#and how much worse he's gotten
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Noooooo, why is Nooroo an Adrianette shipper. Doesn't he know that Luka is bestest boy
coz he ALSO was on the front lines of Gabriel being a dickhead. He sees Adrien as a family member and wants him to get whatever support and connection he has that's outside of the Agreste's megamansion and away from Gabriel
#replies#its not so much that he's a shipper#and that he wants him to have support other than his fucked up family#because he KNOWS how bad Gabriel is#and how much worse he's gotten#and he doesn't want Adrien to be frontlining that since Gabe doesn't have Nooroo to abuse anymore
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i think what gets me about rick is that he wanted to do so much more but didn't get the time
#rick wright#pink floyd#like. he wanted to see talking heads one day but he felt like he was too busy with pink floyd to go and see them#he wanted to do another solo album#hell it's been hinted at that he and david wanted to do an album together outside of pf#he should still be here man. genuinely think we live in a worse world floydwise because he's not here#and that's not just my bias for him talking that's seeing how much worse the feuds gotten the longer he's been gone#how much more vitrolic its gotten again these past few years i know my boy wouldn't have stood for it
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I just talked to my friends about this but I feel like Felix is a little too well liked in this fandom. Like yeah he’s realistic, he’s a coward, he’s selfish, and he’ll do anything to help himself
And there are millions if not billions of people out there who are exactly like him
It’s not a bad thing if you like Felix but I feel like it’s really not that well understood just how actually dangerous he is. There are people who will hurt you either intentionally or by accident and what is often the first thing you hear them say?
“Don’t tell anyone.”
If Edd and Molly had lived, I have no doubt in my mind that is exactly what he would have said to them
#twf#the walten files#felix kranken#if he didn’t act like a real person I wouldn’t care as much but he does and I’m fairly sure people have gotten away with crimes like his or-#worse. and it just feels very concerning how often it’s brushed to the side#especially in a fandom like twf that’s filled to the brim with young teenagers. please guys please be fucking careful and do not ever-#trust anyone like Felix. they are not your friends and they will throw you under the bus the moment they get the chance.#If Felix was a real person he’d do the exact same thing to you. do not defend him he does not need it
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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Dagoth Ur and my Daggerfall character Staek
#my art#tes#morrowind#daggerfall#dagoth ur#It's like impossible for me to be consistent with the way I draw Dagoth#anyway I got a laptop and now I can finally play Daggerfall!!#I made a redguard warrior named Staek and I love him so much#even though he keeps dying#I could not figure out how to draw his shirt so I just gave him a tank top 😭#I'll draw you properly some day Staek#I feel like my art has gotten worse lmao
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A 4th IEYTD game won't be enough I need starstuck to have a canon interaction
#god I don't even care if juniper is dead have it be a flashback to reggie's gay little voicemail PLEASEEEEEEEE#schell games i am on my hands and knees I've been a fan of the ship for almost 2 and a half years PLEASEEEEEEEEEE#god I can't evenmake the 3 hour makeout session joke because i am living in my own world of fanon content with them i need a hint of canon#a whiff and morsel a crumb PLEASE#they are truly my ship ever like the only ship for me whatever but it's TRUE#ieytd#sorry#im insane you guys i only get worse about them#especially because I've been having crazy juniper thoughts and how it'd relate to my interpretation of starstuck#like god he should be transfem in this rant I will-/j..#well#hj#cause like genuinely?????????? god it's been on the mind#MINIMUM? him in drag. like I've thought about juniper in drag sooo much#and waugh REGGIE god he's such an icon like I've also been having thoughts about him in general and UGHHHHHHHHH#schell games 1 canon interaction it can be 1 line please#it'll sustain me for years#I've gotten this far off delusions (/j) please
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idk how i hadn't watched everything everywhere all at once until now, but holy shit thats one hell of a movie, i am crying rn.
the cross section of, maybe life is just laundry and taxes over and over forever but it's forever with you, and we have to be kind to each other, and just everything. i've been that kid that wanted so badly to just get away from it all, from everything that hurt so much, even if i had to die to get away. i've been there and god it hurts, and this movie got exactly to the heart of my emotions.
