#and how while humans are violent we are worth saving

[hrizantemy]

I said to Tamlin, my back ramrod straight, “You don’t get to speak to me like that. You promised you wouldn’t act this way.”

“You have no idea what’s at risk—”

“Don’t you talk down to me. Not after what I went through to get back here, to you. To our people. You think any of us are happy to be working with Hybern? You think I don’t see it in their faces? The question of whether I am worth the dishonor of it?” His breathing turned ragged again. Good, I wanted to urge him. Good. “You sold us out to get me back,” I said, low and cold. “You whored us out to Hybern. Forgive me if I am now trying to regain some of what we lost.” Claws slid free. A feral growl rippled out of him. “They hunted down and butchered those humans for sport,” I went on. “You might be willing to get on your knees for Hybern, but I certainly am not.” He exploded. Furniture splintered and went flying, windows cracked and shattered. And this time, I did not shield myself.

The worktable slammed into me, throwing me against the bookshelf, and every place where flesh and bone met wood barked and ached. My knees slammed into the carpeted floor, and Tamlin was instantly in front of me, hands shaking— The doors burst open.

This scene is one of the most twisted examples of how the fandom—and Feyre herself—manipulates the narrative when it comes to Tamlin.

Let’s break this down:

1. Feyre’s Intentional Provocation

Feyre wanted this reaction. That’s undeniable. Look at her internal monologue:

“Good, I wanted to urge him. Good.”

She is deliberately pushing Tamlin to the edge, goading him into losing control. This isn’t an innocent conversation where emotions spiral out of hand—this is Feyre calculatedly provoking someone she knows is volatile, emotionally compromised, and deeply unstable after everything that’s happened.

She came back to Spring Court with the explicit goal of destroying it from within. She wanted Tamlin broken, isolated, and enraged. And when he reacts violently—not even directly attacking her, but lashing out at his surroundings in a loss of control—she welcomes it. She doesn’t shield herself on purpose so that there’s a physical consequence.

This is not to excuse Tamlin’s outburst—because yes, losing control like that is dangerous. But this wasn’t some random act of cruelty. Feyre engineered this moment. She weaponized his trauma, his guilt, and his desperation.

2. Context Matters

Tamlin is a male who has:

• Been manipulated by Ianthe.

• Seemingly sold out to Hybern out of a desperate, grief-stricken attempt to save Feyre.

• Watched his entire court slip into chaos.

• Been lied to, abandoned, and humiliated.

Feyre knows exactly what mental state he’s in. And rather than handle it with any sense of maturity or strategic distance, she taunts him about being a traitor, a whore, and someone who kneels for Hybern—when she knows damn well he thought he was saving her life.

3. The Double Standard

The fandom excuses Rhysand constantly for far worse behavior—mind control, threats, manipulation, and even outright abuse of power—because he’s “traumatized” or “had no choice.”

But when Tamlin, a character who clearly struggles with emotional regulation and grief, explodes after being intentionally provoked, suddenly he’s irredeemable?

Where is that same energy for Rhysand threatening to make the Autumn Court bleed because Lucien drew a sword? Or Cassian snapping because Nesta irritated him?

Feyre walked into this scene knowing exactly what she wanted to happen. She didn’t protect herself because she wanted a bruise—something to hold against him, to further justify her sabotage and to make herself the victim.

4. Feyre’s Hypocrisy

Feyre has repeatedly used her trauma as justification for her behavior—but gives Tamlin none of that grace. She acts as if he should be perfectly composed while she’s actively tearing his court apart.

She’s not confronting Tamlin out of a desire for closure, justice, or even protection of others—she’s doing it to provoke a reaction.

Conclusion: Why I’ll Never Blame Tamlin Fully For This Scene

Because this wasn’t a one-sided act of violence. This was a calculated emotional attack from Feyre, designed to push Tamlin into snapping so she could justify her actions and further vilify him.

Did Tamlin lose control? Yes.

Is that dangerous? Yes.

But was this entirely his fault? Absolutely not.

Feyre wanted this. She orchestrated it. And the fact that people ignore her role in this moment just proves how skewed the narrative has become.

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: I thought I wasn't going to have strong opinions about the Laios-Shuro fight, but...

Laios was right about this! Yes, they had 2 physical fights first, but it's important to note that Laios was right about this!

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^ -man who would literally kill to stay in this room and observe this private conversation.

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Sir, your unfaltering little wide-eyed, amiable smile while seriously considering topics that are obviously un-smile-worth has charmed me utterly. I wish to study you like an climate-entomologist yearns for the butterfly that causes storms.

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She seems fine.

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If I start screencapping Laios's and Marcille's faces in this fight, I will never stop because literally every panel is devasting.

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Kuro has done distinctly the most damage so far this fight, just stabbing and gnawing, and I think we should recognize and appreciate that fact.

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I really miss the animation we got of Rin's lightning blast slicing narrowly past Laios.

I love how fast, if reluctantly, Laios accepts that if - not, that Falin is a true "monster", inhuman and hurting people relentlessly and unapologetically, and thus she needs to be killed before she kills them, like any other monster. I also love that Marcille doesn't accept this. Characters!

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+1 to qualification to kingship! Kabru is one again surprised (you can tell by how he's not smiling) (though this might also be due to the significant injuries he just took).

I do have several emotions about how Falin immediately yanks away and kills Kabru, without touching Laios. That's her brother!!

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I really like this little cluster because it says to me that Shuro still has very good "do what Marcille says when she abruptly shouts magic-related directions in combat" instincts. He's a mirror of the "You're already on the Christmas card, buddy" meme - more like, "You're still on the Christmas card." Just like Namari: no one really stops being fond of, and battle companions with, these weirdos.

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I think the most painful part of this probably is that Marcille isn't certain. Maybe this IS her fault. At minimum, she knows she might have mixed the dragon's soul into Falin's, which enabled this even if it didn't create it. But she can't 100% rule out the possibility that it's more her fault than that - which is, of course, the absolute worst thing to say to all of these people looking at her violently askance for using dark magic.

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yeahhhhhh "Lunatic Magician" REALLY lacks the oomph of "Mad Mage"

ANGRY LAIOS! It's such a rare expression on him, it's exciting to see.

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Yesss look at my man Chilchuck use available tools in his environment and save this little goober who thinks it's cool to resent adults.

I really like how they show the social consequences of dark magic. Much beyond Shuro's anger: the other mages are now shutting Marcille down, especially where resurrection magic is concerned. She's made herself untrusted by her peers, whether or not the magic she used on Falin is truly "evil."

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I really enjoy the, like, narratively obligatory, not actually real (well, maybe to Rin) "will they-won't they" between Kabru and Rin. In the story that this isn't, where Kabru is the protagonist with his quirky gang of found family who are helping him save the island and prevent another bloodbath like in his angsty backstory, she IS the One (Human) Female on the Team who is obviously his love interest - often the first to challenge him, battle mage rather than healer ie a Strong Female Character who nonetheless doesn't use unfeminine brute force, forced by happenstance to kiss...

Alas! Kabru is not the protagonist of this story, so Rin shall remain disappointed.

Also this montage of people healing and reuniting while in the background Laios and Shuro whale on each other remains SO funny. Flawless comedic timing.

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Alright, hot take time: I feel like all the debate I've seen about the Shuro/Laios fight depict it as revealing the friendship basically shattered, and never real in the first place. Whereas I'm mostly warmed by how real it clearly was despite everything that just happened?

Shuro is operating on no food and less sleep, desperate to save the woman he idolizes without truly understanding her loves, who is now apparently a monster who nearly slaughtered his most loyal followers. In the past like 2 weeks, Laios has: watched his sister die to save his life (his little sister, whom he is supposed to protect), walked headfirst into a nigh-unwinnable fight to get her back, held her skull in his hands, got her back and held her in his arms, lost her again about 6 hours later in an even more unwinnable fight, which was proven even more unwinnable when the Mage twisted the dungeon itself against them, saw her again but as a murderous monster now (which might be due to the magic he agreed to use to resurrect her), swiftly and sternly resigned himself to fighting and potentially killing her (his little sister! whom he is supposed to protect!), had her recognize him (and no one else!) despite her monstrosity, watched her be killed (again!) in part thanks to him distracting her, except it didn't work and then she fled.

This is an immature, ignoring-immediate-needs (ie, food, healing) knock-down drag-out fight between two men at the absolute ends of their ropes, who, sure, have built-up resentments against each other and the world, and an inciting incident pushing them over the edge - but mostly neither of them can punch in the face the fact that they can't save Falin. So they punch each other instead.

I won't even address the prologue to the fight, where Laios tells him about the black magic and Shuro promptly tries to strangle him then levels a sword at him. Kabru already nailed that: Shuro was worried about Falin - that the magic had hurt her, that the social consequences would be worse. Laios knew this enough that he didn't fight back, then. But now?

