#and how he really is their collective father figure/person they go to for advice

[canisalbus]

hello!! i’ve always wondered what kind of traumas vasco holds himself. i know machete can be very particular (e.g. touching/personal space) , but what are some things maybe machete does to make vasco more comfortable out of just their pure love for each other? like, for example - assume vasco maybe has a hard time keeping up with personal hygiene , or maybe machete is just a lot more clean and neat than vasco is , so machete is always folding his clothes to his own standards and reminding him to wash his fur after a while of going about weekly things , since machete himself probably washes every so often just to brush out matts in his fur .

love your art btw!! :3

He really doesn't like being told what to do. His father was keen on molding Vasco into his own image and his mother was overbearing and overprotective. He was their only son (youngest child, he has two older twin sisters) and as such a lot of pressure and unrealistic expectations were placed on him. He has a tendency to rebel against authorities, especially those who use their power and status to make life miserable for people below them. He has hard time accepting advice and doesn't listen if someone shows up to explain him how he should live his life. One of the ways Machete occasionally gets on his nerves is his constant need to be in control of everything going on around him, which means he often ends up attempting to (well-meaningly) manage Vasco as well. Eventually he figures out Vasco isn't very receptive to outside guidance and usually tries to give him room to do things his own way, even if it's not the "correct" way he would prefer to handle them.

Machete has many health anxieties and once Vasco becomes a fixed part of his life he starts to worry about his wellbeing as well. Like many floppy eared dogs, Vasco has a history of dealing with recurring ear infections, especially when he was very young. Antibiotics weren't available yet so the most effective way to treat them was puncturing the ear drum and letting the accumulated fluid and pus drain out. It was painful and scary and left Vasco with a lasting aversion and distrust for medicine and doctors. He's the kind of person that resists seeking treatment even when they're clearly ill or injured and just tries to shrug it off and wait it out. Luckily he's rarely sick and the scuffs and bruises he gets from being an active and outdoorsy person heal fairly quickly. Nowadays he's very careful about drying and airing out his ear canals properly when they get wet, in hopes of minimizing the chances of another infection. He also cleans them regularly, or lets Machete help with that.

He can be a bit disorganized and overly spontaneous, which can manifest as certain sense of chaoticness. Machete does end up subtly and discreetly picking up after him, planning ahead and going the extra mile to make sure Vasco's life goes as smoothly as possible, usually in ways Vasco doesn't even notice. The clothing part was an apt everyday example, Vasco has a habit of disrobing quickly and carelessly and leaving his (expensive and expertly tailored) garments on the floor or draped across furniture and sooner or later Machete will collect them and fold them neatly for him.

[verdemoun]

timewarp au btw sean becomes a da also this is why i haven't been able to write any fics yet this is just dot points and it's 1000 words

maeve beatrice macguire was born roughly eight years into the timewarp and chaos would be an understatement.

life was going so well karen and sean are still in the trailer on lenny and jenny's driveway. they'd just figured out how to connect the hot water system in their trailer to the solar panels so they didn't have to go inside the main house to shower.

blissful polyamorous life where lenny gets to be with both jenny and sean, and sean gets to be with lenny and karen and karen is still trying to hit on jenny who surely cannot be the only straight person to ever exist in the VDL gang why is life so cruel but everyone is happy and in love and well adjusted to modern era

karen absolutely did not know she was pregnant until she went into labor she didn't even know she could get pregnant between the lack of access to affordable birth control in the 19th century and getting diagnosed with pcos she just assumed she couldn't because she'd never gotten pregnant before??

every single person lost it. there was not a single brain cell to be found in the house just panicked screaming. grimshaw (who helped abigail give birth to jack) was their literal savior. it was too late for hospitals. the macguire genes are too strong this baby was already restless and impatient and coming now

sean malfunctioned so hard trying to process the fact he was a parent that lenny ended up being the first person to hold the baby and love at first sight is real. instantaneously they were All parents and she was going to be the first VDL to not grow up in a broken home. no name no crib but she had two moms and two dads and she was going to be the most spoilt little princess in the world

karen wanted to name her mary-beth because mary-beth stayed with her the longest in canon era and tried to help her even after the gang fell apart but they all agreed this shrieking siren born with orange curls like fire was not going to be a mary-beth so her initials are intentionally mb. they had to go with the most cliche irish girls name starting with m imaginable and then beatrice is actually bessie's full name c:

cannot overstate how strong the macguire genes are her first words might as well have been death to the english. in so many ways she is a copy paste of sean she is loud and the second she could walk she was getting herself into trouble. the whole gang is trying to help but no one knows what to do jack and isaac were both really easy kids who didn't climb on the counter and eat fistfuls of white sugar.

but maeve is so, so loved. she is exactly what their collective child was destined to be. she's energy she's lightning in a bottle she's smart and messy and overconfident and terrifying when she decides she needs to be and they would not change a single hair or freckle about her.

it deserves its own post but the macsummers crew would all have so many emotions being a parent after the childhoods they went through. sean wishing he could ask his da for advice how is it possible to feel so much love for something. karen just feeling lost because she already had so much self-doubt and a really frail sense of self the idea of being a mother would be so terrifying. lenny remembering his father's letter and even though he knows it word for word he wishes he had it with him and could feel the impressions of the pen on paper as if it would hold some answer to how the hell he's meant to be a parent. jenny who was literally found abandoned at the side of the road only now entering the second stage of grief because how dare the people who were meant to care for her abandon her when she would die a million times over to protect this little girl. they all would.

but even with their own shit they are such good parents they will not push their intergenerational trauma onto their baby girl and the lads are girldads to the max: lenny teaching her how to read and going to work in outfits his daughter picked out. sean holding her against his chest watching the secret of kells for the millionth time. karen playing with her baby girl constantly and using her acting skills to do all the voices. jenny braiding her hair and baking cookies with her which she will regret when the sugar demon takes over. whole family tea parties where they all have to play dress up. matching poorly done nail polish

getting her to sleep alone is hell because they all love her so much they want to take her to bed with them even when she's already feisty and independent and wants to sleep in her own room. everyone has a very important role in the nighttime routine and if anyone isn't home at bedtime maeve is not sleeping. jenny has to check for monsters. sean has to carry her to the bathroom and hold her against his hip while they both brush their teeth. karen has to be the one to tuck her in, and lenny has to turn on the nightlight.

she once looked sean dead in the eyes after he turned the nightlight on and turned it back off because lenny has to do it it's his job!!

they must all pay the kiss goodnight tax independently getting multiple kisses from one parent does not nullify the other parents obligation to the republic of maeve

wind down is either lenny reading to her (which has on multiple occasions also put sean to sleep), karen singing or sean telling (child-safe) stories about the VDLs or darragh macguire. sean's stories are maeve's favorite but she gets so excited it takes an extra 20 minutes for her to get to sleep.

her teachers hate her. they want this child medicated because she definitely has adhd. she will rock up and be telling other kids 'i never got to meet my grandpa because the british killed him' and is trying to radicalize her classmates 'they can't catch all of us if none of us go inside at the bell it'll be recess forever!!'

she is the queen of 'my dads can beat up your dad!! my moms can beat up your dad!! i could beat up your dad!!'

lenny and sean at a parent teacher meeting trying to pretend they know what a normal childhood is. 'your daughter has been playing cops and robbers' 'that is a normal thing children do we definitely did that at maeve's age' 'yes but she started throwing rocks from the top of the playground while screaming "macguires never surrender" and she used a jump rope to hogtie another child'

lenny shooting sean a look absolutely begging him not to laugh

no one taught her these things she just inherited the muscle memory of an outlaw and it's really hard not to be proud of her they were some pretty complex knots for a 5 year old!

[gravegrime]

Poll Game Lore Results

Alright gang here's the lore for the poll I did yesterday! It's going to be a long one so buckle up lol

I ran the same poll over on twitter too with different results so if you want to know even more lore you can check that out over there too

💕LILIUM💕

Lilium's hyper positivity and caring nature is a direct result of her strange upbringing. As a "child of the kingdom" Lilium was raised under the watchful gaze of the All-Mother. An otherworldly being in her world I call an Abstraction. As well as guided by the hands of the All-Mother's servants, fathers.

A core tenant of the ideology is a strict adherence to simply positivity and an over emphasis on love and care.

Speaking of the All-Mother... She is also responsible for Lilium's lack of any face. Scooped that shit right out of her head when she was born as is tradition for all children in the kingdom.

It doesn't particularily bother Lilium as she's never known a world where she's had a face. To her, the gaping maw in her head is just as good!

There is a level of redundancy when it comes to the concept of friendship within the kingdom. They're all seen as each other's family so having external relationships on top of that is seen as unnecessary.

However, Lilium is particularily close to one individual in her town. Rose from Elsewhere. A kindly older gentleman who took Lilium under his wing when he discovered that she enjoyed writing.

She is appreciative of everything he teaches her, even if she doesn't always understand it right away! The two make a point to visit each other at the end of every work week in a small park to discuss ideas and learn about the lovely world around them.

You did hear that right, Lilium is in fact a writer! on a hobbiest level at least.

Her writings are very rudementary self-insert fables about princesses saving kingdoms and getting helpful advice from old wizards. I think we can cut her a little slack though given she's never really read a novel before. That's just not something they have access to in the kingdom.

Besides, these are very personal stories to her. They help her compartmentalize and understand thoughts and feelings frowned upon by the kingdom. Lilium would have no interest in sharing these stories with others. The very thought would have her "face" flush and her knees weaken for some reason that's hard for her to understand!

Another unfortunate down side of being raised in the kingdom is a deep lack of experience with anything close to lying or deception. To the point that Lilium doesn't even understand them as things anyone can do but only as evil sins commited by individuals with hate in their heart.

This results in her being blatant, almost horrifically, honest. She would tell her killer where to find the knives level of honesty because she simply doesn't understand why anyone would say something untrue.

She would love to figure out why someone might though! That's one thing that seperates Lilium from a lot of the other children of the kingdom, she's very curious.

She sees the world as an infinite source of love and wonder. Absolutely everything has some aspect to it that is lovely and should be nurtured and acknowledged! To find out the lovely parts isn't easy however and requires a keen eye and lots of questions. This driving force of her curiousity leads her to being a very kind, if not a bit frustrating, amatuer slueth looking for the good in the world.

👻CORNY👻

Before taking on the role of Kaspar's apprentice Corny would develop his own methods of dealing with the ghosts and spirits he would encounter.

One being if Corny found a ghost that was capable of communication he have it follow him to an old abandoned residence and stay there until he found out how to help them. Essentially collecting coherent ghosts in one spot to cut down on travel and maybe give them some much needed company.

Ultimately he wanted to help these ghosts but in the meantime maybe they'd at least to find comfort in each other!

Corny is a massive horror fan! He loves himself a good spook be it by show, movie, or game. Going so far as to study some of the stories he feels might be applicable in his own paranormal pursuits. Obviously to varying results lol

Some of his favorites would be akin to Poltergiest, The Shining, Silent Hill, and Fatal Frame!

💀LYNETTE💀

Lynette absolutely hates relying on other people for anything. There is almost nothing more distasteful to her than asking for help. Near the point of rathering to die than even consider calling the ambulance lol

This completely bull-headed approach to aid is a huge flaw of hers and something that's going to be quite harshly punished throughout the story. Lass has a lot of learnin' to do

Exhibit A! Lynette has never summoned a spirit for a contract before. In Grimm Deeds magic is preformed through ritual trades with spirits that bind the witch/wizard and the spirit together in a sense. This exchange grants the witch/wizard power while giving the spirit form. Lynette has never done this!

There is a much more difficult route for a magic user to cast that utilizes the caster's own soul instead of relying on the power of a spirit. This practices is much more difficult and takes A LOT of training to achieve comperable results to normal magic. This is the method Lynette uses instead severly kneecapping her own potential to avoid having to rely on another entity for her own power.

There are also some advantages to using your own soul for magic but I won't detail these here unless you guys have a question about it lol

Most of the time she is completely alone on the Necropolis, outside of her caretaker, but she doesn't count them. Her father, Kaspar, is extremely busy with being... the grimm reaper and everything and is unable to spend much time with her.

This isolation has led to some pretty sever social stunting and having any complex social interaction will often stun her as she tries to navigate it. For this reason Lynette often retreats back into self isolation even more. She hates the loneliness of it but there's a comfort in the familiarity.

If there is a silver lining to her loneliness it's her academic and hobbiest pursuits have florished with nothing else to do on her own. Her magic is an obvious example of this, having a far greater grasp on her abilities than any normal witch/wizard in training would.

Of course having a hyper magical being as a father to teach you a few tricks probably helps too.

But she has other skills as well! Lynette actually has a small passion for music and is able to play a sort of fantasy themed piano/organ as well as a strange looking violin!

She actually writes her own songs as well. They act as a form of journaling her feelings in a more abstract sense, Lynette would die of embarassment if she were to actually log her feelings in a way people would easily be able to understand them, and are often without lyrics.

No lyrics also makes her feel better because she feels she doesn't have a very good singing voice either.

On the academic side of things I don't think I have to mention how much she likes to read. Take a stroll through any artwork with her in it and she probably has her face buried in some form of literature. She loves it so much that her father turned almost TWO full walls into bookshelves for her! It's the one thing she does the most out of anything.

She mostly reads nonfiction as well. Biographies, textbooks, essays you name it she probably has read something similar. Many pertain to magic and the practice of it but a good amount are also about the various worlds in the Cosmos. She respects her father's wishes to not go exploring without him there to keep her safe and therefore lives an explorer's life vicariously through written world.

Unfortunately all this knowledge can't translate to real world experience. All her knowledge of how things work is almost completely theoretical.

She loves her fucking dad so goddamn much. Everything she does is for him. EVERYTHING IS FOR THAT BIG BEAUTIFUL MAN. She just wishes he could be here...

Lynette is very cold and holds herself very strongly but man is she fragile. A huge emphasis on strength and self sufficency acts as a bit of a complex for her to avoid having to deal with the fact that she's scared and that she's hurt.

There are a lot of reasons for this but I'll leave it at that for now >:)

🖤SHADE🖤

Shade has a pretty big family all things considered! A grandmother, two parents, and four other brother's and sisters that he's smack dab in the middle of. He loves them all dearly and makes sure to take breaks from his wanderlust to come back home and visit.

His family are actually quite supportive of his lifestyle, especially given his father's background, and always want to hear the stories of his magical adventures across the Cosmos!

Shade is not a bright boy. You could honestly say he's very much of an idiot, but he's an idiot in what I feel is the most charming way possible.

His head is never empty. Shade's mind is bursting with a million questions and observations. The quality of them is questionable is all! their either an insanely solid observation or the equivalent of a yahoo answers question and there is very little inbetween. He has no idea what a good or bad question is so he just asks them all! Making Shade one of the most interesting people to talk to possible lol

On top of already being very likeable with his laid back and open personality Shade is also insanely charismatic! He is an absolute accidental people pleaser able to make a lemon smile.

Full of worldly charm and experience Shade often wins people over with his adventerous stories, of which he has plenty, and good nature. He's one of those people you'd just want to sit down and listen to, no matter what he's saying.

[griseldabanks]

For the 'even more fic writer's asks', 1 & 4 for Let Me Count the Ways, 2 & 6 for Cosmic Eclipse, 2 & 27 for the Foster Family AU, and 10, 11, 16, 19, & 23 for any fic(s) you would like to talk about, please!

Let Me Count the Ways:

Start to finish, how long did it take to plan and write? Did you take breaks during the process?

Well, this is ongoing, so the total time remains to be seen. And since it's a collection of oneshots, it really varies between each one how long it takes me to come up with the idea and write it down. Usually, if it's for a fandom I've written a lot for, the stories come faster and easier than fandoms I've never written for. And since it's such a huge project, it's something I want to keep doing on the side as I work on other projects as well. It's really nice as a palate cleanser between bigger projects, or something to work on when I want to procrastinate on something else ^^'

4. If the fic required it, what did you research in order to write it?

There have been a few that required a bit of research. For the one where Steve Rogers gets hit by lightning, I did some research to confirm the possible ramifications of that and proper first-aid care. For the one about Steve and Bucky going to "the Retreat," I had to do some research about what it even was, because I haven't seen Agents of Shield ^^' And then I looked up some common alien species for Anakin's little adventure on Coruscant.

Cosmic Eclipse:

2. How did you come up with the idea?

My roommate in college was actually the one who came up with it. I got her into Sherlock (only the first two seasons were out at the time), and one of the times we were talking about it, she was like, "Hey, what if Sherlock got blinded at some point? Do you think he could still solve crimes?" And after that one conversation where we discussed the different ways he could compensate for such a disability, I just...really wanted to write it.

