#and how emotionally i dont give 2 shits abt this so

[phagodyke]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

[biggie-chcese]

yuma cockhead

yuma cockhead.... his silhouette is pretty dick shaped in a way thanks to that haircut now that i think abt it

ANYWAY YUMA SHIPS!!! I LOVE A LOT OF THOSE (spoilers below)

NDA

Shinigami- 10/10 i love these two a lot and they're everything 2 me and i am very much enamored by the idea of a pair sharing mind and body. do yall think they had freaky mind se-

Yakou- 20/10 i have rambled before so ill refrain here but the angst potential mixed with the funny roommates potential is everything to me. i feel So Many things about them. they should have pathetic cringefail sex all the time <3

Halara- 9.8/10 i really love them deeply, especially how easily yuma breaks through halara's walls. the only reason points have been docked at all is because theyre not at the forefront of my mind

Desuhiko- 5/10 i only really like them in memes otherwise i kinda dont care

Fubuki- 8/10 theyre sooo cute together and i love how patient and sweet yuma is with her and how much she opens yuma's mind!!! also just not at the front of my mind but it is a banger ship. anyway can we start calling them kokoclock

Vivia- 20/10 OH BABY... fellas is it gay to be narrative foils? is it gay to change each others' outlook on life and truth and peace and happiness? also this fucking height difference makes me crazy

Kurumi- solid 2/10 i dont hate it but i dont like it either. the game makes me dislike it but ive seen some good fanon stuff. i think it's at its best if kurumi has a one-sided fangirl crush that's lowkey creepy but not outright yandere

Amaterasu

Makoto- 20/10 OUGHHH... i Really like this one. rattling them in my brain all the time. there's something i find deeply interesting in the way that they Truly understand each other. it's even easier to see ones own flaws and needs from an outsider's point of view, and i think that's a Really Good Thing for the world's most emotionally constipated minds

Yomi- 8/10 this one is extremely self indulgent to me because i think angry yuma is... really good. i want them to have nasty hatesex where they try to kill each other

Swank- 5/10 because erm uhhh. this has a very Specific appeal to me sorry. i want a lot of things to happen to yuma. swank should burn cigars on yuma's skin and then shotgun smoke with him in a seedy motel after yuma has made several bad choices in a row

Fake Zilch- 5/10 kind of similar reasoning to swank. not elaborating

the rest of the peacekeepers- idk man 2/10 or something i do not give a fuck about these ships but it's yuma so im open to them

Train Detectives

Real Zilch- 4/10 ive seen cute art but im mostly indifferent

Aphex- 5/10 i like that aphex is mean to yuma he should bully him More

Pucci- 3/10 the scene where their hands touched annoyed me i didnt want pucci to be a love interest. and then a more annoying love interest plot came afterwards so i guess that's how it goes. i dont care man idc

Zange- idk like 2/10. i dont care.

Melami- 4.5/10 i like that the first thing she did was grope yuma on sight. realest shit of all time. speak your truth, girl

Misc

Shachi- 4.5/10 i think it's a bit hot that shachi looks like he could snap yuma like a wafer stick. also i once drew them fucking once so now im attached

Nun- 4/10 i read one particularly good fic

The Literal Book of Death- 5/10 i read one particularly good fic

Ramen Shop Owner- 6/10 it would be really, really funny. besides yuma ramenhead deserves at least some good head from number one for literally solving kanai ward for him

aaand that's everything i feel like giving an opinion about! if you're curious about any others, assume i'm indifferent. thanks for asking!

[rust-is-a-car-disease]

Dod crossover ideas go

Dod x orv (i think ive seen 2 on ao3 alr and they are amazing i love them. They will not be able to be pried out of my cold dead hands. I didnt finish orv but the setting is one of my favs)

Skills i think would be neat for idols/testar and co to have: immersion, crowd control, some charisma bs skill

Individual skills (not counting current stuff):

Bae Sejin: smtg to do with his amazing actor stuff. Arguably that could be included in immersion so maybe smtg to do with setting up situations like reading from a script. Legal jargon stuff exists so... maybe smtg to do with contracts or no... maybe smtg like the vow of death from tcf but less extreme? Or like informal verbal contracts confirmation to a milder degree... not to death usually probably

Ryu Chungwoo: again i love him but idk much abt him. He just doesnt click in my brain. Uh uh maybe a minor perception skill. Specifically not mental resistance. Oooh i dont actually know much abt idol dynamics, what does an idol group leader do? Uhhhh something something perfect child??? Like uh 'i have to be a good child' like in return to player. Its basically where the user is compelled to behave better? But it can go very very wrong as we can see in s tier timeline dynamics. So he would be compelled to do well and behave well maybe like a rock in the group as the hyung and leader but he could explode or crack horribly in certain conditions

Lee Sejin: incite. Manipulation related skills 100 percent. Maybee something that allows him to blend naturally into groups or with people unnoticed. Kind of like a just casually inserting himself everywhere whenever he wants. What else... uhhh id say a favour system where if someone owes him from something like him saving their life or giving them food theyre obliged to help him but that sounds too op to be fun... maybe mental suggestion? More so people think of him favourably automatically as a baseline? So theyre more open to him generally + added that if he slips an idea into conversation they will very likely take it out he intended and adopt the idea he wants

Park Moondae: wifi skill. 100 percent wifi skill. Chat with keundal maybe due to body swap and system shenanigans? I feel like hes the kind if he covers up a bit he would be able to get relatively unnoticed until he reveals himself and then suddenly he cant get any time to himself. So maybe a skill like that? Siren siren siren s- no too op its not as fun... emotionally suggestion? Like he has a skill that suggest emotions to people strongly so theyre emotional states are easier to manipulate? Its thru song tho

Seon Ahyeon: uhhhh not a mental resistance skill... sorry deer but ur nullification works differently... uhhhh oh shit idk what could be used as a skill for him... his beautiful face isnt a skill... his charm is just him... uhhhhhhhhhh... focus? He can hone in on a self set goal or objevtive maybe? I seem to remember the arc where he tries to get moondae to tell his secret... uhhh what elseeeeee uhhhh idk man ToT a lot of his traits and personalities dont fit into skills. Eternally beautiful face skill ✨

Cha Eugene: uhhhh little kitty cat... oh he can eat a lottt. I say he can store food. Yoo mia alr has the storage skill so i say he can stock pile food nutrients and stuff. It would be useful where he just eats a lot and instead of burning thru it like usual probably he can store it. My boy knows how to get attention... wait that alr carried over in black hole... uhhhh my guy knows how to utilise attention??? Like in the water festival? Focus on his coolness not how out of place he is. Cover up flaws and distract???

Kim Raebin: ah our rabbit... what to do with this bunny... maybe his music has a layer of suggestion to it? Like he can suggest things through his music like emotional and mental suggestion? Not to the point of moondae and sejin who specialises in a specific one but its there. Uhhh what else... oh! He can summon his equipment. Paired with moondae's voice he can summon a microphone and suddenly theres widescale suggestion

Bonus:

Keundal: can check the status of testar + marked people like in the alternate world arc where everyone got their memories (it was then right?? Or am i accidentally adding tomagachi arc to it?)

Cheongryeo: his obesessiveness and repeats havd earned him several abilities which are like but not limited to being able to check vaguely ehat his group members + moondae are doing, having the skills related to kidnapping someone(s), following scripts etc. This comes with the downside of him being even more mentally unstable and a constant worry of his kongi which will probably lead to several mental breakdowns and hammers to peoples heads. Where does one find dog food in the apocolypse? Is human meant toxic to dogs? Whooo knows? :)

Kongi: he(??) gets skills bc i said so. Also bc cheongryeo will probably go batshit crazy without kongi. Whos keeping who on a leash? Probably something like mentally healing(to an extent) for people he cares abt like cheongryeo. Kongi is adorable i will not be taking criticism. This goodest boy has negatic survival skills. He will get sick from slightly unclean food and cheongryeo has to put in the work to take care of him. He gets sick a lot in the apocolypse and everyone is trying to stop cheongryeo on a rampage bc his mental state is even worse than before.

Orbit employees: idk but i think if its fun if they benefit from being associated with not 1 but 2 system users. Ofc maybe not too. They could also just all die.

