#and i also am drinking a lot of the tap water that makes you shit yourself

[the-acid-pear]

I really can't tell if like. I need to bathe or if I'm sick or if it's aReally that cold bc i have two pants and a shirt a sweater and a jacket and i still can't get from under the covers or I'll turn to stone. I know i had a bit of fever today, my diet will not do me any favors, but it's hard to tell.

[huuuuughes]

First Time Feeling - Mat Barzal x Reader

Pairing: Mat Barzal x Fem!Reader

Word count: 6.4k

Warnings: so much fluff, did i go overboard? maybe lol

A/N: this was my first time participating in a fic exchange and i honestly had so much fun. this is for the summer fic exchange 2k24 hosted by the lovely @wyattjohnston. it is written for the also fantastic @ahockeywrites! i am your friendly neighborhood exchange writer. i hope you enjoy it as much as i did writing it!

also i used google translate for the french. pls dont come for me if its not right im doing my best

It’s that time of year, when hockey pauses and every hockey player you know has a wedding because they scarcely get to have them in season. Growing up a coach's daughter, you were not unfamiliar with NHL weddings, and it meant your best friends were other kids from the organization your dad was in at the time. Now that you were getting to be that age it meant everyone you knew was having weddings.

Except you.

You were the one single person remaining in the bridal party for your best friend. Everyone did their best to try and include you without making it feel like third wheeling but sometimes it felt like that anyway. It wasn’t like they could help it and you were always happy for them. Weddings just seemed to rub salt in a wound now. Being alone scared you more than a lot of things. Which is why you were taking this bachelorette weekend to let loose and have fun. At least more than you usually let yourself. Your ability to do shots at a fast pace and without hesitation got you to that buzzed feeling a little too quickly.

But everyone was having fun. The band that was playing for the bar was insanely good and every song kept making you wanna dance. You managed to drag a few of your friends out onto the dance floor with you and it was the first time you felt free in a very long time.

“We’re gonna go get a drink, do you want something?!” Hannah attempts to yell over the volume of the music.

“YEAH, just water is good! Thanks!” You didn’t want to leave the dance floor- you were having a really good time. You let the music be your happy place for the moment, forgetting any problem you had before coming in the door. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed a trio of men looking at you. And then you have to do a double take, because you’d just seen those same 3 men at the previous bar, and the one before that…

Moving to a different spot on the dance floor didn’t seem to help. Hannah still wasn’t back from the bar and you were starting to think that these creeps were trying to form some kind of blockade. It was unsettling, but your usual fears were blurred by the alcohol that was currently coursing through your veins. You had forgotten there was a reason you didn’t like to drink that often. Then there was a tap on your shoulder, and as you turned around one of them was right there.

“You wanna dance sweetheart?” He screamed in your ear.

“No thanks! Just waiting for a friend!”

“I don’t see that friend anywhere right now, why don’t you want to dance?” Attempting to get closer to you, he moved forward causing you to back up into a stranger. Another one of his friends, you discovered, once you saw the first one smirk like there was some kind of inside joke that you weren’t in on.

“I said no.”

“That’s not what that outfit says.”

“Get away from me you fucking creep.” Your voice was firm, attempting to just go back to having fun. You closed your eyes, trying to let the music flow through you again. When you opened them there was yet another man coming at you, but this one didn’t feel threatening. He looked familiar, like you had maybe seen him before in passing. You couldn’t place it sober, and you definitely couldn’t in the current state you were in. He was making a beeline for you, pushing the first creep out of his way and almost onto the ground.

“Holy shit babe, there you are!You, my love, are too drunk! Time to go home!” Before you knew it he was reaching for your waist and your feet were no longer touching the ground. He throws you over his shoulder like you were nothing but a paper weight. Instead of the panic you should have felt, you relaxed over him. You didn’t fight the motion, it felt good to just stop for a moment. But then you realized that you really didn’t know who this was either and you just let a strange man pick you up and carry you out of the dance floor area.

“UM YEA HI, WHO ARE YOU?” You attempted to yell at him but the music was still loud. He either didn’t hear you or chose not to respond because you didn’t receive a response.

“Excuse me! Sir! I demand to know who you are please!”

Still nothing from him. He was like a big brick wall.

“JUST BECAUSE I'M SMALL DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN JUST MAN HANDLE ME.”

But then you were on the ground again. It had felt like years before he set you down again but when he did you were once again reunited with your friends. You finally had a chance to get a good look at the stranger who carried you. He was definitely over six feet tall, and was honestly the hottest man you’d ever seen in your life. His eyes were a soft brown color that you could almost drown in. His hair was also brown, and fell in different directions all over his head. The expression on his face was a neutral one, but you felt drawn to him.

“Girl holy shit, why didn’t you tell us those creeps were still following you?!”

“Stop shouting at him babe, you are FINE!”

“You guys failed to mention your friend was such a chatterbox when she’s intoxicated.�� The man laughed, but you could barely focus on anything with the way the world seemed to be swaying about.

“Thanks so much Mat, for rescuing our friend. She’s kind of key to the wedding festivities this weekend.”

“No problem. I hope your night gets better from here. Tell Coach I said hi. Maybe I’ll see you this weekend ladies.” He winked, like he knew he was going to but was just saying that to be clever. He looked like he felt accomplished about your frustrated state. As if he found it cute or endearing that you were so small yet had so much anger.

“You know she’s single Mat!” One of your friends interjected. And with that the handsome stranger who now had a name walked off and out of the bar, and you wondered who his friends were. You watched as a smile broke out on his face again, as if he was thinking hard about the proposition just said to him.

“Have a safe night ladies.” He lifted his head in a nod and you watched him walk out of the bar and out of your sight.

Everyone in your group had also decided that they had enough for the night and you booked it back to your hotel. The wedding was in 2 days, and the rehearsal dinner is tomorrow evening. Tonight was the last night to let loose and perhaps you had come too loose.

The next morning…

Your head was pounding. Opening your eyes was a no go, the light too painful to look at. It was like your entire head was pulsing. Liquor should definitely not be mixed with any other type of alcohol, you thought.

“WAKEY WAKEY BITCH, UP AND AT EM!” The bride came into your room, clearly more ready to tackle the day than you were.

“Oh my god Hannah. STOP YELLING. My head is killing me…” you groaned.

“Oh I know, I was there too, bestie. I’ve brought Tylenol and water, and there’s breakfast in my room. Oh and here’s some sunglasses. Those might help for a bit.” She thrust all of the items in your arms and helped you sit up without dying.

“Come on, we have a bridal party meeting, maid of honor!”

You loved Hannah, you really did, but if she didn’t lower her volume you thought your head might explode. After a quick shower, some meds, and an outfit change you were ready for the bridal party meeting there was to be had. When you walked into the room it was a mixture of excitement and groaning. All of the bridesmaids looked like they’d been through it, but the groomsmen were relaxed. The groom had his party a few weeks ago, just in case any shenanigans ensued.

“There she is!”

That voice. You knew that voice…God why did you know that voice?

You almost dropped the plate of food in your hands. When you turned around the shock of who it was rendered you speechless. It was the man who carried you across the bar last night. The man you thought you’d never see again after that embarrassing spectacle you’d caused. The memory was slowly coming back to you, and you really, really hoped there wasn’t video evidence.

“Good to see you survived your journey home.” He smirked.

“Wait! Do you know Mat?!” Clutterbuck asked. You knew Cal from your dad’s years in the league. You knew most of the people in the room, but Mat had been a pretty private guy. You didn’t really know much about him other than he was damn good at hockey and had pretty nice eyes. Since you only knew him in passing, you had never heard him talk much and drunk, you definitely did not recognize him. You felt like the blood had entirely drained from your face all you could think of was how quickly you could get out of that room.

“Apparently I do.” Your eyes tried to stay fixed on the ground as the meeting got started. It was basically just going over who was going to walk down the aisle with who and what everyone’s entrances would be for the reception.

“So, you’ll be with Mat. You guys good with that?” You locked eyes with your best friend. You knew exactly what she was doing. She was trying to play matchmaker without even asking you first. How would she even know if he was your type?

“I mean I-,” You stammered.

“Yeah, it sounds great to me.”

Finally you had to look at him. Of course he would say that, maybe he was in on it, you were being tortured by all of your friends. You had to begin lining up to practice, making sure you didn’t fall flat on your face and embarrass the bride. They all knew him, there was definitely an underlying motive. You had a feeling it was because they didn’t want everyone to pair up and you were left by yourself. It was a nice gesture, but being filled in would have felt nice so you did not in fact have a strange man picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder in a bar.

Being the maid of honor, you were last in the order to go. You waited patiently in the back of the line, the only one who was not linked in arms with their partner. Mat offered his arm to you, attempting to show some good will.

“You gonna take it?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“No.”

“Listen, I’m sorry about last night. Your friends told me to come get you by whatever means necessary so that is what I did.”

“So you decided the only way was to pick me up with no warning? Who taught you to do that?” You threw your arms up in the air almost in defeat, you didn’t know what to make of what he did. You may have been drunk but you were never going to forget looking down at the ground when being carried across the room.

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” He shrugged and still somehow managed to look smug. He knows what he’s doing, and he definitely thought that he was being charming by doing so.

“I want you to tell me why you did that! All you had to do was grab my hand and lead me away!” You’d had enough of his games. You were going to get some answers before the night was over and done with.

“They all seem to know you, but I don’t. Why is that?” You had turned to face him, staring him down in order to get him to crack. It was almost your turn. You’d run into a slight issue when the bride decided she wanted to switch up the order of things before the honors of maid of honor and best man. All this meant was more time to get him to crack, which if he had known any better, would not take you very long. His resolve was weakening, and quickly.

“I’ve been around. You just haven’t noticed me.”

“I think I would have noticed you.” It would be hard to miss someone as pretty as he was. Did you really just admit that? Your dad hadn’t been with the Islanders for several years, but you still knew who most of the team was. Based on what you had managed to Google on the walk from the meeting to the present rehearsal location was that he was a pretty damn good hockey player.

“I don’t think so sweetheart. Your friends have told me all about you too, you know.”

“Oh yeah? What did they tell you?” You were almost angry but didn’t know why.

“Well for starters they just want you to be happy. They know you haven’t been happy for a little while now.” He smiled at you, and you tried not to melt in response. The way your body reacted so physically to him when all he did was smile was not something that you could ignore.

“And what else?” You prompted.

“My last relationship was some time ago, and let’s just say it didn’t end that well. They’ve noticed I haven’t been happy either.”

“You look happy to me.”

“Looks can be deceiving. The cameras and the media pick up only what they want to see.” This time he didn’t meet your eye. Which told you everything you needed to know. You would never understand how strangers and the media thought they knew someone just by what you see them do as an athlete. As if they don’t have personal lives or things that are important to them. Your suspicions were confirmed, but not in the way you thought. Of course your friends wanted to set you up with someone. Not to be funny or to try and make a joke, but they hated to see you so unhappy. Things were starting to make a little more sense.

“So you knew their motives?” You asked, feeling bad about how you had sort of gone at him without knowing why. You couldn’t undo the years of crappy guys that you had to deal with in the past, but now you could learn to give Mat a better chance.

“Partially. I knew they wanted to set me up with someone, but I don’t enjoy the anxiety of blind dates. They didn’t want me to say anything to you- they wanted to protect you. Based on your reaction I’m guessing you don’t enjoy surprises either.”

“Correct. So what would you like to do about this?” You asked, hopeful.

“I think we should see where the weekend takes us, and go from there. How’s that sound?”

You hoped that he couldn’t see the blush starting to appear in your cheeks. Your friends did this on purpose. They wouldn’t just set you up with some hockey player they didn’t know or trust, they knew he had to be vetted first. They also knew that you wouldn’t just take being set up with someone due to your stubbornness, so this was the only way they knew how to get to you.

“I’d like that.” His smile was infectious and you could feel yourself reciprocating.

Once the rehearsal dinner was figured out, the rest of the evening seemed to go as planned. Most importantly, the bride was happy. You noticed Mat across the room, smiling at you. You were alone at the bar, and watched him excuse himself from the conversation he was having to walk your direction.

“You wanna get out of here?” It was almost a whisper, so only you could hear it. You looked around the room to make sure that your absence wouldn’t be noticed.

“I thought you’d never ask.” You took the hand that he offered you and followed him out of the room. His car was already waiting, the perks of having the wedding on Long Island was a lot of the wedding guests already lived in the area.

“I feel like a teenager sneaking out when I’m not supposed to!” He held the door open for you as you slid in, and he climbed into the driver’s seat, “Where are you taking me sir?”

The sun was starting to set, making the sky an orangish pink color. It was like all of the colors of the sky melting together, painting a beautiful scene that no camera could ever do justice. He reached over and grabbed your hand as he began to drive. It looked like he was going nowhere in particular, and he squeezed your hand gently. You appreciated a first move when you saw one, it took the anxiety out of the way and you instantly felt more relaxed around him.

“There’s somewhere I want to show you. It’s not that far from here, is that okay?” You nodded. According to maps, the destination was only a few miles away. It was almost dark out, but not quite. The sun rested quietly in the sky, hovering just above the skyline ready to disappear. Mat still held your hand in his, gently squeezing every so often as if to reassure you of something but you weren’t quite sure what yet. When you arrived at your destination, there wasn’t another car to be seen. The only sound came from a distance, and then you looked around.

“Where are we?” You asked.