and then the base of the multiverse concept is just the kind of story i wish i could be living. you are special and important, and everything that's wrong can be fixed, and every single misstep and mistake you've made is not just necessary but makes you the one that will fix everything! it starts with this concept that everything matters, even if the life you're living is bland and cyclical, it's all important, it all led you here. but as our view is expanded we're challenged with this idea that nothing matters, that none of our decisions actually mean anything, that it'll all happen in a verse so who cares about any of it. and i don't exactly know which camp i subscribe to at this point. yea, maybe none of my decisions will ever effect anything enough to cause actual change, and maybe nothing i do matters, but you matter. the people right in front of me matter. maybe the rest can just be, and maybe if i can just look out for those i care about it'll be enough for me.
also, totally different note, but i love the foreshadowing of everything, of the cyclical nature of the world Evelyn lives in. the laundry, and he taxes, how Mrs. Deidre circles the one form with thick black marker just like the bagel.
anyways. go watch everything everywhere all at once.
#i'm not gonna do it#just so we're clear#i've gotten a lot better#and college is definitely helping me get some space to process everything#but i know i used to be in a far worse headspace#just with everything going wrong with the world at the same time my personal life was crumbling because of my father#i used to dream about where i am today#dream about getting out of that goddamned house#and i'm honestly kinda jealous that joy got to regain that connection with her mother and start to work everything out#i just wish that he'd recognize how much the shit he did hurt me#and actually apologize for it#anyways#tw suicide mention#everything everywhere all at once
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Every time someone edits Keith in the black paladin armor an angel loses its wings.
#keith kogane#listen I understand that he needs to be the black paladin but he should be there temporarily#it’s worse when people do it with lance#I’m sorry but Keith cannot be the black paladin in my mind heart and soul#that spot is RESERVED for SHIRO DAMMIT#HE FAUGHT SO HARD TO BE WITH THE BLACK LION AND YOUR TELLING ME HE DOESNT EVEN GET TO SIT IN HER SEAT ANYMORE????#IM SORRY?? ARE THE LIONS NOT COUNCIOUS??? DID BLACK JUST NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT SHIRO AFTERWARDS???#it’s some fucking horse shit#and Lance should’ve stayed in blue and allura should’ve gotten red#allura dead ass does not fit within the blue lion#I love her but that woman is a red paladin#I mean even the fucking show jokes about it#lance being in blue fit his character far more and I believe would’ve led to far more growth#I hate how much people argue about who the better black paladin would be whether it be for Lance or Keith#its shiro#through and through#he ran so Keith could walk bitch#also yes Keith being with the blades is cool and it makes people realize just how much of a pain it is to not have a lion to protect you#to show the true stuggle of those who are still actively fighting against space nazis#that don’t rely on a giant robot#but here’s my thing#I don’t like that Keith separated#because I feel like his character goes backwards#I would’ve preferred Keith actually being there for his teammates and family then almost sacrificing himself over and over again#I also don’t think ryou should ever be in the black lion#like piloting#cause he’s not shiro and I think the black lion would know that#I just wish there was more shiro appreciation within the fandom#like how do people not understand that shiro is an amazing leader???#why does he have to get replaced???
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#seriously seriously one of the most beautiful pieces of music i have ever heard#i feel so conflicted thinking about this but i was always afraid to get more into shinee because of jonghyun#i remember the exact day he died when i was in high school and i remember feeling slammed with the news even though he was just guy from...#...clue + note to me and as i have gotten more into kpop in the past few years i have been there for all of shinee's comebacks from don't...#...call me on and i always kept them at a distance bc even though i thought they seemed so cool i was worried to get into them and always...#...feel like someone was missing. and now that my little sister has gotten so into them i have too#and it does feel like someone is missing all of the time and we watch so much content of jonghyun together that sometimes it hits me all...#...over again how unreal and bad it is that he isn't in the world with us anymore#i am so sad too thinking about how i almost didn't hear some of the most beautiful music out of the fear of grieving him#one of the most beautiful voices and i click with his words so so much#like he's my friend and i almost never got to know him :( and that thought it so much worse than the worry of having to miss him :(#it also makes me sick bc if it would have changed anything for him at all. he's still making so many people happy. he's still there for me.#i don't get this emotional every time i listen to him but sometimes it all hits me#music#Spotify
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tired :/