The first shove is Shuro demanding, Don't you fucking DARE give me false hope.

I cannot emphasize enough how hard I would also slap someone for suggesting that I wasn't taking the death and monsterization of my younger sibling seriously.

Shuro knows it, too. He doesn't respond to this, he just punches, and Laios punches back. Shuro doesn't speak again until Laios knocks him all the way down, and

Shuro is at his absolute depth. The lowest point he (feels that he) can go. He cannot save Falin. He's shamed himself as a leader and heir by getting his people killed (they got better, but that's beside the point.) He's been beaten in hand-to-hand combat by this idiot northern peasant. He lets down his guard and pride enough to mutter this self-deprecation aloud...and the idiot northern peasant hears, compounding every shame - and it's infuriating especially because he doesn't even hear properly, just like he never hears properly - he's so frustrating in his friendly but oblivious constant irritation and THIS, Shuro can still be furious about, to avoid his grief/hopelessness/self-loathing/shame. This, he can still fight about!

So he does.

They're both wrong in this fight. They're both right. Laios was consistently inconsiderate; knowing this about himself - because it's not like by his early 20s he didn't know that he didn't Get people the way most people Get people - he should've made more of an effort, and picked up any of the hints Shuro was laying down. Shuro was too caught up in his own pride and out-of-place manners: when it was clear that Laios wasn't going to pick up on even the strongest "hint", he should've said something plainly instead of just letting his resentment build until he was effectively lying to Laios about, if not their entire friendship, certainly the shape of it.

But they were friends. They are friends. This isn't the posture or conversation of two guys who don't like each other.

It's two guys who are still, in fact, fucking exhausted, physically and emotionally - but they just got rid of a lot of extra, furious, helpless energy, so they're finally satisfied to just sit. Their posture is relaxed and casual; their conversation straightforward and companionable, if serious.

This is two guys who've sat like this many time at a campfire, in just these poses. Who've kept watch together late at night and stayed awake by talking.

Laios cares about Falin more than anyone in the world, and even after the words and blows they just exchanged, he's still willing to put Shuro's suit to her. Shuro didn't tell Falin he was interested in her until he proposed to her, but he's telling it all to Laios. Admittedly, this is because Laios is, Shuro assumes, the closest he'll ever get to being able to tell it all to Falin...but still. And he admits vulnerability, which he clearly wouldn't have done before, even to his most loyal and loved companions as they urged him to eat and sleep.

Yeah, they're buddies. If I had to describe it, I'd say: their relationship was built on unsteady, false foundations, but they built something sturdy on it anyway, and the sturdy thing survives even when the foundations shake and re-settle.

Lol at Shuro. "I'm going to report you to the local authorities for your crimes because it's the right thing to do. But if you survive, I'll totally use my power and influence to help you flee the country, and live peacefully on my estate beyond where an extradition treaty can reach you."

[see-arcane]

As a fan of the book Dracula and Dracula-adjacent media, I am very used to disappointment. I can still clap when the media is impressive while pretending the characters do not have the names they have. After enough trailers and interviews, I see Nosferatu 2024 is now sadly in that category, RIP to Thomas and Ellen Hutter, the un-Harkers set to get the Francis Ford Coppola treatment ala Robert Eggers. But if directors can play dolls and make the Mina/Ellen character do bloodstained kissy kissy with Dracula/Orlok, I can do this:

ACTUALLY SUBVERSIVE IDEAS I’D BE COOL WITH IN NOSFERATU (2024) FROM LEAST TO MOST COOL

Idea I’d Be Least Cool With, But Seems Eggers-shaped:

Ellen goes full Thomasin x Black Phillip, giving into the darkness~ ooh she loves her some Orlok, talk cadaverous to me babey~ And they make out bloody style and devour the puritanical human society because Eggers will pull a del Toro and make 99.99% of the human characters assholes not worth saving from the Horrors. Maybe Thomas and un-Van Helsing are left standing, maybe not. But it’s basically the Eggers MO of Monsters/Myths > Humans, however innocent or evil, extra dark ominous ending.

Idea I’d Be Somewhat Cooler With:

Ellen is 2 goth 4 U Thomas. But she’s also not oblivious to how Orlok is going to drink everyone. Which is bad. So she’ll 1) embrace her own dark inner lust and monstrosity~ while also 2) pulling a Bride of Frankenstein climax (We belong dead.) to see to it that she and Orlok are destroyed by sunrise. Not a ‘She was too pure for this sinful Earth!’ ending, but a ‘She was too gothique and eager to monsterfuck to hang around with you prudes. But fiiine she’ll destroy herself and her beloved Orlok to save you all or whatever. :/’ Which is slightly better than the scenario of un-Van Helsing and/or Thomas executing her and Orlok. So. Sure. Vampiric murder suicide, dying with her True Orlok Love (Orlove) uwu

Idea I’d Actually Be Pretty Cool With:

Eggers says he’s focusing on the sex/death drive and love story of Nosferatu (many asterisks here). If he has the guts for it, he’ll turn it on its expected heel and do the unthinkable—put a magnifying glass on Orlok getting very weird with Thomas. Who he drinks from first. And leaves imprisoned rather than outright killing him.

“But how do you explain him coming at Ellen’s invitation? What about the whole locket scene??”

Well, that’s where the bittersweet bit happens. Heavy on the bitter. Because if Eggers wants to really put his heel down on the horror part of vampirism and Dracula’s original MO, this would be the perfect point to do a bait and switch with Ellen herself. She wants Orlok? Wants him to ravish and drink her and make her one of his undead so they can be vampires together forever and ever?

“You want me. My touch, my gift. This I know. But the question remains,” cue that sharp little rat grin, “why would I ever want you?” Remember; the only one that explicitly craved what Dracula had to offer in the novel and in Nosferatu was the Renfield character. The one who saw the Count as a means to their end, who pined for him and what he could give. Bar the more sexual/amorous elements with Eggers-Ellen, she’s going after the same thing. This, when Classic Dracula is very much about preying on those who are terrified of and/or loathe him—he’s a conqueror, not a suitor. If you want it, he doesn’t want you. So it’s very possible that Ellen’s unwittingly set herself up for not only disappointment, but a potentially violent end.

“Sounds fucked up. But again, where’s the ‘love story’ bit? What’s up with him taking the locket?”

The locket that Thomas had. Of his wife, who he loves. Who he risked death and worse to crawl his way home to. Who, if he’s anything more like the novel Jonathan Harker he was based on, would become aware of Ellen’s condition/Orlokian preference and simply be heartbroken, yet still unable to turn against her. Ever.

Thomas Hutter’s heart belongs to Ellen, breaking or not. Thomas is also the one who Orlok clings to like his own shadow for the entire stay in the castle. The locket is taken not because it’s an image of Ellen <3, but because it’s an image of the competition/distraction for Orlok’s pet real estate agent who he is Very Normal about. And this is all supposing he doesn't just outright destroy the locket in a petty rage, per the vile thing-mirror scene.

The climax comes with Orlok about to off Ellen, only for Thomas to arrive and offer a trade. Him for her. Orlok takes the deal, latching happily onto Thomas and setting himself up for the sunrise trap. It would make sense. It would boot the old Reinforced Hetero rule of ‘he has to be drinking a pure maiden for it to work!!’ It would be genuinely subversive and tragic as a gothic love triangle, perhaps capped with un-Van Helsing arriving too late and finding Ellen grieving over the corpse of Thomas, Orlok having gone to burning dust as he fed.

Which could lean toward a special knife twist ending in itself:

Ellen mourns not just what was lost, but what she threw away, not realizing what she had in Thomas until he died for her. Tragique. ...Unless.

Ellen refuses to let un-Van Helsing ‘desecrate’ Thomas’ corpse with stake and saw. In fact, she kills him outright when he tries. Cut to the next evening, where Ellen sits patient and unblinking at Thomas’ bedside. The sun goes down. Cue some implying beat in which we realize that Ellen’s clocked that she’s been misinterpreting her prophetic dreams all this time. An epiphany that comes to fruition as we see her smile at some sudden change off-screen while facing Thomas’ cadaver on the bed.

The Embodiment of Death she was pining for was never Orlok, but Thomas. Rather, Thomas fully metamorphosed into Nosferatu.

“Come to me,” she whispers. “Hear my call…”

Thomas hears. A claw-tipped hand raises up to hers. The wedding ring on it gleams.

The End. (?)

It won’t happen. I know it won’t happen. But goddamn would I love to be proven wrong.

[dotthings]

Despite Dean trying to distance from Benny once they’re on earth, when Benny’s in trouble, Dean’s there. The strength of a bond formed in combat. Brothers in arms. And something else comes across in their dynamic too, and while it’s not acknowledged canon, by Carver era of spn, oh you can bet that was deliberate subtext and queer coding. But there’s also this brothers-in-arms friendship they have and Benny and Dean connecting and Benny clearly knows Dean and what makes him tick.