“Crescent Beach. I used to come here a lot when I first came to New York. The city can be overwhelming sometimes, but out here you can actually hear yourself think. The sunset’s here are something to behold, I’ve heard.” He held out his hand for you to take, and led you on to the beach. He had already grabbed two blankets from his trunk. You laughed a little bit, you always kept blankets and towels in the back of your car just in case too.

“It looks like we’re just in time for sunset.” Mat laid down one of the blankets on the sand. You were close enough to the water to be able to smell it, but not close enough that the tide could touch you. He placed the other blanket over the two of you, sitting down beside you after you got comfortable.

“The sky looks beautiful right now. I would have never thought a sunset in Long Island could look like this!” You closed your eyes for a second, taking in the smell of the ocean and the sound of the waves. It was the peace you were looking for during the wedding weekend.

“New York can be beautiful when it wants to be. You just have to know where to look.”

“I like to think that whenever there is a sunset this beautiful, it’s just someone you lost saying hello. Like a little wave from the sky, you know?” You asked him. He nodded, looking out across the horizon. “Tell me about you Mat.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Why did our friends want to set you up with someone?” You were curious.

“I’d been on and off with someone for a long time. It was unhealthy for me, and for anyone to be around me. Let’s just say I wasn’t always the most pleasant person. I want to start a family one day. With as much as players can move around, my home is with a person. Not a place or anything like that, if that makes any sense at all.”

“I was the same way with my dad. We moved around every few years, it felt like I could never really put down roots in one place.”

“What’s your favorite color?” He asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

“What does my favorite color have to do with anything?”

“It says a lot about a person to me.”

“You’re a little strange, has anyone ever told you that?” You both laughed, his was infectious.

“Just answer the question!”

You tell him your favorite color, smiling.

“Don’t you want to know what mine is?” He asked.

“Tell me.”

“It’s blue.”

“Like Islanders blue?”

“Any blue, but right now, blue like the ocean.” The breeze started to blow hard, quickly reminding you that you were in fact in New York, not a beach somewhere tropical. Mat was good at making you feel like you were somewhere else but in a good way.

“Tell me something else about you Mr. Barzal.”

“Is this 20 questions or something?”

“It is now!” You playfully smacked his thigh, you were so close together it wouldn’t take much for you to lean in and kiss him.

“Tes yeux sont les plus beaux que j'ai jamais vus.” You could tell he was speaking French just from the way he changed his accent. Since when could this beautiful man speak french?!

“You can speak french?”

“A hobby of mine, you could say.” From the way the words flowed out of his mouth, you knew it wasn’t just a hobby.

“What did you say?” You turned to look at him, slightly shorter so that you had to look up to look at each other. Everything else seemed to disappear behind him. There could have been roars of people around you, but you wouldn’t have been able to hear them. It was true what they said, when you found the right person it was like everything else melted away.

“I said you have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.” You couldn’t even attempt to hide the blush you could feel forming in your cheeks.

“Is that how you get all the ladies?” You managed to speak finally, after gaining your composure again. But your voice was quiet, like you didn’t want to know the answer.

“Tu es le seul que je veux.” His forehead came to rest against yours. You could feel his hot breath against your face, lighting the nerves in your body on fire.

“Tell me what you said.” You breathed out, trying to catch your breath as if it had been taken from you.

“You are the only one I want.”

“Okay.” You didn’t know why you were saying it. But he seemed to know why, and crashed his lips against yours. His hand came up to cup the back of your head, bringing you as close to him as you could get. The ocean breeze no longer seemed to matter as you began exploring each other’s bodies. He pulls you onto his lap, wrapping the blanket around you in one fluid motion. His lips tasted slightly of whiskey and chocolate, inviting and warm. Warmth blossomed in your chest, like you wanted to be engulfed in each other. You could feel his hands wanting to go under your shirt, and you nodded into the kiss to let him know that it was okay.

You pulled back just for a moment to catch your breath, but not letting your forehead leave his. You were breathing hard against each other as one, in sync already after the slightest touch. His eyes told you everything you needed to know, and you felt safe in his arms. Mat placed his hands on either side of your face, allowing you to feel just how much the moment meant to him. To him, he was holding his world in his hands and now he never wanted to let you go. His next kiss felt like fireworks, and now you knew what it felt like when people said they never wanted something to end. A kiss like the two of your lives depended on it, and you wanted to get lost in him. His kisses were soft at first and increased in intensity every time you drew back for a breath. You wanted more, you wanted all of him.

He breathed your name, realizing that it was in fact now dark outside. The only light came from the street lights in the parking lot and the small flashlight Mat had brought from his car. He brought you in for a hug against him, tucking your head into the nape of his neck. You fit there perfectly, and the smell of his cologne engulfed all of your senses.

“We should probably head back to the hotel.” He whispered, but didn’t make any moves to let go of you.

“Maybe…”

“That doesn’t mean we have to be alone tonight.” He squeezed you, the reassurance washing over you. You nod, and get up off the ground. Mat shakes off the blankets, trying to get rid of as much sand as possible. But you knew that there would be sand all over you for days, in places you never think sand would end up. He got you settled in the car, placing the supplies back where he got them from. Once back in the car, he took your hand once more and you drove quietly back to the hotel.

“Where do we go from here?” You asked.

“I like you.” Another hand squeeze. You didn’t know what to say back to him, too afraid that anything would scare him off just like the other guys you’d dated. “You don’t have to say it back yet, I just didn’t want this night to end without telling you that. When I know I want something, I won’t stop until I can have it. If you’ll let me, that is.”

“What about tonight?” He didn’t answer you, but that was okay. It was unspoken, hanging in the air like a cloud, but you knew you weren’t going to be alone that night. Or the rest of the weekend, if Mat had anything to say about it. Arriving back at the hotel, Mat handed his keys off to the valet and led you inside.

“Is there anything you need to get from your room?” He asked once in the elevator.

“Not that I can think of.”

“Good.” Once the elevator doors opened to his floor, he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder once again. But this time you were more than okay with it. He had to set you down in order to open his room, but picked you up again once you were inside. He laid you down on the freshly laundered bed, throwing your shoes across the room and his along with them. You crawled under the covers together, and all he did was hold you. There were the occasional make out sessions throughout the night, but nothing more. He told you about his childhood and growing up playing hockey, and you told him about the life of being a coach's daughter.

He told you about the way he likes his eggs cooked, his pregame rituals, and all the movies he liked to watch. You talked about anything and everything that came to mind, eventually falling asleep in his arms. When you woke up it didn’t feel strange, it felt like you were supposed to be there. The morning after was always an awkward moment, falling over your words and trying to sneak out without the other person noticing. There was no sneaking out this time, instead you woke up with a kiss from Mat being planted on the top of your head.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He whispered, kissing around your neck and cheeks as much as he could.

“It’s wedding day today.” You smiled, you were excited to get your best friend in the world down the aisle. In helping her find her happiness, you had also managed to find some of yours.

“I’m guessing you have to go soon?” He asked, looking down at you.

“Well I am the maid of honor you know, I think someone will notice if I’m not there.”

“But what if I told you I just wanted to hold you all day instead?” He smirked. The hold that this man already had over you..

“What if I told you, that starting tomorrow you never had to let go of me again?” He sat up quickly and looked down at you.

“You mean it?”

“Well I don’t just spend the night with anyone, Mathew. I think our friends might just be right…” You smiled, he came down to kiss you so fast you didn’t even know what hit you. Was it crazy to rush into something so fast? Maybe. But did it feel right? Absolutely. You’d read all the romance novels of quick relationships, always telling yourself it wasn’t actually like that. Those were just fairy tales you could read about, nothing like that would ever happen in real life.

It took a little more convincing for him to actually let you get out of bed and go to the bridal suite where everyone was getting ready. Of course he had to be with the grooms party, but somehow it never took guys quite as long to get ready.

“Are you sure you have to go right now?” He asked once he pulled away from you. You didn’t want to get out of the nice comfy bed with a pretty man laying in it but duty called.

“Yessss, do you think you’ll be able to survive without me for a few hours?” You started to throw off the covers, but he pulled you back in.

“No, I don’t actually. I might just lay here and cry all day!” You laughed, knowing that both the bride and groom would come for him but let him pretend.

“You’ll be fine, I promise. If you let me go, I’ll let you grab my butt when we dance later.”

“DEAL!” One more quick kiss, and you were finally able to get up. One wave goodbye as you opened the door to leave, and you were off. You had to stop by your own room to get your dress and makeup, and then it was off to the bridal suite. You were surprisingly one of the first ones to arrive, and were able to eat a little bit of breakfast for once. Everyone in the bridal party got to choose their own dress as long as it was within the color palette, and yours was your favorite shade of blue. It fits you in all of the right places, just the way that it should. The bride paid for everyone’s hair to be done, and once everyone was all finished getting ready it was time to take pictures of the bridal party. The photographer seemed to be on her A-game, and for once things were running on time in your life. Anthony already gone to take his place

Finally you got to have a moment just you and your best friend on her big day. The day both of you had talked about since you were kids, the one that you spent planning on pinterest for hours without even a thought of someone in the picture.

“Hannah… you look stunning! I hope today is everything you ever dreamed it would be. I can’t wait to see the look on Anthony’s face when he sees you today. I’ll still beat him up if he ever hurts you though. Are you ready?”

“Have I told you I love you yet today?”

“I love you too girl. Let’s get you married!” Each bridesmaid had their groomsman, and you took your place at the end. Mat walked around the corner and paused when he saw you, stopping him dead in his tracks.

“You like something you see sir?” He offered up his arm for you to take once he made his way to you.

“Tu es le seul que je veux.” He repeated his words from last night, kissing your cheek.

“Me too.” You’d learn how to say it in french, one day at least.

Of course there wasn’t a dry eye in the house after the ceremony. After all of the guests made their way to the reception hall and the rest of the wedding party photos were taken, the evening seemed to go rather smoothly. You may or may not have felt Mat’s hand graze across your butt a few times during pictures, but you kindly reminded him that he wasn’t allowed to feel your butt until you got to dance. He acted like you were torturing him though, depriving him of a dream.

You wanted to get your wedding mingling out of the way first, so that you could enjoy the night with who you wanted. It did not go without notice that Mat’s eyes were following you around the room in a very flirty kind of way. You hadn’t felt like this in a really long time, like you could relax because you were finally comfortable with someone.

“Hey bestie, how is your night going?” Hannah found her way over to you, and more of your friends noticed. You recognized what was happening, they wanted to get all of the dirty details about you and Mat. Of course their plan was successful, but you were also a proud individual. All of them were smiling a little too big at you, asking without actually asking.

“I know what you’re trying to do here!” You accused her.

“Don’t waste time woman, we wanna know! How’s it going with Mat?” Hannah asked.

“I saw you going into his room last night!”

“We know you two snuck off last night, don’t even lie.”

“Where did he take you! Was it romantic?”

“One question at a time!” You were only one person after all, “It’s still very new, we just met this weekend.”

“That smile doesn’t lie sweetie.” You were a bad liar and they knew it.

“Okay fine. Yes we snuck off last night, yes I was in his room but we didn’t do anything but talk and make out, he took me to a beach, and yes it was romantic! Now if you don’t mind, I promised my man a dance and that he could touch my butt. I always keep my promises!”

“YOUR MAN?”

You ran before they could question you further, right towards Mat, who held his arms open for you. Hiding things was never your strong suit, so you two had decided to not even bother.

“They look like you just told them the world is going to end tonight, what happened?” He asked, bringing you into his arms for all the world to see. Clearly he was ready to make everyone aware you were an item, and you weren’t going to object.

“I called you my man, and then immediately walked away.” You smiled up at him.

“Oh you did?”

“Yes sir.”

“I guess that does leave us with the big question.”

“What question?”

“What are we going to do with us? Did this weekend make you want to see me again?” Great opportunities rarely presented themselves at your doorstep. Mat had treated you better in the last 24 hours than a lot of people and you already knew your loved ones approved. It felt right, your gut always had a good feeling about these things. It would always be fun to tell the grandkids you met at a wedding, you’d tell them the part about the bar when they were old enough.

“I said you were my man, did I not?”

“Well you did keep me waiting ma’am, that’s a criminal offense. I’m not sure if I’m your man yet.” He said through a smile.

“Oh is that so?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Nah I’m just fuckin with you, I’ve been dying to kiss you all night.” He brought his hands up to cup either side of your face, and kissed you in a way that shouldn’t be in the middle of your best friends wedding reception.

“You don’t want to touch my butt?” You ask when you finally pull apart.

“Of course I do, but if I touch your butt right now we would be leaving this party within the next few minutes and I believe we both have important things to do.” He whispered in your ear, giving him a look. A look that said I know you want to take my clothes off right now, so I’m going to do my best to tease you. After pulling away, Mat offered you his hand for the dance you had promised.

Standing in the middle of the dance floor with him, while looking at your surroundings and seeing how happy your best friend was, kind of hit you like a sack of bricks. A few years ago if someone had told you this was where your life would end up, you’d have called them crazy. You felt him kiss your forehead as you danced, and you felt yourself melt into him a little. You had no defenses against him, your walls suddenly disappeared when he was near. If he was out of your sight, suddenly the world wasn’t as clear anymore. Maybe summer wasn’t just a time for flings, because this one felt different. Who would have thought just one summer weekend could be so life changing.

........