#work was maybe supposed to calm down this week and instead has gotten worse#one of the guys was like 'well i only got yelled at by one person in [] today!'#not even a guy i like very much bc he's always forgetting to do shit but i feel so bad.#if i could figure out how to balance things the yelling would decrease by like 90% but i haven't been able to#idk if it's even possible! but i feel like i should be able to
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I feel like I'm v academically smart but oh my god I am fucking hopelesssss at anything people related
#i feel so stupiddddd#like theres this cloud around my brain i cant c past it#i dont kno if im js easily confused or if im so scared 2 ask 4 elaboration/clarification i feel i need 2 js brute force my way thru things#that i havent fully understood#coz if i ask2 many times it js pisses ppl off#an then i dont get help. an they get annoyed an think im stupid. so we get nowhere#ughhhh#im js so terrified of annoying ppl i js dont do anythin#like @ all!!!!#iv become so fucking boring u wouldvt believe#all my friends manage 2 talk 2 new ppl so easily and can actually carry a conversation#every joke i make falls soooo flat#an every hi gets ignored#i dont talk abt myself enuf or i do it 2 much#or i have no fucking opinion#an dunno how 2 add 2 thr other persons#girl im hopeless#where did my socail skillz go.....#ive always had the fear im annoying sum1 but l8ly its gotten so much worse#i think coz of. the altercation w that 1 irl#UGHHHH#im always operating under thr assumptions he doesnt like me whenever im w him#an idk what 2 say anymore#is there a way 2 get better a socialising w/o annoying ppl or embarrassing urself#idk i think mayb if im more confident itll help#but. how the hell am i doing that chat#mannnnn#i dunno#ive got more 2 say but im gonna reach tag limit😭😭😭😭 goodby#rivers rambles <3
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love how my shitty health insurance chose THE perfect time to expire. just really impeccable timing
#pentababbles#it expired on november 1st out of nowhere#i was on my dad's health plan but he got a job with a separate health plan and forgot to renew his other insurance#i was supposed to be able to stay covered under united healthcare until 2026.#sure that would've only given me two more years but at least then i'd have time to plan what to do next#what's especially annoying is how much trouble i had with my insurance previously when i tried switching my pcp#and this happens to be THE time of year when i typically get sick#just this september i was hospitalized for a severe asthma attack/respiratory infection combo#which could've been prevented if i could've gotten my asthma medicine from my allergist sooner#but ofc i had to go thru a ridiculous snafu dealing with doctors and insurance just to get a damn referral#and literally on the day my insurance ran out i caught a cold.#i'm running low on my antidepressants and my asthma medicine already.#i have a little money in my savings for emergency so if worse comes to worse i can at least get my medicines refilled#but. i can't go back to the doctor for more tests bc it'll cost too much.#i only have a part time job as an assistant teacher. i only get paid hourly and it's not that much#even if i did get a salaried position at this job the insurance benefits aren't that great and the pay is much better#plus since i work with kids they're very germy so i'm always at risk of getting sick and having to go to the doctor#i don't want my insurance to be tied to my job but i need to get a better job anyways. so i can start digging myself out of this hole#i need to get my vaccines updated stockpile lifesaving medications and get a new job with insurance before jan 20#bc i need to survive. i need to outlive the empire no matter what#and i need to be there for my friends
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I can't believe there was a point in my life where I loved pique
#I will always have fondness for who he was/how I perceived him at that time#but it's so incredible how much I cannot stand him now#he's just like..... the worst???#i still think he was a great footballer etc etc and I still think all the 'iconic' things he did were indeed hilarious/iconic etc but yeah#his whole schtick has gotten old and he's gotten worse#gerard pique#fcb#barça#fc barcelona#barça legends
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every day i thank furuba for understanding that yuki is such an interesting character not just because of his journey in healing from his trauma from being abused by the family cult, but because he is deeply immature and stuck in his own head and v reliant on ideals of toxic masculinity. ultimately he had so much personal shit to worry about that him saying he sees tohru as a mom perfectly encapsulates the way he needed her as a supporter but also still puts her on a pedestal due to that aforementioned toxic masculinity. and while he doesn’t fully deal with that (or his kind of fucked gender feelings in general) he does realize that he can’t just suck up her support forever and so his growth is in part facilitated by his moving away from her comfort rather than clinging to her like a scared kid. just. man. love him. guy who confidently gives terrible advice and comes away from it so pleased with how he’s grown as a person. guy who is genuinely very kind but hasn’t gotten super good at the empathy thing yet. guy who is probably nonbinary but doesn’t really care about that rn