“You and that whole friend thing, man...good to know you’re still dumb as ever.”

Cas and Benny glaring and bickering at each other with Dean in the middle going FML. Benny witnessing whatever this…thing…is between Dean and Cas—Benny noticed how close they are, and he seemingly believes Cas isn’t worth it and Dean could do better, but he starts developing a grudging respect for Cas, too. And saves Cas—which is what cements Dean being able to trust Benny. And everyone has excellent chemistry. Sorry we didn’t get a lot more of Dean-Cas-Benny in Purgatory.

Benny, thinking of survival, expresses his doubts about getting Cas through the portal because he’s an angel, not a human soul or a corrupted human soul, and Dean is resolute and absolute in his determination to save Cas and isn’t having it.

“Cas, we’re going to shove your ass through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.”

Benny’s drawn to Dean’s heart, to his loyalty to his friends, even though he wryly scoffs at Dean about it in the present, Benny really likes that about Dean.

VAMPIRATES.

“Our father, he was a jealous god. Kept our family together, but kept us apart from the rest of the world, always at sea. I always did what was best for the nest.” Dean and Benny are so similar, and there’s Dean, a human taught from childhood to kill monsters, seeing himself reflected in a vampire’s experiences, with a controlling father, and dedication to family. But Dean isn’t the only one Benny parallels to. It’s Cas too. Always thinking of the Heavenly host and duty to his father, also a jealous god, Cas isolated from the humans he was stationed on earth to observe, Cas loyal and obedient and dedicated.

And Benny met someone, fell in love, and it changed him, just as Cas met someone, fell in love, and it changed him. There’s even a human/nonhuman romance for Benny to sweeten the pot of parallels. And while Dean never abandons family, nevertheless, he dedicates himself to his quest to save Cas in Purgatory, delaying getting home.

Saving Cas is something Dean wants to do, that he needs to do for himself, as well as him believing Cas deserves to be saved, and his relationship with Cas in itself is a defiance of his father, just as Benny defied his father and broke with his vampire nest, and Cas defied god and the heavenly host.

Cas and Benny’s supernatural families were punitive and violent against acts of defiance. Both Benny and Cas wind up hunted by their own father/their father’s agents. While John isn’t that, there were still punishments while Dean was growing up for him deviating from his father’s orders.

“We’re real. Benny, this is real.”

Where did Cas learn the emotional realness he speaks to Dean in early S15, where did Cas learn that connections between people is the one realest thing out there? From Dean, starting from S4.

“This is my story, you gnat. It ends the way I choose. Not you.” Benny’s vampire sire sure does have controlling Chuck vibes.

And like Sam and Dean and Cas, Benny will rip up the rulebook and make his own choices, make his own story, even if he’s in a trap still.

Benny in another Cas parallel: he can’t figure out why Dean resurrected him, doesn’t think he deserves to be saved. Benny wanted to get out of Purgatory so badly but once he does, he feels he deserves to be there, while Cas refuses to leave Purgatory, believing he deserves to be there, to pay penance for the things he’s done.

[yourflame]

Silver's 'Future' headcanon / lore excerpt.

Despite their best efforts, an inevitable 'disaster' overtakes the world, but not in some type of major catastrophic event. It's a more at-home disaster that we all know about... aka climate change, and the slow inevitability of nature reclaiming what man-and-mobian-kind took from it - but in an incredibly violent and defensive manor. Some factions of power remain, corrupt, and fall apart, while others adapt and change. Governments and organizations rise and fall, but the tenacity to survive never runs out.

There are four main 'powers' of interest in this future (granted there's a lot more to it than that as different nations maintained their individuality and are still around, i'm mostly focusing on the power factions that relate to Silver).

G.U.N, which has reached a critical level of corruption within it's ranks due to a mix of lust for money and power, and the decline in human population. it's become less about protecting the planet and more about controlling the masses, and so they are constantly waring with rebel factions.

Those rebel factions being the 'Restoration' and the 'Reformation' - both broken factions of what we know to be the original Resistance / Restoration back in Sonic's time. Leadership and ideals changed within the Restoration as leadership changed, similar to what went down with G.U.N and eventually the principals for what the Restoration stood for no longer reflected what the people stood for. And so, a rebellion within the rebellion occurred, and now we have two rival factions.

The Badniks - aka what remains of Eggman's legacy... a self sustaining badnik army, lead by none other than Neo Metal Sonic.

LOCATIONS OF INTEREST.

New Mobius. a civilization rebuilt by the Restoration on the ruins of South Island. It is a cultural hub for Mobians and Humans alike that fled sought out safety from the rising tides.

It is also a highly technologically advanced place and received a lot of their assets from GUN. The Restoration has a shaky 'alliance' with GUN, though many citizens of New Mobius are highly distrustful of the corrupt super power (hence why the Reformation branched off)

It is worth noting the climate of the world in Silver's future is not the same as it is today. It's impossibly warm and humid, and while vegetation is over abundant and lush - it's also quite infectious and almost pest like in nature with how rapidly it grows (it's a problem that poses a genuine threat at times), hence why many of the futuristic cities are scrawling with plants and flora. Speaking of, many of the newer cities are built at higher altitudes in order to escape the rising seas (South Island as we once knew it is almost practically swallowed up by the ocean - save for the inlands and mountain-scapes where the water levels can't reach) - there are older 'first draft' civilizations that were abandoned on South Island that serve as time capsules at it's coastlines.

The Old World. or what remains of it. It is what can be considered this time-period's version of vast, sprawling wild life and uninhabited nature, growing from the bones of old cities and abandoned domestication. There are multiple GUN bases that still operate in these parts of the world, as are there still civilizations and countries that persevered and adapted in their own ways - these zones are especially overtaken by nature and vegetation, and the humidity gets so bad that it's very common for ground level structures to be completely swallowed by fog and mist.

This is also where the Reformation commonly operates too, as they are are often times working to undermine GUN forces and interfere with inhumane operations. There is a suspicion / conspiracy that GUN is also in cahoots with Neo Metal, or may even actually be ran by Neo Metal.

The Dead Zones. parts of the world that are completely ruined by pollution and chemical corruption from Eggpan's old bases. It's incredibly common to find badniks running rampant here, that will attack without reason.

[lastsubstance]

How the TS gang feels about Ais

(The Alchemist.) When everyone disperses and you have to choose who to follow.

Asking about Ais.

You follow Kuras.

MC: Have you been out to see Ais at the Seaspring?

Kuras: Once.

MC: Only once? Seems like a spring with miraculous powers would interest a doctor.

A long silence follows, so long that I’m not sure Kuras heard me. I’m about to repeat myself when he finally speaks in a near-whisper.

Kuras: Ais is the rare newcomer who has proven himself immediately worthy of respect.

               The Seaspring is…another matter. Hidden depths often contain unwelcome secrets.

MC: You could say that about anything around here.

Kuras: A fair point. Nonetheless, I have seen many purported wonders, and the Seapsring is unlike any other. Only time will tell what that means.

You follow Leander.

MC: So, you’re friends with Ais?

Leander: Have been for a while, but he’s rarely in town. Where’d you run into him?

MC: The Seaspring.

Leander chokes on his drink. He coughs violently into his fist before giving me a surprised look.

Leander: You went all the way out there. How’d he treat you?

—OPTION SELECT—(Select "He was honest")—

MC: He was honest. He told me about how the Seaspring’s power comes with a heavy price.

Leander: Losing your mind, becoming one of his funny brainless pets.

He sighs, pausing before he speaks again.

Leander: Does that sound worth it to you?

MC: The only pets he has are Soulless.

Leander: Yeah, I know. I didn’t mean it like that. Ais has my respect and takes care of his own.

For a moment, Leander stares deep into the bottom of his glass. When he looks up again, the circles of his eyes seem even deeper than usual.

Leander: All those red-eyed minions creep me out. Can we talk about something else?

—OPTION SELECT—(Select "He was intimidating")—

MC: Intimidating, to be honest.

Leander: Don’t let it get to you. Ais does well in Eridia because he knows how to scare people.

MC: He’s a Monster. You really don’t think he’s a threat?

Leander: Not in the slightest.

               I like to think of us as rivals. We like to keep each other on our toes, you know?

MC: Don’t you think being rivals with a Monster is a bad idea? If he wanted to disembowel you, it’d be easy.

Leander: No, no, it’s not that serious. Sure, Ais likes to toe lines on purpose.

               But he’s not such a bad guy once you get to know him…

Leander sighs and takes a swig from his glass.

You follow Mhin.

