town said "how did a middle class divorcée do it?" The wedding was charming, if a little gauche There's only so far new money goes They picked out a home and called it Holiday House Their parties were tasteful, if a little loud The doctor had told him to settle down It must have been her fault his heart gave out

And they said, "there goes the last great american dynasty" Who knows, if she never showed up what could've been There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen She had a marvelous time ruining everything

Rebekah gave up on the Rhode Island set forever Flew in all the Bitch Pack friends from the city Filled the pool with champagne and swam with the big names And blew through the money on the boys and the ballet And losing on card game bets with Dalí

There goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen She had a marvelous time ruining everything

They say she was seen on occasion Pacing the rocks staring out at the midnight sea And in a feud with her neighbor She stole his dog and dyed it key lime green Fifty years is a long time Holiday House sat quietly on that beach Free of women with madness Their men and bad habits, and then it was bought by me

Who knows, if I never showed up what could've been There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen I had a marvelous time ruining everything

I Don't Believe You (P!nk)

Regulus, alone after Sirius runs away. All alone in a giant house, all alone with his wretched mother and her Death Eater friends, all alone without the only person he’s ever loved.

Sirius never comes back, but Regulus waits at the door for him every day anyway.

(Sirius writes Regulus a million letters. He wonders why he never answers. Not even with a cursive fuck you. Maybe he should go back… maybe - no.

No, best not.

It’s not like Regulus misses him.)

I don't mind it, I don't mind at all It's like you're the swing set and I'm the kid that falls It's like the way we fight, the times I've cried We come too close, and every night The passion's there, so it's gotta be right Right?

I don't mind it, I still don't mind at all It's like one of those bad dreams when you can't wake up It looks like you've given up, you've had enough But I want more, no, I won't stop Because I just know you'll come around Right?

Just don't stand there and watch me fall Cause I still don't mind at all

No I don't believe you When you say, "don't come around here no more" I won't remind you You said we wouldn't be apart No I don't believe you When you say you don't need me anymore So don't pretend to not love me at all

Cause I don't believe you.

Little Miss Perfect (Annapantsu cover)

Regulus Black, the perfect child.

He and his brother are nothing alike. Sirius is rebellious, Regulus is obedient. Sirius is brash, Regulus is controlled. Sirius is bravery, Regulus is misery. They have nothing in common.

Well -

Except their hearts, bothing beating for a boy named James Potter with twinkling eyes. A boy only one of them will get to kiss.

Regulus is happy to be the one who’s lost out. At least, that’s what he tells himself as he stares up at the white light, the surface too far above to reach.

Straight hair, straight A's, straightforward Straight path, I don't cut corners I make a point to be on time Head of the student council I don't black out at parties I jam to Paul McCartney If you ask me how I'm doing I'll say...

Well, hmm Often I ask myself, "what did I do?" To get as far as I've gotten A pretty girl walks by my locker My heart gives a flutter But I don't dare utter a word Cause that would be absurd behavior For little miss perfect

No, I can't risk falling off my throne Love is something I don't even know Straight hair, straight A's, straightforward Straight girl Little miss perfect That's me You don't even know Rewind, induce amnesia Deny the truth, that's easier You're just confused, believe her When she says there's nothing there It's never worth it When you're little miss perfect

Achilles Come Down (Gang Of Youths)

Sirius, running from his family and his predetermined madness, his wildness carrying him so far he makes a circle.

Remus, hiding from love and freedom, his happiness stitched from his skin in ugly, painful scars.

James, watching his best friends tear each other apart, too blind with love to see the monsters they’ve made of each other.

Children, come down.

Achilles, Achilles, Achilles come down Won't you get up off, get up off the roof? You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you Achilles, it's not much but there's proof You crazy assed cosmonaut, remember your virtue Redemption lies plainly in truth Just humour us, Achilles Achilles, come down Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?

The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken Remember the pact of our youth? Where you go, I'm going So jump and I'm jumping Since there is no me without you Soldier on, Achilles Achilles, come down Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?

Hurt and grieve, but don't suffer alone Engage with the pain as a motive Today of all days, see How the most dangerous thing is to love How you will heal and you'll rise above

Achilles, jump now You are absent of cause or excuse So self-indulgent and self-referential No audience could ever want you You crave the applause, yet hate the attention Then miss it, your act is a ruse It is empty, Achilles, so end it all now It's a pointless resistance for you

Achilles, just put down the bottle Don't listen to what you've consumed It's chaos, confusion, and wholly unworthy Of feeding and it's wholly untrue You may feel no purpose nor a point for existing It's all just conjecture and gloom And there may not be meaning, so find one and seize it Do not waste your self on this roof

Feel your breath course frankly below And see life as a worthy opponent Crowned by an overture bold and beyond Ah, it's more courageous to overcome You want the acclaim, it's not worth it, Achilles More poignant than fame or the taste of another

Don't listen, Achilles, but be real and just jump You dense motherfucker (you're worth more, Achilles) You will not be more than a rat in the gutter (so much more than a rat)

You want my opinion (no one asked your opinion) My opinion you've got You asked for my counsel (no one asked for your thoughts)

I gave you my thoughts Be done with this now, and jump off the roof Can you hear me Achilles? I'm talking to you

Throw yourself into the unknown with pace and a fury defiant Clothe yourself in beauty untold and see life as a means to a triumph

Achilles, come down.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things (Taylor Swift)

Remus gets super drunk after the Prank and gives a fucking performance on top of the coffee table in front of the entirety of Gryffindor. Sirius is bright red. James is on the verge of tears. Severus is gaping. And Remus is seething.