6. How did you decide what tense and POV(s) to use?

Third-person past, because that's just the default. All but the last scene are from John's POV, because that's what I always do ^^' John is much more...ordinary, you know? I've always been intimidated about writing characters who are geniuses, because I am very much not a genius. Also, it's a lot easier to describe John reacting to things, because he doesn't try to pretend he's an emotionless machine :P And I managed to still tell the whole story just from what John is there to witness, except for that last scene. It's the pool scene where they meet Moriarty for the first time, and I've known all along it needs to be in Sherlock's POV. I need to use his ability to deduce all kinds of things about Moriarty, and it's also so much more interesting to see how his reactions might change if he can't see what's going on, whereas John would just react mostly the same way he does in canon.

Foster Family AU:

2. How did you come up with the idea?

I believe it was @bunnyscar who put in the request for Let Me Count the Ways, Ed and Mustang with the prompt "I can't believe I'm telling you this." I had the kernel of an idea - Ed going to Mustang for advice, admitting he likes Winry and trying to figure out how to ask her out. The problem was that I couldn't think of a believable scenario for why he would go to Mustang, of all people, in canon.

So then I had a brainstorm session with @rainintheevening, and I think it was her suggestion that I make it a modern AU where Mustang and Hawkeye adopt the Elric brothers. If they have an actual, official father-son relationship established, it would be more believable for him to ask for this kind of advice. And I'm an absolute sucker for Parental!RoyEd, so I immediately jumped on it. It didn't take long before I'd worked out all the specifics - like how, because there's no alchemy in this AU, Trisha's death and the consequences thereof would need to be something like a car crash rather than human transmutation. I also decided to make Al go mute due to the trauma, because there's not really a 1:1 analogy to him being stuck in a suit of armor. But this way, he has negative consequences to the accident in a way that's definitely debilitating for his daily life, but is ultimately curable, and I can twist it in such a way that Ed feels guilty about it.

27. Share a piece of lore you made up for the story

I haven't found a way to include this in a story yet, but I put a lot of thought into what Roy and Riza's jobs are. They saw active duty in the military, in some war overseas, and after they came home, they're both working for the VA. Roy isn't trying to become president or anything like that; he works in like...marketing? Campaigning? I don't know what you'd call it, but he uses his schmoozing skills and charisma to try to get more funding for projects and to get the veterans the help they need. I still haven't completely decided what I want Riza to do, but I was thinking maybe something like physical therapy. Both of them cut back on their hours/went part-time when the Elric brothers came into the picture, and Roy (primarily) homeschools them.

And for the rest of these, I will talk about my baby, Take Me In:

10. How did you approach writing the fic? (e.g. wrote it start to finish in order, started with the ending, starting with the twist)

I generally write start to finish. That's just how my brain works, and it bugs me if I don't know how characterization should have developed if I write out of order. There were a few exceptions, where I'd write a scene and then realize I needed another one before it or something like that. And when it came to writing the climax, I kind of skipped over all the complicated technical bits to just finish writing the emotional stuff, and then went back later to tackle the hard stuff.

11. What was the most challenging aspect of writing it?

It is loooooooooooooooooooooong! It took me about four years of focusing primarily on writing that, with a few breaks scattered throughout. Also, some of the stuff the fic deals with is much more technical than I ever thought I would get, and that required a stupid amount of research and second-guessing and bashing my head against the wall to try to figure out how to write it x.x

16. Talk about the fic’s biggest moment & how you came up with it

I'm going to be vague, since I haven't posted it yet, but the big turning point in TMI was actually the first scene I ever came up with :3 It's one of the emotional highs in the story, and is what transformed it from a casual what-if conversation with @sergeanttomycaptain to "THIS IS MY DESTINY AND IF I DON'T WRITE THIS FIC ASAP I WILL GO INSANE!!!!" I can't tell you how many times I wrote and rewrote it in my head before falling asleep, so by the time I actually got around to writing it out for real, the words flowed swiftly and smoothly. I knew exactly what I wanted to say and how to say it. I love it when that happens <3

19. While editing, did you kill any darlings? What were they?

I've actually amassed quite an impressive list of deleted scenes, which I will be including in the companion fic, Take Me Beyond, once the main fic is done. Most of them would be too spoilery to explain in full, but I will say there was once a time when I was going to have a scene where Steve says the Words to Bucky to turn him into the Winter Soldier! :O I still think that would be a suuuuuuuuuper angsty, dramatic, awful scene, but ultimately it just didn't make sense to have it happen.

23. How did you come up with the title?

The title comes from "Everything" by Lifehouse:

You calm the storms and you give me rest You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall You still my heart and you take my breath away Would you take me in, take me deeper now?

The song captures the feeling and the message of this story so well, I wanted to use it. And the main two previous fics in the series, Make Me Whole and Shards of Me, both had three-word titles where one of the words was "me," so I just had to find a phrase from the song that would fit the pattern. I'm quite pleased with it ^_^

Even More Fic Writer Ask Game

[josendlessmonolouge]

Jo’s grandpa appreciation post bc I just made some overnight oats for tomorrow that he would love.

my grandpa is pretty well my father figure since my dad sucks majorly and anyway heres all the amazing wonderful stuff about him that makes me wish the entire world could have someone like him

He always told me stories when I was little. my favorite was jack and the beanstalk but because he modified it so the giant had a giant cat that in the end when the chop down the bean stalk, jack and his mom sell to a zoo and get a bunch of money.

He believes rhythm is one of the very most important things you can teach a child he used to bounce all us grandkids on his knee to the beat of music and he always encourages me to tap my foot to songs

he’s very dyslexic but currently writing a book

he likes to talk about folk music with me

I’ve dated two boys in my life my first relationship was long distance and he still sometimes calls my grandpa for car advice. When I was dating my ex once him and grandpa talked on my phone for over an hour about stock car racing

if he hadn’t had a family he was going to pursue being a nascar driver

he can build anything, he built me an American girl doll bed when I was a kid and his sister (my great aunt) who lives right next door to him sewed me a mattress for it

he loves vintage western wear

he has my mom cut his hair bc he got mad that his barber kept cutting his hair too short, he says she thinks everyone should have cop cuts but he’s a product of the 50s-70s he likes a longer haircut

he completely replaced the floor and even did the plumbing in our bathroom just recently. ;he’s in his 70s)

once he said he didn’t feel well at dinner with our friends after the nhs ceremony and had us worried about him but actually he was late walking his dogs and didn’t want them to be sad but didn’t want to be rude about leaving

he always signs his title as grampa instead of grandpa bc that’s how I pronounce it. So when I was 13 and he got heart surgery and it was still Covid regulations so I was too young to visit him he wrote a thank you note to my card and signed it that, he always signs off every text message with it

he loves fruit and always keeps apples at his house. He told my mom “I’m a good diabetic.” While eating apple sauce. Still think about that lol

his little westie is the most spoiled dog to exist

Babies always smile at him in public

once I ran into him at lunch at school bc my friends went to the Walmart deli and he was grocery shopping and he apologized to me that he wasn’t dressed nicer (he was in his overalls)

he practically lives in overalls

when I was little my soccer team called him the man in the yellow hat bc he wears a straw hat almost everyday.

he dropped out of highschool.

I bought him a roy rogger tie as a present bc he got really teary over how important Roy roggers was to him as a child and at church that week he really proudly showed it to me.

he can look at anything and measure it

once he fell off a ladder working and had to stay home so we had to go shopping for him he told my mom and I the dimensions of the box of shrimp my grandma likes not the color or price or the brand or amount, but the dimensions.

oh when he fell off the ladder? The person driving the ambulance got lost and he had to tell them where to go.

his dad likes to collect rocks and so does he

he picks my grandma flowers from his garden.

he tells me about people from his childhood he realizes where probably on the spectrum like him and I are. He realize he was on the spectrum after I was diagnosed.

He makes the very best fry bread

he loves perry mason

once I called him in tears because a very baby bird had fallen out of it’s nest in a storm and I wanted him to come and try to save it (I couldn’t as I had cats at my house) or put it out of its misery and he drove out to my house and tried to nurse it to health (sadly it didn’t live)

When I was in upper elementary school I had a lot of meltdowns because I was bullied, other kids where starting to not like school so they were yelling being disruptive my little autistic self couldn’t take it and sometimes I’d have to go home early if it was really bad (eventually I got meds and accommodations) but mom and grandma worked jobs where the couldn’t pick me up so he did and he’d just take me along his errands to Walmart or something. Sometimes we’d get a doughnut. He always understood I wasn’t misbehaving I really wanted to do good and be good.

[dinoclawsz]

B4 I continue posting art of them I think I need to explain my whole thought process……so here’s some (not all) reasons why I think Pagan and Antón should and would kiss sloppy style 😊

-They share a lot of similarities! Most obvious being their jobs as ermm terrible dictators but more importantly their shared ‘guerilla forces ripping apart the country’ situations 🐡I think they would meet first in a purely diplomatic fashion ofc, to trade weapons and/or money in order to deal with their own respective resistances. This would also mean they have tons of preexisting respect and even understanding for each other, and also bonding over a mutual burning hatred of anarchists is a funny way to get close to somebody lawl. Also I know it would b out of character for Pagan to quit his hermetic lifestyle out of the blue to go visit some guy in the Caribbean but idrc I’m just trying to have fun :)

-Another similarity they have is their relationship to fatherhood and problems regarding it. While Antón never really wanted to be a father or have Diego and wouldn’t have if not for his cancer, Pagan DID want to be a father, but lost the only real chance he’d ever have at it, so I think upon meeting Diego he’d exploit it as a chance to be the father he never got the opportunity to be. I think they’d look to each other for advice; Pagan on how to be a good mentor for Ajay, and Antón on how to be a better and kinder person to Diego. Also I find the concept of Pagan being an estranged mom-type figure to Diego (without him fully understanding the extent of his relationship to his papá) very fun

-They have contrasting personalities :3 Pagan has a very charismatic, energetic, fun and self-absorbed personality while Antón is more cool, collected and down-to-earth and I think they’d get along nice and compliment each other well……opposites attract and what not and I think they would have an interesting dynamic

-I also think their age difference would play a part in them liking each other; Pagan trying to keep him up-to-date w current shit, explaining to him what Twitter is, showing him memes or whatever, while Antón would get to live vicariously through Pagan

-Theyd b into each other technically speaking….Antón has a lot of class and poise and we know that’s important to Pagan..also his type quite obviously includes men (and besides who wouldn’t be into giancarlo esposito), but regarding Antón, a lot of the properties found in the only person we know hes canonically been involved with romantically (Maria Marquessa) are also found in Pagan; charisma/big personality, work in publicity and media, their slightly manipulative tendencies, even down to their similar appearance. Ik this is like likening a filet mignon (Pagan) to Spam (Maria) but it’s for my point okay

-Speaking of Maria, one of the primary reasons her and Antón fell apart (according to the fc6 audiobook (listen to it pls and ty)) was differences regarding his ambitions and drive to become President. With Pagan these misunderstandings would be nonexistent as, once again, they have similair life experiences and an understanding of what it takes to do what they do

-I think they wld take good care of each other 👍Antón def needs someone to look after him as his cancer is slowly killing him which I think Pagan would do gladly. Besides the whole murdering people thing he’s a v caring person towards the ppl he loves. Pagan also needs someone to bring him out of his shell and show him he can love again which I think Antón could do. Once again in the fc6 audiobook Diego mentions that Antón gets uncharacteristically warm around the people he loves so imo it’s not too far fetched

-Final definitive reason: I like old evil man yaoi 👍and they should kill ppl together thats hot..thanks for reading like and subscribe 4 more

[mollymarymarie]

how do you plot your fics?

oh i am the worst person to answer this, you're going to hate me

the short answer is ... i sort of ... don't.

i have a general idea of what i want the fic to be about and i just roll with it. and this is the reason why i don't post chapters as they get finished, prior to completing the whole fic, because if i find something i want to happen later, i can go back and edit the earlier chapters to make sure they line up with what happens at the end.

that being said, i SORT OF outlined for DYH. because it takes place over the course of the week, i wanted to be sure i had plans for what was going to happen every day. for example, i wanted harry to show up, so i figured out which day that was going to happen. then i needed someone to block the tension building (because i couldn't feasibly keep apart without cause) so father albus came into play.

but for the most part, i just have a separate notes document for ideas that i have for the fic, things that i want to call back to, things that i want to be sure to add in later. less of an outline, more of a chaotic collection of ideas. a lot of my notes say things like 'and then this fucking asshole shows up' or 'remus gets super fucking drunk because he didn't make the podium or what the fuck ever' (that's verbatim from my wolfstar/Yuri On Ice WIP, by the way)

yeah so this was not helpful or advice-giving in any way but its because i'm a goblin person and i don't really know how to write technically, i just mash words together. but if you wanna talk about writing processes, i'm all about it and you can hit me up anytime!

[alaffy]

Gossip Girl, Ep2x07 – Dress me Up! Dress me down! (Spoilers)

Before I go into the episode, I would like to discuss one relationship that I haven’t really discussed; Max and Luna.  I want to say how much I appreciate their friendship; that they really have this best friend vibe going on.  They get each other in ways that I don’t think anyone else gets them (at least, not yet).  It’s just a very loving and supportive friendship.  As for the episode itself….

Seriously writers, you have got to stop having all the story arcs climax at the same time and in the same location.  This is getting stupid.  Yes, plots continue from episode to episode, but…how do I put this?  So many thing that are introduced in an episode are dealt with in that episode.  Or, on the rare occasions that they last more than one episode, they don’t last two.  Sure there may be fallout from those events, but it also feels like so many events don’t matter.  Like Julien’s story with Graham.  Or storylines could be made stronger by letting them play out longer. Like with Zoya’s and Monet’s story in this episode.  

This episode’s big event is a luncheon where people are getting awards and Kiki is showing off her new fashion collection (look, the more they talked about this luncheon, the less it made sense).  Of course Kiki is excited as this is a big step forward after, well, everything that’s happened.  Of course, we find out that Audrey hasn’t told her mother that Audrey’s father and Kiki’s ex-assistant are back in town and that Audrey is going to see them.  

I’ll be perfectly honest, this post is going to be less of a recap (although there will be some) and more my thoughts on the outcome of said events.  I should note that Shan is not in this episode.  Nick is in this episode, although briefly.  Aki is here, but there isn’t a story that focuses on him. Max does have a bit of a plot as he’s trying to impress Audrey’s dad.  But that ends when he realizes how much of an asshole the dad is (although I really did like how Max was able to call out exactly what was wrong with the dad).

There seems to be a possible romance in Luna’s future.  Also, I want to say how much Luna has grown on me over the two seasons.  At first, she was just a minion who’s name I couldn’t remember.  But now…honestly, things would be a lot less messy if they would just listen to Luna’s advice.  It’s kind of funny, but honestly I think Luna has the most power on the show as she can easily make or break a person.

With Obie, we have him trying to figure out a way to tell the world that his mother was the one who paid the expert to lie.  This time, he goes to his sister.  Obie points out to her that this isn’t like the other times that he’s gone against his mother; as, well, the mother always crosses the line but this time she did a long jump over it. At first, it doesn’t seem like the sister will help.  However, she lets Obie know how the mother was able to pay the expert and gives him the documents to prove it.  Obie sends this to GG and tells her to post it during the event, as his mother is getting an award.  And it has to be before the mother leaves for the airport, otherwise the mother will never come back to the US and Germany won’t extradite her. Sure.  Of course, GG is dealing with her own stuff (get to that in a minute) and it isn’t posted.  Obie sister tells him he can never do anything right and threatens that he’d better not tell anyone that she helped him.    

Meanwhile, Georgina now has access to GG and, if Kate doesn’t show she has what it takes to create chaos, Georgina will lock Kate out of the account and run GG herself.  Look this whole part of this episode is stupid (well, not Georgina, I really do like her).  But they basically get Georgina to go away by making GG boring for her by posting a picture of Kate and Jordan kissing and saying they’re having an affair. A kiss that makes Kate realize that she has feeling for Jordan.  Which Kate ends up not telling him because she finds out that Georgina pretended to be someone else and slept with Jordan.  And I guess that, in the world of teen drama, this is a big thing. However, Kate has come to the realization that Georgina has awoken something in her; that she doesn’t want to focus on the small stuff anymore.  Which almost makes it sound like she’s going after the parents (well, the last couple of episodes have given us enough shitty parents to work with, soo…).