Half a summer and one year later…

You couldn’t believe you were standing where you were. Summer was starting to become your favorite season. The only thing that brought you back down to earth was the squeeze you felt on your hand from your new husband. The look of reassurance on his face told you all that you needed to know, that he loved you and that you’d be fine. Crowds weren’t always your thing, even if it was your own wedding.

“You ready?”

He knew the timing of your entrance better than anyone, and you could hear Tito start to speak from the other side of the door. The doors opened, blinding you with light. You felt one last squeeze, and then your brain managed to get your feet to start moving again.

“My friends, it is my honor and great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time… MR. AND MRS. MATHEW BARZAL!”

[hcsarchive]

BOXER V

Nct Dream J line + Haechan x f!reader

Warning

Swearing | Violence | guns | oral (m-receiving) | Haechan gets crazier | reader gets thrown a lot | crying | topics of stalking | everything is consensual and fictional | let me know if i missed any!

written August 20th

Past parts

____________________________________________

The drive to the venue was tense, but only for you. Haechan was on his ipad flipping through security system and making phone calls. You try to look outside the window to keep yourself entertained for the car ride but the security guards kept blocking your view from the window thinking you were planning on escaping. "She can look out the window she is going to be monitored more than normal after this anyway" he fixes his tie and sends you a death stare.

You scrunch your face at him in confusion but also in disgust. "Can I at least get water, I'm getting car sick" the other bodyguard sitting next to Haechan was about to hand you one but he waits for his approval. Haechan nods and the man hands it to you.

Around an hour passes and you finally see familiar buildings, it’s your city!! You smile because you have not been outside or in your city in so long. You want to stop at your favorite cafe but there is no way Haechan will stop for you, and you do not know if it’ll cause trouble.

"You want to stop for something" he says

"I do but I don't want to go out like this" you look down at your dress.

"Park at the next light to the right" Haechan bends to the driver's space and opens the glass window divider.

You are left with even more confusion "How do you kno-" you shut up because you already know he has stalked every little detail that is posted about you on the internet. The instagram highlight of your cafe pictures gives it away.

You get out of the car "I'm starting to think you have been planning to kidnap me instead of me serving my punishment for 'breaking in' which is still weird to me" Haechan pins you against the side of the car "Shut your pretty little mouth- why would you say that shit out here. Behave" he takes your hand and walks into your favorite shop.

"y/n" one of your favorite workers screams with excitement "girlie what- where have you been. I missed you" she says.

"Decided to take a break and be out of town for a bit" you smile at her.

"Well you look great and glad you took that break up well. I see you got a new man" she is smiling ear to ear at you, as you are panicking.

"How did you know about that" you tap away on the ordering screen and your hand begins to shake. "Here i'll order for you" Haechan takes over and you bring your attention to the worker.

"Well Sunwoo would only come here with you and he keeps coming here alone moping and talking about you. He also told me you guys broke up which is a bummer" you are left speechless at the girl’s words.

"He still comes here?- I showed him this place" you whisper the last part. Your first date with Sunwoo was here as well.

"Yeah, I have to go make more orders sorry- but it was great seeing you again" she smiles taking all the stickers off of the machine.

"Same here, can you do me a favor and not mention to Sunwoo that I am in town or that I came in here at all" tears start to form.

"Yeah no worries" she hands you your drinks and you realized Haechan ordered your regular exactly how you like it.

You walk out and tell Haechan "Thank you" you dont want to cry, your makeup will get ruined and you are about to enter a car filled with emotionless men.

"Can I get some alone time once we arrive please" you tell Haechan before he opens the door. He was getting jealous of the sound of your ex boyfriend but now that he sees you broken by what the barista said his expression softens.

"yeah, sit next to me. Don't cry baby" he put his hand behind your back and holds your drink when you get in. You grab your drink and Haechan takes the bodyguards seat as he moves to the back.

Your silent sniffles are heard every once in a while "I shouldn't have taken you there. I am sorry" Haechan says. You don't respond to him but you hold his hand. Your drink is in the cupboard, you do not want the taste to bring back the memories.

"He is not allowed inside the building for today anyway" Haechan squeezes your hand. You wish Haechan was like this more often but you know this won't last.

The van comes to a stop and it is the back of the building. Haechan gets off and helps you step down on the gravel road. “Follow closely because you can’t go past these doors without a fingerprint or face” he starts to quicken his pace while also keeping you balanced.

After many doors and security checks you’re in the hallway you were in not too long ago. “Let’s go to my office” you frown at his words.

“Can we go see Jeno and Jaemin train?” he rolls his eyes knowing that is the reason why he brought you. “Go with them, I’ll be in my office” Haechan send you with his body guards and the other two walk with him.

You follow them and you start to hear the music. Jaemin is sitting monitoring Jeno. They’re both drenched in sweat but you still come up and hug Jaemin from the back. “Y/n you made it” Jaemin turns to you and Jeno sits down next to Jaemin.

“How was the car ride, you look teary eyed” Jaemin scans your whole face over and over again. Then your body “he didn’t harm you right?” Jeno joins in very concerned.

“No he was actually sweet this time. It has to do with my past boyfriend” you calmed both down.

“If it makes you feel any better, she’s shooting asteroids and arrows at you because she’s been trying to get with Haechan for years but she can’t even get a hug out of him” Jeno responds.

“Well i am not mad at her. She probably had no idea about me, i am more upset about Sunwoo” you sigh “but today isn’t about me- go practice i want to see you guys” they both get up and start warming up.

Jaemin and Jeno start throwing punches and dodging them like crazy. They are both too good that they can't beat each other. something hits the back of your knees and you turn around to Haechan rolling a chair for you. "Enjoying the view of sweaty men play fighting" he hands you your drink you left behind.

"I sure do, thanks" you spin your chair to face him. "You are popular all the girlies are looking at you" you lightly smack his arm at him as he spins you to face them.

"I don't allow them to even lay a finger on me. You should feel special” He turns you back to him.

"I expected you to sleep with all of them by the way you treat me" you giggle at him.

"No, but Jaemin has" your smile drops at his response.

"Oh" you sip your drink.

"Jeno too- sometimes Mark and Chenle but they have better options since they have more free time and these boyfriends don't leave this building" Haechan turns you back to them.

"I didn't crush your dream did I?" he leans and whispers into your ear.

"I do not want to commit to anyone anymore" you lie- you want to be treasured and loved. Jaemin seemed like the type but you guessed so wrong. Haechan is the one that sticks to one girl and will not give up. At least that is what you assume he is doing with you but he does not treat you as sweet as Jaemin does but I guess because he has his ways and games.

"Shut up" is all you can come up with.

"When you get bored just let the guards know you want to leave. Wear this wristband they will know who you are" he opens the wristband and picks up your hand.

"I'll just go now. I am scared to go back without you" you stand up and smiles at you.

"I'll see you guys later" you scream out and Jaemin has Jeno flat on the ground.

"Bye y/n" Jaemin smiles and Jeno tries his best to wave.

"Be gentle" you tell Jaemin and he takes off his hand off of Jeno's head to throw a thumbs up. You laugh at them "such an annoying laugh" a girls voice was heard passing.

Your cheeks turn red of embarrassment and you stop laughing. Haechan is waiting for you at the door and you catch to him. "What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing" you fake smile because knowing him, he will make a scene. You grab his hand once you step into the hallway. "Are you really scared of these hallways?" he chuckles.

"I am! everything is the same color and there is no decorations plus you never know what will pop up. The lighting also makes it look like a futuristic science lab" you look around. "You should at least add art pieces”

"I can't because if anyone trespasses they will remember which door or hallway they are looking for. The doors have brailled numbers in hidden spots except my office which has multiple levels of security" he explains which you find hot. He is a lot more attractive to you when he does not try to be. You try not to show any emotion on what you are thinking but you start to smile like an idiot.

He opens the door and scans his face and thumb to unlock the elevator. You stand on the opposite side of the elevator and you cannot stop looking at him. Your eyes travel up and down as he loosens his tie while he swipes on his phone.

The elevator stops and opens up. Haechan walks out first and opens another set of doors. You follow him and he suddenly stops and turns to you. You are confused but then he sets his hands on your hips.

"What was so interesting" he gets closer.

The comment he made about Jaemin made you less delusional so doing things with Haechan is even more tempting. "I can show you" you move away from him to the couch. You pat a space on the couch and he sits there. You kick your heels off and hug his waist with your thighs.

"I just like it when you get all serious" you fix his collar and he lays his head back. "and the way you are dressed" your hands runs down his button down and stops at the blazer's button. His tie is loosely on his neck now and you pull it so his face is closer to yours.

"You don't think you’re driving crazy by the way you look in this dress" Haechan finally lays his hands on you and his lips get closer to yours. "I want you to be in a good mood all the time" you pull him closer to you to the point where your chests are squished together.

"Well behave and only pay attention to me- then you’ll have this" you can feel his heartbeat.

"But I don't know which one I like best because this Haechan is taking forever to do something" you pull the back of his hair.

“Guess you found the on switch” Haechan’s voice depends and his lips meet yours. The kiss becomes even more heated and whimpers starts coming out of your mouth when he starts kissing your weak spots.

“Guess this was more important than me fighting. Thought you wanted to come see me” Jaemin startles you when he appears out of no where.

“Jaemin i- i- i did come to see you” heachan doesn’t stop even if you’re attempting to take him away. “I just felt uncomfortable there” your heart hurts seeing him hurt because you can tell all his emotions in those eyes.

“Well you look pretty comfortable now. Guess i’ll get going” he mumbles. You take Haechan off of you and stand up to follow him.

You almost catch up to him until you’re pulled back by your hair. “My pretty princess can’t escape her castle. Leave joker boy to practice” Haechan’s possessiveness begins again.

“Stop” you grab his wrist but he pulls you to the couch. “Was everything you said earlier a lie? just so you can get your panties wet. You’re such a whore you can’t last a whole day without being touched” his other hand grabs a pillow.

“Ride this pillow let’s see if my little bunny can let out all the heat instead of hoping onto all of my friends” he still holds your hair up as you’re positioning yourself. “aren’t you ashamed” Haechan unties the top’s bow of the dress to expose your chest.

“I don’t want to do this right now. Haechan please” your tears begin to stream down your face. Part of you loves his possessiveness and hair pulling but riding a pillow in front of him is so humiliating.

You wipe your tears and thank whoever made your setting spray. Your hips start to move and your eyes don’t leave his but his eyes move up and down.

Trying your best to seem unbothered and make him even more mad. He is enjoying it instead. You get a good angle and begin speed up. Your hand grips the couch and he pulls your hair even more. “You are so pathetic you probably do this when you’re alone” Haechan slaps your bare chest. “Cover yourself I have work to do” he lets go of you and you stop.

and he is back…

You throw the pillow that is soaked by your juices and throw it at him. “You’re lucky i barely got started” you tie the front of your dress and plop yourself on the couch.

Haechan licks the pillow “Doesn’t seem like it” he smirks and walks to his desk. “Whatever” you whisper.

You stare at the security footage hung up above, Haechan turns them off shortly. “You aren’t allowed to see that” you groan.

You stay in that position and groan.

“I’ll take a nap in the couch then. Wake me up in two hours so i can retouch my makeup” you lay down.

“There’s a room over there where you can sleep. Pretty sure no one is in any of them. Just go around the corner and on your left there’s four rooms. Just don’t go on the one with the red door, that one is mine” Haechan is still busy typing and flipping away.

You open the pink door since you like pink! “Oh i’m sorry i was told no one would be here” Jaemin was sitting on the couch eating.

“It’s fine you. Did Haechan abandoned you so quick” Jaemin scoffed not even turning to you.

“I’ll try another room” you try to step back to the door way but he walks towards you.

“I can’t stay mad at you, please stay. Jisung is probably in the next one- so lay here with me” Jaemin opens up his pleading sparkly eyes.

“You’re the one that’s supposed to be relaxing, i’ll lay in couch in the office” you tell him.

“No we’ll both take a nap” he is already showered and changed for his match.

“Fine” you lay down but face away from him. You feel more safe taking a nap in his presence than Haechan’s but you’re now filled with energy.

Jaemin gets closer to you and hugs you from the back, the match doesn’t start til 3am.

“Why did you leave? I thought you came here for me” he snuggles his face into your shoulder. “Do you even like it when he touches you?” he sets a kiss on your collarbone and stays in the position. You feel Jaemin’s breath against your neck.

“I did and it’s complicated. Plus I don’t feel too special supporting since you have your personal cheerleaders ready for you whenever you want” you try to get the truth out of Jaemin but who knows how many lies come out of Haechan’s mouth.

“Haechan keeps gaslighting you. I’ve only been with three why are you jealous?” Jaemin takes one hand off of you and sits up.

“Well it’s not normal for a guy to treat me this way. I also don’t get why i’m being used as a doll to a rich gang leader but somehow you confuse me the most. You don’t have to be like this if you want something out of it just tell me so i can stop jumping into conclusions” you’re almost into tears looking up at Jaemin.

“I want you-“ Jaemin gets cut off by Haechan opening the door.

Now you don’t know if he didn’t finish his sentence or he actually meant what he said.

“y/n out” Haechan says and you listen. He doesn’t follow you out, he closes the door angry.

Yelling starts to rise and you run out to get one of the boys. The elevator opens and you ask a security guard for the training room.

Jeno is resting against the rink talking to the girls. “Jeno it’s Jaemin and Haechan hurry” he knew exactly what you meant.