You woke the wolf. Now watch it bite.

And there are no rules when you show up here Bass beat rattling the chandelier Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year So why'd you have to rain on my parade? I'm shaking my head, I'm locking the gates

It was so nice being friends again There I was giving you a second chance But you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand And therein lies the issue, friends don't try to trick you And so I took an axe to a mended fence But I'm not the only friend you've lost lately If only you weren't so shady

Here's a toast to my real friends They don't care about the HE SAID, SHE SAID And here's to my baby He ain't reading what they call me lately And here's to my mama Had to listen to all this drama And here's to you... Cause forgiveness is a nice thing to do

Hahaha, I can't even say it with a straight face!

This is why we can't have nice things, darling Because you break them, I had to take them away This is why we can't have nice things, honey Did you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me? This is why we can't have nice things

right where you left me (Taylor Swift)

Remus is pretty sure he died on October 31, 1981. He’s not sure why his body’s still moving.

Friends break up, friends get married Strangers get born, strangers get buried Trends change, rumors fly through new skies But I'm right where you left me Matches burn after the other Pages turn and stick to each other Wages earned and lessons learned But I'm right where you left me

Help, I'm still at the restaurant Still sitting in a corner I haunt Cross-legged in the dim light They say, "what a sad sight" I swear you could hear a hair pin drop Right when I felt the moment stop Glass shattered on the white cloth Everybody moved on I stayed there Dust collecting on my pinned-up hair They expected me to find somewhere Some perspective, but I sat and stared

Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it She's still 23 inside her fantasy How it was supposed to be Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion? Break-ups happen every day, you don't have to lose it She's still 23 inside her fantasy And you're sitting in front of me

At the restaurant, when I was still the one you want Cross-legged in the dim light, everything was just right

I'm sure that you got a wife out there Kids and Christmas, but I'm unaware Cause I'm right where I cause no harm, mind my business If our love died young, I can't bear witness And it's been so long But if you ever think you got it wrong

I'm right where you left me You left me no choice but to stay here forever...

Every Day a Little Death (from “The Count of Monte Cristo”)

Remus Lupin, waiting.

Waiting, waiting, waiting…

For what, he’s not sure. Maybe death. Maybe madness.

Right now all he’s got is lonely.

Lonely, lonely, lonely; la, la, la…

Come out, come out, wherever you are, Peter. Come out and kill me, you coward.

Another day, another week Another month, another year Another day, another night Until it’s day again The sun has fled, I go to bed And scratch a line on the wall Another day, where nothing changes at all

And everyday shuffles by like the day before! On its way to the blackest of skies And everyday a little death comes and paces the floor! And a little bit more of me dies... Another day, another week Another month, another year Another night I spend alone Until it’s day again Our little star has moved away And all the world is a blur I only see I am not me Without her

Everyday a little death for everyday I die Everyday a little death and still I know not why...

He will come back! Perhaps but still… He will return to me! Another prayer You’ve got to live for today I will live when we’re together again Everyday I will pray until then

And everyday another prayer will bring him close to me And every night out little star we will share The one day when I open my eyes He will be standing right over there, one day

There’s something I must say I wanted to protect you

I wish there was a way I could make it untrue I heard the news today I fear the worst has happened An accident occurred He is dead! Dead and gone Rest in peace may flights of angels sing him to his rest Let me hold and help to heal you!

Everyday a little death...

tolerate it (Taylor Swift)

Remus Lupin. Abandoned, alone, aimless. Unwanted, unseen, unloved. Mad, morbid, monster.

He wonders if in the next life, he’ll be dealt some better cards.

Best not hope. Best not be greedy. He could be dead -

Isn’t sadness better?

I sit and watch you reading with your head low I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed I sit and watch you I notice everything you do or don't do You're so much older and wiser and I

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid Use my best colors for your portrait Lay the table with the fancy shit And watch you tolerate it

I greet you with a battle hero's welcome I take your indiscretions all in good fun I sit and listen I polish plates until they gleam and glisten You're so much older and wiser and I While you were out building other worlds, where was I? Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life Drawing hearts in the byline Always taking up too much space or time You assume I'm fine But what would you do if I

Break free and leave us in ruins Took this dagger in me and removed it Gain the weight of you then lose it Believe me, I could do it! If it's all in my head tell me now Tell me I've got it wrong somehow I know my love should be celebrated But you tolerate it

Téir Abhaile Riu (Celtic Woman)

Sirius being Sirius and Remus and James trying to reign him in. I don’t know. Just vibes, I guess - three soft little gays living out a domestic half-insane life on a little farm in Wales, not a mile from the ashen sea.

Stay here and never you mind The lights of the town are blinding you The sailors they come and they go But listen to what's reminding you Handsome men surrounding you Dancing a reel around you

Listen to the music flow I'm falling for the flow of home I'm home to dance till dawning

Stay awhile and we'll dance together now As the light is falling We'll reel away till the break of day And dance together till morning

No One Knows Us (BANNERS, Carly Paige)

James, Sirius, and Remus are queerplatonic partners. Well, James is theirs - Sirius and Remus are dating. In love. But they and James, they’re not. Not that it matters - every assumes, from their atypical affection, that they are.

James wishes he could be with them, sometimes. The way he wants. Like it’s normal. Without all the prying eyes.

He wonders if he stole a pirate ship and sailed them somewhere else, if it would be any different. Any easier.

Loving the right people shouldn’t be a burden.