MC: You don’t seem to like Ais…

Mhin: I don’t like anyone, but especially not that bloodthirsty gangster.

The words tumble from their mouth before I can even finish my sentence.

MC: Did he do something to you?

Mhin: Beyond existing? No, but I’m not waiting around to get hurt first.

               The Seaspring he runs, with all those smiling red-eyed people? I suppose his one saving grace is that he hasn’t forced anyone to drink from it. Yet.

               Monsters like him don’t know or care about what they have. It makes me sick.

Their voice echoes down the empty street, startling me.

I blink, staring at them.

MC: You really don’t like Monsters, do you?

Mhin fixes me with a flat gaze, their pale eyes like chips of ice.

Mhin: Every Monster forced their way out of the Shroud and into the world for some reason.

               I may not know Ais’s reason, but to the vast majority of Monsters, humans are food, playthings, or beneath notice.

               That may simply be their nature, but I don’t have to like it.

               And I’m not going to risk my life in the hopes that any one of them is different.

A lot of humans fear or hate Monsters, but there’s something different about how Mhin talks about them. It sounds personal.

You follow Vere.

MC: I’d like to know more about Ais. You two seem close.

Vere: He made an impression, hm? Not surprising. He’s strong, ruthless, easy on the eyes.

               Gives it almost as well as he takes it, even if he’s awfully greedy.

               Big…everywhere really.

               Bit simple, but you know what they say about still waters.

I don’t. But I’m too distracted by the change that’s come over Vere to ask.

A coy smile plays at his lips as he winds a finger around the chain dangling from his collar.

MC: I thought you didn’t like many people

Vere: Ais isn’t most people. He’s better. He –

Our eyes meet, and Vere’s expression curdles.

He makes a tiny sound of distaste in the back of his throat.

Vere: He’s more trouble than he’s worth.

               Dangerous, too. Stay far away from him and those red-eyed freaks if you value your safety or your sanity.

MC: Is that why you scolded me for going to the Seaspring? I really don’t think Ais is as bad as you’re saying.

Vere: You don’t know him. Not like I do.

The corner of his lip twitches.

[assholeinahat]

You know what? I'm going to introduce all my characters! It's not very professional, but how can I share my art when no one knows what is is art of? So here's a basic list of my original characters! (The ones I have art of anyway)

Enjoy!

Victoria Ace:

Victoria is my favorite OC. She started out as a creepypasta self insert but evolved beyond that. She is stuck traveling to different dimensions (different prices of media I like). In most realities, she keeps her memories, but it's different in every reality. Her main goal is to make a life for herself while also not forgetting who she is and was. (Her biggest fear is losing herself and forgetting everything that makes her her)

She's cocky, sarcastic, and a bit reckless, but she is also deeply troubled and understanding of others. And yes, she is a cat girl.

Phil (he doesn't have a last name, suggestions would be appreciated):

Phil is a man struggling through the Zombie apocalypse. His sister died 11 years ago at the start of the outbreak, and he had been aimlessly wandering since. At least until he found Mark.

After getting kicked out of a survivor group, the two of them are making their way to the fabled survivor camp, a camp rumored to have completely rebuilt society. The only problem? Mark isn't being entirely honest about who he is.

Phil is standoffish and rude upon first meeting, but the more you get to know him, the more you realize he just wants companionship and purpose. He's a bit rough around the edges, but at his core, he is a very kind man.

I don't have a design for Mark yet, but fun fact, he used to be the main character of my story before I got incredibly attached to his boyfriend, uh, friend, and made Phil the main character.

Evagline:

This is Evaglin! A fairytale obsessed creature who spent most of her life completely isolated, no plants, no animals, nothing. She spent her days collecting small trinkets and any remnant of the human world. Her favorites are a cute flower necklace, the dictionary, and a partly burnt, big book of fairytales.

Eventually, after years of being alone, Evagline runs into two idiots who accidentally lose their portal travel gun. This allows Evagline to start traveling the universe! Unfortunately, her unauthorized use of portal travel does not go unnoticed by the company the two idiots were working for, and to keep their job, they have to track down Evagline and bring her back to her old, lonely life.

Evagline is sweet and kind, if not a bit neive. She loves learning and starts taking notes on her travels! She also loves art and she makes her own clothes. She communicates through strange noises, which can be understood by anyone, much to their confusion.

She had always wished she could have a knight in shining armor come save her, and to her, the two idiots did just that.

I love Evagline! She's s just a fun little character I made, and I love her so much!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, WE HAVE...

Berry:

My profile picture! Now, it's no secret that I hate the Helluva universe, but did you know I created my own self insert to beat up Stolas and "fix" problems in the show? Well that's what Berry is!

Berry is a creature created by the Angels to "enforce the law" in Hell after Lucifer locked himself away. She was created without morals, so she would do her job without the risk of turning against the angels. She was also assigned two partners. Former humans that were chosen for one reason or another. It's these two former humans that show her the meaning of living, but also just how tight of a leash the angels have her on.

She hates the sinners, and she is very vocal about it. She is incredibly violent and has a punch first question later mentality. And over her time in Hell, she has to learn that not all sinners are as bad as she was made to believe (because in this version, some sinners are actually worth saving). She also falls in love with the Princess of Hell. But that's a story for another time.

She is violent, grumpy, and angry. But with the help of her companions, she might just she able to change for the better.

Her main goal is to beat up Stolas, something she is not allowed to do because of his status.

Berry is actually another dimension traveling self insert, but instead of being one person traveling, like Victoria, she just has alternate versions of herself. And most of the time, she is horrible. (She actually started as a Princesses Jules self insert, made to assure Aria actually faces consequences. Basically, the mean girl stereotype, but who is actually the hero.)

.......................................……………………………………………………

That is all for now! Thank you if you got this far!

♡♡♡

[pinnedangel]

yes closer by nine inch nails is a really hot song for regular reasons but to fully understand its effect you need to consider its place in the larger narrative of the downward spiral. your narrator is a man who, throughout the first third of the album, has just been through all of the events that kick off his spiral of complete and utter self destruction. the painful betrayal of someone he used to trust, which he cannot even admit to himself hurt him in any way. the utter loss of faith in a religion he was clinging onto, because he cannot conceptualize of a loving god in the face of the suffering christianity has brought upon him and the world in general. and lastly the violent subjugation that authority and society at large has used to pick him apart no matter how much he tries to please them. all of that leading into a song that on contextless listen mostly sounds like it's about desperate animalistic sex. which it is. but once you take those events into consideration, it becomes so much more clear that there is also the gorgeously erotic desperation of a man who is beginning to lose touch with humanity because of the violence wrought upon him, seeking to redirect that violence through sex in order to feel any sort of power. it's in how much the narrator emphasizes that the subject is "letting him" violate/desecrate/penetrate. it's in how much baggage saying that the subject brings him closer to god has when two songs ago he was screaming about god being dead because of the manipulative nature of his experience with religion, being brought closer to god now taking on the meaning of being able to desecrate her entirely. it's in the focus on the primal senses he's feeling, the desire to get away from himself and his sense of reasoning, when in the broader narrative this is the last point before the narrator actively starts to distance himself from humanity and become more machine than man. it's in the fact that when he says "you make me perfect," that is essentially the only positive thing he says about himself or anyone else throughout the entire album, and it is directly followed up with "help me become somebody else."

essentially, it's about using sex as a method of feeling anything pleasurable at all when you feel like you're at your lowest (and then getting even lower afterwards). it's about feeling like you are stuck in an absolutely horrific life where you hate every fiber of your being and are utterly powerless against any of the forces keeping you there, but the one thing that is holding you together and convincing you that you are worth anything as a person is the animalistic sense of power you have over someone else by means of subjugating them sexually. which. once you have context for them, all of those things make the song even hotter.

and all of that of course feeds into the reasons why, while closer is undeniably an incredibly hot song, the hottest song on the downward spiral is reptile. where the narrator, now having lost all humanity, returns to this same person because of what we now learn is (at least to him in his machine-state) her sexual manipulation towards him. faded behind the last chorus, you can hear him begging her to let him go, screaming no, even begging her not to hurt him in some live performances of the song. (i recommend listening to the woodstock 94' performance in particular to hear the begging and screaming better, but that's also because i'm normal about trent reznor covered in mud.) i could go on about this but i will save us all time and conclude with if you, like me, enjoy emotionally damaging freak sex as well as industrial music, you can and should be beating your meat to all of the downward spiral and not just closer, not because closer is not worth jacking it to, but because it is even more worth jerking that thing to closer when you know just how fucked up the sex they're having is. thank you and goodnight.

[fantasyinvader]

I got a copy of Drakengard 3 recently, after watching some reviews of the series again. It was kinda nuts watching this one guy go on about how he couldn't believe that it was created by the same guy who did the Nier series even if Nier is a spin-off of Drakengard. But this guy took the games by themselves, didn't back it up with the supplementary materials and interviews like Clemps does.