Zoya, once again, is used as a pawn.  In this case, Camille invites Zoya to this event under the guise of wanting to get to know Zoya better and possible helping Zoya make connections that will help her further in life.  Zoya agrees to go, but it’s made very clear that Zoya doesn’t completely believe Camille. She does understand that there is quite possibly an ulterior motive under all of this.  Still, she also knows that she’s basing her thoughts about Camille based on what she’s heard from other sources, not by her own experiences.  So, Zoya goes into this with the belief that she should give Camille a chance, but also very aware this is probably not what it seems.

And, of course, it isn’t what it seems.  It turns out that Camille is using Zoya to punish Monet.  See, the ticket Zoya has was originally Monet’s until she turned it down.  And, instead of being an adult and talking to her daughter, Camille takes Zoya in Monet’s place; knowing full well this would cause Monet to sneak into the event. Camille tells Zoya exactly what she is doing and, as soon as she sees Monet, gives Zoya a big hug; treating Zoya like a daughter in front of her actual daughter.  And I have so many thoughts about this scene and what happens next.

First off, let’s be clear that Camille is mentally and emotionally abusive toward her daughter. We’ve seen more then enough evidence before this episode, but this....No kind of stable parent would create this as a punishment for their child, especially over turning down a ticket.  At least, my mother wouldn’t have.  Of course, my mother respected me enough as a human being at that age that she would have asked me if I wanted to go.  But it’s very clear that Camille wants to browbeat her daughter into whatever she wants Monet to be, then gets pissed off at Monet when it doesn’t go to plan (as if Monet didn’t learn a lot of her shitty behavior from her mother).

I will also say that this part of the plot should have gone on for more then one episode, especially considering Monet’s response.  Monet knows why her mother is doing this, she even tells Zoya beforehand.  What would have been a surprise to Monet is if Camille kept using Zoya as this “surrogate daughter” even after the event.  Like, instead of even inviting Monet to things, she’d invite Zoya. Maybe even does a few “mother/daughter” activities with Zoya.  If that had happened then maybe, maybe I could see Monet being desperate enough to get rid of Zoya by any means necessary that she sends that post into Gossip Girl.

And let’s talk about that post.  To be clear, it doesn’t matter if it happened like it did in the show or the way I suggested; Monet would always be in the wrong.  Not only is she slut shaming Zoya; she is one of the few people that knows the tape was not consensual.  So, I don’t have a problem with GG calling her out for this behavior.  That being said, I do feel slightly for Monet that the whole story isn’t out there.  That it seems like she randomly shamed Zoya out of the blue.  Again, not saying she shouldn’t have been called out but….

Well, it’s kind of been the message of this season starting with Mike.  There’s no point in going after the little stuff, if the big stuff that’s causing this is being ignored.  In the case of Monet, we’ve seen her called out several times in this season for her behavior; which she should be.  However, what we have not seen is anyone calling out Camille De Haan’s treatment of her daughter.  If Camille was removed from her daughter’s life, or if someone where able to show Monet how much she has been abused by her mother, I wonder how much of Monet would change.  And maybe if GG would out Camille’s behavior….

But I am also wondering where this will go between Zoya and Monet.   Zoya’s face, when she saw the GG message, was a mix of feelings.  There was anger, sure, but I feel like there was almost a sense of pity.  Like, if I were Zoya I would probably be angry that Monet put that out there; but I would probably be more angry at Camille as it was clear this was an act of desperation on Monet’s part to get her mother’s approval.

As for Julien and Audrey, I’m going to skip the recap and deal with their behaviors.  So, there are several things that caused Audrey to tell Julien to stay away from her.  And let’s be clear, this isn’t an issue where one person is right and one is wrong. Also, there are outside factors that have to be taken into account.

Audrey is right that Julien puts herself in places that she shouldn’t.  Now I disagree that she does it because she wants attention.  Or rather, I think Julien does it because she wants to help; but she doesn’t know how to help without getting personally involved, which ends up putting her at the center of attention.  Julien also doesn’t seem to understand is that, sometimes, the best way to help is not to do anything at all.  For instance, when Audrey became angry with Julien over the fake emails (and the lies Julien did tell to GG), Luna advised Julien to just give Audrey space and that Audrey would come around.  Instead, Julien tried to be proactive and agreed to put Jessica on “Stop the Story” (not sure why she thought that would work, but still).  And, in the end, it did make everything worse as Jessica was able to create a fake video making it look like Julien was covering for Kiki.  If Julien would have listened to Luna’s advice, that video wouldn’t have been made. 

Also, Julien was so worried about what Audrey felt about Julien in that moment, she didn’t consider what Audrey was going through.  Audrey was dealing with her father’s sudden engagement and afraid that everything going on, especially if it didn’t go well, would be a setback to her mother’s health.  Now, did Audrey unfairly accuse Julien of some things during this episode?  Yes, which we will get to in a moment.  But it wouldn’t have hurt Julien to, again, take a step back; let Audrey deal with her mother and her father; and then, in a quieter moment, discuss with Audrey about how Julien felt that Audrey just believed that GG was telling the truth.  

As for Audrey, yes it should be taken into account everything that she was going through in that moment.  That is a lot for a teenager to deal with.  Still, that doesn’t mean that, at some point, someone shouldn’t point out to her that her behavior wasn’t exactly acceptable either.  First off, Audrey talks about how Julien only considers herself, but the same can be said about Audrey. Let’s go to the breakfast with her dad and the way Audrey spoke to Julien.  Yes, maybe Julien should have toned it down a bit, but she didn’t really start saying anything until Audrey’s dad kept bringing up Julien’s personal life; something Julien was clearly uncomfortable about.  Julien may have been there for Audrey; but that doesn’t mean that Julien should have been subject to this and Audrey really should have tried to shut that line of conversation down.    

Second, Audrey was totally out of line about the emails (just the emails, not about what Julien sent to GG).  Julien is right that they have been friends long enough for Audrey to know that Julien wouldn’t have done such a thing.  Also, common sense should have told  Audrey that it was weird GG just so happened to get that email just when her father and Jessica showed up.  Again, some allowance for what Audrey was going through, but she does need to own the fact that she was out of line in this moment.

Third, the dress reveal was not Julien’s fault.  And I’m not talking about how the dress was revealed (that’s on both girls), I’m talking about the fact that Jessica straight up told Kiki that she was able to steal her dress ideas because she was able to get into Kiki’s accounts.  In other words, even if Julien hadn’t done the video with Jessica; Jessica still could of shown up in a dress that Kiki was going to show and accuse Kiki of stealing her ideas (although the video makes her case stronger).  The fact is, Jessica and Audrey’s father were there to harm Kiki and Audrey needed to address them and their behavior; not pin it on Julien.  

Anyway, at the end of the episode, Julien and Obie leave the event together.  They go back to his apartment (which is his again) and reconnect. They both acknowledge that they did things that helped to end their relationship and, sure enough, they get back together.  Later, while Julien is asleep, Obie gets a text from GG.  GG says that she’s ready to work with Obie.  Obie agrees but only on the condition that it stays between them.

[rockplaylists]

sage jarious kelly is known as the emo boy backstage at wwe. he is 26 years old and a valet for cm punk and resides in red bank, new jersey. he has an obsession with shopping at hot topic stores to this day despite his parents hopes for this to be just a phase. the person that got him into wrestling is his older sister and younger brother which all started because of an undertaker action figure.

“ note to self; if you feel unwanted or like an outcast, remember that you are like fries at the bottom of the bag; unnoticed at first, but eventually someone is going to love to see you!   “

PERSONALITY

+  flirtatious, playful, wisecracking - sarcastic, defiant, devious

LIKES AND DISLIKES

👍  marijuana, rock music, getting tattooed, collecting several different stuffed animals then naming them after his favorite band members, vegan dinosaur chicken nuggets, doing his makeup, watching horror movies, coloring with crayon in coloring books, pirates, rob zombie and lava lamps. 👎 being exploited and objectified, being alone, people trying to comfort him, losing credibility, overly religious people, corrupted police officers, and being forced to share his feelings.

HISTORY

tba.

CONNECTIONS

priscilla kelly - when they first reunited after sage ranaway from home, priscilla was holding on to a lot of resentment towards her brother for basically making her get stuck with their parents after they got a divorce. following the divorce, their mother reportedly started drinking and had displayed erratic behavior, and distanced herself from the family and their father was getting thrown in jail on a regular basis. along with the fear of child protective services knocking on the door, threatening to take their youngest brother away due to their parents' irresponsible behavior, which was all things that she can't even imagine exactly how she had made it on her own without the help from sage. however, within some time they were bonding as siblings again and were able to build a close relationship with each other, closer than the one that sage has with his younger brother. priscilla always confides in sage whenever she has a problem, she turns to him whenever she needs advice on raising their brother, or even for more general type of things as well.

phil brooks - phil is a close friend of sage. initially, sage began to develop a sexual attraction to phil immediately after they were both called inside of the boss's office to explain how sage was going to be phil's valet from now on. sage had then begun to flirt with and even proposition phil, much to the latter's annoyance and even throws dismissive expletives at him. although it seems, after their initial meeting, they were off to a bad start, their relationship had greatly improved. phil is now genuinely caring about sage, and wants to protect him from harm. phil also sees when sage is being fake with him, and he tries to get through his "act", phil describes it on multiple occasions, which makes sage feel uncomfortable any time that he does call him out for it.

damon williams - damon is sage's former boyfriend that basically had a hand in helping sage runaway from home. while sage is really appreciative of what damon has done for him, he is also rather intimidated being around this man no matter the cause and is physically uncomfortable in his presence, even back when he was working for him before finding a way out, and deep down has strong hatred towards him. it isn't that hard to believe either considering the fact that damon would try to simultaneously sweet talk sage by calling him his baby and asking him to come back home to him, then switch to verbally abusing him and threatening to kill sage and his family.

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

honk :o) loona with a big tall intimidating female s/o she's literally a fucking BEAR. basically a silent gentle giant type who also happens to really like hugs lol anyways maybe they meet each other at a bar or something idfk. i just want loona to have at least one person outside of IMP she can talk to

Loona with just a mountain of an S/O, whom is also a gentle giant.

Loona remembers vividly the day you met.

She had gone to a bar, hoping to perhaps find someone, or maybe find some friends.

Hell, even getting drunk would be good enough.

She sat around for a hours, steadily burning through her pay check and after a few drinks, she decided to walk around.

Getting up she strolled past a few demons, seeing groups of them all sitting together, laughing and shit.

Taking a violent swig, she walked forwards only to barge into something.

Falling on her ass, Loona yelled at whatever it was. But looking up, the girl was frozen solid.

Before her stood a giant demon. Not in fat, or anything like that. You were just a big demon, tall with broad shoulders.

The girl, frozen solid, had thought she had just seriously fucked up. Figuring for sure you were gonna tear her apart, or skin her, or eat her, using her ribs as toothpicks... her mind was overloaded with grizzly fates.

But instead, you just crouched down, extending a hand and gently bringing her to her feet.

The two of you would have a surprisingly pleasant back and forth. As despite your intimidating stature, you seemed like a real sweetheart, as strang as that felt to say for the young hound'et.

The two of you would develope something of a friendship. She says something because you spoke so little she found it hard to tell sometimes.

But either way, the two of you were spending time together. She dare say you were her first real friend.

And while you didn't speak much, she was quickly able to pick up on your facial ticks, the hellhound able to decipher what each look and twitch meant.

The two of you quickly became very close, the Hellhound going out on a limb and deciding to trust you with some of her more personal thoughts. Really hoping she wouldn't regret it.

You rarely spoke, at least outside of a few words at a time, but with her you often gave very useful advice, and always took her problems seriously. Something she sppreciated more then you could possibly understand.

While it would take time, the hellhound initially having no idea how to handle them, she quickly found herself developing feelings for you.

She would prod you gently, seeing how you feel about her. The girl not being nearly as subtle as she thought she was, The girl left utterly in shock when you leaned down and kissed her.

You began a, strange relationship.

With you being a gentle giant, while she was a emotionally unstable teenage girl.

You turned out to be very affectionate when together, you loving to curl up with her, sometimes just walking up and giving her big strong hug.

And while she would get all huffy and act annoyed, she secretly loved it. Sure she got upset when you did it infront of Blitzø or the married idiots.

But when in private, she loved it when you held her close, letting her nuzzling into your imposing form.

It was pure bliss for the girl.

Youd often end up at I.M.P with her, you weren't sure how, you didn't work there, but you always ended up with Loona curled up in your arms, the girl glaring daggers at anyone who brought it up.

You and Blitzø had an interesting dynamic.

He of course, being the overprotective stereotype of a father, would naturally threaten you with a gruesome fate if you hurt her In anyway.

You on the other hand, were as calm as always. Calm and collected, and with your height, Blitzø literally had to stand on Moxxie to who was on top a desk to look you in the eyes.

But over time, Blitzø would warm up to you, finding your gentle giant nature rather hilarious.

The idea of someone so big who wasn't some asshole always looking for a fight was a refreshing change of pace.

Millie and Moxxie just loved you. Millie thinking you were like a big teddy bear, while Moxxie liked your calm and collected nature. The both of them believing you were perfect for the jaded teen.

There would be the occasional problem, Loona having the occasional outburst when she thought you weren't really showing her any affection, although it usually came from the girls ingrained insecurity.

The girl had ended up in tears more then once when, mid fight, you held her to your chest, telling her firmly you loved her. You loved her with all your heart.

There would be the occasional problem, and there would be the odd hiccup, but you loved each other deeply. The girl loved you, she loved you so much sometimes it hurt her chest just thinking about it.

And you, while rarely putting it into words loved her in kind, always making sure she knew it, one way or another.

[everythingthemoontouches]

💙Hi there! , First of all i want to tell you that i love your blog! And i love how your posts are so accurate!💙 If its okay with you could you please do me a favor by describing how others see me,my appearance or more specifically the vibe I radiate to others! It would mean alot to me if you you do that💙I'm a cancer sun,leo rising,Lilith sextile asc, Pluto trine asc, Uranus opposition asc, Moon opposition asc, mars sextile venus, mars opposition neptune, asteroid lilith conjunct mc and jupiter in the 1st house!💙

Hola!

Thank you that's really kind of you 💛💕

You know that quote that says Cinderella never asked for a prince. All she wanted was a night out and a dress. You kind of exude a similar vibe but with respect to leadership positions. 'I never asked to be Queen/King, but the people have spoken' kind of an energy. You would be equally happy to be by yourself, learning about the subconscious mind, higher realms and other esoteric science.

For more on Jupiter in LEO I'd recommend watching Astrofinesse.

For jupiter in the first there's KRS.

🌻As a Leo rising you come across as someone outgoing, with a playful energy but you're also somehow someone people would expect to see in a position of authority. You're drawn to people who stimulate you intellectually and love to exchange ideas.

😬If you have an Aquarius saturn you could be having some challenges in your relationships since December 2020 as saturn transits your 7th house. I'd suggest practicing discernment in this area as well as signing contracts with people until it passes( early 2023) ..

😇12th house sun could take on other people's energy. I feel like you need some time away, by yourself, preferably at the beach / pool/ shower to declutter, clear your head and replenish your sense of Self. You could be highly intuitive. If this resonates, I'd urge you to look up empath drain and how to protect yourself from energy vampires.

Ruler of the ascendant in the 12th :

spirituality could be a huge part of your life. For some people this could show a father (figure) who was convicted or worked in a prison / asylum. They could also have a really remote job. Since the sun is also your own personal identity, you could profit off these themes. Working in a mental health facility, overseas, in esoteric crafts.

🌛With your moon in the 7th house, you probably attract a lot of older women, (queen of swords) nurturing energies . Your mom could have a major influence on any business partnerships that you enter.

In relationships you could have a here today gone tomorrow kind of a presence. This is because as the moon waxes and wanes so does your attraction / attachment to specific people?

♒Aquarius moon : it could be really hard for you to express your feelings. So Instead of asking for a hug there could be a tendency to say something like ' ew imagine asking for one?' you leave a place better than you found it. If you watch hindi movies, 3 Idiots could be a movie you really resonate with. ( I pretty much spent the day looking up the lead actor, who has major aquarius placements and his films have always been disruptive with a really nice social message that left people talking for years after they were released. I tell you this because he shares 2 of your big 3 - aquarius and cancer.)

Going off on this tangent you could be a well respected teacher / writer / entertainer. Jupiter in LEO could help with this.