Wish I could kiss you when I wanna Without all the fear and all the drama Kill to hold your hand in public I could try to fight the feeling Dull it down like sleeping without dreaming

I wanna push you up against the wall Want them all to hear me call you baby I know it's never gonna happen And I've learned to accept that I accept that

I need you closer Can we go somewhere? No one knows us Leave our world behind We can hole up in a motel room Where no one knows us

See You Again (Carrie Underwood)

The Marauders as they die, one by one. James too early, Sirius too soon, Remus too late. Reunited wherever wizards go when they die, after a long, hard road of what felt like a whole lot of goddamn nothing.

But here they are, at last: alone no longer.

Said goodbye, turned around And you were gone, gone, gone Faded into the setting sun, slipped away But I won't cry cause I know I'll never be lonely For you are the stars to me You are the light I follow

I can hear those echoes in the wind at night Calling me back in time, back to you In a place far away where the water meets the sky The thought of it makes me smile You are my tomorrow

Sometimes I feel my heart is breaking But I stay strong and I hold on cause I know...

I will see you again This is not where it ends I will carry you with me Til I see you again I will see you again...

Bloom (The Paper Kites)

James and Sirius and Remus, loving each other. And not knowing what queerplatonic partners are until Severus and Lily shove a Muggle book into their hands with sweet, manic grins.

“Oh,” James says, with wonder. Sirius kisses him. Remus takes his hand. James looks at them, his eyes wide and twinkling. “Oh, that’s us.”

In the morning when I wake And the sun is coming through Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness, And you fill my head with you

Shall I write it in a letter? Shall I try to get it down? Oh, you fill my head with pieces Of a song I can't get out

Can I take it to a morning Where the fields are painted gold And the trees are filled with memories Of the feelings never told?

When the evening pulls the sun down, And the day is almost through, Oh, the whole world it is sleeping, But my world is you

Can I be close to you?

Me and My Husband (Mitski)

Sirius and James. Fight me.

(Oh, and Remus - hopelessly in love with them and chasing after their shenanigans as the world stretches out before them, endless.)

I steal a few breaths from the world for a minute And then I'll be nothing forever And all of my memories And all of the things I have seen will be gone With my eyes, with my body, with me

But me and my husband, we're doing better It's always been just him and me together So I bet all I have on that furrowed brow

And I'm the idiot with the painted face In the corner, taking up space But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved And at least in this lifetime, we're sticking together Me and my husband, we're sticking together

You & Jennifer (bülow)

Regulus, angry and bitter, left alone in his big black bed wondering what’s so fucking amazing about Lily Evans that could make James want her more than him.

OR

Remus, so fucking in love with his two best friends… his two best friends, who are so fucking in love with each other, who look at each other like they’re the world, who fuck Remus when the world is ending. His two best friends… assholes.

Listen, no, we don't need to be enemies Ain't got a vision of us in the future with a white picket fence and eternal decisions Now I'm sitting here wondering, when did this all start?

Would rather be the girl that got away than be under your thumb Don't need to spend no more time on you, not like I was in love Not that I'm having a nervous breakdown, I'm just let down You don't know what that's like though to wait up all night So I thank you for teaching me how I could live without you Never needed me, I don't need you

Fuck you and Jennifer, I know that you're out with her Go pretend that you're just friends I'll pretend that I'm not hurt I know all the shit I heard, you can take these bitter words Fuck you and Jennifer Go fucking make love to her

Soon You’ll Get Better (Taylor Swift, The Chicks)

James, surrounded by people he can’t fix.

James, holding a screaming Sirius against his chest as he sobs and shakes from the fifth nightmare that week.

James, brushing salve across the scars of a terrified and bruised Remus after yet another full moon.

James, trying to lure a quiet and cold Peter back to them with candy as he recedes even further away into Slytherin robes.

James, fucking Lily; James, kissing Severus; James, touching Regulus -

James, doomed to love people he can’t help.

The buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair I didn't tell you I was scared That was the first time we were there Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you Desperate people find faith, so now I pray too And I say to you

I know delusion when I see it in the mirror You like the nicer nurses, you make the best of a bad deal I just pretend it isn't real I'll paint the kitchen neon, I'll brighten up the sky I know I'll never get it, there's not a day that I won't try And I'll say to you

And I hate to make this all about me But who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do if there's no you? This won't go back to normal, if it ever was It's been years of hoping, and I keep saying it because cause I have to

Soon you'll get better Soon you'll get better You'll get better soon Cause you have to.

Dance Alone (Blanks)

James Potter being his usual idiotic adorable self. (It’s just the vibes, man.)

Been staring at the wall today, to find some hidden meaning My momma called to ask me how I'm feeling I've been running out of things to think So what's the point of dreaming? Called all my friends cause I cant get along with all my demons And I've been watching from a distance how the seasons change

Been staring at the wall today, still looking for some meaning I tried talking to myself for a change to ask me how I'm feeling I've been running out of room to think I need a higher ceiling

I've been lost, lost in the rhythm lately I don't know, know how to dance alone

Strawberry Blond (Mitski)

James falls in love with Sirius first - make no mistake, it was absolutely Sirius first. Because Sirius was just so bright, and so lovely, and so daring, and he made James laugh as they ran and drove and flew for miles without a direction. Anything for a touch.

And then there came Remus - beautiful, sweet, kind Remus, his eyes so gentle and his smiles so pure, and James wanted to hold him forever, wanted to take his hand and dive right into the sun, wanted to burst into flames. Anything for a taste.

And then Sirius and Remus fell in love with each other, and now James watches them from the outside, grinning behind tears and thinking, Oh god. I’m happy.

