#and how everyone here is lost or broken but they all wound up together

[kanerallels]

Platonic sebezra, circus au?

Oh-ho-ho I did NOT expect this prompt to take root the way it did. Ahem. But here's a little ficlet that doesn't even begin to touch the depths of brain rot you've given me

“You’re the new tightrope walker, right?”

Sabine didn’t look up from lacing up her shoes as she replied, “Looks like it.”

This wasn’t where she’d expected to be— a circus in the middle of nowhere, barely breaking even. Clearly, it wasn’t as popular as it used to be. Everything made that clear, from the worn out waistcoat that the ringmaster had been wearing when he hired her and the threadbare costumes hanging on a rack near her, to the fact that the tent was still nearly empty, and it was fifteen minutes until show time.

But she’d gotten stuck, and she needed the money. And luckily, she was good at more than one thing. Tightrope walking would be easy.

Rising, she turned towards the arena— and froze, coming face to face with a lion.

Her instinct was to scream, her second to run or fight. But instead, Sabine deliberately tensed her muscles, feeling the panic race through her, silently counting to five. When she reached five, she let out a long exhale, then lifted an eyebrow at the orange clad boy standing behind the lion.

“Let me guess,” she said. “Lion tamer?”

He grinned. “How’d you guess?” With a quick whistle, he called the lion back, and it settled next to him, looking like nothing so much as an over large cat. “I’m Ezra, and this is Jasmine.”

“Sabine. This how you greet all your new coworkers?”

Shrugging, Ezra said, “Only the ones who can handle it. And it looked like you could. Besides, it’s a good test of who’s going to stick around.”

Sabine had no intention of sticking around. This job would, hopefully, get her enough money to make it to her next destination, and then she would move on.

But for now, she just nodded. “Looks like I passed.”

“Looks like it,” Ezra said with a grin. “Welcome to Circus Spectres.”

[fire-emblem-drabbles]

What Comes After

Pairing: Astarion x reader

Prompt: In which you couldn't convince Astarion not to become the Vampire ascendant, but still do not allow him to do the ritual.

Description: You really did fall so hard, and so, so fast. No wonder when the ground came to meet you did it hurt just as much. But perhaps its not too late to stand back up again, if someone was willing to lend a hand.

Rating: sfw

Content Warning: hurt/comfort

Word Count: 3018 3244

Notes: I had to save scum this so much on my file that was romancing him. And well I be thinking about him a lot lately... I literally have no idea where these words came from btw so I hope u enjoy them! Edited: 10/6/24 Fixed some spelling mistakes and grammar, added a lil more flavor and tried to make it all present tense lol also this has a title on ao3 now it does here too

“It’s over,” Said with such disdain, such pain and hurt, directed your way. “I’m done with this, and I’m done with you.” Venom, dripping and cold. What happened to the warmth in his eyes? To the love that once shown in them, when he looked your way? “I would say good luck out there, but honestly? I hope you die screaming.” He looked so broken, so hurt.

You hardly remembered what came next, beyond your own tears. Astarion simply… left. Walked away as you crumpled to the ground, in disbelief. As you begged him to say. When you told him, over and over again, that you loved him.

Karlach and Shadowheart must have dragged you out of those dungeons, otherwise you might still be there, wallowing in your pity. You don’t remember how long it had been since then. Since you had stopped Cazador from ascending, freed Astarion from his grasp… and tried to convince him not to ascend himself. Your words may have failed to reach him that day, but your actions didn’t. You severed the connection of your tadpoles, kept Astarion from seeing his scars. You would not be the one to allow such evils to be birthed, would not allow him to kill 7000 souls. You did not allow Astarion to become the vampire ascendant.

Astarion, hurt, broken, and lost, then choose to walk away from you and everything the two of you had built together over this adventure.

You hadn’t really been the same, since then. Where once you were the leader of your little ragtag group of adventurers, now you couldn’t find it in you to leave your tent. Well… Astarion’s tent, to be precise. You never had one of your own. And when the two of you got together, it just seemed natural to share.

Gale had taken over in leading everyone for day to day adventuring on your behalf. Even though you wished it, the world would not slow down because you were hurt. No kindness spared on your broken, broken heart. Yet you couldn’t stop wondering where you went wrong. Were the two of you not as close as you thought? Could you have been more convincing, hells, more intimidating, anything to have kept him by your side?

It must be night now. Your candles are all stuffed out, the bustle of the streets beyond are quiet, and you can’t hear the patter and stomps of Scratch and the owlbear cub playing around camp. Your tears have all but dried, even if your sorrow remains as fresh as a new wound. No, all is silent in this moment. You take a deep breath. Yes, it would be best to sleep. Maybe tomorrow, you would wake up and feel like a person again. One who could attend to all her duties. One who could save Baldur’s gate.

But sleep never comes for those whose hearts are so heavy. This isn’t the first night you’ve lied awake, thoughts wondering. All for the better, perhaps-- because in the heavy quiet of the cities dark night, you hear the flap of your tent open with the utmost quietness. And you, just as quiet, sit up from your laying position. Who ever has invaded your space must have dark vision, for they pause upon seeing your form and do not move an inch.

“I can see you there.” Your voice comes out, gravelly and rough. You don’t sense your in danger, though, even as your heart beats and pounds in your chest. Who would be stupid enough to steal from a camp full of adventurers, with an owlbear lurking around no less. Still, with some trepidation, you cast the cantrip for light, and watch as your messy tent (and new guest) are bathed in cool, blue light.

“Oh,” Is all you think to say. You can’t really trust your eyes, so you rub the days of built up sleep and sorrow from them. No, you can’t even speak his name as you stare upon him. But you dare not look away. Even if it was a dream, it was him. It was him.

“...You’re a mess.” His words are soft, quiet. He seems to relax a little when he sees you make no movement.

“...I suppose I am.” You clear your throat a little after speaking, if only because a new lump seems to be forming now that you look to him. “How… how can I help you, Astarion?”

“Gods…” He heaves a heavy sigh, looking over your pitiful form. “I’ve hurt you this much, and you still think to help me? Are you stupid?” He shakes his head in disbelief.

“Perhaps.” You nod softly. “Stupid enough to fall in love with you, after all.” You can only smile weakly at him.

“I came here too…” He frowns, looking away from you for a moment. He seems to reconsider what he was going to say, sighing and shaking his head before speaking again. “Well it doesn’t matter why I came back. You clearly need some sense knocked back into you.” With that, he moves in closer to you. Surprised, you move in a little in order to accommodate him. You try to ignore the beating of your heart, ignore the hope that rises within you like a phoenix from its ashes.

“What… are you going to do?” You turn to him, nestled into your side like he might have been not too long ago.

“Talk, as terrible as that sounds.” He keeps his gaze down, looking at the messed up bedding. What does he see, in this room that shows the layers of your sorrow?

“Talk?” You repeat. “I thought you… didn’t want to see me again.” You look to where he keeps his eyes trained. All you see is a monument of your regrets.

“Well, that was then. This is now.” Astarion looks to you. To the bags built up under your eyes. To your cheeks, still rosy and sensitive with just how many tears you’ve shed (for him, no less). Your hair is unkempt and as gross as you are, all he can see is someone that loves him. Its bracing, in an entirely disgusting way. After all-- he was the one that did this to you. “I… said and did some terrible things during that ritual. Things that… looking back, I may not have done were I in the right head space.” He swallows hard. “I was… scared. And the promise of power, the smell of blood… it was all so intoxicating, I forgot myself there for a moment.”

The two of you sit in the silence a moment, festering in it. Words dance on the tip of your tongue but Astarion isn’t done speaking. He, too, needs a moment to compose himself. “But… you never forgot who I was.” He looks to you, something soft, something sad, something gentle written into the contours of his face. Even as he turns to you, he struggles to meet your eyes-- shining, glimmering, with everything sweet and promising and loving in them. Something that he doesn’t deserve; not after the actions he took that day.

“You did everything in your power to convince me what I was doing was wrong, but all I could see then was the security that power could bring me.” He closes his eyes, taking a sharp intake of air though his nose. “I was so blinded, I could not see that with you by my side, I was the happiest I’ve ever been these past 200 years…” As he opens his eyes, he looks down to his folded hands, then over to yours before quickly looking away once again. You realize, with much sadness, that even now as he tries to burrow into your familiar warmth, he hesitates to reach out and touch you. Maybe he felt as if he wasn’t allowed to do so any more, or perhaps felt he was no longer worthy… Whatever the reason, it breaks your heart just a little bit more.

“I… see.” It’s a lot to soak up. That in the moment, you couldn’t reach him but in the days sense Astarion has realized maybe this was for the better. The thought hadn’t even occurred to you that he might consider that. That he might actually miss you too.

“You saved me from becoming the very man I lived in fear of, and all I gave you in return was heartbreak.” He seeks your eyes, his own wide and wet and you realize he’s crying now. Tears flood your eyes as well, because he was right; you cared for him so much, though, it almost didn’t seem to matter. Almost. “How can I ever expect you to forgive me?” With that, he breaks, closing his eyes roughly and crying out, sobbing into his own hands. It hurts just as much as when you watched him sob after killing Cazador.

Some how, you summon new tears to cry with him. Two, love sick idiots broken and hurt but not beyond mending-- not yet.

“It’s okay,” You find yourself struggling to say the words, even as you usher him into your arms and hold him. He does not hesitate to hold you in turn, to cry unto you as you into him. “We’ll be okay, I promise, I promise.” Your words come out as prayer as you hold him close. “Just don’t leave again, please!”

“I won’t, I won’t.” Astarion seems to compose himself more quickly than you do, but he does not let go, even as you know your tears stain his shirt. “I’ve got you and I won’t leave you ever again.” He rubs his hand along your back slowly, doing his best to try and comfort you in the same way you have for him in the past. It’s a long moment before you feel yourself begin to breathe normally again, before your tears once again dry and you find yourself staring into his red eyes once more.

“I love you,” Your words are softer than a whisper, said with a trembling smile.

“I love you too.” Astarion responds in kind, resting his forehead against yours. You two stay content a moment, settling into one anothers missed company before he speaks again. “But you’re disgusting-- let me take care of you.” He pulls away from you and your left no room to argue. You merely blink, owlishly, as he pulls back. He moves to stand but you grab his hand before he can get too far.

“Where are you going?” You hold on to him with both hands now, and he has to pause to take the sudden fear on your face. Astarion had planned to leave to return with a little wash bin and rag but seeing you so distraught makes him pause. The last time he left you, he didn’t come back… He can forgive your sudden clingyness, then, but not how you’ve let yourself go in his absence.

“We’re going to get you cleaned up.” With a bit of a struggle, Astarion gets you to rise to your feet next to him. “Don’t make it more difficult than it has to be.” He adds. You nod slowly, still a little on edge from the panic that just flooded your system but nonetheless, choosing to trust Astarion.

So, with the difficulty that comes with only having one hand, Astarion pins open the flaps of the tent (your light cantrip soon goes out as well, but the inside is illuminated but the torchlight of your camp). Some of the stale air you had been living in gets to escape, and you’re able to take a fresh breath of air you hadn’t realized you needed.

Astarion gathers his wash bin, and the rag, and with you in tow, rummages through that the travelers chest you seem to toss anything and everything into. But, avoiding unmatched boots and careful not to prick himself on all the arrows that are in there (and trying not to think about how they were likely dumped in there after he left), he finds what he was looking for-- some soap. And though the water is cold, and the night is cool, at least with a little bit of soap and his careful hand, it’s not all bad.

“You need to wash these clothes too,” Astarion huffs. “I know you have other things, so let’s get you into something cleaner.” You’re guided back into your shared tent (which is already starting to smell better, but the scented water is helping as well) while Astarion rifles though your clothing. Here together again, you finally let go of his hand but stay close to him.

“Thank you…” You pause, watching him pick out something comfortable and warm. “I can take care of myself, though.” You add, attempting to take the clothing from him.

“I’m sure you can-- but I want to take care of you.” He doesn’t let go of your clothing as you try and take it. “So, let me.” His gaze flicks up to your eyes and you’re surprised to see him look so stubborn.

“Oh,” You let go of the clothing, surprised. “I… That would be nice.” You say it quietly, still too caught up in him being here, being real and touching you, loving you.

“Now, out of the nasty clothing, if you would.” He persists, grabbing the hem of your current shirt. He pauses before lifting it though, looking to your face. “That is, if you’re okay with me…” he trails, unsure.

“It’s you, so it’s okay.” You assure him. You raise your hands so he can take off the offending, stinky shirt, and toss it aside. Next, he removes your pants, tossing them the same direction.

“This might be a little cold,” Astarion tells you, but it doesn’t stop the flinch (nor the shiver) as the cool rag touches your skin. Still, his touch is delicate and careful.

He first wipes your face (part of it, still covered in blood and dirt from that same battle). He dips and wrings out the rag, before continuing his work. Your chest, your arms, legs-- all of you, gently washed and cared for. You realize this is the first time he’s been so intimate with you in a non sexual way. It’s… nice. To see his brow furrowed in concentration, have his hands upon you just hold you. It’s not like the two of you went entirely without touching one another in that time, but to have him initiating it, warms you in a way you’ve needed since his departure.

“Now, back in your clothing before you catch a cold.” You nod at him and smile, sliding on the familiar pants and shirt with comfort and ease.

“I already feel a lot better, thank you.” He smiles softly, but sits you back down.

“Just let me attend to this rats nest, and we can be done.” Astarion reaches for his comb, and sits beside you. “Lean back so I can wet your hair, darling.” He guides you down, with your head over the basin, and cups his hand to gather water before wetting your hair.

You let him work quietly, until your hair is wet and he can begin working out the knots starting at the ends. When the comb runs freely through your hair, he grabs the soap and carefully massages it into your scalp, scratching here in there. You let out a sigh in content, and Astarion can’t help but smile softly.

He was still shocked that you even talked to him-- let alone let him touch you. But the two of you needed this. To hold and be held, to love and let go. He was a fool to ever think he could be without you. But he was lucky, then, that you were fool enough to let him back in.

With your hair washed, combed, and dried and the water dumped and wash bin put aside, Astarion lets you sit back up and look at him. “So… what happens next?” You ask softly.

“Well… I’m not sure.” He admits. “I didn’t think you would forgive me so… I hadn’t really thought much beyond that.”

“I suppose we get our rest, then.” You heave a heavy sigh. “I know I’ve taken enough time off from adventuring… And you have some friends who deserve an explanation as well.”

“More talking?��� Astarion groans softly, but makes no move to leave your side as you lie down and tug him with you. “But… you are right.”

“You’ll be okay.” You give him a good, full body squeeze. “Everyone here cares for you. They’ll be willing to hear you out.”

“Perhaps only with you by my side.” He lets out a little chuckle. “But… that’s not such a bad thing.” He readjusts in your grasp, snuggling close and turning towards you. “Rest well, darling.” He kisses the top of your head, and smiles down at your sleepy expression.

“I will, now that you’re here…” It didn’t take long for sleep to find you, wound up in Astarion’s arms. You hadn’t slept so well in days, and who was he to wake you when you looked so peaceful…? It seemed like time passed so quickly with you in his arms, and before long he could hear the sounds of everyone else waking in camp.

Astarion couldn’t help but grow anxious as footsteps grew closer to the tent. “Solider, you in there?” Karlach’s voice called out. “I know you haven’t been very hungry lately, but I brought you some breakfast…” Unable to do anything to stop her, Astarion watches, helpless, as Karlach pokes her head into the tent. In the bright morning light that pours in with her, all he can do is look at her with wide eyes as her mouth begins to open. Acting fast, Astarion speaks before she does.

“Shh, just let them sleep a while longer…” Astarion turns from Karlach, brushing some stray hairs from your face. “When they’re ready to wake up, I’ll… I’ll be ready to.” He turns from you, back to Karlach, a look of surprise and glee on her face.

“Right! Right… I’ll be quiet!” She gives him a little thumbs up and quickly retreats from the tent. But… Astarion can hear Karlach, even if she is all the way across camp. First, she tells Jaheira, then Minsc, and Minthara and Lae’zel overhear… Then Wyll, Shadowheart and Halsin of course overhear and then Gale finds out, and now the whole camp is aware that he’s back here even if they are being remarkably polite about it….

Still, it brings a smile on his face. To know they were so excited to see him again (maybe even if it was only to see you happy again) was a comforting thought. To be among friends… That was something truly special indeed.

“Astarion…?” You wake slowly, eyes barely open as you look to him, hold him a little tighter.

“I’m here,” Astarion assures you, giving you a squeeze in return.

“Good…” You close your eyes and cuddle back into him, letting out a small yawn. “Let’s stay alone for just a little longer yet.”

“That can be arranged.” He can’t help but smile, and relax into you. Everyone else could wait a little longer yet-- you deserved what ever you wanted in this moment. And if that happened to be him, well, Astarion was in no place to say no.

[holy-amelie]

idk if it just me being depressed, but I want to live in sunday's dream. Live of escapism with nothing but joy. But I too know it's unhealthy.

AE!reader where joining the crew is their escape from their home planet, so they understand sunday's point of view of things, and to remind him he's not alone and they can grow out of it together.

idk if this is considered trauma dump or not, but if you're uncomfortable, it's okay to not write this too.

lots of love and I hope you have a good day

'Escapism' sfw (Sunday)

...when the world is too cruel ˎˊ˗

·.༄࿔ characters: Sunday, you

·.༄࿔ pairing: Sunday x g/n!AE!reader

·.༄࿔ cw: no tw, fluff and hurt/comfort, non-native english author, written before 2.7, but contains spoilers/leaks, be careful! Can be ooc but this is how I see him at the moment. You are from the Astral Express here.

·.༄࿔ a/n: thank you fror your request! And don't worry, love, I totally understand that feeling 💔 Sometimes I wish I could live in his dream too

Escapism is a refuge for the weary soul, a sanctuary where reality melts away. 

You, more than anyone else on the Express, understand how much we sometimes just want to escape the cruel reality and dissolve into dreams of a better world. That's why, back on Penacony, something in you resonated with Sunday's words.

That incomprehensible promise of paradise he dreamed of so much and sought so desperately.

But no matter how good his intentions may have been, their realization was not… Healthy. Not at all. Trapping everyone in a big, perfect dream with no choice was wrong, you knew that. Even if it was what your heart desperately wanted - a chance to escape reality.

Sunday was mentally crushed after all his dreams of a perfect future without pain and suffering were shattered. It had undermined his whole motivation, his whole purpose in life so much, that he was ready to be destroyed along with those dreams.

Waking up was the hardest part.

"Is there still a paradise?" he whispered, looking out the window at the star-studded canvas of space. "Or is there no place for wounded souls to rest?"

Sunday shifted his gaze to you, his eyes — shining pools of gold filled with endless sadness for everyone lost and abandoned in their pain. Something you've never seen in anyone else. Since he joined the Express, you've talked a lot, sometimes spending nights with a cup of tea away from prying eyes and ears. Underneath the leader's facade was a vulnerable, sensitive soul that was gradually revealing itself to you.

"I don't think this paradise exists," you replied quietly. "But… Even if it doesn't exist, if it can't be built for all who suffer, people are capable of creating safe havens for each other. Even in the most desperate times, people can create their own paradise. Small and fragile, but still."

It was a painful truth that you had to face, just like him. The way this world works, you can't just run away and hide forever. Locking everyone in a golden cage isn't the answer, too. Grief and joy go hand in hand. Without one, the other is meaningless.

He stared at you in silence for a while, trying to comprehend the depth of your words.

"You sound just like my sister," a bitter smile appeared on his lips and Sunday lowered his gaze. "In a good way."

For a while there was a comfortable silence between you, broken only by the hum of the Express' engines and Mart's loud laughter somewhere in the distance. Of course, it's hard to change your worldview at the snap of a finger, it really is, but Sunday tried. For his sister's sake, for the future, for… you.

