#and i NEED to finish my d&d campaign so we can actually start PLAYING.

[atticollateral]

having adhd makes me want to scream because i am so full of ideas but they're ALL DIFFERENT IDEAS!!!! do you understand how hard it is being the adhd king that i am, the embodiment of jack of all trades master of none, do you understand-- I am suffering at the hands of this bastard known as mySELF. I fucking hate it here. If time could slow down a little and give me some breathing room? I'd be golden.

[dailyadventureprompts]

DM Tip: Creating a Campaign Skeleton

Learning to be a better dungeonmaster was a protracted process. A younger me was often so stressed out by the desire to be a better artist that I'd have legitimately mauled a person if it would've revealed to me the wisdom I sought (with my hands or even an actual maul given the chance).

One of my biggest hurdles was the idea of a universal framework for d&d adventures, a guideline that would tell me if the things I was creating were on the right track. It was sorely needed, I loved the process of being creative but without an understanding of how my creative energy was best used I ended up sinking days, weeks, or even months worth of energy into projects that went nowhere. Worse yet, when I DID get a chance to put my ideas into practice at the table they'd frequently spiral out of control and crash, resulting in even more stress.

Over time I learned from these mistakes, I got better, and then I got good. I moved from conscious incompetence to competence, and I ended up having a run of absolutely stellar campaigns that were everything my younger self could have dreamed of: stable, enjoyable, meaningful, and most importantly an absolute delight to my players. Routinely I'd have people, including folks that'd only played with me a few times, mention that getting together to roll dice and listen to me babel on in silly voices was a highlight of their week.

It was as one of these campaigns began to wind down (three years! a satisfying conclusion on the horizon!) and I started looking for a followup scenario that I decided to study all my really successful campaigns and figure out what connected them. The end result was something I'd been looking for for nearly a decade, a reliable format that I could build campaigns around.

I want to preface this section with the understanding that while this information is laid out in a vaguely chronological fashion there's no guarantee that these ideas will occur to you in any particular order. Inspiration is a funny thing, and each idea flows into the others to make a cohesive whole. Due to foreshadowing and setup reasons you're also going to need a pretty solid idea about all of these when starting a campaign, though exact details will likely change/ can be vague up until the moment they're needed.

The Reason: Who are we and what are we doing?

Gives your players a solid background to build their characters around and give them a reason to travel together, rather than having to ad lib one on the spot. Likewise sets expectations of what the campaign is "about" that you can build on or subvert in time. The reason doesn't need to hold true for the entire game, just long enough to serve as a framing device. EG: The Witcher starts out as a "monster of the week" setup and then uses that framework to pivot into politics and prophecy once we've seen the premise play out.

The Pilot/Crashtest Adventure: What's first?

I’ve already written about these, but the general concept is to give your party a mostly contained first outing that doesn’t have any larger bearing on the plot so they can focus on learning how their characters play/building the party dynamic.  By the time the party's finished this first adventure they'll have already started putting down roots in the world: they'll have in jokes, npcs they've started to care about, an understanding of what's on the horizon, and an idea of where they want to go next.

The Central Gameplay Pillar: How does this all work?

It's important to have an idea what your campaign is going to be about in a mechanical sense in addition to its plot and themes. There is a difference between an adventure that has the party delve a dungeon, and a dungeoncrawling focused campaign. I like to lead with these outright during the campaign pitch so that players can know what they're getting into. Your playgroup will likely have strong opinions about what they like and dislike, even if they don't have the words to describe it, so you might need to explain the ideas for them.

The Hub: Where are we?

I think every good campaign has a hub, some kind of settlement that the party returns to between adventures to offload loot, pick up supplies, and sift through the latest gossip to look for the next questhook. Letting the party return to the same place lets them build up a relationship with it, clarifying the picture in their mind as new details are added and they grow more and more attached. It's possible to have multiple hubs over the course of a campaign, but I'd advise really only having one per arc to best concentrate your efforts. Fill up your hub with distractions and side adventures, shorter stories that the party can get tangled up in while the larger adventure slowly reveals itself. Returning to the same hub also means returning to a familiar and expanding cast of NPCs, which helps your party become more and more invested in the setting

The Main Event: What's going to happen?

Here we get to the meat of the issue, the big story you want to be telling using this campaign. To pull off the sick narrative kickflip you wish to perform, you're going to need to lay a lot of groundwork, seeding in details left and right as well as giving the party a chance to stumble across evidence of your schemes without ever realizing the whole thing. To do this, you're going to work in the building blocks of your big reveal/twist/pending disaster into the setting along with those side adventures from the hub. This will give your party an idea that something is going on, but with more pressing matters to take care of they're going to be distracted up until the moment you decide to pull the trigger.

The Setting: What's over there?

While things like genre and tone are definitely things you should have a handle on from the outset, I personally feel like the details of a setting are best constructed on an ad hoc basis, either in a direct response to something required by part of the narrative (be it side story or main event), or pencilled in at the margins as the party explores the world.. That said, creation of the hub and setting often go hand in hand because it's important to match the settlement to the environment and then shape the environment to the quests inside the settlement. As for what's beyond your hub, I happen to have just written something about building out settings.

Now, this next option is one that I recommend you start thinking about only once your campaign is fully underway, so it doesn't clog up your creative process by focusing on something that you might not even get to

The Change: What the fuck?

A little while after the main event has kicked off and your party is off on the quest that will turn them from mere adventurers into heroes, they start to hear rumours of strange happenings. It's certainly not related to the present scenario, it may even be an unexpected windfall, but it's not something they have time to look into. Time ticks on, the land is saved, and the party is able to enjoy their victory lap as well as some dearly needed time off. Before they can get comfortable however they're slammed by some strange occurrence that they could have never predicted that changes the state of the world. A neighbouring kingdom invades, an important ally is murdered and they're blamed for it, a dragon starts rampaging through the realm. Its important that this event is outside the party's skillset, not necessarily diametrically opposed, but counter to what they were planning

artsource

[artofshinga]

A bit ago I did a whole-ass set of warlocks based on D&D 5e subclasses - mostly for fun and also because my RP group was planning a warlock game. I didn't HAVE to draw one of each but doing so DID help me decide which one I wanted to play (this is, to note, why the characters are all pretty fem-coded - because that's my favorite to RP) Anyway, after I drew them all, folks asked if I'd do other classes too. And I was like, maybe? But, sorcerer did sound fun to do this with so over the last few months I've been working on them kinda on the side while I put most my energy in, like, the commissions I need to finish lol. But here, a bunch of theoretical sorcerers I'd personally play in a game:

Let's start us off with Iris, a half-elf who'd be living a pretty normal life in a normal job (I was thinking she was probably a waitress or somethin) until she finds something weird - a piece of a meteor or something, you know how it goes. Suddenly she has powers, and that's where her adventure would begin More sorcerers under the cut!

Tally I struggled with because, as it turns out, little mechanical fairy wings are complicated to draw. BUT also fun - I liked the idea of a fairy who's lost her wings and while she's trapped in the material plane she befriends a clockmaker who builds her little wings for her and eventually her magic ends up kind of syncing up with the mechanical way he teaches her about the world

Elysia was actually the last one I drew, since I have a DIFFERENT Divine Soul sorcerer I've already designed and want to play as a priority, but then I happened to see something about Greek gods while watching TV one day and thought, oh hey, that'd be a fun way to play with a divinity-themed sorcerer - maybe a musician that caught the affections of a god who blessed her with magic

Cherish is a cheerful tiefling working at an inn with her former-adventurer mother. We can guess what sort of things her mother got up to in her adventure since she ended up raising a child with some mysteriously draconic features

NGL Aine was just a way for me to play with some of the inspirations I used to cling to as a kid. Sailor Moon and other various bits of anime and JRPGs and such that I loved in my youth and used a LOT to inspire art. I wanted to remember that - and a catgirl wearing too many belts sounded perfect for that

Leila is probably my weirdest - she's SPECIFIC, like if there's a campaign set in the Shadowfell or something, I imagined a maid working in a mansion that gets magicked away to this realm and her gaining that shadow power when it happens

One of my first 5e characters was a storm sorcerer - more focused on rain and lightning and thunder. I used the same hair color and close to the same skin color to make this new storm sorcerer as a bit of a nod to that character, and wanted this one more focused on winter storms (including making her a winter eladrin elf)

and last but certainly not least, Gemma the halfling cursed with wild magic. I think she started off her adventuring life with a thieves' group before they found the wrong magic artifact. You know how it goes

[jmdbjk]

So I'm writing this because of a convo with my bestie who said:

"Ferg, have you considered writing a blog addressing the wrong headed assumption that the members were "forced" to create the Festa content that we got today? How the people pushing that agenda are not looking at what was happening in their lives at the time said content was filmed. They always want us to have pictures and music at Festa. They WANT to create that content. If they were "forced" it wasn't by the company, it was by the calendar and the government. With no (military) exemption, they understood that the only time to come up with OT7 music or pictures was before mid December (2022). And drilling down, the only time was in October. RIGHT when they hit the final acceptance that they would all start enlisting and the foreseeable future was actually not foreseeable at all. Their hearts were extra heavy that within a few weeks they would say goodbye to Jin. Yoongi was dealing with severe writers block and, I think, feeling guilty that he was going to miss his deadline for the first time EVER. RM was working toward the release of Indigo. Kookie was looking at heading to Qatar. Yada yada. So with all that....they had to try and look light hearted. They didn't. The anxious vibes come right off the screen. We all feel it but many are not interpreting it right. You know, the ones who already are quick to blame everything on the company."

Or the ones who only view everything through a shipper or solo lens and say the guys hate each other.

The members, who filmed this video months ago, filmed this with pure sincerity and love for us knowing they would not all be available to do anything for us for their 10th Anniversary Festa in June 2023. How must that have felt to them? To know that their milestone 10th Anniversary would not play out like they had envisioned way back in 2020? They thought they'd start enlisting by the end of 2020 and be finished with MS by now, so they'd be together in 2023. They had to try to come up with something spectacular for us and for themselves so that 3 years after that hot mess, we could celebrate with them. They deserve to celebrate themselves as well, they worked so hard over the past ten years.

Its the end of 2022. They looked a little tired. We know 2022 had some heartbreaking moments for them. By this time they were juggling their own projects AND the Busan concert preparation.

Hobi was ever-present sunshine, yet maybe he had a lot on his mind? Was he already thinking about his next projects and starting to contemplate an earlier than planned enlistment? We know Yoongi was trying to put finishing touches on D-Day. We know Jimin was working on at least one collab as well as his own MV concepts and promotion activities for Face and working out details for his fashion ambassadorships. Tae was busy exploring new things with fashion brands and tv shows. RM was finalizing his Indigo promotions. Jin was about to announce his enlistment plans. JK was prepping for Qatar. And here they were thinking ahead to June 2023.

I think they filmed this Festa video within days of the Busan concert. Either before or after. Remember we had a VHopeKookMin live right after the concert. I would also venture to say they also filmed this the same day as the Festa photoshoot (Love Myself campaign promo released end of November 2022):

Yet they still thoughtfully planned and executed things to be released for Festa. Concepts were conceptualized and the company took it from there and we see they've done a great job procuring deep-pocketed sponsors.

I don't understand the whole "they need to go start their own label" mindset either. I've already said it several times... they already did that, it's called BigHit Music. If BTS don't re-sign a contract its because they are retiring from releasing music. What IS plausible is a member or two starting an independent label for other up-and-coming artists so they can write and/or produce for them... all still under the HYBE umbrella.

During this solo era, I want to say things like "I think we can all agree ... [insert almost anything]" but I can't say that these days because, in my opinion, the fandom (on Twitter and other soc med platforms) has fractured into so many different factions who seem to spend a lot of time pitting themselves against other parts of the fandom for everything and anything they can find to nitpick, criticize, compare and compete with, to be angry about, that no one agrees on anything. This member is better than that member or ... and this one galls me... the company is forcing them to do this or that OR [insert member's name] sabatoged [insert other member's name].

Twitter Army yelling at Weverse Army "YOU'RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT!" Who designated Twitter Army as the dictator of all things BTS?

People berating others for not streaming the music, or trying to humiliate followers into streaming 'CORRECTLY'. The conspiracy theorists–don't get me started on that. The dissatisfaction with how the solo projects have rolled out. The constant comparison and competition of which member has the most streams in a certain time frame, who has the most songs on the chart for the longest, fastest, more countries, more collabs, more awards...whatever... It's all "my way or the highway/[member name] is the best" and it is really disappointing and tiresome to see the enormous waste of energy.

And if you are still reading, I am totally on board with what another blogger said the other day about how the entire Kpop fandom has this Kpop culture mindset deeply rooted in their way of thinking. It colors their view of EVERYTHING: that artists are treated badly by their record labels/entertainment companies to the point of being physically abused, artists are not paid well, artists are forced to do things and play roles... adhere to strict rules, etc.. because that's how the oldest companies started and some are still operating today (looking at you SM Entertainment).

That "business model" may have been "the way" in the beginning of the kpop industry because no one stood up and called them out on it. So people have come to think EVERY entertainment company operates that way when we've been shown and told over and over by many HYBE employees that its a great place to work. MANY people OUTSIDE the company, staff and other people in the music industry including other artists are blown away at the innovation and forward thinking of the company and we've even heard the members themselves say that they love their company.

Of course no company is perfect, there will be mistakes made, bad decisions, wrong projections, etc. but out of all the entertainment companies, BigHit, Bang PD and BTS have strived to change the system from the start and our own "fans" are being brainless shitheads and talking trash.

Also, HYBE can't come over here to the United States and start auditioning young people for new groups if they are operating like SM Entertainment. That shit ain't gonna fly over here. You'll have a lawsuit in a blink of an eye as soon as someone gets a whiff of sexual harassment or physical abuse of a minor. A carefully built and protected reputation would be ruined, not just Hybe's but BTS's and every other artist under Hybe's labels as well.

Yes, some things we've seen make us scratch our heads... the tight back to back release of Jimin and Yoongi's work had us all wondering what happened. Yes, Jimin's very abbreviated promotion period for Face was frustrating and disappointing. But no one knows what went on behind the scenes. If neither Jimin or Yoongi comes out and tells us what happened then I will just move forward like they are. If either of them made a mistake, we might not ever know of it, but they will correct it going forward. If the company was the one who miscalculated, they too will correct that in the future. We can call it out when we see it happening but there is no reason to dwell on it. I don't see anything positive or productive about the continued pointing fingers to blame, holding grudges and continuing to speak negatively when it's plain the members of BTS love us, work hard to show us that and deserve only to see our love reflecting back at them.

Ok so I've ranted long enough.

[Public Service Announcement: if I don't talk enough about your favorite member, or if I don't say things you want to hear about whatever is your hill you chose to die on, there is a block button way up there and also this nifty thing you can do called "scroll" that lets you ... wait for it... scroll! past my blog post so you don't have to expose yourself to my words. Its not that hard. Really. Otherwise, its all on you.]

[karmic-vibes]

If I Can Dream

22 - Answer’s Gonna Come Somehow

art credit: @lazylittledragon on tumblr / lazyjunebug on twitter. these specific panels are from the digital zine juno posted. go buy and support!!!!! there’s so many phenomenal works in there and it’ll warm your little heart.

cw: n/a :)

Year: 1995

“And what’s that?” Bobby pointed to Dustin’s book.

“That’s a character guide,” Dustin smiled.

“And that?”

“Guide to NPCs.”

“What’s an NPC?”

“Non-playable character,” Dustin chuckled.

“And those?”

“Villains. Bobbs, did you know that your papa is a dungeon master? He knows a lot more about this stuff than I do.”

“Whoa, really!”

“Yes, really.”

“And what’s the game called again?”

“DnD.”

“Got it. Papa!”

Bobby ran from her play room into the living room. Eddie was sitting on the couch, completing the finishing details for the campaign he’d be running later that day. Bobby crashed into the couch and rested her chin on the arm rest. 

“Papa?”

“Hi, pumpkin,” Eddie smiled.

“What’s D-n-D?”

Eddie’s eyes shot open as he looked to his little girl. He set down his pencil and notepad as he slid to his knees. He braced his hands on Bobby’s shoulders and pulled her close.

“Bobby Judas, my sweet, sweet girl. I need to tell you, with every fiber of my being, that this is the best day of my life.”

Bobby smiled proudly as her father whisked her into his lap and explained what he was doing with his latest campaign. She reclined back onto him as she was sucked into the enchanting fantasy world.

“And what’s your character, papa?”

“I was initially a bard, but since becoming dungeon master, I’ve been a vampire—Kas—Vecna’s second lieutenant.”

“What’s daddy?”

“Daddy doesn’t have a character.”

“Why not?”