I love everybody because I love you When you stood up, walked away, barefoot And the grass where you lay left a bed in your shape I looked over it and I ached

I love everybody because I love you I don't need the city, and I don't need proof All I need, darling, is a life in your shape I picture it soft and I ache

Reach out the car window, trying to hold the wind You tell me you love her, I give you a grin Oh, all I ever wanted was a life in your shape So I follow the white lines, keep my eyes on the road as I ache

Look at you, strawberry blond Fields rolling on, I love it when you call my name Can you hear the bumblebees swarm? Watching your arm, I love it when you look my way

FML (Arizona Zervas)

James has a habit of falling for people so fierce he can never refuse them. Regulus is just the last one - the one he keeps, even if he dies still trying to figure out how.

(This is the James and Regulus theme song, I’m calling it.)

I might let you drive me crazy Usually I ain't the type to stay Cause you could fall in, and go psycho Ain't no telling where this might go But I take my chances either way

You look like somebody that could really hold it down You look like somebody that would always stick around I know you probably crazy All my friends said stay away but that shit just don't faze me Got a little bit of sass, I like that You don't take no shit, yeah you fight back Never let a dude hit it on the first night I can't even sleep over til I wife that All these bitches in my phone, hit the boy But I've been curving everyone for you Girl I would give you every single password All you gotta do is let me through

Imma keep it honest, I know that you got a plan I know you ain't perfect, but basic bitches never last I don't usually do this type of shit So baby trust me when I tell you that I'm all about it Yeah, I might fall in love and let you fuck my life up Just so I could go and write a song about it

Last man left you brokenhearted, let me treat you right If you need me I could pull up any night You just say the words, girl, I don't need a reason Give me something more than just a lover on the weekend

Come and fuck my life up.

Lay Me Down (Sam Smith)

If James married Regulus instead, but the war still tore them apart and to shreds.

They still fall, they still die, they still lose… but James is captivated by grey eyes rather than green ones, at least in this lifetime. At least for now.

Yes, I do, I believe that one day I will be where I was Right there, right next to you And it's hard, the days just seem so dark The moon, and the stars are nothing without you Your touch, your skin, where do I begin? No words can explain the way I'm missing you Deny this emptiness, this hole that I'm inside These tears, they tell their own story Told me not to cry when you were gone But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong

Can I lay by your side, next to you? You And make sure you're alright I'll take care of you I don't want to be here if I can't be with you

Forever (... is a long time) (Halsey)

Remus didn’t know anyone could love him, the way he is. You can’t blame him for letting James and Sirius slip through his fingers when he didn’t know they would’ve stayed forever.

He wonders if happiness still sounds like his name on their lips.

I spent a long time watering a plant made out of plastic And I cursed the ground for growing green

I spent a long time substituting honest with sarcastic And I cursed my tongue for being mean

Weightless, breathless, destitute Motionless and absolute He cut me open, sucked the poison from an aging wound Now fifty thousand walking deads would cower at this small brunette It's a nice surprise knowing six feet high Would reach and grab the moon if I should ask

Or just imply that I want you to be more light So I could look inside his eyes And get the colors just right

But love built provinces, callouses, break promises Cause I could never hold a perfect thing and not demolish it What am I thinking? What does this mean? How could somebody ever love me?

"Tell him he's got bad news coming..."

Used To This (Camila Cabello)

James and Sirius, crazy kids in mad love in a big Muggle city, dancing and kissing under the lights every night… and then meeting Remus, and wondering if all these years they’ve been mistaking magic for something else, because this, love, this is what magic is.

No, I never liked San Francisco Never thought it was nothing special Til you kissed me there No, I never liked windy cities But I think maybe when you're with me I like everywhere

It's the strangest feeling Midnight, I'm not leaving No, for once, I think I'll stay I say your name, just listen Doesn't it sound different? Never whispered it this way

It's gonna take me a minute But I could get used to this The feeling of your fingertips The feeling of another kiss Like every tattoo on your skin I'm memorizing every inch

The callouses on your fingers I admired them from a distance Now they're on my cheek

Oh, I've known you forever Now I know you better Let's just get carried away And it bears repeating Now my heart's bleeding When you tell me that you'll stay

It's gonna take me a minute But I could get used to this I could get used to this...

Love Me Like You (Little Mix)

You cannot tell me James and Sirius did not stand on top of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and serenade Remus with this while he covered his bright red face with his hands and damn near cried with embarrassment and laughter, because they did. I promise you, they did.

I solemnly swear.

Darling, he can't buy my love It's you I'm dreaming of

so baby, baby Come and save me

Last night I lay in bed so blue Cause I realized the truth They can't love me like you I've tried to find somebody new Baby, they ain't got a clue Can't love me like you

Come Home With Me (from “Hadestown”)

Sirius and James tripping over themselves trying to say hi the first time they meet Remus, his nose buried in a book in a small cafe, at a table by the window in a dress covered in sunflowers, his cheeks pink and his smile blinding.

OR

James, tripping over himself to win Severus over, who just isn’t having it. (Fuck off, Potter.) (Please?) (No.)

You wanna talk to her?

Yes!

Go on. Don't come on too strong.

Come home with me.

Who are you?

The man who's gonna marry you

Is he always like this?

Yes

Your name is like a melody

A singer, is that what you are?

I also play the lyre...

Oh, a liar, AND a player too! I've met too many men like you.

Oh, no. I'm not like that.

He's not like any man you've met.

That's what I'm working on - A song to fix what's wrong. Take what's broken, make it whole; A song so beautiful, it brings the world back into tune, back into time. And all the flowers will bloom... When you become my wife.

Oh, he's crazy. Why would I become his wife?

Maybe because he'll make you feel alive.

Alive? That's worth a lot... What else ya got?