To me, Drakengard 3 makes sense considering one thing: Yoko Taro hates the little sister type of character. It's why he created Furiae in the first place, a sister character who acted as a damsel in distress while at the same time having incestuous thoughts towards her brother. Throw in Inuart and I'd probably start comparing it to Sacred Stones non-stop. But really, all the characters in the first game were kinda shitty: Caim is psycho, Arioch kills and eats children after her own were killed, Leonard is into little boys and Seere is an annoying child. But what the reviewer said about how despite the fucked up nature of Drakengard's world it's still worth saving even if it was the likes of Caim and his companions to do so.

In Drakengard 2 Caim's love for Angelus (his dragon) sees him attempt to break the seals, dooming the world he saved, so that he can reunite with her.

So, what I was thinking is that Zero was meant to be like the first game, she's the last person you'd expect to save the world. How does she do so? First, she kills her “little sisters” and then she herself dies to her dragon, preventing the flower from destroying the world. She is the complete opposite of your typical female character as well; violent, vulgar, abusive, and pure is the furthest thing from Zero. Hell, she starts missions in a white dress that quickly gets stained with blood. She's not a big sister character, or a love interest, or a warm mother figure, Zero is just Zero.

But then you look at the Little Sisters of the game. One tries to present herself as Zero's complete opposite, but while she wants to save the world she can't bring herself to kill her sisters aside from Zero but her methods won't work either. Two is the quirky positive girl, someone who breaks under the weight of the setting. Three is the little sister who plays with dolls, but this ends up being creepy due to human experiments. Four tries to be the pure little sister, but this just means she's a liar who abuses her own partner, while Five is the well-endowed hedonist taken to it's logical conclusion. They all feel like they are some sort of female archetype, their designs being directly inspired by Madoka doesn't help either.

To me, it's making sense. Zero kills her sisters in part because Yoko Taro hates little sisters, but also because they represent stereotypical anime portrayals of girls. Meanwhile, Zero goes against everything anime wants women to be aside from attractive. What's more, despite the fact that the world has repeatedly kicked Zero down into the mud, she still wants to save it even if it means she herself will die. The fact Furiea was meant to rep Taro's distain for bland forgettable heroines, "who are demure, passive, "virtuous" women who exist only to look pretty and be fought over as a prize for the protagonist"... Zero was his attempt to create the exact opposite.

Can we get an episode of Death Battle where she fights Edelgard?

[veliseraptor]

For the ILCBLT AU, AU where after 10 plus years of domestic bliss XXC dies. Not suicide or murder, could be a lightning strike if you want.

I knew I'd kind of written something for this in the past but it took me forever to find it - I did eventually though! although that's specifically about if both Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan die, which is different.

I can say that it would absolutely wreck both Xue Yang and Song Lan, and a-Qing, but in this case with the 10 years of background they wouldn't fall apart relationship-wise and I think would be more able to lean on each other.

the main issue here is going to be that Xue Yang's inclination, immediately, is "okay, this is a resolvable problem, we just bring him back from the dead" which is not going to fly with Song Lan very well, except for the part of him that is like BUT WHAT IF but also...he knows that's not what Xiao Xingchen would want, he knows it's an abomination against nature that would be imprisoning Xiao Xingchen's soul never to reincarnate, he knows it's the wrong thing to do.

and yet with Xue Yang pressuring him, stalled on the "denial" stage of grief, it is very difficult to hold steady, because Song Lan is human: he wants Xiao Xingchen back, he wants him with them, but it just. He just. How can he conscience such a thing?

Xue Yang, as I said, is totally stuck in denial. He's just not going to accept it! He was always going to die first of the three of them, obviously, his daoshi are going to cultivate to immortality and he won't and that's fine, he can live with it and just enjoy what he has while it lasts. only then Xiao Xingchen goes and dies (probably night hunting accident), how can he just do that, that's not allowed, and Song Lan won't let him fix it because Song Lan thinks it's "wrong" or whatever even though Xue Yang can see he obviously misses Xiao Xingchen too--

there are definitely hurtful words thrown around. Xue Yang almost certainly brings up how Song Lan "abandoned" Xiao Xingchen before and that would set off Song Lan's temper and probably the worst fight they've had in a long time. I don't think Xue Yang would do anything hideous about it - long habit, if nothing else, and he would be clinging to Song Lan as a tether enough to keep him from lashing out physically. but it would be pretty vicious and might lead to Xue Yang taking off (Song Lan's favorite habit of his, and in this case even more terrifying than usual, because Xue Yang isn't the only one clinging a little)

a-Qing has forged a life for herself, for what it's worth, but Xiao Xingchen is still her first friend, her older brother, the person who as good as saved her life and gave her a home, and she is very, very close to siding with Xue Yang on the whole resurrection thing and just barely holding back from it because she, too, recognizes it's not what Xiao Xingchen would want, and she has more respect for that than Xue Yang does.

Xue Yang sometimes thinks that Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan just are tragically misguided about things and don't quite understand stuff and therefore he has to step in and do it for them. sometimes he is right about this (with Xiao Xingchen and money, for instance); sometimes he is decidedly not right about this.

if/when Xue Yang eventually does have to move past the denial phase - if he doesn't sidestep Song Lan and just resurrect Xiao Xingchen anyways, though I'm pretty sure Song Lan would be fairly vigilant to keep that from happening - it's going to be a pretty ugly thing, because Xue Yang does not know how to cope with grief at all. Like most of his feelings, it's big and violent and also unfamiliar. that makes it very scary and overwhelming and uncontrollable.

so now Song Lan (and a-Qing) are trying to handle that while also handling their own grief, which is fun for everybody.

Xue Yang would definitely prefer the murder. then at least he has someone he can blame, and revenge to fall back on.

and incidentally I do think in that scenario there wouldn't be any stopping him from taking revenge, even if Song Lan were to try. and in honesty I'm not sure how hard he would try, depending on the circumstances.

[allocate-aloe]

Can you guys believe it's only been a week.

A GOT-DANGIT WEEK. IT FEELS LIKE CENTURIES.

Listen, I know so many of us are scared, disassociating, and angry. I'm currently doing all three at the same time! Just know that you matter, your existence matters, the world is a better place with you in it. I feel that a lot of us realized how much women, especially women of color, are actually seen in the United States and it's atrocious. I'm not surprised, but I'm disgusted anyways.

One thing that my writing gives me is catharsis. I get to write about toxic masculinity and how stupid it makes both men and women. My male characters are not just shallow, cardboard cut-outs for sexual fantasy, they contain real ideals and themes that continue to infect our society. The idea of a hyper-violent man that would destroy the world to protect someone he loves is a fantasy that many women have, that we ARE worth burning the world down for. Unfortunately, that's not reality.

The reality is that many men use women, especially white women, as tools to continue their sense of control over those they deem as 'lesser than'. (My white supremacist grandfather from Arkansas said it was about 'keeping everyone in line', including women.) And many women play into this because they think they aren't being targeted, that they will also be saved if they show how useful they are to these types of men. They don't realize their necks are still on the block, even when they lay down their heads willingly. They don't realize that this hatred extends to themselves, as well. That's why the 'pick me' mentality doesn't work.

I wish I could say that we all will be okay, but I feel that we all know better than that. What I can say is that we have each other, we have our found families, we have our communities, and we no longer have to tolerate catering to people who see us as sub-human. They will feel these consequences, even if they lack the mental capacity to self-reflect and understand their own actions caused all of it. Let them. We're used to this fight. Women and the LGBTQ+ community have been fighting for thousands of years to establish and retain human rights. While coddled, wealthy white men scream about egg prices and how they have a right to a woman's body.

It's okay to feel scared, angry, disgusted, and hopeless. But don't let it defeat you. I will be channeling these feelings and destructive themes into my artwork, as I know many creatives will also do. Art is a foundation of resistance, it is integral to our culture. It motivates, comforts, and inspires the people that it's meant for.

I will be taking a short break to recover my center, so there will not be an update this week. I feel that it's important we tend to our souls first. Reach out to others experiencing this too. Make your favorite meals. Find connection through your own hobbies and artwork to express these feelings in a healthy way. And most importantly, do not despair. You do not have to fight the current to keep your head above water. Sometimes you just have to lay back and float.

So, let's float through this together, my friends. <3

TLDR; elections are terrifying with real-world consequences. It's okay to take a break if you need to. There won't be an update to the fic this week as I also try to process what is going on. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other. <3

[dream-this-nightmare-over]

Shaun Evans imagine

You can find more of my imagines in my book Imagines on wattpad.