[qevillous]

hai hello i wanted to ask abt how u view shadow s5 and any hc's you have for them as sort of both individuals and as a group :3 go as in depth as you like im a sucker for long detailed explanations

OUYH MY GOOOD SHADOW S5 OH MY GAGGDG

OH MYG OD okay hey

shadow s5 as a dynamic is so interesting to me because its very similar yet very VERY different all the same because of exactly who gets changed.

so first on like individual levels heres how i take the shadows ahem clears throat (STINKS that we dont have canon aloarmy but okayyy hinodeya)

shadow rider is canonically a coward, hes nervous and self doubting. hes verrrry exaggerated in the manga so i like to exaggerate him in writing. i think hes more of an incompatible follower who cant get picked by anyone instead of a compatible loner who chose to be alone like normal rider.

shadow army has no canon interp so i interpet them similarly to how eging jr was flipped but in reverse. theyre less organized, they dint fuckin button their shirt right they wear their coat unzipped shitty tie shitty facepaint yk the deal. i also interpret them as more aggresively rebellious where normal army is more of a passive stickler. that basically means they’re more laid back and explicit. 

shadow aloha ALSO has no canon. so i interp him as a loooserrr LMAO very sarcastic but very pessimistic, where normal aloha is more of a sarcastic optimist. he comments on shit in the background like hes talkin to someone even tho nobody gives a fuck what he thinks and he doesn’t particularly care about his surroundings. overall just the loser in the corner of a party sitting down holding a drink instead of the main focus. 

shadow mask is silly. silly guy. they’re obviouslt exaggerated a LOT in the manga so i like to tone them down just a bit, acting more happy for the sake of being happy instead of high energy. that contrasts masks ideal of being cynical for the sake of being cynical. i think both are sarcastic but on shadow masks side xe doesn’t mean it, and they come off as insincere, explaining how their excitement at the battle felt like excessive overkill despite it not being so.

shadow skull is very similar to normal skull in expressiveness, but is different in awareness. i think shadow skull is very aware of his surroundings but not very emotionally empathetic. i think what he lacks in empathy is made up for in his directness. 

shadow s5 is interesting because it pretty much completely throws the social dynamic of s5. normal s5 is 1 extrovert 1 ambivert 3 introverts, and instead of shadow s5 being 4 extroverts 1 ambivert 1 introvert, shadow s5 is ACTUALLY 2 extroverts 3 introverts. which makes it even more interesting because of just how much more balanced it makes their social interactions split into duos.

for example shadow raimask is very chill since they both share a similar mindset, where shadow raimask is chaos because they have directly oppising mindsets. on the flip side shadow alomask is direct opposites, and normal alsomask is ALSO direct opposites but swapped over. i could talk about it for a while but i think i would start rambling like a crazy person. i like the idea of shadow s5 in a more casual light instead of the manga’s exaggerated one. it would give more insight to their personalities and interactions but we cant have Anything can we bcz hindodeya haaaates meeeeee.

[sho-minamimoto]

6 20 23 Sho

1 7 8 23 Shiba!

Sho

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Hmm.... hard to say since Sho is just. completely batshit. I guess the easiest and most obvious answer would be that we're both artists and like to find beauty in aesthetically strange things. But I dont think i have a single thing in common with him personality wise LOL

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

I think susukichi and sho have extremely similar temperaments + quirks and if they weren't on opposite sides of The Conflict they'd get along great. I said once before that Susukichi would be the Sho Minamimoto of NEO if sho literally wasn't also already in the game. Their vibes are super similar and they both want to have a fun time.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

This one marketing image from when the anime was airing is the funniest thing in the world to me. like. why the fuck is sho even here. he is in no way buddies with anyone in the hachiko gang (during this specific timeframe anyways) there is literally NO logical reason for him to be posed alongside this specific group of characters here. This image from sho's pov is just him + guy hes actively trying to kill + guy he's stalking only bc he's joined at the hip with the guy he's trying to kill + guy he met twice and beat the shit out of one of those times + 2 people he's never met or interacted with before ever. On a marketing level its clear they just wanted to include him with the main characters simply bc hes a super popular character among fans but it's makes for the most unintentionally hilarious image ever.

Shiba

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

First. he's extremely funny and dresses like a harlot. Second THE LAYERSSSS Shiba's primary motivation is like a puzzle that the narrative gives you all the pieces to and then invites you to solve. Not in that the game doesn't tell you what it is At All, it says as much that he's on a powertrip towards ascension, but it's difficult to wrap your head around Why until you deliberately examine and unravel each of his relationships with the other shinjuku reapers: how they affected him, what their side of the story is, why they're emotionally estranged but still sticking together, etc. I enjoy that you have to take the time to put it together yourself, but also the full picture you get once that puzzle is complete is one that i enjoy immensely. The fact that the core of shiba's plight is rooted in his relationships (or lack thereof) is very true to the spirit of twewy and I greatly appreciate that they applied all this to the game's main villain AND gave him a chance for redemption on top of it. His final scene is one of my favourites in the game and really sticks with me.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

The memes. Shiba's so easy to meme on its great. I have a folder of shiba memes on my desktop whenever i see a new shitpost or edit i Have to save it. im glad he gets clowned on so hard. Shi Basuks Cok lives in my head rent free. I wish shiba's va did small comms like I've seen other voice actors do sometimes bc i would pay him money to hear him voice act that post as Shiba for real. But i can dream

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I know i like Just finished talking abt how much i love the shiba memes but i also dislike how Majority of what i see of shiba is Just the memes and jokes. I wouldn't go as far as say i despise them at all (or i wouldn't have a folder of shiba memes) but I think its disappointing that i hardly see anyone actually take him seriously as a character or give him any consideration for analysis. Or not as much as I'd like to see, anyways (when i do see it it fucks hard though.) I also get the impression sometimes that some people take delight in the memes + clowning on shiba specifically bc they think he's just Not well written or interesting which bums me out a little.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

this clown shiba edit i made a yearish ago. i hold it close to my heart.

[thornsent]

it's very very funny (lying) that my ex Vagues Me In Tags Of Posts and CONTINUES to act like I am evil and bad and "not moving on" for talking abt the shit he did to me!!! yea it was inflammatory but there's not really a way to make "this guy is a serial liar + emotionally abusive + also rapes dogs maybe don't give him a platform where he can easily target more people" NOT inflammatory. I dont understand how on other websites people care abt that shit but here I guess it's fine as long as you make enough Funny Posts right?

innes entered a relationship with me in the direct aftermath (which he was 100% aware of, he'd been there for me the like. whole time.) of a relationship that was so abusive I fucking feared for my life

he EXPLICITLY did this because I was vulnerable & scared & needed someone to be there for me, and I'm betting he saw me as a means to an end, that end being "getting out of his abusive grandmother's house for good" bc while homeless I was on a multitude of waiting lists for public housing and other support like that. which he knew, bc I told him. I'd thought abt offering "hey do you want to be roommates" to him before we started dating but iirc he is the one who brought it up when we decided to start working on making it a reality

he would also lead me to pursuing some inheritance from my grandfather who passed away almost a decade ago now which was under the control of my father for Reasons. we were going to use it to buy a house together. the quantity of this inheritance cost my (pending, but I was several years into the process and SO CLOSE to receiving) SSI, cost me some other public assistance I was receiving too but that's the big one. I'm having to restart the entire process from the start now.

I saved and saved and saved for him. pre-inheritance I literally had set a fund aside, specifically to buy him plane tickets if shit ever hit the fan & also to help with other costs if needbe. I worked really hard to save that money through commissions & doing online transcription that only pays $6/hr. I worked and worked and worked and worked for that man.

I helped him get on food stamps, I was happy to help him find a good therapist, good doctor, everything. and then he just took a huge shit on everything I did and the entire relationship and I found out he'd been lying for almost 2 months abt seeing a therapist, and then when I got mad about being mistreated and lied to, that's when he started to act like I was this evil and malicious person. because I confronted him. because I didn't just sleep and let it happen. classic textbook abuser behavior

but even then at the time I didn't realize "hey this is abuse" bc I was just so caught up in it, I was so wrapped up around him and had planned my entire future around him. I don't think he EVER did the same for me, which was why it was so easy for him to repeatedly cheat on me, lie to me, and then decide he didn't want to be around someone with a pussy bc that would make him bisexual and he's a homosexual u see. his words not mine!

idk I think it's valid to maybe question the intent of someone who claims to be trans immediately after their ex calls them out for being abusive. especially when some of that abuse surrounded my own transness & gender identity. but I guess because I don't have fucking screenshots of phone calls and discord calls it ~didn't happen~, like way to continue the fucking gaslighting

[royrockstone]

i’d for sure be interested in a chapter/fic of roman dissecting his siblings relationships w food!! i think it’s something they’d only be able to examine after logan dies because obviously all their actions stem from fear of him/wanting to perform for him.

ty for talking to me!! i crave enrichment in my enclosure and i love when it comes from fellow roman understanders <3

and yeah im sort of torn about when to set it bc i dont think they could Talk About It until after logans dead, and roman is so emotionally flayed open after logan that he might actually try to support/get support from them, which could be interesting to see him fail at lol. (related thought: i also think the siblings are trying to understand each other for maybe the first time, and finding that they miss a lot of the time, in the post logan era. so i like the idea of roman assuming ken and shiv think like he does re:food and being so, so painfully off base.) on the other hand, i think the Total deification of logan after death means he'd have absolutely no capacity to think 'hm maybe bc all three of us are fucked, Someone caused these issues' (which could also be interesting!)

but i also like the idea of him feeling cornered, while logan is still alive and his approval is still up for grabs, into talking abt his Issues somehow and just deflecting that everyone else is fucked up, maybe even more than him, and that the fact that they're all focusing on him means they're threatened and trying to turn him into the weak dog. or him having sort of slowly pieced together that there are widespread food issues in the family and never verbalizing it bc he cant risk logan thinking he wants to do something Gay like talking about their feelings.