You Belong With Me (Taylor Swift)

Sirius and James, unable to figure out why they're so bothered by the amount of people who have suddenly started flirting with Remus after the summer of fifth year.

He's just... he's theirs. Their werewolf. Their scrawny motherfucker. Their Moony.

Just.

Theirs.

Oh.

She doesn't get your humor like I do She'll never know your story like I do

Walk in the streets with you in your worn-out jeans I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be And you've got a smile that can light up this whole town I haven't seen it in a while You say you're fine, I know you better than that

Standing by and waiting at your backdoor Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry And I know your favorite songs, and you tell me about your dreams Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me...

Have you ever thought, just maybe, you belong with me? You belong with me.

Scrawny (Wallows)

I just really love Remus Lupin, okay?

Used to be level with all my friends Still wear the same shoes I did back then I don't think they've ever been untied I can't regret the things I don't try I'd switch it up but I don't like change Only content if things stay the same Don't care to watch the story unfold Hate feeling like I'm not in control I've been sleeping with the light on I tend to freak myself out Will you come a little closer?

I say the wrong shit at the right times If I'm offending them, I don't mind Maybe they all should listen to me It isn't all about what you see Question though, how do I look to you? Am I so thin that you can see through? I've been sleeping with the light off I wanted to remember Will you come a little closer now?

I'll be one of those people you remember They'll be looking at us when were together I'll be a mannequin you can dismember You don't like my clothes but you still like my smile Take me home to mom but it'll take awhile They might think they're cooler than me by a mile I can still have wisdom and look like a child

I'm a scrawny motherfucker with a cool hairstyle

Hate You (Seann Bowe)

Severus and Lily after the Incident. Still loving each other, but not knowing why or how. Having a million things to say, but never the words.

I'm sorry. What a tragic fucking joke.

Look at me now, such a pitiful place You found someone I thought that'd help erase These crazy thoughts that we were never broken You can't see red flags through rose colored glasses!

I killed you in my head now If I see you out with friends I'll just tell myself that it's a phantom or illusion Guess I haven't chosen which

I hate that I miss you, I hate that I'm lost I hate those dead flowers you taped to your wall I hate that you're okay and I can't move on I hate that somehow this is all my fault! I hate that I'm wide awake watching the door I hate these long showers sitting on the floor I hate in the end it was me who was wrong I hate that I don't really hate you at all

But I kind of wish I did...

I don't really hate you at all.

Bitter And The Sweetness (The Ready Set)

James and Sirius and Remus, dancing in the rain. Sirius is screaming up at the sky, and James is pulling Remus against him, quelling his shivering in an instant.

“I love you,” he whispers, and Remus beams, throwing his arms around his neck and kissing him as Sirius screams, “ELECTRIFY ME MOTHERFUCKER!” at the clouds.

That’s love, bitch.

Troublemaker look on your face Followed by a smile and I melt away It ain't always been this lovely We turn the ice and start a fire, melt away

It don't happen overnight It's laughing after fights Knowing which song I should sing to make you smile again Your favorite flowers How I know before you say, "It's gonna be okay"

Love, I think we got time to make mistakes Bitter and the sweetness, I just love the taste

You give me trouble in the best way When you let your hair down I can't look away You've just always been that lovely We turn the dark into light You'll be staying close

Like the time we got stuck out in the rain When you took my hand said, "Baby, we should stay."

Serenade (BANNERS)

James Potter's ghost, watching over Sirius Black forevermore. You don't just leave your soulmate behind. Never.

Stolen, some people stay a life, some for a moment Some hearts they set a light just to be frozen And so we're out of time, broken But now you've got the chance to travel oceans I hope the world's as wide as you were hoping Don't let heartache cloud your mind

If the days go darker, darling And you lose your way Go on, go on, I'm not beside you But I'll be the song there in the silence Let go, let go, darling, it's over now You're on your own, but I'm on your shoulder I'll always be your serenade, serenade, I I'll always be your serenade

They told you It's not the being drunk, it's being sober That's when it really hits you that it's over It's hard to say goodbye So you can keep me Somewhere out of reach but if you need me Just hum these memories and you can feel me I'm always standing by Go and write your story, darling You will find your place

You can always remember that I'm here to ease your mind I'm on your side and You can call me and just like that I'll sing a song to bring you home, babe

It's Quiet Uptown (from "Hamilton")

Remus, alone. His husband gone, his friends dead, his family murdered. Nothing left for him, until...

"Padfoot."

A sheepish smile.

"Hi, Moony."

Remus takes a deep breath. Sirius reaches for his hand.

They'll figure it out.

There are moments that the words don't reach There is suffering too terrible to name You hold your child as tight as you can And push away the unimaginable The moments when you're in so deep It feels easier to just swim down And so they move uptown And learn to live with the unimaginable

I spend hours in the garden, I walk alone to the store And it's quiet uptown, I never liked the quiet before And I pray, that never used to happen before

If you see him in the street Walking by himself, talking to himself, have pity You would like it uptown, it's quiet uptown He is working through the unimaginable His hair has gone grey He passes every day They say he walks the length of the city You knock me out, I fall apart Can you imagine?

Look at where we are Look at where we started I know I don't deserve you But hear me out That would be enough If I could spare his life If I could trade his life for mine He'd be standing here right now And you would smile and that would be enough

I don't pretend to know The challenges we're facing I know there's no replacing what we've lost And you need time But I'm not afraid I know who I married Just let me stay here by your side That would be enough

There are moments that the words don't reach There's a grace too powerful to name We push away what we can never understand We push away the unimaginable They are standing in the garden Standing there side by side She takes his hand It's quiet uptown

Forgiveness, can you imagine? Forgiveness, can you imagine? If you see him in the street Walking by her side, talking by her side, have pity They are going through the unimaginable

Dynasty (MIIA)

The Marauders are dead and gone, did you know?