"I understand how you feel," you said again. "I feel it too. The desire to find relief from suffering. But, Sunday…" you turned to him, and he tilted his head slightly, listening. "This world is complicated. Sometimes cruel, sometimes beautiful. Everyone has their own path, sometimes paved with suffering, and… Here at the Express, we can help those in need. And bring happiness back to them. Without forcing into anything. Without sacrificing our own happiness to create eternal paradise."

“Do you think I still have a chance to bring something good into this world?” he asked.

You just nodded. Despite everything, his soul was still noble and pure. If his intentions were channeled in the right direction, Sunday could be a ray of hope in the darkness for many.

“Then…” he smiled, much softer this time, not taking his eyes off you. “Will you be ready to find a new path with me?”

Of course. You will.

please, do not rewrite/copy/repost/translate my work without me knowing, you can always ask first, thanks

[zenaidamacrouras1]

Clint/Bucky aka Winterhawk aka Clucky aka Barneston (?) Fic Recs

Yes I am an (unhinged understatement) Stucky writer but I have a soft spot for Bucky and Clint romantically. Particularly Comics Clint. Something about his crippling self esteem issues stemming from his abusive childhood combined with how deeply, deeply nice he is. In my favorite Clint characterizations, he isn't nice out of naivety, he always knows he's quite likely going to get screwed over for being so compassionate and forgiving, and he just does it anyway. It's really a lovely fatal flaw.

Anyway, shout out to everyone with fucked up abusive childhoods who got all the trauma and none of the circus skills! All of the baggage and none of the archery talent, you know?

So here are some things I love about them together:

So Clint is so chill around Bucky's grief but also deeply compassionate and also a slutty disaster and also funny. I think it's a really good mix for recovering Bucky to let his guard down and be soft.

Sometimes, in some universes, Bucky needs someone who is just as earnest but not as serious as Steve, you know? Clint is whimsical and the Winter Soldier needs a lil whimsy.

Typically, though not always, in fics when Bucky is paired with Clint the other otps are Clint+Natasha as deeply committed best friends/platonic soulmates and Bucky+Steve as deeply committed best friends/platonic soulmates, so it's just a whole deeply committed, devoted, platonic and romantic love situation that really works for me.

Winterhawk manifesto aside, here are some fics I liked presented somewhat at random.

Starving for the Light by thepartyresponsible

@thepartyresponsible hopefully this is the author and not a random person with the same name. Hi! I love your work! My notes: Beautiful modern magical world, beautiful details, beautiful healing. Exquisite levels Clint who is so competent and just not aware of how gifted he is but not in a cheesy way, just kinda heartbreaking till it isn't.

Here is another beautiful piece by the very same brilliant mind:

Got a Heart in Me, I Swear by thepartyresponsible

My notes: Sports AU! Baseball this time but you don't have to know baseball and beautiful characterization + competence remains the shining thing that made me want to eat it.

Redundancies by Noxnthea @noxnthea

My notes: What the fuck. I wanted to read this entire fic at the same time, but it wouldn't fit in my eyes all at once which is my only complaint, but it's a very severe complaint because it is so clever and good. Universe hopping. Must love Clint. All the good things about Clint being so fucking good. It's so sad in the way that makes you feel a deep love of the world and that maybe broken things can be beautiful and happy again, over and over?

Lost and Found by Mariana O'Connor @mariana-oconnor

My notes: Do you like werewolves? Trick question. Everyone likes werewolves. This is a lovely small town full of mysteries that Clint stumbles into. Obviously he starts rehabbing a hotel and taking care of orphans because he is just nice like that. Bucky can't keep away because, ugh, Clint stop being fascinating and competent and sexy. Bucky is only one man and also traumatized have you no respect?

Silhouette also by Mariana O'Connor @mariana-oconnor

My notes: YOU GUYS. Very slow build spy adventure time if you like spy adventure and heists mixed with pining because your mortal enemy is 1. Sexy and 2. Competent. Also Natasha is the best friend and Steve is the best friend. We travel the world. Action scenes. Everyone is so sexy. And competent. I can't make this clear enough. Sexy little mysterious post cards appear in the mail.

Perfect Tense by shatteredhourglass @shatteredhourglass

My notes: Ronin Clint thinks he's irredeemable, but he can't stop having sex with Bucky Barnes. Who hasn't been in this situation? Bucky is very angrily bandaging up Ronin Clint's stupid wounds again, ugh, gah, seriously, surely all this hurt/comfort plus admiration for Clint's combat skills won't lead to falling in love? Feelings, action, intrigue.

Funny story I wanted to include a fic where Bucky kidnaps Clint but y'all there are SO MANY fics where Bucky kidnaps Clint and I can't remember which one. I bet they are all good so maybe I'll do a follow up with like, top ten fics where Bucky kidnaps Clint and they fall in love.

[maybankswhore]

𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍.

SUMMARY: after getting your heart broken by rafe cameron , you swore off dating altogether. you never wanted to experience that kind’ve pain again. but jj maybank was determined to get you to go out with him , and after multiple attempts to try and shut him down— you agree to one date , and realize that maybe you could love again . . .

walked in expecting you’d be late , but you got here early and you stand and wave — i walk to you.

There were some things that you could spare yourself from. You couldn’t control if people died around you , or if one day they’d leave you— stop loving you. Those things were out of your control. But your own actions were your doing , you were in control of your own decisions. You had made a decision to let Rafe Cameron take you to Midsummers , to let him kiss you , to promise you the moon and the stars— and eventually , you had let him leave you.

When he left , there was like this gaping hole in the center of your chest. It ached and begged for you to lick the wound clean and make the sting go away. Your heart was so broken , it shattered anything that you had left of you. You fell into yourself , into that sadness and regret. You lost all of your favorite things , your special interest. The relationship wasn’t the best— he wasn’t the best— but we all accept the love we think we are deserving of.

It had taken you almost a year to be able to show your face around the Outer Banks again. You had finally started hanging out with old friends , going surfing and bringing up your grades. Kiara offered you a job with her at the Wreck and you had happily agreed , happy to find something to occupy your time and get your mind off of things.

Kiara had introduced you to her friends and you immediately clicked with them. You knew them before but after you got together with Rafe , it wasn’t really something you’d be caught doing often.

And although they were all nice , one certain blonde headed Pogue just couldn’t get enough of you. Each time he’d shamelessly flirt with you , beg for you to let him take you out on a date— any date! He always complimented your outfit or how you looked that day. He’d bring you special golf balls he jacked at the Country Club because he knew you collected them. Anything and everything that could make your heart skip just a tiny , little beat.

But Rafe Cameron really did a number on you. You were now a woman scorned and you just weren’t sure who to trust and willingly allow yourself to be that vunerable again. Especially with JJ’s reputation , it was just too risky. You had to protect your heart.

Though JJ was determined to get you to say yes. He was a persistent little thing and even through all the eye rolls and playful shoves , you couldn’t deny feeling as though you could like him.

So on a whim , you agreed. You still giggled thinking about his reaction and how his face lit up. A quick kiss to your cheek that left the skin a burning , bright red before he took off to tell everyone.

Which is how you landed here , hands sweaty and nervous as you rubbed them on the back of your shorts. It had been a little earlier than what the two of you were scheduled to meet , and you wouldn’t have been surprised if JJ was running late.

Rafe always had been. Between the club , his father , and his friends— it was almost impossible to get him to be on time. You had grown used to it , to where you barely kept track of the time.

Walking in , your eye’s widened in surprise to find a familiar blonde sitting by the window. JJ had been early , the spot already been found. You could feel your heart in your ears , feeling yourself blushing as such a small action. But it made you feel good , knowing he was just as excited to see you.

His eyes lit up when he noticed you , a boyish grin on his face as he stood up from his seat. “Hey girl , you’re here early.” A playful smirk fell upon his face as he hugged you , blood rushing in his ears.

you pull out my chair and help me in , you don’t know how nice that is — but i do.

You opened your mouth to answer and tried to sit down , but JJ had already pulled the chair out and sat you inside of it. His attentive grin never leaving his face. A certain warmth huddled over you at the action , feeling the blood in your body become all mushy. You couldn’t help the smile you gave. “Of course. I couldn’t dare be late to the infamous first date.” You hummed.

JJ laughed and scratched the back of his neck nervously. “God I didn’t think I’d make it this far if I’m being honest.”

“Neither did I.” You snorted back , almost rolling your eyes at yourself when you thought back to the times you fought with Pope and Sarah about how you and JJ would end up dating and being a worse couple than her and John B.

The sound of your snort caused a couple people to glance over at you weirdly , to which you covered your face embarrassed. JJ only laughed , clapping softly while throwing his head back.

and you throw your head back laughing like a , little kid. i think it’s strange that you think i’m funny ’cause , he never did.

“So I ordered us like , everything.” JJ cleared his throat and pretended to sound business-like. “You can try a little bit of everything and tell me what you like so I can write it down for next time.”

“Next time?” You questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“Next time.” JJ confirmed , winking over at you.

You blushed at that , nervously tucking your hair behind your ear. You felt bad because you didn’t know what to say— you hadn’t dated in so long and it wasn’t like Rafe was much conversational practice. But JJ could sense your nerves , so he clapped his hands to catch your attention.

“So , Y/N , tell me about you.” He offered you the stand , and leaned back in his chair. “I wanna know all the basic stuff you’re supposed to learn about on a first date. Favorite color , favorite movie and song—”

Becoming flustered at the attention on you , your fingers fiddled with themselves. You desperately wanted to ease the awkwardness you felt. “I’d say like pink or something. If I wanted to be deep and mysterious then I’d say blue like the deepest parts of the ocean because I’m just so deep.”

JJ giggled at your joke and you smiled , feeling more confident with speaking.

“My favorite movie’s Little Women but I can’t watch it ever again because I cried for two weeks after I finished it.” You sighed remembering how that one particular scene made you feel and you almost teared up just thinking about it. “And my favorite song—”

Before you could answer what it was , JJ had answered it for you. You raised your eyebrows in surprise that he had known that. “You’re right. How did you—”

“You hum it when you’re working all the time.” He explained , grinning softly. “I forced Pope to get Kiara to ask you what it was.”

i’ve been spending the last eight months , thinking all love ever does is break and burn , and end. but on a wednesday in a cafe , i watched it begin again.

“You should smile more often.” You told him as the date wrapped itself up. The entire time a silly smile and girly blush dusted your cheeks. He kept you interested , feeling comfortable as he engaged in conversations with you. JJ listened intently , hanging on to your every word and you weren’t used to someone caring about what you had to say.

His aura seemed genuine. It settled in the air like an embrace that could soothe all the badness away. His smile glimmered , so wide and boyish.

“Why’s that?” JJ cocked his head to the side.

“Because you look pretty when you smile.” You answered him , feeling accomplished when he flushed at your words.

You weren’t so sure if things would go anywhere. You didn’t want to put expectations on something so early. But with JJ , there was a little bit of hope in your chest. Hopeful. Maybe love wasn’t all bad.

Maybe you could try again.

and we walked down the block to my car , and i almost brought him up. but you start talking about movies that your family watches every single christmas and i want to talk about that , and for the first time , what’s past is past.

JJ held your hand softly as he walked you back to your car. A comfortable silence hung over the two of you for a moment before he broke it when your car came into view. “You should come to the Boneyard sometime. I know Kiara would like you there , too.”

“Just Kiara?” You teased.

JJ nudged your shoulder. “Nah. But you’ll already be there with me.”

“Maybe , I’ll think about it. . .” You nodded. You wanted to tell him that you wouldn’t. You wanted to tell him that you were too afraid to go anywhere because you’d see him and he’d ruin everything. He still knawed at the back of your throat.

“This reminds me of this movie me and the Pogue’s watch on Christmas.” JJ couldn’t help but laugh , shaking his head. “50 first dates!”

You paused. “You plan on me losing my memory?”

“No! No— I mean like when Lucy keeps telling Henry she won’t go out with them and then she does and immediately falls madly in love with him.” He explained , smirking.

“Oh so I’ve immediately fallen in love with you?”

Reaching your car , you leaned against the driver side door. Your breathing hitched in your throat when JJ’s arm trapped you against it , his bicep brushing your cheek. His eyes locked on you , sweetly looking down at you. “Maybe not. But I think I’m gonna fall madly in love with you—” he winked. “If that’s okay with you , of course.”

You paused , a bit of your heart lurching in a way it hadn’t lurched in a long time. Rafe now long in the back of your mind as you looked at him— the past blurring in the background of sullen memories.

A future unknown.

You wrapped your arms around his neck , getting closer to him. “It’s okay with me.” You breathed , fluttering your eyes closed as he connected his lips to yours.

He kissed so softly , hands at your cheeks like you’d break if he was too rough.

It was only just the beginning.

[ofstoriesandstardust]

if there is a right time (chances are i'll be here) (twisters - javi)

​​a/n: my little i can fix him character study that could! thank you my dearest @sometimesanalice for reading this and always having the best thoughts.

summary: Five years after a summer romance in Miami, you and Javi meet again. The boy still means such a great deal to you, even after all this time. If only he wasn't in love with another.

warnings: mutual pining, angst with a happy ending, swearing

word count: 6.6k

You met Javi nine months after the Tornado Tragedy that stole everything from him.

In Miami for an internship and fresh off a bit of a brutal breakup, Javi had all but stumbled into your life as his cousin “accidentally” pushed him into you at a breakfast place near his house.

The hurt that was woven into both of you was evident, even in the way you both laughed together on long, drunken nights and three am gas station runs. 

Maybe it’s the hurt that had drawn you together all along. 

It’s three months later, at the end of your time together, on the first year anniversary that you hold him through the night, a raw and wavering voice piecing together the fragments of that nightmare. 

It was like whispers of a confessional, soft against the storm that raged in his mind. Your fingers had run through his hair, reminding him that you were there, that he was alright. 

Two weeks later, you’d let him go. You let him go even though you knew you could’ve loved that boy someday, loved all the broken parts and pieces of him. 

Loved him despite the fact that he loved another. Would probably always love another, a striking, enigmatic force from his past who’d left his world as abruptly as his friends had left this world. 

It’s a shame, you think, to have lost a love you never really had. You never could really grieve that open wound.

Especially not when you left that door open for him, always looking for him in every grocery store aisle, in every smoky corner of a bar through the Midwest, every time you followed a storm with the windows down, hand feeling the humid air and warm rain as the sky tore itself in two. 

Still, you feel frozen as you see him across the parking lot of the motel, the skies opening as he ducks out of an all too familiar red truck. 

(Everyone in these parts knew that red truck and everyone in the storm chasing community knew in some way, a member or two of the Tornado Wranglers. An old bull riding friend, a classmate, a one night stand, a bonfire friend. You all knew them one way or another.)

Well, at least, you think it’s him. You see the curls before you ever see his face, and while it’s shorter now, you think you’d remember the build of a man you’d spent so many moments wrapped around, even if for a fleeting time. 

“Javi?” You have to shout over the pouring rain, stepping forward in disbelief, as you cup your hands around your mouth. You didn’t chase seriously, not really anyways, and had only convinced a few friends from college to come out under the guise of showing them a good time. By all accounts, seeing him here, now, would be near impossible. 

For a second, you almost don’t let yourself get your hopes up. You’ve looked for this boy in every corner of the world you’ve ever gone — how would he be here, in the soaked parking lot of some run down motel near the border of Kansas and Oklahoma?

You were only on a two day chase, following Ty’s team out but you hadn’t realized he’d be with them. You had heard rumors Ty had taken on a new business endeavor, something about taming tornados, but it had all felt so silly you’d blown it off. 

It had all felt so reminiscent of a friend you’d once known, of a project he’d believed so much in, it hadn’t felt real. 

-

His head perks up at the sound of his name, his head swinging wildly around the parking lot, before he spots you. His eyes grow wide in disbelief as giddy joy propels your feet forward, darting across the parking lot before you can even think about if he wants to see you. 

He lets out a laugh in disbelief as his body collides with yours, a warm rock against you as he tightly wraps his arms around your frame. 

“How are you here?” He sounds incredulous, almost as giddy as you, and you fist your hands in the slick material of his rain jacket. 

Your hair is longer than it had been the summer you’d spent in Miami, when you chopped it off all of five days after arriving, complaining incessantly about the humidity. 

You have a few new piercings and he thinks he might spy a tattoo peeking out from your shirt under your collarbone. 

“I- I work part time out at Muskogee as an adjunct. I bought a house out in Claremore two years ago.” 

A house. You’d bought a house. You’d bought a house — all alone? 

His eyes widen impossibly as his hands come to cover your own. “So- so like you- you being here in Oklahoma isn’t a fluke?” 

It’s the twinkle in your eye that almost makes him believe this is a dream he’ll wake up from. 

That look that says there has to be more than coincidence we both ended up here right now. 

That feeling deep in his chest that’s telling him strings of fate tugged you and Javi together to be right here, at this moment in time in your lives. 

He isn’t quite sure what to say to you.

He’d hopelessly thought of you for years to come after you’d left his life, the if onlys hanging around in the back of his mind, the fantasies of what he’d do if he ever saw you again comforting him on the darker days. 

But for all that he dreamed, he had never thought it would be a reality. 

-

“Are you-“

“So…” One of your friends say, and your head pops up, body turning to face her. You miss the way Javi’s face falls, the start of a question you barely heard lost to the wind. “If this little show is over, I’d like the room key, please.” 

“Piper has it.” You breathe as Javi’s hand travels down your back. 

“She-“ Bailey cuts herself off, face pinching in frustration. “She got stuck inside.” 

You splutter, brain short circuiting around a confused huff and a “I told her she needs to yank it”. Instead you turn, catching sight of more than one Wrangler peeking out their windows to watch you and Javi.  “Where’s Tyler?”

-

One unstuck door, a few hugs, and an hour and a half later, you find yourself crammed into a booth much too small to fit your friends and the Wranglers at a dingy roadside diner. 

You’re wedged between Dani and Javi and you giggle as Kate, through giggles of her own, regals the group with yet another tale from her and Javi’s undergrad.

“…So anyways, Javi is wasted right. And so is Addy, and she trips and Jeb and I, we both go to dive for her, to keep her from falling and slipping on the ice and when we finally get her righted, not without the two of us almost going down with her, cause I’m also drunk at this point, we turn around to find Praveen begging Javi to get out of the fountain they hadn’t had a chance to drain yet.” 

Javi’s face is crimson as the table roars in laughter, and you think you may not ever breathe again as silent giggles consume your whole being at the thought of a wasted nineteen-year-old Javi in a icy cold fountain during a surprise first snow, hollering about taming a tornado. 

It would be a good way to go out, you think, as Javi gives you a sheepish grin, air finally crackling through your lungs as a few tears slip down your cheeks. 

Tyler chokes on the other side of Kate and you slide down in the booth, shoulders shaking. Maria kicks your ankle under the table across from you, where she’s sitting in between Boone and Piper. 

“What the fuck are you laughing at? One time in college you stood at the stove for twenty minutes and couldn’t figure out why your food wasn’t cooking, all cause you had the wrong burner on! And you were sober!”

The table erupts again, much to the unnoticed irritation of the lone waitress, as Maria retells the story of the year you two had lived together, when you’d stood at the stove, unsure why your frozen package of fried rice wasn’t cooking, hoping to solve the problem with more olive oil. And boy, was there a lot of olive oil. 

“You don’t have room to talk Maria - you gave me a very expired jordan almond that nearly cracked a tooth!” You finally shoot back, earning you another round of laughter. 

After the table has finally quieted, a few stray giggles from Boone as he leans into Lilly, Kate pulls herself together enough to ask “Do you have a trademark chasing song?” 

Piper snorts into her milkshake. “Today we learned it’s A Pocketful of Sunshine… on repeat.” 