i also want to find some way to include tom, connor, or stewy bc 1. i dont give them a lot of airtime and 2. they are all desiring characters who have appetites without guilt or anxiety (tom as gauche interloper conspicuously and eagerly consuming while he can, connor thinking of himself as formerly wrongfully deprived and reasserting his rightful status as a True Roy through fine wine and shit, stewy as proud hedonist and carnivore seeking and bleeding dry new and novel pleasure everywhere he goes) idk how but we'll feel it out

[hertwood]

dts s5 e3-5

e3: -"i am perfect 🥰" fuck u know what sometimes the charles leclerc charm does get to me ngl -"breaking america is very important" OH IS IT. let andretti join then -i'll say it. miami isn't that bad. you can critisize the consumerism of it all without being so anti-america yall -fuck caitlyn jenner but her gushing to christian horner abt how great it is that ferrari is winning is iconic -i did watch this season but i did after the fact /knowing/ max was gonna win in the end. its sorta hitting me how it did really look like, oh my god, charles could really win here. just lookin at his lil face thinking how much did he get his hopes up. how much did i hurt, watching it slip away. how do u even handle that emotionally -i know i've talked abt this before but when i was binging the 2022 season i got super drunk before/while watching miami and when i woke up in the morning i remembered basically nothing other than carlos taking his shirt off (priorities). i watched the race highlights sober and was surprised by the lando crash. lol -if anything this rewatch is putting me back in my max girlie era. chomp chomp chomp. and/or i'm ovulating. combination of both -cannot wait for padel game 2023 edition on dts. it will be superior i know it -i do think its wierd that theyre framing (trying to) prioritize charles as a mean thing to do when its exactly what merc did in 2021 for lewis and it was 100% necessary both times. the guy who said 'ferrari won with the wrong car' wasnt wrong thats just how this shit works!!! -idk why dts couldn't just explain that max has non terminal but non fixable damage and thats why he was so damn slow. i feel like it wouldve been so easy to just mention. give context to why he couldnt get back up there -i dont think having multiple episodes focus on the same race from different perspectives is the worst thing ever, but i do think they fucked it up here by having the silverstone episodes back 2 back 2 back...... at least mix it up a lil. put another episode inbetween so we've forgotten by the time its being rehashed is it rly that hard

e4: -"i would've fucked the whole paddock" you know what maybe gunther IS iconic. maybe i will miss him a lil -i'm not a mick girlie but he is such a sweet boy. gunther count ur days :) -being reminded that michael and jos were teammates is such a jumpscare. how did that happen -"its not about proving them wrong, its about proving yourself right." HES SUCH A SMART N WISE LIL BOY. MWAH MWAH MWAH -that was a legitimately terrifying high speed crash. like a crash is a crash but the way that car got torn up is insane -STAY AWAY FROM OLLIE BEARMAN BTW -kevin supporting mick is So Important like an older sibling trying to break the cycle w/ a shitty parent. kevin i love u -ALSO underrated ship. btw -respectfully. as someone who knows nothing abt cars. if the haas keeps having problems splitting in half during crashes mayb. its a car issue. just a thought -faldskjfalksjf but this monaco crash: thinkin abt during the race, kevin had a mechanical dnf nearly the same time, so when the camera cut from mick's smashed car to kevin standing on the side of the track, looking disappointed, there was legitimate confusion on who fucking crashed. anyway that goes to show MAYBE THE CAR IS JUST SHIT -sebmick. is indeed. important -i love the way mick thinks his name is only a blessing. i just love seeing other people be brutally positive in the face of adversity bc its what i aspire to try to do too. its a good mindset to have i hope he is doin well now <3 -small children humbling tf out of christian horner is so important actually -i'm so glad daniel knew what he was worth with haas. i'm so glad they couldn't damn afford him. as he should 💅 -mick & max ALSO underrated ship. this man is so shippable -i am glad max n mick got to have this lil battle tho. they got to have what their dads predicted finally :)

e5: -ok so this is actually the most recent dts episode ive seen since before i started the rewatch, right after otmar got fired i watched it as a fun lil victory lap. this'll be fun lets goooooooo -otmar as a man is such a walking ick. even if i dislike other TPs at least they dont give me the ick. thats the second most unforgivable crime otmar has committed -i'm sorry the way otmar left AM bc he didnt like lawrence as a boss only to sign up to work for LAURENT ROSSI????? u have to laugh -i've said it before and i'll say it again nando n estie were fucking raw 100% -even if mclaren continued to be shit and alpine didn't implode oscar still made the right choice bc CLEARLY otmar was keen on keeping the nandoestie lineup for as long as fucking possible. and then he gets mad when oscar realizes that and bails??? i hate this man sm -'je m'appelle yuki. merci' iconic dts quote. yall if dts didnt exist we wouldnt have this be grateful -ok. so i know when this season came out this whole dando in the parking garage bit got some heat bc apparently that was not at paul ricard like the episode implies. but honestly. listen. netflix got a fun lil moment with daniel and lando. they didnt have anywhere else to put it. was there really any harm with having it squeezed in there. its not like ppl thinking theres a parking garage at paul ricard is super damaging misinformation. pls find real solid criticisms of dts instead of this kinda bitchin and moanin THANK U -HI SEBCHAL CRUMBS -ok um. not 2 tinhat here but i know dts got some heat for not having enough women in this season. did they go back and add these bits with jennie gow after she recovered from her stroke i dont remember her being here. its fine i just dont particularly like how netflix can go back n change shit -i hate birthdays i get so much second hand cringe from this. if i never get sung happy birthday again ever in my life that would be ideal -how many times has nando left and gone back to renault/alpine? god its like a girl who wont stop getting back together with a cheating bf and then being surprised when he cheats again oh fernando left ur team WATER IS WET BABES -ok what i'm getting is otmar is bad at getting contracts finalized in a timely manner and maybe this is his damn fault :) -'lets show him he made the wrong choice' you have to laugh ladjfaklsjdfaljd

[pulquedeguayaba]

Dude that phone call totally wrecked the flow I was having today.

God, why are men so fucking messy. This dude straight out told me the first time we talked it was only abt the sex and not much else. And I was like "alright, neat" cos it's defo better for me, I hate drama, and emotions (specially of the romantic kind) give me scabies. But he and other guy sometimes go around being emotional, showing care or concern of some kind, also theres an underlying yearning that...🥴 why? What made you think I welcome these emotional displays of any sorts? Because "I'm a woman"? I think the fuck not. And it's not like I've even fucked with any of them and yet they managed to get attached but wont admit it. And I only care for their lack of admittance insofar as they bother me with their messages or things they want. Like I keep it strictly business and they go...being messy 🥴

Maybe it's me being a fucking unemotional savage that gets a system failure when those things are concerned AND I'm not feeling it, but it has always rubbed me off those things like dude didn't we agree this was only business? Like it's of no concern of yours how am doing, also cos it is half assed as hell (they clearly get annoyed that I've never showed a simmilar deference, LIKE THAT SHOULD FUCKING TELL YOU HOW MUCH I CARE ABT THIS), also them having gfs like "dont you have someone to have sex with and be emotional with? Why you wanna drag me in some mess you wont acknowledge or wont do anything abt it?"

Even my love, the owner of many things that I have been and also a big reason for the way I am now, can sometimes come off as an emotional whiplash but with him I tolerate it cos I actually have feelings for him. And the nonexistent arrangement that somehow is (and the fact that there are karmic ties between us too...) works fine for me, but even when he gets funky is like what the fuck are you doing? 🤡 but I'll never do anything, cos realised a while ago that I need to have this man in my life, even if we never talk or see each other, just knowing he's out there gives me enough contentment. Also he's been one of the few people who has helped me with my job search these months, and the job I landed today was in part thanks to him. Again, my story with him is complicated and long. Way too many internet posts have been made in reference to him so won't dwell on that

Plus me heavily reflecting on comphet lately doesnt help to these dudes causes (not that there should be a support for them in first place anyway). Cos I think I reached the conclusion that, yes, I find men aesthetically and sexually attractive, tho I rarely want to act on those desires, they arent as strong, plus being in the ace spectrum doesnt help either. So yeah while sexually comphet is not it, it deffo is when it comes to the emotional/relational dimension. I deeply resent men socially for a variety of reasons, and it really rubs me off when they show emotional interest other than mere friendship and/or sexual attraction. So sure wanna fuck them but dont wanna fuck with them or their needs in any other context that is not friendship/filial/business.