You take off your heels and run with him. You get on the elevator heavily breathing while Jeno is perfectly fine. “They are just yelling I am just scared things will get worse” you follow him to the room.

Jaemin and Haechan still yelling but both look untouched. “What you went to get another” Haechan stops and turns to you “Don’t forget the rest” your jaw opens.

“I don’t get you- first you’re all nice and then possessive. now you’re shaming me?” you take a deep breath. “We haven’t done anything” you yell

“Jaemin fucked the same girl your boyfriend did. guess they both have similar taste in women. You really need to a reality check, you’re only here because you opened a stupid door and i haven’t fucked anyone in a while. I’ve also found the best target which was you” Haechan pointed at you.

“I knew the little show girl was fucking Jaemin and your boyfriend. She would talk about him and bring him around and i would just overhear…Jeno only knew about you because he has been stalking your socials. The only thing I did was just connect the dots. I wanted to experiment with you and help my poor thing. I knew someone like you would fall for something this stupid” Haechan walks around the room while your watery eyes follow him.

“wha- wha- what” you try not to break into tears.

“Can’t believe none of you caught on? or even take advantage of this opportunity. Since when have I done this stupid security watch, i just kill them” Haechan laughs evilly.

You breakdown crying. This has to be some sick joke, your own life was paused over some experiment. You’re becoming even more angry “Than fucking kill me” you hit his chest “you made me stop studying, working, and leave my friends at an emotional time just to use me as a joke” every word you would say, tears will come out.

“I am not the best person in the fucking planet but I do not deserve to be some paper doll a rich pathetic loser throws around whenever he pleases that hasn’t been fucked in years who decides to kidnap someone who have they’ve been stalking. You’re trying to put Jeno under the bus for being a stalker but you are the actual lunatic” you’re turning hot and losing air.

“y/n it’s ok, let’s get some air” Jaemin tried to go towards you but you step away.

You’re now sobbing completely “I have an offer because this isn’t over” Haechan sits down and taps the table like he is casually waiting for his wine to be poured.

“I cant do this right now” You’re rubbing your face not caring how your makeup looks. You walked out but the doors to leave his office were locked.

Jeno and Jaemin are left in shock while you’re still crying trying to leave but Haechan locked it. You try to sob softly while kneeling hunched on the cold floor.

"Stand up" Haechan raises his voice.

"Haechan" Jeno and Jaemin say at the same time.

Haechan grabs you by the back of your dress and pulls you to the carpet. The marble floors are so clean that your lotioned knees just slide to where he is pulling you. He pulled you so hard that the front of the dress ripped open. You try your best to cover up while also trying not to cry even more.

They have seen you cry so much to the point where it is so embarrassing how weak and sensitive you are. Jaemin gives you a pillow to cover yourself and picks you up to set you down on the couch. Haechan walks back and forth in front of you.

“You were not careful with reading the contract sweetheart” Haechan hovers over you and reads the contract “…once you have passed the first phase. you will have to complete three years of service to my corporation as I please” more tears roll down.

Haechan has planned this after years of being used by his ex girlfriend. He doesn’t care about you or your future at least not right now. All he cares about is you obeying him.

“I have a life Haechan. Outside of this is my whole life- I put it all on hold for this stupid game you’re playing and now you want me for three years” you start hitting his chest with your palms.

“I got cheated on, failed my classes for missing, lost my scholarship, my job, probably my friends, and all that just so you can get dick pumped? You’re pathetic and why me” you punch him one more time before sobbing into his chest “why, why, why- i will never forgive you for this. I want to go home”

Haechan holds you for a while but he then grabs you by the neck. “You’re such a smart and pretty girl. I’ve been watching you since I saw you at the pink matter festival that Jeno insisted to go to because of you” you try to get out of his grip but he knees your cunt.

“You were next door to my suite, filming your little videos in the hot tub thinking no one was there. I followed you into the festival and after that i’ve been observing closely. Closer than Jeno has because he was a floor bellow us” Haechan let’s go of your throat and you gasp for air.

You accepted defeat you can’t deny being stalked by someone like him is not scaring you but making you heat up. His knee sinks deeper into your core and scrunches your dress up. “How closely” you try to ignore what he is doing.

“I know your schedule, what you get at gas stations on a random night, i’ve been looking through the crowd in bars you visit every thursday night on your only half day off. I have more power than you think so you can’t hide from me” Haechan straightens up.

“Jeno you want to taste her as a pre match gift” Jaemin scoffs at Haechan’s offer. “I know you’ve been drooling over her for so long and jerking off to her sweet screams through the walls” Jeno doesn’t move or say anything at Haechan.

Jaemin is fuming because he can’t get even a inch close to you in front Haechan. Jeno looks at Jaemin and then at Haechan. “I don’t know if this is a trick or not” Jeno says mumbling.

“I’m not doing anything” you cry even more.

“Get the fuck up and go” Haechan grabs your hair and throw you at Jeno.

Your limp body is held up by Jeno who’s really scared and confused. “She doesn’t want to so J don’t want to either” Jeno says.

“If you don’t take her in that room. I’m fucking her in front of you with your hands tied” Haechan crosses his hands.

Jeno takes you into his waiting room.

“You don’t have to do this because Haechan told you to”

“Don’t take things personal but I don’t. At least not right now. I umm will make it for you later” you hug him.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt. I may be stronger but he has more power verbally” Jeno says rubbing your back.

The door suddenly opens and they both come in.

“What a fucking coward he hasn’t even undressed her. I would’ve had you propped against the bed frame” Haechan scoffs.

“He was being respectful” you put a hand on Jeno’s chest. “She doesn’t like it like that” Haechan yanks you off of Jeno and takes off your dress.

“Not here Haechan please. I’ll do what you want but not in front of them” you are trying to get out of his grip but he is pushing you back into his chest.

You try to take his hands off of you but Haechan’s grip is stronger than yours. He is pinning your arms back “don’t make me recreate what i did to you the first day you were in here” Haechan whispers into your ear.

“Let go” Jeno says

“Just leave her before you’re thrown in the middle of the rink and it’ll become a 2v1 match” Jeno spits on Haechan’s shoes.

“Take her to the VIP box. I better see her up there” Jaemin pushes Haechan’s head back harshly and they both leave.

Watching Haechan become powerless when Jeno and Jaemin team up against him makes both of them so hot but also seeing how pathetic Haechan looks.

“Get up” you get up and Haechan shoves his faces into yours “You better not cry like that again or i’ll give you something to cry about” he pulls you by the arm through the hall way. You’re stumbling trying to keep up still barefoot.

“Can we slow down please” you try to stand your ground but his grip of you just yanks you into two feet in the air.

“Shut the fuck up” he stops to grab you by the waist and throws you against his shoulder. He smacks your ass, leaving a stinging feeling.

He opens the door with his thumb and face as usual. Then the security guards come from the door next to the VIP room and stand in front of it.

Jisung comes out shortly and enters. “You makes things so complicated. You’re lucky he’s here” Haechan whispers into your ear as he sets you down on the couch.

“Hi Jisung” you smile at him.

“Hey” he says not looking away from his laptop screen.

“The match is about to start, go sit in the balcony so Jaemin can see you” you don’t take his anger much into thought because you are out of energy.

The balcony has thick glass which you’re assuming is bullet proof glass. You can see the rink perfectly and the audience is about as full as last time you were in the crowd.

You sit in the couch but you start to become sleepy. Your eyelids are fighting with you but you try your best to keep them open for Jeno and Jaemin’s match.

AFTER THE MATCH

Haechan woke you up before Jeno and Jaemin went up. It was too painful to watch but you are on the edge of your seat hoping for them to not get hurt.

One bloody nose, another with a busted cheek and two slowen lips later. Jaemin wins just by getting the last punch in.

Being the bestfriends that they’re, Jaemin helps Jeno up and wipes the blood off of his nose with his towel. They both hold the trophy and the crowd goes wild. You cheer from the distance and jump in victory even though you would’ve been happy with either one winning.

“Ok fun is over, get in the car with Jisung to go home. We have work to do” Haechan pushes you back into the room and Jisung is at the door already holding it open for you.

“Yeah right. Whatever it’s not like we are dating” you scoff at him but Haechan’s cocky expression slowly drops down to very very hurt one.

You realize what you said hurt him but it only set another boundary down. You get out of the room and Jisung runs after you.

“Y/N why would you say that to him” Jisung looks all stressed trying to catch up to your speed walk.

“Well it’s true isn’t it?” you follow the security guards and Jisung.

Once you guys get to the house, jisung unlocks the door and lets you in. “Don’t try to leave the house, I’m going out” Jisung closes the door before you even get to process what he said.

You walk in and just go to your room. You’re undressing yourself and decide to take a morning a shower instead so you change into a tank top and fresh underwear.

Your sleepiness goes away as soon as you lay down on your bed. Haechan basically grounded you by taking your phone and electronic so you lay humming a random song.

Your thoughts wander away from the song and to the feeling of Haechan’s hands feeling all around you. His sweet but demanding voice driving you crazy every time he gets possessive. You should be mad at him but accepting defeat over some dumb contract.

Jeno’s puppy dog eyes basically crying over your presence…and Jaemin

His lips

deep voice

how sweet and protective he is

imagining him telling you sweet things as he filling you up so good- your hand moves past your waist band finding the sweet spot.

You still have his scent in your nose, the way he looked at you today has you thrusting into your own fingers as you’re having flashbacks to the grunts and panting Jaemin was doing while boxing.

Reaching over for your toys he specifically brought for you. You imagine the pink silicone toy is his tongue. His soft black hair tickling your thighs.

“Y/N i’m back i brought-“ Jisung’s eyes fall in between your your legs “us food” you throw what you have in your hand and cover yourself.

“I thought you were going out” you yell.

“I umm was, I didn’t say all night” Jisung avoids eye contact. “I’ll actually leave your portion in the kitchen. I’ll be in my room” Jisung was trying to be nice and get out of his shell to become your friend. He knew he was going to be in charge of you tonight so he got food for the two of you.

Jisung leaves and you leap for the tiny robot moving around the carpet. You wash your hands and put pants on. You thought he would be gone but he’s still getting his plate.

“Im sorry, I didn’t mean to make that whole thing happen and I umm don’t have a lock. I was too stuck in my thoughts think I would be alert but you took like what 15 minutes which is stupid because we could’ve gone to pick it up before we got home-“ Jisung cuts off your rambling

“I wanted to surprise you with your favorite take out” Jisung pushes the bag towards you.

“Omg you didn’t have to! wait how do you know” you let go of the bag.

“Haechan” Jisung says.

“Oh” you say.

“I am going to my room” Jisung speed walks to his room with his food. Slamming the door and getting upset that his plan failed.

He finishes his food and brings the plate back to the kitchen. You see him sit next to you the bar stools.

“What were you thinking of earlier” Jisung’s question catches you off guard.

“Nothing” you stab your broccoli in circles.

“Would you ever think of me that way” his dark eyes are so innocent but so dangerous looking.

You don’t say anything but look at him. “I knew it” Jisung sighs.

“I didn’t answer yet” you say holding his hand. “I have” you regret saying it but he has been more intriguing than everyone else beside Jaemin and Haechan.

You don’t regret saying it because he’ll expect you to do something, you’re scared because you have to worry about another person catching you. “Can it be our little secret” you hold his other hand and you can feel Jisung’s hand shake underneath. He hasn’t done anything to you- Haechan, Jeno, and Jaemin have

“yee-ss it umm…can be” Jisung didn’t think he’ll get this far due to his friends getting more attention while he stands in the back trying not to take up too much space.

“How big is this secret” your hand goes down to his thigh and inching closer to his imprint. “y/n” Jisung says looking down to your hand, his hair is covering his facial expressions.

“hmm” you run your thumb on top of it. “I’m scared” he grabs your arm.

“Scared of me?” you start to feel guilty.

“No-“ he gets up from his chair “Haechan, Jeno, Jaemin, and what would the rest think of me. Or they might think you’re for everyone. I can’t-“ you corner Jisung against the wall.

“Jisung they aren’t here right now and you know there’s no cameras here since you’re always in that security room. Like I said it can be our little secret” you are on your tippy toes keeping his wrist against the wall.

Your grip release his wrist and you lift up his shirt. His nipples are at your eye level. Your lips hover around his left bud and you suck on it as you’re flicking the right one with your fingers.

Jisung let’s out a moan and his deep voice sends goosebumps all around your skin. You pull him to the couch to sit on his lap.

He takes off his shirt completely, he leans back onto the couch. “Can I kiss you” Jisung asks.

“Not on the lips” you start kissing his neck and down his torso. You get off of him and kneel on the floor, between his legs.

He’s already hard “Can I” your fingers already touching his waistband.

“I’ve never done anything” Jisung whispers.

“I’ll go slow, if anything just yell stop” you pull them down slowly releasing his very long hard veiny cock. Your mouth waters because you’ve never seen it this big, I guess height has to do with it.

Jisung covers his face but you take his arm off “I want to see you” his cheeks turn pink then red as you lick from the base to his tip. Your tongue swirls around tasting the pre cum coming out, the more you hover your mouth- the more he whimpers.

His soft whimpers makes you want to tease him more but seeing how desperate and hard he is- you just don’t have the heart to do it. You begin to pump with your hands and suck on his tip.

Jisung moans out your name in a whisper. “Haechan is going to kill me” he begins to tug on his hair but you take him all in, making him forget about what will happen if we get caught “but it feels so good” his head is tilt back on the couch.