“Whoever used to get stuck in the van with Javi was made to listen to Salió El Sol by Don Omar probably about a dozen times.” Kate offers up in response. 

“You two are a match made in fucking heaven.” Dani comments under her breath and she groans, wincing as you deliver an elbow to her ribs. 

“It’s kind of ironic that both songs are about sunshine and you play it while chasing a storm when it’s very much not sunny.” 

Bailey frowns at Piper. “It’s almost like… that’s the whole point.”

-

“I still can’t quite believe you’re here.” Javi comments quietly as the two of you walk farther away from the source of laughter and noise, the twinkle of stars poking out from the sky streaked with clouds. It had been a good day, a good chase, and Tyler had ensured he led your friends to a great show. They were content to sit around a crackling fire, drawn in by the Wrangler charm (and you would never say, but you could see the looks Piper had been tossing Boone all night).

Javi puts his hands in the pockets of his jacket, licking his lips. “You know, I- I always thought about you. Where you were, how you were doing. What I’d do if I ever saw you again. A whole 50 states, countless cities, and who knew you’d be here in Oklahoma.” 

“Well, the Oklahoma part’s easy. I wanted a teaching job after finishing my masters and Muskogee wanted me enough that uh, moving to Oklahoma was outweighed by all the pros of the job. And then yeah, I found my place, cute little yellow house with a porch just big enough for two chairs to curl up and watch the thunderstorms like I’d always wanted. It all sort of fell together for me.”

“And the storm chasing?” 

“Like your Mom used to say that summer in Miami, the worse the weather the happier the girl.” 

A haze glazed over his eyes. “Yeah, she did used to say that, didn’t she?” 

You snort. “She used to say it every chance she got. Especially after that one time I stood out in the storm and then your cousin Mickey yelled from the back porch that I was gonna get struck by lightening and then you pulled me inside because of-“ You cut yourself off, suddenly feeling off-kilter. 

You weren’t sure if that was off-limits. 

“How is Mickey?” 

Javi snorts. “Ah, he’s good. He’s stationed out in San Diego right now.”

You kick a rock. “Doesn’t that sound dreamy.” 

Javi lets out a real laugh this time. “Yeah, he isn’t going anywhere. After years of barracks and aircraft carriers, he’s basically living the high life in his four bedroom off-base beach house he shares with some of the guys.”

The two of you keep walking towards the outer edges of the motel, finally pulling you to a pause as you turn to Javi. “Kate seems really nice, Javi. I could see how you’re in love with her. Hell, I kinda think I’m in love with her.” 

His Adam’s apple bobs as he works his throat. He glances away from you, scuffing his feet against the muddy ground of the parking lot. 

“I don’t know that I am.”

You sigh, unclenching your hands from where they sit in your own jacket pockets, resisting the urge to reach out and touch him. “Javi, you don’t have to lie to me. It’s okay.” You soothe. “We were never together, not really, and besides, it’s been years since then. It’s not even an attempt of an attack, just an observation.” He eyes you, silent, and you sigh. “Javi, really, I didn’t mean anything by it.” 

“That’s not what I meant.” 

You falter but the boy doesn’t offer up anything else and you sigh again. “C’mon, tell me more about this new business venture of yours, I’m kind of interested in hearing how I can get involved with taming a tornado.” 

-

Javi falls back into your life as easily as he had fallen into it last time. 

His apartment in Tulsa is only a thirty minute drive from your house, a drive Javi says he’d make a million times over. 

Some nights, he’ll find his way to Claremore and the two of you will share dinner in your cozy kitchen. He’ll never tell you, but that first night he’d gone over to your house, he’d sat in his car for eight minutes, eyeing the warm lights inside the house, preparing to meet some- some husband or serious long-term partner because, well, a house is a big purchase. A house says I mean to be here for a while. Much to his pleasant surprise though, as you beam at him as you take the flowers and wine from him, there’s no partner in sight. 

He lets out a sigh of relief as he bumps hips with you in the kitchen, stirring a sauce, that he has you to himself. Not only had you created this simple little life for yourself that you had loved so much all on your own, he has you all to himself. 

He has a chance this time. 

Other times, you’ll meet him in Tulsa for a drink, laughing into each other as you recount the summer you’d spent in Miami and he catches you up on the days you missed. It’s an ache, to hear about the growing pains of the last few years for Javi, but that ache soothes itself every time you see him laugh, or pull Boone into a playful headlock, or him and Tyler bicker  business over Cathy’s barbecue. 

Sometimes the two of you will go for drives, you making him listen to every album of all your favorite artists that he might’ve missed, and on quieter nights, watch the summer storms from your porch. Sometimes, he wraps his ankle around yours, just to feel you. 

Even when he’s chasing, he calls you, even just to say goodnight, even if you always pretend not to hear the muffled teasing of his friends from somewhere off camera. The sleepy FaceTime calls, however short, make something in him swell every time he gets another chance to do it. 

He took things for granted once. He won’t take them for granted ever again. 

As the year grows, so do the two of you. 

The question he asks you as you walk back to your car after a movie shouldn’t take you by surprise. Still, it does and you stop as you turn to face him. 

“Do you want to go on a date?”

It’s a chillier night than usual for the summer that’s quickly fading into fall and you’re wrapped up in your jacket as you study his hopeful eyes, a nervous smile on his face. 

“None of that fooling around shit we did as kids. A real one this time.” 

“Javi.” You breathe out, so soft and sweet. 

You’d forsaken a chance to love Javi so long ago. A weaker woman would forget the way he’d confessed the quiet love he’d held for Kate, even if it felt like he’d love from afar. A weaker woman would forget the way he’d confessed that he thought he’d probably always be in love with Kate, his feelings for the girl frozen in time to the day that took so much from them both. 

But those feelings didn’t stay stuck in the past, had all caught up to him when he’d asked Kate to come back to Oklahoma last year.

And the Javi in front of you wasn’t that same scared kid who’d taken off for the Army the first time his older brother pressed about the lingering phantom pain. This was- well, not a fully healed Javi — could anyone really ever fully heal from what he and Kate had gone through — but a Javi who was on his way to healing. 

But still- 

Javi looked at Kate with a soft fondness, their bond unexplainable. The way they fed off each other’s energy, the little handshake they had going on good chase days, it all struck home to you. 

You knew what Javi had with Kate. Even if Kate never felt the same way towards him, you knew the feelings of the boy in front of you.

“No, Javi.” You say softly and he takes a half step back, jaw going slack. 

Too long, you’d been people’s last resort choice, the girl people picked when they had no one else. You wanted to keep Javi in your life but not at the cost of knowing that every night you laid next to him in bed he was thinking of someone else. 

You didn’t blame him. Kate was every bit of the enigmatic, bright, witty force that he’d described her to be. She was a freaky genius, a level of intelligence you were in awe of. Everyone around her was drawn into Kate’s presence and orbit, the time spent with her never feeling like a loss. 

You know that Kate was the type of girl that you fell for and loved forever. 

“Javi, I’m sorry.” You whisper. “But I can’t. I can’t be that for you. I think-“

He holds up a hand, taking another step back. “No. You don’t need to explain it to me.” 

“But I-“

“No, I get it. We’re better off as friends, just cause you were interested then, doesn’t mean you are now. You’ve got someone else.” The last sentence is delivered with what seems like to be great effort and your eyebrows furrow. “There’s countless excuses you could give me. We don’t need to go through them.” 

“No, Javi, you aren’t listening to me-“

“No, I heard you loud and clear. Get yourself home safely, okay?” 

And then he turns on his heel, walking towards his truck as you stand there dumbfounded. 

-

The cold of the Oklahoma winter is bitter, biting at your nose and cheeks as you duck in the barn, finally letting yourself breathe. 

For a holiday meant to be filled with cheer, this had felt like anything but. 

The last few months between you and Javi had been increasingly strained, the ever-persisting struggle of both of you being able to understand the other. Being at Kate’s for Christmas had felt suffocating, as Javi had hesitated around you the whole day, almost seemingly unsure of how to handle himself around you on such a big holiday. Javi had never hesitated when it came to you, and watching him so at ease with the rest of his friends had put a sour taste in your mouth even the sweetest of the hot toddies couldn’t rid. 

“How you and Javi haven’t fucked yet is beyond me.” 

Tyler’s words are crass, said with nothing less than the cowboy charm he turns on for the cameras. 

“Fuck off.” You say, back turned to the man as you thumb through the notebook on Javi’s desk in Kate’s barn. Tyler’s feet crunch against the cold ground as he walks closer. 

“Party’s inside, you know.” 

You don’t say anything and Tyler finally sits down next to you, the bench creaking as he does. 

“What are you even doing out here kid?” 

You shrug, looking up at the collection of photos. “How do you love someone with the kind of grief they carry?” You say quietly. “I mean, does it ever make you feel weird- Jeb? Like she’s not yours to love? That she belongs to another?”

He sighs. “I’ve never thought about it like that, I guess.”

“Then how do you think about it?” The question is blunt as you finally look away, meeting Tyler’s eyes. “Cause I gotta be honest with you, loving someone who loves another is exhausting.” 

Tyler ponders your words for a minute and you let him, knowing this conversation carries too much weight for unformulated answers and quick quips. “Of course, Kate will always love Jeb. Even as she heals and even as she grows around the grief, she’ll love him.” He draws a breath. “But you can’t do that to yourself, the wondering what ifs of if they had still been here. You’ll make yourself damn miserable if you do. Just because she loved Jeb before he died doesn’t she mean she’s not ever allowed to love again.” Tyler worries his bottom lip, looking like he’s unsure if he can, or should, say his next thought as he glances at a picture of the original Tornado Tamers. 

It’s Christmas, just like it is now. Everyone is in some variation of a Santa hat, Addy’s and Kate’s funny face pulled at the camera, the only sight of Jeb being his thumb held out as he took the picture. Javi and Praveen are none the wiser to what’s happening as Javi is urging the kid to drink eggnog for the first time. 

You know this story, it was one of Javi’s favorites. It was their junior year and a blizzard had blown through right before the holidays. All incoming and outgoing flights had been grounded and Cathy had offered her home up to the Tamers to spend the holiday.

“Just because he was in love with Kate once doesn’t mean he can’t love anyone else again.” 

The thing is, Javi had never told you that story. Kate did. She had told you softly last night as the two of you had made cookies, recounting the story with a bittersweet fondness. She had told you that remembering through those stories, that their lives, their love, had been real made the grief easier to swallow. Her friends had been real and they deserved to be remembered for the forces they were. 

They’d have wanted Kate to move forward. They’d have wanted her to find family and laughter after them. 

You sniff, not realizing you’d started crying until the warm tears start to streak down your face. Tyler’s eyes tear down from the picture in concern, a hand pulling from his coat pockets to rest gently on your shoulder. “Hey, hey. It’s okay.” 

You remove your hands from your own pockets, thumbing tears away from your eyes. “I sort of think he’ll always be in love with Kate.” 

Tyler shakes his head. “No, I don’t think so. I remember when Kate first got here, the way he looked at her. He’d do anything for her but- it’s different now.” 

Javi had said that to you once, the night before the two of you had parted. That he’d do anything for Kate. If she called him tomorrow, he’d go AWOL and join her in New York. He didn’t care what it took, just that he wanted to be there for her. 

“Sorry, this is weird to be talking to you about.” You croak. “I shouldn’t be-“ 

“I get it.” He says, cutting you off. “Okay, with them- it’s delicate because they know things about each other you and I will never understand, no matter how hard we try. But it’s not like that with them anymore. I think-“ Tyler cuts himself off. “Well, I guess I don’t really know what I think. I just know that the way he looked at her changed. They’ve fit into each other's lives the way they were supposed to always be. And it hasn’t just been since you’ve been around. Javi- he’s different now.”

“He asked once.” You say softly. “He asked me on a date in September. I said no.” Tyler’s eyes widen but your words and tears spill faster than you can stop either of them. “I said no cause- Javi and I just didn’t have a summer whatever one year in Miami. It was the summer after- after it all happened. I was there, on the one year anniversary. I held him as he told me how he’d lost them, the fear as he was shouting into a radio no one would ever answer again. I know the way he used to talk about Kate, the quiet awe you have of her too. And I get it, okay, because Kate’s Kate, and she’s an incredible- Kate’s one of the best people I’ve ever known. But I know the way he said he’d always love her. I know it because I’ve played that moment on repeat for five years now in the back of my head, willing that moment to be different. Because if it was just Javi grieving, I’d understand that. But I can’t love him while he grieves a love for someone else that will never come to fruition. And I don’t blame him. I couldn’t. Because of what he went through, driving around that wreckage for hours, searching for his friends, because he was the one to have to identify Praveen and what was left of Addy- and oh God- because I see what he sees in Kate. And I know I will never compete with that. He’s all I’ve ever wanted but he’s openly told me she’s who he wants. So- I don’t know where this leaves me.” 

Your shoulders shake with tears as Tyler frowns, unsure of what to say. 

“I just want him to love me back.” You say around salty tears as someone knocks cautiously on the barn door. 

“Everything okay out here?” Kate calls. “You guys have been out here for a while and Boone’s trying to trick Dexter into drinking the spiked nog- are you okay?” 

You’ve turned away from her as you cry over Javi’s notebook. It’s an old one from his Muskogee days (you can tell because his sprawling scribble of handwriting had much improved since these days, now a neat legible penmanship you think Scott just about beat into him) and distantly you wonder if he’ll care that you’re ruining years old notes about radar technology as your tears drop onto the page. 

Tyler moves away from the bench, and you hear him usher Kate out of the barn, even if it doesn’t really register with you that they’re gone. 

There’s another creaking on the bench next to you some time later. “Ty?” You croak.

“Just me, ‘m afraid.” Javi says gently, voice steady and smooth like honey, which only prompts you to cry more as you fight the urge to lean into that sweet comfort. “Okay, well you don’t have to have that reaction.” He huffs, part kidding, part annoyed. 

All you can focus on is the hint of irritation in his voice and you shake your head. “It’s not you.” He grunts and you shake your head more vigorously. “I’m not mad at you, I’m not. I’m just sad.” 

“Sad to see me?” 

“Kind of-“ 

He starts to rise from the bench, much to your panic. “I’ll go get- well, Dani doesn’t really do feelings, so um-“

“Javi-“ 

“or maybe Lilly? Or Dexter-“ 

“Javi, no-“ 

“-if you want that sort of older and wiser opinion-“ 

“Javi, please just listen to me-“ 

“I can even go get Owens again if you want-“ 

“Javi I’m sad because I love you!” You near shout. “I’m sad to see you because I’m in love with you but you’re in love with Kate and that makes me sad because I just want you to love me back!” 

Javi freezes, awkwardly straddling the bench. You sit there in an uncomfortable silence, too many agonizing seconds passing. You feel like you can hear your heart threatening to beat its way from your throat and out into the open and the tears feel suffocating as you stare back into the face of pure disbelief. 

“You- what?” His eyebrows pinch together, falling onto the bench with a rather loud thud. 

“I’m in love with you, okay? I’ve been trying to avoid it for months but I can’t. It all means too much to me, like when you call me to tell goodnight when you’re out chasing or- or how you always pick me up that apple pastry from the bakery in Tulsa. All the sweet stuff you do for me but I- Javi, I love that you’re back in my life, it’s all I’ve ever wanted. But I just feel like I’m the alternate- the- the second choice because Kate’s with Tyler. And I can’t give myself away for someone who will only ever give me pieces of themselves in return.” 

Minutes pass as Javi scrubs a hand down his face. “But I- I asked you. I asked you out on a date. You said no.” 

You give a pitiful shrug, having given up on wiping away the tears that are freezing to your skin. “I don’t want to be who you settle for because you can’t have her.” 

He lets out a low breath, head ducked. The gnawing pit in your stomach grows as Javi keeps his face turned away from you, not letting you see his expression. “All this time, I thought there was someone else.” 

You recoil back, surprise shocking your system. “What?” You let out, mind reeling. “Javi, I spend all my free time with you. When- when would I have the time? When have I ever said anything about seeing anyone else?” 

“You said no.” It’s a simple fact, one you can’t argue with. “You said no and we never talked about if either of us were seeing other people.” 

You swallow, glancing away. “Well, I’m not. For the record. All I wanted was you.” 

A beat passes, a chill blows through the barn. “You really think I’m in love with Kate?” He asks quietly, voice raw. 

“You told me yourself that you thought you’d always be in love with her.” 

Javi finally looks up at you, something immeasurable and unexplainable swimming in his glassy eyes. “Yeah, I loved Kate once. But we were kids. We were kids who thought we were invincible. And we had everything taken from us because we got stupid and reckless. We lost everything. And after she lost Jeb, I knew that there would be no way she would ever look at me that way, especially not after she met Tyler. I think- I think of Kate and I as like a broken bone. That break hurt like hell, but time mended our wounds, brought us back together. That bone’s stronger now, we’re stronger now because we’re friends.” Javi scoots forward so his knees touch yours as his eyes take on a pleading glimmer. “You and I, we didn’t end up here in Oklahoma by coincidence. Call it- fucking fate, invisible string, I don’t know. But I don’t take any of it for granted. I took things for granted once and I got punished for it. I’m not taking my second chance with you for granted. All that stuff- the- the calling you at night, spending all my time with you, doing that sweet shit for you- you gotta know it’s cause I love you, you and no one else, and I’m not ever going to take it for granted because I know better than anyone how quickly it could disappear.” Javi takes your hand, gently moving it to place over his heart. “C’mon darling, you have to know that you’re the one my heart beats for.” 

Your breath hitches at the gesture, eyes darting around his face, looking for any sign of him being untruthful. 

All you can find is a raw honesty that’s making it hard for you to breathe. 

You lick your lips, sucking in a shaking breath. “Javi, I don’t- I don’t know.” 

He squeezes your hand before letting it fall as he stands up. “Think about it.” 

So you do. 

You do think about it. 

You watch Javi the rest of the night, the way he makes sure to snag an extra of your favorite cookie before Boone can take it so you have something for the drive back to Claremore. You watch as he and Kate fight over the rules of Uno, Lilly unfortunately squashed between them. You can’t help but notice that Javi hugs you just a little bit longer than he does everyone else. 

On the drive home, you think of the way Javi has always been warm to you, has been a safe place to go, a soft place to land. The way his hugs feel like coming home. The way he’ll sleepily ask about your day, mouth full of toothpaste, Boone’s elbow in his face as they cram into the tiniest bathroom. 

That night in bed, you think of the way his Mom sent you a Christmas present, how his younger cousins always asked him when you were coming back to visit. You think of the way he cooks his Mom’s recipes for you on the bad days, the light in his eyes when you bring him your grandmother’s cookies after nasty chases. 

Over the next week, you think about the work lunch dates and your work from home days spent at his and Kate’s office in Tulsa. You think about weekend chases shoved in between him and Boone, knees knocking together. You think about how sometimes, on days he’s feeling good, he’ll let you ride shotgun in one of the work vans, letting you help set up the radars. You think of the way he lets you sit next to him and Kate at the end of the day, breaking down the data for you, quietly explaining anything you don’t understand. 

You think of the way you’ve always wanted to know what his lips taste like after eating his homemade penne alla vodka and you’d give anything to spend another night molded into his frame, scratching your hand through his curls. 

You think of the grin you caught one time as you had insisted on dancing in the rain. You think of the time his team had caught him staring at you as you awed over a summer lightning storm on the road, the teasing endless. You think of the way he’d taken it, never denying it. 

You think of the way Kate kept softly nudging him towards you, the way Kate and Javi had opened up to you and Tyler about their dead. You think of the times the four of you had found yourselves together, a content peace emanating from the group, knowing you’d found your love. 

A million memories later, you know it’s the truth. 

Javi loves you. 

The minutes pass by on your dashboard clock, the start of the New Year looming, and you pressed your foot on the gas, begging anything out there that would listen, Javi had decided to stay in tonight. If he was in Sapulpa with Kate, or had actually decided to take that last minute flight out to Miami, this would have all been for naught. 