He was down there throwing lavish party in my garden for people who hated my name, pearl skin and necklines in sunlight, raybans, loud music and world i dont belong in he brough them here and didnt even ask me if i am okay with it

He should have known from absence of my smile but he never took time to learn tides of my heart

While i was watchng it all from upstairs window

Curtains flowing between us

Each on one side coming in style banners of silk baby come get your crown when you  call me yours don't you know i would do anything to see you satisfied

You are in blue it suits you so well

You dont anymore wait for ride

You made yourself known that you are one of knights here to stay

We are hiding so they dont catch a glimpse

It irks you to see me anything but happy

Smiling in sunlight

It's casual intimacy that we find in every place just one glance and presence is enough

Ed comes stands between us facing the scene

We stand on sides in curtains

Ed knows by now where my heart lies so he isnt surprised to see you here

You are part of family by now

One of meadow royals

He has very important audition for couple of days and he cant put up with licentious youth. Our meadow is not used to souless debauchery

We are coming up with ideas how to put a stop to all of it

He comes in with someone on his arm but still calls me babe after i tell him there is no more chmpaign

You just stand there all ready to be smart and throw snarky remark but you don't because you are lost trying to come up with world in which i deserve to be treated like this

And i see it takes everything in you not to show how much you care but you wont give away our fairytale in hiding

And i imagine myself dying down on pebbles on driveway in midst of party and him crying, his tears on my lips because underneath all the recklessness he cared otherwise he wouldnt start this charade

But them i reprimand myself for thinking that way and wonder if i romanticize something violent only because i have another pair of hands to fall into if i think of death because i can still sell my youth

Should i leave you in memories before you grow bitter and time makes you disappoint me

and

go with sunlight boys into sunrise of masquerade balls and modernity that will make us hate each other even if we cant speak from love we hold for one another

or

shall i come home to peace you built and step out from behind curtains, free as bird on breeze, unafraid because you are there

and

leave the golden boy to someone else even if it will break his heart that loved me in its own recklessly restless way?

You are apparition transparent mirage of my heavy heart, ethereal promise of days passing but love stays the same as curtains fly on breeze You are mirage on sunny day there but not really there mine but never fully mine because words are too heavy they will sink us before we find courage to reach for the other side You are not him You are more sophisticated you don't throw blame like a bait for end you don't have balls to spell out

In between curtains you are ghost that will disappear if I reach out like particles of dreams I dream translucent stardust I can't keep nor make mine

I am stuck in cage i confined myself to for i hold the key to my freedom fears mean it's worth it i know every lock combination but my mind is lost in daydreams comfortable is killing potential the trill the need to leave please save me from myself give me some of your valour i want to be knight too i know i can be i just need someone to recognize my skill i dont want to live behind curtains with shadows forever i am human i am alive i wasnt born to hide and live out someone's else idea of who i should become 

I feel hand finding mine

And I can breath

Everything will be alright if you never stop believing impossible is possible just beyond the curtain of self imposed fears and doubts.

Tear down that curtain and step into the garden that's growing from your brilliance.

[animechristi]

Made in Abyss: Dying to Self

I put this in the hands of our Lady so she may offer it to her Son.

Matthew 16:25 “For he that will save his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for my sake, shall find it.”

FIRST:

            This may sound weird, but I don’t really recommend Made in Abyss to people anymore. If you’ve already seen it, you and I can’t change the past. If you haven’t seen it, I don’t really think it’s worth watching. My main reasons are because the artist places his character – who are children – in violent scenarios. This would be reason enough for most people. But more maliciously, he sometimes puts these characters in sexually provocative scenarios. I cannot endorse this, nor do I think people should support such an author. Pray for his conversion and for the flourishing of good Christian art.

If St. Paul can go from wanting Christians dead to preaching the gospel, we can pray for the conversion of anyone.

Background (For those who haven’t seen it):

            The city of Orth is situated around a giant chasm in the ground called “The Abyss.” We don’t know how it got there, how deep it goes, or what lies at the bottom. Exploring the Abyss is difficult due to the “Curse.” Going down into the various levels is fine. However, when you begin your climb back to the surface, everyone experiences various ailments. If you’ve only gone down a little, you might get dizzy. If you’ve gone down further, you may vomit or bleed from your eyes or ears. Finally – you if go down far enough – you’ll simply die from the strain of the curse. In rare cases, people don’t die from ascending but instead “lose their humanity” and become some other type of creature.

That’s a nice city you have there, it’d be a shame if there was a giant abyss in the center of it.

What we’re focusing on:

            There’s various ways we could interpret this plot device. First, I’d like to remind readers that affirming one interpretation doesn’t rule out others; nor does affirming two interpretations make everything relative/subjective (cf. our previous article). Our “Catholic viewing lens” this time might seem like a pair of bifocals as we have two seemingly opposed interpretations, but I think you can manage it.

Dying to Self

            Anyone who goes far enough into the Abyss, isn’t going to come back. They have left their life behind. The premise of Made in Abyss is that they’ve left everything behind to find out what’s at the bottom – if there is one. Christians might easily think of Jesus’ parable of a man selling all he has to buy a pearl of great price (Mt 13:45-46). What came to my mind was our opening verse “For he that will save his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for my sake, shall find it.”

            Following Jesus requires a total commitment. We cannot hold onto anything of this world while trying to follow Him or else we will not enter through the narrow gate (cf. Mt 7:13-14). For the main characters Reg and Riko, leaving behind the surface village and diving into the Abyss cuts off any hope of assistance from the surface. Much like in the Christian life, this radical jump of leaving everything behind for Christ is not automatically easy! Reg and Riko almost die many times, and it’s only through the assistance of people they meet along the way – people who have also given up life on the surface – that they are able to continue. We must leave the world behind, but we mustn’t scorn help from those who are also on the Christian path. To do so would be foolish and perhaps deadly for us.

Christ would not have been glorified if He did not lay down His life.

Now for our second view: deadly sin

            We’ve talked about confession before, but this time we’ll focus on mortal, sometimes called “deadly” or “grave” sin. The Catechism says “Mortal sin destroy charity in the heart of man.” The gift of grace we receive at baptism is complete killed by mortal sin. We might say the restless and curious people of Orth forsake the life they have only to find themselves buried alive in the Abyss with no hope of return. Sin not only separates us from God but it also separates us from one another. E.g. in Made in Abyss those who dive deep into the Abyss almost always do so by themselves.

Likewise, a return to a life of grace, a leaving behind of sinful behavior, ascending from the Abyss, will feel like complete death to us. And yet, what does one regain be resurfacing? An environment not hostile to human living, and the presence of a human community. In short, life as it was meant to be lived.

Anything else?

Hopefully this helps you see that whatever you watch next – even if you have to stop watching it for some reason – it can still show us some grain of truth about the Christian life. God bless you all :)

St. Justin Martyr, pray for us!

[rimworldretreats]

Day 66-68

So, my plan for Molt involves the Ancient Danger; a walled in, partly buried ancient facility containing... something violent (usually mechanoids), some valuable loot, and (almost?) always cryptosleep pods. Containing potentially hostile Ancient humans. But if we deal with whatever is in there, Molt can take a long nap while we source some organs and build up the skill and facilities to replace them.

While we plan this, a caravan passes by with "Mongol", a horrid wretch afflicted with bizarre genetics. He has developed an extreme UV sensitivity, to the extent that he passes out in daylight.

This does not stop him going out in daylight. The group rescue him... so many times. And as soon as he can walk, he becomes a guest for a few hours, walks out the door, and face plants. He makes it eventually, possibly after I just leave him on the ground to wait for twilight

Day 68, a group of visitors depart giving a mood score of... 40! That's maybe a 2.5 star review! What ha...

Mongol was still here, apparently he spent *days* passing out because he wouldn't just leave at night. What ups...

What upset the g....

Furlong is becoming A Problem.

While Furlong insults guests and tanks our RimYelp score, for which he will pay, the assault on the ancient danger takes place off screen; there are giant insects instead of mechanoids, which apparently panicked me enough that I didn't take screenshots. We set up bear traps (from Vanilla Furniture Expanded: Security) and sandbags, and had Nose (who has decent melee) break through the wall.

The cryptosleep pods contain wounded or dead Ancients; we actually manage to save all the ones still living by tending them on the spot (Rimworld top tip: check how long the patient has before rescuing them, which drags them back to the nearest bed. Even medical of 2 or 3 with no medicine is worth treating on the spot if the alternative is having 1 hour left to treat 5 gushing wounds.)

Molt collapses on the way to the cryptosleep pod, and has to be dragged the rest of the way by Hinton. His condition is severe enough that I'm actually worried about getting the operations done in time even when we're ready.

And so ends two of the more intense days we've had in quite some time. Who knows what challenges are n...