I have needed to express this for a while but havent found a motivation to do it till now. Also that totally disrupted my flow reading Hall and fucking dense texts on identity and whatnot for my phd proposal, so it really really bugged me. And since that killed my vibe gonna practise urdu writing and watch Alone Together 🖖🏼

[cartoonemotion]

after a million years plus an addition million years post the show ending i am finally just now scribbling out my takes and stuff on fethry's immediate family a la how they would fit into dt17 canon

the breakdown in my mind is that all 3 of eider and lulubelle's children are Strange and Ambiguously Disordered (fethry taking the most after his mother) and also to some degree have inherited eider's legendary strength (abner being basically on par with his father and fethry as the baby and the runt of the three being much more close to just having normal person strength, though still a bit surprising for how noodly he is)

more specific points abt the family under the cut bc i dont want the post to be too long @_@

abner

definitely autistic (as 3 and also lulu are) but its like in that. i dont have healthy coping mechanisms to deal with how alienated from ppl i feel so im just gonna fish and carve wood and if anyone enters my space i will burn it down with both of us still inside it. way

that being said abner’s still plenty capable of being a compassionate guy deep down. he cares a lot about his family and takes whatever responsibility u entrust him with extremely seriously

comes off as emotionally stunted bc he doesnt really show affection in the “normal” way, including and especially physical affection and also. saying shit  out loud. he has his own love language its called * noncommittal groan of acceptance as you enter his house *

in my brain i know he should have a job but all i can think about is him fucking off in the woods so he doesnt have to talk with people. maybe one of those people who sit in towers all day to make sure forests dont burn down. i dunno

mary

loves acting and wants to be a professional stage/screen actor so bad but is unfortunately terrible at acting. probably been in like a few commercials or something

very very dramatic, im talking full comedy sketch of a julliard actor levels of melodrama and stage fainting, whether onstage or not. this makes it hard to tell if her reactions to things are genuine or not unless u are her brothers or parents who have been dealing with this forever

since the acting career is not really taking off Yet she has maybe ripped off 1 or 2 or 20 or so people maybe more just to keep the lights on. ironically when shes conning people she can actually act convincingly (my leverage fans out there. you know)

some of you will probably ask about dugan and while i do absolutely love dugan personally in my mind marys not ready nor interested in motherhood. so. maybe some day i will reveal my own dt17 dugan origin concept idk

eider

something of a local folk hero due to both his truly legendary strength and his equally strong inclination to lend his neighbors a hand, or really anyone else who may need a little help for that matter

as exceptionally goofy and loving as you could want any dad to be, though he can also be a bit stern when he needs to be, and a little prideful

in my mind i think it would be very cool if he had moved his family into granny elvira’s farm to give her a hand bc while shes a tough old woman everyone still needs a hand from time to time but i dont know if this contradicts any serious duck lore so forgive me

lulubelle

full loon baby ! none of this “looks like every other member of clan mcduck” shit !!! yes this includes the blood red eyes #epicloonwin

many make the mistake to count her as an absent minded spooky insane woman but this could not be further from the truth. she is very sharp-witted, observant, and is only spooky simply because its pretty near impossible to creep or gross her out, and even harder to full-on scare. and also because she makes long uninterrupted eye contact all the time

fethry definitely inherited a lot from her, but one of the main things they share is the tendency to cycle through all kinds of seemingly unrelated hobbies and interests; but much like fethry’s chief passion seems to be marine biology, lulu greatly enjoys botany and all it’s practical applications, as well as music

[ihatebnha]

ok ngl bc ive gone on rants twice now (once with shigaraki and once with bakugo) that were brought on by me seeing a bad tiktok take and idk.......

like the convo tonight was brought on by people disparaging themselves and thats one thing, but tiktoks r always soooooo BOLD abt it. & its the culture deffo, at least 80% of their intent is to be funny & get views so being like "pov u like toxic men" and putting popular chars on there is part of that, but it just rubs me the wrong fucking way, due to a combo of the takes usually just flat-out being a bad reading of the text and also like if they rlly were shitty in the text then why is it a crime to portray them as nicer if u wanna people go the opposite way all the time 🙄 theyre not real i can do what i wand and actually no i dont like toxic men bc i dont imagine them as being toxic. sorry to u but hes different with me :/

also im Me so im sure one of the reasons i like bkg and shiggy so much is because their characters r so complex and inherently much softer & more emotionally mature than people give them credit for/will pick up on with a shallow viewing of the show, so like maybe its my fault for my taste in 2d men but. idk anime tiktok just has rancid vibes is all ASHBFDV like no that's not the take u think it is. sit down and read the text before trying to make ur funny little gotcha ur fav is a shitty person haha video bc u look like a dumbass AND a mean person

"due to a combo of the takes usually just flat-out being a bad reading of the text and also like if they rlly were shitty in the text then why is it a crime to portray them as nicer if u wanna people go the opposite way all the time"

NO but this is exactly it!!! I was literally just thinking about how so many portrayals of the characters (again, aside from purposeful characterizations) are incorrect not because they're bad ideas, but because they literally are unrelated to the character's personality in general!

Like you say in this, people can obviously, you know... say what they want about their faves... but at the same time, it's so often that there's no basis for any of the characterizations outside of surface level depictions and "toxic = sexy" or whatever.

And it's so annoying because it seems like... people on Tik Tok feel so high and mighty about these opinions that they go around shitting on others, EVEN WHEN THEIRS DON'T MAKE SENSE, EITHER???

Anyway... I agree fully with this since it's so weird to me... that 1. people don't understand EITHER deep reading, nuance or interpretation... 2. people think making a character soft is ignoring their canon? and, 3. TWO IDEAS CAN'T EXIST AT ONCE?

Please. Not to be rude but... Bakugo is definitely holding onto us and asking why so many people are presenting false narratives of him without considering that maybe... what's outside doesn't always equal what's within.

Good post, Pluvi.

[selfcareparker]

yesss the letter format 💝💓💘💖💞💕💖💞💓 (lovely anon)

my dearest aria (a hamilton reference lmao),

i’m home alone (bc i wanted the house alone to get my head together after my brothers were mean to me 🙃) and i’m so hype LMAO but i’m watching chloe x halle’s tiny desk concert and honestly just vibing. (this is so random) besides zendaya like they are my badass black women role models. my one accomplishment would be to learn to body roll like them LMAO

oh nevermind i can’t have anything nice, my dad just came home 🙃 WHAT A WAY TO START OFF THIS ASK WTFFF

i’m liking tfatws, the second episode was veryyy intense imo but WANDAVISION IS SO GOOD😭 i knew it was going to be my favorite from the really old trailer but it’s really good and i promise it’s not just sitcoms, girl especially cuz you’ll have all the episodes already out- we were having to wait every week😭 BUT ITS SO GOOD I PROMISE HDJSHDJSH lmao reading this i was like “i- the episodes aren’t an hour long” but i feel that, it’s hard for me to watch tfatws bc they are an hour long and i’m like 😐 but wandavision episodes are less than 30mins bc I KID YOU NOT they have the damn 10 MINUTE CREDITS DHDJSJ no i don’t think we’ve talked about this b4 lol but it all depends on the series for me. i binged love island uk in less than a week bc i was so invested and LITERALLY LOVE IT but uh those episodes are like an hour and a half, but say i was binging tfatws (it’s so hard to type that ohmigosh) i honestly would not be able to do it bc of the intensity (you may be like what intensity but if you’ve seen episode 2 by the time you’re reading this.......... isaiah and the scene afterwards is all i have to say, esp me being black it was so tough :/)

girl you’re fine, as long as you’ve experienced it once hahaha i think the reason why it’s so important to my family (this letter feels so personal and extreme HSJSJA IM SORRY) is bc my grandmother loved it and in my family i guess it’s just important to us lol like my mom and dad love it too and we have the literal VHS tapes LMAO, but it only came up recently cuz my youngest brother was watching lion guard HAHA and he wanted to see the originals :) and fun fact (unless you already know) but there’s a lion king part 2 and 1 1/2 and i have all three ON VHS HAHAHA but i love lion king 1 duh (the og) but part two’s music and love story..... is so good. anyway. 🦁

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING DURING THE WHOLE MOVIE THEATER ENCOUNTER THING HAHAHA AND WHEN SHE WAS SAYING AWKWARD I WAS LIKE WTF THE NOISE LMAOOOO i don’t think there’s a better way to describe that whole situation than ZKDHDJSHAJAJSHDJSNAHA. yeah. yeaaaa at the cinemas (i like the word cinema more than movies 🥰) here they have chips (fries), some have ice cream, nachos, drinks, hot dogs, the cinema we were at had pretzels and like BURGERS I WAS LIKE HUH OKAY and ya know obviously popcorn but i don’t know why the theaters (or cinemas) here do that, it started a long time ago though like yearsssss

PLEASE i have the longest movie watchlist and uhh haven’t seen any of them JDJSKA (istg i use HSJSSKSH as a period - like . ) i’m still hype for cherry but very hesitant (idk if i can handle it) but i’m thinking about watching it in the next couple of weeks? i know it’ll take me forever bc i’m gonna have to keep pausing and shit but idk. i’ve asked around for very specific trigger warnings and time stamps so i REALLY know what’s coming (even if it spoiled the film a bit for me) but i do really wanna see it (i think? writing this now i’m not so sure lol) so whooooooo really knows lol, but chaos walking YES i was really excited about it :))) and about my friend uhh dude you don’t sound mean at all i was literally thinking the same thing but worse HAAKL idk what she was there for???? she bought my ticket tho so 💁🏾‍♀️ whatever