You park on the street, the noise of the people in Javi’s apartment ramping up as midnight drew closer. The sound of your feet running up the stairs were drowned out by the noise of his neighbors and you cursed under your breath, hoping he’d hear the almost frantic knock on his front door. 

You have to remind yourself to breathe, gulping in air, when the door swings open, revealing Javi, decked out in grey sweatpants and a silly Wranglers shirt Dani had given him, looking like he’d been on the verge of dozing off. 

He says your name in surprise, shuffling forward almost as if to touch you. “What are you doing here?” 

You take a shuddering breath, shrugging. “What’s that stupid thing Tyler always says? If you feel it, chase it? Well Javi, I feel it. I feel it and I’m chasing it.” 

His breath hitches but you give him no other time to respond, tugging on the front of his shirt as you pull him down into a kiss. 

It’s soft, it’s searing. It’s everything you could’ve ever wanted. 

His lips mold themselves against yours, hands finding your waist, as your palms slide up against his shirt, curling into his hair. You tilt your head, letting him deepen the kiss as the pressure on your hips grow. 

Distantly, you can hear fireworks set off. 

He pulls away, more than a little breathless as his thumb reaches up to wipe a bit of saliva away, heat flooding your cheeks at the movement. 

“Does this make me your New Year’s kiss?” 

“I guess it depends on if it makes you my boyfriend.” 

He shrugs nonchalantly, tugging at some of your hair. “I think we could maybe work something out.” 

You suck a breath in through your teeth. “Can I come inside? It’s fucking freezing out here.” 

“Oh shit, yeah.” He tugs you into the warmth of his apartment, moving to behind you to gently remove your coat from you. You swallow at the casual intimacy as he turns to hang it on the coat rack. His hands are back on you not much longer after, his lips place open kisses down the side of your neck as he moves your hair out of his way. 

You hum, leaning into him. “Bedroom?” 

“Bedroom.”

-

The new January light filters through the cracks in Javi’s, a soft grey covering the room as you reach you to card your fingers through his hair. 

He stirs, nuzzling closer to your hand as he blindly reaches out for you. Once he finds you, he softly tugs you towards him. 

“My ma is gonna be pissed I’ve taken you to bed before I’ve taken you out on a date twice now.” 

You snort, head falling into the crook of his  neck as his hands slip under your, well, actually it’s Javi’s shirt. You slide impossibly closer to him, grinning into his shoulder at his hiss at the feeling of your cold feet sliding in between his legs. 

“Did you ever actually get this mole checked out like I told you to?” 

You peer up at him, admiring the way his eyelashes frame his eyes, his freckles visible even in the silvery lighting. “Is that really what you care about right now?” 

“Just asking.” He mumbles. “Am I not allowed to care about your well-being?” 

You hum, reaching a hand up to ghost over his cheek. “I guess that might be okay, lover.” 

He groans, hands flexing around you. “Don’t tease me like that. ‘Specially not when you’re wearing my shirt and boxers like that baby.” 

You laugh but don’t push the moment any farther, wanting to relish this quiet moment with him. You’d never have the first morning of being with him again, after all. 

“I love you so much baby.” He says softly. “I still can’t believe you showed up like that last night.” “You’re my home Javi. How could I have gone anywhere else?”

[mswyrr]

They presented the possibility of older women--who were repeatedly described as "covenless witches" in a story that also repeatedly told us a witch needs a coven--finding community again and a new reason to live in each other and their own power and then "subverted our expectations" with these women dying to serve a male character's story.

That was the point of their stories. Him.

It isn't common for older women in US pop culture to get depicted as people who are capable of rebirth. Of lives, desires, hopes and dreams that matter beyond solely being a mother. It rarely happens, and it didn't happen here.

It's rare for stories to deal metaphorically with real things - like women who get clean or make positive change in their 40s or 50s. Women who find each other and aren't alone and "forgotten" anymore. These things happen -- yes, sisterhood is sometimes a lie and sometimes "people never change." Sure, those things happen. But sometimes sisterhood isn't a lie; sometimes people make change in their lives.

You don't see these stories when they're women though, especially not older women, especially not gay women.

I'm glad for Jen. She doesn't have a community, though. A witch needs a coven they told us, over and over again. They showed us them getting one small taste of the joy they could share together, in their scene of flight. But that was just for Billy too. And now everyone else is dead. To serve the male character's journey, give him some angst.

Agatha is forever spiritually dead--not experiencing any kind of emotional breakthrough or change--because she's not the lead, so she's static so she can serve as a device within the true lead's journey.

She can't even be allowed the growth I pictured as the worst case scenario - where she dies for *the coven*--so they can live and have community and spiritual rebirth together--and makes enough peace to go with Rio. She doesn't even get that much, to get to have a real death that matters and has a sense of completion to it, where we can imagine her reunited with her child and/or at peace with Rio. She can't have that because she has to be Billy's amusing sidekick, his Jarvis, his moral warning lesson about his powers and the witches he got killed and his angst. Because his story matters and theirs didn't.

I was talking to a friend the other day about how love stories often have a "point of symbolic death, when all hope seems lost" (concept from Pamela Regis's study of romance novel structure) and with mf couples they get to rise again from that, into rebirth, into new life. Ff canon couples in stories often, due to a bunch of reasons, aren't allowed that narrative power. They remain trapped in tragedy and despair. I thought surely Agatha herself though, as the lead character, would get to have some kind of change or rebirth as part of a community of women, given that her core wound is betrayal by community -- but she, as a character, doesn't get to go into the symbolic underworld and change and be reborn, because she was never the lead character to begin with.

Sapphic love remains broken once it breaks, the "point of symbolic death" is literal death or a shattering end, there is no rebirth. We, I guess, lack the symbolic potency to come back, in the eyes of the world? We are not generative. "Which one's the man?" "How do they even have sex?" "Your marriage isn't real because you can't make babies." (Kudos for subverting that one, though, show! Except... a child born of women, without a man, cannot live a full life I guess?) And specifically, as a 30something queer woman, people who call my wife, after I've described her as my wife, my "girlfriend" and are shocked by how long we've been together. That we're grown women and our commitment is right down to the bone, that it has blood in its veins. We are not little girls playing dress up. But that is how a ton of nice people see us; we exist but we are spiritually empty, lacking potency. And the stories reflect that. That energy, that core belief that we are the juvenile, non-generative form of love and relationships. And this woman too, she remains in a kind of eternal spiritual death.

That's why people are mentioning the Hayes Code, they're feeling how that aligns with larger cultural prejudice against us and our humanity and capacity to have the kind of power of living and loving that is ascribed to mf love and that more (though not always, misogyny is a hell of a thing) straight women get in stories.

The idea that it's GOOD for a story to do this, because "sometimes sisterhood is a lie" and "sometimes people don't change" ignores that context of who precisely this narrative "subversion," this spiritual aridity is given to. And who gets to live and grow and be reborn and strive and learn and become in stories, to be allowed to connect with the transformative potential inside themselves and each other.

The show did give us a lot -- I think it's important to recognize that. The canon ff love; I would have never expected that. The canon kiss. They put a lot into that and I honor that. This wasn't a classic "bury your gays" and I'm not mad at them. They did their best. A lot of the issues I have are probably due to the problems of the mcu overall and how static it is. But the deeper themes are also just incredibly disappointing to me, and I wanted to outline why.

It's entirely possible to be disappointed but appreciate context and not be unkind to creatives who did their best within overall industry/cultural limitations, which is where I am at and what I mean with this.

[rblooms]

The Love That Slipped Away.

this is part two of my previous story the love we lost.

Description: (Gojo x Reader) It's been a year since Satoru Gojo cheated on you. He thought it wouldn't hurt when you left him. He soon realized that you were the one for him.

Warnings: 18+, Strong language, MINORS DNI!

part 1 linked here

Days have been extremely dull and gray. Satoru has done nothing but work, exorcise curses, go home and rest. It's the same cycle every day. Sure, his oh so beloved Amy was there with him, but it wasn't the same. You would always lighten up a room with a smile, But Amy didn't. Satoru and Amy didn't have anything in common other than their sex life. Ever since you left him, he's been nothing but an empty shell of who he was. You took his heart with him that day.

He thought he would be better off with Amy but he was so very wrong. Amy was nothing but a pretty face with no personality. Satoru's students disliked Amy. They would always ask for you.

"Sensei! Where's Y/n?"

"I wish y/n was here."

"I miss Y/n!"

He has no clue where you are or what you have been up to. You blocked his number and social media accounts. He obviously tried looking you up but was always met disappointment when you were nowhere to be found.

A few months later. It was mid spring when Amy had cheated on him with another man. Satoru was heartbroken shattered even. Amy had left a wound on his heart. He truly did love her. His world was all about her but what is his world now that his left? He was left ruined and alone in the place he once called "home". He sat on his bed lost in thought. Heart now broken in pieces.

"Is this how y/n felt?"

He had finally felt what you felt the day you find out he was unfaithful. It was an awful feeling. It was a stomach-churning feeling. His beautiful blue eyes had opened. He realized what he lost. What he let slip away. He took your love for granted. You were meant for him. You were his person. You saw much more to Satoru other than the strongest and a pretty face. Memories of you and him being happy together flooded his mind. Tears filled his angelic cerulean eyes. He sobbed and sobbed till no more tears fell from his eyes. His porcelain skin was stained with tear streaks. His ocean like eyes were now red and puffy. His snow liked hair was disheveled and ruined.

Was it worth it? He chose a girl with a pretty face. A good fuck. Were his friends and students, right? Did he really just pick a doll face over the most extravagant person who always bighted a room with just their presence alone? Whose voice and smile always made his heart flutter like a bird in cage ready to burst. His warm bed that he once shared with you was now cold and barren. When was the last time he got a proper goodnight sleep?

He would do anything to get you back. no matter how long it takes. He has to see his other person. The person who still has heart.

He walked around the streets of Tokyo. He looked at the Stores and Cafes nearby. The cherry blossoms where in full bloom. Streets were covered in beautiful pink leaves. He eyed the Pastries that people were handing out. The sweet fruity delightful aroma of the pastries filled his nostrils. There was on peculiar scent that caught his attention. It was your scent. That sweet scent you always had. It was as if spring had blossomed all over you. He would never forget that sweet scent you always had.

His eyes widen and he looked to where the scent was. His eyes rapidly scanned over everyone. All he could hear was the sound of his heart beating. His eyes fell on your beautiful smile. There you were. God, you looked so mesmerizing. You were glowing. A sight for sore eyes even. His cerulean eyes were focused on you. The pink petals that flew in the wind complimented you so damn much. He has fallen for you all over again.

He was so happy he has finally seen you after so long. He walked towards you. His heart was pounding like crazy with each step he took.

"Y-Y/n..? is it really you...?" He spoke softly but loud enough to make you look at his direction. His heart skipped a beat. Your beautiful colored eyes stared at his disgustingly beautiful eyes.

"Satoru." You replied with a nonchalant voice. His heart ached with the emptiness in your voice. Your voice used to be sweet like an angel.

"You look good." Satoru complimented you with a soft smile but all it left was a sour taste in your mouth.

"Don't try to sweet talk me" You scoffed at him. Satoru awkwardly smiled.

"It's good to see you again."

"I wish I could say the same" There was a hint of sadness in your voice.

"L-Look I just wanted to-" Satoru was caught off by a voice coming from behind you.

"Sorry sweetie the line was really long." A tall man with long black hair with weird bangs and black circle stud earrings approached you. The unknown man gave you a gentle kiss on your cheek while he wrapped his arms around you. He had a pastry package with him.

"Oh? Satoru what are you doing here?" Satoru got a better look at the man Infront of him. It was his best friend Suguru Geto. They were friends back in high school before they separated ways.

"Suguru? What are YOU doing here?" Satoru was caught completely off guard. Why was his best friend here with his beloved? So many questions swirled in his head.

"I'm here shopping with my lover" Suguru wrapped his muscular arm around your waist pulling you into his side keeping you in a secure grasp. Satoru had jealousy and sadness in his bright blue eyes. Seeing you with another man had his heart aching. Your sweet warm smile wasn't for him anymore. He is no longer the man you wake up to every day. That should've been HIM by your side. Not Suguru.

"You guys know each other?" You asked your boyfriend Suguru turning your face to look at his beautiful face. He was smiling. "We have some history from back in our high school days. Long story short he's my best friend." Suguru gave you a warm smile. "So, who is he to you?" Suguru asked you with sweet smile.

"He's the unfaithful ex-boyfriend I've told you about." You said with a sigh. Satoru's heart twisted with sadness and guilt at the word "unfaithful". He eyes didn't dare to meet your eyes. He knew what he had done. How could he ever get you back? There's no way he would be able to call you his again. The guilt that drowned him was enough to make him puke.

"Oh, so Satoru is the man that crushed your heart all those months ago?" Suguru was looking at Satoru with nothing with disappointment. "I'll admit Satoru. I never expected this from you. How did you let such a sweet person slip through your fingers like sand. Hm well, I guess if it wasn't for your fuck up, I wouldn't have landed such a lovely person."

Suguru looked at his white-haired friend. Satoru looked ruined as he finally faced the music. "I never meant for shit to turn out like this. Fuck! I'm so sorry Y/n. I know an apology isn't going to change the fact I hurt you. I know we can't fix shit between us. I finally realized how much you loved me. You were my everything and still are. You gave me your all. I was pathetic to not treat you the same way. But I've lost you now. Even though I'm not the one who's going to be by your side anymore at least someone will." Tears fell from his Ocean colored eyes falling onto the pale sidewalk. People looked the commotion happening but carried on their day.

You looked at Satoru as he silently began wiping his tears. Suguru's grasp around your waist tightened. Suddenly, the memories you tried so hard to forget came back. The day you ended things with Satoru. The day your heart was shattered to pieces. The one fucking day you saw him and his girlfriend passionately making love. skin on skin. lips on lips. hand in hand. It all came back to you. You watched as the man in front you broke down in tears. His eyes becoming puffy. His blue ironed button up was now wrinkled and stained with tears.

You grabbed Suguru's hand and intertwined it with yours. He let go of the grasp he had you in. You looked at the broken man Infront of you.

"I wanted you and only you. But you wanted something more. And I couldn't give you that. You made your decision when you picked her over me. I gave you my word, my loyalty, my trust. But you didn't give me anything. I always ate dinner alone waiting for your arrival, but you would eat another womans dinner and share a warm meal together. Where was I when you went to her house to fuck? Was I even a priority to you? I was questioning my worth every damn night. The lipstick stains on your neck and clothes never went unnoticed. I begged for your attention for you to look at me again, but you never batted an eye. I was never important to you Satoru. I never was. The nights I slept alone and cold in our shared bed were always the worst nights ever. You only started caring once I left." You looked at him once more before turning around and walking away with your boyfriend hand in hand.

Satoru can only stare with tears running down his face. He was an idiot to come looking for you. He was an idiot losing you in the first place. Your words struck his heart. He looked at you as your walking away from him. He has to live with the guilt of betraying you. He managed to pick himself up and head home. The sky turned gray, and rain started pouring. He hopes the rain will wash away his sorrow. No one will ever replace you again. His love that slipped away. Maybe one day. just maybe you will comeback. Until then he'll wait for you with open arms.

Thanks for reading!!

Bloo Note: Hey guys so sorry for part 2 coming out so late. I was not gonna make "The Love We Lost" a part 2 originally lolol. BUT I did mange making a part two while juggling school. Ending was INSANLEY rushed but hope u guys eat this up (or hate it idc). credit to the people who made the dividers!! taglist: @kawaiivillainess98

[holylulusworld]

Designed by pain (8)

Summary: Broken hearts are hard to put back together. 8 years ago, Dean lost something he didn’t even know he had in the first place. Will he get a second chance?

Pairing: former AU!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, language, past break-up, arguments, daddy Dean

A/N: This was an alternative idea for the first chapter of my Bucky story: Monster-in-law masterlist. I decided to use it for a story with Dean.

Designed by pain masterlist

Designed by pain (7) 

Dean looks at you, silently apologizing for messing up his chance to talk to you. Your son was all over the stranger he invited to your home.

Now you try to find a way to get Dean and his brother out of your house. Sam tried to help. He called every hotel and bed and breakfast in your area, but no one had a free room for the night.

You sigh, deeply and exasperated. You’re tired and wound up by your unexpected encounter with your former lover. 

All you wanted was to forget about your meeting with him in the States and go back to your life.

If not for your son being overly excited to talk some more with Dean, you’d call Ketch to have your back in this. He’s your best friend, an ally, and the brother you never had.

“Not even for tonight?” Sam sighs too and hangs up again. He looks at you and shakes his head. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I tried anything but there is no free room for tonight or the next days.”

“We are having an important exhibition next week, and it’s the busiest time. Tourists all over town, exploring and annoying…” You bite your tongue, and huff. “You can both have the guest room.”

“There is only one bed,” your son says while stuffing more food into his mouth. He chews loudly and burps.

“Michael!” You tut. “What has gotten into you?” You’re too tired to let your son walk all over you and your feelings too. 

“A real man does that!” He argues and crosses his arms over his chest.

“No,” Dean jumps in. “A real man respects the person taking care of him. Especially when the person is his mother. He will not do such a thing after she has made sure he’s well-fed and happy.”

Michael pouts, and sniffs. “I’m sorry Mom. I won’t do it again.”

“Good. Now you will go and wash your hands, brush your teeth, and get ready for bed. The day was long, and you bugged your mom with the toad and me,” Dean gets up from his chair and points toward the door. “You’re lucky you’ve got a great mom. Not everyone is so lucky.”

You watch Dean handle your son while you try not to scream at him. How dare he act like a father only to get you to talk to him? 

“Uh-Y/N,” Dean nervously stammers. “I’m sorry I spent so much time with Michael. I came here to explain a few things.”

“Dean, I’m beat up and not in the mood for more lies. Let’s just leave the past behind. Get on a plane, leave this continent, and forget we ever met.”

“I-I believed you didn’t want me anymore,” he says before you can walk out of the room. “I came back to our room and found the ring. There was no note. Anger got the best out of me. I gave up without knowing about the baby or that you wanted me to go after.”

“How many more times do I have to tell you that I left a note,” you snap at Dean and throw your hands up. “Do you still want to pretend I’m the villain in this story?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “It was my mother. Sam and I talked to her before coming here. She finally admitted that it was her stealing the note.” Dean drops his gaze. “If not for Sam, I’d never found the guts to confront her. I’m so fucking sorry.

Dean steps closer. He looks at you, silently pleading with you to not kick him out before he gets the chance to at least apologize for all the things he did in the past and today.

“Did she tell you what I wrote?” You ask while keeping a close eye on Dean. He tends to overstep and get physical. If he hugs you like he used to do, you are done for.

“No,” he wipes his eyes. “We tried anything, but she refused to tell us. I assume you told me about your pregnancy and wanted me to man up and not be an idiot.”

“You’re an idiot, that’s correct,” you snap, struggling to hide the grin wanting to fight its way on your face. “I guess the note wouldn’t have changed a thing. You still ignored me, and let your mother treat me like shit. You were all over that ex of yours too.”

“I was drunk,” he raises his hand before you can tell him this doesn’t matter. “I know this is no excuse for acting like I did that night. But, you must believe me, if I knew about the baby…” Dean sniffs and drops his head, “I would’ve followed you to the ends of the earth.”

Sam awkwardly sneaks inside the room to get his bag. “I’ll retreat and try to call a few hotels again. Maybe I forgot some.”

“The guest room has a bed and a couch,” you wince as you must admit the lie you sold them so easily. 

“Sneaky,” Dean grins. He chuckles and winks at his brother. “I guess we don’t need to cuddle tonight, Sammy. I hope you’re not disappointed.”