You bob your head faster, making you drool all over. It doesn’t take too long for him to reach his high. Jisung’s large hands find their way to your hair and you get a pulling sensation causing you to moan on his cock.

“y/n” he whimpers “i’m about to” he pulls your hair to get you off of his dick but you grab it and stick out your tongue to swallow the thick warm liquid.

“That was” Jisung tries not to grin ear to ear.

“You’re the biggest one i’ve seen” you wipe your chin and look up at him as he dresses himself again.

“Oh” Jisung is in shock not knowing what to say. You sit next to him and your eyes are focused on his face “You’re so pretty” his apple shaped lips curl up to a smile.

“You don’t have to say that” Jisung tries to contain his happiness over that compliment. He normally isn’t receiving compliments.

“It’s true though” you lay down on the couch and his face shows up hovering over you.

“You’re more” he smiles at you. Now the both of you are giggling at eachother.

Jisung’s phone rings and his smile drops “It’s Haechan. y/n i think he knows” he panics.

“Jisung just answer we are both dressed and in the living room. It’s fine” you answer the facetime call from the phone you snatched from him.

“What do you want” you answer still mad at him.

“Just checking how things are and make sure you aren’t acting up” Haechan says from what it seems to be his office.

“Anything else” you answer back in a monotone voice.

“Why didn’t Jisung answer the phone” Haechan knitts his eyebrows together.

“Don’t you want to see me” you tilt the camera towards your body and he smirks at your comment but then turns serious.

“Don’t be doing that. Hand the phone to him- NOW” you can sense the anger through the phone.

“Jisung we are moving houses. Secret services have been observing our current one. Just pack two suitcases each and the rest the guards will bring with them once they’re done packing for us. Jaemin is on his way back without security so just stay alert on the way to our new location” Haechan does not sound like he is playing.

“Can I wait til Renjun comes back. I am too scared to go without him if there isn’t any guards” Jisung says.

“Motherfucker you can’t be serious dude. What is Renjun going to do” Haechan says.

“I am and he has the most weapons. Plus I can’t do much to help Jaemin. He’s better off taking care of y/n without me. Plus I want to pack my own stuff” Jisung sounds very concerned.

“Fine but renjun will probably be the last person back since he is packing all of the files and taking them with so start packing” Haechan sighs “Pass the phone back to y/n”

“You heard everything i’m assuming?” you nod yes at the phone “Behave, Jaemin is the most trained and alert out of all of them so you’ll be fine. Do not distract him- I know how you can get. Start packing you don’t have much so you’ll be able to fit everything. Tell Jisung to give you some suitcases”

“I will” you’re now worried than you were before.

Jisung gets out all the suitcases from the attic and you manage to fit everything into two suitcases and a duffel bag.

“We won’t go far from here will we?” you still have hope for seeing your best friend Chanhee again.

“No we still have to be close to headquarters” Jisung says.

The door open and Jaemin is back. “Hi baby” Jaemin kisses your forehead “how are you feeling” and then goes to Jisung and does the same.

“Eww” Jisung says and wipes his forehead and you laugh.

“We’ll talk later, I’ll be back with my stuff” Jaemin takes the suitcases in the middle of the living room.

You and Jisung sit down on the couch “I am sorry I didn’t return favor” Jisung says talking about earlier.

“Don’t worry, but if you want to- the offer is there” you smile at him.

“Noted” he laughs awkwardly. “I’m going to go pack if that’s ok?”

“Yeah go ahead” and Jisung leaves.

Jaemin comes out shortly after. “Ready” he extends his arm for you to grab and stand up.

“I guess so” you say.

“Before Haechan gets here” he rolls his eyes. You giggle at his expression.

“He’s not that bad” you follow Jaemin out.

“Did you forget about earlier” Jaemin shuts the door behind him “Get in the car quick, i’ll put the luggage in the trunk” he says opening your door and taking your suitcases.

“You sure? i don’t mind helping” you say.

“I want to plus we don’t have any guards right now since we are on the down low so get in” He whispers to you, and you get in the car.

Once he was done he gets into the driver seat and locks the door. “Don’t be scared but im loading my guns, lift up your blanket and put it over the glove compartment so no one can see” Jaemin takes out a gun from his waist band and one from his leg.

You lift up your pink fluffy blanket up like Jaemin said, as he is loading the guns over your lap. “I’m sorry sweetheart, I should’ve done this before you came in” he rubs your bare thigh.

“It’s ok” you say shifting in your seat after his sudden touch.

His head pops out of your blanket, “they probably think we are doing something else which is perfect” he goes back down and shuffles things around.

“mhmh” is what you managed to get out. The thought of Jaemin doing what he implied and half of his body basically over your lap makes your mind go through millions of thoughts.

Maybe wearing a skirt wasn’t the best option but it is the most casual outfit you have since haechan bought all your clothes which explains why it’s all skirts and dresses.

“I have a small pink gun in here for you, hide it under your skirt” Jaemin sets the cold heavy metal object on you and you slide it under your skirt.

“You match your panties with your outfit. How precious” your eyes pop out after realizing what you did- he saw your laced blue panties that matches your blue skirt.

“I should’ve waited im sorry” you flatten your skirt down.

“Don’t worry darling” Jaemin pops out of the blanket with messy hair onto his face. While he is putting his guns back, you move his hair out of his face.

He grabs your hand and kisses it “Let’s hit the road” then intertwines his hand with yours. “You’ll be ok with me, I promise” his expression is so sincere and caring.

He uses his other hand to back out of the parking lot while his other hand is still holding yours. The butterflies in your stomach are flying around graciously.

a/n

ahhhh i know it’s been so long i’m so sorry! i am still a bit scared releasing this but hopefully you guys enjoy this.

i’ve just been reading like crazy trying to see if it’ll improve my writing. Thank you everyone for being patient with me <3 I finally included the J line in this which was my goal from the start :)

Next part might be the last of this series!!

taglist

@t3kandson @kazscara @enaile23 @danwix

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

*jingles keys infront of your face*

Hi guys

Having a strange night again but I suddenly remembered Frank Sinatra exists and my brain went nuts for a second and I remembered one very specific song that reminds me of Angel Dust and also this brings me to my topic of how to write what Episode 4 was trying to do without being shit.

Song for your listening pleasure~

Alright *cracks knuckles* let me tell you how my brain is working.

Poison is meant to sound like a generic romance pop song about a bad relationship on the surface but the audience is supposed to know it’s about something much worse. Now lets flip that around real quick.

“My Way Of Life” is a romance song.

At least I think it is? I’m under the aromantic umbrella and I don’t pick up on this stuff good.

BUT try listening to the song while imagining the wording to be more hostile and literal.

A few standout ones are these in my opinion

—————

Gotta have you near all the time, with your dreams wrapped up in mine.

Gotta be a part of your soul and your heart all the time.

You are my way of life.

The only way I know.

I’ll never let you go.

Because “I love you so.”

You are my way of life.

The only way I know.

Make me your way of life.

Don’t ever go.

Nothing in the world that I do means a thing without you.

Im just half alive, in my struggle to survive without you.

Never let you out of my sight.

Be it day.

Be it night.

You belong to me.

That’s the way it has to be; wrong or right.

—————

Colour coding this by which characters I feel represents these best by the way. Angel-ish ones are pink and Valentino ones are red.

When you look at them in a tone like that with certain lines being possessive, and fake (ie. “I love you so”) and the others being despairing, self-loathing, you can hopefully see how I mistook this for a much more unhappy song when I first heard it.

If you look at a song like this thats so dramatic and intense and full of emotion, it’s going to be better than some generic pop song like 99% of the time. The music also make sense for the time period Angel died since Sinatra was popular in the 1940-1950’s which I personally think adds more.

How I imagine some kind of music video for this would play out, I’ll probably end up storyboarding it sometime, but bear with me till I do. would be a lot of Angel doing day to day things and tapping more into what ADDICT did with flashbacks and hallucinations and so on without shoving rape in our faces. I touched on this in my original Episode 4 rant so I’m going to vaguely recap on that. There are times where very simple things can trigger unpleasant memories, I think everyone knows that. But for some reason, Vivzie seems to think the only way to show SA actually happened is to deliberately show us since every other character thats been sexually assaulted or sexually abused has it played off as a joke. Yes I am fucking talking about Sir Pentious.

Angel having a flashback or hallucination doesn’t have to be of it happening. It can be something as simple as sitting next to Valentino. Someone pronouncing something the same way Valentino would. A specific piece of trash on the floor like a cup showing up somewhere else. Reminders can be tiny have a massive impact. Sometimes reminders for shit I’ve experienced is something as small as a hat, water, or a nickname. Even a day of the month can be nerve wracking.

Im about to start listing a bunch of ideas and stuff so this may end up being the entire song, brace yourself for reading all this.

0:00-0:32

I feel like this would start with Angel in his room staring at a wall, probably drinking after work.

“Gotta have you near all the time with your dreams wrapped in mine.”

Is less of a willing “gotta” and more of a “I can’t do anything else.” with the talk of dreams alluding more to the fact that Angel’s original wants from the contract are long gone and noting that Valentino is controlling his career, future, needs, wants, “privileges”.

“Gotta be a part of your soul and of your heart all the time.”

Is once again about the contract of Angel’s soul.

0:33-0:51

“Nothing in the world that I do means a thing without you.”

In the original song I assume this is meant to be like “Life is so dull without you” but for the way I hear this song, it sounds a lot more like “Nothing that I do holds any meaning without your name attached to it.” in a kind of corporate way. I imagine this part with Angel walking down the street and seeing posters of himself but all of them have credits to Valentino somewhere on them. Angel likes his job but obviously the job that he previously enjoyed has turned into a dangerous and traumatic one. Posters like this can both be seen as a reminder that Angel is no longer in control of his own life and as some kind of intrusive thought like “I’m only famous because of you. I gave up everything for this.” AKA Valentino manipulating his way of thinking about his situation.

“I’m just half alive in my struggle to survive without you.”

Once again calling back to Angel’s contract. This part to me is more of what I stated in another rant I did a while ago. Honestly if I ever did this it’d likely take place after or during season 2 under the assumption Valentino dies. This is more of what I said in the linked post, but it’s a lot of Angel processing everything that’s happened to him. Everything suddenly hitting him all at once. “Struggle to survive without you” doesn’t mean that Angel is struggling because Valentino is gone, health struggling because he was there in the first place. Angel is dealing with and processing severe trauma and judging by ADDICT, dealing with vivid flashbacks and hallucinations as well.

0:52-1:15

A lot of this section reminds me of how I processed my emotions when I first realised that I had control over my own life again and I feel like Angel would feel very similarly to how I did.

“You are my way of life. The only way I know.”

After so many years of sticking to this strict regime, enduring so much pain and stress, it’s so hard to just suddenly snap out of it. That was your reality for years and it’s over, but everything that happened is still clinging to you so harshly it feels like its still happening, but when you prepare for a previous habit you picked up from that time and it doesn’t happen it can be so jarring it’s terrifying that you’re still so used to it. My best example in this setting is going to hang up a call and saying “Hey I have to go do something” and you expect to have to lie about why you’re leaving or prepare for the other person to get mad and then they just. Don’t. And you can hang up normally. I know some people wont get this but that kinda stuff is such a specific feeling of realisation.

“You are my way of life. I’ll never let you go.”

Can be taken as either Angel talking to himself; saying he’ll never let the memories and trauma from Valentino go because it’s so engrained into his mind, or, as Angel remembering Valentino explicitly stating he will never let him go. Even if Valentino is dead by this time, it could still be done with a flashback or auditory hallucination like Angel had in Episode 2.

I don’t think I’ll be diving into this entire song, but it really hit something in my brain. I had to quickly sketch a possible frame for a video if I did ever make one:

It’s a bit basic, but hopefully you see what I’m going for. This was for the 0:52-1:15 section mostly, but I can see it being used in various other places.

I hope this was at least a little bit interesting for you all and if not at least maybe I could introduce you to a really good Frank Sinatra song! Usually my really long posts like this don’t get much traction, but I hope this one at least sees a glimpse of daylight because it really is an interesting idea to me. If you have any thoughts, questions, or ideas for this please tell me I love when you guys ask me stuff. I am hopefully going to knock out now because it’s 2:44 AM at the time of writing this, so whenever I post this, please enjoy.