I do feel like you need a certain amount of inventiveness in your relationships. The people you're with are people who introduce you to new hobbies / ideas / technologies. You need to feel like you guys learn something new or create something that matters together. This is enhanced by uranus in the 7th house. You could come across really cold because you always give people the naked honest truth when asked. You do this from a place of love. I'm reminded of the Queen of Swords card in the rider Waite tarot. Not everyone has the maturity to take it. Or maybe they've just had a bad day. It is what it is. Perhaps try to not be so incisive if this is something you struggle with.

In the same vein, if I asked you to write down how you were feeling how long would it take for you to identify the right emotion. How honest are you with yourself?

Moon and Uranus being in the same house could show that stagnation could really hurt your mental health / happiness / satisfaction levels.

With a saturn ruled moon I feel like I need to remind you to not be so hard on yourself. Like. The world won't crumble to dust if you allow yourself to take care of you once in a while.there's only so much you can do.

All those coffee mugs will catch up. There's no such thing as extra hours in the day. A lack of sleep manifests as early signs of aging. No hate for the elderly but arthritis is not a fun ailment to have. Do you wanna be 60 with 80 year old nervous system problems? I rest my case.

Uranus and moon aspect your ascendant so you could have a slightly plump look?

Jupiter in the first house people usually have prominent thighs. I had a friend with this placement and when we were growing up she used to complain of chafed thighs a lot?

Mars sextile venus you could be your own type? The way you act and the way you want your future partners to express love could be quite similar which is good for healthy relationships.

There could be a tendency to spend impulsively.

With Mars sextiling venus you could be someone who earns more the more active their lifestyle is? Like, you may need to be an agile learner to keep money flowing in .

Jupiter in LEO in a woman's chart usually shows they'd have a financially well off spouse so money may not be a huge concern. He could be a sailor or earn via exports/ navy. It's hard to say without knowing where your Saturn is.

The image you project to the world could be a lot more outgoing than how you actually feel. You're more private than people think.

With a fire rising, water sun and air moon you could either be a really balanced person or just have a number of clashing ideas on who to be, what to do and achieve.

Descendant : The people that hate on you could attack your need to stand out /try to dim your time in the spotlight. Think aquarius themes of standing out to improve community clashing with Leo's need to stand out solely because it helps their ego. Like your confidence could trigger the part if them that felt judged negatively for expressing their individuality.

Do you feel like you thrive in chaos? I'm guessing you're atleast in your late 20s if not older, so you might have gotten better at dealing with people acting unexpectedly. Your mom could have been unpredictable. Really intelligent, but forgets to eat ..

🥤🦀As a cancer sun, you could be the friend your friends come to for advice. There could be a tendency to be a little too selfless. I think your aqua moon really serves as a shield to those who try to take advantage of your caring nature. Have you considered a career in psychic medium ship? Or any spiritual art/ past life regression / you get the drift..

Is there a family craft or hobby that you could monetize? Jupiter in LEO could signify ancestral gains.

Lilith and Pluto aspects to ascendant can make you come across really sexy / a bit unapproachable because people feel like you have some kind of power that places you above them?

Due to this, people with Pluto / Lilith aspects can feel some kind of hurt around people clearing up the path around them if that makes sense.

Jupiter opposite moon : there could be a clash between you want to do VS what you feel you should be doing.

Jupiter in the first house : you could have been born rich? Or people just perceive you that way. They also see you as someone wordly wise and lucky in general. You could know a lot about a wide variety of things. Specially on topics related to appearance, personal development, image consciousness etc. Since the ruler of the first is in the 12th I feel like some of your wisdom comes from a divine source. Like you're tapping into some kind of a collective reservoir of knowledge. In starseed terminology we would refer to this as downloads.

Jupiter rules the 8th house and 5th house.

So love, romance, games, early education may have been a bit of a breeze for you.

Jupiter is usually a bit of a celibate spiritual person. So, while it may make you really wise with respect to things like the occult / tarot / other 8th house themes, I'm not sure how it would impact your sex life with a spouse. Sex could be either a deeply spiritual experience for you or take on more neptunian traits. Addiction / alcoholism / drug use the works. Jupiter expands the themes of the house it rules so a word of caution there.

Travelling could bring you luck. Or even love.

Did I hear Mars opposite Neptune?

This could be a literal battlefield. You could feel like you need to work for love.if Neptune is unconditional love and Mars is your drive, then you could literally match to get to taht elusive unconditional sense of belonging /love / acceptance. But what are you marching towards really? A mirage? With this aspect I'd really be on the guard against addiction of any kind. Neptune is enticing, alluring, mocking Mars for its need to conquer. It could lend a really nice swagger to your walk. A runway model could benefit from thus placement. At uts best this aspect imbues you with creativity, inspiration, otherworldly imagination and the energy required to turn your abstract ideas of art into something tangible.

Here's a source for more on this placement. Sometimes I find that the comments really help me make sense of my own placements

Toodles

Before I sign off, I just have to say this :please try to restrict asks to 2-3 placements. You can send in multiple asks if you'd like, but answering them all in one ask can get a bit cluttered and I'd hate to miss out on something 😊

Hope this helped 💕as always, I'd really appreciate your feedback on this take on how these placements affect you.

[nagirambles]

Hiya I was wondering do you have any HCs on Macao as a father figure ? (We didn’t see much of Macao bonding with Romeo , that and I feel like Macao would teach Natsu new tricks like how Natsu remember Macao advice while fighting Erigor , maybe even Macao treating Cana for some ice cream when she was younger or maybe Macao being a decent father figure towards Lucy or just Macao going on a shopping spree with Kinana ?)

I think Macao’s the key ‘male adult’ reference for a lot of the guild younger generation. Wakaba would be too, but Macao’s got more ‘dad’ to him, while Wakaba’s the weird uncle. They just collectively decided to pseudo-adopt all the children once they came in, though they don’t exactly do a good job. Mind if I include Wakaba in this headcanon ramble?

Macao would be Cana’s first good father figure, of course. He invited her in to begin with, and he probably walked her home to the orphanage afterward. He’d talk to her most, and he’s probably also the reason she got an alcohol addiction. They have a special bond, and are definitely much more like father and daughter than Gildarts (not to cheapen that relationship though, it’s just different). I’d like to think Cana gets plenty of dumb habits from him, like the way she sits vulgarly, the way she laughs, all those little things people won’t notice unless they looked closely. 

I’d like to think Laxus and Gray got into smoking because of Wakaba. Wakaba is of course the first to associate with Gray, but before that, I’d think they were both interested in Wakaba because of his delinquent-type image. Pompadours, though they look lame, are actually stereotypical for Japanese delinquent culture. You associate them with gangs, yakuza, etc, and I like to think Wakaba used to be one, and thus, Laxus and Gray aspired to be as cool as he was, and that brought them to their edgy personalities. 

Gildarts is the one that seized ‘custody’ of Natsu, but Macao fought tooth and nail for that and lost, I reckon. (I like to think he still fights for Cana’s sometimes.) Macao and Wakaba’s first interaction with Natsu definitely involved the fact that the kid’s a fire mage. Natsu was probably super intrigued by that unique fire magic for a while, until everyone realized Natsu’s was much more unique. I like to think Macao and Wakaba loved bragging about the things their magic could do (Macao’s sticky fire to Natsu, Wakaba’s uniquely-shaped and moving smoke to Gray, etc) and thus, adores it when the kids find new applications for their magic. 

In the same way Macao and Wakaba suggested for Cana to learn Card magic, I like to think they suggested for Lisanna and Elfman to learn Take Over, and probably helped them find the books and guidance necessary.  

Sometimes, Macao and Wakaba look at the state of the children and wonder where they went wrong in raising them. They were genuinely trying, too. 

I like to think the kids still go to them when they need somewhere to hide, or someone to talk to when they’re troubled. Or even just someone to drink with and hopefully ask no questions (usually Cana). I like to think the girls used to bring Macao and Wakaba around to shop for presents for their wives on birthdays and anniversaries, because their tastes in gifts are horrible. Despite that, they will still force Macao and Wakaba to bring them to good shops when they need to buy presents for the other kids, because they need recommendations to good places, and second opinions on specific gifts. 

In that vein, the kids definitely start rambling about miscellaneous topics out of excitement around them, eg Laki about books, Erza about new armour on the market, Natsu about the taste of fire, etc. Macao and Wakaba just gotta listen and nod at the right times, they don’t mind. 

The kids are very strict on these two, often chiding them and lecturing them over little nothings, like if they’re drinking or not taking care of their kids, or lounging doing nothing, or whatever. Wakaba and Macao thinks it’s really weird how they’ve started acting like mothers. Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around. They now fear the kids because they’ll sometimes just come in and start nagging them to get a damn job. 

Despite the kids now earning a lot more money than Macao and Wakaba, they never ask for money or support from the kids. The kids always insist, but Macao and Wakaba are very stern on not accepting any financial aid. They compromise by treating Romeo and Wakaba’s daughter to free food and other things every time they meet them in the guild or out. chance upon them. These kids are spoiled to death as long as they stay in Magnolia. 

[damn-stark]

Ch.11: Out of the shadows

Chapter 11 of Cherry

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy the chapter 😏

Warning- ANGST, LONG CHAPTER!, Talks of loss, violence, fluff, swearing, SLOWBURN.

Pairing- Jean Kirstein x reader,

Episodes- 3x38-3x39

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

“Is she still out there?”

Sasha looks out the big glass window and nods her head to confirm your wandering question. Albeit she doesn’t linger behind to worry over Historia like you were.

For days now, ever since arriving at the secluded cabin, Historia has liked to go outside a few minutes before the sun set to sit on the grass all by herself. She never asks for company, or explains why she does; mainly because she rarely speaks, but nevertheless she just sits outside all by herself and doesn’t return inside until the night has completely taken over the bright sky.

Except for today. Historia was outside, but there was no sunset to admire. The sky was invaded with dark clouds that brought rain to patter down onto the earth, making the air smell bitter and yet sweet, but not allowing the sky to give any clear indication when day transitioned into night. Not like Historia seemed to mind as she stayed under the rain, letting you build the courage to go speak to her. Even if it meant with you'd get dirty and soaked.

“Mind if I bring some light?” You ask her quietly as you set the lamp down beside her.

Historia slowly drags her eyes up to your face and right away notices the hesitance on your face. She doesn’t speak about it and instead shakes her head to answer your question before returning her gaze to nothing in particular.

“Okay,” you breathe out as you painfully sit down on the ground beside her. “Nice night, don’t you agree?”

“I suppose,” Historia shrugs gloomily.

You smile softly and lift your hand to watch the raindrops collect on your palm. “I love the sound of rain.” You ball your hand and turn it around to then open your fist and let the rain drip down from your hand. “Especially when I’m reading, I like to sit by a window, with tea and a book. It’s very comforting.” You blink to look back at her, seeing that your words went through one ear and left through the other. Her wavered attention didn't discourage you, it should have, but you stayed prominent to your spot and goal—“You know,” you continued in a much softer voice. “When I miss someone who’s gone, I like to wear something that belonged to them. It doesn’t smell like them anymore, but knowing that they used to wear it brings me comfort.” You sigh deeply and look down at your hands on your lap.

Historia finally pulls her attention from the dark horizon ahead and shifts her eyes to look at you. She stays quiet and let’s the sound of the rain falling on the roof of the cabin, and on the ground play uninterrupted for a few minutes as the meaning behind your words processed in her mind. She thought of not answering and being content with your suggestion in silence, but she needed to ask. Just once. “Do you miss him?”

You lift your head and turn your eyes to meet her blue ones that gleamed brighter by the tears welled in her eyes, and the light of the lamp in between you both. “Who?” You question cluelessly.

“Reiner.” She shares, making you grow stiff. “I mean I just saw the way he looked at you, the way he treated you. Were you guys dating?”

You shake your head and mindlessly begin fiddling with your fingers as you choose to answer her with the truth to one of her questions. “No we weren’t dating.” You pause and swallow thickly, taking note of your habit and instead tucking your hands into your sleeves to wipe the rain off your face. “It was just a fling, nothing to it. Plus,” you exhale deeply as your voice softens. “There's no room in my heart for traitors.”

“Was Ymir a traitor?” Historia asks bluntly, once again making you grow rigid with her very straightforward questions. This time instead of answering right away you wait and think of your words very carefully. You didn’t lie to her, or avoid answering, there was no need to with this question.

“No,” you shake your head, “she was different then the other two.” You shift around where you sat to be able to fully face her, while you kept ignoring the pouring rain that made your clothes stick to your body, and brought your body temperature down to an uncomfortable level. “When I was with them, after they took us, the one thing she was sure of was protecting you. She cares about you. She didn’t betray you. She wouldn't.”

Historia’s lip trembles before she drops her head to hide her emotions expressed on her face. Emotions she failed to contain and let out as quiet sobs that caused her whole body to tremble with cold and emotions. You wanted to comfort her, grab her shoulders or rub her back but she shot up and began to cry out what she had contained since Ymir left. “I can’t stand it! Why? She chose them over me?!” Her eyes snap up to meet your bewildered expression. “She said we’d live for our own sakes. But now she’s left me behind.” She falls down to sit on her knees, letting out a shaking breath and dropping her head again, letting the rain shower over her hunched body. “Just like everyone else did. My father, my mother—Ymir left me.”

“I’m sorry,” is all you could offer in a broken voice as your own eyes fell, and filled with similar glum emotions. “I can’t offer you a clear explanation as to why Ymir left, but I can offer you some comfort.” You look up at the same time she does. “As to your parents, just know you’re not alone. My father left me too. My mother…well,” you shrug, “I don’t remember her. Not even a bit, so I don’t think she was a good person worth remembering.” You offer her an assuring smile while you wipe off the water that dripped down your nose. “It hurts. I know, trust me, but you said that you and Ymir would live for your sakes right? Well, do it. No matter what.”

Historia’s eyes flicker up to you and she wipes the tears and raindrops off her cheeks. Her lips maintained her frown, not giving any indication if she would take the advice, but she did nod stiffly, letting you know that she was at least listening to you.

——

“I’m done cleaning upstairs!” You exclaim as you rush in the kitchen. “It took forever since no one helped,” you look at Connie. “But,” you sigh in relief, “It’s spotless.” You pull the mask off your mouth and let it hang around your neck, seeing Eren look back at you to address your comment.

“Good. Captain Levi is almost here. We just need this area here before we’re done.”

You swipe the bandana off your head and can’t help but smile sadly at a passing memory of Petra, Gunther, Eld, and Oluo in a similar cleaning situation. It’s something you couldn’t help but share out loud. “You know what this reminds me of?” You direct to Eren. “Cleaning with the Levi squad. The first one.”

“Yeah,” Eren nods slowly as his eyes fall back to what he was sweeping. His shoulders dropped but he hid what he felt with annoyance. “Only they knew how to clean.” His hands clench tighter around the broomstick and he begins to grumble. “Now it feels like we’re the only ones doing all the work.”

Connie shoots his head up and glares at Eren. “Hey man! Am I painted on the wall or something?”

You smirk and throw the bandana on the dirty pile basket. “You have room to learn.” Before he could add a snarky remark the door opens and Sasha, Jean and Armin walk back inside with the boxes of rations that had arrived.

“Hey!” Eren exclaims to the group, “did you guys wipe the dust and dirt off your shoes before you came in?”

“Huh?” Jean questions as he looks up at Eren whilst he sets the sacks of food down. “No, we didn’t. Can't you see all the stuff we’re carrying?”

You scoff at Jean’s comment and grab the canister from Armins hands to put it on the table whilst you watch Eren march towards Jean to complain further. “Do you seriously think that attitude will satisfy Captain Levi?”

You peek over at the duo and pretend to do something around the kitchen to continue listening to the argument—“If I hadn’t personally made your bed this morning—” Eren argues, making you snort.

Jean hears you and looks to you with a widened and almost horrified expression before his eyes snapped back to Eren to shout at him out of embarrassment. “Shut up! Quit nagging! Who are you, my mom?”

“We’re back.” Mikasa announced as her and Historia finally rejoined the group inside.

“Wait,” Armin protested, “were you just chopping firewood?”

You tilt your head and narrow your eyes on her. “I thought I told you no heavy lifting, and to tell me when you were leaving.”

“Gotta stay in shape.” She quips.

“You got grabbed by a Titan!” Armin shouted as he stepped towards her. “You should be in bed.”

“I try to stop her, but she won’t listen,” Eren interjects in a grumble. “I saw her doing sit ups earlier!”

You sigh and watch Armin follow after her to continue scolding her in his own gentle way before Sasha interjected. “It’s almost like we’re back in the Cadet Corps.”

“Yeah,” you nod.

“Why do you figure we were chosen for the new Levi Squad, though?” Armin can’t help but ask. “Protecting Eren and Historia is such an important mission.”