“Jerk,” Sam grumbles before leaving the room. “Goodnight, Y/N. I’m sorry you have to endure my brother’s presence. Be patient. He’s an idiot and has abandonment issues.”

“BITCH!” Dean bites back. “Who asked you?”

“Who came to me, desperate and crying? You wanted me to help, so I help,” Sam huffs. “Don’t fuck this up too. I’m done watching you waste your life.”

“Sammy…” 

You watch Sam leave, swallowing thickly. “Do you still want to know what the note said?”

Dean fights the lump in his throat but nods. “Yeah…”

“Fine,” you turn around to grab your notebook and a pencil. You rewrite the lines and push the piece of paper in his hands. “It’s late, and I’m going to bed now.”

Dean looks at the piece of paper in his hand. He reads the lines, feeling his heart break all over again…

One night of passion, a life-long responsibility.  This is your decision. Are you in or out?  I got a job offer in London and will accept it if you don’t want to be a father yet (or at all).  If you are still the man you made me believe you are, call me tomorrow. If not, have a nice life…

Part 9

[sxxythingz]

Let me show you

Lo’ak Sully (21) x Na’vi fem! Reader (21)

Warnings: smut, p in v, breeding kink, cursing, cream pie, mentions of cheating, aged up characters

Summary: After some time of dating while you were human, you decided that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with Lo’ak so you became Na’vi. You didn’t realize that while you were still human, he wasn’t exactly faithful to you until one day you catch him in the act. After you decide to leave him, he figures out a way to make it up to you.

WC: 5.0K (I didn’t realize it was that many words guys I swear)

���MDNI🛑

“Get your hands off of me, I am done!” You yell as you snatch your arm out of Lo’ak’s hand, storming through the forest as tears threaten to fall from your eyes. “Wait y/n, just let me explain! Come on, don’t be like this.” He says as he follows behind you while you quickly paste through the forest, far away from his hut.

“No! There is nothing to explain Lo’ak! I caught you with yet another girl. What is this, like the 5th girl in the past few weeks?” You abruptly come to a sudden halt and stand in front of him with your arms folded. He looks at you, defeat in his eyes and he huffs loudly. “I’m sorry, ok? I won’t do it again. It was a mistake y/n, I swear!” He says and you chuckle as you throw your hands into the air. “Cheating on me 5 different times is a mistake? Have you lost your mind, is that what you really think in your head? That this was all a mistake?” A broken giggle leaving your throat to stop you from crying as you run your hands through your soft, loose braids.

“No. I’ll tell you what the mistake was. The mistake was permanently transferring into an avatar just to be with you! There’s no telling what you were doing while I wasn’t here and I regret ever even knowing you.” You shoot him a cold glare as you see the heartbreak cloud his face. “Y/n… you don’t mean that. Don’t say that, just come on. Let me-“ he protests as he tries once again to grab you, but you back up before shaking your head quickly.

“You didn’t even deny being with other girls while I was still human… I thought you loved me, I thought you were my mate, that we would be together forever and build a family together. I did this so we could bond properly, I have no one here except for you and your family. I gave all of myself to you and you continue to pretend that I don’t exist. I just can’t do this anymore Lo’ak. We are done.” You spit at him before you turn around and begin walking off to prevent him from seeing the tears that have begun treading down your hot face.

About 2 months have gone by since you and Lo’ak have broken up and you’ve not sure how you are even surviving at this point. You’ve realized just how much time you guys have spent together since you’ve met, never really parting from each other for too long. After all of the years that you two have spent together, walking past each other as if you don’t know who the other is has to be the hardest part of it all. You’ve left your family and friends on earth, making his family, friends and everyone in the lab the only people that you have left, but it’s just not the same as having him. As hard as it has been without him, you know that going back would be pointless because he’s just going to do the same thing as before.

Who am I kidding? You think to yourself as you scoff aloud. He's probably already in another relationship with someone else right now. You walk through the forest, searching for Kiri since you don’t really feel like being all alone. Today would’ve been you and Lo’ak’s 6 month anniversary and people always say time heals all wounds. To you, it quite literally felt like the opposite since you have been dealing with all of the other anniversaries all alone, but it seems that the further out you guys would’ve been together, the worst you feel.

“Kiri!” You yell out as you finally find her in the middle of the forest, playing with the leaves that light up. “Y/n! Where have you been? I have not been able to find you all day.” She says as she gets up and runs into your arms, embracing you with a tight, warm hug. Ever since you’ve gotten here, way before you became an avatar, Kiri has also become one of your best friends, especially considering that she was nearly your family before Lo’ak messed that up.

“I’ve just been walking around. I’ve had a lot on my mind today, you know.” You say as you both begin to walk together. “It’s you guys' 6 month anniversary isn’t it?” She asks and you give her a look of confusion as to how she would remember it when she didn’t even know what day you guys had made it official. “Lo’ak was telling me and Neteyam about it earlier this morning before he and Neteyam went off to training.” She confesses to you and your heart drops at the fact that he even remembered.

“I see.” Your head falls down as you think of how you guys could’ve spent this day together had he not been such a fucking cheater. “He is really broken up still about you guys. Father gets so upset with him because he hasn’t been paying attention during training. We hear about it every single night after they return by father yelling at him.” She says as she rolls her eyes.

“Well that isn’t my fault nor my problem. He’s the reason why we aren’t together anymore, he just couldn’t get himself together and it wasn’t that hard. I have no sympathy for him.” You speak in a low tone, causing her to giggle at your aggression towards him. “He won’t stop talking about how sorry he is and how much he regrets it. It is actually quite pitiful. I asked him why he won’t just tell you that instead of us, he says it is because you won’t hear it.” She says and you let out a small chuckle as you nod your head.

“I gave him plenty of chances Kiri. I excused him the first 4 times that he consecutively cheated on me. I have nothing left in me anymore to give to him. I gave it all away and he just keeps hurting me.” You feel the tears begin to come up while you try your hardest to swallow them back down, but you fail miserably. Kiri glances over to you as she sees the tears begin to flow and she stops, turning you towards her as she wipes the tears off of your heated face.

“Hey, don’t cry. I know what he did was wrong and so does he. Neteyam scolded him for it because he knows how good of a girl you are. You are amazing and we all see it. You know what will cheer you up?” She asks you and you shake your head, looking into her eyes for the answer. You wanted anything to get rid of this dreadful, empty feeling forming deep inside of you. “Let’s go to the lab and see what those skxawngs are up to, hm?” She says, you smile as you nod your head. She grabs your hand and begins walking towards the lab.

You walk into the lab, grabbing masks, wrapping them around your necks as you both inhale deeply in sync before dropping them down to hang around your necks. “Y/n, Kiri. What are you guys up to?” Norm asks as you come and sit next to him while he scrolls on the computer. “Trying to cheer my y/n up. She is feeling a little down today.” Kiri tells him as he looks at you. “It’s the anniversary isn’t it?” He asks you with a sympathetic look, you feel your eyes automatically rolling as you realize. “Let me guess. Lo’ak has told you too, hasn’t he?” You ask him and he laughs a little before looking back at his computer. “He came in yesterday, super upset about it and talking about-“

“How much he regrets it and he wishes he could apologize.” You cut him off to finish his sentence off for him, already knowing exactly what he’s going to say as you watch him nod his head as he chuckles. “You know, if he’s this torn up about it, then why won’t he just tell me about it directly?” You ask as you shake your head in frustration. Norm’s eyes land on you then towards the door as his eyes widen. “Well he might be able to.” He says as you look in the direction that he is looking and spot Lo’ak standing there, his eyes burning holes into your back before you turned around.

“Hi y/n.” He mumbles out as he stands in the doorway as if his feet are stuck in one place. “No.” You mumble as you quickly get up and try to walk away, but he gets in front of you, making you hiss at him. “Just wait. I heard what you said. You said that if I was really that torn up about it, then why wouldn’t I just tell you directly? But you have to give me that chance to do it. Please? All I need is a few minutes.” He begs of you and you roll your eyes.

“Norm? Would you be so kind to set a timer on your phone for 10 minutes?” You ask him as you quickly look back at him, your hair swinging with your movement, hitting Lo’ak in his chest. “Uh.. Done!” He shouts back at you with a thumbs up after setting the timer on his phone and you nod your head before looking back at Lo’ak. “You have 10 minutes, and I’m being generous with that. Come.” You say as you walk towards the door of the lab while he trudges behind you thinking of the perfect words to say. You both walk out of the lab and deeper into the forest before you suddenly come to a stop and stand in front of him. “What do you have to say?” You ask as you fold your arms.

“I-I’m sorry for what I have done. I love you so much more than I thought was possible. It’s been so hard without you and this sucks. I realize what I’m doing wrong and I know that I have hurt you. No, I can’t take it back, but I can promise to do better and cut out the things that hurt you. I can promise to be good for you and to you. I can be the mate that you want out of me. I see that you have completely changed your life for me, you’ve become one of us just for me and I am so thankful for that. I want to show you the right way that I appreciate you and just how happy you make me.”

You feel hot tears forming in your eyes at his words, oh how you wish they were real. “Look, I know it’s hard to believe coming from me right now and I accept that, but just give me one more chance please.” He confesses to you and you look down at the ground, wanting to scream at him. Wanting to tell him how much you hate him, wanting to tell him how much you’ve needed him, how lonely you’ve been without him by your side, but you hold it all in.

“No Lo’ak. It’s-it’s just not that easy. As much as I want to forgive you, as much as I want you to do right for me. I just can’t believe you because you’re telling me you’ll change. I can’t take anymore heartbreaks, it’s tearing me apart.” A tear falls down down your cheek, triggering him to step closer to you. You back up as you look at him, watching his eyes become glossy before you stop and let him continue to step towards you.

“Please y/n. I know it’s hard. I’m trying so hard to tell you how much I love you and if you’ll just give me another chance, I can show you. No more cheating, no more playing games, no more breaking your heart. I just want to make up for what I’ve done so please just let me do that. I’m begging you. What can I do to show you that I’m serious?” He asks you as he places his hands on both sides of my face and more tears begin to stream down your face as you shake your head, not having an answer for him. “How about I show you tonight?” He asks you and you look into his yellow eyes, silently questioning his words.

“Let me make it special. This is not the way that I want to ask you to forgive me so please let me show you tonight. Meet me at the spirit tree right as eclipse falls.” You slowly nod your head, not sure of why you’re even agreeing after you said you were done. “Ok I’ll see you then. I promise I’ll make it right.” He says before he gently rubs your face one last time before letting go of it and walking off, leaving your cheeks to feel as cold as ice without his warm touch.

You place a purple flower in your hair before readjusting your purple loincloth that matches the flower in your hair. You walk out of your hut, looking into the sky to see the moon that just began to appear in the sky. You let out a small sigh before you begin to walk in the direction of the spirit tree. You question why you agreed to such a stupid thing, why you won’t just turn back around and not even show up, but your feet deceive your mind as you continue to walk towards the spirit tree. You said that you wouldn’t go back, that you were done, so why are you even giving him a chance to explain?

I’m so stupid, I know, but I love him so much. It’s so hard to walk away from him. But I have to and I have to tell him that tonight. That I truly meant what I said and that I am done for good. I have to move on and find someone who is good for me, who loves me and who dares not to treat me like an option. You think to yourself as you get closer and closer to your destination.

You approach the spirit tree and your mouth drops at the beauty of it. You’ve only been to the spirit tree once and that was to transfer your soul into your avatar body, so this is your first time truly observing it in its true beauty. You look down and see Lo’ak standing up as he begins to walk towards you as you come to a stop, waiting for him to meet you.

“Wow. You look… beautiful. I’ve never seen you in purple, it makes your skin glow.” He says as he comes inches away from you and you feel yourself smile as you look at the ground, your cheeks burning and your heart skipping a beat. “Thank you.” To both of your surprises, you accept the compliment as you retract your eyes back to him and you feel him grab your hand. “Come.” He says as he walks you to the spirit tree.

“It’s beautiful.” You say to him as you walk around the tree, paying attention to every small detail about it. “This is where we come to connect to our ancestors and the souls of those who have passed away. It’s a sacred place.” He informs you as you turn around and look at him. “Why did you bring me here?” You question his motives as you slowly sway towards him. “Since this is the most sacred place on pandora, I wanted to bring you here for something very sacred if you would allow me.” You raise your eyebrows at his response as you watch him grab his queue and bring it in front of him.

“Before I messed everything up, I know that you wanted to make tsaheylu (bond) and I know that you might not want to anymore, but if you do then I am more than happy to do it. I promise to never hurt you again, I promise to always put your needs first. I promise to be the mate that you always wanted and I’ll do anything to make you happy. In these 2 months, I realize how hard it is being without you and I never want to experience this again. I love you, Y/n. Please forgive me?” Desperation clouding his voice as he stares into your eyes, looking for the forgiveness that he’s asking for. “I-“ You try to speak, but you feel the tears coming as you watch him watch you, his eyes quickly pacing back and forth.

“I-I can’t-” You don’t finish your sentence as you watch him drop his queue in defeat, his head dropping as well. You step closer to him and look at him as he looks into your eyes. “I can’t be without you Lo’ak. I have tried in these 2 months, and it’s been the hardest thing that I have ever done. I don’t want to be without you Lo’ak, but I don’t want to be hurt anymore. All I’ve ever wanted was you from the moment that I met you. It will take a lot.. but I’m willing to work on us and build together. I can’t say that I forgive you right now Lo’ak, but I want you to prove to me that I am all that you want so that I can forgive you. So that we can move on.” You say back to him as you reach behind you, grabbing your queue and placing it in between you guys, causing him to smile and grab his once again.

He grabs your hand and pulls you down to sit right across from each other as you slowly bring your queues closer until they finally connect. You feel your body jolt as your eyes flutter shut, a sensation running through your body as you see all of the memories that Lo’ak has, all of the thoughts that he has about you. Love, adoration, your children to come, the bond that will grow stronger for you two. Your strong partnership and friendship that you’ve both taken the time to build over the years. You slowly open your eyes at the same time as him, a smile creasing your soft lips. “Lo’ak. Nga yawne lu oer (I love you). You say as you reach up and touch his face softly. “Nga yawne lu oer, öeya yawntu.” He says back to you as he leans in and kisses you.

The kiss is slow and soft at first, but it quickly speeds up as you both become hungry for more of each other. He pulls back from the kiss and looks into your eyes before standing up and holding his hand out for you to take it. He stands you up, immediately picking you up bridal style as he looks at you and smiles. “Let’s go back to your hut, my love.” He says and you nod your head as you lay down on his chest while wrapping your arms around his neck.

He walks back to your hut with you in his arms, laying you on your cot before getting in between your legs, accidentally bumping your queues and causing them to disconnect. A groan escapes your lips at the loss of feeling and he chuckles. “I know, baby. But you’re about to feel something else.” He flashes a smirk at you and you laugh before rolling your eyes. He leans back in and kisses you once again, easily slipping his tongue in your mouth as he softly strokes your hair. He breaks the kiss and begins to kiss down your neck as you breathe out.

“Lo..” you moan and he hums in response. “I’ve never done this before. Not as a human either.” You confess to him and he comes back up to look into your eyes. “Duh. I could’ve told you that, yawne. I’ll be gentle and careful, if you want me to stop, just tell me ok?” He says and you nod your head before he begins to kiss you again. You feel his hand stroll down your body, your skin feels on fire everywhere that he touches, until he reaches your clothed pussy. He softly rubs his fingers in circles and you moan into his mouth at the feeling.

“Is it ok if I take this off? I have to get you ready before I do anything else.” He asks for your permission and you nod your head in agreement as you feel the heat increasing between your legs. He unties the string to your loincloth, you both watch as it falls off of your waist and you lift up for him to pull it the rest of the way off before he tosses it next to your cot, on the ground. He crouches down in between your legs as he opens them a little wider and begins to rub circles around your clit with his thumb, your back arching off of your cot as your mouth hangs open. He stops his movement, bringing two of his fingers to your lips while he kisses your thighs before speaking.

“Suck.” He commands and you obey as you open your mouth, sticking your tongue out for him to slip his fingers into your mouth and you suck them as your eyes bore into his beautiful golden yellow eyes. “Good girl.” He says as he takes his fingers out of your mouth and brings them back down in between your legs. “This might sting a little bit, but it’s getting you ready. If it is too much, tell me to stop.” He says and you nod your head in agreeance as you feel his fingers enter you, causing you to push your legs closer together from the discomfort, but your body relaxes more as you look down to find him staring at you with love in his eyes, your legs slowly relaxing and falling back down.

He continues to push them inside of you until they are completely in. He moves his fingers in and out slowly and you moan out as you feel your own lubrication consuming his fingers. “Lo’ak.. t-that feels really good.” You moan out, gripping the sides of the cot. He keeps going for a little bit longer as you hear how wet you are, that being the only noise in the room. “I-I think I’m going to..” your words are abruptly interrupted when the feeling goes away as he pulls his fingers out of you, earning a groan from you. “Why did you stop, you idiot?!” You yell out as he sits up, smirking and taking his fingers into his mouth before moaning. “I’ve got you exactly where I want you. And you taste good.” A moan escaping your throat as you feel yourself throbbing around nothing while he unties his own loincloth and throws it on top of yours.

His long dick springs out, hitting his stomach, your eyes widening at the sight. “Oh Lo‘ak, I don’t know if I can take that.” You protest as you back up a little bit, but he pulls you back down by your thighs. “You can take it my love. I’ll go slow and if it’s too much, I’ll stop.” He reassures you as he places his hand above your head and lines himself up with your entrance. “Like I said with my fingers, this is going to hurt at first, but it is going to feel really good once you get past that ok? Just trust me. I’m gonna make you feel good, I promise.” He says as he kisses you one more time before slowly pushing himself into you.

You yell out as your hand flies up to his lower torso, looking down to see that only half of it is completely in. He stops pushing himself in to give you a break as he grabs your hand as he brings it up to his lips to kiss the back of it before intertwining your fingers together. “You’re doing so good, my love. Just a little bit more left ok? The pain will be over soon.” He says as he pushes a little bit further while your back arches off of the cot once again, groaning in pain.

“I’m all the way in. Tell me when you want me to move.” He says planting soft kisses all over your face, leading to your neck where he softly sucks and bites at the sensitive skin. “Move Lo.. please.” You give him permission to move and he nods his head as he pulls out of you halfway, earning moans from both of you as he pushes himself all the way back in.

“Mmm.” You moan out, causing him to look at you and smile. “Did that feel good?” He asks you. “Yes. Keep going please.” You say to him, your hand gently caressing his face. He continues his slow pace making you a moaning mess underneath him. “Lo’ak.. go a little bit faster.” You bat your eyes at him while you wrap your legs around his waist. He speeds up his pace as he groans into your neck. “You feel so fucking good around me. I love watching you go crazy over my Dick, wanting and needing more.” He growls in your ear as he places his hand on your waist before slamming you down on him, you buck your hips as you scream out, knowing that your voice will be gone by tomorrow. He looks into your eyes before licking his lips.

“When do you want to start a family?” He asks you while you pant out of control. “Now… R-Right now.” You manage to breathe out in between pants, tilting your head back while your eyes begin to roll to the back of your head. “Are you sure, my love?” You simply nod your head, not able to form full sentences. “Look at me.” He demands, you tilt your head back to look at him while he moans softly.

“Whose pussy is this? Hm?” His thrusts get harder with each word that escapes his lips. “It’s yours.” You pant out softly, barely audible. “I can’t hear you princess. I said, whose. Pussy. Is. This?” He repeats his question once again, your hips smacking together forcefully with every word. Your legs begin to shake uncontrollably as you let out a high pitched moan each time. “I said it’s your Lo’ak! It’s all yours, every part of me belongs to you!” You scream out as you hear him chuckle. “Good girl. I'm not pulling out of you. I’m going to fill you up with my cum.” He says as he grabs your weak hand and places it on your lower stomach.