[alaskan-wallflower]

hi hello i am a server at a restaurant by day and a kyle fan by night so i am more than happy to supply you with some waiter!kyle headcanons! warning: very VERY long and this isn’t even all of them

he would be one of the strongest servers in the restaurant. i can see him being really organized and having a system for everything. he’d be good with the hospitality part, dude never forgets to bring your side of ranch and water glasses never go empty. it takes a lot to overwhelm him.

however…on the rare occasions he is in the weeds…he’d sass the other staff and grumble under his breath. i don’t see his tables suffering because of this, he screams in the walk in before interacting with them. if he’s got a real bitchass customer, the sass comes out again. and then he screams in the walk in and complains to all his friends about it for the next week. that being said. he has had to be held back from confronting a guest by his coworkers once or twice after being stiffed.

i was a hostess for years so many thoughts here. if he gets triple sat or triple skipped he would be so nice and forgiving to the hostesses to their FACES, but be thinking in his head “how are you this fucking dumb”. if it keeps happening though he will say something, he wouldn’t yell and be a total dick about it but he would be a little condescending. for really good hosts and bussers he likes though, he tips them out extra because he’s just that generous. he would watch out for the young hostesses and make sure the creepy old men don’t bother them. he’d see that shit and immediately direct the old fart away from the underaged girl. and we love him for that.

never lets anyone borrow his fancy pilot g2 pens (same)

always looking dapper! he gels his hair for work cus it needs to be out of the way. and that apron has been washed, steamed, and pressed by mama broflovski herself baby

has beef with the bartender because one very busy saturday night he super sassed them for taking too long to make a drink only to realize he never actually rang it in…oops. bartender never forgave that one

took forever to learn how to pull a beer from the tap and honestly is still not very good at it (me)

refuses to clean any bodily fluids in any part of the restaurant, he’d quit his job first. don’t get paid enough for that (also me and you’d be surprised how often this is a problem)

master silverwear roller like he flys through that shit. mf always leaves exactly when he’s cut bc all his sidework is done already

if the line cooks give him shit he speaks to them in jersey and they’re like oh we didn’t know you were chill like that nvm

he’d have regulars that he just loves and adores and some regulars that he hates so much that he has forbade the hosts from ever putting them in his section

oh he’s a weekend shift hog, he thinks he deserves the busy shifts because he’s simply just a better server than the others so logically why wouldn’t he? smh

he usually likes it when the guys come to eat while he’s working and they goof off a little, but if those mfs show up on a busy weekend he’s like no god please no because they are like the biggest distractions ever. i would go on about how stan, kenny, and cartman would act while kyle’s working but i fear i’ve made this ask long enough as is

the dumbass smile in my face as i saw this in my inbox, i was SO looking forward to answering this one

i fucking love these ohmygosh-he’s such a bitch but in the best ways?? like he genuinely gets me sometimes-

he gets so damn sassy when things don’t go the way he intended-he’s never really snapped at people, he just makes small bites to the neck like ‘oh i didn’t realize that you were doing my job now for me’ and he would let out the most sarcastic ass laugh istg-i feel like he would be the kind of ‘busy bee’ worker where he absolutely loses track of time and is like ‘oh my break was a half hour ago fuck’

he probably tries to take all the night shifts because that’s just how he is. he’s a night owl and likes sleeping in ‘til noon.

but YES PLEASE-I would LOVE to read more of your headcanons like this!! i really don’t mind how long it gets-the more the better imo! i love reading stuff like this!! don’t feel nervous, i would LOVE to read some more!!

(he also sneaks leftovers out for kenny. i like to think those two get closer in their teens because kyle realizes how much kenny means to them all)

one i personally have is that cartman knows kyle’s schedule like the back of his hand and follows a routine in which he knows when all kyle’s breaks are. cartman will subtly fuck with kyle and make him miss all his breaks, usually including his lunch break. (if he’s working the morning, which he usually ends up doing, unlucky) he comes back later to laugh in kyle’s face because poor boy’s hungry and tired. makes some snide ass comment about how ‘oH kYlE tHaTs So ImProFeSsIoNaL oF yOu To YaWn MiDsEnTeNcE’ or he laughs because ‘aren’t you a waiter? your job is to bring out the food, not to want it, kahl’ dunno how the rest would play out. that’s just one i have-if you wanna add on tho i’d love to hear it!! :)

anyway. i’d love to hear any other headcanons you (or anyone else for that matter) may have! ^^

[50calmadeuce]

Ch. 2: The Hard Deck

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Top Gun: Maverick world, trademarked by Paramount Pictures Corporation. I do not claim ownership of the characters and the world that I am borrowing.

The story and situation I am creating are a work of my imagination and I do not ascribe them to official story canon. This work is for entertainment only and is not a part of the storyline.

I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story, but I do hope it gives you happy thoughts.

These stories are my own, so please do not take them and use them for yourself without my permission. If you see them somewhere else, please let me know. :)

"A pilot, huh?" Your roommate Finley asks as she leans against your bedroom door and watches you put on your Asics tennis shoes.

"That's what he said," you reply as you tie the second shoe and stand up.

You had decided on a pair of faded denim capris and a ribbed white tank top that not only showed off your bronzing skin, but also your fit swimmer's body.

"You always get lucky."

You look at her. Finley stood about five foot seven inches and had dark brown hair with honey-colored eyes and soft freckles on her round face. She was wearing stone-washed jeans and an olive colored shirt.

"Right. Cuz me dating life is stellar."

"If you didn't work so much, it could be."

You shake your head. "You convinced me to do this, didn't you?"

"You need a break, Y/N."

You sigh. "Are you ready?"

"Yup. Let's go check out this so called pilot."

You grab your lightweight jacket and follow Finley out the door.

You and Finley sit and watch all the uniforms go in and out of the door to the entrance of The Hard Deck after you parked your Ford Maverick in the parking lot.

"Well, he really is a pilot," Finley states as you watch all the activity.

"Yup," you agree as the two of you get out of your truck and slowly start to walk toward the door.

A man in a Navy khaki uniform holds the door open for you as he walks out with a girl.

"Thank you," you say as you and Finley walk in.

The bar is filled with lots of people. Some in Navy khaki uniforms, some in green flight suits and others in regular clothes.

"This guy must really interest you. This is definitely not your type of atmosphere," Finley says to you loudly over the music and voices.

She was right. This wasn't your type of atmosphere. You enjoyed the risk of rescuing and saving others in the waters and the challenge of helping marine life, but this was not you.

"You're right. Maybe we should go." You start to tug on Finley's arm.

"This may not be your type of atmosphere, but it's definitely mine. And let's see if we can find this 'Hangman' who got your attention. Come on." She pulls you toward the bar.

Javy 'Coyote' Machado taps Hangman's shoulder before he makes his next shot at the pool table.

"Hey. Isn't that the girl from the beach?" Coyote asks and points with his beer.

Jake looks up. "Yeah. I didn't think she'd really show."

"Shit," Rooster says from the other end of the pool table.

"You better go get her. She looks like she's getting ready to bail," Coyote says matter-of-factly.

Jake puts the cue stick on the table and heads over to the girl he met on the beach.

"Hey!" a guy with dirty-blond hair and green eyes wearing the Navy khaki uniform says to you just before you reach the bar with Finley.

"Hi?" You look at him questioningly.

"It's me, Hangman."

You relax a bit. "Oh! Hi! I didn't recognize you in your uniform." You also didn't catch the southern accent before either.

"I'm glad you made it."

"Me too." You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.

"Would you two like a drink?"

"Sure." You realize he's still staring at you.

"You don't go out much, do you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"I'm Finley and this is Y/N. Nice to meet you," Finley says. "And you're right. She doesn't do this much. I'll take a beer. She'll have water."

"Water?" Jake questions.

"I'm kind of on call."

Jake shrugs. "Okay." He goes up to the bar. "Penny, my dear. A beer and a water," he says to the brunette behind the bar.

"Coming right up!"

You start to look around and notice a group of men and women in Navy khaki uniforms looking at you from the pool table.

"Here you go." Jake says breaking your observation and handing you a bottle of water.

"Thank you."

"Come on. I'll introduce you to my squad. This way."

You and Finley follow him to the pool table where the individuals you were just looking at stood.

"Y/N and Finley, this is my squad. This is Bradly 'Rooster' Bradshaw, Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace, Robert 'Bob' Floyd, Reuben 'Payback' Fitch, Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia, and my best friend Javy 'Coyote' Machado."

"It's nice to meet you all."

"You too. How's your back?" Rooster asks.

"Oh. It's fine. Barely a scratch."

"You play pool?"

"I do."

The only female pilot, Phoenix, hands you the ball rack. "Rack'em up."

[captaindibbzy]

Thinking about that how do you get hot water for tea poll that had microwave and stove top (op has deleted it. My sincerest condolences. I can relate.)

But I see microwave crop up a lot on the tea front. Previously I've got crabby about it cause I am a self confessed tea snob, but as I aged my philosophy is if you want to make yourself shit tea that's your business. Drink it how you like.

But it still confuses me that for many Americans the only way to get boiling or near boiling water is to microwave it or put a pan on the stove top. Electric kettles are so ubiquitous in the UK that even households who don't drink tea will have one cause it's a fast way to get boiling water for cooking, filling hot water bottles, cleaning/sterilising. And it's also Much Safer than a microwave which can cause the water to reach above boiling point without showing signs of it and then explode when something is added to it.

A kettle is considered Specialist Equipment in a country where eight in ten people have a dedicated coffee maker. Baffling. Thank you.

Anyway, besides microwave, electric kettle, and stove top kettle/pan, other methods I can think of of getting boiling water include those weird wall boilers and Quooker taps, both of which freak me the fuck out cause i can not look at them without intrusive thoughts if washing my hands only to discover the water is 98°C, but both of which are bizarrely common in office environment. Presumably so the queue for the kettle doesn't get too long.

[canisbaileyilupus]

I've had a lot going on, time to recap. Can't seem to do a read more on mobile for some reason.

My mom's friend is mentally ill and has been floating around with meds for a couple years and hasn't been consistent in taking them properly. She's also a recovering alcoholic and relapses often.

My mom has been friends with her for 30 years and I am forced to live with my mom bc I can't live alone (rent is awful). Now, mom decides on her own to let her live with us. I disagree but she never asked me. So, in August (I think?) She moves in. She's been told it's not permanent and she'd have to get back on her feet since she was escaping an abusive relationship. Not my problem, I didn't have a choice. So, she's been told the rules, no smoking inside, clean up after yourself, no drugs or alcohol, take her meds on time, etc. This also included buying her own food and paying rent. Mom then goes back on that, saying she can buy her own food but also share ours. That wasn't in the agreement, but I can't fight her on it. Now, food and bills go up. It's costing me more to feed this 55 year old spoiled brat than to put gas in the car.

Since being diagnosed with autism, she's ignored my "I can't handle loud voices and sounds" and the rules of "be quiet or people will report us." She uses her vape pen inside (yes that's included in the smoking rule) and she's relapsed twice since being here (alcohol). She waits until the last minute to make phone calls to therapists, doctors, and housing office to find a place to live. When she doesn't get the therapy she wants she throws a fit.

Now, it's months later, and we got our very first lease violation. The apartment complex office is aware we have someone living here that's not on the lease. And she's been warned on her voice (blames BPD) so much it's annoying and that's also a lease violation.

I am in fear of being evicted. This is our only warning. The next time they send our a lease violation email, they will file eviction papers and we will end up with 30 days to leave.

This is what I've been dealing with for months. I'm so fucking tired.

And there's a lot of small things that bother me too, really gross stuff. She shits and pees herself and refuses to wear diapers. She has done so much laundry it's scary. If we paid for water, we would be unable to live here. She uses a full roll of toilet paper a day to wipe her ass and absolutely explodes the toilet. She leaves her hair everywhere. She never put her shit away either, everything is everywhere. Every room she goes in it's like a tornado. She also doesn't clean her dishes, leaves coffee grounds everywhere and doesn't understand that the water bottles are for my mom and I bc we can't drink the tap water. She's also said I'm rude bc I don't want to have a conversation. I'm not someone who talks a lot, everyone knows this about me. If I wanna talk, I'll talk. If not, I don't participate in conversation.

Let's put this last bit out here for you guys. She is spoiled. She has gotten everything she's ever wanted to a point where if she wanted money, all she has to do is cry to the right people, annoy her mother long enough, abuse her power over a partner to a point they give her money. Even now, she's 55 and her mom is dealing with her father who has dementia. She still calls her crying and to shut her up her mom throws money at her. She's had a maid pretty much her whole life and has never had to struggle financially. Now that she is poor, she doesn't want to give up her spending habits and everytime she has a little money she'll buy shit she doesn't need, including furniture she can't put anywhere for an apartment she doesn't have.

I'll be adding photos when I get a moment as well. Some photos will include a toilet bowl but only if people wanna see it.

[witchlingsandwyverns]

Hellooo again from your secret Santa!

I have ideas coming together so I hope you don’t mind if I pop in for some more questions!

You’re a big reader - do you have any foundational fantasy books that hold a special place in your heart? Like Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, Mists of Avalon, Wrinkle in Time? And if so, what do you love most about them?

You mentioned gardens - tell me your ideal fantasy garden to wander around. Is it messy and wild and covered in moss? Full of strange special plants from around the world with magical traits? Is it filled with hedges trimmed to look like dragons?

Finally, if you were Rhys and buying Feyre her first Solstice gifts, what would you get her?

HOOOO BOY YA ALREADY SPOILING ME I CAN TELL BY YOUR QUESTIONS WOW

Okay just wow where to begin

BOOKS

Foundational fantasy... hard to say since I'm only really now getting into High Fantasy/the foundational epics typical of the genre (I never read lotr till this year, but grew up with the movies - discovered Philip Pullman late, couldn't get into GoT, etc) but some long time favs inlcude:

- Tamora Pierce (lioness/wild magic): characters are fun, spunky, and challenged by circumstance to weigh what they value vs what must be done. The romance! The action!

- Howls Moving Castle: I loved how protagonists can be flawed and petty and stubborn but those things can also be strengths in the right light (I have the same feeling about the Mistborn cast) not to mention that underlying truth of sometimes you don't want to do a thing but you have to and you'll be better for just doing it idk I really hope this makes sense

- you mentioned Mists of Avalon! I took Arthurian Lit and loved it so anything that takes an old myth and spins it, I'm am here for

- (do you know how hard of a question this is for me?)