“I dunno, pumpkin.”

“Daddy!” She yelled.

Steve’s ears rang at his daughter’s shrill shriek echoed throughout the house. He dried his hands on a rouge dish towel and wandered off to find the hell spawn.

“Yes, Bobby?”

“How come you don’t have a DnD character?” she asked.

“Because I don’t play.”

“But why not?”

“I never really understood it.” He shrugged and tussled her hair.

“Hey,” she whined.

“Oh, sorry, bug, I forgot you had hair clips in. Here, let me fix them.” He knelt to her height and unclipped her barrettes, promptly fixing them. “Better?”

“Mhmm.” She kicked her legs, accidentally knocking Eddie’s knees and shins.

“Ow, Bobbs, be careful, please,” Eddie said.

“Sorry, papa. So, do I have a character?”

“You do, actually,” Eddie smiled proudly. “On your first birthday, we threw you a DnD themed party where everyone came dressed as their characters. Since you didn’t have one yet, I made you one.”

“What am I‽” She gasped.

“You, my dear, are a first level Neutral Good Human Paladin.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that you are destined to be the best person you could possibly be. You’re adaptable and take adventure seriously—I noticed all that when you were a baby, and I still stand by it.”

“Papa, can I play with you guys tonight?”

“I can ask the rest of The Party, but there shouldn’t be any issue, pumpkin. Dustin!”

“Yeah?” he hollered back.

“Why’re you still in my daughter’s playroom? Come here, please!”

“What?” He asked, running down the stairs. “Everything okay?”

“No, Henderson, why would you introduce my child to DnD?” Steve asked, hands resting on his hips. “Now it’s two against one,” he teased.

“Ignore him,” Eddie rolled his eyes. “Would you mind if Bee joined us during our campaign tonight?”

“No, not at all. What would she be doing?”

“Well, I’ll start her off as second in command as dungeon master, then when it’s safe enough, we’ll work her in. Does that sound good, Bobbs?”

“Yeah!”

“Wonderful.”

“Does this mean it’s gonna be more tame?”

“Please,” Eddie scoffed, “as if my hell spawn couldn’t handle my sadistic campaign. Who do you think I raised?”

By four o’clock, the entirety of The Party arrived at the Harrington residence for an early dinner, prepared by Steve. The boys (and Bobby) dug in and by five o’clock, the game had started. Eddie lugged Bobby into his lap and leaned back in his masters thrown.

“Bee, you may begin,” he said.

In the deepest, gruffest voice she could muster up, Bobby leaned forward, only eyes peering over the master guide, and she set the scene for the campaign. Her voice changed with each character, however, sputtering a bit whenever she couldn’t pronounce something. Eddie would match whatever voice or tone she was putting on and sound out the words with her.

When Eddie knew it was safe for Bobby’s character to enter, he sat his daughter down in her own chair and set the stage to introduce her. He flipped his locks back and smiled proudly at his little twin.

“As you clear the luscious green hills after conquering the stampede of trolls, you encounter a lone traveler. Human, state your name and class,” Eddie announced.

“I’m Bonnie Priest, a level one, pala… pala… papa, help, please…” She leaned forward in her chair, kicking her legs aimlessly.

“Paladin,” he whispered.

“Level one paladin!” she cheered. “And I’m ready to defeat Vecna!”

Eddie quietly chuckled as he admired his daughter’s spirits. As she continued with her opening speech, he whispered, “that’s my girl.”

Unfortunately, the night came to an end quicker than usual, as Bobby’s bedtime approached faster than most assumed. Steve entered the basement at eight sharp to collect Bobby and get her ready for bed. With much protest, he managed to get Eddie to wrap up the one-shot and persuade the spawn upstairs.

But as soon as Steve scooped her up in his arms, she was dozing off within seconds. Eddie was left to say goodbye to The Party as Steve was doing Bobby’s nighttime routine. When it came to her bedtime story, she refused to sleep until Eddie read to her.

“Pumpkin, you’ve spent all night with papa—I’ve missed you. We usually have our movie and coloring night tonight. Can’t daddy read you a story to make up for it?”

“But papa does voices,” She pouted.

“I can do voices too. What do you want to read? Just tell me what you want, and if you don’t like it, then I’ll get papa, okay?”

“Okay…”

“What do you want to read?”

“Tell Tale Heart.”

“Again?”

“Yes, again…”

“Alright, I’ll grab it.”

While Steve put in a valiant effort, Bobby still demanded to be read to by Eddie. For days to come, Bobby clung to Eddie more than usual, taking a particular interest in his hobbies.

One day, when Steve was stuck at work, Eddie picked Bobby up from school on his own. He sent her into the den to complete her homework—he was over in the next room plucking his guitar and scribbling down new lyrics. When she was finished, she wandered in and sat at Eddie’s feet.

“Hi, pumpkin,” he smiled.

“Can I play?” she asked.

“You can try,” he chuckled. “It may be a bit too big for you, but go for it.”

He handed the acoustic guitar over to her, sitting behind her to hold it and guide her hands. While her strumming was deafening, Eddie still egged her on, not wanting her to give up on any potential hobbies.

“You know, daddy used to sing to you before you were born,” Eddie said.

“Did he?”

“Oh, yeah, it was horrific.”

“Was it?” Bobby giggled.

“No, it wasn’t bad,” Eddie smiled. “God, he has loved you since day one, pumpkin.”

“You didn’t?” she pouted.

“No, of course I did, but… I dunno… I initially never wanted kids, but daddy? He wanted like five of them. He was so excited when he found out I was pregnant. But me? Lord, I was terrified. I love you more than life itself, Bobbs, but I was so, unbelievably scared at first.”

“That’s okay, papa. Babies are scary.”

“Yes, they are,” he laughed.

“Hello?” Steve called, walking through the front door.

“Hi, honey,” Eddie beamed.

“Hi, daddy!” Bobby cheered, storming the door and attacking him with hugs.

“Oh, bug, it’s only been like eight hours,” he chuckled.

“I love you, daddy.”

“I love you too, pumpkin. What’re you doing? Playing guitar with papa?”

“Mhmm!”

“Learn anything?”

“Not yet.”

“But she’s getting there,” Eddie added. “Just a little more practice and she’ll be a pro.”

The family went about their evening as normal, ending with the boys putting Bobby to bed with a story of her choosing. Once she was sound asleep, they headed back downstairs to tidy up before hitting the hay themselves. As Steve washed the dishes, and Eddie scrubbed the counters, Steve let out a heavy sigh.

“Hey, Eds?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think… have you noticed… uh…”

“Uh? What’s wrong, Stevie?”

“Do you think Bee’s been a bit, I dunno… off lately?”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s just been bouncing from hobby to hobby. A lot more than most kids her age do.”

“So? She’s just curious.”

“No, Eds, what I’m…” Steve trailed off.

“What?”

“I think she has either ADHD or ADD…”

“Why do you say that?”

“Think about it, Eddie. Her grades have been slipping a bit, she had that weird stint with a temper last year, and now she’s trying to take on a million new hobbies at once. Her brain is going a million miles a minute.“

“So? I was that same way when I was a kid.”

“And you graduated high school three years late.”

“Yeah, alright, you make a good point,” he sighed. “What do you want to do about it?”

“I think we should take her to see someone… or at least start with talking to her teachers to see how she’s focusing and participating in class.”

“If you think it’s necessary, then I say let’s go for it. After all, this is your line of work.”

“Sorta.”

“Closer than mine,” Eddie shrugged. “But, Stevie, even if she has ADHD, would you really want her to be on medication so young? I mean, she’s barely seven.”

“I mean, kids can start taking small doses of medication as young as six. There’s a lot of research in this. I think it would be more beneficial to treat her and hopefully benefit her in the long run than to keep her off it.”

“If you say so…”

Several weeks passed and after a lot of conversation with several professionals, Bobby was eventually diagnosed with combined type ADHD. To accommodate both the boy’s wishes, she was initially placed in both behavioral therapy to try and gain control over some of her outbursts, then if that failed, they’d move on to medication.

Bobby wasn’t taking the treatment as well as they boys had hoped. She always threw a fit whenever they brought her in for her weekly appointments. She said that she felt like an outcast—a freak—and that was the last thing Eddie wanted for her.

Steve tried explaining that it was totally normal for some kids needing extra help in school, but she wouldn’t hear any of it. Instead, she barely spoke or even participated in her treatment sessions, so the boys were left with no choice but to start medication.

“I hate this,” Eddie sighed. “I really, really hoped she wouldn’t get any of my bad traits.”

“Bad traits? Ed, honey, it’s not a ‘bad trait’… she just learns a bit differently than others, and that’s okay. It’s normal.”

“She said she feels like a freak, Steve,” he teared up. “I grew up as the freak. Hell, even you, my own husband, used to call me a freak. I never wanted that for her.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a freak, Ed. Hell, I was labeled a ‘King’, and now I’m nothing but a lowly social worker. But you? Eds, you have albums out, you open for huge bands, and you’ve been on tour. There’s worse things to be than a ‘freak’.”

“I guess so,” he sighed. “I just know the feeling and it sucks. Kids are so mean. I just hope no one’s being mean to her at her new school.”

“If they are, then we pull her completely and just home-school her. At least that way you’ll be able to tour again,” Steve teased.

“Pfft, please. I’d rather her stay in school.”

“Why?”

“So she gets socialized and makes friends. At her age, it’s more important than traveling.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Steve took a sip of his coffee before glancing at the time and choking on his gulp. “Shit, we haven’t gotten her up yet. She’s gonna be late.”

“Fuck, I’ll get her. You start breakfast. Go, team, go!”

[theinstagrahame]

💡 A game that inspired my own design or creative practice.

Shall I make this an excuse to talk about The Quiet Year?

Why not?

So, let's set the scene: it's maybe 2017 or 2018. I have discovered D&D through Critical Role, and I am hyperfixating on it. Tabletop RPGs do all the things I wanted out of creative fiction writing, but with all of the stuff that I find tedious about writing fiction creatively. This is quickly becoming my whole personality.

Then (and I'm not even sure how I stumbled upon it) I discover The Quiet Year.

I felt my brain expand. A Game doesn't have to just be A Character who Levels Up and Explores Dungeons forever (or until the campaign collapses due to scheduling conflicts).

It can be a community, growing over the course of a single, contained year. It can be cards, with questions, that could be presented in any order--but are here, presented in the exact order you need to tell this story. It can be a map, which you and your friends label over time, rather than one that has been planned by one Master. It can be Contempt Tokens, which exist simply to remind you that you have harmed or offended another community, and have no further mechanical effect.

... And I didn't actually *play* the game until maybe 2020? My partner got me a physical copy for my birthday one year (probably 2019?), and I eventually managed to find a fellow player. We didn't finish, but it was amazing.

Somewhere between those two points in time, I started designing games of my own. I think The Quiet Year really gave me the idea, for the first time, that it was possible. I didn't have to be Wizards of the Coast to make something, I could just be a person--like Avery Alder--and put my heart into every word.

So like, if you don't already have it, go buy yourself The Quiet Year.

>> TTRPG Ask Game >>

[bluemouseblackpad]

Tag ppl you wanna know betteeer

Tagged by: @somaisbatman

Last song: "Born Under Punches (The Heat Goes On)" by Talking Heads has been my latest major earworm. I just made it the new opening of the playlist I’ve been slowly building for the BBEG of my D&D campaign. “Take a look at these hands! The hands of a government man”

Favorite Color: I genuinely loved the red that @somaisbatman picked but for the sake of individuality I'll say the type of pink/lilac/violet-y color that clouds take on at sunset

Currently Watching: umpteenth rewatch of Twin Peaks: The Return with friends. I also started Nichijou with friends recently, which is hysterical

Last Movie: A few: Rewatched The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover, probably a top 10-or-20 all-timer for me, since I had been thinking about the late great Michael Gambon; Patlabor 2 (without any context for the rest of the franchise), which was really interesting and beautifully animated and made me want to get mechapilled; and The World's Greatest Sinner, a film directed by and starring notorious Hollywood hanger-on Timothy Carey, about the meteoric political rise of a former insurance salesman who wants to empower the American people with immortality. To quote @impish-lion, it is a glimpse into the mind of your father's weirdest friend. He also compared the protagonist to Euron Greyjoy in that he barely registers as a human being, mainlines a Mystery Juice definitely illicit in nature, and fancies himself a god

Currently Reading: Too many books. I'm making my way through The Lord of the Rings for the first time, which, y'know, it's great. Fevre Dream by George R.R. Martin is pretty good so far, and it's interesting to see earlier stages for a lot of ideas that get more fleshing out in ASOIAF. Also by GRRM we have A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, which like LOTR has taken me embarrassingly long to pick up. I'm slowly inching through The Dark Forest by Cixin Liu, which I'm determined to finish because I really liked its predecessor, even if this trilogy is a little out of my usual wheelhouse. Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin is great even if I need to put it down for a few weeks at a time. And lastly Inherent Vice by Thomas Pynchon, at whose midpoint I've been stalled for about a year. I'm loving it, I've just seen the movie so many times, and also as you can see I've got a lot on my plate already lol

Sweet/spicy/savory: Spicy

Relationship status: Single (not working super actively to change this, but I am talking very casually to people on the apps, more to feel Desired than anything. at least one connection seems promising so We Shall See. I just want to kiss cool queer people lol)

Current Obsessions: I'm in a bit of an obsession-rut, barring like, the actually obsessive things I do, i.e. washing my hands over and over lmao. I really want to rewatch the The Terror for Halloween season, that will definitely become an obsession if I do. I've also been playing lots of Baldur's Gate III but I wouldn't say that's at Obsession Status.

Last googled: the release date for Killers of the Flower Moon. I'm busy that weekend :(

Currently working on: My video editing reel. The next arc of my D&D campaign (no idea when I'll actually be running it, but I feel really confident that I've basically got it all mapped out. I've been running it for several years now and much as I'll miss it when it's finished, I am incredibly happy to wrap it up soon lol). I've also taken to writing creatively more in my free time recently which has been nice. EDIT: oh, also my mental health/gender/interpersonal relationships but that’s not Currently so much as Perennially lol

tagging my irl friend @impish-lion even though I know him pretty well. also tagging mutuals @visenyaism/@soupseason, @moss-sprouted and @pigeonz/@melasshai. Nobody do this if you don't want to lol

[puppy-wife]

okokok i have charged up the social batteries and am ready to yap back @ u!!!!!!

so again, ty for such a big answer 😭 i love hearing ppl yap about their special interests, v cool v nice

questions i have are:

why is 3.5e your fave? im only familar with 5e so i dont know much

playing wit tarot cards instead of dice sounds cool af, which game do u do that in?

for ur world building, how do u personally go about starting such a vast project?

as for meee i havent actually played a TTRPG yet 🤓 i have only watched 5e campaigns on youtube so far! but i love the creativity that goes into this stuff & it has become one of my favourite pieces of media to consume

no YOU'RE very cool very nice I love opportunities to talk about my favorite stuff, so I am absolutely super happy lmao

1.) I really liked 3.5e because it gave a lot more variety and ways to make your character unique vs 5e today (don't even get me started on fucking OneD&D or whatever they're calling it. trash). Firstly, back then wizards was making so many books for that edition that you could make any kind of character you wanted to play. They even allowed official material to be printed by other companies!! you want to play the ultimate evil wizard who gives people cancer? that exists. you want to play the perfect necromancer, and maybe even be undead yourself? you can do that. You could build your characters skills to different levels and choose exactly how good you are at certain things. You could take a Flaw, a permanent debuff on your character but in exchange get a Feat! god fucking Prestige Classes!! those were the coolest fucking part of the game, building a character and leveling them up enough to unlock this special class with wild abilities you can't get from a basic class. this isn't to say that 3.5e didn't have its faults, it could be confusing and the math could sometimes really add up. in some ways it needed a bit of streamlining but 5e basically threw a lot of that away in order to streamline everything. If you want a good example but how fluid 3.5e could be, you should play the videogame Neverwinter Nights 1 or 2, the system they use in that game is taken directly from 3.5e. It just made characters feel so mechanically unique that each character felt different. These days it almost feels too formulaic and too streamlined.

2. I honestly don't know what the name of using it is called, anytime me and my friends have done it, we just use the reference book that comes with a tarot deck and spontaneously decide the outcome based on the way the card could be interpreted. For example, let's say you're fighting a monster, and you want to try and escape from the monster, maybe even lure it away from your friends so they can escape. If you drew the Ten of Swords, I would say that would mean that you successfully draw the monster away, but you fall prey to it in the process. or something similar, yanno? but I don't know if that style of playing has a name given to it lol

3. oh I actually had someone ask me that yesterday! I'll send you the post once I find it, I was very active yesterday so it may take me a minute lol

you're so valid for that!! it can be hard to find a good group to play with, every group I've had has kind of fallen into my lap, but also to be fair I am known for being very into ttrpgs lmao

what are your favorite shows/campaigns you've watched? fun fact somewhere out there exists about 30 episodes of a d&d actual play podcast that I DM'd from somewhere around like... 2019? I think? lmao. technically I have a TON of episodes in a backlog somewhere that I never edited but that campaign kind of fell apart and I never finished it.