“I’m going to fill you up right here and give you my child.” You can barely keep your head up and your eyes open as you feel yourself coming closer just off of his words. “I-I’m going to cum Lo’ak.” You tell him as you feel your body shaking. “So am I, princess. Wait, don’t cum yet.” He says as he grabs his queue once again, you observe him and lift up a little to grab yours as well. “This will make it feel a lot more intense.”

You connect your queues to each other and moan in unison as the feeling intensifies. “Now. Let go for me baby. Cum all over my dick.” You feel your body letting go at his words, your fingernails scratching at his toned stomach while your orgasm washes over you. You feel him stop his movement as he groans and curses while he throws his head back, cumming inside of you as you feel his hard dick throbbing. You both breathe out heavily as you finish riding out your highs and attempting to catch your breath.

Lo’ak looks back down to you, a proud smile plastered on his face as you smile with him before he leans down once again to kiss you. He slowly pulls out of you, causing you both to inhale sharply at the feeling. Your queues are still connected to each other as he lazily plops down next to you. You turn around to face him as you lean in and give him a soft peck on his lips before speaking.

“We’re mated Lo’ak.” You say, excitement exerting your tone as you rub his face and he laughs. “We are mated and you might have a little surprise in a few weeks. I just gave you three of the best gifts in one night. I’m amazing, aren’t I?” He brags on himself as he places his hand on your stomach and rubs it softly, earning a laugh from you while you roll your eyes.

“I promise to be different for you and for our family. I am so sorry that I didn’t realize just how amazing you were before I lost you. I love you more than anything that I thought could ever be possible.” He once again confesses his love for you before he brings his lips to yours and you wrap your arm around his neck, pulling him in closer to you.

You give his forehead a kiss before you flip over and lay facing the opposite direction of him, backing yourself completely up against his warm body as you feel yourself getting sleepy. His long arm reaches over your body, landing around your waist as he pulls you even closer until your bodies are completely embezzled together. He peaks to look at your face one more time before he nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck. “I can’t believe my dick put you to sleep.” He says as he laughs and you roll your heavy eyes. “Shut up and let’s go to bed, skxawng!” You say to him as he laughs, as you both lay cuddled up together, drifting off to sleep in each other's arms.

A/N: Lo’ak being a simp is literally so adorable to me 😭 anywho, I hope you guys loves it!!! 💖 if you guys have any requests, don’t be afraid to let me know and I would be more than happy to do them!

[obxsummer]

Dreamcatcher // JJ Maybank

pairing: jj maybank x gn!reader

request: “I broke the lock. You were screaming.” and ❛ promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up. ❜ with jj? gn!reader has been having nightmares every night since the treasure hunting started, and its the first night back in obx after poguelandia and they have a really bad one, and jj is there to help? of course, only write it if you want to, your writing is beautiful! lots of love <3

warnings: nightmares, creepy wound descriptions

a/n: y'all i have no idea why the links are going to the browser the way they are but I'm hoping tumble fixes itself here soon

navigation

#obx3celebration

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Your time in Poguelandia was hard. Learning how to survive off the island around you was rewarding, but also terrifying. What if you ate something poisonous or someone got seriously injured? Each day got a little bit easier than the one before but you couldn’t lie and say it was a vacation. 

You were glad to be back in the OBX. Although it sucked living back here on your own, it was nice to be back in your bed and to know what exactly you were surrounding yourself with. JJ followed along with you after coming back to an eviction notice on his door. You were more than happy to offer up the extra room in your home, grateful to not have an empty house. 

You’d grown up alongside Sarah Cameron and the Kooks, easily becoming one of her best friends over the years. Eventually, you were dragged into the chaos and solidified your Pogue friendship with Kie, JJ, Pope, and John B. They were your best friends, your steady pillars in a rocky world. Of course, jumping off a boat in the middle of the ocean wasn’t on your bucket list, but you’d do anything for them.

Nothing brought people together better than trauma bonding, of course. In the past month, you and JJ slowly inched closer. Both of you had nobody to return home to and nowhere to be. He was lost and you were broken; two puzzle pieces that oddly fit together. 

JJ was crashing in the guest bedroom, having showered and fallen asleep quickly after the two of you got dropped off. You took your time to get to bed, knowing as soon as you sat on the mattress, you’d be out for hours. 

You didn’t know where your parents were, opting that maybe they never even knew you were gone in the first place. You were quick to find a spare phone and get it set back up in case the Pogues reached out with any news. 

The dark and quiet of your room was intimidating as you lay there on your back. You were so used to the crackle of a dying fire, or one of your friends snoring. The moon almost always cast a light around you as well and the sound of the moving ocean was calming. 

It wasn’t obvious when the dark of your ceiling turned into the dark of your dreams but suddenly, you were back on that island. The sky was black above you with flashes of light from a nearing storm. Turning around, you quickly realized you were alone. You tried not to resort straight to panic but it was hard to do, especially here of all places.

Your feet moved quickly through the terrain as you attempted to make your way back to where you knew your camp was set up. “JJ? Sarah! Hello? Anyone!” Your voice was scratchy as you yelled in hopes that someone would hear you and call back.

Fear bubbled in your chest when you couldn’t find camp. Everything was gone; Sarah’s woven baskets, the fire JJ had built, all of the food you’d surfaced, everything. Everyone.

“Someone! Hello!” You spun towards the open water, the liquid black with the night. You were stranded by yourself, with no way home. No friends to help you. “Help, please!”

“Looking for someone?” The voice of Ward Cameron grabbed your attention instantly. He faded into view, covered in blood, and looked like he meant revenge. “They’re all dead. You killed them.”

“What are you talking about?” You mumbled in confusion. Your eyes dropped to your own hands that were covered in dark red, the liquid practically dripping off your fingers. “Where are they?”

“You’re the reason we’re dead, Y/N.” A hand landed on your shoulder and forced you to spin. John B’s figure was standing in front of you with a noticeable bullet wound in his chest. Blood seeped through his shirt as Sarah walked up behind him with a similar wound in her hip. 

You shook your head drastically, choking on the air in your throat at the sight of them. “No, no it wasn’t me! I-I don’t even-”

“We told you you weren’t cut out for this,” Kiara’s voice interrupted your desperate pleas as she moved into your vision. “You didn’t pull me out of the airplane, Y/N. Why didn’t you pull me out?”

“Stop!” You sobbed as you backed up to put distance between the three of them. This couldn’t be real. You swore you’d never let anything happen to any of the Pogues.

A sickening laugh came from next to you where Cleo and Pope were standing. Their clothing was smoking, almost ashy in nature. “It’s real,” Pope snapped to confirm your thoughts. “You didn’t save us. You said you would save us from the fire.”

Your body heaved at the sight of all of them, so damaged and lifelike in front of you. “No! I wouldn’t have let anything happen I-”

“You caused all of it.” JJ was suddenly right in front of you, bruises littering his body as blood smeared from open wounds. “You watched as my dad ended my life. Didn’t even move, didn’t flinch. You watched all of us die, Y/N, and you didn’t even try to stop it.”

“Now it’s time for us to bring you with us.” Kie’s grin was devilish as they all surrounded you. “Actions have consequences.”

“Y/N! Y/N, wake the hell up!”

You gasped air into your lungs and sat up sharply as the vision faded to nothing. You blinked tears from your eyes and folded over to get oxygen back into your body. Someone’s hand was warm on your back as they rubbed comforting circles.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” JJ’s voice sent chills down your spine. It was a stark contrast to the vicious, cruel tone you’d witnessed just seconds ago. “Just breathe. I gotcha.”

It took a moment before you could sit back up. You had become too aware of how cold your body was, no doubt from the sweat of whatever nightmare you’d just lived through. “What…What happened?”

“I broke the lock,” JJ admitted as you collapsed into his side and shivered. He cradled you against him tightly. “You were screaming.”

“Sorry, bad dream,” You apologized roughly. Your fingers were clenching the comforter harshly. It felt too real like he would disappear from beneath you in a split second and you’d be facing the consequences of something you caused. 

JJ could feel you shaking in his arms. He’d barely gotten any sleep himself, so the second you cried out he came flying. It was hard not to assume the worst automatically. He’d watched you put on a brave face for so long and a break was inevitable at some point. He just didn’t expect you to scream the way you did. He didn’t hesitate to kick your bedroom door in and run to your side.  

“Do you wanna talk about it?” The question was soft and felt optional for you to agree to. 

You shrugged in his grasp, mumbling a thank you when he handed you the water from your nightstand. Nightmares like this had been happening for a while, ever since the treasure hunting started really. You’d dreamt through most of your memories but through a horrific lens instead. The only person you ever told was Pope, who had told you of similar instances himself. You guys went from being kids who fucked around for fun to life-and-death situations around every corner. 

 “It’s just like…ever since we started looking for the gold, these nightmares have gotten worse and worse. The scary part is they’re all very possible of being true. Of you guys getting hurt or-or worse? And I can’t even stop it, I’m just forced to watch it all unfold until I lose every single one of you.”

JJ was quiet as he listened to you speak. The wavering in your voice as you recounted what you’d seen made him even more upset that you’d dealt with this for so long. It was no secret your friend group got up to mischievous plans, but to know that it was at the point where you lost sleep over the idea of not having them was heartbreaking. 

“It’s all over now,” JJ reassured as his thumb brushed at your cheeks. “Promise. Nothin’s gonna happen to any of us. I wouldn’t let it.”

His words didn’t bring as much comfort as you would’ve liked. Nothing ever really did until you saw each of your friends in front of you and were able to hug them. That’s the only way it ever felt real like the bad dreams were nothing compared to having them around you. 

Your phone flashed 4:22 am back in your direction as you skimmed the notifications. You’d have to wait until it was acceptable to call everyone or gather them up to see them. You let out a defeated sigh, “Thanks, J. You didn’t have to come in.”

“Course I did. Gotta make sure you’re safe,” His response brought a smile to your face as you finally pulled out of his embrace. “Do…Do you want me to stay?”

You took a second to consider his offer before shaking your head and moving away from him. “I’m probably gonna stay awake and I don’t want you to have to-”

“Y/N.” JJ grabbed your hand to pull your attention back to him. “Just answer the question.”

You stared at him for a moment, your teeth digging into the skin on the inside of your lip before you nodded in response. JJ didn’t hesitate to wiggle under your sheets. He was a heavy sleeper so it would likely be easy for him to slip back into a peaceful slumber while you tossed and turned the rest of the night.

“Lay down before I drag you to sleep myself,” His voice was raspy as his fingers tugged against your t-shirt until you gave in and shuffled down next to him. JJ’s hand was warm as it reached across your frame to grab your right him to pull you closer until your chest was against his. “Just try, I gotcha.”

You adjusted so your head rest against his chest, fingers brushing his shirtless side before you settled in. Your busted doorframe could be fixed in the morning. You couldn’t hide the fact that you were still exhausted and JJ’s warmth was taking over as you listened to his steady breathing fill your surroundings. 

“Promise you’ll be here in the morning?” You whispered shyly. Part of you hoped that was enough nightmares for the night but you didn’t wanna jinx yourself.

JJ’s blue eyes blinked open as a small smile formed across his face. His arm moved until his fingers grabbed yours from his side so he could hold them closer. If this was how you had to spend every night from here on out to keep the bad dreams away, he’d chase them until he couldn’t anymore. He’d do anything to make sure you were okay.

“Gonna be right here when you open your eyes. Promise.”

--

navigation

[huntfeld]

Between Shadows and Silent Hills

Pairing: Angela Orosco x Fem!Reader

Summary: In Silent Hill, Reader sees terrifying creatures that Angela can’t. Despite Angela’s confusion, they form a quiet bond, facing the town’s darkness together and promising to protect each other.

@fallenvervain hope you like it. enjoy! :)

———

Silent Hill lay before you, its streets shrouded in thick fog and a silence that felt somehow too loud. Each footfall was swallowed by the mist, yet every shadow seemed to pulse with life. You'd been in tough spots before — your muscles were a testament to the years spent honing yourself, fighting your way through hardships you’d rather forget. But Silent Hill was different. Here, the fight felt personal, like the town itself was watching, waiting for a reason to tear you apart.

Beside you, Angela clung to herself, arms wrapped tightly around her thin frame. You could see the lines of worry and pain etched deep into her face, but when you looked into her eyes, it was like looking into a mirror that reflected not just fear, but something broken. She’d been through her own battles, battles you couldn’t see but could feel in the way she kept her shoulders hunched, gaze darting to shadows that seemed to bleed out of her mind more than the mist.

Your guard was up, senses hyper-attuned, when you spotted the first one — a figure crawling low to the ground, all limbs and jagged movements, its skin a twisted lattice of wounds. Without hesitating, you raised your weapon and fired. The sound tore through the fog.

Angela flinched, her head whipping around to you, eyes wide with confusion and fear. “What—what are you shooting at?” she asked, her voice trembling as she backed up, wary.

You kept your eyes locked on the creature, but it was gone, like it had melted back into the mist. “There was something there. It came out of the alley.” You pointed to the place it had been, flexing your fingers as you lowered your gun. The lingering adrenaline made you tense, like you could face ten more of those things if you had to.

Angela just shook her head slowly. “I didn’t… I don’t see anything,” she whispered, brows furrowed as if you were suddenly more frightening than the fog around her. "Are you seeing something different?"

“Maybe.” You glanced down at your hands, the strong, scarred hands that had pulled you through plenty of dark places, but this felt different. “Silent Hill — I’ve heard it shows people things. Personal things. The monsters, the… the nightmares. They’re different for everyone.”

Angela’s gaze dropped, her arms tightening around herself as she looked away. “Then… what are you seeing?” She sounded small, vulnerable in a way that made your chest ache. She clearly had her own ghosts, ones she might not be ready to face. But still, she didn’t walk away, even as you tried to put words to the horrors you were seeing.

You swallowed, lowering your voice. “It’s hard to explain. They’re like… people, but broken. Twisted bodies. Faces, sometimes. Ones I know.” You hesitated, wondering how much you should say. “It’s like something wants me to remember. Or to pay for something.”

Angela nodded, her eyes dark and shadowed as if she understood all too well. Her fingers dug into her arms, nails pressed hard enough to leave marks. “I think… this town, it pulls things out of people. Things we try to forget.” She glanced up at you, her gaze both hesitant and probing. “Why are you… I mean, what’s keeping you here?”

The question caught you off-guard, but you shrugged, the tension making your muscles flex instinctively, like your body was primed for another fight. “I came here for someone. Someone I lost a long time ago.” Your eyes softened as you looked at her, and you almost let down your guard before you felt something lurch out of the shadows again.

This time, it was a grotesque figure, thin and tall with arms stretching down to the ground, the fingers like clawed, skeletal branches reaching out for you. It was wearing an expression, almost mocking in its familiarity — it looked like someone you’d failed before. Heart pounding, you took aim and shot twice, the figure reeling back before dissipating into the mist.

Angela gasped, taking a step back, her hand going up to her mouth. She blinked, looking at you as if waiting for an explanation.

You let out a shaky breath, lowering the gun. “I told you,” you said, voice a bit quieter now. “I’m seeing things. My things.”

Angela looked at you for a long time, the fog swirling around you both as she took in your tense stance, the fierce set of your jaw, the strength of your body — like you were made to face these monsters head-on. “I can’t… I can’t see them,” she whispered, almost apologetic. “But maybe that’s a good thing.”

You stepped closer to her, letting your broad shoulders block some of the fog around her. “Maybe. But if they’re not coming after you, I’ll make sure they don’t get to you. You don’t have to see them to know they’re here.”

For a moment, Angela’s hand reached out, hovering near your arm before she finally placed it there, her fingers brushing over the solid muscle, grounding herself. She seemed comforted by the strength you carried, as if she knew that it could keep the shadows at bay.

“I don’t know why you’re helping me,” she murmured. Her eyes were full of memories, each one a wound that hadn’t healed, and in her gaze, you saw a hint of admiration, of wonder at how you could face the things she couldn’t see. But maybe, to her, your presence was a reminder that she didn’t have to face them alone.

You gave her a small, reassuring smile, even as you kept an eye on the darkness around you. “Because no one should have to go through this alone.” And in that moment, despite the horrors that lurked beyond your vision, you both found a quiet understanding — a promise to keep each other from being swallowed whole by the shadows that lingered in Silent Hill.

———

[yourfavoritewitchbitch]

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Steve Harrington x Reader Blurb

For those that like it a little angsty!

Warnings: Smut. Angst. Allusions to infidelity. Reader with a vagina.

WC: 795

18+ Only!

You're laid on your back, flush against the soft, fluffy pillows of your bed. Steve's head is buried in the crook of your neck, switching between soft kisses to your jaw or bared throat. Releasing broken moans, he can't seem to hold back.

His chest is pressed tightly to yours, holding himself up on his forearm but slowly sinking down the longer you two go at it pushing you further into the mattress. You welcome his added weight.

His free hand is holding yours, fingers intertwined above your head, clinging to each other.

Breathy moans leave your lips with each drag of his thick cock against your inner walls, splitting you open in the most delicious way, as his hips languidly move against yours. His tip brushing that sweet spot within you with each pass.

Your head is already dizzy, all thoughts on him and how good he could make you feel. Making sure you came at least twice on his tongue already.

“Hey, honey, you still with me?” His nose nudged yours, gaining your attention as you opened your eyes to see those familiar hazel ones flecked with green and gold staring back at you.

“Mmmhmmm… I'm here Stevie.” You sigh as he continued his lazy thrusts with your legs locked firmly around his waist.

“There she is. Looked a little lost there.” He looked down at you with a self-satisfied grin.

“Just lost in you, handsome.” You smiled.

He presses his lips to yours, releasing his grip on your hand to cradle your jaw as your hand found its way to the nape of his neck, running your fingers through his hair.

You rolled your hips in time to meet his next thrust, earning you another moan. He releases your lips, working his way back down your jaw. Peppering kisses and softly sucking small bruises along the way.

You didn't mind him marking his territory, letting everyone know who you belonged to.

“Stevie?” You breathed out.

“Yeah, Angel?” He replied without looking up, still working his way down your chest.

“I love you.” You hummed, as his eye flitted back up to you.

“I love you too.” He sank back into you, snapping his hips a little more harshly, taking your breath away.

It was the quiet moments in the dark that you shared tangled together, forgetting the world. Only you and him exist at this moment.

“Happy Valentine's Day.” He spoke against your lips, picking up his pace before moving up, pushing your knees to your chest garnering him a better angle to fuck you impossibly deeper.

A tear pricked at the corner of your eye, as you caught sight of the gold band situated on the ring finger of his left hand.

A reminder that even though he spoke the words, he would never truly be yours.

He was only yours in the dark nights you shared together. A few moments of bliss for a lifetime of heartache.

His large palms pressed behind your knees, letting his cock punch the air from your lungs with each thrust as those little uh, uh, uhs were escaping you, clouding your mind all over again.

“That's it honey, I wanna hear you. Let me know how good I'm fucking you.”

“Steve… fuck… I need…” you moaned out once more.

“You need this?” He said, as his thumb began drawing circles to your puffy clit, making you jolt.

“Yes! God yes! Please Steve!” That coil in your belly wound tighter. You'd hope it wouldn't happen so fast, you could prolong your pleasure and keep him here just a little longer.

“Come on, angel. Come f’me. Give it t’me.” His words only igniting that fire deep within you. He seemed to always time it perfectly. He knew your body like the back of his hand.

While that coil snapped, it only took a few more thrusts of his own before he was painting your walls with thick ropes of his cum. Your pussy clamping down around him, effectively milking every last drop he had to give.

He collapsed forward, his head finding its place in the crook of your neck once more. His weight crushing you in the best possible way, letting you both regain composure and letting your breathing return to normal.