This is only what I could squeeze in frame. Books were one of the very few things i collect? Hoard? And have been hoarding since Ive had my own money. A lot of fantasy I think of as 'foundational' is whatever I could get my hands on and shaped how I read the genre. Cinda Willaims Chima. Patricia C Wrede. Bruce Colville. Niel Gaiman. Piers Anthony. Terry Pratchett. Could literally talk for hours. But I love characterization/character dynamics and tropes (whole tag: "takes a hit of the good shit tropes") omg this got so long I'm sorry I hope this is helpful I just really want to do your questions justice

GARDENS

(I'm sorry in advance I've worked at a plant nursery and as a florist assistant so bear with me!)

Dream garden: wild and colorful! Anything that attracts pollinators (half the fun is watching bees and butterflies and birds appreciate what's been grown) and smells nice! Jasmine lavender honeysuckle, I think gardens should still look like nature (wild, balanced between flowering and evergreen) but also a sensory experience. Moss!! For!!! Days!!! Old stone/brick work! Statuary! Swings to sit on in the morning sun with coffee or at night with the bats and fireflies! (I once got to walk in Central Park in the rain and stumbled across the Shakespeare garden and I straight up was in heaven. The sound of rain on leaves. The walking paths.)

BACK TO YOUR Q: Hedges are for kissing behind. Plants with healing properties are a magic of their own. Growing things ARE magic. But if that dragon statue was enchanted or the sculpted siren in the fountain sang when the sun hit the water just right? I WOULDNT BE SAD ABOUT IT. 🌻

FEYRE

For our our first solstice I would give her a space to paint or read in depending on her fancy. A space to be creative in with lots of light and windows. With warm drinks on tap for the late nights she wishes to stay up late chasing that creative buzz. Conveniently soundproofed for music to jam to while painting late at night... or maybe other late night activities with a certain high lord should he also need an escape or she needs a model (ahem 👀). Maybe it's near a garden or within walking distance of a view of natural elements to inspire her. Maybe its filled with plants and canvases and brick walls to hang other artists art on. I know Rhys has gifted her similar things in cannon but as a fellow creative, it's the dream.

EDIT: MAGIC CHAIR!!!! SHIFTS BETWEEN THE PERFECT READING CHAIR OR PAINTING STOOL! COMFY NO MATTER HOW YOU SIT IN IT

(Dear lord this got long, I hope it helps!!!)

[notablytrustableindividual]

Band Rants #2 - Far Caspian

Sorry for the delay for the 0.63 people who care, the last week has been not great, and I've been barely holding on. As I write this, it is 2:53 am on a Saturday, and I'm drinking tap water out of a Nicholas Cage mug in the dark.

Anyways, back to music.

There were several bands in somewhat similar styles I almost wrote about instead. Slaughter Beach, Dog and their transformation from Midwest Emo to Indie Rock to Folk (The reverse Wilco, as I like to call it) or Peach Pit, who did something similar with an odd yet fun discography. In a more pop vein, I also considered Rotel Otis, who I started listening to when they were on the Fresh Finds playlist, and whose ability to pump out fun single after fun single confuses me to this day.

But instead I settled on Far Caspian, a band that is a bit harder to pin down. So what is Far Caspian, and why should you care about them?

First, Far Caspian is an Indie Rock/Pop Project led by Irish multi instrumentalist Joel Johnston, who has released 3 Eps, and a full length Album. Their first Ep, Between Days, cane out in 2018. The Heights followed in 2019, and their first full length Album, Ways To Get Out, dropped in 2021.

I am not mincing words when I say Far Caspian is some of the most relaxing, aesthetically pleasing music I've ever heard. Listening Between Days feels like lying on top of a ridge and staring out, relaxed. It's music that makes everything feel fine, even when it's not.

Of course, I will admit some bias in this. Far Caspian has been comfort music for me for years now. I used to sit in the library of my school during lunch, surrounded by ornate carved bookshelves and wearing a beat to shit pair of headphones, rushing through my 5th period AP Euro homework as Far Caspian played, keeping me from panicking even more. The example of me laying on a ridgeline isn't just metaphor either. I've done it before (I highly recommend it, it's very relaxing)

While the 2018 EP is mostly acoustic, 2019's The Heights branches out a bit. Some synth and piano show up, adding some variety to the instrumentals. Each song on The Heights also feels just that little bit more unique. Of course, I'm biased in this matter. The slightly faster guitar and simple drum line if Conversations lives rent free in my head.

(I can effortlessly sing along to it by the way, it's my second most played song of all time)

Yes, I'm aware this is a bit cursed.

Either way, the Heights contains some of the best sounding guitar lines I've ever heard. It's just unfathomably relaxing to me. Of course, the lyrics and drums are also pretty good. When talking lyrics, I would be stupid to not mention A Dream Of You. (You should listen)(please?)

This song is Far Caspian's most popular, and it earns it. The lyrics live rent free in my head, expressing longing for someone else's presence beautifully. The slow, calm guitars and passive drumline even have a little beat drop in the instrumental breakdown towards the end. It is probably one of my favorite beat drops ever. Even with its slow pace, the song has this way of sucking you in. I enjoy it quite a lot. The melody holds a special place in my heart.

In 2021, Far Caspian released their first full length Album, and it was quite a pivot. It's atmospheric and plodding. The music is still gorgeously composed, but there's a very prevalent sadness throughout. If you've listened to the previous songs I'd recommended listening to and enjoyed them, I can't guarantee you'll enjoy the album as well.

Of course, the album has its high points. For me, the most standout tracks were right at the start and end. House is by far one of the most complex songs Far Caspian has ever made. It starts out with a simpke guitar riff, and builds, until its soothing saxophone, combined with its other myriad instruments make the songs climax just transcendent for me.

Of course, they have one more Ep which came out a few days before I wrote all this. Its similar to the 2021 release in a lot of ways. That being said, the closer on the 4 song ep, Arbitrary Task, just sucks me into a trance. It's noisy, strumming guitars, combined with an omnipresent drum line, whittles at the senses a bit, until the comparative quiet of the bridge snaps you back to reality.

Of course, like every band, they also have a large catalouge of singles.

I'd recommend the alternate version of Conversations (Shocking, I know) and Holding On, which is thier first ever song.

Overall, Far Caspian is a band that can be both gentle, and calming, as well as rough andmelancholic. Whatever sound they have though, they are always heartfelt. They remind me of Turnover and Real Estate in a lot of ways. To quote someone else's review of Real Estate, "This is a band fotlr those who can chill to the max"

Between Days (2018) - 8.4/10

The Heights (2019) - 9.3/10

Ways to Get Out (2021) - 6.5/10

Pet Architect (2023) - 5.5/10

[technoxenoholic]

yeah, i've tried this one.

it makes me vomit. no funny exaggeration here -- just very literal retching into the nearest sink/toilet/whatever. they literally had to put a warning sticker about my gag reflex in my dentist file. my gag reflex could kill god. pills are not happening.

so here's what i do, as a resource for my fellow people who really, genuinely Can't swallow pills. it will make The Horrible Pill Slurry a LOT more tolerable to get down!

disclaimer: i do this with painkillers that can be ground into powder, and i cannot speak to its efficacy with non-painkiller medications nor with pills that can't be ground up.

ingredients:

your painkiller dose (ground up into the finest, most consistent powder you can; if you can get a mortar and pestle just for this, it helps so much with not worrying about getting nasty painkiller taste in other stuff later. also, i like to pre-grind my doses so they're ready to go when i need them, and we're keeping them in those little weekly pill box thingies.)

one huge, heaping teaspoonful of honey (or you can use a gently heaped tablespoon if it's easier, but i find stirring with a larger spoon to be Difficult)

about 2/3 to 3/4 of a cap of lemon juice. i'm talking about the twist-off caps on brands like realemon (actual brand name lemon juice not required, i'm just trying to give info). it'll depend on how much painkiller you need and your bitterness tolerance, so feel free to experiment with how much you use!

instructions:

put your painkiller powder and the lemon juice into a medium-to-large glass/cup with a handle. the handle is very important if you're less coordinated/more clumsy when you're in pain, like i am.

get some hot water. either run the hottest water you can get from your tap, or use your kettle to heat it, or put it in the microwave -- doesn't matter how, just get it as hot as you can while still being able to drink it.

fill your cup with the hot water, leaving enough room to add your massive spoonful of honey.

add your massive spoonful of honey to the water.

keep your glass on a stable surface and stir, slowly and gently so you don't spill, until the honey is all dissolved.

now, we're going to drink this horrible thing. keep stirring. lift your cup by the handle, still stirring, and stand over the sink. take a big sip and a swallow, fast as you can without getting queasy, so you hopefully don't have to taste any painkiller clumps that didn't dissolve nicely (there will always be some).

always keep stirring between sips, or at least stir well right before each sip, because the painkiller will not want to become a permanent part of the solution (no, not even if it were just in water). naproxen, acetaminophen, nothing i've done this with ever wants to stay dissolved. don't worry about it; just keep stirring.

finally, once you're done drinking your glass of Pill Slurry, and this is crucially important... eat a tasty little treat. i personally recommend something with chocolate and/or caramel in it -- you're trying to wipe out the last of the bad flavors in your mouth (also, having a cookie just makes me feel better emotionally after having to do all that).

so why does this work? well, the lemon cuts the bitter taste of the medicine. the honey cuts some extra bitterness as well as most of the awfulness of drinking straight-up lemon juice (even diluted, that shit sucks). the treat at the end gives you something to look forward to so you finish taking your dose, and makes the bad flavors less likely to linger in your mouth.

it's still not good, but it's a lot less bad. good luck, fellow migraine-havers, joint-pain-sufferers, and other chronic pain sorts.

hey you!

yeah, you who has trouble swallowing pills.

When I was about 23, I finally had someone teach me a trick that worked.  Put the pill in your mouth, take a sip of liquid to hold in your mouth.  Toss your head back dramatically so the pill and liquid roll to the back of your tongue.  While your head is still back like you’re doing a Pepsi commercial, take another drink and swallow.

You’re welcome.

Unless it didn’t work for you in which case, back to crushing them up with two spoons.  Sorry about that.

[irritablepoe]

i saw ur post abt ur meds and i’m having the same trouble, so i hope i don't intrude (but if i do just tell me, i’m going to be alright w it ) but a little ‘hack’ i do is i set myself up to be like oh it's there might just take it anyway

by observing my ‘switch of places during the day’ which is just, bed, desk, water dispenser 😭 but what i do is,,,place the meds where i usually am close to the time where i need to take them!! ex.

i go to my desk @ 4am bc whatever entity thought it would be fucking funny to make me wake up in cold sweat @ 4 am nearly everyday, and i go straight to my desk to distract myself so i often place my meds the night before near my pen tablet or notebook so it's visible easily, and i get the welp it's there gotta yake it ig,,,

i go back to nap and catch a lil more sleep at around 6am and reach for my vape under my pillow to lull me so i put it next to the vape under my pillow and the might as well take it strikes again

i snack a lot towards the evening and have to take melatonin so i put it on top of my chips/cookie packet so when i reach for the snack it's there again!!

it doesn't always work but a lot of times it does so i just count on that hshshs

ALSO carry a water bottle / tumbler w u, or any drink pleasant to u (which i prefer more bc i will take my meds just to get another sip), so that u dont have to get water from a tap or dispenser each time to drink so there's less hindrances bc the tiniest hindrance also puts me off ad annoys me and i end up just ignoring the meds hshwhshhsha

PLS DONT BE OBLIGATED TO LIKE, TRY IM ONLY SHARINGSHHWHS bc it has helped me a lot of times!! it does take some preparation the night before but i jus think of it as scattering traps for myself HSUSHWHWH

ily!! be nice to urself!! <33333

hi hello, sorry this took so long to answer, i was out yesterday dfhskdhfhsd

i'm sorry you're having the same problem but i hope you can manage <3

the thing is with my meds that one of them i have to take when i haven't eaten yet (and i can't eat for half an hour) and the other one i have to eat afterwards to get it out of my mouth basically, so it's basically ideally this: med 1 (and med 3, but med 3 is allergy pills, that's not as important when i take it most of the time) -> half an hour of waiting -> med 2 -> eat. but i always eat after med 1 and it's sooo annoying when i realise oh shit i have to eat another thing now to take med 2 bc i have not gotten used to it yet hffhskjfhshd

i also had an organizer for meds but i'm too lazy to fill it up AND they changed the package of my important meds so it's less on one template (?) basically which makes it every 14 days instead of 25 days to refill it at my nightstand, which is also sometimes forget.

but yeah it's also the placement that is the problem and i actually put med 2 more in front of me now so i don't forget thank youu so much for being concerned about me and thank you for the idea <333 ily too and be kind to yourself today as well :3

[theunseeliefairy]

If Sam from Joe and Sam’s episode of naked and afraid, was able to hold in her verbal abuse and stuck through to the end, everyone online would be annoyed with joe. But just because her mentality broke. All of Joe’s dangerous lack of common sense left people’s minds.

The only victory he had was catching some frogs. Which I am absolutely proud of him for I celebrated that victory with him while watching. But

He went against her knowledge of building a shelter and built a flimsy one where they were freezing to death all night (that wouldn’t be on the list if he didn’t go against her swearing he knows best because he has a reservation).

He ruined her trap…what was he even doing over there!?