“SIMS ahh, BUNK BEDS ahh” had me cracking up lmao and you know my sims status JAJAHHAJ but i’m gonna become like you, saving every 5 minutes 😭 but that’s exactly what happened to me, i really didn’t know whether to shut it off or not but after 2 hours i was heartbroken lol i’m literally making a list of things i need to redo that wasn’t saved lmao

CAN I JUST SAY UR A MASTERMIND THOUGH??? UR SIMS GAME SOUNDS SO *chefs kiss* IM CRINE university is PAINFULLY long and LITERALLY I FEEEL THAT like you can’t do anything else without failing, i had my sim go to a party once for like a few hours and i felt so dumb afterwards like urgh he should’ve been studying LMAOO just cracking down on work honestly. UR NEIGHBOR!AU IN THE SIMS PLEASEEE i am very much in love with it, yes. (pouring rain has just suddenly begun where i am rn wow ok) i love that you put them on the same lot, that was really really smart and i love that ur living out your sexuality in the sims😭 i was abt to say “now you can say you’ve got experience bc of the sims” but ANYWAY IGNORE ME fhdhs THE ALIEN BABY DHSJSK i hope it’s not a dealbreaker for enisa. that’d be tragic. IM BACK IN UPPERCASE THO BC YES MAKING OUT IN THE SIMS IS SO HOT TO ME??? I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE STFU OH MY GOSH- all the stuff, whispering sweet nothings, and the making out, and JUST ALL OF IT!!! AM I TOUCH STARVED????? there was this time i made my sim just continue to woohoo bc it was turning me on big time. ANYWAY

half way through that i had to go to my grandmothers house (not the one that likes lion king, but uh hmm idk if you remember but i was talking abt my shit family so yeah that grandmother lol) so now i’m finishing this 🥴 and instead of chloe x halle i’m watching a tom interview lmao & if this takes me longer than 30 minutes.... imma cry

I REALLY WANNA ASK- IS IT BC UR GERMAN LIKE YOU CAN JUST WRITE OUT THAT LONG ASS WORD???? i mean i can’t write out supercalafrag- anyway, but that word is a bit nonsense, UR WORD IS A REAL WORD DUDE HDJSHS i love how ur like “maybe i mixed up these words” YEA OK.

lol i had to google what are waveformers lol (lol makes a comeback) and they look like curlers that you would sleep in (here we would call them curlers or uhm i forgot uhhhhhhh rollers i think) but ur fine when am i ever making sense?? i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌

H20 H20 H20 OH MY GOODNESS SHE BROUGHT UP H20 OK MY LIFE WAS H20🥲 I HAVE THEIR LOCKET NECKLACE AND (short storytime) when i was younger i thought they were american despite their accents (idk i was dumb) but then i figured they weren’t when lewis went to go study in america HAHAH ALSO FAVORITE COUPLE CLEO AND LEWIS UGH WATCH ME REWATCH THE SHOW NOW THANKS (also i hated elizabeth so much) but anyway back on topic, when lewis went to go study in the US i looked up where the show took place and all that good stuff and i found out they were australian HAHAH and that started my obsession with accents LMAO the uk :’)) (i’m proofreading AND AUSTRALIA IS NOT A PART OF THE UK LMAOO IM SOO DHSJSSHS) also it is now one of my many goals (besides the body roll HAHAH) to go to mako island (that’s what it’s called right??)

about music, i googled stormzy and i might listen to a song of his.. LOL I WANNA GIVE IT A TRY IMMA DO IT FOR YOU NFDVSFSG lmaoo the german rapper had me cackling (autocorrect once again being helpful and said raper and i’m like nOO) i mean we all have that one person. can’t lie, won’t lie. my one (IM SORRY BUT AUTOCORRECT HAD “MY ONE TRUE ACCOMPLISHMENT” SITTING AND READY HDJSJA I DONT EVEN TYPE THAT wHAT) person out of my white soft boy with brown hair and brown eyes type would beeeee pete davidson. love me some petey. i was gonna say rex orange county as well lmao but i don’t really loveeee him i’m just in love with his music... and wanna be friends with him..... so 👉🏾👈🏾 (i never do that fdshsh)

oh my goodness, i love tattoos too- GASP what are you thinking of getting 🥺 i want tattoos too but i’m too indecisive to figure out what to have & where. especially in my family... idk they aren’t frowned upon but my mom’s not applauding the thought lol, if i got one it would have to be meaningful but i am absolutely in love with (for example) ariana grande’s finger tattoos !! they’re so cute and simple :’) i don’t even know if i can get tattoos? my skin is... interesting. not in a bad way!! just like.... idk how to explain it??? keyloids run in the family & i got a piercing once and it got infected soo :/ the doctor also confirmed that if i wanted tattoos they couldn’t be in color so LMAO

ONCE AGAIN THIS WHOLE THING FEELS SO TMI DHSHSSJ IM LIKE OHMIGOSH SHUT UP SHE DOESNT CARE JESJSKS

in regards to you not sleeping, i wanted to mention that dumb bird, what was the reason it was up so early aT 4AM???? SIR WHO YOU CALLING TO??? also it’s 11:30pm and idk why i’m tired???

yeah i was never SUPER into justin so i don’t know exactly what albums you’re talking about lol, i do know yummy though.. but everyone did hahaha also i listen to so much pop 🙈 i mean maybe... idk what would count as pop and what wouldn’t. that new person feeling though.. i get that. it’s like who is this new person..? i kinda feel like that with taylor swift (i was never THAT into her either though so it’s like oh wait i didn’t know you from the beginning instead of hello old friend but you’re different lol)

about the concerts, thanks 🥰🥰 that’s so sweet what you did for your mom too, it’s nice seeing them so happy like 🥲 awh AND GLEE IS AND WAS MY LIFE FOR A V V LONG TIME, i’ve been meaning to rewatch it for the longest time lmaooo but i’m just so lazy and it’s such a commitment... i’ll have to get emotionally involved again and idk if i want that rn. but i have a friend on instagram and she runs a glee fan account and it’s such a big part of her life i really don’t think i could ever be THAT obsessed with something. like another one of my friends loves tom holland so much that she changed her mom’s name in her phone to what tom’s mom’s name is in his phone (that was confusing lol) and obviously i’m not judging them AT ALL, it just couldn’t be me lol

CONCERTS LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN 😩😩 LIKE THE EXPERIENCE AND THE FEELINGGG URGHSJS i wanna see a few people live like ari and chloe x halle and- hmm.... idk who else FJDSJ rex orange county i guess huh anyway, the experience just sounds so amazing and the atmosphere is just ✨✨✨ yeah

aria do it do it do it do it do it- watch hamilton!! but with subtitles bc you won’t catch half of the things they’re saying without them LMAO (me and my family watched it and they all didn’t like it bc they didn’t know what was happening lol) BUT DONT WATCH IT AT 4AM LMAO ITS LITERALLY 3 HOURS LONG

yes!! superior peter fics 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and it just shows how much of an incredible writer AND PERSON you are through your fics that you can turn a blurb into 2k....... like what.

LMAO the annoying thing, sometimes i feel like i’m bothering people (like right now HAHAH) but i think it’s my antisocial side being like yeaa no one wants to talk to you like you wanna talk to them :’) idk it’s strange!! sometimes i get really ✨insecure✨ and overthink everything LOL like is this too long, im talking too much, i’m swearing too much, oh lord i’m a pain, all that good shit lmao so that’s fun:))

ALSO YOUR BLOG IS SO FUN TO ME HAHAK LIKE ITS JUST YOUR OWN AND I LOVE THAT!!! like you talk about everything and anything on here lol,, and i say that bc what you said lmao how if i was someone else i would want to fuck me so bad😭 i honestly don’t understand how i don’t have people lining up though..... but if no one’s gonna tell you... then you tell yourself, period (and sometimes telling yourself is fucking yourself HSHAJKS OK NEXT)

ohmigosh the realization you had that you graduated last year and are going to uni this year🤧 but the fact that you had a teacher who LEFT THE GROUP CHAT bc she was mad at y’all i- 😭 but yeah about your maths (i always wondered why you guys call it maths and the US calls it math. like i know so many people out of the states, not just in the uk that say maths) teacher- i saw this post that said online school is looking a lot like dora the explorer😭😭 “you have any questions?” 🦗 “okay bye then” lmao and please i love when tests have nothing to do with what you studied like ??? thanks? sometimes i get scared that my teacher will somehow find out that i googled everything? or like my answer is too close to the answer sheet or something. i get sooo nervous lol but i’m already past that point of not being able to do anything myself DHJS i mean i’m still learning like i said!! read the question, read the answer. boom. now i know the answer to the question and i learned!