#and obv i’m not trying to say he’s a secretly bad person or something#(his whole arc is about him realizing he’s NOT a secretly bad person!)#it’s just. he’s like slightly worse brian laborne to me…..#(no shade because worm unfortunately does a lot of things better than a lot of things)#guy who places a woman in a close role to himself not out of manipulativeness but bc he genuinely has no idea how to accept what#he needs from her.. it’s. GOOD!#i do wish we’d gotten more into tohru’s feelings about being called a mother#when her entire existence revolves around trying to emulate and please the memory of her own mom#but fruits basket honestly doesn’t dive as deep into that habit as i wish#because as much as it is a critique of the perfect shoujo woman it’s more doing that on a character level than it is a feminist one#so the implications of this teenage girl “successfully” achieving her own ideal of motherhood as perfect womanhood go kind of unexplored#(much like how yuki’s toxic masculinity doesn’t rlly get any immediate exploration)#but the fact that these ideas are THERE even if on accident makes tohru and yuki’s friendship so interesting 2 me…..#but i do think the manga understands that it’s working with this concepts it’s working on a character scope rather than an ideological one#even if i do vastly prefer stories that ARE working on that level#furuba#frogs.txt
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Looks like I just lost another close friend to guy who isn't worth a pile of dog shit. 😊
#my best friend no less#i cried about this shit practically all afternoon but i'm all out of tears and now i'm just pissed off.#this shit has been going on for a long ass time but i've finally reached my breaking point with it#i love her#but she is delusional#and it kills me to say that#but that whole “relationship” (if you even want to call it that) is fake. all he cares about is money not her#the worst part is that she knows it too#oh but she “loves him” and “wants to give him one last chance” girl what the fuck?#oh but better yet he dumped her once 2 years ago already and i've hated his punk ass since#never should've gotten back tother after that and i told her as much even back then#all he does is make her cry#not do anything arount their town house#and sit on his ass and watch tv or sleep when he's not working#that's the tame stuff too i could say sooo much worse but i'm actually not trying to air her dirty laundry out her#i'm just pissed off#but suddenly IM the bad guy when tell her i won't support her or this “relationship” when she told me they were getting back together today#this is after i helped her and her parents ans brother move all her stuff out of the town house last Monday and back to her parents place#after she told me they were done for good#but IM the bad guy for bringing up all of fhe reasons listed above and all of the REALLY bad things about the relationship#when i tell her i won't be supporting her any longer and that i'll be walking away if she goes back to him#best part is her family agrees with me and they tell her all the things i say about him and then some#but when i go out on the line and put my heart down on the table for her and all i get back is a text saying:#“i don't really like how you're texting right now so we'll talk about this later.”#girl#i don't know whether or not i want to cry harder or strangle her#i think it's both#so yeah i think i just lost my best friend to a guy who doesn't remotly deserve her and everything kicks rocks rn#it's just like my other friend all over again#why do my friend have such dog shit taste in men
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I think I got possibly the absolute worst outcome for the tribunal you could possibly get and then slept from 12pm to 7pm
#SEVEN FUCKING PEOPLE DEAD#jesus christ#i dont think it couldve gone worse#im googling two seconds#yep jesus christ the only possible death i didnt get was kourtenar and i dont think i wouldve given a shit if he died#what the hell hiw did i fuck it up so unbelievably fucking bad#i failed some checks i really fucking shouldnt have#jesus this is what i get for being bad at murder mysteries#motherfucker#i actually feel genuinely really awful like sick to my stomach#my teeth started chattering during it i was so hopped up and stresssssed#fuck im tempted to cheese it to try get a better outcome but shit man i dont think i personally could#i have no idea how i could have fixed any of it i fucked up before i even walked into it#god what the fuck#im like genuinely embarrassed and kind of ashamed?#someone said you have to let shanky run how do you do that i genuinely do not remember a decision like that#fuckin cheesecloth brain fucking hell#couldnt have gone worse if ibfuckin tried#motherfucking disco elysium#this is so embarrassing admitting this#the power of friendship DID in fact fail me#well now i have to play the game and not fuck up like an idiot#god i feel so terrible how did i screw things uo so much#admittedly maybe i should be nicer to myself considering i'd maybe gotten 3 hours of sleep yesterday and had been awake for nearly 24 hours#(ive been sleeping weird dont worry about it)#but man i dont think i couldve made it go much better but even 6 deaths is better than 7#sprry for the long tags i am just miserable#i also think im sick? maybe a covid test in my future
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