He made no attempt to remove himself. Allowing his cock to soften, as you felt his release slowly seeping out and onto the sheets below your thighs.

You knew he couldn't stay. He'd go back home to her.

These small joys granted to you were becoming fewer as time passed. So, you cherished all the time you had.

You rubbed patterns on his back with your fingertips, humming softly. If only for a few more moments, you were his and he was yours.

[joe-spookyy]

asks you about american werewolf in london

hoooly shit it’s finally happened. someone asked me The question. thanks anon.

i am now going to try and sell you all on this movie cause i can’t recommend it enough and i think everyone should watch it. so: let me tell you a thing or two about hit 1981 horror comedy an american werewolf in london!!! and this is off the top of my head so if any of it is slightly off numbers wise im sorry. if you like 80s horror, men, queercoding, re-animator, the thing, jaws, saw, the lost boys, or just werewolves in general. hear me out on this one. link included to watch.

The Premise:

fresh off the heels of his cocaine fueled jazz musical masterpiece The Blues Brothers (1980), director john landis decided he was going to cook up the greatest film ever made. and he did. he was actually gonna have john belushi (jake blues) and dan akyroyd (elwood blues and yes the ghostbuster) play the two main characters, david kessler and jack goodman. now, who are these fellas? well i’m so glad you asked. david (played by david naughton) and jack (played by griffin dunne) are two dear pals from new york on a cute little backpacking trip across europe. david's the tall one. he's silly and gleeful to be out and about. jack is the short one. he's very much not gleeful about the fact that they're on the rainy moors and wishes they were in rome. together they find their way to a cute little pub and go inside, looking for hot drinks. the locals do not love this. they also do not love when jack asks them why there's a five pointed star on the wall (since lon chaney and universal studios assert that that's the mark of the wolfman!) it gets awkward. so they leave, with nothing but the warning to stay off the moors, stick to the roads, and beware of the moon. obviously, they do not follow this. wouldn't make for a very interesting movie if they did. and, as i'm sure you've assumed, they encounter a werewolf, leaving jack like this (dead):

and david, who survived the attack, with the curse of the werewolf. but fear not! david is transported to a hospital where he makes a lovely recovery, and jack um. well he stays dead. but he comes back to haunt david! he shows up a few more times in further states of decay to tell david that he really ought to just kill himself so that the curse is broken, jack and all the other werewolf victims can rest in peace, and david won't accidentally maul any additional civilians as a werewolf. hey while we're talking about jack heres me when i dressed up as him at a horror con. and the man himself.

anyways. hijinks ensue, and you're taken on a delightful romp across 97 minutes of fun as david tries to navigate life as... you guessed it. AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON!

why it rules:

in my opinion, that's enough to make this movie flames as fuck. but if you're not convinced yet? let me tell you some more. first off. the practical effects on this bad boy are straight up excellent. they're done by my personal favorite vfx artist rick baker (who also worked on star wars, men in black, videodrome, king kong and more!), and he does not hold back. the picture of jack shows how nasty and detailed the wound is pretty well, but in action it's even better with all the nasty fleshy bits dangling and wiggling and eugh. it's gross. but it's so well done. and he does a terrific job showing how jack decays throughout the rest of the movie. but of course, what really matters is the werewolf. it's not called an american dead guy in london. which is good. cause that would be a dumb name for a movie. anyways. if we’re going to talk about the werewolf, we have to start with the iconic transformation scene. sped up.

wow! pretty impressive stuff right? it’s all practical, no cgi, and i think the way it’s almost drawn out and the relative silence of the scene adds to the impact it has, since it sort of forces the audience to sit with and feel just a little bit of the discomfort that david seems to be feeling. we just have to watch him scream in pain and beg for mercy. yeesh. now, the transformation scene is hard to top. but i think the final werewolf design is actually pretty solid. it’s distinctly not man, but it’s also distinctly not wolf. i would include a picture, but i feel like part of the allure of the film is how it (jaws style) doesn’t really let you get a good look at the monster itself until the end of the movie. it’s a great way to build the tension and leave a little bit up to the audience’s interpretation. and the audience will always imagine something way more horrible than you could have ever created. which is kind of beautiful. the first time i watched, i found myself kind of disappointed in the werewolf’s appearance - its face seemed to be stuck in a sort of permanent scowl. i was kind of lost, because i couldn’t imagine why a static face had won out over whatever the vfx team was clearly capable of making. but Oh. dear reader. when nurse alex price, david’s dear love, who cared for him in the hospital, allowed him to live with her, and even banged him, approaches the wolf. when she tells david she loves him. the wolf’s eyes soften. it begins to drop the snarl. see. i lied here’s part of the wolf. all snarly like and scary. before it melts at three simple words from alex. god.

it hits me like a huge truck every single time. rick baker never misses and this movie was certainly not an exception. he got an academy award for it and it was well deserved.

not so into the technical stuff? that’s okay. i have more to praise about this movie. it is one of the best blends of horror and comedy that i’ve ever encountered. although some of it looks a little dated, i do think it maintains its fear factor. it’s plenty gory, and in my humble opinion, the subway scene (you’ll know it when you see it) is one of the most effective bits of horror i’ve ever encountered. even when isolated from the film, it still packs a punch. but i’m not gonna put it here because i want you to just watch it with the rest of the movie. sorry. and on top of the horror, it’s honestly hilarious. if you don’t think seven dead people ganging up on one dude and listing ways he should kill himself in the middle of a porn theater while a porno plays very loudly in the background. well. i don’t know what to tell you. you probably won’t like this movie that much. also, the final needle drop over the credits at the end is so abrupt and so funny. love it.

and of course, being an 80s horror movie with two male leads. i’m sure you can guess what i’m going to say. it is not hard to read jack and david as friends, but it’s also not very difficult to read them as having a little something going on. like love. fellas is it gay to go on a little trip across england with just yoh and your best bro? hard to say. textually, i do think it’s kind of telling that every time jack shows up, it’s either right after or while david is having a heterosexual experience (flirting with alex, banging alex, watching straight porn in the porn theater.) it’s almost like… something other than jack… is haunting david. i dunno. i’m not a cop. but it’s interesting. seems like something the average tumblr user might like to keep an eye on, so i’m letting you know. also they have a conversation while david is completely naked which is like. hello. plus the inherent queerness of the werewolf narrative is something i could talk about for HOURS and was especially prevalent, alongside vampire movies. in the 80s during the aids crisis. my short essay on this ⬇️

also, there’s a classic john landis third act car crash scene, where, in the same vein as the blues brothers, an obscene amount of cars are absolutely demolished.

also also, the muppets make a brief appearance in this movie. this made me jump for joy, because i love the muppets. and you should too.

fun and true facts

still not sold? well, check out this last ditch effort in the form of fun facts. or, if you just want to know more, read on.

micheal jackson was so impressed by the effects in this movie, particularly the transformation scene, that after seeing it, he promptly hired rock baker (vfx guy) and john landis (director guy) to work on the music video for his hit song thriller. you’ve probably seen it, but if not, go watch it. tbh, even if you have seen it before, go watch it again.

david naughton was a doctor pepper spokesman before the filming of this movie. he was in at least a few bits of promotional material, including at least one commercial. unfortunately he lost the job because of the amount of time he spent dick out in this movie. doctor pepper did not want that to be the representation of their brand. cowards, the lot of them.

speaking of his dick, you actually never fully see it at any point in the movie despite the fact that it seems they never felt like telling david to wear pants on set. there is a reason for this! david (character) is jewish and canonically circumcised (dunno how else to put it) and david (actor) is neither of these things. so, to avoid ruining the realism in his. werewolf movie. john landis took great care to never show the whole thing.

the american ambassador who visits david in the hospital is played by frank oz, who also voices miss piggy. because of her brief cameo, he technically plays two different roles in this movie, although miss piggy is simply credited as “Herself” in the end credits of the movie. he also voices yoda which isn’t relevant but it is really funny to me.

see you next wednesday, which is the name of the porno in the movie, is actually a fun john landis easter egg! many of his movies include the phrase “see you next wednesday.” it’s also seen on posters in the subway scene.

in the scene where jack first visits david in the hospital, he was supposed to take a bite of david’s toast, after which it would immediately fall out of his ruined and torn to shreds throat. however, it was cut for being too gross. which is sad i feel like it could have been funny.

when david calls home to talk to his parents, he mentions two siblings: rachel and max. these are the names of the directors children in real life.

griffin dunne, who plays jack, also appears as the family therapist in a season 2 episode of succession. this was a jumpscare.

while they were filming the naked in the zoo scenes, they were unable to actually close the zoo, so when filming carried on past the opening time of the park, they just kept going and allowed butt naked david naughton to run loose around the zoo. they did, however, succeed in closing piccadilly circus for the car crash scene.

in the beginning when jack is being attacked by the werewolf, it was in fact half a wolf prop on the front of a wheelbarrow. this is a very funny vision for me.

jack is right - the five pointed star is considered the mark of the wolfman, according to 1941’s The Wolf Man, played by lon chaney junior and produced by universal pictures. the guy knows his stuff. interestingly, rick baker did the makeup for the 2010 remake of the wolf man as well. he did pretty good, i think.

this isn’t even about this movie but blues brothers is an awesome film too and a fun fact about that one is there was a whole part of the budget devoted to buying cocaine. and you can tell. great movie.

director john landis did in fact kill three people the year after this movie came out. so. i do feel a little bad promoting it because jesus christ. but. no harm no foul in pirating it. it’s one easy internet archive search away. and sometimes it’s on tubi. but just in case, here’s the internet archive link. https://archive.org/details/an-american-werewolf-in-london

so. anyways. please check out this baller ass movie and talk to me about it. thank you so much to whoever asked this. i love you. thanks for reading. bye.

[a-killer-obsession]

Wavelengths [Killer x Reader, Heat x Reader]

🔞 Minors DNI 🔞

A search for a rumored Vegapunk weapon leads the Kid Pirates to an unexpected new crewmate, with a bloodlust that rivals their own and an incredible power.

CW: Please check AO3 for all current warnings, but general warning for smut, slow burn, serious gore, and really dark themes. AFAB reader, she/her pronouns.

Masterlist || AO3 || Chapter 1

Chapter 25 - Respect

The henchmen take advantage of your vulnerability now that your mask is broken, and there is hell to pay.

WC: ~6k

Taglist: @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @iggy5055

“Well, it’s not great,” Kid started. You let out a long groan and flopped dramatically over the couch in Kid’s workshop where you’d been sitting with Killer while Kid examined the damage on your mask. “Would you let me fucking finish girl?” Kid growled.

You sat back up expectantly, and Killer pulled you to sit in his lap. You were incredibly tense and stressed, for good reason, so he rubbed your shoulders. You sighed a little as his warm hands worked through the knots in your tightly wound muscles.

“I was going to say,” Kid continued, “that it’s fixable, I think. The metal and electronics I can deal with myself, but whatever this weird polymer glass the visor is made out of will need a specialist glassworker, I can’t do that bit myself. Do you have the other shard?”

“It’s probably under my bed,” Killer hummed. Kid raised an eyebrow and wiggled it suggestively. “Fuck off, Kid” Killer rolled his eyes. He wasn’t wearing his mask, so it was clear for Kid to see his agitation.

“Just surprised is all,” Kid replied with a sly grin, “thought you two were ‘taking your time’ or whatever”

“We are taking our time,” Killer huffed, “Doesn’t mean we can’t spend the night together. It’s none of your business anyway but people can do things in a bed other than just mindless fucking”

“Can we get back to the mask please?” you shifted nervously.

“Sorry princess,” Killer replied, giving you a chaste kiss on the cheek and wrapping his arms around your waist. Kid made a mock gagging sound.

“Ooooh~ Princess~” he repeated back in a forced high pitch, “You two are disgusting.” Killer just scoffed in reply and buried his face in your shoulder. Kid turned back to his workbench and examined the visor closely again. “I’m not sure how Vegapunk made this glass, it’s mixed with something I’m not familiar with, but I’m fairly sure if I make a mould and knock the rest out that a glassworker can melt it back together and reshape it. It’ll probably be a little shorter than before, given the material that’ll be lost in processing and that there’s probably smaller unsalvageable shards in the carpet, but it should still cover your eyes”

“That’s all I need anyway,” you replied hopefully.

“If I remember correctly, I think I saw a glassworker on the island we’re heading back to,” Kid furrowed his brows in thought, “We’ll be there for five days, should be plenty of time to fix it. I’ll need to grab some extra things too for my part but it should be fixed by the time we set off again”

You groaned and flopped again, covering your face with your hands, “That’s eight days away, what the fuck am I suppose to do for eight days without my mask?”

“Use a sword like everyone else, lazy ass,” Kid scoffed, “We know the area between here and there is fairly unoccupied so we shouldn’t get into trouble, don’t get your panties in a twist”

“I’ll twist your fucking panties,” you mumbled under your breath as you stood, pulling Killer up with you and handing him his mask. “I want a snack”

“But you just ate,” he pouted. You turned and gave him your best puppy dog eyes. “Fineeee,” he sighed in defeat and followed you out of the workshop.

Things were frustratingly mundane for the next two days, you never realised how much you’d started using your powers regularly for small things till you couldn’t use them anymore. You felt like a grounded child, and you stomped around the ship pouting and voicing your annoyance to anyone who would listen, mostly captive audiences caught in the middle of a chore. On top of it, your nausea hadn’t faded, and you were starting to worry you were coming down with something. Mohawk gave you a once over, but you didn’t have a cough or fever yet, so he was fine letting you continue to mingle with the others, you didn’t seem contagious. He agreed with your reasoning that you must have eaten something a little undercooked at the feast, given the hurried nature of the preparation, and it would likely pass in a few days. He gave you nausea meds in the meantime, which helped for the most part.

You stayed with Killer again, but neither of you attempted anything further than making out and some light groping. You weren’t really in the mood anyway, given your stress right now, but it was a nice distraction. You felt unbearably anxious about the mask situation, Kid’s comment about the glass had you on edge that a glassworker might not even be able to mould it, given it was some sort of special mix. What if it wasn’t done properly and just kept shattering? What if reprocessing it ruined the special properties and it no longer filtered light correctly? You had no idea how it was originally made so you had no way of knowing if there was some special technique they needed to use for the glass. Killer could sense your stress, so he forced you to take a bath to relax. He set up floral smelling bubbles and candles and soothing music playing on a low volume, and you’d convinced him to join you. It had helped temporarily, but you were just as stressed again the next day when you woke up and reached for your mask, forgetting it wouldn’t be there.

Then there was the henchmen. The first day, nobody took note of your lack of mask. The commanders and officers had been filled in, in case something happened, so they knew not to rely on your powers if something happened, but the henchmen just assumed for the most part that you just didn’t feel like wearing it for the day. On the second day, rumours had spread, and you often caught them sneering at you, sometimes even openly laughing at you. They were probably right to laugh, you were a competent, fast, agile fighter without your powers, but when it came to serious fights you relied heavily on your fruit. You may have trained with the marines your entire teens, but you were rusty and out of practice with traditional fighting. Your role on the ship was as a weapon, without your fruit you were nothing. I mean, there was the nurse thing, but it was barely anything at this stage, you were still learning. You’d long since known that the henchmen hated you, because of the way you earned commander status without working through the ranks for it, and because you never did any chores. They’d accepted it because Kid had told them to, and because your devil fruit made you a powerful ally, but without it you were just some annoying, lazy girl, getting away with shit they’d probably get thrown overboard for. It made you uneasy to feel their eyes on you as you went about your day, so you stuck by Killer as much as you could. Unfortunately though, Killer had the night watch, and you had the watch after, so you couldn’t just hide up in the crows nest with him, you needed to get some sleep. It was another thing that made you feel useless. Without your fruit the others had to completely rearrange the schedule to account for you no longer being suitable for nightwatch. With your fruit you had incredible night vision, without it you wondered whether you actually might need glasses.

He spent the time between dinner and the nightwatch with you in your room, just cuddling and talking about all manner of unimportant things. There was a sense of unease as he left, but you didn’t want to burden the crew any further by making him swap shifts with someone else, so you let him go. At some point you managed to fall asleep, but probably only due to the fact that you could still smell him on your sheets, and his scent gave you great comfort.

You didn’t register that you were awake at first as your ankle was grabbed and you were yanked from your bed. You gave a yelp as your head hit the floor hard, and that finally woke you up. A mass loomed over you, but in the pitch black of the moonless night you couldn’t tell who it was, or how many there were. You reached for your sword but they had already taken the liberty of moving it, so you kicked frantically at the intruder, or intruders. Your other ankle was grabbed, and another shadow moved to pin your wrists. You could see now that there were at least three forms, but you still couldn’t tell who they were. You opened your mouth to let out a scream, but the third man shoved a pair of dirty panties from your laundry hamper in your mouth. You gagged at how deep he shoved them, almost to the point of choking you, and you thrashed wildly as best you could with your ankles and wrists held down.

The third man seemed like the ringleader, and he bent down over you, smacking your face hard and pinching your chin to force you to look at him. He reeked of liquor, and his words slurred as he spoke.

“What happened to your big bad guard dog, whore?” he growled, “You think you’re so much better than us, aye? Stupid little slut, parading around all day, doing fuck all, seducing our commanders so you can get away with whatever the fuck you want” He spat on your face, and you had to shut a eye to keep it from dripping into it. “Not so tough now, are we? Since your pussy is all you’re good for now, how bout you be a good girl and let us get what we’re owed?”

The men holding you flipped you unceremoniously, your nose audibly cracking as it hit the floorboards, and the ringleader forced your ass into the air, pushing up your nightie and tugging your panties down. You were shaking with fear, whimpering around the cloth in your mouth, streaks of tears rolling off your cheeks as you mentally begged any god that would listen to send someone to help.

The ringleader grabbed your hair and pulled it tight, some of the strands ripping from your scalp painfully. “We heard how the marines treated you, and we think it's about time someone reminded you what you're good for. Flitting about all day doing shit all, riding off our success, toying with our commanders like you're one of them. You didn't earn that right, what makes you better than us, huh?” He punched you in the side, then wrapped his hand tight around your neck. You wheezed as you struggled to breathe. “You're nothing but a spoiled whore, nothing but a couple of hot holes to fill.”

You could hear that all too familiar, sickening sound of a pants fly being unzipped, and you felt yourself slipping back into the dark place in your mind. The sound of the door opening behind you barely registered in your mind before something hard and round hit your back and rolled off, landing to your side. You turned and saw a disembodied head, its lifeless eyes staring at you, frozen in shock. It was quickly followed by a second, the head making a thump as it hit the floor hard, the hold on your ankles and wrists suddenly released as two of the men fell dead, and the other attempted to flee. The ringleader’s body fell on to you, and with your now freed hands you pulled the fabric from your mouth and scrambled out from underneath him, climbing on to the bed as you pulled your panties back up, and pushing yourself into the corner so hard you wondered if you might meld with the walls. Blood was gushing from your nose, and you pinched it tight, wincing at the pain. A wide framed man held the third assaulter against the wall by the neck, his feet dangling above the ground. You saw now the long blond mane, and breathed in relief as you realised Killer had come for you. Perhaps there was a god, or perhaps he was that god, Ares made flesh, going to war in your name as he took lives for you without hesitation.

He gripped hard, and you heard the man’s neck crunch as Killer crushed it, the man choking on his last breath before Killer let him fall limp to the floor. He turned to look at you, and in the light coming from the hall through the open door you could see the blood that had sprayed over his mask and front of his clothes, the scarlet dripping from his now stilled blades, the way his shoulders shook with unbridled rage as his chest heaved from deep, furious breaths. He was on the edge of losing himself, you could feel the tense anger in the air that radiated off him, scolding and stifling. With a deep breath you shuffled forward, taking his hand gently in yours. He looked down at your joined hands, his breathing audibly calming as he got his rage under control and came back to you.