That was a good question, and one with many different possibilities, but only one you could think of, and Sasha said that for you. “Because we’re talented, I assume.” Albeit she didn’t say it in your exact words. Regardless, as she was answering Armin, she quickly shoved something in her bag that caught your immediate attention.

“Sasha,” you grimace, “what did you just put in your bag?” You turn to face her with a fuming and intimidating glare, but all Sasha does is slowly look up at you with an unaffected expression to lie to your face.

“Nothing bread-related.”

“Why, you!” Jean cut in as well whilst he stormed towards her.

You move towards her and snap back. “Give it back.” “Hey, focus!” Eren interrupts, “we gotta finish cleaning before the Captain gets back!” However no one really listened as you all tried to fight Sasha to put the bread back before said man you were trying to avoid getting upset, walked in.

“What’s the commotion about?” Levi broke the tension, creating a much thicker one as he walked towards the table, causing your shoulders to stiffen, and your angry expression to fall while you met Erens matching concerned gaze. And as Levi swept his hand under the table and dust and dirt fell from the wood, that concern turned to slight fear. Even more so as he lifted his hand and faced the group to address the situation. “I’m quite sure I gave you enough time.” Levi grabs his cloth from his pocket inside his coat and cleans off the dust and dirt collected on his fingers. “Anyways, we’ll discuss your lax cleaning job another time. Eren, Hange is itching to get the experiment started.”

As far as experiments went, you thought it went rather well for the first two hours. Eren listened well to instructions while in his Titan form, he performed all his given tasks well too and you couldn’t deny that he was impressive; he could write, he couldn’t speak because of the shape of his mouth, he could last a pretty long time, but only transform a few times before he seemed to go groggy and lose memory as his consciousness dwindled. The one thing he couldn’t do was harden himself like everyone wanted him to. It was weird, but there was an explanation, there always was.

——

“Huh? What was that?” Levi asks Hange after they and their squad walk into the small cabin, with their face contorted into distress and a hint of sadness.

“He’s dead…” they announce once more. “Pastor Nick. He was murdered. This morning, in the Trost District barracks.”

Levi’s face grows even more serious as the thoughts in his mind begin to churn, he hums and shows no remorse like Hange was. Instead he guided everyone to sit around the table and the couch beside it so Hange could explain in more depth what they and Moblit had seen, and what their thoughts were behind the bloody scene. And as they talked you grabbed the pot of tea you had made and served Levi, Hange and rest of the older Scouts before you walked back to sit on your seat. Albeit before you could serve yourself, Connie pushes his empty cup towards you, and quietly, and discreetly points to it so you could get the hint to serve him first. You smile kindly and grab the cups you set on the table to serve everyone but him.

Now you weren’t being petty, or anything. Not even because he was assigned to clean the table and didn’t clean it well the other day, causing you and the rest of your friends to get a long cleaning speech. No that’s not it.

Regardless you sat down beside Jean and across from Eren, feeling your mood go down as Hange continued with the heavy topic. “I figured the Church would want to deal with Nick since he was cooperating with the Scouts.” Hange explains, “that’s why I hid his identity and had him stay in the barracks, but….to think they would use soldiers to kill him. I was too careless. It’s entirely my fault.”

The room goes quiet for a minute, growing the tension thick enough that it felt as if you were carrying it on your shoulders. You tried to ease the tension, but such a grim topic was hard to brush off, especially as Armin decided to add onto the weight of the tension. “The military police…did they torture Pastor Nick just to find out what information he spilled to us?”

Levi sets his cup down and answers Armin in the same serious and unaffected voice. “Most likely. But it was the Interior Military Police, which means there’s something more behind it. So,” he turns and looks to Hange. “How many nails did Nick have ripped off?”

“Huh?”

“You saw, right? How many?” Levi asks, making you swallow thickly and tighten your hold around your teacup.

“I only caught a glimpse of him,” they answer, “but all the nails that I could see.”

“People that talk, talk after one.” Levi explains, “if they don’t, peeling more won’t make a difference.” Levi looks away from Hange, but continues, not noticing how you began to quickly tap the side of your cup out of uneasiness of the gruesome conversation. Perhaps it was something you needed to get used to, but fighting and killing Titans was one thing, talking of hurting human beings was something else completely. It was never part of your job, nor anyone else’s in the Scout Regiment.—“Pastor Nick…I thought he was an idiot, but. He didn’t turn away from what he believed, all the way til the end. In other words, they have no idea we’ve caught wind of the Reiss family. Though, someone in the government is up to no good, and their eyes are fixed on us.”

Right as Levi finishes, the front door opens and a soldier named Nifa, from Hanges squad, walks in and heads directly towards Levi to hand him a note from Commander Erwin. “I went to tell him about Pastor Nick, but he sent me off with this.” She shares while Levi reads the words on the small paper that made his eyes narrow deeper, and his shoulders stiffen much tighter. Once he finishes reading the note he looks up and urgently addresses the whole room.

“Everyone, out. We leave now.” Levi announces while he stands from his chair. “Leave no trace we were here.”

There was no moment of hesitance after Levi’s announcement, what little you all brought was packed in your personal bags. After that a blood pumping rush ran through everyone as you escaped the cabin to get to higher ground, and deeper into the forest where you could only hope no one was in. With the adrenaline that rushed through your veins you didn’t feel the chilly evening air, nor really catch that you had walked far until everyone stopped on a hill that overlooked the cabin getting raided by military police.

“That was close,” you breathe out while you tear your eyes from the scene down below.

“If we hadn’t left right then, what would’ve happened to us?” Connie asks with his eyes peeled back widely, expressing the shock and slight fear that ran through him.

You glance at Connie to answer his wondering question. “We would’ve been caught, Eren and Historia would’ve been taken and they probably would’ve left us for dead after beating us up.” You’ve seen it happen once when you lived underground, you weren’t supposed to see the Military police beat up a couple of young teens trying to take some food, or whatever it was they had taken, but Furlan, nor Levi managed to pull you away from witnessing the scene in time.

Nonetheless, Connie's head slowly shifts to you with his eyes expressing more horror after your words. His lips part, but all he does is inhale a small breath of air before you turn to check out the small patch of woods in front of you—you couldn’t apologize for your honesty that he hadn’t witnessed before, that he was blind to due to where he grew up. He had to know, those who didn’t know before had to know too. The world was a beautiful place, but life inside the walls also had their own monsters.

“But why?” Armin inquires, “what would make Commander Erwin…?”

“New orders came from the government.” Levi revealed. “There’s been a freeze on all Scout Regiment activity outside the wall. They’re telling us to hand over Eren and Historia.” At Levi’s words, you once again turn your head to look at him over your shoulder, feeling yourself full with buzzing curiosity at the new piece of news that just kept piling on.

“By the way,” Nifa interjected, “right after he gave me the message, the Military Police came for him.”

“They’re treating him like some sort of criminal!” Hange exclaimed bitterly.

“Someone’s not working from the shadows anymore,” Levi continued, “they’re moving for all eyes to see.”

“To go far to protect the wall's secrets.” Hange added while she faced Levi. “What’s more, why do they want us to hand over Eren and Historia? Not to kill, but for them to obtain?”

You clench onto the rifle in your hands and suggest, “Control?” You turn around and continue to add your thoughts out loud. “Whoever is deciding to finally come out and play, is no lowlife scum.”

Levi glances at you and nods, “you’re right. But,” he says as he looks away. “Who knows? Anyways it’s clear the enemy is after these two. Loitering around here is dangerous. We’re moving her and Eren to Trost District.”

“Why?” Moblit protests. “That’s the same place Pastor Nick was killed.”

“It’s worse to head towards the interior. With Trost in a panic, it should be easy to slip in,” Levi says, “and if somehow it comes down to it, we can use these in the city.” He pulls a side of his cloak and looks to his odm gear. “Plus, not knowing the enemy puts us in a tough spot. We need to find out who’s behind this.” he looks to Hange. “Hange, lend me some of your squad.”

“Of course,” they don’t hesitate to answer while they tap their chin and glance down for a brief moment, before once again facing the group. “All right, I’m going after Erwin.” They continue to turn to the man beside them. “Moblit with me. The rest of you will follow Levi.”

“Roger!”

As Hange climbs on their horse, Eren calls to them and hurries after them. “Hange! Here.” He hands them a folded up paper. “I remembered a conversation between Ymir and Bertholdt. Didn’t get to tell you, but it’s here.”

“All right,” Hange says as they grab the note and stuff it in their pocket while they climb onto the horse. “I’ll take a look at it later.”

“Be careful,” you wave at them, making them shoot you a faint smile before they ride off with Moblit. The rest of you being left having to walk through the forest as the sun set further by each passing second.

Levi led the squad, leaving you behind to eye the shadows that lurked in the forest that surrounded you. You wanted to distract yourself by thinking that running from the Military Police, and being seen as some criminal must be nostalgic to Levi since he left the underground to escape that life, but now it seemed it followed him here. Just like it also followed you, something he had wanted to avoid when he thought of making a life above ground. It’s funny how that works.

Regardless, the sun disappeared completely, taking away the security of its bright light and leaving you in a freighenting darkness that lamps couldn’t ease its eerie presence, making you walk closer to one of the people that could bring comfort to this traumatizing situation, Jean. “Why is it that we always have to move in the dark?” You grumble.

Jean glances at you and answers. “Because it’s better to hide in the dark. We aren’t as easily spotted.”

“I know,” you sigh deeply, “it was a rhetorical question.” Your eyes flicker over to him and right as you were going to meet his gaze you look up at the hat on his head, and you can’t help but smile. “I—”

“Don’t laugh,” he grimaces bitterly.

“I wasn’t,” you lift your hands whilst you meet his gaze. “Honestly. I was going to say that I like your hat. I think it looks nice. It gives off, uhmm,” you tap your chin and look ahead. “Cowboy type of vibes, or,” you clap, catching the brief attention of Armin and Eren in front of you, “some sort of a gangster.” You look at Jean again and tilt your head, noticing he seemed to be holding his breath and that his eyes had lost their intimidation. “Maybe that’d work better with a suit though, so cowboy it is.” You grin but he’s quick to look away. “It’s a nice look on you, Jean.”

Unlike Eren, Armin's eyes stayed on Jean and you for a moment longer to study your gestures, and hear the words coming out of your mouths. He could think nothing of it, after all he thought of Jean and you as a weird pair of friends. But he was quick enough to catch Jean’s flustered expression hidden under the hat he had on, and that set off a new curiosity within him that he wanted to further explore.

“Whatever,” Jean brushes you off with his head completely facing away from you, and his expression hidden by his hat.

You scoff lightheartedly and roll your eyes. “It still looks pretty ridiculous at night though.”

“It’s so they don’t recognize me,” Jean snaps.

Your eyebrows furrow and you snort. “Who's going to recognize you out here at night? The shadow man? A ghost? Or maybe a raccoon?”

Jean slowly turns his head to glare at you. “You’re about to become unrecognizable.”

“Oh,” you smirk, “I’d love to see you try.” You look to the front of the group and point to Levi with your eyes. Jean scoffs and leans closer to you to whisper. “Yeah, consider yourself lucky. For now.” He squints his eyes, “but watch your back. Cherry.” He mocks.

Your smirk deepens and you lean in closer to him too, holding his gaze intently and licking your lips as they tug to a smile. “Again. I’d like to see you try. Jean-boy.” Your eyes linger on his for a while, noticing that his lips turned to a smirk as he held his confidence high, not letting show the feelings that he felt fluttering inside. A tension rose between the little gap between you, but you were oblivious to it, unlike him. But he did nothing to point it out and make it clear to you, all he did was watch you blink and look away. After that you proceeded to part away from him and fall at Levi’s side. “Hey, Levi, so how are we planning to sneak into Trost with Eren and Historia? A big group will attract attention, and what if there's some dressed up Military police members in the crowds already expecting us?”

Levi glances at you before he looks at Jean and Armin over his shoulder to simply say, “I have a plan.”

——

“This is so, so stupid.” Jean grumbles beside you.

You shoot him a side glanced glare and nudge his arm. “Shush.” Your eyes return to the streets you’re marching through and they scan every stand open as you pass them, they lift to the roofs and catch the flags that hang from roof to roof sporting bright colors, your eyes search the crowd that is unusually big and clustered, falling from person to person no matter how young or old they are. One just couldn’t be too careful, you needed to look over your shoulder….it needed to become second nature no matter how bad that sounded. You needed to think as if every person that wasn't the Scouts, your friends and family was hostile, even if you hated to think that way of people.

Every person was against you until proven otherwise. Or at least that’s what Levi says in a time and mission like this. But it was so hard to think that way, especially when you saw the hungry and homeless people on the streets asking for food, or money after the destruction created in the city. And it seemed now there were a lot of those around, cities above ground were beginning to look like the underground, it was hard to see their sad and angry faces. So you had to put your hood over your head to avoid searching for those hallowed faces.

“So what, I can’t complain now?” Jean snaps in a sharp whisper. “He does that a lot.”

“Yeah,” you agree, “and it’s annoying. So shut up.”

Jean shoots you a brief glare before he picks up his pace to leave your side. And if it wasn’t for his undercut and his tall figure, from behind his wig would fool you into believing he was the boy he was pretending to be. Not the front though, you could pick him out in a crowd even with the wig on, he….had a very long one of a kind face.

“Try not to walk in a cluster.” Levi repeated to the group, “we’ll stand out. Eren and Historia, just walk normal.”

If he kept talking like that every ten minutes, someone would notice, no matter how far apart you’re all spread out.

“Why is the royal family’s flag hanging everywhere?” Connie asked as his eyes roamed the colorful flags overhead.

“Oh! Today must be the anniversary of the King's coronation.” Sasha answered, making your eyes return to look at the flags over your heads. “Once a year, they hand out a haul of rations.”

A man begins to announce what Sasha had pointed out, but your attention goes to the flower stand you walk by and your eyes get lost on the big, beautiful bright yellow sunflowers decorating the front of the stand. A soft smile tugs on your lips and a gleam sparkles in your eyes. You’re tempted to walk to it and buy some since they were your favorite, but you hold yourself back…as hard that was. It was such a brief moment that you didn’t think anyone would catch you, but someone did, they just didn’t say anything and instead admired your smile as your eyes remained on the yellow petals. When you pass the stand, you pull your eyes off the flowers and notice your group came to a stop, and before you could bump into Connie, you stop in your tracks and listen to what Sasha commented over the man’s announcement.

“What a king! He sure is generous!”

You scoff at her comment and before you could remark something, Levi beats you to it. “He’s got more than he knows what to do with. People are weak, especially when baited with food.”

“I have an idea,” you scoff, “they could take some of those rations underground. There's a lot of people who really need it down there.” You glare at the announcer as if he was the King in charge.

“We’re considered riff raff down there,” Levi replied to your bitter comment. “Or don’t you remember? They didn’t care about us, they still don’t care about them.”

“Yeah,” you huff out after you return your gaze to the path ahead. “I remember.”

The walk after that talk is quiet, uncomfortable and nerve wracking as no one knew when someone was going to attack your group and take Jean and Armin, or should you say, “Eren and Historia.”. Everyone had to keep looking over their shoulders and keep their guard up, only making yourselves more suspicious. Part of you believed you would get away without getting attacked, but you needed to for the plan to work. And it did happen as Levi had planned—“Watch out! Behind us!” Levi bellowed after he stopped and looked over his shoulder.

Before you could look back, you heard the speeding carriage racing your way that he had warned you about. As it sped past you, you jumped out of the way and had to hold back from fighting their attempts as you watched them take “Eren and Historia”. Yet you couldn’t help yourself from screaming out their names. “Je—Eren!” Sasha seemed to have the same trouble as she yelled out for Armin, but soon corrected herself and called out for who they were pretending to be. And even if you were going to save them regardless, the knot in your stomach wouldn’t loosen and you had to fight the urge not to instantly catch up to them. Really just run after Jean.

*A FEW MINUTES LATER*

“Calm down Cherry,” Levi assured you from behind you. “You reek of anxiety. We’re going to save them.”

You gnaw at your cuticles and take a deep breath. “This plan is shit. I can’t stand not knowing what they could be going through.” You lift your eyes and pull your thumb away to stand up as Mikasa joins you on the roof. “So?” You instantly ask her impatiently. “How is it going inside?”

“If we don’t hurry, they’ll see through Armin's disguise.” Mikasa informs Levi and you before looking away from your worried gaze. “And I feel bad for him.” She lowers her head.

Shit—you lift your finger to your lips and begin gnawing once more as you sink down on the roof, hearing Levi respond with a simple, “I see.”