[twilight-resonance]

Storytelling and Sharing

Once again, here keeping the brain sinkhole at bay. Doing generally better than I was some weeks ago, thank the gods for that. The goal today is to do some writing so that I can scrub my brain clean and focus on planning for D&D with Hearthsnail’s coworkers tomorrow, so that’s what we’re on. Otherwise just the usual general processing etc.

Just finished watching some C-SPAN while playing a game and waiting to warm up so that I can think. Was watching a senate committee hearing on broadband access, and it was interesting watching some actual D-R collaboration going on. The committee chair is Navajo, so there was a lot of looking at parallel obstacles to access between tribes and rural areas. Which is legit. Lots of other things interesting about that conversation, but I was only half-tuned in and I’m not sure I got it all so I’m gonna leave it for now.

Other things we need to do to get my brain going is eat an actual meal (in progress) and warm up (also in progress, though lemme grab my jacket) - then I’ll hopefully be able to actually focus on D&D. The party is at a choice point right now, so I’m working on writing out all three of the possible paths they could choose; a fair amount of work up-front, but will also mean that I don’t need to do planning for a while after this because the choices are very much not mutually exclusive and they can come back to them later. There’s also the chance that they take a completely other fourth path depending on whether they’ve decoded that paper I gave them last session... And depending on what I actually put in there. I don’t actually remember anymore, which makes it, uh, challenging to plan for.

(Oh crap, I was gonna try to make a map today. More things to add time and space for. We’ll get there, I hope.)

I know that I’ve said it before, but this D&D campaign - the one for Hearthsnail’s co-worker - is almost certainly my favorite thing I’m running a the moment. A big part of it is the joy of introducing people to the genre: not only is this their first tabletop RPG, for a few of them this is also their first experience with fantasy and particularly high fantasy as a genera. So there’s a lot of introducing them to the really classic tropes and themes and features, and being able to see them with fresh eyes alongside them. It’s also a lot of fun GMing for a bunch of teachers, in that even if they don’t have the fantasy RPG background, they absolutely have the very clever problem-solving skills and ability to pick up on subtle things going on. That one I also have to keep an eye on - because they’re also picking up on some subtle cues in how I react to and manage things, and I’m going to have to work very carefully to not give things away in tiny ways.

Shit though, man, I think the other big part of what I’m enjoying about running the whole thing is being able to just be who I am in my own skin and not worry about it too much. There aren’t the preexisting politics and traumas that exist is my other gaming spaces, I’m with my actual age-peers who are full adults and can manage themselves, and there are moments when I’m in the middle of running a scene or encounter when I realize that I’m just comfortable and haven’t been self-conscious for an hour and a half. I’m here doing what I love with people who are wonderful, and storytelling and able to share that with people who haven’t gotten to see that side of me and things are just good. So that’s a piece of it as well. 

Anyway, I’m looking forward to tomorrow. Got to finish my planning and make that map, and I’ve got other responsibilities besides after that. I was also going to make some potato skins to bring for snacking on tomorrow, so  that needs to happen too. 

FalJL this weekend was also nice. It was a very rainy event, especially in the afternoon; but all of the players were troopers about it. They were great about keeping each other safe on the field and keeping the equipment covered up once it really started raining, and stayed in good spirits despite the wet and cold. The parents of a pair of my newer players were also incredibly thoughtful and brought both a big easy-up tent space and a tarp to put under it for the inn, so that we had somewhere dry to be. That family also gave me a Christmas present - just a cute little handmade santa ornament, which is now hanging proudly front-and-center on our tree. It was all so incredibly sweet, and I’m glad that as a family they’re getting so much out of this.

It was also nice having more players in general. There were about ten in the morning, which - while, in the grand scheme of things, is still fairly small - it’s been a long time now since I’ve had ten players at once at FalJL. Many left for the afternoon - understandable, given the rain - but even then, we still had about six, which is an improvement by far. 

I’ve been really enjoying the story for FalJL so far this year. I know that I’ve talked before about having rearranged my story pacing for this season, and it’s very much working out for FalJL in particular. So too, being able to use the weather to my advantage; I was realizing over the course of the event that one of the particular qualities/specialties that features in my GMing is being able to respond to and use changes in the weather to enhance a scene, even as they’re happening. There were some cool moments earlier in the day - talking with the Fated Death Cultists, negotiating with a local town and the fey who had taken it over, etc - but it was really the end of the day that was my favorite.

Not to give away too much, but for the last scene of the last mission I was playing Death. It’s important to know that, in my game world, Death comes at sunset - which is to say, we draw from the deathbag at the end of the day. Well, this was just as the rain was picking up; and as the sun was sinking, so it was growing ever-dimmer behind the clouds; and the wind was still, and there was the faintest mist starting to cling to the air. I set myself far away from the party, far across the fields and facing away with them; and all the baddies playing vultures on the first trees skirting the edge of the field between me and the players; and when it was game on, just started - slowly, methodically, calmly - walking away. And oh, it was magical. To say nothing of, watching the players make connections with some other til-then loose threads of things they had learned earlier in the day and earlier in the season; and it was wonderful. So too is that first moment that they work up the courage to come close enough to peek under my hood and see the mask - because they know, somewhere in their hearts before then, that I’m Death; but they’re not sure until they see that first glimpse, and there’s the suspense and the fear and the wonder that comes with the lead-up to it. 

So that was an awesome day. They were also champs about helping me clean all the equipment up as fast as we could to minimize the damp that got into the trailer, and about helping the parents who brought the easy-up take it back down and fold up the tarp without even being asked. My players are great, and I’m so very proud of them. 

Also got to plan for FalAL. We’re out of town for the holidays on the date that would be the normal schedule for it, so I’m running it a weekend-and-a-day early because that is the only time there is to do it in. So that’s one of the things I need to do after planning D&D. Lots of work to do on that front - insert yikes face here - but we’ll get there. I hope.

So that’s all the adventures in my job and GMing and whatnot right now. Actually, that’s a lie - there’s plenty more - but I’m going to pass over those for now and find a handful of things to talk about that aren’t that, for my own health and sanity.

Let’s see. Still reading The Dark Tower, and still enjoying it. Got to the end of a chapter that hit particularly keenly, so I’m going to kind of just sit on that for the day and not go back to it to let it rest. They also finally got whatever rights they need to add Catan to Board Game Arena, so I’ve been playing a fair amount of that in the evenings as well as Plate Up during the day when Hearthsnail’s not home. I don’t know what it is about Plate Up that tickles my brain so good, but it does. Sometimes I fall asleep with the patterns of the game still going in my brain - only once or twice, but still.

Ah - I think the other big obstacle to planning at the moment is actually how messy the house is. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t do the dishes until Hearthsnail takes the garbage out, so things are... a little backed up. All the dishes and kitchen things piled up everywhere is not helping for my focus. I’ll maybe... see what I can do to consolidate that once I’m done writing this, on the off chance that it makes a difference.

Working on holiday gifts for my family and Hearthsnail’s family. We’ve got his sister-and-family’s gifts sorted out for sure, I think; and I have a long list of possibilities for mine, just need to go through them and pick things for settled-true. Also been trying to think of things to put on my own wishlist because people don’t know what to get me and I made that wishlist specifically to help with that, and that’s been its own challenge. 

Yeah, I dunno, I think that’s mostly it. We got a tree last week, finally - a smaller one than in past years - and I’ve been enjoying it as ever. Picked up a tree skirt for it this year. The first night we brought it in, we found out a dragonfly had hitched a ride on it; and somehow clung to the tree through the whole process of cutting it down and driving it home and shaking off all the water from it - until it warmed up enough to wake up and freak out and buzz around the house for a bit. It wasn’t hard to catch - it doesn’t have the same “flee” instinct as, you know, a prey animal would - and after that we tossed it outside to do what it would do. Getting the tree was fun - always is. So’s setting it up. All good things.

That’s about it, I think. Haven’t done much hiking since we got back from Zion; it’s the end of the semester, so Hearthsnail’s had no time for it. He’s already staying late probably every day this week to catch up on grading, so that doesn’t leave much time in the evenings for anything else. We need to cut his hair and stamp some of those wedding invites tonight if we can, but we’ll see how much time we have. All to hope.

Anyway, I’m going to dwindle off for now. Open the curtains, do some tidying up, and maybe play another run of Plate Up before going back to planning. Looking forward to it, at least - just got to get the focus to cooperate. 

[fxckadoodledoomunson]

Lucky At Games, Unlucky In Love [One-Shot]

Summary: You and Eddie have never had the best of luck when it comes to relationships, but what happens when the two of you meet on a double date?

Warnings: swearing, fluff

Eddie never had the best of luck when it came to relationships. Mainly because of his love for Dungeons and Dragons. It started with Michelle. Eddie was supposed to go on a date, but was late because the Hellfire meeting overran. He tried making it up to her. “I’m really sorry,” Eddie began to apologise, while holding a bouquet of flowers. “The meeting got intense and we couldn’t just pause it.” But Michelle wasn’t having any of it. She threw the bouquet at him, before slamming the door in his face and destroying the bouquet.

Then there was Lyndsey. She was nice, but all she wanted to do was make out, and it didn’t help whenever Eddie tried to write his campaign or paint his figurines, or even try and do his homework. Then one day when she kept kissing his face as they sat on the couch, Eddie begged her to stop, as he was trying to write his campaign. “Look, I like affection as much as the next person, but I need to finish this Vecna campaign.” Lyndsey huffed, “Fine! I hope you and Vecna are happy together!” She stormed out of the trailer and never came back.

He thought things would be different when he met Josie. She had joined Hellfire after Spring Break. Not long after, her and Eddie began dating. It was going well...that is until the party lost to Eddie, killing off Josie’s character. “Princess, it’s okay.” Eddie said as he comforted her. “You can still create a new character-“

“No!” Josie sobbed. “I worked really hard on my character!” Although Josie played the game, she didn’t take losing well.

“I quit!”

As she stormed out, Gareth blurted, “And this is why we don’t have girls in Hellfire.”

Erica cleared her throat and glared at Gareth, when Eddie gestured her to hit Gareth, smacking him in the back of the head with her clipboard.

One day, Eddie was doing a deal with Chrissy in the woods. During the exchange, a concerned Chrissy noticed how miserable Eddie was. “Are you okay Eddie?” Chrissy asked. “You don’t seem yourself.” Eddie sighed, before telling her about his failed relationships.

“And I thought Josie was the one. I mean, I had more stuff in common with her than I did with the other girls, but not only did she quit Hellfire, she dumped me, all because I killed off her character.” Eddie groaned, as he hit his head on the picnic table. He then lifted his head up, before saying to her, “Maybe I should just give up on relationships and stay in Wheeler’s basement and play D&D for the rest of my life.”“Come on, Eddie,” Chrissy replied. “There’s somebody out there for you. You just need to keep looking.”

“Yeah, well. Harrington’s dragging me to a double date tonight.” Eddie scoffed, before telling her. “I can’t see that ending well.”

Later that evening, Eddie and Steve were standing outside of Enzo’s, waiting for their dates. “You owe me for this, Harrington,” Eddie said, scratching an itch from the material of the dinner jacket he borrowed from Steve.

“Just remember not to talk about Dungeons and Dragons so much,” Steve told him.

Eddie kept pulling the back of the collar when Steve told him, “Hey! Quit pulling it.”

“Seriously, Steve. What material is this shit?” Eddie huffed as he sorted out his low bun.

Before he could respond, you and your cousin, Carly came around the corner. Carly waved at Steve, whom she had set you up with.“Remember, don’t talk about video games, and don���t play with your handheld when you go to the bathroom...actually, just don’t play with it at all,” Carly told you.

“As long as you don’t flirt too much with your date,” you retorted.

“Fine.”

“I swear, if my date leaves me with the bill or sticks his tongue down my throat, I’ll kick off,” you told her.

You haven’t had the best of luck when it came to dating. Mainly because your love for video games. Your friends had set you up on a few dates and most of them ended badly.

First there was Ethan. All he did was talk about himself. He talked so much that you nearly fell asleep during the date. At one point, you had to tell him that you needed to use the restroom, but really, you just wanted five minutes peace to play on your Game & Watch. Then five minutes turned to half an hour. By the time you rushed back, you were left with a hefty bill, which resulted in you staying in the restaurant and wash the dishes so you could pay back what you and Ethan owed.

Then there was Declan. Wasn’t very talkative, but when you started talking about the latest video game, wanting to hear his thoughts about it, he just stuck his tongue down your throat. Your first instinct was to kick him in the shins.

You thought things would be different with Micky. He loved videos games as well, which was perfect, because you didn’t have to worry about talking about gaming constantly. On your second date with him, you went to the arcade. The date went well until you had beaten his high score on Dig Dug, as well as the other games you both played. After your date, you asked him, “So, what do you want to do next time?”

“Nothing,” Micky coldly replied. “I don’t think things are gonna work between us.”

“Why not? I thought things were going great between us.”

“They were, but...”

“But what?”

“I can’t date a girl who keeps beating me at videos games.”

You glared at him, as you told him, while walking away from him, “Fine. Your loss.”

“Hi!” Carly greeted them, as you silently waved at them.

Carly introduced you to Steve.

He gave you a peck on the cheek as he shook your hand. As he let go of your hand, Steve began to introduce Eddie to you both. “This is my friend Eddie.”

As Eddie shook yours and Carly’s hand, you couldn’t help thinking about how handsome he was. Not that you didn’t think Steve wasn’t good looking, but there was just something about Eddie that caught your eye.

“So, shall we go inside?” Steve asked, before you all went inside. Steve went through the door first when Eddie held it for you and Carly.“Thank you,” you said to Eddie, as you smiled at him.

“You’re welcome, Milady,” Eddie replied, as you went inside, with him following you. After Steve asked for a table for the four of you, the waitress grabbed some menus and asked you to follow her. As you made your way to the table, you heard a female voice calling out Eddie’s name.

“Hey Chrissy,” Eddie replied, waving at Chrissy, who was sitting with Jason.

You noticed Chrissy gave him the thumbs up as the four of you got to your table.

You wanted to say that the date was going well, but it was no better than your previous dates. Steve was a nice guy, and it was going well, until he started mentioning his ex girlfriend, Nancy. Every time you talked about something, Steve would mention her. For instance, you talked about an upcoming Tom Cruise movie, something that your cousin told you to talk about. After mentioning it, Steve started going on about the time when he and Nancy dressed up as the main characters from Risky Business. As you tried to listen to him, you turned to Carly, who was twirling her hair, as she blatantly flirted with Eddie. However, you noticed that Eddie was busy scratching his neck to notice the flirting. “Sorry, this jacket’s irritating me,” Eddie said to Carly, as he was about to grab a fork to scratch the itch, which grossed Carly and Steve out.

“I’ve got some cream if you need it,” you told him, stopping him from using the fork, before you grabbed your bag from the floor. Eddie thanked you, as you took out a few bits, including your handheld until you found what you were looking for. You passed him the tube of Aloe Vera cream, before putting everything back in your bag. For a split second, you almost forgot to put your handheld away. You quickly put in your bag, before Eddie gave the cream back to you after applying it to his itchy skin. As you put it back, Steve, who noticed the handheld before, began to ask you, “So, uh...you like video games?”

“Yeah, I’m currently playing Donkey Kong.” You replied enthusiastically. “But Dungeons and Dragons is one of my-Ow!”

You felt something kick your leg. You realised that Carly was the one who kicked you, as you saw her shaking her head. You cleared your throat, telling him coolly, “Yeah, I...I like them.”

“Wait,” Eddie began to speak with his mouth full. He swallowed his food, before asking you. “Did you just say Dungeons and Dragons?” You nodded, before telling him. “It’s one of my favourite electronic games.”

“I’ve got the handheld too. It’s pretty good, but you can’t beat the good old tabletop game.”

“I’ve never played the actual tabletop game before.”

“Well, we have a club for D&D called Hellfire...”

“Here we go.” Steve muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes, as Eddie explained to you about Hellfire.

“You should come and play with us sometime,” Eddie continued to speak.

“Yeah, I’ll definitely consider it,” you told him.