But they were great once. Unstoppable. Invincible, young, in love.

Can you tell? Can you...

Remember?

Some days, it's hard to see if I was a fool or you a thief Made it through the maze to find my one in a million And now you're just a page torn from the story I'm living The scar I can't reverse And the more it heals, the worse it hurts Gave you every piece of me, no wonder it's missing Don't know how to be so close to someone so distant

And all I gave you is gone Tumbled like it was stone It all fell down, it all fell down

Thought we built a dynasty that heaven couldn't shake Thought we built a dynasty like nothing ever made Thought we built a dynasty forever couldn't break up.

Dancing After Death (Matt Maeson)

Oh. It's you. You're here.

I never thought I'd see you again.

Do I know better than this? You're a word that I can't forget Though the thought rattles my brain Will you fold or will you remain?

If I don't get better than this man in my skin If I let go, would you hold on? Would we fly? Is it safer if we just say that we tried? Are we laughing at the danger?

As the sun waits to eclipse And the taste teases my lips I'm too tired to wrestle with it Will we burn, or will we repent?

Are we dancing after death, you and I?

[hannagoldworthy]

AWOL 5

(This chapter contains some description of a medical procedure using maggots. The description is incredibly vague, but if you are squeamish, be warned.)

(Also, Hondo Ohnaka is a world-class asshat who absolutely refused to let me write him correctly for pages on end, so I cut him out until he could behave.)

The morning of the landing on Florrum dawned, and Savage and Maul watched bewilderedly as Barriss hurried about the ship in the process of packing a knapsack.  “You know how to change his medication, right Savage?” she asked as she shoved an alarming amount of supplies and equipment into the bag.

“Uh…yes, but…”

“You aren’t…leaving us, are you?”

Somehow she had managed to fit every single gel-tub full of nano-droids into the sack, and that was not a reassuring sign.  “Only for a few hours.  Florrum essentially belongs to the Ohnaka gang, and they will most definitely search the ship as soon as they can reach it.  Hiding in the vents won’t do any good, because they know that trick.  I’m taking the things we absolutely cannot do without and running with them as soon as we hit the ground.”

“I can do that,” Savage said.  It wasn’t that he doubted Barriss’s logic, far to the contrary; if push came to shove, she could do more for Maul at this stage than he could, and he wanted her to stay with him.  And…well, she was so very small and skinny compared to him, and there was such a lot of weight in the bag…

She sighed.  “I appreciate the offer, but it has to be me.”

“Why.”

“Because,” she glared back at Maul, “the Confederacy has placed a sizable bounty on any Mirialan found outside of their borders.  The price gets steeper the more skilled a Mirialan is; a doctor and a former Jedi would merit the Ohnaka gang a great deal of money.”

Savage looked at Maul, who seemed just as lost as he was, and back at Barriss, who was hefting her knapsack experimentally and studying the liquid nutrition bags.  “I don’t get it,” the older brother said at last.  “What do the Separatists want with Mirialans?”

“Labor, mostly,” Barriss said, selecting a few more nutrition bags and gingerly placing them into one particular pocket.  “Mirial has been in a catastrophic recession nearly a quarter of a century, since the Republic’s main shipyards were moved to Corellia.  The most resourceful and most educated of our people left the planet in droves until it was a ghost of the culture it once was; scores of immigration drives and relocation benefits failed to have much of an impact, unfortunately.  And that was when Mirial forbade emigration and threw in her lot with the Separatists, who brought back the shipyards, and took direct action to populate them.”

“They are hunting their own people?”

Maul’s eyes narrowed.  “Have you run into this issue as a Jedi?”

“When I was Jedi, any bounty hunter knew that the only way they would get to me was through hundreds of overprotective super-soldiers, to say nothing of my fellow Jedi.  Not to mention there weren’t too terribly many of us Mirialans in the Order to begin with; the Senate asked the Order to refrain from recruiting from Mirial around the time I built my first lightsaber.  It just was not worth the effort for anyone to try capturing one of us when a lone professor too poor to hire bodyguards could get them a decent check with less risk.”

It seemed like a terrible state of affairs all around, and Savage was sympathetic; Maul, however, was naturally more suspicious.  “How do we know you’re not just crafting a story in order to escape us?”

“Are you suggesting that I would willingly abandon a patient?” she snarled.  “I swore an oath, Maul.”

“You also swore an oath to the Jedi Order.”

“The Jedi Order requires no oaths or vows; we break no promises by leaving it.  Mirialan physicians, however…?” she chuckled darkly, and made pointed eye contact with the patient in question.  “Only death can part me from my duty.  You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

***

They landed on the night side of the planet, and touchdown went smoothly.  True to her word, Barriss was out the door as soon as the ship stopped moving, taking off toward the south to avoid the large town ten clicks to the north.

Savage watched her go, even though the sulfurous air stunk like rotten eggs.  He had to reassure himself that she knew what she was doing, and so it was only when her dark form faded from sight that he retreated back into the ship.

Maul had turned on the local comm channel, and Savage doubted that it was coincidence that he chose to examine the ‘wanted’ ads first. Sure enough, there was a bounty out for Mirialans in general, asking for them to be brought to Raxus Prime for ‘relocation.’

“She was telling the truth.”

“Of course she was, brother.  She’s not very good at lying.”

Maul shot him a look.  “Neither are you.”

Savage shrugged.  “Being dishonest got a man beaten on Dathomir.”