THANKS 🙈🥰🤧 idk how else to explain my feelings LMAO i feel it’s cool that you find my dance lessons and voice lessons cool so thanks :’)

oh god not headache season 😭😭 allergies are the worst like it’s not even funny. is headache season just when the seasons are changing or is it like... all throughout the summer? cuz i love the summer lmaoo i love the winter too but i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO

GIRL IF THAT BIRD DONT STOP CHIRPING- i am 100% convinced that it is the same bird trying to give you headaches and no sleep and it needs to stfu 😤 and pLEASE ur theme is adorable and pretty and cute but also it just feels like you? idk if i’m explaining this right or if it’s bc i’ve been talking to you for a bit but it’s cute but not innocent in a way that i’m surprised that you write smut and- yeah, that didn’t make sense!! but ur new theme is gonna look pretty too and as long as you like it, it’ll be amazing🥰

yessssss the fact that megan is gonna be ur pfp YES JUST YES

edit: ok i just need to 🥺😭 sometimes u make me wanna cry cuz i feel like you’re just a kind person. i truly mean this, the fact that you celebrate yours & others stretch marks makes me so 🥺🥺🥺 i honestly don’t know anyone who has said they want need more stretch marks and it’s just all very lovely to me :’)) OKAY IMMA STOP BEING SAPPY

#yes my fake tags are back #by popular demand #aka me #and look i have actual tags this time! #i’m seriously craving water ice rn....... huh #but it’s past midnight and i fr fr want a snack #aw man #i wrote that last paragraph while doing my tags yes #and i hope you become responsible for that anon’s orgasm #assuming they had one #and i saw your response to the tom thing and yeaa when they only look like that for something and it’s like aw bae be yourself #i’m gonna shut up now and find a snack but goodnight!! morning?? IDK #IF THESE TAGS END UP AS ACTUAL TAGS I AM SO SORRY HAHAHA #alright proofreading done and i’m gonna go eat cereal

okay i‘m on my way to a driving lesson rn and afterwards i have a zoom uni thing, and then another uni thing lmao. but hopefully i can reply to this in between because i‘ve been dying to talk to you since i got this ask dldjds💘💘💘 (i really like this heart. i had a 💖 phase for a while and now it‘s 💘 (seems like a very romantic heart but.... it is what it is idk dkddj)

^okay that was literally all i wrote before my lesson lmfao. just had the worst driving lesson ever dbdvsnylkxsksj i think i‘ve gotten too used to being good at driving and now i‘ve gotten too cocky with it 🥴 anyway i‘ve had such a stressful day and overall week but tbh i‘m already feeling better bc i can (indirectly) talk to you <333

omg i went to chloe or halle (i don‘t remember who out of the two)‘s instagram the other day and found out that they are not twins alejeleksjsksj but yes oh my god their voices are literally angelic and i can‘t wait to see Halle as Ariel (Arielle??)🥰 and omg it‘s literally 2021 and we‘ve only had......... one(?) black Disney Princess like it‘s about fucking time (I might be forgetting someone, I‘m not too familiar with the new Disney films, but as far as I remember there‘s only Tiana right? (who is literally a frog for 3/4 of the film 😭😭) so yes i‘m here for it too😌😌😌 (obviously she‘s not a cartoon like tiana ekdlek but she‘s a disney princess you know what i mean ddkjdh)

pfkejdj i‘m already overwhelmed with my parents i can‘t imagine having siblings too 😭😭 (sometimes i wish i had siblings but then other times (like after reading what you wrote dksjj) i‘m glad that i‘m an only child lmao like your brothers being mean to you and i remember when you cried and he was just like 👁👄👁 ok. like i’m totally okay being an only child sksjsj———and he doesn‘t listen to music 🤧🤧🤧 (although i guess that‘s good for you because at least he can‘t annoy you by listening to loud music that you hate dmdn)

okay okay i might watch wandavision then??? I‘ll definitely let you know!!! and yes omg i‘m loving tfatws (that really is so fucking hard to type omg) but same i totally get what you mean, i‘m not used to watching action series at all and every episode so far has been like a little movie so i‘m glad that i didn‘t wait until it was all out cause there’s no way i could binge watch that lol) and yes last episode was really intense. i‘m glad that marvel are talking about racism because (from what i‘ve seen) they haven‘t been the best in that department, and i‘m really curious to see what they‘ll do in the next episodes (curious isn‘t the right word but excited isn‘t the right wort either, like i‘m excited but in a neutral way ? i‘ll shut up dslsksj i hate that german has so many words that you cant translate because theres a really good german word that describes how i’m feeling but i cant think of a good translation ugh)

okay i absolutely need to watch lion king (and part 2 and 1/ 1/2 dksksj) AND hamilton, i might even do it soon 👀

BURGERS AT THE CINEMA? EBEEISNDBEKSK i‘ll come to the US just to go and watch a movie lmaooo, i think all the popcorn sizes and drinks are bigger as well, i‘ll come and watch chaos walking with you 😌😌 does next week work?

and yeah i‘ve seen posts with specific time stamps and trigger warning for cherry too so if you haven’t looked on tumblr yet i’ve def seen some! (but ive also seen some on twitter and yeah- i mean idk youve probably looked on tumblr but yeah- then there’s also imdb which doesn’t have time stamps i believe but quite specific warnings, mostly without spoilers!)

Tbh i don‘t think i would have even considered watching cherry if tom wasn‘t in it... (i’m personally fine with most of the triggering topics/things like for some reason i’m just stoic when i’m watching the most tragic films ever dldldldlbut the plot just... idk if it‘s for me you know? just entertainment wise?).... and even with tom in it i‘m unsure skeldls, i‘d totally get if you decide not to watch it but let me know if you do i‘d want to hear your thoughts! <3

SKSLSJJ my sims both finally graduated!! i think i played sometime last week, and i literally got the achievement/notification that i‘d been playing with this household for 24hours.... and that was BEFORE they graduated dldjdldkdksjjs

oh no my tumblr broke and three paragraphs of me talking about sims were deleted 😭😭😭

WAIT NO I TOOK SCREENSHOTSSKSK because i couldn’t press save so i knew they might be gone okay okay okay i‘m a genius

*move out

oh no idk if the quality is too bad to read... idk how good your eyes are dkdkdjjd (also sometimes it will be really bad quality for some but not for others so i hope that the you can see the pics in a normal/good quality)

Okay let me continue

OMG THE ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL STUFF IS THE BEST PART ABOUT THE SIMS DIDLDKJIkdkj i kind of miss how in the sims 3 they would be making out basically lying on top of each other if they were on a bed— but in sims 4 when they‘re sitting next to each other and everything that‘s definitely hot too 😌😭 or with hot tubs dkdkdk how one sim climbs on the other sim‘s lap before they woohoo (i used to make them skinny dip in the hot tub and then make out and woohoo so they’re like naked on top of each other even if you can‘t see anything- en e waysss)

Dkdkdkdj so @ Rindfleischet.. blah bla. so it‘s basically just loads of individual words put together/connected and that‘s a really big part of german. so yesterday i had an online Einführungsveranstaltung for uni (like it was a zoom meeting where they just talked about general stuff about the uni and i was really anxious before, idk why, but it turned out absolutely fine so) and that words consists of the two words Einführung (introduction) and Veranstaltung (event) which are also two individual words but you can make a new word (Einführungsveranstaltung, so in english that‘s basically “introduction event“ lmao) by combining those two words. there are obviously some rules like you can‘t just combine random words in a random order but you can basically make infinite words (technically). for example (i feel like i‘m teaching a class just skip this if you don’t care 🙃🙃🙃djdjdkdlns)

for example i could say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer (which is not underlined with red by tumblr because it is a grammatically correct compound word (i think that‘s what they‘re called?)) which is the words introduction + event + participant, so that word just means “participant of an introductory event“ but instead it‘s one word? i hope that makes sense? dkdkkdksks i mean it makes sense in german but idk if it makes sense to you cause idk if i‘m explaining it very well lmao,

(I just deleted a really really long paragraph that i wrote about gender in the german language and grammar, you‘re welcome slsksksj)

my capacity to think has now been used up for the week 🥴🥴🥴 i absolutely do not blame you if you just skipped over that part or can‘t be bothered to (re)read my awful explanation edkflsksjdjdj (again, i had double the amount of words but i just deleted it dkdkdlslsl but what‘s left lf my german lesson is probably confusing enough already😭i‘m sorry🥴)

so to answer your question LEJDKSKJ: it‘s really common to have long words in german, words that are just word+ word+ word + word made into one long word. obv rindfleischetikettierung..... is a very extreme example and it‘s normally just 2-4 words made into one! So yup i think that comes mostly from german and talking german and growing up here and going to school here and everything dmdfnsksx

i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌— YES. YES. Yes. I love that about us 😌😌🥰🥰/ I love us. Yes.