“How is your leg?” Mikasa looks back at him. “Any better?”

You look over your shoulder, seeing Levi peek over his own before grabbing his knee and answering. “I can move well enough. It’s not bad, thanks to the things Cherry made for me.” He looks back at the streets below. “More importantly, these kidnappers…they’re nothing but amateurs. Why would they be using guys like this?” He stands up and takes a step forward, letting your eyes, like Mikasa’s, watch him carefully. “You both can handle the rest on your own. I’m heading for Eren. Once you’ve dealt with the trash, come and meet up with me.” He keeps walking ahead, assuring himself with the short comprehensive answer Mikasa gave him. “One more thing,” he stops at the edge of the roof and looks back. “I’ll tell you, just in case. Tell Armin and others, too. From now our enemy won’t only be Titans,” he pauses and looks away. “But other humans too.”

Your eyes widen and it feels as if all the wind had been knocked out of your lungs. You part your lips to argue, to interject with anything against his comment, but there was nothing you could say, even if you could, Levi left before you could think of anything. After that you tried to look at Mikasa, to see if she was struggling like you were, but she remained expressionless, and cold, or at least that’s what she wanted you to believe. You didn’t know what she was really thinking. She was a lot like Levi in that way.

Nonetheless, there’s a silence that falls over after his comment where you feel your whole body stiffen, and your heart sink to your stomach. Your body grows cold and a grim feeling takes over your anxious state for a brief moment where the silence feels deafening, and the question of “can I really do this?” Begins to linger in your head, making you nauseous. That question was brief before your mind was overridden by instincts that told you that you could and it was the right thing if it came to it, but your conscience told you otherwise. It turns you gloom and makes you stiff as your instinct, and your conscience battled with one another to have a winner.

Neither of them won. Mikasa interrupted you before the battle could be decided. “Let’s go.” She stands up to fly back to the other roof, but stops once you’re behind her to scold you. “And stop eating at your hands. You’ll ruin your cuticles.”

“Right,” you whisper as you pull your hand away and then follow her to the other roof to fall in your assigned position. When you hear the deep voices inside, you peek your head inside the open window, and prepare your fighting stance as you watch the floor and Mikasa down below. In the center of it all, you could see Jean and Armin tied up with their disguises still intact, which was something that should bring you comfort since they hadn’t been discovered, but seeing them in that position made you uneasy.

Regardless, their disguises were beginning to be questioned by the man leading the small group that walked in the storage room. “You’re sure, without a doubt, it’s Krista and Eren?”

“Yes,” another man nods, “they match the description.”

Yeah sure they do. Armin perhaps resembles Historia in some way, but Jean was not even close. They all sucked ass—you think to yourself, scoffing and rolling your eyes before taking a step closer to the window and meeting Mikasa’s dark eyes after they looked up to quietly signal you.

“Huh? Where’s the guard?” With that question uttered, just as Mikasa moves forward, you jump down the window whilst you take your cloak off and let it float down, while you land on the ground and look up at the tall startled man with a cocky smirk. He tries to reach for his gun, but before his fingers could even touch its cold metal, you jump to your feet and roundhouse kick him to the ground, instantly knocking him unconscious after a single impact to his face.

The other two men who had been up front freeze from the shock, and watch Mikasa and you wide eyed out of fear. They try to reach for their guns, but before they could think of shooting, and without a single word uttered between Mikasa and you, you both sprint towards them. She jumps off the floor and you slide down past her body almost as if the moves were rehearsed; she kicks a man with red hair, while you swiftly get up and swing your leg to kick the other man to the floor. He intended to move after, but he couldn’t even catch your fleeting figure before you pin him to the ground and twist his arm to his back, causing him to groan.

A faint proud smirk tugs on your lips once the thought of what you did registers in your mind, but it’s fleeting before you grow serious again. Instead of thinking too much into what you did, you look back, noticing Jean and Armin were tying up the other two men, leaving you to look up to a window on the roof to address the boy you knew was waiting by it. “Connie! Is it really just the four of them?!”

Said boy pokes his head through the window and confirms your question. “Yeah, that’s it! Nobody else in the area!” Connie finishes, keeping your eyes on him and not letting you pay attention to the man reaching for the gun he had dropped. Not until you heard the whiz of Sashas arrow impact the ground just inches away from your hand, and pinning the gun to the ground before he could try to shoot you. The crash made your head snap to the arrow, and made your eyes widened out of shock.

“If you move again, who knows where I’ll hit?” Sasha threatened the man whilst your heart pounded in your ears.

“H-hey!” Jean began to exclaim in an angry tone. “What if you hit Y/N with that!”

“It’s Y/N’s fault for taking her eye off the prey.” Sasha countered.

You nod and look back to the man under you. “Yeah, no, you’re right,” you interject. “Sorry! I should’ve known better!” You stand up and pull the guy up with you.

“All right!” Mikasa yelled out, “first, we tie these guys up, then we meet up with the captain.”

Armin looks at her and questions her command. “What do you mean?”

“Captain's orders, and he sends a message, too.” She shares with your friends what Levi had told the both of you, and they react in the same speechless disbelief as you. This time though, you fought with yourself not to think about it further. Instead you focus on tying up the man in your hold, before you place him with others in a deafening silence that had set in the storage room.

That was until you were done and spotted Jean with the wig still on his head behind you—“Eren,” you say seriously. “Are you okay?” You stifle a laugh.

“Huh?!” Jean exclaims. “What did you just call me?!”

You turn with your eyebrows furrowed in concern to continue with your act as seriously as you can manage. Which was going surprisingly well. “Oh, it’s you Jean. I forgot, you know with the wig,” you point, “you fooled me.” You shrug. “Sorry.”

His eyes narrow to a piercing glare and a venom laces in his voice. “You’re not funny, you know that?” He snatches the wig off his head and throws it to the ground, before he turns sharply on his heels to storm past you and leave the storage room with his chest puffed out in anger. His reaction makes you giggle and you have to run to catch up to him.

“Jean, come on, I was only joking. Just trying to ease the tension.” You smirk and try to meet his burning glare.

Jean scoffs. “Yeah, just be quiet, I'm not talking to you.”

You snicker and grab his arm, making him go instantly stiff. “Come on, don't be a jackass. I was joking. Of course I knew it was you.” You scoff. “I mean anyone with eyes would know you’re not Eren, even with the wig on.” You look away from him to look at the upcoming large doors, whilst you begin to list what comes to mind. “I mean, you’re much taller, your eyes are brown and his eyes are green, you're more muscular than he is. You’re—” you suddnely cut yourself off and feel your cheeks burn hot after you catch what you had been saying.

You glance at him nervously and pull your hands from his arm, missing the smirk on his lips that had swept away any anger he had felt. “Yeah,” you nod and swallow thickly and pretend not to be affected by the tension you felt fall over you as you look away. “It was obvious.” You clear your throat and begin to fiddle with your fingers as you change the subject. “Anyway.” Your eyes flicker up to steal a glance at him. “How are you feeling over what Levi said? I mean, I know I was just joking around, but I’m being serious now.” You throw the doors open and you both walk out the storage room with Sasha, and Connie in tow.

Jean exhales deeply and pulls his eyes away from you to look ahead at Armin and Mikasa. “I don’t know. For the first time, I really don’t know how to feel yet. I mean,” he pauses, and unfolds his arms to clench his fists at his sides and furrow his eyebrows to glare at the dirt ground. “They’re people…that’s not what I signed up for.”

“Yeah,” you sigh and drop your hands to your sides. “I understand.” You lift your eyes to the sky, managing to catch two brown birds flying past your head. “We signed up to save humanity. Not to fight them. I don’t know what to feel either. I wish I could. I wish I could talk…” you pause, and return your eyes to look ahead and watch Mikasa use her ODM gear to fly to a roof that overlooks the street. You follow Armin and her, and don’t finish what you had thought of saying. Was it obvious that you dropped your comment so abruptly? Yes. But you couldn’t finish it. “I understand.” You end up saying. Your eyes flicker to Jean and you offer him a faint assuring smile.

Albeit Jean didn’t miss what you said. He didn’t return your assuring smile, or nod to say he understood, he stopped you after you walked past him on the roof. “Wait. Talk to who?”

You instinctively want to reach for your wings of freedom patch, but stop when you remember that you weren’t wearing your uniform. It saddened you, especially because even if he was gone, his patch brought solace to your aching heart—“We’ll talk about that later, yeah?” You brush Jean off. “Just don’t give up on us, okay?” You peek over your shoulder and meet his eyes filled with confusion.

Jean answers with silence; no nod, no verbal answer as short as it could’ve been. Nothing but silence as he tried to understand the thoughts running through his head. He was assured that you at least understood his struggle of morals…he knew everyone else did too, but he was assured more with the fact that you did.

——

“Gunshots!” You heard Sasha warn. After you hear her, you look to the roof she landed on with Connie and Armin, and follow where her finger pointed to. “I heard a bunch of shots!”

“You two think something happened?” Jean asks Mikasa and you beside him, while the three of you watch the streets ahead.

“Most likely,” Mikasa answers much more bluntly, before she runs forward to jump off the roof before either of you could protest against her quick actions. It causes Jean, and you to share a quick look that spoke hundreds of words neither of you spoke aloud before he, you, and others followed the sounds of gunshots alongside Mikasa.

Finding the commotion didn’t take long as you flew the sky, Connie was quick to spot Eren and Historia, passed out in their newly styled carriage. Following after them, you spotted Levi—“it’s Levi!” You point out with short lived relief, because after you spotted him, and you and everyone else began to change courses to follow him, some thug flew past and shot at Levi. The thug of course missed, letting Levi pierce his grapple hook in the man’s chest to pull him forward, so he could also fly forward to swiftly slice the man’s stomach.

You were left speechless, stunned, and wide eyed after witnessing the bloody scene, but you kept yourself focused on the chaos you were now in the middle of. You had to.

“Chase the wagon!” Levi instructed the squad once you all got close enough. Albeit, Mikasa is the only one who answered right away—“listen up!” Levi continues after Mikasa. “They’re used to fighting other people! They already got three of ours. If we’re gonna get those two back, you can't hesitate! If you get the chance, you kill! Got it?”

“Roger!” Mikasa answered with inspiring determination.

Yet you couldn’t muster the will to answer like she did. You knew what you had to do, what the right thing was to avoid being shot, but you couldn’t wrap your head around killing other people. Mikasa seemed to be so okay with it, she didn’t hesitate to agree and do what needs to be done. And you admired that, envied her ability to not let her conscience get in the way when it came down to it. It would be easy if you were like that too.

“Armin, Jean! Secure the wagon! We’ll cover you!” Levi’s instruction pulled you from your train of thought, causing your eyes to slide over to watch Armin do as he was told, while Jean hesitated for a few seconds, eventually following orders, but just hesitating after witnessing another person being killed. And even if your stomach churned with the speeding thoughts of potentially having to kill someone, you kept flying forward with your blades slightly trembling in your hands, and your eyes bouncing from the carriage and your surroundings. And in that last moment your eyes fell on the carriage, you caught Jean on the floor and a woman pointing her gun at him as he sat paralyzed with fear and hesitation.

Instinct hit you then, like lightning striking the earth. There was no hesitation, your instinct shot straight through the battle of moral debate. Your eyes determinedly set on the pair, as your mind hit you with the possible outcome of what could happen to Jean paralyzed on the floor. And those thoughts didn’t let you fret to speed forward. “Jean!” Fear and panic laced in your voice, just like they vividly expressed in your face. Mikasa seemed to have the same thought in trying to save Jean, since you caught her also swooping down below. But just before either of you could swing your blades, you both heard a shot that made you both gasp and fly past the carriage.

The loud explosion that came from the gun made your heart stop, and your breath catch in your throat. You turned in the sky to face the scene, but you averted your gaze to avoid looking at the carriage where Jean had been. You didn’t want to look out of fear of what you'd see, you let the sound of the wind howling in your ears sound over your cracking heart. You wanted to turn away and avoid looking, avoid potential heartbreak in seeing yet another of one of your friends dead, but you forced yourself to look so you could witness the outcome.

Luckily heartbreak didn’t come this time though. Armin had been the one that shot first. It left Mikasa, you, and even Armin stunned for a few seconds, more so it left Jean alive and in disbelief. Not like you could rejoice over that fact because three thugs then flew overhead with their guns trained on the two in the carriage. They flew in fast and determined, having Levi get Jean out of the way, whilst Sasha picked up Armin just in time before the thugs could shoot aimlessly and manage to hijack the carriage.

However, determined to not let Eren leave, Mikasa began to follow them. Or at least tried with all her might, because after more thugs began to follow the carriage out of the city, Levi stopped her. “Don’t do it! Fall back!”

“But,” you protested as your legs twitched to move. “We can’t let them take Eren and Historia.”

Levi continued to struggle to fight Mikasa’s attempts to follow after Eren, as fear and panic had struck her heart like it had happened with you only mere moments ago. But unlike you, she couldn’t find instant relief in seeing he was okay, or getting him back to her, she had to stay with those emotions aching her heart, only being able to express them out in a loud cry. “Eren!”

It was a cry that made your feet move forward to try and chase after them. Albeit you also got stopped. “Y/N.” Levi called to you too. “Stop. We have to let them go.”

——

“…it’s okay now. That guy is tied up, and after today you don’t have to worry about him anymore.” Jean’s voice sounded through the echoing silence in the storage room. He had been talking to Armin for some time now; in a soft and low voice that you were surprised you could hear. While Armin had tears welled up in his eyes and his words barely came out in soft chokes. You didn’t exactly know word by word what they were sharing to each other, but you knew the context of their conversation, and it involved something a sick guy that had been guarding him and Jean had done to Armin.

It was upsetting to hear Armin so upset and affected by what happened, it made you want to help comfort him, but with your mind in shambles over the news you were all told, you weren’t a good person to talk to at the moment. You couldn’t provide what he needed, but it seemed Jean was patient, and sweet enough to try and comfort Armin. He was the only one.

“I’m sorry it happened, Armin. I am.” Jean continued. “He’s not going to do anything anymore, and I promise he’ll pay for what he did, for what he said to you.”

At the sound of Jean’s words you look away from the plate in your hands and look up at him to steal a brief glance. Noticing his softened, and worried gaze by the bright yellow light of the lamp sitting in the middle of the group, and seeing his hand gently grabbing Armin’s shoulder. And you didn’t know why, but you caught yourself smiling softly at the sweet interaction. Yes, you’ve seen him act kind before, he may act tough, but if you pressed the right buttons he could be soft, but seeing that now made your heart flutter.

The feeling was sudden, but you did feel it, and it was…weird? Yeah….Weird, but also not unwelcomed or wrong. Just weird because you felt it happen with Jean.

Moreover, while you struggled to understand what you had felt, you were caught off guard and got caught looking as Jean’s eyes flickered over to you. You of course proceeded to look away as fast as humanly possible, and instead foolishly looked down at the food in your bowl in hopes he wouldn’t notice. But you werent blind, or dumb, he obviously met your eyes for that quick second before you could look away—fucking embarrassing that’s what that is.

“Are you going to eat? Or are you going to watch your food get cold?” Levi startled you.

“No.” You snap your eyes up to meet his gaze.

“No, what?” He deadpanned.

You shake your head. “No. I’ll eat.” You return your gaze to your food and scoop some up, but just before you could bring the spoon up to your mouth, you drop a hold of the wooden spoon and once again meet Levi’s gaze to ask him a serious question. “Levi, is it,” you pause and sigh, dropping your eyes to your bowl once more. “…is it right to kill people? I mean we’re supposed to save humanity, not kill them. So is what we’re doing, right?”

Even if you were willing to…kill someone in order to save Jean, in that moment your mind and your body were fueled by this instinct. It was only because at that time your mind wasn’t a clustered mess filled with overthinking, guilt and hesitation, your mind was abundantly clear with what you needed to do. But now that you were sitting, the confusing mess in your head returned and doubled in size. You just wanted to clear your mind again, but in a different way with actual answers to assure yourself with. Even if those questions made Levi have to think of a clear answer.

He exhaled deeply and tried to answer your heavy question, but how could he give you a clear answer when he didn’t even know? He could lie and say it was so you wouldn't hesitate and end up the one dead, but he couldn’t lie to you, or any of his squad members. He promised you the truth ever since you were a little girl, he’s lived to that promise even when things got too difficult for you to comprehend. But he’s always had the truth even if he did sometimes avoid saying it. The only difference now was that he didn’t know what that truth was. There was nothing to avoid, there was just a disappointing answer he could give you.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, and heard you exhale deeply with discontent. He wished he had the answer, but he didn’t.