Throughout the date, you and Eddie kept talking about Dungeons and Dragons, as well as games and music, even talking about his band, Corroded Coffin. The two of you spoke for such a long time that you didn’t notice that Carly and Steve were no longer at the table.“Where did they go?” Eddie asked.

“I’ll check in the bathroom for Carly,” you replied. “I’ll see if Steve’s around too.” You quickly got up and went to the bathroom.

You called out her name as you checked the cubicles, when you opened one door and caught Carly and Steve making out.

“Woah!” You exclaimed, turning around and covering your eyes. “Woah, okay.”

As Carly and Steve composed themselves, you said, as you were walking out, “Don’t mind me, you two carry on.”

You tittered as you made your way to your table. As you sat down, Eddie looked around, while eating some garlic bread. “Where are they?” He asked with his mouth full.

“Let’s just say, they’re...preoccupied right now.” You snickered.

Eddie started choking on his bread, hearing what you said.

“Sorry,” you apologised, as you poured a glass of water for him. Eddie silently shook his head, before taking a sip. He caught his breath, before telling you, “It’s okay, sweetheart.”He then cleared his throat, before asking you, “When you say ‘preoccupied’, you...?”

“They’re making out in the bathroom.”

Eddie blinked before replying, “Shit, that’s awkward. Both our dates ditching us to make out.”

“It doesn’t bother me to be honest,” you confessed. “I didn’t even want to go on this date in the first place.”

“Wait? You didn’t want to go on this date either?”

“No,” you giggled whilst shaking your head. “Carly forced me to go on this date.”

“I get it,” Eddie guffawed, “Harrington practically dragged me to this date.”

The pair of you laughed, before Eddie looked around and asked you, “Hey, um...Do you want a ride home?”

“What? And ditch them?” You asked.

“Well, they ditched us first.”

“True,” you laughed, before telling him, “Yeah, thanks.”

You both got out of your chairs, before Eddie took off his dinner jacket, leaving it behind on the chair. You began walking to the door when Eddie opened it for you, letting you leave first. On the way home, you and Eddie were talking about your previous relationships. “Seriously? I can’t believe the guy got pissed off because you beat him at some games,” Eddie told you.

“I still can’t get over the fact that the last girl you were with dumped you for killing off her character,” you replied. “It’s not like you sacrificed her cat or something.”

A moment later, you both had reached your house. “Thanks for the lift,” you said, as you took out your house key from your bag.“Anytime Sweetheart,” Eddie replied. “I’ll let you out.”

Eddie got out of the van and opened the door for you.After he helped getting you down, he made his way back to the driver’s seat when you asked him, “Hey! Do you want to come in and hang out for a bit? Maybe play a couple of games or you could teach me how to play Dungeons and Dragons properly?”

Eddie grinned at you, replying, “Yeah, sure.”

You smiled as you both walked to your door.

Ever since that night, you two became good friends. Eddie taught you how to play Dungeons and Dragons, and you would join the Hellfire meetings from time to time when you weren’t working. He even accompanied you to the arcade. He would often take the younger Hellfire members, as well as his neighbour, Max there, but he had an excuse to stay and play with you. The boys would often tease their Dungeon Master when he played with you. Once, you and Eddie were playing Space Invaders, and he kept tickling you while you were beating him. “Eddie! That’s cheating!” You cackled, as he continued to tickle you, while back hugging you.

“If you really want to distract her, just kiss her,” Dustin chuckled as he stood next to Max, who was in the middle of playing Dig Dug.

“Don’t put ideas into his head, Dustin,” you told him as Eddie had let go of you, before you continued to play the game.

During those two months, you enjoyed each other’s company, even if Eddie was just writing a campaign and you were playing on your Game & Watch, while you both talked about various things, including Eddie’s upcoming gigs as well as your work.

One day, you were sitting on your bed, playing your Dungeons and Dragons handheld game when Eddie had put down his campaign book, asking you, “Can I have a go now?”

“In a minute,” you replied, concentrating on the maze.

“Oh come on, you said that half an hour ago,” Eddie whined.

“You can play one of my other handhelds if you need a break from campaign writing.”

You were focusing on the game when Eddie started tickling you, making you squeal.

“Eddie, no! Let me finish and then you can have it!” You both chuckled, as Eddie tackled you on the bed.

You moved your handheld away so he couldn’t grab it, when suddenly, Eddie fell on top of you. Your laughters died down, as Eddie moved his head to face you. You both gazed at each other when Eddie leaned down to kiss you. At first, it took you by surprise. But, you shut your eyes, letting him carry on kissing you. You were so deep into the kiss, that you didn’t notice Eddie moving his hands up to yours, reaching for your game. As he got hold of the game, he broke off the kiss, and gave you a smug smile, before getting up with the game in his hand.

“You-“ You began to speak. But you stopped and giggled. As Eddie triumphantly continued to play the game, you grabbed one of your other games and started playing it. However, after that kiss, you couldn’t focus on playing.

A couple of weeks had passed since that kiss. You noticed that Eddie didn’t touch you anymore. You wanted to know why. You also wanted to know why he kissed you, if he did it just to get to your game or if there was something more, but you never had a chance to. Until one day, when you were hanging out with Eddie at his trailer. He was sitting at his desk, painting one of his figurines while you were sitting on his bed, playing Donkey Kong. However, you couldn’t concentrate on the game.You had put down the handheld and rubbed your eyes, when Eddie turned around to look at you, noticing that you weren’t playing.“You okay, sweetheart?” He asked with a concerned look on his face. You nodded, before replying, “Yeah, I’m just bored of playing I guess.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows, as he said, “You? Bored of playing games? That’s not like you. You haven’t been possessed by the Mind Flayer, have you?” Eddie chuckled, when he noticed your vacant expression. He got off his chair and squatted in front of you, feeling your forehead to check your temperature, “You’re not getting sick, are you?” He asked.

“No, I’m not,” you replied, as you gently moved his hand away.

“Well...” He cleared his throat before asking you. “Do you...want to help me paint? Or, I can read you some of my new material for my campaign-“

“Why did you kiss me?” You interjected.

Eddie silently gazed at you, before asking you, “What?”

“A couple of weeks ago, you kissed me. Why?”

“Well because I...” Eddie bit his lip, and stood up, before he sat back on his chair. He sighed, before replying, “I don’t know.”

He turned back to his figurines, when you replied, “What? You don’t know?”

You huffed, before continuing to speak, “Eddie, you don’t kiss someone and say you don’t know. I’m not sure if you did it to distract me or if you wanted to. These past two weeks I’ve been feeling so confused. You don’t even hug or touch me anymore.”

Eddie winced as you continued to ask him, “I mean, what are we exactly?”

“We’re friends,” Eddie coldly, without looking at you. “Just friends.”

You felt your heart break, as you quietly repeated, “Just friends?”

You tearfully gazed at him, watching him paint one of the figurines. Eddie sighed, as he continued to paint when he heard the front door slam. He turned to the bed, finding you’ve left. There was nothing left of you in his room, except your game. He got up from his chair and walked over to the bed, picking up the handheld. He groaned, as he asked himself, “Jesus Munson, why couldn’t you just tell her?”

A moment later, you entered your home, and dropped your bag on the floor. You were wiping your tears when you were startled by Carly and Steve, who were in sitting in the living room, watching a movie. They both turned to greet you when Carly asked, “Are you okay?” You silently ran upstairs and ran into your room.

“I’ll go and check on her,” Carly told Steve, as she lightly patted his thigh. Carly got up and was halfway up the stairs when the bell rang. She went back down the stairs and opened the door, finding Eddie standing outside, with the handheld in his hand. He asked her if you were in. Carly folded her arms, replying, “She’s just come in. In tears.”

A guilty Eddie bit his lip, as she asked him, “Did it have something to do with you?”

“I need to see her.”

“Maybe she doesn’t want to see you-“

“Please...just let me talk to her.”

Carly sighed, before telling him, “You know where her room is.”

Eddie thanked her, as he ran upstairs. When he reached your door, he gently knocked on it, before opening it when he heard you say, “Leave me alone, Carly. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Eddie looked around the room, seeing where your voice was coming from. “Sweetheart?” He called out.

You poked your head up from the other side of bed, wiping your tears. “What you doing here?” You asked.

Eddie waved his hand, holding the handheld as he replied. “You left it on my bed.”

You turned away from him, resting your chin on your knees, when you heard the bed squeak. Eddie sat down on the end of the bed, as he placed your handheld on it, nearer to you, before apologising, “I’m sorry for what I said, sweetheart.”

“What, for saying that we’re just friends?” You retorted. “That’s all we are, right?”

“We are, but...I don’t want us to be just friends. I wanted to be more than that.”

Your eyes widened, as you turned to him. “What?”

Eddie sighed, as he sat on the floor next to you before confessing, “I don’t know what came over me that day. It just...happened. At first, I did it to distract you so I could grab your game. But ever since then, I haven’t stopped thinking about you. I wanted to say something before, but-“

Eddie paused as you silently gazed at him. He sighed, as he scratched his head before telling you, “We both know that we haven’t had the best of luck when it comes to dating, and knowing that I’m falling in love with you, it scares the shit out of me, because I didn’t want to ruin what we have. I just...” Eddie huffed, before confessing, “I don’t want to lose you.”

You started to process what he had confessed, when Eddie suddenly got up from the floor, as he told you, “I’ll see myself out.” Eddie walked up to the door and put his hand on the handle, when you got up off the floor and called out, “Eddie, wait!”

Eddie turned to face you, when you rushed up to him. You then cupped his face and passionately kissed him. Eddie gasped, as you moved your hands to wrap your arms around his neck. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around your waist, as he reciprocated. You moved backwards whilst kissing him, bringing him to your bed. You laid back on the bed while Eddie straddled you, as he deepened the kiss when he accidentally kicked your handheld off the bed. You both broke off the kiss, looking where the handheld landed. “Shit,” Eddie muttered, before telling you as he was about to get off the bed, “Sorry, I’ll go and get it-“

“No no, leave it,” you panted, as you cupped his face again, pulling him in for another kiss. Eddie spun you, so that you were on top of him. You both moaned as you continued to kiss. You were so lost in the kiss that you didn’t listen to Carly calling for you, “Are you okay in there? I heard crashing-Oh!”

You and Eddie broke off the kiss, looking over to your door, seeing Carly standing in the doorway, with her head turned away from you both. Carly cleared her throat, before asking, “I take it that you two have reconciled?”

You buried your face into Eddie’s neck, trying to hold back your laughter. “I’ll leave you guys alone,” Carly told you, before leaving your room, closing the door behind her. After she left, you and Eddie giggled for a moment, before Eddie softly asked you, “So, where were we?” You giggled, before he leaned towards you to kiss you again.

After that day, you and Eddie had decided to give the relationship a try. You still hung out like normal, but you were able to kiss whenever you wanted, as long as you weren’t distracting Eddie from his campaign writing. The same applied to Eddie so he wouldn’t distract your game playing. You even had arranged date nights playing Dungeons and Dragons. There had been times that Eddie would kill off your characters during your D&D dates. However, that didn’t make you love him less. “I’m starting to run out of character ideas. At this rate, you’ll end up dating Tiamat,” you joked as you wrote on your character sheet, while sitting on Eddie’s lap, as he kept kissing your shoulder and neck. There were even times when you had beaten him at various video games, Eddie would bow down to you, constantly praising you, “How can a guy be proud of his girlfriend beating him at a video game?” You both heard Keith say, as he walked past you both at the arcade one time. You both brushed off the comment, as you both carried on playing Dragon’s Lair.

Even when Eddie was late for your dinner dates, due to the Hellfire meetings overrunning, you were never mad at him. “Sweetheart, I am so sorry that the meeting overran,” Eddie apologised, as he came inside your house one time, holding a bouquet in his hand. “I should’ve called you-“ You smiled and silenced him by kissing him. After you pulled away, you took the bouquet from him, thanking him for them. “I just need to boil the vegetables and then I can dish the dinner up,” you told him, before finding a vase for the flowers.

After you filled the vase with water and added the flowers, you placed it on the table and made your way back to kitchen to started boiling the vegetables. You were getting the plates and cutlery ready when you felt Eddie’s arms around your waist, hugging you from the back. You smiled, as you felt Eddie resting his chin on your shoulder, hearing him say softly, “How did I get so lucky?”

You softly chuckled, “You ask me that every time, Eddie.” You both laughed before you turned to him to give him a tender kiss. You turned your attention back to the vegetables, as you asked him, “Can you help set the table for me please?”

“Anything for you, sweetheart,” Eddie replied, as he leaned forward to kiss you, before grabbing the cutlery.

After you had finished dinner, Eddie offered to do the washing up, After he had finished washing, drying and putting everything away in the cupboards and drawers, you grabbed a D20 dice from the table and gave to him. “Okay, Eddie the Banished. Roll for a dessert,” you told him.

Eddie chuckled, as he shook the dice in his hand and threw it on the counter. The dice fell onto the floor and slowly stopped rolling. You kneeled down and checked what he had rolled. You looked up and smiled, as you told him, “Twenty.”

You picked up the dice, and stood up, as you asked a gloating Eddie, “So, what do you fancy for dessert tonight?”

“Well, there’s something...” Eddie cheekily began to reply, before he leaned forward and hungrily kissed you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, when he grabbed your buttocks, lifting you up. You squealed as Eddie carried you upstairs, taking you to your room.

Almost four years later, the two of you were still together. Every year on your anniversary, you and Eddie would have dinner at Enzo’s, something that he would save up money for. However, he had decided to take you there a couple of months earlier than your actual anniversary. “Eddie, this is lovely, but you do realise that our anniversary isn’t for another two months, right?” You asked him, as you both were having your meal.

“I know, sweetheart,” Eddie replied. “But I thought we could celebrate something else.”

You gasped, before asking him, “Did Corroded Coffin finally get a record deal?”

“I wish,” Eddie chuckled, before replying, “Nah, it’s actually four years since we first met. Do you remember?”

“How could I forget?” You giggled. “It seemed like only yesterday that I caught Carly and Steve making out in the ladies.”

Eddie chuckled, before telling you, “Yeah, but if they hadn’t ditched us, I wouldn’t have got to know you more.”

“True.”

You smiled, as a nervous Eddie asked, “Sweetheart, you know that every year since we got together, that I would save up for us to come here and you would save up for our vacations?”

“Yeah?” You looked at Eddie with confusion, when Eddie confessed, “Well...this wasn’t the only thing that I saved up for.”

Eddie rummaged through his jacket pocket and took out a small jewellery box, as he got up from his chair and suddenly got down on one knee.

“Holy shit,” you gasped, as you clapped your hand on your mouth, trying not to cry.

Eddie said your full name, while he opened up the box, revealing a diamond ring inside, before he asked you, “Will you marry me?”

You sobbed, as you nodded. “Yes, I will.” You leaned forward to kiss Eddie, as you heard other customers in the restaurant clap and cheer for you both.

You and Eddie never had the best of luck when it came to dating other people, but your luck had definitely changed after finding each other.

[eddies-freak]

eddie takes care of sick!fem!reader

Summary: You’ve caught the flu, Eddie takes care of you. <3

Warnings: Food, Sickness (flu), Throwing up; Pure fluff!

Word Count: 1.1k 

You’ve just gotten off a long day at work, running around delivering coffee and lunch and papers all about the offices of the Hawkins Post. You had a horrible headache that was pounding and grinding and making it impossible to think, so you’d told Tom you were having “lady issues” and needed to go home. Parking your car in the gravel in front of Eddie’s trailer, you get out and jiggle your key in the door until finally it gives way and opens. Inside you find Eddie at the stove in a black Dio shirt and some plaid pajama pants, looking over his shoulder at you when he hears you come in. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says, stirring the pot. “I was just heating up some soup, you want some?” 

“Sure, thanks Eds. I’ve got a horrible headache so I’m gonna take some Tylenol. How was your day off?” 

“Pretty good, actually! Planned out the D&D campaign for the next couple weeks, the boys are gonna love it.” Even though it was the summer, the Hellfire club had still been meeting every Thursday. Eddie would get off work at the shop early to meet everyone at Mike’s house and play part of a campaign. 

Eddie made his way over to you, tenderly snaking his hands around your waist. “But it would’ve been better with you here, y’know,” he added softly, before pressing his lips to yours in a gentle kiss. 

“Is that your way of saying you missed me?” you ask, pulling your lips apart. He thought for a minute, furrowing his brow. 

“Well, yeah, I guess it is,” he finally said, with a wide smile on his face. 

“Aw, I’m glad. Going-” You started feeling lightheaded all of a sudden, queasy and sweaty all over. 

“Hm?” Eddie said, concerned look on his face. 

“I feel so hot.” Your own voice sounded far away, spots clouded your vision. Eddie pressed the back of his hand to your forehead. 