okay but your friend changing her mom‘s name into tom‘s mum‘s name (was that right? Dkdkdjh)—— so Justin Bieber once posted something where you could see that his Dad‘s number was saved as „Daddy Cakes“ (which, thinking back, sounds very weird ekejjej) and till this day I have my Dad’s contact name as Tata (which is serbian for Dad lmao), “Tata🍰“ in my phone because of it 😭😭😭😭🙃🙃🙃 it‘s not because of justin anymore like i‘ve just gotten used to it by now but at first i did it because of justin lol........ but nowadays i don‘t think i‘m THAT type of fan of anyone- like you know how people have fandom names (Justin‘s fans are the Beliebers, One Direction fans are Directioners (writing that hurt my soul💔💔💔)) and I wouldn‘t consider myself a fan of anyone like that. like even with tom i wouldn‘t call myself........ does tom even have a name for his fans??? Well if he does, I wouldn‘t call myself that. Like i used to be such a hardcore stan for any celebrity that i liked and now it‘s just... okay, i like em. (She says on her blog where she writes fan fiction about Tom Holland — WJDJEJDKELSKSKKSNSNDXB🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃)

Omg rex orange county!!!!!! I don‘t know that many songs like I‘ve only listened to the album pony, but i love it 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

thanks again for what you said about my fics/writing I‘m🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Pete Davidson Pete Davidson Pete Davidson I‘m-🥰🥰🥰🥰 and I can‘t explain why. But as blissfulparker said the other day (i don‘t want to tag her and make her read through all of this lolll) “I like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death 😍“ (or something along the lines of that) eskkejs okay pete isn‘t that bad, he looks quite good on some days but other days you‘re like... is this man alive? Like i don‘t want to be mean I love Pete so much The King of Staten Island is literally my favourite film ever (although it‘s not my #1 because of how he looks, but i mean he does look good) VUT ALSO

(Okay i was gonna look for a terrible picture of him but he really doesn‘t look as bad as people say??? like. i think he‘s hot. can‘t necessarily explain why. so that‘s that on that.)

i‘m not going chronologically right now (i just keep scrolling up to your ask and replying to whatever i see first sksksksh) so i might miss a thing or two that you said

Okay Stormzy, you really really don‘t have to dkdkdjd like i think you said you don‘t really listen to rap, and uk rap is a whole nother thing from us rap because of the accent i feel like??? (That sentence did not make sense) BUT if you‘re looking for a few songs that aren‘t like RAP rap, then I‘d recommend One Second (feat HER), Superheroes, Own it (which you might know?), ummm maybe the song Lessons?, he has a ton of Lion King references by the way dkdjdj for example in Rachael‘s Little Brother but that‘s like more RAP again if you know what I mean?😭 and it‘s also like 5 Minutes long and tbh i only started liking that song a year after that album came out lmao but Rachael‘s Little Brother is possibly my fav Stormzy song, then there is Shut Up which you absolutely need to listen to just for fun dldjdjd like it‘s just pure fun and also a little funny lmao, especially if you‘re not British (i imagine so at least) cause he‘s like shuTTTT up idk dldkdjdldkjdhdhfjfbfldlsksksks

Vossi Bop is one of his classics, and then maybeee - ok so there‘s Blinded By Your Grace Pt. 2 lmaoobdjsj it‘s very (Christian/) religious but i like it a lot even though i‘m not really Christian (at least not practicing or anything) so idk about your views on religion but i do like the song a lot just by like the sound lmao

Okay so again you absolutely DO NOT have to listen to any, especially not for me dlskdj but I really do recommend the songs Superheroes, One Second and Rachael‘s Little Brother (and all the other ones i mentioned but if you don‘t listen to a lot of his songs you should at least give these three a try <3333) also let me know some of your songs? 🥺 like i dont care who they‘re by but i‘d love to listen to some that you like and Recommend 🥰🥰🥰

Okay so skdjdjdjddhhddhdhjsk... I used to watch all of my series in German (like H2O) bc obviously they were on german tv so they were german- and i knew that most of these actors i saw on tv were american and i was always SO fascinated that they all learned german for this show??? Like I actually thought they were the people‘s real voices and that these English and American actors were learning german so they could re-record the whole ass show and do everything in german dkdkdldjdjjd... i swear I thought that until I was like 14 omg. And then the first time that I watched H2O in the original version i was sooo confused about their accents because to me all actors who spoke english were American?? I mean MOST of those shows are American so I wasn‘t completely off but yeah i was definitely caught off guard when I heard all of their Australian accents for the first time 💀💀😭😭😭

@ math vs maths, math actually makes more sense in my opinion. like you have the word mathematics, then the abbreviation would obviously be math... why would English people randomly add the s from the end??? Or maybe it makes more sense after all because it‘s like plural??? Now I‘m unsure dkdkdkdj but i do say maths because that‘s how i was taught to say it and i hear the word maths more than math but yeah dldkdjs i think math might even make more sense (okay i just tried saying math and maths is easier to pronounce but again tjat might just be me, oh god i‘ll stop talking about that disgusting thing (mathematics).)

not the crickets and dora LMAOOOSNSNSMDNBS yeah that teacher was... a lot. a lot a lot a lot didjjd but she kinda liked me so she always gave me good grades/marks but the people she didn‘t like..... ooft. OOF.

Fksksjsj idek about headache season like i just know that i get headaches from the sun and i‘m allergic to only one.. type of...pollen??? (I don’t understand the science of that whole pollen thing and idek if it’s called pollen in english i just know sex pollen from fan fics😔)and yeah we have this weird wind that makes a lot of people get headaches yeahd dkdkdj. i loved the i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO lllioool i love that i really do. i always struggle so much in the summer cause i never have anything to wear. i feel like i buy so many new summer clothes every year but when i end up looking for an outfit i don‘t ever find anything 😭 (so i just go naked— lmao jk jk) but i‘m generally not the biggest fan of summer so-

OMG THIS FUCKING BIRD ISTG, okay the first time i heard it i went to sleep at like 5 am, so the next day i was like let me go to bed earlier so the bird doesn‘t keep me up, so i went to bed at 4 am (🥲) and THE BIRD JUST STARTED FUCKING CHIRPING SO LOUDLY, so the next day i went to bed at 3 am AND IT FUCKING STARTED AT 3 AM and it‘s still there 😁 every. night.

and since you said you‘ve gotten used to my theme and everything (idk where this transition came from😭) so tomorrow (2nd april) we have our... wait what‘s an anniversary but for a month.? I think month is like mensus in latin OK NO THATS DEF WRONG DKDKDJ wait

So Tomorrow is our... mensiversary💘💘💘💘💘💘 or at least from the first time you sent an ask. i couldn‘t find it on my tumblr anymore because tumblr is a bit of a bitch but i remember the first thing you ever sent (in an ask) was something lovely about my writing and i always take screenshots of stuff like that, and i found it in my gallery. and i took that screenshot of your ask on the 2nd of march so i‘m assuming that‘s when you sent it 🥰🥰 i feel like i‘ve known you for a week not a month like how is it a month already????? (i mean this in a good way lmao but i really can’t believe that its been a month wtf)

omg no you make me want to cry because i just love you so much 😭😭🥺 but about the stretch mark thing it‘s just.. it‘s not even me trying to empower other women (or anyone else who has stretch marks) to shake off these dumb insecurities that the patriarchy and capitalism have instilled in us— ok no it‘s definitely that too lmao. But i mean I‘ve always loved stretch marks, i‘ve just always loved loved loved them so much so it makes me genuinely sad that people don‘t like them. so yeah. i dont really know how to explain it lol, like i‘m not (only) hoping that people realise that hating your stretch marks is giving the men and the patriarchy what they want per se- (that made no sense) it‘s just because i love stretch marks and think they‘re beautiful and also sexy. idk dldkdjls and omg the fact that you called me kind 🥺🥺🥺 like i don‘t really have a goal in life or anything, but if i had to choose a ‘goal‘ in life it would just be to be kind. (i‘ll end this here otherwise i‘m gonna talk about being kind for 30 more lines—)

And please. Do not ever feel like you‘re annoying me or sending too much. never ever ever. I get so happy when i see that you‘ve sent me an ask. No matter if it‘s a long one like this or just a short one where you‘re saying something about a post that i reblogged or something. I love hearing from/about you and talking to you 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

P.S: i‘m so sorry for the tags you‘re about to read they make even less sense than this post, also i reached the tag limit dkdkdj but i said some butterfly tattoos look tacky... and the next thing i said was since we‘re already speaking about Ariana- I DID NOT MEAN THAT SHE WAS TACKY dldkdjsj, i meant since you already mentioned some of her tattoos lmao

[transcendencism]

its like... the amount of people i’ve had to block bc ive found out they support him is really frustrating, and i dont blame those people, because most people don’t really know (i made one post actually naming him as my abuser and what he did w/ only the intention of getting his supporters to stay away from me and i deleted it after facing harassment abt it), and i try really hard to keep that in mind, but it’s just... it hurts to see how many people don’t even know, and probably never gonna know, because i can’t come out and tell people without getting harassed and gaslit. like my absolutely worst fear is that if i tried to be more public about it again, he’d make up a bunch of shit about me and take things out of context and i know that makes me sound suspicious but he made me doubt my own reality so much while we were friends, even when he’s not in my life anymore i STILL feel like he was right all along and i’m just misremembering everything and i was the real abuser, etc. etc. even though my therapist and my friends have assured me repeatedly that i have every right to be upset.

i just wish i could come out & say it, and he could face some actual fucking consequences. and maybe that’s not fair, maybe i should be wishing him the best, and that he’s learned from all that, and that he’s changed. but it’s hard, because up until the end he never admitted he was wrong. he never admitted to grooming me and emotionally abusing me and i just have to keep seeing him on blogs i previously thought were safe and have to make my space smaller and smaller and it’s just. gah.

anyway that’s the last post about it, i don’t like to talk about this super often bc 1) don’t want to give him a reason to harass me, and 2) i know it’s a tired topic of discussion that i’ve talked to death. but it feels weird posting about this on my main now that it’s gotten somewhat popular in the rdr2 fandom, and at least here my older followers know what and who i’m talking about, so it just.. feels like people are actually listening when i talk about it here.