You nod. “Okay.” You then sit in silence while you eat your food, not paying attention anymore to what happened around you until Levi broke the deafening silence moments later.

“What’s wrong? This grimy place kill your appetite?” Levi directed at Armin.

“No.” Said boy shook his head. “Jean, there’s something I don’t understand.”

Jean lifts his head and queries. “What’s that?”

“When I shot that gun to save you. I honestly thought I didn't make it in time.” Armin shared, “sorry, but why was I the one who shot first?”

You lift your head and lift your eyes to look at Jean, seeing him lower his head, and squeeze his eyes shut as his breath trembled while he remembered what happened. “That’s…”

“Because the other person hesitated,” Levi interjected. “It’s true.”

Jean’s eyes flew open and widened from the disbelief he felt at the sound of Levi’s words. He was quick to lose the surprise and instead grow serious. Even if you caught the falter in his voice. “Armin, I’m sorry…I should’ve done what I had to do.”

“I know what it is,” Armin spoke glumly. “The person that I killed…I bet they were a nice person. Someone that was much more human than I am. I pulled the trigger so easily…I did…I’m—”

“Armin,” Levi cut him off. “You’ve got blood on your hands now. You can’t go back to who you were.”

“Why would you say that?” Mikasa remarked.

“Embrace the new you.” Levi continued, “just think, if your hands were still clean…Jean wouldn't be here right now.” He paused for a moment to let silence fill the space so Armin and everyone else would understand his words. “I’ll tell you why you pulled the trigger…Because your comrade was about to die. Armin. Thanks to you getting blood on your hands, nobody on our squad ended up dead. Thank you.”

“Captain Levi.” Jean chimes in after, his eyes facing the light before him and his eyebrows furrowing and losing the uneasiness that were expressed in his face before. “I thought it was wrong to be fighting other humans. And wrong for you to order us to do it. I was afraid to be hurting other people. But…I’m the one who was wrong. Next time. I’ll shoot.”

“I never said anything about who was right, or wrong.” Levi countered, making your eyes drift over to him. “I don’t even know myself. Are you really the one in the wrong?” Levi briefly met Jean’s gaze that proceeded to widen right as he let out a shocked gasp. Neither of them said anything else on the matter, Levi left it at that before he stood up. “Now then, it’s about time we hear what he has to say.” Levi refers to the man you had taken down earlier today, a man you caught now, was Dimo Reeves.

Albeit before you could listen to the rest of the interrogation, Sasha returned inside and tapped your shoulder to gain your attention, “your turn. It should be quiet since the sun is setting.”

“Right.” You sigh and turn to head out. “I saved you some soup I made.” You point to the shitty dented pot on a box. “Eat up.”

Sasha grinned and then sped off past you to do as you said without an ounce of hesitation, letting you proceed to walk off outside and take your guarding post in silence.

Even if you knew time in this place was going to come to an end soon, Levi didn’t want to take any risks and be suddenly attacked, so he assigned a guardwatch outside the storage doors. And honestly even if you were out alone, whilst the sun left and the darkness of the night came, you didn’t mind being outside, it left you with time to think.

What's wrong?—you look up to the beautiful, fierce orange and yellow painted sky, and lean your head back on the brick wall—what’s right? I wish there was a clear answer, or at least something besides “I don’t know.”—It’s not as simple as what you wanted, but it would be something you could wrap your head around and understand.

It would be something.

You exhale deeply and drop your head to look at the dirt ground below your feet. Finding solace in the silence under the evening sky, until your peaceful silence was broken by a sudden long, and sharp whistle that sounded from an alleyway across from you.

“Hey, look at you.” A husky voice then broke through, causing you to snap your head up and look at the alley way. Spotting no one. Yet. “You’ve grown, baby Uri.”

Your eyes narrow on a figure that formed now that it was closer, and your hands wrapped around your hilts. “Now, now.” The voice scoffs. “Has that runt of yours not told you not to bring blades to a gunfight?”A bright gleam shines in the alleyway after the light of a nearby lamp hits the shotguns in the person's hands.

Under the light, you could also distinguish the figure stopping just at the end of the alleyway. You recognized that it was a tall, slim, intimidating old man with a hat on his long hair, and his eyes focused on you while his lips turned to a smirk. You intended to step back, but he pointed his gun at you before you could think of running to get Levi.

“Go in, or shout and I’ll tell my comrades to jump in and kill everyone inside. Be a good girl and stay quiet.” The man threatened.

Instead of showing fear; something you deeply felt in your bones at the moment, you instead narrow your gaze to a glare and lower your voice to a cold, intimidating tone. “Who the fuck are you?”

The man stepped forward and snickered, shaking his head and the shotgun in his hand. “Tsk. Now is that any way to talk to your papa?”

Your attempts at being intimidating, cold and unbothered dropped as everything went completely still and quiet. All except for the sound of your in disbelief grumble. “What?”

.

.

.

Tagged- @expectoscamander @greenygreenland @that-soft-lesbian-friend @dai-tsukki-desu @usernamehere91 @avocadopoosae @romancried @victor-criss-bish @moo-moo-meadow

[couldyouspeakmyname]

Shishigumi and the reader who has adopted children

You know I'm a sucker for blended families

-Maeve

Ibuki

Already is kind of a dad to the rest of the Shishigumi and Louis

While Ibuki is initially really nervous about adopting a child, as soon as they hold them, all his fears melt away.

If they’re an older child, he’ll let them call him by his name if that’s more comfortable. He doesn’t have to be called “dad” to be a parental figure. 

Ibuki is very supportive of his child, and has a lot of patience. 

Ibuki may actually be prone to adopting a child out of the baby stage. He may even adopt an older child who just needs a home (even if they’re almost of legal age to live on their own).

Ibuki would be great with troubled kids. He has the patience of a saint, and has seen a lot of bad in the world, and been a lot of that bad.

Ibuki allows the child to adjust at their own pace, and never pushes them to fit or meet a standard,

Ibuki cooks for them, and listens when they talk. 

Ibuki wants them to be comfortable, always. 

He enrolls them in the best school he can, and goes to every major event. 

He allows them to style their own room, even if he doesn’t always understand what they like. 

He’s adamant that at least three nights a week you all have a family dinner. 

He tries his best to help with homework or any problems they may have. 

Free

Free is freaked out at the idea of adopting a kid. It probably takes a few years for him to be comfortable with the idea.

Honestly? He’s just worried he’s going to be a terrible father. He’s already kind of a menace, he’s not even sure why you’re still with him.

Then again, Louis turned out great and Free likes to think he had a hand in that. 

After some time he finally comes around to the idea. Why not? He can do this. 

When Free and you adopt a child, it’s probably going to be an infant or a younger child. 

It only takes a few hours before Free is a doting father figure, and labels your new child as ‘His’.

Free loves playing games with his kid. If they’re a toddler when you two adopt them, he’s probably going to go crazy at the toy store with them (who needs ten nerf guns?). Free had it rough growing up, he wants his kid to have the childhood he didn’t get to have.

Free isn’t great at homework, but he tries.

Free teaches them self defense early on, just to make sure they can protect themselves when he isn’t around

That dad that plays any game his kid comes up with, and makes forts out of blankets and pillows. 

Dolph

Dolph is actually on board with the idea of adoption

I could see Dolph adopting an older kid, maybe even a pre-teen or teenager. They’re more difficult than a younger child, but Dolph is okay with that. He’s patient, and knows how wild kids can be. He was in a gang, there’s not much trouble a kid could cause that would come anywhere near the trouble he dealt with in the gang

Dolph is big on education, keeping his child in school and having them graduate is important. 

Dolph is calm and collected, and he listens and gives advice where it’s needed.

If he did adopt an older kid, he’s okay with working with a phycologist. Sometimes you just have to talk without worrying about getting in trouble.

Dolph wants his kid to always feel safe and secure. They will always have a room and a place to come home to. 

If they’re worried about someone taking their stuff, Dolph will install a lock on their door. This way they can lock the door and have peace of mind. It is their room. Dolph isn’t going to take things from them.

Same thing with food. If they’re more comfortable keeping snacks and need a mini fridge so they know they wont go hungry, he’ll do what he has to to make them feel secure 

Helps with homework and attends school events. 

 Doesn’t hold his kid to unfairly high standards. If they get a ‘C’, he’s fine with that, as long as they gave it their all.

He’s strict, and has rules. Don’t be out late, don’t do drugs, have dinner with the parents at least twice a week, homework before video games. It’s basic rules, but he’s ridged about them. In a way, that gives his child structure. 

They don’t have to call him dad, but if they do it makes him all emotional

Makes them ask you before they do something

“Dad can I-” 

“Go ask Y/N”

Agata

Agata would probably do best adopting a small child or a baby

He has a lot of anxiety, and he’d do better parenting a kid from the beginning 

Agata raises his child with his whole heart. It doesn’t matter that they were adopted, there’s no question that Agata would die for his child. 

Agata puts the needs of his child above his own, without question. 

Agata is honest when his kid asks if he’s adopted. Agata isn’t going to hide that from them. He will answer any questions they have, and let them know that you don’t have to be blood related to love someone

Agata is that ‘cool’ dad that plays video games with his kid. Agata lets them win.

Agata also beats any levels they get stuck on. 

Agata doesn’t like the PTA, but will go to all school events, and is there for all milestones

Agata tries his best to make sure his child is confident in themselves, and knows that Agata will always be there to back them up

Agata is kind of a softie, you’re going to have to be the rule enforcer

Not to say Agata can’t get strict, he can, but he doesn’t want to

Agata will always make sure his child knows their home is a safe place to go to

If his child ever wants to know their biological parents, Agata will help them. 

Miguel

Age doesn’t matter for Miguel. He’s willing to take any kid that needs him, and is a good fit for you two

He quickly establishes a healthy lifestyle. He wants them to live a long time, and fuel their body properly 

Cooking may actually be how he bonds with them initially, if they’re older. If they’re really little, he’ll bake cookies with them

Miguel is at all school events, and may even be part of the PTA

Miguel may be pretty quiet, but he’s not one to hold back praise when a child does something good. He’s big on positive reinforcement

Rarely raises his voice. Instead, he talks everything out.

He’s very patient, and quickly learns his adopted child’s personality, and adjusts accordingly

That big beefy dad that’s having tea/playing pretend with his child

He can and will switch his child out of a class if a teacher is unfair. A lot of adopted children may have a hard time adjusting, and not all teachers know how to handle that. If they can’t, Miguel will find someone who does. 

Miguel is going to be overprotective of his child. He chose to adopt his child, and it’s his job as a father to make sure his child thrives. He’s not going to allow anyone to drag his kid down the path Miguel himself once walked.

Miguel is that dad that doesn’t talk a lot, but you can talk about anything with. It doesn’t matter what it is, he’s going to listen. 

Sabu

Sabu doesn’t care about age when he adopts a kid. He would be prone to adopting a child that’s mute or deaf, or a child with another disability. 

I have a headcanon that Sabu doesn’t talk much, but knows sign language.  

He’s also very quiet and patient,  and not much phases him. He’s also very flexible, and is willing to make big changes if that’s what his child needs

Sabu is also very involved with schooling, even if most of the staff find him unnerving. It doesn’t take long for them to warm up to him though. Sabu has a good heart, even if he makes a bad first impression. 

Sabu helps with homework, and is fine with taking breaks and coming back if his child becomes frustrated. 

He will totally get a side car for his motorcycle 

If the kid he adopts doesn’t know sign language, Sabu teaches them.

Sabu loves for his child to be passionate about their hobbies. 

Sabu likes it when his child expresses themselves, even if it’s not always traditionally.

If Sabu has a kid, and they want to do his mane, he’ll let them. He doesn’t even mind going out in public with it if his child is particularly proud of it.

Never is afraid of telling his child he loves them, or that he’s proud of them.

Jinma

Jinma would do better adopting a child that was a smidge older.

He does a lot of research before adoption, and tries to find information on what to do, what you two need, and problems that may come up

If they are older, Jinma is going to get them a psychologist if they need one. If they’ve been in the system for a while, they may need a third party to talk to

Jinma is also going to make sure his child has no siblings out there. If they do, he’s going to do his best to reunite them. If they’re not adopted yet, expect Jinma to try and adopt them as well.

Jinma is big on school, so he tries to learn what kind of schooling works best for his child. Are they a tactile learner? A reader? Once he knows, he works in that learning preference for homework. 

Jinma is great at communicating with his adopted child, even if they aren’t a great talker. 

Jinma doesn’t need his child to call him dad, but if they do, he’ll be thrilled.

Dope

Dope could adopt any age of child and be happy

Dope is great at reading body language, so it’s easy for him to understand what is child is saying, even if they don’t want to talk initially. 

Dope is also very big on schooling, but he tries to find a school his child is comfortable with.

If his child was close with their foster parents, Dope is fine keeping them in their lives if they’re also okay with it. 

Dope reads to his kid every night. He will also never say ‘no’ if they want books from a store (but they have to be paperback)

Dope is the dad who will le their kid crawl into bed if they have a bad dream. He also gets up so you can sleep. 

Dope finds the best way to communicate with his kid, and loves spending time with them. 

Dope is what teachers fear. Parent teach night involves Dope trying to figure out lesson plans, accuracies in education, and making sure his child is set up to succeed. He’s both a pain in the ass for the teacher, and a blessing, since he will always be there if they need chaperones or any other volunteers. 

Hino

Hino would rather adopt a child that’s younger, but they don’t have to be a baby (he’s fine if they are though)

Hino puts all his love into his child. It doesn’t matter that they’re adopted, they’re his

Hino loves styling his child, but is fine when they pick out their own outfits (even if it hurts his inner fashionista)

Loves doing family activities with all of you together

If they have a nightmare, and need dad to be there, he’s going to fall asleep in their room

That dad that has waaayyyy too many pictures of his child. He screensaver is you and your child.

Hino is always there for any event, but avoids the PTA. 

That being said, he will volunteer for events, and weaponize his good looks. 

Builds up his child’s self-esteem. No matter what species they are, they’re beautiful. Not only that, but they’re smart and capable. Hino wants them to know there’s so much more besides looks. 

[kankuroplease]

Can you tell us more about Katsura and her relationships with Shino? :)

Well this came out longer than expected BUT it is sectioned (not proof read, so oops). Hope you enjoy 🖤

About Katsura

For starters, she’s very aware that she’ll never be this great kunoichi. She’s not from a major clan that has special techniques, her chakra is barely above average, and her size is a disadvantage.

So to compensate for what she sees as short comings; She trains, studies, and tries to keep up with her teammates/not be a burden.

Will train with her sister even past her team training exercises.

Katsura is very logical about things. There’s always a logical explanation or way of handling things.

Loves writing and will carry a notebook to write in wherever she may go.

She also enjoys dressing up just because on her off days.

Doesn’t want anyone to look at her though. It’s annoying and uncomfortable to her when people she doesn’t know pay her too much attention.

She isn’t proud of it, but she has played dumb and showed some skin to get information on missions. It’s amazing how idiotic some people are over cleavage 💀

Very envious of civilians with soft hands and has definitely invested in creams to try and help with her callouses

She has been helping at her grandparents bakery from time to time for as long as she can remember.

Its one of the reason she bakes so much. She doesn’t want to get rusty~ the other is it seems to make her friends happy.

Never had a crush before Shino and just assumed she wasn’t capable of feeling like that. Genuinely curious how people can just develop crushes on people they don’t really know.

Gets really excited when one of the beetles she raises does well/finds a mate. Like she is so proud of her beetle-companion.

Also gets very upset if it gets flung off a branch by its competitor or mate. She will pout and try to soothe said beetle-companion.

Beyond ticklish. Tries to hide it but even the slightest playful touch of her neck will have her laughing and snorting.

Touch starved, honestly. Will never admit it but she loves hugs. They make her feel warm and fuzzy.

She doesn’t remember her mother at all because she was so young when she passed away, but she still will visit her grave to ask her to watch over her father. He’s getting old and he’s still a recluse.

Absolute morning person and likely to want to crash before 8 pm if she’s not on a mission

Poisonous~ no but fr, she’s crafted her own poison to coat her sword in

Her sword is her baby. Custom made just for her by her father. No one is allowed to handle it for the previous reason.

How It Started

When she met Shino, it was simply by chance. Her dad told she was small but strong like a beetle.

And unfortunately, the beetle he compared her too got away before she could observe it and collect information on it properly.

So she went searching for her escaped beetle and ran into Shino.

Who told her he had no seen that bug but told her where can probably find one.