“Jesus, y/n, you’re burning up.” But you were already slipping away, as your entire world faded to black. 

---

When you woke up, you were in Eddie’s bed, on your back. You looked down to find nothing but your bra on, plus some of Eddie’s boxers. Your head was pounding, and you let out a small groan of pain. There was a towel on your forehead and you flipped it over, sighing with relief as the coldness consumed you. 

You were still hot and sweaty, going in and out, hot and cold. Your limbs felt like lead and your throat was so parched you couldn’t speak. What had happened last night? you wondered. Then you remembered: not a full memory, just flashes. You had fainted. Eddie had carried you in here and helped you change your clothes. Everything was hazy, you couldn’t remember the details. Suddenly, Eddie burst through the door, stopping when he saw you awake. 

“Hey,” you managed to rasp out, sitting up. 

“No no no, sweetheart, lay back down. That’s it. And don’t talk either, we don’t want to hurt your throat more. Take this,” he said, handing you a glass of water and some medication. “Drink the whole glass, there you go. Quite a time we had, yeah? You need to drink as much water as you can, you’re going to be super dehydrated after all of that.” 

You pointed to your throat, indicating to him that he had told you not to talk. 

“Oh, shit! Sorry.” He got up and took something off his dresser, which you discovered was a pad of paper and a sharpie. 

I don’t remember what happened, you wrote. Eddie chuckled. 

What could it be? you wondered. Eddie laughed harder. 

Tell me!!, you wrote furiously, adding an extra exclamation point. It can’t be that funny, you thought. 

“Well,” Eddie started, after he had recovered from his temporary distraction. “First of all, you fainted…” You raised your eyebrows. “...and then you threw up all over me and the kitchen. By the time we got to the bathroom you had already puked it all out,” he finished, giggling again. 

“Oh my go-” you started, but Eddie’s hand clasped over your mouth, his other hand pointing at the pad of paper. 

I’m so so so so sorry, Eds., you wrote, flipping the pad around to show him. He responded by placing a tender kiss to your forehead. “It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s already been taken care of. My Dio shirt, on the other hand…” he sighed. “Never gonna smell the same.” You hit him on the shoulder, making him laugh. 

He stood up and took the sharpie and paper from your hand, putting it on the bedside table. “Okay, try to get some rest y/n. You need it,” he said, leaning over kissing you on the forehead again. 

He meant to leave the room, but you caught his arm before he got too far from your side. Shaking your head, you pointed down with the other hand. “You… want me to stay?” he asked. Ding ding ding, you would’ve said, if it weren’t for your throat, but mainly if it weren’t for the look in his eyes. He looked… soft. Vulnerable. As if he didn’t believe your “words.” As if he didn’t fully believe you were right there in front of him, someone who loved him and wanted his company. 

You nodded.

“I-uh-” he struggled for words. “Okay, sweetheart, sure,” he finally managed to choke out. 

You pointed to your eye, then made a heart with your hands, then pointed at him. I love you. He made his way toward you, kissing you firmly on the lips. When you tried to pull away, not wanting to get him sick, he said “I don’t care,” and continued with the kiss. It felt like it had been years since he had kissed you, and it almost made you think he had cured you of your illness by doing just that. Pulling away finally, stroking your cheek with his thumb, he said, “I love you too, y/n.” 

He grabbed a book off of his nightstand, crawled over to the other side of the bed, and you curled into him. Holding the book with one hand and stroking your arm with the other, he began to read. “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit…”

i hope you guys enjoyed reading this!! i had fun writing it, and i might make a part two! let me know if you guys would be interested in that

<3

as always, asks are open! currently writing for eddie but if you have another specific request i might consider, so shoot your shot. :)

[eddieslittlefreak]

midnights songs as steddie headcanons pt.2

note: here is part 2 of my previous post and i adore writing this stuff. maybe i should make this as a serious just with other album songs. for example the whole reputation album could be them

Mastermind: Eddie is in school for a long time now as we know, because he always fails some classes. But it’s more than obvious he isn’t stupid, this shit just doesn’t interest him. So when Steve gets to know him a little better, he is more than amazed. At first it takes him like a bullet, when he sees Eddie playing the guitar and doing the most epic solos ever. He knew he has a band, but he definitely didn’t know that he was this talented. Eddie learns some of Steve’s favorite songs and thanks to this, he gets better at playing on  acoustic guitar as well. The next thing is D&D. It’s a nerdy game, Steve thought for a long-long time, but he knew nothing about the process of making a campaign. It literally shocks him how Eddie can sit for hours on the side of his bed, tongue poking out in concentration as he plans the campaign for Hellfire club. And Steve feels like he can’t even blink as he watches him and listens to the little things he murmurs to himself. How he builds up a whole story, and connecting every tiny dot to make sense. Steve gets a headache just from hearing that much information and somehow Eddie effortlessly manages to keep everything in mind, and even randomly adds things. Eddie never had anyone to play with as kid, so he sat in his room and planned his whole life. Maybe that’s why it wasn’t an accident that Steve and him became that close as they are. He had all the time in the world to make up stories and try to teach himself how to read or write, using all of his energy. He was still called stupid and a weirdo, but he never cared. He knew what’s in him and that’s all that mattered to him. Eddie has loads of special interests and he uses these to figure out things. For example, in a difficult situation he acts like he is in one of his favorite novels as one of the characters who needs to solve the situation. From him, the biggest compliment is if he says you remind him of one of these interests. That’s when all of this hits Steve, when Eddie says he reminded him of Ozzy. Ever since then Steve wants to study every little thing about Eddie and wants to know everything that happens in that wonderful mind of his.

Anti-Hero (Eddie’s Version): Eddie took shit from others in all of his life. He was just watching everyone going so good in life, while in every moment he felt like he is losing his mind. So he got used to it. But truly he never escaped that dark corner of his mind where sometimes he sank back to. He seemed fine, but just like everyone does, he has a breaking point, too. His breaking point is cracking slowly as things starting to take a drastic turn after Chrissy’s death. Not even his own mind is safe anymore. All he can think about is how he ran away, how he could do nothing to save her. He had some self-image issues before, but now his demons seem to tear him apart. Then Steve appears. He remembers him, of course he does. His friends used to bully him, but Steve is nothing like he was back then. He is a hero, actually. At least Eddie thinks this and suddenly around Steve he feels a bit better. It’s like he quiets everything in his head. And then there they are, Steve telling them not to be heroes. Eddie was never a hero, he was too coward to be one. It hurts him, making him feel like a hundred daggers are stabbing him in every moment, but he knows it’s true. Unless.. it’s not anymore. Dustin screams after him, but he just stares into the darkness of the trailer, hearing how the demobats will break the door in a minute and he just can’t leave. He can’t runaway again, his body just won’t move. He swallows and goes back, becuase so far everyone - including him - was rooting for an anti-hero. And now he wanna become someone who worths the effort. He goes back.. (let me just finish it here, it hurted to write this </3 ) Another scenarios is that when Eddie and Steve start dating, Eddie feels like re is ruining everything for Steve. That he is the problem, no matter how hard Steve tries to convince him othervise. This is his biggest insecurity that sometimes shows up with a heart stopping wave of strenght. Steve can’t even imagine what could have Eddie gone through that makes him think such a thing. And it’s so rare, when Eddie showes this concern of his, but when he does, just goes silent for minutes between sentences, where Steve just pulls him closer, massaging the back of his neck, whispering; you aren’t the problem. People are shitty, yeah? You don’t ruin anything. - And less to say, it takes Eddie a bit of a time to actually process and take this.

Bigger Than The Whole Sky (another angst, don’t worry, Sweet Nothing is coming up right after for some comfort): This happens, if Steve was there with Eddie at the end. Steve falls onto his knees next to Eddie. He doesn’t even know how to touch him without hurting him even more, so he tries to be so gentle. He talks so fast, his tongue trips on the words, because he wants Eddie to know everything before he’s gone. And gosh, Steve is crying. He can barely see Eddie’s pain colored face, because of his tears are making his vision blurry. He’s just holding into Eddie’s ripped clothes, murmuring the words to him, while Eddie is weakly smiling. Gosh, he still adores Steve. The weight of this situation doesn’t change a single thing. “Steve?” he speaks, voice small. “Yeah, Eddie?” Steve sobs, trying to keep the remaining of himself together. “I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough to tell you, that I liked you. That I liked the cool Steve Harrington.” he weakly chuckles, his lungs giving up. And Steve wants to talk, he wants to tell Eddie that everything is gonna be fine and maybe they could go out sometimes when they get back. That he will get to the hospital and he will be fine in a few weeks. But he knows. “You were the breavest today, Eddie.” he says instead, not ready to say goodbye. His throat burning because he has a lot more to say and suddenly he wanna tells everything in the world’s all and every languages, but he knows he doesn’t have much time left. For him, Eddie became more than just a short time, and the grief is gonna be even longer. Steve’s days after are black and white. He is just a shadow of himself for a while. He can’t stop wondering about what could have happened if he gets to know more Eddie a bit sooner. If he wasn’t that much of an asshole in high school. His emotions are bigger than the whole sky and stronger than a forest fire. Sometimes he stands in front of his mirror, staring at his scars on his torso, knowing very well that these wounds killed Eddie. He bites his lip and closes his eyes.  He thinks that it’s should have been him and not Eddie.

Sweet Nothing (imagine i’m putting a bandage on our stab wounds now): Okay so after a while, Eddie and Steve gets an apartmant together in a big big city. They are both excited because everything is so new. It’s the fascination of getting lost in these things. How they’re starting to have a routine for every day. How they start to know their house better and better, their stuff and love everywhere, turning the whole place into a home. They get jobs and a cat which Eddie names something absolutely ridicilous. Steve gets to choose the channel on every Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday, but in the car he can always play his music. When they get home from shopping on Fridays, Eddie needs to take out the key from Steve’s pocket, because Steve’s hands are full with bags and stuff they don’t even need, but it’s cool so Eddie needed to buy it. Steve’s favorites are the Saturday nights when he lies next to Eddie while he writes new songs, trying to get into the music industry. He even starts to play on the streets and people seem to really like him. Eddie paints their bedroom wall and he is allowed to draw on it, making literal artworks, so when he isn’t there, Steve can’t help but stare at them. They even have a little balcony where Eddie has plants. He never knew he would be into gardening, but he adores petting the little leaves and watering them every morning. They drink their coffees here as well, and their favorites are the colder summer mornings, looking down at the city waking up and getting filled with noise. Their favorite restaurant is around the corner where they spend their anniversary every year. They get to know loads of new people, but how could they forget about their good old friends? In every six months, everyone comes over to a sleeping party at their places, so there are people everywhere. Sleeping on the couch, the floor, a matress, wherever they can. It makes them feel like they are back in Hawkins and they are just young, careless teens.  And when Eddie can’t sleep because sometimes, really rarely he still have some nightmares (Steve overcame this luckily), Steve rocks him in their bed, maybe making him some midnight snacks or going out to the balcony. They have a small swing bed there where Eddie can sit close to Steve while Steve tells him about their future and how many things are still ahead of them that they need to try. So eventually, when Steve finishes talking, all he can hear is Eddie’s little snores and him dreaming about the stuff he talked about to him.

[c-is-for-circinate]

More of the Untamed modern AU D&D thing! (Oh lord there's so much D&D in this one. This might actually be easier to follow if you don't know the Untamed than if you don't at least a little bit know D&D.) (On the other hand, if you know zero things about D&D, you are at least in the same boat as Lan Zhan, so there's that. Poor, poor Lan Zhan.)

Pre-Wangxian, starring the Yunmeng Trio knowing each other very very well, Jin Zixuan being an awkward disaster, and Nie Huaisang not getting paid nearly enough to play therapist at the D&D table, plus bonus Lan Zhan refusing to have a panic attack about not knowing what a tiefling is.

-------------------------

"So," Nie Huaisang says, folding his hands over his source manual and smiling in the friendly, cheerful way that he knows only strikes terror into the hearts of his veteran players, so far. "Let's talk about your character concept."

.

Lan Zhan had read the full Lord of the Rings trilogy, once, in high school, ceeding to the argument that it seemed to be a Western cultural touchstone that would elucidate the bulk of the modern Western fantasy genre. It meant that he had slightly more than no context whatsoever, which he supposed was better than nothing.

"And so last you heard, the increasing giant attacks were being kept at bay in the northwest by the mysterious sorcerers controlled by the Meishan Dynasty, nobody has heard from the northern centaurs of the Tianma Dynasty in the past two years, and as far as anyone knows, the empty streets of Nevernight City still lie undisturbed by any living thing, waiting for the rise of the next emperor to try and claim dominion over all fifteen dynasties," Nie Huaisang finished. Lan Zhan...did not know what to do, as it turned out, with that many mismatched and inexplicable references to Chinese history and mythology, mixed in with that many poorly-jumbled bits of Western fantasy and things he didn't recognize.

"So!" Nie Huaisang said. "Now that we all know what's going on in the campaign, what do you two want to play?"

Lan Zhan did not begin to know how to express just how much of an overstatement that sentence was.

"We need a healer," Jiang Cheng said flatly, fixing Jin Zixuan with a gimlet stare. "You can fill in and play healer for us, right?"

"I -- I mean, I can--" Jin Zixuan stuttered slightly, and Lan Zhan would be full of sympathy if he weren't currently hyperfocused both on the fact that Wei Ying's arm was approximately six millimeters away from his own on the table, and his creeping, gut-sinking panic over not having any idea what a "tiefling" was.

"Of course he can," Wei Ying said, grinning in a way that showed all of his teeth but did not, somehow, seem to be friendly at all. "Otherwise Huaisang will have to go easy on us to make up for us not having a healer, and we don't want to need Huaisang to go easy on us, do we?"

"No?"

"I mean, I don't know if I could go easy on you..."

Lan Zhan cleared his throat. 'Healer' at least seemed like a self-explanatory group role, surely. If he had a specific task then maybe this would start to make sense. "I could play healer."

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying's attention was entirely on him again. Lan Zhan had no idea why he'd invited that hell back onto himself. He was going to do it again and again. "You don't have to do that, it's your first time playing! You should get to play whatever class you want."

"I..." do not know what I want, but he couldn't say that, or want to be safe in my dorm room right now, or want you to keep looking at me like that. I want to play whatever won't make you look at me like you were looking at Jin Zixuan just now. I don't know how to pick the thing that won't disappoint you. I... "am unfamiliar with the options."

"A-Ying, you should slow down," Jiang Yanli scolded. "You remember when you were brand new. We haven't even explained what the classes are yet."

"Right!" Wei Ying said, and leaned even further into the space of Lan Zhan's body to reach for one of the colorful hardcover books in front of Nie Huaisang on the other side of the table. Lan Zhan tried not to breathe, and also not to have an aneurysm. "So okay, every character in D&D has a race and a class, and a race is what you are and a class is what you do, basically--"

.

"Oh, just what we said at session zero," Yanli says, brushing it off with a one-handed gesture. "I want to be a very large barbarian who's very good at chopping things in half, and never relied upon to make decisions."

"Oh that's relatable," Huaisang agrees. "Except for wanting to be good at chopping things in half part, if I ever said something like that where my da-ge could hear he'd start trying to make me go to the gym with him again, and eughhhhh." He shudders in dramatic horror, and Yanli giggles, which is perfect.

"But Yanli-jie," he whines, laying it on just a little thicker. "You know I can't make a good story out of nothing but 'tall and good at chopping things in half'. You all like it so much when I make a good story for you, but I can't do it if you don't tell me what you want! You have to give me something, Yanli-jie, please."

"You're very good at this, you know," Yanli says. "You're much better at it than me."

"Who, me?" Huaisang flutters. "No, no, no--"

"Mmm, you know, a-Cheng and a-Ying have been telling me about your games since Freshman year," she says. "All the wonderful stories you tell. I worked very, very hard when they were younger, and they're very kind and they love me very much, but a-Ying has always been cleverer than me, and a-Cheng is much more stubborn about wanting to win."

"They love your games," Huaisang protests, although he's starting to see where this is going now. "They always say so."

"Yes, they do," Yanli says. "They're very good, very kind brothers, and I worked very hard at making games for them that were good enough for them to love." She smiles at him, still very sweetly, like a sugar coating over steel. "I don't want to have to work that hard this semester, Huaisang."

"I understand completely," Huaisang says. "It can be so exhausting!"

"Always having to be nice?" Yanli confirms. She nods, very, very sweet. "I'd like to go apeshit, please."

"Good character concept!" Huaisang says, making a mental note to never, ever give Jiang Yanli a reason to dismember his body and cook him into delicious soup. "Let's make sure you get that proficiency in intimidation."

.