[autisticangus]

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt. 

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him. 

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident. 

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

[littlebabycrybtch]

oh my god im sorry but i HATE reading analysis discourse so fuckgin much. its so annoying and unnecessary and cruel bc per usual ableists just Scream over everyone and manipulate the view by focusing on the wrong points. disrespect towards this issue is never gonna work and yall would get that if you actually listened to the way the (usually nd) people felt about it and why, but ur too busy mocking them so you look good for consuming the Proper Medias tm. i mean you literally have to know this isnt productive, yall keep going bc you get a kick out of laughing at ‘unintelligent’ people.

‘uu ur teachers didnt oppress u by making u read to kill a mockingbird instead of the hunger games” ok listen 1. media you dont personally care abt can still definitely hold depthful value and be analyzed. oh my god lmao. the people who prefer ~that kind~ of media arent stupid and dont prefer easy thinking, its your own fault for Not looking into it yourself and just assuming its worthless, literally judging a book by its cover. LITERALLY avoiding the analysis skills you claim to have by assuming anything you read in highschool = smart, valuable and anything mainstream = stupid and useless. most books inherently contain symbolism and morals, a lot of these people CAN understand it, theyre just criticizing the inaccessibility of the writing that was forced on them academically. the people analyzing those medias instead of your favs are still taking in lessons even if they prefer to do it in a different format, i mean for instance THG is literally about fucking classism and racism and war you dumb hypocritical tunnel vision bitch, young adult media usually has a Lot of real world parallels in it that very much pertains to how teens see the world, thats the literal POINT, just cuz ur too elitist and dont respect children enough doesnt mean some books are ‘too stupid’ to analyze with any real social value, and 2. A BOOK NOT BEING EXCITING... OR EASY TO UNDERSTAND... IS LITERALLY SMTH VALID TO CRITICIZE IN MANY CASES, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE GIVING IT TO CHILDREN.... if a kid says “this is boring/too long/uses words that i dont know, so i cant make any sense of it” that doesnt always mean theyre lazy or w/e, if its not a book made for kids (bc kids can understand mature themes but that doesnt. mean you can just throw all the other skills they arent experienced with yet at them, they still need writing tailored to them), Thats your first problem, but sometimes ur book is just fucking boring all together. a book can have as much symbolism as it wants, if its not there to open the mind and provide necessary depth, but to feel self important and make you feel self important for getting it, thats not a good book. and with books i do respect now like TKAM i remember outright saying, “i literally cannot read this and dont get it at all” at like 10 yrs old, and my teachers didnt do shit to explain it or help me or give me any skills at all, they were just like. :) keep trying!! according to your scores we know you can do it!!! so, i did not keep trying, i gave up, and i guarantee if it had been a few years later it would have been easier. if i had been given the opportunity to read stories with similar morals that were made for my age range that i WANTED to read, i guarantee i wouldve gotten so much more out of that. but i was literally DISALLOWED, bro if i grabbed a book that actually interested me, i was told i couldnt check it out at ALL unless it was in the ‘range’ i was assigned, which was college level since i was in 4th grade. so if you think i shouldve kept reading, im being unironic rn, you need to go get a degree, become a teacher, and if a kid or teen says to you what i said, sit them down and TEACH THEM without shame, and fight for better regulations of what reading levels can be pushed on what age groups. if lit analysis is this important to you, FUCKING TEACH IT PROPERLY, that is literally the ONLY REAL SOLUTION to the problem you have, NOT SHAMING the people who were ALREADY FAILED BY THE SYSTEM.

the problem is not ‘idiots think symbolism is stupid’ the problem has ALWAYS been ‘the education system is flawed and how and when children are taught certain skills is so corrupted and damaging, the children growing up with it cannot Help but struggle later in life, and your issue should be with the system”. like can i be real. learn how to Emotionally ~analyze~ posts from sad kids with mental illnesses saying smth as basic as “i wish i wasnt forced to read mature books as a child without any themes pertaining to me at all bc it hurt my already fragile motivations for learning :/” without your ass getting defensive over the classics. bitches stan ‘the door is red to symbolize anger’ but think thg is just a stupid dystopia love triangle book................ ur not even that smart like yall are just elitist like LITERALLY just elitist if you mock the values ppl see in other books and claim theyre too stupid to understand ~real books~. a fucking mickey mouse cartoon could hold the exact same moral lesson as a 1200 page novel written by a college professor of 30 years, like the Exact Same Conclusions CAN be drawn no matter how many words and analogies and metaphors are thrown on top!! for many those fancy details make it more enriching but its literally possible to get the same concepts from “EASIER” material, that is not Lesser it is ACCESSIBLE and it should be ENCOURAGED all the same. yall are gatekeeping and its stupid, if you actually want ppl to analyze media then you’d applaud how they analyze their passions even when you dont share it, not shame them for struggling with understanding other stories. this rly boils down to either ‘i hate ppls preferences and wanna make them feel stupid’ OR the ever so lovely ‘i hate whiny disabled ppl and kids who were pressured to the point of burnout, and wanna make them feel stupid’. its fucking exhausting. idc how you guys feel, you talk to hear yourselves talk and its all just talk and nothing helpful, your disrespect doesnt work bc its an echo of the root problem. for gods sake shut up already lmao

[merlions]

hey i think it's time to stop being like, for example, "let's violently destroy these awful people for tagging the q slur" (the word queer) or like other words for identities

and start: recognizing that the ouroburotian nature of the internet punishes children for not having Purity Of Thoughts and committing Thought Crimes and doing anything slightly wrong and like help the world reevaluate that ideology?

like if you're taught from an early age that Some Words Have Weight then things start seeming Sensitive. like even identifying as an agender pansexual person at age 14, I had a hard time saying the word "transgender" or even "gay" to my parents at age 17, even knowing my mom's best friend throughout her entire life (until he died during the AIDS epidemic) was gay and that she was not gonna like Hate me or Know smth abt me for saying it

it's just like so clear why people think those are slurs - being that they are emotionally charged words unless you spend a LOT of time dismantling that in yourself and if the people around you do the same - and if you attack people head on saying they're fucked they just think they should double down because we train these same, again, CHILDREN, who are raised on the internet (even if they're now adults who have just maintained these ideas) that any attack on what they think is Good and Right and Just is made by a Bad Person who doesn't have love and compassion in their heart. like if someone is mad at you for tw-ing something, they're an alt right redditor fuckboy who's about to call you a snowflake cuck

alternately: addressing "yes I know this is an emotionally loaded word but hey, it's just the name of my identity, and being told that's a bad word hurts my feelings" is an appeal to what these same ppl have been indoctrinated in since they started interacting with the internet: a genuine want to do good, while lacking the ability to deal with more than black and white in terms of ethics

and listen i know it's hard to not be mad but 1. i was indoctrinated in just this exact way, was predisposed to it even because black and white thinking characterizes ocd, and it's taken years of learning how to be a human to move away from that and i still dont always know what's right! WHICH IS ALSO a really important thing to always bear in mind, but that kind of indoctrination paired with cancel culture means it's a really fragile and terrified state of mind so opening things up to just instinctively react as NOT mad, instead of instinctively reacting with "fuck you" is the ONLY way to let these ppl learn, TRUST ME I HAVE BEEN AND AM ONE OF THEM

2. have you ever met someone who has changed their mind when you yelled at them. even once have you ever met someone who has done that even one single time. or is approaching with understanding always at least going to give you a chance to change their mind??? and can you kinda see how saying "well fuck you for thinking queer is a slur, you shit hell fuck destroying my identity" is black and white thinking instead of saying "I understand you're trying to do a nice thing and your intentions are good, unfortunately the consequences of these actions are sadly harmful, but you're not a bad person for doing that unintentionally, so it would just be a really great and meaningful act to change that habit" as well as "i know you should know already but it is literally possible that you have actually never heard this said from a kind voice instead of a yelling one"

I dunno yall like let's treat people who are clearly trying to do good with kindness empathy and understanding or else what are we even doing