“Being a man got a man beaten on Dathomir.”

“And that is why we’re not going back…hey, is that Ventress?”

“…Is it?” Maul conceded, tilting the holo toward Savage. “I confess I’ve never met the woman.”

“Son of a gundark, she survived the purge.  I guess that shouldn’t surprise me.  She’s tougher than rancor leather, that one.”

Maul raised a disparaging eyebrow.  “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were glad of the development. Didn’t she mistreat you?”

Savage clenched his hands into fists.  “She mistreated me and many of my brothers.  I’d welcome the chance to repay the favor.  I’d just thought Grievous got to her first.”

“Right, Grievous; you’ll have to tell me more about him…hold on…”

There was another ad, this time for Barriss specifically, her familiar face front-and-center.  MISSING, it said, listing off a dizzyingly high price for her safe return to the Republic.  There were lesser rewards as well for any information regarding her whereabouts, and a burner comm code which would direct any informants to a Commander Gree.

“That could be enough to buy a moon or something,” Savage said.

“Hmm,” Maul hummed around the hand on his lips.  “Let me try…”  He typed in a specific search for Barriss Offee; she had a third price on her head from the Separatists, supposedly for information regarding a planet called Umbara. “What have you been up to, Doctor?”

“Do they have any word on what happened on Umbara?”

“It’s likely protected information.”  Maul studied the posters for a few seconds more before he tapped on the holocommunicator.

“Did you just claim the bounties?”

“Of course I claimed the bounties; we don’t want anyone going after our Doctor until we’re done with her.  Especially if Sing is still active after all these years…”

A knock sounded on the open hatch, and Maul hurriedly switched off the holocommunicator seconds before a Weequay sauntered casually toward the medbay.

“Howdy, neighbors!” Hondo Ohnaka said with a grin.  “Welcome to Florrum!”

***

Barriss returned in the wee hours of the early morning to find that Savage and Maul had set up camp around the freighter.  Maul only realized she was there when she peeked into the tent Savage had rigged with several medbay sheets and what was left of the crate boxes.

“You’re still awake?” she whispered.

He nodded to Savage, who had once again taken several pillows and curled up on the ground, covered with a number of blankets.  “It was his turn to rest.”

She slipped into the enclosure, examining the equipment carefully.  “Did the Ohnaka gang force you out here like this?”

“Indirectly; they had this little demon of a Kowakian monkey lizard that relieved itself all over everything.  Savage decided to get the medical equipment out of there before it decided to eat something important.”

She set down the bag.  “I suppose that means we won’t be able to go back inside until we do a decent deep clean.”

“Well, we could just leave the hatch open and let the atmosphere fumigate it.”

That earned him a soft laugh.  “It would help.”

She busied herself in noting his vitals and changing the bags in the same process she had obviously used for years.  He studied her every movement, the painkillers making him feel like he was in a waking dream.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked after a few minutes.  He didn’t particularly want to sleep; his dreams had never been kind to him, but after Lotho Minor they were notably more vicious.

“Because it’s time to change the medication.”

“That’s an excellent evasive answer, Doctor, but I’m sure you know what I mean.”

“It’s been a long night.  I can’t presume to know anything at the moment.”

“Barriss.”  That got her; her eyes focused on his face more steadily than they had for the past three days.  “Why are you helping us?  And don’t give me the same answer about your oath.  You could have walked away when you saw me, but you did not.”

“And leave you in the state you were in?  My conscience would have hounded me to an early grave.” She was done changing the bags by now, and found the medbay chair where Savage had left it.  She sat down, and leaned upon the bed.  Good; she was giving their conversation her full attention.

“But what do you have to gain from this?  Savage and I cannot pay you,” and nor did she have any guarantee that they would not turn her in for the money she was worth, or simply kill her.  Maul did not care for either option; the Republic and the Confederacy could learn too much about him from her, and she was far too valuable an asset to kill. But, there was no way she could really know his motivations.

Barriss shrugged.  “I suppose…clarity of purpose?”

He stared at her; even Savage was here out of a misplaced sense of filial piety, and to fill a void left by a brother that was gone. She had to want more than that.  “Did you not have that with the Jedi?”

She raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.  “Do you have that with the Sith?”

“Touché, but you have to admit the recruitment pitch was worth a try.”

“I appreciate the offer, but I’m not any more suited to the Sith than I am for the Jedi.”  Her eyes grew distant.  “That was made quite clear.”

The next question he had for her was a risk; obviously there had been some strong emotions involved in her decision to desert, so he had to phrase this carefully.  “I happened to read a poster about you; it said you were wanted in connection to something that happened on Umbara.  Would you be willing to talk to me about it?”

She looked askance at him.  “What is your purpose for that information?”

He shrugged.  “It pays to know the people closest to you.  And you, Doctor, are full of guile, so I want to know your capabilities in case you ever decide I’m not worth the risk to your life.”

“That’s not going to happen,” she said with a touch to his arm; he noticed it, as he noticed any sort of contact which he did not initiate, but to her it seemed almost instinctive to make this small, comforting gesture.

“Is it not?”

“Never,” she reiterated.  “But…well, I’ll tell you a little bit about Umbara, since my word seems to mean so little to you.”

“Well, you were a Jedi…”

She smiled again, shaking her head.  “You’re incorrigible.”

“You’re stalling.”

“Brat.” There was an intake of breath, and her eyes were once again light-years away.  “Let’s just say that on Umbara, I was forced to choose between my obedience to my military superiors and my sacred oath as a doctor.  Many people died as a result, and I was expected to accept that outcome because they were not my faction’s political allies.  I chose not to do so.”  She pulled the sheets up to cover him more fully, avoiding his eyes.  “Compassion is supposed to transcend division, not be dictated by it.  I am here because you need help which I can give; I shall require nothing further, in the end.”