“Did they hurt you?” he huffed. It came out as almost a growl, and sent a shiver through you.

“I think I broke my nose, but I’m okay,” you whispered. You were shaking, he now realised, and he closed the door, quickly discarding his weapons before climbing on to the bed and wrapping himself protectively around you. He didn’t remove his mask, he didn’t want you to see the anger still on his face and fear him. “Kil, they were gonna…”

“Shh, I know, you’re safe now,” Killer cooed, pressing his mask against your shoulder and pulling you tighter to his chest. “You’re okay, I’ll never let anyone hurt you again”

“Kil, the night watch-” you started.

“Fuck the watch, this is more important,” he huffed angrily, “I could sense their intent to harm from the crows nest, fucking pigs”

You turned in his arms to face him, putting a hand on either side of his mask, asking silent permission. He reached back and you heard the latch click, and he let you guide it slowly from his face, placing it on the bed carefully. His face was written with anguish, he felt like he’d let you down that you’d come so close to being violated again. He was the first mate, it was his job to protect you, his job to make sure nobody who would do you harm was allowed on this ship, and he’d failed. You held his face and stroked his cheeks with your thumbs,pressing your forehead against his.

“I’m okay, I’m safe,” you whispered, feeling now that he was the one who needed consoling. He blinked down at you, confused. “This wasn’t your fault Kil, you got here in time, that’s all that matters”

He wanted to cry looking at you, still beaming up at him with such adoration despite his failings, despite how close you’d come to being raped again. Your front was covered in blood, your nose still dribbling but mostly clotted. It was definitely broken, sitting at an awkward angle, and would need to be reset. Looking around, your small room was fairing no better. Three bodies on the floor, two of them headless and still leaking blood onto your floor, staining your rug. The walls and bed were splattered with blood as well. He sighed and shifted you off him so he could stand, holding a hand out to you to help you up and putting his mask back on.

“We need to go tell Kid,” Killer frowned, “he’s not going to be happy. There were likely others who knew about this as well, we need to weed the rats out. And we need Mohawk to look at your nose”

You nodded in reply and took his offered hand, linking your fingers with his and letting him lead you. He woke Mohawk first, since his room was nearby. The man was dazed and rubbing sleep from his eyes, but quickly became alert when he saw how much blood was on both of you, and the state of your nose.

“What the fuck happened?” he complained, turning your face to-and-fro to inspect your nose.

“She was attacked,” Killer said plainly, “Take her to the infirmary and reset it, but don’t clean her up yet, I want Kid to see what they did”

Mohawk nodded and placed a hand on your shoulder, and you let him gently lead you away. The infirmary was lower in the ship, accessed from this side, while Kid and Killer’s rooms, as well as the navigation room, were in the front of the ship. You watched over your shoulder as Killer stomped away, his normally quiet, agile footsteps heavy with anger and purpose.

As soon as you stepped into the infirmary you got a whiff of the strong medical grade cleaners and gagged, running to the nearest sink and puking. Some of what you threw up was blood, having gone down the back of your throat while you were bleeding. You planted your hands flat on either side of the sink as you vomited, Mohawk quietly rubbing your back and holding your hair out of your face while you emptied your stomach. You were panting by the time you were done, and light headed from everything. Mohawk caught you before you could fall, leading you to a cot and urging you to lay down. He laid a cold cloth over your forehead before gathering what he needed for your nose. He’d have to wait for Kid to look you over before he could clean you off and tape your nose in place, but he could at least reset it for now. He gave you a quick injection of painkillers and anti nausea medication before quickly resetting your nose while you were still dizzy and out of it. You yelped and smacked him on instinct, to which he replied with a chuckle given how weak you were compared to most of the instinctual smacks he usually got.

You could hear Kid before you could see him, stomping angrily and roaring orders for everyone to wake the fuck up. Mohawk helped you sit up as he entered, followed closely by Killer. Kid’s soft side showed as he approached you, a forlorn look on his face as he held your face gently to inspect it, before looking you over.

“You good girlie?” he said softly.

“Yes Captain,” you replied calmly. He gave you a nod before backing up, the anger that had been on his face when he entered now returning.

“We’re gonna weed the rest of the cunts out,” his tone was deadly and you could feel the fire in his words, “Doc, bring her to the galley when you’re done patching her up. Don’t clean more blood than you have to, I want them to see what they did”

Mohawk gave him a nod and set to work cleaning off just what he needed to with the damp cloth as Kid stomped out. Killer gave you one last look before following behind him, there was work to be done.

Everyone on the ship was awake by the time Mohawk was finished with your nose, and they were being gathered in the galley, everyone except for a trusted officer who had been put on the rest of the nightwatch while Killer was busy, since Kid wanted all of his commanders for this, and Kid and Killer themselves, who were waiting for you outside the galley door. The cabin boys had also been left out of it, the henchmen barely spoke to them outside of chores so nobody had any doubt that they were innocent in the matter. The rest of the commanders were inside, throwing their weight around and ordering the henchmen and officers to move aside furniture and line up along a wall. They’d all heard what happened from Killer, and none of them were pleased. The air was tense, and you could hear the angry barking of the other commanders before you even approached. Mohawk gave the captain a curt nod before passing by him to join the others.

“You okay?” Killer asked softly, running a thumb over your cheek.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you leaned into his hand and gave him a small smile, “What’s the plan here?”

“There’s no way nobody else knew about the plan to hurt you,” Kid sounded cold and angry, not at you but at his crew and himself, “whispers carry quickly in the henchmen’s quarters. I’m going to threaten them, and Kil will use his haki to rat out the ones that are nervous”

“Let me do it,” you said flatly.

“Aye?” Kid raised a brow, “How you gonna do shit without your powers?”

“I’m not,” you explained, “I figure I have a good two minutes before I go feral. I’ll play the part of a sad, weak little girl in distress, I’ll hide behind Kil, and I’ll see right through him to see who has a racing heart when you threaten them. I’ll let Killer know how many, then when he gives the signal let me go. I’ll be feral, but with a target already locked in I won’t be a threat to anyone else. Let them see what happens when you fuck with me, with or without my mask. Just make sure you bring me under control before I kill any more than the number I indicated” You held up your bracelet to indicate you meant for Kid to flip your metal bracelet pendant when the time was right.

“You sure about this?” Killer sounded nervous.

“Yeah, I’ve never gone feral on purpose before, maybe I’ll have more control over it,” you mused, “either way, I’m gonna kill the bastards myself. I’ll tap your back with the number of them I see”

“Okay,” Killer put a hand on your shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly, “if you’re ready now then let’s go”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” you looked at Kid who looked just as nervous as Killer sounded, but he shook his head and put his angry face on before leading the three of you inside.

“ALRIGHT FUCKERS!” he roared as soon as the door was open, “LINE UP AND SHUT UP, THERE’S HELL TO PAY” He indicated for you to stand beside him, and you did your best to look anxious and upset. “You may have noticed the absence of three certain pigs here tonight. You’ll find them dead in Yin’s room, slain by Killer after he found them attempting to assault and rape her.” There was a murmur between the henchmen as they looked between each other to figure out who was missing. “I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Kid roared. You pretended to wince, and he pulled you in front of him. “I want you to all take a good look at what those fuckers did to MY property. This is MY ship, and anyone who goes against my word is seaking food.” He gave you a small shove towards Killer to indicate he was done showing off the blood that still covered your front, and you quickly hid behind the first mate and flipped your pendant. It was jarring at first, but as you had a few times on the island you let yourself adjust to it and focused as best you could on scanning the hearts of the crew.

“Now I’m not stupid,” Kid continued, beginning to pace along the lineup of men, “I know how whispers travel on this ship. Which means some of you no doubt knew about this plan, maybe even considered joining in, and did nothing to alert a commander. Stupid, really, you all know Killer has exceptional observation haki, he can probably already tell which of you fuckers are about to wet your pants”

You scanned them carefully, quickly locking in on two men with exceedingly fast heart rates. You tapped Killer’s back twice to indicate to him, and he in turn tapped the insides of his punishers. He and Kid had long since had these sorts of invisible signals set between each other, and Kid could feel the vibrations in the metal bracers. He smirked in recognition, knowing it was close to time to let you loose. He’d seen first hand the violence you could unleash in your feral state, he was excited to see you in action, without your teeth in his throat this time.

“He’s not the only one with that ability though,” Kid snickered as he continued, “you fuckers may think that without her mask, Yin is some helpless little girl, defenceless and free for the taking, but the mask is only a tool. She can see right through you, and she knows who is guilty already. You’re about to see exactly how ‘weak and defenceless’ she is”

You could feel the feral instincts of your hindbrain slowly clawing at your sanity, and you gave a warning growl, manipulating it purposely so the sound carried and echoed through the room, more akin to a bear than a girl. Killer snickered and stepped aside for you as you began to let the rage win out, twitching slightly as it took over, your fingers flexing as though to prepare claws you didn’t have, your smile wide and toothy. The henchmen began to break line, nervous as you approached. Their heart’s were all racing now as they saw your cold, lifeless pink eyes for the first time, but you already had your targets, locked in by the unique and unmistakable features that nobody else could even see.

“What’s wrong, men?” Kid laughed, “If you’re not guilty, then you have nothing to be scared off. Stay in fucking line”

The first of the guilty men began to back away, and you charged, roaring and sinking your teeth into his neck. When you’d done this to Kid, you had the intention of letting him die slowly, but with multiple targets to take care of, and the smallest hint of control since you had done this on purpose, you wanted to make a show out of it. You sank in deep as he fell to the floor, making animalistic, possessive growls as you burst his internal organs one by one, inflicting as much pain as possible, till finally you threw your head back, pulling a chunk of his neck with you. Normally you wouldn't have the strength to do that, but you’d slyly used your fruit to weaken the flesh, allowing you to make a gory show out of ripping his neck out. He gurgled as he choked on his blood, and you stood again, his crimson dripping down your maw, fresh and glistening over your own dried blood as you let the flesh drop from your mouth, landing with a wet splat in front of the others.

The other henchmen were yelling in fear, but Kid barked at them to stay in line. You turned to your second target, and the second you began to step towards him, he ran. You laughed cruelly and gave chase, laughing maniacally, clambering over tables to get to him, thankful they were metal so you could see them. He only got so far before you melted the flesh around his ankles, and he screamed as he went down. You pounced on him, sinking your teeth into any bare flesh you could find before weakening it and tearing it out with your teeth, exposing more and more of his insides as he continued to scream. He tried to fight back, so you coated yourself in haki, making yourself impenetrable against his useless clawing, till finally he fell limp when you tore out his jugular, choking on blood with his last breath. He was unrecognisable, an oozing pool of flesh and gore. You stood, throwing back your head and roaring victorious, letting the sound amplify and echo till it nearly deafened everyone in the room. You turned back to the rest of the henchmen, charging at them as Kid flipped your bracelet. You stopped right in front of a henchman, your face millimetres from his, a cold smile on your face and blood coating your teeth as you flashed them. You could hear him beginning to hyperventilate from fear and your smile widened as you took a few steps back, letting them all see the fresh blood that was dripping from you, blood you’d drawn while killing two full grown men with your bare hands, without your mask.

“I am not some weak little girl,” you barked, “I am a commander of the Kid Pirates, and I earned my place here by being more deadly and dangerous than any of you could ever dream of!” You paced the line of shaking, scared henchmen, smelling the urine on a few who had pissed themselves. “How many of you can kill hundreds in one fell swoop? How many of you can liquify a man without even touching him? You are all ignorant fools for thinking me weak, and I WILL have your respect, or you will die. If any of you ever so much as think about touching me again, I will burst your organs one by one, starting from the least life threatening, so you can feel them melting and tearing open inside you. You will be screaming for the mercy of death before I finish making you into a convenient flesh bag of soup for the seakings. Do I make myself fucking clear?” There was a silence from them as they shifted nervously under your gaze, “I said, DO I MAKE MYSELF FUCKING CLEAR?”

“YES COMMANDER” they replied in unison. The other commanders beamed with pride for you as they watched you take power. Until now, the henchmen had treated you with respect in person, but had always had little regard for you in private, always snickering behind your back and making bets about how long you would even last here. Now they were shaking with fear and pissing themselves as you commanded their respect.

“Clean this fucking mess up, and I expect my room to be fucking spotless by tomorrow,” you spat, waving a dismissive hand and turning back to the other commanders. The crew were quick to scatter, half of them going to the bodies you’d made, still warm and bleeding, the others fleeing to deal with your room. You, on the other hand had one thing on your mind, adrenaline coursing through your veins, still riding off the power high.

Kid smirked knowingly as you passed him towards Killer, to whom you gave a short “Follow,” as you passed before leaving the galley. He followed behind you obediently, rock hard from your display of strength and eager to be your plaything. You led him to his own room, waiting for him to enter before locking the door behind you. He removed his mask and turned to you, chest heaving with arousal, and you pushed him backwards till he was close to the bed, quickly unbuckling his belt and pulling his pants down enough to expose his cock while he tore off his shirt. You pushed him back on the bed, his torso bouncing a little as it landed against the mattress, and you followed him on, straddling his hips and reaching down between you to pull your panties aside.

“Are you sure? Won’t it hurt?” Killer held your wrist as you tried to position his erection at your entrance. You growled possessively at him and he quickly let go, a shiver running down his spine as you sunk down on him. It did hurt, the scar tissue of your barely healed tears pulling tight as you stretched around him, but you couldn’t care less, the pain quickly overridden by pleasure as you started to ride him hard and fast.

You were still coated in blood, and it only served to make him harder, watching you ride him like you were still feral, giving in to your primal urges to claim and own him. You leaned down and sunk your teeth into his neck, and he moaned and writhed under you. You licked at the bite before sinking into a new spot, repeating it over and over till his neck and shoulder and chest were covered in raw, inflamed bite marks. You sat back up, admiring your work as you reached down and rubbed your clit furiously, throwing your head back and moaning while his fingertips sunk into your hips hard enough to leave bruises. He matched your pace, pressing against his heels to thrust up into you, almost bouncing you on his cock as he speared you. You came suddenly and hard with a gush of liquid, the release spilling out over his abdomen and pooling in his belly button. He took one look at your fluids dripping from him and let out a harsh groan, cumming so hard he shook underneath you as his load painted your still fluttering walls. You collapsed on his chest, the blood and fluids spreading between you, mixing with your sweat as you both panted hard.

“Fuck, fuck,” Killer panted underneath you, “I didn’t know you were a squirter”

“It’s only happened once before,” you huffed between breaths, “Is that okay?”

“Fuck yes, absolutely,” Killer laughed, then groaned, “we need to get cleaned up”

You sat back up, looking at the sheer amount of different bodily fluids you were both coated in and snorting. “Yeah probably”

Killer held your waist as he sat up and scooted you both towards the edge of the bed, kicking off his boots and his pants the rest of the way before pulling your nightie over your head and throwing it in the general direction of his laundry basket. He looked at your panties and frowned, they were still trapped between the two of you. He decided he didn’t want to pull out to remove them, so instead he tore them off, making you giggle. Now that you were both naked he lifted you effortlessly, keeping his cock warmed inside you as he walked you both to the bathroom. You wrapped your limbs around him like a monkey as he fiddled with the shower settings, settling on a temperature and stepping in, pinning you against the wall with the water running between you. His cock was hardening inside you again, and you made a small wanton whimper as you tried to shift on him. He took the hint and started to thrust languidly into you, holding you up with a hand on each ass cheek as he penetrated you at a lazy pace and kissed your neck.

You turned your head to meet his lips, kissing him slowly and lovingly as he sped up his thrusts, his tongue finding passage into your mouth and rubbing his wet muscle against yours as he swallowed your moans. You pulled away for air, panting hard. He pressed his face against your neck, groaning against you as he began to thrust up into you at a messy, desperate rate.

“I love you,” he groaned against your neck, nipping at it and licking the marks he left behind.

“I love you too,” you moaned, “Kil, fuck, I’m gonna-”

“Me too, fuck,” he pressed his face hard into your shoulder as he took harsh breaths, “cum with me, cum with me”

You gripped him hard, your nails sinking into his back as your pussy clamped down around him, cumming hard and pulling him with you. You nearly screamed as he fucked you hard against the wall and roared, spilling out inside you, pumping you to the point of over-stimulation before finally stilling. He pulled out of you slowly, his cum dripping down your thighs as he placed you down, still holding you against the wall as your legs shook.

As soon as he was sure you were steady, he let you go and grabbed a cloth to start wiping you clean, washing you meticulously as you steadied yourself against the wall for support, still shaking a little. You whined as he wiped between your legs, sore and over-sensitive, but he was careful and worked quickly. Silently he worked on washing you, cleaning your hair and massaging conditioner into it. You returned the favour, though he had to help with his hair since there was so damn much of it. Both clean and with conditioner in your hair, he held you close, standing in warm, comfortable silence under the water as he stroked your back lovingly and you buried your face in his chest.

[NEXT CHAPTER]

[andrbllts]

When Life Falls Apart

Plays "Fix You" by Coldplay

Hi everyone. It's 10:04:00 PM 9/13/24. In the middle of doing adhoc tasks at work. Here in my unfurnished apartment in Pasay.

There’s a special kind of peace on a cold, quiet night tonight. The air is crisp, the sky is a deep blue, scattered with stars that twinkle like tiny diamonds. It’s so quiet that even the smallest sounds feels amplified, as if the world itself is listening. The stillness is comforting, a gentle reminder of the beauty in solitude and the magic that a quiet night can bring. And this made me decide to write something here tonight. About what? Struggles.

If you’re reading this, the title of this post somehow, got your attention. You might be going through one of those moments when it feels like everything is falling apart. Maybe you’ve just failed at something you were deeply passionate about, lost someone you loved, or find yourself struggling to trust anyone because so many people have let you down. Life can be brutally challenging, especially when your heart feels like it’s been shattered into a million pieces, and the pain seems like it will never end.

I know this feeling all too well. I come from a complicated family background. My mom is still technically married to her husband, but they haven’t been together in years. My dad, on the other hand, is in a relationship with his wife and already had three kids by the time I was born. It was a messy situation, to say the least. I grew up mostly alone, spoiled by the financial support my parents provided, but lacking the emotional stability of a traditional family.

So, at 16, when I met my 2nd girlfriend, I was determined to create the family I never had. I wanted to experience the warmth of a close-knit family, and I promised myself that I wouldn’t let my own family be broken like the one I grew up in. I swore I’d be a responsible husband and father. But life has a funny way of throwing curveballs when you least expect them. I was cheated on and led on five times before I finally decided to choose myself. It was soul-crushing, and at one point, I even contemplated ending my life.

I fell into a dark place, turning to vices, women, and alcohol, trying to numb the pain. I became someone I didn’t recognize—flirting for fun, pulling away the moment things got serious, too guarded to let anyone in. In my attempt to protect my heart, I forgot how to truly love. And when I did finally get into another relationship, I didn’t handle it well. I hurt people, became arrogant, and lost sight of who I was. My past mistakes haunted me, and it took years to recover from the self-inflicted wounds.

Eventually, I made a promise to myself: if I ever found myself in a relationship again, I would be the best version of myself. I would give that person the love and care they deserved, the understanding and passion I once had. And I did—I met someone, fell in love, and for a while, it felt like I was finally getting it right. But after two years, I got cheated on again. It was a painful reminder of why I guard my heart so fiercely. I love deeply, and when I get hurt, it takes me a long time to heal.

But this time, I refused to let heartbreak destroy me. I focused on healing and becoming a better version of myself. I met someone else, and although it didn’t work out, I’m okay. I’ve learned to find peace in the journey, even when the outcome isn’t what I hoped for. I’m still lucky. Life might not always go the way we plan, but I believe we have the power to decide how we respond, to pick ourselves up, and to keep moving forward, even when it feels impossible.