"There's about a million races now, plus the whole Tasha's custom lineage rules, which is really cool because it means you can be anything," Wei Ying grinned. "What does Lan-er-gege want to be? An angelically perfect aasimar? A beautiful immortal ageless elf?" Obviously Lan Zhan would be great at anything he wanted to play, because Lan Zhan was good at everything except maybe having fun, and obviously he was here to actually try to do that which meant that Wei Ying could help him learn, finally, so obviously he was going to be awesome. It was hard to envision him as a short beardy dwarf, though, or anything like that. Or a tiefling, really, no matter how much Lan Zhan obviously deserved that charisma bonus. Lan Zhan was too good to be a tiefling. "Ooh, maybe a pretty Persian tabaxi?"

"What do you recommend?" Jin Zixuan was asking Jiejie with way too much cow-eyed sincerity. Ugh, like he could just peacock his way into everybody's good graces by being a doormat. Wei Ying was trying to help his actual friend here.

"Oh, I like playing all sorts of things," Jiejie said, and ugh, why was she smiling at him like that??? "A-Cheng knows all of the different mechanics, you could ask him?"

Jin Zixuan looked at Jiang Cheng, and then apparently decided to be a pussy and turned back to Jiejie instead. "I could just be a human?" he suggested, and Wei Ying groaned almost as loudly as is brother.

"You're not being a human," Jiang Cheng informed him. "You've got eight other PHB races, twelve options from Volo's, four things from Eberron if you don't even count the re-statted orc, all that shit from Ravnica, the Tasha's custom rules, and bare minimum two different subraces for at least half of them. Pick something else."

"He should be a halfling," Wei Ying suggested, because bullying Jin Zixuan into being an adorable round-cheeked halfling cleric with hairy feet sounded like exactly the sort of plan he could get Jiang Cheng on board with. Plus, if Jiejie was a goliath, their characters probably couldn't hook up in-game. "Halflings make good clerics, right Jiang Cheng?"

"Hmmph," Jiang Cheng said, which probably meant he was thinking about Halfling Luck and the inability to torture the peacock over every embarrassing nat 1, which was fair. Still: tiny, chubby-cheeked halfling.

Also, they knew what Huaisang was like as a DM. He might look like a small innocent man fastidiously checking his nails while his players argued about character creation, but inside was the heart of a cold, manipulative evil genius. It was awesome. If the peacock didn't remember to invoke his halfling luck himself, Huaisang wasn't going to remind him, and Wei Ying was pretty sure they could get some more than decent mileage out of that.

"Yeah," Jiang Cheng said. "Be a halfling."

Wei Ying looked back at Lan Zhan, because forcing him to take his eyes away from that perfection in order to glare was just one more of the peacock's many crimes. Lan Zhan looked a little wide-eyed, which was saying a lot for somebody with that few facial expressions. Wei Ying bumped his shoulder against Lan Zhan's encouragingly before he remembered that, oh right, Lan Zhan still didn't like to be touched.

"Lan Zhan, don't worry," he promised. "I'll help you pick the perfect thing."

.

"You know, you don't have to play a halfling Life domain cleric," Huaisang offers, and Jin Zixuan winces.

"No, I...I should," he says. "I will. I want to be a good sport."

"I mean, if that's what you want to do, of course you can!" Huaisang says, although he has his doubts about Jin Zixuan managing to win over either of Yanli's brothers simply by 'being a good sport'. Ah well, so long as he keeps the game going. "You and me are really here to talk about backstory."

"Backstory?" Jin Zixuan asks, looking trapped. "I need a backstory?"

"Everyone gets a backstory!" Huaisang declares. "You can pick a background to help decide what it should be. You could be from a noble family, or an acolyte raised by a church, or--"

"I want to be a poor farmer setting out to prove myself," Jin Zixuan cuts in. "I want to seek my fortune and show that I'm capable of being a hero."

Huaisang winces, just a little. "Okay, okay, we can find a way to do that," he says. "You get skills and tool proficiencies from your background, though, and there's no poor farmer background, so we'll have to figure it out...are you sure you don't want to be an artisan? Or a fisherman? Or a rich landowner?"

"A farmer," Zixuan says definitively. "A poor lotus farmer. Someone who worked his father's lotus fields for years before setting out on his own to make his own destiny."

"Right, yes, okay," Huaisang says, thinking frantically about where on his map he could fit lotus farming. Maybe in the Sheng River floodplain? "We can work with that, we can adapt the fisherman background for foraging for water plants." It'll be fine. At least Jin Zixuan has a character concept. Huaisang can make the world work around it.

"Okay!" Huaisang says. "So that's your backstory. Do you know what god you want to follow? How did you find them?"

Zixuan looks blank. "A god?"

Oh no. "You're...a cleric?" Huaisang tries.

Zixuan fidgets. He's starting to look trapped again. "Does that...mean I need a god?"

.

"See, there's lots of different things you can do, and Huaisang's a pretty good DM so he'll let you do more of whatever thing you most like," a-Ying explained to his friend. Yanli and a-Cheng had heard a great deal about this Lan Zhan last spring -- a-Cheng, she suspected, even more than her, since he and a-Ying had been living together at the time and she was still out of state completing her gap year internship. A-Ying clearly hadn't noticed his brother rolling his eyes just yet, but Yanli hoped Lan Zhan didn't take offense.

At least a-Ying was distracted enough that he wasn't as focused on making poor Zixuan's session zero miserable. Yanli held back a sigh. She did want this to work, sooner or later, and once they all got to actually playing she was sure they'd all start getting along at least a little better.

She'd promised herself, though, that she wasn't going to spend the whole game managing other people's behavior. She was going to let it go.

(And maybe she didn't mind, if her brothers made Zixuan work a little harder to win their approval. Just a little. Just for a while.)

"See, I like puzzles, and talking to NPCs, and solving problems, and finding new ways to do stuff," a-Ying said, in his version of a summary. Well, how else did you briefly cover everything from 'engineering a complex chain reaction to take down a CR 15 boss with a magic item, three skill checks, and a single second-level spell' to 'doggedly chasing down one passing comment a DM had made for the sake of worldbuilding, derailing an entire plot and somehow creating a completely different one'? Yes, Nie Huaisang was a much better DM for her brothers than Yanli had ever been.

"Jiang Cheng likes Winning At D&D," and Yanli could hear the capital letters, "and jiejie likes exploring and finding cool things."

It wasn't untrue. Yanli was, perhaps, still trying to decide what she liked best. Last semester, Nie Huaisang had promised to help her try.

"I didn't know this was a game you could win," Zixuan said, and she knew it was a question because she knew Zixuan, but Yanli was also familiar enough with her brothers to realize exactly how much they would take it as a challenge. She held back another sigh.

"It's not," Yanli cut in, breaking her rules just a little. "A-Cheng's just a little competitive sometimes."

"How?" Lan Zhan asked, looking up from where he was staring intently at his still-blank character sheet, apparently to avoid looking at a-Ying at all. Oh dear. "Do you win?" he added, when nobody seemed to know how to answer his question.

"You convince Huaisang to let you do point buy for stats and then try to minmax a half-elf hexadin that can oneshot a god," a-Ying grinned.

"And now we can't do point buy any more," a-Cheng grumbled.

"Jiang Cheng, you can't do that to me again, my poor skills can't keep up!" Nie Huaisang protested. Yanli wasn't sure exactly how much of it was an act, but she'd been behind that DM screen, so she had some suspicions.

Lan Zhan looked even more lost than Zixuan -- somebody was really going to need to make sure that a-Ying's scattered, enthusiastic attempts to explain an entire manual's worth of rules in twenty minutes didn't confuse him even more, poor thing -- and a-Ying laughed.

"Jiang Cheng played himself," he agreed cheerfully. "So how are you going to win beastmaster ranger, then?"

"Variant human, dex-based ranged attacker, using beast companion alongside additional summons to grant advantage and rack up damage in melee and aid skill checks out of combat," a-Cheng rattled off promptly, because of course he could. Oh, a-Cheng. Yanli loved her silly little brothers so very much.

"Wait," Zixuan said, and oh dear, now he did look annoyed. "You said I couldn't be a human."

A-Cheng snorted. Oh no.

"Jiang Cheng has been playing since he was twelve," a-Ying cut in, expression darkening dangerously. "He knows what his other options are."

That at least cut a-Cheng's glare away from Zixuan for a moment to give his brother a withering look of I can fight my own battles, but then he swung right back, and oh dear.

"I'm playing variant human because I get +2 dex, +1 wis, and a bonus feat at first level that I can turn into a power build which'll have me regularly doing consistent damage to AC 16 to 18 targets at level one with a class and subclass that's generally considered middle of the pack at best," a-Cheng said, scathing enough to make the insult clear even if Zixuan didn't understand all the language yet. "You wanted to play a human because you think you're too good for D&D."

Zixuan bristled. A-Ying shifted. Nie Huaisang, at the head of the table, raised his hands and fluttered, trying to call back attention.

Yanli had promised herself she wasn't going to spend her gaming time managing her little brothers and her possibly maybe would-be boyfriend.

Oh dear.

.

"Piercer feat, obviously, I'll pick up Sharpshooter at level 4 and bump wis at 8." Jiang Cheng has a written list. Huaisang is familiar with Jiang Cheng's lists, and more than a little scared of them.

"Jiang Cheng, you know you're much better with all the mechanics than me," Huaisang flutters, about 40% flattery. He could learn all the ins and outs of every powergaming build that Jiang Cheng tried to bring to his table, but that would take so much time that he could spend drawing maps, or painting backgrounds or minis, or doing his actual homework for his scientific illustration course. It might be the only class he ever takes in his life with 'science' in the name where he gets above a C+! Surely that's more important than trying to memorize every single mechanic Jiang Cheng might try to game and abuse before he even uses it. "You know I just need to see your finished character sheet unless you want to change something from the way it was written."

"I want to reskin a background from Eberron," Jiang Cheng says, shifting gears slightly. "House Agent, it gives me two tool proficiencies, persuasion, investigation, plus I'm taking stealth, survival, perception from the ranger list and acrobatics as a variant human, so--"

"Jiang Cheng! I need to know your backstory to let you do that, you know I do," he interrupts.

Jiang Cheng always has excellent, detailed, and thought-out character backstories. Always! It's just like pulling teeth, sometimes, to get him to admit it, and Nie Huaisang really doesn't know why, he just doesn't.

(That's a lie. He's been DMing for Jiang Cheng and Wei Ying for two and a half years, and there's enough therapy involved in that job that he knows much, much more about what it was like in the Jiang household growing up than anyone who wasn't part of their family really should. But he'll never tell.)

Jiang Cheng sighs. He glares, just slightly, at the paper in his hands.

"We're definitely for sure using the Fifteen Dynasties setting from last year?" he demands. "With the same political aftermath of what we did last time?"

"I have so many maps, Jiang Cheng! You have to let me use my maps again," he says. Jiang Cheng sighs again, even more put-upon.

"I'm the eldest son of the most powerful clan of humans living in the Twilight Forest province. I was charged by my clan to go out looking for allies, weapons, or whatever power I could find. I'm going to return and help my family overthrow the wood elves of the Peng dynasty, so our clan can ascend as rulers of the Twilight Forest," he says flatly. "I have two younger sisters and an older cousin who'll probably inherit leadership of the clan if I die while I'm off adventuring. My mother is a level fifteen ranger, either beastmaster or gloomstalker, who keeps our clan's whole area of the Twilight Forest safe for humans and anything else living there." His glare sharpens again. "If you say anything about my mother..."

"You'll break my kneecaps, I know, I would never, Jiang Cheng!" Nie Huaisang is a good unofficial therapist, thank you very much. He believes in DM-player confidentiality.

"It's what makes sense for the character," Jiang Cheng says grumpily, and Nie Huaisang absolutely does not grin.

.

"So what do you think, Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying asked, because Jiang Cheng's brother was an absolute fucking disaster. "Did anything there sound good? Tabaxi monk? Aasimar paladin? Kalashtar? Warforged? Half-elf? Elf?"

Lan Zhan didn't have much of a facial expression. He hadn't had much of a facial expression since he walked in here, because Jiang Cheng's brother apparently had the world's most embarrassing crush on a literal block of wood, but in the guy's defense, Jiang Cheng had known Wei Ying long enough to recognize completely overwhelmed by a literal fucking hurricane of personality when he saw it.

"Elf?" he said, as much question as answer. Wei Ying latched onto it like it wasn't screamingly obvious that it was just literally the only thing on his list of insane babble that Lan Zhan recognized.

"Of course Lan-er-gege would be an elf," he said, and Jiang Cheng groaned out loud before the whole table could be treated to another five minutes on how pristine and perfect and carved out of literal fucking jade Lan-er-gege was.

"Okay, great, we've got goliath, human, halfling, elf, and whatever you're going to be," he said, moving things along. Huaisang was a perfectly competent DM, but he was way too ready to let the party wander off into inane shenanigans without reining them in. Luckily, Jiang Cheng had about fifteen years of experience with that on his side.

"Levistus tiefling," Wei Ying said promptly. "I get cool horns and cool bonus spells." Jiang Cheng was absolutely not going to acknowledge the pun. Nobody at this table, except possibly Huaisang, would know off the top of their heads that Levistus bloodline tieflings got Ray of Frost as a free cantrip at level one. Wei Ying was baiting him for attention and also probably so he could call Jiang Cheng a nerd again, and Jiang Cheng was not going to give in to it. "She's going to be super chill." Goddamnit.

"She?" Jin Zixuan asked, and great, a whole new thing to deal with. Jiejie made them promise not to start any real fights, but if the asshole started getting homophobic Jiang Cheng was going to have to punch him probably unless Wei Ying did it first, and maybe jiejie would take that as a sign that she deserved better and move on. Huh. Maybe that was something to hope for.

"Peacock, peacock, playing a girl in D&D is great," Wei Ying taunted, clearly already thinking the same thing. "You get to actually be creative playing at being something you're not, and I'm keeping the party dynamics from turning into total gross cliche since jiejie's playing a guy." He fixed Zixuan with the kind of terrifyingly dark look that Jiang Cheng really wished he'd stop giving people, except it was an effective glare so maybe not just yet. "It's fine that jiejie's playing a guy, right?"

"O--of course," Jin Zixuan stuttered. Well. Good.

"Good," Wei Ying agreed, holding that slightly serial killer stare for five more seconds before sinking back in his chair what his usual bright grin like nothing had happened. "Plus I get to be super hot and flirt with all the NPCs," he added, like he wouldn't have just done that anyway no matter what class or gender he was playing. He flirted for an entire campaign as a hobgoblin artificer with -1 charisma. "What do you say, Lan Zhan, want to play a girl with me?"

Lan Zhan flicked a glance at the rest of the table, and ugh, now Jiang Cheng was going to have to step in just so his weird brother's weird real-life flirting didn't completely derail their game before it even started. Except then Lan Zhan said, "Okay."

Fucking hell, this semester was going to be a nightmare.

.

"Oh you know I have so many ideas." Wei Ying grins, and Huaisang grins back because does he ever know about Wei Ying's ideas. He can't wait to hear what tops the kenku College of Spirits bard.

"Tell me about your lady," he says. "Tiefling warlock? Isn't that too basic for you?"

"Not if she's a celestial warlock," Wei Ying fires back, and okay, yes, good, this is a great start. "And here's the catch, I need you to work with me here, Huaisang, I don't want the rest of the party to know."

"But Ying-ge, aren't they going to notice?" Character-building with Wei Ying is always so fun. He has an answer to everything, and it's always so incredibly weird.

"Hey, not if you don't tell them." Wei Ying winks. "I'll goth it up, tell everyone my patron's a fiend, and fake it. You'll let me make sleight of hand checks to give them a couple of hit points when I signal at you, right? I'll even let you roll the dice so you know I'm not cheating..."

"Won't they wonder where the hit points are coming from?" Huaisang asks, and Wei Ying fixes him with an unimpressed, knowing look.

"A-Sang, are you telling me you can't let me text you under the table to give a party full of distracted PCs a couple of random bonus hit points without them noticing too much? I expected more from you."

"Okay, okay, fine, for you, I'll do it." Oh this is going to be so much fun. "But why do you want to secretly be a celestial warlock?"

"Okay, get this." Wei Ying leans forwards, one foot half tucked up under him, leaning half on the table and half on his own knee, twisted up like he doesn't even realize he's sort of a pretzel. Huaisang still doesn't know if that's the Extreme (recently self-diagnosed) ADHD or the Extreme (also recently self-diagnosed) Bisexuality, but it's always really impressive to watch. "Folk hero for a small town she can't go back to because they think she caused the thing she saved them from."

Oh, here they go. "Tiefling prejudice?"