She was highly insulted but her father raised her not to let her emotions take control of her actions

So she let it go (sort of) and followed his advice. Which did lead her to her first pet beetle

After that, she made a point of saying hi or waving to Shino whenever she’d see him around for helping her out.

And they built a friendship over the years and all was fine with the world. They’d go bug hunting and Shino became someone she really respected and enjoyed talking to.

She could listen to him talk about insects all day because he sort of lights up and his knowledge was pretty impressive

And his voice is nice too~

Also, she really liked his dad too. He was so kind and even accepted cookies she had baked for Shino before realizing he was on a mission.

She totally loves Shinos bugs (before she realized she loved Shino)! even asked their names. Not that she would remember all of them or even recognize one from the other, she was just very curious about these special little guys.

It took the coming of war for her to realize just how much Shino actually meant to her.

And she didn’t expect to survive the war either. So she put all her feelings in an origami beetle that she gave to Shino.

It wasn’t like anyone unfolds them anyways, so it’s safe.

But by some miracle, they both survive.

Now she’s blushing heavily whenever he’s around because ‘oh no’, yes she’s always been aware his conventionally good looking but this feeling keeps growing and now his looks are a burden on her heart and mind

She was honestly pretty embarrassed about that origami beetle he still has sitting a little too close to light for her comfort.

All it would take is for him to look at it in the light to see her confession and she’s not even supposed to be alive to face this possibility.

Tried asking her father what he liked about her mother and none of that matched her (soft figure and extroverted bubbly personality) and Aori gave her ‘the talk’ while completely red faced.

And once she told her teammates, they basically told her to stop being a chicken and just tell him how she feels.

now Katsura does find that just telling him would be the most logical thing to do… but it’s easier said than done.

What if he doesn’t feel the same? Can they still be friends?

Shino pricked up on her not so subtle changes in behavior and wasn’t sure what to make of it.

She’s standing closer, stealing glances when she thinks he’s not looking, jumping a bit when he’d call her name, blushing and losing train of thought whenever their hands accidentally brush, etc.

He’s almost certain he knows what all this means, but maybe it’s just wishful thinking?

Katsura has always smiled easily for him and never seemed to forget him no matter how long it took for them to see each other again.

Maybe it was the way she always was so proud to show him her latest beetle she nurtured from larval or how she seriously always told his beetles to take care of him for her before any missions no matter how small.

Perhaps it was the fact that she always told him she thought he was amazing

Maybe it was the way they both could comfortably enjoy each other’s company without words

Or maybe the way she fussed over the children’s novel she was writing.

The way she always made sure other acknowledged him in group settings by mentioning him or asking him questions.

Her snorting laugh that she’s so embarrassed about had grown on him too. Also made it easy to find her

But at some point he’d developed a crush of his own, so it would be great if she felt the same.

It’s not until Kiba discovers the origami beetle and ask who gave him the love letter

Shino’s like… love letter?

Kiba holding it up to the light so Shino can faintly see the writing in it.

Kiba guesses it’s probably from that mean little thing that always seems to be around Shino these days. In fact, he’s pretty sure it’s her because of the faint scent still on it.

Shino looks calm on the surface but inside, Shino.exe has stopped working. Some quite a few bugs are escaping and kiba is cackling because he f**kin’ KNEW IT!!

Now they’re both acting strangely with each other trying to figure out their timing but what better timing than during one of their forest walks?

Shino waits until they’re absolutely alone (None of his bugs spotted Katsura’s nosy teammates) and Katsura is distracted by if her beetle is ready to find a mate/leave home.

She’s humming to herself that this one doesn’t seem to want to leave when Shino murmurs he can’t blame the little guy. He wouldn’t want to leave her side either.

Queue Katsura turning red and telling him not to joke like that, because she might get the wrong idea.

He tilted his head before asking her why would joke about that? He likes her, and the rest was a blur as her heart was beating too loud to hear everything he said outside of the end of his confession.

Of course she said yes too loudly and then asked him to repeat what he said because she wants to know remember his words forever 🥰

Them as a couple

Once they become official, nothing much changes honestly

They still go on bug hunts and walks in the forest, but will to hold hands while doing these things now.

Shino isn’t into too much PDA of course, but he doesn’t mind her cuddling up to him in private. In fact he welcomes it.

Katsura is the first one to say ‘I love you’ and she’s not shy about saying it.

Will leave him notes to read each day if either one of them has a particularly long mission. (they are numbered and yes she expects him to wait and read them)

He’s also been the subject of several questionable dishes because baking is her thing, not cooking. She is very sorry, Shino.

They both decided she should to stick to cookbooks for awhile after the last random dish

Garden picnics are something they both enjoy whenever their schedules allow and Katsura actually knows how to prepare foods for such an occasion

Shino will have a few more butterflies than normal join them because he knows it will make her smile.

Took them awhile to share a passionate kiss because, they’re both patient types and were waiting on the other to take the lead

But once they did and she heard his beetles buzzing— and he sighed against her lips that was it, she practically jumped on top of him and then apologized profusely later

Shino knows she’s capable, but will still get things down from higher shelves for her.

Katsura loves tracing shapes in Shino’s palms and can/will fall asleep holding his hand. His hands are always so warm and calming to her

She knitted them matching sweaters for winter because she really liked the idea. They didn’t turn out perfect but Shino wore his anyways and made her whole day!

Shino was very supportive of Katsura retiring to take a bigger role at her grandparents bakery and pursue writing. It’s something she always enjoyed and he’s ngl, the thought of them having more time together made him happy.

Katsura was also very supportive of Shino becoming a sensei! What a cute job and she could get intel of what kids may be interested

Both of them would still rather eat at home but will go with their friends. Katsura is more likely to convince Shino it’s good to socialize every once in awhile… although if he wants her to be more selfish with him, she will gladly do so~

Overall just a really sweet couple that’s over the moon about each other 🖤

[shoichee]

okok hc or fic: reader was teiko’s “head” manager(?) and her talent was being a medic (if someone gets injured they’re back on the court in under a minute type thing) and training plans. suddenly momoi’s talent blooms, she starts working w/ everyone in the team (+ reader’s crush akashi) and people think she’s a better manager than reader. because of this, she overworks + collapses in front of her best friends kuroko + kise (don’t let akashi know yet i have plans for that 👀)

HELLO? YES OFFICER? I JUST FOUND A BANGER REQUEST RIGHT HERE? YOUR BRAIN IS SO BIG AND SEXY IVE BEEN DYING TO WRITE THIS🏃🏻‍♀️💨 part 2 here and part 3 here AND update: part 4 here

Akashi x Reader

[Teiko!manager Headcanons]

you had a knack of being a natural chiropractor in loosening up tense muscles instantly (for more fluid play) or easily putting in back dislocated joints

basically you have crackhands

in your free time as a hobby and a job as the “head manager” (that Akashi announced to the team himself), you’d often bury yourself in anatomy studies and gym plans on the internet and databases to review over Akashi’s team training routines to see if they were effective and safe; oftentimes, you’d return back with improved plans, and as time went on, Akashi entrusted you with creating the plans yourself completely

you took on the job so eagerly to impress the Teiko captain, if you were being honest to yourself

your enthusiasm even inspires Momoi, Teiko’s other manager, to work harder

no one in Teiko knows physiology better than you, and as expected, it was also your best subject along with health

Kise often looks at you in horror and respect at how you don’t cringe/flinch at the loud cracks resonating across the room or court when players come to you for instant relief (the origin story of how he came to call you (y/n)-cchi was the very fact that you manage to put back his dislocated shoulder in 3 seconds flat one game)

when Kuroko first joined the 1st-string, he was a walking magnet for injuries, and you ended up being there for him every single time… nosebleeds? check. sprained ankle? check. nausea from over exhaustion? check.

both you and Kuroko relish in the fact that everyone in the team can never understand how the both of you do some incredible things with your hands

both of you being quite dexterous, you both often teach each other your specialties for fun; it’s almost shocking to see Kuroko effortlessly loosening up a stress knot and you pulling off a well-done palm pass

you admit, you do juggle a lot of responsibilities… from being a makeshift nurse, to a chiropractor, to a budget gym coach, and even to being moral support

Momoi often reminds you to take breaks being the caring person that she is

you often showed her the ropes and tricks of being a manager, on top of your duties, and you find it really endearing that she’s so earnest in learning from you

even if you enjoyed doing what you do, part of the massive workload is to try to get into Akashi’s good graces

talking to him about basketball duties is easier to achieve than talking to him outside of the extracurricular

you might be a tad bit insecure about it; after all, what middle schooler is already so accomplished in academics, sports, and everything you could think of? wasn’t he also studying to take over his father’s company??

to you, who only starred as Teiko’s humble manager, it felt hard trying to establish common ground for conversation outside of basketball

so you stuck to working hard at your position, hoping that your work ethic would get his attention one day; you were a firm believer of actions over words, so you hoped your actions would come off as genuine

picture you and Momoi running across campus with stacks of papers for the team… it makes most of the teammates’ hearts melt at the sight

your work certainly got you praises from other teammates, but out of all players, Kise was the one who figured out your motive

you felt absolutely morbid; to think that Kise, of all people, would figure you out like the back of his hand

Kise being sweet as he is, offers to help you get with the captain but you merely prompted to threaten to break his arm if he spilled your crush to anyone else

“(y/n)-cchi… I’ve been thinking.”

“Yes, Kise?”

“It’s really cool that you’re working so tirelessly for the team, but I can’t help but wonder if there’s a reason why you work so hard.”

“O-Of course I do! I want to see you guys all succeed!”

“Then I’m curious as to why you always look at Akashicchi—o-ow, ow, ow!! (y/n)-cchi, I’m sorry! So can you please let go of my—ow!”

“H-How did you know?!”

“I-It was as obvious as day, (y/n)-cchi! I’m pretty sure even Kurokocchi found out about this before I did!”

“N-No way!!”

“Tell you what, I’m super duper knowledgeable in this stuff! You can count on me for this sort of advice—OW!”

spoiler alert: Kise was right in that Kuroko definitely noticed your attraction to Akashi before anyone else… he just never brought it up to you

one day, Kuroko comes up to you to whisper:

“(y/n)-san, have you realized that Akashi-kun has been observing you recently during practice?”

“W-Wait! Is he looking over here right now?”

“Not that I think. He’s occupied with the coach right now.”

“D-Do you think this is a good sign?”

Kuroko gives you a small smile before he replies, “I would like to think so. Keep working hard, (y/n)-san.”

and you do, you’re constantly on top of your game for the next season until Momoi suddenly gets more recognition for her “precognitive defense” skills

her newfound talent was extraordinary and never-before-seen, and her ability became more critical to Teiko’s victories than your own skills

you were happy and proud for her, because after all, her achievements were extremely deserving to be praised

it’s only when some 1st-string players started making offhand comments about how you weren’t really needed in the 1st-string and was more suited to the lower strings that placed seeds of doubt into you

these people would often compare you to Momoi in how she improved much more despite you being in the team for longer

there’s also talk about how your skills are more useful for 2nd-string and 3rd-string players because Momoi’s ability is already sufficient enough for Teiko’s starters

after all, how would a player even be injured if they can predict their opponents’ moves to avoid such incidents?

there’s also the fact that Akashi has been calling Momoi more frequently to research on upcoming teams for analytical data because her talent has become very useful to ensuring victory

the same peers and adults who gave you praise were the same people who began to ignore you or dismiss you; that being said, the collective change in attitude is definitely subtle enough that it would fly under most people’s radars

Kuroko was the first to notice and defend you against a small group of players who were bold enough to badmouth you in the gym

Kise would find out a little later about the somewhat unpleasant gossip about you and would pull the “no you” reverse card, returning back with MEANER underhanded comments that would send these shit talkers CRYING HOME (manga Kise strikes here unexpectedly eh?)

Murasakibara is someone who would be slightly uncomfortable with the gossip about you, especially since you’ve always been so helpful and kind to the team and himself; he’d either leave the room himself or easily scare them away with his looming height and presence without saying a single word when he enters the room “minding his own business”

Midorima is a bystander judging from how he’s reacted to the Teiko dynamic changes in the actual show // he, of course, wouldn’t like the nasty talk about you but would actually mind his own business, choosing to focus on himself and what he has to do to contribute to his team; he assumes that you would work hard the same way he is and let your contributions do the talking

now Akashi surprisingly wouldn’t hear much of the gossip, since his presence alone SHUTS them up and commit to their practices like normal; after all, it’s very clear that Akashi doesn’t tolerate this type of behavior in the team (example: Haizaki), and it’s more apparent that he wouldn’t hesitate to drop kick them out especially since he has a soft spot for you (which Kise never fails to bring this up to you, but you think he’s reaching too much into it) // TLDR; the teammates mostly have the common sense to not utter anything bad about you… maybe one kid would slip out and get punished for “bad sportsmanship,” but Akashi merely assumes that it’s just one bad apple and not necessarily… the many others as well

Aomine???? bro he ain’t even at practice wdym (HELPPP LMAOO) // jokes aside, if he catches wind of players shit-talking outside of the gym… say at the convenience store or when he’s walking home or something, well… they wouldn’t have a good time…

Momoi simply chastises the gossipers when they try to talk shit on you to make Momoi herself look good, and it leaves? such? a? horrible? taste? like, she wants to believe that they’re just really poor jokes and not what they really believe in, and the teammates merely reassure her that they’re just bad jokes and that they “wouldn’t do it again;” poor Momoi wholeheartedly believes them

the weird talks about Momoi being “the better manager” just signalled to you that you haven’t contributed enough to the team yet, and it motivated you to work even harder

oddly, you weren’t jealous of the fact that Momoi was receiving more positive attention than you

you were more afraid of the fact that you were going to get left behind, and this fear only tightened its hold on you when more teammates (who used to talk to you a lot) have changed their tunes when they speak with you now, compared to them talking to Momoi

and you felt that the Generation of Miracles would do the same too… including Akashi

it wasn’t an irrational fear for you because he’s already been calling Momoi a lot more frequently for help than you recently

so you even offered to mop the gym floors after practice, offered to stay later than usual to be the one to lock up the gym for anyone (cough, Kuroko) who wanted to practice whenever they wanted

at one point, you even tried to do what Momoi does: researching on upcoming teams and making your own predictions (that didn’t really work, and that cost you a few nights’ worth of sleep every single time)

not to mention that you still had regular school like any other student? you were the epitome of a mess

Kuroko was with you in the empty gym, you putting away the extra basketballs in the storage closet while he practiced his dribbling, until he heard a crash in there and a few basketballs rolled out the door

you collapsed right when you rolled in the basketball cart

POOR KUROKO HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO // he just tries to give you a piggyback ride as he abandons his plans of practice and tries to jog to the nearest local clinic

that’s where he bumped into Kise, who was heading home after an evening shoot when he saw the two of you

chaos ensue as Kise freaks out and Kuroko had to calm him down himself after answering the never-ending questions

at least the doctor there gave relieving news that you only collapsed from over-exhaustion and that the bruises from the fall were very faint

Kise makes a joke to Kuroko about, “What’s with you and (y/n)-cchi falling to the floor and fainting? You guys can’t be that alike.”

when you shortly regain consciousness, you were met with a… very stern Kuroko and Kise, who were both ready to hear your explanation and to scold you to oblivion

to your surprise, they were understanding; Kuroko understands the feeling of not being enough and working hard to meet other people’s expectations, and Kise understands the struggle of juggling multiple things in his schedule (come on, student, athlete, and model?)

they still scolded your ears off:

“(y/n)-san, you idiot. Why didn’t you ask anyone to help out?”

“That’s…”

“(y/n)-cchi, do you think we’re undependable?!”

“Er, no, that’s…”

you were still dizzy from the fall and the lack of proper sleep (and maybe nutrition if we’re being honest), and you were just a ball of stress

you kind of begged your best friends not to tell a SOUL to anyone about this incident, especially to Akashi… you didn’t want to look even more incapable in his eyes than you already were

they do agree on one condition: for you to take AT LEAST a day or two off school to completely recover and rest up (you reluctantly agree; besides how were you going to explain the bruises that can’t be covered to your peers?)

HELP WHY ARE KISE AND KUROKO THE BEST LIARS TOGETHER ON CAMPUS LITERALLY NO ONE SUSPECTS A THING… except Akashi, the ever sharp captain, felt something was amiss

especially since some Teiko players emanated a feeling of relief at the news of you not being here that day, or the next

Akashi would play detective sleuth and find out what’s really going on sooner or later

End Note: gonna cut this off here b/c I KNOW this anon got a juicy part two i FEEL IT