[lawyeronabike]

Book Talk #3: A Clockwork Orange, Free Will, and Motives of Christian Ethos

Does motive matter in ethics? If you do the "right" thing for the wrong reason, is it still right? If you do the "wrong" thing for the "right" reasons, is it still "wrong"? Put your thinking cap on your gulliver, my droogies. Today, we're examining Anthony Burgess's A Clockwork Orange as a case study in ethics, as well highlighting a major flaw in Christianity (a noble pastime if there ever was one).

Part I: The Plot of A Clockwork Orange

I'll include only what's needed for the analysis here. It's still a book worth reading.

The book can roughly be into three parts. The first third is Alex committing horrible, violent crimes so we understand who he is and why he gets treated the way he does later in the book. After a rape and burglary goes bad, the woman he raped dies, and he is incarcerated for murder.

The next third documents Alex's time in prison, including his volunteering and selection for a clinical trial called "the Ludovico Technique." It a fictional form of aversion therapy that involves Alex watching violent and pornographic films while being injected with drugs to make him nauseous. The technique is a "success." When he leaves the program he becomes violently ill when he gets horny or tries to engage in violence. Admittedly, he was previously a rapist, but this procedure closes off even the possibility of consensual sex. Alex is now also incapable of being violent, this includes an inability to use violence in self defense. Because of the background music that was used in the films, he can't even listen to classical music any more, which used to one of his greatest joys.

(To make sure he watches the film, his eyelids are pried open, with scientists administrating eye drops. It's the definition of a captive audience.)

The last third follows his journey back in the free world. Mostly, it involves him being down on his luck. People are cruel to him, and many of the people he brutalized before going to prison, now seeing his defenseless state, exact revenge on him, beating him senselessly. Many readers feel sympathy for Alex at this point. He's no longer the monster he once was. He literally cannot be. One of the last scenes of the book is him being locked in a room, subjected to the blasting of classical music. To save himself the agony of his conditioning, he autodefenestrates (jumps out the window) in an attempt to kill himself.

The music was still pouring in all brass and drums and the violins miles up through the wall. The window in the room where I had laid down was open. I ittied to it and viddied a fair drop to the autos and buses and walking chellovecks below. I creeched out to the world: ‘Goodbye, goodbye, may Bog forgive you for a ruined life.’ Then I got on to the sill, the music blasting away to my left, and I shut my glazzies and felt the cold wind on my litso, then I jumped.

-A Clockwork Orange: Part 3, Chapter 5

Yes yes. I know left out many important plot points and symbolic details. The entire book is worth reading, and it's not that long either.

Part II: What A Clockwork Orange is Interpreted to Mean

Now that we have essential plot elements laid out, we can ask. Is Alex is now good? Most interpretations of the book at this point conclude that Alex is neither good nor evil. Take for example, an analysis by Thomas C. Foster, a professor emeritus of English at the University of Michigan-Flint. In his 2003 book, How to Read Literature Like a Professor, he states

When his capacity to choose is taken away, evil is replaced not with goodness but with a hollow simulacrum of goodness. Because he still wants to choose evil, he is in no way reformed. In acquiring the desired behavior through the “Ludovico Technique,” . . . society has not only failed to correct Alex but has committed a far worse crime against him by taking away his free will, which for Burgess is the hallmark of the human being.

Morality requires choice. We don't condemn hurricanes for their evil nature. Hurricanes are amoral, as hurricanes have no agency. People are understandably uncomfortable about thinking of human beings as being without free will. It would seem to undermine a core assumption on which society is built. And yet...

Part III: What Burgess Doesn't Get - The Problem of Free Will

For starters, it probably doesn't exist.

Perhaps the believers and the nonbelievers can be one day united in their skepticism of free will. For nonbelievers, there are deterministic arguments. But don't think that let's believers off of the hook.

Many Christians believe in an omniscient god. This appears to be directly incompatible with free will. I figured this out when I was about twelve or thirteen. If god knows I will choose A, then do I have free will to choose B? Not if god is omniscient.

(If "god's plan" is a real thing, then you can kiss free will goodbye)

Part IV: "Good" Things for "Bad" Reasons

So let's take a step back from that for a second and assume, for the sake of argument, that free will exists. Who actually has it in a meaningful sense. Believers? Or nonbelievers?

Many Christians believe that actions on this earth determine your eternal place in heaven or hell, and that your placement there depends on doing various "good works."

(I know it's a theological debate between protestants, who believe in Sola Fide, or faith alone as a ticket to heaven, and Catholics, who believe it requires faith and good works.)

As a further side note, the requirement of faith itself has troubling implications. You don't control your faith. If I asked you to change your religious beliefs, right now, you couldn't' do it. In many respects, your beliefs can better be described as something that happens to you, rather than something you choose.

So assuming there is, in fact, free will, and ignoring the troubling implications of a faith requirement, let's talk about the good works component. Let's say you have a believing Catholic who wants to go to heaven. They are as convinced of heaven and hell and the truth of the bible as they are of gravity. They volunteer to feed the homeless. Did they do so in any meaningful way?

Let's put this another way. Imagine I approach you with a shovel in my hand. I credibly threaten to beat you senseless unless you feed the homeless. You comply. Did you do good by feeding the homeless? Is it even possible to know? If you help other people for a a selfish reason, how should that be morally judged?

These two situations are not so different. If you truly believe in the fire and brimstone, there are only two key differences separating the above scenarios. One is the depth of punishment and reward. Christian hell is a far greater punishment than being beaten with a shovel. The other is immanency. Being sent to hell won't happen immediately, but the catholic still believes it will happen. It seems to me that the punishment being delayed does not actually change the moral calculus. Whether punishment and reward are served immediately or in fifty years, the people in the above scenarios are still acting pro-socaily for selfish reasons. In this way, such a person, like Alex, has become a Clockwork Orange. Organic on the outside, mechanical on the inside, and stripped of any meaningful choice.

The book itself seems to recognize the tension between being a christian and being a person with free will.

‘Choice,’ rumbled a rich deep goloss. I viddied it belonged to the prison charlie. ‘He has no real choice, has he? Self-interest, fear of physical pain, drove him to that grotesque act of self-abasement. Its insincerity was clearly to be seen. He ceases to be a wrongdoer. He ceases also to be a creature capable of moral choice.’

‘He will be your true Christian,’ Dr Brodsky was creeching out, ‘ready to turn the other cheek, ready to be crucified rather than crucify, sick to the very heart at the thought even of killing a fly.’ And that was right, brothers, because when he said that I thought of killing a fly and felt just that tiny bit sick, but I pushed the sickness and pain back by thinking of the fly being fed with bits of sugar and looked after like a bleeding pet and all that cal.

-A Clockwork Orange, Part 2, Chapter 7

Ironically, this means that atheists, who will be more likely than Christians to deny the existence of free will, are more likely to actually have it in any meaningful way. Should free will exist, the only people who are able to make meaningful choices are those who believe that life is unhindered by any cosmic balancing scales, or those that are willing tot defy god.

Part V: "Bad" things for "Good Reasons"

The bible is a mess of a book, and much of it justifies and supports slavery. Many people in the American antebellum south believed slavery was a righteous thing, permitted by god. Liberating slaves would be wrong, as it would be stealing. It is in this moral conundrum Mark Twain places his titular character in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Huck, believing it is dictated by his religion, writes a letter revealing the location of Jim, a runaway slave. But he hasn't sent it yet, he first reflects.

I saved him by telling the men we had small-pox aboard, and he was so grateful, and said I was the best friend old Jim ever had in the world, and the only one he’s got now; and then I happened to look around and see that paper.

It was a close place. I took it up, and held it in my hand. I was a-trembling, because I’d got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. I studied a minute, sort of holding my breath, and then says to myself:

“All right, then, I’ll go to hell” — and tore it up.

It was awful thoughts and awful words, but they was said. And I let them stay said; and never thought no more about reforming. I shoved the whole thing out of my head, and said I would take up wickedness again, which was in my line, being brung up to it, and the other warn’t. And for a starter I would go to work and steal Jim out of slavery again; and if I could think up anything worse, I would do that, too; because as long as I was in, and in for good, I might as well go the whole hog.

-The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Chapter 31

Huck is willing to suffer eternal damnation, in a very literal sense, to help his friend. He believes he is doing the "wrong" thing, and is willing to do it anyway. What if Huck didn't believe it was wrong to protect Jim? Does that change the morality of his choice? Is Huck's good deed greater because he's willing to suffer enormous consequences for it? Is it less of a good deed because he believes he's doing the wrong thing?

(When in doubt, rely on the power of friendship)

Few people today would believe that freeing slaves is a wrong act, regardless of what the bible says. So to drive the message home, let's take a more controversial example.

Inhabit, once again, the world of religion, the dogma of heaven and hell. If you could kill somebody, and know they would go straight to heaven, should you do it? Let's say you already knew you were going to hell. What would you have to lose, spiritually speaking?