"Yeah, yeah, tiefling prejudice, but also she's kind of a slutty goth mess," Wei Ying waves off. "So some bad thing happened, I don't know what, that's up to you, I trust you, a-Sang--" which is gratifying to hear, and Huaisang's head is already buzzing through options, "and it wasn't her fault, but she goes out to the woods or wherever and prays because she doesn't know what else to do, and there's this qilin who agrees to save the town if she agrees to go out and save other people and never go home again."

It's very cool, and very Wei Ying. It's also absolutely not the whole story. "But why can't she just admit she saved the town? I don't understand," Huaisang pushes.

"Oh, because there's like five hundred stories going around about this mythic visiting hero who rained down divine aid or vengeance or whatever on this town, and nobody would ever believe it was her," Wei Ying says, like it's obvious. "It was all some old laozu. Also probably the people from her village still think whatever bad thing was her fault and might try to kill her if they heard she was around again, especially if she was trying to take credit for saving them."

On the whole it makes no sense, of course. If a bunch of villagers heard about a traveling tiefling warlock who made a deal with a fiend, or they heard about one who'd made a deal with a qilin and went around healing people, the one they were probably going to want to chase down for vengeance was the one working for the fiend. Huaisang's pretty sure he's got it, though. It makes no sense the exact same way a lot of Wei Ying's characters' weirdly self-sacrificing internal logic makes no sense. Huaisang knows just what to do with it.

"Why this character?" Huaisang asks. "Why do you want to be a celestial warlock in the first place?"

"Huaisang, you know I think warlocks are super cool," Wei Ying says, and looks distractedly at some other cluster of students chattering on the other side of the common room, and doesn't answer the question.

"But why a celestial warlock?" Huaisang persists. He's going to need Wei Ying to say it out loud, probably, even if he does already think he might know the answer.

"It's just really nice, right? Going around to do good deeds because someone else tells you what they are, plus they're not a god and you don't have to bow down and worship them and convince other people to worship them too?" Wei Ying says, toying with the end of his shoelace. "You were willing to trade your life away because you needed power or whatever, but it turns out now your life's being run by someone who only wants to use it to do good stuff."

Fuck, Huaisang isn't getting paid enough for this. He's not getting paid at all. Who said it was his job to give his friends and players this much therapy?

.

Dungeons and Dragons, as far as Lan Zhan could tell, was a game about pretending to be something other than yourself.

He was not good at that, Lan Zhan would absolutely under no circumstances ever describe himself as good at that. But. Maybe, if he tried to pretend hard enough, to be somebody different enough, with rules and numbers to tell him how to do it--maybe he could pretend to be good at pretending. Just enough. Just for a little while.

"A female elf," he said, and didn't think about Wei Ying's promise -- his threat -- to flirt with everyone in the game. Playing a female character seemed safer on that front too. "I still need a class."

"We've got melee, tank, ranged, support, blaster caster, party face, stealth, and general skill check coverage for strength, dex, wis, and charisma," Jiang Cheng rattled off. "We need knowledge checks, battlefield control, and a secondary caster for when that one runs out of spell slots five times a day." That one seemed to indicate Wei Ying, but Lan Zhan didn't care to even try to guess why.

"Which means?" Lan Zhan asked, a bit more sharply than he'd meant to. Jiang Cheng was looking at him with challenge in the set of his shoulders, which were easier to look at than whatever that expression was in Wei Ying's eyes. He didn't know what battlefield control meant, but anything with control in the name sounded appealing.

"It's your first time playing," Jiang Cheng said. "Think you can handle a massive pile of spells well enough to play a wizard?"

"Um, yeah he can," Wei Ying insisted instantly, pulling Lan Zhan's attention back, as though Lan Zhan's attention had ever left. "Obviously Lan Zhan's a genius who can figure out all those lists and tables and play anything."

He was always saying things like that. Lan Zhan didn't know why.

"Don't be pushy," Jiang Yanli scolded her brothers. "Of course he can play anything."

"It's fine," said Lan Zhan, who didn't know nearly enough about the game to make a different choice anyway. That was fine. He knew how to stick to a choice, whether he'd known what it meant when he was making it or not.

"Elven wizard. Female. Battlefield control," he said. He looked at Nie Huaisang. "I trust that's acceptable?"

.

"I know very little about this game," Lan Zhan admits, like Huaisang couldn't have told that from the first moment he walked in for session zero. "What else is there to discuss?"

"All sorts of things!" Huaisang tells him. "We should talk about what your character can do, I can lend you books and recommend some youtube channels, but first we should decide who they are. Where did she come from? Why is she studying magic? What does she want out of life? Why is she on an adventure with these other weird people?"

Lan Zhan doesn't have a lot of facial expressions. Huaisang really hopes that the one he's wearing now doesn't actually mean, 'I will light you on fire with my mind, here, in the real world, for daring to think I would care about D&D.'

"You don't have to play, of course," Huaisang hurries to assure him. "I know Jin Zixuan asked you, and Wei Ying is sort of pushy -- but he means well! -- but if you don't want to play, it's okay. And if you ever change your mind and want to leave, that's okay too, just...text me? Send me an email?"

"I'll play," Lan Zhan says. Shit, Huaisang is going to have to get better at reading him, he can't tell at all what's going on in his head. "I don't know how to answer your questions."

"Well, let's start at the beginning," Huaisang says, trying to figure out just where the beginning even is here. "Why did you want to play a girl elf wizard?"

Lan Zhan hesitates. He's very quiet, Huaisang's noticed, when he's not making simple declarative statements or asking questions that sound like them. Hmm. Doesn't like to put himself in the position of looking like he doesn't know exactly what's going on?

"A 'girl elf wizard,'" he says, and Huaisang can hear the air quotes, even if he can't imagine Lan Zhan making the gesture in a million years, "is. Not like me." He hesitates again, and then adds, "I hear that's the point of the game."

Aw, fuck, he's shy.

Shy and scared and has absolutely no idea what he's doing. He's going to have an even harder time at this than Jin Zixuan. Also he might get even more into it than Wei Ying, once he figures out what it even is, which is going to be a whole different thing to deal with.

"Can I make a suggestion?" Nie Huaisang asks, pulling up his map of the continent. "There's a city of elves with a big school for magic, law, and philosophy, out here on the edge of the old empire, not run by any particular dynasty. Cloud Recesses. It used to be where all the legislators and court officials and lawyers and imperial scholars all got trained, it's a really easy place to learn to be a wizard, it's already full of elves, it would make sense..." He trails off under Lan Zhan's steady stare.

"A scholar at a college for legislators and politicians?" Lan Zhan asks. Right, Wei Ying had mentioned he's a polisci major.

"I know, I know it sounds like you and that's just what you said you don't want!" Huaisang hurries. "But there's a good reason, I promise!"

He waits to be given the go-ahead. Lan Zhan waits, apparently expecting him to continue. Good enough. Huaisang forges on.

"You already said it, right, a female elf wizard who's probably at least a hundred years old and can throw fire around and magically turn things into other things already isn't like you," he babbles quickly. "No matter what you do, of course it'll be different! But sometimes it's easier if you start somewhere sort of familiar, so you know how she's different already." Either he's not saying this right, or Lan Zhan understands completely and just doesn't make facial expressions. "You didn't leave school to go on a study-abroad adventure where you have to kill goblins and monsters and giant spiders, right? So that's why she's different, because she did!"

Huaisang pauses, hoping for something in return. Something to tell him whether he's on any kind of right track. Maybe he's got it completely backwards, maybe Lan Zhan needs a character who grew up raised by pirates on the south coast and learned magic in bits and pieces from scrolls she looted off of downed ships --

"Why..." Lan Zhan starts, almost quietly, then clears his throat and tries again. "Why would she leave?"

He sounds so hesitant. Oh god. Huaisang is going to have to do so much therapy in this one. His friends are so lucky that he's a nosy intrusive bitch that has fun figuring out their deepest malfunctions and coaxing them out in an RP setting. He could do so much damage with this.

"We can figure it out!" Huaisang chirps. "Maybe somebody sent her on a quest. I'm the DM, I can help you decide on that. We can figure this out." He offers what is hopefully his most winning grin. "Want to try?"

Lan Zhan takes a deep breath. Oh, this semester is going to be something. "Yes," he says. "I'd like to try."

.

So.

A goliath barbarian played by a girl who wants to stop feeling like she has to fix everything, who stepped in to chide or nudge or correct her brothers half a dozen times during Session Zero today before Huaisang could even open his mouth.

A halfling cleric played by a rich kid who doesn't know how to let go of his pride, who bit back awkward fumbles and defensive snapping every other time he spoke today, but wants to live out the fantasy of leaving his family entirely behind to forge out his own destiny.

A human ranger played by a business heir who also doesn't know how to let go of his pride, who's tried to build a character who's good enough to win in every game Huaisang's ever run for him, who wants to live out the fantasy of living up to his family, making them proud.

A tiefling warlock played by a genius foster kid who spent literally the entire afternoon begging for whatever positive or negative attention he could get, who wants the freedom and restriction of being forced to do good in private while everyone around him assumes he's at least slightly evil.

And an elf wizard played by a terrified shy boy with a resting bitch face that could kill a man at a dozen paces who doesn't even realize how much he wants to pretend to leave his whole life behind to do something chaotic and exciting. Probably because he hasn't played pretend since about the age of four. If then.

Huaisang sits in his room thinking about it, sketching out scenes of a secluded school in the mountains, a tiny hamlet on the edge of the rocky hills, a manor house deep amid thick woods, a farm full of flowers astride a river, a sandy fighting pit out behind a shitty tavern. He thinks, and he slides pieces together, and the shape of a campaign begins to take form.

[interact-if]

Day 3 of A/PI Heritage Month featured authors interview! Please perceive... Jess!

Jess, author of A Bard's Tale

A/PI Heritage Month Featured Author

It takes place on the fictional continent of Amaran, a high fantasy setting based on Asian and Pacific Islander cultures as opposed to traditional Eurocentric high fantasy.

In the wake of a terrible war, you are a young bard just starting your journey. Will you answer the call to adventure and embark to rouse the sleeping gods?

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

Q1: First of all, introduce us to your project! What is it about?

A Bard’s Tale is a story about a bard, and about a few more bards, and a world that is still living in the wake of war and occupation.

More specifically, it is the story of a bard (you!) and your quest to wake Amaran’s sleeping gods. The Bard has been experiencing recurring dreams prior to the start of the story, calling them to the capital city of Mahar’il – where they meet a colorful cast of companions and take the first steps of their journey.

A Bard’s Tale mixes old faithful D&D/RPG elements with dating sim-esque romance, and doesn’t take itself too seriously. The result is some good, clean fun. (Or dirty, depending on your choices.)

Q2: If it’s not too spoilery, what are you most excited about your project?

(Future scenes, can’t wait for readers to get to xyz place in the plot, etc.etc.)

I am most excited for readers to take their first steps onto the road. Mahar’il is meant to be a “home,” of sorts, and so these first chapters are adamant about familiarizing the reader with the city and the people they can expect to find here. But Amaran is so much bigger. I’m excited for people to see some of the other cities and regions that they’ve been only briefly introduced to so far, and also to get cracking on the complicated dynamics of Aspen and Tempest.

Q3: What inspired the current project you’re working on?

I’ve been working and playing in the larger world of Valia for a long time – through homebrewing D&D campaigns, and through the novel I am also working on, which takes place a continent away and a few hundred years in the past.

A Bard’s Tale sprung from the thought of “What will this world look like when this is all over?” “How will these people start to heal?” And, of course, “If I wrote a dating sim, who are Amaran’s most eligible bachelor(ette)s?”

Q4: Do you pull from your own identity for inspiration? How has that been reflected in your work?

I do! I am a biracial Korean-American, and both my parents were also born in America. It comes with a lot of diaspora blues, which I try not to project onto my characters that live in a fictional high fantasy world where racism and borders don’t have to exist. I admit that it tends to project pretty heavily anyway on the half-elves, Edin and Han.

The influence from my cultural background will become more evident the farther from Mahar’il that we get – particularly in the Jinju and Kujaku regions, which are inspired by Joseon-era Korea. (Loosely, in Kujaku’s case.)

Mahar’il is a cultural melting pot, and my inspiration for it is actually, largely, San Francisco. I’ve always admired the architecture of SF, and how the juxtaposition of antique and modern, ethnic (particularly Asian) and American, creates a sort of chaotic harmony.

However, I feel that it is important to note that the perspective from which I write is that of an Asian-American, and not just an Asian. My story is not rooted in Asian mythology, nor does its structure reflect Asian media and literature, because my foundation is largely Western.

Q5: What’s been your experience so far? With writing, with the if community...

Writing has always been second nature to me. Translating that to game code has been a bit tricky but I manage. And if I get stuck, I’ve made plenty of friends in the IF community, both authors and readers, who are more than willing to lend a hand.

In terms of my readers, I feel so, so blessed by you guys. I started this for fun, truly, thinking no one would be willing to read such a niche story and certainly not clamor for more than a demo. The support I’ve gotten from the community has been astounding, and I’m truly grateful for it.

Q6: Finally, what piece of advice would you give to fellow authors?

My biggest advice is do what makes you happy, and write from your heart. Inspiration will not always be there when you want it to be, and that’s okay. Set out a pot of coffee and a nice inviting blanket for when that fickle mistress decides to appear. Don’t shy away from projects that aren’t capturing your attention, but don’t devote more time to them than you want to. No one is judging your pile of half-finished drafts, except yourself.

Go where the wind takes you, even if it’s not “profitable” or even “good,” because every minute that you spend writing makes you a better writer. And on that note, write write write. I don’t think you need to set a daily timer, or whatever Stephen King said in his self-help book, but if you make a habit of it you will see progress. And read read read. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so read voraciously – and take a scalpel to your favorite books. Learn from them, dissect them, understand what makes them tick and then sprinkle a little of that in your own work.

And finally, fix your sleep schedule. I know you need to.

[midnightsunnyday]

The Brothers reacting to MC randomly doing a sexy dance for them

Some slight NSFW under the cut.

Lucifer

You should know better than to disturb him with something so foolish, yet that doesn't stop you from entering his study, apparently.

"Hello, MC. Is there something you need?" He says, not once taking his eyes off his work.

You press the play button on your Bluetooth speaker and begin to dance. His eyes widen, hand held to his chest.

Don't get him wrong. As a demon, he's far from being a prude. He just wasn't expecting you to be so...flexible in your movements.

But what is it with humans comparing their privates to food? Macaroni in a pot? For Diavolo's sake.

Was going to reprimand you, but his mind is obviously on something else now.  

*sighs* "I never knew how needy you were for my attention. Whatever should I do to address such naughty behavior?"

 Mammon

Immediately assumes you're up to something, yet invites you into his room.

As soon as the music starts, his ears perk up. Could it be you just wanted to listen to your human music with him? Well, if it's quality time his human wanted, then it's quality time you'd get.

"Oh yeah, I know this song. It's actually pretty popular in the clubs…here..."

When you start to dance, he's completely frozen in place.

He also forgets to breathe for about three minutes.

Is this going to turn into a strip tease? Please let it turn into a strip tease.

Damn, you kept your clothes on.

Slaps himself in the face to regather his composure.

Tries to play it cool, but is burning all over.

"You b-better not dance like this for anyone else. Now uh...can ya do that again?"

Leviathan

Honestly, he wasn't sure why you'd even visit him. Maybe you had his room mistaken for one of his other brothers?

But when you insist that yes, you're here to see him, he can't help but blush.

Inviting you in, he begins to ramble, a bad habit of his when he's excited.

"What should we do first? Video games? There's this campaign going on that I'd like to play with you. What about anime? We could watch the new season of...wait, what are you doing with your...Asdfghjkl."

Leviathan has experienced a critical system failure.

He could feel his soul ascended from his body, only to smack back into him a few seconds later. Gasping for air he looks at you with widen eyes.

You killed him, you monster. What did he do to deserve such torture?

The lyrics are so suggestive and the dancing, it sends his thoughts racing to places he'd be too embarrassed to act on.

Once you finish, he sits there, unable to gather his words.

"D-don’t you ever d-do that to me a-again."

He's lying, of course. Please surprise him with sexy dances more often.

Asmodeus

When you enter his room, he's busy admiring himself in the mirror.

Noticing you in the reflection, he smiles. "Oh, MC, how are you? Have you come to admire my beauty?"

When you turn on the music, however, Asmodeus squeals with glee.

*jolts from his chair* "Oh my forsaken God, I love this song.”

I mean, come on, this is him we're talking about.

He even tried to have a pole installed in his room for such occasions. Lucifer stopped him, of course.

Has no issue with dancing with you, performing moves that were borderline sex acts.