He’s just letting himself die of dehydration she was PRE BOILING WATER FOR HIM! All he had to do was grab it and drink it! She probably felt responsible for him dying in the woods (having to be rescued by medic) for the stupidest reason.

Now if she didn’t say anything about letting him “die” and just letting it happen(let him be sick. that’s what a dark empath would do anyway but she has none of those skills neither. You wouldn’t have had to beg him to tap out girl, medic would have done it for you)….what would the masses think about that? I think the most I would do after that it silently set the water down beside him and walk away. She felt like she got put into the woods with a child. She didn’t expect the extra mental work she would have had to put in to keep her partner alive as well as her.

Idk I don’t expect everyone to have that amount of mental strength that’s ridiculous to me.

Note from a dark empath. Of you start feeling the need to be verbally abusive come on, just be silently neglectful. She only became the bad guy because she broke.

Or be a good person and somehow have the knowledge to navigate someone as frustrating as him. I hate to break it to you, a lot of people in this world was not raised learning that amount of psychological intelligence (not even just emotional intelligence because you have to figure out how to improve his common sense FOR HIM! how many of yall know how to do that?). You know how good of parents you have to have to learn that!? Not many of those kind of parents are out there. It’s frustrating that I know most of the people talking shit about her wouldn’t know how to handle this challenge with him either.

Also, it’s a good thing she’s a lesbian because this is A LOT of men. Unfortunately, I believe it is an adhd trait because I had a best friend (some adhd females as well) like that and maybe she noticed the neglectful tactics probably still never retaining what I warned her about.

Oh yeah! I also hate when people don’t acknowledge when I was right so yeah ima let you sit in your dehydration for that. Humans deserve their credit. If you can’t acknowledge when you’re wrong, I see that as a narcissistic red flag idk why no one else does. And! You’ll keep making the same mistakes over and over again instead of learning from them.

One more food for thought lady’s. What you might think is weaponized incompetence, might actually be unbelievable incompetence. It’s hard to believe but it exists. I have it in many areas too. I wouldn’t blame Sam for talking to me like that if I was him.

I also forgot to add that he almost burned himself alive when she left.

[neverluckygoldfish]

2 -

*trigger warning: substance abuse, depression, alcoholism*

I washed my hair today. Writing that out — it looks and feels silly to make that a win. Doesn’t everybody wash their hair, shower, brush their teeth, eat, sleep….everyday? It’s our basic needs that we learn as a child and somewhere along the lines, I lost control of all of them. I’ve struggled with all of these throughout my life, but for the past 2-5 years, they’ve really fallen off.

So yeah, I washed my hair. The big thing here is that I WANTED to. The thought of taking my clothes off, being naked, and the sensation of water on my skin didn’t fill me with extreme fear at being so vulnerable and exposed. And afterward? I felt good. I’d go so far as to say rejuvenated even. I looked forward to showering again tomorrow. Hi, it’s me and I am growing!!!!

After this, I’m going to brush my teeth. For the first time. In 10 days. I know, it’s disgusting but hey, that’s depression (no one said it was pretty).

I’ve been going to recovery meetings every day and reflecting on my life. How did I get to this point? I’m almost 30 and this is nowhere close to what I expected. I’m not entirely sure what I expected, actually. Sure — I have hopes and dreams, but I’ve also just floated along. My mom used to call me “a leaf in the wind”.

If you had asked me, before everything blew up last week — I would have told you that my life is not where I want it to be but “I’m working on it. No idea how I got here, but I’m handling it. Sure, I struggle with alcohol & drugs, but I can control it”. I can’t. That would have been a lie. And yet, I consider myself a pretty honest person.

Now, I realize that it wasn’t one massive spontaneous combustion, but a million little fires that were never put out, continually smoldering underneath throughout my life. That shit hurts to carry.

In AA, they talk a lot about God. Surrendering to Him, as you understand him. I’ll be honest, I have some mixed feelings about this God character. I’m a facts-based, evidence person. (Except when I’m feeling anxious or insecure, bc then I looooove to believe shit I have no basis for). I lean towards science/an agnostic view. Proof. I also tend to believe everything is meaningless. But I feel desperate lately, to surrender to something beyond myself. Because I tried surrendering to myself as I am and well, this me is all over the place and loves to get high lol.

I’d like to think of God as a greater power, but within myself. A greater She that I haven’t been able to tap into. Because of unprocessed childhood trauma, which left me feeling alone with no sense of self-esteem. That instead of reaching inwardly for Her, I chose to cloud my thoughts, feelings, and view of the world with drinking & drugs. No self-judgment here. It was just easier and in a way, it was what I knew. But I’m starting to believe in Her. She, who is truly honest, resilient, kind, and compassionate. Each day, I get closer to reconciling the greater She with me as I am today.

I’m feeling more and more chipper as each new day comes. But I also feel an undercurrent of anxiety growing. I try to take it one day at a time. But I get so restless and easily overwhelmed, then I spiral & I don’t know what to do with myself. My therapist says “Young lady, you need to stay busy or you’ll get into trouble”. But my ADHD brain says I DON’T WANT TO PLAN. EW GROSS WORK!!!

And, in the spirit of honesty, I’m eating some sour skittles for breakfast. It’s progress, not perfection people! Don’t worry, I’m also drinking a protein shake too bc like, health.

I’ll make it a point to end these with one thing I am grateful for/one thing that has brought me a glimpse of happiness:

I got my first AA chip! My first meeting, I was the only newcomer. It was Friday night & there were people of all sobriety ages. I cried. I felt so brittle, so broken and at rock bottom. Everyone in that meeting, I mean literally EVERYONE, welcomed me with open arms (read: actual hugs) & told me to hang in there. I’ve never felt so comforted, and by strangers nonetheless.

Sincerely, I.

[froggibus]

hello! i love your ow content! may i ask for some lucio beach day fluff? im in desperate need for some frog boi 😤

Beach Day Headcanons (ft. Lucio, Baptiste, Cassidy, Genji & Hanzo)

Genre: fluff!

Summary: how these Overwatch boys would be at the beach

CW: mentions of burning, mentions of cancer (Baps), lots of dorky jokes, alcohol

ahh ty!! that is so sweet! i decided to turn this one into HCS cause i thought it fit better! but i am open to writing a full fic about it too tbh...also kinda wanna do a pt 2 with like Kiriko, Ashe, JQ, Mercy etc so if we want that LMK! enjoy <3

————

Lucio

he is so excited to go to the beach

this man LOVES to swim and play beach volleyball and you can’t change my mind

you end up being the driver while he plays his ‘perfect beach’ playlist

you don’t mind because the way he hums and taps his hands on the dash is adorable

definitely packs a speaker and blasts music all day

1000% wears his own merch and probably has cute little green board shorts he wears

sets up an umbrella for you to lay under and put all your drinks

he’s in the ocean more than he is on land 

probably brought some pool floaties or something to play with in the water 

if you don’t get in he will totally throw you into the water 

and starts an all out water war

if you don’t like the water though he respects that

buys ice cream for the two of you 

and spends twenty minutes trialling every flavour first

doesn’t wear sunscreen himself but will apply it to you as often as he can 

“I don’t want you to burn! My healing only does so much”

if you’re tired at the end of the day he’ll drive you home so you can sleep in the car

and if you get burnt he’ll apply some aloe vera extra gently for you

Baptiste

honestly a bit of a miracle in itself that you could drag him away from his work

but once you actually get to the beach he’s super excited 

definitely brings a book or something to read while you’re there

also has a cooler with lots of snacks and drinks, and at least five water bottles

shows up in khakis and a Hawaiian shirt but has cute patterned swim shorts underneath

probably with like little palm trees or something

doesn’t play in the water too much and mostly goes in to cool off

splashes you at every chance he gets though

is an absolute sucker for those fruit drinks that they serve in the fruit 

probably has one in his hand constantly even when its literally not possible

“you’re swimming how did you even get that”

“a pirate never reveals his secrets”

???

will let you wear his hawaiian shirt as a cover up 

it looks super cute on you anyway 

is super careful to make sure you both reapply sunscreen 

“but we put some on two hours ago.”

“skin cancer doesn’t care.”

overbearing but you love him

Cassidy

LIFEGUARD CASS RIGHTS!!!

real shit though this man would not be a lifeguard 

he would just want to relax and have some drinks and some fun with his S/O and friends

totally unprepared

like he just brings his board shorts and a t-shirt with a towel and maybe his wallet 

relies on everyone else for everything

drinks ALL your water

not really a swimmer and more of a sit on a pool float and have drinks person 

speaking of pool floats he definitely has a super dorky looking horse themed one that he brings everywhere

named it after Reyes too

if you don’t go into the water he will make you go into the water

be prepared to be thrown in against your will

its okay though because all you need to do is pretend you’re drowning/can’t swim

and he’ll come running tail between his legs

forgets to wear sunscreen and BURNS

and then complains that he got burnt for the next week

asks you to rub aloe vera on him 

and who are you to deny?

Genji

he used to love the beach

he is no longer a big fan

even though his cybernetics are advanced enough to survive getting wet, the salt water SUCKS

and the sand?? it gets stuck in his joints 

if he does agree to go to the beach he is definitely not playing any beach sports or swimming 

but he DOES bring squirt guns to annoy you with

he pulls them out of literally nowhere to douse you in water

it doesn’t matter if you take it away, he’ll just pull out another one

if you try to retaliate, its all: “babe no the salt water is bad for my armour”

“im literally shooting your actual skin”

he is a BLESSING to have when its really hot though

cause he can control his body temperature, he is like a portable air conditioner 

you just lay on him whenever you get too hot

he accepts it because he just wants to be close to you

Hanzo

makes a bunch of food and drinks for the beach

including lots of tea sandwiches and juice boxes

brings it all in this ginormous cooler that he can barely see over 

also brings himself a book to read

he’s not very interested in going in the water but he’ll play beach games with you

or just lay on the towel and read

but if he’s reading you’re more than welcome to lay on him

make sure he applies sunscreen!!

he has delicate skin and burns easily and WILL be grumpy if he gets burnt

he’ll go in the water if you ask him nicely

but don’t splash him or else

when you’re swimming he would definitely let you wrap your arms around his shoulders while he swims around and just tow you

he is probably a god at beach volleyball tbh

and shuffleboard but we don’t talk about that

makes sure you stay hydrated the whole time and is constantly pushing you to try the food he made

[arabella111]

how to make your own method for manifesting ! (that gives you your results in seconds >.<)

if you're someone who constantly struggle with methods, you're in the right place. this post will help you make your own method and just boost up your manifestation skills in general so you don't have to run after blogs asking them what the "best method" is or just cry about how the _____ method doesn't work for you no matter how much you try/believe.

firstly, we'll start off by questioning why a particular method might not work for you. now there might be a lot of reasons, but (acc to me), the most common are :

1. not acknowledging your power.

2. assuming a particular method is hard.

3. overcomplicating the shit out of it and putting it on a pedestal.

4. trying really hard.

if you're doing any of these, you're just limiting yourself. YOU ARE ABOVE EVERY METHOD AND RULE! you keep giving your power to a particular method and then say "i'm god but i still keep failing" GOD CAN'T FAIL! change your assumptions, baby.

now that we know what our problem is and also it's solution (change your assumptions, that's the solution, i can't stress on this anymore) let's see why a particular method gives you results.

it's because you assume it does. that's it. i don't have to emphasize on this anymore. you assume the i am method gives instant results? ok so it will. you assume visualization gives instant results? it will. you assume knowing is enough? then it is! it's as easy as that. that's why, blogs say every method is as powerful as the other one. there is no "powerful and instant" method. you're powerful. you give yourself instant results.

to conclude :

visualization = i am method = affirming = literally any method you can think of.

we all know we don't need a method so why bother creating one for yourself? the reason is, we use methods as placebos. when i was young, i assumed that when i tap my watch three times and then asked it for sumn, it would give me what i want. and guess what? i did got what i wanted. i didn't even knew of manifestation back then.

so how do we create our own method? simple, we just assume that doing a particular thing gives us our desire and then know that our 3d will conform to our assumptions!

i'll give an example.

ok imagine there is this person named lily, she gets her desired face overnight! what did lily do? nothing, she just assumed drinking a glass of water while visualizing will get her results. that's basically it. she knew she had her desired face and persisted. and she got what she wanted!

this is basically what i wanted to tell you all. you can create your own method easily. just take some two-three random actions (and when i say random, i mean it) and assume doing those will give you your results. now the actions can be anything. affirming three times while tapping your fingers. visualizing while dancing. LITERALLY ANYTHING! and then just know that your desire is yours in your 4d and since you believe in yourself, your 3d will conform to you.

manifestation is effortless. stop overcomplicating it by putting up so many rules. if you don't like any thing a blog or i say, don't believe it! you make your own rules. we are no one to interfere in your manifestation journey. we're just trying to help, please be patient and respectful with us. it's okay if something we say don't resonate with you, you're the creator, create your own do's and dont's. nobody can judge you!

little note and advice : i get literally so many asks questioning about how to know. ok, first of all, it's really easy. all you gotta do is acknowledge the fact that creation is finished and everything you can ever think of exists already. and that you're gonna get it no matter what. that's knowing. assuming, knowing and persisting, that's creating your reality.

i hope this helped everyone understand how easy it is to manifest. create your own rules and methods and go live that dream life (tell me your methods if you all want :p)

ALL THE BEST MWAH! 🤍