The Mormons make a particularly interesting example for this. They are a denomination that rejects the doctrine of original sin, meaning children are sinless when they enter the world. They also believe that children can't sin until the "age of accountability," which modern practice sets at eight years old.

For all men must repent and be baptized, and not only men, but women, and children who have arrived at the years of accountability.

-Doctrine and Covenants, Section 18 verse 42

And I also beheld that all children who die before they arrive at the years of accountability are saved in the celestial kingdom of heaven.

-Doctrine and Covenants, section 137 verse 10

One can imagine a mormon zealot serially killing as many children as possible under eight years old in order to secure them a place in heaven. After all, it's all downhill after eight. They may very well fall prey to temptation. From this perspective, it's best to give them a speedy trip to the afterlife. If you truly believed the same mormon doctrine as them, could you condemn them?

Part VI: Recap

Let's examine our characters again, and ask if any of them are truly good.

Alex: Does the "right" thing, given literally no choice in the matter

Catholic Zealot: Does the "right" thing, but is given no meaningful choice in the matter. They believe that failure to do do the "right" thing will be met with eternal torment, so their actions are selfishly motivated.

Huckleberry Finn: Does what he believes is the "wrong" thing, but for selfless reasons, and is willing to go to hell.

Mormon Zealot: Does the wrong thing, for selfless reasons. Willing to endure hell so others can make it to heaven.

Obviously, killing kids to send them to heaven should get you sent to an insane asylum. I feel I've waded in the waters of delusion land long enough that it may be helpful at this point to remind the reader that there is no god. There is no heaven. And the is no hell. And yet...

If you take the Clockwork Orange perspective, that being good requires moral choice, you need one of two things. You need to believe there is no god with any moral care what happens here, or you need to be willing to defy god. To cower at god's might, to do what god says to save your own skin, can not be considered moral. It is, at best, as our friend Thomas Foster puts it, merely a "simulacrum of goodness."

Part VII: Sacrifice-Off

I'm not the first to note that even according to the bible, Jesus's sacrifice doesn't seem so special. Crucifixion definitely seems painful (if you ever see me up on a cross, please mercy kill me), but Jesus was not alone. Crucifixion was not an uncommon method of execution in Roman times. Allegedly, Jesus rose from the grave after thee days, making it so he didn't even give up his life. Afterward, he went to heaven. In the grand scheme of things, even the most immense torture for a finite period pales in comparison to infinite reward.

Now let's take our Mormon zealot. They believe with 100% certainty that they are going to hell. They are willing to take infinite punishment to defy god's will and save as many souls as possible.

Jesus never believed he was going to hell. He didn't even believe he was going to stay dead. Who, in this case, is willing to sacrifice more? If mormon theology was true, could you condemn the zealot? Who would be more deserving of the title "Messiah?"

Part VIII: Conclusion

There's even more symbolism to talk about in A Clockwork Orange, and even a case to be made for Alex as a warped Christ figure (which Foster makes in his book). It will have to wait for another time.

A Clockwork Orange, in it's most mainstream interpretations, is about the value of free will. A reader is supposed to be horrified by the crimes Alex commits and subsequently even more horrified at the loss of his free will. I'd like to remind the christians that if free will is real and it is so important, you are not meaningfully using it. They've castrated themselves, letting their own judgment atrophy, all to adopt the appearance of good. At some point, you will have to use your own brain to figure out what what is right and wrong. As we've learned today, religion cannot teach ethics. It can only teach compliance.

Now I'm not in the business of playing hide the ball. I'll tell you what I think. There is no objective morality. Subjectively, I measure morality by utilitarian standards. Theoretically, the reason you do something doesn't change its moral impact on the world. But that's just my opinion.

[softbluefeathers]

The increasing atomization of life in the West has been incredibly harmful, and still we keep atomizing. Keep stripping institutions that represent and protect people until there's nothing left but individual families, which of course are expected to abide by the whims of their (preferably white) male heads of household.

I have no formal education on the subject so this might be kinda half-stupid, but I see a lot of the harm stemming from the fact that, if you consider organizations (states, nations, religions, companies) as living organisms which must compete for resources just as us biological organisms must, then it's actually incredibly efficient to not have to worry about the health and well-being of your constituent parts.

Of course there's parts which are more central to the organizations/firm's decision making and self-concept, the people who decide what the organization does, how it does it, and by extension what the organization *is*, and those you want to protect because those are the parts that make you "you". But the working parts? The parts that are actually in contact with the world and in charge of actually doing the work to shape your environment? Well it's best for you if you don't have to worry about them. Treat them like a mechanic treats their tools. Wail on them, beat on them, get your money's worth as fast as possible and replace them once they break (and unlike a mechanic, your tools cost you money constantly so breaking them might give you the chance to save money by replacing them with a less expensive set that you can squeeze the same work out of.) (Also I feel the mechanic metaphor works on another level because you have your regular daily driver tools that get abused, and there's always the special "once in a while" tools that you sit on and baby and treat really really nicely because they help you do you job better but they're too expensive to replace all the time. But at the end of the day they're still just tools).

I'm not optimistic about a future for leftism as it currently exists, largely because in my opinion leftists seem to either dream too small or way too big. I hear either calls to unionize the workplace (i.e., let's repurpose the existing infrastructure but leave the institutions intact), which I agree would work great if not for the fact that you have liberals/centrists who are adapted to the current system and can't imagine a world where things are any different, or you have rightists who actively like things the way they are because they like feeling that they have a "place" and enjoy having people to be "better than." Aside from these there's the violent revolutionaries (i.e., let's blow it all up and start over) who... Um... Maybe let's not? Infrastructure is useful and destroying it is wasteful and inefficient when it can instead be repurposed. Not too mention the Human cost which, wasn't that the whole reason we want to change things to begin with? Because the human cost of the current system is too high? I'm unconvinced by any argument that sincerely calls for addressing the human suffering caused by the current system with a "solution" that requires making it a thousand times worse.

Personally I'm surprised we're not seeing more coops spring up, they seem like a natural answer to the problems we face today. The higher powers/eldritch gods/meta-organisms that are both made up of us and sustain themselves with our toil and devotion have no loyalty to us and have no incentive to care for us, so let's make them. Let's cut God into pieces and grant one piece to each employee. That way the people who hold ownership of God/the meta-organism are the same ones who compose it, helps align incentives.

I understand this may be what is meant by "worker control of the means of production," but wherever I hear people say that it's always in the context of violently seizing those means to forcibly switch existing organizations into that mode. I'm surprised (and a little disappointed) that I don't hear much talk of just starting organizations that are set up that way from the beginning.

I really think this is the solution that's right in front of our noses, partly because it's already proven to work. Mennonite communities have a lot of problems with abuse internally, but if you take a step back and evaluate the meta-organism on it's ability to fulfill it's goals they're pretty successful! They farm communally so they're able to effectively feed themselves and then make money selling their surplus, to the point that Mennonite communities are usually the largest producer in any given state of any agricultural commodity that the state isn't exclusively devoted to (i.e. obviously they don't sell the most corn in Iowa, but they sell the most of any other crop).

Similarly Native American tribes have been putting in wirk setting up ag operations across the country, and in at least one case that I don't remember the specifics of and I'm not going to bother to look up, I remember reading that their operation was so efficient that they could afford to give tribe members working there an entire month off to just go do whatever (My source is a Dr. Sarah Taber tweet I can't be bothered to find, but go check her out she's awesome). Check-to-check-pilled Americacels cope and seethe.

I think part of the reason this doesn't get much attention is that it means that the average worker would have to learn the language of finance in order to actually engage with the meta-organism that they belong to/work for, and most people don't find that very sexy, but I think it's so cool!!! You could be talking with your coworker about her opinions on the new Taylor Swift album, then switch to talking about your company's EBITDA and share ideas on how to improve it (which you'll want to do because you're a part owner so that directly affects YOUR paycheck), and then switch to talking about weekend plans. I personally would love to see that happen since the only people I hear talking about finance are my NYC friends' elitist finance friends, and I hate those assholes. I should be able to discuss amortization and tax strategies with my neighbor while watching the Superbowl, DEMOCRATIZE FINANCE!!! Or... Socialize finance? I guess? I don't know if those mean the same thing in this context. Same-same but different probably.

Ok I hope posting this doesn't blow up and lead to me being run off the site, I'm going to go back to being a below-average generic transfem hornyposter now.

i think "it takes a village" shouldn't be just "to raise a child". we should understand it takes a village to do literally everything we do. all day every day. without our communities we would not have drinking water or electricity or clean streets or food or shelter or anything. we cannot do any thing alone. we just can't. and with that comes the fact that you are not alone. you already have a community, seek to be an active part of it, you will feel better. reach out and thank them, they're happy to have you too. i promise. it takes a village to live.