Disappointed when the song ends. You didn't think one dance would satisfy him, did you?

"Don't tell me you're already tired? Let's take this to The Fall. I want to dance with you all night long."

Satan

Like always, is deeply invested in a book when you enter his room.

"Yes, MC. Is there something you need?"

Like Lucifer, he instantly recognizes your presence, yet doesn't bother to look up from his book, until he hears the music.

Now, Satan considers himself to be a very open-minded demon.

However, he was not prepared for such...colorful lyrics.

He also wasn't prepared for you being so flexible in your dancing, which causes an unfortunate response in a place he'd rather keep hidden under his book.

Isn’t sure whether he should be angry at you interrupting him or aroused.

When you finish, he clears his throat, clearly flustered.

"Is this your way of teasing me? I can't deny that it's working."

 Beelzebub

Contrary to popular belief, he does have other hobbies besides eating.

But for now, he was doing his weekly workout routine in the common room.

"Hey, MC. Wanna do...a few push ups... together?" He says between breaths.

Doesn't bother to stop his workout when you begin to dance, offering a few doe-eyed blinks in return.

Though he doesn't understand why he's becoming so flustered. Is it your dancing that's bothering him?

Has already missed count about 10 times.  

Is a bit peeved about his workout being disrupted, but knows how you'll make it up to him.

Gets up to turn off your music and motions you over to him.

“How about I show you a real workout?”

And by real workout, he means using you as a weight for 1 hour.

Oh? You thought he meant something else? Not so fun being teased, is it, MC?

Though he isn’t entirely opposed to the idea. 

 Belphegor

Was preparing himself for his designated fourth nap of the day, when you came in speakers blazing and having what he assumed was a seizure in your ass.

Is irritated, really. You were doing a bit too much for him.

Hello, Avatar of Sloth, here? Can you wrap this up?

Furthermore, the women in your song are way too demanding. There's no way he could perform all those acts without getting tired.

For a while, he watches you in silence.

*shakes his head* “Was that some kind of human mating dance? Are you really that desperate for my attention that you would resort to such a display?" *tucks himself under his covers and shoos you away* “Just say you want to have sex with me and go.”

[chirolinguistic]

FALLING -- chapter 1 (a TF D&D fic)

Hey folks! My spouse and I have been playing a Transformers D&D campaign recently and it's been soooo much fun! I thought I would do a little written account/fic of the story as we went along. It started with me just making notes of what had happened in the sessions, and then I thought I might use it as a bit of a writing exercise, and well... I made a sideblog, and here it is! I do not claim that this is any good, and while I'm proud of myself for even writing this much (I haven't done so in a loooong time), it still feels off and I may do another draft or two. I do intend to post more chapters (and have bits and pieces already finished), so if you find it interesting, there will hopefully be more to come!

SYNOPSIS: A newly forged Cybertronian comes online for the first time and finds themselves in for a rocky start to their new life.

WARNINGS: sleep paralysis (no shadow demons tho), anxiety/panic attacks, loss/lack of senses

Forgive me if I don’t tag something correctly! I’m new to this. Just shoot me a message and I’ll tag it/put it in the warnings!

Story (and a notes section just as long lmao) below the cut.

CHAPTER ONE -- you are here!

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER ONE.

At first, there was nothing. A vague existence floating somewhere, devoid of light, devoid of sound, devoid of cognizance.

And then, something.

"Hello?"

It was a funny thing, processing consciousness for the first time. To become something out of nothing... to perceive. Senses were new, but somehow already familiar -- everything was, actually. They had never existed before, and yet, in a way, they already had. They knew things despite never having learned them. They understood language but had never communicated. They had never heard-

"Hello?" it echoed. "Can you hear me?"

Wait, no, they had heard! Someone had been trying to talk to them. They tried to respond, but something was wrong; awareness was rapidly filling them, but control was not. They put all of their willpower into doing something, anything, any kind of movement or sound or something they could do to show that they were here, they were trying. But their efforts seemed to go to waste as they strained against whatever unseen force was keeping them from-

"-coming online," the voice said. "Their vitals are steady, the scans show activity in the brain module, but they're not responding. Maybe..."

They felt something, heard noises -- shifting metal... someone was opening their chest panel! Something important was in there, something that needed protecting. Processors kicked up and their fans whirred as their panic began to intensify. If they could just move they could-

"Hey Wing? I think we should take them to an examination room."

And then they were moving, or being moved, rather; they still could not access their frame, though they could sense that whatever it was they were laying on was being propelled forward. Their ride pulled to a stop and they heard the voice again, and then a few different ones. One of them was louder than the rest -- they must have been right next to them. "Hmm. You're right about it being strange, Lightbright. It is not supposed to be that color, but otherwise, I can't identify anything wrong with it." They felt pressure on their neck, and an uncomfortable sensation as if someone were fiddling around inside of it. Another unfamiliar voice said, "Their voice-box seems to be in working condition as well. There's nothing physically stopping them from speaking."

At this, their distress grew. If it wasn't physical, then what was wrong with them? Was it all in their head? And why was it so damn loud... The noise in the room had picked up significantly: the last two speakers began bouncing ideas off of each other, things were whoosh-ing and click-ing and clang-ing around them, and the sound of their own systems going into overdrive had mingled with the anxiety of being unable to communicate, and it sent them reeling.

Then something grabbed their hand. It startled them at first, to have another sensation join the fray, but what held them was warm and... and solid. The world slowed down some as their mind focused in on the touch, and for the first time it felt like they were grounded by something -- a small tether wrapped around their finger. Their fans quieted a smidge.

>Can you hear me?<

This time they felt it. It was the voice -- the one that had first spoken to them -- but rather than hearing it projected through the void with all of the other noise, it seemed to come through the tether. It was strong and direct, yet somehow still soft and unabrasive.

A thought struck them. Maybe, if they followed the link to its source... They concentrated on their fingers, sending a short, simple message: >Yes.<

For a moment, they thought they had failed to get through. But after a brief pause, they received a reply. >Are you in any pain?<

They hesitated. They were scared, and everything had gotten pretty overwhelming for a bit, but they were in no physical pain, so they decided to answer: >No.<

>Do you have a name?<

This one tripped them up. They scoured their data banks, searching for answer, but found none that were theirs. There was a nagging feeling that they should have one, but if they did, it was inaccessible at the moment... just like everything else.

Alarm shot through them as the tether moved, and they were afraid that it was going to disconnect and leave them alone again. It was still there, just slightly more distant, and they reluctantly let their focus drift further from their anchoring hand to see what might be going on. Had someone else entered? There seemed to be more voices now, though it was difficult to make out what they were saying. It was like everything was slowly becoming a wall of static, but a voice once again asked, barely audible -

"What is your name?"

Did... that come through the tether? It sure didn't feel like it, but it also didn't sound like it was coming from through their audial receptors. It wasn't the one who had linked with them, nor did it seem to be any of the other voices they had heard prior; perhaps it was one of the new arrivals? That didn't seem right either. Did it even matter? They didn't know how to respond anyway. Their processor ached -- so many things were happening around them, yet they still had no answers. By this point, they were running on empty and all they wanted to do was rest. Instead, the static only grew louder.

"Do you have a name?"

The question thundered around them, jolting them awake with a force that threatened to shatter their whole being. The breath had been knocked out of them -- or had they screamed? Their frame throbbed and strained against itself, and their head felt like it would burst at any moment. "Do you have a name?" echoed around the void until an answer was forced out of them, and they roared-

"NO!"

And then, there was nothing again. No sounds, no feelings, no tether, no thoughts. Just... nothing.

"Good."

The only thing in that existed in that moment was that voice.

"Then I shall grant you one," it said. "Are you ready to receive your name?”

“...Yes," they replied. They were barely aware that they had.

"Then from now on, you will be Requiem Fall... of Grand Mal."

Something finally clicked inside them. An identity was being etched into their spark, and it fluttered.

"Now... open your eyes."

With a sharp intake through their vents, they felt their frame fall to hit the berth beneath them. Requiem's optics were open, and they realized that someone was standing over them -- a white mech with red accenting -- peering down with concern. Aside from a couple of beeping monitors, everything was quiet. They held the gaze of the nearby bot for a moment, then let it dart around the room. Several others were standing to off to the sides, and they were all staring at Requiem. After a moment, the first mech took Requiem's hands in his and asked-

>Are you in any pain?<

>No.< they replied.

>Can you sit up?<

They pushed themselves up off the slab with little effort, turning their head to face the other bot. Another bot -- more slender than the first with a teal blue frame -- stepped forward, holding her left hand in her right. Her voice was comforting and familiar, and he recognized it as the first one he had heard -- and the one that first spoke hand with them. "Can you tell us anything? Do you have a name?"

Through their hands, Requiem replied, >Requiem Fall of Grand Mal.< The white mech's brow furrowed and they took a step back, releasing Requiem's hands for a moment to document something in the datapad. His optics flickered a few times between the pad and Requiem, as if he was unsure what to make of their answer. Their fingers interlaced once more and the bot asked, >Can... can you tell me what Grand Mal is?<

Requiem blinked, confused. They had just told them, hadn't they? >It is part of the name that was given to me.< they stated flatly. The bot studied Requiem's optics with a quiet intensity before they vented softly, disconnected, and reached for the datapad to make another note. Passing it to the teal bot -- Lightbright, was it? -- they gestured toward the door to the room and asked, "Would you like to go for a walk?"

--

NOTES: Sooo! I know this isn't written very well, but I'm rusty and I was never very good to begin with, lol. (-w-; ) Anyway, this is based on a campaign my spouse is running, set in a version of the Transformers universe. It's heavily inspired by IDW1, with dashes of Prime and other continuities here and there. I started writing this as a way of having a record of our sessions, and we thought we might as well post it here! We do not claim to be any good, but by golly are we having fun with it. I'm running a party of four on my own, and of course my spouse is doing the rest as the DM. I'm the only reliable player he's got, lol, and I also couldn't decide on what kind of character I wanted to be, so we just went for this! As we played, Requiem was actually last in the line-up, but in the timeline they wake first. Plus, they've basically become the main character -- this is partially due to the fact that they're a warlock, and the act of establishing a connection with their patron has just given them more to do in the story so far. And I just think they're neat!! The circumstances of said connection, and really the character themselves, wound up changing course right out the gate. Though the DM started the "coming online" sequence pretty much the same as the others, something about the way it happened made me hesitate, and then it just kind of snowballed from there into a different direction that I found really interesting and wanted to explore.

Some notes regarding the writing style:

- I'm a big fan of punctuation, given that my ADHD brain always has a million notes about everything mid-thought, but I'm never quite sure if I over- or mis-use it and make it obnoxious to read; there were times where I had a bunch of commas and/or dashes and/or semi-colons in one sentence, and it just felt clunky, but after breaking them down into shorter sentences it still feels weird? I do think the flow could be improved significantly, though I'm not quite sure how, and I went back and forth between things on pretty well every line.

- I've never written Transformers or robots in general before, so some of the language used regarding anatomy and functions may be repetitive or more human-leaning as I figure out what works for me and what feels too clunky for my tastes.

- I couldn't quite decide how to fit both my/my character's perspectives and those of the DM's/other characters' into one narrative, so it's missing a few things and may be kind of sloppy. I don't know if I'm quite happy with it... it was quite a challenge to attempt to write from the perspective of a character who is essentially a newborn adult, and who's processing the concept of identity while dealing with "sleep" paralysis and sensory issues, leading to/on top of an existential crisis. A few things were changed or fabricated a bit as I transitioned from play session > notes made afterward > prose story, either by the aforementioned point-of-view choices, being unable to remember certain details, or things just not quite lining up right. I may come back to this and re-write it, or at least write a different version of it, or maybe not. ¯*(ツ)*/¯

- Kind of piggy-backing off the last point, I think technically Requiem wouldn't shorten their name, even in their head, and would refer to themselves as Requiem Fall -- actually, probably the full Requiem Fall of Grand Mal -- but it felt really clunky to write and hard to remember to do, considering I as the player refer to them just as Requiem. Technically it's still written in third-person, but it's from Requiem's perspective, so I debated on going back to change it... but eh.

- Similarly, despite Requiem not knowing the other bots' pronouns, I went ahead and used them for ease of reference. I'll touch on gender a bit down below. May go back and change that, may not.

As I said, a few things wound up missing from the narrative. Here are a few things that came up during play that didn’t here:

- Most of the other bots' reactions, particularly Lightbright's, wound up getting cut. I think originally, Requiem opened their eyes earlier, then got overwhelmed and closed them again, and then opens them back up when the voice instructs them to, so they saw a few more things than I wound up writing in. I couldn't remember exactly how things went down to get to this point, so I fudged it with a bit of a ret-con -- this is definitely one of the things I'm still trying to figure out how to incorporate back in for a potential new draft.

- Anyway, Lightbright gets visibly excited when she finds a successful method of communication (which is chirolinguistics, aka "speaking hand", from IDW1's MTMTE -- I figured that the words 'yes' and 'no' were the easiest messages to get across, even through paralysis, and especially since extremities tend to be some of the first things to wake up).

- Lightbright is also holding Requiem's hand when they hear the voice 'yell' at them (it wasn't actually yell, but more the idea that this voice came through clear as day amidst all of the rabble and static, but that it was so startling and overwhelming that it felt like an attack -- p sure I had rolled a nat 1), and when that happens their body seizes up, meaning that Lightbright's hand is in the line of fire, and the others help pry her out (and that's why she's holding her hand when she speaks later). Requiem's scream and their "NO" in response was also vocalized out loud, and probably scared the bejeebus out of everyone!

- Lightbright is Requiem's blacksmith, also a concept from IDW1 (and also IDW2, I think? though I haven't read it yet). Basically, they're like a midwife that serves as a guide during the forging process. TFWiki's got a great article about it.

- Kaput is the doctor that checks out Requiem's spark in the examination room, and the one that confirms their voice-box is working is Electroprobe. We'll find out the white and red mech's identity in the next chapter, but these two probably won't come up again, at least not for a while.

- Speaking of Electroprobe, who is an OC NPC my spouse created, they're named so after the tool used in the game Operation... by Hasbro. ;) He thought of how Lightbright had their name taken from the Lite-Brite product, also by Hasbro, and thought it would be fun to toss in a few more references with some of the NPCs. You'll meet a few more in the next chapter or so!

- Newly forged Cybertronians (and presumably cold-constructed bots as well, though the practice isn't really used anymore, I would assume) are fed a 'starter package' of information during the forging process. It is directly uploaded to their brain module before they come online, and includes all of the basics one would need to get up to speed, or at least get close. Things like body functions, languages, cultural facts, history, etc., though some of the context may be missing -- basically, they have access to the Cybertronian version of the Internet right out the gate, and the means to comprehend the world around them. In play, the ease with which they are able to access this information (like if somebody starts talking about the war, or some other historical event or person) is usually decided by something like a History check.

- In this version of Cybertronian culture, the default when referring to someone you don't know is 'they/them', though bots may adopt different pronouns and refer to/introduce themselves as such. The concept of gender wasn't hard-wired into Cybertronians originally, and really only came into play once they began interacting with other planets/cultures; some folks decided they liked it and rolled with it, until it spread and became common. These concepts are now included in forging 'starter package',  and I imagine that bots kind of just use their preference(s) instinctually, though of course it may change over time.

I am welcome to critique, both technical and... narrative(? I don't know if that's quite the word or not), though keep in mind that some of these things may not change given that it's a retelling of a collaborative and building narrative and it is tuned primarily for our enjoyment. On the flip side, some of it is likely to change, as I discover more about the world that I'm not privy to at the moment. Also we forget things a lot, so even during the actual session a decent amount of accidental retcons happen.

I will admit, particularly during the next part, it feels like it treads into Mary Sue territory... and that's another reason why I'm a little nervous to share all this. But like I said, we never said it was good, just fun and perfect for us. If all this turns out to be is a writing exercise/chronicling of our campaign, that's totally fine and all it was really meant to be! But if someone else has fun with it along the way, well that's great, too! :))

And finally, just 'cause I want to note it for myself, the bots introduced in this chapter are:

Lightbright (canon character, she/her?) A blacksmith -- the one who helped forge Requiem.

Wing (canon, he/him?) Also a blacksmith? I would assume so, though technically I don't think the DM has confirmed it, and also Requiem wouldn't really know anyway. Went to get the unnamed doctor(?) after helping Lightbright move Requiem.

Kaput (canon, ???/???) Spark specialist.

Electroprobe (OC, they/them) Anatomy specialist?

????? (?????, ???/???) Doctor? I mean, they're white and red and in a medical facility, so something of the sort at least.

Requiem Fall (of Grand Mal) (player character, they/them) Newly forged. Has had a bit of a rough morning.