Every hour of training he had received told him that such a philosophy was naïve, foolish even, weak.  And yet, in gentle Barriss Offee’s eyes he saw none of those things; she had to require something more.  People simply were not kind without motive or reason, not even Jedi…especially not Jedi.

And yet, she was not a Jedi any longer…

“Go to sleep, Maul; I’ll take the next watch.  You’ll need your strength when we start the treatment tomorrow.”

He closed his eyes to make a show of compliance, but he had a feeling he would feel no rest, even if the drugs did manage to render him unconscious.

***

That morning, after breakfast, Barriss retrieved one particular jar of bacta from her rucksack and brought it with her when she and Savage went through the ever-present process of changing the medication bags.  “I am going to start a procedure today,” she said conversationally.  “It is one that I could not do before now because I hadn’t the necessary tools, which I was able to gather during my absence yesterday.  It is vitally necessary before I even begin to regrow your lower half; however, it also has the tendency of making patients uncomfortable.”

“Indeed?”  Maul was wearing that expression which told her his patience was only sustained by the fact that she was currently entertaining him.

She refrained from showing frustration outwardly, instead taking the bacta out and holding it in her hands in a way so that he could not yet see inside.  “There is a great deal of necrotic tissue in your abdominal region…not as much as there should be, really, but I’ll attribute that to your skill in using the Dark Side.  The dead tissue likely protected your vital organs from collapsing to infection years ago, but it has served its purpose.  It needs to be debrided so that healthy tissue can be cloned to take its place.”

“Debrided…as in cut away?”

“I can debride it surgically, yes, but the damage is extensive, and in places far too delicate for me to reach.  If I was to take a scalpel to you, or use chemicals, there is a chance that I would injure you further.”

“So, what do you propose to do?”

She made a show of opening the tub of bacta and showing its contents to Savage.  “I intend to use sterilized maggots.”

Neither man jumped at her reveal, but she’d been expecting that; Maul had lived on a trash planet for years, and Dathomirian insect pupae were a delicacy in certain regions.  However, she had wanted to make decently sure that there were no phobias, because most patients she’d worked with were startled…and one really never knew just what sort of horrifying mutations could happen to maggots in a place such as Lotho Minor.

Still, her attempt at tact left her feeling rather silly, especially with the nasty little grin that showed up on Maul’s face.  “Can I see it closely?” he asked.  She complied, and quick as a flash he grabbed a single maggot and popped it in his mouth.  His smirk of triumph turned into a grimace of distaste, and she couldn’t help the little half-smile that turned up her own mouth.

“Like I said, they are disinfected.  I refuse to put something that’s been chewing on a dead skalder on my patient’s skin without cleaning it first.”

Maul spat the dead maggot out on the floor, and Savage caught Barriss’s attention, his eyes wide and unblinking with suppressed merriment. “Excuse me, Doctor.”  He slipped out of the tent, and a few moments later uproarious laughter echoed throughout the encampment.

“Enjoy the feeling while it lasts, apprentice!” Maul shouted.  “I WILL HAVE MY VINDICA…wait, are you starting?”

She batted her eyelashes in her best affectation of innocence.  “I find it usually helps if the patient is somewhat distracted. Tough guy or not, the sensation can be rather disconcerting.”

He scoffed.  “You are coddling someone who has lived in the garbage for more than a decade.”

“I’m not coddling you.  I am treating you with respect.”

“I’ve not earned your respect.”

“Have you not?  You’ve lived through many circumstances that should have killed you, and would have killed me, had I encountered them.”

His eyes narrowed.  “Flattery will get you nowhere, Doctor.”

“Ah, yes.  You may have lived through getting cut in half, falling a good click if not two, and living in and subsisting upon refuse for a dozen years, but your utter and complete lack of oral hygiene totally negates any other accomplishment and you should feel bad.”

He rolled his eyes.  “Now you are mocking me.”

“I am having a quiet laugh at your expense, yes.  Such a thing also suits as a distraction.”

He was silent for a few moments, obviously trying to come up with some sort of response; he seemed to need to be the one who had the last word in an argument.

“After years of medical training, do you not trust the steadiness of your own hands?”

“Absolutely not,” she replied, setting the last maggot at the remains of his spine.  “All of that training actually served to break any sort of pride in my own abilities, actually.  It pays to know one’s limits, and my hands get shaky at this sort of thing.”

“Couldn’t you just program the nano-droids to do this?”

She sat up and, with a tug on the Force, pulled over the tub of the tech in question; as the maggots worked their way through the necrotic tissue, she would spread the gel in their wake so that the droids could start cloning before Maul bled too much.  “I have done so in the past, but nano-droids are built in a way that they only have enough processing power to complete one action.  They would debride, and they would keep debriding, even once they hit healthy tissue.”  Maul made a face, and she nodded significantly.  “Exactly.  It’s best to stick to natural tools as much as possible, in my opinion.”

Savage chose then to return, still smiling tremulously under Maul’s judgmental eye.  “What’d I miss?”

“The Doctor has chosen to let me be eaten by foul-tasting vermin rather than evil technology.”

“Sounds fair.”

“What a world we live in.”

“So fancy and modern.”

“Sarcasm does not suit either of you,” and yet, she said this with a smile, which turned into a laugh when Maul of all people stuck his tongue out at her.  It was a good thing she was no longer a Jedi; it was so good to have conversations such as these without worrying about growing attached.